#and i hope you'll realise it's beyond upsetting to me

[skz-bee123]

You fall asleep on them

Stray Kids reaction

Word Count: 6.9K

This has not been edited so if there is any mistakes I'm sorryyy. Anyway I hope you enjoy reading this!

Bang Chan

Chan knew that no matter what you did you would always put 100 percent into it. You would always go above and beyond to prove to only to others but to yourself that you could, and would do it. You never gave up and always gave things a shot. Sure, sometimes things did throw you on the ground but you always, always got back up.

And that was a trait of you that Chan greatly admired.

Normally.

But there were those times that you pushed yourself beyond your limits. Running on only little to no sleep. If you consumed food at all, it was take out and even then most of it would be life to go cold, forgotten as you were too busy doing something.

You were always doing something.

Now don't get him wrong, Chan knew that he could be just as bad at taking care of himself but he knew that despite how hard you were working yourself, you always had time for Chan. To remind him that he needed to take a break, take some time for himself, to clear his mind out.

Yet, Chan never seemed to be able to do the same for you. You kept things to yourself, insisting that you didn't need someone watching over you.

Chan did not want to push you, the last thing he would ever want to do is make you upset but it was the boys saying something to him that he realised that maybe he did need to step in.

"Hyung?"

Chan looks up from where he's sitting on the couch, taking his headphones off with his laptop on his lap. "Yeah?"

The other members of Stray Kids had come over to yours and Chan's place. The plan was to have a movie night and the kids would stay over. The thing was, you still weren't home. And the boys insisted that no movie would be played until you got home.

"Do you know when noona will be back?" Felix asks.

Chan's eyebrows furrow, "what's the time?"

"It's 9:32." Minho holds up his phone with the time for everyone to see.

"I-I'm not sure, she should've already been home by now." Chan says. "I'll try calling her."

Your phone goes straight to voicemail and Chan sighs before shooting you a quick message.

Channie

Hey love, the boys are here waiting for you. It's movie night, remember? Just checking to see when you'll be home.

Love you and be safe.

"She didn't answer but I texted her, she should be here soon though." Chan says as he looks at his members. "Alright what is it?"

"Noona always takes care of us right?" Hyunjin says. "I mean, she always makes sure we're taking a break, that we're eating, and sleeping well."

Chan smiles at that, "yeah she does. She talks about the whole lot of you all the time. She really loves you all."

"We get that and we love her too. I mean don't even get me started on how many times we've all called her eomma, heck, even Minho's done it once." Jisung says which gets a laugh out of everyone and a glare from Minho. "But..."

Jisung didn't need to carry on for Chan to know what he's saying.

"I know, I worry too."

Before anyone can say anything else, the sound of the front door opening catches all of their attention. They hear you sigh before the sound of your dropping your shoes on the ground before they see you walk into the dining room when you put your bag on the table, grabbing the edge of a chair.

You're completely drenched.

You still don't seem to notice that they are all watching you and Chan goes to say something before a choked sound escapes you making him freeze, it makes them all freeze.

They all watch as you start to sob, falling to the ground holding yourself.

"Noona..." Jisung's voice rings out.

The sound makes you whip your head up and you freeze before frantically wiping the tears off your face.

"Oh my gosh, I completely forgot that it was movie night tonight. I'm so sorry, I'll go get changed then we can watch the movie." You say, trying to stand up but end up tripping over yourself. But before you could even hit the ground again, Chan was there, pulling you into his chest.

You try your best but you just end up breaking down. No longer able to hold it together anymore. Chan, holding you tightly, speaks to you quietly enough that the boys can't make out what he says before he lifts you to your feet where he leads you to your bedroom, shutting the door behind you both.

The boys don't speak as they wait and it isn't long until Chan comes back out.

"She's alright, just had a very bad day, it was just too much for her." Chan says.

"Do you, or well, does noona need us to leave? We can do movie night another night." Jeongin asks.

"No, no. She doesn't want you all to leave. I think she'd be more upset if you did." Chan answers.

"Has she eaten?" Minho speaks.

Chan shakes his head, "no, I'll go make her some food now."

Minho stands up, "it's alright hyung, I'll sort out some food. Just go be with her."

Chan hesitates, "are you sure?"

"Yeah." Minho nods, "besides, I'm sure this lot is also hungry again."

"I mean, I could eat again." Changbin raises his hand.

"Of course you can," Minho rolls his eyes, a smile on his face before turning back to Chan. "Go."

It's 30 minutes later that you finally emerge with Chan from your bedroom. You're wrapped up in some sweats and a hoodie that it way too big for you, obviously being Chan's. You look much calmer now, but your eyes show just how tired you really were.

"Noona! Come sit with us?" Felix asks as he points to the spot between him and Jisung. The boys seem to have placed a bunch of blankets around the place and have your favourite movies set up.

You look towards Chan who only gives you a smile and small nod. You walk towards the boys and sit down between them. Felix and Jisung wrapping their arms around you instantly.

You watch as Chan walks into the kitchen, soon coming out with food, followed by Minho who was carrying more food. They lay the food on the table, dishing it out for everyone. Chan hands a bowl of food to Jisung and Felix before grabbing one for you, pressing a kiss to your forehead before he sits down on a different couch with Minho.

Everyone starts digging in and you catch Minho watching you out of the corner of your eyes. He doesn't touch his food until you've eaten a couple mouthfuls before digging into his own. It bring a small smile to your face.

After the food is done and bowls have been put away the first movie is put on. You lay your head on Jisung's shoulder as Felix snuggles into your side. You get comfortable then make eye contact with Chan who was looking at you with a smile on his face.

'I love you', you mouth towards him.

'I love you more.'

The next time Chan looks over at you, you're sound asleep, Jisung and Felix too. Chan look s around the room and sees Changbin and Jeongin snuggled together sound asleep, seungmin and Hyunjin still invested in the movie.

"She's gonna be alright." Minho's words catch Chan's attention and he looks at him with a confused gaze.

"With us, I mean. We'll look after her. She's family too." Minho gesture towards you.

"I know." Chan reaches over and pulls Minho into his side, squeezing him tight. Despite the complaints coming from his mouth, Minho doesn't pull away.

Chan smiles to himself as he looks at his family around the room before his gaze rests on you.

Yeah, he thinks to himself.

Everything will be alright.

Lee Minho

It had been a couple days since you had last seen Minho, he had been busy in the studio. Learning new choreography and all that comes with being an idol, left him with little to no time to see you.

Minho had texted you a few hours before, he was supposed to come over to yours but was stuck at the studio, saying that since it'll be late once he's finished he'll just head back to the dorms.

It left you a bit worried and you decided to go over to the studio. Picking up some food along the way.

You quietly open the door, just in case Minho was practising, you didn't want to disturb him. But to your surprise, he was sitting against the wall with a towel over his face, breathing heavily.

You shut the door which catches Minho's attention but he doesn't take the towel off his face.

"Go away." Minho says.

You raise your eyebrows in amusement, obviously the boys have been in, annoying Minho and he thought you were one of the boys.

"Rude, I was bringing you some food too." You say, a smile on your face.

Minho takes the towel off his face and looks at you with surprise.

"Y/n?" Minho says.

You nod your head, "mhm, it's me and I've brought you some food. You sure you want me to go away?"

Minho just rolls his eyes at you before he stands up walking over to you where he gently grabs your waist and places a kiss on your forehead.

Minho, with his hands still on your waist, leads you over to where his stuff is and you both sit down.

You take out the food you brought and dish some out for both you and Minho.

"What are you doing here though? You should be at home." Minho asks after you've both started eating.

"Yeah, but you texted me saying you were gonna be here for the night, so I thought I'd just come and bring you some food. Possibly stay for a bit is that's okay with you?"

Minho smiles and nods his head before picking up his chopsticks and holding them out to you, "eat, you're still in your work clothes, it's obvious you came straight here from work. I'm sure you're hungry and tired as well."

Seeing you not moving, Minho nudges you. "Eat." He says, still holding the chopsticks up to you where you finally open your mouth and let him feed you.

"How was your day?" You ask sometime later after you've both finished eating and you're putting away the rubbish.

Minho just shrugs his shoulders as he watches you walk over to the bin where you chuck away the rubbish. "You?"

"It was tiring but I got quite a lot of things done that I wanted to, so I'm happy with how today went." You reply as you walk back over to Minho where you sit down next to him and lay your head on his shoulder.

"That's good," Minho grabs your hand, playing with your fingers as he speaks. "I'm happy that you're happy with how today went."

"Do you wanna talk to me about what you're working on at the moment?"

Minho starts to tell you about the new dances he was preparing for, not only for the comeback with the boys but also a personal dance too.

You try your hardest to listen to him, you really do. Everything Minho does, especially when it comes to dance, always captivates you entirely. He puts his heart and soul into what he does, it's one of the reasons you fell more and more in love with everyday that passed.

But try as you may, the comfort of your boyfriend's shoulder, the comfort of his hands playing with your fingers, the comfort of Minho's voice as he told you about all the things he was working on was just so warm and made you feel so cosy, so soft, so tired.

It isn't until Minho feels dead weight on his shoulder that he stops talking and looks down at you. You were fast asleep, a little smile on your face.

Minho reaches over to grab his hoodie that was laying on the ground and drags it over you as a makeshift blanket. He notices a bit of your hair has fallen onto your face and softly pushes it behind your ear, trying his best not to wake you.

He knows he needs to get back to practising but at this very moment, your rest, your happiness was much more important to him than dance. Because yeah, Minho loved dance, he wouldn't be who he was right now if it wasn't for dance. But Minho had been slowly coming to the realisation that perhaps he loved you even more. And as scary as that was, maybe, just maybe, that wasn't such a bad thing.

You snuggle in closer to Minho in your sleep and it brings a smile out on Minho's face.

Yeah, that wasn't a bad thing at all.

Seo Changbin

You and 3RACHA had been in the studio for the past couple of hours. It had started off with only you and Changbin, with Changbin working on music and you working on stuff of your own.

It was silent between the two of you but that silence was welcomed. It didn't matter that there was no conversation happening between the two of you because you were together, you were in the comfort of each other's presence.

"Hey babe?"

You look up from your work as Changbin calls for you, "yeah?"

"You mind if Chan hyung and Jisung stop by for a bit? I got a few things I wanna rub through with them."

A smile forms on your face, "of course I don't mind."

Changbin wheels his chair over to you, giving you a kiss before wheeling back and picking up his phone.

You carry on doing your work, getting so focused that you don't hear the door opening, nor do you head Chan and Jisung come into the room.

But hands grabbing your shoulders and someone whispering 'boo', into your ear makes your jump and scream slightly.

You see Jisung back away slowly with his hands up, all three boys chuckling at you. Turning towards Changbin you whack him softly.

"What? Why'd you hit me? Jisung scared you, not me." Changbin whines.

"Yeah but I bet it was your idea and besides, you know I can't stay mad at Jisung."

Changbin catches a proud grin of Jisung's face before turning back towards you with a pout. "But baby."

"Nah ah, you're getting no sympathy from me."

Changbin huffs and you giggle, placing a quick kiss on his cheek.

You exchange greetings with the boys before moving to the couch to give them more room to work. The chatter of the boys as they worked was a comforting background noise for you and it didn't take you love before you were finished with your work and just sat there and watched them as they did their thing.

Their way of working was harmonious. They just worked so well together and it was something that you greatly admired about 3RACHA.

Changbin eventually turns around in his seat and notices you watching them, he smiles at you before standing up and making his way over.

"You alright baby? Get your work done?" Changbin says as he sits down next to you, after which you place your head on his shoulder.

"Yeah, once I got into it I flew through it pretty quickly."

"Of course you did."

"What about you? How are things going?"

Grabbing your hand and intertwining your fingers together, Changbin answers, "pretty good actually, the track is coming along just how we want it to."

"That's not surprising though."

"No?"

"No, it's not, come on, you guys always come up with the most out of world music like it's nothing."

"We are pretty good." Changbin says, looking smug.

You just shake your head at him with a smile on your face. "Well, I was thinking..." you say turning your body so that your back is against Changbin's chest as he pulls you in tighter against him.

"Yeah?" Changbin hums.

"You have a day off this weekend right? Saturday?"

"I do."

"We should have a movie day, or like a self care day? I can order some food and we can just, I don't know, relax together?" You ask, playing with Changbin's fingers.

You feel a kiss being placed on your forehead before Changbin answers, "sounds absolutely amazing babe."

"Yeah?"

"Mhm, I honestly think that it's something that both of us deserve."

"That's true, we have been working pretty hard lately, we deserve a break."

"That we do my love." Changbin agrees with you.

The two of you converse quietly for a little while longer until your words become nonexistent. Jisung turns around in his seat after hearing your talking grow silent. it was weird, but having the two of you softly talking in the background while he worked was oddly comforting. So, not hearing your voices, he turns around to see what was up, smiling when he notices why.

"Oi, hyung." Jisung nudges Chan who takes off his headphone and turns to Jisung.

"Yeah?"

"Look." Jisung points.

Chan follows where Jisung is pointing and sees you and Changbin sound asleep on the couch, cuddled up together.

"Ahh, so that's why they stopped talking." Chan says, voicing Jisung's exact thoughts.

Jisung stands up and grabs the blanket on the side of the couch, the ones that's always kept there for the late nights the boys pull, the ones for when they inevitably fall asleep in the studio.

"Cute, aren't they?" Jisung says as he tucks the blanket over the two of you, turning around to see Chan smiling at them.

"They are, well I guess we should let them rest, we'll wake them up when we're done."

"Sounds good to me."

Hwang Hyunjin

The kids had been looking for the both of you for a little over 10 minutes now. Neither of you were answering your phones and they were starting to panic. The boys had all been sitting in the room together, you had gone off to find a bathroom but did not return back, Hyunjin went off to find you. But after 10 minutes neither of you had come back and they were panicking. 

“Maybe they just got lost?” Jisung questions. 

“Maybe, but then why aren’t they answering their phones?” Chan panics. 

“We’ll wait here for another 10 minutes, if they still don’t return we’ll go look for them okay?” One of the Skz staff members reassures the boys. 

They all nod their head as they wait, watching the clock for those 10 minutes to pass. And when those 10 minutes pass and there is no sign of either of you, they really start to freak. 

“Something could have happened, we should've gone looking for them as soon as they didn't come back.” Chan paces back and forth. 

“Hyung sit down,” Changbin grabs Chan, “there’s no point stressing out, the staff will find them okay?” 

It’s not even 5 minutes later when a staff member walks back into the room and the boys jump to their feet. 

“What happened? Did you find them? Are they okay? Where are they?” The boys ask question after question. 

“We did find them and they are all right.” A fond smile makes its way to the staff’s face and he gestures for the boys to follow him. 

They all follow him until the staff member stops in front of a door. “We passed by a few stylists who had asked Y/n to grab something for them in the door that was by the bathrooms.” He gestures to the bathroom which was right next door. “The only thing is, the door locks from the outside, so when she went in, she got stuck.” 

“And Hyunjin?” Seungmin asks. 

“Well we’re assuming that when Y/n didn’t return, when Hyunjin went to look for her he must've heard her, went inside the room the door shut behind them and they both were stuck.” 

Chan shakes his head as he reaches over to grab the door and pushes it open. The door opened to reveal you and Hyunjin snuggled up on the floor, both sound asleep. 

“So that’s why they weren’t answering our calls.” Minho says. 

“Scared the absolute daylights out of me and this is why.” Chan smiles fondly as he looks down at the two of you before he walks into the room to wake you both up. 

“Hyung? You found us?” Hyunjin wipes his eyes sleepily. 

“After you both send us on a wild goose chase, yes, yes we did.” Chan says. 

“We?” 

You and Hyunjin look to see the rest of Stray Kids as well as a few staff members standing there and you both blush. 

“Sorry, this was all my fault.” You say. 

“No, it’s alright,” Chan says, holding a hand out for you to grab as he helps you stand back up on your feet. “It will be a pretty funny story to tell so we’ll forgive you, besides we didn’t freak out THAT much.” 

“That isn’t true, you were the one who was freaking out the most.” Seungmin says. 

“No I wasn’t.” Chan defends himself. 

The rest of Stray Kids all start to argue and you and Hyunjin look at each other before bursting out with laughter.

Han Jisung

It was well past 2am and you both were still awake. Maybe it was the cold, or perhaps something else that was keeping you awake. But there was something different about being with someone, with existing with them, breathing with them, at 2 in the morning.

It was these moments that Jisung appreciated the most. Sure, it's always absolutely amazing going out and doing things with you but he loved these quiet moments when you both just had each other.

There's no one bothering him about things he needed to get finished, no dance practice, no music, no thinking.

Jisung loves what he does but sometimes he likes to switch off too and he can't argue that his members are a huge help, they've been with him through his hardest times but it was different with you.

He hadn't realised how much he craved it, how much he would miss it, until he met you.

You just came into his life in full force. If left him confused, scared, but in the end you completed him. You completed him in ways no one else could.

After a long day, it was late at night when Jisung really got to enjoy you all to himself, no distractions, just the two of you. And yes, he did have an early start tomorrow, would spend the day running on 3 hours of sleep but god were you worth it.

"Ji?"

Jisung hums softly, letting you know that he could hear you and was listening.

"How was your day?"

"My day? It was fine, I was in the studio with Channie hyung and Changbin hyung for most of it. But how was yours? Tell me all about it, yeah?"

You go into detail about your day, knowing Jisung wanted to hear every little bit that happened.

Jisung listens to every word you speak because to him, they were all important. Your entire being was so important and Jisung sometimes feels bad that he can't be there for you as much as he'd like.

So he uses these moments, he stores them away. Every little detail has a little pocket inside his brain that he stores away for when the time comes to use them again. A new restaurant here you mentioned once, or a co-worker you mentioned you didn't like. Every word you say means something to him.

"And what else baby?" Jisung pulls you in closer, gently guiding your head to his chest.

His undivided attention is always on you. Every time you open your mouth, Jisung is there to listen. He wants you to know that he cares, he cares so much for you that sometimes it seems untrue.

But his feelings for you could never be more genuine.

"Baby?" You snuggle in closer to him.

You're his person.

You will forever be his person if you'd let him.

The one he turns to when he's getting overwhelmed with life.

The one who knows what he's feeling without him ever needing to say a word.

You get him.

"Sleepy?" Jisung whispers. He feels you nod your hear against his chest. You were still telling him about your day but your words were starting to slur and it was honestly the most adorable thing Jisung had ever seen.

To be fair, everything you do Jisung thinks is cute.

Jisung can no longer hear you voice, instead all he hears is your breathing. Placing a kiss on your forehead, Jisung wraps the blankets around the two of you tighter, before closing his own eyes.

He loved you so much more than he's ever loved anything else. And Jisung hopes that you will never forget that.

Lee Felix

“Movie night!” You say as you jump onto the couch next to Felix. 

Felix laughs as he wraps his arm around your waist. 

“I’ve been looking forward to this since we started to plan it.” You say as you lay your head on his shoulder. 

“Me too love, I’ve very much been waiting for this day.” Felix replies back. 

You and Felix had both been very busy that past few weeks so one night while you both were laying in bed you discussed spending some time together. 

You both made sure that you would have tonight to just spend with each other, no distractions, no work, no nothing, just the two of you. 

You had decided on doing a movie night, earlier on today you had gone out to get some snacks for the two of you to eat and had everything set up so that when Felix returned home, all he had to do was shower and get changed into some comfortable clothing. 

Which is exactly where the both of you were right now. 

“So, should I start the first movie?” You reach forward as Felix nods his head to start the first movie. You both had previously picked out some movies you wanted to watch so that it would make things easier for you now. You had the movies lined up that you wanted to watch and all you had to do was play them. 

After the first movie is finished you both decide to get some food, deciding on ordering some takeout. You start the second movie as you wait for the food to arrive and when it does Felix hops up as you pause the movie. 

“I’ll grab it love.”

You smile at Felix and nod your head, waiting for him to return with the food and when he does you wiggle slightly in your seat with excitement causing Felix to laugh. 

“You’re so cute, baby.” Felix says as he dumps the food on the table in front of you both. 

“Says you, the cutest thing to ever exist.” 

“Thing? So I’m a ‘thing’ now?” 

You roll your eyes with a smile on your face, “oh you know what I mean.” 

“No, I don’t think I do.” 

You look over at him with a raised brow before turning towards the food. But before you could grab anything, Felix grabs your wrist. 

“Ignoring me now huh?” 

You still don’t look towards him, biting down on your lip to stop from smiling. You feel Felix’s fingers wander down to your waist and your head snaps towards him. 

“Don’t you dare-” your words are cut off by Felix tickling you, knocking you on your back as he hovers over you. 

You’re overcome with giggles as you try to fight Felix off you. 

“Lixie!” You plead. 

“What was that? I couldn’t hear you.” Felix says with a smirk on his face. 

“Stop! Please!” You say between giggles. 

“Hmm, I guess I’ve punished you enough.” Felix says as he stops what he’s doing before leaning down to place a kiss on your lips. You wrap your arms around his neck and once you’ve broken free from your kiss, he pulls you back up so that you’re sitting. 

“Let me get you your food.” Felix breaks away from you as he reaches into the bags of food in front of you both. “I’m sure you’re hungry.” 

“I am very hungry.” 

“I know, I can hear your stomach.” Felik pokes at your stomach causing you to squeal before handing you your food. 

“Thanks Lixie.” 

“No worries at all babe. Now let's eat and watch our movie.” 

About 2 movies later, Felix looks over to find you asleep on his shoulder. You’ve got a bowl of popcorn on your lap and some hanging in your hair. 

A fond smile makes its way to his face as he looks down at you, picking the popcorn out of your hair and grabbing the bowl off your lap, placing it on the table. 

God he was so in love with you that it hurt sometimes, but he wouldn’t ever replace this feeling with anything in this entire world. 

Kim Seungmin

Seungmin had said he would be home at about 8, you told him that you would wait up for him.

It's now just before 10 and he's still not home. You had texted him and was slightly worried. The logical part of you just assumed that practice went later than expected and he was held back, not able to go on his phone. The other part of you worried that something had happened to him.

It was not long after 10 that you received a call, expecting it to be Seungmin you rushed to your phone, only to see that it wasn't Seungmin calling you but Jeongin

"Jeongin? What's up?" You ask as you answer the phone.

"Y/n, I um...I'm sorry if I woke you."

"No, you're fine. I was up waiting for Seungmin. He said he would be home around 8 and it's 10 so I'm assuming that practice went late?"

"I..I don't. Seungmin he.."

"Jeongin? What happened? Are you alright?"

"Yeah, no yeah I'm alright, it's just that..."

You could hear Jeongin's voice start to break and you can tell that he's on the verge of tears.

"Hey, why don't you give the phone to one of your hyungs, yeah? Are they there with you?"

"Yeah."

"Alright let me speak with one of them okay?"

The line goes quiet before a new voice speaks.

"Y/n..."

"Jisung? What happened?"

"It's Seungmin."

You feel your heart drop into your stomach. "What happened Ji?"

"He..I don't know what happened, it all happened so fast. But he just, I don't know, he just collapsed at practice. He had such a high fever so we just rushed him into the hospital. We haven't heard much, but we know he's still not awake."

"Where are you?"

Jisung tells you the hospital they were at and you quickly say goodbye before hanging up. You don't even throw on a jacket, just grab your shoes, your wallet and keys then leave the house.

Following behind a manager who had come to collect you, you walked down a corridor were you spotted the rest of Stray Kids and ran over to them.

"What happened?" You ask panicking as you look around at the members.

“We were practising and Seugmin just collapsed, so we rushed him straight to the hospital. All we’ve heard so far was that he was severely dehydrated.” Chan explains. 

You bring a hand up to your face as you feel tears well in your eyes, you feel a hand on your shoulder before you’re pulled into someone's arms. You look up to see Jeongin and notice that he’s also got tears in his eyes. 

“It’s okay,” you whisper to him as you wipe his tears away. “He’ll be alright.” 

“I don’t know, I just-I feel like I should have noticed it you know?” Jeongin squeezes his eyes shut. 

“No, we are not doing this.” 

“Doing what?” 

“The blame game, none of this is anyone's fault you hear me? Seungmin would hate to hear you blame yourself like this, okay?” 

Jeongin nods his head and tries to smile, giving up half way when he realises it was too difficult. 

“Has anyone eaten?” You look around at the boys and watch as they all shake their heads. 

“Okay, I’m gonna…I’ll go and get you all some food alright?” You say. 

“No, it’s okay Y/n, you don’t have to.” Chan shakes his head. 

“Really it’s fine, you all need to eat.” 

“But-” 

“Please Chan,” you close your eyes and take a shaky breath before continuing, “let me do this okay?” 

Chan grasps your hand and softly nods his head, “okay.” 

While you’re out getting food for the boys you receive a text message from Chan who explained that he doctor had been there to see them and gave you a bit of an update on Seungmin. Basically he had been neglecting his own needs and overworked himself, explaining why he had fainted. The doctors wished to keep Seungmin overnight but said that it was nothing serious, he just needed some fluids and a good rest. 

“Okay, so I got a bunch of things, I probably went a bit overboard but I’m sure you all will eat it anyway.” You say as you walk into the room the boys were in with Seungmin, holding bags of food. 

Minho and Changbin rush over to you and take the bags from you, you smile at them before your eyes catch Seungmin’s. 

You watch as the boys all dig into their food before walking over to Seungmin’s bedside. 

“Before you say anything,” Seungmin says, grabbing your hand, “I’m alright.” 

You bite your lip as you stare down at him, Seungmin reaches up and with his finger pulls your lip out from your teeth. “Y/n?” 

“Yeah?” You grasp his hand tighter. 

“Lay with me?” 

You don’t say anything but instead lay with Seungmin on his hospital bed, sure it wasn’t the most comfortable thing in the world but it was what you both needed at that very moment so neither of you really cared. 

You feel Seungmin’s hands playing with your hair and you grip onto him tighter with your hands, it felt as if you let go, Seungmin would disappear from you and you weren’t going to let that happen, not yet. 

It isn’t until Seungmin feels your grip go lack that he looks down at you and sees you sound asleep on his chest. Seungmin places a kiss on your forehead before leaning his head on yours. 

“Hyung?” Seungmin calls out, getting the attention of everyone in the room, even Jeongin who wasn’t Seungmin’s hyung. 

“Yeah?” Chan is the one to speak. 

“I know you all have to leave soon.” Seungmin says. 

“Yeah we do,” Chan nods his head. 

“But we’ll be back first thing tomorrow.” Jeongin exclaims. 

“Yeah I’m sure you will be, but I just want you all to do something for me yeah?” Seungmin asks. 

“Of course Seung, anything.” Chan leans forward in his seat, encouraging Seungmin to speak. 

“Her,” Seungmin gestures down to you with his head. “Take her home with you please, don’t let her go back to her place. She can stay in my room but I don’t want her to be alone for the night. I can’t imagine receiving that call when I was in the hospital. It must not have been easy for her.” 

“Of course Seung, we’ll take care of her, but you should worry more about yourself at this moment, okay? Getting better yourself.” Chan says. 

Seungmin shakes his head, looks down at you. “I could tell you that I would but that would be a lie. My priority will always be her. She does so much for me and it always feels like I never have any time for her and I hate it. Don’t get me wrong I love being an idol, I love you all and I love Stay but sometimes I think about the days when we’re older and it’s just the two of us that’s left, no more work, no more anything, just us.” 

“I’m going to marry her.” Seungmin looks up at the rest, “this is just the beginning for the both of us.” 

“I don’t think any of us has ever doubted that.” Jeongin gently nudges Seungmin from where he was sitting beside him. 

Chan stands up and gestures to the mess from the dinner, “well we should clean this up and head on home to get some rest, I have a feeling we’ll be back bright and early so some rest for all of us will do some good.” 

The kids all start to pack up as Seungmin gets to waking you up and enough everyone has left the room and you’re standing by the door. 

“I love you.” You say. 

“I love you too.” 

You blow a kiss to Seungmin who reaches out to grab it, pulling it towards his heart where he lays his hand. 

“We’ll be back before you know it, as soon as we’re allowed back in, I’m going to be waiting right outside this door.” You say, a determined look on your face. 

Seungmin smiles at you as you blow him one more kiss before disappearing behind the door, “I know you will.” 

Yang Jeongin

Jeongin tried to be as quiet as possible, shutting the door behind him with care and slipping his shoes off silently. Tiptoeing into the hall, he frowns when he hears the tv playing, he’d hoped you would be asleep by now, not waiting up for him. 

Dumping his stuff on the kitchen table, Jeongin walks into the lounge. Jeongin pauses in his steps when he sees you, a sleepy smile makes its way onto his face as he rounds the couch. Sitting on the ground by the couch, Jeongin reaches forward and brushes a few strands of hair out of your face before leaning forward and placing a soft kiss on your forehead. 

You’d obviously fallen asleep with the tv on, a blanket wrapped tight around you and there were snacks on the table in front of the couch. He could tell, from the look of things, that you had not meant to fall asleep and that makes Jeongin smile even more. God were you adorable. 

Standing up, Jeongin turns around and turns the tv off, looking back at you once again before picking up the leftover snacks and taking them into the kitchen. Once he’s disposed of the snacks, Jeongin heads into the bathroom where he gets himself ready for bed. Showering off the day's work away, doing his skincare before getting changed into some sweats and an old tshirt. 

Jeongin walks back out into the kitchen where he opens up the fridge, food from the dinner you had cooked in there and he takes them out, heating them up. He tries to be as quiet as possible as he sits down at the table to eat, not wanting to wake you up just yet. 

As he scrolls through his phone, Jeongin eats the food you made and it isn’t long until he’s eaten it all and he’s washing away his dirty dishes. 

Once he’s finished there, Jeongin then walks back into the lounge and over to you, who still sleeping. Bending down so that he’s level with you, Jeongin very gently rubs his hand along your cheek. 

“Baby,” he whispers a few times, watching as your eyes slowly flutter open. 

“Jeongin?” You sleepily ask while rubbing your eyes. 

“Yeah babe, it’s me,” Jeongin smiles as he helps you sit up. 

“What time is it?” 

“A little after 11.”

“Oh, I was watching a movie, didn’t realise I would fall asleep.” 

“It’s alright babe, let’s head to bed now yeah?” Jeongin holds his hand out. 

“Wait, have you eaten yet?”

“Yeah, I ate and showered, let you sleep so that when I woke you up we could go to bed together.” 

You smile up at him as you grab his hand and he pulls you up. Following behind Jeongin as he leads you into your bedroom, you flop onto your bed under the covers as soon as you reach the room. 

“Sleepy baby?” Jeongin laughs quietly as he watches you snuggle under the covers, only your head peeking out. 

“Mhm, ‘m sleepy.” You mumble out, your eyes falling shut. 

Jeongin climbs on to the other side of the bed and pulls you into him, laying your head on his chest as your legs tangled together under the sheets. 

“Did you have a good day?” Your voice is muffled but he understands what you’re trying to say. 

“Yeah baby, I did, did you?” Jeongin traces invisible lines on your back and he feels you nod your head against his chest. “That’s good.” 

It’s not too long after that Jeongin feels you relax completely against him, no longer conscious of the world around you and it makes him pull you in tighter as he plants a kiss on your head. “I love you.” He whispers before closing his eyes himself, letting sleep overtake him. 

[orions-tears]

The Cure - Sebastian Sallow [Part 2]

Pairing: Sebastian Sallow x Fem!Reader

Themes: Injury, I mentioned blood once but he's fine

A/N: Kinda goin crazy with the concept but hey I like it. Also this is completely unedited and I wrote it on two different days with the flu so if something is weird af lemme know

Part 1 is linked :)

Sebastian is shuffling behind you as you make you way into the basement of Isadora's house. He's weirdly quiet. As you cast Lumos, you look back at him. His hands are in his pockets and he's looking around the room aimlessly. You frown but turn back around. There's got to be something in this room that give an idea on how to save Anne. You rummage around in the rubble for a while, not finding anything important and sigh, sitting on the floor. Sebastian walks over and kneels next to you, putting a hand on your shoulder. 

"It's alright, (Y/N)..."

You shake your head and look at him, a few tears running down your face. You're frustrated. You know you can save her. You push away from him and stand, walking back to where you saw the gateway the last time you visited the ruin. It's still there but...it's...different? You squint and look close, holding your wand near the barrier. You turn to Sebastian and see him sitting on the floor, looking at his hands. You can do this. You close your eyes tightly, gripping your wand. Wherever this leads might be dangerous and you don't want to drag him towards that. He'll be upset with you for leaving him, but if you can keep them both safe, it's worth it. You take a breath and touch your hand to the wall.

When you turn around, you feel a sea breeze on your face. Where are you? You step forward and look around. The sun is shining and the waves are crashing against the cliffs. You run out to the edge of the cliff you're on and look around. This place feels familiar. There's a bridge to your right and you walk towards it. The spiral... It hovers above the bridge, almost beckoning you. You walk onto the middle of the bridge and reach up to the spiral.

***

"(Y/N)! Please!" Sebastian yells, shaking you.

He heard you collapse and had run over, kneeling next to you. He's been shaking you for a few minutes now, trying to wake you up. He grabs you and apparates outside of the North gate of Hogwarts. He picks you up, carrying you up to the hospital wing. After laying you on a bed, Nurse Blainey shoos him out despite his pleas. He leans against the wall and slides down onto the floor, putting his head in his hands. Why...? Why? Why?! He groans and tugs at his hair.

"Sebastian?" says a soft voice.

He looks up to see Ominis standing over him. "Hello, Ominis..."

Ominis reaches out to the wall and sits down next to him. "Are you alright? Is (Y/N) alright? Imelda told me you were carrying her through the castle."

Sebastian sighs and groans again. "She fainted. I think...but she won't wake up. Something's wrong, I know something's wrong"

Ominis frowns and puts his hand on Sebastian's shoulder. "She'll be alright, I'm sure. She's strong."

***

A wave of magic radiates from the spiral as you touch it. You turn away quickly, holding your arm over your face to protect yourself. You look down at your hands and see small sparks rolling over your palms. You feel a pull beyond the bridge and run towards it, not knowing what you'll find. You hear yelling and run faster, reaching for your wand, but...it's not there? You shake your head and keep running. As you get closer to the sound you realise it's Sebastian. You reach the end of the path and lower yourself down onto a plateau and you see him. Sebastian is laying on the ground, not moving. You run over and kneel next to him, placing a hand on his arm. Blood is running from the top of his head and he seems to be unconscious.

You think for a moment and look at your hands. The sparks must have meant something, right? You place your hands on the top of his head and close your eyes. You don't exactly know what you're doing, but you can hope you don't kill him. You feel your palms warm and a pressure grows in your head. When it becomes unbearable, you pull away and open your eyes. You look down at him and...the blood is gone! You feel his head lightly and there's no obvious wound like before. You healed him... No wand. No incantation. You suddenly grow tired and lay down next to him, closing your eyes. The next time you wake up, you've moved again.

***

You sit up, rubbing your head and look around. The hospital wing. Nurse Blainey sees you awake and quickly walks over, checking to make sure you're alright. When you're cleared you run out, looking for Sebastian. You run to the Slytherin common room, but no one's seen him. You try the library and still, nothing. You find Ominis in the dark arts tower and run over.

"Ominis!"

He turns around and smiles, recognising your voice. "(Y/N)! How wonderful to see you awake."

You furrow your brows and stop in front of him. "What do you mean? How long was I asleep?"

He rubs the back of his neck. "A week, I believe?"

"A week?! Well...where's Sebastian? Is he alright?"

He's silent for a moment and folds his arms. "How do you know about that?"

You shakes your head and grab him by the sleeve. "Is he alright?"

He nods. "He's in Feldcroft with Anne. She was worried when he got hurt but when I found him he seemed just fine."

You thank him, hugging him tightly and run outside, hopping on your broom and flying to Feldcroft. You were asleep the whole time? But...he was hurt...and you did heal heal him? None of it is making sense, but honestly, when does it? When you land in Feldcroft you run into the Sallow cottage and find the twins sitting at the table.

"Sebastian!"

He looks up to you and grins. Jumping up he runs to you and hugs your tightly, running a hand through your hair. "My love, you're alright. Anne wouldn't let me leave I've been so worried about you."

You hug him back and then pull away, touching his head where the injury had been. "How are you? Is your head alright?"

He frowns and rubs his head. "How did you know? Did Ominis tell you? Honestly, I'm not sure what happened. When I woke up, I felt fine."

You shake your head. "I think...it was me."

He puts his hands on his hips and laughs. "Darling, your love does sustain me, but I'm not so sure it was that."

You shake your head again and sigh. "I mean it. I saw you lying on the ground and I healed you. With...with the ancient magic."

He stares at your for a second and scoffs in disbelief. "Explain."

You tell him about the spiral and the way you healed him. If you can heal him like that, then maybe, just maybe, you can heal Anne too. Sebastian expresses his worry about your physical response to the use of the power. If it took that much from you to heal a simple head injury, what would it take to heal the curse on Anne?

Tag List!

Let me know if you want to be added or removed! Also say if you want a specific fic or all

@zoleea-exultant @justwaww @blueberrydinosaur @kuukimeioo @sometimesidreamthaticanlevatate @thenerdysimp @lonadane @tubble-wubble

[fallout4-reacts]

if you dont mind doing reacts based off other posts, how would companions react to a low int but max luck sole?

hoping links work in asks 😭

I sincerely believe that as long as I don't plagiarise another author's work, there should be no problem. However, if I have a writer who is upset because I've been asked the same request, I hope we can clarify it Unfortunately, it appears that there is an issue with the link, but I believe that it's better that way so I can react without being influenced by what has previously been done

So there! How companions react to a very stupid yet extremely fortunate Sole (It makes me think of Gontran from Picsou). I write them a little clumsy to add effect, hope you'll like it  PS : Yeah, I know, I have forget Cait... but it's fix

Cait : She wasn't really paying attention as Tommy wooed the stranger on her behalf. As long as she has her psycho, she doesn't give a hoot about anything else. Now, Sole and Cait were prowling an ancient factory in search of salvageable equipment and materials. They had hardly gotten a few steps ahead when they heard someone else's feet approaching.

Cait reached for her weapon and signalled for Sole to keep silent. They peered over the bend and saw a band of raiders coming at them with weapons blazing.

“Methinks we have some guests," Cait whispered. "We must find a way to flee with haste."

After agreeing, Sole turned to run, but their foot became hooked on a stray part.

A loose piece of metal grabbed Sole's foot as they turned to run, and they lurched forward, toppling a pile of crates with a loud crash.

As soon as the raiders noticed them, they opened fire, sending bullets flying past their heads. While Sole and Cait were running through the factory, dodging gunfire and looking for an exit, a stray bullet hit a gas tank, causing a massive explosion that sent debris flying in every direction.

Miraculously, neither Sole nor Cait were hurt as they were tossed to the ground. However, the factory was completely destroyed, and all of the raiders were wiped out in the explosion.

"I cannae believe it," Cait exclaimed. " Ye almost killed us, but we made it oot alive."

Sole smiled awkwardly. "I already told you. I seem to attract unusual luck."

Cait shook her head, but a grin spread across her face anyhow. She remarked, "Well, I dinnae ken how ya do it. Verily, I am relieved to have ya by ma side.”

Codsworth : From day one, when Nate activated him, he could see the extent of the damage… and somehow understand why they made his purchase in the first place. On that first day, he was able to count thirteen accidents. From something as stupid as stepping on the carpet to failing to set the house on fire for a cup of coffee, Sole is a walking disaster. That’s why Codsworth goes way beyond being Butler to make sure Sole doesn’t touch anything in the house. Since the bombs, the poor robot has been having anxiety attacks. How could someone barely able to survive in a relatively safe world do so in an extremely dangerous one? But ironically, it does. Like when Sturge asked Sole to install a suitable water line for Sanctuary and the city wall collapsed in the river, sparing the purifier. Since then, they have a clean pool free of any radiation, to the delight of all who can go wading and unclog a little at the end of the day without risking becoming a ghoul. Sturges has learned a lesson, and Sole is forbidden to touch anything that could be crucial for the colony since. Anyway, it’s not like the poor bastard can distinguish a battery from a switch.

Curie : Before she realised there was a living being on the other side of the door, the said door literally collapsed on itself. Curie never left the chamber where she had been kept for so long. She doesn't need to be asked to accompany Sole inside the vault. Unfortunately, one of the molerats carrying the infection bit Sole. To be honest, they fell on the corpse and stuck the teeth in their buttocks, even though the man in Sole's company had taken care to exterminate them all to ensure Sole was not worried. However, Sole refuses the treatment. Instead, they want that Curie cures a child. Curie is concerned about the virus's repercussions. But, once again, she has no idea what God Luck the Klutz must pray for, but the virus does not appear to be suitable for development in Sole's system. They will have to deal with some repercussions, but Curie has seen influenza cause more harm.

Danse : As he was about to give up after seeing the ferals rush waves after waves, he heard a voice behind him.

"Don't be afraid! I'm here to assist—oops!"

And Danse sees all of the security fences around the police station collapsing one after the other. How is that even possible? He has no idea. These barriers are built to withstand violent attacks. They are now sure they are dominoes. As panic gripped the Brotherhood, he realised that, by an incredible chance, the barriers had collapsed on the ghouls, flattening them like pancakes. When the last one has passed, the soldier turns to face the newcomer and a companion who appears to be in exasperation.

"Good…work…I guess. You have just spared us from terrible death." "Good job?" Rhys, the knight, becomes irritated. "That jerk almost got us all killed in less than a few seconds!"

"Keep calm," Haylen said as she shaved him on the train. "In the end, we are saved."

The paladin looks at his officers, then at the newcomer, who is attempting to untangle a chewing gum caught under his sole. When he loses his balance, the man beside him advances almost instinctively to receive him, almost as if he had the strength of habit.

"So, uh... listen, I have a mission for you if you're interested."

The man in the Minutemen's hat looks up, surprised, and drops his friend to make large hand movements, but it's too late. Sole, sitting on their hindquarters, nods their head.

"With great pleasure!"

Deacon : To put it simply, he hasn't laughed this hard in... ever. He was having problems laughing despite his attempts to drown his misery in humor, and he now goes to bed every night with a stomach ache so severe as he bends in half all day. He has seen them evolve in the world from the day they left the vault and has only one regret: not having popcorn. He has no idea how the individual made it this far. First, the Concord raiders: Sole fell down a well when the hatch that concealed it crumbled beneath their feet, unleashing a deathclaw in all his rage. While Sole ran like crazy up the street to avoid the huge beast's claws, the monster literally shredded all of the raiders present. When the deathclaw followed Sole into the museum, they collapsed the platforms on which the raiders were standing... raiders that the deathclaw has now shred in pieces. Finally, as Sole climbed four to four floors to escape their pursuers, the monster slipped and fell two floors on his head and died. Deacon almost roasted himself at the time, an intense chuckle escaping him despite himself. The adventure did not come to an end there. A completely taken aback Minuteman also arrived at the scene, but instead of making him laugh, it seemed to make him believe in the possibility of fate. So he began by worshipping Sole... for a few moments. Everything went to hell when Sole opened their mouths. This person isn't simply clumsy; they're plain dumb. But Preston appears to have a good heart in the face of bad luck; he takes Sole under his wing, and their adventures that begin then give Deacon so much pleasure that he is eager to go and tell everything at HQ.

Dogmeat : Dogmeat is delighted with his new master. But they can be strange at times. His new master seemed to disregard everything that people normally know. Instead of bang bang bang, they threw their weapon at a molerat. Dogmeat is unfazed; he shreds the molerats. Then there are the men-who-kill. Sole appears to believe that they can be their friend and greets them enthusiastically. When the men-who-kill turn towards them by raising their weapons, Dogmeat grabs Sole by the bottom of their trousers to make them get back. The metal plate on which they stand then falls beneath their feet, revealing a furious deathclaw. When the monster chases Sole and Dogmeat, they run belly-dn ahead. Sole does not accompany Dogmeat forks into a place where he knows they will be safe. They kept running straight forward, as if they could outrun a deathclaw. Dogmeat lets out a whine and dashes behind the deathclaw. It has been stated that Dogmeat was a bright dog, but the canine never imagined that he would one day be more intelligent than a person.

Elder Maxson : Danse stands behind the new recruit, completely uneasy. The Elder addresses him first.

"I'm having difficulty comprehending your report. You appear to be saying that Sole is the element that helped your missions work in your benefit, but you also appear to have some concerns. Why beg for their promotion and support them while expressing uncertainty?"

"I recommend that you make up your own mind."

The Elder then turns to the recruit and begins his lengthy speech. Sole maintains a straight posture and attentive listening throughout. Maxson is animated and takes his time explaining himself. When he has finished his long speech, he turns to Sole, waiting for their decision.

"So... I can get a Power Armor?"

Arthur is shocked. He frowns and glances at Danse, who appears to be trying to hold back a grin.

"Indeed, yes. But, more importantly, do you understand what is being asked of you?"

"Oh, to put on your uniform and go about doing your errands. When will I receive my armor?"

"Our… errands?"

"Yes. Go there, Sole, and bring that back. I'm not upset. But I'm looking for my armor."

Maxson's eyes widen in astonishment He again catches Danse's eyes, and he is certain now that the paladin keeps his cool not to chuckle. He instructs Sole to await them on the bridge.

"What's the backstory?"

"This... this recruit is a very interesting element. He fulfils all our requests. But to be honest, it's a miracle more than anything else."

"Do they... do they appear uh... capable of thinking?"

"I have my doubts. The Minutemen who accompanied them were equally sceptical. Furthermore, I do not recommend accompanying them on a mission or entrusting them with anyone. But they do the job... in their own way."

Arthur pauses for a moment before sighing.

"I must admit that the hopelessness of our situation compels me to grant your request. As a result, as you suggested, I raise them to Knight. I have a first task for both of you."

"Us two, sir?"

"You brought them to me; now you will manage them."

Danse lets out a sigh. That was his greatest fear. But, hey, Sole isn't a bad guy. He's only had concerns after nearly being roasted alive in Arcjet.

Hancock : "Wow! Insurance! You're such a kind man!"

The mayor of Goodneighbor looks at the newcomers with a snigger. Finn is defrauding them. Then he encounters the irritated, perhaps tired, look of Diamond City detective Nick Valentine. He doesn't want his drifter to play games with someone he likes, so he approaches Finn and instructs him to comply.

"Nick Valentine makes a rare visit to town, and you’re hassling his friend here with that extortion crap?"

"No problem here," the newcomer hurriedly stated. "This gentleman was just selling me insurance."

Nick seems to open his mouth in protest, but Hancock take it in hand.

"You’re soft, Hancock. If you continue to allow strangers walk all over us, there will be a new mayor."

"Come on, man. This is me we’re talking about. Let me tell you something."

Sole seemed to be aware that something is about to occur. They approach towards the mayor, opening their mouth to speak, but their foot become caught in a slab on the ground.

"Oops!"

However, they cling to the dagger that Finn hid to cut Sole's throat at the first move, and the little scoundrel turns impaled on his own blade. Hancock, for his part, didn't have time to pull his own, which he had hidden behind his back, ready to impale Finn as well. He seems perplexed, Sole apologising repeatedly to Finn's body, which is now stiff on the ground.

"I'm very sorry, man. I didn't want to murder him... Mr. Ghoul, are you listening? I didn't want to murder your citizens. Please do not hurt me."

Nick shakes his head in disbelief, and the mayor cracks a faint smile.

"It's not the sharpest pencil in the box, is it?" He then explains "This guy was going to cut your throat. You had an amazing chance."

"Wait, no, I think you're wrong; he just wanted to sell me insurance."

Nick raises his hand as Hancock prepares to explain again in simple terms.

"Lost time, pal. Take this buddy as they come. I don't think they've realised I'm a synth yet."

"I'm not that stupid!" Sole objected. "But I know you don't make music. So, if you want to pretend to be something you're not, go ahead; but stop wanting—

"Synthetic! Not synthesizer!"

Hancock busts out laughing, and someone else behind his back does as well. He recognises Deacon's voice, but as he looks about among the street drifters, he doesn't see the Railroad agent.

Gage : Weeks of effort. It took weeks of miracles to get the stiff hands on a common project. The entire Gauntlet has now collapsed. Gage sighs and shakes his head. This new player is not playing. They are, nonetheless, intriguing. They will now have to handle Colter at the arena's door. Porter uses his intercom to confront the newcomer.

"Who's the one talking?"

"Porter, please answer the intercom. Approach, we’ll talk."

"Porter? That's... God's new name?"

Gage pauses, frowning. But dammit, he's met the stupidest guy he's ever encountered, and yet he evolves above the raiders.

"It's the intercom! It's on the wall! Near the lockers."

"Ah! Eheh. Yeah. I see. So, what do you desire?"

"If you play it right, we'll work together."

Porter then has a second thought. He can't possibly appeal to this person's brains. He shrugs his shoulders and decides to improvise.

"Look, you're going to find a water gun in a locker...hello?"

"Oops! Sorry. I was... looking around..."

"Huh? Power to the Arena's down by 30%. You do that? Not bad. You're still gonna need the gun, but... that oughta help."

Sole finally found the water gun after numerous clues. Porter began to question if his strategy was really that good...

MacCready : Hancock ushers a newcomer into the VIP room. Poor timing. Those idiots Winlock and Barnes have tracked him down and are attempting to intimidate him. It's going to get ugly fast...

"Wow, this is a true family reunion! Wow, you've got a lot of guns!"

MacCready was still astonished after Hancock struck his forehead. Giggles escaped the gunners. Mac rushes to return them to their home.

"Are you the mercenary I can employ?" It's Hancock, he stated I need God's help and don't know who I can afford to stay alive."

Mac casts a glance at the mayor, who shrugs and walks out of the room, unable to keep back his laughter.

"Yeah, I do offer my rifle services to those who can afford them."

"Oh, yes, caps!"

The new person slings a bag over their shoulder, but in a clumsy action, all of the contents and the container fall to the ground. They see something under the table as they bend down to pick up their mess.

They reach out their hand and pull out a plasma grenade. MacCready rushes to take the toy from their grasp as they prepare to engage it accidently.

"Obviously, you're going to need all the help you can get to survive, but if you really want to pay for my services, it'll be...500 caps."

Sole takes out a purse containing their belongings.

"There must be at least five or six hundred. It's difficult to count that many. Okay, maybe ten or twenty capsules. But more than a hundred? You're insane; I don't have all day."

Perplexed, the mercenary scratches the back of his head and sighs. He didn't expect the new would accept such a high price, so he's not going to start recounting behind them. There are clearly several hundred caps by weight.

"Well, you've just paid for Robert Joseph MacCready's services!" he attempts cheerfully.

"Great!" exclaims the other. "I'm Sole. That's how they refer to me."

Nick Valentine : After only a few minutes, he begins to question if it might not be preferable to remain trapped in the vault. Dyno died literally laughing. He fell over the railing and into the atrium at the bottom after seeing the other get entangled in wires while attempting to draw their rifle. Nick has been waiting impatiently for the other to figure out how the terminal works since then.

"Listen, uh... detective, I'll be right back."

Nick hears the other one come down the stairs, then return after a long time. Dyno appears to have had a piece of paper with the password in his pocket, and Sole can finally open the cage, which is not gilded at all.

"Ah, my knight-in-shining-armor. But the question is, why does he come all this way, risk life and limb, for an old private eye?"

"Who! Is that a robot? I'm sorry, Mr. Robot, but I'm searching for a detective. Did you happen to see him?"

"I believe I'm the detective you're looking for."

"No, I mean a private investigator. I was told he went to look into Malone's side of the vault and that we haven't heard from him since."

"I am the private detective."

"Nick Valentine! That's his given name. Nick Valentine, I recall."

"I AM NICK VALENTINE."

"Okay. Is this some sort of a game? You've been programmed to deceive others? What happened to Nick Valentine?"

Nick takes a deep breath.

"I’m a synthetic man. I’m a synthetic detective."

"You’re a synthesiser? So, you're a musician? Wow. When the detective’s going to figure it out... But I don't have time to listen to music; I need to save the detective."

"Lord…"

Piper : "Play along!"

"Are you playing a game? Great!"

Piper casts a sidelong peek at the new one, but she's not going to pass up this opportunity. She eventually persuaded Danny to open it up to her with a lot of luck. However, the person in blue almost blew it. She rushes into Diamond City as soon as the gate opens, and the new follows her, but she will worry about them later, as MacDonough awaits her around the corner.

"Piper! Who you let you back inside? I told Sullivan to keep that gate shut!"

"Hey!" interrupts the newcomer right away. "How could Quincy's surplus have been sold to...crazy Mirna... if you had left this gate closed?"

«It was a lie to go home," Piper says as she passes past.

"Do you mean I'm not a Quincy trader? Oh, how I would have liked that."

The mayor, by some miracle, appears to believe that the newcomer is important and ends up leaving them alone, tail between their legs, after the other voices two or three well-placed remarks. Piper is impressed, because in fact, they appear to have only two cells, one to keep them from peeing everywhere and the other to...

"So, Blue, do you want to tell me a little bit about your backstory?"

"Blue? Why do you call me Blue?"

"The vaultsuit."

"Oh, yes, it's true that it's blue."

Piper lets out a sigh. She hasn't even left the inn yet.

"Please join me at the Publick Occurency (if you can find it) and we can talk. Okay?"

The new one says, "Agreed." Piper rushes away, wondering who she has just met, when she catches the smile of a guard she does not remember.

Preston : Oh my fucking goodness! Preston isn't the sort to curse, but as half the museum collapses on the gunners and deathclaw, the notion flashes through his mind as vividly as if he'd said it aloud. He, on the other hand, cannot believe their good fortune. It's amazing! To accomplish such a feat, this individual must be a genius. But as he watches them emerge from the rubble, he begins to wonder if...

"Wow, that's impressive. But a couple of shots could have done the same thing without... destroying everything."

The blue person simply steps over the balcony and approaches Preston.

"Hello there! What exactly are you doing here? Isn't this a really depressing place to be?"

Preston looks at the refugees before returning his gaze to the vaultie.

"The raiders threatened us, so we took refuge here. But now that we've done that, we must decide what to do next. Sturges?"

Preston notices that Sturges is entirely frozen in place, detailing the new one as if it appeared out of nowhere.

"They did... they destroyed the museum!"

"Yes, Sturges. I was present. But, at the very least, the city has been cleaned up. We can proceed safely."

"Safe? With…that?!"

"That's referred to as Sole. Pleased. You are?"

"The survivors of Quincy."

"And we'd like to be able to survive," Sturges continued. "There will be no more williboumbatpouf! Okay?"

So, the survivors of Quincy and Sole set out for the location seen by Mama Murphy: Sanctuary Hill. When they arrive in one piece, Preston has the brilliant idea of inviting Sole to assist Sturges in establishing them. And that results in a lot… a lot of problems. 

Strong : Strong doesn’t see the problem. Strong finds the puny humans very lucky. Other humans seem to think the puny human is stupid. Strong think the puny humans is very smart.

X6-88 : He cannot conceive of this individual being able to conceive Father. Probably the other parent was a genius outside of their field, and Father got the best of both worlds. There is literally no other option. And their chance! Surely, wherever they go, this extraordinary chance rescues them from the direst situations.

"Wow, X6! I stumbled onto a honey storage tank. It's incredible!"

X6 heaves a murmur of exasperation as he leans over the edge of the rusted tank, whose metal has yielded under Sole's weight. It is indeed honey that has been partially solidified but is still viable.

Truly an incredible chance.

[musepirations]

sorry for yet another cryptic rant on main but there is something that has been bugging me for over a week now and it keeps being brought to my attention over and over again so i just... have to air out some dirty laundry for a second. 

we had to make the hard decision to close our group a week and a half ago. fair enough, every group comes to an end even though it is hard after a group has run for so many months. and you have tried so hard as admins, for so many months ( especially during the global pandemic which affected everyone ), to create a safe space and a room for distraction. we have tried so hard to keep the group active and the members involved and enthusiastic and excited. we reached out, asked for opinions and suggestions with the sole purpose of making the group better and for keeping the group thriving. even though not everyone always took kindly to that, especially when it came to activity and asking to do a bit of self-reflection on the half a dozen roles some had and virtually no time to roleplay them. but we tried to make it work, always. we offered tools to enhance plotting with everyone when it was pointed out that plotting ( or lack thereof ) was the issue. very few made use of it. out of twenty members only a good handful reacted to plotting calls or replied to starters, which always included the three admins. i think everyone would agree that such a thing is disappointing to see, to say the least - to receive complaints about ‘ i have no plots ‘ but seeing very little effort made to actually plot. you have to realise there is only so much an admin can DO FOR YOU. we offered tools. we have written numerous messages to point out the importance of plotting and interacting with everyone. we have pressed on inclusiveness over and over again. but we cannot do the plotting for you. don’t blame us for it then. it isn’t fair. don’t tell us you cannot talk to us ‘ because we are admins ‘. numerous people from our group did come to us afterwards to appreciate how approachable we were as admins. don’t tell us you cannot talk to us and it is pointless talking to us because ( quoted ! ) ‘ WE CANT TALK TO YOU ALL BECAUSE YOU LITERALLY DONT GIVE A FUCK ‘. as admins who tried so hard to keep the group running and who have always valued our members’ opinions and only ever did or said anything to make sure our group was the best it could be, that everyone felt included and the group wouldn’t die... it hurts a whole lot to be told that. especially in a one way conversation where you were only talking about yourself and were not hearing anything else that was said or asked. to be insulted and talked to in a very passive aggressive and accusing manner two weeks in a row, causing me and the other admins so much stress because we did care so deeply, was the final straw. especially since the root of the problem was a clique everyone was aware of ( mind you ) - a clique you were all part of. and then to blame the admins for ‘ bubble roleplaying ‘ while the admins were the only people making an effort to plot with everyone who posted plotting or starter calls, and the admins got almost no replies to their own plotting calls or starters... that was very rich. there is a difference between purposely favoring and only writing with certain muns ( bubble roleplaying ) and roleplaying with certain muns more frequently because no one else is doing your replies / wanting to plot with you. do not throw that in my face when you were the one sitting on my reply, you were the one to not react to my plotting calls or replied to my starters and i was the one who always sent the last message in a conversation because you never replied again. don’t manipulate me and guilt trip me into believing i was still the problem ( which you knew would get to me, because it is who i am - you know i care deeply and you abused that to make me feel bad about myself ). maybe there is equal blame. i will be the first person to admit that i am far from perfect. but then there is still EQUAL blame. not just you pointing a finger at me. don’t guilt trip me by bringing up a mistake i made in the past and profoundly apologised for to the person i wronged back then and actually talked it through with them - it was none of your business to begin with. my friendship with them was strained, i admit, and i am not too proud to take blame for that at all. not at all. but you made me lose a friend i loved dearly with your meddling. i still do not know what the cause was of everything you said and the drama you started ( maybe you all just wanted a way out of our group, so you could start your own with all of our members but us admins ; because just leaving when everything was so shit apparently, was too easy, right ? an opinion not a lot of members did seem to share with you, by the way ) - all i know is that it caused a group to close and the members who did still love it were punished. and you and your friends, who were at the roots of a lot of tension even though you refuse to see your own blame in anything, did not say a word. not a thank you for all the months. not even a goodbye to the other members if you care so very little for us admins to acknowledge what we did do right. nothing. radio silence.

BUT HERE COMES THE GOOD STUFF ! y’all started your own group ! and fair enough, it had been in the works for a long time, by one of you. fair enough, you asked your closest friends from our group ( your clique, ey ) to help out admin. fair enough, fair enough, fair enough. but to post only one thing in our groupchat an hour after we announced closing, and it being a double promo to your own group which DROPPED the same night we closed and you asked A SHOUTOUT FOR  from me ( which i gave you, because after all i still wish you all the best, i do - even though i do not agree with a lot of things you did and do ) the morning after we closed our group... that feels very disrespectful to me. and that isn’t all, is it ? because your group only consists of OUR MEMBERS ! members who i know ( from numerous sources ) you have all messaged privately to ask them to join your group. you even asked one of my co-admins. you asked everyone but me and my other co-admin. you just take our members, plop them back down into your own group to continue where you left off with them, right ? but you exclude me and my co-admin. all of you ignore me on discord since then. you ignore me on instagram, when i compliment a picture of yours because i still care about you. and in the meantime, you are just luring all of our members into your new group. do you have any idea how EXTREMELY UPSETTING that is ? to know you are deliberately being left out of something ? even by people you considered your friends ? i don’t care that you created a new group, all four of you - we made a new group as well which we are super proud of and excited for. you do you, always. and i wish you the best with it. but when you go around messaging all of our members - members you probably did not have anything to do with when our group was still running because they weren’t your best friends - to have them join your group so you can pick up where we left off... but you are excluding me ? that hurts me deeply. because no one likes to be left out. and no ones likes to feel like trash and feel uncared for. no one likes to feel that the blame is all on them after trying so hard to do good for everyone. which was always the goal in our group. it hurts, and i hope you know it. and i hope you’re not proud of it. i wish all of you and your group the best. i just wish it wasn’t build on the months of work we put into our group to make it a solid family. only to cast us out like we are dirt. after treating us like dirt, some of you at least. shame on you. 

[loversdelusions]

How would yandere Deku(different versions like pro hero, villain, villain waifu, vigilante and stuff) react to the reader saying that she’s never been to a dance or a prom before and she’s love to go for one? She just never had the chance like me *sigh* Unfortunately I can only day dream about proms and stuff like that since my school doesn’t organize things like that L

Me too dear anon. We both may daydream of beautiful green-haired freckled bastards twirling us in his arms.

Pro Hero Deku would watch your reaction. If you were upset about this, he'd definitely be more gentle, but it really depends on you. He doesn't really get it, but he'd try to be understanding, really. If you were upset, he'd ask you to go out, maybe go dancing, to substitute the aura of a prom. Especially if you were dying to wear a big prom dress, there is so much you could do to compensate because being a pro hero has its quirks.

He'd take you to parties in ballrooms and gowns and fuck you really needed to help him dress because he's not used to being formal, and his fashion sense is.... questionable (at best).

So really, don't worry about it. Parties with dresses and friends and music are all something you'll get to live through it all, but now with alcohol.

Villain Deku is the person I see doing the most, you hear the sentence, 'the villains would burn the world for you.' ? Yeah, that's the epitome of what he was. As long as he's truly fallen for you. Because Villain Izuku cares. A lot.

So he might not have hero friends that he feels okay inviting (I doubt Bakugou would rush to the scene), but he would definitely take you to a dilapidated, abandoned building and push the speakers to work, allowing the songs to echo from the walls. He'd stress you to wear a ballgown as extravagant as possible and would die to have your first dance.

He'd pull you in to dance, and he'd give you that goofy smile, and ask you softly if this is what you hoped for if a dance with your soulmate in a ballroom alone -so that no matter what, both of you will only see each other- was truly what you'd imagined.

"Izuku, you know I'll only see you anyways," Your smile was flirtatious, and he would lean in to kiss you. You couldn't tear the grin off his face if you'd wanted, because the more you proved to him he could trust you, the more he fell in love with you, the more maniacal his smile becomes, the more extravagant his actions for you become and the more he unhinged he became, because he knew you'd never leave, because you loved him! And he loved you!

So dance, laugh and enjoy your time because any words of love that comes from you are amplified in his brain. It's amplified beyond comparison. You won't even realise how deep into obsession he's become until someone burns for looking at you funny.

that moment isn't just for you, oh it means the world to him.

Yandere Deku knows you haven't had a prom, please he knows every little thing, you cannot hide anything from him. So be sure he noted your lack of socializing. Though I don't believe he'd do much about it. He's much too concerned about you adjusting well to your new life. If you'd insisted, mentioning it offhandedly or something, he'll cave and take you to one of the parties full of heroes, warning you though to be fucking careful with what you say.

Don't try anything in terms of escape, because while he will drag you across the room to accompany him while he socializes, and he'll definitely introduce you as his fianceé, he'll even joke about you wanting to run away as some sort of inside joke. So believe it that no one will believe you except one man, who will have almost zero chance of appearing anyway. It's almost like Deku orchestrated it to be this way.

Either way, Kacchan isn't here, and you aren't getting away.

Try something, and you'll never be able to see the sun again- He'll be sure of that. If you're good, you'll be able to go out more often, but you'll definitely be rewarded when you get home.

Villain Waifu Deku is different because he's more excited to have fun with you, and all of his friends rather than make you happy with him. He wants to have an explosive type of goddamn party fun. So unstable there is a chance three of you will be found outside blacked out to shit. It's not about ballrooms and dances but it's about speakers that burst the walls and getting high and drunk with your friends.

Ummm so he might say some weird shit, you won't understand, maybe you'll be confused because he's calling missing people dead, or some weird things you've never thought he'd even now. You didn't think he was so involved still with hero business. You knew he still enjoyed looking through hero news, but you'd never really thought he kept such a close eye on the news.

The next day it'll be tough to clean up, the house and the bullshit that spilt from his lips last night, though he's paranoid and grown sloppy from the lack of consequence, he's only in luck that no one fucking noticed. I guess people being drunk kinda saves you from your own drunk high truth serum phase.

It's always a relief when luck is on his side. Though he still had fun with you though. Taking you to dance with him, laughing and kissing and touching like you did when you were younger, really made him fall for you even harder. How could he forget how amazing you were? Perhaps you'd been too tired lately, now that you'd been resting, now that you were laughing, and having fun, he wanted to cry in happiness.

He wanted you to be happy because he was.

A party is a party, drinking is just drinking, But your fucking laugh? It made him crumble to his knees.

[thisdreamplace]

I had a nasty fight with my former bff. This was long ago. She did the whole 'boycotting me' thing at school and afterwards had a mutual friend pass her msg to me, saying "tell her [me] to get it into her skull that she's not the center of the world, who does she think she is? Stop acting like a #" Im simplifying the words, her actual words were nastier

I got thinking today abt this fight, and her comment abt me that is still way too fresh in my mind even tho I hadn't recalled it in 2-3 yrs!, and I actually decided to use the law to revise my friendship to feel better as what happened after the fight was shameful on my part. But before I knew it, I started rmmbring my relationship with her. How I became a total victim. Got so stuck on her validation, begged her to be friends with me (after I got the degrading msg. 🤕 silly me w/o a backbone lol) and stayed her 'bestie' for way too long. Only after it's all over im noticing smth messed up abt out 'feiendship'. It wasnf that normal I think. She would get so pissed if I did anything that went against her thoughts/beliefs/way (which is why she called me a selfish # that major fight). It was so subtle the way she showed her disapproval. To her, if I did anything not aligned with her, or even makih decisions on my own which didn't involve her, it was wrong. And had consequences like her beinf distant for days etc, or getting angry if I didn't mind read her bla bla, I just had to keep her at the top 24/7 and she expected everyone else to do the same... which I thought was normal... It wasnt. And what would be even more crazy is she never realized how that meant she always wanted the attention. That she always wanted it her way! It just makes me feel... Sad.... When I look back. How couldn't I have notived it before? I used to be strong headed, opinionated before I became 'besties' with her.. That all has changed. I wonder why -_-

It may be dumb on my part but with the weak mind and insecurity I had then, I took that fight/her reaction to the heart and internalisef this stupidiy (DENY MYSELF if the other alternative was denying HER. I didn't think it was wrong. For the oldme, it really wasn't wrong smh). Aaah I'm so sorry old me :(

This fight started bcoz she asked me for smth and I refused, instead of relenting like I always would, and I see now that her reaction (to me not being an obedient # to her ig?🤢) was basically her setting rules. It was wrong of me to refuse, yes, but why did she react that way? Why did this pattern continue? That everyone was selfish if they didn't think of her ;_; like how do u deal with this? And the icing is when I too started to defend her and make excuses for her all the time. And ik I'm making her out to be so strong, don't worry... I accept the strong only rule when the weak submit. And I was weak as hell, so its understandable this whole thing. I think 😅

Idk. I seen your posts abt eyipo with other anons so i hope u can tell me figure out what this was. Its clear to me she was projecting smth about me, and mb throughout our whole friendship she was projecting me. And I would think it was her hurting me, that she was right and I was wrong or maybe I did smth wrong. Mb I thought I deserved being punished that way?!

Today I suddenly had an aha moment and I realised... this is how a victim thinks. I didn't know I was a victim when I was living that stoey aka thought I was powerless. When in fact I really wasn't?! Haha still accepting I 555% created ALL that. The law can knock you out haha

Enough old story I just want to ask, what du u think the msg she sent to me was? Did I really deserve such a reaction (did I mention she included other girls in the boycot? 🤢) just for standing up for myself? What about the whole 'fight' aka showcase of power? And the entire yrs of being friends why did I never realize I was only hurting myself so much by putting her before me? And also, with the everyone pushed out thing, how did it fit in? Like why the hell did I give her too much power in validating me by giving in after the fight in the first place?, and while I did have some fun times (saying this so anyone else who reads this doesn't think it was pure torture lol. We had some common interests tyat no one else in the class shared when we first became 'friends'), deep down I was so unhappy so why didn't this reflect on her? I mean why didn't she ever sense just how much she'd hurt me, why didn't she see how much I put on the back burner coz of her?! Was it as she saw it as her right? I'm just so confused

This is still a bitter pill to swallow tbh but I have to face this in order to move on. This person and my life with her has left me wit many scars and I got to understand how I did this so I never attract such a person in my life again. Its not even abt bejnf a victim. As I said, these victimy things were subtle and I only noted them when it was too late and I was a shell, like she getting super pissed and disapproving if I had a differing opinion and me blowijg it out of proportion and tailoring my views or not expressing them so as to not feel the disapproval...thanks boycott conditioning ig? 😭 Aaaah even talking agaunst her rn is making me uncomfortable. Which makes me think I still am scared of her subconsciously even tho she's no longer in my life. Like, what in me made me choose her? I haven't healed, obviously by this ask as u can tell, but idk what is it in my self concept that had this whole thing in my past even happen

My friend, I also want to say I think you're a beautiful soul 🥺. And im sorry for the long ask lol. And I pray you'll always have all your desires. And plz, was it hard for u at first when u learned about u creating everything? The good, the bad, and the repulsive (like this story)? How did u get over old stories? Ty ty ty 😭

To begin with you're being really harsh on yourself. Like, I know it's hard, but it's never that serious. And trust me, this is something I have to remind myself of regularly. Because there have definitely been moments in life where I look back on myself in that moment, and I feel like I was pathetic and would slap myself if I could. But the truth is, there's just no need for any of that. We always did the best we could. We always did, period. We couldn't have done anything differently and this will continue to be true our entire lives. Looking back on the past with such overwhelming feelings, is really not needed. I get looking back to learn from it, but practice coming from a place of love and acceptance instead. It will help you grow, rather than get stuck back in this cycle of self-hate and confusion. Plus, you actually never need to analyze the past to grow but that's beyond the point right now.

To me, by reading your ask, the message she sent to you was clear. You feel you deserve less in life, you feel you're not good enough, you feel like a victim to life and others, you feel like you're not empowered or the operant power of your reality. It's not about her being wrong and you being right, and I get this is one of the hardest pills to swallow. Everyone is you pushed out. Therefore, there's simply no such thing as who is right and who is wrong anymore. It was only ever you.

When it comes to everyone is you pushed out, you have to understand this person isn't this way because that's who they are. They were that way because that's who you were. Inside of you, you brought their character to life. Therefore, the same way you are not stuck to such an undesirable self concept, neither is that person. It's not that you chose her and attracted her in. You were just dealing with yourself. That's what I hope you walk away from this response understanding. Because by thinking she was outside of you, you're missing the mark. And this is such an important concept to understand when it comes to the law of assumption, because it's really at the forefront of everything. People play such a huge role in our lives, whether it's relationships, jobs, opportunities, etc etc. So understanding how everyone is you pushed out actually works is extremely important.

So instead of putting all this blame on her or even putting the blame on yourself, all these memories really do is give you a glimpse into who you were at the time. It shows you the beliefs you held about yourself. It shows you what your self concept was. That's all it's doing. So in that way, there's actually no one to blame at all. I know it feels good to put blame, even when it's on yourself, but the truth is there's no room for blame when you learn about the law. You simply take responsibility and become empowered by the power you have held this entire time. And you practice making it work in your favor.

If you want to see how something was apart of your self concept, all you have to do is pay attention to what you are thinking/feeling. Shame, not being good enough, etc etc is all just stories you once held onto. Now you don't have to hold onto those stories anymore. Now that you know the power you hold, you get to make a new decision for yourself. Rather than ruminating of the painful past, allow it to be and know how that's not your story anymore.

Was it difficult for me to accept how I created everything? Yes and no. It's been a journey. While I could accept it logically, emotionally it was still very painful. Many times I wanted to cry and lash out when I felt alone and felt upset that no one was there for me. Although, I knew deep down it appeared that way because of my own concept of self. So yeah, it's been a journey. And it's honestly not always delightful. But this is the journey we have to take for the rest of our lives, so we might as well get used to practicing and applying these concepts. Instead of continuing to hold ourselves in such painful lights. I got through old stories, and I continue to get through old stories, by feeling all the pain that came up. By allowing myself to cry and feel however I felt like during those times. And in the back of my mind I knew I was getting stronger in my power. I knew how I would keep persisting once the pain subsided. And little by little, old stories fade more and more. That persistence to continue choosing better for yourself, is truly more powerful than it may seem in a difficult moment. Have trust in how it's all working out for you regardless.

Hopefully this is helpful! Thank you for your kind words. 💖

[leotssukinaga]

Friendship Bracelet

Makoto Yuuki x Reader

A/N: I literally dont know where this fic came from, it just popped into my head a few hours ago and now its here. Disclaimer that I don’t know Yuuki that well as a character so I’m not entirely sure how well I wrote him. This ends so cheesy but its cute so I stand by my choices Summary: Makoto and you have been best friends for years, even when you couldn’t see each other often your friendship held firm. There’s just one issue... Makoto doesn’t know if it’ll survive the romantic feelings he’s developed for you. Tags: Fluff, teeny tiny bit of angst, cheesy as hell, childhood friends to lovers Word Count: 1.7k

Makoto wasn't sure whether to smile or frown as he stared at the bracelet adorning his wrist, fiddling with it with his other hand. It was a little worn, though you could hardly see where he'd had to mend it when he caught it on that fence last year and it snapped, but even after 4 years of wearing it constantly the colours were as bright as the day you'd given it to him, the green heart embedded in the blue standing out as much as ever. It had been on his mind a lot recently- or rather, what you'd said when you gave it to him had.

-

You hopped up to him at lunch time, a sad sort of smile on your face. He knew why. You were graduating middle school in two days, and you weren't going to the same high school. You'd admitted to him a few weeks before that you were scared to face the world without him, that you didn't want him to stop being your friend just because you didn't see each other every day. He'd been a little too embarrassed to admit that he felt the exact same way. "Hey, I made you something. It's a little silly but... I want you to wear it all the time, okay? So that even when you're old and you can't remember your own name, you'll have a reminder that once upon a time, in middle school, we were best friends." He grinned as you showed him the blue friendship bracelet. He didn't even know you knew how to make them, but he admired your handiwork and held his wrist out for you to tie it on. It was only when you'd done so that he was the green heart you'd sewn onto it. "Not just in middle school," he reassured you, "just because we're going to different high schools doesn't mean I'll forget about you."

-

He'd been right, too. The two of you were in your third year now, and your friendship was as firm as ever. Of course, the different high schools situation had changed once Yumenosaki had opened up the producer course and you'd transferred (something you hadn't told him until you surprised him on your first day there), but even in your first year he'd cycled over to your house every night he had free. You'd always fussed over how he had the energy to do that, with how strenuous idol work can be, but he was insistent that you didn't worry about him too much. And now you were at Yumenosaki, he walked you home every day, just like he had in middle school. He was grateful for your ongoing presence in his life, but recently... He wanted things to change. Not in the sense that he didn't want you around anymore- as if he could ever want that- it was more like he wanted to see you more, if that was even possible.

He'd often catch himself thinking about you in a way he didn't know he could- about holding your hand or waking up next to you, about how nice it would be to be your boyfriend. It was bugging him endlessly. How could he fall in love with his best friend? That was something that belonged in slice of life manga and cheesy sitcoms, not real life. Not his life. Not when you had so many better options out there than him, when half the guys in your year were vying for your attention for less than professional reasons- and he knew that every one of them was likely better suited to you than he was. "Hey, what's on your mind?" Makoto nearly jumped out of his seat when you appeared next to  him, a concerned look on your face "O-oh! Nothings wrong, I'm fine." "I didn't ask if anything was wrong, doofus, but the fact that you answered like I did tells me you definitely just lied to my face. Cmon, out with it." "No really, I-I'm okay!" You frowned at him, pulling out the chair next to him and taking a seat. "When did you start hiding things from me?" "W-what?" "I feel like you don't tell me anything anymore... What happened to the Makoto who'd tell me everything, right down to how long it took you to eat your lunch? When did you stop wanting to share things with me?" You looked sad- heartbroken even- as you stared at your best friend. But that was just it. He'd always be your best friend, and nothing more. He'd thought he was okay with that, but he was beginning to realise he wasn't. "I don't know, I... I guess people just grow apart." He knew, the second he said it, that it was the wrong thing to say, and the tears pricking your eyes as you nodded and silently left the classroom confirmed it.

You didn't wait for him that evening. He arrived at the spot the two of you had used as a meeting place since you'd started at Yumenosaki and found nobody there. You didn't pick up when he called you, either, and the walk home was painfully silent without your company. He'd screwed up majorly, all because he couldn't stand to tell you he was in love with you. And he didn't know whether he'd be able to pick up the pieces or not.

But he knew he had to try.

This wasn't like him. Normally he'd call you before heading to your house, it was rude to drop by unannounced, but this time he didn't even think about it. (You'd likely not pick up anyway.) It wasn't until he turned onto your street that he even realised what he was doing, that he'd cycled all the way here without making a conscious choice to do so. Whether it was the fear of losing you forever or some miraculous bout of previously unfound confidence that saw him climbing the tree outside your window and knocking on it like some anime protagonist you guys would definitely make fun of together, he didn't know. All he knew was that when you opened the curtains you looked like you'd been crying- and that you shut them again the second you saw him. He slumped back on the branch he was sitting on, not ready to give up but feeling a little defeated, when he heard the door open below him.

"Makoto! What the hell are you doing up there?!" "I need to talk to you." "Ever heard of knocking?" "I didn't think you'd answer." "You could've tried!  Ugh, will you just get down from there, please? I'm having horrible visions of you with your head splattered on the sidewalk." He nodded and made his way out of the tree, trying not to think about how cute it was when you covered your eyes so you wouldn't have to see if he fell.

"I...I didn't mean what I said earlier." "I know." "You do?" "Yeah! I mean, come on. I know you better than anyone- if that was really how you felt you’d wanna talk about it, give me the reasons. You’re always so gentle with people, even when you don’t like them." "When you didn't walk home with me today I thought maybe I'd messed up beyond repair." "I was upset. Even if you didn't mean it, it hurt. And you've been so distant lately. I don't wanna lose you. Ever." "I don't wanna lose you either." The way you smiled at him warmed his heart, but your next words put a knife right through it. "Good. You're stuck with me as a best friend forever, whether you like it or not."

Makoto couldn't take it. He knew he wasn't good enough for you. You deserved a boyfriend who could sweep you off your feet, not some dork who's only romantic knowledge came from manga. But... even if it was unfounded, he had to have hope. He had to tell you how he felt.

"Y/N, look, I- I need to tell you something." "What is it?" "I-" The words stuck in his throat. You stared at him expectantly as he tried to get them out, but they wouldn't go, no matter how much he stuttered. Now was not the time for him to freak out and forget how to speak. He'd cycled over here and climbed a tree, for God's sake, and now he couldn't even say what he wanted to. He couldn't help but think that this was why you deserved better than him. "Makoto? Are you okay?" "Yes, I just-” He took a deep breath before finally blurting it out, so fast you could barely make out what he was saying. “I'm in love with you and I have been for like a year and I thought I could be okay with just being your best friend- and if you tell me to shut up and never talk about this again then I will, I'll be happy to be in your life in any capacity- but I knew I couldn't live with myself if I didn't try, you know? You're just so perfect and I know you deserve better than what I can offer you and it's so stupid for me to think I have a chance in hell but-" "Makoto!" "Y-yes?" "Will you shut the hell up and kiss me already?" "I- what?" "Oh, I have to do everything myself, don't I?" He was still processing what you'd said when you pulled him in for a kiss, cupping his face gently with your hands. It took him a minute to come to terms with the fact that you were kissing him, but eventually he settled his arms around your waist and melted into it. You pulled away abruptly when something cold and wet landed on your forehead, squinting up at the sky. As if the night hadn't played out enough like some cheesy romance film, snow began to fall around you.

"I probably should’ve worn a coat, huh..." "Oh my god, come inside before we both freeze to death!" "Will your parents be okay with that?" "Of course they will, it's you." You reached for his hand to pull him inside, but stopped when you noticed something. "Hey... you're still wearing the bracelet." "'Course I am. You told me to wear it all the time." You grinned up at him, giving him a soft peck on the lips. "I guess that heart means something different now, though." Makoto's real heart swelled in his chest. Being with you was... Well, it felt like something out of a fairytale, or one of those dreams that waking up from upsets you because it's not real. "Yeah. I guess it does."

[smileyoongle]

Yandere BTS! An Accidental One Night Stand

@floatingpandamonster hello there! I really like this request for some reason and I hope you like it. I know I answered this months later so apologies! You'll find the request below 😊

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

Kim Seokjin:

You woke up, feeling the light from the morning sun on your face. You rubbed your eyes and sat up, feeling a slight ache all over your body. Frowning, you looked around the room which certainly wasn't yours. Oh right! It was your best friend's, you were hanging out with him the night before. Suddenly, the realisation dawned on you and you gasped. Checking under the covers, your eyes widened when you saw yourself naked. Your head felt like it was gonna explode with the number of thoughts running in your mind. This was so wrong. You covered your face with your hands and shook your head. The sound of the door opening caught your attention. Jin walked in with a smile on his face as you stared at him, not knowing what to do. "Good morning, princess!" He chirped, walking towards where you were. Getting your muscles to move, you scanned around for your clothes and exhaled in relief before quickly grabbing them and putting them on. Jin already saw you naked, right? Besides, all you really wanted was to leave before he got the wrong hint. "What are you doing?" He asked, frowning on seeing you in a hurry. After buttoning up your shirt, you turned to him. "I'm sorry for what happened last night, Jin. You're my best friend and I don't see you in any other way. I hope we can forget about it and move ahead with our lives. I don't wanna lose what we have. I hope you understand." You said, giving him a small smile. You were impressed by your own speech, surely he would understand, right? Without waiting for his reply, you moved past him to leave only to be stopped by his hand on your wrist. Suddenly, his laughter filled the room, making you uncomfortable. You turned around to see why he was acting like this. "Jin!" You called out to him, making him stop abruptly. He clenched his jaw and pulled you towards him, his grip on your hand tightening with every second. Your breath hitched as he tucked your hair behind your ear. "I've held back for too long.....not anymore." He whispered in your ear before turning you around so that your back was against his chest. You whimpered when his hand wrapped around your throat lightly.

"Dedicate yourself to me, darling. I don't want to hurt you."

Kim Namjoon:

Tears fell down your cheeks as you stood in your living room, wearing the black dress from when you had gone clubbing. You had lost your virginity to a stranger whose name was Namjoon and that was a mistake. You had been saving yourself for someone special. How could you have been so careless? Maybe if you had been cautious enough, you wouldn't have been in the situation you were currently in. Namjoon circled you as you froze in your place, a knife in his hand. You had sneaked out at 4 AM from his house and made it back to yours only to find him sitting on the couch, patiently waiting for you to turn up. "You shouldn't have run away, Y/N. I was really looking forward to waking up next to you." He stated, shaking his head. What was he talking about? "Look, Namjoon, last night was a mistake and I greatly regret it. Also, I don't even know you so-" you tried explaining but he cut you off with a chuckle. "You don't know me, baby, but I know you. And I carefully planned everything for tonight. You wanna know why? Because I didn't want you to have your first time with any of the men out there. They don't deserve you. Only I do! No one can love you as much as I do!" He yelled, pulling you closer to him by gripping your hair. You whimpered as you tried to get out of his hold, crying uncontrollably. Seeing how hurt you were, he loosened his grip and hugged you. "I would never hurt you unless you hurt me, Y/N. So please, make this easy for yourself and come with me, okay?" He smiled, caressing your cheeks. You bravely shook your head, making Namjoon place his knife on your throat. "Let's try again, shall we?" He asked, trying to contain his anger. Taking the knife away from your throat, he cupped your cheeks. "I-I'll go with you." You mumbled, shaking in fear. He smirked and kissed your forehead.

"I love you, baby. I swear you were made only for me."

Min Yoongi:

Bad decisions have bad consequences. You always knew that but never really experienced it. But then again, there's always a first time. You cried silently, your hands on your forehead and your elbows resting on the kitchen counter. You had lost your virginity to your boyfriend, who sometimes drove you crazy with his possessiveness. But the past few days, he had been extra nice and caring. You being naïve, believed that he was probably the only man you'd ever love and decided that it was okay for you to do 'it' with him. You cried harder when you thought about how you broke your promise to your parents. You needed time away from Yoongi to think this through. There was no way you could look at him without thinking about what had happened. So you wiped your tears and grabbed your phone along with your wallet. Quietly walking to the door, you turned the knob to open it only to find out it was locked. You shook the knob and frowned until your eyes fell on the newly installed locks further up on the door. "You really thought you could just leave? My love, you keep forgetting that I know you better than you know yourself." Your head turned to see Yoongi standing in the hallway with his arms crossed. "Y-yoongi, what is all th-this?" You stuttered, trying to keep your calm. Yoongi walked towards where you stood and held your hands in his. "You were gonna leave me, Y/N. I know that. And I know about the promise you made to certain people but, baby, you don't have to worry. There will never be any other man in your life. It's only me. It'll always be me." He said, his blank expression creeping you out. You shook your head and tried to move away from him but he twisted your fingers making you scream in pain. You wildly thrashed, finally getting out of his hold and falling to the ground. You held your hands close to your chest and cried. You didn't think your boyfriend was a monster. Yoongi sighed before kneeling down in front of you and placing his fingers beneath your chin. He slowly pecked your lips and gave you a smile.

"You only belong to me, love. I'll make sure you never forget that."

Jung Hoseok:

You snuggled closer to the person whose arms were wrapped around you, smiling in content at how warm it felt. But something wasn't right. You ignored the uncomfortableness and tried to go back to sleep until you remembered. His lips on yours. His body against yours. Your eyes shot open and your heart started pounding. Did you really do it? You looked up to see Hoseok sleeping soundly with a smile on his face. He wasn't your boyfriend, you had barely been on 3 dates and last night was no different. You had no idea how you ended up in this position but clearly, things went down between you two. Guilt started eating you up inside, you had decided that this was gonna be your last date with Hoseok. You just didn't see him as your potential boyfriend. You pried his hands away only for him to tighten his hold. Your breath hitched when he nuzzled his face in your neck. Once again you tried to do the same, receiving a groan from him. "What do you think you are doing, angel?" He asked, voice raspy from sleep. You mentally sighed in relief, at least you didn't have to escape like a thief. Getting out of his arms, you sat up in his bed and turned to his confused form. "Hoseok, I'm just going to say it. This shouldn't have happened and I'm sorry if I got your hopes up. I just don't think there can be anything between us." You said, fiddling with your fingers. You slowly looked at him to find him sad and upset. You were horrible for doing this. Suddenly, he smiled widely. "You think I don't know that, Y/N? Why do you think this happened, angel? It's because I wanted it to. And now I own you, so no one else can dare look at you. You're only for my eyes." He said, making shivers run down your spine. You were beyond scared and disgusted. "I don't belong to anyone so you can go to hell with your stupid fantasies!" You bellowed, preparing to leave. You gasped when Hoseok grabbed your hand and pulled you to lay on the bed, straddling you. You struggled as he pinned your hands above your head, burying his face in the crook of your neck and taking in your scent.

"Just let me have you, angel. Because you drive me absolutely insane."

Park Jimin:

You stared at the mirror in the bathroom. The marks on your neck were fading but they were a reminder of what had happened 4 days ago. You had told your mother about what you had done, only to have her yell at you and tell you that you were tainted now. Your head hurt from all the stress. And the fact that Jimin was so happy about it was bothering you. You let out a heavy sigh and sat down on the bathroom floor, leaning against the door. Tears rolled down your cheeks while you closed your eyes and told yourself that it was okay. You loved Jimin, even though sometimes you felt like you didn't. A knock on the bathroom door made you flinch. "Baby, are you okay? You've been in there for too long." You could hear the concern in Jimin's voice. Wiping away your tears, you unlocked the door and stepped outside. "I'm fine." You gave him a small smile. He cupped your cheeks and looked into your eyes. "No, you aren't. In fact, you have been crying. What happened, Y/N? Who hurt you? Just tell me." He frowned and rubbed your cheek with his thumb. You sighed and held his hand, bringing it away from your cheeks. "I shouldn't have let that night happen, Jimin. Now everything's ruined. My mom hates me and she will probably never want to see me again!" You stated, walking away from him and into the living room. You heard his footsteps following you. "Are you telling me that you regret it?" His voice was small, you could tell he was hurt. You turned to face him, wanting to scold yourself for hurting him. "No, Jimin. I love you, I really do. I just think we should have waited. We don't even know how long we'll-" you tried holding his hand but he pulled away. "I dare you to finish that sentence." He said, expression turning from sad to angry. You shivered, his dark eyes making you scared. He had never been this angry before. Slowly, he took steps closer to you while you moved backwards, your back hitting the wall. He placed his hands on the wall behind you, trapping you. Your breathing was heavy and you felt small under his gaze. "Jimin, that's not what I meant." You mumbled, looking down at your feet. He held your jaw with his fingers, giving it a tight squeeze and making you whimper.

"I own you mind, body and soul. You'll be mine even in death."

Kim Taehyung:

Clutching your purse in your hand, you walked the endless corridors of the huge house. You were searching for Kim Taehyung, your boss who you had slept with. It was a party thrown by him for highlighting the achievements of the company. You didn't know how, but one thing led to another and here you were, with an aching body, looking for your boss, in order to know if you were going to get fired. You heard his voice when you passed the door to his study, halting immediately. Taking in a deep breath, you knocked and heard a small "come in". You entered the room and closed the door behind you, facing him only to find him looking at you intently from his seat. "Did you sleep well, Y/N?" He asked, breaking the silence. You nodded and bit your lip, moving to stand in front of his table. "Actually, I wanted to apologize for last night, Mr Kim-" you started, only to be interrupted by him. "Taehyung. I prefer Taehyung from your pretty little mouth." He said before standing up from the leather seat and walking towards you. Your throat ran dry and your hands became clammy. Pretty little mouth? "And there's no need to apologize, baby. Because this is going to happen again and again and again." He said, placing his hands on your waist and pulling you closer to him. You frowned, heart hammering inside your chest. "What is th-that supposed t-to mean?" You asked, your voice coming out as a whisper. Taehyung smiled and leaned his forehead on your shoulder. "You've had all my attention since the day you stepped in my office, Y/N. And now look what you've done. I'm in love with you. No matter how many times I touch you, it will never be enough." He confessed, making your eyes widen. You felt uncomfortable being there. You had always maintained your distance from him, meeting him only when he called, talking only about work. You held his hands and pushed them away from you, making his smile disappear. "Mr Kim, nothing can happen between us. You're my boss and I would appreciate it if you kept it that way." You said and turned around to leave. A squeal escaped your mouth when he grabbed you from behind and lay you down on his table before standing between your legs. You struggled and screamed, only for him to laugh at you. He gripped your wrists harshly and held them above your head. Leaning down, he kissed your neck before placing his lips next to your ears.

"Someday you'll know that we're meant to be. Until then, I'll just have to keep reminding you."

Jeon Jungkook:

His lips trailed down your neck, leaving marks that would be hard to cover up. You moaned as you ran your fingers through his hair, your body shivering under his touch.

You woke up with sweat beading on your forehead. It was only a dream, but a wet dream. And that too about Jungkook, your ex-boyfriend. You placed your hand on your chest and felt your heartbeat go back to normal. Why the hell were you dreaming of Jungkook? You frowned, feeling the strap of your bra beneath your fingers. You looked down at your body, gasping on seeing yourself in only your undergarments. To add to your surprise, you saw dark marks on your thighs. Love bites. You removed the blanket from your knees to reveal a metal cuff around your ankle which was connected to a chain. "Pretty, aren't they?" You flinched on hearing his voice. You looked up to find him leaning on the wall in front of the bed, shirtless and smirking. Your heart shattered when you remembered what happened last night. It had been so difficult to break up with Jungkook. He was too controlling and manipulative. Even after the breakup, he kept following you and tried to convince you to go back to him. A single tear fell down your cheek as you reached out to pull at the metal chain, only to find it cemented into the wall. "Don't bother, my love. They are strong enough to stop you from leaving me again." Jungkook said, moving to sit on the bed, close to you. You immediately moved back and pulled your knees to yourself. "Please let me go, Jungkook. I don't want to be with you! Don't you get it?!" You yelled, your lips quivering. His eyes turned dark and he clenched his jaw. "Who said you had a choice anymore? Don't YOU get it?! We are inseparable, Y/N!" He bellowed, emphasizing on the 'you'. You shook your head as you broke down into sobs and hid your face in your hands. Jungkook wrapped his arms around you, feeling you stiffen in his hold. You started struggling and pushing him away which only made him hold you tighter. Eventually, you stopped and cried against his chest while he caressed your hair, smiling at how you gave up so easily.

"I'm the only one who can make you happy, Y/N. I promise to love you for eternity."

Tbh, I don't think I did my best with this reaction. But it's not that bad, I guess. I also don't know if this was what you wanted, I hope I got it right though!

-XX

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Savannah

Jac: [Before the parties would have started, aka the getting ready hours] Jac: What's the vibe in University Hall tonight then? Savannah: [a selfie of lowkey everyone getting ready together cos it's all girls] Jac: 👍 Looks like carnage Jac: don't lose your favourite 💄 Savannah: my ears hurt & I can't stop saying Americanisms Jac: 😂 Jac: Glad I'm not seeing you tonight Jac: almost Savannah: will you still love me tomorrow though? Jac: Even if you start saying like, totally and OH MY GOD at the beginning and end of all your sentences Savannah: I already do say OH MY GOD a lot Savannah: it's not very far to fall 😔 Jac: Fallen 👼🏾 Jac: as you missed out on Sinners Savannah: 😢 I'm sure Savannah: except not at all because I had a much better time with my 👼🏻 Jac: If the stories I've seen are anything to go by Jac: missed nothing but potential 💀💀 Jac: Sports people go so hard Savannah: I know Savannah: it's a definite no thank you from me, in like, every possible way Savannah: even if every 🤴🏻🤴🏼🤴🏽🤴🏾🤴🏿 here was there Jac: we're off 🏀⚽🏉🏑🥍🏏 boys for good Savannah: I swear to god, hit me with a 🏑or 🏏 if I consider it however briefly & however intoxicated Jac: make a pact with some OTT American girl tonight Jac: she'll banshee screech and keep 'em well away 'til I can Savannah: I'll just picture my dad's disapproving face Savannah: wait no, actually that would only spur me on Jac: Some of those girls HAVE to be cool Jac: not as cool as me, obviously Jac: but you should have fun with them 🚫 boys allowed Savannah: I don't know what to wear & it's upsetting me greatly Savannah: none of these girls understand that telling me I look amazing in anything/everything hanging up is NOT what I need to hear Savannah: obviously I do, that's why I purchased & packed it Jac: They aren't lying but they aren't being helpful Jac: send me the options Jac: you wanna get the mood right Savannah: can't we just get ready together? I PROMISE I'll shut my door on you as soon as we're done Jac: I don't know if my ❤ can handle that, babe Savannah: okay, I'll shut the door on you at the last possible second Jac: You know exactly how hard I find it saying no to you, don't you? Savannah: but if you want to say no, you can Savannah: I just know that you don't want to Jac: Give me a sec Jac: I'll convince it's the fashion emergency it is Savannah: 😊 Savannah: the real fashion emergency is that nobody is allowed to touch your hair but me Jac: The girl across from me does have full intentions to straighten it so Jac: wish me 🍀 Savannah: 😠 Savannah: she better step back Savannah: what protection is she intending to use? I think not Jac: You're the cutest ever Savannah: You have perfect natural texture, can she not see that? Jac: She must not see me how you do Jac: but I'm okay with that Savannah: Well, I've got my eye on her now Savannah: if Catholic school taught me anything it's that 🙏🏾 doesn't work so I won't be wishing you luck, I'll be taking hair styling action Jac: I thought you were going to say something about it teaching you how to fuck up other girls Jac: but you're much too ladylike and 👼🏾 for that Savannah: Oh honey, I knew how to do that before I got there Jac: Very true Jac: I remember Jac: we were kind of a bit terrible, weren't we? Savannah: I remember us being young & bored Savannah: so maybe we did some terrible things Savannah: but we're trying to do & be better now Jac: Works for me Jac: though I was considerably less bored when you were there Savannah: me too, of course Savannah: & maybe I was still doing terrible things at 18, which is less young, but I was also in Sligo so I feel like allowances have to be made Jac: Boredom increased as well as age Jac: it's allowed Savannah: heartbreak increased too Savannah: I can't be held responsible for what I do when I miss you that much Jac: It's too soon to make the 'and who' joke about your ex but it's something young and bored me would say so, feels right to honour past us by mentioning it Savannah: 😄 Savannah: he honourably gave me all summer to get over him, it's fine Jac: You were with him the whole two years, yeah? Savannah: yes Jac: thought so Jac: I could never stand anyone longer than a few weeks Savannah: I'm not sure I could honestly stand him longer than that Jac: Is it a security thing? Jac: keeping him around, despite that Savannah: If I was a lecture topic that would be one of the bullet points undeniably Jac: 'Course, sorry Jac: it's all the ❤ talk going on Jac: they'll be over it once this week is Savannah: I didn't mean it like that, I mean that like I wish I could pinpoint the exact reason Savannah: but there isn't just one, I guess Jac: It's cool, I also didn't mean to be a downer so we don't need to bulletpoint or pinpoint either Jac: lectures haven't started yet, just excited for that, obviously 🤓 Jac: you're not easy to commit to paper, to logic and rationale Jac: that's why I like you Savannah: you could never be, I'm so happy whenever I'm with you Savannah: & I'm even happier you're so excited because me too, of course Savannah: I know I'm very illogical & irrational, I'm the happiest that you like me in spite of it Jac: 🥰🥰🥰 Jac: Freshers has, obviously, been better than I had imagined it could be Jac: but that's almost entirely because of you Jac: I wanna get going now, with the actual course, what we're here to do Jac: though I want this time to last forever, so, conflicted but Savannah: I've changed my mind, I think I'm the happiest actually that none of these girls can see me 😳 because of you Savannah: I feel the same way though, about all of it Jac: I promise I won't embarrass you in front of your dormies Jac: even though I like it when you 😳 best of all Savannah: You could literally never do that either Savannah: none of them are anything like you to the point that I feel sad for them Savannah: because you're perfect Jac: You're the most incredible person I've ever met Jac: we're special together Savannah: you're special without me Savannah: but I'm not leaving you ever again Jac: I love you so much Savannah: I love you too Jac: [leaving it a long-ish time for them aka 10 minutes or something] Jac: I am free, and omw Savannah: Thank GOD Savannah: I thought you were going to say you weren't coming Jac: No way Jac: my room is on the top floor, so I kept getting stopped on every level 🙄 Savannah: At least I know that girl wouldn't have been able to straighten your hair in that amount of time Jac: unless she was just gonna do the top layer and then I'd look like a 🌲 Jac: but that did not happen, thank GOD Savannah: Don't even Savannah: I would cry Jac: Me too Jac: not that there's anyone I really wanna impress, also don't want or need the potential nicknames that would come from that non-look Savannah: Baby, I would never let anyone tease you, or you leave her with a non look Savannah: I could & would fix it in spite of my overwhelming sadness Jac: Dry those eyes Jac: only ten minutes away and not looking like a shrub Savannah: 🥰 Jac: This walk takes longer going to see you than it does coming back Savannah: I miss you too Jac: 😳 Savannah: that's also how I'll look when you see me like this Jac: Come on Jac: you're perfect Jac: we just need to find an outfit as equally so for tonight Savannah: It's not the outfit, it's my insane nerves Jac: What are you nervous about? Savannah: This isn't like our psych night, you know, what do I have in common with any of these girls? Potentially nothing Savannah: I'm having catholic school flashbacks Jac: I get you Jac: think of it as less about making friends, and more about making decent neighbours Jac: the people on our course, we'll be seeing the full four years, the people in our dorms, it could just be this year, 'cos we'll all move next Jac: don't put too much pressure on yourself Savannah: I don't wanna do it but I can't be the girl who doesn't get involved, that would actually be crazy Savannah: you're right, I know that you're right Jac: I don't either Jac: if it had to compete with a night with you, no chance Jac: we'll give it a solid hour, and if it's truly awful, then we'll just hole ourselves up in one of our rooms and hide Savannah: okay Jac: but it won't be Jac: everyone will love you Savannah: I don't want everyone to love me, just you Jac: then they can admire you respectfully from afar Savannah: 👸🏽 Jac: I hear the American girls are loaded Jac: I bet they have loads of 🔥 makeup and clothes to borrow Savannah: the skincare would make my auntie 😢 Jac: wonder if there's any princesses Savannah: I'll find out Savannah: maybe not tonight but eventually Jac: you won't run away with her Jac: even if the skincare is beyond 💣 Savannah: I'll run away with the skincare Savannah: to you Jac: ❤ Jac: loml Savannah: ☺️ Savannah: It would be SO typical if the loudest brashest girl in this dorm who I already can't stand was royalty of some kind Jac: I think I saw her on my way out yesterday Jac: you'll have to point her out Savannah: You definitely heard her, I swear she's woke me every morning so far Jac: Ugh Jac: need to think of a way to 😶 her Savannah: I will be stealing her skincare because I'm BEYOND sleep deprived Savannah: What did you do when you had to share with Jude? Jac: military grade headphones Jac: but ignoring her makes her 😠 so it was one of the only joys I had too, like Savannah: Then I won't be able to hear all the secrets you spill in your sleep, she's not taking that possible joy from me Jac: 😨 Jac: ?! Savannah: I remember one of the first times I slept over, we had a full conversation because I asked if you were awake and you answered yes & asked me if I was okay, which was so sweet by the way, & I didn't realise that you were actually still asleep until after I'd told you everything Savannah: that's the only reason I'm hoping for secrets 😄 Savannah: you don't ever tell me anything scandalous, you're just an 👼🏻 who always tries to take care of me Jac: I'm glad my subconscious hasn't totally betrayed me Jac: and that it cares as much about you as conscious me does Savannah: your subconscious loves me too, it's the cutest Jac: ☺ Jac: you're very lovable Savannah: The girl we hate has literally just asked me if I'm talking to my boyfriend 🙄 the love of my life, yes, some ridiculous boy from freshers, not even Jac: 100% she thinks she's found a 🤴 and he's a total 🐸 who'll spend the rest of the year ghosting her Savannah: 😄 SO true Jac: Some of the lads on our course are nice and everything Jac: but they all seem like 👶 somehow Savannah: I could not agree more & I've done my time babysitting Jac: Seriously Jac: we've got enough to focus on without mothering some poor homesick boys, no thanks Savannah: Of course she's doing art history, it's clear she intends to focus on cliches Jac: Oh my God Jac: I bet she dresses like a mini Middleton Jac: bless her ❤ Savannah: I won't be borrowing her 💄👚👠👒 Jac: 🤭 Definitely not Jac: Meghan is prettier and much more stylish Savannah: I love her Savannah: no offence but I would have to run away with her if she were here Jac: 😏 I understand Jac: I'll control my 💔 Savannah: not that I could bear to break up her & Harry & their beautiful family unit, however hypothetically Jac: they're adorable Jac: and you don't need to steal anyone else's 🤴 or 👸 Savannah: I really don't Jac: no one wants to be that evil queen stereotype Savannah: that's a reputation that would follow you Jac: came here to escape all of mine, not acquire new ones Jac: new 👎 ones Jac: 👍 ones are welcomed, obviously Savannah: I'll resist the urge to make the obvious unfavourable comparison between an evil queen & my dad's new girlfriend in order to do the same Jac: Does she come as a package deal with ugly stepsisters or are they not that serious yet? Savannah: I don't think he's willing to be that serious Jac: at least you don't have to be either then Savannah: I'm not there, he can't control anything I do anymore Savannah: but he needs to be fair to Sienna Jac: What does she think about it all? Savannah: She says she's happy he's moving on too, because I was leaving & mum's getting better Savannah: like we're in a fairy tale Jac: That's obviously just what she wishes and hopes is true Jac: even if it's not totally, yet Jac: but it's not, not true, right? Jac: Your mum is doing better than she was, yeah Savannah: but we both know better than rock bottom isn't recovered Savannah: I don't want her getting her hopes up too high Jac: Absolutely Jac: that's tough, all you can do is talk to her and tell her that Jac: even if she's not listening, she will be, you know, it'll sink in regardless Savannah: She's BEYOND sick of the sound of my voice, I'm not giving up though Jac: you're such a good sister ❤ Savannah: because I only have one, god knows how you cope Jac: Poorly, I'm sure Savannah: no way! Savannah: you're an incredible sister & best friend Jac: I'm not but Jac: it's complicated Jac: and not important right now Jac: [show up for this outfit emergency sure] Savannah: [we all know how happy she is to see her and how extra she'd be about it as standard so] Jac: [enjoy your moment you're not meant to be having ladies] Savannah: [casually ignoring all the peeps that are everywhere because you've got your bae now] Jac: [we know the vibes, we out here being gay] Savannah: [and drinking 🥂🍾 cos we extra] Jac: [we loving life 'cos we're together we're these bitches but you will be separating ladies] Savannah: [get all your touchy feely flirting in now gal cos yeah she has to leave] Jac: [at least you have the thinly-veiled excuse of needing to dress her] Savannah: [take all the thinly veiled excuses while you can cos we can't avoid the convo forever ladies] Jac: [or can you lmao] Savannah: [lives together for the next decade, gets married and has babies, still hasn't had the convo lol] Jac: [truly, okay, so you gotta go girl, we know what this would've been like, cue dramatic pining] Savannah: [sends her a selfie like 🥺 as soon as she's left basically with the flimsy excuse of the girl they hate being there in the background] Jac: ugh, isn't there some art for her to go appreciate Jac: besides you Savannah: she can appreciate my 😳 if you keep complimenting me like that Jac: you look amazing Jac: everyone is gonna be DYING to talk to you Savannah: thanks to you I do Jac: like you said, you look good in all your clothes, obvs, it was just picking the one for tonight Savannah: but whatever the outfit choice, I'd still be a nervous wreck if you hadn't come over to make me feel better Savannah: you make me feel amazing, that's why I now look it Jac: You return the favour tenfold, trust me Jac: whatever dress I throw on is not even half of it Savannah: 🥰 but I do still want to see what dress you have thrown on Jac: Of course Jac: 🤞 my room hasn't been turned into designated pre-party area or something Savannah: I can remember perfectly well how intimidating you can be if you need to, but I'll try not to as my 😳 didn't subside that long ago & it's honestly so hot all the things that you're capable of Jac: I'm not okay with you being intimidated by me Jac: you're as capable and hot, that's why we're here together Savannah: You don't have to worry because I'm not, I know how kind & sensitive you are too, especially when we are together Savannah: it's one rule for me & another for all the stupid boys we're surrounded by, in my case literally right now, seemingly out of nowhere Jac: Eurgh Jac: at least they're not constantly around your dorm Jac: though most of them have been okay, they are some really annoying ones in JB Savannah: 🙌🏾 🙏🏾 I'm not actually going to announce to my dad that he made one good decision, but between you & me 🙌🏾 🙏🏾 Savannah: consider this your sanctuary whenever you need it, baby girl Jac: He made it for the wrong reasons so he doesn't deserve the round of applause but Jac: ❤ Jac: next year we can get somewhere amazing, and only have over the people we want Savannah: at this point that's literally just Maddie 😄 Jac: Devin is nice, even though she's American Savannah: I don't hold it against Meghan so I'll extend her the same courtesy, I guess Jac: I'd say Nat but I don't know if you'd want her in your house, you know 😏 Savannah: like I wouldn't want her their specifically or she's not house trained in general? Jac: [sends her the butch girl's sinners night socials like see for yourself] Savannah: oh Jac: 😂 Savannah: okay, well I did ask Jac: Yeah Jac: she like, likes me Savannah: of course she does, you're perfect Savannah: she'd have bad taste if she didn't Jac: you knew? Savannah: her aesthetic isn't exactly subtle Jac: That's true Jac: she's alright though, if you get past that Jac: aside from the hitting on you every five seconds thing Savannah: She didn't try & hit on me 😢 Savannah: I knew the ✨ were too much! Jac: Maybe your aesthetic is the opposite of subtle too? Jac: you'd be far more 😢 if Maddie hadn't Savannah: Maddie didn't, she was all over that boy whose name I didn't catch Jac: Awh, baby Savannah: 🥺 Jac: I'll flirt with you, if you're feeling leftout Savannah: you don't like her more than me, do you? Jac: in what world is that even possible Savannah: it's freshers, we're about as far removed from the real world as it's possible to be Jac: I don't like her Jac: you're my best friend ever Savannah: it's okay if you do, but you can't like her more than me Jac: Never Savannah: experimentation is what university is for, everyone knows that, so it's fine Jac: Yeah, it's fine is it? Savannah: of course Savannah: you can like whoever you want Jac: She's not my type so Savannah: Devin then Jac: You're cool with that Jac: like, that's what you want? Savannah: for you to be happy is all I've ever wanted Savannah: why wouldn't I be cool with whoever you date, unless they're horrifically unsuitable,  criteria which we can't impose on her simply for being American Jac: Okay Jac: 'course Jac: I'm back, I'll let you party in peace Savannah: you have to show me your outfit first Jac: I'm just gonna chill in what I had on, who cares right Jac: we aren't going anywhere Savannah: I obviously care but sure, you do look beautiful as you are Jac: You know what I mean Jac: no entry requirements Savannah: except 🍾🥂 Jac: so much Jac: the headaches aren't fun Savannah: but everything up to that point always is Savannah: it's going to be so strange not having you here later Jac: I know Jac: we should probably get used to it Savannah: No Savannah: I've just gotten used to having you back Jac: I'm not going anywhere Jac: but you need the legroom, you said Savannah: that's not how you made it sound a literal second ago & you can't leave me, I need you Jac: We'll only share a bed 'til you get a boyfriend Savannah: I'm not getting a boyfriend Savannah: I distinctly recall telling you, I like being single Jac: For now Savannah: Yes, because we're talking about right now Jac: We don't need to talk about this at all Savannah: not if you don't want to Jac: we should be having fun Savannah: stop it Jac: Stop what? Savannah: you've been trying to end this conversation since you got back Jac: Only for you Savannah: that's not true Jac: not just for that Jac: but we should be, you think so too Jac: experimenting, whatever else uni is good for Savannah: I think you should do whatever will make you the happiest Jac: I know, I know Savannah: so okay, if the fun you believe we're meant to be having tonight doesn't include me, I'll talk to you when you've had it, I guess Savannah: I don't want to hold you back or anything Jac: That's not what I mean Savannah: Well, what do you mean? Jac: I don't know Jac: and I don't know what would make me happiest Jac: can that be okay too Savannah: you don't have to have answers for everything all the time, especially not just in order to give to me when I'm being demanding about it Jac: It's fine Savannah: it doesn't have to be, you're allowed to be annoyed at me, even in our honeymoon period Jac: I'm not annoyed at you Savannah: you know what I mean, all your emotions are valid Jac: So are yours Jac: you've been clear what yours are, I haven't Jac: I'm angry at myself, not you Savannah: I don't want that Jac: It's not your fault Savannah: it feels like it is Jac: It really isn't Jac: I'm sorry Savannah: how can I make you feel better? Jac: I'll be fine Savannah: don't say that, let me fix it Jac: You can't change how you feel, and I don't expect you to Savannah: I love you, nothing is ever going to change that Savannah: that's how I feel, you know that Jac: I do know what I want Jac: and I'm not experimenting Jac: alright Jac: that changes everything Savannah: I meant with different people, that's all Savannah: you've said yourself that after a few weeks you lose interest Jac: I've not lost interest in you in two years Savannah: you haven't seen me in two years Jac: Like seeing you is going to make it go away? Savannah: if I can't live up to your romanticised view of me, then yes Jac: I know who you are Savannah: I don't think I really know who I am though Savannah: not after everything Jac: I think that's normal Jac: and I like whoever you are Savannah: if you can throw a 'for now' at me, I can too Jac: That would be convenient Jac: but it never happened before, so I don't see that it will Savannah: this has never happened to me before & yet you still believe I'll choose some boy over you Jac: I've not either Jac: I'm just saying how it was before Savannah: well that isn't a fair comparison Jac: Isn't it? Savannah: No Savannah: I didn't want you to kiss me before but it's all I want now Jac: that's what I want too Savannah: did you get the same message I did about the second year psych house party? Savannah: we could go Jac: Should we? Savannah: we want to join the pysch society, right? At least some of those 2nd years will be part of it Savannah: it's more productive than awkward small talk with these girls in my dorm Savannah: & most importantly, I'll get to see you again, so yes Savannah: I think we should Jac: You're right Jac: we can make these connections any time, this is a too good an opportunity to expand our horizons Savannah: exactly Savannah: though by the time I've walked over to you in these heels you'll have had time to make a million connections within that dorm too Savannah: 😄 Jac: You need to invest in a pair of flats for your bag, seriously Savannah: I've done my time wearing flats & I got rid of that urge, coincidentally, once my insecure boyfriend dumped me Savannah: I need to drink less 🍾🥂 potentially Jac: Okay 😏 but be careful Savannah: You're adorable Jac: I'd rather you didn't fall into the sea, or a golf hole, that's all Savannah: I promise to look where I'm going since you aren't here to look at Jac: Not much to look at currently Jac: I better get changed after-all Savannah: that's not even close to true Savannah: you're beautiful & interesting irrespective of what you're wearing Jac: Now you're being shameless Savannah: I would NEVER Jac: 😂 Savannah: if you make me laugh there's every increased chance I will fall into a ⛳️ Jac: 🤐 Jac: You're shameless in a good way Savannah: Then you won't mind me asking a shameless question, do you think she's going to be there? Jac: Who? Savannah: Natalie, of course Jac: Oh, I dunno Jac: if she knows some older psych kids already, could see it, but otherwise, doubt it Savannah: Hmm Jac: What's hmm? Savannah: I'm just thinking maybe I need to run into her if she's going to be flirting with you whenever you do Jac: So she can flirt with you too Savannah: So she'll stop doing it, I'm not that shameless, thank you Jac: How are you gonna get her to do that? Savannah: I'm sure she will respect that I saw you first Jac: You're so Savannah: it's like beyond terrifying when you don't finish a sentence Jac: it's only 'cos I'm gonna say something so nice it'll scare us both Savannah: I could never be scared of a compliment Jac: Just me, then, make it worse 😋 Savannah: Baby, you don't need to be scared either Jac: But I want you so bad it is Savannah: you aren't going to lose me so it doesn't have to be Jac: I'll try Jac: to believe that, to not be scared Savannah: I'll be here to help you, because nobody can separate us this time except us & that's not something I'm ever going to let happen Jac: Good, as long as that keeps being what we both want, then there's nothing we can't solve Savannah: I believe that Savannah: [probably show up so you can be extra in person gal starting with your 😍 over whatever she's wearing now] Jac: [when you're definitely going in for the kiss right away no pretense] Savannah: [we all know she's about it] Jac: [thank god lmao] Savannah: [don't need a repeat of that runaways moment] Jac: [truly, casually try to calm down with 🍾🥂 now 'cos nearly died] Savannah: [when you're lowkey so into each other that you forget you've got somewhere else to be going] Jac: [already bailed on one idea here ladies] Savannah: [makes me lol like how long did you last at your dorm parties, no time at all] Jac: [literal, and you were just on your phones nearly having an argument so] Savannah: [not that I blame you cos everyone I shared with were dicks and you are only there for the first year which will fly by but the point ladies] Jac: [my poor boo, but we know you ain't making bffs so it matters not] Savannah: [god bless you two because it will be a miracle if you make it to this party with how highkey you are rn] Jac: [how you've only kissed is amiracle] Savannah: [I have the hilarious mental image of them both fixing their makeup and hair like okay we can go & then making out again so they have to redo it and so on for infinity lol] Jac: [rinse and repeat, too real] Savannah: [like what are you putting on and taking off too, very we ain't even gonna make it to this club, Beyonce approves] Jac: [bop and a lifestyle] Savannah: [Savannah already has the biggest lips ever they would be obscene after kissing forever, what a visual] Jac: [someone said she should be cast as Sally from tnbc and I can't unsee lol] Jac: [corpse bride fool] Savannah: [should we let them hook up tonight or wait until tomorrow/ the end of freshers?] Jac: [I say tonight purely so they can be ultra gay at the festival moment tomorrow lol] Savannah: [I agree that's a great idea] Jac: [and we almost had a real convo so it's been amped up here] Savannah: [I know I'm evil but I think their first time should be like a bit awkward because we always let everyone have a swag one and like you can get there ladies but it fits with who Savannah is/ how easily she'd freak out if everything wasn't perfect after all this build up and it works once again for them because their communication and trust levels that neither of them would be like okay well that's NEVER happening again ever] Jac: [that makes sense to me too] Savannah: [like if Sav was freaking out/crying cos she's like this is not going according to plan Jac isn't gonna let her leave, as she said they can work anything out and would once she's calmed down because gal you're clearly into each other, you can do this, just chill] Jac: [we know you can calm her down and as long as it's not like 'I don't wanna do this anymore' she's not gonna freak too so] Savannah: [and we all know when it's swag it'll be swag because she's 100% that straight girl that was like oh yeah it takes me a really long time to have an orgasm which I know is a real thing like Rosie always saying she takes like 45 minutes but in her case it's definitely her boyfriends not doing the most because that was such a thing when I was in that straight girl tumblr tag lol] Jac: [it just makes sense, like we wouldn't know what to do with a penis 'cos we don't have one, you need to learn whereas if you know yourself if you know what I'm saying, gay sex is easier to be good at] Savannah: [she just always puts too much pressure on herself to be A+ at everything immediately so it made sense to me that she would have a me style freak out because she hasn't done loads of nerdy prep for this whereas Jac can just swag it because she's not doing that she's just in her emotions] Jac: [god bless, we just freaking out that she's gonna flip 180 at any minute but not gonna let that stop her obvs] Savannah: [it's fair because we'd all be thinking it] Jac: [hence tryna say it but being crap at doing so] Savannah: [go to the party first though ladies because if this hook up drama happened first you'd never make it] Jac: [yes, go get adopted by some psychology students] Savannah: [love that for you both tbh] Jac: [you'd be thrilled, nerds] Savannah: [even though you're both really distracted by how much you wanna hook up, focus nerds] Jac: [whatever gets you going i guess] Savannah: [is there anything we really want to happen at this party or should we just keep it chill, by which I mean sexual tension off the charts but a good time had by all] Jac: [Hmm, Natalie should not be there 'cos too cool for school but even if she was, bye, do you have any ideas?] Savannah: [I agree they should be the only psychology freshers there because nerds and defs getting adopted] Jac: [agreed, be those hoes we know you are] Savannah: [you've been extra in terms of nearly having a row so of course you gotta be extra the other way and just keep all those makeouts going, JJ would be proud] Jac: [people would be about it like the bitch on the beach 'cos straights are always like OMG YOU'RE SO SWEET AHH so you can lap that up shamelessly like oh yes we are haha] Savannah: [progress is being made tonight honey cos we did that little display for the butch on psych night but you've not actually kissed anywhere but your dorms] Jac: [proud of you gals] Savannah: [considering the awkwardness of a 2 year absence that we started this uni experience with, you're doing amazing gals] Jac: [truly, such a weird situation who knows what any of us would do] Savannah: [if it was me I'd have to just pretend the other person didn't exist for the rest of my life and suffer] Jac: [not I, I would get you] Savannah: [I really hope there's no gross posh boys at this party cos you don't need that any of y'all sweet nerds] Jac: [undoubtedly there is but pretend to be progressive and just silently oggle ty] Savannah: [tah very much lads] Jac: [gotta pretend to be cool even though they are paying you NO attention] Savannah: [nor will they, we're leaving the straightness behind forever] Jac: [that tickled me] Jac: [maybe there was a student teacher there or a real one but not in a creepy way, bit weird but uni is, so maybe they cornered 'em and now have separate meetings with 'em to like, get ahead, idk, nerd shit, so one of them has gone first and then it's like morning, afternoon, time to start getting ready so they've gone back to own dorms] Savannah: [yeah there's loads of potential for what that could be because we know they'd wanna be involved in everything] Jac: [literal like maybe there was two important peeps and they're tackling one each, it don't matter, you will have to part some times and that's all we need] Savannah: [yeah we know what the vibe we're trying to get at here] Savannah: I can't find my [insert obscure makeup routine item/accessory that she simply must have to get ready like okay]! Savannah: today is a trial already honestly Jac: Has Mega not Markle been snooping through your stuff? Jac: I think I saw it in your brown satchel last though, really Jac: What's up, boo? Savannah: I hope not & I instead hope that you're right as you usually are Savannah: maybe I have champagne brain or something Jac: I've not heard of it being a Thing™ but I still lock my door even when I'm just going to the kitchen 🤷 Jac: we did drink a LOT more at the party Jac: productive though, like we hoped Savannah: as long as I didn't make a TOTAL fool of myself, I'm counting it as a definite success Jac: Not even Jac: you were perfect Jac: we weren't that level of drunk or we would have KNOWN not to approach the editor of the magazine Savannah: I don't know how you always manage to put me instantly at ease, except of course that you're actually the level of perfect that you're trying to portray me as right now Jac: You deserve to be Jac: no one else works as hard as you Jac: you need to take the time and headspace to enjoy the spoils of Savannah: literally god knows when but I'll try Jac: tonight will be a good place to start Jac: the expectation is nothing but to dance and have fun Jac: in something as colourful and ✨ as possible Savannah: 😊 Savannah: I do understand why the majority of freshers are claiming it to be the highlight before its even happened Jac: it'll be mine to see how beautiful you'll be Savannah: you're this smooth, this early, after that much 🍾🥂? Okay then, wow Savannah: the pressure is back on Jac: Not even Jac: you make me feel the cheesiest Savannah: you're not though, trust me, because my ex was & you're so far from Savannah: his everything basically Jac: I'll take it as the compliment it undoubtedly is Jac: have you found your [thing]? Jac: I can go into town and check if they have some, though the chances are slim Savannah: you have to because I can only be so complimentary & remain productive when I already miss you this much Savannah: yes! You were so right about where it was, of course Jac: I miss you more Savannah: that's impossible & I refuse to acknowledge it Jac: you'll have to when I show you later Savannah: oh Savannah: well now I'm unfocused Jac: Are we mad about that or no? Savannah: frustration does come into it, anger doesn't Jac: You're so cute Jac: tell me how I can help Savannah: you are helping Jac: more Jac: I wanna help more Savannah: No, because I can't demand that you come here any time I want you to Savannah: even if I really want you to Jac: it'd be hot if you did Jac: demand away Jac: though I really do need to go into town, stock up on some essentials Savannah: I'm trying to be 👼🏾 Savannah: but you & the lord are testing me Jac: You're very good Jac: that's the problem Jac: I never want to leave you, or do anything but be with you, properly Savannah: 🥺🥺🥺 Savannah: you're going to make me cry or run towards you or something else as dramatic Jac: I can handle dramatic Jac: prefer the term passionate though, suits you better Savannah: you think you can Jac: prove me wrong Jac: try to, anyway Savannah: stop trying to tempt me, you'll never get to town if I do Jac: Okay, okay 👼🏻 Jac: just making sure you're the most excited you can be to see me later Savannah: you're making sure I need to see you now Jac: Maybe Savannah: it's not a maybe for me Jac: Promise? Savannah: yes Jac: 🥰 Jac: I don't know what to say but that Savannah: you don't have to say anything, just come & see me before you go Jac: alright Jac: hold on Savannah: 😊 Jac: I know you look much cuter than that emoji rn Savannah: [a selfie because of course she looks effortlessly 💣] Jac: oh Savannah: Now you know exactly how I look Jac: now I need to 🏃 Savannah: I wouldn't be mad about it Savannah: I am waiting for you, after all Jac: You reckon you've been patient enough, yeah? Savannah: don't you think so? Jac: You've not wanted to kiss me for as long as I've wanted to kiss you Savannah: I know Jac: so, you can wait a little bit and I won't feel too bad Jac: even if you 🥺 Savannah: I don't want you to feel bad, you know that's the opposite of how I want to make you feel Savannah: for a really long time Savannah: but if you want to make me wait instead, you can Savannah: I won't 🥺 Jac: Savannah Savannah: ? Jac: Do you know how good it feels to hear you say all that Savannah: I may not have waited as long as you but I still feel good right now knowing that this is something that's finally happening Jac: I want you to feel good Jac: and happy and safe and Jac: only good things Savannah: that's all I want for both of us Jac: you make me happy Savannah: I hope so because you did & do make me the happiest I've ever been Jac: then it's settled Savannah: that you're running here? Okay Jac: That, Jac: and the fact we're going to keep doing everything we can to make each other happy Savannah: 😄 Of course Savannah: I knew that's what you actually meant but it'll make me really happy to have you here Jac: I'm looking forward to feeling that Savannah: you won't have to leave too soon, will you? Jac: Nah Jac: we've got time Jac: you're my priority right now Savannah: that's a relief because you're everything to me Savannah: & if I have to make time by following you into town & every shop, then I will Savannah: but you might want more privacy than that Jac: there's no maybe that I want to be alone with you right now Savannah: that's another relief, I don't think I'm ready to be that shameless Savannah: it's a very small town Jac: 😂 Jac: you never have to be that shameless Jac: I only wanna do what makes you happy Savannah: please remind me of that when lectures start & you're the only thing I can think about because I feel like the urge to be shameless won't be as easy to ignore then Jac: I'll help you study if you help me Jac: you were always distractingly beautiful, we were still the perfect team Savannah: so were you, I know you think I wasn't looking, that I didn't want to, but that just isn't true Jac: I know there were Jac: moments Jac: it was just not knowing if they were the same moments for you as they were for me Savannah: as soon I met you I felt like I didn't know anything any more, not to be the level of sure that I thought I needed everything to stay at for my life to make sense Savannah: I was a mess, there's a high probability that I still am Jac: I didn't mean to do that to you Jac: I know you aren't asking for an apology for it or anything Jac: it was the same for me in that I'd not felt that before either Savannah: you didn't do anything, it was my own feelings that turned my world upside down & my own fault that instead of trying to actually deal with it, I decided to fill my world with loads of other things, as if that would force it into being the right way up again Savannah: of course it didn't Jac: I'm not about to blame mine on you either Jac: though you are the only person, girl or boy, that I've been this attracted to, I only mean that as a positive Jac: it was a mess of a time, and there's lots of it I do regret and have learned from, and continue to learn from, hopefully, but I don't regret it all, and don't think we should Savannah: I could never take you saying or feeling that for me as a negative Savannah: & yes, I agree, though I don't think I've done nearly as much learning or growing in these two years as I should've Savannah: which is why I don't want to be a distraction for you, despite the fact that this situation couldn't be more different than anything that happened in Sligo Jac: Me either, I didn't turn into or saint myself in your absence Jac: in certain ways, I got worse, honestly Jac: ways I still haven't dealt with Jac: but you could never be a distraction in the way those things and people were for you Jac: you make me better Jac: I know there were instances where we made each other worse Jac: but is it giving us too much credit to say that was more, the upsidedownness of how our feelings made our lives feel, rather than us being together? Savannah: I guess that the only way we can truly take that credit by earning it now, in being together & doing better Savannah: because our lives are still going to be upside down here, sometimes & maybe even often to start with Jac: I can acknowledge that my life isn't upside down because of this, us, you Jac: not dealing with it, facing it, that was a big part Jac: not all of it, our lives are big and complex and messy, regardless Jac: but denying who I am, what I want, well, it didn't even feel like my life Savannah: if only the guilt I feel began & ended with you, I know I can do things to heal that Savannah: this relationship is the most well functioning one I have, including the relationship I have with myself Jac: I really know what you mean Jac: I've barely communicated with my family since Jac: and even before that, I was never great at it Savannah: I literally have no room to judge, you know the state that my family has been and is currently in Jac: and there are relationships, guilt, I personally feel I'll never be able to erase Jac: it's fitting punishment but still Jac: the only comfort is that Isabelle is doing fine despite it all, despite what I feel I had a massive hand in, even if I didn't do it myself, or know it would be done Savannah: ^^ Savannah: & there's a degree of comfort in all our siblings clearly coping better than us Savannah: not that it would be very difficult to raise the bar there Jac: Seriously Jac: I mean, I try to take comfort in it Jac: not just feel jealous and bitter, not a good look, I know Savannah: me too, even though it also makes my heart sink how my sister viewed me & how far from the truth it was Jac: You didn't just put up the front for yourself, you were protecting her from knowing how you really felt, when there was already so much for her to cope with, even if she did well Jac: which is far better than what I did, not that it's a competition or I'm trying to tell you you did perfectly Savannah: but now that's a dialogue I can never open back up because I was lying Savannah: she can never know that when it's exactly what both our parents did Jac: Never say never Jac: beyond that aphorism, I doubt you know everything about her thoughts and feelings, it's normal to have that barrier at the time Jac: things are easier to discuss after the fact, when you've both got a degree more clarity, removed from the !!! of things when they're happening Jac: as much of a hypocrite as that makes me to say, because I've started no such conversations myself Jac: but Sienna adores you as much as you her, and not because she thinks you're perfect, but because you're her big sister Savannah: we definitely both know that better than most, there's reasons why I deleted every conversation I began with you then & I'm not censoring myself now Savannah: don't worry, I'm not going to insist you have a heart to heart with Jude or any of the others Jac: ^^ Jac: The amount of times I went to say, everything I could possibly say, pour my heart out to you, that that felt like exactly the right thing to do Jac: then had to go distract myself with whatever wrong thing Jac: I have talked to Jesse, a bit Jac: more recently, too Savannah: I'm sorry that the timing was all wrong for me to be able to listen to or express any of it, but I'm ready now, I promise Savannah: for everything you could possibly say Savannah: including that you've told your brother about me Jac: No, it wouldn't have been right to do it that way Jac: like it wasn't right to just, kiss you Jac: it felt it but we weren't ready for any of it, it might seem like I was, just because I knew how I felt about you, but so much else was confused and yeah, it wasn't, I wasn't Jac: you aren't mad? Jac: obviously they've all seen you're here too now Jac: but I've not gone into any kind of meaningful detail with the rest of them Savannah: It's okay, I'm glad you've had someone to talk to Savannah: I know this week has been confusing too, that I must have made it confusing for you Jac: In a good way Jac: obviously, I'm so glad to have you back in my life Jac: I didn't think we'd ever get closure either Jac: and I had more trouble making peace with that than just about anything else Savannah: thank god I didn't go on that gap year Jac: You were thinking about it? Savannah: originally we were going together, Milo & I, so it would've been more of an undertaking to go alone, but I thought you wouldn't want to see me, so Jac: That makes sense Savannah: Putting us in different years was as much distance as I could give you without like uprooting my entire future, it seemed like a good idea Savannah: obviously it therefore stands to reason that my dad said no Jac: Was going to say, surprised your dad agreed to that plan at any point Savannah: he was somewhat distracted by his new girlfriend Jac: Of course Jac: #1 priority 'til you're not Jac: what's Sienna's plan for next year? Savannah: she's struggling to decide which uni she should go to Savannah: maybe she'll take a gap year, that'd be so typical Jac: Yep, Jude and Jameson get away with murder in comparison Savannah: It would unfair even if he was any kind of decent father, but how he believes he can lecture me as things currently are, I have no idea Jac: A lot of people are, not happy to live the mess their life is in, but are happy to be willfully blind to it Jac: it's easier than making changes, especially when you're a part of the problem Savannah: he's called me every day that I've been here, like, we're not bringing this into my new life, thank you Jac: That's too much Jac: designated a day(s) and time and don't answer any other time, he'll have to learn to respect it Savannah: he has literally NO boundaries for someone who shut the door on us & walked away until he was forced to come back in Jac: it's a control thing Jac: but where was his authority when it would have actually benefitted you, re. everything with your mum, why wasn't he laying down the law then? Jac: only when it benefits him and makes him feel better about himself Savannah: exactly, I'm beyond tired of it Savannah: he made those 2 years so much worse than they already would've been Savannah: I'm obviously not going to insist that all the blame for Milo lands squarely on his shoulders but if I had a home that I felt comfortable spending time in, I wouldn't have needed to be at his as often as I was Savannah: which really didn't help me process anything that I should've been Jac: It definitely was a factor Jac: I know how that feels too Jac: not wanting to be home Jac: but not wanting to be out of the house either because that was just as bad in different ways Jac: I see the appeal of having somewhere to be Savannah: I knew you'd understand Savannah: I'm so happy to have you to talk to again Jac: Obviously I don't love that for you, that you had to do that Jac: but I, again, know the feeling Savannah: It's what I've always done, with Ty & you too Savannah: I missed your house the most though, it was my favourite place to land Savannah: even if none of your siblings liked having me there 😄 Jac: Said as if Jude's friends aren't the most annoying people in the world Savannah: there's so many of them Jac: Yeah, she'd invite any old stray home Savannah: that sounds like a caffeine headache to me Savannah: I don't know how she does it Jac: She doesn't do a whole lot of anything else, that's why Savannah: who's she dating? Jac: your guess is as good as mine Savannah: okay, that sounds like an entirely different headache Savannah: at least some things have stayed the same Jac: I wouldn't know, really Jac: it's not like that, me and my siblings Jac: well, it hasn't been Savannah: I'm sorry for how much of that is my fault Savannah: because I hurt you Jac: I'm not going to put all the blame onto your shoulders, either Jac: it isn't Savannah: but I know you & I knew what would happen Savannah: I didn't stop you from shutting down because I wanted everything to stop Savannah: when you kissed me it felt like the world should've, but it didn't Jac: I know Jac: it would've been so much more of a thing for you to go with it, to change what you were, or who you were seen as, at least Savannah: I was so in love with Ty & I wanted it to work so badly but I couldn't do it Savannah: I'd never failed before at something I'd been that determined about Savannah: It sounds so stupid to say at this point Jac: It's not Jac: but you know, I mean, at the risk of making it sound like I thought you were stupid, when it was probably so obvious and you did know Jac: I was trying to get him out the picture Jac: you didn't fail Savannah: if our relationship was strong enough you wouldn't have been able to Savannah: as I said, everything changed when I met you anyway Savannah: he wasn't stupid either Jac: Yeah Jac: as pointless as it is to say how we should've handled it Jac: I want you to know I hold myself accountable for what I clearly shouldn't have done, and you can too Savannah: we all did things that we shouldn't have done Jac: True Savannah: I forgive you and you can forgive yourself too Jac: It's hard, isn't it Jac: not to feel like I was the worst when my intentions are the only ones I can truly know Savannah: yes & I feel it too, all the time Savannah: but I've seen you at what you believe to be your worst & I still love you Jac: I love you too Jac: and forgive you, of course Jac: and anyone else who's forgiveness you need, or you want to be better with, we can work on it together, okay Savannah: okay Savannah: everything happens for a reason, right? I don't want to consider changing it if it means I won't end up here Savannah: painful as things have been & still are Jac: I think so Jac: if I didn't believe in fate before, this would've eradicated any doubt Savannah: tempting as it would be to say that I wish I'd just kissed you back in that hotel room, we might not be here together if I did Savannah: two years is kind of my limit apparently, so far at least 😄 Jac: No pressure, or anything Jac: we have to do at least the four at the same uni so Savannah: okay, you can dump me after that if you insist Jac: It's your turn Jac: and I never would so Savannah: well, I'm never going to leave you Savannah: not again, because technically I already did, which makes it your turn Jac: Okay, looks like we're staying with each other Savannah: if you EVER get here Savannah: I thought you were supposed to be running Jac: You'll have to stop talking, my love 😏 Savannah: you'll have to stop me