#and i refuse to erase leeta and jake

[autisticburnham]

Sometimes a family can be a Ferengi, his Bajoran wife, his son, the son's human husband, his brother, and the brother's changeling husband

[katspacenine]

Star Trek Men, Ranked By How Well I Think They Would Do in a Boy Band

Bones 0/10: Antagonizes fans just to amuse himself, only scowls in photos

Odo 0/10: Refuses to join because he thinks the whole thing sounds suspicious 

Chakotay 1/10: Would sigh loudly during all practices until asked to leave

Neelix 1/10: Self-explanatory

Quark 1/10: Immediately appoints himself the group’s manager, does nothing but run poorly organized scams which Odo foils 

Picard 2/10: Appears in one music video, attracts a legion of fans who call him “Daddy Picard”, then tries to erase himself from the internet 

O’Brien 2/10: Stresses that he wants nothing to do with the band, but is constantly forced to help them

Rom: 3/10: Practices more than anyone else, but is still awful. Leeta attends all of his performances

Scotty, Saru, and Chekov 4/10: Always two counts behind, but are still loved because they are good guys doing their best

The Doctor 4/10: He’s a great singer, but would definitely get fed up with the other members and leave the group almost immediately

Paul Stamets 4/10: Claims he’s uninterested in music, but really just gets stage fright

Lorca 5/10: Would do great until it was revealed he was awful

Spock and Tuvok 5/10: Refuse to be involved in something as ‘frivolous’ and ‘illogical’ as a boy band, but secretly run at least ten stan accounts on twitter

Tom Paris 6/10: Thinks he’s way more talented than he actually is, gets by on his charm and looks

Q 6/10 If he applied himself, he could become a superstar, but he would be far too impatient 

Wesley 7/10: Could have been great, if circumstances were different. Gets burnt out and leaves to have a distinguished career in something else. 

Sisko 7/10: Too busy to actually join the band, but performs covers of their music to embarrass Jake at parties

Harry Kim 7/10: Somehow ends up with one line in every song

Kirk 7.5/10: Insists on being the leader, despite having no clear skill in dancing or singing, but is still very popular because he’s always ripping off his shirt off

Pike 8/10: The band’s actual manager/spokesperson, does an excellent job 

Garak 8/10: Can’t really sing, but is constantly creating drama so the group stays in the headlines

Hugh Culber 8/10: Has to take a leave of absence due to the stress of trying to keep everyone on track

Data and Geordi 9/10: Don’t entirely understand how they got into this situation, but still do an incredible job and are adored by all. Also Data has a dance solo in every song

Riker 9/10: The star of every meme compilation 

Bashir 9.5/10: The band’s resident ingenue. Gets the most media attention, largely because Garak forces people to write about him

Sulu 9.5/10: It’s Sulu. Need I say more?

Worf 10/10: Worf would join to try and impress Dax, then immediately become the most popular member of the group. This would irritate him greatly.