#and i have fluctuating energy lately

[spaceratprodigy]

sorry for how slow and sparse I've been getting around to everyone. I'm doing my best but genuinely rn I desperately need to take care of myself instead of always putting others first.

[reminiscentrainclouds]

I want to post about something fictionkin related tonight because I'm getting specific Vibes but nothing coherent is coming to mind and it would probably end up being too vulnerable and embarrassing anyway. Oh well, goodnight friends.

[devilsskettle]

earlier this week being like hmm i am perhaps manic which is a concern i have every month or so but even suggesting that i may be feeling some approximation of something similar to mania feels like egotistical self dx that other people would immediately explain away but today i mentioned to my therapist how i feel like i need to keep moving and stay busy like how a shark needs to keep swimming etc and she asked me a couple questions that seemed like she was screening for manic symptoms so now i’m like hmm. i wish i hadn’t sidestepped those suspicions because i don’t feel like opening that can of worms with my therapist yet but my own suspicions feel a lot more warranted

[otakubimbo]

Don't Lose Control

Miguel x F!Reader

Plot w/ porn.

My legally required sex pollen fic as a fanfic writer. @safixiovi requested Miguel so here we are.

You and Miguel are on a mission together and nothing is going right. Your tech is all messed up and now it seems Miguel has gotten sick from something. He felt as if he was losing control of himself.

OB Sticky: I wrote this with one hand in my pants so excuse any grammatical errors and definitely not proofread. Also writing smut make me so embarrassed so if you hate it, don't. <3 Reblogs and Likes welcome, requests are still open.

masterlist

Confusion was written all over your face as you looked at the data on your computer in the universe you and Miguel were in currently. You had been working on tech to detect fluctuations in the multi-verse that could detect where anomalies would appear before they did. It had been doing well for the last few weeks, you were able to detect the appearance of an anomaly in three separate universes. So, the confusion now came with the fact that the monitor was detecting two fluctuations in the universe you were currently in, but nothing was showing up. The two of y’all had separated, you went to check out one of the fluctuations and he went to the other. But nothing, nothing was there in the area that read the fluctuations.

You groan out in the abandoned building that you were in, frustrated at the lack of any appearances.

“It was working so well, what the hell?” You grumble to yourself, typing in code strings into your computer trying to see if you can recalibrate the device that it was connected to get a more accurate reading. As your frustrations grew, your watch started going off for an incoming call. You answer it in hopes that at least on his end there was at least a sighting on his end.

“I’m in a damn field and not a single sight of anything but clouds of pollen.” Miguel’s digital image huffs at you. You groan, rubbing your face in irritation.

“Let’s fucking call it then and find somewhere to stay tonight or whatever.” You say abruptly hanging up on him. He would be able to find you, you knew that, and you didn’t really have the energy to hear his complaints about your tech or whatever he had to say.

Meanwhile, with Miguel.

You really hung up on him, in his face when it was your idea to have the both of you out here testing out your tech. Jess was left in charge while the two of you were gone but still, you had insisted and yet there was nothing here and the two of y’all had been at this investigation all day.  He cursed in Spanish as he coughed from all the pollen he was inhaling. It was everywhere, irritating his throat, eyes, and skin. It wasn’t even that he was frustrated your tech was having what seemed to be issues, it was that you insisted on checking things out separately when he figured the whole reason you wanted him here was to do this mission together, with each other. He had grown accustomed to your presence, to your voice, to your smile. It was all while you were figuring out the mechanics of this new tech of yours. To a certain extent, he was always fond of you, he had found you brilliant, driven, and innovative, one of the few spiders he could tolerate. But things started to change when you came up with the idea for this tech, the glittering in your eyes as you made strides on it. Every new aspect you brought to him, you picked his brain late into the night. The time the two of you spent together increased over the months and he realized that he really enjoyed your company. You brought a certain type of peace to him that he never thought he would get before, he actually started going to sleep more at night because he would make you go to bed which you wouldn’t unless he agreed to also. The two of you had got as close as someone could to Miguel.

Miguel cursed again as he felt his body heating up as he went to the directions you sent him for where the two of you would be spending the night he figured. He assumed he just needed to get whatever was in that field off of him and he would be fine after that. When he found you in the crowded lobby of the hotel, you looked irritated but so damn sexy.

Wait.

Where was his mind going right then? He would have to be blind not to realize that you were attractive. Of course, he acknowledged that about you, almost every spider has mentioned it since the day you joined. But the way you looked right now, drive a man to sin. Your curls were down for once, edges slightly sweated out, your skin held a red tone which made your brown skin glow slightly. It was obvious that you were frustrated with the way your nose crinkled making your nose hoop push up slightly on your face. The way your arms were crossed against your chest pushed your breasts up in a way that had them almost spilling out the top of your tank top, the sight going straight to his dick. His breathing started getting heavy as he gazed at you and then finally caught your eye, having you quickly walk towards him realizing how much of a sway to your hips there is when you walk had him feeling parched.  

“O’Hara, we have a problem” You start as you let out an exasperated breath looking up at him. This is when you notice his appearance, he is red, EXTREMELY RED, looking as if he just took on several baddies right before getting there. 

“Is everything okay?” concern is written all over your face as you gaze up at him, lips slightly parted and all Miguel could think about is what they would look like wrapped around his-----. His thoughts were cut off by you calling his name.

“Yeah, I’m fine, that stupid pollen is just all over me. Irritating” He brushes your concerns off saying a few curses in Spanish.

“Okay, well, they only had one room available because apparently there’s some sort of festival going on and I got the last room that was available at like any hotel.” You say as you shift your bag on your shoulder, which takes Miguel's focus back to your chest. The silver chain around your neck sits right above your cleavage. All he could think about was how high would it bounce if you were to ride his---

Again his thoughts were cut off by your voice.

“Alright, let's just get you to the room so you can get whatever is on you off and I can do some work.” You say as you grab his arm, dragging him to the elevators so you can get to your shared room. You didn’t have any clue what was wrong with Miguel, he never usually seemed so zoned out but you assumed whatever the field he was in was affecting him and his focus. His powers were different than other spiders, so you could figure that it was probably a chemical from their plants that was messing with him. You would have to send it off for some tests to see what it could be.

Once in the room, you tell Miguel to go ahead and use the shower to get himself together after you grab a sample of what was on him to send to Lyla.

“Hey Ly, can you analyze this? It got on Mig and he’s been dazed and out of it ever since we got to the hotel.” You say as you speak to the AI. She gives you a knowing look when you mention a hotel and she hears the sound of a shower in the background. “Don’t start, there’s literally no other rooms anywhere and I don’t want to leave tonight just in case the readings were actually accurate, and two anomalies show up. It wouldn’t be logical to leave just set.”

Lyla knew the way you felt for Miguel, she was there while yall were spending all of that time together. The looks that you took at him when you thought he wasn’t looking, the way you would sigh contently while working in the lab with him, and the way you spoke to him when it was just the two of you. Anyone with eyes could see how attractive that man was but it wasn’t just that which is what made you fall for him. Regardless of the way he could come off, he was kind and caring. He may not show it in the ways that other people did but he had such a big heart and was truly thoughtful of other people. The man would take everything on his shoulders just to make things easier for everyone. You admired him, you adored him, and he made you feel safe and understood and cared for. You really liked him, it didn’t help that he was a walking Adonis. His looks were just the cherry on top for you. Everyone seemed to know your affinity for him, except him. It didn’t help that you were always making excuses for his behavior, Jess would make jokes at your expense all the time about it.

“But the two of you sharing a room it seems?” Lyla giggles coming to sit on your shoulder.

“Cause there wasn’t anything else available” You whisper hiss at her, and she just giggles again “Please just analyze the sample I sent”

“Anything for Miguels other half.” She jokes as she fades away, and you just groan trying to focus back on your readings and tech.

Miguel did not want you that way. You knew that, he would never want you that way. He was a serious man with a hard past that never allowed for the option of romance. The multiverse and stopping anomalies were more than enough to occupy Miguel's mind and heart. You sigh, knowing that your affection will never be returned by him busying yourself with your work while he finishes his shower.

While in the shower, Miguel had already cum two times, and nothing was helping. His mind only filled with you and how you would feel under him, on top of him, how your lips would feel, the noises you would possibly make. It didn’t help that he knew you were just in the next room, he could almost feel you. He needed you badly and he didn’t know why it was so badly. For once, it was as if he lost control of himself. The way he needed to feel you, to hear you, to taste you, to be inside you. Mierda. He came again with just the thought of you in the other room, just the thought of you. It wasn’t enough but it would have to be, he knew you would worry if he took too long in there.

As he exits the bathroom, you notice you hunched over your laptop on the bed, fidgeting with your tech with such a concentration on what you were doing. The image made his dick throb. Fuck. His stuttering as he entered the room, caught your attention from your work. You only glance at him as you continue tinkering.

“Are you feeling any better?” You ask, still typing away.

“Yeah” He lies as he attempts to keep his voice from sounding strained.

“Good. I still sent some samples to Lyla to analyze.” You start before pausing for a second, “Since we don’t know what’s going on I think we should try to both sleep with some comfort tonight just in case we get an alert or something. We have been at this all day, so we need some rest.”

It took Miguel a second for him to realize what you meant by what you said. You meant that the two of you would have to share the bed. Together. Sleep next to each other. Together. Together, in the same bed. Together. He could barely contain himself in the shower, how in the hell was he supposed to contain himself sleeping next to you?

“Can you take a look at this while I take a shower? I can’t find anything that is wrong but I really don’t understand what’s going on.” You say only slightly looking up at him and then back down as you finish typing what you were working on shifting to get up while still trying to work.  

“Yeah sure” He attempts not to look at you as you put your stuff down, trying to finish your coding, distracting yourself from your previous statements, attempting not to think about you and Miguel sharing a bed. You don’t even look at him as you make your way into the bathroom.

The only thing Miguel could think about was you undressing in the bathroom, what you would look like as you caressed your body with a soapy washcloth. Mierda. How was he supposed to sleep next to you tonight?? He felt like he was losing control. You seemed to not be affected by the thought of sharing a bed with him, something about that was making him feel more feral. The image of you sleeping peacefully as he looms over you, starting with pressing his lips to your unexpected jawline, making his way down your body with his mouth. He could imagine your breath hitching as you started to wake up at his actions. Would you whimper as he made his way to your clothed cunt? Would you grip his hair as he teases you by licking you through your panties? Would you beg for him?

Mierda.

He was painfully hard again. What the fuck was he going to do? What the fuck was going on? He needed to calm himself down, he had no clue why he was acting like this. He was mumbling curses in Spanish, not even realizing that you had gotten out of the shower.

“Mig” You call out to him softly; he looks like he is in distress. His head snapped to your voice. Mierda, that damn nickname wasn’t helping him in this situation and neither did the way you looked. It wasn’t like you were wearing anything special or particularly sexy, it was a plain oversized shirt and he could see the peak of shorts underneath. That cute expression of concern that you wore, your gaze gentle on him. You called his name again.

“Are you okay Miguel? Do you think we should go back to headquarters? We can always just send some other spiders out to keep on alert.” You suggest moving towards him. At your movements, it was as if he snapped out of whatever spell was on him.

“No, no it’s fine.” He rebuttals, “The tech is too new to trust with anyone else. I’ll be fine. Let’s just go to bed.”

You nod at him, still worried about him but going to bed was probably the best option for him right now. The two of you get into bed, laying down on opposite sides, and backs towards each other.

Miquel can’t sleep. Every other minute, he's trying to gently ( as gentle as someone his size can be) toss and turn in his discomfort. There was no way he was getting any sleep tonight, especially with the way he could feel your warmth even from the other end of the bed. Unfortunately, his excessive tossing didn’t allow you to sleep either. You were worried about him but you know his stubbornness wouldn’t free him enough to tell you the issue. But at this rate, neither one of you would be able to sleep tonight at this so you conceited and turned over with a sigh to face him. He was lying on his back not realizing that you had woken up, it looked as if he was sweating. Did he have a fever? Was he really sick? You lean up on your elbow, extending your hand out to touch his forehead.

“Miguel you don’t look well.” You speak as your hand reaches out towards him, right before your hand lands he grabs your wrist and looks at you with wild eyes.

“Don’t” He says through gritted teeth.

“Mig, please, what is wrong?” You ask so innocently, while all his thoughts about you aren’t even close to innocent. With you so close now, with that look in your eye, Miguel was losing all of his sanity. Fuck it. Swiftly, with your wrist still in his hand he straddles himself on top of you. Your eyes immediately go wide as you feel your body move, looking up at him, you don’t fight him though.

“I----” He starts, panting above you.

“What Miguel?” You asked breathily, fuck you looked so beautiful beneath him. Your eyes find him and they're red. He looks almost feral.

“ I don’t know how much longer I can control myself” His voice is strained as his grip on your wrist gets a little harder. The way he was looking at you, wasn’t something you expected. The look of unbridled lust in his eyes, you could feel it coming off his body.

Your voice barely above a whisper calls out his name.

“Stop, please. You don’t understand how badly I need to ruin you.” He groans as his head falls to the side of your head, his face burying into your neck breathing in deeply with a growl. Your breath hitches in your throat, unable to think clearly of what is going on in this moment. The stoic and controlled man that you had grown to know just told you he wanted to ruin you and the biggest problem was that you were okay with it. There was a newfound ache between your legs while he was speaking to you and now the ache was growing with the way he was breathing into your neck. Fuck it. You roll your hips into his, feeling his restrained bulge twitch with the impact.

“Then ruin me, Miguel.”

His head shoots up at your words, it was taking all of his self-control at that moment to not rip the clothes you were wearing off. He had to be sure he understood you correctly, he had to be sure you knew how serious he was about ruining you, destroying you, making you his own.

“You don’t know what you’re saying, hermosa.” He strains out, unconsciously pushing his hips into you, you let out a small moan at the sensation and Miguel thought he almost came just from that sound alone.

“I do, I want you. I want you to ruin me, Miguel.” You say, a lustful look in your eyes as he’s still panting above you. He was trying to hold on to his last ounce of self-restraint until you said one word. “Please”

That was all it took before he sank his fangs into your neck. You gasped at the sudden pain until you felt him licking the wound he just created making you moan his name at the sensation. His hands are all over your body as he is kissing and sucking on your neck, moving your legs so that he is in between them to grind himself into you.

“Fuck Miguel” You moan as your hips meet with his, “Kiss me”

He immediately abides by your request, mouth meeting yours in an aggressive lustful kiss. Miguel forces his tongue into your mouth as he presses his body into yours. His claws digging into your plush thighs which had you moaning into his mouth as he explored yours. The both of you breathing heavily as he moves again from your mouth to your jaw to the other side of your neck marking you the same as he did on the other side. After he is pleased with his marks he leans up, gazing down at your chest heaving, your eyes half-lidded as you look up at him. Fuck, he doesn’t even bother lifting your shirt off you as he rips it in the front to expose you to him. The view was better than he imagined, of course, he had seen you in your spidey suit which didn’t leave much to the imagination but this view, actually seeing you bare under him was just too much. He came then and there, not even caring because the next time he came he hoped it would be inside of you, your eyes widened at the guttural moans he made as he came. Without even a moment of shame or embarrassment, his mouth latches onto one of your breaths as he palms the other.

“Wait wait, Miguel did you come?” You attempt to get out during his onslaught on your tits.

“Yes, and I’m going to come again, inside you.” He says as he makes his way down your body to your clothed cunt. He had no shame in his words, as he quickly made shreds of your shorts and underwear, he could live out his fantasies of teasing you at another time. He needed to taste you right now. Before you could even respond to his words, or to the fact that he has ripped all your clothes off Miguel's tongue is lapping at your folds. You can’t help but squirm underneath him, as he’s eating you like a man starved. Fuck was he obsessed with the way you tasted; he knew he was going to have to have this all the time now.  He made out with your clit as your hands dug into his scalp gripping his hair. It was all so overwhelming; you couldn’t even grind yourself against his face as his strong hands held your hips down. You were reaching your peak faster than ever before, you were moaning his name like a chant as you got closer and closer to getting over the edge.

The sound of his name being moaned off your lips was driving him even crazier, his hips pushing into the bed as he starts sucking directly on your clit. He moves one of the hands that was holding your hips down to shove two of his thick long fingers into your clenching waiting hole. It was as if he already knew your body because his fingers automatically found the spot that made your vision blurred. Your body responded on its own as you came, and came hard, squirting all over his face. The squirting caught him off guard, as he pulled his face out of your cunt with a surprised expression.  Oh fuck, he needed to see you do that again, and by the way your walls squeezed his fingers as you did, he knew he needed to see you do it again but on his dick. He freezes himself from the restraint of his own clothing as he comes back to hover over you. You looked so damn beautiful, your lips were puffy from his kiss and he could see the bite marks that he left on you, pupils blown and breath coming back down from your orgasm.  He didn’t give you much time to recover as he grabbed your legs throwing them over his shoulder and pounding into you.

You scream his name as he furiously slams his hips into yours. His hands are under your ass, grip tight as he lifts you slightly to go deeper into you, too deep. The tip of his dick ramming into your cervix with every thrust. You had never been one that could just come from penetration, but the way Miguel was pounding into right now seemed was going to change that. He can feel the way your clamp down on his as the tightness returns back to your stomach. Fuck you were going to come again, you were so sensitive, so sensitive for him. Your nails digging cresent shaped marks into his arms as you come again this time on his dick.

“I’m going to come inside you” He tells you through his thrusts and the aggressive manner in which he said it made you clamp down on him even harder. He spills into you, so much that it starts leaking out as he continues to pound into you. You had assumed once he came again he would stop but he doesn’t, you can still feel how hard he is inside of you as he pumps his cum deeper into you. As the final bursts of his come stop, he pulls out swiftly getting off the bed, grabbing your ankles to drag you to the edge. Flipping your body over and pulling up you on your knees, he shoves your face into the bed as he inserts himself into you again. His pace doesn’t slow down as he ruts into you. It felt like he was even deeper than before. One of his hands moves to your shoulder to pull you back as he slams into you, his other hand moves to your clit to rub hard circles on it stimulating you further.

“Fuck Mig--- im--- im cuming” You scream as you cum again hard, doing exactly what he wanted and squirting. He could feel it all over his hand, making him cum again inside of you. You look back at him as you finish feeling him cum in you, thinking that he must be done. The sight you see behind you makes you know that you weren’t even close to finished. Miguel had his hand that was covered in your squirt up to his face inhaling deeply before he stuck his tongue out licking his fingers. He gets even harder inside you; it doesn’t look like there would be any sleep tonight, he really was going to ruin you.

The next morning you wake up, bruised and sore. Your head was on Miguel's chest and he was snoring peacefully under you. With a groan, you get up as you feel a notification on your gizmo, you had almost completely forgotten that you had requested Lyla to analyze the substance. As you look at the results you feel incredibly embarrassed, mortified. The substance that was on Miguel was some sort of aphrodisiac, so that’s why he was acting that way towards you. As you were getting further into your head about last night events Miguel woke up.

“Your thinking woke me up.” He grumbles as he sits up looking over your shoulder to see what you were looking at.  He reads the results of the substance that was on him and now he understands what you were possibly thinking. You thought he only wanted you because of the aphrodisiac, but with the way he marked you he would have thought you would know that he wanted YOU and you ALONE.

“Hey” He says as he touches your shoulder, you jump back from his touch.

“Hey, yeah so it’s fine you know. We can just forget about everything last night, I know you couldn’t control yourself. Its fine” You ramble on trying to not embarrass yourself further, he gentle grabs your chin as you speak a stark contrast from his behavior last night and some of this morning.  He doesn’t say anything but look into your eyes giving you a soft kiss on the lips.

“It wasn’t just that, I only wanted it to be with you. I only thought about you. Alright?” He says in the most gentle way you have ever seen him speak. A small smile forms on your lips from the reassurance.

“Alright.” You say and he gives you another kiss, a little more aggressive this time. How was this man not tired anymore?! You saw the half-life on the substance he should be done. “Miguel, the effects should have worn off by now.”

“They have,” He says against your mouth. “This is YOUR effect” moving your hand to allow you to feel for yourself how you affect him. Before things could go any further, you get a notification from your new tech and your gizmo that there were two anomalies in this dimension, around the areas that you detected yesterday.

“See, I knew it!” You exclaim as you activate your suit almost forgetting what you were just doing with Miguel. His dick twitches under your hard and you remember what’s going on. “Oh right, uhm this first, and then we can go back to headquarters and I can take care of that for you,” You say with a sultry smile which makes his dick twitch again.

You and Miguel catch both of the anomalies in record time, him being extra careful to avoid the pollen this time. The two of you continue where you left off after you get back to headquarters, immediately both taking your leave which received knowing glances from both Lyla and Jess.

[sirenmoontarot]

How do you need to nurture yourself? ☁️🕊️

𝑀𝓎 𝓈𝒽𝑜𝓅 ~ 𝒫𝓈𝓎𝒸𝒽𝒾𝒸 𝑅𝑒𝒶𝒹𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈 ~ 𝐻𝑒𝒶𝓁𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈

~~~~~ 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 ~~~~~

Welcome to the cottage! I am Alla <3 Sit with me in the garden and let’s have some mystic tea as we see what the Oracle has to tell you. Take what resonates and leave the rest!

Pile 1

Okay guys so for this first group i feel that what you actually need to do is to shine on and embrace yourself as how you are and instead of giving into the chaos of uncertainties and your emotions, allowing yourself to gently flow through those emotions in order for you to be fully yourself. We have the moon theme twice, you would benefit from connecting with it, and using the full moon to manifest. I strongly feel you need to expand your energies, you are constrainign yourself a lot of the time, you dont know how to navigate in your own emotions, this pile is encouraged to believe in your power to create, vision, manifest, create the lifeyou want. The power of the yet-not-created is yours. However in your journey this is continuousl affected by pains and shadows of the past, making you sttray away from you power and purpose. I sense many people of this pile have number 11 prominent in their numerology or birthday. Indicating you are called to lead in this lifetime and you also have a strong purpose here that could be related to spirituality, but it often is hard to manage or not fall in the negativity that makes you sabotage everything. The moon reminds you you are in constant fluctuation and you should embrace the ‘’becoming’’ and the feminine principles of flowing, and embracing your emotions. Times of rest and restoration are needed for you to recharge and connect deeper. A new depth of your spiritual practice is calling you. You should aim for ease and stillness, this will help your mind and life overall. The archeptype you have to heal within yourself is ‘’the judge’’ are you using this to be critical ofyourselg, punishimg, unforgiving, building walls around you? This is a powerful energy and it is a gift of discernment, to do the right actions, power, advocacy and compassion but you have to be careful if you are channeling it wrong towards yourself and therefore others…

Pile 2

First of all I am hearing guys you should believe more that you are on ther right paht, because you are. Start walking more confidently in your life, be in presence, strongly with the conviction that you are where you need to be. You need to work on your shame feelings, everything that doesnt let you live as you would wish. You need to meditate more to calm down those thoughts and dissolve those traumas. To find an inner temple inside. Stop hesitating so much, it all comes from childhood wounds. Many people of this group will resonate with the childhood wound of humiliation. You need to feel mothered, some of you in this group need this very strongly, due to mother wound. Connecting to the earth can help you on this, and after that, you will also learn to mother yourself. You also struggle to fully connect to yourself and find yourself a reliable, sacred space. This is normal it also comes with growth, but you are led to do this now, find or create a sacred space within yourself. The feelings of safety are necessary to you as well. sometimes trauma gets embedded in our system, but we are not always in danger. Practicing the mantra ‘’ i am in peace ‘’ can help you a lot. You need to find security in yourself! Also remember to give yourself the space to evolve, change, with ease, grace, and nurturing. Let yourself shed as many skins as you need. Life might have been extra tough for you lately, as if Saturn was lashing you, lol but you are called to breathe and find activities, places that allow you to breathe, expand, release the tention, stress and burden, and this way see the colours of life again. I am seeing lots of green so again, for this group connecting to nature specially trees and rivers will be very nourishing for you.

Pile 3

Okay you guys for this group the energies are very clear, i am getting PRAYING, connecting with the divine; you should hand over your worries, problems and burdens to the Divine. Put your hands on to work, on what you can control and let God do the rest. Hand it over, The thing is, the Divinity wants you to, not put your energies, focus, power in the wrong things. Some things have to end from your life, for actually better things that would be surprising to you will come. Don’t attach yourslef, mainly is out of fear or unawareness of the wonders of the universe. Do not force, let thing run its course, and count on the Divine to help you out, ask God and your angels for an easy path, for the solution, for them to guide you in ease and out of stress. The Divine wants you to start living your soul’s path, and not to focus elsewhere, things that may seem shiny are actually a void, there are other paths that are more aligned to our soul’s nature, abilities and evolution. You are called to go to a temple, you could also create one, or make your house/room a little temple. You are also called to nurture your human vessel, both physical and spiritually and actually embrace this term of Vessel to know more about what it means and might represents for you.

~~~~~ 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 ~~~~~

Thank you for reading! Remember, take what resonates, leave the rest. Lots of blessings ☁️🪽🌙🕊️

~~~~~ 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 𓇬 ~~~~~

[lilaccmilk]

Would You Still Love Me If I Was A Werewolf?

Pairing: Werewolf Boyfriend x Human!Reader Warnings: idk werewolf? shitty description of shifting into a werewolf. A/N: Now I know I said I'll make an OC, but I'm too indecisive to pick a name. Please send me name ideas for my OC.

You heard the door open and checked the time '11 pm'. You sigh feeling helpless. Your boyfriend has started coming home late, or sometimes staying cooped up in his room refusing to come out. This has been going on for a month, since the camping trip you went to with him and your friends.

Truth be told, at first when he started coming late you felt as if he was doing something behind your back. But his behaviour and mood keeps fluctuating. Sure he becomes aggressive. Very aggressive. But not towards you, god no, he could never be aggressive towards you. Either he's very clingy and needy, or just pulls away from you.

Not only that but he's gotten warmer. His voice has turned more.....deep. And he has a bit of a growl in his voice. He's gotten a bit taller, muscular. His teeth feel like they're sharper. In all honesty, he has started to feel like one of the creatures in a monster fucking blog. But you try to tell yourself that you must be imagining things. Sure you're delusional, but not that delusional.

Today was one of those days where he was feeling clingy towards you. You were lying on the couch, with your boyfriend partially on top of you, his head resting on your chest. When suddenly he looked up at you.

"Hey....love?" he started to speak. "Hmm?"

"I have a question....Would you still love me if i was a w-"

"Worm?" you cut him off with amusement in your eyes.

"Huh? a worm?" He blinked.

"Yeah, weren't you going to ask me if I'd still love you if you were a worm."

"No. What kind of stupid question is that? Wait nevermind. Let me rephrase....what do you think about werewolves?"

You stared at him, your thoughts going haywire ⎯ 'Why did he ask me that? Did he find out about my monster fucking blog? Did he go through my tumblr? Wait is that why he's getting distant.' ⎯ amidst the chaos in your head you managed to croak out "I uh...like to believe they're real. If it's about that werewolf blog I run, it's just fiction...right? Like you know, werewolves don't exist. It's like writing for a fictional character. If it bothers you I'll stop. I should have-" you get cut off by him kissing you.

"I um....well it might sound crazy. So let me show you instead of telling you." He stands up and then closes his eyes. You look at him in anticipation and feel the energy shift in the room, you notice him opening his eyes that have darkened. His bones start to break and stick out in directions they're not meant to stick out. His height grows and he starts snarling. After what feels like an eternity, you're face to face werewolf that is around 7 feet. Well not exactly face to face since he towers over you.

He then shifts back and now you're looking at your very human boyfriend again. You're too awestruck to do or say anything. And then, you squeal. In delight. This catches your boyfriend off-guard and he just tilts his head in confusion. You hug him, full force.

"Does this mean you're fine with me being a werewolf?" he asks tentatively.

"I love you for who you are, not for your appearance. And your werewolf side is still you. I'll always love you." you say with a grin.

"I'm glad I have you. And what was that about writing for werewolves? I'd love to hear about your fantasies love." he says with a teasing grin, but you know he was serious about knowing your fantasies. You're in for a long night.

[poppadom0912]

Is it too late?

Warnings: Mentions of periods, hospitals, surgery, pain and illness

Summary: When your older brother is a fancy surgeon, being sick is the last thing you want.  

Requested by @1chicago5021

A/N: I'm still alive people. I had a sudden burst of inspiration and thought I'd finally get all these requests done before the next round of exams. I am in a lesson right now so I can’t do the usual aesthetic collage I always do. This was sent quite a while ago but I actually had so much fun writing this so thank you! I hope this lives up to your standards <3

*****

Two weeks ago now, your body randomly started not working the way you wanted it to, but you put all the blame on your period whose cramps hadn't been very forthcoming.

The painkillers were a coming in at a constant stream, hot water bottles never having the chance to go room temperature.

Your never-ending migraines and 24/7 cramps were a constant, so you expected to feel relief once you were back to normal. But that never came because this week started and somehow, you felt even worse.

When you woke up this morning to your throat feeling weird, you knew something was wrong when you drank water and the feeling didn’t go away.  

Despite that, you went to school anyways, bidding your brother goodbye when he dropped you off, completely unaware of your wellbeing. But you couldn’t blame the guy, he was stressed enough over work as it is, you didn’t need to add to his already overflowing workload.  

You only felt worse as the day progressed. It was only spring, nearing summer, but your body temperature wouldn’t stop fluctuating. One minute you were shivering and asking to borrow your friend's hoodie but the next you were sweating like you had just finished a marathon and was trying to get rid of as many layers as possible.  

The cramps were immense. The worst you ever had and to consider you just got off your period, you weren’t a stranger to post period cramps, but this was on another level. You hadn’t been in this much pain ever even while on your reds. None of the pain killers your friends kindly provided for you alleviated the pain. Death would feel ever so sweet right about now.  

You knew you were seriously sick when you were on the verge of collapsing at lunch. Your friends all shouted in alarm when you faltered on your feet in the cafeteria. You ignored their efforts and attempts to get you to the nurse's office. There wasn’t long left of the school day, there wasn’t any point in leaving with barely two hours left.  

As soon as you got home, you fell face first into bed. As soon as your head hit the pillow and you pulled the covers over your body with however much strength remained in your arms that got heavier as the day went on.  

You were in a deep sleep, so deep in fact that your dreams were non-existent. You weren’t too sure what time it was, but you felt someone shaking you, going from gentle to a hand tightly holding your shoulder, a muffled voice inaudible as you came in and out of your slumber.  

Their gestures were painful, but you didn’t have it in you to tell the intruder as you struggled to even muster a groan. Your eyes fluttered, face digging even deeper into the pillow as if to suffocate yourself. That was all the indication the person needed to shake you harder, adamant to wake you up.  

With a blocked nose, breathing out through your mouth proved itself to be a much more difficult task than it should’ve been. And stuffing your face into your pillow might not have been the best idea taking that into consideration.

Their voice sounded way too far away, as though they weren’t in the room with you. One second they were roughly holding you, the next, all pressure ceased but the pain didn’t.

Before you could even register what they were doing now, your eyes heavy with sleep dropped once more as you were enveloped into darkness again.

*****

Over the past two weeks, Connor had noticed your depleting energy but when the mood swings came along with your hot water bottles, he didn’t think any much more of the matter.

But then you showed no signs of improvements and at first, he could hardly notice. You hid it quite well at first but as the week progressed, it was apparent to him you were getting sick, and you were too stubborn to admit that to your surgeon brother.

Nonetheless, things didn’t look too bad that staying home was necessary. You were managing quite well, going to school the entire week without complaints, so he found no reason to intervene into something he knew would end up in an argument that would result in you holding a grudge and not talking to him for a few days.

He dropped you off and drove to work expecting nothing. You smiled at him when you left the car, and nothing seemed physically wrong when you picked up the pace to meet your friends.

His twelve-hour shift seemed to never end. When he had a moment to himself, he messaged you as he waited for his coffee, staring at his message that sat alone with no replies for hours. School has finished, you were sure to be home now, so why weren’t you answering?

He didn’t think much of it till he was meant to go home at twelve. He was all ready standing at his locker but then Maggie called his name and he saw several ambulances piling up outside.

As amazing as he was, his attention couldn’t be in two places at once and unfortunately for you, car crashes had more significance in this situation. But as soon as this was all over, you’d be his number one priority once more.

It was all over six hours later when he came out of the second surgery he had to take lead in.

Stepping out of the surgery theatre, he thanked all his co-workers and was dashing away to collect his things, not wanting to be here any longer. Having time to finally check his phone again, his concern skyrocketed when you still hadn’t replied to his messages.

Waving off the few staff remaining in the emergency department, Connor wasted no time in driving off. His adrenaline had yet to die down from the rush of a packed-out emergency room and doing several successful surgeries. Adding to this was his building concern for you. Maybe you were just sleeping, and your phone was on charge. Maybe it was on silent, and you didn’t hear anything. Maybe it was stolen, and you couldn’t contact him-

Connor sighed as he parked the car. Wasting no time, his body still thrumming from the surgery high, he walked into the building and took the stairs instead, taking large strides as he skipped every two.

The house was drop dead silent when he opened the door which you hadn’t locked from the inside like you usually would. That and the completely pitch-black apartment was the first things that put him on edge.

He locked the door behind him, walking in further and inspecting the living room and kitchen that didn’t look lived in. Everything was in its same place as he left it in this morning. Closing the blinds in the living room, he walked towards your bedroom, your door slightly ajar which had never been the case since you started living with him. You always shouted at him whenever he left the door even a slither open, you always needed complete darkness to sleep. The tiniest bit of light always hindering your sleeping ability.

Pushing the door open, Connor poked his head inside first to survey the room. He finally let himself relax at the sight of you lying in bed, your figure completely drowning in your duvet. The weird lump in your sheets being the only reason he could identify you.

He felt himself relax, his body physically deflating now that he had eyes on you, knowing for sure that nothing was wrong.

For some reason, your curtains were still open which they never were since you were young, always complaining, once again, that you needed complete darkness to be able to sleep. Closing your curtains, he found your phone on your bedside desk, and it was littered with notifications from not only him but all of your friends too. All of them were asking in variations if you were okay, if you felt better, did you get home safe and how you were feeling.

They were all sent at three in the afternoon. It was now two in the morning.

Concerned at the topic of the messages, Connor came over to the side of the bed you were laying on and placed his hand on your forehead, his eyes widening immediately. He felt himself warming up just from how hot you were.

Sitting down on the space by your knees, Connor shook you gently, trying to rouse you from your apparent very deep sleep but the only movement you made was from what he was doing.

“Y/N? Hey, wake up. Can you get up for me really quick?”

The adrenaline that was just dying down was picking up again along with his heart rate, why weren’t you waking up?

He shook you once again but this time, he was more rough, his worry meaning he gripped your shoulder tightly and shook you with a force that he’d never use on you before as his baby sister.

This time he tried calling you name while he tried getting you up. Lifting the duvet off your body, not only were you shivering but you were sweating a very unusual amount.

Swallowing harshly, Connor tried one more time, calling your name and roughly shaking you. “Come one, I need to you wake up Y/N.”

“Y/N. Y/N get up.”

But you just wouldn’t budge.

Deciding that enough was enough, he scooped you into his arms and it must’ve been the sudden movement that caused you to let out a small whimper in what was clearly pain. It was small but it was the most he’d gotten from you since he got home and that was better than nothing.

Foregoing his jacket, Connor made sure to slip your cardigan over your torso, so you weren’t going to die from the cold outside. He quickly slipped into his own shoes and left the building not a moment later.

*****

No one had been expecting Connor to be back at work so soon, not even him. It was a few minutes to three and the ED was relatively calm taking into account the big accident not too long ago, but Connor was grateful.

Getting out the car, Connor looked into the ED and called for the first person he saw.

“April! Get me a gurney!”

Said nurse was caught completely off guard, jumping from where she stood at the nurse's desk with Will not too standing behind her. He too clearly was confused but Connor had no time to dwell on them.

Not checking if she was listening, Connor rounded the car and picked you back into his arms, your head resting on his bicep and your legs on the inside of his elbow. Slamming the door shut, Connor strode into the emergency department and luckily for him, April and Will were more than ready to help.

“All the gurneys are used up from before, but we’ve got a free bed.” April said, leading the surgeon into an empty treatment room where Will was lowering the bedside rails.

“Talk to me Connor.” Will said, understanding there was no time for formalities when he saw it was you Connor was carrying.

“No clue what happened but she’s as hot as anything, she’s shivering and sweating at the same time and will not wake up for anything.” Connor started, gently laying you down and standing back to let Will and April do their jobs. He was itching to help but physically had to move further away from you so that he wouldn’t do anything stupid.

“Pretty sure she’s been sick and in pain for a while now, but she never said anything.” He continued, looking at all the numbers on the machines that were popping up as they were connected to your body. “When I asked last week, she just kept saying it was her period cramps.”

As April hooked you up onto an IV drip, Will started palpating your body in search for any particular place of pain. And when he came to a particular area in your lower abdomen and you cried out, the three of them looked at each other knowingly.

“Kieran should still be on shift.” Connor said, remembering the surgeon he left behind that was in charge and available.

Will nodded in confirmation, “Let’s move.”

*****

Waking up felt different to all the times before. Your levels of disorientation and haziness and confusion were on another level.

As soon as you opened your eyes, the first thing you noticed was the lack of pain. You couldn’t feel not even a pinch in your stomach, maybe it was weird to say but it felt liberating to not be in debilitating pain.

“Oh, thank goodness your awake.” Connor looked dead on his feet in the doorway of the room but the immense relief painting his face was like no other.

You made him feel and look like that- Shit, what happened, what did you do?

Before you could say anything, Connor beat you to it. “How are you feeling? In any pain?”

As he questioned you, a poured you a cup of water, holding it so all you had to do was drink and not need to exert energy that he knew from experience, you didn’t have.

Once again, before you could ask, he answered for you. “It was appendicitis. Your period cramps were in fact your appendix and last night it burst.”

“But it’s all good. We got you into surgery and your appendix is gone as should your pain.”

“Wow.” You said shakily, your voice so quiet from the lack of use.

“Please don’t do that next time.” Connor said, sitting on the empty seat by the bed, taking your hand into his. “Please tell me when you're in pain and when you feel sick. You matter to me; all your small or big problems are mine too. I don’t care how trivial they are.”

Silence followed as he set the glass aside. “You scared the shit out of me kiddo.”

And to say you felt guilty was an understatement.

“Claire’s pissed.” You both winced at the thought of your sister finding out. “She’s going to visit when she’s finished with work. I told her your healthy and out of surgery but she’s still pissed.”

“M’Sorry.” You apologised, voice hoarse and lips chapped. “I didn’t want-“

“Y/N.” Connors face made it look like he was in pain from your admission he cut off. “You’re never a bother to me okay? Me being a doctor is a good thing, use it to your advantage.”

You nodded, confirming to change next time if there was another time. Fingers crossed there isn’t.

“How hard was it to not do the surgery?” You smiled, squeezing his hand and poking his bicep. He was still in his scrubs from his shift last night.

Connor rolled his eyes and groaned. Such a sight made you laugh.

[whatudowhennooneseesyou]

𝐊𝐢𝐦 𝐇𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐣𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝟏𝟖+ 𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐥 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐀𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐬 (𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 & 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐅𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝)

Word Count:

Disclaimer: Think about it. Write about it. Have hard thoughts. Do not take it seriously. None of this confirmation is confirmed and all theoretical. If you want to read more, check out my 'Hongjoong as your late bloomer bf' post.

Methodology: Traditional Astrology & Whole Sign

Hongjoong has dyed his hair back black and it's my favourite hair colour on him (we see it so rarely) and b/c he's my Ateez bias- I had to revamp his natal chart.

Overview:

Scorpio Sun (11th House)

Gemini Moon (6th House)

Capricorn Rising (Saturn-Ruled)

Sagittarius Mercury (12th House)

Scorpio Venus (11th House)

Virgo Mars (9th House)

Fuckboi Rating:

2/10

Out of all the members of Ateez, I'm inclined to believe that Hongjoong would least likely be a fuckboi because his Scorpio stellium and Moon in the 6th House indicates he's not a shallow man and craves soul-bonding, all-too consuming connection in relationships.

Take this next point very casually BUT as someone who has similar placements to him AND the overall energy I get from Hongjoong, I wouldn't be surprised if he identifies with being demi-sexual and he can't find pleasure in physical intimacy w/o an emotional connection.

This is emphasised with having a Virgo Mars because Earth Mars typically have a fluctuating sex drive so he can probably abstain for awhile and be okay with it.

Red & Green Flags:

Red:

Emotional and verbal dysregulation! His 12th House Mercury indicates difficulty expressing emotions in a calm and collected manner.

The Sagittarius influence heightens that trait by making his impulsive behaviour more erratic and could be seething for days before he randomly explodes over a simple issue.

PETTY! The 12th House Mercury and Scorpio placements indicate he could be the type to weaponize the silent treatment, going for hours without speaking to you until you figured out what you did wrong.

Green:

LOYAL TO THE BONE!!! You could go to hell and back and Hongjoong would hold your hand the entire time. These moments of 'difficulties' actually enhance Hongjoong's affection towards you because you trust him to see you at your most 'vulnerable'.

Committment!!! Yes, this should be a bare minimum but Hongjoong would be a faithful man and you would never have to worry about him cheating because he probably views cheating as a betrayal of trust.

Self-automony! By this I mean he values independence and wouldn't try to 'change' you as a person and would choose to accept your flaws and all.

Ideal Type...If He's Into Women:

It's interesting because his 5th House in Taurus is the complete opposite to his Scorpio Venus so his type could have polarising qualities.

Either they are boisterous and loud in public and shy and laid-back around him or vice versa. He likes a partner who shows a side of themselves that only Hongjoong can see.

Hongjoong is definitely an arse and legs man and would be attracted to the grunge but feminine archetype so lace dresses, stockings with Doc Martens etc.

I've noticed in fancalls he loves curly hair, whenever there's a fancall with an Atiny and they have curly hair, he'll always comment about how good their hair looks.

Dom, Sub Or Switch?

Hongjoong is one of the members that's more of a true 'switch' when it comes to power dynamics and yes, he is definitely more on the dominant side BUT not to far...I'd say 60% dominant, 40% submissive.

It's why whenever I scroll the ateez smut tags and see a Seongjoong fic where it's bottom!hwa...I laugh because it's actually the other way around.

Hongjoong is definitely more of a service/pleasure dom and his Gemini Moon and 11th House Venus makes him flexible in what he desires sexually in a partner.

He would enjoy having a bratty sub that he can put in place (kindly) like you see with Wooyoung.

He would also enjoy an obedient sub that completely adores and worships him.

No matter what, he needs to know that you're willing and trusting to put your entire body and soul in his hands.

Kinks...Just A Few Of Them:

Corruption!!!

Yes, I know this is very obvious BUT it's completely true because his Scorpio placements indicates he wants to OWN you as partner (consensual of course) and the thought of him being the FIRST to touch you, to mould you to his desires...it would just cause his heart to quicken and his mind to race with the most impure of thoughts.

This would also cater towards enjoying someone who might be nervous/slightly insecure around him, it would boost his ego to see your cheeks flush at him taking off your clothes or whispering something suggestive in your ear.

'You're so cute when you're nervous angel but don't worry, I'll take care of you because you're mine remember? And I always look after what's mine'.

Voyeurism...Kinda??

Hear me out and if someone knows the proper term for this...can you comment down below???

But with Hongjoong and his love for photography...he'd love to keep a personal scrapbook of all the photos he's taken of you after a steamy session of love-making.

This goes hand in hand with his corruption kink and his love for 'ruining' you- lipstick smeared, hair tousled, mascara running down your face, cheeks flushed.

I'm leaning towards voyeurism because he wouldn't show these photos to anyone, they would be for his own personal collection because he gets off on knowing that it's just HIM that can do this to you and see you this way.

'Fuck angel, spread your legs a bit more...I want to see it all drip out for me...these photos just want to make me dress you up and fuck you all over again'.

Taglist: @scuzmunkie @marievllr-abg @umbralhelwolf @starsareseen @lino-jagiyaa @mischiefsmind @mrcarrots @junieshohoho @partywithgyu @whatsk-poppinhomies @craxy-person @hologramhoneymoon @gyuhanniescarat @staytinyinmybpack @necessiteez @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @berryberrytan @laylasbunbunny @bangchanbabygirlx @i-love-ateez @anyamaris @krishastumblernow @hexheathen

@michel-angelhoe @northerngalxy @justaaveragereader @ja3hwa

@lyramundana @saintfool @wolfakira @youre-alittle-taste-of-hell @silentreaderthings @daddysspecialdollyworld @abby-grace @smilefordongil @wisejudgedragonhairdo @writhingwrecked @hongthoven

Please comment, share and thirst the hell out of this because this took WEEKS to finish!!!

May's fic will be out and published on the 31st.

[catiuskaa]

EACH OTHER’S SOUNDTRACK.

summary: the need to know more and to keep listening to the music: attention, the begining of devotion —you have had each other’s from the start.

series masterlist (☆) collab with @dalamjisung !

wc: 3.7k

cw: fluff! using my (10!) years of music lessons, so technical lingo [use of italian], i’m making jisung a pianist, he’s playing lalaland’s piano theme and other piano studios, another soundtrack too (i won’t spoil it!), they are so whipped it’s hilarious, shoutout to debussy, sibelius and rimsky-korsakov, they’re a bit dead but yk contribution is always appreciated

[🔷 ☆🎼☆ 🔷]

His presence made itself noticeable in slow beats of tempo.

Da capo. From the start.

It was a quiet night. Or rather it had been, until the tranquil sound of a piano came from above you. The melody sang to you, unspoken words below it’s charming notes, D natural, F sharp, A flat, A natural, A flat, F sharp, C sharp, the rich tone of the instrument reaching your ears, cheekily waking you up from your short-lived slumber, as if you were the one who was meant to be listening.

Your sleepy brain recognized the melody, and you almost brushed it off to your new neighbour watching that soul-crashing movie, until the tempo started to speed up.

Crescendo. Accelerando.

A new octave joined in, and the melody changed, fluctuated, its sweet sweet tone almost like a stroke, tender, kind, and loving. Like a summary to the first half of the movie, the melody was cheerful, and almost cheesy when it doubled, now being accompanied by a lower version of itself. Until it started turning lower, deeper, faster, faster, and then, it exploded.

You couldn’t listen to the music anymore. It wasn’t a matter of notes or melody when all that was there was an artist screaming to be heard, and for a second, it almost felt like he was right in front of you, a scale, large and strained, yet beautiful, being tortured out of the piano as the instrument seemed to yell what the artist couldn’t.

And alas, it stopped.

Lonely nights you spent waiting for his piano, as his music, calm and tranquil, charmed you in the arms of Morpheus. And when soon after, summer weather arrived, it only worsened. Summer nights were always hot, so it was understandable that he kept his window open, and because the both of you lived in the same crappy studio-room departments, only a staircase away from each other, same thing went for you.

But today —tonight— you were sweaty and awake, yearning for that mysterious pianist to lull you back to sleep. You couldn’t help but need more. Maybe not sleep, solely a peek. A bit over a week had passed, so maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t too late for introductions.

Well. There was only one way to know.

Surreal. It’s how it feels when you stand up and halphazardly grab a jacket and a hair clip, to at least pretend you had the energy to do your hair propperly before heading upstairs.

Your steps don’t echo when you head outside, warm in your squirrel-themed loafers, completely different to the door, whose loud bang when it closed caught you by surprise, fully waking you up.

Making your way upstairs seems harder than you had though way back when you were half asleep, but you push through until you’re in front of his door. Your fist is barely an inch away from the wooden surface, and there’s nothing stoping you now until there is.

The piano comes back.

If it’s a popular tune, much like the one he had just played, you didn’t recognize it. Being this close was different. Closer. Closer. The music reverberated underneath you, sneaking under the wooden door, as if calling you in, an invite.

Your arm falls limp by your side, your body frozen, held hostage by the sound some unknown hands produced just a few metres in front of you as the realisation hits.

You don’t dare. What if opening the door ends the music? And running back down the stairs, a small part of you wonders if you ever will. But, worry not. In between you and me, dear reader, no one can run away from the power of a meet cute.

It’s late morning already when you get out of the shower and dry your hair. You’re early for work, you always are, so you relish the small fragment of time remaining between the moment you are ready and the moment when the rest of the world is. Turning on your record player, settling the vinyl in place, gently and ever-so-slowly placing down the needle to free the music from its plain and rounded cage, letting it flow through your whole apartment and out the windows.

Scheherazade dominates every space of your studio apartment, filling up each and every corner with its sound. The now familiar melody of the violin claims its throne and rules over the kingdom that it has conquered, as you move along the space it has claimed, far from being solely yours when the bassoon slowly creeps up.

Largo e maestoso. Fortíssimo.

What you never expected —let alone imagined—, was being interrupted by a knock on the door.

The orchestra doesn’t mind it. How could it, when its sound thoroughly overpowers that of the door. Whoever had knocked had been hesitant, at least the first time, because then its intensity heightens.

“Coming!” You claim, because what else could you say? So you quickly put on your shirt and messily tuck it under your long skirt that reaches just below you knees, wondering whether it could be your landlord or not, rushing to the record player to lower its volume until you finally rush and open the door.

A mix of vanilla and cinnamon. The scent of his cologne hits you and you can’t help but blink hesitantly.

What welcomes you behind the door isn’t the middle-aged man with hearing problems that smelled of the warmth homemade lemon pie left behind, having tasted it yourself already hundreds of times before whenever his daughter made it. No, it was far from whatever you could’ve guessed.

And a small part of you wonders if it could be him, which is almost revealed by the first thing he utters, that threatens to give him away, if the suit he’s dressed in hadn’t already.

The pianist.

“The tale of the Kalendar Prince?”

It’s almost a mumble, one that could almost end up hidden by the music that still sounds, a combination of notes that turns the melody melancholic, a slow-paced yet not quite ritardando, F sharp, G sharp, A natural, and a scale that follows, a soundtrack to your first encounter.

“Rimsky-Korsakov.” You nod with a hesitant smile, confused as to which could be the reason for him to stand before you.

He smiles, and you find it impossible for any chord or melody to describe what it does to your heart. It’s heart-shaped brightness softens you, and your hand gingerly lowers from the door, your grasp weakened by the force of the feeling that overcomes you.

“I’m much more of a Debussy kind of guy.”

He says it almost as if the sentence had unwillingly escaped from his lips, wondering if such a statement should’ve been left in the back of his mind, not wanting to upset you.

You could kiss him.

Instead, you sheepishly chuckle. “Is there something I could do for you?” It’s a faint attempt to ground yourself. He’s a stranger, the closest stranger you’ve ever met. Like a language you’re no longer fluent in but still remember how to read. The language, a combination of sounds.

The sounds of music.

“Right.” His snicker comes out bashfully, and you wonder how could he had escaped from your pocket. “I, uh, my name is Han Jisung. I moved upstairs a week ago.” He propells his hand forward, his eyes gente and kind, a shy dust on the colour of his irises.

You smile, and the shy dust weakens when you grab his hand, overpowered by a glow you don’t dare to try and decipher.

“Pleasure to meet you.” It so was. You followed suit, introducing yourself.

His grin doesn’t falter for a second, and you wonder how fast one could be charmed by someone else. Pretty fast, judging by how reluctantly you let go of his soft grasp, his hands in pristine condition, and funnily enough, his nails painted black with pink stars, a shade of pink similar to your own.

It’s almost as if, for a second, he forgets why he’s there, until he lets out a low chuckle.

“I hadn’t presented myself, but meeting you, I’m not sure if you could help…”

You blushed, a shy bit confused. “Try me.” Your tone is playful, and surely enough, —maybe it wasn’t just for your tone, but that, you didn’t know— he matches, his cheeks dusted with pink.

“Okay, then.” He giggles, killing you slowly. “This is the only white shirt I have, and I need one today, but I didn’t know it needed cufflinks.” Jisung shows you, the cuff of his sleeves open, no buttons on sight. “I doubt you have men cufflinks.”

You nibble with your lower lip, and while pondering, staring at the wooden floor of the hallway, staring to something that Han couldn’t see, you miss the way his eyes soften and his pupils dilate, as if wanting to observe you, much like the way a musician hears a piece for the first time, the familiar notes mixing to create something new.

“Maybe I don’t, but…” you mumble with a cheeky smile, and it disarms him.

Confidently, you too miss the way his eyes never leave your silhouette as you walk to the door on the other way of the hallway.

You knock, and with a flick of your hand, usher him to your side.

“Hey, Artie?”

There’s a shy beat of silence, your music not travelling far away from your apartment.

“If it’s the IRS, Artie isn’t here!”

You can’t help but laugh at the way Jisung shows his surprise at the low and chirping tone that replies to your sweet call.

“A kind neighbour?” He questions teasingly, looking down at you slightly, barely noticing the sudden closeness in between you.

“The landlord’s wife.”

He doesn’t have time to react before the door opens, and a short, old woman appears, the strength on her unexpected, but her grin softens at the sight of you.

“Remember me? Gina’s friend?” You smile sheepishly, proving yourself by mentioning her granddaughter’s name.

“Of course I remember you, silly,” she grins, chuckling. “These bones of mine may be old, but I couldn’t forget such a pretty face like yours. And your flower shop is still my favourite.”

Jisung’s eyes soften when he looks at you. Her wrickled yet soft hands craddle your face, and you giggle. But then, she squints her eyes at Han, pursing her lips.

“Who is this young man? Your boyfriend?”

You know you’re a cheeky bastard when you speak before him, stopping him from correcting her.

“He needs cufflinks. You think Richie will mind if we borrow a pair?”

Artie doesn’t miss the blush that settles on both Jisung and you.

“Kids flirt so weirdly nowadays.” She mumbles, a little confused, but she enjoys the way it flusters you two.

“Wait here. I’ll see if I can find ones that aren’t covered in batter or flour.” Her grin feels teasing when she heads back inside.

You looked at Han and answered the question he had written on his expression. “They own the bakery that’s under this building.”

It was almost as if you couldn’t stop looking at him. The way his cheeks rounded when he smiled at Artie. How his laugh reverberated between the walls of your apartment when you told him the woman’s name was Artemisa and he hadn’t expected it. How his pianist fingers trail on the edges of your vinyls, swiftly looking at your collection, making appreciating comments and initiating banter.

He already had his cufflinks, but Jisung just couldn’t seem to leave.

“Oh, shit.” Sadly, even if he hadn’t left, you had to go. “This was fun.” You chuckle, and he smiles too, nodding. “I uh, I’m kinda late for work.”

“Did I keep you from leaving?”

His eyes are tender, and the softness of his voice weakens you. For the first time in what feels like forever, you hesitate, wondering if you should really go to work.

“No! No, gosh, you’re fine.” Yes, he was. That was part of the issue, honestly. “I lost track of time. But… it was very nice meeting you.”

“You too,” he grins, taking your hand in his again. “It’s refreshing to talk to someone who likes music almost as much as me.”

And reluctantly letting go of his hand again, you rush downstairs, heading to work.

[🔷 ☆🎼☆ 🔷]

You can still smell the mix of flowers and different types of green on you. Its scent lingers on you and you cherish it, walking back home slowly on a warm summer night.

Lost deep in thought, as always. Gingerly skipping as you make your way through the street, relishing the way the moon beams, stepping on the little traces of water that the summer showers had left while you were still in the flowershop. It’s by no means cold, but your hands never leave your pockets.

That’s how you notice that you hadn’t picked your keys before you left home.

You curse, your mood a bit pissed off, but you shrug and accept it, still a bit lost in the depths of your mind when you get close to your apartment complex.

It may seem like leaving without your keys happens a lot —and sometimes it did, to be honest— by how organic it feels when you jump and lower down the fire escape stairs and grunting lightly you climb them, not allowing them to fall to the floor completely so its easier for you to put them back in place. It’s dull and boring. It’s the end of the day and the start of the night.

But then, as you go up the stairs, you start hearing the piano.

It’s different from what you have heard from him before. You recognize the piece, the trickiness of Sibelius, the speed of the music, the pacing and how it gets faster and faster, in an accelerando that almost makes you walk faster up the stairs, and you can’t help but smile, basking in the glowth of the moon and what now seems to be your soundtrack as you go up the fire escape stairs and plan to head through your open window.

But when you turn to face the window and groan slightly when trying to open it, the music stops.

You must have focused on the music too much, because you got into the wrong fucking house.

“Shit, Jisung.” You mumble, even if your leg is stepping into his living room already.

“Oh. You are here.” He giggles. “Thought I had fallen asleep on the piano again for a minute.”

“I was just… and then I heard you play, and I, uh…”

Staring at the floor, looking for something that could justify the sudden break in, you miss how Jisung gets close to you and helps you lift the old window higher, smiling.

“It’s okay. I could use the company.”

The sincerity on his voice stops your scheming, leaving you with no excuse, and you take your shoes off and leave them by the window, feeling like some cartoon character who had followed the scent trail of a homemade pie, floating behind it.

It’s silly. And if you were in the right state of mind, and not sleep deprived like usually, you’d probably feel a bit self-concious. Yet when you retell it to Jisung, the whole story just seems funny. Stupidly funny. So funny that he almost spills the cups of decaf coffee he makes for the both of you.

Taking your jacket off, you sip from the coffee mug he hands you, your heart cheekily spinning inside you when your fingers brush against each other.

He scratches his eyes, thoroughly amused, as he sits back on the piano stool. Even to you, the motion seems organic from the outside, and you wonder how many times could he have done the same action, how many scratches had the wood below it taken from settling the stool just right, in the space enough to be in front of the correct note and scale, close enough for his arms to rest on the black and white keys comfortably, and far enough so that it forces his back to stand in a position that won’t make him end up with crippling backpain.

“What were you playing before?” You smile as he too sips, warming his hands by holding the coffee with both.

“Before you entered a private property?” He snickers, and you snort, rolling your eyes.

“I haven’t heard you play like that before.” You are avoiding his eyes, because the moonlight does nothing but make him even more handsome, and you’re flustered enough already.

“I knew that the piano could be heard.” He mumbles. “The couple upstairs already told me off the first day, but when I told them I was a musician, they turned full-on proud parents mode.” He chuckles, and you snicker too, crossing your legs and sitting comfortably on the armrest of his sofa, so to face him. “I was wondering if you’d come tell me off too.”

You just blink at him, blushing. “I liked it.”

He blushes, and changes the topic, sheepish.

“It was Sibelius. What I was playing before you dared tresspass my property.”

“Very funny, pianist.” He snickers, and your heart screams at you to hurry up and start looking for an engagement ring. “Weren’t you a Debussy guy?”

“Absolutely. Nothing beats Debussy.” He nods proudly, as if the dead musician had been a close friend. “Like this one.”

You can’t distinguish the melody, but the light melancholy of it gives away Debussy in a second.

“Debussy is a trickster,” he says lowly, still playing. B flat, C natural, D natural, G natural, and then back down. “He always makes one think he’ll be going easy. Until he keeps going.” You enjoy the way he lets the music flow, the feeling that gives you uncomparable to that of your vinyls, because nothing could beat a real-life interpretation. You smile at the difference in tones, in the way the cadences complete each other.

The music continues, and his hand follows the other. Easily, the long piano fills his apartment with its music. It’s efervescent, how it turns dramatic, how he plays with the intensity, talent flowing over how his fingers move along and over the keys, the skill of a musician showing, playing by memory.

Jisung’s enthralled on his play, and you know it by how he takes a second to look up at you after you move closer. The mug he gave you is settled next to his, on the piano, and you both giggle shyly when he moves and gives you a bit of space to sit on the piano stool next to him.

He keeps playing, and for a second, it takes you back to your own apartment, threatening to lull you to sleep.

You don’t, though. Gently, you clap when he finishes playing, and you chuckle when he bows, overly exaggerated.

“Teach me,” you say, smiling, in your eyes a glow that matched that one he had hours ago, below your doorframe. “Something easy.”

He ponders for a second, and gingerly takes his mug and finishes his coffee, brushing your shoulders together when he takes the mug and when he settles it back next to yours.

His hand comes and he lays it over yours. Han doesn’t speak, and you don’t either, not daring to interrupt. You hold back a shiver when you notice his breathing hitting your neck, instead focusing on how his hand moves yours.

“D natural, G natural… B… no, B flat, D natural.” He announces in a low mumble, pressing each key with your fingers, smiling when he sees you nod, so concentrated. “Try that a bit faster, apprentice.”

You snicker, and even if he tells you to try it on your own, his hand barely leaves yours when you try it yourself.

“Good.” He grins. “Now,” he starts, his tone still low, speaking gently a bit over your shoulder, and his hand back to where it belongs. Back on yours as he keeps playing. “D natural, C natural, B flat, A natural, B flat.”

“Wait,” you giggle, finally recognizing the piece. “That’s Howl’s Moving Castle!”

He smiles, unable to do anything else as he stares at you giddy self while you play the simple melody back again and again. You giggle, and smile at him a wide, toothy grin that kills him.

But as your eyes meet each other’s, your smile gently fades away.

His skin seems to glow under the moonlight that enters through the open window, it’s almost impossible to look away. You lean backwards slightly, impressed, and he moves to you, your arm hugging your waist, not letting you fall from the piano stool.

Han swallows dry, the force he uses to save you pushing you further against him.

You’re a mess when he looks away, and both of you miss each other when his arm falls back to his side. Standing up, you head back to the window, sitting on the windowsill to put your shoes back on.

He’s going to kill himself if his hopeless romantic heart doesn’t do him the favour, drowning him for ruining the moment. The mugs you two used, the rim on yours slightly stained by a faint pinkish shimmer, tug at his heart strings.

“I uh, thanks for letting me in. Sorry to have barged in, too…” you cringe at your tone, staring at the floor again, your hand on the window, still sat on the windowsill, a moment from stepping outside.

And once more, he approaches you. But this time, his hands don’t reach to the window to help you open it further.

With the shy music you two just played still lingering in the air, Jisung bends down and reaches to your cheek, and presses a bashfull kiss on your lips.

“My window will be open for you.” He grins, blushing like crazy.

He doesn’t tell you the title of the Debussy piece he played a moment ago. He knows, though, as much as he knows what inspired him to play it.

You.

Reverie. A dream.

A dream come true, on a warm summer night.

[🔷 ☆🎼☆ 🔷]

kats, a flutist —very much piano enthusiast, as little as I can play it—, who can figure out notes as they sound (it’s called perfect pitch!)

catiuskaa, august 2024 ©

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[icysnails]

Hello sorry if I'm bothering you but I wanted to share one of my ideas with you. So what if the reader appeared on the Loufu and it caused a small tremor along with a large energy fluctuation so Jing Yuan went to investigate with Fu Xuan going with him and they came across an unconscious person who was not only confused when they awoke but completely exhausted, hungry and with strange markings on some parts of their body and when they got examined by a doctor it was discovered that they had an extremely large amount of strange energy within their body. (This was inspired by the first episode of Aphmau Diaries rebirth, here's the link if you don't know what I'm talking about: https://youtu.be/1Vzq1QZVtuk?si=kyIxOyJTSnTjNaMG) (if you don't want to write this that's completely alright and I wish you a good morning/afternoon or goodnight☺️)

An Unexpected Guest

A/n: Hello anon!! I’m so sorry for the late response- thank you so much for your patience! I really like this idea- I’ve heard a lot about the Aphmau series but I’ve never gotten the chance to actually watch it (^o^) I hope you have a fabulous day!!

Warnings: mentions of severe injuries/wounds + infections + unconsciousness, slight refernces to Honkai Impact 3rd (reader’s markings are implied to be honkai infections + mentions of reader fighting archangels from Hi3)

Genre: fluff

Pairing: Jing Yuan x gn!reader (PLATONIC), Fu Xuan x gn!reader (PLATONIC)

Word Count: 1.9k

All was peaceful on the Xianzhou Luofu. Beams of sunlight illuminated the vibrant blue sky, tinting everything in a warm shade of gold. Shops operated on every street, the sharp ping of bells and the shouts of shopkeepers echoed out through the streets, attracting clamoring swells of civilians in record time. Children happily played among the crowds, swept up in the rare, shopping-induced excitement of the adults. For a change, there was little distress anywhere on the ship. There was no word of the Stellaron Hunters, no new reports of people being Mara struck, and even no reports of petty crimes. The workload wasn’t too terrible for those in command of the Luofu either- Jing Yuan was able to take a long nap, and Fu Xuan was able to take a break and have some tea for the first time in weeks. Yangqing managed to squeeze in some training time too. All was well. All was normal.

But of course, in a universe as vast and random as this one, the fates wouldn’t let it stay this peaceful for long. And of course, as a general, Jing Yuan must be prepared for anything. It is one of his most basic duties to stay alert and be ready at all times. Even so, the sleeping general couldn’t help but flinch in surprise as an ear-shattering boom echoed throughout the whole ship, followed by an earthquake that managed to toss even him out of bed. Meanwhile, just as Fu Xuan was about to swallow her first sip of tea, the vigorous shaking of the floor managed to knock the teacup out of her hands. Not only did she have to watch as her favorite cup shattered to bits, but she choked on her tea as well, leaving her in a wheezing heap on the floor. 

Thankfully both parties quickly recovered and ran to the windows of their respective offices to see what happened. A pillar of light shone from the Starskiff docks, along with a plume of dust that undoubtedly came from an explosion. Only a few minutes after this discovery, Fu Xuan was given orders from Jing Yuan to go inspect the crisis with him. So much for a peaceful day. 

As the disoriented pair cautiously approached the docks, they saw the silhouette of a crumpled body lying in the center of the dissipating light. Jing Yuan was the first to kneel down and inspect the injured figure. After checking your pulse, it became clear that you were still alive. But just barely. You were covered in deep, razor-fine cuts, and sizeable bruises littered your legs and arms. Jing Yuan didn’t know what had happened to you, but it was clear that what went down wasn’t good. The dark circles under your eyes suggested that you had been fighting for a long time, with no rest or nutrition. Taking a step back, the general’s features morphed into an expression of deep concern. He sighed and turned to his diviner companion, who was practically bursting to comment on the situation.

“Fu Xuan… I imagine you saw this coming?”

“I, in fact… did not. For once, my divinations couldn’t pick up on… well, anything of note happening today.”

“Hm… how interesting.”

Jing Yuan cast his gaze down to you once more, trying to decide what to do next. Fu Xuan merely suffered in silence at his side, completely unsure of what to do as well. After a few moments of heavy silence, the general scooped up your beaten body in his arms and began walking back to the Exalting Sanctum. Fu Xuan stared at him for a few moments before jogging after him, urgently asking him what he was doing. Jing Yuan calmly explained that, given the strange nature of the situation, you would need to be brought in for questioning and given heavy medical attention. The diviner huffed, quietly grumbling something about incompetence before following in his wake. 

Once they returned to the Exanting Sanctum, Jing Yuan called upon his tiny friend Bailu to help heal you. Having called upon her for anti-sleeping medicine many times before, Jing Yuan practically had her on speed dial in case any new problems arose. Hours upon hours passed before you were well enough to awaken, but Bailu’s work certainly did not disappoint. The gashes on your body had faded into nothingness, save for a few scars, and the herbs she used helped you recover after losing so much blood. According to Bailu, you needed much more time to rest, but by tomorrow you would be alright. However, one odd trait resisted her treatment: the glowing lines left on your stomach.

Bailu was the only one who had seen them so far. The markings were hidden by cloth and blood when you were found, so it slipped past the awareness of the general and diviner. She worriedly called them in, asking if they knew what those marks were, but she was given no answers. Perhaps the truth would reveal itself when you woke up, but for now, it was hopeless. Jing Yuan gratefully bid the exhausted healer goodbye, taking a seat by your bed afterward. Meanwhile, Fu Xuan further examined your markings. They were long, branch-like streaks of bright purple that extended towards your chest, almost like an infection. However, they didn’t seem to be getting worse, and they didn’t behave the way a bad infection would. Feeling a bit frustrated, she gave up and resorted to waiting alongside the general. 

While Jing Yuan fell asleep in no time, the poor diviner was left awake and antsy. The room was dead quiet, but the anxious tapping of her foot repeatedly broke the silence. She could see the future, for god's sake! How could she have ended up so clueless in this situation?! She was so used to knowing everything, planning ahead, and having things run as they should. But now, she was at a complete loss. She didn’t know anything about those marks, or about you. And she if there was one thing she hated, it was not knowing things. In order to save her sanity from crashing and burning, she hurried out of your room to browse the Luofu’s databases for information. And oh boy, did she find what she was looking for.

The amount of information locked away in the Luofu’s archives was enough to have anyone floored- even Fu Xuan. As her gaze flickered over each document she found about body markings, she became even more astounded at what she found. The markings you had signified great power, but were also a promise of anguish and ruin. The only other person to have these marks crashed onto the ship centuries ago, in the same way you did. No one knew who they were, or why they appeared. Even after contacting other planets, it became clear that they had never been seen before. Those markings were a mystery, as well as their identity. All anyone knew was that they possessed powers akin to a god, and were classified as a severe threat.

Borderline sprinting, Fu Xuan hauled herself back to your room to tell Jing Yuan everything she found. You could bring ruin to everyone on the Luofu if what she read was true. Not to mention the fact that you were immune to her divinations– you already had an advantage against her. Maybe this was all part of your plan, maybe you had already begun to–

As she opened the door to your room, her spiral immediately stopped. To her surprise, you were awake and pleasantly chatting away with the general. You seemed… polite. Friendly, even. Once you noticed her presence, you kindly greeted her and asked how she was. Fu Xuan short-circuited at this, staring at you in sheer bewilderment. What happened to the flames and destruction she read about? What exactly was going on?! She was still very wary of you, but she mustered up the courage to respond with a terse “Hello. I'm fine”. The way you greeted her showed that you weren’t an immediate threat, so maybe she could entertain small talk with you. For now, at least. 

After Fu Xuan discreetly briefed Jing Yuan on what she found, they began to question you. It was like something out of a good cop/bad cop show. The general was authoritative yet calm, and the diviner was like a defensive chihuahua. You revealed that you had been fighting off a swarm of white, bug-like creatures when you lost consciousness. All you could remember was getting hit in the stomach by one of them before blacking out. Jing Yuan gave his companion a knowing side-eye. Where you got hit was undoubtedly connected to those markings. They’d have to have Bailu examine them again once you were settled in, and testing would be necessary if you were cooperative enough.

But what were they meant to do now? They obviously couldn’t let you roam around the universe to fend for yourself, especially if those lines meant that you were uncontrollably powerful. They couldn’t keep you in captivity either though- it was inhumane, and would only make everything worse. If they wanted to give you freedom while keeping the universe safe, they would have to let you stay on the ship until they confirmed you weren’t a threat. Jing Yuan was intrigued by you- not just because you were an enigma, but because of your personality. You were kind, even in such jarring circumstances. you showed a rare kind of strength, one that pushed him to converse with you more. Besides, with the power you supposedly held, you could prove to be a useful force against the mara. 

“I’m assuming you don't have anywhere to go, yes?”

“Jing Yuan, just what are you thinkin–”

“We would be happy to house you on the Xianzhou Luofu for a while. There’s more we would like to ask you about… and, I have a feeling you’ve got a myriad of interesting stories to tell.”

After a moment of contemplation, you wearily accepted. The offer was very generous- besides, what other options did you have? You had no recorded identity in this world and no way of knowing what dangers awaited you. Heading out on your own was a death wish. Besides, your conversation with the general had been nice, and his pink-haired friend was entertaining. Here, you didn’t feel threatened. Jing Yuan seemed like a kind man, and it had been a while since someone had listened to you so attentively. You couldn’t help but be drawn to the diviner beside him as well. She might have been openly suspicious of you, but you couldn’t blame her. Her grumpy, yet determined way of going about things was amusing, and you could tell that there was a softer side to her behind her defensiveness. It was admirable how well she held herself together despite the chaotic nature of your arrival. 

It would take a lot of time to process all that had happened to you in the last 24 hours (along with a lot of therapy), but at least you had two allies to fall back on now. It was probably a poor choice to trust them so quickly, but the energy they exuded was welcoming– you could tell they were good people. Maybe the universe brought you to them for a reason. It was far-fetched, but if you were going to end up in a completely foreign world, who better to take you in than two of the ship’s leaders? As you fell asleep that night, long after the two of them had left, you attempted to prepare yourself for the next few weeks. The rest of your journey might end up being hell, but you had a feeling that will the help of the general and diviner, everything might just turn out okay.

[cupidcures]

When Tulips Kiss | Hwang Hyunjin SMAU

CHAPTERS: 𝜗𝜚 eight | nine | 𝜗𝜚 ten

WORD COUNT: 3.5k (not proofread)

CONTAINS: implied sexual intercourse, very brief mention of an insecure body image (only once), it gets a little toxic towards the end

happy birthday

March 19, 2020 - 06:30.

It was that time of the year when the weather would fluctuate vastly, going from perfect during the day, to chilly when it was the moon’s time to shine. It was that time of the year when the South Korean winter finally began its time to thaw out, revealing the longer-lasting days, giving proper energy from the sun for the first bloom of the spring flowers. March was always the start of a beautiful spring, and it was home to the birthday of a person you cherish and love very deeply. Waking up with the sun peeking through the sheer curtains, you roll over to find your boyfriend lying there, sound asleep, and you find yourself staring at his sleeping figure for god knows how long. Eventually, you decide to get up from the bed, but not before you plant a gentle kiss on his forehead. Yours and Hyunjin’s articles of clothing decorated the floor of his room as memories from last night flashed through your mind. Standing in front of the full-length body mirror, your fingertips traced and connected all the love bites that adorned your skin. You weren’t sure how long you were standing there, but it wasn’t until the man you love, who was now awake, spoke, and snapped you out of your trance.

“You’re so perfect,” Hyunjin muttered softly before standing up and embracing you from behind.

“I love you my honeybee, but I have to disagree with you, I haven’t been feeling the best about my body lately.” you sighed, and before you knew it, you were thrown onto the bed and attacked with his hands tickling your sides.

“HYUNJIN NO STOP!!” You cried out in laughter as you squirmed around, trying to get away. The sound of Hyunjin’s laughter blended together with yours, the both of you were being so loud that you were sure his neighbors were able to hear. But you didn’t care, they were probably used to it anyway.

“Take it back and I stop!!” Hyunjin giggles as you thrash around.

“I take it back!!”

“ARE YOU PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE??”

“Yes!! Yes, I’m perfect just the way I am now please stop before I pee myself!!!!” You plead with laughter as the boy on top of you finally stops with a smug grin on his face.

“Damn right you are, you’re gorgeous and I wouldn’t change a thing about you.” Hyunjin leans down and places his lips on the tip of your ear, kissing down to your jawline, then your neck, then your shoulders and collarbone.

“I love and absolutely ADORE everything about you. You’re so perfect, inside and out.” He mumbles against your warm and sunkissed skin. He moves down to your waist and gives kisses on each side before caressing them, and you can’t help but let out a small whimper as he chuckles.

“I love your personality, I love your voice and the sound of your laughter, I love the way you get excited over every little thing, I love your curves. I love the curves on your body but I love it on your lips the most. My flower, you are so perfect and I can’t stand the thought of you feeling like you’re anything less than that. Now let’s get up, yeah? Let’s get you dressed and we can go downstairs and cook some breakfast.” He lifts himself off of you and reaches out his hand for you to grab and pull yourself up with. As his back turns to fetch you one of his shirts from his closet, you smile to yourself subconsciously. You and your loving boyfriend have been together for 2 almost 3 years since the beginning of freshman year, and now you guys are juniors who soon have to bid goodbye and greet your senior year instead. You couldn’t have asked for anyone better, because there’s nobody else for you but him.

“Lift your arms, Baby.” Hyunjin's softspoken tone soothes you and you do what you’re told so he can dress you in his shirt. Holding your hand, he leads you to the door and downstairs to the kitchen. “Now let’s cook, I’m fucking starving!!”

March 19, 2020 - 12:30.

“The bell needs to ring already… I hate this class so much like SERIOUSLY!! I hate history!!” One of your best friends, Jisung, groaned and slammed his head on the table, causing a loud thud noise. You winced just from hearing the impact and tilted your head in concern.

“Are you…. Okay?” You asked as he groaned even more while rubbing his head before hesitantly nodding, paying his attention back to the teacher, who had then just started explaining that she will be assigning a new project, a project that she will be assigning partners to. Everyone in the class collectively expressed their dismay but the teacher shushed everyone, proceeding to pair students up. You and Jisung looked at each other and rolled your eyes, before laughing to yourselves. Everybody hated this class, and it was hard to defend it. The two of you talked to each other about basically anything until she finally called your name to be paired up with someone.

“Song Y/N, you will be paired with Lee Heeseung. One of you, please grab your stuff and move next to each other.”

You sighed and pouted as Jisung pouted back at you, your hopes of being paired with someone you know, gone. Right when you were about to get up to move, Heeseung had already stood up and moved next to you with a flashy smile.

“Hey Y/N!” Heeseung greeted you and held his hand out as you shook it, “It’s so nice to meet you. I’ve heard about you before! Hyunjin’s girl right? He never shuts up about you. You’re as pretty as he describes.”

You nod as a light blush dusted your cheeks. Even 3 years after you guys became official, you still get shy and surprised whenever people mention that Hyunjin talks about you so much. “Thank you. Heeseung right? It’s nice to meet you too.” After the small talk and greetings, you guys proceeded to talk about the dreaded project that your teacher assigned up until the lunch bell rang.

“I’m assuming you’re going to meet up with Hyunjin right? Can I come with? I gotta give him the notes he missed yesterday.” The boy you just met asked with a shy grin and you agreed to let him come. The walk to the library, the place you always meet Hyunjin at, was awkward and you guys didn’t really talk, and if you did, it would just be simple one-word answers that you couldn’t continue a conversation with. It felt like an eternity until you guys FINALLY reached the library, and when you guys did, you took a seat at an available table and tapped the seat in front of you, signaling for him to sit down too.

“Soo… How do you know Hyunjin?” You questioned, wanting to know more about this friend? Acquaintance? Whatever he is to Hyunjin because, well, he knows Hyunjin!

“We have chemistry together! OH! I just remembered something but you can’t tell Hyunjin.” Heeseung stood up from his chair and leaned down to your ear.

“There’s a surprise party for his birthday tomorrow, I’m sure you already know that though. BUT I need help picking out a present for him. I was talking to him the other day and he said that you were the one who knew him best.” He whispers in your ear before straightening his back then rests his arms on his hips, “So I thought maybe you could help me with that too!”

“Oh, I’m down! When did you wanna do it?” You ask so you can make sure that you tell Hyunjin that you’re going to be busy.

“Let’s go out later today just you and me, but you have to make sure not to tell Hyunjin. Make an excuse or something!” Heeseung gave you a thumbs-up, and you copied his gesture with a smile.

“Okay, can I get your number so I can text you when we can go?” He gives you his phone shyly and you take it, inputting your number in.

“I should get going, I didn’t think it would take Hyunjin this long to come and I gotta meet up with my friends for lunch. Cya! Thanks for the help!” He waves goodbye and you wave back, but what he said has you thinking. You look at your phone and the time. 20 minutes have passed and he’s still not here? And no notifications either? You decided to wait a little longer, just in case something came up and he had to be a little late, but you couldn’t help but worry so you text him just in case.

March 19, 2020 - 16:00.

The tuned melody of the dismissal bell rang throughout the school as the chatter of students quickly rose and flooded your ears. You would usually be happy and peppy by now, joyous that the school day had ended, but you didn’t have a good feeling and it felt as if something was wrong. Hyunjin hadn’t gotten back to you, not even a single text. The thought of something possibly happening to him made you sick to your stomach, but all you could do was pray that he would meet you by your locker. So there you were, waiting for your boyfriend to come by and tell you that everything was going to be okay and that you were just worried over nothing. You were constantly scanning your surroundings in hopes of seeing the boy you love so much as you anxiously bounced your leg on the ground at an impressive rate of speed.

You look at your phone, and it’s blank. It’s 16:15 and the halls are nearly empty, as most of the students have already left the school. Fuck. Where is he??? You look around you for the thousandth time today and you finally lock eyes with him.

“Hyunjin!!” You practically lunged yourself at him and clung onto his arm, letting out a sigh of relief that you didn’t know you were holding in. “Jinnie I missed you so much I was worried sick! Why weren’t you responding to my texts?” You interrogated in a slightly joking manner but at he did was stare at you with a blank expression and shove you off of him as you lost your balance and tumbled back, only to leave you stunned.

“Fuck outta here.” He scoffed and continued on walking as you stood there, shocked at what just happened. All you could do was stare at the back of his head, watching his figure slowly walking away.

What the fuck?

March 19, 2020 - 19:30.

“Maybe something happened and got him in a really bad mood? BUT EVEN SO, that’s no excuse to be rude to you, and especially not to swear at you!!” You were at Chuu’s house now, and you had explained to her what happened and what Hyunjin did to you after school. Just then, you hear a notification go off on your phone, and you immediately go to check if it was Hyunjin who texted you, only to be let down after seeing that it was Heeseung who texted.

“Why won’t he even text me?” You sniffled and covered your face as more tears ran down. “We’ve never had trouble communicating what was going on in our lives before. Why now??”

Chuu immediately wraps you into a tight hug and pats your head. “Maybe he’s really stressed you know? I don’t blame you for feeling frustrated and upset about this because I would feel this way too, but Hyunjin loves you so much Y/N. There’s no doubt about it, and he’ll come around eventually so you two could talk things out. But for right now, let’s call the rest over, okay? Sleepover at my house!!” Chuu smiled the brightest she could to cheer you up, and you choked out a small laugh and laid your head on her shoulder.

“You’re the best.”

“Of courseee~~ NOW I’M GONNA TEXT THE GROUP CHAT SO WE COULD ALL HANG OUT!”

March 20, 2020 - 06:45.

Waking up to the sunlight shining on your face, you found yourself trapped between Seungmin and Chaewon’s arms, with Jeongin and Jisung sleeping at the bottom of your feet. The sight was…. interesting but it made you laugh to yourself a bit. No matter how weird and chaotic they are, there’s no doubt that they all love and care for one another like blood. You carefully slid out of your friends’ arms and reached for your phone for the time, but mostly to check if Hyunjin texted. It was morning time now, and still no texts or calls from your boyfriend. You can feel yourself starting to cry again, tears threatening to fall from your eyes as you walk yourself to Chuu’s bathroom to splash cold water on your face. Closing and locking the door behind you, you give your face a gentle wash. You turn your phone on again just to admire the candid picture you took of Hyunjin during one of the many arcade dates you guys went on. You smile a sad smile, looking at the picture fondly.

I hope he’s willing to talk to me today, it’s his birthday after all.

Despite him ignoring you, you decide to still send him a Happy Birthday text anyway, you love him after all, and you guys will overcome this.

Knock knock knock.

“Y/N you in there???” It was Seungmin, though he tried to keep his voice down so as to not wake the others up, you were still able to tell that his voice was laced with worry and urgency. The last thing you wanted was someone to be worried about you right now, so you stood up and opened the door for him with a smile that didn’t reach your eyes.

“Yeah, I’m okay. I think I’m gonna skip school today though.” You spoke in a soft but raspy voice as Seungmin slowly nodded in acknowledgment.

“Well if that’s the case, then I’m skipping too. No way in hell I’m gonna let you be by yourself. I trust you to be alone, but I just don’t want you to even FEEL alone.” He held your hands and wrapped an arm around your shoulder.

“Hyunjin’s being a little hardheaded and stubborn right now, but I know he loves you. We all know he loves you. HELL, even people who don’t know him could just observe the way he looks at you, and they would know that he loves you. So don’t be too sad alright? Not only does Hyunjin love you, but so do we.” He pinched your cheek as you whined and laughed for him to stop, alerting the others that you two were awake.

“Huh…. What time is it…” Jeongin mumbles sleepily and rubs his eyes, while the rest slowly wake up one by one.

“Me and Y/Nnie here aren’t going to school today. Are you guys gonna be losers and go to school or will you be cool and stay back with us?” Seungmin raised an eyebrow with an expecting look while Chuu, Jeongin, Jisung, and Chaewon shared a look before smiling.

“HELL YEAH LET’S SKIP!!!”

March 20, 2020 - 18:30.

You were nervous, to say the least. Here you were dressed up with the rest of your friends stepping foot in Hyunjin’s house. You were supposed to take part in the group that surprises him when he comes home, but you didn’t feel confident enough to face him yet. How could you feel confident? There was something wrong between the two of you and you weren’t sure of what it was. And you weren’t even sure if HE wanted to face YOU. He hadn’t responded to your happy birthday text, so you could imagine that he’s still upset, for whatever unknown reason, but you’re putting your foot down. You’re going to ask him what’s going on today. You looked around in hopes of finding Hyunjin amidst the crowd, and luck happened to be on your side today because there he was, staring right at you. Even if he was ignoring you, he couldn’t stop himself from admiring your beauty. Even after you guys made eye contact, he didn’t look away, so you did. You looked at Seungmin as he nodded and patted your head before giving you a thumbs up. “You’ve got this!” He encourages and pushes you towards the birthday boy.

The closer you get to him and the more steps you take, the more you feel uneasy and queasy about it. His eyes were still on you, never leaving, and you felt small under his gaze. It’s hard to read his emotions right now. Is he mad? Upset? Why is his expression so blank??? You finally stopped right in front of him as he looked down on you, waiting for you to say something. Yet, the longer you look at his face, the more noticeable his eyebags are and how bloodshot his eyes are.

“Happy Birthday Jinnie. Have you slept?” You asked with genuine concern, lifting your hand to his cheek and stroking it in a gentle manner, and you could almost feel him melt into your touch before he pulled your hand away, his gaze sharpening.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.” Hyunjin clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth to make a tch sound and rolled his eyes, and that was when you decided that was enough.

“Hyunjin I really don’t understand what’s going on. I love you and I care for you and I want to be there for you when you need it. You always let me before, why won’t you let me now??” You exhaled, frustration and sadness evident in your voice, and for a second, you felt his attitude falter. And for a second, he just wanted to fall back into your arms and pull you into his embrace. For a second, he wants to pull you in for a kiss and tell you how much he loves you and beg you to stay with him, but he can’t. So he shakes the feeling away, ignoring the heartache he’s feeling in his chest.

“I already know, you don’t need to play dumb.” He shrugs and it upsets you even more. Why is he being so nonchalant about this?? And what is he even talking about?

“I don’t know what you’re talking about? So please just make it clear to me because I want to fix this, fix us. I don’t know what I did but I would do anything to fix it.” You held his hand and pleaded, bringing his hand to your chest. “Please tell me what’s going on Hyunjin.”

The two of you managed to grab the attention of a few people, who then started whispering and watching what was going on, and Hyunjin noticed. He couldn’t embarrass himself in front of all these people and take you back, especially not on his birthday.

“Bullshit. You know what you did so stop playing innocent Y/N. You’re a piece of shit and I regret ever dating you.” He spat out as your eyes widened in shock, then welling up in tears.

“This,” Hyunjin points at you and then at him in a continuous motion, “was a mistake. You were never worth my time and I can’t believe I wasted 2, nearly 3 years of my life on somebody like you. I wonder just how long you managed to hide it from me.” He scoffed and began walking away from you, just like he had done yesterday. You could hear your friends calling your name and tugging on your arm, motioning for you to just leave it at that, but you tuned them out. Then, with tears spilling down your face, you caught up with Hyunjin and spun him around to get him to look at you, and it worked. You were unable to read what he was feeling when he saw you as a mess, but what he felt didn’t matter anymore. If he wants to paint you as an asshole, then you’ll be the asshole.

The loud slap that you gave him in front of everyone echoed through the house as you threw the gift you got him for his birthday at his chest. “Happy fucking birthday Hwang.” You spoke through your teeth before turning your back on him and walking out, never looking back.

Hyunjin held his blushing cheek and winced before picking up the gift that you had gotten for him. It was in a small velvet box with a note stuck inside of it. Opening the box revealed a silver heart-shaped locket that held a picture that was taken during their very first date. He gulped and closed the locket back up before turning his attention to the note. It wasn’t a big note that was in there. In fact, it was really small, only being able to hold the words ‘Thank you for showing me that I’m capable of being loved! I’ll always love you Jinnie!’ and Hyunjin’s teardrop right next to it.

a/n: ummm… sorry guys i’m a little iffy on this one LOL. as you can see… i’m not the type to write angst i’m not very good at it HAHA. anywaysss i think this chapter made it more clear as to what hyunjin thinks y/n did, but i didn’t wanna spoil his EXACT thought processing yet! i’m sure most of you guys are smart enough to figure it out tho lololol

𝜗𝜚 WTK series masterlist

TAGLIST (OPEN)! @jeonginplsholdmyhand @jeonginsgirl @mlrroh @mafiulaputaama @seungzsmin @hannie-bees @skz1lov @porang-poranglinos @sillyhal @mitchii @nessas-archive @soulphoenix1618

if your blog was italicized, it means i wasn’t able to tag you :’(

[whimperaudioconnoisseur]

had the thought that maybe i’m a bad dominant because lately i’ve been very tired and busy, so our dynamic has relied heavily on the routines we’ve set up, as opposed to me coming up with new and exciting tasks and activities. i communicated this thought to my sub, as one does. perhaps unsurprisingly it was just brainworms; i haven’t been a bad dominant for relying on the routines a little bit. in fact, part of the purpose of the routines is to care for the dynamic in ways that are less mentally taxing.

i very much look forward to less busy times and having energy for new and exciting tasks and activities! but there’s nothing wrong with having fluctuations in how much energy you have available to put into your power exchange. and as usual, communication is queen.

[sentientgolfball]

Mushy May: Hand Holding + Let Me Take Care of You

surprise surprise it's more Zephrit. What can I say I love them, your honor. Also this is more let me take care of you than hand holding but it is still there

Word Count: 1606

Rain had been pounding against the stained glass windows of the Ministry all day. There hadn’t been a glimpse of sunlight from the time Zephyr woke. The intensity of the droplets would fluctuate, but it never stopped. The fireplaces were lit all throughout the ancient building in an attempt to keep warm. The spring weather has been lovely so far, but today was reminiscent of the chill that settles late in the year. 

Zephyr hated it. 

The storm gave them a surge of energy, sure, but what was the point when they still felt nothing but pain? They wanted nothing more than to dash outside with the air and water ghouls, let off a little elemental steam, but every joint in their body felt ready to pop with even the slightest of movements. They can’t help but think about how cruel it is that they were cursed with a body that crumbles in their element while gazing out the common room window. 

They watched the others in the courtyard; running and playing and letting out bursts of built-up elemental magick. They longed to join them. They watched Cumulus manipulate the clouds above. They could feel every time Cirrus used a gust of air to knock over one of the water ghouls. It stung like nothing else to not be out there. They were the one that showed her that trick. Their eyes drifted across the grounds, opting to focus on the little school of water ghouls. Rain was out there. They saw him with River, floating on their backs in the lake while the sky poured. A small part of Zephyr almost wished Rain wouldn’t have been with the others; a horrible hope that Rain would be aching just as much as they are. It makes them feel awful, they know Rain struggles just as much as they do, even so they can’t help it. Maybe they wouldn’t have felt so alone if he had been. 

They’re momentarily torn away from the depths of their mind when the heavy door to the ghoul den creaks open. A blast of warmth follows and Zephyr relaxes just a bit. 

“Hey birdie,” Ifrit’s deep voice calls. 

They don’t acknowledge him. Part of them is glad Ifrit showed up, he’d be able to quiet the voice in their head and the ache of their body. The other part wanted to wallow in their own misery, the air ghoul whose body is too broken to exist in their own damn element. What a waste. It’s amazing they weren’t just thrown back to the Pits when Cirrus and Cumulus were summoned. What use were they with two new air ghouls? 

“Come back to me Zeph.” 

They’re shaken out of their thoughts when a warm hand rests on their knees. Ifrit is crouched in front of them, body blocking their view of the courtyard. There’s a slight pinch between his eyebrows but the rest of his face is nothing but softness. Zephyr blinks slowly at him, pulling themselves into the present. They reach out to cup his cheek. Their movements are shaky and stiff and Ifrit sighs seeing the grimace flash across their face. 

He kisses their palm, “Have you eaten yet?” 

They shrug, humming noncommittally. Ifrit has told them time and time again he’s more than happy to help when they need it, still, Zephyr doesn’t want to admit they need it. It was their problem to deal with; they didn’t need to drag anyone else into it. Ifrit just sighs, kisses their palm again and stands. Before Zephyr knows what’s happening they’re being lifted. 

“Ifrit, what are you? Put me down!” 

“Not a chance birdie” he smiles at them “You and I both know sitting in that chair all day is going to make tomorrow worse.” 

He’s right. Zephyr knows he’s right. Sitting at the window, letting the cold seep into their body would only harm. Watching the other ghouls enjoy what they couldn’t would ruin their mood until it was warm and sunny again. But they wanted it. They wanted to have some semblance of connection to the other ghouls out absorbing their elements. Though even if they wanted to protest they couldn’t. Their legs ache too much to think about slinging them down and walking right back over to the window. The warmth radiating off of Ifrit didn’t help either. It was too enticing to stay in his hold, letting his fire soothe every ailment. 

Instead, they opted for hissing at him. Grumbling the entire walk from the common room to their shared bedroom. 

“Yeah I know I’m such an asshole” he teases. 

Once inside, Ifrit sits them down on the bed. He presses a loving kiss right between their horns before walking into the bathroom. Zephyr can see him sniffing at soaps and salts from their peripherals as the sound of running water fills the otherwise quiet room. Curse Ifrit and his caring nature. It’s hard to feel miserable when a big dumb fire ghoul won’t leave you be. 

“Bath is ready birdie!” He calls. 

Zephyr doesn’t stand. Doesn’t even look at him when Ifrit pops his head back into the bedroom. They have their cane they could make it the short distance to the bathroom, but they don’t. Stepping into that bath feels like giving up, giving in. Like they truly were admitting they couldn’t handle their own element. But Ifrit is a pillar of patience. He waits silently watching them until they sigh and nod ever so slightly. He rushes over to take their hand, helping them stand and walk to the bathroom. 

He digs around the cabinets for a bottle of shampoo while they get undressed. Zephyr can smell the fragrance emanating off the water and it is divine. The vanilla and lavender scent break down the fight in their body even more. Still they try to hold onto it, clinging to it like salvation. Even so, Zephyr dips a clawed toe into the water. They hiss, jumping just a little with how hot it is before sinking their whole foot into it. They step into the bath slowly, letting their body get acclimated to the change in temperature. They can’t help the groan that slips out when they’re fully submerged. 

Ifrit sits next to the rub, sleeves rolled up past his elbows. Zephyr flicks water at him with their tail. 

“Gonna have to try harder than that if you want me gone” he laughs “Let me wash your hair. Let me take care of you birdie.” 

“You’re an annoyance” There’s no real venom to their words. The hot water seeped everything out of them. 

They lean closer to him, letting him take their hair out of its bun. He runs his claws through it, careful not to tug on any tangles. He cups his hand over their eyes so he can wet their hair. He does his best to avoid soaking the feathers on their neck while he works. He presses another kiss to their forehead before uncapping the bottle and squinting some shampoo onto his hand. It's Zephyr’s favorite. The one that smells like lemongrass and rosemary. The one that reminds them of the day they fell in love with Ifrit. 

He scrubs their hair gently, claws scratching against their scalp. He takes his time with it until all the tension melts from their face and a crackling purr vibrates in their chest. 

“Love it when you sing for me birdie.” 

“Mmm mention it again and I’ll cut out your tongue.”

He laughs pressing a kiss to the corner of their mouth “You wouldn’t. You like my tongue too much.” 

Zephyr cracks open an eye to give him a questioning look. Ifrit smiles, leaning into rub their noses together before capturing them in a proper kiss. They break for just a moment before Zephyr leans forward to quickly peck him on the lips. They settle back into a comfortable silence as Ifrit washes the soap from their hair. Zephyr feels floaty by the time Ifrit pulls them from the tub. He dries them off, wrapping them up in a fluffy robe. 

Zephyr immediately goes to the bed to curl up under the thick blankets. Ifrit sends a quick text to Swiss first, asking him to bring dinner to their room whenever he’s done with it. He throws his phone onto the nightstand before crawling in behind Zephyr and pulling them tight against his chest. He lets his fire curl up to the surface, keeping warmth seeping into them for as long as they need. He traces the edge of their feathered ear, watching it twitch and flutter against the touch. 

He loves being able to see Zephyr like this. Relaxed and vulnerable. It makes his heart swell knowing he’s the one who they go soft for. 

“You’re staring” they state. 

“How can you even tell, you’re practically asleep.” 

“I can feel it.” 

“Can’t help it” he picks up one of their hands, lacing their fingers together. 

He brings their intertwined hands up to his lips, pressing kisses across Zephyr’s knuckles. With each little kiss, he pushes more warmth into them, soothing the aching joints of their fingers. He kisses the top of their hand before settling. He doesn’t let go though, keeping them together while he watches Zephyr fall asleep. He stays wrapped up with them until Swiss brings dinner. Even then he doesn’t move right away. He already knows every line, every feather and wrinkle of their face, even so he looks. Memorizing every single detail once again. Every time he gets to do this he falls in love all over again. 

[lorelune]

(cw: brat reader, self destructive reader, asphyxiation, minor gojo satoru x reader, past satosugu, implied yandere getou suguru if you squint, dark content if you squint)

getou suguru is going to kill you.

it's your first thought when you walk onto the grounds of his compound. when you feel the barrier ebb and shake, your technique rendering it useless for just a moment. a clear, noticeable cut you've left him.

'i'm back, baby.' it says. it's a siren song for someone with a temper like his.

you don't bother going to the main building. you splay out on a bench nearby, light a cigarette, and wait. suck down smoke and let it billow in the cold. you leave your pack and lighter next to you, and offer it with an open palm the moment getou suguru graces you with his presence.

"honored and revered one," you praise, voice sickly sweet. you stand and bow, cigarette high as you head goes low. "would you do me the honor of sharing a smoke?"

"i thought you'd left."

"hm?" you ask, a cheeky smile tugging at the corner of your lips. you light his cigarette. "whatever do you mean?"

he takes a drag, an odd thing to see when he's in his full monk get up. "you disappeared."

"i had work to do."

"'work'?" suguru's expression twist, something venomous lighting his eyes. "you hardly do work around our precious home— what dragged you off so far?"

you feel his cursed energy thrum. the angry loud kind that makes blood speed in your veins. you want to eat him whole.

"well." you smile a viper's grin. "satoru gojo still has my number. he got drunk. booty-called me. and i answered."

"did you now?" his smile feels wicked at the corners. you revel in it. "satoru doesn't drink."

"he does, actually. apparently he has a tradition of getting shit-faced on his ex's birthday." the cherry burns close to the filter. you're sure getou won't mind if you indulge in another. "and... yesterday was february third."

the silence of the compound is deafening. you swear even the tree birds have gone quiet in the hills, the river song silenced even as getou suguru stares you up. you imagine he's pondering whether or not to kill you.

"sorry to pick up your scraps." you light another, exhale in his face. "you've been busy lately, dear. i got bored."

"bored?" he laughs, cackles. there's cracks around the edges of him, you revel in them. what you wouldn't give to crack him in your own hands. "fucking an old bedmate of mine is how you satiate such a feeling?"

"absolutely." you want to split him.

suguru's cursed energy fluctuates, so quickly you don't have a chance to try and sidestep or avoid him.

"must i keep you on fucking leash for you to behave?"

a whip-like cursed, thin and covered in eyes, flicks and cuts the air. it wraps around your throat and you dare not to touch it. you can feel the poison of its half-flesh already seeping into you.

"really?" you ask, voice breaking. "isn't this excessive? i pwomise i won't ever fuck your ex behind your back again. though, satoru did seem pretty hurt, still, and i think he'd be down for a three-way—"

the cursed tightens and drags you down in to the ground. your knees hit pavement and you don't even have the air to spit an insult at suguru. always so childishly physical with his reprimands. your grin hardly wavers the curse drags you forward, on your knees at his feet.

suguru's expression is unreadable. you like that you've stumped him. rubbed at wound that isn't new or raw, not even festering, just healed wrong. the glee of it is exhiliharing.

he holds the cigarette to your lips and you take a drag.

"it would do you well to learn some manners, i suppose." getou sighs and exhales a lungful of smoke into your face. "if you'd like to paw for scraps like a dog, then i'll treat you like one."

he grabs a fistful of your hair, pain sparking at your scalp and you wheeze out a laugh.

"as if you don't already treat me like your l-lapdog already." your words break at the end, vision wavering at the edges.

you enjoy this too much, probably. getou suguru is a well-veiled man and finding his weak points has become your mission in your time within 'his family'. your technique is indispensable to him, both of you know it, and thus you know you have more rope than the rest of your 'kin'. you use it well. poke him. prod him.

force him to expend a curse on you, just to get you on your knees. the power you wield over him makes you dizzy. the ability you have to get under his skin is yours alone, and both of you know it. you think he hates you for it sometimes. sometimes, you think its why he loves you.

you know, later, you'll regret such thoughts. you'll be sore and aching and unable to sit properly and you'll wonder if it was a good idea to return to the compound while still dripping with the cum of jujutsu world's god. you'll consider that, perhaps, you've pushed getou suguru too hard.

you suppose, as suguru presses his lips to yours, bites at your lip until you're bleeding— it's best to save your regret. suguru is the most fun when he's angry, wounded in a way that he couldn't possibly be sane about.

so instead, you let him lick the blood from your lips, suck in air when the leash lets up (just enough)— if you've truly pisses getou suguru off enough to have him consider ending your life, you might as well enjoy the high of it.

[zebulontheplanet]

I get a lot of curious people wondering what my day to day life is like. Wondering why it differs from a low support needs person. I would like to preface by saying that my support needs themselves although are medium support needs, my needs fluctuate depending on my catatonia, mental health, physical health, etc. My support needs are complex. Please keep in mind that my support needs are on the low end of medium support needs. I will be answering some questions as well at the end.

Everyday looks different. Most days I’m trapped in bed for the majority of the day, some days I’m able to get up and walk around or go places. But, Here’s what a more typical day looks like for me at the moment.

I wake up, and lay in bed for a few hours, I usually scroll through tumblr, TikTok, or discord. I eventually remember to take my medication, and I take it in bed. I am almost completely independent with medication. I eventually get a pain reminder and eventually get up to use the bathroom and try and start my day if I’m not experiencing catatonia at that moment. I usually experience catatonia in the afternoon because I need to start tasks and so I freeze up so getting up to use the bathroom or start my day is very hard and usually takes me hours.

I then come back to bed and lay back down for a few hours. Later into the afternoon, I eventually wonder downstairs and bother my mother. She eventually makes me food if I ask or helps me make it. If I don’t have the spoons to ask or make food then I simply don’t eat. After eating, or not eating and just bugging my mother for a bit, I wonder back upstairs and back into bed. I usually lay in bed for the rest of the day scrolling through TikTok or tumblr, or discord. I talk to friends and my boyfriend throughout the day.

Later in the evening, I eventually get up again if I’m not experiencing catatonia again and don’t need prompting to get up, and walk back downstairs to bother my sisters or my parents. I eat dinner that my family cooks usually. I eventually get bored after dinner and go back to bed and spend the rest of my night there.

Some days are easier than others. Some days I take a walk with my family, some days I go out to the store with my family, some days all I do is lay in bed staring blankly at a wall. It really depends. This is just how my life looks more recently.

Some questions:

Who makes phone calls for you?: for now? I make my own phone calls with prompting and help making a script. However, due to recently starting to lose my voice more and more, that might have to change.

Who cooks meals for you? Do you make your own meals?: For now, my mother or my father makes about 99% of my meals. I can make simple things with prompting and help but usually don’t waste my energy doing it.

Do you have a job? What do you do with your day?: Most of my days are spent in bed or with family. I don’t work.

Can you bathe yourself?: This is actually something I’ve been consistently working on. The short answer? Yes. I can bathe myself. I just need again, prompting. Need lots of prompting. Grooming? That’s a different story.

What things can’t you do?: I can’t do most ADLs independently, I need help with virtually everything in some way. So cooking, cleaning, calling places, etc. I also need help with bathing and general grooming (brushing teeth, hair, clipping nails, etc)

How often do you use AAC?: As of lately? I talk maybe 10? 20%? of the time. I use aac in the house and outside the house. Outside the house I use aac a good 99% of the time, the other 1% I just do simple yes or no questions. Unless with friends then it’s a bit more of a conversation. In the house I either use aac, a mixture of very small conversation and sentences, or yes or no answers. My speech is very unreliable. Some days are good and I can talk a bit more than usual, and some days I can talk virtually nothing at all. Everyday though, I still struggle with speech in some way.

What activities do you do? What do you do for fun?: virtually nothing. I’m working on getting hobbies but I really struggle with hobbies due to catatonia and executive dysfunction. Hobbies have just never been my thing. I usually read, or write. I love writing.

I hope this helps give some insight and any questions or comments are welcome. I know there’s more I’m leaving out, but this has been what a general day in my life looks like lately. It’s hard. My support needs are getting more, and I’m needing more support. However, I’m taking it one day at a time.

[aether-starlight]

Lovely - Xavier

Pairing: Xavier x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of grief and kitchen fires.

Summary:  After you begin spending more time with Xavier, you strike a deal.

Word Count: 1.6 K

Note: This is my first time writing Xavier, I'm still getting a hold on his personality and voice tbh. Hope this is not too oc.

You liked your job. Loved it, even. 

It was also the main reason why you had very little life outside of hunting. 

When Grandma and Caleb had passed, you had felt incredibly bitter about it. Extra hours, missions outside of the city, late nights studying, the list went on.

It all seemed so insignificant compared to the time you could have spent with them, rather than being a hunter.

Now they were gone, and people seemed to avoid you on principle. Whispers about the connection between your profession and the unfortunate fate of your family followed you, so they preferred to stay away. 

Even fellow hunters remained away, with Tara being a blissful exception.

But there were only so many days off you could hang around with Tara without feeling like an imposition, which led you to hang out with the next person who didn’t seem to be phased by your reputation of a bad luck charm: Xavier.

Your hunter partner.

You really couldn’t escape your job even if you tried.

“Maybe I’m not likable,” you had mumbled to yourself, sitting on Xavier’s snug, worn-out couch. 

It was beige, spotless despite its age, only noticeable in the softened texture and armrests colored in a lighter shade from years of limbs brushing against them.

Xavier laughed, and on anyone else, it might have sounded cruel, but in the gentle baritone of his voice, it felt warm, intimate even.

“Who wouldn’t like you? You’re lovely.”

He said it as if commenting on the weather, something obvious and not embarrassing at all to mention. If you were him, your cheeks would have been aflame before even opening your mouth.

Because you had thought about it. 

He was lovely too. 

His tousled hair and bleary eyes so late in the morning made your heartbeat quicken, something fluttering in your stomach, similar to the feeling when an energy fluctuation surged.

Xavier laughed again, this time coming closer to you, dish in hand as he bent down to look into your eyes.

“Oh my, you’re redder than the tomato sauce I made for you.”

“How do you expect me to react when you say such things so easily?” You complained, unable not to smile back as soon as his lips curled, a flash of perfect teeth.

He had a great smile, you thought, contagious.

“It’s the truth. Now, eat up before it gets cold.”

“Bossy,” you teased, already digging into the tousled eggs with spinach and a delicious homemade sauce on top.

“I wouldn’t say that,” he chided gently, setting his plate at a low table in front of the sofa, sitting by your side. “I’m just looking out for your health.”

“And the integrity of your apartment?” You joked.

It wasn’t the first time you ate together. 

After visiting to find out more about your Aether Core, and then running into each other at The Nest, you had started hanging out outside of work. 

It started with borrowed books, truth or dare, a night watching the stars, then occasional movie nights.

Then your relationship experienced a drastic evolution when you accidentally activated the fire alarm of your whole floor because of a bowl of fried rice gone wrong—on fire—, and he offered for you to cook together. 

At first, you were not sure why he had even proposed it in the first place, but then you realized he was another God of destruction in the kitchen. Turned out that two wrongs could make one right, as incidents decreased considerably once it was both of you cooking.

Now it was a sort of ritual for you, to have breakfast together on your days off. 

“What are you thinking about?” Xavier asked, propping his elbow on the table and resting his cheek against his hand. 

Sunlight burst from his window, half hidden by an ocre curtain, just enough to highlight his eyes and the bridge of his nose. Reflections from the relic he used as a teapot littered the walls, yellow against copper.

Everything about his home felt cozy, warm…safe. 

Meanwhile, there were piles of boxes still unopened in your apartment. 

You had recently moved in when the explosion turned your world upside down. You had been supposed to open them with Caleb that weekend.

Now it didn’t seem of much importance. Not if you couldn’t do it with him.

“How do you make your apartment look so…homely?” 

The question was blurted out of you, and you instantly felt stupid for needing to formulate it in the first place.

Xavier’s eyebrows raised, chopsticks halfway to his mouth, caught off guard. 

“Make it look homely?” He pondered, food lowering back onto his plate.

Another thing you liked about Xavier? 

He was deliberate about things, every detail mattered, and he knew there were answers not worth rushing on. 

“I just…buy things I enjoy. Something that makes me feel happy to look at. That reminds me of…” he trailed off, a crease surging between his eyebrows.

You didn’t push. You had known him long enough to realize that once he shut down it was final, and even if he did answer, it was always elusive and hard to believe.

Instead, your focus drifted back to his initial statements.

You supposed it made sense. His apartment felt like sunlight. All warm and light tones, plush surfaces, and rows of books carefully organized upon oak bookshelves. 

Vintage furniture and artifacts were littered in a way that was both organized and stylish. A forest green vinyl player at the corner of the room, a mysterious wooden chest beside it. 

It was lived in.

The curtains of your apartment were always closed, plunging it into darkness, and the only picture you had kept close to your bed, on your nightstand. It was a photograph of you, Grandma, and Caleb smiling by the beach. 

It had been your first family trip, and even now you could remember it vividly, the rough sand beneath your feet and humid air closing around you, even through your shorts and a t-shirt.

You had an expensive holo-projector that you never used and sofas that you had sat in enough times to be able to count with one hand. 

You had considered getting a cat but then had been deterred by the thought that it would probably feel pretty lonely, considering your frequent missions and late-night arrivals.

When you focused back on Xavier, he was already studying you. 

You imagined your face must have been quite the picture. It was something incredibly frustrating about you: everything showed on your face, from happiness to sadness, to anger. It couldn’t be helped.

“I could help you decorate. If you’d like,” he suggested suddenly, looking as if the proposal had been stuck in his throat for a while now. 

You smiled to yourself, hiding your hands between your thighs, feeling terribly seen.

“Really?”

He nodded, lips curled in that gentle smile of his. 

“Yes. It’ll be fun. Just promise me we’ll host more reunions in your apartment once it’s done.”

A surprised laugh rose from your chest.

“At my place? Why?”

He looked to the side, almost bashful.

“I would like to use your holo-projector.”

It took a second for you to correct your sudden staring. He had never struck you as someone who watched holodramas.  

“Okay. Under one condition.”

Xavier leaned forward, a silent inquiry.

“You let me train with you.” You paused, deep in thought. “At least once a week.”

Somehow, Xavier always managed to wriggle his way out of it, and you were not sure why.

It was almost ridiculous, that you were hunting partners and hadn’t trained together once. What was more ridiculous was how you were turning the situation in your favor, considering he was the one offering you aid.

“You offer a tough bargain.” He huffed, resting his shoulders back on his seat with a slight pout to his lips.  “But sure, I’ll agree under a condition of my own.”

This time it was your turn to be surprised. You pulled back in suspicion.

“I have a feeling I’m not going to like it.”

Xavier was relentless. It never failed to astound you how he could switch from lazy to laser-focused in a heartbeat.

“Show me more of what you write.” His eyes seemed to darken, eyebrows lowering. You didn’t know when he had turned his chair so he was facing you from a closer distance.

Your head shook in automatic.

“That would imply that you have read any of it already.”

“I heard your slam poetry. I liked it, it was good.”

“You’re just buttering me up,” you whined. “And it was an accident, I definitely didn’t intend for you to hear it.”

He tilted his head, finding your gaze like a lost puppy. It seemed that he was pulling out the big guns once decisiveness hadn’t worked.

“Please?” He had leaned forward so you were watching him from above, an aggravating strand of blond hair out of place, the tips of his bangs too close to his lashes.

Before you could think any better of it, you brushed them back, fingers grazing his ear as you set it in place. 

The strands were soft and reminded you of a nighttime story someone used to read to you, about a prince and a fox.

He leaned into your touch, lips parted. 

Your fingers dug into the silky strands, easing out a knot.

He didn’t relent, celestine irises trailing after your movement, and your fingers trembled. It may not have seemed like it, but you were the prey in this scenario.

“Fine,” you breathed out, feeling lightheaded. “It’s a deal.”

He smiled, something playful flickering in his gaze. At that moment he was too pretty for his own good.

“Now, it’s your turn to do the dishes.”

You groaned, your daze broken in favor of dread.