#and i haven't stopped thinking about them since

[nakylvr]

TOO LATE

daniela avanzini x fem!reader

summary: after breaking up with dani a few weeks ago, she repeatedly tries to get in contact with you. ultimately, you end up doing multiple things you thought you would never do

warnings/tags: angst, language, dealer!dani au, happy ending (yay!), nsfw content, more probably im sorry

wc: 4,9 k

part 1 | too late (alternate ending)

minors dni

a gentle reminder that everything i post is fiction. none of this depicts the real people in what i write, this is all for fun. and i took what a few different anons suggested into consideration for both this ending and the alternate ending :]

it had been a few weeks since the incident with dani. you hadn't gone back to the apartment since then, despite all your things being there. you knew she would be there no matter what time of the day you went, that was one of the benefits of being a dealer as a job, you didn't really have a job.

you stayed with sophia for the time being, who was the one who initially brought the possibility of dani cheating on you. you felt bad the longer you stayed at her place, but she kept telling you that it was fine, that that's what best friends do for each other.

it was obvious you weren't feeling okay after it all went down. you would mainly stare at nothing or your phone lockscreen that you had yet to change. you didn't really leave unless sophia dragged you out to go somewhere. you couldn't stop thinking about it for weeks.

“we should go get your stuff today,”

you glance over at sophia who's cooking from your seat on the stool at the kitchen island, eyebrows raising in surprise. “what?”

“well, you still haven't stopped by the apartment,” she says, hearing the shock in your voice and continuing. “i know you don't want to but you have to if you really want to officiate it as a breakup. you need your things.” she says slowly, choosing her words carefully to not upset you.

you look back down at the kitchen island, mumbling in response. “i guess.”

sophia lets out a short sigh, turning off the stove and walking over to you. she reaches for your hands, grabbing ahold of them causing you to look up at her. “i know it's hard, yn. but you can't just not have your stuff. i know what you're thinking, that she's more likely going to be there than not, but i’ll go with you, okay?” she says softly, her thumb gently rubbing circles on your hands. “and then, i want you to do something.”

you can hear her tone change at her last sentence, and you look at her confused. “what do you mean?”

“i’ll tell you after we get your things.”

within the hour, you were standing outside the apartment with sophia next to you. it was roughly ten in the morning, and you held the key in your shaking hand, hesitating to unlock the door.

“soph i don't think this is a good idea,” you say, lowering your hand. “i don't want another argument right now.”

“it’ll be fine, you’ll be fine,” sophia responds, sending a warm smile your way and squeezing your other hand reassuringly.

meekly nodding your head, you slowly unlock the door and walk inside. instantly, you're hit with the smell of smoke, making your eyes squint slightly trying to adjust to the hazy fog-like atmosphere in the apartment. great.

“is it always like this?” sophia mumbles quietly.

all you do is shake your head in response, walking into the living room and seeing the mess scattered on the coffee table. your first instinct is to clean it up and scold dani for making a mess on the expensive table, but the second you reach your hand out, sophia grabs it and pulls you back.

“we're here to get your things, that's it,” she tells you again.

“right,” you say quietly.

you make your way to the bedroom door, quietly opening the door and immediately freezing in your spot. you knew she would be here, that was obvious. but the sight of her is what stopped you.

she was sleeping, probably for the first time since it happened judging by the dark bags under her eyes that clearly weren't there before. looking at sophia, you take the duffel bag from her. “you can wait outside, i’ll be fine,” you say to her. she gives you a look, but nods her head and walks out of the apartment, leaving you in the room. you take a few steps into the room, and dani starts stirring around, rolling over and groggily opening her eyes. “yn?” she mumbles softly, half awake barely able to make out your face.

“go back to sleep, dani,” you say quietly, pulling the blanket over her. your eyes linger on her for a moment, watching her eyes close again as she mumbles something.

you go to the closet and open it, starting to grab your clothes and putting them in the bag. when you finish with your clothes, you head into the bathroom, stopping in front of the mirror. nothing had been moved since you left. everything was beside each other like it had always been, even the toothbrushes that were sitting in their stands. you don't even hear footsteps approaching as you stare mindlessly, feeling regret bubbling up inside you as your brain goes through everything that happened.

suddenly, a pair of arms wrap around your waist from behind, and you jump, turning around to see a tired daniela.

“you're really here?” she mumbles quietly.

“dani-” you start, but you're cut off by her gently pushing you against the sink and putting her face in the crook of your neck.

“‘m sorry,” she mutters into your skin. “‘m so sorry, please don't leave. please, yn,”

“dani,” you try to say as sternly as you can. “we aren't discussing this.”

dani pulls her head from your neck, looking down at you as her hands move up to cup your face. “please,” she whispers. “please,” she reiterates, leaning closer to you, her lips inches away from yours. “just give me a chance.”

your eyes meet her red bloodshot ones staring back at you, and you feel your throat close up. you can tell how upset she is and her genuinely being sorry, and it has you wanting to forgive her. but, she hasn't nearly felt like you did the past few months, which has been implemented into your mind by sophia who had seen you almost every day throughout it. “you know i can't do that,” your voice is quiet as you speak.

“i love you,” her voice cracks as her hands cradle your face. “wh-what do you want me to do? i’ll do anything you want, please.”

“there's nothing you can do right now,” you answer, though you’re not sure you believe yourself. “please just-”

you're cut off by daniela pressing her lips against yours. its the softest she's ever kissed you, as if she was worried you would break under her touch. you can practically feel the regret seeping from her as she kisses you, pouring all her heart and emotion into it. your hands grasp her shoulders and pry her away from you, looking at her. “dani, you have to let me leave. sophia is waiting outside and she's pissed off enough as is, i don't want her to start an argument with you,” you tell her.

“sophia?” dani’s face contorts into confusion. “you-you're not- are you?” she can't even get the words out, the thought making her want to throw up. it was obvious for a while now that the filipino girl had feelings for you, though you were either too blind to notice or just ignored it. but, what happened in the past couple of weeks?

“it doesn't matter, daniela,” you shake your head, gently pushing her away from you. “it should be nothing new for you, right?” you turn around and start grabbing your things, putting them in the bag.

the comment you make has dani looking down at the ground, knowing better than to try and counter it like she normally would. “i’m sorry,” she says.

“you can apologize as many times as you want, but it's not going to do anything,” you zip up the bag and turn back around to face her. “you can-” you stop yourself from continuing, shaking your head and walking past her out the bathroom.

“yn, please,” she follows every step you take towards the front door. “please just give me five minutes to talk to you, please.”

“i’m sorry, dani,” you say once reaching the door, pulling it open and walking out. you close the door behind you, half expecting her to follow you outside as well, but even after standing there for a minute, the door doesn't open.

you walk back to the car where sophia is waiting, and she stands up straight when she sees your expression.

“what happened?” she instantly questions.

“nothing,” you shake your head, putting the bag in the backseat and looking at sophia. “i just want to go back. i don't think i’ll last another minute here.”

“okay,” sophia nods, opening the passenger door and letting you get in before closing it.

…

“you want me to do what?” you stare at sophia with wide eyes. “i’m-i’m not doing that!” you shake your head quickly.

“yn, listen to me,” sophia says in a stern voice. “you know this is for the best.”

“no!” you continue to shake your head, standing up off the couch. “i am not calling the police on her! she's dealt with enough shit these past weeks.”

“and you’ve dealt with far more in the last months,” sophia says, standing when you do.

“i’m still not doing it!” you exclaim. “why-why would you even bring that up?”

“because we both know she should've been gone a while ago,” sophia answers.

“no, you think she should be gone!” you retort. “i know you’ve never liked her, but that does not mean you are going to convince me to call the cops! i-”

“still love her, i know,” sophia’s tone shifts slightly, but enough for you to notice. “you need to get over it.”

“get over it?!” you look at her like she's crazy. “this is two years of my life that have been wasted, sophia! i can't just ‘get over it’ like it's nothing! for two years i have loved her and now it's all gone! do you understand? i can't just get over it within a few weeks,” you fail to ignore the way she's taking steps towards you, too busy ranting angrily until she stops in front of you and tilts your head up to look at her with one hand.

“i’m sorry,” she says softly. “you know i care about you, i just don't want you to get more hurt than you already are,” she pushes some of your hair out of your face.

you can see the way her eyes flicker down and back up to your eyes, and you freeze in realization. “soph-”

“give me one week and i can prove you can get over her,” she cuts you off with this, her voice quiet.

she's serious, you can tell, which only makes you more nervous as you try to think of a response. part of you thinks you shouldn't do it, but a bigger part of you doesn't care.

“okay.”

…

you can't believe you're doing this. another week has passed, and somehow sophia has managed to convince you to get the police involved. you rub your temples as you sit in your car in front of the apartment, mentally praying this doesn't blow up in your face. it’s supposed to be easy, barely an inconvenience according to sophia. just go inside, see if dani is there, make a quick text and it's done. taking a deep breath, you get out of the car and walk up to the front door.

you knock on the door a few times, despite still having the key and could just walk up inside the place. you stand there for a minute or two, and you’re about to turn around and give up when the door unlocks and opens, there standing daniela.

“yn,” dani lets out in a single breath. to say she didn't expect you would be an understatement, for she thought you would be gone after the last time.

“can i come in?” you ask hesitantly.

“yeah, yeah,” she nods quickly, opening the door wider for you to walk in.

as soon as you walk in, you’re hit with an unfamiliar smell. lavender? odd. you raise an eyebrow as you step into the living room, seeing the place cleaned up since the last time you were there. the coffee table was clean of the former ash marks on it, the ceiling fan no longer held fuzz due to the smoke, the kitchen looked the best it had in over a year. you couldn't hide your surprise as you looked around.

“you really cleaned up,” you say.

“i tried,” dani mumbles. “i-i knew that you wouldn't like the mess i left…if you came back,” her voice is so quiet you can hardly hear what she's saying, but you do.

she was hoping for you to come back. she wouldn't have cleaned the place otherwise. she was right too, you would be upset with the mess she made a week ago. you look at the walls and see the pictures are still up, and you feel a tug on your heart as you look over them. god, you were starting to feel bad now. but, you had a plan. hopefully it would work out.

“dani-”

“wait,” she cuts you off suddenly. “i have something to give you,” she says before walking off into the bedroom.

you take your phone out of your pocket and send the message, quickly putting it back away when dani walks back into the living room with a bag in her hands. you look at her with confusion as she hands it over to you. taking the bag, you open it and look inside, reaching in and pulling out a book. your confusion grows bigger until you open the first page, and you realize what it is. it's a scrapbook, poorly made which means she did it herself, of every picture you two took over the two years. “dani…” you say quietly.

“you don't have to say anything,” dani says, looking down at the ground. “i just wanted to make sure you got it before…y’know…you leave officially.” she mumbles the last bit.

closing the book, you set it and the bag down, taking a few steps towards her and grabbing her hands causing her to look at you. “i’m not leaving,” you whisper, seeing her eyes widen. “but you have to listen to me very carefully right now.” your voice turns serious, which has dani looking at you with confusion. “the police are on their way, but dani, you have to-”

“what?!” daniela lets out in surprise. “wh-what the hell do you mean?!”

“dani, just listen to me,” you grab her shoulders firmly. “you haven't moved the stash in the safe, have you?”

“n-no,” dani shakes her head, clearly starting to panic as the sound of sirens gets louder. “yn, i can-i can't go to jail-”

“you’ll be there for a few days max,” you tell her, cutting her off of the beginning of her rant. “i'll keep everything going for you, don't worry. i'll get you out as soon as the bail is posted, okay? you're gonna be fine, i promise.”

daniela keeps shaking her head, her body trembling as she tries to keep calm. “i can't do this, i can't-”

“yes you can,” you say, holding her face in your hands. “you're going to be okay, i promise,” you tell her again. “just don't say anything to anyone, don't look at anyone. you’ll be out as soon as possible, okay?”

“okay,” dani nods slowly.

“i love you, okay? i haven't stopped loving you for one day,” you say, pecking her lips as the front door bursts open. “don't do anything stupid. i’ll be waiting for you.”

you somehow manage to keep relatively calm as you watch the police take her out of the apartment, seeing the look in her eyes as the car door slams shut. once you get back into the apartment with your bag of things, you toss it onto the couch and quickly go into the bedroom closet.

pulling out the safe, you type in the passcode and it unlocks and opens, revealing the large sum of money you told dani to start saving just in case something like this happened. you take out the stacks of green bills, putting them on the bed and sitting down, starting to count it.

…

the bail ended up costing almost everything in the safe, which both surprised you and didn't at the same time. you knew l.a. was insane with their charges, so it wasn't that big of a surprise. the bigger surprise, and funnier one, was the look on the authorities' faces when you handed over the bag of all the cash, who all stared at you with wide eyes counting every dollar. you had to sit and wait for an hour or two while they counted, but eventually they finished and told you it was enough, and that it would take a few days to process.

just like you’d promised, within the week you were standing outside the gate of the jail, leaning against your car waiting. you’re looking at your phone when you hear a loud buzzing noise, making you look up. a smile immediately curls on your lips and you stand up straight, putting your phone away watching the officer open the gate.

you watch as daniela slowly walks over to you, holding her bag of things she had on her when they took her. your arms instantly wrap around her when she's close enough, pulling her into your embrace as she puts her face in your neck.

“are you okay?” you ask quietly, running your hand through her curly hair.

“yeah,” she mumbles into your neck. “‘m just tired. the beds are rock hard.”

“i’m sure,” you nod, not moving. “you wanna get something to eat and then head back home?”

‘home’, dani’s brain repeats that word multiple times hearing you say it so casually after the hell that’s been this last month. you’re talking to her like nothing happened, and she doesn't know how to feel about it. there's still an immense amount of guilt she feels even after you telling her you didn't stop loving her. she still regrets everything she stupidly did.

“yeah,” she answers quietly after a long minute of silence.

…

walking into the apartment, you toss your keys on the dining room table, running a hand through your hair and letting out a quiet sigh. just one step inside the place and you’ve felt more relaxed than you have been in the months leading up to this. dani sets the rest of the food on the table and walks up to you, wrapping her arms around your waist from behind and pulling you close to her.

“i’m sorry,” she says in a murmur.

“dani, please don't-”

“listen to me, please,” she pleads before you can say anything else. “i…i know i fucked up, and i’m so sorry for everything i put you through. i can't say i know why i did it because i don't. all i c-can do now is apologize a-and apologize hoping you’ll s-stay. i’m r-really sorry, yn. i-i-” she starts stuttering over her words, tears welling in her eyes trying to keep herself from crying.

you turn around the second you hear her voice crack, seeing the tears brimming in her eyes and you cup her cheeks in your hands. “dani, breathe. it's okay, i’m not going anywhere. you don't have to worry, okay? i’m staying.”

“you are?” she asks, her voice cracking as a few tears fall from her eyes.

“yeah,” you nod your head, wiping the tears from her eyes with your thumbs. “i promise.”

as soon as those words leave your mouth, daniela is pressing her lips against you with so much energy you have to take a step back to try and steady yourself. her grip on your waist tightens ever so slightly as you kiss back, your hands tangling in her hair. she bites on your lower lip gently, pushing her tongue inside when you part your lips for her, a little moan coming from you at the action. when she pulls away, she's looking at you with a dazed, dark look in her eyes.

she doesn't say anything as she picks you up by your thighs, a yelp of surprise leaving your mouth as she walks over to the bedroom. laying you down on the bed, she crawls on it above you, peering down at you as you stare up at her.

“dani,” you whimper as her hands grab the hem of your shirt.

“let me show you how sorry i am?” she says, but it comes out sounding like a question. she doesn't move her hands, waiting for your answer before she does anything else.

“please,” your voice comes out in a whisper as you nod.

with one swift motion, dani pulls your shirt up over your head, reaching around your back and unclasping the bra you were wearing, tossing it somewhere in the room. she lowers her head and takes one of your nipples in her mouth, gently biting and sucking on it as you let out a gasp. your hand grabs her head as she swirls her tongue around your bud, removing herself after a long moment with a pop. she moves over to your other breast, doing the same thing as her hand drags down your bare torso. she stops at the waistband of your shorts, pulling her face away from your chest and looking down at you, waiting for you to give her the okay.

you nod your head again, and she pulls down your shorts along with the panties you were wearing. seeing your dripping core has a low groan coming from daniela as she spreads your legs apart, bringing a hand down between your thighs and dragging her fingers along your folds.

“fuck, baby,” she breathes out when she pulls her fingers away. “tell me how you want me,” she says softly, looking down at you.

you're not sure how to respond. there were a few times where she would say this, but it felt different this time. you can see in her eyes that she's genuinely caring about what you want to do, not what she wants to do. you can hear in her voice that she’ll listen and do whatever you want her to do. your head is already spinning, and you manage to get out a response. “your…fingers, please,” your voice comes out more desperate than you expected, but you couldn't help it. this was the most attention she'd given you in months, you didn't care about how desperate you sounded, because you were desperate.

nodding her head, dani quickly pulls off her shirt and leans down, kissing you deeply. your hands trail down her toned body, finding the buttons on her jeans and undoing them. parting from the kiss, daniela pulls her jeans down off her legs and is immediately kissing you again.

“i love you,” she murmurs against your lips, bringing her hand between your thighs. her fingers quickly find your clit and start rubbing small, slow circles on it, causing a whimper to escape your throat which she takes as the opening to slide her tongue into your mouth.

your hands tangle in her hair as your hips buck against her hand for more, which she notices. knowing better than to tease you right now, she brings two fingers down to your entrance and plunges them inside which has you moaning into the kiss. pulling away to breathe, your head hits the pillow under you as she starts thrusting her fingers in you at a steady pace. “fuck…dani,” you moan out.

dani starts kissing from your jaw down to your neck, repeatedly muttering against your skin how much she loves you whether it be directly saying it or giving little praises. she bites down occasionally, leaving little marks that will surely be seen for the next few days, feeling you squirm underneath her every time she does it. “i love you s’ much, my beautiful girl. my pretty girl,” she mumbles softly into your skin.

your face heats up in a fiery blush hearing her praising words against your skin, your arms hooking around her neck to pull her closer to you. “ngh, dani…” you whine into her ear. “f-fuck, feels so ah so good,”

a quiet moan comes from daniela as you whine her name directly into her ear, biting down into your neck to leave another mark as she speeds up her fingers. “i know, baby. you’re so tight around my fingers, you gonna cum, babygirl? you wanna cum all over my fingers?”

“yes!” you gasp, your walls clenching around her fingers at her words. “please, dani– please make me cum, pleasepleaseplease,” you beg shamelessly, your nails digging into her shoulders with a tight grip as your hips rock against her hand.

“i got you, princesa. cum for me,” she murmurs into your neck, feeling your walls tighten around her fingers as she curls them inside you.

with a scream-like moan and your back arching, your eyes roll back and you swear you see stars pop up in your vision as you cum around her fingers. your body trembles with the aftershocks, and a little whimper escapes your mouth when daniela pulls her fingers out of you.

“yn?” daniela says softly, seeing the exhausted look on your face when you turn your head to look at her. “i love you,” she whispers, hesitantly as if she were saying it for the first time.

a tired smile forms on your face at her words, how genuine she sounds while saying it. “i love you too,” you reply.

“are you mad at me?” she mumbles quietly. she pushes some of your hair out of your face, her hand cupping your cheek as her thumb draws small circles on your soft skin.

it takes a moment for you to respond. you could sense the guilt spilling through from the latina looking down at you, and you determined how to answer. “i was,” you start. “you put me through a lot these past few months, you know?”

“i know.” daniela’s voice is barely able to be heard at this point, her eyes averting from yours while she starts to move her hand away from you.

you're quick to grab ahold of her hand before she completely pulls away, not wanting her to feel worse than she already is. “but…” you say, seeing her eyes flicker back to you. “the day i came to get my stuff i knew how sorry you were. in all the different things we’ve been through, i’ve never seen you like that. we’ve driven up the state in one night and your eyes didn't have those big of bags under them when we finally woke up in that shitty hotel you claimed would be great. we’ve gotten scammed by those losers in that casino who took almost everything we had and you didn't even panic or get upset because you said you still had me even though we lost thousands. shit, do you remember when we were at manon’s for her birthday and we got so drunk that you were crying thinking i was going to leave you for her?” a giggle escapes your lips which has dani subconsciously smiling at the sound of it as she finally looks at you fully.

“i remember everyone teasing me for it, yes,” she replies with a nod.

“that was the only time i ever saw you like that,” you continue. “then when i came by the second time and i saw how much you cleaned the place – when you said that you knew i wouldn't like the mess if i came back, i knew you were hoping for me to come back. i could tell. i know you know you fucked up. but you are really gonna have to work hard to keep me here, okay?” you tell her, giving her a look that tells her you're serious without saying it.

“okay,” she instantly says, nodding quickly. “i’ll do anything you want me to, i promise.”

you nod along to what she says. “you're going to change the passwords back to what they were, you're going to let me see your phone, and you're going to block that bitch you saw. are we clear?” you say seriously.

“yes,” daniela’s voice comes out in a whimper at the tone in your voice as she nods again. “i’m sorry.” she shifts around above you when you suddenly wrap your arms around her and flip over so she's on her back below you, her eyes wide as she peers up at you.

“i know, baby,” you say, slowly dragging your hand down her body. “which is why you’ll let me have my fun with you, right? show me just how sorry you are?”

daniela’s face turns red at your words, goosebumps forming along her skin as you drag your hand down to the waistband of her underwear. “yes,” she whimpers.

“good,” you smile at her, leaning down and kissing her.

[vaspider]

Spider, can I ask you and your followers for some input in a situation? I want some unbiased opinions, especially from parents of adult kids (bonus if your adult kids are disabled). I've tried to be as unbiased as possible and include both sides. I am aware that you're under no obligation to actually answer, but I'm hoping that if you're not able to provide any input, then one of your followers might be able to.

TLDR at the end.

The context:

Basically, I am an adult in my late 20s. I haven't lived with my parents since they threw me out at 19 for being diagnosed with autism and they were told that I wasn't capable of living independently without years of occupational therapy. I was homeless for 13 months. Like literally two days later, they dropped me off at work, confiscated my house keys, and said to find somewhere else to sleep because I wasn't coming back home. (My parents insist that I wasn't actually homeless because I already had my current job and was able to afford to stay at a youth homeless shelter. I say "what the fuck do you think Homeless Shelter means??") After that, I was able to get a government grant for chronically homeless youth that allowed me to get a room in a student housing complex. It's not dorms, but it works like a dorm. I do have a private room.

My bedroom of my apartment is a mess. My bedroom has always been a mess. I have AuDHD and multiple disabilities, including extreme fatigue so that's not unexpected. During lockdown, it was especially bad. I had to move out of my last apartment in 2021 because one of my roommates was a bigot and my building wanted a new tenet so they could charge more rent, so between the two of them, they forced me out for being a "safety concern" due to the mess (the roommate did things like lie and say I didn't bathe, even though I was literally still wet from the shower). My parents ended up helping me pack up my stuff and move to a new place. I've been here for a few years and my roommates here have always been okay with the mess because it stays confined to my room.

(Also I wrote this at like 5AM and I'm half asleep but I wasn't going to be able to go back to bed until I ask someone unbiased. So please excuse any typos, and I hope everything makes sense and nothing came out as gibberish because sometimes by brain refuses to Word Good.)

The problem:

My mother decided when I moved in that my dad was going to be inspecting my bedroom in order to make sure it's clean. He's been putting her off but she's been on his ass about it for three years so he's finally caved and said that next time he's here to bring me something (I cannot drive due to disabilities), that he would be inspecting my room.

I do not want my room inspected. I've been very clear about that since day one. Yes, my room is a mess, but I'm also a grownass adult. My parents say that since they've given me some money for my rent over the past few years that they're entitled to inspect my room. I say that it's a violation of my autonomy. My room is my safe space. My mother is an obsessively clean person so growing up, my room wasn't really mine, and everything had to be to her standards whether I liked it or not (including things like what color I paint my furniture that I owned).

My parents do not care about my boundaries, and would say that since I've proven incapable in the past (re: because I'm disabled, not that they'd ever admit it), that they're trying to protect me by keeping me from being kicked out again.

I am skeptical about this and believe it's more about controlling me (see: throwing me out for having autism and just generally being extremely controlling my entire life). My parents have refused to stop giving me money for my rent every now and then (I have a job and pay at least the majority of my rent, but there are some months where business is slow and I don't get many hours, and no one wants to hire me because I act Autistic and use a cane) and I end up short. I have resolved to do everything I can to not need their help, including having my sister pick up my prescriptions, in order to avoid my parents coming over and inspecting my room.

Also, my building already does quarterly inspections and they've always been okay with my room, but I know my room won't be to my parents' standards. I don't have any local friends that I could ask for help cleaning up, but like, I'm a Spoonie. I clean my toilet and then have to go lay down because I'm getting dizzy. I am not making much progress myself.

The question:

Are my parents right? Have I shown that I cannot be trusted to keep my room clean, thus entitling them to come inspect it to make sure it's not a mess. They will definitely yell at me and have threatened to withdraw what support they do give me if my room is a mess or I refuse to let them inspect it? Or am I right to put my foot down and enforce my boundaries?

Side note, my parents have a history of being abusive and controlling. That's something I had to prove to the government to get my grant. They would insist that it's not abuse. Some of it was quite bad but I'm not going to get into it here.

TLDR:

I'm an adult with disabilities who has my own apartment. My parents think they're entitled to come inspect my room to make sure it's clean. I say that it's my apartment and I say no. They have threatened to withdraw what support they do give me if I refuse. Are my parents being unreasonable, or am I the one being unreasonable for refusing?

Your parents have no right to inspect your room. You are an adult. This is your apartment, not theirs. Your mother is wrong. Your parents are being invasive. I think they think they're being reasonable bc they care about your well being, but they aren't respecting your autonomy.

Sometimes, being a parent means you gotta let your kids not do things the way you would or even not do things the way that is best for them. It's hard, but it's necessary.

If you still lived with your parents and your lack of cleanliness was affecting their lives, it might be different ... but this is just your parents being fucking weird.

[fizzyapplecandy]

The Nerd in the Washroom

Ateez Seonghwa x Female Reader imagine

Genre: neighbours to lovers, classmates to lovers, slight fluff, smut, oral (f & m), lovely Seonghwa has a crush

Word count: 3k (Not proofread, editing on the way)

Ever since you've moved to Korea to study at university, you've been curious about your neighbour Seonghwa. You know him as the nerdy guy on campus who has a Lego Star Wars themed backpack, big glasses, and a new fluffy sweater for every day of the week.

Others might find him boring, but you found him intriguing. You couldn't help but think there was something more to him than his nerdy looks.

You were certainly proven right while bumping into him in the laundry room of your complex - chest muscles on display, and an obvious huge bulge in his grey sweatpants.

.

.

.

"Oh my God, here he goes again. I wonder if you can catch his nerdiness in the air?"

"I think you're being a tad dramatic Jiun."

She scoffed and continued to snicker with the boys behind her. Their target - Park Seonghwa.

His appearance never bothered me, so I didn't engage in their gossip. Maybe it's because I never shared the same opinion as them. Jiun is my friend, and if it weren't for her I'd be stuck in a corner without friends. That didn't mean I shared all of her opinions.

"Don't you think you've talked about him enough? Jesus, he's just a guy. Besides, I've seen him around my building, he seems pretty normal."

The silence that followed my statement was ice cold. I could practically feel Jiun's stare.

"Y/N, sweetie, are you okay? Do you have a fever? Here, let me check, because what you're talking about is disturbing."

I slapped her hand away as she came for my forehead. Did I mention she could be a bit pushy?

"I'm fine. I just don't get why you would bother to talk about him so much. It kind of gives "middle school" vibes " I grabbed my pen and started taking down some notes. I was done with their nonesense.

"Woah, it seems like somebody has a crush on the nerd. Didn't think you went for that type of guy Y/N."

I scoffed and tuned out their snickering. Me? Having a crush on Seonghwa? No way. I just felt bad about the way they were talking about him. They didn't even know the guy. And hey, he may be a super nerd, and he may carry around a Star Wars backpack, but... Yeah, well that didn't make his case better.

I looked at him, sitting in the front row. He jutted something in his notebook before highlighting it with a pink pen. He seemed satisfied with it, a small smile gracing his features. He looked... Pretty.

Ironically, we lived in the same off-campus building. I've seen him around, wearing his pink sweatshirts, white headphones on his head. He always smelled nice, like a flower field. Made me question what kind of detergent he used. We never spoke, but he always nodded politely when we crossed paths.

Before I got list in my thoughts, the professor came in. Time to face reality.

.

.

.

"I've got to stop piling up laundry."

In my defense, I am a full time university student, with a part time online job. I don't exactly have time for laundry. Not to mention I don't even have a washing machine in my apartment. I would have to go three flights of stairs down to the basment, where our laundry room was located. It was old, a bit run down, but hey, it got the job done.

With a huff, I picked up my basket and made my way down. It was getting hotter as the days went by. We were approaching July, and my usual home wardrobe consisted of pyjama shorts and a white tank top. I left my bra in my bedroom, beacuse I haven't seen anybody use the old washroom besides myself. Occasionally, Seonghwa, but we've never been down there at the same time.

"Jesus, my arms hurt."

I opened the door with my butt, having my hands full. As I Iifted the basket I couldn't see a thing in front of me.

And as I finally put it down, I was in for a surprise.

There, with his eyes wide, pants low on his hips, pecks on full display stood none other that Seonghwa.

My expression became a mirror of his own, eyes wide and mouth open. I made the grave mistake of glancing down. Right at the surprisingly massive buldge in his gray sweats.

Holy shit.

Who knew nerdy boy was like Hercules underneath all of the pink fluff.

Before I could help myself, I gasped.

"Oh my... Sorry. I..."

He grabbed a shirt from his (surprise) pink basket, putting it in front of his chest.

"No! I mean... I'm sorry? I don't know, oh god."

"You're... Wow" What? Come on Y/N, get it together.

"I'm...? Thanks? I guess."

My eyes grew wider, flapping my hands around.

"No, no, no. I didn't mean it like that! Well, kind of, but... Did I? I don't know."

Seonghwa's ears and cheeks turned red and he flicked his own forehead.

"Of course you didn't mean it like that. Sorry, you caught me off guard." He smiled bashfully, looking at the ground now.

"Talk about catching people off guard. Dude, you're ripped."

My amazed expression could not be kept at bay. Boy, oh boy, I could feel myself getting hotter by the second.

" I wouldn't say that, but... Thanks, I guess?" Seonghwa smiled, this time looking at me. Or specificly, my tits.

I guess going without a bra has its benefits.

"Seen something you like?" I teased, putting my hands behind my back, jutting out my chest.

"Well... I... I have to say, I've never seen someone as hot as you, so..."

I hid my surprise behind a smile. Was he trying to flirt with me?

"I think you should come closer to take a better look."

I honestly thought this would be the moment he backed off, but again, he managed to exceed my expectations.

Without a word, he put down the shirt in his hands, walking over slowly. He stopped a foot away from me, his eyes locked onto mine. I had to strain my neck to look up at him. He was tall, and I liked that.

"Now that I'm up close, I can definitely say it. I've never seen someone as hot as you, Y/N."

I took another small step towards him, almost making our chests touch. His breathing was shallow, and I knew he was trying to keep his cool.

"Tell me, Seonghwa... Are the fluffy jumpers and nerdy backpacks only a cover-up? Why are you hiding this delicious body from the world? Hm?"

I slowly placed my index finger on his chest, bringing it down his stomach, only stopping when I heard his sharp inhale. His muscles contracted, and you could count his abs perfectly.

"Well, I... It's easier this way, I suppose. I don't particularly like attention."

I nodded. "Ah... A bit shy, are you? It doesn't seem like it to me. But I could be wrong."

"I am shy. You're just too pretty, and I like pretty things. I guess I also have a bit of a crush on you. It's stupid, I know. You'd never be with someone like me, but it's wishful thinking."

A crush? On me? I guess my dumfounded expression wasn't as well managed, because Seonghwa giggled a bit.

"How on Earth could I have known that? You never even speak to me. And, hey! Give yourself some credit! You're like, super smart, and you're handsome. It's quite ridiculous how good looking you are. Even with that backpack of yours."

"Which one, the Lego or Star Wars?"

I laughed out loud this time, patting him on the chest.

"You're funny. So, what do you want to do to me? I have to say, I am more than open to prove you wrong about your 'wishful thinking' if you want."

I could feel his heartbeat under my palm, and it seemed to pick up with my question. He gulped before opening his mouth, closing it, and opening it again. He seemed at a loss for words.

"I... I never thought I'd get this far, to be honest. But, God... The things I'd do to you...

Before I could tease him again, his lips were on mine.

I don't know if someone has ever kissed me with such passion. His hands were all over me - first my hair, my throat, my arms... He settled them over my hips and pulled me towards him. I couldn't help myself eather. My arms went around his broad shoulders. Our kiss grew urgent, and the hair grew heavier with each sigh of pleasure we left out.

His tongue prodded into my mouth, caressing mine. I don't know who pulled away first, but thank god, because I needed some air. And I needed to do something else.

I looked into his eyes as I dropped to my knees. My head was perfectly aligned with his impressive buldge. He was a bit taken aback, lips red and puffy, eyes wide.

"You don't have to do that, you know. I am perfectly content kissing the shit out of you for, like, forever."

"Seonghwa?" "Yes?" "Shut up and drop your pants."

"Yes ma'am."

With that, he pulled down his sweats, and surprise surprise, there were little starships and baby Yodas printed on his boxers.

"Please, for the love of everything sacred, and my pride, do not say anything about it now."

I pretended to zip my mouth shut, grabbing at his boxers to get them out of my way. I was a woman on a mission.

His cock was as pretty as the rest of him. Big, with a pink tip. I slowly carresed the head, making it pulse in the air. Seonghwa left out a breathy moan, putting his hand on my head. He didn't urge me, he simply slipped my hair though his fingers.

"I've never seen such a pretty cock before. It matches you perfectly."

I gripped him tighter, making him moan a bit louder this time.

"Thanks... I... Oh god."

He couldn't finish his sentence because I took the chance to lick his cock from his balls to his head. My lips wrapped around the pink bulb and I sucked at it like it was a lolly.

His hand soon fisted my hair, pulling a bit tighter every time I lowered my head some more. Soon enough, with a bit of a struggle, I took all of his glory into my mouth. There was droll everywhere, but I didn't care. Neither did he, judging by his moans.

"Oh my... I knew you'd be good at this... Look at you, drolling all over me. I think you can take it a little rougher, am I right?"

With that, he thrusted his hips up, and his cock hit the back of my throat. I gagged, but I wasn't about to give up. I relaxed my muscles and began bobbing up and down, going faster when I felt his first tightening in my hair.

"That's it... What a good girl... Just like that..."

His words only made me speed up, encouraging me to finish him off. It seemed like he had other plans, because I was pushed off his cock and up on my feet in seconds.

"Sorry doll, but I don't want to cum unless it's in you."

He picked me up and sat me on one of the washing machines. It creeked with my weight on it, and we chuckled before sharing another kiss. This time it was slower, more passionate.

"Do you know how pretty you are right now? With your lips all pink and glossy... I could kiss you all day long. I could also keep your mouth on my cock forever... You're too good at it."

I spread my legs to let him get closer. My shorts were soaked, and he could feel it.

"Thanks babe, I was trying to impress you."

"Oh doll, you did a fantastic job. Let me show you what I can do now."

Without another word, he crouched down. His hands went up my legs, caressing them on the way up. His touch was soft, feather like. Until he got to my sleep shorts, and almost ripped them off me.

"Impatient, are we?"

He chuckled. "You have no idea doll."

Seonghwa was a bit surprised with my lack of panties, but he was also glad. One less layer to take care off.

He slowly parted my pussy lips, eyes focused on my wetness.

"Good god... I could look at you all day."

"Seonghwa, please, look at it all you want another time. I'm gonna bust up here."

He let out a laugh, nodding his head.

"I'm gonna hold onto that promise."

I didn't get to reply because he went right in on my clit. His tongue was doing wonders, going up and down, left to right, keeping a steady pace. He sucked on my little nub, watching me carefully.

"You taste so sweet doll. I knew you would. I could stay here forever."

"I won't complain if you do."

He chuckled and went right back at it. I can't remember the last time someone was this devoted to eating me out. Probably never.

His fingers prodded at my entrance, slowly punching one inside. His tongue kept going over my clit, making me shake.

"Keep going baby, I'm so close..."

My words only encouraged him to go faster, more eager. His finger reached my sweet spot, pushing against the gummy walls. I could feel my orgasm coming. It took a sharp suck on my little nub, and I was out.

"Yes! Oh my! Oh Seonghwa..."

My moans soon turned into little cries, the overstimulation making me more sensitive. It seemed like he wasn't going to stop, so I had to push his head away.

He came up and kissed me roughly, grabbing my boobs and squeezing.

"Sorry doll, got a bit lost. You have the sweetest pussy..."

"I think it's time you use those hips now, don't you agree?"

"You are absolutely right. What a smart girl you are."

I giggled and put my legs around his hips, pulling him into me. He understood my intentions, pushing his pants all the way down. He stroked his cock a few times before slowly pushing it in.

We both let out a sigh after he was fully inside.

"My god doll, you're so tight. You suck me right it. I think we were made for this, you know?"

I nodded and put my hands around his neck. Our foreheads touched, and we gazed into each others eyes. I slowly nodded, and he started thrusting into me.

His pace was slow at first, almost as if he was soaking it all in. His hands grabbed my ass, squeezing every time his cock plunged into my pussy.

"Y/N, doll... We have to do this every day, you know? It's the only logical option."

I smiled, kissing him again.

"Yeah, you think so? I have to say...Ah... I agree."

He speed up, moaning loudly while I clenched around him. It was difficult to keep my hands at bay, so I caressed his chest and shoulders. His broad, sexy shoulders. Without much thought, I sank my teeth into his neck, trailing bites down to his shoulder.

Seonghwa gasped, squeezing me even more.

"Do that again doll. Do it harder."

I listened, putting my head on the opposite side, doing the same thing. I was a bit rougher now, leaving deep teeth marks.

"You're mine now, I left my mark." I was only half joking, but it seemed to make him even more eager in his movements.

"I'm yours. I'm yours, however you want me."

I squeezed his cock again, tightening my walls while he pushed them even deeper inside me. I could feel my orgasm approaching again, and I could tell Seonghwa was hanging by a thread.

"I'm close doll, your pussy is just so good... Come on, you've got to cum with me. I need to feel your pussy pulsating around me."

"I'm close, I'm so close. Please, please..."

He put his fingers on my clit, rubbing fast circles, making me clench even more.

"Cum for me Y/N."

With his whispered words, my orgasm crashed through me like a truck. Seonghwa was seconds behind, groaning in pleasure. I could feel his cum painting my walls, milking his cock until he started shaking.

We hugged, our breaths laboured as we got down from our highs. He took a deep breath, running his fingers through my locks.

"That was..."

"Yeah..."

"We should totally..."

"Yeah..."

He chuckled at my lack of articulate responses. I was in no shape to form a sentence.

He slowly pulled out of me, watching as his cum dripped onto the old washing machine.

"We made a mess doll."

"Yeah, well, I don't care honestly. That was just wow. "

Seonghwa grabbed my shorts, pulling them up my legs before helping me get off. My legs were shaking, so I leaned into him. He hugged me close, kissing the top of my head.

"Do you think you'd be up for a date maybe? I mean, only if you want to. If you don't that's okay, I get it. I am a bit of a nerd after all."

"Yes."

"I get it, I am reasona - Yes?"

"Yes, I'll go on a date with you. But only if you let me wear that cute pink sweater of yours."

"You can wear all of my sweaters if you want."

"Well now that wouldn't be practical, would it?"

.

.

.

"Did you see the residential nerd this morning? He's got a new backpack. And guess what? It's pink!"

"Hey isn't that Y/N?"

"What?"

Jiun turned around and locked eyes with me, and my newly acquired boyfriend. Seonghwa took me on a date this weekend, and we bought matching baby pink backpacks. Way to introduce us as a couple, am I right?

I waved at my friends, motioning to the seat next to Seonghwa's, basically telling them I'm moving.

Jiun was a bit stunned, but the smile she gave me was genuine. Seonghwa glanced at me, interlocking our pinkies.

"You don't mind sitting with the nerd now?"

"Not at all big boy, not at all..."

[spencewalterreid]

The Red Means I Love You

Summary: Spencer came into the restaurant you work at when you were in a bad mood, but nonetheless he has to see you again.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female First-person POV

Category: Fade to Black Smut (TV-14)

Warnings: dirty talk, switch!Reid!!! switch!Reader, first person pronouns no use of y/n, date nights,hair pulling, neeeerd spencer, reader works at a truck stop, fade to black smut, smooches, second base. I think that should be it?

Word count: 4.3k

Author's Note: Hello again ladies!! I'm not sure how I haven't yet come across a riff fic off of Spencer and Cat's scenes, but here it is!! Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying they were a good pair, but the way their characters played off of one another was positively scrumptious. Here's an indulgence into that.

The first time it happened, I was working a 14-hour shift at a truck stop diner. I’d started my shift right out of school, and I was working until the next morning. Just an hour before he’d come in, we were slammed – every table in the store was full, and I’d only just gotten all the tables bussed. I was exhausted, my manager was hounding me, and I was on the verge of a full-blown breakdown. When refilling a Dr. Pepper for the jackass at table 32 who I had to argue with over the burger that he specifically requested onions on, I glanced up at the door as the bells rang. Oh.

He is... stunning.

My attention was abruptly yanked out of my daydream about the gorgeous boy that had just walked in with a handful of other people, and I looked down at my right hand wrapped around the plastic cup, which is now cold and drenched in the sticky beverage. Goddamn it.

“Boys, are you dining in?” I asked cheerfully as I grabbed a new straw, a smile plastered across my face. Stay professional. Stay professional. Stay professional.

“Yeah, we’ve got–” he paused to turn around and count heads– “six,” said one of the three men. Not the pretty one, though he was by no means ugly. He was tall, but not the tallest of the group (that title belonged to the one that caught my eye), with broad muscles laced under dark skin. He had a great smile. 

I glance back at table 32, who was rolling his eyes at the few-second delay. “Wherever you like,” I reply, swiftly returning to this grumpy-ass trucker. “Your refill, sir! Anything else I can get for you?”

He blatantly ignores me.

“If you change your mind, just holler,” I added, and as I turned to walk away:

“You can get me a new fuckin’ burger, this one got cold while I was waiting for you to finish flirting.” He slammed the second burger I’d brought to him back down onto the tray. Fuck you, dude. I’m already getting chewed out by the kitchen, but cool! Yeah! Okay!

“Yes, sir. I apologize, I’ll be right back out.” As I walked away with his tray, shifting it between fingers so as not to scald my fucking hand, I let a subtle sigh escape from my lungs.

10 seconds at the door. 30 seconds at the table. 15 minutes for food. 1 minute to bus.

I remind myself for the umpteenth time today of what’s supposed to be the restaurant policy. That had been out the door since 4:30 that afternoon and it is now… I glanced at the clock above the window as I slid the tray back onto it… 12:57 in the morning. Sick. Can’t wait to see the reviews.

“What was wrong with it this time?” The chef snapped, yanking the tray back.

“I’m just as annoyed as you are, I promise. He said it got cold. Just…”

She cuts me off. “Leave it there for a few minutes and come back. I’m not making a whole new burger.”

I did not roll my eyes, thank you very much.

Wheeling around on the balls of my feet and carefully controlling my breath, I picked up 6 menus and a matching number of silverware on the way to the round booth the group had settled into. I flip[ed on a positive tone to greet them. “Howdy, howdy! How are you folks-”

“Just say the word, and I’ll see him out,” the dark man interjected. The rest stared at him in partly shock, partly reprimand. I think the silver-haired one was his superior, he was carrying the ‘don’t interrupt her, asshole’ look.

“Uhm, sorry?” I glanced around the mostly-empty store, divvying up the hardware on the table in the meantime.

“The old fuck over there. If you want him to leave, I’ll make it happen.” He crossed his arms over his chest, looking me dead in the eyes. I chuckled uncomfortably.

“No, that’s okay.” I have a feeling he was not kidding. I swept my eyes along the table to make eye contact with each person as I introduced myself, but I risked a few seconds longer for the boy on the far left. “I’m gonna be your server tonight. You folks know what you’d like to drink?”

They rattled off their drink orders one by one (The dark-haired woman asked for scotch and I’m only a little sure she wasn’t being serious, and the one with the colourful clothing almost squeaked in joy when she saw strawberry lemonade on the menu), but the sweet-looking boy on the end took the longest.

“Sir?” I nudged, tilting my head down to catch his gaze under his hair.

“Yes, uh, what kind of coffee do you serve?” he inquired, pushing his menu in front of him on the table, trying to straighten the edge flush against the side of the table.

I stammered. “It’s just black coffee…” I replied uncertainly, glancing at the other members of the group.

“They don’t serve frappuccinos, Reid. Do you want the coffee or not?” the second blonde woman sighed, and I think she was probably just as far down her rope as I was. That slips from my mind, though, at the mention of his name. Reid. Cute.

“No, I just meant the roast,” he clarified, but at the uncomfortable look on my face, he conceded. “Yeah. Black coffee, please.”

If he slumped any further down, I think the booth would swallow him.

—-—-

The second time it happened, he caught me on a better day. Our breakfast rush wasn’t too bad, and I actually had a second server helping me that day. It was almost noon, and I was feeling far lighter than I was the last time. When I glanced up at the chime by the door, a smile far more genuine than last time crossed my face.

“Hello again!” I chirped, wiped my hands on my apron, and pretended not to notice his flinch. “Just you today?”

He returned my smile, albeit feeble. “Yes. It’s just me.” 

“It’s Reid, right?” Grabbing a menu and silverware, I followed him over to the same booth he’d occupied with the other five people last time.

“No, I- Well, yes. Derek uses my surname. It’s Spencer,” he replied, sinking into the fake leather and glancing around the store. “It’s busier than last time.”

Setting the menu in front of him, I followed his gaze. “Well, yeah, it was the middle of the night.”

“The coffee was Colombian roast with hazelnut,” he said. Huh? “You seemed confused when I asked what kind it was.” He nodded, like he was trying to remind himself. “That’s what it was.”

“Oh.” Did his lips look that soft last time? His sleeves are folded up his arms this time. “Your hair looks pretty,” I said before I could stop myself. Shut up, shut up, shut- “It matches your eyes.” My smile softens the compliment, but I don’t think that made him any less confused.

“T-thank you,” he replied softly, pushing it back on instinct. Change the topic.

“Do you, uhm.” I clear my throat and shift my weight. “Would you like a coffee, then?”

He shook his head with a grimace. “Absolutely not. It was awful.”

He’s funny. I guess I didn’t throw him too far off-course.

“Why did you order it, then?” I asked, not unkindly. He turned pink. Pretty.

“I didn’t want to make you more stressed than you already were.” Reid– No. Spencer adjusted the strap of his cross-body bag. 

“Did I seem stressed?” I asked, quickly chancing a look behind me to check for my manager. We’re in the clear.

“Ye- No, not like that. I’m, uh. I’m trained to read people well. You were walking at an abnormally quick pace, and you kept looking around when you were at other tables, even though there were very few, as though any second you’d be pulled away." He straightened slightly, setting his shoulders, as if he were in his element, but he still doesn't look at me, his eyes cast down. "When you were filling our drinks, you poured some out and refilled it more than once, which I assume was to achieve a perfect ratio, or at least one you perceive as such. And–” he looked up from his menu that I’m positive he wasn’t reading to look me in the eyes. “And the man at table 32 was being very curt with you. That would cause stress. Your manager behind the window wasn’t making it any better, I bet.”

I scoffed incredulously. “Good memory,” I said with a smile. “That was impressive. Yeah, I wasn’t in the best mood that night.” My voice lowered to a conspirational whisper, but I didn’t let my facial expression change. “But you helped. You have no idea how far a little bit of kindness goes. And hey, I never got the chance to tell you I was sorry for messing up your order.”

Spencer shook his head, stretching and relaxing his fingers above the table for something to do. “It was just a salad. I just took the tomatoes off, it was no problem.”

I smiled softly. He’s so sweet. “Do you know what you’d like to drink, Spencer Reid?”

He let himself genuinely laugh. “Good memory,” he repeats, an air of light-hearted sarcasm to his tone. “I’d like a sweet tea with lemon and– actually. I know I shouldn’t ask, and you absolutely do not have to answer, but uhm… when do you have a lunch break? Maybe we could-”

“Right now. I’ll be right back,” I replied, taking off my apron and walking to the back to alert my manager (thankfully, a different one than the overnight one.) They could manage without me for an hour. I was not passing him up a second time.

——

The third time it happened, we were on our third date. Spencer wanted to go to a museum, I wanted to do something a bit more interactive. We agreed on an aquarium.

“Actually, Parrotfish are one of my least favourite of the wrasse family, and definitely least favourite of the Labridae,” he countered when I insisted their colours were pretty.

“I didn’t say they were my favourite, Reid, I said they were pretty."

“No, I know, but I’m just saying.” He was practically vibrating, balling a fist and unballing it, and I could tell he needed to tell me number 1,001 of his facts in the last hour.

I sighed, an affectionate smile on my face as I turned around and leaned on the rocky wall. “Why are they one of your least favourites?”

Reid offered me a toothy grin. “The parrotfish has a tendency to coat itself in a bubble of its own mucus and saliva in order to protect itself from parasites and predators. It’s intended to mask their scent. Many refer to it as an underwater sleeping bag,” he explained with a grimace. Oh, that’s why. “I’m positive it only spreads bacteria, and if fish could get sick in the same way as homosapiens, they would all be sick all of the time.”

“You know, not for nothing, but I wouldn’t mind your saliva all over me.”

“Ugh! Gross!” Spencer staggered backward, glaring at me. “Don’t say things like that.”

I pout. “You’re not even a little curious what I taste like, Dr. Reid?” I stalked up to him, mocking a femme fatale in one of those cheesy black-and-white spy movies.

“Stop it.” He swallowed thickly and when I went to lay my hands on the sides of his neck, his instinctively found my hips. He glanced at my lips. I stared at his.

“Make me,” I whispered, deciding eye contact was a better choice. Good god, his face was red.

His mouth parted slightly and he squeezed my hips, then adjusted his bag. “Enough,” he asserts, and I’d be lying if that didn’t turn me on. In all honesty, I was totally doing a bit and I was just about to back off anyway, but yeesh. For the sake of my own sanity, I giggled and pushed off of him. He sighed in relief.

“Fish can get sick,” I said, changing the topic back to what he'd said about the parrotfish to ease his nerves. When he took more than a half a second to reply, I started to doubt myself. “Can’t they?”

“Well, yes, but not… not ill. They can’t have a sickness like we can. They just feel sick. Like, if they swim upside down, or have issues breathing, or if the water quality is poor.”

I pushed myself off the wall and linked a finger around the strap of his bag, dragging him along behind me. “Alright, last section. Lock and load, you’ve got…” I glanced at my phone. “13 minutes to give me as many facts as you can. Go.”

–

Spencer insisted (according to Date Etiquette 101 from Professor Derek Morgan) that on the third date, he had to take me to a romantic dinner. He still wants to stop by his apartment to get changed, so we’re on the way there now, and have 1 hour, 42 minutes and counting to get to our reservation. I brought a bag with makeup and a change of clothes so I could get done up too and not have to go all the way across town to my place.

Y'know, you wouldn't think it, but he's really a reckless driver. It isn't that he doesn't understand the rules of the road or how to follow them. It's more that he knows them well enough that he feels confident in breaking them. It's kinda sexy. He drives with his left hand only barely touching the wheel and his right hand in mine. It took him a long time of being around me to be okay with physical contact, but now that he's to that point, he's incredibly clingy. He turns a 25-minute drive into 18, and I guarantee that's only because there was a fair amount of traffic.

–

“Are you almost ready?” I hear a rustling sound on the other side of the door, then a muffled, soft scraping noise that suggests he just sat on the floor (which by the way, is clean enough you could eat off of it) against the door. I’m in his room also sitting on the floor, utilizing a full-body mirror against his wall, carefully tweaking my eyeliner. Reid didn’t want to see me before the date, said it was bad luck. It’s strange what he chooses to be superstitious about.

“Almost. 1 minute.” I lean back, raking my fingers through my hair and checking my appearance. Not to toot my own horn, but toot fucking toot, I look downright strapping. “Okay!”

Just as the word leaves my mouth, the bedroom door is flying open and he’s barrelling in, but he stops dead in his tracks as he sees me. “Wow.”

I spin in a little circle, my black, mid-thigh corset dress making a dome around me. “You like?”

Spencer approaches slowly, his eyes scanning me head to toe, right to left, and everything in between. “You… are magnificent.” His fingers twitch when he’s about a foot away from me as though he wants to touch me but chickens out. I gently take his hands and place them on my hips, emboldening him to slide his touch upward, over my waist and around to my back. I pretend not to notice his repeated glances at my breasts, as does he.

“Et toi, mon amour,” I reply, a fresh grin painted across my lips. “You look hot.”

He makes a sour face. “You ruined it.”

My jaw drops and I take a step back, feigning offence. His grip falls from my sides. “Fuck did I do? I can’t call you hot now? I’ve said that a thousand times, calm down.”

“I was being a gentleman,” he pouts. “You’re just being crude.”

“That’s not crude, Dr. Reid. If you want crude-”

“No! No, don’t do that. Save it.” He chuckles, stepping forward again and putting his hands right back where they were. I don’t stop him. “Just hush.”

I let him look at me for a few seconds, and I, him. Just a few until I started getting squeamish under the scrutiny. “Okay. Enough, we need to go,” I interject, pressing against his chest gently with my fingers splayed out. With a glance at the clock behind me, he nods.

“Après toi, ma chérie.”

–

Fancy, fancy FBI boyfriend-not-boyfriend rented out a whole room for us. Candle in the middle of a two-seater table, a window into the main room so we can see what’s going on, and a record player in the corner. The decor is upscale, but not obnoxiously proud. Lots of wood, mostly dark, but light walls. He even goes so far as to pull out my chair for me. 

We’re almost to the end of our meal and I’m taking pin-sized bites to try and draw it out. Reid has already called me out for it twice, but I have blatantly ignored him.

“Spencer,” I begin, cutting off a conversation about the history behind the Hays code and its relevance in a specific episode of Supernatural.

“Hm?” He straightens up, clearing his throat.

“I have a stupid question. You don’t have to answer it.”

“Go ahead.”

“What was your first impression of me?” My voice is low, unsure. I have time to cross my legs, then uncross them, then look at him, then back at my lap before he begins to reply.

“I thought you were pretty. You seemed agitated,” he says, slow, haltingly, like he isn’t sure if that’s the answer I wanted. It wasn’t.

“No, after that. When we started going out. What kind of person do you think I am?”

Spencer hums, folding his hands and leaning back. The seconds tick by like minutes, and god he looks delectable.

“You’re self-assured and conduct yourself as though you think you’re the greatest person in the world. You hand out compliments like candy and you flirt like you’re dying tomorrow because you want people to find you exciting. You think you have to have major sex appeal to attract a partner, which isn’t true, it’s actually quite off-putting.”

“You think having major sex appeal is off-putting?” I interrupt.

“No, I think overdoing it to the point of-”

“I’m not overdoing it! It’s just the way I am.”

“I’m not saying-”

“It’s just that-”

“If you’d stop interrupting me, I’d answer your question.”

I shut my mouth. That was hotter than it needed to be.

“Thank you. As I was saying, it’s clear to others, or at least to me, that you do not feel that way about yourself in the slightest. For the sake of honesty and because I always answer your questions to the fullest of my abilities, I’d say you find yourself almost repulsive."

My stomach twists. Does he find me repulsive? Why would he think I feel that way? Better question: How does he know I feel that way?

"When you first began getting into relationships, you were probably up-front about that because you didn’t know any better, but quickly learned people internalize what you tell them. So, to combat that reaction, you started acting like all you wanted from people was sex so it didn’t matter whether they liked you or not, which led to a lot of meaningless flings that left you feeling worse than you did when you were single.”

If my jaw were any lower, it’d be on the floor. I swallow my arguments.

“Tell me more about my sex life, then, Dr. Reid. Since you know so much.” I’m hoping he knows me well enough to know I didn’t mean that to be as bitter as it sounded. He does.

“You project dominance because you fear loss of control, not to mention your hatred of your own body. You wouldn't ever want to be the receiver in a sexual situation, or at least you wouldn't ask for it for worry of your partner finding you less-than-satifactory."

I fight the urge to ask if he'd feel that way, even as I know his answer.

"You only lightly dabble in more aggressive sexual habits, but your enthusiasm whether or not it comes across as joking suggests there’s more truth in it than you’d like for there to be.” He pauses, and I’m not sure whether it’s because he’s trying to remember his next line or it’s because I distracted him when I leaned forward to lean my chin against my palm. I forgot how much of my cleavage this dress shows. He licks his lips and moves on more elegantly than I thought he would. I take advantage of his silence.

“What about you, Dr. Reid?”

He blinks. “What?”

“What about your sexual habits?”

“I, uhm-”

I stand up and walk over to him, placing my hand on his shoulder before I settle on his knee. His hand goes to my thigh nearest to him and he catches my eyes, careful not to look away.

“Well?”

His composure repairs itself like magic.

“It depends on my partner,” he says, his voice lower than it was before, and I swear his eyes are darker than they were a few minutes ago. “I tend to let my partner set the pace. I can embrace aggression if the circumstance proves it necessary.”

Holy shit.

This, my dear reader, was the third time I thought: I’d really like to see just how red I could make you.

“What about me?” I ask, my throat dry. I think I’m more nervous than he is, but I’m taking it like a champ. I look down at Spencer’s hand (his very pretty hand, his very big hand, across my entire thigh. Has it moved up?), but he’s not having it. His free hand goes up to hold my chin firmly, and with utter and total reverence, he lifts my face to look him in the eyes again.

“What about you, beautiful?" He watches me carefully, brown eyes full of intent. My self-control right now is dazzling.

And if I said a little thank-you prayer to God for not giving me a dick with which I would be cursed with a boner right now, then maybe that’s nobody’s business.

“What kind of aggression would you use with me?” I bite my lip and swallow, staring at his lips. Perfect, perfect boy.

He studies me for a moment, and I think he’s trying to make me squirm on purpose. His hand hasn’t left my chin, the bastard.

“Keep talking," he prompts. Yes, sir.

I could not tell you, gun to my head, where the fuck I got my bravery from, but hallelujah holy shit.

“Would you grab me by the throat and hold me against a wall?" Woah, where did that come from? Go me. "Would you hold onto me so hard it bruised? Would you leave marks that wouldn’t go away for weeks? Would you ever hurt me, Dr. Reid?” If he notices my face getting so hot it would rival the sun, then it was sweet of him not to address it.

“Is that what you want?”

“I guess I just want to know if you could,” I reply, my left hand coming up to his face, my fingertips tracing his bottom lip, my eyes glued to the point of contact.

“You have no idea what I could do, given enough provocation,” he whispers, finally allowing his eyes to fall to my mouth, parted slightly in awe.

“Are you gonna kiss me or not, Spencer?”

Rather than responding to me, his grip on my chin loosens for favour of travelling down my jaw, then to the back of my neck, curling into my hair, pulling just hard enough for me to feel the tension. “Fix your attitude,” he asserts, and then his lips are on mine and it’s all passion and fury and the taste of chocolate. I moan into his mouth on instinct, and his grip on my hip tightens.

If there’s one thing about Spencer Reid, it’s that he exists as a multitude. And if there’s two things, it’s that he kisses like a man fucking starved. Like he’s been suffocating slowly in a room with no oxygen, and once he gets a mask, he’s not letting it go. He’s teeth in lips, he’s hands roaming, he’s furrowed brows and mouths parting.

His right hand roves over my thigh furthest from him, dipping under my skirt just barely. He stays under the fabric and moves his hand to the top of my thigh, then braving the inside. He’s squeezing once or twice everywhere he touches, like the cliche of saying pinch me. I spread my legs instinctively.

As quick as it started, it stops.

I whine, my eyes opening slow like molasses.

“This is an incredibly uncomfortable position,” he pants. I only just realized the poor thing is not exactly on a sofa made for two. I may be snug as a bug in his lap, but the arms of the chair are digging into the sides of his legs. The recollection of our being in a fucking restaurant right now hits me in the face like a fresh bucket of ice water. 

“Fuck. Sorry,” I breathe, my hands tangled in his hair, and I’m not sure when they got there, or when they managed to unbutton the top half of his shirt, or how the straps of my dress are halfway down my arms.

“Bathroom?” I propose, glancing at the adjoining one that I am thanking my lucky stars for as we speak.

“Bathroom,” he agrees.

[riptides-n-roses]

fresh meat - the shield (18+)

⛧ pair: the shield (jon moxley/dean ambrose, seth rollins, and roman reigns) x reader [i know he goes by mox now but i’m calling him dean for this one]

⛧ tags: @88changemymind @reigns-prophecy @cyberdejos2 (please let me know anytime if you'd like to be tagged in recent or future works.

⛧ warnings: primal play, kidnapping cre@mp1es, unprotected p in v, @nal (you're welcome), oral (m! and f! receiving), foursome (f/m/m/m), exhibitionism, lots of positions, degrading (my specialty), edging, overstimulation, orgasm denial, tr1ple p3netration [future warnings may be updated in this ff] as always minors should not interact ♡

⛧ sorry I haven't been active - I been busy with college and a recent trip to Germany: I always had a little fantasy of these 3 being dominant in a "certain" kind of way. Also I will go ahead and apologize if this isn't my best work - I've never had any bad writer's block like this and this the first time I've written a foursome so my apologies if it's a bit hard to understand.

⛧ the shield took out lots of the lockerroom; you however were in front of their next target. They surrounded you and were thinking of what to do you as punishment for getting in their way.

⛧ word count: 3.8K

How did you get here? How did you find yourself like this? The Shield were already pissed off about whatever the chairman told them but why you? Why were you surrounded by those three?

You quivered in fear as The Shield stared at you. Ambrose smirking, Rollins checking you up and down, and Reigns looking deep into your eyes.

"What do you think, boys?" Dean asks his fellow brothers. "What should we do with her?"

“I don’t know, Dean.” Roman replied, annoyance in his tone. “I’m getting irritated from her looking at us.”

You shivered from Roman’s words. You never thought you’d see yourself in this position - three hungry wolves lurking around you like they found their next meal. You sweated, praying that they won’t hurt you. But why you out of all people?

.•°☆.⋆｡⋆☆•˚｡⋆｡˚•☆˚｡⋆.☆•°.⋆

An hour earlier…

The Shield was pissed at Triple H for screwing them over for a tag team championship rematch. They’ve been begging to get this opportunity since their reunion.

They’ve already put many superstars through the announce tables and anything else they could attack other male superstars with.

You, a female superstar, were minding your business, getting ready to support your best friend, Naomi since she had a match for the women’s championship. While getting ready to meet her, you noticed a good friend of yours, Drew McIntyre, being part of the Shields main targets. Of course you couldn’t stand there and not protect your friend.

You noticed Seth about to make a sneak attack on Drew and you immediately blocked him from landing a hit on Drew. Seth was stunned seeing you try to stop what The Shield was all about - justice. And they sure had a way of making it known. You froze, asking yourself, "What were you thinking? You stopped a member of The Shield?! That's asking for a funeral." But you didn't want to show you were afraid, your face remained as emotionless as you could.

Drew didn’t say anything and left, a little amused from your small act of protecting your friend. In that space was just you and Seth. Seth began to smile and laugh at you, not believing you would stop any member of this faction.

“Sweetheart, there’s absolutely no way you’re trying to stop me. Either you be a good girl and move out of my way or you’re going to regret it.” He threatened, looking at your face. You felt offended from what he called you and didn’t move a muscle. It was stupid to do what you were doing, but your body was telling you to stay still.

When Seth saw you wouldn’t budge, he sighed and chuckled. You don’t know why he was laughing but you wouldn’t dare to ask.

“Welp, I tried to warn you.”

Those were his last words when two figures emerged from the dark - his other brothers, Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns. Your eyes widened as you realize your situation, three on one. You walked back slowly, backing yourself up to a wall. The three now surrounding you - making sure you wouldn’t escape from them.

.•°☆.⋆｡⋆☆•˚｡⋆｡˚•☆˚｡⋆.☆•°.⋆

Which leads to now. You felt your stomach drop as Seth approached you slowly, reaching his gloved hand out to your face, lifting your chin up with his finger.

“I’d say we punish her for getting in our way - making our next target get away.” He finally spoke, his other hand reaching to gently cup your face. “What do you think we should do, gentlemen?”

Dean and Roman both look at each other and smirked, both sharing an idea. “I think we should make her regret messing with us.” Dean replied. “We should ruin that pretty little face of hers.” Roman chimed in.

“I agree.” Seth chuckled. “Y’hear that? We’re gonna punish you.”

Your eyes widened. Punish? What did they mean? You lost your train of thought when you were suddenly picked up by Seth, him placing you on his shoulder.

“Put me down!” You yelled, landing punches on Seth.

“Oh you’ll have to try harder than that, sweetheart.” He mocked. “You’re ours now.”

You squirmed trying to become loose from his grip as the three men carried you away, putting their plans on beating up the whole locker room on pause.

.•°☆.⋆｡⋆☆•˚｡⋆｡˚•☆˚｡⋆.☆•°.⋆

You were brought to an empty room, only decorated with a couch and a table, Seth finally putting you down from his shoulder.

You quivered as you watched Dean closing the door and locking it, keeping his eyes on you. It was now just the four of you in a room, without anyone interfering with whatever they wanted. You took a step back as they began to approach you. You were scared to your wits - afraid of how they were with anyone who dared cross them, you were shaking as to what they wanted from you.

“Look at her, boys. She’s afraid of us being in front of her. How adorable.” Dean chuckled flattered that you found them intimidating.

“Awww what’s the matter, sweetheart?” Seth asked. “Scared of us? You think we’re gonna hurt you?”

“Cmon, babygirl. Don’t be shy~” Roman chimed, waiting for you to answer.

You gulped, too stunned to speak.

“Y-Yes…” you replied.

You watched the Shield smile, finally getting a reaction out of you. You felt humiliated with your situation. You just wanted them to leave you alone so you could go home.

Dean approached you, completely in front of you and looking into your eyes. You shivered feeling him go to the crook of your neck, getting a smell out of you. You held your breath feeling one of his rough calloused hands touch your waist, making their way slowly up your body. Dean hummed in approval, taking note of how sensitive you were with his gentle touch. You gasped when you felt his lips gently kiss your skin, his hand now intertwined with yours. Dean chuckled to your noises as he kept kissing your neck, obsessed with your scent.

“What….what are you-“

“Shhh. Relax, doll. I’m not going to hurt you.”

He was gentle with his tone - a bit too gentle. It was slightly erotic. With his other hand, he motioned for Roman to also get a smell of you. Roman smirked and made his way behind you - his hands going under your shirt. You shivered from how cold they were. You bit your lip when you felt them go in your bra cupping your breast, giving them a squeeze. You closed your eyes tight feeling Roman gently biting your ear. Seth was amused to you trying your best not to submit to their touches and kisses, he admired seeing how you were pathetically trying to not give a reaction.

“Don’t be scared, sweetheart.” Seth laughed, watching his fellow brothers make a mess of you “You can make noise. Only us will hear you.”

“Aww is someone shy?” Dean cooed “You don’t have to be afraid.”

“Go on, babygirl.” Roman ordered

You accidentally left out a moan as you felt Dean bite harder into your skin - Roman squeezing your breasts a bit harder, playing with your nips. Your free hand went around Dean, pulling him in closer onto you. As much as you were afraid to admit it, you were getting turned on. You felt yourself getting damp to multiple kisses and hot breaths surrounding you.

“Please…I..” You tried to talk, feeling intoxicated from being touched and kissed.

“What is it, babygirl?” Roman asked “You want some more?”

“Don’t be scared, doll. Tell us what you want.” Dean added, his hand slowly going down your crotch. Your breath was shaky as you tried to open your mouth.

“I…oh fuck…I want more.” You replied, feeling a bulge being pressed against your ass. You moaned from Dean’s hot kisses all over your neck, Roman having his hands gripping your sides and continuously rubbing his bulge on your ass, still playfully biting your ear.

“Hmm, good girl” Dean whispered, getting turned on from your submissive voice.

You whined when Dean stopped toying with you, stepping back as Seth was in front of you now.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart. We’ll be gentle with you.” Seth chuckled, cupping your face as he pressed his lips against yours, both of your tongues fighting for dominance. Your muffled moans and pleas turned on the three hungry men. You felt sandwiched between Seth and Roman, feeling them kiss all over you.

“Yknow…this gear of yours” Roman started, before he lifted your top up “Has always distracted me whenever you walked past us.” Before you could speak, your top was off, being completely naked from top. You shivered from your naked breasts being exposed to the air. You watched as Seth’s eyes grew hungry with lust seeing your hardened nipples as he began to play with one of them, making you whine from his touch.

“I…I don’t understand.” You started, feeling Roman place gentle kisses on the back of your neck. “I thought you three were going to literally hurt me…”

“Hurt you?” Seth was surprised from your statement “Oh no sweetheart we could never. Isn’t that right boys?”

“She’s too pretty for that” Dean smirked, admiring how sensitive you were.

“And these bottoms…” You felt one of Roman’s calloused hands make their way to your waistline, teasing part of your bottoms “They always hugged your curves in all the right places..” You yelped feeling your bottoms quickly come down, revealing your laced underwear. You were now nearly nude in front of the three behemoths, your body shivered from the sudden temperature change.

“Oh? What’s this?” Seth teased, his hand making his way to your clothed cunt, “Lace? Were you expecting this, sweetheart?”

As you opened your mouth, you felt Seth’s hand make small circles on your clit, sending a wave of vibrations down your spine. You were already wet from being kissed and toyed with from Dean and Roman, but feeling Seth play with your clit made you wetter and needy for more.

“You’re so wet, baby…” Seth whispered, his hand going faster on your clit. You whined from his touch, your eyes tightly shut. You felt so small under their touch and dominance.

You were shaking, you've never felt this kind of sensation before and it was driving you wild. Your whimpers felt like music to their ears, enjoying every sound you made whenever they touched you.

What seemed like eternity, Seth finally stopped playing with your cunt, admiring your juices being all over his fingers, Roman backing away from behind you. You were confused as to what they were going to do next.

"I always wondered what do you taste like, sweetheart"

Before you could say anything, you were placed on the couch, your legs spread wide open. You watched The Shield admiring your clothed cunt. You were scared to make a noise as Seth slowly made his way toward you, his hands gently pulling your underwear off.

"Are you scared? Pathetic. You weren't so scared in stopping us earlier. What happened to that brave little soul?" he teased, forcefully spreading your legs wider to a better view of your wet cunt.

You couldn't answer, your breath hitched feeling a warm tongue circling your clit. You couldn't move your legs much as Seth kept them open.

"F-Fuck.." you cried, your eyes shut from the waves of pleasure, you melting in front of the three. You amused them, they've never seen you so submissive like this before.

"What a good little slut..." Seth muttered, his gloved fingers circling your clit as his tongue went in you.

Dean and Roman watched in admiration but a little jealous that they weren't having their way with you just yet.

"Please...I...I want to-"

"You're not going to cum until I tell you too, understood?"

You cried from Seth's orders, feeling your stomach tighten and winding up. You whined when he stopped, unable to cum without their permission.

"I thought of something else."

You were confused by what he meant, until he motioned for Dean, making his way towards you. You were swiftly put on your knees, ass up in front of Seth. You looked up at Dean, his eyes hungry for you.

"You're going to be a good girl and take the both of us. Got it?" Dean asked, his hands removing his belt and black pants. You quickly nodded, not saying a word.

"I'm sorry, are you going to address him correctly?" Seth muttered, delivering a harsh slap on your ass; you yelped from the pain, your mind going white for a second.

"Yes...Yes sir."

Dean smirked and pulled down his boxers, revealing his thick cock. Your eyes widened from how big he was, you were worried as to how you were going to fit him all in your mouth. You lost your train of thought when you felt Seth's fingers playing with your clit, you gasped from how rough he was being.

"Open your mouth, whore"

Dean roughly grabbed your cheeks, forcefully pushing his dick in your mouth, your eyes forming tears as you gagged on his length, his tip touching the back of your throat. Seth, growing impatient, pushed himself into you, your cunt throbbing from being stuffed.

Your moans were muffled as you felt another slap across your ass, Seth thrusting in and out of you. You whimpered feeling Seth's hands roughly grabbing your sides, Dean grabbing a handful of your hair.

"God damn, you're such a slut" Dean groaned, His free hand roughly grabbing your face "You're doing so good."

You whimpered from how you were being manhandled from the two, trying to grasp for air.

"You're taking me so well, sweetheart." Seth praised, delivering another slap on your ass. The two men getting sloppier with each thrust. You felt your stomach tighten, you were getting desperate to cum.

"Look at me." Dean ordered, raising your face up, "You were wanting this for a while weren't you?" You nodded, afraid to disobey him. He smirked, biting his lip. "You're so cute."

Your eyes rolled back as Dean and Seth went harder and faster with their thrusts, you knew they were going to cum soon, your stomach getting tighter and tighter.

"I'm going to cum in your mouth, are you ready?"

You nodded to Dean, gagging from his length.

"Me too, sweetheart" you heard Seth groan, his hands grabbing your ass. "I'll let you cum, okay?"

You whined, finally wanting to be filled with cum. Your stomach beginning to wind up.

"Fuck..." Dean growled, thrusting one last time before filling your mouth with his cum.

You reached your orgasm too, your cries tighten your pussy as Seth thrusted into your cunt, his seed explode deep in you. The three of you rode out an orgasm, your body shaking from the round of sex. Dean pulled his cock out of your mouth, letting you breathe while Seth slowly pulled out of you, your pussy leaking his cum. Dean grabbed your face, leaving hot kisses all over you. "You're a good slut...but you know we aren't done. Roman hasn't had a turn yet with you."

You slowly turned to see an impatient Roman staring at you, smirking as you knew he was going to be aggressive with you. You yelped from Seth smacking your ass one more time before standing up, Dean giving you one more kiss before he also gotten up.

"She's all yours, Roman."

As Dean and Seth stood back, Roman took his time making his way toward you, admiring your flushed face and your submissive position. He gently cupped your face with his hand. He smirked looking into your eyes, listening to your heavy breathing.

You were scared as he remained silent, thinking of what he wanted to do to you. You didn't want to question him since he wasn't that much of a talker. What seemed like forever, he smashed his lips onto yours, catching you off guard from his swift movements. You whined as both of your tongues twirled against each other. His free hand slowly making its way to one of your breast, playing with your nipples. You whined from his touch, rough but gentle. You knew this wasn't what he really wanted.

He finally pulled away, allowing your lungs air. His eyes never leaving yours. He gently stroked your face, still not saying a word. Why wasn't he saying anything? Was he already getting bored? What was he planning?

You looked down and saw a massive bulge in his pants, your eyes widening. "How is he going to fit that in me?" you thought to yourself. He took noticed and chuckled, amused to how shocked you were.

"How cute..." Roman muttered.

You were startled to his tone, finally hearing him speak. He swiftly put you on your back, your cunt being in front of him. You watched as Roman undid his belt and his pants, revealing his huge, veiny cock. "Holy...fuck" your thoughts were full of concern. You felt as if he was going to rip through you.

He positioned himself, not breaking eye contact and keeping your legs open, watching your face expressions carefully. You gasped feeling his tip tease your clit, throbbing for attention. You could feel your face getting warm.

You whined as he roughly pushed himself into you, your walls tightening from how thick he was. He made sure you adjusted to his size before thrusting roughly into you, grunting from how tight you were.

"Fuck, babygirl..." his groans hypnotized you, your eyes never leaving his, your tits bouncing with each thrust. He leaned toward you, pressing his lips against yours again, you wrapped your arms and legs around him. You were surprised he wasn't being as rough as you were thinking. You felt it wasn't really what he really wanted to do with you just yet.

He pulled away from your lips, wanting to look into your eyes again.

You shut your eyes tight from how good you felt, You gasped as Roman grabbed your throat, limiting a bit of air.

"Look at me baby. Look at me while I fuck you."

You opened your eyes again, obeying Roman as he thrusted harder into you, your legs pathetically trying to close themselves. It was too much for you to handle.

"You're so beautiful like this."

His praises were erotic. You couldn't talk much as his grip went a little tighter on your neck. You felt your stomach slowly tighten. You gasped his thrusts went faster into you, you were trying to grab his arm that was around your neck. Roman quickly intertwined his hand with yours, preventing you from releasing his grip.

"I wouldn't do that, babygirl."

You cried feeling your stomach getting tighter, his thrusts getting sloppier.

"Do you want to cum, baby? I'm getting ready to." He growled, holding back from cumming in you too quickly.

"Ye..Ye..Yess" Your words were limited, feeling yourself getting closer to your limit. He smirked and released his grip on your throat, letting you breathe.

"Fuck baby...I'm gonna cum"

You sobbed, cumming all over his cock, one last thrust before he came in you, your eyes rolling back, shaking from your second orgasm. Roman kissing you one more time before pulling out of you, he smiled looking how exhausted you were.

"We're still not done."

You felt your stomach dropped from those words. Not done? What else could they have wanted? You look back and see Dean and Seth coming toward you and Roman, having another idea.

Roman smirked and helped you up, having another thought in his head. Just then, you were picked up for a second, Dean now laying on his back, you on top of him, Roman behind you and Seth in front of you. You knew where this was going. You whined feeling Dean push himself into you without warning, Roman teasing your ass before slowly pushing his tip in. You were about to scream before Seth put his dick in your mouth, muffling your cries. You never felt stuffed like this before. It was a little painful, but you didn't mind. Your shut your eyes tight as the three men began to thrust into you, you feeling so full to a point you've never felt before. The sounds of groans and skin slapping filled the room, it was too erotic for either of you to handle. You never had sex like this before but it didn't bother you.

"How's this, y/n? Us filling you up like this?" Seth laughed as he cupped your face, watching your eyes roll back, his other hand grabbing a lot of your hair roughly.

You could only let out a few muffled whimpers and cries, begging to be fucked rougher.

"This is what happens when you cross us, y'hear?"

You gasped as Dean began playing with your tits, making you overstimulated, sure to cum soon. Roman was now the one delivering harsh slaps on your ass, even harder than what Seth did earlier. Tears formed in your eyes from the overbearing pleasure. It was too much yet it felt too good to stop.

Their thrusts gotten harder and disgustingly faster, your stomach tightening quicker than the last few times. Your breath gotten quicker from each thrust. Seth took notice and grabbed your face forcing you to look at him.

"Fuck...I know you're about to cum but you're not going to yet, slut."

You whined from his demands, trying desperately hard not to disobey him from cumming too quickly. Your body felt like jello, it was unbearable to keep still in the same position due to the amount of pleasure: Seth's tip always touching the back of your throat with each thrust, Dean hitting your sensitive spots, and Roman stuffing your ass with his cock. It was a lot to handle.

You were getting impatient, your whines growing loud from your upcoming orgasm, it was starting to hurt holding it.

"I'm getting close, fuck...I'm about to cum in you, baby." Dean growled, his grip gotten tighter on one of your breasts.

"Same here. You still holding it, hmm?" Seth asked you, your eyes blurred from tears. You quickly nodded, it was really starting to hurt holding your orgasm."

"Shit, I'm about to cum." Roman muttered, his thrusts getting sloppy.

You cried out releasing your orgasm on Dean's cock, Your vision going white. Dean followed behind, filling you up with his cum. Roman forcefully grabbing your sides, his seed burst into your ass, and Seth cumming down your throat. The four of you rode out a rough orgasm. Seth finally pulled out of your mouth, keeping his tight grip on you keeping eye contact. Your breath was scarce, finally having some time to breathe. Both Roman and Dean pulled out of you, still staying in their position, all of you breathing heavily from the round of sex. Your body was shaking, shivering from how rough you were fucked, cum leaking from both of your holes.

Seth chuckled, amused from how completely exhausted you were now, giving you a rough kiss on your lips.

"This was your punishment."

[ineloe]

HeadCannon of Peter being a sick child

Not in the sense of "Peter is sick and Tony has to take care of him", NO!

It's the kind of "I've had migraines for so long I don't even care about the pain anymore" or "I get colds so many times in the week that I don't know how is the feeling of DON'T HAVE a runny nose"

So Tony go ask him one day like

Tony: Pete, your nose is bleeding!? ARE YOU OKAY!?

And Peter takes a set of wet wipes from his bag calmly wiping his nose saying

Peter: Oh yeah, it happens sometimes, so about the design of the new Falcon wings...

AND HE DON'T SAY ANYTHING ELSE AFTER!?

Tony is already pulling his hair out wondering why Peter suddenly passes out sometimes and Peter goes like

Peter: Oh yeah, about that, I have anemia and low blood pressure, sometimes my blood sugar drops and my blood pressure drops and then I passes out, nothing to worry about 😊

Tony's heart almost stops and he's already like "god I need to put this kid in a bubble to protect him..."

One day Tony turns to Peter and asks if he wants something to eat or drink and Peter says

Peter: Ohhhhh, THAT'S why my vision is blurry the whole afternoon, hahaha

Tony:... uh?

Peter: I forgot to eat

Tony: WHAT!? IT'S 12:45 PM!? YOU HAVEN'T EATEN ANYTHING ALL DAY!?

Peter: Yep, ops haha, I'm gonna drink a glass of water

Tony: THIS IS NOT EVEN NEARLY ENOUGH!?!?!? I'M ORDERING 3 PIZZAS AND YOU'RE EATING THEM!!!!

Peter: But I'm not hungry...

Tony: !?!?!?!? HOW!?

Since then, Tony forces Peter to eat something every time they meet, Peter thinks this is excessive, Tony thinks that if he doesn't do this Peter will die-

[lucy90712]

Telling family

Gavi: 

It has been a couple weeks since I had my first ultrasound but we are yet to tell Pablo's family. Just a few days after the ultrasound once I had wrapped my head around it all I called my parents and told them. I didn't expect them to be over the moon as I know Pablo and I are young but they were a lot more angry than I thought. They lectured me for most of the phone call about how irresponsible I'd been and how I'd regret things in years to come so I haven't spoken to them since. After their reaction I've been way too scared to tell Pablo's parents, he wants to tell them naturally but I've made him wait and wait because I'm just so scared of what they are going to think. 

Now though I can't wait anymore as Pablo's family have invited us both to dinner and we agreed that the next time we saw them in person would be the time we tell them. Pablo promised me that he'd take the lead in the conversation which makes me feel a bit better but still I feel so incredibly anxious. I get on really well with Pablo's parents and I don't want to ruin that especially with the lack of support from my own parents. I can understand why they wouldn't be happy about the news because having a baby is going to affect Pablo's career and he has such a bright future ahead of him that I might be ruining. I know that it takes two to make a baby but I can't help but feel responsible for this situation and anything that comes from it including our parents reactions. 

Pablo drove us to dinner which was at a nice restaurant in a quiet part of town meaning there wasn't many people around to create any distraction from the situation. We had a lovely dinner but I couldn't eat much in part due to sickness but mostly due to nerves. Once everyone had finished eating a conversation was started about what had been going on since we all last saw each other. That's when Pablo squeezed my hand under the table to tell me that he was going to make the announcement. 

"Actually y/n and I have an announcement we are expecting" Pablo announced 

"That's brilliant I'm so happy for you two" Pablo's mum said 

"You aren't mad?" Pablo asked taking the words right out of my mouth 

"No of course not it's your life not ours plus we know you two will make great parents" Pablo's dad said 

"Thank you your support means a lot" I managed to say despite the shock of how well the conversation had gone down 

Pedri: 

Pretty much ever since we found out Pedri has been desperate to tell his family about the new addition. The only thing that has stopped him is the fact that he wanted to tell his parents in person. They were supposed to be coming over for a few days this week but a few things happened so now they aren't able to come and Pedri is devastated. I told him that we can wait until they can make it out here to tell them but he still wants to find a way because he doesn't want them to miss out on much more of my pregnancy. It has been a difficult dilemma for him and I've tried to help but ultimately it's his decision as to what he wants to do I will just be there whether he decides. 

This morning Pedri woke me up all excited telling me that today is the day we tell his family which had me very confused. He explained that he invited Fer over this afternoon and he plans to FaceTime his parents so that they can all find out at the same time. Then he showed me the little onesie he got made that he was going to give his parents but instead he's going to give to Fer and get him to show his parents through FaceTime. He was so excited and had a smile to match which was so infectious that I couldn't help but smile too at how cute it is the Pedri is so excited. His family means so much to him and I know he wants our announcement to be perfect but no matter what happens it will be perfect. 

Fer came round right on time but Pedri acted as if he was hours late as he rushed Fer into the living room and set up his phone before running off to get the onesie which he'd put in a box. Fer was laughing at his brother but he let him do his thing and listened when he was told to wait to open the box. Pedri FaceTimed his parents who were happy to see all of us together and wanted to chat but Pedri was preoccupied. 

"Ok you can open the box now but make sure you show mum and dad too" Pedri instructed 

"What is this" Fer said pulling out the onesie so that the writing on it was facing the phone 

"Are you two joking?" Pedri's mum asked

"No we aren't" I said 

"Congratulations I wish we could be there to hug you both but we will come over soon" she said 

"I'm still confused" Fer said 

"Turn it round you dumbass" Pedri said 

"Oh my god congratulations both of you" Fer said giving both of us a hug 

Jude: 

Jude has been nervous to tell his family not because he thinks they won't be supportive but because they know he didn't want kids and he doesn't want them to get the wrong impression. He is so worried that his family will think that I'm baby trapping him but I'm not worried about that because I know once we explain that this baby is a happy accident they will be super supportive. It is this reason that Jude hasn't wanted to tell his family the news over the phone so now that he has a break and we are going back home for a few days he doesn't have any excuse. Seeing as it's his family I have left him to decide how he wants to tell them but I told him if he wants me to do or say anything he just has to tell me. 

Throughout the flight Jude was so nervous he was tapping his foot and playing with the rings on my fingers which he only does when he's deep in thought. I really want to be able to support him more but there's not much I can do as we won't know what's going to happen until we tell them plus I don't have the same fears he does so I don't know how he's feeling. I do think it's sweet that he's so worried about what his parents might think of me when we tell them because he doesn't want them to resent me in any way. If he wasn't so caring he wouldn't be this nervous which I guess in this scenario has its pros and cons. 

Once we finally arrived it was late and I was very tired so we went straight to Jude's parents place as that's where we are staying. Even though it was late they all stayed up for us and greeted us at the door which was really nice. As it was late I expected Jude to wait until tomorrow to tell his parents or find a better time but as I made my way to the stairs he gave me a look and I knew he was just going to say it. 

"Y/n and I are expecting" he just kind of blurted out 

"Oh wow congratulations" Jude's dad said 

"I know I said I didn't want kids and I know what you are thinking but it's not y/n's fault we both made a mistake but I'm actually really excited to be a dad" Jude explained 

"We would never think anything like that I'm just glad you two are happy that's the main thing" Jude mum said 

"Congrats bro I can't wait to be the fun uncle" Jobe laughed 

Joao: 

Joao has been so excited to surprise his family with the news he hasn't stopped talking about all the different ways he could do it. He has been looking on Pinterest most nights to come up with ideas which I never thought I'd see as he used to make fun of me for looking on Pinterest for inspiration. After much consideration he made his mind up on what he wanted to do so we ordered the stuff we would need and made sure it would arrive in time for his family coming to visit. 

Today is the day that Joao's family are due to arrive so Joao dragged me out of bed far too early so we could assemble the idea he came up with. There was a lot of layers to Joao's plan he had a box and he wanted to created different layers with different things on them. On the bottom we put a picture from the ultrasound we got then going up we added other things that were slightly baby related but not too obvious so it wasn't completely given away at the start. Once it was done he was so excited to give it to them but I told him to at least wait until they are sat down  after getting here as we don't want to overwhelm them at the door. He knew he would be able to hold back to he told me to give him a signal when I thought the time was right. 

When it was time Joao went to the airport to pick everyone up leaving me at home. I was fully prepared for him to have given everything away on the drive but he hadn't although he did look like he was about to burst from anticipation. I made everyone a drink before we all sat down and got to catch up, to begin with it was just sort of small talk but then the conversation moved to things that were hard for me to answer truthfully without making it obvious that I am pregnant. That is when I gave Joao the signal so he excused himself and came back with the box which he gave to his mum but made sure everyone else could see it too. I wasn't nervous until they actually started looking through the box which is when a bit of anxiety kicked in as to what their reactions would be. By the time they got to the last layer of the box my heart rate was through the roof.

"Oh my god you aren't joking right you are actually expecting" Joao's mum exclaimed 

"No we aren't joking y/n is actually pregnant" Joao said 

"Thats amazing congratulations" Joao's dad said 

"How are feeling y/n have you been doing ok?" Joao's mum asked 

"I'm fine just the usual symptoms but nothing too bad so far" I said 

"If you need anything just give us a call and we will do our best to help" she said 

Ruben: 

Ruben couldn't hold off on telling his parents so they found out a few weeks ago not long after we did. His brother however doesn't know and everyone has been keeping it a secret from him so Ruben can tell him in a fun way. His brother has been there for us through the months and months of negative tests and really helped Ruben not get down about it so Ruben decided he needed to do something special to tell his brother that he will finally be an uncle. While Ruben has been thinking about how he wants to surprise his brother I've been finding it really hard not to say anything as Ruben's brother is around a lot and my pregnancy is quite often on my mind. Trying to cover up when I'm feeling sick or tried has been difficult but I've done it for Ruben as I don't want to be the one to ruin the surprise. 

Last night Ruben told me he was finally ready to tell his brother which is great timing as he is supposed to be coming for dinner tonight. Ruben had training this morning so he sent me out to get a few things for him which I happily did. As soon as Ruben was back he got on with his plan which he hasn't told me so I just watched as he stuck a design onto a t shirt he made me get. Once he was done he showed me that he had made a t shirt for his brother that had uncle Ivan written on the back of it. He was so happy with himself and I must say it was a good idea one that his brother will definitely like. 

Ruben made dinner as I wasn't feeling well enough to be stood up cooking for too long but I did greet his brother and sat with him until dinner was done and we could all eat together. After dinner Ruben went and grabbed the t shirt which was folded to hide what was written on it and handed it to his brother. As he unfolded it he read what was on the back and I could see his smile grow and he went straight to hug Ruben before he hugged me too.

"Congratulations both of you I'm so happy for you" Ivan said 

"Thanks for your support until now we wouldn't be in this position if it wasn't for you telling me it will come when the time is right" Ruben said 

"You don't need to thank me I'm just glad you've finally got what you've been wishing for" Ivan said 

[tttt06]

Follow My Lead

Word count- 7.3k

UnexperiencedReader x IdolJeongin

Both are in the military.

Synopsis~ 

Y/N is a veteran of the Army; she's been there since she was 18. She lost a friend a couple of years back, and she's never been the same.

Her sergeant assigns her to silently watch over the smiley boy because everyone can tell he's too friendly.

I mean, Jeongin's new. And he's a K-pop Idol. Some K-pop guy again. You're not even from Korea. You wouldn't know. 

He's so comforting and soft with you. Even though you're his superior, somehow you follow his lead.

!Warning! Y/N refers to Jeongin as Yang. The two of them are (Kinda) enemies to lovers. Y/N is also in a higher rank than I.N. Also, Jeongin is kinda a freak and horny. He likes that she is his boss, but he likes making her submissive. Also, this is from a view of a black reader the word 'nigga' is used like three times

"L/N! Stop with the Alpha Charlie and get to work!" I bit my lip and stayed silent as I tightened my grip on the weapon. I've been in the military since I was 18 years old. I'm about to turn 23 soon, and once again, I'll be spending it in a country I'm not from.

I'm from the States. I joined the military because I had no other option. Free living, free food, free friends, and a good job. 

I was a high ranker, but I didn't let that go around as known. Most people underestimate me, and those who know how high I'm ranked don't say much.

"Uhm, Sarg, Commander wants to see you." I looked at Nigel. He had a faint smirk. "The fuck you do? Hm?" I got up with a huff, "Respect your officer." 

I walked to the commander's office, and knocked, "It's L/N." He answered quietly, "Come in." I walked into the office and saluted, "Yes, sir, how can I help you?" He sighed, "Sit the hell down, Sarg." 

I relaxed in the seat. "I have a new assignment for you. We have a couple newbies coming in, and they need training. You're our lead trainer." 

I sighed, "Sir, I declined the offer years ago. I'm just a Spec." He shook his head, "You've been E6 for a while. You're taking this job."

I tried to stay respectful, but it fell apart. "Don't you think it's a little odd how quickly I became an E6?" He let out a long sigh, "Sarg, you saved our country from a terrorist attack. Of course, it's strange. You need to start doing your duties. Now, I assigned you to take care of Private Yang."

I crossed my arms, "Sir-" He closed his eyes quickly, cutting me off with a swift hand motion. "Kid. No professional bullshit right now, you have to listen. You're forcing my hand. The Colonel is asking me why you haven't fulfilled a single duty I put on you. I can't tell him you ignore his direct orders. I've never asked of you... but you're risking mine and your own neck."

I leaned back in the chair and thought to myself. I was starting to feel the weight of my title crash on me. 

"Fuck. Fine. But just Private Yang. Ask Sergeant Surtees to train the rest of the faction." 

He went quiet before he asked, "Are you doing alright?" I stood up, "You know what happened last time I trained privates. You also know the answer to that question." I walked out of the office to go for a walk on base. 

I had to attend back to my post in about ten minutes. I just needed time to think.

The next day, I was at the office I hadn't been to in almost a year.  It was dusty and messy. The last time I was here, I had a breakdown. Being here was something I never thought I'd do. Yet, here I am. I was coming to pick up my files.

I hadn't trained in two years, so I forgot how to. I had to go back to my notes to see what to get.

I sat in the chair and spun. The squeak sent a shiver down my spine. A flash went through my head.

That day was hard to remember. The loud explosion as I screamed out to my comrade. 

The sound of it imploding on the swing as the rubber seat flew into the air. 

He laid in pieces as chunks of guts and blood pooled on the mulch. The sound of the swing creaking back and forth kept me breathing. A day hard to forget.

A hand waved in my face. I was met with this smiley face. "H-hi." 

My eye twitched, "Yang! You call me Sarg! You approach me as such. You never start a sentence with Hi, you understand me?" The younger boy's smile dropped. "Yes, Sarg." I stood up and said, "We're going to the training grounds, and you're going to do 50 rounds of 10 push-ups."

I looked at him with serious eyes. He ran to the training grounds and began immediately. 

I screamed for about four hours. When Yang stood again, I shouted, "NOW DO FIVE LAPS AROUND THE ENTIRE BASE."

Yang got to running. I sighed while sitting on the floor. I watched my higher-up walk over to me. "Surtees." He laughed, "I haven't seen you train in a long time." I laughed, "I know. Just doing what I'm forced to." 

We talked as we looked over his trainees. Surtees asked, "How long you think he'll make it for?" I shrugged, "He's too smiley, I give him a week. He'll crack." 

Surtees asked, leaning over, "You heard what he did before this?" I looked at him, "He was in the Stray Kids group. He's the youngest." I watched as my trainee was running back from behind the building. 

"You serious?" "Hella." 

My eye twitched again. "I'm dealing with a stuck-up princess then." 

I saw how focused Jeongin was as he ran for the next lap. He wasn't fucking around. 

I did have doubts about his abilities, but he seemed athletic enough.

It had been a week of training. Yang learned to shoot, he learned to run, and he learned to listen.

He picked up on it quickly. His only issue was he was a horrible yeller. 

The kid couldn't respond loud and confident for his life. I was back in my office with a new chair. I asked Commander to get me a new one because the squeaking triggered me.

I had repainted the walls to a pastel green, and the office was decorated with my interest. I was lost in paperwork.

I've done my research on Yang. He's very quiet with his group. He's seen as adorable and thick-skinned. 

It rings true. Yang is resilient...somewhere, but he needs support to stay strong. The boy is probably one of the best when thinking of rookies.

However, I got an email from the colonel. He wanted me to go on a solo mission with Yang for a teaching lesson.

When it came to training, I was the best. Commander still doesn't know much about my past, even before the military, but he knows I'm tough.

I'm tough on everyone I love and hate. That's because I care.

After I completed my office work, I moved to packing up my bags. 

We were to leave tomorrow. I sent one of the trainees to get Yang for me and waited to give him the news. 

"Sarg." I motioned toward the door with my head. "Close it." He closed the door and saluted me. "Sit and relax." 

Though it's horrible, I often let my trainees relax. They're supposed to be soldiers, but nobody can hold a cold face.

"Yang, we have been ordered by the colonel to go on a mission. Can you handle it?" He raised an eyebrow, "What's gonna happen?" 

I blinked at him, "Well, we do a perimeter check and watch. Something could be found." 

He looked confused, "Well, why?" I sighed, "There was a shooting. We're in Korea. We're being sent to keep a special look-out at the crime scene. It might be... a terrorist attack."

His eyes widened, "A gun?" I nodded, "We're being sent out tomorrow. Pack your bags. Be up and ready by 7 o'clock sharp."

He nodded, and I excused him.

I left my room to see Yang already outside. I followed behind him, "Yah! you're early." He saluted, "Yes, I am, Sarg." I let out a small laugh and packed my bags into the trunk.

Yang got into the driver's seat and put his seatbelt on. "You don't wanna stop by anywhere for something to eat?"

He looked at me and read my facial expression. "You're hungry. What do you want to eat?" I felt my face flare with heat. I turned the other way in embarrassment. "I want..." His sigh broke the tension, "Yes?" 

I continued while looking out the window, "I want Chik-Fil-A." He smiled, "We don't have that in Korea. We'll get something else."

I shyly proposed, "Some ramen then."

That was odd. I'm usually not shy like that, but when Yang had the strange dominance over me... I felt something.

He told me I was hungry and asked me where I wanted to eat. That was so hot.

I hadn't spoken the whole ride. Yang turned something on in me. 

I had cornered myself close to the door, squeezed my thighs together, and hadn't turned to him.

Ordering food was what broke the silence. As we ate in the car, Yang started asking me personal questions. Ones I shouldn't answer, but he's just a kid.

"So, your family supported your career?" I swallowed my noodles, "The bills needed to be paid." He looked at me, and there was this glint.

"...Sarg." I confusedly stared at him. His hand reached for my cheek, and I felt his thumb rub across it. 

"You had sauce on your cheek." I looked down at my bowl of ramen. "Thanks." 

Fuck, why did I want him to kiss me?

He continued asking questions. "So, you got a boyfriend or something?" I only glanced at him, "No, never have." 

He smiled, and a chuckle left his chest, "You embarrassed about that?" I sighed, "I... almost did... something happened." 

He ate his kimbap, "What?" My lips moved to a lopsided smile, "He died." 

Yang calmly put his food down. "Why do you always have to be so depressing?" My eyes widened in shock, "Excuse you!" He raised his eyebrows, "Look, you're young! Your life sucks, your friends died! But they wouldn't want you to be grumpy all the time."

"I don't deserve to be happy." His hand landed on my shoulder, "Yes, you do." 

He looked into my eyes. They were so free and genuine. 

I looked away. "Yeah." I had nothing else to say. 

I always forget he's older than me. He's a smiley person and has a younger aura about him. He's so mature and is holding onto this life pretty well.

I huffed, "I'm supposed to be your sergeant. Not your friend." He smiled while he laughed through his nose, "You can be both." 

He put both his hands on the wheel and began to drive off.

When we arrived, we were immediately directed to the crime scene.

A tarp covered the dead body, but not the pool of blood. Yang only looked at me in concern as I reached for his hand.

He entangled his fingers with mine and squeezed. 

I can't do this. I can't... I feel like I'm right back.

I let go and walked off. I felt like I was suffocating. The smell of blood, the quietness, the body... I couldn't take it.

As my chest ran out of breath, I caught myself wishing for Yang. My hands instinctively grabbed my chest as I tried to find the air.

I cried, "Fuck." 

There was silence before a voice behind me made me jump. Yang's eyes followed mine with concern. "Hey, hey, hey. You okay?" I nodded and pushed him away. "I- I can't take this." 

He rubbed the back of his head, "I get it." He grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the bench. 

"Can we look at the cloud together?" I just nodded along, barely hearing what he asked. I looked up at the morning sky and felt my air return to my lungs.

I felt so small. 

Yang still hadn't let go of my hand. "Your thoughts feel clearer?" I looked down to see him staring. "Yeah... they did." He only smiled, "I won't make you talk about it. I have a member from my group, Han... he has anxiety too." 

I looked down and played with his hand, "It's more like PTSD. I can't see blood or hear that squeak sound... It just reminds me of that day." 

He only listened. "He was my comrade, my friend. The love of my life all at once. I didn't follow orders. My commander told me to stand down. Only one guy was left. At least, that's what we thought. My comrade said two against one was too easy. We ran in, but... he ended up dying. There were four guys in there. I killed them all, yet my comrade still died."

Yang let go of my hand and grabbed my whole body. He scooped me up into a warm embrace. I felt safe in his arms.

"You're with me now." I nodded.

We stayed there in silence. I eventually worked up the courage to go back.

We were there all night and were both too tired to drive back. I ended up getting us a one-bedroom. Two beds in one room. It was an overnight stay, and we'd be up and back on our way that morning. 

I let my commander know we'd be back late. When we got to the room, I smacked right on the bed. "Be up by 7."

I didn't hear a response, but I went straight to sleep.

I woke up in a sweat. I shot up and felt my lungs gasping for air. "Sergeant?" I turned to the other bed to see Yang fully awake. 

"Ah, sorry." He turned on the bedside lamp. "come here." He flipped the cover over in an inviting manner. 

I sat on my bed for a moment, thinking. 

Is this okay? He's my subordinate... But I need to sleep.

I sighed and got up. I walked over to Yang's bed, and he pulled me closer. His warm breath tickled my ear, "Sleep well." 

When I woke up, my cheek was squished against his chest, and his hand held onto my shoulder. My hand lifted me from his chest. 

His eyes opened sharply. I smiled, "It's just me." He smiled and swooped a loc from my face. He tucked it behind my ear, "Good morning." 

I felt my heart tingle. I pushed away, "Get ready. I'll drive us back." I slammed the door shut and walked to the convenience store. 

No way am I falling for a subordinate. Not happening. The last time I fell for someone here, they died. Plus, he's an idol... he won't be able to make this public.

I grabbed the convenience store food and went to pay for it. The cashier mentioned, "You look upset." I looked up at him. "I am." He smiled, "Maybe a stranger could help."

I huffed, "I'm his boss. I like him." He looked at me with shock, "Oh... well." 

I gave him a defeated smile, "I told you so. I'm hopeless." There was a silence before he just responded, "Hey, you never know... You know Blackpink?" 

I gave him a blank stare, "Nigga... I speak Korean fluently. What are you trying to say?" "You never know until you try." 

I laughed, "That's not what the song is about." He shrugged, "I don't listen to them." My eye twitched, "I can tell. Thanks for the useless advice."

I walked out with my bag of supplies and back to the hotel. Yang was walking out. "Yah, I got us food." 

I handed him the bag, "How'd you know... you got all my favorite stuff." I shrugged, "Just eat." I got in the car, and the first thirty minutes were quiet. 

That was until Yang burped. "UGH! What the fuck, Jeongin!" He turned to me quickly, his eyes wide. "What did you just call me?" 

My eyes stayed glued to the road, "I don't know what you're talking about." He said, "Please, call me that a lot."

It had been about two months since that whole situation. Yang had been wondering why I hadn't been talking to him. Plainly because I don't want to.

That whole situation with having to calm me down, cuddle me, and feed me... it felt too personal. 

I finished my report and heard a knock on the door, "Y/N, it's Surtees. Let me in?" I sighed, "Come inside, it's fun inside." He laughed as he walked in.

"Why are you singing Mickey Mouse?" I just laughed. Surtees sat, "I don't know how, but that Yang kid is already at the top of his class. They're thinking of promoting him." I let out a half smile, "He's a good kid." 

Surtees crossed his arms, "What happened on that mission, Y/N?" I squinted at him, "I told you." He rolled his eyes, "I don't think you're telling me everything." He leaned back in his chair.

I looked away from him to 'finish' my paperwork. There was a long silence. The only sound was sheets of paper swinging in the air. 

"Y/N." 

I looked up to see Surtees staring at me. "You serious about this being your last couple of months?" I sighed, "I can't take it anymore. My friend died here. When I did that mission with Yang, I couldn't take it. I'm weak. Too weak to protect the country." 

Surtees said, "Ah, so that's what happened." I raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean?" His smile spread, "You had a panic attack in front of the trainee, and now you're too embarrassed to talk to him."

I looked down, frustrated. "Y-yeah." Surtees only laughed. "You know the kid has a crush on you, right?" I looked up, appalled, "What?!" He held his stomach as he hunched over from laughter. 

"What are you talking about?" He smiled, "He's obsessed with you. He even came to ask why you haven't spoken to him." 

I felt my body tense as I thought about him holding me tight that night at the hotel. 

I didn't want to... but I think I really like him.

I shook my head, "That's... not right." Surtees said, "I think you should go for it. It's clear you're able to be vulnerable with him." 

I shook my head, "No! I shouldn't!" Surtees sighed, "Why? He's not going to die at war like your friend did. It's okay to fall in love again."

I shook my head, "But... Avery died because of me." Surtees smile had depleted. He looked at me, feeling sorry. I hated the pity, but it felt nice to be cared for.

"Y/N, you should sign up for the therapy they have here. You should also let Yang take you out. Maybe it's what you need."

I took his word as I silently cried. The tears fell from my cheeks, and Surtees stood up. "I know you hate when people see you cry. I'll see myself out." He patted my head and walked out. 

Surtees was always like an older brother. He was ahead of me by age and the system. I was one of the younger ones here. 

And that's thanks to the misfortune I suffered at 17.

I ended up huddled up in my office for about three hours. I eventually got up to quickly get something to eat. 

When I walked out to get some fast food on base, I was met with Yang. He was standing outside the convenience store alone. 

"You're supposed to be sleeping." He laughed, "Can't sleep when my friend ignores me." 

I glanced at him and walked past him. I was quick to get my food, but on my way out, Yang shouted to me, "Call me Jeongin... one more time." 

I turned around to look at him, "Excuse me?" He said, "Just once... I-I'd like to go out with you."

My eyes widened, "Yang, you're crazy." He asked, "Please? I want to be the person you want." I held my breath as I stared. My heart was racing, and my hands were shaking. 

"Y/N, you should sign up for the therapy they have here. You should also let Yang take you out. Maybe it's what you need."

Surtees's voice rang in my head. 

"Sure. But don't try to fuck me on the first night." He laughed, "No promises. When are you free?" 

He said, "Tomorrow, all day." I smiled, "Fine, let's meet at five." He smiled, "At the small pond, with the fishes." I nodded absentmindedly. I turned around and walked home. 

The next day, I had on civilian clothes. It wasn't often I wore an outfit, but I did today. 

I don't understand, but I wanted to impress Yang.

I wore a thigh-high dress, some white sneakers, and white socks. My locs are in a quick bun with the two front strands out to frame my face. 

I exited my place to see Nigel at my door, "Really?" He looked me up and down and said, "So Yang really did ask you out."

I embarrassingly punched him in the shoulder, "Shut up! Respect your Sergeant." 

He crossed his arms, "Looks to me like you're playing civilian. A civilian just punched a military officer." I furrowed my eyebrows as Nigel continued, "You don't look good. You look like a bodybuilder in a dress."

I had nothing to say. 

Do I?

He snickered, "Enjoy your date." I walked away with a new insecurity. 

Am I too big? Am I too buff? My job requires me to work out, but am I too muscular?

My thoughts were clouded as I made my way to the park. I saw Yang there with flowers. He was stylish. "Hi Y/N." 

My eyes widened. 

I'm not used to hearing my name. "Oh, hello." He smiled while handing me the flowers, "Come sit." 

I finally took a look at my surroundings. Jeongin made a little makeshift picnic. "It's not Chik-Fil-A, but I tried." 

I smiled and carefully sat down. "You look good in yellow." I tucked my loc behind my ear, "Thanks." 

He smiled back and looked at me. I wasn't paying attention when he started talking because I was thinking hard.

He said I looked good in yellow. Do I look good in the dress? I shouldn't eat, I should lose the weight then. I don't want to look huge. I need to get muscular but dainty. What meal plan do I have to follow to get like that.

"Y/N!?" I blinked as I looked at Yang. "You okay? You spaced off completely. I called your name like five times. Am I boring you? You wanna go somewhere else?" 

I shook my head, "No-no! You already set up." 

Jeongin said, "What's on your mind?" His voice got soft when he asked. It made my heart flutter when the concern bubbled from his throat.

"Nothing." He crossed his arms, "C'mon. Age-old tricks get you nowhere. What's wrong?" He smiled as he waited for an answer. 

I played with my fingers in my lap and whispered, "Just something stupid Nigel said." He leaned in, and I couldn't help but notice how buff his arms were. "What'd he say?" 

"I look like a bodybuilder in this dress."

He quirked his eyebrow, "You surprise me. Didn't take you as someone naïve." I looked up at him in shock. 

"Yes, your arms are a little muscular," He leaned over to squeeze them, "But you're still tiny." He kissed my cheek, "Now eat. I worked hard to beg Minho to make these chicken sandwiches."

I was still shocked by the kiss. I came up with a conversation, "Minho is your bandmate, right?" He nodded as he chewed his sandwich. 

"Second oldest hyung. I'm the maknae." I nodded, "What's it like being famous?" 

He looked up at me, "It feels like I have these guardian angels around me all the time. It feels like a higher power is protecting me. When I go out, people recognize me. I can tell even when they don't come up to me. If something happened to me, my fans got my back." 

I smiled, "You actually love your fans?" He nodded excitedly, "... It's like when your favorite cousin comes over for a sleepover." I laughed, "I get that." 

I ate the chicken, "Wow, this is good. Is Minho single?" He squinted his eyes, "Not funny, will never be funny." I smiled, "I'm kidding."

I thought, "Would I get to meet them? Your bandmates?" He nodded, "Them before my parents." I laughed, "Probably for the better." 

He raised an eyebrow, "What about you? When do I meet your parents?" 

I smiled, "Well, they're both dead, but we can meet their graves in America." Jeongin pouted, "I walked into that. How'd it happen?"

I said, "Bank robbery." I popped a strawberry in my mouth, "I was 17 when it happened. I had to go into foster care and got kicked out the day I turned 18. Came to the military to get money."

He nodded along, "That's upsetting. I get why you don't trust people then." 

I nodded, "Not even. It was just a traumatic time. I felt like life was so unfair. I was still grieving, and to be homeless while trying to go to high school was not fun. I got bullied." 

He furrowed his eyebrows, "That's super fucked up." I smiled, "I got suspended because I fought the whole group of girls and won. My dad was an ex-convict, so I know how to prison fight." 

Jeongin laughed, "And there it is." I smiled, "Not a Y/N story until I get slick at the mouth with someone." 

Yang laughed, "I love your slick-ass mouth. It's hilarious." I laughed, "You like bratty girls, don't you?" He shrugged, "You're gonna have to find out." 

I rolled my eyes, "Might have to find more than one thing in the bedroom." I sipped my water, and he laughed. "Trust, you make me so hard that it grows three times the size!" 

I laughed back, "Did you just admit to having a small penis, Yang?" He leaned closer, "I told you, my name is Jeongin." He kissed me deeply and slowly.

My arms wrapped around his neck as he slowly pushed us on the blanket. His hands kept him above me as one lifted the already short dress higher up my thigh.

"Mm~" He smiled against my lips as he kissed me again, "You like that?" I nodded, and he looked down, "You like being touchy, don't you?" I nodded again. "Fuck. You're so adorable when you're under me." 

He pulled away and sat up. "I have to keep my composure with you. You're dangerous." He pulled the corner of the blanket onto his lap. 

He was right about how fast and big it grows. It was huge.

I bit my lip and looked away, "I should probably tell you, I've never had sex before." He smiled, "I can tell. I'll make sure you can handle it."

I giggled at the thought of it. Jeongin cheesed, "Oh, you're a nasty girl."

"You'll just have to find out."

We'd been together for a couple weeks now. We'd sneak around and mess around. It was honestly so fun with Jeongin. 

Jeongin was actually a funny person. We had each other's sense of humor. He was also very lively and had a HIGH sex drive.

The two of us hadn't done IT yet. Mostly because I'm scared to. He hasn't mentioned it. He always stops when it gets too far or when I cum from his fingers. 

He's a patient man. Even though there will be times he invites himself into my office to display his boner. He won't mention anything.

Only a few know about what's going on between us. Everyone knows not to fuck with me because I'll have you on cleaning duty, and you'll be starting with the kitchen refrigerator. 

"Sergeant L/N, it's your boyfriend." I rolled my eyes, "What the fuck do you want Nigel." 

He walked in and sat on my seat, "You know Yang cursed me out after saying you looked buff in a dress. Ah, fun times. Now, we have an assignment. There's a new gen of trainees. They want to make you train a team." I sighed, "I don't want to, but fine, I guess." 

I smiled to myself while thinking of Jeongin. He'd been on my mind all day. He said he had something planned after work for me. He always gives me his time and attention. 

"Stop thinking of your boyfriend and take this folder of paperwork. It had the trainee's background at Bootcamp." 

I nodded, looking at the first page, "Ah, this person cried and peed himself on the second day? Jesus. Why does Commander give me all the weak ones." 

Nigel laughed, "Because your softness on them makes them tough." I bit my cheek, "Alright, get out." He stood snickering and left the room. 

I was only sitting on this for five minutes before I heard another knock on the door. 

I opened the door, "Nigel, what the hell do you want now-" 

Jeongin smiled and pulled me into a tight hug. "I finished early. Now, give me a kiss." I wiggled my head out of his tight headlock and kissed his cheek. 

He kicked the door behind him, "A real one." I laughed and kissed him for real. His lips were soft, and his breath was light on my top tip. 

He sucked in a breath, and his hands traveled to my waist. He lifted his shirt, and I gasped. "Here?!" He turned around and locked the door. 

"Whose gonna know?" I laughed as he lifted me onto my desk and kissed down my neck. I moaned as he lifted my shirt. He threw it on the floor and sucked on the hickeys he left last time.

He unzipped my pants and rubbed his thumb over my clit. "You couldn't even wait for tonight?" He smiled, "Because you looked so good today. You look so good in uniform." I bit my lip as he kissed my ear.

I felt his fingers dip into my panties. My legs spread absentmindedly. "Fuck, you're so submissive to me." I leaned back, using my hands to prop me up on the desk. "It feels good." 

"Can you sit on my face tonight?" I nodded, moaning to his rhythm. 

He was always slow and steady. Always curling his fingers until it hit my gummy spot. 

My stomach started to feel tight as he sped up. "I love it when you make that face for me. You're about to cum on my fingers? Hm, baby?" I nodded as I felt myself about to release.

I held his shoulder to keep me steady. He pulled his fingers out and flipped me over my own desk. 

He pulled down my pants and dug his face into my pussy. I moaned as his tongue swiped over my clit. 

"Shit. Innie, I'm cumming." He only dug his fingers deeper into my hole. I covered my mouth as I came all over his fingers. Jeongin licked me clean, "Give me your underwear." I stepped out of my underwear. "They're so wet. You're so nasty. Letting me take you in your office." 

I turned around, and he pressed a kiss on my lips. He kissed me harder as his big hands wrapped over my ass. He tightly squeezed it and let go. My ass jiggled from his release. 

"You have such a pretty ass. Pretty stretch marks, pretty skin... from my pretty girl." I bit my lip, feeling shy. "You like my stretch marks?" 

He smiled and gave me another kiss, "You're gonna get more when I get you pregnant. If you don't like them, you better start now." 

I had put on my clothes and was ready for this makeshift date Jeongin had made up.

He kicked out his roommate and made a movie night. It is endearing. I sat on his office carpet floor, and he pulled me into a cuddle. 

"You wanna watch Ponyo again?" I smiled, "I love how you always wanna watch my movies. What do you wanna watch?" He thought, "I heard 'The Challengers' with Zendaya was pretty good." 

I turned to him, not having it, "Either you love Zendaya, or you just wanna watch sex movies with me." He smiled, "Euphoria wasn't a movie." I rolled my eyes, "Baby, we already did stuff three days ago, two days ago, yesterday we did it four times, then today, and you wanna do it even more?! I'm exhausted." 

He looked at me seriously, "You want me to calm down?" I could tell he was taking it to heart, "I-uh...no." He clicked his tongue, "That's what I thought. Now, pick a movie." I sheepishly smiled and turned on Ponyo.

I'm predictable, I know!

We sat together watching it. We ended up moving to the couch and spooning. Jeongin was a little spoon, mostly because I liked being pressed against the back of the sofa. I felt safer here. My arms were on his shoulder as I watched from behind his big frame. 

Jeongin said, "This is my favorite part for some reason." Sosuke walked outside to see the water reaching the doorway. I smiled as I reminisced. 

This movie got me through a lot. 

"Ah, I love when the boat gets big because of her magic!" Jeongin turned to me, "You are so cute." I pouted, "When will you see me as sexy?" 

"When you take all your clothes off." 

I rolled my eyes and shoved my hand on his face. I turned his head, "Watch the movie horn-hog."

Honestly, I liked that he was so horny all the time. It was so attractive. He said, "You look so cute in my clothes. How am I supposed to contain myself?" "By watching the movie." 

Jeongin said, "You think I don't notice when you mouth the words?" 

He turned to me with that smile. He lifted me onto his lap, and my middle felt how hard his dick was.

"It's so cute when you do that. How many times have you seen this?" 

I smiled, "219 times." He laughed, "That's like 3% of your life dedicated to this movie."

I said, "Actually, 2.7%. I did the math. This movie reminds me of my childhood. How good I had it, how big my imagination was. How big the world seemed." 

He cupped my cheek, "The world is big." I scrunched my nose and leaned down to kiss him. Both my hands kept me propped on his big chest.

"Your dick is bigger." He smiled, "That's my girl." 

He flipped us over instantaneously, "You wanna feel it for me?" I laughed, "Not in the living room." He sighed while scooping me up bridal style and threw me on the bed.

"What about in my room?" He smiled at me as I crawled over to the edge of the bed. 

He bent down on one knee to meet my eyes, "Cutie, you wanna try today?" His eyes were sincere. 

"Trying going all the way? Y-yeah." 

He smiled, "No pressure. You can always tell me when to stop." 

He smiled at me as he pushed me on the bed gently. I expected him to be rougher. 

He's all talk. He's actually the sweetest and gentlest baby ever.

He loves to take care of me too.

He slid off his sweatpants from my body. "Always wearing my clothes." I nodded as he kissed my neck.

I let out a soft moan as he dug his fingers into my hole. "You're still stretched out. But I'll need to add another finger." 

He shoved in a third finger, and I moaned out in pain. "Nng~" He whispered between my legs, "I know, baby." 

He looked up, "You feel comfortable taking your shirt off?" I nodded as I pulled it off.

Jeongin's lips teased my clit. He kept flicking it. I bit my lip when I felt his other hand slide to my chest. 

He rolled my nipple between his big, callased fingers. 

"You feel good, baby?" I could only whimper, "Mhm~" 

I felt my stomach growing a knot, "I'm gonna cum soon." He let out a soft sigh, "Cum for me, baby. I can't wait to watch you shake under me." 

I loved how much of a talker he was in the bedroom. He always pushed me to the edge with his words. "Your sweet pussy is gonna cum all over my fingers, hm?" I nodded as he went faster. 

My moans only got longer as I squeezed my thighs around his head. "Ah~ I-I'm gunna... mmm~" I came on his fingers.

He pulled away, "I can't lick you clean today, I need that for me." He looked me over before kissing my nose, "I'll be back." He walked to his bathroom and came back with a pack of condoms. "Not sure how long until I wear you out, I brought three condoms." 

I shook my head in disbelief. I knew he was only half joking.

He slid his pants down. His dick was so hard. "Can you put it on for me, baby?"

Fuck yes.

I crawled over, now in only a bra. I pulled down Jeongin's boxers and watched his dick spring out.

It slapped his stomach as it touched right above the belly button. It was huge, I've never seen his dick before. It was pale, and the tip was pink. 

I put it in my hand as I felt it throb.

His hand immediately gripped my head as he observed me. 

I carefully slid on the condom. I never put one on before, so I struggled a bit. Jeongin groaned as he watched.

"Fuck, your so cute." He grabbed both wrists with one hand and moved his hand from my head. He slid on the condom, and his head dove back.

My warm palms were right back on his dick. "Fuck, Y/N. What are you doing?" I slid his long and thick dick in my mouth.

I kept going until it reached the back of my throat. 

"Fuck! Yes, baby, take it." I moaned as my eyes fluttered closed. "Fuck, your throat feels so good, baby." 

My hands were on his thigh as I sucked on his tip. Jeongin had put his hand back on my head. 

"Just like that." He pushed my head back and forth. 

"Let me fuck your throat. I want to watch you gag on me." I let his dick drag on my tongue as I looked at him with my doe eyes. 

He bit his lip, trying to keep his composure. He grabbed my chin and kissed me hard.

"Put it back in your mouth, baby." I grabbed his dick and started sucking it. He held my head steady as he thrust deep into my throat. 

Apparently, I don't have a gag reflex. Jeongin's dick slid right into my throat. 

His tip grazed against my front teeth, and I felt him shiver. "Oh fuck. Just like that baby." I swirled my tongue around his dick as my other hand massaged his balls. 

His grip on my locs tightened. His thrust got quicker as he began to groan. "Oh yeah, baby. Let me destroy that pretty little throat." 

He never was usually like this. Jeongin has always been a gentle horn monster. Hearing him speak like this to me made me hot and bothered. 

My fingers traveled to my pussy as I began to finger myself to his fast-paced rhythm. "Fuck yes, baby. Touch yourself to me." 

He went faster, but his thrusts were shallow. I started gasping with every moan, which led him to pull out a little.

Jeongin squeezed his eyes shut as he began to let out a long moan. "Fuck Y/N, I'm cumming." 

He came in the condom, and I watched as it leaked through the condom. I swiped my finger across his twitching dick and licked my finger.

He tasted salty.

Jeongin then pushed me on the bed, "It's your turn, I'm gonna fuck you so deep and slow, you won't know your own name."

I pulled off the used condom and put on a new one. Jeongin gripped my wrist and put the fingers I used to finger myself in his mouth. 

His tongue swirled around my fingers, and I moaned.

He positioned his dick into my pussy and shoved it in there.

I felt the immediate stretch. I felt so stuffed like my pussy was about to pop.

I squeezed my eyes closed and let out another pained whimper. My hand dropped from Jeongin's mouth, and he kissed my cheeks.

"You okay?" I nodded, "Yeah, you're just really big." He smiled gently, "Am I too big, or are you super tight?" He kissed my forehead, "Relax for me. It'll feel better." 

He slowly pulled out and thrust back in. My hand gripped his shoulder. "Agh~" He panted, "Fuck your tight little pusy is squeezing around me." 

I moaned as his thrust gotta a little rougher. His dick was already hitting my gummy spot. 

I muttered, "Faster." My body was shaking from pleasure as he picked up the pace. Already, my stomach was tying the knot around him. I let out loud moans. 

I felt like I was peeing as this wet substance sprayed out of me. I started to shake uncontrollably.

Jeongin pulled out quickly and kissed my neck, "You feel good, don't you, baby?" I nodded as I continued to ramble incoherent words in pleasure.

My body relaxed as Jeongin rubbed my thigh. I said sadly, "Did I just pee?" He smiled, "No, babe. You were so aroused that you squirted."

I looked away from him. He continued, "That's a good thing." 

I huffed, "Can we keep going, or does that mean we have to stop?" He cheesed, "Do you wanna keep going?" 

I nodded, "I do." He smiled and towered back over me. He positioned himself back in, but this time his dick popped right in. The pain was thin between pleasure.

I let out another moan, and he sunk into me. I bit my lip as he thrust into me at the same pace. He whispered in my ear, "I won't lie. Watching you squirt was the hottest thing I've ever seen you do."

I let out a laugh, but it turned into a moan as he roughly slammed into me. 

The knot got tighter as I curled into him. My neck dove back, and Jeongin took it as the perfect opportunity to suck on my sweet spot. 

I felt myself starting to cum all over again. "Ah~ I'm gonna cum Innie." He thrust faster as he rubbed my thighs in a circular motion. 

I balled the sheets into my hands and felt myself cum. My eyes rolled to the back of my head as my back arched.

"Fuck!" I squeezed around Jeongin's dick leading him to twitch. But he didn't cum. 

He let me ride out my orgasm, and relax a little before the next round. Instead, he held me mid-air, and my legs hooked on his shoulder. He was slamming into me quickly. My moans were loud in his ear as he panted from his rhythm.

"Oh fuck! You're so deep~" My body swung into the air and collided with his stomach. The squelching noises of my pussy were loud in the air. 

He sighed as he started to throb in me. He carefully placed me on the bed and fucked me from behind. My face was digging into the sheets as he slapped my ass hard. 

We were at least on the third condom by now. My legs shook as I cried out, "Fuck, I'm cumming!" He said with a satisfied groan, "Me too, baby girl." 

Our moans harmonized as I fell over. Jeongin plopped onto the bed and caught his breath.

"You're such a good girl." He cupped my cheek and kissed me deeply.

We cuddled that night all night long. When I woke up, he was there, and with breakfast.

We traveled together to America on leave, and he visited my parents. And we ate Chik-Fil-A because I cried the whole car ride back.

That was the day I told him I loved him too.

[losers-clvb]

i love you, i'm sorry pt. 2 // sam winchester

pairing: sam winchester x bobby's daughter!reader

summary: a teenaged sam left you broken. now he's back and you're not sure what to do.

content: angst, swearing, reader is bobby's daughter, big brother dean is back again, reader is tempted to shoot sam, some slight miscommunication, fluff, smut, fingering, shower sex, unprotected piv penetration, some dirty talk from sam to reader, bobby being a classic dad

word count: 6.9k

note: this is the second part, so if you haven't read the first, i would recommend doing so!

masterlist part one

----

A heavy silence made the shopping trip and ride back home hard. Sam didn’t try to talk to you again. He couldn’t handle hearing how much more you hated him. Now, the three men and you sat at the table, much like you had that morning. You picked at your plate, not feeling hungry after the intense emotions of the day. Dean looked between you and Sam suspiciously. He could tell something had happened. He wanted to ask, but knew that Bobby knew nothing of the situation.

Dinner was quiet. It was nothing like the meals of the past that had been filled with laughter and hidden glances. Bobby attempted to start a conversation when asking what you had planned for the next day. This had been met with some bullshit response about cleaning the kitchen and it was back to the quiet again. Sam was the first to excuse himself. He claimed he was tired. You rolled your eyes. If anyone was tired, it should be you. It had been exhausting to watch out of the corner of your eye for someone who seemed to be trying to chase you down.

Next was Bobby with the same reasoning as Sam. You let this one slide past without annoyance. He was your dad. That left you and Dean. You could sense the questions bubbling in him. You didn’t want to answer them. Not when you could feel some leftover sadness trying to unbury itself inside you. You stood and took care of what remained of dinner. Dean followed you.

“What happened?” His voice was low, but there was no mistaking what he was asking about. You placed a bowl into the refrigerator.

“He wanted a normal life. Apparently I didn’t fit into his plans.” You were completely guessing on the last part. You assumed that was why you had been abandoned, but you had no confirmation of this.

“He said that?” Dean didn’t believe that for one second. He had known about Sam’s feelings for you before Sam did. Once his younger brother had discovered the wanting for you, it was all he would hear about. “Did you see what she wore today?” or “She’s so beautiful” or even the occasional “I think I’m in love with her”. There wasn't a universe in which Sam would ever stop loving you.

“Basically.” You scraped a plate over the trash. Dean watched as you filled a sink with warm, soapy water before taking a spot beside you to help with the cleaning. You both worked in silence, you washing the dishes and Dean rinsing them. You sighed and leaned into him while they air dried on a towel next to the sink. He stood strong as you did so, watching the water drain. He knew you were tired, knew you had been tired since the moment you woke up. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders.

“Let’s get you to bed, yeah?” Dean spoke with his voice just barely above a whisper. You let him guide you up the stairs and tuck you in. The last thing you heard before drifting off to sleep was the click of your door closing.

----

Dean closed the door to your room and turned around, ready to go to his own bedroom. When he turned around, however, he was met with his younger brother. Sam looked at him with those puppy dog eyes he pulled out whenever he wanted something. Dean raised an eyebrow before moving past him, not entirely sure if he wanted to have a conversation with Sam after hearing what you told him.

“What?” Dean asked when he felt Sam follow him. He entered his room and began to ready himself for the night, a short routine.

“What did she tell you?” Sam asked while standing in the doorway. He could tell something was off. You had said something, maybe the truth, maybe not, it didn’t matter. The only thing he needed to know is if you truly did hate him.

“Enough.” Dean answered, irritation bubbling in him. Growing up with you he had always hated when you were hurting. Whether it be school bullies, disappointment from spilled milk, a skinned knee, Dean was always happy to clean up the mess. It was the same way he was with Sam, which made for quite the mental argument for himself in this situation. On one hand, Sam was his brother and he was, from the moment Sam had been born, supposed to take care of him for all his life. On the other hand, you were Bobby’s only child, practically a sister to him, someone who always made sure he had something to eat.

Sam sighed in frustration at Dean’s answer. He didn’t have time for this.

“Just tell me what she said.” Sam demanded. He wasn’t angry. It was the guilt eating away at him constantly since he had set his eyes on your familiar face again. He knew he had his reasons for leaving, very valid reasons, but he could never come up with a decent enough excuse for leaving you in the dark. He knew you would have talked with Dean about the situation in some capacity. He also knew that Dean, whether from you telling him or him just figuring it out on his own, knew something was going on between you and Sam.

“She told me that you’re a dick who treated her like some chick you met at the bar.” Dean rounded on Sam, keeping his voice low to not alert the others in the house. The glare he had sent Sam softened when he saw how his younger brother’s face fell.

“She hates me.” Sam said mostly to himself. He collapsed onto the bed with his head in his hands. Dean took a seat beside him, feeling his own guilt for blowing up on his brother.

“What did you do, Sammy?” Dean asked. He had already heard what you had to say but he wanted to hear Sam’s side of it all. He knew better than anyone that anger and heartbreak could make a person say things they didn’t mean. Sam looked up before speaking.

“I loved-,” Sam flinched and corrected himself, “love her. I love her.” He needed to repeat it, just for himself to hear.

“When I… left, I messed things up. Every single night all I wanted to do was call and hear her voice.” Sam was finding it hard to say the words out loud. It was the first time he had vocalized the whole situation.

“So why didn’t you?” Dean was thinking the whole thing was stupid. If you were in love with someone you never let them go. Of course, that advice applied to everyone but him.

“I couldn’t, Dean. Everytime I thought about it, something stopped me from doing it.” Sam sighed, hating himself already for how he handled things. Dean didn’t know what to say. He could tell Sam hadn’t wanted to hurt you, but that didn’t mean everything was fine. You were hurting, bad, even if you claimed to only be angry.

“Did you tell her this?” Dean asked. He already knew the answer. Sam hadn’t told you, or if he did, he had said it in a way that distracted you from what the words really meant.

“Not in all those words.” Sam mumbled, feeling embarrassed from how he had reacted to you earlier. Dean rolled his eyes. God, you and Sam were practically the same person. No one wanting to admit what was said.

“Well in what words then?”

“When she, um, when she yelled at me, I yelled back.” Sam avoided Dean’s eyes. Dean sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. He was starting to get a headache from all of this.

“You need to tell her. You need to tell her everything.” Dean looked at his brother. Sam nodded.

“I know.” Sam replied. Dean clapped a hand onto Sam’s shoulder and gave him a sarcastic smile.

“Then get out so I can sleep.” With that, Sam left the room. He wasn’t sure if he should find you now or wait until morning. He decided quickly that this couldn’t wait, he needed to see you now. He walked to your door, much like he had the night before. This time when his knock was met with silence, he opened the door to see you in a deep sleep. He sighed, knowing he didn’t want to wake you. In your sleep you looked closer to the girl he had left behind: peaceful and angerless. He swallowed and left your room to go to his own for the night.

----

This time when you woke up, it was the middle of the night. You glanced at the alarm clock by your bed.

3:00 AM

Perfect. Another sleepless night. It was useless to try to sleep again. Your mind was awake. It hadn't helped that you had been dreaming before you woke up. Dreaming of Sam. Of him holding you, kissing you, loving you and never leaving. It was painful when you looked back on it. Maybe you didn't hate him like you said you did.

You sat up in bed. How could you pass the time? Some fresh air might be helpful, the night only slightly chilly this time of year. You pulled yourself out of bed. After grabbing a zip up hoodie, you stared at your bedside table where a gun was stored in the top drawer. It was true that you weren't a hunter, not physically anyways. You were more inclined to research and find the cases. Bobby hadn't wanted you out there risking your life, but he also didn't want you sneaking around with some other hunter. So, he had given you the option and you had chosen to simply learn the basics. He taught you how to shoot, how to salt the windows and doorways, how to punch. You know, the father-daughter time every family experiences.

You made the decision to grab the gun, just in case. Town was pretty safe but you didn't want to risk anything. You tucked it into your pocket, safety on, and made the journey to the back porch. Once there, you shut the door behind you and took a seat on the steps leading to the yard. The sky was clear and you could see the stars twinkling back at you. The moon, not quite full but almost there, shone a yellow-white light. You were content just sitting there with nothing but your thoughts and the crickets chirping in the grass.

You needed to think about how you truly felt about Sam. The stubborn part of you insisted that you hated him, that you wanted nothing but to never see him again. When you pushed past that, you knew that you truly did love him. You always would. It was as if it was chosen for you far before you were born. You wanted him in your life forever.

But there was another thing living inside you. Doubt. You were scared that even if you did let yourself love Sam again that he would leave you again. What if he found another way for a normal life, a way that didn't involve you? What if he left you again, this time for good?

A noise broke you out of your thoughts. You felt a presence behind you. In one swift movement, you had your gun pressed against the intruder's chest. You looked up at Sam with wild eyes, but he could see the fear in them. That fear morphed into sadness then a wall of anger came to defend you. You didn't move the gun.

“Are you going to shoot me?” Sam asked with a nervous laugh when you didn't seem to move away. You narrowed your eyes at him.

“Maybe.” You replied, still standing in the same way. You flexed your jaw before speaking again.

“What do you want?” You knew he had gone out for you. He had been trying to get you to talk to him again after the fight in the car, but you had continued on with your mission to ignore him.

“I want to talk.” Sam repeated his words from earlier. When you still didn't move the gun from him, he slowly moved his hands to cup around yours and the gun. You let him, only flinching slightly when he made contact. Moving together, your hand was lowered and he carefully coaxed the weapon from you, placing it on the porch near the steps. The whole thing happened without you and Sam breaking eye contact.

“Please.” Sam pleaded with you. After a moment you nodded and reclaimed your former spot on the step. Sam let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and joined you, leaving only a foot of space between your bodies. You looked out to the yard as you waited for him to speak.

“I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for everything I've ever done to hurt you. Including today, including back then, and even including that time I pushed you when we were kids.” Sam blurted the words out. You smiled at the last memory, remembering how a ten year old Sam had jokingly pushed you into a lake without knowing you couldn't swim. He had been the one to jump in after you, but it still brought on an embarrassing guilt to him that you always felt when you did something wrong as a child. You still didn't look at him. You were afraid that you would cry if you did.

“I messed up. I should have called or… I don't know, done anything other than what I did. I thought about you every single night. I really did.” Sam continued on. You kept your eyes on an ant hill that you had spotted.

“Then why didn't you?” You asked in a small voice.

“Every time I picked up the phone, something in me wouldn't allow your number to be dialed. I was scared of ending up like my father. Of losing you like he lost my mother and turning into him. I thought I wanted a normal life, but I think all I really want is you.” Sam reached a hand over to softly grasp yours. You allowed this, which sparked hope in Sam.

“I love you.” Sam's words made you turn your head to look at him. Sure, he had said them before, but teenagers said things they didn't mean all the time. You could see it now that Sam meant them with every fiber of his being.

“I love you so much. I always have and I always will. Nothing could ever take that away. You don't have to feel the same, you can hate me forever, but I will always look for you in everything.” The declaration of love made your stomach erupt in a tornado of butterflies. Your eyes watered at the emotion you were feeling and you looked away from Sam as a tear fell. Sam's expression turned to panic as he realized what was happening. He rushed to close the space between you and pulled you into his arms.

“Hey, hey,” he said into your hair, trying to get your attention to stop your crying. His care of you only increased the tears. These weren't like the ones you shed back in high school. These were happy, relieved tears. Tears that were brought on when you felt that overwhelming love and comfort from Sam.

“What's wrong?” Sam asked, his hold on you tightening in a way that he knew calmed you. He had only seen you have a panic attack once, when everything had just piled on way too much, but he remembered how you seemed to calm from the pressure. You did the same now, but the tears kept rolling.

“I've waited so long to hear you say that again.” Was your only response. It broke Sam's heart when he saw what his actions had actually caused. This wasn't the anger you used to keep from him, or the lack of attention you had been showing him that week. This was heartbreak, grief from the loss of someone you had never imagined loosing. But with his words came the first aid kit that your heart needed to mend itself. It pushed the defense strategies away and left only the pure emotion of love.

You tilted your head up to his. Tears still rolled down your cheeks, but they were slowing. You hesitated at first, but in the end, Sam felt your lips on his. It was baffling the way you two fit together so perfectly. The kiss wasn't lustful, but that didn't mean it lacked passion. No, this kiss was full of the passion that Sam felt when he held you in his arms and knew, from that moment on, he would never let you go again.

----

That morning - only a few hours after you and Sam had kissed -, you were wrapped up in Sam's arms. You both were sleeping in your room, in your bed. Everyone's clothes had stayed on through the night despite what someone may have assumed if they caught the two of you. No, after the kiss, it was apparent you and the Winchester needed sleep. It just so happened that when it came time for you to split off to your separate rooms, no one wanted to let go. So, here you were now: you cuddled into Sam's side and Sam, who looked oddly out of place in your nest of pink blankets, holding you while you slept. He had been awake for around half an hour but hadn't wanted to disrupt your sleep. He lay there, rubbing his thumb across your skin soothingly and watching the way you quietly snored into his chest. You were his again, all his, and in the morning light he knew his earlier thought of never letting you go would be his sole purpose in life.

Your nose scrunched as you woke. You opened your eyes to see Sam looking back at you. You smiled to him, a gesture that he returned.

“Were you watching me sleep?” You asked, your voice only slightly above a whisper. Sam craned his neck to place a kiss on your lips.

“Just thinking to myself how lucky I am that I get to wake up to this.” Sam mumbled into you. You wiggled your body up so that your faces were level with each other, smiling sweetly. You felt like a teenager again, feeling like nothing mattered other than the person you were with. Sam's hands fell to your hips.

The kiss was growing deeper, more passionate. Your own hands found their home on the back of Sam's neck. Your mouths moved in sync and you felt the need crawl up into you. You ground your hips into him, resulting in a groan from Sam. His hands traveled from your hips, up to your waist, moving under your shirt. He lifted the fabric up and over your head, exposing the top half of your body to the morning light. He placed a chaste kiss on your lips before moving down to your breasts. He cupped one in his hands and kissed the other, eyeing the necklace he had given you for your birthday that lay in between the mounds. You closed your eyes as he kneaded the soft skin. Your hands tangled in his hair.

“Sam,” you breathed out, almost against your will. His response was to move his free hand down, dipping past the waistband of your pajamas. He felt the arousal leaking from you and smirked to himself.

“All of this for me, pretty girl?” He mumbled against your skin. He rubbed circles on your clit with two fingers.

“Of,” you began, but hissed in pleasure when he began to touch you, “of course.” You finished your sentence just as Sam pushed the two fingers into you. You bit down on your bottom lip to keep a loud moan from escaping. Sam moved his fingers in and out of you, occasionally nipping at the skin on your chest. You rolled your hips into him, desperate for release.

You were doing a pretty good job of keeping the noises at a low volume until Sam started to use his thumb to rub circles onto your clit while he pumped his fingers into you. A loud whimper erupted from your lips. Sam's hand that held your breast shot to cover your mouth, something you were grateful for. While Sam loved hearing the effect he had on you, he knew that he could risk drawing attention to your room. Between Dean and Bobby roaming the house, there was no way he could let you be as loud as he wanted.

Sam felt you tighten around his fingers as your orgasm grew closer. This only encouraged him further. It was a sight, the two of you intertwined in each other. Your hands in his hair, his hands in their respective places on your mouth and hidden in your pants. A final moan from you vibrated against Sam as your body tingled in the intense pleasure of your release. Sam helped you through it, only pulling his fingers out of you once your body relaxed.

You pulled your fingers from Sam's hair. Sam stayed where he was, opting to lay his head on your naked chest instead of returning to his place next to you.

“I missed you.” You said to him. You meant it in every way, not just from the revelation over the years that no one would be able to touch you in the way that Sam did. His chuckle shook both of your bodies and he looked up at you.

“You missed me?” He repeated your words in a questioning tone, an air of suggestive teasing sparkling across his eyes. You rolled your own eyes at him and looked away, leaving him unanswered.

“Let's get you cleaned up.” Sam offered before pulling you up with him.

----

It had turned out Dean and Bobby left to go into town for supplies for a project you had no interest in remembering about. This information came from a note that was taped to your door. It was perfect, just the thing you and Sam needed after your eventful morning. You both slipped into the bathroom. Under the excuse of ‘saving time’, it was decided that the pair of you would shower together.

With the shower running to heat the water, you and Sam stripped. It had been a while since the two of you had been completely naked in front of each other. Sam had grown from that awkward, lanky boy into a filled out man. Your eyes raked over his body, tempted to ask for a round two. Sam ran his tongue across his lips at the sight of you. You were so beautiful, that's all he could think as he followed you into the shower and pulled the curtain closed.

Sam let you stand under the water first. He watched while you wet your hair with closed eyes. When you opened your eyes to see him, it was your turn to smirk. You beckoned him to you with a finger. It took no hesitation for him to rush to you, taking you into his arms. You squealed out a giggle when he crashed his lips into yours. You knew then that this shower was about to last a lot longer than expected.

Sam bit down on your lip, not harsh enough to draw blood but still enough to make you gasp. You felt yourself be lifted up. Your back was against the shower wall, your legs wrapped around Sam's waist as he pushed himself into you. You groaned at how he filled you, causing Sam to pause in alarm.

“Move. Please.” You broke the kiss to pant out. Sam responded by reclaimed your lips and moving his hips steadily. You moaned into him as he found the perfect angle and pace to fuck you in.

“So perfect, baby, the best fucking pussy I've ever had.” Sam muttered as his hips slammed against yours. His voice made the butterflies in your stomach flutter to life. When you clenched around him, he moaned.

“God, you do that again and it'll make this the quickest I've ever come.” Sam's fingers dug into the soft of your hips. The back and forth pressure of his pubic bone on your clit as just enough to send you into overdrive.

“Sam,” you mumbled. This only made him speed up his movements.

“Say my name, baby.” Sam rested his head on the wall next to yours as he pounded into you.

“Sam, S-Sam, Sam,” you repeated his name over and over, feeling yourself growing closer to your second orgasm of the day. Sam felt his own coming onto him and the sound of his name on your tongue helped him keep you both upright through the pleasure.

It dawned on you then that even with how many times Sam had told you he loved you through the night, you had never responded with the same words. You weren't scared to say them, not anymore.

“I love you, Sam. I,” you swallowed when he angled his hips just slightly more upright to drive into just the right spot, “oh my god, I love you so much.”

That was Sam's undoing, hearing you say those words to him. When you felt him spill into you, it brought on your own release. His pace slowed, turning sloppy. When he stopped, still sheathed inside you, you placed a kiss behind his ear. As you both tried to catch your breath, the sound of the bathroom door opening was drowned out by the stream of the shower. It wasn't until Dean called your name that his presence was known to you. Sam whipped his head up, holding his breath. You tensed and squeezed your eyes shut.

“Yeah?” You answered, praying to God or whatever greater force there was that he would leave the room quickly.

“I've just gotta grab something quick, don't come out.” Dean spoke loud enough for you to hear. He looked for the item, his wallet that he had left on the counter by the sink. The clothes on the floor caught his eye on his way out. There were yours, as expected, but the black long sleeve piled on a pair of sweatpants were, without a doubt, not belonging to you. He knew instantly who they had come off of and smirked playfully to himself. He knew Bobby was still outside, which was for the best. The old man would probably have a heart attack if he found out his little girl had been defiled in their shower.

“Have a good morning, Sam?” Dean asked cheekily. Sam hung his head low and breathed out in embarrassment. You hummed out a sound, disappointed in the fact you had been caught.

“Uh… yeah.” Sam replied sheepishly, clearing his throat. Dean laughed at the obvious discomfort from his brother.

“Bobby's outside, we've gotta run out again, but we'll be back soon. You jackrabbits better be decent before then.” Those were Dean's final parting words before the bathroom door was swung shut, leaving you and Sam to stare at each other. You burst out a laugh, the interaction suddenly seeming not as terrifying as you had imagined.

“He knows?” You asked Sam, assuming Dean already had some kind of prior knowledge that Sam would try to make up with you.

“He knows.” Sam nodded, his own face breaking out in a smile. He pulled out of you and guided you into a standing position. The water was lukewarm, the hot water steadily running low. You both finished showering, taking turns washing each other's backs. Sam had ended up using your shampoo, making him smell like a flower rather than the musky scent he usually wore.

Once finished, you gathered up two towels, handing one to Sam. Sam wrapped his around his waist while you let yours envelope your body. Your twin morning routines were performed together, brushing your teeth side by side, you patting moisturizer into your face while Sam watched. Your paths split off when you went to your room to get dressed and Sam entered his own to do the same.

----

You and Sam were in the kitchen when the other men arrived home. You were prepping for dinner, even with it being hours away. You had Sam chopping onions while you added spices to the chicken in the glass pan. Bobby walked over to you, bags in hand, and looked into the pan.

“Finally awake?” He asked. He had gotten up before you and hadn't seen you all morning, which was unusual. “We missed ya at breakfast.”

“Had a long night, Dad.” You replied and let Sam reach around you to pour the diced onions into the dish. You wanted to kiss him, but knew you needed to have a talk with your father before any PDA ensued. Dean scoffed at your words, a smirk coming across his face.

“Yeah, I bet.” Dean chimed in, which earned him glares from you and Sam. Bobby, seemingly oblivious to the suggestive tone in his voice, chuckled at your response.

“One of them books keepin’ ya up again?” Bobby offered, giving you the perfect excuse. You had complained a few times before of the exhaustion you had felt after staying up reading all night. You were a frequent flyer at the local library, often times spending a day there reading or talking quietly with the librarians.

“Yep.” You smiled out and washed your hands before covering the glass pan with aluminum foil. You placed it in the refrigerator to let the chicken marinate before you would cook it later that night.

Bobby and Dean excused themselves from the room, muttering something about patching up some siding on the house. Ah. That was right. There had been some animal getting at the side of the house, causing some of the siding to get pulled up out of place. You hummed out a ‘see you later’ as they left to the outside, leaving you and Sam alone again.

----

His lips were on you again. It had started out innocent enough, just a small peck once you were sure it was just you and Sam. It was when he kissed you back with that same need from earlier when it escalated. Now, he had you sitting on the counter with him standing between your legs while your lips moved against each other's. You rested your hands on Sam's sides under his shirt, brushing your thumbs across his ribs. It was dangerous, being so close out in the open. Even more dangerous when Sam pulled you body closer to him so there was no space between.

You hummed into him when you felt his fingertips on your spine. All you felt was Sam. His skin, his warmth, his love. All of it. The rest of the world was nothing when you had him with you. Maybe someone else would think you were moving too fast, doing too much for just having reconnected with a lost love. You just figured you were making up for lost time. Plus, it’s not like anyone would be losing their clothes. Not in the kitchen anyways. You pulled away from Sam and could have sworn a small whine vibrated in his throat.

“Upstairs.” You whispered, not because you were afraid of anyone overhearing, you just didn’t want to break the heat of the moment. Sam took hold of your lips again, needing to kiss you before any relocating occurred. Just as you slipped your tongue into his mouth, you heard the voice of the last person in the world you wanted to see in that moment.

“What in the Sam Hill!” Bobby’s voice cut right through the tension in the room. You ripped away from Sam, your wide eyes settling on your father. Bobby’s face was a mixture of shock and anger. Shock that you were wrapped up in the same boy that, as far as he knew, you hadn’t said more than three words to since his arrival, and anger at the sight of his daughter, his one and only baby girl, being in such a position. He wasn’t mad at you. No, he could never feel anger towards you. He was mad at the man that still had his hands under your shirt. Dean came into view behind Bobby, his pleasant expression dropping when he was able to see what Bobby was seeing.

“What the hell are you doing to my little girl, Samuel?!” Bobby exclaimed out, shaking you from your paralyzed state. You scrambled off the counter after Sam took a few steps backwards and away from you. Your cheeks burned in embarrassment and you dashed to your room. It wasn’t until you slammed your door shut that you remembered you had practically left Sam to the wolves downstairs. You were tempted to go back down there when you heard your father yelling out questions to Sam, but the sound of Dean defending his brother told you he was fine. You turned to sit on your bed and pulled your knees to your chest.

Why? Why had he decided to walk in at that time? It’s not like you were going to hide the relationship forever. You weren’t an immature teen anymore. You just needed to have that talk with Bobby first before anything. You had never brought home a boy, not that there were any boys other than Sam to bring home. He had been your first everything. First crush, first kiss, first boyfriend, first sexual partner. You had been flirted with since he left by a handful of people. First it had been your senior year lab partner, then the waiter at a diner in town, then some guy at the library, and there had been that one new hire in the police department that had dared to come up to you in front of Bobby. You had deemed none of them good enough to fill the hole Sam had left in you.

This had to have been the biggest shock of Bobby’s life. You chewed on the inside of your cheek while listening to the volume downstairs slowly decrease with every word. You knew your father would come around to the idea of you and Sam, but the guilt of him having to find out like this had you questioning why you had waited. You knew, though, that you wanted to sit him down in the evening when everything died down and he had finished his day. Maybe you should have just done it when he first came home.

The sound of your door opening broke you from your thoughts. You turned your head to the door to view the visitor. Your eyes fell to the floor when you saw it was Bobby entering with a weary smile. You refused to look up at him, even when you felt the mattress dip down with his weight on it. No one said anything for a minute, which felt like it lasted eons. Finally, your voice broke the silence.

“Are you mad at me?” Your voice cracked towards the end of the question, fearing he was disappointed in you. Bobby placed a hand on yours, where it was holding your shoulder. You looked at him then. The expression on his face, one of fatherly love and adoration, calmed your nerves instantly.

“I ain’t mad.” Bobby answered, shaking his head. You breathed out in relief, but knew that wasn’t the end of the conversation.

“Sam? Really? That punk idjit?” Bobby questioned. You laughed weakly, knowing Bobby loved Sam as much as you did.

“I’ve always loved him.” You let your body relax and stretched your legs out on the bed. Bobby didn’t look shocked to hear this and you wondered if Sam had said the same. You wished you knew what Sam had said to him, if only to make it easier to steer the conversation in a productive direction.

“I figured as much.” Bobby sighed out. It was then you decided to just come clean about it all. You would leave out that morning, both in your bed and in the shower, obviously. You moved closer to him, making it so that you were sitting directly next to him.

“This all started on my birthday, my sixteenth.” You began, making Bobby furrow his eyebrows in confusion.

“Wait, you lot kept this from me for five years?” He questioned you with raised eyebrows.

“No, no.” You took in a breath before continuing, praying you weren’t going to make anything worse. “When Sam left for college, he, um…” You didn’t want to say the words out loud to your father. Bobby wasn’t dumb. He put it together in his mind and his jaw set in irritation.

“He ignored ya.” Bobby’s voice was firm. He remembered that time, that chunk of months when you moped around the house like a kicked puppy. He didn’t know what had happened and you didn’t tell him. He hadn’t known why back then, but now it all made sense. He should have seen that you just so happened to dull down after the call from Dean that Sam was gone. It all made sense now. He was going to kill that kid.

“Yeah.” You didn’t know how to continue. After a few moments of silence, you cleared your throat.

“Please don’t be mad at him. Please. It was my mess to handle, and everything worked out. Everything’s fine now.” Your voice held a begging tone.

“I hope you gave him hell, darlin'.” Bobby was gruff with his words. You let out another weak laugh, remembering how you had made Sam pay for his actions.

“I almost shot him.” It was Bobby’s turn to laugh.

“Good, good.” Bobby nodded his head in approval. That was his girl. With the information he was given, Bobby still had one more question. He turned to you, face screwed up in pure curious disgust.

“On the counter?” Bobby’s question made you wince. You were quick to shake your head in defense.

“We were only kissing, Dad. It won’t happen again.” You promised him, which earned you a grateful nod. Silence fell over you two again. Bobby hesitated before saying his next words.

“You’re grown, I know that. I also know grown ups involve themselves in…” he chose his next word carefully, “situations.” You knew exactly where he was going with this. The Talk. He had never given it to you. He didn’t think he had a reason to, but he assumed now would be when you really needed it. Your eyes widened in horror.

“Stop!” You blurted out, not wanting to hear another word he had to say on the topic. Bobby appreciated the escape from the conversation, but was still worried for you. He opened his mouth to ask if you knew everything - even though you were twenty one, which was far old enough to know at least the basics - but you stopped him.

“Mrs. Turner gave me the talk when she caught me and Sam the first time.” The sentence spilled out before you had a chance to think about them all. You cringed when Bobby’s mouth fell open in shock.

“The first time?!” Bobby then thought about the first part of your sentence. Mrs. Turner had been your neighbor growing up. Unfortunately for you, she wasn’t anymore. “Mrs. Turner died when you were sixteen.” Bobby recalled.

“It was a few months before that.” You admitted. “I guess we sent her to her grave?” You added with a sheepish smile in an attempt to lessen the blow the information would give your father. Bobby’s hand found a home over his heart as if he was calming himself.

“Oh Lord.” He muttered out.

----

It was the end of dinner time now. The scent of cooked chicken still wafted through the air as you and Sam cleaned up the table. After your talk with Bobby, you had rejoined Sam and Dean downstairs, where they waited in the living room. You didn’t have to hide your love for Sam anymore, much to the dismay of Dean and Bobby everytime you chose to place an innocent kiss on Sam. They were happy for you both, but kind of missed when the PDA was nonexistent.

You handed Sam a rag to wipe the table down with and carried a stack of bowls to the sink. You felt arms wrap around you while the sink filled with the soapy water. Sam would be helping you with dishes tonight. Unlike the help Dean had given you, this night would be filled with Sam standing as close to you as possible. Sam stretched his neck down and around to kiss your lips. You tasted of the strawberry pie you had made for dessert.

“I love you.” Sam told you, his hold unwavering when you reached to turn the faucet off. You smiled and licked your lips.

“I love you too.” You responded and gave him one last kiss before grabbing a sponge.

[littlemissshifter]

hi!! i recently found your blog and i love how you approach shifting in general. after joining tumblr a few months ago, I've made so much more progress since 2020 than ever before. (*^^*)

shifting is basically just becoming aware of the reality you wanna experience and being indifferent to anything else. naturally, you embody the person you are in whatever reality you wanna wake up in, right? right. and according to one of the posts you've reblogged, shifting is what you make of it, so for me, i just decided that in order to wake up in my dr i just have to daydream a bit, talk to myself etc. because that's fun and easy.

but here is something I've been struggling with.

1. my mind will not. shut. up. when i want to shift before falling asleep. i embody my dr self for a few minutes, but then my mind starts to wander to thoughts about my outer reality (e.g. thoughts like "ugh, i don't wanna do xyz in the morning", thinking about the day ahead and other issues) and it keeps happening no matter how much i try to refocus on who i am in my dr. it just keeps reverting back and in the end i completely stop thinking about my dr self because my thoughts get distracted so easily. i know, assuming that something is holding you back from shifting will make it so, but i really feel like this is one of the main things that is stunting my progress. what can i do about this? falling asleep and waking up in my dr is the way i want to shift and i think complicated methods and whatnot are counterproductive.

2. speaking of embodying your dr self, do i have to do that all day? by that i mean, do i have to watch each and every single one of my 3d thoughts like "i don't wanna do this assignment," etc. and replace it with a thought my dr self would have? because if we apply neville and loa to shifting, wouldn't any thought (and by that i also mean habitual and automatic ones like in the example) i have about the 3d, imply that I'm not in my dr and would therefore be a contradiction of my desire? but that seems so tiring and like so much effort. I've already asked a couple of my favorite bloggers about this, but i haven't received an answer, so i would really appreciate one! ( ・∇・)

3. this is a really small question, but how do i absolutely 100% trust myself that I'll wake up in my dr? i know the 4d is the only real reality, but sometimes i assume i wake up there with absolute certainty, and then the 3d still hasn't caught up yet when i wake up in the morning. i usually am like "it's fine, idc about the 3d because I'm there in imagination" when that happens and i get that this (aka using the 3d as a measure for success) is literally the main reason for failure when applying loa, but it's becoming harder to keep assuming the same thing over and over with no progress. (again, typing this, i realize how stupid i sound because this is LITERALLY a "how to not shift/manifest 101" 😭).

thanks a lot, i know this was a long read!! (p.s. can i be 🫧 anon?)

Hiii!! Thank you sm!!

1. It's okay if the mind doesn't shut up. The few minutes you were able to embody your dr self is more than enough. People shift without not even intending to. Let your mind wander after, it helps you relax!! Holding on to those thoughts thinking you shouldn't have them will frustrate you so let's not give them so much importance. Let them be. It's okay feel that way!! But it's not holding you back. Nothing can hold you back from shifting. Just do what you do because you're gonna be waking up in your dr anyways.

2. NO!!! That is not how it's supposed to be. The only thoughts you should be ignoring are the ones when you think you're not in your dr. Doing work in your 3D is not related to them. Importantly, subconscious thoughts related to physical work in the 3D do not hold you back. The subconscious is connected to every reality, it doesn't need to have filtered thoughts. Thoughts aren't the only way to embody your dr self. You can do things that your dr self likes. For example: watching a certain show, eating ice cream, listening to a song or even sleeping. Honestly you don't have to embody your dr self at all to shift, just being aware of your existence in that reality is enough.

3. 3D is real. It's very much real. The only reason we say 4D is the 'real' reality because we choose the things we will experience in the 3D in the 4D. Both are real in different planes of existence. Shifting is a mental decision. You shift internally first. Physical manifestation of your assumption is not the main goal because you have it already. I mean, you chose it didn't you? Keep choosing it over and over. It's your truth. Assumption is basically smth you believe in without seeing the proof. So keep assuming you're doing everything right!!

AND YES YOU CAN BE 🫧 ANON OMG YOU'RE THE FIRST ONE EHHSHS.

Anyways, I hope this helped you!! I've been tying for like 20 minutes lololol.

[nakylvr]

TOO LATE (ALTERNATE)

daniela avanzini x fem!reader ; sophia laforteza x fem!reader

summary: after breaking up with dani a few weeks ago, she repeatedly tries to get in contact with you. ultimately, you end up doing multiple things you thought you would never do

warnings/tags: angst, language, dealer!dani au, nsfw content, toxic!sophia, more probably im sorry

wc: 6,8 k

part 1 | too late (original ending)

minors dni

it had been a few weeks since the incident with dani. you hadn't gone back to the apartment since then, despite all your things being there. you knew she would be there no matter what time of the day you went, that was one of the benefits of being a dealer as a job, you didn't really have a job. 

you stayed with sophia for the time being, who was the one who initially brought the possibility of dani cheating on you. you felt bad the longer you stayed at her place, but she kept telling you that it was fine, that that's what best friends do for each other. 

it was obvious you weren't feeling okay after it all went down. you would mainly stare at nothing or your phone lockscreen that you had yet to change. you didn't really leave unless sophia dragged you out to go somewhere. you couldn't stop thinking about it for weeks.

“we should go get your stuff today,”

you glance over at sophia who's cooking from your seat on the stool at the kitchen island, eyebrows raising in surprise. “what?” 

“well, you still haven't stopped by the apartment,” she says, hearing the shock in your voice and continuing. “i know you don't want to but you have to if you really want to officiate it as a breakup. you need your things.” she says slowly, choosing her words carefully to not upset you. 

you look back down at the kitchen island, mumbling in response. “i guess.” 

sophia lets out a short sigh, turning off the stove and walking over to you. she reaches for your hands, grabbing ahold of them causing you to look up at her. “i know it's hard, yn. but you can't just not have your stuff. i know what you're thinking, that she's more likely going to be there than not, but i’ll go with you, okay?” she says softly, her thumb gently rubbing circles on your hands. “and then, i want you to do something.” 

you can hear her tone change at her last sentence, and you look at her confused. “what do you mean?” 

“i’ll tell you after we get your things.”

within the hour, you were standing outside the apartment with sophia next to you. it was roughly ten in the morning, and you held the key in your shaking hand, hesitating to unlock the door. 

“soph i don't think this is a good idea,” you say, lowering your hand. “i don't want another argument right now.”

“it’ll be fine, you’ll be fine,” sophia responds, sending a warm smile your way and squeezing your other hand reassuringly. 

meekly nodding your head, you slowly unlock the door and walk inside. instantly, you're hit with the smell of smoke, making your eyes squint slightly trying to adjust to the hazy fog-like atmosphere in the apartment. great. 

“is it always like this?” sophia mumbles quietly.

all you do is shake your head in response, walking into the living room and seeing the mess scattered on the coffee table. your first instinct is to clean it up and scold dani for making a mess on the expensive table, but the second you reach your hand out, sophia grabs it and pulls you back.

“we're here to get your things, that's it,” she tells you again. 

“right,” you say quietly. 

you make your way to the bedroom door, quietly opening the door and immediately freezing in your spot. you knew she would be here, that was obvious. but the sight of her is what stopped you. 

she was sleeping, probably for the first time since it happened judging by the dark bags under her eyes that clearly weren't there before. looking at sophia, you take the duffel bag from her. “you can wait outside, i’ll be fine,” you say to her. she gives you a look, but nods her head and walks out of the apartment, leaving you in the room. you take a few steps into the room, and dani starts stirring around, rolling over and groggily opening her eyes. “yn?” she mumbles softly, half awake barely able to make out your face. 

“go back to sleep, dani,” you say quietly, pulling the blanket over her. your eyes linger on her for a moment, watching her eyes close again as she mumbles something. 

you go to the closet and open it, starting to grab your clothes and putting them in the bag. when you finish with your clothes, you head into the bathroom, stopping in front of the mirror. nothing had been moved since you left. everything was beside each other like it had always been, even the toothbrushes that were sitting in their stands. you don't even hear footsteps approaching as you stare mindlessly, feeling regret bubbling up inside you as your brain goes through everything that happened.

suddenly, a pair of arms wrap around your waist from behind, and you jump, turning around to see a tired daniela.

“you're really here?” she mumbles quietly. 

“dani-” you start, but you're cut off by her gently pushing you against the sink and putting her face in the crook of your neck. 

“‘m sorry,” she mutters into your skin. “‘m so sorry, please don't leave. please, yn,” 

“dani,” you try to say as sternly as you can. “we aren't discussing this.” 

dani pulls her head from your neck, looking down at you as her hands move up to cup your face. “please,” she whispers. “please,” she reiterates, leaning closer to you, her lips inches away from yours. “just give me a chance.” 

your eyes meet her red bloodshot ones staring back at you, and you feel your throat close up. you can tell how upset she is and her genuinely being sorry, and it has you wanting to forgive her. but, she hasn't nearly felt like you did the past few months, which has been implemented into your mind by sophia who had seen you almost every day throughout it. “you know i can't do that,” your voice is quiet as you speak. 

“i love you,” her voice cracks as her hands cradle your face. “wh-what do you want me to do? i’ll do anything you want, please.” 

“there's nothing you can do right now,” you answer, though you’re not sure you believe yourself. “please just-”

you're cut off by daniela pressing her lips against yours. its the softest she's ever kissed you, as if she was worried you would break under her touch. you can practically feel the regret seeping from her as she kisses you, pouring all her heart and emotion into it. your hands grasp her shoulders and pry her away from you, looking at her. “dani, you have to let me leave. sophia is waiting outside and she's pissed off enough as is, i don't want her to start an argument with you,” you tell her. 

“sophia?” dani’s face contorts into confusion. “you-you're not- are you?” she can't even get the words out, the thought making her want to throw up. it was obvious for a while now that the filipino girl had feelings for you, though you were either too blind to notice or just ignored it. but, what happened in the past couple of weeks? 

“it doesn't matter, daniela,” you shake your head, gently pushing her away from you. “it should be nothing new for you, right?” you turn around and start grabbing your things, putting them in the bag.

the comment you make has dani looking down at the ground, knowing better than to try and counter it like she normally would. “i’m sorry,” she says. 

“you can apologize as many times as you want, but it's not going to do anything,” you zip up the bag and turn back around to face her. “you can-” you stop yourself from continuing, shaking your head and walking past her out the bathroom.

“yn, please,” she follows every step you take towards the front door. “please just give me five minutes to talk to you, please.” 

“i’m sorry, dani,” you say once reaching the door, pulling it open and walking out. you close the door behind you, half expecting her to follow you outside as well, but even after standing there for a minute, the door doesn't open.

you walk back to the car where sophia is waiting, and she stands up straight when she sees your expression. 

“what happened?” she instantly questions. 

“nothing,” you shake your head, putting the bag in the backseat and looking at sophia. “i just want to go back. i don't think i’ll last another minute here.” 

“okay,” sophia nods, opening the passenger door and letting you get in before closing it. 

…

“you want me to do what?” you stare at sophia with wide eyes. “i’m-i’m not doing that!” you shake your head quickly.

“yn, listen to me,” sophia says in a stern voice. “you know this is for the best.”

“no!” you continue to shake your head, standing up off the couch. “i am not calling the police on her! she's dealt with enough shit these past weeks.”

“and you’ve dealt with far more in the last months,” sophia says, standing when you do. 

“i’m still not doing it!” you exclaim. “why-why would you even bring that up?” 

“because we both know she should've been gone a while ago,” sophia answers.

“no, you think she should be gone!” you retort. “i know you’ve never liked her, but that does not mean you are going to convince me to call the cops! i-”

“still love her, i know,” sophia’s tone shifts slightly, but enough for you to notice. “you need to get over it.”

“get over it?!” you look at her like she's crazy. “this is two years of my life that have been wasted, sophia! i can't just ‘get over it’ like it's nothing! for two years i have loved her and now it's all gone! do you understand? i can't just get over it within a few weeks,” you fail to ignore the way she's taking steps towards you, too busy ranting angrily until she stops in front of you and tilts your head up to look at her with one hand. 

“i’m sorry,” she says softly. “you know i care about you, i just don't want you to get more hurt than you already are,” she pushes some of your hair out of your face. 

you can see the way her eyes flicker down and back up to your eyes, and you freeze in realization. “soph-”

“give me one week and i can prove you can get over her,” she cuts you off with this, her voice quiet.

she's serious, you can tell, which only makes you more nervous as you try to think of a response. part of you thinks you shouldn't do it, but a bigger part of you doesn't care. 

“okay.”

…

you can't believe you're doing this. another week has passed, and somehow sophia has managed to convince you to get the police involved. you rub your temples as you sit in your car in front of the apartment, mentally praying this doesn't blow up in your face. it’s supposed to be easy, barely an inconvenience according to sophia. just go inside, see if dani is there, make a quick text and it's done. taking a deep breath, you get out of the car and walk up to the front door. 

you knock on the door a few times, despite still having the key and could just walk up inside the place. you stand there for a minute or two, and you’re about to turn around and give up when the door unlocks and opens, there standing daniela. 

“yn,” dani lets out in a single breath. to say she didn't expect you would be an understatement, for she thought you would be gone after the last time. 

“can i come in?” you ask hesitantly.

“yeah, yeah,” she nods quickly, opening the door wider for you to walk in.

as soon as you walk in, you’re hit with an unfamiliar smell. lavender? odd. you raise an eyebrow as you step into the living room, seeing the place cleaned up since the last time you were there. the coffee table was clean of the former ash marks on it, the ceiling fan no longer held fuzz due to the smoke, the kitchen looked the best it had in over a year. you couldn't hide your surprise as you looked around. 

“you really cleaned up,” you say.

“i tried,” dani mumbles. “i-i knew that you wouldn't like the mess i left…if you came back,” her voice is so quiet you can hardly hear what she's saying, but you do. 

she was hoping for you to come back. she wouldn't have cleaned the place otherwise. she was right too, you would be upset with the mess she made a week ago. you look at the walls and see the pictures are still up, and you feel a tug on your heart as you look over them. god, you were starting to feel bad now. ‘just push through it’, you could practically hear sophia saying again for probably the hundredth time before you even left to come here. but, it was harder than it sounds. 

“dani-”

“wait,” she cuts you off suddenly. “i have something to give you,” she says before walking off into the bedroom. 

you take your phone out of your pocket and send the message, quickly putting it back away when dani walks back into the living room with a bag in her hands. you look at her with confusion as she hands it over to you. taking the bag, you open it and look inside, reaching in and pulling out a book. your confusion grows bigger until you open the first page, and you realize what it is. it's a scrapbook, poorly made which means she did it herself, of every picture you two took over the two years. “dani…” you say quietly. 

“you don't have to say anything,” dani says, looking down at the ground. “i just wanted to make sure you got it before…y’know…you leave officially.” she mumbles the last bit. 

god, why did she have to make this so difficult? your phone dings in your pocket, and you're certain it's sophia telling you to hurry up. you look up from the book and close it, setting it down on the table and letting out a sigh. “dani i…” you struggle to get words out, knowing what's about to happen and that she'll likely hate you after this. “i want you to know that i loved you so much. i did. and if you didn't…then that's okay. i’m really sorry if i ever did anything wrong. i just wish you would've told me, then maybe we could've worked this out. but, there's no fixing this now.” you look around the apartment. “i’ll pay off the place until you get back, but i won't be coming back again.” 

there's thousands of thoughts running through daniela’s mind as she half-listens to you talking as her gaze is fixated on the ground. she doesn't know what to say. she knows nothing she says will help fix this, that it's already been too long for her to try again and again. your last sentence has her looking up from the ground to finally look at you, her eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. “what do you mean?” she asks. 

you merely shake your head, pulling your phone out of your pocket when it dings again. “i gotta go,” you say, putting your phone back away. “i’m really sorry, dani. this could've turned out different, it really could've.” you turn and start making your way to the door, but daniela grabs your hand before you can make the last step.

“wait, you-you're not telling me something, i can tell,” she says quickly. “what's going on? did sophia put you up to something?” 

“it's nothing,” you reply, shaking your head. “don't worry about it.”

daniela’s eyes narrow, looking at you closely. “you're lying to me. why?”

“like you haven't for months?” your mouth says the words faster than you can think as you pry your hand out of her grip. “all you’ve done is lie directly to my face. now it's suddenly a problem when i do it?”

“you never lie to me,” dani responds, her voice and eyes softening. 

“you didn't either,” you snap. “and yet here we are, because you fucked around with some girl and lied for months. for what, anyways? what did she even do, dani? did she treat you better? was she just a better fuck? did she do even half the shit i did for you?” you can't stop yourself from finally speaking your thoughts, your anger bubbling inside you like it was when you caught her. 

the angry tone in your voice has dani backing down, knowing nothing would fix your anger towards her. “i-” she can't get anything else out. you were always better at arguing than her, even if it wasn't serious. you could come up with ten different responses to one thing she said, and she could never guess what would come out of your mouth in the heat of the moment. just like now, she didn't expect you to say those things. but, she knew that you were thinking it. no matter what she tries to say, it won't work. you're too far gone. it's too late. “i’m sorry,” she whispers. 

“i’m sure you are,” you say sarcastically with a scoff. “good luck, daniela. you're gonna need it.” you open the front door and walk out, leaving it open as you pass the police officers on your way down the stairs. 

you keep your head down as you walk to the car, get in the passenger seat, and close the door.

sophia sits in the driver's seat, immediately looking over when you get inside. “are you okay?” she asks, seeing the expression on your face. 

“yeah,” you nod. “let's just go. i don't want to see them bring her down.” you lean your head against the window. 

sophia nods silently, turning on the car and driving off away from the apartment. it’s at least a thirty-minute drive to her house, not including traffic. she already knows you're exhausted just by doing the act you thought you would never have to do, but she doesn't speak anything of it. she can tell by the way your head rests against the window, how your breathing is starting to finally even out. she glances over at you every so often, seeing your eyes droop closed every minute or two after the first ten minutes of driving. 

“you can sleep,” she says to you in a soft voice, turning down the radio’s volume. “i’ll wake you up when we're back.”

“you sure?” you mumble tiredly. 

“yeah,” sophia answers, putting her hand on your thigh and gently rubbing your leg. “you need the sleep. i know you haven't been recently.” 

“mm,” you hum quietly, closing your eyes. “thank you, sophia. for everything.” 

“don't thank me, i’m just looking out for you,” she says quietly. when she looks over at you again, you're asleep. a small smile is on sophia’s face as you finally sleep comfortably for the first time in a month that felt like a year for everyone involved. she pats your leg softly before looking back at the road. 

…

“yn? we’re back.”

you slowly open your eyes at hearing the voice talking to you, seeing sophia standing in front of you with the car door open. “hm?” you glance around, realizing you were back at her place. “oh.” 

“c’mon.” sophia grabs your hand and gently pulls you out of the car. 

you lean against her as she wraps an arm around your waist to keep you upright, walking with her to the front door. you can barely process what's happening in your half-awake state of mind, merely following sophia everywhere she goes. 

you lay down on the bed that you assume was the one in the guest room you’d been staying in until your head hits the pillow and you're met with the familiar scent that sophia always wore. you can hear shuffling around the room, and when you open your eyes, blinking a few times to adjust to the dark lighting with only one lamp on, you realize you're in her room. you sit up against the pillows, looking around right as sophia walks out of the bathroom.

“hey,” she says, turning off the bathroom light. “i thought you would be back asleep.” 

“why did you lay me here?” you ask in a mumble. 

“mm,” she shrugs her shoulders, walking to the other side of the bed and sitting down beside you. “i guess i figured you deserved a not-so-shitty bed for tonight,” she says casually.

“oh,” you let out, a little surprised by how nonchalantly she said the words. but, that was always one thing about her. she would speak so casually, even when it shouldn’t be. but, it just meant she was comfortable with you, right?  you can barely see her face with the minimal light in the room, but you can't help but think that she looks insanely pretty right now. you know you shouldn't be thinking about it, but you can't help yourself. you’ve always thought she was pretty, and she was, but staring at her face in the dark room in the same bed has you really looking over her features. you don't even realize you're staring until she suddenly leans closer to you, your eyes widening at the closeness. 

“you're staring,” sophia says like it's nothing. 

“s-sorry,” you stammer out, feeling your cheeks heating up due to being caught. 

“don't apologize.” she shakes her head, slowly reaching her hand out and pushing a piece of your hair out of your face, moving it to cup your cheek. she can see your eyes flickering around before landing on her lips, then back to her steady eyes that haven't looked away from you for a single moment. “can i kiss you?” she asks quietly. 

all you can do is nod, not trusting your voice at the moment. your eyes close as she slowly leans in and kisses you. her plush lips are soft against hers, and you can taste the strawberry lip gloss she put on earlier in the day. her lips move slowly against yours, not trying to rush the moment as her thumb draws small circles on your cheek. it's easily the softest anyone has kissed you, and it has you feeling desperate for more. 

when sophia pulls away, she can see the dazed look in your eyes as you stare back at her. there's a silence that fills the room, with both of you hesitating to make another movement. sophia knows better than to initiate something first, so she waits until you do or say something, if you do anything at all that is. she wouldn't mind just getting a kiss from you, it's more than anything she would've wanted, that's enough for her. she doesn't want to pressure you into doing things, especially in your current state. to her surprise, you lean in and pull her into a searing kiss with more force than the last time. 

sophia’s arms snake around your waist to pull you closer, which you take as the opportunity to move and straddle her hips. your arms hook around her neck, pressing your body against hers as her tongue swipes along your bottom lip, silently asking for permission. parting your lips, sophia’s tongue mends with yours as her hands lightly graze your skin under the shirt you were wearing, her fingers leaving little touches. your body feels hot against hers, and you force yourself to pull out of the kiss to pull your shirt off over your head, your hands returning to her shoulders, fiddling with the material of her shirt. 

sophia’s eyes subtly go wide as she gazes up at you, biting on her lip as her hands slowly move up and down your waist. “god, you're beautiful,” she breathes out softly. her thoughts are running wild as you look down at her, and she manages to ground herself enough to ask you a question. “are you sure about this?” her voice is quiet as she speaks. “i know you just-”

“i’m sure,” you interrupt her, your hands playing with her hair. “please just– make me forget, please,” you practically beg. it comes out more desperate than you wanted, but you didn't care. “please, sophia.”

without saying a word, her arms around you, sophia flips you around so you're below her as she hovers above you, staring down at you. there’s a change in her eyes that you instantly notice, even through the darkness in the room, and it causes a shiver to go down your spine at how she’s looking at you. 

“why are you looking at me like that?” you question in a hushed voice.

“like what?” sophia tilts her head to the side, feigning innocence, but the look in her eyes doesn’t change.

you would be lying if you said you didn’t know sophia had been waiting for this moment. you obviously knew she had feelings for you for a while now, and you didn’t exactly mind it because she didn’t do anything drastic to change anything. well, now look. she had managed to convince you to throw the girl you loved for over two years into jail, and within the hour you were under the filipina who was staring at you like you were her prey. but, she was always like that. telling you that she was right, that she was just looking out for you, that she cared about you more than anyone else did, more than dani did. you didn’t know whether to believe it at first. sophia had been your best friend since you were teenagers, and she was there for you through everything. which meant she wouldn’t do anything that could possibly hurt you, right? 

“nothing.” you shake your head, swallowing the lump in your throat. 

a smile curls on sophia’s lips at your response, her voice low as she responds. “that’s what i thought.” 

you barely have any time to process the words spoken before she captures your lips in a deep kiss, the simple action making you forget the way she was looking at you or how she said those words. you try to keep up, but her lips are moving fast against yours, no longer slow and calculate, but instead replaced with a fiery need you can practically taste coming from sophia. 

one of sophia’s hands move down your body to the waistband of the pants you were wearing before she parts from the kiss, a string of saliva connecting between the two of you. “tell me you want me,” she says. 

trying to recuperate your breathing, you squirm around at her light touches, and staring up at her you feel your words get caught in your throat. “i-” you hesitate, immediately seeing the subtle change in her expression which has you quickly finishing. “i want you.” 

nodding her head, sophia wraps her fingers around your pants before tugging them down your legs along with your panties that now had a wet patch on them. spreading your legs apart, a quiet groan comes from the girl at the sight of you in front of her. bringing a hand down between your thighs, she drags her fingers along your folds, collecting your slick on them before bringing them to your lips. “suck.” 

a quiet whimper comes from you at the tone in her voice, but you open your mouth and let her push her fingers into your mouth, starting to suck on them. you try to squeeze your thighs together, but sophia is quick to use her other hand to keep your legs open, causing you to whine around her fingers. when she pulls them out of your mouth she grabs your cheeks firmly, her nails digging into your skin lightly resulting in another whimper escaping your lips. 

“you’re mine now, you understand?” she tells you, her voice serious. “i don’t want you even thinking of her, she wasn’t good for you. this was going to happen one way or another.” 

your eyes widen a bit, feeling anxiety surge through your body as she eyes you waiting for your response. it wasn’t supposed to go like this. she wasn’t supposed to be like this. this was nothing like the sophia you had known for so many years. this was different. and you didn’t know what to do about it. in the end, you have to force the words out in nervousness of how she would react if you answered differently. 

“okay,” you whisper. 

“good,” sophia says, patting your cheek once she lets go. “now, you just sit there and let me have my fun with you, alright?” she smiles sweetly at you, but there’s a difference in it you notice. 

all you can do is nod, not knowing what words would leave your mouth if you opened it. and all you can think about as you feel her hand on your thigh move inward is how this isn’t how you wanted it to go. this wasn’t how she was supposed to be. she was supposed to be kind, caring, and loving during this, but you can’t find any of it as you look into her dark eyes. this wasn’t the same sophia. you knew that. now that she finally had you, it was like a switch flipped inside of her. 

you’re interrupted from your thoughts when you feel sophia’s fingers start to circle your clit, a loud gasp coming from you at the sudden feeling as your head lands on the pillow beneath you. “fuck…” 

“that’s my girl. let all those pretty noises out.” sophia’s breath is hot against your lips as she whispers. “let me hear you.” 

her fingers move down away from your clit to your entrance, prodding her index finger before slowly pushing in and smiling at the moan you let out. she merely gives you a few seconds before she starts thrusting in and out of you at a fast pace, leaving you moaning loudly and your eyes squeezing shut at the feeling. 

“oh my god!” you cry out, your hand grasping her wrist as she slips a second finger inside of you. “so-sophia,” you whine. you’re grateful you can’t see the look on her face, but you can feel her eyes on you as you writhe around under her at what you were feeling, a smirk on her face as she watches you come undone from her. 

“feels good, huh?” sophia taunts, curling her fingers inside you. “tell me, yn.” 

“mhm!” you hum, nodding your head quickly. 

“words,” she tells you. 

“ye-yes!” you manage to get out. “feels so good– fuck!” 

“she couldn’t make you feel like this, right baby?” 

“no,” you whimper. 

lie. this was nothing like what daniela would’ve done. that’s all that was running through your mind around the pleasure you were regrettably feeling. daniela was attentive. while she wasn’t most of the time, she always was when it came to you and what you were feeling. she would easily be able to tell you weren’t comfortable whereas it appeared sophia didn’t care or even bother to try and tell. this didn’t feel the same. it was supposed to be better, but you were feeling worse. this wasn’t nice. this wasn’t caring. this wasn’t love. this wasn’t love. daniela loved you. sophia just wanted you. it wasn’t love. 

you didn’t even notice the tears brimming in your eyes the more you thought about it, and sophia didn’t seem to notice or care, her fingers still moving mercilessly inside you as you moan and whimper at the feelings. you felt like your body was betraying you. you weren’t supposed to be enjoying this, it wasn’t enjoyable. it was suffocating. the feeling of sophia’s eyes on you, the feeling of your heart aching, the feeling building in the bottom of your stomach. despite not wanting more, your hips rolled against her hand with desperation, as if they had a mind of their own. 

“sophia,” you whimper out. “please,” your voice is already hoarse from moaning. 

“shh,” sophia hushes you. “you’re so tight around me, you gonna cum? huh?” her free hand grabs your cheeks again making your eyes open. 

no. 

“yes,” you croak. 

stop. stop. stop. the words repeated in your head but never left your mouth out of fear how she would react. she would freak out, you knew it. she was waiting for so long, so how dare you be one to tell her to stop? it’s not like she would if you said it anyway. you start feeling the tears rolling down your cheeks, your moans being mixed with cries as sophia coos at you. 

“aw, my poor baby. is it too much?” her voice is far from caring, more taunting as if she liked seeing the tears trail down your face. “you want me to stop? you’re so close, baby. you really don’t want me to make you feel good?” she tilts her head to the side. 

“please…” is all you can get out. 

“please what?” she asks, a smile slowly creeping on her face. 

“p-please, sophia,” you practically sob. “I-i-”

“shh,” sophia lets go of your face, pushing some of your hair out of your face. “don’t worry, i’ll make sure you won’t remember how she made you feel.” 

“w-wait!” your other hand grabs her arm, nails digging into her skin as her fingers hit your g-spot repeatedly. you throw your head back, feeling your orgasm approaching with more tears streaming down your face. the second sophia curls her fingers again, you let out a loud whine and cum over her fingers. 

“good girl.” sophia smiles wickedly at you. “that’s my girl.” she slowly pulls her fingers out from you, licking them clean and looking at you under her. 

tears are still seeping from your eyes and you cover your face with your hands, feeling an overwhelming amount of emotions hitting you at once. you fucked up. this wasn’t how it was supposed to be. it wasn’t supposed to go this way. it was supposed to be different. 

you can hear a scoff come from sophia and feel the bed get lighter, but you don’t care enough to move your hands away from your face. you hear the bathroom door open and close, and then a click, meaning it had been locked. 

when you pull your hands away from your face and your sobs have quietened a little bit, you can hear the shower running. sitting up slowly, you glance around and feel the ache in your body again. quietly getting up, you grab your clothes quickly put them back on, and grab your phone before leaving the room. 

walking down the stairs, you make it to the front door and slip your shoes on, not caring enough to tie them before stepping outside. you walk to the curb and sit down, looking at your phone and going to a certain contact of someone you hoped would help you out. 

it rings for a few seconds, and then you hear it being picked up, and a voice comes through.

“yn?” 

“manon,” you sob, feeling the tears well in your eyes again. “i need your help. i-i fucked up.” 

“where are you?”

“sophia’s,” you answer. “please hurry, i-i need t-to get out of here p-please.” your sobs make it hard for you to speak, but it’s clear enough for manon to understand and know what’s going on.

“i’ll be there in ten minutes.” 

“thank you.”

just like she said, in ten minutes you saw manon’s car pull up and you quickly get up and hurry over to it as she unlocks the door, and you climb inside, shutting the door behind you. 

manon sits in the driver seat, clearly looking as if she had just woken up or was about to go to sleep, but she immediately looks awake when she sees the sight of you. “yn, what the hell happened?”

when you look over at her, the sight of your red puffy eyes tells her enough, but not the whole story. “i-i’ll explain. just drive, please.” 

“okay.” she nods, not wasting another second and driving off. 

…

“are you sure you don’t want me to come in with you?” manon asks you, parked in front of your and dani’s apartment. “i don’t think you should be alone right now.” 

you meekly shake your head, unbuckling your seatbelt. “no, it’s alright. i have to do some things anyways.” 

“at midnight?” manon questions. “how are you going to get her out?”

“i’ll figure it out,” you answer quietly. “we have some cash in case of this.” 

“bail money?” manon inquires. 

“you could say that,” you nod. “mainly just for emergencies.”

“won’t she be mad at you?” manon says, and you turn and give her a look making her raise her hands in surrender. “i’m just saying.” 

“i know,” you sigh, looking down. “but, i have to try. i know she won’t make it more than a week in there.” 

“well, you’re right about that.” manon nods. 

a moment of silence fills the car, and your hand pushes the door open right as manon’s grabs your shoulder. “hey.” you look over at her. 

“i’ll always be here for you, okay? you’ve been through a lot. if you ever need me like tonight, just call. i’ll always answer, okay?” she looks at you with a genuine expression in her eyes. 

“okay.” you nod. “thank you, manon.” 

manon shakes her head. “there’s no need. text me if anything happens, okay? i’ll deal with sophia.”

your eyebrows furrowed together at her last words. “what are you going to do?”

“don’t worry, nothing too bad. i’ll leave that for dani.” she smiles at you. “get some sleep, alright? i’ll stop by in the morning.” 

“okay,” you say with a nod. climbing out of the car, manon gives a short wave as do you before walking up to the apartment. 

unlocking the door and stepping inside, you’re met with an empty apartment. there were some things scattered around, probably from the police when they came in, making you sigh shortly. you start cleaning what’s been moved or tossed aside, grumbling under your breath about the lack of respect despite you being more than helpful. 

once everything was back in its normal place, you sit on the bed in the bedroom. it’s quiet. it’s never this quiet. it’s almost uncomfortable. well, not almost. it was uncomfortable. to not hear the tv playing, to not hear a lighter flicking, to not hear her voice. pulling on the sleeve of your shirt, you can feel the tears welling in your eyes again while you look around at the empty space. 

“god…” you mumble, a few tears falling. 

all you could think about as you sat there in silence was that it wasn’t supposed to happen like this. it wasn’t supposed to go this way. it was supposed to be a happy ending, that’s what sophia promised you. she promised everything would be okay once you did it. but, you did. and nothing was okay. it was far from okay. you were far from okay. 

with your heart aching, and tears staining your cheeks, you fell asleep curled up in a ball at the edge of the bed feeling worse than you had going through all of this. you wanted her back. you wanted to change things. you wanted to yell at sophia for making you do it. you wanted to yell at yourself for being naive enough to believe the girl you thought was your best friend. you hated yourself for thinking it would work out. you should’ve known better. you should’ve listened to dani, just talk it out. then maybe you wouldn’t be in this position now. 

but, maybe things had to get worse before they could get better. 

[they-didnt-last]

anyone interested in talking about the iconic 2000's middle-grade-bordering-on-ya book series gallagher girls??

[dickggansey]

im craving varenyky soooo bad but my cooking skills are not good enough for me to make them 😔

[imogens-temult]

THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING (2003) dir. Peter Jackson

[carthonasi]

what do you know about my mother? she was like you. she was kind. and loving.

[bucksdaffy]

do you ever just stop and think about tommy telling buck he's renowned for his fake mouth static, only for buck to claim that their first kiss was actually better than that, lowkey implying that kissing buck should be what tommy is truly renowned for? because i do daily and i'm honestly not okay 😭