#and i met up with my friend which was nice but now I'm two stupidly expensive cocktails deep

[yousaytomato]

Trying my hardest not to be anxious and sad about things that have already happened and that I can't do anything about now. But How

[hotforharrison]

My ex-husband visited last night to have some time together as friends, and we spent a couple hours watching a show about sunken ships on Disney+ and had dinner together.

It was nice.

I admitted to him how much I missed him and that I genuinely appreciated him seeing me, even if it was on different terms than we used to have.

He cuddled me on the sofa for a while, and he let me cry all the tears seeing him again brought out of me.

We talked about very hard things for me to talk about, while I cried more than I thought I would, and we're going to go to the courthouse to file the paperwork to legally start the divorce this coming week.

He had some overtime this last paycheck, so it won't be a problem to pay for the (stupidly expensive) court costs.

We've been separated for almost two months now. He's moved out, and nothing else will change because of some paperwork, but it's somehow different dissolving our bond legally.

When I was finishing up cleaning his former room to turn it into my own space, completely devoid of his things, I found the ring he wore when we got married, the temporary one I got for less than $20 at Walmart in 2010. I didn't know he kept it for all these years.

It fucking broke me for some reason, and I cried for so long at the discovery.

Even if it wasn't stupidly hot, I can't be in the master bedroom. It feels so wrong. There's no more "us," and the decor is different, but it still feels like "our" room. We shared it for over a decade.

Maybe that feeling will fade with time.

Right now, I can't bring myself to remove his stuff from the vanity or the shower, even though I know he's not coming back.

I'm not in denial. It's just hard to accept it, that this chapter of my life is ending, and I'm so fucking terrified. I've never been more hurt or scared in my life.

I've been spending most of my time in his former room that has the window AC unit, which I'm working on make into something that's as mine as possible with very, very minimal spending -- just using as much stuff that I already have as possible.

I might have to hit up a Goodwill or two to see if I can find some wall decor on the cheap. It's looking like I'm coming up short in that department, and it's so important to me to make the single room I'm spending extended periods of time in as homey and mine as possible.

I'm not painting it, at least not any time soon, because I'll be (hopefully) starting to work soon. The room will stay deep space blue for the time being.

It's not the worst color ever, just not very me.

But I'm not the same me I was before I met him all those years ago.

He's always going to be a part of me.

You don't spend 17 years with someone without that person becoming a permanent piece of you.

Maybe the blue is kind of like that -- that piece of him that stays with me while I'm starting down my own path without him by my side.

Anyway, in addition to trying to carve out my own space in his former room, which is a work in progress, I've been working on getting the kitchen cabinet trim ready to be painted before I paint the walls and the cabinets themselves.

There are four layers of paint on those cabinets. It's taking multiple applications of paint stripper to get it off so I can properly paint the trim, which is my first task.

I want to get the trim done and the new liners put in so I can put what I'm keeping into the cabinets again instead of being a huge mess in my former room. The mess is bothering me, just knowing it's there.

My goal is to get the kitchen completely done before July 18 -- the date of my next meeting with the vocational rehabilitation case manager so I can get a job. He called it the "planning" meeting, since I was accepted into the program.

I'm supposed to send him a résumé, and I'm like "...I haven't worked since early 2008, and my work experience was stocking shelves at Walmart."

My college education in IT is irrelevant because technology has changed so much since 2006 when I graduated.

I'll send him one, though.

Maybe there's some form or something I can plug my information into without putting in a ton of effort for the absolutely pointless résumé.

[kleenexwoman]

Ship it/Don't ship it:

Steve/Bucky

Steve/Tony

Steve/Peggy

Loki/Tony

Stucky

What made me ship it: Chris Evans and Sebastian Stan's longing glances and general chemistry. Before that, it was a side dirtybuthot ship. Taking away the inherent power imbalance really made it take off in general--people are very reluctant to ship hero/kid sidekick that openly right now--and it gave them a sense of shared history and interdependence that a Bucky who met Steve when he was bulked up wouldn't have.

What I like about it: I had a lot of crushes on my friends when I was a kid, and the idea that someone could have reciprocated that as deeply as Steve and Bucky is a nice one. It's really cozy to pair someone with their best friend growing up. And there's a lot to be said about someone who has seen you at your least appealing and still adores that version of you.

My unpopular opinion: Steve would never, ever have been the first one to make a move. He's aware that he's not a conventionally appealing partner, he sees Bucky as a brotherly type he has a guilty crush on, and he doesn't want to do the wrong thing and change things, so he's always going to repress the shit out of it until Bucky makes a clear move. I think Bucky's a lot more okay with his own feelings for Steve than Steve is with his feelings, and tbh I think Bucky sees Steve as a lot more--what are the kids calling it?--babygirl-coded. You know, when you want to act like you're someone's partner, but you're not actually together, so you just treat them kind of like it? And sometimes it can be toxic, or can be sweet and loving, depending on how self-aware you are and how well you deal with your feelings.

Steve/Tony

Why I got into it: It was one of the many, many ships surrounding Tony in the wake of the first wave of Marvel movies and before the Avengers movie. There wasn't that much good fic with Rhodey, I was the only person who liked Justin Hammer, everyone was writing Stony because they had been such good friends for so long in the comics. Nobody thought Joss was going to... Joss that.

What I like about it: JOSS WHEDON TOOK IT FROM ME. *deep breath* Okay. I like all the shit I liked before Avengers (2012) and their stupid bickering. I like the idea that Steve can help Tony get past his daddy issues by existing in the flesh as a person who stands in opposition to all the lies that Howard told Tony. And I like when Tony delights in introducing Steve to modernity and treats him to a lifestyle that boggles him. I like that they help each other heal from the past and understand the future. But I also like messy party monster Tony who can't keep it in his pants and enjoys going wild to relax and is one manic coke binge away from building a death ray, and I like clean-living, frugal Steve seeing the good in Tony past all of that.

My complicated opinion on it: My wife had this boyfriend who was a lapsed Catholic asshole. He had a lot of Catholic problems, like the whole guilt over feeling good about literally anything problem, and a stupidly rigid moral standard by which he would judge others without communicating it until he blew up about it, but he also had this whole transcendent artist's mystique that my wife really liked. He had a messiah complex, too. I mean, the people I know who thought, "Hmm, I wonder if I'm the second coming of Jesus", including myself, I could count on two hands. But this dude fucking externalized it, you know what I mean? And his girlfriend (not my wife, his live-in girlfriend) was this loud, sarcastic, ebullient bipolar alcoholic who was a lot of fun sometimes and just unstable as shit in general. She shipped Stony really hard and had framed pictures of Captain America and Iron Man as a diptych on her wall. It's hard for me not to think about them when I contemplate Stony long-term.

Steve and Peggy

1) I rarely ship the Hero and their Designated Love Interest. Often it doesn't matter, because the Love Interest is portrayed as episodic or incidental. It's really easy to ignore Napoleon Solo loving any girl, because they're all gone by the next episode. Peggy is not that. Peggy is a crucial part of Steve's MCU backstory. She shapes the world Steve wakes into. And he ultimately goes back to her at the end instead of staying with Bucky. I can't avoid Peggy and Steve; it is there, incontrovertible. I cannot discount it; I must ship around it, as it were.

2) Peggy is more than a person in Steve's mind. Peggy is The Girl Who Saw Him. She's like his mother, she's Not Like The Other Girls, she's Home and Country and Winged Victory and Steve's North Star--and oh fuck she's shooting at Steve because the blonde woman kissed him. Oof. I love that even Hayley Atwell figured they'd have massive house-shaking fights and Steve would have to leave to "go fishing" (this IS going to be something that happens in "Every Breath That I Held For You", btw). Likewise, Steve is Peggy's Ideal Man because to her, he is LITERALLY the Ideal Man. Because she's a crypto-fascist. I want them to be so, so unhappy together. I want Steve to feel trapped and to fuck other guys on the down-low and let Peggy whale on him for spilling her tea because he feels guilty for fucking the guys. Everyone assuming the fast-healing bruises are because he stopped a mugging. Y'know? Sometimes I really enjoy reading about people in terribly unhappy relationships, and I just like watching Captain America suffer in general. Endlessly, if possible.

With Bucky the suffering must have an end, and more intense suffering means I can imagine more intense comfort. But Cap must be tortured, mentally, emotionally, endlessly. It is a fight he can never win, the Captain, and the fact that he wins individual battles against foes only serves to obscure the reality of the endlessness of the oppressive systems that he labors inside of, that he ultimately defends. God, is that what they mean by "one must imagine Sisyphus happy"? Am I having a philosophical breakthrough here? I'm starting to understand why Batroc feels so sorry for Cap upon learning that they are but fictional.

3) There is a sense of symmetry to it, a feeling that Steve ended up right where he started. It's not, as the Russos intended, an evolution from selfless to selfish. Instead, it's the story of a person being taken from a body and a time that's small and slowly killing them, finding a new world, shaping that new world to fit them... And then coming right back home, better. It's Dorothy back from Oz, Sam back in the Shire. It feels like going back into the closet. It's a heterosexual narrative, upholding the status quo you escaped from. And there's a sense of meta-narrative closetedness about it because of the sudden change in the way the cast and crew addressed the Stucky vs. Peggy ships as Endgame approached, the storyline spurred on by Disney's corporate concerns.

Wanda is the vehicle by which this change occurs; the dreams she sends to each of the Avengers seems to not just spur their fears into action but also fundamentally change their priorities as people. Wanda, scarred by Tony's bombs, sends him back to his old coping mechanisms, which result in Ultron; Wanda, seeking comfort in the heteronormative sitcoms she watched, gives Steve a sense of longing for a heteronormative and idealized past. Wanda's magic comes from her emotions, from within, instead of Strange's technical and practiced magic--stripped of her science-fictional "probabililty-altering" backstory that made her unique in her original comic appearances, she's just another Disney magical girl, souring from sad princess to wicked witch. Shave your beards, move in on Main Street, learn to square dance, and wish upon a fucking star! Her mind-altering magic represents this algorithmic Disney influence, straightening out the gays and looping the war racketeers back into constant conflict. The Celluloid Closet meets Smedley Butler.

Anyway, I would ship it the normal way a little more if Peggy was actually Cynthia Glass, the Nazi spy, and she repented of her Nazi ways and then DIED about it.

Loki/Tony

Why I started shipping it: Peer pressure!Nah, just kidding, you convinced me :P

Why I like it: I love the idea that Tony thinks he's going to get into this complex, passionate battle of wits and hearts with a centuries-old being who can rival his intellect... and he's dating the developmental equivalent of a spoiled, brilliant, and rather bullied 19-year-old with Daddy issues. Loki can spend an entire month floating around in the pool drinking pina coladas and reading fluffy romance novels. He's not plotting anything, he's just chilling out.

Unpopular Opinion: I already said I like Tony best when he's a messy party monster trying to do good. I love the idea that he's trying to be responsible and clean up his life, but he's STILL dating a teenaged heir(ess) who nearly burns down the city with one good party. I like Loki when he's fucking around, too.

[nathank77]

3/20/24

9:57 p.m

So I've been scrambling trying to get my medical card. I had to get my therapist to contact the place cause I stupidly told them I have psychosis... and the verdict is they won't give me my card. I can go anywhere else in ct and just ommit it. So I called around got an appt.. I left a bad review at the place that discriminated against me bc now I'm labeled as a drooling lunatic..

I met with Mike and Erin texted me... Erin is a close personal friend of the owner of the business she was telling me indirectly that I should take down the review cause it hurts her relationship with this person... Erin is such an important piece to the Kristen Report and also big picture I don't want to damage Erin's relationship with the owner.. so I decided to take down the review.

I'm pissed cause I have been dehumanized, and labeled since getting psychosis. Blockade after blockade. I won't treat your insomnia and you can suffer with permanent black hairy tongue bc you won't go on antipsychotics.

I've been turned away from 4 separate providers including this medical marijuana place. I have been stigmatized. Which is why once the report is submitted and the investigation ends I guess I'll be truthful about having auditory hallucinations but then I'm going to make a miraculous recovery so my insomnia gets treated as a separate issue....

The fucked part is, I don't stigmatize myself. I don't see myself differently. I don't look at myself as psychotic. I see myself as an overly functional person, who suffers from auditory hallucinations. Mike even said you're functionality has so drastically improved from even before you got psychosis and I agree... that's what makes this stigma so fucked. I'm legit being dehumanized, stigmatized, and looked at as, "psychotic," just bc I have psychosis. And now I have to keep this label until the report is submitted and until the investigation gets completed so I can then be viewed as a normal human being again.

It's fucked that once the investigation ends I have to lie to be treated as human. I'm clenching my jaw I'm so mad about having to take down the review. I'm so mad about having to tell people I recovered to not be stigmatized, and dehumanized.

The problem isn't new medical providers, I can ommit it. I understand hippa.... but the issue is my doctor at prohealth mostly. So then she looks at insomnia as a separate issue... she treats me good but she wants me to go to a psychiatrist so badly so it isn't her problem and I can be forced on antipsychotics to get benzos to sleep... which is why I chose black hairy tongue. We will see what happens at that appt.

Anyways I wrote this whole review, for nothing. And I want to share it cause I'm clenching my jaw I'm so mad that I can't post it without potentially losing Erin's support and I really need it for Kristen. And in general. It's more about the big picture tbh...

Also mike brought up a very good point. I shouldn't get my card until after the investigation ends... as they may be able to see I'm a medical marijuana patient and therefore, they may not take my claim as seriously. So that's just another indirect way psychosis is putting a blockade in front of me...

Here is the review:

"To try to be brief, I talked to two people in this office they were both nice but I disclosed I had psychosis. They made me jump through hoops by forcing me to release my information. I agreed and had my therapist contact them.  This was a 3 week process for me. I did tell the owner I wouldn't submit a complaint but tbh I was completely discriminated against and stigmatized. Once my therapist talked to the owner, and I called they told me they don't feel comfortable letting me receive my card. To be brief, ptsd has auditory hallucinations, I suffer from only auditory hallucinations... PTSD is a qualified diagnosis to receive your card...

I jumped through hoops wasting my time just to be told they won't give me my card at the moment bc of psychosis. I disclosed my auditory hallucinations have been resolved and they still weren't willing to see me. She said I could be seen to buy CBD products through them. That's why I am seeking my medical card however I am on a fixed income and my card, removes taxes and beyond that bc I am on a fixed income I get a percentage off any items I buy at my dispensary. I explained this in great detail. I need the money saving options that having my card provides me with.

To conclude this review I wanted potential patients to know wholeheartedly, if you say the words psychosis or auditory hallucination, you will be inherently discriminated against. When I called back in feb, they should have told me there was no way they'd qualify me and I wouldn't have wasted all this time. So if you say those words fully expect to have your time wasted. I've faced so much discrimination from health care providers since admiting that I have auditory hallucinations. I've heard I won't treat you unless you take antipsychotics or I simply won't treat you at least 4 separate times from health care providers including this place.

Psychosis/auditory hallucinations marks you as a danger to society and marks you as being incoherent. All people including health care providers, treat you like you've lost your grip on reality.

If you say psychosis or auditory hallucination, you are therefore stigmatized.  So what I've learned from this is to occlude this from my information. I called many medical marijuana places following this and I already got an appt and I don't have to jump through a single hoop in order to get my card. Yet I'm positive if I brought up those words all of these other providers would also discriminate against me. So my best word of advice is either don't go here or occlude it, as with PTSD, auditory hallucinations is a symptom. For all I know since this was my only symptom it was a symptom of PTSD.

Either way, despite them being nice and jolly, I was truly discriminated against. I was also offered to pay for high quality CBD products from this place as if I would offer them money after I wasted 3 weeks jumping through hoops. Also as stated above I don't have to pay taxes and I get 10% off at my dispensary. I don't want high grade CBD. I just want to dose myself with 15mg a day and save money.

To sum this up, I'm sick of being stigmatized and discriminated against because of the simple fact that I had auditory hallucinations. This review may not be helpful to most people but if you're like me, they will tell you they won't help you. And I wanted to help other people like me by posting this as the stigma and discrimination people like me face from all people, especially health care professionals is really depressing in 2024 when at this point mental health awareness should be a thing. I told her I wasn't even going to buy THC and of course she didn't trust me. The place that qualified me last year before I started hallucinating is not liable for my auditory hallucination.. I would never take action against them legally or even blame them.

My point is,  there is a stigma against psychosis and auditory hallucinations and it's really depressing that this is the way I get treated by many medical professionals."

So yea this ends my rant. Now I got to sit with this feeling, I've been feeling it for a while but every time the blockade gets put in front of me, it makes me feel like people don't see me as human

It makes me feel like i am now a label. It makes me feel like I am viewed as an incoherent drooling lunatic who is officially, "psychotic."

Im not any of those things. The mental health stigma follows me and I can't wait to put this all behind me once I submit the report and the investigation ends. Even though- that part makes me mad too. I'm infuriated doctors won't look at anything ad a separate concern from psychosis.

Having to lie actually makes me just as mad. Maybe even more. Either way this is what it feels like to be labeled.

I'm trans for christ sake and that's a label. You get treated differently.... but- nothing can compare to being labeled at, "psychotic."

[missspringthyme]

February 19th, 2024

Forgot! To set! My alarm! Tomorrow morning I swear.

I did finally do all the laundry (3 loads!) so that's good. I'll have to vacuum tomorrow. The washing machine was in high demand for a Monday, I may have to switch my laundry day to combat this if it becomes a trend. The whole point was to avoid weekend wait times.

I didn't get groceries so I didn't eat breakfast, but instead I had one massive meal that's kept me full the entire day (a bowl of miso, a block of fried tofu, some rice with furikake, and cucumber). I feel like I finally understand Thanksgiving. While I was out in the kitchen making my bruninner (breakfast+lunch+dinner), Finnish roommate and two of her friends came in to have some cheesecake. One of which I had met before (stoner indian guy), but I hadn't met the other girl. They're all engineering students and it's exam season right now, so they're all suffering. I mostly just listened to the complain and occasionally chimed in with my own stuff.

I will admit, I'm feeling a little self conscious because I had a big flare up of congested pores around my mouth and my chin that I very stupidly picked at. Needless to say I'm not feeling at my most pretty. Ironically though, I feel like I've escaped a lot of the damage that could have been done to me by only developing problems with my skin as an adult. I feel like if I had acne in high school I wouldn't be able to leave my room without make up. Anyway, they gave me some cheesecake as well which was really nice. It tasted incredible as well, and I paired it with a mug of lavender tea.

I left to go to my first lab meeting, they're having members present their research to us and this first one was about body-brain rhythms. They're holding a conference on the topic this September in Italy and said if anyone wanted to volunteer to let them know. I 100% am, but set a reminder to email the guy tomorrow so I don't look too thirsty. I mean, I already was considering being in Italy before graduation. What could be more perfect? The presentation was interesting too, I'm considering going in person on Mondays so that I can have an excuse to go to campus (and be a little bit more of a well known face in the lab ;)), the only thing that I'm concerned about is that I essentially can either listen or look like I'm listening. At least on a zoom call I can do things off screen, so people don't really notice but in person stuff is always a fight to remain focused and awake. I ended up drawing this during the presentation, and all I could think about is that hopefully one day I have enough credibility that I could openly doodle during a meeting. It would genuinely help me so much. Ah well. For the sake of my career it's probably better I attend in person, look engaged, but have nothing stick in my head. How ironic.

The rest of the day I spent playing some sims, watching modern family, and hiding out with my phone on do not disturb. I'm trying to create some actual, intentional moments of space so I can properly recharge. I think things are slowly getting better, but also I have the feeling I'm not going to end up putting sheets on my bed tonight. What can you do.

[dream-a-little-bigger-darling000]

You'll Fit So Nicely You'll Keep Me Intact

Author's Note: Hello Hello! Not my GIF, please don't think it is, but it is my fic! I asked a few days ago if I should do Bane or touch-starved Tommy, and it was pretty clear I should do my sweet summer child Tommy boy. I just really think this big tough fighter needs to take a break and be held every once in awhile. And you can't tell me this man wouldn't have the sweetest moans. Fight me on it you can't. Please Please PLEASE reblog, like, or comment on this if you liked it. I live my day to day life craving validation.

If you absolutely hated it, also let me know! I admit I'm not the best at writing, and I'm willing to learn so I can feed my Tommy Conlon addiction. Ok, that's all, be fed!

2400+ words?! C'mon, that's gotta be enough to make you proud.

The whole fiasco was genuinely an accident.

The two of you, in his small cramped apartment, helping each other make dinner, because you couldn't remember whose turn it was, walking around each other like you had been doing it for years, because you had been.

You had been by Tommy for as long as you can remember, through those years where puberty slammed in the door and decked you directly in the throat (and other places), through the time where his family had slowly fallen apart, and into the years where he had joined the US Marine Corps.

Those years had been hell. At least when he moved away you were still able to text him annoying day-to-day updates and talk in the quiet nights when no one was awake to hear you admit how much you missed each other. But when he joined the Marines, you heard even less from your Tommy, and the ache you felt for him only grew.

When he came back, he had came back for good, immediately seeking you out with the promise of your old relationship back. And things went back to normal, slotted into place perfectly.

Except the insane amount of pining that you went through every waking hour you saw his stupidly attractive face.

But you weren't going to think about that. There was spaghetti to be made.

"Those are done." Tommy nodded his head to the noodles as he made the salad. You sneered to yourself, still pissed that he got the easy part.

"No, they're not, look, that one's still hard-"

"That's what she said."

"It's still undercooked you jerk. Can you please let me cook in peace? You're over there, doing the bare minimum, you ass."

"Hey, if this isn't tossed right, the whole thing is ruined. And those noodles are definitely done. We can get them in the sauce before the garlic bread is done so it'll cool down a bit. Look." All the sudden Tommy was crowded up behind you. Your breath did something funny. Probably the steam from the boiling water. Because, you know, it's so hard to breathe around.

Tommy took the spoon you were using to stir and managed to scoop up a single noodle. He then carefully picked it up and threw it on the cabinet. It stuck, but looked like it would fall via a strong sneeze.

"See? Done." You looked behind you to stare up at the infuriating man. He smiled and tilted his head. You had the sudden urge to hit him. With your mouth. Damn it.

He turned around, not giving you a chance to argue with him. That was his first mistake. As a MMA fighter, the idiot should know never to turn your back on the enemy.

You scooped up another noodle with your spoon. You waited until he was truly busy with cutting the tomatoes up for the salad.

You aimed for his head. It wrapped around the back of his neck with a soft splat. He startled for a moment, and then set the knife down and stared forward, still not turning around to look at you.

"You know what, now it's done. Now it's stickin'." You were struggling to hold it together, desperately trying not to laugh as you turned off the stovetop and set the pan aside.

You felt strong arms envelop you from behind, and you let out a loud laugh as you felt your feet leave the floor. Tommy, spinning you around before setting you on the counter. You've really put yourself it a bad position.

Well, if you're being honest, probably the best damn position you've ever been in.

Except that the bastard started tickling you. More laughter spilled out of you, uncontrollable at this point.

"Tommy!" You were out of breath from the constant attack. What happened to never turn your back on the enemy? "Tommy, what are we in-" More laughter as his joined yours. You two were so close you could feel his shoulder dip every time he rumbled a laugh. "what are we in 6th grade now- Tommy!"

You could feel his laughter huff by your ear, and you knew you had to resort to dirty tactics. If he wanted to play by middle school standards, then you had no choice but to stoop down to his level.

Tommy was very distracted trying to murder you by laughter alone, and he looked like he was having the time of his life. He never even realized your hands were so close to his head. He was in the middle of another fit of giggles when he felt your nimble hands glide through his hair. He had half a second to understand what you were planning, and he was just about to pull away, to get as far from you as possible before-

You gave a solid pull to his hair. You felt satisfaction shoot through your body as his laugh choked off, his body going rigid underneath your fingers. His breath stuttered and his hands instantly fell from your sides to grasp the edge of the counter.

You didn't quite understand what was going on at first, the only thing on your mind being that you'd won the battle. You couldn't help the smug smile from sliding across your expression, or the snarky little giggle that bubbled it's way out.

"What's wrong, Tommy? Did someone school you at your own game, hmm? Maybe next time you'll think before you-"

"Could you please let go?" Tommy sound winded, like he'd just fought a few rounds with someone much bigger than him. It made you pause, and then frown.

Your fingers loosened from his hair, but you didn't lower your arm just yet. You couldn't fathom why Tommy was acting this way, when he instigated the rough-housing. And you knew for damn sure you hadn't hurt him. You had seen the idiot stub his toe on his coffee table before, and the only reaction out of the fighter was a pause, a look up to the ceiling, and one long, drawn out sigh.

So even though he sounded like he was trying to fight for his life, you know it absolutely wasn't because you had hurt him in anyway. Tommy could break you five times over.

You looked down at his hands. Not only was he grasping the edge of the counter top, but his knuckles were white, like he was anchoring himself. You glanced to his face. His eyes were squeezed shut, his lips pressed tightly together, and his eyebrows were furrowed in deep concentration. Was he- was that a blush? His body was still pulled tight.

Experimentally, you lightly scraped your nails along his scalp.

If Tommy were to ever hear you call the sound that came from him a whimper, he'd probably swiftly and effectively dispose of your body. But it was a fucking whimper.

His eyes snapped open wide and met yours. You saw his utter mortification. You would say you felt guilty, but having your long time crush whimper while slotted between your thighs as you sat a top a kitchen counter really did things for you.

You mentally reprimanded yourself for letting your mind fall into the gutter as your friend so obviously had a small break down.

Before you could get a word out, to try talk him down from whatever thoughts were swirling in that pretty head of his, Tommy was out of kitchen. Ah, so he's chosen drama today? Coming from a man who would rather fight his own brother than talk, you can't really find it in yourself to be surprised.

"Tom." You dropped down from the counter, heading toward the living room, which was the only way he could've gone. As you rounded the corner, you saw him pacing the length of the room, his hands interlaced behind his head, elbows out, eyes wild.

"Tommy." You smoothed out your voice, pictured yourself trying to calm down a particularly flighty horse. You know, if the horse were the love of your life and you were desperately trying to make things less weird between you two before the already delicate friendship collapsed.

At your gentle prod he stopped. He let his hands fall down to his sides. He huffed once. Crossed his arms, made a face, and then dropped them. His fists curled up into balls and he closed his eyes. He opened one and looked toward you.

"You didn't hear that."

You raised an eyebrow, crossing your own arms to your chest.

He pointed to the kitchen. "That didn't happen."

Because you love your best friend very much, you didn't roll your eyes.

"Tommy. Calm down. Take a deep breath." He did not take a deep breath. You did for him. Then another one for you. You moved toward the couch, and the way he suddenly looked like he was about to sprint out the door didn't escape you. You held your hands up placatingly. Easy, boy.

You sat down, leaving enough room for him to sit beside you. He looked at you wearily. You gave him a pointed look, one that said this is something to be discussed, and there's no way you're getting out of it, and gently patted the space for him.

He looked like he'd rather do anything else. He eventually made his way to the spot and plunked down, but as close to the arm of the couch as possible.

You gave him a sweet smile. He looked away, but not before you caught the blush. You decided to let him speak first.

It was quiet for awhile. Your thoughts went to the noodles still sitting on the counter, probably cooling in the water making a film. He cleared his throat.

"I don't. Not a ton of people touch me." He stared dutifully in front of him. You stayed silent, afraid of scaring him into silence again. He shifted uncomfortably, letting out a growl of frustration. "I mean people touch me. I just meant. It's not. It's," He looked like each word was slowly strangling him, "Never that intimate. I guess. And never anyone like you."

You're eyebrows shot up. His head jerked toward you.

"Not like that, I mean like someone so pretty." You choked a little. He visibly flinched. "Ok. I think that's enough for tonight. I think I've made plenty an ass of myself for one God forsaken night." He made to move, but your hand covered his before you really thought about it. He immediately stopped, staring at your hand on top of his.

"Tommy, it's ok." He gave you a dubious look. "No, really. Lots of people don't know how to deal with touch when it's not normal for them-"

"I'm fine, I touch people all the time, it doesn't matter it's ridiculous-"

"Tommy." He stopped. You lifted both hands to slowly cradle his face. His eyes were panicky. He looked like he was fighting every instinct inside him. "Listen to me, love." His eyes widened. "You don't have to explain anything. I need you to know it's ok to freak out a little. It's ok for this to be new." You bit your lip. "It's ok if it feels good."

A small sound came from the fighter. His eyes slipped closed. It suddenly hit you. You sucked in a sharp breath, and you started to gently stroking his face to his neck.

"Oh Tommy. You spend all that time fighting in the ring, so much time dominating. You barely let anyone touch you before you knock them away." His dad was probably never there to offer him any type of physical love, and his mom was too distanced from anyone to truly give what Tommy craved. By that time, he had pushed his brother away, and you had never really noticed him to be very active in the dating area.

You could feel his control slipping, could feel him slowly letting you hold his head up while he explored the sensation of someone just feeling him. When he spoke, his speech was slightly slurred.

"Was always jus' scared."

"I know Tommy."

"Didn' want you t' leave."

"And why would I do something stupid like that."

There was a second of silence, but Tommy was too far in to go back now.

"Cuz' I only wanted you to touch. Only ever you." Your heart stopped. His eyes slowly opened, meeting yours. His gaze snapped to your lips, back up to your eyes. All it took was for your eyes to snap to his lush mouth, and he was surging to meet you.

You felt like you were melting, melding into him. His lips were sliding against yours, his hands suddenly huge, thumbs cupping your face while his hands rested on the sides of your neck. He kissed like you see him fight. The urgency and the power and the emotion. You ached all over.

You could hardly remember your name when you finally separated, heaving lungfuls of air. Maybe all that oxygen deprivation had really done something to your brain, because you might be having a stroke. It almost smelled like something was burning. Tommy's face did something funny and he sniffed the air.

Oh. OH. The garlic bread.

Both of you made a mad dash for the kitchen, Tommy arriving first and throwing the oven door open, grabbing whatever cloth he could find to take out the charred bread as you used a dishrag to flap away any smoke that spilled out.

Once he made sure his apartment wasn't going to burn down or that the ambulance wan't going to be making a surprise visit, he slumped against the counter, breathing heavily. You put your hands on your hips.

A few second went by, both of you trying to catch your breath. Tommy looked up at you. You met his eye.

You both melted into peeling laughter, trying to stay upright. It seemed like every time you two would get your shit together, you'd fall right back into cackles.

He finally reigned in the worst of the laughter, and slowly made his way to where you were standing. Your own laughs died down.

"Are we good?" you ask him gently. He nods his head, with his sweet smile.

"We're good" he replies gently. He gets this determined look on his face, and steps real close to you. He doesn't do anything else for awhile, instead looking to you, asking with questioning eyes.

You give him an encouraging smile. He smiles right back at you, and for the second time tonight, strong arms envelop you.

[is-nini]

Genshin impact x reader

Episode: 1

Title: Being sucked in

A/n: I'm not sure how long this.. story will take but i will try my best to keep it entertaining.. this story is about you, being sucked into genshin world, this is part 1.. please enjoy. Leave a comment or suggestion.. possible love interest for now will be : Diluc, Kaeya, Albedo, Zhongli, Childe, Xiao, Beidou, Ningguang.

Today is another normal day, nothing is really out of the ordinary, the sky is a little bit cloudy but you don't mind, you think that the wind blowing against your hair is very nice as you walk towards your school. You walked inside, stopping Infront of the locker to the entrance to fix your stuff and take your schedule until you felt a presence beside you.

"oh, hello sidia".

You greets one of your sleepy friend, she just let's out a 'hmm' and a nod while looking through her locker, not even giving you an eye contact. sidia has always been like this, she never really made an eye contact towards you but she still shows that she has some of her attention towards you.

"good morning".

Your other friend, Chelz Lee, let's out a mutter to the both of you, Chelz is more talkative then Sidia, you met them maybe a couple of years ago. they're a very talented artist and are a very interesting friends to be around with.

"what's up guys".

You too greet them without looking at their eye, you take your books out and proceed to take a peak at Sidia's schedule.

"oh? Mathematics on the first hour? Goodluck".

You snicker and slap her shoulder a little bit, she stares at you uninterestedly with her sleepy eye and started to walk away, letting you stare at her black low ponytail hair.

You giggle and take a peak at Chelz's schedule. Art. her first lesson for today seems fun you thought sighing at the sight of your first schedule that reads 'science'.

Chelz already went half way to catching up to Sidia before she looks back at you as if asking you to join them and you did. You jog towards her, taking her hand and started to jog towards Sidia either.

"how are you both?".

You ask them both while fixing the books on your hand and looking at your shoes to check the lace.

"depressed".

Sidia answered, you make a 'uhuh' sound feeling used to her answers. Chelz stroke her short wavy black bangs out of her eyes and use her black glasses and start to read her novel. Her black short hair blows a little because of the wind.

"fine".

She answered you, yawning and stretching her arms out beside her. You and the rest of your friend said goodbye to eachother and proceed to go to your different ways.

You went inside your class. As usual people are in teams, some are in teams for fun, some are in teams for checking today's lesson.

You take a one seat beside the window and wait for the teacher to come inside the classroom.

The lesson went on as usual, smoothly even, you did your homework andd the score that you got on yesterday's test is not bad, B is not a bad grade. You take out your binder and put the paper's that you got in to the binder.

Going home is the best thing about the day. You and Chelz are chatting away about until you guys cane across a gaming store.

"ou? A gaming store".

Sidia said, catching yours and Chelz attention. Chelz look at that place very seriously, squinting her eye.

"...since when is there a gaming store here- y/n!".

She was very suspicious of this place, she doesn't remember any gaming store around here... And if there is one opening soon it should be the talk of the school. in short Chelz was suspicious but you, being a gaming enthusiast decided to check it out, thinking maybe they have a good and cheap open world game.

"... She's crazy".

Sidia chuckled. She took Chelz arm, snapping her out of her suspicious state and drag her towards the gaming store.

"yo- sidia i don't wanna die".

"well i do. So let's go".

And with that the both of them followed you in.

The store looks very cool.. it's like you're in a different world. The ceiling's wallpaper is made out of galaxy like drawing and the light bulb was covered with another ball that is drawn to match with the different planets on the solar system.

"welcome to the store how may i help you".

A girl that looks like in her mid 20 greets the both of you, she have short black hair and a green uniform and a little pin on the breast part of her uniform spell out 'katheryne'. Which you assume was her name.

"hello! I was wondering do you have any open world game?".

You instantly ask her, not caring about the suspicious store, you don't even care about the insides of the place. You just wanted to play a open world game that's full of interesting stuff. The girl name katheryne hums in understanding and goes behind the table to look for a game you requested. Chelz grabs your hand and shout whisper to you.

"this place is creepy y/n. Let's get out of here".

Chelz scold you, you sigh and looks at her calmly shaking your head no.

"it's fine, were fine, what's the worst thing that could happen?".

You whisper back with a lighter tone. Really you don't care if this place comes out of nowhere you just want your game, you're smiling stupidly while waiting for the girl.

"anywayyy if anything happened, Sidia is here, she'll be able to protect us using her fighting style knowledge thingy".

Sidia scoffed and fold her arms, looking at you as if you're crazy.

"i will leave you alone and save myself".

You laugh and was about to slap her back when she holds your hand and rolls her eyes at you.

"such a tsun tsun".

You laugh out, she slowly and gently let your hand away. From the corner of your eye you can see katheryne walking towards the counter. You immediately jump and went towards her.

"this is the only open world game that i found".

She said, you look at the weird japanese like word, assuming it was the title you try to read what is said.. you don't understand it but the design was cool though.

"this is a open world game called genshin impact. I will not spoil the story but i think this game might be the game you're looking for".

Her confidence is seeping in on your game needy state so you decided to purchase it, not thinking twice. Sidia face palm while Chelz just sigh, feeling tired of your hot headed act.

"it will be 2$".

You felt giddy, you can't help it. It's cheap and is a open world game, that is a steal. After taking your stuff, the both of your friend immediately pull you away from the store.

"okay y/n. You got what you need, that place is sus i tell ya".

Sidia said, Chelz nods her head and fix her black glasses, she stare at you while furrowing her eyebrows.

"you gotta stop doing reckless thing. Who knows what that place is".

You sigh and nod, rolling your eye. You giggle anyway and put the game in front of you.

"i know.. but were safe! I wanna try and play it when i get home".

Sidia and Chelz just sigh, what can they do anyway. On the way home you and your friends goes on your own separate way as usual, you jog towards your home, feeling giddy to play the new game.

You take a bath, and goes straight to your computer, opening the plastic wrapper on the game. You insert the disc and started to wait for the loading screen.

And oh gosh.. isn't it pretty, the cutscene the art. Everything. So the game basically tells you about the story of two traveller, who was travelling from world to world until suddenly a mysterious god appears, took one of the twins and take away the other twins power, and now you're playing as the twin who was looking for their missing sister.

You look at the wishing button, tempted to wish for a character, you decided to pull. Expecting a cool banner of the current character instead, you're greets by a white screen.

"hm.. should i restart it?".

You mumble to yourself, nodding in agreement at your words, you close the disc and pulls out the game from your computer. You take a nearby wipe and wipe the back disc gently and then put it back in on the computer.

The game is launching when suddenly you felt a huge and sudden headache comes over you.

"ugh-!".

You groan, gosh.. maybe it's because you have been staring at the screen for too long.. you thinks as a bumping headache keeps going at you.

While waiting for the game you decided to lay back a bit, rest your eyes and head.. this headache is not going away anytime soon if you keep waiting and staring at the screen.

Before you reach the bed, your body stumble forward and fall on to the floor, cannot control any part of your body you close your eyes and your mind went blank.

A darkness is all that you see.. a darkness is all that you're in.. you remember that the last time you are in your bedroom, playing genshin until a huge headache wave over you. Now that you're sense's is back something felt wrong.. you can tell you are laying on something.. it's not comfy but it's still felt quite nice.

You opened your eye slowly and look around the place, groaning as you stare at the half blue and half white wall. You look at your bed and this bed looks like one of the hospital bed..... Wait hospital bed?! You instantly look around frantically where the heck are you?!

"oh you're awake!".

A gentle calm voice echoed throughout the room. That voice sounds familiar.. you turn around and saw a girl with a nurse hat and a white dress, her cream coloured hair is put in a ponytail... Barbara?!.

You stare at her unbelievably. Act cool.. act like.. like a human.. yeah!. You think to yourself. You know this girl.. this girl is the free 4 star character that you'll get once you reach a certain level. Okay y/n.. play it cool.. just act like you don't know this place.

"why.. am i here?".

You look at the girl, she seems nervous to be around you ... Which is normal maybe. She walked beside you and take a cup of empty glass beside you and pour a pitcher full of water inside the glass half full and then take them, offering the glass to you.

"you're in Mondstat.. the land of freedom.."

A/n; GOD I'm so sorry it took a long time, i hope the 'cliffhanger' makes sense...? But! Thankyou for reading! I am working on part 2 so more will be incoming!!!

[highstwildflower]

Drowning in your ocean

Summery; Ashton and Y/N meets and fall in love. Just pure fluff

Words: 2871

Sun baked down from the electric blue sky, not a cloud was in sight and temperatures were soaring. Bodies moved pass bodies, conversation was turned in to mumbles by the loud music. Laughters were shared as drinks were and the pool was packed with sweaty bodies trying to cool down. Your body was also objectify to the warm temperature, you looked at your brother, Bennett, who had dragged you along to this party in the first place. 4th of July was the reason for the gathering, you saw it as an excuse to get day drunk. Bennett gave you a look as you began to complain again "come on y/n just go and talk to someone? Take a dip in the pool? Make it happen." His brotherly love was not what you wanted, huffing you gave him a stern look "do I look like I wanna be sitting in a pool of piss?" His laughter made you wince and you hurried away, ready for that drink. Hours passed, new people were met and new sort of friendships were formed. Looking across the patio you saw your friend Sierra all of a sudden, you hadn't seen her in ages. Not because you stopped being friends, and not because you grew apart, but life simply pulled you in different directions. In seconds she was pushing through bodies and you were doing the same, meeting each other in a bone crushing sweaty hug "y/n" "Sierra" you both gasped at the same time. Both shocked to see the other at the party. Within minutes the conversation was as if no time had been missed. Sierra loved to used hand gestures and the big rock that took up her finger caught you eyes, of course you had seen the photos of Luke and Sierras engagement, but gosh the ring was huge and stunning." Shut up! Let me see that humongous ring" you almost yelled at the poor girl, she giggled at you before proudly showing off the ring. "Y/n, Luke and I are hosting a dinner at our place after this party, please come?" She looked at you with her warm brow eyes and you instantly knew why Luke had fallen so deeply in love with her. You pulled her in "thank you Si, of course I wanna come" she hugged you back and excused herself before wandering off with her blonde fiancé.

Sweat was starting to collect in drops on your body, and a dip in the pool started to sound like a good idea. Slowly you emerged into the cold water, and spotted your brother talking to a certain handsome Aussie. Being a huge 5sos fan you had spotted Ashton Irwin the second you walked in, but the secret code was to never bombard a famous person in this circle of people. You swam over to the two and smiled at Bennet, Ashtons back facing you. "Hi y/n, you seem to have cheered up" he smiled stupidly at you "well yes I have your dork" you scold as him, Ashton turned and looked at you with a smile tugging at his lips, he extended a hand for you "hi I'm Ashton" you smiled back at him, pondering whether to play it cool or just act as yourself- someone who likes 5sos. You took his hand and met his eyes "I know, but nice to meet you Ashton, I'm y/n." He laughed, and god you had always had a soft spot for his laugh, but hearing it in person made your heart beat faster. "Uh am I talking to a fan or someone with no music taste?" the teasing smile that played on his lips made your head sore "I have great music taste, thank you. I do enjoy a blast of "Pizza"." You grinned at him and he laughed ever louder while clinging to his drink, the chemistry between you was unmatched "She is the funny one, eh?" He was speaking to both you and Bennett now, you just stuck your tongue out at your brother. Happy to have made a good impression on mr. handsome. The conversation between yourself and Ashton carried on even as Bennett excused himself. It seems as if there was nothing too big or too small for the two of you to discuss. Ashton had that sparkle about him, like he was the human version of sunshine, you could bath in his shine forever and some more. He lifted his empty glass and looked at you "ready to get out of this pee and grab a new drink with me?" You laughed at how he seemed to have read your mind, and without an answer he dragged you behind. His much larger hand lightly holding yours, tingles swirled in your body. You had promised yourself to new idolize anyone just because for who they were, but something about Ashton made you swoon. You heart beat faster ,  your breath uneven and everything in the world made sense when his warm eyes met your eyes.

A few drinks later you were ready to leave the party to attend Sierra and Luke's. Ashton was going to the same destination and had offered you a lift to which you gladly agreed. The drive to their place was short, it consisted of Ashton singing along to the radio and you laughing at him every now and then. A feeling of adoration filled the both of you, somehow the mood created between the two of you were unlike any other either of you had experienced before. As the car came to a halt you both looked at each other, Ashton reached for you hand and you let him play with your fingers  "Is it to straight forward if I ask for your number?" you smiled softly while looking down at your hand laying in his "Try." You didn't know where this flirty side of you came from, but you were enjoying it. Ashton tugged at your hand until your eyes met "Can I please have you number my dearest?" the biggest grin was playing on his face and you couldn't help the giggle from spilling into the car "Yes you can." exchanging numbers made your heart flutter and you were more than please with the outcome of the day. The party was filled with laughter and the atmosphere filled with love. Ashton who was seated next to you made sure to include you in every conversation, never letting you feel misplaced in the group of chosen family. He also made sure to touch you plenty, just a light hand that lingered on yours as he passed you the salat, a warm knee that bumped yours. All these touches made your body feel electric, leaving you thirsty for his touch.

The late hours crawled up on you, the sight of the city that never sleeps made you feel more alive than ever, but also craving a minute to calm down. As if the day had been a dream that was manifesting into reality, and you just a body that needed time to feel the dream. Without any notice you slipped away from the party, your naked feet walking down the stone stairway that led to the vacant pool area. The well lit water was calm and inviting but the lounge chair screamed louder, you invited the calm to take over your body as you sunk into the outdoor bed. The start lit up the sky and the moon chilled in a corner far away, the cool air blew across your skin and your breath was calm and deep. The chill soon seeped through your blood and you shivered under the mercy of Mother Nature "Hey you" his voice was calm but you still yelped slightly at the sudden disturbance of your piece. "Hey ash" the nickname fell naturally from your lips, as if you had known him for all of your life. "Can I take a seat?" he waved at the space next to you and you gestured for him to sit down. The heat from his body was like a magnet and you were pulled closer to him. He took notice of your shivers and offered you his jacked, with a shy smile you thanked him before pulling the fabric snuggly around your frame. The night was quiet, his shoulder bumped into yours and he extended a closed palm, his eyes met your before he revealed the joint in his hand. "Is it ok with you? We can share if you want to?" his questions were asked out of respect and your adoration grew "yes please." The joint was shared between you, huffs and puffs being the only sound that filled the night. As the joint came to an end, you felt yourself relax. Somehow you ended up in his arms, body resting between his legs and back leaning against his chest.

Loud chipping and rays of sun woke you up, stirring you felt his arms tighten around you. A loud laugh fell from your lips as you realized what had happened. He was rudely awoken by your loud outburst, the second he understood he joined in. You didn't try to move away instead you snuggled further into him and he welcomed your gesture, arms pulling you into him. Slowly you both met the morning, bodies intertwined with a stranger that felt closer to home than anyone else ever had. "I could stay like this forever" is seemed as if his mouth had been faster than his mind but you enjoyed the knowledge and agreed with a hum.

The sun baked down even in the early hours and Ashton shifted in his seat. You pulled away, body sore from the position and mind getting lost in reality "Im sorry, I have to get home and walk my dog" You had totally forgotten about the bundle of fur waiting for you at home. Quite frantic you sprinted towards the exit and called an Uber. Arriving at home you spend the next hours apologizing to your dog, Marly. Your phone rang, on the other end was Ashton. The conversation bloomed and you agreed on a date the very next day.

As promised Ashton parked his large car in front of your home the next day at noon. He texted you and you made your way to his car. He jumped out as soon as he saw your frame, ready for a hug and to open the door for you. Once again the drive was short but comfortable. He sang along and you gently hummed along every now and then, the sun was baking down on the city while life played out. The first destination was lunch at one of Ashtons favorite spots in LA. Avocado was the main ingredient in everything and whole wheat was listed as the only source of carb, you took care of your body so you didn't mind it. The sun danced through the windows as you waited for your food, Ashton tapped a random beat against the steering wheel and your mind was filled with thoughts of how natural it felt. To just be with him. The calming silence was broken when Ashton spoke "what's your favorite color?" You laughed lightly at the silly question and took it as a sweet gesture "I like white, it so nice and calming. When the world is on fire and nothing makes sense I like to be surrounded by white. What about you?" He laughed even louder at your answer but something about his laugh made you feel warm inside and not as if he was making fun of you. "That's cute, who knew that somebody as interesting as yourself would like the most boring color ever? I myself enjoy the color red the most." You laughed as an answer, the conversation being cut off by the meal being delivered at your window. Ashton drove you to his favorite hide away, deep in the forest. The only sound you could hear was raw nature. The conversation between the two of you were never forced, just like a flow of water following every crevasses of its path. As the day grew older you felt a lot closer to the man sitting next to you, the car ride to the next spot was longer and he has chosen you as the DJ. Mortified you looked through your Spotify which was filled with 5sos and their solo albums, finally settling on a playlist, a cheeky smile played on his face "not to keen on 5sos I see" you punched him lightly in the arm "shush aaaash." He laughed even louder "I'm sorry darling, it's adorable." The mood was light and everything felt more vibrant. Ashton pulled onto a beach, the sand so hard that it allowed the vehicles to drive on it. He parked the large car with the trunk facing the water. The sun that had been baking for hours had left the air warm, the sun itself was begging it's journey into the ocean to be tugged behind the horizon. The sky was dancing in pink and purple rays, the waves crashing against shore provides a soothing melody. "I thought we could go for a swim?" He wiggled his eyebrows at you and you laughed out loud " I didn't bring my swimsuit " he came closer, arms circling your waist "you can just go naked, imma do that too." It is wasn't a question, he was expecting you to go swimming with him, and you wanted to but you were also shy. "Ok ash, but than you have to look away until I'm in the water" he nodded eagerly at you and pressed a sweet kiss to your cheek before turning away from you. Hesitating you peeled your clothes from your body, eyes stuck on his back, as soon as the last fabric fell from your body you leap into the ocean. The water was lukewarm as it submerged your body, weightless you yelled at him "ok you can look." He spun around, eyes meeting yours and before you knew it he was naked next to you. "It's actually not that cold" he smiled at you "no it's not." His eyes met yours and came closer, both of you leaned closer and just like that your lips met in a burst of adoration for each other. You clang  to his body, his warmth pulling you closer before his hand guided your legs around his hip. Your bodies were intertwined in the deep blue, water gently washing over your shoulder. Small whimpers were drawn from both of your lips as you were nipping at each other. As your lips came to a still, your foreheads knocked together. "I'm so happy to be here with you" his words were soft as he rubbed his hands up and down your back and you smiled back at him

"me too ash." Silent took over the moment as your bodies stayed press together, sexes resting close to each other but the moment felt pure. "You look absolutely beautiful my dear" you blushed at his words and mumbled a thanks before peaking his lips.  "I could hold you like this for a million years" he whispered against your neck and you giggled slightly. "When the rain is blowing in your face, and the whole world is on your case" Ashton looked at you with curious eyes as your soft song hit his ears, the fond smile on his lips made you go on. He held  your close as you sang on, bodies slowly dancing in the ocean as the song came to and end "to make you fell my love" his lips were on yours as the last word fell from them. His left hand gripped onto your face and his thumb rubbed small circles into your soft cheek. In that moment you both just felt. He notices the small freckles that mapped out your face, your soft eyes that twinkled in the last rays from the sun. How your small hands rested firmly around his neck, your plumb lips that was slightly parted from the act of love. He saw how the water tickled against you collarbones, where molds made a pathway to your breast that disappeared into the ocean and rested  against his chest. He saw you. And he fell in love, not slowly but quickly. As the rain that pours from the dark September sky. All at once, filling every cell in his body with love for you. He felt like he needed to gasp for air, as if the oxygen didn't do its job. Only when he met your eyes again he could breath. Slowly and surely, with you pressed against him it was going to be ok. You felt it too, his energy pulling you in. Like a spell that you would never be able to break. His right arm that was holding you pressed against him felt like your life jacket that kept your afloat on this deep ocean of love that he had pulled you head first into. When your eyes met his you knew it and he knew it. This was it. It was going to you and him, him and you. Together.

[thewidowsghost]

The Daughter of the Sea - Chapter 6

(Y/n)'s POV

Once I get over the fact that my brother's Latin teacher was half horse, we have a nice tour.

We pass by the volleyball pit. Several of the campers nudge each other. One points to the Minotaur horn Percy is carrying. Another says, "It's them."

Most of the campers are older than me. Their satyr friends are bigger than Grover, all of them trotting around in orange CAMP HALF-BLOOD t-shirts, with nothing else to cover their bare shaggy hindquarters. I'm not normally shy, but the way they are staring at me and Percy makes me uncomfortable. I feel as though they want us to do a flip or something.

I look back at the farmhouse. It's bigger than I'd realized - four stories tall, sky blue with white trim, like an upscale seaside resort. I'm checking out the brass eagle weather vane on top when something catches my eyes, a shadow in the uppermost window of the attic gable. Something had moved the curtain, just for a second, and I get a distinct impression that I'm being watched.

"What's up there?" I ask Chiron.

He looks to where I'm pointing and his smile fades, "Just the attic."

"Somebody lives there?" Percy asks.

"No," he says with finality. "Not a single living thing."

I get the feeling that he's being truthful, but I am also sure something had moved that curtain.

As we get closer, I realize how huge the forest is. It takes up at least a quarter of the valley, with trees so tall and thick, you could imagine nobody had been in there since the Native Americans.

Chiron says, "The woods are stocked if you care to try your luck, but go armed."

"Stocked with what?" Percy asks. "Armed with what?"

"You'll see. Capture the flag is Friday night. Do you have your own swords and shields?"

"My own - ?" Percy is cut off.

"No," Chiron interupts. "I don't suppose you do. I think a size five will do for you, Percy, and a size three for you, (Y/n). I'll visit the armory later."

Finally, Chiron shows us the cabins. There are twelve of them, nestled in the woods by the lake. They are arranged in a U, with two at the base and five in a row on each side. And they are, without a doubt the most bizarre number above the door.

Except for the fact that each has a large brass number above the door (odds on the left side, evens on the right), they lock absolutely nothing alike. Number Nine has smokestacks, like a tiny factory. Number Four has tomato vines on the walls and a roof made out of real grass. Seven seems to be made of solid gold, which gleams so much in the sunlight it was almost impossible to look at. They all face a commons area about the size of a soccer field, dotted with Greek statues, fountains, flower beds, and a couple of basketball hoops (which were more my speed).

In the center of the field is a huge stone-lined firepit. Even though it is a warm afternoon, the hearth smolders. A girl, maybe nine years old is tending the flames, poking the coals with a stick. I wave at the girl and she looks surprised, as though no one acknowledged her often, and waves back with a smile.

The pair of cabins at the head of the field, numbers one and two, look like his-and-hers mausoleums, big white marble boxes with heavy columns in front. Cabin One is the biggest and bulkiest of the twelve. Its polished bronze doors shimmer like a hologram, so that from different angles lightning bolts seem to streak across them. Cabin Two is more graceful somehow, with slimmer columns garlanded with pomegranates and flowers. The walls are covered with images of peacocks.

"Zeus and Hera?" Percy guesses.

"Correct," Chiron says.

"Their cabins look empty."

"Several of the cabins are. That's true. No one ever stays in one or two."

I stop in front of the first cabin on the left, cabin three.

It isn't high and mighty like Cabin One, but low and solid. The outer walls are of rough gray stone studded with pieces of seashells and coral as if the slabs had been hewn straight from the bottom of the ocean floor. I peek inside the open doorway and Chiron says, "Oh, I wouldn't do that!"

Before he can pull me back, I catch the salty scent of the interior, like the wind on the shore at Montauk. The interior walls glow like abalone. There are six empty bunks with silk sheets turned down, but there is no sign anyone had ever slept there. The place feels so sad and lonely, I am glad when Chiron puts his hand on my shoulder and says, "Come along, (Y/n)."

Most of the other cabins were crowded with campers.

Number five was bright red—a real nasty paint job as if the color had been splashed on with buckets and fists. The roof was lined with barbed wire. A stuffed wild boar's head hung over the doorway, and its eyes seemed to follow me. Inside I could see a bunch of mean-looking kids, both girls and boys, arm wrestling and arguing with each other while rock music blared. The loudest was a girl maybe thirteen or fourteen. She wore a size XXXL CAMP HALF-BLOOD T-shirt under a camouflage jacket. She zeroed in on Percy and gives him an evil sneer.

"Oh, look," Chiron says as we approach Cabin Eleven. "Annabeth is waiting for us."

The blond girl I'd met at the Big House is reading a book in front of the last cabin on the left, number eleven. When we reach her, she looks me over critically, like she was still thinking about how much I drool.

I try to see what she was reading, but I can't make out the title. Then I realize the title isn't even English. The letters look Greek to me. I mean, literally Greek. There are pictures of temples and statues and different kinds of columns, like those in an architecture book.

"Annabeth," Chiron says, "I have Masters' Archery class at noon. Would you take Percy and (Y/n) from here?"

"Yes, sir."

"Cabin Eleven," Chiron tells us, gesturing towards the doorway. "Make yourself at home."

Out of all the cabins, Eleven looks the most like a regular old summer camp cabin, with the emphasis on old. the threshold is worn down, the brown paint peeling. Over the doorway is a caduceus.

Inside, it is packed with people, both boys and girls, way more than the number of bunk beds. Sleeping bags are spread all over the floor. It looks like a gym where the Red Cross had set up an evacuation center.

Chiron doesn't go in. The door is too low for him. But when the campers see him, they all stand and bow respectfully.

"Well, then," Chiron says. "Good luck, Percy, (Y/n). I'll see the two of you at dinner."

He gallops away towards the archery range.

Percy's POV

We stand in the doorway, looking at the kids. They aren't bowing anymore. They are staring at us, sizing us up. I know this routine. I'd gone through it at enough schools.

"Well?" Annabeth prompts. "Go on."

So naturally, I trip coming in the door, and (Y/n) grabs my upper arm, straightening me up. There are some snickers from the campers, but none of them say anything.

Annabeth announces, "Percy and (Y/n) Jackson, meet Cabin Eleven."

"Regular or undetermined?" somebody asks.

I don't know what to say, but Annabeth says, "Undetermined."

Everyone groans.

A guy who is a little older than the rest comes forward. "Now, now, campers. That's what we're here for. Welcome, Percy, (Y/n). You can have those two spots on the floor, right over there."

The guy was about nineteen, and he looks pretty cool. He's tall and muscular, with short-cropped sandy hair and a friendly smile. He wears an orange tank top, cutoffs, sandals, and a leather necklace with five different colored clay beads. The only thing unsettling about his appearance is a thick white scar that runs from just beneath his right eye to his jaw, like an old knife slash.

"This is Luke," Annabeth says, and her voice sounds different somehow. I glance over and swear she's blushing, but after a moment she sees me looking, and her expression hardens again. "He's your counselor for now."

"For now?" (Y/n) asks, looking rather curious.

"You're undetermined," Luke explains. "They don't know what cabin to put you in, so you're here. Cabin eleven takes all newcomers, all visitors. Naturally, we would. Hermes, our patron, is the god of travelers."

I look around at the campers' faces, some sullen and suspicious, some grinning stupidly, some eyeing me as if they are waiting for a chance to pick my pockets.

"How long will I be here?" I ask.

"Good question," Luke replies. "Until you're determined."

"How long will that take?"

The campers all laugh and (Y/n) facepalms.

"Come on," Annabeth tells us. "I'll show you the volleyball court."

"We've already seen it."

"Come on."

Annabeth grabs my wrist and drags me outside. I can hear the kids of Cabin Eleven laughing behind me and (Y/n) waves good-bye shyly.

When we are a few feet away, Annabeth says, "Jackson, you have to do better than that?"

"What?"

She rolls her eyes and mumbles under her breath, "I can't believe I thought you two were the ones."

"What's your problem?" I'm getting angry now, (Y/n) watching us cautiously. "All I know is, we kill some bull guy -"

"Don't talk like that!" Annabeth tells me. "You know how many kids at this camp wish they'd had your chance?"

"To get killed?"

"To fight the Minotaur! What do you think we train for?"

I shake my head. "Look, if the thing we fought is really the Minotaur, the same one in the stories . . ."

"Yes."

"Then there's only one."

"Yes."

"And he died, like, a gajillion years ago, right? Theseus killed him in the labyrinth. So..."

"Monsters don't die, Percy. They can be killed. But they don't die."

"Oh, thanks. That clears it up."

"Percy," (Y/n) says calmly. "I think what Annabeth is saying, is that monsters eventually reform."

Annabeth nods and I think about Mrs. Dodds. "You mean if I killed one, accidentally, with a sword—"

"The Fur...I mean, your math teacher. That's right. She's still out there. You just made her very, very mad."

"How did you know about Mrs. Dodds?"

"You talk in your sleep," Annabeth answers and (Y/n) suppresses a laugh.

"You almost called her something. A Fury? They're Hades' torturers, right?"

Annabeth glances nervously at the ground as if she expects it to open up and swallow her. "You shouldn't call them by name, even here. We call them the Kindly Ones if we have to speak of them at all."

"Look, is there anything we can say without it thundering?" I sound whiny, even to myself, but right then I don't care. "Why do we have to stay in Cabin Eleven, anyway? Why is everybody so crowded together? There are plenty of empty bunks right over there."

I point to the first few cabins, and Annabeth turns pale. "You don't just choose a cabin, Percy. It depends on who your parents are. Or...your parent."

She stares at me, waiting for me to get it.

"Our mother is Sally Jackson," (Y/n) says softly. "She works at the candy store in Grand Central Station. At least, she used to."

"I'm sorry about your mom, (Y/n). But that's not what I mean. I'm talking about your other parent. Your dad."

"He's dead," I say simply. "We never knew him."

Annabeth sighs. Clearly, she'd had this conversation before with other kids. "Your father's not dead."

"How can you say that? You know him?"

"No, of course not."

"Then how can you say -"

"Because I know the two of you. You wouldn't be here if you weren't one of us."

"You don't know anything about us.

"No?" She raises an eyebrow. "I bet you moved around from school to school. I bet you were kicked out of a lot of them."

"How -"

"Diagnosed with dyslexia. Probably ADHD, too."

I try to swallow my embarrassment. "What does that have to do with anything?"

(Y/n)'s POV

"Taken together, it's almost a sure sign. The letters float off the page when you read, right? That's because your mind is hardwired for ancient Greek. And the ADHD—you're impulsive, can't sit still in the classroom. That's your battlefield reflexes. In a real fight, they'd keep you alive. As for the attention problems, that's because you see too much, Percy, not too little. Your senses are better than a regular mortal's. Of course, the teachers want you medicated. Most of them are monsters. They don't want you seeing them for what they are."

"You sound like...you went through the same thing?"

"Most of the kids here did. If you weren't like us, you couldn't have survived the Minotaur, much less the ambrosia and nectar."

"Ambrosia and nectar."

"The food and drink we were giving you to make you better. That stuff would've killed a normal kid. It would've turned your blood to fire and your bones to sand and you'd be dead. Face it. You're both half-bloods."

A half-blood.

I am reeling with so many questions I don't know where to start.

Then a husky voice yells, "Well! Two newbies!"

I look over. The big girl from the ugly red cabin is sauntering towards us. She has three other girls behind her, all big and ugly and mean-looking like her, all wearing camo jackets.

"Clarisse," Annabeth sighs. "Why don't you go polish your spear or something?"

"Sure, Miss Princess," the big girl says. "So I can run you through with it Friday night."

"Erre es korakas!" Annabeth says, which I somehow understand is Greek for 'Go to the crows!' though I have a feeling it was a worse curse than it sounds. "You don't stand a chance."

"We'll pulverize you," Clarisse says, but her eye twitches. Perhaps she isn't so sure she can follow through on ht threat. She turns towards me, then she looks at Percy. "Who are these's runts?"

"Percy and (Y/n) Jackson," Annabeth says, "meet Clarisse, Daughter of Aries."

Percy blinks. "Like . . . the war god?"

Clarisse sneers. "You got a problem with that?"

"No," Percy says, seemingly recovering his 'wits'. "It explains the bad smell."

Long story short, Percy made the toilets explode.

Yeah, I said it. He made the toilets explode . . .

Word Count: 2455 words

[virgojeons]

true love (jjk)

summary: you and jungkook spend your first christmas together. 

alternatively, a merry love story based on the lyrics of true love by ariana grande.

genre: fluff, humor, college au, established relationship, holiday series, jeon jungkook x reader

word count: 4.6k

warnings: cursing, implied sexual content, excessive use of pet names

wattpad version here, ao3 version here

a/n: well, here i am!! pls be gentle with me, this is the first time ive ever posted my writing on here and ive been debating it for months lmao. i truly truly hope u enjoy!!

on the first day of christmas when you gave me all them kisses, boy you showed me things, come hold me please and never let me go.

"Five days until Christmas and you're still decorating the tree?"

You yelped at the sudden sound of your boyfriend's voice, dropping your over-accessorized ornament and watching helplessly as it shattered against the floor.

Immediately, you whined. "Jungkook!"

Jungkook suppressed a grin at the furrow of your eyebrows and the pout of your lips, kicking his shoes off and tossing his coat onto the couch. He didn't mean to scare you, really. You even knew he was coming over. It's just that you left the front door unlocked (as you always did when he was on his way, despite him constantly scolding you for it) and there was no way you would've heard him come in over the sound of Jingle Bell Rock blaring through the house.

"Sorry, baby," He chuckled, bending down beside you to help pick up the remnants of your best ornament. "I didn't mean to scare you."

You glared at him in between collecting the shards of glass in your hand. "I spent hours making that."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. Hot glue gun burns, sparkles stuck on my face and everything."

Jungkook took the pieces of glass from you with an amused look on his face, standing from his kneeling position to toss them in the trash can you had earlier moved to the living room for easy access. "I'm sorry. I'll make you another one."

"It's not the same." You sulked, finding fun in being stubborn and giving him a hard time. It was getting increasingly difficult though, with his rosy nose and ears and that little gleam in his eyes.

It was then that he made his first move of the night, tugging you by your oversized Rudolph sweater so quickly that you had to latch onto his shoulders for leverage with a squeal. His grin only seemed to grow once you were officially in his space, taking notice of your lack of pants and the snowflake stockings that appeared to be in their place instead.

"You don't look too sorry," You chuckled, heart stuttering at the way he was gazing down at you in such close proximity.

Jungkook shrugged, nudging his nose with yours. "I'm just happy."

They were such simple words, but it was the way he said them, the way he looked at you when he said them. You couldn’t lie, the excitement of spending your first Christmas together, completely alone, was incredibly infectious. It was gross and it was corny and everything else you swore you would never be, but you were in love with Jungkook. Devastatingly so. You from nine months ago probably wouldn’t even recognize the present you; a fact that friends, family, and even Jungkook alike loved to tease you about. Cracking the so-called ice queen was a feat to be celebrated, apparently. Whatever. He was yours and you were his so you didn’t quite care about the technicalities of it. Even if the story went a bit differently, in your opinion. 

The brutal snow and temperatures of February were beginning to fade into spring when you met Jungkook. 

You and Jimin had been attempting to finish your economics homework together in your favorite coffee shop; a hidden treasure that was a ten minute walk from campus and ticked all your aesthetic boxes. You two were sipping from your respective hot drinks, neglecting your heaps of bookwork in favor of discussing the new season of Stranger Things. Jimin was deep into his theory of Hopper still being alive when his eyes flickered to the door at the sound of the bell, widening slightly in recognition before a bright smile took over his face.

"Jungkook!" Jimin called, waving whoever it was over.

You followed his gaze and turned your head in the direction of the entrance, growing curious when the boy walking towards your table wasn't familiar to you. It took you less than five seconds to realize that the boy in question was attractive. 

Like, extremely attractive. The kind of attractive that should not be subjected to the way you look right now. 

It took you even less time to whip your head back around, glaring at Jimin with wide eyes and a panicked expression.

He met your glare with a confused scrunch of his eyebrows before it slowly transformed into a smirk, quickly catching on to what your pointed look was for. The night before had been a late one. You, like any other normal millennial, had impulse bought a pretty yellow Nintendo Switch solely for the new Animal Crossing game. As soon as it arrived on your doorstep you were retreating into your room, tearing the package open with squeals of excitement.

Maybe you completely lost track of time and played until your eyes were bloodshot and you heard birds chirping outside. Maybe you got an astounding two hours of sleep. And maybe you had fallen asleep without setting an alarm and woke up thirty minutes later than usual. 

The details were insignificant though, because you were throwing on a pair of leggings and the first sweatshirt you saw, brushing your hair and your teeth, and hastily sprinting to your car all in record time.

No sleep. No makeup. No breakfast. And worst of all, no coffee.

And so, it was blatantly clear you had no desire to let a boy that beautiful even glance at you in that state, let alone introduce himself. But it didn't look like you had a choice in the matter, because moments later he was towering over your table with a stupidly handsome smile.

Jungkook grinned, reaching out to do that Weird Bro Handshake with Jimin. "Hey, Chim."

You were already plotting various methods of painful revenge in your head.

"Hey, Kook. What are you doing here?"

"I kind of work here," He chuckled. "Well, as of like, yesterday. Today's my first day."

"Oh, so this is the new job you were telling me about," Jimin nodded in realization, then his eyes flickered mischievously to yours. You’re rapidly shaking your head. "You know, this is my friend ___'s favorite coffee spot."

A scowl immediately takes over your face, only to be wiped off and replaced by a sickeningly sweet smile when Jungkook turns his head to look your way. The instant your eyes meet his you quite literally want to melt into the floor. 

Jungkook smiles at you. Like, really smiles. "Hey, that's cool. We'll probably be seeing a lot of each other then, right?"

Across the table, Jimin snorts, which only adds to the way your cheeks are absolutely flaming. You send a harsh kick to Jimin's leg as inconspicuously as you can, all while batting your eyelashes at Jungkook.

"Uh, yeah! We probably... will."

Jungkook looks positively amused, but if he notices Jimin rushing to clutch his leg, he doesn't say anything.

"Sweet," He grins again. There's a brief few seconds where you two are just gazing at each other, stupid and shy, until Jimin loudly clears his throat. "Right, well, I should probably go clock in. Let's chill sometime this week, Chim."

"Sure thing." Jimin sings, smugness plastered all over his face.

Jungkook waves, already backing away from the table with his eyes on you. "Nice meeting you."

You feel yourself flush again and you absolutely hate it. "Nice meeting you too."

With a final smile, Jungkook disappears behind the employee doors. The moment he leaves your eyes are screwed shut and you're slamming your head against the table. The silence speaks for itself. You don't even need to see Jimin's face to know that he's either smirking or stifling his laughter.

"Don't." You warn.

"You just blushed," He says anyway. "Like, four times."

"I most definitely did not blush."

"You did. You still are."

"I'm embarrassed!" You wail. "That's literally the only reason why. I look like I got ran over and dragged for three blocks."

"Jungkook sure doesn't seem to think so," Jimin hums, snickering as he sips his coffee.

"Stop."

"He likes you." He insists.

"He was just being polite." You defend.

"That is literally my childhood best friend. I think I would know."

This makes you pause. Then you sigh. "He doesn't even know me."

He doesn’t disagree. But then again, "Not yet."

"Stop trying to play matchmaker, Jimin. He said five words to me," You spoke firmly, exasperated as you downed the final sip of your latte. "Plus, I'm just focusing on me and my degree right now. No distractions."

Jimin knew that you were already worn out, and even though he was mostly joking around, he wouldn’t want to push you any further. He’d drop it.

"Fine. We'll see who's right in the end, though."

For now.

"I will dump that hot coffee over your head."

As it turns out, Jimin was kind of right.

It takes a grand total of four visits to your favorite coffee shop before Jungkook asks you out. The first time you were by yourself, nose buried in a book as Jungkook was clocking in. He wasn't able to speak to you until about an hour later, when the morning rush had passed and you had finally lifted your head from whatever was in that book. 

You were honestly dreading facing him again, but you were prepared and actually presentable this time. Also you were kind of starving. And so, you hesitantly approached the counter. Jungkook took your order, both of you all fidgeting hands and sheepish smiles. You mentally patted yourself on the back when you spoke without any real mess-ups, and prayed that the cool girl aura you always tried so desperately to maintain was being transmitted. 

Not like you were trying to leave a lasting impression, or anything.

He hand delivered you your coffee and muffin with a beaming grin, all while his new boss glared at him from behind the counter. He didn't have to know that you knew cashiers weren't supposed to serve the food.

The second visit was a few days after. You were with Jimin again, shooting down every jab he made about you only wearing a pretty dress because you knew you would be coming here. Jungkook joined you both during his break. As soon as he untied his apron and sat himself directly across from you, it struck. You knew you were screwed. You just couldn't stop staring at him. The chin in the palm of your hands and sparkles in your eyes type of staring. You would be much more ashamed if you couldn’t see the way he was staring right back. Jimin found this hilarious, of course, and would subtly find ways to connect you two in conversation. You weren't sure if you loved or hated him for it.

It was that visit that Jungkook insisted on sharing his slice of strawberry cake with you, claiming he wasn't that hungry. The both of you were embarrassed, whacking his arm and dismissing him as Jimin complained about being the third wheel. By the end of his break, Jungkook was positively smitten, you were begrudgingly infatuated, and Jimin was awfully smug. He reluctantly said bye to you both, and you were slouching forward with your head in your hands the moment he disappeared from visibility.

Jimin looked extremely pleased. "Believe me now?"

"Focusing on school," You protested. It was a weak one, but. Well.

"Are you trying to convince me or yourself?" He mused.

And suddenly, you were frantic. Panicking. This was definitely not a part of the plan.

Quickly packing up your things, you groaned loudly. "You. Maybe me. Or both. I can't think in this place anymore."

"You'll be all over each other by next week."

"Shh!" You were childishly covering your ears and speed-walking out of the café.

Try as you might, you couldn't help yourself and returned the very next day after all your classes had finished. Jungkook was already there when you walked in, taking a customer's order but doing a double take and flashing you a smile when you appeared in his line of sight. This visit consisted of nothing but pretending.

Pretending to be studying. Pretending you weren't listening to him take orders just to hear his voice. Pretending you weren't sneaking glances at him. Pretending that the way your eyes kept meeting wasn't making your skin prickle. And you were just fine pretending, until suddenly he was in the seat across from with you his apron off and a steaming hot chocolate in hand. You tried your hardest to remain indifferent, you really did. But then he was pushing the beverage towards you with gentle eyes and his smile hopeful, telling you it was his treat because he noticed how hard you were studying. And then you were melting right along with the marshmallows in that mug.

The two of you talked about your majors, your families, your favorite shows, even Jimin. You asked about his tattoos and he explained them with ease. You also may have pulled out one of the oldest tricks in the book at the sight of his knuckle tattoos, gasping in feigned wonder when you pulled his hand against yours to measure the size difference. 

His hand could swallow yours whole and still have some leftover, you discovered. It was a very rewarding experiment.

You made each other laugh and blush down to the very last second of his break. Scarily enough, being in each other's presence was so annoyingly addictive that you found yourself hesitant to watch him leave. You could tell Jungkook felt the same by the way he dragged out his goodbyes. I work again on Thursday, maybe I'll see you then? Your fingers brushed as he softly took the mug from you. It was really fun talking to you. You were biting your lip to keep from smiling embarrassingly big. You look really pretty today, by the way. And then he was off.

You made a strangled noise the second you were outside with your fingers frantically beginning to type a message to Jimin.

promise not to say i told you so :///

Jungkook asked you out on your fourth visit. As soon as you approached the counter, he just blurted it out. As if it was something he couldn't hold on his tongue any longer. You couldn't hear yourself say yes over your brain malfunctioning and the powerful thumping of your heart, but you knew you did. His heartbreakingly gorgeous grin told you so.

On his break, Jungkook brought you a latte with a heart carved in the cream. You just couldn't conceal the coo that escaped you, which quickly resulted in his cheeks reddening. 

Cute, you thought. 

He quizzed you on your personality and the type of activities you liked to do, admitting that he would use the information to conjure up the best date you would ever go on. Six days later, Jungkook stayed true to his word. Not only was it the best date you had ever been on, but you were completely certain it would ruin any other dates for you moving forward, unless they were with him. Much to your annoyance and also utter delight, you were so sure of Jeon Jungkook and your brief but striking time together that you kissed him. Right on the swings of your favorite childhood playground, first date rules tossed aside.

He was so caught off guard that his eyes expanded to twice their normal size and your teeth banged together. You drew back, slightly mortified and ready to jump to your death from the tallest slide on the playground, but Jungkook was huffing a laugh onto your lips and grabbing your face like it was nothing. Then you two got it just right, and something clicked. The earth fell off its axis and you were rendered breathless and all that nauseating cliché shit you chastised as a myth. And from that day forward, you two were completely, tooth-rottingly, inseparable.

"Easy," Jungkook proclaimed, pecking your lips. "We finished the tree."

He set you back on the floor gently, releasing a dramatic breath of air as if lifting you to place the star on top of the tree had actually winded him. As if he wasn't a muscle pig. You rolled your eyes and told him as much.

"Don't be a baby, muscle pig," You shoved at his bicep, only proving your point further when he didn't move an inch. ‘And I finished the tree.”

Instead, he caught the hand that you nudged him with and pulled your back to his chest, caging you between his arms. "Muscle pig, huh? That's what you think of me, baby?"

You flushed at the teasing lilt in his voice, suddenly very eager to escape his hold. But try as you might, he just wouldn't budge. A loud laugh left your throat as you flailed in his grasp, his muscled arms bulging in the turtleneck you bought him for his birthday a few months ago. Suddenly, you decided that you would be returning it for your own personal peace.

A high pitched whine left your mouth, one that lost all its seriousness once it was drowned out by your giggles. "Jungkook, let go of me!"

You would just not stop wiggling, and Jungkook could not stop laughing. He could live the rest of his life like this, his brain pauses to think. He's so happy.

And when you're thrashing so violently that your heel kicks his pocket with a force that has an object clattering onto the floor, Jungkook has never reacted faster in his life. Instantly your imprisonment is gone, and Jungkook is on your floor in a flash. Your eyebrows draw together at the sight of him scrambling for whatever it is, and all you're able to see is a sleek black case before he's quickly stuffing it back in his pocket.

You're eyeing him when he rises back on his feet. "Feel like sharing?"

Jungkook whistles noncommittally. "Not particularly, no."

There's a drawn-out beat of silence where you're just gazing at each other, neither one of you backing down. And then you're crossing your arms, and he's looking at your nose and your forehead and anywhere but your eyes, and then you're arching an eyebrow. He looks at you and breaks. Defeat.

"It's your present," He lets out a heavy sigh. "Well, the main one anyway."

You positively squeal. "Ooh! Can I see? Please?"

"Baby, it's the 20th."

"Can I have a hint?"

Jungkook blinks. "No, you cannot have a hint."

You're instantly pouting, but Jungkook expects that, because he knows you better than anyone else. Which is why he knows that you're a little spoiled, with a bit of a bratty streak, with just a dash of calculated charm that you use to your advantage to get just about anything you want. He's never seen it as a bad thing. In fact, he finds it cute. A little hot, too, if he's being truthful.

Anyway, he came prepared. Just as you're opening your mouth to no doubt make him spill the surprise, he's hushing you with a bruising kiss to your lips. The kind of kiss that makes you go pliant against him, the kind that makes you make a little noise in the back of your throat. The kind you've been waiting for all night. 

It’s the trick that never truly runs its course. 

And Jungkook is melting, too. Melting, turning to mush at your very feet, until you're moving backwards and clutching at his shoulders, ready to push him onto the couch.

"Mmm," He's humming against you, before he reluctantly draws back. He lets you chase his lips once, twice, before he chuckles lowly. "Hold on, angel."

You're suddenly feeling warm all over after his kisses, wanting nothing more than to cuddle into him into the couch and feel him next to you. Or maybe above you. With that chain you always tugged on dangling in your face. You really weren't picky.

You watched Jungkook break away from you and rummage through his bag with a frown and a newfound heat at the pit of your belly. "It can't wait?"

Like he said, he knows you, which means he knew kisses alone wouldn’t be able to satiate you nor get you to stop asking questions for the entire week. No matter how mind-numbing they may be.

"One second," He promised, and you definitely counted at least five, but he quickly found what he was looking for all the same. "I brought a surprise. Well, two surprises."

He was holding both of his hands behind his back with this stupid grin on his face. You squinted for a few seconds, suspicious, before breathing out a laugh. "Are you ever gonna show me?"

Jungkook looked way too happy with himself.

"The most important surprise is mistletoe, obviously. Gonna have to find a way to glue it on to the ceiling above your bed." And there was that mischievous little smile that told you he had every intention of carrying that out.

You folded your arms over your body and scoffed. Even if you were trying and failing to keep your lips from quirking up and possibly, maybe finding it a little harder to breathe all of a sudden. "You're unbelievable, Jeon."

He just winked and held up his other hand, pulling a gasp from your lips the second you realized what it was.

"The Polar Express!"

"I had to check like, four different stores in the mall to find it. That's why I got here a little late, by the way. But I thought we could make some hot chocolate like in the movie and watch it together and," Jungkook pauses to think, licking his lips. "There's a 'ride my train' joke in here somewhere but I don't know how to say it."

He's snorting at his own delivery before you are, and once your giggles permeate the air he's invading your space again with a lovesick smile.

"You are the sweetest boy," You praise, holding his pretty face with both hands and peppering small kisses all over it the way he secretly likes. "But you make me sick to my stomach sometimes."

If anything, this makes him smile even wider. "I love you too, baby."

You and Jungkook are in complete darkness besides the light coming from the TV in your room playing Polar Express. His head is on your shoulder with his arm strewn across your waist, and his entire leg slotted between yours. He's soft. He smells like the lavender body soap you keep in your shower. His gentle breaths hit your neck every time he exhales and you're now cliché enough to believe that the heart underneath you beats in tandem with yours. 

Both of your stomachs are filled from the takeout he ordered for dinner and the peppermint hot chocolate you made while he was in the shower. You're still mentally replaying the moment he stepped back in your room, towel wrapped around his waist with droplets of water cascading down his body. His prominent abs and tattoos and wet hair had you scrambling to sit up, clearing your throat as you tasked yourself with handing him his mug. If he noticed you ogling him, he surely didn’t react to it.

Made us some cocoa, you said.

He brought the beverage to his nose and sniffed once, twice, before his entire face bunched up. Peppermint is nasty. Then he was gulping it down.

I thought it was nasty, you laughed in disbelief.

Nothing you make me can be nasty. Thank you, baby.

And now you’re thoroughly warm from the tips of your fingertips down to your toes, and you figure it has less to do with the cocoa and more with the way Jungkook so obviously loves you. The way you love him.

Feeling a tugging at your shirt, you look down to see him peering up at you with a dazed twinkle in his eye. "You're not hot in this?"

You purse your lips and pause, knowing what was coming. "No. Are you?"

He has the decency to look a little clueless. He was always doing that, in a playfully childish way you grew to love.

"Actually, yeah I am," Jungkook furrows his brows, like it was something he was just now realizing. And then he's sitting up and pulling his shirt over his head, and you're instantly staring at his back and remembering the way it feels to rake your fingers up and down it, and he's turning back to you with a lazy smirk. "You don't wanna take yours off, angel?"

You swallow. "I'm okay."

Jungkook starts to laugh, that cocky laugh that is equal parts douchebag-ish and sexy. He's most definitely turning you on and he most definitely knows this, which is why you're glaring at him until he reaches over you and picks up the mistletoe from your bedside desk. He dangles it over your heads, makes sure to wriggle his eyebrows suggestively when he does it, and you want to laugh, you really do. You would probably roll your eyes and call him a nerd too while you were at it, if it weren't for the way he was changing his position and starting to lean over you. Crowding your space in your favorite way. 

Jungkook hears your breathing pick up once you're directly under him, watches the way your lips part and your eyes change for him, and decides to go for the kill.

Nothing about the kiss was soft or gentle. Jungkook clearly had a point to prove and knew how he wanted to do it. The dangling mistletoe was soon forgotten in favor of holding your face by your chin, landing with a chime on your wooden floors. He worked your mouth open in that sloppy, messy, dirty way he only exhibited when he was feeling particularly desperate. Saliva pooled at the corners of your mouth and you were trembling underneath him, clutching at the warm skin of his back. It was nasty, absolutely obscene the way his tongue was in your mouth like his life depended on it. And you loved it. You couldn't stop making these little sounds, and Jungkook was groaning into your mouth right along with you. You were seconds away from pleading for him to do anything he wanted, to make you his, when he's abruptly pulling from you with a wet pop and a string of saliva between you.

Your ragged breaths fill the air, both of your chests heaving as you take a second to attempt to drag yourself out of the haze he's built around you two.

The asshole has the audacity to laugh. "Hot yet?"

"You don't have to bring out the mistletoe to kiss me, you know." You eventually say instead.

"I know," He pants, still smiling like the all-consuming beauty he is. "But you love Christmas. And it's our first. Wanna do it right."

You feel the need to close your eyes, let his words sink in, and so you do. You let the statement blanket over you until you're positively beaming, and when you open your eyes, he is the same. You are so irreversibly in love and you think he might be perfect. You tell him as much.

"You're perfect," You say, all soft and starry eyed. You're nodding when he starts shaking his head, and when the tips of his ears begin to turn red and he's putting his head down, you're giggling and putting both hands on either side of his head to get his eyes back on yours. "I love you a lot."

Jungkook is so happy. "Love you most."

And then he's leaning down again. This kiss is much less frantic, more steady, but still passionate and still with Jungkook, which means it fills your body with heat all the same. Your head is floating and you're squirming under his hold again when you break apart for air.

There's no point in trying to resist him anymore. You never can.

"I'm gonna take my sweater off now."

Jungkook scrunches his nose, and grins. "Okay."

read part two here!

[starlit-serenade]

Along the Red Thread | Chapter 4

🧣 Summary: It is said that a red thread connects people who are soulmates and destined to be lovers, regardless of place and circumstances. What makes this difficult is that you stopped believing in love a long time ago. OR. You go to Korea to visit your father after several years. There, a mysterious red thread that seemingly only you can see shows up when you least expect it, and you meet a childhood friend you’d never thought you would see again.

🧣 Chapter 4: 3,500 words

🧣 Pairing: Reader x Kim Geonhak (Leedo) / Characters: GenderNeutral!Reader; Kim Geonhak (Leedo); Kim Youngjo (Ravn); Lee Seoho (Seoho); Lee Keonhee (Keonhee); Yeo Hwanwoong (Hwanwoong); Son Dongju/Xion; a couple of OCs;

🧣 Rated: T / Warnings: Mentions of divorce (Y/N’s parents); Mentions of abuse (physical); Instances of abuse (non-physical); Mentions of child abuse; Swearing / Genre: Angst; Fluff; Soulmate!AU (Red Thread of Fate); ChildhoodBestFriends!AU; Happy Ending;

《 Boy Group Masterlist // ONEUS Masterlist // Series Masterlist  》

You wake up early in the morning to the sun in your eyes. This room isn't familiar. It isn't your bedroom at home. And it isn't the bedroom at your father's apartment.

It takes you a moment to remember that this is Kim Geonhak's dorm with his group members, and that, after getting in an argument with your father, Geonhak allowed you to sleep on their couch.

You sit up and rub your eyes. You're still wearing the white T-shirt that Geonhak lent you. It's several sizes too big for you, and is very comfortable.

You hear the door open, and suddenly someone emerges from the bedroom door next to the couch. Kim Youngjo, the brown haired man you had met last night, comes out from the bedroom. He's wearing sweatpants and a white T-shirt with a design on the front.

"Oh, good morning," he says. He smiles his warm smile as he moves across the room toward the kitchen. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, I did, thank you," you say.

"Would you like breakfast?" he asks. "I don't make the best eggs out of the group--that's Geonhak--but I'm a close second."

You shake your head. "No thank you. I should probably head home, I don't want to be a bother and overstay my welcome."

"Oh, don't worry," Youngjo says. "We're all happy to have you here. Any friend of Geonhak is a friend of ours. Besides, he really likes you. You must have been really good friends when you were kids."

"He was there for me when no one else was," you say. "From when my father would scream at me and my mother for getting in his way. When my parents would fight and I couldn't stand it. When my parents finally got divorced after years of fighting. He was there for me, as a shoulder to cry on, a second home to stay at. He was my best friend. He was my home," you explain.

"That's sweet of him. I would tell you that he's a warm, sweet and kind person beneath his intimidating appearance, but it seems you already know that," Youngjo says. "And I don't know you well, but if you need any help, I am always open to talk to."

"Thank you. Like I said, though, I should get going. My father might be worried about me," you say. You've already gathered your clothes and put on your coat. "Thank you for letting me stay."

"Thank you for blessing us with your presence," he jokes. He walks over to the front door and holds the door open for you as you leave. "Stay safe on your way home."

"Thank you, Youngjo."

You exit and wave goodbye as Youngjo closes the door behind you. Then you sigh and walk down and out, bracing yourself for whatever you might encounter when you get back to your father's apartment.

The door creaks open and you push into the living room. Besides your light, careful footsteps, there isn't a single sound. Which isn't too much of a surprise. It's the weekend, so Sunho doesn't have school and neither of his parents, your father nor Sooyeon, have work today.

You head to your bedroom, close the door behind you, and plug in your phone to charge. There, you see several texts and calls from your father that you'd ignored from last night, begging you to return.

Last night, you had not felt safe at all. You'd wanted to stay at a hotel, but none were open. Perhaps you should stay at a hotel for the rest of your stay here in Korea. Maybe you would be--or at least feel--safer at a hotel.

As you start packing your stuff, suitcase on your bed with clothes folded inside, you don't hear the footsteps in the hallway. What you do hear is the door opening behind you. You turn around again and see your father, dressed in his work clothes, standing in the doorway.

"Y/N, where have you been all night? Your Eomma and I were up until midnight waiting for you last night," he says. His eyes drift over behind you, and settle on your suitcase. "Where are you going?

"I was thinking I might get a room at a hotel and stay there until I go home," you say, turning back to the suitcase, intentionally not meeting his eyes.

"What? Why?" he asks. You don't respond, not trusting your own voice. You're a little afraid that if you try to speak, your voice will break and you'll collapse from the inside out.

"Because of our argument last night?" your father asks, and you're already feeling bad for even thinking about staying elsewhere. "Y/N, are you kidding? It was an argument, leaving last night wasn't necessary--wanting to stay at a hotel isn't necessary!" He pauses. "Look. Y/N. I know that things have been difficult between us for the past few years. But I haven't seen you properly for so long, akd now you want to leave in the middle of your visit? Y/N, be reasonable. Please, I won't yell anymore. I just wanted you to try with your Eomma . . ."

There's a long silence, and you're left to respond to him. You feel so bad for leaving last night. It was unreasonable. It is unreasonable for you to want to leave . . .

You turn around, head hanging. You still can't look him in the eyes, but now it's much more because of shame.

"I'm . . . I'm sorry. You're right," you mumble, barely recognizing your own voice. You feel so small, sounds so small.

"It's alright," you hear your father say. "I have to finish getting ready for work, but how about you finish packing and relax. I'll take you, Eomma and Sunho out to a nice dinner tonight. How does that sound?"

You nod, but you really don't know what you think. Your brain is lagging behind a bit, you almost feel like you aren't in control of your body and mind. You feel lost.

"Perfect. And, do you think you could take Sunho to school today? He was asking about you all night after you left, I think he would want you to take him," your father says. Deep down, you know that this is your father manipulating you to stay through your little, five year old half brother. But on the other hand, you do care about Sunho.

"Sure," you say.

"Great."

Your father leaves the bedroom, and once you hear the door close, you blink and look up. You're back in control, but now you're just confused.

"I guess I'm staying," you mumble to yourself.

You remove everything from the suitcase and put them back where they were before. Really, you're confused about the past few minutes. You walked into this apartment this morning, expecting to leave with your things and get a room at a hotel where you'd feel so much physically and mentally safer. Instead, you have spoken to your father and somehow agreed to stay here.

After you finish folding your clothes again, you sit on your bed and lean with your back against the headboard and grab your phone. You can see several texts from 'Geonhak 🐥'. You click to see what he wrote.

Geonhak 🐥: Hey, where are you?

Geonhak 🐥: Are you okay? Are you safe?

Geonhak 🐥: Youngjo said you went home. I hope you're okay and safe. Please let me know.

Geonhak 🐥: Call me if you can? Let me know if you're ok.

You realize that you’re smiling stupidly at your phone. You're not only happy to have someone to listen to you, but you're also just happy to have a friend back.

You think back to when you two were kids. You would read together. You would play video games together, play on the playset together, despite being too old for it. You would spend hours talking, playing, and just hanging out.

You click the call button, and he picks up the phone almost right away. You wonder if he was waiting by the phone for your call.

"Y/N? Hey, are you okay?" he asks, his voice slightly muffled by the phone, but your heart flutters a bit at the sound of his voice still. "You weren't here when I woke up. I was hoping to maybe make you breakfast or something?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," you say, purposefully ignoring the fact that he wanted to make you breakfast. It's sweet of him. Really sweet.

"Do you need any help getting a hotel? Or do you have that figured out?"

You pause. "I'm staying at my father's apartment."

"But what about yesterday? Didn't something happen? Isn't that why you needed a place to stay?"

"Yeah . . . I talked to my dad and . . . well, he apologized," you say. "He said he wouldn't be like that again."

"But . . ." Geonhak sighs. "Alright. If anything happens again . . . if you need a place to stay, the dorm is always available."

"Thanks, Geonhak."

There's a long pause. You can feel him wanting to speak on the other end of the phone. And you also want to tell him that you can't find the words for.

That while you've agreed to stay here at your father's apartment, you actually would so much rather stay at ONEUS's dorm. You hate it here, and you have no idea why you agreed to stay when you had come back planning to leave and stay at a hotel instead.

"Y/N, I'm worried about you," Geonhak says.

Now would be the perfect time to tell him exactly what you're thinking.

"You don't have to worry," you say. "I'm an adult. I can get a hotel if I need to. And I can call you if I ever need help."

Geonhak sighs. "Alright."

You nod, and are about to wish him goodbye when he speaks again.

"Hey . . . would you like to hang out today? Or tomorrow? Maybe go to the library or something?"

You smile, and almost giggle into your phone. Your cheeks are warm. "Yeah. Sure. I'm busy today, my father wants me to take Sunho to school and then I have some reading to do. But tomorrow works."

"Alright. Who's Sunho?"

"Oh. My dad's kid. My half brother. He's six."

"Oh, cute!" Geonhak exclaims. "Would you like me to come with you to take him to school? I'm good with kids, I swear."

"Aren't you busy?"

"No. My schedule today is flexible."

You smile. "Alright. I can text you my father's address and we'll take Sunho to school. See you soon."

Sunho is clinging on tightly to your hand as you leave the apartment building together. When he saw you after he finished brushing his teeth, he almost burst into tears. You apologized to him for not reading to him last night, until he calmed down and finished getting ready for school.

As you exit the building, you see Geonhak standing further down the sidewalk. His clothes are plain--jeans, a black T-shirt and white overshirt and glasses--so he doesn't stand out too much, but you recognize him right away.

He sees you at the same time and smiles, walking over to you and Sunho. You blink, surprised by how handsome he looks now that it's the daytime. Not that he wasn't handsome last night when you stayed over.

Geonhak bends down in front of Sunho, so that their faces are at around the same height.

"Hi," Geonhak says in such a sweet and gentle voice that catches you by surprise. He holds up his hand for Sunho to hi-five. Sunho does, indeed, hi-five him, and you watch Geonhak's smile widen. "I'm Kim Geonhak," he says softly. "You must be Sunho."

Sunho looks up at you, and you nod. He nods back at Geonhak.

"I'm friends with your sibling Y/N," Geonhak says. "How old are you, Sunho?"

Sunho raises his hands.

"Six? Woah! You're so tall for a six year old. Are you the tallest in your class?" Geonhak asks. Sunho nods. "Cool. I'm going to be coming with Y/N to take you to school. Is that alright with you?"

Sunho nods.

"Great." Geonhak looks up at you with the most adorable smile you've ever seen on his face as he stands up straight.

"I see that you wanted to say hello to Sunho before saying hello to me," you joke. You gently tug at Sunho's hand and he follows you and Geonhak down the sidewalk, toward the bus stop you use to get to Sunho's school.

"I wanted to be friendly with him first," Geonhak explains. "Didn't want him to think I was just some stranger."

You nod.

"Are you alright? Last night was a lot, I think, for you," Geonhak says.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Can we talk about it after?" you ask. You glance at Sunho, trying to signal to Geonhak, not in front of Sunho. He seems to get the message, and nods.

"Right. Sorry." He looks at Sunho and smiles. "Sunho, is it okay if I hold your hand while we walk?"

Sunho nods his head while smiles widely and holds his hand out to Geonhak, who takes it and smiles at you.

"So, Sunho," Geonhak says. His voice is soft and gentle, shocking now that you're used to his deep voice. "What do you like to do for fun?"

Sunho thinks for a second. "I like reading. Y/N reads an English book to me at night!"

"Oh? Do they?" Geonhak smiles over at you, and you swear your heart starts to beat a bit faster. His smile is really . . . lovely. "What books?"

"Y/N reads me 'The Kiss . . .'" Sunho frowns, scrunching up his face while trying to remember. "'The Kissing Hand'! It's in English."

"Oh? I've never read it. Is it good? Do you like it?" Geonhak asks. Sunho nods. Watching the way Geonhak smiles at Sunho is adorable. He's so good with kids, and you can tell he's having a lot of fun.

"Yeah! It's my favorite English book!"

"Oh, I should read it sometime then."

You laugh a bit and Geonhak looks at you curiously. "Geonhak, it's a kids book."

"I'd love to read a kids book," Geonhak says. "Sunho, would you want me to read you a book sometime?"

Sunho nods.

You, Sunho and Geonhak board the semi-crowded bus. You stand, one hand holding Sunho's while the other grips the pole for stability as the bus starts to move. Geonhak stands behind you, his hand holding the pole above yours.

"Did you know Y/N disappeared last night?" Sunho asks. "I got really scared. It was night time and I was scared they were gonna get lost. But they came back this morning."

"Right," Geonhak says, looking at you. "You don't have to worry. Y/N was with me! I made sure that they were safe, and protected them."

Sunho's face lights up brightly. "Really? Thank you for protecting Y/N, Mr. Kim! I was scared Y/N wasn't going to be able to take me to school today."

"Do you like school, Sunho?" Geonhak asks. Sunho nods quickly with the biggest smile on his face. "Do you have friends at school?"

"Yeah!" Sunho says, grinning. "I have my best friend Areum. Areum likes reading too! And also my other friends."

You smile down at Sunho, then over at Geonhak. Geonhak's smiling down at Sunho with the most precious smile you've ever seen. He's got little tiny dimples, you notice. And his eyes are like little crescents because he's smiling so hard.

You shake your head and look back at Sunho.

The bus comes to a halt at the bus stop outside of Sunho's school. You and Geonhak dismount with him, and walk over to the sidewalk. You kneel in front of him and fix his shirt.

"You're gonna have a good day, right?" you ask. He nods, and you hold up your hand for a high five. "Good. Have a good day at school, okay Sunho?" you say.

"Okay!" He nods and high fives you.

"Give Geonhak one too," you say. He walks over to Geonhak, who raises both of his hands and gives him two high fives. Sunho lets out a giggle, and you can tell from the way he's grinning that he likes Geonhak.

You and Geonhak wave Sunho off as he walks the rest of the way to school, joining his friends. You both watch as he walks with them toward the school building, laughing and talking.

"He really likes you," you say, eyes still on Sunho. You can see Geonhak look at you out of the corner of your eye. "I can tell. You made him really happy."

"That's nice to hear." There's a pause. "Do you want to go to get drinks with me?" he asks "Coffee or tea or smoothies?"

You nod. "Smoothies sound nice."

"I know a place we can walk to from here," he says. He reaches for your hand, but stops himself and smiles.

"This way," he says, nodding his head down the road. You follow him as he starts walking, considering what flavor of smoothie you want to get.

"Is Sunho your half brother, then?" he asks, after a minute of silence. You nod.

"Yeah. We have the same father. But his mother is Sooyeon," you explain. "I actually never met Sunho before I visited. He's a sweet kid. I hope that my father treats them better than he treated me and my mom."

Geonhak nods. "About this morning . . . are you okay?"

You nod. "Yeah."

"I thought you were planning to stay at a hotel tonight? But you said you aren't? What happened with that?" he asks. "I don't want to be invasive, so if you don't want to tell me, that's alright."

"No, it's okay. When I went to my father's apartment to pack my stuff, my father confronted me. He apologized, I think. And asked me to give him another chance. He promised not to do anything threatening or aggressive anymore."

Geonhak nods. "He said that a lot when we were kids, too. 'I won't do it again.' 'I'll do better next time.' Forgiving is alright, but if you keep doing it every time, he'll only do it more."

"I know," you murmur. "But I guess I want to believe that now that he has this new family, he's changed."

Geonhak sighs. "That makes sense. Just remember, you can always call me for help, Y/N."

You smile. "Thank you, Geonhak. I . . . really appreciate you letting me stay over last night. Your members were very nice to meet."

"You think so?" Geonhak asks, laughing a bit. "They liked you. I think Seoho would have spent time intentionally telling you every embarrassing thing I've ever done if he could."

"Oh?" You raise an eyebrow at him, grinning evilly. "Well, then I guess Seoho and I have some catching up to do."

He sighs and rolls his eyes. "Whatever. It's not like you haven't seen my embarrassing self when I was in school with you."

You grin. "You were pretty embarrassing back then."

"So were you! There's the smoothie stand."

You both line up for the smoothies, and he helps you decide on which flavor to get and helps you order. You grin at him as he hands you your smoothie.

"You know," you start, "besides last night, you and I haven't really hung out yet. Which is a shame, since we haven't hung out in years."

"True. I'd love to walk Sunho to school with you more, if you'd allow me," he chuckles, sipping from his own drink.

"You're really good with kids," you note. "Or, at least, with Sunho."

"Right. I'm studying early childhood education, so it's only natural that I've learned a bit about how to work with kids."

"That's cute," you blurt out. Geonhak gives you a shy, smiley look, similar to the adoring look he gave Sunho.

"Cute?"

You roll your eyes and nudge him. "Yeah, sure. Cute. Don't let it get to your head, though. Sunho is still cuter than you."

Geonhak gasps, feigning shock, and places his hand in surprise in mock offense. "Really? I'm offended." He chuckles a bit.

You can feel your face heating up from the way he looks at you. You clear your throat and look away. "Uh, yeah. I'd love it if you could join me and Sunho in the mornings, whenever you can. But that's not what I meant."

"Oh?" He tilts his head curiously.

"What I meant was actually hanging out. As friends. Maybe we could go to the library or park or something," you say. "Maybe see a movie."

He grins. "Sure. Have you been sightseeing yet?"

You shake your head. Your father hasn't really taken you anywhere since you arrived. If anything, you've spent most of your time here as Sunho's babysitter and a shopper for Sooyeon.

"No? Maybe I could . . . take you sightseeing?" he offers. You nod.

"I'd like that."

[buckyshenley16]

The Tales Of The Winter Soldeir and Winter Witch

Book1, Chapter 1

3 Years before Bucky was drafted

February 5th, 1940

Ramona’s POV

Putting my stacks of paperwork on my desk ready for tomorrow as my work day comes to an end, I find myself sighing in relief after a long day of again getting nowhere with the ‘Jeweler Case.’ It seems to be a never-ending case as this is our second week trying to solve the jewelry store robbery and who did what and when, why, and so on.

“Lover boy is on the phone Ramona.” Peggy gloats with a smug grin on her face purposely making sure the speaker was not covered.

“Like I’ve told you almost a hundred times Carter, he is not my lover boy.” I exclaim emphasizing the word ‘not’ with an eye roll and taking the phone off her. “Why hello Buck, what would you be calling to ask the 3rd time today?” I ask with a slight chuckle whilst throwing a rubber at Peggy who is winking at me.

“Just checking before I leave to walk you home doll, did you bring a jacket today? It’s freezing outside and I can see your jacket still hung up, would hate for ya to catch a cold especially when you live with someone with an immune system like Steve.” Bucky says, his Brooklyn drawl being clearer than ever.

“You know, I do have more than one coat Buck?” I ask. “Just checking Mona, I didn’t walk you today so I didn’t see what you left in. Just seen what you woke up in or should I say what you didn’t wake up in.” Bucky asks with a hint of flirting and a hint of cockiness in his voice.

“Yes, and if you carry on with your Mr, big ego act that’ll be the last time you see that, Barnes.” I retort.

“Okay we both know that’s not the truth. Anyway, I’m bouta leave doll, will be there in half an hour, will wait in the usual spot.”

“Not true but okay, see you soon Buck” I say trying not to drop the phone from between my ear and shoulder whilst locking my cabinets. “See you soon, darlin'.” Bucky finishes before putting the phone down.

Bucky and I had known each other since being 6 and 9 being introduced by our friend Steve. Steve had been like a big brother growing up, Sarah being nothing but welcoming to my family when we fled to Brooklyn from Russia. Sarah and my mother would both take turns between childcare; me, my three younger sisters and brother being at the Rogers’ every Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and half the day Sunday whilst mother would go to work at the laundry where Sarah also worked.

And obviously Steve would be at our house every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Every Sunday we would have dinner at the Rogers’ with our mother. Our father stayed in Russia with mother wanting to flee a situation I wasn’t told about until I was old enough to understand. Father was abusive and an alcoholic and had a job mother didn’t agree with, but we were never told what that job entailed and whilst I found myself wondering every so often, curiosity never killed the cat and I was enormously proud of that.

Bucky, Steve, and I were best friends growing up with Bucky and Steve being stupidly overprotective of me even when I became a fully trained agent and officially full time at SSR. My mother never 100% agreed with my job and whilst Bucky and Steve questioned it at first for my safety, but once they realised I could handle myself (after witnessing me defend myself against a couple of not so nice men who got a bit too close for my comfort) they were 100% supportive of my job, especially Bucky with one less person to save from the allies and one more person to help when Steve found himself on the not so nice ends of the alleys face first into the trash cans.

It was around 18 years old I'd started developing feelings for Bucky, not that I’d never admit it to him, I was far too proud and full of denial for that because he would never go for a girl like myself; at least that’s what I thought until I found myself intertwined in his sheets with his body wrapped around mine after one passionate, unexpected night a year later.

This went from happening every few weeks, to every two weeks, to maybe once a week to every few nights and I’m still in denial that he would ever want to make things official.

I question whether I want to become his girl, especially with my line of work and seeing my parent’s relationship be the bane of their lives when I was younger. All I’ve ever seen is relationships fail and that is why I refuse to put myself through the pain of one. I care about Bucky, he’s the one person who no matter how rotten the day be I’m guaranteed to have a smile on my face when I see him.

When Sarah died both mine and Bucky's families became close ensuring two big family units to support Steve and even a year and a half after she passed; me, Bucky and Steve got a shared apartment together. Sure, it was no five stars, but it was home and as long as the three of us had each other that was all that mattered. Steve was aware of mine and Bucky's “situation” but chose not to get involved.

Stuck in my own little world I'd not realised half an hour had passed and Bucky would be waiting for me so after grabbing my coat and bag I made sure to say bye to Peggy and arrange coffee and breakfast before work tomorrow morning where we could discuss some of the cases privately, seen as though we knew we were massively undermined at SSR we got a lot of thinking and solving done mostly when we were alone together where no male could underestimate or interrupt us.

Walking down out of the doors I spotted Bucky with a glowing grin on his face, it took everything to keep my footing steady. “Hello, beautiful. How would you feel about hot chocolate and dinner on me at our spot?” Bucky asked holding his arm out to me which I gladly took.

“Gee buck, almost sounds like you’re asking me on a date!” I tease earning a nudge to my side causing a fit of laughter.

“One day doll, I’ve already asked several times but one day I will get a yes out of ya.” Bucky retorted.

“I’ll hold you to that Buck, how was your day?” I asked clinging to his arm.

“The usual, woke up to a fine dame next to me, crappy coffee, got to work. Left work, pulled Steve out of an ally, nagged Steve how he’s not ten men and should think before he acts, walked the little punk back to the apartment, read the paper and now I'm here to pick up you. How bout you doll?” Bucky explains with a hint of sarcasm.

“Same old, really strugglin’ with this case I just can’t seem to understand how a whole jewelry store could be robbed without even a fingerprint left behind nor how someone could even get a hold of that damn gas. How many men was it today? Did you or Steve get hurt?” you ask with a sigh giving Bucky's arm a reassuring squeeze.

“Hey Mona, don’t worry too much about it, we both know you’ll get to the bottom of it like always and I’m sure whoever’s guilty will regret it when they have to face the bottom of your shoe. Two guys, managed to reason with them after giving one a right hook.” he winked.

“Oh, I know I will, thanks Buck I can always rely on you for some good old confidence boosting. I give up telling the jackass he’s gotta stop this, I may as well be talking to a brick wall!” I finish with a chuckle. As we walk into the bright, retro diner Bucky holds the door open for me before guiding us both to a booth. As we take our coats off a waitress comes to us.

“Well would ya look who it is, only our two favorites! Where’s Rogers tonight?” Our waitress Nancy asks.

“Probably at home bathing his black eye, sulking about his fight whilst planning his next one.” I exclaim earning a laugh from both Bucky and Nancy.

“I don’t even gotta ask, usual for you two?” Nancy asks pointing between us both with her pen.

“Of course!” Bucky says with a grin

“That’s two hot chocolates and a portion of fries coming up!” Nancy exclaims.

“Thanks, Nance!” we both call.

Me, Bucky and Steve have been coming to this diner since we were in school. Their hot chocolates were practically the glue to our friendships. As I looked up from my hands, I spotted Bucky looking at me with a smile on his face. “What’s got you all smiley?” I ask with a grin.

“Just you!” Bucky exclaims grin turning wider.

“Are you purposely trying to make me blush?” I ask with a chuckle feeling warmth go to my face praying my blusher somewhat cancels the blushing.

“Always doll, I just like to make ya blush and to know I’ve still got it.” Bucky explains with a cocky smirk. Damn you and your godly smile Barnes!

“Glad my embarrassment gives you an even bigger ego boost Buck!” I laugh before our food and drinks get set down and we start tucking in.

*An hour later, on the way home from diner*

“Thank you for that Buck, it was fun. Was nice to be sat anywhere but that office.” I explain.

“S’alright doll, anything to put a smile on your face. I wanted to actually talk to you. This, us been goin' on a little while too long now.” Bucky stopped walking and turned me to face him taking both my hands in his.

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” I ask feeling my heart rip into two.

“Yeah, doll.” he grins.

“Oh okay, no I totally get it Buck we’re kinda not going anywhere and I’m really not ready to put myself into a relationship right now and you wanna move on or you’ve already found a girl. I get it, no hard feelings.” I say holding back the tears.

“Woah doll, no no! You’re completely taking it the wrong way. Mona, I like you, scratch that I’m crazy bout you. I understand you don’t wanna take this further just yet, but I can wait,” he says cupping my face in his hands looking into my eyes.

“Buck, I appreciate that so much but there’s so many better girls throwing themselves at you and you’re going to waste them just to wait for me? I could make you wait years and I wouldn’t want that.” I explain placing my hands over his.

“I don’t want them other girls, I want you. You’re the most beautiful, loyal, caring, and bad ass girl I’ve ever met. I will wait as long as you want me to if it means I can have you. Just please tell me you feel the same.” he begs his eyes searching my face for any sign of feeling the same.

“I do Buck, I have for a while.” I admit a small smile making its way to my lips. Bucky gently strokes his thumb across my bottom lip before pulling me in for a sweet, loving kiss. It was suddenly like it was just the pair of us that existed, nobody mattering in that moment but us two. Bucky pulled away keeping his hands on my face, placing his forehead against mine. “I got you, doll” he says before pulling me into his chest resting his chin on my head, wrapping his arms around my shoulders tightly; sighing contently.

“I got you too, Buck.” I reply wrapping my arms around his waist and smiling contently to myself.

“Let’s get home to the punk before he can’t help but lead himself to another alley huh.” Bucky says whilst linking our arms together and directing us both out of the park.

“We should probably check the alleys on our way back Buck.” I suggest

“Glad we're on the same page doll.” Bucky chuckles.

So, It’s the first of many chapters🤩 I’m so so excited!! Just wanted to give a shout out to @i-write-bucky and @jbarness for proof reading this for me!! Angels🤩❤️

[thebluelemontree]

Do you like Willas x Sansa ?? Yes the Tyrells wanted her for her claim, but I think we are supposed to believe the things said about Willas and that he is indeed a good man. He is set up as different as the other Tyrells ( He is friends with Oberyn while all the other Tyrells hate him) and Sansa certainly needed a break from all the abuse she has endured. She spent an entire chapter thinking about the idea of marrying him... I think this might pay off eventually but I'm not sure.

Willas as an individual is probably a decent guy from what little we know about him.  That information comes to us second hand, but I don’t think there’s a reason to doubt its veracity either.  Willas as an individual is not the problem though.  I don’t get the impression any of the Tyrell siblings are really bad people as individuals, so I don’t agree that he is the “different” one in that sense.  Yeah, he doesn’t hold a grudge against Oberyn as he sensibly shouldn’t and they exchanged some friendly letters, but when it comes to politics, revenge, and family interests they are not really friends either.  (I suspect bookish Willas was probably a little relieved at having the knightly career that was pushed on him too soon by his father ended early.  Now he could devote himself to the intellectual pursuits he enjoys without that pressure).  

The inescapable problem lies in that all the siblings were raised with the strict idea of an “our family interests first” mentality as much as the Lannisters, they just go about it differently for the most part.  This isn’t an usual mentality for any noble family, but the Tyrells and Lannisters are playing a much higher stakes game than the norm.  What lengths they are willing to go to win reflect that.  It was the Tyrells that cut off the food supply to KL causing the mass starvation and suffering of the smallfolk.  Then when Margaery arrives in the city, she comes handing out food and soaking up all the love and support of the people.  It’s not any less ruthless and exploitative just because their violence is hidden behind a virtuous and kind public face.  Margaery is not the problem though.  When it comes to her as an individual, Margaery probably would choose to be a kind and decent human being no better or worse than the average person.  I get that impression from Garlan as well in the way he treats Sansa.  Even hot-headed Loras can be courteous toward her.  But those are situations where it also doesn’t cost them anything to be nice or it is in their best interest to be nice.  The problem lies in what cause the Tyrell siblings serve and at what expense to other people, specifically Sansa in this case.  And the siblings we’ve met are clearly acting as a mutually-supporting unit when it comes to doing their part for House Tyrell.  They marry who they are told and fill the roles that advance their collective ambitions.  Why should I assume Willas would be exceptional just because he’s remained off page for now and we haven’t met him personally yet?  

 The plot to marry Sansa to Willas is not that different in essence than the Lannisters marrying Sansa to Tyrion.  It all revolves around the basic idea for Sansa’s claim.  Let’s just review exactly how Sansa becomes heir to Winterfell in the first place… oh yeah, the entire male line of her family has to be snuffed out first.  The Tyrell proposal comes before the Red Wedding, which they were not a part of, but they did at that point decide to side with the Lannisters against any other would be kings.  So anyone that marries Sansa for “her claim” has to be okay with (or be willing to hasten along) Robb’s demise and his line ended so they can pick at the carcass of House Stark like vultures.  This isn’t really a marriage we’re talking about, it’s an act of war.  Sansa is the daughter of the disgraced traitor Ned Stark, sister to the rebel pretender Robb Stark, and the king’s cast off.  She’s damaged goods and no one wants to associate with her or appear sympathetic to her at court.  Her claim is literally her only selling point as a prospective bride for these people.  Without a payoff to her claim, they gain nothing from the marriage.  

This fact is the elephant in the room.  It’s not any less true just because Sansa doesn’t realize what they are up to at first as Sansa has never considered herself in line to inherit.  We see this is absolutely the case as they drop her like a hot potato as soon as they don’t have access to her claim anymore with her ambush marriage to Tyrion.  Their highly conditional friendship and support was withdrawn.  Even Garlan and his wife, Leonette, who seemed to be expressing concern at first for Sansa’s well-being only advised acceptance of her situation in the end and to try to see the best in her new husband.  So at the very best, there’s a little bit of sympathy, but not enough to move any Tyrell to help her in a meaningful way.  Sansa is just the kind of person though that is grateful for any crumb of kindness, but let’s be real, they were planning on using her in the exact same way for the same reasons.  They just did it with honey instead of threatening her with violence.        

I would suspect much like Tyrion that Willas would be far from stupid about the implications of marrying Sansa for her claim.  As an individual, Willas might find exploiting Sansa in such a way distasteful, but he could also rationalize it as Tyrion does by trying to be kind and gentle with her in other ways.  So what if he wouldn’t physically abuse Sansa?  So what if he would treat her with bare minimum human decency?  So what if he might make a good faith effort to give her as comfortable a life as possible?  That’s only glossing over the underlying truth that Sansa’s worth is inextricably tied to Robb’s death.  Willas doesn’t get to be the good guy or “different” from the rest of his family if he would also be complicit in serving their shitty self interests at her and her loved ones’ expense.  That’s not kind or doing the right thing by Sansa.  You don’t get to have it both ways and I think the narrative is pretty clear on that.                  

I don’t see the time she spends contemplating Willas as that being where Sansa’s heart truly lies.  Any sane person would give that option serious thought if your only choices are between that, placing your trust in the hands of an alcoholic slob, or to continue being the prisoner of your violent, sadistic ex.  Is that a sight unseen based only on the word of people she just met choice Sansa would make freely on her own if she wasn’t strapped to the ticking time-bomb that is Joffrey?   

We have to remember Sansa is being sold on the idea of Willas, so of course his good qualities (even if they are completely true) are being overly emphasized to gain her cooperation when it comes time to spirit her away.  They are playing up how gentle and docile of a man he is, because they know Joffrey is not those things.  If you recall, all her initial enthusiasm was reserved for when she briefly thought they were offering her a match to Loras, who was already her crush.

The words came tumbling out of her. "Yes. I will. I would like that more than anything. To wed Ser Loras, to love him . . ."

Her instinctive reaction reveals that having passion for her husband is still an important component of marriage for her.  She’s 100% on board not because she’s thinking “gee, Loras is so docile and harmless,” but because she finds him so damn hot and he stirs her passion.  His youthful vigor and athleticism excite her.  Sansa likes her men just a bit rowdy as well as gallant; however, when she learns it’s Willas they are proposing, her heart sinks and she starts getting very worried and hesitant.  She doesn’t know Willas just as she didn’t know Joffrey.  Margaery’s job thereafter is to bond with Sansa and keep assuring her that Willas is the greatest, sweetest, most harmless guy ever. 

Let me just digress a bit... I totally see why some readers would find this appealing.  But consider other than hawking maybe, she and Willas don’t have much in common from what we know so far.  He enjoys academic studies and nerding out over strategically breeding the best hawks and horses.  There is nothing wrong with that, but those aren’t Sansa’s interests and they are more individual pursuits.  She does like some animals, but she doesn’t care for horses and riding.  She’s definitely academically smart, but for fun she enjoys music, dance, poetry, fashion, and being a social butterfly.  I could see Sansa and Willas liking each other and having a sort of companionate, pleasant enough marriage, but do I think she would naturally fall in romantic love with him or he with her?  No.  I would see them living basically separate lives with only their children in common.  Okay, back to Sansa’s thoughts on Willas after the proposal...

Sansa then begins to start selling herself on the idea of Willas as she is faced with the prospect of marriage to a stranger in exchange for escaping her abusers.  On the surface it seems like she is willing and very happy, but there is an underlying feeling of doubt and trepidation that she is trying to silence.  Once she makes her decision to go ahead with the Tyrells, the only psychologically tolerable course of action is to convince herself everything is FINE and that she is freely giving her enthusiastic consent to the match.  It’s not as easy for her to do as it once was with looking past some of Joffrey’s disturbing behavior.  There’s a lot of struggle with this one. 

         I’ve already mentioned that she’s primarily motivated to accept because of the pressure of Joffrey’s escalating abuse as more time goes by.  Other factors in how Sansa thinks about Willas include:

She is terribly lonely and isolated as she is the daughter of a traitor that no one wants to associate with.  She seems more seduced by the feelings of sisterhood and family that Margaery gives her than the idea of Willas.   

Her own mother and father role modeled a happy marriage despite being arranged.  Sansa, being at heart an optimist, holds out hope this could work out for the best if she makes it work.    

She fears offending the Tyrells by not appearing sufficiently keen on Willas as they are highly influential and powerful.  “Loras?” Lady Olenna sounded annoyed. “Don’t be foolish, child. Kingsguard never wed. Didn’t they teach you anything in Winterfell? We were speaking of my grandson Willas. He is a bit old for you, to be sure, but a dear boy for all that. Not the least bit oafish, and heir to Highgarden besides."                                  Sansa felt dizzy; one instant her head was full of dreams of Loras, and the next they had all been snatched away. Willas? Willas? "I,” she said stupidly. Courtesy is a lady’s armor. You must not offend them, be careful what you say. “I do not know Ser Willas. I have never had the pleasure, my lady. Is he … is he as great a knight as his brothers?”

Her anxieties and dissatisfaction with the way Dontos is handling their initial escape plan.  By comparison, the Tyrell’s plan just seems more reliable and competent at succeeding, despite her doubts.  

The way Sansa sells herself on Willas is very telling.   

Sometimes she would whisper his name into her pillow just to hear the sound of it. “Willas, Willas, Willas.” Willas was as good a name as Loras, she supposed. They even sounded the same, a little. What did it matter about his leg? Willas would be Lord of Highgarden and she would be his lady.She pictured the two of them sitting together in a garden with puppies in their laps, or listening to a singer strum upon a lute while they floated down the Mander on a pleasure barge. If I give him sons, he may come to love me. She would name them Eddard and Brandon and Rickon, and raise them all to be as valiant as Ser Loras. And to hate Lannisters, too. In Sansa’s dreams, her children looked just like the brothers she had lost. Sometimes there was even a girl who looked like Arya.

She could never hold a picture of Willas long in her head, though; her imaginings kept turning him back into Ser Loras, young and graceful and beautiful. You must not think of him like that, she told herself. Or else he may see the disappointment in your eyes when you meet, and how could he marry you then, knowing it was his brother you loved? Willas Tyrell was twice her age, she reminded herself constantly, and lame as well, and perhaps even plump and red-faced like his father. But comely or no, he might be the only champion she would ever have.  – Sansa II, ASOS.

I must take [the new gown] with me to Highgarden. She wanted to look beautiful for Willas Tyrell. Even if Dontos was right, and it is Winterfell he wants and not me, he still may come to love me for myself. Sansa hugged herself tightly, wondering how long it would be before the gown was ready. She could scarcely wait to wear it. – Sansa II, ASOS

“You are very beautiful, my lady,” the seamstress said when she was dressed.“I am, aren’t I?” Sansa giggled, and spun, her skirts swirling around her. “Oh, I am.” She could not wait for Willas to see her like this. He will love me, he will, he must … he will forget Winterfell when he sees me, I’ll see that he does. – Sansa III, ASOS.

Sansa is trying very hard to imagine herself with Loras Willas, but she is definitely policing her own thoughts and feelings here.  She tells herself she must never reveal her feelings for Loras as it might upset Willas and the offer of their protection may be rescinded.  “He might be the only champion she would ever have,” so she must bury any reluctant feelings and pretend Willas is the only man she has eyes for.  She makes herself fantasize about how great it’s going to be being the lady of Highgarden to make married life to Willas more convincingly palatable for herself; however, by her own admission, she can’t maintain that fantasy without it dissolving into the truth of who she would rather be with.  I don’t get any sense Sansa is hopeful she will truly love Willas, but that’s not important.  Making him love her is.  Her safety and security depend on it.  And she must ensure that she is so physically attractive and so palatable to Willas, that he will “forget about Winterfell.”  So yes, she is consciously worried that she’s going from one bad situation to another.  She doesn’t want another family to take Winterfell from hers ever, which is why she expresses such determination to make him love her so deeply that the idea being complicit in harming her family would be unthinkable.  This is not love.  It’s a strategy for survival.

This is just so fucking sad honestly and as a product of her upbringing, it is one of the few tools available to her in a situation where she will be effectively powerless.  Sansa is betting everything on Willas and she knows she must earn her keep with being the perfect, pleasing wife.  Beautiful, accommodating, whatever makes him happy, never rocking the boat, never letting on there is another man she prefers, and above all giving him heirs.  Sansa truly wants to be loved for the person she is and she does hope that will end up being the case with Willas, but for all that reassuring self-talk she’s not leaving anything to chance either.  Despite her naivete and trusting nature, I think Sansa’s thinking reveals she has a pretty accurate sense of what is expected of her in return for the Tyrell’s help and she is already devising a strategy on how she can steer Willas away from claiming Winterfell.       

So no, I don’t think this is a good match for her at all.  I don’t even think it makes sense story wise.  Sansa’s trajectory is taking her father and farther north to re-establish her roots and identity.  We get no such impression that Willas is going to be leaving Highgarden anytime soon with the Ironborn invading the Reach or that Sansa is going to entertain the idea of going south again.  There’s really nothing to write home about here.  Once Sansa is among allies loyal to the Starks, such a marriage option (in the unlikely event it ever gets brought up again) doesn’t offer her any advantages at that point.  She won’t be the same helpless hostage with limited choices in need of protection from the Lannisters.  I think that ship sank before it even left the dock and Sansa herself never once thought about Willas since she escaped KL.  She can’t even fantasize about Loras anymore once she accepts that no Tyrell would ever give Alayne Stone the time of day.  In her true hour of need when she could have really used their help and moral support, the Tyrells abandoned her.  So even if the idea of marrying Willas came up again, I think Sansa doesn’t even have to think about it.  It’s going to be a hard pass.           

[sw3etcreatur]

IGHT the irl meet mashup panic 3rd wheel hangout that was supposed to be a cute date n make out thing a story for me to read 03.27.22

first off all this dude was supposed to go to work but called off cuz he was feeling sick ANYWAY

friend R didn’t confirm w me he wanted to hang till i was already on campus (and an hour before too lyke), but hm partly my fault for agreeing and leading that it would be fine to hang that day on short notice

okay fast track to earlier mans says r u down i say ya im down blah blah then he sends a spotify link and says he has tix to see this artist next week but silly me didn't click the link or look up if the artist was act touring and said coo nice dood will listen to it later! anyway proceeds to tell me he's on his way cue me excited nervous blushing looking forward to it (in an hour ish also i was so hungry, shouldve ate lunch to avoid this coming MESS)

anyway SILLY ME AGAIN i had made plans w another friend S for later lunch/early dinner food and instead of cancelling on one or the other, i keep both hang outs. mind you these r two completely different people. i tell S that i was meeting with R also but forgot to tell R that S was gonna be hanging with us, at least for food. my b

friend gets here, im sitting with a diff friend J and introduce them and they bond over the alchemist since J was reading that okay then S gets here a little later im like omg s <3_<3 and we tell J byeeee time for food

now, friend said he already ate so i assumed he wouldn't eat so i would buy him a drink or something bc i was fs gonna eat i was hungryyy but no this man gets food anyway and enjoys his bowl and im like oh? bc also i knew he probs didnt want to spend money? he mentioned that a couple days ago about saving i was like yeah valid totally b i'm like that too blah blah he gets up at some point to throw his trash away and s asks if we're dating im like babes we just met for the first time in person today after texting/facetiming for a week hahaah B HE ALSO SAYS I HAVE H03S, u r my ho likeeeee

OKAY ANYWAY,.. this is where my biggest mistake was made (maybe)... i ask S what her plans are after food and she says nothing im like oop i look at friend and i'm like idek we have no plans either but im dumb i think we had a d*te and i stupidly go like oh! movies? and then i'm like okay fryft to my place even frikin though i specifically told friend he would not be seeing my apartment day 1 of meet up im so dumb yall 1. i should've told S bye see u next week, 2. that's it i should told her bye but .... bro i panicked i just didnt know how to tell s no i wanna be alone with a boy ugh i cant say no to ppl and deep down i've been wanting to hang w s for minute now

we go back to my place, give them a tour blah blah kinda awkward grrrr im a terrible hostess blah blah yay arrived to my bland apartment <3 friend has not really said a word <3 i feel awful but i didnt know why just yet*

we watch some amazon prime then peaky blinders and not even half way friend is like oki gtg dont wanna get home too late (he seems annoyed lmaoooo) and i walk him down to the train station (s asked if i wanted her to come and walk him down but i was like nah we're cool) anyway walking down im like soooo what'd u wanna know he says well it's too late and in my head im like ? how is it too late anyway fool misses his train he timed it wrong but i walk him over anyway and i think i would've stayed with him till the next train got there but i foolishly left my phone back in my apartment im so DUMB moral of the story our d8 turned into a really awkward 3 person hang out but more awk for him then me and s since we're friends oh also i introduced him to 2 more of my roomies and i feel awful lmao he said he had social anxiety which i should've taken more seriously

fast forward again hanging w S rest of the night ahhhh after friend leaves then shots with roomies after S leaves and boom it's 2 am and i decide to text friend hoping he got home okay THEN I CLICK THE SPOTIFY LINK HE SENT EARLIER THAT DAY b it was .... b this man must've been soooo disappointed LMAO but what were u doing having expectations cmon (cmon by 1d) ugh but he's soooo beautiful

*anyway why i feel awful: he's a brown man, S is a white woman i feel like maybe he thought i didnt trust him and needed a white savior to protect me which isnt true at all? i felt no threat from him, super easy going, we were in public the sun was out everything was fine! i wanted to be alone w him and walk around and talk :( i feel really bad about having S there the whole frickin time im soooo frickinnn pissed ahahaa we watched white chicks LOL anyway he said probably doesnt wanna meet again im like valid sure of course today was .... but i still wanna see him ... but i shouldnt .... we unfollwed eachother n everything soooo basically spirits said no :(

the end until next time maybe this summer #btr adventures lmao iykyk < 3

post remarks of things i know:

you have asthma , mom's a tr*mpie yet somehow got vaccine, dad projected his dreams onto u of wanting you to be a doctor or something but hey artist (which i love so much like wowwwwoowowowow)

nvm i do get attached to people i say i dont but i do its been two days im still thinking about this also here i am writing a 1000 word essay about a DAy and he's prolly like i j wanted some **** lmao boys r dumb h*ate m*n but again god he's gorgeous but i deserve the best <3 whatever tht may be <3

[howtosurvivebeingsingle]

Toxicity

I think I mentioned a while back that I was in a toxic relationship. Back in 2019, I entered my first relationship in my entire life. He had the most generic name and for privacy reasons, we will call him John. As cliche as it is, we both met on a dating app and started talking for two weeks. Your typical teenage-style messaging on Snapchat with regular conversations emerged. It was a good time talking about art and working hard. He was 28 at the time and I was 23. Mind that the age gap did bother me a little but I was willing to give it a shot. Due to my lack of dating experiences, this also made me a little naive to how quickly things escalated. After those two weeks, we decided to go on a date. The plan was to go out to eat and catch a movie at the local drive-in. All the red flags were there. Seeing as how this was nothing like the guy who a few months before took me to his house, this was going much more smoothly than my experience with him. More on that later. He picked me up and to no surprise asked if he needed to come to the door. I'll have you know that I'm from Texas, in this particular town I was in men were shall I say challenged on the front of chivalry. This should have been the first red flag, again bear with me. After we took off, he initiated the conversation to break the tension. I myself am not the best conversationalist, so for me, this was fine. Our stop was Cheddars which was seemingly packed, so we stopped at a Chinese buffet just down the road. The food was terrible, but it was nice talking to him. After we left, we hit the drive-in that I paid for (red flag 2) and he dropped me off around 1. He was a gentleman and wanted another date sometime but yes, looking back now, I should've ended it there.

Another week and another blindly accepted date that took place on my sister's (now ex-boyfriend's) birthday. He met me at my house and I stupidly made him breakfast. The day ended with a nonconsensual kiss on the playground at a park where the party was. I never knew what a kiss was meant to feel like. I assumed my fear of saliva and anything relating to mucus had something to do with it but for some reason, the strongest urge to puke and pass out hit me hard. I played it off and made the excuse that I needed to be home early and texting was there. That night we were boyfriend and girlfriend. I was told "It's okay to kiss on the second date." and "Most people are in relationships by then." by people who definitely have more experiences than I have. I'm not one to hold grudges, but it seems rather cruel to just assume I know the warning signs the first few times. I later learned that they only wanted me to be happy which called to question if I really appear that sad to people. Conversations over the phone about our next date started to arise along with topics about taking 11-hour trips to the redwood forest alone next summer. After three days, I started to notice a pattern in his speech and messages that were oddly familiar. I'm sure some of you are familiar with the: "I love you! You're wonderful!" next to, "You should really come over to my house. I'm lonely." and then, "I'm such a terrible person for trying to pressure you. You shouldn't date me anymore." Something my good male friend knew all too well of. His first on and off relationship was with a girl that dated three guys at the same time including him. The speech pattern was the same along with the constant worry of his six female friends. I needed a man's perspective on the situation, and who better to trust than him?

We'll call my friend Ron for privacy reasons. Ron and I had our usual hang out after a night at home with my new boyfriend. I confided in him that I was unsure what to do. His knowledge of relationships was similar to mine given his first toxic relationship and his second short relationship that wasn't. I was beginning to question if I was naive or just scared. I handed Ron my phone and he skimmed over the messages carefully. After about half an hour of careful reading, he looked me dead in the eyes and looked as if he just witnessed a murder. His words were: "I'll be brutally honest, this guy gives me vibes that he wants to mess you up. He's trying to play his cards right and get you to sleep with him. If you don't there's no telling if he's going to take what he wants anyway. Sounds a lot like my ex." My heart sunk deep into my stomach as I started to realize all the warning signs. I know one thing for sure, if some sources won't give it to you straight, you can always rely on someone else. We then went into deeper conversations about how his first ex. I won't specify details since, but I'll keep it discreet. She tried to make him do things he didn't want to in terrible places. My heart broke hearing his words. From my layman's perspective, I had only seen that she was dating other guys alongside him, but knowing that he could relate and trust me enough to confide in that delicate information was comforting. I wasn't going crazy and I wasn't scared, rather correct to be a skeptic of my first and now obviously Toxic relationship. This conversation then made me wonder that toxicity can be defined as something that makes you sick but besides Rob's and my experiences, what exactly is defined as a Toxic Relationship?

Sera: "You have been put through an emotional rollercoaster by him, and he has caused you pain, confusion, and stress. This is a clear sign that he doesn't love you or care for you. It is not because of anything you did, but you should move on now, and cut ties."

Chris: "Intense love. Passionate sex. Deep conversations. Lots of crying. Lots of fighting. A pregnancy scare. A fiery breakup induced by social media. Months of games following the breakup. A painful goodbye."

Rebecca: "When your gut feeling is always telling you that something doesn’t feel right, but you can never put your finger on why. you feel physically sick all of the time for seemingly no reason at all, you start to crave being away from them more and more, being with them feels exhausting, like you’re walking on eggshells with them, the thought of a future with them makes you more anxious than excited and they hold you to unrealistic expectations. There's a lot to it really."

Franklin: "In almost all toxic relationships, there will usually be one person trying to exert control, and one person trying to assert boundaries to resist that control. Of course, human beings are complicated, and there can be both things happening in both directions. But generally, at least in my observation, the arrow of control is much more prominent in one direction. Another common element in intimate partner abuse is gaslighting—attempting to overwrite another person’s own subjective experiences or memories with your own 'that's not what you feel,' 'that's not what you think,' etc."

Ankita: "You are behaving differently with them than what you are in front of your family/close friends, and always being compared with another woman or man, especially for your physical appearance. You are not allowed to look into their phone. No, this isn’t about privacy. Making love is all about their mood. They tell you what to do and don’t want to listen to you and you can't make friends or hang out with old friends. They also judge your friends on the basis of gender. You can’t call an opposite gender a friend."

I was shocked to hear that people had a lot to say on this particular subject. This inspired me to do some digging on how many people have fallen victim to this harsh reality. Disturbing as it is, I found that 82% of Americans have been or are still in toxic relationships. It's a hard idea to follow, but knowing that Rob and I aren't alone. Has anyone here also had similar experiences? If so, you too are not alone, and it's always good to confide in someone if the reader feels that they might be experiencing or have once some time ago. Before this turns into an infomercial, I thought I'd share one last story with you. My younger sister has been in a series of these and is thankfully no longer in contact with the men of the past. There was the rockstar that didn't take no for an answer. The playboy who thought he could have many women and the downer that needed constant attention or he'd do something drastic. Many similar situations like the above mentioned happened to her in many of her previous relationships more often than not. I unfortunately should have paid more attention to these scenarios and could have done better to aid her and avoid this myself. She is thankfully in a better relationship with someone that treats her better and has a marriage planned. This is no secret to her either, he did tell her very early on in their relationship and is working on personal problems before popping the question. The plan is to surprise her. I just hope he's ready for how difficult that will be. She is pretty observant and pieces things together rather quickly. In the long run, what I've learned from my and others' experiences. This was definitely a learning experience and I can be sure that neither my friends nor myself will not to make those same mistakes again. For now, hope your weekends are going great. As always Much Love Your Way Darlings!

[mikamangata]

Eine kleine Nachtmusik

First of all, thank you so much for the amazing love you all showed my last few posts! It really makes you want to write as much as possible if there's so many people enjoying it!

If you didn't read the first chapter or my If BTS attended Hogwarts Hyung/Maknae line post I recommend you do that, otherwise there'll be some confusion! Anyways, I hope you'll have fun reading!^^

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Chapter two

"And what did you do during the summer, Kookie? Oh and Taehyungie and Jiminie told me you probably didn't get to buy new school things for this year, so we bought everything you'll need when we were at Diagon Alley." Granny said. They were currently all eating breakfast together, Jungkook himself had a big plate full of pancakes in front of him. They looked delicious and he ate timidly. "I-I didn't do anything, really. And thank you so much for getting my school supplies, I don't know how to thank you." The youngest said genuinely. Granny, an old woman with grey hair and welcoming, motherly eyes, immediately answered: "Oh you don't have to thank us, Kookie darling! It wasn't a bother at all and when the boys told me about the way your family treats you...I honestly have no words. But I want you to know that you're always welcome here, sweetheart." Jungkook nearly teared up at that. This woman, who had met him only once before, who knew nothing about him except for the things Taehyung and Jimin told her, opened her arms and home for him. She greeted him warmly, let him sleep in her house and made him a nice breakfast. Jungkook's heart clenched at the thought and he gulped loudly, unable to answer. Granny sensed this avalanche of feelings that seemed to swallow Jungkook's words, so she got up and hugged the youngest gently. At first Jungkook was taken aback, but after a moment he hugged her back. His fists gripped Granny's yellow apron tightly as he whimpered quietly, the motherly love new and overwhelming for him. Is that what it felt like? Because if it did, he'd do anything in the world to feel it for just a few moments longer. The absence of hostility paired with Granny's warmth calmed him down and the old woman gently cooed at him.

"Jiminie, don't forget your hoodie, the castle is cold when it's winter!" "It's in my suitcase Granny." "Taehyung! Don't forget Gucci!" "I already put her in the car." "Yoongi-ah, help Kookie with his suitcase!" "Okay." "Hoseok-ah, did Mickey come back yet? If not I'll send him to Hogwarts later." "I haven't seen him in weeks, he's probably lost again." The whole house buzzed with energy since everyone was running around, packing their things into the car. Granny was reminding them gently of important thing they might have forgotten, at the same time making sandwiches for them so they had something to eat on the train. After they were done, everyone got into the car, which seemed way bigger than before, and they drove to the train station. The drive itself was quite uneventful, except for when Taehyung thought it was a good idea to let Gucci out of her cage. "Taehyung oh my god put that thing back in its cage or I'll throw it out the goddamn window!" Hoseok screeched. Everyone knew that he hated snakes, it was Taehyung's fault really. "Okay okay, calm down! She just looked like she needed cuddles, I'll put her right back." Taehyung groaned.

They arrived at the station and ran through the brick wall with their pets and suitcases. The big red Hogwarts train was as beautiful as they had remembered, with people running around hurriedly and parents saying their goodbyes. As they looked around, Jungkook's eyes landed on a tall, broad-shouldered Hufflepuff prefect, already in his uniform. He was talking to some parents, answering questions and reassuring them that their child would be safe at Hogwarts. Jungkook immediately started running towards him, leaving all his things behind. He shouted: "Hyung! Jin-hyung!" The handsome boy turned around and greeted Jungkook by hugging him tightly. "Kookie! It's great to see you again, I was so worried. When I heard you arrived at Taehyung's I wanted to come too but I was to busy, I'm sorry." Seokjin apologised, gently kissing the top of Jungkook's head. "S'okay, Hyung. Missed you lots." Jungkook answered, his voice muffled by the fabric of Seokjin's uniform and the older snickered fondly. They parted reluctantly and the Seokjin slung an arm around Jungkook's shoulders. "Joonie and I arrived super early so we were able to get a whole compartment to ourselves. I won't be with you for the first fifty minutes or so, I have a prefect meeting. But I'll join you as soon as I can, promise. Joonie is already waiting inside, I told him to stay in the compartment so nobody would take it away from us. Get your stuff inside, I still have to talk to some people." Jungkook nodded and walked back to the other boys. While the youngest was talking to Seokjin, the others got onto the train and put all the suitcases away. Granny gave Jungkook a final goodbye-hug and a loving kiss on his forehead, then she ushered him to join the other boys. He smiled and got onto the train, searching for his friends. They had a compartment at the far back, with comfortable seats and a nice view. "Kook! Let me look at you, kiddo! I haven't seen you ages, you've almost grown a little!" Namjoon exclaimed as he hugged the youngest tightly. "I missed you, Hyung." Jungkook murmured back cutely, which made the others coo at him. The youngest sat down between Yoongi and Jimin, with Yoongi sitting on the side of the window opposite of Taehyung and Jimin sitting next to the compartment door and opposite of Hoseok, Namjoon in the middle of Taehyung and Hoseok.

They conversed lightly, talking about the summer and what they looked forward to at Hogwarts. At some point Seokjin joined them, squeezing himself between Namjoon and Hoseok. They all ate the sandwiches granny made and joked about Ilhyuk and his stupid gang. Koo Ilhyuk was the same age as Taehyung and Jimin and an awful bully. Their groups of friends often clashed, fights ignited by Ilhyuk's hatred for everything that wasn't Pureblood and his stupidly big and mean companions Dottle and Cabley. But they didn't have to worry about that for now, at least. They arrived at the castle when it was already dark and Seokjin had to leave them again to take care of the new tiny first years. When they got to the castle they were were greeted by Peeves, the most mischievous ghost in the history of Hogwarts (and everywhere, really). Taehyung excitedly waved at him: "Peeves! Peeves, I'm back! How was your summer?" "Good good, Taehyung...it's almost nice to see you again. Now excuse me, I have some fresh meat to scare." The ghost said and floated in the direction of the first years. Shortly after, loud and panicked screams erupted, followed by a panicked Hagrid: "Please calm down! Peeves does that every year, but he's a friendly ghost! That's not a real dragon!" This didn't really make the situation better for the scared first years but then the huge gate opened and they were all "rescued" by an annoyed looking Professor McGonagall. Meanwhile, the boys walked into the great hall, sitting down at their respective tables; Yoongi at the Slytherin table, Seokjin and Hoseok at the Hufflepuff table, Namjoon at the Ravenclaw table and Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook at the Gryffindor table. After the sorting ceremony, they all looked at the front podium expectantly. Dumbledore looked at everyone through his old glasses and said: "I hope you all had a nice summer! For those of you who didn't, don't worry, your time at Hogwarts will make up for that. I proudly greet the new faces, full of curiosity and will to learn! Oh and I have an announcement to make: We have a new teacher for Defence Against The Dark Arts; please welcome Professor Hermann Maier! He's an old friend of mine that travelled all the way from Germany just to teach you guys!" As the pupils applauded excitedly, an about forty year old man stepped onto the podium. He had brown hair that already had a few gray streaks in it, although he didn't exactly look old enough to have those. He wore simple blue jeans and a black button-up t-shirt. His face seemed welcoming with a pair of green eyes and a little too big nose, but he looked like somebody that had seen too much. There was some stubble on his chin, but it seemed like it was there intentionally. "Oh uhm yeah thank you Albus. Well, as mentioned before, I'm Hermann Maier! It's nice to meet all of you and I sincerely hope we have a great time together. Thank you for giving me this great opportunity Albus and thank all of you for welcoming me so warmly!" Professor Maier said and walked back to were he sat between Professor Sprout and Professor Snape. "Let the feast begin!" Immediately after Dumbledore said that, all the tables were filled with food. Quiet chatter broke out as pupils and teachers alike conversed about all kinds of things. Jungkook looked around; Jimin was currently hitting Taehyung with a chicken wing because Taehyung had tried to stick a carrot up Jimin's nose. Again. Jungkook smiled fondly and tried to catch a glimpse of his other friends, but unfortunately he couldn't see them over the swarms of heads moving excitedly. So instead, the young Gryffindor looked at Professor Maier. He seemed to be in a deep conversation with Professor Sprout about god-knows-what. Jungkook didn't know what to think of him. He looked like a nice guy with a genuine interest to teach instead of just torturing them cough Snape cough. But Jungkook decided to keep his guard up, just to make sure. He was looking forward to his first lesson with the new Professor.

After finishing their meals, they all went to their respective dorms. Jungkook was sitting on his bed, sneakily looking at Jimin. The older Gryffindor was only in his black underwear, currently searching for his pajama pants. Jungkook's pretty sure he saw Taehyung walk into the bathroom with them earlier, but Jimin didn't need to know that yet. "Like what you see?" Jungkook's staring wasn't as sneaky as he had thought. His face turned red and he slowly layed down on his bed, whole body turned away from Jimin. If he couldn't see Jimin then Jimin couldn't see him. Yes, that's how things work. Jimin chuckled and said: "You know it's okay to look at me, to touch me, to kiss me. We're together after all. I understand that you're shy, it's really cute honestly, but you don't have to be. Not with me, not with Taehyung either. We'll never make fun of you for that. Tease you a little, maybe, but that's all. I hope you understand that. And now come here, I want to cuddle!" Jungkook smiled shyly as he walked over to Jimin's bed and they both layed down, cuddling up to each other. "Tae took my pants, didn't he?" "Yes." "Goddammit." Speaking of the devil, Taehyung entered the bedroom and, upon seeing the tiny cuddle pile, immediately joined the other two.

"Kim Taehyung I love you but I swear to god that if you stuffed my pants into the shower head again I will end you." Jimin angrily whispered into the darkness of the room. Jungkook felt Taehyung tense behind him and giggled quietly. "I don't think I really thanked you for what you did for me, so...thank you. Seriously, I was so down and then you guys came and made everything better. You're my best friends and I-I love you." Jungkook confessed gently. Both Jimin and Taehyung tightened their holds on the Maknae and let out quiet Aaww's, Don't worry about it's and We love you too's. Needless to say, the youngest fell asleep quickly, with nothing on his mind other than Jimin and Taehyung.

Jungkook woke up in the middle of the night. There was a weird feeling surrounding him, something he had never felt before. Like some sort of tugging sensation, but not like when somebody grabbed your arm or something, it felt different. As if his entire being was gently tugged towards the door. Jungkook felt sluggish and groggy from sleep, he didn't want to get up. The two bodies holding him gently were warm and comfortable. So instead he opted for just sitting up. He looked around the room, but everything seemed normal, he didn't feel scared although he never really fancied the darkness. Suddenly Jungkook heard a laugh, an overexcited cackle. It sounded like it was far away, but the boy could still hear it clearly. Weird, he thought, who the hell is laughing so loudly at this hour? Jungkook wasn't unnerved or anything, the laugh sounded quite nice actually, like an old friend inviting him to play. But Jungkook was tired and comfortable, so instead of further listening to the strange sound and wondering about this weird tugging sensation, he went back to sleep peacefully.

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Author's note: So uhm here's chapter two! I'm sorry that I didn't upload anything in such a long time, I was really busy with school and there's a lot of health stuff going on so yeah. But I hope you enjoyed this chapter! What do you think will happen next? Who was laughing so mysteriously in the middle of the night? The plot is definitely going to pick up speed from here! I'll try to upload the next chapter as soon as possible, but as I said before, I'm really busy and my health doesn't look that good. But I always enjoy writing, so hopefully I can continue to do so for a long time! Hihi, I hope you all have a great day!^^