#and i hate to say it but trust glenn knows who i am. he's talking to some gay kid way obsessed with the meta of his show

[charmac]

How are you feeling about S17? I'm getting reaaal worried that it's going to be terrible. No Glenn in the writers room? A crossover episode?? Rob's gradual transformation into pondslime??? Help

Pondslime 😭Lmfao

I'm feeling more than fine about 17, really truly. I don't think anyone should be worried at all.

I think sometimes my interactions with Glenn come off a little more serious or abrasive than they really happened in real life (because we have to shout due to how loud it is in the bars), and my immediate transcription is just to get people *information*, which really doesn't convey tone.

For example, reporting that Glenn said "you don't want to know" in response to me asking for any teasers (as to plots this season) was met with a lot of "oh so this season is gonna suck" on Twitter, and that could not be further than the truth (sorry to the people I split-react blocked for saying that lol). In hindsight I get the reaction, because written out it's a response that can be easily misinterpreted and reads as potentially concerning, but know that when Glenn said "you don't want to know" he looked like this:

And when I was genuinely just asking for script information (regarding writers of individual scripts after he mentioned they had broken already) and mentioned Nina (Inflates) and Ross (DTAMHD), he gushed about both of them and then said, transcribed word for word, "It's been a good room, I'll say this it's been a great room. It's been an all-star room, it's been...like, breaking the stories this year has been really fun. [Me: Yeah?] Yeah. [That's great, that is great to hear.] It's been really fun."

So the idea of "no Glenn in the writers room" is really much more akin to Season 16 than 13/14. He was there to break stories (meaning he was in the room when they were brainstorming plot ideas and when they settled on which plots would be turned into scripts) but Rob and Charlie are taking the brunt of writing their (RCG's) scripts because of Sirens. This is the same thing that happened with The Gang Goes Bowling. Glenn's name is on the script, but Rob and Charlie wrote the majority of it while Glenn was shooting Blackberry. (I remember originally being convinced it was a mistake Glenn was listed as a writer for Bowling, lmfao). And Glenn is definitely still contributing, will be on revisions for the non-RCG scripts, and will classically change or improv whatever he thinks is best for Dennis when he's on set (see: the Risk E. Rats script).

Also, I know the crossover is concerning to a lot of people just given the nature of it, but as of what we know right now it's only on Abbott, so it's really just as if this season's The Gang Cracks the Liberty Bell or The Janitor Always Mops Twice took place on a different show instead of ours...

I promise promise promise Glenn was clearly holding his tongue for good things coming up, and Friday night very much restored my confidence that Season 17 will be good. (But..if you don't think Glenn has good contributions to Sunny or understands the agenda, then sorry this response probably sucks lmfao)

[sporadicarbitergardener]

October 3, 2023

Even as a woman who knows how to rap and sing holding your head up means each day trying something new. Learning natural remedies to get by and survive.

Letting go of the past helps to rebuild a future. Love will never have a title, or even a label on it. Love covers multitude of sins because well love is a big thing and everyone wants soemthing from you.

Your own family will even take from you for their own blessings. Nots a child's father though because well not even for a new woman. My life will Never go into another womans pockets to benefit her. Thats what you call a string theroy. Another female will do anything she can to build a case on a man or even manipulate about a mans past as well. Its crazy. Females lie and do as they are coached by even their own mommas because of groups, packs etc. I raised alot of wolves, thats the oath as a God mother. No matter what anyone says to me . I know my life and I view things . Sometimes we all do a job without getting paid because well even working 2 jobs with a child on my hip was easy for me. Truth women are suppose to stay home. RIght now its the year for women to reflect and fall back and chill out because alot of women like to be messy and evil. To get back at ex boyfriends or even the baby mommas of a cukoo babys father. Lawyers are drawing up and even sueing and talking shit because money became the rue of all evil. Sometimes you have to even watch your exboyfriends back . Love is there with loyalty. Loyalty is huge. Bigger than what any check can buy. My father always carried a wait on his shoulder and well im carrying it as well.

Love is confusing but reflecting on my dads past back with Mrs. Karen Smith my old counselor Mrs. Katherine Blankenship "found". Who always kept notes of my life she translated my way of expressing how I seen ghost to my father.

Momma Kat even looked at him worried as well. He looked at me and said "Her momma played with playing cards."

Glenn Ray Seymour never raped me or used me he actually always gave me money behind momma cats back because she kept his ass straight and always in check. She always felt that I hated her when I didn't maturing and getting older before he got arrested July 22, 2009 I remember seeing her lock herself in the room because my dad was having addiction issues. He broke her heart, and trust. When they investigated his case she asked me if I wanted to stay in her custody because she did love me. Now that I am off the meth and being very honest not caring anymore because at the end of the day truth is needed. Love is seen differently now and getting older. Looking into how I see things differently getting older it brings pain I never realized because sometimes its amazing that my dad had her as a wife as well she was trying her best to keep him away from things that felt toxic best of her knowledge. I was a asshole back in 2017 when my grandmother " Jackie Lachney died and I blew up on this women as well. Her wisdom she taught me really has hit me again. I was always wise with my father's money because I even thought about my two other baby brothers future.

Thats love from a far. Money can't replace a father.

Or even a mother. Really realizing blood will never matter when I reflect. If my daddy wasn't silly and trying to be something different he would have never got in trouble. Before the age of 12 children can see ghosts. Yeah, when a women says she can feel spirits or see ghosts makes the eye of even men look at women crazy because of spirituality reasoning.

No matter what we do even as a baby momma , your suppose to watch from a distance over family because knowing alot of people can be scary . Now when its blood. Noone has the right to say fuck because family is family and man or woman either need to learn to adapt to the family or get the hell because as life goes on love will never be forgotten. I was always taught keep your head up. Pain hurts and emotions over turmoil alot but that is why there is techniques that you pick up on life to let that pain out because no matter what anyone says. Family means no matter what . Vengeance is evil. Thats why as life goes on . You learn to let things go because you never really know who really has your back behind a screen.

[sowritten]

𝐃𝐎  𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄

who wants a bite of me?

listen babe, nothing is as it seems.

god, you sound like you want to wear her skin.

do you think I did too much?

do you want me to push her in the pool? do you want me to light her hair on fire?

you look incredible tonight.

how could you do this to me?

baby, come on. I would never do this.

channel that anger into getting what you want.

why would he do this to me?

I hated myself for letting my guard down.

peaking in high school is cringe.

you have a really weird energy.

I don’t need your pity.

you insufferable cunt! I know you did this!

I don’t even do cocaine!

you think I framed you?

do you still not want my pity?

I know what it’s like to get screwed over by someone you thought you could trust.

you really had that pent-up, huh?

you look like you want a grilled cheese. let’s get you a grilled cheese.

I thought you were gonna put out a hit on me or something.

okay, I’ll just go fuck myself.

to be honest, I’m still recovering.

I just want to say how sorry I am for what happened to you last year.

oh, I’m sorry ‘school house rock’, are you dragging my sentence structure right now?

we won’t get caught, that’s the whole point.

I don’t want to make her pay. I want to burn her to the ground.

you’re giving off some serious glenn close in fatal attraction energy right now.

I can ruin her in my sleep.

I’m Frankenstein, and you’re Frankenstein’s bad bitch.

your new vibe is high-status cunt.

sometimes you have to pretend to be someone else to get what you want.

oh my god, don’t be so dramatic.

you called me a human birkenstock.

I’ve always been very intrigued by what you do here.

cool.

my ex-girlfriend is mad that I hooked up with my ex-boyfriend.

make revenge mommy proud.

are you stalking me?

I like your shirt. did it come with a bag of granola and a matching pair of Tevas?

what are you doing here?

that’s the exciting part of getting to know someone; you’re a mystery until you’re not.

the orgy usually starts around sundown.

can we talk about it, please?

well, we’re not having sex. you can go fuck yourself.

tell me something nobody knows about you.

I’m interesting, and you want to impress me.

what do you want to be?

we’re all just performing.

this feels illegal.

I want her to hit me with her Tesla and then reverse back over me.

I want her to stuff me like a taxidermy doll and then mount me on her wall like a prize.

I want her to hide my body in the woods and then start the search party trying to find me.

I am so proud of you. this is going to be the best night ever.

I feel like a little butterfly!

it’s called double assurance, sweetie. look it up.

are you on mushrooms?

your instincts were right.

you know you don’t have to be brave with me.

this sucks. it’s allowed to suck.

do you think I’ll feel better?

I’m just so angry all the time.

sometimes it just hurts to exist, you know?

I just want to feel normal again.

I like you; you’re just like me.

I didn’t know you were an artist.

rude... but fair.

don’t equate your worth to some archaic idea of what the best means.

can I say something that might make you very uncomfortable?

I’m shocked! this is shocking news!

we’re casting spells tonight, bitch.

ban men!

get in there and eat that ass, is what I’m saying!

don’t do that! don’t pity me, and definitely don’t touch me!

I lost everything! fucking everything!

they need to feel the consequences of what they did to me.

they have to pay. all of them.

I feel like I’m being eaten alive from the inside, actually.

do you ever look around and just think, how did I get here?

all this shit, it’s just armour.

I really like you. I wanna tell you everything.

everything I thought I hated was exactly what I always wanted.

what’s going on in that head of yours?

I just need a little distraction from all the stress.

can’t we put all this ugliness aside?

I think you handled that very well.

nice entrance.

what do you think you’re doing?

you don’t even answer my texts!

those people do not care about you.

they’re not your friends.

oh my god, you’re pathetic.

none of this is real!

are you any different from them?

are you sure? there’s never been any evidence.

I mean this from the bottom of my heart: fuck you.

did you overhear that?

you said some pretty messed up stuff out there.

someone was probably messing with you.

from the bottom of my heart, I wish you nothing but the worst for the rest of your miserable fucking existence.

I love your ear balls.

sleep with one eye open, bitch.

I’ve had the upper hand the entire time.

you made this pretty easy, I gotta say.

you’ll never get away with this.

I didn’t eat. I didn’t sleep anymore.

where does this game end?

there is nothing else you can take away from me.

I’m going to make sure that you’re stuck with your pain forever, because I am stuck with mine.

if you want to ruin me, go ahead. I’m not helping you.

I promise I can explain.

I had no choice!

do you ever think about anyone other than yourself?

I really wanted this to work, but it just doesn’t.

I was deciding between this and elsa, but I kind of thought you weren’t an elsa person, although you are a frigid bitch.

I’m sorry that I hit you with my car.

there’s nothing vapid people love more than making other peoples’ tragedies about them.

don’t cry. it’s alright.

I wish it could have been different.

what should have felt exhilarating just felt rotten.

how did you know I’d be here?

I miss you.

it shouldn’t have taken an accident for me to realize that, and I’m sorry.

I think you’re lucky.

I don’t feel free. I feel like I got hit by a car.

I give up. I’m done.

show everybody what a bad bitch looks like.

I created you, and I can just as easily destroy you.

I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.

we can’t erase what we did to each other, but I don’t want to hurt you anymore.

you might be the only real friend I’ve ever had.

I will regret what I did to you forever.

I’m sorry.... for everything.

did you just enter doing a slow clap, you cliché piece of shit?

you really are the devil.

I thought we had a whole will-they, won’t-they thing going on.

where are you going with this?

I know all your secrets now.

no one would’ve given a shit about you if it wasn’t for me.

why the fuck are you laughing?

goddamn do I love you right now.

I think we might be fucked-up soulmates.

you are a very lucky girl.

fuck you. we’re over.

I think you should leave.

I don’t want to be that person anymore.

everything you’ve done, everything that’s happened to you, has brought you to this moment.

fuck figuring out who you’re meant to be. stay lost as long as you can.

I wanted to do something cute, like a grand gesture.

[yannadere]

daryl dixon, shane walsh and glenn rhee (separate) reacting to their s/o getting bit

cw: loss, depression, unhealthy coping, suicide, angst, hurt/comfort

Daryl Dixon:

you're scared to tell him

he's lost so much even before the apocalypse, you don't want to hurt him

trying to distance yourself from daryl doesn't work at all

he just gets worried, which comes across as him being angry, and he clings to you

poor bby has abandonment issues

it's a few days after you get bit when you finally tell him, you already feel your health deteriorating but you hold up for him

you tell him when he's getting ready to settle for the night

bc evenings with you are when he's the most calm

"hey, daryl?" you mumble, and he hums softly, eyes still closed. "hey, look at me. i have to tell you something." you sigh, nudging his arm with your uninjured hand. "what?" he groans, finally looking at you. "i.. my hand isn't just cut, daryl..." you sigh, unraveling the bandages. "what'dya mean?" daryl's brows furrow, eyes falling onto the bandages as they fall.

his blood goes cold, and he sits up suddenly and grabs your wrist to observe the nasty bite on the side of your hand, between your thumb and forefinger. "damn it, why didn't you tell me?!" he snaps, stopping to take a breath as you flinch back slightly. "c'mere..." he sighs, pulling you into a tight hug. "i'm so sorry..." you whisper clutching his shirt tightly. "sh, it's okay... i... when you go, i'll be here."

"daryl... you shouldn't have to do that..." you close your eyes, tears slowly falling. "nah. it's fine. i... i wanna do it. i don't trust anyone else to. not even you." he holds you tighter, kissing your neck gently.

"i'm so sorry, daryl... i was being stupid, i-" he silences you, moving away and pressing his forehead against yours. "don't blame yourself. i knew something like this would happen eventually... i put merle down, had a feeling either of us would go next." he gently cups your face with his hands, wiping your cheeks and nuzzling his nose against yours affectionately.

"i don't want to put you through this, daryl." you cry, going to leave when he pulls you back. "don't leave... please don't leave..." daryl begs, pulling you back to him and letting your body fall limp against his. you let out a small sob, wrapping your arms around his middle as your head rests on his shoulder, tears dampening his shirt.

"it'll be okay. i'll take care of it. for now, get some rest. i'll be here when you wake up." he kisses your cheek, waiting for you to calm down. you sniffle, holding him tightly. "i'm so sorry..!" you repeat the words over and over, and he closes his eyes, trying not to cry himself.

"shh... please... don't be sorry." his voice wavers and he hates it. "just sleep, darlin'... i'm right here." you whimper before falling quiet, resting your hand on his jaw and nuzzling into his neck. "i love you, okay..? i didn't want it to be this way." you breathe out, letting him lean onto you slightly. "i know. i know. just sleep for me, darling." he sniffles, cradling you close as you fall asleep slowly, knowing it would be the last time.

you fall asleep in his arms, but he can't bring himself to harm you

so, he tells rick, who's also upset upon the news

however his best friend's distress makes it even worse

so, rick does it for him as the others try to comfort daryl

after your death, he becomes reckless and depressed, not eating or drinking at all and becoming skinny and malnourished

he shoots openly at walkers, and when his ammo's out he takes out his anger on other walkers in other ways

whether it's stabbing them, bludgeoning them, or just hitting their bodies after they fall.

rick decides to put him under close watch to ensure he doesn't harm himself

but daryl's rather experienced in sneaking out/away, and he visits your grave often

unfortunately one morning, rick finds him at your grave with a bullet in his head

he's buried next to you, as rick knows it's what daryl craved

to be with you again.

Shane Walsh:

you got bit on the way back from gathering medical supplies for carl

and with shane you knew there was no way he would take well at any time of the day

so you decide to rip the bandaid off and talk to him an hour after your own little grieving session.

you approach him when he's talking to the small group, asking him for a private talk, saying it's important

so, of course, he's worried, as are the group

you take him behind the barn and hug him

he's genuinely confused as to why you're acting like this

deadass asks you if you're expecting or smth

you hate to break his heart

"so why did you bring me back here?" shane asks, crossing his arms and cocking a hip. "shane... i'm sorry." you sigh, pulling the collar of your shirt to reveal the bloody bite on your shoulder.

he's speechless, blinking a few times before almost collapsing. you yelp, catching your boyfriend quickly, but fall under his weight. on the floor behind the barn, shane closes his eyes, crying as he holds you tight. "shane... don't cry. it's okay..." you try your best to smile, cupping his face and wiping his tears.

"this isn't okay..! baby, you're not okay!" he sobs, cupping the back of your head and pulling you closer. "shane- baby, stop crying... it's okay." you sniffle, smiling through your own tears as you kiss his jaw lovingly

shane tries to gather himself, but his whole world feels like it's collapsing. "shh, shh... c'mon, let's get you some water." you grab his hands, trying to pull him up. slowly easing him onto his feet, you help shane back to the house. rick spots you two immediately, stumbling to help you both. "shane-?"

"rick..!" shane is clearly distraught, and his best friend latches onto him quickly to try and calm him down. "shshsh- hey, look at me." rick soothes, and you stand back slightly, trying to calm your nerves. "what happened?" rick demands, eyes steeling as he stares at you. "rick- it's not-" you try to explain what happened, when shane answers for you. "they got bit! my baby got bit..!" shane sobs, knees feeling weak as he almost collapses again.

rick processes the information, looking at you in shock. lori overhears, muttering a fast "oh my god..!" as she approaches the three of you. "how did this happen?!" rick asks, trying to support shane fully. "i was in a rush, i got grabbed and..." you trail off, moving over to comfort shane who can't calm down at all.

"he needs to sit down..." you say softly, glancing at hershel who was observing from his porch. "come, sit him down inside. i'll get him some water." hershel guides you and you help shane in with the aid of rick. flopping down onto a couch, shane can't seem to catch his breath, so you crouch in front of him to cup his face, whispering comforting words to him. "baby... i'm so sorry, it should of been me..!" shane cries, and you hush him quickly. "don't you dare say that, shane walsh." you scold, pulling him into a tight hug.

"never blame yourself for my death. i wouldn't rest easy if you did." you sigh, smoothing his hair and kissing his temple. rick stands anxiously nearby, and you sense his worry. "sit, rick. relax... i've got this." you nod at him, and he nods stiffly, taking a seat of his own when lori pipes up. "when do you think you'll turn?" she asks, and you freeze. "lori-!" "i'm just thinking ahead, rick!"

shane becomes more distraught by her words, clinging onto you tightly. "shh, it's okay... i'm here, bubs." you sigh, cradling him impossibly closer. "the hell's goin' on?" maggie asks, confused as ever. "not now, please..." rick sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. "right..." she mumbles, leaving as hershel comes back with some water. "here, drink some of this, son." he nods, giving the glass to you so shane could take it.

after taking a few sips, shane goes back to codding you, slowly winding down. "there you go, just breathe." you smile, kissing him gently. "i'm sorry i couldn't protect you..!" shane hiccups, nuzzling your neck. "shh. don't say that..!" you sigh, holding him tighter. your boyfriend whines softly, and rick closes his eyes with a pained sigh.

you last a few more days before turning, spending your time slowly becoming more sick with shane next to you all the while.

when you turn, shane is devastated, holding your head as you stare up at him with discoloured eyes

he ignores how you try to bite him after a few minutes of your brain losing all memory of him, and his tears drip down onto your face

rick walks in, and sighs. he knew it would happen eventually... everyone did.

shane holds you for a few minutes. you were slowly gaining strength but he was always stronger.

the room is silent except for you little noises, and shane finally accepts this fate when rick puts a hand on his shoulder.

"let me do it..." his best friend gruffly says, and shane shakes his head. "leave 'em be, rick... just for a little while longer..." shane begs, and rick sighs, looking away briefly.

"you know i can't do that. if you or anyone get bit-" "rick, i am asking you nicely. leave."

he spends a few days with you in walker form, and it scares everyone. lori tries to convince him that you're not there anymore, a hollow vessel of what you once were but he wont buy it.

he loves you too much to believe anything like that, or hurt you. to him, you're still his darling, his everything who held him when times got tough.

you scratch at his arms, not even breaking skin due to your blunt nails, and he doesn't mind.

finally, with a few kisses around your pale, sunken face, and a final kiss to your lips that he forced closed- shane raises his gun.

he hesitates, letting you get the jump on him, but he grabs your jaw before you can do anything

the sudden commotion makes rick fly in, only to see you lifeless once more in shane's arms.

Glenn Rhee:

unlike the other two, he watches you get bit.

he's completely distraught as the rest of the group fight off the walkers whilst he makes his way to you

he rams the zombie with all his strength, knocking it down before shooting it

you've collapsed, sat back against the car door as blood seeps from your cheek, whimpering in pain and holding the gash with your blood-soaked hands.

he's crying before he knows it, dropping down next to you and carefully covering your cheek with his shaky hands.

he tries to reassure you, and himself, that you'll be fine and won't get infected,

but the sad look in your eyes confirm that you're not making it to the date he wanted to take you on tomorrow

as you slowly bleed out, he tries to tell you stories, to keep himself calm as you slowly die.

"hey, remember when..?" you're not paying attention, just admiring him as you move your hands to cup his face.

"i love you.." you croak with a small smile, and he smiles sadly, sobbing all the while.

the others have to watch, all waiting for the inevitable

"please don't leave me... please, i need you." glenn pleads, and you smile sadly.

he's pressing kisses to your forehead as you hold him close, your blood staining his hands, arms and shirt

"baby...?" glenn mumbles softly, sitting with you leant against him. "i'm still here, darling..." you whisper, gripping his shirt tightly. "i'm gonna miss you..." glenn sniffles, kissing the top of your head gently. "me too. i'll always be with you, okay. when i go, i don't want you to be sad. i want you to keep going, to find happiness again, even if it means finding love in another. i want the best for you." you smile, despite the ache in your cheek.

glenn breathes out as his eyes close, his tears still falling. "i could never replace you like that..." he whimpers, fingers curling into your hair as he holds you closer. "baby, don't cry... don't cry, because i'll cry." you try to laugh, and glenn laughs too, gently rubbing your uninjured cheek.

"glenn, we've got to, y'know..." rosita sighs, but glenn shakes his head. "no! we don't kill the living..!" glenn protests, his hold turning protective. "right, right... okay." she fakes surrender, walking away.

when you pass, glenn just knows. he doesn't even look at you. he can't bring himself to.

however, when you turn, he doesn't even bother to restrain you, just holding you close as you bite into his neck.

abraham shouts in alarm, shooting you instantly, and glenn cries as you fall, cupping your face and leaning down to press his forehead against you.

the group is distraught, but glenn just lets everything happen, telling them to leave him be, move on.

abraham gives him a spare pistol, and glenn takes it with a nod.

the group leaves, and glenn knows what he has to do. so, he opens the car door, slipping you into the car easily

he gets in himself, closing the door so walkers wouldn't chew on you or him.

alas, glenn admires the gun before pressing it to his chin.

[nightcrawlerzincorporated]

Yo sorry to bother you about this but I’m genuinely kind of annoyed right now. I know "Rob can't act" is like a joke among the fandom but it actually kind of harmed my experience of watching Sunny. Maybe it's my fault for listening to random people's opinions but when I first joined Sunnyblr a year ago a lot of bigger blogs were really fond of pushing that narrative (I think bc a lot of people just really don't like him). It's just disappointing to see how the access point into this space includes a lot of people telling you that Rob can't act and you're an idiot if you like him or his work and it completely warped my perception of Sunny as a show and Mac as a character. I learned not to trust Rob and his choices when playing Mac and now I am very pissed off that I spent all that time not taking him as seriously. I think I've managed to filter out the unnecessary Rob hatred because I haven't seen it in a while but I didn't realize how ingrained it was in my head until the Liberty Bell podcast episode when they were talking about Rob's incredible performance, and then I watched Mythic Quest and that show changed my entire life. I don't mean to make a whole big deal out of what is mostly a joke in the fandom but like...it heavily affected my very first watch of Sunny and I am. so irritated

I actually have so many thoughts about this.

So the way I see it, a combination of several things happened all in conjunction with each other: Rob always calls himself the worst actor of the three, which to me just reads as him being insecure, but him saying that makes the idea stick in people's heads and makes them look for reasons he's a bad actor. Our brains are giant pattern machines, so when the brain gets new information like "I'm the worst actor" it looks for ways to process the new information, which means your brain is going, "hey, be on the look out for this guy being a bad actor" in a way it isn't doing for the other actors. I mean maybe this is definitely projecting, but it reminds me of when I first started writing "professionally" (I freelance) and I would worry that my work wasn't good, so I would tell clients "I know it's not that good", "I know someone else could've done better", "I know this part doesn't make sense", etc and it would just make them have no confidence in me and so they would agree and complain about my writing! But then my therapist told me to stop doing that, that it's not actually more honest or more humble or whatever to self-deprecate, and once I stopped saying that stuff I got way more compliments and way fewer complaints AND way more recommendations and way more clients as a result. Things I thought were "obvious flaws" it turns out people only noticed when I pointed to it and said "this is a flaw!". So I think there's some of that happening.

Another factor is that a lot of people didn't like how Mac was written in season 13. But instead of saying, "the writing team collectively decided to write Mac in a way we don't like this season", a lot of people placed the sole blame on Rob as the actor who portrays him. And I think part of that is that a lot of people were waiting a long time for Mac to come out (I wasn't a part of the tumblr fandom back then but I was a fan of the show and I. For real thought he was just never gonna come out lol I remember Glenn specifically really wanted Mac to stay in the closet because he thought it was funnier so I was like ok. Guess this character is just in the closet forever. Hero or Hate Crime? I remember watching as it aired and genuinely being so shocked Mac didn't go back in the closet at the end, especially after Goes to Hell which I also watched live and was convinced was the ultimate proof it was never gonna happen lol) and so they had a lot of expectations of how Mac would or wouldn't change after coming out because there had been so many years of build up and will-he-wont-he about the whole thing. Hell, I wasn’t really in the fandom like I said but I’m sure just like today there were people who specifically started watching after season 12 because they heard there was an out gay character. And then season 13 aired and every single character (probably because of the changes to long term writing staff) felt kind of… off. That’s the main criticism of season 13 I hear to this day, that all the characters feel wrong in it or feel like they just exist to parrot various political movements first and be character’s second. That’s not a Mac exclusive problem. BUT because Mac had the most obvious and easy to understand change (being openly gay) a lot of people latched onto that as “what made the season bad”, and latched onto Rob for “ruining the character”. Yes, both the people who complained he was “too gay” AND the people who complained he “wasn’t gay enough” did this. Suddenly, it wasn’t about the seasons’ overall writing, it was about the fact that Rob, a straight man, was doing a bad job playing a gay man. Which made it even easier for people on tumblr to justify complaining about his acting.

And that led to people going back through the seasons and criticizing his acting in other episodes too (like I talked about above, it’s that confirmation bias. Going into something actively looking for ways it’s bad makes it way easier to be overly critical). Which led to this narrative of, “Rob is and always has been a bad actor”.

Now, some of you may be screaming at your screens, “nightcrawlerzincorporated, are you seriously gonna sit here and act like the only reason people dislike Rob is season 13 and his own self-deprecation?” No! Rob has done plenty of shit worthy of ridicule. He publically supported the racist All Lives Matter movement, is (or at least was, idk how he feels about it at this exact moment I’m not inside his head) pro-NFT, and less crucially but still a factor, he says annoying shit a lot. And I don’t think we could ever get along even in some fantasy scenario where we met. I’m not trying to convince anyone they have to like Rob and I’m not saying every criticism of him is just people looking for stuff to complain about. There’s some real shit there. Probably a lot more shit than I mentioned, even. But. None of that stuff actually has anything to do with his acting. I think after fandom opinion of him started souring, it was just emotionally cleaner for a lot of people to act like Rob had very little to do with the show they liked, actually, and his acting wasn’t even good and had nothing to do with how much they loved Mac (even though… yeah sorry if you love Mac it’s at least partially because you love Rob’s acting. You’re telling me all those great faces he pulls, his improv, his delivery, his hand gestures, and his chemistry with other actors all have NOTHING to do with liking Mac as a character?) 

I completely understand your frustration with having your opinion influenced by all that mess. That’s pretty much the whole reason I don’t interact with a show’s fandom until I’ve seen the entire thing at least once through myself, because fandom opinion really can influence how you see things, even if you try not to let it. I genuinely think a lot fewer people would think of him as a bad actor if it wasn’t such a Thing in the fandom.

And yeah, I think because Ian is. Y’know a character who was clearly planned to have this whole arc and tragic backstory from the very beginning, Rob just has a lot to work with as an actor. Whereas Mac’s narrative purpose has shifted dramatically over the course of Sunny and the more tragic elements of his character were added after the fact instead of always intended, which makes the way Rob plays him feel less consistent to people, because the character is just less consistently written. When Rob’s acting is allowed to fully shine with a well thought out character like Ian, pretty much everyone agrees he’s fantastic. Plus, the Mythic Quest fandom is a lot newer and smaller and so doesn’t have almost 20 years of expectations and opinions about how these characters “should” act like Sunny does. And I think that’s why Mythic Quest fans in general tend to disagree with the Sunny fandom opinion that he’s a bad actor. Because we all know that’s not true. You’re completely valid in seeing it as a whole thing because well. It is a whole thing. Look how many thoughts I have about it just off the top of my head lol.

[slowpoke-fics]

The Run | The Good Doctor pt 3

Fandom: The Walking Dead

Pairing: Negan x Reader slow burn

Summary: You had a bit more responsibility than you'd expected, not to say you didn't know what you were doing

Warnings: none really, cussing, ooc Negan, slow burn, it's cute, I miss some and am not perfect, read at your own risk

A/N: This is part three to the Good Doctor Part 3! Thank you for being patient and I hope to have part four up much quicker. I liked this even though it's just some logistical stuff and insight, here is part two!

Maybe he thinks he can fix me, sucks for him, I'm broken beyond repair.

When you woke up, Negan had his hand on your shoulder, you immediately grabbed the gun under your pillow, holding it under his chin. He immediately grabbed the gun and twisted it out of your hands, your eyes now fully open and awake. You didn't realize he was eye level with you, how hot it was for him to control your gun like that, how hot he was staring into your eyes, waiting for your next move. You were frozen, you're not sure he equated it with anything but sleep, but he was captivating.

He laughed, hands up, "Damn, doll, just trying to fuckin' wake you up without fuckin' scaring you, see that was fuckin' pointless," his eyebrows raised as he shook the gun by the barrel at you, "you want it back or not?" You shook your head in disbelief as you took your gun and put it down, shocked that you held a gun to someone for just trying to wake you up. "I-I'm sorry, I guess it was just-" Negan laughed, "No worries, doll, at least I know you can take care of yourself."

You smiled, throwing the blanket off of you and swinging your legs over the couch, “So,” you stood up and began folding the blanket, “what’s the plan?” He watched you fold the blanket, not trying to hide the fact that his eyes roamed your body. Taking in the battered bluejeans that hugged your body, the scratched and slightly torn tank top, your hair shining against the sun, really popping the color out. “We’re going to drive a little longer than I’d hoped but,” he huffed, “the towns supposed to have some more supplies left than we’d originally thought, we should be back by dark.” You shrugged, “Should be fun, are we ready to leave now?”

Negan leaned against the desk, you took all of him in. He was wearing his classic leather jacket over the tattered t-shirt and blue jeans that laid over his steel toe boots. He watched as you put your hair into a pony tail, shirt playing peekaboo with the skin on your torso, “Right after breakfast doll. You ready?” You nodded at him, heading to the door with him following close behind.

Once you had sat down for breakfast Negan started shoveling food down, a full plate compared to your half rations. You didn’t really have much of an appetite, worried about everything that could happen with Negan today. He didn’t seem to notice, and by the time you’d finished your small plate, he was already done eating too. He grabbed your plate so he could return it with his own. You picked up the bags and followed suit, following him out the door and to his truck.

The truck was huge. Had to have been able to fit half of Alexanndria's storage. You’d wondered how much he was planning to come back with. It started to make a little more sense when a small portion of his crew jumped into the back, probably for protection. You climbed into the truck after Negan opened the door for you, closing it once he’d known your feet were out of the way. Then proceeding to climb in his own side.

Negan started the truck, taking you in before he started rolling. Your legs crossed, fingers interlocked at the top of your thighs, thumbs picking at each other, ankle continuously moving. You watched the trucks behind you, following close, at least three others. Did all of them have people in the back? How big was this run?

You were clearly nervous and he hated that, he wanted to make you as comfortable as possible. He tried to ignore it, but after fifteen minutes of non stop thought through his head, he had to say something. "God damn doll," Negan bellowed, "you're gonna roll the damn truck if you don't stop shaking so much," Negan lightly rubbed your forearm, a foreign thing to you, "what're ya so fuckin' nervous about anyway princess?"

You shrugged, a look of uneasiness resting on your face at his nickname for you that didn't go unnoticed, "Just don't know how to act with your group, what're your run rules? Where do I not be in the way? Will I distract you and your men? I'm used to going solo, or with one or two people. There's so-" Negan had to stop your monologue, knowing you've asked these questions twenty times since yesterday. "Don't fuckin' worry about it," Negan smiled, "I made sure this was gonna be fun for you." Your eyebrows curled, needing him to explain.

Negan blushed? No way, you thought and left it alone. "What do you mean?" He shrugged, "You'll see, won't you doll?" You huffed, "Well that just makes me more nervous." Negan let out a hearty laugh, "Damn girl, pull at this old assholes strings huh?" He shook his head, "I'm your personal companion today," he giggled at your slap to his arm. "I don't need a baby sitter!" He raised he hands very quickly to show defense, "No! But, wherever you go, I do. Whatever you fuckin' say, that's law. Everyone else goes at your direction too," he paused, looking at you, "but you don't leave my fuckin' sight," his eyes bore into you, demanding confirmation. "Yeah, okay," you smiled lightly.

"So," Negan's fingers drilled the steering wheel as he hummed at you to continue, "what's in this place?" Negan shifted, "It's a little town, the rest is a surprise." He looked genuinely excited, and you wondered how this apocalypse had changed him as a man. He couldn't have always been this heartless. "Do I get any hints?" Negan hummed again, this time searching for something to give you, "You'll fuckin' like it." You shrugged, "Maybe." He glanced to your bag where you keep your notebook, a gentle reminder of his broken trust. "Oh," you cleared your throat, "hopefully." He beamed at you, "Come on lil' fuckin' firecracker," he pressed the gas a couple more times, gently swerving the car to play with you, "be more fuckin' excited! I'm fuckin' kidding!"

The rest of the way you could believe how different Negan was being. He was intently talking to you about the grid of the town, what his crew already know about, how his crew has already been briefed that you're running it, explained the teams to you and that you're header, leading the team leaders, and he's told you that he's confident you have this ability. You were shocked about him being completely different man that with other people. You were sure that you could be with the man sitting in the truck with you, and you were sure that you couldn't be with the man who murdered someone you considered to be your brother. You were torn between seeing his good and never forgiving him for killing Glenn, how could he do something so vile? You shook your head, drawing attention back to the road and off of your thoughts.

When you arrived, Negan placed his hand on your thigh, just barely touching you. "There is one rule," he smiled, "stay here." Negan was gone for no more than two minutes. He finally came to your door, opening it and revealing his many men standing behind him, "Make sure you're safe." He reached for your hand, dropping you down to the same man who stole from you in your clinic, you glared him hiding behind Negan.

Negan stepped out of the way, the man looking guilty, "Hello, Doctor Y/n," he cleared his throat, "I'm sorry for stealing from an honorable woman." He handed you a gum pack, missing a few pieces, and a small pack of skittles, "I couldn't find gum to replace what I'd stolen, so I hoped that the skittles would excuse my poor manners." You smiled hatefully at him, taking what was in his hand, "Apology accepted..." you waited for him to say his name, but Negan chimed in. "Brady," and he slapped the other man on the shoulder eliciting a smile, "and Simon." You smiled, reaching your hand out to shake Simon's hand, "I've heard." Negan smiled at you, "Good we're all fuckin' aquatinted," he roughly slapped Brady's shoulder, you didn't miss the wince he tried to hide, "these two travel with us period. So, Y/n," a bright smile, "what's the fucking plan?"

With that you noticed the other men had cleared a path for you, letting you view the town. At this point you took in the town, looking at the tiny shops and small streets. Negan wasn't kidding, it's a small town, surely the four trucks you bought could fit everything. You thought for a second, and it hit you, how much work he had put into this. You smiled to yourself, knowing that he wanted to make this go smoothly for you, hence the perfect amount of trucks, a grid, briefed men.

You walked a little behind you, looking at the different streets, looking at Negan, he smiled, giving you some confidence. "You said that you'd already separated these men by trucks? With their usual teams?" You whispered to Negan, "Yes ma'am, they're with their usual team leaders and already armored, just need you to tell them where to go n what to do."

"Okay, so here's my plan-" Negan put his hand up, gesturing to the men when you realized you should be talking to them. You cleared your throat, "Okay, so here's the plan," Negan's body was just barely pressing against you, standing behind you on your left side, his hands in his pockets, watching his men intently listen to you. How hard did he work on this for you?

"If you came in Negan's truck, you're with us on main," you motioned with your hand to have them move to the side, "Truck two-or rather-team two, you're going to our left, Combs Street, when you get to the library, we're looking for education books, if we have time and space after you've gotten everything else essential on the street, comb the library taking the fun books, that's a good part of life now." Negan nodded, liking your plan for education first, noting that the houses on the street might hold value, but acknowledging that we still need distractions like 'fun books' if circumstances allowed.

"Truck three, hit the residential area, on Langley Street," you continued when the men nodded their heads, "Truck four, hit the shops to our right on second street," everyone started moving and you shouted, "wait!" You cleared your throat once again, "Team leaders, I need you and your right hand man, everyone else stay put."

You pulled out the grid as the men surrounded you, "So you've got the left and right sides on your street, split in half, half on Side A, the left, half on side B, the right, this will increase the time we can spend in the houses and avoid stepping on each others feet. Every time you clear a house you call it in, for example, team four A, you would say 'Team Four, A1 clear, moving to A2,' or 'Team Four A Trapped, requesting Four B at A3.' I need you to do this so I can designate resources and men, keep up with the lives and walkers. No need for needless death, check in." Everyone nodded, you smiled, "Anybody have questions, comments or concerns?" The men shook their heads and you turned back towards the crowd, "Alright, everyone knows what you're doing, no-one goes anywhere alone or unarmed. Take everything useful. Do not let your guard down and watch your backs. Dismissed." At that the men dissipated, going on their own assignments.

"Was that okay?" You looked to Negan, the need for approval swimming through your eyes, Negan nodded, "I think it was great, Simon what about you?" Simon chirped up, "Oh yeah, couldn't have done it better myself, I don't make them check in that much but that's okay." You smiled at Simon, wondering how he could not worry about his men that much. You watched as Team One had already started moving toward the first building, them the first check-ins started.

"Team One, heading to A1," a pause, "Team One, heading to B1," another pause, "Team Two, heading to A1." You listened to the team list off their locations, smiling as everyone checked in. "Alright, doll," Negan leaned against the truck, "Where to first?"

[shoeshineyboy]

Top Five OC Verse Momence That Made You: cry; laugh; angry; !!!! Emotion

ooooooh,,,

CRY

specifically when James comes back from being kidnapped and Iskandar clings to him for days. this is good crying but also sad crying

the one where we killed Zaim, that we didn't even ignore properly, but that is forever in my mind as a moment that fucked me up

James getting kidnapped in front of Iskandar and Aamir, honestly

the one where Rafaäl becomes mortal and. slightly overestimates his mortal strength, and Nye is the one to find him, and he and James are trying to support him while also dealing with what they saw,

Rhodri and Rebecca. just, everything, them and their daughter who died, and Rebecca never recovering, and Rhodri ending up all alone with no company other than a ghost,

LAUGH

Tiberius fucking Oleander and still managing to be homophobic about it, only to get chucked out of his house by his father wall stark bollock naked. in a similar vein, Tiberius on the verge of getting beaten up by Kai and getting a raging boner about it

Rafaäl dressing as a woman and saying he'd marry Tiberius, only to suck him off, reveal he's really a man, and make Tiberius raise a child he didn't really want. iconic actions. Tiberius suffering consequences is Always good

Kai/James high school verse, specifically any part where Kai makes fun of James for liking the Smiths

honestly? Glenn getting called "fish guy" by all of Jeanette's siblings. it just makes me laugh because I can picture his expression and I love it so much

I HATE to say it but. Tiberius accosting Rafaäl in the grocery store over his shorts, and Rafaäl threatening to smack him with his cane, and then introducing Nye to naked sunbathing within like a week of this happening

ANGRY

what Caligula did to Manchineel, and the entire trial, and how he tried to defend himself. how he was so slimy and awful the whole time, and genuinely didn't regret what he did.

that one where Rafaäl managed to escape Oleander, only for James (and Nia) to bring him to the Golden Galleon to be reunited with the man who intends to hurt him. I know I did this but it was truly dreadful on both of their parts.

that one verse we had where Kai and Ray got divorced, Kai implied Ray and Zaim were stupid because Ray put Zaim in a traditional school and Zaim got bullied for it. also, Zaim getting bullied, that was Awful

how James turned on Hyacinth when he realised he was Nye's son and not Oleander's. specifically, how he then ignored Hyacinth every time he tried to tell him what Oleander was doing

I am not belittling the situation by putting it further down, but everything about how Boris treated Kai. I just can't isolate a specific one or a specific verse, it's always just terrible

!!! EMOTION

Rye affair kicking off. I kind of wanted it when I made Nye, and then it happened!! it happened for them and I love them both dearly

specifically, when Glenn was created, when you described him and let me do the rest, and how he fits so nicely into Jeanette's life, how he's kind and gentle and respects her boundaries, and how she slowly comes to trust him, I. !!!!!

Kaimes confessions, like. all of them. specifically, the times when they share a bed and cuddle "to be like the trope", and the one where Kai invites James to prom, and the one where they try to guess each other's crushes and then end up saying (correctly) each other's names, these are all fully !!!!! emotion moments

whenever Kry makes a breakthrough in therapy or communication, honestly, because I Want them to work, even though we made them both when we weren't in fantastic places, I think they can do better, just like us!! like, whenever they get better at talking, I am just !!! because they are Improving!

when Jeanette asked Glenn to come for dinner with her, when she felt safe enough with him to spend time alone with him, like, that must've been So Much for her, and it meant a lot to him, too,

[shimmershae]

My thoughts on Episode 8--For Blood

As always, placed behind a cut for those of you that would rather escape my babbling, lol.  You’re welcome.  

Sadly, I don’t think this is anticipation I feel.  I’m pretty sure it’s dread but okay.  Here we go.  

This episode has to go up from the rock bottom boredom of last week, right?  

Let me preface what I’m about to say with the truth that I in no way hate Maggie.  She’s been with us since Season 2 and I have an emotional attachment to her, mostly due to my love of Glenn and the way he loved her.  She’s not my favorite by any means, but the fact of the matter is, I do like and appreciate her and don’t mind that she is back because it’s nice to have old familiar faces with us to take us into the final season.  That said?  Forcing Maggie front and center after her long absence ultimately, IMHO, has not worked in these first 8 episodes.  I can’t help but feel if ASZ had been the A story with Maggie/Negan and Daryl/Leah/the Reapers the B1 and B2 story?  These episodes would have been better received overall and not feel so much like they’re trying so hard.  Maybe lead me toward the water instead of shoving my head in it next time, Angela?  Hmm?  

Oh goodie.  They’re opening at Meridian.  Should I get my bathroom break out of the way now or give myself an out for later?  Call it Shae’s choice, lol.  

That flicker of a smirk Leah gave to Carver after their mini walk down memory lane had more spark to it than the entirety of her and Daryl’s toxic relationship.  In the future, maybe Angela will lean all in on them instead of Leah and Daryl.  Something tells me Leah knows this “brother” biblically.  

Daryl recognizes Whisperer moves when he sees ‘em.  Somehow, he realizes Maggie and Negan have banded together however reluctantly.  

Pope doing it “Dixon’s” way but not allowing Dixon to do the actual thing shows the level of distrust and paranoia the man still haves for outsiders. 

Look at Daryl chewing his lips with worry for his people.  If he and Leah know each other even a little bit, she has to recognize that as one of his tells.  

Ooohhhh.  Who took the first stab at Wells?  Maggie?  Negan?  Father G?  I swear.  I took my eyes off the “ball” one second and the whole damn play is halfway down the field.  Sorry.  If you cannot tell, I watched football with the fam yesterday, lol.  

The Walking Dead logo didn’t crumble this time.  Interesting.  Parts of it looked like it had been rebuilt.  With brick.  Wood.  Other parts of it looked reclaimed by nature.  Call me crazy, but that almost looks like an eye/part of a face on the first D.  

Okay then.  Babbling nonsense about the logo over, lol.  Tell me.  Please.  Anybody.  How do the events at ASZ line up with the events at Meridian?  Because it’s night and full-blown storming in ASZ and still daylight at Meridian.  But hey.  Thank fuck we’re in ASZ.  

All the babies huddled together giving me feels.  Sorry.  I know some feel they have no place on the show, but I personally enjoy their inclusion from time to time.  It usually plucks hard at my heartstrings.  

Connie tenderly comforting an injured Virgil is sweet, not gonna lie.  

Aww.  Is that Hershel petting a scared RJ’s hair?  Unless it’s a case of me not being able to pick out and place all the little hands, which it most certainly could be, I’m thinking Judith’s got her hand on her knee and that’s Hershel’s hand in RJ’s hair.  Regardless of whose hand is where, it was a sweet little scene.  What can I say?  I’m easy because Baby Glenn and Baby Rick, ya’ll.  

Oh snap.  The windmill’s on fire and pieces of the wall are blowing down main street ASZ like steel tumbleweeds, lol.  

Anybody else having flashbacks to the barn from Season 5?  Good times.  We still had most of Team Family with us then.  They were in a bad place, hurting and lost and just trying to survive--when are they not just trying to survive?--but they were together.  I miss them.  

Carol and Lydia holding each other.  These two, lovelies, have my whole heart.  

Wells is Walker Jerky, Shaw.  Stop wasting your breath.  

“She did.  My enemy.”  I mean, are we supposed to get the impression Maggie’s been a formidable adversary to Pope?  Because she feels more like a roach that simply knows the best rocks to hide under.  Granted, roaches are hard to kill but still.  I’m gonna need them to give us something better than Maggie being Pope’s enemy simply because she didn’t want to give up her home without a fight because this is frankly unbelievable and bordering on stupid.  

Alright.  So they’ve obviously been sowing the seeds of distrust and defiance between Leah and Pope because she doesn’t like losing family but Daryl?  Man?  You and Leah have differing opinions about how family operates.  Trust me on this.  

So.  Three teams, huh?  Aaron fighting the windmill fire, Carol repairing the breach in the wall, Rosita protecting the babies that represent their future.  Choose your fighters, lol.  Seriously, though.  Why do I have the sinking feeling only one group is going to be shown actually doing their thing?  

Listen.  Am I pissed we haven’t gotten the scene we deserve yet between Carol and Connie after all that’s happened and we’re getting crumbs mainly because Angela wrongly feels the Reapers/Maggie & Negan/Daryl & Leah need more focus?  Absolutely.  You bet your sweet asses.  But Melissa fucking McBride just took the crumbs allotted her and made a magnificent, work of art cake out of it trying all on her lonesome to feed us starving Carol fans.  

Bless Connie wanting wanting to go with Carol.  What a show of trust and sister-like solidarity that must have some hate-rotted guts about to turn themselves out.  

I love Kelly and Connie’s sister bond.  No ill will intended, but It takes the good parts of Maggie and Beth and elevates it beyond anything those two ever showed us.  I really feel like that’s a testament to Angel and Lauren’s real life ease with each other.  

Magna choosing to go with Aaron makes me wonder if it’s possible she feels some kind of residual guilt over Connie.  Not guilt for anything she’s actually done, but simply guilt over making it out.  

Virgil volunteering to help.  Okay.  Damn.  I’m honestly starting to like the guy.  

Judith offering to go with her aunt Carol had me all up in my feels.  I mean, granted.  It was a blink and you miss it scene.  We really deserved a longer heart to heart between that little girl and the woman that’s sacrificed so much to keep her safe and loved her for so long, but you know I’ll gobble any and all Judith/Aunt Carol content up.  Seems to me, Little Ass Kicker is just as afraid of letting Aunt Carol out of her sight as Uncle Daryl.  My heart.  

Gracie and Aaron are sweet.  And honestly?  I find them more realistic and true to what normal parents and children would be like in a ZA than Judith and Michonne no matter how much I love that bond.  I mean no disrespect, but I really do.  

“Why am I keeping you around?”  Pope asking the question we’re all wondering.  

Not Apocalypse Popeye comparing Daryl to a stray dog.  Joe from the Claimers already declared Daryl an outside cat that thought he was an indoor cat.  I did have to internally cheer when Daryl was like “I’m ain’t gonna lick it” talking about the helping hand Pope had extended him.  

“Somehow she has turned the dead against the living.  Oh, that’s impressive.”  The thing about Pope respecting Maggie so much as an enemy is I just find it hard to buy, lol.  Like if this had been Carol, yeah.  But Maggie?  Nope.  They’ve mostly shown her (with Gage being the bewildering exception) to be all bark and no bite.  

Has the house in ASZ really become that dilapidated that they can see through its walls?  Because its original owners dodged a bullet if so.  

Look at Grace hero-worshipping Judith.  It’s sweet.  

Virgil telling Judith Michonne would be proud of her is nice but doesn’t feel as earned as if someone like Daryl or Carol that actually knew Michonne well said it.  But maybe that’s the whole point--Judith needs to hear it from someone she knows isn’t going to just say what she wants to hear.  

Call me jaded, it was a touching scene, but also?  It felt designed to allow Judith to move beyond her very normal and realistic feelings of being abandoned by Michonne, even though she gave her the “okay” herself.  Like she’s still a kid.  Wants don’t always line up with feelings.  Anyway.  Cailey continues to be a bright, shining little star and I love how she’s managed to make Judith a true amalgamation of all the people she’s loved who have loved her in return.  Not just Michonne.  I know people like to overlook and cheapen the fact, but it’s taken a village and entire family to raise her from infancy.  

Gracie really should have known better than play in front of the windows during a storm period, but oh well.  Plot point, lol.  

Seriously, though.  I feel like they’ve teased poor Gracie’s demise in a multitude of ways since the beginning of the season.  I hope nothing ultimately comes of it but I fear it will.  All I can say if the worst comes to happen is poor Aaron.  

Where are Negan and Elijah though?  Ouch.  There they are, taking on shrapnel for the cause.  

Ready the what now?  

There’s ASZ’s Baby Sitter Extraordinaire!  Barbara, is it?  That lady’s been putting in the work since Season 5 at least.  

I’ve honestly grown to love Rosita.  More of her and less of Maggie, please and thank you.  

“Let’s stay away from the windows.”  I’m sorry but I had to LMAO at that.  Still a badass moment though.  

Gabe hobbling toward his assigned sentinel.  At least they haven’t forgotten he’s injured like they seemed to forget Daryl was near death last season before the attack on Hilltop, lol.  

“It’s hard to watch something you care about change.”  Listen, Leah.  Chick.  You and Daryl obviously never really knew each other.  It’s always been obvious but I have a feeling “DIxon” is finally going to show you, spoilers or no spoilers.  

WTF are they calling that thing?  Sorry.  I have just as hard a time understanding Pope’s accent as I do Maggie’s sometimes.  

That’s not love that has Daryl telling Leah she can come with him.  That’s care for somebody he used to know.  There is a distinct difference that’s obviously lost on so many.  How can you really and truly love someone you cannot trust?  Especially in Daryl Dixon’s case?

Why does Angela hate us so much?  Giving us all these Reaper scenes and leaving us to simply imagine Carol and Connie and Kelly working side by side to save the wall?  

I think I honestly could have enjoyed this whole Reaper storyline more, at least a little bit anyway, had they not retrofitted a half-assed romance between Daryl and the story’s weakest link and if only they’d made it the B storyline and given earned deference to the goings-on in ASZ instead.  

I wonder if Glenn taught Maggie how to hot write a car?  I miss my baby Glenn.

Apocalypse Popeye is several fries short of a Happy Meal.  What else is new on this show, lol?  

I care for Maggie.  Mostly for nostalgia’s sake and Glenn and Baby Hershel but damn, man.  She’s not actually proven herself got be worth killing your entire “family” for.  But are too far gone, so.  We’ll make allowances.  

I will say at least this episode is not as abysmally biring as last week’s episode.  

Leah finally giving Pope the throat punch he’s been asking for but I’m not fooled she’s on Daryl’s side here.  She’s always been on her own side.  

Look at Father G returning the favor for Maggie saving him in the tower.  Taking Deaver down!�� Poor Deaver barely saw the light of day.  

Here comes that woman scorned part.  I can feel it.  

“Pope is dead.  Dixon murdered him.  He’s with the enemy.”  

Please, Angela.  I’m begging you.  Bring Carol into this story and ramp it the fuck up.  You been idling too damn long and the car is fast running outta gas.  

Bitch really has to die to framing Carol’s Pookie.  

Rosita and Lydia and Carol and Connie and Kelly and Magna have literally been holding up this damn show while Angela farts around with the Reapers bullshit.  Honorable mention goes to Aaron but these lovely, badass ladies been putting in the real work and not getting any of the glory.  You just know they’re tired AF.  

Not my babies Lydia and Judith being the cliffhanger!  Oh and Gracie.  Angela?!  A word.  

Listen.  Carol’s already done that fireworks trick.  That Reaper dude owes her royalties.  Granted, it was on a smaller scale but much more impressive for it because she was left to be the sharpshooter.  

Angela has a point.  It is kind of cool how Team Family have learned from their enemies and assimilated their useful points into their own cache of knowledge.  

I truly feel like the Leah/Reaper storyline would have benefitted from a much stronger actress.  Just saying.  

I know Judith annoys some with her precociousness but Cailey just keeps teeing off on what they give her and personally?  I feel she’s so very talented and light years beyond her little acting counterparts so it still works.  

“They’re never gonna choose each other over the people that they’ve loved and fought for because they simply cannot really trust each other.  There’s sort of, like a toxicity at the base of that relationship.”  Straight from Angela’s mouth.  

“At the end of the day, Daryl chose his family.”  Yeah, he did.  That “I belong with you” shit only happened when he felt they were all gone, including the one he loved above all others--Carol.  Fight me.  

Overall impression of the episode?  

On its own, disregarding how much I can’t help resenting how much time I feel has been “wasted” setting this story up, it was much more entertaining than Episode 7 which was only epic in that it was an epic bore.  There was still too much focus on the Reapers when I just just kept wanting to see what was happening at ASZ.  I mean, they cheated us out of Carol and Connie and Kelly working together. Of Aaron and Magna.  Call it personal preference coloring my opinions if you want, but the characters I care about feel like they’ve been shown the backseat for this self-indulgent exploration of Angela’s OC and her version of self-insert FF with Daryl Dixon.  If we can return to Team Family?  The whole Team Family and not just Maggie and Co. against the world?  You’ve got me.  If not?  Well.  You’ll keep losing me by degrees and you don’t want to do that on the final season.  

Anyway.  The ASZ parts were my favorites per usual.  The episode could have used a lot more of those.  

[collecting-stories]

The Truck - ep. 08 - Georgia

Summary: You stop by on break to visit Daryl at the auto shop. The Jeep is almost done being repaired.

A/N: I think basically I’m writing an even slower burn than last time.

Georgia Masterlist | The Walking Dead Masterlist

☼ ☼ ☼ ☼

“I think ya ain’t as smart as ya tell me ya are,” Daryl joked as he caught sight of you walking into Dale’s Autobody shop, still in your uniform from the diner. Three days after Christmas and you’d been working as many hours as Patricia would give you. Both you and your mom trying to stay away from the house and each other  as much as possible.  

“I most definitely am. Why?” You asked, ducking your head down into the car he was working on when he sat down in the front seat. A newer model Nissan he’d been cursing since the owner brought it in.  

“Cause I tell ya all the time not ta come in here and where are ya?” He asked, looking over at you.  

“It’s not my fault, Axel said you said you’re almost done my baby.” You teased. Axel had told you over ordering his lunch that Daryl had mentioned to T-Dog that he was nearly done the work on the Jeep. Took a while, he had lamented, but he was finally, almost done. “Heard you’re glad to be rid of me.”

“Ain’t what I said,” he replied, “said I was glad ta be rid a that fucking jeep. Pain in my ass.”  

“Now I know you’re talking about me.”  

Daryl’s expression changed for a brief second, eyes fixing on the faint pink lines on your cheek. Barely noticeable but they hadn’t been there before Christmas. “What happened?” He tapped his finger against the same spot on his face to indicate what he was asking about.  

“Just a cat scratch. Hershel’s got a couple to keep the mice away and I couldn’t resist trying to pet one.”  

“They’re nasty creatures…yer lucky he didn’t take yer whole face off.” He replied, climbing back out of the car again. “Ya on break?”

You shook your head, “I picked up a shift from Amy, I got an hour to kill before I start for her.”  

“Ain’t I lucky.”  

“So, is my car really almost fixed?” You asked. You pulled the rolling stool over from the work bench and sat down, spinning once.  

“Just about.” He replied.  

Daryl hated to admit it but he’d been dragging his feet on the project and when he realized that he was nearing completion and your car would be fixed he was half tempted to break it all over again. Sure, you liked stopping in now, chatting him up before or after a shift, bumming rides, showing up at his house to spend your afternoons sitting under the car park. But once the car was fixed you wouldn’t need him to entertain you anymore. You could go to your friends houses or anywhere really, but you didn’t have to hang out with him. He wasn’t going to tell you yet but he’d let it slip to T-Dog and once one of them knew they practically broadcast it.  

“You working late?” You asked, wheeling yourself over next to him.  

“Why, ya don’t know anyone else with a car?”

“Why bother them when I have you?” You tilted your head back to look up at him and smile. You looked like a little kid with your eyes closed and a smile wide enough that he could see all your teeth.  

He rolled his eyes at you and reached over, swiping his greasy finger down your nose and making you jump suddenly at the contact. Your eyes opened and you slid back against the car. “Careful ya don’t scratch her.”

“Did you rub grease on my nose!” You whined, trying to rub it off with the back of your hand but only making more of a mess.  

Daryl shrugged, “ain’t nice ta tease.”  

“Do you have a bathroom here?”  

He pointed toward the back of the shop and you got up, headed for the bathroom to wipe the grease off your face.  

In truth Daryl wasn’t the only one who wasn’t looking forward to the car being fixed. Your throat felt like it dropped into your stomach when Axel told you that Daryl was almost finished the car. It sent you thinking...if Daryl told Axel did that mean he was glad it was almost finished? Was he looking forward to having you out of his hair finally? You scrubbed the grease off your face and frowned at your reflection. You didn’t want this to end.  

“So, ya need a ride later?” Daryl asked once you came out of the bathroom.  

“Yeah if you don’t mind.” You replied.

“Nah,” he shrugged as if he was indifferent toward driving you home, “ain’t got nothing better ta do.”  

-

You hung around a little while longer before you headed back to the diner for work. The whole night you felt distracted by Axel’s news from earlier. You were desperate to get some advice from Maggie but there wasn’t much she could offer, Glenn didn’t need any persuading to be madly in love with her. They’d been together since the 6th grade winter dance and there was no doubt in your mind that nothing, not even Hershel’s stupid rules, could keep them apart.  

Glenn and Maggie were the exception to the rule. Daryl wasn’t tripping over himself to profess his love for you. Half the time you weren’t even totally sure that he liked you. There were glimpses of something that might’ve been something but trust you to choose someone so hard to read. You spent the whole dinner rush trying to think up less costly ways to spend time with him that wouldn’t annoy him or make him feel like you were some stupid kid. The word kid alone was not necessarily something you wanted him to associate with you.  

The idea sparked when he pulled up outside at the end of your shift, parking his truck by the door. You ignored Lori’s comment about Dixon’s being bad news. She ‘went to school with him’ and somehow that had made her the only reputable source on him, at least in her mind. Coupled with the fact that it was Daryl driving you home you were just happy to be done work.  

“I hate the dinner rush,” you complained as you pulled the door shut and leaned against the seat. “This lady bitched me out over the table having a mark in it, meanwhile her kids were dunking every fucking sugar packet, jam packet, and salt packet into their cups of water and then splashing them all over the table!”  

“Musta really boiled yet blood if it’s got ya cursing.”  

“I can curse.”

“I’m sure ya can.” He teased.  

You pouted, arms crossed over your chest as you slumped in the seat and Daryl reached over, jabbing you gently with his fingers against your side when he stopped at a streetlight. You laughed from the sudden sensation and pushed his hand away.  

“I’m not allowed to curse at home but I can curse.” You insisted and he only shook his head, smiling.  

“Think yer a little too sweet ta be hanging around me.”  

“Nonsense. I like hanging out with you.” You replied, “which reminds me-“

“Yeah, what now?”

“How would you feel about teaching me some basic car stuff? I don’t know anything about cars and I’d really like to learn.”  

It was the plan that had finally occurred to you halfway through your shift. You didn’t know the first thing about changing oil or fixing a tire. Hell, you couldn’t even fill it with air if you wanted to.  

“Yer dad never teach ya how ta handle a car?”

“No, I don’t even know how to put windshield washer in it.”  

“A’right, I’ll teach ya. After I finish working on yer car.” He replied. You had only been considering yourself when you formulated your master plan but Daryl couldn’t help the brief flutter of excitement that he felt thinking you’d decided to ask him to help. Even if it was just so you could navigate the basics it still meant that you would willingly be spending more time with him.  

“Seriously?” You asked, smiling over at him.  

“Yeah, why not? Ya should know how ta fix yer car.” He replied, “simple stuff…still gotta make money.”

“I might get so good I’ll steal your business.” You replied.  

“Sure ya could.” He pulled up where he always did, your house visible from his spot parking along the sidewalk. It was dark, just the post lantern by the front of the driveway on. “Yer parents ain’t home?” No cars were in the driveway.  

“My mom’s already left for work.” You shrugged, opening the door to the truck.  

“She be gone all night?”

“I can stay by myself, promise.” You laughed to make a joke of it but you usually spent the night in the living room, talking to Tara or Maggie until they eventually went to sleep. You hated being home alone.  

“I ain’t got anywhere ta be.” Daryl shrugged, offering some company.  

“You don’t mind staying?”  

The inside of your house was exactly what Daryl had expected. A far cry from the worn down, dirty home that he lived in with his father, this was pristine. As if no one had ever sat on the furniture or lived in the house. There weren’t any family pictures but there was Christian art in its place. Tasteful, Martha Stewart-esque Christmas decorations were highlighted through out the living room and kitchen, both spotless.  

Daryl pulled a face at the décor at you laughed, “my mom went on a pier one kick a few years ago trying to outdo the Walshs.”  

“Can’t complain, it’s nicer than mine ever was.” He replied, looking over the table top tree, “yer dad at work too?”

“No. I mean, he’s away. Visiting family.” You said, heading into the kitchen, “my mom works overnight at the hospital, she’s been doing a lot doubles lately though. I’ll be right out, I’m gonna change!”  

Daryl nodded but didn’t say anything, flicking on the rest of the living room lights to get a better look at the room. The only pictures that weren’t nature landscapes or birds were on the mantle. A church directory photo of you and your parents from this year and your senior portrait, the traditional black off the shoulder look with a rose in your hand.  

“I hate that picture,” you complained as you came back into the room. “I look hideous.”  

“Don’t think that’s possible but I ain’t gonna argue.” Daryl replied. “Least I ain’t the only one who don’t have family pictures up.”

“My mom hates candid pictures. She’d never hang them up.” You settled on the couch and watched as Daryl walked back to the door to kick his shoes off. “I don’t have beer but there’s soda in the fridge.”

“I ain’t ever drinking beer ‘round you again. Yer a terrible influence. Ain’t Glenn Hershel should be worried ‘bout.” Daryl teased, coming over to sit beside you.  

“What? No! I am not a bad influence!” You laughed, “I’ve never done anything wrong in my whole life.”  

“I been witness to a few things.”

“No one will believe you.”  

“Ain’t that the truth.” He said, thinking briefly that no one would even believe he was here right now, sitting your house with you while you clicked through channels. He’d be hard pressed to convince them that you had even bummed a cigarette off him, especially if they saw the sweet looking church photo of you with your parents.  

“So what kind of car things will you teach?” You asked, ignoring the channel you’d chosen and turning more toward Daryl.  

“What kinda car things ya need ta learn?”

“Everything but how to drive?” You replied, biting your lip.  

“Well I ain’t seen ya drive so I can’t cross it off the list just yet.”

“I’m a good driver.”  

“Yeah? You working tomorrow morning?” He asked, looking back toward the TV.  

“No, I’ve got off.”  

“Alright, I gotta pick up my check in Woodbury, I’ll let you drive me for once.”  

“In my Jeep?”

“Hell no, ya ain’t getting in that thing ‘fore it’s fixed. You can drive the truck.” He replied. The truck was his brother Merle’s originally but Merle was in jail and he hadn’t spent the last three years fixing every inch of it to have it running like new. It might’ve been Merle’s to begin with but that old Chevy was Daryl’s pride and joy. He didn’t let anyone get behind the wheel, not even Rick or T-Dog, but he was offering it up to you.  

“I’ll be the best driver you’ve ever seen.”  

-

Taglist:  @cbarter @onemorebeautifulnightmare  @mainokutan @qrangr  @twdeadfanfic @gigilame @sabertooth-potato @enrapturedbythemoon  @hopesxxhigh @coffeebooksandfandom @jodiereedus22 @tehfabbooty @thecaptainsgingersnap @of-storms-and-sadness @twdeadfanfic @alwaysadreamingoptimist @bucky-barnes-babies @ly--canthrope @daryldixonandfrogs @jaycc7983 @easnuppa @imaginecrushes @tonystarkismyboy @watchmeaspire @harpersmariano @cathwritestragediesnotsins @siren-queen03

[walkerwords]

“By Firelight” Rick Grimes x F!Reader

Word Count: 2143

Summary: After escaping Terminus, you and the other survivors are on the run. You are a bit of a loner, but Rick has had his eye on your for a bit. Though, you’ve been pushing him away because you don’t think you deserve him. One night on watch, you finally take that jump in the light of the fire.

Warning: None

Song I Wrote To: “Murder Song (5,4,3,2,1)” by AURORA

Note: This is just a short thing I wrote. It is loosely based on the Halsey song: I HATE EVERYBODY and includes some of the lyrics. I am currently workin in Bowman’s sister part II so look out for that. Okay, good night. also if there are typos im sorry im like half awake right now.

------ 

The group walked all day.

You kept ahead with Carl, who just walked with you and didn’t try to talk. Being on the run together for as long as you had, you didn’t need to have conversations, it was enough to just walk alongside each other as friends while keeping a look out for any threats.

You kept your weapon ready and whenever you came across the Dead, you would take them out. Abraham and Rosita were at the rear of the group, looking for stragglers that anyone missed and everyone in between was vigilant. It was a functioning system that had worked for the many months that you all had been traveling together. 

As day turned to night, You started to head back to the main group. Carl had gone back a few hours before to check on Judith and give Rick a break so you were scouting solo. You retraced your steps and found them easily enough. Approaching Rick, you lowered your weapon.

“There’s an old hunter’s shack just up ahead. Plenty of space for us to set up camp outside and get Judith inside in case she starts crying,” you told him, glancing at the giggling baby that Maggie now held. Rick nodded, looking you over.

“And its (Y/L/N) approved?” he asked with a slick smile on his face. You rolled your eyes. 

“Yes, plenty of vantage points and it backs up to a cliff not too far away so I can watch all the directions.”

“You should be watching the inside of your eyelids,” Rick said, giving you a look of concern. “You need sleep, (Y/N).”

“I slept last night,” you reminded him. 

“You work too hard,” he said, gesturing to the bloody spear you held that was soaked in Walker blood.

“Yeah, well, someone has to,” you said and turned away to lead the group to the camp for the night. 

You kept watch as Carl got Judith settled into the small shack, trying his best to keep her shielded from the elements. Around you, the rest of the group began setting up for the night. You caught Gabriel looking at you, but you ignored him. He knew you didn’t trust him. Hell, nobody really trusted the priest. There was just something about him that just pissed you off.

Daryl handled the firewood as always. He always came trudging back into camp with logs stacked high in his arms. They all had parts to play in their group and while you knew that Daryl was just as skilled in a fight as you were, he had been trying to take care of everyone lately. You figured it was to keep his mind off of Beth.  

As the night went on, Tara and Glenn made sure you had something to eat. You ate your portion in silence at the edge of the camp, keeping your ears open for threats in the surrounding trees. There had been a time where you weren’t as sharp and that had led to multiple deaths on your part even before you hooked up with Rick’s group at the prison.

You hadn’t seen the five Walkers and they had killed six of your people, tore them to shreds before your eyes. It had been Rick who had killed the last Walker and tried to convince you it wasn’t your fault, inviting you back to the prison, but you knew the truth: every death was on you.

At least, that’s what it felt like.

You leaned against a nearby tree, your back to the North that had the cliff. Unless the Dead could suddenly fly, nothing would be coming from that direction. Your knives were sheathed to your thighs and your spear lay next to you at the ready. Pulling the tie from your hair, you let your locks loose and scratched at your scalp. You really needed to wash your hair, it was starting to smell worse than the Dead. 

Sitting there, your mind started to wander, thinking of a conversation you had had with Noah the other day. 

Since the incident with the Governor and then at Terminus, you had started to become more reckless. Noah was concerned about you and what you were doing with your life.

You took on too many Walkers at once, barged into buildings without making noise first, and even threw yourself on top of a Walker to save Maggie who clearly didn’t need the help. Whenever someone tried to talk to you about your actions, you pushed them away. Noah said that it seemed like you hated everybody.

In truth, you hated yourself, not everybody. Because if you truly hated everybody, why did you stay and why were you always looking to make sure you weren’t alone? Why were you always looking for Rick?

Rick had always been there, watching you, making sure you were okay. It was always him. You knew that he looked out for you, but lately the two of you had grown closer. It was obvious to everyone. Michonne has even asked you if the two of you had been together at some point. There was a part of you that wished that was true and based on some of the looks Rick gave you, it seemed he wanted it to.

However, you were worried about becoming distracted, no matter how much you wanted the man. And if your own emotions and self guilt were threatening to overcome you, that wouldn’t help anyone. You had to be strong for your people and breaking down over your own fucked up problems would not help anyone. So you kept your eyes on your people and made sure they were safe.

As the fire slowly died down and people around you were snoring peacefully, you listened to the world around you, reading every sound like a word in a book. Analyzing the sharp sounds of a nearby bird or the way a branch snapped in a quick breeze. You could identify a threat and a harmless natural occurrence faster than anybody else, except maybe Daryl. It was why nobody argued with you when you kept watch. 

A sound to your right had your hand sliding to your thigh, but you let it drop when you realized who was approaching. Rick moved through the dark, nearly invisible, but his boots was what gave him away. As well as his smell which was a mixture of dirt, blood, and pine needles. He didn’t say anything as he sat down next to you, keeping his eyes forward. His fingers fiddled with a few pieces of dry grass.

“Judith okay?” You asked quietly in the darkness. Rick turned to look at you as his hands stilled. 

“She’s fine,” Rick said. “Carl is with her, Glenn and Maggie too.” 

“That’s good,” you said, letting out a breath. 

After a few more minutes of silence, Rick slowly moved his hand to where you had a grip on one of your weapons. You hadn’t even realized you had been holding onto it that tight.

Without a word, he gently loosened your fingers around the blade’s handle and let your hand fall to the ground. His hand lay next to yours, not wanting to intrude any further, but you did something that surprised him. You slowly laced your fingers between his, feeling the warmth of his palm in yours. 

Rick didn’t move or even question it, he just sat there, breathing in the moment. You sighed, letting your head fall back against the rough bark of the tree. Slowly, your thumb began rubbing small circles on the back of Rick’s hand. You could hear his breathing start to match yours as if you were in tandem. It was peaceful. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked after a moment of silence. 

“Nothing,” you whispered, keeping you eyes on the dying embers before you. 

“You may not think I notice when you’re upset, but I do. I notice a lot more than you think.” Rick shuffled slightly closer, your shoulders now touching and your hand resting on his thigh. The tears came back at his words and he waited for you to speak. 

“I’m broken, Rick,” you began. He didn’t correct you or disagree, he just listened while holding your hand. “I’ve been keeping up this facade that I don’t care about anything and that I hate everyone around me, but it’s not me. It’s not true. I just can’t… I don’t know how to do this.” 

“Do what?” he asked gently. You looked at him as the tears flowed down your face. 

“Be alone.” 

“Who says you have to be?” he asked. “Why do you think that you need to be alone in all of this?” 

“It’s easier,” you admitted. 

“No, it’s not,” he whispered. “Blocking people out and going off your own is the opposite of easy. We need people, especially now. We need each other, (Y/N), We need you,” he paused and tightened his grip on your hand. “I need you.” 

You looked at him through your tears, tilting your head as you always did when you were thinking. “Why?” you whispered. He knew what you were asking without having you explain. 

“Because you smell of lavender and you like bad country music and hate when people walk slow,” he said with a small smile. “Because you call me out on my bullshit and you keep us safe. (Y/N), you are not broken, you’re the one thing that is keeping us together, keeping me together. You say you hate everybody, but maybe you don’t. Maybe you just haven’t found the right somebody.” Rick let his words sink in. He watched your face the best he could in the low light of the moon. You were thinking over everything he said and he was glad that you weren’t running.

Then, you took back your hand. Rick sighed, figuring you were going to tell him to stay out of you business and stalk off, but that wasn’t what you did at all.

Taking the hand that was holding his, you moved it to the side of his face. The beard on his chin and cheeks scratched at your palms as you placed your other hand on his other cheek. You searched his blue eyes, looking for anything that resembled a lie, but you couldn’t see one. 

“I’m always trying to make a memory out of a feeling,” you whispered. 

“What do you feel right now?” he asked, very aware that your faces were moving closer. 

“Not alone,” you said after a moment of silence. Rick rested his forehead against yours, feeling your breath against his face. 

“Then I hope you remember this,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. Rick placed his hands around your waist, pulling you closer and waited for you to push him away. When you didn’t, he nudged your chin up with his own and pressed his nose against yours. You met him the rest of the way and pressed your lips against his. 

He kissed you in a slow but firm rhythm. Your hands threaded into his soft hair and his moved to cup the back of your neck and the small of your back to pull you even closer.

You sighed into his mouth and he relished in the feeling when your tongues met and you leaned into him. It wasn’t rushed or heated like the other times you had kissed men in your travels. You didn’t want it to be. You felt every firm touch of his fingers and the softness of his lips as he kissed you tenderly. There was no raging heat between you, just a loving warmth that surrounded you both. 

You pulled back to catch your breath, looking at him and he smiled. You matched his expression easily. He whispered something that sounded like your name and you pulled him back to you. Your kisses started to get more languid as you held onto each other. Rick’s hands smoothed down your back and ran along your scalp, creating shudders from you as you held onto him.

Seeing as you were out in the open and on watch, you didn’t take it further as much as you both wanted to. As your fatigue caught up to you, Rick adjusted his position, leaning back against the tree with his gun at the ready and maneuvered you so you lay against his chest. “Sleep, (Y/N),” he said, “I’ll keep watch.”

For the first time in a long time, you nodded and did as he said. You lay your head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. You let out a deep breath and as you drifted off to sleep, his words from earlier echoed in her head. You thought you hated everybody, but hell, maybe you didn’t after all.

Note: this is strictly a one-shot. I dont see many rick x read stories and I love rick grimes so fucking much. If you know any good ones, please send them to me. Im desperate. 

[ikkleosu]

I’m going all in - I love you and kisses, and here’s why

But this is my caveat: These are my speculations only. Do not come to me saying I ruined your mental health if this turns out not to be accurate. Yes, I’d have a good hit rate this season but I’ve also made horrific wrong guesses so take this all in the speculative fashion it is intended.

OKay, so a lot of people want to know what my thoughts are on if canon is going to happen, when, what’s going to happen in ep 14 etc. And it’s a complicated story, but the first thing I have to say is - the first step I start from is trusting Angela Kang.

I know, right? But this is the way I see it. Kang has taken the shit heap that Gimple left her and is trying to mould it into something that she wants, and more importantly that she thinks the audience wants.

This is backed up by the comments made by the new AMC boss saying they did lots of research into why the audience dropped, and what the audience wants. THAT for me is the MOST IMPORTANT key in why I think Caryl canon is happening. The show has so little left going for it with the loss of Rick and Michonne, and what Gimple did to the writing, and the way TV is and its age etc. They NEED to not piss the core, loyal audience off further. Not doing Caryl is doing that. Caryl is the most popular ship, that’s a simple fact. So yes, Caryl is happening and I think it’s happening now.

And all the things I thought at the start of the season still stand, in terms of the comments by AK and Norman. So yup, Caryl’s still happening.

SO, that said, HOW do I think it’s happening. Well I think 2 bits of the comic are key...

First, let’s talk “I love you”

To me it’s been set up all this season that Carol will eventually talk to Daryl, open up about everything and let him in emotionally. And then we get the information that episode 14 is called Just Look at the Flowers. So yup, I think that’s when it’s going to happen.

We know that it’s Daryl she’s going to open up to (not Lydia or Zeke) because we have Daryl saying “I’m the one you tell”, and saying he’s begging her to talk to him. 

Just Look at the Flowers tells us she’s going to talk about Lizzie - the root of her self-hatred and pain. Something she’s never talked about since Tyrese swore her to secrecy.  

This is foreshadowed this week as well with Glenn’s grave. Daryl feels responsible for Glenn’s death. He knows how Carol feels and is contemplating it. So it will come up as a topic, which it would when Carol blames herself for both Connie’s death and Lizzie’s.

She’s going to lay out to Daryl why she hates herself.

That is foreshadowed by the dialogue in this week’s episode. Lydia says “you hate yourself”, seeing right through her. And even more significantly, Carol asks Daryl if he hates her and he says “I could/would never hate you”. (Note this phrase as I’m coming back to it in a minute!)

I believe Kang is going to use the Rule of 3 with Carol’s self-hatred. It’s been brought up twice, the third time it’s brought up it’s resolved. i.e. the next time Carol says she hates herself, or that Daryl hates her, it’s going to be “fixed” because Daryl is going to tell her he doesn’t hate her, he loves her.

(I also think this scene may also resolve the Rule of 3 over Daryl liking Connie. Carol twice has said he likes Connie. If she brings it up again, he’ll correct her and resolve it)

Now, it may seem like I’m jumping the gun in thinking he’ll say he loves her. I mean, he can forgive her and show he wouldn’t judge her without saying that? 

Well, firstly, we have the most basic obvious answer this week - he would never hate her. So that rules that out. As I said before, you don’t have the same conversation with the same outcome. So it has to take it to another level.

And then there’s this from the comics:

TO explain, this is Carl - who had The Grove equivalent story in the comics - explaining to Lydia about when he told Andrea that he killed Ben (Lizzie).

Carl goes on to explain that when Andrea said I love you, he remembered his dad saying your parents love you no matter what, so this was the moment he started calling Andrea Mom.

Now this may seem a tenuous link here but let me explain. This scene DOES happen at the point in the comics we are at in s10, just after A Certain Doom, when Andrea dies. And yes I realise I’m bringing up the dreaded ghoul of a parent child relationship, BUT it is reversed here, with Daryl being mom. LOL

Because I think Kang is using this scene as basis for Caryl - Carol showing Daryl the absolute worst thing she’s ever done, and Daryl proving what he said this week, he could never hate her, in fact he loves her. Just like Andrea told Carl she loved him, and showed her love is unconditional. So this story is going to lead to Carol knowing Daryl loves her unconditionally. 

But what about kissing?

Let’s for argument sake say well, i love you doesn’t have to be romantic love. And true, it doesn’t. Except for all the clues in the first half of the season (Carol’s dream, the ships on the bedding, Daryl taking her a flower etc). And also there’s this...

Now those of you who have been with me for a long time know this story, because I have been saying this for 4 - COUNT ‘EM, 4!!! - years! And by the law of averages, FFS, i must be right eventually.

Here’s the original post I made about it, in case anyone cares:

https://ikkleosu.tumblr.com/post/140064036369/lets-hop-on-the-delusional-train

This is me harping on again about the comic scene where Rick and Andrea get together. 

Now, for whatever reason they chose not to use that storyline with Rick and Michonne. It comes from the Negan era, so yes it’s essentially past that point, but there may be a reason they kept hold of it.

And it does fit Carol’s story MUCH better than Rick’s... and it seems very likely Daryl and Carol are going to get some of RIck and Andrea’s comic stories...

So, what if this is part of the scene in Just Look at the Flowers?

Swap the genders, Rick is Carol. As we know, Carol is in this place now.

It’s believeable to imagine that after Alpha is killed by Negan, Carol feels lost. without that revenge, what has she got left? She’s empty and dead and doesn’t know how to go back to just living a life (as she mentions in this week’s episode). 

Remember in the MSF Daryl says “It’s like talking to a ghost!” Possibly foreshadowing this conversation, and Daryl saying to Carol “Isn’t it time you came back to life?” before the smoochy happens!

Look, as I say, I could be wildly wrong on all of this but I am sure this is all leading someplace.

People have pointed out this is going round in a circle, more Carol torture, Carol’s arc begin rehashed. And they are right. It is, but I think it’s deliberate.

I think Kang is retelling Carol’s arc but giving it the ending either she always intended or AMC intended or something. But I believe she’s retelling it with the purpose of giving it the ending it deserves - resolution with Caryl, ending Carol’s misery.

@onedayyoujustchange​ summed it up:

Connie/Magna in the cave - Karen and David at the prison

Connie - Beth

Henry - Sophia/Lizzie/Mika

Zeke - Tobin

Left at the cave - banished by Rick.

It’s all coming round but this time Carol is going to be allowed to feel and forgive herself and move forward instead of papering over the cracks.

[wrightiverse]

Last batch of commentary for the last chapter of Crowd

Glenn looks over to see how Nick's doing, and the kid gives him a beaming grin and a thumbs up. Glenn’s heart thumps almost painfully in his chest as he grins back.

But I won't feel blue / Like I always do / 'Cause somewhere in the crowd there's you.

The “you” that was somewhere in the Crowd had to be Nick. As much as I like Robin, Nick is still the most important person in Glenn’s life, and affirming their bond was the right note to end on.

* * * * *

See, Glenn's cautiously adjusting to the idea that Nick isn’t going to kick Glenn out of his life on his 18th birthday. He definitely doesn’t know a lot of guys who get along with their fathers, but even his oblivious ass has noticed that Connor’s over at the loft every few weeks, crashing on the bunk beds that he and Nick insisted were necessary. Hell, Robin called his own parents back in Boston this morning to proudly tell them about Glenn’s show.

That's what Glenn did to his own dad, and of course that's what he's afraid of with Nick. You can't be what you don't see, and unfortunately I don't think Glenn knows a lot of guys who have a good relationship with their fathers. I certainly couldn’t come up with a third example from the characters in the dndads universe.

* * * * *

Choosing to be happy is a high-stakes bet, but Glenn's decided to let it ride. Giving up just doesn't hold the same appeal that it used to. He's going to stay in the game, trust his luck, and see what the cards have in store for him.

One of the changes in Glenn over these stories is him grasping that much of the stuff in his life, good and bad, was due to chance. He didn't bring the bad times on himself by being a bad person, and the good things in his life now aren't because he's turned it all around. Refusing to roll the dice didn't actually protect him the way he hoped it would, so he's getting back in the game. We threw it in kinda casually at the end of a silly part of the story, but it's more or less the thesis statement: Life’s still not fair, but occasionally, with the right people around... it’s good.

* * * * *

Maybe he'll get to be around to watch Nick grow up. Maybe he’ll actually find a gray hair one day, and it won’t be the end of the world.

Glenn’s vigilance about looking youthful, particularly with regard to whether his hair is going gray, has been a running bit since way back in Name. In contrast, they're both very comfortable with Robin looking his age, to the point where Glenn has a hard time even accepting that Robin looked different when he was a young man. It comes up a couple of times, often relative to Glenn's parents. Robin asks Glenn when Bill went gray, and Glenn doesn't know (and gets stressed out at the question). Robin realizes when he meets Adele that she does her grays exactly the way that he thinks would look good on Glenn. I have to imagine he never brought that particular suggestion up again, but the fact that he found out via meeting Adele and not via Glenn saying "no, that's what my mother does and I hate it" is not a great sign. Anyway, all those moments take on a different cast in light of Glenn's difficulty with making decisions on behalf of his future self. As with the "fatherhood extends past the point when your kid turns 18" revelation, some of it just comes down to him being somebody who is fairly isolated and lacks role models. This is where their often-alluded-to age gap comes in really handy: Robin and Connor can provide at least one model of a functional father-son relationship that’s a few years along from where Glenn and Nick are. That’s not the only thing Glenn needs to help him out, but it can’t hurt.

Glenn tends to self-isolate, and from my perspective, essentially none of his problems are solvable in isolation at all. This is a guy whose best friend is his kid and most of his adult interaction is with his bandmates, with whom he has a bad relationship in both this and canon. Canon Glenn never tries to use his phone to talk to anybody but Nick, IIRC. His dad is dead. His wife is dead. He never mentions any other partner, a friend, even an ex or a neighbor. He seems to vaguely know a couple of the other dads from school stuff, but not well. Maybe he has an entire support network that got mentioned after I stopped listening, but he always seemed like a really lonely guy to me in eps 1-30 or so. It made his failings make a lot of sense - he has no support and he has no points of comparison, so he just sort of freestyles it and gauges his success based on whether Nick seems happy or not. That’s not a sustainable or healthy approach, but every other one would probably require a) effort and b) external support, so... nope.

The future isn't the only time that Glenn is bad with. He also has major parts of the past blocked off, and most of the time when he thinks about something in the past, it's the result of a trigger, rather than a choice. There are definitely things in his past where it's understandable that he doesn't want to linger, but it means he’s left some good stuff behind, as well. Part of him figuring out how to break out of his patterns is developing the ability to envision both the future and the past. That's why it's so good to see him reconnecting with the first music he played, and why they finally have some pictures of Morgan up. He is making peace with the past, he is understanding that the bad stuff that happened to him was the result of random happenstance (rather than deliberate punishment for him being a bad person), and it enables him (as do some of the other things discussed above) to contemplate the premise that tomorrow might not necessarily be worse than today and the future might be worth showing up to, gray hair or no.

*****

Maybe he’ll become old and boring. Maybe he deserves to. What Glenn can say for certain is that in this moment, he's happy, and he's lucky, and he's loved.

It's tough to figure out where to end a slice-of-life story. In this case it made a lot of sense to bring it full circle with Glenn performing on his own. He opens Crowd rehearsing miserably and he spends a lot of the subsequent story untangling the mess that's become of the band and his relationship to music. I honestly don't remember why we decided Glenn's canon exit from the GC3 didn't apply, since it was a decision we made back when we actually were trying somewhat to adhere to canon, but I'm glad we did because it gave us the opportunity to follow this out and explore the different nuances of it.

I don’t know if this happens to anyone else, but I am always hugely tempted to end dndads fics with some riff on the “it’ll be all right” thing. In this case, I wanted to avoid it not just because it felt hacky but because it was a contradiction to everything we’ve been saying. There are no happy endings. I can’t promise that everything is going to be all right for Glenn, but I can promise that in this moment, in this story, in this universe, he’s happy and loved. I hope that felt earned and that you enjoyed getting there with us.

[justjessame]

The Deal Chapter 35

Negan didn’t take Carl and me somewhere and ditch our bodies after beating our brains out with his best girl, Lucille. Sadly. Instead, he took us on a road trip. Back to Alexandria. He regaled us, the entire way there with all the ways that he COULD have killed Carl. How he could have forced me to have to watch him put down my baby brother for daring to attack as he had.

I let his bullshit roll over me. I’m learning, slowly, that Negan loves the sound of his own voice. And he truly adores putting fear into the hearts of those who allow it. Instead, I watch out the windshield as we drive along the road. Abandoned cars. A smattering of walkers. And the feeling of being fully aware of everything for the first time in a long time.

When we arrive at the gates, no one dares to stop us from coming inside. With both Carl and me at his side, Negan makes his way to Dad’s house. And, instead of walking in like he owns the place, which I’d expected, he knocks. Olivia, the woman who’d kept the inventory for the armory and pantry answered, and I wondered if she was my replacement in my former house.

I can’t remember having much interaction with her before, when I was still an Alexandrian. It doesn’t strike me as very strange how intimidated she seems by Negan. He’s a hard pill to swallow when he’s trying to play therapist, but when he’s just being himself, well then you see an asshole in full bloom. She tries to get rid of us, because whether she understands or not, Negan and I are a matched set right now. She tells Negan that Dad is out scavenging, that he probably won’t be back by the end of today. I wonder if Michonne went with him, and that’s why she’s here, to watch my baby sister.

She talks about how they’re low on supplies, how they’re practically starving, and then Negan shows just how fucking charming he is. A raised eyebrow. He looks her up and down and insults her by insinuating that since she’s curvy, that he doubts her sincerity. And, yes, I’m editing his bullshit, because it was disgustingly mean. He catches my eye, and sees my glare, so he tries his hand at apologizing.

Of course, this is Negan we’re talking about so once he tries to say sorry in his own classy way, he follows up with an offer that has me rolling my damn eyes. “I think it would be enjoyable to screw your brains out. I mean if, you know, you’re agreeable to it.” Dear fucking Christ, does he have a filter at all?

And Olivia, who I can’t recall much about, does something that has me fucking grinning from ear to ear. She slaps him straight across his smug, arrogant face. The crack makes my heart sing.

Negan ruins the fucking experience by telling her, after she rocks his fucking head on his shoulders with that slap, “I’m about fifty percent more into you now. Just saying.” Ugh. Seriously? He catches whatever look I have on my face, smirks at me, and winks. Could he be more crude and annoying?

He dismisses her, letting her leave his royal presence to fix lemonade that he knows he left behind. Powered lemonade is his newest whim, and I wonder if Olivia had it in her to fucking poison him.

Of course, we couldn’t just drop my little brother off at home, get back in the damn box-truck, and head the fuck back from whence we came. Now, where would Negan’s fun be in that?

Olivia, acting as though I’m an enemy too, stays in the house as Negan takes a grand tour. Taking off his boots, testing the carpet in Carl’s room with his bare feet, I have to wonder if he’s truly enjoying the feel of it because of the novelty, or if he’s checking to see if wiping his bare ass across it would cause him discomfort. Watching the steady stream of water as though he’s never had it before. He looked around what had been my room with interest. Uncomfortable interest, as though he’d find something more about me. Good luck.

And then, as we passed the room where Judith sleeps, he goes to open the door and I shake my head and tell him it’s just another empty room. He squints at me, and puts his hand on the doorknob.

“Really?” I ask him, raising my eyebrow. “Why are you interested in empty rooms?”

He calls my bluff and opens the door, and there she is. My little sister, the ONLY thing I regret leaving behind. And the ONE person in the world that I wanted to protect, from him, from the world at large and he’s found her.

“Oh my!” He doesn’t raise his voice, as he draws nearer to her, and handing Carl his precious Lucille, he almost seems in awe of her. “Look at this little angel.” And then she’s in his arms, and he’s being incredibly gentle with her, as he looks over her sweet blonde curls at me. His tenderness is a surprise, even if he’d never shown me the mean streak I knew ran in him.

Judith is holding a stuffed elephant as he bounces her gently in his arms. He takes a minute to study her, and then looks once again at me. And I wonder at the clear question in his eyes. What could Negan possibly want with this? With Dad’s life? With mine?

Negan makes himself at home in Dad’s house. He shaves with Dad’s straight razor, giving Carl advice like “against the grain, always go against the grain”. He’d handed Judith to me before he went into the bathroom, and I started to turn away, to take her somewhere alone, but he stopped me. “No, sweetheart, you both stay.” Shooting a look at my brother he corrects himself. “All three of you stay.” Which is why I’m having my unscheduled visit with my baby sister in full view of the man I’d assumed would kill me.

While he’s shaving, giving out advice to Carl, he keeps watching me with her. As I quietly talk to her, running my hand down her soft curls, and checking her for signs that she missed me. Even a tiny bit. I can’t stop myself from kissing her head. From entertaining her with her stuffed animal. And I work hard to block out Negan’s interest. Pretending that he’s not filing my reactions away for another round of my therapy when we head back to his domain.

He fixes dinner. Spaghetti sauce from scratch. Noodles, obviously. And he enlists Carl to make rolls. Me? For once, since I offered myself in Glenn’s place, he allowed me to sit at the dining room table and have peace away from him. Still in view, of course, but at a distance. With Judith. And get lost in her, if only for a little bit.

Olivia returned with the lemonade, and I could feel her glaring at me. Her urge to grab Judith from my arms, to keep her safe from ME was clear as a bell on her face. I could also tell that Negan had noticed. “Be a lamb, Olivia, be a lamb.” He was reiterating what he’d said when he requested the lemonade earlier, only now the term that I’d taken as a taunt to the other woman, took on a new meaning. A warning, I could hear it in his voice. A threat, a reminder of who he was, and that I was with him was so evident that she rushed into the kitchen to make the drink.

Once dinner was prepared, we settled around the table, looking for all the world like a family dinner with a tinge of hostage situation. There’s an extra place setting, but I’m so wrapped up in my baby sister that I don’t pay attention to the why. I’d kept Judith on my lap, but we didn’t start to eat. Negan, clearly waiting for something, or someone. And I knew, he was holding dinner for Dad. A picture he’d created, a scene that would fuck with Dad’s head a little bit more. His children, a member of his community, and the very man who’d bested him, around his very own dining room table with a meal fit for a Sunday dinner from before the world turned to shit.

Negan has the patience of a toddler. Eventually he realized that Dad wasn’t going to return just because he’d set the stage. He finally gave in and asked Carl to pass the rolls. I hated to admit it, and I damn sure wouldn’t let him know, but he made a sauce that rivaled the Italian place that I’d loved while at college. I fed Judith from her own plate. I drank a bit of the lemonade that Olivia had made. And I tried, very hard, to ignore the feeling that Negan was watching me closely.

After eating, Negan decided it was perfect weather to sit on the porch and take in the scenery. He held out his arms, once he’d taken off his jacket, and I reluctantly handed Judith back to him. He took one chair and Carl took another. Negan looked like he was enchanted by my little sister. That in her he saw something that he hadn’t seen in far too long. Did I trust it? That he wasn’t dangerous to her? No. I didn’t. Not because he’d shown violence to me or her, but because the need to keep her safe. The need to make sure that she remained innocent of the world and its dangers was one of the few things that I’d never felt numb to was amplified by my mask developing the cracks that Negan’s meddling had created.

I leaned against the banister in front of them. Close to Negan, since she was in his arms, and I hadn’t noticed that Carl’s eyes were taking in my behavior, and Negan’s.

“So my sister doesn’t get to sit?” He bit out, glaring with his one unruined eye. “She has to stay quiet, she has to just blindly follow you around?”

I closed my eyes to his challenge. He didn’t get it. And I had a feeling no one, not even the rest of my family understood. Why I’d done it, why I had to stay beside him. Carl didn’t see me. No better than anyone else had. Dad had only had a glimpse, and even he didn’t get it.

“Have you seen me order her to stand?” Negan asked. “Have you seen me tell her not to look at you or speak to you?” He was challenging my brother’s assumptions. “Jesus, were you this fucking blind before you lost your eye?” I opened my eyes to see him cradling Judith to his chest. His voice stayed low, quite even, careful not to scare her. “I’ve been thinking about what you’d said earlier, Carl. Maybe it is stupid keeping you and your dad alive.” He pulled Judith forward, bouncing her on his knee and seemingly speaking to her. “I mean why am I trying so hard? Maybe I should just bury you both down there in those flower beds.” A gesture to the manicured lawn in front of us. He was staring into Judith’s tiny face, smiling and chuckling. “And then I can just settle in the suburbs.”

My heart clenched. Fear blossoming in my chest at the thought that my deal with him was all for nothing. That my brother’s actions, that his clear challenge of Negan’s power and his seeming inability to wipe all of us out was a sign that he was weak.

We’d gone back inside Dad’s house. Negan grew tired of taunting my brother and the neighbors. Judith was fussy, too much excitement I’d guessed. He’d given her back to me, watching as I rocked her in my arms and hummed to her. He followed me upstairs to put her down for her nap. Ignoring the dagger glare of Olivia, ignoring Carl’s unasked questions, the hurt that had flickered across his face when he decided that my silence was my own choice.

I was staring down at Judith as she drifted off to sleep clutching her elephant. Leaving her, today, would be more painful than my realization that I'd given her up for the ‘greater good’ had been. Holding her, feeling the rush of feelings that I’d gone numb to, the unconditional love I had for her, made it all the rawer. He watched me, leaning in the doorway, keeping his distance, letting me have this at least.

“I wouldn’t have taken you for the maternal type, Jessi.” He kept his voice down, so Judith could rest. “I didn’t know that you fucking had her here, that she depended on you.” I could feel the intensity of his attention. “That you sacrificed your need for HER when you offered your life to me.”

I hadn’t noticed the tear falling. Didn’t even feel the usual burn warning that I would cry. His thumb brushed it from my cheek, startling me since I hadn’t heard him come closer. I kept my head down, drinking in Judith’s tiny person. Savoring it, memorizing it, so I could take this little piece of her with me. “Do you want to stay?” It was barely a breath. “Jessi, do you want to stay?”

I shook my head. A deal was a deal. And I wasn’t a shirker. Plus, I’d seen the look on Olivia’s face. The judgement. The insinuation that I was a traitor. A turncoat. In bed, I imagined her look inferred, with the enemy.

“No, I don’t want to stay.” I answered, keeping my voice as quiet as he did. “There’s nothing left here for me, nothing aside from her.” I couldn’t stop myself from running my hand down her back. Touching the softness that I’d taken care of for so damn long. “And she has other people for that now, to keep her safe.” It hurt to acknowledge that I was so easily replaced. That Dad had handed her care, her safety over without effort.

He left me there, letting me have my quiet and solace in the company of a sleeping little girl that had become my only reason to keep the motions going. The only reason that I kept up my mask. The only reason that I’d survived, even if I wasn’t living.

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

were lonan and harrison in a relationship? could you ~maybe~ share a romantic (as romantic as them two can get) excerpt between the two of them?????👀👀👀🥰

OH so u want the tea anon, I shall SERVE. This will probably make more sense if you have context on the series (which I briefly summarized HERE) but I’ll try my best to add context as we go. Here’s a comprehensive breakdown of the entire relationship! TW: this relationship is a little toxic, so tread carefully, mentions of trauma, blood, also lots of old, sorta cringe writing in this one!

1. The initial phases

The boys have had a very complex relationship from the start. At the time, I was very young, so I hadn’t sorted out sexualities for any of my characters, and over the years, they’ve all progressively come out to me, which has been a really wonderful experience.

Lonan is introduced 1/3 way through book two, when the series was still very YA dystopian. When he appears on the page, he’s been Harrison’s coworker in the ~~government, so they know each other well. They’re also nemeses. They dislike each other fiercely, but it’s kind of endearing. Clearly they have a history no one knows about (including myself), whether that’s as friends, enemies, both.

At the time of meeting, both boys are in relationships of their own, Lonan with his first serious girlfriend Holly who is Foster’s (Harrison’s best friend) sister, and Harrison with his first girlfriend, Margo, which always didn’t work (because! Harrison! is! gay!).

2. Getting warmer

In book three, the boys still hate each other, but with even more passionate vengeance. Harrison is angry at Lonan because Lonan keeps ruining his life (does this sound familiar) and Lonan is mad for no reason (does! this! sound! familiar!). This is the book where Fostered’s protagonist, Reeve, finds out Lonan is actually her half brother, and this very much changes the dynamic between Reeve and Lonan who go from trying to kill each other to ~~bonding, which by proxy, changes the dynamic between Lonan and Harrison because Harrison is essentially an older brother figure to Reeve. They’re kind of forced to make some form of amends in this book, but don’t become allies until 1/2-3/4 through.

Big tea is that they take a solo trip together and this is where I first hint at the SHIP (ft. Harrison’s very kind nickname for Lonan: Loner). The squad discussing romance:

“Really Foster? With Loner? Oh my god, out of all of the guys in this world, you paired me up with Loner?”

“Yeah, well why not? You both seem awfully close–”

Foster on Lonan and Harrison’s relationship:

“You guys are practically a married old couple. You even have nicknames for each other…”

3. Making progress

In book four, the boys have amended their destructive relationship, somewhat, and are kind of friends! Between books three and four, we can assume they’ve gotten closer as Harrison seems to know things about Lonan’s past that even his sister doesn't. I’d say they have a pretty productive friendship at this point. Lonan, however, starts a pretty intense romance with a woman named Glenne who reappears in Feeding Habits, and Harrison finds a dog! This is really becoming too similar to what’s happening currently oh! Here’s the first moment where I began squealing at this ship:

The both of them lie on their backs, staring straight up at the ceiling. Blood pools from Ris’ nose, slicing his cheek in two. Lonan’s eye is black, tears still seeping from them in slow, agonizing lines. They don’t look at each other. They don’t speak.

But when I look down, they’re clutching each other’s hands, so tightly, the blood between their fingers drips to the floor. 

THE SHIP THE SHIP THE SHIP

4. The ship?? is it sailing??

In book five, the boys seemingly have gotten even closer! The boys have a lot of one-on-one time before the start of the book because they create an entire underground empire together lol but Lonan’s mental health has taken a dip for the worst as past traumas from book four follow him into book five, and Harrison is a big support. Their emotional intimacy has deepened, even if they are only friends (Harrison is single and READY to mingle but Lonan’s still in a relationship with Glenne).

Here’s a line where Reeve states “so haha Harrison is the only person who can make my brother feel better”:

I’ve brought Harrison with me. Not because I don’t trust Lonan, and what he’s capable of, but because I think, out of every one of us, he’s the only one that can get through to him when he’s like this.

I mentioned Lonan’s mental health is not doing great, and at its worst point, Harrison goes out of his way to do the difficult task of tracking Lonan’s mother, Izzy, down so that he can have more support. He pretends to reach out under the guise that he’s actually Reeve:

“Don’t tell him,” Harrison breathes, running a hand through his hair. “The last thing I want him thinking is that I gave enough of a shit to actually, I don’t know, care about him.”

“But you do, don’t you?” Mom laughs when he only flushes deeply, taking a final sip on her tea, which must be nothing but lukewarm at this point. “Seriously, Harrison, right? You two are such teases with one another. You bicker like a married couple.”

5. Harrison says I love you: 

(it’s in a funny context but STILL)

“See, this—this is why I love you, Lonan.” Harrison says, swipes the tears from the corner of his eyes with the heel of his palm.

“What did you say?” Lonan asks, and not even biting his lip is enough to stop the goofy smile that peels across his face. “Did you just use the L word?”

6. This ship has come to a halt??

At the end of book five and the beginning of book six, Lonan and Harrison are not on speaking terms. This is because everything seems to go wrong for everyone at the same time. Harrison keeps secrets Lonan wishes he hadn’t, etc. Lonan and Glenne’s relationship falls apart and no one is happy.

Here’s Reeve saying Harrison’s heart is broken over how badly he feels for Lonan and that loss of friendship (SOFT):

I always wondered with Harrison and Lonan, if it were possible to have your heart broken over love that wasn’t romantic... Harrison’s heart broke over Lonan’s torment.

Reeve explains the state of their relationship:

Lonan and Harrison haven’t shared a word since their fight. But we’ve all had duties to tend to, so they’ve still been forced to interact, but even then, it’s radio silence. Sometimes there are glares and scowls involved, but other than that—nothing. It’s the longest they’ve gone without talking, as far as I know. Ris and Lonan might have had a similar conflict when they were co-workers, but from what I’ve witnessed of their relationship, this is more than just a warning sign.

The two make amends after a few weeks of not talking because mutual friend of the squad, Darren, calls Harrison to be like “haha so Lonan and Reeve are disasters please help” and so their reunion is kind of forced:

[Harrison] knows [Lonan and I are] standing there. The involuntary twitch of his ears, the tense of shoulders when the weight of both our stares pin them down. He knows. But he doesn’t look up. He keeps his attention fixed on the bubbling eggs in front of him, the old red spatula that now misses its spot in the cupboard.

Lonan immediately takes a step back, almost knocks me over in the process. It’s not shock, it’s not anger, it’s nothing. Just a passive jolt that makes him clench his jaw, and pull himself together. His eyes, as usual, are safeguarded, prepared to launch back any form of advance.

“You guys gonna stand there for the next hour, or what?” Harrison turns as he says that, and it’s a sting, yet relief when he looks at me first, and not Lonan. “Seriously, you can talk if you want to. It’s not gonna bother me. You look lovely, by the way.”

Silence, but around the skin I peel off my lip with my incisors, I say, “Thanks.”

“Actually,” Ris unzips his jacket, throws it over the back of one of the chairs. “I was talking to him.”

At this point, we feel a few things: a) Harrison is done with Lonan and his toxic patterns but still cares b) Lonan feels somewhat suffocated by Harrison’s attempts to help and the relationship, though a little more civil, is still volatile.

Their second reunion again, is inevitable, which Reeve explains as the squad set out to rescue Foster lol:

Lonan’s coming with us too. That wasn’t my call, or Harrison’s, even. It’s mutual, albeit wordless, the agreement we have that we’d rather find Foster without him. Though his motives steer somewhere closer to wanting to avoid pissy attitudes, we both know Lonan’s of no use if he’s injured. And from the looks of his eye that’s gotten worse, crusted in blood, like a leaked pipe gooed over, and the lacerations across his ribs, sewn shut by my unsteady hand, he isn’t ready for a mission like this. But who am I to control him. I’m not his mother. 

7. Back on track?

Reeve outlines a false backstory for Harrison’s iconic leather jacket in the 250-word sentence from a few years ago (she’s in Harrison’s room) and we hint at an actual, palpable romance:

...pretend not to have a flask of whiskey hidden behind his headboard, drink out of it when he falls in love and drink out of it when he falls back out of it, meet a boy who will drink half of it with him, who will hurt him, and hate him, who will be pasted in polaroids behind the map he’s tried to cover him up with, who he’ll kiss and take a picture with, sometimes both at the same time...

8. Or not

But when she brings the romance up shortly after, Harrison seems a lil *tense* about it:

“I saw those pictures. In your room. Behind the map? I saw you. You kissed him.”

Harrison’s jaw trembles. Clenched by the joint, skin concave in the bone. Takes another puff of the cigarette but almost bites off the tip. Curls of the cherry wood table catch under his fingernails. 

Harrison denies his feelings for Lonan, tho from the above, we’re not exactly sure why:

“You’re wrong.” And then louder, when I don’t say anything. “You’re wrong. I don’t like your brother.”

 “Then why are you hiding him from [Emily]?”

From this, we can assume the boys had somewhat of a productive, healthy romance threaded through the end of book 5, and in sprinklings in book 6, though it seems to not be in a very hot place currently. We see flashes of this in the “mini” stories I’ve written about the boys (Lampshade, Fishbowl, and Mandarin).

9. Jump into Moth Work

In book 6, Lonan has a bit of a resurgence back into a bad frame of mind when something bad happens to his sister and he feels he could’ve prevented it. This leads closer to the present of Moth Work as Harrison makes the decision to take him to his father’s cabin on the west coast, a place he hopes Lonan’s mother, Izzy, will be. She is there, but unlike the first time in book 5 where she helped him, Izzy’s a bit far gone with her own problems, namely a drug addiction. Lonan is unhappy at the cabin, tho this decision leads us into Moth Work as the squad, except for Lonan and Harrison, leave the cabin for the east coast.

In Moth Work, the relationship seems to be teeming into unhealthy as both parties (but mostly Lonan) need to work on themselves. The entire book centres on this conflict as a) Harrison tries to help Lonan who is still unwell, while struggling to realize this is just something he can’t do and b) Lonan struggles with accepting himself and also being a better, accountable human.

10. Oh god here comes Eliza

Lonan is so hyperfocused on himself and understanding his traumas that he struggles to prioritize others over himself, even when he doesn’t mean to. This becomes really emotionally exhausting for Harrison, so in ch. 5 of MW, they physically split. Lonan winds up in Las Vegas, looking for Eliza, his father’s ex-girlfriend, and OH BOY does a bizarre, unplanned (for all of us lmao) romance ensue. This relationship takes a nosedive, even in its best parts because its foundation is laid upon mistruths.

11. Harrison is back

In chapter 12 of MW, Harrison, who’s been entertaining a romance with someone else in the interim, appears at Eliza’s apartment to make amends with Lonan who he can’t seem to shake off (he’s a pesky moth haha). This shakes them both as a) Harrison isn’t sure about Eliza and her potential motivations, and b) Lonan, without Harrison, most definitely knows he’s done hurtful things to “better himself” (which is actually toxic).

12. Lonan says I love you

Lonan realizes how important Harrison is to him, and while they both inevitably know their relationship isn’t going to work out, which Harrison hints at, they share a wholesome moment at the “beautiful place” which I mention in MW writing updates:

“You’re not coming back with me,” Harrison says.

Lonan takes hold of the guardian angel, and gingerly, like it’s fragile enough to crumple, brings it to his mouth and kisses it. His lip glints, just as the angel does, in the moonlight. He lets the angel fall, swaying like a pendulum, and pulls his hand back slowly. Quietly, he says, “I think I’ve loved you a long time.”

13. Inevitable split

Harrison makes the decision to not stick around for Lonan because he’s realized it’s actually unproductive for them both to try to make a relationship work in the state it’s in. Structurally, Lonan needs to change, and he realizes that. Harrison leaves Las Vegas to live with his mother and that leads us to Feeding Habits.

14. Where are we in Feeding Habits?

Lonan has been in a strange relationship with Eliza for about six months, and Harrison’s been living with his mother in NYC after a few destructive instances that prompt her to host an intervention. While Lonan learns a lot about himself and grows a lot in this book, Harrison struggles because I really think he’s hurting over the end of their romance. This is truly a hurt bae moment.

TL;DR: Lonan needs to work on himself & be accountable for his actions before he gets into a relationship with anyone, and Harrison has to learn when to keep his emotional spoons for himself and that he can’t control how much he helps someone, even when he wants to. In my head, I know where the relationship ends (happily ever after), but this is just the very, very beginning, so there’s a lot that both sides need to work out before we get there.

Since you particularly asked for a romantical excerpt, the last chapter of MW is under the cut. It’s imperfect but I think it kind of sums up everyone’s feelings pretty nicely.

--Rachel

Chapter 15: Summon Away

He sees Lonan once the next morning. Sitting at the kitchen table over a cup of steeped tea—something floral and springy. Harrison watches him from the couch and can’t remember at what point he fell asleep last night. He’s not sure if he even did—if all he remembers is Eliza leaving, and then a blank wall.

Lonan is reading the newspaper. Every few minutes, he flips the page so new cheap colours and words blot against his fingertips. Harrison doesn’t move at first. It’s easier to watch him. How in the trickle of morning sun, his hair is a damp brown. How his eyes take to that glow, their translucent sparkle.

When Lonan has sipped four times from the mug, Harrison finally rises. No sign of Eliza sounds, and he’s grateful for it. This morning, he knows what he’s doing.

“What is that?” Harrison asks, pulling back a barstool with one hand, while pointing at the mug with another.

Lonan glances up, and the two mutually analyze each other. Lonan’s puckered skin, how morning makes his eyelashes papery, like wings. He wonders what Lonan sees in him—for a moment, it’s all he wants to know.

Lonan knuckles the mug over and Harrison picks it up like he’s holding an eyeball. The tea is hot, though Lonan hasn’t seemed to mind, and its flowery perfume burns Harrison’s throat. Lonan pulls the mug back to him when Harrison’s done, and takes another sip.            

“I still have no idea,” Harrison says, and to his shame, studies Lonan’s face for a bite wound.

“Earl grey.”

“Sounds fancy.”

“It expired four years ago.”

Harrison gasps, and Lonan almost smiles. And for a moment, Harrison almost forgets where he is. What happened at this counter just a few hours prior. With Lonan, it almost disappears. They could be back at the cabin, needling through the woods on that first day they tried to get rid of the darkroom. They could be in the water, shielding, yet simultaneously pushing each other under. They could be dancing to no music in a tiny bathroom or driving for carless miles in the tarnish of rain. Harrison traces Lonan’s face, each line that etches his eyes, nose, mouth, hair, and he doesn’t stop.

“You’re up early,” Lonan says finally. “Did I wake you up?”

Harrison shakes his head. He clutches the edge of the counter and tries not to tremble. Lonan is pretending to read the paper. He tries to fill in a miniature sudoku game in his head, follow along to headlines, but Harrison knows he isn’t. Through the skin of the paper, Harrison watches him watching him. Harrison doesn’t know what he dreamt of last night. If it was a good dream. If he’d want to dream it again. If he dreamt at all.

“I found this article,” Lonan says, and turns the paper over. It’s not very long, just a small corner of the entire page, but Harrison sees the title, all bolded, Summer’s Dreaded Pesk: 10 Facts About Moths. He leans in closer to read it.

The facts are almost all useless to him—that moths like sweet things, that there are thousands of species, that many don’t eat, but what sticks out to him is the last: how they’re attracted to light. Harrison skims the text with his fingernail, reads something about light traps, and tries not to think of how unfortunate it all is—to move toward light and then stop moving altogether.

“What does it mean?” Harrison’s voice catches.

Lonan doesn’t say anything. They just watch each other, and then the article, alternating until they can almost do both at once.

Harrison looks away first. He inhales, and tries to steady himself, but when he knows he’s going to break, reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out the chain. He took it off last night and put it in there, and today, he unravels it carefully. He shoulders off his eyes, and in his palm, displays the angel. Its crystals beam in the sunlight that hits them both, and though it misses a jewel, has never looked more beautiful.

He almost says something but catches himself. He knows whatever he will say will keep him here, in this sun, on this barstool, reading the newspaper about moths, sitting next to Lonan, drinking his tea, never knowing what flavour it is. Harrison inhales, and on his exhale, unclasps the chain and drapes it around Lonan’s throat.

When the angel hits Lonan’s chest, a sound comes out of his mouth that Harrison thinks is almost animal. Harrison’s hand lingers on the back of Lonan’s neck when he clasps it, feeling the pulse of Lonan’s heartbeat, even from all the way up here.

Lonan clutches the angel when Harrison pulls back, and he doesn’t let go, even when Harrison rises.

“I’m going to grab a pack of cigarettes,” Harrison says, speaking to the ray of sun next to Lonan’s face. “Is there a gas station around here?”

“Just up the road.”

“Do you want anything?”

“I don’t think so.”

Harrison nods. Then he steps back, away from the kitchen, and slips his shoes on, one by one, more carefully than he’s ever done before. He knows Lonan looks at him. He knows what’ll be in his eyes if he looks up—and so he doesn’t. Harrison checks his jacket pocket for his car keys, and when they jangle, he turns toward the door.

“How long?”

Lonan’s voice makes him jump.

“Pardon?”

“How long will you be gone?”

Harrison frowns. “I’m just grabbing a pack of cigarettes.”

Lonan is the one to nod this time. He’s such a pretty sun baby, golden and capable.

“Before you go,” Lonan says, and closes the newspaper so it sits as a square on the counter. He doesn’t continue. All he does is gesture Harrison forward, his fingers weak as they curl twice—a beckoning.

Harrison takes a step forward. And then another. He doesn’t move closer than that. His head pounds; his heart bleeds too much. Lonan meets him in a place he won’t go, stepping out of his seat so they both stand in a patch of light that makes the dishware in the glass cabinet sparkle. Harrison says nothing when Lonan puts a hand on his cheek. Pushes a strand of his hair behind his ear, connects the dots of his freckles in a quick sweep because he’s done this before and knows exactly where they are. Harrison says nothing when Lonan kisses him. How his lips taste like the tea—a flavour he’s already forgotten, but that he knows. He doesn’t move. He just lets him touch, and touch, until he’s finished, until the lack of his mouth on Harrison’s finally feels like he needs it back immediately.

“A pack of gum, maybe,” Lonan says, and wrings his lip between his finger.

“A pack of gum.”

Harrison steps back. The sun is getting brighter now—it lights the kitchen like the lace on a doily, a warm glimmer like being underwater at dawn. He leaves the apartment without his angel, and keeps going, even when he wants to turn back.

 ***

Harrison buys the pack of cigarettes. And then the gum. And then he finds his mother.

She isn’t hard to locate. A quick question at the checkout counter, and he finds out the apartment complex near the public garden is only a fifteen-minute drive away.

It’s just as he pictures it. A white building, with a white lobby, the bricks white, the carpets white, the tables white. In little places, there are bits of gold—lining the keyboard the security guard types at, on the edges of every window so it’s only visible when the sun flashes.

In his hand, he holds a bouquet of roses from the convenience store. They’re cold and wet, and dampen his palms, but he clutches onto them in the elevator. When he gets off, he navigates through the hallway until he reaches her door—217.

He hesitates before knocking. Something in his heart is missing, and he knows exactly who, but he knocks anyway, two quick taps that he’s surprised she hears.

When his mother answers the door, she’s still wearing her pajamas. And they aren’t the pajamas he’d expect her to wear—no silks, laces, tank tops, fuzzy slippers. Instead, she’s in a too-big trucker t-shirt and a pair of wearing sweatpants. He doesn’t know why this comforts him. Or why this makes him cry when he hands her the roses.

He is swept into her apartment in a cloud of tears and he lets them fall as he collapses on his mother’s welcome mat. She smells like coffee, and clementines, and he clings to her when she holds him, when she pats his hair, his cheeks, his neck, the clamminess of her what he feeds on.

“It’s not going to last forever,” she says as she pats him again, on the floor with him now, crying with him now. And he repeats this: it’s not going to last forever, it’s not going to last forever, and he doesn’t know if this is supposed to be a good thing.

 ***

His mother has a balcony too. At it, they sit together, mostly silent, though Suzanna comments on the madeleines she unboxed for them to try ever so often, as if their flavour changes, though it never does. He can’t remember what he explained—it feels like so long ago that he arrived, even though it’s been less than an hour. He doesn’t know what he knows, if Lonan knows his trip to the gas station is going to be prolonged. His words were a woven mess when he spoke to his mother, of their messy love, of the unknown tea, of the moths, of so much more with that kiss.

Now, his mother massages his hand absently while paging through a book. He doesn’t know what book. It could say encyclopedia or academia, or amnesia—he can’t read it. She peeks at him too often, but he revels in it, the worry there, a care he doesn’t know how to handle, as if it’s fragile and wrapped in moth wings. Ahead, the city crumbles, and he can’t stop the pictures he sees in the clouds.

His mother reads. Harrison watches. A father and son down below, who take turns walking their golden retriever. A food stand vendor that hands a stack of checked tissues to a mother wrangling four small children. A couple who take photos in front of a cherub fountain, how he can almost hear the mechanical click of their camera from fifty feet up. Something stirs inside of him, at the thought of Lonan back in that golden apartment, and he only realizes what it is much later, when his mother is heating up something spiced and leftover in the microwave. The feeling like being buried alive and wanting to do it again just so someone can pull you out. A loneliness he sucks on until his mouth sores.

[sasakisniko]

Carol, Tara, and/or Alex! :)

All three of my faves! Thank you so much for the ask, Sady!!!

And, yeah, I really have a type. To the point where I read a Carol meta a couple weeks ago that I very much agreed with and thought “Oh, shit, I’ve written almost the exact same thing about Alex.”

Carol:

Why I like them: I love her heart and her selflessness. This woman feels every person she kills. She doesn’t enjoy it, she’s not numb to it. It hurts her. And yet she’s willing to do anything to protect the people she loves, no matter how much it destroys her.

Why I don’t: This isn’t something I dislike about her, but I wish she would give herself a break. That she would let herself be taken care of the way she takes care of everyone. I hope she does someday.

Favorite episode (scene if movie): No Sanctuary, probably.

Favorite season/movie: Season 5, I think, though season 2 would be a close second.

Favorite line: “I didn’t think I could be strong. I didn’t know I already was.” (Probably not the exact quote, but, you know, we’re going off the top of my head here).

Favorite outfit: The season 4 outfit at the prison with the pinkish free people shirt with the little cutouts on the sleeves. And the boots. Though I must say the first s4 shirt (the blue and white one with the patches on the sleeves) is the most comfortable.

OTP: Caryl (Carol and Daryl)

Brotp: Carol and Tara.

Head Canon: I’m sure I have some, but it’s been so long I’ve probably convinced myself that they’re canon by now.

Unpopular opinion: I mean, just my love for her is unpopular within a lot of the fandom, considering the number of people I’ve seen wishing her dead.

A wish: That she gets to relieve herself of her burdens. I want her to talk about Lizzie and everything else that’s been weighing on her, everything that I think makes her think she’s a monster. Ideally, I’d like her to tell Daryl about all of this. Because I think he sees her the most clearly and I think she trusts his judgment and sees him as a good man. So that not changing the way he sees her would really be wonderful.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: I mean, this is the twd universe. I don’t want her to die.

5 words to best describe them: Selfless, loving, brave, survivor, resourceful

My nickname for them: My queen

Tara:

Why I like them: She tried to be the best person she could. She was really moral and always tried to do what she could to make amends.

Why I don’t: I don’t love the OOC bs they pulled where they had her basically do to Oceanside exactly what the Governor did to the prison. That was not Tara.

Favorite episode (scene if movie): Swear, probably. Getting to spend an entire episode on Tara was a gift.

Favorite season/movie: Season 4, probably?

Favorite line: “The world can belong to good people, to fair people, if we’re all just brave enough to try.”

Favorite outfit: The outfit she was wearing when she first met our people (Glenn and everyone else).

OTP: Denara (Tara and Denise)

Brotp: Tara and Carol

Head Canon: Again, I am sure I have some, but trying to remember them is a struggle.

Unpopular opinion: Her betraying Oceanside was the most out of character bullshit and I will never stop being angry about it. I think they fucked her over as a character to push the plot where they wanted. Also, apparently it’s unpopular to think she’s stunning (because this fandom is gross).

A wish: For her death to have been a lie.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: It happened. I am still heartbroken.

5 words to best describe them: moral, brave, funny, loving, compassionate

My nickname for them: My angel. My hero.

Alex:

Why I like them: I love his belief in people’s capacity for good. I love that he tries so hard to be the best person he can be. I love his heart, how much love he has in him and how he gives it, in spite of all his trauma.

Why I don’t: I don’t like the way he lets the people he loves treat him. I get it, but I don’t like it. I’m proud of him for standing up to his dad and for calling Kyle out on his past behavior, but I wish he could do the same to the people he loves who mistreat him.

Favorite episode (scene if movie): Barely Breathing. Watching him take on his father was a gift. I cheered so many times. Though my fave scene of his was at the end of 109. Watching him fight for what he wants was the best.

Favorite season/movie: Season 1

Favorite line: All of Would You Come Home.

Favorite outfit: I mean, we all know the answer is the one he’s wearing in the Airstream in 103. AKA nothing. But, if I have to choose actual clothes, the outfit he wore outside the Airstream at the very end of season 1.

OTP: Malex (Michael and Alex)

Brotp: Alex and Kyle

Head Canon: I mean, most of my “head canons” where Alex is involved are more interpretations of canon that may be different from other people’s. One of mine is that he was actually in regular contact with Maria when he was at war and he would have done the same with Liz if he knew how to get ahold of her. I know some people (namely those who hate him) want to believe otherwise, but we know he has said how important showing up for the people you care about is for him. And we know he was very aware of what was going on with Maria in regards to Mimi and kept checking in with her. I think he probably visited the both of them a lot when he was on leave.

Unpopular opinion: I mean, among Alex fans? I was actually okay with him hoping that his dad could change. I get hoping that your abusive parent will love you the way they’re supposed to. And I saw it as connected to his feelings about himself. In 112, he suggested he saw himself as a monster (after calling his father a monster in 105). In 113, he said he sometimes sees his father when he looks at himself in the mirror. I think he needs to hope his father can change because he needs to hope that he can change. Or else? Well, there was that quote about having only one way off the planet.

A wish: I wish he saw himself the way Kyle sees him.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen: I mean, we all know CAM promised she wouldn’t kill him. And I don’t think Chris would either. But that’s still my ‘oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen’. That or another horrifingly triggering scene like the one in 206.

5 words to best describe them: *runs off to find what three Tyler gave because he gave the best ones* loyal, resilient, compassionate, self-sacrificing, brave

My nickname for them: ‘my actual cinnamon roll’.

[ddixons-angel]

Fated: Season 4

Summary: Gloria Rhee narrowly escapes Atlanta with her brother as the outbreak reaches the city. Luckily, they find a camp outside the city and together, they fend through encounters with the living and undead.

Starts a little before Season 1 and then follows the main storyline of the show.

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x Glenn Sister!OC

Warnings: major TWD spoilers, language, violence (the typical TWD stuff)

A/N: This is the FINAL CHAPTER of Season 4! I’ll be going back to posting once a week after this for Seasons 5 and 6 so the first chapter of Season 5 will be up next Monday!!! This is so I can hopefully finish my WIPs for after Fated is over so I won’t need to take a hiatus ^^ Thank you guys for understanding~ Now... ONTO THE FINALE!

also I wanted to find the uncensored version of the gif because it is literally my favorite line of the whole show but I couldn’t get a decent one *sad face* 

Chapter 13

The group decided to take up camp inside the tunnel. They had barricaded the other side so that the only entrance would be on the far end of the tunnel and by the time anyone or anything tried to get in, the group would hear it and be prepared. Eugene had created a campfire in the middle of the tracks as the others cleared up the rest of the bodies. Now, they were all sitting by the campfire, huddled together as Abraham told Sasha, Bob, and Gloria about their plans to go to Washington. Apparently, Eugene knew what had caused the outbreak and they were on a mission to fix it, cure whatever disease they were all infected with and maybe even repair the whole world. 

“What’s up?” Maggie asks when her, Glenn, Rosita, and Tara, the woman who helped Glenn, joins them by the campfire.

“He just said,” Sasha says, pointing to Abraham, then at Eugene, “that he knows what caused the outbreak.”

“Yeah, he does... and let me guess, he asked you to go to DC with him?” Glenn says, crossing his arms. 

“I’m downright tickled y’all found each other. Should spend the rest of the night celebrating, because tomorrow there’s absolutely no reason why the nine of us don’t stuff ourselves in that van and head up to Washington.” Abraham says, matter-of-factly. 

“He’s right,” Tara says, “I’m gonna go.”

Gloria looks around the group as they all seem to be in silent agreement, “no, he’s wrong.”

“And why’s that?” Abraham says with a frown.

“Because you said there’s absolutely no reason why we shouldn’t go to Washington together, well I have a reason not to go.” Gloria says, she then turns to Glenn, “now that I know you’re alive, you and Maggie go with them, it’s safer for you in a group.”

“No!” Glenn protests, “no way in hell am I letting you go off on your own, if you’re not going then neither am I.”

“And may we know what your reason is?” Abraham pushes, his tone was condescending as if any reason she gave wouldn’t be enough.

“There’s someone else I need to find, and I’m not going anywhere without him.” Gloria tells him straightforwardly. 

Knowing that she was talking about Daryl, Glenn reaches out to her and gently grabs her arm, “then we’ll find him together.”

The group turned in for the night and Gloria took it upon herself to take first watch. She sits on the side of the railroad track and looks out towards the only entrance and exit point of the tunnel. She sighs as she feels the lingering void in her heart. Earlier when they were all sharing their rations, Gloria couldn’t help but feel alone. She was happy that Bob and Sasha had each other, ecstatic that Glenn and Maggie found each other again, and it seemed like Abraham and Rosita had something between them. Being surrounded by couples, it was hard not to miss Daryl. She tugs the shirt that she was wearing around her, wrapping it tightly around her, Daryl’s shirt. 

“I hope you’re okay...” she whispers as if he could hear it. 

Gloria was so caught up in her thoughts that she didn’t notice that Glenn had approached her until he sat down beside her. She quickly wipes the stray tear that fell then glances at him.

“Why aren’t you sleeping?” she asks him.

“What kind of brother would I be if I slept while my little sister is crying to herself?” Glenn says, looking at her, “talk to me.”

“I’m scared... what if I don’t find him... what if he’s already...” she sighs deeply, unable to finish her sentence before her emotions take over. 

“Hey... come here,” Glenn says as he wraps his arm around her, pulling her into a comforting embrace, “we’ll find him, I already convinced the others to go to Terminus, that’ll be the first place we look, and if he isn’t there, we don’t go to DC until we find him.”

“What if he didn’t make it out...” Gloria softly sobs out.

“He made it,” Glenn reassures her, “if anyone made it out, it’s him, you know more than anyone how much of a fighter he is.”

Gloria nods and snuggles into her brother, “I miss him...”

“I know, and I’m sure he misses you too. He’s probably doing everything he can to find you too. Tell you what, if he’s not there at Terminus when we get there, we can wait for him to find us, what do you say?” Glenn suggests.

A small smile tugs at Gloria’s lips and she nods. She remembers back to Daryl’s words, that he’d always be able to find her. She knew that Glenn was right, if anyone made it out from the prison, it would be Daryl. She felt guilty that she almost gave in to thinking that he might have died in the battle. Gloria needed to have faith and trust that Daryl is still alive and looking for her as well. 

---

“So... you and Bob?” Gloria teases Sasha as she walks beside her.

“Ugh, I knew I was gonna hear it from you sooner or later,” Sasha shakes her head but there was still a smile on her face. 

“I’m just surprised,” Maggie chimes in, “we both thought you hated him.”

“I did not,” Sasha rolls her eyes. 

“Then you just thought he was extremely annoying?” Gloria asks.

“Hey, I’m right here and I can hear you,” Bob calls out, an amused smile tugging at his lips.

“I know,” Gloria grins at him teasingly.

“Guys,” Glenn calls out as he leads the group, “I think we found it...”

It was a day’s walk from the tunnel to Terminus but there it was, standing tall with fences around it. Large letters in the windows that read TERMINUS. The group of nine glance at each other before making their way to the gate, pushing it open and walking towards the large building. They see a sign that directs them into the alleyway between the arrangement of buildings.

“‘Lower your weapons, you will be met. You have arrived at Terminus’.” Gloria reads the sign that was displayed on the main entrance of the building, she looks at Glenn, “should we listen?”

“They’ll only be hostile if we are, so, yeah, I say we listen.” Glenn says.

The others agree with him and enter the premises with their weapons lowered. As they walk through the alleyway, they are soon met by the backside of a woman who seems to be cooking on a barbeque stove. She seems to have noticed the group as she turns around and greets them with a welcoming smile.

“Hi, I’m Mary,” she says as she walks in front of the barbeque, “looks like you’ve been on the road a while.”

“We have,” Maggie responds for the whole group.

“Let’s get you settled and we’ll make you a plate.” Mary says then adds with a smile, “welcome to Terminus.”

“Thank you, uh, I’m Glenn, this is my sister Gloria, my wife Maggie, Bob, Sasha, Tara, Rosita, Eugene, and Abraham.” he says, gesturing to each respective person as he introduces the group. 

“Pleased to meet you all,” she says, then she goes back behind the stove and puts some pieces of meat on the grill, “Gareth! Alex! Please come out here and welcome our new group of friends!”

Soon enough, two men come out and greet the group with a smile, “hi! I’m Gareth and this is Alex. First we’d like to welcome you to Terminus. If you don’t mind coming with us to that building over there, that’s where we will be starting the welcoming process, you know the basics, screening, checking your weapons, questioning, and all that. I hope you understand that even though we’re welcoming to every person, we still need to think of our safety.”

The approach of the procedure seemed understandable and so the group agreed to follow Gareth and Alex into the building he had pointed to earlier. Once they were outside the building, Gareth began explaining the details of the procedure.

“As I mentioned, there is a questioning process and I hope you guys understand that we will only be letting in one person at a time. The reason for that is the last time we did a group questioning... well let’s just say that some of the people who were with us when it happened, aren’t here anymore, and we don’t want anything close to that happening ever again.” Gareth explains.

They all nod at this, it seems reasonable since they were only trying to protect their own people. However, something about it rubbed Gloria the wrong way. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but she just didn’t get a good feeling about the place now that she was actually here. Abraham was the first one to go in for questioning as he wanted to make sure it was safe for Eugene to go in right after him. 

“Older brother,” Gloria says in Korean softly to Glenn, “I don’t have a good feeling about this place.”

Glenn looks at her and responds in Korean, “come on, we already made it and you have a bad feeling now?”

“I can’t explain it but I just don’t...” she says then looks around and eyes the meat on the barbeque, “isn’t this place supposed to be a train station?”

“I think so, why?” Glenn asks.

“Do you smell manure or anything like that?” she asks, earning a weird look from Glenn.

“I don’t. What are you getting at?” he asks.

“This is a train station with no sign of a farm to raise cattle and yet there’s a ton of what looks like fresh meat cooking on the stove, you don’t find that weird?” Gloria points out.

Glenn registers her words and it dawns on him that she’s right. He could probably play it off if this were some kind of meat processing plant with a large freezer to store meat but this was just a train station. Unbeknownst to the siblings, Gareth seemed to be eyeing the two as they spoke in their mother tongue, wary and curious as to what they were saying.

“Everything okay?” Maggie asks, noting their serious faces.

Glenn tightens his lips and forces a smile as he nods to Maggie, “yeah, yeah, everything’s fine.” 

Gloria gives him a look and tells him in Korean, “listen, when it’s your turn, ask if you can bring sister-in-law with you, I don’t trust you going in there alone.”

Before Glenn could give her a response, the door to the building opens and Glenn is next in line to go in. He glances at Alex who smiles at him, waiting for him to enter the building. He looks back at Gloria who gives him a disapproving look. 

“I uh... I know it’s custom for you guys to just take in one person at a time, but is it okay if I bring my wife in?” Glenn asks Gareth, heeding Gloria’s word.

Alex looks over at Gareth who smiles at him and nods, “I don’t see why not.”

Maggie furrows her brows, slightly confused at the request but goes into the building with Glenn anyway, trusting him. Gloria watches with worry as the door closes behind them and her look is caught by Gareth.

“Hey, Gloria, right?” Gareth calls out, “I know you’re worried about whether or not we’re good people, but I promise you that we are. We just want to survive, just like you.”

Gloria forces a smile on her face and nods. She doesn’t verbally answer him though as she anxiously waits for her turn. Curiosity was eating at her, were Glenn and Maggie okay? Was it really just a simple questioning or was it something more? She is about to find out as the door opens and Alex greets her with a smile. Gloria sighs and enters the building without a second thought. He leads her down a hallway and into a smaller room. The inside of the room looked just like that of a guidance counselor’s office in high school, only difference being that the desk was empty and there were no chairs. Two people were already inside the room but they looked to be guards as they stood in the corner of the room. 

“First, I’d like to ask you to put your weapons on the desk, we’re going to be doing a body search before the questioning.” Alex tells her once she’s standing in front of the desk.

Gloria lets out a breath and does as she’s told, removing her daggers from her belt along with the gun she’d taken from Joe’s men. She places them on the desk. 

“Good,” Alex says with a smile then he goes over to, “now for the body search, hope you don’t mind.”

“I’ll let you know with a kick in the face if you make me feel uncomfortable,” Gloria spits out, not liking the vibe Alex was giving her.

“Feisty,” he chuckles then begins to check her body for any additional or hidden weapons in which he did not find, “nothing, that’s good.”

Alex steps away from Gloria then he looks behind her to send one of the guards a signal. She frowns as she catches the eye signal and she tries to turn around but she’s caught by the guard. Gloria freezes when she feels a gun pointed to her back and the guard ushers her out of the room and out of the building altogether through another door. He keeps the gun pressed to her back as he brings her to a large red train car with a big white ‘A’ painted on the side. He roughly pushes her forward but keeps the gun aimed at her.

“Open the door and go in,” he tells her, “now!”

Gloria sighs and does as told, sliding the door to the train car open and stepping inside. The door closes behind her almost immediately and she lets her eyes adjust to the darkness of the train car.

“I hate to admit it... but you were right.” Glenn says somewhere in the train car.

She scoffs at that and raises her arms to feel around the place so she doesn’t run into a wall, “I’m always right.”

Once she finds the wall, she leans her back on it, “now what?”

“Figure out a way to get the hell out of here.” Maggie says, standing on Glenn’s other side. 

“And how would we do that?” Abraham asks, leaning on the opposite wall of Gloria. 

“They have to open the doors here some time, right? Keep us fed, hydrated, if they were going to kill us, they would have already.” Glenn reasons.

“They’re going to kill us...” Gloria says and she feels Glenn throw her a disappointed look although she can’t see it, “the meat they were cooking up, what do you think that was?”

“Long pork,” Eugene pipes up, “I found it bizarre, there’s no emanation of manure in the air which means no livestock. As we may have noticed this is a train terminal of sorts, and in my knowledge there is no equipment within these facilities to act as any form of preservation of meats such as a cooler or refrigerator. I believe that we have just become their livestock.”

Gloria looks at Abraham,” does he always talk like that?”

“He does.” Abraham nods. 

“Wait, so you’re saying they’re... cannibals?” Glenn says, a look of horror on his face.

“It’s smart.. Disgusting and absolutely inhumane... but smart,” Maggie says, “they set up signs for people to come to them as a lure... and we fell straight into their trap...” 

“We gotta figure out a plan to get out of here before they butcher us...” Gloria stated the obvious with a heavy sigh. 

One by one, the doors open to let in the others of their group but after that, no one from Terminus comes to check up on the group. They were all stuck in there, with no way out nor any indication of a schedule for them to try an ambush attack. The only sign of day and night was from the light that poured into the small holes and cracks of the train car. 

A full day had gone by and there was nothing they could do about their situation. The only positive to this was that none of them were dead. 

“I can’t believe it...” Gloria mutters, “we were all so busy running from the dead trying to eat us, we run straight into a stupid trap for other people to try and eat us.”

“That’s not helping, Gloria.” Glenn groans.

She scoffs and is about to say something else when she hears gunshots coming from nearby, “did you guys hear that?”

“That’s gunfire if I ever heard it,” Abraham says.

“Are they getting attacked?” Tara asks.

“Oh I really fucking hope so.” Gloria says as she tries to look out one of the small holes. 

The gunfire continues for a brief moment then stops completely. They all hear a voice that sounds like Gareth shouting but they aren’t able to comprehend what he was saying. Soon the door opens, blinding them all as light floods into the train car. Someone steps in, followed by three others and the door is closed again. It seems that they had just caught more people. Gloria sighs and leans on the wall again while Glenn gets up and walks towards the new people.

“Rick?” he calls, making Gloria look in the direction of the new people. 

It takes a few seconds for Gloria’s eyes to adjust to the darkness again and relief floods through her when she sees Rick and Carl, they were alive. She recognizes the woman behind Carl as well, Michonne. Gloria lets out a breath when she sees the figure behind Rick, tears well up in her eyes.

“Daryl...” she whispers quietly, as if she was scared that if she said it any louder he would disappear. 

Daryl’s eyes land on her and within a second Gloria dashes towards him, tackling him in a tight hug. His arms wrap around her body in an instant, his hand cradling her head as he presses a kiss to her forehead. She pulls away from him reluctantly and turns to look at Rick who smiles at her. 

“You’re here,” he says with a nod, then looks at the others in the train car, seemingly looking at the people he didn’t recognize.

“They’re our friends.” Maggie tells him.

“They helped save us.” Gloria adds. 

“Yeah,” Daryl says, taking Gloria’s hand in his, “and now they’re friends o’ ours.”

“For however long that’ll be,” Abraham remarks. 

“No...” Rick says, he then steps towards the door he came through, seemingly checking for any cracks or ways out, “they’re gonna feel pretty stupid when they find out.”

“Find out what?” Abraham asks, stepping towards the man.

Rick looks at Abraham, then at everyone else in the train car, “they’re fucking with the wrong people.” 

---

Next Chapter

I really hate to leave it here but as you all know, this is literally how they ended Season 4 and they jump straight into it for Season 5, so please forgive me!! At least Gloria and Daryl are reunited~~ I gotta be honest, I wasn’t sure how I wanted them to reunite at first haha I was thinking that maybe Gloria would sneak away from Glenn and the others but Glenn would just freak out trying to find her haha and then I realized I don’t think I’ve ever read any other fics with then reuniting in the actual train car, so I went with it (if there is a scene like that in another fic, please link me, I’d love to read it!)

Please let me know what you thought of this chapter and ending to Season 4! As I mentioned earlier, Season 5 will begin NEXT MONDAY!!!  ^^ 

And as always, I would really appreciate any comments left for me! I’ll be replying to any comments in a new post because this is a sideblog!

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