#and i havent talked about her so i guess it's fine to ramble!

[evelili]

As an immigrant child, your new fic had resonated with me. It made me tear up eating dinner with my family.

When Saffron said, “This selfish desperation to know that I haven’t lost my connection to my home." It instantly took me back to being constantly teased by my friends for not being 'in tuned' with my culture like how they were, or how I desperately tried speaking in my native tongue with my parents, despite having a very clear american accent and them constantly assuring me that speaking in english is fine. My grandmother had passed earlier this year, she was the grandparent that I knew the least. I started asking about her from her sisters as my mother isn't in the state to answer anything, I've tried so hard to pick up the pieces of what her sisters have told me to construct an image of her personality. She used to constantly ask me to call her so when I read about Saffron talking about how video calls have were never the same and never enough, it hit me like a load of bricks.

Your fanfiction is so tremendously beautiful in describing the feelings I have felt all my life. How I know that where I am right now isnt home, but my actual home has been so unfamiliar after my grandmothers passing. I have constantly felt like I have disappointed her, so when Sunset confessed to the same thing, I couldn't hold my emotions in anymore. The ending with Saffron talking about how she would be waiting for Sunset to come home if she was her mother made hope that was true with me and my grandmother, if I were to ever reunite with her again when I pass away myself.

Thank you so much for writing this story. It was the most comfortable yet intense stories I have ever had the blessing to read. I am sorry for rambling and I hope this entire message makes some sort of sense? I hope whatever you're dealing with gets solved to the way you have hoped it would.

You have also made me see dal in a new light, it was never a food that I used to like, but I am willing to give it another shot lol

i looked at this ask earlier and had to take some time to process how to respond to this. i think tho i still dont really know how to, so i hope thats ok!

first of all, thank you so much for being comfortable enough to tell me ur story. it really means a lot that you would open up to me, a stranger, and the fact that you did so bc something i made had an impact on u quite actually moved me to tears. im a bit of a soggy mess rn lol. thank you again, truly.

second, i want to express my empathy for you and your situation with your grandmother. my grandad passed away before i could graduate, and it was during the height of lockdowns, so i hadnt seen him in a while. i didnt go to visit him in the hospital, so theres always this feeling of "what if i had called more? what if i had tried harder to visit? what if i spent more time with him?" that doesnt really go away. and, as a kid of 2 immigrant families, i can also really empathize with feeling a disconnect from your culture--when ur not surrounded by ur parents culture but u also visibly dont look like ur "from" the one u were raised in, it can feel really alienating, even though you havent done anything except just. exist in this sort of inbetween?

all of this i guess is to say that, i put a lot of my own experiences into this fic. and it's almost relieving in a way to know that u saw what i put there, and that this experience is something that other people have felt as well. thank you so very much again for reading ;v;

[polyamorousmood]

hi! i'd love to get some sympathy/advice/etc from other ppl about this. so long story short my girlfriend (wonderful amazing great i am so happy with her) has a boyfriend, and i at first their rs was meant to be ephemeral, but then things changed and they realized they could make a longform commitment work out, so they tried! problem is, during the trial run, the guy realized poly wasnt working for him and he failed to communicate this well, so it caused a situation where he was very much just fishing for my partner to get in a closed rs with him. when she expressed how hurtful and wrong that was, he apologized and changed his behavior and after some more various ups and downs we've now settled into a pretty good situation where he's giving polyamory a serious try and seems sincerely committed to making it good! i trust my gf wholeheartedly and i want nothing but the best for them both, and for that brief period of time where it was ok we even had 3person dates and really special interactions, so i came to sincerely like guy a decent bit and i am cautiously but sincerely optimistic. however, by having to admit shit to himself, he's now of the mind that he'd like a much more segmented-off rs with my partner, which is fine, but also the resentment he felt towards not being able to have my gf all to himself made him lose his positive feelings towards me and now he expresses a (his words) 'goodwilled indifference' and we havent even Talked since he tried to effectively ultimatum my gf out of being poly. and that is just SO hurtful when i know i did absolutely nothing wrong to warrant the loss of what i felt was a genuinely precious and positive connection, and like, the first time ive had the chance to have a metamour! like as someone who really cares about learning how to admit fault i really cannot stress enough how much i didnt do jack shit here i was just vibing and trying to be nice and now it's just this sad thing i have to deal with. i know it has everything to do with his own preferences and insecurities and nothing to do with me, but i still feel a big child-like sense of betrayal and injustice and it makes me want to be mean and bitter and defensive ("well if you dont give a shit about me and wanna pretend i don't exist, then im gonna do the same! how do you like that, huh?" type beat). i know those feelings are to be worked with and worked through instead of acted upon, but it's still hard :-( i dont really miss *him*, really, i just miss not being in a polycule that has a member who struggles so much with polyamory. and though i trust her deeply, i am still sad and worried that this is a precarious situation that can end up hurting my partner and hampering her ability to feel free and happy in polyamory, which only adds to my mistrusting of the guy. anyone else in a similar situation, havin' to work with a poly-newbie metamour or something similar? im not crazy for getting bad vibes, despite my best hopes for them? thank you either way, i dont know enough poly people irl and ive been bursting with this shit for a bit so it helps even to just ramble it out

Yeah, I've been in similar places. Just putting the read more immediately because I don't have a good pithy introduction. But uh, TL;DRI guess? 🤷‍♀️: its totally fair for you to struggle with some negative feelings. But you are still in it together (even if he's pretending you don't exist) and the only way to the other side is through.

Its shitty, its exhausting, its infuriating. And it's all the more frustrating that you like... don't even WANT to be mad at him cause he DID apologize and now he IS trying to change the shitty parts, so you WANT to encourage that. Feels very

And it puts your mutual partner in the tough spot of having to balance⚖️ things between you two if he's unwilling to talk to you. And like, you're stuck waiting for him to come around, you can't even really DO anything, its all on HIM to prove he's not going to be an asshole forever.

And you kinda resent him for causing this much trouble basically all on his own! And then thinking he can still get all the good shit after stirring the pot! Like he tried to break you up and now you have to be the bigger person?? What kinda bullshit--

Fucking. Sucks.

I do have some advice, though as with most things, its not magic 🪄

🤬Be mad for a little bit! Allow yourself to feel it. You're not gonna wallow 🐖there, but let it hit you full force how much you dislike being in this bullshit situation. Maybe have a cry about it or throw some darts at his picture 🎯. Then, and only then,

Set it aside. Set the anger aside in your mind, set the situation aside in your discussions. Say "yup, sucks. Moving on..." and enjoy the good parts of your life.

As part of that, remember polyamory is a big ask for people who've never done it before. Him even just politely ignoring you is likely, in his mind, him compromising on everything he's believed in for years and the fundamentals of what his life will look like. That's a big deal. It's hard to do after there was previously a higher standard set, but try to give him some credit for that anyway. (Again. You are probably going to have to Be Mad first to be able to do this. That's okay. Don't skip ahead.)

I don't think having approximately the same attitude back is necessarily a bad strategy. Maybe don't do it with the petulance you presented in the ask 😝 but if you're able to just gently, non-judgmentally accept neutrality as a mode of operating with him... might save you a lot of trouble honestly🤷. Warmth is great and all, but I think it runs the risk of you burning out and feeling greater resentment down the line if it stays one sided (but you know yourself better than I do, so if you can handle it, power to you).

Know your feelings about this really well. Know what you're good with 👍, know what bothers you but you're willing to do for the good of the polycule😖, and know what really upsets you👎. Is this something you can make work long term? What changes would you need to have it work long term (including progress from him, accommodations from your partner, etc)?

Consider confronting him directly. You'll know better if that's actually a good idea in this situation than I will, but consider it. It may help you move past things to air your feelings, it may help him understand you better and vice versa, and it may lay the groundwork for a more functional relationship down the line. I must admit bias here. It is VERY important to me that things can be relaxed with my metas. The idea of refusing to engage with me feels like they're refusing to engage with the very concept of polyamory, and I that cannot work in my life - like, I run a poly blog you can guess how I value polyamory 😂 If you can be comfortable with something closer to parallel polyamory, this may be unnecessary.

And of course, through all of this, you have to talk to your partner. All of it. If you have a tendency to martyr yourself so as not to stress your partner out, overpower that tendency for this one. You are NOT doing your partner any favors by doing bottling it up. 🍾

For example, earlier I said your partner is going to have to balance things between you and your meta. It may be tempting to think you can spare her some of that by shrinking your feelings and needs, so maybe you'll just bite your tongue. However, she has to do the work anyway, and forcing her to work with incomplete information actually makes the balancing that much harder. While you shouldn't harp on them about it, she should know where you're at in all this. You owe your partner the ability to make informed decisions, and your happiness and ability to sustain a certain set-up is going to be an important factor to them! Tell them your misgivings, tell them if its going to take you some time to forgive him his bullshit, tell them if you are okay with something in the short term but don't know if you can spring it long term, tell them if you need a break from thinking about the whole damn situation. (And of course, as always, tell your partner when something feels good or is going well 😊)

It can be recovered. It will require patience. Hang in there. 🤗 I admire your commitment to figuring it out, and it sounds like you have a splendid partner who is just as committed to making it workable. I'm rooting for you all 💙💖🖤

[crguang]

ahajsksbywpqp sat guess who has 2 tests in the same week in the same class next week. Not very fun for me. anyway I was think abt Kafka (honestly when am I not is the real question). See if it wasn’t Kafka in ur au and I was r I would definitely turn her in for the money, but I unfortunately think I might like Kafka just like a little bit ig so I don’t think k would be able to do that .

Reread part 3 today is her fingers twitching bc she wants to shoot something or is it just bc Kafka and her fingers. Ok thats not what I meant but also…what I meant was that she works with her fingers a lot I wish she used them on me instrument, guns, etc. we still haven’t gotten an in game Kafka appearance w an actual violin, it probably won’t happen but I’m still holding out. And she’s the highest threat level possible for a criminal but she STILL commits petty theft. She is so I saw someone say that the stellaron hunters were all siblings, Kafka and blade are like the older siblings that have to drive/pay for everything, silver wolf is the gamer (so original) and firefly is the youngest. Wish they had more in game interactions, or like they had synergy, meta wise, since canonically they’re one of the most tight knit groups.

oh also your inbox must be full as fuck so it’s fine if you don’t reply to everything, esp bc you answer a lot of stuff, and even tho someone already said this ur rlly great to talk to ur thoughts are always more coherent than mine. And we all get to simp over hot fictional women together.

ngl I might start playing ptn, like I’ve been seeing screenshots and…wow, I don’t think I have enough storage tho. I think the two types of characters I usually like are tiny mentally ill ones and hot evil women, so…

im so sorry my messages are always so long btw, I keep rambling 😭

-🌠

aaaa study well and good luck for your tests!!! hope you get a good grade and if u dint i will hack i to your prof’s computer and change it for you

im with you entirely, if it was anyone else in that story i wouldve already called the cops LMFAOOO kafka gets privileges because shes hot and my fav unfortunately… for the finger thing, i think its just one of her quirks! in her idle she mimics playing the violin and like you said she has very dexterous hands (even mentions it in a voice line) so i think she’d absentmindedly move them around when her mind is elsewhere. this is the kind of overthinking i was talking about, when i map out a character in my head i think about the most irrelevant stuff that dont matter😭 but imo they add to her charm a little and make her a rounder character, idk. AND YES i love that her crimes go from suicide inducement to petty theft shes so ridiculous hfjfhdhfj that time in her character story where she just walked in a store and took clothes off the rack then left in front of everyone… shes funny as hell😭

i see the SH as family too! silver wolf and firefly are sisters to me, and both of them are def kafka’s little sisters. i think silver wolf is the youngest though, she even gives off sassy youngest child vibes. i wish they could work together too, having them all in one team would be so nice. but it’s also cool that each of them has a speciality, it makes sense for the work they do

my inbox is full i think i have around 70 asks rn…😭 but to be fair a lot of them are veryyy old i just havent gotten around to cleaning up my blog yet, i’ll do it at the same time i change my masterlist and actually make it pretty to look at. i usually try to click on notifs as soon as i see them but like i said, i just forget to type my answers </3

and omg. anon. if your type is mentally ill and hot evil women ptn is literally the game for you. there is an abundance of mentally ill women in there, trust me… like there’s every kind of character you could want in that game— you could give me a specific type and i could find you a character that matches it, you should definitely play. and if you do, do it before the second anniversary ends (starts around mid/late-october) bc trust me you are gonna be upset if you miss shalom :/

dont worry abt ramblingggg i love talking to u and answering every point it’s really nice!!

[anemonet]

oh my god thats so sweet of you!!!! thank you :DD also super sorry for deleting your ask btw

To get down to business well uh iterators huh, so I can tell you have read some of my ramblings before (very fun) and I will say in general I stand by those ideas - model differences and stuff - with some smaller changes here and there, for instance I made pebbles antennas stupidly long cause I think it looks funny - plus tons of tiny refinements, but generally I dont have too much to add unless theres something specific your wondering about - so I wont focus to much on that. Instead I'm gonna chat a bit about the other stuff you mentioned (NSH and wire headwear) ^-^ so heres the guys! (I'm gonna expand a bit on their design designs)

Ok so you have actully managed to point out something I really hoped no one would notice, which is that I never draw No Significant Harrasment (NSH) - who I hope you meant when you asked about sig, if not then dont look at me - and that is because I despise him with my whole heart. Or well, his design, the character is fine but I cannot draw this guy, I hate his colour scheme and his stupid little cape and why is his head symbols green on green - who allowed this - and in general we are not friends, which is a pity because I have alot of headcanons about him. But as you can see above I have semi settled on a design for him (note the semi, I am not super happy about it) and I do have some toughts and explanations.

So first of, I put NSH as being from the same model generation as suns - so predecessing moon and pebs by a bit - with older designs that have a larger focus on "religious stuff" combined with the anchients overall bonkers fashion sense - more is more - if you wanna read more about that its in this post about suns.

- I would also, this is a side note btw, like to mention I think having them being older models gives room to have some key differences between the oldies (NSH and suns) and the youngsters-ish (moon and pebs) in that one, they have older machinery and also early machinery which means both rougher quality and more wear and tear - which I like to think give them both the idea of slugcats as messangers earlier than most, as they knew their easily damaged functions (broadcast masts for example) would not last forever, which gives them a reason to want to solve it (by breeding scugs I guess) and added onto that I - and this is pure headcanon and speculation - like to imagine a lot of the "taboos" that pebbles and moon have - or well that I speculate they have, the no killing yourself or harming citizens taboo is confirmed canon, but I dont think its farfetched to asume they have other restrictions programmed - something that would most likely be added in later modles, but would be absent in the earlier ones like suns and NSH (not the earliest models but early) which theoreticly would give them a bit more leeway and "creative freedom", which ok why am I talking about this back to why NSH looks like that. -

Back to that, so suns and NSH will share design similarities: lack of face (to represent a lack of ego), lots of robes and layers, which leads us into the slightly more relevant sidenote of iterator clotheing:

So fashion comes and goes in cycles, your mom rebeled against her grandmothers clothing choises and is horrified when that fashion comes back via her daughter who think it looks cool again (20 year old rule or whatever) and that also applies to iterator design (look at that old suns ask for more info on this). So while I have talked about general trends a little, now I wanna talk about waistlines - in robes, because I have wanted an exscuse to talk about it, I be brief promise!

: so like you probably havent noticed all my iterators have different waistlines, or at least the ones from different generations - ignore moon, I'm a no robe for moon beliver, I like to draw joints and wires to much to give her robes - and I will sadly report I have not looked to closely at actual anchient fashion for the choises I made, but well cant have everything. So the most notable is probably pebbles, where I, ok Imostly fell for temptation of a modern highwaist cut, which while moslty being about my own tatse, also is an atempt to convey some form of "modernity" because while its a bright orange robe on a robot, it has a similar cut to highwaisted jeans. Which gives the silhoute from a couple years ago with a big bulky upper body and stick legs. But pebbles isnt intresting in that way, no its because every other design is a resistence against that.

And this again leads into the cycles of fashion. Because we know iterators were built under many cycles - however long those are - so we can asume it will be kinda like how fashion has changed from the 11th centrury to now. Which gives to reason that iterators have been dressed differently too. This added with that - from what I understood - different iterator cities (colonies) had different cultures (boradcast, red, in sky islands) all this then makes me kinda figure that the iterators should have different robes. Yes that was a long winded way to say that characters look different.

So back to waistlines and how their all anti pebbles robes - the most notable difference is of course suns, who has no waistline. They are not only without to create a bigger difference between them and pebbles, but to also lean a bit on - and this might not be the same for every culture - but on the general idea that older clothes were more "modest" or in this case, there are more layers and any hints of there being a body under there is desperatly covered. and that "modern clothes" have less layers and have show more skin - not that pebble is showing skin, but hes wearing one robe instead of seven. So with that the idea that suns is older is conveyed a little bit at least, and the same then applies to NSH. NSH while also having lots of layers, is different from suns by having an empire waistline, mostly because I think their cute and need them to look different, but also to give a hint that they have different city fashion cultures and also because when I see empire waists i think old paintins and old paintings=old.

-also while I'm on the subject of cultural differences between iterator facilities. Can we talk about how we only really get to see anchient society as its presented in moon and pebbles (shared?) facility. So really its very possible the whole aestetic is complelty different like five local groups away. Food for thought. -

So faceless and robe-rich is a similarity between suns and NSH, and I could mention many more, but I'm gonna restrain myself and only talk about headphones. As you can tell I - and most fanartist here - like to draw their antennas differently for all of them! which is also canon, but I also ignored canon so were gonna talk about it. Mostly the antennas give room for some fun mini details, like how moons look like wings or fins while suns are just sunbeams.

Anyhow so most people make NSH bald, me included, mostly because the super cool official art of him gives him no antennas (sad). I asume that means he works via bluetooth.

(I was about to start speculating about their headphones but that got to boring even for me so sorry if your super intrested in why iterators probably have headphones)

But I had a ulterior motive with bringing up the headphones - and not only to be able to point out moons antenna, which I delight in drawing - but also so that I can transition into the second part of this way to long response! itertors hairdos... wire-dos? basicly this \/

(im reusing my wip because these are a pain to draw so we use what we have - I coloured them in a bit for better oversight.)

(also I was gonna start talking about if iterators would actully do personalisations like this - as we can argue about if they concepulize themself as their puppets and see a meaning to decorating them - I would argue yes but also its complicated- and also explain how iterators have different prefernces, which I realised most people probably already asume so I didnt need to explain that - anyhow so that got to long so I'm not gonna get into it. Instead were gonna go into this section with the assumptions that they do fun things with their wires. and also that the wires connect to their nape and backhead instead of their back or spine.)

So to me th biggest thing to remember when we talk about potetial wire headwear is that:

- iterators live 24/7 without gravity and because of that cannot be bothered by to heavy headwear, therefore theres rooms for them and anchients (and me) to get funky with it without having to concider gravity.

-anchients wore absurdly many decorations - and while giving iterators flashy decorations does take away from my earlier statement that they were based on more humble monk stuff, we are going to asume they used the fancy headwear for cermonies and festivals (which we also know anchients did) and that it was used for showcasing and fun. If some iterators preffered to keep them afterwards is another query.

So with that in mind lets break these headwear thingies down!! :D

so as you can (hopefully) tell there three components in the headwear. The headphones that are different depending on iterator and are not removable (or as unremovable a computer part can be). Then theres the actual headpieces that keeps the wires togheter. These can be switched out and changed depending on whats preffered - also I drew them in gold but any material works, if were being closer to canon they would probably be made of some purposed organism and maybe be neon pink - theres also pearls dangling from them because its a perfect opertunity. Third theres probably the part I think is the most fun which is the actual wires. They obviously go through the headpieces and then are set free via wiretassles (that also comes in different forms) and after that is where my own speculations about wires comes in. Which is really simple in that iterators can most probably move the wires at will - they can control their arm thing, pearls and other objects in their chambers, reasonably they can move the wires - and I think its fun if different iterators move them differently. Like suns keeps them straight and neat, or pebbles moves them in syncronized formations or moon who just lets them hang, so many oppertunities ok ( you can see the general idea in the drawing). The wires then connect to their movement arms and connect to the mainframe.

And thats kinda about it? I dont have like anything super intresting to say about just the hairdos other than that I think its very fun and also that everyone is sleeping on wire customizations I am obbsessed with the idea send help.

Ok I think I'm done chatting!! Hope your still here and that this wasnt insufferable to read. Uh, thanks for the ask :D

(NSH for your enjoyment)

[smolcuriouskitten]

papers. our muses getting frisky in an office / work setting. - just smthn a lil spicy in bigby's office mayhaps :3 👀

God this was addictive. Bigby held his name well, the big bad wolf...He didnt disappoint and for a size queen, such as herself, loving things much bigger than her, she wanted to keep him close by.

"And YOU god dammit you are so fucking mean! Why did you yell at that poor lady?! She was just trying to get an autograph! I cant believe you-" She rambles on and on about how disappointed she was with Bigby. This experience would have been fine if he didnt try to grab a woman who worked for her.

Bigby on the other hand was just annoyed at this point. He was tired of being yelled at by this woman who he could crush under him so easily. And here she was, yelling at him all the way through the walk to his office. Damn, does she ever shut up?

"-And are you even listening to me?! I swear you dont listen to me at all, my dog Kimchi listens to me better than you do and I-" Enough. He grabs her and presses her against his desk as soon as they enter into the office. "You talk alot. You dont ever shut up do you?" He asks and she was now red and flustered, looking up at him. "I fuss if something isnt in order! How dare you tell me to shut up?! You are so mean!" She starts to fuss until he squeezes her hips making her squeal and melt.

"You were saying?" Bigby asks with a shit eating grin on his face. "Oh...Shut up!" She fusses and hides her face in his chest, letting out a soft sigh. "You looked stressed out tonight. I been your punching bag all week." He asks, gently moving her chin to look up at him. "I...I..." She looks up at him and chews her lip, averting her gaze. "I...I feel so strange...I feel like so...pent up..I guess would be the right word? I never..felt like this before." She responds and Bigby nods. "You need a release?" He shortly asks and she nods.

"Can...Can we...Um..Can you.." She mumbles, unable to find the words and Bigby chuckles. "You need to be fucked again dont you?" He asks and she squeals with a frantic nod, covering her face. "Yes but oh god you make it sound so...so...dirty when you say it." She whines and he gently moves her hands from her face. "It will sound even better in your ears." He said with a grin, sliding his hands down her hips to hold the hem of her shirt, looking for her consent as she nods to let him strip her.

As soon as the shirt hit the floor, they both kiss, Rocky's hips leaning against the desk. They briefly break the kiss for him to lift her up on the desk, he pushes everything over. "Bigby your paper- Mmf-" He rushes to kiss her again which she gently holds onto his hair and wraps her legs around his hips. "Fuck those papers." He growls, his finger running along the hem of her jeans before he unbuttons them and pulls them down along with her underwear.

In the meantime, Rocky was unbuttoning his shirt, running her hand along his hairy chest. A soft growl left his lips as she giggles pushing the shirt off his shoulders, next unbuttoning his pants. "Aht. I got that." He gently pushes her hand away, pressing a hand to her chest for her to lean down on the desk. He starts to kiss down to her neck, leaving marks all over and his hand upped over her pussy. "God...I havent even touched you yet and you are already soaked." He teases making her shiver and cover her face.

"Oh shut up.." She whimpers as he rubs her clit with his thumb, kissing down to her collarbones and biting along them, slowly pushing his fingers inside of her for more friction. "You missed this didnt you?" Bigby asks and Rockelle nods as she moans, hearing the sound of her wetness echoing in the room. "I cant hear you." He continued, now sucking on her nipple, his tongue clicking the surface making her whimper and moan.

"I...I did...I missed this so much." She responds, her back arching as he pumps his fingers inside of her, her eyes rolling back into her head. "Good girl." He quickly comes up to give her a kiss and look her in the eye as he moves them faster, gently holding her face. "You want more?" He asks as she whines and nods. "Ah ah...Use your words." He commanded and curls his digits inside of her. "Oh...oh god! Yes yes please I want more please!" She shudders, her legs starting to shake.

And just like that, he went down on her, devouring her juices and continuing to pump his fingers inside of her. "Oh god! Bigby! Yes yes yes!" She screams, her legs locking around his head as she arches her hips off the desk, cumming into his mouth. He groaned and pushes his fingers deeper to oversimulate her a bit making her scream even louder and her legs shook. "You arent done until I say you are. Come on...I know you have more for me." He mumbles, gently pressing down on her lower abdomen.

"AAAH! B-bigb-by that f-feels str-stra-strange oh GOD!" She screams again, his fingers hitting her g-spot continuously. "Thats right...let it out.." And just like that, she snaps into another orgasm, this time, she was a fountain. He drinks down her juices, looking down at her face frozen in ecstas, her eyes still rolling to the back of her head as she shook and convulsed. He gently held her in place so she didnt roll off the desk.

After a few moments, she then sat up briefly as she held Bigby's arm. "Oh...Oh god...My head is spinning. That felt so good, thank you so much." She mumbles, her voice much softer and quiet than earlier. He chuckles and presses a kiss to her forehead. "Was that everything you needed?" He asks, Rockelle scrunching her nose and shaking her head. "No. I want you inside of me too." She demands, pressing a kiss to his lips before getting off the desk and bending over.

"Someones in a good mood." He smacks her ass and she giggles. "You made me this way." She hums as he presses his covered member against her ass making her grind it. "Come on...you know I dont like teasing Bigs..." She whines and he chuckles. "Oh I know. This ass is just so nice, I had to admire it." He pulls his pants down, tossing them elsewhere.

"Ya know, I thought the myths werent true...about the big...bad wolf...but I am glad you hold true to your name. You are...Very big." She praises as he presses the head of his dick against her pussy. "And you will come to learn, theres not a thing small about me darlin." He continued, pressing himself inside of her, a soft gasp left her lips and a groan left his.

[wambsgansshoelaces]

HEY GIRL OMG I HAVENT CHECKED ON YOUR BLOG IN LIKE SOOO LONG I MISSED YOU

this is all so irrelevant but I finished school like a week ago so I'm like free forever (I'm doing externals next year so like this is my last period of freedom before becoming an academic slave to the education system)

Also hallway crush update. So like 2 weeks ago on a random Saturday I wake up and I get a notification on Instagram and its a message from him and so obviously I'm like dying and dead and decomposing and so I wait 17 minutes and I finally open it and it's this dumb fucking reel of this girl with a dog and he was like "look, it's you" (he uses punctuation over text which okayyy come here you cuteass nerd) now obviously I have no idea what the fuck that means, is he saying I look like a dog??? (Keep in mind this is the first time we've ever texted so huhhh) and so I'm like "bro what 💀" and he says that he meant the GIRL and not the dog. Which okay, yeah, that makes sense. But then again we literally do NOT talk. Like EVER. The most contact we've had before then was all the post-exam debriefs where my friends and his friends are talking about wether the answer to question 18 is 3.5 or 3.6 (we go to a "gifted" school so really we're all just a bunch of nerds) ANYWAYS NOT THE POINT. the point is that this was all so fucking random. Also the girl does NOT look like me. I asked some of my friends and even my mom and they all said that she does though so 💀 anyways I tell him that I don't really see it and he goes "look in the mirror. She could be your sister" and so at this point I am dumbfounded by this man's nonexistent texting skills and im like "well maybe she is ill have to check" and bro LEAVES ME ON READ 💀💀 which totally sucks but like it's fine I guess. Now I do have an issue here and that is that there's this girl in his class and I do think that he may be into her. My friends from his class say that they talk all the time and I see how he is around her, then again she DOES have a boyfriend (and a reputation of stringing every single breathing male along) but I'm worried that he likes her 😔😔 ANYWAYS I do hope that we're in the same class next year 💀💀

Fuck I've been rambling for so long I'm sorry this is literally a fucking newspaper 💀💀

AAANNYYYWAYS HAVE A GREAT NIGHT/DAY QUEEN AND EID MUBARAK BYEEEE

AAAAA I MISSED YOU OMGGGG

don’t even worry I love reading these leave whatever you want in my ask box I love it 🫶🏽

I read all of it and girl idk I’m just gonna say he likes u because we manifest here >:( I have no idea how relationships or anything work LMFAO but I do think ur both cutie patootie together bc like he’s trying even though he’s not chronically online and that the universe will make things right and u’ll get together and fireworks and everything JDJANFNFN but seriously I believe in u I hope ur summer is sosososo good and that u guys hang out or something !!!! go get ur mans bae ily stay safe smooch

[silverwarewolf]

bruce and dr. facilier for Alexandro Beloved, lelouch for aster, mor'du for ann? :3

Of course! Thank you so much for asking. (I'm also working on the oc advice, dw about that)

This is the ask game for anyone who wants to send in a question!

BRUCE: How likely are their chances of a successful redemption arc?

Alexandro beloved is a tragic antagonist. Once a loving father and husband, stripped away of his family by a disaster. Once a knight at the service of the Azure Kings, stripped away of his position by fault of a prophecy. Currently an assassin after Ivan's head, unbeknownst to him he's the baby prince he once swore to protect.

And later? Fated to a duel with Emilia, fierce when it comes to protecting her family, and a deadly opponent.

Considering all of this, and as much as it pains me to say, i don't think we're going to get a happy ending for him. A redemption arc? Sure, we get to understand him and have some compassion, he'll be forgiven and remembered fondly. At least by Emilia and Kate. But it's much likelier to end in tragedy, like, a 70% chance of it I'd say.

(however, this whole book is about me surprising every reader, me included. I haven't planned out the very ending nor even his duel with Emilia, so i can probably whip something up)

DR FACILIER: How far are they willing to go to get what they want?

As far as it takes, to be honest. He's got nothing to lose! He lost his family! His kingdom! His found family! His sense of belonging when he became a monster! He'll do whatever.

Which is why he's evenly matched with Emilia when they duel. Neither of them desire to kill the other, they just have to stop them temporarily. For protection or for duty, either way.

Key word, it has to be something he wants.

However, if Alexandro fails, Ann will be after him, so that's a worry he has. If she does, though, as strong as she is, she can't overpower a monster so easily. So although it's a way to manipulate him into working for her, he knows that at the end of the day, if he fought for his life, he'd probably win. So yep, he's pretty much uh ... Unhinged? Ruthless?

He'll do whatever to get what he wants, is my point, but he's very much capable of restraint.

LELOUCH: Does your antagonist ever regret their actions?

Oh dear. You've chosen probably the best question for Aster.

Short answer, not really. She's like Alexandro but with Murderous Intent and a Grudge that outweighs restraint.

Long answer (and very vague because this is Unplanned Prequel territory). She lived when the world thrived in sorcery and magic in a very different way than it does now. And when she was a kid she was rather excellent at it, because of talent and practice and like, some sort of internal need to be the best. To use her magic to help the world.

Alas, time goes on and she realizes her magic is a bit different from everyone else's. You know, casting a perfectly controlled fire tornado but being unable to hold a fireball correctly. Changing runes to perfect her spells. Using unconventional ingredients and eyeballing potion recipes. Casting sorcery no one had ever been able to imagine.

And they weren't impressed or grateful. They were horrified of her.

Reduced to an ominous witch, banned from several kingdoms. She fled to the woods and met the kings of the Goose Throne, who were accepting of her skills. She taught some people and wrote down her knowledge, tomes upon tomes that could revolutionize magic.

But then the king broke their pact, and didn't stop the other monarchs from coming after her. Grave mistake, for that was the droplet that toppled over the glass. Taken everything from her, threatening the students she still cared about, cornered through every last part of the planet, she cursed everyone.

She cursed the desert, and the poles, and the forests, and the heavens. That whenever someone would be born sharing her birthday, as the moon eclipsed the two suns at once, she would return and the world would be destroyed. And then she vanished.

Or so the story says.

After all, she couldn't really overpower the royal amulets. Not yet. But a few years ago, twins were born in the same day she did, and one of them is after the other's head to prevent the world from ending.

So i don't think she regrets doing what she did so much as she laments that she never got the chance to be herself, to live the wish she always thought she would be granted once she grew up.

MOR'DU: How are they different/similar to the hero?

Well she and Ivan are twins so they're very similar!

Just kidding.

I guess their greatest similarity is how determined they are to save those they care about. Ann swears on her parents' grave that she'll save the world no matter what, and became quite a decent queen, murders aside. Ivan pretty much had to flee on a day's notice, and yet he's picked up new skills to keep Gene and Kate safe.

(a bit ironic that both of them are objectively stronger than Ivan. However they're not running on that adrenaline rush that boosts their performance so i guess they're pretty on par, though Ivan gets Tired)

And the most relevant difference is that Ivan is willing to go with the flow of things more easily. If he found out he was prophesized to destroy the world, he'd be like "how? why? no i won't" and keep living on. Ann, as seen in canon, will freak out and plan every last detail until she can assure things will be alright.

This also means Ivan is willing to read the forbidden tomes of Taylor's library to disprove the prophecy while Ann scoffs at the idea.

[jungkooqs]

wack !

[pastell0v3]

pinned post remake. again.

IMPORTANT: 18+ accounts do not interact with the following:

most tbhk x readers (theyre k i d s)

all warriors of hope x readers (i love them and its fine bc im a k i d (EDIT: WHEN I SAY KID I DONT MEAN RLLY YOUNG I MEAN LIKE TEENAGER DONT ATTACK ME-), but 18+ dont interact with those!)

heeeelllooooo! im Lily (irl), but please call me "Odd" or "Horizon!" I also go by the names of characters i kin/am, they are listed below <3

i am a minor, 18+ users/blogs ask to follow or simply do not interact

i am an artist, writer (and i hope to make my own stories when im older!!), i also create xenogenders + neopronoun ideas!

i go by she/her/hers/herself, gli/glitch/glitches/glitchself, bun/bunny/bunnies/bunnyself (she/her most preferred but i still do go by the others)

i love rottmnt, tmnt 2012, batim, cuphead, danganronpa, ddlc, undertale + deltarune (fun fact, ut/dr is what got me onto the internets!), babtqftim and way more

i kin ibuki mioda, berdly, noelle holiday susie (deltarune), jataro kemuri, (probably) muffet the spider, (probably) alphys, (probably) mettaton, (probably) allison pendle/angel, donatello

in around 2020 was when i made my first account online i think- i know i know, not a long time. anyways, i believe I made that account on quotev.com (i had a roblox account from 2018 or 2019 but I'm not counting that). like i said, undertale was what got me interested in the internet and knowing lore of shows and games etc. it was the first thing I was really drawn to- it didnt get me many friends but i still loved it, i just felt lonely at times because even my crush at the time wasnt that interested in it, and even now I feel like my bestie(s) feel forced to like what i like (i mean, i turned a girl who loves hello kitty into fnaf fan!). same with my past crush, i always talked about what i loved but to be fair, he was the same.. when i figured out deltarune was a thing, i was. in. LOVE. though it kinda had a negative effect on me because i had roleplayed as susie online a bunch and that ruined my personality.. but i guess it also helped me find who i really am, so thats good (it was to the point i was sure i washer and i would get upset if someone dressed as her or roleplayed as her on roblox- and before this i had something similar with chara where i thought i was them and then this person i knew said he was sands and thought that would make me like like him. like bro. you cough in my face 24/7 i aint gonna have a crush on you.)

but anyways, ill stop rambling hehe

i write for...

danganronpa (all characters besides woh unless reader is a kid or its platonic. includes monokuma/cubs + monomi/usami but theyre gijinkas and the cubs aren't rlly young (like they'd be 17 or smth))

rottmnt (only donnie, Leo and mikey (im sorry id write for raph i rlly like him but idk how to write his character well..))

tmnt 2012 (donnie only- might be ooc bc i haven't finished much of the 2012 ver yet)

our life beginnings and always (cove, Jeremy (underrated smh), baxter (i dont rlly like him but ik how much yall do so 💖💖 ill suck it up), Shiloh (obvi older like bruh-)) (havent finished our life so sorry if its kinda ooc or sumthin)

fnaf (all sb, glitchtrap , fazbear frights humans 1-7 + humanoid versions of animatronics (fetch, eleanor, yellow thing (spring bonnie), ballora (nurse (or was it dentist..?) and ballerina vers are the same)), funtime foxy (performer + taxi(?) driver vers are the same))

undertale/Deltarune (susie, ralsei, kris, berdly, noelle, rouxls kaard, spamton, addisons, muffet, au sanses, mettaton)

mha (monoma neito, denki kaminari, yuga aoyama)

tbhk (sousuke mitsuba, hanako/amane yugi, kou minamoto, akane aoi (boy), ryujirou tsuchigomori, tsukasa yugi, natsuhiko hyuuga)

i can do..

fluff

headcanons

oneshots

scenarios

and mmore to be added !!!

[nayspy]

Yes, Maybe ,No : 6

Summary: When you have to move away with your family and you find a very nice surprise but it brings pain as much as it brings happiness. But is the happiness worth it??

Pairs: Peter parker(andrew)x reader

Series masterlist

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"How about a good morning?" I said.

"Good morning, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"Caroline,please don't yell right now." Mom exclaimed.

"Mom she is smiling it's weird. "

"Caroline."

"Sorry okay but I am used to her sulking around mom. She is humming songs like a musical is about to start and she is going to start dancing."

"I am sitting right here." I exclaim.

"Okay so why have you been smiling  past 3 to 4 weeks."

"I just am. No reason."

"You should bring this guy home honey. We can have like a family dinner with friends and family."

"What? How do you know it's a guy?" And she arches her brow 'do I look stupid?'

"I'll ask him."

I can't believe I have been on 3 dates with a guy . Parker is such a sweetheart and a gentleman. My soul hurts just thinking about him. Okay not really but that's besides the point. I think I am starting to like him. I mean I did a long while ago but like officially. I smile just thinking about the way he asked me out.

*The asking out sjhsh

Peter smiled at me and asked " So when are you going to go out with me ?"

" I don't know when are you going to ask me out?"I smirked.

Peter just stared at me mumbling a "ill be right back"

Wait what. What did I do wrong?

Shit should I not have said that.

"SO YOU RAN AWAY?" Gwen practically yelled at me.

"I DIDN'T THINK SHE WOULD SAY YESS!!"I yelled right back at her.

"But-"

I am just standing there thinking where the fuck did I go wrong.

And then Peter was back after a few minutes with Gwen.

"Can you repeat that again I want proof that you said yes!"

"Peter , oh you are so cute."

"WHY AM I HERE I DONT WANNA THIRD WHEEL YOU GUYS!"

"So how did you like it?" I ask her.

"I loved it."

"Wait is that Greg?" And I frown because idk who Greg is.

"Who?" "The guy from our school he is there we should go say hi!"

"Now why would we do that?" I ask her.

"Come on peter." "I'll be here."

And well now this Greg guy is sitting at our table.

"Well so yeah I got stood up."

"Yeah the same thing happened with us except for the part where she showed up."

"Peter!" She whisper yells.

"What it's true? I am sorry if you felt bad."

"No no it's okay , you guys are like the best couple other than the sex thing."

"What thing?" She frowns.

"You guys havent had sex."

"Whattt? How the fuck do you know that?"

"Everyone does." "But we never told anyone." She says.

"I mean I told a few guys I guess and the canteen lady. I don't know who could have snitched."

"I can't believe you just said that." She mumbles in disbelief as if it's my fault.

"You told Gwen." I remind her.

"She is our mutual friend Peter."

"So I am gonna go. Sorry" Says creg drew whatever

"It's fine Greg. Not your fault." Ah that's the name. And now she is not talking to me . Great.

"I can't believe people are talking about our sex life." I say as I change my clothes.

"What is there to talk about we barely have one?" Peter so stupidly pointed out. Gwen snorted on the other end of the phone call . "I'll call you later Gwen ." I sigh as I end the call. And turn to Peter.

"That's why they are doing it, Peter."

"Oh."

"Why would you tell people we haven't had sex."

"Because we haven't. "

"Ugh."

" I am sorry ok it's just that i am dating this beautiful girl and I can't stop rambling about it. I get it I shouldn't have told people."

I just mumble a yeah and sit on my bedside as he bends down to kiss my nose.

"Peter I am sorry I should not have gotten mad at you. I just I am not used to being in a relationship and everything going good. And I don't know . I just feel bad. I am sorry."

"It's okay baby."

"No no it isn't."

"Hey its okay come here."

He pulls me into his arms . And slowly cups my face . As he rests his forehead against mine. It feels good having someone.

As I slowly open my eyes and find those brown eyes looking into mine.

"I like you ."

"I like you too Peter."

As we both lean in and our lips touch and start moving in sync as if we that was the only thing they were made for.

As he slowly starts to back me against a wall. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah I wanted to for a while I just didn't know if you wanted to you know sleep with me."

And as a answer my lips capture his again.

He is freakishly strong by the way.

My back is against a wall. As he leans a forearm over the side of my head.

And taps my thigh as if on cue I wrap them around his waist. As he walks towards my bed and sits so I am straddling his thighs.

He starts undressing my shirt while still kissing him and I hold back a moan in my throat.

"Wow." He whispers as he realizes I am not wearing anything under the shirt.

"Mhmm" I start kissing his jawline. And slowly move down his neck and lean back and start taking his shirt off. As if he realized something I didn't he flips us over. So he is on top of me. "You good?" I ask him.

"Yeah sorry"

"It's okay."

"Just a second. I will be back "

But then just like that he is gone

[httpbread]

like like

pairing: mikaela hyakuya x reader

words: 3921

i havent written anything coherent in. some time. also this wasn’t a request but mika is my all time favorite character. my HEART requested this.

-

"Do you and (Y/n) have some weird staring contest that no one knows about except you?"

The question is so sudden, so out of the blue, that he looks away from the aforementioned soldier only to find himself squinting up.

His target takes a step to the side, blocking the sun from his view, but he still blinks a few times before he can clearly make out the boy.

"What on earth are you talking about?" despite no longer staring at the sun, this sight also makes his eyes narrow unhappily.

Much like the sun, Yuichiro smiles down at him brightly. Much more toothily. Though, thankfully, Yuu also didn’t make him burst into flames, which was also a plus in his book.

However, maybe not so much right now.

"You and (Y/n)," he says, his voice uncharacteristically low, further adding to Mikaela’s growing suspicion about this conversation, "What else?"

He says it so casually as if they were discussing no more than the weather. But Mikaela knew damned well this went deeper. A sense of deja vu padding in the from the corner of his mind.

So, albeit reluctantly, he leans over to the boy, but he doesn’t say anything at first. Instead, his ruby gaze leaves Yuu to return home where they had been and often were.

Thankfully, they’re none the wiser about what’s happening, still sitting a couple of yards away from them, their hands animatedly gesturing before them like their life depended on it as they explained something to the Hiragi settled across from them.

He says, very quietly to Yuu, "Did Shinoa put you up to this?"

To which, Yuu responds, just as hushed, "If I say yes will you still tell me?"

He fights back against the small upwards tug of his lips at his friends’ reliable antics as he sits up straight again. Always so honest.

"Mika?" Yuu quickly worries, his voice growing a little higher in pitch as he begins to clumsily backtrack, "I meant- no. Shinoa didn’t say anything. It’s me. I’m asking. Why would Shinoa ask?"

"So, Shinoa did say something?" He muses, mostly just to mess with the ravenet.

As if to further stir the pot, the lavender haired leader’s eyes briefly flicker over to them, coming dangerously close to meeting his own gaze, before focusing back on the soldier before her.

(Y/n) doesn’t notice this occurrence either, now making an odd motion that made Mikaela’s brows draw. Their face is a little intense now as they try to clearly convey their point. One hand was splayed out flat and the other made a swirling motion above it. Mikaela briefly wonders what they were rambling about this time.

"Fine, fine," Yuu huffs, drawing his attention again but not enough to make him look away, only continuing to watch the pantomime of the (h/c) haired individual, "Shinoa maybe- uhm, sort of, shined a light on your problem."

At least, he continues watching her until those last words reach his ears, making Mikaela abruptly turn, "My problem?"

Yet, Yuu only grins at him, happy as ever, meeting Mikaela’s gaze with those big emerald puppy dog eyes without a care in the world, "Yup."

Mikaela only offers him a displeased look rather than an actual answer.

The only problem he had was that Shinoa was poking her nosy little nose where it didn’t belong, directly in Mikaela’s personal business.

(Y/n), on the other hand, was never a problem.

As long as they were smiling- and they often were- he was sure everything was right in the world. Over the months they had spent together, getting stuck in confined spaces, shoving back to back during combat, and even bickering with each other on the rare occasion, Mikaela could probably even write an entire guidebook on how to properly handle and care for the individual.

He was still considering the silly handbook idea when he found himself looking at a familiar shade of (e/c).

(Y/n) was looking at him, he realized, and judging by the teasing nudge Shinoa gave their shoulder this wasn’t something they had originally thought of.

Despite this, their strawberry lips curve upward at the corners to give him a toothy smile. Their (e/c) eyes twinkling as they hold his under the warm sun shining high above them.

They lift a smaller hand and wiggle it at him.

Mikaela does the same, subconsciously smiling back at them, but only a smidgen.

Mikaela had many problems, but not (Y/n) and that was certain.

However, an elbow suddenly burrowing between his ribs does add to this list of dilemmas, "Oooh! Did you see that? They’re looking at you!"

The sudden rise in Yuu’s voice makes him return the favor, except he’s significantly more gentle, "I would have never noticed."

Even though Mikaela is sure they couldn’t have heard his grumble, he watches the way their eyes light up, the hand they were waving at him with quickly darting up to muffle their laughter.

It makes his heart soften the same way it always did, ready to slip through the cracks of his rib cage like slow dripping honey.

However, Yuu nearly knocking his head into Mikaela’s forces him to divert his attention to the believed idiot next to him as he all but theatrically whispered to him- hand cupped around his mouth and everything- "Shinoa thinks they have a crush on you."

Well...

Mikaela sure hoped so.

He doesn’t cup his mouth like a dumbass, but whispers back, "Really? What makes her think that?"

This seems to stump Yuu, because he leans back, causing Mikaela to look over at him and watch as he scratches his head.

The ravenet quickly glances over at Shinoa, giving her a puzzled look.

Mikaela’s eyes draw to the lavender haired girl who catches Yuu’s gaze and makes a face back, her brows furrowing.

Then, he looks back at Yuu who shrugs at her in response.

Before then again at Shinoa who flashes him a scowl. He could practically hear her exact thoughts. Definitely something along the lines of ‘Do I really have to do everything myself?’.

Mikaela snorts quietly. She should’ve known and picked someone else to interrogate him. Almost anyone other than Yuu might have made her some inkling of progress.

"Okay, well, I don’t know about that," Yuu says, as if it weren’t obvious he had no idea what he was talking about, "But I know about you."

Mikaela raises a brow at this, "Me? What about me?"

Those ivy eyes find him, glinting with a sense of determination, "Do you like (Y/n)?"

Mikaela almost smiles.

"Of course," he responds dutifully, "They’re part of your squad. I have to."

A little bit of a white lie but it’s more than worth it to watch Yuichiro’s face twist in distaste, obviously expecting a different answer.

"No!" He huffs, lifting his arms with a flurry to cross them over his chest, "I mean- do you like like them?"

Mikaela tilts his head, looking at his age-old friend under his lashes with an all but teasing smirk, "You sound like some kind of schoolgirl, Yuu-chan."

This only serves to frustrate the boy more, "Mika."

"Yuu," he chirps back mockingly.

His eyes have drifted back to (Y/n) though, who is oddly looking at Shinoa with a disturbed expression, making Mikaela pause. That is- until Shinoa leans forward with a grin stretching across her delicate face from ear to ear. He can probably guess what’s happening there.

Mikaela decides he’s thankful Shinoa chose Yuichiro to interrogate him about this matter rather than taking a go at him herself.

He also takes a second to silently apologizes to (Y/n) who clearly does not have this luxury.

"You’re not going to get rid of me that easily, you know," the boy next to him declares uselessly, "I need answers, Mika."

Unfortunately for Yuu, Mikaela had watched him do a multitude of stupid things for many years now. He had even been dragged into most of these stupid acts as an accomplice and impulse control.

Meaning...

Mikaela could play dumb all day.

"Answers about what?"

-

(Y/n)’s eyes narrow.

They take a step to one side.

The mirror across from them does the same.

(Y/n) takes a step to the other side.

Again, the latter follows in suit, toe for toe.

(Y/n) takes a step back.

They take a step forward.

"Would you stop that?" They finally huff, squinting at their opponent unabashedly.

Shinoa was damn near shameless, asking without missing a beat, "Have you guys kissed yet?"

"No!" They squawk, still unused to her bold questions, despite having been her subordinate for at least a year now.

"Oh, oh! What about this?" Shinoa’s lips curl upward in such a grin that puts the Cheshire Cat to shame, "Has he... Y’know?"

She taps her neck with a delicate finger.

(Y/n) voiced her inquiry flatly, "Has he sucked my blood?"

Her coffee-colored eyes light up in response, so they quickly shoot this second wind down.

"No, of course not," they wave away the idea with their hand, "Do I look like a chew toy to you, Shinoa?"

(Y/n) suddenly wasn’t so sure they wanted to know what Shinoa thought they looked like, so they quickly turn on their heels, "Actually, never mind, don’t answer that."

"Oh come on! You’re telling me he hasn’t put the moves on you at all?!" She asked, as if it were an outrage, "Not even one singular move, (Y/n)?"

They don’t even warrant her with a response, continuing to walk along the cracked and battered street.

After a short meeting after breakfast this morning, they had come to the notion they should probably go scavenging in the nearby area for supplies. They would divide and conquer and be back at the rendezvous point in an hour.

Unfortunately for (Y/n), Shinoa had practically thrown her arms around them and strangled them as she declared them as their partner for the day.

Even more unfortunate, most of the area they had agreed to scavenge had turned out to be inaccessible due to debris and overgrowth, so only forty minutes later they found themselves at the place they agreed to meet at.

Alone.

With Shinoa.

This, of course, was after they thought they had escaped this morning’s weird Shinoa-involved-shenanigan.

Everything had been fine. They had just been talking about (favorite hobby) and (Y/n) had maybe gotten a little distracted explaining the details, when suddenly things took a turn for the worse.

Shinoa had nudged them and brought to their attention Mika was looking at them, and like an idiot, (Y/n) had turned to stupidly smile at him and wave.

...

Okay, so, (Y/n) didn’t regret greeting Mika but they definitely regretted the unprecedented consequences of that action.

Ever since then, Shinoa had been pestering them about some silly crush they had on the blond vampire. Asking them ridiculous questions and poking and prodding and doing the most to mess with them.

(Y/n) could only hope their apparent Prince Charming would swoop in and save them from the she-demon’s grilling.

"At least tell me you’ve held hands."

(Y/n) lifts both their hands to their face.

And buries a very quiet, very repressed yell into them.

Shinoa is, of course, unfazed by this and only giggles at their misery.

"You know... all this would go away if you just told me the truth~"

(Y/n) did know one thing- and that one thing was Shinoa. If hypothetically, they did slip up and say something, anything, they knew damned well that would only result in a million and one more questions.

If Shinoa got even so much as a centimeter on them, she would assuredly take a mile.

So, they find their composure and bluntly reply, "I already told you."

(Y/n) turns to face Shinoa, crossing their arms over their chest and flashing the girl a sour look, "There is nothing going on between me and Mika. I don’t know what else you want me to say."

Shinoa gazes back unwaveringly, holding their gaze like a lifeline, staring into the depths of their very soul as she tried to pick them apart like a broken clock.

(Y/n) is reminded to glance down at their watch. They note there is still a good ten minutes left until the rest of their team needed to be back.

But Shinoa’s sudden rise in voice makes them immediately look back up.

"Well, if it isn’t thing one and thing two," she cheerfully sneers at guests behind themself, making them glance over their shoulder curiously, mostly just relieved to have the girl’s attention off them for now.

They’re not surprised at all to find Yuichiro marching along, fists swinging at his sides with a bounce in his smiling step as he makes his way over.

Mikaela trails behind him, looking nowhere near as amused with the world, seeming a little more withdrawn into his white cloak than usual, like a little hermit crab.

The sight instantly makes their lips quirk upward.

"Took you guys long enough," they greet, more than happy to turn away from Shinoa and all her prying questions to see them, "Find anything good?"

Yuichiro nearly cuts them off before they’re finished asking, "I found a chocolate bar!"

It’s more than enough to make a big smile break out across their own lips, but it’s nothing compared to the proud way Yuu is beaming about his discovery.

"That’s... great... what about actual food? Clean water? Toilet paper?" Shinoa deadpans next to them as the two boys slow to a stop.

(Y/n) hums at this. She was only joking, but she did have a point. Maybe this area was too war-torn to effectively scavenge. It wasn’t like it was uncommon. Sometimes the only good thing to come from a place like this was a really good sneeze from all the dust or a cool looking rock.

But this idea is dispelled from their mind at a sudden rustle, before their eyes focus again on Mika who pushes a gloved hand past his cloak, revealing a plastic bag of what appeared to be some kind of supplies.

(Y/n) claps their hands together, smile returning to their features, "Oh! Nice job, Mika!"

Only for Shinoa to ‘accidentally’ shoulder check them as she reaches forward to take the bag, not so subtly mocking, "Yeah! Nice job, Mika."

However, before they can look away and rebuttal, Mikaela looks up at them, his brows knitting together and flashing them an odd look as if to ask them what the hell Shinoa was on about this time.

And just like that (Y/n)’s annoyances fizzle out instantly, a match dropped into a puddle, replaced by a laugh stirring from their chest as they muster a subtle shrug in response.

They swear for a split second they can see the corners of his lips tug upward before he forces them back down, shaking his head back at them.

Though he doesn’t say anything, they nod in agreement, silently sharing his exasperation.

"Hey, quick question-"

Their attention shifts from the blond vampire to find Yuu squinting at them, brows furrowed as he leans forward to peer at them.

It makes (Y/n)’s brows knit too, mirroring his expression but with worry instead of curiosity as they leaned back in response.

"Why are you covered in dirt?"

(Y/n) groans, quickly reaching up to shake their fingers through their usually silky locks, hoping to get most of the dust out.

Damned end of the world debris.

-

The next time Mikaela got to talk to (Y/n) was hours and hours later, much to his dismay.

It was nightfall now and the Shinoa squad had hauled up in a small easily defendable inn that Yoichi and Kimizuki had stumbled across during their own scavenging earlier in the day. The last few hours had been spent securing it as a temporary base of operations.

(Y/n) had volunteered for the first watch, but claimed the room at the end on the bottom floor.

Mikaela had decided on the room next to theirs and had waited there for an hour and a half until he was sure all the others were fast asleep in their beds. He was sure none of them were skipping out on this luxury, since they usually slept cramped up in the car or on the cracked and uneven concrete.

The wait was worth it because when he silently stepped out of his temporary room, he found the (h/c) haired individual standing outside like they had agreed, poking at a small fire they had started with a stick.

The firelight casts a golden crown on their silky (h/c) locks much like a halo and paints their familiar face an expensive flickering shade as they gaze down at the flame in boredom.

"Long day?" He speaks up, but that’s an overstatement. His voice is almost as quiet as the fire crackling and the distant chirping of crickets filling the warm summer night air around them.

Still, those (e/c) eyes flicker up and brighten instantly at the sight of him.

"You could say that," they respond evenly, a welcome hint of amusement tinging their softened voice as they all but throw their stick elsewhere, revealing to Mikaela their barrel withheld excitement. It warms his heart to know they’re so happy to see him, but he saves them the embarrassment of voicing it.

As Mikaela draws closer to them, the gravel crunches under his feet and also with their own movements when they take a seat next to the fire, quickly motioning for him to sit down too.

He does so, unbothered by the heat that greets him, but knowing their affinity for not freezing to death, being alive and all. Proof in the pudding, they were already shuffling closer to steal his warmth, wrapping their arms around their figure.

"I feel like I haven’t gotten to see you all day," they comment suddenly, making Mikaela look over at them with a slight alarm.

But he forces himself to relax when they nudge his shoulder with their own, listening to their gentle words, "Thanks for coming out."

Mikaela can’t help the small smile that finds him as he nudges them back ever so lightly, replying just as softly, "I wouldn’t miss you for the world."

"Oh, so you don’t miss me?" They snort, turning their face to look up at him blankly under their dark lashes, keeping their face carefully clear.

He scrunches his nose up at their silly antics, feeling the urge to shove them playfully but repressing it in fear of them actually moving away, "You know what I meant."

(Y/n)’s lips upturn with a small grin, "Maybe, maybe not..."

They lean closer daringly, nearly bumping noses with him as they tease, meeting his icy gaze with their (e/c) one, "Maybe I just wanted to hear you say it."

Mikaela indulges them, trying to convince himself that he could resist their charms if he really wanted to.

"I missed you too, (Y/n)," he breathes quietly into the air, lightly leaning forward to further decrease the space between them, resting his forehead lightly against theirs.

They gently push back against his head with their own, playful as ever, "I know."

"Do you?" He mocks, lashes sinking against his cheeks as he recalls, "Because I distinctly remember you telling Shinoa earlier that I meant nothing to you."

This time, they pull back a little to head butt him, adding a smidgen more force with faux annoyance, "That is not what I said and you know it."

"You told her I was gum on your shoe," he retorts, cracking his eyes open a smidgen to peer at them smugly, "You said you’d never seen me in your life."

"I did not, shut up," they whine, reaching a hand up in the minuscule space between them to rest his chin in the area between their pointed finger and thumb which came up to squish his cheeks.

It’s a funny feeling smiling as someone messes with your face.

"Besides, what was I supposed to tell her? The truth?" They utter, looking up at him under their lashes and arching a brow, "Because I’m sure she’d be over the moon if I waltzed in and woke her up right now to tell her that I like like you.”

Mikaela watches them steadily as their hand travels up his face to cup his cheek affectionately, "You like like me?”

(Y/n) smiles at him lazily and he admires the way the fire next to them flickers and reflects in the shine of their lively (e/c) eyes, “Shinoa’s words, not mine.”

He hums, eyes sinking closed again as he melts into their warm touch, “You know, she tried to rope Yuu into it too. Maybe she thought she could cover more ground that way or something."

The idea almost makes him snort, but he holds back, melting further into the quiet moment shared between them.

"Did you tell him?" They inquire, brushing their thumb lightly along his cheekbone. Mikaela didn’t need sleep but was certain if he ever did fall asleep again this would be how.

"Not yet," he mumbles, but saying it out loud lets a small prickle of guilt finds him, "I’d rather tell him when he wasn’t being peer pressured to ask me."

"It’s not like he’s going to notice by himself, Mika," (Y/n) retorts, but he can hear their lovely smile in the way their voice draws.

"I know," he responds lightly.

He turns his head in their hand and lovingly presses a kiss to the soft of their palm.

"Let’s not worry about them right now though. Tonight is ours."

Instead of swooning at his YA romance worthy one-liner, (Y/n) instead snorts, as if dumbfounded, "Wh- You cannot be jealous. They’re not even out here."

Mikaela’s eyes flutter open a crack only so he can flash them a sour look.

To which (Y/n) only pulls their hand away to fondly smile at him in response.

While he cherishes this look dearly, mentally taking a photograph of it to join the many others of their beautiful smile, he tells them point-blank, "Look, if you’re not going to cuddle, I’m going back to my room."

"See, that’s just cruel, you don’t even need sleep!" They argue, even as they wiggle closer to him, but they make sure to ‘accidentally’ nudge him a little roughly.

Mikaela hides his smile by resting his head on top of theirs as he welcomes them to his side wholeheartedly, lifting his arm and his cape before wrapping both snug around their figure and pulling them nearer, eliminating all space between them.

"But you do," he reminds them, patting their side fondly, "Now be quiet and close your eyes. I’ll keep watch instead."

"Quit being mean to me or I’ll go to my room," they mutter, and then add pointedly, maybe even a little quieter, "and I will sleep."

It’s not long before Mikaela realizes the reason why is because they were already halfway to snoozing, even as they mumbled that poor argument to him.

He can barely keep the smile off his lips long enough to press a feathery kiss to the top of their head.

"Goodnight, (Y/n)."

[mcprincessdiaries-archive]

life is fleeting and i realize i may never be able to share the stories i want to as fully fleshed out fiction. but thats ok cause im fine with essay length rambling text posts. so how about some belala lore indulgence :-)

part 1 of ???

some background: belalas spent like, basically her whole life studying to be a chirurgeon. while she excelled in the medical side of the field, her ability to weave healing spells left something to be desired. after learning everything she possibly could at whatever far flung outpost she'd been at, its guildmaster realized the help she needed was simply beyond what he could offer. so he sends her off to where he originally learned his craft, gridania

upon arriving and meeting with e-sumi-yan she immediately gets tasked with the tall order of assisting with the cleansing of the recently-ish-unearthed ruins of amdapor. of course, she wasnt to do it alone, as the guild leader had the foresight to seek help from a band of "incredibly trustworthy adventurers". three guesses at their identities.

sasabe had been approached by the serpent commander i-forgot-his-name while doing business at the adders' nest, asking if she was interested in assisting a newly arrived conjurer with some great arduous task. she accepts, and invites bonana and oranje to help too

so a black mage, a dark knight and a samurai walk into the stillglade fane. this happens during late stormblood, by the way. bonana, upon realizing who theyre helping, is just 100% completely absolutely stunned. to make it worse, she doesnt seem to recognize him (remember, she hasnt seen him since he was still a kid), so he decides to play the cool and stoic act and leave the talking to the other two while he internally panics

its a long, awkward trip down to the south shroud. belala did happen to recognize sasabe as "the girl at the tea shop" that befriended her sister. it prompted her to share quite a few embarrassing stories about said sister, that perhaps he didnt want sas to know about. just as well, belala also spent some time poking and prodding at him a bit, wondering why he seemed to regard her so strangely. but before he caved in to her pouting, they arrived at the entrance to the lost city.

there, they meet a serpent officer casually leaned against the wall, a mighty weird lance upon his back, his collar so high you could fit a number of puppies in it. he proclaims he was sent by brother e-sumi-yan to oversee them to their task, and guide them if need be. a dungeon, basically, theyre doing a dungeon. not lost city though. lets call it ummmmm....the dreamer's assay. sure

the first part is underground where ancient aqueducts flow into a cistern. but after decades upon centuries of being clogged, the areas grown stagnant with mold and decay, the creatures that roam it just as rancid. immediately belala is overwhelmed by the assault on her senses, while the others dont seem nearly as bothered. after assuring shes ok bonana charges ahead, but not too fast cause hes not quite certain of her capabilities yet.

at the end of their path they find an enormous croc infected with all manner of fungi and parasites. not a regular crocodile mind, one of those fucked up hairy ones with the face that splits open

after an intense boss fight the beast is laid to rest, and belala senses a change in the area. grabbing at that feeling, she channels aether through her staff and cleanses the stagnant waters of its taint. as it flowed freely again, she swears she saw someone standing at the other side, leading them onwards

the second part...i havent actually solidified. all ive got is its like a bunch of spiderwebs over a chasm, with a big ol' spider boss at the end. belala cleanses the wind, and she sees the ghost again, taking them even further downwards.

the THIRD area is some kind of sanctum, clearly somewhere important back in its glory days. however, it appeared to have a growing voidsent problem, the fiends forcing themselves to manifest within the power-laden statues adorning the place. after dealing with the infestation, the group comes across a very large, very important and imposing-looking statue, in similar appearance to kuribu. but instead of a faceted red jewel imbedded in its chest, this one was a smooth, pure white.

the serpent officer steps forward, shoving belala out of the way to reveal his ulterior motives. for he was never a real officer, but a black mage of ancient mhach...whose corpse had been roused into undeath by a rather ambitious voidsent. her plans laid bare, she makes her move to inhabit the statue just as it began to stir.

however, she couldnt possess it completely, becoming instead an abomination of marbled stone and twisted flesh, its wings breaking and giving way to a mass of writhing tendrils. the point is its very scary and gross and belala is 100% freaking out cause she has never seen anything like this before. queue final boss music

belala manages to gather herself as the other three make quick work of the fiend. everything goes fairly smooth, until the field is obscured in a cloud of darkness, the voidsent catching all of them unaware in the grasp of her tentacles. with quick thinking bonana shields his sister from the brunt of the attack as theyre grabbed together, afterwards wiggling one his arms loose to protect her with a powerful barrier (blackest night babyyy).

suddenly the conjurer finds herself all alone, that horrible creature gloating as it loomed over her. digging deep to find the courage within herself, she raises her staff and calls out to the stone still clinging on, and the white crystal resonated with her pleas. the statue collapses in on itself, crushing the voidsent within, as a wave of white, holy light bursts out, utterly destroying whatever remnants of it were left.

with victory secured, she rushes to aid the others recovery. none worse for the wear, sasabe starts looking through the rubble of the once-glorious statue. within it she finds the selfsame stone that had been embedded in its chest, completely smooth, save for a single symbol carved into its surface. the soul of a white mage.

she hands it off to belala and upon holding it, she sees the same small ghostly figure clad in white and crimson. this time, however, they take off the hood...revealing a face eerily similar to her own. holding up a finger in a hushing motion, the phantom dissipates, leaving the band to make their way back to gridania.

upon returning belala shows the soul crystal to the guildmaster, and he smiles and congratulates her, revealing the journey had been a deliberate test. it turns out the padjal had already known about its resting place as the ruins were explored, but was asked by the elementals not to disturb it. he was told to wait for the right moment in which a rightful successor would step forward and claim it. reluctantly she accepts, still feeling as if she hadnt quite earned it.

but before she can ruminate on it bonana asks to talk with her alone outside, except its not really a talk he just kind of awkwardly takes off his helmet to reveal his identity. belala is rightfully shocked, wondering why he didnt say so sooner. as it turns out, he didnt because he believed she'd been in cahoots with their mother, as he had seen letter written between them, and knew that she was the one who'd been pressing for him to leave home and study medicine just like she did (the thing that drove him to run away)

belala tries to assuage him and explains the reason she did that was because she knew how unhappy he was at home, and there wasnt much else she could do, being so far away, with no way to talk directly to him without their parents knowing (yet she admits there was an aspect of just wanting to see him again to it as well). but this only irritates him further as he sharply points out hes not a little kid that needed saving, and he definitely didnt need his goody-goody sister being around for others to compare and ask why he cant be more like her

ultimately their little "reunion" ends with him storming off, leaving belala alone to contemplate about just how much time has passed between them.

[ijustreallylikecaptainamericaok]

if you're still in the mood to ramble, thoughts on peggysous? full disclosure, i havent seen agent carter, but i've seen ppl talk about it and how sousa was pretty misogynistic (but grew as a person or something idk) and then after endgame it was like "steve ruined peggysous! the horror" which 🙄 anyway

Hi! Whoo hoo, okay. *cracks knuckles* Strap in, everybody.

I've touched on pieces of this here and there over time, but let's just get it all in one spot.

Let me preface this all by saying that when I first started the first season of Agent Carter, I liked Daniel. He seemed like a decent dude and clearly had a thing for her, which I was down with and thought could be good for her. Initially. But it became very apparent, very quickly that that was not the case at all. Hell, even after season one I still thought both him and the ship had potential, but the show squandered it, hard.

Because yes, Daniel is a misogynist and arguably one of the worst kinds. The kind that thinks because he isn't screaming slurs or being ~~hateful~~ that that makes him one of the good ones and such a. Nice. Guy. His misogyny is insidious and paternalistic, all wrapped in some "I'm just trying to protect you" nonsense. His respect and niceness is tenuous at best, because he will turn on a dime once he thinks a woman isn't living up to his standards for them, as Peggy herself called him out for here.

And no, he did not grow. Not in AC, anyway. If anything, he became more of a dickbag as the show went on, but we'll get there. I've seen folks say that he did grow as a character once he jumped ship to Agents of SHIELD, but I haven't seen it and I don't want to and given what little I have seen of it, I have my doubts. He still seemed to be on the paternalistic shit, but Daisy was into it, so I guess that makes it alright? Whatever. Not my problem.

Now, since you didn't watch AC, Nonnie, let me give you a quick timeline of how P*ggysous went down. Season one of AC takes place over the course of a few weeks around March or April of 1946, which means it happens about a year after Steve "died." Peggy was not in a good place, obviously. She wasn't even ready to open up to having friendships with people, let alone a romance. During the course of the season, she does open up and get close to Angie Martinelli (a waitress at the diner she frequents) and Edwin Jarvis (Howard's butler), but romance is still not something she's ready for. During the season finale, Daniel asks her if she'd like to get a drink after work, but she politely declines as she already has plans with Angie and Edwin. It's also obvious in the way she smiles once Daniel turns away that she isn't opposed to the idea, it's just not good timing (for many reasons.) But the show very much leaves that door open. Fine, cool.

Season two takes place around July 1947 about six months after Daniel transferred from NYC to California. By the time Peggy arrives there for the case she's investigating, Daniel's with a new girl, Violet (who's lovely, had better chemistry with him, and didn't deserve any of this shit) and he is already planning to propose to her. Yet we're still subjected to multiple characters (especially poor Rose and even Violet) being relegated to mouthpieces for how obviously in love Daniel is with Peggy. Not to mention how the season kicks off with Jack (the SSR’s resident shithead) playing matchmaker by sending Peggy to LA, in the first place. Meanwhile, the only indication of what their relationship was between seasons is a mention of how he refused to answer her calls once he got out to LA. Then the season ends with Peggy's other, better romantic prospect, Jason, leaving the country to work with Howard and Peggy decides to stay in LA and kisses Daniel. And then the show got canceled.

(And per EG and AOS, they broke up some point before 1949.)

Like, what? It's so rushed and so stupid. Both of them had options that were better and made more sense, yet the show still forced this ship. And not only was it pushing this ship hardcore, for some reason, it also made a big deal about how Peggy had to chose between him and Jason, immediately, right now. Despite the fact that the show made it very clear that it was never going to let her pick Jason anyway. Everything about the ship was so sudden and urgent, out of almost nowhere. Yes, the ship was teased in the first season, but it's still remarkable how suddenly it escalated and again, for almost no reason.

It’s not like they had some whirlwind romance off-screen that turned sour or that Peggy was stringing him along, no. Dude asks her out once, she says no (because duh), then literally nothing happens between them for months, but he’s so incapable of dealing with or moving on from his work crush that he fucks off across the country to immediately hook up with some other girl, who he immediately drops once Peggy’s back in the picture. Seriously, fuck this entitled dumbass. I’m not the least bit sad that Marvel broke up this train wreck. The bottom line is this: Agent Carter ruined P*ggysous, not Endgame and certainly not Steve.

And no, despite what many want to claim, Daniel is not Peggy’s Nameless Husband. We are given one piece of information about her husband in TWS, which is that Steve saved him at some point during the war. Maybe AC’s writers intended to go down that route with Daniel, but as of the end of season two and the show as a whole, there is no indication at all that that factoid applies to him.

Even if he was the Nameless Husband that changes nothing for me, because, well, the ship sucks, but also! Different timeline, different rules. Peggy’s allowed to make different choices under different circumstances. And the concern trolls who claim Steve somehow took away her choices and her life? They damn well know that, as evidenced by the fact that no one’s crying over the Captain Carter timelines hurting Daniel or the Nameless Husband, who are apparently oh so entitled to her in the prime timeline. The post-EG fawning over Daniel and worry over the Husband was bullshit from the get-go, but the lack of any of that same concern post-WI or post-MoM confirms what the real problem always was: Peggy can make any and every choice she wants to as long as she doesn’t choose to be with Steve. And I’m sorry, but there’s no way for me to describe that other than fucking bullshit.

(”thoughts on ___” meme)

[moonlit-imagines]

A Bug’s Life

Peter Parker x Lang!reader

warnings:

a/n: i love this concept and also anon u r sweet and i just found out theres a marvel supervillainess named dragonfly but since i havent heard of her until today im using that name!

prompt: anonymous: “Can you please write a Tom Holland!Peter Parker x Female!Reader where the reader is the older sister of Cassie Lang (Antman’s daughter) and her and Peter fall in love with each other. ✨ Thanks so much! 😘”

Okay, so when you were a kid, you had always dreamed of being a superhero. You never thought you’d know your idols personally, though. You see, when your dad, Scott Lang, came back from prison, a lot changed. Suddenly, he was a superhero and no matter how much he didn’t like it, you wanted to be apart of it.

“Y/N, no, please. You’re just a kid!” You dad argued with you in the presence of your “uncles.”

“Scotty, I think it’d be good for her, you know? Like, she’s so smart and she’s got a lot of talent! I think she could learn a thing or two from Hope and Dr. Pym, right?” Uncle Luis egged on.

“Yeah, dad! Me and Hope have already been experimenting with some stuff and, I mean, Mom’s been bugging me over getting into some extracurriculars...” You reasoned with him.

“Yeah, y/n, like photography club or soccer, not being a crime-fighting bug!” Scott pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, but when he looked back up, you were giving him puppy eyes. “Don’t...don’t do that.”

“Please, dad? I just wanna follow in your footsteps. You’re my hero.” You pouted your lip and didn’t break eye contact with him until he let out a load groan.

“Your mom is going to kill me.” He mumbled while you celebrated with Luis.

You became known as Dragonfly, Ant-Man and Wasp’s sidekick partner. It wasn’t long before you were affiliated with the Avengers and other heroes from across the galaxy.

The first time you stepped foot into the Avengers Compound was unbelievable.

“If only I could tell eight-year-old me how cool she’d grow up to be...” You whispered as your dad led you through the place. You were specifically requested for recruitment following a backround check that proved that you were qualified to train as a junior scientist! The program had just been started thanks to the young Spider-Man, one of the many heroes you had met before and would actually get to know after today.

“Alright, kiddo, it’s not too late to back out.” Your dad told you.

“It’s gonna be fine, dad! You know you can visit me anytime and I’ll come to see you and Cassie every chance I can get.” You gave him a warm smile to let him know it’s alright.

“I know...I’m just gonna miss you, you know?” He shrugged, but before the conversation could continue, you were greeted by Bruce Banner, aka the Hulk.

“Welcome! Nice to see you again, Scott.” Bruce shook your dad’s hand, then turned to you. “And it’s wonderful to finally meet the girl behind the mask.” He shook your hand.

“Nice to meet you, too, Doctor Banner.” You fit your small hand into his abnormally large (and green) hand.

“I’ve heard great things about you, Y/N. I’m excited to see your talent up close.” Dr. Banner chuckled. “I told Peter to meet us here, he probably forgot.” He walked to the wall and pressed the speaker button to the intercom. “Peter, can you meet us at the South Entrance?”

Moments later, a teenage boy came barrelling towards the three of you.

“Sorry! Sorry I’m late.” He apologized profusely. You giggled at the disheveled appearance of him. His hair was sticking up in the back and his flannel was half-tucked into his pants. “I’m Peter!” He stuck his hand out for you to shake. “Peter Parker. Spider-Man.” You took his hand gladly and shook it.

“Y/N Lang. Dragonfly.” You introduced yourself. “It’s been a while since we’ve fought together.” You pointed out. “Maybe that’s a good thing.” Peter’s eyes furrowed at that comment. “You know, not fighting.” You added.

“Oh, yeah, definitely!” Peter agreed.

“So, let me guess: you overslept?” You referenced Peter’s bold look and he quickly fixed anything noticeably wrong to him. Bruce and your dad were just observing the chemistry between you and Peter, exchanging entertained glances.

“Hi! I’m y/n’s dad, Scott. Ant-Man.” Scott interrupted as he waved to Peter.

“Oh! I remember you. You got really big in Germany and I had to web your knees until you fell down.” Peter brought up old memories and you covered your mouth to stop from laughing.

“Yep! That’s me.” Scott eyes got slightly wider. “So, I really wish I could stay, but I have a meeting with a client tomorrow morning that I can’t miss. Alarm company doesn’t run itself, you know?” Silence. “Anyways, uh, y/n.” He motioned you a bit closer so you could say goodbye. He crouched down and grabbed both your shoulders. “I love you so much and I am super proud of you. This is an awesome opportunity, kiddo!”

“Yeah, I know.” You said in a sort of disappointed tone.

“What’s wrong?” Scott asked.

“I’m just gonna miss you.” You frowned.

“Come here.” Your dad pulled you into a tight hug. “I’m gonna miss you, too.” The hug lasted at least sixty seconds before he pulled away and kissed your forehead. “Okay, now here’s your bag, go do some science!” He gave you your suitcase. “I love you, Pumkin.”

“Love you, too, dad.” You smiled, almost holding back tears. You really didn’t want to say goodbye to him, but it’s apart of life. Scott watched as you, Peter, and Banner walked down the halls of the Compound. Bruce and Peter were showing you your new room!

“What’s crime like on the West Coast?” Peter asked you. “I’ve only fought crime on the East Coast. And Europe. And Space.”

“Crime is the same coast to coast. It’s crime.” You shrugged.

“Well, that’s cool. Sorry, I’m not good at small talk.” He chuckled.

“Peter, you’ll be able to show y/n her room and give her a little tour, right?” Bruce asked as he slowed down.

“Yeah, no problem.” Peter nodded.

“Alright, great. I’ll be in the lab if anyone needs me.” Bruce walked away and left the two of you to it.

“Okie doke.” Peter clapped his hands together. “Well, this is the hallway.” Is exactly how he just began the tour. The Compound was actually, surprisingly, bigger than you expected. “And that’s the training room, there’s the kitchen, your room has it’s own bathroom, but there are other bathrooms all over the place. There’s a shopping list on the fridge if you ever have any requests, but fruit snacks are banned since I ate two full boxes in one day and threw up.” Peter gave that wonderful anecdote.

“Wow, that’s...impressive?” You tried to come up with something.

“I think the word you’re looking for is ‘disgusting.’” Peter and you shared a laugh as you approached your new room. He opened the door up and you stepped into the biggest bedroom you’d ever seen. “It’s taken some getting used to, you know, the big room, the big bed, the huge bathroom, all of it.”

“This is amazing.” You mumbled.

“Yeah! And Bruce said we can go shopping and decorate the room any way you’d like. I just got my license, so I’d be cool with driving.” Peter proposed.

“Yeah, I think that’d be pretty cool.” You agreed as you threw your suitcase onto the bed and started unpacking. “Uh, I’m kind of hungry...know any places to eat around here?” You started putting shirts on hangers and filling up your huge closet. You noticed Peter hadn’t answered your question yet, so you turned around to see what he was stalling for. He was just watching you. “Am I really that interesting?” You joked.

“What?” Peter blinked. “Oh! Yeah, sorry, yeah, there’s a few places around that we can go to. Assuming you’d want my company, of course. It’s your choice, really.” Peter rambled and you approached him.

“Duh, I gotta get to know my housemate better!” You pulled Peter out of the room and in a random direction. “Am I going the right way to the garage?”

“No.” He answered and you quickly changed directions. You were oddly comfortable with Peter already, and he wasn’t exactly against it. You were super sweet to him and you two have a lot of shared experience. Teen heroes trying to make a difference. And bug-themed.

Peter drove you to his favorite (and closest) restaurant for dinner, and on the way, he played his music on the playlist. Left Hand Free by Alt-J played through the speakers as you sang along.

“You like this song?” He asked and you nodded without a pause in singing. “Good, so do I. You have a really good voice.” He complimented, which definitely made you blush.

“Thanks, now sing with me!” You nudged his arm leaning on the console and resumed your singing.

“I don’t really sing.” Peter chuckled and saw you roll your eyes, then sighed. “Fine. You win.” He began to join you in song.

Well your left hand’s free, and your right’s in grip. With another left hand watch his right hand slip towards his gun, woah woah woah...

“You’re not too bad, yourself, Peter.” You told him as he pulled into a parking spot at the restaurant. The two of you walked in together and the waitress immediately recognized Peter.

“Hey there, Peter! Good to see you!” She greeted and grabbed two menus. “I see you’ve brought a date.” She raised her eyebrows and smirked.

“Oh, uh, she’s not—” Peter stuttered before you took over.

“Yep, it’s our first date! I’m y/n.” You introduced yourself.

“Well, it’s nice to see him with someone. Follow me, you two.” She let you over to a table and told you she’d be back for drinks in a minute. As soon as she left, Peter turned to you.

“When were you going to tell me this was a date?” Peter cocked an eyebrow with a crooked smile to match it.

“I’m sorry! I hope it’s okay I told her that.” You innocently replied.

“It’s more than okay.” Peter leaned forward. “I’m happy to be your date. We are moving a bit fast, though.”

“Are you sure? This is actually pretty slow for people our age. By now, they’d probably be confessing their love for one another.” You joked and he rolled his eyes.

“You are so right!” He snorted. “Jeez, it’s been so long since I’ve talked to someone my own age!” He sighed. “What about you?”

“I hang out with adults all day long. The only kid I hang out with is my little sister. Do you have any siblings?” You asked him.

“Only child.” Peter answered. “What’s your sister’s name?”

“Cassie. She’s sweet but it’s kind of weird coming back after the Blip and seeing her all big and everything.” You made random hand gestures to demonstrate that she was bigger.

“I know, right! I have classmates that I saw as infants that are now bigger than me!” He explained. The waitress came back and got you your drinks and took each of your orders. Back to the chit-chat. “Okay, now tell me, what got you into the hero-game?”

“Okay, well, my dad had just gotten out of prison, right?” That sentence itself made Peter choke on his drink. “Oh, calm down, it was a non-violent offense. He actually exposed corruption, that’s why I look up to him.” You explained.

“That’s good, that’s good. I’m glad. Go on.” He took another sip from his drink.

“Yeah, so then he robbed Hank Pym, who actually wanted my dad to rob him, then a bunch of ants broke my dad out of jail after he got arrested again for stealing from Dr. Pym, then my dad became the new Ant-Man and took down some bad guys, his new girlfriend, Hope, who is Dr. Pym’s daughter, took a liking to me and started showing me the ropes, so me and my Uncle Luis convinced my dad to let me make my own suit. Then Dragonfly was born.” You explained in full detail. “What about you?”

“Oh, yeah. Well, I got bit by a radioactive spider that was being experimented on in a lab, then I had a short-lived wrestling career, then my uncle who raised me died and I became Spider-Man.” He smiled and your jaw dropped.

“Holy shit, are you okay?” You asked.

“Oh, yeah, I’m good.” He admitted as you guys recieved your food. “So, anything else I should know about you?”

“I dunno.” You shrugged. “I like Star Wars.” You told him.

“Me too!” Peter exclaimed.

“No, you don’t. My dad told me Spider-Man called AT-AT’s ‘walking-thingies.’” You shook your head and laughed at the thought of that.

“Okay, so I’m not a huge fan, but our next date can be a Star Wars marathon?” Peter proposed.

“Yes!” You agreed a bit too enthusiastically. Peter smiled and the waitress brought an ice cream sundae with two spoons to the table.

“It’s on the house.” She told you two with a wink.

“Looks like we’re sharing.” You grabbed a spoon and got to work. Peter got chocolate all over his chin. He was kind of a messy eater. “You’ve got a little something...” You grabbed a napkin and wiped his chin clean.

“Thanks.” Peter picked his spoon up and moved it towards you. “Have you tried any of the brownie yet?” You took a bite of what he offered.

“Wow, that’s amazing.” You spoke through your mouthful.

“I hate to brag, but I make a pretty mean batch of brownies.” Peter bragged.

“You’re gonna have to prove it, Pete.” You wiped your face off and cleaned up your spot a bit. “You ready to get back to the Compound?”

“Yeah, yeah, let’s get going.” Peter left some cash on the table to pay the bill and walked you out to the car. The car ride back was filled with jokes and even more stories about your super-adventures. “So, you’re telling me that the first time you shrank, you cried?”

“Yes! Dude, it was an emotional experience. I’m telling you, I was not prepared for something so cool.” You defended yourself. “Now tell me something embarrassing about your powers.”

“I got stuck to a bathroom stall at school and they thought I was skipping class so they sent an aide and I was crying out of fear.” He admitted with pity in his voice.

“Oh, my god. That’s awful.” You giggled and grabbed his hand. “Have you recovered yet?”

“No, unfortunately not, but the handholding sure does help.” Peter squeezed your hand tighter.

“I’m glad.” You smugly replied and closed your eyes to listen to the music. You were kind of exhausted from traveling, so you knew you’d pass out the moment you hit your bed. Soon, you arrived at the Compound and Peter kissed your cheek to get you up.

“We’re hoooome.” He said in a singsong voice as your eyes fluttered open. “Sorry, that was weird.” He apologized, but you grabbed his face and pulled him in for a long kiss. More like a brief makeout, but potato, poe-tah-toe.

“You’re really cute, you know?”

[wickymicky]

ive been feeling lately that im not sure i’ll ever transition. like idk if i’ll ever come out publicly. i dont want to. im certainly not ready for that now, and like partly because i still dont know what id even necessarily come out as. and its okay if i dont know, but obviously people are gonna ask. not everyone will think it’s okay if i don’t know, lol. and like.... idk. my friends will know. i’ll be me online, like here on this blog. but i’m not sure i’ll ever transition publicly. my sister is trans and is transitioning, on hormones, wearing clothes that express her gender better, that she never used to wear before, so she’s making a lot of changes and becoming happier for it. and going by her new name publicly now, which previously she wasn’t, i was one of the only people who knew it. but i can tell that that’s not me. 

whether i’m a girl or like none binary with left girl... either way... a transition for me wouldnt really involve changes to my physical appearance, except i guess taking hormones and shaving my face all the time instead of lazily letting my facial hair grow out even though i hate it and i think it looks and feels bad to have. but like... i wouldnt grow my hair out... i had long hair when i was in high school, longer than plenty of cis girls i was friends with haha. and eh, been there done that. no thanks. i dont wanna change how i dress because tbh i dress like... nothing. like really plain. the plainest things. and i wouldnt change that lol, i dont care. that’s a personality thing, not a gender thing. if i was born a cis girl, i feel like i would look exactly like i do now, dressing the same and with the same haircut. and on a cis girl, that might be very visibly queer haha, but.. i’m not a cis girl. so i dont even know what a transition would like... be. hormones i guess, but tbh i dont feel like they’d do a lot for me. 

testosterone makes afab people change in very noticeable ways, sometimes very fast, they start growing facial hair, building muscle differently, and their voices change. estrogen wouldnt change my voice, alter my overall shape all that much, or make facial hair stop growing. id get boobs i guess, but like, shrug, if that’s the only thing i would be doing it for, then it’s probably not what’s right for me. estrogen does make a lot of trans women feel a lot better about themselves and im not knocking that lol, i’m just talking about how this all pertains to me. top surgery for trans guys is relatively simple, they have a thing that they dont want and it can be removed relatively easily. i know it’s not actually easy, it’s expensive and hard to get and there’s always gonna be risk involved with stuff like that, but like compared to trans surgeries involving genitals, it’s a relatively simple one right? i think most trans guys who have top surgery dont necessarily have bottom surgery in any way, but just that first one, top surgery, makes such a noticeable visible difference and is a great weight off their shoulders, pun intended. im not interested in bottom surgery either, like, i mean im not wild about my thing, but im not interested in doing anything with that. but i dont have anything to chop off above my waist lmao, only things i think it would be neat if i had, haha. so basically what im saying is.... the list of changes i would even make to my physical appearance is like.... actually really small. and not because i love myself and am content with everything, cause im not. sigh. i just wish i had been born as a cis girl from birth. testosterone is too powerful and i wish it never ran amok through my body lmao, cause like i cant really undo all the stuff it did, not easily anyway. and the ways that we can undo those changes... arent things that i would be comfortable with. so im just left.... uncomfortable. that’s why trans guys transition so drastically... testosterone really fucks you up hahaha

hmmm. idk. i feel like the only thing a transition would really entail for me, at this stage in my life, is just people calling me Gwen in person. and using they/them or she/her, i guess. but i dont think i’m ready for that. that thought scares me. ive heard it sometimes in person, via my boyfriend (who is also trans, and transitioned before we started dating), and that can be nice, but i dont think im ready for my family or strangers to call me Gwen. i like it online because none of you know what i look like. i can be myself because none of you have preconceived notions about me... all you know is what you see when i say things online, which is great. in person though, im not sure im ready to handle the judgment and confused looks and suffer through every time someone goes “Wi- uh, i mean Gwen” like my mom still does with my sister. she’s trying, but she calls her her deadname like 50% of the time or more, and like i just.... idk. obviously she calls me my birthname too, because she doesnt even know my new name, but the fact that she doesnt know it means that it doesnt really bother me when she calls me my birthname. if she knew it, and said my deadname, even by accident, it would just be like... idk... a whole thing.... you know? i wouldnt correct her necessarily, not all the time anyway, but she might correct herself and idk that just seems like something i would feel really awkward experiencing, i dont think im ready for all that. especially cause like... and this is the big reason..................................... i dont feel like Gwen. not physically, anyway. i feel like Gwen when i’m online cause i can just *be* Gwen, but physically... if im in my room, by myself, it’s fine, but when i’m around people i *really* don’t feel like Gwen. because i havent transitioned i guess, but like... idk. i just really dont wanna draw too much attention to myself. i talk a lot on here, but i’m an anxious person, i’m shy, i’m very introverted, etc. 

idk, i think i had more to say, but this is just kind of a ramble, and i lost my train of thought. i think im done for now lol. i’m just venting. you dont need to message me and console me or anything, i’m not doing bad right now, i’m doing fine. i’m just thinking out loud. but im not distraught or whatever, dont worry haha. and this isnt stuff that it like hurt to admit... cause its stuff ive been thinking about for a long long time haha. so yeah dont worry, im okay. im just posting this because it helps to get thoughts out of your head, you know?

[kiwidotcom]

mental health ramble 

the last 4 days i havent gone more than like an hour without crying because i just want to die so badly. and i just realized i ran out of anti depressants so i havent taken them in about 4 days. and part of the reason i ran out is because my new doctor wanted to do more frequent check ins with them since i got out of the hospital, to like, make sure im on the right stuff. except im so uncomfortable with life and everything, that i just always say that everything is going totally fine even though im insanely tired and depressed and always have a bit of a headache. but i say im fine bc i just want to end the call and am usually 2 or 3 days past when ive run out of meds at that point because i fucking cant make an appointment every fucking week holy shit. everything is just a never ending spiral of hell and i just want to be dead so badly. also i told my fwb that i needed to cancel today bc im doing really badly mental health wise and he just straight up was like “ok” so like fuck him right?

my other fwb is insanely attentive and like, asks me questions like a therapist would, and doesnt care if i talk about myself non stop or cry. which is cool. would be cool if i wasnt dead inside and could actually get feelings for him. 

i really want to invite him over right now so we can just cuddle and i can cry while we watch tv lmao but my place is a living hell because i finally emptied out my old apartment so now im just living in hoarder city again, exactly like my mom said i would. and i just dont fucking know what to do with any of my shit. i swear i havent bought anything i dont need in probably over a year, i dont fucking know where all this shit comes from. 

anyway. im going insane. really wish i wasnt off my meds, really wish it wasnt the weekend so i could get more. and really hope the mini vacay my mom sister and i are taking goes ok. they love each other but they really dont like each other, so im really fucking anxious about this. also my sister broke her arm and my mom keeps making jokes about it to me, and it makes me so uncomfortable so i need to tell her before we leave, but i know shell feel super bad when i do and make sure that i know she feels super bad. 

also the other day she told me she had like 4 days in a row where she was “chanelling me” and woke up thinking “whats the point everything sucks etc” and it was so hard so shes amazed and impressed that ive lived my last several months like this. which was like, comforting i guess but mostly just made me feel miserable that my mom felt like that, miserable that i had nothing comforting to say, and miserable that everything really does just keep getting worse for me.  holy fuck

i need drugs