#and i need to take a break to eat dinner and also my roommates want to play scrabble...

[supercantaloupe]

hm. yeah okay this rent post is probably gonna be a while

[amaranthineghost]

ahh!! i think i speak on behalf of a lot of people when i say i need a part two, because that was so amazing and so beautifully written 🫶🏻🫶🏻

| I CAN'T NOT HAVE YOU, I'LL TRAVEL THE SOLAR SYSTEM TO MEND OUR STARS ( lando norris. ) |

ꕥ pairings: lando x reader

ꕥ parts: 1

ꕥ tagging: @gulphulp

ꕥ summary: they hadn't seen each other in months after their breakup, which left them in more misery than they thought. because now they'll do anything to make it work.

ꕥ authors note: I've been planning this in my head while writing the first part to this and i really like how this came out! going to work on christmas imagines and also finish up a request that I've been meaning to write!

ꕥ warnings: smut (at the end if you don't want to read that part), heavy angst (wanted to break some hearts), mentions of alcohol abuse and heavy drinking, mentions of eating struggles. not proofread the end.

IT'D BEEN MONTHS. months since he last abandoned her in their old apartment. since he drove off in his mclaren, punched the rearview mirror because he couldn't take it. to this day, he regretted it with every fiber of his being. he tried to convince himself for days on end, it was for the better. but was it really?

he was struggling. he couldn't sleep properly, staring at the dark ceiling, feeling beside him in the bed for another warm body, breaking his heart more every time he reminded himself that she wasn't here. it was cold.

it was cold despite the blistering summer heat of monaco, windows open to let in the heat. max swore at him every time because despite being rich, he was letting out cool air. but lando couldn't stand the cold. without her, his heart was frigid.

it worsened as the months grew colder and races passed him by. he was peforming fine, for now, but he'd reach his limit soon enough.

he hated when the air got bitterly frozen because this year, he wouldn't have her. he wouldn't have the heat that radiated off her to keep him warm.

he'd waste himself away with alcohol to forget the memory of leaving her. it turned his stomach in knots everytime to think of her watching him leave because they didn't know what to do to fix them. he wish he knew, he should've.

more often than not, he'd spent his nights on bathroom floors of the club, puking his guts out into the toilet, or sitting on the kitchen floor belonging his temporary roommate, max fewtrell. he sat against the tiled floor and wooden cabinets with a half-emptied bottle in his hands, tears on his face.

he'd sit there for hours, wasting away with every sip burning at his throat. he hated alcohol, but it was the only way to cope because he didn't want to remember any moment without her.

when he was nearly passed out on the floor, max would drag him up by his arms, forcing more than a few glasses of water down his throat. he'd grown familiar with his friend's new sulking.

max threw him on the guest room bed he didn't bother to make because he was miserable. he made it everyone's problem then. he'd leave his passed out friend a concoction of medicines to help with the hangover, he'd gotten used to this routine for the past couple of months.

when lando would stumble his way down the stairs, hands wrapped in his curls with a splitting pain through his head and a grimace on his face, all max would comment is "well, aren't you a pitiful sod."

lando rolled his eyes, groaning at the pain as he did so, sitting on a chair at the table across from his best friend, cringing at the resemblance of dinners with his girl—who wasn't even his anymore.

"jesus, mate, maybe you do need an intervention." he'd push his bowl of oatmeal towards lando, watching the expression on his face closely.

"I'm fine."

"clearly not," max scoffed, "mate, it's great havin' you here, but y'need to sober up."

"I will."

"you've said that last month, and the month before that, and the month before that." he shook his head, "I don't even get why you guys broke up."

lando groaned, rubbing his fingertips to his temple and chugging the water before he spoke, "it wasn't working out, 'ts for the best."

"for the best? are you kidding me?" he scoffed his friend's words, he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

to max, breaking up was for the worst. he could tell lando was in misery, and he'd guess she was the same, maybe worse. maybe he didn't know much, but he knew enough to know that they were meant for each other.

"I'm not kidding," he muttered, pushing the oatmeal around the bowl, his spoon clinking against the sides, "besides, we tried to fix it, 'n it didn't work."

he paused, "fix it 'ow?"

lando rolled his eyes, feeling the consequences of his actions through his head, mumbling under his breath, "we went out to eat."

"you're jokin' me?" he leaned forward, a look of disbelief and disappointment on his face, "you went out to eat? how's that goin' to solve anything?"

lando shrugged again, refusing to look max in the eye as he pushed the mush around in his bowl, picking out the bits of fruit throughout.

"you're a real geezer, y'know that?" he sighed deeply, leaning back into the stool as he sat looking at his idiotic friend, "it was a perfectly salvageable relationship, mate, and you just threw it away." he shook his head, his arms crossed against his chest as he leaned his head on one hand.

"you gonn' call me a muppet next?" he aggressively bit into the small strawberry.

"might as well because you're acting like one. now why did you break up with her?"

"she broke up with me." he quietly corrected him, though it didn't seem to shed light on the fact that they didn't try as much as they thought they did.

"then fight for your relationship!" max exclaimed, throwing his hands up in response, "did you ever talk about what was wrong?"

"we didn' have time to," lando admitted, "and we didn't know what to do." he pushed aside the bowl, having barely touched the food residing in it. it's gone cold now, just like him.

"make the time!" he suggested, jabbing his finger into the counter to make a point, "when was the last time you were alone together?"

"when we had dinner together."

max groaned, shoving his face into his hands, rubbing his closed eyes on his palms. lando was starting to give him a headache, "when was the last time you were alone together, no people, no cameras, no fans, just you and her doing something?"

"i 'ont know."

"jesus, man." his voice muffled into his skin as his face remained in his palms because of the idiocracy of his friend.

"well, what do you suggest i do then, max?" lando's tone got seemingly more aggressive and annoyed, the volume of his voice raising slightly.

"actually spend time with her! take her on holiday!" he suggested, matching energies.

"mate, I can't just ask her after months of not speakin'," lando's stool pushed against the floor as he stood up, he was agrivated. he harshly grabbed the bowl with the cold food and shoved it in the sink.

max turned in his seat, "right, so just give up and go back to drinkin' then?"

lando ignored the comment, it infuriated him because max was right. if he didn't find the solution to his problem, he probably would go back to getting blackout drunk. all in hopes that'd help forget his misery

he leaned against the sink with his arms, his head hung between his inner biceps with his eyes closed, taking deep breaths before asking, "how should I ask her then?"

"you truly are a muppet."

"christ, just help m'out here!" lando pleaded because he couldn't take it anymore. he'd been losing himself to however many bottles of alcohol that'd stacked in the bin and the amount of over-the-counter drugs he'd force down his burned throat. all to forget what seemed like an impossible fix, but all he needed was another person. just because they didn't know what to do doesn't mean others wouldn't.

and of course max would help. he just had to give lando a hard time for screwing up so badly because he would've never expected him to show up at his front door midday, stumbling drunk and muttering slurred phrases about her.

his first thought when he saw his disoriented friend was to wonder if something had happened, the obvious answer being, obviously. because lando barely drank. max knew how much he couldn't stand the taste and chasing burn so it wasn't often you'd catch him drunk, much less to this extent.

he knew it had to involve his girlfriend by the here-and-there words he could decipher from the rest, but he couldn't expect to get the full story from the utter nonsense his friend spewed.

it wasn't till morning max discovered the extent of lando's stupidity.

" 'ts your relationship," max sighed, "and you realize she might not be so accepting to see you."

it hurt to think about. he didn't know what was worse, for her to be in such misery like himself or for her to not want him back. his stomach tied itself in knots to even think about, but he was the one who left her in the first place.

"yeah, I know."

he was lost without her. everything seemed so meaningless without her by his side, though she hadn't been for months, even when they were together. but the idea of her presence somewhere in his vicinity was all he needed.

she was like a drug he tried so hard to quit because it seemed to be getting him no where. but he was addicted. all he thought about when he wasn't drunk was her. every single dollar wasted on booze was drank to forget her. the lack of her in his life.

so when he showed up at her doorstep, it was more than just a shock. she'd opened the door, the last thing she expected was to see him, standing with an expression that seemingly matched hers. the smell of booze wafting from his clothes and the bittersweet smell of his cologne she had long forgotten about. smelling it again brought back everything she tried to learn to forget about him.

she wanted to be mad, to push and kick him away, but she'd been waiting for months for him to reappear into her life. for him to come back to her, the anticipation built in her body every time the door bell echoed off the walls, or knocks that pounded against the door.

but instead she slammed the door almost immediately, and he didn't blame her. how could he when he'd been the one to leave. because on the other side of that door, her heart was pounding.

she'd been wanting to see him for so long, so badly wanted him back in her life, but what if they made the same mistakes? she couldn't take losing him a second time because she'd already lost most of herself when he drove away the first time.

because she'd watched her future slip through her fingertips and there wasn't anything she knew that would make her catch it.

she knew she was to blame for breaking them up. it was for the best, she told her guilty conscience, but it didn't change the heart-wrenching want to have him back.

she'd spent months in the cocoon she made of their cold bed, ultimately settling on his side to feel closer to him. but what was the point? he hadn't slept in that bed in months, the sheets that reeked of him faded, and even more so when he left her, for at the time she thought, forever.

"love, please," he pleaded against the door, his forehead against the cold metal, "I screwed up, but please, let me fix this, us."

she hesitated. she knew she was the type to let people who hurt her back into her life so easily, as if nothing happened, but she was the one who forced him out. she knew that.

so when the door creaked open, he pushed himself away from the door as fast as lightning. her doe eyes peaking around, staring at his chest before they found their way to his face. he'd changed. he looked tired, unkept. she'd be lying if she said she looked the same as she did months ago because she honestly looked worse than him.

because being apart brought out their worst qualities in themselves that they'd helped the other through, but it resurfaced.

when he'd gotten a good look at her, he realized she definitely wasn't the same girl she was months ago. he'd notice the dark circles under her eyes, half-lidded and puffy, begging for sleep. the oversized hoodie he left her, though surprisingly clean, was well-worn by her. through the baggy cloth, he could tell her physique was slimmer, he felt nauseous.

she couldn't stand the silence between them even when they lived the last months of their relationship filled with it. they were both hurting and they both knew it, but they'd assume the other would be the one to patch it up. that's where they messed up, they seem to do it a lot.

"so why now are you here?" she'd cut through the silence with a butter knife, sawing back and forth as she stumbled where she stood. she struggled to keep her balance, lack of energy will do that to you.

"I realized how much of an idiot I was," he stepped closer, bringing his hand to hers, pressing her fingers between his. he trailed the pads of his fingertips down her hand and to her wrist. he'd latch on, caressing the soft skin, he'd remember the feeling.

"but I was the one who broke you with you."

he didn't mean it like that, to insinuate that she was the idiot for breaking them up because in no way did he blame her. he put the blame all on him for not fighting for them.

" 'nd I was the one who left."

she stared up at him, her big eyes doing things to him, he shouldn't feel it in a moment like this, but he did. he just wanted her back, to feel her lips on his, her smooth skin under his soft but callused hands.

her lips parted when she'd realize the feeling of warmth against her face, his hand running along her jaw to her chin. though she was already looking up at him, he pushed her head up further, but so softly.

his voice was raspy and deep, pleading, "please, darlin'." she couldn't say no even if the voice inside her head and the feeling in her heart told her to.

"just don't leave again."

he could never, not after the misery he'd been through without her, blackout nights to forget everything that had led up to their break up. he couldn't imagine the anguish he put her through.

and at those words, he couldn't hold back anymore, his lips colliding with hers so desperately, like he needed her to survive. he kind of did. he tasted faintly of alcohol and fruit, she tasted like mint. her lips moved softly against his passionate kiss because he was acting like she was his oxygen, his water, his everything because she was.

his hand tangled in her hair, the sounds of their breaths between their lips, the heavy heat that surrounded the air as they separated.

"let's go somewhere," he'd suggest, his chest rising and falling more noticeably now.

her lips became a swollen pink as she looked up at him, dazed as her eyes flickered between his green eyes, "where?"

he shook his head, smiling. god, she missed that smile. he spoke so softly now, "anywhere, you pick. it'll jus' be us."

money didn't matter to him. if she wanted to travel to the moon and back, he'd make it happen because he wanted to make things right. he wanted to show her he was all in now because he would never take another step out ever again.

so they'd travel across the world. he'd rent out hotels, restaurants, amusement parks, anything she'd want. like max said, he wanted this between the two of them. no cameras, no fans, no public. just them enjoying their time together and alone at the most beautiful places she could think of.

she'd end up on an island with him, the only other people being the employees of the resorts he'd rent out. he did everything with her.

they went on yachts around the crystal waters and coral reefs surrounding the beaches that they'd later lay and tan on. they'd talk as they bathed in the sunlight. snorkeling while holding hands and pointing out various species that inhabited the waters.

candle-lit dinners sitting across from each other, though their hands never left each other. they'd been offered fancy wines, lando ultimately opting out. she understood. they tried the exotic foods and other virgin drinks the resort had to offer.

they had long runs along the beach, heavy makeout sessions on stranded towels where they couldn't take their hands off the other, deciding to take the trip back to their hut over the waters.

when they'd make it back, he wasted no time because he missed her, the feeling of her around him, the taste of her.

as soon as the hut door slammed shut, his veined hand would be pressured on her neck, pushing at the skin under his fingertips to pull her into his lips. he was desperate, she knew that.

his lips were harshly against hers, she could feel the vibrations of his groans against her flesh, feeling his working hands across her chest, having left her neck temporarily to undo her tied bikini top. it was discarded onto the wooden floors with no further regard. they'd separate, foreheads pushed together and their noses clashing as their breaths mixed in the middle.

his head dipped below her jaw, biting at the skin of her neck. whimpers left her lips and she felt his smirk on her skin while she grasped at his curls. he slowly pushed their bodies towards the open laid bed behind her, her calf's meeting the mattress. he tugged at the elastic of her beach shorts, though deciding to take his time, which made it all the more agonizing for her, she needed him.

his lips trailed her body, leaving trails of his saliva and marks where he nipped at her skin, from her neck down to her chest. he groped her tits, earning a low groan from her as his tongue swirled her areola. she tugged his hair, his curls between each of her fingers as she bit back the sounds that forced through her throat. he was starved of her, which only turned her on more. she felt the heat between her thighs.

he'd kneel on his knees in front of her as he'd continue to leave a string of dark hickeys down her skin as he'd continue to her stomach, and just above her panty line, pulling the elastic of her shorts down. she'd almost just rip them off because she couldn't take how slow he'd move compared to when they first ended up in this situation.

his finger wrapped around the band, slowly pulling the material over the curves of her body, but he'd left her panties, which infuriated her. he did it all while looking straight up into her eyes, the glint in his eyes filled of lust and mischief. he'd lift her leg with his hand wrapped around the back of her knee, helping her kick off the clothing.

he'd kiss the skin just above the side of her knee, his lips glued to her skin as they traveled higher up her thighs, as well as his hands, sliding under the side of her panties. his nose brushed against the cloth of her cunt, ghostly stimulating her clit. it provoked a reaction out of her as she whined, and he'd continue to kiss along the line of her undergarment.

he may have started off desperate, but now he was taking his sweet time to take care of her. she wanted to badly for him to just hurry it along, wanting to feel him, but he'd rather enjoy the moment he had with her, like it was his last.

he pushed aside the cloth barrier, licking his lips as he eyed the wet patch caused by him, his warm breath panned across her cunt and she pleaded, "lan, please." god, he loved to hear her beg, it was music to his ears, but her moans were a symphony.

his two fingers slowly parted her folds, feeling her pulse under him as she moaned against the contact, he 'tsk'd at her reaction, "so wet for me, darling." his voice was raspy, deep and she cursed under her breath as she watched him lick her off his fingers.

the taste of her brought him back, he'd savor it because he hadn't before, not when he didn't realize it could've been the last. she was sweet, her skin smelling of vanilla as his nose brushed against her.

he'd had enough teasing for now, and gently he'd pull down her panties. she'd be fully exposed, but he was still dressed, his clothes feeling tighter around his body, specifically his swim shorts.

he didn't care. he'd thrown one of her legs over his shoulder as he flattened his tongue across her, feeling the tremble in her standing leg. he'd bury his lips in her cunt, vigorously tasting her like he hadnt eaten in weeks. his tongue lapped at her heat and she let out strings of curses interrupted by moans as she'd tug him closer to her by his hair.

vibrations of his groans stimulated her clit as he softly nipped at the sensitive flesh. he'd lapped at her cunt for not long before it became overwhelming, her moans growing high and squeaked as her legs nearly buckled.

he kept going, looking up at her with massively dilated eyes, half-lidded and seductive. her jaw went slack as she stared into his eyes, she felt the crescendo of her high and she'd nearly scream out his name as she came on his tongue. he'd lick up any remaining juice of hers.

his tongue left one long trail over her cunt, pressuring on her sensitive before pulling away, a trail of saliva connecting to his mouth and her slick glistened on his lips and chins. she panted heavily, he watched the rise and fall of her chest, felt the shaking of her knees as they nearly gave out under her.

he'd smile up at her, his goofy grin greeted her after her hazed high calmed. she'd roll her eyes at his light-heartedness after she'd just came on his tongue.

but it was moments like those that'd bring back the spark of youth and naivety to their relationship. because it was what they'd needed all along. all they needed was each other.

[1for5]

yes im changing

paige bueckers x reader

(paige x uconn psychology student!reader)

synopsis: with y/n being in a new environment, still facing rejection, how can she bounce back?

masterlist

chapter 5

the previous week was hell for y/n. she got to finish interviewing all the members part of the men’s and women’s basketball team. she plans on having study sessions with the team members starting next week. aubrey has been noticing dark circle’s under y/n’s eyes, and she’s growing concered.

it was a saturday night, and aubrey was going out to hang with the team, when she went out of here room, she saw y/n locked in with her research. she saw a glimpse of the introduction.

university of connecticut, in short uconn, is known for many achievements in their curriculars, and especially in basketball. according to previous research, many have grown fond of basketball due to university of connecticut, with many championship titles being brought to their home at storrs.

basketball in uconn is more popular than ever. with this, the researcher aims to see the difference of the resilience of these student athletes from the basketball teams of uconn. according to..

“girl thats dope, but you have been reviewing this introduction for the longest time. you need a break, your eyebags are telling you to do so.” aubrey said. “i just want a good grade.. so im eligible to transfer to stanford.” y/n replies nonchalantly.

“that is true, but you need to loosen up for now y/n. you have done a lot. im hanging out with the team today, you should really come so i wouldn’t have to worry about my teammate finishing cans of red bull. thats bad for you!” aubrey proposes. “i dont think i can..” y/n declines.

“im not taking no for an answer, so come into your room and put nice clothes on. i can wait for you” aubrey drags y/n out of her chair and brings her to the girl’s room.

“fine”

after 30 minutes, the roommates finally arrived to the destination: a steakhouse. it’s tradition for the team to eat at their favorite steakhouse at every start of the school year. the team may bring their friends and significant others to this gathering, but they all keep in mind to keep this gathering not too big and still quite intimate.

“hi y/n!!!” the team greets her, aubrey signaling her to sit beside nika and her. nika turned to y/n, and asked more personal questions about her life. they only got to talk during the interviews, and nika was genuinely willing to be friends with y/n.

they got more comfortable with each other, they found out they both liked rock climbing, building legos, and had mystery movies as their comfort movies.

while talking, one member of the team, kk, got curious. “so.. what’s the deal between aubrey and y/n? we didn’t know that y/n would be here, but don’t worry boo we’re all glad you’re here” kk asked.

everyone except for one

“oh nooo. y/n and i arent like that. yeah we’re roommates and we got close to each other but she’s not my type, don’t even know if she’s for the girls! i brought her here since she’s been too deep into her research. she needs to eez down” aubrey declined the allegation, y/n agreeing to her.

“only answer this if your comfortable with it but.. are you for the girls?” kk’s curiousity got stronger. “oh no its fine kk! yeah i am gay, just dont have a label. but i have never had a girlfriend before” y/n answered with a smile.

“OOOOH!” kk and the others exclaimed. “so what are you looking for in a partner? we could hook you up!” ice asked.

“i want my personal athletic or active, i dont know, they just have that aura. i also want my person to be quite smart.. i dont know guys its just attractive to me! and i hope theyre love language is words of affirmation. im a sucker for that” y/n shamefully answers.

“you know y/n, maybe your just talking about me” kk teased. “NOOOO”s and “EEEWWW”s were said after that, laughter all around.

after a wonderful night and dinner, it was time to head to an open basketball court. the uconn team loves to hoop after a good night out. its their only time to really have fun with their sport, no rules or anything. the steakhouse was just walking distance to the court, hence the team leaving their cars first at the parking area.

as they go into the court, y/n was smiling with the rest of the team, until she sees paige. paige gave her an eye roll, which made y/n feel quite annoyed and uncomfortable.

the rest of the team wanted to see y/n play, so she did, she was against paige, qadence, nika, and ice. y/n was having fun, but whenever she makes in contact with the ball and paige was beside her, paige kept on nudging her and slightly hitting her. paige was rough, which was not usual for her especially when they were just playing for fun.

the others felt paige’s competitiveness, and it didn’t feel right. kk calmed paige down. “paige whats your problem? she doesn’t play. that was foul” kk asked. paige just scoffed and ignored kk. kk was for sure that paige was hiding something, and she would have to ask next time when paige is more open to talk about it.

the team decided to call it a day. while they were walking back to the parking area, paige was dribbling a basketball, and started to throw it up— which led to another “accident.”

the ball goes forward and hits y/n again, but this time it was on her shoulder. y/n looked back to see who threw the ball, only to see that it was the blonde once again.

“what the fuck is your problem?”

[carlsworldsworld]

Fren I don’t even watch Twd but pls anything with negan rick grimes or Daryl Dixon I beg

A/n: girl dw I got you I chose Rick and smut if that’s fine with you. Also this was written on my phone so I am so sorry abt the Grammer

Stress relief

Rick Grimes x fem!reader

Summary: You help out Rick when he needed some stress relief lucky for the BITH of you Rosita and Carl aren’t home.

When Ricks group first came to Alexandria you welcomed them all with a warm smile. When you first saw Rick you couldn’t keep your eyes off him you just couldn’t help it. You let your eyes wander down to his hands which were all veiny and you couldn’t help it as you clenched your thighs together.

“Y/N did you even hear me” You looked up at Jessie. “No what were you saying?” You asked looking at her as she rolled her eyes. “Rick, Carl, and Rosita will be staying with you because you don’t have roommates.” She said walking off before you could protest.

“Right this way” you said leading then to your house. The entire way there you could feel someone staring at you. You showed them their showers and rooms, once you were done you got into the shower.

It’s been six months since that day. You knew it was wrong because of how much older he was but you couldn’t help it your growing feelings for Rick Grimes.

( time skip to about 8 months after they met because I’m to lazy to write it all out)

Today was your day off, you got to lay back and relax. Rick had the complete opposite he was sent on missions then after that having guard duty, he envied you. Once he got home you looked at him from the couch “jeez you’re a mess” you paused “where’s Carl and Rosita?”

You looked at the door as if they were gonna walk in. “They’re at hilltop trying to help them with crops and kind of got stuck” Rick said walking over to the kitchen as he explained but before he could open it you stopped him.

“I don’t think so” you looked up at him “first take a shower and clean yourself up then you can eat” he rolled his eyes “fine” he walked upstairs and you went back to sitting on the couch. About 20 minutes later you hear the shower turn off. Rick walked downstairs with just a pair of pants no shirt.

You couldn’t help it as your eyes slid down his body biting your lip when you looked up at his face you saw he was already looking at you and you felt yourself blush. You couldn’t help but notice that he had shaved.

“Do you think you can cook? I practically cook like Carl” he said breaking the awkward tension in the room. “Yea sure I was about to cook dinner anyway” you said getting off the couch, you didn’t even notice when your pajama shorts slightly rose up exposing a tiny bit of the bottom of your butt cheek.

You felt Rick’s gaze on you as you walked into the kitchen. You felt Rick slide behind you going into the kitchen you couldn’t help but shiver. You felt his breath against your neck. “You know how long I’ve wanted to get you alone? Hm” he said pressing into your backside making your hip press harshly against the counter making you let out a small whimper.

He turned you around so you were facing him. “Rick wai-“ before you could finish Rick cut you off “if you want me to stop I’ll stop and just leave you here”

You bit your lip and then answered “then do it” as soon as you said his lips were on yours, picking you up and instinctively you wrapped your legs around his waist. He placed your butt on the island unbuttoning your pajama shirt and pulling it off.

As quickly as he started pulling off your shirt he pulled off his then the rest of both of your clothes. Before he did anything else he stopped to admire you. “You’re so beautiful Y/N” you blushed at his words. He walked between your legs kissing you again. Without warning he thrusted into you hard. Making you let out a loud moan of pain and pleasure.

He paused as he bottomed out his face buried in your neck letting out small moans and planting kisses on your neck. You were panting and letting out small whimpers into his neck as you were trying to accommodate his size.

He grabbed your face making you look at him “are you okay Y/N?” He looked at you with a bit of concern in his face. “I’m fine” you said giving him a small kiss and wiggling your hips urging him to move.

He pulled out almost all the way and then slammed back into you causing you to let out a loud moan throwing your head back. He started a ruthless pace his head dropped into your neck him letting out loud moans and you letting out whimpers and moans occasionally.

He let out a lewd moan as he felt you clench around him “fuck I’m close are you” he whispered in your ear speeding up “yes” you whimpered into his neck letting out a loud moan into his neck as you came Rick not far behind. He groaned loudly as he spilt himself into you to far gone to even realize what he just did. After cleaning you both up he lied down in bed with you cuddling up against you. Both of you falling asleep.

A/N: y’all I’m so sorry this is bad and kinda short I’ve never rlly written smut before so I am so sorry😭😭 also do y’all maybe want a part 2?

[bagopucks]

J. Hughes - It’s Out There

✄————————————

Jack Hughes x Reader

Requested✨

Word Count: 5.1k

Warnings: a bit of ass grabbing💕, talk of ED, general angst (not proofread)

—————————————

The horror stories weren’t exactly true, but they also weren’t far off. College is what one makes of it. That I learned early on. I kept up with the work, I built a steady routine, I put forth my best effort. Things so far had been fine. I had enough time for my major and my life.

Taylor on the other hand.. she wanted to party. I loved her. I truly did, but sometimes her complaining stressed me out. We were roommates, and I always offered my best advice and a helping hand when she needed it. But she never put forth her own effort. Jack often heard about her when I needed time to complain.

Today though, I had gotten her to sit down with me and study. I promised breaks here and there, and even a late dinner. We’d both missed out on lunch for finals, neither of us were exactly hungry considering the stress. We were in need of food. But more importantly, we were in need of better help.

I managed well with our other classes we had together. I let her copy my notes and we discussed and reviewed, but when it came to math, we were both scattered.

So we decided to take a brief break.

I leaned back against the wall, sitting on my bed, while Taylor mirrored me from her own bed. I texted Jack, while she no doubt scrolled through social media.

I enjoyed the silence. Not interrupted or broken by anything but the quiet flow of air through the AC in the room. Occasionally Taylor would send me something on Instagram, and our silence shifted into both of us scrolling through our social media apps and sending each other things.

I sent her a video of a French bulldog, I received a post in return that I couldn’t quite make out from the small notification. So I opened it.

“Jack Hughes Finally Off The Market?”

It wasn’t anything more than one of those meme pages, but the photo of Jack and I kissing at his favorite cafe in the city- that was what caught me off guard. I felt my stomach turn, my entire being feeling like it fell through the floor.

It had been pitch black that night. Nobody had even been on that street when we came out. How did somebody get a photo?

“Tay,” I glanced at the likes. There were enough to make me nauseous. I decided to check the comments, hopeful that perhaps somebody would point out how it was a joke. I knew that was unlikely though.

“Where’d you find this?” Fear gripped my heart as I read through comments.

‘Can’t see her face :|’

‘Great content bud’

‘Fuck her’

‘Don’t worry guys, it’s me’

‘Hands couldn’t even fit around that ass’

‘I’ll bet she’s pretty’

A different degree of reactions all around. My gaze remained on some longer than others.

“Just on Instagram. Since you started dating Jack I just.. I don’t know, guess I started keeping up with the hockey stuff.”

Taylor looked up at me, and I looked up at her. I was pale, she looked careless.

“Hun.. I wouldn’t worry. It’s a meme page. Nobody takes their stuff seriously.”

Taylor had a point, but at the end of the day.. that was still a photo of me and Jack. Whether people believed it or not, to me, that was very clearly, me and Jack.

“Why don’t we skip the next break and get back to studying.. okay?”

I was reluctant to agree, but Taylor eventually pried my attention away from my phone. Or at least she thought she did.

The rest of our night was spent studying. We had gone out to grab something to eat from the nearest fast food place, and ate together watching the hockey team of my hometown city play. The Devils didn’t have a game scheduled for a few days, so I took it as an opportunity to check up on my other team of interest.

After the hockey game, we had both called it a night. With the lights out, and the only sound being the occasional thump of footsteps or somebody in a room around us, my mind wandered. It wandered to the point that I had grabbed my phone again to check for any news.

Nothing.

The internet still seemed oblivious.

I went back to the post to look at it. There were more comments and likes, but nobody had considered it a real possibility yet.

I spent hours awake, staring at the screen, turning it off only to give in and turn it back on, waiting for my entire world to crumble around me.

I fell asleep somewhere around four am.

When I woke up, I forced myself away from my phone to focus on my last final. I told Jack that I would visit him after it was completed and I was off for spring break. I had that to look forward to, but every time I thought of Jack, I thought of that post. So I pushed it to the back of my mind as I entered my professor’s classroom and set my phone by others on the front desk.

I’d attest to the fact that my mind wandered a few times, but I would also say I thought the exam went well. Taylor promised to meet me in the mess hall when we were both done.

I stepped out of the classroom and flipped my phone in my hand. With spring break beginning officially for me, I only had one other thing to stress about.

Opening my Instagram was like stepping into a whole new world. I followed the Devils, the NHL page, ESPN, and a few others. Mostly just for news on Jack when it came out. But this time, the news about Jack made me sick.

I slowed to a halt in the hallway, before my body went into autopilot.

The first post in front of me was the New Jersey Devil holding a bottle of champagne in a photo. The caption was a mess of words in my head. A congratulations.. with my account tagged.

I forced myself to lower my phone as I jogged through the halls and out the first exit I found.

When I got outside, my pace slowed, and I lifted my phone again.

I opened the Devils story first. Another congratulations post to Jack.. and me. My name. Next to Jack’s. Something the media team was no doubt doing to try and poke fun at the situation. It was all in good fun for them. I could understand, but at the same time it made me want to throw up. They hadn’t even spoken to Jack or me. They didn’t even ask if we wanted to remain private. Instead they simply confirmed everything. As the story played through, the next one for the NHL opened. It was a repost, with a message that said, ‘welcome to the NHL WAGS FAM.’ With my account tagged.

I could not imagine the page doing it for another player, but this was Jack Hughes. This was one of their most followed guys in the league. They’d cover every moment of his life if it meant more money and a bigger following.

ESPN had a more formal address on the topic, but it was still about Jack and I nonetheless.

I blacked out. I blacked out so hard that I barely even noticed I was in my dorm until I heard the door click shut behind me. Panic was the only thing I had really felt before. Until I looked at the posts. The posts, then the comments.

There were a select few who congratulated, but the majority? The huge crowds? They hated me. It made a sense of dread bubble up in my throat, until a quiet cry escaped. Girls insulted me in every photo posted, guys asked why Jack went after me, some even said I was nothing but a distraction. People made fun of me for being a secret, they tore me down for not setting my life aside to follow him and his hockey dreams.

How did they even know about my life so quickly? How did they know where I went to college?

I made a split second decision. I grabbed a duffel bag from my closet and began to throw clothing inside. I was certain that I had forgotten things along the way, but there was nothing a quick visit to the convenience store couldn’t fix. I put my laptop in the bag, as well as various chargers I hadn’t bothered to ravel up.

I was panicked, and the one person I wanted to see was an hour away. Taylor called me a few times while my phone laid on my bed, but I hadn’t called her back until I was out of my dorm room and headed for the car.

“Hey! We were supposed to meet up.” Taylor’s voice called through the phone. I sniffed quietly. I hadn’t begun crying yet, but my nose was running nonetheless.

“I have to go into New Jersey early.” I spoke through a shaky voice. I tossed my bag into the back seat of my car before climbing into the front. I was quick to turn the vehicle on, and Taylor’s voice cut out as my phone Bluetooth connected to the car.

“Is it bec- of that post?”

“Jack and I are out. All of the sports media has confirmed it. Tay, I don’t know what to do.” I backed out of my spot before I tore out of the parking lot.

“It’s gonna be okay. I’m sure Jack will have it handled.”

“Jack?” I asked. Incredulous. “I love Jack, but I highly doubt he’ll have any of this shit handled.” He’d never been through it before. We were both amateurs at this, and now we were sinking together. I needed him. I assumed he needed me.

“Okay well.. I’m sure everybody’s happy for you guys.. yeah?”

“No! No, they’re not! They keep commenting on how shitty I am! And in that post last night, everybody was all over my ass! My ass!” My loss and hopelessness caused me to get choked up.

I’d always had a rough relationship with food ever since I was a teenager. People told me I was too skinny or too big. People told me that being insecure because I was skinny didn’t count. They invalidated my feelings while at the same time telling me my ass wasn’t big enough, or my cup size was awfully small. Then others would come back and say my ass was too big or my boobs might be distracting.

Depending on the comments, some days I ate, others I did not.

When I met Jack, I was healthier than before, but I still struggled. He always reassured me. Told me I was beautiful. That he loved me, thought I was perfect, and that gaining or losing a couple pounds meant nothing as long as I was healthy.

He made me feel safe eating huge greasy burgers and shoveling cake into my mouth on a Friday movie night. Likewise, he validated my feelings when all I wanted was a chicken salad and maybe a piece of bread or two. He always said, ‘as long as you’re healthy.’ And every once in a while he made sure I wasn’t hungry either. Especially after I ate salads. After he’d seen me put away pretty nice sized meals, he always made sure I had enough to eat. And that I was comfort able enough to eat.

It was amazing how a few social media comments could tear down so many walls I’d built, but it was deeper than that to me. These were Jack’s fans. If they didn’t like me, then why should he? Had he been lying to me all this time?

“Your beautiful ass?” Taylor tried to make a joke. A tear finally fell down my cheek.

“What if Jack hates me?” My bottom lip quivered. “He hasn’t reached out.. what if he’s breaking up with me?” The mere thought made me want to pull over and turn around.

“What is he doing today?” Taylor asked expectantly. I had to think about it.

“Media stuff?” The thought brought a moment of relief to my lungs.

“Exactly. You’ve had days before where he doesn’t text until late in the evening and it’s never bothered you.” Taylor’s voice gave me the encouragement to continue on.

“I know this didn’t happen in time like you guys planned it, but it’s all going to be fine. The crazy fan girls will always be mean, but people are going to get over it.”

“Yeah.. but what if they hate me forever?”

“They might. But oh well, right?”

Taylor was right. But that still didn’t make me feel any better. I gripped the steering wheel tighter.

“When does Jack get home?”

“I think.. I don’t know? Maybe around three?” I breathed out a sigh.

“So you’ll be there before him?”

“Yeah?”

“Why don’t you go see him at the arena?”

“And bother him? After all this?”

“If it’s a media day, you know he won’t be that busy. And it’s better than torturing yourself at his place for hours.”

She was right.

“I’ll have to think about it..”

“Don’t think too much.”

As if I hadn’t been overthinking everything that day already. Our conversation ended with mutual good lucks, and the familiar monotone beep of a dead line. I sighed, wiped the tears from my cheeks, and focused on the road ahead.

My hour in the car was spent flipping through radio stations, trying to find music that was loud enough to distract me or soft enough to calm me. Nothing worked. My jaw was clenched most if not the entire time. My face hurt. My cheeks hurt. My fingers felt stiff every time I pulled a hand from the wheel.

And entering Jersey didn’t help. It felt like a smack upside the head. A loud call back to my horrible reality. I felt like everybody outside the car was staring in. Everybody knew who I was. Everybody hated me. They were all looking at my body.

By the time I had pulled into Jack’s own apartment community, I felt like I was suffocating trying to choke back tears. I parked in the lot outside of his complex. I gave it five minutes. Then another five. Then another five.

I grabbed my phone and opened TikTok this time. I typed Jack’s name into the search and hit enter. The first video eased my mind. Somebody saying how beautiful I was.. how happy they were for Jack.

The next broke my heart. Comparing me to the first girl. To the hot girl. The skinny girl. The perfect girl. I’d seen videos here and there before of people saying how they thought Jack and his ex had been such a beautiful couple. People said they ‘missed’ her. Like they ‘knew’ her. I never let it cut too deep, because they didn’t know I existed.

Now it was blatant. Now they said things like that, because she was better than me.

I put my car in reverse.

Taylor was right. I’d torture myself if I didn’t see Jack.

Closing the distance between myself and the arena was like beating a new nail into my coffin with each mile. It only stressed me out more. But I hoped Jack would take it all off my shoulders. If he had time.

The thought that he’d be too busy also occurred to me, but even being in the same building as him, I decided, would be soothing.

I had pulled into the private parking area before climbing out of my car. My face was red, but I had since stopped the tears. My heart was set on Jack. Nothing else could distract me.

I walked through the double doors at the bottom, stepping right into one of the many entrances. I was quick to find the hall that led to the private facilities. I walked past maintenance closets, and equipment rooms, before my swift pace was brought to an abrupt halt by a body stepping out of the lounge.

I gasped. He grabbed me by the shoulders. When I looked up, my eyes caught Jesper. His gaze softened from surprise to sympathy. We stared at each other, both uncertain of what to say. He spoke first.

“Jack was worried when you didn’t text him that your final was over.” He spoke, as if having an ‘A-ha’ moment. He let me go. I reached to rub my eyes again, fearful that something was still there.

“He didn’t text me all day.” I countered.

“Well.. he didn’t want to distract you. They won’t stop asking him about you.” My brow furrowed in question.

“He’s in with reporters right now.” Jesper gestured down the hall. I assumed he meant Jack was in the locker room. “They won’t let you go.” Tears welled up in my eyes again.

“We can wait for him together?” I nodded.

Jesper walked me into the lounge and grabbed me a bottle of water.

“I was shocked when it came out.. I know you and Jack were trying really hard not to be public.” Jesper sat down on the couch, and patted the empty cushion next to him. I sat beside him as he handed me the bottle of water.

“I shouldn’t have kissed him that night we went out.” I breathed out, shaking my head. I unscrewed the bottle cap and took a sip of the liquid. It helped refresh my dry throat.

“Can’t limit your happiness to closed doors.” Jesper had a point, but if I had limited my happiness to closed doors, I wouldn’t be miserable right now.

“Bratter?” My head shot in the direction of the door at the sound of a Swiss accent. I raised a brow at Nico in the doorway, dressed in a sweater covered in a colorful floral pattern. Nico looked right back at me, staring me down with that, ‘stays between us’ kind of expression.

“What the hell are they making you do in there?” Jesper asked, slinging an arm over the back of the couch.

“Some spring skit.. I don’t know. I acted really bad so they wouldn’t use me for it.” Nico quickly peeled the sweater off. “Your turn.” He stepped into the room and tossed the sweater at Jesper.

The blonde looked rather displeased, but he swiftly grabbed the sweater and stood up.

“You sit with her and wait for Jack then.. okay?” Nico and Jesper exchanged looks before the Swiss man nodded, then the Swede left the room.

“So,” Nico turned back to me. He fixed his hair, pursing his lips. “Jack’s pretty tense.” He plopped down on the couch next to me, my body jolting slightly at the way the sofa bounced. “How are you feeling?”

“Like shit, Nico.” I glared at him. He was trying his best.

“Right… everything’ll iron out.” He pulled his phone from his pocket. “You wanna play chess while we wait?” I glared at him once again. How could a man so thoughtful like Nico be so… lost when it came to this stuff? Because he’s been single for far too long. Jack always tried setting him up, but Nico was never interested. Said there were too many cultural differences.

“I have air hockey on here too.” He gave me that dumb lopsided smile. That smile that I always rolled my eyes at. Now I just wanted to wipe it off his face and tell him he was no help. But I gave in. I needed a distraction. I pulled my legs up onto the couch and turned my body to face Nico. He opened the game and set his phone down between us.

He started the game. I was better than him at it.

“People being mean to you?”

“You have no idea.”

“I checked some of the comments on the Devils post.” I glanced up at him before looking back down at the phone.

“It’s not good.” I shrugged.

“People make fun of my eyebrows sometimes.” I looked back up at him. Nico looked sincere, yet his eyes were still focused on the phone. I had to look back down. If he scored, it would only interrupt the flow of our conversation.

“Kids used to do it a lot in school. I used to ask my sister to fix them for me.” Somehow, the idea of a tiny Nico asking to have his brows waxed was amusing, but I held in my laughter for the sake of his ego. “Kids called me angry birds. I didn’t know what it meant for the longest time. But I knew I just hated my eyebrows.”

I wasn’t sure where he was going with this, but it felt great to be understood nonetheless.

“Now everybody’s calling you a bunch of things, and I know it’s hard. But I’d suggest listening to what the people who love you say. They know better than anybody else.”

I scored on Nico. We both looked up at each other, and I offered him a sad smile.

“Means the world to hear, Nic. Sorry for calling you the Eagle from the muppets.”

His brows knit together in confusion. But I didn’t have time to explain the subtle joke before we both heard quiet complaining in the hall. Jack’s ever gentle voice laced with tension and stress. Maybe even shaking.

“Where’s Nico?”

“God- I just wanna talk to Nico!”

I quickly stood up and took the bottle of water with me as I stepped out into the hall. Jack was gone. My gaze flickered about until he emerged from a room, he must have been on a pretty aggressive hunt for his captain. Jack stopped though when he spotted me. The emotions returned. He looked as stressed as I’d felt before. Now I only felt overwhelmed and sad.

“Babe?” Jack slowly made his way down the hall to meet me by the lounge door. He was gentle when he pulled me into a hug, dipping his head to rest against my shoulder while I wrapped my arms around his neck, careful not to spill my water.

“It’s all gone to shit.” I whispered.

“I’m so sorry..” Jack mumbled in response. Neither of us could have been prepared for this. And it wasn’t either of our faults.

“Jack don’t apologize.” I pulled back, feeling the familiar sting of tears in my eyes.

“I’m done for the day.. I got done early. Let’s just go home.. please.” He sounded as desperate to get out of there as I was to get to him. I nodded.

——————

Jack drove us back to his apartment. I didn’t care enough about my car to be away from him for too long, but I had grabbed my bag. He let me inside before himself, but we never left each other’s eyesight. The second Jack pushed the door shut, his arms were around me. I reached a hand up to hold the back of his head, my other hand resting overtop of his own that lay on my stomach.

“They asked me so many things about you.” Jack mumbled.

“Jack.. baby.. you don’t think..” was now even the time to bring it up? I sighed. “I’m not too big for you.. am I? Or too small? Or too anything?”

Jack pressed a kiss to my shoulder.

“You’re just right. You always have been. Always will be.” He slowly pulled away to walk around in front of me. “Are they saying stuff about your body?” He looked so disgusted by the fact, but Jack was more worldly innocent than one might assume. He never wanted to expect the worst from others.

“I guess so..” I shrugged, rubbing one of my arms. My body language said enough. He could always tell when I was uncomfortable.

“You shouldn’t look.” Jack reached out to rest his hands on my upper arms.

“I know that, Jack. I just- I guess I just wanted them to like me.” I looked down.

“Hey, hey.” Jack moved one of his hands to rest his fingers beneath my chin, tilting my head up. “They will. They’re gonna love you.” His brow furrowed as his eyes searched for my own. But I still couldn’t be bothered to make eye contact. “Babe.. babe look at me.” He wasn’t demanding. He was gentle. Encouraging. He was always so kind to me. Even his behavior in this moment brought tears to my eyes. I looked at him though, and I watched his heart break in slow motion. I watched his eyes grow solemn.

“It’ll just take time. Just give it time.” Jack pulled me into another hug, his arms wrapped tightly around my body as one hand laid between my shoulder blades and the other pressed into the small of my back. I buried my face in his chest. I wanted nothing more than to go back to the day before, when nobody knew about me. When I was just me.. just a university student.

“Jack,” I whispered into his chest. I slowly lifted my head. He looked down at me. His expression showed nothing but devotion. He was ready to pull the stars from the sky if I said the word. “We’ll be with each other through this.. right?”

“Stay with me through spring break…” the offer was a surprise, but one I wasn’t opposed to. We both needed each other, and time away from my college campus was never a bad thing.

“I think I can do that.” I sniffled as I slipped my hands between our bodies, resting them on his chest. Being in his arms was the most comforting thing in the world. Going through this whole ordeal seemed a lot less stressful when I knew it would be spent with him.

“I love you.” Jack whispered, a grin forming on his lips as his hands wandered to my hips, only to eventually find my backside. I jumped at the feeling. “I want you to love yourself too. Please don’t let people convince you you’re not perfect.” Jack’s words were easier said than done.

“I wish you’d just see yourself the way I saw you.. god you’re such an Angel to me.” He pressed a kiss to my head. My heart fluttered as my temperature rose. “They’ll see you that way one day too.” Those promises were debatable, but believing them made me relax. Maybe if I just lived in Jack’s world for a little while.. his positive reality, it would be better in the long run.

Despite the fact that we still had hours left in the day, neither of us seemed too interested in going anywhere or doing anything. Jack and I ended up in bed together. We both had the bare minimum on.. bodies mark-less but heads full of love. I could still feel Jack’s lips pressed against each of my insecurities, and his hands massaging circles into my muscles. Likewise I swore I could still feel his skin beneath my hands. His silky hair between my fingers. Every dip and curve of his muscles committed to memory.

Jack kept me away from my phone in the most effective way.

Moments ago, lips had trailed my shoulders and my arms, down my chest and around my stomach and sides. He’d put the work in on my thighs too, so gentle and sweet. He never left a mark. It wasn’t that kind of night. His kisses were passionate, but not lustful. He was so full of love.. so heartfelt in each of his movements. Jack was one of a kind.

I laid, curled into his side, my head resting in the space between his arm and his chest, just beneath his shoulder.

“Ya know.. I saw a girl today say she missed your ex.” I spoke quietly, afraid to disturb the peace. But it was on my mind nonetheless.

Jack tensed. He shuffled, then picked his head up to look down at me.

“I don’t.” He scoffed. “She was horrible.”

I turned my head to look at him, but Jack rested his head against the pillow again before I could see his eyes.

“What was she like?”

“Nothing like you. She came around at a busy time.. right after the draft. I was too distracted to really pay attention to all the red flags. She was mean.”

“Does it bother you when people say they miss her?”

“It would if there was something to miss.” Jack moved his shoulders to shrug before halting when he realized my head was there. “It would be a different story If it was you.”

“What?”

“If it was you.. I’d miss you too. I was so worried you’d back out when you saw everything today. I didn’t want to lose you.. but by the time I could speak to anybody, our whole social team just put it out there.” Jack slowly turned onto his side, my head fell to the bed. He wrapped his arm around me and I quickly turned to mirror him.

“I would never leave over something like this. You mean too much to me.”

“I’m glad we’re on the same page then.” The sound of my phone ringing from the floor had me slowly turning to get up, but I only got my back turned to Jack before he pulled me against his chest. I yelped out a laugh.

“Jack.” I reached to pry his hand from my stomach.

“No phones.. please?” I sighed. The chances of somebody actually needing me were slim, so I let the call go unanswered.

“Alright. You win baby.” I carefully rolled over, pulling his hand from my body and pressing a kiss to his knuckles. Jack smiled. He loved a lot of things, but being pampered was one of his favorites. I pressed another kiss to the back of his hand, then one to his wrist, before playfully biting and kissing all the way up his arm. Kissing him everywhere just like he’d done to me before. Jack broke into a fit of giggles by the time I reached his forearm. After I got to his shoulder, I raised my lips to his own, pressing a much deeper kiss there to silence him.

When I pulled away, Jack’s baby blues eyed me. I kissed his jaw. “God.. they’re gonna love you so much.” He whispered, shaking his head. Astounded.

“They just don’t know you yet.. but they will.”

“As long as they don’t love me more than you do.”

“Nobody can love you more than I do.”

✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾❀✾

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Since I’ve Been Loving You

Summary: A few months after helping the reader get out of an abusive relationship, Dean and she are ready to shift their relationship to more than being just friends. But when Dean goes missing and the reader is forced to leave him in a moment of need to get help, it’ll send them down a path exploring Dean’s past neither one of them could have seen coming...

Pairing: Cop!Dean x Cop!reader

Word Count: 18,000ish

Warnings: language, kidnapping, injuries, past abusive partner, murder, whole lot of creepiness

A/N: Hi there! If the title and first few scenes of this story seem familiar, you’re not wrong! I originally wrote this story way back in 2017 and at the time felt it was too “dark” to share, hence why I only used the first bit as part of a collab experiment (which can be found here). However it’s been awhile and I’m a lot more confident with what I share (and to be honest, I’ve put out worse stuff than this). Rather than letting it sit in my drafts forever, I’ve decided to share the original story I wrote myself! Enjoy! Also shoutout to @campingmonkey​ for reading some of my stuff I considered not fit for posting and encouraging me to put it out there!

_______

“I’m home,” you said, smelling something tasty from the kitchen. You kicked off your boots and wandered into into the back of the house where Dean was stirring a pot, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. “Dude, you’re not on dinner duty tonight.”

“How was work?” asked Dean, stifling a sniffle as he spun around a ladle in the stew he’d put on.

“Fine. You’re supposed to be resting Winchester,” you said, bumping him to go sit down. “I told you last night-”

“I’m relieved of my chores this week, I know,” he said, pulling the blanket tighter. “I’m lucky I’ve got such a nice roommate.”

“You’re the one that let me stay here after Redge,” you said. “I really should be making you dinner every night after everything.”

“No, that’s not how it works around here. We’re a team and besides, you’re awful at washing the cars,” he said, a tired smirk on his face. “How was work?”

“Redge was an ass but he’s always been that way. You get some sleep today? Go to the doctor like I told you?” you asked, Dean rolling his eyes at you. You crossed your arms and huffed. “Go tomorrow. I don’t want to have to drive you to a hospital over the weekend.”

“It’s a cold, Y/N,” he said. You dished up a bowl for him and yourself, not expecting him to eat much but he was still grumpy when you sat across from him. “I’m fine.”

“Alright, don’t bite my head off because I care about you,” you said, standing and grabbing him a glass of water. “Need anything?”

“No. Thanks,” he said, starting to pick at his food. You ate in silence apart from Dean coughing or sneezing a few times. He shifted in his seat more than once and you knew he was going to ask about work again. “You okay, Y/N? You’re never this quiet during dinner.”

“I got partnered with Redge today. I wasn’t a fan,” you said, playing with a carrot to avoid seeing Dean’s face. “I got used to working with you and being around Redge all day like that again with you not there just…I don’t know. I told chief I want to work with someone different tomorrow.”

“He still thinks you and Redge just had a bad break up, huh?” asked Dean. “It’s not like you tried to tell them about what he used to do when no one was around or anything. Although I guess it would look pretty bad to have the chief arrest one of his own.”

“Like I said, I owe you for getting me out of that,” you said, Dean shaking his head. “Still not biting on that offer yet?”

“You’re happy and safe, that’s all I could ever want from you,” said Dean, putting his spoon down, about half of his bowl left.

“You want to go up to bed or watch some TV with me for a while?” you asked, Dean nodding towards the family room. You cleaned up and shook off his offers to help, coming into the living room to find him curled up on the couch, his blanket still all around him.

“How you holding up?” you asked, taking a spot at the end of the couch, throwing your feet up on the ottoman. You put a pillow down so Dean could rest his head against your leg comfortably in case he decided to go to sleep. You put a hand on his forehead and saw him curl into the touch.

“S’just a cold,” he said, turning on the TV. You ran your fingers through his hair, knowing on the rare occasion Dean was up for a cuddle, he liked to have it played with. But even in those moments where he let his walls down all the way, he didn’t talk about certain things. He barely spoke of when he was little. You knew his parents got divorced when he wasn’t very old and that he felt like it was his fault just from the way he talked but that’s who Dean was. A hard man that could be softer and sweeter than any you’d ever met.

“I think I’m ready,” you said, Dean humming before turning his head up to yours.

“Ready for what?” he asked, giving you a sleepy smile.

“It’s been almost four months since I left Redge. You got me back to normal again, feeling safe and strong and like I have a home here with my friend. But I’m ready to try something new if you get what I’m saying,” you said, Dean’s face turning sad.

“You want to move out? Did I do something wrong?” he asked. You shook your head and gave him a smile. “Was it because I told you I liked you back-”

“Dean, I like you too is what I’m trying to say. As in, I’m ready to try dating again…try dating you,” you said, ruffling his head. “We’ve been flirting for weeks. Want to actually give this a go?”

“Why would you ever want to date me?” he asked. God, he could be thick-headed sometimes.

“I like your sense of humor, your kindness, the way you help people. You got some comfy flannels too,” you said, Dean’s face softening. “I like you Dean.”

“Want to go on a date when I’m feeling better?” he asked. You nodded and bent down to give him a kiss on the cheek, Dean pushing you away. “I don’t want you to get sick too.”

“It’s just a cold I’ve been told,” you said, Dean laughing before pulling one of his arms free of his blanket and reaching over to hold yours. “I love when you’re all cuddly.”

“As your new boyfriend I’m going to start getting very cuddly,” he teased, letting out a big stretch and a yawn. “On second thought…”

“Bedtime?” you asked, helping him up. “You need anything come get me. I’ll be quiet and let you sleep in. There’s leftover stew in the fridge but I’ll come home at lunch and make you something to eat.”

“I’m a grown man, I can make myself lunch,” he said, standing up as you grabbed his blanket for him. “I should really go to work.”

“You’ve got a ton of sick time built up. Take the day off and recover,” you said, patting him on the back as you got him upstairs.

“Night,” he said once you got him tucked into bed.

“Night Dean. See you at lunch.”

“Dean, I’m home,” you said, tossing your keys on the front table, expecting to find him in front of the TV but instead he was nowhere in sight. “Dean, I got hot soup and fresh bread from that place with the pies.”

The house was quiet and you sat the food down on the table, hoping he was passed out in bed. When you got up there the sheets were messy but his blanket was still there which struck you as odd. He hadn’t gone anywhere without it for two days, almost childlike with the way he carried it around.

His phone was near the bed and it wasn’t until you’d wandered around the house twice before you called Sam.

“Is Dean with you?” you asked, hoping for some odd reason Sam decided to drop by town this week and hang out with his brother.

“Hey, Y/N. No, I haven’t heard from Dean since the beginning of the week. What’s up?” he asked.

“Nothing, he’s just not home. He’s been sick and I thought maybe you took him to the doctor since Baby’s still here. Maybe he got a ride from someone else,” you said, stuffing lunch in the fridge and heading back outside.

“He didn’t leave a note? That’s not like him,” said Sam, his voice concerned now. 

“Yeah. He probably got a neighbor or something to do it,” you said, Sam obviously hearing the worry in your own.

“Give me a call when you find him,” he said. “I’d appreciate it.”

“Will do Sammy,” you said, hanging up.

When the sun was starting to set though as you were leaving the station hours and hours later, you were starting to go out of your mind that no one had seen or heard from Dean since you checked on him before going to work. Your one thought was it had to have been Redge. Who else but your ex would want to screw over the guy that gave you the courage to leave in the first place?

So that’s when you started to think like him, think of the places Redge used to take the two of you, when things got too messy for home. It was another hour before you were parking your car and slipping out of it, a backpack on your shoulders and the satellite phone you’d stolen from Dean’s camping gear in your coat pocket.

It was dark and the terrain was a bit dangerous and it had decided to storm out, making it almost impossible to see. You went in the woods a short ways on the path before veering off, heading west and deciding you weren’t stopping until you were forced to. After an hour you saw the abandoned ranger’s station and broke inside, taking a short reprieve from the weather. You were gazing at a map when you nearly slipped, the floor wet from your boots but you spotted a patch of dried blood on the ground that made your stomach churn. You looked back at a map and saw that there were a pair of mines about five miles out.

“Please tell me I’m overreacting,” you said, heading back out, eventually coming across the boarded up mine, a plank missing that was big enough to get even Dean and Redge through. “Overreacting is all. Just overreacting.”

You aimed your flashlight inside and saw nothing at first glance, then a pair of ruts in the ground where someone had been dragged. You shuddered and followed it down the mine, eventually turning right and left, your flashlight falling on a bare foot and then up to the slouched over man it belonged to.

“Dean,” you said, rushing over, shoving against him as you spotted the dried blood on his stomach, the dark patch and belt around his leg. A flannel that wasn’t his was balled up against it, his own shirt held in place over his bare stomach by his crossed arms. He didn’t even look alive. “Dean,” you said shaking him again, his skin sweaty and icy cold. “Dean.”

You heard a faint grumble that was music to your ears as you shook him again, getting a louder one this time.

“Back for more?” he asked, fluttering open his eyes, watching them go wide at the sight of you. “What are you…”

“I’m going to get you out of here, okay? Then I’m going to kick Redge’s ass,” you said, figuring out what he needed first.

“Wasn’t him. Bad guy,” mumbled Dean with a sniffle, trying to go back to sleep.

“No, you got to stay awake babe,” you said, grabbing your water from your pack and lifting it to his lips, Dean sucking it down fast. You tossed a space blanket you had over him and he looked like he wanted to cry. You put a hand on his forehead and it was burning up. “Shit, you’re worse.”

“S’just a cold,” he said, getting some sense back. “You got to go. Go away before he comes back.”

“Redge can’t hurt you anymore, Dean, I’m going to-”

“Not Redge, someone else,” said Dean with a shudder. “You think I’d be fucking scared of that pile of crap?”

“Dean what’s…” you said, Dean nodding his head and shoving the bottle and blanket back in your bag. “Dean, no.”

“He’s coming back,” whispered Dean. “Go hide and then get out. Don’t come back.”

“Dean,” you said, his hands using most of his strength to give you a light shove. 

“Please, do what I said,” said Dean quietly, your bag shoved in your arms as you spotted a flashlight down a different tunnel. “Please.”

It hurt to leave him but the look on Dean’s face made you do as asked. You took off and hid around a different corner a ways down, listening as footsteps walked towards Dean and stopped.

“Screw you,” you heard Dean say before he started to mumble and then take a big choking gasp of air. “What’d you just give me?”

“Medicine. You’re welcome,” said the voice, definitely not Redge and not one you recognized. “You going to behave this time?”

“Give me back my gun and we’ll-” Dean said before it sounded like something smacked him in the face.

“I stitched you up and everything. Couldn’t have let my new toy bleed out,” said the person, a man, his voice deep and harsh.

“I am not your new toy,” said Dean, spitting blood out of his mouth from the sound of it and coughing up a storm before breathing raggedly.

“No, you’re right. You’re my old one, aren’t you Dean?” said the man, Dean hissing as you tried to make out what he was doing. “Took a long time to find you, boy. Too bad Daddy’s not around anymore to come and save you.”

“Well I’m flattered but why don’t-” said Dean before you heard his head hit against the rough wall, a tiny whimper of pain coming out of Dean.

“Just as mouthy as you were back then. You don’t even remember me,” said the man.

“No but my dad sure as hell told me what happened when I was old enough. You took me right off the front porch, psycho,” said Dean. “You’re the reason they-”

“Your mom had a nice right hook,” the man said, Dean sucking in a gasp as he grunted. “Too bad she ain’t around anymore either. Been waiting a long time for this.”

“For what you freak?” asked Dean weakly, his mouth mumbling again as he huffed.

“It’s duct tape you big baby,” he said, Dean grunting more now as you heard him struggle, breathing in hard. “God, you’re going to take some breaking in.”

Whatever was going on, you knew that you needed backup and that you’d beat yourself up about not bringing your gun with you later. You got out of there as quietly as you could and radio’d the station, keeping an eye on the entrance as you hid. But neither one of them ever came out.

You stayed there for another hour or so, the rest of the station showing up finally, the chief waving you over to talk when they came out of the mine empty handed.

“What-”

“The mine is empty. There’s multiple ways in there. You’re sure this guy knows Dean from when he was a kid? There’s no report of anything ever happening to him,” said the chief.

“Wouldn’t be surprised if they made the whole thing up just to screw with me some more,” said Redge.

“For fucks sake, Redge, I just want you to not be an abusive dick, not go to jail for shooting and kidnapping my boyfriend,” you said, puffing out your chest. “So they’re gone? Dean’s just gone and we have no idea where he is? He’s hurt and sick and-”

“How did you find him?” asked the chief. “This isn’t exactly my first thought for a search.”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe Redge would like to share how I know about secluded places where people can hurt other people?” you said, crossing your arms at him.

“If she thought…I took Dean she would have gone to the old ranger’s station,” said Redge, kicking his boot on the ground. “Probably saw a map and figured if he wasn’t there he had a shot at being in the mines.”

“You two need to work on whatever issues you’ve got,” said the chief, giving you a hard glare.

“Can we focus on Dean? They can’t have gone far right?” you asked.

“Let’s hope not.”

“Coffee?” asked Redge, poking his head into the conference room you were using as a base in your search for Dean. You shook your head, holding up your cup. “How’s it going today?”

“Redge, don’t pretend to play nice,” you said, looking back over your shoulder. “We both know you don’t give two shits about Dean.”

“He’s a cop. We got each other’s backs and all that...whatever,” he said with a shrug, trying to take a step in the room before catching your glare. “You too, I mean if you ever need a friend, shoulder to cry on you can always-”

“He’s only been missing two weeks and you already think I’m just going to come crawling into your arms? Get lost,” you said. “You aren’t even working this case.”

“Okay, I’ll just go do my job and Dean’s then,” he said, slapping the door frame hard on the way out. 

Another week went by of nothing and then another and another. After missing for two months and Sam coming to stay with you to help out, the case officially went cold.

Another month and Sam had to leave town a few days, tidy up some things at home before officially making the move there but he swore he’d be back as soon as he could.

The chief told you to take a few days off and give yourself a break. You took the excuse with Sam gone to get out of town yourself, drive and drive until you were exhausted and crashing at some cheap motel a few states over. You’d spent the day in a bar and your head in a bottle and tried to forget about how he had saved you way back when and you couldn’t do it back.

“Another one,” you heard a guy farther down the bar say, your head whipping up. You didn’t stare as you heard him flirt with the bartender. He sounded like the man from the mines but you were drunk and couldn’t be positive. Still though, you jotted down his license plate when he finally left and got a cab back to your room. When you’d sobered up enough in your motel to figure out who it belonged to, you had a spark of an idea. The guy only had a few drunken misdemeanors but he owned a large lot of acreage with plenty of buildings on it.

The next morning you got up early and you threw on your boots and backpack, and headed out on the property. You checked every tiny ass shed, every big ass garage, every out building, every rusted old car until it was night and you were ready to curl up on the ground and go to sleep.

You only had a few more buildings though so you kept going, ready to hit the bottle of bourbon you took from Dean’s house the second you were in your room. It looked like every other shed you’d been in, pieces of junk and metal lying around. This one had a door hatch to a cellar like most of the others and the second you threw it open, you saw more of the same. You went down the steps, barely keeping your eyes open as you swung the flashlight around and your eyes went wide.

There was light down here and a sink and a tiny mattress and a whole slew of other crap that would have drawn your attention if not for the scruffy, green eyed man who was looking at you like you weren’t real.

“Dean?” you asked, watching him shake his head at you, your gaze finally looking over his body as you took in a sharp breath. “Dean it’s okay,” you said, pulling a knife out of your bag and walking over, his body backing up against the wall so fast as he sat down, giving you a hard glare. “I’m just going to cut you loose.”

“You’re a trick,” he said, looking around and you carefully took a step forward. “Don’t touch me.”

“I won’t touch you,” you said, holding up your hands. “But you want that cuff off your ankle? I have to come closer.”

“Give me the knife,” he said. You bent over and slid it to him, watching him grab hold of the thing tethering him to the back half of the room and cutting it free. He stood up and you smiled.

“Dean are you-Dean!” you yelled at him when he backed you up against the wall, holding the knife out, way too close for comfort.

“You’re drugging me again, aren’t you? This probably isn’t even real. Y/N would never be here. She just wouldn’t. You’re just making me think what I want again, aren’t you?” asked Dean, his face fuming under that beard as you tried to think of a way to calm him down. “You’re just-”

“I brought your shirt. The one you gave me that first day I moved in,” you said, slowing taking your pack off and handing it to him. He was only in the tee and pair of flannels you’d last seen him in, the clothes ratty and practically falling apart now. “The red and-”

“Black one,” said Dean quietly, giving you a long stare before backing up and ripping open the bag, the flannel right on top.

“It really helps when you’re feeling crappy,” you said, his hand holding the knife dropping it completely. He pulled the flannel out and you saw a flicker of relief on his face.

“Real?” he asked running his hand over it, looking at you and the open door behind you.

“You want to come home? We’re kind of overdue for our date,” you said, Dean giving you a head nod. He carefully put the flannel on as you pulled a pair of his sneakers out, glad you’d brought them on the off chance he didn’t have any footwear. You picked up the knife and stuffed your bag closed, Dean standing quietly in the middle of the room with his head down. “Dean?”

“What?” he asked, your hand taking hold of his, feeling so much rougher than you remembered.

“Come on,” you said, giving him a little tug so he took a step. He was okay for a minute until you got close to the stairs and you saw how pale he’d gotten, how nervous he was to walk farther than he’d been allowed to go for so long. “Nice romantic starlit walk,” you said, taking a step up, going one at a time with him as he looked around when you were in the shed.

“I don’t remember this,” he said. “I don’t remember after the mines until I woke up here.”

“We got a little walk to get to my car,” you said, stopping when the two of you stood outside and he looked up, taking a deep breath.

“Okay,” he said, spinning around happily before it all faded away. “Wait what time is it?”

“About 10, why?” you asked, hearing a truck off in the distance.

“We have to go,” said Dean, letting you take the lead as you tried to run, Dean a bit slower than you’d seen him before. “He drops off food at night.”

“It’s only a couple miles to the car,” you said, slowing to a jog so he could keep up, his hand shaking the whole damn time until you had him shoved in the passenger seat and you were driving away, calling the local cops. Dean was quiet apart from saying he was hungry and even after you swung through a drive thru fast for him, he was quiet, looking around like he didn’t quite believe everything.

By the time you’d gotten to the local hospital, a few officers were there to let you know they’d got the guy but Dean seemed more interested in arguing with the doctors.

“If he doesn’t calm down, we’re going to have to restrain him,” said the doctor, as you heard Dean yelling in his room.

“Dean,” you said, brushing inside past a group of bodies as Dean glanced around the room angrily. “Dean, none of these people are going to hurt you.”

“Tell that to the one that stabbed me with a needle,” said Dean, rubbing at his arm where his IV was and giving a nurse a glare.

“Dean. Check?” you asked, hoping he’d remember what that meant. You’d never done it on him and you honestly weren’t sure how he’d come up with the little daily check in’s after you left Redge but they’d always made you feel better that cared like that. He glanced around for a second and back down at himself in a hospital gown, all the marks on him proving life had been awful the past few months.

“Yellow,” he said quietly, willing himself to calm down. “Just tell them to stop poking me and touching me and…” he said as he looked around at the room full of people, rubbing his arms like he was trying to hold himself. “I’m sorry.”

“S’okay babe,” you said, holding his hand, nodding for the doctor to go back to whatever he was doing. Dean hissed a little when the doctor lifted up his arm.

“His shoulder is likely dislocated,” said the doctor to you. “Do you know if this is recent?”

“Dean?” you asked.

“Last week,” said Dean, ducking his head down. “I got in…trouble.”

“Let’s x-ray and see if we’ve got any nerve damage,” said the doctor to a nurse. 

“Dean, you tell the doctor and nurses what they need to know. I promise nobody’s going to hurt you. I’ll be right here when you get back, okay?” you said, Dean nodding his head as he relaxed around the people trying to treat him.

“Alright,” he said, giving your hand a squeeze before you were forced to go. “Don’t go too far.”

It took them two days before they released him, a whole slew of nutritional issues not to mention everything they warned you about. Apparently Dean was prone to sudden, potentially violent, outbursts now and your history of abuse didn’t make for a great combination.

It was fine the first night back at home with Sam helping out until you dropped the syrup on the floor after putting some on Dean’s plate.

“What are you a klutz!” shouted Dean, waving his hands everywhere. “You don’t drop things, got it?”

“Dean,” said Sam, watching his brother carefully. “That’s Y/N. She’s not going to hurt you for not making your room spotless.”

“I used to get hurt,” said Dean glaring down at you as you wiped up the little bit that had actually spilled on the floor.

“So did Y/N. You got to let us help you,” said Sam, guilt washing over Dean’s face as he realized he’d snapped.

“I’m as bad as Redge,” said Dean, running a hand over his face before bending down to help clean up, even if you were finished.

“Check?” you asked Dean, his head shaking. “Check?”

“Orange,” he said, glancing at his lap.

“Why are you orange, Dean?” you asked, running a hand over his head, Dean seeming to be most responsive to soft touches like that lately.

“I yelled at you for no reason and what happened with me is no excuse for treating you like that,” he said.

“Okay,” you said, helping Dean sit up again back in his chair. “I want you to try something. Whenever you feel like getting mad, think about if it’s because you’re mad or if because it’s something you used to get in trouble with him for. If you want to get mad because I toss dishes in the sink and forget to put them in the dishwasher, get mad. If you want to get mad because my covers are crooked when I make my bed, maybe you aren’t really mad but you’re tired of being scared so it’s coming out that way instead. So if it’s the later and you’re scared, you just come find me or Sam and give us both a big hug okay?” you said. “We’ll give it right back until you’re not scared anymore.”

“Are you serious?” asked Dean, raising an eyebrow. “I don’t need a…what are you doing.”

“I’m giving you a hug,” you said, bending down and wrapping your arms around him. “You’re scared so it’s hug time.”

“This is a monumentally stupid idea,” said Dean, looking to Sam for help.

“I don’t think so,” said Sam, standing up and walking over to your side of the table. He bent over and gave Dean one too, the older Winchester groaning as he was trapped between the two of you.

“You two are annoying,” said Dean, letting his head lean against yours.

“Check?” you asked, Dean giving you a tiny smile.

“Yellow green,” said Dean, watching neither you or Sam pull away. “I don’t get out of this until I’m green, huh.”

“Now you’re getting it,” you said, kissing the top of his head. After a few minutes of you and Sam straining your backs you heard Dean chuckle that he was green.

“I guess you have a point,” said Dean, Sam ruffling the top of his head as he returned to his seat.

“You gave me lots of hugs when I first started staying with you,” you said to Dean. “Made me feel safe. I get what’s going on in your head, trust me.”

“Some random psychopath kidnapped you and you have no idea why too?” asked Dean, a teasing smile on his face. “I just want to know what he had planned.”

“You want to talk about it?” asked Sam, Dean shaking his head. “You focus on getting back to your old self and let the police figure out the rest. Y/N’ll probably take a crack at it and she’ll figure it out in a few hours I bet.”

“Months of nothing and when I snuck off to get drunk I got lucky Sam,” you said, Dean flinching a little in his seat. “I’m just glad work will get back to normal.”

“How was Redge?” asked Dean, his face looking very much like the old Dean. “Don’t tell me he’s tried anything or I swear…”

“Redge is more indifferent of Y/N than anything at this point,” said Sam. “She may have thought he took you at first. She’s scary when she’s pissed off.”

“I don’t like you near him all day, not after what he did to you,” said Dean. “I thought he was on a different shift than us anyways, only came in because I was sick a while back.”

“They were down an officer and I made sure he knew he was on a short leash,” you said, shoving the last of your dinner in your mouth. “A very short leash.”

“Remember when he was our biggest problem?” asked Dean, running a hand over his torso, his fingers tracing over a spot through his shirt. “Getting shot sucks.”

“Y/N, do you want to clean up and I’ll help Dean with a shower?” asked Sam, Dean’s face a mixture of embarrassment and content. “Oh come on, like I’ve never seen you without pants on.”

“Shower sounds good,” said Dean, parts of him still filthy where he didn’t get a good scrubbing at the hospital. “Then I want to pass out in an adult sized bed again.”

Sam helped Dean up but let him walk on his own, the two of them up in Dean’s bathroom for awhile until you heard the water turn off and Sam shouted for you to come in. Dean was sitting on his bed in a tee and boxers, looking pretty tired but his eyes had a spark back in them.

“How’d we do?” asked Sam, ruffling a towel in Dean’s hair, getting a laugh out of his brother. “We can’t do anything about him being horrendous unfortunately.”

“Oh shut up,” said Dean, pushing Sam away with a smile. It got even bigger when he saw what you were holding, his blanket he’d been using before he was taken.

“Alright, get in,” you said, Dean shifting around so he was under the covers, Sam helping you spread the blanket out over top of him. “Do you need anything…and he fell asleep already.”

“Huh,” said Sam, Dean passed out the second his head hit the pillow. “He wasn’t joking about wanting a real bed again.”

“Should we stay?” you asked, Sam shrugging. “The doc said we shouldn’t coddle him.”

“He was cracking jokes in the shower,” said Sam. “You’re his girlfriend though so I’m sure you can-”

“Sam, we dated for all of four hours before this happened. We’ve never even been on a date,” you said. “You stay. I got to go check out a few things.”

“Y/N, it’s late, where-”

“I want to know what that guy was up to,” you said, walking out. “I’ll be downstairs. I promise I’ll come up in a couple of hours.”

“Y/N, he’s home and safe again. Take the night off,” said Sam, that slightly older brother tone coming out. “You need rest too.”

“You didn’t see him in that basement, Sam, or the mines. I want Dean to know this guy is never coming near him ever again,” you said. “I’ll log on quick and see what the prelim file says. Then I’ll be back, I promise.”

“Fine,” said Sam, taking a seat in a soft chair in the room and kicking his feet up on the bed, shutting his eyes.

“Thanks for everything,” you said, Sam keeping his eyes closed but giving you a smile.

“Family doesn’t have to thank each other,” said Sam, nestling down into his chair. “Don’t work too long.”

“I won’t,” you said, heading downstairs to the office, figuring it’d take you five minutes tops to read over the early report. You were logging in when you heard a car out front and saw the blue and red lights through the window. You growled and stormed to the door before they had a chance to ruin Dean’s sleep. Art and Charlie were giving you careful stares as you squinted at them on the front path. “What do you guys want?”

“Is Dean okay?” asked Art. You looked between them both and then saw another car come up.

“Don’t tell me the guy got loose,” you said, the officers looking at each other before at you. “How hard is it to-”

“Where’s Dean?” asked Art. “Now, Y/N.”

“In bed asleep. Recovering. Don’t you two dare go and wake him up with what’s probably going to be the most restful night’s sleep he’s had in months,” you said, two more officers, one of them Redge coming into view. “Well, let’s have a party in the front yard why don’t we? Not like-”

“Is he alone?” asked Charlie, taking a step forward. You scoffed and he shook his head. “Is he?”

“No, he’s with Sam and-Hey!” you said, watching all four of them rush inside. They only sounded like a freight train going up the stairs like that as you stormed after. “Dean’s fine alright? You can visit in the morning.”

You heard groaning from Dean’s room and wondered how pissed he’d be that Redge was in his house. The sheets were messy and thrown back as you looked around for the source of it but instead saw Sam holding his head in his hands.

“Looks like he got him,” said Charlie, moving with Redge out of the room and down the hall. “Art, new guy, stay with those two.”

“It’s Jimmy. Again,” said the black haired man that was helping Sam sit upright. You flicked on the light and saw the spot of blood on his head.

“Dean, he…ow,” said Sam. You walked over and rubbed on his back, ready to kill whoever it was that let Dean’s creepy stalker take him again.

“House is clear, set up a perimeter in the neighborhood. Art, help outside,” said Charlie as you glanced around.

“How did he even break in?” you asked, only the bathroom window open from the looks of it and there was no way up. “We’re up on the second floor.”

“Y/N,” said Jimmy with a cock of his head. “Dean’s kidnapper is still in custody.”

“Then who-”

“Dean just…” grunted Sam. “He sat up and clocked me way harder than he ever has in his life, grabbed a bag from the closet and sounded like he threw on his shoes and bolted out the window.”

“What…” you said, starting to move for the bathroom but Jimmy catching your arm. “Why would he do that?”

“There’s evidence that Dean wasn’t always in that basement,” said Jimmy.

“What does that mean exactly?” you asked, squinting at him. He sighed and looked away.

“It means that Dean very likely did what he had to in order to survive and at some point, it broke him,” said Jimmy.

“He’s scared and has PTSD, he’s not broken,” you said, shrugging out of his hold.

“The kidnapper had an alias, multiple aliases. Multiple plots of land and a couple other basements, just like that,” said Jimmy. You opened your mouth to argue but Jimmy shook his head. “Dean’s DNA is all over those places, those crime scenes. Three other men, all Dean’s age, some looking like they’ve been there a long time. All three were murdered. By Dean.”

“You’re being insane right now, I mean-”

“Dean kept a journal. We found it in the basement. They had to fight, they had go against each other to live and at a certain point, Dean started hurting them because he liked-”

“Stop. Talking,” you said. Sam looked ready to throw up but this guy didn’t know Dean and he didn’t know you. He was the rookie meant to replace him until Dean got on his feet, a quiet gig where he could probably do the mundane small town crap with his eyes closed. But this guy was a stranger and frankly he was the only cop in town you remotely trusted after everything with Redge. “Officer…”

“James Novak,” he said. “People call me Jimmy.”

“Jimmy, I used to be in an abusive relationship with Redge, you know, a cop? Dean, your ‘murderer’ saved me from it, gave me a home and a friend and a safe place to stay. He would not do those things to those other people. He’d try to save them. Dean is really smart. He would probably make the guy think he likes it to get more freedom and work on getting back at him. When I found him, he wanted to kill the guy. Dean doesn’t-”

“You’re talking in theory. You can’t know-”

“Dean has been alone with Sam and me for the past twelve hours. If he’s so bad, why didn’t he rip us to shreds then?” you asked. “I don’t know what he’s doing but he’s trying to protect us because that’s who he is.”

The officer didn’t say anything but he looked at you and Sam, knowing Dean would have had to give his own brother that hard of a hit in order to have enough time to get away.

“He didn’t do it. Give me a chance to prove it before you write him off too,” you said, Jimmy’s gaze flickering down and back up.

“You have no way to prove his innocence. Even if it was under duress, it still…” he trailed off, moving behind you as he stared at the wall. “Why would Dean have a teddy bear on his dresser?”

You spun around and saw the brown stuff bear on the other side of the room.

“I don’t know, I thought it was supposed to be a present or something,” you said, Jimmy picking it up and practically ripping it in half. “Hey that’s…what the fuck is that?”

“A hidden camera,” said Jimmy, holding up the lens and the wire that was tucked safely behind the dresser and probably into the wall, out of view. “Who put this here?”

“We both just assumed Dean was going to give it to Y/N on a date or something,” said Sam, glancing around.

“Has anyone else been in his house since Dean was taken?” asked Jimmy, glancing around.

“The internet guy, roof repair, the…” you trailed off, looking over at Sam.

“The mold guy,” said Sam, turning to Jimmy. “We were booted out of the house for three days.”

“The house is bugged?” you asked. You sighed and ran a hand through your hair. “It would keep Dean in line, show him we weren’t safe here.”

“It certainly helps but it’s not proof enough that Dean-”

“Then help us get it, Jimmy,” you said. “Please.”

“Running makes him look guilty,” said Jimmy. “But he might have run if he thought you were safer without him.”

“How would we be safer?” you asked, Jimmy shaking his head.

“I don’t know. But something is going on around here and we’re going to get to the bottom of it.”

“Sammy, I miss Dean,” you said, plopping down on the couch after work, throwing your legs over his lap as you stared at the ceiling. “He’s gone from person of interest to don’t be hesitant to use force on him.”

“I want him back too,” said Sam, letting out a sigh. It’d been almost a month since Dean took off and you weren’t all that surprised when his kidnapper was let loose after a failure to gather evidence on him. He played the part of dumb and innocent well, avoiding the alias thing when his lawyer explained that your guy never technically owned the land from those other lots. Sam called bullshit on it but there wasn’t enough there. You’d never technically seen the guy with Dean and your relationship with him left you more liability than help at this point. 

“You think Dean’s hiding from him? What if he got ahold of Dean again, no one would have any idea where to look, let alone we’re the only two people that care at this point,” you said. A knock at the open screen door made you sit upright as Jimmy came in with some takeout.

“Glad to know I’m valued so highly around here,” said Jimmy, taking off his shoes and heading for the kitchen.

“Three people care,” said Sam, hopping up as you sat down for dinner. “Anything at all today Jimmy?”

“Not on the Dean front,” he said, giving you a sad smile.

“I know you’re trying when you really don’t have to. We appreciate it Jimmy,” you said, watching him shrug. 

“I never even met Dean and I like him more than any of the other people we work with. I do have some other not so great news, chief mentioned after you left,” said Jimmy. You waited for him to continue as he pulled out a few boxes, sliding them over to you and Sam. 

“We’re waiting in suspense,” said Sam, Jimmy taking a deep breath.

“Y/N, you’re being…reassigned to patrol 8,” said Jimmy. “Chief is sticking you back-”

“Redge is my partner! Come on. I don’t want to drive around with him all day,” you said, Jimmy sighing. 

“I tried to tell chief that it wasn’t a good idea but everyone looks at you all shady now and Redge is the new golden boy since Dean’s been gone. He thinks Redge will figure out if you’re really up to something with Dean,” said Jimmy.

“Thanks for dinner, Jimmy,” you said, grabbing your box and your car keys, both guys grunting from the kitchen. “I want to be alone right now. I’ll be back in a few hours.”

They continued to grumble but let you be. You drove past the edge of town and parked in a field you used to go to when you wanted to get away from Redge. You sat on the hood of your car and pulled out your burger, taking a big bite and wondering if transferring would make you look guilty too.

You finished fast and were positive the guys were talking about you as much as they were Dean tonight. He’d vanished into thin air and you always wondered if he went back to where his kidnapper was from, if there was some reason he would go looking for something else.

You glanced at your phone and it was only seven. If you drove all night you could make it there by the morning and spend the weekend looking for him. Sam told you not to do that more than once though. Last thing you needed was you going missing too.

“Where are you, Dean?” you said quietly after finishing, laying back and closing your eyes.

About three seconds later something hit you hard in the hand and you whacked at whatever bug just stung you. Glancing down there weren’t any bug guts, just a blue paintball splatter. You spun your head around to the right, nothing but tall grass in that direction. Teenagers ran around out here a lot and you wouldn’t be surprised if you took a stray-

“Ow!” you said, waving your hand as it got hit in the same spot twice. “Knock it off!”

When it happened one more time though and your face was scrunched up in pain, you had to wonder what kid had a shot that accurate. You slid off your hood and walked to the right, the shooting seeming to stop now but you heard a rustling that made you jog after. You couldn’t keep up in the dense terrain but there was an obvious path to follow. By the time you got through, the sun was set and you were using your phone for light. There was a run down farm house in front of you, no lights on inside but the door was open.

“Call it in,” you muttered. It very well could have been the kidnapper but if it was Dean, they’d whisk him off to prison and not think twice. “I better not end up in some lifetime movie.”

You grabbed a sturdy looking branch and made your way inside slowly, trash everywhere but a few paint ball pellets leading a path for you down a hall and to a flight of stairs to a basement.

“Not a horror movie, not a horror movie,” you mumbled, taking as silent a step as possibly onto the first step. Halfway down they started to creak and you knew your cover was blown if you had one in the first place. It was dimly lit and you’d only scanned half the area before your makeshift weapon and phone were snatched away from behind, a shove pushing you forward against a wall. You spun around, ready to knee the person but stopped when you saw Dean staring back with a dark hoodie and jeans on.

“You need to stop trying to find me,” he said, tossing the stick to the side, turning off your phone and throwing it on the ground.

“Looks like I did and that was expensive you know,” you said, Dean’s face showing no amusement. “I know you didn’t-”

“You don’t know what I did,” said Dean. “What I can do when I get pushed far enough. This is your warning to stop looking for me and get on with your life.”

“Dean, I’m not scared of you,” you said. He stepped forward so your back was pressed up against the wall, his arms on either side of you as he leaned down.

“You should be,” he said, his face hard and dark.

“They’re forcing me to take Redge as my partner,” you said, Dean’s face holding strong but his eyes flickered for a few seconds, concern darting all over the place. “You can’t fool me, Winchester. You’re not the bad guy.”

“It doesn’t matter if I’m not, Y/N,” he said, leaning back and moving his hood back to run his hand through his hair. “It’s the part I have to play from now on.”

“Why? Let Sam and me and Jimmy help,” you said, Dean raising an eyebrow. “New cop meant to come in to replace you. He doesn’t believe you did that stuff.”

“The guy is out there. He only wants me so I have to stay away from you and Sam so that he leaves you alone,” said Dean.

“He’s not a cop, he can’t-”

“This guy took me as a kid, Y/N. I was too little, way too little to even remember but he had me for a few days. I always thought it was random but I knew dad left something out of the story. I was a cop’s kid and it wasn’t hard to figure out dad screwed somebody over and they wanted to get back at him,” said Dean.

“Why’d he come back Dean? This seems personal but the stuff with your dad is done with, isn’t it?” you asked, Dean shaking his head.

“I’m not telling you,” said Dean. You crossed your arms and he crossed his. “I’m not telling you.”

“Dean, please, give me something,” you said. “I’m trying to prove you’re innocent and it was a set up but-”

“Y/N, just stop. It’ll never happen. I’ll always be on the run. There’s too many things to this. You have to get on with your life. You’ve spent the past half year looking for me and you got to move on,” he said. “Sam too. Tell him to go back home. Maybe you can go with him, get out of this town, find another nice guy. There’s more than one of us out there.”

“I want you,” you said, stepping forward to try and hug him, Dean stepping away. “We never even went on a date.”

“I guess I don’t really have to break up with you then,” said Dean, kicking it the ground. “We never even had a chance to try.”

“Why did you bring me here, to tell me to go away?” you asked. Dean nodded and shrugged.

“Basically. I wanted you to know I was okay and that-”

“You are not okay,” you said, looking him up and down. “You’re more scared than when I found you in that basement. You’re angry and cold and you think this would all be easier if I turned my back on you and let you live the rest of your life in some kind of on the run Hell or in prison. Guess what? I used to be that way until you told me I could never push you away from helping me. You made me furious because you wouldn’t understand that I was a lost cause. You know what? I wasn’t and neither are you. If you don’t tell me what’s going on right now I swear I’ll find a way to force you to tell the truth.”

“This is different, sweetheart,” said Dean, a sliver of warmth in his voice again. “It’s too late and you’re forgetting I made you a promise that’d I’d keep you safe. You have to do what I tell you and forget about me.”

“Make me,” you said. Dean sighed and cocked his head over to the side, a bottle and a rag on top of a shelf. “What is that?”

“I want you to leave now. Tell Sam the house is his if it’s not already in his name. Sell it and get out of this place,” said Dean.

“No. You’re not letting me help you and I can and…” you said, Dean grabbing the rag and tilting the bottle over it for a second. 

“You’ll wake up in your car in a few hours,” he said, glancing down. “I wish I could-”

Dean was strong enough to pull the rag away after you’d pressed it against his mouth but the fumes left him weak and it made the rest of the job easy until he was slumped over on the floor.

“What the fuck is going on with you, Dean?” you asked, looking at him like he’d passed out on the couch, so much softer when he wasn’t clenching his jaw at you. You grabbed your phone and thankfully it turned on even if it was cracked. Thirty minutes later Sam and Jimmy were there, throwing a blanket over an out cold Dean in the back of Jimmy’s car.

“Now what do we do?” asked Sam.

“I think we’re going to have to interrogate your brother.”

Dean was not all that happy to wake up and find his wrist cuffed to a chair at the small, out of the way house Jimmy was staying in. The three of you were in the kitchen trying to figure out how to keep Dean safe and get him to open up when he started yelling at the top of his lungs.

“Dean, calm down,” you said, flinging open the door to the back room he was in, Sam and Jimmy right behind you. “No one is-”

“Let me out, now,” he said, trying his best to dislocate his thumb to get it off but you’d made the cuffs too tight on purpose, Dean grunting when he saw it was no use. “I swear-”

“Check?” asked Sam, Dean blinking a few times. “Do you remember check, Dean?”

“I’ll check you into the wall if you don’t let me leave right now,” said Dean, fuming at the both of you, his gaze landing on Jimmy. “You must be the new guy, huh? Do me a favor and cut me loose.”

Jimmy stepped inside and grabbed a chair, placing it across from Dean and taking a seat.

“Oh come on, I-” Dean got out before Jimmy slapped a hand over Dean’s mouth and Dean’s free hand shot up to tug on his wrist. To your surprise, it didn’t move and Dean started to dig his fingers into Jimmy’s flesh hard.

“You’re being very stupid Dean,” said Jimmy. “Or would you remember me better if I told you my name was Cas?”

There was a slight pause on Dean’s part as his eyes looked over Jimmy, dropping his hand away the same time Jimmy moved his.

“You do remember me,” said Jimmy, giving Dean short smile.

“I always thought…” said Dean, smiling a little at him, giving you and Sam both a look. “This is...Cas.”

“So your name isn’t Jimmy Novak?” asked Sam, Jimmy, or better yet Cas, giving a shrug as you took a seat nearby.

“My cover name is. I’m a special agent,” said Cas, turning his attention towards Dean. “I met Dean a long time ago.”

“You were the older boy there,” said Dean quietly, still looking incredulously at the black haired man. “How are you not dead?”

“You really have a hard time remembering those couple of days huh? You were only a little squirt then I suppose,” said Cas, looking over at you and Sam. “My dad used to be your dad’s partner. Only difference was I was old enough to remember getting taken. Dean’s a little fuzzy on the details but I’d expect that.”

For some reason Dean got all kinds of relaxed and stopped trying to find a way out of his chair, perfectly content to sit there now. You went and grabbed a bandage for him to come back and saw the cuff was gone now, Dean avoiding your gaze. 

“Can I patch that up?” you asked, the red mark on his wrist bloody in a few spots. He nodded but wouldn’t look, a slight shake to his arm.

“Want to tell these guys what I know Dean? What you remembered when you were taken a few months ago?” asked Cas, Dean holding his hand in his lap when you finished. He was quiet and Cas sighed. “You were more of a fighter as a two year old, come on man.”

“You were an annoying six year old,” said Dean, glancing up at Cas. He found Sam’s gaze before yours, upset with himself some about trying to force you to stay away. “I don’t want Y/N to-”

“This girl has spent so many hours trying to find you, Dean. She gets to know the truth too,” said Cas. Dean looked ready to argue before the fight went out of him and he slumped into his chair.

“There was another boy, older than me. He had a weird name,” said Dean. “Redge.”

“Before you go feeling soft for him, Redge is this nutjob’s son. When he found out Dean of all people was the reason you broke it off with Redge-”

“I broke up with Redge and his psychopath dad does all that to Dean as revenge? Redge plants evidence to incriminate Dean? What are we in, a horror movie?” you asked, throwing up your hands.

“Pretty much,” said Cas with a shrug.

“I need a drink,” you said, heading over for the kitchen, finding a bottle of old bourbon in a cupboard, taking a long sip. 

“I knew she’d think this is her fault, I didn’t want to tell her for this exact reason,” said Dean, following Cas into the kitchen, Sam on his tail and stealing the bottle from you and putting it up high where you couldn’t reach.

“It explains how Dean’s DNA got all over crime scenes he never visited, why he was forced to keep a journal, it explains a lot really,” said Sam, sitting up on the counter, keeping an eye on Dean who looked on the verge of bolting. “Hey, I asked you check and you didn’t say anything.”

“What difference does it make how I’m feeling? I’m used to it by now,” said Dean, rolling his eyes. “None of this makes any difference. I’m still royally screwed and he’s still out there and it sounds like Redge is in on it. I can’t do anything so the reunion was great and everything but leave me alone for all our benefits.”

Dean stood up to head for the door but Cas caught him by the hood and shoved him into a seat at the kitchen table.

“Dude, back off or-”

“I’m working a case and until I have solved it and got my guy, you’re going to do exactly what I tell you, all of you will,” said Cas, letting Dean go, pushing on his shoulder when he went to stand. “I wouldn’t let this slide even if it was as simple as a little revenge case but it’s not and we both know it.”

“It’s not?” the three of you asked, Cas running a hand through his hair.

“Oh my god, did you never once look at the files our dads were working on around that time? Investigating a serial killer? Never?” asked Cas. Dean looked like a deer in the headlights, staring up at Cas towering over him. “You’re lucky he likes you better as a pet than a victim or you’d have been killed a long time ago.”

“Cas, go take a walk,” you said, Sam standing to go with him as he saw you were getting ready to make Cas a victim himself. When they were both outside Dean had dropped the hardness and had that sad look on his face again, the one when you drove him away from that basement and to the hospital. “Dean?”

“Cas is right. I am lucky,” said Dean. “Everybody else he kills but I pissed off his son so lucky me got to stick around.”

“You never told me what he did to you,” you said, walking to stand by his side, taking his hand in yours. “You only ever said you got in trouble.”

“I’ll tell you someday, I promise but right now can we not fight? I really don’t want to fight anymore,” he said, voicing barely cracking at the end. You sat next to him and wrapped him into a hug, Dean welcoming it as you wondered when the last time he had any sort of touch at all in his life. “Why didn’t you give up on me?”

“You don’t give up on people you care about,” you said, running a hand over his head. “I always wanted to repay you but I never thought it’d be like this.”

“I would have done with a pie,” said Dean, a tiny chuckle from him doing wonders for your own nerves. 

“We’ll figure out some place safe for you while Cas investigates. A place like this maybe where you won’t have to run or worry about getting caught by the cops or our guy,” you said.

“That sounds much better than that tent I’ve been staying in,” said Dean. “Anything sounds much better now.”

“You tried to not let me help. Over and over again,” you said, Dean resting his head in the crook of your neck.

“I know. I barely let you take care of me when I had that cold. This was too much to put on you,” said Dean. 

“Me showing up at your door with a duffel bag and begging you to let me crash with you for the night, promising I’d be gone in the morning felt like too much. It always felt like too much when you made me breakfast or brought home surprises for me or complimented me or did a thousand other things. One day I realized I’d never convince you of that. It was so much easier when I let it all go. You’ll let it all go too Dean. You’ll get there,” you said.

He shrugged and took a deep breath. He almost started to relax before he pulled his head up and looked back at the door. You wondered if he wanted Sam when he bolted up and ran for it.

“Dean! What the-” you got out before he stopped and looked at you, rushing back over and taking hold of your hand. 

“Don’t leave my side,” said Dean, pulling you along after him and out the door. He glanced around the small clearing before there was nothing but woods and the small dirt path that would eventually lead to the road.

“What’s-” you said before he threw a hand over your mouth, spinning the two of you around, spotting Jimmy’s car and rushing over. He flung open the door and shoved you in over to the passenger side before he started to rip open the dash with his bare hands.

You watched him wide eyed as he pulled on some wires, face smashed against the steering wheel until he got a spark and the engine came on, tugging you back into the driver’s side.

“Get out of here. Get out of town, just get as far away as you can and hide,” said Dean, panting as he pulled your seatbelt on.

“Dean, I don’t-”

“I remember and Cas...Cas was a nice kid. He took care of me. But I don’t remember him ever leaving with me,” said Dean, shaking his head. “Sometimes I swore I heard another set of boots wandering around in that shed too.”

“Dean, Cas has helped us, stood up for you, he’s-”

“Y/N,” you heard Cas say, both your and Dean’s head’s whipping to the front of the car where he was walking around. “Where are you going? We need to figure out a plan.”

“Stay the hell away from her,” said Dean, standing up and slamming your door shut. You weren’t in the car for more than a few more seconds before the lights flickered and went out.

“I always have problems with that freaking battery,” said Cas, rubbing a hand over his face. You climbed out and Dean stood in front of you, Cas cocking his head. “What’s wrong? What’s happening?”

“I know who you are you son of a-”

“I am trying to help you, Dean. Is he having some kind of meltdown?” asked Cas to you. Dean had been overreactive since the moment you saw him, not thinking clearly and assuming the worst scenario would happen every single time. Cas had been calm and collected apart from his small outburst at Dean.

“Where’s Sam?” you asked. Cas practically growled and you took another step behind Dean.

“I have no issue with Y/N,” said Cas. “Hell, she knows what a dick Redge can be first hand. She can go.”

“Where’s Sam, Cas?” asked Dean. Cas shrugged and held up his hands. 

“Like I said, Y/N can go and I highly advise you do and forget all about this before you get dragged in. My issue is only with the Winchesters,” said Cas.

“Go,” said Dean, pushing you backwards with one hand. “Now.”

You didn’t argue it and went off down the path, Dean glancing over his shoulder to give you the smallest of smiles, a quiet thank you. You went down the road until you were out of view, going a little further before ducking into the woods and carefully making your way back to the house, Cas now holding a gun in his hands as Dean sat on the hood of the car, his hands cuffed behind his back.

You figured you had a couple options. Sneak up on Cas and get his gun to save Dean. Stay hidden and hope Cas brought Dean to wherever Sam was and sneak them both out later. Or call for backup from your completely un-trustable department and hope whoever showed up didn’t make you another victim.

You didn’t have enough time to think of your fourth one before a hand shot out over your mouth and a cold muzzle pressed against the back of your neck.

“Don’t move.”

The hand around you made you backup slowly, going with them even if you knew it was likely to certain death. You walked with them for a while before they spun you around and led you forward, walking on and on until you were well out of shouting distance of Dean.

“Hands behind your back,” he said, your body only doing so when he pressed the gun harder against your skin. You quickly felt a pair of department issue zipties around your wrists, his hand pushing you down to the ground. You expected a bullet but the gun moved away and he walked in front of you, staring you down. “What the hell are you involved in, Y/N?”

“Redge, if you’re going to kill me just do it,” you said, his gun staying by his side a good sign you told yourself. “If you’re not going to do that then what-”

“Saving your ass. Cas plays games. Letting the girl go is one of his favorites. Two months from now when Dean hasn’t broken yet, he’ll pull you out of whatever hole your in and kill you in front of him, then threaten the same with Sam if he doesn’t get with the program. I don’t know where Cas put him. You’ll thank me when you’re still alive,” said Redge, fiddling around in his backpack, grabbing you by the arm and walking again. 

“Redge what the fuck are you-” you got out before he slapped a hand over your mouth, a piece of duct tape over it.

“Shut up until I can explain,” he said, dragging you along until you came to the edge of the road, Redge shoving you in the backseat of his car and driving away, back towards town. You kicked his seat and he growled, getting louder when you didn’t stop. Eventually he pulled into his garage of your old home, shutting the door and taking you out, pushing you down on the couch as he made sure all the blinds were shut. When he ripped the duct tape off fast you nearly bit his hand off but his hands in tight fists made you think twice.

“Explain before I kick your ass for kidnapping a cop,” you said, Redge’s eyes rolling hard. He sat down on the ottoman and leered at you, cocking his head. “What?”

“If you had just stayed with me, none of his would have happened. Sam and Dean would be fine. You’d be fine. It would be okay, you know that?” he asked.

“You used to hurt me and that wasn’t okay, Redge,” you spat out. “Stop talking out of your ass and pretend for two seconds you’re not a piece of crap and maybe I’ll not ruin your life for stopping me from saving my guys.”

“You can’t save them. It’s too late. Grab your stuff and go,” said Redge. “Cas’ll give up trying to catch you pretty fast. He knows you won’t say anything.”

“Why wouldn’t I? He’s only…oh, I don’t know a complete and total liar,” you said, your shoulders starting to ache. “Would you cut me loose? You’re not exactly screaming trustworthy right now.”

“You’re the one being investigated by internal affairs, Y/N. For all I know, you’re another one of dad’s star students,” said Redge. You cocked your head and Redge took a deep breath. “Six months of your record is missing when you were twenty. Why?”

“I was in school which you’d know if you ever listened to me. I did study abroad but you wouldn’t know anything about that considering you tuned out everything I said unless it was yes sir,” you said, Redge looking you over. “What do you mean students?”

“I’m a saint compared to dad. He really just…gets the urge to kill people and does it I guess. I never saw it but I mean, he slipped it into asking about how school was and all that,” said Redge. 

“You never told anyone anything? Never another adult or-”

“One day, when I was five, I came home and there were these two boys in the basement. Dad told me to play with them, take care of them, keep them under control. He said I’d get a big reward if I did. It wasn’t hard with the little boy, Dean, but the older one was bigger than me and he shoved me around so I shoved back. I thought we were playing like at recess or something. That’s all I did was play with them. After a couple days, the little boy went away but that other one…he didn’t. I got a new brother I was told,” said Redge.

“Cas,” you said, Redge nodding his head. “Oh, why didn’t you say something Redge?”

“Because I’m not a good guy. You know that,” said Redge, looking you up and down, all too aware that you were still restrained. “The more Cas gave in, the more I liked it until a couple months later and we were in a new town and Jimmy was my older brother at school. The longer he stayed with us, the more he got to be like dad until eventually Jimmy was the one going into the family business. Sometimes I wish dad hadn’t kept him. It sounds bad but Jimmy, Cas I guess…he’s ruthless and cunning. Dad was always happy with the quick and dirty but Jimmy likes the slow burn,” said Redge, his face dropping as he thought of something.

“Redge, work with me. It doesn’t sound like you guys are on the best terms,” you said, Redge laughing at you and crossing his arms. 

“He’s worse than me, worse than dad, but that don’t make me the golden boy,” said Redge. “Cas has his toys to play with. I only ever wanted you back and here you are. You can be safe here from him, safe from dad too. I’ll be better this time.”

“Are you asking me to stay or telling me I am,” you said, Redge’s gaze on the floor in front of him. His hesitancy made you braver and you tapped his leg with your foot. “Redge.”

He stood up and went to the kitchen, grabbing a knife as you swallowed hard. He put on a hand on your arm and spun you around, cutting through the zip tie and picking up the pieces, tossing them in the trash on the way back to the kitchen. He pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge and handed it to you, taking a seat back down.

“You were my first long term girlfriend. The first time I ever lived with someone else. That control was something I lived with for years, it’s what I thought love was and how to get respect and all that. As much as I want you back, I know I’m not good. Dean’s always been the guy for you and I took you because he was too shy at first, even if I knew he wanted you. You’re not mine but you got to stay away from Cas. He’s going to call my dad and they’re going to go to town on him, Y/N,” said Redge. “Sam too. You just got to move on.”

“I’m being investigated because of my relationship with Dean, right? They think I potentially knew he committed those crimes or set all this up?” you asked, Redge nodding his head. “Go with me to the station and vouch for me. Tell them all that. Tell them the truth and help me save them. Sam is a civilian, Dean is another cop and you’ve got some penance to serve, Redge,” you said.

“It’s my family. My literal psycho murdering family,” he said. “I go against them-”

“Your family is hurting my family. Family has your back and all that but yours is built on fear and pain, not love. That’s not a real family. Your family would hurt you for trying to stop them. Dean and Sam, I’m sure I’ll get an earful from them but I’ll get a crap ton of hugs too. Give me a shot, please,” you said, Redge sighing heavily.

“Y/N, odds are we’ll never find them,” said Redge, a tiny smile on your face. “But we could try.”

Two Months Later

Redge hadn’t checked in with the station in a few days and the looks you were starting to get made you nervous. Sam had vanished but Cas…Cas showed up for work the next day a few months back like nothing more had gone on that night than having an easy dinner and watching some TV. Redge stayed quiet when he saw Cas back, never saying a word to anyone about all he’d told you. You didn’t know who or what to believe anymore. The investigation on you was proving nothing you figured but you knew they believed you were the one who took Sam and was involved with all the rest.

“Hey,” said Cas, knocking on your desk as you looked into the old files on Redge’s dad. “You’re riding with me today.���

“Shocking,” you said, grabbing your winter coat, hoping wherever the boys were they weren’t freezing to death. You’d kept your distance from Cas since that night, occasionally trying to track him but Cas always one step ahead of you, no thanks to help from Redge you guessed.

“Coffee run?” Cas asked when you climbed in the passenger side of his cruiser, shaking your head. “This doesn’t have to be as bad as you make it out to be. I’ll buy.”

“A cup of coffee? Well I guess we can be besties forever now, huh,” you said, Cas pulling out of the lot for your four hour patrol around town. 

“I let you go. Someone in my line of work doesn’t really do that,” said Cas, looking over at you. “You’re a good cop. Once the investigation clears up, maybe you’ll think about moving on to a bigger town, work some bigger cases than the run of the mill crap we do all day.”

“Do you have a point at all? Otherwise you can shut it for the rest of today,” you said, crossing your arms, wishing you’d get a call to give you something else to think about.

“Playing nice with me makes life easier for them,” said Cas. “Perk up. You’re prettier when you smile.”

“Whatever you say boss.”

Three Days Later

You were at a motel room in a random town that only took cash. You used a rented car to take to “borrow” another one, promising yourself you’d return it to the owner before they got back from their vacation. You left your phone behind and your computer, no credit cards, anything Cas could use to figure out where you were. When it was almost two thirty in the morning, you slipped out of your room and walked down a few blocks, hood up as you scanned the alleys for the one you were looking for.

Right on the dot, you saw a man leaning against the brick wall of one, his head curling towards yours when he must have noticed your gazing. He gave a tiny nod you returned and he waved you down. 

“You’re less intimidating than I expected,” said the playful voice, standing up straight, his height rivaling Sam’s almost.

“Nick,” you said, pulling your hood down, the man doing the same. He was a bit older than Cas, around ten years maybe but even in the dim alley, you could see the familiarity. “I know where your baby brother is.”

“See, you kept saying that on the phone but Cas is dead. I haven’t seen him since he went to go play in the yard. It’s been over thirty years, kid. If you found his body, that’s great but I made my peace with what happened a long-”

“Look,” you said, shoving a hand into your pocket and pulling out the picture of Cas in uniform, Nick’s face going blank. “He’s alive.”

“He’s okay. Little guy became a cop,” said Nick, not exactly a smile on his face but as close as you were going to get for a harsh guy like him. “Why didn’t he…what…why did you find me, have us meet like this?”

“You’re a criminal and I’m so far in this thing I’ll work with bad guys to stop even worse ones,” you said. Nick handed the picture back before you shook your head that he could have it.

“You’re a cop,” he said. “Internal affairs, some law and order crap like that?” 

“Your brother took two people very important to me. I will explain everything I can to you but I’ll be upfront about this. You’re not getting the happy ending with your brother you want. It’s not going to happen,” you said, Nick looking over your head. 

“Inside,” he said, pushing open a back door to the bar you were outside of. “You look like you need a drink.”

Nick quietly sipped on his beer as you told him everything you knew. When you’d finished, you didn’t get any denial or shock or any of the other reactions you were expecting. Just a small chuckle that made you wonder if you’d only added one more crazy person in all this.

“To think I was the bad son,” said Nick. “Dad and his stupid pride, wouldn’t do something bad to save his own kid.”

“I read through the old files of Chuck’s, the ones in the storage shed in Toledo,” you said, Nick’s head popping up. “I’ve broken a few laws trying to get my boys back, I’m not a saint either. But your dad tried to get Cas back. It was one or the other and Dean was younger so-”

“So Cas got the shaft. Wow, way to go dad,” said Nick, standing and grabbing a bottle of some hard liquor, pouring it straight into his empty glass, enough to knock out a horse if he finished it all.

“He tried after that and that’s why he got killed. This guy Chuck and John Winchester were investigating is bad news. Ruthless and he made Cas just like him,” you said, Nick seeming unfazed.

“This is my problem how?” he asked, taking a long drag, scrunching his face up at the burn of it. “You’re the cop, that’s your job to fix crap like this.”

“You were supposed to watch him and you let your kid brother go play outside by himself when you were told to not let him out of your sight. How’s that for your problem?” you spat back, Nick’s face going cold, downright scary. 

“You sure you aren’t the bad one? You sure know how to rip open old wounds,” he said, taking another swallow.

“This was a waste of time,” you said, standing up, heading for the back door until Nick’s hand caught your arm. 

“You said this guy Redge, that you breaking up with him is what started all of this, right?” asked Nick. You felt his hand get loose and you moved it away, looking down at Nick in the booth. 

“It got Dean involved and it made Redge’s dad go after him again and it brought all of this up so yeah, it’s pretty much all my fault,” you said.

“If I’d watched Cas like I was supposed to, Cas wouldn’t have gone that route and maybe that Redge guy would have turned out different and maybe a lot of things would be different so if it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine,” he said.

“You don’t know that,” you said.

“You don’t know that you and Redge had anything to do with Dean. They all knew each other before you came along. This could have been in the making long before you showed up,” said Nick.

“If you say you’re going to help, are you going to turn around the next day and pretend that didn’t happen? I’m running out of people to turn to, Nick,” you said.

“I think I should have a talk with my brother. On one condition,” he said, your head dropping.

“I can’t promise any clearing of your record or any of that. I’m on the outs. I can’t even promise you’ll live through this,” you said.

“One condition,” said Nick, standing up. “We’re going to need backup and I know the guys for the job.”

“Nick, this-”

“Kid, I wasn’t asking. You want to find Dean and Sam? Trust me.”

On Monday morning the chief called you into his office to tell you Cas was your new partner, Redge back at work as you figured he didn’t turn up anything concrete, not that he was ever really investigating you. You were stopped at the diner for lunch with Cas a few days later, silently eating together when Cas kicked you under the table.

“What?” you asked, mouth full of salad, Cas giving you a hard glare. “Don’t tell me the place is getting robbed,” you said, spinning in your seat to see nothing going on.

“What is that?” he asked, pointing outside at a man outside playing on his phone.

“A guy on his phone?” you asked, not sure what was going on with him. Cas studied your face and relaxed. “What?”

“Nothing. You’re not arguing with me as much lately. I was suspicious,” said Cas.

“Well you said it yourself. I’m free and alive. I need to start looking out for myself,” you said, Cas raising an eyebrow. “I’m smart enough to admit defeat. I need to move on, get out of this town and forget this all ever happened right? Let you have your…extra curricular activities.”

“You’re giving up just like that,” said Cas. You shrugged, playing around with your fork. 

“I never even went on a date with the guy. I’m loyal but I’m not a dumbass,” you said. “Maybe I’ll go somewhere warmer, where it doesn’t snow in the winter.”

“Oh you’re cruel. You ever want a date, give me a call,” said Cas with a wink. 

“I do have a slight favor to ask,” you said, Cas’ smile falling away. “A letter of recommendation would help with a transfer considering everything I went through. I’m not sure they’ll take me with that on my record if I don’t have someone to-”

“Yeah, that’s not a problem,” said Cas, easing up again. “I’ll make you sound good and all that.”

“Thanks,” you said, Cas going back to his sandwich until you were climbing in the cruiser, back on your patrol for the second half of your shift.

“You’re really giving up on them. They’ve been so adamant that you’d stay away and do what asked. I guess you’re finally getting with the program huh?” asked Cas.

“I have one other favor to ask,” you said, turning to Cas. “You and your family stay away from me, they don’t come after me. I don’t want to look over my shoulder the rest of my life.”

“Yeah, that’s not a problem,” said Cas. “You’ve kept your mouth shut and been good. You’ll keep it shut too. No one will bother you.”

“Alright then,” you said, holding out a hand, Cas shaking it with an amused look on his face. “I’ll start looking for new positions tonight.”

It was nearly three in the morning when you got a call on your burner phone from Nick.

“Did Gabe get it?” you asked.

“Oh, he got more than that alright,” said Nick. “Somebody wants to say hi.”

“Hey Y/N,” a tired Sam said on the other end. “You working with a bunch of convicts now?”

“Well I sit next to a serial killer at work. Thievery isn’t so bad compared to that,” you said, hearing a tiny laugh from Sam. He sounded in good spirits but you could only imagine how wrecked he was. “Are you okay?”

“Oh it’s like Christmas morning,” he said with a chuckle. “It’s not Christmas is it?”

“Not for a few more weeks,” you said, sitting up with a big smile on your face. “We got to go pick out a tree.”

“Yeah, we’ll get right on that,” said Sam. “You got Dean back yet?”

“No, we agreed getting at least one of you out was worth the risk,” you said, standing and heading over to your closet to get dressed.

“I haven’t seen him since I saw you last. I don’t know where-”

“It’s okay Sammy. Nick’s brothers are going to stay with you and make sure you get to a hospital and get better,” you said, pulling out some clothes and tossing them on fast. 

“I’m honestly okay. Cas never did anything so I assumed Dean’s been playing along. What are you going to do?” asked Sam. 

“I’m going to Cas’ house. He’s going to want a new way of keeping Dean in line,” you said.

“Y/N, you can’t-”

“Nick, you know where to meet me. Let’s go have a chat with your little brother.”

“Nick, you ready?” you asked, stepping out of the car parked around the bend, just out of view from Cas’ house. Nick looked down the dirt path, giving you a nod. “Want to give me a heads up of what you’re planning on saying?”

“I’ll let you know when I figure that out myself,” he said, taking a step forward. “You sure you want to come with me?”

“You need the backup,” you said, pulling out your gun. Nick just nodded and went around to the front door as you went to the back. He knocked like he was dropping off a pizza and you took a deep breath. You heard the front door open and slipped in the back, quietly coming through the hall as you saw Cas take a step back and another. Nick landed a punch square to his face and had him restrained fast as you had to fight the urge to rip his head off. “What happened to talking?”

“He kind of deserves it, don’t you think?” asked Nick as you rolled your eyes. Cas grunted as Nick rolled him up, shutting the door as you saw just how off guard he was. “Cas.”

“Nick?” asked Cas, looking his older brother up and down. “Wh-What...”

“What is wrong with you shortie?” asked Nick, Cas’ face softening at the nickname. “What is going on in that head of yours?”

“Whatever she told you, it’s a lie, it’s all-”

“Cut the crap,” said Nick, Cas dropping his head down to the floor. “You got taller.”

“So did you,” said Cas quietly, turning his attention to you, the softness falling away. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done? What you just put on my family?”

“Sorry but your dad and Redge aren’t exactly-”

“Not those psychos. Nick and Gabe and Michael. Do you know what you just dragged them into? What I’ve been keeping them safe from for years?” asked Cas, his eyes shooting daggers but flickering with fear for the first time too. “They’re going to go after them finally. After everything I put up with, it’s gone because of you.”

Nick scrunched up his face and raised an eyebrow, probably thinking Cas was nuts.

“Cas,” you said, holding your gun in your hands. “We found Sam. He didn’t exactly sound like someone who’s had a rough go of it lately.”

“Sam played the part he needed to. Dean’s been doing his part too I suppose. I may have exaggerated things a bit,” said Cas, glancing down.

“Exaggerated how?” you asked, your eyes going wide when you saw the chief come in through the front door.

“Stand down officer Y/L/N,” said the chief, your gaze going to Nick who looked like he would try to take him on if you asked. “Stand down.”

“Crowley, I don’t exactly trust-”

“Cas you’re authorized to disclose your case,” said Crowley, Cas breathing a sigh of relief.

“Not like she was only about two seconds away from shooting me, asshole,” said Cas, giving Crowley a hard look before softening his gaze towards you and Nick. “I’m very deep undercover. Very, very, very deep undercover.”

“It all makes perfect sense now!” you said, squinting at him, Crowley rolling his eyes. ���You want to explain, get going.”

“The easy version? I got taken as a kid and raised by a not so nice guy and Redge. I figured out how to play along, gain their trust. By the time I was old enough, got more freedom, it was just Nick and my brothers left and there was always this unspoken threat in the air that I couldn’t go back to them. I stayed away and became a cop, try to figure out a way to bring him down and Redge. I was approached at the academy about undercover work. They knew who I really was and who my fake dad was and that I could go under and gather evidence against a guy they’d been tracking for twenty years but couldn’t prove a damn thing about,” said Cas. “I couldn’t hop on board that train fast enough.”

“Wait so you never…” you asked, Cas shaking his head. 

“Redge did. I was always going to be his fall guy if it ever came to it so I was told to keep my mouth shut. I’ve made it harder over the years but when you got with Redge and then you two stopped, those two wanted to rip Dean apart. I convinced them to go a different route, screw with you both in a less violent way. It worked and they started to get sloppy for the first time. They actually believed that I’d finally come around to their way of thinking. The evidence we have now though is huge and more than enough to put them both away,” said Cas.

“Awesome, then what’s with the continued charade?” asked Nick, cocking his head.

“We don’t know where Dean is,” said Crowley. You looked at Cas who shook his head.

“Redge called my dad after he found you in the woods,” said Cas, Nick giving him a glare. “Fake dad. Cut me a little slack, I’ve been dealing with this stuff since I was six.”

“Keep going,” you said, throwing Nick a glance to cool it.

“Fake dad showed up and took Dean, not too long after I had a chance to explain myself to him. I don’t know if Dean every truly believed me but I told him I’d keep you and Sam safe until I could get him too,” said Cas. “We just need to find him.”

“Would Redge know?” you asked, looking at the chief who was shaking his head. “I’ll go be bait if I have to. We’re getting Dean back if it’s the last thing I ever do.”

“The guy’s been around the Montana area, sticking to a fifty mile area. Dean’s likely somewhere in there,” said Crowley. “It’s too big of a search area though.”

“When Redge took those few days off earlier in the week, where’d he go?” you asked.

“Montana,” said Crowley. “You think he went to go pay Dean a visit?”

“Check his phone records and we’ll find out.”

The property you were searching was huge and the local police department was even smaller than your own, just four of you out there trying to search 100 acres while you knew your guy was the next town over.

“Y/L/N, sun’s going down and snow’s heading in. We need to call it a night,” said another officer over the radio.

“I’ve got a flashlight and gloves. I’m good,” you said, flicking your light on and continuing your search. 

“One more hour, then we need to head in,” said the officer. You clicked off your radio and continued your search, finding a big farmhouse that was a nice break from the cold wind on your face, your cheeks and nose hurting from the icy air. You kicked around the straw on the floor, finding only solid dirt beneath it, taking a short breather behind a bale of hay. It was warmer there and you took a deep breath, glancing around to see a pipe sweating nearby. You hopped up, nothing at all seeming to require heat in the open barn unless of course there was someone living under it. You started kicking the straw again, spending most of your hour picking through every inch of the space. 

You yelled when you found nothing, kicking at a bale of hay. You huffed and figure you’d start looking around outside when you spun back around.

“Wait,” you said to yourself, looking around the whole barn, noticing there was only the one bale in the whole place. You bent down and shoved with your shoulder, digging into the ground to get it to budge a little before it slid away. The small cellar door made you smile as you flung it open and hopped down, shooting at a locked door and opening it to find a tiny room warm.

The man on the cot rolled over and wiped at his eyes, yawning as he did so. He blinked the green orbs awake, sitting up fast when he saw you.

“We got to stop meeting like this,” you said, Dean leaning back against the wall in relief. “You’re not going to go all Rambo on me again, are you?”

“You look really cute with a pink nose,” said Dean, waving you over. You bent down to try and cut through his tether again but this one was made of steel cable and you didn’t exactly bring bolt cutters with you. “Try my foot.”

“I’m not cutting your foot off,” you said, Dean rolling his eyes. He put his foot up on the cot and pulled up his pant leg to show the metal cuff on it.

“I meant try picking the lock,” said Dean. “Unless you found the keys.”

“Yeah, right outside the door, didn’t you know?” you joked, the sound of the cellar door slamming shut making your smile fall.

“Tell me that was the wind,” said Dean. You took off back the way you came, going through the door and up the few steps before you pushed on the door. It didn’t budge much and you knew it wasn’t that heavy. You pushed again and again, dropping down and hoping when Dean was free he might have better luck. 

“I think it’s just stuck,” you said.

“I don’t think we’re that lucky,” said Dean. “Do you have anything to eat in your bag?”

“Yeah,” you said, slipping it off and digging through to find a few protein bars, Dean barely getting the wrapper off before devouring one. “Hungry?”

“Starving,” he said, halfway through another before he forced himself to stop. “We should save these.”

“It was just the wind Dean. A big storm is coming through,” you said, riffling around in your bag for something to try and get him loose. You took off your hat and shoved it on his head, throwing your scarf on him too. 

“How cold out is it exactly? This is Kansas not-”

“We’re not in Kansas anymore,” you said, Dean giving you a bitch face. “Well we’re not, Todo.”

“Awesome,” said Dean as you ran a hand over your head, finding a bobby pin in there. You pulled it out and twisted it, shoving it in the lock and a few moments later, watching it release Dean’s leg. 

He sighed when it fell off and he removed the rag he’d shoved there to cushion it, stretching it out as you twisted your bobby pin back in place.

“Let’s work on that door,” said Dean. He stood up with your help but he seemed healthy for the most part and definitely happier than when you’d rescued him the first time. You both had to shove hard but the door flung open eventually, a big gust of wind blowing through the open space that had Dean ducking back down. You gave him your bag with some boots and gloves, Dean throwing his hood up but still cold in his thin hoodie and a pair of jeans.

“Let’s get you home Dean.”

“Alright,” you said, throwing a blanket over Sam on the couch the next day, Dean already bundled up in his own as they both gave you shy smiles. “You’re both fed, Dean got cleared by the hospital, you’re in your warmest pajamas and tucked in. What else do you guys need?”

“You to sit down and take a break, sweetheart,” said Dean, patting the spot between him and Sam. You gladly sat, feeling them share their blankets with you as a holiday movie played quietly on TV in the background.

“Longest year ever,” you said, both of them laughing a little. The doorbell rang and you hopped up, knowing the department wanted to give you all a proper apology but that it could wait for the morning.

“Hi,” said Cas when you opened it, holding a box under his arm, looking down. “Can I come in?”

“Can you look at me?” you asked, Cas slow to lift his head. “You ever hear of a little thing the Winchesters have called ‘Check’?”

He shook his head and you smiled.

“You will,” you said, opening the door for him, his face red from the cold. “Guys, you mind if you have a quick visitor?”

“Cas, our guardian angel,” joked Dean, Cas looking away nervously. 

“Dude, relax. You’ve risked a lot to keep us safe,” said Sam. “We’re good with you.”

“Y/N is in need of an apology,” said Dean, not too happy with the way he spoke to you, even if it was to keep up appearances with Redge. “Later though. What’d you bring us?”

“It’s from my brothers and me,” said Cas, putting the box down between them. “For helping bring us together again.”

Sam and Dean shrugged and opened the box up, both of them reaching inside and holding up a leather jacket.

“I guess your dad gave it to our’s once and it got tucked away in storage. It has sentimental value Nick said. John gave it to him as a way of saying our families always have each other’s backs or something like that,” said Cas, rubbing the back of his head. 

“You guys want to hang out this weekend?” asked Dean, Sam giving Cas a smile. “Our dad’s were best friends. I think it’s about time the kids were too.”

“Is that okay, Y/N?” asked Cas, the boys looking back over the couch at you. “You’re the one that’s seen everyone go all…”

“I think a big family dinner would be nice,” you said.

A few days later you were sitting on the couch with Dean slouching into your side, talking to Nick and Michael about which Zeppelin album was better, Sam and Gabe and Cas trying to figure out who had the worst pick up line. You didn’t realize you’d fallen asleep until Dean was carrying you upstairs, the guys telling you goodnight as they threw on their coats.

“Didn’t mean to ruin the party,” you said, Dean pausing outside your room before going down to his and putting you on the mattress there.

“It’s your turn to get some overdue rest, Y/N,” said Dean, shutting the door and kicking off his pants, climbing into bed beside you. 

“You don’t have to go to bed if you don’t want,” you said, Dean chuckling to himself. 

“We’ll see the guys tomorrow. It’s getting late anyways,” said Dean, pulling you in close. “You’re so warm. I’ve wanted to do this forever.”

“Me too,” you said. “You know Nick and Gabe and Michael…they’ve got records,” you said. 

“Used to have records. They’ve been expunged thanks to helping catch two serial killers. With Cas back and a family of cops around, I’m pretty sure they’ll get on the straight and narrow soon,” said Dean. “Wouldn’t want to have to arrest our new friends.”

“How are you feeling? After everything I mean. You’ve spent only a handful of nights in this bed over the past ten months,” you said. Dean hummed and you rolled on your side to face him, running a hand through his hair. “You’re not so bad this time.”

“I kind of distracted myself through most of it,” said Dean. “I don’t think anyone’s ever had as much time as me to come up with the perfect first date.”

“I’d rather just stay home with you on the couch and never let you out of my sight if that’s okay with you,” you said, giving him a tired smile.

“You came up Netflix and a pizza too?” he teased, shifting his head closer.

“Check?” you asked, Dean closing his eyes as he tilted his head and gave you a short kiss.

“Green sweetheart,” said Dean, fluttering his eyes open when he moved back. “How about you?”

“I think I’m okay again too,” you said, snuggling into his chest. “This is the weirdest relationship I’ve ever been in.”

“Considering your last boyfriend was a serial killer, I’m not sure how to take that,” he said, chuckle as you gave him a pout. “I really do have to ask though…why’d you never stop trying to save me?”

“You’re my best friend. Maybe we haven’t gotten into the couple stuff yet but you’re my best friend and I love you and you owe me at least two back massages for everything I’ve done,” you said, Dean giving you a big laugh you felt in your chest before he was kissing you again.

“That can be arranged,” he said, closing his eyes. “Thank you for everything sweetheart.”

“Goodnight Dean.”

"Morning,” you said, turning to curl into Dean, your eyes blinking open when you saw him gone. You hopped out of bed and found him staring at the back door in the kitchen, the sun just coming up. “You okay?” you asked, reaching up to ruffle his hair.

“Yeah,” he said, reaching for your hand to hold in his. “Sorry if I woke you up.”

“You’re good,” you said, bumping into his arm. “We can go outside if you want.”

“It’s cold out,” he said.

“You have winter clothes,” you said, Dean nodding to himself like he’d forgotten that. “Do you have anything you want to do today?”

Dean shrugged, just looking outside at the snow covered yard. You bumped him again and he looked down, catching your smile.

“When Sam gets up we’ll head into town and grab breakfast. I got a surprise for you,” you said, Dean tilting his head. “It’s a good surprise.”

It was nearly dinner time by the time you three got back, Dean giving Baby a pat and smile at getting to driver her again. 

“I can’t believe you convinced us to go sledding,” said Sam, sipping on his leftover hot chocolate. “In Kansas too. How’d you find that place?”

“A super secret place called google,” you said, Sam grabbing a snowball from the front yard and tossing it at you as he went inside to warm up. Dean was smiling as he stood by Baby, his cheeks red from spending most of the day outside. “You have fun today?”

“Yeah,” said Dean, wrapping you up in his arms and holding on tight. “I needed that.”

“I know. Want to go watch a Christmas movie and warm up?” you asked.

“Die Hard?” he asked. You rolled your eyes but shook your head. “What do you want to do for dinner?”

“Speak of the devil,” you said, spotting Cas pull up in his car, his brothers popping out with a few bags. “The boys brought barbecue.”

“Ribs, brisket, pulled pork, chicken, corn bread, mashed potatoes and a whole bunch of other artery clogging goodies...everything a recovering boy needs,” said Gabe, patting Dean on the back as they got the food inside before the cold got to it.

“We’ll have a quiet day tomorrow if you want. You just looked like you needed some fun today,” you said.

“I did. I still do but with you watching my back I’m going to turn out just fine,” he said, leaning down to give you a kiss. “You know I always had the biggest crush on you, from the second we met actually.”

“I thought you were cute in your little uniform and jeans. I wished you’d been my partner from the start,” you said.

“I’m your partner now,” he said, giving you another fast kiss. “In more than one area of your life.”

“You’re much cuddlier than I remember,” you said. “Not that I’m complaining.”

“Well see this cute girl told me if I got scared I should get a hug and she’d make me feel better. She’s pretty smart,” said Dean, still holding on tight.

“You remember that?” you asked, Dean humming. “Do you want to go get some warm food in you?”

“Yeah,” said Dean, not moving an inch. He waited a few more seconds, looking up as the sun was setting and fresh snow was coming down. “Alright, let’s go have family dinner.”

“I think we should do it once a week, get everyone together,” you said, Dean smiling wide. “You like the sound of that?”

“Having a big family of full of misfit cops and lawyers and thieves sounds perfect, sweetheart.”

_______

[dorothy-rainbird]

Part 4

Also before we start i'd like to warn you that things get suggestive but no honking donking takes place. I physically cannot write the hooga booga.

Idk how to write suggestive stuff so if you die of cringe then it's not my fault cuz I warned ya.

You may now continue.

Here we see…a sight that’s too weird to explain bruh. Bu is desperately nudging Kunikuzushi’s head as he proceeds to sulk on a table depressed. Lisa had seen her gloomy assistant this morning and tried to ask what the matter was. She gave up after a few hours though.

Coming back to Bu who had the expression and squeaks of “I swear it wasn’t my intention, even I didn’t see it coming!”

“I know Bu, I don’t blame you….” Bu gave a confused squeak as Kuni propped his head up.

“I’m just confused. How dense can a human be?!?” The slime was immediately silenced as he found himself unable to reply. Kuni takes his que to rant.

“They see me as a little brother. A LITTLE BROTHER! I TRIED EVERYTHING VENTI TAUGHT AND I GOT BROTHER ZONED! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT SUCKS TO BE BROTHER ZONED?? I MADE A CHEEZY FLIRT AND THEY JUST PAT MY HEAD WITH A GIGGLE.”

“Sweetie I understand your crush won’t notice you but keep it down. We’re in the library.” Lisa poked her head from the bookshelves and went back to her work.

“Sorry…” he groaned and massaged his temples. Bu trying his best to be supportive rubbed his arm.

“Ugh my break’s over now, let’s go Bu.” Deciding to ignore his pain with work, Kuni got up from his seat and began to pick up the books from the table to arrange in their respective shelves. Bu trying his best to assist him hopped off his seat and pointed out the shelves. (The little guy was even carrying small books on his head)

___________

The shift was finally over.

“Goodnight Kuni! Goodnight Bu! I hope to see you two tomorrow~” Lisa waved him bye at the footsteps of the Favonius building.

“Goodnight Lisa!”

“Squee squeak!”

It was dark right now. They stars and constellations shone like glitter in the sky and the moon looked like a massive pearl. It was a perfect sight for stargazing but Kuni just wanted to go home. He was a little tired, and so was his slime partner. Maybe he'll take you stargazing later?

“So Bu, what should we have for dinner?”

……

He was peacefully asleep on top of his head.

____________________

“I'm home!" you called out as you took your shoes off and dropped your weapon next to the shoe rack like a zombie. Your day could have gone smoothly if it wasn't for reckless Pallard being stupid. Your exhaustion was however was quickly forgotten as Bu bounced his way to greet you excitedly. You opened your arms and as he jumped into them, you were filled with euphoria.

“Squeak squee!”

“I know baby I missed you too!” You exclaimed as you rubbed your cheek against his “head”.

“I see someone is back very early!” Came your roommates voice from the kitchen full of sarcasm.

“Hey Kuni!” You made you way into the kitchen with Bu in your arms to greet your boyfriend. He was setting the table with dinner and honestly you couldn’t ask for more. Right now you just want to eat and go to sleep.

“Welcome back, I trust your day went we- WHAT HAPPENED??” Oh boy he saw your messy state huh…well you usually look gorgeous reader but right now you looked like a hilichurl who dove into mud. All thanks to Pallard. Everybody say Fuck you pallard.

“Hi :D”

________________

“You seriously need to be more careful you know! Do you know how dangerous a gang of hilichurls can be??” Kuni’s voice was muffed but clear behind the bathroom door. After seeing your state he immediately pushed you into the bath, heck he was even ready to bathe you in case you couldn’t but after insisting you’re fine he let you be alone in your bathtub. Dang reader you scored a very worried wife.

“Once you are done then let me help you patch up okay? I really don’t want you pushing yourself since you just came back in such a disheveled sta-“

“Alright alright no need to be so worried!” his sentence was cut short as you stepped out of the bathroom all clean. From the steam you emerged, in just a towel around your body. It hugged your torso and revealed your shape way more than it should. Your scars, birthmarks, fresh injuries you got today were all in front of him to see.

Kuni.exe has stopped working. Seriously he froze. You looked so divine to him he found it hard to look away. No, he found it very hard to control himself. He felt blood hush into his cheeks and his "empty" chest thumping wildly.

“Ayo you good?”

And he snapped out of his dazed state.

“Y-yeah um, you uh-“ and now he’s broken. Have mercy on him reader.

“Uh huh, yeah injuries. *cough* Could you please get out first? I need to put some clothes on.”

“RIGHT!” And with that he tried to rush out of the room. Key word: tried. He bumped into the door frame along the way. In case if you’re wondering, Bu came looking for you with a medkit on his head but got confused when he saw his dad rush out of your room and slamming the door. Now Kuni is the one who looked like a mess as he slid down against the door. He covered his mouth and processed what he just saw.

“Y/n...why are you doing this to me…” he panted through heavy breaths. Your body flashed in his mind and he couldn't help but shamefully imagine what you looked without the towel covering you.

He really can’t hold on any longer.

_____________

What was that all about? You just stared at the door, not knowing a puppet is waiting behind it. Anyways better dry yourself. As for the injuries, you noticed there really was nothing major except for small cuts and bruises. Opening your wardrobe, you decided to throw on your (pajamas of choice) and dried your hair.

Why do you hear heavy breathing outside your door? Better check it out.

"Kuni, I'm done!"

...

"Kuni?"

.........

You were met with silence. Looking around the dark hall, you could see Bu sleeping next to the plant on the window. You walked up to him quietly and asked in the softest way possible,

"Bu, have you seen your daddy?"

Bu gave a sleepy mewl and pointed towards the living room with his flower head.

"Thanks kiddo" you gave him a head pat and watched him drift off again.

Did Kuni fall asleep on the couch?

The living room seemed normal at first. It was dimly lit but enough for you to navigate around. Moonlight poured out the window giving the room a mix of honey and sapphire. It looked comforting but then came the feeling of being watched. Something was there. It was watching your every move. You just couldn't tell what it was. It made you nervous but with all you bravery you opened your mouth.

"Kuni, are yo- AH!"

_____________________

He pinned them against the wall. It kinda started them. Still, they opened their eyes to see him. From the window beside them, the moonlight fell on his flustered face. His mouth was in a pout and his glossy eyes showed symptoms of frustration. His pale skin had flushed cheeks.

"Kuni? What are you doin-"

"Just stop playing so dumb!"

"???"

His face was mad. And his voice was on the verge of cracking. He was on the verge of blowing up.

"I'm trying so hard! Yet here you are being so oblivious and naive to all my advances...how can a human be so dense?!?"

Is he talking about...

Now the dots were slowly being connected. He never does anything to make him a stammering fool but this week he's been strage. Those compliments, the flowers, Bu cannot pick them so tenderly! He has no hands. Could it be that...

"Y/n. Look me in the eyes and tell me, am I ever going to be more than a brother to you?"

Oh. So it is exactly that. Heh.

“Ara ara~" you smirked as you gently held his chin, your other arm snaking around his waist. He turned red from the contact, his arms getting weak.

"Are you trying to kabedon me Kuni-chan?" You lifted his face to meet his eyes. He was a mess.

"How cute~"

"I- answer me!"

"shh.." You shushed him with your finger. Now he felt like he would melt any second.

You leaned closer to his face, close enough to feel each other's breath. In the most seductive tone, you whispered,

"Actions speak louder than words. I want my answer to be louder and clearer for you."

He let out a gasp as he felt himself being pushed onto the couch. He closed his eyes and landed on the soft cushions, but when he opened them, you were there. You were hovering on top of him, caging him between your arms. In the dim lamp of the room, your honey lit eyes held one thing. Passion. For him.

You gently stroked his face, Staring into his violet eyes. He found it hard to look away.

“Oh Doll…” you exhaled. Kuni swallowed the lump in his throat. You leaned closer towards him as he closed his eyes in anticipation.

Only to feel suffocated. Literally. He can't breathe. All his air supply was cut off. He struggled but it was akin to punching air.

WHAT'S GOING ON-

______________

Kuni woke up with a loud gasp as Bu fell beside him on the table.

He took his time to cherish the sweet oxygen and then take in his surroundings. Large bookshelves surrounded him and the bright sun leaked through the window behind him.

Wait...was he asleep in the library? Was it all a dream....?

He looked around to see Bu upside down and dizzy. He quickly grabbed him and put him upright.

"Bu, did you fall asleep on my face again?"

"squee"

"...."

So that explains the suffocation. Wait- that dream!

His face got flushed with embarrassment remembering the events. Still, he wondered what would have happened if he wasn't suffocated by his slime child.

"Don't do it again, okay? You almost suffocated me in my sleep."

"Squeak!"

And so those two stretched and continued their library work as if nothing happened.

@kl33star @gimenaverde @astrilien @crazypriestess @endlessmari @cloudxemoji @50shadesofhowaboutno @alexiris @angryhope @hana-chie @twst-123 @depressed-bitchy-demon @milza12 @inlovewithwaffles @shizunxie @koi-chairowo @someone-with-wild-imagination @melodibells @franini @xiaosimper @kithewanderingme @tinykokomi @rinaxst @shizunxie @thetwinkims @mouchie @einnunnie @myahandhurts @arima26 @we-wo-we-wo @themistcherry @miss-tea-cza @etherisy @bigcandlesmolbrain @n8mareee @peachytears11 @esthelily @imyme20 @teal-clouds-sword @general-kuri @apyrose @campanula-rotundifolia @shoujishu @thebeanofdoom @mentallyunpresent @scaramouches-girlfriend @alicehasdrowned @genderfluid-insomniac @claymitch @night-shadowblood-writes2 @justakiro @valeriele3 @peter-the-pan @erosdevil @blockswon @missb00bs @a-single-pizza @that-boi-sus @gullantys @ekrii @astr4ray @angelkazusstuff @multifandomvoyage @hikaru-exe @forgotten-blues @perpetually-simping @coquettemaiden @kisuneasahi @kunisbeloved @nebulaera @autumnthedeer5

[acesbelovedwife]

And they were roommates

5,4k characters

Portgas D Ace x fem reader fluff

Masterlist

You were making dinner, your roommate Ace was in a shower after work so you wanted to help him out by at least making him food. You couldn't find one seasoning anywhere so you figured out it would be on top of a shelf, you weren't tall enough to reach it but you also didn't want to bother Ace, he's tired. You decided to take the ladder, you climbed up and started searching for the seasoning, when you finally found it you started getting off the ladder but you missed a step and the next thing you knew you were lying on the floor screaming in pain. Ace hearing a loud thud and screams ran out of the bathroom panicked only to find you laying on the ground gripping your arm in pain. "Y/n what happened?!" He yelled running up to you in worry.

The next thing you knew you were walking out of the hospital wearing a cast on your arm "You could've just ask me to get it for you, I was so worried something worse happened. Don't scare me like that y/n" he spoke still upset about the situation "I'm sorry... I just wanted you to relax after work, you must be exhausted having to take me to the hospital after a long day of work, I'm sorry Ace" you mumbled looking away trying not to cry from all the pain and guilt. "Hey, hey it's alright. Please don't cry, I'm ok, yes I'm tired but I'm happy nothing worse happened to you it's alright now, let's just go home and order some food ok?" Ace said worried, he hated seeing you cry, it broke his heart. You nodded as you took your healthy hand to hold his arm,he didn't expect you to do that but he smiled knowing it just means you feel safe around him.

As you two arrived to your apartment Ace helped you take off your coat and shoes seeing you struggle "I'm sorry" you whispered "like I told you, it's ok y/n, no need to feel bad" he smiled putting your shoes away. "You want pizza?" Ace asked "Sure, you can order me anything, I'm starving" "gotcha" Ace replied calling the pizza place. You decided to just watch the tv until the pizza comes to kill the time. "Pizza should come in 20 minutes!" Ace yelled from another room "okay!" you yelled back, thankful you live so close to the pizzeria. When the pizza came Ace joined you in the living room to watch a movie. When you both finished eating you thought for a second, just how are you gonna shower, you're not supposed to get the cast wet and it just happened that your dominant hand is in it. "You ok y/n?" Ace asked, worried since your face got pale "um, Ace?" You asked "what's up?" He replied curiously tilting his head to the side "w-would it be ok if you could perhaps... help me shower?" You stuttered from embarrassment, that was surely the last thing he expected you to ask him. He sat there quiet for a second not knowing what to say, but then he went back to reality understanding you can't do it alone with the cast on "A-are you sure y/n?" He asked cursing himself for stuttering "If it's ok with you, I trust you Ace I know you wouldn't do anything to me without my consent" you smiled at him, he nodded happy you trust him that much. As you both went to the bathroom the reality hit you. He's gonna be naked too. You're gonna see your roommate, Ace, naked. It's not like you didn't see him without his pants considering the fact that you two live with each other, but this time it was different, you're gonna shower together. Like lovers do.

"Don't worry, I'll look away, you can take off your clothes off I won't look" he said turning away, you took off your shirt and pants with not much struggle. But when you couldn't unclip your bra with your hand you panicked "u-um Ace?" "Yeah?" He finished taking off his clothes off already but was still facing you away not wanting to break his promise "c-could you help me unclip my bra? I can't do it with only one hand..." You wanted to burry yourself, this couldn't get more embarrassing than it already was "o-oh yeah, sure" he turned around seeing you with nothing but bra, if you weren't facing him with your back he could swear he would pass out, your features already made him horny enough. As he was unclipping your bra he brushed his fingers against your back making you shiver. "Thank you" you stood up walking up to the showerhead turning the water on as Ace took away both his and your clothes out of the bathroom. When you found the right temperature of the water you tried to get your hair wet but almost got your cast wet so you just decided to wait for Ace. He got back and tried to look everywhere else but at your chest failing miserably, he was blushing trying to help you as much as he could "Ace, calm down. Your hands are shaking, even if you touch me somewhere by accident it's ok" you reassured him "o-ok" he proceeded to wash your back accidentally touching your boob from the side feeling himself getting hard "shit.." he whispered "what's wrong?" you asked "n-nothing, just got some soap in my eye while I was rubbing it" he lied "I see, could you help me with the hair too?" "Sure". You hummed softly as he massaged your scalp "close your eyes" Ace said, you closed your eyes as he washed the shampoo off your hair. "Can I turn around?" You asked "sure?" Ace answered confused, why would you? You turned around putting your hand on his cheek gently brushing your thumb on his beautiful freckles as he closed his eyes "please don't hate me for that" you whispered, before he could ask what did you mean by that you pressed your lips against his, shocked from your action Ace ghasped allowing you to push your tongue inside his mouth as he kissed back taking control of the kiss making you moan. When you felt like you were out of breath you pulled away gasping for air pressing your forehead against his. "You have no idea what you're doing to me y/n" Ace sighed giving you a gentle kiss on your lips making you smile. He helped you dry yourself and put on a shirt "Can I sleep with you tonight?" you asked Ace "you don't need to ask that y'know, you can join me whenever you want y/n" he said smiling.

"you gonna take care of that?" You pointed at his boxers catching him off guard "y-you knew?!" He shouted blushing hard "it's hard not to, especially when you were naked in the shower" you answered calmly hugging him "I can help you y'know" you smirked looking up at him "n-no, we just showered and your arm is broken. I'll just wait for it to go away" he looked away blushing from your boldness "you're no fun" you pouted as you dragged him to his bed. You threw yourself on it opening your arms showing him to join you. He laid his head on your chest purring in joy as you played with his hair slowly falling asleep.

Sorry for any mistakes, english is my second language. I hope you enjoyed reading ♡

[fueledbysano]

𝟎𝟏𝟐 | Don't Let Me Go

summary: while in the middle of a deeply personal mission in her hometown, [ Y / N ] recalls the night of her runaway. Mikey unknowingly initiates a big deal in their relationship. Takemichi encourages Moein to meet the two.

content/warnings: this story contains major Tokyo Revengers manga spoilers, canon divergence setting, tenjiku arc setting, comfort, fluff, angst, detailed writing of violence, weapons, blood, death, and strong language.

wc: 3k

a/n: so i just discovered a manga called nine peaks and it has the same idea to the plot of this story!

series masterlist | previous | next

“What did I do?” [ Y / N ] spoke, establishing an annoyed tone.

“Oh, nothing. I just wanted to chat.” Izana answered.

“What could we possibly chat about?” She pointed out.

“She doesn’t remember, doesn’t she?” Izana turned to his right-man.

“I don’t think so.” Kakucho answered.

“[ Y / N ] [ L / N ]. 17, born in Yokohama, left at a fire station and tossed around four foster homes. Went by the names; [ Y / N ] Mikami, [ Y / N ] Kaji, [ Y / N ] Ando, and then back to [ Y / N ] [ L / N ].” Izana paced in circles, unraveling the girl's past right before her and his men.

[ Y / N ] was flabbergasted, to say at least. Having heard those words from a man that she's only heard of, and only met today. “Who told you that?” She flatly spoke.

“I can also go on with your real parents, but I only have your father’s file here.” Izana replied, holding up a brown envelope similar to the one in her car.

“Where did you get that?” She folded, failing to conceal the confusion in her voice.

“Here’s your dinner, [ Y / N ].” The same stale bread and bland soup was served in front of [ Y / N ], just like a thousand times before. Being thirteen years old in an orphanage was quite a rare case, considering that kids are typically adopted before hitting adolescence.

[ Y / N ] has, though. Not once, but three times; by different families. However, she still felt foreign in any home she stayed in, not as different from the orphanage, urging her to transfer with every return.

This was something that no teenager dreamt of. Today, she decided to break the cycle and live on her own, if no one would take her in.

[ Y / N ] had no choice but to take the food for one last time, knowing that it will be a long night ahead of her.

She shortly followed her roommates when she finished eating, blending in to the wave of kids as they prepared for bedtime.

“Why aren't you in your pajamas yet?" The girl on top of her bunk bed asks.

“These are my sleeping clothes.” She simply answered, slowly lifting the blankets and tuckig herself in.

Underneath it was also a duffel bag, containing her clothes, a crowbar and wire cutter which she’d earlier stole from the storage unit. After all, those are the basics of hijacking a car according to her mechanics book.

The rest of rhe kids are starting to return to the room, which indicates bedtime. [ Y / N ] immediately knew that she was now in the hardest phase of her escape plan.

In the future where she may decide to learn about her real family, she would need her personal file that’s being kept in the office. She’d tried asking for it before, but was always denied or ignored. So she took the matter in her own hands.

“Good night, kids.” The headmistress spoke before shutting the lights off.

Reaching to her pockets, [ Y / N ] proudly smiled at herself when she quietly took the keys of the admin office.

She'd snatched it from the lady just minutes ago, as she was having dinner. [ Y / N ] had never pickpocketed her whole life, and she was surprised that she pulled it off just fine.

A couple of minutes had already passed. [ Y / N ] was growing impatient but some kids may still be awake. She tossed and turned under the sheets, recalling the plan in her head over and over as time passed.

Gray cabinet. Low drawer.

“Hello?” When [ Y / N ] was sure that the her roommates were asleep, she quietly snuck to the door and into the hallway.

Normally, an eerie-looking dark hallway would scare her. But she was too focused to the office ahead and she was determined that she can pull this off.

Upon unlocking the office, she headed straight to the file cabinet which contained her file, based on her observations. “Yes!” Upon seeing her name, she retrieved it from the drawer, not bothering to close it back or lock the door on the way out.

Some kids were already asleep when [ Y / N ] took her duffel bag in one go. She jumped through the window, and over the fence, heading to the driveway where the social worker’s sedan was parked.

She jammed the crowbar onto the window and jimmied the lock, moving it in left-to-right motions, just like her book stated.

Under the steering wheel were the bundle of wires she pulled on, not seeing the wire she was supposed to pull, due to the dim lights.

“I’m so screwed.” She chanted, almost out of breath as she attempted to look for the wires that connected to the engine. Reaching for her bag, she scanned through the pages and looked for the information, using it as some sort of manual.

“There you go.” She snipped the orange wire, ready to hotwire it, just like in the shows. However, she started to realize that this will be her first time driving. Luckily, it’s an automatic vehicle. She’s read about it and watched shows, but never really put it to practice.

“Is that [ Y / N ]?” Her nerves chilled when she heard her name from a distance, realizing that the lights to her dorm room were open, and one kid was looking through the window.

“Oh no.” She slammed the wires faster as the engine sputtered, giving one last spark before it finally started.

“No turning back.” She reminded herself before putting a seatbelt on and then shifting to drive.

She didn’t anticipate the sudden movement when she stepped on the gas and went, bumping into another car on the way. The SUV alarmed the street, which brought [ Y / N ] to a sense of urgency.

Luckily, the orphanage was in a suburban area which didn’t have lots of turns, giving her the chance to just simply… drive. Upon reaching a fairly far distance, the rush had already started to die down, and [ Y / N ] felt like she’d just escaped a prison. She chuckled to herself, taking in that she actually pulled it off.

The chuckling turned into a whole laugh, until she was fully cackling and driving at high speed.

It’s only a matter of time before someone realizes that a kid is driving, so she has to find a stopover soon.

However, at this time, most places were already closed and dark. [ Y / N ] could already see the city lights and the highway with bustling cars. She didn’t have the courage to drive on it yet, but she had nowhere to go at this point.

Pulling over at a convenience store, [ Y / N ] took her bag and untangled the ignition wires which brought the car to a stop.

Reaching for her pockets, She realized that her money wasn't enough to buy even a bottle of water. Leaning against the hood and out of breath, [ Y / N ] took a big sigh and calmed her nerves. Running away was her grand plan and she pulled it off. She was actually on her own now.

[ Y / N ] didn’t hear the store bell chiming and the quick footsteps receding until a guard showed up and yelled, “Damn brats! Give it back here!”

She looked up to see two kids in the distance, running off with their clothes stuffed.

“Hey, you with those two?” She flinched when the guard walked up to her.

“No sir, I just got here.” She stood up straight.

“What kind of scam are you pulling, huh? Where are your parents? I’ll get you picked up right no—” Although she wasn’t guilty of stealing from the store, the thought of being sent back to the orphanage frightened [ Y / N ]. So with a big swing, she hit her bag at the guard and followed the direction where the two kids were running off to.

“Hey, wait up!” She tried to call, but they only ran faster. She noticed that one kid had white hair, while the other had black before they disappeared after turning right.

When she followed, [ Y / N ] was met by an abandoned nursing home. The front was blocked with metal scraps and caution signs, which she ignored and decided to jump and climb through.

In the distance was a stairway leading underground, where footsteps were heard and she followed.

Upon reaching the floor, [ Y / N ] yelped when she saw the two boys standing in the middle of the room with stolen chips, drinks, and noodle cups from the store.

“Okay, I think we lost them both.” The black haired kid spoke.

“You think?” The tan-skinned kid says upon seeing [ Y / N ] on the stairs, who was in silence.

“So, what’s your story?’ He asked.

“Where are your parents?” The other one spoke.

“Don’t have ‘em.” [ Y / N ] simply answered, holding onto the railings as she headed soon and observed the place.

“I think you should stay here, be a part of our gang.” She grew confused once the older kid spoke.

“She— what? This has not been discussed.” the other one said.

“It is now. We could use a girl to look innocent and as a distraction.” He explained, while [ Y / N ] listened to their conversation. Soon enough, she realized what he may be talking about.

“I… want to be an F1 driver. Not a thief.” She spoke out.

“You don’t have many options. It’s just us.” The white-haired kid pointed out.

“I’m Kakucho, this is Izana.” The other one introduced themselves.

He was right. She was a fugitive now. Maybe staying with other stray kids is her safest option for now. However, nothing beyond the escape was in her anticipation. She was anxious about living out in a sketchy place with basically nothing.

To say that she was speechless is an understatement. All the feelings from her body seemed to have drained up along with the rush, leaving her staring into the ground; no home, no friends, her life is basically to be rebuilt.

“Is she crying?” Kakucho asks as they observe the girl.

“She’s got no parents. We both remember what that’s like.” Izana says.

“Where can I leave my coat?” [ Y / N ] finally spoke, still not breaking her gaze.

“You can keep your clothes over there.” Izana gestured to an empty cabinet.

“I have to take my other stuff from the car.” [ Y / N ] spoke, remembering about her file.

“Be careful,okay? Dinner will be ready when you’re back!” Kakucho says, taking the food in his arms.

“Took you so long?” Izana asks, pouring a bag of potato chips over the hot noodles.

“He thought you chickened out and bailed.” He laughed, gesturing at Kakucho.

“No, I got us more food.” [ Y / N ] chuckled, ,showing them a take-out bag.

“Stir fry?! Amazing!” Kakucho exclaimed upon recognizing the logo on the bag.

“How did you get this?” Izana asks as she sets the food down. [ Y / N ] remained silent, placing her file on the makeshift table.

“I have my ways.” She put it simply— pickpocketed a middle-class man and bought take out with the money. Izana knew right away what she meant. Maybe, the two of them were meant to meet her and have her join their little team. And she seemed tough, too. With a smile, he slung an arm over her shoulder, “Welcome to our kingdom!” He chuckled before proceeding to feast on their dinner.

After a while, it was the middle of the night when [ Y / N ] decided to shower in the only bathroom that still worked. “I apologize if the water in there was slow.” Izana spoke upon seeing her return to the makeshift common room.

“No worries. I’ve been to worse ones.” [ Y / N ] admitted, watching him pick up a run-down guitar while Kakucho started to make himself comfortable on the futon.

“I play this acoustic guitar before we sleep because it helps Kaku, I hope you don’t mind. And, I’m still learning.” Izana explained.

“Of course. This is your home, after all.” She nodded, letting the boy strum off-key chords and strings.

“Our home now.” Izana corrected, flashing her a kind smile.

Three A.M. and both boys were fast asleep, while [ Y / N ] still laid awake. Izana and Kakucho seemed to be nice kids who were put into this circumstance with only having each other as family. However, Living in an abandoned nursing home with two other orphans wasn’t something she anticipated at all.

While they were kind, and seemed to be safe in the place, [ Y / N ] is still in Yokohama— the exact city she was running away from.

While staying with Izana and Kakucho may seem the safest option, she wasn’t sure of how things would turn out in the long run. Although risky, living on her own is in her best interests.

And that night, [ Y / N ] quietly walked past the sleeping Izana and Kakucho, navigating herself through the candle-lit room as she gathered her stuff to leave.

Reaching to her pockets, she left the spare change on their makeshift dinner table, making sure to take the envelope that contained her file.

But what she didn’t notice is one important document slipping out of it, left out in the dark as [ Y / N ] quietly left, careful not to wake the sleeping boys.

“You seem… different.” Was the only words she could say upon looking back at the memory. The day she ran away was simply to put it, full of emotions. Some experiences that didn’t turn out the way we expected tend to be concealed with different memories— something vague and not so memorable.

Hence, not remembering their meeting until Izana and Kakucho mentioned it.

“Right. The fuck happened to me?” Izana chuckled. [ Y / N ] silently agreed. The young Izana she met at the abandoned nursing home seemed to be far from who he turned out to be.

“I guess you’re really pushing to your F1 racer dream, huh?” He mentioned.

“Look, I’m sorry I left. I just can't stand staying here any longer.” She explained.

“I know. I think it’s the perfect time to return this to you.” Izana spoke, holding out a brown envelope. “You left it behind.”

“What do you want?” She spat.

“Like I said, I just wanted to return what’s yours. Don’t you want to meet your father?” He asks, displaying the document in front of her.

So that’s where it ended up, [ Y / N ] had always assumed that it had been left somewhere, thrown away, or simply stolen. She also figured that as long as she still had her mother’s information, it wouldn’t be difficult to know her father.

Yet, she knows nothing about the circumstances she was born into. Simply obtaining her father’s file would save her from all the confrontations that may arise.

But knowing the men who ran gangs and being friends with some, she knew that this information wouldn’t just be given back to her for free.. They surely want something from her in return. Not to mention the fact that Tenjiku and Toman are not on good terms at the moment.

“Is that all? Can I go now?” She answered, making up a decision to refuse the offer.

With a sigh, Izana nodded and stuffed his hands in his pockets, “What a pity,” He says, stepping in front of [ Y / N ], practically towering her figure. “Everything could’ve turned out so differently if you stayed.” He pointed out.

“See her outside boys.” Izana demanded, which Rindou and Ran immediately obeyed. The Haitanis escorted [ Y / N ] out of the hideout and back into her car, remaining silent as they could feel the tension practically surrounding [ Y / N ]’s aura.

It was until [ Y / N ] reached for the car door when Ran spoke up, “He takes ‘no’ for an answer. Just take it.” He says while Rindou handed her the envelope she just declined.

The midday skies take on a pink-amethyst hue. The darkness brought a crown of moonlight, smiling upward at the morning heavens and dimming up the busy city. Mikey opened the garage door upon hearing the blaring engine of [ Y / N ]’s car. He trotted to the driver’s side, his locks weaving before opening it to reveal a flustered [ Y / N ].

“Hey…” He asks, eyes searching hers to try and get her to talk. “Come here.” He immediately ushered her out of the car and back to the working shed, carrying the parts she bought from her run.

“What took you so long?” Mikey asks, as if he hadn’t already figured out her whereabouts.

“I feel really stupid, but uh… I couldn’t find the parts I’m looking for.” She explained and headed to Mikey’s motor parts, sparing a soft smile to him. She knew her lie would eventually backfire, knowing well that Mikey is not a stupid person.

Of course, she plans to tell everything one day when things are settled. But, now’s just not exactly divine timing.

“You gotta go all the way to Yokohama? Really?” He finally muttered. Mikey mentally scolded himself from the sudden word spill, unsure of how [ Y / N ] will react to his speculations. Now [ Y / N ] was truly confused. She froze on the spot and her mind was cornered. There was no point in denying.

“Hey, were you following me?” She turns to him with a scoff.

“I don’t need to. Why are you always sneaking off there? Huh?” Mikey questioned, crossing his arms and giving her a confrontational look.

“No, can we circle back to the fact that you are stalking me?!” She asks once more, realizing that the trips to her hometown were not as low-key as she thought.

With a sigh, Mikey put away the wrench and stepped closer to the girl. “[ Y / N ], You’re in the enemy’s territory.” He pointed out, as if she hadn’t already known. [ Y / N ], of course, kept it in mind during her last visits. She just didn’t think that she was relevant enough to be targeted by the Tenjiku executives. Hell, she wasn’t even a member of Toman in the first place.

Yet, she was taken into their hideout into a serious talk, but mentioned nothing about the ongoing fight at all. Something about the whole interaction was just… off.

Maybe, they do see her as an important figure to Toman now, especially to their president.

“And you’re my girlfriend, I’m allowed to worry about you!” She looked up and over just in time to see Mikey’s expression. His words rang through her like a bell, a particular word reverberating through her mind.

There was no denying that the feelings were present. Although nothing was formally agreed upon, it just registered to Mikey that he just called her his girlfriend for the very first time.

“I am?” She asks abruptly, her eyes as wide as the boy who just confessed.

“Uh…” The fluster in Mikey’s voice was enough to make [ Y / N ] realize how awkward the situation has shifted to.

“Well…” [ Y / N ]’s body immediately tensed as his response finally reached her. Maybe he wasn’t sure either? Was it something he said out of a “spur of the moment”?

Before either of them could speak, their heads turned to the garage door where insistent knocking could be heard from the other side.

“Hey, it’s evening. Don’t knock so barbarically.” [ Y / N ] scolded as they both made their way towards the heavy doors, lifting it at the same time.

“I’m sorry, is this a bad time?” Takemichi asks as the two appear.

“Yeah.” [ Y / N ] and Mikey answered in unison.

“Mikey-kun, Mucho is Toman’s traitor! He took Koko with Tenjiku.” Takemichi immediately blurted. Mikey listened to the urgency in his voice, and noticed his and Inui’s bruised faces, indicating that they were attacked and brought into this moment.

In a distance, just behind Inui, Mikey sees an unfamiliar girl who stood by Inui’s motorcycle.

“Get everyone. We’ll have a meeting.” He demanded.

“Yes.” The two nodded.

“Mikey-kun, can we talk?” Inupi chimed.

“Wait at the shrine. I’ll get my uniform real quick.” Mikey replied and searched for his motorcycle keys while Inui headed off to his own ride.

“Hey, uh, I just washed the one you left here last time… it’s in my dresser.” [ Y / N ] pointed at the door to her room. “Oh, thanks.” He scurried past her and into the room to get changed.

[ Y / N ] remained in place as the door shut, recalling the exact flow of their conversation.

Girlfriend. Dating exclusively? A relationship? Had she been a girlfriend to him all this time?

While deep into thought, Takemichi gestured Morin to come closer while he approached a static [ Y / N ]. “Uh, [ Y / N ]-chan, I have—”

“Mikey just called me his ‘girlfriend’!” She suddenly blurted, yet keeping a toned down voice, keeping in mind that the boy was just in the next room. “I mean, we’ve never really talked about it! It feels like we are, but, like I said, we never really made anything official so I don’t think much— but— Do we seem like boyfriend-girlfriend to you guys?” She rambled, toying with the zipper of her racer jacket.

In the distance, Morin now observed in confusion. [ Y / N ] seemed to be tense, looking as if she was scolding the blonde. “Man, what are you doing?” She whispered to herself.

Takemichi was puzzled, to say the least, thinking that [ Y / N ] and Mikey had been long boyfriend-girlfriend to each other. “Well…” The words were just at the tip of his tongue before [ Y / N ] rambled again.

“How did you handle it with Hina? Did you ask her with flowers and all that cheesy shit? Did you talk or something? Or it just happened?” She asked. He scratched his head, “Not really flowers, but—”

“Oh, I’m sorry, what were you saying earlier? You have what?” [ Y / N ] suddenly remembered and felt rude, shaking her head.

“Let’s wait for Mikey-kun.” Takemichi sighed. “Right.” She nodded in response. “Holy shit Mucho took Koko with them?!” [ Y / N ] exclaimed.

“Pretty much. He set me up too. If it wasn’t for Koko… Me and Inupi will be in bad shape right now.” He explained. “Holy shit.” [ Y / N ] shook her head.

Shortly, their heads both turn to the door once Mikey is finished, “Okay, let’s go.” He gestured. Takemichi followed shortly while [ Y / N ] stayed close to the Toman president.

“Come here.” Morin was too dazed to hear Takemichi’s cue; looking at [ Y / N ] smoothen the wrinkles on Mikey’s shirt while he looked down at her with pure adoration, as if they weren’t just throwing words at each other earlier. A single glance at them would leave no questions if they were in fact— smitten for each other.

She felt a sudden sense of nostalgia; remembering how [ Y / N ] would tell her stories about how much she loved Mikey. It’s unbelievable how she could see it with her own eyes, even without them speaking a single word.

“Uh, guys?” Takemichi spoke, all their heads turning to him.

“Yeah?” Mikey and [ Y / N ] ask in unison.

“Meet Morin.” He gestured towards the dirty-blonde-haired girl.

“...Hi.” She paused for a moment, before remembering to politely bow.

“She’s uh… my cousin.” Takemichi instilled, insisting to carry on with the “cousin” lie.

“What’s up…” [ Y / N ] nodded politely.

Upon seeing the unknown girl up close, Mikey was jumbled, to say the least, as if his brain was being fogged from a picture. “Did you have Dojo classes with my grandpa?” He questioned.

“No, I don’t think so.” Morin shook her head, finding the response rather odd.

“Huh. You looked like one of the kids there.” He casually spoke, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he headed to his motorcycle. He thought that she looks almost like Emma, but also doesn't. He could not pin it, but he could also see a bit of someone else in her features.

“Huh…” Morin simply nodded.

“I’ll see you later.” Mikey turned to [ Y / N ]. She returned a small wave and a smile, watching the two boys get on the motorcycle and coming out of sight.

[ Y / N ] stayed silent for a moment until the notable engine sounds were gone too. “So…” She slowly turned her head to Morin.

It’s rather odd, considering she’s never told anyone when she was just thinking of it the other day. She’s never met a person who had the name in mind, yet, one actually came up today.

“What did he say your name was again?” [ Y / N ] questioned, ensuring if she heard it right and clear.

tag list [ open ]: @haimyvu @rizakari @httpsplanetmarsdotcom @mitsurisupremacy @moontofu @psmslove @slutaholic69 @im-like-yeah-hes-fine @keomi-kimo @springtimewolf1995 @bebesanzu @imshittingforyelena @dailyakira @idunnomynamesince2005 @juanaisdead @emilymikado @haruu-i @keisaint @misinfe @fxshigurosbae @xxserenitysnow666xx @emyrl @xngelsau @melody005 @daichisbabymama @4leafcloverwithawhitecraneforyou @r-xochitl @sleezy-axeriix @pandabooster @amerillyss @tellynojelly @kenkenmaaa @astrodiamond @ikilledsparky2 @soushswag @eriskaitto @secretanimesimp

dm me if you changed urls or i misspelled

[1starqi]

Looking At You

genre: fluff with a bit of academic pressure in the beginning

pairing: bassist!soobin x student!m/c (referred to as "you" because I want to insert myself)

wc: 1.3k

note: idk if soobin took singing lessons but it's my story i do what i want it's my story!

(Chapter List)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

▸ Now Playing: Dear Sputnik

Your head is in your hands and your back hurts from hunching over your desk all Sunday. You can feel your tailbone getting sore from the white-framed, yellow office chair you've been planted on since lunch. Your first essay of the year is due tomorrow, and you’re stuck at the conclusion. Your coffee-fueled focus is slipping as you dart around the screen. It's an empty conclusion. 

In high school, your dad’s mantra was to start off the best so you can end the best, it was something else about momentum too. But you’re not feeling the best nor do you feel that this is your best work. You can’t keep your legs still and you feel the constant urge to crack your knuckles. You’re grinding the gummy interior of your cheek in your molars when you hear the door open.

“Hey, do you—?” Soobin opens your bedroom door and rests on the doorframe. He notices your stressed demeanor and a look of concern flashes across his face and his voice softens, “Are you okay? You look tired.” You look tired isn’t even an insult from him.

“Yeah, this essay’s just beating my ass.” You tell him, honestly. “I need a break, but I’m scared to take one.” You groan. The tag on your off-shoulder lounge shirt is itchy on your back when you lean back against your chair. The AC is way too cold and it blows on your exposed shoulder.

“Do you want a break? I’ve been dying to play with you for a while.” He offers. “No, actually. I’m going to make you take a break, come play.” He nods, confirming his own statement for you. If for his own satisfaction or for yours, you don’t care because he’s right, you need a break. Fresh eyes do sounder work, that was your mom’s motto. It’s still all about achievement, though.

“Yeah. That’d be nice.” You tell him, wearied. Music has always been a break from the pressure of academics through your years of education. Even though you're tired, you feel like music can engage a different, fresh part of your brain. As you stand up you can’t help but stretch.

You grab your cherry-red electric guitar off of its wooden stand and follow Soobin into his room across the hall from yours. Whether it's giving him his laundry or watering his thriving monstera, you've been in his space a few times since he moved in, but you didn't really look around like you did this time. You see his bed to your right and thrown on it are his black striped duvet and blue pillowcases. His desk area is a mess of papers and books spread across his official desk and two identical black bookshelves, one horizontal and one vertical. It looks like he was also in the middle of an assignment. His amps are to the left of his working area, and he pulls up a chair from the corner next to the amps for you and motions for you to sit with a smile that presses into his cheeks.

“Thanks for this. That essay was… eugh.” You almost shiver at the thought.

“Maybe you’ll be able to focus after. All I know is that you need a break.” After he says it it looks like a lightbulb appeared above his head, “You need to eat something, you’ve been in there for what, five hours?”

“Yeah, I had lunch at one.”

“Okay, this can wait then. You need brain food.” You stifle a laugh at his antics despite being touched by the motion.

“I’ll go get something.” You’re grinning now. It’s nice to have someone to talk to, just like you imagined. There’s a creeping thought in the back of your mind that maybe you should thank Soyoon for moving out.

“No no, I’m going to make you something. We can have a pre-dinner together as roommates. It can be a celebration of friendship.” He says confidently and you can’t help but let out the laugh that’s been bubbling up since the lightbulb appeared over his head.

-

You settled on making kimbap because, well, you like it. Cooking with Soobin was chaotic, he almost burnt the beef and ended up being really bad at rolling the dried seaweed, and the ingredients kept slipping out on his.

“I don’t think I can do this…” He complains,

“I believe in you. It’ll taste good either way.” You tell him as you stuff a bit of sliced carrot back into his roll. “Voilá!” You exclaim as you finish stuffing the final kimbap with its fallen ingredients. You feel some sort of déjà vu, rolling kimbaps with your new roommate.

“Thank you. I swear I tried.”

You laugh, “Don’t worry, I believe you. No one pretending to be bad could dream of screwing up as bad as you did.” His shoulders slump a little bit and he looks comically like a sad puppy. “Aw, I didn’t mean it.” You console him and he perks right back up. “Let’s eat!” You take the ceramic plate of kimbap over to the peninsula of cabinets you turned into a seating area. You set the plate down with a dink! while Soobin grabs you both glasses of water. His imposing figure leans over the counter and grabs a roll. His height can be cool, if a little scary sometimes. You meet eyes briefly as he stands back up. 

“Oh, these are good.” He tells you. 

“Really?” You ask in disbelief. You’re surprised when you remember how it was looking to turn out twenty minutes ago.

“What? You don’t believe me?” He needles, you roll your eyes as you take a bite.

“Oh. These are actually pretty good.” It’s a pleasant surprise. “What song do you want to play? I can do almost anything YXA.”

“What about Dear Sputnik?” He asks, mouth full of kimbap. He covers his mouth slightly to cover his chewing.

“You’re joking, I was just working on that one! Did you hear me play?” You ask incredulously.”

“Would it be so bad if I did?” He prompts you, “I started learning that one because I heard you playing.” You’re floored by two things. A) he listened and cared enough to learn it too, and B) he could hear through two walls. You knew your walls were thin, but you didn’t know they were that thin. Damn.

“It wouldn’t be too bad. After we eat, can we play right away?” You ask eagerly.

“Hell yeah! Can you sing?” Is he asking me to sing the song and play?

“I mean, I don’t know if I’m good enough at this song specifically yet to hit the chords and sing.” You excuse yourself from the extra duty, despite wondering if you were telling the truth or not.

He then tentatively asks, “Would you mind if I sang? I can hum, if not.”

“I didn’t know you were a singer!” You say in surprise. “Of course you can, what kind of a question is that?”

“I’m just checking! I’ve been taking lessons since I was little.” He tells you, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world about him. ‘He’ being the guy who is generally the most reserved person on earth around strangers.

“That’s seriously so cool.” You finish the last kimbap on the plate and get up to go put it in the sink, it settles in with the other dishware with a clatter. “I’m really excited, let’s play!” You resist the urge to run down into his room to tune and set up.

He joins you right as you plug your guitar into the amp and it makes a frying sound as he steps on the cord and you wince. “Dear Sputnik?” You ask, recovering from the ear-grating sound.

“Dear Sputnik.” He says and puts on his black-rimmed glasses that were sitting on the horizontal bookshelf behind him. He plugs in his mahogany bass and tunes it with expertise, his large hands expertly reaching across the neck of the instrument, testing notes. You still struggle with getting the perfect tune.

He looks at you, expecting a signal. You nod and he begins the bassline and you prepare your first chord switch.

He starts to sing, and halfway through you can’t help but join in. You close your eyes, feeling the chords, but if you had them open you'd see him looking at you.

[sunlightandsuffering]

could you please list us some unused ideas for RIP Luv? Or some other things you considered but changed?

ahaha omg of course! Thank you for asking 🥰 SO like originally, Eren and Mikasa were both toxic, and it was like a mutual problematic relationship lol, but then I was having a hard time justifying both of them. Like this is my original kind of running with it idea, you can kind of see what I mean about keeping them both faithful to each other and more of just like break up every five seconds kind of couple instead of actualyl sleeping around 😂 which in an angsty fic like this would have just not made sense and been too hard ahaha.

Eren and Mikasa have a fucked-up relationship. They’re a thing and everyone knows it except them, they think they’re just friends with benefits, except both of them want to be more and instead of talking about it like normal people they’re just playing this weird game of chicken.  They break up every five minutes for two reasons, Eren’s busy and doesn’t have time for her always and Mikasa’s family hates Eren. It causes a lot of conflict, but they always go back to each other in the end. 

But this time, this time something is wrong and Eren is actually upset. Mikasa said something that cut too deep. And now he might actually fuck someone else. 

Another thing I changed, and this was very last minute lol was actually the ending I wrote a part of it a long time ago that I found and was gonna run with where it does end in a grand gesture and Mikasa takes Eren to a big gala or event and says fuck u to her aunt and uncle! But i wasn't quite sure how to implement it!

So, to prove it to him. The next day she dolls her boyfriend up after sending him out to break up with Historia and says fuck it and takes him as her date to yet another dumb business gala.  Her aunt and uncle are not at all pleased with the development and tell her if he’s not gone in an hour they’ll be having a very stern discussion about it.  Other guests on the other hand, love him and how could they not? He’s Eren and he’s charming and kind and he’s going to be a doctor. She doesn’t know why she wasted so much time without him by her side. 

Honestly tho, I could see doing this in a second chapter like as an epilogue almost ahaha bc a very large part of me definitely wants to give Eren that grand gesture that he deserves 🤧🤧

Lastly, I was also planning to have Mikasa's seduction arc be much longer lol, like she had PLANS of getting her mans back lol, but I wrote one scene and realized it was very similar to the other ahahah and was like nah this feels like Switch EM rather than RIP Luv EM ahahahaha

Why is it so hard to seduce her roommate? 

Has he always been this inscrutable while she walks around in nothing? She’s wearing nothing but a skimpy black satin robe and has been lounging around the kitchen for a half an hour now, giving Eren great glimpses of her thighs, a peak at her chest. 

Hell, there had even been some nipple action at one point.  And yet he remains fastidiously focused on his task of making chicken cutlets.  He hasn’t been able to escape the apartment for a few days, Historia’s absence taking with it his escape to her apartment. So, he’s been hiding out in his room, coming out only to eat and Mikasa had taken the opportunity to accost him at dinner time.  She demands his attention now that she’s decided she wants him back, she needs to make it clear who he belongs to. 

She’s sitting at the counter, sipping a protein shake she’d stolen from him when he turns around to place the cutlets out to cool.  Mikasa decides now is the opportune time to let her sleeve slip just a little, exposing a tantalizing amount of cleavage.  Eren’s eyes zero in on the dusting of pink where her nipple begins, just the smallest of slips and he glares at her.  He clears his throat, “Maybe you should put some clothes on?”

Mikasa shrugs daintily, allowing the sleeve to fall more, more dusky pink exposed, she’s almost spilling out of her robe now.  “Aren’t you cold?”  “Nope!” She sings, “Can I have some of your cutlets?”  “If you put some clothes on I’ll consider it.”  She huffs in irritation, tugging her robe back up into place, “Happy now?”  “Not really,” Eren tells her tightly and she scowls. 

This is going to be more difficult than she thought. 

I'm sure there's like 1000 other things bc like I said this fic pre dates Switch it's so old 😂😂 its final form is very different than its original one ahaha but i dont know if I remember anymore!!!

[farmerlesbian]

You said ask for love life advice, so here goes! I'm a 21 year old butch and I've never dated anyone. Nobody in high school, nobody so far in university. I've never been asked out, and I've never gone out with anybody, not even for a single date that ever worked out. I feel like everyone I know who's interested in romantic relationships has at least managed to try it out, and I'm getting to the point where I don't really know what to do. I'm not looking to jump into anything long term, I just want a chance to try it out, and get to know my way around romance. It's super intimidating to me, and to make matters worse, I don't like the idea of dating apps. I'm not able to "get out" much because of university and work. I'm just not sure what to do at this point, because I honestly feel like the window of my life where I can actually try something out is closing fast. I'd like to settle down with someone one day, but how can I do that if I've never even had a chance to figure out how to ask for a date?

omg big hugs to youuu anon! hang in there! also, apologies it's taken a little bit to answer your question.

okay we have several thoughts, in no particular order:

you are only 21! you are young, a youngin a baby gayy it is okay you are fine. also covid happened and is still happening, and that can make things feel like you are "behind" but youre not. also your life is not over after college/university. for example i am 28 and feeling like i and a lot of my friends are just gettin into the dating things now.

i totally hear you that it's intimidating and it all feels like big and special and precious and a very big deal, all romantic and dating and sexual things. maybe try to reframe it in your mind, to make it less scary and important? like just try focus on what feels good in the now instead of putting the weight of finding a life-partner on asking someone to hang out.

for me, i just remove the pressure of ~dating~ and think of it more as making friends and getting to know someone. and if i develop an interest in them then that's fun too!

i also get the not really feelin dating apps thing. it's hard to know if you like someone before getting to know them. it feels all turned around and backwards for me! i need to know the person first then maybe feelings and interest will develop. i do like to use dating apps for attention (yes i know that can be frustrating for other people, but i am honest with myself haha), meeting people and feeling connected to my communities (local and gay and trans), and making friends.

for most things in college/uni you can find ways to go out when you are doing your work. like go to a cafe or the library or a common area to study. study with classmates or work on your projects together at someone's house. yeah you're busy, but you can find ways to meet new people because lord knows the only people you're gonna meet at home are your roommates haha. go get lunch with a classmate or take a break from studying and eat dinner together. doesn't need to be anything fancy! plan a game night with some people you want to get to know better.

wishing you the best to you!

[khaleesiofalicante]

Lily’s priorities

Final paper: currently pulling an all nighter for it to still be turned in late because I waited till literally two days before the final paper was due to actually started. Then kept getting distracted.

Reading updates: read the update at least 30 minutes after it was loaded with the excuse that my articles both claimed that I didn’t have access, my roommates attempt to make the free version accessible because it wasn’t and when I brought it up to the web developer he was just like sorry, doesn’t work, have a great day though which just know, at that point don’t answer. Anyways, back to the original point, so I decided to take a break and eat dinner, and catch up on FMF, and got through that in like 20 minutes.

Who needs finals when you have fanfiction? 

PS: in case you wondered if I ended up getting access to the articles that I had originally had access to, I did. I was going to try to access them through my cousins university, but she kept not getting the code, so I had to pay $75 for the articles because I did not want to have to redo the research I had already done.

Anyways coming back to finishing my paper so that I can get the two hours of sleep before my mother drags me out to a party because her friend invited us… Both of us.

The lack of access to research and journal articles for students is fucking ridiculous. We shouldn't have to pay for this shit. Wtf.

Does your uni have a resource portal for students where you can access journal articles for free? Ask them! Also, depending on which country/city you are from, there are also other free resources you can use. Look for them if you have a moment because they will be useful in the future.

PS - Always remember to proofread your final paper. Most people don't.

[vodka-redbull-daily]

December 8th, 2023

J----- was texting me around 1:30 tonight and also sending me a bunch of Snapchat in a row, obviously very desperately trying to get my attention. He asked me what I was up and what I was doing. I asked him what he was up to, and told him that I just finished eating dinner. J----- is the one that used to text me about how badly he wanted to come to my work while I was on break about how he would come just to have a five minute blow job and pay me $200 To do that, and then I could just go straight back to work. He was texting me that he wanted to meet me tonight. sent me some videos of him stroking his dick. he's the first one that had ever done that to me. So I wasn't really that surprised when I got them. I told him I really wasn't feeling well since one of the people I've been training at work got pretty sick and I think I caught something from him. I told him I really wasn't looking to drive anywhere.

I really didn't want to go out but I pretended like the videos of him masturbating enticed me. I don't know, maybe they did a little bit. It's kind of hard to tell. Being utterly horny constantly makes it a little bit difficult. Anyway I decided I might as well go out even though I'm not feeling the best and I kind of just wanted to work on my other stuff. I haven't really gotten the chance to work on anything creative in a while because I've been out doing other stuff. I made a joke about how I really wouldn't want to go anywhere if it was just going to be a five minute blow job and he said that it was definitely going to be more than that. We agreed on the price of 350. I told him that that's generally what I get paid and then if he wanted to do something like anal or something a little bit more, it would be 400 and above.

He texted me an address and I told him it was going to be 30 minutes until I could get there because that's how it usually works. I'm about 30 minutes outside of Austin. So all these Austin boys have to be a little bit patient. And these Austin boys hate being patient. They always act personally offended when I tell them it's gonna take me half an hour or more to get to them, but they sure as hell don't want to be the ones that drive all the way out to me. He couldn't host since he has roommates and I can't either since I have roommates, so he decided that we could fuck in my car because his car was too small. You can probably tell, like I could, at this point that he's a pretty selfish guy. And I was gonna have to give up a lot of my personal stuff in order to satisfy him. 

He was also one of those guys that thinks his dick is god's greatest gift and that just seeing him masturbate alone would be the only thing that I needed to be convinced to come to him. When he heard that it was going to be at least a 30 minute drive from me, he seemed a little bit annoyed. Talking about how much he couldn't wait about how he was too horny to wait that long. I asked him if he wanted to call it off because sometimes people do if they think they have to wait that long. He said no that he still wanted me to come so I set out. I brought some towels in the car with me and a condom in my wallet since J--- had given me so many extra and I didn't want to be caught up with one of those guys that's like “oh, I didn't bring a condom guess you’ll just have to deal with me cumming in you”.

so I started driving into Austin and about halfway there he sent me another text asking me if I was actually coming or not. I assured him I was and that I was only 15 minutes away. The address he gave me took me to the very back of an apartment complex. So when I got there I parked and asked him if this was the right spot. I didn't hear anything for a few minutes. So I sent him another text asking him where he wanted me to park. I didn't hear anything for another few minutes and then I started to realize that this was gonna be another one of those times where I got stood up. what's the fucking point of having me drive an hour in total just for you to chicken at the last second?

I waited about 10 minutes before I sent him a text telling him I was going home and then left. I got stuck at a train crossing for like a good 10 minutes. So I sent him one last text with my cash app telling him that he should probably repay me for the gas and utter disappointment that I had experienced but I don't think he's going to this is the second disappointment of today. Or I guess technically yesterday, I was supposed to meet up with somebody also we had planned the location and I texted him to ask him for the time that night at work. And I set my alarm for the approximate time that he said that he would be off of work in the morning. He said that his meetings ended at 11 and he'd be free after that. So I set my alarm for 10: 30 Just to see if he had texted me. He hadn't so I went ahead and went back to sleep. I'm at least getting better at judging the people who are gonna either ghost me or cancel last minute.

Later on in the day after I'd already gotten to work he sent me a text saying that something had come up and he couldn't get back to me and something about how his sleep was important. And so his sleep schedule had gotten messed up and that's why he wasn't able to meet me. He wants to reschedule for some time next week, but hasn't picked a day yet. I always try to keep Monday blocked off for A--- and Wednesday have an eye doctor's appointment. I am thinking of calling out of work today just because I'm not feeling well. But at the same time they're getting a little bit stricter about attendance at work and I kind of don't want to push it anymore. I don't necessarily have the best attendance, but my supervisor has been letting me slip by since I get sick pretty often and he knows that I've been going through a really bad breakup and it's been affecting me pretty badly mentally.

I didn't mean to tell him that he kind of warmed it out of me. He's been giving me some leeway and he also knows that I have the worst periods ever. So I usually have a pretty good excuse to be out but it is honestly out a little bit too often for both his and my liking. So even though I probably should call out tomorrow because I'm sick, I kind of don't want to because I feel like this might be the time that my attendance problems finally catch up with me.

Although if I call out tomorrow I can meet C---- I think his name is in the same parking lot that I fucked B------ in. he doesn't pay as much as this guy wanted to tonight, but that's life I guess. D---- is a possible Thursday and B------ wanted to schedule something for the week after next week. C---- from Snapchat wanted to schedule something for tomorrow or Sunday. He sent me a text saying why I never gave him the booty call when I thought he was gonna booty call me. He only wants to pay 150 but he's actually funny. So I kind of like him. He's another one where neither of us can host. We'll see where that one goes. If I call it a work, I can go see C--- at least but I kind of get in a bad mood after I have one of these cancellations. I really don't want to see anybody else for a while.

I do my best not to count my chickens before they hatch and I definitely don't put a lot of stake into the amount that they offer. But it is incredibly annoying. Annoying to have that $350 dangling in front of my face, just for them to chicken out last minute. And it’s never even my fault. It's literally themselves either falling asleep or getting in their own head or deciding that their fantasy is more important than actually getting their dick wet.

It's whatever, I guess. It was particularly annoying to do this drive because I had to pass where J---- worked. The drive was almost exactly the same drive to get to J----'s apartment. I don't know why J---- has been on my mind so much lately. You would think with all these other dicks that I would be able to forget his more easily. But maybe it's because of the person that's attached to the dick. 

Well, I guess I am a romantic, afterall. 

Total Earned: $5,720

Body Count: 18

Dick Pics: 22

Videos: 4

Nudes sent: 4

Head Recieved: 3

Head Given: 15

Sex Ranking:

B------

Him

T-----

W----

P-----

F----

G---

A---

G--

R--

J---

T-------

J--

M--- (x2)

D--

J----

A----

M---

[brilium]

➳❥│K I N K T O B E R 2 0 2 3 ♡

Yooooo, this is the first time ever that I participate on this since I started writing, I’m so exciteddd! ♡ I really want to complete it but if I don’t I’ll make sure to post them later:)

My main fandoms rn are Jujutsu Kaisen and Attack on Titan, I thought about adding Chainsawman but I need to re-read it all the manga for accuracy 😩

♡ D I S C L A I M E R ‼️‼️

⤷This is obviously about to contain mature content, minors do not interact or you'll be blocked:) This goes also for ageless blogs so put it on your blog pls.

⤷If you don't like this kind of stuff, just ignore it and keep scrolling or block me ♡

⤷SatoSugu and Eren are my soft pookies, so there might be more of them in the list, sorry. I need to write about them a lot to live 😩

♡ M A S T E R L I ST ♡

❥DAY 1. Filming! with Suguru Geto

╰┈➤Summary. Starting to sell content online is giving you a good source of money and, maybe, meeting with one of your mutuals might bring a good content for your account.

❥DAY 2. Voyeurism! with Mikasa Ackerman

╰┈➤Summary. Your organized roommate hates your messy ways to live but, a little mistake with the closet door might lead her to break those walls on her.

❥DAY 3. Camgirl! with Eren Jaeger

╰┈➤Summary. Eren got you a tulip necklace on your birthday, one that you never take off, not even during your livestreams on a secret site at night. And Eren could recognize that necklace anywhere.

❥DAY 4. Car Sex! with Toji Fushiguro

╰┈➤ Ok, I'll be honest, I wrote it but I didn't liked it JKDDJKH. So I'll post it when I've finished the list lol

❥DAY 5. Clothes on! with Jean Kristein

╰┈➤Summary. You're a pain in the ass for Jean, and for you? He's a nuisance before meeting up with Eren for a hook up. Fortunately, the two best students of Dr. Smith are smart (or horny) enough to find a middle point where they can do more than fighting.

❥DAY 6. Cheating! with Satoru Gojo

╰┈➤Summary.Your boyfriend, hated by all your friends, turns you down again on a dinner that you planned for weeks and Satoru shows up at a bar to wash away all your worries like he always does.

❥DAY 7. Size Kink! with Reiner Braun

╰┈➤Summary. Attending to the gym is tiring. And in the morning shift? Worse. But the fat crush on your coach makes it lighter for you. One day, you decide to take the risk to finally make a move with him.

❥DAY 8. Phone Sex! with Eren Jaeger

╰┈➤Summary. A boundarie of not having sex with your hot ex-fuckboy boyfriend for a whole month is eating you from the inside and you decide that it's time to tempt him with a good night selfie.

❥DAY 9. Aphrodisiac! with Nanami Kento

╰┈➤Summary. Nanami has been dealing with a lot of stress at the office lately, and you decided to buy him a naturalist tea that it supposed to help with the stress relief. It seems to help with stress in a very particular way...

❥DAY 10. Deep Throat! with Toji Fushiguro

╰┈➤Summary. Megumi got in a fight for the third time in the month, and his father had to attend with Megumi's teacher to talk about his behavior. Toji finds her hot and annoying. Maybe there's one way to fix his annoyance by hearing her yell.

❥DAY 11. Thigh Riding! with Erwin Smith

❥DAY 12. Caught Sex! with Suguru Geto

╰┈➤Summary. One of Suguru's co-workers keeps trying to flirt with him even though she knows that he's dating you and you sneak out on the changing rooms to show her how to strike back properly.

❥DAY 13. Toys! with Armin Arlet

❥DAY 14. Witch! Reader (Medieval AU) with Eren Jaeger

╰┈➤Summary. You’ve been calmly living in the heart of the forest since people started to believe in stupid rumors of witches. When you cross paths with a hurt man hunting, you give him a hand and turns your small wooden house into a hotter place.

❥DAY 15. Morning Sex! with Porco Galliard

╰┈➤Summary. Marcel brought his not anymore little brother to the beach vacation, you thirsty in the morning might lead you to let your morning desires lead you.

❥DAY 16. Public Sex! with Satoru Gojo

╰┈➤Summary. Satoru Gojo has an arranged marriage since before his birth, and today is the day to impress each other’s family before the wedding preparations start but you both don’t seem so excited for it so you find the way to go with it through the thin paper walls.

❥DAY 17. Breeding Kink! with Nanami Kento

❥DAY 18. Shower Sex! with Levi Ackerman

❥DAY 19. Roleplay! with Suguru Geto

❥DAY 20. Girls Night! with Shoko Ieri and Utahime Iori

❥DAY 21. Succubus! with Armin Arlert

╰┈➤Summary. Eren is being a headache talking about having weird dreams and sleep paralysis, Armin always ignores his blabbering, but when he wakes up in the middle of the night with a weight on his lap, he starts to questionate himself.

❥DAY 22. Hate Sex! with Sukuna’s True Form

❥DAY 23. Costumes! with Eren Jaeger

❥DAY 24. Gloryhole! with Toji Fushiguro

❥DAY 25. Make Up Sex! with Satoru Gojo

❥DAY 26. Face Sitting! with Porco Galliard

❥DAY 27. Overstimulation! with Satoru Gojo and Suguru Geto

❥DAY 28. Office Sex! with Nanami Kento

❥DAY 29. Somnophilia! with Jean Kristein

❥DAY 30. Gangbang! with Eren Jaeger, Jean Kristen and Connie Springer

Divider by: benkeibear

[jungkxook]

—hot boy bummer. (m)

⟶ pairing: jungkook x reader 

⟶ genre: fuckboy!jungkook / friends with benefits / friends to lovers + smut  

⟶ words: 14,633

⟶ rating: 18+ 

⟶ summary: when jungkook offers you a proposition of just sex, no strings attached, how can you possibly say no? after all, what are best friends for?

⟶ warnings: kind of a crack fic, sprinkle of angst, way too casual conversations mid-sex, jealous jungkook, slight himbo jungkook tbh (he’s kind of a sweet loveable idiot), he also has a big dick oops, man bun and blonde jungkook to feed my fantasies!, multiple smut scenes!!!, missionary, dry humping, oral sex (m receiving), face fucking, unprotected sex, slight degradation (mostly jungkook hating himself), brief name calling, light choking, sort of praise kink

⟶ note: this was inspired by a number of things but mainly do me by kim petras being on jungkook’s spotify playlist, this tiktok sound, and this tumblr post lol also big thank you to @bratkook​ and @onherwings​ for letting me ramble on about this fic and reigniting my inspo for it 💛

( p.s. i tried to proofread this but if y’all see any typos no u didn’t, thank u <3 )

Being friends with Jungkook meant a myriad of things but mainly that there were hardly ever any boundaries that stood between you and him.

Having known him for most of your life, it was just a quintessential part of yours and his relationship with one another. From high school parties where you drunkenly spewed on his shoes and in his dad’s car after he tried lugging you home (and taking the fall all himself for your sake) to letting him lose his virginity in your bed to some girl you didn’t know because your parents were out of town and his would crucify him on the spot if they had found out; or him discovering your stash of vibrators in your dorm one day, or seeing each other naked more often than was probably necessary, there was nothing that either of you could do that would phase the other at this point even when it maybe, probably, definitely should.

College, and Jungkook’s sudden six pack of hard rock abs, only seemed to amplify the chaos of your friendship. If you’re being honest, the abs are sort of a plus ━ but they brought an air of fuckboy to him that is undeniably there even if he tries to deny it sometimes. You suppose it isn’t all his fault. Jungkook has always been bold and brash, attractively charming. Considering he’s seemingly made it his mission to sleep with every girl on campus before he graduates (undisclosed, if you’re being honest, because he’s never outwardly admitted it but you have a hunch), his confidence somehow hasn’t failed him yet.

But then there’s one night in which you think to yourself briefly: this surely must draw some sort of line.

“What if we, like, had sex?”

Jungkook says this a little too casually from beside you. He’s sat on the couch in his dorm, scrolling aimlessly on his phone, and you’re sprawled out on the remaining space, feet kicked up in his lap. You’re positive he’s drunk but, then again, so are you. The remnant shot glasses of soju you had both started the night with (though you think Jungkook’s had half the bottle himself), and your second glass of wine, are all evidence of that. You’re so absorbed by some anime Jungkook had been watching upon your arrival and refused to change that you almost don’t hear what he says. Almost. You do, however, nearly choke on the gummy bear you’ve just tossed into your mouth.

After a sudden hysterical fit of coughs, you manage to sputter, “Excuse me?”

“Like, hypothetically speaking.” He hardly budges when you turn to gawk at him, as if he’s asking you something as casual as what to eat for dinner or if you could pass him the T.V. remote. “Except, not really hypothetically.”

“You’re joking, right?” You scoff.

Jungkook blinks. “No. Why would I be joking?”

You blink. The longer you stare at him, the quicker you’re able to discern that there’s some sort of earnesty in his words and it slightly concerns you. Suddenly, you’re warm in the face. To distract from that painfully obvious fact, an incredulous laugh bubbles at your lips and you kick one of your feet at his thighs. “Very funny, Koo. Can we change the show now if you’re not even watching it?”

“I’m not joking, Y/N.” The severity in his tone makes you sit up at once. When you turn to look at him, he flashes you a taunting smirk, though the devious sparkle in his eyes lets you know this seems to be anything but a joke to him. “I’m sure you’ve thought of me naked before.”

“You’re such a fucking idiot━” Okay, so maybe you have thought of him naked before but how is it your fault when you literally have seen him naked before, and he’s so unabashed around you? “Should I bring you to a hospital to get your head checked, or━?”

“Just hear me out━” Now, he pushes himself to the edge of the sofa. “Why are you here right now?”

“In life? Because I honestly have no clue━”

“No, I meant here. Getting drunk in my apartment on a Friday night instead of getting railed.”

“Okay, I didn’t ask to get called out like that,” You grumble stiffly. “And because you’re my best friend, and I like spending time with you.” It’s not entirely a lie, because you would much rather spend time with Jungkook than anyone else. But when you feel his eyes boring into you in a look of scrutiny, your lips form into a pout which you try to hide by puckering them. “Also because boys are stupid and Hoseok’s blind date stood me up. Again.”

The events from hours earlier resurface in your memory, in which you had spent all evening making yourself look pretty for a boy you had only talked to through text that your roommate had introduced you to, only to arrive to the restaurant you were supposed to be meeting at and waiting there for half an hour by yourself before the boy had sent you a message saying something along the lines of “something came up, hope we can reschedule,” filing it under one of the lamest excuses you’ve ever heard because it hardly even borders on a valid excuse. It’s what had ultimately made you storm into Jungkook’s apartment an hour ago, exclaiming aloud as a greeting with a simple yet scarily cheerful I hate men! because Jungkook knows all about your plights with finding a significant other (or even just someone decent enough to open your legs to), usually lamenting men’s inability to have any emotions. Even the ones who you think are respectable enough, who say they’re fine not having sex on the first date, usually tend to flee right after you finally let them in because sex, as you come to find, seems to be all that men care about.

Admittedly, Jungkook is not any different.

“But it’s not like you’re any better.”

This seems to personally offend Jungkook. He looks at you cynically. “Me?”

“Tell me why you’re here with me on a Friday night when you’re literally one of the hottest guys on campus,” You point out. “You can get any girl, and yet you somehow manage to ruin it every single time. Like with Eunha.”

Jungkook winces. The poor Eunha in question is a pretty girl from your chem class, whomst Jungkook had somehow managed to charm. From what you know, they had hooked up a handful of times before that fateful night in which Jungkook had abruptly broken things off with her. If you’re being honest, he’s not a total monster. The only thing that seems to scare him away is when a girl asks to cuddle him in the morning or talks about the prospective future together. He doesn’t want to hurt them, he told you once before, and finds it much easier to nip any potential relationship in the bud before it can get too far, too out of control.

“We literally only slept together three times anyway and we never went out,” Jungkook points out. “What’s the big deal?”

A roll of your eyes doesn’t go unnoticed by Jungkook. “Yeah, it’s not her fault you’re scared of commitment.”

“Nu’uh,” The boy sulks. “I’m only scared of realistic things, like microwaves.”

A snort bubbles at your lips, and it’s frustrating how adorable he finds the simple action. Rather than entertain the thought of his irrational fear of kitchen appliances (because you’ve heard it all before, and you still can’t find where he was incited with the terror of an exploding microwave), you sit up.

“Jungkook, I don’t even like you like that.”

“I don’t like you like that either. That’s why it’s so perfect!” Jungkook says brightly. “Look, we know each other better than anyone else ever could. We’re already comfortable with each other. We don’t have to go through all that boring small talk. All I’m saying is we could give it a try. No relationship, no emotions, just sex.”

You consider the thought for a moment, weigh the pros and cons in your head.

The cons? He’s your best friend.

The pros? He’s your best friend, and he’s hot.

Truthfully, your slightly buzzed mind can find very little to dissuade you away from the inviting proposition and maybe that’s why you begin to entertain the idea. And, sure, you had just complained profusely about how men sometimes only used you for sex, but it’s not like you don’t have needs too. You just don’t have the gusto in you anymore to spend days on a boy who will only just leave you the moment you let him have sex with you. At least with Jungkook, he’s already offering you a blatant deal of sex only and you know you won’t have to worry about him breaking your heart; and he doesn’t have to worry about the dreaded dreamy post-sex cuddle talk of a future family and babies and a white picket-fence home. It’s a win-win for the both of you, really. Or maybe you’re just telling yourself that.

“How would we even start?” You ask finally. “I mean… Do you even find me attractive enough in that way?”

“Yeah.” Jungkook hardly bats a lash. He meets your stare, licks slowly at his lower lip. When he sees the cross look of disbelief scrunching at your face, he hastens to respond. “I’m not blind. You’re fucking drop dead gorgeous, Y/N.”

“But physically attractive? I’m no hot girl Eunha.”

“If I wanted Eunha, I’d be between her legs right now. Y/N, of course I think you’re attractive.” A gentle sliver of a smile dances upon his lips. He leans his head on the back of the couch, eyes fluttering over your appearance shortly. “I’ve always liked your lips, and your eyes. Think they’re beautiful.”

Suddenly, you’re flustered again. The room feels as if it’s getting increasingly warmer, yet you seem to want to bask in the feeling and attention a little longer. “That’s too sentimental.”

“It’s true though.”

“Well, you’re lucky I’ve always had a thing for idiots,” You jest playfully. “Jerks, too. Playboys who are too hot for their own good.”

“Ah, and I love it when you talk dirty to me.” A cheeky grin tugs at his lips as he clutches at his heart over his chest. “It’s a good thing I like it a little too much, knowing you’ll always keep me in check.”

But then the mirth seems to fade from your mind long enough for you to hum aloud pensively, “And I’ve always liked your eyes. I’ve never seen such big eyes before. Sometimes, if I look long enough, it’s like I can see the stars in them.”

As you’re speaking about them, his irises glisten magnificently. He bites at his lip now, as if to hide the way his soft smile turns sheepish. “I like your bum.”

“Really? I always worry it’s too flat.”

“Are you kidding? Your ass is a fucking god-send. It’s hard not to stare when you wear leggings sometimes,” Jungkook admits, earning a small giggle from you. “And I like your boobs. I’ve always wondered…” He trails off abruptly, shaking his head. He shoots you an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. I’ll stop. I’m being an idiot, aren’t I?”

“Well, maybe I don’t want you to stop.”

Silence saturates the room now, settling comfortably between the two of you. He wonders what you’re thinking, and you wonder if he can hear your heart hammering against your chest. Perhaps on any other day when you were of sound mind, you could find a plethora of reasons as to why sleeping with your best friend was a terrible idea. But being that you were slightly tipsy, and Jungkook isn’t far off, you can find not one fault, except for maybe how tragically hot Jungkook looks sitting across from you and how he’s never been yours, at least in that way. Would it be so wrong to try just once?

You shift then, pushing yourself to your knees if only so you can worm your way towards him before swinging one leg over his. You settle back on his lap, hands gripping his shoulders. He can feel your core press against the inside of his thigh, just where his dick is nestled and he has to bite back a moan. His eyes are wider than usual, as if believing the moment to be surreal, though something sultry threatens to darken them.

“Y/N…”

The excitement crackles through your veins like electricity. You’ve never been in such a compromising position with Jungkook before, and you wonder if it should be concerning just how much you’re enjoying it. It almost feels as if time slows down, every second dragging on, yet he can’t look away. His hands come to tug at your hoodie (that he’s almost positive was his once upon a time before you nicked it from his closet) and you meet him part way, replacing his efforts as you pull it up and off your body. Then, you’re sitting back on his lap in your full nude glory, chest bare and right in his face. He eyes the swell of your breasts, the perk of your nipples. Of course you’re not wearing anything beneath your hoodie ━ and, god, he loves it.

“Touch me?”

Your voice comes to him in an almost dream. You reach for his hand then, your palm soft around his knuckles and the tattoos that ink his skin. It’s the same hand of which he wears the other half to your pair of friendship bracelets in one of his favourite colours of red, decorated with little pink hearts. It came in a matching set of two (yours in your own favourite colour, currently on the wrist of the hand you’re using to guide Jungkook’s), cute little macrame braid ones with hearts woven into the design that you had pointed out one day while you were both at the mall and he had bought without any hesitation mostly as a joke but resulted in both of you wearing them on a daily basis.

Now, all he can do is continue watching you with bated breath as you guide his hand right where you both want him. He comes to cup the underside of one of your breasts, your hand over his pressing his fingers tighter together until you can feel some sort of pleasant pressure. And, just like that, something feral and needy seems to snap within him. His hand slithers from your grasp if only so he can flick his thumb across your nipple, mesmerized by the softness of it. He’s only ever seen you naked once before and it was fleeting. You were both drunk, skinny dipping in a lake with a handful of other friends, but it had been too dark to notice much else. But now? Now, he can see all of you and the sight strikes a chord right down to his dick.

“You’re fucking beautiful,” Jungkook groans.

“Koo.” The cute little nickname you had given him sounds dirty now as it slips from your lips in a moan. “Too sentimental.”

But Jungkook isn’t listening because you really, really, really are so beautiful. He bows his head to your chest, catching one of your nipples in his mouth. He murmurs something against your chest that sounds akin to, “We can take things slow.”

“Slow…” Your head is spinning, but it’s a delightful sensation. Something hard pokes against your ass now, and the adrenaline only seems to build within you. It’s odd how everything feels so foreign ━ exploring his body and these newfound feelings like the uncharted territory it is ━ yet secure and safe at the same time. As if you know what to do next, where to touch next, how to move, your bodies almost fitting together like pieces to a puzzle. “Y-Yeah, I like that. Can I move?”

“Fuck, yes, please,” he growls. He’s much too busy nipping and sucking at the sensitive skin on your chest, teeth tugging at your nipple.

You hurry to obey, giving a small experimental swivel of your hips that almost immediately has the both of your inhaling a sharp breath of air. His dick strains against his sweatpants, the material doing very little in protecting him against you. Your core throbs as you rub yourself on him.

“Like this?” You rasp.

“Yeah, just like that.” Jungkook’s head rolls back onto the couch, his eyes squeezing shut and his blonde hair spilling into his eyes. He clenches his jaw, the nerves fluttering in the corner, as pure euphoria riddles his features. You don’t think you’ve ever seen anything so sexy. “Fuck, we probably shouldn’t be doing this.”

“Yeah,” You agree, breathless. “Do you wanna stop?”

“No. Do you?”

“No.”

“Thank god.” The sigh of relief that emits from Jungkook startles even him but, in the heat of the moment, he doesn’t register how any of this could be a mistake. “Ah, shit━ Faster━”

“Mmm, Koo━” You whimper as you quicken your pace, the vulgar harbored thought of his dick in you thrilling you to no end.

“Fuuck, I’ve never heard you sound like this before. So needy, so desperate,” Jungkook grunts, his fingers digging into your hips. And it’s all because of him, the way you’re feeling. He’s never wanted to hurry to please you faster, itching to tear you apart if he’ll get to hear those noises from you again and again. “I━”

He’s gonna cum, and he’s not even in your pussy. What’s gotten into him?  

He presses you a little harsher against his dick, sitting up straighter so that his chest is pressed flush against yours. He leans forward, lips chasing after yours, before you pull back just enough sluggishly to press your finger to his mouth.

“Uh uh. No kissing,” You rasp.

The words process in Jungkook’s head, but the weight of them don’t seem to linger in his daze. He’s far too overwhelmed by you and the way you’re making him feel to even begin to try to decipher why you avoid his mouth and so, for now, he doesn’t care. Instead, he buries his face in the crook of your neck, nose nuzzling against your throat. You clutch at his hair, tugging at the roots tight enough for him to moan.

“Nnngh, Jungkook━” You whine. “I’m gonna━ Oh, fuck, Koo━”

And then you’re unravelling, right in his very arms. He holds you close as you tremble and shake, rutting your hips sloppily against his to ride out your high, and Jungkook thinks he can definitely get used to this. The familiar burn forms in his stomach and, without even thinking of it, he comes in the confinements of his pants.

But in the heat of the moment, he doesn’t notice quite a lot of things. Neither do you.

So, maybe you could both find a hundred and one reasons why having sex with your best friend would surely cross some lines, but the thing with you and Jungkook (and what would eventually blossom into a hubristic relationship of sorts) is that it wasn’t just sex. You would always be comfortable around him, as he would be with you. And nothing could ever possibly get weird between the two of you ━ not when you had both made a promise to each other that it wouldn’t get in the way of your friendship.

Because ━ while, yeah, he’s hot and suffers from fuckboy tendencies from time-to-time and, aside from random late night hookups ━ he was still the same boy that would drag you out at three in the morning to drive to the next city over for a bowl of ramen, who would marathon shows as long as One Piece or Game of Thrones with you, watching as much as you can in one all-nighter; who would come to your dorm, no matter the time of day, the moment you said you were sick or suffering from cramps, piled high with your favourite snacks; who shared a repertoire of silly inside jokes with you that never made any sense to anyone but the both of you; who insisted you both wear friendship bracelets even in college. He would always be an angel to you, treat you well, because you meant that much to him.

A small thought in the back of Jungkook’s head wonders, above all else, if you were anyone different, would he have even bothered suggesting such a ludicrous idea, drunk or not?

Because he’s positive no one else could make him cum in his pants like a horny prepubescent teen ━ no one except for you.

“If we’re really gonna do this, we need to set some ground rules.”

Admittedly, neither you nor Jungkook knew what would happen after Jungkook’s proposition to you. Maybe you were expecting the two of you to pretend as if nothing had ever happened, or laugh it off as something so inconsequential that neither of you should bother worrying about it. Instead, the very next day, you find that you’re back in Jungkook’s dorm. Only this time, you’re in his bed, and he spent the past half hour sufficiently eating you out.

Now, you’ve had an epiphany in the form of Jungkook’s dick, and that is that it’s big.

You’ve seen it before on occasion ━ like when he streaked nude across campus as a dare or when he needed to use your shower because his apartment was under maintenance and he walked out on you in the living room ━ but this is clearly a very different circumstance. All red, swollen, angry tip wet and glistening with precum. You had to brace yourself as he pushed himself into you, cautiously and slowly, enjoying the way you stretch to fit around him. If you had a drunken excuse the night before for loving the thought of getting off with Jungkook, then you surely don’t have one now. It’s a shameless guilty pleasure, you think, that he’s at least indulging in.

“Rules,” Jungkook scoffs now. “You’re such a nerd. Fuck, you feel so fucking good━ You doing okay?”

More than. Your head lolls back against his pillow, eyes nearly rolling to the back of your head. “Mhm.”

“Want a minute?”

“Maybe.”

Jungkook pauses without any hesitation, gnawing on his lower lip as your walls clench around him so tightly he feels he might fall apart then and there. His hands are on your hips, thumbs rubbing comforting circles against your burning skin. A few deep breaths later and you’re probing Jungkook to move again. His hips rut into yours at a leisure pace, and he marvels for a moment at the way his dick disappears into your pussy, slick and wet with your own arousal. The thought of being in you ━ of finally feeling your walls wrapped around him, all wet and snug ━ is enough to make him bust then and there, but he refrains miraculously.

“Holy fuck,” You groan. “Why are you so big━”

Your voice cuts off into a delightful whimper, walls aching around him. Jungkook snorts, burrowing his face in the crook of your neck. “Nothing sexier than hearing you stroke my ego.”

“Don’t let it get to your already big head,” You retort sluggishly.

“Big head!” he grumbles against your throat, lips brushing faintly against your skin and sending shivers down your spine. “Insult me some more. You know how it gets me going.”

“Oh my god, shut up. Where were we?”

“Rules.”

“Right,” You breathe in a sharp inhale of air as he grinds against your hips. “And rule number one is no kissing. That’s way too intimate.”

Jungkook quirks a brow. “How is kissing more intimate than having my dick in you?”

“It just is.” You refuse to tell him the truth. You poke your fingers at his sides, causing him to jerk against you. “Don’t question it.”

“Fine. Then no sentimental shit in general, like cuddling or pet names,” Jungkook retorts. “And no public displays of affection.”

“Okay,” You nod. “Fuck, Jungkook━”

“God, I love hearing you moan my name,” Jungkook grunts. He watches with fascination the way your face reacts at his every movement. “Too much?”

“No. Kinda hot,” You admit. An abrupt thought pops into your head that has you murmuring hazily, “Oh, and you can’t have sex with me to your sex playlist.”

Jungkook looks appalled. The sex playlist in question is one you’ve heard briefly before, if only because you’ve walked in on Jungkook and his flavour of the month a handful of times one too many times.

“So you’re telling me you don’t want to have the best orgasm of your life to The Weeknd or the Neighbourhood? WAP?” Jungkook asks, wriggling his brows suggestively. “Alanis Morissette?” You have less than half a second to register the 90s pop singer as out of place before Jungkook breaks out into song with a brief rendition of Head over Feet. “You’re my best friend, best friend with benefits━!”

Part of you knows he’s joking, but there’s still a small sliver of you that makes you gawk at him dubiously before dissolving into a fit of unabashed laughter. It rumbles against his chest, vibrates his dick in you. “You’re not serious, are you? That’s not actually in your sex playlist, is it?”

He flashes you a shit-eating grin. “Guess you’ll never know now.”

Another roll of your eyes makes him snicker. He’s gotten used to your snide remarks, but he’ll gladly keep suffering under them if he gets to wipe that taunting smirk off your face each time with the way his dick makes you feel. You cling a little tighter to his shoulders and muse aloud, “So that’s it then?”

“Yeah━” Jungkook knows you’re referring to the rules and your plan, although it’s getting harder to focus on talking as he continues to grind against you. “And nothing has to change between us, even if we stop. We’re still just two best friends.”

“Yup.”

“Who have sex from time to time.”

“Yeah.”

He can’t help himself. He tries again. “Who might kiss.”

“Nope.” You’re smiling even despite the way you shoot him an aggravated stare first.

“We might?”

“No, we definitely won’t.”

Worth a shot, he thinks to himself. At least you really do always keep him in check.

After all, what are best friends for?

So, maybe a part of you thought the shift in your relationship with Jungkook wouldn’t last very long. A week at most, and maybe Hoseok would find you another pointless let down of a blind date to go on and Jungkook would get horny for some other girl ━ but it’s certainly been more than a week now, and you’ve had sex with him more than two times.

A third, and a fourth, if you’re being blatantly honest, and maybe a few more times after that but you don’t really remember what count you’re both on now which should probably be concerning. Days elapse into days, which turn to weeks, then months. Morning, afternoon, and night.

It’s not as if you hadn’t already spent almost every waking moment with Jungkook but now you had a reason to be at his apartment at any and all hours of the day and not solely for movie watching marathons. You’re positive he’s still having his occasional random flings, though you’re fortunate his commitment issues at least force him to go to their homes rather than his for the most part, so you never really have to witness half-naked girls stumbling out of his apartment just as you’re wandering in. He says it has something to do with how his bedroom is his sacred space, though you think it’s more like he wouldn’t want his hook ups discovering his Overwatch figurines or something (because, before Jungkook’s proposition, you’ve walked in on him once and a girl when they were entangled on the couch in his living room).

But you’ve noticed lately you’re getting too comfortable with your arrangement with Jungkook; too comfortable knowing he’ll be there at the end of a long day to greet you, to please you until you’re crying out his name. Sometimes he tells you about the girls he’s texting, or shows you a picture from a hot girl’s Instagram whose D.M.s he’s just slid into. And sometimes you’re left wondering how often he comes straight to you after hooking up with a random girl.

It shouldn’t matter to you, and you swear that it doesn’t.

Maybe you’re just overthinking things. Hoseok certainly seems to think so, but his judgement wasn’t much to go by.

Because, lately, Hoseok has been encouraging you more and more to give Yukhei (the blind date Hoseok had initially set you up with when you found yourself at Jungkook’s) another chance for two reasons: 1) “Yukhei’s a nice boy,” he had cheerfully reminded you, “he’ll treat you well,” and 2) “Stop fucking your best friend. It’s morally wrong.”

There were many things wrong with his statement, from the fact that you didn’t exactly consider standing up a date as “nice” and that you were also still begrudgingly lamenting the way Hoseok had discovered your recent fling with Jungkook (although, you weren’t being very inconspicuous, having shower sex with Jungkook early one morning when you were certain Hoseok would be spending the day at his fiance’s home instead of yours).

But then you meet Yukhei and you realize that, oh crap, he’s cute. And he’s nice.

As it turns out, after bumping into him one day when you’re with Hoseok lounging on the quad of your campus and he comes bounding over to return a textbook Hoseok had lent him for a specific class, Yukhei is so easily charming. He also gives a pretty valid excuse for flaking on your date, proving that he had to present his dissertation, making you clearly aware that he’s cute, nice, and smart. Jungkook, on the other hand, doesn’t see the appeal, yet his curiosity and intrigue seems to get the best of him.

“So that was your blind date?” Jungkook asks after grabbing your attention on the quad and stealing you away from Hoseok and Yukhei. “Yukhei?”

“You know him?”

“Seen him around,” Jungkook shrugs nonchalantly. “I’ve never really talked to him. But him? You’re not telling me you’re actually interested in him, are you?”

“I don’t know. Maybe,” You’re truly just as clueless about your feelings towards Yukhei as Jungkook seems to be. “What’s so wrong about him?”

“He’s━” Jungkook stops. He shakes his head. “Heard he’s got a small dick anyway.”

You shoot the boy a wary look, only to find him grinning deviously at himself. “Maybe he just wants to be friends.”

At this, Jungkook lets out a scoffing sound that borders on disbelieving laughter. “No, I definitely think he wants to have sex with you in his Toyota Camry, Y/N, but what do I know?”

“You’re not jealous, are you?”

“No, why would I be jealous?”

You can’t quite tell if he’s angry or not but, then again, why would he be? As far as either of you are concerned, there’s nothing to be jealous of.

So then why does it feel like he’s simply just telling himself that?

“Are you seriously on your phone right now?”

Jungkook asks this from somewhere behind you a handful of days later, a little peeved but most likely because your jarring 8:00 a.m. alarm had roused the both of you violently awake. In his defense, Jungkook is not a morning person.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” You’re currently sprawled out on your hands and knees on his bed, phone still in your grasp after having plucked it off the nightstand in haste. Your clothes are scattered across the floor of his room, remnant clues of the night before when he had beckoned you over after hours, and your body is covered in nothing but hickeys and an unbuttoned blue flannel belonging to Jungkook that you had chucked on last night that does nothing in covering up the swell of your breasts which Jungkook is now currently eyeing. “Am I not giving you enough attention? Were you expecting cuddles or something? Thought that wasn’t in the rules.”

“No,” Jungkook huffs. He runs a hand through his long messy hair in an attempt to fix it; he ultimately gives up taming his locks, instead using the hair tie around his wrist to tie his hair back into a cute yet sexy little ponytail. As he does so, you notice the red friendship bracelet around his wrist and smile smally. “But my dick could use some cuddles. Preferably with your mouth, but it will also gladly accept your hand.”

Jungkook may not be a morning person but, as you’ve come to realize, his dick certainly is.

It’s painfully obvious too, his hardened length straining against the gray sweatpants he had thrown on at some point. And, god, did he have to wear those? It left little to the imagination, the outline of his length teasing you just enough.

“I should get going,” You say. “I have a test coming up. There’s supposed to be a review session today in class, and I don’t want to miss it.”

“Well, you don’t seem like you’re in a rush since you’re still on your phone,” Jungkook points out. “Who are you texting anyway? Yukhei?”

“Anger is an emotion,” You rebuke casually. “So is jealousy.”

Jungkook feigns a look of mock hurt. “I’m not angry or jealous! I’m needy.”

Still, Jungkook reaches out to swiftly pluck your phone from your hands.

“Jungkook━!”

He’s pressed up against your back in an instant, his dick hard against your ass, and he doesn’t move very far even when you twist in your spot in an attempt to grab your phone back. You don’t, and instead you end up on your back with him on his side, propped up on his elbow. You miss when he casts a swift gaze down at your phone, only to see that Yukhei’s chat messages are indeed open, and something seems to gnaw terribly at his gut before he tosses your phone to the side. He’s looking at you now with those big beautiful eyes of his, and you hate it.

“Please?” he beckons. He ruts his hips impatiently but slowly against your leg. He drops his head to bury his face in the crook of your neck, lips dangerously close to brushing against your flesh but he refrains somehow. “M’so hard right now, could probably bust the moment you touch me.”

The thought is tempting, having a helpless Jungkook cumming in your hands. The sight alone has quickly become your favourite thing, helping the frustrated boy get off. Besides, you’re certain you could ask Hoseok for the review notes.

Fuck it, you cave.

You fidget until you’ve pressed him back against the bed and have clambered on top of him, wiggling your way down to fit between his legs. Jungkook is watching you now with a half-asleep expression, though his teeth sink into his lower lip as you pull at his sweatpants until they’re down at his thighs, letting his swollen dick spring free.

“You know━” You hum. You reach out to grab at the base of his cock. “Yukhei wants to hang out, and Hoseok keeps telling me to give it a shot.”

That much is true. Part of you wants to say yes, if only because Yukhei seems promising enough, but the thought alone is enough for you to feel as if you’ve done something horribly wrong to Jungkook.

“Oh.” The word eclipses Jungkook’s mouth in a shallow breath of air. Then, your mouth wraps around the puffy head of his dick, shining with leaking precum that you swallow back, and Jungkook’s reaction is immediate. Head thrown back, face scrunching together, muscles in his toned abdomen flexing as he seizes and grunts aloud. “Oh, fuck━ Well… Are you gonna?”

Jungkook asks the last question with much difficulty, and a part of him thinks it doesn’t all have to do with how you’re making him feel.

“Dunno.” You snort around his dick, and he marvels at how adorable such a lewd action can seem.

You decide to focus on sucking him off because it truly is a sexy sight to see, letting the topic of Yukhei drop. Jungkook certainly doesn’t mind. As you swirl your tongue around his tip and reach up with your free hand to fondle at his balls, his long hair falls into his lashes but he still tries to find you past his wild locks, hooded eyes gazing down at you.  

“Ah, shit━” Jungkook hisses delightfully, hips jerking forward instinctively into your mouth. The faintest hints of a drowsy smirk tug at his lips. “Fuck, yes, just like that.”

Yeah, you think to yourself then, you’re definitely going to ride him later. Screw going to class.

From: Jungkook Sent: 1:05 a.m.

bro i noticed u werent wearing our friendship bracelet while u were giving me head earlier. is everything ok??

You wake in the morning to a single text from Jungkook ━ and one you had not been expecting.

That’s not to say that getting the occasional text message from Jungkook at any and all hours of the day was abnormal, but the extent of his messages sent anywhere past midnight usually always range from something more coherent in the form of “what would u do if i was there rn?” to something exuding typical lazy Jungkook manner with a simple “dtf?” or “send noods lol” to something even more provocatively cryptic such as the eggplant and splashing water (or, as far as Jungkook is concerned, something else entirely) emojis and nothing else, left open for your own interpretation that typically, usually, without a doubt, results in you in his bed and his dick in you. But this seems to be something else entirely.

Unfortunately, Jungkook’s text isn’t the only concern of yours.

Hoseok has spent the better part of the morning giving you a lecture on why having sex with your best friend is bad. He seems so passionate about the topic that you’re certain he would have pulled out a powerpoint at any moment, each slide ending in a picture of Yukhei and why you should maybe try fucking him instead, if you entertained the idea a little longer. Hoseok claims it’s just a harmless date. Yukhei might be a nice boy, but you don’t know how you feel about him. You don’t want to lead him on, and a scary thought points out the fact that maybe, while Yukhei is a nice boy, he isn’t Jungkook.

“I don’t get why you don’t just give Yukhei a chance━” Hoseok is saying now, sat on the couch in your shared apartment with him. “It’s not like you have to marry him. I don’t think one date will hurt━ Aaand, you’re not even listening to me anymore, are you?”

The sheepish look on your face is enough of an answer for him. You’ve been anxiously eyeing your phone and the text Jungkook had sent you last that you’ve yet to respond to, even despite being awake for more than a few hours now.

“Yes, I am listening,” You say dismissively. “Something about how one date won’t hurt, but that’s what you said when Yoongi asked you out, and you’re literally engaged now.”

The glistening metallic ring on Hoseok’s finger is evidence enough. The boy looks down at it as if seeing it for the first time, purses his lips, and then nods in agreement. “Okay, yeah, maybe you’re right. But you’re holding out for Jungkook and for what? He’s hot, yeah, and he’s your best friend, sure, but at the end of the day he’s still just a horny male who wants to stick his dick in anything that moves.”

“Hoseok.” Your grumbling sigh is interrupted by the motion of your phone vibrating against your thigh once more. You peek at the screen fleetingly to see a new text.

From: Jungkook Sent: 2:35 p.m.

send n00ds?

miss ur tits :(

Typical Jungkook.

The text from the night before is all but seemingly forgotten from his mind, and you can’t quite tell if you’re devastated or relieved. You don’t have very long to discern which emotion you’re feeling when Hoseok snatches your phone to look at what’s gotten your attention before exclaiming suddenly, “Aha! See! What did I say?”

“It’s not like that,” You wave Hoseok off. “Jungkook treats me well. He respects me, and I’m comfortable with him.”

“And how long until whatever this is━” He gestures vaguely to your phone as if to point out your relationship with Jungkook, “has to end? Do you really think a pinky promise is going to make sure your friendship with him isn’t totally ruined? I mean, how can you continue being casual friends with someone, see them dating someone else, when they’ve had their dick in you?”

You know it makes sense. Realistically, you either stop sleeping with each other or it potentially develops into something more. But in both circumstances, what were the chances that either of you didn’t get your heart broken? Maybe a part of you was apprehensive of Jungkook finding the “right” person for him one day that has him ending things with you, and while you swear you’d be happy for him, relationships sometimes have a way of distracting people from those already around them. Were you prepared to have someone take him away from you, platonically and whatever it is else that you have with him? Did you really think you could just keep being friends with him, as if nothing ever occurred between you two?

You don’t think Jungkook is bothered worrying about the state of your friendship with him, much less overthinking it like you seem to be. It shouldn’t be a big deal ━ yet why was there still that terrible nagging voice in the back of your mind? Whether or not Hoseok is right, you don’t want to find out. You don’t have feelings for Jungkook anyway.

But your ability to bend at his every will is certainly interesting.

You grab your phone before Hoseok can do any serious damage like unlocking it and responding to Jungkook, clutching it to your chest as you start to cross the living room. The other boy looks at you in bewilderment. “Where are you going now?”

“Where does it look?” You call over your shoulder just before you disappear into the bathroom, and Hoseok deduces all at once that you’re truly a lost cause. “I need to send him a picture of my boobs.”

“He’s totally into you, Y/N.”

Admittedly, there were many mundane but essentially weird things you’ve talked to Jungkook about while having sex. You’ve had many heated debates about everything under the sun from whether or not pineapple on pizza should be illegal to top five betrayals in either movies or animes, to passionate grand philosophical discussions about what exists outside of the universe.

It’s not as if you had been planning on talking about Yukhei to Jungkook when he had invited you over to his apartment late at night after sending your risqué boob picture to him but, like many things in your friendship with Jungkook, it sort of just happened. He had asked you how your day was and you had decided to broach the topic experimentally, though you think deep down you’re doing it on purpose to see if he’d react in any way. What started with you mentioning Hoseok’s adamance and you sort of genuinely asking Jungkook for advice on Yukhei somehow evolved into Jungkook interrogating you on whether or not you’ve hung out with him yet.

“Jungkook. You’re getting off topic,” You admonish him now, as if your own choice of topic is any better when his dick is currently in you.

Jungkook is wedged between your thighs smushed up against your chest, large palms holding you on your ribcage in place beneath him. He’s a comfortable heavy draped over top of you, cock stretching you wide. You can feel his heart hammering against yours and he’s slick with sweat, golden hair clinging to his forehead and in his pretty eyes. You resist the urge to reach out and brush the messy locks away but, again, how would that be any less intimate of an action than what you’re already doing? Another line uncrossed, you suppose.

“How am I off topic?” Jungkook retorts. “You literally just said you can’t tell if he’s into you but he dropped by when you were done class and bought you lunch. You don’t just do that for a girl you don’t care that much about.”

“You buy me lunch, like, every day,” You point out.

“Because you’re my best friend. Of course I care about you,” Jungkook says.

“Ah, Jungkook━” You curse suddenly, grabbing his attention when you shift your weight beneath him. “You’re crushing me. Why’d you stop moving?”

He doesn’t have an answer, if only because he hadn’t even realized he’d stop moving in the first place. Without hesitation, he continues leisurely rutting his hips against yours, grabbing at one of your legs to hook it around his waist. This new angle lets you feel even more of him as he sinks further into you, if that was even still possible, reaching so far into you that you swear it’s like you can feel him in your stomach. Your head lolls back against the pillows, pure euphoria contorting your face so much so to the point that it distracts you entirely from the distant look glazing over Jungkook’s eyes.

“Yukhei definitely wants to bang,” he huffs under his breath.

At once, an exasperated groan fills his ears.

“I can’t believe we’re seriously having this conversation right now,” You roll your eyes, fingers prodding at his sides. “I don’t wanna talk about Yukhei potentially wanting to have sex with me.”

Jungkook’s glad you said it, at least. Though now he’s watching you with hooded eyes as he thrusts into you a little harder, maybe a little intentionally. His indulgent gaze droops to your breasts, admiring the way they bounce beneath him each time his hips make contact with yours. He thinks back earlier in the day to the picture you had sent him which, really, had sparked the mood for the rest of the night.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he whines abruptly. His eyes screw shut and brows furrow together as your walls clench around him. He drops his head to bury his face in your chest, lips momentarily wrapping around one of your nipples as he sucks harshly at the soft flesh. When he speaks next, forehead still resting against your collarbones, his voice is a breathless croak, “Well, do you like him?”

“No,” You moan. “Maybe━ Fuck, Koo━ I don’t know.”

“He’s gonna be at that party Tae’s throwing, isn’t he?” Jungkook tries to focus, but it’s becoming increasingly harder to do so when he’s inching closer and closer to his high. “Shit, ah, Y/N━ Why don’t you try talking to him or something? See how the night goes?”

“He’s nice but I don’t think he’s the one for me,” You admit sheepishly. “I think I’m just gonna end things while I still can, with as little harm as possible.”

“Well, glad that’s settled,” Jungkook mumbles. “Can we please stop talking about Yukhei now?”

You seem to miss the way he clings to you a little tighter, hands flying down to grip at your hips, nails digging crescent moon shapes into your skin. He snaps his hips into yours a little faster this time, your pussy throbbing around him.

“Nngh, Jungkook━”

Your hands fumble to grip at his hair, tugging tightly at the roots and earning a delightful hiss from the boy. Your own mouth drops open in a silent moan and it’s a wonder he doesn’t combust at just how sexy the sight is. He hates how his eyes stay trained on the shape of your lips, the soft plumpness of them. He’s felt them wrapped around his dick plenty of times before but he concedes that it’s probably hardly anywhere near to how it would feel to kiss you. Like actually kiss you, tongue and all.

God, what’d he give just to smother your lips with his.

And, god, he hopes you never find out. He’s positive that thought is far more scandalous alone than anything you’ve ever done together.

You’re writhing beneath him now, hips jutting forward desperately to meet his. “I’m gonna cum, Jungkook━”

“Fuck, yes,” Jungkook growls. “Wanna feel you cream around my cock so bad. Come on, baby━”

In the heat of the moment, you seem to miss the pet name that slurs off his tongue and the sentiment in it. A few more jolting slams of his hips and you’re tumbling over the edge. He has to sputter for air when he feels your pussy wrapping so tightly around him, stuttering in his pace above you if only to watch as you unravel beneath him. Hooded dark eyes glazed over in that perfect fucked out expression he loves so much, teeth biting at your lower lip so hard he wonders if it’ll bruise in the morning.

A sudden thought pops into his head when you’ve settled enough, amongst the blinding pure white of bliss that clouds his thoughts. “Did you get my text by the way? The one I sent last night?”

You gasp for air. The bracelet on your wrist itches at the mention of it, and you’re fortunate you decided to wear it that afternoon before coming to Jungkook’s. “Y-Yeah━”

“Well…?”

“Everything’s fine,” You say this as dismissively as you can. Your core is still vibrating after the harsh impact of your orgasm paired with Jungkook’s swollen length still in you. “I just… I was taking a shower and didn’t want to get it wet. I forgot to put it back on in the morning.”

That’s a lie. You had mostly taken it off as part of an experiment, though it hasn’t answered much. At least Jungkook doesn’t seem to realize that.

“Oh,” Jungkook breathes. A beat of silence passes, before he deadpans cockily, “Wait, you were taking a shower and I wasn’t invited?”

“Oh my god, shut up━” Maybe if he hadn’t just currently driven you to nirvana and back, you’d notice the way the sloppy grin on his face is a simple taunt. But you’re much too distracted to care. Instead, you use your leg that’s still hooked around his waist to gently push and roll him onto his back so that you can straddle his hips. His eyes sparkle mischievously as he watches you waste no time in hurrying to grind against him at an agonizingly steady pace that makes his head spin. “You’re ruining the moment. I’m trying to make you cum.”

A devious cackle rumbles from his chest, albeit a little contented at the same time. Yeah, he definitely likes the sound of that. “Well then, by all means, don’t let me stop you.”

It’s only then that his question comes back into your mind. If he felt the need to ask you again about the bracelet, maybe that meant something after all. At the very least, it means he hadn’t forgotten about it altogether. On the other hand, you wonder how often he had spent thinking, or over-thinking, the issue in the past twenty-four hours, if at all.

Was it wrong to feel some semblance of joy over that potential fact? Probably.

That doesn’t seem to bother you much this time. Not when he’s gazing up at you as if you’re some divine sexy goddess, all his to enjoy. You can’t help yourself; you reach down to brush the sweaty hair from his eyes, perhaps all too gentle of an action for best friends.

And he smiles, maybe a little too softly and maybe a little too ardently if you look close enough.

He smiles.

The thing about your supposed “rules” with your relationship with Jungkook is that there might be a few loose ends that neither you nor Jungkook pay much attention to sometimes.

But that’s neither here nor there.

Mostly, the “no public displays of affection” clause is easily disregardable. It’s typically when you’re too drunk to remember it and a bit needy, craving one another’s touch, but those around you never truly seem to care or even notice because, if you’re lucky, they’re equally as smashed. Sometimes the “no cuddles” clause blurs into a gray area where it’s simply just you and Jungkook post-sex, sprawled out in his bed, not necessarily wrapped up in one another’s arms and cooing sweet nothings to one another but giggling at nothing in particular except one another as you bask in each other’s company and nothing more. You suppose some rules are meant to be broken.

For the most part, Jungkook never seems to question the no kissing rule you were so adamant in insisting. Not until one night in which you’re left wondering where things go so drastically wrong. It starts off as normally as any other day with you and Jungkook can, spent in his apartment binge watching movies. You hadn’t expected that night to switch as suddenly as it does when Jungkook shoots you a text earlier in the day asking if you want to come to his for a night of casual drinking as simply “best friends.” But, as always, one thing seems to lead to another, and you can’t get enough of Jungkook. Maybe it’s in the way he holds you a little tighter, the way he tugs you onto his lap on the sofa in his living room, the way he grips your thighs with a certain type of insatiable desire.

“You know…” he hums. “You drive me insane. In, like, the best way possible.”

Part of you realizes his actions even without him seeming to, and the drunken smile on your face remaining frozen in place, a little dumbfounded. “Jungkook…”

“When I’m with you…” He lifts his stare to look at you, but you have nothing to say. Neither does he. Instead, you’re left grinning at one another and suddenly your face is warm. He leans towards you, his nose nuzzling against the side of your throat. Your hands stay threaded in his hair now, and he swears he feels you secure your grip as if to pull him closer.

You can feel his lips brush faintly against your skin, grazing along your neck to the underside of your jaw. Up, up, up, until━

It’s just as his mouth meets with the corner of yours that you register what he’s doing, even in your clouded state. You turn your head just in time, and he comes to an immediate halt, his lips barely making contact with your cheek instead before he pulls away. He doesn’t move very far but you also don’t push him away just yet. Instead, you shift your head to look at him, still inches apart from him.

“What are you doing?” You ask. He can’t quite tell if you’re appalled or not, an empty expression staring back at him.

“I━ You━” He fumbles over his words, squeezes his eyes shut. He blames it on the alcohol even though his head is swimming with thoughts that seem to only concern you. But then a fierceness seems to stir within him, one that makes his jaw clench as he meets your stunned stare. The question rolls off his tongue without meaning to. “Is this about Yukhei?”

“What?”

“Is that why you weren’t wearing our bracelet the other day?”

The question is so ridiculous, you have to laugh. “What are you going on about?”

But Jungkook doesn’t see what’s so funny and so he tries again, his persistence taking hold. “Is that why you won’t ever let me kiss you?”

You blink. Then, you’re shaking your head at him. Exasperation hangs heavy in your words, shaping in the form of a tired scoff. “You’re not serious.”

You’ve slithered off of his lap before he can even think to stop you ━ but if he had, would you have even stayed? You’re mad, but he doesn’t know why. “No, I wanna know. Because if what we have is already so meaningless, what makes a kiss any different?”

“Jungkook…”

“So I wanna know,” he says, brows unconsciously knitting together. His gaze is searching yours desperately, as if begging for an answer he’ll want to hear. But he knows he’s being an idiot, a small sober part in him makes him realize that. “Humour me. Have you had sex with him yet?”

“Oh my god. I can’t believe that’s what you’re on about.” Suddenly, you’re frowning. Your hardened stare meets the boy’s and the irritation that scrunches at your face makes him wince, but it’s too late for him to take back the damage that he’s done. “Yeah, Jungkook, we fucked in his stupid Toyota that you hate so much and he choked me and I liked it. He did all sorts of dirty things to me. Is that what you want to hear?” The sardonic tone hisses at his ears, but he bites back his words, the sober part in him doing some decent good by shushing him. “No, Jungkook, we didn’t fuck. We haven’t even gone on a date, and I don’t even know if I want to, and you think I’m throwing myself at him.”

“But you wanna.”

“You’re being an idiot,” You admonish. “I’m going home. Talk to me when you’re sober.”

He has just enough time to watch you turn on your heel, march towards his door, when he scrambles to his feet. The weight of his words and actions finally seem to dawn on him, hitting him harshly in the face and in the heart.

“Fuck, wait! Wait━” he gasps.

He chases after you, hand reaching out to press his palm against the door before you can shimmy it open. He’s fortunate when you turn to look at him, though your arms are folded impatiently over your chest.

“You’re right. I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you mad,” he promises earnestly. Then, he lets out a frustrated groan. “I just… What if we… Shit, what if we stop for right now? Y’know… Hooking up. Whatever this is.”

He gestures vaguely between the two of you with his hands, a wearied look plastering his face.

You hate to admit how his words seem to affect you. They bite at the air, leave you breathless as you gawk at him, but the harsh realization of it all is that you were never his to have and he was never yours. Hoseok had been right when he said these things were bound to come to an end ━ so why did it seem to hurt you so much?

A beat of prolonged silence passes between the two of you. Jungkook runs a hand through his chaotic blonde hair, digging the heel of his palm into his temple as if to rid himself of a headache he’s no doubt sporting. Maybe you’re waiting for a better explanation, but he gives none, and you don’t feel as if you have the right to ask why. He’s not your boyfriend, for god’s sake. It’s not like he’s breaking your heart.

Instead, you take a deep breath and say, “Okay.”

“Okay.” It’s all that he says in return.

So then why does it feel like he is?

When Jungkook had promised that if your fling with him ended you would go back to being untainted best friends, he was apparently lying.

A part of you can’t believe the sheer nerve of him to ghost you in his traditional fuckboy ways, and yet he does. You suppose not entirely, at the very least. Part of it ends up with you being even more vexed by his sudden shift in emotion, and the tangible tension that rises between the two of you should have been dealt with properly, yet neither of you do anything about it, leaving your friendship stagnant and stale for a week. After all, how are you really supposed to go back to “just friends” when you’ve seen his dick one too many times?

You refrain from telling Hoseok, if only so you don’t have to hear him tell you he told you so ━ but you also decide to give Yukhei that one chance, and so you think Hoseok wouldn’t mind so much anyway.

Admittedly, when Yukhei asks to hang with you at Taehyung’s eventual party, you aren’t entirely too keen, but you accept it if only because you heard Jungkook will be there too. For the majority of the night, you don’t see the boy, and you spend the hours cozying up with Yukhei in a conversation that dulls you. As it would appear, it seems to bore Yukhei too, but you only notice that when he starts touching you on your waist and the small of your back. There’s a moment where he leans his head close enough to yours that you realize he’s trying to kiss you, resulting in an awkward encounter in which you push him away, palms on his chest.

“What’s wrong?” he asks. The answer is obvious enough to you, but you don’t think you should tell him for his own dignity. That, instead, all you can imagine is Jungkook in his place. “Should we get out of here?”

“Y/N. Can I talk to you?”

You’re both fortunate yet horrified when you hear Jungkook’s voice. He’s standing just behind you, his own stare devoid of any emotion, though his brows furrow and his jaw clenches in a signature Jungkook manner that you know means he’s pissed. He hardly acknowledges Yukhei, nodding in his general direction. You don’t remember if you leave Yukhei there or if he leaves, or if Jungkook even gives a poor attempt of an excuse to the boy, but you’ve not so much as uttered a single word or let out an exhalation of air, when Jungkook ultimately pulls you off to the side where it’s just you and him once more.

“I’m not sucking your dick in Tae’s grimy bathroom, if that’s what you want,” You scowl once Yukhei is out of earshot. “You’ve lost the privilege that is my mouth.”

“That’s not━” Jungkook shakes his head, exasperated. “That’s not what I want. I just━ I’ll take you home. Please?”

You know the offer is much more than him simply walking you the route to your dorm, which you already know like the back of your hand. Yet, you don’t argue. Truthfully, it’s a relief when Jungkook lugs you out of the party. The entire venture back to your apartment is treacherous, in the way that you’re left sobering up enough to the point that your dizzying thoughts become more coherent. Hoseok is gone for the weekend at least, spending the days with his fiance, so you don’t have to worry about humiliating yourself in front of your roommate when it comes to Jungkook.

You’ve barely made it through your front door when you’re grumbling aloud, “What do you want, Jungkook?”

“I wanna talk,” he says firmly. “About us. About Yukhei.”

“Maybe I don’t want to.” But that’s a lie. Talking to Jungkook, even despite masquerading your annoyance for him, is a blessing in disguise. You’ve missed the idiot, and hearing his voice. “Besides, you told me to give him a chance.”

“And you said you didn’t want to.”

“Maybe I changed my mind.”

“Yeah, you sure seemed like you loved it when he was trying to shove his tongue down your throat,” Jungkook retorts bitterly. “C’mon, Y/N. We both know that’s a lie.”

“You know, you’ve been a real dick lately.”

A sliver of a smirk tugs at Jungkook’s face. “I thought you love dick.”

Clearly, his poor attempt at a joke doesn’t land well with you. “Why do you even care so much if Yukhei and I get together? Stop acting so high and mighty and moral, Jungkook. It’s not like you’re some virgin saint. How many times have I heard you talk about all those girls you’ve fucked? And what was I? Just another notch in your belt this whole time?”

“What?” Jungkook gasps now, as if disbelieving you would ever think such a thing. “No! You’re not just another notch. I would never even think about you that way. And I haven’t had sex with anyone else but you this whole time and I easily could have.”

“Wow! Such a martyr,” You remark dryly. When you speak next, you meet his stare with your own crestfallen gaze. “I just want my best friend back.” Your words hurt him more than you think, but he can’t say he doesn’t deserve it. “You’re the one who tried to kiss me, then suggested we stop whatever it is we’re doing━”

Jungkook flinches. “I know.”

“Then you ignore me for days even though you promised nothing would change━”

“I know,” he says desperately. He closes the distance between the two of you, yearning to reach out and touch you. Instead, he clamps his eyes shut, trying with all his might to focus when the room feels like it’s spinning.

“And then you get mad when Yukhei tries to make a move. It’s like you’re jealous or something!”

“I am.” He can’t take it anymore. The words tumble from his lips in a rush that he hardly bothers to bite back.

“Why?”

“Because━ Because━” He struggles to form his thoughts into words, stumbling over his sentence. Fuck, he’s never like this. Even you can tell. He grits his teeth next. “I lean in to kiss you and you look at me as if I’m out of my mind. I just don’t get it. You don’t want me to kiss you but you let me put my dick in your ass.”

The taut line of your lip quivers as you break. “That was one time and you didn’t even get all the way in!”

“Y/N.” Jungkook hums now. He’s gazing at you a little softly, reaching out to place his hands on your waist. “Look, I know I’ve been an idiot. But lately, when I touch you, I fucking feel so alive and the thought of Yukhei doing anything with you when it isn’t me, who should be with you, makes me want to vomit. And when I wake up in the morning alone, I only want you next to me. And I can’t be the only one feeling that way. If I am, tell me. Right now. Please. I just wanna know why you won’t ever let me kiss you, but you let me do all sorts of things with you. Am I really that repulsive?”

Another moment of silence stifles the room. Jungkook is so close to you now, you can’t help yourself. You reach up to tug at the collar of his shirt, fingers twisting in the material as you lean your forehead out of frustration against his shoulder and he instinctively lets his arms slither around your waist, holding you to him. Then━

“No.”

“What?”

“I only made the rule because I don’t want you to kiss me unless you mean it,” You murmur into his chest. “Like really, really mean it. Like I’m more than just a notch in your belt. Because I want to kiss you so badly, and I’m already in love with you but then I’ll really be in love with you and I don’t want to get my heart broken.”

The anticipation kills you, awaiting his response. You refuse to lift your head, until you hear him grumble, “You’re so fucking stupid.”

“Me?”

The retort is filled with your typical jestering hostility as you finally look at him. But just as you do so, Jungkook’s reaching out to grasp at your face, rough hands all soft and gentle as they cradle your cheeks, guiding you towards him and smoothing his lips over yours until you melt like putty in his hands.

Kissing Jungkook, you deduce at once, is not at all how you imagined it.

It’s everything and more. You’ve felt his mouth on you before but in much different circumstances. Between your legs, on your throat, down past the valley of your breasts ━ and each kiss then had been feral, sloppy, rough. Now, it’s sweet and tender, the feeling of his lips as soft as how he makes your heart feel. And the butterflies━ god, the butterflies.

Impatient hands tug and pull at one another until you’ve both stumbled into your room and onto your bed. He’s clambered over top of you, lips struggling to not part throughout the whole ordeal, until he’s wedged himself between your thighs.

Only then does Jungkook part from you just enough in the next moment, lips brushing against yours, as he whispers ardently, “I mean it.”

Then he’s kissing the corner of your lips down to the underside of your jaw, his mouth grazing along your skin in a feathery touch. His hands help you shed your shirt, and the bra underneath. “I mean it when I kiss you here.”

Then he drops his head to your neck, kissing at the base of your throat, before nipping at it lightly. “And here.”

Your hands come to thread in his hair, tugging at the roots. He burrows his face lastly in your chest, snatching the nipple of one of your breasts between his teeth. “Here…”

You’re so soft and supple beneath his hands, all his to love and explore.

“I want you, all of you,” he mumbles. “Only you.”

“Oh, Koo…”

A pretty moan tumbles from your mouth, and he could nearly cry. He had surely thought you were far past the point of enraged, far past the point of pensive words shaped in a heartfelt apology to bring you back to him. But then hearing you rasp his name ━ the little cute nickname that only you call him ━ makes him so goddamn remorseful.

He smothers your lips with his once more, groaning into your mouth. “I’m such a fucking dick. I don’t deserve you.”

“Don’t say that,” You whine.

“I’m sorry,” he laments. He bites at your lower lip, suckling against it. “Please let me make it up to you.”

“You already have.”

“But I’ve been such a shitty friend,” he groans. It’s hard to focus when he’s pressing his hips against yours, the forming bulge in his pants straining against the inside of your thigh. “I should’ve known when to stop. I shouldn’t have even suggested the whole thing in the first place, because then I wouldn’t have messed us all up.”

“Jungkook,” Your grip tightens in his hair. “Jungkook━ I want you so bad. Just wanna be yours.”

“Yeah?” His breath is warm as it fans against your neck. You rub your core eagerly against him, throbbing pussy so close to making contact with his dick.

“Yeah,” You mewl.

“What do you want from me?”

“You. Wanna feel your dick in me, please,” Your fingers tug at the top of his jeans, prodding at the muscles on his abdomen. “In my mouth. Can make you feel better, Koo, I promise. Just wanna be your good girl.”

“Mmm, I like the sound of that.”

He lets you push him until he’s on his back and you’re straddling his hips. Your limbs entangle with his as you shed the rest of your clothes, your own hands wandering up and down the front of his body after he’s tossed his shirt onto the floor. Then he watches as you shimmy your way down his body. You’re so zealous in pleasing him, wrapping your hand around the base of his dick, head angry and red, dribbling pearly beads of precum down the shaft and over the bulging vein that lines it. You run your thumb over the tip and down, spreading the sticky fluid over him. He grunts in response, nearly jolting at your touch, as his head drops back against his shoulders.

“Oh, fuck,” he growls.

You pump him slowly, taking you time as your closed fist glides up and down his length. He shudders each time your hand reaches the base, and becomes so carried away with your leisure teasing that his eyes are screwed shut and misses the way you dip down to kiss at the tip of his cock. His eyes immediately flutter open, a flustered expression painting his face. You lap again at the head, saltiness coating your tongue, and you let out a simpering moan that has him quivering. And when you wrap your mouth entirely around his cock, sinking down along his length, he swears he’s about to fall apart. Your eyes flicker upward to meet him and the moment they lock, so sexy and dark, he has to look away for fear of busting right then and there. He reclines back against the bed once more, his hand flying out to grab at your hair.

“You’re so good to me, baby,” he rasps.

He can feel the curve of your lips against his cock as you suck him off. You do so well, too. Puffing your cheeks out, taking as much of him as you can until it feels as if he’s hitting the back of your throat. Then, you’ll suck at the tip of his cock, tongue swirling rapidly around, as your fist rubs his shaft. It’s a beautiful mix, one that inches him closer and closer to his high, and each time you switch he has to hold it together to not let go so soon. He wants to enjoy it, needs to bask in it. Your pretty mouth doing such sinful things, making him feel as if he were in heaven.

“Shit━” His hips jut forward to meet with your mouth, accidentally hitting the back of your throat without warning. You gag a little, but don’t pull away, and when he apologizes to you hastily, you only moan in response. A thought pops into his head that has him beckon aloud, “Will you be a good girl and let me fuck your mouth? Huh, baby?”

You hum in approval, eyes shimmering with glee.

So, he plants both hands in your hair, grabs at the sides of your head, and as you hollow out your cheeks, he bucks into your mouth. He does it again and again, listening to your crescendoing mewls of delight, forming a sticky mess of drool and cum that spills onto your chin.

“God, you’re so good,” Jungkook grunts. He’s a complete wreck, eyes screwing shut, blonde tresses spilling into his lashes. The muscles in his abdomen twitch with each sharp inhale of air he takes, so mesmerized by the shape of your pretty mouth around his dick, like you were made for him. “Such a good girl, huh?”

He fucks himself into your mouth roughly, frantically. Tears start to prick at your eyes from holding your breath, yet you keep yourself together just a little longer for him, lashes fluttering shut tightly.

“All mine too,” Jungkook hisses. “Wouldn’t let Yukhei do this to you, would you? Fuck, I’m━”

With your head left immobile stuck in his grasp, you hum in disapproval instead. You know he’s close when you start to hear him panting breathily. When he cums, it’s with a fractured whine and in short hot bursts onto your tongue and down your throat. You swallow as much as you can and, when he parts from you with a resonating lewd pop, you wipe away with your knuckles at the rest of his cum leaking out of the corner of your mouth and onto your chin. Dark hooded eyes meet with yours, a mischievous glint captivating them. You crawl over to him, straddling his hips once more, chasing his mouth with yours. Your own lips are so wet, coated in saliva and cum, bruised plump, but yet you’re smiling so innocently past the way he can taste himself on his tongue.

A dazed thought pops into your head that has you murmuring wistfully against him, “Say it again. I like hearing you call me baby.”

“Hmm? What about when I call you my good girl?” Jungkook nips at your lips. He grasps at your waist, flipping you over until you’re on your back beneath him. “You treat me so well, baby; you’re my only girl, you know that.”

A contented sigh sounds from you as you rut your hips in thinning desperation to meet his, so close to rubbing against his dick nestled against his thigh. He licks at his fingers hastily, reaching between the two of you to press against your clit, rubbing leisurely at the soft bundle of nerves. He’s learned how to navigate your body after months of supposed emotionless fucking, but now? Now, he felt as if his heart may just burst through his chest. Every reaction you make to his every touch ━ the needy plea to have him make you his, call you baby ━ makes him want to see more, and more.

“Am I?” You ask hoarsely. He grasps at his dick, guiding his tip to your core, so slick and wet, glistening with your own arousal. As he pushes himself in with a hiss, he watches as you contort beneath him. “Nnngh, Jungkook━”

“Fuuck,” he groans. He sinks into you, spreading your thighs further and further apart, until his hips make contact with yours. His mouth attacks yours with a feverish passion, the rumble of his moans and your whimpers muffling against one another. Then, he remembers to answer your awaiting question, barely audible between the way his tongue lavs at yours. “You are. I’m so fucking in love with you. But I don’t deserve you.”

Your hands tug impatiently at his hair. “Stop saying that.”

“But it’s true,” he hums. He’s quick to start rutting at your hips in a steady yet agonizing pace, dick burrowing into your pussy as your walls throb and shake. He can’t help but watch, mesmerized as always by the way his length slips past your folds and disappears into you. Again, and again, and again, so lewdly destroying your pretty cunt. “Just want Yukhei to touch you all over instead, don’t you?”

“No,” You croak.

You spread your thighs instinctively wider apart, allowing him to sink even further into you until it feels as if he’s hitting you so far in your stomach. Each roll of his hips is punctuated by the crude noise of skin against skin, sending you spiralling.

“Want him to do all sorts of dirty things to you, huh?”

“N-No. Fuck, Jungkook━ Harder, please━”

“That’s what you said,” Jungkook retorts. Still, he listens to your pleas, snapping his hips into yours roughly enough to send you jolting back on the bed. His hands start to roam your body, pinching at your hips, then grasping ferociously at one of your breasts. “Want him to fuck you in his car, right?” His palm feels like fire as it slides up past your collarbones to your throat. “Want him to choke you.”

His hand comes to wrap around the underside of your jaw on your throat, thumb and index finger pressing against the pressure points there. He squeezes, though with barely any force, just enough to feel your rapid pulse beneath his digits in a way that makes you so suddenly hyper aware of everything he’s doing to you. Cock stretching you wide, palm heavy around your throat, mouth folding over yours. So caught up in the overwhelming sensations you’re feeling, you can’t tell if he’s genuinely upset with himself, though you suspect part of him is. You can sense it in the way he clings to you a little tighter, can see it laced within his dazzling pupils.

Jungkook huffs, hair flopping into his eyes as he grits his teeth and ruts his hips faster into you if only to see more of your pretty little reactions. Your jaw unhinges at the feeling, head falling back onto the pillows. “He could probably treat you nicer too.”

You shake your head wildly, fingers digging into the skin on his shoulders. “Just want you, Koo.”

“Still?” he asks. His grip on your neck fastens a little more, pure euphoria riddling all your senses and making you writhe beneath him. “God, you’re such a dumb little slut, aren’t you?”

You nod in your groggy exhaustion, the familiar burn coiling in your stomach, making your toes curl.

Jungkook feels your own high approach. Your walls are clenched so tightly around him, he has to sputter for air. “Could he make you feel like this?”

“No, Koo,” You whine. “Only you.”

“Yeah?” Jungkook growls. “Good girl. Gonna cum around my dick like the good little slut you are?”

Your hips ricochet upwards to meet his, relentless pounding into your core. “Please, please━”

Jungkook quickens his pace until you’ve deteriorated into absolute shambles, whimpering his name after each thrust. You tumble towards your high, cuming around his length as he burrows it into you again and again, and all he can think is mine, mine, mine. As you unravel beneath him, he slides his hand off of your throat and slithers it underneath you and around your waist, hoisting you slightly enough off the bed so that he can reach his own orgasm. He’s a little more frantic now, sloppy and restless as he pummels into you.

“Shit, baby━” he cries out. “Oh, fuck, you’re so good━”

As you come down from your high enough, you somehow manage to murmur drowsily, “Cum in me, Koo. Wanna feel it.”

You grab at his face, pulling him down to catch his lips on yours, and the thought is so tempting he can’t refuse. He gets so lost in your lips, cuming with one final slam of his hips into yours and a chorus of curses mingling with your name in whimpers. He rides out both of your highs with a few half-hearted thrusts, more concerned with kissing you in useless open-mouthed kisses as your own mouth parts with one last weary moan while he fills you up.

When he’s spent, he collapses against your chest, and you collapse onto the bed. It’s quiet long enough for the both of you to calm the shrill beat of your hearts when you feel Jungkook stir, moving to part from you, pulling his dick from your swollen pussy and planting a lingering peck on your cheek. He disappears momentarily but returns a few seconds later, towel in hand which he uses to wipe at your core now leaking with his cum and your heart croons at all his tender touches.

It makes you realize all at once that, god, yes, you’re so in love with your idiot best friend and he’s so in love with you.

“Jungkook.”

He turns to look at you, an adoring smile dancing upon his lips when he sees your own radiant beaming face. You beckon him over and he relents, letting you pull him into your arms. He nuzzles his face in the crook of your neck as he wraps his own arms around you to tug you closer to his side. As your fingers come to rake through his sweaty hair, he cranes his neck to follow your hand and hear him coo against your neck, “That feels so good.”

A sudden thought crosses your mind that has you smirking smally to yourself. “Are we… Are we cuddling? Jungkook, I thought you didn’t like cuddling. Said it was, and I quote, sentimental bullshit.”

“I never liked it because it wasn’t with you. Didn’t wanna waste my time on someone that wasn’t you,” Jungkook hums, matter-of-fact. You can tell he’s a little embarrassed at the way you so casually taunt him about such an obvious fact, though he’s fortunate you can’t see him smiling like a complete fool. “And I wanna do all that sentimental bullshit with only you. Now, shush━” He scolds you playfully. “M’so tired and I just wanna hold you tight.”

“Can’t argue with that.” Your heart leaps in your chest. “Just promise me one thing?”

It’s only then that he lifts his sleepy gaze to find yours, apprehensive of any potentially looming severity in your words. “Anything.”

Instead, all he can find is the way you trace your finger along the details of his face, from his nose, to his cheekbones, down to the freckle under his lip with the hand that sports your friendship bracelet. “In the morning, when we wake up, you’ll still be here to hold me tight. And every other morning after that.”

His smile widens even more, if that was even possible. “Wouldn’t want it any other way. But━”

“But?”

“On one condition.”

“What’s that?”

His eyes sparkle cheekily. “Kiss me.”

So, you do, again and again and again; and Jungkook thinks, yeah, he certainly can get used to this.

It takes you a month to cave in to Jungkook’s incessant pleas to fuck you to his sex playlist. You do it mostly to humour him, though part of you is a little bit intrigued at the thought.

Stowed away in his room, he eats you out to the choruses of sultry The Weeknd and raunchy Ariana Grande songs, fucks you to the likes of the Neighbourhood and Kim Petras while you’re on all fours, and you’re only half-paying attention to the music until you hear it. Admittedly, you almost completely miss it but you blame Jungkook and the way he’s making you currently feel, sprawled out beneath him, chests pressed flush against one another in a sweaty, sticky mess, breathy and glorious moans of your name filling your ears when━

“I had no choice but to hear you. You stated your case time and again━”

The dulcet chime of Alanis Morissette thrums about the room, a complete and utter shift in contrast in the atmosphere that has you immediately pausing.

“Jungkook.” But he knows what you set out to say even before you do, judging by the tone in your voice and the stifling smirk on his face. You gawk at him, biting at your lip to hide your laughter but you fail miserably. “You weren’t joking?”

He shrugs innocently, leaving you just as dumbfounded as you were two seconds ago. Instead, he says, “Gotta do what I promised then, don’t I?”

You quirk a brow. “What was that exactly?”

“Gotta give you the best orgasm of your life.”

“If you can do that to cheesy 90s pop, I’ll have your actual babies, Jungkook.” The effort is endearing and impressive, to say the least.

A roll of your eyes is met with a taunting roll of his hips into yours that wipes the jest off your face immediately. He grins like a madman, uttering a little stupidly, and a little ardently, “Say no more.”

Because, all things considered and joking aside, he wants it with you ━ the dazed daydreamy talk of a future together and kids, friendship bracelets, and cuddles in the morning. Because you mean the world to him and more. Because you’re his best friend, and he’s so madly in love with you.

Because he wants it all with you.

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