#and i promise ill write sth to use more quotes from that song

[wintersoldierland]

(no) space between us

He knows he’s dreaming, he knows it’s not real, but it’s so easy to fall into the dream. It’s easy to forget (ha!) about reality and get lost in the beautiful version of what-will-never-be.

His husband is spread on the bed, on those dark red sheets that just accent his beauty. He looks like a warrior king, glorious and covered in scars of battles fought and won. He looks like he could conquer the world if only he wanted.

“Fuckin’ gorgeous,” James breathes, nestled between Tony’s legs. They’re both naked and even though it’s cool in the room, he feels like burning.

Tony whines and raises his arms, giving him puppy eyes. “Come on, soldier, get on with it,” he demands.

James only laughs breathlessly and leans to finally kiss his husband. Tony’s arms wrap around his neck and they get lost in each other, not an inch of space between them. Tony’s skin is soft and warm against his, and their bodies fit together perfectly.

“Patience, doll,” James admonishes gently, sliding down to press kisses to his vulnerable neck. “It’s a marathon, not a race.”

Tony quaffs and teasingly tugs at his hair. James replies with a growl, before grinding his hips down. Their erections slide together and they both moan, enjoying the smooth touch.

“Wanna enjoy you.”

Tony tugs him up for a second, before relaxing against the bed, arms loosely wrapped around James’s shoulders. “Then I’m all yours,” he admits earnestly, eyes full of trust.

It makes his cock jump and James stifles his moan against Tony’s skin, pressing kisses all over his scars and the arc reactor, comforted by its light. Tony makes small needy sounds but stays put trusting James wholly.

Even after 6 years of being together it still takes James’s breath away.

James presses kisses all down to Tony’s hips, licking lovingly over old bruises and hickeys, before shifting his attention to his husband’s inner thighs. They’re ridiculously sensitive.

Almost immediately, Tony’s legs close around his head and the other man arches off the bed when James bites down enough to leave a big mark. Usually, he’s gentle but he likes to mark his lover.

“Needy,” he comments, but he’s breathless and panting and really, he comes across just as bad.

Tony just laughs and tugs him up again, finding his mouth. They kiss like teenagers, messy, deep and with too much tongue, laughing breathlessly. Tony’s eyes are crinkled in the corners and he looks impossibly happy and beautiful.

His husband doesn’t say anything, just watches James with fond eyes and quick breath, and they hold that eye contact even as he reaches for the lube and gently stretches him out.

Tony makes sure to keep his eyes open even as he starts making those wonderful mewling sounds, arching off the bed and shifting his hips, his cock bobbing in the air. James watches, enraptured, his own erection ignored for a moment.

“Come on,” Tony finally sighs, lips red and eyes almost black. James has 3 fingers inside of him and when he crocks them, Tony shouts in pleasure. “James!” he repeats, this time desperate.

James smiles and slicks himself up with shaking hands, that are steady as marble when he shoots someone, before pressing inside. It’s slow and gentle and he almost goes mad from the hot tightness around his cock.

“Jesus,” he whines, clenching his fist. Tony laughs breathlessly, so James shifts his hips and then his husband is shouting again, clenching around him.

After that, his thrusts stay gentle. Their hands intertwined and they look into each other’s eyes, swallowing each moan and sigh. The room is silent aside from the sounds of their lovemaking, and Tony feels so so perfect around him, under him. So strong and yet so fragile under his hands.

James is so so lucky.

“L-love you,” Tony manages to whisper, unwilling to break the gentle silence. James’s heart soars and he kisses his husband, just as love in him as he was during their wedding. “So much.”

“Love you too, baby,” James replies, just as soft. “In every universe.”

Tony smiles and then they’re tumbling from the edge together, in perfect sync as they often are and the room smells like them and lavender and everything is perfect.

When James wakes up, he’s not surprised to find himself alone. He's still cold - the cryo seemed to seep right into his bones and even under the blanket, he feels like freezing.

He turns to his side, and treacherous tears almost come up when he sees no one there. But, the Winter Soldier doesn’t cry.

He certainly doesn't cry over what will never be. Over a man that hates him, just as he should. Soldiers don’t get happy endings.

James should be happy to even be alive and not under Hydra’s control, he knows, but after tasting that wonderful life, it feels empty and painful. Like he’s missing everything that makes the life worth living.

After all, he’s still alone.

Steve ain’t the same Steve, the rest is dead, there’s a river of blood on his hands, the triggers are still in his mind, just waiting to be activated, and his arm is gone again.

He’s free but at the same time more enslaved than ever. Because now he recognizes what he could have, what could’ve happened if only fate was a bit kinder to them all.

Someone told him, a long time ago, how light carries on endlessly, even after death. Someone told him how there’s no true end, only another unexpected beginning.

Now, James can’t help but think that he misses his light. That he saw his light fade in that damned bunker in Syberia, when all seemed muddy and wrong and shattered, like a house of madness that never rights itself.

Yet, even after all the pain he inflicted, after all the people he killed, James can’t help but wish to look into those beautiful brown eyes and see the universe reflected in them, kind and soft and in love.

The sad truth is, however, that even the distance between Wakanda and New York doesn’t cover the true distance between him and Tony Stark.

That doesn’t mean he wouldn’t give anything to hear him say it again.

“I love you.”

more dream au can be found here, here and here