#and i locked myself in to sharing responsibility for sophie and paying off a mortgage w jon and like just all this stuff
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#txt#op#i just dont know what to do because i feel like i cant talk to jon about what i want#like. ugh i think i like tomi but i dont want to just swoop in bc they just broke up w their boyfriend#i can feel its mutual though#i feel like im sneaking around behind jon's back i just like. i dont know i feel like when jon and i are not out on#extravagant trips or having nice dates then i dont know how to interact w him in domestic settings anymore#all we talk about is finances and taking over my dad's company and the dog and whatever the fuck else#i dont know just things used to be a little different and i cant pinpoint how but i just#idk#i wish i had a more open relationship style because i feel like heirarchical polyam is not working for my brain anymore#but i dont want to have that conversation w jon because it would make him feel like shit and i love him and i dont want to break up#and i locked myself in to sharing responsibility for sophie and paying off a mortgage w jon and like just all this stuff#i am so fucking lost right now jesus christ#AAAAAAAAAAAGH
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