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lovelessrage · 9 months ago

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Loveless: A Loveless Review

[Plain Text: Loveless: A Loveless Review]

Trigger Warnings For: Discussion of sex, sex negativity, platonormativity, arophobic tropes, and anti-loveless rhetoric

Disclaimer/Disclosure: I couldn’t finish this book. This will factor heavily into the review, as it has to do with how some scenes, details, and the writing quality were just very hard to sit with and continue. I got about 50% through, so I didn’t just skim pages and get back to you on it.

You might guess I don’t think of this book highly if I had to put it down and stop reading. This would be correct. However, I have more in depth thoughts than that. If you like this book and don’t want to read negative things about it, that's fine, but I implore you to read it anyway. A lot of the problems in this book are present in a lot of creations I see and can be a valuable teaching lesson; loveless people aren’t out to ruin your fun because biases got questioned.

Alright. Enough disclaimers. Review under the cut.

The Bingo Card: Surprisingly, Not A Strikeout

People who have been following me for a while may remember I mentioned I went into reading this book with a bingo card in hand: Loveless and Tired Bingo, a sheet made by yours truly. I did not get Bingo with this book! I did, however, fill 17 spaces out of 25; it just didn’t happen to line up, not because the book passed with flying colors. We’ll return to the Bingo Card at the end of this post to see what it looked like. But, letting you know, that’s a rate of 68% of all squares ticked on Loveless and Tired Bingo. Not looking so hot.

Let’s start with the meat of the post so nobody has to read it all if they just wanted my representation opinions. Other things like writing will be shuffled down for your convenience.

Edit: Past Scowl is a liar and a fraud and did not have maims glasses on, and misread the bingo card! I did get Bingo. Oops. Point still stands because the data is the same, I just gave this book a sliver more credit than it deserved for not getting one.

Platonormativity, Envy, and The Loneliness Whirlpool

If this book had a full course meal, normativity would ironically be a key ingredient in every plate on the menu. Loveless has a platonormativity problem that confronts you from page 1, more realistically before that; the blurb!

[Text ID: From the marvelous author of Heartstopper comes an exceptional YA novel about discovering that it's okay if you don't have sexual or romantic feelings for anyone... since there are plenty of other ways to find love and connection. /End ID]

I promise not all my complaints will be raving about one sentence, but this kinda encapsulates the entirety of my problem with Loveless: Georgia Warr is not supported in her own novel. Loveless is a deeply insecure book that many can relate to, but, really… does it alleviate that insecurity, or just cover it up? There’s an unspoken “but” to every part of Loveless’ philosophy about aspec people [especially aroaces], where they must have platonic love to make them whole, to “fix” and “redeem” their lacking attractions. This has always bothered me, and it’s not an uncommon opinion in the community, unfortunately.

Aroaces aren’t allowed to simply “be” – they must be more. They must be so platonically invested you forget they’re aroace, because they have all this other type of love to give the world. It’s reflective of a view on a community sourced from hurt and exclusion, of someone trying to rebuild their worth on a new forefront. It doesn’t make it less of what it is, though: it’s a “yes they’re valid, but” statement that serves as the backbone for far too many aspec-focused media.

Georgia is a deeply unsure character, and there’s nothing wrong with her being this way; she’s a fictional character made to represent a journey of acceptance, not a real person with the ability to inflict harm on other real people. She does reflect the author’s biases in many ways and many points on the same token, though, acting as a mouthpiece. This often comes in Georgia’s insistence her friendships are simply stronger than other relationship types, as well as her reflexive tendencies to judge the friendless.

One of my many, many hurdles in this book had to do with Rooney [someone save her and half the cast from this novel, please], when the group realizes she’s only a socialite, not really a long-term relationship holder, and the entire room devolves into silent judgment. Georgia does not defend her newfound friend, simply noting she thought differently of her. What about Rooney not having many friends changes her outgoing personality? It doesn’t. It’s simply the fact that Rooney being friendless makes her weird, as with many things Rooney is unfairly demonized for in this novel.

The emphasis on friends doesn’t end here, and persists through the entire novel, practically. It is the main focus, when it isn’t talking about Georgia’s disinterests, and her friend circle is very important to her. All of this is fine. What isn’t fine is the expectation and casual enforcement of friendship being all you have, so you must seize it; this book, even though I wouldn’t recommend it, is often given as The Book on being aroace, but I wouldn’t agree [you’re free to tell me I can’t have an opinion on that if I’m not aroace, but at least read on before deciding anything, alright, official hear me out warning]. One, not all aroaces are alloplatonic, and two, this:

Why Is This Book Written Like A Workplace Safety Seminar

It’s a very… cookie-cutter way to be aroace, and cookie cutter aroaces exist in real life! The rep should exist, no doubt, and shouldn’t be taken away from anyone. It’s not my problem per se that the book is semi-stereotypical. What my problem is has to do with something I see a lot.

The book falls into many of the pitfalls of what I’m dubbing “the pamphlet effect”: when a novel, show, etc. continuously needs to halt the plot to remind the audience this character is different, and explains this to you in a way that resembles an educational pamphlet at a pride event. Georgia Warr feels like an example given to explain a concept more than a person, and I feel bad for her because of how little this book engages with her actual character when it shines through. I understand the book is primarily centered on her journey through the spectrum, but very little is given to make Georgia’s experience unique outside of one scene off the top of my head. Her interests, hobbies, and unique feelings only seem to play a role when it comes time to be an author mouthpiece on slutshaming for fun and sport; only one scene, the forced kiss with Jason when rehearsing the play, really blends her life experiences with her aroace experiences.

Georgia feels designed to be an everywoman, and it was very disappointing to say the least. Very little of the book actually feels like I’m with her, or learning about her unique take on being aroace as a theatre fan or young adult figuring things out; it just feels like Georgia [and the reader] are being dragged through the Cliff’s Notes version of what it is to discover being aroace, rather than a look at how a character like this might feel differently than others on a fuller, whole scale. She’s a hole that can fit most shapes into it, which makes her broadly relatable, but not as fun or engaging to read about if you don’t fit precisely in the demographic Georgia is for; even if you do, is there much to engage with beyond “I’m like that too!”?

This isn’t just a Georgia problem, either, as many, many characters in this book are walking stereotypes or very flat. But, we’ll get into that later [if you want to get into it now, skip to Writing Problems, Oh My!].

The Fingering In The Room: Loveless’ Weird Ideas About Sex

Alright, if you’re sex repulsed and braved the storm to get some insight, this next paragraph is just complete confusion about this book’s sex scenes and talking about some of the details within. If you want to skip that, skip the next paragraph.

Why is everybody fingering each other? Fingering is fine and it feels good, but it is basically the only sexual act this book knows outside of making out with tongue. Someone having sex in Loveless? They better have clipped their nails because at least two are going in. It feels like a point of research that was skipped because it was unimportant, which. Pretty much, yes. But when you’re someone who pays very close attention to sex scenes because you’re of the opinion they can have artistic value, as well as conveying the author’s views on sexuality, I come away with “is fingering what Oseman thinks young adults do?”. Anyways. Something I noticed.

[Okay sex repulsed people, you’re good. No in depth descriptions beyond this point, just the word “sex”.]

I should’ve titled this section “In Defense of Rooney Bach” because oh this poor girl. Oh you are just there to be gawked at.

First off, let’s begin in a good place: this book always has to clarify it isn’t slutshaming its characters, followed by slutshaming its characters. Rooney is, for the uninitiated, very sexually active. Georgia’s envy often leads to a judgemental, close minded view of Rooney that often pins her sex life as “too much” – something many sexually active women get villainized for. It strikes me immediately how Rooney is constantly picked on for her sexuality as a woman in ways no male characters who aren’t asexual either are treated. None of the men she flirts with or spends time with are reprimanded or “held to account” by the book; Rooney alone is breaking the rules. Rooney’s descriptions are often bookended with a disclaimer that she isn’t being called a slut, she’s just like one, which… This is slutshaming. You can’t just say you aren’t doing it to not be doing it.

Rooney is also a victim of a very arophobic trope, and one that is also misogynistic: the Broken Woman. Why is Rooney sexually active? A rough breakup that broke her heart and makes her fear intimacy on account of potentially being wrong again. Sure, sex feels good, but explicit focus is made on the fact she is only not engaging with romance because she tried and it didn’t work. For a few chapters, admittedly I was hoping for a book where an aroace and aroallo can get past some differences and expand each other's worldviews; what I got was Georgia thinking pretty poorly of Rooney through unaddressed envy and sex negativity, and Rooney being made to only like hookups because she’s messed up. Because of course a woman could only enjoy that if she had a negative experience that forced her on the path!

Also, another scene I didn’t like was Georgia and Pip watching Rooney have sex while she is completely unaware of their presence? Jason leaves as soon as he notices, but the two of them watch before Pip makes a comment on how disgusting it is and Georgia agrees. I’m shocked at how little this is brought up as being violating or creepy.

If it was a better book, I would have expected it to result in some kind of furthered conversation about boundaries; it could've been a place for Georgia to start establishing what she likes and dislikes, starting with Rooney preferably keeping her out of her sex life when she’s able. Instead, this event gets brought up solely for jokes, and for a motivation for Pip to start hating Rooney, despite her insistence it wasn't because of the hookup and she isn’t slutshaming. Always a great sign when that needs to be clarified. This is a PSA for everyone: you should not need to clarify you aren’t trying to slutshame. If you feel the need to do so, you are probably being sex negative.

This book isn’t very fond of sexually active people, nor is it kind to characters that are. I can understand why being asexual and sex repulsed is representation people would want, but I also think there’s many, many ways to write it without making it an exercise in shame.

Ironically Kinda Arophobic In Some Parts

This is a short section of a thing I noticed, hated, and had as a contributing factor for my ending early: this book loves aphobic tropes. There’s already the trope against aroallos of not needing romance because of being broken into only liking sex, but also the problem with Pip and Rooney.

I’m a lesbian, for clarification, and I’m saying from experience that I hate the archetype of the angry, jealous lesbian. It’s everywhere. It’s in this book. Pip, upon even the idea of being rejected, starts berating and demeaning the girl who turned her down, even if she was only turned down in her head. The book passes it off as a lighthearted, funny story that Pip got so mad at an ex-crush she was suspended for throwing an apple at their head. Why do I bring this up?

Is it not ringing any bells that this is arophobic? That a character so hostile to romantic rejection is treated as a joke? Many, many aros, and queer people in general, have experienced violence for turning down someone. It’s a serious issue for aros and a real fear in rejecting someone. I found it incredibly hard to read and sit through as everybody passes off Pip’s tendencies to do this to the women that reject her as a silly, funny Pip moment and not a major issue for the aspec community. I don’t care if it’s enemies to lovers, because it doesn’t really feel good to read at all. The only tension is built off the back of something I’ve experienced in real life and many others have as well.

Lovelessness: The Insecurity Unaddressed

This book, despite its title, is obviously about a loving character. Many people might not see this as a problem: first off, loveless doesn’t always mean the same thing, and second, many aroaces express feeling loveless when coming to terms with their identity. Here’s my rebuttal.

One: Georgia fits no definitions of the label. She subscribes to none of the beliefs. She loves her friends actively and sees their relationship as more than romance or sex, as something greater to her.

Second, this is because anti-loveless rhetoric is everywhere and all over this book. Not once is it suggested Georgia could live as loveless, or truly be without love. In the end, she is surrounded by it, simply learning to accept friendship instead. The way her insecurity isn’t met with “you’re complete as you are”, and instead with “you can still be complete if you simply fill the void with friends”, is anti-loveless. Nobody is allowed to be whole on their own without a subplot where their doubts are reinforced or they’re explicitly made to be broken inside.

This is shockingly common, and always sad every time I see it. Many aspects fear being loveless, as if it is a curse or blight they must cleanse. This book is one example out of many, but it doesn’t make it less hurtful when a book that runs against everything your community stands for [self-acceptance and the optionality of love] bears your name regardless. It is a book for people who are afraid of loneliness, and it answers their insecurities with “you’re right. You do need other people. You just need to find a way to still find and have a life partner!”. This is damaging to loveless people, especially those questioning an aplatonic identity.

Again, it’s not unique to Loveless. But, it’s reflective of a broader issue of aplatonics who may be seeking community constantly being presented with “you ARE broken, but friendship can fix you!”, a “solution” many can’t use, and often leads to even more self-hatred.

That’s about it from the aspec side of things. If you got this far, congrats! The rest is opinions on the writing, and the bingo card finale. You can drop off here if that’s all you came for.

Writing Problems, Oh My!

This is veering into heavy personal opinion, so, I will remind you: I don’t usually like YA, but YA can be a very good genre! I do not think this book is a good representation of what good YA looks like.

The writing quality is one of the hardest things to get past, because of a major problem I observed: Oseman is better at comics. This isn’t so much a vilification as a recommendation that it would’ve been much better suited for a different type of media. This kind of “media dysphoria” is present in many of the ways the book operates: many scenes would flow perfectly well in a visual piece. Georgia’s inner monologue has a tendency to jump suddenly into scenes and interrupt the action in a way that would be perfectly natural as a narration bubble put over a drawing of the scene around her. There are entire pages of just… text messages that would be much better suited to a visual medium where you could make these dialogue bits look much more interesting through different shots, or drawing what the background would look like on a screen [The Girl from the Sea does this well, for example].

There’s also the fact I cannot place in my mind if I'm too old for this novel. A lot of the jokes boil down to “hah! Sex!” in a way that instantly alienates me from the writing. The jokes can be pretty juvenile and repetitive, and serve to be the equivalent of a comedian saying “eh? Get it? That was a joke.” six times.

This isn’t to mention the fact many of these characters are complete cardboard. Sorry. Jason does not need to exist. When he appears in a scene, he is ignored or completely leaves it on his own. He really only serves to drive Georgia’s character forward, rather than have one of his own. I found myself forgetting he was present in a scene at all until he spoke again and reminded me of his existence. The book would practically be unchanged if Georgia temporarily dated Pip and Jason was never a factor, plus or minus the Shakespeare Soc plot.

Many interesting characters suffer from severe Pamphlet Effect syndrome. Most of the girls do. In a better novel, they would be more in depth, but Loveless doesn’t really afford them this luxury. I need to take the girls very far away from this novel, okay. I need someone to write a version of Loveless where they have personalities. There’s crumbs there. Please, someone make a loaf of bread out of it. They deserve it.

Another thing, but minor: the breakneck pacing at some points followed by slow slogs of not a lot happening contributes to the reading issues. You may thing something would be dwelled on, just for it to go flying away into the sunset as 3 more things happen and then one problem lasts for 2 chapters. I found it very hard to catch up with Loveless, while other parts I felt like I was constantly waiting for it to catch up with me instead.

The Final Frontier: The Bingo Card Returns

And without further ado, the Loveless and Tired Bingo Card for Loveless by Alice Oseman! Completed with help from other readers braver than I.

[Image ID: A bingo card made from a basic template. It has no title, and all the text is black on a white background. Some squares are marked with a blue X, while others are marked with a red scribble. The marked squares are: “Not prioritizing friendship treated as freak behaviour”, “Jab at loveless sex thrown in”, “Something about not being like THOSE people”, “Universal type of love is laid on thick”, “The answer to all your problems is finding some pals”, “Found family ending”, “Platonic-romantic binary”, “Love still treated as universal [free]”, “Friendship is more wholesome or pure”, “Amatonormativity BAD [platonormativity is my bestie]”, “Platonic love being more powerful or sumn”, “You still love your friends though, right?”, “Friendship saves the day”, “Still thinks you need dedicated people to survive”, “Being alone treated as worst thing in the world”, and “Friendships are more stable than partnerships anyways”. The unmarked, blank squares are: “Something about "players" and pickup artists where no commitment is villainized”, “Character fears being loveless and is kinda aplphobic about it”, “Aspec double standards [one is normal, one is weird]”, “You still love your FAMILY, right???”, “QPRs mentioned by no nuance given to their diversity”, “Friendship forced upon a character against their will”, “Comment about some people being inhuman gets brushed past”, and “Simply prioritise your family instead!!” /End ID]

Would I recommend this book? Uh. No! Well. Yes, but not as a good book for aspecs. I’d recommend it solely to read it yourself and form your own opinions. But, no, I would not recommend it to any aspecs I know, especially not loveless ones, aplatonic ones, aroallos, or if they're an aroace looking for support.

Ah, Loveless, how you vexx me. Never again. See you in the next, much shorter post.

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noellefan101 · 1 year ago

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Offline to Online HSR edition

Characters: Kafka, Silver Wolf, Seele, Bronya x gn! reader

Summary: your girlfriend is a streamer, a popular one at that. this is a fic about: how their chat finds out that you are dating, how they treat you off-stream and on-stream/do they treat you differently

"Warnings": Romantic relationship, modern au, streamer au, kissing, [h/c] is hair color, not proofread,

Note: this is the other one that was in the poll if you would like to read the genshin impact version it´s here. and omg i am so tired and my back hurts like CRAZY, but i luv you all.

Kafka

How chat found out: she kinda wanted to say it out loud the first day/month you started dating, but you stopped her because you didn´t want the whole world to know. and she agreed it was for the best anyways/don´t want all her simps to come at you(looking at you "cough cough")/. so she kept it a secret, still teases you about it though. and she was pretty good at hiding it, but then it had been a year or so and you moved in together, in a new house.

so obviously it was going to be harder to hide it, mainly because you lived together, but also because she was asked 24/7 to do a new house tour. she eventually did it, but without your office being in the video. it worked out well in the beginning but then people started wondering what was in the last room/your office/. you were worried about it, while she ignored it and acted like no one had asked about it. that of course didn´t help and only grew more suspicion to the last room. she eventually had enough and started asking you if she could say it, following up with her saying that her fans won´t come after you for it.

On-stream: she teases you, every time she has a chance too, and i mean EVERY time. she normally does that a lot, but not this much. she also doesn´t like when anyone else teases you. you´d say she´s possessive, but if you actually said that when she´s streaming, you would be banned from entering her office for a few months(at least).

Off-stream: she´s WAY sweeter when no one is watching, mostly because she doesn´t have that evil look in her eyes all the time. and then she´s with you so ofc she´ll behave(if you ask nicely). she would also kiss you more passionately than when she´s in front of chat/she doesn´t need chat to spread pics of you kissing all over twitter, that´s why/and she also hugs you more gently. over all she´s just softer with you but don´t tell her that.

she loves you, even more than chat loves her.

Silver Wolf

how chat found out: they didn´t really think that you were dating at first, but just some affectionate roommates. maybe it was because they didn´t think that she would be dating anybody/or maybe you looked too good to be dating silver wolf hehe/. but either way, you ARE dating, you just thought her chat knew already. but when you found out they didn´t/because they called you her roomie, not her partner/you tried to show more affection.

so when you were home while she was streaming you made some food for her. walked in and gave her the food, after you just left a little kiss on her cheek. leaving the chat stunned, she just started eating her food, acting like nothing happened. she asked if anything was wrong and they flipped out even more, like wtf they just kissed you. she didn´t think it was that big of a deal and tried to move on. but they wanted answers, she didn´t care ofc, and didn´t answer any of their questions. after she was done eating and she just continued the stream like normal. you on the other hand was a little worried that she got upset, because you just kissed her on the cheek, and in front of all her viewers. she eventually revealed to chat that you were dating, and they should shut up abt it. only because she didn´t want you to worry.

On-stream: she doesn´t really care if you´re there or not, but id happier with you there. she shows affection, but not much. the reason: she doesn´t want to ruin her reputation.

Off-stream: when she´s not streaming or in a call you play with her instead. she loves when you play with her, wanting to share her interest with you. she does this while hugging you/maybe from behind/and kisses you to distract you.

she loves games, but loves you even more.

Seele

How chat found out: they properly noticed the person walking around in the background all the time/since her streaming setup is in the living room/and they didn´t know who it was other than a person with [h/c] colored hair. they tried to ask about it, but Seele didn´t pay them any mind and moved on. she kinda thought they were joking and already knew who you were/but there kinda clueless and thinks she kidnapped someone/but ofc you´re just her partner and she didn´t force you to live with her. actually, it was your idea to live with her. so they should quit thinking that.

but anyway, she was streaming(like usual)and she was in a call with some friends/like Sampo, Bronya, Natasha, etc/and she kinda got into an argument with one of them/Sampo/. because he wasn´t playing well enough and it turned into a thing of them dissing each other. the others wanted to stop them, but they didn´t in fear of getting into it as well, so they kinda just listened in on it. she then revealed one of his secrets, witch lead to him saying that you and Seele were dating, and not just roomies. she then got confused, and asked f they didn´t know/bc she really fricking thought they did, oh well/the chat went wild. and when she found out they were clueless the whole time, she just laughed her ass off.

On-stream: she doesn´t have you around that much/other than in the background/but when you are there beside her, she has most of her attention fixated on you. she likes kissing, hugging and sitting with you, even if in front of everyone. and she doesn´t get embarrassed about it.

Off-stream: if possible she´s even more affectionate, the only reason is because she doesn´t want you to be embarrassed. but if you gave her permission, she would be all over you at all times, at parties, events, on stream, in front of friends and family... you get it.

she loves you a lot, even when you´re not around.

Bronya

How chat found out: she streams a lot, like a ton. so of course you´d either get home while she´s streaming or just be home in general. she´s very busy so you don´t say anything other than "i´m home", when you check on her after being out. or other times it´s you delivering food to her. in general chat mainly thinks that your just some friends living together, but thats only because they don´t know that you´re dating, and you don´t plan on revealing it right now. maybe because you either were busy, didn´t want to or you were scared of her viewers reaction/but she does comfort you, and tell you that they will accept it/.

the way they knew you were dating, was mainly because of you two being stupid. she was on a little break/since she had been streaming the last 5-6 hours, with only 3-4 breaks(send help)/and you walked into her room giving her a snack and kissed her on the cheek. that would have been okay normally, but this time she forgot to turn off the mic. leaving you to realize that after you looked at the chat, because it was going wild. you both then got embarrassed and she turned the stream off. she was supposed to stream for a few more hours but ditched the idea. and in the next week or so she now had to introduce you, when you were fully ready of course.

On-stream: she doesn´t show that much affection, since she gets easily embarrassed and looks almost identical to a tomato. but sometimes she will do cooking streams with you, and try to show off a little/that would be even cuter if you were a baker or cook, just saying(totally not trying to say anything)/but it doesn´t end that well.

Off-stream: she loves to hug, kiss and cuddle you. she feels so much more confident when you´re the only one watching, so she tries to show that she loves you as much as she can. she also feels safer when its only you and her.

she loves her job, but not as much as she loves you.

if you´d like more of these do request, luv ya-Masterlist

You are welcome to reblog and like any of my posts, but you CAN NOT translate, copy or hate on anybody for liking my posts

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radio-zephyr · 23 days ago

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【Then leaf subsides to leaf, So Eden sank to grief 】

tragedy of the 999th round

id in alt :D turn up brightness/click for quality, and as always, rambles below the cut :] v

i love 999th round's characters, they are all so very dear to me. In this piece I really wanted to focus in on 999yjh and uriel, specifically that moment where yjh is wasting away from the outer god contract, and uriel is cradling his crumbling body, begging him to stay awake and unable to do anything to stop his decay. The pose inspo originally came from this photo: (disclaimer that if this photo has any really troubling connotations im not aware of, please let me know!)

i wanted to take this and make the pose a bit more desperate, mournful, tragic. the original already has such a feeling of tragedy, quietness, tenderness that i wanted to preserve, and i tried to show it in the way uriel has interlaced her fingers through yjh's hand, cradling it and lifting it so carefully as she hunches over his body, her other hand gripping his shoulder and refusing to let go.

Uriel herself is missing her wings. I wanted to show her powerlessness in the face of these circumstances. It doesn't matter who she is, what she has accomplished, in this moment there is nothing she can do to save him. The halo is frazzled, breaking apart-what can uriel do? what will she do now that yjh's gone? how could she ever let the person she loves go？

And yjh- the blankeness of his face - I wanted to have a feeling of desolation- so close yet so far, brought to ruin by his own convictions, sacrificing himself over and over for his companions, culminating here-here, where he cannot go on, wasting away. The bright starburst over his heart-he is about to regress, doomed again to his hell of eternity.

The eyes weren't originally planned, but i had to include secretive plotter somehow, just because i love how he, in his attempt to get 999th yjh to succeed, realized that he was the one who had doomed himself. Idk, something something going back in time to try and fix things doesn't work, that horror at the realization that you were doomed from the start, that you were the cause, etc. So I had to include him somehow, desperately gazing down upon the scene.

Overall I wanted to capture a feeling of the tragedy and tenderness of 999th round's yjh and uriel's relationship, this devastating moment caught in an almost gossamer thread of time, where everything is picture perfect, like a painting commemorating those final feelings. Not sure if that's what i achieved, but i'm pretty happy with the result :D

And i'm just realizing, but the colors look different on mobile vs desktop :0 its a bit washed out on desktop..hm.

Closeups (of the parts I really liked) :3 (as you can tell i spent a lot of time on the clothes. they were really fun to do :0 i think i'm starting to really figure out how i like to shade them :D)

And here’s a fun alternate version I did for fun v

#orv #omniscient reader's viewpoint #yoo joonghyuk #uriel #999 yoo joonghyuk #999 uriel #yjhuri #<-what’s their ship tag?#radio’s art #uriyjh #idk o(-(#yjh #orv fanart #i didn't think it would be possible to procrastinate posting something so hard :0 #but thats what i did #alas :d #rbs appreciated <3

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spyder-junkie · 1 year ago

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Hi! I Hope You’re having a great day/afternoon/night! Anyways could I request some Hobie brown x Fem!Quiet!reader who dresses dark but has colorful hair? Headcanons please! Feel free to ignore this request! :) -🐈‍⬛anon

HOBIE BOWN x Fem!Quiet! reader w/ colorful hair

Side note, it makes me so happy when you guys specify what anons you are with the little emojis

Firstly, Hobie loves your sense of style, If he can wear anything of yours, he’ll often go dipping in your closet for new things.

And your hair?? He adores it.

He thinks the contrast between your style and your hair is so unique.

He likes that he can always spot you in a crowd

If you dye your hair yourself, He’ll brush up on those kind of techniques so eventually he can do it for you.

It makes him so excited to see you when he knows he did your hair.

“Id make a damn good hair-dresser, yeah?” He’d tease, laying foils on a section of your hair.

He cares about his free forms a great deal, and wouldnt risk ruining them by dying his own hair.

BUT

He will test different temporary color sprays, chalks, and creams so he could match with you some days.

Matching a couple streaks of his hair with yours quickly becomes his favorite couple thing.

Well really anything he gets to do with you is his favorite thing.

#hobie brown #hobie x reader #spiderpunk x reader #across the spiderverse #spider man: across the spider verse #spiderpunk

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lilacgaby · 2 months ago

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02 | ᴍᴀʀʀʏ ᴍᴇ

~2.2k

chapter select!

[name] eyes him oddly after his confession. "you despise your father so much, that you'd marry a witch just to spite him?"

"yes."

"what-- this is unhinged prince!"

"i'm well aware. but, i promise your life will be a luxury. anything you'd want whenever you pleased. all i wish is for the kingdom's reputation to change, and for the people in it to prosper. but, marrying a princess isn't enough you see, i need someone who'd upset him, who'd force his hands."

"force his hand how?"

"you're a powerful witch, that in itself would upset him. also, when we'd wed, there'd have to be a coronation of sorts first. that's when i plan to make my move, and banish him from the land."

"so, just getting him off the throne isn't enough."

todoroki sighed, flipping his hair out his face as he continued to explain. "no, i'm afraid. if i want to achieve my goal, i would need a complete and utter renovation of the kingdom's proceedings. my father would never allow it."

she hummed, picked up the things she dropped, and squinted her eyes in suspicion. "so, you're saying id get to live as a queen for the rest of my life, with nothing in return?"

"that is exactly what i am saying."

"and what if i refuse."

"well, id do nothing. id marry a princess from another land and would be moved to rule over there. leaving this place in ruins, with a tyrant still at the helm."

[name] sighed heavily. this was a to think about. but, after a moment of reflection, and thinking of the good life the villages would lead if this succeeded, she finally said something "okay, im in, but i have conditions!"

"obviously, please do tell." he said, leaning up against his horse.

she crossed her arms. "i want to be able to continue practicing my magic. and i want the effects of our marriage to be seen in this town immediately."

he raised an eyebrow. "that's all?"

she nodded. "yes, just treat my town nicely."

he sauntered over to her, lighting grabbing her hand that wasn't holding the basket, and kissed it lightly.

"well, then, thank you for your help, future queen." he brought her hand down and stayed holding it as he guided her over to his horse. "do you have any belongings? i can send a guard of mine to go pick them up for you."

"oh, yes i do! most of it is packed up anyways, so it'd really be a great help."

he signaled to the red-haired knight, who promptly picked up the boxes and set them in the cart behind his horse, along with the basket she'd held earlier. inside the cart, there was also a number of remedies that were addressed for the current queen.

before todoroki helped her onto the horse, she wrote a note addressed to her three friends that explained her situation. she promised to write to them frequently in the note as well, and asked them to do the same.

after, she ran quickly, stuck it on the tavern door, and dashed away back to the horse. todoroki helped her onto the back of it, climbed on it himself, and set her arms onto his waist for security.

"hold on." he said, before telling his horse, aptly named snowflake because of it's shimmering white color, to start galloping.

the sun was going down, but the time wasn't what she was focused on at the moment.

what occupied her thoughts was the huge, glamourous castle that was coming up in the distance. banners of blue surrounded the area announcing the kingdom's claim, as a large gate encapsulated it all.

the greenery complimented the fencing, moss and vines were tastefully grown around, as well as blossoming flowers and breathtaking types of trees she'd never seen before.

her breath was taken away as they grew closer and closer, every building, brick, and path was put together with more thought than her entire town.

she was so caught up in it, that she didn't even realize todoroki was speaking to her.

"[name], hey [name]?"

"oh, sorry todoroki, i was just.. looking at everything. it's really gorgeous."

"you may call me shoto from now on. and, yes it is quite beautiful. would you like to know the best part?"

"what?"

"you and i will own all of this soon."

her eyes sparkled at the realization. this would all be theirs to maintain and uphold, to spread to the rest of the kingdom.

to her town.

"that is very cool."

"cool? but it's quite hot outside."

"oh! it's village slang, for uh.. amazing."

"oh, okay." he pondered thoughtfully, looking back at her for a brief moment. "you'll have to teach me more then, i'd like to get to know you better.

after all, we will be married soon."

she flushed at that. "yeah, we'll get to know eachother well soon enough."

after they passed through the gate, with the attendants bowing at todoroki and her as they passed though, she decided to ask him what exactly would happen before the coronation. "so, shoto? what will we be doing before your plan comes to fruition."

"oh, we're going to spend about a month together testing our compatibility. it's tradition."

she felt the air leave her lungs. a month? she had a month to convince some randoms she didn't even know that she deserved to marry a prince?

"you couldn't have told me that earlier?"

"you never asked."

"that was rhetorical. just, who do i have to convince anyways? is it you?"

"yes, but also my family. don't worry though, i think my siblings will enjoy your company. my father though, he won't.

and that's what i'm betting on."

"thanks shoto."

"you're welcome." he said, not catching her sarcasm."

the rest of the ride was silent as she leaned against him, admiring the lives of the nobles. they all seemed so carefree, girls walking around in their fancy gowns, carrying satchels full of gold to spend. boys, carrying satchels of gold and using them to play games. the older folk, who lazed around, not lifting a finger. it was peaceful here,

she wanted that for the people back home.

when they finally reached the castle doors, shoto got off the horse first, then gently lifted her down. an attendant came quickly to take snowflake to their barn, and the red-haired knight was quickly dismissed.

as they walked inside, she immediately felt out of place. although her outfit was considered high-class back at the tavern,

here she swore she saw similar fabric used for the one of the dogs' rug.

the pristine atmosphere was set off by the odd feeling of tenseness that washed over shoto, and as they entered the dining hall, she soon realized why.

king enji todoroki, was a tyrant in his very own home.

the much smaller throne next to him at the dinner table was empty, but other chairs that were awkwardly spaced out considering the width of the table were filled by three siblings, each looking less happy to be there than the last.

she grabbed his hand, as if in support. the king's eyes glared at her at the motion.

"what is the meaning of these? why would you dare bring a peasant into our home shoto?"

"father, i'm marrying her."

as the king choked on his own spit, his siblings all took the initiative to look at her. the only one with black hair suddenly spoke, "way to rip off the bandaid shoto."

"you cannot be serious shoto, we've spoken about your idiotic actions, but this is too far!" the king spat, his eyes crazed as he slammed his chalice full of wine on the table.

"i am serious, i will announce it on my eighteenth birthday, and we will be wed a month after."

"you--"

"that's so sweet shoto. i'm happy for you." his sister cut in, smiling despite the harsh atmosphere.

"you take after touya! each of you serve to annoy me, why can't you just marry who i choose? a respectable princess, and not this-- this swine!" the king slammed the table once again.

"that's enough father," the white-haired boy spoke. "shoto made his choice, during the trial period we can find out this girls character."

the king took a drink of wine as if to calm himself. "yes, there's no way a peasant such as that will gain the full interest of shoto. he'll boot her out in a week."

"oh, and another thing. she's a witch."

the black-haired brother started laughing, as the kings veins almost popped out of his head.

"she's a what?"

"a witch?"

"she's to be executed as all witches are! i know she's not working here! are you trying to murder me shoto?!"

"well, you can't execute her now. if shes shotos fiance, technically she's servicing the royals, and can be kept alive, according to your own rules father."

"correct fuyumi. father, please calm down, maybe this is a turn for the better. witches used to be our main element before that law was put into place, and besides, maybe she can assist mother."

[name] swore the king, for a split second, put on a face of disgust at the mention of the queen, but quickly hid it.

"i.. suppose so. witch, heed my warnings. i do not respect you, i do not like you, and if any action you take is to conspire against me, i will strike you down myself." the king said, before dramatically leaving.

after they were sure he was out of earshot, they each commented on her. "way to go brother, i don't know what you're planning, but you sure pissed him off. now, introduce that fiance of yours officially already." the scarred man complimented.

"oh, of course. this is [name], she's a village witch i've been seeing for a while." he lied.

"hello [name], it's amazing to meet you! i'm fuyumi, i rule a territory out in the west."

"greetings [name], i am natsuo, its a pleasure. i rule a territory out in the east."

"hey witch, im dabi officially, but when you become a royal, ill let you call me touya. i rule up in the north."

"nice to meet you all." [name] said, bowing to them.

"there's no need for that, you'll be joining this family soon enough." natsuo commented.

"yes, please treat us casually. now, care to explain how you and shoto met?"

[name] froze, crap. she needed her story to match up with shoto's-

"can't you see they're tired from their travels fuyumi? let's just question the hell out of 'em tomorrow."

"touya! language! but i suppose you're right."

"i always am." he shrugged. "you two love birds go huddle up for the night, we'll be here for majority of this month, so we got plenty of time to question these two."

"yes, please go rest."

"okay, i'll see you all tomorrow." shoto said, before gently guiding her out the room.

"you'll have to teach me your slang quicker than i thought, i didn't understand a lick of what my brother spoke back there."

"ah, of course shoto. but, where will i be staying?"

"in our room of course."

"what-"

"this month, even though it doesn't start officially til' my birthday, is about testing our compatibility. my parent's marriage is very.. complicated. i don't want to become like them, so i feel we should start act with the normal acts now, like laying together."

"oh, of course shoto. that makes sense."

"unless you'd rather not sleep with me-"

"no, no that's not it at all!" she said, waving her hands around frantically. "i was just surprised is all."

"ah, okay. well, here we are."

they entered a luxurious room as big as her house, a large bed covered in silk sheets and pure cotton cloths was the centerpiece to it all, with a chandelier and furs on the floor just to match with it all.

yeah, she was definitely out of her element here.

she was then guided to the bathroom, which was the size of an entire bathhouse. a large tub, with real gold installed on it, was matched by glamourous sinks and showers.

"i've prepared some sleepwear for you to adorn to sleep."

"thank you shoto, this is just-- crazy."

"uh.."

"it's in a good way."

"okay, well i'll leave you too it."

she had the best shower of her life, treating herself to the expensive soaps and rags at her disposal. the real heaven on earth was how she felt when she slipped into her silk robes, she had never felt anything so soft.

until she laid in the bed, which was the real most comfortable thing she'd ever been in. shoto joined her soon after, and took the initiative to pull her into a hug.

she relaxed into it, and wrapped her arms around him as well.

they fell asleep holding eachother, and the whole time she thought about how natsuo was right.

maybe her presence here was a turn for the better.

prev | next!

#anime fic #mha fantasy au #mha x you #mha shoto #mha x reader #mha #bnha #shoto todoroki x reader #todoroki x reader #shoto todoroki #shouto todoroki #shoto x reader #shoto x you

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microwaveable-squish-cheese13 · 9 months ago

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🌀 promises ..

this is js sm else i had in my notes too, figured id post this one since the other one didn't completely fail 😼

pairing: simon 'ghost' riley + fem!civilian!reader

WARNINGS: mentions of killing and stuff

...

you weren't pretty.

no, no...

not in his eyes. god no.

you weren't pretty.

beautiful, sure. that's a word for it. but not what he would describe you as.

you were like the summer sun on his skin, like the ripples in the water he would see at the pool he went to as a kid. you were like freezing cold water on a hot summer night.

you were like the breeze in the trees. the songs the birds would sing, only for the crickets and frogs to take over once Mother Moon rose to bathe him in her light.

you were like the reflection of the stars in his mother's eyes. the smell of strawberries in his family's kitchen.

you were his best memory.

you know how people say that you correlate certain people to certain things?

yeah.

you were everything to simon.

he saw you in everything the earth had to offer.

the way the sun set and the way it rose- it reminded him of you. of the way it would look on your skin, painting it a golden color for him to cherish.

the way the crickets chirped late at night reminded him of that one time you said that sound comforted you- helped you sleep. he smiled after that. that was the very first time you saw him smile so genuinely.

vanilla? you. simon could almost hear you tell him that vanilla was your favorite scent at some mom and pop store (you've already told him eight thousand times before). every time he would just laugh and say "noted."

these are the little things. the little itty bitty things that keep him alive.

and at night when the guns roared and his life was on a wire, he would think of these things. when his own blood smeared over his skin, tainting his body and his mind with things you'd probably leave him for.

when the head of another human was under his gun, you were what he thought of. how this action was for you- to get home to you.

if he didn't shoot this man, then how did he know this man wouldn't turn on him and keep him from fulfilling his promise to you?

"just.. come home. please?" you had whispered the night he left. simon only nodded, slipping on his mask and sighing.

"always, love. forever and always. promise."

and he'd be damned if he broke that fucking promise.

even as bullet left his gun with a shuddering snap and the man fell dead under him, he kept reminding himself this was for you. all of this pain and suffering he held on his shoulders was for you.

the woman he intended to marry.

the woman he wanted to grow old with.

the woman he would never break a promise to. never in his goddamn life.

...

sometimes when he gets home he's scared to see you.

he's not scared of you. never.

he's scared of the chance that maybe you'd finally realize all the lives he holds on his hands, that maybe when you fuck late at night that the blood on his hands will shine through and stain your beautiful skin.

stain and ruin the last perfect thing he has in his life.

he's scared that maybe, you'll realize that you're sleeping with and loving a murderer. maybe you'll turn him away once you see the blood on the mask he tries desperately to hide from you. he didn't want Ghost and Simon to mingle.

you got Simon. you never got Ghost.

he's scared that when he grows the balls to drop to one knee and solidify the bond between you that you'll turn him down. that you'll frown in disgust at this war criminal for even assuming that you'd love a creature such as him.

but deep down, he knows that's all irrational. that you'd never do such sinful things. say such hurtful things.

and he's right. you'd never.

because you were as hopelessly in love with him as he was with you.

and you promised it to him.

"i love you." were the words uttered late into the night as they laid in the shadows of their bedroom. simon almost cried every time you said that to him. the last time he'd heard that was when his nephew told it to him.

now it was you saying those three words.

three words that could tear a man like him

down to his last thread. "i love you too."

a few heartbeats later, he spoke again.

"you promise?" his voice was so soft you thought you imagined it. you tilted your head up at him. "what?"

"you promise that you love me?"

it tore him apart to ask it. it sounded to him like he was questioning your affection. but you knew he wasn't.

"yeah." you smiled, laying your head back on his shoulder.

the moon was high, smiling down and shining her light through the glass and onto them in neat squares through the window.

the crickets chirped, and the frogs croaked back as they sung their songs to the stars. somewhere out there water rippled and a dove cried, pleading out into the night about a tragedy mankind will never know about.

"i promise."

#simon riley #simon ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley #cod mw2 #call of duty #cod modern warfare #trying this again guys

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beansprean · 2 years ago

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Atlantis AU….. for @fanfic-fugue who asked the very important question what if a vampire fanboy with Van Helsing lineage led an expedition to an ancient lost vampire city no one thinks exists? And also Nandor had his tits out? 😈

(ID in alt and under cut)

1a. Background of an underground Persian palace of cracked stone and tile, overgrown with vines and moss and surrounded by pink silk trees. Closer to the viewer, beyond a plain that is half sand half meadow, is a double waterfall flanked by cracked stone pillars, pouring into a basin covered by a gulley of cypress trees. Closer still is a short set of fallen stairs leading down to a peaceful blue pond with floating lily pads and a massive cracked stone pillar set crooked in the ground. The pillar is coated in vines and algae and has a center ring of round protrusions capped by red gems, some of which are missing. Standing at the top of the ruined stairs are Guillermo and Nandor. Guillermo is dressed like Milo Thatch in an army green tank top, brown breeches, and stockings, a leather bag crossed over his chest and an old book tucked under his arm. He is reaching out towards the pillar with his free hand, smiling in fascination as he remarks, “Wow, this architecture is amazing!” Nandor stands behind him, arms tucked behind his back, and replies “I suppose. It looks like breasts.” Nandor is wearing a version of his usual layered kaftan in light purples and blues, a long dark blue sash with gold patterns draped over his shoulders and tucked into a leather belt at his waist. 1b. Full body drawing of Nandor in the same outfit, showing more detail like brown leather boots, the ancient-looking sword strapped to his belt, and the looser bun holding back his hair. Nandor is standing proud and upright, looking directly at the viewer with one hand on the hilt of his blade.

2a. Close up of Guillermo soaking wet and dripping, his tank top now translucent enough to see his nipples through. He is talking excitedly, almost manic, grinning and gesturing wildly with his hands at someone offscreen. There is a plain gold crucifix around his neck. 2b. Close up of The Guide dressed like Helga Sinclair in a long silk black evening dress, black gloves, ushanka, and fur stole, draped casually in a chair with legs crossed, the fur tucked into her elbows and one strap of the dress slipped down over her shoulder. She lifts one hand in a “what the heck?” gesture and says, “Guillermo de la Cruz… I sent, like, 50 ravens!!”

3a. Full body of Guillermo smiling confidently, holding up an old leather book with a red skull design, titled “Vampyr”. He is wearing a khaki colored sweater, brown breeches, stockings, button boots, and a long faded green coat. He has a leather bag strapped across his chest. 3b. Full body of Nandor stripped down to a tiny wrapped-cloth undergarment, standing with hip cocked flirtatiously, one arm stretched up to rest against the side of the image as he grins teasingly, one eyebrow cocked. He asks casually, “Do you swim?” 3c. Close up of Guillermo pausing in the act of pulling off his own shirt, clutching the hem with both hands at his breast line. He stares openly at Nandor, face tomato-red and shaking mouth struggling to form words, stuttering out, “I-I swim pretty guy- pretty good!!”

4. Nandor and Guillermo floating together underwater, Nandor in his cloth briefs and Guillermo in white boxers. They both have their hands placed on a cracked stone mural depicting an ancient bearded warrior on horseback, wielding a sword much like Nandor’s and a helmet and armor similar to the one his ghost wore in the show. Their hands touch against the stone and they turn to look at each other, Guillermo flushed and spilling bubbles between his lips, Nandor unbreathing with large liquid eyes. Guillermo’s crucifix is floating up in the water, shining bright gold. The entire scene is overlaid with teal and shining water effects, light piercing down at them in rays. /end ID

#wwdits #nandermo #atlantis the lost empire #atlantis au #mlm #guillermo de la cruz #nandor the relentless #wwdits the guide #what we do in the shadows fx #what we do in the shadows #my art #fanart #image described

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aces-and-angels · 4 months ago

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title: do not fall apart before they do. tiktok originally made by umnia_ video transcript below the cut

[ID: With the magnitude of what has been happening in Gaza in the last 8-9 months, I really hope you guys deeped it when people of color were trying to tell you to pace yourselves- because now is around the time a lot of you are going to start *clicks tongue, slashes hand over forehead* Like, there's going to be yet another tragic massacre right in front of you on your screen- and you're just not gonna react because you're burnt out. and that's when they get you. This is- this is an endurance test.

Colonialism *laughs* and- and death and destruction. Necropolitics is an endurance test. How many people can we kill before you tap out on even seeing them as people? Until you- until you don't get it. Until you just- it no longer registers. How many people does it need to be? 300,000? 400? It- they will just keep going.

They don't see them as people. So what- what avenue do they have to stop? What avenue do they have to go, "oh, my god!" Like- they don't have one. They don't see these- they see them as- they don't even see them as numbers on a sheet. They don't think of these massacres by the numbers. Everyone else has to do the numbers. They don't even see the numbers. They're thinking in terms of the spreadsheet that has the bombs and the money on it. They're not thinking about the people, ever.

200 people? Okay *muttered speech* They have this double tap thing (which is a violation). It's a war crime where they go, "We'll do a little small explosion here. Everyone will run to try and try to save everybody- and we'll do another one." That would've horrified you in October, and now you're just like, "Yeah, cause it's Israel." That's how they get you. That's how they get you! That's how they get you.

(speaker mimicking others' most common comments) Well, what are we supposed to do? They say it's a civil war in Sudan. Wha- how am I meant to boycott gold like that? How does that even work? Like- I'm being asked to boycott so many things.

This- this is- this is when people of color have told you all of the different pitfalls. It was for the moment here- this moment- where Meta keeps switching off the political content even when you switch it back on again. It's for the "I haven't seen anything about Palestine in like, four days." It's for the "they- they bombed the school and they burned all the kids inside- all the kids." And you go, "Yeah- I mean, god, Israel- just- is there no low they won't stoop to?" It's for that moment. It's for that moment. That's when they get you. That is when they get you. That is when they get you.

And it's now no time for half measures. You've gotta be "October heated" about every single moment. And some of that means that you don't tap in until like 2 PM each day. Or you have- you cannot be guilty about the one or two things you do a day that are for you. You don't have to feel guilty about the week where you are just silent reposting and getting your mental back because at least you're doing something.

Like- that is how you maintain your humanity as they keep going. Because they can't- they don't- they won't stop. And if you can keep up with them, they run out of money, and that's when you can get them. And there's no recourse for them anymore. They need someone at every single speech going, "You're funding a genocide." They need everyone turning up to vote against them.

They- there's so many different avenues that mean you don't have to sacrifice your daily coffee and your nice little bubble bath to ruin their lives when they do this- when they kill this amount of people. You can really disrupt stuff. Even if it just means that your one action for the whole week is explaining to all your co-workers why that person who shouted at Jimmy Kimmel is an icon. That's the- that's the one.

Because finally- one day they run out of money- they run out of goodwill. They are worn down by the fact that you won't let this go, and they stop. You've disrupted their balls- you've disrupted their interviews- you've disrupted their money. Boycott, boycott, boycott. And eventually *speaker makes explosion sound* it all shuts down.

We're watching it shut down right now. That's why they're getting vicious. One might argue this entire assault is the final flamethrow of a dying empire. Do not let them guilt you into using everything you have in your power to maintain your humanity and stay in the fight. And that does not mean you have to be burning yourself out every day. It means sometimes that your only daily action is those instagram posts- those instagram stories. But you're still not stopping. No one's gonna shut you up.

Go as slow as you need to as long as you want. Do not stop. Because this is the moment. This is the moment that they're waiting for you to cave. They're waiting for you to burn out and to not- and to not see those kids as kids-- and to not see that granddad-- and to go, "What?! Another atrocity? What- another thing they're doing in the prison? What? Another thing? Ah, look at the dog! The dog they sent on the poor grandma."

You can't just be like *clicks tongue, slashes hand over forehead* and you can't just go like, "Why does no one care?!" You just have to beat them at the endurance test.

The- if you ever- if you ever-- I mean all people of color can do this for you, but if you ever need an example of an endurance test, pay attention to Palestinians. Follow Palestinians. They have been in this for a time- a length of time you cannot fathom. There are people who have been born into this who were born of people who were born into this, okay? They know endurance. Follow their lead. They're still graduating. They're still having their coffees. They're still doing their makeup, and--

And you just keep going. Just keep going. Just keep going. Just keep going. Because the thing is, you can- you can maintain your sanity. They cannot maintain this. This cannot go on forever. This will end up falling apart, but only if you don't fall apart first. END ID]

#umnia_#tiktok #not choices #🍉#🇸🇩#🇭🇹#🇨🇩#video time: 6ish min #strongly recommend yall give it a watch esp if you are starting to feel weary #v important reminder

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strawberryfairi · 1 month ago

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Synopsis🌹: After discovering a strange yet alluring red book in a boutique bookstore, you find yourself sucked into a strange world, where all of your inner most desires exist…

Pairings: Wakasa Imaushi X Musician! Black Fem 🤎 Reader (ANYONE CAN READ🧚🏾‍♀️) Content: Author AU, scifi, Musician! reader, reader is a talented nerd, smutty (slow burn) romance, tiny doses of angst, adventure, futuristic city, magic?, !!sexual tension!!, etc (just find out the rest, lol)

w.c: 3.4k💠 Released: October 5

Previous | Next… | Chapters Masterlist

A/N🧚🏾‍♀️: I think this might actually be my favorite chapter I've written so far. I had so much fun writing this part!!

C.W: None

Tags: @nixalozt

↳ (Let me know via inbox or the comment section if you would also like to be tagged here for this story🩵)

𝟐 || 𝐀𝐥𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲

(Alternate Reality/First Meeting Theme: Rise From the Ruins - Lost Traveler)

Your eyes snap open, and your heart pounds as a wave of disorientation washes over you. Bright neon lights assault your vision, and you instinctively squint, shielding your face with an arm. You're on your feet, standing in the middle of a sidewalk, but this is no area you recognize. The sounds, the smells, the very air around you—it's all wrong.

Around you, towering skyscrapers reach high into the sky, their surfaces beaming with neon lights and shifting holographic ads. The streets are crowded with people—some with brightly colored hair, others with cybernetic enhancements replacing limbs, eyes, even parts of their faces. Hovering cars zip by overhead, leaving behind jet trails of blue fire where their tires should be, and a low hum of machinery fills the air, blending with the pulse of strange music emanating from hidden sources all around.

Your mouth goes desert dry as you quickly realize you have no idea how you got here. It's like a dream, in the way that they just simply begin directly in the middle of a particular scene. No context, no frame of reference, just there.

"Where am I?" You whisper to yourself, taking a cautious step forward.

People move past you without so much as a side glance, their faces illuminated by the neon lights that flicker from every direction. Your heart races as you try to process the chaos around you, but everything is too much. Every sound, every flash of light, it makes your head spin.

Okay okay, think.You force yourself to take a deep breath, closing your eyes for a moment to try and center yourself. You're dreaming. That has to be it. This can't be real. It's just one of those dreams where your mind knows you're in one. A lucid dream, that's it. You've never had a lucid dream before, so it's probably natural your'e freaking out like this.

But when you open your eyes, the world is still there. As real as the ground beneath your feet. And that's when you hear it.

"Unidentified citizen detected." A cold, mechanical voice announces from behind you.

You turn around abruptly, pulse quickening, and your eyes lock onto a mind boggling scene. A...midsized robot. It's floating off of the ground eye level with you, painted white and navy blue, with a neon red holographic badge that shines above its "chest". The whir of its internal engines barely audible above the noise of the street.

"Please present identification," It states, its robotic voice creepily polite.

Your breath catches in your throat. "Identification? I-I don't—..." You stumble back, mind racing. Identification? What kind of identification? What am I supposed to do?! Your hands instinctively go to the mini purse hanging from your shoulder, but of course, you had nothing. Nothing but a lipstick and lip liner in there. No wallet, no ID, nothing that made sense in this strange, futuristic place.

"Uhhh, I don't have anything," You stammer, panic rising in your chest. "I don't know how I got here, but I need—"

"Failure to present identification will result in detainment." The robot interrupts, its glowing red eyes making you anxious as it hovers closer.

Your heart pounds in your chest. You can feel the eyes of passerby's on you now, the slight glances, and low murmurs. They all seem to know exactly what's happening, but no one's bothering step in and actually help. You're on your own here...

So, you do the only thing you can think to do in this situation: run.

Without another thought, you take off bolting, weaving through people as fast as you can. Your breaths start to become uneven pants, your heels making your feet sting with every hard step.

From behind, you can hear the sound of the robot tailing you, "Halt! Unidentified citizen!"

Yeah, I think the hell not, you think to yourself, dodging a flying car that nearly grazes you as it zooms by. Your lungs begin to burn as you push yourself harder, but you still have no idea where you're actually going. Every street looks the same—slathered in neon lights, holographics, and cluttered with unfamiliar, strange faces. Your mind races, desperate for a solution, but nothing makes sense.

Suddenly, a figure emerges on what looks like a motorcycle from one of the alleys to your left, just a bit ahead of you. They pause at the opening of the sidewalk, where the alleyway leads to the main road. Directly in your way.

You let out a small yelp as you clumsily skid to a stop, but end up just crashing right into the person. Reflexively their arm grabs you, catching you by your waist before you can really hurt yourself. You hang there, thrown over his arm.

"Need a hand, sweetheart?" His voice is low, teasing as if the entire situation is amusing to him.

You stare up at him wide eyed and panting. But then, as your eyes meet his, you feel your breath hitch.

The man holding onto you is...impossibly beautiful. His shoulder-length hair is pulled back in a loose half-up, half-down style, the top half dyed a striking shade of purple, while the lower strands gleam blonde in the city's neon glow. His striking lavender-colored eyes are framed by long, dark lashes that gaze down at you with a half-lidded, cool—almost sultry intensity.

Your eyes drift over to the earring dangling from his left ear, catching the light as it sways gently. And damn, he's got tattoos too. They're roses, with pretty intricate designs crawling up both arms and disappearing beneath his shirt, then peeking out around his low collar, hinting at even more ink across his chest.

For a brief moment, you actually forget where you are and your current situation, your mind completely consumed by the strong magnetic pull of this man. You stutter an incoherent sentence, thoughts a jumbled mess while your eyes continue to roam over him, caught in the intensity of the moment. But the distant mechanical whir of the cyber police snaps you back to reality.

"I—I'm being chased! There's a robot—"

"I can see that." He says casually, glancing back where you had been running. The robot is closing in fast, its red eyes glowing brighter as it hones in on you. "Looks like you got yourself in a little trouble."

"A little?!" Your voice cracks with desperation. Ok, he's gorgeous but you don't have time for his chill, cool boy attitude. You need more urgency. "I gotta get up outta here!"

He grins. "I can help you with that." Without another word, he sets you down over his lap, an embarrassing position. His grip is firm but not painful, and his leg raises from the ground to the bike as he starts to rev the engine.

"Wait wait, hold on! I can't—I don't do bikes!" You cry out, shaking your head frantically. Quickly your hands struggle to reach down to the hem of your short, silver dress, trying to pull it down enough to where you don't flash both him and anyone else coming by.

"You don't have a choice." He says before the bike shoots forward past the robot officer. The roar of the engine drowns out the high pitched scream you let out.

The chase begins.

The city is a blur around you, neon signs, holographs, and towering buildings fly by as the motorcycle rockets through the busy streets. You grip tightly on the man's shirt, heart pounding in your chest as a mix of fear, and admittedly, excitement courses through your veins. You can hear the mechanical sounding police sirens of the cyber cops from behind, but this man doesn't seem even a little bit concerned.

He weaves effortlessly through traffic, cutting sharp corners down narrow alleyways. It's like he's used to this, like he's done this plenty of times before. You have never felt such a rush before—the danger, the thrill, the stranger you're currently clinging to with no idea where he's headed.

The robotic voice of the cyber police bots echoes behind you again. "Unidentified citizen, halt immediately. You are in violation of city law 375-B. Submit for processing."

You look behind you, letting out a deep gasp as you spot not just the one, but six other cyber-police bots dashing after you two, their red lights flashing ominously in the night. "We're gonna get caught!" You holler anxiously.

The man scoffs out a laugh, his voice steady and unbothered. "We're fine."

He revs the engine again, picking up speed as he tears down the street, dodging past hover-cars and otherworldly pedestrians who barely have enough time to jump out of the way. You feel your heart pounding wildly in your ears as he jets down a long, open road that starts to lead out of the heart of the city.

The cyber cops, however, are relentless. They summon for reinforcements, and more drones whir loudly from above, scanning the streets below for the both of you with beaming night suns. (Night sun: High intensity search light).

Just then, the commanding voices of the cyber police bots change its targeted focus, speaking in creepily perfect unison, "Citizen 0843-77, you are wanted for multiple offenses. Including illegal racing, tampering with city surveillance systems, and evading arrest. Pull over immediately!"

"What?!" Your eyes widen, jaw nearly hitting the floor. First of all, not only did they just put his business on straight blast with his citizen number, but they even went and aired out a whole entire list of criminal offenses! That's why he's so unbothered! And that's why he's zooming through these streets like he's used to running from cops!

The man chuckles, the kind of reckless laughter that makes your heart skip a beat. "What, you think you're the only one who's good at gettin' into trouble?"

Despite the seriousness of the situation, your body can't help the surging rush of adrenaline—and honestly attraction—that came with his carefree attitude. It's like he thrives on chaos. And now, crazily enough, it's starting to rub off on you.

You let out a loud "Oh shit!" as he turns around a tight corner, the bike tipping dangerously close to the ground before he righted it again, speeding down a dimly lit alley. Your stomach flips as the narrow walls flew by your face in a colorful blur.

You look out again. The cyber cops are still chasing behind, but their movements have slowed. Then, they hesitate at the edge of the city, their glowing red eyes flickering as if unsure how to proceed. The night suns, after a couple of seconds, turn off as well, and it feels strangely symbolic of a battle victory.

"They stopped following us." You breathe out in disbelief.

The man nods, finally easing off the throttle as the city lights fade into the distance behind you. "They can't follow us out here. 'S outside their jurisdiction."

After what feels like an eternity, the bike slows, and he comes to a stop at the edge of a long-abandoned overpass. The once-bustling infrastructure now crumbling and overtaken by unfamiliar nature. The neon glow of the city still lit the sky behind you, casting an eerie light over the desolate area. All kinds of plants crawl up the sides of ruined buildings, and what's left of the streets are eerily silent. Dead.

Your heart is still racing as he turns the vehicle off, and you stumble off the bike, legs visibly shaking.

You turn towards the man, who's already chilled out leaning against his bike, watching you with that same unserious grin. "You okay?" He asks as he holds back a chuckle, amusement dancing in his eyes.

You narrow your eyes at him, chest heaving. "It's not funny; hell no I'm not ok! I have no idea where the hell I'm at, or how I got here, and we were just chased by a bunch of freakin' robots like it's the damn apocalypse! And who even are you?! Are you, like, deadass a criminal?!"

Finally, he chuckles, running a hand through his wind tousled hair. "A thanks would'a been nice. I'm Wakasa. By the city's standards I'm definitely a criminal, and as for where you are...well, that's a little more complicated."

You cross your arms, narrowing your eyes at him. "What do you mean complicated?"

Wakasa shrugs with a grin. "You're in Neon City, sweetheart. It's a small planet in galaxy KE-411. Not exactly your usual vacation spot, I'm guessing."

You stared at him, jaw dropped and mind reeling. "A pla-...it's a what?! This city is a whole planet?!"

"Yep." He popped the 'p' with a smirk. "All this is Neon City." He says, gesturing around lazily with a hand.

You let out a disbelieving laugh, hands shaking as you rub them along your temples. "Hell no. No no no, that—this can't be real. I gotta be dreaming! I'm dreaming for sure, you're-...you're not real—"

"Trust me Doll, I'm very real." He muses. "But hey, look on the bright side. You're here now. Might as well enjoy it." He adds with an infuriatingly nonchalant shrug.

"Enjoy it?!" You gape at him. "I'm a fugitive on a whole 'nother freaking planet! The only thing I'm trynna enjoy is me getting the hell up outta here!"

"Hey, suit yourself." He raises his hands in surrender, pushing off of his bike and swinging one leg over it, "Good luck gettin' home."

"Wait!" You call out instantly. "W-Where're you going?! You just gon' leave me out here?!" You scrunch your face up in appall.

"Thought you said you don't do bikes?" He raises a brow teasingly. Your cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

"Well...I'm willing to do bikes if it means I'm not alone." You reply sheepishly.

"Come on." He nods his head towards the bike. Your face lights up with relief, quickly scurrying over and hopping on the black motorcycle behind him.

"You know, you still haven't told me your name yet." He says, just as he starts the engine of his bike.

"Oh yeah, you're right. My mind's all over the place, sorry. I'm Y/N." You ramble, shaking your head at yourself.

He repeats your name, nodding a little before he says, "That was kind'a a cool way to meet, huh?"

You think it over for a second, replaying the extremely hectic, action-packed way in which the two of you happened to meet each other just a bit ago. "Yeah, I-..I guess that was kinda cool." You shrug, chuckling lightly.

The motorcycle slows to a stop once again, and you look around at the deserted area in mild confusion.

"We're here," He announces, cutting the engine.

You blink, still a little disoriented. "Here...?"

It's like a field of nothingness out here. There's small patches of grass scattered all around, but other than that it's just debris from old buildings, roads, and such.

Wakasa smirks as he gets off the bike, holding out a hand to help you down. "This is the underground. No one'll find you out here—not the drones, or the city officials. We're completely off the grid."

You hesitate for a moment before taking his hand, your fingers still trembling from the adrenaline of the night, stepping off of the bike and looking around once more at the ghostly surroundings.

Wakasa guides you over to what looks like a run-down bunker, hidden from view by the tall, overgrown greenery. A single, faintly glowing neon red sign hangs above the heavy, rusted door: "The Underground".

You swallow hard, mind racing. You had been running on sheer panic this whole time, but now...now there's a strange allure to all the danger, the unpredictability of this place. The neon city had felt overwhelming and suffocating, but here in the shadows—or the underground rather—everything feels raw. Real.

Wakasa leads you to the door and knocks in a rhythmic pattern—three short knocks, a pause, then two more. A small, mechanical green eye slides open above the door, scanning them both before letting out a low whir. The door creaks open, and the two of you step inside.

The interior of The Underground is nothing like you could have ever imagined. The nightclub is dark, save for the faint glow of scattered, mismatched neon lights, casting all kinds of shadows across the cavernous space. A low, synthetic beat murmurs from deep within the walls, vibrating through the floor beneath your feet. Smoke hangs in the air, swirling lazily like fog as the dim lights catch it in neon pinks and purples, and greens. The room has an ethereal quality, like something out of a dream.

The bodies packed tightly on the dance floor move together as if they share some kind of secret knowledge you'll never know. Lost in the foreign music and flashing lights. Everyone looks so confident, so sure of themselves, and here you are—spending the whole night... just shook, for lack of better words. You find yourself oddly fascinated.

Everything about this place—from the gritty, broken-down aesthetic outside to the futuristic, slight boho-meets-retro feel of the inside, to the people who seem to fully embody the space, calls to you. It's the complete opposite of everything you've ever known. But instead of feeling lost, left out, or even intimidated, you rather feel...invited.

Wakasa smirks down at you, noticing your awestruck reaction. "A little different from your usual night out, huh?"

You scoff out a laugh, "Very different."

"Come on." He says, leading you further into the club with a hand on your lower back. "Let's grab a drink. The more relaxed you are, the better."

You approach the bar—a long, marble-like counter, behind which stood a half human male bartender with mechanical arms and glowing lime green eyes. Wakasa calmly orders you both drinks as you blatantly stare from the bartender to the other "people" in the vicinity. For some of them, it's hard to tell wether they're actually human, half human, or just a straight up robot.

For other's, like the bartender, it's obvious. The people here didn't really match the look of Neon City's citizens. They're edgy, harder, rebel-like people who maybe don't actually belong to the city above ground. And yet, they have this je ne sais quoi about them, a quiet confidence that draws you in like a moth to a flame.

Wakasa smirks as the bartender comes back and sets two glowing drinks before you two, giving him a short "Thanks". The liquid inside shimmers a bright, electric blue, casting a faint glow that dances across the metal bar.

"This one's for you," He says, pushing the glass toward you. "'S called Bliss."

You raise an eyebrow, eyeing the drink with both curiosity and hesitation. "Bliss?"

"Yeah," Wakasa nods, amusement flickering in his eyes. "It's...well, let's just say it makes things more simple."

When your drinks arrived, you can't help furrowing your brows at the glass, your gaze scrutinizing as you swish it around. "Ok, but like...what is it? Why is it glowing?" You ask skeptically.

"Just try it. It's good; goes down real easy. Promise." He assures cooly.

You immediately note the way he deliberately did not answer the actual question, being what the drink is. You watch him take a long sip of his own, waiting for any crazy reactions. Yet it never comes.

If this were any other situation, you wouldn't dare take a drink from a man you didn't know, but this entire situation is different, technically. The memories of this wild evening flicker through your mind as you continue to slowly swirl the blue liquid around in the glass.

Wether you remember exactly how you got here or not, you're here now, and maybe this really is exactly what you need. A nice break from the constant, monotonous grind of working on music and slaving away at your officially finished record label internship.

From the endless rejection emails, the constant cycle of disappointment after someone you put your trust in fails you, from the pressure you constantly put on yourself. This nightclub, this scene—it's so far removed from your world. Removed from your cramped bedroom that you've made into your home studio, electric keyboards taking up way too much space, notes app filled with unfinished lyrics, and neighbors arguments picking up through your studio quality mic you saved two and a half months just to afford.

So, fuck it. You allow the glow of the blue liquid to lure you into temptation.

Hesitating for only a moment, you take a tiny little sip, bracing yourself for some kind of strong burn or sour taste. But that proves to be for nothing. The drink is cool and sweet—floral almost, and it sends a sensual shiver down your spine. Warmth blooms in your chest, spreading outwards like liquid sunshine. Instantly you feel your nerves begin to relax, your racing thoughts slowing down as the pulse of the club's music seeps into your bones.

You feel good. Really, really good.

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