#and i just got invited to the cool bar like LOL im gonna have to cancel

[gstringsurvivor]

i have 0,76 cents on my bank account rn

[daydream-believin]

styrofoam cup give me strength

summary: you’ve not had a valentine’s date since way back when it was invented in the 14th century. you’re still bitter. and douxie asking you to come over to help him with his date is not making it better

warnings: swearing, alcohol

word count: idk i’m on mobile it’s not too long i don’t think

a/n: i wrote this while groggy. lol i just wanted something out this week. 1/3 valentines fics done. bone apple teeth yall

- it’s feb 14, valentine’s day, and you are once again spending it alone

- you thought for sure moving to a new town would help you better your chances at a successful love life

- but alas you have been in arcadia oaks for two years now and you are still without a valentines date

- you cursed this wretched holiday, always mocking you in your singleness

- it was stupid, and commercial, and made up anyway

- that didn’t stop you from looking spiffy tho

- look, the stupid lovey dovey couples that come in the restaurant tip way better when you’re dressed on theme

- it was just smart okay,,

- ngl you kinda felt like spongebob when pearl took over the krusty krab

- but that’s okay :D

- and all those cheeseball couples you served were just oh so cute, didn’t make you want to cry at all

- or at least go lie in a ditch, contemplating your life choices

- it’s okayyy :D :D

- stars, as soon as your shift is over you’re hitting up the bar across the way from your place

- time to drown out them sorrows am i right??

- actually, now that you think about it, your friend douxie asked you if you could make a quick swing by his place before you began drinking yourself into oblivion

- fuck, how did you forget that

- ah, well, you didn’t know what he wanted, but you were sure it wouldn’t take long

- you never asked, cause the answer might have hurt, but you were sure he had someone to hold tonight, a lucky, lucky valentines date. probably that pink haired chick he hangs with, or maybe that guy in his band? either way, he wouldn’t have much time for you

- he probably just wants you to run an errand for him or help him set something up

- and that was okay too :D

- life was dandy

- your shift ended, and you know that you promised douxie you’d be over asap, but tbh you were way too sober to go help your crush set up his romantic gestures meant for someone else. before leaving work, you poured some wine into a to-go cup with a bendy straw for your trip

- don’t judge

- you knocked on douxie’s door, before just walking right in without waiting for an answer

- look he gave you a key did he expect you not to use it

- anyhoo, you were right

- this place was all ready to go for a romantic evening

- candlelight, fancy tablecloth and place settings, red roses in the vase, soft music playing, rose petals on the ground? leading form the door?

- you furrowed your brows, and then rolled your eyes. yeesh. he was going all out apparently. you wouldn’t put it past him to be wearing a suit or something. wait, does douxie even own a suit? you went to go throw away the empty to-go cup, expecting doux to be in the kitchen, but he wasn’t there

- where was he

- you called out “DOUX! IM HERE!”

- you heard a shuffle from one of the other rooms, and a door swing open

- “wait, where are you, love?”

- “kitchen!”

- douxie appeared behind you. hmm, he wasn’t in a suit, but he was wearing a tie. how strange. a black tie on a slightly different shade of black shirt with some slightly different black slacks and, you guessed it, yet another shade of black shoes

- walk walk fashion baby

- “aww, you didn’t follow the petal path?”

- the confusion spread across your face “...no?”

- “okay,” he pressed his hands together, “could you go back outside and pretend to come in for the first time, and actually follow the petals?”

- “... come again, camelot?”

- “ah, you know what, fine.” he scooped you up, carrying you to the table

- “doux what the fuck,,”

- he put your feet back on the ground in front of the elegantly decorated table and pulled out the chair with a flourish, inviting you to sit

- you blinked. what. wh- why? wasn’t this set up for his date? why was he motioning for you to join hi-? ohhh. ohhh

- OH

- FUCK

- you quickly pulled your escaping soul back into your body and sat down in that chair. mr casperan, eligible bachelor of the evening pushed your chair and and took his own seat across from you, leaning with his head in one of his hands, like a cool cat

- you were.. still in shock to say the least

- you think douxie just didn’t like the quietness cause the next thing that came out of his oh so suave mouth was-

- “so, you come here often?” accompanied by eyebrow waggling

- “... to your house?” you cracked a smile, “yeah, yeah i guess i do.”

- douxie laughed, “sorry, i was just trying to lighten up the mood a little,” he poured you a real glass of wine that was not a bendy straw to-go cup, “you’ve been so down lately, i thought you could use some cheering up.”

- “that’s sweet, douxie. i love you.”

- fuuuuuccccckkkkk

- oh my stars, i mean you two say ‘i love you’ all the time, but, but, this was a date right, it means something else now, you can’t just say that

- wait, or was this a date? what he just said kinda made it sound like this was a one time platonic cheer-up-my-friend date and not a date-date

- okay okay uhhh

- “so like, what’d you want me to help you with?” douxie blinked.

- “y/n?”

- “ i mean this is nice and all but we should probably get a move on before your s/o arrives, don’t want to ruin the surprise.”

- “y/n-“

- you made a motion like you were about to stand. douxie quickly grabbed your hand before that could happen, pulling you back into your seat. “Y/N,” that got your attention, “I- this is for you, you’re my date, i don’t have a s/o... i-“ douxie looked the floor to gather some courage. there was a scratch mark in the cheap wood where archie’s dragon claws had skidded accidentally. he’d have to fix that. after he fixed this. “i, was hoping,,” douxie rubbed the back of his neck nervously, “that after tonight,, you, would be my significant other?”

- he said that last part so nervously, and posed like a question. a question you had to answer. damn

- “i- yeeEs”

- “oh, okay then, y- yes.” douxie took rather long sip from his wineglass. he set it back down with a start “it’s settled then.”

- “settled?”

- “settled”

- “- yeah”

- douxie stood up, his chair making a loud sound scraping against the hardwood. “OKAY,” he clapped his hands together, “let’s start dinner, shall we?”

- “we shall.” you raised your glass to show excitement. mordrax’s bloody miracles this was awkward. and yet somehow the best thing that could have happened. not the worst case scenario but the best case one. you could be crying and lying on the cold dirt outside a bar right now so

- if awkward is coming with not being heartbroken, being on a valentines date for the first time since the stupid fucking holiday was invented seven centuries ago, fuck you st valentine, and your crush actually reciprocating you feelings and-

- wait hold the fuck up

- douxie reciprocated. he actually likes you. he invited you to this date. he asked you to be his s/o. what the fuck

- douxie came back from the kitchen, plates in his hands. as he set yours in front of you, you just couldn’t help but asking a burning question,

- “how, how long,”

- douxie furrowed his brows, “how long what? the dinner didn’t take lo-“

- “how long have you, i dunno, ah, liked me?”

- douxie looked sheepish, pointing his fingers together, “oh, i don’t know, maybe,, since we met?”

- you let out a defeated sigh. “by merlin, me too, we’re so fucking stupid-“ you wheezed. you couldn’t even finish the thought from how hard you were laughing

- and let’s be real, if you weren’t laughing right now you would be crying

- douxie was laughing too, for the same reason

- and now you two were sitting at this table, laughing like madmen

- it was gonna be a long night

- but, you know what? that was okay

- maybe you’d get a little kiss or two at the nights end

- spoiler: you did

[nopeferatu]

what would you do for a fic titled "the energy between us" or something agkhlsg.

The energy between us....okay so basically all im gonna answer for is usuk LOL buuuut first and foremost I see this as being a human au and I can see alfred being invited out to a punk/goth/alternative bar with gilbert and mathias to go see a punk band perform, and even though its really not usually his scene, gil dragged his two closest friends there in order to go and see his good friend from childhood perform in the band as the lead singer.

Again, its not really Al's style, right? Normally wherever he goes its really easy for him to get along with people because of how friendly and outgoing and downright handsome he is, but he hasn't really been having the greatest time and people are kinda giving him the cold shoulder so hes just kinda sulking at the bar and nursing something like a rum and coke (or maybe just a water since hes 19 or 20 and they put x's on the back of his hands so he could see the show but not drink fhfhxbsh an experience that im very well aware of), when all of a sudden someone comes up beside him and is like "This isn't your usual scene, is it?" and Alfred turns and sees this TOTAL cutie decked to the nines in leather and harnesses and studs and chains standing beside him. And Al just kinda stares for a moment because 🥵 look punk bars may not be his SCENE but he's definitely got a thing for guys into alternative fashion, especially really hot British guys with facial piercings and dyed hair and skin tight pants 🥵🥵

So he kinda gives him the up down for a moment before smiling and shrugging and explaining to him that hes here to support the good friend of a good friend who's gonna be singing tonight but no, this isn't where he usually spends his Saturday nights. And the guy just kinda smirks at that to himself and they start chatting a bit casually at the bar before the show starts, and internally Alfred's really glad because hes like yaaay somebody whos being nice to me and hes also really hot and maybeee I can get his number later on too!

And so theyre chatting and Al's making him laugh and stuff and theres very obviously a strong flirty energy that theyve got between them, but suddenly the punk guy's like "I've gotta go find my mates, but it was really nice talking to you... maybe I can catch you for a bit after the show though." And Alfred's a little sad that he's gonna go but hes excited that he might get to see him before they leave, and he might even get his number! So he nods and the guy gets up and smiles a little and puts his hand over Al's sitting on the bar, and hes like "I hope you enjoy the show despite it not being your style." Then he winks at him before wandering off into the crowd, and Alfred's just there in a shock and then he starts chugging his ice water down because GOD THAT GUYS SO HOT

Thenn suddenly the lights of the bar are dimmed even more, and so he himself wanders off to go find Gil and Mathias cause he figures the shows about to start, and he finds them at the front of the stage basically just like waiting for it to start. So then the fog machines start to go off and people are talking and cheering and stuff and theyre asking Al about where he was, and he starts to say back into Gil's ear that he met this really hot guy at the bar WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN...THE HOT GUY EMERGES ON THE STAGE...and then Gilbert cuts him off and hes like LOOK THATS ARTHUR!! YEAAAH!!

And Alfreds like...STUNNED, just completely aghast seeing him up there because its one thing seeing a hot guy at the bar and chatting him up one on one, but its another looking up at him from a stage and seeing him surrounded by fog machines and cool lights just displaying that really open and sexy confidence of a performer.

So before the show starts, Arthur meets his eyes and he kinda smirks at him before turning and nodding to his band to start, and Al's like *gulp* 🥵🥵 The WHOLE show Al's eyes never leave Arthur because hes just like..a magnet, hes gotten the attention of everyone in the room and hes holding it tight and Alfred is so entranced, and Arthur's eyes also keep meeting his throughout the performance and he even has the AUDACITY to wink at him during one of the songs, and just like...the whole time theyve got this wild vibe going on, almost as if...theres an energy between them....

And then the show finished and Alfred finds Arthur in the back and they make out and he gets his number and they live happily ever after the end

[aceademic]

Chapter 1 of 'Band on the Run' by liz

Feel free to go super hard with the critiscism lol. This is Chapter 1. TW: mention of blood.

Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars, and see yourself running with them. My mother used to say that when we would sit out in the cool Missouri grass stargazing. I just never knew that I wouldn’t need to imagine running with them anymore. Because one day, I already would be.

That one day started the night that my mother died. Peter was devastated, and I had to drag him out of the hospital room. I remember the EKG ringing in my ears and watching the swarm of nurses run into the room.

“Come on Peter,” I mumbled as they closed the doors. He slumped in my arms, and I could feel the sleeves of my shirt becoming damp from tears. A moment later, my arms were cast aside, and Peter ran off down the hall, shoving open the emergency exit door and disappearing into the night. I followed quickly behind him.

“Peter!” I shouted, my voice raw. “Peter, come back!”

I could see him about 20 feet in front of me. He fell in the grass and sat there in a small ball of pain. I fell down next to him, and grabbed his face, forcing him to look at me.

“Hey,” I said softly. “It’s gonna be okay. Everything’s going to be fine.”

He gave a horrified glance, but it wasn’t for me. He was staring at something behind me. When I turned around, my eyes were blinded with a bright light, and as my eyes adjusted, I could see a man with blue skin. I could hear the roar of an engine, and that was when I realized that it was a spaceship. A UFO. Something illuminated over us, like a spotlight on a stage, and I felt a tug at my back, and I was pulled upwards into the air.

I tried to touch the ground, but I couldn’t. The last thing I remember was seeing the face of the blue-skinned man.

  A bright light blinded my eyes once again, but this time it was from an overhead light. Feeling confused as to how I got where I was, I scanned my surroundings, noticing the grimy pipes in the ceiling, the metallic green and grey walls and floors that you could see through, with more filthy pipes lining the bottom of it. That’s when my vision went blurry, the room span past me, and the feeling of dizziness distracted me. My head felt oddly hot and wet. I pushed myself off the ground and felt the back of my head. A glorious red stained the tips of my fingertips. My stomach lurched at the sight of it, and I could feel something going up the back of my throat.

The next thing I know, I’m throwing up in the corner of the room. When I wipe my mouth and turn around, I make out bars on the. I run up to them and start to bang on the bars.

“Help! Help!” I yell, shaking them noisily. “Anyone!”

“Avery?”

I recognized the voice right away. It was far away and came from down the long hallway the bars guarded.

“Peter!” I yell. “Peter, where are we? What happened?”

A clattering of footsteps made my head ache, and soon I saw Peter turn the corner. The smile that lit my face soon turned into a shocked ‘o’ as a blue-skinned man followed right behind him, causing my head to burn with pain. Memories came flooding back in a flash.

When the man reached the cell, I noticed his tight grip on the back of Peter’s red and blue flannel shirt. Peter had no clear signs of abuse on his face, but he was certainly terrified.

“You,” I growled as the man faced me, clutching my head. He gave me a toothy grin, revealing yellow-stained teeth and golden crowns. “What did you do to me?”

I removed the hand from my head, leaving my hand wet with more blood. I almost threw up again at the sight of it.

“You fainted after we beamed you up,” the alien told me. “One of my men dropped you while he was carrying you up to the cell.” He gave me a small little shrug. “Oops.”

He chuckled as I gave him a glare and removed my jacket to place on my forehead so as to not bleed out. “What do you want with us? What are you doing with my brother?”

That same toothy grin returned. “Teaching ‘im a lesson, innit that right, boy?” He looked down at Peter who nodded his head reluctantly, staring at his feet. I crouched down to look eye-to-eye with Peter.

“Hey! Look at me,” I said firmly to him. He looked me in the eyes, the desperation so very evident. “Did he hurt you?”

Peter shook his head slowly, looking back down at his feet. I stood back up and took a step forward, making sure to look him right in the eye. “What do you want?”

“It don’t matter what I want witchoo’,” he said, voice rising and smirk disappearing. “You follow my orders, or I feed you to my men. They ain’t never had Terran before.”

I stared him down fiercely before finally slumping over in a sign of surrender. “Fine.” He opened his mouth, but I interrupted him before he could even start. “On one condition.” The alien glared at me, but gruffly answered, “Shoot.”

“You don’t harm my brother. In any way.”

“Okay,” he answered after a pause of consideration. “Deal’s a deal.” The man took out some kind of walkie-talkie, and screamed, “KRAGLIN,” in to it.

A boy, perhaps a year or two older than me, came running from around the corner. He garbed the same outfit as the blue-skinned man, a mahogany red leather jacket with a bronze fire emblem embedded on it. However, he looked similar to me, with human skin, but perhaps he was an alien too. I couldn’t tell.

“Yes boss,” Kraglin answered loyally. He gave me a small glance, with an apologetic glint in his eyes, but quickly turned back to the blue man.

“Take them two to their quarters,” he said, nodding towards me and Peter. He then pulled Kraglin close to his face with a threatening sneer. “And don’t get lost along the way.”

Kraglin gulped, nodding really quickly, and the alien let go of both him and Peter and sauntered off down the hall. Kraglin fumbled with something in his pocket, revealing a set of keys and quickly opened the door of my cell. Peter ran at me, hugging the side of my leg and hiding behind me.

“I’m sorry about the, um – eh,” he pointed at his head, and when I said nothing in return he started to ramble quickly. “I didn’t mean to. It was an accident. I promise I’m not here to hurt you.” Pause. “Yondu’s like that with everyone, so don’t take it personally. He’s secretly a big softie on the inside. D-don’t tell him I said that. Just, come with me.”

Kraglin gave us a half-tour of the ship as he showed us to our ‘quarters’ as the man, whose name is apparently Yondu, said.

“That’s the hull over there. That’s where we get our orders every morning. You best not be late. But don’t worry! I’ll come get you the first few times!”

“Oh, and that’s the mess hall. You get three meals a day there. You can eat there whenever you want, but I would recommend coming really early if you want the best food.”

“Yeah, and down there is the boss’s quarters,” he lowered his voice to a hush as he said this, looking around as though someone were to overhear. “No one ever goes there unless you’ve got an express invitation or there’s been an emergency. Even I haven’t been there.”

Finally, we stopped in front of a dark metal door. Kraglin opened it for us, and I crouched down to Peter’s height.

“Hey bud, why don’t you head on inside,” I told him. “I have to talk to Kraglin, okay?”

Peter looked between the two of us, but turned around and went into the room anyways. I closed the door behind him and looked at Kraglin, trying to make my eyes look as kind as possible, although I don’t really know how to, it was worth attempting.

“Look,” I whispered. “You seem really nice. So if there’s anything you could tell me about my – our – situation --”

“I can’t,” Kraglin interrupted, returning to that forbidden hush. “Boss would kill me if I told you.”

“Then he doesn’t have to know,” I hissed back.

“I’m sorry,” he said, starting to back away. “I’ll wake you in the morning, okay?”

Before I could whisper-yell at him to get his ass back over here, he was already gone, and I defeatedly made my way into the room.

Peter was already fast asleep on the bed in our room. Instead following in suit, I sat down right in front of the door, staring at it. Nothing would get past me. Nothing . . . not . . . even . . . Zzz . . . Zzz . . .

[sweater-daddiesdumbdork]

Fun Times with Wankers and Twats

Summary- Set with Playing It Cool characters. Mike x You. Going to one of Mallorys one woman shows might actually prove to be a good time Mike finds out. Nsfw. Sexy time. 

Work Count- 5k

A/N- Named “Me�� Mike cause I like that better. Mallory is doing some British Slang, given to me by @what-is-your-plan-today​ (thanks babes, I so appreciate the help) and well excuse how bad her imitations are. Lol

You looked over Mikes shoulder at the computer screen that he had been staring at for the past fifteen minutes, his eyes just roving back and forth reading. Proof reading quickly before he had Scott or Samson read it. Your hand slid along his shoulders and could feel the tension in them, knotting right where it always did when he was close to finishing. Digging your fingers into the muscle and rolling your palm into them made him sigh with relief. “You need to relax Mike, you know its good.”

“But is it good enough?” He pondered, sliding his fingers over the mouse to save it.

Causing you to roll your eyes at him, and grip the back of his wheely chair, pulling it away from the screen, turning it so he was facing away from the screen and more at you, you leaned down so your hands were bracing against the arms on either side of him and your face was inches away. “If I said it was fictional magic would you believe me? Action pack vividness? Dramatic flair making me just wanna throw myself at the main character? I mean, that would mean leaving you for a fictional character, but damn baby you wrote him just that damn good.”

“I would have to find his fictional ass and kick it for stealing my girl.” He said so solemnly that you chuckled and pecked his lips in a kiss. “and I can see down your shirt.” His head tilted, admiring the view. You tipped your own head to see what he was seeing, and you winked at him afterwards. “Preview for later, come on. You need to get dressed a bit more then tshirt and boxers.” Lifting yourself away and he scowled at loosing the view.

“Later? why the hell we waiting till later?” He groaned and tipped his head back, stretching out his arms over his head. “Where we going?”

You grabbed your purse and tossed your phone in, looking over at him low class acting like a child with that scowl on his face. “Mallory invited us to her one woman reading tonight. And were going to be supportive friends and go.”

He groaned once more in the child like whine of his, pushing his laptop shut. “Watch this is gonna be something like the vagina monologues. I can already see it now Y/N. There better be plenty of drinks coming to our table.”  You nodded listening to him and leaned your chin on your palm, elbow to the counter.

“Handsome, would I ever drag you to anything that doesn’t have beer? And You cant bring up that one time at my parents dinner party, cause I snuck it in for you.”

He grinned as he spun the chair and got up to head into the bedroom, grabbing a pair of jeans from the dresser. “Okay, I give you that. And like you said, were supporting Mallory.” You patiently wait, keys in hand, going to grab his phone off the table and tossing it as well in your bag. Mike had a writers brain, scattered and daydreaming alot. He came out patting his pockets, looking around.

“On the table by the door, along with the keys” You shoulder your bag, knowing he was looking for his wallet. Going to where you told him, a big grin crossed his face, and slipped both in his back pocket, wrapping an arm over your shoulder as he followed you out into the apartments lobby once locking the door. “What would I do without you sweetheart?” He kissed your temple and you smirk, looking up at him as you to wrap your arm around to rest your hand in his pocket, squeezing his ass lightly.

“Crash and burn Mike, Crash and burn.” chuckling as the two of you reach the car, you split away to get in on the passengers side once he unlocks it, and get comfy, the bar wasnt to far off, but you suspected you might be giving a few rides home. While Mike pulled off the curb, you dug out your phones and wallet, storing the rest of the bag on the back seat floor.

Mallory was already ringing your phone, and when you clicked answer, she didn't even give you a chance to say hello "oye! When ya getting here?!"

"Mal, relax. Fifteen minutes, plus you saved us a table front row right?" Your eyes rolled to see Mike give an audible groan, making you snicker.

"Course ya blimey wanker. Tell Mikey Boy to quit pissing and moaning."

"Mal said quite pissing and moaning."

Raising his voice he shouted. "This time she better not throw decapitated baby heads at my crotch either. Thats not art Mallory, that's battery."

"Oh what a twat. You can't censor me darlings, cheerio!" CLICK! And she was gone. Mallory was pretty ... Someone all her own.

"Sounds like were betting a British Mallory tonight" you exclaim excitedly as he looked to find parking. You search through the cars cup holders for change to toss into the parking meters.

"As long as its not that German one. Shes always violent when its the German one." He grumbled as he got out, recalling how fond he was when she threw several heads screaming in what you only assume was German, you were inclined to agree. Following him out, you handed the change to him to fill the meter.

Inside the local bar it was dark, a tad smokey, and the clinks of shots being taken at the bar are the first thing to notice. Next is a spotlight flooding the small stage towards the back, and there is Mallory dressed in a black dress, and a lit smoke balanced delicately between two fingers. She was sitting on the edge of the stage, rolling her heeled foot with impatience and bringing her fancy cigarette to her lips.

"My darlings! There you are!" She hops down and you look over your shoulder to see Mike close by, coming right up behind you and kissing the curve of your neck playfully, whispering. “Shes not armed is she?” 

You squint at the woman coming towards you, and whisper back. “Not that I can tell.” Grinning and placing a hand to your hip, acting as if you were checking Mallory out. “Well M’Lady, arnt you looking fine.” 

You could see that she soaked in the compliment, tilting her head back and bringing the cigarette to her lips, pursing them in an exaggerated manner to purr out a ring of smoke. “Thank you darling, its all for the art that is life. Now you bitches come sit down.” 

Charming as always. 

She grabbed your hand, and she tugged the two of you to a crowded table. You promptly took the seat next to Scott, and gave a small wave hello to the other two occupants there, Samson and Lyle. They currently were debating over beer, which was the better kind. Samson was all for an all american beer such as budweiser if his comments were anything to go by. “Why change whats already good! This shit gets the job done.” 

Mike behind you lowers towards your ear to speak with you. “What do you want from the bar babe?” You look down at your friends, arching brows. “Whats good tonight?” Scott just hands over his craft beer, allowing you to taste. It wasnt bad, dark though. Samson holds up the all familiar red and white bottle and gives a low burp, and Lyle, well.... whatever he had just looked messed up, sloshing neon poison in his cup. “My own brew, I snuck it in. Made it in the back of my van.” Yea, Hard pass buddy. 

“Think Im gonna go with what Scotts having.” You tip your head back and nip in play at his jawline, and his hand gives your ass a slight pinch making you wiggle in your seat. Mallory next to you finishes off her shot of Vodka, about to throw her glass cause she was just that out there of a woman, but you take it from her before that happens. 

“Vodka to Wanker! Refill me up Buddy” She yells before grasping her black clutch and pulling out a tube of red lipstick, applying it heavily. 

“You ready? Looks like a good crowd.” You look around the room, and it did seem exceptionally busy tonight. 

“Always, my life is nothing but a stage” She said enthusiastically and puckered her lips, kissing your cheek to leave a mark on it. “Now I must go appease my fans.” She handed off her clutch to you and dispersed to the stage. Mike came back, just as you were digging for a napkin to smudge off Mallorys lipstick, he handed off your beer to you and a smirk played on his lips. 

“You know if you wanted to get frisky with Mal, all you had to do was tell me, dont need to hide it.” He grinned, sipping from his beer he had gotten himself, and set Mallorys refilled vodka towards the middle of the table so no one would mess around with it. 

“You would like that wouldnt you.” You licked your thumb and scrubbed at your cheek. “Help me get it off?” You grab his hand and suck on his thumb to the first knuckle, using your tongue to moisten his fingertip. Smirking as you saw his eyes darken at the sight. Take that Handsome! He popped it from between your lips and started to wipe off the lipstick. 

“I would be lying if I didnt say that it would be pretty hott.” he shrugged, looking at you from a sideways glance while he tipped his glass up to his lips. You arched your brows, and bit your lip, glancing at Mallory getting herself prepared on stage. You know hes expecting you to call him on his shit, but oh no, your not about that today. 

“You know what Mike” Your hand slides against his thigh, sliding to the inside and grasping lightly. “You go ahead and ask her baby, see how she feels about it.” Might have been mean, you were well aware of there history together, Mike having told you when you two first started going out. Now it was truly all under the bridge between them, but he did spurt his beer back in his glass in surprise, causing you to snort laughing. It was this moment the rest of the guys decided to throw in there opinions. 

“You know there aint nothing wrong with adding a little spice to the bedroom.” Samson remarked. “Wham, Bam, Thank you Ma’am.” 

You snicker. “Im sure your wife is all about bringing another woman into the bed to join you two.” He shrugged and sighed at that. 

“She is less in favor then I am, that is for certain. It will happen one day though, I have faith!”

Lyles eyes never left Mallory as he remarked “Hey, as long as you both are into it, I dont see the harm in having a good fuck once in a while.” At this Scott rolled his eyes and shook his head. 

“You all are hopeless, if you love someone, whats the need to add anymore into the bedroom then just the two of you. Its supposed to be an expression of love.” Leave it to Scott to bring in the more serious aspect, you rest your head on his shoulder and remark. 

“Awww Scottie-too-hottie, we all love you.” He resigned that none of you would actually take him seriously, and turned his attention back to the stage once the lights started to dim. Mallory, in all her dramatic glory whipped on stage, her heels clicking, her hand holding her cigarette held jaunty in the air. “Women can fake orgasms, and men can fake a relationship.... My memoirs” 

There was a semi collective groan at your table. And you still having your hand on Mikes thigh gave a light squeeze. Be nice. He glanced over at you and rubbed your lower back as his way of forgiveness, not wanting to interrupt Mallorys opening. “When I was 13, I had my first period...” Oh boy. 

You kinda go in and out, of paying attention, cause Mike reached under the table for your hand grasping his thigh and slid it up, cause sure enough, there was something much more interesting to pay attention to for you. Your palm cupped his erection through his jeans, and he leaned his elbows on the table, hands cradling his face as he watched the stage. You know that apt focus, unblinking eyes and flared nostrils are not because the show was that good. 

Sorry Mal. We still love you though. 

You slide your chair over closer to Mike, changing from leaning on Scotts shoulder to his, and flicked your fingers to snap open the button of his pants. Tilting your head to bite his shoulder, whispering just for him to hear. “Get them down Stud, and I will really make this worth it.” Without looking or acknowledging you, he did as you asked, dropping a hand momentarily under then table, then bringing it back up. 

Drawing him from his pants and boxers, giving him a full palm wrap around, and your thumb circling the head, pressing lightly along the slit, a little moist. You kept your movements subtle, a light squeeze, fingertips trailing up and down his length, which now you could feel was fully perked due to interest in your part. A dip of the hand once you reached near his groin, rolling his testicles around your fingers. Your gaze went back and forth beween his face and the stage, where Mallory started in on her next traumatizing bit. 

“If sex is a pain in the ass, then trust me, your doing it wrong” 

Your attention returns to Mallory, still giving firm strokes to Mikes cock under the table, you could see when he went to grasp his beer bottle, he did a bit to hard, his knuckles growing white, the way he swallowed down his drink was harsh, not a sip but a large gulp. On the other side the rest were oblivious to what game you two were toying at, it made it that much more exciting. That much more of a risk. God you almost wanted to drag him home now. Or back to the backseat of the car, that was fun. 

Tensing in your hold, you felt him stiffen in his seat, and a rugged word commanding your movements. “Faster” and you rubbed your nose in against his neck, kissing that little spot near his ear that always made him inhale sharply. Today was no different. 

“Feel good doesnt it, playing out in the open.” A bite to his lobe and pulling away, sure to keep yourself angled into him. Now you worked him, your thumb sweeping over his head, following the slit collected pre cum, and you jerked your hand faster, to bring him to release. Now his breathing was ragged sharp inhales through his nose, not daring to open his mouth should he make a interrupting sound. Once in a while his hip would jerk, following your hand and you would press your face in against his shoulder to hide a chuckle from you. 

“Oh fuck.” He wheezed and there it was, his cock throbbing, and pumping in your hand, released, and he took a gasp, his leg accidentally kicking against the table leg. 

“Leg cramp babes?” You question to hide from the others who glanced at you with questioning looks, Mike promptly nodded in reply with what you were saying. When no one was paying attention, you lifted your hand away and sucked on a fingertip, tasting him as he hurriedly stuffed himself back away, his eyes flashing at the way you were sucking him off your hand. He groaned and couldnt tear his eyes away. Grinning as you bit the tip of your finger, you leaned into him and slanted your face to fit your lips against his. The tip of your tongue trailed the seam of his mouth and the moment he parted his lips, you plunged in. Oh baby, this was all your kiss, and you were sure to keep all control of it. Drawing back your tongue, and swiping over his teeth, back to tangle with his. 

“You two are seriously making out during this?” Scott chided the two of you while Samson at the other end of the table was doing a fist pump. Lyle at this point was drowsy and half hanging in his chair, probably whatever poison he managed to brew in the back of that van. 

“What? that was riveting emotional story telling.” You smile innocently at Scott who narrows his eyes at you, Mike loping an arm around your shoulder and bringing you in close. 

“We got caught up in the moment, Scott.” Mike grinned, obvious in being a shit about it.

“What was the play about, Hmm?” He arched his brows, and a slight panicked look crossed Mikes face as he sought out an answer hopefully from Samson or Lyle, but they both had a smug look on there face. You two werent necessarily caught, but they all knew something was up. 

“Uuuh er- about her weirdly adolescent life changes? With Wanker thrown in continuously?” Mike took a shot in the dark, and they all grumbled, yea he gotten it right. Dont ask him the personal details, which he was damn glad he didnt pay attention to now. Some things, you just dont need to know. If there was one thing he was good at, it was using his writers brain to bullshit a lie into believable. 

Mallory bounced off stage, her cigarette finally gone off the stick, but she collected her back satchel from you and dug on out. Not that she was a smoker, it was more once she was in a character, she remained in that character. “So? What did all my lovelies think?” 

Everyone was quiet for a moment, occupied with looking in there glasses, or finishing the last swallow or two, Mallory looked wide eyed around the table. “Well dont everyone gush about my performance at once.” 

You decided that you would break the seconds of silence. “Babes, Love. Magnificent, I might leave Mike and shack up with you instead. You get me, your performance, so great!” Shit shit shit shit, what did she say? Something about asses. “I think more men should take it in the ass to see what you were talking about.” 

So this made Scott start laughing, he was just about crying, Mike and Samson both choked on that last swallow, and Lyle just shrugged and gave a goofy grin. “Sure, I try anything once!” 

Mallory gave you the biggest hug and kiss on the cheek, replacing the one she had left there earlier. “Darling, YOUR THE BEST.” grabbing her vodka from before, she shot it down all to once, getting to finally smash her glass on the ground in a dramatic turn of events. “SHOTS ON ME!” She grabbed Scott this time as Mike ducked out of her reach, and she stomped off with him. Mike came back up to you, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you in close to him, swaying a bit to the jazz music playing. 

“You want to get me pegged?” He mused, arching a brow, and he lifted to lick the pad of his thumb, rubbing it over your cheek to remove the kiss mark once more. 

“Well as Lyle said, should at least try anything once.” You grin teasing as you to wrap your arms around him and tilt your head back enough to look up at him. He rolled his eyes, and gave you a playful kiss, nipping lightly. 

“Only thing Im pegging is you when we get home.” 

“Well Handsome, im looking forward to that very much” You are sure to grind your hips against his, and he roughly dragged you into a kiss, hissing against your lips. “Tease!” 

“Got the drinks Wankers, come and get them.” She said in her very fake accent, and you weaved a finger in Mikes belt loop, dragging him back to the table and taking two shots, handing one to him. Straight up tequila, you thought looking at the taunting liquid in the glasses, well it does make your clothes fall off apparently. 

“So let me start by saying, Mallory, as always, great set.” Mike started, followed by Samson saying “Hear hear, I feel like I know all the struggles you went through, and never want to hear it again.” 

Mallory grinned “Theres only five more of these you need to attend.” 

Lyle, he tipped his head and hold up both his shot and poison liquor “Heres to five more retelling of Mallorys sexual escapades.” 

There really was nothing more to add, and the group of you lifted your shots in honor of the performance, and tipped back. That burn made your eyes water, and gasp out. One of you said “Lets do another” It might have been you, were not keeping track... and the next couple hours you all were pounding shots and chasing with beers. There was no way you were going to be driving anyone home. 

Stumbling from the bar giggling with Mallory, you have her under your arm, and Mike is on the other side of you. Her apartment was nearby, as was yours so it just made sense to walk. You dig into Mallorys purse for the lipstick, leaning over the hood of the car and writing across the windshield. ‘NO DD, WE PICK UP IN SUN TIME’ 

Drunk you was a unable to think

“That looks right? They know who it be” You giggle again as you slid off the car hood, and luckily Mike was standing there to catch you as you stumble forward, the two of you giggling, as you use his shirt to stay upright. “Mikey, Im drunk.”

“Me to baby.” He snorted, his blue eyes shining a bit brighter the usual with the giddiness. 

Samson and Lyle went off another way, and you three take to the street. You and Mallory trying to list off British slang in what now sounded like Australian accents instead of British. 

“Knobheaded Twatters” 

“God those dick heads be fucking Mungers” 

“What the hell is a munger?” You question, and Mallory shrugs when Mike pipes up “A real ugly S.O.B” 

This went on for several blocks, getting shouted at from sleeping people opening there windows to tell them to shut up. Mallory threw off a fit with one of them 

“Come down here you Slag, thats right, I saw One Eyed Joe go in your apartment last week!” 

Finally you all make it to a breaking point, and split, You and Mike giggling all the way up your stairs, and your trying to find the key to the door while he is sloppily kissing your neck and reaching up your shirt to play with your breasts, massaging them in a way that had you whining. “Im trying to open the door Babe” 

“And Im trying to wank you” He grinned while biting your shoulder. 

“Is that even a term?” 

“It is today.” He shoves the door open once you get it unlocked and shoves it closed once you two are inside. Hes already shedding clothes, and you go to fall on the couch, arm over your face. “Ugh I cant tonight.” You peek at him and giggle once more as hes hoping around on one foot trying to get his jeans off. He tosses them across the room, any change, wallet and phone went skittering across the floor and he goes over to you, grabbing your arms, you groaning in protest. 

“Mikkkkeyyyyy Im tired” 

“Need an aspirin?” He asks as he gets you up and you lean into his chest, kissing and nipping around one of his nipples, cause you could, cause it was fun to get a reaction out of him, lightly scratching your nails up and down his sides. Deciding to further tease him. 

“No, I need the dick. Now!” Changing your mind, you backed away and he followed, his eyes going dark in lust again and you made a come hither motion. Unaware of how far you had gone, the back of your knees hit the bed and you fell backwards onto it. “Ooh!” 

Mike took this moment to pounce, straddling you and lifting your shirt, he tossed that away to. “Fuck baby, that was so hot tonight” talking about your under the table hand job. “The way you just jerked me off, then licking off those fingers.” You smirked and licked your lips, purring. “It was fun, we could have been caught and kicked out.” laughter bubbling up as your squirming underneath him, panting as you can feel the bulge in his boxers where he was straddling you, and your hands was trying to twist behind you to get your bra off, he assisted, finally pulling it free from your arms. 

“I wanted to be under that table so bad, you have no idea. Next time were going someplace more private.” He tilted over you and straightened out to lay over you, his knee parting your thighs and rubbing it against your core. You might have ground yourself back, feeling the pressure ignite a flame in your lower belly, starting from the core.

“Agree Sexy” He chained kisses down your neck, and over your collarbone, hyping you back up with anticipation to feel his mouth on your breasts, his hands firmly covering them. Getting to his hands covering you, he replaced them, rubbing his whiskered chin roughly in between the valley and sucking on the curve, lap of his tongue swirling and twirling over the erected nipples, making you whimper and giggle again in your drunken haze. Reaching down to slide your hands under his boxers waist band and dig your fingers into the cheeks, pressing him to grind into you.

“Then you agree I need you in me right this fucking second?” You bit his shoulder, and huffed against his neck. Your breasts muffled his next words and you let go of his ass cheek to cup his face, drawing him to look up. “What?” 

“I said, fucking hell yes Baby” He lifted off and luckily you were wearing a skirt, so he pushed it up around your hips, and slid his boxers down enough for his cock to spring out, you giggled once more seeing him at attention and reach up to wrap your hand around the back of his neck, bringing him down to your mouth, needing to taste him, feel him once more. Your kiss is clashing teeth, a pull and tug on both of your part, Hot sloppy, tongue lapping kiss as he shoves aside your panties enough and fills your entrance with his cock. 

So he was trying for slow, but you needed him now, so a push on his ass, and a lift of your hips, you whine into your fevered kiss at how he stretched you open so suddenly, loving that burn. You move your legs to wrap around his hips, thighs clasping his hips snugly. “Give it to me stud” His arms rested on either side of your head, and immediately started to rut and grind his hips, making you arch, going between moans and laughter. “Fuck yes! Oh you feel so good.” Vocal in your current mood, his grunts huff against your neck, your nails digging into his back, rocking with him. 

Having fallen on the edge of the bed, you two end up slipping off, your head banging on the floor and all of him tangled around you. He stutters to a stop and his hand lifts your head to check it. “Oh Shit baby, you okay!?” 

You wince and rock your hips, shuddering when you feel him hit your g-spot. “Yea baby, Im fine except you left me so close to cumming all over you. Dont let me loose it.” You whimper and look up at him, biting your lip as your channel flexes around him, just begging for more of him. So he returned to his fast rapid pace, Even he could feel his fast approaching orgasm, and it spurred him on. “Touch yourself baby” 

Nodding you reached between your grinding bodies, feeling for your bud, and when you pressed down, you jolted underneath him. “MIKE!” It spiked arousal through you to squirt, and you rolled it around with that pressure you liked so much. “Im there baby, Oh god, Oh god Oh fuck, I hope you are to.” 

“Yea I am” Gritting out, his balls tightening and staggering his thrusts filling you. You started clamping and tightening sharply around him, arching your back and grabbing his shoulders to anchor as you cried out his name, himself following right along, spilling hot jets of thick cum into you, pumping himself harder, till finally he was spent, you were spent, both of you stilling in a collapsed heap. You just lazed underneath him moaning on your bedroom floor, right next to your bed. His body sinking on yours, hot and sweaty, using his elbows to keep himself upright enough to not crush you. 

There was a few moments of silence before Mike lifted his head where he had it resting on your shoulder to catch his breath, looking down at you as you, closed eyed and humming softly in bliss was relaxing. 

“Why is knob head an insult? Shouldnt it be kind of a compliment? Im rather fond of my---” 

You shove at him before he could finish, the both of you laughing and he rose to get up, holding out a hand and getting you up off the floor to, his hands sliding to your hip and dragging your skirt down to step out of it, kissing on your neck and shoulder affectionately. 

“You are a knob head” You ran your hands over his buzzed head, and down the sides of his face to feel the scratch on your palms. Mike nudged you back onto the bed, and flopped down next to you, wrapping you in his arms, spooning you back to his chest. 

“Maybe, but Im your knob head.” He breathed softly against your neck, your hands sliding over his folded over your lower stomach, giggling once more as sleepiness started to close your eyelids. 

“Your right, Love you Knobhead” 

“Love you more Twat” 

@what-is-your-plan-today​ @official-and-unstable-satan​ @jtargaryen18​ @p8tn0lish​ @curtisbbq​ @stardancerluv​ @imanuglywombat​

[jackest-jack]

I HAVE ACCEPTED YOUR CHALLENGE I WILL ASK OF NICO AND FINNER AND ALEX AND LOGAN AND NOAH I ALREADY KNOW ABOUT WORMWOOD BUT TALK ABOUT HIM TOO

be ready to create a loooong post

Ok, this got STUPID long and its just a backstory for one dude so Im just gonna reblog w/story for everyone.

Nico was a teenager with a babyface who lived and worked in a dinky little car repair shop. When the cash for that wasn’t enough, he would do street racing for a bit of extra cash. Then, Nico met a well off girl and fell in something like love, but unfortunately there was a magical asshole running around infecting kids with dark magic apathy curse that the girl (her name is mara) is resistant to. They survive and stop the town specific apathy zombie apocalypse and Mara’s older brother probably, who I think is a cop busts nico for street racing (mostly bc he caught wind of Nico dating his sister instead of the racing) and gets sentenced to county jail. (Some of this might not be plausible, but listen. I made these guys when I was like 12 or 13 while listening to a FOB album, and I still love em.) Nico meets another weird teenager, and Mara magics the keys to Nico and him and the stranger break out. They steal a cop car (and end up in a car chase). The weird kid is magic, and takes to chucking fireballs at the police. Nico is now a wanted criminal. The weird kid happens to be a part of a magical semi-underworld that he really talks up, and Mara is taken in by his (obvious lies) promises of better mastery over magic. Nico grills them and turns out whoops, they’re a bunch of teens that were basically adopted after being fucked up by mystical happenstance into a thinly streched orginization that keeps this shit from happening to more kids because the magical bigwigs that are aware of the problem do fuckall about it. This is getting long so Im gonna summarize; Nico becomes immortal and emotionally distant from Mara, he saves a vampire gurl from herself/murdering her family out of hunger, and a really bad breakup/really cool magic battle.

And thats just the backstory. Highlights from more of his life are him, 40 years later, finding that vampire girl he helped at a bar for immortals and semi immortals and dating eachother for kicks whick quickly becomes forever, rescuing eachother from several govt facilities, occasionally passing half a century by living a toothachingly domestic life (like wandavision without the creepiness), them getting invited to way too many historical confrences, living out more than a couple life sentences, leading several wounded soldiers from both sides of a war to safety, maybe dicking around and making that magical teen adoption thing into a recognized charity that they’ll sometimes sneak into themselfs as charity receivers to ensure people are being treated ethically, recreating twilight 5 different times, and so, so much more. Nico outlives the universe and becomes the god of the next one before dying.

If you wanna know the specific fall out boy album, its from under the cork tree. I also kinda set the rest of his life to modern vampires of the city by vampire weekend, and the end (vamire girl dies lol) to danger days by mcr. 

[ellana-ravenwood]

Salt, Tequila, Lemon - Jason Todd x Reader

Please read this intro, thank you very much :  

So. I posted this yesterday, but after a bug on the Tumblr app on my phone it got deleted. I’m super bummed out because it had over 200 notes and quite a few feedbacks that I never got to read because it was accidentally deleted...If the people that took the time to comment things on the story could take a bit more time to write a little comment again and give me their feedbacks, and also if the people that liked and reblog could do it once more...i’d appreciate the hell out of you <3.  So reposting it (thanks god I always have back ups of all my stories now). Written in twenty minutes during my break at work. Bam. Hope you’ll like it :

Also, since Tumblr’s new guidelines and enforcement of it, I DON’T really appear in searches anymore, so the only way for this story to be seen by others than those who follow me is to reblog it. So if you wanna, you can show your support for my writing by doing just that. Thanks very much. You can find my masterlist here : @ella-ravenwood-archives

_________________________________________________

Ok. So. Grandma’s remedy against heartbreak ? Oh, right. 

Salt. Tequila. Lemon. 

Got it. Licking the back of your hand to make the salt stick to it, you pour yourself a massive shot of “To-Kill-Ya” in your coffee mug, not even caring about the fact that there is still some remnant of your cappuccino from last night in it. 

You focus on the sound the liquid makes as it fills your cup. Makes you think about something else. Good. Yup. This was totally gonna help right now. 

“Cheers”, you exclaim to yourself, your empty apartment echoing your voice. 

Salt. 

Wincing. Stingy. Salt on its own is gross. 

Tequila. 

More wincing. Oh my god, it burns. The coffee that was still at the bottom of the cup is an oddly nice touch. 

Lemon. 

The last of the Wincing. 

You spit the piece of lemon you just bit into in the trash and…miss. The yellow fruit falls with a little flat sound on the floor, and you honestly can’t bother to pick it up. Your apartment is a mess anyway, so you just stare at it angrily and pour yourself another drink. 

Salt. Tequila. Lemon. 

You gulp the last of the citrus and shiver. Miss the trash again. 

Damn. This was good. 

Well, actually, it was disgusting. 

You didn’t like strong alcohol and what the Hell ?! Why did you leave a bit of coffee in your cup ? Now that the aftertaste was kicking in, it was actually really gross. If the tequila itself didn’t make you wanna throw up, the stale coffee taste nearly did. Oh, and the salt and lemon combination was as awful as ever. 

You really didn’t like salt, tequila, or lemon. 

But it was still good. 

Because thanks to all this immediate awfulness, you could slowly feel yourself drift into “haze land”, and forget about your worries. 

Forget that your boyfriend of two years just cheated on you with some random woman you worked with. Woman that, by the way, he met at the Christmas “end of the year” party from you work you invited him to…You gave him free champagne and mise-en-bouche and all your love, and he broke your heart. 

It wasn’t your thing, to drink your sorrow away. And it wasn’t your thing either to wallow because of a man…But you genuinely thought he was “the one” (oh what a mistake you would soon realize that was). 

He was always so nice, treating you like a princess. He complimented you daily, and never forgot an important date. He was affectionate, not to an annoying point. He was the perfectamount of affectionate. He was a gentleman and seemed to love you and yet, he betrayed you. 

If a man like him, that was nothing short but sweet and passionate with you, cheated on you, then did that mean you couldn’t trust anyone ? 

Because in your eyes right now, he was perfect. Albeit said eyes were slightly clouded by a a few tequila shots. 

You were downing a fourth drink starting to slowly sob when…

There’s very few things that can get you out of a drunk state in seconds. 

An extremely cold shower could do the trick, for instance. Brings you back to your senses a bit you know ? You wouldn’t magically be sober, but you’d get a clearer mind. Or someone giving you shocking news ! Or like, an event so incredible that your body just forgets how drunk it is for a minute. 

And this event, for you, came at the perfect time. 

Right when you were entering your “sad drunk” phase, which was between the “lol alcohol does NOTHING to me” phase where you downed most of your drinks, and the “dancing on the bar’s counter” phase (a few more drinks and you would have a one woman dance party in your living room, acting as if you were on a bar’s counter and that your name was suddenly “Britney”).

Right when you were about to wallow times a thousand, and cry, and yell “whyyyyyyy ?!” to the sky, arms in the air (drama queen). 

Years later, looking back on that particular event, you’ll start to realize that Destiny HAS to exist. Because come on, it was just too perfect a timing to be a simple coincidence. 

You were about to swallow up your fifth drink, launching yourself head first into the “sad phase” when an ear shattering noise rang all around your apartment. 

Broken glass. 

It was the sound of broken glass. Heightened to the max by your drunkness. You turned on your stool, and…there he was. 

It was a guy. That you were sure of because he had no boobs and too much pecs. And that guy…well that guy just flew right through your window, destroying it. How rude. 

There was glass everywhere. 

How much did a window cost ? Probably a fortune. 

You wondered briefly if you could just use aluminium foil and tape the shit up. There was nothing of value to steal in your apartment anyway, and if aluminium foil could keep meals warm, it definitely worked with a house too right ? 

You sobered up quite a bit, but you were also very drunk when this event happened, so your mind was still in that cloudy weird phase where your priorities were…interesting. 

You worried more about the broken window at first, than about that guy who just launched through it. 

A guy. 

Not just any guy. 

You saw that guy before. 

He was one of those night vigilante your crazy hometown was filled with…RED HOOD !! 

“Thick thighs”, is the first thing you thought right after you recognized him (priorities). 

The second thing you thought was that you needed another drink, and so you downed what was your fifth one, but with that crazy thing happening ended up being on the same level as if it was a second one. You were tipsy, but not “drunk” anymore. 

The third thing that came to your mind was…Is he still alive ? 

No cause, he was like, just laying there, on your living room’s floor, not moving. 

“…Outch.” 

Oh. He spoke. 

So he ain’t dead. Good, means you can have another drink then, you don’t need a clear mind to call an ambulance or something. 

Oddly enough, in your half-drunk half-sober state, this sounded completely reasonable. Nevermind if Red Hood had some internal bleeding or something. He talked. He was probably fine. 

A minute passed, and you just sat there, sipping up your tequila in between taking a pinch of salt and biting into a piece of lemon. 

Salt, tequila, lemon. Great remedy against heartbreaks. 

Wait, were you heartbroken ? Really ? You couldn’t really recall that fact now. But, yeah…it was the reason why you were drinking right ? Because right now, all you could think about was the fact that this Red hood guy had abs for days…

This unforeseen event sobered you up quite a bit, but the two shots you just took kinda brought you back to the same state than you were before.

Well. Not quite. You were drunk as hell again, but seemed to have avoided the “sad phase”. Instead, Red Hood bursting quite literally through your window took you to another road. 

The : “Cool, I got a drinking buddy phase”. Well, taking for granted he didn’t have any internal bleeding and wouldn’t die while biting into a lemon wedge. 

“Tough day ?” 

You ask him, as he slowly sits up and shakes his head, trying to regain his senses. He looks towards you and seem surprised (or at least you think he is, because he wears a mask so…kinda hard to tell). 

************

Jason definitely thought he was alone in this place, because no sane person would just sit there, not saying anything, as someone simply jumped through their window. Nope, most people would just freak out. Scream. 

He knows, because it’s not the first time he falls through a window during a night on duty. And every single time it happened, people freaked out. Screamed. Threw stuffs at him, or hid away begging for their life to be spared. 

And yet here you were, half a bottle of tequila in front of you, surrounded by lemon wedges you bit into, and table salt all over your hand, just staring at him curiously. And did you just say : “tough day” ?  

Well, Jason guessed the empty half of the bottle was why you were so chilled about it all. He sat up, and slowly got back to his feet. 

Usually, going through a window meant the end of the night for him. He’d go back to one of his secret stash, patch himself up and get some rest. Most of the time, he fell through windows because someone pushed him or threw him there…Though today, he just embarrassingly missed a step and fell by himself. 

Of course, no one would ever now he tripped while jumping from one building to another (you lived on the last floor) and went careening into your home (and life). Nope, the official story would be that he fought a fierce enemy and was thrown into that window. Finding fake villains name was easy, given how truly ridiculous some could be. 

Tim and Damian were still after the “Illusive Blue Man” that he totally made up that one time he walked into a poll and had a huge black eye that he couldn’t quite explain…Oh man, he had to stop telling such elaborate lies and just say “I fought with a few guys last night” without more explanation. 

But he couldn’t help it. And those kids believed everything he said, it was too tempting…But for now, this wasn’t the issue. Nope. 

He did a quick check of his body and knew he wasn’t really hurt (thanks “dad” for the amazing body armor ugh ?), so he was planning on leaving that poor girl’s house and send a mystery check in the mail to pay for the damage (money stolen from a certain Bruce Wayne of course, as if he would pay himself). 

Yup. He was just gonna stand up, and go on his way and…somehow, he found himself sitting on the stool opposite side of this mysterious girl, and now she was peppering salt on his hand ? 

“Salt”, she says, and she has a cute drunk voice. Jason almost forgets he just went through a window a few minutes ago. 

“Tequila”, she continues, downing her drink and pointing at the one she poured him. He doesn’t even care the she poured it in a cereal bowl that she didn’t even seem to have clean…He drunk worst things in worst recipient. He turns away to take off his mask and so that she can’t see his face, and “bottom’s up”. 

“Lemon !” she finishes, biting into the sour fruit and spitting it in the direction of the trashcan but missing completely. The lemon wedge goes to lost itself amongst his fallen brothers…

Jason bites into his own lemons, and spits it. Right into the garbage. 

There’s a slight pause, where she just stares at the trashcan, and then at Jason, back to the trashcan, and then turns to him again and simply says : 

“Wow.” 

************

So. This was surreal. 

Here you were. In your home. Taking tequila shots. With…Red Hood. 

One of Gotham’s night vigilante. The most violent one. But the dude seemed chilled. He was holding his liquor really well. 

And now you were talking about your broken heart, telling him the story as if he’d been your friend for years. And he was listening. Intently. And reacting to what you were saying. It had been a LONG time, since you had this kind of talk with anyone, and despite the fact you were drunk, you still noticed how nice it felt to have someone to talk to. Someone that genuinely listened. 

“And then he slept with her !” you say angrily. 

“Nooooooo !?!” 

“Yes, he did ! He slept with…with…what was her name…”

“Nicole. From accounting.” 

“Right, Nicole from accounting ! That bitch ! She always just…counts and shit ! And he slept with her ! Nicole from accounting ! Whom he met thanks to me, by the way ! At a partyyyy !! At my wooooork !!” 

“What an ass.” 

“Right ?! Oh but he had such a good ass though…Quite firm. But whenever he wore jeans, it was super flat.” 

“So, not such a good ass in the end then ?” 

“I guess not. You have a good ass. Popping right out in this outfit of yours.” 

Red Hood chuckles, and the sound of his laughter makes you forget that you just said something incredibly embarrassing. His voice is…nice. Deep. Manly. You like it. You wanna make him chuckle some more, so you say, hoping : 

“And it looks very firm. Not just quite firm.” 

It works. He snorts and it’s very cute. Oh wow. He can be sexy and cute. Full package. You smile a bit dreamily. 

For a second, he’s lost in that smile of yours, and there’s a silence installing itself in the room. A comfortable one. That you break : 

“Ok. So now, he’s not that perfect anymore ! He got no ass ! Penalty points ! I never notice how un-assed he was before…” 

Jason smiles and damn. He’s hot. 

Somewhere along the way, he stopped turning his face away from you whenever he took a shot, and just ended up taking his helmet off. He was probably hoping that you’d black out or something, so you wouldn’t remember his face (or he just didn’t care). 

In any case, you were pretty sure you never saw him before. His face kinda reminded you of an old memory. Of someone you saw somewhere long ago, when you were a kid…Which wasn’t really a big help right ? 

Right. You had no idea who he was. And in your drunken state, probably couldn’t piece anything together anyway. So even if you did know who he could be, you wouldn’t know in the end anyway…Makes perfect sense right ?

What you knew was : he’s hot. 

This white streak in his hair did something to you that you couldn’t explain. And that jawline ? You would love to get cut on that bitch.  It could actually cut a bitch, you were sure of it. Those blue eyes ? You’ve never seen someone with such blue eyes. And did you mention to yourself how muscular he was ? Because man you only saw guys like this in magazines ! 

But beyond his handsome features, he seemed like a nice guy. Like he was listening to you, a total stranger. And this realization suddenly raised your guard up. 

You also thought that your ex-cheating-boyfriend was a nice guy. And come to think of it, who the hell just barge in someone’s home like that, and actually stay to drink tequila shots ?! Wait but…in your guts…it’s not like with your ex. 

You don’t think he’s a nice guy. You know he is. 

************

There’s a visible shift in your mood, after this realization. So far, you talked to him about your broken heart freely, and he listened. 

Oddly enough, no words that came out of your (perfect) mouth bored him. Jason wasn’t sure wether it was the alcohol or not, but you captivated him. 

But in a split second, and without him knowing why, your features changed. You were now frowning. Like an unhappy little kid. It was kinda cute, but he didn’t like it because…why were you frowning ? 

He tries to lighten up the mood and says : 

“Well here you go. See, you didn’t loose the perfect guy, his ass was flat in jeans. Can’t work with that, can you ? I bet we can find other flaws. Make you realize he actually was a looser.”  

Your guard is up, but you can’t help but smile a bit, plus you were frowning just now because you realized you just knew you could trust that total stranger, and it was so weird…. 

Besides, no harm in indulging this, because you’re pretty sure it’ll make you feel better to try and see the bad side of your ex-boyfriend, not just his good ones. No one was perfect. And so, still a bit careful, you say : 

“Well…He never got any of my Tv shows or movie references.” 

“Well, here’s a point to take off of his “perfectness”. Doesn’t get pop culture references. Deal breaker.” 

“Yeah…Yeah you’re right. It is. He also used to hate when I made jokes. I like puns ya know ? Terrible ones. Well, he was always embarrassed whenever I made them in public.” 

“Ashamed of his girlfriend, doesn’t sound very gentlemanly, right ?” 

“Yeah. It doesn’t. Maybe he wasn’t such a perfect gentleman…He also used to not want to go out with me if I didn’t wear any make-up and was dressed just casually.” 

“What you mean, he never just went out with you ?” 

“We only went out on dates. I had to dress up. I could be casual home though…” 

“Well goodie, the man let you be yourself when you were home. Big deal. To be honest, sounds like a douchey move.” 

“That was kinda douchey…I never cared what he looked like.” 

And it’s true. For you, physical appearance wasn’t everything. And sure you thought your ex was hot and all, but only because you liked his personality too. You liked his jokes, you were never ashamed of anything he said. 

And right now, sure that stranger that bursted through your window was hot, but the reason you felt like you could tell him things was because he just made you comfortable by his mere aura. Because he gave you such a good vibe. 

You never were fully about appearances. It was always just a bonus for you…So it never occurred to you why your ex would only hang out in public with you if you were pampered. Like he used to hate when you just wore hoodies and no make-up, even if you didn’t need make-up to be beautiful. 

Comes to think of it, he was very much about appearances…Uh. Interesting. You never realized that before. 

You turn to Red Hood, and the look on your face says it all. You’re slowly realizing maybe you didn’t just lost “the one”. The vigilante says : 

“Ok, so : no ass, no humor apparently, doesn’t get pop culture references, and was kind of a jerk when it came to going out with you…” 

“He did tell me often that I was beautiful though. Including when I just woke up from a night out, and was awful looking.”

“Yeah, but he never went out with you looking like that. He shouldn’t feel ashamed of hanging out with you looking like that. Just like he shouldn’t feel embarrassed when you joke. He can be exasperated, like if you really make bad puns, sure. And he can think it’s unfunny…But embarrassed ? No.” 

“I guess…I never thought about it.” 

“Well let me tell you, as someone who does not know neither you nor him personally, he sounds like a bit of a jerk. Let’s not forget he cheated as well. Like, that’s not something good people do. Especially not with…Nicole from accounting.” 

“Nicole from accounting…Yeah. They’re together now though.” 

“So ? He should’ve broken up with you if he realized he liked her. That’s the right thing to do. Trust me on that, I put villains behind bars for a living, I know what’s right or wrong.” 

“I heard you kill criminals.” 

“Used to. I used to kill criminals, I had issues. I’ll tell you one day if you wanna. It’s a real tear jerker story. With clowns and crowbars. And I’m telling you that because I’m drunk, right now. Also, if we want to be specific, I don’t actually make a living out of putting villains behind bars. Like, I don’t get paid or anything…” 

Jason finds himself ranting about anything that comes to his mind, and though he hears himself claim it’s because of the alcohol he’s saying all this, he realizes maybe there’s something else making him want to talk. 

You. A total stranger he walked upon. Or rather, went-through-the-window upon.  Who didn’t freak out when he went through said window. And instead, invited him over to have tequila shots. 

Because, according to your grandmother, the best remedy to…basically any problems in life, was “salt, tequila, lemon”. 

“She was a wise woman.” 

He says, and you turn to him, clearly not understanding what he was talking about. 

“Who ?” 

“Your grandma. For saying that salt, tequila and lemon was a great remedy against heartbreaks and all.” 

“Oh. Yeah. I wouldn’t know, I never met her. She died before I was born.” 

“Well what she passed on to your parents is great.” 

“What ?”

“Well, that “salt, tequila and lemon” thing, I assume she said that to your mom or dad, and then they said that to you, and then it became your grandma’s advice. Right ?” 

“…Nah. It’s an excuse I made up. Whenever I need to justify something, I just say “like my grandma said, ain’t no shame in eating an entire tub of ice cream if you want to”, and then people are just like “oh yeah, cool”, because when you say the word “grandma”, then it gives a perspective to your words ya know ?” 

Jason had no idea what you were on about, but he loved it. You seemed to be very smart. And witty. And funny. The hell did that guy cheated on you for ? And why was he ashamed of going out in public with you when you weren’t dressed up ?! 

You currently wore “Hello Kitty” pyjamas, had absolutely no make up on, and your hair was a mess, and he thought you looked gorgeous.

“Why are you so nice ?” 

Your question takes him by surprise, and for a few seconds he doesn’t register it and just says : “ugh ?” 

“To me. Why are you so nice to me ? Is it the alcohol ? Does it make you nice ? Or are you just nice to every stranger ? Every girl you destroy the windows of ? Or are you like my ex ? You seem nice, but then you go off and cheat on your girl simply because you like another girl and you’re too cowardly to break up with your current girl ?” 

Jason hiccups slightly, and says : 

“No, I’m not nice to any girl I met. I’m actually usually kind of a jerk, too “brutally honest”. But you…I don’t know. You give me good feelings. Oh and here’s to add on his flaws list. “Coward”. Can’t even break up with a girl, has to wait to get caught red-handed and break her heart. Cooooward. Bad flaw. Kind of guy who runs in the face of danger, instead of standing by you.” 

It’s probably the fact that he said “you give me good feelings” that spurs this in you. That gives you a new clearer perspective on things. 

“My heart wasn’t broken.”

It’s a shock, to you. This realization. This sudden feeling jumping in your face. You…are not heartbroken. You’re mad. You’re frustrated. You feel betrayed. You feel a crazy burning anger towards your ex for toying around with you like that. For not having the balls to just break up, after spending two years together. 

He was suppose to know you. To be your friend. Things could have turned out better. He could have just come up to you, say the truth, and…You were pretty sure you’d still be friend. Because he really was a great guy. 

He really was all the good thing you though about him. He made a mistake, an unforgivable one in your book. But he was a great guy. 

He was just…not your great guy. Not anymore at least. 

And you realized, there, quite drunk, that…It was ok.  

Your heart wasn’t broken.  

Your heart wasn’t broken. 

Your pride was. Your trust was. But your heart ? …Maybe you weren’t completely in love with him. You were best friends, yes, but love ? Maybe it wasn’t love…

Your heart wasn’t broken. 

“My heart isn’t broken.” 

You tell Red hood, looking at him right in his wonderful ocean blue eyes. And he looks right back at you, and just nods. Just like that. And then he pours you one last tequila shot. 

Because like your grandma would say : “When you make great discovery about yourself…Salt, tequila, lemon”. 

************

It took you only a few hours with him to realize that you weren’t in love with your ex, and that was kinda scary. Because this realization didn’t come from nowhere. 

Nope. 

But when he said that your ex broke your heart, you felt obligated to tell him that no. No your heart wasn’t broken. You were sad and angry, yes, but not heartbroken. For you, in that moment, it was important for this total stranger to know you weren’t actually in love. 

Hell, you didn’t even know yourself you weren’t that in love before you talked to him. It just came as a sudden, yet utterly true revelation. 

Because, and this wasn’t the alcohol speaking…You felt incredibly attracted to that guy. To Red Hood. Not just because of the white streak in his hair, and the eyes, and smile, and voice, and abs, and thick thighs. That too, sure, but not only…Nope. 

Nope. Not because of this. 

But because he had a tough day (he said so himself, explaining to you how he went through the window…he was fighting a super-villain when he got flung through your window, tough tough time ahem), and yet he sat with a crazy lady that peppered salt on his hand and practically forced him to take a tequila shot…

Because you could see in his eyes, and felt in your guts that he didn’t have an easy life…and yet he took a break from whatever he was doing to just sit with you and listen to you. He didn’t even make sense, that you trusted those feelings so fiercely. And yet, you did. Because he listened to you. 

He saw you were struggling and he stayed. And though you felt you couldn’t trust anyone at that time…You oddly felt like he was ok. 

Like he wouldn’t be the kind of guy to cheat, or run in the face of danger, leaving you all alone to fight off demons. 

In a few short hours, you fell for this guy more than you ever fell for your ex. 

What did that say about you uh ? …That was pretty pathetic…

************

Jason didn’t think that you were pathetic at all. 

On the contrary. If he went to seat with you, and drink with you, is because he was instantly mesmerized by you. 

And though he didn’t know at first why, now he was sure of it. 

It’s because you didn’t freak out. And something told him it wasn’t only because you were a bit drunk (he fell in drunk people’s home before…none reacted like you). 

Nope. It was because you were special. He just knew it. Special in every way. Funny. Beautiful. Genuinely listening to him when he was speaking. 

He peppered his own problems within your story, as you told him. And you listened. Hell, even referenced a few things he said early on, way later, while you were crazy drunk. You listened. 

You gave a total stranger that seemed to have a tough day some salt. And tequila. And lemons. 

And then you cared. You asked him a thousand times if he was ok, and he basically had to take off his armor to prove it so (to your eyes’ greatest pleasure…mm mm mm those muscles). 

Captivated. He was captivated by you. It was strange, and though he knew it was because you were special, he still was unclear as to why his feelings were that strong. 

For someone he just met. And barely knew. And only knew while drunk. 

You were just…Special. 

************

It was surreal. The all thing. 

What started as a night where you planned on wallowing your pain and drinking…ended up changing your life. 

And no one could convince you that it wasn’t Fate. Because what were the odds that Red Hood would fall through YOUR window after tripping (yeah you didn’t buy that “fighting super-villains thing” at all) ?

What were the odds of his timing being so perfect, arriving just before you started to cry ? Because there was no doubt in your mind that if he had come a few seconds later, he wouldn’t have stayed. 

He would have found a crying mess, and maybe he would have tried to confort you but…You wouldn’t have answered. In your “sad phase”, you only cry and whine. He would have eventually left. And the wonderful talk you’d just have, would never have happened. 

But instead. He came right before your lips touch that fatal shot of tequila that would have brought you into the “sad phase”. And took your drunkness down a notch. Rerouted your evening. 

You weren’t wallowing anymore, you were ranting. 

Sharing your anger and frustration. 

And he helped you realize that your ex wasn’t that perfect…That maybe it was just not meant to be…After all, he cheated on you. 

Uh. What a shame. You didn’t even know his name…”Red Hood”…

You wished you knew his name. 

************

The morning lights were rising, and the bottle of tequila was long gone. 

There were still salt and lemons though. For some reason, you decided to buy the entire grocery store’s stock of lemons. 

Red Hood stood up, and said he had to go. 

He was nice about it. Said it was a pleasure to have spend the night with you. You both laughed about the innuendos that ensued. 

You were exactly on the same page. And he understood all your joke referencing to pop culture… 

But it was time for him to go. And he apparently had no intention of telling you his real name. He didn’t hint either at ever coming back to see you again. 

And there was that. Just a nice night, spend talking to a genuine friend that you’ll never see again. 

A genuine friend that you didn’t even know a few hours before. 

Maybe it was the alcohol speaking. Maybe not. 

And even if you ended up never seeing him again, this evening truly changed your life…At least, it saved you from a heartbreak. Made you realize it wasn’t that.

Though, now, as he climbs out of the window again (he couldn’t possibly use the front door), you feel like the actual heartbreak is starting. 

Grandma’s remedy against heartbreak ? Right. 

Salt, tequila, lemon…

But the tequila is all gone. 

“I’ll send someone to fix that window…Sorry again about that. …Bye.” are his last words, and then he’s out. 

And the tequila is all gone. 

************

… 

…

…

…

Days pass by in a blur. 

Salt. Tequila. Lemon. 

Ugh. But you don’t want to this time. You don’t want to get drunk to forget. 

You don’t want to forget him. And you know it’s ridiculous to get that worked up over a guy you met one night and that will never come back. That you didn’t even know the name of. 

This entire night was weird anyway. 

Getting drunk with a dangerous night vigilante. Pouring your heart out to him, and him doing the same. The hell were you even thinking ? 

Salt. Tequila. Lemon. 

That would be a good idea to do this right now, because man…your heart hurt. More than when you discovered your ex sleeping with Nicole. From accounting. But you can’t resolve yourself to drink. To forget. Nope. Instead you…

*Knock knock knock*. 

Uh ? You take a quick look at your clock in the kitchen.10 pm. Who the hell is coming at 10 pm ?! It can only be bad news. Especially in Gotham…You peep into the eyehole and…

WHAT ?! 

You open your door quickly, and… 

“Told you I’d send someone to fix your window.” 

It’s him. It’s Red hood. But in…civilian clothes. 

His ass doesn’t look flat in jeans. 

He’s holding a window wrapped in cardboard, and there’s a toolbox at his feet. 

“Yeah, you did…come in.” 

************

Jason Todd. 

That’s his name. And connections are fast to be made in your brain. Jason Todd. Bruce Wayne’s adopted son. That supposedly died…ten years ago. 

And is Red Hood now. Oh. It makes sense. Even his little “killing criminals” thing while Batman never killed. You easily put two and two together. 

Red Hood. Jason Todd. Bruce Wayne. 

Wow. Can’t believe you never guessed that before. Of course Bruce Wayne is Batman. He’s got the motive, the means, the excuses…It’s so obvious. And yet, you never realized. And no one else in Gotham ever realized. 

Jason Todd. 

Now you know his name. 

And he’s fixing your window. Nobody ever fixed windows for you before (even those who broke it).

Um. To add to the “perfect man” list : “Handy”. 

Jason Todd.  

He quickly works the window up, and then he turns to you. While he was working you talked, as if you knew each other for years. Joking around. Like old friends. Like old extremely good and close friends. 

It fits. It clicks. It’s natural. You and him, him and you. 

Barely knowing each others, and yet knowing each others the best. 

Jason. Todd. 

He turns to you now, and with a smirk, he says : 

“Ya know, my grandma always say that when something good happens to you, you need to celebrate. And I feel like this, right now, you and I, though I have no idea what we’re doing and where it’s going…Well it’s still something to celebrate. And she always says, my grandma, that to celebrate perfectly you need…” 

You smile. 

Yeah. You don’t know where this thing between you two is going, but you do know that you never met someone who so fully understood you. 

And in such a short span of time. And you know you’re not mistaking. It’s a feeling too strong to be a mistake. 

He came back to fix your window for god’s sake. And trusted you enough to tell you his actual name. Without a second thought. Which meant everything. Especially since from all the hint he let slip through last time you saw each others, about his father, well…let’s just say telling people his real name wasn’t really something he was used to. 

But it just works. It fits. It clicks. It’s not like with your ex, because you don’t think you know it does. It just does. The fact that you say those next few words in perfect sync finishes to convince you : 

(“…And she always says, my grandma, that to celebrate perfectly you need…”) 

“Salt, tequila, and lemons.” 

______________________________________________

I’m so mad the Tumblr app crashed and I deleted the original post...Y’all were great and reblogged the hell out of it ! Which is why it got so many notes in such a short span of times. And feedbacks. I haven’t had that many feedbacks on a story in a long time. So just one last time and I won’t bother you with that again : Please, if you enjoyed this story, don’t hesitate to reblog it and share it with others. People who don’t follow me can’t really find my stories anymore so...you’re a big help by spreading them. It’s always very encouraging. 

And if you got the time, feedbacks are always hella appreciated and always make my day a little brighter <3. 

[fluffyomorashi]

I dooo I rarely pee in public places... I get to embarrassed of the sound of me going or just letting anyone know that I gotta pee >\\<... ahh I’m so sorry it wasn’t suppose to be so damn long lol!

One day I went to a short concert my friends bf was doing at the time, it was around 40-50 min drive to the place so before I peed about 100 times lol. The plan was we would watch and hangout some then go back to my friends house.. well right before we were leaving an new friend shows up inviting us to a bar/Drag show.

So new plan is we gonna go to that for a while maybe drink some and then leave.... well you know how life goes lol, a few drinks turned into about 12 and we were all wasteddddd (except for the Designated driver of course!!! Party safe always my friends!).

It’s fuzzy but at one point I do remember my friend asking me to come with her to the bathroom, and feeling more confident and outgoing-(thank you alcohol lol)- my bladder shyness was gone and I decided to also go! Of course the line was long so taking a min but when we got close to the few stalls I was intercepted by a drunk girl gushing compliments at me.. and me also being a wasted girl yelled back compliments and we talked about her personal life and more (drunk girls are the best they just happy lol)

Suddenly my friend comes out of the bathroom (I didn’t even see her enter) and is trying to drag me back to the others. Drunk me forgot about the bathroom went back to the party lol. Distracted by everything, dancing and talking, I had no insane urge to pee!

Finally we are in the car all laughing and talking but we are finally winding down and relaxing.. with no more distractions just sitting there I started realizing I might not be as ok as I thought >\\< lol.

We keep driving and I’m just kinda shifting around worriedly glancing. my confidence, lowered back again, so felt tooembarrassing to ask for a bathroom stop. Sooo I waited, all I could think of was me needing to pee stuck in a car full of people.. usual I’m collected in a situation like this on the outside, thinking just to breath and don’t think about it to much and stay calm..but mind full of liquor I kept changing positions, shifting and pulling the seat belt off my bladder, thinking “fuck fuck man should I ask? Can I actually wet in this person car?? Would that actually happen?? I can’t wet here omg.. I’m gonna fucking wet here ahhh” over thinking about it made it feel worse.

Fast forward 40 mins of pouty uncomfortable desperation, a few sneaky crotch squeezes, and one friend dropped off later I asked my friend if we were headed to her house next, she said yes and I silently sat back and waited until we arrived.

We all climb out the car and I remember being pissed on how slow and nonchalant they were ((how dare they not know I’m about to create a new ocean if they didn’t speed up!!!!)).

If it was just my friend and her bf I would of been more comfortable to at least hint how bad I had to pee.. but there other friend I didn’t know so just slowly got up..

at the time she lived her parents still andher parents didn’t like alcohol so we had to be silent and sneak in...everyone was goofing off in the drive way while I kinda stiffly stood half laughing half glaring at the door.

They keep talking and my friends bf pulled out cigs to smoke, I watched them for a sec debating what to do... my body was so still and tense I was afraid if someone just tapped me I would slip up and pee myself in front of them Q//n//Q

Suddenly I got a big urge, I tried to silently control it and squeeze my legs together buttt it seemed to just get more and more intense!! I shifted my weight on each foot, Clenched fist, and probably in a weird voice quickly asked my friend if I could have they keys so I could go inside to charge my phone and text my mom we made it back ok. (Lol I still couldn’t admit it)

Understanding strict mom life she says “oh gosh sorry I forgot! Here!” And drunkly asks her bf where the keys and he drunkly said he didn’t know and they both messily looked for them... I’m dying lol

I try to speed it up and ran to the other side of the car searching around, my body could sense I was slightly shielded away from everyone else so bumped up the desperationnnnnn >\\\<. I openly grabbed myself and did a few frustrating nervous stomps and half crouch wiggles as it kept building.. I was gonna either wet or leak very very soon.. I apparently let out some upset noise cause my friend stopped looking and asked what’s wrong.

I quickly moved my hand before she saw the desperate clutch I had and smiled saying “nothing I just slammed my hand into something!” For once I was thankful my bladder was so shy cause my friend talking and looking at me helped me ground myself just enough! the intense urge was lowered for the moment just as her bf found the keys in her purse!

I whip around the car taking them, telling them I’d meet them inside. (Ironically as im leaving her bf bursts out how badly he needed to piss and just went like 8 feet to the side and peed.. men are lucky..)

Now I wanna say I love my friend so so much.. but she’s a lil spacey/forgetful at times, drunk her is EXTRA spacey/forgetful... I run to unlock front door, my legs glued together tightly, andddd it won’t work.. I struggle then angrily turn to shout, then remember it’s like 1am, so held my breath and walked as normal as I could back to my friend saying I couldn’t open it.. she goes “oh well yeah that’s the wrong door! That keys for the garage door!!” I nod and turn..halfway there when she run up to me telling me she remembered that her parents told her to come in the back door that they would leave it unlocked.... lmao...

I think I was starting to tremble from the effort of keeping my cool and my pants dry! I visibly half crossed my legs together blurting out a fast slightly annoyed “ahh-okkkk-god I really really have to pee” and took off around the house as my friend obliviously apologizes and goes back to the group..

I make it pass the fence to the back yard and on the way I’m awkwardly holding myself with one hand the other trying to push pass her dogs that were trying to greet me. I make it to the door and swing it open and jump inside! I doing my stompy potty dance again as I turn and painfully, slowly, try to shut the door as quietly as I could.

It felt my bladder urge coming back but this time way faster and felt like my bladder was getting warmer and fuller with every millasecond!!! “Oh my god I can’t- I gotta pee-“ I whisper as I quickly threw off my shoes, getting way more antsy, huffing as the urge reached the last step...

Both hands holding back a flood, I sprinted on my tippy toes to the back of the house where the bathroom was.

I bust in and again had to slow down a little to shut the door carefully, I noticed my hand seemed kinda wet as I shut the door (even though I hadn’t felt a leak yet??) but I must have, I glanced down seeing tiny drips between my shoes on her floor, with only one hand between my legs I felt the leak continue dripping off my hand.

Door shut, leaking hard and fast, I leaped to the toilet, ripped off my slightly dripping leggings and mostly soaked undies, and peed.

Lolol ahh I was forcefully peeing before I was even sitting down >\\<.. I just collapsed and over dramatically sighed closing my eyes and sagged as I let out the loudest fastest desperate pee of my life >\\\\\\<“

I kept going and going and goingggg, when my stream started to slow down I finally opened my eyes to asses the situation... where I had been holding myself was a perfect obvious dark stop on my black leggings and a few wet streaks.. still peeing I glanced at the floor next and saw small drips/splashes here and there. I gathered up some toilet paper and cleaned up the few wet spots I could reach and dabbed at wet undies...while still peeing (lol I swear it was almost never ending I was filled to the brim >\\>).

My normal stream lowered to a small trickle and finally was done... I felt hazy and weak from the hold and release but snapped out of it remembering my friend would be coming in very soon Q//Q I got up, cringing as I had to slip back on my wet now cold clothes, and opened the bathroom door.

Cost cleared I ran to my friends room and grabbed my sleep over bag taking out pjs. (No extra undies tho so had to go commando) I changed stuffing my wet stuff deep in my bag and ran back to the bathroom whipping up the small leaky mess. I was just walking through the hall to the back door checking if I had accidentally peed through there house >\\\< when they finally walked in.

We whispered and my friend stopped to get some water to take to the room, the whole time I’m just secretly glanced at the floor but I didn’t see any wet spots!

[fart-gate]

SG1

Season 4 episode 8

"THE FIRST ONES"

Notes by me

- the thumbnail is a lizard man

- the BANDANA

- archeologist! Daniel

- "sg11, archeologist survey, P3X 888, dig site 5" is it bad i thought it was sexy when he did this

- I paused it on the fossil and it looks like it had wings???

- Cleo lol

- so the goaulds werent parasites a few million yrs ago. Good to know

- robert rothman is bossy as hell

- old goaulds did NOT have naquada in their dna

"Thats significant"

"How so?"

"I have no idea"

💖💖💖💖

- 🎵sometimes I feel like...somebodys WATCHIN MEEEE🎵

- omg Daniel one punch and your down. Need to have more combat training with tealc buddy

- Daniel gets kidnapped YET AGAIN

- rothman yelling for Daniel was nice actually

- an unas!!! From the viking episode

- hopefully this one doesnt sound like james earl jones

- sg1 said oh Daniel in trouble? I already have my boots on lets go

- P3X 888 is where the goaulds originated? Didnt we already try looking for a homeworld?

- I thought the unas growling was Daniel snoring for like a hot sec ok im tired leave me alone

- apparently nobody likes rothman and yeah i get it hes annoying

- tealc is lead on this one! Master tracker

- "rest!....it means.......rest"

- "grrrrr rest" the stargate programs professional linguist everyone

- love Daniel just talking to himself

- "yes! Very refreshing! ok im good for the next ten miles"

- his eyes are piercingly blue for my pleasure only

- forest sets are my favorite btw

- 2 moons thats so cool why doesnt earth have 2 moons we're missin out

- why does he have 2 phones???

- oh its a recorder

- daniel recording himself: this creature has dragged me around for hours and wants to eat me. But other wise we've become great pals < 3

- "juvanile" he got kidnapped by a teenager akdndjd

- im sorry his eyes are so distracting

- OKAY OKAY when it growls at him and he puts his head down to be submissive hhhhrrrrnnnngggggg

- SHE SPEAKS!

- daniel could make friends with a rat and it would show him all their rat friends and rat culture. I got away with that metaphor but you know what I mean. He could make friends with anything

- I just CANT get over how pretty he looks in this ep??? You thought I wouldnt keep talkin about it??? U were wrong

- this unas whole costume is so cool

- daniel: *tries to drink by dipping face in water*

Unas: what were you raised in a barn?? Use your hands idiot

- how is he swimming with his hands tied

- that goauld came at him like a torpedo

- ok! The unas said you get goauld guts all over your face for being an idiot

- ka means no

- well now hes gonna be wet forever (👀)

- is hawkins the leader of sg11?

- of course Jack sits RIGHT next to the goauld infested lake!!! Of course!!

- ah my favorite. Spit roasted parasite

- needs salt

- unas: this is my cave

Daniel: LOVE what youve done with the place

- hot potato with a goauld head ajdjs

- "yes yes all the kids are playing this these days OOPS in the fire!"

- at least he made him laugh

- why every time one culture shares food with earth its always chocolate?? Why not idk fuckin??? Pringles???

- oh its a cliff bar

- alright. He didnt have to sexually moan while eating a cliff bar BUT he sure did

- this unas is very curious

- "I met my father in law like this" OOF movie reference

- btw the guy that plays the unas?? Amazing 10/10

- ah shit hawkins has a GOUALD!!!!

- the unas have cave drawings ooooo

- daniel recording himself: me and the unas are besties now

Unas: *draws picture of him dragging Daniel to his doom*

Daniel : ......nevermind

- can tealc sense the goauld in the lake?

- when he shoots it out of the air. Invented sexy

- Sam can only sense the ones with naquada!!! This is really cool plot

- jaffa are unblendable. I wonder if the other guy that was immune had what jaffa have

- daniel about to kill him with a large rock and then his chaotic morals take charge again

- btw no glasses Daniel has been here for almost the whole ep

- "its been a hoot"

- WHEN HE PUTS HIS HEAD DOWN 👀👀👀👀👀👀

- "anybody with a snake in their heads, raise your hand!"

- see!?!?! Tealc with the plans im tellin ya

- rothman too damn.

- that guy pronouncing goauld like "goo-ahld" ????

- "this way" *points to a sign that says 'this way'

- hurry up!! Daniel about to get consumed by reptilians!!

- aw hes protecting him!

- Daniel speak Big Lizard Man language now

- "we've communicated, we're friends!"

- LIZARD BRAWL

- KING LIZARD BOY!!!

- "dan-yeeeell??" Oh no oh no I'm crying he wants to keep him

- "sha-ah-ka" he liked Daniel bc Daniel said the word for their moon god ok I get it now

- "whats that mean?"

"I have no idea....but I think ive just been invited to come back one day and find out" 💖😭 best friends with lizard people

~

Whump under the cut

Daniel jackson whump: knocked out,dragged, kidnapped, waking up,hands tied, out of breathe, collapsing, flinching, exausted, leg swiped, fell over onto back, cut on face, bloody cheek, fear, more flinching, noises!, almost sacrificed to lizard ppl

BONUS:

Jack and sam whump: hands tied, less than 10 min

🤓no glasses!Daniel for 99% of episode!

🎶listening to Youve Got A Friend In Me by Randy Newman🎶 bc Daniel and the Unas are besties and I think im funny

[abyss-mal-blog1]

current mind-space//word vomit

it’s amazing how much can change in a few days, but it hasn’t been a week since my finals ended and i already felt so different. i have been doing f45 everyday this week (if not then some kind of workout, but i’ve really been into that recently). i am feeling so much better now without deadlines, sometimes i don’t know if i function better under pressure or not. i guess not, but then it’s amazing how much i can do and achieve under pressure. i need the right amount of pressure, and this semester it has been a little difficult for me to get around that. 

last friday was kinda my last day of finals, i just had an essay to submit, and i am disappointed in myself and my work ethic because i submitted it at 9pm, went to my cousin’s (disappointing) party, and then professor emailed me to say that she cannot read Pages format (seriously smh @ my tardiness!!!), only got back at 1am that night and sent my mediocre essay. i am a little sad about it because i know that is not my 100%. idk why but college so far has just been a series of 80% effort. this paper was an interesting one, on airbnb, on the sharing economy, it’s a performance studies paper where i analyze the hospitality platform in terms of host-user relationship, parasitism and (attempted) to talk about free online labor. it is a little too late now but i kinda want to work on it again and like, submit for feedback. maybe ill ask taylor. 

last saturday was kinda meh, i agreed to go to a *social* kinda event at a bar/club at chelsea, held for Asian-ivy-alumni-people that yanlin invited me too. it was at up&up and honestly a little...i didn’t enjoy it at all. the music sucked, the people were either too dorky or gross or old or weird, and the whole time i just kept saying to myself, “never again”. they said it was open bar but they only served absolut, which was shit. and then my friend’s two friends were...i feel sorry that this was their first clubbing experience. at the beginning my reaction was look at all these ivy alumni! get hitched with one of them for ~da connectsx~ (and nothing else) but no kidding i was actually interested in talking to them just to get to know what people who graduated from ivies are up to, and what are they doing at such events...and are they actually enjoying themselves because it was really kinda gross. met my friend’s friend who seemed like a really smart engineer (he asked for my number the next day lol), and a german dude at the bar who didn’t want to get me a drink. all i needed that night was a drink.....(i’m glad i didn’t drink tho because recently drinking has made me feel all kinds of bad)  we had ramen after at ramen-ya (most probably the worst ramen and charsiew i’ve had but what can we do at 3am and my friend wanted noodle and soup...)

on sunday i KNow i should have left my house earlier to workout but i didn’t. i was angry at myself that i didn’t. instead, i stayed at home and emotion-ate. i must have eaten more green bean soup than my stomach would have liked. what else...avocado? i remember..two bananas? god. this was the day i felt like i was n’s boyfriend because i had to do what she wanted to do. i know i had agreed on going, but at that point i really wanted to go thrifting or something. i mean when i got to central park it was fine and things were good but the whole day just felt like i was kinda pulled into doing something that wasn’t my first choice of plans, not that i didn’t enjoy myself lying under the sun at the park. it just felt like i was accompanying someone. i was half an hour late to meet her as well, and half heartedly got a burrito-wrap at newsbar. if you think about it it is really kinda funny, we’re just buying food and taking the subway to this grass patch 50 blocks away. we didn’t walk much, we literally only stayed at a little grassy slope overlooking the baseball pitch. anyway we went to a dance class after (the class was an hour long but i felt like n had asked me about when and what time we should book the classes for more than an hour by text so i just got really sick of it) i rushed home and got dinner with my uncle who’s in town for my cousin’s graduation. i was surprised that he chose the same japanese restaurant again, after dissing it half a year ago we ate here. the omakase was crazy and it cost 230 per person. (for the most expensive set) it was also kinda dumb because you aren’t allowed to order a different omakase set from anyone else - everyone on the table has to order the same - because of “timing”. i wonder if this is how it is in japanese omakase etiquette, but in any case it really earned them a hefty amount because my uncle decided to get 230 for all of us. qiyang didn’t like and said qiqi had bad taste, hahaha. the food wasn’t bad, i mean it’s japanese fusion, but the prices were way too steep for the taste. anyway enough about the food, during the dinner i think we talked about many things though. i kinda wanted to talk to my uncle individually because i think he is the only one who knows about ah gong, but he was sick, and i could tell he was exhausted. my aunt got a little impatient because i didn’t arrange plans to take their furniture and they were going to throw all of them away and it was actually the first time i’ve seen her get so worked up - but at the same time trying to control her emotions - because she was talking to me. i could tell she was annoyed though but i tried not to take it personally, and arranged it tomorrow. 

arranging the moving stuff was kinda last minute, i was walking to the library for work one day and i saw a truck that said MakeSpace. i assumed it was a kind of moving company and so i looked them up. they seemed to be pretty okay in terms of their services and so i decided to try them out. confirmation and setting up an appointment went pretty smoothly, except for the part where the guy i think his name was joseph, asked me to give my credit card details over the phone. idk why i did that! i stopped though, and asked him why, to which he replied he wanted to key in with the coupon code. this service has so much gimmicks within the first 2-3 minutes on the phone he was already telling me about how the first pick up is free, and that he will deduct 100$ off the first month...when people give you discounts too easily it just feels like a ploy and a thing they give to everyone, it’s not anything special and it’s probably calculated inside whatever we have to pay. anyway, i was just thinking it would be cheaper (assuming the maximum that i would have to pay is ~$500, as i confirmed with them on the phone yesterday), it’d still be cheaper than starting an apartment lease now and going through the trouble of finding two subletters. 

well. idk, it’s also easy to have things all moved in, i have to find a place to store my perishables!

moving is so much work, and storing things. this reminds me of my paper on airbnb and about the digital nomad lifestyle. it is interesting though, that this is what it has become. but the homogenized aesthetic is something i really cannot stand, in airbnb, in coffeeshops around the world..i am sure you know what i’m talking about. a new york times writer did something about this - he termed it “Airspace” - and apparently it originated from Brooklyn. I guess that’s where the art/avant-garde stuff started. well. keep a look out im gonna write a blogpost about that 

moving on 

nat came to sleepover on sunday night and a few days after because the school kicks you out of the dorms you pay so much for right after your final ends. i forgot if we did something fun but i probably just fell asleep. 

on monday i think i went to f45 and did cardio at Dumbo with Gi. he seems like a pretty nice trainer, the first time i went it was him and another girl Bertha (i think my first f45 was last tuesday) and i felt like i had two personal trainers with me - Gi was cheering me on and Bertha was doing it with me. it felt like such a good workout, one of the best ive had in a while. then work, where i arranged the movers stuff. i also realized i bought the wrong date for my flight ticket as my friends and had to buy one more...............

tuesday was the same f45 in the morning, and the bobst after. didn’t really get much work done at bobst. oh i also viewed a 3BR flex at 160. hella expensive and small, and dates didn’t work out anyway. also the broker who brought us to view the apartment was a very nice tall french man and his name was jean-francois which i couldn’t pronounce and asked nat but still called him jean as in jeen instead of john. this is why i have to learn french. you’re embarrassing. i also went to the itp/ima spring show with shubham which was super cool. there were many cool ideas, and i just wonder if i could create something like that. i didn’t get to see all of the exhibits which i regret, but i remember a few notable projects. one was an installation made with keyboards that randomly clicks, but when you hold your phone up it’ll stop. it’s made using 3d gestures. there’s also one at a gallery for surveillance, this team had a thing they call facebox, and it’s literally a box, that when you open it has a webcam that would capture your face, find you on facebook, and print out an invoice/receipt on how much you have earned for this giant tech company.  what else...an AR project that when you scan a food,  it shows you where the food comes from. nat said that she would love it if menus have something they could scan and then have pictures appear in ~holographic~ format, or maybe in the nearer future something on your phone that shows you a picture of the picture of the food. but isn’t it a surprise tho? sometimes the fun’s in the surprise, you read the description, you know what are the foods you’ll eat, leaving room to imagine or be surprised by how the chef puts it together! anyway, went for dinner with nat and jenny - got vegan shwarma (definitely wasn’t worth $14) and went to get crepes with will after. 

wednesday we were gonna go to the dmv but we weren’t prepared. nat also needed to get her passport and she was lazy. wow the number of times i mentioned her, it feels like she’s my boyfriend at this point. talked to famz, sister, and beatrix. am currently considering if i should even go to beijing or just go straight home. fuck. went to bobst for work but no one was there i was just really sleepy. viewed an apartment at 55 morton (it’s a nice quiet residential street that seems to be tucked away from the loud cars and bars and people) then i went to f45 again-varsity!!! cardio!!!, walked across brooklyn bridge (a little regret although i wanted to walk, but my bag was heavy and there were too many tourists to brisk walk) 

also the reason for this is that after my soba/miso/salad/shrimp dinner last night i was just watching a bunch of netflix shows and it was probably the caffeine from puerto rican roasting company - the barista made me a chai cappuccino with almond milk (3 SHOTS!!!)

me and nat couldn’t sleep, i really think i slept for an hour. i watched so many different shows, yoko and john’s documentary, while we were young, anthony bourdain, i was seriously flipping through all the shows and alternating between amazonprme and youtube and netflix and i even tried watching peaceful cuisine and making the brightness lower and had the sleep mode on and wow i just couldn’t sleep

so yeah the birth of this word vomit 

i am going to create more things

[thoughtslikeocean]

New Orleans

June 23

-This was Rhyann’s last day with me. His flight left Phoenix at 1 PM. We spent the morning together and then I brought him to the airport. I came back home, packed, cleaned up a bit and then head out to catch my flight. Traveling was long. My flight was delayed and also I had a lay over in Las Vegas. Which feel very senseless when you’re traveling to New Orleans. Anyway, I arrive in New Orleans around midnight. Britt picks me up from the airport. Traveling is smooth because I decided I didn’t need to check a bag. I packed two and a half outfits and went on about my way.

June 24

-Britt woke up this morning to go to brunch with her friends. She invited me but I was way to exhausted to go so she let me sleep in for a little while longer. Our plan was to hangout and then meet Jarvis later which is pretty much what happened. Brittany had to bring her friend’s dog to the boarding place which was an entire event honestly. Anyway , we picked up some crawfish and po boys and then head to Jarvis new apartment. It’s super cute and in a great location. He’s spending hella money for it but its a cute little bachelor pad though. It’s nice for the season he’s in. Later on Jarvis’s friend Chad comes to join us. I’ve heard about Chad numerous and times and has talked to him over the phone but this is my first time meeting him. This dude is 45 and looks 25. Legit get like Pharell. It was astonishing to see. We all drank wine and chat for a bit before deciding to head to the roof top. There is when I noticed there was a full moon. I immediately sat down and started to pray and manifest that I have a weekend filled with divine meetings and appointments. I didn’t necessarily have a frame work of what thats supposed to look like but I knew I wanted everything to be intentional this weekend. After that, we all attempted to find a spot to eat but that fell through so Britt Jarvis and I ended up picking up insomnia and then Britt and I headed back to her place.

June 25

-For this morning the plan was to meet Jarvis, Chad and Shay for brunch. We got a bit of a late start but we ended up making it happen. We ate a spot in the French quarter called Stanley’s. Their food was pretty good and it was a cute atmosphere. Shay and the kids dipped once they were done eating and Britt needed to make it back home os she could hang out with her friends later. Me, Chad and Jarvis were left so we went somewhere else to grab a drink This is when Chad and I start hitting it off and I realize this is someone who is going to be very helpful in making sure than I am successful if I decide to set up a practice in New Orleans. It literally felt like a divine appointment. It was solicited when he asked me if I knew Dr. Turshá! I was like uhhhh yeaaaaa duhhhh!!! Apparently they went to high school together! All in all, it was an unspoken agreement that we were meant to meet at exactly this moment in time for a reason. Chad had to leave for work so I asked Jarvis to bring me by my grandparents house so I can spend a little time with them. Jarvis had a therapy appointment so I he did that while I was on Belfast and came back when it was over. Grandpa really just wanted to talk about Lazarus and all the BS but I wasn’t about to do that. I had a little liquor courage of course and I was able to just speak candidly on how I felt about the situation. I wasn’t disrespectful at all but I was really tired of him stressing over this Lazarus situation when this boy is gone be just fine. He just wants other people to stress out with him. Anyway so we leave there and head over to this place called “The Wrong Iron” to meet Greg and his friends. We get there and its such a cute backyard ducked off spot. Nice drinks and cool people. I met Kevin, Gabriel and Justin. All seemingly good people. I order a drink called Strawberry Frozé not realizing that it’s made with Rosé. I Got halfway though the glass and my stomach was hurting so bad. So we all made the move to get wings from a place that I cant figure out the name. But the wings were really good. While we were in there waiting for our food, I caught a timely video of Greg falling through a door but picking himself back up mid air. It was classic. Literally just happened to be recording at exactly the right time. We left there and Jarvis drops me off at Greg’s place. Me, Greg and Justin chill for a minute, take shots, listen to music, smoke a bit before heading back out. Arial worked today but said she would come to NO so we can hang out. So by this time she’s here and I figured I would run into her at some point. Of course once we parked and walked not even two blocks, we happen to be right around the corner from where she was already sitting down having drinks. She came with her girlfriend Payton and friend John (JT). We ate another cute outdoor place called The Yard. Took a few shots, danced and ate fried pickles. We then walk over to a place called Dragon’s Den. It was cool but it was still early in the night os still a bit slow. We left after about 10 minutes and drive to this place that we saw on the way there. It was also outside but a little more (lot more) hood. It looked like it was jumping though. So we get out and somehow just walk in without standing in the line. This tends to happen very often when I’m out with Arial lol So we waltz on in. Music is BLASTING. They playing good stuff though. We head to the bar to grab shots. Arial decides she’s gonna find some weed. Greg goes “no way you’ll be able to do that in here”. Of course she comes back within 10 minutes with weed lol Again, not surprised…it’s Arial. They smoke a bit and I dance a lot. Having a great time! We leave there after maybe an hour and decide to drive back to Dragon’s Den. A parking spot opened up for us in the strangest way. Which you know tryna park in the streets of New Orleans can be real difficult. But we didnt have any problems tonight. Everything worked out just fine. Side Note: We were freestyling in the car which is something I only ever do when im at camp with kids. I forgot how much joy

that brings hahah

So anyway we make out way back into Dragon’s Den, which is popping at this point. Good music, got some drinks in our system. Its all well. I even see Terri and a couple other people form XU in there. Arial and Payton end up dipping out at some point during that time. Eventually Greg, JT, Justin and I dip as well. We bring JT to his car and then the three off us decide we’re hungry again! We hit a place that has good fish, shrimp and grits. We were the only ones in there. It was freakin delicious. Two funny moments happened in there. 1. We were so thirsty so we asked if we could all get water. We’d been drinking all night so thats definitely what we needed. I guess the man was trying to be nice ad gave us all free sprites. You want to be grateful but at the same time we def dont need sprites. We laughed about that for like 30 minutes. Cause of course we never went back and asked for the water. 2. Three young white boys walk in. By young, I mean no more then 14 years old trying so hard to act cool. Young dude walk up to our table to tell her, unprovoked, that hes been smoking since he was 12 and some other BS that none us cared about. All three of those kids were weird. Also it was like 4 AM so who’s idea it was to take mom’s car and head out in the middle of the night I have no clue.

At any rate, we leave there and head home. It was 5 am by the time I showered and laid down. WHAT A NIGHT!

June 26

-At some point throughout the night we’d decided to do brunch this morning. I knew Justin wasn’t going to be able to make it because he said he had a funeral to attend. We woke up, sat on the porch and smoked a bit before getting dressed. It was a beautiful morning. We got dressed to a little praise through the speakers and decided on Ruby Slipper. Arial made it there first and called to let us know that the wait was 3 hours so of course thats a no. She then tells us to head to a place called Bear Cat. We didnt realize that there were two different Bear Cats so we ended up at two opposite ones. We decided that it wasn’t going to work. We missed the window of opportunity. So Greg and I put our names on the waiting list for the Bear cat we’re at and there’s a 90 minute wait. While we’re waiting we decide to kill time at this near by restaurant and get some drinks. Once we sit down there and look at the menu, we decided to order food. I ordered shrimp and grits and he chicken and waffles. Before we got our food, out waiter comes to tell us that its restaurant week and that our food is going to be 20 dollars. LIKE WHATTTTT?!?!? We ate, drank, vibes to the music and then stopped by my grandfather afterwards to say hello. Then we back to the house to chill for a minute. Jarvis came back cause I left my card with him and Justin cam back as well. We started nerding out on space/history/physics before heading out to get snowballs and zoom to the airport. I got a cotton candle snowball from plum st. Made it to the airport 30 minutes before the plan was to take off and still got a great seat. I sat next to two women who were on their way to Vegas for a girls trip. One of them had never flown before. She actually did pretty well. A few jumps and yelps but for the most part she did okay. The last sitting right next to me was very nice and passed on some words of wisdom on staying prayerful and focused. Alex picked me up from the airport and I came home only to be craving crab legs. I picked those up, came home and talk to bae while I ate them. He went to bed and I went soon after him.

[thedegenerateasexual]

another big old fuckin rape warning jfc

incest warning too i guess? lmao this book

AN ENTIRE FLASHBACK CHAPTER im not ready

four days after the first encounter and kate hasn't made another move - "But she hadn't moved from the lifeguard perch all week, hadn't even spoken to him. She'd just watched him like a hawk, gaze trained on him, as he'd stroked through the water. One by one the other swimmers had left, and he'd remained behind, torn between disappointment that she hadn't done it again, and complete and utter relief that she was staying away from him."

and then she does: "He swam lap after lap beneath her scrutiny. Then, just as he did one last flip-kick and headed for the stairs in the shallow end, he felt the vibration of her approach in the water. And then she was swimming alongside him. He couldn't believe it. He didn't know what else to do except to keep swimming. What was he supposed to do? ... He thought about all those human, adult things that he hadn't done, that she obviously had—get a job, have a car..."

so then they stop swimming, and she takes his hand:

She smiled at him, much more shyly than he would have expected. She looked down, then peered up at him through her lashes.

"What you must think of me," she murmured.

His heart was pounding so hard he was sure that she could hear it. He had no idea what to say to her, and he also had no idea how to get out of the pool without embarrassing himself.

Except . . . he didn't want to get out of the pool. He wanted to kiss her.

"There's something about you," she whispered. "I've been thinking about you all week. I tried to stay away. I mean, you're a student and I'm . . . well, I'm not a teacher. But I'm close. To being a teacher."

She swirled her fingers through the water. "And this really isn't my style, you know? I don't come on to men like this."

Men. She thought of him as a man. He licked his lips, completely tongue-tied.

what kills me about this is that this is what he does in the show when confronted with kate, or other things that make him uncomfortable (jennifer) - when derek can't think of the right thing to say he goes dead fucking silent. he just plain stops talking. & i'm like devasated at the idea that it's a lifelong habit 

and then, this is the most manipulative part:

"I wish you'd say something," she murmured. "I'm kind of dying right about now. I'm sorry if I misread your intentions. I won't bother you again."

His intentions? Misread them? He was baffled. But then he thought about all the looks he had thrown her way. How he'd glanced up at the lifeguard tower every time he'd made a turn to head down the lane. Maybe he had been sending out signals.

THAT'S TEXTBOOK GASLIGHTING JESUS CHRIST HE'S SIXTEEN

it gets worse! she "assumes" he has a girlfriend and pretends to be all shocked when he says he doesn't because he's "so handsome and all" and then says "look this is happening in such an awkward way i dont mean to crowd you im just drawn to you i cant rly explain it" exCUSE me oh my god and then adds "but i don't want you to think i'm just after, well, YOU KNOW" THAT'S WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE but he's sixteen and never had a girlfriend so he doesn't know any better!!!!

so she asks if he wants to go for coffee and show her around and then adds "we'd have to be careful bc outsiders wouldn't understand" i'm pretty sure they'd understand just fine :///

like i knew it was like this but im still so outraged on his behalf jesus

and he's thinking about how he doesn't know any coffee places in beacon hills bc he spends most of his time out of the community but SHE says:

"I think we're both having the same thought," she murmured. "Privacy."

Privacy, as in being careful not to be seen together while they were hanging out? Or privacy as in . . . oh, God, was she serious?

"So we can get to know each other." She pondered a moment. "Would you think I was too forward if I invited you to my apartment? Just for coffee?"

and he's like panicking running through his options bc he wants to go but he's supposed to meet laura and there's only one car - she offers to drive him home, and oh, wouldn't she just love to know where the hale house is - but eventually he just says he needs to check in with his sister first - and she's like, "laura hale? oh dont be startled i made some discreet inquiries about you" and it doesn't trip his creep radar bc he doesn't have any life experiences but holy fuck that's like right next door to stalking

as an aside i don't like how they use wolf as a verb in this book it's weird - he began to wolf, his eyesight wolfed - like nah. no thanks

uhhhhh so derek asks laura to pick him up in 3 hours and she's like "whats in it for me" and he's like "i wont tell dad i saw you frenching josh" JOSH THEIR COUSIN??

the exact words were josh was peter's sister-in-law's kid

that's, uh

i mean that means peter's brother's kid, then, right? which means laura and derek's blood cousin???? alright then

oh god kate came in the locker room in JUST A TOWEL while he was talking he can't get a minute away from her

laura's like "ur gonna go do something slutty with a human aren't you" THIS IS CONTRADICTING SEASON 1 CANON LOL derek never told anybody about kate! laura is super weird in this book if my 16yo little brother was about to go sleep with a teacher i would never be so chill about it

Oh, sweetie, getting your attention is like shooting fish in a barrel, Kate thought as she drove Derek in her car to her apartment. It was across the street from a bar, which, from her point of view, was convenient for when she wanted to hang out with the grown-ups. She was wearing a pair of jeans, heeled boots, and a black low-cut cashmere sweater. I can practically hear you slobbering. It's like you're a big puppy dog and I am a juicy steak.

this dialogue.......

i wasn't like, having the worst time reading this book, it wasn't actually that bad, but jesus

oh my god

"The thrill of this new hunt raced through her. The euphoria of the chase. She never, ever got tired of dangling herself in front of males of all kinds. It was no accident that in ancient Greece, the deity in charge of the hunt was a goddess—Artemis. Beside her, Derek "Aquaman" Hale had his head resting on the back of the seat and his eyes closed. He was really good-looking. This was not going to be the most difficult thing she'd ever done in her life."

good GOD 

so she offers him a drink, and starts with coffee, but quickly escalates to wine: "I like to have a little something to unwind after I'm at the pool, you know? Lucky thing I live across the street from a bar." She said that to goose him a little, remind him she was a woman, with a woman's needs.

and that he's sixteen.

now she's talking about how she doesn't even know if derek and the hales are the wolf pack she's looking for: She had her orders, but she had to be sure. Kill werewolves, and you were a hero. Kill people, and you were a mass murderer. The group she was involved with had detected werewolf activity in Beacon Hills, and she just had a feeling about the Hales. Of course, there were several other large families in the area that might make up the pack she was seeking. Derek's furtiveness and hesitation might have nothing to do with her assignment. There were reasons other than being a werewolf for not wanting to bring home someone who was way too old for you. It hadn't dawned on him to question the motives of a pretty woman who was coming on to him. He believed what he chose to believe.

apparently she has some tragic backstory w/ this? "Menwerewolves and humanswere so simple. They always assumed you wanted them. Some fat man on a couch burping and watching cage matches? Oh, yeah, you wanted him. A guy who threw you around the room and accused you of cheating on him? Oh, yeah, you wanted him. Like a hole through your heart. But the good one? The one that you really did want? A flash of rage roared through Kate, but she kept it at bay. She could feel it trying to take over, like a wolf scratching at her door. Rage was not her enemy. Rage got the job done. In ancient Greece—land of Lycoan, said to be the first werewolf—men who pissed off the goddess Artemis were ripped to shreds by her hunting dogs. Several times a day, Kate dreamed about ripping various people to shreds. Of course, she never acted on it. She left that for others much less able to control their savagery." see, like, if derek wasn't 16, i could buy bad men in her life leading her to want to use men like this, but derek is a boy and she talks continuously about how innocent he is, so like...no slide

i know i'm just doing a lot of copypasta rn but it speaks for itself: "She watched as Sweetie Derek politely moved a packing carton off her sofa and sat down. What a body. Still boyish, but with the sweet promise of a truly splendid man. If she was right about the Hales, Derek would never become a man. Just as he wasn't really a boy. He was a monster hidden inside a human disguise." that aligns pretty well with the "they're all just a bunch of dumb animals to me" shit she talks in 1.11, also, "Sweetie Derek," this is so horrible

she finally pours them wine and leans against the counter to "give him a view" - "She waited for his response. He was staring at her body. Wanting her. Intimidated by her. She loved it." like this is SO BAD AND EXPLICIT she really does just love that he's young and unsure it's FUCKED

so then we switch to derek pov, and they eat like a light lunch of sandwiches with a long awkward silence, and he does a lot of internal monologuing about how cool it would be if she could come home and meet his family and be her mate

which like...i know how teenagers are but he met her five days ago. tbh real grooming, which is definitely what she's doing, takes longer than that, but i guess we were going for brevity here lol

(in this book derek's dad is the alpha? but in season 3 talia is, so i guess they changed werewolves then to be matriarchial like hunters)

like, she's asking him questions about himself - lucky number, favorite color - she asks him if he believes in fate. he keeps clamming up and she keeps trying to get him to talk so she finally asks about his swimming and he blurts out that there's just so much pressure, even though he can't really tell people about his "double life" and she like IMMEDIATELY responds with "yeah ofc there is hs is so rough like the ppl you have to hang out with some are still like babies and some are all rown up and ready for the real world like you" like...this is classic grooming techniques

and he's like flattered and think she's mega hot but he's also really nervous, and when she leans into his space and asks if he's ready: "He set down his sandwich. His heart was about to burst out of his chest. His body was quivering and trembling. He felt as if he were burning up." and he does say yes so i assume they banged but THANK god the chapter cut to black

[sadrien]

wanna chat? pt.20

on ao3 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20

i'm not dead yet but i'm v close

eponine = alya enjolras = marinette grantaire = nino marius = adrien

enjoy

13:04

eponine: dont listen to marinette

enjolras: Ummm???? LIsten to Marinette

eponine: no fuck u

enjolras: :P

grantaire: ???????? what did you do  

eponine: NOTHI N G

enjolras: She tried to chase Chat after the akuma attack and almost fell in the Seine 

eponine: i did not

enjolras: She was 100% ready to swim

eponine: NO I WANS T

grantaire: oh is that where you went

eponine: f i g h t  m e

grantaire: al youd do anything for another interview wiht one of them

eponine: >:( u arent wrong tho

grantaire: exactly i cant believe you almost went into the river  

eponine: i hate you

 14:16 

enjolras: Has anyone heard from Adrien today??

grantaire: i talked to him thsi morning

enjolras: When was this morning

grantaire: uhhh like…. 2  

enjolras: Sleep??? Is a thing??????????

grantaire: video games are also a thing

enjolras: I hate you

grantaire: </3

 14:25 

eponine: good afternoon i am gay

grantaire: youre bi

eponine: good afternoon i am bi do u have a moment 2 talk about our lord and savior ladybug 

enjolras: Why are you like thsi

eponine: im running on like 5 cups of coffee

marius: lmao lame

eponine: what 

grantaire: ?????

enjolras: Did alya steal adriens phone again

eponine: first of all rude second of all what 

marius: who even is everyone on here??} what kind of nerd club is this  

grantaire has changed their name to nino

nino: blame adrien he got all geeky on us  

eponine has changed their name to ladybugfan2020

ladybugfan2020: hello im still bi

marius: what in fresh hell is going on here

enjolras has changed their name to mari

mari: Who are you??? And why do you have Adriens phone  

marius: because he’s too trusting lol guess who’s thumbprint is in it and has access to everything 

nino: i know my dude doesnt have anything weird on his phone that he wouldnt want people to see but still bro thats ominous  

marius: ;* 

ladybugfan2020: really tho who r u

marius: god i can’t believe you can’t figure it out who do you think adrien would trust not only with his phone but also enough to put their fingerprint in it????? 

ladybugfan2020: nino mari probably not me but a girl can dream ladybug chat link 

marius: i’m stopping you right there because fictional characters don’t count i’m honestly offended is there a block button on skype??? 

mari: Why do you have his phone Chloe? 

marius: wow!!! one of you has a brain!!! a concept 

nino: oh shit he had a big photoshoot today didnt he man i feel bad that i forgot 

mari: He didnt want to talk about it much dont feel too bad

marius: no shame on you for forgetting clearly i’m the only one who cares about adrien here 

ladybugfan2020 has removed marius from the group. 

mari: Alya no

ladybugfan2020: alya yes?? i dont like her 

mari: I mean same but Adrein wont know why hes been removed

nino: mars got a point

ladybugfan2020: ugh y do i like either of u

ladybugfan2020 has added marius to the group.

marius: fucking rude

ladybugfan2020: fight me

marius: maybe i will!!!!

nino: last time you did that al got akumatized lets ton e it down

marius left this group

ladybugfan2020 has added marius to this group.

marius: fuck you

ladybugfan2020: oh u wish

marius: i want out

mari: Then put down Adriens phone??

marius: i’m bored this photoshoot is boring you’re all JUST as boring though  

marius has changed their name to chlo

chlo: a random reminder that i hate you all and am only talking to you because i’m desperate

nino: im honored

chlo: you should be

ladybugfan2020: new question y r u at the photoshoot

chlo: cause i was in part of it?? duh 

mari: You model?

chlo: ok so clearly i need to talking up myself MORE i thought that was something people like you wanted me to stop doing make up your mind 

mari: You cant tell but Im rolling m y eyes

chlo: of course i’m a model have you seen me

nino: unfortunately

chlo: fuck off

ladybugfan2020 has renamed this conversation to “chloe sux”

chlo: fucking this is why i’m not friends with any of you  

mari: Lets be real you wouldnt be friends with us if we werent like this

chlo: probably true

nino: i dunno we were pretty close when we were 6?  

chlo: oh god don’t remind me i’ve blocked that from my memory 

nino: what? dont like remembering how we got married on the playground 

chlo: get out of my life lahiffe

nino: are we getting a divorce?? 

mari: No you got divorced when we were 8

ladybugfan2020: i feel like im watching a soap opera wild did we all get married on the playground??? i got married to this girl in my class when i was 4 and she was my first kiss good times we had to break up tho cause she wanted to go on the slide when i wanted to use the monkey bars 

mari: Aw tragic young love

chlo: not surprised

ladybugfan2020: k ive shared every1 else go share ur 1st kiss

mari: Kim in a game of truth or dare when I was eleven

nino: chloe at our wedding

chlo: lame also i don’t owe you anything cesaire  

ladybugfan2020: i can just ask adrien later

chlo: fuck ok i kissed alix the day before nino and i got married alix kissed me i think it was a dare  

nino: i cannot believe you cheated on me i want another divorce 

chlo: yeah yeah

ladybugfan2020: whyd u 2 divorce anyway?

nino: chloe didnt invite me to her birthday

chlo: ummm????? i mean no i didn’t because it was a girls only sleepover but also i remember YOU had a crush on mari so 

ladybugfan2020: just kno i am living

mari: YOu had a crush on me when we wer e 8???

nino: mari i hope you know everyone has had a crush on you

mari: ???????????????

ladybugfan2020: can confirm

chlo: ew they need me to do something i’ll steal adrien’s phone back later be less lame when i get back 

nino: no promises

ladybugfan2020: lmao anyway now we just gotta find out who adriens 1st kiss was any1 kno?  

mari: Nino would know

nino: i mean i do but thats for him to share im sure he will but ill let him do it 

ladybugfan2020: nice now we just gotta remember to ask ive got it 

ladybugfan2020 has renamed this conversation to “who was adrien agrestes first kiss??? find out more at 6”.

mari: Subtle

ladybufan2020: thanks

 14:43 

chlo: i lived bitch

nino: did chloe just meme

chlo: of course i did???? i mean come ON adrien agreste is my best friend what did you expect?  

nino: nah dude hes my bes t friend

chlo: no he’s not

ladybugfan2020: rude™

mari: Were his best friends???? 

chlo: pff you’re more than just his friends 

ladybugfan2020: ????

chlo: nothing anyway you people are boring god did you do nothing while i was gone?? how does he suffer being in your presence 

nino: has anyone ever told you youre kinda rude and obnoxious

chlo: yeah you multiple times 

nino: cool imma do it again

chlo: where’s the middle finger emoji 

nino: :P

mari: I cant believe you came back  

chlo: yeah neither can i guess you’re less boring and annoying than doing nothing

PM between chlo and ladybugfan2020

ladybugfan2020: can i ask y u hate mari 

chlo: i don’t hate her

ladybufan2020: …

chlo: it’s a long story

ladybugfan2020: well shes my best friend and ur kind of a dick to her

chlo: yeah well i’m not a nice person

ladybugfan2020: have u ever considered trying to b a nicer person

chlo: fuck off adrien agreste is my best friend what the hell do you think 

ladybugfan2020: try harder

in who was adrien agrestes first kiss??? find out more at 6 

mari: Has Adrien seriously been working this whole time???

chlo: not constantly but he hasn’t had much downtime when he’s not getting pictures taken of him they’re having him do other stuff probably cause he’s the boss’ kid but i don’t know i just pose and look pretty 

nino: use no brain power like usual

chlo: haha very funny

ladybug2020: do u think hes gonna read through all these messages???

mari: Depends on if hes tired or not

ladybug2020: mk hey sunshine if ur reading this ilysm thats all 

chlo: ugh they need me

mari: I mean you are like Working 

chlo: whatever we’re almost done so adrien will probably be on next bye losers

nino: bye ex wife

 15:07 

chlo: Ok I see that something happened Oh my username has changed Well ok that explains almost everything

chlo has changed their nickname to adrien 

adrien: I had to turn autocaps back on

nino: dude thats lame

adrien: I’m a lame person Also to answer the chat name’s question Nino 

ladybugfan2020: ???????? what??????????? when did this happen?????? 

adrien: A few months ago?

nino: sounds about right 

adrien: I had to do a photoshoot that was going to involve kissing a girl and I didn’t want my first kiss to be work related I was talking about it to Nino and he was like “the answer is to have your first kiss before the photoshoot”  

mari: And so the next logical step was to kiss NIno

adrien: …yeah sort of

nino: fun fact adrien is a great kisser @alya cause mari already knows 

mari: Please stop talking to me oh my god

ladybugfan2020: i feel like im missing out how do i get adrien agreste to kiss me how did u do it mari? it was an accident right??? just like…fall asleep on his face?  

mari: I’m leaving goodbye I hate you all

ladybugfan2020: </3

[spainmozsombi]

New course and some music

On monday I went to a new course, titled political economics, to see if I like that better than the one with the uncontrolled debates about feminism (Theory of democracy gender and interculturalism..)..I met a german dude (from the first night we went to get tapas with Oliver, and a bunch of his flatmates joined) in front of the class and he told me that there’s a test every week but it’s online, and you can use the internet to solve it so no need to worry. The class itself was pretty interesting, he explained some models, im pretty sure this was the first time I paid attention for more than 30 minutes (since I am attending classes here). Plus I was able to fully understand his english. As I later found out he’s british so no wonder why. There weren’t any politics in the course but it was still interesting so I decided to take it and drop the Gender course. After class I invited Oliver over for lunch cause I made a lot of pasta the previous day. 

On tuesday I went to the same class, it was rather group work then, and the teacher just created a few new ones from the ‘leftover’ people. I got into a group with a german dude (lol), a spanish guy and a palestinian girl. We got some math related excercises to solve. That was the moment when I changed my mind about being in the right place, but as it turned out the rest of the group also wasn’t very sure about how to solve it so that made things a bit better. The second part of the class was more about theoretical questions which I felt much more comfortable with. I went shopping after class, and first time ever, bought some seafood (shrimp!), which I made for lunch right when I got home. Surprisingly It turned out pretty darn good (made it in a pan with olive oil, lemon, garlic and some salt+pepper). For the same afternoon my plan was to meet with Óscar, my spanish friend from Magreb class, and play some tunes on his guitar. There was also a gathering that evening by some erasmus people who play any kind of instruments. After playing a few songs in the courtyard of a monastery we joined this gathering in a park (which is actually pretty nice, gonna go there just to walk around at some point, it definitely worth more than one visit!). People were nice, italian, spanish, german, polish(?), and the rest I can’t remember. We played some songs together, it was all very chill. In the end only Óscar, me, and an italian dude left. We quite enjoyed playing together. 

On wednesday I had no classes so I was planning to learn some spanish and python (programming) and even though I didn’t do much of that it was still a good day cause, well first of all, my thesis supervisor teacher, from my home university, finally replied to my email (I was waiting for his answer for 2 weeks) and I sent him another one on wednesday, what a surprise, he replied in about 5 minutes. I think I already wrote about it but if not then now’s the time, so my thesis for the masters is gonna be an application for mountain bike route planning inside the GIS (geographical information system, IT+geography) software ArcMap. And the plan is to record (by gps) as many routes as I can here in Granada, and put them into this software. So the thing I asked from my supervisor was if he knows any app for phone from which I can easily extract the gps data. His reply was “figure out how to export the data from the application and then..”..Cool. much help, thanks. I’ve been using the app Strava to record my routes and I had no idea how to do the above mentioned thing, but I managed to figure it out. The next question was how to import this data into the software (ArcMap) I am supposed to use for the application. After some googleING i was also able to find a solution for this problem. It may sound lame just reading this but this small step was the thing that already made my stomach hurt when I was thinking about the whole thesis, thus I am extremely happy that I could do it! (Haven’t had the gutts to write this in an email to my supervisor cause then he’s gonna give me the next task and I don’t want that..lol.)

On thursday was an open mic event (there’s a stage, instruments, and whoever wants to play any song can do that, the gathering on tuesday was basically a rehearsal for this), where we were planning to play a few songs with Óscar. (I had two courses that day, nothing extraordinary, on the first one we managed to distract ourselves with Oliver for most of the class so time passed pretty fast. I’m not proud of it, we got coffee after class...the second one was in the evening, that didn’t pass that fast...) So, the Open Mic was in a club/pub called Playmobil. Yes, the toy for kids Playmobil, they had some of them behind the bar. The place itself wasn’t very fancy (kinda like Kiskorsó/jobbmint at home only with less tables, more place to dance). Quite a lot of people gathered for the event, from all over the world, UK, Spain, Australia, Austria, Germany, Czech Republic, etc, (it was an erasmus event so it was expected). There were all kind of performances, people singing together with ukulele, guitar+singing, acapella, cajon+guitar+singing, piano+singing etc etc. We played ‘Don’t look back in anger’ from Oasis, (I sang+played the guitar, Óscar played on the piano) and two Coldplay songs, ‘Fix you’, and ‘The Scientist’. We only planned to play fix you and don’t look back in anger but the crowd seemed to enjoy our silly little performance soooo I looked up the lyrics for the scientist and Óscar played it on guitar. The thing is I don’t have a lot of memories cause I was really, really nervous, my legs were shaking, I closed my eyes while singing, but as I recalled it after I got home (and Óscar also confirmed this) that the crowd was singing most of the songs, they were holding up their phones as lighters and all sooo I think it was good. I wish there would be some videos of it, but I haven’t found any yet. We might play some street music with Óscar at some point, I think we get along pretty well, plus we have kind of the a good match with songs that can be played on the street.

Well mostly because of that I skipped my class on friday morning (which I will drop if everything works out). I handed in my course changing-deleting papers (today was the deadline), hope it will work out. I need to have at least 3 courses. If there are no problem with the number of people for the economic course (there’s a limit. The guy at the international office, who’s in charge of erasmus students, told me that if there are still empty seats in the classroom then there shouldn’t be any problem..) and I can take that, and I can drop the democracy course then it’s all good, otherwise, if I drop the democracy course but I can’t get in to the economic course theeeen I’m gonna have a bit of a problem but let’s not think about that now. In the evening I had the Magreb course were we started working on this TED talk that’s one of the requirements of the course. Our topic is child labour in Morocco (now that i typing it, i think I wrote about this before. whatever.) Went shopping after and made some new new thing for dinner, suggested by my sister (thanks!). Couscous-tuna-olives-dried(?)tomatoes-and olive oil. It turned out okay.

Tomorrow I’m going bouldering for the first time with the group from the magreb course, I’m pretty curious how it will turn out, I still have some problems with my wrist, I actually wanna go and see a doctor next week cause this is getting way too annoying..

That’s all folks!

[adambstingus]

Are You The One Season Finale Recap: Just Put Me Out of My Goddamn Misery (PART TWO)

Since everyone bitches and whines about how long my recaps are, I separated them into two parts. Pick up a book, you lazy pieces of shit and read part 1 here >>

Chuck is like, were not going to win so next match ceremony Im picking Britni and everyone is like Chuck and Alec start yelling at each other and having a food fight, which pisses off Alec more because hes a firm believer that you should never waste food.

Alec: WE SHOULD NEVER QUIT Chuck: Eat a dick dude

Chuck goes up to push Alec, which is a huge mistake surfer brah, and Alec shoves Chuck to the ground like hes made of paper. Alec, congrats, your ovaries have officially transformed into a small chode of a penis. Gotta start somewhere.

Britni is like You would shove Chuck, who btw looks like a Ken doll version of the lead singer of AFI, for money?! Thats some shit ONLY poor people would say. Britni, people have done way worse shit for way less money. Read a book, tune into the news, watch Empire (or read my recaps).

Rashida and Devin are like And I agree. I did not sit through 10 weeks of this retarded shit to watch yall give up.

Devin is like If I can get this fresh batch of mentally incapable humans to win this stupid fucking reality show, it would be equivalent to the greatest feat in sports history. Which sport? Speed walking? Turn on ESPN Devin, I fucking dare you.

Zak and Hannah are mourning the fact that they arent a match, and tbh, I am too.

Cheyenne is talking to Devin about how he is disrespectful and is like

Devin: (actual quote) Im a shit head, but not a total shit head. – I honestly dont even need to try and be funny for these recaps, they all say enough stupid shit where I dont even have to try.

THE GAME

Chuck is like, I was hammered last night and said dumb shit and Im going to actually play this thing. Thank god Chuck, otherwise I seriously would have cunt punted you, and your little dog too! (Britni)

The game is the easiest one of the season: its an obstacle course with girls sitting on their back. There is a true/false section, where if the team guesses it right, then they get 30 seconds off their time.

Zak and Kayla are in first, which is crazy because Zak might be the smallest out of all of them. Alec is terrible with this shit and is back to being a giant bitch.

Melanie and Tyler go to the true or false thing, where Mel admits she offered Chuck a threesome, which is a new low.

Kayla and Zak win, being the Italian stallions. Rashida and Devin get second and Mel/Tyler get third because they answered the question right- aka, Mel is a closeted freak.

Stacey is talking to Nelson about how she has no idea who her match is and shes talking so fast I could have sworn it was a Gilmore Girls episode. You can def tell Stacey is fucking hammered in this, but its cool. I love Stacey. And apparently so does Nelson. Okay whatever.

Meanwhile, Alec is flirting with Amanda and Kiki is like WTF. Which is literally her reaction to everything- WTF.

THE DATE

Theyre hanging out on fucking boat that doesnt even have a bar. That sounds like some Life of Pi shit.

Devin and Rashida are flirting and shes like except this shitty white guy with a butt chin.

Zak and Kayla are like you remind me of my family so they must be a match- some fucking Freudian shit right there. Chelsey the aspiring psychologist is probably fucking creaming her pants somewhere in the distance.

Tyler and Melanie are like, were besties and Tyler thinks thats code for match but Mel was like,

THE TRUTH BOOTH

The group makes a smart decision for once ,(they probably all broke out in hives afterwards because we all know they are allergic to brainpower), and send Zak and Kayla to the truth booth. Hannah is like Hannah save the stupid lines for Hunter please, babe.

Zak and Kayla make their way to the truth booth, looking like a set of fraternal twins walking into their grandmas 90th birthday. Not gonna lie, Im stressed right now. Im on bottle number 2 of wine, and shit is REAL rn.

Results are in and- THEYRE A PERFECT MATCH! YAAAAAAASSSS.

Everyone is screaming and jumping while Hannah is like, . Its okay Hanz, its not like these matches are real. Those rules arent even real! They were real that day I wore a vest!

Alec and Kiki are flirting and they are drunk AF and Kiki is like Shes talking about how she got stupid fucking matching bracelets for her perfect match and Im like

Devin is doing his shit math again using red solo cups, I feel like an algebra class is being taught in a frat house. Aka this shit is dumb AF.

They determine there are two scenarios- one where Kiki mtches with Alec, and one where she doesnt. Guess which one best friends forever bracelet Kiki wants?

The decide to use deductive reasoning and rationality.

Jk, they decide to flip a fucking coin. I CANT RIGHT NOW WITH YOU PEOPLE. Hunter is like Here is a quarter and ew, I dont trust anyone who has change offhand like that. Get a fucking debit card, you hillbilly fuck.

Kiki is upset because they get scenario one, but you know if the coin flipped for the scenario she wanted shed be like PERFECT! ITS ALL SETTLED, THIS COIN IS HOLY.

Tyler is like, Fuck your heart Tyler, fuck it. Austin is like WOAH you need to figure this shit out. Like I dont mean to sound aggressive, but if you fuck us all over were probs gonna stab you.

Never did I ever think that the game would rest in Tylers hands. Take a drink to that.

THE FINAL MATCH UP CEREMONY

Devin is like, there is a high possibility we lose- not high, almost definite. But he thinks they chose scenario one for a reason, that reason being a coin flip.

Ryan gives some speech about love and how they need it and its like, save it Ryan. Empire comes on in 20 minutes and I need to get this show on the road.

Austin is first and he picks Britni– basing it off the fact that he wanted a girlfriend who would be a ghost for most of their relationship and they would get together eventually when it was convenient. You know what thats called? A fuckbuddy. You came on a reality show to find a fuckbuddy. May I suggest Tinder next time?

Hunter is next, and Ryan is like, do you all have a strategy? And hes like clearly fate isnt on our side, so we decided to do a coin flip. So, fates not on your side, and you decided to rely on it again? Seems legit.

Ryan is like, And Connor and Chelsey are like

Hunter picks Hannah, which is a weird match but whatever I dont care anymore. Im gonna be honest, this whole season I thought Hunter was secretly gay.

Devin is up next and he picks Rashida. Rashida, girl, I have been praying for you. Clearly I am a sinner because my prayers have not been well received. My b.

Tyler is up next and were all on edge. Hes like I think Melanie is my match truly and this is the biggest plotline he has had all season, so hes rollin with it. Tyler ends up picking Cheyenne, and everyone breathes a sigh of relief.

Alec picks Amanda, and Kiki is like WTF (again). What is she gonna do with her bracelet?!!!!

Nelson picks Stacey and RyDev is like, And shes like, Okay, thatll work. Cant wait for an invite to the wedding.

Chuck is up next and gives an inspiring speech. Well, it would be inspiring if he wasnt talking to a band of idiots who put their fate in a coin toss and if he didnt look like a homeless folk singer.

Chuck picks Melanie. Shes like, well this sucks because well never date because hes still fucking Brittni. Maybe you can get that threesome you wanted, skank.

Kiki is last, and ends up alone, well, because her match is Mike. #tbt to Mike. LOL. She shows those bracelets to Ryan and Ryan tries so hard not to fucking vomit on her. Kiki is like I am not confident at all Mike is my match and honestly, ditto.

The beams and RyDevs dramatic hand motions begin. They get 4 beams, which they have never gotten before, so #progress..They get a 5th, then a 6th, then a 7th. Everyone is on edge as fuck, and I am stunned into complete silence at home. Even my boyfriend, who has migrated out of the room is whispering no fucking way to himself. Idk if he is saying that because hes surprised Im silent for once, or surprised that they just might actually win.

They get 8 OMG, They literally need one more to win the fucking game. Im shaking.

THEY GOT TEN BEAMS! THEY WIN THE FUCKING GAME.

MIRACLES HAPPEN (queue song from The Princess Diaries)

MTV IS THE LAND OF DREAMS

IM CRYING

IM SCREAMING, I FEEL THINGS

Okay, Im back. Wow Im hammered. So its made clear- either MTV is a magical place where miracles prevail, or this shit is staged AF. I mean, we all saw The Hills.

Wow, thats it for this season and this truly unique group of escaped mental patents. Thanks for reading, even though, lets be honest- I made your shitty Thursdays infinitely better. And to the cast who read and tweeted me, thanks for having a thick skin. Low key surprised I havent received a death threat from Britni by now. Good luck existing in the real world, you all are sure gonna need it. And if youre ever in California, come buy me a beer, because god knows I deserve one for putting up with your shit.

div.body_middle_part_right .bodypart:nth-child(n+2), a.prevBody{display: none;}

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/are-you-the-one-season-finale-recap-just-put-me-out-of-my-goddamn-misery-part-two/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/178560286887

[jacrispyretro]

I went to a party last night and actually had a good time

my friend Maggie who i met through my ex invited me to a party at her place on campus yesterday morning. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go but it was actually good timing because the 14th should’ve been my 6th month w my ex and i was trying not to think about it but yesterday was really hard. and so it was nice to spend it drunk with 30 other people instead of drunk alone in my room

it started at 10:30 but i was worried about being too early so i got there at 11 (people were in and out the whole time so it was fine). maggie was delighted to see me when i got there. it was a vine-themed party so she and sammy o told me to go onto the porch so they could take a video of my vine (it was really loud inside). i had a blanket and sunglasses and was the “all around the world” vine. after that, i went in and anna rae showed me where i could put my stuff and told me to help myself to snacks and the punch maggie made that was very strong (i think anna rae said the word strong about six times in a row to describe it).

so i got a plastic cup full of it - it was just orange punch with orange slices in it and a lot of vodka. towards the end of the cup it was really vodka-tasting but it drank it all. then i had water, and throughout the span of the night, i had two more half-cups of the punch (so 2 cups total the whole night) and about 2 cups of water, if not a little bit more).

i got pretty damn drunk so i don’t remember the order of everything that happened. meg hill found me pretty quick and we chatted for a little. i caught up with joey too. then i just kind of wallflower-ed it near the dance floor while i waited to get drunk. this beautiful beautiful beautiful girl named julia - who gave off major lesbian vibes and who was the “i have the power of god and anime on my side” vine and killed it every time with her homemade pointer wand - came up to me and shook my hand to introduce herself. she was fucking so cute. she’s a junior. she thought i was a first year since she’s never seen me around (im a senior) and she was like “how have i not seen you!” and sam lee was like “you just havent been around when she was hanging out!” and i was like cool sam remembers me

at some point this song came on and seriously like 15-20 people got in the middle of the living room and did the dance that went along with it??? i have no clue what song it was. jean luc was like saying “go forward, go back. go forward...” and like other directions during it. i almost joined in at one point but decided not to, then i saw andy at the other side of the dance group gesture for me to come and join and i said i didnt know the song and he said he didnt either so i went over but then the song ended lmao (side note: forgot i also saw andy before this and said hi briefly)

after this, i don’t remember what song came on a little while later. i was drunker, and kind of dancing a tiny bit. and meg hill gestured for me to dance with them. i think it might have been when Africa came on, or during whatever song played right before Africa. i dunno but that was fun. and i talked to meg a lot which was cool. she’s my year but under 21 so she wasnt drinking (somebody was actually having under 21 people put marks on their hands but most of them were still drinking anyway so i didnt get the point?). she was the “an avocado, thanks” vine, which i found out when i suddenly noticed an avocado in her hand that she had taken out of her pocket. meg asked where i lived and offered her roommate’s bed or a couch to me if i needed to stay somewhere instead of driving home which was so nice. then maggie came over & said she was so into girls and i came out as bi to her because i was apparently drunk enough to do that, so that was cool.

i don’t remember when, i think it might have been shortly after that, that she brought up fred and said she had no idea we had broken up until she mentioned the party to him and she said i was probably gonna be there and that was when he told her (nearly a month after the fact). sammy o was over with us at that point and was apologizing for it and i kind of complained to them that he hadn’t told anyone, not even his dad, and they were like !!! (because we were drunk and everything is extra dramatic then). i told them that he said it was because he couldn’t handle the distance and maggie started talking about how it’s because he’s so sad and he’s never going to be able to have a real long-term relationship because of that and that’s when i said “self-sabotage” which she strongly agreed with. he has literally used that phrase to my face before about himself, including When. We. Broke. Up. he said “i might be self-sabotaging...” WHICH HE 100% was and will do for the rest of his life and just have flings with girls who think they’re gonna live happily ever after, when he knows full well that that isn’t going to happen. i’m adding most of this in right now, i didn’t bring any of this up last night lol. anyway they asked if i wanted to join DND and i said sure, but i don’t know if they’ll even remember. it’s thursday nights which is kind of annoying, but if they bring it up before their next night, i think i might go, i dunno. but then we all started complimenting each other and sammy o and maggie both said i was so cool and i told sammy i thought she was way cooler and so talented and she was so flattered, she’s so cute.

at some point i danced to take on me. jean luc and meg hill and a couple others would shout “AVOCADO THANKS! AVOCADO THANKS!” during instrumentals of the song while meg held the avocado in the air.

this guy elijah from u albany introduced himself to me shortly after his friend joe g did. he was super cool and nice.

eventually, a little after 1, maggie ended the party. i had felt really good and relatively confident all night, and then i cried on the way home over fred. i don’t really know why. maybe i was thinking that if this were last semester, i wouldn’t have to drive all the way home at 1:30, and i’d be sleeping next to him in his apartment bed.

i cried tonight. i felt really welcomed and happy at the party last night, and tonight my friend trevor said it’d be fun if i went out to the bar with him and dave (he even used an exclamation point). and i thought about how nice people were to me last night and how these people seem to kind of like me and i started crying and i guess then i thought about how all these people i want to like me actually like me, but there’s one person i need and he isn’t around. he doesn’t care. and it’s fred and i’m so heartbroken still. tomorrow will be one month since we broke up and i don’t think it will hurt as bad as yesterday but i’m so sad and i want to text him so bad and i want to know he actually misses me and is hurting. i’m so confused. it doesn’t even feel like we dated. i saw a picture of him on facebook earlier and was like “i dated him?” because it just doesn’t even feel like it happened. i wrote down all these memories because im insane and sentimental so like i have these images of us together in my head but it feels like things just got refreshed or something and everything from the last 6 months never happened. and it’s an uncomfortable feeling and i don’t know what to do with it. i loved him and tonight while i was crying i realized i still might and i don’t know what to do. i want to talk to him so bad. maggie said “fuck fred!” last night at the end of that conversation about him and i laughed at the time because i was wasted and felt great but now i have a lump in my throat because i just want him in my life again. im so hurt still and i thought i was doing better but i’m really aching so bad.

wow when i tried to start writing this 6 hours ago it was going to be a happy post but now that i’ve been crying it just sucks.