#and i have felt like shit multiple times and still didn���t call out but my immune system has evidently had enough rn

[dontasktheradiodemon]

Tide Pools (1/6/2021)

Click here if you’re like “What the heck is this about?”

Alastor and Angel Dust @sluttyspiderpolkacock (and the same adorable baby featured here) hang out around a tide pool. Angel shares (with some coaxing) some of his worries re: Valentino following this little incident, and Alastor brainstorms with Angel possible ways to keep him safe—from adjusting his contract with Valentino to fleeing Pentagram City to getting an effective weapon that could take Valentino down a peg.

And the baby eats a crab.

(This is also where Angel gets access to the holy water that he uses here.)

Alastor

At long last, Alastor had finally gotten antsy enough to pull out his bathing suit and meander down to the beach to explore it properly. He’d found a little path right next to the ocean in the shade of the estate, and it had some tide pools he’d been examining with interest.

Unfortunately, being in the shade like this and having his arms and legs exposed to the breeze for the first time in decades meant he was chillier than he’d planned on. Detached from Hell as he currently was, he didn’t want to waste his energy warming himself. He wished he’d foregone the bathing suit and kept his coat...

Something billowy covered him up from above.

He jumped up and flipped it off with a startled trumpet sound effect, identified it as a coat, looked around, looked up, and looked back at the coat. Sure, that’d do.

He pulled it on, folded up the cuffs so they didn’t dangle over his hands, tied the two spare sleeves around his waist like a sash, and crouched down to study the tide pool again.

Angel

As the damned thing flew out of his sight, Angel gradually felt the ability to breathe return to his control. Deep breaths now. He could stay with Seapup a little longer. Gently, he threaded those chubby limbs through his spindly claws and pulled him to his fluff to warm him. Happy thoughts now... little sleepy Veci burbles... waves crashing against the rocks - - -

**And a loud, sudden TRUMPET.**

Pelagios started to stir. Then, mouth scrunched up before all four eyes popped open, he began to cry.

" _OHNONONOOO!_ " Angel cooed with a gather of the orange ball into his arms, " It's ok! I'm here! I'm SORRY, MIO BAM_BINO!_ Back ta sleep? Can ya sleep? Fa me? C'mon, let's go back to sleep. " He then rolled to his side and got up to pace the room, lightly bouncing and swaying the baby Veci to try and get him to calm. " Water? Ya wanna see the water, Baby? Yeah? Ok, let's go see what the jazz band's all about, ok? "

Smiling and making faces, Angel made his way to the balcony and perched himself over the edge to give Pelagios a taste of the sea air. With a little swaying and some light humming, it seemed to work long enough for Angel to let himself peruse the view. Sea... sands... sunlight like glitter over the waves... tidepools...

" ... Alastor? " Catching sight of a figure wearing Valentino's coat almost gave him a HEART ATTACK, but piecing together the features of his local Radio Demon pulled the biggest sigh of relief from deepest recesses of his lungs. " What'cha doin' down there in... that? "

Alastor

Alastor looked up. "Oh, hello! I thought I remembered this coat! I think the better is question is what is *this* doing down here with *me*?" He straightened up. Check out that snazzy 1920s swimsuit. Complete with skirt. "I appreciate that it didn't have *you* in it this time, but how many times do you plan to assault me with this coat?"

Angel

" _As many times as it takes fa ya t' learn ya lesson,_ " he teased darkly before laughing and shaking his head, " They were both accidents! Like this one! _Say ' hi ' to Uncle Alastor ~_ " Angel then tilted little Pelagios towards him. Too sleepy to do much more than yawn, Angel wagged a finger beneath his paw to mimic a wave. " I was just, uh, swingin' around. Practicin' m'coat flingin'. Y'know, job stuff! And got a lil' carried away! "

His ability to lie was getting worse and worse. He couldn't even look him in the eye and instead smiled off into the sky.

" Suits ya, though! Just ya color an' e'rythin'. Go ahead an' keep an eye on it so it doesn't get the better a ya again, yeah? "

Alastor

"Unfortunately for us all, I'm utterly incorrigible! You'll have to spent the whole trip pelting me with clothing."

*Uncle Alastor.* He wasn't sure he liked the sound of that when it was in reference to some stranger's baby. But he endured it with grace and dignity.

"Coat flinging. Really." Do you hear his skepticism. "I suppose there's a precise technique to it, is it. Minute differences in the wrist flick that communicate different forms of sexual desirability."

Angel

" Yeah! Totally! Look. " Perfectly balanced upon the railing, Angel extended a limp wrist and an immaculately straight leg in a striking pose. " _Queer..._ " He then shifted into bent arms and legs. Reek that raw masculinity. " _Drinks nothin' but beer!_ "

In a fit of laughter, he drew his knees back together and tossed his chin to the sky. Pelagios didn't seem to find it worth acknowledging, but Angel thought he was hilarious and doing an _exceptional_ job.

" Dunno what I was goin' for, but it did _somethin'_, didn' it? Look at'cha, all cozy ~ " He then leaned over his knees with the sincerest espression since the start of the conversation. " So ya just out explorin' ? "

Alastor

Uh-huh. Alastor kept giving Angel a skeptical look. "And I suppose you do many shows where you're called upon to strip while acting as aggressively heterosexual as possible."

He perked up at the question. "Yes! I found crabs!" He pointed at the tide pool. "They look *exactly* like Earth crabs."

Angel

" I used t' be a HIT at bachelorette parties, MIND YA! " he insisted snarkily before swiveling his hips off the balcony and dropping down, a slumbering Seapup still in tow. He then walked up to the pools and copped a curious squat.

" Oh shit, y'ain't kiddin'... " Angel mused with a lean almost too far. Perhaps the scent of fresh food riled him, as Pelagios _immediately_ bounded off his chest and dove straight for a crab. Eyes blew wide and multiple sets of arms flailed in a panic to keep him from falling in and dampening his fluff.

Alastor

An announcer’s recorded voice rang out, “*And they’re off!*” Ding ding ding! A crowd roared in excitement! Alastor leaned in to watch the seapup go after the crabs. Angel can look after himself, this is way more interesting.

Angel

Angel scanned the contents of the pool with hawk - like precision. Nothing seemed too nefarious, especially not up against Pelagios happily burbling on fresh crab guts, triumphantly circling the pool on his back like an otter. He exhaled his held breath and fell back.

" Jesus fucking christ... " he wheezed, " He was OUT COLD all but TWO SECONDS AGO! " Oh he is _BEAT._

Alastor

“Look at him taking his victory lap! What a champion!” Alastor leaned forward to grin down at the seapup. “You’re a vicious little killer, aren’t you? Well done!” If he had been worried for Pelagios’s safety, he sure wasn’t showing it.

Angel

A big, grinning face! The little veci copied it as best as his his little jaws could and propelled his tail towards Alastor's perch. He knew praise when he heard it and was beginning to learn that sharing was caring. So he offered a couple legs, waving them both in his chubby paws like flags.

Alastor

"Is that for me!" He plucked the legs out of seapup's hands. "Why, thank you very much! Quite hospitable of you." He offered one to Angel and crunched down straight on the other, like some kind of freak who eats crab shells, Alastor what's wrong with you. "I hope these aren't toxic! Want one?"

Angel

Angel peered over his fluff and sat up just as Pelagios turned tail to playfully harass another crustacean of some sort. " The fuck're you - ? " He rose a brow but nonetheless took the crab leg and started taking it apart. " Ya... supposed t' eat the fuckin' SHELL? It'd be a lil easier to think you can chomp on, uh, GRASS, but crab shells?? Ya can TAKE THAT?  "

Alastor

“You’re not *supposed* to, no. But it’s very satisfying!” Crunch, crunch, crunch. Enrichment. “... I probably shouldn’t swallow it, though.” Don’t mind him as he spits the pieces back out. Never take this man to a fancy restaurant.

Angel

He laughed out loud. " Yeah? Ya THINK? " he responded through giggles, half teasing, half validating. He then pulled the meat and returned the shell so Alastor could have his fun, " Don't choke, ok? Wouldn't wanna be givin' ya ribs another poundin' so soon. "

Alastor

“Don’t lie, you’re just waiting for another excuse!” Crunch. ... Crunch. All right, it stopped being satisfying. Once the novelty and shock value wore off, it didn’t really have much to offer. He tossed the rest of the leg into the tide pool.

Angel

" Now ya just bein' ridiculous ~ " he said dramatically with a fish through the tidepool, " I can deal a beatin' whenever I want, AND get paid t' do it. I don't NEED to be settin' anythin' up fa YOU. "

He then pulled something out. A sponge. A big one. _Definitely wider than Alastor's throat._ And a big, mischievous grin to go with it. " Bet'cha can't swallow this whole ~ " he joked with a crack of his neck as if to ready himself for the pounce.

Alastor

“Sure, but it wouldn’t be a beating for *me,* would it? It wouldn’t be half as satisfying for you!”

He eyed the sponge critically. “Hm... No, probably not!” Bait not taken. That thing didn’t look the *least* bit edible.

Angel

" Kiddin'! I was KIDDIN'! " he assured with a toss of the sponge back into the pool, " Ya really thought I was gonna shove this salty thin' down ya - ? "

And Pelagios volleyed it back, saturated with sea water. It deflated flatly against the side of his head and emptied enough water to drench him with. Hello, karma.

Alastor

The studio audience laughed obnoxiously.

Smiling politely and totally ignoring Angel's plight, he said, "No, I didn't—but I'm not putting it past you to hope I'd shove it down my *own* throat."

Angel

Angel raked his wet bangs off his face and rolled his eyes. It probably wasn't very noticible, but all eight went. " Tsk, even if ya DID call my bluff, I wouldn't 'ave LET YA. I wouldn't do ya like THAT! I wouldn' even let ya SELF, _do ya like that._ "

Alastor

“I’d like to see you try to stop me!” As a reward for misbehavior, Alastor plucked another tiny crab out of the pool and offered it to the seapup. Here, kid, you earned it.

“So! I’ve been just *dying* to find out—why the delayed arrival? Didn’t you have work?”

Angel

" That was the whole joke! " Angel exclaimed with a wringing of his hair as Pelagios happily crunched the crab and started playing with the legs.

A rich, sea breeze coursed over the pools and followed the shiver down his spine. " I did, " he said simply, " Then changed my mind. Big V didn' stop me. " Basically the truth, omitting the fact that he'd _tried_ to stop him.

Alastor

“Really? The kind of taskmaster who has his employees working on Christmas?” Alastor quirked an eyebrow. “Didn’t stop you, or didn’t have an opportunity to stop you?”

Angel

He leaned back on his hands and crossed his legs, eyes narrow and subtly flickering in his direction from the sides. " ... _Yeah - !_ " The reply came in a curt exhale. " He could'a stopped me if he wan'ed to. Ya really think I could ever get the better of a brass like 'im if he 'ad anythin' t' say about it? "

Alastor

“Now, that’s a careful question. Do I think you could get the better of him if he had something to say about it? No. Do I think you could get the better of him *without* giving him a chance to say something about it and then decide what to do when you get back? Possibly.” Alastor had been wondering about the abruptness of Angel’s arrival. And he didn’t know a lot about Valentino—had never *cared* to learn much about him—but he suspected Valentino kept a tight leash on Angel’s diet, even more strongly suspected Valentino took more than his fair share of Angel’s earnings, and didn’t-even-have-to-suspect at least a couple of the gross indignities Valentino put his own business partner/lover through.

Maybe aside from a little obsession over nutrition and garden-variety unjust wages, everything was aboveboard; but it was enough to make Alastor suspicious of the idea that Valentino would willingly let his star employee go at the last minute during an extermination.

Angel

" WELL! Ain't YOU a SMA'T COOKIE! " he growled, " If ya think ya got me all figured out already, what's the poin' a askin', huh? Like hearin' yaself TALK? Get some sorta, OFF from makin' me out t' be some BITCH? " He'd twisted in Alastor's direction and raked a claw through the natural rock they were perched upon. A deep snarl twitched over the precious metal in his mouth. It was the most direct he'd been with him since arriving. And sudden, as if Alastor had abruptly shown in a secret, sacred place of his and made him scream.

" Well I ain't - ! " And he SNEEZED over his shoulder. Cold breeze, wet fur, and his high body temperature started giving him the shakes, making his beligerence anything but threatening. Brows scrunching in annoyance, he held up a finger in pause, sneezed a couple more times, and stared blankly. " ... Fuck was I? " Train of thought? _Derailed._

Alastor

Oh, hit a nerve, had he? Very sweetly, Alastor said, “I believe you were in the process of lambasting me for implying you were someone’s b[*BEEP*].” Isn’t he helpful. “Which isn’t what I meant to imply at all! Only that the fact that you *took* a liberty doesn’t necessarily imply he willingly *gave* it!”

Alastor stood, untied his sleeve-sash, and shrugged off the coat so he could offer it back to Angel. He was wet and sneezing, he needed it more than Alastor. “I don’t think I’ve figured out anything! All I know is that you plummeted out of the ceiling and that three out of the scant four facts I know about your boss are synonyms for ‘he’s a control freak.’ The rest, I can only learn from you. I didn’t want to be so *direct* with my insinuations, but I was starting to worry that if we got much more *in*direct, I’d never solve this mystery.”

Angel

Eyes glued to the rock, Angel took the coat and threw it over his entire person like a tent. " Fine. I left wit'out permission. Ok? " he muffled from beneath the thick velvet mass, " I couldn' do another night, 'specially not that one. 'Aight? Ya satisfied wit' 'at? Ya mystery solved, Prancy Drew? "

The bump started to shrink as he drew in his knees and curled into himself. He wasn't lying when he said he thought Alastor was smart, but it started to _worry_ him how _transparent_ he really was while he strived to draw an iron curtain around his occupational ( personal ) life.

Alastor

“Really? Prancy Drew? I would have gone for Sherlock Hooves, personally!” A light laugh. Ahhh, he shoulda been a comedian.

“That covers act one!” He crouched down again. “What worries me more is act two. What happens when we go back?”

Angel

" Not buppidy enough, " he replied monotonously before falling silent a few beats, " ... ... ... I dunno. I... didn' plan it. I don't even... " ~~Know if I CAN go back.~~ " I dunno. I'll... figure it out later - "

The mass grew a couple inches. " The fuck are _you_ worried about? This ain' got nothin' t' be doin' wit' you. "

Alastor

“You dare accuse *me* of being *worried*?” He planted a hand on his chest, scandalized. “Anyway, I could have asked you the same after you hauled me from the bar to your room! You owe me this one! Or I owe you one, whichever direction this thing goes.”

And Alastor was worried it *might* have something to do with him. If Valentino decided he needed to come confront his wayward worker—and if Charlie expected Alastor to be the one blocking the front door.

Angel

" They was ya exact words! " the bump exclaimed comically with a visible lean towards him, " I told ya, it didn' FEEL RIGHT t' leave ya in the middle a the hotel like a bump on a log, yeah? That's just _decency_ where I'm from. You don't gotta... "

Angel swallowed thickly as he tried to wrap his head around _whichever direction._ Was he looking to pay it forward? Simply get even in the transactional sense? The latter sounded more like him. The notion that he wanted the satisfaction in turn for doing someone a favor felt like it was _completely_ off the table, so they likely weren't going _there..._

_And his head started to spin._ " ... Ya don't gotta worry about m'boss... or my job... Ya already bought me some hours... That's... good... " _**SNIFFLE.**_

Alastor

A pause. “You’re right! *I* accused me of being worried! I don’t know how I’ll recover from this betrayal.”

Oh, no, was Angel about to get emotional? Alastor hoped that sniffle was from the damp. “Oh... don’t give me the credit, you bought yourself these hours.” He attempted an awkward shoulder pat. “Unless you mean back on Christmas, sure, although I don’t think that has much to do with this situation—” His eyes brightened. “Say now, how’s that for an idea? Go back and claim that at the last minute you got paid better to be somewhere else, give him his cut, do you think that would make all this blow over? You’d have to tell me, I don’t know him.”

Angel

Angel gasped with a violent flinch upon contact, frantically drawing the coat from over him as if he were drowning. Not being able to see Alastor coming was a mistake, but through a shot of wide eyes, Angel insisted nothing untoward happened. He clenched the bundled material in his lap and anchored his sights to it, shaking his head solemnly.

" His call tops e'rythin'. He wants me somewhere, I don't get t' tell 'im I got a better idea. It don't - ... it doesn't work like that. N - ... _no amoun' a cash's gonna fix what I did._ "

Alastor

Alastor pulled his hand back and raised them both up, palms out. Okay, no touching.

So he was more power-hungry than money-hungry. Pity. But something about Angel's reply rubbed Alastor wrong. *Fix what I did.* That sounded less like a fear caused by what Valentino was like and more like a fear cause by what Angel had done—and that made Alastor wonder whether what he'd done was something worse than simply skipping out on a shift. "And... what *is* it that you did, exactly?"

Angel

He didn't know why, but seeing both Alastor's hands up made him deal a double high - five. _See? Touch is fine! I can TOTALLY do it JUST FINE! HUZZAH!_

But his eyes stayed low, corners of his mouth twitching. It was hard to tell if he was about to burst out laughing or crying. Claws closed over his cheek and he turned his head towards the sea, as if the words he were about to say were the ashes of his soul to be put to rest.

He mumbled, " I broke outta the top story window, let the angels in, crashed 'ere. 'Splains the glass. "

Alastor

Alastor actually laughed at the double high-five. Okay! Unexpected, but entertainingly so!

And then let out another sharp bark of a laugh at the confession, less out of amusement and more out of surprise. “Well! You know how to make an exit, don’t you! Maybe you’ll get lucky and the angels will take care of the problem for you, eh? But I wouldn’t bet money on it.”

Angel

His cheeks rose in a weak smile that reached his eyes and not much else. " No... the angels wouldn' get 'im... He'd throw all of us to 'em first. Bet all our lives b'fore we even get a chance t' take a count. " ~~_Basically what *I* did..._~~ Angel winced at the realization.

Alastor

“Oh, keep your fingers crossed—who knows, maybe he had fifty meat shields and the exterminator that gets in will have a quota of fifty-one sinners to meet!” But there are no lucky breaks in Hell.

“Do you know what you’re going to do when you get back?”

Angel

" Don't matter i got _six_ to cross... he's still gonna be there, for sure... Waitin' fa me... " He pawed at the mass of hearts in his lap, raking through them, attempting to disrupt their pattern but they remained.

" ... Lookin' fa me. I don't - ... I don't KNOW. I _can't_ go back, but... What 'appens to a Sinner outta Hell too long? You're a magic man. Ya can pick up shit runnin' through Heaven, yeah?? What's it look like? " By this point, he'd crawled over the coat and put a tentative hand on the rock beside his hoof, pleading at him for an answer that'd lead to his least painful existence.

Alastor

His smile turned sad, without his noticing. “I can detect signals from Heaven. I’ve never been able to figure out how to understand them.” He sighed. “But, I do know what happens to sinners outside of Hell: same thing that happens to any soul in the mortal realm. You’d be a ghost. For now, you’ve got enough energy from Hell to sustain a visible, physical form—but over time, it will run low. Once you’re out, you’ll be another intangible spirit, detectable by the average human only as a shadow or an eerie feeling unless you find a source of energy to leech off of and study how to channel it. Maybe it would be different here instead of Earth, with so much more magic around that’s easier to absorb, but that remains to be seen.”

A vague shrug. He could ask Alexander, once he got the hang of drawing power through his radio, whether he collected power more easily here than Earth; and when Sir Pentious started living here for longer periods of time, if he ever got up to weeks, months away from Hell, Alastor could ask about his energy and whether he had to do anything to sustain it; but right now there was too much unknown.

“But visitors to Earth, angelic and demonic alike, are always on the lookout for fugitives. Usually, they’re just souls who didn’t pass over. They’re hauled in to their respective afterlives and that’s the end of it. I don’t know what they’d do with escapees.”

Angel

Angel swallowed thickly. " _I couldn' do that..._ " he whispered lowly, " _I'm too fuckin'... STUPID t' read through all that technical... spiritual... SHIT...!_ " Surely that wasn't the reason, despite how unintuitive it'd be for him. It was moreso his own frustration talking. His lack of tact. His inability to fully consider the consequences of his actions. Not to mention, REALIZE what he was doing until he'd already DONE IT. His instincts had protected his immediate future, but DOOMED him in the long haul.

" So I'd just... go back... no matter what... I can't just be ghostin' fo'ever... "

He melted into the ground, two sets of claws masking his face and wrenching through his hair. If he couldn't escape any kind of persecution, he'd take his chances with the angels... " No one... who's rumbled with the angels ever came back, huh...? " If Extermination Day was going to be his LAST, there's so MUCH he would've done ( most of which included hunting down all the people he already wanted to KILL, but nonetheLESS... )

" So that's it. Hide out 'ere until the angels find me. Take me back. Do whatever they're gonna do t' me. That's all I can do not to 'ave ta... _face 'im._ "

Alastor

“If it helps, I don’t think ghosts are given a how-to manual, and most of them get the hang of it.” But what did he know, he’d never been a ghost.

Alastor grimaced at that. “Well. No one who’s ever been executed by an angel has ever been *un*-executed. But people have survived close calls.”

He settled himself more comfortably, they were going to be here a while. “The way I see it, you have several options. One—“ ding, “—hide on Earth as a ghost. Some ghosts get away with it for centuries. Again, I don’t know if escapees are given higher priority than souls that have never left the mortal realm—but I’ve never met an imp who was *enthusiastic* about hauling in wayward souls.

“Two—“ ding, “—hide *here* as a ghost. Unless the powers that be *try* to hunt escapees on Okkylk—and if they were going to, we probably would have found out when Sir Pentious started spending nights here instead of Hell—angels and demons might never visit this planet. Why would they? It’s possible you could hide here indefinitely.

“Three—“ ding, “—hide in another ring of Hell. I have connections that can sneak sinners out of Pride. But being a sinner on the lam in another ring has its own perils, as you could imagine. I’ve turned back mid-trip if going forward meant putting myself in a position where I couldn’t walk back to Pride on my own two feet if I had to—I doubt you’d have that luxury.

“Four—“ ding, “—throw yourself on the mercy of somebody stronger than Valentino. If you happen to know any dukes who like to blow thousands on you and would be moved to tears by your terrible plight, now’s the time to dial them.

“Five—“ ding, “dye your fur, learn a new accent, change your identity, and go under cover.

“*Six—*” ding, “erase him before he can get his hands on you.

“And any of those could be combined to *great* effect with faking your own extermination. If you have any limbs you’re not fond of, all you’d have to do is toss one in a little pile of gore near where you were last seen!”

Angel

" I ain't gonna be taken by no fuckin' _IMP,_ " he grumbled, but seemed to relax some beneath the comforts of someone thinking for him when he had such shortened foresight. Slowly but surely, he started to remember who he was. " I ain't gonna _hide_ fo'ever either. I worked too fuckin' hard makin' m'name. If it'd all be fa nothin', I'd rather fuck off into extermination. "

Yet, the sternness of his words contradicted the shuddering, the fading pink of his bodily markings into the faintest grey.

" I know... some demons... but they're all either frien's a Big V's , or ain't gonna wanna make beef wit' 'im fa anythin'. Or care to if it's gonna mean they're losin' all the rest a his business. An' I'd be... in the same spot... caterin' to their e'erythin' an' if I don't - "

He stopped himself and curled up on his side.

" Madame... could... an' would, but she's got a deal wit' 'im I can't fuck with. I got a lot goin', but wit'out 'im I ain't got much t' bargain. He owns... ALL I got under contract. Everythin' but m'soul. "

Alastor

Everything but his soul. Alastor was silent a moment as he contemplated that, staring out over the ocean. Finally, he said, “Greedy. You wanted to have everything and you wanted it as fast as possible, didn’t you?” His tone wasn’t scolding.

“What are the terms of your contract? Any buy-back provisions, any terms under which it would immediately become void?”

Angel

" No... it was... slow... " he responded with an evasive weakness, " Yeah, I've always wanted t' be a star. Since I was human. But when I first dropped 'ere, I was... _fine._ Doin' what I was doin'. Workin' bars, streets, weapons. Until he showed me I could be more. An' I believed 'im when he said we was gonna be a _team._ "

He trailed off.

" I trusted 'im. Wit' everythin'. _And he wrung me the FUCK OUT fa E'ERYTHIN' I got._ There's... no way out. He 'ad me agreein' t' shit I shouldn't've. The way he talks an' the things he does... It's what he does. He can get ya agreein' t' anythin' he wants wit' just, a flick of his DAMN WRIST until he's covered all 'is bases. An' ya can't fight 'im anymore. Ya _belong_ to 'im, whether ya want to or not. 'Cause at the time he had ya noddin', everythin' just sounded... good. No fine print. It's ya whole _ass_ in bold. "

Alastor

“And who could pass up such a temptation.” It was damn foolish to trust anyone like that in Hell. But everyone had a bit of a damn fool somewhere deep inside of them, and the cleverest manipulators only needed to find the right angle from which to pry that fool into the light. “Do you have a written copy of your contract? Or was it all verbal?”

Angel

" Not me... " He picked himself up just enough to be eye - level with him. " Not... you, " he dared with an implicit confession before sitting back. " He has it. " Of _course_ he does. " I haven't even seen the damn thing in decades. "

Alastor

He didn’t react to the implicit accusation—but he didn’t deny it.

A sigh. “And I’m sure so much as *asking* to see it will raise suspicions. Not, of course, that you could ask even if you wanted to, if you can’t go back.” Damn. Alastor was sure the thing must have loopholes—*everything* had loopholes—but he wasn’t going to figure out what if he couldn’t see the thing. “What about your soul? Why *haven’t* you sold it? Does your contract stipulate anything about what happens if you do?”

Angel

" I... I don't... r'member... I don't think he thinks I got the guts. It was the one thin' he let me keep t' keep me thinkin' I stood a chance. I don't even fuckin'... know what HAPPENS or what it feels like t' not 'ave ya soul. He got me this twisted up wit'out it. Givin' it away would do me worse, wouldn' it? "

Alastor

"It would depend entirely on who you give it away *to!* And, say, whether they might let you buy it back. Mind, most 'sell your soul now, buy it back later' deals are designed to make getting out of debt practically impossible, *but.* Infernal law favors dealmakers who work in souls. In most cases, selling one's soul trumps any prior ownership claims over any other part of one's person. But you'd know better than I whether Valentino drafted your contract with a clause ensuring he'd maintain his holdings even if you sold your soul."

Every word of it was the truth—but consider the source when considering whether this was actually good advice.

Angel

He almost zoned out. It made much more intuitive sense to just KILL the bastard in place of reading between any lines. Which was what he was working UP TO before he blew it.

A grimace. " I doubt it, but then again, I don't know. Guess I'd... gotta get it from 'im if I really wanna fin' out. " He was nearly stark white. He had to keep going no matter how much harder he ended up making it on himself. Hiding would only be prolonging the inevitable. If he was going to end up going down, at the very least he had to take Valentino with him, or strongarm _some_ sort of upper hand... somehow.

Alastor

"Which brings us right back to the problem of your having to face him, doesn't it?" And even if he could get out of his contract that way, that wasn't going to do a thing to stop Valentino from coming after Angel if he was mad his prisoner was getting away. It addressed a long-term problem but not the immediate one.

Angel

He couldn't speak, only shudder. Angel had _nothing_ over Valentino. He was near certain he carried his contract on his person at all times. It was really seeming like there _was_ no way around it. Just a nod. A bitten lip and raking claws over his forearms.

" Can ya... hear what they're broadcastin' about? "

Alastor

Alastor hesitated, then shook his head. "Not without somebody opening a portal to Hell. I picked up a little trick recently that might be able to boost my power enough to listen across planes like that, but I'm reluctant to test it out in the middle of an extermination and risk broadcasting our location."

Angel

" ... Ok, wouldn' want that... " Angel replied meekly before staggering a shaky reach into the pool to pluck Pelagios from a pile of coral he was rearranging. " Later... could ya tell me? " He then sank his face into the seapup's head, clutching him dearly as he replied with vaguely confused burbles.

Alastor

"As soon as I can." He smiled wanly. "You're not the only one eager for news out of Hell."

He was cold again. He summoned up a big beach towel from indoors, and offered a second one to Angel.

Angel

" Thanks... " First things first, he could stand to feel more like himself. Angel let Pelagios down into his crossed legs and started drying his hair. So long as he was stuck, getting his mind off the situation was the best he could do, for now. Diligently he dried and out of his line of sight, Pelagios had escaped him to chew on a corner of Alastor's towel.

Alastor

He could restrain the urge to chatter for a moment. Let Angel have a second to recover.

He looked at the seapup gnawing on the towel Alastor had draped over his shoulders. And then, slowly, without looking away from seapup, Alastor stuck the opposite corner in his mouth and started chewing it.

Angel

" If I could get my hands on my contract, would ya help me figure out a way t' - " Angel slipped the towel off his head, hair a weird, frizzy mess and snorted at the sight. " Sorry, Schnookums! Took ya outta the water before you were ready, huh? " he said as he reached for Pelagios and attempted to gently ease the towel from his mouth.

To no avail. It seemed he made his choice. A tidepool rich with toys and potential snacks was second to gnawing on cotton and staring down the Radio Demon with the biggest, most impish smile he could muster.

Alastor

Ah, so it was to be a battle, was it? Alastor leaned away from Pelagios, tugging lightly on the towel as he did.

"If you get it, I can look it over." Somehow, chomping on a towel did nothing to hamper his ability to speak clearly. "I can't guarantee that I'll find a way to help—it depends on just how airtight Valentino's made his contract—but I know a thing or two about Infernal law and I have fiends in high places."

Angel

The little orange veci hopped forward, easily tugged but no less determined to win... whatever the object of this battle was to be. He was rested from his food coma and had a wake - up snack. All that was left was energy to burn. A nefarious glint in his eye, Pelagios dug in on all fours and started crab - walking to the side to tighten the towel around Alastor's neck. _Ruthless._

Angel clamped a claw to his mouth to stifle a laugh. " Thanks, I... I 'ave no idea how I'm gonna pull it off, but... " He thought a little bit as Pelagios playfully death - rolled like an alligator. " I'll get it, and uh - " A loud pulse echoed in his eardrums. He was running on sheer force of will at this point. " - worse comes to worse. Which AIN'T gonna happen. But if it DOES, er... "

Nifty and Husk didn't seem to have it all that bad. Of course, they were vastly different demons and if anyone knew how severely false pretenses could be it'd be him, but he still couldn't finish the sentence. Angel still wasn't sure if bartering his soul would be something worth resorting to.

" ... I double die. End of story. Fat Nuggets is gonna be goin' to Kyxs. "

Alastor

Alastor patiently allowed seapup to strangle him—goodness, what an inventive tike. He was going to be dangerous if he ever faced anybody who actually needed to breathe.

But his gaze remained on Angel, waiting for him to finish that sentence—*knowing* what it would be. They'd danced around the topic of strategic soul-selling already, after all.

When Angel chickened out before he could offer his soul up, Alastor was relieved. Alastor couldn't save face if he turned down the offer—but accepting it would be tantamount to directly challenging Valentino for ownership of Angel. Even if Alastor could legally finagle the transfer, there would be nothing stopping Valentino—and his allies—from going after Alastor.

There were friends he would risk his existence for. Angel *was* a friend, Alastor would concede that, but he wasn't yet on the VIP list. Alastor didn't want to have to tell him *no, I can't go that far for you.*

He placed his hand to his heart. "You have my solemn word that Fat Nuggets will not be made into bacon." His hand was immediately bound against his chest by the towel. "Oh, clever boy."

Angel

" Thanks. 'Cause if ya don't... " Angel, visage all but a void, crawled forward and gently swept Pelagios before he could make a full predatory circle around Alastor. It was clear enough to him that he didn't _mind_ being wrapped and was... perhaps a bit _entertained._ But he needed something to do with his hands. And he had to make some preparations. " ... It ain't like there'd be anythin' I COULD DO ABOUT IT. "

A knead - like rub between the fins of his head, and the Seapup started up a series of contented burbling followed by a slack jaw. " I gotta... go talk to 'em, " he said with a swipe of his things as he stood, " Ya... want any company, or should I take the lil' fella with me? " With a spare pair of arms, he dusted out Valentino's coat and wrapped the towel around his waist. " I could... leave ya with this, too... if ya liked wearin' it. It's pretty cold back 'ere and would be better to have that towel to sit on instead of the rocks, ah? "

Alastor

“Very true! The best guarantee you could get is sticking around to keep me on the straight and narrow! But that’s never entirely in our control, is it?” A wink. “Still! You should do the best you can.” The closest Alastor is going to get to saying *I’d like you not to get erased.*

“Take him, you’d get far more out of his company than I would. But I’d appreciate the coat! I was starting to get attached to it!” He stood as well, it didn’t seem appropriate to keep talking while seated. Especially since he had something a little more serious to share. “Before you go, I’ve got something else you might find useful.”

Angel

Angel rose a brow, not the least bit in the mood for some empty pep talk. Nonetheless, he gave a small smile and floated the coat over Alastor's shoulders. " Knock y'self out. Nevermindin' the extra arms, it suits ya better than me. _Nice 'n red -_ "

He cut his sing - song and canted his head. " Yeah? Ontop a some contract literacy? " His upper arms dropped to his hips as Pelagios cradled into his stomach. " What'cha got? "

Alastor

“They make for a lovely sash!” He tugged the coat back on and wrapped the extra arms around his waist again.

Once he tied them on, he turned his full attention on Angel. In what for him passed as a low voice, he said, “Now, I’m trusting you to keep this information to yourself. I’m not a dealer in contraband and I’m not looking for customers, I just happen to have a private collection. *But*, I happen to have in my possession two barrels’ worth of holy water—and I can increase that amount exponentially at a moment’s notice. If adding that to your arsenal would help you solve any of your problems... consider it at your disposal.”

Angel

He matched his drop in volume. " _Ya shittin' me._ " Though Angel knew he wasn't kidding in the slightest. Rejecting any semblence of good news was simply just a hard habit to break. " Angel weapons ain't exactly standard issue. How the _fuck_ did'ja get ya han's on _**holy** water?_ It really work like that? It really...? " A dark glint circled his eyes. " _Burn_ like acid? _Permanently?_ "

Alastor

"Would you believe *Valera?* They passed me a little kit of magical ingredients they happened to have been given but didn't have any use for. All the usual little herbs and spices, but *guess* what I found in the back and have been multiplying ever since!"

He leaned closer with a malicious grin. "I can't speak *directly* to its efficacy on sinners, because I morally object to experimenting with torture methods on humans test subjects—unless I happen to have someone on hand who deserves it, of course." Hand over heart. What a saint. "But every once in a while I'll scoop out a glass of the stuff and dunk a small demonic critter in to make sure it's still potent! And oh, yes, it burns like acid. It burns like napalm. Exactly as advertised. A little different for each creature, but never pretty."

Angel

Of _course_ he believed Valera. He believed Alastor, too. Who would've _thought_ that holy water was such a common commodity outside of Hell? ~~On second thought, that probably made a LOT of sense.~~

Angel bent an equal amount backwards. ( _The grin, the coat, the stature... a VAST difference compared to the image that flashed his mind and nearly sent him COWERING again, but nonetheless one he wasn't quite ready for._ ) A stiff exhale of his held breath and he quickly straightened up. ( _He could get used to this. He DESERVED to get used to this._ )

" Morally object t' torture experimen's on people? Never would've thought the big bad _Radio Demon_ cleaner than the _Outfit,_ " he teased with a matching lean forward, arms crossed and Pelagios thinking he's about to be handed off. _Look at those chubby little orange paws reaching for Alastor._ Angel's voice then dropped into a demonic growl. " So, ya think a couple gallons could fit a ten foot moth overlord's head? An' ya just gonna... give it t' me? "

Alastor

Oh, no getting in Angel's personal space today, all right. "The Outfit is evil for profit! I'm evil for fun! I think that puts me on slightly higher moral ground, don't you?" Studio laughter.

Baby reaching for him. Alastor automatically offered Pelagios a couple of claws to grasp on to. "Let's see, a couple of gallons is..." He conjured up two spectral red outlines of spooky floating milk jugs to hover next to Angel's head. "Should be plenty!" The milk jugs vanished. "Why shouldn't I? Once you know how to replicate it, the stuff's basically infinite!"

Angel

" _Touché ~ !_ No wonder I didn' fit in! " Pelagios let out a small SQUEAL of delight before grabbing both claws. Those four eyes sure are HUGE and soul - consumingly CUTE, but Angel playfully pouted at the comparison between his head, Valentino's, and milk jugs. " Buh - BUH! " He waved his arms through the projections and failed to stifle a snicker. " Not MY head! More like YOUR head! "

Angel then extended a hand to playfully ruffle Alastor's hair before drawing back. " Sorry, I mean, KIDDIN'! Thanks fa... the help... " he said sheepishly before drawing all four arms around Pelagios instead, just to find him very much attached. He gave him a little wiggle, but the seapup just took it as a means to wiggle Alastor's fingers. _So helpful._

Alastor

Seapup grabbed on. Alastor had a dull little burst of happiness that was quickly rolled over by a wave of old longing for a whole generation of young cousins who had once automatically latched onto Alastor’s fingers just like this and who by now were probably all dead of old age.

“It’s close enough! Most heads are about the same size!” And Angel’s was the only one available to hold phantom milk jugs next to.

Alastor automatically jerked his head back from the touch—before Angel aborted the effort himself. Alastor considered Angel’s withdrawn posture, and then the fact that they were probably going to be stuck with each other courtesy of Pelagios for at least a few moments longer; and then sighed melodramatically, tilted his head permissively, and said, “Oh, all right, go on. Just don’t spread the news or everyone will think they can get away with it.” He’d distract himself by wiggling his fingers right back, puppeting Pelagios’s arms in a little dance.

Angel

" N-no... I wouldn' wanna be doin' THAT to ya. I know how t' keep ya shit under wraps... " he said meekly before hesitantly reaching out. His hand didn't fall heavily, but light as a feather as he gingerly pushed his claws through the strands and reassured himself. _See?_ Sure was _Alastor's_ head, alright. Solid. With hair. Red hair with fading brown dye. A certain other Overlord - level demon wouldn't be caught dead with that level of inattention to his appearance. Antlers, not antennae. Ears. _Ya can stop bein' STUPID, now!_ With a ragged exhale, the last of his nerves ceased his shivering as he combed Alastor' s bangs back into place with the drop of his hand. A single, efficient movement.

Angel then stayed silent for a moment before being startled by Pelagios's jubilant squealing and animated dancing. " Ya _sure_ you don' wanna keep 'im fa a little bit? " he asked again with a gentle rub between the seapup's head fins. _Usually,_ that eased him up enough to release whatever death grip or lockjaw he had going on. " I'll come back an' get 'im from ya after I go talk to Kyxs, or ya can hand 'im off t' Valera if you see 'em. Whatever happens first. "

Alastor

His ears automatically flicked under Angel’s touch, but aside from that and his wiggling fingers he held perfectly still beneath the examination. There. Not so bad, was it? And maybe it would help Angel to relax a little.

“No no, that’s quite alright! I enjoy gently harassing small children, but I’m not terribly interested in babysitting one. You keep the kid and I’ll keep the coat.”

Angel

" Ok, say _bye - bye,_ Pelagios ~ " The seapup relaxed in Angel's hands and relented to being cupped over his shoulder with a turn towards the estate.

" _Blu - blu !!_ " he burbled with a double wave of his chubby citrine claws, lightly bouncing along with Angel's gait.

Alastor

"And a blu-blu to you, too!" He wiggled his fingers in a farewell wave at Pelagios.

Alastor made a mental note to make some discreet inquiries about how Valentino wrote up his contracts; and then he crouched down again to continue studying his tide pool.

[singeramg]

Midnight: Chapter 9

Pairing: Clark Kent- Superman/ Metahuman! Black! OFC

Story Rating: M

Warnings: Overall this is a slow burn story with Angst all throughout. This particular chapter has brief mention of smut, plenty of aforementioned Angst.

A/n: Welcome back everyone! I have loved all the support this has been getting and I swear I am working diligently on the next chapter. Enjoy this one...

CATCH UP HERE!

Midnight: Chapter 9

  “You gave him my middle name” 

Clark is standing in front of me and his emotions blend together so fluidly I can’t tell them apart to get a grasp on what he is feeling.

 “Yes. He could not share your last name, so I gave him something he could share with you.”

 “You wanted no one to know he was my son. Not even him.”

His voice is calmer than I ever could have anticipated it would be. Then again I never expected this to happen. 

 “Nobody could. It was too dangerous, I couldn’t risk it, and to be honest Clark who would believe that he was your child.”

Clark looks away, unable to make eye contact for a moment because he knew I was right.

 “Even now you still believe its dangerous don’t you?”

 “Clark I just...”

 “You weren’t even going to tell me were you?” He asked me, clearly irritated.

 “You want the nice version or the rude one?”

I ask heading over to the nearby chair and away from him. 

 “I just want the truth Gia.” For once Clark Kent sounds exhausted. Honestly I was too, I didn’t expect any of this when I started my day this morning. It seemed like it had been going on forever. 

 “The truth was and still is that a long time ago the man I thought would never abandon me did.”

   “Gia...”

  “Wait Clark let me finish. You abandoned me. Then you died Kal-El. You died and left me here by myself. Even though you left me, Kalen was the only part of you I had left. I had to protect that.”

Clark felt extreme amounts of pain and grief.

  “You did it alone when you didn’t have to.”

I laughed incredulously, bless his heart but he didn’t understand.

  “Clark do you understand the Hell that would have broken loose if I showed up on Mrs. Kent’s doorstep with your baby?”

He gives me a nervous smirk.

  “I’d imagine she’d give you hell for calling her Mrs. Kent.”

  “Not funny.”

   “I’m doing my best not the flip out right now. Less than 20 minutes ago my son that you failed to tell me about ran into the room and you can’t even look me in my eye and admit that you weren’t going to say anything!”

“I WASN’T GOING TO TELL YOU!”

Clark’s face falls and clearly he’s hurt.

  “You wanted the truth there it is. The other side of that truth is that I had changed my mind. Forget that you’ve not been awake a full 24 hours yet and this is not just something you shout out. This is why I wanted to talk to you alone when you arrived. My son...”

 “Our son.”

I ignored the flutter of my heart at hearing him claim Kalen. The flutters reminded me of a time when all he had to do was be in the same general vicinity for me to feel them. I pushed it back down, I no longer have the time for these feelings.

  “Am I to believe you were actually going to tell me? Excuse me if I’m not apt to believe that, considering you have been doing your best to push me away.”

 “Believe me or not Kal. You are going to believe whatever you want. At the end of the day I have done everything in my power to keep MY son safe. I’ll be damned if I apologize for keeping the child that I pushed out of my body safe. You Kal-El slash Clark Kent slash asshole can go fuck yourself.”

Surprisingly he starts laughing at me.

 “The fuck is so funny?”

 “You only break out my Kryptoian name when you are pissed at me.”

If he only knew how pissed I was, he wouldn’t be making fun of me.

  “You can stop laughing Clark. This shit ain’t funny. Do you understand what people will think given his age? What those on this team have already thought? Let me give you a hint. They think I’m a dirty hoe or did you forget about the fact that nobody knows the timeline about how this happened? How I could call myself Lois’ friend? How do you think she will respond once she finds out you have a child with someone that’s not her?”

  “But Gia we did not cheat together.”

 “I know that, you know that. Nobody else does! To the world you were and still are Clark Kent and Lois Lane the Daily Planet power couple and me I was the lowly barista who slept with you. A dirty whore.”

 “Don’t CALL YOURSELF THAT!”

I scoffed at his anger. 

 “Why not Clark? That exactly what you reduced me to. Me. I can live with you walking out my life. I made peace with losing you. It’s always been her over me, and that’s the card I have been dealt. What I won’t do however is watch you come into his life and then leave again to save face after she and the world tells you it’s wrong.”

  “What makes you think I would leave our son behind? I care less of what the world thinks of me.”

  “It’s not the world I worry for anymore Kal. It’s the people that you love I worry about. I won’t let you break his heart.”

Clark looks at me, his anger radiating from him, as his chest puffs out and walks closer to me.

  “WHY DO YOU BELIEVE I WOULD ABANDON MY SON?!”

  “BECAUSE YOU ABANDONED ME! You are capable of breaking hearts because YOU BROKE MINE!”

Realization dawns on him and he tries to move closer to me. I toss up the strongest shield I am capable of. Clark can’t  get through, and just holds his hand against the invisible barrier. His forehead drops against it. 

  “Let me in Gia. Please.”

I hadn’t even realized the tears had come back. I shook my head no.

  “I can’t Clark. Besides this is no longer about us. It’s about Kalen. Now your son is waiting for you to read him a bedtime story. I am going to bed, goodnight.”

  “Gia...please just talk to me...”

  “We can discuss telling Kalen about you in the morning. Goodnight Clark.”

I walked away, the shield still holding strong. Thankfully he didn’t follow as I locked myself in my room.

Once inside memories I had long sense suppressed came to the surface.

*Flashback* Nearly four years ago

I woke up slightly disoriented. The only thing that I knew for certain was the soreness in between my legs. As I adjusted to the light streaming in my newly acquired solo apartment, I rolled on my back, my nudity covered by my beige sheets, the comforter sprawled across my floor. The night's events came rushing back to me all at once. The memories of feeling Clark’s hands on me, roaming the expanse of my body, the feeling of his strong, hard body in between my legs,  the cries of my multiple climaxes as my nails ran down his muscled back.

I spent the night with Clark.

I was still trying to wrap my head around what had happened, but I still also wanted to live in this moment. Reminiscing on how wonderful it had been to lay with him. 

Thinking of him made me wonder where the man himself had gone? My bed was cold enough to indicate he had been gone for a while, at least not in bed with me.

 “Clark?”

I called out softly, knowing if he was nearby he would hear me. I heard no response nor did he appear. I looked around the bedroom, taking note that my clothes were still scattered while his were gone. 

‘No big deal, he was Superman he couldn’t exactly wait until I woke up to go save the world.’

With that in mind I got up to take a hot shower once out I spent the day floating in a cloud until it got later and later in the day and he hadn’t reappeared. Then the next day when he wouldn’t call or text me back letting one week went by as I became steadily more depressed. I wasn’t sure what was wrong? Had I been that trash in bed that he had to ghost me? I mean even if it wasn’t as good for him as it had been for me, I mean we could work on that, what was burning me up was that at the bottom of it all was that we were better than this. I thought he was better than this.  It was almost a week to the hour since Clark and I had fallen into bed, and I had just finished watching Love and Basketball, wiping stray tears away. I had blown through my snacks and I needed more before I started watching Love Jones. I decided to make a run to the store. 

Donned in yoga pants, an old t-shirt and a men’s hoodie that I fell in love with from the Goodwill , I walked to the store. My apartment wasn’t far from the coffee shop where I worked along with a bunch of other cute little shops. I found my convenience store. Settling for the chocolate brownie Ben and Jerry’s along with Gummy Bears and chips. I headed back to my apartment, looking down at my phone, scrolling Instagram, when a shop door opens in front of me. The guys coming out of the bike shop apologize but I don’t care because upon looking up I see Clark spinning Lois in his arms, her head tipped back in a laugh as her red delicately curled  hair swung around. 

My breath catches in my chest as he leans down and kisses her soundly on the lips. 

I almost dropped my bag. I literally feel my heart break, I think Clark must hear it break because he looks up spotting my face from the under the hoodie. His guilt hits me full force furthermore confirming what I am seeing,  but it gets buried under my emotions. 

I back away from where they are coming toward me, finding an alleyway. He can’t follow me without looking suspicious to Lois. I jump from building to building, sliding down the fire escape and into my hallway, where I let myself into my apartment and tried to block out the rage and pain I felt, cutting on my movie as I intended before I left. Shutting down was the only thing I knew how to do properly.

*3 hours later*

I fell asleep on the couch, my package of Lorna Doone cookies sitting open on the coffee table, I almost screamed upon seeing a darkened figure standing in the corner of my room. It was only the familiar scent that calmed me, then pissed me off.

 “What in the fuck are you doing here?”

Clark came out of the corner of my living room and I waved my hand, the lights coming on in the apartment. Dressed in the same blue plaid shirt and Henley, with jeans I saw him in earlier with...her.

  “Well I’ve been trying to call you for two hours and when you didn’t answer I got nervous. So I came over.”

I glared at him. 

  “So let me get this straight. You, Kal-El have sex with me over, how many days ago...what is it now, like 7 days and then ghost me. No explanation or anything, and in the middle of your ghosting, you  run into me. Then let me guess, you decide you need a booty call from the side chick, call me and when I don’t jump when you say jump , NOW you get nervous. “

I scoff and say

 “Pfft, Clark I think you should go.”

 “Gia. I owe you an apology. I never meant to hurt you. It wasn’t supposed to go that far.”

 “Good to know you didn’t plan to break my back and then leave.” I scoff with an eye roll.

  “I’m serious Gia. I am sorry. I got so caught up and then Lois came back into town the next day wanting to work it out. She and I have been through too much to leave it on the table.”

  “But you will sacrifice my feelings though.”

  “It’s not like that. I care about you Gia, so so much. I haven’t called because to be honest, I look at you and see how this will hurt you and Lois. I came to tell you that I think it’s best if we don’t see each other. At least for right now, just until Lois and I can get settled.”

I was crushed, the man I loved was the one breaking my heart. 

  “You will never be settled if you lie to her.”

  “I will tell her eventually, Gia it’s just temporary.”

I glared at him, and walked into my kitchen. Clark watched as I drank a glass of water. I gave myself a minute to compose, then said some of the hardest words to come out of my mouth.

  “No it’s not temporary.” I sigh 

  “Yes, yes it is Gia. Besides you deserve to have a chance to live your life. You have been wrapped up in my Superhero business since I rescued you. You deserve to enjoy the life you clawed your way to without me around. Just let me handle the bad people out there for now. Maybe you can find someone to love you just as you without the baggage I bring.”

The ‘ because I don’t love you ‘ hung in the air like smoke and the fact that he couldn’t even say it out loud pissed me off. He even thought he could tell me to give up Midnight. She being an extension of me, it told me he didn’t care at all. He couldn’t have asked that of me if he did.

  “I said it’s not temporary Clark. You see, I thought you would be different because you aren’t from Earth. Turns out your biological parents’ goal was accomplished because you are just like the rest of the men in the world Clark Kent. You get what you want and you leave. As women we give and give  until we are depleted. I gave to you until I was almost lost in the shadow of you.  I’m done giving to you Kal. I’m done waiting for you to realize I am not some fragile flower in need of your protection anymore. If cutting me out your life was so easy now, then who am I to think you won’t do it again when it’s convenient? Bold of me to assume you give two fucks about me at all. So when I say it’s not temporary, it’s because it’s not. This week without you proved one thing to me and that is that I don’t need or want you in my life anymore.”

  “But Gia I care I just...I mean just a few short weeks ago I was going to propose to Lois. I can’t just walk away from her. Why can’t you of all people understand that?”

I laugh again which only makes him nervous. I knew about the ring. He had shown me a while ago and while I ignored the flicker of pain, I had congratulated him and given him a proud hug. I had finally begun to make peace with Clark only being my friend. I was almost over the crush, then this had happened. 

Now he was not about to lay his guilt on me like all of this was my doing. I loved him more than I thought was possible, but I loved myself more, at least as of this moment I did.

   “Kal I understand perfectly.  I never asked you to choose between she and I. All I ever asked was that you be my friend. You can’t even manage that. Come on let’s face it, you’ve been pulling away from me  for a while. I am tired of digging my heels in the dirt, begging you to return my friendship as you had in the past. So I agree it’s best we do not see each other, but this time Kal-El make it permanent. Get out of my life and don’t EVER come back.” 

His face fell, I imagined the tears in his eyes, probably to make myself feel better about all of this. 

  “Gia. I don’t mean forever.”

  “It’s not up for discussion because I do. I mean forever. Enjoy building your perfect life with Lois. I hope she is all the friend you will ever need, maybe you will make more, better than how you’ve treated me, but to be honest I don’t care if she is or not. Please leave my apartment and don’t come back.”

   “Gia.” He says his voice almost pleading.

  “GET OUT NOW KAL- EL!”

I said finally frustrated with him. I was on the verge of tears. I can't break down with him here. I needed him to go.

 “I’ll go Gia because it’s what you’ve asked of me, but I can’t not see you as in forever. I am...not... that strong.” 

I imagined I could feel his disappointment and heartbreak. I knew I was trying to make myself feel better.

   “You are going to have to be. Besides Don’t be so dramatic, I am only giving you what you wanted from the beginning when you asked me if I had anywhere to go. I’m setting you free of me for good just like you would have the night you rescued me. Goodbye Kal-El.”

I couldn’t even look at him, I shut off all incoming emotions as he stood there looking at me for another minute or so. Finally he opens the front door.

  “Goodbye Gia.”

As soon as the front door closes I slid to the kitchen floor. Face in my hands, knees almost touching my chest as I cried, the position reminding me of the night he found me and asked me to trust him. I did and look where it got me.

How did I lose my best friend and the man I loved in one night?

I was stupid to even let them become the same person. The worst part was that subconsciously I knew this would be the outcome. Okay maybe not the whole sex thing but even still I ignored my gut, and latched onto the idea that he loved me the way I loved him and I gave him a part of me that I could not get back. 

I could never fully forget Clark Kent because he had been my first. I knew I would always love him, he could just never know that...

*End Flashback*

We had no clue about the life we created the same night I lost my virginity to him. He wore protection and I was on birth control, so I still don’t know how Kalen came to be, but every time my son looks at me I am grateful. I would go through heartbreak again and again if it meant he didn’t feel an ounce of pain. Seeing Clark again after all these years had only proved I had buried the hurt, not gotten over it. 

I had to keep Clark at a distance at least from me. I had to stick to my decision that was made a long time ago and that was to not give a damn about this situation. 

My son had to be the priority. I couldn’t handle it if he wasn’t...

A/n: So what do you think? I hope it was enjoyable despite the heavy angst....

Love you all!! And remember the taglist is open just let me know -Singeramg

TAGLIST:

@bloodyinspiredfuck​ @romyr4​

[laceymorganwrites]

Rag Doll

Word Count: 3,705

Pairing: Akutagawa x reader

Warnings: swearing i guess

A/N: i love this edgy Boy, don´t think i wrote him well tho...

(Y/E/O/N) = your enemy´s organization´s name

The headquarters of the Port Mafia illuminated the city of Yokohama, keeping control over it in its central location. Being an organization of this size and importance could be stressful at times, especially if certain members were to go on their own all the time. But in the end they fulfilled their missions and kept everything how it should be. Missions could be tiring however and even the Port Mafia needed to rest and relax sometimes.

If one were to turn in a little corner by the train station, they were to encounter a certain bar, the Rag Doll. It wasn´t just an ordinary bar, oh no, it was the base of an underground information gathering organization that had close ties to the Mafia and worked together with the major organization.

The organization was led by none other than (Y/N) (Y/L/N). Being a former soldier and spy for several organizations you were sick of following orders and fighting for a cause you didn´t believe in.

It did have its perks working in a bar visited by infamous criminals who were dependent on you, such as gossip and protection.

Oh and the poor souls who entered the bar on this very night…

“Could you spare some chlorine?” Dazai asked with gleaming eyes, making you roll your eyes.

“Didn´t you want to die without being a burden to anyone? What kind of image would my bar have if people heard I served chlorine? I have normal costumers too, believe it or not” you scolded the brunet, crossing your arms and shaking your head. Dazai squinted his eyes. “You´re not making this easy for me...” he mumbled.

“People like you don´t deserve an easy death, that´d be quite anticlimactic now, wouldn´t it?” you giggled, having known Dazai quite a while throughout your carrier of changing carriers so often.

Dazai smirked. “I guess you´re right...” he gave in and you placed a glass of whiskey before him.

He stared at it lost in his thoughts while you served the other costumers, meanwhile learning new info on several enemy organizations from your colleagues. “(Y/E/O/N), huh? They´ve been a pain for quite a while now actually...” you thought out loud.

As you stepped in front of Dazai again, his face lit up. “So you´ve been having trouble with them too?” he asked, a suggestive undertone in his voice. You rolled your eyes but couldn´t help but smile. “Wanna team up?” you finally asked… but didn´t get the reaction you anticipated.

“Maybe you can teach my subordinate how not to be a complete failure” he chuckled.

Your happy expression changed into a stone cold one. “He´s just a kid, Dazai” you said through gritted teeth. “He´s not that much younger than me, you know? And yet… he´s just too… unstable” he said in a disgusted voice, it enraged you. “As if you´re one to talk about mental stability! He´s from the slums, you have to understand how hard it must be for him… but instead you just had to make him a perfect weapon, a soldier… you disgust me, Dazai” maybe Akutagawa´s situation made you this emotional because he reminded you of himself, ripped out of a shitty environment, forced to work in a worse one. He didn´t have a chance to choose, he didn´t even have a say in it. You sure pitied the kid. “Do you know how dangerous he would be with an ability like this if I didn´t raise him right? He´s far too uncontrolled with his ability to let him out of my sight” Dazai defended himself, but you weren´t going to give in that easily. “Don´t give me that crap, Dazai! If you would actually have some decency and kindness, hell patience would be enough! If you keep treating him like you do, he´s gonna grow up feeling like a worthless piece of shit. You know, I´m really asking myself why you saved him when you couldn´t care less. People like you shouldn´t be put in charge of people like him!” you glared at him. Dazai just tilted his head, chuckling.

“You seem to care very much about him” he noticed.

You started cleaning the counter, grunting at his comment. “Maybe it´s just because unlike you I´m a decent fucking person” you grumbled.

“I doubt that...you´re a master at your craft after all, and that is deceiving people. But I have to give it to you, nobody does it quite like you” he sighed dreamily.

You clenched your jaw and stared him down. “Why thank you” you chuckled bitterly.

He knew damn well why you did the things you did, it was out of the need for money and because you were forced, to be fair you did it because you liked it now but that was a different story.

Dazai stared at you for a while with an amused expression on his face while you still held your cold one. “Well, that was a fun night. I´ll see you tomorrow” Dazai put down the money for the drink on the counter and left the bar, leaving you with a headache.

When you arrived to work in the next morning Dazai and Akutagawa were already there.

“Good morning, (Y/N)” Dazai smiled at you, but you didn´t respond. Instead you checked in on your coworkers and caught up on the information needed for the mission.

“As you all should know by now, today is the day we raid (Y/E/O/N)´s base and attack them! We will crush them, I don´t accept failure today. This is too important. Alright everybody, commence your positions and don´t die on me, we´re already short staffed. Good luck, guys, see you in the evening” you gave a little pep talk and were about to get ready for your part of the job as well.

That was when you remembered Dazai and his subordinate were still there. “You´re still here? Don´t you have your own plan on taking them out? Starting a massacre or something?” you teased to which Dazai scoffed.

“I wish you were wrong… most of us follow the plan you assigned to us, but we do have our little troublemakers” he shot a glare at Akutagawa who clenched his jaw.

“Okay then, why are you still sitting around here? Don´t you have something useful to do? Come on, Dazai, you must have planned some wicked scheme” you placed your hand on his shoulder. He just chuckled. “Maybe I do… but more importantly, could you take care of my subordinate today. I can´t risk him screwing up again” he muttered, making you frown.

“Don´t give them any trouble and follow their orders, do you understand?” Dazai turned to Akutagawa. He nodded, still not looking up.

You sighed. “I´m getting dressed, Dazai, explain the plan to him, I´ll be right back” you rushed into the backroom and put on the clothes you picked out for the mission.

(Y/E/O/N) was known for holding illegal auctions and you planned on infiltrating one and destroying them from the inside.

After you joined them again, Dazai left you alone.

“It´s nice to finally meet you, Akutagawa” you told him. “I heard very much about you. And before we begin I need you to know that you´re not a failure. I know that we will succeed. You just have to trust in your own strength, because others won´t always be there to do so” you said, but didn´t get any reaction out of him.

“The weak don´t have a right to live” he replied like a mantra.

You frowned, slowly placing a hand on his shoulder. He shuddered at the contact but let your hand remain.

“But you´re not weak…” you reassured him.

His eye twitched at your words but you paid it no mind.

He irritated you, of course you got why he would have such a mindset, growing up in his environment it was only natural. But being saved from such circumstances one ought to be utterly traumatized, grateful to their savior. Normally such Darwinism should vanish from his thoughts, so why was it that he still strove to be the strongest? As if he wasn´t worth being alive otherwise.

Dazai must´ve fucked him up worse than the slums, you thought.

“You´re under no obligation to prove anything to anyone” you told him in all honesty.

“I know. Let´s finish the mission” he said through clenched teeth, apparently you hit a nerve.

In silence you walked to the location and infiltrated it successfully.

“Secure the entrances, make sure nobody can leave. There´s gonna be a massacre here shortly, it would be a shame if anybody missed it” you smirked, distracting people while Akutagawa imprisoned the people.

“Now that was easy, let´s get to the fun part, shall we?” you smiled and started slicing people up with the knives hidden in your clothes.

Akutagawa joined you with his Rashomon and you finished the mission in short time.

Your colleagues would clean up later.

You had a few hours before you had to head back to work so you went home to relax a bit. Akutagawa was gone before you could even say goodbye.

Somehow you felt as if you screwed up, you´d never get to know him now.

But who could blame him? The act of surviving that was his life so far couldn´t be called living, he merely existed, it was easier with thick walls all around him. It was easier if he didn´t let anybody in.

Hell, it even made sense, so why were you so glum about it?

Why was it that you cared so much about him? Why did you want to understand him so badly? You never wanted to be the person to fix other people and force them to face their problems but why did you feel like that was who you were right now?

In the course of the next weeks you ran into Dazai and Akutagawa multiple times, the Mafia and your organization worked close together very often nowadays.

Akutagawa still was distant towards you, not even looking at you while doing missions together.

Your current target was Mimic, Dazai and his friends were involved very closely.

After researching their base and handing the information over to the Mafia you considered your job done and in the evening you wandered through the city, not feeling tired at all.

Something was keeping you awake.

Well, you still couldn´t wrap your head around Akutagawa, but that was silly.

You walked to your favorite spot in the hills where you had a beautiful view of the city.

Sighing you sat down on the bench and stared at the city lights that gleamed in the night sky.

“Dazai-san partnered us up for the mission tomorrow” you didn´t even hear him coming.

Staying in your position, now forcing yourself to look straight ahead and not at him, you nodded.

“Beautiful, isn´t it?” you mumbled, talking about the view.

Akutagawa nodded, thinking about you.

“Dazai must really hate you, huh?” you chuckled, finally looking up to him with sad eyes.

He frowned. “Why?” he asked, stalking closer to you, eventually sitting next to you on the bench.

“Come on, every time we have a mission, we get paired up. Because Dazai´s twisted like that, you know?” you shook your head.

Dazai was another person you couldn´t wrap your head around. Were you friends? Were you enemies? Something in between?

“So that´s how you see it…” he mumbled.

“Dazai´s so sadistic, everyone can see you hate my guts, but no he just has to have us work together. I don´t know what he promises himself from that, but it´s Dazai, you never know with him” you thought out loud.

“If you say so…” Akutagawa said in an annoyed tone.

“Why are you even here? I mean, I could´ve found out we were paired up again by myself tomorrow, there was no need for you to tell me in person like this.” you thought out loud.

“I like this place, didn´t know you were here” he lied, looking down to his feet.

You groaned, you really didn´t want to say anything but you just had to.

“You told me the weak don´t deserve to live when we first met, remember? But I´ve always wondered: did you mean the mentally weak or the physically weak? And what about those who evolve to be strong? Either way, you should´ve killed me after that statement” you rambled.

Akutagawa held his breath, how were you able to scratch at his walls like that? Question him like that? And bring up his past and personal issues? How could you read him like that?

“Being weak and thinking you´re weak are two different things” he said flat out, making you laugh.

He frowned. “What´s so funny?” he crossed his arms.

“Nothing, I just didn´t think you actually had a reason not to kill me” your words came out sounding more annoyed than you actually were.

“Tch, you irritate me” Akutagawa said through clenched teeth.

You groaned. “Oh really? Why is that? Because I speak my mind? Are you so unused to that? I have so many more reasons to be irritated by you than you!” you raised your voice, turning to face him.

“I don´t think I have the same effect on you as you have on me” he told you plainly, making you even more confused.

“What the hell is that even supposed to mean? Can´t you just say what you mean once in your life?” you fumed.

“Why should I do that if I don´t know its consequences?” he questioned, now that perplexed you quite a bit. He didn´t seem like a guy who thought about the consequences of his actions.

“You know, maybe I should hate you. It´s easier that way” Akutagawa stated, not waiting for you to say anything, he just vanished without another word.

He left you wondering what just happened.

Great, the day before the mission you really wanted a good night´s sleep, but now he ruined it.

You hated your brain for it but you would think about him all night, unable to sleep.

You also hated your predictions to become true in the next morning when you had to meet up with Akutagawa.

Luckily his declaration of last night also meant he ignored you, you really weren´t in the mood for talking.

All the talking was broken down into information necessary for the mission.

In silence the two of you walked to the location, at first you thought you were too late, but in fact you were just in time.

Well, too late for the plan you worked so hard and long on, but just in time to step into action and stop Mimic´s leader who was about to kill Odasaku, Dazai´s friend.

Normally you would´ve waited and hidden in a safe spot before raiding the enemy´s base.

Now without thinking, with a mere second of analyzing the situation, you dashed forward in between the two men who were about to shoot each other.

Everything that happened happened in an instance, so fast, it almost felt like forever.

You saw something rushing toward you from the corner of your eye and the next thing you knew, black matter stabbed Mimic´s leader to death and red light illuminated you, acting as an armor, a shield of sorts.

It felt warm and yet it was over as soon as it began.

“What are you guys doing here?” Odasaku spoke up before you could voice your confusion.

Quickly you pushed the thought of what the fuck just happened to the back of your head and gave a short mission report.

“Well, some bird told us you got yourself in trouble and it´s our mission to take out Mimic anyway, so it´s kinda like killing two birds with one stone, right?” you smiled at him.

“I guess, but I had it under control” he defended himself.

“You were just about to get killed, I wouldn´t say that gives the impression of being under control”

You commented, still not grasping how lucky you were, how perfectly in time. You had to commend yourself for thinking so fast, you didn´t think you still had it in you.

“Yeah, you might be right. Well, thanks for saving me again” he showed his gratitude and went back to the mafia´s base with Akutagawa.

“Wait a second, Akutagawa!” you caught up to him.

“What was that just now? I didn´t know your ability is able of defense, you have to tell Dazai, I think he´ll be proud of you” you complimented him.

He stared at you for a while in his cold, emotionless manner, but his eyes were different than normally, there was something soft in them.

“I didn´t really think about it” he admitted.

“Well, either way, you did a good job today. Intentionally or not, you saved me, thank you. I mean it” you told him, trying to look him in the eyes but it was like he was looking right through you.

“Like I said, I didn´t mean to do it, I just did” he said sharply and joined Odasaku on his way.

You didn´t know what you expected, but some part of you had hoped he did it intentionally.

And that part hurt like hell right now.

It was ridiculous and you knew it but for some reason he got to you and you despised it.

This feeling made you so unable to concentrate and feel dizzy and it was just horrible.

You felt utter defeat when you walked back to the Rag Doll.

And as if that wasn´t enough, Dazai was the first thing that caught your eye.

He sat at the bar, flirting with the barmaid and when he saw you, he gave you an amused look.

“What´s so funny, Osamu?” you weren´t in the mood for his twisted schemes today.

“Oh nothing, just the way you can break people. I never thought my subordinate would let you get to him, and yet… and yet he hasn´t been able to think straight ever since he met you.” he sounded disgusted, like a child whose toy has been broken. Maybe it was boredom as well, you could never tell with Dazai.

You sighed and shook your head, you didn´t know whether you should laugh or cry.

“What are you trying to achieve, Dazai? I can´t handle your bullshit today, so why don´t you just tell me your true intentions for once?” you groaned, oh how you wished you could just be at home in your bed right now, away from everything that´s been going on.

“I could ask you the same thing. You accused me of not caring about Akutagawa, but if I didn´t care why would I have saved him? And yes, maybe I did fuck up in raising him, how could I not? I have never done this before. But I know one thing: if he wants to survive in this cruel world, he has to be strong. And he has to be selfish, because the world is too, nobody will care about him and he has to learn that. I can´t have you breaking his heart, I can´t have you trying to fix him, I can´t let you make him let his guard down. Because that way the world will eat him alive” Dazai told you and for once he was honest. That didn´t mean his words didn´t hurt you.

“I´m sorry, Dazai. For doubting you. You´re right, I shouldn´t be around him… but why do you keep pairing us up if you know that?” you felt your lungs squeeze together, cutting off the air, making it hard to breathe. Your heart ached and your hands started to shake as you desperately tried to fight back the tears, it was semi-working.

He chuckled, looking at you with something you could only identify as pity.

“I see the way he looks at you, Akutagawa is always so angry and stern. You somehow manage to calm him down. I´m not stupid, (Y/N). I know what you feel for him. I´m sorry about the way my words came out before, I just wanted to make sure your feelings were honest. I don´t think there´s anyone better for him than you. I have a feeling that you can tear down his walls, maybe make him more sociable… we´ll see. Either way I´m excited to see where this is going”

Dazai smiled at you.

“You´re making this seem as if I actually stand a chance...” you mumbled, you knew exactly what Akutagawa thought of you, he wouldn´t ever see you the same way you saw him.

“Dazai-san, is it true what you said? Does (Y/N) really….? Oh, excuse me”

Akutagawa came rushing through the entrance, he didn´t even see you until Dazai cleared his throat and pointed at you.

“Yes, she likes you back. I´ll leave you two alone now” Dazai mentioned casually before he left.

You almost choked on your breath and blushed heavily, you thought now was a good time to escape but your legs wouldn´t listen to you.

Both of you said nothing for a while and who could blame you? This was what one would call an exceptional awkward situation.

Akutagawa was the first to find his voice again while you were still thinking about your escape route.

“So… is it true?” he asked, not meeting your eyes. His voice was low, like he was trying to suppress something.

You gave up trying to run, what was the point in it?

“Yes” a simple word, taking a leap of faith, you let out the breath you didn´t know you held.

You couldn´t even look into his eyes, too scared of what his reaction might be.

Whatever horrible things you imagined didn´t happen.

Instead Akutagawa was… coughing? And that rather heavily.

You rushed over to him and placed your hand on his shoulder gently.

“Are you alright? Can I do something?” you asked, but he just shook his head.

After a few minutes he was done coughing and looked sideways in embarrassment.

“You too make me feel… things” he bluntly stated, making your heart beat faster.

You smiled at him and took his hand and he let you.

[zombryz]

A Drummers hands (Part 2)

~ Machine Gun Kelly as Tommy Lee Imagine ~

Just a heads up! Read before continuing:

I’m just writing and going with the flow, I’m not sure how many parts this will be so buckle up and enjoy the ride!

**There is cursing, smut, abuse, and multiple partners  **

Tags for my favs: @colsons-crue​ @stevenandsam​ @inthebackofmycarlaytheirbodies​ @lain-ee 

You woke up to yelling, you rubbed your eyes as you yawned yourself awake. “FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR MOTHER!” you hear Roxie yell. You stand up quick realizing something is wrong. As you walk down the corridor you hear Tommy yelling back now, “Get the fuck out!” and all of a sudden there was silence. You stop in your tracks unsure if you want to open the curtain to whatever shit show was going down in the front of the bus. Peeking your head out from behind the curtain you see Roxie bent over with blood in her mouth, she looked pissed. Tommy starts walking towards you and you close the curtain and jump back into your bed. He passes you with anger filled footsteps. You slowly turn off the bed and follow him to the bathroom “Hey Tommy, it’s (Y/N)... everything okay?” you say in the sweetest voice you can. You hear sniffling before the door opens. You look up to Tommy and lock eyes with him, it's so sad seeing his ocean eyes filled with tears. “Yeah I’m fine, Roxie is a cunt... I didn’t mean to hit her..” he looks down at his hand as its shaking uncontrollably, “Hey, hey, hey, it's ok... Shhh.” you grab his hand to try and stop the shaking, you look in the mirror behind him and notice that there is blood coming from his left shoulder blade. “Tommy, you’re bleeding,” you answer still with the gentlest voice possible. “Oh yeah, you can thank THAT BITCH!” He yells towards the front of the bus in hopes that she can hear him. You slowly push him into the bathroom and close the door behind you. You sit Tommy down on the toilet and tell him to take his shirt off. “uhh, ok,” Tommy responds with puppy dog eyes but in a matter of seconds he's tugging his shirt off. It's funny, he's so tall that even when he's sitting on the toilet his eyes are almost parallel to yours. You grab the hydrogen peroxide out from under the sink along with a bandage. “This might sting a little,” you say with the cap to the hydrogen peroxide bottle in your mouth before blotting the soaked cotton ball on his wound. “Ouch, damn.” he hisses. You cover up his cut and he turns around towards you to say thank you with tears still fresh in his eyes. “We haven't stopped the bus yet which means she's still on. Can I lay in your bunk until she gets off this fucking bus?” he tried responding in a smile. “Yeah drummer boy, I gotcha.” you giggle before twirling and walking out of the bathroom back to the front of the bus. Tommy whispers “fuck” under his breath but you didn't hear it.

You and the band arrive in a small town where their next gig was going to be. You haven't spoken to Tommy since the whole bathroom incident and you didn’t really mind, you and the band would play small pranks on each other like hiding the toothpaste and hanging the boys' underwear out the window. Tommy always got a kick out of your humor but operation Nikki was still in effect, at this point it was just fun being around all of the boys. Tom would get upset with you occasionally because this was his job and you kept fucking around. The band was sitting in the front of the bus when Tom tried to tell you to calm down. “Okay dad, whatever.” he rolled his eyes at you, you guessed that playing that baby powder to the face prank on him was a bad idea, oh well. “Wait, you call Tom dad?” Nikki turned to you with an intrigued look in his face, this was the first time he really acknowledged you so you took what you could get. “Yeah, but I could call you daddy,” you responded with a wink. Nikki got up and walked over to you, your legs were laid out across the couch seats and you were chewing bubble gum. He picked up your legs to sit down and put your legs back over his lap. “Hmmm, what else do you want to call me doll face?” he replied in an almost seductive manner. “Okay, okay stop” Tommy shouted in an irritated fashion. “What?” Nikki responded, this almost struck up a very awkward conversation for Tommy because he didn't know how to reply before the bus came to a sudden stop. The boys got up one by one before walking out of the bus, it appeared to be a hotel in the middle of nowhere. Looks like this was going to be your home for the night. You and Tommy were the last ones to get off the bus, “Do you really have a thing for Sixx, (Y/N)?” Tommy says with jealousy in his eyes. You didn’t really know why the drummer was approaching you, he still seemed fucked up over Roxie and he would flirt with girls every night after a concert. If there was really something there it would’ve happened already seeing as your both single. “What’s it to ya, Lee,” you reply with a pop of a bubble between your lips. The drummer fell back his last words before getting off the bus were, “Whatever, man.”

Nikki walked over to you and put his arm around your shoulder before whispering in your ear, “I’m going to sneak into your hotel room tonight,” he bit your ear and it sent shivers down your spine. You reached up and licked his neck in response, “Okay babe, I’ll be waiting.” Nikki winked at Tommy who was walking behind the two of you, he was pretty upset seeing Nikki being flirty with you. Nikki had a type and it wasn't you, you were just going to be another fuck to Nikki. Tommy was a hopeless romantic and he was starting to fall for you and he couldn't stop himself.

You went up to your hotel room, Tom came to apologize for being so mean to you earlier. You hugged him and told him you loved him. The two of you agreed to get breakfast in the morning as a makeup date for not being able to spend time with him for the past few weeks. You showered and lotioned your body. You were ready for Nikki to come upstairs, you hear a knock on your door and go to answer. You opened the hotel door to a tall lanky figure with shaggy dark hair, definitely not who you were expecting. “Tommy, what are you doing?” you walked back into your hotel room leaving the door open as an open invitation for him to come in. “Listen, (Y/N) I love Nikki but you don't want him.” You can’t believe how upset he is. “Tommy, I-” you start to say before he cuts you off as he's pacing around your hotel room. “No, he was talking about fucking you all night and I couldn’t take it. I don’t want you to be someone's sex toy.”  You were sitting on your bed in a towel and he was so heated he didn’t even notice. You stood up and placed your hand on his shoulder to stop him in his tracks, “Tommy, I don’t care about being his sex toy. I just want to have sex, it doesn't matter to me if he never talks to me again. I don't want to be in a relationship. You don’t have to worry about me okay?” he doesn’t say anything for a minute, he looks hurt. Tommy was a hopeless romantic and you didn’t like seeing him hurt. You figured you’d comfort him in the only way you knew how so you let your towel drop to the floor. Tommy looked you up and down before moving forward and cupping your face into a kiss. It was longing and sweet, it felt loving, nothing like anything you’ve felt before. Tommy was so tall you had to stand on your tippy toes to kiss him, he must’ve known that it was a struggle for you because he picked you up and you ended up wrapping your legs around his torso. You were kissing him on his neck and his face, anywhere that you could plant a kiss you did. You bit his lip as he walked you over to the bed and placed you down. You saw those blue-green ocean eyes you loved so much. You hated that you actually did want to be in a relationship with Tommy. It felt like this could be a forever thing. He reciprocated kisses and made his way down your neck and you let soft moans escape your lips. You suddenly jolted at the sudden knock at the door causing you to bump heads with Tommy. It was Nikki, it had to be. Tommy stood up fast and you sat up on the bed looking for your towel. You were so heated you just wanted Tommy to come back to bed. For some reason Tommy walked over to the door, you could still see his bulge inside his tight leather pants, it was honestly already bigger than any other boy you’d been with. “It’s Nikki,” Tommy states peeking through the peephole, “and he has-” You mind wandered, he has what? “He has flowers..” Tommy’s voice broke. Flowers? Why did Nikki bring you flowers if you were just going to be his “fuck” for the night? “You have to let him in (Y/N), I’ve never seen him so giddy,” Tommy said looking down at his feet. “UHH, just a second you yelled through the door. You were face to face standing with Tommy at the door now, he looked so sad and all you wanted to do was kiss him and tell him everything was ok. Now that you had tasted his lips you craved more. “What are you going to do?” you asked before Tommy shrugged not knowing himself, “I’ll sneak out while he's in the bathroom or something!” “Okay,” you agreed shoving Tommy in the closet. You grabbed one of Tom’s oversized band T-shirts and threw it on over your body to greet Nikki at the door.

You opened the hotel door yet again and met Nikki who seemed so eager to be in the room with you. “Hey Nik,” you started grabbing the flowers he handed you. “Hey Dollface,” he kissed your forehead before walking into the room. You’ve never seen Nikki like this, it was almost like he was love struck and you didn’t know why. Nikki sat on your bed before turning the TV on. “Hey Nik, can you come kill a spider that was in the bathroom with me earlier?” you called from inside the bathroom giving Tommy his cue to leave. Nikki walks into the bathroom and looks for the spider. Tommy sneaks out and walks back to his hotel room in distress, he didn’t want to leave you. You looked so beautiful and he wanted nothing more than to spend the night with you but he also didn’t want to hurt his best friend. He closed his eyes and hoped to god that you wouldn’t fuck him.

Nikki was down on his knees looking for the spider under the sink, you were sitting on top of it. You almost forgot that you weren’t wearing any underwear until Nikki reminded you, “Oh wow,” he said looking between your legs as he stood up from the floor. “Is that for me?” he asked you didn’t really know what to do so you responded with “mhm” as you bit your lip. You couldn’t stop thinking about what just happened between you and Tommy. What would happen tomorrow? What do you do right now with Nikki? These thoughts were racing through your head. You stopped thinking when you surprisingly felt the bass player’s face go between your legs. Wow. His tongue felt good, you spread your legs letting him do his thing. You grabbed the mirror behind you and moaned in response. He stood up and started kissing you while you still sat on the counter, you didn’t want it to stop. All you wanted was to feel good. Nikki ran his hand up your thigh and under your oversized t-shirt, he stuck his fingers inside you and started sucking on your neck. You kissed him back hard but thought about Tommy. You finally realized you had a splitting headache. Nikki stopped and asked if you were ok. “No.” you replied and Nikki brushed your hair out of your face. “You’re so beautiful, (Y/N). For you, I’d be willing to wait” He sounded sincere. Nikki carried you to bed and invited himself into bed with you. He fell asleep within minutes while you laid awake. You had blue balled two Motley Crue boys in one night. You didn’t want to believe it but you somehow got yourself into a love triangle. “Fuck,” you whisper under your breath.

[cannedbeaner]

~Depression~

Soooooooo

I didn`t eat shit today because I`m depressed

Now I`m even MORE depressed cause my parents got me food and tried ti guilt trip me into eating

Lemme explain

I woke up at 9 and felt depressed

I didn`t eat, drink or take my meds and went straight to therapy, with my mum being late as always.

When I was at therapy I just ... just drew. I didn`t talk to her cause she was busy and I didn`t wanna interrupt her. But, I`m now enrolled into a contest in which I have to draw a beachy themed drawing and once it`s done, myself as well as 9 of my other artists patients can win a $25 Visa Gift Card. I didn`t choose to enroll in this, I was forced to. I like the idea of getting a Visa Gift Card, one my parents might not take for cigarette money, but I won`t win it. I`m not talented at all

Anywho, I got to my house, picked up my Chrome book, charger, wireless mouse and earbuds and went to my grandma`s house. Our internet went out and I`ve been staying in a mad house. My aunt and uncle, who`re 50 and 60 something, are arguing like children and my grandma and uncle unmedicaded ADHD is driving me insane

I stayed there, went to sleep for five minuets and went to Physical Therapy at 1:30

I was told that my knee is fucked because of multiple things. One, my flat feet are causing me to walk weird, two, my muscle`s strengths are imbalanced and one muscle is pulling to hard, causing my knee cap to push/pull OUTWARDS, causing bone on bone friction and three, a lack of many things including but NOT limited to water, exercise and a healthy mindset.

After I was told ‘This`s your fault, fix it’, I went back to my grandma`s and proceeded to mentally drag myself by my crooked teeth; Telling myself that I`m a lazy piece of shit who did this to themselves, that no one loves me and I`ll die alone.

Ya know, the usual

At about 7 something PM, my mum came and picked up my brother and I, telling us that the water bill was payed but the internet wasn`t. MEANING, the water bill was too high cause my brother takes hour long showers and we`re too broke to pay the other bill

We went home with my feeling pissed AND depressed and I, in a fit of pure pissed off-ness told them, them being my parents, I wasn`t hungry, when I in fact am hungry. They asked me if I was sure and I lied, telling them I wasn`t hungry. They shrugged and went to McDonald`s, telling me before hand that they`re still buy me dinner.

I sat at home, doing fuck all, and mentally abused myself, telling myself that I`m a piece of shit lire that`s gonna die alone and that we`re poor because of my stupid ass.

Once they got home, they sat out the food and I sat at my desk, now telling them out of pure depression that I wasn`t hungry. Even tho I said I wasn`t hungry about 3 times BEFORE THEY LEFT, the bought me a whole entire meal, which costs about ... 6-10 USD.

I sat at my desk and watched them eat, regretting ever being born and regretting nt slitting my wrists when I had the chance. My dad tried to guilt trip me into eating, saying “You know if you eat, we`ll call your grandmother and see if you can stay over”. I still told them I wasn`t hungry and sat there, listening to them eat.

After they ate, my dad asked me if I wanted the rink he bought me. I said sure and picked it up, placing it on the desk. I put the straw in and left it there, not even taking a single drop out of it.

5 minuets later, my mum asked if I wanted to go to my grandma`s house, which`s 2 football fields away

I said sure and proceeded to go, leaving my untouched drink there

Now I`m sitting at my grandma`s house

In pain, depressed, slightly suicidal, hungry and so fucking tired

It`s been one hell of a Friday, right?

[strawberriestyles]

Chapter 5

(Banner made by the loveliest @harry-nofookingway-styles)

Harry X OFC (AU)

In which Melody is reacquainted with an old classmate named Harry, and must keep afloat in the violent, criminal lifestyle of an underground boxer.

Read previous parts here.

Author’s note: Hi, hi!! I loved writing this chapter and I hope y’all love reading it. As per usual, please send some feedback! It’s a kind gift for the work I’ve put into this fic! Enjoy!

Melody didn’t want to get too comfortable, but she had been writing a lot in the two weeks since she had spoken to Harry. She had cranked out two assignments and an overdue essay. She had even begun a short story about a brooding streetfighter. Perhaps she would turn it into her final project.

The inspiration that Harry and the north side had brought Melody was the ultimate reason why she decided to trek across town. It was late, nearing ten o’clock, but she decided that even just speaking to Harry would be worth the journey. Even Bea’s pleas of “don’t be stupid, Mel” couldn’t stop her from slipping out the front door.

The walk to the north side seemed much shorter than usual, for some reason. When she reached the road on which stood the warehouse and Brute’s, she finally observed that it was titled Hark Street. She also found people straggling off to the edges of the pavement and realized that the match had already ended.

Melody picked her way down the street, strategically avoiding the small gatherings of people until she was bathed in the neon lights of Brute’s. Through the window, it looked just as busy as that first time she was here. When she pushed through the door, it was also just as loud. The dance floor was packed. Melody watched an alarming number of arms flailing through the air as too many drunk people tried to move in their limited space.

If only took a moment of scanning for Melody to find Harry. He was sat at the bar, hood pulled up over his head and fingers wrapped around a glass of liquor. The seats on either side of him were vacant and no one seemed inclined to bother him. Melody, however, intended to do just that.

Crossing the room, she slid into the seat to Harry’s left. He turned his head just enough to get a glimpse of her face and then sighed irritatedly.

“Happy to see me, huh?”

“‘Ve asked yeh nicely t’leave me alone,” he said, sipping at his whiskey and setting the glass down rather hard. “Why can’ yeh seem t’do tha’?”

“I just wanna talk. I’m curious. We can catch up, you know, like normal, personable people do.”

Josie appeared in front of Melody and grinned, glancing briefly at Harry. “What can I get you?” she asked Melody. “A Shirley Temple?”

“That would be nice,” Melody agreed with a nod. She hadn’t missed the joking tone of Josie’s voice, but she figured that if she was going to sit at the bar, she might as well order a drink.

“Decided against alcohol, then?” Harry asked patronizingly.

Melody ignored his question, laying her hands atop the counter.

“Why do you fight?” she asked.

Harry grunted. He shifted uncomfortably on his stool and let go of his glass, reaching beneath his hood to scratch at his neck. Melody saw a dark, purplish spot on his cheekbone, so painful-looking that she had to divert her eyes.

“‘F I answer your questions, will yeh leave me alone?”

Melody let a laugh slip through her lips. “Maybe,” she said.

Josie returned, placing a fizzing, reddish drink down in front of Melody. “So, he speaks, huh?”

Harry lifted his head just enough to glare at Josie, who promptly turned on her heel to retreat. She had seen enough of the injuries that he’d inflicted to know he wasn’t kind when he was angry.

“You’re a boxer,” Melody began again. “Why?”

“Already explained tha’ one, didn’ I?”

“Actually, no, you didn’t.” Melody sipped at her drink and found that it was actually not the worst that she’d had. She stirred it with her straw as she waited for Harry to speak again.

“Yes, I have. Told yeh exactly what yeh said and what happened after.” Harry was staring straight ahead of him, at the wall behind the bar. Melody could tell that he was trying to mask his annoyance, perhaps for her sake, but it still seeped into his voice. “This is all thanks t’you.”

Melody narrowed her eyes at the side of his head. Maybe he was cold toward everyone, but he seemed to have a particular amount of spite toward her, and for what? Because of a single sentence she had delivered in the sixth grade?

“No, that’s not true,” Melody denied with a shake of her head. “I told you to stick up for yourself, fine, but you’re the one who kept throwing punches, even when the bullies stopped messing with you.”

Melody watched Harry visibly tense beside her. She could see the veins in his hand straining against his skin. She was angering him, getting on a good portion of his nerves, but if she was anything, she was persistent.

“Maybe I’m the one that got you to go to that first class,” she continued, taking his silence as an invitation to keep talking, “but I’m not the reason you got kicked out of school, and I’m not the reason you’re still fighting.”

“Say whatever yeh’d like t’believe,” Harry dismissed.

“You can’t blame whatever issues you have on me,” Melody defended. She took another sip of her Shirley Temple and then licked her lips. “Maybe you started fighting because you were being bullied, but you kept fighting because you like it, for whatever weird, testosterone-fueled, masculine reason.”

Harry clenched his jaw, trying to stifle the anger that he felt bubbling beneath the surface. He tipped his head back, swallowing the last of his drink, and tapped the counter to ask Josie for another. As much as Melody was annoying him, he wasn’t going to be ran out of Brute’s by some girl’s assumptions about his character.

“Let’s get one thing straight,” he snapped, twisting his head to finally look at Melody. Josie set another glass of whiskey down in front of him and then strode away rather quickly. “Yeh don’ know anythin’ about me. Talkin’ t’me in middle school doesn’ mean that yeh suddenly know my entire past and wha’s made me into who I am. Yeh don’ know shit.”

He appeared a little worse for wear, Melody observed, although his anger did seem to make the look more menacing than pitiful. Other than the bruise on his cheekbone, she now saw that the opposite side of his lower lip had been split open. She wondered how he was drinking alcohol.

“Okay,” she muttered, nodding her head. “Fine, I don’t know you, I’m just playing a guessing game.”

Harry turned back to his drink, seemingly satisfied, hoping beyond all hope that Melody would leave and he’d never see her again. He wasn’t that lucky, though.

“So, tell me about yourself, then.”

Harry felt his eyes roll into the back of their sockets as he closed them. Whatever he did, however hard he pushed, he couldn’t seem to shake this girl. He sipped his drink, resigned to ignoring her. Perhaps then she would finally get bored and wander off.

“The silent treatment, hmm?” Melody was anything but bored. In fact, she was quite amused with Harry. She knew that she was annoying him, but she couldn’t help it. She had always been one to study a character’s past, and Harry’s had to be rather interesting if he’d ended up like he had. “It’s not gonna work, you know. I can talk for hours.”

Harry felt himself growing weary. He didn’t know how much more of Melody and her interrogation he could handle. He slammed his glass down on the table and saw her flinch from the corner of his eye. Good.

“What do I have t’do t’get yeh to leave me the hell alone?” he said roughly.

“I need a date.”

Harry twisted his head sharply, eyebrows furrowed as he stared at her. She looked sheepish for once, like she might have been a bit embarrassed.

“Wha’?”

“There’s this art exhibit next weekend,” Melody began looking down at her drink to avoid Harry’s gaze. This was a last ditch effort to keep speaking to him. “It’s for one of my classes. I need a date for it.”

Harry was silently perplexed for a few moments as he watched her twiddle with the straw of her drink. And then he shook his head determinedly.

“Absolutely not,” he said.

“Harry,” Melody begged. She lifted her eyes to watch him drown half of his glass. “I don’t have anyone to go with. It’s one night.”

He shook his head again. Art galleries were on the other side of town, where the condescending well-off people lived. That wasn’t his scene and neither was art.

“It’ll be an hour tops. I’ll leave you alone if you just come with me.”

That got Harry’s attention. He glanced at Melody to find her looking intently at him. He was almost angrier than he had been before, but if it would get her off his back, maybe this would be the solution.

“Yeh want me at some art thing for your school? Yeh sure tha’s a good idea?”

Melody nodded shortly. Maybe there were other people she could ask to come with her, but there were multiple reasons why Harry was the one she wanted there. She hoped to get him to open up. Perhaps it would inspire more of her short story. She watched patiently as Harry mulled the idea over in his head.

“I don’ have t’wear a suit, right?”

Melody grinned, shaking her head. “No, you don’t have to wear a suit. Just a nice shirt and a pair of pants that aren’t sweats.”

Harry grunted, spinning his glass atop the counter.

“It’s next Saturday at seven. Do you have a phone?”

Harry shook his head. “Not on me,” he said. In fact, it was resting right in his pocket, but he wasn’t going to give Melody any way to contact him. The day that happened he would be sentenced to his own personal Hell.

“Okay, that’s fine.” Melody slid her drink toward her and moved the glass off to the side to reveal the napkin beneath. “Josie,” she called down the bar.

Josie appeared in front of her, looking into Melody’s glass. Her drink was basically full, so what did she need?

“Do you have a pen back there?” Melody asked.

Josie opened a cluttered drawer on the other side of the bar and fished her hand around until she found a red marker. She tossed it onto the bartop and then went back to pouring beers without another word.

“Here’s my number,” Melody said as she uncapped the marker and began to scribble on the napkin, “and my address. Meet me at six-thirty?” She finished off the name of her street and then wrote the date and time below it, just so that he wouldn’t have any excuses for missing it or showing up late.

Harry didn’t say a word as he took the napkin that Melody slid over to him and stuffed it in the pocket of his sweatpants. He wouldn’t be calling her, that was for sure. She didn’t need to get ahold of his phone number.

Melody chugged a good portion of her drink before sliding off of her stool. She placed some money on the counter and pressed a hand to Harry’s back. He tensed uncomfortably beneath her touch. She let her hand fall away.

“I’ll see you then,” she said.

Harry barely nodded beneath his hood. Melody turned to leave, picking her way between the people who crowded the room. Harry turned around and shouted to her.

“Don’ forget yeh said yeh’d leave me alone!”

He clenched his jaw as he turned back around in his seat. He wanted to believe her, that she wouldn’t try to talk to him again after this art thing, but he swore that he’d seen her laugh before she left. He tipped back the rest of his drink.

Chapter 6

[snarktheater]

Series review — Game of Thrones (Season 7)

Yeah, just because I decided not to snark every episode individually this year does not mean I'm happy about where Game of Thrones is headed any more than I was last year. It's actually kind of worse. Season 6 felt somewhat better than 5, but this is a nosedive. And the problem is, it's not exactly a nosedive in quality, which makes it increasingly frustrating to talk to people who still like the show. Not that it hasn't been frustrating for the past few years, but it certainly got worse.

But hey, who am I if not the guy who hates the cool stuff? Well, I'm still a lot of other things, but for the sake of the joke, let's pretend otherwise and talk about this season. This mercifully short season, yet still too long, in that it exists at all.

When I review something, I like to stay as nuanced as possible, which usually means being very…wordy. But when it comes to this show, I can easily summarize what went wrong. Namely: the showrunners ran out of books to adapt, and they did not understand the story they were making in the first place.

I'm not saying that as a book fan butthurt that they changed things (although…I am that too, kind of). This issue should be apparent even if you did not read the books. Because the show has basically become a completely different story. I'm gonna have to go on a tangent to explain this further, so bear with me, please.

A few years ago, South Park made a triple (triple!) episode mocking Game of Thrones (and promoting their then-upcoming video game). The main point of criticism they threw at the show, aside from daring to include male frontal nudity (which…you know what, it's stupid and I won't go there), was "when do the dragons show up?" There was a measure of self-awareness, since it was children asking that question. And yet, to someone like me monitoring people's reactions…it seemed to be a recurring one. When do the dragons show up? When do the White Walkers attack and we fight them?

But the show was adapting the books with relative consistency at the time. I could forgive minor changes, because I try to keep an open mind to adaptations and give them a shot at telling their own story and adapting to the new medium. So I let it slide. And the dragons or White Walkers showed no signs of coming sooner than the books planned, so it was fine.

However, if there's one impression season 7 has left me with, it's that the lovingly-called D&D (the show's creators) were probably those little boys asking "when do the dragons show up?" They had to bide their time, but as soon as they ran out of books, they made their move to get to "the cool stuff". Or what they perceive as such anyway.

Now, Benioff and Weiss are not completely incompetent storytellers (…I don't think. Yet). So this paragraph above is an oversimplification. They merged characters and plot lines in season five, leading to the horrendous Sansa marrying Ramsay moment, and padded others like Jon's to get everyone roughly on par. Then season 6 worked towards one goal: blowing. Shit. Up.

Literally, but also metaphorically. With the Sept of Baelor, all of Cersei's political enemies were wiped out in one fell swoop. Dorne was taken over and made its moves. The Ironborn were brought back to be relevant and immediately split into two neat factions. Arya completed her training but also retained her identity and went back home. Daenerys breezed her way through gathering all Dothraki under her command, and Meereen's pacification was wrapped up by her and her entourage. Jon was brought back to life and unified the North, and even became King!

For a show that had been able to maintain a dozen plot lines, some of them seemingly unrelated safe for taking place in the same world, Game of Thrones sure did a good clean-up job. Season seven barely even has multiple plot lines running in parallel at all.

And the problem is, this creates a binary, dichotomic story. The framing is clear: in Daenerys and Cersei's fight for the crown, we should root for Daenerys because she's "hope for a better future" while Cersei is ambitious and ruthless and doesn't care for the people. Every major player but Jon has chosen a side, and of course, all the sympathetic characters are in favor of Daenerys. And Jon is all about saving the entire world from the White Walkers. And of course, guess who he goes to ally with early on in the season too. But we'll talk about Jon in a moment.

A Song of Ice and Fire isn't a dichotomic story with clear-cut good and evil. Hell, Game of Thrones wasn't one either. Even the Others/White Walkers aren't evil; they are simply death, which plays into bigger themes about what makes life meaningful. But in this season, we have a clear "Jon and Dany good, Cersei bad, White Walkers worse" thing going on.

This is what I mean when I say it's a different story. Thing is, it's a story I could actually like. For the longest time, my number one favorite books was The Wheel of Time, and in many ways, this season has a similar structure to the later books of that series, with factions being forced to come together and ally against evil. We even have the Cersei-esque antagonistic faction.

Problem is, The Wheel of Time was aiming that way the whole time, and it built up the dynamics so they could end there. While I don't doubt that A Song of Ice and Fire will at some point feature a battle against the Others, I sincerely doubt that the lead-up to it will be as simple as "all the sympathetic characters decide they should fight them together because it's the good thing to do".

Another issue with this polarization of the previously grey morality is that characters drift away from who they were. Daenerys is the most blatant example: the season even has trouble at times reconciling her established character with who they want her to be, so she's torn being hope for the future and being…a woman who wants to conquer a land because she views it as her birthright. The showrunners have apparently forgotten that Daenerys's opposition to slavery was driven from personal experience, not her innate desire for social justice everywhere.

But of course, the worst part of falling into the Good versus Evil cliché fantasy story is that…that story has a very clear protagonist. Which the show didn't have. Or, rather, every time a character looked like the fantasy protagonist, that character died (see Ned and Robb Stark).

So it's baffling, and somewhat infuriating, what is happening with Jon Snow. Not only is he confirmed again (repeatedly) as Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark's son, as per the popular fan theory. Not only is he King in the North. No, now the showrunners have added that Rhaegar and Lyanna were married, y'all. He annulled his previous marriage, and Jon's real name is Aegon Targaryen, and he's the rightful heir to the Iron Throne, even before Daenerys!

Oh, also, because he's now the Bland Male Fantasy Protagonist, he's not just the lost heir to the throne, he also gets a love interest in the form of the prettiest, highest-ranked girl of around the same age available. Also known as Daenerys. Her aunt.

Okay, there's a lot to unpack there, and I won't even touch on the incest as a moral issue because…I don't really care about that? I do care that the showrunners have once more taken Dorne as their victim, though. I mean, that annulled previous marriage is with Elia Martell of Dorne, a woman of color who had two kids with Rhaegar. One of those kids was named Aegon. Their death fueled the Martell hatred towards the Lannisters, but hey! No big deal at all, let's just pretend Rhaegar would just name another son of his the same way.

No, I don't think it's a coincidence that the showrunners are sidelining a woman of color's relationship with a major backstory character in favor of a white woman. I don't think they're actively racist, but I am fairly sure that that decision is motivated by racism. Unless it's motivated by sexism, of course! After all, the other biggest victim in that is Daenerys, since every argument she has for claiming the throne would also give Jon precedence.

There's another problem with Jon, though, regardless of all of that. Specifically, he's…a Mary Sue. Yeah, shocking, I know, the Bland Male Fantasy Protagonist is made into a Mary Sue. Who knew!

So after establishing Daenerys doesn't take well to defiance, Jon shows up, and…defies her, refuses to acknowledge her as his queen, and gets away with it. That last part being the one I take umbrage with, just to be clear. Then he sticks around to try and convince her to help against the White Walkers, and…he does. Even though Daenerys has everything to lose in that process and the show even built a scene in the second-to-last episode of the season where Dany sees the White Walkers and realizes the threat they post?

Oh, but it gets worse. That second-to-last episode is impossible to summarize in how many events should lead to Jon's death, but don't. He makes one mistake after another, survives everything, gets one of Daenerys's dragons killed, and yet not only is she an even stronger ally, but she also falls for him over this.

Just to be clear, the issue here isn't Dany falling in love with Jon. Well, it is, but only in so far as Jon faces no consequences for his errors, and instead, gets his way. Literally: the season ends with Dany renouncing on taking the throne until the White Walkers are dealt with. If there's anything more Mary Sue than doing everything wrong and facing no consequences for it, I…haven't heard of it yet.

It would be bad anywhere, but it's especially bad in a show where a man of honor (Robb Stark) fell in love with a woman and rallied her to his cause once led to him dying. And the thing is, I don't even like that they changed Jeyne Westerling into Talisa, because it completely undermines the tragedy of Robb's character arc (book!Robb dies because honor is his fatal flaw and he had to marry Jeyne for honor; show!Robb dies because he couldn't keep it in his pants). But that change means there's an even starker precedent for why, if this was still the same story, Jon should die.

And yet…this is also exactly what I'm worried won't happen. Because Jon is now our Bland Male Fantasy Protagonist/Mary Sue, the chances of him dying are…fairly low. The issue is: he is now fucking his aunt. While I wouldn't put it past the show to revel in that (they have dabbled in Targaryen exceptionalism…a lot), I think the backlash might force them to kill the ship, even if it hadn't been the plan. So who will die: the Bland Male Fantasy Protagonist, or his love interest who can give him ManPain™ by dying? Yeah, I know where I'm placing my bets. And just for the record I'll be happy if I'm wrong.

Jon is a microcosm of all the things that went wrong. Another example is the Lord of Light, who this season is treated a whole lot like the "one true religion". Characters eventually all start acting like they all serve the Lord, and…do I really need to finish my thoughts or can I just end here and say "Christianity"? Because it sounds like that's what they're going for, and that they're also equating that with being good, and once again erasing all the moral complexities of the various religions in the world of ASOIAF/GOT. Bonus points because Jon was brought back to life by a priestess of the Lord of Light, effectively making him a literal "chosen by god" trope.

This season was…well, unfortunately, it was exactly the sort of hackneyed developments I expected from the show based on the past two seasons. And yet it's also kind of worse? I just really want this to be over. I also really want to come out of this still able to like the books.

It does make me temper my expectations for whenever that Wheel of Time adaptation comes out, though. Is that a good thing, remind me not to overhype myself for other things? I'll take it as a silver lining. Another silver lining being that I can stop thinking about Game of Thrones until…whenever the final season comes out.

[laseroy89]

I Hate My Smelly Neighbour - Pt 2

Jake was right. I could hear a lot of yelling next door.

The Rancid Reaper’s metal gate was wide open, but the wooden door was opened by a slit, which only slightly muffled the commotion. Weird though….there wasn’t any light coming out.

Come to think of it, the Rancid Reaper’s flat actually looks pretty creepy. He has a grilled gate that used to be painted white, but roughly 70% of the paint has flaked off, leaving the metal underneath to the mercy of the elements. There’s also a simple wire shoe rack outside that looks like it’s gonna fall apart any moment. It’s filled with many shoes, even though I’m sure the Reaper is the only one living in there.

But the main wooden door behind the grilles is the one that gives me the creeps. The bottom is covered with scratches, some of them about the size of my fingernail, and others as long as my forearm. I’ve noticed these many times while walking past, but it’s only now when I noticed how many there are - there’s got to be hundreds of them, tiny black slits standing out from the pale brown wood.

“Should we go in?” Jake sounded really hesitant, all his earlier enthusiasm faded away.

“It was your idea. And now you want to pussy out?” I looked at him in exasperation, and motioned to him to enter first. He sighed, and pushed the door open.

The corridor lights illuminated the first few metres in. I could see a worn wooden armchair wrapped in cling wrap, a tiled floor covered in stains, and….nothing else. The rest of the room was in absolute darkness - it was akin to looking into a black hole. Any attempt to discern shapes only made my eyes hurt.

Strangely, it didn’t smell as bad as I expected it to be. Sure, I caught a whiff of the stench from time to time, but it wasn’t as strong as that memorable episode, when I was trapped with him in the lift.

From our apartment, all we could hear was indistinct shouting; now that we were inside, we could distinguish the two voices more clearly. One of them was high-pitched and a little nasal; it also halted at irregular intervals, as if the speaker was crying, and trying to speak through tears. The other was a deep, booming voice that reverberated around the apartment, and had a gravelly undertone that was kinda irritating - it’s like growling and rasping at the same time. I assumed the high-pitched one was the woman’s, and the deeper one belonged to the Rancid Reaper.

I don’t understand a single word they’re speaking though. Their speech seemed to consist of a series of guttural noises, shrill whistles and loud grunts - I’ve never heard such a language before.

I shut the door silently, hoping that my eyes would get used to the darkness. But no - I still couldn’t see shit. Thank goodness Jake was wearing a white shirt, so I could still make out his faint outline in front of me. His figure swayed from side to side as he ventured deeper into the house. I followed, albeit a little slowly, as I felt around for obstacles. I didn’t want to make any noise or worse, stub my toe.

But we didn't have to travel far.

I had scarcely taken five steps before a loud crash deafened both of us. Jake jumped backwards in shock - right into me, and we both collapsed onto the ground.

At the same time, I felt a wave of warm air wash over me, as a huge shape flew above us and crashed into the wall behind.

I pushed Jake’s cold sweaty hands from my face, and opened my eyes to find the entire room flooded with light.

We were lying in the middle of what’s supposed to be the living room. The place was in a mess - it’s clear that he hasn’t had any guests over for quite some time. Multiple sheets of newspapers were laid all over the floor, and what little furniture he has were covered with transparent plastic sheets. My gaze rested on the small coffee table beside me - underneath the plastic, I could make out numerous stain marks, and an abundance of small scratch marks - similar to those found on the front door.

I tilted my head upwards to see what had flown past us.

Holy shit - it was the Rancid Reaper himself, only this time, he was missing his characteristic stained wife beater. Instead, he was naked from his waist up, exposing his saggy boobs in their full wrinkly, hairy glory. He lay in a crumpled heap at the foot of the wall, bleeding from many cuts all over his body. I think he may have crashed into the wall a little too hard.

Oh, and in the process of falling over, I might have kneed Jake in the head. Hard. He’s not responding, and his right temple seems a little red.

Shit man, what happened?

I turned to face the front, where the light was coming from.

The bottom half of the door clung on the lower hinges of the doorway before us; the upper half of the door was exploded into hundreds of splinters spread all over the floor. Huge chunks of plaster and drywall had fallen off the neighbouring part of the wall, leaving behind huge holes and sending huge cracks outwards - I certainly hope that wasn’t a load bearing wall.

And standing in the room was the petite woman that Jake had budged in here for. Only thing is….she isn’t petite anymore. Or even a woman, for that matter.

Normally, her long flowing hair hung over her face, obscuring her features. Today, she brushed her hair back behind her ears, finally giving me a clear look at her face. Her huge almond-brown eyes bore into me, a steely gaze that never wavered in intensity; her nose was narrow and sharp; her lips were pressed into a thin line, as if she was pissed at our entrance. Her cheekbones were oblique and prominent, and coupled with her pronounced jawline, gave an impression of a stern, headstrong lady. Her skin dazzled in the light, the porcelain white a stark contrast to her distinctive  tight black dress.

Usually when I walked past her, her head came up to my shoulder - but now her hair was brushing the ceiling. As my gaze travelled downwards, I was prepared to see her standing precariously on some furniture, maybe an unstable swivel chair. Instead, her dress gave way to….a torso?

While the skin on her arms and face were smooth and unblemished, the skin below was dotted with pockmarks and discolourations, not unlike humongous acne scars. It gradually got darker and hairier, until it lost all semblance of human skin, and melted into a….spider’s abdomen?

Her monstrous behind was larger than the entirety of her human upper half, and took up almost the entire back half of the room. It was covered in bands of black and light grey fur. As her abdomen throbbed rhythmically, the hair swayed in cadence, filling the air with soft rustling sound.

However, her legs weren’t covered in hair, but were encased in a hard, shiny shell. They were sleek and well-built, each segment roughly the size of my thigh. There were also spikes near the end of each leg - they glinted menacingly in the light, ready to tear any prey to shreds.

She started walking towards us, her spider limbs making ominous clicking sounds with every strike against the smooth marble floor. As she advanced, her upper body swayed from side to side while her stare focused squarely on my face, like a snake sizing up its opponent. I don’t like the way she’s looking at me - I’m scared of the way she’s looking at me.

I swallowed nervously and pushed Jake’s limp body off, frantically trying to get away. I would save him if he was conscious, but since he was out cold, I figured I would do the “get help” part instead.

Just as I untangled myself from his limbs, I heard a familiar sound from the room. A feeble gargle, shaky and reedy, fearful of its surroundings. It was a far cry from the horrors that rocked my bedroom, but I still recognised it - it had the same inflections, the same wetness that evoked feelings of disgust.

Spider-Woman immediately broke off her stare, her attention redirected to the source of the cry. She backed into the room, and bent to the side, where the wall hid her from view.

There were a few more gargles, interspersed by….cooing and kissing? I looked on, bewildered, as her abdomen paced around in that constrained space. It took a while before she pushed a pink stroller into view, then scooped something up from the side and put it inside - Oh. My. Fucking. God.

The thing in her hands was hideous.

It was about the size of a human baby, but….the bottom half looked like a spider, while the top half looked kinda like a human. It was essentially a miniature of Spider-Woman - a nymph, I think that’s what you call it. The spider part was grey, with thick clumps of mucus covering it. Its eight legs weren’t that developed yet: they were lined with myriad little bumps and were perpetually curled up. The entire abdomen looked squishy.

I thought it was hard to top that, but the human-like torso was even more disgusting. The entire trunk was cocooned in a white slimy sac that was dotted with multiple black spots. It quivered with every breath that the freak took, and I think it had arms under that covering, because sometimes that cocoon would expand in weird angles. The head wasn’t covered with the sac, but still boasted a lot of the same slime. The eyes were scrunched shut; the nose was extraordinarily small, and the nostrils were wrinkled, like little repulsive anuses; the mouth was a lipless slit that spanned the entire face, as if a cleaver had been used to chop the head almost the whole way through.

Spider-Woman put the little abomination into the stroller, which it didn’t like very much, as evidenced from its fucked-up little frown. It scrunched its eyes up even more, wrinkled its forehead, and flared its tiny anus-nostrils to take a deep breath.

Then it opened its mouth, revealing….a thin white film, not unlike the one covering its body. It effectively sealed the entire opening/ I was instantly reminded of a scene in the first Matrix movie, where Neo’s mouth was sealed shut by a membrane by the Agents in the interrogation room. It looked just like that - only this time, it was far slimier, and much more gross.

When it exhaled, the mouth-film swelled up, before the tremendous pressure ripped it open in the centre. The drooping edges flopped about violently, producing a familiar wet, disgusting rattling sound that waxed and waned with the infant’s shaky breath.

So that’s where the gargles came from. That was the cause of countless sleepless nights, the accursed source of all my troubles.

I feel like lunging forward and punching the shit out of that vile shitbag, but the intimidating presence of the Spider-Woman suppressed that violent urge. She bent over the handles to give it a little kiss, momentarily placating the annoying little bugger.

Then she started walking towards me.

I shook myself out of my dazed state, and turned around to flee, only to comically hit my head hard on the armchair right behind me. That impact sent me back down to the floor, clutching my throbbing forehead.

Behind me, I could hear the squeaking of the stroller’s wheels, as it protested under the weight of the baby. There was also the same sinister clicking of adult spider legs against the hard floor….which grew less frequent, and started to resemble the familiar clicking of heels.

Confused, I opened one eye, to watch something even more bizarre than anything I’ve seen so far.

As the woman approached me, her body started changing. Her spider-abdomen was growing smaller: its grey and black bands were thinning, and also changing into a lighter shade of….nah, all the spider-parts were turning beige.

The back six of her legs curled up slowly and retracted back into her shrinking backside, while the front two had begun a weird transformation process. The hard, shiny shell gradually turned into soft, fair skin; the spikes flattened out; the claws at the end of the legs turned into her characteristic black heels. Both legs also grew shorter, lowering her outrageous height into a more diminutive stature.

She was morphing back into a human.

She parked the stroller beside me, and I was instantly reminded of why we called the old man the Rancid Reaper. I hadn’t smelt it that much so far - but now, with the pram next to me, the odour hit me in full force. I immediately gagged on the smell, patting my chest in an attempt to keep my stomach contents where they were.

The repulsive infant leaned over the side of the pram, sinking its claws deep into the white ring of plastic at the top - so that’s what created the thousands of little slits I’ve been seeing all over the place. Its eyelids were opened, revealing black beady orbs that stared intensely at me. Its predatory gaze raked me from head to toe, as if it was mentally devouring me.

I didn’t want to look at the heinous hellspawn anymore, but there was this devilish aura around it that demanded my attention. Turning away from it only sent waves of unease rippling through my body.

The plastic creaked in protest as the creature pulled itself up, and leaned over the edge of the stroller. It opened its mouth, and once again, I was subjected to the horrid sight of its open maw. Only this time, it was mere inches from my face, so I could make out details that I didn’t really want to see. Stinking globs of saliva swayed perilously at both sides of the mouth, ready to drop down on my fresh pants. Hundreds of minuscule bubbles were spread out across the translucent membrane, which quivered erratically as it swelled out towards me.

Like before, a large gaping hole ripped open abruptly in the middle. I caught a brief glimpse of rows upon rows of sharp protrusions lining the inside of the mouth, before I raised my hands to shield myself from the globules of slime raining down on my face. Almost immediately, I fell back down on the floor in the foul-smelling pool of gunk, covering my ears from its deafening cry.

As the freak raged above me, my eyes fell on the scene behind the pram. The woman was standing over the Rancid Reaper, whom by now was awake, and panicking. They were conversing, I think - I couldn’t hear them but I could see their lips moving. Rancid Reaper was gesticulating frantically, alternating between looking at the pram and staring fearfully at her.

She raised her hand high above her head, and brought it down on him with a smack so loud, I could hear it above the infernal racket. The old man’s head slumped forward, unconscious - no no no, that’s not unconscious. I don’t think it’s humanely possible to bend one’s neck at that angle.

I think she just broke his neck. With just one slap.

She sauntered back to the stroller, and gently pushed her child back into the comforts of the pram.

“Sorry about my baby, he’s not seen his mama for a long time.” Out of the two voices I heard earlier in the room, hers was the deeper and raspier one. It was coarse and jarring, piercing my ears like the sound of nails on a chalkboard; and also loud and booming, reverberating around the room with an ethereal feel.

She grabbed Jake’s limp leg and hoisted him onto her shoulder effortlessly. “He’s got a crush on me, hasn’t he?” She smirked. “I’ll need a new mate.”

She raised her hand high above her head, ready for another one of those slaps. I closed my eyes.

    Jake’s been missing for a few days. He hasn’t come back to his room ever since. I’m kinda worried - I don’t exactly like him, but I don’t want him to die or anything like that. The police has been looking for him, even sticking up posters with his face, but tough luck so far.

Han was the one who called the police. He had returned home from his night shift to find the entire corridor covered in white goo and stinking to high heaven, and both of our doors ajar. The smell kept him out of the Reaper’s flat, but he could see the mess inside and did what he was supposed to do.

The police interrogated me, of course. I was the last living person to see them both - I was lucky that she just chose to knock me out. They doubted my story - no surprise there. Who the hell would believe that an old man fucked a spider-demon, stole the resulting child, get attacked by the said demon, and end up getting himself killed and causing a neighbour to go missing?

But there was evidence to support my claim - the slime covering the entire crime scene was hard to miss, together with the smell, the scratches….and also a convenient surveillance camera at the lift lobby that caught her escape on tape.

They still find it hard to believe my story though, and I’m still a suspect in the case. I don’t blame them - this thing has been quite surreal, and traumatising. I can’t erase the memory of the loud smack and the twisted neck of the old man, nor can I forget the whole morphing-from-monster-into-human thing. I’m taking a break from school - from going out, actually - to get over this whole ordeal. Han used to be very quiet, but he’s talking a lot more now, trying to be a good friend and getting my mind off things. My newfound peace and quiet is helping a lot, too.

Just one thing though - just two days ago, Han was waiting to cross the junction, when he noticed a convertible with its roof down. The driver was a woman, clad in a tight black dress, with long hair that covered her face. She was leaning over to the passenger side, talking animatedly with her companion, frequently caressing his face. He didn’t really respond - he just sat there looking to the front, with a blank look on his face.

Han thought he looked like Jake. He had the same hair, same clothes, same face - same everything, really.

I said he was shitting me, but I pressed him to describe the woman.

Tight black dress. Short and slim. Long hair that obscured her face, but as she drove past, the wind lifted her hair. He didn’t get a really good look, but he remembered she had high cheekbones and a chiseled jawline.

I don’t know man. I just don’t know.