#and i say that as a neutral statement

[quetzalpapalotl]

I think that the phenomenom of fandom being unable to imagine a truly confident character or overblowing any canon insecurities to the point it eclipses everything else about the character is because a lot of people interact with their media of choice on a basis of relatability and/or projection, and for a lot of reasons people who are attracted to fandom spaces tend to be people who struggle socially and develop insecurities because of it.

[lunacias]

001: first shift

[pwurrz]

i see a lot of people* who advocate for trans unity are just using a different term to hide their transmisogyny.

it’s not ‘trans unity’ if you can’t acknowledge that trans men aren’t the center of the universe and that trans women and their issues matter just as much.

it’s not ‘trans unity’ if you believe that trans women should kiss the feet of trans men and beg for their forgiveness for their alleged ‘misandry’ while completely ignoring the very real and very dangerous transmisogyny present in the trans and outer lgb community.

it’s not ‘trans unity’ if your idea for fixing the rift in the trans community is for trans women to shut the fuck up and do all the work.

it’s not ‘trans unity’ if you can’t even allow trans women to talk about the harm terfs do to them specifically without barging in and silencing them because “terfs are mean to us too so-!”. that’s not the point. trans women talking about their oppression isn’t hurting you, and it’s definitely not an invitation to fight them about it because you want to turn it into an argument about who has it worse.

it’s not ‘trans unity’ if your idea of trans unity is to have a community where trans women are just submissive and obedient, silent about the mistreatment they face either because they were silenced or because they never had a voice in the first place. you are already a part of that community. you already surround yourself with likeminded people who believe the same transmisogynistic things that you do. you don’t need to push a false idea of unity among trans people, it’s very clear what you believe in already, and we don’t need the entire trans community behaving like this.

[butch-reidentified]

fact: there is so much of the natural world we don't understand yet

many forms of women's spirituality is just... celebrating how cool that is. not believing in any fictional narrative. just celebrating nature and how much we have yet to understand.

that's why I take issue with the "it's just as fictional as Christianity etc" narrative. some forms, sure, but not any I'd ever be interested in.

it's just ignorance. your idea of witchcraft vs what I'm actually talking about. but you aren't taking the time to ask or listen. there's literally nothing "unscientific" about what I personally practice. it's just about my relationship to the scientific unknown.

edit to add some of what I just included in a different reblog:

fwiw, I still don't consider myself spiritual as (like I've repeatedly said) my witchcraft is, to me, artistic self-expression and is fundamentally about my personal connection to the universe, womanhood, nature, and, despite what certain women on here are insisting, to science. I've never been able to convince myself to believe in specific unseen/supernatural things like deities (learned this at a very young age trying to make myself believe in the Christian God, then tried with other gods, never believed in Santa even).

women engaging in scientific pursuits have historically so often been the ones labeled witches. new scientific creations have so often historically been called magic, witchcraft, heresy, etc., and those involved persecuted for it.

historically, women called witches have so often BEEN scientists, and that & the erasure of women throughout scientific history is exactly WHY using the term is so important to me, WHY I don't respect the patriarchally-derived dictionary definition* of "witch" or "witchcraft." I have a peer-reviewed neuroscience publication with my name on it, and that, to me, is part of my witchcraft. idc how anyone else feels about that but calling it antifeminist is absurd.

[dykedvonte]

You ever just see a Mouthwashing take that makes you want to bang your head into a wall? I literally just saw someone claim Curly couldn't have been emotionally abused by Jimmy before the crash because he was in a higher position of power than Jimmy.

-Shrimp Anon

The mouthwashing fandom has shown me that people genuinely do believe that certain types of abuse are not as detrimental as other types especially when they deem those immune/resistant, ergo, believing one is objectively worse no matter how it affects the person nor the intersections of power, history and dynamics at play.

Get ready cause this is a yap session:

Cause like it's heavily implied that Curly and Jimmy's friendship was toxic and abusive, pointedly in the direction of how Jimmy uses Curly's belief/comfort in him. Curly wasn't forced to enable Jimmy but he was emotional and mentally on edge around him in almost every scene in some way. Mental and emotional abuse are not contingent on what positions you have at work. Yeah, he's Jimmy's boss but he was Jimmy's friend first and it's like getting into Psych discussion to talk about how social power tends to overshadow any perceived organizational power in the human mind. People are concerned about their jobs ofc but they tend to hang onto and put more value/investment into their personal relationships, hence why there tends to be laws and restrictions around mixing the two.

I always see the sentiments that "Curly is a grown ass man", "Curly is bigger than Jimmy", "Curly is Jimmy's boss", "He just needed a backbone" as criticisms of Curly and while I do agree that on the surface level all of these to be true and viable ways Curly could've taken more control of the situation, I often look at the parallels of Anya and Curly as victims of Jimmy pre/post crash.

The way Jimmy talks to Anya post crash is how he talked to Curly in the pre-crash segments. It's hard to pin-point mainly because we know he hates and wants nothing to do with Anya compared to his contrary but similarly handled obsessions with Curly. It's a weird sort of "honey-moon" effect of abuse Jimmy does in terms of emotional and mental victimization. He is always horrid to Anya, always talking down or questioning her abilities and thoughts in a situation, this of course includes the harassment and assault. However, he has a moment of attempted gentleness/conditioning when he question her about the mouthwash when she's contemplating drinking it at the table. The key difference is he has no personal investment in Jimmy outside wanting nothing to do with him, meaning there is no sort of romanticized version of him that he can condition her off of. He knows this, hence, why he always reverts to trying to make her to scared to oppose him.

This sort of give and take of "kindness" doesn't work on her because she knows he is just doing it to take more from her than whatever he could possibly give but it reflects even the "softer" scenes between him and Curly where he always rewords or rephrases Curly's sentiments and concerns to sound more shallow. He is feigning a deeper understanding by reworking Curly's emotions into something bad and needing to be hidden. Everything is laced with envy and resentment, an outburst just around the corner, I mean he even slams the table in the birthday party scene, a tactic in emotional manipulation to set the victim on edge and cloud their ability to respond. Even if Curly knows Jimmy won't get physical in that moment, the physical actions is intended to make him back down in the confrontation in case it does. This is something that is just not person specific. It ingrains itself into how you interact with the world and life and it shows in major and minor ways with Curly.

Post-crash, the abusive nature is more in tandem to the physical victimization Anya went through and the stripping of voice and autonomy we see take place. Like the parasite in HFIM, Jimmy speaks for Curly most of the time and puts words in his mouth, similarly to how he takes Anya's plans as his own. He very commonly, with the both of them mind you, supplements the worst aspects of himself into them; pettiness, selfishness, lack of understanding... And tries to cover himself with their best qualities; kindness, planning, initiative, etc...

These parallel are just to say that positional power has little to do with if a person can be abused and how it can even be flipped to further the abuse. There is no doubt that Curly could've picked up on Jimmy's envy of his position hence another reason he never confronted him as a Captain but as a friend as doing so would immediately put Jimmy in a space to be confrontational/combative.

I think the disdain some people have when they talk about the heavily implied if not implicitly stated emotional/mental abuse Curly experienced being Jimmy's friend is when treating it as an excuse to why he didn't do more. I can understand that completely because it is not an excuse to why he didn't do more but is a very real reason people in his position in these scenarios can experience whether in the context of a work or social environment. However, I also think the way people talk about it really does demonstrate a bigger problem when talking about abuse when somehow who is/was abused is either part of the issue or enabled it.

Harkening back to the sentiments about Curly's inaction regarding Jimmy, I think the exact phrases I used/have seen show how there is an inherent belief that it is easier to overpower the effects of emotional/mental abuse that go in tandem with the perception of Curly as someone who should be able to. There is not an age you suddenly stop being susceptible to abuse nor a set point or low where you realize how it has affected you. You don't suddenly know to stand up or put a face on to face your abuser nor admit that you inadvertently enabled them to subjugate someone else to the same treatment. Maybe it's my psych brain but their is this growing belief that direct action is somehow easy or always the best method with the game shows you instances where it is not always the case. In real life that rings true too. He should have done more, but it's not impossible to see why he struggled to find a way or didn't even if it makes us mad.

It's not easy to suddenly gain a "back-bone". You don't immediately want to resort to aggression, especially if it mirrors the type you were a victim to. You don't want to believe you allowed yourself to be treated this bad, let it get that bad or allowed something bad to happen to someone else. It is easy to be in denial, to retreat to your thoughts or make excuses to avoid the painful truth. It's frustrating but in a way we know is relatable. It why we both hate and love Curly for it. We know we'd be better, we think we'd be better, we like to think we wouldn't falter in the same ways but it's always easier to say that from the outside looking in. It's easy to see what he was doing wrong because we are seeing it, not him, but the game really does make you picture what you would do if this was your raw reality and it's why this debate about Curly seems so never ending/contradictory. We can all say what we'd do but bottom line is that's much different when you're in the moment with all the emotions and human feelings attached.

I personally think Mouthwashing tackles the themes of rape culture, enabling, toxic masculinity, types of abuse and patriarchy in ways that are meant to deconstruct the typical straightforward views we mostly have of these concepts and how little subtilities of them are just as, if not more, detrimental than the overt/obvious parts. The game deals with the idea of little details and bigger picture in a way to show that sometimes the bigger picture is not the issue but the little details that make it up. It's why I have a personal dislike of depictions of Jimmy as the typical horrible person who would of course do something like this because the game is about noticing the little warning signs, the foreshadowing and foresight.

It's why I dislike the typical discussion of "bro code" and "boys will be boys" for the game because the game makes a point to avoid the standard depictions of such. It is about the type of men who still enable despite not condoning, agreeing or even perpetuating harmful beliefs because they can't see the little details or the ways it seeps into their everyday. The severity is not obvious to them as it was not obvious to Curly, Swansea or even Daisuke the way it was to a woman like Anya. There are little details about Jimmy that should ring alarms but if you are too naive like Daisuke, too distant like Swansea or too conditioned like Curly, they are just off markers.

There is 100% more constructive/concise ways to say "Curly was a victim of Jimmy's abuse on an emotional and mental aspect that clouded his judgements and perceptions in the scenario" while also critiquing on the side of "Curly still had a responsibility to protect Anya as a crew mate and Captain that he failed to do due to biases and stigma's he failed to surpass" without the weird condemnation people give him about should've knowing better than to let himself be manipulated by a person he considered a close, if not family/best-friend and had his own reasons to trust initially. Also stop being weird about victims of abuse in general with this fandom, like sorry not everyone has a like social epiphany the moment someone's nasty to them. People are treating it like you immediately know when you are in a toxic relationship immediately or comprehend when a person is actively dangerous and either it's your fault for not knowing how to leave/cut them off or you deserve it. Like the hypocrisy of people believing how certain fans treat the story reflect their irl views but not their own is crazy.

End statement is: I honestly don't even know man, I've been writing this too long and just like no man on that ship was perfect or really helped Anya when it mattered and I feel like pitting them against each other in discussion on who did the least or most or how it was justified sucks cause in the end Anya always did the most and best thing for herself.

[aro-culture-is]

aro culture is getting really annoyed with the relationships unit in your sociology class because the whole thing is just 100% amatonormativity.

:\

if think your teacher, professor, and/or TAs might be interested in discussing the concept, I have some idea of bringing up the topic?

I'd personally say something like, "Hi, During our section in sociology around relationships, I couldn't help but think it would be interesting to discuss how a sociological theory called "amatonormativity" might relate to these lessons. I gathered a few sources from the professor who coined it, a thesis written on it, and a law review written about the connection between it and laws in the USA. There's some connections between its use in feminist thought and in queer theories, and I'd love to know your thoughts about it. I personally was thinking of when [specific statement] was said, and how I would apply this theory. I hope it's as interesting to you as it is to me."

Coiner's current webpage: https://elizabethbrake.com/amatonormativity/

Thesis: https://vc.bridgew.edu/honors_proj/330/ (click download in upper right hand corner for the PDF, depending on the individual it may be worth downloading and sending that rather than a link)

Law Review: https://uclawreview.org/2022/06/09/amatonormativity-in-the-law-an-introduction/

[janederscore]

some experience-based advice: some posts can be legally incriminating, even if you didn't personally make them. just something to consider before you continue posting today

[ali3nboyfriend]

the more i move forward in my mental health journey the more i realize i am losing patience for bad habits i had in the past/that i’m working on moving past when other people perform them. case in point i get Really Upset and Very Frustrated when other people self deprecate now

[skunkes]

i dont like when character being blunt/having no filter = character just being Mean, and im trying to find a good balance with that for Talon. I guess it's not that hard since he's not an (active) overthinker and I have drawn him saying things he considers neutral that seem rude to others...I guess I have to find a way to show the opposite, too

[adhderall]

I'm not even gonna bother debating all these ppl saying this shit bc they won't listen (they never do), but this shit is so blatantly disconnected from reality.

if, say, a woman was on T for a while and then went off it, I can assure you she will NOT be treated like a ~normal cis~ without voice training and laser hair removal AT THE VERY LEAST.... and there's some who don't wanna do that anyway (which is based).

like no that is NOT "just a normal cis person" that person is going to have a very very different lived experience from the ""average cis [woman]"" .

"Oh but no one is entitled to know why she has a deep voice and facial hair and etc. they can just think she has a hormonal imbalance"

what if she wants to tell people? what if she doesn't want to pretend she has a medical condition she doesn't have? etc. etc.

noo you can't use this descriptive label though it's politically incorrect.

that's dumb as fuck 🥲

identity bullshit is ACTUALLY rotting everyone's brains i feel like im going insane.

[fromtheseventhhell]

Saying this an Elia Martell fan from what little we know of her, but I'm really sick of how fandom sees her as nothing but a perpetual victim and/or hater of Lyanna and Rhaegar. Where's fandom content of her being kind to baby Tyrion or headcanons of her plotting with Rhaegar against Aerys? Makes me wish GRRM would write more Fire and Blood books to flesh her out more outside of the "pretty victim" fanon Sansa stans want her to be.

It's actually so frustrating cause there are great conversations + theorizing that could be going on surrounding her character because we know we're going to be learning more about her in the future, but a lot of her "fans" are just stuck on using her as a prop. And honestly? That's because the more we learn about her, the more she moves away from being fandom's favorite passive self-insert character. If George has her doing anything it breaks their idea of her being the perfect victim which is what they love about her. They don't even like her character organically, they just like that it gives them a justification to hate Rhaegar and/or Lyanna. I'm personally neutral-positive about Elia, but I am very interested in learning more about her character. George has kept that portion of the story intentionally vague for a reason and I can't wait to see why.

[rubenesque-as-fuck]

It's so fucking wild how some dudes can be 100% oblivious to another dude being creepy as fuck to the women around them

[gotyouanyway]

this is the 2nd time narvin has got to a rural area and commented on how actually nice/beautiful it is and specifically mentioned children playing.. maybe in another life he could've been a nature enjoyer and good with kids

[hardoncaulfield]

I saw a post a a moment ago arguing that people who voice their dislike of being around children are horrible people. I don't think this follows, since what someone feels personally and how someone behaves are different things. A person who says to adult friends 'I don't enjoy being around children very much, I find it tiring etc., etc.,' but who behaves towards children in a friendly, supportive and encouraging way is not harming any children - just voicing their preference not to be responsible for the care of children.

In my opinion, acknowledging that you're not someone who finds caring for children rewarding is a useful bit of introspection to have done

[bandzboy]

antónio guterres was considered persona non grata by israhell and the response of the portuguese ministry of foreign affairs to this was like "we are so sorry" and they "regret it" like..... HUH?

[reinabeestudio]

you stop shaving as a woman and people just dont know what to call you anymore huh