#and i only have like max 5 minutes to actually like. scrub dirt off in the shower.

[monachopsis-99]

our pipes are broken so i have to wash my hair in the sink…

[cllrnat]

My first attempt at writing:

Chapter 1

Major Berenice Griselda Wolfe, World Renowned Trauma Surgeon for the RAMC, was up to her elbows in viscera due to the continuing trauma cases pouring into the South Sinai, Multinational Forces and Observers Base (MFO). She had been sent to South Sinai to update the medical staff in new trauma skills, also refurbish and re-establish their new trauma unit.

The whole area had once again become a disputed zone, despite the beautiful resorts of Na’ama Bay and Sharm El Sheikh being full of tourists, and situated just 5 minutes away.

What had upset Major Wolfe the most was the majority of the casualties were children, blown up on their way to school. Also, the local, peaceful Bedouin were being targeted but for much worse reasons, their land was valuable and the greedy developers and corrupt officials were determined to move them further away from civilisation and totally isolate them.

To top it all off, after months of peace and relaxation as she starts the final leg of her Military Command before retirement, she receives communication that a delegation of Doctors and Surgeons were on their way for a 3 month secondment to observe and learn from the best there is – The World Renowned Trauma Surgeon – Major Bernie Wolfe.

Her legendary taciturn abruptness reared its ugly head, as it always did when she was upset. Not one who likes to show emotions in front of her subordinates, family or friends, she stomped her way around the base for the remainder of the day, puffing away on a cigarette. A sure sign to her colleagues that she is really pissed off but too frustrated to speak about it.

Major Wolfe was well known for bottling her emotions up and continuing with the British stiff upper lip. She laughed and let out a derisive snort at her own thoughts; ” friends and family”, there’s a bloody laugh. She had mucked up every friendship ever offered to her at the risk of getting too close to what she actually wanted and afraid of getting hurt, so she ended everything to prevent this. Running away was Bernie’s favourite past-time, not having to face personal issues.

Family, hah, she’d even married a man just to prevent gossip in med school and to ensure there was no risk to her military career. He, Marcus, had given her 2 beautiful children, but the distance between them was vast due to 25 years in the Army. She did love them, Cameron and Charlotte, but couldn’t show it, especially when Marcus was around. He would continually bring up her absences, despite knowing she had a military life all planned out when they had met, following in her father’s footsteps.

Marcus Dunn, now there was another matter altogether. He has a career in Orthopaedics which comes with the typical ‘Orthopods’ attitude. He also hated being known as ‘Major Wolfe’s Husband’. When they’d attended functions, he’d sneer at her attending in Uniform instead of a ballgown, like the other clones. He also detested it when his colleagues and peers cornered her to discuss her breakthrough surgical techniques and how exciting and rewarding her work must be.

Afterwards he would make her feel small and humiliated by muttering, for her ears only, that she may be a famous surgeon but she was a shit wife and mother. He knew just the right way to piss her off, so her scowl for the remainder of any evening after his snideness had more than a few people nervous in her Company, thanks to his attempts to demean her career and make himself look glowing. Conceited Orthopaedic prick, this thought made her snigger to herself as she puffed away on the cigarettes he hated so much.

Major Berenice Wolfe (oh yeah, he also hated that she refused to become Mrs Dunn when they were married) was shy, awkward and totally lacking in the social graces, unless she was scrubbed and gowned up in theatre, crawling through the sand and dirt at the roadside, dodging missiles or caressing a beautiful woman’s body. Then, she was all confidence and passion. Yes, Major Wolfe was gay. She had finally accepted this at the age of 50 and was now going to live life to the max. Sod what other people thought, she had been pleasing others all her life, now it’s me time.

Bloody good job she has asked for a divorce. It was all going amicably until they had gotten drunk during negotiations and he had said “he was glad, now he could find a real doctor’s wife, who could make him happy and satisfy him sexually”.

Since they were divorcing and drunk she thought she’d finally let him know, “So can I”, she lowered her head to hide behind her unruly fringe as she always did. Marcus being the typical arrogant arse that he was, went very still and quiet. He stared at her through squinted dark lashes, while his eyebrows almost joined in the middle due to the frown.

Bernie started giggling as she looked at his face, and pictured him in a cartoon with steam coming out of his nostrils and ears, this made her unique laugh fill the house.

She slowly stood and started to leave the room, then remembering who she was, she straightened her shoulders and became ‘The Major’, she slowly turned and in a calm and quiet voice informed him again, “So can I, and don’t you dare try playing the hurt husband with me, I know you have been playing around for years and turning my children against me, and before you deny it, I have proof of your infidelities, so should you try and manipulate anything I will show the children and the world what a manipulative sleeze bag you truly are”.

With that final arrow to his heart, she marched upstairs, packed her Army rucksack with all the items she thought she’d need, and left.

On returning to the base early, her Superior Officer called her into a meeting and explained the position they required her to fill at the MFO base along with their personal request for her presence.

She quickly explained her predicament concerning Marcus and their imminent divorce. He told her he was shocked her marriage had lasted so long. He quickly opened his computer and asked her who she banked with. Her confused look caused him to laugh out loud.

“Wolfe are you really that naive? That slime ball you’ve been married to for 25 years will no doubt try to freeze and strip your assets and take all your hard earned money, as soon as the bank opens tomorrow. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt Wolfe. He will leave you broke in an attempt to force you back. Well, he should have realised decades ago that the military take care of their own”.

“Got your bank account details Wolfe?”

With that, he made a quick call to payroll, opened her a military account and via online banking transferred all her savings and half their joint account in minutes. She looked dumbfounded, he just smirked and spoke softly to her, “Bernie do you think you’re the only one this has ever happened to? This is now my speciality, stopping my soldiers from being shafted by angry ex’s”.

“What about the property Wolfe? Who owns that? Don’t worry, our Solicitors will ensure the Land Registry is checked and that he won’t be able to sell out from under you. We’ll handle that Wolfe, now off you go Major, oh and enjoy the Desert won’t you.”

“I’d truly love to be a fly on the wall tomorrow Wolfe”.

They both laughed and he could visibly see her shoulders relax as she saluted, thanked him and went to pack her bag ready for deployment to Sinai.

Within an hour she was ready, bags packed and just like that Major Berenice Griselda Wolfe was getting divorced, once more had her own money, was forcing the sale of the family house to ensure she had her share and was boarding the plane that was leaving with the British UN Peacekeeping forces. She was given her own pale blue UN beret, since she was going to be part of that unit for the remainder of her military service. While she was in the cargo plane she text Cameron and Charlotte to explain what had happened and she would wait to hear from them.

That was 1 month ago, no wonder she was stomping around. She finished her soul searching, crushed the cigarette end under her boot and continued her post surgery analysis along with the analysis of her pitiful life.

She looked down over Na’ama Bay and a broad smile changed her whole visage. At least she had the pleasure of diving. Bernie had been diving since she had discovered the relaxing isolation of the sport about 25 years ago.

Unknown to her comrades Bernie had purchased a newly built home overlooking the Red Sea and had also invested in a SCUBA Diving Centre along with her close Egyptian friends. This allowed her free access to the sport anytime she liked, her friend Akram was fronting the business, and it was also an investment for her savings rather than just wasting it as she normally would have. At least this was a bit of hers, Bernie’s. Something that neither Marcus or her family could touch. A small smile appeared on her lips but also the sparkle went to her eyes. Bernie was sort of happy and content for a moment. This would all change in a few days, for the better definitely, if only she knew it.

Serena Wendy Campbell, a well respected Vascular Surgeon, Deputy CEO, mother of a delinquent and ex-wife to a misogynistic, alcoholic prick who had played around since they were married and blamed everyone for his own shortcomings, had recently lost her mother to Dementia, found out she had a sister (now deceased) and was once again a source of the vicious Holby Gossip Mill perpetuated by the porters and nurses.

All because she was attempting to keep her mother’s dignity in tact and struggling to care for her alone, that was, until she could no longer cope or take the abuse her mother was doling out. Serena took it all on the chin as usual, taking the criticism thrown at her by her supposed friends and colleagues. They actually thought she was abusing her mother, rather than the other way around. That was until her mother had to be admitted to AAU urgently, then they witnessed the vileness this horrible illness caused, they saw how her mother beat her, did not recognise her and accused her of things and in typical Serena style she took it all. They saw the scars on her back, left untreated because Serena didn’t want anyone to know she wasn’t coping and couldn’t ask for treatment and help.

Now she found she had a challenging Nephew with Aspergers and all she really wanted was ‘a bloody rest’.

As if he could read her mind and right on cue, Henrik Hansen appeared with an offer she wasn’t allowed to refuse.

“What?, You want me to go where?”, exclaimed Serena.

“Egypt, Ms Campbell, I thought I made myself quite clear on that point”.

“Well yes, but why me?”, Serena asks exasperated.

“Why not you? You run AAU, plus I want, no I need you to see how ‘The Major’ works and runs things”, Hansen said calmly. “I have a feeling you will be very grateful to me for choosing you in the long run”. With that he gave her a small smile and that was that.

Ms Campbell was going to be away for 3 months.

Serena got home and before she knew it, she was getting her suitcases out and all her Summer clothes.

Hansen had arranged for her to stay in a very nice Hotel near the base; she was not going to be staying in any military base and sleeping in a bunk, no thank you, that was not how Ms Serena Campbell rolled. At least he had booked the flight so she had a few days to relax and settle in before having to meet the others and the Military Staff she was expected to work with for the next few months.

Well at least I have a week of sunbathing and relaxing before having to get all military, she thinks as she packs suntan lotion and an assortment of sunglasses. Serena is one of those women who pack for every eventuality happening in one day; she’s actually surprised there are any of her clothes left in the house before she hears the taxi honking its horn outside, ready to take her to the airport, ready for her flight.

She relaxed in the seat, dreaming of sipping a lovely Shiraz while travelling in luxury to Cairo - or so she assumed