#and i love when a person has Confidence in their family/friend/lover

[baby-xemnas]

its not the worst post ive ever seen i get the sentiment and agree with 1/3 of it

but

"

"

thankfully you are wrong and Law Was NOT the one "to be there" for Luffy in his darkest hour, it was Jinbe and Rayleigh

just like Luffy or any of the SH wasnt "there for" Law in DR in an emotional sense and it was Sengoku instead that Law had an emotional moment with regarding Rosinante's memory

i trash Oda for falling off but he is good at NOT writing "this rando i just met and have no attachment to solved all my problems" his emotional connections are well earned

[ilydeku]

izuku loves to talk about you during interviews

- anything and every topic it will ALWAYS be about you

- the question won't even be remotely related to you and still izukus answer will revolve around "y/n, my wife!!" <3

- oh, the glint in his eyes, the peaking smile when he speaks about you, lover boyyy

- the media knows he LOVE LOVES you, they think it's funny for this big, confident, mighty hero to be reduced to sap when it comes to you

- it's like his whole is personality is HIS WIFE

- the journalists lowkey get so SICK of him for this, they don't want to invite him anymore 😭

- but they kinda have to, due to to his status as #1

"Good evening everyone and welcome Hero Talk! Tonight we'll be staring someone you all know and love, single handedly the greatest hero of all time, Deku! Alright, Deku how are you tonight?"

"Feeling pretty good! This is one of my wife's favorite shows, so I'm even more grateful to be here. And how are you?"

"Oh, same old. Really, just living. Now, we wanted to ask you some fun questions. Let's start with this one. Why did you want to become a hero?"

"Wow, haha! That really brings be back to my youth. When I was kid, my biggest influence was All Might, and he miraculously became my mentor. He was a good hero, and a good man. I wanted to be just like him: fearless, persevering, saving people with I smile. I would beg my mom everyday to watch this video on the computer of him saving a bunch a people. I was really swayed by All Might. I wanted to become a hero to make an impact in the world. I wanted to save people with a smile too."

"That sounds really endearing, Deku. I remember All Might's reign. He wasn't number one on the top charts all those years for nothing. So, did you ever think you'd be standing as Japan's top hero?"

"Well, it was never really my goal to become number one. That was Kacchan's- Dynamight's. My dream was, like I said, to become a hero and save others. But I have to say, it really is a blessing. I'd like to thank my Mom, All Might, my friends, and especially my wife for who I've become. My Mom has really done a lot for me growing up: protecting, encourage, and just always caring for me. All Might has kinda been that father figure for me when my Dad was away. My friends have shown me what it's like to work together and really be part of a heart. And my wife? Haha...I can't thank her enough for all the times she's been right by my side, even before we were together. Nothing I can say or do will ever be enough to express how much she means to me."

"Mm. Quite the supportive group. Your wife sounds like quite the lady!"

"She is. She's wonderful."

"Moving on to the next question, do you use social media often?"

"Occasionally, yes?? My wife uses it regularly, posting about us when we go out and stuff. It's mostly for her family to see how she's doing. She handles most of my official accounts. She says it's to be more appealing to the public, and I guess to show that there's more to heroes on the inside?? I'm not really sure, but I trust her process. Although, I'd rather be appealing to her alone."

"The public will always interested in a hero's private life! Now, Deku, what is your ideal setting of relaxation?"

"My wife doesn't like places that are too crowded or noisy, so maybe a cozy day at the beach?- but early in the morning or in the evening when the crowds calm down. Maybe a movie theatre, but days after the movie is released so it's just us together. Actually, a lazy day at home together is great too! Cooking meals and watching a movie on the couch? Really, any place is relaxing if my wife is with me."

(am i questioning Deku's wife or Deku!?) "How scenic! Those sound very fitting for you!! How about any restaurants?"

"Not really. My wife really knows how to cook, it's amazing! I love her home-cooked meals, so there's no way I'd go out of my way to a restaurant. But if my wife is feeling it, I'll be sure to make reservations."

"(sigh)"

"(smiling warmly)"

[calisources]

𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐃 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐀𝐆𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐐𝐔𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒.

All sentences were taken from different sources about romance, marriage and specially arranged marriage and what that entails. Mentions of affairs, mistresses, wedding ceremonies and medieval talks of what marriage entails follow. Change names, pronouns and locations however you see fit.

Marriage is a marriage, whether it is arranged or not. Both necessitate the same level of dedication.

It’s not an option to be best friends with your life partner; it’s a requirement for a firm foundation in a long-term relationship.

Arranged marriage is not always a bed of roses, but it is possible to achieve with love and faith.

It’s different for women, isn’t it? They have no choice where they go. They grow up in a prison and then get married into one.

Is there anything more courageous/stupid than saying yes to spend your life with someone you have no idea about?

The country was as much of a mystery to me as the man I had married.

One day you’ll be in love with me.

You could be a titled lady. 

I have avoided the fate my father had planned for me. Surely it is I who has won, not he.

I do not care about power and wealth, father. I want to marry for love.

But if you were matched, what do you think she'd be like?

We're supposed to be unable to keep our hands off of each other. 

In this case the time is not so important for me, the person asking for commitment is.

We are trapped by convention and must marry another.

Every good child knows: duty before your heart's desire.

I am to be a bride, but whose? 

I married you to stop the bloodshed, and you keep killing. When will it be enough- when?

I found out soon after we met that Leah’s father had promised her in marriage to some young Pole.

If I ever get into an arranged marriage, I want it to be like theirs.

Arranged marriages require effort; constantly and every day. And where there is love, you want to make these efforts.

A successful arranged marriage can help climb the biggest mountain and build the biggest empire.

An arranged marriage is like wine; it tastes good with time.

You will marry him and do your duty to your House.

You are my daughter and you will do as I say. End of discussion.

Love? What does love have to do with marriage?

He'll honour his duty to family and swallow it.

I was three when my parents promised me. When a deal was struck. 

 So I was raised to be his wife. I was taught my favorite color was gold because his favorite color was gold. I was told my favorite foods were his favorite foods

I never thought what it would actually be like to have him... be gone. 

I was raised for him, and now I am... new. I am brand-new. And I do not even know how to breathe air he does not exhale.

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

Marriage is a financial contract; I have enough contracts already.

The dowry, not the wife, is the object of attraction.

Arranged marriages work like this. The girl is hardly asked and is expected to follow whatever her parents deem fit.

Marry, that marry is the very theme I came to talk of.

Maybe she'll be beautiful. Maybe she'll be rich. As long as she brings swords and men.

Perhaps love is a minor madness.

It doesn't matter who the seed is. The important thing is that it has a place in your womb.

Her maidenhood will seal an alliance and must be kept safe.

Every married woman knows a man can have mistresses and we must look the other way.

All I ask is, that you do not cast me aside. Have mistresses and lovers as you please, but confide in me as I am to be your wife.

A husband’s first and foremost job in a marriage is to protect and love his wife.

Touching without looking had been incredibly arousing.

In my opinion, most marriages are based either on money or the fear of being alone.

I want you in every way there is to want. I want you in any way you choose to share.

I'm free to do with my wife as I fucking please.

The marriage of convenience lasts until you become an inconvenience.

Ours is a marriage of convenience and nothing more.

From now on, you're sleeping in our room. There's no chance in hell I'm letting you sleep far away from me again.

You agreed to this marriage and didn’t even dare to ask my opinion on the matter.

You're going to bend, and so am I. We're going to compromise, negotiate, and distract each other.

Being together means our priorities are going to change.

Men marry because they are tired; women, because they are curious: both are disappointed.

I don't think I am likely to marry, Harry. I am much too in love.

It is certainly romantic to be in love, but there's nothing romantic about a definite proposal.

They are royals, whoever they marry is not their choice but who is better for the crown.

That is a match made in a boardroom.

Once you are wed to another, you will forget me. 

I will marry a man who desires me but I have no interest in. 

I will not be a secret kept in shadows. Once you are wed, I will leave.

How can I marry them, when I am in love with another? It is not fair to them, that I think of you when I’m with them.

Ever since I met you, no one else has been worth thinking about.

Behave yourself, out here, we are wed and what you do, reflects on me.

You are being sold like a mare and do not care.

Once I bore him a son, he shall be happy, I know it.

We hate one another but for peace, we must wed. At least, let us enjoy this part of the contract.

I am doing this for my family and for the terms you offer.

A marriage is simply an alliance.

All will be well, love can be found in a marriage. If not love, at least, good company. 

Do your duty and give him sons.  That’s all men want.

I will not be paraded around in a bedding ceremony. I will wed them and bed them, but I will not be humiliated. 

You think this title gives me power, but you forget, I am a woman.

I am lucky enough to have options. None who please me but at least, I can choose one.

Come to bed now, husband. It is our wedding night, after all.

[bouquetface]

TAROT: Gossip on you

As always, I will be detailed. This won’t be for everyone who comes across it.

one.

General read. Not every reading you come across is for you. So please take as entertainment.

I think these people may be family members. They seem very concerned with your direction in life. When will you get married? When will you have kids? And a lot of questions about career. You might be unemployed because it seems someone here is expressing you don’t do enough. However, you probably work very hard. Even if you are unemployed, you likely are applying for jobs. And making good use of your free time. Especially physically, you may work out or walk/run a lot.

They still see this as useless. It seems your values are different from theirs. They may see you working out & going for walks and roll their eyes.

Logically, it makes no sense why this upsets them so much. They seem very bothered by you having your own hobbies/interests. They feel it’s all a waste of time.

I’m assuming your family may be traditional. And they let their expectations for you be known very loudly. You probably grew up constantly being told to fix yourself. Go fix your hair, go change your outfit, etc. You may not even care much for their opinions. Their opinions roll off your shoulder. But they are so loud and consistent in their comments. It’s very frustrating and has probably affected you more than you’re aware. You are likely in a place in life where you can’t even dwell on that. It seems you have a lot of work that needs to be done. Even if that work is looking for work. It’s difficult and exhausting. Wishing you the best of luck, pile 1.

two.

General read. Not every reading you come across is for you. So please take as entertainment.

Someone is talking shit about you. It’s exactly who you would expect. For some it’s an ex lover, for other’s it’s an ex friend. They’ve convinced themselves they did nothing wrong to you. Your reaction was “crazy”. You “changed” for the worse. And they secretly hope you get your karma.

It’s like they have selective memory. They can only remember your reaction to their actions. They can’t remember/acknowledge their actions that got you to react that way. Whoever they’re talking with, is eating up everything they’re saying. You barely know this other person, if at all. It could be their close friend that never was close with you. This friend is loving the drama. They’re going to take this information and spread it to their friends. For them it’s entertainment, they don’t even care about your ex as much as you did.

I almost feel sorry for your ex friend or lover. They have no clue about the person they’re confiding in. It seems karma will get them through this friend. This friend just loves drama and gossip. Give it a few months and they’ll be trashing your ex just like they’re doing you now.

But right now, unfortunately, the two are bonding over tearing you down. I’m hearing this friend say shit like “I hope she gets hit by a car” “I would’ve punched her in the face”. It’s sooo funny to them. Literally witches cackling. They may have given you a rude nickname. In their group chat, they may only refer to you as this name. And someone has definitely called you a “cunt”. Just nasty shit. Sorry pile 2.

On the bright side, I believe for most of you this person is out your life. This seems to be why they’re so hurt. They don’t have the same access to you. Talking about you and checking your socials is the only way they can connect with you now. And ironically, they’re calling you a “stalker”. They’re convinced you’re checking their tiktok and ig religiously.

You might have ghosted them. To you it might be obvious how they fucked up, but they’re in denial. They see themselves as a victim of you.

three.

General read. Not every reading you come across is for you. So please take as entertainment.

Some of the gossip about you isn’t bad at all. You look like you’re doing well in life. You could drive a nice vehicle or people feel you’re just blessed to have a vehicle at all. You have likely done something recently that has people thinking you’re doing well financially. A few comments have been made about this. Doesn’t seem negative though. Just people stating “she’s doing good/ she’s good”.

Now, for someone very specific. The gossip seems to be you’re lying about doing badly when you’re actually fine. It could be work place gossip. Maybe you took some days off but someone here doubts you’re actually that sick. Someone seems fed up in your workplace. It may not even have to do with only you. Lots of stress and irritation from this person. Physically, they may be kinda tall and blonde.

[p1utofairy]

PAC: your upcoming relationship 🎀🫧🎆

pile 1 🧸 —

ok so i immediately heard let the light in by lana del rey ft. father john misty! this is a very passionate relationship pile 1 wow. your person is very patient, attentive and willing to put you first no matter what. the dynamic will be similar to allie and noah's but minus the toxicity…there's a push and pull but just enough to keep each other engaged and entertained. i'm hearing a lot of witty playful banter, you grinning until your cheeks hurt and not being able to keep eye contact because they give you butterflies. i'm feeling some gemini influence in this pile hmmm communication will be really important between the 2 of you. i think you both are very similar when it comes to your interests and values but have a different approach to how you handle your feelings and express your emotions. you may be a bit more hesitant or resistant to sharing how you feel in hopes of keeping the peace but i feel like your person will encourage you to speak your mind instead of bottling it in. this goes for any scenerio as well, they want you to be able to step into your power and not dim your light for anyone or anything. your person could have prominent water/cancer/or 4h placements because they give nurturing vibes. i just heard "I JUST WANNA SEE YOU SHINE, CAUSE I KNOW YOU ARE A STARGIRL." you mean everything to them. even if you two were to have a disagreement, they'd probably be a bit moody at first but at the end of the day they'd want to talk it out and make up with you. (and i heard make it up to you) they'll never want you to go to bed angry at them or vice versa, this person is very mature and doesn't like to cut corners when it comes to their relationships. this person has an "all or nothing" type of mentality, when they commit themselves to you that's it. all they see you is pile 1, awww it's so sweet. you're gonna have lots of fun with this person.

pile 2 ⭐️ —

love you like a brother, treat you like a friend, respect you like a lover. OOOO pile 2 your person is very suave, they know exactly what to say and when to say it. i feel like they light up every room that they walk in & could definitely charm the pants off of anyone. it might be hard to take them serious at first or you may question if they're serious about you because they seem to be very friendly or more experienced. but i'm hearing that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, because although this person may give player vibes they’re actually a sweetheart at the core. i can see this person having a really bright smile, they'll love to make you laugh and put you in a good mood. you will bring a good balance to them, they need stability and you're exactly that. they're very confident and extroverted but deep down they feel like no one really sees them except for you. i'm hearing infrunami by steve lacy so maybe some of you already know this person. it honestly does give a good friends to lovers vibe. i can see you two texting a lot, going on little dates and having random/deep conversations about any and everything. maybe lots of discussions about movies? i'm hearing some of you really love cinema. i think you'll definitely see this person in a different light as you get to know them, compared to your first impression of them. it’s like when andie was putting ben through all those hoops until they went to visit his family in staten island…and once she saw him in his element/who he truly was at the core she realized her feelings for him. yeahhh this is super cute pile 2, i dig it.

pile 3 🍬 —

heyyy pile 3, right off the bat i keep hearing the word CUTE. like maybe this is what people will think when they see you and your person together? you two are absolutely made for each other, i think your inner child will really come out when you're around this person. i can feel the excitement, the giddiness and anticipation you two will exude when you're in each other's presence. i heard "like a kid in a candy store" lol that's adorable. power trip by j. cole ft. miguel is playing…yeah it's very much THAT. i feel like you both will pinch yourselves thinking is this real??? your person is gonna make you feel like you're on cloud 9 hehe i see them getting you flowers, writing you cute little messages on sticky notes and gifting you thoughtful things that you may have mentioned in passing but didn't expect them to remember. i feel like you (and maybe even your person) have been waiting/yearning for a connection like this for very a long time, i get an almost lonely energy. like you've been single for a long time and now you feel whole/complete. the intimacy between you two >>> not even just sexually but intellectually and emotionally! you're gonna feel so safe and comfortable with them. your person is very sentimental and they will never take a moment shared with you for granted. i see polaroid/photobooth pics of you 2 being all close and cutesy :) this person might be a little lowkey/reserved in nature but you definitely bring them out of their shell. the scene where jenna says “arrivederci” and is so giddy when matty responds back with “au revoir” is coming to mind. AH y'all are gonna be so goneeeeee pile 3 i love it for you.

[sefinaa]

❝𝐏𝐀𝐂: 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐮𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐜 𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐫. 𝐈 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐟𝐭 𝐬𝐨 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐚 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫.❞

If you were a song album, what songs would you have?

🐇₊ ⊹ . 🤍 ʚїɞ Masterlist Subliminal Channel Tips

‧₊˚ 🫖⋅♡ 🐇 ʚїɞ 18+ Readings Paid Readings Tarot Services

PAC summary!

ִֶָ☾. Detailed.

࣪ ִֶָ☾. What song titles would you have?

࣪ ִֶָ☾. What genres would it be?

࣪ ִֶָ☾. Why the titles, genres, and what is the meaning of the album?

࣪ ִֶָ☾. Channeled songs.

Moodboard | Divider

Pile I

What song titles would you have?

Three of pentacles reversed.

‘’She was a sexy star.’’

‘’Paint, paint, calm the little one, once a star.’’

“Mad crazy, what a hottie.’’

‘’Butterflies were my favorite, are you one too?’’

“Cute, cute, I'm so cute, yes I am.’’

‘’What did you think would be fair?’’

‘’Alone working tonight.’’

“Gonna have fun being busy with tears in my eyes.’’

“Swift in the rain, nowhere to be seen.’’

“Lost and hurtin’, at least I have you now.’’

“Kiss my ass already.’’

What genres would it be?

The lovers reversed

Rock, pop, or a mixture of those two with folk.

Why the titles, genres, and what is the meaning of the album?

A lot of you like to mix and match your aesthetic and personality, not for the sake of others but because you believe it helps you heal from certain situations. The problem comes from your limited knowledge about how your mind works and what works best for you. As you go through a situation, you become lost around yourself and detach from parts of yourself. And as things keep occurring, you keep removing who you once were. There were times you sought to bring yourself back again, but the fear of remembering the past has eaten you. You are scared to see your past again. People think you move on fast, but that’s a lie; you have not moved on from the past, you ran away. Your past is your reminder for your faults, and you beat yourself up. You have become your own shamer and decided it would be best to have this personality of yours. Yet, you are struggling to show compassion for others despite going through with what they did. You went through the same thing and yet shamed them for it while ultimately doing the same thing with yourself. You kind of have this mindset of, I don’t remember it, but I will act like I did and move on with my life. I don’t think you see it or understand that it’s damaging your heart and mind. You have embraced your darkness.. But that’s all there is to your personality. A lot of you have family members who are concerned for your outbursts and rebellion. It’s completely new to them, and instead of explaining your reasonings.. Which you have no idea about, you push them aside and cause ruckus for everyone that adores you. You only have qualities of your darker sides; some of your lighter sides are trying to come back into your life, but you have kicked them away. You were insecure with them and believed your darker side was better, yet they were equally the same. People have too many misconceptions of the light side being weak and the dark side being stronger when it doesn't matter. When you have a balance between them, you become stronger. You are naturally confident, you can show love to others without becoming the victim of toxic people, and you mind your business. You become intelligent and cunning, but never use it for ill intentions. That was something you wanted, but believed the darker parts of yours were your friend. In a way they are, but you have used those parts in the wrong manner.

A lot of the song titles were focused on confidence and loving yourself, but some of them were also gloomy. Do you see the meaning behind those titles? “What did you think would be fair, alone working tonight, gonna have fun being busy with tears in my eyes, swift in the rain, nowhere to be seen, and lost and hurtin’, at least i have you now.’’ Sure, you ooze natural confidence, but at what cost? The cost of being alone, sobbing yourself at night, wishing you never did this to yourself, and losing yourself in the process because your past hurt you too much? Our past helps us not make the same mistakes again; making the same mistake isn’t a bad thing. It’s beautiful if you see it from another perspective. You need it to see it from a healthy perspective. Yes, the mistakes we make hurt us, but without actually understanding where the mistakes actually came from.. Or why it was caused in the first place, or even how you can learn from it.. You can never truly grow and become a butterfly.

And once you are able to heal from this and bring yourself back from it, you will genuinely tell those who have hurt you to ‘’kiss your ass already.’’ This is why your genre was rock, pop, or with a mix of folk. You will have a lot of spirit during your growth and healing journey, as folk music is relaxing with some beats going up at different moments. That's how you have felt with your journey. It feels chaotic sometimes, and sometimes you wonder if it's worth it in the end. Yet you know in your heart it's worth having the hope you have been painfully crushing and grabbing on since you were a kid. Don't feel the need to grab on that hope; let it go and allow it to come into your body naturally.

Three of cups.

You are also swimming around the surface of finally getting where you have always wanted to, but you must take that final step. Something felt missing with your reading as I finished hearing your channeled songs. You have people who want to see you blossom and have your true self back. But are you ready to become them? Are you ready to move past and stop idolizing your darkness and learn that having some light to you isn't a bad thing? That it’s rather beautiful. Are you even ready to embrace yourself once more and become a butterfly? Are you ready to create a beautiful masterpiece through your love for music, or would you rather keep composing the same music and making the same mistake without a potential to grow into a beautiful composer?

Channeled songs

It girl - Aliyah’s Interlude (before healing)

Harpy Hare - Yaelokre (after healing)

Masterlist ʚїɞ

Pile II

What song titles would you have?

‘’Fast and furious.”

‘’Come on the top.”

“We ride it all night till we party till death.”

“Kill the lady, she done no wrong.”

“Murder on my mind, can’t stop it no more.’’

‘’Soak it all up, we wildin’ all night long.’”

“I’LL KILL YOU ALL TONIGHT! Maybe a bit later, I’m a bit lazy, so tired.’’

What genres would it be?

Queen of swords.

Phonk, and some metal. I also hear elegant pop. Pop music that sounds way too fine and elegant. You ooze the feeling of showing too much natural confidence, and people think that you are playing around.

Why the titles, genres, and what is the meaning of the album?

The chariot reversed, ten of cups reversed, knight of cups reversed, six of swords reversed, and two of wands.

You have gone through a period of pain. People have made you doubt yourself, and you were surrounded with people who adored manipulating you. People thought you would be easy to manipulate because you appeared weak, when that was far from the truth. However, those that were closest to you knew that people were like that with you, and instead of showing genuine love for you, they let it happen to you. Even though you were able to deal with most of the social manipulation, you still had to deal with the betrayal. And those feelings have caused a lot of anger surrounding your heart. Sometimes you think about hurting the people that were closest to you, but then you remind yourself that you want to do better and be better. To be on top and work hard to achieve your desires. But sometimes those thoughts reappear and make you think otherwise. And then you beat yourself up on it when it’s not necessary. You are allowed to feel anger, and you are allowed to feel like you deserve justice. You can feel these thoughts. But you have to remind yourself how deserving you are to feel these emotions and talk about them with yourself so your mind can stop overriding itself from how you are harsh with yourself. Stop allowing yourself to nitpick everything about yourself; would you do it to your favorite character? A lot of you love anime and have a crush on a fictional character, and you fantasize they can never do wrong with you. Why don’t you make that into a reality with yourself? Do no wrong to yourself and show yourself some compassion. Show the love you needed as a kid to yourself.

With ten of cups reversed and knight of cups reversed, tarot tells me that you are causing yourself resentment with yourself. You keep insulting your future self. You keep making yourself feel anger because you are adamant that if your future self does something different, they are useless, a c*nt, or they won’t gain your love. The thing you must understand is that just because your present self wants this in the present moment does not MEAN your future self is interested in that. People always grow out of their shells, and your future self will do the same. They will want things differently because they learn things differently. They know more about what they want in their present moment because they were able to grow. Don’t you seek that growth, or are you too scared of change and desire to stay where you are? Daydreaming about these fictional characters because you are too scared to face reality. The idea of escaping feels better to you, yet it drains you. That’s why your genre would be PHONK or metal. Aside from the actual genre, understand it from a literal direction. Phonk is different rhythms and beats combined to make something sound good, but there is no voice. You lack voice with yourself as your mind has already become chaotic because you won’t do the things you actually want and instead procrastinate it and wonder why things are not changing. And metal would be screaming. You are screaming to yourself, hence the murder parts in the title for the things you want, but it goes in vain because you want things to be summarized. You want things to be done in a flash so you do not actually have to do the work. Your attention span to your life has worsened so much, not because you use your phone so much or your gaming devices. But because you don’t even listen to yourself. Your friends hurt you; you knew people treated you badly—how about yourself? You think it’s okay to be an ass to yourself just like those that hurt you? Be kinder to yourself and become your own best friend. If you don’t, you will only get hurt at the end, just as knight of cups reversed says.

Six of swords reversed says the same thing here. You know you must make a change in your life, but you won’t because you fear finding purpose in your life. You must understand you make your own purpose, your own destiny, and you can make your own choices. You cannot control external factors, only internal ones. So learn to take care of your thoughts and become the best person for yourself. Learn to become brave to face your fears and use your comfort character to help you do the things you want. Take baby steps in becoming productive, and don't push yourself on day one. Think about an anime. At the start, it’s usually calm, sometimes boring, but it never truly gets into the climax. This is where you will learn to figure out what routine you want and what works best for you. Understand what you want to do with your life and how to make sure you relax and take care of your needs. Removing people that do not serve you no longer, removing attachments, showing kindness to yourself, etc. Then comes a situation occurring during the anime that will finally lead to the climax. But this is where you must take the leap, take a risk, and go for what you want. It could be finding a lover that suits what you want just as your comfort character or fictional crush. It could be finding better friends, learning to fall in love with yourself, learning how to cook or go to your dream school, maybe a dream school or college, etc. And then finally the anime goes to its climax, and it becomes very interesting. Yes,  there are ups and downs, but it’s interesting, is it not? This is where your ups and downs will occur, but since you are already well equipped with what you did previously, you are able to handle it because you have learned to be courageous, just as the two of wands show. Maybe a situation occurs and you do not like it and want to relapse into the same situation, but don't. The ending is finally coming, and it’s usually peaceful; if not, there is always a cycle that must end before peace comes.

Channeled songs

Hold up - Beyoncé

XO - Beyoncé

Masterlist ʚїɞ

Pile III

What song titles would you have?

‘’I don’t want to do this.’’

“It’s too much work—wanna procrastinate.’’

“Something is dark within’, whatcha got for it?’’

“Shadows.’’

“Ocean consumed us. It consumed you, didn't it?’’

What genres would it be?

Dark metal and Gloomy Pop with a hint of rap.

Why the titles, genres, and what is the meaning of the album?

Ace of pentacles, three of cups, six of wands (reversed), king of cups, and temperance (reversed).

You recently went through a breakup with someone abusive.. to a certain degree. Others have blamed you as the bad person even though you know it wasn’t the truth. You saw through their lies, and you saw how others had pinned you to be bad. To others, how can your ex be someone good if they were this innocent or shy angel? “It’s simply impossible.” The idea of doing revenge on them crossed your mind, but you have pushed it aside each time. Now, you are struggling if you should do it or not and are looking for answers everywhere and decided to ask a higher being you believe in or trusted tarot readers. However, they keep giving you answers you don’t want, so you cuss them out, moving on to the next. Listen to them.

I am not saying revenge is not the answer; I am not saying anything. I would rather speak to you in an unbiased manner. What is revenge for you? Revenge can be a revenge glow-up, finally having your dream life, or it could be hurting the people who hurt you or killing them. Everyone has a different meaning for revenge, but what does it really mean to you? Ace of pentacles talks about a new beginning, why don’t you use this opportunity and make a name for yourself? Stop procrastinating the things that have scared you and go do it instead. Sure, it will take some time disciplining yourself to get into that mindset, but in the future, you will thank yourself. The titles I channeled for you all aimed to someone else or something else. What are you hiding from yourself? What are you so scared to admit to yourself that you have to hide in the shadows?

There was a moment of happiness for you when the relationship occurred. You gave them the world, always healed for them, always did better for them, and wanted to have a common goal with them. But instead of a common ground with them, what did they do to you? Used you to ruin your reputation and then run away when you mentioned that goal. And now the people you loved turned against you, and you have nothing now.

Nothing to lose.

You have nothing to lose, so why don’t you give it your all and gain something this time? You are at a point where you can do whatever you want because there are no consequences. None at all. What did you want so badly during your relationship that you postponed it for their sake?

With six of wands (reversed), the card focuses on how you should not expect success each time. You have tried to reach for what you want, but each time you did, you didn’t set realistic goals. You expected a better outcome each time but never learned your lessons. Sometimes people become too excited because they have opportunities to grow and get to a better environment, but they forget how hard it is to get there. To get where you desire, you might have to hike for hours upon hours to see a beautiful sunset or view. Some people would call it dangerous and stupid, some would say it’s a waste of time and others would find it to be a great idea. Focusing on someone’s ideals isn’t what you should thrive for. Thrive for what you want instead. Learn to stop caring about what others’ say about you.

I am aware that everyone says it all the time, but they never give the person a direction to start, so when those thoughts arise, simply tell yourself that you do not care. That you do not care what others say to you. Keep saying this as doubts appear, and you will start to believe it. And as you do this, allow yourself to do the things you want to do again, but without any expectations. Set realistic goals. Let’s say you want to get an A on your chemistry exam. What goals do you have in mind already? Why not just strive for a B? Maybe a B is average or not good enough, but your knowledge is not based on a letter; it’s based on what you know later on. So maybe you didn’t do so well and got a C because of nerves and failed your goal. So what? Get back up and do it again until you get your B and then strive for a B+. Eventually, as you do it, you will understand you are capable of doing better and improving; you will learn how to be kinder to yourself and also learn better for the future.

As for why you have those genres or titles, it’s rather self-explanatory. To explain it shortly, you didn’t want to do something again because of your fear of failure and the expectations you had. (’’I don’t want to do this. It’s too much work—wanna procrastinate’’). Your abusive ex made your life a living hell, and you tried to help them become better as you were healing yourself to do better for them. You gaslighted yourself, thinking it was your fault when it was theirs. (“Something is dark within’, whatcha got for it?’’). The ocean ‘’consumed’’ the both of you, when in reality it was just them and their dark soul. It made you think worse of yourself, and you became more sensitive to the world. Letting people walk over you and make yourself start prioritizing others, thinking that is what was necessary when you were genuinely perfect the way you were when you had already healed. (“Ocean consumed us. It consumed you, didn't it?’’). Dark metal and gloomy pop is how you have been feeling lately, and your mind has been running in circles trying to understand everything, which is why rap was added. Taking those genres in a literal fashion instead of what it truly is about.

Since the meanings are self-explanatory, I do want to add something from my side. None of it is channeled, and think of it as a small message from me to you.

Sometimes we know what is best for us, and we try to strive for it. Sometimes we think it’s the final answer, but it usually isn’t. You can keep looking for answers, but it will consume you and make you drown for more. Sometimes peace is better than knowing the answer. Having peace of mind is better than knowing the answer. We don’t know why people who are like your ex do the things to us, but what I have learned is that they are hurting, but they are taking it on the wrong people. Sometimes you want to help them improve and change, and they become triggered, so they lash on you. Know that it’s not your fault for what they did to you. Just because they were hurting doesn't mean you deserve what they did to you, and you never will, not even for your past and the guilt and shame that is still lingering on. People can be assholes and never go through trauma, or they can be ones and go through one, but sometimes they go through something and it changes them for the better or for the worse. Don’t focus on the other person in this aspect; think about what you would do with that experience, and if it does occur to you, have faith in yourself to handle it just like you would have thought. You had a rational mindset during it, and it was unbiased, and maybe it wasn’t the same understanding, but it was still unbiased of how you would handle it. Even when situations like those don't arise, instead of listening to your heart in those painful moments. Take some time to think and then address it. Even if they ridicule and make fun of you because you are not talking or answering back, know that you are being rational and won't have any regrets in the end. Those tips have been helpful for me, so I would hope they would do the same for you.

Take care of yourself, and don’t blame yourself for that scumbag’s wrongdoings.

Channeled songs

Friends - BloodPop and Justin Bieber

In the Shadows - The Rasmus

Masterlist ʚїɞ

[wwinterwitch]

right person, all the wrong times - anthony bridgerton

summary: you and anthony have been in love with one another from the moment you met, but it seems as though nothing will ever happen between you. after you catch the attention of another gentleman, he realizes perhaps it's time to finally do something about his feelings pairing: anthony bridgerton x fem!reader word count: 7.3K tags: mutual pining, best friends to lovers, angst and fluff, period-typical topics (marriage is everything, gender roles, all that stuff), daphne being match maker as always, kissing, it gets briefly suggestive like once, if i skipped anything please let me know. note: i started this show two days ago and i'm already halfway through season 2. i couldn't hold myself from writing whatever this is and i thought i'll share since it's the longest fic i've ever written. english is not my first language so writing in a way that resembles the show was a whole challenge for me!

a reblog and/or comment really helps me out as a content creator so thank you in advance if you take the time to do either!

all masterlists | buy me a coffee

You and Anthony have been best friends for years now. Even when he's a few years older than you, the two of you became inseparable shortly after knowing one another. No one seems to know or understand you quite like he does, and you've become the person he always turns to when he needs someone.

It happened just a few months after you were introduced into society. You were lucky to bump into him that night in Ms. Danbury's ballroom, and after repeated apologies and quick introductions, you stayed with him for the rest of the event.

Your families were excited to see the two of you talking, already picturing the moment when he shows up to your house and asks for your hand in marriage. However, as time passed, it was evident for everyone that nothing was ever going to happen.

And as embarrassing as it is to admit, you were just as disappointed to realize Anthony considered you to be just a friend. From day one, you were absolutely captivated by him, and you truly thought he was as interested as you were. Unfortunately, it seems as though your feelings have never been –and never will be– reciprocated.

Of course, you never let that stop you from trying to find in others what you so effortlessly found in Anthony from the moment you laid eyes on him. It hasn't been easy, but you continue to look for that special someone.

Despite everyone knowing about your proximity to the Viscount, a fair share of suitors were always there available for you. Some move past the mere privilege of dancing with you if they prove to be interesting enough, but none of them have made it far enough.

Perhaps the search would be easier if you weren't deeply in love with your best friend, but there's no way you'll ever be able to control how you feel. You can't control the butterflies in your stomach when you notice him approaching you, or how it seems as though everyone around disappears when you two are together.

Anthony doesn't contribute to making your situation any easier. His friendship is one of the greatest gifts you've ever received, but it has caused you a great deal of pain and confusion. Even when he's nothing but your friend– even when he has confided in you many times that marriage is the last thing on his mind, you can't help but notice certain things. Certain gestures, certain stares...he has surely given you reasons to believe your feelings might be reciprocated.

One of the many things he does that inevitably lifts your hopes up is the fact that he absolutely despises every possible suitor you've ever had. Whether he claims to know them and they're the worst person imaginable, or he starts speculating based on his own prejudices, it seems as though no man is worthy of you in Anthony's eyes. You've always wondered why he's so adamant about that claim.

"There you are!" Daphne excitedly greeted you one evening at yet another social gathering. "I was afraid I'd miss the chance to spend even a moment with you tonight, considering how busy you seem to be with all your suitors," she smiles, quickly glancing across the room.

"Well, I could say the same thing. I've seen you dance for most of the night," you remark. "I bet your brother is furious."

"Oh, believe me, he is! But I'm not the only one he's concerned about," her smile only grows after her insinuation. It's no secret that Daphne has always hoped for you to officially join their family, as she's convinced her brother is ridiculously in love with you. "I was only able to escape from him because he couldn't stop telling Benedict just how awful the men you were dancing or talking to are."

"He does have that habit, yes. Poor Benedict," you joke, turning around to spot the two brothers still talking.

Before Daphne could say a thing, a man approached the two of you. As you laid eyes on him, you recognized him as the first gentleman you had a dance with tonight. Both of you smiled at him as he extended his hand your way. "May I have another dance with you, my lady?"

You look at Daphne, who quickly takes a step back to let you know you can go. He gently grabs your hand once you've accepted his invitation, guiding you to the dance floor.

Mr. Demrick is a fine gentleman. He's been nothing but kind, charming and attentive, not to mention he's ridiculously handsome. This isn't the first evening you two have crossed paths, having the honor of dancing a few times before. He seems to have a strong interest in you. Your Mama has expressed many times that it's a matter of time before he's asking for your hand.

You do, however, notice a big flaw in this seemingly perfect man. He's no Anthony Bridgerton.

And speaking of, as you're dancing with Mr. Demrick's hand on your back and the other gently holding one of your own, you can't help but notice Anthony exactly where he once was. He's already looking your way and even from a distance you notice he's as stiff as ever, arms crossed, muttering things to Benedict.

It leaves you to wonder once again if he's being protective over his friend or if there's a deeper meaning to his apparent disgust for all the men that have ever shown interest in you.

After that night, Mr. Demrick's interest in you was more evident than ever. All Daphne could talk about with Lady Bridgerton and your Mama during supper the next day was the different bouquet of flowers he sent you and how breathtakingly beautiful they were.

"Needless to say, I'm very happy for you," Daphne seems to be finished with her talk about the flowers, turning to look at you from across the table. "You two make a very lovely match."

"No doubt you'll be very happy with such a nice and handsome gentleman for a husband," Lady Bridgerton agrees.

Everyone quickly turns to look at Anthony when he lets out a quick chuckle, looking down at his food and pretending he was barely listening.

"Something wrong, Anthony?" Lady Bridgerton asks shortly after with a rather serious tone.

He finally looks up, smiling at his mother. "Not at all. Please, continue with your...delightful chat."

You glared at him and despite you trying to ignore it, something deep within you made it impossible not to say something else regarding Mr. Demrick just to upset Anthony further. "He has invited my family to a picnic to meet his own," you say, noticing the way your best friend immediately turns to look at you with a horrified expression.

"We're really looking forward to that," your mother chimes in, trying to keep the conversation going after Anthony's interruption.

"Cheers to that!" Eloise exclaimed ironically, and you noticed she was looking directly at her eldest brother. "A man brave enough to pursue the heart of a lady is always a reason to celebrate, right?"

Now it was Colin and Benedict the ones who couldn't hold back their laughter after noticing their brother's reaction to that comment.

"What's so funny?" Hyacinth asks, looking impossibly confused.

Eloise's comment evidently made everything a lot worse. Little Gregory joins his sister in their inquiry to know what was going on, until Lady Bridgerton ordered them to stay quiet.

You didn't like El's insinuation one bit, as it does nothing to help with your delusions, but at least you were appreciative of the fact that she was willing to be with you on this one despite her disgust towards the whole idea of marriage and the position a woman is put in because of it. Perhaps she's willing to overlook that detail for the sake of upsetting one of her siblings.

As soon as dinner was over, Anthony offered to accompany you and your mother outside to your carriage. You didn't protest, and quickly calmed Daphne and Lady Bridgertons worries after they started apologizing fervently for his behavior during the evening.

Anthony immediately knew you were upset. It was evident in the way you walked in complete silence without acknowledging he was there next to you.

"Can I have a word with you before you leave?" Anthony asks as soon as the three of you are outside the Bridgerton home.

"Is it okay? If you're too tired we can leave right away."

"It's perfectly fine, dear. I'll wait in the carriage," your Mama replies. "Thank you, Lord Bridgerton, but there's no need," she quickly added when Anthony offered his arm to help her walk down the steps of the entrance. "Please reiterate my gratitude to my dear Violet for having us today."

"Of course," he nodded, returning your Mama's smile. Even when he behaves rather poorly, your mother absolutely adores him. It warms your heart to see how good they get along.

Your Mama walks to the carriage, leaving you and Anthony alone. "I apologize for my behavior tonight."

"I don't think your apologies are sincere."

"I don't know what else do you expect, if I'm being honest," he replies, and immediately knows he has to say something because of your reaction to that comment. "That man is not a good match for you. He's not on your level, and I'm quite certain that he won't be able to make you happy."

"How could you possibly know that?"

"Because I know you. And I know when someone is not right for you."

You scoffed. "No one ever seems to be good enough for me."

Anthony nodded. "Yes, exactly."

"Can't you just be happy for me? Or at least pretend that you are?" you ask, exasperated. It's one thing that he doesn't reciprocate your feelings, but to stand here and claim to be your best friend when he acts like this is something entirely different. Something you can't and won't stand for. "I don't understand why you have to try to ruin every chance I get to find someone."

"Because," he says sternly, as if it was obvious. But is it really that obvious? Is it obvious to you, or even to him?

A dim light of hope shines through in the depths of your heart, knowing very well how dangerous that has been in the past. "Because what?"

He stood there in front of you, looking rather troubled. You notice the way he hesitates and for a moment you almost could've sworn he wanted to take a step closer to you.

But that never happened, and instead all you got was a "because you're my best friend, and I care about you," from him. The same thing you've heard over and over. That godforsaken phrase that has shattered your heart into million pieces over the years.

You try to hide your disappointment, looking up at him with a stern glance. "If I'm truly your best friend, you'd support my decisions instead of brutally questioning them like you always do."

With that said, you didn't wait for any sort of answer as you quickly walked towards your carriage, barely acknowledging your driver and your mother as you headed back home.

Anthony watches as you walk away, once again feeling like a complete fool for not saying something else. For not daring to take that extra step and reveal the real reason why he won't accept anyone else as your husband. It's quite simple, really. The real reason is that he wants to be the one you marry.

But he didn't say anything yet again, and all that's left for him to do is go back inside his house to listen to Eloise and Daphne calling him a fool while the rest agree with them. He doesn't say much about their claims, as they couldn't possibly be more true.

This is exactly what he deserves for acting so cowardly. He gets shamed by his siblings for not doing something about his feelings while you go home, probably thinking about that absurd picnic with Mr. Demrick until you go to sleep.

Next day, you try to forget all about Anthony Bridgerton and focus on your date with Mr. Demrick. Your families were sitting around all together while he asked if you would like to take a walk with him.

He's lovely. Offering his arm for you, complimenting you every chance he gets, making you laugh with his endless anecdotes and quick remarks. He's everything you should need, yet your mind wanders back to your best friend. You can't help it. All you want is for him to be the one kissing your hand and telling you you're the most captivating sight of all.

Your Mama could barely hold her excitement when she read what Lady Whistledown had to say about you and Mr. Demrick after the families were seen spending time together. "The union of the season", she called it. And it shouldn't come as a surprise, as both of you come from wealthy and respected families. It's evident everyone takes a great interest in the possible union.

Still, you were very much intimidated by it, as all eyes will be on you until there's news about an engagement.

And just as you predicted, every lady turned to look at you as you went to visit the modist for a new dress for the next ball. You must look absolutely perfect to earn the approval of everyone and capture Mr. Demrick's heart for good.

At that point, the realization finally started to settle. You're soon becoming a wife, moving to your own home and starting a family. And all of that with a man that you respect and care for, but are incapable of loving.

But perhaps this arrangement will make your feelings for Anthony become nothing but a memory. A memory you won't even care to think about when you have such a wonderful husband by your side.

Days passed and Mr. Demrick continued to send all sorts of gifts to your house. You made the choice of inviting him over so the two of you could spend more time together before the next ball. He was sitting on a couch with your mother while you played the piano for them.

"That was certainly a very beautiful performance," he says once you're done playing. "And you said you composed that yourself?"

"Indeed. I like spending my days playing the piano," you smile brightly.

The entire reunion was quickly ruined when someone burst inside the room. You turn around in your seat to find Anthony standing there, barging in completely unannounced and unexpectedly. It was unclear to you why you felt the need to stand up from your seat to greet him but you did, feeling your heart rapidly beating in your chest at the sight of him.

Oh, how badly you've missed him.

"What are you doing here, Anthony?" you ask, immediately remembering your soon-to-be fiancée and your mother are also in the room. "I'm afraid I'm with a guest right now. Whatever it is, it'll have to wait, my lord."

You never call him that, ever. It was evident by his reaction that he absolutely hated the fact that you refer to him as such.

"My apologies. I didn't mean to disrupt, but I believe it's an urgent matter."

"My lord, I–"

"I must insist," he quickly cuts you off, looking rather desperate.

You try to come up with something to say, knowing you should stand your ground and make him leave, but you were so happy to be in his presence again that the feelings completely clouded your judgment.

"No worries, my lady," you hear Mr. Demrick say, standing up from his seat and sending you a reassuring smile. "I'm sure whatever Lord Bridgerton is here for requires your immediate attention, given his insistence," he added shortly after, giving Anthony a not so friendly look. "I'm sure we can visit the gardens while we wait?"

Your mother nodded after his question. "Of course. That should be more than enough time for Lord Bridgerton to communicate his urgent matter."

Neither Mr. Demrick nor your mother were pleased by Anthony's presence, but you couldn't thank them enough from sparing you this one time. You know this man like no one else does, and you're certain that he wouldn't take a no for an answer and that would've made the situation a lot worse.

"Perfect," Mr. Demrick says before gesturing for your mother to lead the way. Before he leaves the room, he gives Anthony one last look before turning his attention back to you. "Perhaps we should discuss where you'd like your new piano to be in our future home once I'm back. I'd love for my wife to continue doing what she enjoys, especially when she's so extraordinary at it."

You smile after his comment, trying your best not to look at Anthony until Mr. Demrick is officially gone because you can imagine his features are clearly expressing his thoughts regarding that last comment. Once both of them are out of sight, you finally look at him.

"What is wrong with you?" you snapped almost immediately. "I'm glad Mr. Demrick is a patient and understanding man! He could've easily decided to leave the very instant you walked through that door demanding to have a word with me."

"I think he's captivated enough, my dear. I doubt you'll ever get rid of him," he replies, evidently disgusted by the thought of him.

"I don't intend to get rid of him. And do not call me that again."

"Why not? I've always called you that."

"That was before I met Mr. Demrick. Now, it is completely inappropriate."

"Oh, please. It's not like you're already his wife."

"But I will be soon," you point out. He's quiet after that, which gives you room to continue talking. "You must understand that a married woman cannot have other men calling her such things."

"So am I supposed to start addressing you like you're nothing but a stranger? Or perhaps you'd like me to already start calling you Mrs. Demrick? Is that how things will go? You marry this insufferable man and I have to just accept the fact that I no longer have my best friend?"

"I don't know what else you want me to say," you mutter, feeling like you could cry any minute now. "This was going to happen sooner or later."

"It was never supposed to be this way," he sighs, and your soul aches for him when you notice the way he's looking at you. Defeated, exhausted, disappointed, frustrated. You've never seen this particular mixture of emotions reflected in his eyes before.

"And how exactly it was supposed to be?"

Anthony was quiet, too quiet for your liking. You see his hesitation once again and you brace yourself to hear yet another confirmation of the fact that you're nothing but a friend. It doesn't matter that he glances at you from across the room like he can't help himself. It doesn't matter that all the Bridgerton siblings have made insinuations about you and Anthony's relationship. It's all in your head, because you're nothing but a friend.

In a surprising turn of events, you watch as he takes a few steps closer to you. He's cautious of every move, not wanting to scare you– or himself. The beat of your heart speeds up and your hands shake slightly when he's finally in front of you.

You look up at him like a deer coming face to face with a hunter, but in this case you're unable to run away for your life. He's dangerously close to you, gently moving his hand up to touch your face.

The second his fingers brush against your cheek, a shiver travels down your spine and you can't help but close your eyes because his touch is absolutely heavenly. Your breath hitches in the back of your throat when his digits trace down your neck until his hand settles there, holding you with his fingers behind your ear and his thumb still caressing the skin of your face.

"It should go like this," he whispers, and you finally open your eyes to see him looking at you with such adoration, you were certain your legs could betray you any second now and completely give in, causing you to fall straight to the ground.

He leans slightly closer after seconds of just contemplating you, and even though you closed your eyes again, feeling his nose brushing against yours, you're able to snap out of your trance before he could actually kiss you.

"It's not right..." you're able to say, pulling back from him but not nearly enough. He's still very much holding you.

"It is, my dear. I can tell you wish for this as badly as I do."

"Please, Anthony..." you try, but your body betrays you when your hand is resting on his bicep.

"I've always adored the way my name sounds when it's you the one calling me," he confesses, and your stomach fills with butterflies.

You realize he's leaning closer again, but before he can do so you manage to gather all traces of self-control that were almost stripped from you to move back, setting free of his touch.

Anthony stands there, absolutely confused and heartbroken, and is right then when you can't keep your tears in any longer.

"I'm afraid it is too late," you mutter. This has got to be the most painful thing you'll ever have to do. "I'm getting engaged soon."

"But you're not anyone's yet. There's still time if you haven't accepted any proposals."

"Please, don't make this any harder than it should be," you sob, wiping your tears away.

"Darling–"

"Believe me, no one would want this more than me," you interrupted. "You have no idea how many times I've found myself fantasizing about this very moment. For you to say all of this, to be yours forever..." Tears continue to roll down your cheeks and the sight is too much for Anthony to endure, as his own eyes are starting to fill with tears as well. "But it is not possible anymore. I'm sorry, I really am. I won't ask you to understand or accept my decision, but I'd appreciate that you can at least respect it."

"I won't. I refuse to let you marry someone else when we both know we belong together."

"Anthony, Mr. Demrick–"

"You still can't even call your future husband by his own name?"

You sigh, frustrated. "Charlie will become my husband. I don't doubt that he'll be an excellent companion, and that you'll find someone else in time. Soon enough, we'll be nothing but a memory."

"Is that really what you want?" he asks, and your heart sinks when you notice his voice breaking slightly.

You take a few seconds to answer. Of course that's not what you want. You want Anthony to be your husband. You'll always want him and him only. But it's already too late for any of that.

Feeling more heartbroken than ever before, you have to look back at Anthony and fight the urge to run to his arms. "Yes. And I also want you to leave."

Anthony was barely keeping it together, not wanting to cry in front of you. He's once again taking a few steps closer to you, but stops at a reasonable distance to grab your hand to kiss it. "Very well, my lady," he says with a quick bow of his head. "I apologize for wasting so much of your time. Let me assure you, I'll never bother you again."

He let your hand go and immediately turned to the door to leave. As soon as you no longer hear his footsteps, you fall to your knees and allow yourself to cry, feeling like the sorrows from this conversation will haunt you for the rest of your days.

Knowing Mr. Demrick and your mother could be here any minute, you decided to stand up from the ground as soon as you could to lock yourself in your room, where you could be away from everyone for a while until you feel ready to go downstairs and pretend you're content with this life that you've chosen for yourself today.

You really know you shouldn't, as you've played a part just as big as his in the downfall of everything you could've had together, but you can't help it as you curse Anthony for taking so long. You curse him for deciding to do something about his affection for you when it's far too late. And most importantly, you curse him because despite knowing it's over, you are certain that there's nothing you can do to ever get over your feelings for him.

As soon as you realize you're being unfair by putting all the blame on him, you also curse yourself for being as blind and coward as he was. And you curse life itself while you're at it, because you feel like making everyone and everything responsible for not being able to live the life that you wanted.

―

It's been a few days after the last time you and Anthony spoke. Just days, but it has felt like years and years without him. He hasn't reached out to you, and you couldn't deny that not having him around was absolute torture. There was no greater pain than this.

But you were hopeful that you could see him again at tonight's ball. It was all you could think about as you were getting ready.

"You look lovely, sister," the youngest of your family says, watching as one of the maids is finishing with your hair. "I can't wait to join all of you next season!"

"Thank you, my dearest," you smile at her. "I cannot wait for that either. Perhaps I can help you choose your dress and do your hair for your first ball."

"Yes, please!"

Your youngest sister stayed in your room with you until it was time for everyone to leave. Your father waited by the door while your mother put all of your siblings in line to check their appearance and make sure everyone was looking flawless.

Like the Bridgertons, your family was also quite large. Your older sister is already married so she no longer lives with you, but your parents still have a handful of children to take care of. Your two older brothers haven't married yet and neither have you. There's also your little sister, who's debuting next season, and your baby brother who's barely ten years old.

To this day, you have no idea how they were able to handle the chaos that six children can bring. For that, you admire them deeply.

Once your mother made sure everything was in order, you and your brothers followed her and your father to the carriage. They start a conversation, but you're barely paying any attention, as Anthony is keeping your head occupied again.

Eventually, you reach the residence where the ball's taking place and the five of you make your way inside. As all of you are standing outside the doors of the hall where the event is taking place, you feel a hand reaching out to grab yours. You turn around to look at your mother staring at you with a sympathetic smile.

"I'm so sorry, Mama," you say out of nowhere, though it's practically the only thing you've been able to say to her lately.

"You made the right choice, dear," she reassures you. "Are you ready?"

You nod, inhaling deeply before your mother lets go of you, standing with your father as they wait for you to take the first step. As soon as all of you are entering the room, you notice everyone staring your way, their eyes still filled with expectancy and excitement.

They still believe you're going to marry Mr. Demrick.

You quickly scan the room as you walk down the stairs, the familiar feeling in your stomach appearing when you spot Anthony along with his siblings, his eyes never once leaving you. Despite everything that has happened, he still looks at you like you're the only person in that room.

Your parents go off one way to mingle with other parents attending the event while your siblings scatter around the ballroom to greet their friends and find possible matches.

Having a chance to talk to Anthony was the only reason you decided to attend. Still, you didn't know how and when it'd be okay for you to approach him. Things didn't end on the best of terms, so it's normal for you to have your doubts.

Instead of immediately approaching him, you walk around the room, never losing sight of him. You couldn't help but smile to yourself the first time you catch him looking around the room, unsuccessful to locate you.

"I was hoping to see you tonight," you hear Daphne's voice next to you, sending you back to reality. "You look as beautiful as ever."

"Thank you, so do you."

Your friend smiles at you, briefly looking to where you previously were. "Are you looking for someone?"

"No, not at all," you immediately shake your head, imitating her smile.

"I apologize for what I'm about to say. I don't believe it is the time nor place, but I cannot hold myself back," she says with obvious concern as her smile is replaced with a frown. "My brother told me everything that happened the other day. I don't think I'll ever be able to express how sorry I am."

"Oh, Daphne, that's really not necessary..."

"But I think it is. As ashamed as this makes me, I'm afraid I was the one responsible for his actions."

"What do you mean?"

"I couldn't help but notice the way you two look at each other, or the way you smile when you're together. Believe me, I've never seen my dear brother so infatuated with anyone else before. To see you slip away from him and him doing nothing about it was not only painful, but it angered me enough to intervene," she explains. "After much convincing to do, I finally made him realize he needed to do something about his feelings. Evidently, I stood out of line and got myself involved in something I never should have, and for that I'm terribly sorry."

"You didn't do anything wrong. I know you had good intentions. There's absolutely nothing to forgive."

Daphne reaches out for your hands, relief evident in her features. "I was afraid you wouldn't want to talk to me again. You had all the right to do so, but I'm happy to see I was mistaken."

"I would never do such a thing."

She nodded, glad to know you two are still friends. "Well, with that situation out of the way, allow me to say I'm still very happy about you and Mr. Demrick. My love for my brother won't change the fact that I support your decision entirely."

You debated whether or not to say something, but the hesitation quickly slipped your mind when you looked at Daphne. She's been a great friend, you know there's nothing wrong with confessing this news to her.

She looks a bit confused when you grab her arm to guide her to a corner of the room, as far away from other people as possible. "I appreciate your words, but I'm afraid Mr. Demrick and I are no longer courting."

"Really? Did my imprudence make him change his mind?" she asks, worried she was to blame for this.

"Not at all. He actually proposed to me that very same evening."

"And...you said no?"

"I couldn't marry him, Daphne," you sighed. You'll never forgive yourself from breaking a good man's heart in the way you did with him, but deep down you knew it was the right thing to do. "I couldn't doom him to spend the rest of his life with a woman that doesn't love him the way he deserves."

"I don't judge you for it. My Mama has always taught us that marriage should be formed out of love. It's the only way a union like this can work," you friend offers, immediately wanting to show her support.

"If anything, my dear friend, I should be thanking you for your intervention," you quickly add. "If you never had that chat with your brother, I would've been engaged to a different man by now."

"I...Oh my, are you–?"

"I was as much of a fool as him. I could've said something a long time ago and yet I remained silent. And when he went to my house to give us a chance, I was once again deciding not to do a thing about my feelings. It was only when he left that I realized I made a terrible mistake."

Daphne is once again reaching for your hands, looking more excited than ever after your words. "You have no idea how pleased I am to hear you say all of this."

"You don't think it's too late, do you? I came here to talk to him, after all."

"No, no, not at all! He was devastated when he came back, I've never seen him like that in my life. We got to talk a little– and it's probably best if he's the one who confesses his true feelings in detail to you personally, but there's no doubt in my mind that from everything he said to me, he's deeply, madly and truly in love with you."

"I assure you I love him just as much."

"I don't doubt it either. And I think I speak for all my family when I say there's no one else we would like to be Anthony's wife but you."

"That makes me so happy to hear," you say with obvious excitement. Even Daphne looked like she could start crying any second. "Should I go talk to him now?"

"Please, I'm sure you can't wait any longer! He's over there, with Benedict and Colin."

"I shall tell you how it goes then."

"It'll go wonderful," she assures you, giving you one last smile before she allows you to leave.

Every second of that walk towards Anthony felt like centuries. Your mind spins with all the possible scenarios and everything you're going to say to him, but by the time you're in front of the three siblings your mind is completely blank.

"Gentlemen," was all you could say. The three of them immediately greet you with a quick bow. You notice Benedict and Colin exchanging looks, while Anthony's eyes are fixated on you. "I'd like to have a word with you– alone, if that's okay."

"Of course, my lady," was all he said.

"Oh my, you could cut the tension with a knife," Colin says suddenly. Anthony is so focused on you he barely acknowledges his comment.

"Shush, brother!" Benedict quickly warns, lightly pushing his little brother so he would start walking. "Excuse us," he smiled your way, starting to follow Colin.

You and Anthony are finally alone, but the people around you are still bothering you. "Is it okay if we go outside for a walk?"

"If it's okay with you," he says, a bit confused at first since you two had apparently agreed that you must keep your distance.

Anthony follows you to the gardens in complete silence. The music and chatter could still be heard. You were glad to realize it was only the two of you outside.

"What is it that you wanted to say to me?" he immediately asks, starting to walk next to you.

"I wanted to apologize for everything that happened."

"No need. Like you said, you made your choice and I'll have to respect it."

"It was the wrong choice. I see that now."

He was a bit surprised to hear that, but agreed with you nonetheless. "I'm afraid I can't say otherwise. At least I hope you find comfort in the fact that Mr. Demrick will be a fine husband, as you so fervently claim."

The two of you have reached a part of the garden that surrounds the two of you with large hedges decorated with beautiful flowers. It was then that you stopped walking and turned to look at him, knowing no one would be able to see or interrupt you here.

"I wanted to let you know that Mr. Demrick proposed and I said no," you blurted out simply, not wanting to keep it from him any longer.

"Why?" was all he could say.

"Because," you say, and this time it was painfully obvious.

Anthony couldn't believe your revelation at first, which would explain why he didn't move from his spot at first. As the realization of it all starts to sink in, he immediately walks closer to you and grabs your face with his hands. This time, you let him touch you as your hands move up to place them above his own.

"You're not marrying him?" he asks, barely above a whisper, still not entirely believing it. He really thought he had lost you forever.

You shake your head, unable to hold back your smile any longer. "There's only one man I'd like to marry."

Anthony smiles wider than ever after your comment and he's not able to control himself any longer, immediately closing the space between the two of you as he kisses you.

His kiss is everything you expected and more. So gentle, yet so passionate. It makes you feel like you're the most delicate thing in the entire world, but he must take a taste, so he does eagerly, yet carefully.

The moment doesn't last as much as you expected as he's abruptly pulling away. "Forgive me, I shouldn't have done that."

He takes a step back but he's gladly surprised when you wrap your arms around his neck to stop him. "Don't," you immediately say, "I want you close."

"I really shouldn't, my dear," he insisted, but you can tell it takes everything in him not to kiss you again at that very same moment.

"Is that so?" you tease him, inching just enough. "So you won't continue to kiss me? Not even if I'm so clearly desperate for you to do so?"

He's really trying to remind himself to be a gentleman. "I don't...it's not appropriate."

"Alright, them. It's perfectly fine, Mr. Bridgerton," you promptly agree, moving back from him entirely as you start walking away from him. "Perhaps we should go back then, before anyone notices our absence."

You're barely able to turn around to face him before he's one again in front of you, grabbing the back of your neck to pull you in for another kiss.

This time, the kiss is anything but gentle. His tongue explores your mouth with a hunger completely unknown to you as his hands explore your body. The hand previously holding the back of your neck trails your collarbone before it explores further down, cupping one of your breasts while the other holds you close to his body, resting dangerously close to your ass.

His lips move down to your jaw until they settle on the skin of your neck. You close your eyes as you enjoy the way he explores you, a few moans escaping past your lips that only seem to encourage him further.

"Anthony," you whisper into the darkness of the night, holding onto his shoulders for dear life while he kisses all over your neck.

"You're such a delight, my love," he mutters against your skin. "You drive me absolutely mad."

He moves back to your lips now, your mind clouded with desire for him and making it impossible for you to think of anything else other than how badly you need him to continue to touch you and kiss you. You could never get tired of this.

But much to your disappointment, he's pulling away from you again shortly after. His forehead rests against yours as both of you are gasping for air. You open your eyes when he's no longer leaning against you, just to catch him looking down at you with a smile.

"You're so beautiful," he comments, one of his fingers tracing your lower lip. "I could kiss these lips all day if I could."

"And I'd have no complaints about that."

He chuckles after your comment before taking a second to contemplate your beauty under the moonlight. "I deeply regret wasting so much time we could've spent as husband and wife."

"We have many years to make amends for that."

"Is that so?" he asks with a smile, his arms wrapped around your waist to keep you close.

"Well, that is if you ask for my hand."

"We'll go back to the ball and I'll talk to your father right away."

You fake to be offended by his comment. "Without asking for my opinion on the matter, Lord Bridgerton?"

"Forgive me, how rude of me," he follows along with your theatrics, but you immediately notice the shift in his eyes before he continues. They look softer than ever and shine as bright as all the stars in the sky combined. And you feel warm, at peace, so loved by the man standing before you. "My dearest, from the moment I met you, I knew we were destined to be together. You not only captivated me with your beauty, but with everything that you are. And as I started to know you, you kept proving me right. I saw it in the way you'd stay practicing your music for hours with such intent and passion. I saw it in the way you care so deeply about the ones fortunate enough to have you in their lives. I saw it in the way my mother instantly adored you, and how Hyacinth wouldn't stop asking me to invite you over so she could play with you. There's no doubt in my mind that you are the one for me."

You were completely speechless, absolutely mesmerized by his words. He takes a moment to gently wipe a few tears falling down your cheeks. He has always said to you how he's terrible at things like this, yet here he is proving himself wrong.

"If all previous words hold any room for confusion, allow me to clear it all right away. I've been yours from the moment we met and I couldn't possibly be more in love with you. And there's nothing that would make me happier than spending the rest of my life with you," he continues, finally taking a step back to grab both of your hands as he kneels in front of you. "Would you make me the honor of accepting me as your husband?"

You couldn't stop smiling at that point, immediately nodding after his question. "Yes. Now and forever, it'll always be yes."

Anthony kisses both of your hands before standing up to pull you in for a hug. "It pleases me to hear you accept. For a moment, I feared the tears were a bad sign."

You laugh at his little joke before breaking the hug. "Perhaps we should get back. I'm afraid we've been gone for quite a while now."

"That shouldn't be much of a problem now that we're engaged. I shall ask to have a word with your father as soon as we get back– and ask my mother for her ring."

"Is it okay if I inform Daphne?"

"I have absolutely no objections if you decide to announce the news to every person inside that ballroom, my love. Let everyone know you'll be the next Viscountess. Nothing would make me happier."

He offers his arm and you immediately accept it, starting to walk back to the ball with him– your future husband. At that very moment, you've sworn you've never been happier.

[mirohlayo]

just a little blurb before writing my next lando fic

word count : 823

-

You are comfortably seated on Lando's soft sofa in his apartment. He invited you to spend the evening at his place, like almost every evening since it has become a habit for both of you. You've been friends since childhood, so obviously he took pleasure in inviting you to sleep at his place every night, and cook your dinner together at the same time. And then watch a few films and series on your big TV.

Like now. Titanic plays before your eyes, while you devour the film as if it were the first time you watched it. Even if in reality you have already discovered this film hundreds of times. However, you have always liked this love story and you have always wanted to experience these same feelings in real life.

Love. You loved love. You know that love is found everywhere, in moments of success or when you are in the presence of your family and friends. You were aware of that. No, you were talking about love. Romance, soft touches filled with innocence, eager looks, passionate kisses, tenderness in every action.

This is the love you dream of so much. Being able to confide in yourself without being judged, finding comfort in this person, maybe even feeling at home in their arms. Love is like a waking dream for you, and you wanted to feel all of that from a young age. After all, you were lulled by the love stories of young princesses and their prince charming.

You were so lost daydreaming about these ideas about love that you didn't notice Lando approaching you. “What’s got you thinking like that?” He smirks as he places a tray filled with sweets and fruit on the small table in front of you, accompanied by two glasses of water. “Nothing, I’m just thinking about how I still haven’t experienced perfect love.” You focus on the movie again while Lando comes to sit next to you.

“The one you’ve dreamed of since you were little?” A hint of obviousness lurks in his voice as he taps his laps to invite you to lay your head on them. "Precisely. I don't even remember when was the last time I went on a date" Lando sighs softly, running one of his hands through your hair. You make yourself comfortable in his embrace. “Oh, seeing how those guys were I understand why you stopped.”

He was right. All the men you met on your dates were beyond terrible. Not one to catch up with the other. Between the one who only alluded to sex, the one who only spoke about himself, or even the one who made the most sexist and problematic comments in the world. No doubt about it, all your dates have been failures.

And when you came home completely tired from these dates, Lando was always there to comfort you and keep you company. Deep down, he was happy. He was relieved that those men hadn't stolen your heart, because he hoped he was the only one who did. But he will never admit it to you. Well, unless he has the courage to do it.

As you actively watch the film, you can't help but admire the romance between the two characters. It's so... beautiful. "You know Lan, I'm a lover of love". Your sentence had come out softly from your mouth, and your eyes were still scanning the screen intensively. It's like you're whispering to yourself.

He lowers his head to look at you. Maybe it was at that moment that he realized that this would probably be his last chance. "Good. Because I'm filled with so much love". A silence settled. You didn't really understand the meaning of his sentence, so you just didn't react at first. But when the click came, you slowly got up to face him.

“What?” You don't really know what to say, if those words he said are what you think. If he really insinuated it in that sense, the meaning you would so much like it to be. "I'm filled with so, so much love sweetheart. Just for you". A soft smile appears on his face, while his gaze is simply tender when he sets his eyes on you. You can even swear you can see hearts forming there.

You stifle a small laugh, your heart beating at the speed of light. “So you mean I can be in love with you?” He ended up laughing stupidly, almost kissing you right then and there. “Of course, baby. That’s all I ask for.” And finally, it's you who ends up placing your lips on his, in one of those passionate kisses that you dreamed of so much.

And with Lando by your side, it seems right. Finally, you will be able to experience this romantic love story that you wanted so much, because you have the most perfect prince to offer you everything you dream of.

[thefallennightmare]

Unveiled Hearts-Matt Dierkes One Shot

*all pictures for cover found on pinterest. gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Pairings: Matt Dierkes x OFC

Warnings: swearing, fluff, angst, smut

Summary: Matt and Faye still can’t confess their feelings for each other. Crossing the line from friends to lovers could change the dynamics of the tour of the Concrete Jungle. An accidental kiss reveals the truth hidden behind small smiles and laughter. They both know that the smart thing would be to forget it ever happened. But some kisses are so spectacular that they change everything.

Authors Notes: When I tell you guys, this has been MONTHS in the making. I'm so glad I can finally say it's finished! Buckle up, it's a long one! Hopefully, all of your questions will be answered.

Tags: @loeytuan98 @thatchickwiththecamera @dsireland86 @iknownothingpeople @bngurngheart @malice-ov-mercy @concreteemo @cookiesupplier @heyyoplayer @myownthoughts12 @vinyardmaurao @missduffsblog @hayleylatour @sleepyomens @artificialbreezy @marvelousmal @lma1986 @wild-child-7747 @calleyx13 @illmakeyousaywow @jaded-and-hollow-souls @itsafullmoon @shilohrosechicken @klutzy-kay24 @shadowseve @blueskylinesx @exitwoundsx @thisbicc @pathion @cookiesupplier @sammyjoeee @whenthesummerdies @flowery-mess @xxkittenkissesxx @its-inourblood @madomens @collidewiththesavannah @xserena-13 @cncohshit

If I missed anyone on the tag list, I apologize!

FAYE

I sat in my car, drumming my fingers against my steering wheel and trying to keep my breathing even. Every few seconds, my eyes would dart to the clock on the dashboard, painley waiting for it to read 6:00 so I could get this meeting over with. 

“Five minutes,” I muttered to myself followed by a pep talk. 

This is a job interview, one I’ve been to countless times before. I knew what I was doing and also was confident enough in my abilities that they’d love my work. Lana even reassured me. 

“They’re a great batch of guys to work with, Faye! It’s like we’re a big family, we take care of each other,” her words echoed in my mind. 

I watched as these guys worked in a frenzied state packing the two vans with various equipment but somehow made it seem like they flowed together naturally. The effort conversations and laughter that carried between them showed how tight knit they were so I couldn’t help but feel like I was a stranger that was about to disrupt their lives. 

You are. They don’t know you. 

Grumbling at the voice in my mind, I reached for my portfolio and camera, slinging it over my neck; I never went anywhere without it. 

The laughter from the large group carried over to the other end of the parking lot where I was slowly walking up. I had to meet two of these guys at this large warehouse while they spent the afternoon packing up their things. My hands shook as I clutched my photo portfolio to my chest and as I approached them, unable to hide behind the invisible vortex I hope shielded me, I came to a stop a few feet away. 

My hazel eyes tracked each person's movement as they went from the large garage opening of the warehouse over to the two trucks and large tour bus parked on the opposite side of the lot. My mouth ran dry as I tried to find my voice to call over to them, announce my arrival, but it was difficult due to the racing of my heart. 

Suddenly a soft buzz in my back pocket was my saving grace and I pulled it out, smiling at the name on the screen. 

Tay: Okay, we need a girls night out tonight. I broke up with loser face so I need to forget about it. Find someone new. Preferably one that has a head full of curls. You know those are my weaknesses.

I giggled while quickly typing out my response. 

Me: Well, you know what they say. The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. 

Tay: Fuck yes. I’ll pick you up at eight!

“Are you Faye?” 

My eyes snapped up from my phone to the tall figure in front of me, the sunlight catching the intricate and somewhat colorful tattoos on both of his arms. A lone finger scratched at his cheek, showcasing a small heart tattoo. I knew who he was, Lana already giving me the full run down on everyone in the band. 

While he was gorgeous, I also knew he wasn’t available. But not like it mattered, I wasn’t here for a relationship. I was here to work. 

“Uh,” my hands shook again as I pocketed my phone, clutching the portfolio to my chest. “Yeah. Sorry.” 

The man raised a brow with a soft smile. “There’s no need to apologize. Were you standing there long?” 

I shook my head. “No, no. I just walked up a minute ago but didn’t want to bother you guys. You seem a little busy.”

“You’re fine,” he stuck out his hand. “I’m Noah.” 

I desperately wished I could have wiped the sweat off of my palm as I grasped his; it engulfing mine. 

“Faye. But I guess you already know that,” I chuckled lightly. 

“Yeah, Lana mentioned you’d be stopping by to talk with us,” Noah turned to look over his shoulder, running a hand through his dark waves. “Uh, Matt!” 

I watched silently as another man stepped down the ramp of one of the trucks, head snapped over towards Noah and I. He removed the hat from his head to shake out the long strands of his hair and my breath caught in my throat. The tattoos that covered his left arm were hard to read from this distance but the bright color of the one on his leg immediately stood out. 

Dragon Ball Z. 

I’d never been a fan of it but my younger brother watched it all the time growing up. 

Suddenly realizing what Noah called him, I remembered Lana’s warning from earlier. 

“Everyone is chill. Well, except Matt. As long as you stay on his good side you should be fine.”

My palms began to sweat even more now and I rubbed one of them on the side of my thigh, hoping to dry it before needing to shake Matt’s hand. As he walked closer to where Noah and I were standing, a soft breeze blew through the strands of his golden hair and I marveled at the confidence that radiated off of him. Those dark eyes tracked over me; from my scuffed converse up over my long legs and I knew he was assessing my tattoos like I did his. When his lips twitched with a sly smile, I knew Matt had taken in the sight of my teal hair. 

“Hi,” I said once he came to a stop next to Noah. 

The height difference between them was immediately recognizable. 

“This is Faye; Lana’s cousin,” Noah said towards Matt. 

He nodded. “The fill in.” 

The way Matt said those words didn’t quite sit well with me but not wanting to ruin this potential job, I gave a forced smile instead. 

“She mentioned you guys wanted to see my portfolio,” I said while handing it over to Noah, who took it with a smile.

“How long have you been in this business?” Noah asked, slowly flipping through my portfolio. 

I adjusted the strap of my camera on my shoulder. “I started taking pictures when I was ten. It wasn’t until a few years ago that I made it my profession. I’ve photographed a handful of local bands.” 

Matt raised a brow. “So Bad Omens would be the first big name band you’ve photographed?” 

There was still that underlying tone in his voice, one I couldn’t quite decipher. 

“As a job, yes. I’ve taken a few pictures when I went to shows. But I can assure you, I know what I’m doing,” I said with slightly narrowed eyes. 

Noah froze on one photograph, a loving smile pulling at his lips. His eyes lingered on it for a long moment before showing it to Matt, who let out a small chuckle. 

“What are the odds,” he muttered under his breath. 

“So you’re used to working in fast paced environments?” Noah asked while handing back my portfolio.

I nodded, clutching it to my chest yet again. “Yeah. It’s nothing new for me.”

“This will be your first time touring though, right?” 

“Yeah,” I nodded again at Noah. “Might take some getting used to but I can assure you, I’ll be fine.” 

“Cool,” he smiled. “I know it’s kind of last minute but we leave tomorrow.” 

“I’ll be ready,” I gave a curt nod.

Underneath the rim of his hat, Matt’s eyes narrowed but he remained silent. Assessing me with the darkness of them but never once parting his lips to say what was on his mind. Which irritated me, the feeling burning low in my gut because I absolutely hated when people didn’t say what was on their mind. If they couldn’t tell me how they truly felt about a situation, how could I trust them later on? 

“Is that fine with you, Matthew?” I asked with a raised brow. 

His jaw ticked when I uttered his full name and briefly, I saw a tiny smile play at his lips. 

“Be here at six a.m,” was all he said before turning on his heels and walking back towards the large trucks. 

I pursed my lips, doing my best to keep my comment to myself; something Noah noticed. 

“Don’t let Matt get under your skin. He’s not too fond of change. But he’ll get over it. Lana couldn’t stop raving about you. Bryan is actually excited to work with you,” Noah said. 

Their other photographer. 

“I’m actually a huge fan of Bryan. I have a few of his prints hung up in my apartment,” I said while looking up at Noah. 

He chuckled while running a hand through his hair. “Did you want to stay? We’re almost done packing up the trucks and have plans for a little BBQ at my girlfriend's place. She’d love it if you joined.”

I thought about it for a long moment. It would probably be a good thing to do in a way to get to know everyone before being stuck on the road with them for the next few weeks. But then I remembered my plans with Tay and knew if I backed out on her much needed girls night, she’d be upset. 

“Thank you for the invite but I already have plans with my friend tonight. I’m sorry,” I said. 

Noah waved me off. “No need to apologize, Faye. We’re about to be stuck together for the next couple of weeks so take all the alone time you need.”

Just then, someone ran up to Noah with a breathless smile and I couldn’t stop staring at the mounds of curls on top of his head. 

“Hey, man. Sorry I’m late.” 

Noah gave the man a somber smile. “How’d it go?” 

“She stood me up.”

My eyes darted between the two and when Noah took in my confused state, he motioned to the man with curls. 

“Faye, meet Jesse. Jesse, meet the new photographer, Faye.” 

Jesse gave me a bright smile, the one that eased away all of your worries, and he adjusted the round glasses perched on his nose before extending a hand to me. 

“Oh, Lana’s cousin! She mentioned you’d be filling in for her while she was gone,” Jesse said. 

“Yep,” I shook his hand. “Seems like she talked about me to everyone.” 

Suddenly another man came up on the side of Jesse, slapping his back. “How’d the date go?” 

This man I instantly recognized. 

Bryan Kirks. 

Jesse snorted. “She stood me up. I waited at the restaurant for thirty minutes. Tried calling and texting her; got left on read.” 

“No fucking way,” Bryan shook his head. “I never had a good feeling about her. Who spells their name with two X’s like that?”

“That’s bullshit,” Noah grumbled under his breath. 

Although I wasn’t sure what happened, it was clear this relationship that Jesse was talking about ended in a way that made Bryan and Noah upset for their friend. Seeing the slight confusion on my face, Jesse gave me a weak smile. 

“My girlfriend stood me up tonight.” 

“Shit, I’m sorry,” I frowned while shifting on my feet. 

He shrugged while stuffing his hands into his pockets. “It’s alright. I’ll get over it.” 

“Well you know what they say. The best way to get over someone is to get under someone else,” Bryan smirked. 

“I just told my best friend the same thing,” I laughed while tucking a piece of teal hair behind my ears. 

The ease that fell over me as I stood with the three men, talking as if I’d known them for years, made the fear of what the next few weeks held almost non-existent. 

“Is that the D5000?” Bryan asked while pointing to the Nikon hanging off my shoulder. 

I beamed while holding it up. “Yeah. My dad gifted it to me when I decided to make this a career. I have a few other models but I take this one everywhere with me for work.”

Bryan motioned towards Noah and Jesse, who all stood together, which prompted me to snap a few pictures of them; all three of them having goofy smiles then a few serious ones. 

I clicked through the pictures while all three of them glanced over my shoulder and felt Jesse snicker towards Noah. 

“Your girl is going to love that pouty look.”

“Shut up,” Noah grumbled but you could hear the smile in his voice. 

“HEY! Assholes! Are we still taking a break or actually here to work?!” 

All of our eyes snapped up to Matt, who was pushing a large crate towards one of the trucks. Even from this distance, I could see the slits of his eyes staring directly at me. Something about him irritated me all while causing my stomach to flip as those narrowed eyes grazed up my long legs. 

“This will be a fun few weeks,” Bryan said. 

Jesse bid us all a goodbye with a nod. “Have fun with that. I’ve got plans at a certain cafe.”

As he rambled off which cafe he was going to visit tonight, I couldn’t help but smile. 

“The one downtown? Next to the therapist's office?” 

Jesse smiled. “Yeah. It’s Jolly’s favorite, for obvious reasons. We all go there at least once a week. We should all go once you guys get back.” 

“Sure,” I smiled. 

Noah gave me one final smile. “Believe it or not, we’re all stoked you’re joining us.” 

“Lana has said all good things about you guys. I’m excited. And thank you for giving me this opportunity, given my lack of experience.” 

Something twinkled in his almond eyes as he took a few steps towards the rest of the group of people. 

“It was one of the pictures I saw in your portfolio that sold me.” 

With a small wave, I turned and was ready to head back to my car when a loud voice halted me momentarily. 

“6 A.M! DON’T BE LATE!” 

Matt. 

Throwing a hand over my shoulder, I made my way over towards my car and quickly typed up a message to Tay.

Me: How does coffee and a nice book in a cafe sound?

She replied while I was buckling my seat belt. 

Tay: You know I’m always down for that. 

MATT

Carefully, I watched as Faye smiled at Noah before she retreated back to her car. My eyes never left her form even when Noah stepped in front of me, blocking my view. It wasn’t until he cleared his throat that I looked over to him.

“What?” 

He shook his head with a playful smile. “I’ve seen that look before. I’ve actually had that look in my own eyes a few times. It’s a familiar feeling.” 

Rolling my eyes, I went back to loading up the trucks. It was already well past six and with plans for the BBQ in less than an hour, we needed to haul ass to finish packing everything. Something I made known to Noah, who continued watching me with a smile. 

“Keep staring, lover boy,” I joked while pushing the crate up the ramp into one of the trucks. 

Noah stood at the bottom of his, hands buried deep in the pockets of his Bad Omens joggers. 

“I invited her tonight.” 

My head snapped over at him. “Why did you do that?” 

“Because we’re going to be with each other for the next three weeks. I thought it would be a good ice breaker before having her jump right into everything tomorrow morning.” 

There was no reason for me to have a guard up when it came to Faye but we’d been burned so many times before with new people joining the Bad Omens crew. Anytime we thought about having someone join our team, I was always the one that voiced my concerns. 

Since Faye was cousins with Lana, I couldn’t do that. Lana gave us her word that we could trust Faye. Although, I knew deep down that wasn’t the sole reason why I’d been closed off. 

I couldn’t allow myself to get close to anyone else, afraid of getting hurt again. I’d seen all of my friends around me find love while I stood on the outside, wondering if I’d ever find that. I told myself that work was the only thing I needed right now. But the moment I took in the sight of Faye and felt my heart stutter in my chest, I knew that it would be hard for me to abide by my own rules. 

I’d become transfixed the moment my eyes landed on her, standing in the middle of the parking lot looking almost like a little sheep that found their way into the den of wolves. How bright her eyes were as they locked with mine. The way her lips moved as she talked to Noah. How they twitched when she spoke my name. 

Matthew. 

My body shivered when I remembered how sweet it sounded falling from her pink lips. 

“Is she coming?” I asked while loading up the last of the crates. 

Noah still wore that annoying smirk and crossed his arms over his chest. “No, she already had plans with a friend.” 

All I did was hum as I shut the door of the truck, doing my best to ignore the way my heart sunk in my stomach. 

“Well, let’s hope she’ll be here on time tomorrow because I’m not waiting for her even if she’s two minutes late,” I adjusted my hat. 

Noah squeezed my shoulder. “Have some faith, Matthew.” 

He quickly scurried away before I could do anything in retaliation for using my full name. A familiar car pulled up which made Noah sprint towards it and wrap his arms around the figure that stepped out from behind the steering wheel. My heart ached while watching the love they shared, like it always did. I wasn’t jealous of either of them. I was jealous of what they had. 

“Matt!” Her voice called over from where Noah had her in his arms. “Are you riding with us?” 

Putting on my best fake smile, I gave her a thumbs up. “Just promise no dessert nicknames the entire drive, please?”

FAYE

Stifling a yawn behind my hand, I let my shoes scuff along the pavement as I walked up the familiar drive, the rising sun casting me in an everglow of orange and golden hues. The birds sang their morning songs and the grass was still wet with the morning dew as I came to a stop in the somewhat empty parking lot. I’d expected everyone to be here, ready to load up, but then again I was ten minutes early. Not wanting to leave my car here for three weeks, I had Tay drop me off. My plan for running into a certain someone failed when we got too caught up watching a crime documentary on her television. 

“You’re early.” 

Whirling around at the voice, I saw Matt leaning against the door of the tour bus drowning in a hoodie and joggers. He gave off a comfortable vibe that nearly matched my own. Knowing we had a long drive to the first city, I opted to wear biker shorts and an oversized shirt; one that caught Matt’s eyes immediately but never saying anything about it.

Adjusting my backpack, I gripped the handle of my suitcase a little tighter. 

“I’m an early bird,” I shrugged. “Figured it was better to be early rather than late.”

Matt hummed, the noise vibrating in his chest, and I felt his burning gaze all over me. We were standing close to each other and I could feel his body heat radiate off of him, encasing me. The sunrise caught the darkness of his eyes causing them to sparkle and I drank in the sight of the faint stubble that peppered his chin. The sharpness of his cheekbones and the way they could cut my finger if I dragged it across it had me halting doing so. The way my skin ignited as his gaze lingered on my face made my heart skip a beat. It was as if he was taking his own mental pictures but never once making a sound or moving. Simply leaning against the bus while I squirmed on my feet. Teal strands of hair fell into my eyes and I gently brushed them away. I could have sworn I had the softest intake of breath from Matt but it was so quiet, I wasn’t sure. 

He nodded towards my suitcase. “Can I?” 

With a nod, I let him take it to put it in the undercarriage part of the bus, the calloused skin of his fingers brushing along my knuckles and instantaneously, I felt something spark inside of me. If Matt felt it, he made no indication and set my suitcase alongside all of the others.  Then with a swift nod towards the door, he motioned for me to follow him up the stairs. 

“Everyone is awake so no need to be quiet,” Matt said. 

When we stepped into the main area of the bus, I felt myself freeze when a few different sets of eyes landed on me. Bryan gave me a wave and a smile while I looked at the four other men that were scattered throughout. I recognized them from not only knowing who Bad Omens were but also Lana’s rundown texts. 

“You must be Faye,” Jolly wiped a hand on a towel as he was stocking the fridge. 

“Nice to meet you,” I shook his hand.

Then after meeting Nicholas, I noticed Nick sitting in the far corner booth of the small kitchen area, a somber smile on his face. 

“You’ll have to excuse him,” Nicholas sighed. “Relationship trouble.”

“Fuck,” I muttered under my breath. “What’s in the California water? That’s the third relationship trouble I’ve heard of in the last twenty four hours.” 

When Nicholas raised a brow, I explained not only were Nick and Jesse going through something but so was my friend, Tay. 

“Jolly, you better watch out. You could be next,” Steven teased after we exchanged greetings. 

Jolly was silent, muttering something to himself in Sweden before retreating to the back of the bus. From what Lana told me, Jolly was in a relationship but it had been hard for him and his girlfriend. Almost everyone in this friend group had a significant other. Besides Matt and Bryan. 

At the thought of Matt, I quickly peeked through the strands of hair that fell into my face yet again to see that he had sat on one of the couches and kept his attention on his phone. 

“Or Noah’s relationship could be next,” Bryan chuckled. “Him and-.”

“We are perfectly fine, thank you. No need to worry,” Noah’s voice echoed throughout the bus as he stepped into the main area. 

They all gave him a quick wave in greeting and when he saw me standing there, clutching my things, he raised a brow. 

“Did anyone show you to your bunk?” 

I shook my head. “No. I mean, I could find it myself but I didn’t want to make it seem like I’m imposing where I shouldn’t be.” 

My hands shook with nerves and I could practically feel my heart pounding in my throat and ears. It felt like everyone was staring at me, even though I knew it wasn't the case. Noah glanced over to Matt, who still couldn’t be bothered to look away from his phone, and then let out a long sigh. 

“Come on. If my girlfriend found out that I didn’t give you the proper welcoming tour, she’d kick my ass,” Noah smiled before leading me towards the back area of the bus that housed the bunks. 

“Not that you would complain,” Bryan chuckled from behind us. 

“Some of us snore; me included. So I hope you brought some headphones,” Noah joked. 

All I could do was give a small smile and set my backpack down on the empty bunk he pointed too. It was the last one available on the top left, closer to the back lounge. 

It was still early morning and the lack of sleep from last night was beginning to creep deep in my bones. Noah let out a small laugh when he saw me try to hide a yawn behind my hand. 

“You should get some sleep. We’ve got a long drive to the next city,” he suggested.

I waved him off. “I’ll be alright. I feel like maybe I should sit and chat with you guys. Get to know you.” 

“After you,” Noah extended a tattooed arm back to the front of the bus. 

There was only one spot left to sit; right next to Matt. Noah opted to help Jolly set up a little breakfast while I slowly sat down on the couch, purposely leaving a few feet between Matt and I. 

“So, Faye. Lana is your cousin?” Nicholas wondered while sitting across from me. 

I pulled my knees up to my chest, trying to find a comfortable position that would help ease my nerves. “Yeah. Our mom’s are sisters.” 

“Photography runs in the family, huh?” Bryan now asked as he was messing around with his camera. 

“Yeah,” I smiled. “My dad did it as a hobby while I was growing up but I was always interested. When I was old enough and wanted to start myself, he gave me one of his older ones. I don’t use that one as much, only for really special occasions.”

“Lana said you two are pretty close,” Jolly said. 

I nodded before tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. “I grew up with four brothers; three older and one younger. So I spent as much time as I could at Lana’s house.”

We all continued to chat for a while, long after the bus finally began moving and the sun rose to its full heightened glory. It surprised me how easy it was to talk to all of them. Well, almost all of them. 

Matt didn’t say one word the entire time, simply kept to himself while typing away on his phone. Never once did I bother to glance over at him with the looming curiosity as to what he was doing on his phone for the last two hours. While everyone made me feel welcome and comfortable, I couldn’t ignore the weird vibe I was getting from Matt. It was as if I was a pest infiltrating a home that was designed to keep me away. But I somehow managed to sneak in through the smallest of cracks. 

Yet I also couldn't ignore the way my heart raced as I sat next to him. Or the way my blood pulsated inside of my veins when he shifted in his spot and our knees bumped against each other. I definitely couldn’t ignore the way Matt’s fingers twitched when I rested my hand between us on the couch. Ever so softly, I felt the calloused pad of this thumb brush along my wrist; so quick I nearly missed it. 

Bryan and I were having a deep conversation on different ways we could work together on this tour that I didn’t realize Matt had retreated to the back of the bus. It wasn’t until I dismissed myself from the group with the muttering of wanting to take a nap that I found Matt standing in the narrow hallway between the bunks. 

I knew I would need to squeeze past him to reach my bunk but it was then I realized he was also climbing down from his bunk; across from mine. 

“Scuse me,” I mumbled while brushing past him, his chest nearly touching mine. 

Silence must have been Matt’s strong suit because yet again, he said nothing. Standing toe to toe with him, I saw those dark eyes stare down at me underneath his hat. His pupils dilated causing his eyes to darken even more when his gaze rested on my lips as I spoke. 

“I need to get up in my bunk,” I breathed, afraid to raise my voice above a whisper. 

Agitation began to weigh heavy within me when Matt still said nothing, simply continued to stare at me. I knew I should keep it in check, not snap at him since he was technically my boss, but if this is how he was going to act the entire three weeks, there would be no possible way I’d be able to keep myself calm. 

“Do you have a problem, Matthew?” I asked while crossing my arms over my chest. 

His lips twitched. “It’s Matt.” 

“That seems like something I’d call you if we were friends. You’ve been giving me the silent treatment since I met you yesterday. So it’s Matthew,” I shrugged. 

Due to the tight space between us, I could feel his warm breath as it brushed over my lips when he cocked his head to the side. Every single fiber of my being felt like it had been set ablaze with that look alone and even though my hands were tucked away, I could still feel them shaking. My heart was beating hard against the cage in my chest and I knew Matt was able to hear it.

His tongue darted out to wet his lips and I smelled the briefest scent of mint. The feeling of skin on skin had my eyes casting down to my leg where Matt’s fingers gently grazed over exposed skin of my thigh. I shivered underneath the touch, letting him know how much of an effect he had on me. It shouldn’t be like this, I didn’t know more than a few things Lana told me about him. But somehow he managed to sink his way inside of my mind. 

Last night while I was trying to sleep, I’d been plagued with images of Matt. It didn’t help that our meeting earlier in the evening was short so once I was home and settled, I looked him up on social media. Not much gave him away on Twitter besides the occasional snarky remark that had me shaking my head and videos of racoons that had me smiling. On Instagram, I spent a few minutes scrolling through and mentally liking his pictures. 

Until I actually liked one of his pictures. 

From six months ago. 

It was of him holding a kiwi guava flavored Celisus while standing in front of a cardboard cut out of one. I hadn’t noticed I accidentally liked it until I was scrolling back up a few minutes later and nearly fell out of my bed when I saw the red heart underneath the picture. I knew un liking the picture would do no good. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind Matt had seen the notification. 

Maybe he didn’t since he made no mention of it. Or maybe he had seen it. It would explain the sly smirk playing on his lips at the moment. 

“Consider yourself lucky. I don’t let anyone call me Matthew,” he hummed before slipping past me, back to the front of the bus. 

I stood there for a moment, eyes unblinking, as the scent of him lingered in the air. It filled my senses and brought an oddly calm feeling over me. But that’s not what gave me pause. It was his words.

With a groan, I ran a hand down my face and climbed up into my bunk with the hope that a nap would cool down my heated skin. It wasn’t until I was comfortable in the bunk, wrapped underneath the blanket with my phone, I saw the notification from Instagram that came in over an hour ago; while I was sitting next to him and talking with Bryan. 

Mattxdierkes followed you. 

Mattxdierkes liked your photo. 

“Shit,” I muttered while clicking on the notification. 

It was a picture of me standing in front of the ocean during a gloomy morning, wearing a white cable knit sweater. You could barely see my face due to my teal hair covering it. The caption was a simple wave emoji. It was also posted last year meaning Matt had also done his own stalking. Although, a little voice in the back of my mind told me that this was not an accidental like. Matt meant it, which meant he knew about my own stalking.

Grumbling a slew of curses to myself, I buried my phone underneath the pillow and let the thought of sleep take me away. 

MATT

Running a hand through my long and unruly hair, I did my best to comb out the knots before sliding a hat over it. I twisted and turned my neck to each side, breathing out a soft groan when the necessary bones cracked and popped. Years of touring with my old band and Bad Omens did a number on my back and neck but I tried not to complain too much. I love what I do and the people I do it with. But that didn’t mean I had to love the bunks I slept in. 

The first three days of the tour flew by and with today’s off day, every single one of us was desperate for a relaxing day filled with brunch and touring the city. 

With a quick flick of my eyes over to the bunk across from mine, I noticed that Faye’s was empty with the blanket and pillow fixed neatly. My heart began to race at the thought of her teal hair spread out against the silk pillowcase while she slept. Unlike all of us, she kept the curtain of her bunk open because of this irrational fear that she would suffocate. 

“I hate feeling like I’m enclosed in a tight space,” she shrugged while Bryan jokingly teased her for it. 

Faye almost immediately fit in with all of us, like she’d been working on the crew for years. Night one, her and Bryan found the perfect rhythm together; never once stepping on each other's toes. She understood Bryan was the main photographer so she opted in getting pictures of things he didn’t. Some that involved the sound deck. 

More importantly, me. 

I had every intention of keeping my guard up around her but the more her bright eyes shined at me and the way her melodic laugh reached my ears, I felt those walls slowly starting to chip away. Faye was there from set up to tear down helping all of us, never once complaining. Even after some long days, she always went to bed with a smile on her face; one that I couldn’t stop thinking about. 

When Lana first told us that her cousin would be filling in for her, I immediately did my own research. I found her photography Instagram along with her personal one; it wasn’t until recently that I decided to follow both of them. But from the first moment I saw her most recent picture, Faye took my breath away. 

It wasn’t anything extravagant, a simple selfie in front of a large mirror. She was wearing a golden sundress, showcasing off her long legs and the tattoo on her left arm of six fairies, surrounded by different flowers. Her teal hair cascaded down her back in waves, giving her an even more ethereal aura and it made my heart stutter in my chest. 

I told myself not to get in over my head with these feelings. It was a simple crush that would lead to nothing. She was only joining us for a few weeks and once we returned back to Los Angeles, we would all part ways. No use in getting my heart broken; again. 

But when I received the notification from Instagram about her liking an older picture of mine, I couldn’t stop the smile that came to my face. It was evident I had been on her mind as well. Again, I told myself not to think too much of it because it could have been an honest mistake. 

Was it an honest mistake when she brushed her hand against yours? Or when she stood a little too close to you in the sound deck last night?

Groaning at the voice in my mind, I remembered the scent of Faye as she took a few minute breather during Miracle last night. She’d taken some videos from my spot in the sound deck and decided to hang back for a long moment, watching the set with a look of awe in those bright eyes. I did my best to focus on my work but the scent of her peach shampoo grazed my nose causing me to sigh in content. All of the blood rushed through my body with heat and I felt my cock twitch underneath my sweats when her shoulder brushed against my arm.

“Everything alright?” She asked. 

I nodded, hitting the necessary buttons to cue up the next song. “Yep. Totally fine.”

Everything was not fine. 

I couldn’t stop thinking about the small smile that played on her lips while she watched the guys perform their set. I couldn’t forget the way she smelled or the way my body ignited with just her simple touch. 

What started off as a closed off relationship slowly began to blossom into a growing friendship. I was no longer giving her the cold shoulder, actually conversing with her when we were in the same room. Faye began to warm up to me as well, learning quickly that this “hater mode” people thought I had was only ever directed to people outside of my family. 

She still called me Matthew though and I wasn’t about to admit to anyone how much I liked it when it fell from her pink lips; the ones that were always shiny from the gloss. 

With a groan, I dragged a hand over my face before pulling out my phone to send a text to Noah. 

Me: I’ll be there soon. Woke up late. 

Almost immediately he texted back. 

Noah Seb: Cool. We just got here. Faye should be waiting for you.

“What?” I muttered as I came into view of the front area of the bus, my eyes immediately connecting with those bright hazel ones that began plaguing my every thought. 

Fay was sitting crossed legged on one of the couches with a book in her lap, teal waves falling over her face. I noticed how content she was reading, her bottom lip caught between her teeth. There were a few flowers placed behind her head, intertwined within her hair, and when she finally glanced up from her book due to me walking into view, she gave me a small smile. 

“I was wondering when you were going to wake up,” she pulled out one of the flowers from her hair to use it as a bookmark and then she closed the book, setting it on the seat next to her. 

The Hobbit by J.R.R Tolkien. 

It felt as if my soul had been intertwined with hers, connecting on such a level that I could feel something inside of me pulsating; bringing me closer to Faye. 

This is that bullshit Noah was always jabbering about.

Shaking the thought from my mind, I rubbed a hand over the tattoo on my left arm; the one dedicated to The Lord of The Rings. Anytime I was around her, I always wore long sleeves so she never saw it but now that I wore shorter sleeves thanks to the warmer weather, Faye’s eyes quickly tracked my movement and I heard her suck in a breath. 

“Elvish?” She rose to her feet and motioned towards the script writing along my wrist. 

“Y-yeah. It’s one of my favorite movies,” I rubbed at the back of my neck, suddenly nervous under her gaze. 

Those hazel eyes sparkled as they tracked over every line of ink on my arm and eventually she sighed. “I never thought I’d be jealous of you, Matthew.”

I snorted. “I’ll take that as a win.”

We stood there for a long beat, both just staring at each other, and that magnetic pull I felt earlier was stronger now. It vibrated against my body, almost like it was forcing its way out so it could connect with Faye. 

“We should have a marathon one day. Watch all six movies; The Hobbit and The Lord of The Rings,” she spoke while still looking at the tattoo on my arm. 

My mouth ran dry, trying to figure out what the best way to respond without sounding desperate because that’s all I wanted to do. Maybe we could skip out on brunch and hang back on the bus, just the two of us, and watch them.

Instead, no words came out of my mouth. They were tangled on my tongue and I looked like an idiot standing in front of her with moving lips that said nothing. 

I could feel her starting to pull away from me and desperate to feel some kind of contact again, I let my fingers reach for her hand to link our fingers together until she cleared her throat and motioned towards the outside. 

“We should probably go. I don’t want to keep them waiting.” 

“Sure,” I nodded. 

The walk to the restaurant was quiet as she walked a few paces ahead of me, holding the camera close to her chest. She wore a flowy white sundress, highlighting her skin even more and the soles of her sandals smacked against the concrete making it look like she was floating in the air as she skipped. Taking my phone out of my pocket, I typed out a message to Noah. 

Me: Dude, she was reading The Hobbit. She’s a fan of LOTR.

Noah Seb: Have you guys left yet? I’m starving. 

Rolling my eyes, I replied. 

Me: Did you not see what I said? She was reading The Hobbit! What are the odds she’d be reading that book?

Me: Also, yes we're on our way. 

I glanced up from my phone in time to catch Faye taking a picture of me. 

“Whoever you were texting, must have been serious because of the look on your face,” she informed me in regards to my raised brow. 

“Yeah, you could say that,” I muttered under my breath before texting Noah again, who had yet to respond. 

Me: She saw my LOTR tattoo and made a comment of maybe watching the movies together. I was an idiot and didn’t know what to say so I said nothing. She probably thinks I don’t want to. But I do.

Me: She probably doesn't feel the same. There’s no use getting my hopes up for something that won’t happen. I need to focus on work. 

Noah Seb: Is this how I was? In the beginning?

I snorted. 

Me: No, you two were worse.

Pocketing my phone, I followed step in step with Faye as we turned the corner, the restaurant coming into view. Her aura radiated like wings fluttering, making my heart do the same when she glanced up at me. 

She gave me a smile of thanks as I opened the door for her, her scent was all consuming when she walked past me. The restaurant was busy for a late Saturday morning which made the front waiting area packed causing me to slide up behind Faye. People were brushing past us to find their way out and nearly stumbling into her, I grasped both hands on her hips to keep myself steady. 

“Sorry,” I breathed against the shell of her ear. “Some asshole nearly knocked me over.” 

She giggled, the sound making my stomach flutter. I wasn’t sure what shifted between us from our first meeting, maybe it was the fact that I was starting to open up to her more that I was seeing a different side of Faye; a softer side. 

“It’s alright, Matthew,” she glanced over her shoulder to me. 

She still called me Matthew but I wasn’t about to correct her or tell her how much I loved it.

“Oh, look!” Faye pointed towards the large table in the far corner of the restaurant where everyone had been waiting for us. 

The immense cold I felt when she slipped through my grasp made me shudder and reluctantly, I followed behind her; my eyes never leaving her back. 

Something Nicholas caught but said nothing as I sat next to him. The only other open spot was next to me which is where Faye was, already talking with Jolly. Eyes grazed over the menu, trying to figure out what to get when soft fingers grazed over my arm, causing me to shiver under her touch. 

“What are you going to get?” Faye wondered. 

“Not sure. What about you?” 

She pursed those plump lips and my eyes locked in on them, desperately wanting to know what they tasted like. 

“I can’t decide. The eggs benedict sounds good but the french toast is calling my name,” she sighed dreamily at the pictures of the food. 

For the next while as the waitress came to take our orders, I busied myself on my phone to make sure everything was set up for the show tomorrow. Everyones conversations were hushed around me doing my best to focus on my phone and not the person beside me. The way her voice sounded so magical or the way she looked intently at Noah across the table as he divulged about his relationship. 

Now that he was finally where he wanted to be with her, Noah wouldn’t stop talking about her any chance he could. 

“She was actually the one who suggested I add the woo in The Death of Peace of Mind,” Noah chuckled while taking a long drink of his water. 

“I was wondering where that came from,” Faye said. 

Finally finished with the work on my phone, I set it down just as our food came and the waitress placed the eggs benedict in front of me. Immediately I took half of it and set it on an extra plate, sliding it over to Faye. 

“Matthew,” she smiled. “You don’t need to share your food with me.” 

I shrugged while licking off the sauce from my finger. “This way you get what you wanted.” 

Her eyes were fixated on my thumb gliding over my bottom lip before she seemed to snap out of it and cut her french toast in half to set it on my plate. 

“Wow, sharing food? Matt doesn’t share food with anyone,” Bryan said. “I actually don’t think any of these guys share their food with their girlfriends.” 

Noah snorted. “Excuse me? I’ll remind you I always share with-.” 

Once again their conversations fell away as I ate quietly, every so often glancing over to Faye who was already watching me. There was the smallest bit of powdered sugar on the corner of her lips, almost teasing me to lick it clean. But before I could give in to the urge, she wiped it away with a finger after she caught me staring. 

With the plates cleared from the table and the bill in front of me, I started to grab my wallet the same time Faye began to reach for her purse. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Nick waved her off. “Matthew pays.” 

My eyes sliced into him. “It’s Matt.” 

“Matt pays. Or should I say, the business always pays,” Nick corrected himself. 

“Oh,” Faye’s eyes sparked over at me and she bumped her shoulder with mine. “I knew there was a reason why I liked you.”

On the walk back to the bus, I hung back with Noah and Jolly while Faye and Bryan talked about all the different shots and videos they could get tomorrow night. She’d been wanting to try out the video aspect of her camera and Bryan mentioned that he’d be more than happy to show her how. 

“You’re staring,” Jolly’s voice broke through my trance on Faye’s side profile. 

Pushing his shoulder, I shook my head and focused my attention straight ahead. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

Noah ran a hand through his hair. “I don’t know why you’re trying to hide how you feel about it. It’s clear there’s some kind of feeling there.” 

“The last thing I need right now is a relationship. Especially with someone who works for me. It’s bound to get messy,” I said. 

“You don’t know that, Matt,” Jolly adjusted his sunglasses. “You deserve to be happy too.” 

I shrugged. “She’s twenty five. I’m almost thirty.” 

Noah pulled me to a stop and removed his sunglasses momentarily. “Is that what's stopping you?” 

Sighing, I scuffed my shoe against a rock. “It wouldn’t work out. I’m trying to save us both from heartbreak when it comes eventually.” 

Not wanting to explain my reasoning any further, I gave them a weak smile before walking the last little distance to the bus. But my footsteps faltered when I noticed a small stand set up right next to where our bus was parked. 

Fresh Flowers. 

I lingered on one set of flowers, the vivid color reminding me of someone sweet. While the rest of the guys ascended the bus, I held back to wait in line. Five minutes later, I stepped into the main area of the bus where Faye was sitting back in her previous spot from earlier, The Hobbit perched in her lap again. Those hazel eyes glimmered when she glanced up at me and I swore all of the breath was stolen from my lungs. 

“What’s this?” She motioned to the single flower in my grasp. 

“Uh, Tulips. It reminded me of you,” my voice shook with nerves as I hastily handed the teal flower to her. 

She twirled it in her fingers while bringing it to her nose to smell it. 

“Thank you, Matthew. This was very sweet of you.” 

The smile that played on her lips was one of the most genuine ones I’d ever seen and it made that invisible string inside me vibrate with such a force, I nearly stumbled on my feet. 

“You’re welcome,” I gave her a small smile before making my way to the bunk area of the bus. 

Jolly had been leaning against the kitchen counter with a sly smile on his lips causing me to roll my eyes at him and grumble a few curses under my breath. I could continue to lie to myself and say that I didn’t think of Faye like that. But it was all a lie, everyone knew it. In the short amount of time she’d been a part of our crew, she managed to also become a part of me in a way that had me wondering how the hell that happened.

I thought Noah was crazy for spewing all that shit about soulmates but every time I watched Faye, I couldn’t help but think that maybe he was right. Because the feeling that stirred inside of me every time Faye and I were close to each other was unexplainable. 

Faye was her own mythological being in the sense that she captivated my interests the moment my eyes caught sight of her. The desperation to find out everything I could about her was heavy on my heart. I tried to tell myself that I would never work between us yet every passing moment in her presence told me otherwise. Her spirit was unlike any other. It held so much light, wonder, and magic.

Her name gave way to who she was as a person. 

Faye. 

My little fairy.

FAYE

“Faye, where are you?” 

Cursing at the voice that crackled through the radio, I adjusted the box of merch on my hip so I could answer Steven. 

“I’m grabbing the last box of shirts. Is the back door still propped open?” 

“Yep. But heads up, fans are starting to be let in so it’s already crowded at the merch table.”

“Great,” I grumbled under my breath before carrying the box from the truck back into the venue. 

It had been a very long day and the show hadn’t even started yet. I woke up late after not being able to sleep due to a rough drive from city to city. There had been some confusion on when we’d be allowed into the venue which caused Matt to go full thot blaster mode but even so, we weren’t allowed in until three this afternoon. The guys had to rush through a soundcheck while Steven had trouble setting up the merch table so I spent the last two hours helping him. We were rushing to get things set up in time before doors opened but it proved to be futile when I saw the crowds rushing inside. 

My mind had been held up by one recurring moment that happened earlier today; one that continued to make me blush. 

“Does this sound funky to you?” Folio asked while messing with his drum kit. 

Kooter shrugged. “I think it sounds fine, man. You might just be overthinking it.”

I was walking past the stage when Folio stopped me. “Faye, do the kick pedals sound off?”

With my urging, he messed around with the kick pedals of his drum set which in turn made me shrug. 

“I’m no professional like Kooter but it does sound fine to me.” 

A warm presence was felt behind me before a can dripping with condensation was held in front of my face. 

I peered a glance over my shoulder towards Matt, who shook the Celsius can in front of my face. 

“I figured you’d need this today,” he said. 

A large smile broke out on my face as I took the can, immediately popping it open. “Arctic Vibe? I’ve never had this flavor.” 

Matt rubbed the back of his neck. “It reminded me of your hair.”

We stood like that, him behind me with me turning half of my body towards him. We were so close, I could feel the warmth radiate off of him in droves and when he reached a hand up towards my hair his actions were halted by Folio calling for him. 

“Matt! I need your opinion!”

He left my side with a soft brush of fingers against my hand.

I’d been hurriedly trying to get back inside with my mind full of Matt, I didn’t see the large curb causing me to stumble and drop the box of shirts all over the parking lot. I hissed when the stinging pain burned in my knee and noticed I ripped a large hole in my leggings. Blood oozed from the wound on and I pressed a hand to it trying to stop it. 

“Fuck,” I blew out a shaky breath, doing my best to keep the tears from falling. 

“Faye?” 

Through the tears, I watched as Matt walked out of the venue, worry evident on his face. 

“What happened?” 

“I’m a fucking klutz and tripped,” I mumbled. 

He was quick to kneel in front of me, gently removing my hand to check out the damage to my knee and winced. 

“Come on,” his voice was gentle as his arms lifted me from the ground, carrying me bridal style over towards the tour bus on the other end of the lot. 

“The shirts!” I peered over his shoulder to the scattered pile of Bad Omens merch. 

Matt sighed before motioning to the radio strung over my chest so I pressed down the button. 

“Faye took a nasty fall in the parking lot while carrying the box of shirts. Can anyone scoop them up before someone finds them to sell them on Ebay?” 

I snickered at the distaste in Matt’s voice. 

“I’ve got it,” Noah’s voice came through the radio. “Does anyone need to scoop Faye up?” 

“Already handled,” I replied. 

A round of teasing ‘ooooo’s’ prompted Matt to shut off the radio as we reached the tour bus. All of the blood that wasn’t rushing to the hole in my knee was found warming my cheeks when I noticed how close our faces were to one another. I observed the lines next to his eyes, showing how exhausted he was. It was only one week into the tour and we still had two more to go. There were freckles lining the bridge of his nose that were really prominent when the sunlight casted over his face. He wore his hat backwards, allowing me to gaze into those dark eyes that seemed to go deeper than the ocean with their depths. 

“What?” He questioned, carrying me up the stairs of the bus. 

“No-nothing,” I breathed. 

For the last week I’d been telling myself not to fall for him. I wasn’t here for a relationship. I was here for work. I didn’t need to get distracted with the first pair of eyes that looked at me. 

Even if those eyes seemed to emit light whenever I caught them watching me; which was pretty often. 

Given the small space in the back area of the bus, Matt had to maneuver us so he was able to carry me into the bathroom. 

“I can walk,” I reminded him as he kicked open the bathroom door. 

Matt made a noise that sounded like I offended him while setting me down on the edge of the bathroom counter. The bathroom was the smallest part of the bus and with me sitting on the counter, Matt had to stand between my legs. Due to the slight height difference, I was the one staring down at him for once, only by an inch or two. 

My eyes tracked as his throat bobbed when he took a deep breath, spreading his hands on either side of me to rest on the edge of the counter. Our shared body heat wrapped around us in a makeshift cocoon, locking us in. 

“Does it hurt?” Matt’s voice was barely above a whisper. 

“A bit, yeah,” I admitted with an even quieter voice than his. 

His eyes flicked down to my lips before slowly he kneeled in front of my injured knee to get a better look at it. 

“Well, I don’t think you need stitches but I should clean it to get a better look at it,” his gaze swept up to me. 

When I nodded, he rummaged underneath the sink between my legs to pull out the first aid kit. 

“How connected to these leggings are you?” 

My brows furrowed at his question. “Huh?” 

The round of fabric ripped echoed in the small confines of the bathroom and I gaped at Matt who managed to rip the leggings away from me, knee down. The entire action made something burn inside of me. The way the muscles in his arms flexed as he pulled the last bit of the material away from my leg. 

Fuck, why was that so hot? 

Maybe because you want him to do that to the rest of your clothes. 

“Please don’t kick me,” Matt said. 

“What-Fuck!” I bellowed when the sting of hydrogen peroxide seeped into my open wound. 

Out of a normal reaction, I jerked my leg only for Matt to wrap his strong arm around it, keeping locked against him. 

“I said please,” he exasperated while keeping his eyes on mine. 

“It fucking hurt!” I yelled. 

His jaw ticked. “I didn’t realize how much of a baby you were.” 

I scoffed in disbelief. “Has anyone told you how much of an ass you are sometimes?” 

The arm that wasn't holding onto my leg shrugged. “Yes, but not to the ones I care about.” 

I sat on his words for a moment, trying to understand if I heard him right. 

“Does that mean you care about me?” I finally voiced my curiosity. 

Matt tenderly brushed a cotton ball across the cut on my knee before his warm breath fanned across it causing me to shiver. 

“I’m squished in this small ass bathroom to take care of your knee, what do you think?” 

He gave his infamous Matt Dierkes smirk and I rolled my eyes playfully before watching him clean the wound on my knee then placing a small bandage over it. 

“Am I going to live, doctor?” I teased. 

Matt hummed deep, the sound vibrating in his chest as his fingers grazed up and down my exposed leg, the sensation sending shockwaves through my veins. He slowly rose to full height again, face now meters from mine, and I sucked in a breath when I felt his warm breath fan over my lips. 

“I think,” his hand ghosted over my hip. “I think you might need another check up later. Just to make sure.”

My cheeks burned and I cast my eyes down to my hands that were in my lap, unable to meet his intense gaze. 

“Fairy.”

Calloused fingers lifted my chin, forcing me to lock eyes with him, and I scrunched up my nose when I realized what he had called me. 

“What did you say?” My voice croaked out. 

Matt’s cheeks were warm to the touch as my finger grazed over those defined cheekbones. His eyes fluttered shut with every tender stroke against his smooth skin and he let out a content sigh. 

“Fairy,” he repeated and it made my stomach flip three times over. 

He traced over the fairy tattoos on my arm, following the intricate designs of the flowers, and I leaned in closer to his touch. It managed to awake something inside of me that I never knew lay dormant. It was as if a flame slowly ignited with each passing touch or stolen glance and now that Matt’s lips were so close to mine, an outburst of something I wasn’t quite ready to understand was moments away from happening. 

“No one’s ever called me that before,” I admitted with a shaky breath. 

“Do you like it?”

I swallowed thickly while tracing my nail over the slight pout of his bottom lip. “I do.”

The noise that erupted from Matt’s throat was almost sinful and I felt something twinge inside of me. 

“Good, because it stays. Fairy.”

Dark eyes weighed heavy on my awaiting lips as hands held onto my thighs, spreading my legs further apart for Matt to step into. I hesitantly reached for his shirt, the material clinging to my fingertips. The magnetic pull that was always felt between us was stronger now. My soul was practically reaching for his, desperate for a connection it had been looking for ever since I was born. 

I never was one to believe in soulmates growing up but my father was certain that mine was out there because he had found his in my mother. Yet with the way my soul felt alive inside of me, I couldn’t help but think that maybe my father was right. 

“Matthew,” I gasped when his lips ever so gently brushed along mine. 

“Fairy, I-.” 

“HOLY SHIT!” 

Both of us pushed away from each other at the shrill voice that seemed to bounce off the walls of the bathroom and when my eyes landed on an unfamiliar figure standing in the doorway of the bathroom with a shocked look on her face. 

“Who the fuck are you?” Matt snapped while standing in front of me in a way to block me. 

The young female blinked a few times as her mouth mimicked a fish out of water. “I thought I’d catch Noah.” 

I could see the muscles in Matt’s back constricted as the rage began to build inside of him. Some fan had managed to get onto the bus with hopes of catching Noah doing something. 

Fucking unbelievable.

“Ash, we’ve got an issue on the tour bus. We could use you over here,” I spoke into my radio after turning it back on. 

“Everything alright?” Ash’s voice came through. 

Matt ripped the radio from my hand. “We have a strangler on the bus.” 

“What the fuck? How did that happen?” 

Noah’s voice was filled with his own anger and agitation because he felt as if all of our personal space was tainted by some fan that couldn’t respect our boundaries. 

A look of guilt crossed Matt’s features which gave me pause on why he felt that way. We weren't doing anything wrong. It wasn’t our fault a fan snuck up on the bus. 

Soon, thunderous steps echoed in the bus and I quickly hopped off the counter and shield myself behind Matt even more. The fan’s head whipped wildly from us to now Ash who arrived with another security guard and Noah in tow. 

“I just wanted a picture with Noah!” She bellowed while throwing her hands up. “I didn’t expect to see these two kissing!” 

All the blood drained from my face when I realized that she must have been standing there for longer than we thought. 

“We weren’t kissing, I was bandaging up her knee,” Matt said while clenching his fists at his side. 

My eyes snapped up from the dirty floor of the bathroom and quietly scoffed at his words. Technically we didn’t kiss but for him to act like it almost didn’t happen made my stomach drop. 

While Ash and the other guard escorted the girl off of the bus and most likely off the grounds in general, Noah’s eyes narrowed at us. 

“How long was she in here for?” He asked with his hands on his hips. 

Matt ran a hand over his face. “Man, I don’t know. I was in here helping Faye when that chick popped up out of nowhere.” 

“Faye?” Noah’s voice softened when he took one glance at the way my lips turned down in a low scowl. “Everything alright?” 

“Fine,” I blew out a shaky breath and brushed past Matt out of the bathroom. 

“Fairy.”

Stopping momentarily in the tight space of the hallway, I glanced back at Matt and gave him my best forced smile “I’m good. I’m going to change my pants and then I’ll meet you guys inside.” 

NOAH

I followed Matt closely as we stepped off the bus to give Faye some privacy and when we were out of earshot, I pulled him to a stop. 

“You kissed her?” I asked. 

He sighed while taking off his hat to shake out his hair. “No, well almost. I probably would have if that fan hadn’t snuck up on the bus. Which, I don’t even know how they did. If I wasn’t so distracted with Faye maybe-.” 

I cut him off by grabbing his shoulders. “Matt, that wasn’t your fault. Unfortunately, this shit happens.” 

“This could have been much worse,” he said, anger still heavy in his voice. “I should go help Ash deal with that. Be a manager and not some dude distracted by some crush.”

“Why do you keep trying to tell yourself that this is only some crush? It’s clear both of you have feelings for each other. Just admit it to each other.” I said. 

Matt hesitated for a long moment, trying to gather his thoughts. “I can’t admit something knowing that in the end, it won’t work out. I’m her boss. That’s all I can be.” 

I furrowed my brows. “You don’t know that things won’t work out.” 

Before Matt could respond, Faye stepped out of the bus with her camera clutched around her neck and paid no mind to either of us as she scurried inside the venue; his eyes never leaving her. 

“Is this because of your own fears that you’re keeping yourself from something that could potentially make you happy?” I wondered. 

He snorted before placing his hat back on. “You see a shrink once a week and now you think you’re some great philosopher.” 

Playfully pushing him, we began to walk back towards the venue step in step. “She knows a thing or two about relationships. Why do you think mine is flourishing right now?” 

Once inside, we took the back hallway towards the greenroom where everyone had been hanging out. Matt’s eyes immediately found Faye who was sitting on the couch setting up her camera for tonight. The way he watched her so intently brought a small smile to my face because it was something I would do. He could tell himself a thousand times over that this relationship wouldn't work because he’s her boss but with that gillmer of light that shined in his eyes whenever he watched Faye, we all knew those words meant nothing. 

“Don’t rid yourself of happiness, Matt,” I squeezed my best friend's shoulder. “You deserve it.” 

All he did was hum, still keeping his eyes trained on Faye. 

FAYE

The crowd was electric tonight, feeding off the energy Bad Omens radiated from the stage. It put a big pep in my step as I found myself bobbing my head along to the music while snapping countless pictures of them. It helped keep my mind off of the almost kiss in the tour bus bathroom but now that I had decided to let Byran work the main stage and saunter over towards the sound deck, all I could think about was Matt. 

How close he was to me in the small space. 

How warm his body felt against mine and the way he grasped onto me like I would slip through his fingers. 

I wanted to know how he tasted, how his lips felt as they moved against mine. 

At first, I was upset when he brushed off the almost kiss but the more I thought about it, I realized that maybe it was better he did. We both got lost in the haze that we nearly cost Bad Omens a lot with that fan sneaking up on the bus. So I told myself that I needed to focus on my job which is what I originally was here for. 

The second I stepped into the sound desk, Matt’s eyes quickly found mine from underneath the rim of his hat. It was the intermission part of the show so Matt had been typing away on his phone but when he saw me, quickly he pocketed it. 

“Hi,” he said over the music and noise from the crowd. 

I swallowed thickly. “Hi.”

He shifted in his spot. “How’s your knee?” 

“Hurts like a bitch but I’ll live,” I shrugged while holding onto my camera.

Silence for a long beat before Matt motioned to the stage. 

“How’s it going up there?” 

“Good,” I nodded while taking a step towards him. “Everything sounds great. But I wanted to get a look at the visuals from here if that’s alright?

He extended a hand next to him. “You don’t have to ask, Faye.”

Slinking up next to him, I sucked in a breath when the familiar feeling of Matt encased around me. It pulled me further and further down the abyss that was him and no matter how hard I tried to crawl my way out, I knew it was futile. My heart desperately wanted to be here. 

Neither of us said anything, Matt clicking away on his laptop and me quickly checking my emails. I’d been waiting on an important one the last few days and the anxiety of not knowing if I got the job or not was making it hard to focus on other things. 

Besides Matt. 

I knew this job with Bad Omens was temporary but being on the road with them made me realize that I thrived in this life and I wanted more of it. 

“Everything alright?” Matt asked when he saw my shoulders fall. 

Shoving my pocket into the back pocket of my jeans, I gave a half shrug. “I applied to be a full time photographer for a band but haven’t heard anything yet.” 

“What band?” 

“Hollow Souls. I saw them for the first time on tour with nothing,nowhere and knew I wanted to work with them. Y/N’s energy on stage is insane. I got great shots of her I wish she could have seen,” I said with a sigh. 

The smile that spread out on Matt’s face made my heart flutter but he said nothing, simply moved around me to click a few things on the sound board when he realized it was the end of the intermission.

“What are you doing?” I asked. 

“Do you want to start the intro for Bad Decisions?” He smirked. 

My eyes doubled. “What? I don’t know how.” 

Matt pointed to something on his laptop then I felt his warm breath against my ear when he moved closer to me. 

“Click it in three,” his fingers trailed down my spine

My own fingers shook as it hovered over the buttons. 

“Two,” he now slipped behind me. 

His broad chest pressed right up against my back and I could feel his cock against the swell of my ass. I bit my lip when one of his hands slipped underneath my sweater, grazing over my heated skin. 

“One,” his hands now rested on both sides of me, gripping the ends of his sound desk to lock me in.

With a gleeful smile, I clicked on Bad Decisions, the intro starting along with the visuals on the screens. 

“Good job,” he mused in the crook of my neck. “If photography doesn't work out, you could always be my assistant.” 

Ignoring the way my stomach flipped at his praise, I slowly turned in his embrace and smiled up at him while taking his hat, and putting it on. “In your dreams.” 

With a fit of giggles, I slipped out from underneath his arms and only for him to wrap an arm around my midsection, pulling me back into his chest. 

“I need my hat, fairy,” he breathed against my neck. 

Turning my head towards him, I let my words linger over his lips before sneaking away from the sound desk, still wearing his hat. 

“You’ll have to catch me, first.”

Y/N(Angel)

Taking a sip from my coffee, I clicked away at my laptop while the hustle and bustle of the cafe behind me fell acted as a white noise while I worked. I’d been busy searching through a list of potential candidates for Hollow Souls new photographer. After Lana did our new promo shots, I still felt guilty for taking her away from her main job with the guys, so Malcolm, Chase, and I decided that we would need our own full time photographer. 

“How’s it going?” Astrid asked while setting a plate of chocolate mochis in front of me. 

I groaned. “Not that great. I thought they’d be at least one but so far, a whole lot of nothing.” 

Giving me a somber smile, she went back to working the register as my phone buzzed on the counter next to me. 

Matt: I need to ask you something. 

Raising a brow, I put my work on hold for a moment to respond to him. 

Me: I am at your service. 

Me: Also, isn’t BO on stage right now? Shouldn’t you be working?

Matt: Intermission.

Matt: How did you know Noah was the one you wanted?

“That’s a loaded question,” I muttered to myself before replying. 

Me: It wasn't really a moment. More so a feeling. It’s when my heart felt empty when he was gone but when he was around, it felt full. Cliche, I know. But that’s the only way to describe it. 

Me: Does this have something to do with a certain blue haired photographer?

Matt: Noah told you? 🙄

I giggled at his choice of emoji.

Me: Mochi tells me everything.

Me: Don’t tell him I said his nickname to you. He still likes to pretend no one knows. 

Matt: I’m going to get back at him, I swear. He thinks he’s some sort of philosopher now talking about how I shouldn’t rid myself of happiness because of my own fears.

“That does sound like him,” I smiled while taking a sip of my now cold coffee. 

Me: He’s right, you know. You do deserve happiness, Matt. I haven’t seen you two together but from what I hear, it seems like both of you are smitten for each other. 

Matt: She was reading The Hobbit, Y/N! Out of all the books she could be reading, why that one? 

Matt: And her smile? Fuck, it pierces my heart every time. 

Matt: Don’t even get me started on her laugh. The way the skin next to her eyes crinkle when she laughs. I want to be the one that gets to hear that every day.

I smiled at how he was talking about her, knowing the exact feeling he was going through. I’d felt it with Noah many times before. 

Me: Tell her that. Don’t let Boss Matt get in the way of the happiness you deserve. 

Matt: That’s the thing, I am her boss. I don’t think it’s a good idea if I get involved with her. We still have two weeks left on tour. What if something goes sour and it doesn’t work out? I can’t risk that.  

Matt: Fuck, she’s here. I have to

I waited for another text to come through after the unfinished one but after a moment, I realized he must have got caught up with something so switching from his texting thread to Noah’s, I typed out a message I knew he would see later when he was off stage. Yet I paused at the unread text from Noah that I must have missed earlier. 

Mochi 🍡: 10 more days and you’re finally going to be sleeping next to me. I miss you so much angel. I’m never going to let you go. 

With heat creeping to my cheeks, I broke out in a huge smile knowing that soon I’d be joining them for the rest of their tour. 

Me: Matt is sooooo smitten with Faye.

Me: Also, facetime me later when you’re back on the bus. I want to see your mochi face. 🍡🍡

About twenty minutes later, after Malcolm and Chase joined me at Fika, we were about to give up on our search for a photographer when Matt’s new text changed our minds. 

Matt: Answer Faye’s email. She sent in her application and resume. 

I raised a brow before telling Chase to search up Faye’s name in my inbox. 

“It went to spam,” he said while showing me the email that had a pretty lengthy resume attached. 

Malcolm read it over my shoulder. “Is this the girl filling in for Lana right now?” 

“Yeah. She seems to have Matt pretty smitten,” I said while working out a reply email. 

“Matt Dierkes? Smitten?” Chase chuckled while leaning farther back into his chair. “I find that hard to believe.”

After hitting send on the email, I quickly sent a text to Matt. 

Me: I hope you know that your input had nothing to do with this.

Matt: She deserves this more than anyone.

FAYE

I sat on the edge of the stage, legs swinging in the air, as I clicked through all of the photos I took tonight. I paused on one that made my heart beat unevenly in my chest. 

Matt in the sound deck after I’d taken his hat. His hair was unruly but his eyes were transfixed on his equipment as he worked. There was a sense of peace on the soft features of his face as he did something that he loved. 

Ruckus voices carried from the open side door of the venue where everyone had been loading up the trucks but I paid them no mind, still clicking through my pictures. 

“I like it when I tickle the cervix,” Jolly chuckled. 

My eyes snapped up from underneath the hat and glanced over to the group of guys intime to see Noah eat a tomato whole causing me to grimace. 

Matt snickered. “I’d like to nut in her hard.” 

I titled my head at the guys as they continued to laugh at their obvious talks about sex. But when those dark eyes landed on me, Matt’s shoulders stiffened. 

“Shit,” Nicholas cursed. “Sorry Faye. We sometimes forget that it’s not just a big group of guys working.”

I waved them off, knowing that their sex talk didn’t bother me. Although, Matt’s statement made my face grow a deep crimson. 

“I’m more so stuck on the fact that Noah just raw dogged a tomato like that,” I admitted with a shiver. 

He shrugged. “I fucking love tomatoes.” 

While the rest of them finished taking out the last bit of equipment, Matt came to sit next to me at the end of the stage. Both of our legs swayed together, every so often our feet would knock into each other. 

“Have you checked your email recently?” He asked. 

“No,” I sighed while setting my camera off to the side. “I’m starting to think that they might have passed on me.” 

Matt bumped his shoulder with mine before throwing his hair into a low bun. “Maybe you should check it again.” 

“Why? So my heart can break even more?” I semi-joked while pulling out my phone but froze when I read the new email. 

Dear Faye, 

First off I’d like to apologize for how long it took us to respond. For some reason your application went to our spam folder. Chase, Malcolm, and I would love it for you to officially join our team! If you accept, we’ll send over the necessary documents for you to sign and we can get you started as soon as you return from your contract with Bad Omens. 

Talk soon! 

Hollow Souls

“Oh shit!” I exclaimed while nearly dropping my phone. “I got the job!” 

Before I could register exactly what happened, I found myself jumping onto Matt who fell back against the old wood of the stage. His hands rested on my hips keeping me in place while I gazed down at him, my legs locking him in on both sides. His chest rose and fell with each deep breath as those eyes drank in the sight of me straddling him. 

“Fairy,” he lifted his chin up towards me. 

Thoughts of our almost kiss in the tour bus bathroom crept into the forefront of my mind and all I wanted was to finally feel those lips on mine. Days of constant flirting and stolen glances led up to this moment yet I hesitated with fear of making the first move. His eyes flicked down to my awaiting lips; a silent question. 

“Please,” I whimpered. 

Strong hands gripped the back of my head, knocking off his hat that I still wore, and forced me to those lips I’d been craving and when we finally collided it was as if the stars exploded in the sky. Goosebumps rose to my skin and when Matt’s tongue glided over my bottom lip, wanting entrance into my mouth, I accepted with a moan. Our lips molded together perfectly, almost as if we were made for one another. Our souls connected in a tangle of webs, our desire growing stronger and stronger as our tongues fought for dominance. I linked my hands with Matt’s, locking them above his head and I rutted my hips deeper into his, brushing my clit against the hardness of his cock. He groaned into my mouth while trying to free his hands from my grip. I nipped at his bottom lip before devouring them again, reveling in the lingering taste of his drink from earlier. 

“Matthew,” I keened against his lips.

Finally he was able to break free from my grasp on his wrists and he slid up a hand underneath my shirt. Fingers grazing at the bottom of my bralette, playing with the lacey material. 

A clearing of a throat caused me to scramble off of his lap, fixing my shirt in the process. Matt swiftly sat up while not so discreetly fixing himself and when our eyes locked in on the promoter of the venue, I heard Matt mutter something under his breath before rising to his feet, placing the hat back on his head. 

“Am I interrupting something?” Jason, the prompter, asked with a clear look of annoyance on his face. 

“No. I apologize for that,” Matt didn’t bother to look in my direction.

Jason made a noise in the back of his throat. “Well, if you’re finished with that. I’m ready to close out the final bill.” 

“I'll meet you in your office,” Matt said with a thick voice, hands resting in his pockets. 

Jason flicked his eyes over towards me as I sat on the edge of the stage yet again, hiding my burning embarrassment behind my hair. His footsteps echoed in the vast emptiness of the venue and when he was gone, Matt let out a long groan while running a hand over his face. 

“Faye,” his voice was stern. “That was completely unprofessional.” 

My head snapped over towards him, rage consuming me. “You’re equally to blame, Matthew. You didn’t stop it. All day you’ve been teasing me so don’t act like this was my fault.” 

Even though his eyes softened, the tone in his voice didn’t. “I know I’m also to blame. But that can’t happen again. I’m your boss.” 

Doing my best to keep the burning tears at bay, I snatched my camera and jumped off the stage. “Whatever you say, boss.”

The rage was still all consuming as I stepped outside, the chilly night air brushing against my heated skin, and when Noah took in sight of my agitated state, he gently stopped me from stomping into the bus. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked. 

I let out a staggered breath, feeling those damn tears prick the corner of my eyes. “Nothing, I’m fine.”

Noah’s brows furrowed from underneath the hood of his Hereditary sweater. “Are you sure? You came barreling out of that door like you were on a mission to chew someone's head off.”

For a moment, I stood silent as I tried to gather my thoughts on everything that happened the last ten minutes. Me checking my email on Matt’s request, to find out I got the job with Hollow Souls, and then our kiss that was abruptly interrupted by the promoter. But something stood out among the rest, causing me to purse my lips. 

“How did Hollow Souls know I’m on tour with you? I never made it public knowledge,” I asked Noah. 

He blinked, almost taken aback by my words. “What about Hollow Souls?” 

I then divulged on how I applied to be their full time photographer and how I ended up getting the job. 

“Oh,” Noah scratched the back of his neck. “Y/N’s my girlfriend.”

My jaw went slack at the sudden revelation, all of the pieces slowly clicking into place. 

“Did you make her give me the job?” I asked. 

“I promise you, Faye, I haven’t talked to her about it. I didn’t even know you were applying to be their photographer,” Noah assured me with a gentle squeeze of my shoulder. 

“Who else would have told them,” I muttered to myself. 

Suddenly the back door of the venue opened and Matt walked out with furry eyes. 

“That stunt nearly lost us the contract here for future gigs,” he sneered. 

I blinked at him, taken aback by his sudden change of demeanor. He was even angrier than before. 

“That stunt?” I scoffed. “You mean our kiss?” 

Noah’s head whipped between us and Jolly, who had been loading up the production truck, froze at my words. 

“What we did was completely unprofessional, Faye. I had to talk down the prompter not to black list us from here,” Matt threw a hand back towards the venue. 

“Did you tell Hollow Souls to give me the job?” I crossed my arms over my chest. 

He blinked as his lips parted to speak, only to be met with silence; the silence that gave me my answer. Every high I felt from not only getting my dream job but the kiss we shared evaporated to the concrete beneath my feet. But I refused to let anyone see how defeated I was so I held my head up high with slits for eyes as I zoned in on Matt. 

“I sincerely apologize for my unprofessional actions that involved you. I can assure you that it won’t happen again.” 

Not bothering to hear another word from him, I brushed past Matt onto the bus.

MATT

A slew of grumbled curses fell from my lips as I clicked away at my laptop with an aggressive finger. Exhaustion had been weighing heavy on my shoulders causing dark circles under my eyes which made my friends worry. I assured them with a grunt that I was fine but everyone knew that was bullshit. Today, however, no one dared speak to me because they knew I was minutes away from saying something I knew I shouldn’t. 

It had been a day of constant fuck ups. First, we were stuck in bumper to bumper traffic in the middle of nowhere Wisconsin, nearly missing our call time at the venue. Then while setting up our equipment, one of the techs nearly dropped Jolly’s guitar to the ground, almost breaking it. I’d never seen Jolly that shade of crimson as he did it best not to snap at the poor tech. More recently, I’d spent the last ten minutes trying to find the mix for Nowhere To Go on my system but it was as if it was wiped clean from my hard drive. 

Yet the worst part of this shitty day? Faye hadn’t spoken one word to me in over forty eight hours. Guilt ate away at me for how I acted in regards to the kiss. It was one of the best ones I had and I couldn’t stop thinking about how her body felt on top of mine, those lips nipping and pulling at mine. She tasted sweet like honey and I found myself becoming addicted to Faye, desperate for another hit. 

But it was unprofessional where we did it. It should have been in the private confines of a secluded room or our bus. We nearly lost a big contract with the previous promoter and with a lot of sweet talking for next time we played there, I was able to smooth things over. 

Which is why I meant what I told Faye. I was her boss and we needed to remain professional. We couldn’t allow our growing desires for each other cloud what was right. 

So you’re saying your feelings for her aren't right? 

Muttering away the thoughts, I leaned farther back into my chair in the green room with my laptop still perched on my lap desperately trying to find where the fuck that track went. The room was filled with crew members who were taking their breaks from setting up. We should have been sound checking but because of the missing track, we were hours behind schedule. The constant chatter from everyone in the room however sounded like nails on a chalkboard so with a snap of my laptop, I tucked it under my arm and stormed out of the green room. I needed to find somewhere quiet to work. 

Stepping out into the bright sun, I tucked my hat farther over my eyes but halted when a strained laugh caught my attention. I set down my laptop on one of the tables in the outdoor catering area just in time to see Faye talking with the guitar players of the opening band that had been supporting Bad Omens. 

Tyler.

“So tomorrow is an off day,” Tyler mentioned while taking a small step towards Faye. “Do you have any plans?” 

I watched as Faye shifted on her feet, playing with the ends of her teal hair. She had it down this afternoon, it blowing with the tender breeze that brought a chill to my bones even though I was dressed in a hoodie and joggers. 

That or the fact that Tyler was standing too close to her. 

Those bright eyes I found myself drowning in began to roam around her surroundings, as if she was looking for something. Or someone. When they landed on me, I would have missed the way she took a small intake of breath if I hadn’t already been watching her. 

“Yeah, I do,” she said, never taking her eyes off of me. “I still have to work.”

Tyler took a step towards Faye, reaching for the hand that was gripping her hair. 

“Cancel them. I’ve got this great thing planned for both of us.” 

Suddenly forgetting the issues with the set, I stalked towards them head-on. My eyes narrowed at Tyler, anger festering low in my gut when I noticed he still hadn’t removed his fingers from her wrist. 

“I’m not going to cancel my plans. That would be rude of me,” Faye’s soft voice eased away the anger slightly within me. 

When she tried to step away from Tyler, his grip around her wrist tightened causing her to squirm in his grasp. 

“Just make up an excuse. You’re sick. I’m sure whoever you have plans with would understand.”  

Faye’s eyes dropped to the grip around her just as I reached them, hands balled up to fists at my side. 

“Tyler, you’re nice-,” she started. 

Tyler rolled his eyes with a scoff. “Come on, Faye. Just one night. We can fuck then go our separate ways.” 

The shocked and disgusted expression that covered her beautiful features when Tyler pressed a kiss to her cheek was the tipping point. It was a list of things the last few days since we kissed. Faye ignoring me, not being able to find the missing track, not having my daily Celsius drink, and now seeing this asshole pressuring Faye; I was ready to combust. 

“Faye,” my voice was tight, along with the grip around the wire of my radio as it hung around me. “Are you alright?” 

Tyler’s gaze bounced between the both of us as I stood next to her. “We were talking, Matt.” 

I threw my shoulders back, puffing my chest. “Really? Because it sounded like you were forcing her into something she didn’t want.” 

Faye finally removed herself from Tyler’s grasp and slipped behind me. “We’re done here.” 

Tyler’s eyes bounced between Faye and me, assessing the situation until a smug smile curled his lips. 

“Oh so that’s it, you two are fucking?” 

My heart damn near jumped in my throat when I heard Faye’s soft intake of breath.

FAYE

“Oh so that’s it, you two are fucking?” 

Tyler pointed between Matt and I, causing my breath to get caught in my throat as my head snapped over towards Matt, who continued to stand toe to toe with Tyler. I nearly stumbled when my heart dropped to my stomach while I awaited Matt’s answer. 

There had been a crowd gathering and when I took sight of Noah’s face as he stepped down from the bus, I knew that whatever was about to happen wasn’t going to be good.

Shit.

“Faye is a coworker of mine. I saw she was uncomfortable because of you so I stepped in. That’s all,” Matt shrugged. 

I swallowed the burn of tears as I cast my head down at the camera in my hands. There were plans tonight to live stream Bad Omens concert and since it was a special occasion, I brought out my special camera for this; my fathers old one.

Tyler’s next words made the air shift around us as I glanced up in time to see Matt’s jaw tick. 

“Damn, her pussy is that bad, huh?”

Everything happened all too quickly, almost like a blur of shouted curses and flying fists. Noah and Bryan stepped forward as Matt shoved Tyler causing me to stumble over my feet, dropping my camera to the concrete with me. I landed on my ass, scrapping my palms as I threw my hands down to support my fall. 

Matt’s fist landed on Tyler’s jaw right before Jolly yanked him away but that didn’t stop him from yelling at Tyler. 

“I didn’t start this but I damn sure finished it, fucker!” He bellowed. 

Jolly gave Matt his own shove before running a hand through his hair. “Fucking stop! Look what you did!” 

Following Jolly’s finger, Matt gasped when he saw me lying on the ground, holding a broken camera in my bloody and shaking hands. Bryan was kneeling next to me, slowly helping me to my feet as the tears I fought so hard to keep back began flowing down my cheeks. My fathers old camera sat in crumbled pieces within my hands, irreplaceable and unfixable. 

“Fairy,” Matt’s voice was soft as he reached for me.

“Don’t fucking touch me,” I seethed while yanking my arm away from him. “Don’t talk to me. Don’t look at me. Don’t even think of me.”

“Faye,” his voice was louder now as he called after me, watching me scurry into the bus to hide from all those pitiful gazes that lingered. 

BRYAN

With a frown, I watched as Faye nearly stumbled up into the bus due to the tears clouding her eyes and I swiftly turned on my feet towards Matt, who was being held back from Tyler by Noah and Jolly. Both of the Nicks were trying to deescalate the situation with the promoter of the venue that was threatening to cancel the show tonight due to the unnecessary violence. Everything had become so fucked in a matter of seconds with Tyler’s words and now, the anger Matt felt for the situation was directed back onto him. 

“Dude, stop!” I snapped while stepping between Matt and Tyler but keeping my eyes directly on the former. “Did you not realize what you just did?” 

Matt’s jaw was rigid with his anger but he eventually looked my way. 

“You two caused Faye to fall down to the fucking ground. Her hands are cut up pretty good but that doesn't matter because something that’s irreplaceable broke. All because of you two fucking idiots.” 

I wasn’t the one to curse this much but the second I saw the camera fall to the ground, immediately I felt the pain that stabbed Faye in the chest. 

Matt opened his mouth to protest but I held up a hand to stop him. “You claim you need to be the manager, well fucking act like it. You created a scene, fix it!”

Not bothering to stick around for a rebuttal, I ran over to the bus and bounded up the steps just in time to see Faye dotting her blotchy cheeks with a tissue. 

“Faye?” I said quietly. “Do you need anything?” 

She choked on a sob while forcing a shaking hand towards the mess of broken camera pieces on the table. 

“I need my fathers camera back! Do you know how old it is? What I had to do to make sure it was usable? Everything, all the pictures and memories gone because of-of,” she choked on another sob so I pulled her into my embrace.

“I know,” I hushed her with a soothing circle against her back. “Matt never meant for it to go that far. He feels like shit, although he might not show it right now. But he cares.” 

“Right,” she scoffed while pulling from my embrace. “He has a funny way of showing it.” 

I gave her a small smile. “Matt is closed off with a lot of people which makes them get the wrong impression of him. But with the people he cares about, he’d protect them. Which is what he was trying to do with Tyler but I think his feelings for you blinded him on what was the correct way to approach that.”

Faye stayed silent for a moment, letting my words digest, before she gave a small nod. I knew it wouldn’t change the issues plaguing them. That was something they needed to work out themselves but even if my words helped a bit, that’s all I could do. 

“Come on,” I motioned towards the broken camera. “Let’s see what we can do.”

MATT

My soul was calling out into the void, searching for the connection it once had and desperate to have it again. It felt like everything had been drained from me the last couple of days no matter how hard I tried to fix things. I spent countless hours looking for that specific camera to replace it for Faye. I knew it wouldn’t replace the sentimental value and all the memories it held but maybe it could ease the pain that swam in her heart. 

The fight with Tyler happened days ago and after we both apologized to Faye, she seemed to slip into herself. That usual brightness of her soul dimmed as she went about working, never once interacting with any of us. We had four days left of tour and she mentioned to Bryan in passing that she couldn’t wait for the last day because that meant new opportunities. 

With Hollow Souls. 

Y/N had reached out to assure Faye that they hired her because of her resume not because we all knew each other. That seemed to ease away some of her worries and I could tell she was excited to start working for them. 

But my heart and soul weren’t ready to let her go quite yet. 

After closing down the sound deck, another successful show in the books, I racked my brain with ideas on how to make things up to Faye when an airy giggle reached my ears. 

“We should definitely meet up once the tour ends,” Faye smiled warmly at Greg, the drum tech for Before We Fall. “It will be good for us.”

Greg agreed with a side hug, wrapping his arms around Faye. “I’ll text you once things slow down and we can meet up.” 

“Can’t wait!” She beamed that smile I found myself falling deeper and deeper for. 

When Greg and Faye went their separate ways, the familiar jealousy rage I felt when I saw her talking with Tyler festered inside of me, spreading through my veins, yet this time I took a different approach than violence. I followed on Faye’s heels as she exited the venue and ascended up the dark bus. Everyone else was still inside helping with the tear down. 

“Faye,” I breathed her name, causing her to turn swiftly on her heels. 

In the lowlight of the lamp posts outside that casted into the bus, she looked mythological. Her white sundress shimmered and the waves of her teal hair cascaded down her back. The last few days I’ve spent any alone time I could find locked in the bathroom with my hand wrapped around my cock, the image of her on top of me playing like a loop in my brain. 

My little fairy.

“Did you need something, Mathew?” She asked with a business-like edge to her voice. 

The vision of her in that light with her hands perched on her hips while she cocked one out, full of attitude, made my cock twitch and not bother to think of the repercussions, I pressed her up against the door of the bathroom. 

“What are you-?” 

I captured her lips in a kiss that was fueled by so much fervor, it made my head spin. It was only our second kiss but just like the first, our souls danced together in perfect harmony when the magnetic pull between us vibrated. Faye’s body went stiff in my embrace but soon with a rush of air, her hands sneaked up underneath my shirt to scratch at the skin of my back undoubtedly leaving half crescent shaped moons as she dug into me. 

Her lips were soft, almost silken, and pillowy against my own. I could feel the velvet tickle of her breath beneath my nose when my fingers threaded through those vibrant strands of hair. 

An unfamiliar feeling blossomed in my chest, taking over every part of me, as my tongue left kitten kisses along her bottom lip. She began to pull away from me slightly only for me to yank her back in by my teeth. I wanted to plummet in everything that was Faye, letting her consume all of me every day. I could feel the thunderous beats of our hearts together as I pressed her harder against the door, my cock brushing ever so softly against her clit. She hooked her fingers in the waistband of my shorts, doing whatever she could to pull me closer. It was a mess of a kiss, both of us dry humping against each other to grasp that euphoric high we were craving. 

Her palm pressed lightly over my cock causing me to yank on her hair, exposing more of her neck to me. My teeth grazed over the sensitive skin behind her ear and she shivered in my grip when my calloused hands lifted up the bottom of her dress, letting the material bunch up against her stomach. 

“My fairy,” I proclaimed into the crook of her neck, a single finger slipping underneath underneath the cotton fabric of her panties.  

Almost like magic, there was a wide space between us as she pushed me away, those perky breasts rising and falling as she caught her breath. Her lips were swollen, bruised from the force of our kiss, and I groaned at the sight of a faint red mark on her neck. One that I left. 

“This can’t happen!” Faye yelled while adjusting the bottom of her dress. “You’ve made it clear that you’re my boss and this-.”

She pointed between us. “Is unprofessional.”

“Fuck that,” I spat. “I don’t care about that anymore.” 

Faye wiped away the spit from her lips and sneered her distaste. “Why? Because you saw me talking with Greg and wanted to stake your claim on something that’s not yours?”

The words spewed from my mouth like vomit.

“Well, it seemed clear to me that you like it when anyone shows you attention. Does it give you a sick thrill? Turn you on?”

Faye blinked slowly while her lips parted. “Excuse me?”

“You were going to go out with that guy!” I threw a hand over my shoulder back towards the venue. “I bet you do get some sort of sick thrill from it. You string me along, fucking with my feelings, and now that I turned you down, you’re doing the same thing to other guys? You’re just like the rest of them, I don’t know why I thought you were different.”

Something glistened in her eyes and the breath she let out sounded so broken. But I was enraged with everything that’s happened the last week, all I saw was red. 

“That’s not fair. You don’t know anything,” she shook her head. 

“I don’t need to, Faye. I’ve seen enough and I’m glad I got out from under you when I did,” I roughly brushed past her, nearly turning back when I heard a broken sob fall from her lips.

Keep going. Don’t falter. That’s what she wants. 

Thunderous footsteps echoed behind me, slapping against the pavement as we stepped outside. Faye’s bright eyes filled with her own rage stared up at me as she stepped in front of me. 

“You think you’re so fucking smart? Greg is dating a friend of mine from back home. We were talking about meeting up all together,” she poked a finger in my chest. 

Yet I couldn’t apologize because she shoved another finger in my chest. “You’re an asshole! You think you’re mature because you’re older than me? You’re a manchild who can’t accept someone who cares for you. You’re one of the most self deprecated people I’ve ever met and this act you’ve got going isn’t working.”

Another poke to my chest and this one caused me to stumble slightly.

“You don’t get to push me away, call me unprofessional for something we both did, but then try to crawl your way back to me after what you did! Your jealousy broke something that I cannot replace. I’ll never forgive you for that.” 

I grasped her wrist when she went to poke my chest again and held it flush against me. “I’m sorry.”

Her face flinched, not expecting my apology, yet she continued on with her wrath. 

“Sorry doesn’t fix things! We have four days left of this tour, let's just ignore each other like we have been and we can finally forget everything that happened the second we part ways,” Faye ripped her hand from mine and stomped back towards the bus. 

I stood there in the middle of the alley behind the venue, trying to gather my bearings from our argument. Like everything with Faye, our shared moments together were a whirlwind and I never knew what to focus on first. 

The way her body molded into mine when we kissed. 

How pretty her moans sounded when I pressed my cock against her. 

How wet she was when I brushed my finger along her folds. 

How kissed fucked she looked after breaking us apart.

Or the way her fury vibrated off of her when she poked those pretty nails into my chest. 

Once again, I let the negativity of what could possibly be something so good for me ruin it before it had the chance to begin. Faye was all encompassing, she was what my soul had been missing since creation. It scoured the earth for hers and now that it was in my grasp, I refused to let her go.

NOAH

I’d been leaning against the old brick of the venue, getting ready to facetime Y/N when heated voices made me pocket my phone in time to see Faye storm after Matt, poking her finger in his chest. When Matt dragged his feet back to the bus in clear defeat, I knew that I needed to do something to fix whatever was broken between them.

“Mochi!” Y/N’s bright smile greeted me when she answered my facetime call. “I miss you.” 

“I miss you too, angel,” I slowly paced the alley. 

“What’s going on? Why are you outside?” She asked while cuddling her couch pillow closer to her chest. 

I could see the luminescence of the television casting a glow of colors against the wall behind her. She’d been watching a movie when I called, the words echoing through my phone. 

"People once believed that when someone dies, a crow carries their soul to the land of the dead."

“Are you watching The Crow again?” I teased with a playful smile. 

Y/N rolled her eyes before telling Jesse to pause the movie which made my brows pull together. “Wait, are you at my house?” 

“Yeah. Jesse texted me earlier asking if I could come hang out. I guess Maxxine stood him up. Again,” she sighed. 

“I never liked her,” I grumbled with agitation. 

“She was my friend! How do you think I feel?” But then Y/N shifted on the couch. “Do you care that I’m here without you?” 

“Not at all, angel. You know you’re always welcome there even if I’m not. I’m glad you’re there for Jesse.” 

Just then a head full of curls appeared on the screen. “She’s making me watch this movie. I had no choice in the matter.”

“It’s a great fucking movie,” she ruffled his curls before playfully pushing him away. “Why the sour face, Mochi?” 

Sighing I sat on the bench in front of the venue now, gazing up at the stars. It was nearing midnight and thankfully all the fans from tonight's show had left, leaving me out here alone with my thoughts. 

“It’s Matt and Faye. They’re still fighting and all I want to do is help them,” I ran a hand over my tired face. 

Something Y/N noticed. 

“Noah,” her voice was as soft as her skin. “I know you love your friends and want to help them but sometimes, they need to be the ones to do it.”

I shrugged while playing with the string of my joggers with my free hand. “Maybe I can do something that pushes them in the right direction. Force them in a locked closet at the next venue to talk it out.”

Y/N snorted her laughter. “That never works. But I know what will work.”

With a pulled brow, I listened intently to her plan as she told me what I needed to do. 

“You’re sure this will work?” I asked while slowly walking towards the bus, exhaustion digging its claws into me. 

“Everyone loves a good “there was only one bed” trope. It’ll work,” she assured me with that smile I missed so much. 

“I can’t believe I’ll see you in two days, angel,” I said with a bit more excitement in my voice than before. 

Y/N cuddled the pillow closer to her chest. “I’m counting down the hours, mochi.”

FAYE

After leaving Noah in the hotel lobby while he waited for Y/N to arrive, I spun the keycard to my room between my fingers, ready for a full night's sleep in an actual bed. We arrived at the final stop on the tour and with tomorrow night being the last show, we were staying in a hotel for the next couple of nights. 

72 hours. 

That’s how long it had been since Matt and I spoken to each other. Since our blow up argument a few nights ago, I had chosen to sleep on the couch in the back room of the bus, not wanting to be anywhere near him. Even though my heart was hurting with the space between us. Ultimately I knew I needed this space from him because in two nights, I’d be flying back home alone and forgetting everything that happened. 

Well, trying to anyway.

With an yawn, I slipped the keycard into the slot of the door, the light flashing green. I took all of two steps inside before coming to a sudden halt at the sight before me. Two suitcases opened and scattered throughout and a long body stretched out wide on the bed in the room. 

The only bed in the room. 

Matt removed the pillow from his face to see me standing in the doorway, clutching the handle of my suitcase with white knuckles and he rolled his eyes. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he grumbled while sitting up in bed. 

“What are you doing in my room?” I demanded. 

Matt scoffed. “Your room? I’ve been here for the last hour. You’re the one in my room.”

Neither of us broke eye contact, not wanting to lose, and I motioned to the keycard on the table next to him. 

“Who gave you your card?” 

“Noah,” he answered. 

Son of a bitch. 

“He set this up,” I muttered before turning on my heels, ready to march back down to the lobby to ask for another room when Matt’s voice made me freeze. 

“The hotel is booked. There’s no other rooms available.”

I threw my head back with an audible groan before slamming the door shut and forcing my suitcase into the closet of the room. I would have been fine with this rooming situation if there had been a couch but besides the bed, the only other place to sleep was an old, worn out chair in the corner of the room. 

It was almost nine in the evening and after the long day of travel, the only thing I wanted to do was shower and go to sleep. Noah mentioned plans about possibly going out for some food but the moment I saw Matt lounging on my bed, I wanted to take the pillow and suffocate him; mingling with others be damned. 

I didn’t even make it more than a single step towards the bathroom before my head snapped over to Matt when he spoke again. 

“I took all the hot water. Might want to wait a bit.”

It was then that I noticed he was shirtless in bed, wet strands of hair clinging to his chest; clearly fresh out of the shower. His shorts hung low on his hips and I couldn’t tear my gaze away from the light colored happy trail underneath his belly button. This was the first time I’d seen him shirtless and I felt all the heat rush to between my legs. 

Focus!

“I’m sure you can bunk with Bryan or Nicholas. Although, they talk a lot and I know how much that irritates you,” Matt winked while propping an arm behind his head. 

“I fucking hate you,” I seethed before stomping over to the bed and ripping the part of the covers he wasn’t laying on back so I could slide into bed. 

Matt continued to wear that smug smile which made me glare at him. “What the fuck are you so smug about? Happy that I’m miserable and stuck in this room with you?”

“You’re so upset that you didn’t even realize you got into bed still wearing your shoes and jeans.” 

Grumbling every name under the sun at him, I scrambled out of bed to kick off my shoes and nearly ripped the skinny jeans away from my legs, leaving it a pile on the floor. I now stood in front of Matt in nothing but an oversized band tee that I hadn’t been wearing a bra under. It’s what I usually go to sleep in anyway. It reached about mid thigh now that my jeans were off. 

“Is this better, Matthew?” 

Those dark eyes trailed up my long legs, lingering on the swell of my ass before he nodded. 

“I’d be fine if you came to bed with nothing,” he shrugged. 

I squealed before wrenching a pillow off the bed and smacking him in the head with it. 

Not one. 

Not two times. 

But four times. 

Matt finally realized he’d been under attack so his arms reached out to wrap around my hips, dragging me to the bed with him. It was a fight for who would end up on top as I tried to continue with my onslaught of pillow attacks but his strength won in the end. Throwing the pillow across the room, he managed to pin me to the bed with his hips and used one large hand to pin both of mine above my head. 

His hair was a mess covering his face as those dark eyes stared daggers into me but I raised my chin up at him in defiance. 

“Are you finished with your tantrum?” His chest rumbled. 

“Fuck off!” I shot back while wiggling underneath him. 

My shirt had ridden up in our fight, resting just below my breasts and my bright yellow thong was on full display for Matt to drink in. But his eyes continued to rest on my face. 

More so, my lips. 

My pussy kept pressing against his clear erection causing him to bite back a moan and tighten his grip on my hands. 

“Stop it,” he bit out through gritted teeth. 

I didn’t. 

In fact, I pressed myself up closer to him, rubbing my clit against his cock. “Stop what? This? I thought you wanted this?” 

The teasing tone of my voice was thick which only angered Matt even more. 

“You look pathetic, trying so hard not to-.” 

My words were cut off by his mouth devouring mine in such a heated kiss, it nearly rendered me useless. I lay under him, motionless for a moment, as his mouth moved against mine. The feeling of his tongue against mine made me moan into his mouth, trying to get more of him; desperate for it. 

“YOU’RE INSUFFERABLE!” I kneed him in the gut once I realized what was going on and he fell to the other side of the bed, clutching his side. 

“REALLY? LAST TIME I CHECKED, YOU LOVED IT WHEN MY LIPS WERE ON YOURS!” He shot back before reaching for me again, crashing our lips together. 

This had been weeks worth of build up, the sexual tension between us a tight rubber band ready to snap with any added extra weight. My brain kept screaming at me to push him off and smack him for what he did to me, breaking my fathers camera. 

Yet my soul was thriving. It never felt more alive knowing that Matt was once again staking his claim with his lips, nipping and sucking at the sensitive parts of my body; down my neck and over my collar bone after he yanked down the collar of my shirt. 

Calloused fingers brushed along the thin elastic of my panties, teasing me with his silent question. 

“Take them off,” I demand against his lips, raising my hips off the bed. 

Our clothes gathered together in a heap on the floor and while I lay bare for Matt’s hungry eyes, he remained kneeling on the bed. His cock was red with agitation, desperate for not only some sort of contact but release as well. 

“You’re beautiful, Fairy,” Matt mused while kissing from my navel, up between the valley of my breasts, and left small indentations with his teeth against my neck. 

I left angry red marks down the length of his spine while spreading my legs for him. His fingers gathered my wetness between my folds, pressing small circles against my clit and I sucked in a breath. 

“Already so wet for me? I haven’t even touched you yet,” he chuckled darkly before nipping at my bottom lip. 

I was not about to give Matt the satisfaction in knowing our little play fighting and making out turned me on beyond measure. My body was already on the brink of collapse from our weeks of constant teasing and bickering. I reveled in the way Matt came off rude and brooding, sometimes to me, but also found myself loving how caring and thoughtful he’d been in the beginning.

A finger slipped inside of me and I arched myself off the bed, my breasts brushing against Matt’s chest. 

“You like that?” He cocked his head to the side. “Use your words, fairy. I need to hear what you want.” 

I sunk my nails into his arm, trying to bring him closer. “You, Matthew. Please. I just want you.”

Begging? Really? There goes your dignity.

I didn’t have time to chastise the voice in my mind because Matt let out a growl before rolling me to my stomach and hiking my ass up in the air. The sound of skin on skin echoed in the small hotel room and a breathy moan fell from my lips. 

Matt cursed before leaning over the bed to reach for his suitcase. 

“What are you doing?” I almost whined. 

“Condom,” he muttered while rifling through his bag. “Shit! Of course the one time I don’t pack fucking condoms.”

I saw his eyes flick up to the wall in front of me, most likely to the room next door, and knew he was contemplating asking whoever was rooming next to us for a condom. 

“I have an implant,” I finally said while looking over my shoulder. “And I’m clean.” 

Those eyes shimmered as they rested on my face. “So am I.”

With his cock gripped tight in his hand, Matt lined up at my entrance before slowly pushing himself inside. My head went to fall to the pillows but his hand gathered the teal strands in his palm, yanking my head up. 

“Oh, god,” I moaned when he was fully inside. 

I’d never felt so full before. 

My walls clenched around him, a silent beg for him to move, but Matt remained still. His chest constricted with the breath he’d been holding so I slowly started fucking myself on his cock. 

“Matthew,” I panted. “Please, I need you to move.” 

With one tight grip on my hair and the other on my hip, he let out a strangled breath finally. 

“I won’t last long, fairy. I don’t-.” 

You assured him with a gentle smile. “I won't either. I’m already so close.” 

Knowing that I wouldn’t last long either, Matt let go of the grip on my hair to slide over to my clit, pressing fast circles against the swollen bundle of nerves. His pace was ruthless, fucking in and out of me with such force, the headboard began slamming against the wall. 

I was dizzy with my arousal, it clouding my judgment because I knew that this was only going to be a quick fuck and then we’d go back to bickering. Not accepting what both of us wanted. We could try to ignore how we felt about one another but there was no way I could ignore how perfect he felt inside of me. It was as if we clicked together like a perfect puzzle piece. 

Cliche. But it was true. 

Matt’s broad chest pressed against my back so he could drag his teeth against my spine. “You feel so fucking good. Fuck.” 

All I could do was nod, too blissed out on the way his fingers danced against my clit. My orgasm was so close, teetering on the edge of the cliff, and my body stilled for a moment as I tried to grasp that release. 

“No!” 

I whined when Matt pulled all the way out of me only for him to throw me onto my back and wrap a leg around his back, slipping back inside of me. 

“I want to see your pretty face when you cum,” he grunted while thrusting inside of me. 

I dared a peak down to where I bodies connected as he pulled himself almost all the way out and choked on a moan when I saw his cock glisten in the low light of the room because of our shared arousal. 

“Look at me, Faye.”

My eyes snapped up to his, blown wide with his euphoria and with one final snap of his hips, I cried out my orgasm; eyes never leaving his. 

I writhed underneath him but his fingers never stopped their onslaught on my clit, working me through the violent aftershocks. Matt threw his head back in a silent scream as his cock throbbed inside of me seconds before spilling his release.

His body fell to the bed next to me in a gruff of exhaustion and I lay there for a long moment, staring up at the ceiling; tracing the patterns of the cracks instead of the realization that I should get up to clean myself so I can find someone else to bunk with. 

As I began to slip out from underneath Matt, he threw his tattooed leg over my hips, blocking me from leaving the bed. 

“Where are you going?” He asked, pulling my back to his chest. 

Our skin was sticky with sweat and I felt our cum between my legs but with his grip on me, it was clear Matt didn’t want me to leave. 

“I just thought-,” I pointed to the door. 

He buried his face in my neck, leaving a tender kiss. “I’m not letting you go, Faye. This was never a quick fuck for me. I think this was weeks worth of pent up sexual frustration that turned into something we both wanted; even if we weren’t ready to admit it.” 

I traced over the tattoos on his arm as it lay lazily over my stomach. 

“Sounds like you’ve got a great therapist,” I hummed. 

Matt snorted. “More like a philosopher of a friend.”

We lay together in a mess of tangled limbs for a long moment, basking in the silence. Matt’s breathing became slow and steady, indicating he was seconds away from falling into a deep slumber, one I was desperate to chase. But I couldn’t stop the nagging thought in my mind. 

“So what does this mean for us?” I forced myself to ask. 

“This is a really shitty way of asking you out considering I broke your camera. But what do you say we go out on an official date once we're back home and settled?”

I linked my fingers with Matt’s, bringing his hand to my lips to leave a tender kiss across his knuckles. “I’d love that.”

The tight grip that had been crushing my heart and soul since we started fighting suddenly evaporated into nothing. All I could feel was growing adoration for the man behind me. 

Deep sleep was seconds away from clutching both of us to drag us into the dark depths but before I could succumb, my tired voice called out into the vastness of the room. 

“You owe me a camera, by the way.” 

Matt chuckled while laying a kiss to the side of my head. “Already taken care of, fairy.”

FAYE

“So, how’re things going with Jesse and Tay?” I called over to Matt, who stood in the kitchen in front of his stove. 

“Good!” He called back. “Although, I’m sure you already knew that since she’s your friend.” 

I shrugged, knowing he was right, but then gave him a smile of thanks when he returned into the living room with my cup of tea. 

“We were talking about getting together for a double date this weekend,” I said. 

Matt pressed a chaste kiss to my lips before settling back into the couch next to me. “Whatever you want, fairy.”

We’d been home for a few weeks now from tour and found ourselves settling in pretty quickly to this new relationship. Our first official date was the aquarium with everyone else but I didn’t mind it. I got to know Hollow Souls more and working for them had been an absolute dream. 

I was able to photograph Chase and Malcolms wedding. With the exact make and model of camera that mirrored the one my dad gave me. While it wasn't the exact one, I knew Matt had scoured the internet for days trying to find one so I was extremely grateful for it. 

We’d spent the entire day on Matt’s couch cuddled together under a pile of blankets, more specifically his Greys Anatomy blanket, with all three of his dogs either laying on top of us or next to us. The television had been on a constant rerun of Grey's Anatomy, him finally talking me into watching it with him. My fingers played with the ends of his hair, him opting out on wearing a hat today. I’d been wearing nothing but one of his shirts and a pair of boyshort panites. It had been a pretty hot day in California so Matt decided on wearing just a pair of joggers. We would have been three episodes ahead in our marathon if we hadn’t continuously paused it for our extra activities.

“Oh, shit. I almost forgot. How is Y/N’s and Noah’s redo date going?” I set my empty cup down on the table in front of me. 

Matt snickered while reaching for his phone. “I haven’t heard anything yet. I’m starting to wonder if he backed out on asking-.” 

His voice trailed off as his eyes never left the bright screen of his phone. The words on the current text thread he had open drained all the color from his face. 

“Matthew,” I said tentatively, sitting up on the couch and running a hand over his back. “What is it?” 

He swallowed thickly before running a hand over his face and those broken eyes found mine. “Y/N’s dad died. Her and Noah are flying to Japan tomorrow night.”

[polin-erospsyche]

This post was inspired by a comment from an anon in my ask box. They mentioned that if the Queen hadn’t interrupted Polin's wedding, they could have had a beautiful wedding night (if you’re the anon and you’re reading this, hi! And also, I know this isn't everything, but I'll touch on the rest. Small disclaimer: this got long and I’m sorry).

I agree, that could have happened. But honestly, I'm really glad it didn’t. Don’t get me wrong, I would have loved to see it, but I don’t think it would have been good for them. The intimate scenes we did get tell an overarching story and serve a purpose in the narrative. We’ve been told that these intimate moments are a way for them to communicate, so let’s unpack that.

The first intimate scene is about them discovering each other in a new, intimate way, moving from friendship (which had already started to happen in the carriage) to a lover relationship. This moment is crucial for Penelope's story and character development. From this, she grows in confidence and self-awareness. She expresses this to Colin multiple times, such as when she says, “with the confidence you’ve helped me find this year,” and later, “You’ve taught me to hold my own. You have shown me I’m capable of pleasure beyond imagination.”

From that intimate scene onward, Penelope starts to come into her own power and that includes her sexual power. Colin shows her a level of love and care beyond what she ever thought possible, breaking down the belief system she built around herself. She was ready to sacrifice her dreams of being loved and held for financial stability, a mindset ingrained by Portia. Colin helps her see that this doesn’t have to be the case, chipping away at her long-held beliefs.

Let’s now move to the scene in the alleyway, which links back to anon’s comment. Anon suggests that this is the moment they start repairing their relationship post LW reveal. That following this scene they were in a good enough place to enjoy their wedding night if the Queen hadn’t crashed the party. Yes. And no. 

And oh my god how I’ve longed to discuss this scene but I never quite knew how to approach it. At this point in the show, the narrative is like a tightly wound ball of yarn with so many threads to pull at. So, let’s attempt to pull at them. 

First of all, they’ve entered a whole new playing field. And they’ve entered this playing field while being “the oldest of friends really” so they have ammunition against each other. Pen has hurt Colin by lying (hiding the truth from him time and time again) about her identity. She has let him go on and on about his despise of Lady Whistledown. About his dreams of being an author. These were things he told her in intimacy. Those were things he told his best friend and the person he fell in love with. Not the woman who hides behind her column and has done so much wrong to his family and loved ones. 

There is a separation between the two. For Colin, in that alleyway, there is still just Pen his best friend, Penelope the woman he loves and on the other side of that there is Lady Whistledown, the woman he vowed to destroy. He expresses that when he says “so then you do not need Lady Whistledown anymore”. What he fails to realise at this point, and he cannot be blamed for that, is that Lady Whistledown is an integral part of who Penelope Featherington is as a person. That her alter ego is not just a mask she wears but a crucial aspect of her identity, giving her a sense of power and agency in a world that often limits her as a woman. Something that Pen has slowly come to terms with when she says that she no longer needs to hide behind this alter ego but that does not mean there is no value in it, something that she also explains to him after the Queen has crashed their wedding breakfast. 

Now I say that he cannot be blamed for his refusal of recognizing that they are one and the same because he is still holding onto his misbelief, which is that to be loved and to have a value he must protect what he loves and be useful. Part of that is saving and avenging the people he loves from Whistledown. He has given his word to Eloise, to Marina indirectly, to himself and I’m thinking to Pen silently after what she’s written about herself. He finds himself, due to his misbelief, between a rock and a hard place: “the person he vowed to destroy is, in fact, the person he vowed to protect, and there is no separation between the two” (not me directly quoting myself lol). To this you add all the shame over his writing and his envy of her success and you have a recipe for disaster. 

So essentially, in that alleyway you have Pen who is already well along her character arc and Colin who is still gripping onto his original, unchanged self. This represents a power imbalance. What I love throughout this season, and I might write something about this one day, is that Pen and Colin are never quite on the same level both literally and figuratively. There is always one ahead of the other. This, in the long run, is another recipe for disaster because they are never quite equal. That is UNTIL that butterfly ball when they’ve gone through their character arc respectively. That is the moment they fully come together. They become a unit. They are no longer fighting against each other but with each other and for each other. 

But to arrive to this moment they need to do it separately. They need to be able to work on themselves before they can fully be able to work on their marriage. Genevieve says it well “there is no such thing as true love without first embracing your true self”. For Penelope that is becoming Penelope Bridgerton, an amalgam of the best parts of Whistledown and Penelope Featherington. For Colin that is deconstructing his hero complex and fully believing that he is enough just by being exactly who he is. And that has not happened in that alleyway. Truthfully the surface has barely been scraped in that scene because she essentially shuts down his demons for an instant by saying that she loves him. However, the issues remain. 

So yes, we can speculate all we want. If the Queen had not interrupted their wedding, they might have had a wedding night and they might have had a talk about everything afterward. However, the lack of acceptance of their true selves would have driven them up a wall at the next problem, which was how to handle Cressida.

And I think that is why Polin season is actually so beautiful. It is not just about Polin. It is about marriage and how hard it can get, and how you have to work on yourself to fit around the person you love without sacrificing yourself in the process. It is about choosing each other every day, through the ugly as well as the beautiful, through the hard parts as well as the easy ones. It’s choosing to have faith that you’ll work and figure it out without an assurance that it actually will, but if the love is there, then it just might. That is the story they chose to tell through Penelope and Colin.

First gif made by my bestie @polinsated 💕

[darby-rowe]

PILEDRIVER !

sejanus plinth x fem!District 2!reader summary when you and sejanus get the opportunity to relive your days of amateur backyard wrestling while growing up in district two, things get... well, compromising.

word count 2.5k cw childhood best friends to lovers, the inherent eroticism of wrestling, awkward boner, reader makes the first move, first kiss, cunnilingus, confident sej, p in v, unprotected sex, sej has a big dick, petnames, dirty talk, flexible reader, piledriver position, y/n usage, pulling out, not proofread notes based off of my personal headcanon that district two quickly became filled to the brim with underground fighting/wrestling rings after it was named panem's newest military hotspot after district 13 got its shit obliterated. and i was always obsessed with the idea of a district two character who was heavily involved with these rings, so i decided to "soften" up the idea a little bit by just making reader the type of child who wrestled w/ her family and friends as a little girl. thought this concept was super cute and i hope yall do too! also for anyone who's wondering, sej and reader are supposed to be doing catch wrestling, but i also combined moves from collegiate wrestling and pro wrestling :) so yeah!!

Growing up in District 2, you swiftly grew familiar with back alley tussling as your home district quickly became Panem’s military hotspot after the first rebellion. It seemed as if your entire childhood consisted of backyard amateur wrestling and secret underground fighting rings in which you constantly found yourself getting wound up in.

By the time your family bought themselves a place within the Capitol, you already had a well rounded history of getting broken and bruised by friends, family, and complete strangers. And the thing was that you loved it. You loved stepping inside a poorly made ring and roughin’ it out with your siblings or cousins.

And your parents sure could afford the medical bills after all your broken bones!

So when you were forced to pack up and leave for the Capitol, you were heartbroken to have to transition into a life of high class uppity scumbags – with the exception of your best friend, Sejanus Plinth, whom you felt was your only source of comfort among the sea of self-important snakes.

One late night, Sejanus came to you with bright eyes and grinning lips, eager to show you what he had found. “Oh, and make sure you bring a sports bra, gym shorts, and some good shoes,” he had said before you two went off. Of course you didn’t object to a tiny adventure with your best friend, so you followed him through the quiet streets of the Capitol towards a run-down building that smelled of mold and old rubber. When you stepped inside, your heart swelled with nostalgic joy, and your eyes nearly overflowed with tears.

“Sej,” you gasped as your eyes fell upon the abandoned gym. Sure, it was a fixer-upper, but it was more than perfect for just the two of you. All of the punching bags and weight-racks were right where they were left, but the most important thing in the room were the big circles in the middle of the room.

You looked back at Sejanus with a look of pure gratitude. “How’d you find this place?”

He shrugged his shoulders, his brown doe eyes sparkling with delight. “I may or may not have pulled a few strings,” he teased. God bless Strabo and Ma Plinth, you thought. “Now, enough talk – you up for some old fashioned catch-as-catch-can?”

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

The amount of time this gym must have been abandoned concerned you a bit, making you feel that if you took a big enough breath you’d be a walking incarnate of tuberculosis for the next year. But the two of you didn’t plan on staying long, as trespassing could land you a good few nights in jail. And you and Sejanus being district, that was the last thing you two needed to be added to your permanent records.

You made sure to stretch your body, making sure all your muscles were warmed up deeply before locking up with Sejanus. And him, with his big strong arms, you realized that your body was the only thing warmed up tonight.

“I’m a lover, not a fighter,” Sejanus teased, wounding up his arms in large circles. “I’ll make sure to go easy on you, darling,”

“You think I can’t take you down, big boy?” you challenged, cracking your neck and knuckles. “I’ve done it before, remember?”

“Yeah, when we were five,” Sejanus countered, adding a small chuckle to his words.

There wasn’t a referee, nor a bell or a whistle, so you two shook hands and squatted down as you circled each other. The fingers of your hands slightly ghosted each other, teasing each other at the same time of who was going to grapple who first. The two of you then locked up in a collar and elbow tie-up, your hand grasping the back of his neck as you pulled him in for a standing headlock. You tightly secured Sejanus’s head into the pocket of your forearm as his hands felt around your waist. His strength overtook yours as he pushed himself out of the lock, and you couldn’t help yourself but lightly gasp as he pulls in for a standing headlock of his own and takes you down to the ground with a takeover. The feeling of your body flipping forwards onto your back makes you dizzy for just a second, opening your eyes to see Sejanus’s smiling face looking down straight at you.

“Thought you were gonna go easy on me,” you teased, panting from the combination of sudden movements.

Sejanus still has his arms wrapped around your head, also panting. “Change of heart, I guess,”

You huffed out a puff of air out of your mouth in a chuckle. “What a gentleman,” you locked your hands around his torso and pushed yourself into a bridge, using your strength to roll him over onto his stomach to lay him out prone. You let out embarrassingly loud grunts of effort as Sejanus was larger than you, which made him start laughing as you now laid over his body, hands still wrapped around him. “Shut up, Sej,”

“What? It’s cute,” he responded from under you.

You slowly released your hands from around his already clammy torso and stood back up on your feet, stretching your body once more to prepare for round two. “You didn’t even pin me,” Sejanus said with a tinge of confusion in his voice.

“It’s not like we’re actually doing a match together,” you told him. “What? You wanna do one for real this time?”

Sejanus twisted his body at the waist, knocking out all the kinks in his muscles. “I thought we were doing it for real?”

“Well now we can, grizzly bear,” your voice was almost a purr as you stretched out your arms at the ready. Grizzly bear? The nickname confused him, so you took the momentary distraction to two-step into a double-leg takedown. When he was on his back, you flipped your body over in a jackknife pin, but the sheer swiftness of Sejanus betrayed you.

Sejanus used the strength of his legs to roll you onto the backs of your shoulders, your arms pinned down by his legs, and knees hooked on his shoulders. You were unable to kick out by the time the three seconds were up.

“Nice,” you commented, panting as you looked up at his sweaty face from your compromising position.

“Should say the same to you,” he responded, letting you roll yourself backwards onto your knees. “Another round, darling?”

You got up onto your feet, but before you could agree to another round, you found yourself being tackled onto the ground below and folded in half. Sejanus had your arms pinned down over your head, and your knees were basically parallel with your cheeks.

And you felt the unmistakable feeling of Sejanus’s hard erection pressed against your ass.

Sejanus had you pinned down for more than the 3-second count, and he still hadn’t let you go. You blushed, eyes scanning over his sweaty form dominating over you. What do you even say in a situation like this?

You always thought Sejanus was cute. You watched him grow up alongside you and turn into an extremely handsome young man. He grew into his muscular stature, his brown curls became more defined, his brown doe eyes only grew dreamier.

And now here you were, folded in half like a damn pretzel, and he was hard.

“You’re, um…” you wet your lips awkwardly. “You–... you’re hard, Sej,”

You felt guilt well up inside your chest as Sejanus’s face seemed to drop with embarrassment. Fuck, now you felt like an asshole. “Oh… oh, Y/N, I’m so sorry–”

“Hey, hey, no,” you cooed, trying to put his worries at ease. You reached up and brushed a stray curl from his sweaty face. “No apologies, Sej. Don’t worry,”

Sejanus crawled away from on top of you, letting your body unfold itself, giving your ribcage and your other internal organs a break. You pulled yourself up into a sitting position where Sejanus had one knee folded up towards his chest and his other leg flat on the dusty wrestling mat.

You sat there in silence, thinking of what your next move could possibly be. Should you apologize for pointing out Sejanus’s erection? It seemed as if no matter what you chose to say, it was only going to make the situation worse.

So instead, you said fuck it, and chose not to say anything at all as you grabbed Sejanus’s face and pulled him in for a kiss. You felt his big hands find purchase on your shoulders, as if the initial shock was going to make him fall over.

The taste of his plump, warm lips slotting themselves against yours sent goosebumps down your back, and when you pulled away for a breather, only a few words were exchanged before you two went back at it.

“Are you sure?” Sejanus mumbled against your lips.

“Please,” you whispered. And that was all that needed to be said.

It didn’t take long before you had Sejanus trailing open-mouthed kisses down your stomach and down towards the waistline of your shorts, hooking his fingers beneath the waistband and pulling them down to reveal your plain, cotton panties. Even in the darkness of the abandoned gym, he could still pinpoint the dark spot of your wetness, teasingly circling his thumb on the area. You inhaled sharply. You were already so sensitive. You blamed it on the previous exertion of energy you shared with Sejanus and, well, also the fact that Sejanus’s face was mere inches away from your pussy.

He swiftly pulled off your panties and leaned down to deliver one kitten lick to your clit, making you gasp softly. You could tell that your reaction made the boy smirk, adding to his confidence.

In a matter of seconds you were reduced to a mewling, moaning mess as the curly-haired boy devoured your clit – licking, sucking, slurping up your juices like a man who had been starving for days. The sheer sound of Sejanus’s mouth sucking at your pussy made you blush, and admittedly, you were even a little embarrassed at how wet you were.

You whined at the feeling of his mouth’s absence from your pussy, only to feel his hand lightly grab your face to force you to look at him.

“Wanna see your pretty face, please?” he cooed, and you nodded obediently, earning you his mouth back on your swollen clit. You cried out with delight, placing both of your hands on your breasts and squeezing them.

“So good…” you mewled, your legs beginning to squirm from your increasing pleasure. The knot in your stomach neared its unraveling, until you were once again folded in half, your pussy hovering above you at a near 90-degree angle.

Sejanus’s mouth never left your clit as he lifted your body over itself. Your fingernails dug deep into the mat, your eyes focused solely on Sejanus’s mouth and tongue on your lips and bud. But before you could finally arrive at your orgasm, he stopped abruptly.

You pouted pathetically up at him, whimpering. “Sej,”

He reached a hand down to softly caress the side of your face, his thumb tracing circles on your flushed cheeks. You could see the way his wet mouth shined in the dim light of the gym, licking his lips to taste the remnants of your essence.

“I wanna fuck you so bad, baby,” The way Sejanus was practically begging you had your stomach doing backflips. “Please? Please?”

In what world would you ever say no?

You pawed at Sejanus’s big arms as you nodded up at him, mumbling phrases like, “Please fuck me,” and “Want you inside me, baby,”

Your mouth watered as he freed his hard cock from his shorts, eyes widening at how big he was. Sejanus most likely caught on to your worried face as he quickly made sure to ease your worries. “I’ll be gentle, darling, don’t worry,” he murmured, slipping his cock in between your wet pussy lips. You gasped at his teasing, biting your lip as the tip of his cock pushed against your clit so well. “Breathe, baby,” he sighed, positioning the head of his dick at your tight, wet entrance and slowly lowering himself into you.

You inhaled sharply as the thickness of his cock stretched you open, the two of you groaning simultaneously at the new sensations. Sejanus was slow and cautious at first, but you could tell he wanted so badly to thrust himself inside of you and pound into the mat.

“So big…” you whispered, earning another low groan from the boy above you. When your walls finally stopped resisting against his size, Sejanus began to slowly lift himself up and back down inside you, earning beautiful melodic moans from your mouth.

You hooked your arms around your legs to keep you in this rather compromising position, but the way the curly-haired boy looked two seconds away from pistoning his cock inside you had you salivating. You looked up at him, batting your eyelashes and mumbling how good he felt, how big he was, how pretty he looked. You relished in the sight of him blushing at your dirty praises.

Sejanus’s hands found their place on your thighs to help him quicken his thrusts, and the faster he moved inside you, the louder your moans became. You felt his balls slap against your ass, the skin of his thighs colliding with yours, and his moans – ugh, his moans – you couldn’t get enough of his sounds of pure ecstasy.

“Your pussy feels so good,” he panted, looking down at your blissed out face. And for a moment, you two smiled at each other, just happy to be in this moment together.

Your hands reached up to grab at his forearms as you felt the knot in your stomach near its unraveling once more. “Gonna cum, baby,” you moaned. “Gonna cum all over your cock,”

Sejanus expedited the arrival of your orgasm by taking his thumb and circling your clit, and in a matter of moments you were crying and babbling your way as your walls tightened and pulsated around his dick. The sheer explosion of pleasure had you seeing spots behind your eyelids, gritting your teeth and growling as the boy above you didn’t slow down his thrusts.

As your high came down, Sejanus’s high was approaching as he quickly lifted himself out of you and swiftly started stroking his cock until he was spurting thick, white ropes all over your pussy. You closed your eyes dreamily as you listened to the beautiful sounds of his groans as his cock shot out large amounts of cum all over you.

You unfolded your body and brought your hand up to your chest to feel your heartbeat, breathing heavily as the intensity of your activities wound down. You felt Sejanus lay his large body on top of you, and you instinctively wrapped your arms around him and held him close, kissing the top of his head.

And in a last ditch effort to be the comedian of the moment, Sejanus said one last thing before the two of you cleaned yourselves up and headed home.

“Good hustle,” he mumbled, earning a wheeze from you and a tiny slap to his bicep.

“Shut the fuck up, Sej,”

tagging @spideyhexx — a late bday gift from me to you. ♡

dividers by cafekitsune

[lizzy06]

Tenya Iida x Reader Fic Recs!! (Tumblr/Ao3/Wattpad)

My Hero Academia Fic Rec Masterlist

An Unintended Match ✨by dairyair (fake dating, stranger to friends to lovers, fluff, eventual smut)“I have been informed that you have foresworn your life of crime in order to prevent loss of life. That is admirable, and may I be the first to congratulate you on turning over a new leaf.” [COMPLETED]

The Prince ✨ by ScatteredScribbles/ @bnhascribbles (oneshot, prince! Iida, tutor! reader, royalty au)You should’ve expected that this conversation would happen eventually. You can’t pretend you hadn’t noticed the way Iida stole glances at you over the edge of his book when he thought you weren’t watching. The worst part was…you’d caught yourself doing those very same things.[COMPLETED]

Songfic: Iida Tenya x F!Reader - Crave You  ✨by @flannel-cladpika (oneshot, fluff, slight angst)It was official. You were permanently friend-zoned by the one person you actually had feelings for.[COMPLETED]

BNHA Soulmate AU Week Day 3: Blue Eyes by @writing-freak (oneshot, soulmate au, fluff)you are obsessed with the color blue, and spend your life dedicated to the things the beautiful color produces. only problem? you’ve never been able to see it.[COMPLETED]

This piece of you by @sleeplessdreamer14 (oneshot, fluff) you left your jacket in iida’s room.[COMPLETED]

The Baby Curse ✨ by Bonkers4hatter(oneshot, fluff, pregnancy, chubby! insecure reader, slight angst)With a family filled with boys, Iida dubbed it "the baby curse". You always thought it was a bit ridiculous, but when you start to consider kids of your own, Iida's little "curse" crosses your mind.[COMPLETED]

The Class Representatives ✨ by mooncandi(oneshot, fluff, humor)5 times your classmates could've found out about your relationship, the one time they did.[COMPLETED]

Her [ Iida Tenya + Reader ] by iiAnon (oneshot, fluff, angst)Tenya is pining hard for reader. Sweet and fluffy! <3[COMPLETED]

Love Letters  ✨by lyrical_panic(oneshot, fluff, love letters, secret admirer) Tenya Iida has an ordinary, routine life. There's nothing out of the ordinary, ever. Until one day when a anonymous love letter finds its way underneath his door, and his whole world turns upside down. Determined to find the author, he conducts a little investigation, leading him to none other but you.[COMPLETED]

Study Date ✨ by levithestripper(oneshot, fluff, crushes, humor)Tenya has always been quite confident in himself and in his appearance, not normally being overly nervous around people or shy. Yet you were different. If he wasn’t constantly fixing his hair before, he sure is now.[COMPLETED]

Birthday Kisses by goldxnapplxs (oneshot, fluff)Using a quirk that allows you to phase through objects, you sneak into the boys dorm to wish your favorite class representative a happy birthday.[COMPLETED]

Providentia by SongsOfAdelaide (oneshot, soulmates au, childhood friends to lovers) meaning The ability to see something in advance; foresight, foreknowledge./Precaution, providence, forethought.[COMPLETED]

i adore you. by TheBestParkBenchYouveEverSeen (oneshot, fluff, hurt/comfort)you have a BAAADDD migraine, iida trys to help.[COMPLETED]

Graduation Party by nek0zawakun(oneshot, fluff, humor) “I kissed you, because I wanted to.” She finally breathed out. His grip tightened. “We don’t always get what we want.” He responded seriously. “But I will,”[COMPLETED]

The Possibility of Rain or Shine by SongsOfAdelaide(oneshot, strangers to lovers, fluff, alternate au) In which you try hard not to fall in love with a potential business partner who may actually be married.[COMPLETED]

In Which Iida Treats A Date Like Everything Else by kawaiicthulhu (oneshot, fluff)"He had printed an itinerary for your date."[COMPLETED]

Broken Glass ✨ ✨ by Anonymous(oneshot, fluff, humor)In a quirk-related accident you find yourself surrounded by shattered glass. Worst of all, most of that glass is from every single pair of your boyfriend’s glasses. What will you do? Just some silly fluff.[COMPLETED]

The Duke's Son and the Viscount's Daughter by btp (oneshot, historical au, fluff, slight angst)When you attend a ball, a certain man catches your eye. Things seem to be going well until an announcement changes everything.[COMPLETED]

Courtship & Heartbreak in Alryne by @bakugotrashpanda (oneshot, victorian au, angst)[COMPLETED]

Soulmate au by @captainsolare (oneshot, soulmate au, fluff)You have each other’s initials on your wrists, they glow when they are held up and shown to your soulmate.[COMPLETED]

Arranged love by @wonderwomanfantasy (oneshot, royalty au, arranged marriage)ever since you were a child you were in love with the idea of love, red roses, and romantic poems, too bad you were sold off into marriage before you could find that kind of love. But is it really too late? after all what is more romantic than a Masquerade ball?[COMPLETED]

Quirk Marriage by @swigglesandwiggles (oneshot, angst, arranged marriage)What happens when a quirk marriage is arranged between two students and both have two very different reactions towards it?[COMPLETED]

[gege-wondering-around]

can i just say that Elizabeth and Darcy from Pride and Prejudice are the old school version of Stiles and Derek?

Cause i will shout this from my balcony till it breaks beneath me!

Stiles (Elizabeth or if you want, 'lizzy') not giving a flying f about Derek (Darcy) cause this rich dude has no care for others and just runs on raw pride, which lead all his decisions. Which ultimately makes him look like the worst man on earth to Stiles' eyes, which is why he stays away from Derek.

But then, solitary man Derek will start to fall in love with this intelligent and fine creature (stiles) because he couldn't be more difficult to get!

Stiles doesn't care about society, stiles is sharp and of an intellectual awareness that defy every man in search of the tipycal silly type to ask for marriage, and Derek cannot stress himself enough about this sweet, pretty thing dancing around at balls and answering rudeness with politeness mixed with the most sublime undertone of confidence and assertiveness.

cause stiles doesn't care about money or status, stiles cares about marrying someone he truly loves and when he realized derek did love him, he felt sooooo ashamed of how judgemental he had been of this poor man who just wanted his hand! because derek loved him enough to forgive stiles for his harsh words towards him (cause stiles thought of him as a bad individual and spoke of it to him) from the past and was then a more genuine version of himself.

And as Derek and Stiles tangle their lives together because of friends and family, they end up as the most tight knot that will not be undone! especially after derek hear about stiles' high chin and firm words of 'i may not be engaged to him now, but fear i may will' that he spoke to Derek's aunt when she went to stiles to disagree of their possibile engagement

and what did stiles do?

respond to the rudeness of this lady with the sharpest and most confidence tone of 'we will choose for ourselves' which, when derek heard about this, made him go so out of his path to get stiles.

because they didn't know each other, then they did, and they fell in love. and they weren't going to NOT act on it.

(summary: enemies to lovers. which is now my new obsession- yes, i never invested into enemies to lovers, but now i might do some digging)

I'm gonna write a retelling of this so bad.

imagine.

this kind of pretty stiles (with a sharp tongue and pretty look that defy how his mind actually thinks and hides how much 'intellectual power' he has since, for the time the story it's set in, lizzy is an unusual brave woman who would rather marry the poor guy, love of her life over the rich, cold man with money)

pretty because lizzy is viewed as a very pretty women who is recognized as such in society (which dancy then calls 'the most beautiful women I've even seen in my entire life' after someone says she's not even that pretty)

who's personality can go from this ⬇️

yk, funny, outgoing, polite (sort of) and overall a wonderful presence to have conversations with and engage in sharing opinions and dance with during balls (in which her figure is gracefully dancing and all the other stuff i dont remember)

to this ⬇️

a wonderful undertone of 'f you with respect' and 'who do you think you are', who will also be able to undo you in 30 seconds in a verbal battle cause he has the intelligence and intellectual knowledge to do so and WILL do so without much regards for consequences cause he'll do so in a way that will makes it unable for you to bite back cause you'll end up the one being labeled as rude.

pared with

this angry looking fool, who looks more arrogant than anything most of the day, to most people (and even those who knows him talk very little of his doings, because he hides his true emotions and intentions. and despite pride being his fuel, he's still a caring man who is not talk about much if not for his money = they talk about his fortune and not the values he has, despite the sort of 'contorted' way in which everything is based on pride)

(which could also be older, but who know what I'll end up choosing when i write this - because yes, i love older men ⬇️)

who, ultimately, will look at stiles like this⬇️

because 'damn, you are the only person i want by my side for the rest of my life' and he wont be able to move his gaze elsewhere cause despite being an a-hole to stiles for the major part of theirshared time, he was still able to redeem himself by showing his kindness and actually gets stiles.

while stiles is like

because after pulling up the bad facade of 'i dont give a f about you cause i think you are rude', he felt ashamed when he found he was wrong about him but then darcy (derek) forgives him and he can't hold his feelings anymore and just shows everything through his eyes and the soft laughter he lets out when they talk cause he has still to process how much these two are gonna love each other (this, before they are engaged)

so.

I'll buy the book (cause i read a school fitted version of it), annotate things, write down some coherent line of plot and one day, I'll write everything down.

till then, I'll scream about this from my balcony, thanks for have come to this sort of tedtalk.

and this is for you, my sweet @dontcallpanic, i hope you'll like my little gift as I'm still working, rather slowly, on my replies for you 🩵🫂

[mr888sworld]

Venus through the zodiac signs Aries-Pisces! ♈︎-♓︎ how do you show love & affection? @mr888sworld

Venus in astrology rules over our love language, our style physically! & what we could be attracted to! It could rule over your physical beauty & appearance! It could rule our partnerships/situationships/relationships!

Aries Venus ♈︎

Quick to fall in love/quick to fall out of love as well 😂

Dominant in relationships/wont settle for anyone or anything!

Easily influenced by their emotions in love!

Your style could be bold & flamboyant! / strong bodies!

Doesn’t play about their partners!

Tall!/flirtatious!

Doesn’t linger on love for too long/overemotional over love

Courageous!

Could attract athletic partners/dominate partners

Drawn to red clothing

You are attracted to strong female energies/strong women/confident people/

Could attract partners who are hot-heads 😂

Ex. I knew this person who was an Aries Venus bruh! They couldn’t stay in a relationship! They was promiscuous bruh smh

Taurus Venus ♉︎

Extremely sensual & stable!

Extremely comfortable when it comes to love!

Attracts stable & financially independent lovers

Sensual appearance!

Soft look to them

Green is an excellent aesthetic for you.

Very stubborn in partnerships

Extremely possessive in love

Petite figure for the women/lanky figure for the men

Thrives in security & comfort

Could tend to splurge!

Could attract a partner who is obsessed over them/possessive

You tend to dress sensual/secure//stubble

Gemini Venus ♊︎

Quick to enter into a relationship/quick to become bored smh

Needs constant stimulation more than affection!

Easily influenced/provoked

Extremely smart! Witty!

Lanky body!

Could be bi-polar in love

Might swing both ways 😂

Attracted to intelligent/informed/individuals!

Could attract lovers who are multifaceted

Could be a cheater! Or could attract a cheater

You could dabble in everything for the way you dress! Attracted to yellow!

Youthful appearance!

Cancer Venus ♋︎

Extremely emotionally intelligent

Soft features/ the breast area might be significantly enhanced for the women.

Loves hard/ genuine

Extremely psychic

Your style could be extremely feminine/pink &. Light blue colors

Will be hung up over an ex

Prone to being emotionally manipulative

Lucky in love !

Could attract partners who are mommas boys or daddies girls

Usually y’all become a mom/dad figure to your friends/family/lovers

Petite build for the women/average height for men

Extremely emotional & soft!

Shouldn’t be played with emotionally

Leo Venus ♌︎

Extremely possessive

Extremely fiery & feisty

Loyal to a fault

Prone to cheating if they aren’t getting validation

Dresses to impress (looks good in orange /red/gold! Bold colors

Is not afraid to show their partners off!

Generous at times!

Could attract narcissists partners or partners who have a large ego!

Extremely fashionable

Very stunning ( looks as if the sun is shining on them )

Blunt and direct approach to love/friendship’s/partnerships

Knows what they want & won’t settle either

Prone to being involved in relationship drama

Could lie a lot

Craves attention! & a partner who isn’t afraid to show them off to the world!

Could be self-absorbed

Knows who they want and when they want it

Virgo Venus ♍︎

Hardest to love/give affection

Known for being picky in love/ but I believe we just know what we want in love.

Will build with you/cater to you

Has a very complex sense of style!

Refined attitude towards love

Looks really good in sophisticated outfits

Could attract nit-picky partners

Youthful appearance due to mercury

Craves stimulation & structure

Never really satisfied at times

Amazing bone structure

Craves routine

Interested in partners who remember the little details

Won’t settle for just anyone

Prioritizes cleanliness & discipline

Great detectives 🕵️

Won’t chase you/easily turned off

Libra Venus ♎︎

Easily influenced in love

Hopeless romantic / sacrificial with love

Could be a people pleaser at times

Comfortable with the idea of love

Jumps from relationship to relationship

Easily in love/could date for fun

Could be emotionally manipulative

Stunning ( heart shaped face/ proportional figure

Could attract needy partners

Prone to cheating due to the indecision

Dresses really aesthetic ( pink benefits you)

Valentine’s Day could be a favorite of yours

You Give love wholeheartedly

You attract partners who are involved in the justice system or people who fight for others

You attract attractive partners/others could be jealous of you for that

Be wary of indecisive partners

Drawn to beauty/self care/comfort/love

Could be naive at times

Scorpio Venus ♏︎

Feels misunderstood in love/yearns for a close soul bond / but to private to open up at times

Attracted to people who are interested in beyond the surface level topics

Will read you romantically

MOST LOYAL VENUS

Could get themselves into taboo territory

Prone to having psychic dreams about your partner

Most manipulative Venus placement😂

Has a dark aesthetic/looks good in black/bold colors

Usually gets their partners into astrology

Mistrustful in love/craves truth in love

Scared of being exposed at times

You attract very Plutonic energy! Taboo people/partners who need healing

Having this placement could mean you are extremely karmic

You are a healer/occultist/astrologist

Doesn’t play the games about your partner!!!!

Not easy to manipulate (will see through u)

Craves ALL OR NOTHING KIND OF LOVING!

Sagittarius Venus ♐︎

Very adventurous in terms of love/craves freedom & individuality.

Could swing both ways 😂

Prone to cheating if bored

Very philosophical in love

Attracted to intelligence/philosophy

Very lucky when it comes to their love life

Craves stimulation!

Does not like restrictions/ wants to travel with their partner

Hard to tie down

Attracted to international people(accents)

Your partner could be from a different part of the world/culture/religion

Could have a partner who teaches you

Brutally honest with the way you feel

You have a larger than life style! Red/purple fit you well. Drawn to being the life of the party

Your partner could be outgoing/extremely honest

You could be tall/large smile/ unforgettable laugh

Capricorn Venus ♑︎

Drawn to business oriented people/partners

Craves money!

You could go for older people

Extremely mature when it comes to love

Drawn to boss minded individuals

Refined sense of style

You attract partners who are older than you/more successful than you

Easily turned off

You have excellent bone structure when it comes to your appearance (tall figure)

Could attract a lot of sugar daddies/mommas

You could make $ directly through your partner or situationship

Drawn to being with the CEO or boss of the company

Could potentially be caught in a scandal with the manager

Could come access extremely karmic partners/exes/ due to Saturn being here

Will transform for the better after being with their lovers / Saturn

Love life might take longer to manifest due to Saturn/but it will be worth it

Extremely patient in love

Looks older/mature/put together

Aquarius Venus ♒︎

Attracted to weird/quirky individuals

Does not mind standing out

Freedom loving/craves stimulation

Prone to cheating or leaving if they aren’t being satisfied mentally

Very humble Venus placement

Attracted to individuals who better humanity & our world

Your style could be extremely eccentric & original

You need that mental understanding with your partner

Could date your friends ( 11th house)

Love life could take longer to manifest ( Saturn)

Rebellious towards restrictions in love

Tall figure/ you look different than most/ unique appearance

Drawn to intelligent/outside of the box individuals

Non-conformist

Could swing both ways 😂

Pisces Venus ♓︎

Craves spiritual partners/lovers who accept them for their faults

Usually you attract artistic lovers( singers, painters etc)

You are born with a creative talent yourself

You love the idea of love

Naive when it comes to your love life

Could be delusional at times surrounding love

Extremely psychic

Craves an intuitive connection with someone

Soft appearance/ the eyes are significant ( dough eyes)

You attract lovers who need healing in some way( you are karmic )

Sacrifices for love/ sensual lover

Loves hard/easily heartbroken

Usually confused with what they actually want

Prone to being a fantasist

Your style & aesthetic could be androgynous/spiritual/otherworldly.

Your lovers pets could love you!

Soft facial features /men & women

Most compassionate Venus placement

That’s all folks 💪🏿💪🏿💪🏿💪🏿

Follow me if you agree with my observations! Obviously I’m forever the student with astrology/spirituality in itself. Thanks for the follows I have been getting 💪🏿🧿

As always protect your energy gang. And stay safe out there 🧿

[moooncats]

✿ Astrology Observations ✿

✿ Through the eye's of a Virgo 🧿 ✿

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✿ Sun in Aries ✿

Funny, Confident, Fighter lmaoo (don't talk ish about anyone they consider family cause they'll knuck and buck in 2.5 seconds bwahaha), Attractive!!! 🔥🔥 Aries are usually loud/opinionated and have this lets live life like its the last day we're alive. They are usually the ones who will dance like theres nobody watching hahah very tik tok star vibes. Go go go energy. You guys love to travel! ✈️ Its giving me Carmen Sandiego Vibes. ʕ￫ᴥ￩ʔ

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✿ Sun in Leo ✿

Popular (Irl & Online), Funny af never met a leo that wasn't good at jokes. Great hair/makeup/style 💅 oh and music taste gives me hype in the club vibes. Creative! Never met a leo that didnt dabble in the arts. Ya'll really love to spoil your love ones and friends and as a virgo I appreciate you! Seriously so sweet and caring. Gift giving is most likely your love language. (✿◠‿◠)♡ I would also like to add SOOO good at making food/pastries like this one leo friend I had would make flipping macarons in hs and they were BUSSIN BUSSIN. I also know its super hard to make them? Like sheeesh your creativity never fails to make a presence! Keep it up my lovely leos! ♡

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✿ Sun in Capricorn ✿

2-3 jobs lmfaoooo, boujee, yall are secretly freaky af!!! Most capricorns I know have only fans on the side yall aint fooling no one with that good girl fascade hehe do you tho! Make that money puuur. 💰💋 Homebodies unless they're out with their lover yall settle down QUICKKK bwahah. 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 It's giving me I'm busy at work and I'll get to you when I get to you vibes. 🫡 Also lets not forget most Capricorns I know are lowkey know it alls! Lmfao yall try to hide it but your expression gives it all away. There was this Capricorn that I could never beat at Skip Bo (a card game) she really knew the in's and out's of all numbers. ʕ￫ᴥ￩ʔ So quirky!

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✿ Sun in Taurus ✿

Grounded, Stable, FOODIES. If they cook or share food with you they really fucks with you. Can be stubborn but I think it's awesome they just know what they like and its usually of ✨️ higher taste✨️. IYKYK. Lover of art but usually natural art or anything natural. Anything to do with the 5 senses they are IN THERE LIKE SWIMWEAR. Homebodies af. Sleep is their go to de stresser with eating, skin care, spas, hikes, anything nature that looks beautiful lmao it's giving me ethereal fairy vibes. (๑ > ᴗ < ๑)

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✿ Sun in Scorpio ✿

Always needs to be the coolest person in the room, secretly wants to be loved but has high AF standards lol. Usually has lots of piercings/tattoos they LOVE to color their hair lmao. Probably can be the spoke person for Manic Panic or any other hair dye company. Scorpios can drag someone to filth and it always makes me laugh cause they're straight up and to the point with it. They don't just spend their time with anybody they're picky af. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Most scorpios I know are in the LGBTQ community. It's giving me I know I'm the prize and I'm cool as shit vibes. ʕ⊙ᴥ⊙ʔ

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✿ Sun in Cancer ✿

Loves to match vibes with people, usually quiet unless they feel comfortable with the energy, good afff music taste deadass I can play any song from my random playlist and they'll know it word for word haha. That's about it tho- sorry I don't really know much about cancers personally. It's giving me- very nice and formal vibes & will understand the assignment (can be loud/chill/outgoing/whatever you want them to be) vibes. 🦀🦎 Chameleon.

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✿ Sun in Aquarius ✿

Eccentric AF in a good way bwahaha ʕ⊙ᴥ⊙ʔ, very IDGAF energy we loveee, caring they only bad mouth people who have wronged them in a bad way other than that- they usually can see both sides of a situation yall give good advice, very humanitarian vibes. Aqua's also are so good at technology! Leave it to an Aqua to find information on ANYONE on the internet they keep receipts also lmfao. Most Aquas I know are apart of the LGBTQ community. 🏳️‍🌈 It's giving me Alien hacker/detective vibes. 👽 Also side note, every aqua I know eats this one thing thats soooo random for ex one of my besties, eats pizza with no cheese just sauce and veggies lol. Random af I love it.

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✿ Sun in Pisces ✿

Never met a pisces who didn't sing lmao! Come thru vocals (you're going to hollywood!). Yall usually draw too or do poetry/sew/paint anything artistic. ╰( ▪‿▪)╮ Yooo I noticed yall always have drug addictions too tho. I honestly think that's why your head be up in the clouds/ lost in the sea void 24/7 😆 Quick Tip: Did you know that when you're under the influence things just hit harder? So why be in that toxic relationship/situation and intensify your emotions when you know it'll be harder to come back from it as a water sign... ahhh. Lemme give you a hug you'll get through this! 🫂 It's giving me XXXTentacion Vibes (listen to his lyrics you'll get the vibes yuh). 💀 Seriously Pisces lemme give you another hug. 🫂 I'm rooting for you, you'll get out of the haze surely enough.

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✿ Sun in Libra ✿

Boujeeeeee!! Never met a libra that didn't dress nice af. Usually uniquely too. Hair game is always on fleek. Yall love to play devils advocate though. I don't think I've ever had any libra talk bad about anyone they were friends with they're loyal and good vibes. Libra's can also be sooo funny!╰(◕ᗜ◕)╯ They love to make everyone feel included so they will play the part to make sure people aren't left out. It's giving me Actor vibes. Also most libra's I know smoke mary jane 🍁 and are on top with their workout routine. Lmfao munchies who??¿ Also Libra's are a lover of beauty never seen a libra date someone who wasnt aesthetically pleasing to the 👁🖼. It's giving me main character/actor Vibes.

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✿ Sun in Gemini ✿

SMARTTTT. Yall know so much in that head of yours. Seriously never had a boring conversation ever with a gemini, great story tellers as well! So effing creative, If you really get to know a Gemini you'll find that they're so good at every flipping hobby like I honestly feel like their mind is hardwired differently from most people. Also very friendly and CHILL. (ﾉ≧ڡ≦) It's giving me, Golden retriever vibes! 🐕

(Sorry reached the gif limit but picture a cute fluffy doggie! Nyaaa! (: )

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✿ Sun in Saggitarius ✿

VERY ACTIVE/OUTDOORSY but accident prone bwahaha! Why are yall always in the damn hospital or sick? 😅 (ᓀ‸ᓂ) Be careful while skating/doing sports/LIVING damn. GOOFFFYYYYYY. Yall have jokes for days lmao. You know so much about philosophy and other topics its refreshing to have deep non surface conversations with you. As a virgo it's giving me if I was stuck on an island I would survive and probably understand the hidden meaning of life in a fever dream I had from eating poisonous berries vibes. 😆🫐

(Sorry reached the gif limit but imagine a cute wandering explorer not caged down by society! ╰( ▪‿▪)╮ Yuhh)

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✿ Sun in Virgo ✿

Wallflowers.(๑･◡･) We love to observe everyone/everything while also making sure we look the part. We can deadass find anything that's lost. 🔍 Lover of art as well, we love anything to do with the aestethics. Book worms 🐛haha, also we always have one thing/hobby that were really in to that we focus on almost 24/7 in a weird obssesive way. This can be good and bad. Good if its a hobby, bad if its a person RIP. Most virgos I know are popular and chill gives me grounded vibes. It's giving me I'm okay with being a side character unless you want me to be the main character then I'll pop off vibes.

(Sorry ran out of gifs but imagine a hermit who was idulging in books and anything that could make them better themselves as a person ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ)

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✿ Mahalo for reading my 2nd ever tumblr post! How exciting. Hope you all enjoyed this, it was really fun to articulate my feelings as a Virgo sun. Who knows, maybe I'll make more astrology observations hehe. Till then, take care my beautiful earth angels! Moooncats out. (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) ✿

[veritas-scribblings]

date - @jegulus-microfic - words: 709

[wrote this late at night | can't stop thinking about turning it into something a bit longer, because the concept intrigues me]

Regulus Black isn’t what James expected. And that’s a problem.

DCI Crouch had prepared James well. James could tell you Regulus Black’s birthday, where he was born, the school he went to, the friends he kept there (Barty Crouch Junior, DCI Crouch’s only son, ironically), the school subjects he took, the grades he got, the course he’s studying, what time his classes are, what his hobbies are, which lovers he’s been connected to.

He knows that Regulus Black wakes up at 6 o’clock every morning and goes for a run. He knows that Regulus Black drinks espressos and doesn’t have any sugar in his tea. He knows that Regulus Black is allergic to shellfish, wears cashmere jumpers, loves football, doesn’t drive a car for whatever reason.

In fact, if James wanted, he could probably also find out what positions Regulus Black enjoys in bed, his kinks, how recently he’s been tested for STIs and the last time he had a blood test.

He meets Regulus Black for the first time at a function where he’s posing as a Fund Manager for Greengrass firm. It is there, at the Greengrass Manor, when James sees Regulus Black in person for the first time and learns that…well, Regulus Black is fit. He’s more than fit. He’s beautiful. James knows that from the photos he’d looked at when studying him. He had very much been prepared for that. He just hadn’t been prepared for the fact that Regulus Black is so much lovelier in person. There’s a crispness to him. An elegance. 

James has watched him all night. He speaks clearly, confidently, eloquently. There’s something reserved and a little bit stand-offish about him, a little bit holier-than-thou and James loves it. Regulus Black radiates class, cleverness, intelligence. He’s refined in that ‘upper-class, wealthy, nobility’ kind of way. 

And now James is conflicted. He’s worried, because he needs to keep a level head about all of this. Because he’s been tasked with ‘getting close to Regulus Black’, which he knows is code for ‘seducing Regulus Black’ to find out what he can about the Black family’s involvement in investment fraud and whether Regulus Black or his family are connected to the murders of the Prewett brothers.

But there’s something about Regulus that is so very alluring. Something that says to James, ‘Yes, I’m probably very capable of murder,’ while simultaneously saying, ‘Isn’t that so very, very sexy?’ 

And James agrees. It is so very, very sexy. Looking at the silver rings on Regulus’s slender fingers, the way his black curls shine and fall elegantly around his face, the way his lips pull into just a little bit of a sneer…James thinks he really wouldn’t mind being murdered by Regulus Black.

And that he is so very fucked.

‘James,’ James says, handing Regulus a glass of champagne. 

Regulus doesn’t take the glass. He looks away, a bored expression on his lovely, lovely face. ‘It’s actually Regulus,’ he says in a tone that’s entirely disinterested. 

‘No, I meant I’m James. I just didn’t get a chance to properly introduce myself earlier, Rodolphus and Bellatrix and Dolohov were monopolising you and I thought…well, I’d…introduce myself?’

‘I see. Hello, Just James, can I help you?’ Regulus finally takes the glass of champagne when James keeps sliding it across the banister towards him. There’s a small smile tucked away in the corner of his lips that suggests he finds James very amusing. 

‘No, I’ve just been watching you,’ James says, distracted by the way Regulus holds the champagne class in his lovely, long fingers. He pauses, realising what he just said. ‘Not in a creepy way! I just—well, you’re just lovely and. Well, I noticed you and this function is so boring and.’ He cringes. ‘I’m sorry, I’m terrible at this.’

Regulus raises a single, delicate eyebrow. ‘At flirting? I would say so. Luckily for you, I’m awfully bored as well, so please. Proceed. If you succeed at your terrible flirting, I may also let you dance with me.’ 

This time when Regulus smiles, it’s a proper smile. Dear God, his smile is exquisite, a little bit playful. And James knows, is sure from the very pit of his stomach, that he’s absolutely fucked.