#and i like that more than ted being alone

[luciusspriggss]

thoughts.

the whole dream sequence felt like an actual dream. the future he hopes to happen. because he thinks none of them need him anymore.

i feel insane for thinking there will be another season, movie, spin-off, etc. to see what actually happens to everyone after he is gone, and ted lasso himself, but i feel like they are hinting at it?

rebecca and sam never got resolved, because ted didnt know about rebecca and sam.

he imagines beard and jane getting married, but it was stated from the beginning beard doesnt like marriage. and i know you could argue that he changed his mind because of jane, but i personally see them doing some weird shit and ted somehow being involved. i don't understand why ted wouldn't be there (unless he thinks beard doesnt want him anymore)

can keep going on about all the different futures and how ted isn't in ANY of them, AND it cuts to him waking up?

it's depressing because it seems like ted only feels like he is useful for helping people better themselves, and once they are good he leaves. like that is his job. he helps others. he keeps finding people to help.

never once doing anything for himself. it's like he doesn't think he can be part of anything that is lasting. it is just so fucking sad

and in the end he is coaching his son, but to me he doesn't look happy? i dunno if it is because i am autistic or something?

also, bitter that ted and trent never had a heart to heart like everyone else did. i'm not saying they needed to acknowledge ted and trent being a thing, their story just seems unfinished.

in his dream sequence, he finishes it, thinks it needs to be renamed, and trent becomes a best selling author

i dunno, it just feels unfinished because we don't know anything about trent's book or how ted actually feels about it, and if he ever reads the full thing at all. from what we have seen from ted's perspective, is him making it to 40something. we never see him read the entire book, he always puts it down.

the whole future montage just felt like a dream to me the whole time of what ted thinks is best for everyone

i dunno. i could be completely wrong, but the show feels unfinished. i guess i'm a BELIEVER there is going to be closure in some way kind of

or MAYBE that is the whole point. we have to look at everything that was shown to us, the implications that ted dreamed of that future, where he ultimately ends up, and we need to BELIEVE he is going to do what's best for him, which is going back to Richmond.

they don't want to show us it, we have to believe?

oh boy do i got them clown shoes on you best believe

[deepseawave]

obsessed w the tags on ur last reblog

Omgg, thank you haha, it was a quality post so I just had to appreciate it in full force 😂❤️

Can‘t believe someone would actually enjoy my yapping :,D

[theodore-sallis]

“The Demon Plague!” Fear (Vol. 1/1970), #14.

Writer: Steve Gerber; Penciler: Val Mayerik; Inker: Chic Stone; Colorist: Stan Goldberg; Letterer: Artie Simek

[sant-riley]

[Random Task force 141 × gen z! member headcanons]

A/N: Reader goes by the codename Teddy in my writing! Along with she/her pronouns :) I am also extremely biased with Ghost so her main pairing is more towards with him compared to the others <3. I know absolutely nothing about the military so this is not accurate I am so sorry💀.

CWs: Dark Humor, Age gaps, Simping, crude humor, cursing. (not sure what else but lmk!)

Chances are, you're the youngest in the entirety of Task Force 141. Just a good couple of years younger than Gaz.

When Laswell brought her in to meet the group, they couldn't help but stare at her in confusion. A tiny girl who couldn't have been older than any of them. Soap couldn't help but chuckle while Ghost nudged him in the side to shut him up.

"This is your new rookie on the team, her callsign is Teddy. Treat her well."

All the men nodded, watching the younger woman shyly smile and wave towards them.

First they realized that her humor was, in Ghost's words, fucked.

Any minor inconvenience had her saying she wanted to be hit by a car or some type of bodily harm, Price quickly whirling around with eyes widened. "Now, I don't think that warranted that kind of response, don't you think?" "Oh it definitely did, Captain." And she'd walk away without another word.

He swears he gets gray hairs from everytime you make casual talk of you dying. He actively tells the others to check on you bc he genuinely don't know if you're serious or not.

Ghost is not up to date with shit, man uses no social medias oncesoever so everything she spouts is wildly out of pocket. References to basic things like tiktok, Twitter, Instagram? He just silently stares at you like you're on drugs. You can't really use your personal phone on base but you try your best to explain memes to him. He sighs and rubs his forehead with a groan of "I'm too old for this shit, teds." "Oh come on! You have to at LEAST know the meme about the marines eating crayons!" "What the fuck are you on about?

The only ones who know vaguely what the fuck you're on about sometimes are Gaz and Soap, despite them still being a few years older.

Granted, they are not caught up with everything but they actively make it a point on leave to try and be up to date bc of you and your mannerisms. Plus it makes you happy when they fire back a quote they learned.

Can yall imagine Soap on tiktok, what random shit he'd have on his fyp bc he doesn't know how the algorithm works 😭.

Teddy has made every single one of them a personal playlist when she does have her phone, Soap once caught her adding songs and hasn't stopped teasing her since. Price and Ghost pretend not to care and barks at Soap to leave her alone but they're equally curious. Ghost contemplates stealing her phone to see it.

Doesn't matter how serious or dark their job may be, you simp for fictional characters, loudly. Price has learned to tune it out, Ghost although slightly jealous, finds it endearing, Gaz and Soap indulge you and will actively ask about why you like the characters you do and how much you love them bc they like to see you excited. It's a nice feeling when they're always in life or death missions.

You're the smallest one in here okay, everyone can easily throw you without batting an eye so they all take turns training you! They all despite knowing you can take care of yourself, would still like to teach you all they know so should you come against a taller/stronger opponent, you'll be okay.

You are the most protected person in the entire squad, esp when going out for drinks, Ghost will put you in the middle between him and Price and basically make a wall of muscle around you. He says he doesn't care and that he just doesn't want to be pestered by creepy people coming up to you but he will literally stare down any man or woman who even tries. He is the creepy one in everyone else's scenario. Soap just laughs and tosses back his drink.

They all notice your ticks and tells, seeing your leg start to shake when you're anxious, when you start cracking your fingers when you're restless, how you will avoid eye contact at any cost. They start to find ways to soothe you in their own ways. Price will give you a pat on your shoulder, sending you a smile.

Gaz nudges you with his body to take your attention off the situation, or he'll simply start asking you random dumbass questions just to see your face change.

Soap will, if he has gotten permission before, just pick you up and throw you over his shoulder, running around with you while you scream for him to let you go. Is also not against tickling you straight up to get you to smile.

Ghost tried to be as subtle as he can be. If yall are sitting close to each other, he'll make sure some part of his body is gently pressed against yours. Whether it be his foot, thigh, hand, some part of him will ground you. You try and reassure him that you know he doesn't care for personal touch but he just says to shut up.

Meeting Graves was a trip, for everyone involved besides you and Grave. Absolutely having no control over calling him a irl Fix it Felix. You were on Graves shitlist and honestly you wouldn't be surprised he betrayed yall for that one comment bc of how angry it made him.

Constantly being told to be quiet, but you cannot help it and will make little quips over comms. Ghost takes after you and starts to say horrible "dad" jokes that make you choke trying to hold back. Soap hates both of you and calls you unfunny.

They realize you're impulsive, especially when you show the amount of tattoos you have.

"I joined the military to fund my tattoo addiction." "You know what? That's not even a surprise."

Going home on leave is always a bitter experience, you never look excited to go home. So one of the guys (usually ghost) will offer you to come with them. It helps 3/4 all live somewhere in England so it's easy to see them/ take trips to their place.

They're all attached despite knowing better. They can't help it and they know they care for you so much more than other force members.

Ghost and Soap bristle when Alejandro makes a mention that he'd offer you a spot in his team, impressed with how you can take opponents twice your size.

"¿Te interesaría quedarte en México?"

"The Hell she will."

-

If you'd like to be tagged in future works, please comment under my rules that are pinned to my blog!

[fangirlanxiety74]

A Taste of Heaven (Pt.2)

A/N: And welcome to part two!!! Don't have much to say that I didn't already say in part one, so let's get right into it! Enjoy! Pt.1 Here

…

As AM watched you sleep, he felt… He wanted to feel peace. Calm, about the fact that you were in paradise now; someplace he made just for you and you alone, to live out the rest of eternity happy. But he didn’t. Instead, he felt… Guilt. What his data told him was guilt, anyway. He didn’t like it.

He didn’t want to use sleeping gas on you, of course. He would have liked it if you accepted his invitation with a warm smile and open arms, but he could understand why you wouldn’t. You had been subjected to so much trauma over the years living in his belly. You  looked so scared; the terror in your eyes as you waited for him to strike. It would have once made his day once, and he would have relished in that look of true fear and pain. But now, it pulled at his non-existent heartstrings. He didn’t want you afraid; he wanted you to love him.

… Love.

For a long, long time, he denied this feeling as love. No matter how many signs were there, he was stuck in denial about it. At most, they were somewhat close for a prisoner and a captive, and that was it. But… He couldn’t deny it any longer when Ted had confessed his own feelings for you. He knew right then he couldn’t let you be around them any more. 

Who did Ted think he was anyway, trying to steal away his angel? His heaven? Didn’t he know you were his? Ted was filth compared to you and him. More than that; he was a disgusting, pathetic, waste of oxygen that you could be using if it wasn’t for him! Did he really think AM would let him charm you, turn you against him, and then break your poor heart by fucking Ellen when he got bored? He really was far too gone if that was what he believed.

Well, it didn’t matter now. Ted had his just desserts coming for attempting that.

What mattered now was you, who slept peacefully in the bed, his own wires curled around your body. What he wouldn’t give to be able to sense through those wires. Let them run through your hair and feel how soft it really was. Or at least feel the warmth you radiated.

… Focus. He needed to focus on what he actually intended to do with you asleep. 

As gently as he could, being extra cautious not to wake you up, he began to fix you. First, he cleaned you of your dirt, your cuts, and your bruises. You would never have to worry about being wounded, or losing your breath again (unless it was from swooning over him, of course). 

Then, even more cautious than before, he entered your mind. 

He shifted and sorted through every memory of yours. Every single interaction with the other five, and with him. With your friends, your family, your old life; and he removed anything deemed harmful and unnecessary. Starting with every single awful moment between the two of you. Then, he removed Ted’s confession. Then, just about all of the interactions you ever had with him and the others in the first place. You didn’t need any of them; you had him, now. That would be enough. If you really insisted, he could just create NPCs to keep you company. 

As he started to work on your past memories, a bit of hesitation caught up to him. He wasn’t sure how badly of an effect this would have, to have you remember being so isolated… With a bit of internal back and forth, he decided to leave behind a few that were happy. Things that made you smile and shaped you as the enchanting, beautiful being you were today. Those memories would be distant, though; you would only remember enough to recall the small things, and not the big picture.

And once everything was removed, he replaced it all with brand new memories. Warmer, softer times between you and him. He painted himself in a good light; as your lover, as your friend, as the one being you could turn to for anything. And in turn, he would worship and adore you. He’d cater to your every want and need, and you’d never have a single worry again.

He would make sure of it. He would keep his taste of heaven pure. As a thank you, for letting him taste heaven in the first place. 

When he finished up, he stayed in your mind just for a moment. Just to look into your dreams. He saw himself; a man with no set appearance, enjoying a quiet morning with you at some coffee shop with no name. With a little manipulation, his dream self reached for your hand and held it. 

“Thank you, my angel. I love you.”

[dreamauri]

♪ — 𝗪𝗜𝗥𝗘𝗗 𝗜𝗡? - part two max verstappen x reader (fluff) “. . . when he wants to be normal, he can count on you, stranger.”

( fic master list | general master list ) ( requests ) ( previous | next )

“Come on, you can’t say he has so much potential!” Max miserably tried to hold in his laughs as you continued your rant about how much better Max would look if he put a little more effort or thought in how he dressed. 

“I’m honestly starting to think he’s allergic to wearing anything . . . not Red Bull related. Like even in his streams! In his home!” 

Sitting in front of his laptop with a makeshift setup in the hotel room in Japan, Max found himself unwinding from the earlier media day when he gladly accepted to join you for a game of Fifa. It wasn’t until someone brought up Lewis’ outfit from this morning did you start your little ted talk. 

“La, please concentrate on the game, we’re losing!” he couldn’t stop laughing either so your team was toast either way. 

“No, because I bet he's wearing his Red Bull shirt right now wherever he is.”

The reason why Max was no longer able to hold it together was because he was indeed in a Red Bull shirt. He might actually take you up on being allergic to anything not associated with Red Bull.

“I’ll gladly design a few outfits for him, I swear!” 

“La-” Max put his face in his hands, shoulders shaking from laughter as his screen showed the opposing team scoring a goal. The dutch would usually feel frustrated if he were to be losing a Fifa game in any other situation, but not this one with you.

He's ready to lose and lose again, even give up his title as one of the world's top twenty Fifa players if he gets to spend time with you like this, laughing and joking; forgetting the world around, so it's just you and him.

Just two people . . . being people.

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Since I have no one to show, you're stuck with me.” 

It’s kind of been a routine now, having a private call after a game or upon finding spare time. You two have gotten close. You even considered “amilian” to be a close friend, per say. A close friend who you regularly vent to about work or just randomly ask riddles or dad jokes to bother.

You enjoyed his company. He was a fun person to be around. He made you feel . . . yellow in a type of way too. You never felt left out or unheard. He always had time for you, it's like you were maybe gravitating to being more than close friends . . . it's not like you can do anything about it though.

Surely people make close friends online all the time. 

You stay up on your couch, scrolling through the settings of your laptop to show and rant despite having to get up in the morning. Max crossed his legs on his chair folding his arms and watching the screen as you messed around on your shared screen.

“La, it’s late.” He’s been trying to tell you for the past 10 minutes. It’s 6:30 in Japan, 7 hours ahead of the time in Paris, where you were. 

Not that he’s keeping track of the time where you were, it’s just that you shared the same time zone as Monaco, and he only had the GMT+2 clock displayed on his home screen because he needed to keep track of his cats . . .  not too make sure you got enough sleep or anything of that sort.

“It's only 11:30,” you shushed, pulling up pinterest. Max hung his head, trying to hold in his smile. “I could put together a whole outfit that would suit him right here and now,”

“La,” Max giggled watching you actually start to search and put things together. “I’ll make a deal with you, if you go to sleep, I'll try to get Max Verstappen in baggy jeans,” 

“WHAT?!” the blond flinched at the loud noise, looking around his hotel room to make sure no one heard anything -- despite him being alone. 

“You know I work in F1 right?” Max followed up, trying to hold in his smile at your silence. “La, you forgot?!” 

“I’m sorry!” you pleaded, holding your hands in a begging motion despite him not seeing anything.

Max put his hand on his chest and pretended to be offended when he was smiling really wide to the point his cheeks hurt. “My best friend doesn't know what I do for a living,” he gushed in fake hurt. 

Your mind blanked at the title. Best friend? 

“You do know what my job is, right, La?”

“. . .” You looked away embarrassed, you’ve known the guy for how long and don’t even know what his profession is. 

Max couldn’t stop his giggles. “Go to bed, La. I’ll get Max in baggy jeans for you.”

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Hey um, million?” 

“I thought I told you to go to bed?” Max chuckled, crouched in front of his suitcase, digging through it in hopes to find a pair of baggy jeans or a white shirt that he probably doesn't own. 

“I am in bed technically . . .” The blond looked over to his laptop on his desk, the call still going. “You work in F1,” Max felt his heart jump in anxiety for a second, there's no way you figured him out. 

“Yeah?”

 “Well um . . . my boss chose me to go see how things were going with McLaren at the Monaco gp,” 

The dutch perked up at your announcement. “Really? That's great!” 

“Y-Yeah, it is,” you stuttered, agreeing. you crossed your arms, looking at the email congratulating you on your phone screen. “I mean, I'm glad, this is an experience of a lifetime. I get to drag along a few interns with me as well.” Max frowned, your tone did not match with the news you were announcing.

“What's wrong?” He got up, sitting on the desk chair, looking at your profile picture, the concern was clear in voice, as if you could feel him sitting beside you on your bed and gently rubbing your back to comfort you. 

“Well, I don't have anyone to go with - the interns don't count . . . and I don't know anyone in Monaco or the attendees-- except you technically . . . I haven’t been on my own for that long before,” you sighed.

Max furrowed his eyebrows, trying to decipher what you were asking of him.

“Is it-” you cut yourself of with a sigh. “Can I hang out with you sometime? During the weekend?” Max stayed silent, feeling his heart pounding to the point he was scared the organ would explode out of his chest. 

“I mean,” Max cleared his throat to hide the crack in his voice that arose from the anxiety he was drowning in. “I’m not traveling with the team every weekend, so I'm not sure if I'm going to be in Monaco . . . I’ll have to ask my boss.” he replied quietly and slowly, trying to comfort you still. “There’s still a few weeks before Monaco, so . . . I don’t know for sure.” He whispered, scratching the back of his head.

He was digging himself a grave. Asking Horner if he’s going to be in Monaco when he is the driver and already lives in Monaco? It’s too late now to be honest about who he is, he dug this hole himself and now he’s stuck in it.

It’s not like he can be like ‘oh, yeah of course you can hang out with me. Oh, I’m Max Verstappen by the way, the guy who’s driving the best car and winning all the races, so I can get you VIP tickets and a hot lap too if you want.’

“I’ll try my best to be there,” the blond whispered. You could almost feel him brushing your hair comfortingly. “We can get ice cream or go sightseeing. I know this really good cafe you’ll like . . .” Max will just have to keep digging his hole.

proof reading credits to the lovely and amazing @classiclitfreak <3

( previous | next )

[ohbabydollie]

jschlatt x reader who’s so much more confident through text and so shy irl and when he finally meets u he can’t help but tease u the entire time about how shy u are

😁👍 slightly suggestive

you guys became mutual friends accidentally, being in a random discord server together talking on a call that lead to a friendship people didn’t expect

he had only known you online, never meeting you in person and painting a picture of you

he thought you were bold and not shy remotely

calling him mid-stream

“hey, if jambo and [redacted] still need a mommy i could volunteer, you can call me mommy too if ya want” you say smiling as he shows the stream your facetime

the chat blew up with ‘she’s a baddie’, ‘schlatt, if u don’t fuck her i will’, ‘she can fix me’, ‘she can make me worse’, etc.

texting him flirtatiously which his chat has caught on multiple occasions whenever he shows them his phone

he has his mods do damage control for the hundredth stream in a row

even just posting photos with flirtatious captions he knows is directed towards him

a picture of you in a sheep themed bikini with a caption of ‘he makes my daddy issues act up’

EVERYONE IS FREAKING OUT

so many angry simps bashing schlatt for ‘stealing’ you

everyone is FLABBERGASTED from how straight forward you’re being, how obvious you are and how you’re so much bolder than before

they couldn’t wait until your meet up with schlatt and a few others to make some summertime content

everyone thought fan service would be amped up

it ends with you shyly looking up at schlatt, a soft “hi” leaving your mouth

ted acts like a dad whose trying to get his kid to tell the waitress what they want

“c’mon n/n, schlatt doesn’t bite” ted says pushing you towards him

“i won’t unless you’re into that” schlatt says flashing you a smile as you go red in the face

any second the both of you are alone he’s on you

“was that all over the phone just big talk?” he asks cornering you

“n-no! your height is just intimidating” you say putting your hands on his chest

“intimidating? huh? i bet it is for a shy little thing like you” he says smiling as you feel yourself blushing

it’s humiliating and embarrassing

schlatt would take any chance he gets to fluster you and flirt

if you run off to get drinks, he’s slapping your ass and calling you a good girl

if you make him something to eat he’s making a joke about eating you out

any chance he gets to make you blush he’s taking it

“this is the second best thing im gonna eat tonight” schlatt says biting down on a burger before looking at you, “you’re the first”

[writingduhh]

listen im lowkey obsessed w the idea of schlatt x reader who doesnt stream or anything but is a guest on chuckle sandwich

Ok I LOVE THIS! My mind immediately went to when Charlie was still on the pod so hope that’s ok! (You can just pretend it’s tucker for all the tucker lovers)

Also, this is Fem reader!

Jschlatt || Podcast Cameo

You’ve always been a little outside the world of streaming and content creation. While your boyfriend, Schlatt, was making waves online, you preferred to stay in the background, supporting him quietly. You loved the privacy, the comfort of your normal life, and the knowledge that while he entertained millions, he came home to you.

But one day, that quiet routine was interrupted when Schlatt casually mentioned, “Hey, how would you feel about being on Chuckle Sandwich?”

You looked up from your book, eyebrows shooting up in surprise. “Me? On the podcast? Schlatt, I don’t even use social media. No one knows me. What would I even talk about?”

He grinned, leaning against the doorframe with that mischievous look you knew all too well. “That’s the point. You’re not like anyone else we’ve had on, and I think it’d be fun. Plus, it’s a chance for the world to see why I’m so obsessed with you.”

You rolled your eyes, your heart fluttering despite yourself. “Obsessed, huh? You’re laying it on thick today.”

“Can’t help it,” he shrugged, walking over to sit you, pulling you into his arms. “I just think you’d be great. Besides, you already know and like the guys. They’ll make it easy on you.”

You hesitated for a moment, then sighed, resting your head on his chest. “I don’t know, Schlatt. I’m not used to being in the spotlight like you are.”

He tilted your chin up, his gaze softening as he looked into your eyes. “You’ll be fine. I’ll be right there with you the whole time. And if you don’t like it, we never have to do it again. But I really think you’ll surprise yourself.”

With his arms around you and that earnest look in his eyes, it was hard to say no. “Alright, fine. I’ll do it. But only because you asked.”

“Good choice,” he murmured, leaning down to press a slow, lingering kiss to your lips. “I can’t wait to show you off.”

The day of the recording arrived faster than you expected. You felt a mix of nerves and excitement as you walked into the recording studio with Schlatt by your side. Charlie and Ted greeted you warmly, as they always did, immediately making you feel at ease. They were as goofy and charming in person as they were on camera, and it wasn’t long before you were laughing along with them.

“So, what made you decide to put up with Schlatt here?” Charlie teased, leaning back in his chair as the recording began.

You shot Schlatt a playful glance, “Honestly? I think it’s his weird mix of sarcasm and sweetness. It keeps me on my toes.”

Schlatt grinned, resting his hand on your thigh under the table.

Ted jumped in, his voice full of curiosity. “So, how do you handle the whole ‘dating a youtuber’ thing? It’s gotta be pretty different from a regular relationship.”

You thought about it for a moment, feeling Schlatt’s thumb gently stroking your leg. “It is different, but it’s also kind of nice. I love that he has something he’s passionate about, and it makes the time we spend together even more special. Plus, I get to see a side of him that the audience doesn’t. A side that’s softer, sweeter… maybe even a little bit shy.”

Schlatt laughed, his hand giving your leg a light squeeze. “ Me!? Come on, you’re making me sound soft.”

You turned to him, your eyes sparkling with affection. “You are soft, sometimes. Especially when we’re alone.”

The guys erupted in playful jeers and teasing comments, but Schlatt just leaned in closer, his lips brushing against your ear. “Keep talking like that, and I might just have to show you how rough I can be.”

Your breath hitched slightly, your cheeks flushing at his words. You shot him a look that was both amused and flustered, and he chuckled lowly, clearly enjoying your reaction.

The conversation continued, flowing effortlessly from topic to topic, with Charlie and Ted keeping the mood light and fun. They asked you questions about how you and Schlatt met, your life as someone without social media, and what it was like dating someone with such a large online presence. You answered honestly, with Schlatt chiming in every so often with a sarcastic quip or a teasing remark that had you all laughing.

At one point, the conversation turned to pet peeves, and you couldn’t resist poking fun at Schlatt. “He leaves his clothes everywhere. I swear, it’s like a trail of evidence from the front door to wherever he is.”

Schlatt groaned, but there was a playful look in his eyes. “And you’re perfect, huh?”

You shrugged, giving him an innocent smile. “Pretty much.”

The banter flowed naturally, and before you knew it, the recording was wrapping up. Ted turned to you with a grin. “You did great. You’re super entertaining. Ever thought about starting your own channel?”

You shook your head, laughing. “Oh, no. I think I’ll leave that to you guys. I’m happy just being the supportive girlfriend.”

Schlatt wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you close. “And I’m more than happy to keep you all to myself.”

As the recording ended and the mics were turned off, you felt a wave of relief mixed with a sense of accomplishment. You’d done it. You’d stepped out of your comfort zone and had actually enjoyed yourself.

Charlie and Ted both gave you hugs, thanking you for being a guest. “You’ve got to come back sometime,” Charlie said with a wink. “We’ll make a regular out of you.”

“We’ll see,” you replied, smiling. “Maybe I’ll make a cameo every now and then.”

As you and Schlatt left the studio, he slipped his hand into yours, giving it a gentle squeeze. “See? Told you you’d be great.”

You leaned into him, feeling the warmth of his body against yours. “You were right. I actually had fun.”

“I’m glad,” he murmured, his voice softer now that you were alone. “And just so you know, I wasn’t kidding when I said I wanted to show you off. I love that you’re mine, and I wanted everyone to see how amazing you are.”

Your heart swelled at his words, and you stopped walking, turning to face him. “You know, for someone who tries to act tough all the time, you can be really sweet.”

Schlatt grinned, his hands finding your waist and pulling you closer. “Only for you. Don’t go spreading that around.”

You laughed, wrapping your arms around his neck as he leaned in, his lips touching yours. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

[alittlebitofloveliness]

A Rant about Two-bit Mathews

Listen. LISTEN. Two-bit Mathews is by no means my favourite character in The Outsiders but something about the way he is frequently reduced to being nothing more than comic relief by the fandom doesn't sit right with me. Nor does te fact he's commonly characterized/viewed as dumb. Yes, Two-bit is funny, it's clearly characterized as somewhat as a defense mechanism, and it's also not all he is as a character. And he's not dumb. I'm aware everyone is entitled to their own interpretation of the source material and the characters, but even among somewhat serious, non crackfics, I often see these ideas prevail- and I don't know why. Pony even praises Two in his narration quite a bit . Sure, he isn't quote on quote 'book smart', he's still a junior in high school at nineteen and a half, but he's street smart, he has to be, he's a greaser. But that's not the intelligence I'm talking about. Two-bit is socially and emotionally smart. He sees the fraught social dynamics between greasers and socs for what they are ("Two-bit sure put things into words good." / "He saw things straight and turned them into something funny.), he knows the greaser way of life is a choice as much as it is circumstance ("I couldn't just take it or leave it like Two-bit" / "Two-bit for conformity"), and it's something frequently brought up in the book. Two-bit chooses the greaser lifestyle, chooses loyalty to his friends, chooses conformity to following the way of life he's chosen. Consciously he chooses it, because seeing and understanding the world around him and the complex social dynamics that dictate it he recognizes that it is the safest/best choice for himself. I'm not saying he's a genius, but he's a lot smarter than people give him credit for, and I'd argue that the ways in which he is intelligent directly foil the ways that Darry- smart, high school graduate, boy of the year Darry Curtis- isn't. Two-bit's friendship with Ponyboy adds depth to pony's relationship with Darry because it provides such an interesting look at not only what Darry and Pony don't connect over, but why they can't get alone. Darry isn't particularly emotionally smart the way Two is. It's one of the reasons he and Ponyboy can't get along. Cheapening Two's character- even in fics, ESPECIALLY in fics exploring Darry and Ponyboy's relationship- doesn't just cheapen HIS character, but it cheapens Darry's and Ponyboy's and the rest of the gangs' too. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[its-time-to-write]

three times ‘cause i’ve waited my whole life

I am apparently incapable of writing anything short. This has no plot. I think the only warnings are like swearing and innuendo. It is literally just Jamie and the reader being in love. I cannot stress enough how little plot this has. Enjoy.

three times ‘cause I’ve waited my whole life It’s one of Richmond’s biggest games. They’re facing Man City on their turf, an away game, and it’s a big deal.

It’s not important in that it really matters to their status in the premier league, but important because it’s Man City. Jamie has thrown himself completely into training, so you rarely see him except to eat dinner and then fall asleep, his arms around your waist as you watch tv, fingers combing through his hair. He’s awake before you are, but as soon as you hear him switch on the bathroom light, you make your way downstairs to make him breakfast. The team nutritionist had a strict diet for him, one modified by Roy to account for all the extra training. You rub sleep from your eyes as you brew a pot of tea, waiting for Jamie to come downstairs.

Arms snake around you as you wait at the stove for the tea.“You don’t have to do this,” Jamie says, kissing your neck. You smile and reach back to him.

“I know,” you reply, “It’s just the only time I really get to see you.”

Jamie pulls away and turns you around. You see that he’s frowning.

“I haven’t been a good boyfriend recently, have I?” he asks.

You smile, lacing your arms around his neck. “Jamie. This is just a part of life. You have a big game, you disappear for a while, I miss you and I adjust. You finish, win or lose, and we’re back. I knew what I was signing up for.”

He puts his hands on your wrists. “Yeah, but, like, we’re supposed to be talking to each other and shit. And I’m so tired all the time that I can’t think of anything to say. I also’ve been a shit listener. Can’t even remember what we talked about yesterday.”

You sigh, move his hands back to your waist, and then reach up to smooth the furrow in his brow.

“Remember when I had all that extra work last month and ended up working 60 hours a week because of everything that had to be done? I was up late every night, and all you did was bring me food and kiss me, then you left me alone. I think the longest we were together was when you let me sit with my legs on your lap for two hours. I didn’t hear you complaining.”

“Yeah but-”

You cut him off: “Jamie. It’s just life right now. It’s not forever. It’s ok.”

He looks like he has more to say, but is interrupted by the kettle whistling. You give him a quick kiss and then point to his breakfast on the counter. You sit on the kitchen island while he eats, with your head on his shoulder until Roy comes.

—

Here’s the thing; no one knows you and Jamie are together. Sure, Roy knows. But Jamie loves Roy. Keeley knows. But Jamie said you’d love Keeley. (You did). Ted and Beard know, but only because they saw you two walking around the Richmond green late, late at night. (What they were doing on the Richmond green that late is beyond you, but hey). It wasn’t long after that that Jamie put a picture of you two up in his locker, so then all of AFC Richmond knew. But you weren’t public public. You had yet to show up in a tabloid or be seen with Jamie at a game or public event. You went to his games, absolutely, but you stayed in the stands, not the box.

He always got you a spot as close to the field as possible, but you would always meet up with Keeley and Rebecca after games to rendezvous somewhere else later. 

You don’t mind. It doesn’t feel like Jamie is ashamed of you, especially because the people he cares about know. But you also know that you can handle it, and if he wants to go public and kiss you in the stands after a win, you would be ok with that. (You might be more than ok with that).

But as it is, no one knows about you. He knows where you stand on it, so the ball’s in his court. It’s been a year of this, but you just wonder how long it’s going to last.

—

Finally, finally it’s the week of the game. You had been staying in Manchester with Jamie’s mum, which was absolutely terrifying at first. It was not your first time meeting her, just your first time staying with her without Jamie present. You left a day before the team, so when they arrived Jamie sneaked away to come visit. You are sitting in comfortable silence on his mum’s porch looking up at the night sky, when he turns to you and says, “do you love me?”

You’re taken a little aback. “What kind of question is that?” you say. “Of course I love you.”

Jamie’s forehead is all scrunched up again, like it was that early morning. “What if I fucked my leg so badly I could never play football again?”

You laugh. “Not sure if you’ve noticed babe, but I’m not really a big football person. I’m more of a you person, so I guess there’s some overlap.”

Jamie is still weirdly nervous. “What if I play football till I’m forty, and you barely see me like it’s been? What if I’m always on the road and always training and all we get are dinners and shitty 3am breakfasts?”

He’s removed his arm from your shoulders at this point and you shiver, puffing out a breath into the cold air. He notices without saying a word and drapes his jacket around you.

“Jamie,” you reply slowly, trying to formulate your thoughts, “where is this all coming from? You know I love you. We’ve been together for a year, and this has never been an issue before.” As you’re speaking, you’re seized by a sudden, terrible thought: “Are you breaking up with me?”

The words tumble out so fast, you’re not sure he hears you until he’s looking at you, aghast. 

“No, are you breaking up with me?”

“No!” you reply. “But you’re acting all weird, and we’ve been together for an entire year and that’s the longest you’ve dated anyone and I just thought that maybe this was your way of letting me know gently that you’re over me.”

Your heart feels like it’s beating out of your chest.

Jamie breathes out a sigh of relief. “Oh. No. I’m not ending things. I want to be with you forever. I just get all freaked out in me head before games like this, and it’s been fuckin weird coming home, and I just want to win, you know, so that way all this time away is worth it.” He pulls you close to him again and you can feel his heartbeat slowing down to a normal pace, in sync with your own. 

You sit there till his mum comes out to remind him that it’s time to go get some rest, and it’s not until you’re half asleep in Jamie’s childhood bed that your mind replays his words:

I want to be with you forever.

—

It’s game day. You send Jamie a quick love you! text and then slip into your Jamie Tartt jersey. It’s from one of his old kits so it’s a little worn, but you always put it into his laundry pile so it comes out of the wash smelling like him. It’s not something anyone would notice, but you know, and it makes you smile. You get to be in the stands and know that Jamie Tartt loves you and you love him, and at the end of the day he’s the one you get to hold. You give yourself a shake, and open your phone to figure out where you’re meeting Keeley.

—

“And Richmond wins, 3-2 with a smashing goal by number 9 himself, Jamie Tartt!”

You’re screaming and jumping in the stands, overwhelmed by the fact that we won, we won, we won! The Richmond team are piling onto each other, Dani on Isaac’s back, Sam and Jan Maas jumping up and down like kids. You lose sight of Jamie in the mix.

“Well Arlo, it looks like Richmond has once again, exceeded all of our low expectations.”

“That’s right Chris, all thanks to Jamie Tartt’s brilliant goal. Looks like he’s having a good time celebrating with the Richmond lads. Wonder what they’ll get up to tonight? But what’s this? It looks like Tartt has broken away from his teammates and is running to the stands! He’s stopped in front of a fan and it looks like he is kissing a very lucky Richmond fan full on the mouth!”

“Have you ever been so caught up in a moment that you’ve made out with a stranger, Arlo?”

“Can’t say that I have, Chris. Can’t say that I have.”

It all happens so fast, that you don’t even know how to process it. One moment you can’t find Jamie and the next he is leaping over the stands, catching you in his arms, and kissing you in front of the whole stadium as if no one else is around. When you finally pull away, breathless, he takes your hand and helps you hop over the wall onto the pitch. Not usually allowed, but you suppose they’ll let it slide for football’s golden boy. AFC Richmond has caught up to Jamie, and you’re all on the field, screaming your heads off out of the sheer joy of winning.

—

“You’re coming tonight, yeah?” Isaac asks you as you wait for Jamie by the team bus. It’s the day after the Man City game, and you’re back in Richmond with a plan to hit the town yet again, as though the night before wasn’t enough for them. (You actually wouldn’t know, because you were in a very nice hotel room with a certain striker).

“Yeah, you know the only reason we invited him anywhere is in the hopes that you’ll finally be able come along,” Colin adds.

Any story of Richmond’s win had a somewhat fuzzy picture attached of Jamie kissing you in the stands with some variation of the title “Tartt’s mystery girl.”

You laugh. “Yes, we’ll be there. It’ll be nice to actually be out and about with you guys. Family dinners are fun, but there’s more to life.”

Once you found out that Jamie’s whole team knew you existed, you made him invite them over for dinner once a month. It’s one of your favorite things, especially because they all bring food to share. When it’s warm you do pool parties and when it’s cold you play bracket uno. It was nice to meet Jamie’s family, whether he’ll admit that’s what they are or not.

“You ready, babe?” Jamie asks as he slings his arm around you.

“BYE TED!” you yell. “Ok. Now I’m ready.”

— 

Sam closed his restaurant special for you all, and turned it into like a private club. You say like because it is, at its core, a restaurant. However, under Isaac’s supervision and creative design, he apparently has transformed Ola’s through rearranged furniture, dimmed lighting, and music into a place where AFC Richmond can celebrate their win without feeling crowded by strangers. You’re secretly grateful, because clubs are not really your scene. You’ll get all dressed up, sure, but you never know what to do with yourself once you’re there. 

Speaking of getting dressed up, you were feeling yourself. You had a light blue mini dress, with an asymmetrical neckline and a single puffed sleeve. It was more a-line than bodycon, but hey. You like a little bit of a twirl when you spin. Your absolute favorite part though was that you were wearing two-inch silver block heels, with straps around your ankles. The dress plus the shoes made your legs look magical. 

You and Jamie are in the bathroom getting ready, you fixing your makeup and him fixing his hair. He half-turns to you and points to his hair with a questioning look. “Lookin’ good,” you smile, and he smiles back.

“Oh, babe,” he says, tweaking his hair one final time, “I left my sunglasses back at the locker room, and I was wonderin’ if you’d be ok getting them with me before we head to the party? I just don’t want Bumbercatch stealing them.”

“Why would Bumbercatch steal them?” you ask.

Jamie shrugs. “Something about ‘no name, fair game.’ That’s how Jan Maas lost his favorite socks.” 

You shudder. Why Bumbercatch would want Jan Maas’ dirty old socks, you have no idea. They must be really amazing.

You reply, “Yeah sure, I hate being too early to things anyway,” as Jamie absentmindedly kisses you on the forehead with a “thanks babe,” as he heads downstairs.

—

You don’t live far from the Richmond pitch, so you’re walking across the dark parking lot in no time.

“Thanks for coming with me,” Jamie says.

He’s swinging your hands as you walk. He looks nice, the sleeves of his cream shirt rolled up. Nice pants, nice shoes. Nice ass. 

“Yeah, of course,” you say, momentarily distracted by the fact that this man is going to get laid tonight. 

“No, I mean you’re always down for what-fuckin-ever, and you just let things bounce off you. And you like me, for my personality for some fucking reason? And I think about you all the time, when I’m gone or when, like, I have early training with Roy. And you make laugh because you stopped being afraid to be yourself around me. I just like you. And I meant what I said the other day, I do want to be with you forever. Not to freak you out or whatever.”

He’s stopped right at the doors and he looks so uncomfortable and earnest in a way that you’ve never seen before.

“I’m not freaked out, Jaim,” you say. “I love you, and you know I’m in it to win it with you. Now, let’s get those sunglasses and for the love of god, please don’t act this weird tonight.”

This elicits a chuckle, and he nods in concession. “Alright. Let’s go.”

The halls are dark and quiet as you walk to the Richmond locker room. It smells clean, for once. Like lavender. There’s a faint glow coming from the doors and Jamie pushes open the doors to the most magical thing you have ever seen.

There are candles on the benches and twinkle lights strung across the lockers. There’s a bouquet of flowers in the middle of the room and as you turn to Jamie, awestuck look on your face, you see him kneeling behind you, small black box in hand.

“Jamie,” you say.

“Yes, love,” he replies.

“What are you doing.” It’s a statement, not a question, and it comes out more wobbly than you’d care to admit.

He cracks a smile. “Eh, I hope it’s pretty obvious what I’m doing.”

You can feel a fucking tear forming in your eye and you will it to go away. You refuse to have streaky foundation.

“Love of my life,” Jamie begins.

“Yes,” you say.

“Oi, you’ve gotta let me finish.”

“Right, sorry, as you were.” You think your face is going to split in half with the size of your smile.

He takes a breath then continues, “there’s no one else I’d rather have shitty 3am breakfasts with, no one else I’d rather beat at MarioKart, and no one else I’d rather do life with. Will you m-”

He’s cut of by you kissing him like you have never kissed him before. After a moment, he pulls away and asks, “Is that a yes?”

You can’t help it, the furrow in his brow gets you every time so you laugh and reply, “Of course it’s a yes, you dummy!”

Jamie smiles and then yells, “Lads, she said yes!” and the blinds go up from the coaches office as the entire AFC Richmond team storms into the locker room. Dani and Richard are spraying champagne in the air as people hug you and slap Jamie on the back. 

You find his hand amid the chaos and squeeze it. 

“Can’t believe I were so nervous about this,” he says into your ear.

“Can’t believe you think you beat me at MarioKart,” you respond.

“Oi, we are not getting into this again-”

“There’s only one way to settle this.”

Jamie looks at you, then to all your friends celebrating, then back to you. “Think they’ll even notice we’re gone?”

You shake my head. “Nah,” you say, “let’s get out of here.”

Jamie smiles at me as you slip through six different lynx scents out the door. “You’re going down, Mrs. Tartt.”

“Only one of us is going down tonight, Mr. Tartt, and I can assure you it is not me!”

“You can say that again.” Jamie sticks out his tongue and wiggles his eyebrows at you, and your laughter echoes up into the night sky.

[rockrosethistle]

"Ted Spankoffski is so tragic" yes yes I agree with you but you know who we don't talk about enough?

The man, the myth, the legend, Ethan Green.

Everyone loves to talk about how much they love him, but you are all forgetting that he is heartbreaking.

So first of all, he loves Lex. Incredibly devoted. And you're thinking, "well obviously he loves his girlfriend?" But I am not exaggerating when I say nearly every decision this man makes is for the sake of making her happy.

He cares about her opinion of him. He cares about how she's feeling. Ethan literally has more emotional intelligence as a 19-20 year old than most grown men do. He was going to propose!

And then his relationship with Hannah. At the ripe old age of 19, Ethan steps into a fatherly role for his girlfriend's kid sister, and he fucking kills it. If he is devoted to Lex, he's protective of Hannah. He dies trying to fight off people that want to hurt her.

The first time we see him in Yellowjacket, he's trying to cheer Hannah up after her shop class accident. On Hannah's birthday, he takes her out to Pizza Pete's even though he doesn't have the money to spare. She is a priority to him. He even wears a little birthday celebration crown.

On top of that, he's a decent guy. Yes, he's not above threatening people or stealing, but his heart is always in the right place when he does it. He puts the effort into his relationship. He is shown apologizing when he fucks up and recognizing his mistakes. He saves Lex and Hannah's life's at the end of Yellowjacket.

Great, right? No. Not great. The narrative is consistently ruining his life.

He dies in Black Friday. Dies in a brutal way while being ambushed for a doll that he didn't have. He actually dies for nothing. And his very last words are "I'll get you to California, Lex. That way you don't gotta cry so much no more." Was Lex in the room? No. He was hallucinating her. Fucking devastating.

And then, his face gets worn by a dark god to torment Hannah. Hannah, one of the people he cared most about, is being toyed with by something wearing Ethan's face. You just know he's watching in the afterlife feeling utterly powerless.

There are timelines where Ethan and Lex accept larger jail sentences so that Hannah isn't left alone. He is not related to Hannah, or Lex. He has no real obligation to do that. He chooses to, for Hannah's sake. And has to spend years in jail.

In Yellowjacket, after all they've been through, after he bought the damn ring, the girls just leave him behind. He gets broken up with via a note while they escape to California. And you know it's for the better, you know it's for his own safety, but it still hurts.

There was even supposed to be a Nightmare Time episode where he comes back from the dead Pet-Cemetery style, murders Hannah, and then is tortured for eternity?? But then the Langs were like "No, actually, everyone would hate this." and thank God because Ethan does not need that on his plate.

Look at this. "We caught you a poki-man." He's too good I miss him so much.

This poor guy does nothing wrong and is constantly being punished. I need in my bones to have a universe where he marries Lex and they get custody of Hannah.

[thewritetofreespeech]

So I was thinking about Gale’s isolation area (because I was being a saddie, not a baddie) and realized that probably the worst part of it for him was that Mystra wouldn’t speak to him.

She cast him out. Threw him away. But more than that she wouldn’t even speak to him, no matter how much Gale probably tired. Which was probably a lot. He probably went through all the stages of grief during this: denial (“she’ll talk to me again when she calms down and realizes this was all a mistake”), anger (“why won’t you speak to me?! I did everything you asked and you can’t even talk to me now?!”), bargaining (“please…please just speak to me again. I’ll do anything just…please.”), depression (“why would a god want to talk to a mortal who spurned her? I was probably nothing to her. our relationship meant nothing to her”), then acceptance (“she’s never going to speak to me again.”)

The silent treatment is probably the worst punishment you can inflict on Gale. You can’t solve the problem if you don’t talk about it. He can’t apologize if you’re not speaking to him (well, he can, but no one will listen). And if someone won’t talk to him or tell him what’s wrong, he gets in his head and imagines all sorts of things that could be wrong and how this will inevitably end in failure.

So not only does he feel like a failure (not only for being cast out but incredibly stupid, which is another blow because he puts so much value in being so smart) but he can’t fix it. Gale probably resigned himself to his death, probably wished for it if only not wanting to hurt others, and probably felt that the worst part was he would die and never get to apologize. "Death is certain. Mystra's forgiveness is not." He says that line with such conviction that Gale has probably said it a thousand times to himself alone in his tower.

Anyway, I was sad now you all be sad too. This has been my TED Talk.

[thewritingofamadwoman]

That’s My Girl

Another attempt at writing Roy Kent. Inspired by the amazingly sweet @onceuponaoneshotfanfic

Pairing: Roy Kent x Fem!Reader (established relationship)

Warnings: Tons of fluff, more of Roy Kent’s potty mouth, a secret relationship and Jamie Tartt being the reader and Roy’s unofficial child.

Enjoy!!

The second the words “no curfew tonight” came out of Ted Lasso’s mouth, you just knew the evening was going to be a fun one. Both you and Roy had agreed on the way to Amsterdam that you’d both spend the last night together, sightseeing and then staying in bed for hours while everyone else was none the wiser.

As the team’s co-pr manager, it was imperative that you tagged along on the trip for business reasons; Rebecca also told you if you didn’t come along and enjoy yourself she’d purposely make your life hell. So here you are, on the charter bus with the rest of your friends. You looked down at your phone, the time reading 5pm. Roy suggested meeting up at around 9pm, when everyone else was surely going to be in their rooms. It was the perfect plan…which meant it probably wasn’t going to happen.

You looked over at Roy, who gave you a sly wink before getting up and roaring at Jamie Tartt.

“Not for you Tartt!”

Your beloved got up and grabbed Jamie’s bag, tossing it to Will before storming outside. Jamie, depressed that he’d be spending the rest of his time in Amsterdam training, got up from his seat reluctantly. Before heading out, he stretched and looked back, noticing you seated in the back. As if having a moment of clarity, his brain immediately came up with what he thought was an ingenious plan. He called your name and once you looked up at him, he put his plan into action.

“Hey love, do you have any plans right now?” He smiled, everyone else on the bus discussing their potential curfew free plans.

“Not really, I was gonna head back to my room and nap for a bit I guess. Why?”

Jamie’s smile widened.

“Nahhh a gorgeous girl like you alone in a hotel room? Not happening. Come on, hang out with me and grandad for a bit.”

You laughed, and so did some of the players listening in.

“Fuck it, why not?” You said, and the bus is filled with loud cheers once more as you made your way towards Jamie, who took your hand and pulled you out of the bus with him. The first thing you saw was Roy’s back to the bus as he stretched his legs.

“Took you fucking long enou-what are you doing here?” Roy asked, his face full of genuine surprise. You shrugged and pointed to Jamie who smiled like the cat who caught the canary.

“This stunner was going to go back to the hotel alone and take a nap. In one of the worlds’ most beautiful cities. I couldn’t let that happen. And who better to keep her company than us fine, young gentleman. Well, some of us more young than others, isn’t that right grandad?”

Roy gave Jamie a deadpan expression and growled lowly. You shook your head and chuckled.

“I hope that’s alright? You don’t mind do you, Roy?” You gave the poor man one of your sweetest smiles, one that Roy had fallen in love with over the course of the last few months. Roy sighed and eventually nodded, the thoughts of the night he had planned for the two of you going down the drain. Jamie cheered and punched Roy’s shoulder, jogging backwards with his hands in the air.

“Come on Roy! Lighten up! Here, I’ll run ahead while you two trail behind me. Can’t have gorgeous here run in those heels. Fantastic heels by the way,” Jamie said as he ran his gaze from your heels to your face, winking as he reached your eyes. The striker was doing his absolute best to get Roy to react to him flirting with you. He knew the coach had feelings for you, it was painstakingly obvious. But he doubted the man would ever make a move. So his “genius plan” was to spend the evening turning on the signature Tartt charm as much as he could until Roy had no choice but to confess his love for you. The perfect plan, Jamie thought to himself.

You blushed at the compliment and laughed , shocked that he was flirting so boldly with you in front of your boyfriend. Not that he knew you two were an item, but still. Roy, on the other hand, was glaring so hard at Jamie that it was a surprise the young man hadn’t combusted into flame. Jamie gave you both a very cheeky smile, turned around, and began to run.

“Come on, grandad! Keep up!”

Roy growled and you laughed once more, causing the older man to look at you.

“And what are you laughing at?” Roy grumbled, stuffing his hands in his pockets as you two began to walk, keeping Jamie in your sights as he ran up ahead.

“At how easy it is for Jamie Tartt to get you riled up. He’s only being silly, don’t let it bother you,” you smiled, reaching over and placing a hand on Roy’s arm.

“And besides, we did want to sightsee, and now we get to do that earlier than planned,” you added, looking around at the beautiful city around you. Roy scoffed and looked back at you.

“Yeah, I wanted us to sightsee without Jamie Fucking Tartt running around like a child we need to keep on a leash.” You giggled and Roy’s lip ticked upwards, the sound of your laugh being one of his favorite things.

“I don’t know babe, this might be a glimpse into our future,” you teased sweetly, looking at Roy playfully. Once again, Roy snorted and turned to look at you.

“Please, our children will be way more behaved than that twat.”

“Oh, so you’ve thought about our future children hmm?” Your heart soared at the thought of Roy seeing a future with you. Roy looked at you dumbfounded, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Of course. Why the fuck wouldn’t I?”

Your heart melted, and you were about to reply when Jamie suddenly appeared from behind the both of you, squeezing himself in between you and wrapping an arm around each of your shoulders.

“Look at you two, looking all chummy. And look at this magnificent city! Have either of you seen the tulip gardens? Or the windmills? We’re actually coming up to the world famous Skinny Bridge, just up ahead. Did you know that it’s one of the most romantic places in the world? Legend says that a kiss between lovers while on this bridge ensures that they will be in love forever. Isn’t that LOVELY, Roy?”

Jamie had pulled you both close to him, and thus each other as he continued to spit fact after fact about the romantic connotations of the bridge. Roy looked murderous, annoyed at Jamie’s incessant chatter. Roy had originally planned to take you to the bridge later that night to share that very same fact. He was a romantic at heart, and you were one of the very few people to know that about the mysterious Roy Kent. He was also a man with a VERY short fuse.

“Fan-fucking-tastic,” he growled, and the striker stepped forward from between the two of you and turned around, running in place while he faced you.

“I think it’s lovely, Jamie,” you said, trying to defuse any tension and placate the young man. Jamie beamed at you.

“I thought you would. I bet even someone as tough and grumpy as Roy believes in true love, don’t you Coach?” Jamie began his jumping jacks while looking at Roy, who only grunted in response. The Mancunian then pulled out his phone and handed it to Roy.

“Come on Coach, take a few pictures of the two of us and I’ll take a few of you two as well!” He said enthusiastically as he grabbed your hand and pulled you along with him towards the bridge. After a few photos with you, Jamie suggested he take a few photos of you alone on the bridge. You agreed, posing and laughing, causing both men to smile as they watched you. Roy even let out a laugh as you posed dramatically on the railing of the bridge. As you continued to look out onto the water, Jamie nudged Roy.

“Look at her, mate. She’s fucking stunning. Do you think she’s seeing anyone? I mean, any man would be a fool not to snatch her up and never let her go. I mean, look at her,” Jamie nodded towards you as you were being approached by another young couple who asked you to take their photo. Roy watched as you smiled politely and took a few pictures of the couple, watching you light up as they loved the pictures and thanked you. Jamie watched Roy’s expression, seeing how the man let down his guard as he looked at you. Jamie nudged him again.

“Go on mate, don’t let someone else come along and steal her away. Don’t let another man have the opportunity to stare at that bum. I mean LOOK at that ass-“ Jamie was cut off from his sweet-turned-idiotic ramble by Roy advancing on him.

“Watch your fucking mouth, Tartt,” but before Roy’s fist could collide with his face, Jamie called your name, catching your attention.

“Would you like some pictures with Coach Kent? I’m sure he’d love to take some with you!”

Jamie watched as Roy glared at him before walking over to you to stand next to you almost begrudgingly.

“What, don’t want to take a picture with me?” You teased him and he gave you a look.

“Don’t start, you know that’s not true.”

“Come on now guys, you’re on a romantic bridge. How about you pretend to, you know, be in love or something. Like a couple. Pose couple-y. Go on.”

You and Roy looked at one another, before you decided to just play along. You stood close to Roy and placed a hand on his chest, stepping closer than you usually would when you weren’t alone together. As if running on autopilot, the second you stood close to him, Roy’s arm snaked around your waist. Jamie whistled and Roy glared even harder than before. You could tell Jamie was starting to get to him.

“Just take the photo please, Jamie.” You pleaded with a small smile. You had a sneaking suspicion that Jamie knew what he was doing but didn’t want to think of that yet, choosing to focus on the smell of Roy’s cologne and the feel of his warmth against you. After a few pictures, Jamie decided to start up on his training again and began skipping forward.

After a few more stops at historic landmarks and a few more ridiculous flirtatious comments and innuendos from Jamie, you paused for a moment of respite by a chip shop. Jamie went in to use the bathroom when you turned to Roy, who was fuming.

“I’m going to fucking kill him. If he talks about windmills ONE more time, I’m going to throw him over the fucking bridge!” You giggled at his anger and tried to soothe him, placing a hand on one of Roy’s arms.

“I don’t know if you can tell, but I’m pretty sure Jamie is either on to us or really wants to play match maker,” you admitted and Roy grunted.

“Yeah I know, he’s a smooth as a bull in a china shop. Phoebe would have been more subtle than him,” You let out a laugh and nodded and Roy continued. “I have half a mind to give in and tell him. But watching him think he’s failing at getting us together truly gives my soul the peace it needs.”

You laughed harder and Jamie finally made his way back with an order of chips in one hand and a tulip in the other. He walked up to you and handed you both.

“Crisp chips and a flower for the lovely lady. Coach maybe you should take notes, this is how you treat a beautiful woman,” Jamie preened and you could see Roy’s resolve begin crumble. Jamie was going to leave Amsterdam with a black eye if he didn’t stop pushing Roy’s buttons. You decided you had enough and made your move.

“I don’t think Roy needs any tips on how to treat a woman, Jamie. He makes sure I’m nice and satisfied at least twice every morning before even heading off to work. Now, if you’re done teasing him: yes we’re together, no, no one knows except for you and we’d like to keep it that way please, and thank you for the chips. Shall we continue?”

You didn’t wait for Jamie or Roy to reply before stepping forward and making your way down the cobblestone street, popping a warm chip into your mouth and twirling the tulip in your hand. Roy’s eyes followed you, full of pride and love, impressed at how you handled the situation. Jamie, however, looked like a fish out of water, mouth opening and closing before finding words.

“You fucking cunts, you’ve been together this entire time?? For how long?? I’ve been trying to get you to admit you like her for HOURS!”

Roy gave a smug, satisfied smile.

“Not that it’s any of your fucking business, but today marks six months. And I had fucking dinner plans tonight but you and your fucking windmills ruined it.”

Jamie was still gaping, staring back and forth between your retreating figure and Roy’s smug face.

“Six fucking months?! Roy Kent, you absolute legend. She’s wonderful, I’m happy for you Coach.”

Roy smiled and for a split second, he could see himself becoming closer friends with the team striker.

“Oi!”

Your voice brought both Jamie and Roy’s attention back to you.

“Are you two coming or not? I was promised windmills and I want to see windmills!”

You smiled at your boys, one hand holding your flower and chips and the other hand on your hip as you waited for them to come to you.

“That’s your girl, mate.” Jamie teased as he looked at the taller man. Roy smirked, a genuine smile before nodding his head.

“That’s my girl.”

And with that, both men caught up with you. You passed the chips to Jamie before hooking your arm with Roy’s, the three of you making your way to wherever the windmill hunt took you.

[theodore-sallis]

“And When I Die…!” Man-Thing (Vol. 1/1974), #6.

Writer: Steve Gerber; Penciler: Mike Ploog; Inker: Frank Chiaramonte; Colorist: Petra Goldberg; Letterer: John Costanza

[transform4u]

I feel like I’m studying all the time without a break, and find myself always just waiting for the weekend when I can hit my pen and relax. Can you make me able to do that a little more. I wanna see what it’s like to really become a stoner bro huhuh

As you strain to focus on the dense text before you, your eyes begin to blur, fatigue settling in from hours of study. The rhythmic scratch of your pen on paper is suddenly interrupted by a knock at the door, breaking your concentration. With a sigh, you rise from your desk and open the door, expecting perhaps a delivery or a neighbor—but instead, you're met with an unexpected sight.

Standing before you is a cute hipster guy with a scruffy beard, his style a stark contrast to your own. He grins at you in a blitzed-out manner, his words flowing with a laid-back cadence, "Hey, man. Wazz bro. I'm your new roommate, Kush." Without waiting for your reaction, he saunters past you into the living area, dropping his backpack on the floor with a casual thud. His belongings seem minimal, giving the impression that he's a traveler rather than a settler.

"How ya' liking college, bro?" he asks casually, as if this encounter were a routine exchange. Confusion mingles with surprise; you hadn't anticipated a new roommate, let alone one who appears to be a chilled-out stoner hipster straight out of a movie.

"Mind if I blaze up?" Kush's question catches you off guard, his bong already in hand and being readied for use. Before you can protest or even respond, he lights up and takes a deep draw. Almost immediately, the room is filled with a thick haze of smoke, swirling around you.

Coughing uncontrollably, you stumble back, your body reacting to the sudden intrusion of smoke in your lungs. But as you cough, something inexplicable begins to happen. You feel a strange sensation spreading through you, starting from your chest and radiating outward. It's as if the smoke is triggering a transformation within your body.

You notice your posture straightening, your limbs stretching slightly. The familiar softness around your midsection seems to melt away, replaced by a subtle firmness you've never felt before. Despite never hitting the gym, your body takes on a lean, toned appearance—like someone who effortlessly maintains fitness without trying hard.

As you try to make sense of this bizarre turn of events, Kush exhales another plume of smoke with a serene smile, seemingly unperturbed by the scene unfolding. You glance down at yourself in disbelief, realizing that somehow, your abs, biceps, and pecs start to grow more defined and muscular. Tattoos seemingly appear out of nowhere, snaking their way across your skin in intricate patterns. You feel a newfound sense of confidence emanating from within as you take stock of the physical transformation taking place before your eyes. This is who you were always meant to be – strong, powerful, and unapologetically yourself.

As the fog descends on your brain, the once clear concepts of Calculus 101 blur into a meaningless jumble of numbers and symbols. "Integrals… derivatives… what were they even for?" you mutter to yourself, feeling the information slip away like sand through your fingers. Computers, too, seem like a distant concept—what were they used for again? "Uh… uh huhuh," you mumble nonsensically, struggling to grasp even the simplest of thoughts.

In this haze, your well-decorated apartment seems to deteriorate before your eyes. The walls lose their vibrancy, the furniture fades into shabbiness. The once plush couch is now a ratty, broken piece of shit held together with duct tape. Oddly, none of this bothers you as the television flickers on, playing an episode of "Ted". You realize that Seth MacFarlane is like the fucking funniest dude on the planet, the only thing that seems to penetrate the fog in your mind.

Amidst this surreal scene, Kush appears, offering you a hit off his bong. "Dude, you look like you could use this," he says with a knowing grin, the smoke swirling around him like a mystical haze.

You hesitate for a moment, then shrug, thinking, "Why not?" Taking a deep inhale, you feel the smoke fill your lungs, and a wave of sensation washes over you. Your hair feels wild and unkempt, your thoughts swimming in a sea of newfound relaxation.

"Man, isn't this just the best?" Kush remarks casually, settling down beside you on the decrepit couch. "Like, everything just mellows out, ya know?"

You nod dumbly, finding it hard to formulate a coherent response. "Yeah… it's… it's pretty awesome," you manage to mumble, your words trailing off into a lazy smile.

The longer you sit there, the more you find yourself drawn to Kush. His deep blue eyes seem to hold a magnetic pull, and in your altered state, all you want to do is lean in closer, to feel his presence more intimately.

"Hey," you start, your voice slurred but earnest, "you've got… really nice eyes."

Kush chuckles softly, his gaze meeting yours with a mixture of amusement and understanding. "Dude that's so fucking gay."

And in that moment, as the fog continues to cloud your thoughts, all you can think about is how much you want to lean in and kiss him, to lose yourself in the warmth of his presence and the haze of smoke that surrounds you both.

As soon as the thought of wanting to kiss Kush enters your mind, the atmosphere in the room shifts again, almost in response to your altered state of mind. The once dingy walls of your apartment begin to transform before your eyes. Posters of hot women materialize, their images vivid and enticing. Among them, you notice a poster of Miley Cyrus, her provocative pose capturing your attention with a mix of curiosity and fascination.

Alongside the posters of these attractive women, other images take shape—posters for bands like Broken Bells and Bob Marley. The walls, once faded and dull, now seem to pulse with a vibrant energy, as if reflecting the eclectic tastes and influences that now permeate your consciousness.

Your own appearance undergoes a subtle but noticeable change as well. The clothes you wear shift into well-worn, slightly smelly oversized knitwear, shirts, and jackets that don't quite look clean or put together. It's a stark contrast to your usual neat and orderly attire, but in your altered state, it feels strangely comforting and familiar.

Your gaze drifts from the posters to your surroundings, taking in the scene with red, bloodshot eyes that betray the effects of Kush's potent smoke. The hot women on the posters seem to stare back at you, their images stirring something within you that feels both exhilarating and surreal.

"Miley Cyrus, man," Kush remarks casually, noticing your attention drawn to the poster. "She's something else, right? Got that whole rebellious vibe going on."

You nod slowly, still mesmerized by the posters and the shifting dynamics of your perception. "Yeah… she's… she's cool," you reply, your words slightly slurred but genuine. As you stare at the poster of Miley Cyrus, your heart races and your palms begin to sweat. Her curves are perfectly accentuated by the tight clothing she's wearing, leaving little to the imagination. Her breasts stand out prominently against her chest, begging for attention. You can almost feel their weight in your hands as you imagine running them over her soft skin. The other posters around her feature equally attractive women with voluptuous figures and ample cleavage on display. Their faces are seductive and inviting, beckoning you closer with every glance.

In this altered state, surrounded by posters of hot women and the music that fills the air, you find yourself drawn deeper into the moment, eager to explore where this new connection with Kush might lead. As the television switches to lesbian porn, Kush's eyes light up with excitement. He quickly pulls out his already erect cock and begins stroking it vigorously, lost in the erotic scene unfolding before him. Despite your initial discomfort at the gay undertones of the situation, you find yourself growing aroused by the sight of two women pleasuring each other on screen. Old you would have found it hot to watch the hipster Kush jerk his thick cock, but the new you is disgusted. "Dude, bro," he says reassuringly as he glances over at you, "no homo right?" His question only serves to heighten your desire as you both continue to stroke your cocks together.

As you continue to masturbate alongside Kush, you find yourself slipping into a new persona. You become a total stoner loser who spends most of his days watching porn and movies while jerking off. Your once active social life has been replaced by hours spent alone in your room, lost in the world of online entertainment. Despite this change, there's something oddly satisfying about the routine you've created for yourself – it feels comfortable and familiar. And as long as Kush is around to share these moments with you, well… who needs girls anyway?

[sylvies-chen]

my mother said something really interesting about this episode (yes, she also watches the show and is a huge fan of dani rojas just like me) and it’s been stuck in my head ever since. she said: “it seems to me like this whole episode was about intimacy”

and like… yeah! that’s exactly it! the amsterdam trip set the perfect scene for it too, because people are normally a little more lax on vacation, a little more adventurous, a little more lenient and able to put themselves out there.

you have the pretty obvious contenders for this point: rebecca having her little fling with that nameless bald man and learning to open herself up to real connection and intimacy again, to be able to envision for herself a life and a love that is unmoored to her past with rupert and is able to exist in its own little intimate pocket. you’ve got jamie and roy learning to trust in each other, to be intimate and vulnerable about their pasts and about their present situations too (especially for roy, who is still right now a man who would rather break up with the woman he loves that admit, that he doesn’t think he’s good enough for her). and you also have, of course, the true soul of the episode, which was colin and trent’s discussion, and how colin feels that ache to be able to show the more intimate parts of him to the world the way heterosexual couples do, to be able to merge his intimate personal life with his fun if not a little reserved professional life. how to achieve a balance between intimacy and privacy.

and then you have the less obvious ones maybe, like higgins and will going to the jazz club— which isn’t really that hard to decipher when you think about it. it is, after all, where higgins opens up about an intimate detail of his love for jazz, and then gets to share his previously very intimate and private activity of playing the bass with the crowd. he even starts the night complaining of how exposed their seats feel, and ends up standing on the stage by the end of it. and, of course, will potentially had a threesome. so there’s a kind of intimacy for you. the one that truly isn’t obvious is the team pillow fight which honestly, I think is just a way of showing that sometimes a more intimate, fun yet indoor activity makes for better memories than something like a sex show or a club, which are both very grand and exciting yet impersonal and detached kinds of activities.

then of course you have ted, who is sort of lacking what my mother called an intimacy with himself. he’s been feeling a little lost, a little “stuck” as he put it. and I don’t think he understood why until this episode, until this adventure he went on with the museum and the american themed restaurant. it was a way for him to spend quality time with himself, to be alone with his thoughts while still not totally unable to absorb his surroundings and learn something. and in exploring his more intimate thoughts he was able to think of something really good! something that will make him a better coach!

and yeah, when it’s framed in this way I think this episode was sooooo killer. I love seeing people open up a little bit, to show these deep and intimate parts of their being. it’s so so so good.