#and i have not been able to stop thinking about it since

[headspace-hotel]

This year has, so far, been for me a series of rapid realizations of what I have been unlearning.

I went to the library. This was a couple weeks ago. I knew I needed to read a book, fiction. I hadn't done so in over a year and it was the longest period of time I had ever gone without doing so. I made a rule: I would only pick books I had never heard of, by authors I had never heard of, and I would not do any preliminary research or even bother to look at what the book was about. I would make my decision on whether to read or not purely on my impression of the title, cover and opening lines.

The book was The Connoisseur by Evan S. Connell. It was kind of a random selection. I sat down with it in a corner of the library and straight up devoured it. I tore through the book within a few hours, without taking a single break. I was captivated. I couldn't put it down.

It is a book about a guy who buys a Mayan figurine in a knickknack shop while he's on a business trip. and becomes obsessed with pre-Columbian sculptural art. There isn't really much of a plot apart from this. He goes to sketchy antique shows, has conversations with museum curators, wealthy art dealers and forgers, and seeks to learn how to distinguish a genuine pre-Columbian piece from a fake one. It was written in the 1970's, so the views on Native Americans are antiquated and sometimes offensive, and there is the troubling thread of the very concept of looting another culture's treasures and treating them as collectibles, though the book is not without commentary on this.

All the same, it was a completely intoxicating read. The vicarious experience of becoming fascinated with a topic and having it unfold a whole world for you was ferociously gripping, and so was the intrigue of the art collecting world itself. The frauds, forgeries, smuggling, museums, academics, aristocrats, auctions and seedy flea markets. Will he ever be able to tell if a piece is "real?" Does it matter if it's "real?" Why does he want to own and possess a piece of art, and how does its "realness" affect that desire? The book leaves you not knowing what to think.

It is a book about curiosity, portrayed in the narrative as a totally unreasonable lightning bolt that strikes a man who has never been fascinated by anything and changes him forever. Why? Why does a Mayan figurine, in particular, speak to him? Why does any piece of art, or any fascinating thing in the world, speak to anyone? It is unknowable.

I went to the library again. I picked a new book using the same rules. This book was Fragile Beasts by Tawni O'Dell. Just like the last time, I was totally captivated. I couldn't put it down.

Did I have a couple major problems with the portrayal of some important aspects of the story? Yes. (It would make the post much longer to discuss.) Was I completely captured by and invested in the story for the time I was reading it? Also yes. The book braids together several very different strands-- the story of a legendary Spanish bullfighter and a wealthy American woman that he loved, two brothers stuck in an ugly family situation after their father's death in a car accident, and a rich old heir to a Pennsylvania coal mining fortune and to the sinister underbelly of her family's business.

There was a lot about baseball, which I know nothing about, and bullfighting, which I know nothing about, and I certainly don't know anything about being a teenaged boy who resents and mistrusts his estranged mother, or an aristocratic old lady who lives in a mansion and eats fancy Spanish food. It was fun to experience so much unfamiliar stuff and to care about things I wouldn't normally care about. Once again I couldn't stop reading until I had finished it.

I don't know that either book was "good," though I thought they were both well written; I just know that reading them was like being hooked up to an IV of something essential and life-giving and feeling it reanimating my body.

It had been a year since I had read any fiction, but it had been much, much longer since I had loved to read. As I became an adult I had become picky and critical about books, and developed a highly sophisticated sense of my taste and the books I considered good- which were very rare. My taste in books became so sophisticated, eventually, that I didn't like books at all anymore.

I had almost withered away from deficiency of that essential nutrient known as STORY. I'd almost crumbled myself into dust from pretentiousness! I may have been terribly wrong about the kinds of things I liked to read, on top of it. And I certainly hadn't realized that story was such an essential nutrient.

"Just entertainment" the pretentious sorts of people might say of a book they think is useless-- but what is entertainment but to absorb your mind in something, and what is absorbing your mind in a book but to experience things you would never have experienced? It expands you and makes you more complicated. It is the study of human existence itself.

Now all I have been able to think about today is finishing my work and going to the library again...

[syluss-littlecrow]

release

<Caleb x fem!reader>

where both you and Caleb end up doing more than butt heads about his given curfew for you.

genre/warnings: smut, pwp, mutual pinning, mutual obsession & possession, jealous!Caleb breeding kink, multiple orgasms, a lot of cum..., perverted!MC, friends to lovers?, squirting, unprotected sex, morning sex, pure Caleb brain rot, it gets pretty nasty

a/n: Caleb, Caleb, CALEB XIA YIZHOU 😭😭 the way I've been giggling over Caleb while watching his story and going back to my home screen with Sylus looking at me with his arms crossed.... Anyway, enjoy this Caleb brain rot 🥹🩷 I'll do one with Caleb's military air force uniform when I can 😔🫡

I JUST SAW THE NEW BANNER DROP IM NOT OK IF ANYONES WONDERING.

w/c: 3.5K

Effortless. That is what Caleb feels like when his affections come to you. It bubbles and boils over when he thinks he's able to put a lid over it, and it overflows instead. It leaves him so defenseless. Yet, he can't seem to stop. It's the only thing that keeps him going in this hell. 

The only thing he feels is the metallic necklace barely weighing on his chest. It almost feels like you're here with him. 

And if you are, he wants to keep you here with him. Forever.

His eyes slowly open. His eyes focus on the hologram clock hovering at the side. 

You're supposed to be back already. 

Caleb contemplated on driving out to find you since he has your location pinging on his phone.

Since when did you have that many friends in Skyhaven? Why doesn't he know about them?

He checks the messages he's sent you, all unread. 

Caleb has to remind himself to stop clenching his jaw and biting his tongue. 

His stare towards the door grows anxious by the minute. Then he strengthens his resolve and marches towards the door, ready to leave and look for you. 

The second he pulls down the door handle, the jingle of the door unlocking from the outside sounds and the door swings open, making you and Caleb jump when he catches you in his arms from bumping into each other.

“Caleb!” You squeal, flustered at the way you completely ran into him. His warmth is radiating over to your skin. “Are you okay? Where were you gonna go?”

You watch a small pout form on his lips. He truly looks like a puppy when he does that, you can't help but think. 

“Look for you”, he curtly replies, making sure you've regained your balance before he releases your arms.

You straighten your posture, and sheepishly touch the nape of your neck, immediately avoiding his gaze. 

“Ah, right. Well, I got carried away with chatting with my friends and all…” 

Caleb crosses his arms. His pout turns into a frown, and his eyebrows are scrunched. 

Shit. He looks mad.

You inch closer to him, your fingers grazing over his knuckles. 

“I'm sorry, Caleb. Don't be mad okay? I'm home now, safe and sound, in the flesh, aren't I?”

Caleb breathes steadily, keeping his expression the same, but when you take his palm and nuzzle your cheek against it, Caleb feels the anxiety and frustration dissolve. He wants to reprimand you about the curfew, and why he implemented it in the first place. If you’ve stayed missing for a second longer, he would have completely lost it. But the moment his palm nearly touches your lips, it all dissipates, as if it never existed. 

Caleb exhales a sigh of defeat, letting it go just this time, alongside the countless times he did. 

“Go shower. I left the heater on for you.” 

You respond with a cheeky smile that makes something in Caleb’s chest bloom, and he lets you go, watching you disappear into your room. 

Caleb hears a knock on his door. He walks over and opens it, watching you coming into view. 

“Is there something you need, pipsqueak?”

You squeeze through the crack of the partially opened door and occupy his bed. 

“I'm just bored.”

Even though Caleb cocks his eyebrow, he still sprouts his smile, walking over to join you on his bed.

“Not because you're trying to make it up to me for coming back past curfew?”

Shit. 

Your smile playfully drops to a pout. “I got carried away yapping with my friends. You know I didn't mean to…” 

Caleb crosses his arms again.

“I could tell. My messages were all left unread.”

You curl your fingers to your lips when you realise you've been caught.

Caleb seems upset but you still see the softness beneath. 

He sighs. 

“I'm doing this for your own good, pipsqueak. I don't like you getting caught up in this.”

Caleb likes to think that it is that way, but he knows that it's more than just that. 

“As you can tell–” you’re showing off your body–your arms first then your legs, then your abdomen. But what Caleb didn't expect you to do was lift up your shirt slightly, your skin exposed, and have your shorts hike up your thighs, just to prove your point. “Nothing! You can check me for tracking devices too if you want to.” 

Something snaps in him.

“So do you let your friends inspect your body like that?” 

He crawls onto the bed, watching the smile slowly drop from your face. 

Caleb’s fingers trace your bare skin, drawing goosebumps from how ghostly the touches feel. His fingers slide from the top of your knees, and towards your thighs.

“Do you know how worried I was when you didn't answer my messages?”

You’re about to part your lips to respond, but he cuts you off. 

“I was wondering what conversations you were having that you ignored me.” 

“Caleb–”

He’s completely trapped you against the headboard of his bed. He's trapped you with his stare. 

Caleb inches closer, until he's close enough. His eyes glance down to your lips for a split second before his gaze meets yours again. 

Your breath is shaky when he leans in closer. 

Then he turns away. 

What the fuck? 

You watch in disbelief as he pulls away, your breath still caught in your throat from the tension.

Caleb’s signature smile returns and you feel his palm stroke the back of your head. 

“You should go back to bed. It's late.” 

He turns to open his door for you to leave. 

“Maybe I should start coming home later too.” 

He pauses in his steps. 

“I don't think that's a bright idea, pipsqueak.”

You slide off his bed and walk towards his door. 

“Maybe not. But I have brighter ones that consist of escaping your curfew.” 

You’re ready to leave the room with your victory, that is, until the door before you completely shuts. You see his shadow tower over you from behind. 

You turn to face Caleb, your arms are crossed. 

“Didn’t you ask me to go to bed?” 

“Changed my mind. I wanna make sure you're thoroughly inspected.”

You’re facing Caleb, back on his bed again. He starts with your face, but he lets his fingers linger around your lips, brushing across your bottom lip. You turn away, and his fingers catch your chin, forcing you to face Caleb.

“No looking away.”

His eyes are devouring every patch of skin that exists on your body. Even though you're clothed, you feel naked when he has his eyes on you this intensely. His fingertips trace back to your lips and he slides it down painfully slowly–past your chin, down your neck, through your sternum, past your stomach, and stops right above the elastic of your shorts. 

You want to shift, but you realise you can't–your body suddenly feels weighed down to the bed, and that's when you realise Caleb has you held down with his Evol.

The softness in Caleb’s eyes disappears, and something else replaces it. You watch him tug your shorts off you, and all you can do is watch helplessly. 

His kisses tickle from your ankle, and he builds them upwards at an agonising pace, each kiss feeling warmer as he travels up your thigh. 

Your heartbeat only accelerates from there, watching Caleb inch closer and closer to your cunt. Your thighs tense up from the sensitivity, the warmth of his lips spreading over your skin when you feel his tongue come in contact with your skin. 

“That tickles”, your voice is soft, as if the defiance in your tone before never existed.

Caleb’s lips press against your clothed pussy. Despite the fact that you’re trembling slightly, you've completely soaked your panties, and Caleb is more than happy to soak them even more. 

He buries his tongue, wetting the fabric even further. The pleasure draws soft moans, but evidently, it's not enough. 

“Caleb… Could you lighten your Evol?” You plead. You want to feel him so bad. 

Your body instantly lightens, and you almost think you're gonna fall off the bed. 

Something else holds you down this time, and it's Caleb. 

He tilts your chin up to have your lips meet his, now his kisses melting off the thoughts in your brain. Warmth burns through your skin. It takes you seconds to realise Caleb is lifting your shirt off you.

The clothing article is the next victim tossed somewhere else on the bed. 

You take his cheeks to your palms.

“I really need you now, Caleb.”

The softness returns to his eyes momentarily. 

“Are you sure you're okay with this?”

“I'll hop off right now and head straight to bed if you don't”, you huff. Fuck, the anticipation is just clawing through your insides, begging for Caleb to do something.

He playfully scoffs. 

“We both know you wouldn't.” 

Caleb tugs your panties to the side, and lines himself to your hole.

He thrusts into you in one swift motion, and you feel it all the way in. It knocks your breath out of you. Caleb watches you helplessly gasp for air and adjust to his size. He’s just filled you so full. 

He’s still supporting you so you don't fucking pass out. He feels you scratch all over his back from the pressure but he stays still, at least, until you've adjusted. 

“Shit. You're so fuckin’ warm for me”, he hisses into your neck, trying his best not to thrust into you. You feel so tight for him, he feels so good just staying there.

He stretches you open for him–your pussy fluttering at the feeling of him filling you up. The pressure slowly fades and you quickly adjust to his size.

Your vision blurs when he thrusts into you from below–the sensation so overwhelming that it's making you tear up. 

“So good”, you sigh, struggling to keep your eyes open–almost impossible when his cock is hitting your g-spot over and over again. Sparks burst into your eyelids whenever he hits the spot and it's evident that he knows he’s able to unravel you just like that, so easily. 

“Caleb…”, you moan. Caleb’s still fucking you, feeling the way you're just squeezing him, watching the way your fingers have gone clawing his back to his bedsheets, the way your tits are bouncing from fucking you, the way your eyes practically form hearts when he knows he's hit your sensitive spots.

“Faster, please. You feel so fucking good.”

He knows you shouldn't have said that. You're the only person who can rile him up like this. How the hell are you making him break his resolve when he's supposed to be upset with you?

He leans in, practically hovering over you. His fingers cup your cheek and he forces you to meet his violet eyes. 

In your fucked out haze, you blink, confused when he slows down. He pulls out completely, and you're about to complain until he rolls your soiled panties off your legs, tossing it to somewhere on the bed. 

You gasp when you feel his thumb graze over your wet and throbbing clit. 

“I'm gonna make you wonder what the fuck wrong with your body”, Caleb’s voice reaches your ears. His words sends a shiver down your spine.

“Your little pussy is gonna throb every time you think of me.”

That's all the warning he gives before his arms tower over you, holding your wrists down above your head. 

He fucks you into an orbit and you're practically helpless–forced to take his thrusts over and over. But fuck, it feels so good. It feels like fucking heaven. 

You like how dizzy it makes you feel. You like how he's not stopping, no matter how much tears stream down your face, and how pathetic you sound crying and moaning his name. 

“Fuck! Caleb, it's too much–” you whimper, the strange feeling building up in your stomach. It feels like it's about to snap any second. 

He acknowledges your words, but he doesn't bother slowing down. 

“Didn’t you promise me to be a good girl and take all of it?” 

“Caleb–!”

Your voice sounds so heavenly when you call his name.

The fluids fountains out of you, soaking everything near it's vincity–including the both of you. Your orgasm continues to wash over you and more fluids spray out.

Caleb watches you squirm and jolt while you make a mess all over him. 

He lets go of your wrists, the slight redness forming onto your skin, and his thumb caresses your bottom lip. 

Despite your arms feeling sore from resisting against his hold, you wrap them around his neck, pulling him close to catch his lips. He's taken back for a split second, but he returns the kiss, letting his soft moans drown into your lips while you clench around him.

When you both pull back, it's Caleb’s turn to have his eyes glazed and his cheeks dusted a soft shade of pink. 

“y/n, if you keep doin’ that–fuck”, Caleb groans, his fingers closing into a fist against the sheets. His breath is shaky. The euphoria is threatening to spill over–the fact that you're trapping him in like this with you, just the two of you solely existing together right now–he could get high off this feeling. He doesn't need anything else. 

“I'm so close. Shit.” You watch the bead of sweat trickle down his temple, down to his cheek, to his chin, and then it disappears into the mess the both of you made below. 

Caleb’s voice makes you refocus on him. 

His palm presses against your cheek again, his thumb brushing lightly on the corner of your lips. 

“You're gonna take all of it like a good girl, yeah?” 

You nod, almost too eagerly. Caleb can't help but think that your face after being fucked looks breathtakingly beautiful. It makes him want to hide you further. The world doesn't deserve someone like you. 

He crashes his lips with yours, melting into the kiss while he pumps you full with his thick cum–making sure he has himself seated deep inside so nothing spills out. At least, not until he pulls out.

The high slowly descends, and the both of you are left panting, getting lost in each other’s eyes just for that moment before Caleb slowly pulls out. 

Caleb then reaches for the glass of water perched on his nightstand to offer you. You take a good few sips of water, and hand it back to Caleb, who takes a couple of sips as well. He notices the way your cheeks are still flushed and that you're blinking more. He plants the empty glass onto the nightstand, ready to carry you to wash up and probably change the sheets after.

In a daze, you notice Caleb’s cum seeping out of your hole in small loads. You wet two fingers and slide them to your pussy–and you push the thick fluids back in, your body jolting in pleasure while you're pretty much fingering your pussy with Caleb’s cum.

Caleb swallows hard while he watches you pleasure yourself. He’s about to say something but you cut him off.

“Your cum keeps leaking out”, you point out, giving him the full view of your cum-soaked pussy. You look up at him with an innocent, poison-soaked gaze–your lashes wet and your thighs trembling from each time you feel his cum leak out of you.

“It’d be such a waste–”, you mutter, shivering one more time when your fingers fuck you again, the room only filled with your voice and the wet squelching sounds from your pussy.

“–if it doesn't stay inside.” 

You barely have time to process what happens next. The next thing you knew, Caleb has your hands pinned above your head with one hand, and the other on your cheeks. His legs stop you from closing yours, and you feel his wet thickness hard once more, resting on your pubic bone.

“You know, pipsqueak”, his voice drops an octave lower. His voice is clear, and he makes sure you hear him. “It's okay to just ask for more.” His eyes reflect such a gorgeous shade of wild you've never seen before, and it looks fucking good on him.

No warnings–your cunt is just wet and sopping that Caleb stuffs you to fullness once more–you give up trying to keep your eyelids open, your mind only processing the way he’s fucking so deep into you again and again.

“You know I'll always give it to you.” 

The way his fingers are cupping your cheeks stops you from answering. Well, he doesn't need a verbal response, especially not when you’re clenching him so fucking tight when your orgasm hits you for the…how many times was it now?

You feel stings that slowly dull around your shoulders and chest. The bites Caleb’s given you are as red as the ruby on his apple necklace. 

The night is drowned with sounds and sensations of both you competing to send each other to the heavens. 

What day is it now? 

Caleb blinks his heavy eyelids open. He soaks in the atmosphere around him, and it doesn't take him long to realise that you're lying on his arm.

Thankfully, it's not numb. Your hair tickles his cheeks. 

He notices the light peeking through his curtains. It's probably daytime. 

Caleb presses his lips against the back of your head, while he pulls you closer. He almost jolts when he hears a soft moan coming from you.

For some reason, something feels funny. 

He attempts to shift slightly, and realises the predicament–his dick is still hard as fuck, and he’s still nestled so fucking deep in you. Fuck. Did the both of you fall asleep mid-sex? The feeling bleeds into him again. 

Are you even awake to realise this? 

Caleb bites his inner cheek, the hardness only builds. Shit. Even after all of that, you're still this warm and tight? 

He watches your breathing steadily. 

He hooks your leg over his arm almost too easily, giving himself easier access to fuck you deeper. Your sleepiness is slowly dissipating, overtaken so fucking quick by the burning desire once more.

His thrusts bear slight friction at first, but somehow that only adds to the pleasure–the rawness, the fact that he's left a mess in you and kept that way, and that he gets to do it all over again in the morning. 

“Ca…Caleb..!” You squeal, uselessly fisting the pillows while Caleb rails you from below. 

“So perfectly warm for me, y/n”, his morning voice dousing you. He takes advantage to litter more bites to the back of your neck and shoulders, and spoils you with his strained moans when he reflects the way you whimper whenever he hits your sensitive spots. 

You sheepishly bury your teary face into the pillows, and Caleb pushes himself impossibly deeper, forcing you to face him when you jolt in surprise. His violet eyes are eating you up. You hear his voice ring in your ears.

“Wanna make you cry more like this. You're so pretty when you cry when I'm splittin’ you open like this.” 

More tears stream down your cheeks whenever your g-spot gets abused over and over. Caleb forces you to meet his gaze. His thrusts are slower, but harder. 

“Shit, you're really gonna milk me dry, yeah?” Caleb hisses when he feels you flutter around him. Your cum is mixed with his, and drips down his cock, to his balls. 

Caleb pulls you tighter, deepening the kiss one last time while he breeds you full over and over for nth time since the last night, devouring your whimpers when the words you muttered to him last night comes into memory. You're so dizzy with pleasure, and Caleb has stolen all of your breaths. 

He finally pulls out, his cum endlessly drizzling out of your abused hole, and it almost sets him off again. 

Nonetheless, he forces himself to get out of bed so he can get a towel and clean you up.

Another loving kiss he presses onto your temple.

“I'm gonna get a towel, pipsqueak.” His husky whispers send shivers down your body, and the warmth of his touch lingers on your thighs for a lot longer than you realise.

He leaves the bed for the bathroom. 

You nuzzle into the pillows Caleb was just lying on, drowning yourself with his scent. The wetness that sticks between your legs–you can't tell if it's your fresh arousal or if it's his cum anymore.  

Not that it mattered since steadying your breath when you realised he was still in you when you stirred before him to see what he'd do next, gave you such a big reward. 

And you'd do it all over again. You would say things to get under his skin, just to get a rise out of him, just to keep his attention on you, always. 

You wanted to keep his strained voice when he called your name, the way he looks at you with so much desperation when he breeds you full, in a bottle and store it for your perverted indulgence. 

No one else needs to know that this part of Caleb exists, because he belongs to you. 

The dim light catches your attention underneath the thick sheets. You take the device, unlocking the phone with your fingerprint. 

6 missed calls. 

You swipe them away. You shut off his phone.

He doesn't need to know.

He doesn't need to remember.

At least, not when he's with you. 

[neeeooon]

Hey! How would the bllk boys (Bachira, Isagi, Chigiri, Rin + your choice?) React to their SO trying to break up with them bc she's insecure about not being ambitious enough and she thinks they should be with someone 'better'?

omg this made me so sad 😭 hopefully you enjoy!

when you try to break up with them because you’re insecure ;

bf bllk x fem!reader

bachira meguru

-> watching bachira dance across the field was your favorite thing in the world, but it could be bittersweet. you saw how happy it made him, and it sucked to know that you’d never feel that kind of excitement

-> the thoughts about not being good enough finally got to you, and you caved. “meg? when you have a minute?” “what’s up, y/n?”

-> you didn’t think it’d be this hard. “i… i don’t think i’m ambitious enough to be your girlfriend. i don’t have a thing like you do, and i feel like maybe i’m distracting you? like instead of being on the field, you’re with me, and that’s not fair to you and your dreams.”

-> after a moment of staring and blinking and confused looks from bachira, he jumps up and pulls you into a bone-crushing hug. “just because you don’t have a ‘thing’, doesn’t mean i don’t want you.”

-> he releases you and flashes his signature head-tilt-smile combo that wrecks your heart. “i can help you find something that drives you as much as soccer drives me, if you want! and if you don’t, that’s okay, too! but whatever it is, i want us to do it together. okay? :>”

isagi yoichi

-> after watching team blue lock play against the u20 team and win, hearing how determined your boyfriend was during the interview, watching him celebrate with his teammates, you made up your mind

-> “yoichi? can we talk?” and he starts sweating because he hasn’t seen or heard from you except for a little “congrats!” text since his game

-> you sit him down and stare into your lap as you say, “i think we should break up.”

-> he leans forward to ask why, but stops when you look up to reveal tears in your eyes. “i don’t have a dream. i’m not ambitious like you, and i don’t want to hold you back from achieving your dreams. i want you to live a full, prosperous life with someone better—“

-> and he’s kissing you. “y/n, no. i don’t… there isn’t anyone better. yes, this is my dream, but it’s a dream with you in it! and no one says prosperous, babe.”

-> you laugh at that and he helps wipe your tears away. “do you promise?” “i promise.”

chigiri hyoma

-> you loved watching chigiri regain his dream of running and playing soccer, but there were times when you felt like he was going to pass you by and not look back

-> it made you insecure, knowing he was so happy chasing after this dream that had previously been out of reach, when you didn’t have anything to compare it to. you felt like he could do better with someone who understood his struggles

-> “hyoma?” “hm?” “can i talk to you about something?” “mhm!” “something serious?” “… okay.”

-> and you tell him everything. “i feel like you could do better. like if you were with someone who truly understood your struggles and dreams, that you’d be happier. i love you, but i don’t want to be a deadweight in your future.”

-> chigiri would look at you, know you’re not joking, but still think this is a huge prank. “y/n, i’m able to run toward my dream because of you. because in my head, you’re there at the finish line. you’re not holding be back, you’re giving me something to run to.” you cried after that for sure

itoshi rin

-> though you cheered for your boyfriend and encouraged him every step of the way, you didn’t think you’d ever amount to the love and passionate rin has for soccer

-> it made you doubt yourself, seeing him so ambitious to strive for this dream when you didn’t have anything close to amounting

-> when it finally got to be too much, you pulled your boyfriend aside and kept your hands at your sides. “you are the most talented person i know.”

-> and now he’s nervous. “what’s going on, y/n?”

-> “i feel like i’m pulling you away from that when i’m around. i think your career would be better off without me dragging you down. you’re such a skilled player, rin, and i’m just—“

-> he takes your hands in his and squeezes them, almost desperately. “don’t say anything else. i don’t want to hear it, y/n, please. i can’t do this without you. you aren’t pulling me away or dragging me down, so don’t—“

-> this time it’s you who cuts him off when you fling yourself against his chest. “i’m sorry. i didn’t know… thank you for telling me.”

michael kaiser

-> omg he is terrified when you ask him to “talk” because he’s 98% sure he left the oven on and thinks you found out

-> but when you say, “i think we should break up,” his mind goes blank

-> “why.” “i just feel like you’re so focused on chasing your dream that you don’t need me… i can’t help you become a better player, and i don’t want to hold you back—“ “did i do something?” “huh?”

-> kaiser would look at you with such sad eyes, but accept this thinking that you want to leave him. “if you want to go, i won’t stop you. don’t stay with me if you aren’t happy anymore, y/n—“

-> you are confused, because how has the conversation changed this much? “what the heck, no! michael, i’m saying you can do better than me—“ “but i don’t want ‘better’! there isn’t ‘better’. i want you!”

[ariestrxsh]

bsf!chris x bsf!reader

🤍 content warning: smut, fingering, oral (f!receiving), unprotected sex, sexualization of religious imagery

🤍 summary: after a date gone bad, your best friend chris is there to make you feel better with his cock

this fic was inspired/requested by this ask that was sent in forever ago (and it was also inspired/requested by someone who asked for a plot where reader goes to chris for comfort after a bad date but I forgot to save their ask </3)

angel like u

꒰ა 𓂋 ໒꒱

You buried your face into Chris' chest, tears staining the front of his shirt, but he didn't mind at all. He didn't mind the tear stains, and he didn't mind that you'd interrupted him playing video games on stream. All that he cared about was that you were okay.

He cradled your head with one hand, and with the other, he tenderly rubbed your back. You hadn't even been able to explain to your best friend why you were so upset yet, and he still held you against his chest, smoothing down your hair.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," he said in a comforting voice. You pulled away, sniffled, and looked up at him with your big, misty eyes. "It's embarrassing, really," you started off, wiping away a tear with the sleeve of your sweater.

He listened quietly without judgment as you continued on. "I went on a first date with a guy, and I don't usually do this, but we were getting along really well. So I went back to his place, and things got a little heated," you started to tell him, searching for his reaction and hoping he didn't think differently of you.

"What happened?" Chris sharply asked, clenching his jaw and imagining the worst-case scenario. "It's not that it was bad or anything. It's just that he didn't make me.." you started to say, but you turned away, too flustered to finish your sentence.

"He didn't make you.. cum?" Chris speculated. "Exactly," you said, somewhat relieved that Chris had finished your sentence for you.

"He came, and then it was just over. He didn't even try to get me off after or even cuddle with me. I just put my clothes back on, he told me he didn't feel anything for me, and then he suggested that he take me home," you admitted, your lip quivering and your eyes welling with tears again.

"What an asshole," Chris muttered under his breath, wiping away your mascara-stained tears from your cheek with his thumb.

"I didn't want to cry in front of him, and I didn't want to be alone, so I asked him to take me here since it was only a few minutes away. I hope you don't mind that I just showed up unannounced on your doorstep, sobbing at midnight," you apologetically said.

"Of course I don't mind. You know I'm here for you whenever you need it," Chris comforted you. "Thank you, Chris," you replied, pulling him into another hug, tightly gripping the fabric of his shirt as if he'd float away if you let go.

"Boys like that don't deserve angels like you. How are you feeling right now, pretty girl?" Chris wondered, resting his head against yours.

"I know I agreed to it, but I just feel so used, you know? I feel stupid for giving it up on the first date. And listen, I know this is weird, but I still feel kind of.." your voice trailed off as you cracked an embarrassed smile.

"Turned on?" Chris guessed, finishing your thought again.

"Yeah, I mean, it was good up until he stopped. I was so close," you admitted, almost forgetting you were talking to your male best friend instead of your therapist. "Oh, god. I'm so sorry. You didn't need to know that," you buried your head in your hands after your confession.

Chris let out a small chuckle, caressing your back with his fingertips again. "You don't have to be embarrassed to tell me things like that. I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything, but I could, you know, finish you off if you'd like," Chris offered, his tongue darting out and wetting his lips as his gaze fell to your mouth.

Your eyebrows flew up. "Y-you'd do that?" You asked, seriously considering his proposal. "Yeah. I hate seeing you cry," Chris whispered, wiping away another tear as it fell. "If I could go back in time and make sure the whole situation didn't happen to begin with, I would. Making you feel good is the least I can do."

He tilted your chin up to look at him, searching your face for permission to kiss you. "What do you say? You want me to make you cum?" He sweetly asked, his gaze lingering on yours. "Yes. Pleeease, Chris," you softly begged, the words surprising you as they tumbled from your mouth in such a desperate manner.

He smirked down at you before his eyes fluttered closed, and he leaned in, his lips gently meeting yours. It started off slow - a few soft pecks here and there and a gentle caress of his fingertips along your jawline, sending goosebumps across your warm skin.

Before you knew it, the two of you had been swept up in the moment. His lips passionately engulfed yours, and his velvet-like tongue gently brushed against yours, filling your mouth with the taste of a blue raspberry-flavored piece of candy he'd eaten shortly before.

You softly moaned into his mouth, the vibration tickling his lips and sending blood rushing below his waist. He reached up your shirt, gently pinching your sensitive nipples, feeling them harden under his touch. He pulled your top off over your head and admired the sight of you half-nude on his bed.

His hand wandered to the button of your jeans, and he slipped his long, slender fingers into your waistband. He gasped and pinched his eyebrows together when he felt how wet you were, his face only a few inches from yours as he explored your folds.

You relaxed against his body, a few breathy, textured moans spilling from your lips. "Let's get you out of these," Chris suggested, removing his hand from your waistband and motioning for you to lift your hips, so he could pull your jeans and your panties off of you and have better access to you.

Once you were completely naked, you leaned back on Chris' bed and slowly parted your legs, showing yourself off to him. "Look at that. She's so happy to see me," Chris seductively cooed, sliding his middle finger up and down your slit. You shuddered at the sensation and his words.

Your breath hitched in your throat as your best friend toyed with you, spreading open your labia and admiring how pretty and pink it was. He placed two digits at your entrance and watched them slowly disappear into your drooling hole.

"You weren't kidding. You are turned on," Chris observed, pumping his fingers and slightly curling them. You bit back a moan and grasped at the bedsheets beneath you. "Don't be shy. I wanna hear you," Chris responded with a smile on his face, indicating to you that he didn't care that his brothers were asleep upstairs.

You nodded and released your lower lip from between your teeth. As Chris picked up the pace, another sensual sound tore through you, but you didn't hold back this time. "That's it," Chris purred.

You peered down at the way he pistoned his fingers deep inside of you, your eyes traveling to the silver chain around his wrist and his prominent veins on his arms. With his blue eyes locked on yours, he lowered his head between your thighs and took your clit into his mouth.

You jumped and squealed at the feeling of his soft tongue exploring you, fluttering around on your needy pussy. He closed his lips down around your sensitive bundle of nerves and started gently suckling on it.

"Oh, Chris," his name fell from your lips as your tipped your hand back and started combing through his soft, brown hair with your hand. He worked tirelessly, his mouth and his fingers caressing your sensitive flesh, and he was determined to do so until you were finishing all over his tongue.

"Chris.." you whispered, his name falling from your lips again, but this time in a tone that indicated that you needed something from him. He peered up at you with his perfectly blue eyes and his drunk expression as he drank from your center. "Hmm?" He hummed against your clit, causing you to raise your hips and grind against his face.

"Your tongue feels heavenly, but I need more. Please," you requested. "More?" He asked, pulling away for a moment. You reached down and gently tugged on the collar of his shirt. "I need you to fuck me, Chris," the words tumbled out of you with fervor.

He was towering over you while you laid on your back, staring up at him like he was a god whose cock was going to bring you eternal salvation. He pulled his shirt off over his head, revealing his gorgeous body to you that had become more muscular in these recent months due to how often he'd been working out.

Your eyes danced over his chest, his stomach, and the prominent lines on his lower abdomen that directed your attention to his hard on that was struggling against the grey cotton of his sweatpants.

Before you had time to take in just how flawless he looked shirtless, he was hooking his thumbs in his waistband and tugging down his bottoms. His dick sprung out, and your gaze followed the way it gently bobbed.

"You ready, angel?" Chris asked, positioning himself between your legs. You stared down at his smooth, pink cockhead that was glistening with precum, and you nodded. Your jaw fell slack at the initial stretch as he pushed the tip into your weeping hole. Chris was much thicker than the man you'd been with earlier that night.

"So big.." you whimpered as he pushed it in a little deeper. A smug smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth. "I know, angel," he said in a breathy groan as you fluttered around him. He started to rock his hips back and forth, inserting more of his length with every thrust. You let out a relieved sigh as he found your gspot, and your eyes rolled around in your head.

Chris gazed down at you beneath him, arms outstretched and tightly gripping his soft sheets. You loved the way he looked hovering above you, his flushed cheeks, his desire-filled blue eyes, and his pouty, pink lips parted as the room filled with his moans.

You felt his hand brush against the inside of your thigh as he spread your legs open further. His thumb found your clit, and he started moving it in circles as he drove himself into you over and over again. You let your sounds of pleasure pour from your lips with reckless abandon as Chris skillfully brought you to the edge.

You felt that divine feeling brewing deep within your core as Chris drilled his cock into you at an increasingly harder and faster pace. He could feel you sucking him in, and the way your pussy was throbbing around him. "You wanna cum, don't you, pretty girl?" He purred, looking into your eyes. "Mhmm," you hummed back desperately.

"How many times?" He asked, smiling down at you. His question surprised you. The man you'd gone on the date with couldn't even make you orgasm once, and now Chris was offering multiple? You were nearly too fucked out to answer him, but you regained your composure long enough to tell him, "three."

"Three? Greedy girl," he teased you, still making circles on your clit with his fingers as he rammed his tip into your gspot. "Show me what you've got, angel," Chris whispered, jolting his hips into you in a rhythmic pattern that he loved the way you reacted to.

Before you knew it, he was driving you over the edge, and your muscles tightened around him before you started to shake violently. You practically screamed in pleasure as you came on his cock, clenching around him uncontrollably which made it hard for him to hold on until your second orgasm, never mind your third. You felt the tension leave your body.

You'd been waiting all night for this feeling, and as you were sinking into the pleasure rippling throughout your system, you felt a second wave coming on. The pressure built so quickly this time, but the release was just as incredible as the first, resulting in you curling your toes and tearing at the sheets beneath you.

Chris was holding on for dear life, trying to get you to your third climax before he let himself cum, and with every powerful thrust into your drooling cunt, the harder it became for him to control his orgasm. He was begging to finish inside of you.

However, he maintained his stamina, pistoning into you at the perfect speed and pressure to get you what you asked for without giving in just yet. You trembled as you came onto his length a third time, leaving a thick ring of white at the base of his shaft.

Once you were completely spent, he snapped his hips forward and held them still, a guttural moan passing through his lips while he pumped you full of his heavenly substance. You could feel him release his load into you, his cock pulsating in your hole and leaving you with an incredible post-orgasmic state. He slowly pulled himself out of you, admiring the beautiful mess he'd left behind.

"How was that, angel? How do you feel?" Chris asked, checking in with you and cradling your face in his palm as he ran his thumb across your cheek. You smiled in sheer bliss, your chest still rising and falling as you caught your breath.

"That was divine. Your cock is like heaven," you whispered into his ear. "Well, angels like you are who heaven was made for," he whispered back.

[allthesethingswillendsoon]

Long, long time

CHAPTER FIVE: There's a first time for everything

SUMMARY: Seventh grade marks some memorable firsts for the girls, both good and bad.

NOTE: Okay whoopsie this lowkey took me ages, but it's over double what I said it would be the other day, but it's not proofread, so if there are any mega plotholes just let me know. I don't mind this one, I think it could've been better but also it's like quite a memorable one for their plot development so like yeah. Also I'm thinking of also posting this on ao3 because I prefer reading on that platform so tell me if you think that's a good or bad idea. Okay, I hope everyone likes it and thinks it's semi-worth the wait.

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Warnings: Little bit of angst, Jealous Paige 6.6k words Pairing: Paige Bueckers x Azzi Fudd

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20th of FEBRUARY, 2015

OAKRIDGE, VIRGINIA

It was a normal, seemingly average Tuesday when it happened.

Paige woke up, she chucked on her clothes and went downstairs. She said a quick goodbye to her dad as he left for work and ate cereal at the kitchen counter. When the clock hit eight she grabbed her backpack and locked the front door. Azzi was waiting at the front gate as always.

They walked to school at a not too slow-not too fast pace, Azzi chattering about her crazy dream the night before - something about gingerbread men and a zombie apocalypse. From the moment they started walking to the moment they stopped, the dark-haired girl made a point to fill the air between them with consistent conversation, not that Paige minded, it was nice to just listen sometimes. 

The first bell rang as they entered the school, and the best friends parted ways for their classes, Paige to Maths and Azzi to French. First period rolled into second period, which rolled into third period. Finally, after an agonizing three hours of education, it was time for lunch.

Tuesday was renowned for having the best lunch, mac and cheese. It was simply mind blowing that the lunch ladies -who were almost always one health code violation away from unemployment- were able to create such delicious food. Each bite was other-worldly, the perfect ratio of pasta to sauce. And after such a draining morning, every student at Oakridge Middle School was absolutely desperate for a taste of heaven.

Paige scoffed at the line of eager kids waiting for their bowl, amateur hour. If they were smart they would have known that you’re allowed to get two bowls, if Miss Amanda likes you that is. All Paige had to say on the matter was that Miss Amanda loved Azzi, arguably more than her own daughter. So, with a proud grin, Paige waltzed her way past the queue over to her lunch table.

Azzi and Paige had sat together at the same lunch table every day since they started middle school. They shared their table with a few other girls in their grade, who they were friendly with. It was a peaceful arrangement, and the cohabitation worked well for both groups.

As she neared the table, Paige felt her heart drop, something was very, very wrong. The state of the cafeteria could be described as pure pandemonium. Each pre-teen wolfing food into their mouths like their lives depended on it, and some of the most violent line-cutting techniques could be observed. Paige herself had been looking forward to their silent lunch break, expecting both her and her best friend to be fully focussing on their food as was normal on a Tuesday.

So, when her table came into sight, there was no doubt that something horrible had happened to Azzi Fudd. The scene was comparable to a renaissance painting, amongst all the chaos sat Azzi, two glorious bowls of mac and cheese in front of her, both of them perfectly untouched. She was staring ahead, eyebrows furrowed as if she was deep in thought. 

There were many things Paige didn’t like about the world, but the thing she liked the least was seeing Azzi distressed. With a deep breath she walked over to the table, prepared to beat up whoever it was that had messed with her best friend.

“Hey Az!” Paige exclaimed as she sat down, her voice filled with so much enthusiasm it seemed almost fake.

“Hey Paige.” Azzi responded, glancing at her with that same pensieve look she’d had when she was sitting by herself.

Okay, now this was concerning. Not to be too full of herself or anything, but Paige was usually a fix-all for any of Azzi’s bad moods, so the fact her presence changed nothing, was definitely an issue. 

“Everything good? You look a bit upset.” 

“No, I'm not upset.” The younger girl answered, giving absolutely no sign of not being upset.

“That’s good, I’m glad to hear that.” Sure, she was glad to hear her best friend say she wasn’t upset, but that statement didn’t mean much when the best friend in question looked like she might drop dead from stress in the next minute.

Just before she was able to continue her investigation, Azzi took in a big breath, as if trying to breathe in all the courage she could, before she started, “Listen Paige, I need to tell you something.”

Oh god, what could it be? A death in the family? An illness? She didn’t even want to think, could she be… moving? No. No. That was not the time for spiralling. Paige took a moment to compose herself. Azzi was clearly upset by whatever was happening, and the last thing Paige wanted was to make her even more upset by reacting anxiously. 

In the most calm tone she could muster, she asked, “Okay?”

“I’ve been keeping a secret from you.” Azzi said. She had clearly tried to sound confident, but the words came out sounding oh-so very sad.

“What? You’re a mob boss or something?” She joked, hoping to take away some of the tension that Azzi seemed to be drowning in.

“No, not that.” She deadpanned. Now, Paige was aware that it wasn’t her best joke, but she still thought it deserved a little laughter. 

Normally Paige’s crappy dad jokes were enough to take Azzi’s mind off whatever was troubling her for at least a second, but nothing was cracking her shell. For a moment, Paige let her composure slip, “Just tell me Az, you’re really stressing me out.”

Then, Azzi’s stressed exterior slipped, giving way to a softer look, the one she saved for Paige, “Okay, so you know Aaron?”

Paige ran through a mental list of kids in their grade before she questioned, “Aaron B or Aaron W?”

“Aaron B.” Azzi replied. It was probably a trick of the light or something, but Paige swore that as her best friend answered the corner of her mouth flickered up into a smile.

“Yeah I know him. Didn’t he pee his pants sleepwalking at sixth grade camp or something?” Paige chuckled at the memory, there was nothing like the silly fun of a school camp.

“That was Aaron W, not Aaron B.” Azzi stated matter-of-factly. 

Not laughing at the mob boss joke, sure Paige could get that. But not laughing at the thought of a twelve year old sleepwalking and sleep-peeing, simply unheard of.

Paige usually had pretty thick skin, but for some reason Azzi’s reaction mellowed her out, “Oh, right.”

For the second time, Azzi softened, her gaze meeting Paige’s almost apologetically, before she continued, “Anyways, so Aaron B?”

It was weird, the way she was acting. Her worried demeanour was a stark contrast to the urgency and statementness of her words. It seemed as if Azzi had been tasked with telling Paige this secret with as little personality as possible.

“What about him?” Paige questioned, deciding to help the younger girl move her explaining along.

“Well…” Azzi started, before suddenly developing the most intense interest in staring at literally anything other than the blonde girl sitting with her. A solid minute of silent waiting passed by, with Paige waiting to see what she had to say, and Azzi questioning if it was too late to back out.

Just when Paige thought she would never hear her best friend speak again, Azzi blurted, “He asked me to be his girlfriend.”

“What?! Paige near-yelled, she had almost stood up from the table in her outrage,“You said no, right?!” 

Who did this chumbag think he was? Asking the Azzi Fudd to be his girlfriend? 

God, it must have felt great for Azzi to put him in his place.

Nothing in the entire, ever-expanding universe could have prepared her for the words that came out of her best friend’s mouth, “I said yes.”

The words dropped like a bomb, waves of shock almost knocking Paige to the ground.

“What the fuck Az!? Why!?” This time Paige stood up from the table, hands slamming down, shaking the bowls of mac and cheese, before Azzi pulled her back down.

She got this shy look on her face as she spoke, her cheeks and ears burning, “I dunno. He’s cute, and he’s nice and funny.” For the first time during that lunch break, Azzi smiled. It was a different smile, one Paige hadn’t seen before. Once she saw it, she immediately wished she could unsee it. There was something about that smile, it held a different weight than her usual ones, like it meant something more, something deeper than when she smiled at Paige.

There was only one explanation, Azzi had gone crazy, and as her lifelong best friend, it was up to Paige to talk some sense into her, “Yeah, so what? I’m all of those things, doesn’t mean you’re gonna date me!”

Paige’s words settled in the air as Azzi returned her gaze to her. For the third time Azzi’s demeanor softened. She looked at her with such lightness, as if the weight of her vision would crack Paige’s skin open. Normally she liked it, but normal definitely did not include her best friend dating some random boy she barely knew,

Paige knew she was strong and she didn’t like to be babied, her exterior was tough and hard to break. The only people she ever really let loose around was her dad, and the Fudds. She knew none of the kids at school would ever be able to pick it, but she was a major dad’s girl. Not in the stereotypical, ‘pink princess’ way, but just in the way that her Dad was her hero, and Bob gave everything he had and more to Paige no matter what. With the Fudds, they were like the extended family she had never really had, being with them was great, she knew she was like a daughter to Katie and Tim, and like a sister to Jon and Jose. That being said, they were the people who saw her at her highs and lows, and they knew when to go hard or easy on her.

But with Azzi it was different. With Azzi she let herself go soft, let her guarded exterior turn mushy. Paige couldn’t count the amount of times she had cried over her mom, over life, tucked into the crook of Azzi’s neck. She would look at her with those soft eyes, and Paige knew it wasn’t patronising, she knew Azzi would never hold her moments of vulnerability against her. It was the only time she would ever let herself be unguarded. 

But in that moment not even the look on Azzi’s face could make her feel better.

Yet, the whole situation was somehow made worse when Azzi spoke again, “It’s different Paige. Surely you’ve had a crush on someone before, it’s just different.” 

With her words, some deep-seated anger arose from Paige. It was a weird feeling, being upset with Azzi - it had never happened before. Why would she say that, “It’s just different.”? Like their friendship meant nothing in comparison to her snapchat streak with a un-potty trained seventh grader.

“Yeah whatever Az.” Paige spat, her voice dripping with venom, “Why don’t you go and change his diaper or something?”

That time, Paige’s words were the ones to shock Azzi, “Why are you mad at me?!” Confusion was etched all across her face. “And also I told you that was Aaron W not B!”

“Same-same. Now if you don’t mind I have some Mac and cheese to eat.” Paige spoke dismissively, turning to give her full attention to her mac and cheese as she poked at it.

Paige avoided eye contact with Azzi like her life depended on it, not even daring to glance at her as she stared at her from across the table. It wasn’t until the second end-of-lunch bell rang that Azzi finally got up, leaving Paige to sit there with her thoughts.

And for the first time ever, Paige sat without Azzi at the table, and binned two, full bowls of mac and cheese.

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24th of FEBRUARY, 2015

OAKRIDGE, VIRGINIA

Paige had never considered herself a violent, or mean person. But there was just something about seeing Azzi and Aaron together that made her want to scream and yell and throw things. There were just so many things to dislike about Aaron, it was really hard to pinpoint exactly what made him so horrible.

Objectively speaking, he wasn’t ugly per se, but he definitely wasn’t a looker either. He had a button nose, a sharp jawline, clear skin, and bright green eyes. 

When she put it like that she knew that it sounded like he could be attractive - but he was not. 

Looking at Aaron was a jarring experience. It had never occurred to Paige how creepy-looking he was until Azzi started dating him.  Aaron had managed to ruin her brooding time, she couldn’t glare at her best friend without seeing his ugly face, or hearing his revolting voice - or worse, his laugh.

When she heard two girls in English talking about how lucky Azzi was to be his girlfriend she barely stopped herself from turning and strangling them both, and instead shut her mouth as tight as she could, and clenched her fists till her knuckles were pure white. 

To take her mind off the situation, she imagined him as a child, coming home from yet another lonely, friendless day at school to find his mother hosting an afternoon tea with her friends. They would fawn over him, and say “You’re going to be such a heartbreaker!” as they pinched his cheeks. Of course, they all knew it wasn’t the truth, but that’s just what you say to unfortunate looking kids, who grow up to be unfortunate looking pre-teens that ask out girls way out of their league.

Maybe what irked her was the fact that Azzi had smiled when she spoke about him, that saying the things she liked about him broke her out of her broody trance. Or maybe it was the way her cheeks had tinted the prettiest pink. How the galaxies in her dark brown eyes lit up a thousand times brighter. How the dimple in her cheek popped when she hung out with him, how her laughter at his shitty jokes echoed through the halls, honey sweet and sing-songy.

It was only when she came upon that specific reason for not liking him that she realised that maybe that gnawing, sour feeling that had settled low in her belly was something more akin to jealousy. And then, in the same strand of thoughts she decided to stop thinking altogether about why she didn’t like him, and instead just double down on the fact that Aaron sucked and she absolutely hated him. 

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27th of FEBRUARY, 2015

OAKRIDGE VIRGINIA

The final nail in the coffin came when Paige left her third period Spanish class. 

It was a Tuesday, which meant the best mac and cheese in the world. But it also meant it had been a week since Paige and Azzi had last spoken.

If avoiding Azzi was an olympic sport, then Paige had become a twenty-time gold medalist.

 For the first few days they weren’t talking, Paige made a point to stay in Azzi’s vision. She had decided that if she had to be reminded of the emptiness of Azzi in her life, then Azzi should be reminded of Paige. She made sure to be subtle with it, instead of standing directly in front of her, she’d ensure that Azzi would catch glimpses of her from her peripheral vision. Paige would watch as Azzi would spot her, then she would force herself to keep a straight face as she watched her best friend apologise to Aaron for forgetting what it was he had been saying.

That whole thing had been going perfectly, exactly to plan, but then it just started to make her really sad and really angry, and then, of course, her only option was to avoid Azzi, no matter what it took.

She thought it would be simple, she knew Azzi's entire timetable, she knew which hallways she walked down, she wouldn’t be surprised if she could estimate the amount of steps it took for her to get from point A to B. So in theory, it should’ve been smooth sailing to stay away from her, but nothing in her life had been easy, except Azzi - up until that point.

Aaron simply had to ruin, not only her friendship with her best friend, but also her ploy to never see her again. Obviously, because she wasn’t weird, she had absolutely zero idea about Aaron’s timetable, let alone his whereabouts, and in the past week the boyfriend-girlfriend duo had become attached at the hip, meaning it was nearly impossible to avoid them. The key word being nearly.

Paige had been working tirelessly to avoid the both of them, and somehow she had been able to manage it. Her genius strategy? Waiting till the second bell to leave for her next class. On the negative side, she had sprinted away from basically every hall monitor in the school multiple times. But on the positive, she had not seen Aaron and Azzi together in days, which was basically all she wanted.

As glad as she was to not see them together, it was the first time ever that Paige wasn’t on speaking terms with Azzi, and it made her really, really sad. Which was why she wasn’t thinking straight when she left third period Spanish and walked her usual route to the cafeteria - out the language corridor, round the gym, past Aaron and Azzi holding hands, then home-free into the cafeteria.

What. The. Actual. Fucking. Fuck.

Paige isn’t a squeamish person in the least, but the sight of Azzi’s soft hand encased in Aaron’s sweaty one nearly made her throw up. It was surreal, it felt like time had paused, like Paige was floating in time, stuck in place staring at them as they walked hand-in-hand down the hall.

She could have stayed in her trance all day, glued down in the centre of the hallway, but thanks to Mac and cheese Tuesday the hordes of smelly tweens are pushing her forward towards the cafeteria.

Just like the week before she walked past the lunch line and went straight to her table. Since Azzi had been sitting with Aaron and his little minions, Paige had been left to sit with the girls they shared their table with. There were four of them, and they were nice, something Paige had never cared to notice, too busy with Azzi to pay attention to the girls sitting two feet away from them.

They were nice in all the cliche ways, but what made their kindness stand out was the fact they had not mentioned Azzi once, and had simply invited Paige into their conversations. It was good for her to talk to other people, to get out of her head. 

She was aware that she hadn’t been looking or acting her best since the previous Tuesday, but no one had said anything or shown a reaction to her disheveled appearance. It was only on that Tuesday, when Paige had stomped her way to the table that the girls had acknowledged her delicate state.

“Hey Paige!” Shania greeted, her friendly smile quickly growing concerned as she and the rest of the group took in her severely agitated condition, “Are you alright?”

“Wha- Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Nothing to worry about here!” The table continued to stare at her worriedly, perhaps more so after her seemingly, self-assuring response.

“Oookay, cool.” Shania responded, voice filled with nothing but good-willed apprehension.

The table fell into silence, the girls trying to figure out how to deal with Paige’s nuclear state, and Paige trying to act as normal as she could after seeing her best friend of seven years holding hands with a grubby boy.

“Oh my gosh, I forgot to tell you about this Paige! There’s a party this Friday at Ryan’s, and you should totally come along!” Emma squealed at her excitedly.

“Yeah, sure, I’d like that.” Paige responded, trying her hardest to sound happy despite herself.

“Yay! I’ll text you the deets,” Emma said, passing Paige her phone, encased in pink diamontes, “Put your number in.”

Paige dutifully poked in her phone number before handing it back. The girls fell into conversation about the party, talking about drinks and other people that were going. Paige was content with letting it go in one ear and out the other, until she heard the name ‘Aaron B’ sandwiched in between the names of the other partygoers.

Aaron going to the party meant Azzi going to the party, that meant they were both going to the party that Paige was going to. Great. Just great. She would get front row seats to their love-fest, how exciting.

For some reason that knowledge didn’t make her cancel, instead it fueled her with reasons to go. She wanted to be there, and wanted to be the one to surprise Azzi with her presence. She wanted her to feel that same stomach dropping feeling she had felt all week, she wanted to be the one with the upper hand. Another, softer part of her, wanted her first, boy-girl, alcohol party to be the same as Azzi’s, even if they weren’t experiencing it together, together.

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2nd of MARCH, 2015

OAKRIDGE VIRGINIA

The school day had dragged on for so long Paige had accepted the fact that it would never end, meaning she nearly cried tears of joy when the end-of-school bell had rung out through the halls.

Ever since Tuesday she had been buzzing with both nerves and excitement. She was convinced that going to her first proper party would cause some cosmic shift within her universe, like the clouds would part and the angels would sing to her the second her hands touched the glass of a lukewarm berry cruiser.

With much more enthusiasm than necessary she had swiped her book into her backpack and power-walked out of school. That had become a prime part of the ‘avoiding Azzi’ plan, leaving way too early for school in the morning, and booking out of school the second it ended to make sure their paths didn’t cross.

As she walked into their street, a pang of guilt struck through her chest at the sight of the Fudd house. It had been killing her, not just the radio silence between her and Azzi, but the subsequent disconnect that had happened between her and the rest of Azzi’s family. 

It was odd, she hadn’t felt the shoulder punches from Jon and Jose in over a week. Hadn’t been yelled at motherly by Katie in over a week. Hadn’t been pulled into a daughter and extra-daughter hug by Tim in over a week. They were things that were a part of her daily life that she had always taken for granted, assuming they’d always be there. 

That wasn’t the only thing she had missed, mostly she had been missing Azzi. Paige missed her so much, she just missed everything about her. And she had officially decided that she would try to make up with Azzi, preferably as soon as possible. Her best case scenario had her hoping for a reconciliation at the party that night. All she had to do was pull her away from Aaron and she was golden, she was one hundred percent sure that Azzi would forgive her once she apologised, because she really was sorry.

The more and more she thought about the whole situation the more she realised how absolutely crazy she had been acting, from quite literally the moment Azzi told her. It was like a switch had flipped in her brain, and all rational thinking had been thrown out the window.

As she showered and got dressed for the party Paige was growing increasingly excited at the prospect of speaking to Azzi again after what felt like a lifetime of separation.

She got her dad to drop her off at seven-thirty at Ryan’s house. Her dad had given her a stern talking to about drugs and alcohol, and the dangers of them. 

Unfortunately, Bob would have been severely disappointed to find out that Paige had accepted a cruiser immediately upon arrival. As excited as she was to talk to Azzi, she was also desperately nervous about going to her first party, and having to enter by herself. Although the cruiser didn’t reveal cosmic secrets to her, it did send the lightest buzz through her, and inspire her to go to the kitchen and concoct a wickedly bitter vodka-juice blend in a plastic red cup.

After a while of floating around, Paige spotted Shania and her friends in the corner, and quickly made her way towards them. As she does she scans the room for Azzi and/or Aaron. That still made her upset, that they were now always together, like Paige and Azzi usually were, but whatever, Paige was there to make up with Azzi, not trash on her stupid boyfriend.

She walked up to the girls and fell into the simple chatter that they constantly had going. It was nice, they were nice, the way the alcohol made her feel was nice. She was content, simply standing there huddled in a circle with them as they discussed something Paige really didn’t care about. It appeared they were going to stay like that, until someone yelled ‘Spin the bottle time!’.

Suddenly, everyone, including Paige, was shoved into the basement, a large, misshapen circle of people sat in the centre of the room. Scanning the room once again, Paige finally saw her.

Azzi was sitting in the circle, pressed up against Aaron on one side and some random cheerleader on the other. She was wearing a pink sweater and her nicest pair of jeans, her hair was out and her lips were glossed a soft mauve. To put it simply, she looked really pretty.

Paige was leaning against a wall, her third drink and second cruiser of the night held firmly in her hand. She had opted out of the game, not wanting to have to swap spit with some stupid boy in her grade if the bottle were to land on her.

It suddenly hit her that she was sitting out of the game because she didn’t want to kiss someone, and that Azzi was sitting in on the game because she did want to kiss someone. And that someone would obviously be her boyfriend.

The thought of Azzi kissing him made her shudder, but she pushed it to the side. Azzi was her best friend and it should not have mattered to Paige who she kissed, so she decided not to care.

For the amount of hype the game had received, it was actually quite boring. Someone would spin the bottle, the bottle would land on someone, they would kiss, then the process would repeat. It wasn’t until Kathy Libertman spun the bottle and it landed on Johnny Albertson that there were some oohs and aahs. The fact that Kathy had the world’s most massive crush on Johnny was as widely accepted as the fact that two plus two equals four.

As Paige chuckled at the spin she glanced towards Azzi, who looked up at her at that exact moment. Instead of looking away like she would have a few days ago she held her gaze, blue eyes on brown for the first time in too long, and smiled just a little. A look of confusion mixed with shock passed over Azzi’s face before the corner’s of her mouth flicked up.

God that felt good. The cruisers hadn’t changed her life, but seeing her best friend smile at her like that again made Paige think that maybe the universe was on her side.

After Johnny had adeptly swerved Kathy, a few more rounds passed. Then, it was Aaron’s turn. Azzi was trying to play it cool, but Paige knew every single one of her nervous tells, the clench of her jaw and the furrow of her brows softening for a second as Paige gave her an encouraging nod.

Aaron reached into the circle and spun the empty coke bottle. It spun and spun and spun before coming to a perfect stop between Azzi and the cheerleader next to her.

The chatter of the room dissipated immediately as everyone watched in anticipation. Azzi was visibly distressed, and even Paige was nervous as to where the situation was headed.

Aaron hesitated for a moment, his gaze flickering between his girlfriend, the strawberry-blonde girl next to her, and the coke bottle. With a big intake of air, he leant forward over Azzi and kissed the cheerleader. The room erupted in a mix of confusion and support.

Everyone in the room was watching as Aaron and the cheerleader kissed for what seemed like forever, but Paige had her eyes trained on Azzi, who looked like a deer in the headlights stuck between them. Pushing through the room, Paige reached a hand out to Azzi who gladly took it and let herself be pulled out of the room and onto the street.

They stood in companionable silence, there were things they needed to say, but not yet.

It was nearing eleven o’clock when Paige called her dad to pick them up. The night air was chilly but when Paige’s hand brushed against Azzi, her whole body heated up from her best friend’s warmth.

Paige didn’t know if Azzi had been drinking or not, but she knew when they got into her dad’s car that he would know that Paige had in fact been drinking, and hadn’t heeded her dad’s warning. She expected a lecture on the danger of drinking but instead was met with absolutely zero conversation directed towards her, instead, her dad was talking to Azzi, catching up with her about the past week and a half of their lives. It hadn’t occurred to her till then that Azzi was just as much a part of her family as Paige was a part of hers - she had missed Azzi in her life so much.

The two girls went straight to Paige’s room and Bob to his. Only when they were tucked safely into the gentle warmth of the bedroom did Paige speak, “Listen, I’m really sorry Az. I don’t know why I was being so crazy, he just made me so upset, like I knew you were way out of his league and I just knew that you deserved way, way better than him.”

After her rant Paige sort of expected Azzi to get mad at her and let out her anger at the whole situation, yet Azzi simply smiled, “Yeah you were being pretty crazy, but I’m sorry too”

Paige scoffed at that, earning a confused chuckle from Azzi, “What are you sorry for? You literally did nothing wrong.”

“Well I should’ve told you ages ago, we had been texting every night for two whole weeks before he asked me out, and I don’t really know why I didn’t tell you… It’s just  that I was really worried you were gonna react… exactly like you reacted, y’know?” The curly-haired girl explained.

“Yeah, I get that, I did have like the worst reaction a person could have,” Paige confessed softly  “I mean, I’m just so sorry Az, I wish I never got angry, I’ve missed you so much.” 

Azzi pulled the blonde in for a hug, her head nestled in the crook of Azzi’s neck, the familiar, sweet aroma of her perfume filling her senses.

With a squeeze Azzi pulled away, before she flopped face-first onto Paige’s bed, “God that was so embarrassing.”

It was quite the situation, but it was definitely way more embarrassing for Aaron, like, fumbling the single-most pretty and smart and kind and funny girl in the whole school. She decided against saying that, and instead tried to lighten the situation, “Could’ve been worse, you saw what happened to Kathy.”

“Yeah, but Johnny’s not her boyfriend.” Azzi mumbled from her spot splayed out on Paige’s bed.

“That’s true I guess.” Paige responded thoughtfully, accepting defeat.

“Great. thanks Paigey.” She grumbled light-heartedly.

Right before Paige went to apologise Azzi sprang up into a sitting position on the bed, “It just sucks y’know?”

“Yeah I know.” Paige hummed in agreement. Their shoulders were pressed together again, and Paige could feel the touch and the alcohol mixing and making her brain short circuit a little 

“Like I really thought I was gonna have my first kiss tonight” Azzi huffed in upset annoyance.

“Well look on the bright side, he’s a mega dick, so really you dodged a bullet.” Paige reassured her. 

As much as she was glad that Azzi had found out what a douche he was, she wished even more that it had happened quietly, not in front of a big crowd of people.

“You’re actually quite right.” Azzi agreed after considering her statement for a moment.

Paige playfully shoved her with her shoulder, “Of course I am.”

Azzi went quiet for a second before she turned to look Paige in the eyes, “Yeah. I want my first kiss to mean something. To be with someone that really cares about me and stuff.”

The words came from her mouth before she could think about what she was saying, “I mean you still could.” 

Paige didn’t know what it was that made her say that. Maybe it was the liquid courage from before. Or maybe it was the adrenaline from making up with her best friend. Or maybe, just maybe, it was the way the streetlight glow filtering in through the windows was hitting Azzi’s cheekbones just right, how her lashes were long and her lips full. How Paige wasn’t sure she had ever truly appreciated Azzi’s beauty before the way it was meant to be.

“What do you mean?” Azzi asked. It seemed like a question, but with the way Azzi was batting her eyelashes at her, it started to seem more like a challenge.

Paige’s brain actually did short circuit for a split second that time, but then, mostly thanks to the liquor, she decided to just double down and speak with confidence.

“I think you know what I mean” She responded, her blue eyes flickering from Azzi’s doe-y brown ones to her soft lips.

Almost imperceptibly, Azzi shifted closer. 

“Yeah.” She breathed out shakily, breaking eye contact to not so subtly look at Paige’s mouth.

“So can I?” Paige asked, moving her hand to rest on Azzi’s shoulder; confidence suddenly oozing out of her every pore.

“Yes.” Azzi responded quickly, her eyes trained only on her best friend’s mouth, before starting again, as if trying to regain some dignity, “Yeah. Yes please.”

Paige gave a soft smile before moving her hand up to cup Azzi’s jaw, the other settling feather-light on her waist. She watched as Azzi’s breath hitches, and her eyes flickered close. Paige followed suit, leaning in slowly. Azzi’s hands were hovering over both of her shoulders, as if unsure of what to do. Paige doesn’t mind though, if it weren’t for the alcohol that was running amok through her system they probably wouldn’t have even been in that situation in the first place.

After an eternity of leaning in, their lips touched in a soft peck. Only for a second, before they pulled away. Azzi tasted sweet, like canned lemonade and strawberry scented lip gloss. Her skin was warm under Paige’s hands.

Maybe it had been minutes or days or years since their kiss, neither were sure. All Paige knew was that she wanted to kiss Azzi again, and so she did. That time she let herself linger, let herself apply a little bit of pressure, and in return Azzi pressed in a little harder too. When Azzi made a little sound of contentment Paige thought she might explode. She wanted to keep going, but something told her to stop, to let it be good just as it was.

When she pulled away and opened her eyes, Azzi still had hers closed. And for a split second, Paige swore she caught a smile on her face, a kind of smile she had never given to Paige before.

Now that was it. That was the cosmic feeling Paige had been waiting for. Scratch the cruisers, scratch everything else, that was the feeling. The kind that people chase their whole lives, and Paige had just experienced it on a random Friday night in the quiet of her room.

Friendship really was magical. 

Azzi was her best friend, of course it would be her, they were the closest of all platonic soulmates.

A few seconds later, Azzi opened her eyes, and smiled at her. Her hands were still on Paige’s shoulders and she decided that she wouldn’t mind holding onto each other like that forever.

Kicking off their shoes they surrendered to wearing their outside clothes to sleep. Paige had a double bed, which was the absolute perfect size for two people in Azzi’s opinion.

They tangled together in a mess of warm limbs under the blanket. Azzi had her head on Paige’s chest, listening to the rhythmic thumping of her heartbeat.

“Thanks Paigey. I’m glad you were my first kiss” She whispered against her jumpered chest.

“I’m glad you were mine too Az, that’s what best friends are for, right?” Paige smiled good-naturedly, her chin coming to rest against Azzi’s head.

Azzi let out a little choked sound before she responded, “Yeah, best friends, totally.”

Paige ignored the weird way she was talking - it had been a long night - and pulled Azzi into her just a little tighter, prepared to let sleep take over.

Just when she thought she was about to fall asleep she heard Azzi’s whisper again, “Paige, you were right.”

“Yeah I usually am.” Paige smirked sleepily.

“So full of yourself, god.” Azzi said as she used her arm draped around Paige’s waist to poke her in the side.

Wincing slightly Paige gloated, “That’s like the second time you’ve said something like that to me tonight.”

“Yeah whatever you goof.” Azzi conceded, seemingly forgetting about whatever it was she had to say.

Paige wanted to sleep, but she wanted to know what it was that Azzi was going to tell her, “Wait, so what specifically was I right about?” she asked as she gave Azzi’s shoulder a soft squeeze.

“Oh right” Azzi spoke softly, “It was Aaron B.”

Azzi always got a little out of it when she was tired, but she always remembered to finish her sentences, “It was Aaron B, what?”

Paige thought she had fallen back asleep after Azzi had gone silent for so long, but after taking a quick inhale of breath Azzi answered quietly, “It was Aaron B that peed his pants on sixth grade camp.”

If it weren’t for the fact Paige was so determined to know what Azzi had said she would have missed the softly spoken words, but she didn’t and she was so glad she heard them.

Paige burst out laughing and Azzi followed along.

“You’re kidding me!” Paige wheezed between gasps.

But Azzi was too busy laughing so hard she could barely breathe, clutching onto Paige’s arm as her mouth opened wide in silent laughter.

That was how they fell asleep, tucked into one another as their heaving laughter gave way to shallow, sleeping breath.

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Feel free to send me asks or opinions and stuff in my inbox or DMs, responding to them is my favourite it's so much fun. As always, thanks for reading :)

[hscherrywine]

Tired Teasing

Summary: A relaxing night with Harry takes a naughty turn. Some more cute fluffy smut. Harry is a tease and you’re tired.

wc: 2.1k

warnings: none really just some smut, female receiving

Ever since you and your boyfriend, Harry, decided to become serious, Sundays have been your favorite day of the week. The two of you have the day off almost every week and always make the most of it.

The day itself was great - being able to be lazy with Harry and watch some movies. But now it was night and the two of you were getting ready for bed. You took a shower and got cozy in your fresh sheets, excited to read some of your current book read. Harry was somewhere downstairs finishing up some chores he’d promise to do.

If you could capture a feeling, it would be this one. So content with life that nothing could bring you down. Plus part of your nighttime routine tonight was an everything shower because you just needed some “me time”. You felt so relaxed and comforted by your bed.

You lay peacefully on your side, book in hand, curled up under the covers. You were waiting for Harry to come up to bed. Before you knew it, you heard his footsteps padding up the stairs. Within minutes he wandered into your room. You put your book down so transfixed by his being. He walked into your sight line since you were still lying on your side. You watched in awe as he changed from his everyday clothes into something more comfortable to sleep in.

Without even saying a word to you yet, he found his way to bed. His body dipped behind you and your body ignited. He was quick to wrap himself up in you, hugging your body from behind.

“Did you like the show?” He asks and you know he was aware that you watched him get dressed. Your cheeks flush feeling called out a bit, but you know he can’t see because your back is pressed to his front. You’re glad you're not facing each other because you can hear the smirk in his voice.

You don’t respond to his comment. Partly because you had no shame in watching your hot boyfriend strip and another part because you were too tired to engage him. Harry could sense this or something because he didn’t antagonize you much more, he just snuggled himself deeper into your neck like he couldn’t get close enough. You liked when he was soft and clingy with you.

His hands rubbed up and down your arms as he made small talk with you about your days. You loved being able to unwind with him like this. It was all very casual, him pressing mindless gentle kisses to your exposed skin as you talked. Until, he got a bit more carried away and you could tell that he was looking for a bit more.

“Harry…” you start but only trail off. The half of you that is exhausted just want to go to bed, but the other half always melts at his touch. Which one will win? you still don’t know. He keeps going up and down your neck and shoulders showing his affection until you call out his name again seeming slightly aggravated. He stops briefly, but only to get a few words out.

“You always smell so good..can’t stay away.” He mumbles and you feel his breath on you. That’s how close you two were. He reaches up to move your wet hair away from your shoulders to get closer to the spot he knows you love. “Can’t believe you showered without me baby.” He admits.

His affection tonight was undeniably adorable, so you give in. “I was waiting for you, why do you think it took me so long in there?” you tease. Truth is, you did take a long shower tonight, but not entirely for his sake.

“We’re not good at showering together.” He admits breaking away from you. “We never end up clean after those.” He jokes and you know exactly what he means. Memories come flooding back of times the two of had sex in your marble shower. “We’re not good at a lot of things, Harry, we always end up just having sex or something.” you laugh. It’s funny because it is entirely true. The two of you just can’t resist each other it’s like in your pheromones or something. Even mundane tasks like cleaning, doing the dishes, or folding laundry tempt the two of you. Right now is no different. With every delicate touch from Harry, you were getting less relaxed and more worked up and you were unsure if that was part of his plan or not.

“Look at us right now.” you point out “We can’t even relax in bed without being horny.” you scoff.

“Who said anything about that?” Harry asks playing dumb. Not cute. He doesn’t get to purposely rile you up and then pretend like that wasn’t his intentions.

“I know what you’re doing, Harry, and honestly i’m not sure if I have the energy right now.” You confess to him, still facing away. You know he respects your boundaries and everything but you’re shy to admit it.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want Y/N, but what if I do something for you. You know..just so you don’t over do anything.” He suggests. The idea is very tempting. At this point he was already slotting his leg in between your thighs and slowly moving the two of you so you were facing each other more. When you don’t immediately answer, Harry places a kiss away from your back and neck and on your check instead. The sweet gesture has you turning to face him with a smile. The two of you look at each other for the first time tonight all tangled together.

When you look into his eyes, you give in completely. After mere seconds, you are the one making the moves. You lean in the short distance to kiss your boyfriend in the lips for the first time tonight. The action is desperate in itself and quickly deepens. You hand Harry wrapped up in each other find a rhythm with your lips and body. All you can do is moan into his movements.

His hands trail up your back trying to squeeze you closer into him. Eventually they find their way under the hem of your shirt and up to your bra. Without breaking the kiss, he unclasps it like he has a hundred times before.

Slightly in awe you pull away and notice a guilty smirk on his face for what he just did. It’s one of your favorite things that he does. “I’ll never get tired of you doing that.” you says to him. “And i’ll never get tired of how perfect your body is” He compliments. You don’t always agree with the compliments he showered you with. Sometimes you feel like he says things just to make you happy, but the way he delivers them is impossible to make them insincere.

It’s like he can hear your thoughts going round in your head. “I mean it, baby, every time. Everything about you is so perfect.” He rambles. He goes back to his favorite position with his mouth on yours. This time his hands travel back to your back but they take of your shirt instead. His is quick to come off too.

“I know my girl is tired and it’s been a long week, but I just need to appreciate you a little.” he whispers to you. The energy between you two is heating up so much so he is practically above you at this point. He is taking in your body with his eyes even though the two of you are still under the covers. Harry isn’t a huge fan of that and gently exposes the two of you from your bedding. It is here where he notices that the shirt he removed from you was the only thing you wore to bed.

He is slightly shocked by the discovery. “You had me doubting the mood tonight, but here you were all ready for me.” he scolds. You rarely sleep completely naked so this is a surprise for him. He can’t contain himself now running his hands up and down your thighs. Teasing you with a soft touch. He makes the split decision to move from your upper body to focus on your lower half. He did a lot of teasing already when the two of you were mindlessly chatting. He didn’t think he had that much of an effect on you until he revealed what was under the conversation and it became every apparent.

He slowly worked his way down until he was inches away from your core. He was slow to give you what you wanted, knowing that you were struggling without his conceding. He kissed and sucked in your thighs until he couldn’t contain himself. He gently ran one finger up and down your folds just to gather some arousal. He then sucked his digit clean and leaned back up for a kiss.

“Relax for me. I’m gonna make you feel so good before we go to sleep.” He mutters traveling back down to your heat. This time he gently caresses two digits on your labia but careful not do really pay attention to your clit yet. He was too teasing in his actions that you reached your hands up to play with your own tits while he teased your bottom half.

“Normally I’d be upset with you for touching yourself, but just this once you can because you look so hot tonight” he smiles completely enticed by the way your hold and squeeze your own breasts.

“I wouldn’t have to if you just gave me what I wanted.” you shoot back, tired of his teasing.

“And what is it that you want to bad baby?” He asks looking into your eyes and adding pressure on his fingers.

“Mouth. Fingers. I want it all Harry. I need it.” you whine at him. your hands move from your breasts to to clutch at the sheets beside you.

Before you know it, he’s feverishly answering your prayers. Wasting no time at all he inserted two digits into your wetness. The interruption made you gasp especially since you were so sensitive from Harry’s games earlier.

He wanted to be slow and take your time on you tonight since you needed to relax but he knew that it wouldn’t be possible. He abandoned all his plans and dove right into your cunt. Mouth attached and sucking feverishly on your clit and his fingers worked their way rhythmically in and out. Your release was approaching embarrassingly fast, but you knew you couldn’t give in.

You kept your eyes on him buried between your legs. Every time he does this you swear he gets better. You’ve never met someone who loved giving hess as much as Harry does. He out does himself every time. His fingers worked at a perfect pace moving all around your soft walls. they curled against the spongy area inside of you and encouraged your hole to leak and squelch.

In response he would just lick it up and go back to your clit. You were in heaven when he went down on you. You think he even bit your clit at some point to get you closer but you were too pleasured to even realize.

Listening to Harry’s advice about relaxing, you didn’t clench you body as your orgasm approached. You fought the tightening for your limbs and reached a whole new feeling. This was different than any other orgasm.

Harry could read your body like a book and knew you were about to come. He slowed to an agonizing halt only to receive an aggravated groan from you that he just brushed off. He was trying to work you up even more but quickly threw the bit out. The pleasure was too intense to risk at this point. Harry himself was grinding his hips into the bed to try and keep himself from exploding.

Your breaths became shallow and Harry’s grew intense. Your orgasm is seconds away from hitting you and your boyfriend is giving you everything he has.

“You gonna come for me baby? he asks taking his mouth away for a second. The cool air hits your clit and it’s almost enough to put you over the edge. Instead he takes his hands from inside you and rubs your clit with them until you release onto his hands.

He laps up the rest of the area with his tongue snd kisses your pelvis and thighs for a bit while you come down.

Your eyes are even heavier than before when you come down. The adrenaline wears off and you are left tired. “You want me to help you out now babe?” you offer but you can even get it out without a yawn. “Don’t worry about me.” He remind you “Just get some rest now honey.” he says crawling back up next to you.

He wraps his arms around your stomach after pulling the duvet back up to your necks. Between his hold and the sheets, you were ready to pass out.

So much for that shower, you ended up going to bed dirty after all. But all of it was worth it because Sunday nights with your boyfriend are the highlight of your week.

a/n: i swear i can write other things than my usual cute coupley tropes…i just choose not to rn. Also I wrote this while watching the chiefs lose the superbowl.

[formylovetodaryldixon]

"You are." Daryl Dixon Imagine.

To Daryl, you are different, you are special, you are everything. But when his jealousy over a "prank" from your friend leads to a misunderstanding you can't resolve, and an incident the next day that nearly costs you your life, it causes Daryl to have a huge revelation about his feelings for you.

@artsynana: heyy dear!! i was wondering if you could ever write something with some soft jealous daryl x reader at the prison era, btw i love the way you write daryl🥰

A/N: Hi love. First, sorry! I didn't know you had left a request :( but thank you so much for doing it. This is a little short and different :( and a little more dramatic, but I really hope you like it♥ And for your words, thank u again! I think I write Daryl a little bit off the character, but I guess it's because I picture him like that hehe

Daryl Dixon is not a possessive person, never, but he is not made of steel either, that’s way he’s unable to stop jealousy from creeping up on him.

The night is ending inside the prison, the heat of the day floating in the air, but the still warm weather seems to hang over Daryl almost in a suffocating way. As he continues to wait for his dinner, he has a panoramic view of you across the dining room, sitting in the long steel chair, elbows on the table, always accompanied by that pretty boy Sean, with his stupid green eyes and that stupid smile, following you ever since Daryl rescued his group from the governor.

And Daryl hates not being able to hate you for the senseless jealousy that you make him feel now, as he thought he did in the past.

Daryl hated ​​you for being a badass, like the afternoon you showed up to save his ass back in Atlanta, like a force of nature, like a fucking storm–sweeping away the little peace he managed to find at the end of the world, shaking his own with your magnetic presence. But he also hated how your strong gaze could rest, turning you into an angel when he could see the tenderness in your soft smile, and your dreamy eyes when things got a little bit better in that grey world.

The secret of his hate was because of your selfishness, your wild and free heart, and that fucking dimple that formed on your left cheek, so yeah, he fell hard for that, he fell hard for you. But no one knew about your relationship, everyone blind to those little displays of affection: the casual brush of your hands, the secret smiles, the way his hand rested on the side of your neck before he kissed you.

“You are like… staring much. Don't you think?" Carol chuckles beside him, making Daryl look away from you as he takes his plate. "Damn, pookie, you are not subtle at all."

She continues with the bland jokes; the same ones she’s been making since Carol caught the way Daryl looked at you.

"Shut up." He hisses, turning his attention back to the food.

But Carol is not ready to give up.

"I once read that when a feeling is silenced, bottled up or imprisoned, the eyes, the lover’s gazes scream everything."

Daryl frowns, confused.

"What the hell are ya talkin’ ‘bout?"

She chuckles, crossing her arms.

"Oh, nothing. I'm just saying that maybe you should start making it clear to everyone that (Y/N) is with you."

He clears his throat, but the heat on his cheeks burns more than the sun on that season.

"Ya knew?"

"No. You just told me." Carol turns around towards the pot to serve herself a plate, Daryl narrowing his eyes at her, even if she isn’t looking at him.

"But, uh... like what?" He asks after a few seconds, hoping that Carol will understand the question without him having to spell it out for her.

She shrugs.

“I don’t know. Maybe approach her not only when you two are alone.”

Carol smiles at Daryl, walking away to leave him with the weight of his thoughts.

Daryl Dixon is a strong man, to survive, to protect, but as a boy who grew tall but is still a boy on the inside, he feels lost with the feelings he keeps inside him, not knowing what to do with them. He had had casual encounters in bars, but was too drunk to even remember, to even care about them. But you are different, you are special, you are everything. That’s why, even with his heart hammering in his chest, Daryl walks over to the last table, eyes fixed on your profile, his sometimes noisy mind disappearing the rest as he sets his plate down on the table before sitting down next to you, ignoring the confused look from Sean, who was silent for a second in shock before resuming his story of a past life on his farm with the rest.

“The lake water is cold during that season…” He keeps talking, oblivious to the way you hold your breath when you feel Daryl's fingers on your lower back.

But out of nowhere, his hand begins to seek out the skin beneath, a light touch over the edge of your black t–shirt until he finds the warmth of your flesh. Your back arches slightly beneath his calloused fingers on your skin, but you try to control your body as your dirty thoughts begin to overflow.

The small group is so wrapped up in the funny anecdote that no one notices the way Daryl leans in close.

"Breathe, peach, ‘fore ya pass out."

His words are the jolt back to reality, and you let out a breath as you squint, your hand darting from your lap to his leg, only to pinch his skin over his pants with your fingers. As a reflex, his leg jumps slightly, but Daryl takes the attack with a smirk that is almost imperceptible to the rest of them, but not to you.

"Isn't that right, (Y/N)?" Sean glances in your direction, catching your gaze and a confused expression that silently prompts him to repeat his question. "You told me you dated a guy who looked like me."

Confused, you clear your throat.

“Yeah. Uh, but we separated long before all this...”

Mary nods, a young woman who came with Sean’s group.

“Wow. He must have been really handsome. But did you love him, (Y/N)?”

Your skin feels cold again when Daryl's hand leaves your body, even if your skin feels boiling hot when the attention falls on you like the midday sun in that stifling season. As if someone had put their hand on your throat until it was blocked from air, your uncomfortable laughter comes out muffled, but you don’t answer before changing topics. But it's sad that after a short while, Daryl stands up to go to his own cell, his thoughts run wild about the jealousy he feels about that guy, thinking that there was someone who made you feel something when, for him, you were his first everything.

When dinner time is over and everyone returns to their cells, you find yourself timidly entering Daryl's cell only because his door was still open, but staying close to it. He’s lying on his back, eyes fixed on the arrow in his hands just to keep himself busy.

“Hey. Uh, can we talk?”

“’bout what?”

His voice is flat, not a single emotion in it.

“About what happened in the dining room with Sean.”

 “What ‘bout it?”

You shrug, even if he isn’t looking at you.

“Don’t know exactly, but I think I made you feel uncomfortable.”

Daryl scoffs.

“Ya didn't make me feel anythin’.”

His words form a lump in your throat, completely silencing the truth you were going to tell, just because your own anxious mind tells you that you don't make him feel anything, at all, like never, and that is painful.

“Okay, uh, I don’t want to force you to talk so… I guess I’m gonna go. Oh, we'll leave early tomorrow for the run, by the way.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

You sigh, walking away.

But jealousy is an irrational force, but a force of nature that resembles a hurricane, or any destructive phenomenon inside a timid and fearful mind: that’s why when the early morning arrives and the first ray of sun shines on the horizon, Daryl decides to switch places with Glenn, just so he wouldn't be stuck with his thoughts of you in a car for hours.

However, the day grows tedious for him, even in the small details like the wind blowing dust into his face, or the way the walkers keep piling up against the fence, taking the place of the lifeless body when Daryl stabs his knife into their skulls. But before his ocean–blue eyes can see the car returning at a worrying speed, his ears can hear the horn, like a desperate call that makes his heart wake up frantically.

“Someone is hurt.” Carol tells him, a second before they start running towards the main fence.

Maggie and Rick are closer and they open the gates, the car raising tornadoes of dust until it stopped inside the prison. Michonne steps out of the passenger seat as Daryl and Carol arrive to meet her, Bob and Glenn following as she begins to narrate the horror story.

“… and one of those men was behind me, (Y/N) shot him but another stabbed her in the abdomen.”

The back door of the car is open, but like a roller coaster of emotions, Daryl’s heart is so up that it threatens to stop because of the fear, as if it stopped pumping blood to replace it with an infinite void. But he refuses to listen to the death whispering in his ear that you won’t make it as he carries you, arms under your shoulders and knees.

“Call Hershel!” He says, to whoever is faster as Daryl starts waking fast, because, even though he wants to run to catch the seconds that seem to slip away, your body feels as fragile as porcelain.

And it’s crazy, it’s wild the way Herself has to perform a surgery to control the bleeding on the same table where the night before your and his playful fingers had teased each other, minutes before ruining it all with your silence and his jealousy. But when it's all over and the madness has cleared like a thick fog, he finds himself sitting on the edge of your bed, taking in the way your closed eyelids make you look like you're just asleep and not unconscious.

“She will make up, Daryl.” Carol says softly, standing close to him. “It’s late, you should rest.”

He shakes his head.

“Nah. I’m stayin’ here with her. Don’ want her to be alone when she does.”

Carol nods, knowing perfectly nothing will change his mind.

“Okay, Pookie, I will come to check on you both in the morning.”

She kisses his forehead, but Daryl is too absent to notice as she leaves the room. The entire prison falls into a deep sleep, and Daryl can hear the almost imperceptible sound of your breathing fighting against the almost deafening silence of his world, telling him without words that you are there, and that you are not going anywhere. But after a while, Daryl lies down on his right side, still close to the edge of the bed to give you all the space you needed, but able to leave only that small space between his body and yours.

“Fuck… now I know I love ya, peach.” He whispers, shy and scared you can hear him even like that. “That seems to be the only answer to why I almost lost ma shit when I saw ya there… bleedin’ out. Jesus, ya would probably laugh if ya saw me here now scared to death like a damn child.” Daryl tries to laugh, a nervous little laugh that falls to a heavy sigh. “Please, wake up, okay? I promise I’ll be better.”

But since there is no answer from the other end, his words hang in the air for the rest of the night, even after Daryl falls asleep. However, as the sun begins to peek through one of the prison's tall windows one more time, your eyelids open slightly, the world in front of you blurring for an instant, until your scattered senses become one and focus on the pain pounding your abdomen.

But still, you turn your head slightly to the side when your peripheral vision catches a body beside yours, smiling weakly at the image before you. Daryl's hair covers part of his closed eyes, but his slight frown reflects his concern, even if you don't know that.

You raise your arm until your hand touches the skin of his face, soft flesh under your fingers.

“Daryl?” Your voice brings him back easily, walking him up from that terrifying dream as he sits up, his hand cupping the side of your face just to feel that you're actually awake.

"Ya okay, peach, ya okay."

“Am I? Since when I’m here?”

Daryl sighs, but he decides to mask his fear with humor, just because he feels like he can spill all his feelings for you in a single second.

“Jus' a day, but ya took yer sweet time to wake up, woman.”

“Sorry.”

You chuckle shyly, but his gaze turns soft.

“Nah. Don’t be, I’m jus’ so glad ya came back.” Concern allows him to smile slightly, before telling you that he's going to go find Hershel.

The examination lasts a few minutes, until you two are left alone, again.

“Daryl…” One more time, your voice pulls his eyes towards yours the moment he sits back down. “Sean was messing with you. You know? I was going to tell you about it that night before all this, but you didn’t want to listen and I didn’t want to push you to.”

Embarrassed, Daryl lowers his head a little bit, watching you through his long hair.

“M’ sorry, peach. I was jealous of ‘em and I ended up sayin’ the wrong shit again.”

Them.

“Daryl, that’s exactly what I was going to tell you that night. There was never another guy, Sean made up that story to get a reaction out of you because even he can see how much you want to kick his ass every time you see him coming." You chuckle. "Besides, he’s gay.”

Daryl blinks, confused like never in his life.

“He is?”

You nod.

“Yep, really gay, but don’t worry, Sean has a crush on Glenn because you look too intimidating for his like.” You want to laugh, but you can see his own shame sinking his heart heavily, feeling the pain and guilt for letting you go alone, because Daryl is a protector: that is in his nature.

And when things went wrong, that weight fell on his shoulders.

"Sorry, I think I screwed this thing between us."

And in a second and with an overwhelming strength, you can see his eyes becoming teary with all the feelings he has inside him.

"No. You didn't, Daryl, unless you want this to end."

But he shakes his head.

"No. I don' want it to ever end."

You nod softly.

"Good." When your hand catches his, Daryl clings to it, but you don't force him to talk because you know better than anyone that it was difficult for him to express himself. "Now come, lie down and try to sleep. Okay?”

He nods, laying down next to you, too overwhelmed to speak his mind at that very moment, his hand still holding yours even after he falls asleep when his mind can no longer carry the full weight of his thoughts. But while he does, you can't help but smile slightly, because now, awake, you are convinced that his voice saying I love you was not just part of the dream you were having, sweet words you hope you can tell him soon.

[ponyojujuu]

not a drabble, list with thoughts!

most to least likely to get turned on when you wear their clothes (&team pt 2.)

not smut, but not fluff

slightly suggestive content mdni

you have been warned

nicho! nicholas loves this shit dude. i mean LOVES. not only is he a fucking fashion dork, so he’s already gonna wanna dress you up in his clothes. but he’d loose his mind if you casually just wore his clothes with nothing underneath. the way his baggy clothes would sit on your naked body would make him go insane. he’d probably even fuck you in his shirt. since he’s the jealous type he would probably offer you to wear his clothes when you go out because they’re baggy. likes that matching couple shit too. would fanboy over you in his clothes.

euijoo! euijoo seems like he has very oddly specific turn ons because he’s perverted. which is why this would definitely be one of them. i think euijoo had a huge thing with scents and would be obsessed with yours. he wouldn’t know at first how much he loves when you wear his clothes but after you return his hoodie the first time he’s ADDICTED to your scent on his clothing. i think he’d be really shy to admit that he loves when you wear his clothes but you’d find out eventually. because every-time you wear his clothes he’s instinctively really touchy and can’t stop staring. you know he’s turned on now.

jo! if jo is your boyfriend there’s no way you can do no harm in his eyes, he already has the patience of a saint there’s no way he wouldn’t love to share his clothing with you. he’d see you wear his clothes and be like, “is that mine?” “yeah.. sorry-” “no keep it” is how the conversation would go between you too. he’d instantly agree that his clothes look better on you and would start giving them to you before you could even ask/take them. jo gets flustered easily so the first time he sees you in his clothes it will turn him on and he won’t know how to react. he’ll get used to it eventually but i think he’d still be super attracted to you when you do this.

taki! taki loves this shit too tbh. i think he would have a dorky way of teasing you about it because his clothes would be so oversized on you and it would be laughable. also teasing how you always wanna wear his clothes instead of your own. but he’d actually prefer it that way, seems like he’d wanna fuck you in just his big t-shirt also. he would double take if you walked around the house with just his shirt and no underwear. underneath all the teasing would be him shooting you seductive glares.

fuma! i think fuma has bad self-control so he probably gets horny pretty quickly and hates being teased/seduced. so it’s not that you wearing his clothes wouldn’t turn him on, but then he’d have to rip them off of you and ruin his clothes because he’d much rather see you naked. he’s so chill and nonchalant though so what’s his is yours including his clothes so he lets you wear them. this definitely gets him worked up he just hates the disadvantage so it would either go two ways, he takes it off before your even wearing it for a few minutes or you just sleep/walk around naked. or well ofc in your own clothes LOL.

harua! i think sharing clothes between you and harua is really a normal thing which is why he may not get as turned on as the others. he probably likes when you wear his clothes out in public since they’re baggy and people won’t look at you too much(he gets jealous). but i think harua would really adore anything you do, so i think there would be certain times where he can’t hide his desires when you wear his clothing.

yuma! similar to fuma, i just think this gets him really sexually frustrated. because your teasing him with the idea of being fully naked under his big t-shirt there’s no way he’d be able to just stay still or continue on with the day like normal. he’d rather you wear his clothes after you guys fuck. that way he’s tired and your going to sleep so it doesn’t matter. he also seems like he might feel a little off-put if he goes into his closet and you stole his favorite shirt/hoodie and he can’t find it. if you really wanted to chill in his clothes, he’d let you, he would just be fighting a boner the whole time.

kei! i don’t know why but i just imagine kei will find this silly. because he’ll see you in his clothes and how oversized it is and think it looks funny because he prefers you in tighter clothes. of course at the end of the day it doesn’t matter, kei seems like the worshiping type so he’s gonna compliment you regardless. but i can just see him taking a ton of pictures of you in his clothes because he just finds it so silly that your wearing his clothes. but if you find them comfortable he’ll lend you all of them to see you smile. but i don’t really see this turning him on very much.

[nick-writes-stuff]

Ransom

Hwang In-ho x spouse!reader (gn)

summary: As much as In-ho tried to keep you a secret, a plot to overthrow and loot the compound involved holding you as ransom. The plan is unsuccessful, but your life wouldn't be the same again.

!warnings: canon-typical violence, home invasion themes, reader is injured and manhandled, hurt/comfort, implied traumatic experiences

a/n: this is probably going to be the last solo in-ho fic for a bit. i don't want to get burnt out from writing him. expect some headcanons or fics about some other characters in the future!

In-ho liked to keep you away from his work. You didn't know all of the specifics. You knew what he was doing was gruesome and shady, but you preferred to stay out of it.

A year or two after he began working as the Front Man, he had reached out to you, hoping to get some piece of his life back. You two had been close friends in your childhood up through your first year of university. You knew him and his brother well. Jun-ho would always pick on him since he thought it was obvious the two of you were pining for each other, but nothing ever came from that.

Then you drifted apart. There was no animosity between you. You talked occasionally, but you were just doing separate things in your lives. You would be lying if you said you didn't think about him every once in a while, wistfully wondering how your life would have been different if you had ever gotten the courage to ask him.

That thought made you feel guilty every time. You heard about what he was doing in his life. You knew he got married, was expecting a child with his wife, got fired for alleged bribery, lost his wife and child, then distanced himself from everyone in his life. Nothing stopped the thought from popping up, but you had never thought about acting in it.

Until you bumped into him at a coffee shop on the outskirts of Seoul years later. You didn't think much of this encounter. He had seemed nonchalant and casual that you assumed he had already cleared things up with his family.

This wasn't a chance encounter like you thought it was. Quite the contrary, as In-ho had meticulously planned it for a month in advance. It included a bit of surveillance on his end, but that was nothing out of the ordinary for his line of work. He met you there, and it felt exhilarating to finally be able to leave the mask behind for once.

You finally kept in touch with him. Your relationship only grew from that point on. Before you moved in with him, he sat you down to talk about his work and living situation. He was straightforward for the most part, but he spared you any of the extremely gory details. And you didn't run. You wanted to be there for him. Even if you were morally opposed to his line of work, you really cared about him. And it's not like you were participating.

You had lived with him for a few years before he proposed to you. Unlike every other thing he does, he didn't have a plan for it. Everything was spontaneous, and it was something you really appreciated. Not thinking about it beforehand showed that he really felt strongly about you and didn't have to think it through to convince him.

You stayed in the apartment for most of the time. You found a way to make yourself busy. Sometimes In-ho would have some random tasks for you like baking bread or making dalgona. You didn't know how that was helpful, but you didn't mind.

He was happy to have someone to return home to at the end of the day. But with that came the worry of your safety. The compound was secure, but there was always the fear in the back of his mind. You've taken self-defense courses before. You weren't helpless, but the people who could be a threat are rather unsavory people. They acted rashly and without forethought. Their unpredictability was concerning.

In-ho wanted to teach you how to use a gun, but you refused. You didn't like guns. You witnessed something traumatic that you didn't like discussing, and In-ho knew that. You at least let him show you how to check if the safety was on or off. He did insist that you carry around a stun gun, something you reluctantly agreed to.

You both had hoped you wouldn't have to use it. But sometimes things never go how you planned.

You had been straightening up when you heard the alarm start blaring. You swallowed hard, trying to calm your breathing. Panic would do nothing but make you more vulnerable.

The shrill ring of the rotary phone receiving a call shocked you more than it reasonably should have. You felt your heart stop for a second as it reverberated through the room. You shook your head at your jumpiness and walked to answer the phone.

You picked up the receiver. “You scared the shit out of me.” You said with a slight chuckle.

In-ho wasn't in a joking mood. He couldn't be right now. “Listen, there's 5 players and 2 rogue guards storming the place right now.”

Your jaw dropped. “Oh god.” You muttered, realizing the gravity of the situation. Your breathing quickened as a response.

“Stay calm, okay? You need to keep your mind sharp.” He said. He knew it was a tall order, but he was right and you knew it. His voice was level despite the pit forming in his stomach. “There's one near you. Lock the door and hide in the storage room. Get ready to catch him off guard and lock him in there, okay? I'll get to you as soon as I can.” He said quickly.

You took a deep breath. “I will. I love you.” You said.

“I love you too.” He said. His voice was softer than it was before. He tried to keep you a secret while at work. Sure, some people knew you were living with him, mostly just some of the managers, but he didn't like advertising the fact that you were someone he cared about in fear it would be used against him.

And it was being used against him. There had been a scheme brewing behind the scenes for a few years that they hadn't caught onto. A player who voted to leave and didn't come back to the games decided to make a group to infiltrate the compound and steal the money outright. If they had 45 billion Won to offer the winner, they had to have even more at their disposal. The two guards had been working there for a few years. One of them was one of the managers who knew about your presence on the island. The one who was right outside the door to the apartment.

Things started to piece together in In-ho mind as he watched the events unfold. He became suspicious of other soldiers now. He didn't think he could trust anyone to rescue you except himself. What if they were in on it? Maybe he was being paranoid, but he didn't want to risk your life. He started devising a plan to neutralize the situation, giving out orders when needed. Once everyone knew their task, he made his way toward the apartment.

-

You put down the receiver the correct way out of habit. You rushed over to the front door, trembling fingers struggling to lock the door. You flicked the lights off and entered the storage room. You flicked those lights off as well. Maneuvering the best you could in the dark, you stood beside one of the shelves with your back against the wall. You focused on the coldness you felt where you made contact with the wall. It was grounding you. Your hand gripped the stun gun in your pocket. You tried to calm your breathing, but it was still shaky.

You flinched the first time you heard a thud. It wasn't a gunshot, more of an impact. The second time, it happened you realized it was someone breaking down the door. And they seemed to have gotten in. You heard heavy footsteps pacing through the apartment.

You hoped they would think you weren't there. Maybe you took a trip outside or even to the mainland. Maybe they didn't even know you were here.

That wasn't the case. You knew it the second you heard him shout. “Come on out. I know you're here.”

You tensed up, realizing how bad of a situation you were in. You just hoped In-ho would be there soon.

You heard him opening the doors one by one, doing a sweep of the apartment. Eventually, he opened the door to the storage room. You took deep breaths trying to stay quiet. Once he walked past you, you made your exit. He noticed you before you got out. “Not so fast.” He called out.

You managed to get through the doorway and start to close the door on him. You tried shoving against him, but you were overpowered and knocked to the ground as he shoved the door open.

You gathered your bearings and started to stand up, but you noticed the weapon in his hand. A pistol. Standard issue for the managers to keep on their person.

You started breathing faster, panicking despite In-ho's words repeating in your head. Stay calm, okay? You need to keep your mind sharp. You took a deep breath as you stood up. You tried to run off, but he stopped you by shoving you into the wall.

“Sorry, but I can't let you get away.” He said mockingly while closing the distance between you. He wrapped a hand around your throat.

“What do you want?” You asked, managing to get the words out despite the circumstances.

He laughed, using his other hand to pull off his square mask and hood to reveal his sick grin. “You're going to be my golden ticket to the fortune it takes to run these games. Your husband has to have hundreds of billions of Won, and he's gonna fork it over if he doesn't want me to put a bullet in your head.” He said. He tapped the barrel of the gun against your temple. You flinched away from it, both out of fear and a reflex from the cold metal.

He was clearly deriving pleasure from watching you struggle, and it made you sick to your stomach. You couldn't breathe, both from the panic and his grip on your airway.

“You don't have to do this.” You muttered, voice hardly above a whisper.

“Oh, I know. It's nothing personal, sweetheart.” He said with a sickening sweet but mocking tone. He had a sadistic glint in his eyes.

Your vision started to blur as he spoke. You reached your trembling hand into your pocket, fumbling with the stun gun. When you got it oriented the correct way, you made your move. You held down the button and jammed it into his side.

He jerked backward, releasing the grip on your throat and the gun. You took a desperate breath as you ducked out of his hold, but he recovered from the volts quicker than you thought he would. He turned and shoved you to the ground.

“You motherfucker.” He growled. He kicked you, causing you to cry out in pain. “You're gonna regret that.” He spat.

-

In-ho was making haste to the apartment when he heard you cry out. He grimaced under the mask. He tried to calm down his own breathing, but that attempt was in vain the second he heard a gunshot.

“Fuck, no no no no no.” He muttered. He felt the panic rise within him. He didn't know what he would do if he lost you. He can't do this without you. He can't lose you. If he did, it would be all his fault. You didn't deserve this. You didn't belong in the world that he dragged you into.

Why did the universe hate him? Was he doomed to lose everyone he loved? His mother, his father, his wife and child, his brother, his mentor, and now you too. Maybe he was meant to be alone. The universe was trying to show him that, but he never learned, and now he's lost the last person who he cared about.

He quickly noticed that the door had been broken into. Whoever did this was sure of their actions.

Whoever did this was about to be killed as well. He pulled the gun from his own pocket. Part of him wanted to keep them alive and torture them, make them regret the pain they put you through. But he knew you wouldn't want that.

He braced himself for what he thought he would see when he entered the doorframe, but it wasn't what he expected.

You were sitting with your back against the wall. You held the manager's gun in your hands, still outstretched as if you were frozen in time. Your gaze looked far away. Your breathing was shallow.

The manager laid in a heap on the ground, blood beginning to pool around him from the wound.

You shot him dead.

Once In-ho assessed the situation, he was at your side almost instantly, and the black mask was discarded just as quickly. He grabbed your wrist gently, which snapped you out of your haze. You jerked away from his touch, head quickly turning to look at whoever startled you.

“Hey, hey, it's me, okay? It's just-” He started.

The second you realized it was him you wrapped your arms around him. The pistol clattered to the ground. You cried into his shoulder, letting out shuddering sobs.

He wrapped one arm around your waist while the other cradled the back of your head. His thumb gently stroked your scalp while he repeated, “It's okay. You're safe,” in a soft whisper, hoping both of you realized it was true.

His own breathing was uneven as well as he tried to keep himself calm. He wanted to be a rock for you to cling to, the calm in the storm. But he was so fucking scared himself. He thought he lost you. He thought he was going to walk in and see you dead on the ground.

So for the first time in a long time, tears ran down his face. He couldn't remember the last time he cried. It was probably when he returned from the games to learn his wife had passed. After the confrontation with Jun-ho, he didn't cry. He just shut down emotionally, distanced himself, and drank a bit too much for a few days. He had never really given himself time to process those emotions except during the recurring nightmares about the incident.

After a few minutes, you heard a voice at the door. “Sir?”

You looked up to see two triangle soldiers. You tensed up, about ready to get up and run out of the room, but In-ho's embrace tightened ever so slightly to keep you with him.

He didn't turn. He couldn't because he didn't have his mask, and he wasn't going to doom the two guards by looking at them. “Get a cleaning crew to deal with this. We'll be out of here when they arrive.” He said, keeping his tone level.

When he heard them leave, he released you from the hug. He pulled back and looked at you. “Could we move into the bedroom? Is that okay?” He asked you gently.

It took you a moment to register his words. Your gaze was directed toward him, but it seemed you were looking through him. You eventually nodded your head. He had been intending on carrying you, but you stood up using the wall to keep your balance. He noticed your grimace from the movement. He suspected you were in pain, but he didn't dwell on it now.

He grabbed your hand gingerly, leading you into the other room. He didn't even care to grab the mask, totally forgetting it as his priority shifted to you.

When you entered the room, he locked it behind you. He didn't want to be bothered by the games right now. He would get the information about the breach later. Right now, he was needed here. Plus, he thought you would feel safer knowing it was only him with you.

You sat on the edge of the bed, feet dangling to the ground. You just sat there motionless, staying into space. He looked over at you, his eyes a storm of anger and fear and worry and love. He sat next to you, an action that startled you until you realized it was still just him.

He wrapped an arm around you and pulled you close to him. “It's just us in here, okay?” He said softly. He grabbed your hand in his, fidgeting with your fingers absent-mindedly. Occasionally his fingers would find their way to your pulse point as if he was subconsciously ensuring you were still alive.

He didn't know how long you both sat there like that. He didn't want to overwhelm you, so he just held you and occasionally murmured some comforting words. You could talk when you were ready.

Eventually, you broke the silence. “I didn't know what else to do.” You murmured softly. Your face was still blank, but he took some comfort in hearing your voice.

“That's okay. You did what you had to do to survive.” He said. Explaining this to you felt strange to him. It's the same words used to justify the murder in the games. Maybe his vision was clouded by his love for you, but he didn't think the games and what you just went through were comparable. It felt wrong to use those words even though by the game's logic, these two situations were both considered self-preservation. He didn't have time to go through this moral dilemma. Perhaps he would rethink all of his past decisions in the quiet of night, but right now, you needed him, and that was the most important thing to him.

After a few more moments of silence, you spoke again. “Do you want to know what happened?” You asked.

He sighed softly. “I would like to know eventually, but we don't have to talk about it now if you don't want to.” He said honestly. He didn't want to pressure you, but knowing the information would be helpful for investigating the incident and his own mental well-being. He wanted to know how he could prevent this from happening again.

You took a deep breath before beginning to speak. “He broke down the door and started looking through all the rooms. He was looking for me. I hid in the storage room, and I tried to sneak out like you said, but he was too fast and forced the door open.”

He grimaced slightly. He already assumed that the manager was there for you, but hearing it stirred an anger in his chest. “Did he say anything to you?” He asked.

You nodded. “Yeah. He said that he was going to hold me as ransom for the money.” You said in a small voice.

He stayed silent for a moment before gently cupping your face in his hand. He guided your gaze toward him. “Did he hurt you?” He asked. He tried to keep his voice gentle, but the simmering anger inside him caused his voice to be stern. He needed to know.

He felt you tense up, and that answered his question enough. You nodded slightly. “I got shoved around a bit. He tried choking me out, but I got him with the stun gun. That disarmed him and…” you trailed off, taking a deep breath before adding, “you know the rest.”

He tilted your head up slightly, dark eyes landing on the redness that would certainly turn to bruises. Physical reminders of the pain In-ho felt like he caused you by putting you in this dangerous environment.

There was that anger again. He could feel it coursing through his veins. It was wrath and hatred and fury. He wished you hadn't killed him so he could force the manager to feel at least 1000 times more pain and torture. He wanted the satisfaction of killing him slowly on his own terms.

You wanted to reassure him that you were okay. The bruises will fade with time. The lingering sense of pain where the manager's hands gripped your throat will leave. When he didn't seem to react, you sighed softly. It's time to take another approach. “If you think this is bad, you should see the other guy.” You said cheekily.

You could see it in his eyes. While he was unreadable to almost everyone, you could see his emotions clear as day. Although to be fair, you were the only one to see him without the mask. You leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I'm fine. Just a few bruises. Nothing that times won't heal,” you said. Physically, at least. This day would definitely haunt you for years, but you knew that wasn't his concern right now.

It took him a moment to register your words, but when he did, he looked down at you. Upon seeing your smirk, he couldn't stop the smile from creeping onto his face. He laughed lightly, shaking his head. “Only you could go through something like that and joke about it after.” He said.

“I just don't like seeing you upset.” You said softly.

He paused for a moment before pressing his lips to your forehead. You leaned into him. You both sat there in the intimate silence for a moment before you spoke again. “You know, I don't regret doing it.” You said. You sighed. “I didn't like doing it, but I think he got what he deserved.”

He tried not to seem surprised. He was surprised, but he didn't want you to think it was him appraising your statement negatively. He didn't have room to judge as he had an obvious reputation.

“And that's okay.” He said gently.

In a strange way, he was almost proud but not for the reason most would think. He could imagine Il-nam praising him for getting you to see the purpose of the games. Others would think he was happy to corrupt you. But honestly, that's bullshit.

He was happy that you had a reason to fight for your life. You considered yourself, your husband, and your future together more important than your personal code of ethics. He had seen how opposed to violence you were, and the fact you would act against your moral values for him was almost heartwarming.

It reminded him of himself. He did the same for his first wife. He was an upstanding police officer, but he decided to work with the people he was supposed to take down. He took loans and bribes to pay for her treatment, and he wouldn't have changed a thing. It was a testament to his devotion. His love language is acts of immorality

In-ho arranged for two nights off to spend with you. You both tried to pretend the other's nightmare hadn't woken you up. He appeared like he didn't notice your hands reach to your next and try to pry off the hands of the man in your dream. You didn't react when you felt his fingers on your pulse point as he calmed himself down. Through the next couple days, you tried to live as normally as the situation allowed. He occasionally needed to step out of the apartment to assess the state of the games and give orders. You waited for him rather impatiently. He also wanted to be with you as much as possible. It calmed both of you from the anxiety which was likely going to linger. Being here was dangerous and that was a risk you both would have to take. And you took it willingly if it meant being together.

He'd do anything for you, too. His list of misdeeds had grown more serious, so it's more accurate to say he would change his ways for the better for you. If he had to break the strict rules or if he had to leave the games behind entirely, that's fine. He'd do it in a heartbeat if you asked him to.

[yapperblog]

Part 2 of cafe worker!Joost x fem!reader

Part 1

Tags: smut, making out, semi-public, handjob, blowjob.

Explicit RPF below, don't interact if you are not comfortable with that; +18

You feel nervous walking down the same path you always take. Why are you nervous? There was usually a feeling of excitement to unwind, to see the sexy Internet Cafe employee – stifling your giggles who will he scold for breathing too loud this time. But now your palms are sweaty the closer you get to that familiar door.

After your first hookup with Joost, you haven't talked much. You got busy with work, and when you were able to visit the Internet Cafe, he seemed to be busier than usual, new customers keep flooding in. You would catch him for a couple of minutes of casual conversation by his desk, like he hasn't rearranged your guts in this same place. He would also come up to you ask about your day, the first time he did it, it made you blush furiously not having expected it from him. Other than that, you were short with each other and the timing wasn't right. Plus it has been almost a week since your last visit, probably the longest you haven't been in that place. So, all those thoughts piled on top of each other, you were feeling extra anxious to see him.

Today however you were determined to have a proper conversation. You are down to keep it casual, if he doesn't want anything serious, but you need clarity – it has been driving you crazy not knowing what he thinks about that night, does he regret it, does he want anything more?

Once again, you open the door, familiar sounds and smell greeting you, as well as a pair of blue eyes lingering in your direction. Joost smiles at you, as you come over to his desk.

"Hi you." he says, still smiling.

"Hi." It throws you off how cheerful he is, the usual scowl nowhere to be found.

"Haven't seen you in a while." his attention is still fully on you, on a normal fay by that time he was already back to typing on the computer. "Thought you went to the competitors. Maybe some other Internet Cafe has opened up." he tries to joke.

You stare at him silently and burst out laughing, the previous tension and anxiety simmering down. Maybe he is in the same mood to figure things out between you finally.

"I wouldn't dare." you lean in closer over the desk.

"That's right." he doesn't look away, matching your eye contact.

You reach for your purse to get the cash for the computer, but he stops you. "It's on the house today. Loyal customer and all that."

You look shocked at him, "You don't have to do that, but thank you." you mumble, a blush creeping up your cheeks again. He seems really happy to see you again. "All I had to do was the bang the employee? Should have done that sooner." you whisper to him making sure it is only for his ears.

"Shut up." he barks a laugh. "First computer on the second row is yours." he points in the direction of it.

"Wait, how does she get to use it for free?" a customer who just walked in behind you asks.

"None of your business." Joost is back to his usual demeanour, his eyes a reflection of being bored of the customer. "How can I help you?" he asks the guy.

You have finished the most important work you needed to do, looking up at the clock, you notice it is past midnight already, most of the customers went home, there is only you, Joost and a couple sharing a computer on the opposite side.

"Sir?" you call out in Joost's direction. "There is something wrong with this computer, can you check?"

His head immediately turns in your direction. "Um, sure." he walks up to you.

You point at the error which popped up. You know how to fix it yourself, and from the look he gives you, you are sure he knows that too. But plays along, catching up to your game. "Yes, let me check." he moves from standing next to you to reaching over behind you for the mouse and keyboard. His hand is covering the mouse over your hand, his skin feels starching hot on yours. His breath close to your ear, your stomach tightens over the simple close proximity to him.

"You are so good at this." you tell him, your voice innocent.

"Am I?"

"Yeah." you turn to face him, but he already fixed it and straightens up, leaving you so lonely.

"Thank you." your voice is quiet.

You finish the rest of your work and notice the couple has left. After waiting a couple more minutes to check if no one else comes in, you stand up and head towards Joost's desk. He is busy typing away, you linger next to him, when he finally looks up.

"Can we talk?" you ask tentatively.

He looks around the room, noticing it's just you left.

"Sure." he gives you his full attention now. "What happened?"

"Well. Nothing really, but that is the problem." you say not looking at him yet, mindlessly moving the things around at the top of his desk. "I know we don't each other yet, maybe the hookup meant nothing to you." you continue, he tries to interrupt, but you motion for him to wait. "But I would like to get to know you, move things forward. I do care about you more than just random sex, but I can't tell if you feel the same about me. You are kind of hard to read." you finally look up at him. He is looking at you intently, listening carefully to your confession.

The silence falls heavily between you, it weighs on you. Did you read this situation completely wrong, does have want nothing to do with you, before you can spiral any further, you hear his voice. "I also want to get to know you. Sorry if I left you in the unknown, I didn't mean that. I also didn't know if you want anything more. I was also so busy here, I am sorry." he says. "When you didn't come on your usual day, your usual hours-"

"You notice when I usually come here?"

"Ofcourse." he meets your eyes.

"I would love to ask you out on a date." he confesses. "Would- Would you go on a date with me?" he is also nervous, like you. It makes your heart melt.

"Yes."

Joost's gaze softened, his eyes roaming over your face with a mix of tenderness and barely concealed desire. You walk around the desk, his eyes following your every move, he starts to stand up, but you push on his shoulder to keep him sitting down. You stand in between his legs and reach out to fix his hair, brushing the fallen out of place strands. You notice the dark circles under his eyes, he works so much. Your hand slips lower, tracing his cheekbone, his skin warm under your palm. He nuzzles closer to you, his eyes darken, not used to such tender touches, but unable to tear himself away from the way you looked at him.

"Is this okay?" you ask him. So careful, the time feels like it has slowed down between you two. A contrast between how the first time went. "Yes."

You move to sit on his lap, he lets you, wrapping his hand around your waist, settling you in more comfortable, as he shifts under you.

"I really thought I might never see you again." he confesses, his voice barely audible, but you hear him.

Reaching up, you let your fingers graze the stubble on his jaw, caressing his cheek as you hold his gaze. “Kiss me, Joost,” you whisper, your voice a soft, desperate invitation.

Without another word, he closes the distance, his lips finding yours in a gentle, unhurried kiss. There is no urgency, only a steady, deliberate affection that conveys every unspoken emotion he’d held back. His kiss is soft and careful, full of warmth, he is tentative, but you lead him, showing you want him as much.

When he pulls away, his forehead rests against yours, and you both share a quiet, contented breath, wrapped up in the warmth of the moment. But the tenderness only fuels the lingering desire that had simmered between you both, and with a sudden burst of confidence, you grasp the collar of his shirt, pulling him back to you.

This time, the kiss deepened, your lips moving in sync as the restraint melted away, giving way to something more fervent, the Joost who likes to take control shining again. His hands grab your waist even harder, pulling you closer, his fingers splaying against your back. The gentle intimacy turns heated, your mouths exploring, you open your mouth, letting his tongue tease yours. You can feel his breath hitch as your fingers tangle in his hair, pulling him closer, he groans against your lips, sending a shiver down your spine.

You try to pull away, but he chases you leaning in, not ready to separate yet, "Come here" his voice is low, breathless too, as he catches your lips in a kiss again. His hands slid down to the small of your back, then lower, gripping your thighs. You wrapped your arms around his neck, fingers tangling in his hair, pulling him closer. His hands roam over your body, sliding along your curves, his touch sends shivers down your spine, like it's the first time being alone in this room again. However this time you are sure he wants you as much as you want him. You gasp against his mouth, a sound that turns into a soft moan, each sound coming from you pushing him closer to the edge of his composure. His tongue slips past your lips, exploring, tasting. Every brush of his tongue against yours sent a surge of heat pooling between your legs, each movement building the need that pulsed through you.

Joost shifts under you, and you feel his hardness pressing against you, undeniable. Your lips begin to wander, trailing a path from his mouth to his jaw, where you lingered, pressing soft, teasing kisses that made him shudder under your touch. You can feel the subtle stubble against your lips, the warmth radiating from his skin as you move lower, planting slow, lingering kisses along his neck, tasting the faint hint of his cologne mixed with his natural scent. Paying extra attention to the Lola Bunny tattoo on his neck, you hope to become friends with her and see her more often.

Each kiss seems to draw a deeper, ragged breath from him, his chest rising and falling as he leans into every touch, unable to hold back the quiet sounds of pleasure escaping his lips. You find it intoxicating, the sound you are able to pull from him. You let your hands roam freely, exploring the strong lines of his shoulders, fingers tracing down the curves of his chest. His pulse beats beneath your touch, quickening with each passing second. He swallows hard, his breathing growing heavier as you continued, savoring every inch of him.

"You are driving me crazy." he says, as you continue to kiss along his sensitive spot.

"You look so good like this." your words go straight to his dick. "I can't believe I finally get to have you like this."

"Fuck, baby. Don't say shit like this, I might just cum in my pants." he confesses tilting his head back, giving you even more access, closing his eyes, clearly enjoying your actions.

"Maybe I would like that." you let your fingers slide down his torso, tracing every line and curve of his body with deliberate, teasing slowness.

"What? Me cuming my pants?" his opens his eyes to look at you. You look up at him grinning, your hand finally reaches the waistband of his boxers, and you press your palm against him. "You are evil."

"You don't like that?" you remove your hand from him.

"Nonono." he repeats, putting your hand back right where it was. "I do." his breath hitches, a deep, guttural sound escaping his throat as he instinctively pushes into your touch, his fingers digging into your waist.

"I am enjoying myself too." you murmur, palming him gently, feeling his arousal grow beneath your hand, hardening with each brush of your fingers. “I’ve wanted this for so long, Joost. I wanted to know how you’d feel like this,” you admit, voice a mix of admiration and desire.

His hands roam your back, pulling you closer, his breathing growing heavier as he looses himself in every touch, every word you murmur against him. "More, please." he pleads, looking in the direction of the door. The cafe is still open to the public. It has been a quieter night than usual, but there is still a possibility someone might stumble in, but he is ready for the gamble, knowing you are too.

"God… that feels so good,” he gasps, as he looks, his expression a mixture of awe and arousal. His hands roam up and down your back, and you can feel the effect of every touch, every word, as his breathing grows heavier. "You’re so beautiful,” he whispers, his voice rough as he presses a kiss to your temple, his words urge you to move your hand around his cock faster, encouraging every word. “Been wanting this… wanting you… for so damn long.” He buries his face in the crook of your neck, kissing and nipping at your skin as he speaks, his voice shaky, every word spilling out in a way that only fueled the fire between you.

"Seeing that guy ask you out,” he murmurs, his lips brushing the sensitive skin just below your ear, “it drove me crazy. Couldn’t stand it. I wanted to kill him for touching you” He pauses, lifting his head to look into your eyes, his gaze raw, vulnerable, every wall he’d built around himself now shattered. “I’ve wanted you like this… needed you like this… for so long.”

Hearing him say it out loud, the desire intertwined in every syllable, makes your head spin. Feeling he is fully hard under you now, you slowly sink to your knees in front of him, his mouth falling open slightly at the realisation what you are doing for him. You maintain eye contact with him, as you feel the carpet dig into your knees, but you don't care, not when he looks at you like this.

"Fuck... you don't have to." he says, putting a strand of hair behind your ear.

"I want to." you say, and reach for his belt. "Do you want to?"

"Yes." he says it way too quick and it makes you giggle. He helps you undo the belt, lifting his hips to take off his pants.

You palm him through his underwear again, enjoying the delicious moan from him. You motion for him to take them off and he does. "Good boy." you purr and you swear you can see an actual sparkle in his eyes. Who would have thought the mean Internet Cafe employee, who everyone is so scared of, would be melting under your palm at a few words of praise. His cock jumps free from the confines of his boxers, but you don't give it the attention it craves so much. Not yet. Your hands drift up, playing with the hem of his shirt, your nails grazing his stomach lightly, sending a wave of heat coursing through his veins. A sharp exhale escapes him before he can stop it, his muscles tensing under your touch.

After feeling that you've teased him enough, you take his dick in your hands, the tip an angry shade of red, pre-cum spilling from the anticipation. Mixing it with your spit, you start to stroke him. You pay attention to alternating in pressure, swiping your thumb over his tip every time you passed it. Then you nuzzle against it, pressing soft, lingering kisses along the side, your warm breath sending another shudder through him. You are savoring every inch before you begin. Only then your lips part, and you finally take him in. The first flick of your tongue sends a sharp jolt of pleasure up his spine. He has to grip the desk, not to push his hips. Your lips wrap around him, slow and firm, dragging along his length with precision.

"Feels so good." he borderline whines looking down at you. "Keep going please." his hands find the back of your head, not pushing, just wanting to feel you.

Your tongue glides firmly along the underside, tracing every vein, your movements deliberate as you circle the tip before taking him in your mouth again, your lips stretching around his girth. The lewd sound of your lips smacking around you loud in the empty room, making his stomach tighten. You look up at him innocently, as you take more and more of him, your warm and wet mouth mixed with the view makes him almost lose his mind and cum on the spot. He has to lean his head back and concentrate not to end it too soon.

You are however relentless—taking him deeper each time, your spit slicking every inch of him. You bob your head with a slow, steady rhythm, a mix of suction and slippery, messy tongue work that makes his breath stutter.

Suddenly there is a noise of a door opening. His hand on your head gripping your hair, motioning for you to stop. You do, still with his cock in your mouth, you feel him sit up straighter, fixing his hair. There are footsteps coming closer, but luckily they can't see you from your position under the desk.

"Hello, can I print out a few things? Is there a working printer?" an unfamiliar voice asks.

Joost clears his throat. "Hello, yes. It's over there. How many copies?" his voice trying to hide the fact that your soft mouth is still wrapped around his length cockwarming him. The customer goes on a long tangent telling a story how the past few places had trouble with printing and he is walking all around town trying to make a copy of a document. Joost hums in approval listening to his story, one of his hands still wrapped tightly on your hair, making sure you don't get an idea of teasing him.

The customer walks over to the printer. "Call if you need any help." Joost tells him. You hope the customer can do it on his own.

As the footsteps grow quieter and further away, Joost releases his hand from your hair. You move away from him as quietly as possible, leaning your head on his thigh. He looks down at you, pressing a finger to his slips motioning for you to stay quiet and you nod.

You can hear the printer beeping and the customer settling in behind the computer. After awhile you start to get bored, as Joost got back to typing on the keyboard, probably pretending to work not to give away what was happening before. You start to press soft kisses along his thigh. He doesn't stop you, so you continue doing it almost with no sound, the buzz of the printer also helping to hide any noise. You get bolder and bite him, although not hard enough to produce the noise that comes out of him – too loud for how light the bite was. You lick over the spot, he looks down at you with raised eyebrows and you smile apologetically.

"Everything ok?" the customer asks.

"Oh. Yeah, all good." Joost replies. His voice shaky. "Just, um, you know, looking at prices. They seem to bite for real nowadays." the customer laughs at that and agrees. The printing noise continues.

You have to cover your mouth not to laugh at him too. After giving him a few minutes to recover, you continue pressing kisses along his thigh, inching closer to his neglected cock. He stiffens in his seat, but doesn't stop you, so you go further. You ghost your lips over the sensitive skin along his shaft, licking at the tip. His grip tightens over the mouse. You take him in your mouth, building a slow rhythm, not swallowing him too deep to avoid the noise, but enough to tease him. His breathing grows heavier and his big hand finds the back of your head again, his fingers weaving through your hair.

"Fuck. Stop stop." you hear him whisper quietly.

"All done?" you hear Joost say.

"Yep. Thank you so much." the customer replies. "Are you...alright?" he asks tentatively after a pause.

"Yes, I am totally fine. Tired probably. A long shift." he says with no waver in his voice, which makes the guy believe it, not wanting to ask any more questions.

The customer pays and you hear him leave.

"Shit." Joost exhales, his body relaxing. You are also glad he is finally gone. "You little devil." he looks down at you again. He brings you up from under the table and leans down to meet you halfway for a kiss. He groans still tasting himself on your mouth, he tilts your head to deepen the kiss, his cock twitching when you reach out to touch it. You break the kiss, "So sensitive." you whisper against his mouth.

"Get back to work." he leaves one last kiss on your lips and you take your place between his legs. There is a sense of urgency in the air, hoping no one else comes in.

You spit on his tip again, slow and deliberate, watching the saliva trail down before you gather it with your tongue and take him in your mouth once more. You deepen the rhythm, your mouth molding around him, your cheeks hollowing as you suck with more urgency, a wet, obscene symphony filling the space beneath the desk. The slick sounds grow louder, more obscene, as spit pools and dribbles from the corners of your mouth, coating his length in a messy sheen.

You take him to the base, your throat clenching around him, a loud moan leaving his lips, before you pull back, eyes fluttering your breath labored. You let another thick strand of spit fall, your fingers smoothing it down as you stroke him with both hands, your grip greedy, insatiable. Then go back in, your nails digging lightly into his thigh, steadying yourself, like you're getting lost in it. You feel yourself get wet, your clit pulsing steadily, listening to his moans, watching his face scrunch up in pleasure, his heavy hand on the back of your head.

"You like it, huh?" he asks, his chest heaving up and down. You hum around him, the vibrations sending an additional wave of pleasure for him. "So pretty on your knees for me." he brushes away a tear, which falls down your cheek.

He presses you down just a little more. "Can I do this?" he asks and you moan in approval, nodding. Your throat tightens as he pushes you deeper, the tip hitting the back of your throat, making you gag around him. He keeps you there for a moment, his eyes closing in pleasure, "Fuck.." he exhales and lets go off you.

You wrap your hand around his slick length. Your strokes are slow, loud, your fingers working him with a deliberate pace. Looking up at him from under the desk, you look utterly wrecked—lips swollen and slick, spit trailing down your chin, eyes glassy and dark with hunger. He thinks you look like a dream, he is already planning the date in the back of his head, he wants to wake up next to you, he even imagines growing old with you, which he never did before. You pant softly, your breath shaky, as both hands work him with slow, messy strokes, your fingers coated in the evidence of your own devotion.

His thighs tremble as you keep stroking, your grip firm, fingers gliding over his slick length with a slow, almost lazy confidence. His breath is uneven, hot, moans slipping past his lips, same as your own, as if you are lost in the act itself, dazed by the sensation of having him in your hands. Your palm twists just right as you drag it up and down. Your eyes stay locked on his, a smirk on your pretty face. You lick over his tip and wrap your lips around him, sucking, bobbing your head up and down.

His body tenses as your throat tightens around him, your free hand rolling his balls in your palm as you move up and down with an unrelenting pace. Your movements are fast, ruthless, each descent pushing him deeper into your throat. His moans turn breathier, more frantic. Your tongue presses against the underside, rubbing against that sensitive spot as your lips stretch around his girth. Tears prick the corners of your eyes, spit dripping from your chin, but you don't stop determined to take him to completion.

His head tips back, mouth falling open in a loud moan as his hips jerk forward involuntarily. Pleasure crashes over him like a tidal wave, blinding, unstoppable. His muscles go taut, as he cums deep inside you, and you moan around him, swallowing greedily as if you're desperate for every last drop. The thick warmth shoots down your throat, and you take it all effortlessly, your lips sealed tight, sucking him through every wave.

You take your mouth off of him, your own breathing heavy. You leave a few more kisses on his thigh, helping him come back to his senses.

"That was... incredible. You are incredible." he says, pulling you back onto his lap. He takes a tissue from his desk and wipes gently at your lips.

You lay your head on his shoulder, as he puts his pants back on and wraps his hands around you. "Can I take you home? My shift ends soon." he asks carefully, nervously.

You lift your head looking up at him. "Yes."

He did take you home and fucked you until you couldn't take his touch anymore, his attention fixated on your pleasure alone. And you kept coming back to his place, months later it becoming a part of you, as much as it is for him. Your lives gradually intertwining more and more, learning how to be the best for each other.

You hear your alarm clock go off, reaching out to turn it off. Joost groans beside you, he only recently came back home after his shift, but it is already time for you to start getting ready for work. You feel his arm wrap tighter around you, his chest pressed tight around your back, as if he could be any closer to you.

"I need to get up, Joost." you try to peal yourself off of him.

"Just 5 more minutes, please." he feels like he hasn't gotten enough of you yet. He always feels so cold without you in his bed. He can't even remember how his life was without you in it. Your warmth seems to have fix everything.

He nuzzles closer to you, burying his head into your neck. You turn in his embrace, kissing him slowly, he immediately reacts and returns the kiss.

"How soon do you have to leave at the latest?" he asks.

"We have like.. 10 minutes max." you say. You really can't be late again. It is always the same with him when it is a night shift for him – he comes back late, you have to leave early. He wants to cuddle for 5 more minutes, which turns into something more, but you don't complain, you can't get enough of him too.

"Perfect." you feel him smile against your neck.

[rvmanoffbarnes]

Lingered looks || Joseph Quinn x Actress Reader!

Summary: Joseph and you can feel the tension. What will happen if both of you listen to what the're feeling?

Warning: The next one shot contains explicit content and sex scenes. MDNI.

They say that the eyes say more than words.

Apparently, the gazes between me and Joseph meant something beyond words.

The tension between us could easily be cut with a knife. Joseph was just inches away from me as we walked to the hotel elevator. It had been a busy day after doing interviews for our new movie and meeting some fans.

The elevator doors greet us and Joseph gestures with his hand to let me through first. "After you," he says with a slight smile. I thank him and enter the space, followed by him. The doors close and silence envelops us. It's only a few seconds until the Brit decides to break it.

"Are you tired?" he asks me. I can only nod my head. "It was a lot for one day. Honestly, this is what i hate about being an actress," I joke.

He laughs at that.

"Are you tired?" I ask him, looking at his profile. He has a beard from days ago and I notice that his shaved hair is growing longer every day.

He grimaces and leans against the elevator wall. "I still have a little energy left," he admits, "I have to use it all up before I can let myself go to bed." I raise an eyebrow at his response.

Usually, I do the opposite, even if I have energy left, I decide to go to bed anyway. These last few days, stress has consumed my being, so I opt for the healthy decision of putting aside the activities I had planned for our day off. Tomorrow I would make sure to get as much sleep as possible before going back to work.

"What will you do to spend that energy?" I ask him curiously.

He seems to think about it for a few seconds before turning to look at me, at the same time the doors open.

"I'll see if something comes up" A smile sneaks across his face.

We leave the elevator and he walks next to me with his hands in his pants pockets until he leaves me at the door of the room where I am staying. I stop in front of it and take out the card so I can open the door and get inside to rest for the rest of the night. I keep the card in my hands and neither of us seem to move.

These days I have felt a palpable tension between us, which has only increased every day since we had to share more moments together between the two of us to make the chemistry of our characters much more real. Although I have worked with Joseph before, the director asked us to deepen our relationship so that the friendly connection we had would be reflected in the film. Now, of course, we had to have a couple chemistry. I didn't think beyond the topic; I was an actress and my job was to be able to bring those emotions to life and to the film. However, I have been hearing my heart race every time Joseph and the character he played approached me for a scene or in our daily routine together.

I was almost sure it happened to both of us.

I bite my inner cheek and smile at him.

"Okay. This is it," I say in an attempt to break the silence that surrounds us. Joseph looks at the door and then guides his gaze to me. He nods and licks his lips, leaning his shoulder against the wall.

"Yeah...." he says.

I don't know what I expect exactly. The only thing that is clear to me is that neither of us wants to say goodbye at all. His gaze persists on me and a shine appears in his brown orbits. Joseph clears his throat as if suddenly reacting. He straightens his posture and points to the door with his hand and then puts it back in his pocket. "Well, I guess I'll leave you to it," he mentions, "Have a good night, (Y/N)."

I smile. Almost dissapointed. I wonder why.

"Goodnight, Joseph"

He starts to back away and then turns his back on me to walk to his room which is a few doors away from mine. Before I can enter, he turns around and says:

"If you need anything," he begins. I look at him feeling my heart stop for a second "you know where I am."

I swallow and nod my head.

"Same here"

He smiles and waves his hand goodbye. We both go into our respective rooms and I close the door, leaning my back against it. A sigh escapes my lips and my eyes close. Heat invades my cheeks and I run my hand over my forehead. I take my bag off my shoulder and leave it hanging on the coat rack on the wall. Not even 10 seconds pass after I do that and I already hear someone knocking on my door with three firm and urgent knocks.

I open the door and widen my eyes when I see Joseph with a serious expression, which when he sees me changes to one of desire and desperation.

"Actually I do need something" he says.

Before I can ask him what, he kisses my lips fiercely. He grabs my waist with his arms and I allow myself to react to wrap my arms around his neck. In an agile and quick movement he leans his body back, still hugging me, to close the door. He gently pushes me against the wall and explores my mouth with his tongue.

He breaks away for a brief moment to look me in the eyes. He has his dark, eager gaze, his mouth slightly open and then whispers: "I couldn't take this anymore," he admits with heavy breathing.

He brings a hand to my cheek and looks directly at me.

"Joseph..." I say in a whisper. I have a whirlwind of emotions after what just happened.

He shakes his head dejectedly.

"If you don't want me to continue, I'll stop now and go to my room," he says. "It all depends on you."

I lick my lips and take his hand that is on my cheek to slide it around my waist. I smile slightly at him and say:

"Who says I want to stop?" He growls and smiles.

That action I do allows him to continue devouring my mouth as if there were no tomorrow. He pins his body with mine against the wall and spreads my legs with his knee, rubbing his pants against my underwear-covered crotch, which is now a wet mess. It's incredible the ability he has to make me wet in such a short time, just with a fierce kiss. He slides his hands from my waist to my butt to knead it as he wants. This causes me to cry because of the delicious sensation and I cling much more to his body, the word distance disappears as soon as he decides to continue squeezing my cheeks to his liking.

"Mhm...." I moan, clutching at his shirt desperately. I feel ashamed to be in that state so quickly, but after months of tension on the verge, I honestly shouldn't care about it.

He smiles amused and sighs against my lips. "I know we're going too fast, but it's impossible not to enjoy your body and your lips like this," he admits agitatedly.

"Please, Joseph. Don't lie to yourself; we've been wanting this for months," I say firmly and sure of my answer, even though I'm agitated. "To hell with the wait."

Joseph reacts to my words and continues kissing my lips passionately. He lifts the skirt of my dress and massages my ass like he owns it. With more and more lack of control. I venture to unbutton the buttons of his shirt clumsily, but when I manage to do so, he steps away from me for a few seconds and, without taking his eyes off me, takes off his shirt in a hasty movement. This gives me time to start taking off my dress. I lower the strap on one shoulder and then the other, feeling cold as my tits are exposed. I'm not wearing a bra.

"Oh, darling..." he moans.

He takes my waist again and connects his lips with mine. He walks with me until he sits on the edge of the bed and watches me with puppy eyes.

"I want you" he says.

"Then take me," I say.

I settle into his lap and finish lowering the dress with his help. I feel it fall to the ground and I sit back down on Joseph's lap. He looks at me pleadingly for a moment.

"Can...?" He points to my body, to which I nod. The brown-haired man runs his hands slowly over my skin, enjoying the moment. I lean on his shoulders while I'm only wearing my panties. I start kissing his neck at the same time that Joseph raises his hand to my tit, playing with it, while the other holds my waist. I let out a moan, moving closer to him. My hips take on a life of their own and begin to move against his crotch. Joseph curses under his breath and grabs my hips to move them urgently on top of him.

"I need you to tell me if... oh, fuck...." he doesn't stop the movements of my hips on him "I need you to tell me if you want to do it soft or hard."

I lick my lips.

“Fuck me hard, please,” I whimper.

I can't stand the pressure that forms in my lower area. My panties feel so sticky I just want to rip them off. Joseph moans and begins to unbutton his pants, kissing my neck. I stretch it so he can taste my skin better.

I feel his pants and boxers fall to the floor. I look down and see how excited he is. I smile and tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. The tip of his member is red and dripping precum from the situation. Joseph looks me in the eyes and smiles amused. He lowers his gaze to my lips while with his fingers he moves my panties aside and begins to caress and spread my clitoris.

"So wet. Is it for me?" He asks and I move against his fingers. "Yes, Joseph," I say, throwing my head back. "Please... it's just for you."

Joseph chuckles softly. He inserts three fingers again and again until he sees that I am at his complete disposal. He removes them and I instantly miss the sensation. Joseph licks his fingers clean and I swear the action he does can't look any hotter. He closes his brown eyes and enjoy my taste.

"Delicious," he says with a grimace, "just as I imagined."

I groan when I see it.

He places his hand on my cheek. "Do you want me to take control or would you rather ride me?" ask. So gentlemanly and thoughtful of him. I think about it for a few seconds, but with a mischievous smile I answer: "I want to ride you"

Joseph chuckles.

He lays on the bed with a smirk plastered on his face.

"Go ahead, darling"

"I'm clean," I tell him.

"Me too" he smiles in a sincere tone.

And that's enough for me.

I lower my body until I feel his hard member at my entrance and without thinking twice I get into it. I let out a pleasant whimper at the new sensation and watch as Joseph's face is invaded by pleasure.

"Fuck" he groans.

He grabs my hips and begins to guide me with the movements. I rest my hands on Joseph's chest, feeling the small hairs brush against my fingers.

"Oh Joseph," I stifle a moan.

"That's right, beautiful, take all of me" he pushes his hips against mine.

The obscene sound of our bodies is confused with our moans throughout the room. I'm about to cum. I need a little more stimulation, so I take one of his hands that is imprisoning my hip and guide it to my tit. He seems to understand what I want, so he starts massaging it and playing with my nipple. "So beautiful... oh, god" he says.

I moan. This time i'm moving faster.

"Joseph... i'm gonna cum" i admit.

He barely nods with his eyes closed.

"Yes, beautiful, cum for me" he lifts his body a little and hits deep into my body

"I'm ready too." A few more seconds pass until the climax reaches us. "Fuck!"

I feel all his semen spread in me, at the same time that I cum on top of him.

"Oh god" I try to catch my breath and feel him take me by the waist and gently lay me down next to him. I hug him and he smiles at me, looking into my eyes.

"Hey"

"Hey..." I say with a smile.

The rooms smells like sex and the temperatures is increasing.

"That was... incredible," he mentions. I nod my head.

He caresses my cheek softly and tenderly. "I don't want you to think that this will be a one-night thing," he begins by saying seriously, "I really want to try it with you."

My heart races.

"Only if you want it too," he adds. I kiss him to answer him. Joseph corresponds to me, and as we part I tell him:

"I would love to try it, Joseph."

He smiles and kiss my forehead.

"Joseph?" I ask.

"Yeah, baby?"

"Did you waste that energy left?"

He laughs.

"Yeah. I did"

--------------------------------------------------

Hi! I hope u enjoy this one shot... i'm so bad writing smut.

[cybrasigilism]

could u maybe do like mutual virginity loss with player 125? like both of them r so shy and awkward,, i think it would be adorable.,.

So Anxious (Park Min-su/Player 125 X F! Reader SMUT)

warning: smut, no way | not proofread | lowercase intended | sub x sub | virginity loss | riding | this is my interpretation of this character, please be respectful even if my opinions of the character differ from your own

character: park min-su (player 125)

A/N: decided to make this one an out of the games kinda post! i absolutely adore the idea of the reader being just as shy and nervous about the whole ordeal as min-su, thank you for the cute request! hope you enjoy :)

MDNI! 18+ content beneath the cut, reader’s discretion is advised

➤ since you were both serious about having you first be with someone special, you guys definitely tried to talk it out beforehand. but you both ended up becoming too flustered to really continue.

“how are we gonna be able to do it if we can’t even talk about it?”

“i don’t know…i still want to though..”

➤ when you guys eventually decided to get to it, you initiated the kiss but pulled away almost immediately, covering your face sheepishly.

“sorry! am i moving too fast?”

“n-not at all!” (he was definitely blushing himself, conflicted whether or not to hide the tent in his pants considering what you two were trying to do here)

➤ at first, you guys tried making out in the typical position— you being underneath him. but, you could tell min-su wasn’t exactly confident like this, so you guys switched up to where you would be straddling him. this drove him nuts of course

➤ once you guys got into the groove of things, your nerves began to calm. sure you were both shaking, but it had a bit more to do with the sheer anticipation now coursing through your bodies each time your lips met. it wasn’t made any better when min-su eventually snuck his hands up your shirt, caressing your bare back with his cold palms. the noise you made startled him, which you felt bad for

“oh, i’m sorry.. was that too much?”

“no! no, your hands are just c-cold.. that’s all..”

“ah, did you want me to stop or-“

you shake your head “feels nice, don’t stop on my account.”

➤ you’re unsure if you should at first, but you start to grind on him, drawing a unexpected moan from beneath the kiss you were currently sharing. you broke the kiss as you started to subconsciously grind harder, avoiding eye contact out of embarrassment at the expression that must have been painting your face just then. you could tell min-su was repressing his voice just as much as you were your own— you were both positively petrified to make any sound at all, in fact. but, some stifled moans made their way past as he shifted his grasp from your back to your hips.

➤ when you guys actually ended up having sex, it was a swift matter for both parties. i mean, let’s be real here. you were both completely inexperienced virgins, you couldn’t be surprised that you guys both wound up cumming fast. however swift it may have been, you enjoyed it nonetheless. he wasn’t too big, so it didn’t hurt too badly, but it was enough to make you feel better than your fingers ever could.

➤ oh yeah, and you guys could forget about masking those moans of yours any longer. the moment you sank down onto his dick, min-su was a goner. you had never heard him make such a sound in all your life, and you even asked him if he was alright initially. sure, you may not have been so vocal at first contact, but as soon as you started moving that completely turned on its head.

➤ after the fact, you both just kind of laid there next to one another. silent. come on, you had just changed the trajectory of your friendship forever, that was a lot to process. after a moment though, you both found that neither of you could wipe those stupid grins off your faces. you had just changed the entire path of your friendship, forever. and you were both okay with that

AAAA thank you so much for this adorable request! i absolutely loved writing some soft smut, however short it may have been :) thanks for reading again, and i’ll see you on the next one!

as always, any advice/constructive criticism on how to improve my writing is appreciated and requested! have a fantastic day/night lovelies 💋💋

tags: @gongyoosgf @strangelife122 @agorsnotworld @luvlyfandoms @putrescentpoet

[allgoodnamesrgoneee]

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Silent Conversations

Masterlist

𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 — After living in Madrid for nearly a year, Jude's gotten the hang of spanish. So he never thought he’d have to learn a new language just to flirt with someone—until he meets you.

���𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 — Jude Bellingham x Deaf!reader

𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 — 9.7k

Warnings! FLUFF!! Jude is kind of obsessed with you in the best way, lover boy, you're very adorable in this one, reader speaks but can't hear, reader can read lips,

Preview

********** Being deaf and a chatterbox is a contradiction that most people don’t know how to wrap their heads around.

But it’s who you are.

Since you can remember, you've always loved to talk—loved filling spaces with words, with thoughts, with laughter. Being deaf has never stopped you. If anything, it’s only made you more creative in how you communicate.

People underestimate how much talking you can do with your hands, how much personality you can pour into a single sign, a raised brow, a quick smirk. They think "talking" only means sound, that conversations without voices are somehow lesser, as if the absence of noise makes words any less real. You’ve spent your whole life proving them wrong.

And tonight is no different.

Your little brother practically vibrates with excitement next to you, hands flying as he signs about how insane the game was. He’s been a Real Madrid fan for as long as he’s been able to walk, and your parents had gone all out for his birthday—jerseys, meet&greet tickets, the whole experience.

So far, the night has been going well.

Your family has been cheering and chanting for Real Madrid alongside the thousands of other fans packed into the stadium, their voices blending into the electric hum of excitement that fills the air. The game has been nothing short of exhilarating, each pass, each near goal sending waves of emotion through the crowd.

Your hands ache from the number of times you’ve signed to your brother, asking for updates on what’s happening when the movements on the field become too chaotic to follow. He’s been patient, grinning as he translates key moments for you, his enthusiasm infectious.

When the final whistle blows, confirming Real Madrid’s victory, the stadium erupts into cheers. Your family is ecstatic, jumping to their feet and embracing one another in celebration. You smile, soaking in the energy, but exhaustion is already creeping in. The weight of tomorrow morning sits heavily on your shoulders.

You love nights like this—love the way your father’s face lights up after a good match, love the way your younger cousins beam with pride, shouting the players’ names like they know them personally—but you can’t afford to linger. Not when your boss expects you bright-eyed and fully alert at the crack of dawn.

You sigh, glancing at the time. If you leave now, you’ll get home at a decent hour, and maybe you'll get six hours in tonight. I should go, you sign to your brother.

He frowns. So soon?  

"I have work in the morning."  

He relays this to the rest of your family, and they groan in unison. Your mother reaches out, squeezing your arm in understanding. "Text us when you get home," you read on her lips.

You nod, exchanging quick hugs before making your way toward the exit.

The corridors are still crowded with lingering fans, some of them stopping to take pictures or rewatch highlights on their phones. You weave through them, emerging into the crisp night air just outside the stadium, and pull out your phone to call for an Uber.

Five minutes.

Not too bad.

You exhale, shoving your free hand into the pocket of your jacket as you make your way toward the designated pick-up area near the parking lot. Your feet ache slightly from standing for so long, and the cool breeze is a welcome relief after being surrounded by so much body heat. You scroll through your phone absentmindedly, debating whether to pass the time by answering a few messages or just watching the people around you.

That’s when you feel it.

A presence.

It’s subtle at first—a shift in the atmosphere, a slight prickling at the back of your neck. Then, footsteps. Slow. Unsteady.

You look up just in time to see him stumbling toward you.

The acrid scent of alcohol hits you first. It’s overpowering, the kind of stench that clings to a person’s skin and clothes, the kind that makes your stomach churn. He’s disheveled, his jacket slipping off one shoulder, his eyes unfocused. But there’s something sharp in the way he grins at you, something that immediately puts you on edge.

"Hey," he slurs.

Your grip tightens around your phone. You don't respond. Instead, you take a step back, angling your body away from him. But before you can put more distance between you, his hand shoots out, gripping your wrist with surprising strength.

"I'm talking to you, you little bitch!"

Panic spikes through you like ice water.

Your breath hitches, your heart hammering as you instinctively jerk back, trying to free yourself from his grasp. Your hands move on their own, the motions quick, desperate. Leave me alone.  

The man’s face scrunches in confusion. "What? What are you doin' with your hands?"

You swallow hard, pulse racing. You try again, this time forcing yourself to speak, hoping the sounds come out right. "I can't hear you. I'm deaf."

His expression twists into something cruel. "Deaf?" He laughs, loud and mean. "You serious?" His grip tightens. "C'mon, don’t be like that. Just talk to me.I can show you a good time."

Your throat constricts. You shake your head quickly, signing, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, over and over, even though you know there’s nothing to apologize for. It’s just instinct. A plea for him to stop, to let go.

But he doesn’t. If anything, your silence only makes him angrier.

"Stop doin' that shit!" he snaps. "Just say something!"

Before you can react, before the panic fully settles into terror, a shadow moves behind him. Fast. Deliberate. A hand clamps down on his shoulder, yanking him backward with enough force that he nearly loses his balance.

"That’s enough, mate." The voice is low, firm. Unmistakably authoritative.

The drunk stumbles, blinking in confusion as he turns to face whoever pulled him away. And that’s when you see him.

Jude Bellingham.

He’s taller than you expected, broader too, his frame imposing even in casual clothes. His coils are damp, like he just stepped out of the showers, and there’s an undeniable exhaustion in his features—deep shadows under his eyes, a certain heaviness to the way he holds himself.

But none of that matters right now. Right now, his entire focus is on the man in front of him, his jaw tight with barely contained irritation.

The drunk sneers. "Who the fuck—"

"Walk away," Jude says flatly.

The man wobbles slightly, his mind struggling to catch up as he starts recognizes Jude. His eyes widen. "I was just—"

"I don’t care." Jude’s voice is sharper now, cutting through the drunken haze like a blade. "She’s not interested. Walk away."

There’s a moment of hesitation. A beat where the drunk seems to consider whether or not this is a fight worth picking. He glances between you and Jude, his lip curling in annoyance, before finally, begrudgingly, releasing a scoff.

"Whatever," he mutters, stumbling back. "Wasn’t even worth it."

You don’t breathe until he’s gone.

The moment he disappears into the crowd, your entire body sags, tension draining so quickly that your knees feel weak. You swallow, pressing a hand to your chest in an attempt to steady yourself.

Jude turns to you then, his brows knitting together in concern. "You alright?"

You nod automatically, even though you’re not entirely sure it’s true. Your hands tremble slightly as you sign, Thank you.

Jude watches your hands carefully, and your gaze shifts to his lips expecting him to say something next—to offer words you wouldn't be able to hear. Instead, he hesitates, then lifts his hands.

You… okay? The sign is clumsy, the movements stiff, but the effort makes your heart stop.

He had recognized what you were signing before. He had understood. you think.

You nodded, your throat tight with gratitude. He relaxed a little at your response, but still glanced around, protective. "You waiting on someone?" His lips move slower this time, giving you a chance to read them.

You nod again, holding up your phone. "Uber." The words come out in a bit of a slur but he understands them.

Jude frowns, looking at your screen. "Two minutes?"

He must have seen the time displayed on your phone because there’s no way he could’ve understood the tone of your nod. "Yeah."

The way he scowls in response makes you think that’s not an acceptable answer. His eyes shift, scanning the parking lot, and you can practically see the wheels turning in his mind. "Look, you want to wait inside? The security team can keep an eye on you till your Uber arrives."

His concern is sweet, and you find yourself nodding before you can think. "Okay. Thank you."

You let him lead you back to the main building, where there’s a security team waiting by the entrance. He explains your situation, and they offer you a smile. They won't let you stay inside the stadium since the game has already ended, but they’re willing to stand outside with you until your car arrives.

You nod in gratitude and wave a goodbye as Jude makes to leave. You expect him to keep going, to be on his way, but instead, he hesitates. For a second, he just looks at you, as if deciding something, but he shakes his head, offering a quick smile as he slips away into the night.

The security team stays with you the whole time. They make sure you’re safe and wave down your Uber when it arrives. You thank them and climb into your car, making your way home.

That’s it, you think. That’s where the story ends.

But it’s only the beginning.

**********

-Bianca🌻

[spectoo]

tuna mayo ! miya osamu

chapter four – props to you, sakusa

wc 4050 (sorry, this chapter is little long!)

MDNI.

if you'd like to join the taglist , please fill out this form !

13:50.

“Alright, everybody! Thank you for coming to the lecture today, and if you have any questions, please feel free to ask me or any of the TA’s.”

With that being said, everybody in your communications lecture got up and began to either walk towards the professor with curiosity roaming throughout, or pack up and leave. You never really had much trouble with classes, as you were an outstanding student, but to be honest, school wasn’t the only thing on your mind.

You couldn’t stop thinking about Miya Osamu.

Well, more specifically, you couldn’t stop thinking about the food he had made for you. Yes, he himself was running through your mind, but the food was more important. It was seriously some of the best you’ve had. It had been six days since you were at Onigiri Miya, and quite frankly, you’ve been itching to go back.

As you walked out of the building you were in, you were debating if you should go get lunch there. You had work in about an hour and a half, yet, there were numerous thoughts roaming throughout your head.

‘Would it be weird if I went without Atsumu? Or just in general? But, I did tell Miya I was gonna be back eventually…’

The frustration got to you, and in response, you let out a small huff while beginning the short walk to your car. You did want to go back to Onigiri Miya to try other rice ball flavors, but you didn’t want to make things awkward. Would Atsumu be okay with the fact that you found his twin brother attractive?

‘Probably not.’

You reached in your pocket to pull out your car keys, as your car was in full view. If you did want to go to Onigiri Miya, who could you possibly go with? More accurately, who would be the best option to go with?

You didn’t want to take any of your personal friends with you, as you didn’t want them to catch on to the fact that you’re interested in someone new. You opened your car door, and quickly situated yourself.

slam!

You began to scroll through your contacts on your phone to decide who you should take with you.

‘Atsumu, no. Hinata… no. Inunaki? Out of the question. Bokuto, hell no. He has a big mouth.’ Finally your eyes landed on the perfect person to text.

You were surprised at the fact that Sakusa had agreed to come with you, let alone the fact that he was okay with being in the same car as you. You knew he wasn’t a big fan of being pretty close to other individuals, but a win is a win.

You were glad that you became acquaintances with him. He wasn’t the type of guy to really get involved in other people's business, and this was a good opportunity to possibly become actual friends with him.

You put your car in drive, and left campus while setting directions to Sakusa’s apartment, with new thoughts about what you should order when you arrive at Onigiri Miya.

𐙚 OSAMU

As mentioned before, it had been six days since you were last at his store. He had been wondering when you were going to come back.

He was currently sitting in his office at Onigiri Miya, and was filling out some order forms. Rush hour had recently ended, and he was glad he was able to take a short ‘break.’ His three scheduled employees were currently cleaning some areas of the kitchen.

A part of him wished he had asked for your number so he was able to know if you were even going to come back, but then again, you both only met once. And plus, Atsumu considered you to be one of his closest friends. The last time Osamu had expressed to Atsumu that he thought one of his female friends was somewhat attractive, a small, verbal fight had broken out.

Please note that this was back in highschool, too.

Yes, years had gone by, and they’ve both grown into (somewhat) mature adults, but Atsumu was still unpredictable.

‘He probably wants her for himself.’ Osamu scoffed. ‘Selfish pig.’

𐙚 YOU

14:16.

“I’m outside.” You spoke as you put your car in park. You had arrived at Sakusa's apartment complex, which was rather luxurious.

“I’ll be down in a second.” A deep voice responded back through the speakers of your car.

“Okay, bye.” You ended the call.

As you laid back in your seat, you decided to observe the scenery around you. His apartment complex was truly gorgeous. There was a lot of greenery, yet it was all neatly planted. You looked to your left, and saw the volleyball player walking towards your car in his usual outfit – some black gym shoes, black joggers, a black hoodie, and a black mask.

‘He wasn’t even lying when he said he’d be down in a second…’ You thought to yourself as you unlocked the car. 

As he opened the door, he immediately sat down, and quickly settled himself.

You bowed your head as a greeting. Shortly after bowing, you began to nod your head, as you were very impressed with him. “Props to you, Sakusa. You’re very punctual with your timing.”

He pulled down his mask, and bowed back to you. “Thank you, [L/N].” 

You quickly put in the navigation for Onigiri Miya, and began the drive.

“So, how’s your day been?” You ask, trying to start a conversation.

“It was okay. How about you? You had classes today, correct?” He responded neutrally.

You smiled. You remember mentioning your school schedule to Sakusa, yet he didn’t seem to be fully interested as you were telling him. “Correct. My day was great, but I got assigned a project for one of my elective classes. It’s okay though, it was expected."

He let out a small ‘hm' before going on his phone and scrolling. You quickly glanced at him, and focused back on the road, while gently tapping your finger on the steering wheel. ‘So much for communication.’

14:25.

There was about five minutes left of the drive, and you and Sakusa haven’t really spoken a word since your failed conversation, yet, you considered the both of you to be sitting in comfortable silence. ‘Popular’ by The Weeknd was currently playing, and the volume was at the perfect amount. You were internally jamming out, but was interrupted.

“[L/N].”

You look over at the curly haired man sitting beside you, and turn the volume down a bit.

“What’s up?” You ask, turning your head back, and keeping your eyes on the road in front of you.

“Have you been to Onigiri Miya before? Or is this your first time?” 

You were a bit taken back by this, even though it was pretty unserious. “Uh, yeah. I tried it for the first time about a week ago.”

A small silence… “I went with Atsumu and Hinata.” You continued, in a less confident manner.

“Ah.” Sakusa looked out his window, and you thought that was the end of the conversation. Yet, he spoke once more, turning back to you. “So, you met Osamu? What did you think of him?”

Your heart dropped. Logically speaking, you shouldn’t even be concerned in this first place, but why was he asking question, after question? You decided to stay quiet for as long as you possibly could, while thinking of a proper answer. A couple seconds have gone by at this point, and Sakusa was still staring at you, expecting an answer.

You quickly turn your head towards him, with a still face, and turn back. “Um, you know… Miya seems like a nice guy.” Your eyes quickly move to the ETA on your carplay. ‘2 minutes…’ With that being said, you pressed the gas pedal with a little more pressure to speed up. You didn’t know where this conversation was going, which made you a bit tense.

Sakusa seemed to notice this, and nodded his head, deciding to stop talking.

‘What was that even about? Like? ... Oh, I have to turn here.’

You make a right turn, and enter the plaza where Onigiri Miya is located. It’s all starting to seem familiar to you. You decide to park in the same spot you were in last time, and after you turn off your car, both you and Sakusa get out simultaneously. He quickly pulled his mask up, and the both of you walked to the door.

You opened the door for him, and went in behind him. Immediately after entering, you’re both greeted by one of the female employees at the store.

“Hello, welcome in!” she spoke as she bowed to the both of you.

You both nodded back. You and Sakusa walked closer to the counter, and the first thing you noticed was that Osamu wasn’t in your sight at all. You were immediately disappointed, yet didn’t think much of it. As you look up at the menu, you hear Sakusa speak.

“Could you tell Miya to come to the front?”

The disappointment you felt earlier was gone at once.

“No problem.” 

You briefly look at the worker, and see her walking to the back, most presumably to his office.

‘Round two, Miya.’ You smirked.

𐙚 OSAMU

knock knock!

“Boss, Sakusa is here with someone else, and he asked for you!”

Osamu immediately looked up from his paperwork, and put his pen down. ‘No shot.’ He thought as he got up, and straightened out his clothes.

He opened the door that leads out of his office, and to the kitchen. He could feel some anxious feelings being brought up within himself, but paid no mind. “Thank you, Ito. Could you go help prepare some fillings?”

“Yes.” She slightly bowed, and walked away.

Osamu began walking towards the front. He saw Sakusa first, staring back at him. And… It was you. A little bit distant from Sakusa, and looking at the menu.

“Hey, Sakusa.” Osamu turned to look at you, to already see you staring back at him. “Hello, [L/N]. I was wonderin’ when you were gonna show up again.” He said as he put his hand on his hips, while internally cursing himself out. He was trying to act nonchalant, but his true feelings got the best of him.

You responded with a chuckle. “Hey, Miya. I would’ve showed up sooner, but school got the best of me.”

As you and Osamu began a new conversation about what you would potentially be ordering this time, nothing between the both of you went unnoticed by Sakusa. Yes, he was quiet sometimes, but he was still observant. He noticed how you had that little smile plastered upon your face while talking with Osamu. He also noticed how Osamu’s cheeks began to flush a very light pink color, which Sakusa has never seen him do before.

“Helloooo, earth to Sakusa? Are you there?” He immediately snaps out of his daze to see you waving your hand at a safe distance in front of his face. “Hello.”

“Ya want the usual, ‘Omi?” Osamu began tapping some buttons on his register, before Sakusa could respond. Yet, nothing was wrong with this as the curly haired man began to nod his head.

“Uh, also, put [L/N]’s order on the same bill as mine.” He quickly spoke, putting his hands in his pocket.

You raised an eyebrow, and turned to Sakusa. “Oh? Why?”

“You picked me up, and drove me here.”

You stayed silent for a second, truly wondering if he was being serious. Yet, you internally grinned. This was your opportunity to drop the ‘friend’ bomb on him.

“Um… we’re friends. I don’t mind having to drive you to places.” Nailed it.

He sighed, and pulled his mask down. “I suppose. I’ll still pay, though.”

You shrugged, and internally came up with the solution to just pay for him the next time you both get food together. “Okay… um… I think I’ll do two bonito flake rice balls, and three tenmusu.”

“What? No vigorous amount today?” Osamu responded back, tapping more buttons on his screen.

“I actually can’t. My stomach began to hurt after I got back to my apartment last time.”

“What did ya expect? Ya had fifteen onigiri.” He grinned as he put both of his hands on the counter in front of him.

“Excuse me, [L/N]? You had fifteen?” Sakusa looked absolutely disgusted.

You didn’t even know what to say. You pursed your lips together and looked away. After a couple of seconds of silence between the three of you, you spoke up, and pointed to a table in the corner. “I’m going to sit there.” And with that being said you, walked away.

“Alright, ‘Omi. Yer total is ¥2,500. Ya doin card?”

Sakusa nodded his head, and handed Osamu his card. “By the way, could you, uh, make my onigiri to go?”

Osamu briefly looked up at the man in front of him, and looked back down to the card reader. “Yer not eatin’ with [L/N]?”

“I am, it’s just in case.”

Osamu let out a small “hm,” and handed Sakusa his card back. “Should be out in a couple minutes.”

With that, Sakusa walked to the table you were at, and took a seat across from you. You put your phone down, and the both of you begin to have a small conversation about relations to MSBY.

14:38.

“Order up.”

You and Sakusa both look at Osamu, holding a ceramic plate with one hand, and a plastic bag with the other. Sakusa gets up and bows to him, then grabs both from him without any issue. 

“Whose bag is that?” You ask while pointing at it.

“Oh…” Sakusa puts your plate on the table, yet doesn’t sit back down. “It’s mine. My um– Meian texted me and asked me to come early to practice. So I got my food to go.”

You stare at him with a bewildered look on your face. “Meian texted you?” You tried confirming. You don’t remember him going on his phone since you both walked into the store, and you know that Meian would not be the one to text him, it would be Coach Foster.

“Yeah… so I’ll be leaving.”

You slowly nod your head. He didn’t sound too confident with his answers, and at this point, you knew he was making this up. “Okay, no problem. But how are you gonna get there? I drove you, ya’ know.”

Sakusa averted his eyes from you, and to the window behind, and almost immediately, a red Lexus EX, with tinted windows, halted directly in front of the store. As you heard the tires screeching, you turned around to get a quick look, and before you knew it, Sakusa bolted out of Onigiri Miya, and almost instantly, got into the car.

You watched with so much confusion as the car sped away, wondering where everything within this situation went wrong. Soon enough, you could hear footsteps getting closer to you, yet you continued to look out the window.

“Did Sakusa just leave ya by yerself?” A deep voice spoke. You didn’t even have to look at the person to know who it was.

“Yeah, it was really weird. I’ve never seen him leave abruptly like that.” You can feel Osamu’s eyes on you, and as you turn around to look at him, you’re met with a view of his sculpted chest, yet, at a safe distance. The shirt he was wearing wasn’t even covering the outline of his upper body. 

You internally thanked God for this view, although eventually realized that you were quite literally just staring at his chest. You quickly shift your eyes to his face, only to be met with a smirk, which causes the tips of your ears to turn red. ‘Fuck.’ Is the only word appropriate enough to react with, because how else would you respond to this situation?

“Would ya like me to make yer onigiri to go? I doubt you’d wanna stay here by yerself.” Osamu asked, crossing his arms and keeping that smug look on his face.

You thought to yourself for a moment, and realized that this was your chance to learn more about him. And probably throw in a little flirting.

You put your right elbow on the table, and put your cheek in the palm of your hand, still keeping eye contact with Osamu. “Y’know, I would say yes, but I did come here for a reason.”

“Oh? Care ta’ elaborate?” 

You mentally shrieked like a teenage girl. You loved where this was going. “What fun would there be if I did, Miya?”

𐙚 OSAMU

‘Is this actually happening?’

You coming to Osamu’s store was already the highlight of his day, but this conversation the two of you are having? He can’t handle it. Just imagine how he feels – he’s been wanting to see you for almost a week, and his wish has been fulfilled. Even with more added to it!

Then, almost instantly, he had the best idea. ‘Should I do… it?’ He wondered. He didn’t want to come off as weird, but he thought of a way to continue this conversation, and see more of your face while working.

He let out a brief huff, and grabbed your plate with the five uneaten rice balls on it. 

“My food.” You whined, just loud enough for him to hear. He thought that was cute.

He then sets your dish at the counter that overlooks the kitchen, which could give whoever sits there a clear view of him and his employees, making the food.

He looks back at you, and motions for you to come and sit there. “I’ll keep ya company while ya eat.”

‘Was that slick enough?’ He asked himself, feeling unsure, but when he sees you pick up your necessities, and start walking to him, he can’t help but feel like he’s won the lottery.

𐙚 YOU

As you get closer, you watch the handsome man as he pulls out a specific chair for you, and you gladly take a seat. Then after, he pushes you in, and goes behind the counter, preparing to make more rice balls for his display case.

“Do you treat all your customers like this?” You asked, finally picking up one of your onigiri, and taking a bite out of it.

Osamu is directly in front of you, and as you’re chewing, your eyesight falls to his hands, looking through the glass, and watching the way he is sculpting the rice.

‘So he’s good with his hands, huh?’

“Eh, just the pretty ones.”

You immediately look back up at him, to see him already staring at you. You swallowed, and spoke. “Acting confident, are we?”

He chuckled, and began to wrap the onigiri he had just completed. “I’m just tellin’ it how I see it.”

You rolled your eyes while smiling, and took another bite of your food. “Thank you.”

Osamu briefly walked away to put the onigiri on display, which gave you some time to observe him, but from behind. You realized he had an upside down triangle body shape, which you found incredibly attractive. Your eyes then moved to his butt, and you cursed yourself in your head. ‘Why can’t mine be as big as his?’

“Oi, [L/N]. Ya checkin’ me out?” His voice startled you, causing you to instantly look anywhere else but him.

“I dunno what you’re talking about.” You denied. He could see right through you. He knew you were staring at him, and truth to be told, he didn’t mind at all.

You move your eyes back to his face, and sigh, before taking another bite out of your onigiri.

“Whatever ya say.” He began to work on the next onigiri, and once more, you looked at the way his hands stuffed the rice with filling.

15:08.

Time had gone by since you were seated at the counter, and you were nearing the end of your little trip to Onigiri Miya. You had already finished all five of your onigiri towards the beginning of your conversation with him, but stayed to talk. You ended up learning more about him, and he learned about you. 

He told you that he was from the Hyogo prefecture, and he grew up with no other siblings besides Atsumu. He had also mentioned that he went to Inarizaki, and played volleyball as a kid, up until highschool. He was a wing spiker, and he was damn good at what he did. When it came down to you, you told him where you grew up, and how many siblings you have in contrast to him. You brought up the fact that you had played a couple of different sports when you were a kid, but didn’t have the passion to really continue as you grew older.

As the both of you were laughing at a joke you had made, you looked down at your phone, and saw the time. You had to leave for work now if you didn’t want to be late and risk getting lectured by one of your supervisors.

You sighed as you stood up, and handed Osamu your plate.

“Ya gotta go?” He asked, taking it from you, and putting it in the sink.

“Yeah, unfortunately I have work at 15:30.” 

He wanted to tell you something along the lines of ‘Who cares about your job? Just skip work and stay here with me!,’ but obviously, he couldn’t. Instead, he said with a thin lined smile, “Well, ya gotta do whatcha’ gotta do.”

You nodded as you stood up, and grabbed your necessities, shoving them in your pockets. You look at Osamu, and bow. “Thanks for keeping me company, Miya. You didn’t have to.”

He began to wave one of his hands in a dismissive way. “Ya don’t have to bow, [L/N]. In all honesty, I wanted to continue talking to ya. Yer a lighthearted person, and ya can’t find much of that nowadays.”

Your eyes literally twinkled at that compliment. “I appreciate that. For all that It’s worth, thanks for not being unamusing.” And with one final bow, you began to make your way to the door.

Your heart began to pound, due to the fact that you were proud of yourself. Proud of yourself for not acting awkward, and for having a good time with a ten out of ten. Before you could reach the door handle, said ten out of ten called out to you.

“Wait, [L/N].” You turned around to already see him walking to you, phone in his hand. You waited until he got close enough to you, and when he did, you both stood there, staring at each other. It seemed like he wanted to say something, but was hesitating.

Therefore, you took initiative. “Are you okay?” you asked, raising an eyebrow. Then, almost instantly, he held out his phone, with the contact app already opened.

“Can I have yer number?”

You swore you almost fainted.

“U-uh, yeah! Sure.” You quickly muttered out, trying to hide the blush that was present on your face.

You also grabbed your phone and opened the contact app, ultimately, switching phones with each other.

𐙚 Bonus

14:39.

After Ongiri Miya was out of distance, Sakusa groaned, and looked at the individual who was driving the red Lexus. “Why do you drive like a maniac?”

“Nevermind that! Do you think she’s going to end up staying?”

Sakusa turned his head to look out the passenger window, and stayed silent for a couple of seconds, thinking about a proper answer. “In truth, I believe she’s going to stay. They seemed to take a liking to one another.”

A satisfied hum was used as a response by the driver, and after a few moments of tranquility between the two, Sakusa spoke once more.

“I don’t understand why you’re getting involved in a non-existent romantic relationship that isn’t yours, Hinata.”

The ginger rolled his eyes, and focused back on the road. “It might be non-existent now, Sakusa, but I get the vibe that they’re eventually going to end up together.” His mood lightened up, and he began to grin.

“Why not help kickstart her future relationship?"

authors notes !

𐙚 sorry that this chapter was long ! i kinda just word vomitted , and stuck with it .

𐙚 reblogs are always appreciated !

𐙚 i hope you enjoyed this chapter , my beloved reader-chan ! <3

taglist: @reuka1 @enepsigosthelast @arwawawa2 @miruac

[writing-until-i-drop]

Wildflowers For A Hangman Ch. 25

Summary:

Daisy, a career novelist, moves in with her college best friend Phoenix who has been permanently assigned to Top Gun with Dagger Squad. She finds herself instantly connected with a cocky pilot who's soft only for her and Jake can't help but want to know everything about her. When the past comes knocking at both of their doors, will they stand together or fall apart?

Or: The Dagger Squad can't cook and Jake falls in love with a woman who makes a mean lasagna while they work their personal trauma.

Jake "Hangman" Seresin x writer!femOC | 18+ (eventually) minors dni. Fluff, smut (eventual), idiots in love, past trauma.

Harvey and the babies come to visit and more than just one couple is having thoughts about newborns

AO3 Link

Previous Chapter

“How did my beautiful fiance sleep?” Jake whispers, kissing the back of my neck. It had been a week since his return and we were still in a blissful bubble, spending as much time as possible wrapped up in each other outside of work. 

“Hand’s asleep,” I mumbled, turning to face him. “Something heavy’s on it,” I put my left hand on his chest, admiring the ring there. The heirloom was perfect and it meant so much to me that pops had chosen to give it to me, that his whole family had schemed to make the proposal special. Everything about our engagement was perfect.

“How many mornings in a row are you planning on using that same joke?” Jake slid a hand beneath my shirt, fingers splaying across my back. He was looking at me like I hung the stars and the moon in the sky, like I was his entire universe, and I thought back to the days where I wasn’t sure if Jake was flirting for the hell of it and wondered how I could have been so blind to the love in his eyes. 

“As many as I damn well please,” I arched to kiss him, tasting the mint of his tooth paste. He must have woken up earlier and crawled back in bed with me so that I wouldn’t wake up alone, something I hated to do after being without him for so long. Jake hummed into the kiss, rolling me onto my back. My sleep pants were already abandoned on the bedroom floor thanks to a middle of the night quickie, and it was easy for my panties to join them there. 

“I love you,” Jake whispered, fingers sliding between my folds, igniting the fire within me that burned for him. He swirled his fingers around my sensitive bundle of nerves, pulling needy noises from me. “And I’m gonna marry you.” 

“I’ve still got, oh my god,” I moaned as Jake began slowly working his fingers inside of me, “Still got time to run away at the altar.” He rolled his eyes, 

“I run faster than you, I’m not worried.” 

“Asshole,” I laughed, pinching his side. It was nice being able to love and laugh at the same time, his fingers never faltering, preparing me to take him. “I’d have Javy trip you, give me a head start.” Jake shook with gentle laughter,

“You think my best friend would betray me like that?” My response was cut off by a moan, feeling Jake push into me, filling and stretching me. No one else had ever felt this good. Maybe it was because Jake was extremely good looking and knew what he was doing in bed. Or maybe it was because I loved him just as much as he loved me.

“He would,” I rocked my hips, urging him to move. “Because his girlfriend would be my getaway driver.” Jake kissed away my giggles as he fucked me and we took turns expressing how much we loved each other. When he came, it was with my name on his lips and I swallowed it with a kiss, loving the taste on my tongue. 

Tasha was on my shoulders, taping up the birthday banner. Harvey, Emma, and the girls were going to disney for Sarah’s birthday and had decided to stop by for a day to celebrate the day before. 

“Is it straight?” Tasha asked, stretching for the corner, testing my own balance. I tried to look but felt my center of gravity shift and decided that a crooked banner was better than an ER trip.

“I’m sure it’s fine,” I walked us back towards the couch and slowly lowered us until she could climb off of my shoulders. 

“There’s going to be beer involved at some point today, right?” Tasha pouted, “Because I’m really hoping there’s beer involved.” 

“Jake’s bringing the beer,” I promised, kissing her on the cheek. “Javy’s getting the balloons, I already made the cake for tonight. All we need to do is get lunch prepped and get ready.” I had everything planned out on my phone for the day, not wanting to waste a minute of time with my nieces, even though I knew they’d be happy if I just sat them in the living room with a Disney princess movie and a trough of candy. 

“I’ll leave lunch to you, unless the little monsters want burnt pasta,” Natasha gently elbowed my side with a grin.

“Shut up and shower,” I rolled my eyes. Little monsters. That girl loved my nieces and I had a sneaking suspicion I would become chopped liver the second they saw her. Auntie Daisy was cool and all but Auntie Tasha? She flew planes for a living and was sooooo much cooler (according to Sarah at least). Once they got their adorable hands on her, my only hope for love and affection would be from baby Jill. 

“Auntie Tasha!” Sarah screeched, dropping Harvey’s hand and flinging herself at Natasha. Javy and Jake both looked confused and amused by the display of affection,

“Auntie Daisy!” Haley ran forward, attaching herself to my legs like a koala bear. “We’re going to see Mickey!” 

“Yeah you are,” I scooped her up into my arms, kissing all over her face before settling the giggling toddler on my hip. 

“You must be the boys dating my sisters,” Harvey’s “big brother” voice had me biting back a laugh, “Pilots, right?” I rolled my eyes, looking at Emma who just shrugged, patting baby Jill who was in one of those swaddle-carrying things on her chest.

“Jake Seresin, it’s nice to finally meet you, Harvey.” Jake turned on the charm, offering a handshake, “Sorry I couldn’t make it to Christmas.” 

“Wait, he’s a pilot too?” Sarah whispered unsuccessfully to Natasha and I couldn’t hold back the laughter anymore, neither could Tasha apparently. 

“They both are, little monster. But don’t worry, Auntie Tasha’s still the best pilot in the world,” She glared at Jake when he opened his mouth to disagree.

“Want Tasha,” Haley tugged on my shirt. It was nice while it lasted, I let her down and watched as Natasha effortlessly picked her up and placed her on her other hip, opposite Sarah. I looked at Emma,

“It’s good to see you but I fear we’ve been forgotten about,” We did a side-hug around Jill.

“It’s been a long car ride,” Emma sighed, rubbing her forehead. “I’ve heard “mom” so many times that I’m happy to be forgotten about.” 

“Why don’t you go up to my room and have a few minutes of alone time? I’ll take Jill and get you once the girls are ready for lunch.” Emma grabbed my cheeks with both hands, bringing my forehead within kissing distance,

“You’re an angel, I married the wrong Prentiss.” 

X

Harvey was nice, quickly changing from trying to be a protective big brother to laughing and joking with Javy and I about everything from our jobs, to sports, to Natasha and Daisy. Javy’s attention kept drifting to Natasha, who was sitting on the couch with both of the older girls glued to her side, watching something animated on the TV. Daisy was in the armchair with Jill on her chest, humming softly and kissing the baby’s head. 

The images I had imagined of Daisy with a baby while I had been reading her letters on the ship were nothing compared to seeing it in real life. She looked so perfect, I mean, she was always perfect, but it was clear that Daisy loved her niece and the idea of her with our kid? That was a lot to handle, especially surrounded by kids and her brother.

Daisy looked over at me, cradling Jill with one arm, her other hand reaching out to me. I excused myself from the conversation and crossed the room to squat down beside her,

“Hi, baby,” 

“Hey,” She smiled softly, whispering. “Just wanted to give you a quick kiss.” Who was I to deny her? It was chaste and short but it still had my heart kicking into overdrive.

“Do you know what you’re doing to me with all of these kids, Wildflower?” I whispered, gently running my fingertips over Jill’s arm. 

“Trust me, Cowboy, I’m struggling just as much as you are.” Really? Interesting… I kissed her cheek, whispering into her ear so that only she could hear me.

“All you have to do is ask, Daisy.” Daisy swallowed hard, her cheeks burning red. “And it looks like we’re not the only ones thinking about it.” Daisy turned her head, biting her lip to keep from giggling when she saw the way Natasha was eyeing Javy like a piece of meat.

“Our kids can share birthday parties,” She teased softly. I could imagine it, Javy and I grilling hotdogs and hamburgers while little kids ran all around, Natasha and Daisy keeping an eye on them, making sure everyone was having fun. The rest of the daggers would be there, hopefully with their own kids and partners, and Mav would be trying and failing to hide his excitement after buying a totally over-the-top present that Penny told him not to. 

“I can’t wait to marry you,” Is all I said in response, kissing her forehead before standing back up, “Do you need anything?” 

“Can you heat up lunch? I want to get everyone fed so we can take the girls shopping.” 

“Your wish is my command.”

Next Chapter

Taglist: @dizzybee03 @littlezee80 @nervousenemyduck @carolina-on-my-mind03 @mizzzpink @beltzboys2015-blog @writingrose @hookslove1592 @closetspngirl @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @closetspngirl @shanimallina87 @owenniasstars @cevansbaby-dove @caitsymichelle13 @bigstrongblackheart @mrsevans90 @djs8891 @memoriesat30

[lillaydee]

The Unlucky One Part 6

Joel Miller (No Outbreak AU) / F Reader

When it comes to love, Lady Luck seems to have lost your address. After being left at the altar without so much of an explanation, you decided love is no longer something you are interested in. Not even meeting an unlucky-in-love-himself Mr. Grump could change your mind.

Right?

Let me know if you want to be tagged, or if you want to be removed from the tag list.

WARNINGS: Protective Joel (The Last of Us), Good Parent Joel (The Last of Us), Soft Joel (The Last of Us), Joel is Bad at Feelings (The Last of Us), Joel Needs a Hug (The Last of Us), Hurt Joel (The Last of Us), Grumpy Joel (The Last of Us), Jealousy, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Idiots in Love, unlucky in love, Child Abandonment, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Alternate Universe - No Cordyceps Outbreak (The Last of Us)

@peelieblue, @vickie5446, @harriedandharassed, @lovefreylove @martuxduckling @kikookii @liciafonseca

SERIES MASTER LIST

Part 5

---

Fuck.

Fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck!

It’s him. Mr Grump. Joel. The man you had an extremely memorable night with. The man who gave you the best sex of your life. The man you cried so much about after he left, even more so than you did with Andrew ditching you at the altar.

The man you couldn’t stop thinking about, whose kisses, touches and caresses you still feel when you sleep at night.

And this nice woman, the woman who was so sweet and thoughtful she ran over when she heard a crash that she banged on your door to make sure you, a stranger she had never met was alright. The woman so lovely she offered her men’s services (she had more than one man?) to help you out with assembling your mountain of Ikea furniture so you could save some money.

The woman who Mr Grump cheated on. With you.

Oh… you were going to hell. You had bought a house next door to the man you had a fling with. The one he shared with his ‘baby’, Tess.

Joel took out a backpack from the passenger seat before turning around to close the door. He saw Tess and smiled at her.

“Come here, I want you to meet our new neighbour!” she waved him over.

Joel saw you and froze.

Oh shit, it’s her, he thought. It’s you. The woman he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about. You’re here. You’re his neighbour. He swore his heart was about to leap out of his mouth and skip over to you out of happiness.

But then… that look on your face.

You didn’t seem too happy to see him.

In fact, you seemed to be panicking.

Why weren’t you happy to see him?

Why would you be panicking?

For the first time since he last saw you, after weeks of pining and reminiscing about you, going through one restless night after another wondering what he did wrong, if he was so bad in bed you had decided to ghost him, falling asleep only to dream of your naked body in his arms, a horrific thought came to his head.

He remembered seeing a man come by a few times these past few weeks. He thought the guy was the one buying the house, making a mental note to go over and say hi once he’s all moved in.

Fuck. Tess said you were the new neighbour. You were with him. You were married, weren’t you? But you were not wearing a ring. You had a boyfriend, then? At that moment he wanted to kick himself for not seeing it. Of course you were taken. Someone as great, as beautiful as you? What stupid man wouldn’t snatch you up?

And he slept with you.

And now you’d moved in next door. With your man. And he had to keep his mouth shut about that wonderful night, the one where he had the best sex of his life - fuck he could still feel your touches on his body, could still hear your moans - and just watch as you live your life with your man.

“Joel?” Tess’s wave got more aggressive.

He could see you fidget, as if trying to get away. But Tess kept waving, and try as he might to resist, his feet just moved on their own volition, his body drawn to you like metal to a magnet. But his face… his face just felt frozen. He couldn’t even smile. He wanted to, so badly. Wanted to show you how happy he was to see you again. But the thought that had just invaded his mind wouldn’t go away, and all he could think of was that you had cheated on this man, this very good looking man he saw going in and out of the house these past weeks, with him.

You cheated on your man. With him. He helped a cheater cheat.  

Fuck.

He finally got to your doorstep, and Tess gave him the usual hug and peck on the cheek, his body stiff. He could see your face turn hard, eyes boring into his, as if you were trying to kill him by staring into his soul.

Little did he know, he was doing the same to you.

What the fuck was his problem, you thought. Why was he looking at you as if you did something wrong? Shouldn’t he be panicking at this point? You just moved in next door, and you had just met his Tess. He should be kissing your feet and begging you not to say anything to her right about now. And all you got was a death stare? Fuck you, Joel Grump.

“Joel, this is our new neighbour… I’m sorry, I’ve just realized that I didn’t catch your name,” Tess turned to you, a friendly smile on your face.

“Aria,” you said through gritted teeth.

Her expression quickly morphed into one of excitement. “Aria? Aria Grump?” she turned to Joel so fast her neck creaked. “Is this her?”

What in the world was she so fucking excited about?

Oh, God, he told her? Were they in some sort of a twisted relationship and you’d just been recruited in as some sort of a third-wheel or something? Was she expecting you to be in a throuple with them? Uhm… no thank you!

Joel didn’t react, but Tess turned back to you and asked, almost squealing, “It is you, isn’t it? From Bali? Oh my God, it’s so good to finally meet you!” she practically tackled you into a hug.

Okay, this was just weird now. Whatever their deal was, you didn’t want any part of it, you’d quickly decided. But Tess was so over the moon that you couldn’t get a word in edgewise.

“Oh my God, we’ve been looking for you! You have no idea! Joel here hadn’t been able to stop…”

A quick jab from Joel stopped her. She looked at him, confusion on her face, about to retaliate, but seeing the expression on his face stopped her.

That, and the sound and sight of the truck pulling up your driveway.

Kyle jumped out, looking dashing in his suit, carrying what looked like a brand new battery operated screwdriver kit in his hand. He walked up to the house, gave you the usual ‘hi babe’ accompanied by a quick smooch on your lips and extended his hand to Joel.

“You must be the new neighbours, hi, I’m Kyle,” he said, a very cheery, real estate agent smile on his face.

Joel was taken aback, but quickly snapped out of it, taking Kyle’s hand, “Joel,” he said. “This is my… Tess,” he added, placing his hand on Tess’s waist. Tess shook Kyle’s hand, her face now less cheery than it was before.

There were a few awkward seconds of absolute silence before you told Kyle that Joel was one of the contractors that revamped the house.

“Really? Mac raved about you. Your work is excellent, sir,” Kyle said, “She was thinking of doing a bit of work on the house once the move is finished, maybe we could talk to you about that?” he asked Joel, honestly impressed with his work.

“Sure, just knock on our door and we’ll talk,” Joel said through gritted teeth.

The silence came back. Kyle placed his arm around you, uncomfortable with the sudden tension, not really understanding why. A car stopping in front of his driveway distracted all four of you, an older lady coming out and opening the passenger door. Tess muttered something about seeing you around, running over to collect the little girl who had just emerged from the passenger seat. Joel nodded awkwardly to you and Kyle and followed her, the little girl yelling at him telling ‘Daddy’ she got an A for her drawing.

You watched as he lifted the little girl in his arms and giving her so many smooches she squealed, telling him it tickles Daddy!

Daddy? Daddy?

Fuck. They have a child. You slept with a man in a relationship with a Tess, and they had a child together. You were officially a homewrecker.

You couldn’t watch this.

You pulled a still smiling Kyle into the house, slamming your door behind him.

**********

Kyle was sitting on the legless couch, watching as you paced your cluttered living room.

“Babe, what’s going on? What am I missing?”

“How soon can we resell?”

“What?”

“I can’t live here. I need to resell the house.”

“What the fuck are you talking about? I thought you love the house!”

“Tell me, how soon can I resell? Fuck it. I’ll rent it out. I need you to find me another house. Like, yesterday.”

“Babe, you’re not making sense. What is going on?” he had you by the shoulders now, shaking you a little, worry and confusion etched all over his face.

You were hyperventilating. He quickly sat you down, going to the kitchen to get you a bottle of water. “Babe, breathe, head between your knees. Aria, you’re scaring me. What is going on?”

“That’s Joel.”

“The hot contractor neighbour? Yeah, that’s Joel. He told me his name.”

“No, that’s Joel. That’s Joel!”

“Am I supposed to understand what that means? Babe, are you feeling okay? Do you smell toast?”

“That’s Joel. That’s Joel!”

His face was still scrunched up, utterly confused.

A knock on the door startled you – you were prepared to just run upstairs and never come down, but Maria’s voice gave you a bit of an ease. You ran to open the door, pulling her in so quickly she almost fell headlong into Kyle. You quickly shut the door, blocking it with your body, that panicked look still evident.

“What’s going on?” Maria placed the newly bought screwdriver set she brought on the floor.

“She kept saying ‘that’s Joel’,” Kyle told her.

Her eyes widened – “Joel? Like, Joel, Joel? Bali Joel?”

You nodded frantically.

“Okay, what about him?”

“He lives next door,” Kyle told her.

Maria gasped, suddenly body-blocking the door alongside you, confusing Kyle further.

“I saw her. She came over. She’s so pretty. And so nice. They have a child,” you whispered, tears suddenly filling your eyes.

“Oh, babes, I’m so sorry!” she hugged you, and you sobbed into her shoulder. She held you long and tight, and once you let go, she turned to Kyle and asked, “How soon can she sell the house?”

“What the fuck is going on?” he asked, completely befuddled.

“That’s Joel,” Maria hissed at him.

“So I’ve been told. Why is that important?”

“I slept with him in Bali, okay?” you shout-whispered at him.

He let out an enormous gasp, excitement clearly written all over his face, “You had a one night stand? Finally! Ooh… he’s very good looking, was he good? He looks like he might be very good, oh, we should celebrate. Would it be cruel to ask a man with only one good leg to grab champagne on his way over?” he took his phone out and began checking for possible deliveries for champagne and glasses.

You and Maria stared at him as if he’d gone crazy.

“Were you dropped on your head or something? You just met his girlfriend, and daughter!”

Kyle’s excitement morphed into one of horror. Oh fuck!

“You didn’t know he had someone?”

“Sure I do! And I chose to fuck him still, cause I make it a point to only fuck men in relationships all the time!”

Silence. You buried you face in your hands, sliding down to the floor, sobbing. “What am I gonna do? I really liked him, Kyle, how am I supposed to live here and watch them live their happy lives?”

He kneeled in front of you, rubbing your arm. He was clearly lost for words. Maria was sitting next to you now, your head on her shoulder, rubbing your knee.

“And her, his ‘baby’, or whoever she was to him, she was so nice, she came here because she heard a crash, all ready to help. I liked her immediately. She knew about me. I don’t know what he told her, but I struggle to think he told her everything. If so, what do I do? Do I tell her? They have a child together!”

There was a few minutes of silence as they silently supported you as your sobs began to cease.

“Oh, shit,” Maria suddenly said.

“What?” you and Kyle both asked.

“Does this mean Tommy is here, too?”

Your eyes widened, and in spite of yourself, you wanted to tease her. But the clear panic in her eyes made you stop. Instead, you shrugged. “I don’t know, I didn’t ask. It wasn’t exactly that kind of a reunion,” you said.

“Uhm, and who is this Tommy?” Kyle asked, a sly smile returning to his face.  

**********

Tess came downstairs after putting Sarah down for a nap. Joel was nowhere to be found in the house. She went back upstairs to check his room, nothing. She came back out to the corridor, a very faint smell of cigarettes in the air. She went into Tommy’s room across the corridor, on the side of the house that was facing away from your house, smiling when she saw his window open. She popped her head out onto the roof, seeing Joel sitting outside next to the window, a cigarette in his hand. She climbed out, Joel immediately steadying her with his hand. She lowered the window enough and took the cigarette from him, taking a puff.

“So, that was really her, huh? I can see why you couldn’t get her out of your head. She’s pretty.”

“And has a Kyle. Fuck, I feel so stupid!”

“Don’t, don’t do that to yourself. You didn’t know.”

“How can I live here now, seeing them live their lives right next door? She cheated on him with me!”

“Maybe they just met?”

“And moved in together? After a few weeks?”

Silence. Joel hung his head, stubbing the cigarette out. He genuinely looked as if he was about to cry.

“What was the deal with you placing your hand on my waist? You’d never done that before.”

“I panicked, okay? She was right there, with him, and I just panicked. I don’t know why I did that,” he said, hanging his head low between his knees as if he was about to vomit.

“You really like her, don’t you?”

Joel rubbed his face, “I know you think it’s stupid, I know you and Tommy think I fall too fast, too hard, yeah, that’s right, I heard you two talking about me. But Tess, this woman, she’s something else. I felt like myself again around her. She made me feel… I don’t know…” Joel searched for the words that seemed to escape him.

“Whole.”

He looked at his cousin, who was now looking at him with a sad happiness in her eyes.

“Yeah,” he nodded, rubbing his face, trying desperately not to cry in front of his cousin, who might as well be the sister he never had.

“What do I do, Tess? Kyle was already talking about renovations. Wanting to talk to me about it. Do I tell him?”

Tess got all quiet. She shrugged. “I don’t know, Joel.” She held out her hand to him, asking for a cigarette. He lit another, taking a deep drag before handing it to her. “Look, you know where I stand on cheating. I mean, look at me, look at how I ended up living here with you in the first place,” she said. “But let’s be honest. You don’t know her that well. Tommy said you don’t even know her last name, and she didn’t know yours. The way I see it, she was definitely hiding something from you, but you don’t know what it is. It could be something else. Maybe they were on a break. Maybe they broke up.”

Joel took the cigarette back from her, taking a drag. “What’s your point?”

“I’m just saying, if there was a possibility that she withheld the fact that she had someone from you, there was also a possibility that she withheld another fact that could innocently explain why she slept with you. Maybe talk to her about it before you judge her?”

“Even if there was an innocent explanation,” he said, “She’s with him now. And come on, Tess. Look at him. There is no way I could compete with that guy. You know Mac told me they bought the place cash? Did you forget why Jen left me in the first place?”

“Not all women are like Jen, Joel.”

He took a deep breath. “I know.”

**********

You, Maria, Kyle and Ethan worked together to put the most basic of the stuff you need together that day. Your bed, after much struggling to carry the damn thing and the mattress upstairs, your cupboard, which somehow took the three people with uninjured limbs four whole hours to assemble. Ethan stayed downstairs, and without moving from his spot in the middle of the living room, bad leg out straight, managed to put all the legs to both your couches on, assemble your coffee table, TV cabinet, night stands, side tables and all eight dining chairs with no problem at all. He was working on your bar stools when the three of you came back downstairs, far too sweaty for your liking.

“Feeling better babes?” he asked, cocking his head at you in sympathy, patting the couch for you to sit down. You shook your head, plopping yourself on the plush sofa defeatedly, a sourpuss still on your face.

He faced you, “Look, I know you didn’t ask, but I think you should talk to him. Hear him out.”

“Are you mental? Hear what out? I saw everything with my own eyes! Heard everything in the first place with my own ears! He has someone!”

He pulled a face at you, “I don’t know… I just feel like… you withheld stuff from him, he withheld stuff from you, maybe it’s not what you think. I mean, think about it. What were your evidence that he’s with her? That he called her ‘baby’? So do I and Kyle. So does Maria. That she kissed him on his cheek? Babes, me and Kyle kiss you on the lips. Sure, not like that, but I feel like the kisses we give each other are more intimate than what you said she gave him. I don’t know babes. I feel like you’re reading way into this and freaking out because you like him. He was your first one night stand, and you overthought it. Just, talk to the guy.”

“Okay, I wasn’t gonna tell you this cause you told me not to,” Maria said, sitting next to you, “But back in Bali, Tommy told me Joel was single. He just got divorced. He didn’t say anything about a kid, but he definitely said he was single.”

“Oh, come on Maria. He was a man who was not exactly forthcoming with you either, you didn’t even tell him your last name, and he didn’t tell you his. He could’ve lied, just wanting his brother to get laid. You don’t even know if anything he told you was true!”

Maria’s confident looks faltered. You shook your head, hugging her, apologizing for your words. She hugged you back, telling you it’s okay.

Someone knocked on your door again, and Tess stood in front of your house, a dish in her hands. She was dressed in what looked like a nurse uniform.

“Figured you wouldn’t have time to cook or plan a meal with everything you needed to do,” she said, smiling. “It’s not much, just some baked macaroni,” Kyle immediately rushed to get the dish from her. Maria came to the door, introducing herself. Tess’s face lit up. “Maria? The Maria Tommy was telling me about?” she asked, her smile getting bigger as she did. She waved a hello to Ethan when he introduced himself.

“You’re off to work?” you asked, wanting to make up for the awkwardness you left her with earlier in the evening. Okay, maybe you just wanted to ease the guilt you’re feeling for sleeping with her man, what with her being so nice to you and all.

“Yeah, I’m on nights this week. I work at the Children’s Hospital downtown. Well, I’ll see you around? Just return the dish when you’re done. No need to bother with filling it. Nice to meet you two!” she waved a friendly goodbye and went off.

“Great,” you said, as you closed the door. “She’s a fucking paediatric nurse. She heals children for a living. I slept with the man of a fucking saint to comes to check on me when I might be in danger, cooks for me because she’s worried I might not have anything to eat and heals sick children for a living. Wonderful! Just, excellent!” You sat back down on the couch and rubbed your face, guilt eating you alive. God, why couldn’t she be a bitch?

“She’s a great cook too, this macaroni is excellent!” Kyle said, mouth full, Ethan and Maria nodding, having taken the newly bought Ikea forks you had bought out of its packaging, eating the macaroni from the dish, not even bothering to wash them.

Wonderful. Just, wonderful.

As the two of you were lying in your brand new bed that night, Maria told you that Ethan had a point. Talk to him. Ask him to tell you the truth, tell him what you heard that morning. If your hunch was right, then he’s a jerk. If not, go from there.

“What are you gonna do if you see Tommy?”

She suddenly got quiet. She shrugged.

“You like him, huh?”

“And you like Joel.”

You shrugged.

**********

“Look, brother, I know you said she’s with this Kyle guy,” Tommy said to Joel over breakfast the next day, “But I’m gonna tell you something Maria told me when we were in Bali anyway. She told me that Aria was single. That she had just broken up with her fiancé. So, maybe you misunderstood?”

“They kissed on the lips, Tommy. If they were broken up, they’re clearly back together now. Nothing I can do about it now, okay?”

Tommy looked at his brother, studying his body language, reading him in ways not many could.

“You really like her, don’t you?” he said slowly, realizing Tess was right.

Joel didn’t answer.

“You really like this Maria, don’t you?”

Tommy blushed, making Joel smile, forgetting his own worries.

“You know, you could just ask Aria for her number,” he said.

Tommy couldn’t help himself from smiling, but he shook his head. “I don’t know if she wants that. I’m not gonna go around her like that. If she wanted to keep in touch, she would’ve given me her number in Bali. I’ll ask Aria about her, though, if I see her.”

As the two of them left that morning, Sarah strapped in the back seat, Joel couldn’t help but glance at your place. It was early. Maybe you were still asleep. The truck Kyle came home in wasn’t in your driveway. Huh, he thought. He must have left very, very early. Joel didn’t hear the truck at all and he woke up around six that day, unable to sleep much, thinking that you were right next door sleeping in this Kyle’s arms.

He had trouble sleeping after he got back. The last good night’s sleep he had was in Bali, with you. God, all he wanted was to sleep with you in his arms again. Wake up and have a cup of Kopi Luwak with you. Go soap shopping with you.

But… you were with Kyle now. As much as he wanted to take Tess and Tommy’s advice, to talk to you, ask you everything directly, confirm things with you, if only so that you could live next door to each other in harmony, he didn’t know if he had the balls to do it just yet.

He had seen Jen around town and on social media in the arms of men after men, all hunks, all GQ worthy, all the while still being married to him. And he did feel upset. Sad, mostly. Angry.

But seeing you with Kyle, even in those few minutes, he felt something he had never felt in his life. Something he didn’t think existed in his bones.

Jealousy. He was jealous of the man you had cheated on. Jealous that he got to use the soaps you bought with him in Bali. That he got to sleep with you in his arms. That he got to kiss you whenever he liked. That he got to drink the bags of coffee you bought with him with you. That he got to share a plate of food with you.

He was distracted all day, so much so he nearly pierced right through his hand with a nail gun. Tommy noticed, telling him to go paint something instead before he killed someone from his lovestruck stupor.

“Come for a drink before we go home, brother,” he had said to his brother. “We don’t have work tomorrow, Tess will be home ‘til eight, Sarah will be fine. Maybe a drink or two will calm you.”

So, Joel went. And Tommy was right. He did feel a bit better, the music from the bar and talking to his workers and old friends distracting him from thinking about how you might be having dinner with your fine man as he sipped his beer.

“Joel? Joel Miller?”

He turned, a sweet looking lady smiling at him. She looked familiar.

“Lucy, remember? Tommy’s girlfriend introduced us a while back? I’m Sarah’s teacher.”

Right. The lady he refused to go out with. He was still married at the time.

“I heard about you and your wife. I’m so sorry. Can I buy you a drink?” she asked, a sweet smile on her face.

“Hey, Lucy, right?” Tommy suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

“Hi Tommy,” she said, hugging him. “You look good! How are you guys doing?”

“We’re okay,” Tommy said, eyeing Joel.

“So, how about that drink? You’re single now, you can’t use the ‘I’m married’ excuse anymore,” she said, looking at Joel, hope in her eyes.

She’s right. He’s single now. And she is pretty sweet. And you, the woman he had hoped to have a drink with was not available. Probably doing that cute couple thing where one of you were washing the dishes and the other drying, exchanging sweet kisses in between.

A drink wouldn’t hurt, right?  

---

Part 7