#and i just fucking know theyre gonna be posting that damn picture of a corpse too cause tiktok dont give a damn about moderation fr.

[grimmjow]

the way tiktok has literally been unusable for the last week cause all it wanted to do was show me ppl talking about one direction / liam payne n why they think he shouldnt even be alive...... im not even opening that damn app i just know its gonna be on some absolute bullshit 💀

[ca1e70-deactivated]

a list of my entirely way too niche headcanons ive actually implemented for everyones imagination:

name options ive used and refuse to retire: david elizabeth strider (sometimes i dont feel like being a douche to others and saying thats not his name), harley davidson strider, and david james strider for the sake of simplicity

im not gonna tell yall the like. oc exes ive given him bc thatll take eighteen years. 

i dont rlly have an explanation on the ghost thing besides the fact he just can? ive occasionally pulled from family ghost stories and experiences bc i somehow got landed with family members who lived in a haunted house for a decade and enjoy scaring me with all the stories (including the time my cousin literally died on the kitchen floor from a bronchial spasm and one of the friends that was over asked my aunt later what was up with the old man she saw in the corner of the room that night - my cousin is fine btw shes just a huge bitch and a third grade teacher and i dont like her)

whether or not hes done drugs is based on absolutely nothing besides how im feeling in that moment. either hes the designated driver and sober friend forever or he got fired from his job after doing a line at work during graveyard with some random customers theres no inbetween (this absolutely happened @ waho. if dave works at waho hes a mess of a person and thats on the diner itself.)

ok look i hc dave w/schizophrenia besides when i was 14 i had a hyperfixation with learning about it and then at 16 was prescribed a medication and had side effects so wack my therapist genuinely thought 14 yr old me was onto something and its a weird way to cope with the idea that lady put in my head that i might “develop it in my twenties” which i turn 20 this year and i havent been able to stop obsessing and panicking over the prospect so PLEASE dont come in my inbox calling me ableist im not out here all harley quinn in suicide squad with the voices ok hes medicated, he goes to therapy, the hard fast delusion that lil cal was nearly sentient and informed bro of every single thing dave did no matter how asinine it was is no longer a debilitatingly affecting him ANYWAYS

i actually use the chicken/egg farming family pretty often just because its hilarious to me to give dave like. an actual mom and dad. hes literally an uncle to like three different kids he just never visits because they make fun of his skinny jeans and he hates one of his (incredibly bare-bones ocs all of them) brothers who threatened to bash his head in with a little league bat after dave broke his star wars lego set apart on accident (but not rlly) so their parents were like “why dont you stay with your brother in the big city for a lil while champ” and then they just never picked him back up? and thats on favoritism 

the other one is that his name is actually david reed and hes the middle child of a family of three who literally live the standard golden retriever white middle class life only they went to disney land or something equally as dumb one year when dave was like 6 and he wandered off so bro literally just went “huh free game” because frankly he was an idiot who thought maybe i should take this kid home because its real dangerous in parking lots and then it was too late to NOT have it seem like a kidnapping and thats why daves never had a summer job, seen his birth certificate, or gone to school. but vaguely remembers what kindergarten was like and having a pet dog and calling someone mom as a kid. 

im not making a bullet point about his sex life headcanons just use your imagination and acknowledge the fact bro essentially worked within the sex industry and i enjoy putting dave through trauma as a catharsis 

i stopped doing this one usually but if he did go to school hes been in percussion since fifth grade and played the drums in his high schools jazz band as well as various edgy teenager garage bands he likes to pretend dont have a youtube presence and that hes absolutely never been shirtless in front of plenty of his classmates because he wore a hoodie to a show like an idiot. idk occasionally ill put him in an actual band he doesnt hate but keeps separate from his lil turntechGodhead internet persona (which i will ALSO touch upon in a sec) until they wind up getting looped into a tour with some bigger named band that has a show in *insert beta kid here*’s city and hes gotta come clean solely so he can visit his online friend. sorry derseasterous thats the one time weve ever run into each other and i made him have a crush on one of his bandmates i was in my anti-daverose phase where i made dave a hoe and also didnt want to admit i still loved the ship all these years later 

i hate it so much but you know the whole vr loli trap voice shit that was popular a while ago? hes fucking baller at it for some reason. he did it as a joke while talking to bro and they both about shat their pants. if im feeling real ambitious, hes got a separate soundcloud solely dedicated to doing dumbass rap covers or making his own but in the voice under the pseudonym elizabeth “beth” davids that he will never admit is his. well, he will, but hes gonna be really fucking embarrassed about it. irony or not.

talking abt seperate soundclouds and stuff ive always had it where turntechGodhead was his like. essentially internet fucking persona facade shit he used because we all had that phase where we wanted memorable urls and stuff but also didnt want to totally ignore the nagging fear of people finding you in real life, until it turned into real life ppl finding you on the internet. so he also has basically an adjacent set of social media under the same name but its just a boring username i havent decided on so everyone he knows irl doesnt mix up with what hes made for himself as TG and the people he knows as TG dont know what highschool he goes to. (this occasionally comes with the territory of ppl on parp being pissed that daves “lying” or “hiding things” from his friends as if he was doing it out of spite instead of just keeping embarrassing tagged photos and videos from football games or when he ate shit at the skatepark from fucking with his “rap career”)

every once in a while i get on a kick where hes just german. like, i just replace houston texas with hamburg germany and have him apply to a university in whatever state is applicable for whoever im chatting with and it goes from there? sometimes he moved when he was little and went through the whole visa thing, sometimes he didnt go through the visa thing, sometimes hes a dual citizen because of family and shit, its all dependent on what suits the situation best. 

one that ive been fucking with for a while but hardly break out (until recently with like 5 roses in the span of one day hell yeah) is that he has a neighbor at the end of the hall who is like a thousand year old witch lady that hes basically adopted as his mother figure in lieu of not having one and shes totally cool with it, especially bc when she kicks the bucket she fully plans on giving dave all her occult stuff so her figure-skating coach and realtor daughter doesnt sell it at a garage sale and lets it all go to waste. she also once brought rose up by name in a conversation without any prompting of her existence which dave didnt realize for days, and then one time cryptically stopped and stared at an empty space in the wall, went “she has potential, you know.” then looked at him sitting on her kitchen counter with a smile “lots of it” and hes thought about that weekly ever since. (it is important to note one of the occult items he leaves her is literally her own personal book of shadows shes been filling out for decades its like a 600 page leatherbound book dave has no idea what its used for but the sheer amount of homemade spells and etc in it is like. gonna murder rose the second this chick gets her hands on it i promise you.)

theres the standard strife shit? im not rlly gonna get into those theyre all basically cookie cutter bullshit. its just standard bro and dave abuse talk. i like to inclulde the whole 24hr live cam up in the apartment that definitely watches dave in every room besides his own and the bathroom, but that quickly delves into the prospect of middle-aged men stalking him online and basically sexually harassing him in his own god damn home by talking about how they can see him just trying to take his shoes off in the living room after getting home and frankly? its not one of my best takes! but once you throw it into the headcanon bin, its there forever. 

he actually really does do something with his photography but not enough to warrant anything exciting, but he has his own branding for it and regularly takes pictures of his friends or anything else he thinks is moderately interesting enough to take pictures of, but those are just thrown into shoeboxes under his bed in favor of posting genuine shots because he wants to keep his image intact and blurry photos of jade smiling in the tree they climbed up together while bec paws at the base of it while whining isnt exactly something he wants the whole world to see.

i also pretty often but him into either paleontology OR i put him down as trying to become a mortician because he thinks handing roadkill once he graduated from museum giftshop specimens to doing his own taxidermy on the side has prepared him enough to perform an occasional autopsy and start embalming real human corpses. (sometimes i put my own desires in and make them his bc i have to project at some point and put him through the same EMT course i dropped out of bc it was one semester and he already has pretty decent first aid skills, but he definitely didnt expect it to be as fucking wild at times as it is, but whats he gonna do? get a job back at waffle house? the company hes working for just offered to pay like half his associates in paramedicine tuition and hes already got all his pre-recs done when he started for paleo. at least its a stable job and hes got the ability to be compassionate in the moment) 

im running out of things that ive done to the poor kid. OH 

hes not a virgin he had a girlfriend all four years of high school (shes also one of his optional and designated exes plz keep up) and their relationship ends in one of two ways: she dies in a car accident a week before their high school graduation, or she stops talking to him entirely a week after their high school graduation until a couple years later she gets into (guess what) a car accident with her current wife/girlfriend and dies which leaves behind their daughter. who just so happens to also be daves daughter. her name is hannah and i love her like my own but no one ever likes her and thats on the conditioning of dirk. does dave end up taking her in? yes. shes awesome and the first time he takes her to the park to like run off some fucking steam she disappears for two minutes and dave is moderately terrified until she comes back holding a dead baby squirrel and thats the moment he realizes huh maybe things really do be genetic.

ok at the bottom of the list im gonna add the couple of times hes been a camboy which usually coincides with the live apartment cam thing and the amount of people in his dms calling him hot or whatever, but typically its more of a started the day he turned 18 and basically dipped around 20 in favor of showing up randomly with no warning to complain about a video game dick in hand because it gives him an outlet that wont annoy his friends bc this is the fifteenth time hes had a lot to say this week about a certain boss battle and also the comments fuel his ego and daddy issues.

the last one wasnt the bottom but literally unless its explicitly proven otherwise every time anyone rps with me there is the underlying fact dave strider was a goalie on his high school lacrosse teams all four years and (shocker another one) definitely had the hots for one of his teammates like major hots like first gay experience hots. like it was painfully obvious that teammate also liked him back hots. like one night at a team sleepover one of the other guys was like can yall just makeout and get it over with were fucking tired and dave really had the balls to be offended and ask what the fuck they were talking about while literally sitting halfway in the mans lap bc for some reason they had to share the same chair. 

he is also guilty until proven innocent of being the worlds biggest loner outside of that sports team and even though hes literally a jock he still opts to eat his lunch alone in the hallway or something like that and has a tendency to leave girls on read, but bc hes got an in with the rest of the jocks hes basically drug around to plenty of parties and since hes conventionally attractive enough and popular in the aloof way that he is, hes got plenty of tagged insta posts and twitter directs and snapchat streaks going. 

THESE WERE ALL NO GAME AND DONT INVOLVE SHIPS BC I LIKE TO KEEP MY OPTIONS OPEN AND THEYRE LITERALLY ALL BASED OFF RPS IVE DONE I HOPE YALL JUDGE ME ACCORDINGLY

[jazzmckay]

i bought the original fallout games, here is a semi-liveblog of how fo1 went, with pictures. this is a very long wall of text and image heavy combo post

lots of spoilers, obviously

warnings for video game animal death, sadly

- i made a character with stats that are heavily recommended for a smooth fo1 playthrough since i wasnt sure how well i’d take to the old mechanics and such, but i definitely plan to replay sometime with an unarmed build instead because unarmed is My Jam

- in shady sands, i found a book with a cat on it in a bathroom that gave this message

i looked it up later because I Had To Know and it turns out its pornography. the vault dweller can thoroughly inspect this book in their inventory and still have no idea what it is. amazing.

- other than recruiting ian, nothing too interesting happened in the shady sands/vault 15 portion of the game

horned kangaroos. sure

- got to junktown and stumbled into dogmeat mostly by accident, i was just passing by and SUDDENLY DOG. he’s beautiful and bites people a lot and i love him. here is a random picture just because

- ian keeps shooting dogmeat accidentally. ian youre fired

- every time i pick up something new i expect there to be a purpose to it (the first time i looted a lighter i was sure i’d need it for SOMETHING) but it seems to be the equivalent of picking up an ashtray in later games: useless and valueless. for instance

- i keep forgetting to put away my weapons before going into non-hostile towns and one of these days im just gonna make everyone mad at me probably

- tandi is lovely, she’s one of my favourite characters. i had to start the “save tandi from the khans” mission a couple times because the first time i did it i had enough speech to just get tandi and leave and like. i love the great khans in fnv so i didnt wanna kill them all but there were Noticeably Distressed People asking for help so i had to do it. and then tandi got killed. so eventually i just got the fighting out of the way first and lockpicked her out on my own

- then i got to the First Deathclaw. sup harold, who later becomes a tree

“gonna kill it”  what a good and accurate dialogue option.

- the deathclaw killed tycho twice and i reloaded until we all survived, idk why it kept going after tycho instead of me, apparently tycho looks more leaderly than i do rip. anyway that allowed me to get really close w/o much danger so i could just shoot it in the eyes it was fine

- i got the water chip back to the vault with plenty of time left over. unfortunately it seems i should have gone back to visit earlier for a couple more quests but alas, i missed them. i also have a quest in junktown thats bugged and i probably wont be able to finish it rip

excuse me that was a unique gun

(i ended up reloading anyway and got it back. i decided i didnt want to kill any of the feral ghouls in necropolis if it could be avoided and it turns out their perception is garbage, so it is indeed possible)

excuse me x2

the bodies around the glow. pff

- speaking of the glow, it was very stressful. i triggered almost every single trap, probably, and also didnt think of the fact that i could kill the robots while they were still deactivated until after id gone through a pretty nasty fight with a batch of them. it was mostly fine though, other than having to get dogmeat to stay put somewhere a couple times bc tycho kept shooting him with shotgun burst fire. tycho youre also fired and im taking the fancy shotgun back.

- also there was sooo much good but heavy loot in that place GOD i did not have the inventory space. my need to hoard everything and pawn off stuff to get The Most Caps Possible made it very difficult. might go back sometime if im allowed? i have enough rad-x for it, in any case (spoiler alert i was way too distracted and busy with everything else to try going back)

- joined the brotherhood, got power armour, am still overcapacity even with the strength stat boost. need to find some merchants with refreshed inventory.

- the brotherhood tech looks so fancy in this game. its so. clean? i guess part of that might be that it isnt as far away from the war yet and its a high end bunker but damn

- also got one of my fav fallout weapons ever the power fist!!!

ayyy! since my build is more for guns, i ended up giving it to ian and hes pretty incredible with it so it works out.

- finally made it down to the boneyard/adytum. everyone here is grumpy and sketchy. i spent a lot of time trying to talk to anyone i could and get information before making any quest commitments

including a fella who gave me a tarot reading!!!

- the adytum deathclaws were pretty damn easy to deal with, with power armour and a sniper rifle. pretty much just baited them from a distance so they wasted movement getting close while getting sniper crits lmao i have a ton of perks for higher crit chance/damage and it def helped

- GOT KATJA AND I LOVE HER. im always picking up her knives for her but im willing to do this for her because i love her. (once i got a chance to juggle inventory i gave her a ripper so i no longer had to pick up the throwing knives, i just get to watch her saw everything up with one knife in particular its great)

- anyway the radioactive goo around the gun runners base posed a much more lethal opponent than the deathclaws. all four of my companions took turns ignoring the BRIDGE OF SAFETY to just walk across the goo a couple times no matter how i moved or where i told dogmeat to sit for a bit. hell

i love this

- the followers of the apocalypse always have and always will be my favourite faction of fallout. i really enjoyed chatting with everyone there in between taking down the regulators. it seems they liked me enough to send me backup for taking on the cathedral, which is kind of them but proved to... cause complications. more on that later

- got back to the brotherhood bunker to do some inventory management and misc. quests because after enough faffing about i decided it was time to deal with the cathedral. i liked the idea of starting with the master and taking out the head so to speak before going to the military base to clean up afterwards. i got everyone as armoured and well equipped as i could and headed down

how do you do fellow kids!!

- talked to laura from the followers and she let me into the back room with the staircase, all while im being followed by like four followers invaders. i am so obviously Trouble, surrounded by followers of the apocalypse but i guess thats fine

- THE PROBLEM IS. THEY GET IN THE WAY. the staircase leads to areas with very little space to move around and i had to reload like 5 times for no reason other than the followers were in my way and i couldnt do a single damn thing. they also made it impossible to be stealthy, even when i could get around them because id have to circle around so much id get spotted easier. just a nightmare. in future playthroughs ill just avoid getting help from the followers i guess :(

- so because of all that i ended up going a route i didnt really want to: completely diplomatic. im a huge fan of diplomacy and resolving issues without violence in fallout games but this was actually a rare situation where i preferred to do a little shooting. sometimes you gotta. i wanted to go through the cathedral manually, loot a lot of corpses, and take on the master in combat, but the only way to get the job done without half my companions dying because the followers of the apocalypse where in the way was to convince morpheus to take me directly to the master and use speech/the sterility holodisk to talk the master down. sigh

- at least we got to shoot some stuff on the way out, but with the countdown to detonation going, i wasnt sure how much time id have to look around/loot so pretty much just went through running and gunning

rest in fuckin pieces

- decided to just get every single special stat implant that i hadnt already taken. we’re heading into the endgame now and i figured i might as well go all out. time to get us all into perfect order. this includes my poor puppy dogmeat who had had an injured leg since a fight in the hub before i went to the boneyard. my doctor skill was really bad and im not sure if theres any other way to heal a companions limbs, so after my post-cathedral level up, i put all my points into doctor just to help out my sweet baby boy

- military base time lads here we go

- i bullshit and lockpick my way in through the front door without having to fire a single shot. cool

- inside theres a lot of mutants and computers and forcefields. i sneak to a computer and change a whole bunch of settings, not really understanding what im actually doing, somehow this kills 3 of the mutants? i go over there and sneak kill the last in that area and poke around the other computers. some new force fields come on but theyre yellow instead of red. they still hurt. what is the meaning of this. i never really figured it out 

- i wasnt sure what else to do at this point and there was a red force field over the elevator door still so i say fuck it if this goes bad ill just reload and attack the room with like 10 mutants hanging about. it goes REALLY WELL until one of the brotherhood fires off a rocket

THANKS IT WAS COMPLETELY USELESS

- so i reloaded because i refuse to let this be a thing and i pickpocketed all the ammo off rocket man over here. try and slaughter half my team now, fool. 

- this definitely went much better:

im the stealth man 

- after this all thats left really is dealing with the lt., getting the access codes, and blowing this popsicle stand. unfortunately the lt. fight results in the death of my good pup boy dogmeat rip. i really wanted to reload and save him but honestly im not sure i could do much better than no casualties other than dogmeat. i very nearly lost katja and ian as well. in another playthrough, now that i know wtf im doing, i think i could do better, but with this playthrough i think saving 3/4 companions is pretty dang good

- here we go again with the countdown to detonation. on the way out of the elevator, one of the remaining brotherhood dudes got in my way just like the followers at the cathedral. i killed him and didnt feel too bad about it bc literally no other option but to reload and i just wanted Out Of There with what was left of my companions

- i took screenshots of the slideshow at the end but its a lot and all pretty standard, i think. other than the sad fate of necropolis (which im not sure how to avoid, if its even possible?), i think i got all the “good ending” stuff

- aaand back to vault 13

yo dog fuck u

i mean whatever, i didnt really want to go back to the vault anyway.

i know what the canon vault dweller does because i know who the player character in fallout 2 is already but my vault dweller is probably happy to go back to some of the places she visited on her journey and leave the vault behind. i imagine she revisited all the places she’d been to check in on everyone and then wander north (with..... katja........) and eventually settle down and blah blah spoilers for fallout 2 which i will be playing soon probably [thumbs up]