#and i have reached a point in my life where i’ve stopped telling myself it’s impossible to be diagnosed with bpd and be autistic at the same

[creaturebehavior]

here’s how i arrived back to the conclusion that i probably am autistic: always thinking to myself damn for someone who’s not autistic i sure am autistic as hell

[bueckers]

UNFINISHED BUSINESS ━━━ paige bueckers ( 2 )

synopsis: putting an end to everything, drea thinks she’s totally and completely done with paige bueckers. that is until the blonde is finally honest with her.

pairing: paige bueckers x fem oc

warnings: angst and smut. they’re so toxic but also like made for each other.. alcohol use, scissoring, fingering, lots of paige’s hands.

notes: another long one so there wasn’t any major cliffhangers, hopefully this makes up for the wait.. :) also a paige & flau’jae feature because i love them sm.

The morning sunlight filters through the hotel curtains, and she’s sitting at the edge of the bed. I can feel the space next to me where she was lying, still warm but empty now. She’s moving around, getting dressed, and I’m fighting the urge to reach out and pull her back into bed. But I know I shouldn’t.

“You don’t have to go yet,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper. It’s more of a plea than an offer, and I hate how desperate I sound. I can see her hesitate, her back to me as she fiddles with her shirt. For a second, I think she might stay, but then she turns to face me, and I can see the determination in her eyes. Why was it so difficult for me to just say it?

“Except I do. We never actually talked… if you missed that part,” she says, and I try to ignore the slight raise in her voice.

In attempt to busy myself, I grab my shirt from off the ground and pull it over my head. “The whole point of last night was to avoid that, Drea. We ain’ gotta talk about it.” I respond, and I’m only half joking, but I still wince at how much of a dick I sound.

She’s serious, and instead of agreeing or starting an argument, she ignores it. “Look,” she starts, and I can see her struggling to find the right words, her eyes glued to the bedsheets. Not me. I want to tell her she doesn’t have to say anything, that I get it, she deserved an explanation. But I don’t want to make it easy for her. Not when I know this is probably the last time we’re going to be like this.

“Last night.. it shouldn’t have happened.”

I furrow my eyebrows. "You don’t gotta say that. It’s not like we didn’t both want it,” I huff out.

She looks at me a certain way, and I can tell she hasn’t put much thought into what she’s saying. But she’s saying it anyway. "That’s not what I mean," she says quickly, like she’s trying to fix it. "I’m not saying I didn’t want it. I just… I shouldn’t have let things get so deep between us. How things ended.. it’s my fault.”

Her fault? She shouldn’t have let things get so deep? Theres no way she means these things, right? She stands there, biting her lip, and I know she’s waiting for me to say something. My throat feels tight, and my mind is a mess. I’m caught between wanting to shout at her, to tell her how wrong she is, and just shutting down completely.

This is Drea. The one person who’s always known how to get under my skin, in ways both good and bad. And now, while she’s standing right in front of me, telling me she regrets how deep we got, that basically, she thinks I cut her off because she caught feelings, I can’t help but feel like a fool. I spent so much time convincing myself that she didn’t feel the way I did, that I’d imagined the whole thing. Now it turns out she was in it too. And I don’t know what to do with that.

I wanna tell her to stop, to not say anything more. But I can’t let myself be that vulnerable, not when I’ve spent so long trying to protect whatever pieces of myself I have left. This is, like, the biggest joke of my life, and I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

When I finally do speak, my voice comes out quieter than I expect, almost detached. “So, what now? We just pretend none of this ever mattered?”

Drea’s eyes meet mine, and for a moment, I see something flicker in them—regret, maybe, or doubt. It seems like this is the most straightforward conversation we’ve had about the way we actually feel, and everything’s coming to light and an end at the same time. Just as quickly, she pushes it away, her expression hardening, and it makes every dot in my mind connect. “I’m not saying it didn’t matter. It did. That’s why we need to stop.” She’s trying so hard to be the rational one, to be the one who ends this cleanly. But nothing about this is clean.

I nod slowly, swallowing the lump in my throat. “Fine. If that’s what you want.” God, I even sound bitter.

She looks at me like she’s searching for something—maybe a reason to stay, or maybe just confirmation that this is the right choice. But then she sighs, her shoulders sagging with the weight of it all, and I know nothing, at least in this moment, would change her mind about me.

“Please take care of yourself.” She kept me grounded when I couldn’t find my footing, and those words just feel so cruel. It sounded like we’d never be speaking again, and I hated that thought.

I nod, unable to trust my voice, and then she’s gone. And just like that, it’s over. Or at least, it’s supposed to be.

A few days pass in a blur, and my time in Phoenix is slowly coming to an end. It’s safe to say the events of the city had only temporarily kept my mind off of everything, and now I’m sitting in a bar with Flau’jae, trying my best not to let the rain cloud over my head poke out. She’s talking, animated as ever, but I’m only half-listening, my mind drifting back to Drea more often than I’d like to admit.

“You’re not even listening to me, are you?” Her voice cuts through my thoughts, pulling me back to the present.

I blink, forcing out a smile. “Sorry,” I apologize, stretching my arms out in a way to reset. “I’m listening now. Promise.”

Flau’jae narrows her eyes at me, clearly not buying it. “Nah, you’re not,” she says, crossing her arms and leaning back in her chair. “What’s got you so deep in thought? You’ve been acting like you’re here, but not really here, y’know?”

I shrug, trying to play it off. “Just tired, I guess. Been a long week.”

She studies me for a moment, her gaze sharp. “Uh-huh. And this long week wouldn’t have anything to do with a certain someone, would it?”

I bite my lip, trying to stay cool. Flau’jae doesn’t know about Drea and me—no one does, really. We made sure of that. But if anyone’s gonna pick up on something, it’s her. I should’ve known better than to think I could just sit here and pretend everything’s fine.

“Maybe,” I say vaguely, hoping that’s enough to satisfy her curiosity. “I just got a lot on my mind, I’m fine,” I reassure, furrowing my eyebrows as if it was nothing to worry about.

She raises an eyebrow, leaning in like she’s about to uncover some big secret. “Stuff, huh? Girl stuff?”

I roll my eyes, trying to play it off. “You’re too nosy for your own good, you know that?”

She grins, laughing a little. “Paige! Come on, spill. Who is she?”

I hesitate, and for a second, I consider telling her everything. But that’s a slippery slope, and I’m not ready to go there. So instead, I won’t reveal too much. “It’s complicated,” I sigh.

Flau’jae crosses her arms, fully intrigued. “Complicated how?” She could be a detective.

I sigh, raking a hand through my hair. “Just... complicated. Things didn’t end the way they were supposed to. And now I’m stuck trying to figure out what to do next.”

She nods slowly, taking that in. “So, you and this girl… y’all were close?”

“Yeah,” I huff out, nodding as I press my lips together. “Real close.”

Flau’jae gives me a knowing look. “Thats who you was texting last night at the game?”

“Maybe,” I drag out, a shit-eating grin gracing my face. Then I slip up. “I was jus’ too scared to say anything to her face.”

Her eyes widen, and she brings a hand up to cusp her lips. It takes me a bit to realize, and as soon as I do, she cuts me off. Damn it. “Thats why you was hugging her a little too long after the final buzzer.”

“Hey! I ain’ even say a name,” I say quickly and louder than intended, trying to backtrack.

She leans forward, eyes wide with amusement. “You didn’t have to! You gave me everything I needed to know. Paige, what the hell? You and Drea, for real? I didn’t know you had game like that.”

I jerk my head back, scrunching my face up at her. There was no doubt that Drea was one of the prettiest faces in the game, and the fact that she can ball too just really adds to it. “I can show you what these rizz hands can do,” I joked momentarily. “It wasn’t even supposed to be a thing, though. We kept it on the low for a reason.”

Flau’jae shakes her head, holding her lips a little tighter now. “You know what Twitter would do with this? You been out here sneaky-linking and didn’t even give me a heads-up?”

Sneaky-linking? Was that really what it was? “Can we stop talking about this?” I say, half-laughing despite myself.

“And y’all met in high school, too. That’s some next-level soulmatism or something.”

I chuckle, licking my lips as I lift up my drink. The clinking of the ice fills the silence, and I’m able to put a close to the conversation. “It’s over now, anyway. Doesn’t matter.” It’s a lie. We’d clearly went over that it did matter.

Flau’jae studies me for a moment, her eyes narrowing as if she can see right through me. But then she lifts her hands up in surrender, a smirk playing on her lips. “Alright, if it’s really over, how about you find someone tonight? You could use it if I’m being honest,” She retorts, referring to the mood I’ve been in the entire night because of my situation.

“Chill!” I laugh, shaking my head as I lean back in my chair myself. “You make it sound so easy.”

She shrugs, and I hesitate, taking a second to let my eyes wander around the bar. A couple of eyes meet mine, lingering longer than what’s considered normal. I’m not sure if they might know who I am, or just think I’m attractive. Or maybe both.

Flau’jae seems to notice too, shooting me a wild and bright smile. “See? you still got it. Just make a good choice.”

The car hums beneath me, the city lights flashing past as I sink into the leather of the backseat, my head leaning against the window. I can still taste the alcohol on my tongue, and my mind is replaying the past few hours like a hazy, disconnected reel. All I can think about is her.

You’d think after a night out I’d at least be able to get the mass of Drea off my mind, but I think it just made everything worse. No matter how hard I try to push her out, physically and emotionally, she’s always there, right on the edge of my thoughts.

I pull my phone out of my pocket, my thumb hovering over her contact. I know I shouldn’t text her. I know it’s a bad idea. But our last conversation on repeat and the emptiness from earlier are making my judgment untrustworthy, and before I can stop myself, I’m typing out a message.

Yo, you up?

I stare at the screen, the words staring back at me. It’s a weak attempt, but I’m past caring. A part of me almost hopes she won’t respond, that she’ll leave me to deal with the consequences of my choices alone. But then I add another text, like I can’t help myself.

Idc if you’re not

It feels like a challenge. Like I’m daring her to ignore me, to stay out of it. But I know that’s not what I want.

I swallow hard and send one last message, my fingers trembling slightly as I type.

You still in Phoenix, right?

The words hang there, waiting for her response. My heart pounds in my chest, and I can’t tell if it’s from the countless amounts of dirty shirley’s or the anticipation of hearing from her. Or both. I really hope I don’t throw up in this car.

I lean back in the seat in attempt to relax, but I can literally hear my heart beating. I wonder if the driver can, really. I don’t know what I’m hoping for, but I know that if she’s still here, if she answers… I’m not sure I’ll be able to resist whatever comes next.

The minutes stretch out in silence, broken only by the occasional sound of the car’s tires hitting a pothole. I keep my eyes glued to the screen, watching the three little dots appear and disappear. I should put my phone away, maybe even go back to the hotel and sleep this off, but I can’t. I’m too far gone for that.

The Uber turns down another quiet street, and I feel the weight of my decisions pressing down on me. It’s not just about tonight. It’s about all the nights that led up to this, every bad choice that brought me to this moment. The thought of facing it alone is unbearable, and I realize that’s why I texted her. Not because I want her to come over, but because I don’t want to be alone. Or that I do, just with her.

My phone buzzes in my hand, and I almost drop it in my rush to check the screen.

Why?

A single word, blunt and to the point. She’s guarded, as usual. But the fact that she responded at all makes me happy enough.

I just… I hesitate, staring at the blinking cursor. I don’t even know what I’m trying to say, but I settle on honesty.

Just wanna see you. Is that so bad?

I hit send before I can second-guess myself. My fingers hover over the screen again, and then I add another message.

I don’t wanna stop seeing you fr

It’s more than I planned to say, more vulnerable than I planned to be, but it’s the truth. And I’m too tired of pretending otherwise.

The reply comes quickly this time, and I can almost hear her voice in the words.

Are you drunk texting me right now?

And no, you mean you don’t wanna stop fucking me

Her words hit me like a punch in the gut, and for a moment, I just stare at the screen, the bright light from my phone casting harsh shadows in the dark car. I can feel the truth in what she’s saying, but it’s only part of it. Yeah, we’ve been physical, and I’m not denying that’s been a big part of this whole thing, but it’s not just that.

No, Drea. It’s more than that. We both know it always was.

You said it three days ago.

I hesitate before hitting send, but I know I have to. I can’t keep hiding behind the bullshit. She deserves better than that even if she won’t appreciate it.

The reply doesn’t come right away, and the silence feels like it’s pressing in on me from all sides. I shift in my seat. This whole thing—this whole night—feels like I’m balancing on a razor’s edge, and I’m terrified of falling off.

When her response finally comes, it’s short.

It’s 2am.

Ok, it’s not ideal. but I can’t stop thinking about everything you said.

And everything I didn’t say.

There’s another long pause, and I can almost picture her on the other end, trying to figure out what to say. We’ve been dancing around each other for so long, caught up in this push and pull, and now it feels like we’re on the verge of something, but neither of us knows how to take the next step.

Then, her next message comes through, and it’s enough to make my chest tighten. It’s hesitant but willing.

Where are you?

Outside your hotel.

Her reply is instant this time.

Come up.

I shove my phone into my pocket and step out of the Uber, my mind on a million as I make my way to her room. Every step feels heavy as if I’m walking through mud, but there’s a part of me that knows this is where I need to be—where I’ve always needed to be.

When I reach her door, it swings open almost as soon as I knock, and there she is, standing in front of me. Her eyes are guarded, just like her text messages, but I can see something softer underneath. Something that tells me she’s just as scared of this as I am.

“Paige,” she says, her voice a little wistful as she fiddles with the door knob. She looks me up and down, almost as if I’m being examined before I’m allowed in.

I don’t know what to say, so I just step forward, closing the distance between us. “I’m not drunk,” I state, shooting down her concerns from a few moments ago. She wouldn’t proceed if there was a chance I wouldn’t remember anything in the morning.

She looks at me for another long moment, like she’s trying to decide if she believes me. Then, with a sigh, she steps aside, letting me in. The door closes behind me with a soft click, and I lean against it. Suddenly we’re alone in her room, the reality of the situation settling around us.

“I know I shouldn’t have texted. But I did, and I’m glad I’m here.” I ramble, although still stern.

She sighs, and the curls that fall perfectly over her shoulders bounce a bit. Shes in a pair of short pajama shorts and a long, grey Nike tee-shirt that could’ve been mine. Correction, it definitely is mine. “You’re making this so much harder than it has to be.”

“It doesn’t have to be hard. We can make it less complicated.” I try to reason.

She stiffens, her breath catching as she looks at me, her eyes searching mine. “I—“

“I’m serious,” I cut her off, my voice low as I step closer to her. I couldn’t tell you what I was thinking. “I don’t know when I’m gonna see you again. And I can’t… I can’t leave tomorrow without letting you know how much I care.”

I don’t say it out loud, but the words are there, hanging in the air between us. I love you. And I’m sorry. But I can’t bring myself to say it. I don’t know why. Instead, I just hope she can feel it, hoping she knows without me having to spell it out.

“You can’t keep doing this,” she says quietly, her back turned to me as she walks further into the room. “Running to me when you’re feeling lost. It’s not fair.”

“I know,” I admit, taking a step closer. “But I’ont know how to stop. I’ve tried, but… since you’ve been apart of my life it’s been hard to let you go. I don’t wanna lose you—“

“You already did,” she cuts me off, turning to face me, and it scares me how serious she sounds. There’s pain in her eyes, but there’s also something else—something that makes me hope, even if just for a second. “We both did.”

I close the gap between us, and I can tell it catches her by surprise because of the look she gives me. My hands gently cup her face. “Then why am I here? Why did you let me in again?”

She glances down at my lips, and despite being angry, she doesn’t respond with words. Physicality has always been our response for everything involving each other. It’s all we know. She leans into my touch, and it feels like a birthday gift. Her eyes flutter shut before she opens them again, and it’s enough to make me lean in, pressing my lips to hers in a kiss that’s more desperate than anything else.

She kisses me back, her hands finding their way to my shoulders as she pulls me closer, and for a moment, it feels like everything else fades away. It’s just us, tangled up in each other, trying to find something solid to hold onto.

But then she pulls back, breathless, her hands still resting on my shoulders. She’s looking down, like she’s fighting some internal battle. “Oh my God,” she whispers, shaking her head. “You are drunk.”

“I told you I’m not,” I murmur, trying to find her eyes and pull her back to me by the waist, but she resists, her fingers gripping my shoulders tighter. Her resistance is strong, her fingers digging into my shoulders as if she’s trying to push away the intensity of the moment. “Please, Drea.”

She shakes her head, eyes still averted. “I can taste the alcohol!” She brings her thumb up to brush over my lips. “I knew it, why the fuck would you lie?” She’s trying to walk away at this point, but my grip is too tough. I won’t let her go.

“No, listen,” I say, more eager and clear. “What I said, what I meant—none of that has to do with being drunk. I’m here because I need you. Because I want you. This isn’t just about tonight.”

Drea’s resolve falters, her eyes flickering back to mine with her perfectly arched eyebrows crinkling up just a bit. “You’re saying all the right things, but I can’t just ignore—”

I cut her off by pulling her closer, my grip firm but gentle on her hips. My thumbs move beneath her shirt, stroking her skin and feeling the muscle. “I know.” My lips are ghosting over her ear. “But please, just for tonight, let’s not think about it.” I press a kiss right below it. “Just be with me. Let’s just be here.”

“Paige..” she starts again, her voice softer this time, and I love it when she says my name. I lean in, silencing her with a kiss that’s both insistent and tender. She melts into it, her resistance breaking as she wraps her arms around my neck. Shes quick to sneak her tongue in, the movement making me wince, furrowing my brows at how good she tastes.

I guide her backward until her knees hit the edge of the bed, and she falls onto it with a soft thud. I follow her down, my body pressing against hers as our kiss grows more fervent. My hands explore her curves, skimming over the fabric of her shirt as it rides up, and I feel her shiver beneath me.

“Is this mine?” I breathe against her lips, the warmth of her hands on my cheeks making my face flush a vibrant red. Drea nods, her breath hitching as she catches the look in my eyes. Without another word, I grab the hem of her shirt and yank it up over her head, tossing it aside. The shirt hits the floor, and she starts giggling like a school girl, her chest now fully exposed and daunting.

The sound of her laughter makes my stomach flip, and I can’t help but grin, leaning down to capture her mouth in another kiss. This time, there’s no hesitation, no holding back. Our bodies press together, her skin warm and soft against mine, like it was made for me.

My hands begin to wander a bit too much, all the way down to her shorts. Slipping my hand in, I can already feel how wet she is. She lets out a soft gasp as I trace slow, deliberate circles against her clit firmly. “Tell me what you want, baby,” I whisper, my breath fanning over her neck.

Her body has always reacted to every touch, every word. She’s trying to stay composed, but I can tell she’s barely holding on. Her hips instinctively push against my hand, silently begging for more, but I keep my movements steady, torturously slow and sloppy. I want to hear her say it.

“You,” she breathes out, her voice wavering. She’s antsy, I can feel it—the way her muscles tense, the way her breath comes in shallow pants.

“C’mon,” I murmur, nipping at her earlobe. “You can do better than that.”

She whimpers, her hands gripping my shoulders, nails digging into my skin as she tries to find the words. “Please… I need—” She breaks off, a soft moan escaping her lips when I press harder, right where she needs it most.

But then she grabs my wrist, stopping me just before she can fall over the edge. Her eyes lock with mine, and they’re low, dark, and daring. Three words that are very Drea. “Stop,” she says, her voice firmer now, even though I can tell it’s taking all her willpower. “I wanna feel you.”

The way she says it—so raw, so desperate—it’s enough to make me slip into a trance. I pull back, my gaze lingering on her as I strip off the rest of my clothes, watching as she does the same. Every inch of her is so perfect to the point where it should be a crime, and I want to touch every part.

I lay back on the bed, and she climbs on top of me, her movements deliberate and careful as she positions herself right over the bottom half of my body. I let my hands slide down her sides, tracing the curve of her waist before coming to rest on her ass. I tilt my head slightly against the pillows, mouth slightly agape. I can’t resist giving her a gentle squeeze, eliciting a soft noise from her. I smile, and my hands linger there, holding her close as she settles into place. We’ve done this countless amounts of times, and every single time it feels different. Better.

“You’re so fuckin’ sexy, you know that?” I pull her hips down, aligning our bodies perfectly, and the feeling of her heat against mine makes my breath catch, but I’m still focused. “Could stay like this all night.”

Drea licks her lips, her eyes fluttering closed for a moment as she adjusts herself, the friction and jolting of our bodies a whole whirlpool of pleasure. “You better,” she whispers back, a teasing smile tugging at her lips as her hands grip my legs so she can find herself.

Slowly, she starts to move, her hips grinding down against mine in a smooth rhythm. Every slide of her body against me is agonizingly perfect, and I can’t help the groan that escapes as she finds a pace that makes my whole body push up against her.

My eyebrows furrow as I take sight of where we meet, her pussy flat against mine. The squelching of our juices together fills the room, and I lose it. Maybe the alcohol is accentuating the feeling for me, or she’s just this good. “Fuck…” I breathe out, my hands roaming up her back, feeling the muscles flex and move beneath her skin. “You feel so good. Always so good.”

Her response is a soft moan, her head falling forward slightly as she loses herself. I let my hands slide back down to her ass, guiding her movements, making sure every grind, every brush of our bodies, hits just right. I can feel her trembling, her thighs shaking as she picks up the pace, chasing that high.

I can’t resist teasing her a little, my hands kneading her ass as she rides me, my fingers brushing just along the edge of her entrance, close enough to make her squirm but not enough to give her what she really wants. She lets out a frustrated moan, hips moving harder, trying to get more.

“Paige!” she groans, voice full of need and just the right amount of anger, her breath coming out in ragged pants. “Stop playing with me. I can’t take it.”

My grip tightens, and I keep her exactly where I want her, reaching up to tuck a loose curl behind her ear, my fingers lingering as I brush my thumb gently along her cheek. “You can take it, baby,” I whisper. “I know you can.”

She looks at me with those pleading eyes, her breath hitching as she adjusts herself, arching her back more. The movement pushes her even closer to me, our bodies pressing together, and the feeling almost sends me over the edge.

Without warning, I dip two fingers into her entrance, the sight too pretty to resist. It makes her gasp, her body collapsing forward against me. Our skin sticks together, warm too from the sweat, and her chest is pressing against mine as she struggles to catch her breath.

Before she can lose herself entirely, I slide my hand to her lower stomach, pushing her back up, guiding her into place. “Nah, stay up w’me, ma.” My voice is shaky with the effort of holding it together. Out of breath, mouth wide open. “Hold that shit.”

She whines out, her voice high and so pornographic. “Mm—oh, I can’t…” Her words trail off into a desperate moan, her body shuddering as my fingers move in that come-hither motion, curling inside her just right. The feeling of her slick is almost too much to bear, making my head spin.

I push through, keeping her steady even as I feel myself starting to lose control. “You can,” I pant, my breath coming out in ragged bursts. “So close, I know you can do it.”

She’s trembling, her thighs shaking as she tries to follow my command, but I can see the strain on her face, her dilated pupils, the way she’s fighting to keep herself together. My fingers work faster, deeper, and she bites down so hard on her lip I swear it might bleed.

Finally, when I feel her body tighten around me, right on the edge of breaking, I tap her ass lightly with my palm and pull my fingers out just enough to catch everything. “Now, baby. Come for me.”

The moment I say it, she lets go, and we come together, our bodies moving in sync, the room filled with strangled noises. The pleasure is blinding, overwhelming, and I cling to her as we ride it out. She’s finally able to fall on top of me comfortably, hand resting on my chest.

We stay like that for a moment, tangled together, both of us shaking with the aftershocks, until we finally start to come down. I press a soft kiss to her temple, my heart still racing (for more than one reason I’ll admit) as I hold her close.

I can feel her hesitance, scared to move or say anything. But I can also feel her tiredness, the way her body sags against mine like she’s too worn out to keep up any walls.

Gently, I shift, moving my body so I’m laid up next to her, our limbs tangling together naturally. My arm stays draped around her, holding her close as she nestles her head into the crook of my neck, her breath warm against my skin. It feels good—too good—like maybe we could stay like this forever if we didn’t know better.

“I want you to mean what you said. All of it.” 

Her words hang, and I can feel her hesitation, the fear that I’m just saying things because it’s easier than dropping the bomb or just straight losing her. I swallow, pulling her closer.

“You’ont think I did?”

“Paige.”

“Drea, I do.”

She doesn’t respond right away, just presses herself deeper into me, like she’s trying to believe it, trying to let herself see us being more than what we are right now without it turning into shit. I know how hard that is, how many times we’ve proven we aren’t made for each other.

“Then prove it,” she finally murmurs, her voice a little stronger now, like she’s challenging me, daring me to back it up.

I nod against her, not sure if she can even feel it, but I know what she means. It’s not about words anymore—it’s about what comes next, and whether we can make it work. “I will,” I promise, and for once, I really believe it.

[bad268]

Burn

Aftermath Affair Pt. 4

(Oscar Pisatri X Reader + Ex! Lando Norris X Reader)

Fandom: RPF/Formula 1

Requested: Nope, happy 5 years!

Warnings: Airing dirty laundry lol, that's about it. Based on the song from Hamilton (not Lewis)

POV: Second Person (You/your/They/them)

W.C. 1710

Chapter Summary: Y/n L/n posted a new video, and everyone's hearts stop.

As always, my requests are OPEN

MASTERLIST // HITLIST

<-Part 3

~~(^Both from Pinterest)

You moved in with Oscar that night. All you took were your clothes. Everything that Lando bought you now burned you, and you couldn’t give a fuck less about what he bought you. You wanted nothing to do with anything related to Lando. He reached out once, asking where you were. All you said was, “Ask Ava.” He understood then. At least, you assumed he did because you blocked his number and every social media account he had before he could respond. 

You heard from Oscar that Lando was a wreck. You laughed it off because he did this to himself.

Your subscribers noticed the change. Your personal channel content changed from video games to vlogs. You were going out and doing things, in London they learned, and they loved to see it. You still played games, but fewer racing games and more random games you always wanted to play. Your subscribers also noticed how happy you were. They were convinced you and Lando got engaged.

Little did they know, you were falling for a different man.

Your subscribers were thrown for a loop when your shared channel with Lando was deleted. You decided it was time to delete it. They bombarded your socials almost immediately, asking what’s going on. They tried to see if it was rebranded or saved anywhere, but it seemed like your entire relationship was ripped from the internet. Your Instagram was void of Lando, your channel no longer had videos with him, and you didn’t follow him anywhere anymore. They didn’t even notice until then.

~

Y/n L/n just posted!

“A Letter to Lando”

“By now, you will have all seen that the shared channel is gone,” You opened the video. You were sitting in your new recording room. It was more open than your last one, more bright. You had a large window that brought in a lot of natural light, and it was more your style. The last one was just Lando’s recording room that you borrowed, so you couldn’t change it. When you moved in, Oscar told you to make this space yours in any way you wanted. It took a while, but you felt at home for once. “I deleted our shared channel because I am erasing myself from this narrative.“

“I’ve filmed this video at least three times at this point,” You took a breath as you felt tears well up in your eyes again. It’s hard to talk about what happened. Not only the way in which you found out about the cheating but also how you reacted. It was one of the darkest times in your life, and it took a lot to come back from. “I’m sorry, but it’s been a struggle trying to find the words to share this. As many of you have seen on Lando’s Instagram, Lando and I are no longer together.”

Oscar still had to follow Lando on Instagram for team purposes, and that’s how you saw that he posted a hard launch with Ava. 

You still did not know how you wanted to tell everyone what happened. You looked off at the wall. Your viewers couldn’t see it, but there was a picture of you and Oscar from a few months ago. You went out to celebrate 1.5 million subscribers. Oscar insisted, saying it was a huge milestone, and you didn’t want to make it a big deal. He insisted and dragged you out of the apartment. The picture was taken right after you accidentally knocked ice cream onto his nose. Lando wouldn’t even celebrate 1 million with you. Remembering the happiness with Oscar made you smile.

“Clearly, we’re not together anymore,” You sighed as your smile faded. “I’m not going into details, but I hope they’re happy. My friends always said he would do what it took to survive, and they were right. I was blinded by his words and his actions. That’s on me.”

“You talked about how long you have been in love with her, and how you didn’t believe in true love until you met each other,” You let out a breath as you thought of your next words carefully. “You told the world how you brought this girl into our bed, and in explaining your love story, you have ruined our lives. Do you know what my friends said? They called you an Icarus! That’s how my friends reacted, so I’ve decided that I’ll let you wonder how I reacted when you broke my heart, when you tore us apart.”

“I kept every letter you ever wrote to me,” You chuckled lightly as you pulled out a few pieces of paper. “The letter you first asked me out with because you were too scared to ask me face to face, the letter you wrote when we hit each milestone, random letters where you just professed your love, and letters that I would have cherished forever. I also kept the letter I wrote to you when I found out. I thought about reading a few lines out,” You insinuated by opening one of the letters before pulling out a lighter. You had already opened the window and had a bucket of water by your feet, and Oscar was standing outside with a fire extinguisher just in case. You chuckled lightly as you skimmed the loving words that had now turned sour in your eyes. At that moment, you decided you wanted to watch it burn. “I’ll let you all wonder how I reacted when he broke my heart.”

Your soft smile as you read slowly turned to a scowl before you lit the corner of the paper and looked directly into the camera. “Lando, you don’t deserve to see how I reacted. You don’t deserve anything from me. The world has no place in our bed, and they don’t get to know what I said. I am burning the memories, the letters that might have redeemed you. Lando, you can sleep in your office with only the memories of when you were mine.”

You lit all of Lando’s letters one by one before dropping them in the bucket once they were destroyed. Then you grabbed your letter to Lando. You skimmed through the multiple pages of it, remembering the feelings before lighting the corner. “You didn’t give me the decency to tell me yourself. I had to learn of your affair from your friend, so you forfeit the rights to my heart. You forfeit the place in our bed. I hope you’re happy with yourself, Lando.”

You threw the last letter into the bucket and gazed at the camera. Finally, you felt at peace.

“One last note to Lando Norris,” You paused, allowing a small smile to envelop your features, “I hope you burn.”

~

The reactions were almost instant. You sat on the couch curled up against Oscar’s body, rewatching Sex Education. It was one of your favorite shows, but Lando hated it, so you never got to watch it. Oscar binged it once, so he was always down to rewatch it with you. You heard your phone going off, so you pulled it out of your pocket to check it. However, Oscar immediately took it out of your hand and powered it off. 

“Hey, what’s that for?” You chuckled as he moved your phone away from you. “I was gonna check that.”

“Shhh, the show is playing,” He whispered as he leaned toward your ear before turning his attention back to the show. 

“You’re insufferable,” You laughed as you turned your attention back to the screen. It didn’t hold your attention long as you looked back over to Oscar. You were leaning against his chest with your arms wrapped around his waist, so you were looking up at him. He had an arm around your shoulder while the other rested against your thigh that was lying over his lap. You got lost in your thoughts.

Oscar was everything to you. You felt more free whenever you were with him. At first, he gave you the space to refind yourself. He even supported you throughout the journey. Any game you wanted, he bought. Any new hobby, he tried it with you, so you wouldn’t feel alone. He never pushed you to do anything, but he did support you in everything you wanted to try. 

You never felt this supported with Lando. Looking back, he was toxic. He only wanted to play racing games or stupid games. You wanted to try other things, and he would be condescending. He always pushed you to fit the cookie cutter mold that other racing drivers’ girlfriends fit, but that was never going to be you. Oscar encouraged the change because staying in the same thing for too long can burn you out. It was true.

At some point of your staring, Oscar looked down at you with a smile. It wasn’t until he left a kiss on your forehead that you noticed.

When you first moved in, Oscar was very respectful in giving you your space to heal. He made sure to give you multiple spaces where you could retreat to including your own room and recording room. As the time moved on, you slowly migrated into his room for movie nights and late-night binges, and it eventually became you two staying in the same bed all night. Oscar never pushed you away. He wanted you to know that he was there for you whenever you were ready, and he was willing to wait as long as he needed for you. 

“Penny for your thoughts,” He said with a quiet tone, not wanting to disturb the peace.

“I think I’m ready,” You replied in the same tone. You moved to sit up a little more before grabbing Oscar’s hand, “I’m ready to give us a chance.”

“Really?” Oscar asked as he started getting excited before calming back down, “Wait, I don’t want to rush you if you aren’t ready.”

“That’s exactly why I’m ready,” You laughed as you leaned back into him. “You gave me the space to become comfortable again. Oscar, I don’t think I’ve ever felt this comfortable and free with someone in my life! You have been everything but pushy, and I’m ready to try us.”

~~~ Part 5 ->

~

Tags- @barcelonaloverf1life

~~~~~

© BAD268 2024. DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION.

[starl3ght]

hi this is my first time requesting but can I request some fluff head canons of ghost when he has a crush on you. Some NSFW ones if possible. Please?

Sorry this took awhile! I’ve been trying to find the good ways to write this. Anyways here!!

//~Simon “Ghost” Riley having a crush on you~//

A/N: Y’all I ordered my electric guitar. Won’t get here till the 15th🥹🔫 ANYWAYS- Finished this. Alejandro hcs are next!! Make sure to follow for a lot more and drop requests if you want any!!!

MINORS WATCH YOURSELVES!!

-

-

SFW

• It took a while for him to realize he liked you

• Let alone love you. The thought scared him

• Obviously at first he tried to push you away because he didn’t wanna hurt you or get attached

• He had to accept it and honestly he felt relieved

• He’ll watch you from afar as you do your activities

• If he sees you smile his heart melts and probably blush

• Soap might catch on to his behavior

• “You keep looking at her mate, I think I know what’s going on.” Soap has a smirk on his face

• Ghost looked at him deadly in the eye “You keep your mouth shut Mactavish, sleep with one eye open sergeant.”

• Soap is scarred for life

• He’ll check on you after missions to see if you’re mentally and physically ok

• You might tease him asking him if he was worried about you

• He can’t control himself when you tease him, he’ll just pat your head and walk off

• He couldn’t hold back anymore and his feelings

• He went to your room a certain night and knocked to get it over with

• You were confused when you opened your door and saw him standing there

• “Ghost?” You asked him curiously. “What’s wrong?” You look at him with gentle concern in your eyes

• He’ll take steps forward to you

• “Stop me please…I won’t be able to do it myself…” he reaches down for his mask and how shock is spread on your face

• He throws it to the side and immediately puts his lips onto yours

• You kiss him back and it feels like a dream, a dream where you could wake up any moment and have to live your boring life

• But no. This is real

• When you pull back you’re panting heavily and he looks at you deeply

• “You did this to me…I can’t work correctly when you look at me with those beautiful eyes of yours, I can’t focus when you talk to me with that angelic voice of yours love. Just do us both a favor and be mine, I’ll make sure I do everything to protect you because I love you too much to let you go.”

• You’re not confused or shocked…you’re relieved

• “It’s about time Simon. It’s about damn time you make me yours”

NSFW

• That confession he told you?

• It made sure it wasn’t a fling

• This man is a gentle dom.

• Will let you top him at times

• Sometimes will be behind, but prefers missionary to look at you

• Now he is very skilled with his tongue, just feeling it inside of you is enough to make you come as you clench around it

• If you’re giving to him, he will not stay quiet

• Releases some shaky breathless moans as you finish him off. His thighs will shake a bit and his abs tighten as he comes in your mouth

• Now probably will go rough if you ask for it

• Not very kinky, will prefer the passion and love he has for you

• Loves when you cry out or moan softly. Now that’s how he knows he’s pleasing you well

• IS SENSITIVE!! Might get overstimulated at some points that he can’t talk well

• Eye contact with him is a must. Missionary and if you’re riding him. He looks deep into your eyes as he tells you he loves you

• Just when you’re both about to cum, he’ll hold both your hands with one of his large ones and clenches the silk sheets next to your head with his other

• Aftercare is good for both of you

• Like I said there might be times he gets overstimulated so you’ll shush him and hold him to your chest when his brain can’t process

• Either you fall asleep right there or he’ll clean you up in the bath

• Will talk with you for a while before he pulls the sheets up to cover yourselves so you can sleep

• Will kiss the top of your head murmuring a ‘goodnight love’ and holds you to his chest

[angstywaifu]

New Feelings

Request: garrick x reader. Full of fluff. Maybe their in a similar situation where their dragons are mated but recently ? And they start having these feelings they didn't have to block out before. Requests Open.

Masterlist

Garrick and I had been friends since first year. He had been behind me on the parapet on conscription day. Giving words of encouragement as I slowly made my way across with shaky legs. If it had been anyone else behind me they would have pushed me off and let me die. But not Garrick. He had made sure I made it across. Capturing me in his arms as my legs gave out when I stepped off. Guiding me over to one of the benches to help me calm my nerves. Heights had never been my strong point. But I didn’t have a choice in being here. Neither had Garrick. Both children of the rebellion. Both marked to show what our parents had done.

Since that moment he had helped me with my training. Making sure I had what I needed to survive. He had become my life line for the first few months till we both bonded our dragons. Once that happened it was like something in me shifted, and it all became natural to me. I was no longer the scared girl who had shakily made her way across the parapet. I was a dragon rider. But it hadn’t stopped Garrick and I training together whenever we got the chance. And when the time came he brought me in on the supply runs to the Gryphon riders. It helped that our dragons got along well. Chradh and Nearte having a close friendship just like Garrick and I. Meaning they flew well together.

But at the end of second year they threw a spanner in the works for us. Chradh and Nearte becoming mated dragons. A bonded pair for life. Bonding Garrick and I to each other for life. I remember the night it happened. Graduation Night. At first I wasn’t sure what I was feeling. What had come over me. But that night Garrick and I had ended up in someone else’s bed to try subdue the feeling that had both taken us by surprise. The next morning Xaden had lost it as Garrick joined us for breakfast. Instantly knowing what had gone down due to having a mated dragon himself. We we’re both still on edge, the emotions our dragons we’re feeling over being newly mated still screaming at us down the bond. We’d both barely gotten any sleep despite going multiple rounds with the other riders we had taken to bed.

Xaden reaches into his jacket pocket and places a tin on the table between us before standing. “Split what’s inside. You two are going to need it to get through the next few days.” He teases before walking out of the hall.

Garrick reaches over and opens the tin. Churum. Something we definitely were not allowed to have in the quadrant. But as we met each others eyes, we knew we we’re going to need it if we wanted to get a good nights sleep before the school year started up again.

After that everything mostly turned back to normal, besides our dragons going at it nearly every night for the first few weeks. The churum only doing so much to dull the tsunami of emotions they sent down the bond. But as the days and weeks went on, as Garrick and I learnt to shield out the brunt of the emotions they sent down the bond, something else had changed. As if I had started to see Garrick in a new light. In a way I had never seen him before. And that’s how I found myself zoned out in challenges as I watched Garrick take on a guy in second year. My eyes trailing over his muscular physique on full show due to him removing his shirt. The sweat that accentuates every fine line.

”You ok Y/N?” Xaden asks from next to me.

I tear my eyes away from Garrick who has the second year easily pinned beneath him. “Yeah.. yeah I’m fine.” I tell him as confidently as I can.

He raises an eyebrow at me. “I’ve been trying to get your attention since his challenge started.”

”And?”

”That was two minutes ago.” He states bluntly.

Oh.

”Sorry just a bit distracted.” I tell him with a shrug, my cheeks burning as they flush.

Xaden looks at me before shifting his eyes to Garrick. A small smirk on his lips.

“About damn time.” He teases.

I narrow my eyes at him. “What do you mean about damn time?”

“The fact you have to ask that just proves how oblivious you are. Maybe this mated dragon thing will do you two some good.” He tells me with a chuckle as the bell ringing around the quadrant signals the end of challenges.

I look at him confused, what the hell was he talking about? But I was about to find out. I turn back to look at Garrick to see another girl walking up him. Reaching out to run her hand down his front. I instantly see red despite Garrick reaching out and stopping her. He does nothing to hide his displeasure at what she’s done. Garrick might get around, but he doesn’t like it being flaunted in front of the Quadrant publicly. But the girl still tries. Reaching out with her other hand. I must go to rush forward as Xaden grasps my wrist tightly in his hand.

”Is that jealousy?” Xaden teases.

I glare at him as I rip my wrist from his grasp, looking up to see Garrick looking at me with panic in his eyes. The girl trying to get his attention back as he just stares at me. I turn and rush from the room, wiping the angry tears that have fallen down my cheeks. I vaguely hear him calling my name as I rush through the Quadrant. Praying I can lose him. But he knows exactly where I’m running off to. And yet I don’t change my path. Head right where Garrick knows I will go. But at least I will be able to get a few moments before he arrives. I lean back against the tree as I lower myself to the ground, shutting my eyes and focusing on my breathing. I’d made a fool of myself. Let Xaden get in my head. But had he? I’d instantly seen red when that girl had walked over to Garrick. Instantly wanted to march over and tear her off him. Not something I had ever wanted to do before. This was just our dragons and them being mated now. This was nothing to do with actually wanting Garrick. Right? Heavy foot steps on the ground announce his arrival. I open my eyes to see him leaning on the tree next to me, arms crossed across his now clothed chest. Looking at me in a way I’ve never seen him look at me before.

”I think we need to talk darling.”

[j2hoes]

Hopes And Fears - Part Two. (Wally Clark x Reader.)

Summary: Y/N’s death is traumatic. So traumatic in fact, she can’t even look at Wally without reliving what happened to her.

Word Count: 3.1k

Gif Not Mine. Requests Are Open!

Warnings: Death

Part One.

A/N: It’s finally here!! I can’t even begin to express how sorry I am that has it has taken me over a year to get part two out. I’m sure most of you are probably over waiting for it anyway but if you do fancy giving it a read, I really appreciate it and hope it was worth the excessively long wait. I’ve tagged everybody that asked for a part two!! Once again, I am so deeply sorry! Please forgive me!!

“I would like to begin by thanking everybody that is here today and for those who have reached out to our family in this incredibly difficult time. Your thoughts and prayers have been so comforting and a reminder of the impact that our beautiful daughter had on so many people.

How would I even begin to describe Y/N? She was truly the most special girl and I am so thankful that I was able to bring her into this world, even if she did have to leave it early. The years I got to spend with her, were the best of my life and nothing will ever compare to the bond that her and I shared. She was so kind, so generous and so loving. Never declining the opportunity to spend time with her family, even if it may have been the embarrassing thing to do. I know what it’s like to be a teenager and for her to put us first consistently was just one of her many great qualities.

Y/N was an honour roll student, a successful gymnast and dancer, as well as being captain of the Split River Cheerleaders. As a child, she had so much energy, to the point where we didn’t know what to do with her. After enrolling her in dance classes for the first time, she fell in love with the sport, gymnastics and cheerleading followed and I remember being so nervous that she would injure herself. However, when she stared up at me with those gleaming eyes, I couldn’t bring it in myself to say no. These were just a few of her passions and it was evident that this was where she felt at home anytime we watched her at competitions or rehearsals. No longer the shy little girl that used to hide behind my legs before her first day of school.

Our daughter was also a keen activist and did a lot of charity work, though most of you probably wouldn’t know that. She volunteered at the animal shelter on our block every weekend, which led to her rescuing countless animals over the years. Leaving us with not only a dog but three cats, a ferret, five rabbits, countless chickens and four rats. She also ran at least one marathon a year in order to raise money for numerous charities, and often donated supplies and food to women’s shelters around the state.

Our daughter was the most selfless person I know, always putting other before herself. She taught us a lot and made us better people. For which I’ll be eternally grateful.

We wish we could’ve stopped this, and that we could’ve had more time with her. We wish we could’ve watched her grow and sent her off to college. We wish we could’ve moved her into her first apartment and seen her get married, maybe even had grandchildren.

The pain we are experiencing right now is unlike any other. To lose a child is the most gut wrenching thing, I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. I would give anything to hold her in my arms one last time. To be able to tell her I love her one last time.

So please, if anybody has any information as to who did this to our precious girl, all I ask is that you share this with the police department. Please help us find the person responsible and allow us some closure and for Y/N to get justice. She didn’t deserve this. Thank you.”

My mother cries as she steps away from the podium, collapsing into the arms of my father. Tears silently roll down my face as I take in the scene, the heartbreak across their faces as they hold each other. Unable to contain the grief they’re feeling.

As the principal speaks, I watch the crowd. My friends trying their best to hide their sadness, teachers hold their heads down, struggling to understand how this could’ve happened, even some students I only knew in passing look as though they could burst into tears at any moment.

It’s a difficult thing to watch, your own memorial. I suppose I never thought about how other would react to my death before, it never crosses your mind as you assume you won’t be able to witness it. God, what I would give to be that naive again.

“Hi Split River, for those of you that don’t know me, I’m Abby. Y/N was, well is my best friend. We met when we were in kindergarten and from that day forward we’ve been inseparable.

Y/N was a very shy person, I’m sure most of you would describe her as an introvert. Fortunately, I was one of the few people she let into her life, breaking down the invisible barriers she built around herself and it was the greatest pleasure of my life.

We were total opposites and enjoyed different things but that didn’t matter. For example, Y/N hated theatre, she called it glorified pantomime, but she still attended every show I was in, she still helped me practice my lines and she still encouraged me to do what I loved even if she couldn’t stand it.

We had so many things we wanted to do together, we were going to share a dorm together at Parsons, she would major in fashion design and I would do photography. We’d take over the world as a duo, running our own magazine that I could star in, of course. All those dreams of ours have been ripped to shreds now and I don’t know what to do without her. My life was intertwined with her’s and there was never a future that she wasn’t apart of. I’m completely lost without her.

I hope whoever did this rots in hell. You deserve nothing but suffering for taking such a pure soul out of this world.”

Abby’s words leave a small smile on my face despite the tears that continue to fall. In all honesty, I’m surprised her entire speech wasn’t a rage fuelled rant directed at the perpetrator.

Despite my eyes being fixed on the service taking place in the gym below, I still feel the bench dip slightly. Alerting me of someone’s presence. My eyes reluctantly drag themselves away and I realise it’s the footballer, he sits towards the other end of the bench, keeping his distance. I’m quick to notice the lack of football jersey, wearing nothing but a white tank top that defines his arms nicely and his blue school assigned gym shorts.

His hands are clutching a bouquet of flowers, an array of sunflowers, dusty orange irises, blood red snapdragons and soft peach chrysanthemums. They’re arranged beautifully, held together by a small piece of string.

“They were beautiful speeches.” He comments, soft smile gracing his features.

I nod, offering a small smile in return. The lack of football attire puts me at ease and I’m appreciative of the distance between us. Guilt consumes me slightly at my judgement towards him, but I can’t control it. After what happened, I don’t want to put myself in that situation again. I’m not taking any chances.

“This is the hard part. My mom couldn’t even finish her eulogy she was crying that much.” He tells me, eyes fixed on the girls from my cheerleading squad who are now doing their own speech. “It’s good to know you have so many people who care about you though.”

He doesn’t look over at me once he’s finished speaking and I take my time to look at him properly. Soft brown eyes compliment his dark, almost black hair. Full lips and a youthful glow, it dawns on me that he’s been stuck in this state for decades, never aging, never changing.

“I feel bad.” I state, voice barely louder than a whisper as I allow myself to make eye contact with him when he turns to face me. “They shouldn’t have to go through this.”

“Hey, it’s not your fault.” He goes to move towards me before stopping himself, though never taking his eyes off mine. “You can’t blame yourself, trust me I spent years doing that and no good comes of it. You’ll just end up tormenting yourself.”

Nodding as I take in his words, I let out a long sigh. Gazing down at my parents once again, I can’t help but feel the tears welling up in my eyes once again and I’m quick to wipe them away. Not wanting Wally to see me cry. They’re still clinging on to each other, though they’ve moved to sit down now, neither of them look as though they’re paying much attention to those speaking. Focused solely on comforting one another.

It’s in that moment that I notice who the next speaker is and my entire body tenses. Why is Spencer getting up to speak? He’s dressed to the nines in a black suit, hands gripping a piece of paper that has evidently been crumpled up. If my heart still worked I’m almost positive it would’ve stopped beating right this second.

Is this some sort of sick joke? Parading around in front of my grieving loved ones, knowing full well that he’s potentially evaded justice. I feel sick to my stomach and can’t bare to watch. What could he even have to say?

“Walk with me.”

Before Wally can even figure out what is happening, I’m practically sprinting out of the gym. Hurrying down the hallway in an effort to get as far away from Spencer as physically possible. It’s completely irrational, I know he can’t see me. He can’t hurt me again. Yet, I can’t even bring myself to stay in the same room as him.

“How did you die?” I ask Wally once he has caught up to me, walking beside me while making sure to keep a few feet between us. I’m in need of a distraction and as long as he’s talking, I can keep my mind off the situation that just unfolded before me.

“Oh, I um was tackled during the homecoming game of my senior year in ‘83. Snapped my neck and died on the pitch.” He tells me, one hand scratching the back of his neck as he does so, eyes unable to meet mine. “I’d already been benched but my mom pushed me to get back in the game and I just wanted to make her proud.”

Stopping in my tracks, I turn to face him properly. His face is full of guilt, and perhaps a little bit of shame. Afraid that he didn’t do his best, that he didn’t make his mom proud.

“She still comes to every game. I mean they named the stadium after me so it’s nice that I get to see her once a year. I’m lucky in that sense.”

He’s rambling, trying to fill the silence with anything he can. It’s something I often found myself down when I was still alive. Wanting to aid the embarrassment and nervousness I often felt.

“Wally. Your mom will always be proud of you. A mom’s pride for her child is unconditional.” I speak confidently, allowing him to feel reassured, something I can sense he needs right now.

“You’re right. I just wish things ended differently, like if I’d won the game, all those years of training wouldn’t have gone to waste you know?”

The sadness in his voice is prevalent and I can tell he struggles with it even after all these years. He’s still not making eye contact with me and I feel that pang of guilt once again, for assuming he would be like all the other stupid footballers I know. He has a good heart, I see that now.

“You heard my mom’s speech right? If we’re gonna play that game then all those years of dance training were for nothing.” I joke, hoping it’ll ease his sullen mood slightly. “I danced because it was fun, besides, if all of those years were for nothing, would I still be able to do this?”

For the first time since we left the gym, Wally actually looks at me. Raising my arms, I judge the distance behind me before throwing myself into a back handspring. The boy laughs quietly, causing me to smile as he brings his hands together in a round of applause, muffled slightly due to the flowers he’s still holding. Bowing obnoxiously, I can’t help but allow myself to enjoy the moment. It’s the first bit of happiness I’ve felt this entire time and I intend to savour it.

“Wow. Yeah, you would not catch me doing that.” He comments, matching my pace as we continue to walk again. “Thank you, by the way.”

My eyebrows furrow in confusion, not entirely sure where his thanks are coming from. Staying silent as we sit opposite one another in the communal gardens towards the back of the school. It’s quiet, not many students know it’s here, and the ones that do have no interest in being back here. They’d much rather be on the quad where they actually get phone service.

“For cheering me up, I mean. The others can sometimes get a bit annoyed when I bring up what happened. They think I should’ve got over it by now with it being almost forty odd years ago.” He states, the sunlight reflecting on him at just the right angle, it makes him look angelic. Beautiful really.

“Can anybody get over their death?”

“Rhonda seems to think so, but I reckon she just doesn’t like talking about what happened to her.” He replies, a fondness in his eyes as he talks about her, almost as if he’s remembering a past conversation.

Leaning back to take in the sun, I close my eyes, absorbing the light that hits my face. Being dead is strange to say the least, I thought I wouldn’t feel anything. No emotions, no sensations, nothing. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Since death, I’ve mostly felt sadness and anger, but spending this short amount of time with Wally has made me aware of the happiness i’m able to feel as well. Not to mention the warmth of the sun on my skin, I can pretend I’m alive. Even if it is just for a second.

“These are for you by the way.” Wally’s voice bring me back to reality and I realise he’s holding the bouquet of flowers out to me. He’s sat a good distance away and so I have to lean forward to take them from his grasp. Fingers brushing as I do so and I’m quick to pull away, despite the warmth that rushed through my hand upon the momentary interaction. “I was going to give them to you earlier, but then it didn’t seem right because we were watching the eulogies and all. I didn’t wanna make it weird or awkward for you or anything. I also didn’t know what kind of flowers you liked so I just picked a bunch from the flower gardens, Charlie helped me arrange them, I hope they’re okay because my first attempt wasn’t the best. Apparently the colours didn’t match or something-“

“Wally they’re gorgeous.” I interrupt, unable to hide the grin that is beginning to spread across my face as I bring them to my nose to inhale the scent. “Snapdragons are my favourite.”

“Oh thank god. I was really worried you would hate them, or that maybe you weren’t a flower person.” He blurts out, following a quick sigh of relief. “Not that it’s a big deal or anything. I just wanted to make sure you knew that I mean no harm, and sort of welcome you the afterlife I guess.”

I must admit the nervous rambling is cute, I can feel the redness flushing my cheeks as I hide myself behind the flowers. Taking my time to admire the bouquet as much as I can. It’s a beautiful gesture, and I’m in disbelief that he spent the time to do this for me. A peace offering despite him doing nothing wrong.

“You’re sweet Wally.” I admit, delicately stroking the petals on a couple of the flowers. “I’m really sorry about before. You just remind me of someone.”

“A footballer ex perhaps?” He questions, unable to get Rhonda’s previous comment out of his head. Whether it be down to jealousy or curiosity he’s unsure.

“No, no ex.” I shake my head adamantly, eyes glued to the flowers as I try to come up with the words to describe why I acted the way I did. It’s still too soon for me to talk about, I know that. However, I also know that Wally does deserve some sort of explanation. “I don’t think I’m ready to talk about it just yet, but if I have another moment like before I promise it’s not your fault.”

Wally nods, understanding and accepting my boundaries. We stay sat in silence for a moment longer, he doesn’t push me to talk, nor does he change the subject. Instead, we just embrace the peace we’ve created in the garden. It’s the most relaxed I’ve felt for a while and I’m able to sit with my own thoughts without sending myself into a spiral or a panic. It’s nice.

The minutes pass as we listen to the gentle sounds of birds chirping and the occasional rustle of the trees in the wind. It feels as though we’re stuck in time, but I feel content. I wouldn’t mind being stuck right here, right now. At least, if it wasn’t for Charlie.

“Y/N, your memorial’s ending, just thought you’d want to see your parents again before they leave!”

Wally and I both look towards the boy who stands awkwardly in the doorway. He sounds out of breath and I imagine he’s been sprinting around the school in search of me.

My hands grip the flowers tighter, veins popping and knuckles flexed as I squeeze tightly. Wally’s the first to stand and when I finally look up at him, he offers me an encouraging nod. A reminder that I am strong enough to do this. To say my goodbyes.

While I walk besides the tall jock, with Charlie taking lead in front, I do feel strong. Wally’s supportive and comforting nature radiates through the hallway and I feel confident. Although, I know this is the last time I could potentially see my parents, there’s no sadness, just a readiness to take on this new stage of my life and it fills me with a sense of acceptance. Accepting death was difficult but finally, I feel ready to take on whatever comes next.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

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[ist4rgirlo]

──────── 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞 - 𝐜.𝐟

ONE SHOT !

what else can you do when you see the love of your life looking at someone else like how you look at him?

SEQUEL : invisible string

───────────────────────────

There it was again, that pain in my heart. That pain that I’ve been constantly feeling whenever I would look at Conrad and Belly. He had this smile, this smile that only comes out for Belly. What was so special about her? what was so special about her that I don’t have?

Where did it start? when did things start to fall apart? it started with him acting so different — ever since Belly came here last summer, his world started to revolve around her. It was like I wasn’t here at all.

Now, I just sit in the dark and wonder if it's time

There were times where I would be alone in my room, thinking if I’ve done enough. If I was worth it, If I deserve Conrad. I felt insecure — Belly was beautiful, I admit that — she’s always been beautiful.

Every mornin', I glared at you with storms in my eyes

How can you say that you love someone you can't tell is dyin'?

He failed to see the signs, he failed to see how hurt I was. How it pains me everytime he would say the words “i love you” because it never sounded sincere anymore.

He would act like nothing happened, completely ignoring me. He doesn’t even notice that when we’re talking, all he talks about is Belly. He never saw the glint in my eyes, he ignored my cries, my cries for him.

Stop, you're losin' me

I can't find a pulse

My heart won't start anymore

For you

'Cause you're losin' me

I never wanted to lose him, it would kill me if I did. I never saw myself not loving him anymore. He is my dream, the love of my life — well was. It was exhausting, tiring — now he’s slowly losing me.

I walked towards Belly and Conrad — “Excuse me” I asked softly, looking at the both of them.

“Hey, y/n” Belly smiled at me, I looked at Conrad — he was barely taking his eyes away from Belly, mesmerized by her smile.

“Uh.. can I talk to Conrad?” I asked, looking down. My hands were shaking, tears started to form in my eyes. I hated this, I shouldn’t have walked towards them.

Conrad looked at me before saying bye to Belly, he pulled me to the side — raising his brows at me, tilting his head — waiting for me to talk.

He looked different, he acted different — the man infront of me looks nothing like the man I fell inlove with. I looked at hin in the eyes, seeing no emotions in it — my heart shattered.

“I-Is something wrong between us?”

“Wrong? I don’t understand you” He sounded genuinely confused, it was ridiculous. I should’ve just stopped there, at this point I am the one hurting myself.

“I know you don’t”

I chuckled, looking down. “Y/n if you’re going to waste my time then just do it another time” he said — running a hand through his hair — stealing a glance at Belly.

I scoffed, he looked at me — his brows furrowed “What?”.

“Oh nothing, I just think that you can’t take your eyes off her. I mean I can’t really blame you”

“What are you talking about?!” Conrad’s voice started to raise a little.

“I’m not stupid, Conrad. I can see it, you don’t have to lie to me. You’re falling for her, are you?” — “Conrad” it felt wrong, it didn’t feel right at all — calling him by his name — it felt like we were strangers. He was just silent — looking away.

Why can’t he say anything? why is he so quiet? why is he not denying it? why isn’t he choosing me?

“Do something, babe, say something" (say something)

"Lose something, babe, risk something" (you're losin' me)

He bit his lip before saying “Y/n, I’m sorry” he tried to reach for my hand — his face filled with guilt. I bit my lip as I fought back a sob — pulling my hand away from him, walking away from him.

My heary dropped, my stomach churned. I regret it, god why am I so stupid? I couldn’t breathe, my heart broke in so many pieces. What happened to us? where did I go wrong?

I gave him all my best me's, my endless empathy.

I shook my head no, “No, i’m sorry for being so fucking stupid. I should’ve never let it last this long, we shouldn’t have happened. I knew that there was always a spot for her in your heart, I should’ve just stayed away” that wasn’t true, I don’t know why I said that.

Conrad looked at me, walking towards me grabbing my hand “No.. no y-you don’t mean that. Please, y-you don’t know what you’re saying.” he stuttered, shaking his head no — hurt from what I just said, he knew it was true, he tried to deny it but he can’t.

All I wanted was for him to notice me, for him to love me like how much I love him. No one told me how exhausting it was to chase someone who won’t give you back what you gaveto them.

Choose something, babe, I got nothing (got nothing)

To believe

Unless you're choosin' me"

“I-I’ll just go, I’m sorry for ruining this party. I’m so so sorry, Susannah” I said before putting a hand over my mouth — pulling away from him, turning around.

“Darling please“ Susannah said standing up from her seat, I looked at her, shaking my head no.

“Do something, Connie!” Jeremiah panicked — yelling at Conrad — he was about to run towards me but he was too late, I was already out of the door.

I can't find a pulse

My heart won't start anymore

I looked back — seeing Conrad hugging Belly through the window. I ran towards my car and went inside — I sobbed as I drove off — didn’t dare to even look back. That was my que to leave because he already chose, and he didn’t choose me.

I know my pain is such an imposition

Now, you're runnin' down the hallway

And you know what they all say

You don't know what you got until it's gone

───────────────────────────

here you go anon !! this totally broke my heart — i hope you enjoy <3

[fandom-lover2]

Hope To Stay A While, Just Till The Rain Stops

Chapter Three - This Is Why We Don't Have Knives At The Table

Word Count - 1244

-image not mine-

Chapter Two - Welcome To The Club

Dinner was… tense.

Damian glared daggers at me, my mother avoided eye contact, Bruce kept looking between me and Damian, Richard and Tim ate as if nothing was wrong and Alfred kept moving between the dining room and kitchen.

I myself hadn’t touched my food, opting to push it around with a fort instead. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to eat, but rather my mind was too occupied to try.

Bruce Wayne, billionaire and one of the most influential men on the planet was my biological father.

I was the daughter of Bruce Wayne.

The 17 years of my life, I had been calling the wrong person ‘father’. The last 17 years of my life I had only been living a half truth; my mother had only told me a half truth. I only knew half of myself. I had a brother who probably hated me, a rich-ass father who owned one of the largest companies in the world and it had taken 17 years to learn the truth.

 Damian snapped first, slamming his hands on the table and standing so fast his chair banged against the floor.

I jumped at the noise.

“I refuse to believe it!”

“Damian!” Bruce reprimanded, frowning at his son.

Damian then snapped his attention from me to his… our father. “You said I was the only blood child!”

“That was before I knew of Y/n’s existence.” he said, standing.

I scoffed, finally reaching my breaking point as well. “Yeah, ‘cause I’m like some fucking new insect species that’s just been discovered.”

“Language!” my mother snapped.

I also rose from my seat, dropping the fork. “No, I have every right to be angry. You lied to me for 17 years.”

Tim and Richard remained silent, watching the exchange.

“For 17 years I’ve been telling myself that I’m not good enough for my father only to find out I was trying to meet the expectations of the wrong guy.” I glared down at my mom. “You let me get depression, anxiety, insomnia for Christ sake! You put me through hell! And for what, to keep me from him!?” I gestured to the man in question.

He and Damian remained silent as well.

“I did it so you didn’t interfere with his life.” she meekly tired to justify.

I laughed dryly. “Well congratulations, you just made me feel like a burden to everyone else’s lives.”

My mother remained silent, looking at her lap. I scoffed again, crossing my arms and flopping back down into my chair.

 “I want proof!” Damian demanded after a brief pause.

“How you gonna get that, genius? DNA test?”

“Yes.” he answered seriously.

“And what if the public find out? The perfect ‘Bruce Wayne’ having another bastard child is really the headlines you wanna read?”

“We have a private lab.” he snarled.

“Enough, both of you.” Bruce snapped.

Damian continued to scowl down at me while Bruce sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Damian is correct. We do have a lab in the Manor and Alfred can conduct the test, if you’d like.”

“Yeah.” I murmured, still keeping my head down.

Alfred, who had watched the whole exchange, cleared his throat. “I will collect the equipment needed to take blood samples. Please continue the meal.”

I managed to sit another few seconds before getting up and storming toward the doors but Damian moved fast and blocked my exit.

“You will never be a blood child in his eyes. I am the only one.” His glare might’ve scared another, but right now I’m sure my glare rivaled his own.

Oh wait, it probably was the same because we have the same father.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t plan it.” I hissed through gritted teeth, moving past the little rat and into the Manor.

I had no idea where I was going, so I followed the lights to the balcony and sat on the railing, overlooking the gardens. Gotham City shone brightly in the distance but I didn’t care.

Instead, I stared down at my hands. What Damian said shouldn’t of hurt, but it did. After all I’d been through, a small part of me hoped that I could at least make my real father, who I’d only know for an hour, proud. But knowing me for an hour was all people needed to realize it would be better to just walk out of my life while they had a chance.

And these hands. There were my own but now they felt so different. They held a different weight because deep down I know that my very DNA was different to what I believed it to be my whole life.

“Hey.”

I nearly fell off the railing but steady hands caught my waist. Spinning, I was met with Bruce looking down at me in concern.

“Thanks.” I mumbled, looking away again.

Bruce waited a moment before sighing, then swung his one leg over the railing and then the other, sitting beside me. “I know this must be hard.”

“Well its not every day you find out that your father isn’t your real dad. Instead he’s a billionaire.”

Bruce remained silent so I spoke up. “How’s Damian?”

“He struggles with anger issues so we’ve working on new methods for him to ‘control his anger’. He’s doing that.”

I didn’t want to know what that meant.

“Why is it that you asked about Damian?” Bruce asked.

Why had I asked?

I shrugged. “Dunno. Guess he is kinda my brother.”

Bruce hummed, keeping his eyes forward. I however, turned to look at him. He had such a strong aura around him, like he carried burdens that weren’t his own yet held them so effortlessly that no one noticed.

“I have a question for you.” I spoke up.

He turned to face me.

“Why did you tell me? You could’ve just paid my mom to keep quiet. Why now?”

Bruce turned away for a moment, collecting his thoughts, then turned to face me again. “Because you are my daughter, and as your father it is my responsibility-”

I cringed at the word and he corrected himself.

“It is my wish to ensure that you have a good life. I want to be able to support you, but if you want me out then I’m out. But I want you to know that I, we, are your family.”

I was speechless. This was different to the treatment I’m used to.

Someone cleared their throat and we turned to see Alfred with a small bag in his hand.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Bruce spoke up beside me. “I don’t really think it is needed, but if you want proof.”

I looked at him, then to Alfred, then down to my hands again.

I wasn’t who I thought I was this morning, but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Yes, I had been lied to, and my life was through upside down an hour ago. But, Bruce wasn’t forcing this on me.

I didn’t know Bruce, didn’t know his story or his life, but I felt I could believe his words. I wasn’t always here, like it or not it was here I was going to be. Even if I didn’t stay long, I had a place here.

“No. I don’t think we need it.”

I looked up at Bruce, and he was smiling. A real smile, a kind smile. A happy smile. “How about I show you to your room?”

[daughterofcain-67]

𝙾𝚞𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝙾𝚞𝚛 𝚃𝚒𝚖𝚎 (𝚙𝚝 3)

(Soldier Boy x Female Reader)

(masterlist)

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : When Ben comes across Crimson Countess he also runs into the man that released him from the vault back in Russia. He proposes a deal which Ben has to think about, but Butcher has some information that peeks his interest. Your whereabouts.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 : spoilers to the show (Ben’s encounter with Crimson Countess), a little bit of a steamy moment. I think that’s it?

After his encounter with The Legend, Ben knew that his first stop would have to be Crimson Countess. But there was one more piece of information he needed to gather.

He needed to know where you were and he needed to figure out how the Hell he was going to get to you. You were his top priority and he had a feeling Countess would know where to look. He didn’t know if that feeling was right, but it had to be worth some sort of shot.

Soon enough, Ben made it to the shitty little trailer that Countess lived in, but before he could make an advance on the little building, he was confronted. He saw this man’s face before, but from where. But then it clicked and he recognized him.

“You’re the asshole from the lab.”

“That’s right. I’m the one that managed to get you out. If you don’t mind, I’d like to have a word.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. I know you want Countess dead. Don’t worry, Mate, I’m not here to stop ya. She’s right in the trailer for the taking. It can sort of be considered a uh.. a gesture of good faith.” The man said. Ben lifted a brow.

This man meant to tell Ben that he allowed Countess to live just so he could kill her? What the hell was this man trying to get him wrapped up into?

“Good faith for what?”

“Well, I was thinking that you and I could come up to what one would call a… well a team up of sorts.”

“You want me? To team up with you?”

The burly looking man smirked before he reached into his pocket before pulling out a little piece of paper, “We know Countess isn’t the end goal for you.”

Ben didn’t like the sound of this. But he wasn’t about to stand by and take orders from some rookie that thinks he can be won over by Countess’ life being saved.

“Oh yeah, and what do you think my end goal is supposed to be, hmm?”

“A certain retired supe named Quake.” Ben’s jaw tightened for a moment and was about ready to tear this stranger limb from limb if he dared to make a threat against you.

“Now don’t get the wrong idea, Mate. I’m not here to make any threats against you or your little Harlot. This is just another gesture of mine after you take down Countess in there.”

Ben looked at the sheet the man was holding in his hand and he started to think before he spoke again, “I’ve got my own mission, Buddy.”

“Oh we understand. The details can be discussed a bit later, but we need a um… a favor I suppose you could say.”

“Let me handle Countess before I take any favors from the likes of you. If I want that address badly enough, I have my own ways of getting it without having to owe anyone any damned favors.” The man walked over to him anyway before he just handed the paper over.

“Just take the damned paper, Mate. Make your life a little easier. Go in there, do what you need to do, and I’ll even give you a ride to Quake myself.”

Ben thought about it before he reluctantly took the piece of paper from the man he would later learn was named Butcher. He put it into the pocket he had in his uniform pants before he started walking up to Countess’ door.

He has waited so long for this little ‘reunion’ of sorts.

When he walked in, he noticed that his ex girlfriend was bound to a chair. So that was what the man meant by a gesture. They did all the hard work and she sat there so helplessly for him. They were really trying to suck up to him for this little favor they wanted, huh?

“Ben? Is that you?”

Ugh, even her voice made his stomach churn with so many regrets. At one point he even hated to say that he loved her before you came into the picture.

As he stepped further into the light she spoke again, “You look so young.”

“Yeah well.. you don’t.”

Ben could see the fear in the woman’s eyes and oddly enough, it was exhilarating to know that she was fully aware of her mistake. She genuinely thought the Russians could have killed him, “I’m so, so sorry..”

Ben tilted his head as he watched her practically tremble with fear in her seat, “This wasn’t my idea. You have to believe me.”

“How much did the Russians pay you, Sweetheart? Hmm?” The moment she looked away and revealed that they didn’t pay her was crushing oddly enough.

“They didn’t pay you anything? At all?” Still, no eye contact was made as Ben continued to stare at her.

“To think.. at some point I loved you.” He began.

“I know you and I had our ups and downs, but I still held onto the hope that while they tortured me, burned me, injected poison into me that somehow you would be the one that would come and find me again. You were the one I trusted most on the team.”

Then, Countess finally looked back up at Ben and she had this spiteful look in her gaze.

“Love? I didn’t love you. I hated you.” She seethed, leaning forward into her chair,

“Every last one of us hated you. What kind of a woman would love a monster like you?”

The hand that wasn’t holding Ben’s shield tightened into a fist. So that was the true feelings Countess had. There wasn’t even a sibling sort of love or any sense of camaraderie to give them a bond over the years? Everything they had truly meant nothing?

Ben’s eyes darkened and he felt that familiar burning in his chest once more. It was a little less intense then before, but he watched Countess’ eyes widen and she leaned back into the chair as she tried to brace herself. But he was sure nothing could have braced her for a death quite like this.

He released the energy that was building up within him and a blast escaped his chest. Several seconds went by and the light from the energy blast finally dissipated. When he looked in the spot where his former girlfriend sat, he saw nothing but a burnt skeleton in her place. Her home was completely destroyed in the process but of course, it didn’t exactly matter to him.

When he stepped off the remnants of the trailer, he saw some blonde chick staring at him and her eyes started glowing yellow before some lanky looking kid stepped in front of her. He could tell they were starting to have a discussion, and since it didn’t involve him Ben decided to walk away and start his own journey.

As Ben walked, he pulled out the sheet of paper and saw your address. Apparently it’s changed since the last time he saw you. All he knew was that he was one step closer to seeing you again.

“So, Mate. What do you say about that team up?” The man with the accent said and he turned around and stared at him.

“You take me to this address so I know this is really where she is. Then I’ll think about that little favor of yours as far as putting it on my agenda.” Ben said, and luckily for him the two men that were deciding to follow him around for whatever reason knew that this wasn’t up for a negotiation.

Whatever they wanted, they must’ve needed him pretty badly to make sure whatever they were going after gets accomplished.

“Of course. We’ll take you there now. It’s a couple of hours from here though so you’ll be in a cramped car for a while.” The lanky one finally spoke. What did this little kid have anything to do with this?

After a few hours, they pulled up several yards away from some sort of cabin. So this was where you decided to stay? Some cabin in the woods? He supposed it was private enough after all.

While Ben looked out of the window towards the building, he heard Butcher turning in his seat. Ben glanced over and saw that Butcher was handing him yet another sheet of paper. this time it had a phone number on it.

“Take the night to think on it, catch up with that little friend of yours now that you know she’s inside, and call us in the morning.” Ben lifted a brow and took the sheet of paper before he got out of the car. Butcher and Hughie - evidently that was the name of the scrawny kid - backed out and drove off, leaving Ben there.

He started to walk up to your cabin, his heart pounding in his chest and he could even hear it. This felt so surreal and he wasn’t even sure he could knock on the door incase it was just some kind of dream.

As he got closer, Ben realized that you didn’t have any lights on in the house. He carefully walked up to a window and took a look inside. When he did, he caught a glimpse of your little office area. You had a library, he supposed reading could be a good pastime for retirement even if he wasn’t a big reader himself. But what caught his attention was a chest that was sitting beneath your desk.

He could see the top of the chest was open and there were a shit ton of envelopes inside. Who the hell were you supposed to be pen pals with all of this time and who had the time to write like that? He couldn’t be more curious if he tried.

Ben bit his lip as the wheels started turning in his mind as he tried to think of a way to sneak into this room. He reached into his boot and picked up a pocket knife and started to slide it into the window, his attempt to unlock it and let himself in that way. To his surprise, Ben was successful and he opened up the window before proceeding to let himself in. Then he shut the window quietly once more.

When he walked over to the desk and pulled out the chest and set it on top of the desk, he got a closer look at the names on the envelopes. He turned on the lamp on your desk so he could see a bit better and he noticed that every last one of them had his name on them.

“She wrote letters?” He asked himself, mostly in a hushed tone. Then he noticed the fact that each envelope had been dated from 1984 to just this morning.

He took one of the letters and noticed the date as September 19, 2001. One of his birthdays over the years. As he opened it up, he saw your beautiful handwriting and he smiled to himself as he began to read.

Happy birthday my Ben!

Today would be your 82nd birthday. I know I’m not that far behind you. We’re both a couple of oldies, huh? It’s crazy how much times have changed here and I wish I could hear your thoughts on it.

I know for sure you would be opinionated on the attacks on the Twin Towers and the Pentagon couple of days ago. I know you would want to be one of the first ones there to set the terrorists straight. Honestly I think you would hate what this world has come to anyway. You missed out on the Y2K movement at the turn of the millennium. Technology is really advancing and it’s honestly really scary. And we thought Vought’s tech was getting out of hand. People even have little computers they can take into their homes now, phones aren’t attached to the walls anymore like what we had growing up. People can carry their phones in their pockets now. That’s crazy to me!

I miss you so much, Ben. It never gets easier celebrating your birthday since everyone thinks your dead. I know that I should to, but I can’t for whatever reason. There’s a lot of conspiracy theorists that think you’re alive but those are few and far between. Unfortunately not a lot of them know who you are anymore. We have a new generation of supe fans and the old school supes are either dying off or they’re retiring and getting forgotten. The only supe you may recognize that’s active on the field would probably be Black Noir.

But anyway.. Not much is really happening. I’m watching a couple of your old movies today before I might go grocery shopping. Maybe I’ll pick up a few more envelopes. I’m running low on some supplies for these silly letters.

I love you, Ben. You’ll always have my heart.

Your Y/N.

Ben couldn’t help but feel this warmth in his heart, and it wasn’t one of those energy blasts getting ready. He folded up the piece of paper and put it back into the envelope and looked through some more of the envelopes.

Then he pulled another one out, this one was dated for January 19, 2020.

Well, Ben, I think human society will be coming to an end soon.

No it’s not the reason one would think. Apparently this virus called Covid has hit the country and everyone is supposed to be quarantined. It’s not that big of a deal for me because I’m alone anyways. But I was doing some online shopping to stock up on some things and I found out that stores are selling out of toilet paper of all things!

People get too hysterical. But maybe I shouldn’t talk too much about that since I’m a supe and don’t have the luxury of suffering from a virus like that. The people without our abilities and immune systems are suffering a lot though. It’s kind of hard to see the decline of everything.

It’s moments like this where I’m sort of glad that you’re not here to witness this madness. I really hope things will get better though. I don’t know if it will. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.

Y/N

There was even a virus? How bad was that? From what you said in your letter, it sounded like a national problem, maybe even global. Times really had changed a lot and he couldn’t believe just how much he had missed. All of this information just from reading two of your letters.

Honestly, he was glad you wrote these letters. It gave him something he could use to catch up on a lot of things that have happened over these past few decades. What made it even better was that it was from your own point of view. And if he could, Ben would spend all night reading each one of your letters.

It was so thoughtful to know that you did this. That you didn’t give up hope on him and that you would write to him as if he were still there able to read every word.

Just as Ben was about to grab another letter to read, he heard footsteps coming down from the hall and then there was the sound of a switch. When he looked over he saw that there was a hall light on and saw the most beautiful woman in the world standing in the doorway.

You looked just as beautiful as the day he left you for Nicaragua. It was like you hadn’t aged a single day either.

You were standing there in your grey ish silk robe that reached down to the floor. Around your neck he recognized the chain of the necklace he gave you all those years ago. He was amazed that you still wore it around your beautiful little neck. Your hair framed your face perfectly, as if you hadn’t even gone to sleep just yet.

He could see the disbelief in your eyes as he carefully took a step forward towards you.

You stood there completely stunned. You thought you had heard a noise a few minutes ago as you were getting ready to try and sleep but the feeling was too unsettling. You were glad you had gotten out of bed and walked down the hall because when you noticed the light in your office was turned on, you were shocked at who was in front of you.

You swore that your eyes were deceiving you. This had to be some sort of dream. But you don’t remember actually being able to fall asleep that night. But what you believed you were seeing was Ben, alive and well and in his uniform. He looked like he hadn’t aged a day, much like you hadn’t aged.

“Ben? Is… Is that you?” You breathed out as he started to walk towards you.

“It’s really me, Sweetheart.”

Hearing his voice again made your eyes well up with tears. After so many years you never knew when you would possibly be able to hear his voice or even see him again, but Ben was really there standing in front of you! You could hardly believe it!

You ran into his arms and he lifted you up effortlessly and spun you around. Your arms were wrapped around his neck and you buried your face in his neck. His hands were beneath your thighs as he wrapped your legs around his waist to keep you steady but he was able to use one hand to cradle the back of your head. You must’ve been trembling since he started to mutter sweet nothings in your ear.

“It’s really me, Love. I’m not leaving like that ever again. Not for Vought, not for anyone.” He reassured you, but you didn’t really care about that right now. You were too caught up in enjoying his embrace.

You slowly pulled away from his neck so you could get a better look at him. Gently moving a strand of hair away from his face, you admired every little feature of his face. You thought you would never be able to see him again or be this close to him again. As you moved one of your arms to place a hand on his bearded face, you leaned in and gently smashed your lips against his. You hadn’t realized just how many emotions you were holding in at the moment as you felt warm tears streaming down your cheeks. Tears of joy, happiness, so much relief, confusion, and other emotions that you couldn’t exactly describe in that moment.

Ben kissed you back instantly and he could feel one of your hands going to the back of his neck and your fingernails found the bottom of his scalp, the gentle scratch as you ran your fingers through his hair caused a chill shoot through his spine as the kiss started to grow more heated and passionate. He’s longed for this closeness for so long, even before he was shipped out of the country. He’s missed you and everything about you.

The moment your lips parted, Ben instantly wanted more of your kisses but you started to speak again.

“Where’ve you been all this time? How did you make it back?” You asked breathlessly as Ben lifted a hand to wipe the tears from your face.

“I’ll tell you all about it later. I had some business to take care of before I was able to see you.”

“What business was that?”

“Countess…” He trailed off, making you lift a brow. “Originally when I was supposed to come back with the others I was going to break things off with her. Granted it’s several years later but I still needed to have a conversation with her.”

The expression on your face told Ben you must’ve been a little skeptical about the ‘how’ everything transpired and maybe she speculated he had more than just a conversation to end things. But he could always tell you later.

“I promise… I’ll answer any questions you have later. The important thing is, I’m back and I’m here with you again and Countess is permanently out of the picture.” That beautiful smile you had returned on your face and Ben leaned down to kiss you again but you pulled away, confusing Soldier Boy.

“Set me down.” You whispered and got out of his grasp. Then you took his hand, intertwining your fingers with his before Ben realized he was following you through the house and he made it to your bedroom.

Once he was in the room you shut the door and Ben looked down at you. The next thing he knew, Ben was sitting down on the edge of your mattress and he watched you took off your robe. You were wearing just a regular set of pajamas, a loose fitting black silk tank top and some matching shorts to go with it but you were still so unbelievably gorgeous.

He took your hand he gently pulled you close and you sat down, straddling his lap. He could feel your delicate hands on his chest and he lifted a hand to touch your sweet face, letting his thumb gently caress your bottom lip. He could feel how warm your cheeks got at such a simple action, and he lied the way you seemed to react to his touch. Then, Ben leaned in to kiss you once more.

The warmth of his lips sent a fire inside of you as Ben continued to deepen the kiss. You could feel his tongue over your mouth and you parted your lips for him. An involuntary little noise escaped you from his kiss. You started to feel a little light headed with the way he seemed to consume you in the moment.

But the moment Ben parted your lips, he lifted you up and turned the both of you around so you were on your back. The actions caused you to let out a giggle. You didn’t know why you laughed, maybe it was because both of you were eager, maybe it was still the fact that everything was still so surreal for you. Ben didn’t seem to mind the laughter because he was smiling at you when you looked up at him.

You reached up and pulled him down for another kiss and he placed a soft kiss on your lips before he started letting his lips work their way down your neck. You could feel his beard tickling your sensitive skin but you didn’t mind. You closed your eyes and relished in the feeling of his touch as you let your hand go to the back of his head, fingers getting tangled in his hair.

Ben smiled against your skin when he felt your hands in his hair again. He reached down and moved one of your thighs and you instinctively hooked it around his waist as he settled between your legs. Then he let his hand run up your thighs, loving how soft your skin felt beneath his fingertips. He could feel the way your body seemed to grow hot with his touch and he loved it.

But just as things were starting to get good, things were interrupted.

Both you and Ben could hear some sort of ruckus outside and Ben lifted his head from your neck, “Son of a bitch, what the hell is that?”

You were definitely frustrated that you were interrupted too, but you wondered more about what could be outside. How were you found? You had a feeling that whatever was outside couldn’t exactly be good news.

You and Ben both got out of bed and started making your way to the living room and you walked towards one of the windows and you saw Black Noir standing with Queen Maeve. You could faintly hear Queen Maeve talking about something.

“I still don’t get why Homelander wants us to check this out. Is he really that paranoid about Starlight? They’re supposed to be the world’s number one couple aren’t they?” You could hear Maeve say, but not to anyone’s surprise Noir didn’t answer.

Still, it was enough for your eyes to widen. Homelander and the Seven knew where you were now? Why the hell did they come to your door? How did you get wrapped up this mess? Just by some sort of minor association with that Butcher fellow and his little group?

“Noir…” You heard Ben speak.

When you looked over at him, you could tell he was angry. What the hell happened in Nicaragua? You turned to him and put a hand on his chest.

“They can’t possibly know you’re alive. They want me because of some group that stopped by a few days ago. Just stay here before you get yourself in trouble again.” You pleaded.

“You don’t understand. Noir was a part of it some how. I need to go out there and-“

“Ben, I don’t know what you’re planning. I don’t know how you plan on doing it. But you need to do things right and right now that means listening to me before you wind up somewhere that you don’t need to be. I’m not losing you for another several decades.”

Ben’s jaw tightened and he hated when you got stubborn like this. But you were right. He supposed the logical thing to do at the moment was lie low before he found out where the rest of his former teammates resided. And Butcher… maybe he knew more than he was leading on.

Before Ben knew it, you were walking out your front door to confront the two supes.

“Hi there. Is there something the two of you need this late at night?” You asked, not really that scared to face them head on. If it was just a conversation, you could handle it.

“O-Oh. Quake. We didn’t realize that you were still awake.” Queen Maeve said, almost like a teen who’s plans to sneak out got foiled.

“Yeah, you both are interrupting a good book I was reading before I was alerted you were out here. Now what do you want?”

“Noir and I just wanted to know if you were visited by a man named William Butcher and his friends, and if you happened to know anything about Soldier Boy.”

“Soldier Boy’s dead, remember? You know just about as much as I do.” You said, crossing your arms.

“Quake, we know Starlight found your address. There was an explosion where Crimson Countess lived and when servailence was checked, it caused us to have the belief that Soldier Boy is alive. We have reason to believe he may be here and we just want to talk to him.” Queen Maeve said and your eyes darkened.

You knew Starlight was sweet and all when she sent you that photo of Ben, but you should have known she was naive and she’d get caught eventually.

“I told you, I don’t know anything. Now I think you should leave.” You said, your tone growing more stern.

“We just need to see if Soldier Boy is here then we’ll get out of your hair.”

You rolled your eyes, knowing that both of them were unwilling to listen, then you raised your hand forward. The earth beneath you began to shake and then, from the ground, rose a wall of rock and dirt. You made a pushing motion with your hand and the wall went forward, pushing Queen Maeve and Black Noir back until they hit a couple of trees in the woods.

You were just glad you had plenty of acreage with nothing on it so you could use the ground as much as you needed to for self defense.

Anyway, you raised your hands again and took the patch of ground that Black Noir and Queen Maeve were on, lifting both of them up on their own personal island before you practically flung them several miles back from where they came from.

After all, they’re supers. They’ve survived worse. You just wanted them away from your home, not dead.

You shut the door behind you and walked past Ben who must’ve seen the whole thing through the window.

“Why’d you through them across all creation like that?” He asked, trying to joke with you, but you weren’t exactly in the joking mood anymore.

“What the hell did you do to Countess? They said there was some kind of explosions? They want to know where you are and now they may want to kill you.” You said as you started looking for your suitcases.

Ben sighed for a moment before he started telling you everything from his point of view.

“Countess and my team members stabbed me in the back. They tried to get me killed and the Russians took me. They were trying to figure out what could kill me and somehow in the process, I got new abilities that results in these energy blasts like the explosion at Countess’ place. She’s dead.”

“Holy-fucking-Hell, Ben! You can’t just go and blow people up like that! Do you realize that there’s cameras practically all over the place? No wonder they found you!” You exclaimed as you started packing up your things.

“Look, I’m still new to this whole technology-is-everywhere concept, alright? She lived in a damned trailer, I didn’t think it would get that much attention.” He told you and you sighed.

“Why are you packing up everything?” Ben asked you as he watched you moving about.

“Because my house is known to Vought now? And since I was uncooperative with those two supes, it’s only a matter of time before Homelander tries to take a shot at me and I don’t feel like dealing with his bullshit. I’ve got to figure out some other place to go. Not to mention the fact that I helped out Grace whenever I retired. She doesn’t have a good reputation with them either. They know William Butcher and his friends came to my house asking some questions because I think they want to take down Homelander once and for all, naturally Vought’s not going to like that. I’ll have to go into hiding all over again until I figure out where to go.”

Ben frowned at the way you were rambling but he supposed he could understand where you’re coming from. He watched you head to your office to grab something before he reached out and took your arm to get you to stop moving around so frantically.

“Hey, it’ll be okay. Haven’t I always made sure you were safe from Vought after your little endeavors in retirement?” He reminded you and you let out a sigh as he pulled you into his embrace. He laid his head on top of yours, hating that you were suddenly stressed out about this mess.

“You did…”

“And what makes you think I won’t help you now? That William Butcher guy, he came to me wanting my help. He was the one that basically put Countess on a silver platter for me and he lead me to you. He probably wants the same things you do.” He said.

“Let me call Butcher. If he’s really as much trouble as this Homelander guy as you say he is, and he still hasn’t gotten caught? Maybe I can do that little favor he needs me to and we’ll figure out a plan from there.” He insisted.

“I don’t know.. what if the supes take you again or if someone double crosses you?”

“I’ll just have to kill them before they can try.”

“That’s really not comforting…”

Ben smiled a little before he placed a kiss on the top of your head, “Nothing’s going to happen to me. Once we get everything we need to settles, you and I can find some place to go. Hell we can travel out of the country if we wanted to and find some nice place to spend the rest of our lives.”

“That’s… a little bit better I guess. Gives me something positive to think about.”

“That’s better… now, why don’t I make a call to Butcher then we can get whatever you need all packed.” He insisted and you nodded against his chest.

“Ben?”

“Yes, Sweetheart?”

“I’ve missed you. Really missed you.”

Ben lifted his head from the hop of yours and he looked down at you. He could see so much worry on your face after everything that’s just happened. It was such a contrast from how happy you were moments ago and he hated how quickly things seemed to change.

“I’ve missed you too, Sweetheart. I promise, I won’t let anything happen to you.”

You smiled softly before you carefully pulled him down by the neck and planted a soft little kiss on his lips before pulling away from his embrace.

“Give Butcher a call. We may not have that much time.”

Thank you all so much for reading! I hope you all enjoyed part three of this story! There will be more to come soon 🥰

Tag List:

@deans-spinster-witch @roseblue373 @fanfic-n-tabulous @chriszgirl92 @hobby27 @nancymcl @globetrotter28 @jackles010378 @capricxnt @k-slla @angelbabyyy99 @david-tennant-obsessed-blog @deangirl96

[stone-stars]

i am simply having a lot of feelings about beverly choosing to be a hero because moonshine answered when he reached out and was in need

Transcript:

[Unknown Tome plays in the background.] Bev Sr.: [yelling] I'll tell ya what to do, Bev. Ya turn around, and ya face Thiala. The one who took our home from us. Pick a side, Beverly. Beverly: [softly] … Yes sir. Murph: Um, he holds his hand out to you. Caldwell: I start walking. Uh, and as I'm walking I-- I try to reach out to the spores. I try to reach out to the amulet. I just try to reach out to anything that isn't this. That isn't this duty. That I've always felt deep down. Murph: Moonshine, you feel Beverly in this moment. [Moonshine gasps] Just-- it's faint, it's far away. Beverly: [voice breaking] I don't want to go. I don't wanna go, but I have to. It's my duty. I have to do this! Moonshine: Okay, youngin, I want you to know, I will love you whatever you choose to do. But, here's my two cents. [Unknown Tome fades out.] Moonshine: A child has a duty to his father. [The Blows of a Friend, And Not a Foe plays] Bev Sr: Thanks, Bev. I always-- I knew I could make the deal ‘cause I-- I knew you’d stop me. Moonshine: But a hero has a duty to the world. [Fabric of Fate plays] Melora: Beverly? Beverly: Yes? Melora: I wish you could grow up in a normal world, but the Gods have not blessed you with a normal life. You are afflicted with duty, things thrust upon you far beyond your years. The world should have protected you, but you have been asked to protect it. What an honor, what an injustice. Moonshine: Now, I’ve got my opinion of which you are. [The Writing on the Wall plays] Murph: And you begin to make out what they’re saying. They’re all saying different versions of the same thing. You hear old people, young people, children: Different voices, in prayer: Please, please let my family be safe. I don’t want to die. Give them strength. God bless our Titans in our hour of need. Protect us, Titans! Murph: You realize that these are prayers about you, or to you, by people around Bahumia. You see that the glowing script on the walls begins to make sense to you. The writing is constantly changing to match the words of these prayers depending on what language they’re speaking. And all signs point to this being the way to the Court of Gods. It would make sense that Gods would hear the pleas of their people as they went in to decide their fate. And here you, having a piece of this divine heart, are able to hear the people around Bahumia and their faith in you. [The Bahumia Theme replaces The Writing on the Wall] Moonshine: But it’s time for you to decide. Beverly: [tearful] Where would I be without the wisdom of the crick. [Moonshine gasps. They both laugh softly.] Moonshine: [also tearful] Where would I be without Pelor's light? Beverly: Deeper in hell than we already are, that's for sure. Moonshine: That's for sure. Caldwell: I nod to myself. I stop walking. [The Writing on the Wall returns] Caldwell: Can we write back? Murph: What do you write on the wall? Beverly: We are here. We are here for you. Murph: You feel an overwhelming sense of relief. What you have just done is essentially somebody praying to god, and god coming back and being like "I’m- I’m here." You hear the whispers come back in your head: Different voices: Oh, thank the gods. Thank you, Titans. Thank you! Protect us. We have faith in you!

[incorrect-riordanverse]

finally reading tsats here are my live thoughts (spoilers, obviously):

i’m so excited because some pages are darkly decorated and its so cool. still don’t vibe with the title though (the sun IS a star and its peeving me)

why are we talking about dating darth vader 😟 where are we rn (anakin is a yes, but DARTH VADER???)

maybe i’m too old but the jokes are not funny 😭

“this whole place feels like my soul. empty and dark. dark as the pit of the underworld.” <- i don’t care if he’s joking nico would never say thissss 🙏😭 we’re only 10 pages in but please stop butchering my fav character he’s not himselffff i am cringing so bad

i know i’m being dramatic but if they do nico dirty in this book i’m going to end it all

oh my god i don’t think i’ve thought about the words “significant annoyance” in so long. bringing back good memories for sure.

i can tell which parts were written by riordan and which parts were written by oshiro. i don’t think their voices are blending very well together…

also, maybe it’s because it’s the start of the book and they’re trying to familiarise new readers quickly with the characters but it feels like they’re making nico the caricature of ‘emo and shadow and ebony darkness dementia raven way 🥀⛓️🖤’ and will the caricature of ‘happy and sunshine and blonde and flower gleam and glow ☀️🌈🫧’ and i usually like this dynamic when it’s not blatantly pointed out every other page. i have faith they’ll show more complexity than this later on though. future yan will let me know by the end. (future yan here, im not at the end but the characterisation def does get more complex thank gods)

oh ok so it is bob the titan

since when was nico’s actual name niccolo??? how did i forget this detail??

“you have to listen if not you’ll share my fate.” “ominous much?” <- ok he’s finally himself again guys it’s all good

the one-sided beef nico has with percy will never not be funny

“cookie monster appeared over the mouth of the jar, reached inside and gobbled up nico like the chocolate-chip cookie he was.” <- nevermind i’ve gone back to hating this book again

“what was one straight boy when you spent your whole life longing for the impossible?” <- i’m reminded of that time a few years back where everyone made ‘having an unrequited crush on percy’ nico’s whole fanon personality, so i’m glad they addressed this somewhat. this boy has been through so much and people really thought crushing on percy was the biggest thing to focus on about ‘nico angst.’

“we made a mistake. you have to fix it.” <- call me a red flag but if i was nico i would do anything and everything to not go. i would medicate myself so highly on sleeping pills that i can’t dream (doctor bf can go kick rocks). i would track percy and annabeth down and haul their asses into tartarus instead to do it. and if i had to go i would only go in to kill bob myself for sending me those traumatic ass nightmares. no thx. bro willingly jumped in himself and now wants me to save him. nuh uh.

not cupid being will 😭 its like his aphrodite 😭 i am not well.

they always have a really good and emotionally moving scene and they ruin it with a dumb joke. let it be heavy 👏👏

something’s really fishy and i have a feeling that it might not be bob calling for him

if this whole “grumpy ball of darkness” thing continues i will actually lose it

you can’t tell me the percabeth pep talk was actually needed. i will forgive it because i miss them though

im sensing tension in the gap between nico’s connection to the underworld and his relationship with will and i’m here for ittttt. give me the dramaaa

who is the gorgyra girl and why is she in their business sm?

oh shit a will solace pov??? christmas came early 🙏

nevermind that whole nightmare sequence was so fucked up 😭😭

somebody HELP HIM i never thought we would get will angst (nico angst fs, but will???)

DONT JUMP IN THE STYX PLEASE

SOMEBODY TELL HIM HE’S HELPFUL OMG

nico strangling epiales in his sleep is so fucking cool he’s literally HIM he’s literally THAT GUY

[nightshadow1607]

Immortal Izuku: What’s up guys? I’m back.

Shinsou: What the- you can’t be here. You’re dead. I literally saw you die.

Immortal Izuku: Death is a social construct.

--

Aizawa: I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so let’s go for 12 more just in case.

Hizashi: Shou, that's a coma.

Aizawa: Sounds festive.

--

Vigilante Shinsou: Are you sure this is the right direction?

Informant Kaminari: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest!

Vigilante Izuku: In that case, we're definitely lost.

--

Vigilante Izuku: I was arrested for being too cool.

Shinsou: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

--

Feral Izuku: Just because I'm too short to reach the lowest self in the cabinet doesn't mean you shouldn't watch out for your kneecaps.

--

Shinsou: With great power comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.

--

Aizawa: I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck

--

Izuku, holding a python: I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him

Hizashi, in the verge of a heart attack: You did WHAT–

Shinsou: William Snakepeare

--

Izuku: Jail is no fun. I’ll tell you that much.

Aizawa: Oh, you’ve been?

Izuku: Once. In Monopoly.

--

Shinsou: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.

Aizawa: You're like 15 years old

Shinsou: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!

--

*Izuku and Shinsou are doing something absurdly dangerous*

Vigilante Izuku: I think Houdini did something like this once! Why, if I recall correctly, he was out of the hospital in no time!

Vigilante Shinsou, deadpan: Well that's encouraging.

--

Izuku: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.

Bakugou: Deku, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.

--

Kirishima: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death?

Tokoyami: How am I supposed to know?

Kaminari: You say, as if we don’t use you as a source of knowledge of the occult.

Tokoyami: *sighs*

Tokoyami: You wouldn't be trapped.

--

Spinner: What do you think Dabi will do for a distraction?

Mr. Compress: They’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.

*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*

Mr. Compress: ... or they could do that.

--

Izuku: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.

Shinsou: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

--

Quirkless Izuku: I’m going to defeat you with the power of friendship! ... And this knife I found.

--

Uraraka: What do you call a fish with no eye?

Iida, not looking up: Astyanax mexicanus

Uaraka: 

Uraraka: fsh

--

*Shinsou and Izuku sitting in jail together*

Vigilante Izuku: So who should we call?

Vigilante Shinsou: I’d call Aizawa, but I feel safer in jail

incorrect quotes because why not? (part 5)

[crazy4myself]

No Harm List | Pt. 14

Word count: 5.5k ish

Warnings: explicit language, violence, sexual themes

Summary: You live in a city where crime runs rampant. One day, you save a young boy’s life, not knowing that he is the most powerful crime lord's heir. And you have just been put on the no harm list.

—------

A/N: Hiii lovelies I know it had been literal years since I’ve properly updated. To avoid confusion you may want to go back a few chapters to refresh; I recommend part 12. Also some of the next few chapters may look familiar bc I re-wrote them. But I think you will like this version much better :)

“Why did you avoid me after we kissed?” you asked again, your voice clear. You did not make yourself elaborate. You didn’t tell him how you’ve felt lost and helpless these weeks. And if you could take it back, you would. But if you were honest with yourself, no part of you really wanted to.

You just looked at him expectantly and watched him squirm in the silence. “Because.. I’m a coward,” he offered, looking down at his hands.

Your silence was loud in the air between you, pressuring him to keep talking, “I was scared because BTS has already put you in so much danger already. I mean, we're not even dating, and you were basically held hostage.”

“Don’t pin this on me.” you cut him off. You knew it was a valid point, but it wasn’t his only reason for not talking to you. “Whether or not I endanger myself to date you is a decision for us to make. Why did you avoid me?” you asked again.

“I was scared. I was scared it was an impulsive or pity kiss after being shot. I was scared you didn’t have feelings for me, so I avoided the rejection.”

You quirked a brow in disbelief. Oh, sure, he was scared of you rejecting him. “It’s true!” he insisted.

“And I don’t even know if I could date you,” he added, and you felt a part of your chest ache at the confession.

“I don’t know if I'm capable of dating with my lifestyle. It's not only a safety hazard, but I don't know if I’m capable of giving you any more of myself than I already have. I think about you all the time. And I love spending time with you. But our friendship, where we were before that kiss, it’s all I know how to give people.”

He turned to you, eyes searching your face for any signs of hurt or betrayal, but he couldn’t read your expression as you quietly whispered, “And what if I told you that’s enough?”

Jungkook parted his lips but was at a loss for words.

“I’ve never really dated,” you explained, “And I don't think I know how to. And school is so stressful, and the program is only going to get more complex. I’m not sure I have time to learn and figure out the ‘right’ way to do it.” You paused as you saw his eyebrows furrow in confusion, and you realized how contradictory you were sounding.

“I like you, Jungkook. I like what we have, and I liked kissing you. But before now, I didn’t think I could date you. Not because of the whole ‘gang’ thing. But because I think-” your voice cracked, “I think something in me broke when I lost Daewon. I never,” You paused to swallow.

“I will never let anyone in like that again because it hurt so bad when I lost her. And we weren’t even together romantically. So, imagine how bad it would hurt to lose a partner?” a hot tear rolled down your cheek, and Jungkook reached up to wipe it. You leaned into the comforting heat of his touch as his callused thumb rubbed soothingly on your cheek.

“What I’m trying to say is we both clearly have boundaries and walls. And we both suck at keeping the other out of some of them. So what if we loved eachother in whatever fucked up way we know how and at least reap the benefits of having shitty partners?” You offered with a hesitant smile.

“The benefits being?” Jungkook asked with a quirked brow.

Mischief glinted in your eyes as you smiled at him before lifting onto your knees and crawling towards him on the couch. Jungkook knew this conversation wasn’t over. He knew he should stop you and assure you that nothing about you was broken for being cautious about who you loved. He wanted to tell you that you were good and kind and would make an incredible partner in any capacity, and he was worried he wouldn’t deserve what you were willing to give. But his mind went blank as you inched so close that he could feel your breath against his face as you murmured, “I can think of a few.”

You moved confidently but still grazed your lips against his in the softest touch as if asking for permission.

Jungkook leaned forward, capturing you in the kiss and pulling you into his lap. It was just as hungry as last time, as if he had been waiting to taste you again. Jungkook felt his body come alight at the joy of feeling you pressed against him. His hands rubbed eagerly against your thighs before wandering up your sides, your arms, and your shoulders as he took all of you in.

The touch wasn’t as much for pleasure as it was a claiming. But still, you skin tingled in response. A trail of goosebumps rose in the wake of every brush of his callused hands.

Finally, you broke the kiss to catch your breath. Pressing your forehead against his, you both smiled like idiots as you took eachother in.

Jungkook leaned in to kiss you again, softer this time. As if the raw desperation passed, he would savor every second now that he had you. His hands were firmly on your waist, and his thumbs rubbed in a soothing motion, lower, and lower as they crept under the hem of your shirt.

You felt core core turning molten and couldn’t reflect back on the last time you had been with someone in this way.

Jungkook’s mouth was hot against your neck, trailing down from behind your ear lower and lower, looking for the spot that made-

You gasped and arched against him in pleasure, your chest pressing harder against his.

There it was, his mind thought in primal satisfaction, as he bit down right above your pulse point, making you writhe against him further. He had been replaying the sounds you made during your last kiss in his head an embarrassing number of nights he was alone. He wanted to map your body right now and learn every spot that made you sigh and moan for him. His hands had migrated further up your ribcage, your skin flushing hot beneath his touch as his thumbs swiped just below your bra.

He was about to reach around to unclasp it when a cough from the kitchen cut his ministrations short. You both turned in shock to see Yoongi placing an expresso pod in the coffee machine.

“J-Hope is in the garage you might wanna,” he waved his hand in the air in a vague gesture to separate. “Or don’t,” he said with a shrug, “I think his reaction would be funny.”

You were scrambling off Jungkook's lap and shoving a pillow between the two of you. Your lips were swollen and bruised from the kiss. You straightened your shirt, which was more rumpled from your earlier fight than anything, and placed a pillow between the two of you as if to protect your chastity with seconds to spare before the sound of Hoseok’s footsteps echoed from the garage. You locked eyes with him as soon as he made it in the entryway. You could feel the anger radiating off of him as he entered the room.

“What happened?” He demanded.

Jungkook calmed his breathing, grabbing the pillow barrier to instead place on his lap as he reminded himself that the bakery was attacked. Hoseok had no clue that Jungkook was just kissing his best friend and that he was not in danger.

“Hobi!” you were up in an instant, ignoring his foul temper as you wrapped your arms around him.

He caught your embrace effortlessly, his eyes tracking you and then noting Jungkook and his new emotional support pillow as he squeezed you tightly before letting you step back.

“Are you okay?” you both ask in unison before cracking a smile.

“I’m fine I just had to lay low. What happened at the bakery tonight?” Hoseok pushed.

Your smile faltered for a moment. “There was an ambush, they didn’t touch me. I can’t say the same for them, but they’ll be fine.” you started.

Hoseok’s brow rose at your implication, “You took out four of the Black Tips best men?” he asked. He didn’t sound disbelieving, he sounded… impressed and maybe a little proud.

“Only two, and I wouldn’t call them the best. Why are you here if you’re in hiding?” you asked, ignoring the way his approval warmed you chest. “And why were you in hiding? And when did you dye your hair?” you pushed. Reaching up to touch the murky black locks. It was obviously box-dyed and barely covered the bright red it was days earlier.

Hoseok smiled tight-lipped before moving to the couch, “I’ll tell my story if you promise to tell yours when Jin and RM get back.” He offered.

You refrained from pointing out that the reason you were at the Den in the first place was to do exactly that. You were too eager to get some answers from Hoseok. Who quickly filled you in on the details of the fake assassination attempt that ended in a not-so-fake assassination charge. That led to Hoseok and Yoongi hiding out in some shitty safe house an hour outside the city, living off Raman noodles and re-dying their hair to more subtle colors.

By time Hoseok had finished, the other members of BTS began filing in. Hoseok told you they had only been called out of hiding so Yoongi could manage the video footage of the bakery and nearby security cameras for the police department and insurance claims. Jin wanted to edit out any evidence of a gang-related interrogation, or else their relationship was going to get a lot more complicated with the local authorities.

But apparently, there was no need. Yoongi was fuming when he returned from his office, informing the others that while the security cameras were able to stream live footage to their system, the memory had been wiped from BTS’s computers.

He still had to cover their tracks of abducting the Black Tips on any city cameras. But otherwise the gang was relying on you as the sole witness to the night's events.

Well, you and the four Black Tip members who attacked you. The men were currently stored away in a safe house under the greenhouse on the Den’s property. But with the excessive exposure to Jimin’s smoke, there was a chance their memories would be unreliable, if not nonexistent.

Jimin couldn’t even estimate a wake time for the men due to the level of gas they inhaled. It could be days before anyone could get answers out of them.

When Jin and Jimin finally returned from filing their reports to the authorities, everyone settled in the living room to hear your account. You recalled the night's events as detailed as possible, telling them how the man in the suit tried to buy your loyalty from BTS and describing him to the best of your ability.

To your relief, they all listened quietly while you spoke, and when you were done, it was V who helped you fill in any gaps you may have missed by prompting you with questions. His presence was steady and soothing, and you realized he was giving you a glimpse of the spider at work. The others didn’t dare interrupt him or ask their own questions, they trusted him to gather every drop of information.

What did the man in the suite look like?

Did he ask about BTS’s current movements?

What ‘sins against the city’ did he want to hold BTS responsible for?

What information did he want you to report back?

You didn’t have any answers to half of those questions, confessing you spent most of your time stalling and trying to get the man to reveal why he was bribing you of all people. You were convinced at the time that the alarm had alerted BTS of your situation and that they would arrive at any minute. The thought of the man getting away didn’t seem like a possibility.

And a small part of you, despite promising yourself you owed BTS nothing outside of your contract, couldn’t help but feel like this oversight was a failure on your part. Somehow, you let the gang down.

Jin clarified that the alarm had been disabled along with the cameras hours prior to the break-in. It was by luck and V’s intel that they managed to get to you when you did.

“And isn't that a big fucking problem?” Hoseok growled, unable to stay quiet any longer.

He stepped forward, glaring in Jin and Jimin’s direction, “Do you realize how irresponsible it was to schedule her on a closing shift alone.” He accused.

“Hobi, it’s fine I worked late all the time at my last job,” you started trying to diffuse the situation.

Everyone in the room refrained from pointing out how well that had gone for you.

“No, it’s not fine. This isn’t like your other job. What if they tried to get information from her at that moment, and she had nothing to give? What if V didn’t call in time? There are a thousand different ways this could have gone wrong. She is not a member of this gang,” Hoseok snapped.

You flinched slightly at his tone.

“She doesn’t have the tattoo. Debt and favors aside, she should not be this deep in BTS’s affairs. She should not be alone in our businesses. That bakery is a cover for Jimin’s lab and loitering drug money. Why the hell would you think it okay to leave her alone there?” He continued.

Jin’s face was like a stone as Hoseok lectured him, not wanting his own emotions to invalidate his brothers. “You're right.” Jin agreed, and you could see the full weight of tonight's events take a toll on him as his shoulders sagged and he turned to you with guilt in his eyes.

“I’m so sorry I put you in danger, Ella. We will never let it happen again.” Jin promised his voice was soft but earnest.

“It sure as hell won’t because she’s not working for you anymore.” Hoseok snapped.

“That's not your call to make,” you argued.

Hoseok turned to you, frustration evident on his face, “Do not fight me on this. You know tonight was too dangerous.”

“She was the dangerous part of tonight. She was fine.” Jungkook pushed, standing next to you.

“Stay out of this!” You and Hoseok snapped in unison.

Jungkook’s face puckered like he tasted something sour, but he sat back on the couch's arm.

“Tonight, you were lucky that man wanted you alive. He could change his mind at any point why can’t you see the danger in that.”

“I'm bound by contract to keep working off my debt,” you argued as you turned to RM for backup.

RM crossed his arms, taking in you and Hoseok as he contemplated his response.

“Blood debt runs deeper than civil law,” Hoseok said before his leader could voice his opinion. And a tense stillness fell across the room.

“Have you forgotten she’s on the No Harm List? That we are supposed to be willing to die for her.” he pushed. The whole gang's demeanor changed at the reminder Jimin downcast his gaze as his shame sank into his gut.

“I don’t want that,” you pushed, horrified, “Take me off the list I don’t - I did not ever want that.”

“Daewon, please, why won’t you let me protect you!”

The room fell quiet as his sister's name echoed through the room.

Your chest ached as understanding settled in, “Oh, Hobie,” you sighed.

“We’ll take a vote,” RM ordered, unable to stand another minute of this fighting. “We have damage control to take care of, and everyone is tired. We meet first thing, and we will decide as a team what we should do about Ella.”

Hoseok’s smile was mirthless at his boss’s half-ass attempt to placate him. “See you bright in early,” he said with a salute before turning for the garage.

You stared after your best friend, hesitant to follow him. “And do I get a say in that decision?” you asked RM softly.

RM sighed, “Your opinion will be considered when we vote. You will have full control over how we go about re-negotiating your contract if it comes to it.”

Assuming that was the best you could get, you sighed, eyes flicking over to Yoongi who flanked RM’s left, his arms crossed and his expression stoic.

“I guess I’ll go catch up with Hobi,” you offered hesitantly, not knowing what to do. Yoongi met your eyes but said nothing. Taking Yoongi’s silence as his answer, you squeezed Jungkook’s hand in a silent farewell before you followed Hoseok to the garage.

Hoseok kept his eyes forward as you approached his vehicle. He was sitting in his Porsche the engine purred a soft accompaniment to the rhythmic thump of his music.

“Can I catch a ride?” you asked, already settling into the passenger's seat and buckling before he could give an empty “Sure.” in response.

You didn’t ask where he was taking you as he sped out of the Den’s parking lot and into the streets of the seventh ward. His options were limited if he was still a wanted man, and you figured you would end up at your apartment by the end of the night.

“We need to pick up another box of hair dye. Whoever did yours did a shitty job,” you said, reaching to run your fingers through his hair.

The unique thing about your friendship with Hoseok was you two were forced to mourn together when you were getting close. Meaning you both had a talent for ignoring the elephant in the room and settling into a normal life where you talked around the big issue.

It wasn’t always healthy to ignore your problems like that. But for you and Hoseok, it worked. After big changes like this, you both had a habit of turning off your feelings for a while and giving each other space and time to process instead of forcing each other to talk about an issue before you were ready.

It’s what you did with Daewon’s death. It’s what he did for you when you first found out about BTS.

So tonight, you could make space for him. The two of you could go through the rest of the night without talking about the bakery or BTS at all if he didn’t want to.

You glanced out the window, realizing what street he was turning on.

“We’re going to see Dae?” you asked, surprised as he pulled to the side of the road outside the city’s botanical garden. The gardens were closed, which was no surprise considering it was close to one in the morning. But that was never a problem in the past.

“We didn’t visit her on her anniversary this year,” Hoseok said simply.

You both visited separately, though you wouldn’t point it out. At the time of Dae’s anniversary, you were still giving him the silent treatment for lying to you about BTS. You had visited Daewon’s grave on your own and saw that it had already been cleaned, and her favorite flowers decorated the small plot, meaning Hoseok had already beat you there.

At the time, you had felt guilty for the relief you felt in your chest. Visiting her that day came with the fear that you and Hoseok would cross paths before you were ready to face him. And you think Dae would have been disappointed to see the two of you arguing on top of her grave.

Because of that, neither of you had gone through with your tradition of robbing the botanical gardens.

Your freshmen year of college was filled with many adventures since moving to Alcor was still a novel experience, but it also came with many nights of being homesick. While Gautier was technically a territory of Kros, the country Alcor resides in, the cultures were very different. And the climate was shockingly different in the cold and wet port city where the smell of sea salt was on the breeze, you missed the clean and fresh scent of blooming heathers and rosemary in the spring, and the taste of sweet figs right off the tree in the summer time.

One night, when you were suffering from a rather nasty bout of homesickness, Daewon took you to the botanical gardens and taught you how to break in at night. At the back of the property, a mighty magnolia tree bloomed outside the garden's fence. It was almost too easy to scale the tree’s sturdy branches and dismount on the other side of the garden. The fences were lined with countless bamboo trellises fortified with different vine plants, making for an easy escape anywhere inside the garden.

You remember how your heart fluttered the first night the two of you broke in. You had to make an effort to hold in your nervous giggle as you scaled the magnolia tree and landed on the mossy lawn of the prehistoric trail, which was lined with ZZ plants and ferns with curling fronds. Sneaking your way through the trail and across the lawn of irsis leads you past the desert exhibit and to a greenhouse that honored the terrain of the eastern colony you called home.

The air was warm but much dryer thanks to the special ventilation system, but despite the heavy humidity missing from the air, the small shrub like plants thrived in the rocky soil, filling the air with the fragrant and aromatic scent of rosemary, lavender, and heathers.

You remember how a knot built in the back of your throat as you ran your fingers over the woody rosemary bush, taking in the earthy pine-like scent. Dae sat with you and listened to you go on about your childhood home for hours.

The giant rosemary bushes that were planted around your house were a staple in your kitchen and bathroom growing up. Your mother was always placing sprigs in her hair products, using it as her own perfume.

You told her the story of how your dad always tried to recreate your mother's french toast recipe on your birthday, but he always forgot to sweeten it so it just tasted like egg bread.

You told her stories of how your father courted your stepmom and how you watched them fall in love again, and build a new family together. One you didn’t fit into as snuggly, not for lack of love in your home, but because you were so much older than your siblings and you had your own dreams and life you were ready to find in Alcor.

Dae held you when you cried, then jokingly played the national anthem to Gautier on her cell phone. You guys laughed and danced around the greenhouse as she struggled to keep up with the lyrics.

The memory brought warmth to your chest years later, just like all the other memories with Daewon. But beneath the warmth, a sharp ache still lingered. Daewon wasn’t perfect by any means; she had a temper like her brother, and she could brood like no other.

But she was good. Daewon was good and fun and she loved so fiercely and encouraged and celebrated her friends. She was the type of person to buy you an ice cream after you failed a test and a cake if you passed.

She was the first person to encourage and support you in your adult life, even in scandalous situations like bringing you a spare set of clothes to the frat house so your walk of shame was a bit less shameful the next morning.

“God I miss her,” you sighed as you approached the magnolia.

“Me too. Every day.” Hoseok agreed quietly as he watched you scale the branches.

He was a worry wort and always made you go first in case you slipped.

“Did Daeown ever know? About BTS?” you asked curiously as both climbed higher in the magnolia tree.

“She knew some of it, like selling the spare car parts, and she could obviously guess some more once I got the tattoo, but she didn’t know everything.” He offered as you reached the branch just past the tall fence that protected the gardens.

‘She didn’t know I shot people,’ she could almost hear Hoseok say.

You ducked low as you approached the branch that led into the garden. Grabbing onto the limb above you to balance yourself, you carefully made your way forward as the branch dipped under your weight.

“Careful,” Hoseok warned.

“Whatever,” you said, rolling your eyes as you let go of the limb stabling you, tightening your core as you jumped from the tree. It was less than a 5-foot drop, but you kept your knees bent as you landed, feeling the impact reverberate back into your legs. You hissed as the pins and needles feeling swarmed the balls of your feet.

“You gotta tuck and roll,” Hosek laughed as you wattled out of his way.

You watched as he lowered himself on the branch the muscles in his body tensed before he sprung forward, extending his legs with his knees still slightly bent.

You sometimes forget the athleticism Hoseok hones in his body. You take for granted how smooth and precise his movements are. It was something you still couldn't quite replicate when you trained with Jungkook. But as you admired your friend, you wondered if he was responsible for training Jungkook to master his own smooth agility.

As his feet touched the ground, he pushed his momentum forward, curling into a ball and rolling across the grass.

“Ow fuck!” he exclaimed as he backrolled over a raised root of a nearby tree.

“And that's why I don’t tuck and roll,” you teased, walking towards him, the ach in your legs nearly forgotten.

You wandered out of the exhibit and towards the iris lawn. Dae’s favorite flowers were blue irises. She used to always pick a few of the flowers any time they visited the garden and keep a vase of them in the dorm room.

“You know they’re bulbed plants one day, we can go to the store and get our own,” Hoseok suggested.

“It’s not the same she says they smell better when they’re picked from the garden here,” you insisted.

“It’s not like she’ll be smelling these,” Hoseok grumbled under his breath but obliged when you held out your hand for his pocket knife.

The theft was quick and efficient. You cut loose five of the flower's long stems and returned back to the fence. Taking care that the flowers were unharmed as you shimmied up one of the trellises.

You were both back in the car within 15 minutes and driving down the road to her grave. The visit was a quiet one. Not tearful like in years past, and for a moment as the two of you kneeled and placed the flowers against the tombstone, you didn’t know if either of you were going to speak at all.

“Do you think you’ll ever leave the city,” Hoseok asked quietly.

You looked at him, startled, “You know my dream is to be a travel doctor,” you replied.

“Is that still your dream?” He asked.

You were quiet for a moment, your eyes searching his face for any indication of where he was going with this.

“Y/N, you were determined once. Focused. You lived and sacrificed for that dream and would never jeopardize it. And lately, you’ve-” You closed your eyes as you caught on to his intentions.

“Continued to sacrifice for it,” you interrupted him, “everything I’ve done, the debt I have isn’t so I can play gangster. It’s so I can finish school. The moment I graduate and the moment I pay off my debt, I’m leaving the city.” You assured.

“You could leave now,” he urged.

“Take a residency somewhere I know your grades are good enough for that accelerated program.”

“I can’t run out on my debt. They will find me.” You hissed.

“They won’t. Jungkook will pull RM off your trail, and they can’t send me after you. I would go with you. You’re the only family I have.” Hoseok pushed his voice urgent, “Things are getting bad. There’s a turf war brewing, and the Black Tips aren’t working alone. I don’t think that man who came after you tonight is from the west side. If power players from the East are involved, this whole city will go to shit. This isn’t a petty fight; people will die. The inner circle and whoever is affiliated with them will have a target on their back.”

“What about Yoongi?” You asked.

Your question was double-sided. You knew about Hoseok’s feelings for him and his unwillingness to move on from him over the years. Hoseok was always privet with the gang side of his life, but even before you knew of BTS, you knew of Yoongi and the web of feelings he carried with him. And you also knew of the second's ability to track down and find anyone. If RM wanted either of you dead, Yoongi would find you in a heartbeat and probably had the skill set to dispose of you himself, too.

Hoseok's eyes downcast “He would let us go.”

“You’re expecting a lot of loyalty from someone you plan to betray.” You pushed.

“You’re putting up a hard fight for someone who claims they don’t have a real reason to stay,” he pressed back.

You looked away from your best friend. The man who treated you like his own sister from the beginning. Who was ready to give everything up and run to make sure you were safe.

Why weren’t you willing to give up your fraction of this world in return?

“Perhaps things are more complicated than I give myself credit for. I kissed Jungkook, and I can’t just leave until I figure that out.” You admitted embarrassed. You braced yourself for the teasing or the anger. But Hoseok's face was calm as he responded his eyes ernst and urgent.

“I fucked Yoongi,” Hoseok countered. “If I don’t leave now. I never will.”

A/N: I haven’t updated in so long I totally forgot how tags and formatting work on this post. Hopefully it finds the intended audience… let me know if you read and enjoyed it!!! Xoxox

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[malebodyexhibit]

Getting in the Action (a Next Door Boy tale)

'Never meet your heroes' is how that saying goes, but for me it should be, 'never become your hero.'

I first saw my hero on the big screen when I was in fourth grade. He was the coolest thing ever! There was a movie where he was a pilot and pulled off cool stunts in planes. My dad and I idolized him. He was the one who dragged me to the movie. It became his way to get me to do things, like "Tom always eats his vegetables" or "I doubt Tom failed his Math class." And, being the idiot I was, I obeyed.

The movie star’s influence steered my life to places I never thought I'd go. I got into weight lifting, because in all his movies, he always had that shirtless scene to hammer in the point that he was a man's man. That is what men should be. I bought a fitness magazine after I watched that movie where he has sex with his girlfriend and he strutted around his apartment naked. I wanted to be like that (confident in my own skin), so I studied the magazine and used my father's dumbbells. When I reached high school, I had washboard abs and biceps the size of grapefruits.

And sure, I was built like a linebacker, but I didn't enjoy sports. Of course I valued athleticism, but I also wanted to be an actor. I tried out for roles in Drama class and mostly got them for my good looks and body, but I really put in effort. It wasn't until we started rehearsing for Shakespeare's "The Tempest" that I started to appreciate the sounds and art of classical theatre. So in English I found a new joy. My dreams shifted from action movie star to a classical theatre. I really wanted to impress my hero that I was making something of myself for him.

Then the Next Door Boy craze happened. I'm sure you already know what happened. The debauchery and scandals. Yet, when it calmed, the benevolent acts stood out. People who lost out on life got a second chance. And then Tom announced something truly amazing:

"Hello, everyone. So many of you are my fans and have been since I was on the big screens almost half a century ago. No doubt I've gotten old. Seeing my gray hair is always a shock. But many of you suggested that I continue my legacy and through the efforts of Next Door Boy, I can. I won't just accept anyone. I want to only accept the biggest fan of mine. I want to take you with me to the stars in show business. So, fill out the application, send in those photos, and let's make something together."

The news was shocking. I could be him. He could be in me. We could share a future together. So of course I applied. I had my dad shoot the photos of me. He was over the moon. Anything for our hero.

And I was chosen. I couldn't breathe when I heard the news. The rest blurred in a rush of euphoria. I was seated in a chair at Next Door Boy as the agent went over the details. I was to be Tom’s body and I would still exist, but I wouldn't have control over anything; I would ride backseat in my mind. Do you accept?

"Yes," I said. Those were my last words spoken by my mouth by me.

---

"Tell me how much you like it when I do this," Tom whispered as he pulled my shirt over his nipple. He ran his hand over what used to be my stomach.

"Stop, please," I whimpered. I could only communicate in our shared mind. It had been a couple months since the procedure and since then, Tom has been using my body for his sexual gratification. I know he isn't even gay. He just likes tormenting me.

"I don't think so," he taunted. He stuck a finger in his mouth and gave a soft moan. As he pulled it out, a trail of spittle followed. He reached around our back and I felt the push against our tight hole. In a rush, he plunged it in. A sudden ache hit us and he moaned while I screamed, "stop!" He drove it in and out. He buckled over the restroom counter and continued to go knuckles deep. Finally, he pulled out the digit and wiped it on my six pack. "Well, that's enough for now. I don't want to make you too loose. I want this body to last a few years."

He jumped in the shower then got dressed. Around my parents he was a model son. Even though they know he wasn't me, but some middle aged action star, they still treated him like me.

"There's my boy!" My dad said and he stood to hug my body. My body hugged him back and my father beamed at us. He took my face in his hands and said, "have fun out there."

"Don't worry, dad. I will!" Tom said from my mouth. He was beaming his innocent smile. "Hey, mom. I have to fly to a studio today. We're starting on the set of a new movie. Could you pack me lunch?"

"Of course, dear. That sounds fun!" My mother smiled and went to prepare something in the kitchen.

"So how is it being the action hero?" Dad asked. I couldn't tell who he was asking. It seemed my parents believed I was still in control or that it was a mix of both. But no. It was always Tom.

I remember waking up from the procedure and seeing myself, unable to move or speak. I watched as he ran my hands over my arms and chest. I watched him flex in my body.

I felt how aroused he was getting from checking out my body. "God damn, boy," he said, "you're a snack." If it wasn't for health regulations, I'm sure he'd whip out our cock then and jerk off. But instead, he waited for the public restroom in the hallway. Since then, he tortures me by treating my body like a dildo or a fleshlight. It wasn't useful unless it was pounding or being pounded at both ends.

"It's pretty good. Let me tell you about the movie I'm shooting." Tom_ said, "It's about a college student, me, who has to fight off bank robbers and saves the day. It takes place in Vegas."

"That sounds cool," my dad said. "Remember, don't drink. You might be an action star, but you're still my son."

The man in my body smiled. "Of course."

We left the house and walked toward a limo waiting for us at the curb.

"It was a lie," he said now that we were alone.

"What?" I asked.

"There is a movie, but it's not one where the hero wins. He tries fighting the robbers and finds himself facedown in his own piss. He's then stripped and finds out how much loves a dicking and giving head."

"It's a porno?!" I screamed incredulously. "You can't make me do that! That's disgusting and I'm not gay!"

"It doesn't matter if you're gay. I already set up something with a studio. They're wanting a few hundred movies of us, well me in you. They like your body, and I do too, especially when it's a cheap slut for cock."  He smiled, flashing the driver a toothy grin. His signature boyish charm displayed on my face.

"You're supposed to make me famous," I cried. The promise of his echoing in my head.

"And I will make you famous. There will be no gay man alive who wouldn't have seen take a couple dicks. I will make you a household name in the porn industry. I will wear out your hole and it so you can't pretend you're a straight virgin."

"Please, stop," I begged, uselessly. I watched as he pulled a beer out from a cooler. He twisted off the cap and chugged the bottle. Since he was in my body, he drank incessantly and ate passionately. He rarely maintained my exercise and I feared my fit body would slip away.

"Why should I? What's the point of working out when I can just get another teen like you desperate for fame? I'll know it's time to leave your body when I can't see my toes and I can't get a good fuck. You can have your body back when that happens." He said as he opened a second bottle of beer. He was already unbuckling his belt to relieve himself of the strain. I cried in the unfeeling void of his mind.

[shadamyheadcanons]

Do you have any ideas for how Shadow and Amy’s relationship would change if Sonic had managed to get Shadow back on the ark in SA2? I’m working on my own little self-indulgent fic myself, but I’d be curious to hear your thoughts.

Interesting thought! See, this is a tricky one for me because they canonically act like his brush with death never happened, which is super weird.

There should have been a scene on the ARK where Amy was really upset and possibly even cried after it happened, maybe blaming herself for encouraging him.

There should have been a scene in Sonic Heroes where she latched onto him and gushed about how relieved she was to see him alive while he just stared at her like “???” because he still had amnesia.

She should have been the one to reach out and befriend him, and he should have accepted; not only does she remind him of his late best friend, but she’s seen him at his most murderous and still supported him unconditionally.

She should be even clingier with him than she is with her other friends after what happened. She should have been right with him all throughout Shadow the Hedgehog (2005), guiding him and keeping an eye on him the way one would expect given her personality.

And...maybe this is controversial, buuuuut...it’s always felt a little arbitrary to me that he wound up spending a ton of time with Rouge and Omega and basically none with Amy.

I’m not saying I have a problem with Team Dark. I adore their dynamic and I’m glad he has them, but it kind of feels like they just happened to be there. Sure, he got along with Rouge alright for much of SA2, but she seriously hurt him by spying on him--something she’s never apologized for, as far as I know--and she left him behind to help the others get to the Cannon’s Core.

And that, I think, is where the biggest difference would be.

Shadow isn’t the forgiving type. By the time he’d regained his memories in canon and remembered how she’d betrayed his trust, she’d proven in the interim that she’s ultimately a good and loyal friend. If she hadn’t had that chance, I don’t think she could’ve gotten her foot in the door so easily. And if Shadow hadn’t fallen, he wouldn’t have been picked up by Eggman, so he wouldn’t have met Omega. In fact, I’d go even further than that. Team Dark’s opening cutscene in Sonic Heroes implies that Omega’s there strictly to guard Shadow. Not only that, but I’ve always gotten the impression that that’s why Omega was created in the first place. Mephiles all but confirms this in Sonic 06 by pointing out Omega is perfectly built to defeat and capture Shadow.

“This only proves you were created to stop Shadow, the ultimate life form. Don’t tell you didn’t know.”

So Omega would probably never have been built, at least not in his current form :(

With our favorite murder robot out of the picture and Shadow not trusting Rouge, Team Dark would be kaput, and Shadow really needs someone who’ll reach out to him.

And we all know it would be Amy, right?

It’s not even conjecture. In Sonic Battle, she eagerly seeks him out, even getting irritated when Rouge keeps her away:

On top of that, Amy latches onto Shadow because he’s a hero. I’ve pointed this out before, but the second Shadow becomes the protagonist in ShTH, she’s smitten with him...

...and the same happens in IDW issue 59:

And we can’t leave out The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog:

The social media team gets it.

She’s got a subtle little crush on him already imo even with the few interactions they have. If Amy spent lots of time with Shadow, that little crush could grow to rival another crush of hers ;)

As for Shadow, if she’d reached out to him right away without the time gap from his amnesia, I think his feelings for her--romantic or otherwise--would have been fostered and allowed to grow, fueled by his gratitude. She changed his entire life and would have introduced positivity and companionship into his world. You can’t not feel strongly about someone who does that for you.

Fandom-wise, Shadamy is already extremely popular considering how little time they’ve spent together in canon. It’s the third most popular game ship on AO3, only beaten by Sonamy and Sonadow.

There are more fics for Shadamy than Knuxouge. That’s kind of ridiculous, right?! Shadow and Amy have maybe ten minutes of screentime together! I also think Shadow might have gotten along better with Sonic if he’d gone right from saving the world with him to becoming one of Amy’s favorite people, so I’m willing to bet Sonamyshad would’ve skyrocketed in popularity, too. Not my cup of tea, but I know a lot of other fans like it.

Or...more interestingly...Shadow could’ve been really pissed once he saw up close and personal just how often Sonic ran away from Amy. The Dark Era right after SA2 was when it was worst, too. I imagine Shadow would be furious if he knew the full extent of how badly his favorite hedgehog was being treated. He could have been a godsend for her. You think he’d have put up with this if he’d seen it?

(Tangentially, I think it’s weird that Knuckles was fine with this stuff. I think of him and Amy as sibling-adjacent at times, but sometimes I feel like I have to fudge some details to make it work.)

And how many times did Sonic hurt her or make her cry back in the day?

Shadow’s punched Sonic for less than that. He’s way too loyal to sit there and watch while someone hurts his sweet, kindhearted best friend.

People think of Amy as the clingiest Sonic character, but I 100% believe Shadow rivals her in that respect. I really do. He nearly destroyed the Earth for a friend he knew for less than a year. He latched onto Team Dark like a security blanket the second he was dropped on their doorstep. He would have done the same for Amy, and she really could have benefited from that loyalty. Amy lashed out in that era because of frustration and insecurity from being repeatedly snubbed by her favorite person. I honestly think someone stable and steadfast like Shadow was exactly who she needed. He really could have turned her life around and gotten her the respect she deserved, either by standing up for her or proving to her that she deserved better.

And I definitely think he could have dealt with the Black Arms’ invasion much better if he’d had Amy to help guide him through it. She’s reminded him of who he is before. The Miracle of Love ending proves without a doubt that she could do it again.

It would have been great for both of them. I’m sad Sega never let them have that.

Also, Shadow standing up for Amy and later dating her would make this weird scene from Archie #149 absolutely hilarious:

Granted, that applies to shadamy in general.

Ken Penders & Friends: “Ha, wouldn’t it be hilarious if we had Sonic make a skeevy, totally age-appropriate comment in our kids’ comic about Shadow ‘finding a girl?’”

Shadow: “I found Amy Rose”

Sega: “THAT’S NOT FUNNY”

Sonic: “Idk, I think it’s kinda funny :) ”

Penders: “I have never played a Sonic game”

[something-tofightfor]

2023 Summer Kiss Prompt #15: Frankie Morales - A Kiss After Pain

If you remember last summer, I took prompt requests for a series of smooches. It never got finished, and I apologize for that ... but this one WAS finished and has been languishing in my google docs for almost a year.

What was the delay? I couldn't post it until the story reached the point where you knew Frankie's secret. But @the-blind-assassin-12 .... it's happening. And this one is all for you.

Word Count: 1,796 Rating: M, for implied sex and a lot of angst ... and some blood. Takes place between chapters 9 and 10 of Liminality.

In the short time you’d known him, you’d never seen Frankie as agitated as he was that afternoon. 

You weren’t scared of him - you hadn’t ever been, even after finding out what he was. I should have been. It should have terrified me. But instead, you’d felt sympathy for the man - someone that hadn’t asked for what he was enduring, someone that took things seriously and tried his best to keep himself under control even when most other people in his position wouldn’t have been able to.

“Frankie, if there’s anything I can do, I need you to …” Shaking your head, you sighed. “I wish you’d just tell me.” 

“You can control it.” He was running his fingers through his hair, the Standard Oil ballcap you’d grown used to discarded on his couch. “Not a hundred percent of the time, but enough. Enough that you don’t need to fucking …” He growled, spinning away from you and striding toward the back door, both hands balled up onto fists and hanging by his sides. He won’t change here. He won’t let himself get worked up enough, even though the moon’s only a couple days away. “You don’t have to fucking hurt people. You have enough goddamn control to…” He trailed off, rocking back and forth.

“Maybe you’re the exception.” Standing, you slowly crossed the room, stopping short of touching him, even though you wanted to. “Maybe not everyone has the self control you do, Frankie. Maybe you not knowing what you were capable of and being wary of it all helped and -”

“No.” It was close to a snarl, the sound low in his throat as he stiffened. Keep it together, Frankie. “I’m not fucking special. Even Ashley agreed with me about the control thing.” He lowered his head, taking a breath. “It’s easier when you’re born into it because you have help controlling the urges. But she said that her entire line - and everyone else they’ve ever come into contact with - have been able to control themselves even in the beginning.” 

You shivered, crossing your arms over your chest. But why do these other wolves just want to kill? What is it about them that make them … “The Chaos line just wants attention, then. If they’re all aware that they’re hurting people, it’s by design.” He agreed with you, a humorless laugh at the end of it. 

“I’ve worked so hard.” He turned to face you, a deep frown on his face. “So hard since it happened to control it. To control myself. I just want to live my goddamn life and not worry about someone knocking on my door one day and -”

“Someone like me, you mean.” Covering your mouth with one hand, you closed your eyes. “Because if I figured out that this isn’t gators or bobcats, then someone else will, too. I can’t be the only one looking.” 

He nodded, eyes locked with yours. “And not everyone is like you. Not everyone would listen. People shoot first and ask questions later.” He glanced up, taking a long breath. “Like me and Redfly did in Colombia. Like the five of us did on so many missions. Like -”

“Hey.” You reached out then, laying a hand against the center of his chest. “You’re getting off topic here, Morales.” His heartbeat thumped against  your palm, the man’s skin hot through the thin material of his t-shirt. “The next full moon, we’ll get him.  You won’t have to worry about this asshole putting you in danger anymore.” 

“You sound so sure.” He rolled his eyes, stepping away from you. “What if it doesn’t happen that way? What if he’s always a couple steps ahead of me? What if I can’t keep you or the guys from -”

“You know why I’m here, Frankie.” Chewing on your lower lip, you narrowed your eyes. “You know what I’m willing to give u -”

He cut you off when he raised a fist, slamming it into the tabletop with a crack of his knuckles. 

You hissed in pain at the sound - and the sight - but Frankie didn’t even flinch, the man’s fingers flexing as he replied. “That’s not going to fucking happen.” He turned to face you again and you watched in horror as his bloodied knuckles dripped onto the tile floor. How is he not … that has to hurt. He - “I already put you in danger by not telling you right away. It’s not happening again. Not now, not -”

“Frankie, you’re bleeding.” Forcing yourself into motion, you moved past him and into the kitchen, grabbing a towel and turning on the hot water. “Your hand has to be broken, something cracked when you hit the table, and -”

“It was the table.” He was right behind you, the man’s voice low again as he leaned in to speak into your ear. “It does hurt, but it’s fine. It’ll heal. Give it a couple hours and it’ll be like nothing happened. Shit heals faster the closer it gets to the moon.” The table? He cracked the table? His left hand snaked around your waist and the right one came into view as he extended his fingers over the sink. “Just some bloody knuckles. Nowhere near the worst it’s been for me.” 

You sighed as he spoke, a tiny smile creeping over your lips as he flattened his palm against your belly, pulling you back toward him. I know it isn’t. “At least let me clean them off for you. Can’t have you bleeding all over the place.” He nodded, chin resting on your shoulder - and you got to work. 

You were gentle with his hand, guiding it under the trickle of water and letting it rinse the blood from his skin. The cuts were shallow - more bruises than anything else, but his knuckles were swollen, and you felt him wince when you used your thumb to rub antibacterial soap over them, ensuring that the area was clean. Not that it matters, according to him, but … still. 

“You know I’d do whatever it took to keep you safe, right?” He kissed the side of your neck, lips lingering against your skin. “Not only do you know my secret, but you know about Colombia, too, so that makes you … one of us.” Your heart thumped at the label, even though it wasn’t new information. But…  

“Hmm. With that, you’d think that maybe me not being around anymore would be a good thing. I’m a liability, Frankie. Not just to you guys, but to whoever the other person is, because … because I know what to look for. I know what to …” You trailed off when he reached for the taps, turning the water off and then urging you to spin and face him. “What?” 

“It would not be a good thing.” He moved closer, pinning you between his body and the counter’s edge, the man’s gaze intense. “Not even close.” His nostrils flared as he contemplated his words - and yours - and when Frankie spoke again, you heard resolve in his voice, the man trailing one bruised knuckle over your cheek. “You might know what to look for and what to do when you find it, but I know what it feels like to be the thing you’re looking for. I know what happens when we’re not … us anymore. And I’m going to use that to hunt this motherfucker down.” 

His eyes flashed gold as he spoke, Frankie’s handsome features turning sharp for a moment before they softened. 

You still weren’t scared, but you did feel fear - not for you or for him, but for whoever was behind the attacks. Because he won’t give up. This isn’t just about keeping people safe, it’s about … him getting to live his life. It’s about getting to watch his daughter grow up and … “You are.” Nodding twice, you closed your eyes. “We are. And I’m going to help you as much as I can.” So that maybe I can finally live my life, too. 

You took his wrist between your fingers and twisted it, finally breaking eye contact when you pressed your lips to his knuckles. You kissed each one in turn, and when you were done, you looked back up, not knowing what to expect. 

But instead of uncertainty or unease, Frankie looked absolutely wrecked, the man’s lips parted and his brow furrowed, his eyes on your face. You didn’t know how he’d respond, but you didn’t expect him to nearly moan out your name, surging forward to kiss you without warning. 

He ripped his wrist from your hold and used that hand to grip the back of your neck - not tightly but securely, his other hand sliding beneath your shirt and up the center of your back, the heat of his palm trailing like fire over your skin. 

There was nothing hesitant about the kiss. Frankie didn’t hold back, and you would have been lying if you’d said that part of you wasn’t thrilled that you were able to get that kind of reaction out of him after only knowing him for a couple months. But who wouldn’t be? He’s… 

He tugged on your lip with his teeth and then released it, running his nose alongside yours before he kissed you again, your mouth open and waiting, the point of his tongue meeting the flat of yours, almost daring you to challenge him further. 

You did, one hand gripping his shirt and bunching the fabric of it against your palm as you moaned into his mouth, your other hand pushing on his hip and wordlessly urging him to back up so that you could follow. 

He was dangerous and you knew it. 

He’d been that way for years before Colombia, Frankie’s instincts and willingness to do what needed to be done allowing him and his friends to survive countless unthinkable situations. But he was also loyal to the people he cared about - and based on the things he’d said to you and the way he’d treated you since your first meeting, you’d worked yourself into that circle almost unwittingly. And that means everything. 

He pulled back to breathe, pressing his forehead to yours and stroking over the line of your jaw with his thumb. “Frankie, you -”

“If I don’t let you go right now, I don’t know that I’m going to be able to. And I can’t… I can’t promise I’ll be able to rein myself in today.” 

You made your choice  - if there even was one to be made -  in an instant, your grip on him tightening at the same time you inhaled sharply, the hand on his hip sliding back so that you could urge his lower body against yours. 

“I don’t want you to. Ever.”

—