#and i mean LONG POST

[adyophene]

Husk's secret weapon

[seenthisepisode]

no offence but the reason tumblr is “dying” is, well, yes, of course the cursed like/reblog ratio and the change in user behaviour (because of people being used to how instagram and tiktok work) BUT also the lack of weekly shows. i say it with my whole chest, they don't produce captivating and engaging stupid weekly tv shows anymore because streaming killed that so you have spikes of activity here when Something happens in general fandom or up to three days after a new season of whatever drops and then it's a wasteland. this is obviously an old woman yelling at a cloud missing supernatural and the vampire diaries and pretty little liars and all these other shows type of post but honestly give me back weekly tv shows where i have something to watch for 40 minutes almost every day of the week after work so then i can read and reblog it on tumblr give it back for the sake of my sanity

[brainstirfry]

Reading these long posts again and again until I can see what OP sees like I'm studying ancient magic. The only thing I keep thinking is. This double-speak that they do with each other. It's almost literally a love language. Either in this post or another op also writes about how "if you're outwardly nice, you can't be trusted" (paraphrasing here ofc--) whereas if "you identify as an asshole" you might just be kind inside or something to that effect (SORRY) BUT that implies that Wade's also using this subtextual understanding of what he's saying as a defense; the people who can see through it are the ones that have any chance at all of breaching his other defenses, humor maybe being the most obvious one, and it identifies the people who he has to be wary of getting to actually see him OR to even see that he's wearing a mask at all? It's literally a language, like a secret code only those who think like him or maybe have experienced a certain, horrible side to life can understand, and really interacts meaningfully with people that can speak the language. BUT it's also a love language in that it's a manner of his expression of affection. It might be forced or strained or otherwise difficult to speak freely. It might feel good to do so, like recalling his old pre-deadpool self even? (if you've read a passage from OP about Wade saying happy holidays, that's what I'm talking about) but it could only be with those people who he can let past the walls and defenses and who he feels are committed to him. Colossus and negasonic are on his list of people that literally mean the world to him, because they've committed time and energy again and again to him, they've stayed, and not because they necessarily think they can profit off of him, like cough cough other people in Wade's past. (They try to get him to join the X men but it's not really about their benefit from doing that, I think colossus for one genuinely thinks it would help dp) but colossus and negasonic don't speak his language. LOGAN does; it's why they get along so well despite the top surface discourse. (It's gotta be refreshing to be able to be seen like that, having most of what you say and do fly completely under the radar for most people and then meeting someone who actually fucking gets it, like...) If you don't read into it, they hate each other for most of the movie. It feels like. Play fighting sometimes too. Idk Anyways right off the bat when the movie makes a joke out of every other variant immediately getting violent with Wade without communication, regardless of what Wade says, worst wolvie actively picks up what Wade puts down. chugging the whole bottle Wade told the bartender to leave was a one-up multipurpose tactic, where I think in other cases different logans wouldn't have even accepted the gesture. Would have just walked away. sigh (this whole thing with the bottle is another thing OP touches on I think innnn the car monologue subsection, it's one of my favorite breakdown bits with the "care behind offense" wording it's genius help me I'm ROTTING HERE)

This is a fucking WALL of text I'm so sorry. Anyways ANYONE penny for your THOUGHTS? I need help

A Jolly Red Lie

Why a red suit? Cause it's christmas, and someone's been naughty. But also so that people don't know he's bleeding, that he's hurting.

In dp2, Wade says he should have worn his WHITE suit when he meets Juggernaut. Because a red suit hides blood, a white suit hides that you're excited, that you're enjoying all this. That you're getting off, that you want it.

A red suit shows you're enjoying it. A red suit doesn't show you're hurting. A white suit doesn't show you're enjoying it, but it does show you're hurting.

Wade's first suit was white.

He swapped it to red because he didn't want to show he was bleeding all over everything. You know, like a bleeding heart. He doesn't want people to know he cares so much he'd sacrifice himself over and over. Selflessness. He wants it to appear as if his actions cost him nothing. He can't have anyone thinking he wants to be there.

But the red suit does show he's enjoying it. Enjoying the fighting, the killing, the being stabbed.

When we first meet pre Deadpool Wade, he was in a red coat, white shirt--the Golden Girls shirt. He's enjoying what he's doing.

Wearing his heart on his sleeve. Showing what he cares about. Told pizza stalker girl he does it for the hugs, and then covered up by turning it into a joke "for the money"--(haha the deadpool movie was ostensibly jokes for money, but we all know that's not true)--and then later refusing to take payment. He's being open, even if he knocks it down a peg after the fact.

Looking at Vanessa with open care, and letting her see. Openly saying things like "Happy holidays", without being sarcastic about it or negating it.

But he stops doing that after Francis. The only time it's shown is when she tells him she wants to have a kid--even then it's still not openly, because it's hidden behind jokes. He doesn't tell her he loves HER, only that he really wants a kid: but DOES HE?

No. He's pretending to care, to want. They first intend to "watch some porn and show the bed who's boss", but we cut to them watching Abjectly Not Porn. He then says he wants a kid again, but the way he describes it is to "get the strap on": that's not how kids are made. He didn't want that in dp1 though: he says "no" to the strap on in the sex montage. (That was on international women's Day. When Vanessa is dead in dp2, it's always international women's Day there. Aka, Wade doesn't want to be there. Why is he there, then? Because he thinks she wants that.)

He's pretending to care about something he doesn't. He's using things he's supposed to want, but no longer does, to act like he cares. He wants to, but he does not. He says he wants kids as he's selling used cars, but that's a lie followed by the offense of "not having vaginal sex". Because he wants to get pegged now, which is extremely offensive to Disney.

So what changed?

He isn't "Happy holidays" open anymore after Francis.

He's showing her what he wants, but won't say it. She is also showing and not saying what she wants: him to SAY it. They both want a family, just not THIS one. Do you want what I can give you or do you want me? He's only alive on the outside, not the inside.

They give each other multiple opportunities to just say it, but neither actually wants to make it happen. She doesn't take the excuse that he would be a bad father as the "I don't want this" subtext it really is; he doesn't take her dismissal of his excuses as the call for change--to go back to how things were--that it is. He knows what's going on, he'll flirt with the line but he won't go to the end.

He's too selfless to tell her he doesn't want this. He doesn't say no anymore, unlike he did pre-Deadpool. Because he thinks she wants this with him, and he won't deny her that, because he calls that selfish.

He CAN do it, so does it matter if he wants it?

He's so selfless he'll hide how much he's being hurt: his bleeding heart. Hide how much it's killing him that he can't say no. He thinks he doesn't have a choice.

Because Father Christmas is going after the naughty list: NOT handing out presents. Enjoying receiving them from other people--not wearing the white suit to hide that--because he's giving presents while giving nothing away. Giving but not receiving. (Haha multiple meta levels and multiple sex jokes)

When did Wade change and why? Going to Francis was showing he cared so much about something he was willing to risk it all. That was the decision he told us is when "it all went wrong": when he changed, on more than just the outside. When it went wrong with Vanessa.

He's only alive on the outside. He's only got a life (with Vanessa) on the outside--he's dead inside. This isn't a life he wants.

Because what he got for caring that much--risking it all--was everything going wrong. The new him, wrong but so right: hiding everything behind a joke, saying the opposite of what he means. Not like he used to be.

The trauma wasn't the torture, it was that he asked for the help they offered only to learn they were lying, that they didn't actually want him around: both in the sense that they weren't doing it for him, and also that they were going to ship him out enslaved afterwards. He no longer trusts claims to care, kindness, because that's where everything goes wrong. Kindness is a lie, hiding the threat of getting the rug pulled.

If you have to say you're nice, then you're not actually nice.....if you don't say you're nice--if you identify as an asshole--you could be nice on the inside. False skins.

Rejection can't hurt you if you don't give it a chance in the first place. If you act like you don't care, that you don't want the thing you want. If you act like you're a psychotic asshole, pushing people away from the getgo.

He gets off on being hurt now: red suit, not white. He's no longer hiding that he gets off on that. Openness is a turn off.

People in jolly red suits are supposed to enjoy giving presents in exchange for cookies and cream after coming down the chimney. Openly doing things for other people, for no payment except appreciation. That was Wade in his jolly red pizza jacket.

And that selflessness still is him, except it's killing him inside and out.

But now he's saying his bleeding red heart--not just on his sleeve but his EVERYTHING--is about hiding the gore: a lie that it's about blood to cover the truth that it's about his heart, how hurt he is on the inside. How he's constantly dying.

It IS about the blood, but it's also not. An omission. Honesty from the other side: not full frontal but raw dogging it from the back, in the subtext. A reach around, if you will.

There wasn't any bloody gore to hide with the pizza stalker, he really was just wearing his heart on his sleeve. Like he's doing in his red Christmas suit, except he's now lying about what it is.

Don't listen to him, he's a fucking liar.

He was pizza Santa, but now he's Bad Santa: claiming it's about blood feud and his face when really it's about making sure Francis couldn't happen to anyone else. Hiding his bleeding heart out in the open behind the ugly statement that he's selfish. Taking out Francis' entire operation instead of only getting revenge on Francis.

He now doesn't care if people see he enjoys what he does, in his red suit, getting off on being hurt: unlike with the pizza stalker, when "that came out wrong, or did it, kiss". He didn't kill that guy because that's not what it was about; but now, he openly enjoys that. So long as he can hide what it's really about behind a different front, a different face, a lie.

The face he presents isn't his real one. It's a mask. Ugly offense instead of truth. Offense as truth.

That's (not) what she said

That's why Vanessa said "show me you care about something bigger than yourself": I need you to be open. An offensive statement ostensibly saying he's selfish, because she wants him to SAY OPENLY that it's not the truth, that his front is JUST a front. (But it's not. She wants him to go back to who he was--not the face, but the "happy holidays".) To remove the cover. (That's why he took off the suit: he removed the lie. Other people wanted him to, so he tried to give it to them because he's just that selfless.

Why should it matter if you don't want to? Sacrifice isn't a good thing if it's not your choice. It'll destroy everything.)

But he can't remove the cover and still be himself. Removing it means he's lying to himself. He's not "right there" anymore. He's always behind an invisible barrier, and he won't cross it anymore. It's not a facade, it's who he really is. He's offensive, not polite, impolite.

Her crazy no longer matches his crazy. He's got a new him that he shouldn't put a mask over.

Vanessa's "show me you care" was giving him the excuse and choice he needed to breakup: here's something ugly you can call yourself so that you can leave. She knows he doesn't want to be there, he just can't give up the wish to be, and he won't subject her to rejection because he sees that as selfish, because that's what he's most afraid of himself.

She said "I don't want you", and it was a lie, but it also wasn't. Wade took the excuse of the text, the superficial statement, to ignore that what she was really saying was "I know you don't want me".

By the end of dp3, he learns that wanting things for himself isn't selfish. "I did it for you", he says, and because it's not impolite, not who she knows he is, Vanessa knows it wasn't about her. That it's a lie. He's telling her that he's finally doing something HE wants, and it's not her: he's finally telling her no, able to say no again, to say what he actually wants. It's a thank you to her for telling him to go, to do what makes him happy--what he wants. She's happy for him. All she wanted was for him to be happy, that's why she wanted him to leave. He's learned that getting to choose matters, and wanting matters, more than ostensible selflessness.

"I did it for you": not the truth but not a lie. A lie that is the truth.

He's pretending to care about his non-deadpool life in dp3, when really he doesn't. It isn't him and Vanessa knows it. So she gives him an excuse: I'll call you selfish, so you can go find what you really want, because I know it's not me, I know you need an excuse to act for yourself.

He goes to 616 looking to join the Avengers with the excuse on his lips that it's someone else who wants it. He's sick of not belonging. Because even when what he wants is right in front of him, when it's true he wants to do it for other people--he still can't say it. He lets it go because they would want him to stop being impolite, just like Vanessa, and he won't do that. He won't admit what the red suit really is.

He won't say he's selfless. He won't say he's nice. He'll say he's not.

But he hangs up the suit because he thinks he'll never find somewhere to belong unless he changes. Unless he gives everyone else what they want. Unless he acts like someone he isn't.

Wade won't openly care after Francis, but after Vanessa was saved in dp2, she changed too: she wanted more open care, not behind an excuse. She missed the happy holidays. It had started before she died too: she wanted him to give her the real reason he was late, not an excuse: she wanted him to say he came back FOR her, not excuse why he hadn't. He DID leave in the middle of a job FOR her, though--he just wouldn't say it. Weaker and weaker excuses were the best he could do. Pouty face because he doesn't want to say the truth, and she knows it. Accepted it at the time, but not after dp2: when she saw he would be fully self destructive in an attempt to not be selfish. That's why she's with someone openly kind in dp3: not someone offensive like Wade.

How does offense as defense, offense as a true lie, come into things?

He says he's not having vaginal sex as an offensive way to cover the truth that he wants to get pegged, aka he's gay. (Subtext that Vanessa was a beard for dp2. He wasn't gay before he became Deadpool, before he became Jesus.) Metanarratively, it's an offensive sex comment to hide the greater offense Disney takes to queerness. Desire under offense. A lie to hide the truth. A lie that IS the truth.

He does do things because other people need him. He always has. He's always been kind.

He cares SO MUCH, he just won't say it out loud, make it obvious. Just like Logan couldn't have anyone knowing how much he wanted to be there. They need cover, an excuse.

What you think you're seeing isn't what's really there: it's not Captain America but Johnny. It was all along. It's not the money shot but the hug. He's not there for mister chandelier jeans, he's there for the delivery. To make a delivery himself.

But if offense is defense, if offense is the truth: not my favorite Chris, is, in fact---

So he hides behind being fake: he's not faking being nice, he's faking being offensive. Nicepool is the opposite, a facade of kindness hiding selfishness: he doesn't let the dog choose, even after she ran away twice. Deadpool specifically let Vanessa choose: "tell me you don't want me and I'll leave". He let Logan choose: do you walk away or do you come back? He waited to jump back in the car until Logan asked him to come hither. Show me you want me. Over and over again: romance.

He did fake being nice though: Deadpool telling Nicepool to say he's going to live while he's actively being murdered is a callback to Francis killing him over and over, telling him he'll get to go back to his life--to LIVE--when it was actually a lie and he never intended such a thing. Two different lies.

Or was it a lie, when Deadpool's lies are the truth? Francis didn't intend for him to live, and Deadpool didn't intend for Nicepool to live either: kindness is a risk, a threat. Truth in the lie. It's not his business that Nicepool didn't know the difference, just like it wasn't Francis' business that Wade didn't know the difference.

The xmen wanted them both to change: in dp2, the rules were be nice and no killing, but he couldn't do that. For Logan, they wouldn't drag him off no matter how much they wanted him, because they wanted him to do it openly. Be nice. Instead of rebuffing them, instead of hiding behind offense.

The Car Monologue

That's why Deadpool gets all breathless and speechless after Logan's OFFENSIVE rant in the car: that was a confession, it wasn't an insult. Truth in the lie: except Deadpool can tell the difference between what's a lie and what's the truth, just like Logan can. Insulting him, saying he's NOT NICE: the lie in the text to hide the subtext that he knows full well he really is.

They'd just spent a day driving: look at the timeline, Wade starts with three days and they show up at the last hour. Where did all that time go, when we only saw one night? Where were was the other day?

They spent it driving, and talking. Logan knows about Vanessa in his rant, and he could only know their history if Wade told him: he talked about everything else before asking Logan about himself, because offense is being nice, is caring. "Selfishness" to show care, because Logan DID NOT want to talk about himself. He was literally a jabbering prick as a lie to show he cared, instead of saying it.

That's another in the list of things Wade does that no one else will: be the asshole no one else will, be the asshole that's needed.

He comes off as a megalomaniacal psychotic asshole. But the real asshole is Cassandra, not him.

Logan's rant was a cover of offense over empathy: but it was actually Logan telling Wade he understood why he hated himself, because he felt the same way. Like Logan wearing the suit under his clothes because he can't let anyone know how much he missed them, how sorry he was. Like Logan not reacting to the bartender treating him badly because he can't show how much it hurts, how much he's bleeding to death. He was quite literally embarrassed to wear the suit, to be a superhero, to show he cared. And so is Wade of the red suit: bad santa to cover how much he wants to give things away.

Wade met all those other Wolverines first: they all attacked him, except two whom he walked away from.

Why did he walk away from those two?

Accurate Wolvie didn't respond to his insult at all, so that one isn't like Wade: offers no offense. Wade can't have THAT when he's so openly offensive himself. He needs the offense as a cover.

Cross Logan was up there because he openly cared. Without an excuse, without an offensive cover. Openly bleeding. He'd gone after the people who attacked the rest of the team, instead of walking away.

Just like Logan said: they can't let him know how much they care or go willingly. Not caring and walking away is the real Wolverine. The BEST Wolverine. Cross and Accurate wouldn't match Wade's crazy.

He walks away from all the other Wolvies because they didn't show they care in any way at all. They said no without saying it.

Worst Wolvie, however, does show he cares, while still maintaining offense: "you don't want this", but not outright rejecting him. He's saying yes without saying it.

Having met those other ones, Wade knows that for what it is: exactly the kind of thing Wade says. And like Wade says in greeting: "you don't know me but I know you". Gives him the drink he wants under cover of offensively threatening the bartender. Care behind offense, and Logan took the bottle.

Does Logan know it was care behind it, though? Or does he read it as pure offense?

He KNOWS, because he could have easily killed Paradox. But instead, he doesn't, and joins Wade in the trash heap: because he wants to help. He wants THIS guy. The attack attempt on Paradox was an offense, a cover for what he really wanted: Wade.

Wade says to Wolvie, "I don't want this just like you don't want this": but he KNOWS Wolvie. He knows how much every version of him wants to die. That line was really saying, I do want this, I know you need this cover, and I know you want it like this too. It was "I get you", and "I'll do it the way you like, because I'm the same way".

Let's look at that car rant: it came AFTER Wade told him he didn't know if he could save his universe, but it wasn't a careless slipup. He repeats exactly what he said, instead of denying it. Painting himself as careless is the lie to cover the truth: he was checking whether Logan was really doing this for wholly selfish reasons, if he felt coerced, or if he was there because he WANTED to be. Giving him a choice, again.

Tell me you want me: over and over. Do it again. The romance in

Look at her, I would die for her. I would kill for her. Either way, what bliss. Last night - you were unhinged. You were like some desperate, howling demon. You frightened me. - Do it again!

So he told him the truth in an offensive way: hey did you know I lied? GASP how offensive! Really it was: Are you here just for you, or do you want me too? Are you here for ME? Because this "slipup" carelessness is me being here for you. Just like my annoying jabbering was for you. It's you I want, not anyone else. It was YOU I chose, like the radio says: I'm with you. Here's your excuse, saving my world, let's recommit to the truth in the lie.

Logan responds to offense with OFFENSE. "You lied to me". A cover of offense for the truth that he IS there for Wade. An excuse to fuckin' go at it, an excuse to stay. An excuse of "I'm doing it for them" when really he just wanted to a teamup with Wolvie, whatever excuse he could get for that. An excuse of "I'm doing it to fix my own world" when really he just wanted the excuse to stay.

You know what? You're a fucking joke. No wonder the Avengers didn't take you. Or the X-Men... and they'll take fuckin' anyone! I mean, you are a ridiculous, immature, half-wit moron. I have never met a sadder, more attention-starved, jabbering little prick in my entire life. And that says a lot, because I've been alive for more than 200 fucking years. I’ll tell ya, that bald chick was right about one thing. You will never save the world. You couldn't even save a relationship with a goddamn stripper. Motherfucker, I wish I could say you'll die alone, but it's one of God's best jokes that you can't die, except that's on all of us. You got nothin to say, MOUTH?

Like Wade's accusations of "I heard all about you, how you screwed everything up", it's a lie to cover the truth, an insult to cover the reality that it's a personal confession. You're not nice and neither am I.

The xmen will take anyone--just like strippers. Logan couldn't make it work with strippers either. He's a fucking joke. He's a sad, attention starved, prick; not jabbering aka yapping about anything and everything that doesn't matter, but silent about what does and only talking to scream at those who do--the antithesis to Wade's yapping at Logan, ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT MATTERS TO WADE, to help take his mind off everything.

Logan wishes he could die alone, away from the voices that haunt him. Away from the people whose deaths haunt him. But what he really wants is to be welcome, wanted. Wade wants to live with someone he loves. They understand each other, they get it like no one else does.

This is a confession, compliment, confidence, and also thank you for Wade not making him talk about himself. Thank you for the attention he just gave him for a whole day+ driving. For trusting him, unlike how his own world refused to. Wade confessed first, and so Logan followed suit.

Wade is gobsmacked speechless because not only did he just get read to filth, it was done in exactly the way he wanted it: not nice. He can take the excuse of the insult, or he can take the excuse in the subtext. He's being given a choice, and that's what he craves. Like he gave Vanessa a choice to leave him. Choice that was taken from him when he went to Francis.

Nothing to say, Mouth?: are you going to say something or not? Are you going to tell me it was real? Give me confidence.

Logan just said he knows who Wade is, he's the same kind of crazy, and he's HERE for it. A proposal. Desire under offense.

Checking In

So why did Wade first offer up that the TVA could help him, if he was going to admit it later? Because he knew Logan couldn't say he openly wanted to hang around, he needed an excuse. The world "wasn't his fuckin problem": his real problem was needing an excuse to stay with him. So Wade gave him one: the TVA can fix your world. They actually could: it was true, and it was a lie.

It was an educated wish: the education of knowing Wolvie needed an excuse (I know you), and the wish that it's an excuse he wanted. That he wanted to say yes.

Without having to say yes. The flip of how things were with Wade and Vanessa: he was implying yes when really he was saying no without saying it.

Then instead of being just an excuse, just a wish, in the car it becomes a declaration of love. A proposal. Wishing that was wanting.

That educated wish came after Wade insulted Wolvie:

"Give me a hand up, you APE": offense to cover the truth of how much he likes him. A question: do you get off on this like I do?

An offense as an excuse to touch him. To check if he'll openly care, or if....he'll offer more offense right back. Because that's Wade's crazy, offense is what he gets off on. "Nope, I'm actually okay, thank you very much": An obvious lie, to give Logan a chance to withdraw: "Are you gonna take the excuse to back off or the excuse to fuckin go?"

Aka: pick your offense. I'm giving you the choice.

They don't openly say what they mean. So everything they say, isn't what they really mean. The offense is the point. Do you still care even if I offend you, even if I'm ugly to you? Even if I'm repulsive? Not nice? Will you still be there, in sickness because I am never decent, till death do us not part?

If you can't handle me at my worst, then your supposed kindness is a lie. So I'll offer a lie, I'll offer the worst first: I'll put my worst face forward. Do you still want me? Which excuse do you take?

Give me a hand up: that's exactly what Logan does, putting up his claws. It's fuckin foreplay! Also a consent kink.

Achievement unlocked: excuses established, your crazy matches my crazy. They both get off on being offensive. On being wanted, on being given the choice.

"I heard all about you, how you screwed up everything": SO DID WADE. That's how he greeted wolvie: I need you, my world needs you, aka everything is screwed up. I screwed it up and can't fix it, just like you did. We're the same. Neither actually wants to go back to the world they left, but they needed a cover, a lie, to stay together: we gotta save the world.

Wade carries the picture of everyone because it's his excuse for what he does. He likes them, but not like that. Because he wanted to go with the TVA when they showed up to kidnap him: he knew he could use them to get to Wolvie, whom he'd known about since he could break the fourth wall. The birthday party was not his world, he didn't want it anymore. He was wearing a toupee and without his suit: he was trying to be something he wasn't, so he took the excuse to get out of there. He knew who the strippers were. He lost the toupee.

Failure hurts less if you act like you didn't want it, if you act like you're not bleeding out because of it.

Rejection hurts less if you act like you never wanted it. If you don't tell them you care.

It hurts more when you say you want something you don't.

After Francis, he gained the ability to break the fourth wall. He's no longer the same person he was: this is when he learns about Wolvie. But he couldn't get to him, couldn't yet hop universes, so he was settling for Vanessa. At the end of dp1, the mask he put on his face? It was ostenisbly "here's a pretty face for you", "do you want this or me", but it was really Wade directing the question to himself: do I want Vanessa, or do I want the guy I know I belong with? Do I be selfless or selfish: he let Vanessa choose for him. Because he's too selfless. He wouldn't say no if someone else said yes.

If you can't say no, if you don't want it, the sacrifice isn't selfless but a crucifixion.

He knew what he really wanted, but he wouldn't hurt Vanessa to get it. It's why he left Vanessa in the first place after Francis--he just didn't SAY it, hiding under the excuse of selfish vanity. Showed instead of telling.

When the TVA told Wade that Wolvie was dead, what he heard was there was a space for one in his universe. When they told him his universe was going to end, he took that excuse to go get his man. Going after what he wants.

"I wasn't unconscious". YES HE WAS--

It wasn't a mere wish, it was a proposal. Both of them here now know they're doing it for each other. So, HA to that. A nasty HA in an ostensible fight, to cover his real amusement at the truth that they're referring to how much they want each other: do it again.

-->"SO EMBARASSING": oh my god that was HOT do it AGAIN; right away boo boo.

-->"He died from murder, you dumb fuck": oh my god that was so smart how you did that, THANK YOU.

-->Logan gargling and spitting the liquor when they're talking in the hide out? "I don't give a shit about your world": nobody in this room does, it's all for their own ends. It's all just an excuse: a true lie. They're sick of hiding, of not being who they are.

Wade had just said the group could save his world, to give them the excuse they needed for their real aim: their own egos.

He's kissing ass to get them to do what he wants: false flattery, currying favor.

Sucking up is called "apple polishing". Apple polishing, slang, is to suck nuts. Aka....gargling balls. Without swallowing; spitting; because it's false flattery.

Logan's showing Wade he knows what he's doing. And that he's getting off on it, encouraging it, by not saying anything.

"My god read the room": I know you're putting on a show here and I'm all for it, you read me to filth, keep playing along and I'll do you next.

-->"A catty bitch when I'm jealous": he's jealous that the blowjob handles came out for other people but hadn't for him. Jealousy is the excuse he's giving himself and Wolvie to hide that he's stating a desire and admiration.

What's the wind resistance on those blowjob handles?: are those strong enough for me to pull on? To withstand all the bluster and hot air that Wade's blowing him with. Wolvie doesn't object, and that's him saying YES. Just like it was in the bar: "you don't want this", not NO.

-->They only give looks of adoration when the other isn't watching, cause it hurts more if you never acknowledge it: he openly ENJOYS getting hurt in his not-white suit now, ya know? Gets off on the offense of it. Do it again. Be not nice to me.

-->"You didn't lie, you made an educated wish": You were right, I do want to stay with you, I'm here for you. I accept. Tell me again.

"You got a whole world to go back to. I got nothin, give me this." I got you, I need you to live. Give me that. Show me you understand.

"You were the best Wolverine": Logan says nothing, because if it's true, don't say it, show me. Because he won't say anything nice, he didn't say anything at all. Yes without yes. Let's fight about it, because we don't actually care about the universe, it's just an excuse for our flirting.

"You don't need to do this": safe word. I don't want this, this is too far, I can die for you and kill for you but don't make me live without you.

"I'm doing it because they do": do you want to be with me until death do us part? And not part even then? It's an echo of Wade leaving Vanessa to die: neither went after the other. He didn't want to be with her until death. "For them" is a heroic lie. Call me on it. Show me that it's not until the end of the line, but through it, do it again. Show me you're sure, that you want it all beyond life itself.

Death as romance. Like Romeo and Juliet.

....

They can be nice to other people. To the dog. But it's just not what they get off on. They don't play nice together. And in doing so, light that fuck-box on fire. Among other things. Can't have sparks without a little arson, yeah?

That's why Wade clocks Wolvie with a fire extinguisher in the reactor. To try to knock out their "fire" so that he'd not follow him. It's a callback to Human Torch being easily put out: Wolvie's fire wasn't. Instead, they actually set someone else on fire, so well she was ruined for life. The power of love!!!!

They're anti heroes. The heroism is just the excuse to cover up that it's really about enjoying the action. (The movie and the payday is just the excuse to cover up that it's about---)

This clown car can fit so much gay in it. You think you've got it all and then there's just more and more and more.

[incredubious]

MODERN AU ACESAN !!!! first impressions with a guy who barely passes the No Shoes No Shirt No Service rule

[chloesimaginationthings]

Happy one year anniversary to this FNAF post,,

[dear-ao3]

would you guys believe me if i told you that someone came onto My Fanfic. Mine. Written By Me. and did not comment on the actual content of the fic that i poured my heart and soul into but yelled at me for using tags that were funny. you know. like the ones that get posted on this blog. the ones that get submitted and posted on my blog which is dedicated to Funny Ao3 Tags. can we believe that this happened to me of all people because i am still in shock.

there’s no harm in using funny ao3 tags as long as you’re actually Also tagging the whole thing correctly (which i did). and there’s also this great phenomenon called Don’t Click On Something You Don’t Like. also. while we’re at it. don’t leave comments on people’s fanfic if you’re going to be mean. this is basic fanfic etiquette.

BUT CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT SOMEONE CAME INTO MY CHAPEL OF THE ARTS AND YELLED AT ME FOR USING FUNNY TAGS MY GUY I RUN DEAR-AO3 I AM FUNNY TAGS HELLO

[myoduri]

a franmaya comic i made two years ago but i still really like! based off of that one very sweet tumblr post

[paintedcrows]

Evening in the Lab

[astracora]

someone's probably pointed this out cause i'm not browsing tags but

Caleb's flower is hydrangea.

Not only a flower that changes colour in differing soil (Caleb is a chameleon or changes who is is depending on the person he's talking to or where he is?)

But the meanings are;

One sided/obsessive love, heartlessness, frigidity/coldness, apology, family and gratitude.

[flowerbloom-arts]

That one ending where the Stranger was your first Princess.

[meyerlansky]

don't know what you're talking about. a shark did this. 🦈

[screambirdscreaming]

Something that peeves me whenever I see another post going around with some variation on "autistic people take things literally which means we are the only people who communicate Clearly and Directly" is that - for any given statement, there is not one singular, agreed on, universal Literal Interpretation. If there was, none of this would be a problem!

The nature of language is that there's always some degree of interpretability. Words have several different meanings, often overlapping, and there's nuance of context, cultural references, and so on.

Faced with a statement, most people will quickly come up with an interpretation that to them makes the most sense. But if you asked a roomful of people to explain in detail their interpretations, everyone's would probably be a little different, even for a pretty simple statement. Regardless of whether those people are autistic! Everyone conceptualizes the world a little differently, and everyone has a unique personal history of all the language they've encountered, and these things effect our interpretations.

In order for communication to be workable, given this slosh in interpretability, there's another couple of processes that go on. As conversation goes on, people reassess if their initial interpretation matches up with additional context. If it doesn't, they revise it, or ask clarifying questions. And on the flipside of this process, the other person in conversation is tracking if your reactions make sense with *their* understanding of what they're trying to convey to you, and offering context or rephrasing things if it seems you're out of alignment.

These processes are social skillsets that are, like most social skillsets, not ever directly articulated or explained. Many people are bad at one or both. Sometimes you encounter someone who is really, notably good at it - the vaunted "good listener", who puts in the effort to really understand what you're trying to say, or that really excellent teacher who engages with you back and forth until you really get it. But a lot of the time, it's a sort of passive social friction - people just not getting each other.

Sometimes, you encounter someone whose brain works so much like yours that talking to them feels almost effortless - you just get each other. But that's a pretty rare occurrence for anyone. More often, as you get to know someone, you start to understand the shape of the way they interpret things and learn to account for it, so over time it's easier to make sense to each other.

It's honestly not uncommon in society for people to aggregate in groups of people who interpret things similarly, and who are thus easier to talk to, rather than actually building the skills of communicating across interpretation gaps. Particularly egregious are those groups of men who talk about Women as an incomprehensible monolith, but it turns up to a greater or lesser degree on a lot of levels.

I suspect this is the root of a lot of parenting problems - people who have never built this communication skillset, and relied on choosing friends who make sense to them without a lot of effort, and who are then totally unprepared to interact with a child who interprets things in ways they don't expect.

Obviously I can't speak to The Universal Typical Experience, not least because it doesn't exist. But in general I would posit that:

Most people, give or take a few assholes, are not trying to say things that are confusing. Most people think they are communicating clearly, because the first interpretation *they* would come up with on hearing one of their own sentences is the correct interpretation.

Many people are not very good at accounting for different ways people could interpret things they're saying. However, it is normal and polite social behavior to be somewhat flexible about this and forgiving of misunderstandings. If people are being shitty to you about not understanding them, they are assholes. And I wouldn't assume that the rest of the communication they have with everyone else they know goes totally smoothly for them.

I suspect there is a bit of an unfortunate feedback loop, where people have bad experiences when someone gets mad at them for not getting something, and learn to hide when they're confused. Which then leads to larger, more complicated misunderstandings, which other different people get upset at them about, because those people think they should have asked for clarification in the first place.

Truly you can't win with everyone. No one can win with everyone. There is no monolith of "neurotypical communication" which resolves all these contradictions - all those people you're lumping in together under "neurotypical" have just as much trouble with each other.

[pineapple-frenzy]

Book 2 au doodles

It's just a bunch of random moments with Zuko looking grumpy for most of them,,, he can be happy for at least one drawing tho

[lilybug-02]

Pain is a great motivator…

Part 26 || First || Previous || Next

—Full Series—

Meanwhile Toriel:

(Loud noises don't wake her up usually.)

Artist note: I’m so proud of this :))) I know it’s a lot of dialogue and reading, but dialogue is grueling work for me. I’m glad with the art and for the amount of pages I made in such a relatively short time span -w- page 5 was super fun to work on. A lot of blood, sweat, and hours here... :) The backgrounds were a big bore tbh, but I finished them! Yippie!

[remxedmoon]

i hit 1k followers recently!!!! yipee!!!!!!! thank you all!!! so in celebration here’s all of my completed isat doodle pages, from oldest to newest. go nuts with them!! and maybe don’t look at the first doodle page too closely. it’s Old.

(no greyscale version below for once! just some mushy ramblings. you don’t have to read them don’t worry)

hhhhhha?? so many people. where did you come from. how did you all find me.

ok but seriously, thank you all so much for all the support. i never really. expected to make it this far? like, ever?? i’ve mentioned it a few times on here, but i’ve been a lurker for the past… 2 years, i think? and even before that, i never gained much traction outside of a couple posts. so this has been. very new to me!! in a nice way!! it’s weird to feel like an actual member of a community!! that people know about!

the idea of finally coming back to social media was Daunting (i literally got stress hives writing my first post lol) and the warm reception really. meant a lot?? i don’t think i would’ve ever gotten the courage to come back if i hadn’t been encouraged to by the people over at the isat discord!!

the fact that people actually care about my art still doesn’t feel real?? seeing people take inspiration from my art is just. surreal. just. auagssh. thank you all so so much for everything, i really do appreciate it!!! i’m really glad to be in this community. sorry if this all sounds sappy and long winded i’ve just got a lot of emotions about this whole thing!!

(also as a bonus for reading all this or whatever. here’s a concept page for isatscryption! it felt a little out of place next to my normal canvases so i’m putting it down here! yipee! sorry my notes here are so disjointed auauau…)

[valtsv]

filial cannibalism // matriphagy