#and i find myself sad for tfp starscream but it's like you take your wins

[cosmics-beings]

EarthSpark Starscream as an 'apology' to TFP Starscream thoughts.

And maybe, grieving TFP Starscream as well for the pain he went through.

Last thing I'm going to say about episode 21 starscream (save for reblogging people's points) because I legitimately wanted to take a break and write/draw, is that I wonder if the ES crew was looking specifically at how TFP starscream was treated and saying 'we don't wanna do that again'. because not only was tfp star's abuse laughed at but it was justified, not just by the writing but the fans. even though, at least I, could see that starscream didn't deserve half of the shit he got in tfp. But he was always intentionally made to be a joke or comic relief, and it was really upsetting when trying to discuss that, having people dissuade points or saying he deserved his abuse because he 'betrayed megatron'. when canonically in TFP, Starscream didn't betray megatron until megatrons started physically mistreating him.

GOING back to ES. I just think that ES Starscream is supposed to be like an apology, or even a love-letter to TFP Starscream. Because TFP Starscream and by extension RID Starscream never got to find happiness, he never got to get that redemption or that support system. he was always seen as inexplicitly evil, EVEN when he tried to help the autobots, even when he tried to do good. I will never forgive tfp for making Starscream the only decepticon who didn't get redemption when he did more than all of them to help the autobots. Like he tried so hard at moment and was essentially treated worse than garbage by the writing.

More of what im trying to say is that it's extremely fitting but also refreshing to hear Blum's starscream, who we previously just knew from TFP who was a clear victim of trauma, treated like shit, finally getting the happiess and the nuance he deserves. It is so nice to not see the pain he goes through being justified or made a joke. Because if someone told tfp starscream what hashtag told ES Starscream, then there would've been an actual change. But no one did, not even the autobots. Most people ridiculed him. But can you imagine if someone protected tfp star, how he'd react? how he'd change?

SO ES starscream is just, to me at least an 'i'm sorry you were treated this way, it was never funny' to TFP starscream because even if tfp is done and over, you can't help but feel TFP Starscream is getting justice as well. And of course this isn't to take away from the victory that ES Starscream has, and it's not taking away from his narrative nor decentering him. Seeing him not be just a victim but a survivor of abuse and smiling at the end, and being happy and living on his own terms is nice for once. And even tho we'll never get that with TFP Starscream, i can't help but feel he can finally rest easy.

I can't help but grieve Prime Starscream, because he never got this, and his story ended with him being inexplicitly seen as evil and deserving of his abuse. But this is a step in the right direction.

[soundcrazy]

Old love

Here’s another story from my Wattpad! I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: None

Word count: 1,563

TFP Knockout x Cybertronian! Reader

          It's been about two weeks since I arrived and may I say the earth is so beautiful. I normally lay in fields or walk around in a forest, but today was different I became low on Energon.

          I look to the meter to show how much Energon is left in my ship’s contaminants. The bar is all the way down to about two days worth of Energon.

          "Great," I curse to myself as I get my Energon for the day and head outside. The weather outside isn't helping my sad state, it only made it worse. It causes me to only hear the rain hitting my helm and armor.

I sit in my normal place at a cliff and wait for the rain to pass. Which it does after a while but it was worth the wait. The cliff looks over a small town with an ocean view. A smile comes to lips as I stare every day but it seems like every day the view gets better and better.

          I jump back into reality when I hear a blaster go off. I stand to my full height and pause for a moment to give the view one last glance before I leave. I always act like I'll never see it again due to the Autobots and Decepticons being on earth. I know one day I’ll be caught and I know that luck is running out.

          The worse part is as I got closer to the blasters I noticed that there fight is right where my ship is sitting.

          "Scrap," I get both sides in my view and see that the Decepticons are winning.

          "Fall back!" I could hear the Autobot leader yell out and take off to a ground bridge with his team not far behind.

          "Finally, they're gone," I look back to the Decepticons and see a sliver seeker speak up.

          "Starscream, you did nothing," the booming steps of a blue mech is all I can hear as both of them walk to my ship. I, of course, follow them try not to get caught in the process.

          "Who would live on this piece of scrap?" The mech I learned his name to be Starscream looks around and tosses things over his shoulder.

          "We should just go back it seems that who even was here left," the bulky blue mech turns around and begins to walk straight to my hiding spot with Starscream behind him.

          I began to back up and the trip over a pipe and I fall back against a wall. I look down and back up and hope to not see the two mechs but my hopes where crushed fast.

          "Hi." I give them a nervous smile and wait for one of them to respond to me.

          "Are you an Autobot?" Starscream gives me a glare with his ruby-red optics. I can tell he is very displeased to see me.

          "Give them a break, Starscream. It’s obvious they aren’t, they don’t even have the Autobot logo." The blue mech looks to Starscream then back to me, he reaches out for me and gives me a small smile. I take his big servo and he pulls me up as if I was nothing to him.

          Starscream huffs and walks off the ship and I can hear him calling for a ground bridge in the distant.

          "I'm Breakdown and that was Starscream. He can be a pain." I look at him and smile.

          "Nice to met you, Breakdown, I'm Y/N." He looks at me for a moment before breaking into another huge smile.

          "You’re Knockout’s old friend!" I pick up on the name of my old best friend a cherry red mech that is so self-centered he doesn't know when to stop talking about his paint job.

          "Yes that's me," I nod my helm and look to where the green, yellow, portal appears.

          "Come on, Knockout is going to be happy to see you!" his voice picks up a bit in excitement as I follow him out of my ship and into the portal.

           A deep, rough voice greets me as I walk through the ground bridge. “Welcome.” Once the person comes into view I see it's Megatron.

          "I guess I am joining the Decepticons," I look to Megatron and he smirks in pleasure from my answer.

          "Of course you are," this time Breakdown speaks up. I look to him and all I could see is a glimmer of joy in his optics and a smile on his lips.

          "Well, Breakdown will you take them to get here insignia done and show them to their berthroom," Breakdown nods and pulls my small frame out of the room and to the med bay.

          "Here we are, med bay," Breakdown pulls me inside fast and lets me go. "Wait here," he takes off to a room connected to med bay which I guess is where the doctor is at.

          "What!" I hear a screech from the other room. I move over to the door and peek in and inside I see Knockout and Breakdown talking.

          "I am not joking they are here!" Breakdown seems to jump and down with joy and Knockout doesn't seem to care at all.

          "Can I just say something?" I pop into the conversation and hope that they don't yell at me.

          "What do you want, Y/N?" Knockouts voice comes off annoyed and disgusted.

          "I wanted to say that I am happy to see you, that's all," I begin to shrink back into the other room out of fear and guilt for speaking up.

          "Y/N, wait," Knockouts voice travels as he steps closer to me. He reaches out and grips my wrist.

          "I'll leave you too," Breakdown winks at us and walks out the door into the hallway.

          "I am so sorry for leaving," Knockouts voice breaks, “I’m stupid for leaving you back then. It was a dumb idea. I’m so sorry.” 

          "Knockout I can't forgive you for something that big," his grip on my wrist gets stronger with every word.

          "Please forgive me," he looks at me with pitiful optics, but I don't break.

          "No, you just went off to join a side and you abandoned me!" I bark out my words and jerk my wrist from him but his servos stays wrap around my wrist.

          "Please," he looks at me and I stare back at him with not emotion. I know he is hoping I'll forgive him but I have no interest in forgiving him. "Just think back to when we were on Cybertron, we said we would become mates and we would have sparklings, we would be happy," his tone slowly became more depressing to listen to.

          "We did talk about that, but that was before all of this," I point out the facts and try to rip his servo off my wrist all at the same time. I give up and stop when I know he isn't going to stop holding my wrist.

          "Fine," he drops my wrist and walks out of the room and into the med bay. "You can get your insignia done now, If you want," I think for a moment and agree with him.

          "Will it hurt?" Knockouts back is to me but I know he was thinking about the question for a moment.

          "Maybe," he shrugged his shoulders as he turns to me and helps me up on the table.

          "Just maybe?" I begin to worry about if it's going to hurt, I was never a fan of pain so when it comes down to this, fear is rising in me.

          "You'll be fine," Knockout uses his silky voice to calm my nerves for the moment. "Just shut your optics," I trust him and shut my optics.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

          "You lied to me! It hurt terribly!" I raise my voice from him lying to me.

          "I said maybe," he looks at me as I sit right up on the table.

          I glare daggers at him and wait for him to help me down.

          "You think that I'll help you, you yelled at me earlier," he moves back from me.

          "Fine if you are going to act that way then I'll get down from here by myself," I let my pedes touch the ground and I push off the table. "There I did it all by myself," I stand full of pride and I start to walk past Knockout but his arm goes out and wraps his arm around my waist.

          "Where are you going, newbie," I look to him and give me a glare. "The doctor hasn't said your excused," he gives me his flirty smirk and shoves me against the table.

          "Knockout?" My voice is a low whisper as I see his face coming closer to mine. His optics lock with mine as he gets close, lucky he doesn't kiss me he just lays his forehelm on mine.

          "Please, forgive me," he changes the subject and gives me puppy eyes. "I want those dreams to come true my, dear Y/N," this time he looks so broken and pitiful.

          "Ugh, you kill me," I couldn't hold myself back anymore, I put my servos on the sides of his face and pull his mouth to mine. His servos find their ways around my waist, when we break apart we smile at each other. "I love you."

          "I love you too, Y/N.” 

[tyrantofthefirmament]

ooc, please. why do you continue to bring up Cliffjumper if you know it hurts people. i understand Starscream doesn't care. i'd wanted to *make* him care, at least a little bit, or make him understand why it shouldn't be something to brag about, but i failed, even though i've seen other anons get him upset about things using the same tactics. i'm upset and i guess i want/ed him to be too. but i can't help but feel like you don't particularly care either...

I bring up Cliffjumper because it is in character to do so, and frankly, because it’s funny. I’m assuming you’re referring to the post with the glowing blue nails and my little addition? I’m not sorry.

Let’s address your points one by one. No one will ever make Starscream care about what he did to Cliffjumper. One day he’ll probably grow bored of bragging about it, and more importantly, he’ll have other accomplishments that he’ll gain more satisfaction from, and that others will validate. But for the time being, yes, he does find it worth bragging about, because it was the last thing he did while he still had some measure of control in his life, when he led the Decepticons right before Megatron returned and undermined him as both a leader and a person once more. Is that healthy? Nnnnnnope! It’s a maladaptive coping mechanism, such as when people become compulsive hoarders after a severe loss. It’s grasping to hold onto a feeling of power or control. Yes it’s messed up. Don’t know if you noticed, but Starscream is pretty darn messed up. He does a lot of bad things and feels no remorse. He can justify nearly anything to himself, and firmly believes the ends justify whatever underhanded means he feels he must resort to.

The other anons who have upset him have brought up things he is already upset over but usually pushes deep down and doesn’t think about, like the loss of his Trine and Vos, or his broken friendship with Jetfire. Trying to get him to feel bad over something he is ok with, and especially something he’s proud of, won’t work. Getting him to sympathize with another person’s loss by comparing it to his own is a total dead end. First, he does understand how Arcee feels and thinks she’s ridiculous to be so open about it. In his world, that’s asking for people to hurt you worse. He never once spoke of any his unfathomable losses the entire time he was in the Decepticons, because he’d be eaten alive. Does he care how she feels? No, he doesn’t. People hurt each other. Enemies have no reason not to. That’s war. That’s how you win and survive. Second, as he explained when you brought up his Trine, he knows other people find the deaths of their enemies - his friends - quite satisfying, and all that does is hand him the moral high ground about Autobot hypocrisy. He’s slippery and manipulative, and will absolutely use that to deflect criticism from his own lack of remorse. Third, he’s extremely self centered and likes to wallow in self pity, and firmly (and frankly, rightly) believes other people’s losses are nothing compared to what he’s suffered. Does that mean he has the right to be an asshole about it? Of course not. He should at least find some speck of compassion even if the scale of the loss is different, but he’s not going to, because he’s a self centered asshole. 

And as for me? No, I don’t particularly care about Cliffjumper or what happened to him. Sorry, I just don’t. The writers never gave me a reason to, besides telling me how I was supposed to feel. He was literally a red shirt who died to show how serious the bad guys were. I was much more excited to see a villain who didn’t waste time arguing or holding a prisoner who would be rescued, but instead took him out and moved on with his business than I was sad over some random character who I found cocky and annoying the whole five minutes he was in the show. I did feel bad for Arcee, at first, before she kept going on and on and on and on about him just as annoyingly as Starscream, but I didn’t feel bad for Cliffjumper himself. I didn’t come to care about him as a character or want to see more from him. Later, when I played Fall of Cybertron, and actually got to know CJ, I did feel kind of sad that he was killed, but not nearly as sad as I was over Breakdown, or even Dreadwing. I was slightly more sad about Cliffjumper than I was about Skyquake, which is not much. At all. Because neither of those characters was developed enough for me to see them as more than the plot devices they were. If writers tell me how to feel but don’t take the time to really sell it by showing me something about the character, I’m pretty much gonna do the opposite of what they tell me.

I do know CJ’s death hurts people, I know Starscream bragging about it hurts people, and I do care about that because I care about people. But if you follow a TFP Starscream blog that’s what you’re gonna get. No one’s forcing you or anyone else to follow me. You think I don’t know the bad treatment of a character hurts people? I love Starscream, so don’t talk to me about hurting. I’ve cried over him and lost sleep over him, and sat side by side with people who were laughing at the scenes with him that broke my heart because he was so scared and helpless and humiliated, all for laughs. I’ve had nightmares about him after I saw Predacons Rising and woken up crying. I’ve blocked more posts and blacklisted more tags than I care to count. I have unfollowed 2 blogs - one Shockwave and one Predaking - because of how casually and graphically their characters discussed murdering Starscream and I couldn’t handle it. Key word - I couldn’t handle it. So I unfollowed in order to keep myself comfortable. Did I expect them to change how they played their characters? No. It’s their blogs and they were just acting in character. It was damn good writing, as is mine. 

I’m considerate of Cliffjumper fans, and I never put his name in the tags on my posts in the first 5 tags, so Starscream’s obnoxious bragging won’t show up in the Cliffjumper tag. I tag my CJ related posts “we all know what happens to redshirts”. If that’s too long or too flippant, I can add a tag for you that you can block. If what I was writing in character upset you, you could have mentioned it to me out of character and asked me to tag it. But you sent in character asks and I responded in character. You weren’t able to manipulate Starscream into feeling a certain way in order to give you some comfort, because it’s not his job to comfort you, and frankly I had no way of knowing you were actually bothered. I will always tag things when asked over IM or even an anon ask. Beyond that, I’m not changing how I run things and I make no apologies, for me or my asshole birb.