#and i literally said to her girl your profile is a bit lame at least add a picture | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sunflowerhae · 4 years ago

Note

She plays bass with jaehyun pls!! Also your music taste is *chefs kiss*

| 📣 > > ty! I quite like my music taste as well🥳😌 follow my spotify if u wanna see my playlists lmao (( @coolangelgwen - lowkey hate myself for this one but no regrets, right?!? )) I tried to make a more realistic conversation style, but idk how I feel abt it. Lemme know! Also~~ last thing, I promise - this isn’t proofread lol so sorry if it’s bad

Send in your own requests! 🧚🏻‍♀️🐮

“Hey, won't you call me back? ‘Cause I've been waiting for a text back. It hurts my brain - This chick who plays bass”

“Jesus Jaehyun, simp much?” Jaehyun reluctantly drew his line of sight from the unlit screen of his phone to the eyes of his best friend.

“What? No, what do you mean?” Johnny rolled his eyes and glanced around the coffee shop the two currently sat in, not focusing his attention on anything specific, before returning his gaze back on the hopeless romantic in front of him.

“I know you’re waiting for her to text you.” At the ~truthful~ words thrown across the table in humor, Jaehyun rolled his own eyes with a “psh” - trying to play off the fact that Johnny was unfortunately right.

“Her” was in fact Y/l/n Y/n, a girl he met at the NCT party that his frat held the previous night. Jaehyun didn’t usually enjoy or attend them, but he had a feeling (some unknown feeling) that he should maybe go to this one, so he found a calming spot in a corner, hunkered down with a beer and a bowl of chips, and prayed that the party would end soon. Friends came by and talked to him, girls came by to seduce him, but Jaehyun’s ass stayed firmly cushioned on his seat in that little, calming corner.

The corner just so happened to be near the food table, so people were coming and going; you were not privy to this fact. You - much like Jaehyun - didn’t usually attend these events. It wasn’t that you had anything against them, you just felt there were better ways to spend your nights. However, Haechan - your best friend - practically begged you to come, stating that,

“it’d be nice to have at least one other cool person there!” And when the younger boy used his pouting charms on you, you found yourself agreeing to his request.

It was lame, though. Haechan had been stuck like glue to you the whole night, prancing you around to his frat brothers and with the obnoxious, “see - I told you she was real!”, he enjoyed seeing the fire of joy ignite in his brothers eyes the more they got to know you. Haechan claimed it was because you were quite known on campus for being the cool, quiet skater girl with good fashion, and everyone who had a conversation with you came out better because of it. You would just respond that he was the Leslie to your Ann (which he would just laugh at, joking that he has scrapbooks of your friendship - thus scaring you more). What was lame, was the party. There was no reason or organization, which you didn’t really care about, you just hated the amount of people, thus lessening the amount of air flow. One glance at the food table that had basically no one by it, and you were telling hyuck you were going to get food and heading that way.

When Jaehyun first saw you, his mind immediately registered who you were. Y/n. The girl that skated through campus, and had dyed hair, and always had butterfly clips in. He had always wanted to meet you, but was never courageous enough to act on it. It was funny, girls practically killed for a conversation with him, yet the one girl he actually wanted, never even looked his way.

That was until now.

You turned your body out to the crowd and glanced around; eyes landing on the little, calming corner, and on the boy who was already looking straight at you. You knew him. Jaehyun. A lot of people liked him, but you specifically knew him as a member of this frat.

“Hi!” You smiled, and he looked surprised that you were even talking to him.

“Hey,” he waved back, “y/n, right?”

You moved closer to him, “yeah, Jaehyun, right? You know Haechan.”

“Oh, yeah I do. You know Haechan?”

“He’s my best friend.” You both nodded at this, but Jaehyun looked a bit surprised.

“Wow, how do you know Haechan? Aren’t you older?”

“I mean, yeah. How do you know I’m older?” You had a playful tone, which calmed Jaehyun’s nerves a bit.

“Oh, we have a class together. Environmental Impact on Civilization with Professor Cilinado?” Your eyes went wide, and even with the strobe lights going off, Jaehyun could see the blush that projected itself onto your cheeks.

“Shit, that’s right. Hi!” You both laughed, “um, I don’t know, Haechan just kind of came up to me once and started talking like we’ve known each other for years and I went along with it, and I guess the rest is history.” The memory of meeting your best friend made a smile cross onto your face, and Jaehyun couldn’t help but think you were beautiful.

“Yeah, that seems like him. Weird I’ve never met you, though.”

“Yeah, I don’t really come to this stuff.”

“Same, what do you like to do?”

“Um..listen to music, I like to play my bass, skate, I guess.”

“Wow, you play bass?” Jaehyun’s eyes went wide in surprise, and you laughed at his taken aback expression.

“Yeah, why, do I seem like someone who wouldn’t?” Jaehyun felt idiotic for once more saying something insensitive, but you, again, had a smile on your face.

“No! Yes? I’m not sure, it’s just always cool to hear that someone plays an instrument. And the bass is so cool.”

You start to respond, but turn your head instead at the sound of Haechan calling your name. “Well, can’t keep the devil waiting. Speaking of, if you want you can get my number from Haechan, text me!” Jaehyun eagerly nods, but you’re already walking away; your back turned around.

Johnny has to literally snap his fingers in front of Jaehyuns face to shake him from the memory of last night, and the moment Jaehyun saw Johnnys amused face, he knew he was caught.

“What’d I say - simp.”

“She plays bass, she plays bass. Nothing matters 'cause we're both in space”

Y/n (4:57pm) hey Jaehyun! I’m happy u texted me! Yesssss let’s totally do something together!! What did u have in mind??

And that’s how you and Jaehyun - basically strangers - ended up on the hood of his car at 1 am; eating chicken nuggets from McDonald’s and looking at the stars together.

“Everyone knows the buffalo sauce is the best, Jaehyun!” He laughed at your counter argument, but shook his head none the less.

“No, honey mustard is superior!”

“No, because you could get that anywhere-“

“-you could get buffalo anywhere! And why is it orange, and why does it taste the way it does?” You were both laughing in between arguing your respective sides, and if it weren’t for the slightly uncomfortable position of laying on the hood of a car, this moment would have been picture perfect (but really, it was anyway).

You were thankful that the college you went to wasn’t directly in the city, so when Jaehyun picked you up and drove to a good star gazing place, it was easy to see the night sky.

“Sometimes, I like to close my eyes and imagine I’m floating in space. It feels kind of trippy.” Jaehyun turned his head at the sound of your voice, but you continued staring at the sky.

“How do you do that?” He asked.

“Well, I have to be in a completely dark and silent room. Then, I just unfocus my gaze and I don’t move my body at all. It’s how people become, uh..Jesus what’s the word? When they get like, controlled?-“

“-hypnotized?”

“Yeah! I watched a video where he hypnotized the crowd and the viewers to see their past life - it was crazy.” Through out your small speech, you waved your hands a lot, and Jaehyun took notice of the fact that you spoke with your hands; it was something small, but he tucked it into the back of his head, and kept it to think about for when he needed to smile.

“What was your past life?”

“I lived at an old korean palace - like 19th century. I wasn’t a high position, but I was wealthy. I wore red a lot.”

“Send me the link?” You finally turned to lock eyes with Jaehyun.

“Yes, of course.” You both smiled at each. Nothing was said, but both of you could practically feel yourselves making room for each other in your hearts, the longer you sat on the hood of Jaehyun’s car; staring at the stars.

“How I wish we could just date - So you can teach me how to be more like you”

Jaehyun could feel himself fidgeting slightly while he waited for you to open the door to your apartment. After gazing at the stars, you offered him a tour of your place and a beer or two, and Jaehyun didn’t admit it, but he didn’t care if you said you wanted to kill someone - he would have agreed if it meant spending more time with you.

“Sorry it’s kind of a mess! I was going to clean it on Wed...” your voice continued going, but the farther you walked away, the less Jaehyun heard it, so he just chose to instead look around the main area of your apartment, and what he found left him in awe.

A black bass sat snugly in the corner of your living room, surrounded by plants. Behind your couch framed, vintage movie posters decorated the wall, and fairy lights, records, and books sat on the shelf above your tv.

You came out of the kitchen with a wine bottle and two glasses, and you sat them down on the coffee table while Jaehyun took a seat on your couch. “I like your apartment.”

You looked back at him with a smile while pouring yourselves drinks, and sat down next to him while laughing, “thanks. Like I said, it’s kind of messy,” you paused to take a drink, “But it’s home. Bleh, wine makes me feel old.” Jaehyun nodded while laughing, and the air became thick with quietness, which teetered between awkward and calm leniently. Jaehyun - as slyly as he could - stared at your side profile while you started talking about the movie posters hanging behind you. You had an aura of chill vibes, and it seemed that whatever you talked about, you managed to make interesting. Jaehyun was debating whether he wanted to date you, or be you, until he came to the conclusion that he wanted to date you so he could learn to be like you. Although it was the beginning of what he hoped was a new relationship, Jaehyun already had so much respect for you, and as you joked around with him about whatever the two of you could think of, Jaehyun’s excitement for the the future held only increased more and more.

Past life video

That was my actual past life btw! Lemme know what y’all get 😩 also just go on the website if you get a lot of ads - bc that can fuck w ur hypnotization! It’s not scary, I promise. The dude has a super nice voice. It’s vv trippy. If you’re a skeptic - do it anyway. Worst case scenario, you get a good laugh.

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minnie-marvel · 6 years ago

Text

Crown Fell (Peter Parker x Reader) Part 4

Asgard has been destroyed and the time has come for you to live on Midgard with your brothers Thor and Loki. They’ve decided in order to live among humans you must learn to adapt to them, and what better place to do that then highschool? Don’t worry too much though, a very cute Peter Parker is ready to teach you and might be the Prince Charming you never thought you’d find on earth.

Peter Parker x Reader

Words: 1,848

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

A/N: Okay but we all know that we busted an entire tear when we saw Rue’s death scene in Hunger Games let’s be real for a second. I really wanted to get this out before my wisdom teeth removal so here ya go!

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You kicked your feet to and fro tapping furiously at the new phone in your hand. It was a gift from Tony Stark, a way to communicate with him and the rest of the Avengers should the time arise. You still sat on the barstool Peter leaning beside you as he helped you punch in his number as a contact.

“There! Now if you need me but I’m not here, you can click these and we can talk whenever you want,” He smiled innocently looking up at you his chocolate brown eyes making your cheeks flush as you looked at him.

“But…does that mean you’ll be leaving on a mission after this weekend?” You asked disappointment creeping into your tone. He waved his hands feverishly in response to whisk away your sudden sadness.

“N-no I’ll still be here!! And at school too!! It’s for like when I’m not two feet away from you, you know?” he asked to help you put both of your minds at ease. Peter wasn’t sure if his heart could take another somber gaze from you.

You felt your lips smile and you nodded shoving the phone into his hands. “Now then! You’ll have to show this Instagram Flash was talking about, I’m quite curious!!”

Peter laughed and happily obliged starting to make your account for you. “Okay, what do you want people to call you on here?” He asked as you rested a hand on his shoulder while you watched, making a chill run down his spine.

“Hmm… it should be something inconspicuous… what would you suggest?” You asked blinking up at him.

“what about just your name? Or Y/N. O with some numbers or x’s?”

“PERFECT! Go forth Peter, I’m anxious for this Instagram to finally take shape,” You said eagerly as he tapped your name away with two simple x’s before and after your name and initials. He took a step back with the phone still in his hands your face perfectly fitting in the frame.

“Peter? What are you doing?” You asked curiously tilting your head to the side.

“It’s not complete without a picture! Smile!” He cheered. It wasn’t like he had to ask you twice. The happiness in his voice was enough to make you break out in a huge grin.

Snap!

He set the picture as your profile icon and added it to your page without a caption before handing the phone back to you. “Now you can add and follow people as much as you’d like! I followed you,” he explained pointing to an icon of him and Ned in mid-handshake. You smiled at his profile scanning what few pictures you could before a notification popped on your feed. You squinted at your phone.

“Flash_99 has followed you…? How quick…” You whispered to yourself. Peter nearly fell over looking at your phone too. “I JUST made this account like… literally a minute ago!! God, he’s so annoying…” he muttered to himself throwing a hand through his hair. You shrugged and clicked the phone off before approaching Peter again.

“Well, if it makes you feel better, I like you far better than I do Flash,” You smiled before walking off, leaving Peter a blushing mess, that tried to struggle from melting into the cracks between the floorboards.

“Okay everyone, since it's our little princess’ first day home from school I thought it might be appropriate for a little catch-up party!!” Tony Stark had hopped over the large seat planting himself comfortably while swinging his legs over the sides.

“Aww sweet a catch-up party??” Peter asked sitting on the floor right by Thor’s feet. “This’ll be great,” You sat between your two brothers as you usually did, blinking as the huge flat screen slowly descended from the living rooms ceiling. You leaned your head down to Peter. “what’s a catch-up party?”

Steve sat properly on a sofa close by while the rest of the Avengers who wanted to join you filtered in the room slowly. Some had bowls of popcorn, others bottles of sodas and cups to pass around. You turned to listen to Steve’s explanation.

“I’m older than the rest of these guys,” He explained pointing to the collective group with the back of his thumbs. “I come from a time that didn’t have all these different forms of technology, and movies and things, so every once in a while we throw one of these parties to catch me up to speed with how things are in the twenty-first century,” he took a cup and filled it with sprite before taking a sip of the bubbling liquid.

“This will be good for you too Y/N, it might help you with making some references,” Tony said grabbing the remote and turning the television on. “I think we’ll have to pick a teen movie for your sake, we’ve got Mean Girls, High-school musical, Twilight, The Princess diaries- I think you might actually enjoy that-”

You pointed your finger to one picture that had a serious looking girl pointing an arrow seemingly at you. “What’s that one?” You asked almost expecting for her picture to move.

“That? That’s The Hunger Games,” Peter answered tossing a glance at you. “It’s kind of violent though… are you sure you want to watch it?” He arched an eyebrow and you returned him with a sly smirk.

“You’re asking this to the person who pulled a knife on you earlier today?” You asked.

“What?!” The whole room erupted minus your brothers (Loki looked especially pleased) and Peter causing you to shrug sheepishly. “We were only playing!!” You defended flicking your wrist a dagger appearing in your hand in an instant.

“She can do the instant dagger thing too?!?!?” Bruce asked already letting his fingernails dig into the arms of the chair he sat in.

“Sister, your Loki is showing,” Thor said patting your shoulder. You pouted as you flicked your wrist again the dagger seemingly disappearing into thin air.

“I’ll try not to take that as an insult brother,” Loki chimed as he pulled you close to him. “It’s high time you showed your mischievous side!”

“Is that so Loki??” You erupted in a laugh pulling Thor with you as the three of you collided in a sort of dogpile on Loki, the combined weight of both you and Thor nearly choking him. He slapped your bodies away vigorously like a cat who had water dumped on them who sought out revenge.

Peter and the rest of the Avengers couldn’t help but stare. It was so odd to see Thor and Loki act so friendly. They weren’t complaining though, anyone would have preferred a happy Loki as to a sad one, or even worse- an angry one.

“Alright, quit horsing around you three, I’m gonna start this baby up,” Tony said pressing play shuffling into his chair more. You suddenly found your attention drawn to the television as the movie started.

You can’t say the violence shocked you or really anyone but Peter being that he was the one that was least used to the violent lifestyle that the rest of you were all accustomed too. You hardly reacted throughout the whole thing but listening to Peter’s commentary proved to be a bit funnier than expected. Halfway you found yourself sliding to the floor next to him because Tony threatened to blast him with his iron suit if he said one more lame pun. You of course still wanted to hear everything he had to say about the movie so you stayed close- much to your brothers’ dismay.

You hugged your knees as the pale light from the screen reflected onto your faces while the rest of you sat in the dark. You suddenly felt your body go still as you saw a child have a spear thrown straight to her chest. As the protagonist sang softly to her body you felt your eyes sting, tears welling up inside them. Your lips pursed as you tried not to give yourself away, but Peter’s eyes were looking into yours from the side.

You didn’t see it but both of your brother’s body had tensed up uncomfortably as they forced themselves to watch the screen. Loki felt his nails dig into his own skin as he crossed his arms tightly and Thor’s teeth clenched so hard on top of one another that he thought they might break. They barely moved barely breathed until the scene was over. When it finished and the riot ended their eyes tore themselves from the screen and landed on you as you rubbed your shoulders.

They didn’t let their gaze shift from you for the rest of their movie because some part of them, even if it was a small part, feared that if they did, you might have ended up the same way as the poor girl in the movie.

After the credits rolled and the lights came on everyone broke out into individual discussions about the movie. You couldn’t help but attack Peter with questions.

“So they both were allowed to live with their lives?? How is the Capital not furious??”

“Oh, they are,”

“Then why are they still alive and fine?? Why couldn’t the little girl live too?”

“Well, there's another movie,”

Your jaw just about dropped as you leaned in close to Peter’s face. “Another?!” You asked. Peter couldn’t help but blush despite knowing that he had two Norse gods watching his every move. Your eyes were just so close to him, he could see the different specks of color in them seemingly glistening with excitement.

“Y-yeah like… two more,” He answered averting his eyes shyly.

“TWO?!?!?!?” You shouted. You grabbed his hands quickly in yours. “Peter, we must watch these immediately!! I have so many questions, so many thoughts so many-”

“Y/N, it’s getting late,” Thor said standing to his feet. “Perhaps you can watch in the morning, for now, we all need rest,” he said taking you by the back of your collar without breaking a sweat. He threw you over his shoulder.

“Goodnight fellow Avengers, Peter,” he said not even bothering to glance back as you were carried away to your room.

“Tread carefully spider-boy,” Loki said in a soft hiss leaning down into Peter’s ear from behind causing him to jolt in place his heart jumping out of his chest in fear. He left him grasping at the cotton shirt he wore breathing heavily a soft “oh my god,” escaping his lips.

Peter wasn’t sure if he had just made two very powerful adversaries or not, but he wasn’t going to try and push their buttons to try and find out.

Meanwhile, you sat in your bed still trying to figure out how the foreign application on your phone when you saw a number one pop onto a small bubble at the corner of your screen. Curious to what it did you clicked onto it blinking at the message it held.

‘Hey Y/N, I’m gonna be throwing a dope ass party at my house tomorrow night, you should totally come ’

Part 5

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violetbeachpod · 6 years ago

Text

1x01 / twelve oh one

TERESA:

Okay, so–it’s recording. Cool .

Um. It’s Wednesday. It’s been nine days since–eight days, maybe? –well, if you’re listening, at this point, you know what it was–Benji says we’re gonna publish this, but, like, no. That’s–that’s ridiculous. This is for science.

Or our memoirs. Whatever.

We’ve–the seven of us have decided to keep a log. Of what’s been going on.

Um. So. Cool. Name and deets, just in case some more weird memory shit goes down–My name’s Teresa. I’m eighteen. I’m an Aries, I like bowling and shitty pop music, and only mostly ironically. That enough fluff? I’m a freshman at, ah, Lands College, here in town, and. Studying journalism, with a minor in women’s studies, uh–anything else–I feel like this would be a better story if I start showing, rather than telling.

Or, like. Telling stories rather than just reading out my dating profile. Because that’s lame.

My dating profile’s actually–it’s a lot more detailed than that. I’m on, like, seven different sites, and every profile is. Very Different.

(text notification sound)

Anj, stop–stop listening in! You–you–dude, take a nap.

So. Anyway. Here’s what we know.

(long beat)

That was good, right? A good joke? That’s something. Um. Cuz we don’t know very much at all. There’s something there, I swear, like, I rehearsed that bit in the bathroom mirror this morning, and I was thinking, no, I won’t pull that, but–

But. Back to the point.

Y’know how, in movies, people are always like, “Nobody knows except for us?”

That’s so exclusive. So presumptuous. We don’t know if people are lying. We haven’t spoken to every person on the planet–we haven’t even spoken to anyone outside of Maryland. Outside of town. Like. We’ve watched news, but God knows, some of those conspiracies about hypnosis through CNN are real, or whatever. Y’know? Like–those conspiracies are almost exclusively believed in by, like, flat-earthing racists, so, like, they’re probably, definitely super wrong, but–I was making a joke and I’m overthinking it now. Cool.

Anyway. We don’t know who knows. Maybe someone in, like, Caracas, knows? Maybe someone in–you get my point–knows.

Or maybe we’re being Truman Showed. Wouldn’t be the worst theory to have come out of this.

I would–well, I’d hate it, but one time, back in middle school, the public library did these–these movie nights for teenagers, right? And, so, uh, a bunch of us were there, and I was sitting with Angie, cuz she was–she was the only person I knew there, of course, and she was sitting with these kids, like–uh, from the hippie school she had taken in, and–one of them was AJ, I know, and one was Charlotte. but the others, I don’t see anymore.

But anyway, she was, like, starry-eyed at the idea of her life being a TV show without her knowing. At the idea of unintentional stardoms. So maybe she’ll get a kick out of that theory.

Here’s something: I was working on my campaign notes earlier, cuz the group’s meeting tomorrow, should meet tomorrow and I didn’t really–I didn’t like a few of the potentials, so, whatever. Irrelevant.

I checked the time, and–well. It was twelve oh one. And two minutes later, it was still twelve oh one. And now, it’s still twelve oh one.

I thought maybe my laptop was being bad again? But it said the same on my phone, and on the wall clock.

The app says time is passing. It’s been longer than fifty-nine seconds.

It’s still twelve oh one, though, is the thing. Which isn’t great, all things considered.

But, we’ll catch up on that later.

Here’s the big thing. I went back to the beach last night to see if I could recreate what happened alone, and, uh–at least. I think I did. I don’t remember going, but, uh, Angie says I did, and AJ said that when he was closing at work, he saw me walking towards it. But I didn’t–I didn’t go.

There are sixty-nine–which, yeah, nice, that’s the sex number, whatever–sticky notes on the bathroom mirror, and, like–I can make out letters on some of them them? Individual letters? But not words. And I know that they’re making words, and I know that it’s my handwriting, but my brain just–it goes somewhere else.

And other ones, that I can read, they have dumb stuff. One of them’s just a doodle of David Hyde Pierce with a caption that just says “HELL YEAH. LOOK AT THE MOON WEDNESDAY.”

It’s, like–in fairness to me, or the person I assume to be me, it’s a fairly good David Hyde Pierce. And there’s–there’s a new moon tonight, so–well.

Whatever.

It’s still twelve oh–oop. Nevermind. Twelve oh two now. Nice.

Benji wants me to take off work until this whole thing’s sorted out. Says he’ll still pay me, but, like–being yelled at by awful dudes about trivia that nobody knows is kind of the only constant in my life right now? So I said no. Obviously. Like. It sucks, but it makes me feel normal. Like the beach out by Angie’s place did, before–

Well. Maybe some recollection would be nice, I guess. Just so, like, Danny and company–like, if we end up showing them. Cuz I’m better at sticking to the facts than, say, Robin or Charlotte. So. Yeah.

So. Uh.

Most folks know that she transferred in after a semester at–well, I’m not allowed to say the name of the school in front of her, anymore, and she’s, like, giving me death-eyes out of the bedroom door. But. A certain Ivy League school. This is relevant–

Okay, maybe not, but it’s a nice set up to our establishing shot, which is, of course, her New Year’s party, nine days ago. At her parents’ place. Or, eight days ago, at her parents’ place, I guess. She told us on New Year’s Eve that she was starting at Lands on the fourth, and I offered her a stay in my dorm, cuz I had a single, and, uh, it sucked? But. Whatever.

So I said, “You know, I have a single.” And she said–wait, lemme find my journal–yes, I do write down conversations, Angie.

Alright. She said, “Oh, really, is it on–Bandcamp, Soundcloud, iTunes, MySpace? I didn’t know you–” And I said, “I meant dorm room, dude, you mentioned–MySpace?”

She said, “I still use it.” I laughed, “Of course you do.”

But, anyway. We agreed to live together, but. It was one AM. Robin Cabell dropped by with her new fiancee, said hi, and–well, like, our babysitter’s getting married, to, like, this gorgeous girl from DC, and the high school kids from the hippie school were there, and Benji was there, cuz he’s everywhere, and–

As folks left–Angie started playing Wonderwall around 3AM, so, uh, a little bit before then–it ended up just being the seven of us. Her parents are out of town–as always. Well, not always. But frequently.

They’re mad about–Blarvardgate.

I–I didn’t say it! I said something mildly close alluding to it. Stop texting me!

But. It was just the seven of us there, Angie still playing some terrible 90s song, and–Benji says, “I brought fireworks. Forgot about that til now.” Elaine, uh, Robin’s new fiancee, asked, “They legal?”

Benji said, “It’s New Year’s Day and I’m a–a bit of a town celebrity,” he said, because his podcast gets, like, seventeen downloads per episode.

“You are?” asked Elaine.

He got really proud, real fast, and he said, “Yes, absolutely, and also, I’m at some rich people’s house and it’s New Year’s Day, so, like. We’ll be fine.”

Which, fair.

And that’s about when things blew up?

Ironically, not literally, cuz he went to his truck, and brought out the fireworks, and he was–well. It was New Year’s, he wasn’t sober, so, he tripped, and those things went flying, landing in the water. It was a bad fall, he hit his head on a rock. And Charlotte was laughing, and she was wading right where the waves were breaking, and she fell backwards, so–AJ panicked, and he jumped in after her, cuz she wasn’t coming up.

And AJ came up, holding Char so she could stand, and she was coughing up water, looked like she was about to pass out. I was checking out Benji’s wound, even though, I’m, like,–blood? Not my thing, ever, at all, it’s–it’s weird and red, and Angie was getting up to check on me, and Rob and her fiancee were trying to help out the kids, and–

And the sky went bright purple.

Not, like, when it’s a sunset, and the sky’s kinda magenta? And that’s blending into the night-sky color, but–

Like, highest saturation on photoshop, highest brightness, makes-you-almost vomit cuz your eyes are burning, that bright purple.

And my skin, it felt like it was burning. I smelled salt, felt a breeze, and I tried to close my eyes, to breathe out, but I couldn’t.

And then there was nothing.

And then I woke up on the beach. I could smell salt, I was totally clear-headed–and Benji’s cut? It was gone.

My watch said it was around 4AM. My phone was dead, but–it was the first, still. The sun was rising, in–in normal sky colors.

And I woke up second. Elaine was already up.

She asked me if I saw it too.

I said I that did.

Neither of us needed to clarify what. But we did. Obviously. Because “it” could be, like, anything, like–could be that new reality show that everyone’s super into where eliminations are decided by arm wrestles–it’s, like–it’s got compelling storylines, I swear.

My phone died, Angie, so if you’re trying to communicate, I can’t help you.

Oh! Time’s passing normally now. That’s nice. That’s good.

The plan was to recount the past week’s events, as well as their psychological effect on us. That’s what we agreed on.

So. Time stopped for a little while today. That was weird. That’s important.

I guess–I’m first, so I should talk about my other big experience too.

I was the fourth of us to see something, after it all? It was the third. After work, I was walkin’ to Ramon’s? And as I passed the custard stand, I saw this woman.

She was shorter than me, uh, long sundress on that was way too summery for this weather, but she didn’t seem cold. I offered her my hoodie, cuz I at least had long sleeves, but she didn’t answer. Dark hair, big sunglasses. I’d wager maybe thirty.

She took off her sunglasses, yeah? And the sky flashed purple–the same purple, the same burning feeling all over me–

And then the same nothingness, same smell of salt, same breeze, but–

I was still standing. And we were in this space, this–this purple nothingness, no ground, no sky, no nothing, that’s a double negative, you get what I mean, and–I was still standing–more floating, which was–not as pleasant as you’d expect? But not unpleasant, either. And this woman, she looked at me, dead in the eyes, and–

And she said–

(beat, uncomfortable)

What did she say?

(laughs)

It’s–it’s in my head, like. Tip of my tongue. I wrote it down, but it’s–it’s another individual letters making out a word I know but can’t–type situation.

But whatever.

What I’m most concerned about is my going to the beach. About the sticky notes. Like, that’s some sci-fi bullshit. Or some horror bullshit. Either or. Probably both.

Again, Truman Showed. Viable theory, here.

Or it has something to do with the Groundhog Day thing. Maybe.

I think what bothers me about this is how easy I’m accepting all this–that, like, I’m fairly sure all this is real. I know it’s–it’s weird. I know that this is sci-fi-esque, but, like–I never saw myself as a protagonist, or–any kind of tagonist, I guess, in those stories. But this–now, I think that I am.

So. Cool.

But why do I think that’s cool? I’m the–I’m the socially-stilted nerdy girl who either dies second or gets really good at guns, and I’m very afraid of guns.

So, therefore? I’m dying second.

Or, or or or, I’m Lois Lane. Charming and tough young journalist, swept off her feet by a charming stranger. Hopefully not a Superman, though, cuz–he’s not my thing. But. Yeah. I can deal with Lois.

I feel like I should know what happens next. Me or Benji, we gotta, we’re the ones who know genre like the backs of our hands. That’s why we’re friends, but–

This isn’t supposed to happen here. Like, I grew up here, and I’m–I wasn’t planning to stay here forever, obviously, but–This town, VB, it’s–it’s comforting in its boringness. Sure, it’s not– the people here are always cycling in-and-out, cuz tourism and school, and all that, but–Violet Beach is a normal-ass town. We don’t have ghost stories, we don’t have cryptids, we–we don’t have lore, or whatever. I don’t think there’s ever been a murder here, for God’s sake.

Okay, well–the hippie school’s headmaster, uh, the rebrander guy, Andrew Corielli, or–his son’s the mayor, right?–Shot that grocer, like, in the sixties. But everyone was a serial killer back then, if I can trust every true crime show ever.

But–my point is. What’s going on is not what happens in this town. What’s going on is what goes on in, like, Roswell, or–or Twin Peaks, or something.

I’m–I don’t have much else to say. That’s a conclusion if there ever was one. So. Uh.

Okay. I’m signing off. Thanks, guys. Hope to see you soon.

#script #season one #teresa

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exolistic · 6 years ago

Text

Mystic Part 5

Masterlist Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Genre: ANGST

Stuck amidst an intricate tangle of lies and deceit, who will you choose to trust?

Six Days Until the Party

(Y/N) has entered the chat

Jongin: You’re here!

(Y/N): Good morning!

Jongin: It is a good morning, an amazing morning actually. I’m dying over what happened to Baekhyun lolololol

(Y/N): It’s hilarious but at the same time I feel a little bit bad for him lol.

Jongin: Nah it’s fine. Baekhyun does shit like this all the time. He’s such a mess. He and Chanyeol are roommates and idk how Chan deals with him sometimes. Chanyeol is probably the smartest and most intellectual person I’ve ever met, yet he puts up with Baekhyun’s lack of brain cells 24/7.

(Y/N): They’re cute though.

Jongin: You think so too? Chanyeol will kill me for telling you this, but Sehun and I think they’re dating lolololol.

(Y/N): Really? Omg

Jongin: Yeah, they always deny it but everyone knows they’re liars. It’s so obvious.

(Y/N): Hmmm, Chanbaek or Baekyeol?

Jongin: Chanbaek definitely lol.

Sehun has entered the chat

Jongin: Sehun you’re here!

(Y/N): Hey Sehun

Sehun: Why did I drink so much yesterday? Ugh.

Jongin: I always warn you but you literally never listen to me ever.

Sehun: I read the chat. Baekhyun is a dumbass.

Jongin: I want him to come on so we can make fun of him.

Sehun: He’s gonna avoid the chat at all costs.

Jongin: We’ll have Chanyeol force him in lol.

(Y/N): I wonder if he ever got his car back.

Jongin: Good question lol.

Sehun: It’s doubtful.

Jongin: Sehun are you coming home soon?

Sehun: I’m not sure, I’m on the subway right now.

(Y/N): Are you guys roommates too?

Jongin: Yeah. Chanyeol and Baekhyun live together, Sehun and I live together, and I think Yixing and Junmyeon are living together now too but idk they’re weird about telling us stuff now.

Sehun: Don’t tell her too much.

Jongin: Oh my god Sehun don’t start with this again.

Sehun: You’re gonna end up like Baekhyun if you don’t use common sense.

(Y/N): Sehun, I don’t blame you for not trusting me.

Sehun: Are you trying to suck up now?

Jongin: Sehun shut up oh my god, be nice to the pretty girl.

Sehun: You haven’t even seen her yet, how do you know if she’s pretty or not?

Jongin: A guy can imagine.

(Y/N): ……..

Jongin: ;)

Sehun: I’m leaving now.

Sehun has left the chat

Jongin: I’m worried about him these days.

(Y/N): He seems to have a lot on his mind.

Jongin: He and Luhan…. they were really close…..

(Y/N): It’s understandable that he’s closed off then. Did all of this happen recently too?

Jongin: Luhan and the others disappeared about four months ago, so yeah it’s pretty recent.

(Y/N): You never know, maybe Luhan will come back.

Jongin: I sure hope so. I just can’t help but feel like we’re all missing something here. I feel like Yixing and Junmyeon know exactly where he is.

(Y/N): But then why wouldn’t they tell you guys?

Jongin: That’s what I’m wondering. I feel like they would tell us if he was in danger though, I don’t think they would let anything bad happen to him. But it’s not even just that. Tao and Kris left suddenly too. They told us that they were leaving because their work was suddenly very demanding, but you’d think they’d at least keep in contact with us.

(Y/N): Maybe they will come back at some point or get in touch soon, I’m not sure.

Jongin: I don’t know. They were always a little weird to be honest. They were newer members. They actually got here around the same time as Yixing did. It started off when Junmyeon created this organization. He sought out people to join. I’m a dancer, and he saw me perform once and asked me to join. Baekhyun is a writer, and Junmyeon read some of his works and asked him to join, he does a lot of the speeches for the organization. Chanyeol is a genius, he’s known to have one of the highest IQs in the country. Junmyeon asked him to join, and he handles a lot of the economic and security/computer stuff. I know he has some hacking job aside from this but no one really knows for sure what he does. I’ve been friends with Sehun for a long time, and asked him to join when he dropped out of college. He was having a really hard time, and I thought it would give him something to do. Luhan joined next, he was a singer, and Junmyeon saw him performing on the street once and asked him to join.

(Y/N): So you guys each played a role in the organization?

Jongin: Yes. Luhan and I used our skills to do performances for the charity. Baekhyun handles speeches and stuff, Chanyeol does all the smart people stuff, Sehun helps out where he can, Junmyeon runs everything.

(Y/N): When did everyone else join?

Jongin: It was just us for about a year or two, but then Kris, Tao, and Yixing joined in pretty close succession. Tao and Kris came on the same day, Junmyeon said they were referred from an intelligence unit. They were mainly used for security. Yixing joined a little before them, and he got really close with Junmyeon pretty fast. Now he helps run everything.

(Y/N): Now I feel like I need a role lol.

Jongin: What do you like to do? Any hobbies?

(Y/N): Um…. I draw, and do yoga but that’s about it lol T-T

Jongin: You could design flyers?

(Y/N): That’s lame lol.

Jongin: It’s okay, you’ve only been here a few days. We’ll find something for you to do.

(Y/N): You’re right, for now I just need to get to know everyone.

Jongin: Exactly! I can’t wait to meet you at the party, I’m sure you’re very beautiful.

(Y/N): I wouldn’t count on it T-T

Jongin: C’mon don’t be down on yourself. I’m not very handsome so I don’t have high expectations. I’m probably the ugliest in the group.

(Y/N): Not to be weird but from looking at your profile picture I don’t think that’s true….

Jongin: Omg are you saying I’m attractive?

(Y/N): ……..

Jongin: You made my day. I have to go now, but we’ll talk later okay? Have a good day, don’t forget to eat all of your meals okay?

(Y/N): Goodbye, have a nice day too!

Jongin has left the chat

(Y/N) has left the chat

It’s the next morning now, meaning that the party is only in six days. Only six days until I can possibly get out of this place, and back to my life. Is my family looking for me? Are they freaking out? I can’t help but think of everyone I left behind in this mess. I can’t believe I’ve only been here for a few short days, it feels like a lifetime. How has so much changed already?

My life before this wasn’t all that glamorous to be honest. I love my family of course, but our relationship was never perfect. They never understood me, never made much time for me. I never really had friends. I made some throughout school, but they never lasted long. All I had in my old life was myself, and my job. I was a barista, taking a gap year before I went to college. I never knew what I wanted to do with my life, who I wanted to be. I begin to feel a bit hopeless, thinking about what I’m going to be going back to. Does anyone even care? Am I even missing out on anything?

I shake the thoughts from my mind. Of course I want to go back. Of course I want to leave this shithole. I’ll go back and live my life the way I used to. Empty, and lonely. It’s all I’ve ever known.

Needing a change of scenery, I climb out of the bed I’ve been laying in all day since I got here, and walk out into the hall. It isn’t much, but at least i can pace around out here for a little while. I just need to do something before I go insane.

I pace up and down the hallway for a while, weighing all of my options and reflecting on the past few days. I can’t help but wonder what this place actually is. It seems dangerous, but according to them Yixing is just as dangerous, as well as all of EXO. But could that really be true? Why should I listen to what Anonymous is telling me? Running my hands through my hair, I scrunch my eyes in defeat. What the hell should I do? Who do I believe?

I start down the hallway towards the bathroom, deciding to shower to clear my mind. On the way, I grab the robe I was given from my room, along with all of my toiletries, and head to the showers.

The steam loosens my tense muscles, and soothes my anxiety. I breathe in the foggy air, letting it clear my senses. The hot water encompasses me and calms me down, halting my racing mind. Rubbing body wash into my skin, the scent of rose filling my nostrils. Images of gardens and vibrant flowers fill my mind and take me to a more serene place. A place where I could escape all of this, escape the uncertainty and pressure. I continue to turn up the water hotter and hotter, nothing able to warm me enough. At this point it’s burning my skin, stinging as each droplet hits my skin, but I barely notice. Nothing is helping put me at ease. I scrub my skin a little harder, frustration taking over. Deciding I’ve had enough, I turn off the water and step out of the shower. The cool air soothes my skin, and I flinch as the bottoms of my feet meet the cool tile, a dramatic contrast from the scalding water.

I cross the room to the foggy mirror, running my fingers over the surface to rid it of the condensation. I stare in the reflection at my face, red from the hot water, wet hair sticking to me. Moisture pools on my skin, causing it to glisten slightly. However my complexion is still dull, dark circles under my eyes showcasing my exhaustion. My eyes looks empty and emotionless, pupils dilated. I press my fingers to my cheek, feeling the hallow skin.

Stepping away from the mirror, I slip on a robe, gathering my clothes and toiletries. I open the door, stepping out of the hazy bathroom and into the crisp air in the hall. My room is just down the hall, and I pray no one will see me before I get there. There are never many people around where I stay.

I keep my head down, rushing to my room, when a strong arm stops me, trapping me against the wall. In seconds, their lips are against my neck, brushing up against the sensitive skin. My breath hitches in my throat and I feel light headed, cringing at the close proximity.

I gasp, struggling to get away.

“It’s just me,” I recognize the voice, Tao.

“Can I get dressed first please?” I whimper, struggling under his grasp.

“We have to talk first,” He breathes, lips still against my neck, making me shudder.

“Can I please just-”

He interrupts me by placing a finger to my lips, gazing into my eyes. His dark brown eyes blaze into mine, causing me to squirm out of intimidation. He looked angry, intimidating, menacing.

“I have orders for you,” he whispers, licking his lips.

His face is inches from mine, too close for my liking. I try to lean away, but there is nowhere for me to go. He moves even closer, the tension growing thicker.

“You need to start talking to Yixing more, and stop walking through the halls half naked,” he continues, smirking.

Trying to shove him away, I push my fingers against his chest. He chuckles, complying by stepping away from me, and watching me as I scurry to my room, obviously flustered. What the hell is his deal always trapping me against the wall? What a pervert.

“Don’t forget what I said about Yixing!” He calls behind me, amusement evident in his tone. I want to flip him off, but I’d rather not get choked again.

I walk into my room and slam the door behind me, my cheeks blushing furiously. What the hell is wrong with these people?

Trying to rid the previous situation from my mind, I get dressed and collapse back onto the bed, grabbing for the phone to see if I have any messages.

Ideally, I see one from Yixing. Tao told me I had to talk to him more, I’ll start trying to text him more often I guess.

Yixing: (Y/N), do not reply to this text. Delete it as soon as you see it, do you understand me? I know where you are. I know you are in danger. Do not listen to a single thing anyone there tells you. Just hold on until the party, I’ll get you out of there.

My heart begins to race, how does he know? I listen to his demand, quickly deleting the message, and close out of the app, tossing the phone across the bed as if it were scalding my hands. Will people at Anonymous have seen this by now? I’m not sure what they’re doing to track my conversations, but I pray they didn’t see it. This situation keeps getting more and more complicated. For now, I’m deciding to trust in Yixing, and listen to his word. It’s my best bet at this point. I just need to make it until the party. I just have to make it six more days. It will be okay. It will work out. Won’t it?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yixing’s POV

I pace around the office, running my fingers through my hair in frustration.

“I can’t believe they’re bringing more innocent people into this now. What more do they want?” I groan.

Junmyeon watches me from his seat behind the grand wooden desk, concern clear on his features as he furrows his thick brows.

“We’re gonna get her out of there at the party I presume?” Junmyeon asks, sounding thoughtful.

“Yes, we have to. She’s innocent, they’re gonna kill her right after the party. This is such a fucking mess.” I pace even faster, rubbing my temples in distress.

Junmyeon sighs, squeezing his eyes shut.

“Yixing, I want to save her too, but what does that mean for us?”

I stop pacing, turning to look at him, an incredulous look on my face.

“Are you trying to suggest that we just let her die?” I ask, squinting my eyes at him.

“No, that’s not what I meant, I just,” He runs his fingers through his fluffy black hair, pushing it off of his forehead. “What consequences will it hold? They have Luhan, we still have so much to deal with.”

My head throbs from this mess of a situation, trying to weigh all of the attributes in my mind.

“Look, I have the one thing they desperately need. If we use that, we can get anything we want from them. At this point, I have nothing else to live for. I’m dedicated to eradicating that group, and I’ll do whatever I can to assure that. If it means losing my life then I-”

“Yixing, don’t finish that sentence.” Junmyeon orders, his voice sharp.

I clench my jaw, throwing my head back. “Look, I’m willing to threaten myself, and the coordinates. If I use that as a threat, they’ll let go of the girl. She isn’t that important to them, they won’t risk it for her. They’re just gonna kill her after the party anyways.”

“I guess you’re right, but what are we gonna do about Luhan? And they’re probably planning an infiltration for the party, how do we know it’s gonna be safe?” Junmyeon looks thoughtful, twiddling a pencil between his fingers.

“From the recordings we’ve been able to gather from (Y/N)’s phone, this is Kris and Tao’s mission. This is their last mission, and they’re not gonna wanna fail. If we just threaten with the coordinates, and with me, they’re not gonna wanna risk the repercussions. They’ll back off for at least a little bit, and give us time to create a better plan.” I’ve put a lot of thought into this. There are many possible outcomes, and many crossroads, but I have faith in trying.

Junmyeon looks doubtful. “I’m just wondering if we should wait to have this party, it seems too dangerous.”

I shake my head. “This party is very crucial in gaining the upper hand. Once we get things a bit safer, we can bring Chanyeol into things. Anonymous wants him badly, he’s perfect prey. He’s smart enough to to give us the advantage with hacking. Right now with their intelligence unit, they’re a step ahead. If we can get (Y/N), shut them down, let them know we’re onto them, get Chanyeol, they’ll panic. In the end, they really don’t want to lose the information we’ve been keeping from them. Without those coordinates, their job is a lot harder. They’ll put up a fight for longer to try and not have to have those out of the picture.”

Junmyeon still looks concerned. “Yixing, I’m going to trust you, but I don’t know. What’s gonna stop them from just killing Luhan? They’re going to stop caring about the coordinates eventually. They’re probably already working on something new. We can’t drag this out, we have to work fast.You, and that information are our only vantage points right now. That’s the only thing stopping them from killing you, and killing Luhan. If we take (Y/N), they might want to counteract. If they think we care about her, they’ll just use her against us.”

I groan, rubbing my face in exasperation and leaning against the bookcase for support. “You might be right, but I still think we have to try. (Y/N) is more important for us in this situation than you think. We just need to keep our access to her phone open, and I’m going to talk to her about spying. I know those headquarters like the back of my hand, and can direct her. She can get us information. If we get Luhan, then we can finally shut them down. That’s the only thing that’s holding us back right now. Don’t you see how close we are?”

“You’re right, but there’s still so many obstacles. And I’m worried about how far you’re willing to go” Junmyeon groans, lowering his forehead onto the desk.

“I have everything under control, and my mind straight. You know how much all of this means to me. I see why you’re nervous, a lot is on the line, and I could make a lot of rash decisions, but I’m not going to. Everything is going to come into place. These next six days are very important.” I walk over to the desk, placing my hands on the edge, feeling the smooth ebony wood.

Junmyeon lifts his head up, exhaustion written across his features.

“I really hope you’re right.”

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ipoddymouth · 7 years ago

Text

Miracle On Whatever Street My Mom Lives On (An ‘Et Al.’ Holiday Drabble)

“Is Santa real?”

That was it. That was the question that fucked me over. There were so many things Moose asked me that I answered without even batting an eye (what’s sex? Handled. How much is crack? I gotchu, sis!), but that was the one question that I legitimately didn’t know how to answer.

It wasn’t like I could call up Flimsy and ask her if she’d had this conversation with her kid yet. Homegirl was literally dead. Her sticker-covered urn was in my living room, and I didn’t own an Ouija board. Her only offspring/living relative I knew about, Moose, was smart and I often couldn’t tell if she was just testing me or not. It’s degrading when a five year old makes you feel like an idiot and I often tried to avoid it. But this time she was looking at me so innocently that I genuinely did not know if this was a trap.

What was I supposed to say?

My mom swore - even to this day - that Santa was real. My mom also smoked anything that could burn for a large part of my childhood and I was a bit more of a realist than she was, so I’d never fully been convinced. I think that she’d wanted for there to be some sort of stability in my nomadic upbringing and there’s nothing more constant than an old, fat, white man always knowing where you are.

Santa was supposed to be fun though, right? And Moose had had a shitty year. Like, she’d lost her mom and was now living with someone not even related to her. She deserved to have a good time; there was no reason for me to swoop in and crush her childlike wonder.

“Yes, Moose, there is a Santa Claus.”

Once the words left my mouth, I knew that I was fucked. I was now officially #n2deep and there was no backing out.

Moose immediately jumped in for the contradiction. I should have kept my big-ass mouth shut. “I know that Mall Santa isn’t real because there’s Santas at every mall ‘n I’m smart enough to know that you can’t be in multiple places at once.”

Honestly, wouldn’t it really have killed Flimsy if she’d given birth to a dumb child?

And did I really need to have phrased it like that?

“Those are fake Santas, you’re correct. The real one’s at the North Pole getting stuff ready for Christmas.” The lie wasn’t effortless, but there wasn’t much hesitation. It should’ve been enough to hold her over until something else captured her attention. Really, the only thing that prevented me from routinely fucking up everything I said was how Moose would move on before the words would even leave my mouth.

But, for some reason, she wasn’t willing to drop the Santa thing. I swear, the kid had never given a flying fuck about Santa her entire life, and now she was apparently gearing up to write a fucking tell-all.

“Can I meet him?”

Moose had essentially just asked me to square the fuck up.

“Yeah. But not right now. He’s super busy this time of year,” I replied quickly. Game, set, match, little twerp!

“When will he not be busy?” Damn, bitch was straight-up about to interrogate me.

“Um… the summer, probably. Less busy then. Better hours,” I nodded at her. It’s fun knowing you’re going to go to hell solely because of the lies you’ve told a semi-innocent demon-child.

Moose’s mouth fell into the perfect frown. Like, a literal upside-down U. Her eyes got super wide, like a bush baby on speed. And they got all watery too. Moose didn’t cry… ever, so I wasn’t sure why the Santa thing was fucking with her so bad. Of course, there was the chance she was doing this on purpose and was totally fucking with me. The kid was crafty: she’d been in the principal’s office multiple times for all of the fast ones she’d pulled on the lil dummies she went to school with.

“It’s not that deep, dude. He keeps a low profile. Do you wanna get donuts?” I tried to steer the conversation back towards safer grounds.

Her frown immediately switched back into a smile. “Yes!”

Victory!

“But all I want for Christmas is to meet the reaaaalll Santa,” she drawled out, staring me dead in the eye. Terrified shivers slithered down my spine. “That’s alllll I want.”

Well, fuck.

I called an emergency meeting at Harry’s house. The emergency meeting could’ve been held at my house, but Harry’s house has more food and better central heating. So even though it was pretty out of the way for all of the people at said emergency meeting to meet there instead of my place, at least the payoff in their end was much better.

“Why are you always here?” Harry asked me as I shoved a holiday cookie in my mouth.

“Your mom sent you cookies,” I told him through the cookie that I was demolishing.

“Why are you opening my mail?”

“Um, we’re related, so that’s technically okay now.” I mean, it was. “Do you think that she’d send me some if you asked her? Like, I’m not her daughter, but I’m still kind of like her daughter.”

Harry couldn’t complain anymore because that was the moment that the rest of the guys and Ella showed up. Ella was the only one of them that Harry was happy to see, which was a bit rude, but I also couldn’t complain anymore because I was about to draft all of them to help me out with my problem.

“Am I missing something?” Harry looked at me. Okay, so maybe he was going to complain some more. Whatever; I’m fine with that.

“It’s about Moose,” I said, waving the guys over so that they too could enjoy the cookies that Harry’s mom had made. Sharing (other people’s food) is caring.

The mention of Moose’s name made everyone stop and pay attention to me. I mean, no one gave a fuck about me or my issues, but they all cared greatly for Moose. I understood that; even though the little grub was generally annoying as hell, she’d remained relatively untainted by the horrors of aging.

Once I finished basking in how I was the sole center of attention, I finally told them why we’d all gathered together. “She’s never had a Christmas without her mom. Or, at least, I’m assuming that she’s never had one without Flimsy. And now Flimsy is dead, so she’s definitely not having another Christmas with her. So we need to go balls to the fucking wall to make sure that this is the best damn Christmas that Moose has ever had.”

“What did you do?” Harry glared. It was kind of rude for him to automatically assume I’d fucked something up, but if I were Harry then I’d totally automatically assume I’d fucked something up. Because, like, I had fucked something up. I had to pull a real-life Santa Claus out of my own ass.

“I just want to give Moose the best Christmas possible,” I blinked innocently.

No one bought it.

Like, at all.

Like, they were literally folding their arms over their chests and staring me down.

Which, like, yes, I was being fake as hell. But my doe-eyed approach typically had a high success rate. I wasn’t sure why it wasn’t working on the people who knew me best. It wasn’t like I ever used that face on them.

“And there’s one more thing,” I added on quickly. Now that my jig was essentially up, I went back to my normal face before I broke the bad news. “I told Moose that Santa’s real and that means we need to prove to her that Santa is real.”

Everyone went quiet.

“She’s… she’s too smart to believe a fake Santa costume,” Niall said slowly.

“Moose is the girl who would tell the other kids on the playground why Santa is illogical,” Ella chimed in. Like, thanks, girl, for showing me how hard this was going to be. “In fact, I’m pretty sure that Moose told one of my brothers that Santa wasn’t real.”

“Why do you have so many brothers?” Niall asked.

“How many brothers do you have?” That was Louis.

“Too many. Back to the Santa issue!” I clapped my hands together before Harry could ask Ella if he could meet her hoard of siblings. I wasn’t sure where their relationship stood at that point, and even though I wanted to somehow know both everything and nothing at the same time, it wasn’t the time. “What are we going to do?”

“Tell her the truth?” Harry Styles, Santa Slayer deadpanned.

“Damn, you’re really no fun, are you?”

“I’m sorry, did no one ever introduce reality to you?” Harry sneered.

“How many lumps of coal did you have to get before you could turn it into that charcoal toothpaste you have in your bathroom?” I shot back. For the second time that day, game, set, and fucking match.

“Verity’s mom convinced me that Santa’s real,” Niall interrupted with complete and utter seriousness.

My mom loved telling people Santa was real, and it was one of the most embarrassing things about her. Like, more embarrassing than how she had me before she was legally able to drive, and also more embarrassing than how she chose to procreate with the unsalted baked potato that was Des. I never talked about the Santa thing with anyone because there was no cool, kitschy way to make it not seem totally fucking weird. It was supposed to follow my family to the grave, where it could then potentially be murdered for a second time, just to ensure it’d never have to be brought up in the future.

Damn it, Veronica. Couldn’t you just stay in your place, wherever that was?

I immediately jumped in to do damage control, but there’s only so much you can do when you know your mom’s already given the full spiel to your incredibly naive best friend. “When did the two of you ever talk about Santa in the first place?” When was Niall hanging around my mom when I wasn’t there? I mean, I knew that it’d happened before, but what the fuck? Normally he told me every single detail because he enjoyed comparing me to my mother, which was another annoyance of mine.

“Veronica and I go way back, Verity,” Niall replied like that meant anything to me.

“We go way back too! She’s my mom!”

“I argue with Verity enough on my own; I don’t need to hear the two of you fight either,” Harry interrupted us, probably because he was feeling left out and he can only survive for mere minutes when all of the attention isn’t on him. “Can you get back to the purpose of this meeting? I have things to do.”

Harry didn’t have anything to do, and if he did then it was something lame that he was better off missing than attending. The dude is really not interesting.

“Help me show Moose that Santa’s real,” I insisted. “Please. All of you. That’s all I ask.”

“You want us to trick the trickster?” Louis asked. “Sounds pretty fucking impossible.”

“A Christmas miracle,” I leveraged.

“Miracles and Santa,” Harry snorted. Seriously, who hurt him? Was he really naturally that awful? “Must be nice having your head so far up in the clouds.”

“Chill out, Krampus,” I rolled my eyes at him. “So, are we in or are we in? I’m only acting like I’m giving you options here; I’ve built an entire lifestyle out of forcing people into doing what I want them to, so there’s really no out as long as I know where you all live.”

“Make your existence sound less illegal,” Ella scolded me. Hm, maybe her and Harry had more in common than I thought.

“I will help you,” Niall, the man of the hour/someone who contractually had to agree to all of my plans (it’s what happens when both of you are reckless; you always have to go along with the other person), insisted. “But do you have a plan?”

Psh.

Hell no, I didn’t have a plan.

“I’m working on it,” I told the room. “And it’s definitely going to work.”

Liam hadn’t been at the emergency meeting because he had to work or whatever. I couldn’t penalize him for having an actual, non-boring job, but it sucked having to recap the entire afternoon to him. I mean, yeah, it only took a few seconds, but those seconds could’ve been spent doing other things, like wallowing in self-pity.

Moose had been propped in front of the television with a giant stash of dinosaur nuggets and a vault of apple juice, watching some annoying animated shit that I would never agree to watch with her. She was in her ~zone~, so I knew she wouldn’t do anything too terrible for a couple hours. I was counting on her to be chill long enough for me to formulate an actual plan, since no one from that afternoon had contributed anything even remotely useful. Honestly, what’s the point of having friends if they can’t solve all of your problems for you?

While Moose was having the time of her kindergarten life, Liam and I were holed up in my room like we were in one of those emergency bunkers that doomsday preppers build. We weren’t coming up for air until I had Santa on lock.

“Why are we hiding from Moose?” Unfortunately, the guy I was banging wasn’t entirely caught up with the crisis mode lifestyle adjustments.

Liam knew I wasn’t about to fuck him because of my strict no-penetration-while-the-child-was-in-the-apartment rule, but I typically didn’t sequester her alone in a room.

“Did you not read the messages?” I asked him. Like, there was literally a fucking group chat made specifically for this event.

“There were 47 of them and the last eight of them are between Ella and Niall talking about the best kinds of frosting to use on Christmas Tree cookies. I figured it wasn’t important,” he shrugged. “Why? Is something wrong with Moose? Does she have the chicken pox or something?”

“Worse,” I shook my head sadly.

Liam looked at me blankly. “You aren’t about to make me guess, are you?”

“No,” I told him and he let out a sigh of relief. “But it really is awful. The only thing Moose wants for Christmas is to meet Santa. The real Santa. None of that mall shit.”

It took Liam a few moments to realize I was being serious. I mean, I was also being dramatic, and he knew that, but there were overall serious tones in the room. Once he figured it out, he spent a few more seconds trying to figure out what he wanted to say.

“This… this doesn’t have to be hard, Ver. There are probably hundreds of Santas you can rent out this time of year. Just hire one of those,” Liam came through quick with the rational response I could’ve used hours ago. “Feed them some facts about her ahead of time so she seems surprised. Parents do this all the time.”

“But it’s Moose,” I stressed, gliding over the fact that I was technically a ‘parent’ in this situation. Like, where had the fucking time gone? “She’ll tear all of those imposters apart. I need the most genuine Santa I can find.”

Liam sighed, falling back on my bed. I’m glad he was calm enough to sleep at a time like this. “Can’t you just ask your mom? This seems like something she’d know how to solve.”

“I’m trying to not ask her for things. You don’t understand how weird she gets about Santa; I’d rather not have to fight with her about this again.” I may have shuddered at the thought, but deep down I knew I would have to consult The Expert sooner rather than later.

Liam pulled me down so that I was resting on top of him. If I wasn’t about to have the stress-induced anxiety attack of a lifetime, I totally would’ve made out with him. But my libido had been shot. “I know you don’t want to talk to her, Ver, but seriously? Who else is better equipped to handle this shit than her?”

“A psychiatrist? Google?” I tried.

“Stop being so difficult, dude, and just ask her.”

It was my turn to let out a deep sigh. “Ugh. I wish she had chicken pox instead of this shit.”

Veronica Clare was my mother, not my sworn enemy. Her and I were super close; probably a lot closer than we should be. But that didn’t mean that I wanted her help with this. I wanted to do everything on my own.

Unfortunately, I knew how much this meant to Moose, and I also knew how often I messed things up.

I had to concede.

Finding my mom was easy because a) she’s my mom and b) she typically had a phone on her ever since she married Clive the Guacamole Guy (he made good guac; his actual job title had nothing to do with food) and became a regular member of society. Clive made enough money for Veronica to keep with her normal busker lifestyle, so while he was doing his shit as an art dealer, my mom… made art?

Anyway, I kicked into her studio like the hellforce that I was, ready sign my soul away in order to help a potentially troubled youth. Like, let’s not pretend like Moose wasn’t going to go through some #phases. I mean, with me as her legal guardian? I went through a phase an hour and both of my parents were still living.

“I need your help,” I announced. No need to beat around the bush!

My mom wiped her paint-colored hands off with a towel as she practically floated her way over to me. Bitch was ethereal, I’d give here that. “With what, petal?”

“I need for Santa to meet Moose.” Wow, it just finds a way to sound even dumber each time I said it out loud.

My mother, to her credit, didn’t flinch. Like, at all. She was almost too calm, if you know what I mean. In fairness, she’d probably been waiting for this day since I was a child. The only man I’d ever even kind of wanted to meet was my biological father (imagine my disappointment when I found it was just Des’ old baldin’ ass), so Santa never held any appeal to me. He, much like my father for all those years, was just another mythological being. Like, at least my dad paid taxes.

“I’ve been waiting for this day!” my mom cried out with outstretched arms. See? I told you. The bitch loved Santa.

“Please sound a little less excited,” I replied with a slight frown. I knew what was coming next. Things were going to take a turn for the worse.

“Well, I happen to know Santa!” she exclaimed in a concerningly non-joking manner.

Ah, yes, the worse was here.

“You’re kidding me, right?” I narrowed my eyes at her.

“Oh, petal, quit being such a non-believer! Who do you think gave you all those Christmas presents when you were young? We were poor; you know I couldn’t get you all of them.”

“They came from homeless shelters and charities. I was one of those kids who’s name was on a little tag on a tree. People would pick it off and buy me presents and then drop them off and there we go.” Just because I wasn’t the smartest person on the planet, it didn’t mean I didn’t know how being both poor and a child worked.

Veronica gave me soft smile, reaching out and playing with the ends of my hair. “Oh, petal, no. That never happened.”

“It did, though.”

“Okay, it happened, but that’s not where all of the gifts came from. Some came from Santa, I swear.”

I could’ve argued to have my mother institutionalized, but I didn’t know if that would actually help anything. Like, was there any point in me trying to convince her otherwise? Clive probably knew about her weird Santa thing and he married her anyway, so I guess this wasn’t a controversial issue for everyone. To me, it was plain-fucking weird, but maybe this was the universe’s way of presenting me with a solution to my problem.

“Well, can you get Santa to meet Moose? It’s urgent.”

Not a second passed.

“Sure, Petal. I can see if he can swing by my holiday party this weekend. You and your friends are coming, right? Santa will only be able to stay for a couple minutes and he probably won’t be able to bring any of the elaborate gifts because it’s so close to Christmas and all, but he’ll probably have activity books. Moose still likes those, right?” She said in one breath as she fluttered around her studio.

I stared at her, my mouth slightly open. Like, I didn’t think she was going to commit this hard. The things Clare women will do for a bit, I guess.

“I, uh, yeah, sure. We’ll all be there.” Was I supposed to thank her? I think I was supposed to thank her. I mean, in the odd chance she actually had a convincing Santa come through and not ruin Christmas for an innocent child.

A weird thing had happened where even though I knew Moose wasn’t my child and I had no reason to, like, care all that much about how she acted-slash-looked, ever since she’d been shacking up in my apartment, I felt like I had to make sure she was on her best behavior and looked at least kind of okay. Not, like, great or anything, since I’m literally a blood relative of Harry Styles: World’s Worst Dresser, but good enough for someone to not call CPS every time the kid walked into a room.

I didn’t want to enforce gender roles on her and shove her in a dress, but the only decent thing she had was a dress, so I wrestled her into one before brushing her hair and making sure there wasn’t dirt in her teeth or whatever gross things kids acquire.

I looked… okay…, which was good enough for me.

“Is Santa going to be here?” Moose asked. Yet again, I couldn’t tell if she was testing me or not.

“If everything goes the way it should, then yes, you should be meeting Santa soon.” Was I not playing it cool enough? Veronica was reliable enough (she managed to keep me alive and out of jail), but, like, this was fucking Santa we were talking about. Could she work that one?

Moose looked up at Liam, who was riding over to my mom’s with us. “Will Santa be there?” Um, what the hell, bitch, wasn’t I all the validation you needed?

“Of course!” Liam smiled without hesitation. He was able to do that because he didn’t have to live with Moose, so he wouldn’t have to hear the inevitable fallout when she found out Santa wasn’t real.

The kid rode that high all the way to Veronica(and Clive and Raf)’s house. Meanwhile, I wondered if this was going to be the panic attack that finally took me out. I knew the situation wasn’t, like, dire whatsoever, but this somehow felt more daunting than signing the guardianship papers that allowed me to have legal responsibility of Moose. I started stress-squeezing Liam’s hand with such ferocity that he started pretending he needed both of his hands to fake-text people on his phone. Well played.

Moose immediately went on alert mode the second we stepped into Veronica’s place. She was keeping her eyes peeled for Santa. She looked like a damn meerkat. Moose was so ready to throw down that she literally stopped talking to Liam mid-sentence so that she could begin her hunt. What had I created?

“Wait!” I grabbed Moose’s arm before she could go and do whatever the hell it was kids do at someone else’s house. I pulled her close to me so that I could hiss threatening messages into her ear. “Keep your Santa propaganda to yourself,” I whispered to her. I didn’t want for her to hype up all of the other kids just to have them all get their lives ruined. Like, that would suck for literally everyone.

The gremlin shot me an annoyed look but nodded. I’d trained her well.

“Now, be free,” I commanded, letting go of her arm.

Moose tore off like a rocket so that she could wreak havoc upon people who didn’t have to speak to her on a regular basis.

“Relax, Ver, it’ll be fine,” Liam assured me before my step-sister swooped in so that she could tell Liam something wildly uninteresting. It wasn’t her fault it was boring; there’s just nothing interesting about being fifteen.

For the next twenty minutes, I forgot about the Moose-and-Santa thing. I was at my mom’s house with some of my best friends, so I logically wasn’t going to spend all of my time worrying about a malleable five year old. Like, I was a full nogg-and-a-half in before I realized I’d been stressed out all week about this party, and now Moose was nowhere to be found. I didn’t care about all the work I’d put into this (stop: I did some work). Santa whom? I wasn’t even worried about where she was. She could’ve been playing in traffic and I was so at ease that I would’ve just told her to not get her dress yet. And, knowing her, she probably really was playing in traffic. I was never going to see here again.

That is, until she barrelled directly into my legs.

I literally doubled over because Moose had almost taken out both of my kneecaps in one foul swoop.

“He knew my name!” she whispered excitedly. “Santa knows my name!”

“Moose?” Like, that was all we’d been calling her since… forever? I didn’t even know Moose’s real name until she showed up at my house. Even at that party, she was getting introduced as Moose.

“Maisie!” she shrieked. “He knew my name was Maisie! I never tell anyone that!”

I didn’t have the heart to tell her that both my mother and the entire New York Public Schools System had direct access to her real name. I was just happy she was going with this whole Santa thing.

“That’s… that’s great, dude!” I smiled at her. Huh, I guess my mom really had pulled this off. The bitch was good at what she did.

“He also said that he would bring you gifts every year, ‘n that sometimes you wouldn’t really believe it ‘cause you’d get presents from nice people -- charity… oh, that rhymes with Verity! -- oh, um, he said that you’d get presents from charity, but even when the charities couldn’t find you tha- that he’d still bring you gifts.”

I blinked. “Excuse me?”

Moose kept ramblin’ on, havin’ a good-ass time. “Yeahhhh, because one time you moved right before Christmas ‘n there wasn’t enough time for you to get on a present list but Santa still came and brought you presents anyway because he didn’t want for you to not get anything ‘cause he knew your mommy couldn’t buy stuff!”

I stared at her.

“Man, I love Christmas, Variety!” she said with a happy sigh, slapping me on the arm and skipping off to go become an evangelical Santa fan.

I was so in shock by her a) knowing about my time as an impoverished youth and b) her somehow gaining this information by a man named as Santa that I didn’t even have the chance to make a scene and scold her for calling me ‘Variety.’ Like, I didn’t call her ‘Maisie’; she could extend the same courtesy towards me.

“Why do you look like you’ve just found out we’re related for the first time?” I think Harry was making a joke, but since he’d never intentionally said anything funny in his entire life, I couldn’t be too sure.

He did, however, seem a little too smug. I mean, yeah, that was just how his face looked a lot of the time, but in this situation, it meant a lot more. I yanked his arm and dragged him to the corner of the room, away from all the festivities taking place around us. It was about to be a damn interrogation up in this bitch.

“Was that you in the Santa costume?” I hadn’t noticed him in the room (I hadn’t even noticed him at the party, tee bee aych. The guy can best be described as the word ‘beige’ come to life.), but that would’ve given him ample opportunity to slide off and do this little stint. Niall was nowhere smooth enough to pull this off, Louis couldn’t hide his accent to save his life, Zayn hated me/wasn’t even invited, and Liam was too hot to ever dress up as Santa, and it was clearly someone I knew.

Harry played dumb. I hate calling him smart, but he was smart enough to know when to play dumb. Rather unconvincingly, if I might add. Acting was definitely not this kid’s forte. “Why would I have been in a Santa costume?”

“Well someone had to be inside of it!”

“Yeah, and that someone doesn’t have to have been me,” he scoffed. “It’s not me!” he insisted as I continued glaring. “Verity, I swear, that wasn’t me.”

“I don’t believe you!”

“You don’t have to believe me! But it doesn’t change how it still wasn’t me!” He was getting annoyed now. “I don’t even believe in Santa; why would I want for Moose to believe in something just as fake?” he grumbled.

“Damn, Scrooge McDuck, what’s so bad about having a little fun?” I smirked at him. “Come on, just admit that your alter ego wanted to help me out some and then we can move on.”

My brother didn’t see the fun in this. “Would you stop? I already said it wasn’t me! I never even saw someone dressed like Santa even walk in here! God, you and your mom just never know when to quit!” he threw his hands up in exasperation before stomping off, probably grumbling insults about me to himself.

“Wait! If it wasn’t you, then who was it?” I called after him

Harry glared at me over his shoulder, still walking away. Homie didn’t even have the decency to stop in his tracks. ��I guess Santa’s fucking real after all!”

#technically i wrote this last year #and just added random sentences this year #since it was a part of the series i never fully posted #anyway if yall remember et al then youll probs appreciate this more than if u dont know what et al is #poddywrites #also the italics didnt copy so yallre on your own #tryna figure out what i italicized #hint: its p much every other word

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danielleslie1 · 7 years ago

Text

[LTR] Not trying to get her back, just need to get it off my chest.

I used to post here. I used to have good game, be a player, sleep around. Reached the point where I felt like I could get anybody I wanted, which was great (that’s the point where I switched to that pseudo; had a lot more posts to the previous one, which some people here might remember; doesn’t matter much anyway). But it also left me feeling like I could never be satisfied. Like a long-term relationship would be impossible for me, I would get bored fast, and I would spend my life just doing hookups. Hence that profile picture. Than I met that girl. She was just supposed to be a one-night stand, but the connection was real, intense. Suddenly no interest in other girls, at all. Just the idea of kissing another girl feels gross, like kissing a dude. Didn’t think it was possible, unless I experienced it myself. Fast-forward to 2 years and a half later. We moved to her native country (Japan). We’re engaged. We’re texting all day long. We lived together for a bit, until she started that new job: 4 months in-house training, living inside the company. Suddenly, no time to chat, no time to meet (they have curfew (Japanese companies are effed up)). She’s two months and a half in, and last night she said she wasn’t sure. She doesn’t want to live together anymore. She doesn’t want to get married anymore. She wants to take a break, and focus on her job for now. This… hurts. I guess I kinda saw it coming, but I didn’t think she would go all the way. I told her I was worried her job would change her and she would lose interest. I told her I was worried because when we met I was a player (I mean, I stole her from one of my roommates, and then slept with her two best friends while we were on a one day break; as I said, I was f*d up, and that was the only way I had of helping my poor self-esteem), and now that I was becoming a settled down good guy she would lose interest. I told her I was worried because all of my previous LTRs ended up after 2 years and a half with girls losing interest, and her job was coming at a terrible time. I figured talking about it would prevent it, guess it didn’t work (quite the opposite). On the other hand I wasn’t going to cheat on her just to keep her interested, or prevent her from taking the job, so not sure what I could have done. I started acting angry and whiny, until I remember my PUA training: baaarely saved the situation and managed to take control, said it was ok, said a break was probably good for both of us. I set down some rules (no hooking up with other people (both of us), and we meet at least once before she leaves for her final work place (every previous issue has been settled as soon as we saw each other eye to eye, so it will be the final test). Warned her that it was awkward but a package was on its way already to her place (sent her her favorite chocolate a couple days ago as a surprise, to show some support for her work) and she could keep it, have a good night, turned off my phone and went to “sleep” (aka “6 hours of turning in bed wondering wtf I’m going to do with my life”). My Plan moving forward Soooo I’m going full NC now I guess. This is weird considering it’s the person I’ve been exchanging texts with every 10mn for the last two years and a half, and it’s honestly painful. But luckily I have very good discipline and willpower - something that saved me soooo many times back in the day, and allowed me to get lays waaay better than I deserved, by keeping a strong as steel frame at all times. Like taking brutal shit tests from HB10s without flinching, or pushing that HB10 even though your whole body is screaming to pull. That small PUA voice at the back of my head, who keeps emotions in check, and whispers “it’s ok man, believe in the game, believe in your experience; you want to do something else, but you know what you should do.” She already texted me actually, asking what’s in the box (;)) but again, keeping my frame, not answering until tonight, and then just short sentences and no feelings or whining or whatever. I read again some posts here, that also helped a lot. In the last 4-5 years, this community and this site helped me a lot, and I’m really grateful about that. And to be honest, I’m considering it over. I know it’s only a break, and I know her, it’s not a lame-ass excuse to go see what’s out there. I know she’s working and studying every waking hour, and I know she really wants to focus on that. On the other hand, I don’t believe in breaks. It’s just a slow break-up. So I’m not hoping on getting her back (I mean, there is a tiny sliver of hope, but I’m trying not to listen to it). If I do, cool, but I’m already preparing for the break-up and for single life. Already packed all her stuff and hid it (to help with going NC), already accepted several party invitations I would have been too lazy to go to otherwise. I’m not planning on hooking up any time soon (I’m too rusty, and honestly sleeping with someone who’s not her would probably be more depressing than anything else), hence the “no hooking up” rule. Instead, I’m taking this “break” as “2-4 weeks of training to go back into single life”. What I’m looking forward to

Getting a life back. If I’m honest, my life recently was almost only about us, and was kinda boring. Now that it’s gone, I’ll have to find again who I am.

I finally have a settled fulltime job, a good apartment, a long term visa, I make good money, and I had a stable relationship. After years of fighting every day, it felt honestly boring. At least now I get something to fix

I honestly love the game. I spent the last two years missing it - not sleeping with other girls, just the whole banter, the texting, the shit tests, the dates. The hunt, basically. Now I can enjoy it a bit more

Girls in Japan are seriously HOT. So many hot girls everywhere

Honestly, it was a great relationship. I was in love, something that I would have thought impossible a couple years ago. No matter what happens in the future, I can always be satisfied that I’ve been lucky enough to feel this in my life

It’s not the first time it happens, and every time it did, it went the same way: I worked hard to improve myself to get the girl back. Became a better value person. Met someone new who was twice better than the ex. Felt a bit embarrassed for the ex when she tried to come back. So now that this girl was literally perfect (funny, smart, independant, super cute AND great body, loved sex more than me, same values), I’m kinda curious who will be next. If she’s twice as good too… damn.

What I’m NOT looking forward to

Other people. I can get over the breakup, but the idea of having to tell my family, my friends, my roommates, coworkers, that my fiancée left is just crushing. And then having to introduce a future new one to everybody (especially the family) is fucked up.

It was a very intense and fusional relationship, with a lot of sex. So I’m worried about how long it will take to hug/kiss/sex another girl without having flashbacks of her

It took 10 years of sleeping around to find a girl as good as her. Not looking forward to 10 more years. I’m just tired of that shit.

On that note, I’m already 32yo. Considering the time to find a new relationships, go through a couple relationships that don’t work, then start to settle, get engaged, married, etc., I’m starting to wonder if I’ll ever manage to have kids some day. That’s honestly the most depressive point, since it my one last objective in life.

Proposing again. I did the perfect proposal. Got the perfect ring, the perfect place, made the perfect plan, the perfect surprise. It was exactly like I wanted it to be, was wonderful. Now, if I have to propose again, either I do the same thing again, which would feel terrible, or I have to do something subpar, which isn’t much better. Going back to the jewelry shop again and asking for “another engagement ring please!” is as sad as it is funny.

No offense, but most Japanese girls are dumb as posts. They’ve been taught since childhood that being smart was bad, that going to a good university meant you couldn’t get married, etc. A lot of Japanese guys also shun girls who are too well educated or too smart, which doesn’t help. As a result, finding a cute girl is easy, but a cute girl who can have a conversation… really tough.

Also, meeting new people in Japan is incredibly difficult, as there are a lot of social barriers. And since like in most countries people hang out mostly with their network from their university years (something I don’t have here), it’s going to be tough. Not impossible, but tough.

Anyway, not sure why I posted here. I really needed to get it off my chest, and people here have always been supportive, which I needed right now. Also it helps a lot preventing those human but beta urges such as passive-agressive posting on Facebook, drunk texting her, and whining to our mutual friends. If anybody took the time to read all this, thanks a lot, and have a great day m(_ _)m

from PUA Forum http://www.puaforums.com/how-get-your-ex-back/31981-ltr-not-trying-get-her-back-just-need-get-off-my-chest.html from PUA Forum https://puaforumscom.tumblr.com/post/161879106968

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puaforumscom · 7 years ago

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[LTR] Not trying to get her back, just need to get it off my chest.

I used to post here. I used to have good game, be a player, sleep around. Reached the point where I felt like I could get anybody I wanted, which was great (that's the point where I switched to that pseudo; had a lot more posts to the previous one, which some people here might remember; doesn't matter much anyway). But it also left me feeling like I could never be satisfied. Like a long-term relationship would be impossible for me, I would get bored fast, and I would spend my life just doing hookups. Hence that profile picture. Than I met that girl. She was just supposed to be a one-night stand, but the connection was real, intense. Suddenly no interest in other girls, at all. Just the idea of kissing another girl feels gross, like kissing a dude. Didn't think it was possible, unless I experienced it myself. Fast-forward to 2 years and a half later. We moved to her native country (Japan). We're engaged. We're texting all day long. We lived together for a bit, until she started that new job: 4 months in-house training, living inside the company. Suddenly, no time to chat, no time to meet (they have curfew (Japanese companies are effed up)). She's two months and a half in, and last night she said she wasn't sure. She doesn't want to live together anymore. She doesn't want to get married anymore. She wants to take a break, and focus on her job for now. This... hurts. I guess I kinda saw it coming, but I didn't think she would go all the way. I told her I was worried her job would change her and she would lose interest. I told her I was worried because when we met I was a player (I mean, I stole her from one of my roommates, and then slept with her two best friends while we were on a one day break; as I said, I was f*d up, and that was the only way I had of helping my poor self-esteem), and now that I was becoming a settled down good guy she would lose interest. I told her I was worried because all of my previous LTRs ended up after 2 years and a half with girls losing interest, and her job was coming at a terrible time. I figured talking about it would prevent it, guess it didn't work (quite the opposite). On the other hand I wasn't going to cheat on her just to keep her interested, or prevent her from taking the job, so not sure what I could have done. I started acting angry and whiny, until I remember my PUA training: baaarely saved the situation and managed to take control, said it was ok, said a break was probably good for both of us. I set down some rules (no hooking up with other people (both of us), and we meet at least once before she leaves for her final work place (every previous issue has been settled as soon as we saw each other eye to eye, so it will be the final test). Warned her that it was awkward but a package was on its way already to her place (sent her her favorite chocolate a couple days ago as a surprise, to show some support for her work) and she could keep it, have a good night, turned off my phone and went to "sleep" (aka "6 hours of turning in bed wondering wtf I'm going to do with my life"). My Plan moving forward Soooo I'm going full NC now I guess. This is weird considering it's the person I've been exchanging texts with every 10mn for the last two years and a half, and it's honestly painful. But luckily I have very good discipline and willpower - something that saved me soooo many times back in the day, and allowed me to get lays waaay better than I deserved, by keeping a strong as steel frame at all times. Like taking brutal shit tests from HB10s without flinching, or pushing that HB10 even though your whole body is screaming to pull. That small PUA voice at the back of my head, who keeps emotions in check, and whispers "it's ok man, believe in the game, believe in your experience; you want to do something else, but you know what you should do." She already texted me actually, asking what's in the box (;)) but again, keeping my frame, not answering until tonight, and then just short sentences and no feelings or whining or whatever. I read again some posts here, that also helped a lot. In the last 4-5 years, this community and this site helped me a lot, and I'm really grateful about that. And to be honest, I'm considering it over. I know it's only a break, and I know her, it's not a lame-ass excuse to go see what's out there. I know she's working and studying every waking hour, and I know she really wants to focus on that. On the other hand, I don't believe in breaks. It's just a slow break-up. So I'm not hoping on getting her back (I mean, there is a tiny sliver of hope, but I'm trying not to listen to it). If I do, cool, but I'm already preparing for the break-up and for single life. Already packed all her stuff and hid it (to help with going NC), already accepted several party invitations I would have been too lazy to go to otherwise. I'm not planning on hooking up any time soon (I'm too rusty, and honestly sleeping with someone who's not her would probably be more depressing than anything else), hence the "no hooking up" rule. Instead, I'm taking this "break" as "2-4 weeks of training to go back into single life". What I'm looking forward to

Getting a life back. If I'm honest, my life recently was almost only about us, and was kinda boring. Now that it's gone, I'll have to find again who I am.

Girls in Japan are seriously HOT. So many hot girls everywhere

It's not the first time it happens, and every time it did, it went the same way: I worked hard to improve myself to get the girl back. Became a better value person. Met someone new who was twice better than the ex. Felt a bit embarrassed for the ex when she tried to come back. So now that this girl was literally perfect (funny, smart, independant, super cute AND great body, loved sex more than me, same values), I'm kinda curious who will be next. If she's twice as good too... damn.

What I'm NOT looking forward to

It was a very intense and fusional relationship, with a lot of sex. So I'm worried about how long it will take to hug/kiss/sex another girl without having flashbacks of her

It took 10 years of sleeping around to find a girl as good as her. Not looking forward to 10 more years. I'm just tired of that shit.

On that note, I'm already 32yo. Considering the time to find a new relationships, go through a couple relationships that don't work, then start to settle, get engaged, married, etc., I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever manage to have kids some day. That's honestly the most depressive point, since it my one last objective in life.

Proposing again. I did the perfect proposal. Got the perfect ring, the perfect place, made the perfect plan, the perfect surprise. It was exactly like I wanted it to be, was wonderful. Now, if I have to propose again, either I do the same thing again, which would feel terrible, or I have to do something subpar, which isn't much better. Going back to the jewelry shop again and asking for "another engagement ring please!" is as sad as it is funny.

No offense, but most Japanese girls are dumb as posts. They've been taught since childhood that being smart was bad, that going to a good university meant you couldn't get married, etc. A lot of Japanese guys also shun girls who are too well educated or too smart, which doesn't help. As a result, finding a cute girl is easy, but a cute girl who can have a conversation... really tough.

Also, meeting new people in Japan is incredibly difficult, as there are a lot of social barriers. And since like in most countries people hang out mostly with their network from their university years (something I don't have here), it's going to be tough. Not impossible, but tough.

from PUA Forum http://www.puaforums.com/how-get-your-ex-back/31981-ltr-not-trying-get-her-back-just-need-get-off-my-chest.html

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violetbeachpod · 7 years ago

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TRANSCRIPT: 1x01 - Twelve Oh One

Hey, folks! Bee here. Y’all reached out to me about transcripts awhile back, and, hey, since the season’s over, I’m gonna start posting them! As a person with attention issues, I super get the need for transcripts, and I’m sorry for not delivering on them sooner.

I’m also reediting episodes right now, so. Those corrections will be posted about as they happen. Anyway. Here we go. Episode one, which you can listen to here, if you so please.

TERESA:

Okay, so--it’s recording. Cool .

Um. It’s Wednesday. It’s been nine days since--eight days, maybe? --well, if you’re listening, at this point, you know what it was--Benji says we’re gonna publish this, but, like, no. That’s--that’s ridiculous. This is for science.

Or our memoirs. Whatever.

We’ve--the seven of us have decided to keep a log. Of what’s been going on.

Um. So. Cool. Name and deets, just in case some more weird memory shit goes down--My name��s Teresa. I’m eighteen. I’m an Aries, I like bowling and shitty pop music, and only mostly ironically. That enough fluff? I’m a freshman at, ah, Lands College, here in town, and. Studying journalism, with a minor in women’s studies, uh--anything else--I feel like this would be a better story if I start showing, rather than telling.

Or, like. Telling stories rather than just reading out my dating profile. Because that’s lame.

My dating profile’s actually--it’s a lot more detailed than that. I’m on, like, seven different sites, and every profile is. Very Different.

(text notification sound)

[lean away from mic]

Anj, stop--stop listening in! You--you--dude, take a nap.

[and we’re back]

So. Anyway. Here’s what we know.

[long beat]

But. Back to the point.

Y’know how, in movies, people are always like, “Nobody knows except for us?”

That’s so exclusive. So presumptuous. We don’t know if people are lying. We haven’t spoken to every person on the planet--we haven’t even spoken to anyone outside of Maryland. Outside of town. Like. We’ve watched news, but God knows, some of those conspiracies about hypnosis through CNN are real, or whatever. Y’know? Like--those conspiracies are almost exclusively believed in by, like, flat-earthing racists, so, like, they’re probably, definitely super wrong, but--I was making a joke and I’m overthinking it now. Cool.

Anyway. We don’t know who knows. Maybe someone in, like, Caracas, knows? Maybe someone in--you get my point--knows.

Or maybe we’re being Truman Showed. Wouldn’t be the worst theory to have come out of this.

I would--well, I’d hate it, but one time, back in middle school, the public library did these--these movie nights for teenagers, right? And, so, uh, a bunch of us were there, and I was sitting with Angie, cuz she was--she was the only person I knew there, of course, and she was sitting with these kids, like--uh, from the hippie school she had taken in, and--one of them was AJ, I know, and one was Charlotte. but the others, I don’t see anymore.

But anyway, she was, like, starry-eyed at the idea of her life being a TV show without her knowing. At the idea of unintentional stardoms. So maybe she’ll get a kick out of that theory.

Here’s something: I was working on my campaign notes earlier, cuz the group’s meeting tomorrow, should meet tomorrow and I didn’t really--I didn’t like a few of the potentials, so, whatever. Irrelevant.

I checked the time, and--well. It was twelve oh one. And two minutes later, it was still twelve oh one. And now, it’s still twelve oh one.

I thought maybe my laptop was being bad again? But it said the same on my phone, and on the wall clock.

The app says time is passing. It’s been longer than fifty-nine seconds.

It’s still twelve oh one, though, is the thing. Which isn’t great, all things considered.

But, we’ll catch up on that later.

Here’s the big thing. I went back to the beach last night to see if I could recreate what happened alone, and, uh--at least. I think I did. I don’t remember going, but, uh, Angie says I did, and AJ said that when he was closing at work, he saw me walking towards it. But I didn’t--I didn’t go.

There are sixty-nine--which, yeah, nice, that’s the sex number, whatever--sticky notes on the bathroom mirror, and, like--I can make out letters on some of them them? Individual letters? But not words. And I know that they’re making words, and I know that it’s my handwriting, but my brain just--it goes somewhere else.

And other ones, that I can read, they have dumb stuff. One of them’s just a doodle of David Hyde Pierce with a caption that just says “HELL YEAH. LOOK AT THE MOON WEDNESDAY.”

It’s, like--in fairness to me, or the person I assume to be me, it’s a fairly good David Hyde Pierce. And there’s--there’s a new moon tonight, so--well.

Whatever.

It’s still twelve oh--oop. Nevermind. Twelve oh two now. Nice.

Benji wants me to take off work until this whole thing’s sorted out. Says he’ll still pay me, but, like--being yelled at by awful dudes about trivia that nobody knows is kind of the only constant in my life right now? So I said no. Obviously. Like. It sucks, but it makes me feel normal. Like the beach out by Angie’s place did, before--

Well. Maybe some recollection would be nice, I guess. Just so, like, Danny and company--like, if we end up showing them. Cuz I’m better at sticking to the facts than, say, Robin or Charlotte. So. Yeah.

So. Uh.

Most folks know that she transferred in after a semester at--well, I’m not allowed to say the name of the school in front of her, anymore, and she’s, like, giving me death-eyes out of the bedroom door. But. A certain Ivy League school. This is relevant--

So I said, “You know, I have a single.” And she said--wait, lemme find my journal--yes, I do write down conversations, Angie.

Alright. She said, “Oh, really, is it on--Bandcamp, Soundcloud, iTunes, MySpace? I didn’t know you--” And I said, “I meant dorm room, dude, you mentioned--MySpace?”

She said, “I still use it.” I laughed, “Of course you do.”

But, anyway. We agreed to live together, but. It was one AM. Robin Cabell dropped by with her new fiancee, said hi, and--well, like, our babysitter’s getting married, to, like, this gorgeous girl from DC, and the high school kids from the hippie school were there, and Benji was there, cuz he’s everywhere, and--

As folks left--Angie started playing Wonderwall around 3AM, so, uh, a little bit before then--it ended up just being the seven of us. Her parents are out of town--as always. Well, not always. But frequently.

They’re mad about--Blarvardgate.

I--I didn’t say it! I said something mildly close alluding to it. Stop texting me!

But. It was just the seven of us there, Angie still playing some terrible 90s song, and--Benji says, “I brought fireworks. Forgot about that til now.” Elaine, uh, Robin’s new fiancee, asked, “They legal?”

Benji said, “It’s New Year’s Day and I’m a--a bit of a town celebrity,” he said, because his podcast gets, like, seventeen downloads per episode.

“You are?” asked Elaine.

He got really proud, real fast, and he said, “Yes, absolutely, and also, I’m at some rich people’s house and it’s New Year’s Day, so, like. We’ll be fine.”

Which, fair.

And that’s about when things blew up?

Ironically, not literally, cuz he went to his truck, and brought out the fireworks, and he was--well. It was New Year’s, he wasn’t sober, so, he tripped, and those things went flying, landing in the water. It was a bad fall, he hit his head on a rock. And Charlotte was laughing, and she was wading right where the waves were breaking, and she fell backwards, so--AJ panicked, and he jumped in after her, cuz she wasn’t coming up.

And AJ came up, holding Char so she could stand, and she was coughing up water, looked like she was about to pass out. I was checking out Benji’s wound, even though, I’m, like,--blood? Not my thing, ever, at all, it’s--it’s weird and red, and Angie was getting up to check on me, and Rob and her fiancee were trying to help out the kids, and--

And the sky went bright purple.

Not, like, when it’s a sunset, and the sky’s kinda magenta? And that’s blending into the night-sky color, but--

Like, highest saturation on photoshop, highest brightness, makes-you-almost vomit cuz your eyes are burning, that bright purple.

And my skin, it felt like it was burning. I smelled salt, felt a breeze, and I tried to close my eyes, to breathe out, but I couldn’t.

And then there was nothing.

And then I woke up on the beach. I could smell salt, I was totally clear-headed--and Benji’s cut? It was gone.

My watch said it was around 4AM. My phone was dead, but--it was the first, still. The sun was rising, in--in normal sky colors.

And I woke up second. Elaine was already up.

She asked me if I saw it too.

I said I that did.

Neither of us needed to clarify what. But we did. Obviously. Because “it” could be, like, anything, like--could be that new reality show that everyone’s super into where eliminations are decided by arm wrestles--it’s, like--it’s got compelling storylines, I swear.

My phone died, Angie, so if you’re trying to communicate, I can’t help you.

Oh! Time’s passing normally now. That’s nice. That’s good.

The plan was to recount the past week’s events, as well as their psychological effect on us. That’s what we agreed on.

So. Time stopped for a little while today. That was weird. That’s important.

I guess--I’m first, so I should talk about my other big experience too.

I was the fourth of us to see something, after it all? It was the third. After work, I was walkin’ to Ramon’s? And as I passed the custard stand, I saw this woman.

She took off her sunglasses, yeah? And the sky flashed purple--the same purple, the same burning feeling all over me--

And then the same nothingness, same smell of salt, same breeze, but--

I was still standing. And we were in this space, this--this purple nothingness, no ground, no sky, no nothing, that’s a double negative, you get what I mean, and--I was still standing--more floating, which was--not as pleasant as you’d expect? But not unpleasant, either. And this woman, she looked at me, dead in the eyes, and--

And she said--

[beat, uncomfortable]

What did she say?

[laughs]

It’s--it’s in my head, like. Tip of my tongue. I wrote it down, but it’s--it’s another individual letters making out a word I know but can’t--type situation.

But whatever.

What I’m most concerned about is my going to the beach. About the sticky notes. Like, that’s some sci-fi bullshit. Or some horror bullshit. Either or. Probably both.

Again, Truman Showed. Viable theory, here.

Or it has something to do with the Groundhog Day thing. Maybe.

I think what bothers me about this is how easy I’m accepting all this--that, like, I’m fairly sure all this is real. I know it’s--it’s weird. I know that this is sci-fi-esque, but, like--I never saw myself as a protagonist, or--any kind of tagonist, I guess, in those stories. But this--now, I think that I am.

So. Cool.

But why do I think that’s cool? I’m the--I’m the socially-stilted nerdy girl who either dies second or gets really good at guns, and I’m very afraid of guns.

So, therefore? I’m dying second.

Or, or or or, I’m Lois Lane. Charming and tough young journalist, swept off her feet by a charming stranger. Hopefully not a Superman, though, cuz--he’s not my thing. But. Yeah. I can deal with Lois.

I feel like I should know what happens next. Me or Benji, we gotta, we’re the ones who know genre like the backs of our hands. That’s why we’re friends, but--

This isn’t supposed to happen here. Like, I grew up here, and I’m--I wasn’t planning to stay here forever, obviously, but--This town, VB, it’s--it’s comforting in its boringness. Sure, it’s not-- the people here are always cycling in-and-out, cuz tourism and school, and all that, but--Violet Beach is a normal-ass town. We don’t have ghost stories, we don’t have cryptids, we--we don’t have lore, or whatever. I don’t think there’s ever been a murder here, for God’s sake.

Okay, well--the hippie school’s headmaster, uh, the rebrander guy, Andrew Corielli, or--his son’s the mayor, right?--Shot that grocer, like, in the sixties. But everyone was a serial killer back then, if I can trust every true crime show ever.

But--my point is. What’s going on is not what happens in this town. What’s going on is what goes on in, like, Roswell, or--or Twin Peaks, or something.

I’m--I don’t have much else to say. That’s a conclusion if there ever was one. So. Uh.

Okay. I’m signing off. Thanks, guys. Hope to see you soon.

#transcripts #season 1 #teresa #violet beach #violet beach podcast

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