#and i think it's resonating with me quite deeply because uh

[saltpepperbeard]

the way several characters have told ed and stede to "shut up" in some way, shape, or form. but when they're both talking to each other, they absolutely cling to every single word. they can't get enough of each other's stories, or ramblings, or little recounts of their days.

[whateverthedragonswant]

The anti reactions from yesterday have me just shaking my head. I am by no means a professed stan of Jensen. I'm a fan of his works and I've followed his career, I appreciate his interactions with the public (like cons) as well as his public persona, but I don't worship the ground the guy walks on. He's a human being who I enjoy watching on my screen from time to time in different roles or displaying said public persona. That's it. I support him, but I don't stan him blindly, if that makes sense. Not him or any other celebrity.

That being said, I found the anti/critical reactions to something Jensen allegedly said that had been tweeted out from the Dallas Con to be very interesting and highly entertaining in some cases, especially with one particular anti blog that consistently claims to love this man and want the best for him while psychoanalyzing him and hating (and blaming everything that Jensen does/says that disappoints them) on his wife with the maturity level of a fourth grader. To put it bluntly, antis showed their asses yesterday and it is pure confirmation of what I and so many on here have been saying for quite some time now in regards to these posts/blogs.

Yesterday:

Tweet from the Gold Panel: "Jensen: 'he and I don't take on projects for the impact, we're serious about what we do.'"

Me: 'huh, you know, that wording seems a bit... Eh, you know what, knowing Jensen and how this fandom works anytime he dares to breathe, I'm going to wait to see the panel myself tomorrow and get the context of the question and his answer. If anything, he just misspoke, but I highly doubt he meant it in a bad way. Knowing him, he absolutely cares about the impact it has had on so many people and he might have thought the asker meant something else. Still, I'mma wait and see for myself.'

Antis:

and one particular blog (the one that claims to love him be in love with him):

'Jensen, you're no true actor and I would know since I'm an expert on acting! How dare you! You've hurt me so deeply!'

Today:

I watched the Gold Panel. Question was did the guys think about how massive the impact SPN would be in reference to their careers aka people knowing who they are, people following them, etc. Basically, did they know what it would become, something Jensen clarifies with the fan before answering. Jensen's actual response:

"Yeah, I don't, I mean, I guess to kind of quickly break it down, I don't think he and I go into any of these, uh, jobs or roles or stories thinking about the impact it's going to have externally. I think we go into it as...you know, they hire us to come in and do a job and...and he and I both, uh, we both take that job seriously even though it may not look like it all the time. But we also have a lot of fun doing the job because we truly enjoy doing what we do. That being said, we're not thinking 'oh let's do this because I want the effect that's going to have on a greater scale'. We're just doing our job. And hopefully, it resonates to people. Hopefully, somebody out there is entertained. And if that's the case, then we've done our job."

Me trying to see what had the antis losing their minds, especially that one blog and NOT finding it anywhere:

This is why you always watch the panels for yourself and avoid anti posts/blogs at all costs. They always claim they are there to be the opposite to AA's, to apply critical thinking, to view Jensen as human instead of a god, to be the ones with "a reality check", but they jump just as quickly as that group and crucify the guy before doing due diligence. Critical thinking should also include getting your facts straight before spreading misinformation (and in this case, more hatred). This is literally the same tool kit lawyers, law enforcement, and investigative journalists use all the time. It's good old common sense.

So block, mute, filter these people. Do whatever you gotta do, but this proves once and for all what we've all been saying. These anti/critical blogs that claim to "apply critical thinking" are full of shit.

Critical thinking is defined as "the objective analysis and evaluation of an issue in order to form a judgment." The reactions were not objective, especially the one blog that had an emotional heartbroken reaction. They were subjective, colored by their own biases. They did not analyze and evaluate the situation fully before issuing a judgement; they were missing a very crucial piece of the puzzle before they started sounding off and they knew it but they didn't care.

So the next time an anti/critical blog says in defense of their hating on/criticizing of Jensen (or anyone really) that they're applying critical thinking and you should try the same when you propose an alternative point of view (about Jensen or not), just remember it's all a smoke screen of bullshit. So again, block, mute, filter, whatever you gotta do. Personally, I think this shit's hilarious and entertaining on a Real-Housewives type level.

And that one blog that had such an emotional reaction to something that Jensen didn't even say in the way they thought he did, it's one thing for you to feel the way that you do, but spreading misinformation as you did, saying Jensen is no true performer, I don't know, maybe it's time to let go of your obsession with loving (aka being in love with) and hating this guy and move on?

[jaynovz]

Silverflint Mod AU Rec List

Okay folks, it sure did take me quite awhile to round all of these up! Modern AU hold a particular appeal for me b/c it’s always a challenge to map personalities and storylines over to a completely new setting while preserving the characters. I deeply enjoy the process of extrapolating what we know of them in canon to a verse they’ve never been in, both writing it myself and exploring what others do with them! :D 

Enjoy! :P

--

Seedlings by twofrontteethstillcrooked:

Summary: "If there's anything I can help you with, or if you'd like to order flowers for an upcoming occasion--"

"All right, honestly?" Handsomely disgruntled customer looked Silver dead in the eye and said, "I'm looking for a gift that says, 'You are making a dreadful mistake. Call me when you've figured out what a fucking hash of things you've made.'" He spoke the way some people chewed tinfoil.

Silver felt two things: lust like a plague of locusts, and the words 'uh-oh' waft through his brain.

Notes: So this is my favorite modern au of all time. Silver works at a flower shop and rents out this fixer upper of a house. Flint is an HVAC guy who gives Silver a loan essentially (after some coaxing) for a new furnace in the middle of winter. Anyway it’s. I mean I love everything this author writes but this one is my all time fave.

Lease agreement by twofrontteethstillcrooked:

Summary: "It occurs to me," Flint said, "I shouldn't be any part of flattered and nothing but concerned that a 30-something is renting my home and yes by some default furnishings because he has deliberately and with malice aforethought divested himself of nearly all worldly possessions, or never had any to begin with, not out of a desire to live a more pared-down existence faithful to piety or poverty but because he has behaved so irrationally in his adult years he has been left with hardly more than the shirt on his back and a box of hair styling products."

"I'll have you know it's a caddy of hair styling products." Silver grinned. "Perhaps I am devoted to cultivating a minimalist lifestyle."

"I don't think moving into a fully-stocked house is how that works."

Or, lonely homeowner James Flint meets renter John Silver, and questionable meals follow.

Notes: And here’s my second all time favorite lmao. It’s Flint pov whereas Seedlings is Silver pov. So you get the whole experience from this author! But yes, very what it says on the tin. Silver is renting, living in Flint’s house and they fall in love.

Blue all in a rush by twofrontteethstillcrooked:

Summary: There were dozens of questions Flint wanted to ask. He chose, "Did it not occur to you I would find out you were here almost immediately?"

Notes: And here’s the last of the twofrontteeth trilogy of my favorite mod au lmao. I basically always read all three of these in a row. This is the one that I would say is the closest to a canon map over. But we start after what would have been canon events, after the Break Up, as it were. 

All three have this writing style I just adore like... it’s so striking. It’s funny but also resonant and visceral. Anyway, treat yourself. Everyone should read these.

Always in Season (and the Seasonal Fare series) by mycapeisplaid:

Summary: Towering sand dunes, crystal-clear water, miles of forest, vineyards, orchards, and very spotty cellular service -- John Silver finds himself in a part of the state he's never been before and decides to take on seasonal work. Meanwhile, back from his yearly wintering in Florida, James Flint thinks that perhaps he'll take on a new business venture, even though it means he might have to interact with people other than his two close friends. Their summer employment fosters a friendship that could become something more. Like construction season in Michigan, the two must navigate through their own obstacles in order to seek an alternative route toward happiness.

Notes: Michigan verse!! God I love these boys, they’re so fun and wholesome. Massage therapist Silver, fishing charter Flint with setting as a character in such an interesting way!! The worldbuilding is so great. This fic (and series) is a romp and it will leave you with a giant grin. Also the smut is GREAT.

Butterscotch series by robotboy:

Notes: Another verse that has such Personality!! I love the Butterscotch boys so much, they are very distinct in my head. This series has a little bit of everything and covers some hard topics while also containing fluff, smut, and sidesplitting comedy. Just, top tier.

Summary: ‘Everyone ignores me! I’m a barista!’

Of John Silver, useless bisexual, and James Flint, Deaf coffee addict.

High Stakes by magicbubblepipe:

Summary: The ring doesn’t vanish into thin air, no matter how fervently he wishes it to. His heart is pounding now, an uncomfortable squirming feeling starting in his gut. What the fuck did he do? But if he’s wearing a wedding band then...no. No fucking way.

OR

Flint goes to Vegas and wakes up married to Silver. Oops.

Notes: This is a WIP, and I don’t normally read WIPs so this is a big compliment that I’m following this in real time! 

It's very funny with some good deep character moments and uhhhhh PIPING SCORCHING BRAINMELTING HOT smut. With accompanying illustrations from the author who is also a fantastic artist!

Indisposition series by beanarie:

Summary: On a different day, Flint would say Silver doesn't have a shining best.

Notes: London criminals verse! This series gave me some complicated emotions and deals with heavy subject material. But I love it to pieces, be ready to Weepppp tho.

ya filthy animals by vowelinthug:

Summary: Flint and Silver could be rulers of an illegal organization, major mob bosses, kingpins, criminal masterminds, etc.

But then they could also be petty shoplifters who like to drink during the day and fool around on their houseboat.

Notes: What it says on the tin! This is a good little story for the holidays, b/c the boys are finding gifts for each other. Also it’s a laugh riot :D

all things just keep getting better by lacecat:

Summary: John Silver - thirty-five, lives in Savannah. Works at an environment/sustainability NGO, and he’s an amateur home brewer. Nominated by his friend Logan-something, who works with him.

“Oh, he’s got these curls,” Eleanor says from the front passenger seat, squinting at the photo she’s pulled up on her phone. “He’s definitely your type, Flint.”

“No,” Flint says automatically, from where he’s wedged in the backseat between Max and Muldoon. “He brews his own beer, and he admits it.”

“I think that’s an admirable, hip hobby to have,” Eleanor says, flashing a bright smile to the camera attached to their windshield, the one that has a tiny Queer Eye sticker just above the lens. Next to her, Anne squints as she presses one of the buttons over the crackly radio.

Notes: Queer Eye au! Silver has parrots! Flint is a chef! Yeah this is also UPROARIOUSLY funny with some sneaky feelings in there. 

Some Like It Hotter by ElDiablito_SF:

Summary: Flint and Thomas escape from the city to the wine country to settle down and get away from the world. But a pool boy named John Silver is a lot more than either one of them expected to find in their semi-retirement.

Notes: Uhhh, wellllll boy toy Silver with Flintham. It’s so... so hot. There are cock cages. Yes.

Rockstars with Poodles by ElDiablito_SF, The Mighty Porthos:

Summary: Flint’s the rockstar. When the coolest rockstar wants to be your friend, no matter what you said about it before, he kind of goes like “Yeah, I’m gonna be buddies with him. The coolest rockstar in pirate town." - Luke Arnold

HE SAID IT. WE WROTE IT.

Notes: Rockstar Flint and rabid fan Silver, and poodles! Seriously this author is so funny and has the wildest AU ideas. I enjoy every one of them. This story is a romp with good smut.

leave the lights on by natlet:

Summary: John Silver tries to run a con.

(alternate buzzfeed title: "James Flint wears dad shorts, YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!")

Notes: Reincarnation au! They meet again in modern times, inexplicably drawn to each other and slowly regain their memories. 

stop painting flowers (and hold them instead) by Ravenheart:

Summary: "How big is the bed?" He asked, calculating how much space he could hope for between them. It was a dangerous thing, to conjure the mental image of them lying side by side.

She seemed amused by the question. "King size bed. I'm sure you'll find it suitably spacious."

Suitably tortuous, more like. What a simple way to ask to get hurt. There was probably a romcom somewhere out there involving such a scenario; too bad Silver's life wasn’t meant for happy endings.(Written for the Silverflint Summer Challenge.)

Notes: Silver is the assistant to Flint’s boss and he’s in love with him. And they’re on a business trip with only one bed! Adorable.

The Bitchelor by ElDiablito_SF, The Mighty Porthos:

Summary: Eleanor Guthrie needs a new boyfriend for her Hot Gay Dad. And her career needs a pick me up. Fortunately, a certain reality TV offer promises to solve both problems at once. But can Flint cope with the stresses of reality TV... and eleven men vying for his favor?

Notes: Self-explanatory Bachelor AU. This is so funny it makes me scream laugh. LOTS OF SEX.

so slide over here by brinnanza, jaynovz:

Summary: It’s not though, not really. He’s only been officially dating Flint for a couple of months, but really, Silver had known the truth of himself from the moment he’d told Vane’s man no. He’s had plenty of time since then to adjust to being a subject of public scrutiny, a one-legged creature to scorn and ridicule; this shouldn’t be any different. It shouldn’t matter.

“I’ll do better,” Silver promises, even as he still wrings his hands under the table. “I’ll get better at this.” It’s the least Flint deserves after everything.

Flint rubs at his beard thoughtfully, surveying Silver like he’s some kind of puzzle. “I have an idea,” he says after a moment. “If you’re amenable, that is. A sort of… official coming out event.”

Notes: Hi, of course I’m reccing our fic! We’re good at it. :D Yeah so, Club Date with the boys, Silver trying to get more comfortable as a queer man, and background heist au. Featuring lots of making fun of clothing disaster Silver, sexy dancing, and Captain Flint the cat.

the sweetest devotion, hitting me like an explosion by brinnanza, jaynovz:

Summary: Across the street from his shop, perched on the low half wall in front of a nondescript high rise of offices, there is a man playing acoustic guitar. Well, playing is a word for it anyway; it sounds as if the man has just picked up the instrument for the first time today. It’s all clumsy chord changes and out of tune twanging, but that on its own would probably be at least tolerable. Flint’s street is usually quiet, but he’s no stranger to buskers; the more populated streets are full of them when the weather is nice.

No, the thing that really ties the scene together is the bird.

--

Aka the Street Performer Silver/Baker Flint rom com

Notes: Yes, another one. We like mod au. This is Cupcakes, where grumpy ass baker Flint wants street performer Silver and his loud parrot to just gtfo. I love this verse with my whole heart and soul and I’m super proud. The BrinnJay magnum opus. 💜

don’t you hear me howling babe by brinnanza, jaynovz:

Summary: Silver butts his head against Thomas’s hand, huffing impatiently for attention, so Thomas removes his hand entirely. In response, Silver abandons the floor in favor of climbing bodily into Thomas’s lap. He fists his hands in Thomas’s sweater, an azure handknit that had been a gift from James, and pulls, hauling himself up so his face, handsome and smirking, almost meets Thomas’s. His mouth is pink and wet and nearly tempting, especially when his tongue darts out to try for a lick.

But Thomas unwinds Silver’s hands from his sweater and shoves. He cages Silver in with his knees to control his descent so he lands on the pet bed rather than the hardwood, but Silver still turns a wounded look up at him.

“Behave yourself,” Thomas says, letting irritation color his voice. It’s not entirely feigned; Thomas had rather hoped for another hour or so of tranquility before Silver began his antics.

Notes: Yes, yes, yes a third. I told you we like modern au ALL RIGHT. This is just absolutely purely 8k of sappy kinky smut. Petplay with domestic bliss ot4 of Thomas/Flint/Silver/Madi. Written for Beach Blanket Black Sails 2021.

The Visitor by mycapeisplaid:

Summary: After exploring everything he could in Bali, Thomas decided it was once again time to check in on his man. Last time he saw him, James was in a bad state. He had stopped masturbating and was living on Hot Pockets, a far cry from the fiery ginger stud he used to be. Thomas would see what he could do. James was way too fine a man, in all regards, to spend the rest of his earthly life alone.

Notes: This has Ghost Thomas who only Silver can see so Thomas asks Silver to act as a go-between with his husband, James. Things get.... complicated.

I think God was there by depugnare:

Summary: God is love, and I am a man of God.

So he walks forward and puts his hands on Flint’s shoulders and says “God has not abandoned you.”

And what he means is “You still have me.”

Notes: Exorcist au, very intense, super well-done concept.

Swords and Sand by i_ship_an_armada:

Summary: James Flint has been drawn to the abandoned inn in Bristol since he was a child, never understanding why he should care about an old building in such a state of disrepair.

When he has a chance to spend two weeks staying in the newly renovated inn after he retires from the Royal British Navy, James’ life is never the same again after he meets the handsome owner, John Silver.

Notes: The quintessential reincarnation AU. Both lads are drawn back to the same inn and fall in love all over again. An emotional rollercoaster with a happy ending.

Your Hips, Your Lips, Your Skin On Mine by Magnetism_bind:

Summary: Flint's model cancels on him for his last class of the semester. Fortunately Max has a friend who might be able to step in.

Everything seems fine and dandy until Flint sets eyes on the model.

Notes: Model Silver, artist and art teacher Flint :D This is also set around Christmas.

Disconnect by QueerCrusader:

Summary: John has an Instagram account. And it’s a fucking popular one too, he’s proud to admit. He hates the word influencer, but, yeah. He’s got 35,000 followers and has been sponsored twice. However, out of his 35k followers, there is only one he really speaks to: a certain @captainflint. He and Flint have never met in real life, but that doesn't stop John from falling head over heels. Is he in way over his head? Probably. Is he gonna stop self-indulging? Absolutely not. This can really only go a few ways...

Notes: Content creator/influencer Silver, long distance relationship. This is WIP but VERY worth reading. It’s a whole Journey.

gonna need a bigger boat by lacecat:

Summary: “You really want to say that, when you’re sitting across from a man who lost his leg to a shark?”

Flint scoffs. "There is no way a shark took your leg!"

"Of course not," Silver says, smirking. After he draws the silence out, for what feels appropriately dramatic enough period of time, he adds, "It was two sharks."

Notes: Jaws AU! This is hilarious with SURPRISE FEELINGS. 

Lift by Magnestism_bind:

Summary: Flint's just trying to work out in peace. Silver needs some help trying to get another guy at the gym to notice him. Naturally he enlists Flint's help.

Notes: Silver trying to get Flint’s attention in the gym. Heheheh. That good good smut.

Sugar by faobhar:

Summary: Of all the contingencies Flint planned for while charting the course of his revenge, Silver was never one of them.

Notes: Heist au with fake relationship! Starts out so so funny with grumpy Flint but gets Intense. Basically a mapover from canon. Oh uhhh sugar daddy vibes XD Happy ending.

set my soul on fire by WeeBeastie:

so viva las vegas

Summary: i'm gonna keep on the run,

gonna have me some fun,

if it costs me my very last dime

[an ocean's 11-style heist au for the 2018 silverflint big bang]

Notes: Flint gets out of jail and the boys immediately plan another heist. Very hot sex, daddy kink, and shenanigans.

Noir verse by vowelinthug:

Summary: Flint has his gun drawn and raised before he even finishes turning around. He sees a dark alley, nestled nice and cozy between a closed soda parlor and a closed drugstore. The closest lamp is lit two doors down, but between that and the moon he can see a couple trash cans and shadows. But you don’t get to live as long as James Flint had without being able to tell between a shadow and a shadow.

Notes: Absolutely delightful AU. Gritty sexy fun with SURPRISE DEPTH AND FEELINGS as usual. I just love this author to pieces.

did the twin flame bruise paint you blue by jaynovz:

Summary: A few people milling about in the center dance floor migrate towards the bar, and suddenly through the crowd Silver spots him. The person he’s both hoped and feared to see the entire evening.

James Flint stands not fifty feet away from Silver, chatting with Eleanor, his mouth quirked in a half smile as she says something amusing. There’s no fanfare or drama or some grand entrance like Silver has been conjuring in his mind over and over again… No, Flint is suddenly just here, winked back into existence, careening into Silver’s life. Silver has not seen him in a year, (barring the weak moments obsessively checking Flint’s rarely updated social media), and now Flint is right across the room.

Notes: Nicknamed Break Up AU, loosely adapted from the ten minute version of the song All Too Well. Artist!Flint and Actor!Silver meet and fall in love in NYC during the winter, entering into a whirlwind romance. Inevitably they have a devastating break up, and then meet up nearly a year later to restart the cycle all over again. This was an exercise in big character moments as shown through sex scenes, therefore there is a veritable buffet of different types of sexual encounters, definitely the most powerplay and varied kink exploration I have done by density, and also the most sophisticated/complicated. It features my favorite Flavor of desperate sub!Silver and possessive Dom!Flint heavily, though some role reversal surprises await you as well. Features a non-linear narrative and ambiguous ending.

[bluewinnerangel]

From The Dining Table x Brokeback Mountain

!! Huge Brokeback Mountain Spoilers ahead !!

Since I said some stuff a bit about this yesterday and got some questions to explain a bit more I thought I'd dedicate a post to it.

SoooOOooo this is about From The Dining Table maybe being not so much autobiographical, not in the literal sense at least although mans gotta resonate with it otherwise why make a whole song about it right, but could be from the perspective of Jack in the movie / short story Brokeback Mountain and I think he might have done the same with TBSL and The Notebook as well.

FTDT (as well as Sweet Creature) sounds like it's coming straightno gay out of the Brokeback Mountain Soundtrack, explained here. Especially the tracks "The Wings" and "Brokeback Mountain 2" (that melody bit around "even my phone misses your call by the way" is just.. a copy). And yep that's the pretty big hint there, that's why I'm connecting these dots and not brushing off the coincidoinkies because you know these lyrics are not THAT specific, but combine it with the similarities in terms of sound too and welp hmmmmm

FTDT lyric breakdown x Brokeback Mountain under the cut:

In the movie, go watch it if you haven't, go read the short story if you haven't, Jack and Ennis fall in love on Brokeback Mountain and uh continue to not know how to quit each other. They both understand it's not safe to attempt to live a life together, Ennis doesn't even consider it but Jack still wants it, tries to talk about it, but it never happens. Most of their life they're silent about their feelings, they just love each other deeply yet continue to live their lives with a wife and kids, but still they can't stay away from each other and for 20 years they continue to have these "fishing trips" together and find ways to see each other. Ennis stays very conflicted about his feelings and doesn't so much own up to them as Jack does. He's a man of very few words (under the pretence of comfortable silence) and it drives Jack insane. They drink a lot, they feel alone and uncool, don't seem to call, but miss each other like crazy...

Some bits from the short story:

“How much is once in a while?” said Jack. “Once in a while ever four fuckin years?”

“No,” said Ennis, forbearing to ask whose fault that was. “I goddam hate it that you’re goin a drive away in the mornin and I’m goin back to work. But if you can’t fix it you got a stand it,” he said. “Shit. I been lookin at people on the street. This happen a other people? What the hell do they do?”

Or Jacks dialogue when he finally breaks about.. everything:

"I'll tell you what. We could have had a good life together. Fucking real good life. Had us a place of our own! But you didn't want it, Ennis. So what we got now is Brokeback Mountain! Everything's built on that! That's all we got, boy. Fucking all. So I hope you know that, if you don't never know the rest! You count the damn few times... that we have been together in nearly 20 years... and you measure the short fucking leash you keep me on... and then you ask me about Mexico and you tell me you'll kill me... for needin' somethin' I don't hardly never get! You have no idea how bad it gets! And I'm not you! I can't make it... on a couple of high-altitude fucks once or twice a year! You are too much for me, Ennis. You son of a whoreson bitch! I wish I knew how to quit you!"

And Ennis' reply:

Then why don't you? Why don't you just let me be, huh? It's because of you, Jack, that I'm like this. I'm nothin'. I'm nowhere.

So then yeah uh FTDT:

Woke up alone in this hotel room,

Played with myself, where were you? Fell back to sleep, I got drunk by noon,

I've never felt less cool

Loneliness, where are you, can't make it on a couple of high-altitude fucks a few times a year, played with myself, but need you, I'm struggling, I'm drinkin, I'm nothing, I'm nowhere. ~it's all of the above~

Some more bits from the short story:

“We herded sheep on Brokeback one summer,” said Ennis. He could hardly speak.

“Well, he said it was his place. I thought he meant to get drunk. Drink whiskey up there. He drank a lot.”

We haven't spoke since you went away,

Comfortable silence is so overrated,

Why won't you ever be the first one to break?

Even my phone misses your call, by the way

This fits Jacks feelings towards Ennis. Ennis doesn't talk. Jack seems to be ok with this silence most of the time, but really does love it a whole lot more when Ennis does talk. This after he tells Jack something personal, Jack lights up and Ennis is like bropal what:

Jack: Man, that's more words than you've spoke in the past two weeks. Ennis: Hell, that's the most I've spoke in a year.

And also as mentioned earlier, Jack is the first one to break. Ennis seems to suffer too, but he never breaks, not in front of Jack before Jack does at least.

I saw your friend that you know from work

He said you feel just fine

"He said you feel just fine" can be a way of saying to just drop it, and in the movie Jack visits their employer that had sent them off to Brokeback Mountain the next year, and asks him about Ennis. To which he doesn't get a satisfying answer whatsoever either (thank @swimmingleo ):

Boss: Well, look what the wind blew in. Jack: I was wonderin' if you was needin' any help this summer. Boss: You're wastin' your time here. Jack: What, you ain't got nothin'? Nothin' up on Brokeback? Boss: I ain't got no work for you. Jack: Ennis Del Mar ain't been around, has he? Boss: You boys sure found a way to make the time pass up there. Twist... you guys wasn't gettin' paid to leave the dogs baby-sit the sheep... while you stemmed the rose. Now get the hell out of my trailer.

I see you gave him my old t-shirt

More of what was once mine

In the end the only thing Ennis has of Jack is his old shirt. And discovers this whole time, Jack had his.

Copying a big chunk of the short story again really just go read the whole story instead:

At the north end of the closet a tiny jog in the wall made a slight hiding place and here, stiff with long suspension from a nail, hung a shirt. He lifted it off the nail. Jack’s old shirt from Brokeback days. The dried blood on the sleeve was his own blood, a gushing nosebleed on the last afternoon on the mountain when Jack, in their contortionistic grappling and wrestling, had slammed Ennis’s nose hard with his knee. He had stanched the blood, which was everywhere, all over both of them, with his shirtsleeve, but the stanching hadn’t held, because Ennis had suddenly swung from the deck and laid the ministering angel out in the wild columbine, wings folded. The shirt seemed heavy until he saw there was another shirt inside it, the sleeves carefully worked down inside Jack’s sleeves. It was his own plaid shirt, lost, he’d thought, long ago in some damn laundry, his dirty shirt, the pocket ripped, buttons missing, stolen by Jack and hidden here inside Jack’s own shirt, the pair like two skins, one inside the other, two in one. He pressed his face into the fabric and breathed in slowly through his mouth and nose, hoping for the faintest smoke and mountain sage and salty sweet stink of Jack, but there was no real scent, only the memory of it, the imagined power of Brokeback Mountain of which nothing was left but what he held in his hands.

I see it's written, it's all over his face

Everyone can tell. Nothing is said. But everyone just knows these two had ~a special bond~. Especially Jack's parents when Ennis visits their home in the end and finds that shirt.

Maybe one day you'll call me and tell me that you're sorry too

Maybe one day you'll call me and tell me that you're sorry too

Maybe one day you'll call me and tell me that you're sorry too But you, you never do

Maybe one day [...]... maybe one day... I have hope that maybe one day... but in the end. I realise it's not gonna happen -> Jack keeps hoping that maybe one day they'll live their lives together, but Ennis never lets them go there, doesn't see it as an option, he just stays silent. But in the end Jack knows where they stand, or he's always known I guess, he lets it be... The last thing we read from Jack's perspective in the short story:

Later, that dozy embrace solidified in his memory as the single moment of artless, charmed happiness in their separate and difficult lives. Nothing marred it, even the knowledge that Ennis would not then embrace him face to face because he did not want to see or feel that it was Jack he held. And maybe, he thought, they’d never got much farther than that. Let be, let be.

Woke up the girl who looked just like you I almost said your name

They're both with a family, with wives / girlfriends. I don't think there's a girl who looks just like the other, or any mention of almost saying each others names or anything, might have missed it tho I mean the rest checks out aksdjaslk. The closest maybe parallel-ish I could think of is a call between Ennis and Jacks wife:

“Jack used to mention you,” she said. “You’re the fishing buddy or the hunting buddy, I know that. Would have let you know,” she said, “but I wasn’t sure about your name and address. Jack kept most a his friends’ addresses in his head.

So.... yeah....

OK EDIT BECAUSE I MADE @larrysballetslippers VERY ANGERY because this didn't have a good ending so:

RAMBLE TIME

All that

does not mean the story of Brokeback Mountain and all its details mirror Harry's real life. IF any of this was on purpose even. He clearly loves and has referenced other movies too, like The Notebook and Papillon and those aren't copies of his life either. It just doesn't mean he's Jack in every way and Louis is exactly Ennis and the part where Ennis is showing resistance to their love must mean Louis is doing the same or whatever.

This post was just to show the parallels and you can draw whatever conclusion you want from that, but please just be aware Harry's not in control of every detail in this movie LOL and IF this song really just is a Brokeback Mountain fanpiece doesn't mean he's into exactly how this movie plays out because he's living the exact real life version in every single way. (I fear we're gonna run into these same thoughts once My Policeman is out, thaaat's gonna be fun)

If anything, this whole analysis came to be because the details in this song, in my view, do not fit Harry and Louis' descriptions of their love and dynamics and what they've been through in most of their other songs.

This analysis was larry-free and now look what you made me do @larrysballetslippers .... well. Although it did have a larry cowboy gif in the beginning asldkjaskldja AHHH WELLL

For more like this

This post has a drunk twin: a masterpost with all them Harry x Brokeback Mountain cOiNcIdEnCeS

my other song analyses

Brokeback Mountain short story

[redinkrain]

Beautiful madness.

1.

Waverly left the Vera-Vaughn-Greenwood manor moments later, promising Abby to reach out as soon as her daughter was in safety and that she gathered some more information on the artifact Abigael was looking for.

It let an odd feeling in the Demon Overlord mind, like a blur she couldn’t quite figured out. After a lifetime of loneliness, hatred and resentment, here she was, making plan with her long lost sister to burglarize the only antique allowing her to restore Macy’s fire power. A step closer to her long journey to redemption.

Will she even get there someday?

Lost in her own torturous thoughts, the British Lady didn’t hear the witch that changed her whole perspective, talking to her.

“Abby?” Mel repeated, a concerned frown marking her face.

No answer. So the witch held out her hand and took one of Abigael’s in her own trying again “Abby, are you okay?”

It worked. The Demon Overlord seemed to get out of her hypnotic state, looking at their joined hands. Eyes fascinated; like it was the most precious thing in the world. Suddenly something must have clicked in her because in a movement of panic she brutally let go of Mel’s hand and took two steps back.

“Have this unannounced pregnancy made you lost your mind as well as your memory? What about theallergy, Mel?” Abby asked in an irritated tone but the concern was crystal clear for the Vera sister.

Mel voice was soft when she simply replied “Shush it, demon spawn!”.She then closed the distance between them and took both of Abigael’s hands in hers. “See? Baby and I are good! Don’t worry.” Her smile grew some more at Abby’s awe.

“But- How?” it was so quiet that Mel almost missed it.

“I’m not really sure, but it must be the baby.”

Abigael said nothing. Eyes glued to their hands as their fingers intertwined. They stayed silent for some times. Abby didn’t dare to move an inch, a bit scared that the moment might end. For her part, Mel attentively observed The Demon Overlord’s expression the entire time. She would be lying if she said that nothing in her was liking the way Abby was looking so adoringly at their joined hands. But then, their eyes locked and Abigael had that same look on her face than the one she had when Mel asked her if she was doing this just to make amends with Macy. They were telling more than what Abby was actually able or willing to say. In that instant, everything around them ceased to exist. They were so close that Mel’s round belly touched the half-demon half-witch front. Abby wouldn’t do anything unless she was certain of Mel’s consent and for now she wouldn’t ask…

Minutes passed by and still, they were looking at each, like it was the first time they actually saw one another. Without fuss. Without judgment. Mel’s heartbeat went crazy, she couldn’t clearly figured out what it was that made her breathless, but she let herself be lost in those hazel eyes that she learned to appreciate more than she should have.

Stuck, neither of the two women knew how to act around each other in this private moment, so Abby decided to crack a snarky remark to ease whatever was going on.

“Careful there Potion Princess, one might think that you want to steal a kiss from The Demon Overlord!” Abigael said on that tone that drove Mel mad. So she rolled her eyes in exasperation, but kept her hands firmly in the British Lady ones. Then a smirk appeared on her lips when she just retorted to that flirty comment with a sultry tone.

“What if it’s exactly what I want to do?”

She then started to caress Abby’s knuckles softly while The Demon Overlord lost her voice once again. She just kept those eyes on Mel’s, more piercing than ever. And Mel finally get what Abigael meant by “I care deeply about her” when the truth serum kicked in at her trial… Just like that, her heart stopped beating at the realization. Abigael didn’t care about her in a weird frenemy way. No. It was deeper. She cared about her in a romantic way. Everything kind of fell in place. “Our child”resonated in her head. How could she missed it? The change in the woman behavior before her, how she just stopped having one night stands and orgy with Susans. Yes, plural. How didn’t she saw it sooner? How her relationship with Abigael Jameson-Caine had grown and how close they had become.

After all, a few hours back, she confessed to the woman how scared of failing her baby she was. And in all of her softness Abigael find the right words to wipe away her doubts. She didn’t laugh, didn’t used this knowledge to make a sarcastic comment. She just comforted her.

And now Mel’s mind went crazy. Loaded with questions she didn’t wanted to acknowledge till now. What did she felt for the half-witch half-demon herself?

She cared about her, a lot. A lot more than she thought she actually did. But Ruby. Mel loved Ruby. They had been through so much and still, they were together. Stronger than ever. That was what the witch was thinking. What she was feeling. And yet, she couldn’t stopped herself to wonder who was the baby’s other mother?

Abigael kept her lips sealed at first, but after some times she titled her head slightly to the side a bit worried about Mel’s own thoughts.

“Are you alright Angry Spice?” gently tightening the hands in hers.

Mel took one last look in The Demon Overlord’s eyes and give her a small smile before letting go of her grip on Abigael, who already missed the contact she craved.

“Yeah. I’m a bit tired I guess with, you know, the baby, the demon, meeting your sister.” It wasn’t a lie, she was kind of exhausted of the day, but it wasn’t the entire truth.

“If I had known about your impromptu pregnancy Mel, I would not have come bothering you asking for your assistance when danger was involved. I swear.” The hybrid stated embarrassed.

“I know Abby. As you said at the door earlier, my sisters and I are usually the ones running to you for help. I’m glad you came and trusted me enough to introduce me to your sister and let me help you.” The Latina responded. “And, for what it worth, I’m proud of you Abby.”

“It worth more than you know.” Abigael smiled with her eyes. “I should go and let you rest then. You are, after all, bearing a tiny human in that belly of yours. Thank you again, for you help. I’ll see you Potion Princess”.

The Demon Overlord started phase-shifting when Mel gently wrapped her fingers around Abigael’s left wrist. She blocked her power and waited patiently for Mel to pursue what she had on her mind.

“Thank you for the crib and for those things you said about me having what it takes to be a good mom.” Mel really appreciated this reassurance the hybrid provided her.

“Well, you have nothing to thank me for. It’s all you Melanie.” She winked at the Vera witch and disappeared in a dark smoke.

Mel stayed in the middle of the room, closed her eyes, and let out a breath she didn’t remember holding back.

*****************

That night, Mel hadn’t slept a minute. Sure, when her sisters came home and told her all about The Whispering Evil, her freak out level went high. But if she was being honest with herself (which she usually is) her mind was preoccupied by all the questions she had about a certain brunette. “Ugh! Damn you Abigael Jameson-Caine!” she muffled in her pillow. She decided to go to the kitchen and for a drink, maybe that Valerian tea Waverly highly recommended her.

Then cup in hands, the witch sat on the couch in the living room. The one Abby slept on, when her demonic form tried to get rid of her. Sighing for thinking yet again of The Demon Overlord, the Vera witch took her phone and looked at the time. 3:00 AM. “How fitting!” she exhaled. She quickly taped a text to her girlfriend. Thirty minutes later, Ruby still hadn’t responded. “I guess some have less troubles to find sleep than others” Mel spoke a bit bored. Before she could changed her mind and against her better judgment, the witch decided to text Abigael.

3:33 AM – Potion Princess : Are you awake?

A minute later, dots appeared on Mel’s screen indicating that the hybrid was typing.

3:34 AM – Demon Spawn : No. I am actually asleep.

Mel rolled her eyes and cracked a smile at this response.

3:35 AM – Potion Princess : So… How are you able to answer my text if you’re asleep?

3:35 AM – Demon Spawn : My subconscious is especially productive at this time of night.

3:35 AM – Demon Spawn : I had some business to attend actually. Why are you awake?

3:36 AM – Potion Princess : Business? In the middle of the night? I can’t sleep.

3:36 AM – Demon Spawn : The perks of being The Demon Overlord if I may say. Is everything alright? Is our baby keeping you up that late?

The witch scrutinized her screen for a good minute, particularly those two words “our baby”. Again, Mel’s heart just stopped beating in her chest and she felt her cheeks burning. She debated with herself on how to answer properly.

3:38 AM – Potion Princess : Well, you’re the one that claimed the title… So, suck it up and deal with it! ;). Our baby uh? How did you come by this conclusion? But no, it’s not the baby that keeps me from sleeping. I just got a lot on my mind I guess.

Abby’s text was nothing but fast.

3:38 AM – Demon Spawn : You’re so sarcastic at this hour of the night. It’s quite delightful. Is there something you want to talk about? Maybe I can be of some sorts of assistance?

Mel didn’t missed how Abigael just eluded a part of her text.

3:40 AM – Potion Princess : You should go to bed. It’s late and your day was longer than mine apparently...

3:40 AM – Demon Spawn : Nonsense.

And just like that, Abigael appeared in the middle of the Vera-Vaughn-Greenwood living room, wearing a black trousers and a garnet satin shirt with a cleavage that left not much to imagination. Her hair were impeccable (as usual), and she wear those discrete gold hearings. She was still wearing her make-up. Mel glanced at her guest a little too long to go unnoticed by Abigael who just smirked at her when sitting next to the witch.

“So Velma Dinkley, what in that little head of yours prevents you to fall asleep?” Abby asked softly.

Melanie Vera rarely panicked at the thought of talking about feelings. Not with her sisters. Not with Harry. Not with Ruby. Ruby her girlfriend if she hadn’t mentioned it. But now, in front of one Abigael Jameson-Caine, she would gladly take off in a heartbeat. Also, she knew that if she wasn’t having this conversation, she’ll be self-deprived of sleep for the rest of her life. So, here she was…

“You, actually.” She confessed when meeting the half-demon half-witch eyes.

Abigael’s smirk was so infuriating, Mel already knew what was coming for her next.

“Having naughty thoughts about us?” Abby couldn’t bring herself to not take the bait on this one which just made her host rolled her eyes even more exasperatedly.

“Abby! Can you stop please. I’m trying to have a serious conversation here.” the Latina said. Because having this particular talk at almost 4 in the morning was the responsible thing to do. Good job, Mel.

The British Lady took one look into the Vera sister eyes to know that this conversation was important to her. So, she clenched her jaw, and silently promised herself to do her best.

“I apologize. What about me, Potion Princess?” She asked curiously facing the Charmed One.

“We never spoke about what you said during the trial…” Damn it! She completely sucked at starting this topic.

“Oh, you mean when Perky Peanut gave me truth serum against my will and so forced me to answer truthfully at questions I would have rather lied about?” A hint of resentment was obvious in her tone.

Mel put a hand on Abigael’s forearm to soothe her. It seemed to work, because the hybrid closed her eyes for a second before pursuing.

“I imagine you want to have a conversation about what I said about you, isn’t it?” She didn’t dare to look at Mel.

“Yes.” the witch whispered. “Did you meant what you said?”

Abby laughed at that. It wasn’t a full laugh, but still, the Latina hadn’t heard her guest laughed a lot.

“Mel, you do know how truth serum works, right?” The British Lady furrowed her brow in question.

“Yeah I do, but you know what I meant.” Melanie replied as if the question was crystal clear.

“So, what you truly asked was if I still mean it right now?” Really, she guessed her best.

The witch only nodded in approval.

“Well, in all honesty, it is a question that is hard to answer to.” The Demon Overlord observed Mel’s reaction.

“How come?” Mel simply asked, when she could heard the frantic beating of her heart in her chest.

Abigael gave her a small smile, one that would be imperceptible for a stranger.

“I do not know any words that would reflect what you mean to me, Melanie.” Again, the witch heart skipped a beat at the use of her first name. “I do not know when neither do I know how you became such an important part of my life but every chance I get to spend time with you I learn to know why.” She paused to gather her thoughts. “So yes, Melanie Vera, I care deeply about you. More than I ever cared about anyone to this day. Really, I just want you to be healthy, to be happy.” Mel sat still, incapable of breathing, too struck by Abby’s confession, by the vulnerability that she was showing to her. Speechless. “And, don’t be mistaken, I expect nothing from you. I would not dream of it. I know my place and how unworthy I am to ever be a part of your happiness. I woul-”.

The half-demon half-witch was cut off by a pair of lips on her own. Surprised, she closed her eyes and kissed Mel back. It was gentle, like caressing velour for the first time. They were both afraid that the moment was in fact a dream. Then the witch place a final peck on Abby’s lips before retreating.

“Sorry, I didn’t asked for you consent.” Mel whispered.

“For this? You always have it.” Abby replied softly. “Will my answer be of any help?”

“I’m sure it will. Thank you for being honest.” The Vera sister replied, even though she wanted to say more.

“Alright, I leave you to it then. Have a good night, Melanie.” The British Lady focused on Mel’s eyes.

“Goodnight, Abigael. And again, thank you.” The which said just before a cloud of dark smoke made her guest disappeared.

Mel didn’t slept better after that. Her lips haunted by Abby’s and the taste of her tongue against hers.

It’s 8 AM sharp when she got a text from Ruby. And then, a storm was raging within the witch heart.

[voiceless-terror]

Recognition

@aspecarchivesweek Day Five: Something New

Jonathan Sims/Martin Blackwood, Season One

In which Jon and Martin are more alike than they thought.

Jon, in spite of himself, was starting to get used to Martin living in the Archives.

Offering him shelter had been almost instinctual- after listening to his story, who wouldn’t? Terrorized for almost two weeks and no one, no one noticed. There was also the matter of Jon’s guilt; Martin thought he needed to put himself in danger to be thorough, to please Jon, and now he was homeless. Jon owed him this at the very least. No matter how much Elias disapproved of the situation.

And despite the occasional trouser-less wanderings, his presence was...appreciated. Late nights in the Archives were wearing him down: the statements were getting to him, and the unshakeable feeling of being watched when he knew he was alone was putting him on edge. Now he can blame that feeling on Martin, who he’d caught staring on more than one occasion. Jon was not surprised; he hadn’t been looking or feeling his best, highly unprofessional with his three-day stubble and rumpled clothes. Not a good look.

He’d be lying to himself if he didn’t enjoy the cup of tea when Martin joined him in his worst bouts of insomnia. He would sit on the tiny couch in his office, nursing his own mug and chattering away in a low tone that Jon was starting to find soothing instead of irritating. At first Jon clammed up, uncomfortable with the sudden intrusion on his late night routine, but he soon found Martin didn’t expect him to respond or contribute, save the occasional grunt of acknowledgement. Sometimes Jon even craved the company, the familiar rhythms of Martin’s voice had become an unconscious comfort. 

Tonight he was looking particularly exhausted, slumped in his seat with deep purple bags under his eyes. It sent an unwelcome pang through Jon’s chest; Martin should be sleeping, not entertaining him because he chose to stay late. He said as much.

“You don’t have to stay up on my part.”

“Hm?” Martin looked up from his lap, eyes finding Jon’s. “Oh, no. It’s fine. I like the company, to be honest. Unless…?”

“I don’t mind,” Jon assured him. Shockingly, he found he meant it. Still, it didn’t ease his guilt. Martin was always here, never leaving the Archives for more than an hour to get food or other necessities. He considered his next words. “That being said, I hope you know you’re allowed to have a life outside of the institute. I won’t judge if you want to have a...late night, or go out. It’s not my business what you do in your free time.”

Martin squinted his eyes as if he didn’t understand the words Jon spoke. Christ, do I really seem that out of touch? He knew he could be severe and well, a bit of an ass at times. The stress of the job got to him more than he cared to admit. But he didn’t want his assistants to think they should follow his example. He was Head Archivist, it fell on his shoulders to get this place in some semblance of order. 

“I’m not really one for nights out, Jon,” Martin gave that familiar, self-deprecating laugh as he leaned back in his chair, an almost defeated-like set to his shoulders. “Well, besides the occasional drink with Tim and Sasha. And even those are sort of...I don’t know. They have their own thing going, and I feel like-”

“A bit of an outsider,” Jon provided before he could activate his ‘word to mouth’ filter. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to imply-”

“No,” Martin cut him off. “You’re right. Feels like I’m intruding.”

“Their banter can be overwhelming for the, ah, uninitiated.” On the few times he’d gone out with them in research, he’d felt more lonely than included. His awkward attempts at interjecting could make a conversation fall flat and he felt the need to accept every drink they handed in him the hopes of ‘loosening up.’ It never worked. They were never mean about it, no- or at least had the decency not to do it in his presence. 

“Tell me about it.” Martin gave Jon a tiny little smirk that sent his heart stuttering in his chest for no particular reason. “I’m used to it, is all. This isn’t much of a change in routine, worms notwithstanding.”

“You, er, don’t have friends you can meet up with? Or maybe a partner?” Christ, why am I prying? What’s gotten into me? Jon felt curious, the man practically lived with him and yet he barely knew him.

The bark of laughter he got in reply was sudden and more than self-deprecating. “A partner? Are you kidding me?” Martin’s tone threw him off-balance; it was jaded, bitter, not like him at all.

“I didn’t mean to pry-”

“No, it’s- to be frank, I don’t think I’m cut out for all that.” Martin toyed with the mug in his hands, gazing into it like it held the answers he needed. “I’ve uh, tried to go on a few dates, meet people, that sort of thing. But they all expect something at the end and it just never feels right, I can’t explain it. Like there’s something missing. ”

Jon paused; the words and their sentiment were not unfamiliar to him. In fact, they resonated quite deeply, if Martin meant what Jon thought he did.

“It’s always been that way- I get a crush, I get to know them, they want to, y’know, and I-I don’t know what's wrong with me, but I can’t-” He cut himself off, sitting up straighter as if suddenly remembering where he was and who he was talking to. “God, I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m telling you this-”

“It’s fine.” And it was. Martin looked at his hands and Jon recognized the sadness in the set of his shoulders, the lines etched in his face. He never thought the two of them would have much in common but that- that was a feeling Jon knew all too well. “I think I understand what you’re getting at.”

Martin somehow managed to deflate even further, curling up as if trying to disappear. “Yeah, well- I think it’s time to admit that I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life.”

The words hit Jon harder than expected. His fists tightened in his lap; he was sixteen again, wondering why the kiss he stole in a backroom felt more invasive than intimate. He was reading romance novels, understanding the words but not the feelings they were supposed to invoke. He was in college, being called a ‘tease’ or a ‘prude’ when he pulled away at the end of the night. And it was all accompanied by that deep, crushing fear that he’d never be enough. 

No, you’re not that kid anymore. 

And Martin shouldn’t have to be either.

“What’s that look for?”

He was drawn from his thoughts at Martin’s words, looking up from the scratched wood of his desk. “Sorry?”

“You’ve- you’ve got that look on your face, like you’re const- like you’re thinking really hard.”

Jon tried to think of a way to word his query delicately, but ‘delicacy’ had never been his strong suit, according to Georgie. Come to think of it, it was never hers either. “Have you ever considered that maybe- that you’re- you’re of the persuasion, that is-”

Martin shot him a deadpan look, unimpressed. “Yeah, I know I’m gay, Jon.”

“That’s not-” He sighed in frustration, fuming at his inability to communicate. “It’s okay to not feel that way. I never have. It’s normal.”

Martin blinked. “Sorry?”

“Asexuality, that is,” he said, finally managing to get out the words. “I was...in a similar position, I guess you could say. I didn’t feel the way you were ‘supposed’ to feel, like how all the books and TV shows describe it. Zero interest in anything sexual, and I thought...well, I thought something was wrong with me.” Jon felt a lump building in his throat, much to his horror. “But being able to put a name to it, an identity, it just felt right.” Martin’s face was unreadable- had he spoken out of turn? Did he have this all wrong? 

He tried to clarify. “What I’m trying to say is that I know what it’s like, that...feeling you described. But it doesn’t mean you’re not cut out for love. You...you shouldn’t have to feel that way about yourself. You’ll find people who accept you. You’re not doomed to be lonely.” Now you’re just getting sentimental. Jon wasn’t one to dole out advice. He attempted to reign it in, get himself back on solid, familiar ground. “Maybe don’t take me for an example, though. I assure you, my isolation is very much self-imposed.”

Martin didn’t laugh. For a brief, panicky moment Jon thought he might have offended him, assumed the wrong thing, taken him out of context. But Martin met his eyes and Jon saw it- a look of dawning understanding, of comprehension and knowing and as much as Jon wanted to look away he couldn’t, because for the first time in a while he thought he might have said the right thing. 

_____

He watched as Martin puttered about in the break room and took a deep breath, straightening his shoulders. Martin hadn’t said much after their conversation, just thanked him in a choked voice and mumbled some excuse about going off to bed. Jon felt a bit conflicted- he now had time to ruminate on the conversation, pick it apart and wonder if he said anything wrong. He didn’t think he had, but his instincts had been proven wrong before.

Still, the thought of helping one person, sparing them from that crippling self-doubt and inadequacy, made any embarrassment or awkwardness well worth it. So here he was, shuffling his feet and holding a stack of paper, stapled and neat and in some cases, annotated. He cleared his throat and Martin turned away from the sink to face him.

“Oh, g-good morning, Jon.” He wiped his hands on a dish towel, throwing it lightly on the counter. “Did you sleep well?”

He’d gotten two hours tops on the lumpy couch in his office. I need to invest in another cot. But he nodded anyway, walking forward and thrusting the pile out for Martin to take. Martin looked down at it quizzically but took it all the same, his face softening as he flipped through the pages.

“I, um- I printed out some articles that I thought might be of interest,” Jon rambled, feeling more awkward by the second. Was this too forward of me? “I’ve always found it easier to read on paper instead of the screen. For ah, concentration purposes. This- this isn’t required reading, or anything. Just might be helpful for, uh, figuring things out.”

Martin didn’t look up from the pages in his hand, instead zeroing in on them with a more intense stare. When he finally spoke, his voice was tight with sincerity. “Thanks. It uh, it means a lot.”

“Yes,” Jon replied nonsensically, having no response to the emotion in Martin’s words. “You- you don’t need to talk to me about this, if you’d rather not. But I’m available if you’d like to.” He paused. Best to keep this somewhat professional- it was almost nine. “Outside of normal working hours, of course.”

“Of course,” Martin echoed, the ghost of a smile on his lips as he finally met Jon’s eyes. He fought down the urge to smile back, instead muttering an excuse and turning to flee the room. I think I’ve filled my emotional quota for the week. 

They don’t talk about it again, but a few days later a sticky note appears on his desk. Thanks- MB. Underneath the clear script he’d doodled a small flag- black, grey, white, and purple. 

Jon puts it in his right-hand drawer next to an old polaroid of the Admiral, where it stays.

ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28782318

[taetaespeaches]

“Wait, I’m nervous.”

taehyung x reader (or oc) genre: fluff word count: 1.9K

a/n: Ok, lovelies, here is just pure wholesome fluff with Tae and Peaches. They are in their own little world again, of course, and they are just feeling real in love at this point lol. Very loosely based on ‘invisible string’ by taylor swift. I hope you all enjoy and thanks for reading! :))

p.s. if you want the playlist Tae makes in this, here you are. 

HIS hands were gorgeous as he dragged the pen across the page, etching lines to form an abstract piece straight from his vibrant mind to the drawing pad. The diner, one you were well acquainted with, was relatively empty, only a few other patrons besides you and your boyfriend as you awaited your best friends’ arrival.

Jimin and his girlfriend were unsurprisingly late, and as you waited, Taehyung suddenly stopped drawing, reaching for his phone that was attached to a set of earbuds from his pocket. Holding the left bud out to you, he positioned the right one into his ear.

“I made you a playlist,” he smiled softly, a tinge of bashfulness evident in his features. Your lips curving up happily, you eagerly put the earbud into place.

“Show me,” you told him in excitement, Taehyung chuckling as he started the first song, ‘Make Out in My Car’ by Moses Sumney and Sufjan Stevens. Your boyfriend leaned over to you, leaving a sweet kiss to your shoulder before sitting back upright, returning to the drawing pad.

As you took in the lyrics, Taehyung continued sketching the simple but interesting image, you watching ever stroke of the ink. The lyrics entering your mind reminded you of the shift in yours and Taehyung’s relationship, as you skirted the lines of friendship and romance, fighting yourselves, trying not to fall in love with each other despite desperately wanting to love one another fully.

I’m not trying to go to bed with you

I just wanna make out in my car

And though I’m dying to fall in love with you

I just wanna make out in my car.

Despite the public setting, as you sat with your boyfriend listening to the music only you two could hear, it felt as though you and Taehyung were sitting in a moment of time separate from reality, isolated from the other patrons and kitchen staff. A space that was made for you.

When Taehyung entered your life, he came unannounced, all his youthful vibrancy interrupting your daily routine and changing everything forever. He was eccentric, radiating an array of colors that everyone saw, and you fell in love with them easily. If someone were to ask you what your favorite color was, you’d reply with whatever color is shining from him today. The inner-child within Taehyung inspired you, reminding you of the little girl inside yourself.

As the days turned into weeks, building up to months and accumulating into years, Taehyung was still by your side. You’d watched each other grow up, make mistakes, achieve goals. It’s not that Taehyung completed you, or you him, but life, within your little world, just seemed a little less worth living without him in it.

The song ending, Frank Ocean’s version of ‘Moon River’ started playing, you resting your head on Tae’s shoulder as you allowed the music to penetrate your heart.

My dream maker, my heartbreaker

Wherever you’re goin’, I’m goin’ the same.

How true that was. The man beside you was the one person who could both make your dreams come true, but held all the power to shatter your heart, but regardless, you were going with him wherever he went.

The song had a slow fade out, providing a nice transition into the next tune, ‘Early’ by Joy Crookes and Jafaris. The lyrics portrayed a relationship that is either doomed or is meant to be and meant to last. Much like how you and Taehyung viewed your relationship. The fear of failing as a unit plagued you for years until you and Taehyung mutually decided to take the risk.

I’m crossing borders of this friendship

You’re turning water into wine

I can’t believe it

Because, what if it works? You recalled asking him that very questioning, both of you choosing to throw caution into the wind, telling yourselves you were destined. You were either going to last forever, or it was going to crumble in front of your eyes, and you were both still aware of the risk that came with giving into your feelings. But you both decided it was worth the risk. He was worth it.

My ride or die

And I cross my heart

This is where we start when you walk my way

Left the baggage on the floor

You want us and we want more

Don’t you know I open door when you walk my way?

Lifting your head from Taehyung’s shoulder, his eyes drifted from the sketch to you, you smiling softly, matching his fond grin. “Is it ok?” He asked.

“The drawing or the playlist?” You asked, bringing your hand to his face to stroke his cheek with your knuckles.

“Uh,” he looked at the drawing for a split second before lifting his eyes to you again. “Both.”

“Both are great, baby,” you complimented. “You know what you’re doing,” you grinned, Taehyung chuckling.

“With the playlist?” He asked knowingly, both of you understanding the storyline of the songs he chose. You nodded, leaning toward Taehyung, the man dropping his head to gently rest his forehead against yours. “I can’t believe it,” he sang along with the song, moving his head a little bit to go along with the groove, you giggling at the cute action.

“Out of all the places I could have been that day,” you commented, Taehyung’s eyebrows raising as he pulled back a bit to allow his eyes to travel your face. “We could have so easily missed each other.”

“That’s crazy to think about,” he let out a breathy chuckle, his eyes falling to your hand that was resting atop his thigh. “I mean, I guess everyone we come across happens by chance, but not everyone ends up meaning so much,” he noted thoughtfully, you smiling at the comment.

As the song came to an end, Bruno Major’s ‘Easily’ starting, Taehyung wrapped his hand gently around your wrist. “If either of us had been walking by there just a few minutes, or maybe even seconds later or earlier, we would have missed each other completely,” your boyfriend realized, setting your hand on the tabletop.

Coming and going

Inside out and back to front

Oh, tangled and messy

That’s how we’ve always been and we’ll always be

And that’s alright with me

Just because it won’t come easily

Doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try.

The song added to the story line, bringing you back to the fights and the jealousy, the falling out and ignoring each other, only to always end up back together. You couldn’t quit each other, and you didn’t want to. Taehyung was the easiest yet most complicated relationship you’d ever had, and he probably always would be.

Bringing the pen to your skin, you watched as Taehyung drew a little heart on the inner edge of your wrist. “You’re cute,” you smiled, Taehyung flashing you his stunning boxy beam. The smile you’d never tire of seeing.

“Don’t look,” he told you as he prepared to add to his drawing. “I mean it,” he smiled wider, you mimicking the expression as you covered your eyes with your free hand.

Anticipating the touch of the pen against your skin, you spread your fingers apart, finding a glaring Taehyung staring at you through the slits between your digits.

“No peeking,” he whined with a giggle, you chuckling as you apologized.

“Ok, I’m sorry, I won’t peek, do your thing,” you told him recovering your eyes.

“I knew you’d do that,” he complained as the pen touched your wrist, moving over your veins.

“I promise I won’t again,” you giggled, Tae letting out a huff of feigned frustration. When ‘Easily’ ended, Ella Fitzgerald’s voice soothed through the earbud, singing ‘In A Sentimental Mood’. Your lips formed into a soft smile at the song, swaying your body gently as Taehyung completed his work on your arm.

“You can look now,” he told you, you tentatively pulling your hand from your face, looking into Tae’s warm brown orbs.

“Yeah?” You asked, not wanting to jump the gun and ruin his surprise. The man immediately turned your hand over so your wrist was against the table, you frowning at him.

“Wait,” he smiled bashfully, “I’m nervous.”

“Nervous?” You asked in surprise, smiling at him. “Why? What did you draw on me?”

Taehyung giggled cutely, his eyes shaped in crescents, his smile wide and boyish, the man looking adorable as ever. “Nothing,” he said with the innocence only your boyfriend could convey.  

“Why are you nervous, Dearest?” You asked again, nearly cooing at how cute he was. Just as you were preparing to turn your wrist over, a knock on the outside of the window next to your booth startled you both, you and Taehyung jumping as your eyes darted to the noise, spotting your best friend standing with Jimin as they waved dorkily at you.

“Jesus,” you huffed, clutching your racing heart, Taehyung immediately letting out a noise of complaint. “I forgot they were even coming,” you commented, Tae letting out a low chuckle at the comment.

The surprise intrusion made you forget the ink on your wrist for a moment until you re-registered the song humming in your ear.

Rose petals seem to fall

It’s all I could dream to call you mine

My heart’s a lighter thing

Since you made this night a thing divine

The lyrics resonated so deeply with how you felt toward Taehyung, you found yourself rotating your arm to view the addition on your wrist, the air leaving your lungs for a moment as your heart skipped a beat, then pounding several times quickly to catch up.

Next to the heart he drew were the words, I’m in love with you.

Taehyung’s lips appeared near your ear, their soft plumpness just barely grazing your skin. “It’s true, Peaches,” he told you, making you turn to face him as Ella Fitzgerald continued to sing to you both, the song coming to a close.

In a sentimental mood

I’m within a world so heavenly

For I never dreamt that you’d

Be loving sentimental me.

Leaning toward Taehyung, you kissed him with intent and passion and love. So much love. It wasn’t the first time he had told you he loved you, or you him, but it was the first I’m in love with you, and it was definitely the first since the terms of your relationship had changed. You were both very careful in skirting around the word “love” since you crossed the line of friendship.

Your hands were on both sides of his face, his gripping your wrists as his thumb brushed over the confession he scribbled on your skin.

“I’m in love with you,” you mumbled against his lips. “I’m so in love with you,” you told him again before falling back into the kiss, though Tae’s widening smile, which caused you to smile, made the kiss a bit harder to maintain.

“Jeez, you two, we’re in a public restaurant,” your friend suddenly spoke as she scooted into the booth, Jimin following behind her. Separating from Tae, you rested the top of your head against his chin, your boyfriend wrapping his arms around your body, holding you to him as he placed a kiss to your hair.

“Whatever, we’re in love,” Taehyung dismissed the girl, Jimin smiling widely at the scene.

In love. You were. And you couldn’t help but be beyond thankful that you decided to take the leap of faith with Taehyung. Because in that moment, it was absolutely the right decision. You were meant to find Tae, and love him with all of you. Your paths weren’t simply meant to cross. They were meant to meet and become one. You had no doubts. And you were in love.

[slashingdisneypasta]

Slashers / Horror Villains as: Animated (Children’s) Movie Villain Songs

+ A Nightmare Before Christmas 

First of all, its mostly Disney. Second of all, I hope you know that this was a struggle for me. 

Also, note, Bubba will be the only Leatherface in this post and Billy and Stu will be the only Ghostfaces. There is Norma Bates though, so sort of a consolation. 

There are links to videos on YouTube ^^

~~~

Billy Loomis and Stu Macher / Ghostface: Playing With the Big Boy’s Now (Hotep and Huy, Prince of Egypt) 

Well... they’re part of the ‘big boys’, now! They are part of the Slashers group that, uh, ‘inspired them’. Imagine instead of Egyptian Gods, they’re chanting Slasher names. 

[HUY] Pick up your silly twig, boy [HOTEP & HUY] You're playing with the big boys now! Ha ha ha ha!

[EGYPTIAN PRIESTS] By the power of Ra Mut, Nut, Khnum, Ptah Sobek, Sekhmet, Sokar, Selket Anubis, Anukis Hemsut, Tefnut, Meshkent, Mafdet... 

Chop Top and Nubbins + Bubba Sawyer / Leatherface: Kidnap Mr Sandy Claws (Lock, Shock and Barrel, Nightmare Before Christmas) 

I mean... they aren't Drayton’s minions, but they are like this XD 

I say that we take a cannon, aim it at his door And then knock three times And when he answers Sandy Claws will be no more

Yes you're so stupid, think now If we blow him up to smithereens We may lose some pieces And then Jack will beat us black and green

Kidnap the Sandy Claws Tie him in a bag

Chucky / Charles Lee Ray: In The Dark Of The Night (Rasputin, Anastasia)

Mystical man? Check! ‘Betrayal’ (As far as he sees it)? Check. Made them pay? Check; I think Nica, Sarah and all the other families he destroys throughout the franchise can attest to that. And ‘One little girl got away’? Well Andy isn’t a girl, but yeah. Check. 

I was once the most mystical man in all Russia When the royals betrayed me they mad a mistake My curse made each of them pay But one little girl got away Little Anya, beware Rasputin's awake

Drayton Sawyer: Don’t Fall In Love (Forte, Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas) 

Its such a crochety, unessessarily rude way of describing relationships to someone! I mean, I understand completely and resonate deeply with the desire to be alone and not be responsible for anyone else, but- come on! Beast doesn't share your view! Let it go! 

Its just like Drayton’s reaction to Bubba having a crush. Super cool video too! 

As soon as your heart rules your head Your life is not your own It's hell when someone's always there It's bliss to be alone

And love of any kind is bad A dog, a child, a cat They take up so much precious time Now, where's the sense in that?

Freddy Krueger: No More Mr Nice Guy (Rothbart, Swan Princess) 

A man with an uncomfortable relationship with the main female character pretending to be normal and not homicidal for a while before unlocking more power and letting there inner bad guy loose and taking great pleasure in it? Sounds familiar. They also have a similar vocabulary- except of course Rothbart is rated G. 

I'll become that nasty, naughty, dirty, spiteful Wicked, wayward, way-delightful Bad guy I was born to be

Lyin' loathesome, never-tender Indiscreet repeat offender No more Mr Nice Guy That's not me 

Inkubus: The World’s Greatest Criminal Mind (Professor Rattigan, The Greatest Mouse Detective)

‘Inkubus’ is literally a movie about him listing all his crimes over the centuries and messing with the police force because he has a bone to pick with a detective. Sounds pretty similar to me! Listen to the song! ^^

Now comes the real tour de force Tricky and wicked, of course! My earlier crimes were fine for their times But now that I'm at it again An even grimmer plot has been simmering In my great criminal brain! 

Jason Voorhees: Despicable Me (About Gru, Despicable Me) 

I... this is all I could think of!! But the more I listen to it and read the lyrics... it f i t s Jason so well! XD Please just let this slide; I know Gru isn't really a villain but he is at the start!! Let me have this. 

Why ask why? Better yet "Why not?" Why are you marking x on that spot? Why use a blow torch isn't that hot? Why use a chainsaw? Is that all you got? Why do you like seeing people in shock? But my question to you is "Why not?" Why go to the bank and stand in line Just use a freeze gun it saves me time. I'm havin' a bad, bad day It's about time that I get my way Steam rollin' whatever I see, Huh, despicable me I'm havin' a bad, bad day If you take it personal that's okay Watch, this is so fun to see Huh, despicable me

Jennifer Check: Trust In Me (Kaa, The Jungle Book) 

She’s a succubus demon. Tempting boys into a safe-feeling, docile state so she she can strike is her thing. 

Will cease to resist Just relax Be at rest Like a bird In a nest

Trust in me Just in me Shut your eyes And trust in me

Mayor Buckman and Granny Boone: Savages (Governor Ratcliffe and the Colonizer’s parts, Pocahontas) 

Obviously, because of the (Inaccurate) historical relevance of both movies (Different time’s, same terrible prejudice,) and also because there is definitely a very cult-ish feel about both Governor Ratcliffe’s song and Buckman’s leadership. How easily they’re able to gather support from their people for the most horrible reasons. How horrifying it is to audiences and historians. 

They're only good when dead They're vermin, as I said And worse

They're savages! Savages!

Barely even human

Savages! Savages!

Drive them from our shore! They're not like you and me Which means they must be evil We must sound the drums of war!

Michael Myers: The Gospel Truth II (Muses about Hades, Hercules)

In a Disney movie, Michael would have others sing his song about him as he goes about his silent, determined walking XD 

If there's one God you don't want to get steamed up It's Hades 'Cause he had an evil plan He ran the underworld But thought the dead were dull and uncouth He was as mean as he was ruthless And that's the gospel truth He had a plan to shake things up And that's the gospel truth

Midnight Man: Oogie Boogie’s Song (Oogie Boogie, Nightmare Before Christmas)

A song about a “Gamblin’ Boogie Man” is perfect for the Midnight Man! He and Oogie could be pals. 

Woah! The sound of rollin' dice To me is music in the air 'Cause I'm a gamblin' Boogie Man Although I don't play fair It's much more fun, I must confess When lives are on the line Not mine, of course, but yours, old boy Now that'd be just fine

Norma Bates: Mother Knows Best Reprise (Mother Gothel, Tangled)

Norma is soooooo so so so unbelievably manipulative towards Norman (And Dylan. It just works better on Norman) and this song absolutely presents that. She can go from sweet, loving mother to spiteful, heinous bitch in two seconds if Norman or Dylan don't do what or react the way she wants them to. 

Likes you? Please, Rapunzel, that's demented

This is why you never should have left! Dear, this whole romance that you've invented, Just proves you're too naive to be here Why would he like you? Come on now, really! Look at you, you think that he's impressed? Don't be a dummy Come with mummy

Pamela Voorhees: My Lullaby (Zira, The Lion King 2)

In a opposite approach to a villainous mother to Norma, we have Pam, who was heartbroken by the camp councillors letting her son die and vowed to get revenge. She didn't know she was teaching Jason to be the Crystal Lake killer like Zira did, but she did, and the whole song does have her kind of feel to it also. 

Sleep, my little Kovu Let your dreams take wing One day when you're big and strong You will be a kingI've been exiled, persecuted Left alone with no defense When I think of what that brute did I get a little tense But I dream a dream so pretty That I don't feel so depressed 'Cause it soothes my inner kitty And it helps me get some rest

Patrick Bateman: Cruella De Vil (Arthur, 101 Dalmations) 

Never before was there a song that described audiences reaction to watching Patrick living in his daily life and hearing his thoughts better then this one. 

Cruella De Vil Cruella De Vil If she doesn't scare you No evil thing will To see her is to Take a sudden chill Cruella, Cruella De Vil

The curl of her lips The ice in her stare All innocent children Had better beware She's like a spider waiting For the kill Look out for Cruella De Vil

Pennywise (Both): You’re Only Second Rate (Jafar, Return of Jafar)

Mostly for the video and Jafar’s energy in this scene actually XD So many transformations, so many tasteless puns! I was going to give this to Freddy but its the closest thing to Penny I could think of. 

Go ahead and zap me with the big surprise Snap me in a trap, cut me down to size I'll make a great escape It's just a piece of cake You're only second rate You know your hocus-pocus isn't tough enough And your mumbo-jumbo doesn't measure up Let me pontificate upon your sorry state You're only second rate

Sheriff Hoyt / Charlie Hewitt: Hellfire (Judge Claude Frollo, Hunchback of Notre Dame) 

A nasty filthy man who think’s he’s in the right despite being the biggest creep and monster ever? Mhm. 

*Note: I honestly didn't notice the deformed baby, Quasimodo/Thomas link until the day after I wrote this. Don't know how I feel about it. I mean, Hoyt is actually nice, in his way, to Thomas so the connection isn't totally there but onwards:

Beata Maria You know I am a righteous man Of my virtue I am justly proud

Beata Maria You know I'm so much purer than The common, vulgar, weak, licentious crowd 

End of Post! 🌼

(Bonus’ under the cut) 

I did think of other connections which I obviously didnt landed on but still have merit! Here! 

Billy Loomis and Stu Macher: ‘Gaston’ was considered, but that would have just been a joke XD I don’t think Stu is quite as obsessed with Billy as LeFou is with Gaston. 

Chucky: Friends on the Other Side. Obviously! That link was actually what inspired me to make this post. In The Dark of Night fits to a T though. 

Freddy Krueger: You’re Only Second Rate! Ah, its perfectttt. But No More Mr Nice Guy fits better. If I ever do a Slashers as Disney Villains post, he’ll be Jafar for sure. Or Hades. Or Scar. Or Oogie. Probably Hades. You know what? Without the gore and blood and explicit sexual references, Freddy could be a Disney Villain himself. Its not like Disney hasn't towed the line before with perverted villains. >_> (Jafar and Frollo) 

Jason and Pamela Voorhees: Mother Knows Best! Of course. 

Jennifer Check: Love is For Peasants (Barbie Island Princess) Because Jennifer thinks like this: 

Men? <<< Literally anything else. 

Patrick Bateman: How Can I Refuse? (From Barbie Princess and the Pauper) XD If Patrick were a kids movie villain, he would totally join the ranks of corrupted usurpers pretending to be trustworthy royal advisory staff. Also ‘Let It Die’, that little interruption part of another song that O’Hare sings in the Lorax and ‘How Bad Can I be?’. 

[inanotherheadspace]

The Adventures of Team Lune - Chapter One: Home Coming

Summary: A dragon slayer, a demon slayer, and a god slayer walk into a Guild Hall... and all goes to hell

Pairings: Natsu x Fem OC, Gajeel x Fem OC, Gray x Fem OC, Sting x Fem OC, Laxus x Fem OC, Loke x Fem OC

Word Count: 4144

Masterlist  - Next Chapter 

The guild hall was noisy. Not it's normal noisy, but still overwhelmingly loud. May's footsteps were hurried, the tips of her shoes slapping the concrete lightly. The rain pattering down around her, soaking the tattered fabric of her cloak, along with her ridiculously-long blonde locks. It had been six months. Six months since she left for a quest without notice. The mission was long, at first it had been said that it would take at least two years, but the client had been pleased with her progress; she had done what needed to be done and was released early with full compensation. A small grin lit her features at the hefty sum of a reward, as well as seeing her home once more. Her smile quickly melted to a grimace, as she remembered her cloak being torn to shreds.   Now she could only hope that Calypso would be able to fix it, although it seemed completely ruined, and she would have to buy a replica somehow. Her frown remained until she reached the guild's doors. She silently prayed to the God's that Calypso would be there, drinking as she usually was. Or even Astria, maybe Ria would fix it for her. She cringed at the thought, No, definitely not, Ria would probably further ruin it somehow.  She then placed her palm flatly against one of the doors, sighing silently as she gave herself a moment. Everything would be normal in there, nothing new. As she inhaled once more, she let her intrusive thoughts clear, pressing the door open and letting herself into the hall; her eyes glued to the floor. She continued letting her feet move her, bit by bit until she let her eyes wander from the wooden planks, searching for Calypso's wine-purple hair.   "May! Welcome back!" The old man's voice ringed through her ears, as the guild hall fell eerily silent. Swallowing a deep breath, she offered a small wave heading toward the drunken plumette. The girls tanned forehead rested against a table as she snoozed, Cana sitting beside her with - what May could only assume - was a barrel of booze. Right now, wasn't a time to interact with other comrades, guildmates, or friends. She needed her cloak fixed, and now. May's paler hand reached out to the drunkard's shoulder, gripping it and shaking the body part, leaving the poor girl to wake with a tremor due to the force.   “Oi! Five more minutes! I'm fuckin' tired!" May's face twitched at the woman's slurred voice. With a small eye-roll, and the ignorance to those around her thoughts or voices, she placed her other hand atop her other shoulder, shaking with even more force. "What!" Calypso huffed rather loudly, pushing the small girls' hands away as she thrashed in her seat.   May's head turned to the side, giving a rather quizzical look as her eyebrow propped up. Her voice was soft and quiet, trying to divert any attention that was placed on her home coming.                                                      

"Good morning, sunshine.” Calypso's head shot up then, her eyes widening comically. "I need to stop drinking... I'm starting to hallucinate..." The woman muttered, looking back down at the table as May tapped her fingers upon the wood. "Wait- May would never let her cloak get ruined- May!" She jumped from her seat, grabbing the petite girl in front of her and rolling her into a spine-crushing hug. Calypso swung the woman around like a ragdoll, her blonde hair messily waving around.  

"Oh, my gods! It's really you! Where the fuck have you been, you stupid brat!"  

May's hands found themselves patting her back soothingly, quickly turning into small slaps as she was being crushed to what she presumed was death. "I-...I took!" She squeaked as her lungs were being drained of the air she so desperately needed.  

"Huh? You leave for six months! Six goddamn months! Leaving me and Ria to wither here! How could you do that to us! You didn't even leave a note!" Calypso placed the girl on the floor, her hands leaving her weakened body, before they were placed firmly on her shoulders shaking her senseless. Well, at least she can breathe now. "You literally disappeared! We thought you died or something! You're insane!" As Calypso ranted, May found herself chuckling lightly, her cheeks growing warm in embarrassment.  

Her fingers found the back of her neck, scratching sheepishly as she averted her gaze. "Well... You see, I um, took a really long mission- I figured you guys wouldn't mind much since I left rent money for about two-years," it seemed Calypso didn't mind the attention being drawn to the two, the thought resonated deeply within May however, leaving her entire body flushing with the warmth of embarrassment- that or it was just her blood circulating properly now.  

By now, most of the guild's attention was on the two, truly unbeknownst to them. "Uh... Calypso by the way... Could you, y'know, possibly fix this?" The girl muttered, still blatantly upset about her cloak as she untied it from her pale neck. She folded the fabric strands- more like strings now as she handed the delicate piece to her friend.  

"I bet you cried for hours over this, huh?" The shit-eating grin Calypso sported as the words left her lips made May fill with murderous intent. Her emerald eyes glinting with what seemed to be pure remorse. As soon as the tension was heavy, another familiar female presence was felt beside the two; before two arms shot out, palms placed sternly on each of their shoulders. The body moving between the two.  

"C'mon May! You just got back, no need to go killing each other, yeah? And you-" Astria's palm moved from Calypso's shoulder, raising upward and slicing into her hair in a chop-like motion. Calypso groaned from the impact, raising her hands to rub her temples. "Don't go provoking her."   Calypso nodded sheepishly, before turning her attention back to May, "But seriously, we thought you fell off the place of the planet or something. Don't go worrying us like that again." May gave a curt nod, offering nothing but a small pout-like smile. The flimsy fabric that rested in Calypso's hands was placed onto the wooden table as she let out a small sigh. "I missed you, you dumb brat."

"Me too!" Astria let a small pout form across her face. "Do you know how many times I wanted to spar with you! And you weren't even here! That's so mean! Not even a note!? Seriously!" The smaller girl was hysterical by now, as she turned to May raising and slapping her fists against the other's chest comically. "Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" Before the punches could begin to get more forceful, May's hands grasped at Ria's wrists, pinning them in front of her own chest. 

"I get it, okay? But now isn't the time! The cloak is ruined! Like completely ruined!" The tears welling up in May's eyes seemed to glimmer under the hall's lighting, giving Astria a key to back-off for now, as May's pout deepened; Astria's formed as well.  

"I'm sure Caly can fix it..." She carefully lied, her teeth grinding together as she neared closer and wrapped her thin arms around her friend, gently patting her back to try soothing her. From afar, most of the guild mates found themselves amused by the interaction, silently chuckling as small smiles graced their faces, others weren't so silent- talking quietly amongst each other at the comrade they hadn't seen quite often but still found themselves missing. However, there were a few who had no idea who the girl was, thinking she was a new guild member who was very much to their disliking, overreacting over an article of clothing. But one of the latter were not new whatsoever, standing straight with his arms crossed over his chest as his brows furrowed.  

He stepped forward, stalking silently toward the girls. Calypso stared at her two friends, feeling complete as Team Lune was finally together once more, her feeling of half-emptiness now long-gone, fleeting as if it were nothing but an empty premonition. The three S-Class mages stood silently as May tried to keep herself from unraveling into silent sobs. Astria couldn't help but be amused, still feeling sorry for her dear friend, but finding her attachment to a simple article of clothing comical. 

The man however, seemed very annoyed with the upset woman. As he neared the three, his pink hair flopping with each footstep, he felt the incline to slap her. "Are you serious right now? You're upset over a cloak you bought? While your friends and the guild have been here waiting for you to finally return?" His tone was harsh, piercing May's demeanor with poisonous irritation.

"Natsu..." Astria looked up from her friend, shaking her head no softly, as to not disturb May's panic.  

"I'd understand if maybe a parent gave it to her or a friend or something, but seriously? Over clothing?" The oblivious boy seemed to have chosen ignorance that day, as Astria's eyes widened in reaction to his outburst. She could only imagine the anger beginning to dwell within May, as the other girl's body began to tremble slightly. "It's kind of," he seemed to search for the word as May unwrapped herself from her friend, pushing her away gently as her tears remained in the brim of her eyes, “...childish?”

"I'm sure you'd know all about that, because of Igneel's scarf, huh?" She peeped, feeling herself become even smaller in front of Natsu. The two girls backed a bit; knowing there wasn't any way this would end in a positive outcome.

"Watch your mouth, Dragneel." The girl stood, unwavering as her arm stuck out in front of her with her small palm facing openly toward him. "Or so help me, I will kill you right here."

"Hey, hey! He has a point! You're a part of Fairy Tail! How could you hurt your own friend?" A blonde girl asked, stepping closer with concerned eyes. "Can you even call yourself a part of this guild- no, this family if you really want to hurt one of us?" The girls question turned into a shout, allowing May the time to shift her attention to her with a quirked brow. May's head tilted to the side, before turning back to Natsu, seemingly completely unbothered by her questions. This only enraged the blonde. The girl took a few steps closer, before letting impudent words roll of her tongue. "I won't let you hurt him! You can't storm in here like that! You're not a part of this family!" The girl's words left May's ears ringing obnoxiously, as she fully turned to face her.  

Her face was stern, unwavering and stone cold compared to hers, who was now on the verge of tears as Natsu remained in the air due to whatever magic the mage was using. "Natsu, could you keep your girlfriend on a leash?"

"Lucy," Laxus's voice warned calmly as he stood up, offering the other blonde a small shake of his head. "I'd stay out of it."  

Lucy, as May learned had now turned to Laxus offering him a helpless look as her frown deepened before walking backwards and toward the scarlet haired woman, a woman May was highly fond of. Erza however, seemed completely unbothered toward the situation, simply shrugging to Gray as they stood by Happy, an exceed May had learned to love when hanging out with Astria and her company. However, three new faces stood beside the two she had known so well, a pale and pretty bluenette and a rather burly man whose hair raggedly grew beneath his shoulders. The man's attention seemed to drift from the soon to be brawl to the plum haired mage standing beside her and Astria. May's attention turned back to Natsu who only stared back in exasperation as adrenaline pumped through his veins like poison. He couldn't stay here, not like this. Not helpless. He hated that feeling.  

Unbeknownst to the other guild members, besides the likes of Laxus and the Master, May hadn't harmed Natsu. She simply - yet complexly - made it seem that way. Natsu however, was also oblivious to this fact. The impact had been made using her magic, shattering some of the sheetrock which covered the wall's interior, milliseconds before she had moved Natsu swiftly, holding him in the air with an invisible force, and against the wall's rubble.  

"May, you can stop now," Makarov turned his face to the blonde, offering a curt nod and a small smile. "Welcome back, my child." The girl nodded, letting Natsu fall to his feet as she left her arm drop- relinquishing her magic into nothing-ness.  

"I'm home, Gramps." She shot him a warm smile, which allowed the pinkette dragon slayer to run up to her, uninterrupted. However, the woman wasn't oblivious, rather the opposite. As he neared her, fist clenched and ready to brawl- she swiftly ducked, grabbing his fist and enveloping it in her palm. Successfully stopping his attack. At what could be assumed was the speed of light, May disappeared from everyone watching's line of sight, reappearing behind Natsu, her whisper left his blood cold as he shivered from the close-proximity and her words brushing his neck as a shiver ran down his spine, clawing at it. "Boo." Before she stepped back completely, and once again appeared beside her infamous team. "I really don't feel like fighting when my cloak is... ruined." She pouted once more, sheepishly letting her arms fall behind her back and holding her small hands together.  

"You started it!"

"No, you did!"

"You did!"

"You did!"

"Natsu.." Astria peeped, looking between the two as they bickered.

"You started!"

"No, you!"

"Natsu..."

"Stop bluffing! You were bitching over a cloak!" At this, May's eyes turned to slits. A soul piercing glare fell across her features.

"You brought up-"

"Natsu! You started it! Just calm down both of you, yeah?" Astria hurriedly looked between the two. Not even twenty-four hours into May's home coming and she already had to mediate fights. The girl sighed in defeat, waving her hand to the two. May let out a simple huff, crossing her arms under her chest as her face turned into a pout, Natsu mirroring her actions as they both turned their heads to opposite sides.  

"She didn't even really hit you." Calypso noted, swirling her finger in the air.  

"I know! And that pissed me off!" Natsu huffed, making Laxus let out a simple and low chuckle as he now neared the two.

"If she did, you'd probably be actually dead." Laxus smirked to Natsu as he stood beside May, letting his palm rub into the top of her head. "Welcome back, kid."  

"Oh, what a warm welcome." May chuckled, waving his hand away as she turned back to Calypso whom had already begun drinking with Cana again. "I'm guessing that cloak will never be fixed."  

"You don't need a shitty piece of fabric to be a mage, y'know." His deep voice was smooth, less gruff than usual as he offered a small grin, now facing Natsu.  

"But I really liked that one."

"You'll get over it. I still don't know why you love them so much." Erza stated, smiling toward the group in front of her, shaking her head slightly in amusement.  

"It's practically a part of her being now," Astria stated, offering a small smile to Natsu who was still pouting in annoyance. "Y'know Natsu, we can spar later so you can get over your little temper tantrum." His face sparked up at her words, nodding furiously to her before grabbing her wrist and tugging her quickly toward the door.

"No time to waste then! I'm fired up!" At his words, May couldn't help but let out a silent sigh, a small shake of her head following. After watching her two old friends leave through the guild doors, one by force and one thoroughly adrenaline pumped, she turned back to Laxus.  

"So, what'd I miss?" She asked hesitantly, looking toward the new members wearily. Before the others could respond, Calypso's voice rang through the guild loud and clear.

"Lucy, dear-" she started as Cana poured her another glass, "make sure you know all the information before you come after someone. I'd hate to see you hurt because you started something out of ignorance." Calypso's grassy eyes flickered menacingly to meet Lucy's. "If you dare say anything like that to one of the members of my team – I'd have to kill you. Understood?”

The blonde’s eyes widened innocently, and she fervently nodded her head. Calypso sighed, breaking through the deathly silent guild. “What the fuck is everyone pouting over – our May has returned relatively unscathed. We should be drinking! Be merry or whatever!” A loud cheer rang through the hall, returning it to its normal volume.

“Well- somehow, Caly has become the peacekeeper in the guild. We’ve gotten a few new members too – all shitty brats if you ask me.” Laxus grumbled as he crossed his arms over his chest. “The troublemaking brats are just as loud as usual. They cause even more issues now since they’re all on the same team too.” May chuckled as she looked around the guild. Her eyes stopped at Calypso and Cana’s table – sitting next to Calypso was the male with long, scraggly black hair that reached below his shoulders. She recognized him from earlier when he was standing beside the pretty bluenette.  

“So, the blonde who barks a lot is Lucy, is her skill good? I could use a new sparring partner.”

“Nope, all she has going for her is her body. Some of her stupid keys have merit.”

“And she’s on a team with Gray, Erza, and Natsu?”

“Natsu brought her into the guild no less.”

“Poor Ria...” May mumbled as her heart ached with the thought of her teammate made roommate’s lifelong friend. “Who’s the dude with Caly and Cana?”

“Gajeel, he’s an iron dragon slayer from Phantom Lord. He shouldn’t be here if you ask me, fucker attacked our guild and still fucking got in. Gramps let two of those assholes in.”                               “Now, now Laxus, there’s no need to go slandering people just because you can’t see eye to eye with them.” The small grin May offered, reminded him too much of Mirajane for his liking; instead of calming down, he graced her with a short eyeroll. “Sounds like the kinda guy she likes to hang around. Who’s the other one from Phantom Lord?” Her eyebrow quirked in amusement. He offered a short scoff, tilting his head in the direction of the bluenette from earlier.

“Her names Juvia, she’s obsessed with Gray,” He offered a small shrug, earning a light smack to his chest from his petite friend.  

“And her magic?”

“Water.” May nodded, soaking in the information of her new comrades. People she’d eventually have to fight besides, it was becoming apparent that it was not going to be easy.  

“And you said Lucy uses keys?” Laxus nodded to her question, raising his own blonde brow as she patted her pockets for something, before pulling out a thin and bright silver key. “Like this?” His head tilted comically as he stared between May and the key.  

“Since when do you use celestial magic?” May then mirrored his action.

“I don’t, but the quest I was on had a lot of rewards, y’know? This was one of them.” The girl simply shrugged, continuing to observe the key. “I’m not really into holder-type magic.”  

“Doesn’t yours have some similarities though?” The shorter blonde let out a snort at his words.  

“Don’t talk about things that you have no idea about, Dreyar.” His face fell into an arrogant smirk, as his hand rose to grab the key to inspect it himself.  

"For something so small, it’s kind of heavy, no? Are you going to keep it?” He questioned as he continued to fiddle with the key.

“Holder-type magic tends to be heavier, since not all of the magic is stored within the user’s body. That and the key seems to be pure silver. To answer your other question, I usually would give it to someone in the guild that would use this kind of magic.” The blonde let out a sigh as she snatched the key back from Laxus. “But because of how nasty that girl was to me, I’ll keep it for now.” He clutched his sides as he let out a deep laugh.  

“Aww does the little princess hate being disrespected?” Laxus mocked as May stared daggers into his soul. She took a small step back from him, letting out a short huff as she folded her arms underneath her chest.  

“I’m not talking to you anymore.” He offered a small snicker in return before patting her head once more.  

"Hey, hey weren’t you the one who said not to dislike others because of their differences? Some shit like that, huh?” She let out another short huff, before walking toward one of the two who had come from Phantom Lord, to properly introduce herself, Laxus hot on her heels. As she neared the girl, she wearily glanced toward her, seemingly nervous for some reason.  

"Hi, I’m May, it’s nice to meet you. Welcome to the guild.”  

“May, she’s been here for a few months now.” At Laxus’s words her cheeks flared up, the warmth casting a dark pink shade to arise to her cheeks.  

"I was just trying to introduce myself Laxus!” At her outburst, the blonde man did nothing but snicker at her misfortune of coming home on the one day he was around the guild. Truth be told, it had been a while since he had been around. For the past few days, he had felt an inclination to hang around, sensing something out of the ordinary; he just couldn’t figure out what. Seeing May now, hadn’t been what he was expecting. Sure, he hadn’t seen May in a while. A little over six months to be exact.  

He couldn’t exactly be furious with her considering he had gone away sporadically on missions with his team without notice as well. But looking at the girl by his side now, he knew she must’ve seen and raised hell on whatever mission she was out doing. There was no way she was still the same brat from before. Sure, she had grown; but he had seen her at least regularly, so it wasn’t that. He let his gaze wander down, finding his eyes glued to her paler, bared shoulders. That had been the most skin she had shown in a few years. Cloaks really had been a part of her being. It felt weird to see her this way, her pink halter top only granting so much coverage.   “You might’ve had a point. With the whole being a cry baby over a cloak. It’s like you’re naked without it.” The guy scoffed, suppressing his own amused chuckle with the ball of his fist. “It really is weird.”

“Hey, don’t call me naked!” The girls scold came out in a shriek, her voice catching the attention of more than half the guild for the umpteenth time that day. A voice cut through, following May’s; “Yeah, no Laxus is right, you’re in the nude right now, May.” The blonde girl twitched at the statement, slowly turning toward the voice’s owner; blood turning cold in her veins in pure rage at Calypso’s words.  

“Fix my cape, you damn drunk!” The words came out in a squeak, in a rather unintimidating manner as it usually would be. Truth be told, May had crossed the line of embarrassment long ago; her cheeks remaining a deep shade of vermillion.

The plumette cackled at her friend, waving her hand haphazardly. “After this drink, dear.”

May inhaled deeply, closing her eyes as she let her breath out. If anyone needed a drink, it was her. Her feet worked faster than her brain as she stormed up to Calypso, her dainty fingers gripping the woman’s blushing ear, causing an even deeper color to surface as she pulled her up from her seat next to the iron dragon slayer. The small girl began to drag the woman out of the guild, by the tips of her ears, much to the guild members’ amusement.

[theowritesfiction]

Why are Aang and Mai two of you least favorite ATLA kids?

The answer about Aang in particular is kind of complex and probably requires an explanation of my personal biases. The reason why this show resonated so heavily with me is because how none of the kids in the show really have a happy nuclear family. Well, neither did I. My father just up and left us when I was just coming into my teens. My sibling is considerably older than I am, so my father was there throughout all of their upbringing and seemed to do a decent job, but he just couldn't bother to do it for the second time. As a result I'm really sensitive to examples of bad parenting / preferential treatment of children. Which kind of explains why I'm so passionate about Azula, I guess.

To bring it back to Aang. When ATLA first aired, I kind of gave up on it after a few episodes. I later ended up watching LOK first, and then coming back to ATLA after that. So when I saw the LOK episodes about Tenzin, Kya and Bumi struggling to have decent sibling relationships 20 years after the death of their father, I was just absolutely livid with Aang. I think you can see why. And to anyone going 'oh that's so unfair, you're so biased!', uh... we're all biased. It's impossible to separate your lived experiences and somehow not allow them to color your perception. Your takes on the characters are just as biased as mine, perhaps in ways that you simply aren't aware of.

A few of my portrayals of Aang in my stories are quite negative as a result of my perception of him. But because I'm aware of my own bias, I am not beyond putting in an effort to write him more sympathetically. He's perfectly likeable in The White Lotus Gambit. I'll probably continue to write him more sympathetically in the future as well. But I'll probably never write or read Kataang, because just the idea that Katara could have married a dude who constantly took only one of their kids to Special Fun Vacations is abhorrent to me. It's also why Azulaang feels deeply wrong to me. Here's a girl who suffered from preferential treatment by her parents throughout her childhood and it really messed her up, but we're putting her together with someone who we have seen having a favorite child? Different strokes for different folks, but that's not for me.

Mai is a far simpler answer, fortunately. While some of my portrayals of her could lead the readers to believe that I hate Mai, I actually used to be completely ambivalent towards her. I was just trying to make her interesting in some way. In the future, I'll probably try to do it in different ways than turning her into an assassin with a grudge. :P For me the problem really was Mai's apathy towards the events around her. If you're going to be so disinterested in everything, then I'm going to be disinterested in you. I'm learning to appreciate Mai more, however, so I think my future portrayals of her will be more nuanced and more flattering.

[shadowywerewolfqueen]

Music

“I can’t believe I let you convince me to come to this thing with you. I mean seriously, when have I ever listened to anything besides classic rock?” Dean grumbled as he followed his brother to their seats in the large concert hall.

“Oh, quit bitching,” Sam whispered angrily. “It’s Eileen’s last concert before she goes on maternity leave and you promised her you would come see one of her performances. Trust me, you don’t want to be on her bad side right now. I told her to wait a minute before I got her juice and she made me sleep on the couch for three nights.”

Dean smirked as they took their seats. “She’s got you whipped man.”

Sam rolled his eyes at his brother’s mocking. “When you get married, you’ll understand.”

“Hardly,” Dean scoffed. “Last time I checked, guys can’t get pregnant, so I won’t have to worry about a pregnant partner with random food cravings. I mean seriously, jelly dipped grapefruit slices have to be one of the most disgusting food combos ever. Even I wouldn’t eat that.”

“Whatever. Like the saying goes, people do crazy things when they’re in love. You just wait,” Sam said with a grin.

Before Dean could argue, the lights dimmed and focused on the stage. Since Sam was Eileen’s husband, they had special front row seats for family only. Dean watched with little interest as the orchestra members walked onto the stage. He saw Eileen carrying her violin and gave her a thumbs up when she looked in his direction. Dean groaned inwardly as more and more people crowded onto the stage. He never fathomed an orchestra would be so big.

His eyes were lazily gazing around him, waiting for the concert to start when suddenly his attention was snagged. Leading a row of orchestra members was the most gorgeous man Dean had ever laid eyes on. He had messy black hair that refused to be tamed. His face was square with high cheekbones and a strong jaw and Dean wanted to know what those lips felt like against his. He was tall, at least six foot with a lithe muscular build. Dean raked his eyes down the man’s body and nearly drooled at the thick thighs that were encased by the black dress pants he wore. Dean felt the breath leave his body as the man’s eyes quickly glanced at him before facing the front again. They were stunning blue sapphires that sparkled in the low light and Dean was already lost in their depths.

Dean refused to look away from the gorgeous man. He watched as the man settled in his chair before pulling a large stringed instrument towards him. Dean was mesmerized by the nimble fingers that ghosted over the strings, being careful to make a single noise. He stared as the man flipped through his music and imagined what those fingers would feel like trailing over his body. He shivered in anticipation.

Sam elbowed him lightly. “Dude, are you ok?”

Dean swallowed dryly. “Yeah, I’m good Sammy. I totally gotta get that guy’s number. Maybe Eileen could help a brother-in-law out.”

Sam looked to at the man that Dean was still staring at. He snorted before saying, “Good luck. That’s Castiel and according to Eileen, refuses to date anyone and everyone. He’s solely focused on his music and says he doesn’t have time for frivolous relationships.”

“Yeah, well he ain’t ever met me yet! I won’t be frivolous, hell, I’ll give him a hundred reasons to be with me if you know what I mean?” Dean wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“Ugh, gross,” Sam huffed. “You can try, but I’ll be here to pick up the pieces when Cas turns you down.”

“Whatever bitch, just you wait and see. Cas is gonna be mine,” Dean argued.

“I’ll give you a hundred bucks if you get Cas to go on more than three dates with you,” Sam challenged.

“Deal! It’ll be like taking candy from a baby.” Dean smirked.

The men fell silent as the conductor held his hands up and the whole orchestra readied themselves. Dean jumped when the next sound was the loud bang of a drum. His eyes glued in on Cas and they never left. Dean hardly heard the music, his gaze so intent on the man in front of him.

They had gone through three songs and Dean couldn’t recall what a single one of them sounded like when Castiel suddenly stood up and moved towards the front of the stage. Dean’s gaze followed him like a hungry wolf stalking it’s prey.

“I would like to introduce our very own Castiel Novak. He will now perform a solo that he has written himself for the very first time. I know all of you will be blown away by his talent and skill.” The crowd applauded lightly as Castiel took a lone seat in front of the rest of the orchestra.

For the first time that night, Dean listened to the music being played. Cas’s fingers moved gracefully, making the instrument sing. The notes that echoed throughout the hall told a heart wrenching story. They described a man who was looking for love but had no idea how to find it. The tune was slow and melodic, and Dean was captured in its sad embrace. The minor chords resonated through the air and Dean felt a single tear roll down his cheek. Once the last eerie note had floated through the air, the crowd erupted into applause.

Dean jumped to his feet, his hands stinging with the force of his clapping. He watched as Castiel bowed deeply a few times before picking his instrument up and walking back to his original seat. He glanced at Dean again and flashed a small smile in his direction. Dean felt his heart beat faster at the minute gesture.

The rest of the concert was a blur as Dean only had eyes and ears for Castiel. When it was over and the orchestra stood for their final bows, Dean clapped along with everyone else. His eyes tracked Cas for as long as possible until the man walked out of sight off the stage. Dean sighed heavily, hoping he would get a chance to talk to him.

“So, what did you think?” Sam asked as they waited for Eileen.

Dean shrugged, “It was better than I thought it was going to be. Still prefer my classic rock but this wasn’t half bad.”

“Well, I’ll count that as a win in my book,” Sam said before walking around his brother and pulling his wife into a hug. “Congrats pumpkin, you did so good tonight! I’m so proud of you.”

Dean watched his brother and sister-in-law with fondness. Eileen was a perfect match for Sam in every way. After years of trying, they were finally pregnant and Dean couldn’t wait to meet his niece who was due in a few weeks. He pulled her in for a tight hug and congratulated her on a wonderful performance.

“Psh, you didn’t hear her. You were too focused on Castiel,” Sam interjected.

Dean felt his cheeks heat up as he glared at his brother. “Shut up bitch. I was not!”

Sam snorted. “Yeah you were. I bet you couldn’t even describe any of the music tonight besides his solo.”

“Well, I would love to hear him describe it,” a deep voice rumbled from behind them.

Dean spun around to find the gorgeous musician standing a few feet away. Up close, Castiel was even more gorgeous and Dean couldn’t suppress the small whimper that escaped his throat. He felt the blush staining his cheeks deepen. “Uh, hi,” Dean croaked.

Castiel’s lips spread in a small grin. “Hello. My name is Castiel. From what Eileen has told me, you are Dean.”

“Uh, yeah. I’m Dean and the moose behind me is Sam,” Dean explained as he held his hand out.

Castiel’s palm was warm and smooth as he shook Dean’s hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Dean. Would you please tell me what you thought of my solo? I heard that you prefer classic rock and I must say I’m curious as to what you thought about such a different genre of music.”

Dean rubbed at the back of his neck nervously. “Uh, well, it was haunting and sad for one. I mean I had a tear rolling down my cheek by the end of it. I’m not usually a fan of slow songs but there’s no other tempo that song could have. And, um- I mean, well, I’m sorry that you haven’t found the person you’re looking for.”

Castiel tilted his head. “What do you mean?”

Dean dropped his gaze, afraid he had said something wrong. “Well, the whole point of the song is about being lonely and how you want to find love but don’t know how, right? That’s why it was so dark and gloomy because you’re lost, and you don’t know how to find your way. Since the song ended on such a long eerie note, I’m assuming you haven’t found what you’re looking for and you’re calling out to anybody who will listen.”

It was silent and Dean finally looked up. Sam and Eileen were staring at him like he had grown a second head while Cas looked like he was close to tears. Dean felt his stomach tie itself in knots. He wanted to ask the musician on a date but instead he had offended him.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean,” Dean started to say.

“Stop,” Cas ordered as he stepped closer. He reached out and hovered his palm over Dean’s cheek. “You just described that song perfectly. Writing it was very difficult for me because of how much of myself I put into it. You’re right, I am lonely, and I wish I wasn’t but nobody has been able to alleviate that loneliness.”

Dean wanted to kick himself for his next words. “I thought you didn’t do relationships and were focused on your music.”

The corner of Cas’ mouth quirked up. “That’s what I tell people to try and hide how I truly feel. Besides, no person I’ve ever met has been able to describe my music the way you just did. I would be honored if you would go on a date with me.”

Dean’s eyes were saucers as he stared in shock at the man in front of him. “Are you serious?” Castiel nodded. Dean shifted his head, so Cas’ palm rested lightly against his cheek. “I’m free now.”

Cas’ face split into a large gummy smile. “Let me go grab my things and then I will be right back.”

Dean watched him walk off before turning to Sam and Eileen. He smirked at his brother as he said, “There’s one date. Three more and you owe me a hundred bucks.”

Eileen gasped. “You guys are betting on Cas!”

Sam wrapped an arm around her waist and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Dean fell heads over heels the moment he saw Cas, but I told him he’d never have a chance. I bet him a hundred bucks if he could get Cas to go on more than three dates with him.”

“Trust me, I’m not messing with Cas. I really want to get to know him, money or no money,” Dean said hastily, wanting to stay on Eileen’s good side.

She eyed him warily and warned him not to hurt Cas but otherwise wished them the best of luck. She never had to worry because Dean treated Cas like he hung the moon. He did, in fact, end up going on more than three dates with Cas. It was a whirlwind kind of romance and two years later they were married. At their wedding, Cas played a brand-new song for Dean.

Dean was in tears by the end of it because this song was different than the first solo he heard from Cas. This song wasn’t sad and dark but light and jovial. This song was about a man who had been searching for love and had finally found it. It told the story of an epic romance that was just beginning.

Tagging: @lonewolf34500 @notwithd @multifandom-fanatic @flowersforcas @cockleslovesdestiel

[esmealux]

Bloody Hell

Part: 1 / 2

Setting: After 5a

Word count: 3K

Rating: T

Summary: Lucifer’s first period.

The elevator dings as Lucifer reaches the penthouse. ‘And the Devil’s back! I found your breakfast burritos and now a guy owes me a favour, so all in all, a successful trip,’ he tells her as he takes off his jacket and places it on the bar. With Chloe’s breakfast in hand, he turns towards his sofa to grin at her, only to discover she isn’t lying there, closer to ‘naked’ than ‘dressed’, like she was when he left to fetch her some food.

‘Detective?’ he calls out, walking up the steps to his bedroom. The bed is empty apart from the crumbled black silk sheets and her bra. His heart starts drumming a little faster against his ribcage.

‘Detective, where are you?’ His voice is rough and squeaky, the words almost resonating off the walls in the silent penthouse. Much too silent.

He starts searching the entire place, looking for signs of struggle and clues that’ll show him which one of his wretched siblings has kidnapped her this time. After investigating the living room and balcony thoroughly, turning every piece of furniture, looking behind every curtain, he goes back to his bedroom to check if she’s miraculously popped up. When she (still) isn’t under the bed, he’s inflamed, his annoyance and anxiety building into infernal heat, spreading through his body like a wildfire. ‘Detective, I swear to you, I will punish whoever-’

‘Lucifer, calm down,’ he suddenly hears her say, her voice muffled. The sound has relief washing over him, calming down his blazing body. ‘I’m in here.’

As he realises she’s in the bathroom, he hurriedly strides down the hall, presses his body to the door, and yanks down the handle. It’s locked. Panic still hot in his throat, he clenches his hand around the gold, ready to break in when she snaps at him from behind the door. ‘Jesus, Lucifer, what have I told you about privacy?!’

He wants to comment on her choice of exclamation, but something in her voice stops him. ‘Right. Sorry, Detective.’ He puts a hand on the door, tenderly. ‘I just- Are you okay?’

‘Yeah, I’m fine,’ she assures him, still a little peeved. ‘Could you just do something for me, please?’

‘Anything your heart desires,’ he says with a grin, the last embers of fear now put out by the sound of her slightly annoyed (and thus natural) voice.

‘Well, I really desire that you find my purse and bring it to me. I think I put it on the bar.’

He frowns, thinking. ‘Uhm, no. You didn’t. In fact, it’s not anywhere in the penthouse, I’m afraid.’

‘Wha- You already looked?’ she asks, surprised.

‘Well, technically, yes.’

He hears her mutter something along the lines of ‘what does that even mean?’ before she, quite sceptically, asks, ‘Are you sure? Lucifer, I’m not in the mood for pranks right now.’

When are you ever? he thinks, still disappointed she didn’t appreciate his creativity last time he tried to lighten the mood. But he’s not looking to rouse her now, so he tells her the truth, hoping it will allay her annoyance, inexplicable as he finds it. ‘If you really must know, I spent five full minutes searching the entire place for signs that you’d been hurt by one of my pathetic relatives, so yes, Detective, I am pretty damn sure your little too big and quite mum-ish bag isn’t here,’ he tells her. He hears her grunt a profanity he’s only ever heard her moan ecstatically in the throes of passion; now it’s laced with frustration and despair. Something is going on with her, and he needs to figure out what it is before she ruins more of his favourite words.

‘Why on Earth do you need your rucksack in my bathroom anyway?’

‘It’s not a rucksack,’ she tells him.

‘Ah, nice try! But I will not let you deflect my truly relevant question. What is it you need, Detective?’ He tries again, more inquisitively this time.

No answer.

His brow creases with worry and the slightest hint of an ache settles in his chest. ‘What’s going on?’

Several heart beats pass. He tries to remain patient but after seven seconds, his hands are banging on the door and yanking down the antique French handle aggressively. ‘Detective, let me in please! Did you use the razor Maze made you? I told you not to do that! Are you hurt? Did you trip? Do you have a nosebleed? Dearie me, did you get yourself poisoned again? I- Just please tell me what’s wrong. Whatever it is, I want to help,’ he says, his voice going softer towards the end. With anyone else, he’s not easily alarmed, but the Devil’s girlfriend does tend to get herself into danger a little more often than the average person.

He hears her sigh, short and sharply. ‘If you want to help me, you need to calm down,’ she tells him in the same slow and placid voice she uses on people who are bold enough to point a gun at her. ‘I’m fine.’

He takes a deep, shaky breath, her words easing his nerves a little.

‘Then why are you acting so… strange? And why in Dad’s name are you hiding in my bathroom? I mean, bloody hell, Detective, I was mere seconds from filing an MPR!’

She snorts, murmuring something about a drama queen. Then silence. A deep breath.

‘Well,’ she finally says, still an annoyed edge to her tone. ‘‘Bloody hell’ is not that far off, actually.’

He knits his brow. ‘Excuse me?’

She sighs deeply behind the door. ‘It’s just, uhm, you know… lady stuff.’

He blinks, dumbfounded.

‘Oh,’ is what he replies.

He would tease her about the euphemism, pretend he doesn’t understand, but he understands. He understands everything. Thinking back to the night before, he remembers her acting a little oddly then as well - giggly and gleeful one moment, fractious and bitter the next. He’d blamed it on her tipsiness, but now that he thinks about it, and does the math, she did take him hostage on a similar emotional rollercoaster ride, one, two, three, circa four weeks ago. And, yes, four weeks before that, too. The first time, he’d thought it was the stress from having her mother stay over for the urchin’s birthday. The second time, he’d indicted the particularly troubling case they’d been working. But it hadn’t (solely) been Penelope Decker nor a frustrating and possibly record-breaking number of dead ends that had made the Detective chaotically jump around the emotional spectrum to the point he’d worried she was suffering from a light personality disorder. No, apparently, it was the tiny rascals known to humans as ‘hormones’ who’d been wreaking havoc in her brain, manipulating her emotions – then and now.

He hasn’t uttered anything apart from the one (cleverly phrased) syllable since the revelation, and she must interpret his silence as lack of comprehension, because she begins to explain the bloody thing: ‘You know, when a woman-’

‘Yes, thank you, Detective, I am familiar with the concept of menstruation. Quite popular method of torture in Hell, actually,’ he informs her, cutting her biology lesson short.

‘Tell me about it.’

‘Well, surprisingly, it’s mostly-’

‘That was a rhetorical- Never mind.’

He hears more than just annoyance in her voice now; she’s in pain. His chest aches again. ‘Is something wrong? I mean, I have met a lot of women whose deepest desires were to be knocked out cold during Aunt Flo’s monthly visit, but at least we know for certain there isn’t a mini-Satan inside you, ravaging your uterus,’ he points out in an attempt to cheer her up. It’s mostly a joke, because it shouldn’t be possible—isn’t possible—and yet a part of him is still exceedingly relieved that she, after three weeks of thoroughly unprotected (and sinfully delectable) sex with him, isn’t carrying, well, the Devil’s spawn.

‘Kinda feels like someone’s ravaging my uterus,’ she says with a groan. His heart starts pounding, hard and deafening. Dark spots appear before his eyes as blood leaves his head.

‘I- that’s not- what?’

‘No, Lucifer. Relax. I’m not pregnant.’ She tries to sound mild and calm, but he can tell she’s aggravated, and horribly pained. ‘It’s just cramps.’

‘Oh, right,’ he mumbles, a full-blown panic attack officially averted. Still, something in her voice makes his teeth grit and his eyes flare red. He wants to punish whatever in her body is putting her through such… torture, wants to torture it back. Or, since he can’t really do that, just have a quick chat with his father and whoever assisted him in designing the inhumanly excruciating menstrual cramps. (And humans think the Devil is the one who’s truly evil.) But he realises a family discussion might not actually help his suffering Detective right now, so instead he wills his voice to sound calm and asks her, ‘Is there anything I can do?’

As he waits, quite impatiently, for her answer, he pulls out his phone and googles ‘what to do when your girlfriend’s surfing the crimson wave.’ He’s about to tap on the top hit when she replies, ‘Uhm, well, yes, there is, actually.’ Her words both surprise and delight him. He loves to feel needed.

‘Lovely! Whatever you need, I’m here to fix it as your very own PA.’  He puts his phone back, letting his hand stay in his pocket, and clarifies, ‘Period Assistant.’ As usual, she rudely ignores his clever play on words.

‘Okay, I just need to know if you have any… stuff? Like, maybe Eve had a stash somewhere?’

‘Stuff?’ he asks, beyond clueless as to what she’s hinting at.

‘Yeah, you know-’ she starts explaining when he interrupts her, suddenly remembering. ‘Well, come to think of it, Eve did indeed have a stash!’

‘She did?’ She sounds relieved, and it makes his heart flutter a little. ‘Do you know where? ‘Cause I searched all your cabinets, but I couldn’t find anything.’

‘Uh, I’m pretty sure it’s in my bookshelf,’ he says, already turning to go find it. ‘Would you prefer marijuana or molly?’

‘For God’s sake, Lucifer!’ she screams behind him, the door between them doing very little to lower the sound. ‘I don’t need freaking party drugs! This,’ she says, breathing angrily. A couple of seconds pass. ‘This is what I need.’

A tissue slides out under the door. With a raised eyebrow, he bends down to pick it up and sees that she’s scribbled some words on it with what appears to be an eyeliner. He doesn’t know what any of them mean. Well, ‘ibuprofen’ and ‘don’t be an ass’ he understands, but the rest are foreign to him.

‘Right, are these strippers’ names, or…? I think I’ve made a deal with an Always once, actual-’

‘They’re feminine hygiene products, Lucifer! I need feminine hygiene products! I want you to go buy me a whole lot I can leave in here, so I’ll never need to have this conversation ever again!’ she shouts, fuming all of a sudden. ‘So go out, and get me some tampons and pads—and that’s pads with wings! ‘Cause I swear to God, Lucifer, if you come back with pads that do not have wings, I might actually cut off your d-’

‘Yes, we get the picture, Detective!’ he cuts her off, chuckling nervously. It’s not that he hasn’t experienced his partner pissed before (he calls it Tuesday as a matter of fact), but she’s never threatened to mutilate him. ‘Whatever you need,’ he appeases her, his voice sweet and velvety. ‘Anything else?’ He reads the list she has given him, carefully paying attention to every request this time. ‘Right, ibuprofen for the- yes, your cramps. I’m afraid I’ve run out, but I’m sure I can get some wherever I’ll find,’—he squints his eyes to focus on the words — ‘Always ultra thin super long pads with flexie-wings and… Tampax pearl compak super. I mean, who the Hell names these things? Not that it matters, of course. If that’s what you need, that’s what you’ll get,’ he assures her.

As he studies her order closely one more time, his stomach growls and he realises that neither of them has eaten anything yet. He immediately offers to bring her breakfast to her; surely, her body needs alle the strength it can get to overcome whatever unpleasant side-effects other than dysmenorrhea his oh, so benevolent father has so generously granted the female population of the Earth.

‘Yes, please,’ she croaks meekly behind the door in response to his offer. ‘That would be nice.’

He goes to retrieve the burritos from atop the piano where he’d dropped them in the haste of his search. Once he’s back with them, he—gently—knocks on the door. After a couple of seconds, he hears the key turn before she opens the door just enough to reach out her arm through the crack. He’s about to give her the branded paper bag, when he thinks twice of it and instead takes her hand in his, entwining their fingers. Softly, he strokes the back of her hand and pulls it lightly, prompting her to come out. When she opens the door a little more, the sight that greets him stings his heart. Exhaustion has coloured the skin beneath her eyes purple and her usually ocean blue eyes a matte grey. Her posture is oddly sunken, like she wants to curl into a ball, and her chest heaves as she breathes heavily. She looks truly miserable, and yet she’s still a sight for sore eyes, as she stands there, wearing one of his white Prada shirts and…

‘Are those… my boxers?’ he asks her with a raised eyebrow and a pleased smile. She looks down to where his eyes have just landed. ‘Well, yeah, I couldn’t- my own underwear…,’ she trails off. ‘I’ve lined them with paper towels, just so I don’t, you know. I hope it’s okay.’ She looks strangely sheepish. He leans over to place a kiss on her forehead. ‘Oh, it’s more than okay. It’s sexy,’ he tells her with a grin. ‘And quite cute, to be frank.’

She chuckles, replacing the ache in his chest with a pleasant, buzzing warmth. ‘I don’t think I’ve ever heard you use the word “cute” before,’ she points out, looking up at him through her long eyelashes as she leans her forehead against his. He notices the hint of a smile on her lips, and his own smile grows wider. ‘Well, you’ve never worn my underwear before,’ he reminds her, nuzzling her nose. ‘Mmm, that is true.’ Her voice is nothing but a whisper as she leans just an inch forward to get a kiss from him, which he happily he gives her.

‘Why don’t you draw yourself a nice, hot bath,’ he proposes, booping her nose. Then an image from Jaws invades his mind, and warily, but with a glint in his eyes, he adds, ‘Unless that would make a true bloodbath.’ She pulls away from him, slowly but purposefully. Untangling their hands, she crosses her arms across her chest (he tries not to notice how it makes her cleavage deliciously peek out behind his hardly buttoned shirt). She glares at him with a look which, historically, means they will be communicating exclusively in scoffs, snorts, death stares and well, I am truly sorry for whatever it is I’ve done but can we please forget about it and go back to being a dynamic duo’s the rest of the day. With a short yet undoubtedly disapproving shake of her head, she snatches the breakfast bag from his hand before slamming the door in his face. ‘Detective, I-’ he stammers as the gush of air hits his front, possibly making his yet to be tamed bed hair look even more scandalous.

He hears the rustling and crinkling of paper as she takes out her breakfast. ‘List,’ she demands sharply with her mouth full—and not in the way that had him gripping the sheets till his knuckles turned white last night. By the sound of her voice, he’ll need to do right by her if he wishes to ever experience that again.

‘Yes, darling, I’ll do nothing but my best,’ he promises her, casting a last glance at the list in question before folding it neatly into his pocket. He starts walking down the hall when the sound of his name makes him turn on his heels to face the door. He senses another reprimand and braces himself, softly offering a simple ‘Detective?’ in response.

‘Thank you.’ Her voice is sweet and apologetic, all aggravation suddenly gone.

‘What on-’ he mumbles under his breath, completely bewildered by her emotional U-turn. He’s wise enough not to comment on it, however, smiles instead, glad he can be of use, and playfully, yet still in a tone that assures her he means no harm, says, ‘Well, it’s the least I can do for my menstruating partner.’

‘Please stop saying “menstruating”,’ she tells him between bites, sounding a little brassed off again. He considers asking her why but decides against it, responding with a simple ‘Noted’ instead.

He hears the shower start running and decides to depart, wanting to be back before she’s done. ‘Alright then, off I go on my quest!’ he sings out, hoping it’s loud enough for her to hear over the shower spray, but the water stops and she calls out a ‘what?’. She has probably already stepped into the shower cabin, adorning his bathroom with all her wet and naked glory. Oh, to be a marble tile on the wall, getting an unobstructed view of her exquisite br-

‘Did you say something, honey?’ she calls again when he hasn’t replied. It’s not the first time she uses the term of endearment, but it still makes warmth pool low in his stomach. He’s so smitten—not a cell in his body can deny that anymore. Especially not the part of his body that’s currently straining his tailored slacks.

He clears his throat and shamelessly adjusts himself.

‘Hm? No, I was just announcing my exit. Try not to bleed to death while I’m gone, will you?’

‘I can’t- That’s not possi-’ she stammers behind him as he makes his way to the elevator, grabbing his jacket as he walks past the bar. Before she can finish whatever protest she’s trying to enounce, he’s already in the elevator, sending a text to Linda:

What in the ever-living Hell does ‘pads with wings’ mean?

Read part 2, ‘Granniest Panties’, here

[wild-springflower]

And I Can’t Wait to go Home

A coda to episode 3X15: Eddie Begins. Because it ripped my insides out and stabbed me with all the feels. But Buck and Eddie need to have a conversation.

Eddie winced as he stretched his stiff neck, thankful that as far as injuries went, his were mostly superficial. Especially given how dire the circumstances had actually been. He wasn’t an idiot, he knew he was lucky to be alive, and only he knew how close it had actually been, as he’d refused to tell anyone the exact details of what happened 35 feet below the ground.

The doctors seemed amazed, frankly, and couldn’t find any reason for him to stay in the hospital for more than one night. Which was why Buck was waiting silently in a chair by the wall, having brought a fresh pair of clothes for Eddie to change into.

With a sigh he turned back around, fully dressed, with what little of his things he’d had left after being whisked away to the hospital packed neatly into a bag. Except for his necklace, that he kept tucked safely in his front jean pocket, where he could feel the comforting weight pressed against his leg. Slowly he turned to his best friend; he’d been waiting patiently for the dam to burst, or the volcano to erupt, or whatever other metaphor fit the situation, but it seemed like he was going to have to pry.

“Okay,” Eddie began, trying to sound as non-confrontational as possible. “let’s hear it.”

Buck blinked, almost tiredly, and it seemed to take him a moment to register Eddie was talking to him. “Hear what?”

“Whatever it is that’s had you biting your tongue since I got here, yesterday.” Eddie stressed, making it clear that if Buck had been attempting to hide it from him, the efforts were unsuccessful.

Buck shook his head, still refusing to look Eddie’s direction, but finally, quietly, “That was stupid of you.”

Eddie hadn’t quite caught the words that had been so softly murmured they might as well have not been spoken, “What?”

“I said that was stupid of you!” Buck exploded with a rush of water and volcanic ash. He stood with such force his flimsy plastic chair almost toppled over, before he began pacing in front of the door. “I mean, cut the line? What kind of self-sacrificial moron does that?”

“Well, me, obviously.” Eddie said with a little chuckle, trying to lighten the mood, but he was completely serious when he looked over Buck’s tense form. “And I have a sneaking suspicion you would too.”

Buck huffed, but the barest hints of a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he nodded, “Yeah uh, Hen said as much.” The humor, however, was quickly washed away. “God, Eddie, did you even think before you did it? Consider the consequences at all?”

“No.” Eddie responded immediately, truthfully.

“Of course not.” Buck scoffed in response, arms crossing back over his chest.

Eddie felt a flare of defensive rage for his actions rise in his chest and couldn’t entirely control his tone as he responded. “Look, the only thing that went through my head was the fear in that kid’s eyes, and the feeling of his little fingers in mine before I got wrenched away. Leaving him alone, in the cold, in the dark. And I knew that if it was Christopher trapped down there, I would want the person sent to rescue him to do everything in their power to get him out. I couldn’t leave him down there.”

Buck nodded, he inhaled shakily, and when his eyes opened Eddie was shocked to see them lined with tears, “I know.” He nodded again, hands reaching up to rub at his face, then comb through his hair before ultimately falling by his sides as his head leaned back towards the ceiling.

For several moments the two stood in silence, Eddie watching carefully as Buck inhaled deeply, before his eyes finally opened and turned to face him on the exhale. He looked a little more composed than before, but was still clearly reigning his emotions in.

“I know.” He whispered, “It’s what makes you good at your job. You care, and you genuinely want to help however you can, and you’re willing to do whatever it takes to protect an innocent person, you won’t stop unless every option has been exhausted. Those are only some of the reasons that I lo-” Buck cut himself off with a quick click of his jaw, Eddie was almost worried he’d bitten his tongue in the process.

But his interest was piqued. He knew what Buck wanted to say, he felt the words resonating in his own chest loudly. It seemed like forever they’d been dancing around it, tiptoeing the line, with neither one of them willing to take the plunge and jump across. “That you what?” He whispered, tilting his head slightly as he stepped closer.

For several moments the entire world seemed to fade to the background, as Buck’s wide eyes met his. Buck’s stare was so intense, his eyes deep like an ocean that Eddie was more than happy to get lost in. At some point during their conversation the two had drifted ever closer together, like they always did. Sometimes it seemed like they were two opposite ends of a magnet, no matter how far they wandered always finding their way back.

In a sudden flurry of movement, Buck surged forward and pressed his lips against Eddie’s. It was warm, and tasted salty from tears, and it made Eddie go weak in the knees.

When they pulled apart Eddie realized Buck wasn’t the only one crying, he heaved a large breath, both shocked at the kiss and the warm water streaming steadily down his face. He’d closed his eyes for only a moment but when he opened them up again the uncertain face of his best friend stared back him, worrying at his bottom lip in trepidation.

Without a flash of doubt in his mind, Eddie leaned in, smiling happily as his lips once again brushed against Buck’s. Buck’s large hands fisted clumps of his shirt, refusing to let him move away. Eddie’s own hands moved to drag through Buck’s messy hair, before settling over the back of his neck, fingers framing the man’s face.

“Hey,” Buck finally whispered, when they broke for air. “I need to say something.”

“Of course.” Eddie said, wrapping his arms around Buck’s waist.

Buck swallowed, “You, Edmundo Camilo Liam Diaz,” he began, voice so thick with emotion it made Eddie start crying all over again, “are a brave idiot, and I could not be more proud of you, but you better not do something like that again, you hear me?”

Eddie blinked, there were so many emotions flooding through his system, but somehow the thought at the forefront of his brain was, “Wow, that was really good pronunciation.”

Buck pulled back, shaking his head in disbelief even as he laughed wetly in amusement. “Is that what you took away from this?”

“No, no of course not, I’m sorry.” Eddie dipped his head to catch Buck’s downcast gaze, “Hey, I am sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. And I promise to try and not do something like that in the future. Okay?”

He hoped it was enough, and for the few terrifying seconds it took Buck to nod softly he had been worried it wouldn’t be. But deep down, Eddie knew he couldn’t make a promise like that and realistically keep it, and Buck knew it too.

“Okay.”

Eddie had no control over the laugh that escaped him, he was feeling so many different emotions he couldn’t even possibly begin to name them all. Finally, he sniffled and looked back at Buck with a coy smile, “You still didn’t say it you know.”

Buck pulled back, his own eyes just barely beginning to dry, “Are you serious?”

“Oh yeah.”

“You’re insufferable.” Buck said with a wide smile as he pulled playfully against Eddie’s shirt.

“And you, Evan Buckley, are perfect.” Eddie whispered, cupping Buck’s chin to pull him in for a chaste kiss before resting their foreheads together, closing his eyes and breathing deeply through his nose. “And for the record, I’d be more than happy to say it back.”

Eddie felt more tears pool above his thumbs and knew they must look like such a mess. They were so engrossed in each other and their conversation, neither noticed the tell-tale clack of crutches against hard floor until Christopher’s soft voice was filtering through the doorway.

“Daddy? Why are you crying?”

Buck pulled back immediately, but he didn’t go far.

“Oh, hey buddy!” Eddie said, trying to wipe away some of the evidence on his face. “It’s okay, we’re just, really happy.”

Christopher took a half step forward, head bent upwards at the pair. “That you made it out okay?”

Eddie nodded, but also didn’t want to lie to his kid, “That, among other things.”

“What other things?”

Buck stifled a snicker behind his hand, shaking his head when Eddie looked to him for assistance.

Silently cursing the man he loved, Eddie sighed, “Just, something we’ll talk about later okay?”

Christopher seemed unphased, “Does it have to do with you kissing Bucky?”

Eddie’s brain stuttered to a standstill, his mouth opening and closing several times as he tried to form a coherent thought. Buck’s face was red all the way to the tips of his ears, and judging by the burning Eddie knew his wasn’t much better. “Uh, you saw that did you?”

“Mmhmm.” Chris nodded with a self-satisfied smirk.

Eddie shook his head in fond exasperation, “What am I supposed to do with you kid?” He opened his left arm to make room, “Well come on, get over here.”

Chris giggled, and practically launched himself into Eddie’s waiting arm. He easily hoisted Christopher off the ground and pulled him tight against his chest, using his other hand to squeeze Buck.

He felt as Buck maneuvered his arms from where they’d been pressed to his chest to snake around his and Christopher’s backs. When he dipped his head against Eddie’s collarbone, Eddie couldn’t resist the temptation to kiss the hair that was tickling his neck. Then he turned slightly so he could nuzzle Chris with his nose. “I love you both.”

“Love you daddy.” Christopher whispered back.

Buck just nodded his head against Eddie’s chest gently, but Eddie knew the meaning behind it.

Buck’s fingers were digging tightly into his shirt, warm tears staining the light fabric dark, and Christopher’s crutches were pushing against his bruised ribs, but Eddie wasn’t about to stop the hug.

It was messy, and perfect, and not at all what he had ever expected it to be. But he’d meant it, he’d meant it unconditionally and without exception. He would always fight to come back to his family, no matter how it changed, or where they were, he had them, and he loved them. And he was never letting them go.

[mysticalandenchanting]

Sui Generis

Summary:

Azriel is brooding. Luckily a certain someone comes along to to pull him right out of it. And maybe also turn his whole life around and make him doubt everything. Oneshot.

~~~~~

AN: This is a concept I had for Elriel that practically wrote itself. Minus a couple hours. Please let me know what you think!

~~~~~

Azriel

For hundreds of years I have loved the same female. I thought that no one could possibly compare to her and even though nothing has ever come from it—as I knew nothing ever would—I continued to love her anyway.

I didn’t mind. Loving Mor was easy, had always been. She was always so strong, righteously good, and radiant in a way that I couldn’t forget. She would always be someone that I looked up to, admired.

I had wished a million times that there would be moment that we shared, a moment so pure and affectionate that the mating bond would snap into place. But it never did.

Me and Mor had our moments over the years but nothing so absolute to convey what I felt for her, or any indication that she felt 100% the same.

That's all that I wanted.

Perhaps that was all that she wanted as well, a mating bond to signify something so permanent and whole that she would never have to look again. Something worth waiting for.

If that were the case, then she wouldn’t settle for anything less and I couldn’t blame her for that— even if I was less.

“Azriel?”

I looked up from my perch by the front window, my shadows dispersing as I realize they almost fully encompassed me. I had lost myself in thought in the quiet of the house after everyone had left, Feyre and Rhys retiring for the night and Cas and Mor leaving to go to Rita’s. I had refused the invite not feeling up to it, one of the very few times I had actually done so. They hadn’t batted an eye, though, before they left arm in arm.

Now Elain stood before me with a curious look on her face, still waiting for me to respond.

I cleared my throat, a little unnerved to be caught so red-handedly brooding by myself staring after where Mor and Cas had left.

“Yes?”

“Are you alright?” She asked affectionately.

“I’m fine,” I nodded to her in assurance and thanks, “ just a little lost in my thoughts.”

“Anything that you would want to talk about?”

I thought about it as she stood across from me with a look of genuine interest. Elain and I had become good friends over the past couple of months. I liked her. She was kind and sweet.

She had gone through a lot this last year with being forced to turn fae, given the gift of sight, immediately mated to a male, her engagement being broken, kidnapped, and even having to stab someone. And through it all she was still just as caring.

I hadn’t exactly confided in her about my situation with Mor and a plenty other things but she was easy to talk to and I had found myself on many occasions telling her about myself. It was as refreshing as it was unsettling. I was a spy and a shadowsinger after all, keeping to myself was second nature.

Elain was confusing in that way, in that she was easy to be around and talk to and yet there were moments I had nervously second guessed myself in how I should act toward her. Like when I had struggled for days on whether I should respect her privacy when Lucien first came to Velaris or even when I had debated whether or not to get her a Winter Solstice gift to the point that I had straight up asked Rhys about it. A decision I had regretted after the absolutely perfect gift she had given me that still brought a smile to my face months later. “I’m not sure I would be good company tonight,” I admitted.

“I’m sure you would. You have always had a certain gravitas to you that I have liked.”

Fondness surged through me as I smiled and gestured to chairs by the window.

“So what is on your mind tonight?”

I debated telling the truth, wondered if she had already guessed. When it came to Mor, I couldn’t always be as level-headed as I would like.

“I was actually thinking about the mating bond.” I leaded.

Her eyes widened in surprise at my admission, “And what about it?”

“If I would ever find it. Them.” I looked out the window again, toward Mor and to avoid eye contact.

“Do you want to find it?”

I look back to her, hesitating, but unable to stop the answer coming from my mouth, “Yes.”

Somehow admitting it out loud felt like a relief, like a small weight off my shoulders. It wasn’t something I could so easily admit to Rhys or Cas or any of the others.

“What is it like?” I continued. I knew this wasn’t a pleasant topic for Elain and that she would not understand my longing for something that had been forced onto her but I was curious.

“Its…” she started, looking to me, knowing I would want an unbiased answer, “It’s like a tether tied from you to them. A constant awareness that they are out there and urge to pull the tether closer when they’re far away. Yet, at the same time, it’s so subtle that it can be easy to forget about it. I imagine it's what it's like to forget what it is to be by yourself with no one knowing where you are after you’ve spent so much time in the presence of others.”

“After 500 years, I’m sure I have experienced that feeling at some point.”

She looked at me thoughtfully, “Why do you want the mating bond?”

“I suppose it’s part of being fae, to want that experience of finding your other half. To know who you're supposed to be going through your long life with.”

She makes a skeptical face at that, “That there is someone who will understand and love every aspect of you and leave you without a doubt about it.”

“I don’t imagine it being like that with Lucien.” She admitting, not entirely understanding as she brushed a golden brown lock from her face and tucking it behind her ear and leaning forward in her chair.

“Yeah sure, I know there are good and bad experiences with the mating bond but it’s suppose to be an admission of fate.”

She smiles, “You mean like Feyre and Rhys.”

“Like Feyre and Rhys.” I admit, reluctantly smiling back. They were a perfect example of what the mating bond was suppose to be. And to have that so near had prickled at how much I had wanted that. I sighed.

“If you hadn’t been matched with Lucien when you had been, would it have been something that you would have wanted?” I asked, to distract myself by how immeasurably far I was from having the bond myself, especially with the female I wanted.

Elain took a second to think about her answer, brushing her hands down the skirts of her dress to smooth them out. She looked as elegant as she always did with her cream colored dress that was overlaid with an intricately detailed lace and only accessorized with a string of pink pearls around her neck. Her hair lay wavy with loose braids tying back the fronts of her hair. It always amazed me how we must look together, like polar opposites, light and dark, night and day, and yet there were many ways that we were similar.

“I think,” Elain started, finally gathering her thoughts, “that If I could have chosen, then I wouldn’t want the bond at all.”

I lifted my eyebrows, a little astonished. Maybe not so similar.

“I’m sure Lucien is a good male and he has put in an effort to try and get to know me and I know it has bothered Feyre to no end that I wouldn’t give him any sort of chance, but… it’s just not what I want.

“I truly loved Graysen and I thought he truly loved me as well and it had hurt a lot when he had turned his back on me, but I’m grateful now. It took some time but it made me see in a way that I wouldn’t have seen for many years otherwise that he didn’t love me the way that I want to be loved.

“And with Lucien, I don’t know if there could have been something there or not but whatever might have happened was ruined by the bond to where I know he couldn’t have loved me the way I want.

“I want to love and be loved so purely and wholeheartedly that nothing could ever come between us, no circumstance, no obstacle. What I want is something stronger than the mating bond. Something built from nothing because there is a beauty in the choice and a power in the unconditionality of it all.

“And whoever that is for me, I won’t need a tether to tie me to them, to make me constantly aware of them and always want them closer.”

She finished with a small smile and a look of wishful contentment in her brown eyes.

I felt like I couldn’t breath and that something had definitely lodged itself in my throat. Also at some point my heartbeat had started picking up and was ready to jump out of my chest, it was hammering so hard.

Every word she had said had burned its way in my mind, leaving me feeling utterly stunned. I didn’t know what to say, what to feel, what to do.

A slight blush spread to her cheeks as she looked down, probably because I was gaping like a fool, “I’m sorry, I’m just spouting off about my beliefs on love.”

I coughed lightly and swallowed trying to free my throat but my voice still comes out quiet as raspy, “No—no, It’s uh… It’s okay.”

“It’s getting pretty late, I should go to bed,” she rises from her seat smiling sweetly, “Thank you for the good company.”

“Goodnight, Elain,” I watch her every step across the room and up the stairs until she rounds the corner out of sight. I let out a breath of air that I hadn’t realized I had been holding as I slouch back in the chair crushing my wings slightly.

I sat there for quite some time more, although, while before I had stared out the window, deep into the night, now I sat and stared at the staircase.

Something about what she had said had resonated with me so deeply that I didn’t quite understand what it was. I wanted to though. 

I wanted to understand why my heart was still racing, why I couldn’t seem to stand just yet.

Whatever I was feeling at the beginning of this night was long gone. Elain had banished it as easily as if she were just plucking weeds out of the garden.

She had also planted something there too, while she was at it. I wondered what it would bloom to be.

[laws-yellow-submarine]

🌠Shooting Stars🌠

An entry for the One Piece Summer challenge!

Law x Reader

Prompt: Stargazing Word Count: 1.6k

Synopsis: While travelling on the Polar Tang, you don't usually stay afloat for long. However, a starry night is too tempting...

♡

Summer.

Does it really matter?

Your head prompted on your palm, you were lost in the vagueness of the ocean. It was one of the few days that the Polar Tang would stay afloat in the middle of the sea. Actually, tonight, was a special night; the sky was a dark canvas painted with falling stars, decorated with brushstrokes of unmethodical, colourful patterns and dancing spots everywhere.

Even the air, it brought the salty aroma on deck, filling your lungs with it and cheering you up. You would never get used to it... and it was always such a pain to let it out of your system...

Travelling in a submarine had forever been quite depressing. The empty spaces were blocking any source of light from entering, therefore transforming themselves into a cloistered prison. You felt so cooped up sometimes, like a caged bird. Not even the palliative company of your nakama could alleviate the gloomy mood that was slowly eating you away.

Every single time you disappeared into the depths of  the bottomless sea, it was as if the time froze. There was no morning, noon, nor afternoon. There was no spring, summer, autumn, nor winter. There was only the black of night.

Unlit and shadowy, it swallowed everything in its wake, you included.

You had always lived in the open air, enjoyed the blessings of nature, the warmth of the sun caressing your body and somehow driving all your preoccupations away. That's the very reason you became a pirate, to begin with.

If it weren't for those silver eyes, you wouldn't be here. Trafalgar Law, the Surgeon of Death, had managed to get his hands gripped around your heart, squeezing for all they were worth, leaving you aching with longing and a breath stuck in your throat. You knew he was no good but, there was something in him... something... hypnotising, that you simply couldn't ignore.

Even though the feeling of drowning in the blackness between the walls had been torturing you ever since you begun your journey, the mysterious glimmer in his look dragged you out of your fear and anguish. He was always by your side, in his own way.

A great Captain, indeed.

Yet, you couldn't omit the fact that something was seriously troubling him the past few weeks. He always had a tendency to isolate himself in his cabin, reading books and making research on medical grounds -- his muttering jargon under his breath confirming that -- but he didn't use to be that distant.

Especially tonight, when the scenery above you was remarkable to the point where one could literally gawk with their mouth hanging open. He would never miss a rain of falling stars.

"They remind of someone... special." he would always say.

You wanted to ask him, delve deeper into his obscure past, yet, he was too reserved. He kept his feelings and thoughts to himself, you highly doubt he could trust even his first mate. However, it was evident in his indolent eyes, an agony, a tremendous feeling, deeply rooted in his soul.

That you could tell, for the eyes are the window to the soul... And this man's eyes... they held many sorrowful secrets...

What with all this thoughts swirling around your head, you lost your grip on the reality, so you never noticed the lovable white bear of the crew standing next to you.

Bepo.

You never understood why he would want to become a pirate and leave his life in the Mokomo Dukedom behind, a place fraught with peace-loving, cheerful creatures. Maybe he was curious to see what was beyond that land.

Come to think of it, the entire crew is quite absurd.

But I love them anyways.

The way the salty breeze messed with his fur was making him look even more adorable.

"Aren't those stars beautiful?" he asked, breaking the awkward silence.

"Yes, they are."

The previous silence took over once again, until...

"Uh, Bepo... Do you know where the Captain is? I mean..." you tried to sound as indifferent as possible, "...he never misses this."

You saw no reaction for some seconds.

"He was working in his cabin... I guess he'll come soon..."

A voiceless nod of agreement and then you were sinking in your thoughts anew.

*

*

*

You didn't have the foggiest idea how long you had been staring at the starry horizon. The moon seemed gigantic now, the only embellishment that begged to differ in that symmetry of white and black.

Bepo had departed some minutes ago, because he couldn't stare at the full moon for too long, as he couldn't control his Sulong form completely.

So, for the moment, you were standing alone behind the railing of the submarine, admiring the view and the expansion of dark blue stretching in front of you. It was so relaxing, you couldn't get enough of it.

Until a certain tattooed hand was placed on your shoulder.

"Oi, (Y/n)."

You turned to face the long awaited raven-haired pirate.

"Yes, Captain?"

His touch immediately abandoned you and his grey eyes narrowed. "How many times do I have to tell you? You don't have to call me captain. Just call me Law."

You tried to look away, but he was pinning you with his intense and demanding look. You couldn't help but simply nod to avoid any more of... this.

I could easily drown in these pools of silver...

He stood beside you, supporting himself on the railing while he took an eyeful of the scene ahead. At first, you didn't pay too much attention to him but tried to focus elsewhere. You didn't manage to stay like that for long, though.

You took glances of your captain now and then, curious to witness all his reactions to this boon. You saw his grey orbs meeting the pale one in the sky and glowing in delight, then a weak smile bending his lips.

He looked at the moon as if it was a person; a person he held dear.

"Law."

He averted his star-kissed gaze slowly, reluctantly, until it locked with yours. "Yes?"

"That special someone you had told me about... do you want to talk about them?" you asked timidly, eyeing him expectantly, albeit you practically knew you'd get  negative answer.

"It's a very old and long story."

Is he actually going to talk about it?!

He paused for some good moments, making you reasonably think that he had no intention of giving more details, but... he had.

He didn't exactly give you chapter and verse of his backstory, but he explained how he lost his entire family and hometown due to Amber Lead Syndrome, how he ended up in the Donquixote Pirates, how the noble and kind Cora-san sacrificed himself to save him....

You always sensed he'd got a dark background but, that was just too dark. How could a child possibly endure all this losses and trauma at once?

However, he never ceased his recounting. He went on, revealed more about his experiences, his life. Until, a shocking exposure was made and pretty much explained everything.

The Will of D.

He, Trafalgar Law, was carrying the tremendous Will of D. Well, that pretty much accounted for everything.

"But why are you telling me all this?"

He shifted, his grey eyes boring into yours in a vertiginous labyrinth.

"I'll be leaving soon." he replied, his tone colder than before.

"What?! Why?!"

"I need to take care of certain things... and now that we are in the New World... you know that we either go against or ally with the Emperors..."

"And whose side are we on?" you enquired, still struggling to process all these information.

"It's too early for you to know..." he grabbed you by your shoulders, gazing fiercely at you, "...but you needn't worry..." he said, his voice softening as well as his sharp features.

A hefty sigh escaped from your lips, before you glanced at the stars. You were fixated there, observing them make their steady descent, leaving trails of glimmering starlight behind.

"Do you want to make a wish?"

Law's frown was followed by a chuckle. "Isn't that too childish?"

"No, come on! The shooting stars don't stay for long!"

He closed his eyes in defeat, probably wishing for something. His hands hadn't abandoned your shoulders, not even then. You waited patiently for the moment his steel grey gaze met yours and you almost melted on the spot.

"What did you wish for?"

"I can't tell you..." he reminded you, his lips stretching into a mischievous smile.

Right.

"...but I can show you." was all he said, before his soft lips landed on yours.

Taken by surprise, could be an understatement. It felt so surreal, it gave you the impression you were hallucinating. It was all slow and passionate, with the dull light of the stars showering you, the low splash of the waves resonating and the slight rocking of the Polar Tang dolling it all up.

Hell, even the scratching of his goatee against your glabrous chin was alluring. You were swimming in a pool of bliss by now, unable and unwilling to get out. You knew it wasn't going to last long yet, you flung yourself into it. You were only a couple of hours away from being trapped in that cage of darkness again, but now you didn't seem to care.

Now you knew.

Summer matters.

Because I'm the summer to his winter heart.

~End~

----- OMG this was so cute <3 Law, shooting stars, and kissing are like...three of my favorite things lmao “I can’t tell you...but I can show you” GAH! I died, my face has been squished in happiness, and I’m still squealing. Great job, hun!! 

@doctorgerth​ 

[niuniente]

so uh...what's the difference between religion and spirituality exactly?i know there's a diference but i never quite got it.

That’s a good question! I hope I can answer if well. In some context they can overlap but it’s more about the individual. A spiritual person can be very judging and close minded, same as a very fundamental religious person, and a very religious person can be accepting and loving as a higher level spiritual person :3 So we can’t really say that ALL people in group X are like this or that.

Religion has dogmas and someone telling you what you need to do and how you do it. It tells you what to think and has lots of different rituals and hoops you have to jump in order to be a good member of the said religion. How keenly and deeply the person is into their own religion is an important factor as someone can be casually believing in their God(s) and live otherwise like anyone else, while someone else is extremely fundamental and follows every single small detail to its core in order to perform the religion in a way that it’s accepted from their own point of view.

Spirituality believes in energy that created all. Often people call it just The Source or The Light. It’s unconditionally loving and thus requires nothing from anyone; no rules, no dogmas, no laws, no judgement. It doesn’t expect people to follow anything nor it has any concept of sin. If you do something harmful, you might suffer because of it but only because certain choices have certain results in the physical world and in the spiritual laws. Everything is based on learning and understanding through experience and this cycle goes on and on as long as the soul wants to. Reincarnation, parallel universes, all spirits, respecting nature, energies, energy healing etc. all belongs under spirituality. Free will is important factor and not even the Source can intervene with anyone’s free will. The world is seen as a place for enjoyment, study and greater understanding of oneself and others. When you learn more about yourself, when you learn more compassion for yourself, you can radiate these towards others.

Where religions tell you what to do, the spirituality asks you to learn who you are. What do you fear? What do you want? Why do you fear and why do you want? How do you want to live your life? What are your morals? What makes you happy, what makes you sad and why these things make you happy and sad? What does it tell about you? What are your strengths? Where you still need to learn more compassion towards yourself or/and others? Where areyou going against your true self, your own essence, by following or performing something which hurts you, belittles you, takes your power away?

In religions, you give your power to the God(s) and the institution. In spirituality, you learn to take your own power back, stop pleasing others, learn from your mistakes with compassion and most importantly learn to accept yourself as you are. There’s nothing shameful about you. Nothing bad or wrong about you. The source doesn’t punish anyone (like religions’ God(s) do),, because everything in the physical world is more or less fake. Everything and everyone is love down to their core but this world is so low in vibration that it’s easy to dwell into negativity and do harmful things to others and yourself.

Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed and many other spiritual masters were spiritual the first. On their spiritual teachings, religions were formed. These religions were turned into manipulation and for greed in many cases, but an individual can be like Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed or any other spiritual master was; loving, understanding, knowing that the Source loves us and learning to take responsibility for your own acts - this includes thinking and how you view the world and yourself.

NOW, that being said, a spiritual person can be judging. They can say that the spirituality needs to be performed a certain way in order it to be right kind of spirituality. That’s low level understanding and it’s OK if it serves the person and helps them to be a better person somehow (aka while they are still bad, they’d be worse without the spiritual life style they have). But if they go preaching to others, it’s the same as any fundamental religion which says “My way or sin”.

For me, the spirituality is absolute freedom and absolute responsibility for your own self. You learn to love yourself, face your fears, transform your traumas and negative views with love and respect. You don’t listen to others and do what they want you to do, but you turn within and see/feel what feels right to you. It’s OK to ask help and insight but in the end, you trust your own inner feeling and act upon it - even if it broke someones heart, cut some people off or changed your life completely. You are your first and prior responsibility and when you have your attention on you, you are rejuvenated and energized, and then you can direct this attention to others.

It’s a very lonely path asking lot of courage and willingness to go against the norms. And get a few enemies and being judged as the black sheep of the herd. Curiously you question everything, see where it comes from and if you want to join in it or not. You are compassionate with yourself and understand what many (majority of the people) will not get you and that’s OK.

Spirituality is also understanding that what works for you might not work for someone else. That your views and ways are yours and you need to let others have theirs. It’s OK to share information but leave the choosing for other people. You never judge any situation or person (the best way you can, because sometimes we need to rant. We need to accept our feelings and emotions and let them flow, otherwise we’re not accepting ourselves). You understand what everyone has their reason for acting the way they do. It doesn’t mean that you accept everything and just shrug “whatever”. No. You say “This is not right. I will not accept it as it goes against my values/morals/views. But I understand why you/they are doing it, where it stems from. I don’t judge these people, only their actions. A person who is comfortable with their own self and in touch with who they are wishes no ill or harm to anyone.”

This is how I’d explain spirituality.

It comes from within and you find out your own ways of being and existing. Religion comes from outside and tells you how you need to perform your life and belief system. Religions themselves aren’t bad and they do lots of good, too. They offer love, compassion, understanding and humanitarian help for many. If you are happy and content in your religious views - or as an agnostic - then it’s the right choice for you! No one gets to say that you’re on the wrong path if it works for you.

To understand more, I recommend reading near-death experiences at NDERF and also check spiritual teachers in Youtube, like Anita Moorjani, Louise Hay, Tarot Priest, Marion Lemos etc. Take with you what resonates, leave the rest.