#and i feel like they never do the coaches families right? the wives always leave a dry taste in my mouth like. no one is like that

[arcmonkeys]

hey guys did u know if u catch a movie at the cinema 17.30 u can watch another one after at home? just found out

[female-buckets]

The WNBA was "family-friendly" by republican standards for 15 years. Which means they hid everything gay and amplified everything straight. It was homophobic. It was a promotional strategy based on values.

And now, they're promoting the WNBA under a new set of values. Every play with Vandersloot and Quigley, the announcers refer to them as wives. Literally every single play. It's like once every 5 minutes over a 1.5 hr broadcast. Vandersloot and Quigley are professionals. In games, they're not thinking "there's my three teammates and there's my wife." They don't prioritize their relationship over the team. But despite that professionalism, Chicago is devaluing them because they don't feel like paying so much money to one household.

But never mind that. Announcers call them wives! Look how progressive the WNBA is! Never mind the fact that the WNBPA doesn't address the unique challenges gay couples face in the league. They push all their negotiating power into maternity leave and get lauded as a pro-woman organization. But they don't address the ways teams can use teammates' relationships against them.

Since the Brian Agler lawsuit, the league has had a zero tolerance policy around player-coach relationships. But the most common post-retirement career path is to join your teams' coaching staff. This is a career move available to every player except for players with a romantic partner on the team. In the eyes of the league, there's no difference between the Brian Agler situation and the Taurasi-Taylor situation. The first is a male head coach sleeping with a female player 25 years younger than him. The second is one member of a veteran franchise couple going from the players' bench to the coaches' bench. Somehow, both situations are equally unethical in the WNBA. I don't know if Penny Taylor was interested in a long coaching career. But I doubt she was ready for it to end so soon.

When Allie Quigley retires, what will her career options be? The Thomas-Hiedemans talk about how important it is for them to play on the same team. But they have a bit of an age gap. Jasmine Thomas will retire years before Natisha Hiedeman. If she wants to coach, will she have to coach a different team?

Long-term teammate couples aren't so rare in this league. I just named three. Teams get to use gay couples' "package deal" against them by lowering their player value and limiting their career opportunities. These challenges make other gay players reluctant to develop serious relationships with teammates. There's no policy that says "don't date your teammate." But the systemic disadvantages teammate couples face in the league can overpower the advantages of a shared schedule.

The thing is, the WNBA isn't actually progressive. They're just doing a new promotional strategy based on progressive values. But that promotional strategy is as shallow as the old one. Whether the soundbites have been conservative or liberal, gay relationships have been tolerated but not accommodated in the WNBA. The only thing that's really changed for gay players is interview questions. The rest is the same as it's always been.

But do the shallow progressive promotional messages at least kind of sort of help in an abstract way? It's possible. Maybe they can reach young viewers and say "look! Here's your hero! She's gay and successful!"

But does the WNBA ever say the word "gay?" Not really. The best they can give us is the letter "G." It's a nice little euphemism. When straight people hear the letter "G," they don't need to think about what it stands for. It doesn't have to mean "gay." Maybe they're just "good friends," right?

What about other words? Lesbian, bisexual, homosexual, same-sex couple. Has the WNBA as an organization ever managed to say any of these words? No. WNBA promotions will say "LGBT" and "pride." And they'll say "transgender" and "protect trans youth."

There is one transgender WNBA player. I'm glad Clarendon gets the privilege of a full word and trans youth get protected. I guess lesbian, gay, and bisexual youth can tough it out. The majority of the WNBA is same-sex attracted women. And that majority will just have to settle for initials.

Because the WNBA is all about LGBT Pride. Liberal. Good friends. Business. Transgender. Pride.

I don't think sexuality should be the selling point of the WNBA. It doesn't belong in promotions at all. It's merely a cultural coincidence that the league is so gay. There's nothing deep or profound about it. If you've got a 15-second spot to leave an impression, you should probably brainstorm something more engaging than sexuality.

But if you use us to promote your league, don't insult us. Referring to us with euphemisms and then reminding us not to expect any protections as a marginalized group? That's not just half-assed promotion. That's insulting.

[n00dl3gal]

Like Old Times (Father-Son Bonding AU)

A direct sequel to the “Expiration Date” fic, which I’ll link in a reblog. I’ve also posted all my fics in this AU to AO3!! Thanks again to @thetriggeredhappy for their help and just generally being a cool dude, and the Scoutsune Discord server for indulging my brainrot

No warnings beyond family schmoop!

Less than an hour after the bread monster incident, the Administrator called for a ceasefire. “Only while your base is repaired,” she said over the TV screen. “BLU is quite disappointed in this negligence- as am I. Regardless, you may use these three days as you see fit. Go home, stay here- whatever you do, no more bread monsters.” The screen turned off with a click. 

Scout exhaled through his nose. He was thankful there was no mention of him or Miss Pauling’s woodchipper. 

Spy decloaked behind him. “Less time than I wanted, but c’est la vie.” Scout looked at him over his shoulder. “I’m meeting with an old contact during our break,” Spy said in Italian. “Would you like to come along? It’ll be like old times.” 

Scout’s brow furrowed, but he nodded. At least this way, he’d get out of helping Engie and Heavy with repairs. And possibly meeting Miss Pauling’s woodchipper. 

“Excellent. Our flight is at 7 AM tomorrow.” 

“We’re flying commercial?” Scout asked, also in (more hesitant) Italian. 

“Our destination is continental. We’ll leave the base by 5:30.” Scout groaned as Spy started to leave. But- wait, he hadn’t- 

“Oi, where are we going, anyway?” he called back in English. 

Spy paused to look at him and smile. “Boston.” 

“Why do we always get the ass-crack-of-dawn flights?” Jeremy asked groggily, reclining his seat.

“They are the ones with first-class seats available,” Raphael replied. He took a sip from his mimosa. 

“Yeah, cuz God forbid you fly coach for once.” Jeremy shifted, trying to get comfortable. “Hey. Have I ever been to Boston before?”

Raphael didn’t answer immediately. His lip sucked in, as if in thought. “Yes. When you were very, very young. You wouldn’t remember.” 

Jeremy nodded. He wanted to ask more, there was something Raphael wasn’t saying but… well, he was never a morning person. He fell asleep before the plane even took off. 

. . .

It was mid-afternoon by the time they landed in Boston. Jeremy was never fond of long flights; having his legs cramped like that for extended periods of time was murder. He was half tempted to take a jog around Logan International. Raphael, on the other hand, was ushering them both to the car rental. “Can’t even get a stretch in, huh?”

“Unfortunately, we are expected by 4, and I would hate to keep my contact waiting,” Raphael explained in French, accepting the keys from the girl at the counter. “She’s not a very patient woman, in some regards.” 

Jeremy huffed but didn’t argue. He just followed his father to the rental, tossing his suitcase in the backseat. “Y’know, the girl at the counter-” 

“We will not have time for you to go out on a date, Jeremy.” 

“No! No, it was- her accent’s kinda like mine, it’s weird,” Jeremy said. Raphael started the car. “Cuz I’ve only been here as a baby, and I got mine from TV and shit. It’s just… really strange, is all.” 

Raphael made a quiet noise of agreement. “Some of the shows you watched as a child were filmed here. It’s not as complex as you think it is.” 

“Yeah, probably not…” 

The pair lapsed into silence as Raphael drove. Storefronts and high rises morphed into houses. It had been a while since they were in a residential area. RED, for understandable reasons, kept away from civilians. 

Raphael took the roads with practiced experience. Sure, it had been implied he knew the area. If he had a contact here- one with a house, presumably- he must’ve spent time here. But this- this was far too familiar. A bit suspicious, actually. 

Eventually, Raphael slowed in front of a more rundown Brownstone. Still quite nice, just needed a little work. It felt… welcoming, in a way Jeremy couldn’t name.

“Lotta cars,” he observed as Raphael parallel parked. “Must be a party going on somewhere.” 

“Hmm, perhaps,” Raphael said, turning the car off. “Would you mind ringing the doorbell for me? I need to grab something from the trunk. Ask for Sara Jane.” 

OK, now Jeremy knew something was up. He was never the one to make the first contact, that was always Dad’s job. Jeremy might be a full-grown adult, but there were some things that didn’t change. This was one of them. 

Still, he nodded. He climbed up the front steps and ringed the doorbell. He heard- multiple voices from inside, predominantly male, but they quickly silenced themselves. A TV, perhaps? They really ought to get that flower box on the second story window fixed- 

The woman who opened the door was a bit shorter than him, though not by much. She was wearing a simple dress, hoop earrings, and flats. Her hair was dark, curved to her chin. But her nose and earlobes felt… achingly familiar. Like Jeremy saw them all the time. 

“Um, hi, I’m looking for Sara Jane? My name’s-” The rest of his speech was knocked out of him as the woman launched herself at him. Jeremy braced for an attack, but quickly realized she was… hugging him. 

She was hugging him, sobbing, and choked out the word “Jeremy.” 

Wait. He knew that voice. He had only heard it a few times in his life, few enough he could count them on one hand, but he knew it. “M-Ma?” he whispered. 

The woman- Sara Jane- Ma looked up at him, still crying. Her hands found his face as she observed him. “Y-yeah, sweetie, it’s me, it’s-it’s your ma,” she said. 

“Ma!” he laughed, tears of his own dancing down his cheeks. He hugged her back, practically lifting her off her feet. “Oh my God, Ma! I-I never thought I’d-” 

“Oh Jeremy, sweetie, look how tall you’ve gotten! Last I saw you, you fit in my arms! My baby, my handsome baby,” she spoke over him. She rubbed circles into his back as they embraced. It felt so, so right. 

Jeremy laughed even harder. “Are you kiddin’? I got it from you, you’re beautiful, Ma!” He stared at her, trying to commit every mole and wrinkle and perfect flaw to memory. “I can’t believe- oh my God, I’m actually meeting you!” 

“It was long overdue,” another voice said, as Raphael joined them on the front stoop. “I had put it off for safety reasons, but considering our current, ah, situation… I felt it was worth the risk.” 

Sara Jane squealed, pulling Raphael into the hug as well. “You’ve been taking good care of my boy, you promise me, Raphael?” 

“Don’t worry Ma, he’s the best dad I could ask for, considering,” Jeremy teased. 

“Oh, don’t I know it. Called me up last night and told me to get the whole motley crew together. Even managed to get Melvin to bring his twin daughters, bless his wife’s heart,” she explained. 

Jeremy blinked. “Uh- Melvin? Daughters?”

Sara Jane laughed. It sounded so much like Jeremy’s it practically hurt. This was his mother. Lord, he’s finally seeing her. “Melvin’s your older brother, sweetie. Eh, sixth oldest. Bobby’s the oldest.” 

“I have a brother?”

“Oh honey, you’re the youngest of eight,” Sara Jane said plainly. 

“...fuck,” Jeremy whispered. 

. . .

He didn’t just have seven brothers. He had seven brothers, four of which brought their wives, one who brought his boyfriend, and three who brought their kids. And the kids totaled to an additional six, counting the babies. 

It was… an admittedly tight squeeze in the living room. 

Sara Jane introduced Jeremy. Jeremy had been expecting to be treated like a stranger. He had vanished when he was a baby, after all, and his younger-older brothers probably wouldn’t remember him at all. 

And yet, it was like he knew them all his life. 

They teased him and punched him playfully and acted so friendly, so familial it nearly made Jeremy break down. He was still crying from meeting Ma, but being dogpiled with so much affection was suffocating. In a good way. He had seen on sitcoms the intrinsic bond between family, and while he felt it with Dad, they also risked their lives nearly daily. But it was real, it was here, and it was wrapping him in a warm blanket. 

Despite the chaos and the sheer number of people, Jeremy didn’t feel overwhelmed. He laughed and played along with their jokes, cracking some back when he could get a word in. Scott ragged on his dog tags, he countered by pointing out the hole in his pants. Michael told him he was still a shortass, he replied with “it takes one to know one.” Elliot and Ricky were the closest to actually getting hurt, and that was only because Jeremy elbowed them both so hard they nearly fell over. 

For the first time in 25 years, Jeremy understood what “home” meant. 

The kids were especially curious, eager to meet their uncle and step-grandfather. Within seconds, young Rebecca- only four years old- was challenging Jeremy to a race around the house. “I’m the fastest kid in the world,” she bragged, puffing out her chest. 

“Oh yeah?” Jeremy asked. “That a fact?”

“You wanna test me? I beat Johnny Three-Legs at running, and he’s got three legs!” Jeremy laughed and stood from the couch, letting her lead him outside. “On the count of three, OK?”

“You’re on, pipsqueak,” Jeremy teased.

“Onetwothree GO!” Rebecca yelled, taking off in a sprint. Jeremy knew that, by all accounts, he should beat her. His legs were longer, she didn’t have the proper running stance, and it was his job to be fast. That’s what he got paid to do. But some small voice was telling him to let her win, so he did. “Ha! I told ya!” 

“Ya sure did,” he replied, mock panting. “Look at you, a freaking blur on the green. You’re goin’ to the Olympics, kid.” 

Rebecca beamed and hugged his leg. “Promise, Uncle Jeremy?” He nodded because, after that display, there was no way he could speak without squeaking like a chew toy. 

Rebecca skipped back inside, past Raphael, who was watching on the stoop. “You’re a natural with children,” he observed. “I used to do the same thing when you were that age.” 

“Wait- wait, really? You sure fooled me,” Jeremy said. 

Raphael rolled his eyes. “What’s my job again, mon lapin?”

“Yeah, yeah…” Jeremy leaned against the railing, watching Raphael’s cigarette smoke in the wind. “Hey. Uh… thanks for arranging all of this. You really didn’t need to.”

“But I did. I meant it when I said this was overdue. I’ve been wanting to introduce you to the rest of the family for a while, but have been unable. Then that whole ordeal with the supposed tumors, and-” Raphael exhaled slowly. “It wouldn’t have been fair to you if you died without knowing them. I would’ve never forgiven myself.” 

Jeremy punched his shoulder lightly. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, pops. It all worked out, we’re still kicking, and that roast chicken Ma’s making smells incredible. Everything’s perfect.” 

Raphael finished his cigarette and smiled. “Oui. It is.” 

. . .

While Sara Jane had been able to get the rest of the family here, it was a school night. Kids needed to be tucked in by 9:30, so most of Jeremy’s brothers were gone by 8. Elliot was staying overnight, as was his boyfriend. Otherwise, the house quickly went from bustling to barren. 

It gave Jeremy a chance to explore his would-be childhood home.

He made his way upstairs, pushing open one of the doors. It led- to little surprise- to a bedroom. It was set up like a nursery, with a crib in one corner and a toddler bed in the other. Toys were scattered about across the floor. 

He heard Sara Jane sigh behind him. “This was your room, you know.” Jeremy turned to look at her as she flipped the light switch. “That crib… I had put you to bed the night your father planned to fake his death. I was in on the whole plan, naturally. He wanted to hold you one last time, so I said OK. When I woke up the next morning… you were both gone.” She exhaled slowly, grabbing onto his shoulder. “I wrote both of you off as dead, but I knew what had happened. Honestly, should’ve figured it out before then. You hadn’t woken me up crying,” she joked. Her eyes were watering. 

Jeremy hugged her, pulling her close. “You never took the crib down?” 

“By the time I was ready, Bobby’s wife was pregnant, so I kept it up for my grandbabies. I knew- I knew you were out there, sweetie. Both of you.” She kissed his cheek, squeezing him.

“I-I never got to be a normal kid, really,” he confessed. “I mean, Dad did his best, gave me comic books and board games and stuff, but-but I never went to school or made friends or anything like that. I-I didn’t even know I had a family. It took me forever to even realize I had a Ma. An-and everything I did-” The tears were flowing again, more freely than earlier. “Ya missed me losing my first tooth, and potty trainin’, and all that stuff parents should know about. I-I’m sorry,” he whispered. 

Sara Jane wiped his cheek dry. “Don’t apologize for what your father did, Jeremy. And definitely don’t apologize for me not potty training another kid. Besides… hold on, I’ll be right back.” She made her way down the hallway. Jeremy didn’t follow, instead deciding to examine the crib. This was where he grew up. It was a simple crib, obviously well-used. Not worn-down, mind, just… used. It had a history. A history that Jeremy wanted to decode, but unlike his dad’s ciphers, he didn’t have the key. 

“Took me a second to find it,” Sara Jane said. She handed him what appeared to be a scrapbook. “Raphael- he wrote when he can. Taught me some basic codes, would send out letters whenever you’d leave a town. Never left a return address, but…” Jeremy flipped through the pages, moving to sit on the small bed. The letters were all coded but appeared to be about how much Raphael missed Sara Jane. Updates on Jeremy’s growth. Letters from a father to his lover and son’s mother. 

One page jumped out to him, though. “I remember this,” he said, running his fingers against the paper. It was a simple drawing of a young boy, holding a catcher’s mitt, and a taller man next to him. “I drew this after Dad took me to my first baseball game, for my eighth birthday. I thought I lost the drawing after we skipped town, but- he sent them to you?”

Sara Jane nodded. “And I kept them all. Oh, honey, the day I first heard your voice on the phone- Mikey can tell you, I damn near fell over. You sounded so happy, and even if I couldn’t see you, that’s all a mother wants.” Jeremy leaned against her and she shut the book. “That’s all a mother wants, sweetie. To see her kids be safe and happy.” 

“I am, Ma,” he assured her. “I promise.” 

They sat like that for a while, with Sara Jane commenting on various letters and drawings in the scrapbook. Apparently, Raphael sent her money when he could- more frequently now that Mann Co. paid so well. She also had a rough idea of their current occupations. “I figure, if you and your father are working for the same company- with his skills, there’s gotta be a whole lot of nonsense going on out in that desert.” Jeremy laughed at that because she wasn’t wrong. “But I also figure since he raised you right, he’ll keep the both of you safe.” 

“I keep him safe too, don’t worry,” Jeremy added. “Uh- listen, it’s touching and all you kept the crib, but I don’t have to sleep in it, right?” 

They both had a good chuckle over that. Their laughs were in perfect harmony. 

. . .

The next two days were a mix of learning the family history and exploring Boston. It was the offseason, so there weren’t any games going on at Fenway, but Jeremy still got a picture in front of the park. Sara Jane took the pair to a restaurant that served “the best damn clam chowder in the contiguous United States.” Which, incidentally, led them to discover Jeremy was allergic to clams. Thankfully they didn’t have to go to the hospital- he just sort of immediately got sick before it passed- but it did suck.

It was damn good chowder, though. 

They went down to the harbor where the Boston Tea Party happened. It was crowded with people, resulting in them not staying long. Jeremy was a bit better with crowds than Raphael, but neither was great with them. Came with the job. Getting overpriced memorabilia from a nearby gift shop, though, went over much more smoothly. 

When not out on the town, Sara Jane dug out more scrapbooks and photo albums, catching Raphael up on what his stepsons had been up to. She showed Jeremy pictures from Ricky’s first school play to Scott opening up his butcher shop. Graduation pictures, wedding pictures, baby pictures- it was all there, and Jeremy devoured it. He wanted to know these people. He wanted to know his family. And he did. He learned about Michael’s stint in the Navy, Melvin meeting his wife, how Bobby’s son could dribble a basketball for twenty minutes straight. He learned about how his parents met. How Raphael loved each of Sara Jane’s children, even if they weren’t biologically his. How Jeremy wasn’t planned- few of the kids were - but they were both so, so happy to realize he was coming. 

He also learned that, while diner food would remain the undisputed king, homemade meatloaf came pretty close. 

. . .

The only problem came when it was time to leave. It wasn’t that Jeremy didn’t want to return to work, or leave his Ma behind. Sara Jane wasn’t even torn up over losing her son and lover again. It just felt like there was so much left to say, to do. There was uncertainty as to when they’d be able to return. “We get time off for Smissmas, I know that’s months away but I’ll be here, I promise,” Jeremy swore, hugging Sara Jane for the eighth time. 

“You better,” she said, squeezing him tightly. “You have 25 years worth of gifts to catch up on, not to mention birthday gifts-”

“Ma, you don’t have to go that far,” he whined. He was touched, sure, but the thought of that much luggage was truly frightening. Oh God, he was going to have to get gifts for everybody, wasn’t he? What do kids even want for Smissmas? 

“Hush, let me spoil my baby,” Sara Jane told him, kissing his cheek. “Oh, Jeremy…” 

Jeremy nodded. “I know, but I’ll call. I’ll write, too. Send pictures if I can.” 

“I’ll make sure he does,” Raphael assured her. Sara Jane stood to kiss his lips, with Jeremy looking away pointedly. “You have my word, ma petite chou-fleur.” 

“Alright, alright- now get going, I don’t want you two missing your flight. That boss of yours sounds like she’ll tear you both a new one if you’re late,” Sara Jane said, shooing them away. “Love you boys!” 

“I love you too, Ma!” Jeremy shouted back, for the very first time. 

The drive back to the airport was quiet. Jeremy stared out the window, watching his hometown- he had a hometown- pass by. “Hey, dad?” he asked, still looking outside. Raphael grunted to acknowledge he was listening. “One of these days, our contracts with Mann Co. are gonna expire. We’re gonna have to find new jobs.” 

“Yes, that’s correct,” Raphael said. He tapped a rhythm against the steering wheel. 

“And-and I was thinking when that time comes… maybe we could come back to Boston. Find some gigs out here,” Jeremy suggested. 

Raphael sighed. “Unfortunately, being a spy means that you don’t have the option of retiring, Jeremy. Not until you’re unable to complete your job. At that point, though, you’ve probably died a dozen times over,” he explained. “Even if I could retire, settling down somewhere so close to people I care about- I would still have enemies.” 

“Right. ‘Course,” Jeremy said. “It’s OK.” 

“That being said,” Raphael continued, “you have the luxury of youth and not being tied down to such a career. If you want to find a job in Boston after we finish with RED, there’s nothing stopping you.” 

“But people will still be after me, since I’m your son. And you wouldn’t be around.”

“Every child leaves their parents someday. And you’re strong, Jeremy. You can protect yourself and your family.” Raphael smiled. “I don’t believe Sara Jane needs much protecting, but I do worry.” 

Jeremy laughed. “I mean, did ya see the muscles on Scott and Michael? Guys can probably bench press a tractor!” 

They both chuckled before settling into quietude. Eventually, though, Jeremy had to break the silence. His voice was barely above a whisper. “I love you.” 

“I love you too, mon lapin.”

“...so your nickname for Ma is fucking ‘little cauliflower?’ What the hell, Dad?” 

[ilyasorokinn]

PLS IM REQUESTING #3 & MATTY TKACHUK WITH MY WHOLE HEART 😩💙

PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME

tw: drug and alcohol abuse/addiction

3. “let me take your hand, i'll make it right / i swear to love you all my life” (from this prompt list)

from a young age, you were surrounded by drugs and alcohol. your parents were both addicted. so, you were basically screwed from the moment you were born. 

you were 22 now, and you had been addicted on and off all your life. you had meet matthew when you moved to try and get a new start. he saw you for more than your addiction. he loved you. 

no matter what, he never judged you. whenever you fell off the wagon, he was there to help you back up. he was always there to catch you. 

everyone on the team, their wives and girlfriends, coaches, staff, they all knew about your addiction, and you were sure they all talked about it. but you couldn’t care less. you weren’t exactly close with any of the wags or players. 

the call had come in around 8:30. the staff had rushed to the ice to try and get matthew, “we need matthew.” a staff member spoke quietly.

“what for?” 

“it’s his girlfriend. she’s in the hospital.” the man tried to explain things as vague as possible to give you at least some decency.

“okay, let’s get matt off the ice.” the coach called matthew off the ice, much to the surprise and shock of, not only matthew, but the fans and other players. 

“what the hell?” matthew cursed.

“it’s your girlfriend.” that caught his attention, and he froze.

“what about her?” matthew asked, taking off his helmet.

“the hospital called.” the staff member leaned in closer, “her friend called an ambulance when she found her unconscious in the living room. she overdosed.” 

matthew felt his heart stop, and his face pale. he immediately rushed down the tunnel. he changed in the quickest amount of time possible, before hopping into a car. once in the car, his leg wouldn’t stop bouncing. a million different scenarios ran through his head.

the car parked outside of the hospital, and before the driver even put the car in park, matthew was rushing out of the car, “i'm looking for my girlfriend.” matthew rushed over to the nurse’s station, “her name is y/n y/l/n.” he rushed out.

“of course.” the nurse nodded, typing into her computer, “she’s in room 405. that way.” the nurse pointed.

“thank you.” matthew ran down the hallway. he knew he probably looked gross and smelled even worse, but in that moment, all he cared about was you. 

all that was on his mind was you.

he slowed down as he got to the 400s range of room numbers. he found your room and hesitated for a moment. he took a deep breath and walked inside. his heart sank all the way to his stomach when he saw you. laying in the bed. pail, and hooked up to all the different machines.

the only noise heard in the room was the sound of the heart monitor that beeped. it felt like an out-of-body experience. he pulled up a chair and sat down next to you. 

he just looked at you. not doing anything. he saw your chest rise and fall, which made him feel a bit better. he slowly reached out for your hand, and almost passed out when he saw it went limp.

he squeezed your hand, giving it a kiss, “i don’t know if you can hear me,” he felt tears forming in the corners of his eyes, “but please don’t. please don’t leave.” he begged. he didn’t even know who he was begging to, but he was begging to whoever would listen.

“please don’t.” he was now crying openly, “please don’t leave me. we still have so many things. we have so many things left to do. we were supposed to get married, we were supposed to have kids. i got that house you saw a few months ago and said you liked it. i got it for us. to raise our family.” 

“please don’t.” was all he kept saying. 

in the unconscious-comatose state, you were in, you could still hear him. you heard everything, and you knew you had to fight. fight for yourself. for your friends. 

for matthew. 

so you chose to fight. you weakly opened your eyes, adjusting to the light. you let out a whimper at the bright light. that caught matthew’s attention, and he looked up at you.

“matthew.” you whispered softly.

“hi, baby.” he gave you a teary smile, leaning up and kissing your head. 

[thought-i-to-myself]

Since you're absolutely brilliant, Id love to hear your opinion and break down on the ending bickering scene and the development of Ann "This is my life now, piss off good sir" Walker because what an icon. I can only hope this little cute skirmish brings on many sweet and funny moments between the two. 💞

YES I THINK IT SHALL.  Ann Walker was on fire this episode, except for that moment when it was her drawing of Anne that was actually on fire which was devastatingly tragic.  BUT YES.  We have known all along that Ann had some fight in her so it was absolutely thrilling and inspiring to see her stand up for herself, by herself.  Let’s recap:

In 1 x 02, Anne finds out that some members of Ann’s idiotic tribe are totally taking advantage of the fact that she is $$$ loaded, and she helps her compose a strongly-worded letter as a means of defending her and her cash.  And Coach Anne says that she’d be willing to come back next time and dictate another, but like all great coaches, she hopes instead that Ann will be able to do it herself in the future.  Teach a woman to fish, and all that …

In 1 x 05, we see some sparks of Ann’s fight, particularly when it comes to Ainsworth.  First, Anne again helps her write a letter telling that wretch off (lesbians love writing letters, if you didn’t know) and then Reverend Assworth has the nerve to come right the fuck over anyway.  Ann sticks to her guns and tells James (“Yes, thank you James!”) to send him on his merry way, and to remind him that she JUST SENT HIM A FLIPPING LETTER TELLING HIM TO BACK OFF.  But I think it’s important to note that Anne is in the room here, she’s literally in Ann’s corner so to speak.  [Also is it just me or does anyone else say “Yes, thank you James!” in Ann’s perfect voice every time you see James on screen? Just me? Ok whatevs.]  Secondly, there’s a part later in this episode where Ann has sent word that she’s not feeling well and instructed everyone to leave her alone, and ELIZA this time comes right the fuck over anyway.  What is it with these people?  And Ann has a great little scene (that I know I still need to gif for @nikkupsticks, sorry friend) where she says she didn’t hear the doorbell ring and Yes-thank-you-James tells her that Eliza came around back.  Ann groans (the hbo caption actually says “[groans]”) and tells Miss Parkhill snarkily that “she sneaks in,” and that people show up anyway even when you ask them not to.  Then she tells Miss Parkhill that she might head back upstairs, and though this is kind of a throwaway line, to me it’s signaling that Ann does have that fight-or-flight instinct within her somewhere, it’s just buried under layers of civility.  But she’s well on her way to reaching her breaking point.

In 1 x 06, Ann tells Anne that when she’s with her, she feels like she could take on the world and boom, it’s like by saying it outloud like that Ann has totally jinxed herself because OF COURSE now she’s gonna have to learn how to take on the world without Anne first before she gets to be with Anne.  And throughout episodes 5 and 6 we see several moments where Ann is so sure of her feelings for Anne when they’re together in the bedroom or behind closed doors but then 180s in the light of day, faced with her family and the jeering eyes of society.  And the difference in all those instances is Anne: when Ann has Anne as backup, as her coach, her teammate, she is willing and able to fight for what she wants. That is, until Ann - sweet cinnamon roll Ann who has been sort of cast aside and dragged around by her family her whole life - has to go to Scotland to be with big sis and big sis’s disgusting human of a husband because family always knows what’s best (???) and birthing children solves all a person’s problems (???).

UGGHHH that brings me to the heartbreaking scene in 1 x 08 where Ann is so sad and downtrodden - she doesn’t know yet that Anne’s written, that Anne still cares for her -  that she’s basically resigned herself to think maybe she should go be with whatever poor schmuck Capt. Sutherland wants.  I mean this is the product of years of abusive behavior by her family which has led Ann to believe that she’s worthless.  And with no signs of life from Anne, Ann’s spark is all-but-extinguished until big sis ELIZABETH swoops in because big sisters are fucking awesome and girl knows that it’s SISTERS BEFORE MISTERS and CHICKS BEFORE DICKS and that friendships between women are literally the most important thing in the world full stop.  So Ann Walker hears that Anne hasn’t let go yet and the flame is reignited and whatever idea Ann had tried to convince herself of that being with joe schmoe might actually be bearable is struck down by Elizabeth’s lightning rod words that you should do what who makes you happy and if that’s a coal pit-sinking brunette in a greatcoat and a tophat with a killer smile and eyes that make you go weak at the knees then go for it little sis because gal pals like that don’t come along every day!!!  Is that not what she said? Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s what she said.

So you know what comes next, Anon: it’s “I’ll deal with it,” and “bye bitch, thanks for having me, see ya never!” and “everything that has to do with me is my choice.“  And yeah, ok, so she’s got Eliza and Eliza’s hubby there and Elizabeth is secretly on her team too, but she’s standing up for herself because she’s finally reached her breaking point and come to the conclusion that letting other people decide for her is not working, civility be damned.  Remember how joyfully Ann talked about “my sister, Elizabeth!!” in episode 2? Go back and watch it, she says it like that 3 times in the span of 10 minutes.  And now here we are, however many months later it is, and Ann is staring into the face of her older sister Elizabeth who is revealing that she’s actually miserable and intimating that husbands and babies aren’t always all they’re cracked up to be.  So I think that for Ann, she sees in her sister’s eyes what her world will look like if she goes down that path and that fight-or-flight kicks in.  And then there’s Anne.  And there’s that feeling, that deep, indescribable thing in her bones that Ann feels when she’s with Anne. That thing that turns her into Ann “I’d love to paint you” Walker and Ann “I’ve been in love with you since the first time I saw you” Walker and Ann “it’d be like a marriage”/“like a wedding?”/“is it not the same as a proposal?” Walker.  And that thing wins out.  Because that thing is real, and Anne’s real, and because “often a good friendship [with a woman] is better than a marriage [to a man].”  And if a good friendship with a woman is better than a marriage to a man, then what could be better than secretly marrying that good friend who is a woman and living as secret wives gal pals for the rest of your days.  Not a damn thing, that’s what.

The wifely witty bickering at the end of the episode is just icing on the (wedding) cake.  These two have gone through the gauntlet of emotions, both together and apart this season, but this idea that they’d make a lasting commitment to each other and solidify it with some sort of symbolic gesture has been lingering between them for months at this point.  But now there are no more words.  No more yes’s or no’s. No more “I can’t.”  No more “you came so close.” Exchanging rings in the carriage, sealing it with kisses, taking communion together, That Finger Graze, smiling on the way out of the church - all of it was wordless.  They didn’t have to say anything.  They knew how serious it was for each of them. They understood the gravity of it all, the weight of what they were doing, what it meant, and what it cost. And so by the time they got back to the alleyway, they had taken the sacrament together and were wearing rings on their fingers, and there were no more questions about what they were to each other or what they’d be in the future.  It was done.

So the last scene, the playful back and forth - that’s totally what marriage is, isn’t it?  It’s a comfort thing. Anne can joke with Ann about her being morethan a pretty face because she knows she’s not going anywhere.  Ann can stomp all over Anne’s plans, or boss her around (please god yessss) and order her to put away her pocketwatch because she knows Anne won’t leave her. And those all just words anyway, you know?  And now, our Ann(e)s, our beautiful, remarkable, perfect Ann(e)s are married. And that is so much bigger than words.

This show is fucking perfect.  

[islamicrays]

I asked my husband last night to remember to put the couch cushions back on the couch neatly before he went to bed. He has this way of lounging on them that usually leaves them all out of place.

After cleaning up the living room one of my pet peeves is seeing the cushions messed up.

One of those things that, like, every woman understands, right? You know when you want to see things stay neat for more than five minutes? :)

I woke up this morning and sure enough there were the cushions still not fixed.

He forgot.

As I fixed the cushions, smiling to myself, I paused and thought of all the things he doesn't forget that I don't even have to ask for.

Things that make up my life, our marriage, and bring happiness, comfort, or the ability to say "alhamudlilah" on a regular basis.

As a marriage coach I can tell you that things like misplaced cushions cause big arguments in many marriages.

Often times it's women who see the dish left on the table, the socks on the floor, the pile of papers on the nightstand, or the toothpaste oozing out of the tube onto the counter that sets them off.

Women often translate those actions with this following thought:

"If my husband really loved and appreciated me he would remember to do the things that I care about!"

***

Working with clients I am able to help them do the same thing that I did this morning.

We look at their husband from different angles.

We discover he never misses paying the bills.

He picks up groceries or errands without ever complaining.

He is a great father and loving towards the kids.

He is quick to apologize when he gets upset.

He makes sure her car is never without gas.

We learn how he supports her while she does her PhD.

How he tells her she's a great mom or a lovely wife.

He patiently stands around while she shops at the mall.

He holds her when she is crying and stressed.

There was that surprise gift he bought her last year.

While pregnant he bought her all her food cravings on demand.

She goes out with friends without kids regularly.

***

And sometimes we go a little deeper.

We find out that he has a sick father he's worried about.

A new boss at work that puts a lot of pressure on him.

Family back home in dire circumstances.

Depression and anxiety that he's struggling with.

A back problem which causes him a lot of pain.

Migraines which he deals with without complaining.

A new business he is working hard to launch.

***

Your husband is a full human being.

He will forget things. Just like you.

They will be different things but you both will not always meet each other's every need.

But he should be judged not by that which he isn't doing but by that which he IS doing.

All the blessings you don't even pay attention to because you've been able to take them for granted.

Things you have forgotten to thank Allah for that once upon a time you made fervent du'a for.

Don't let your marriage fall apart because you assume every perceived "failure" is a sign he doesn't love or respect you.

Look to all the actions that reflect his love, his care, his responsibility for you and your family.

Then you will see love. Smile.

And let go of the small stuff.

***

Journal Exercise:

#1 Think of examples of things you forgot to do which your husband has asked of you. Could be one time or multiple times. What preferences of his do you not meet? What's the reason?

#2 Write down ten things your husband does for you that you love and appreciate that you never have to ask for. Reflect on what he does on a regular basis compared.

***

Reminder: All Wives of Jannah posts are for women in marriages that are emotionally and physically safe. If you feel in any way that your relationship isn't safe or healthy please reach out for help to a local qualified professional in your area. Toxic or unsafe relationships are not something that Islam allows. Please take care of yourself and find support if you think this applies to you.

Via Wives of Jannah

[writing-realityawayfromreality]

more in love each day

I had this thought while thinking about how cute it would be if a your husband hockey player was so proud of you and your little family he showed you guys off at an event 

You were nervous, more than nervous. There was a big charity dinner that the team had to attend, and of course you would be going since you just so happened to be engaged to none other than Travis Konecny. You typically love these types of things and have been to many of the before but this time it was different. tonight you were about to introduce the world to your baby. 

You actually had a baby sitter who happened to get sick at the last minute thus leading you to have to bring your  month old along to the dinner, you would much rather stay home and have a night in but you already agreed to go and travis was looking forward having all of you guys together. A few of the guys had meet  Jesper but not the whole team. You were worried about what the other people would thing about you and Travis having a baby at such a young age and the fact that you weren’t married and had only been together for 2 years. Travis has tried to assure you that times have changed and that nothing will happen to either one of us tonight, or ever for that matter. 

You had been out a few times with Jesper but never for long periods of time and you could usually have all your attention on your little one. You were running around the apartment like a chicken with your head cut off making sure that you had literally everything that you could think of packed for the night. You were about to sit when you heard Jesper crying in the other room, he must had woken up from his nap. Rushing in you quickly picked up Jesper trying to calm him when Travis walked through the front door. 

“Geez Y/n, you think you have everything you need?” Travis said laughing as he walked into Jesper’s room passing the bags you had packed. “You know we are only going to be a few minutes away from home and only going to be gone 5 hours tops.” Travis said setting his hockey gear down. You just looked at him and as you bounced Jesper up and down. Travis walked over to where you were standing, all your attention was on Jesper, you saw a smile appear one the crying baby, his crying started to stop. You looked over your shoulder to see Travis making faces at your baby. You couldn’t help but smile yourself. You turned to face Travis to which he held his hands out ready for his child. 

“I just want to be prepared Trav, you never know what will happen.” You said sitting in the rocker. “I know babe, and we will be prepared. I’ll go through the stuff with you and get rid of whatever we decide we don’t need and I’ll carry what we do into the event.” Travis said placing a kiss on your head. After what felt like hours (even though it was a few minutes) Jesper finally was asleep again. Travis placed him into the crib and started to go through the bags. You and Travis argued over somethings, he didn’t think that you needed it but you didn’t feel like you could leave home without it. Finally you were down to one bag. There was a few extra things that Travis didn’t think that you guys needed but you refused to leave without them. 

You had a few hours left until it was time to leave and you saw Travis had sat down on the coach turning on the tv he found flipped around channels until he found something the both of you liked. You decided to join him. he was sitting in a position where you could lay your head on his chest and both be comfy. “You know y/n, you’re an amazing mother to our son.” Travis said out of the blue. “thanks Travis, I mean you’re a pretty gosh darn good father to our son as well.” you said laughing. “No really. I know that the position that we are in isn’t ideal, with me being on the road half the time, and us being so young. I just feel like you’re tired and me not being here is harmful to our little family.  I know that we aren’t married yet but boy I can’t wait for the day that i see you walk down that isle and the moment I say I do. I just wish that I could be here all the time to see our son grow...” Travis began. You were tired but you knew that what Travis was saying really weighed on him. “Travis, I love you. No amount of time apart will ever change that, Jesper loves you so much, the moment you walked in today and he saw you he stopped crying. Sure it might be hard right now since Jesper is so young and needs attention all the time, and I might be more tired than I was before but it is all worth it. I love us and I love you.” you said kissing Travis. “And I can’t wait to see you standing at the alter with your tux and our little Jesper next to you, being held by Nolan, or your brother....” you said kissing travis again. You snuggled back into your comfy position focusing back in the tv. “How did I get so lucky?” Travis said wrapping his arms around you. you could feel yourself drifting off. 

You woke up to the sound of your son crying. Rubbing your eyes you started to get up. “I got it babe” Travis said already in Jesper’s room. That was when you noticed that Travis must had gotten up and ready for tonight. He had moved you to where your head was resting on a pillow and covered you with a blanket. you walked into your sons room “I got him, go get ready. We’ll be waiting.” Travis said rocking your son. 

You walked into your bedroom looking at the clock. You still had about two hours to get ready and leave. You hopped into the shower letting the warm water hit your body, you felt every muscle in your body relax. It was nice having Travis home, you didn’t have to worry too much about Jesper since he was with him. You were so last in your thoughts to even hear the door open. “You enjoying yourself babe?” Travis asked causing you to jump. “Travis...” “Nolan showed up, we are all going to ride together, he’s playing with Jesper. Thought I would come to check on you since you were still in the shower.” travis said sitting down on the toilet. “You scared me Trav, don’t do that.” you whined. “Sorry babe.” You turned off the shower and stepped out to be greeted by Travis who was now holding your towel for you. He wrapped you up in the towel, wrapping his arms around you he placed small kisses on your neck. you two really haven’t had time alone since Jesper was born. “Ummmm, I don’t think you two have time for that right now.... also I think that Jesper is hunger but I couldn’t find a bottle...” you turned bright red when you heard Nolans voice coming from the doorway to the bathroom. “geez Nols, a little privacy?” Travis laughed pushing him out the room. You quickly threw on a robe that way you could get the bottle ready for Jesper, it was a good thing that you pumped earlier this morning. You had put the bottles on the bottom shelf so of course no one saw them.

You walked out the the kitchen grabbing a bottle from the fridge and preparing it. “Here, I can take over, finish getting ready.” Travis said grabbing the bottle from you. you disappeared back into your bedroom making sure to shut the door this time so there wasn’t any distractions. You grabbed your best dress out of the closet, many moms struggle with the after baby body but luckily you didn’t that problem but it also helped that you were always running around from place to place making sure your little one was content. You plugged in your curling iron, while you waited for that to heat up you started on your makeup. You didn’t do dark heavy makeup but rather light, just to enhance your face, and to give yourself some color. You finished rather fast leaving you plenty of time to do your hair. Once you were done you made sure to put everything away and plug everything. You opened the door to see all the boys sitting on the sofa watching the tv. “See baby, that’s baby and your uncle Nolan playing hockey. Your uncle Nolan scored the game winning goal, only because I passed him such an amazing pass...” Travis said laughing, you could hear jesper cooing. 

“Damn y/n, look at you.” Nolan said. “Language... but thank you Nol.” “Dang babe, you are going to look the best out of everyone there tonight.” Travis said walking over with Jesper to give you a kiss. “I don’t know, i think this little guy is the best looking one out of all of us.” You said kissing Jespers head. “I think we need to get going.” Nolan said standing up and turning off the tv. “yeah we do.” Travis said grabbing the back off the floor before heading to the kitchen to grab the bag containing food for Jesper. Heading to the car you buckled Jesper’s carrier in to the car while Travis placed the bags in the back. Nolan and Travis sat in the front while you entertained Jesper in the back. It was a short drive to the event. travis got the bags. you unbuckled Jesper carefully, making sure not to move him too much since he was sleeping, Nolan grabbed the carrier out of the car and waited for you to get out before shutting the door. Handing the carrier back to you. You looked at travis before taking a big breath. “Ready?” He asked. “Ready.” you said. 

You walked into the event to be greeted by many of the wives and girlfriends of the guys. The were all surprised at how your body bounced back in a matter of a month and couldn’t wait to hold the little guy. Travis looked at you making sure you were okay before disappearing with Nolan to say hi to the other guys. You made your way to the table which had your names marked as to where to sit. Jesper started to fuss causing you to get him out of the carrier. You felt someone sit next to you. looking over you saw that it was Ryanne. “Hey girl, you look great, and look at Jesper, he looks just like trav.” “thanks Ryanne. So how are you doing, how’s the pregnancy going?” you asked trying to get Jesper comfy. “It’s a typical pregnancy, claude is being so kind, I’m one lucky girl to had married such a amazing man.” Ryanne said while making faces at Jesper. 

By this point the fans had started to arrive pulling the guys in all different directions. You had lost sight of travis, knowing that this was going to happen you continued your conversation with the WAGS. “So when’s the big day?” Ryanne asked, “I’m not sure. I mean we are happy where we are at right now with our relationship and having Jesper we just don’t have the time right now.” You said. ‘Well, I can help you plan it if you want.” Ryanne said smiling. “Would you? your wedding was so amazing I loved every part of it.” You said getting excited “Of course, on one condition...” “Sure.” “you let me hold his cutie.” Ryanne said gesturing towards Jesper. You laughed handing him to Ryanne. You weren’t worried about Jesper being around the team so much as the fans. the team was just like one big family. “Say hi to your auntie Ryanne.” You smiled. 

Time continued on, Jesper was passed from one person to the next but you still had yet to see Travis again. Some of the kids had come put and waited to see Jesper. The said how cute he was and how they wanted to have another/ a baby sibling causing some adults to laugh while others shook their heads. It was mid way through the event when you finally spotted Travis. He was talking to a few fans at at talk. you just watched him smiling, that was until Jesper started crying. He had been asleep for a while. He probably needed to be changed. You excused yourself while grabbing the diaper bag and heading to the bathroom. On your way out after changing Jesper you literally bumped into Travis. “Hey babe. How’s our little baby?” Travis said taking him from you. “Good, he ate, met most of the team and their kids and he was sleeping but had woken up and needed to be changed. How’s his daddy doing?” You said kissing him. “Good. Fan are loving the event. Why don’t I take Jesper for a little and you go and relax with the girls?” Travis asked bouncing your baby. “Alright... but if he gets fussy...” “I can handle it babe. now go and eat or talk or something.” Travis said kissing you on the head and walking away. 

You headed back to the table watching closely as Travis held your baby tight. “He seems to be enjoying fatherhood.” You jumped not expecting to hear a males voice. turning around you saw Claude. “He’s a good dad, just really hard on himself for not being around but we watch his games when he’s gone. We are going to try to get out to a few games while your playing at home. It’s just hard with him being  so little.” You said sitting next to claude. “Yeah, Ryanne and I are literally reading every book we can find to make sure we are prepared and good parents.” g said “Oh you guys will be, you are like the father of this team and your wife is practically the mother of the WAGS.” You said laughing. “Thanks y/n. but i don’t know whether to be offended because that could taken as an old age remark...” You were about to say sorry but stopped because you noticed the huge grin on G’s face. “I know it can’t be easy taking care of a baby while you guys are still this young but I can tell that this baby is loved and will grow up in the right environment. He’s lucky to have you both as his parents.” “Thank you Claude that means a lot, I just feel like we are sometimes doing this backwards or wrong. Like sure 21 isn’t that young but Travis’s career is just starting and he’s away a lot. I mean like we aren’t even married....” “Woah. Y/n. It doesn’t matter if you are married or not, just as long as you are both happy together, as long as you love that baby that you both created. So what you are young, so what if you aren’t married. That doesn’t mean anything, it doesn’t even matter. All that matters is that you try to give that baby the best life possible.” Claude said now looking all serious. “No wonder they made you captain, you give the best talks.” You said smiling. “What I mean is true. I can see how Travis lights up while talking about you and Jesper. He loves you both and I can tell that you feel the same way.” Claude said now hugging you. “So don’t worry about what other people might think or say, you guys are doing great.” 

You thanked Claude again, he had excused himself to go continue to interact with the fans. You spotted Travis looking over at you taking your son’s hand he waved “Hi mama.” Travis had said. You walked over to him and your son. You both talked to all different fans some talking to you about how cute your little family was and others were talking to Travis asking whether or not they should look out of a little Konecny in 18 years. You both had a great time, you were a little sadden that the event had come to an end. Travis had walked you out to the car bags in hand. Nolan decided that he was going to stay a little later to help clean up but you knew it was because he liked one of the fans but didn’t want anyone to know. 

Placing Jesper in the car you closed the door turning to look at travis. “you know I watched you tonight with our son...” “A little stalker aren’t you.” Travis said laughing. “Oh stop. I was going to stay i’m already in love with you but I think after tonight that I love you more and that I will continue to be more in love with you each day.” You said looking up at Travis. “And I am more in love with you with every breathing moment we spend together. I will never let anything happen to you or Jesper ever.” Travis said leaning down to kiss you. “Also we have a lot of saving up to do for our wedding because Ryanne is going to help plan it.” you said smiling. “I leave you alone a few seconds and you go planning our wedding with someone else...” Travis said laughing. “Oh shut up.” You said laughing as well. 

[alipiee]

Ali, I am looking for new fanfictions, can you suggest some of your favourites? Victuuri And Otayuri I love them both! Thank you! ❤️

Oh gosh strap in, I have read far too many so this list might end up being kinda long! I don’t read Otayuri but I have a lot of Victuuri to throw your way buddy

(Under the cut)

Kintsugi by @witchsbane 114k (wip)

Yuuri Katsuki is a hitman burdened with a debt he can never repay. His target: Viktor Nikiforov, next Pakhan to one of the most dangerous families in the Russian mafia.

When the two are drawn into a treacherous alliance after a mission gone wrong, the bonds of love and loyalty to family and duty begin to unravel—even as they get more tangled up in each other.

ok but this is honestly my favourite yoi fic of all time!! The writing is so amazing and you get immersed straight away bc its so vivid and descriptive!! The plot is i n c r e d i b l e, I always seem to come back and reread it because its just as amazing the second (and third) time around. I literally can’t recommend it enough!!

empty spaces between stars by @victuuriplease 124k (wip)

Victor gets just as drunk as Yuuri at the Sochi Banquet, and they disappear together after the dance-offs. They wake up the morning after with rings on their fingers, and pictures of them kissing after getting married the night before are all over the tabloids… but neither of them remembers a thing. They decide to stay married for a while for the sake of Victor’s sponsorships, and in exchange, Victor coaches Yuuri through nationals…

!!!!! This is fantastic !!!! I’m such a sucker for fake dating marriage fics, and this might be the best one I’ve ever read! The fluff is wonderful and balances out the angst and pining and just!! I love it a lot!! 

The Boyfriend Experience by @victorsporosya 240k (wip)

Katsuki Yuuri is an accomplished escort at 23, operating under the pseudonym Eros, in Detroit. When one of his favourite clients sets him up with none other than world-renowned figure skater Victor Nikiforov, the delicate balance between Yuuri’s personal and professional life teeters ever closer towards ruin.

Ok but this fic also owns my life, Adele’s writing is so beautiful and even when you’re crying from the angst, you still feel blessed to be reading it! You can tell how much thought has been put into every sentence and it deserves all of the love and appreciation

Kings in Couture by @forovnix 15k (wip)

a devil wears prada au in which victor is the editor-in-chief of a fashion magazine, yuuri’s his new secretary, and instead of talking about his feelings, victor just sends him on a bunch of errands—“Okay, okay. Ready.” Yuuri starts scribbling as the voice on the other end, someone from the Style and Trends department, relays instructions. “Sorry, can you please spell ‘Gabbana’?”

The person on the line promptly hangs up on him.

Awkwardly, he sets the phone back on the receiver. “Guess not.”

This fic is a blessing tbh, it’s so witty and fun to read and two chapters of pure gold

hey stranger (don’t i look familiar to you) by @forovnix 4k 

It’s not that Yuuri is a nosy person. To be fair, he thinks anyone would wonder about the person they’ve been sharing a space with for the better part of a year.

Or, Yuuri is a part-time professor who shares an office with someone who writes themselves too many post-it notes. There are a lot of facts to process, and Yuuri’s got a lot of assumptions.

This is so heckin cute!! Had me smiling all the way through!! Once again Justine has blessed us with her lovely writing

not gold like in your dreams by @ebenroot 87k (complete)

“Victor, you could have let some psychopath into your apartment.”

“Oh come on, he’s not a psychopath,” Victor chides. Christophe makes a gesture with his hand that says ‘are you seriously this naïve or are you drunk at work again?’.

“Victor, you don’t know that. You don’t know anything about him. Whose name am I going to give to the police or face I’m going to describe to the sketch artist when they find your body chopped up like Hannibal Lecter’s side dish?”

–

in which Victor and Yuuri are roommates and Yuuri has a secret

A penelope au was definitely needed and this was amazing! Honestly I prefer this fic to the film its just so soft and cute!! I’m weak for it and the last chapter made me cry so much idk how many times I’ve reread it at this point but I kinda wanna read it again now 

never tasted rubies by @ebenroot 16k

Phichit puts up a poll on the radio website. It reads ‘What Do U Think About Yuuri K. from Hasetsu Nights and the Mysterious Caller Victor?’

Seventy-five percent of listeners said ‘lol they should just f*ck already tbh’.

–

in which Yuuri is an unwilling radio host and Victor won’t stop calling in to chat with him

My heart was so full while reading this, it was so funny and cute and perfect!

seek those who fan your flames by @ebenroot 48k (wip)

Yuuri gets hand-delivered a black-print T-shirt by one of his bodyguards on Friday. There’s a small sticky note attached to the collar in Victor’s handwriting that reads: ‘Our new band shirt! Logo is still a work in progress. Name too. But it’s a start! Let me know what you think after school. - Victor’

There’s a heart next to his name that is hastily scribbled out. Then another heart next to that one, like Victor decided to put it in anyways.

Yuuri thinks he’s in love.

–

in which Yuuri is a teenager that’s actually a prince, and Victor is a teenager with a band that just wants to listen to rock music with him

I had a mighty need for a princess diaries au and this is wonderful!! Victor is such a sweetheart in this and its all just so wonderful and warm! 

turn it, leave it, stop, format it by @ebenroot 19k

“If you want, I can recommend you some security programs that you can download for free and protect your computer. That way, you won’t be at risk of losing these cute photos of your dog even when you browse websites like ‘Luscious Lonely Wives’.”

Victor gives one long ‘haa’. “I don’t browse those websites,” he says through his straining smile.

–

the ‘i will break any and all electronic devices that get into my hands if it means I get to talk to the cute tech support guy’ fic

This fic had me l i v i n g, it was so funny and cute and fluffy!!

The Rules For Lovers by @adreamingsongbird​ 323k (complete)

Prince Yuuri Katsuki has a duty to his country, above all else (his desires, his dreams, and his happiness included), and he knows this alliance will help to ensure the safety of his people. That’s the only reason he accepts Prince Nikiforov’s hand in marriage. The pleasant surprise, of course, is the part where they fall in love along the way. The unpleasant one, well…

That’s a long story.

This is so i n t e n s e! The fluff and humour is so perfect and Yuuri and Victor’s relationship is so perfect (and although the angst is painful as heck), its perfect! The plot is amazinggg and every update had me shook! It belongs in a bookstore to be honest, its so so so incredible!

to sweep me off my feet by @adreamingsongbird​ 33k

Yuuri went to school in America to get a good, stable job—no, really, Mom, he meant to, he swears! And journalism was promising! It was really good! Until supervillains started appearing and then a (rather attractive) superhero showed up too, and, well…

This is his life, these are his choices, and it’s absolutely unfair that he has to have the office across from someone as hot as Viktor Nikiforov.

The cutest superhero au, with the cutest art, and cutest plot!!

But Monsters Are Always Hungry, Darling by @orchids-and-fictional-cities​ and art by @iruutciv​ 61k (wip)

Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Rape/Non-con 

“You do this, you do. You take the things you love and tear them apart or you pin them down with your body and pretend they’re yours. So, you kiss him, and he doesn’t move, he doesn’t pull away, and you keep on kissing him. And he hasn’t moved, he’s frozen, and you’ve kissed him, and he’ll never forgive you, and maybe now he’ll leave you alone.”

A brutal murder on Christmas Eve abruptly pulls one Detective Nikiforov out of a holiday he was just starting to tolerate, and forces him to come to terms with demons he’s been pretending not to see. On that same night, a man walks into a bar and waltzes into his life, lighting a spark that grows into a monster of its own.

Wow. This fic is so incredibly well-written and the plot thickens with each chapter, I’m so excited every time it updates honestly!! As if the writing wasn’t descriptive enough, there’s also equally beautiful art for every chapter and together its just amazing!

Confidential Information by @iwritebetterthanispeak​ 77k (wip)

Yuuri never imagined that being able to figure skate would be useful for his job at Interpol. He was very, very wrong.

Viktor Nikiforov, as a famous athlete popular in the public eye, has received threats before. There are very few he takes seriously. However, as more secrets are uncovered and nothing is as it appears, the stakes rise until it becomes clear that there may not be a way to save him this time.

I’m finally getting around to reading this and!! Addy is back with her amazing writing and I can’t wait to catch up!

If Perfect’s What You’re Searching For, Then Just Stay the Same by @iwritebetterthanispeak​ 6k

Yuuri took a deep breath, and faced the starstruck barista. “I am sorry, my Russian is very bad,” he said tentatively, shoulders hunching slightly. “Do you want me to repeat?”

“N-no, sorry, sir,” the barista said. She blushed and brushed her hair behind one ear. “I’ll get that for you right away!” She stepped away from the counter and called in fast-paced Russian, “Dmitri, come here! The most beautiful man in the world is back!”

Viktor’s smile grew. The employees of the coffee shop weren’t being cruel or making fun of Yuuri’s accent, they were enchanted with him. Viktor could sympathize, his fiancé was very enchanting.

And then he noticed that Yuuri was curled in on himself, eyes lowered and arms wrapped around his chest.

[In which Viktor realizes that Yuuri is a somewhat unreliable narrator]

Well this was just so cute, thank u addy for blessing my life once again

Love Letters by @shslshortie   44k (wip)

Ever since he was young, Yuuri Katsuki had always admired Victor Nikiforov. He was the one who had inspired him to start skating. He had pictures and posters of him all over his room — and Victor was his idol.

Like any fan of an idol, Yuuri loved to send Victor fanmail. Of course, he could never bring himself to sign it as anything other than “Your Secret Fan”, but it still made his heart come alive to write about his love for the silver-haired skater

This is one of those fics that you just can’t put down, I was reading it during all my free periods at college and its the cutest! Also all of the letters are drawn and in the body of text, so it adds so much more to it, its so wonderful!

starstruck by @haikuyus​ 167k (complete)

“Hold my son for a moment,” says the Viktor Nikiforov, live in the flesh, sweaty and panting.

“Wha—” Yuuri can’t even begin to comprehend what’s going on before Viktor is gone, and there’s a child in his arms.

(in which yuuri is a barista-turned-babysitter, viktor is a famous movie star, and yuri is an 8 year old kid stuck in the middle of it.)

so i developed a love for kid fics, and this was the first one I read, its sooooo good! Yuri is so precious and Yuuri is so precious and Viktor is so precious and just,,, theyre all so precious!

Lessons in Love by @fangirlandiknowit101​ 113k (wip)

All Viktor wants is for his son to be happy - and if that means spending countless hours at the ice rink, a million more in the ballet studio, and devotedly cheering for Katsuki Yuuri at every competition he enters, then that is precisely what he’ll do.

He just didn’t expect to become a fan, too.

(He didn’t expect to fall in love.)

This fic has me so weak, its the softest thing ever! Yuri is the cutest, and Viktor is the best dad and Yuuri is just the best tbh, I have a lot of love for this!!

on growing; by @crossroadswrite​ 125k (wip)

Yuri Plisetsky glares at him with all the righteousness five year olds possess, and says in heavily accented and clumsy English. “Be more gooder, stupid!”

And then he storms out in a sweep of blond hair and blue and red lights from his Sketchers.

(Or: in which everything is the same but Yuri Plisetsky is Victor’s bratty five-year-old child.)

This fic cleared my skin and watered my crops, its so fluffy and each chapter is a blessing

sweet like love (soft like pain) by @postingpebbles​ 10k (wip)

Loving Yuuri was a choice that Viktor never regretted making. His smile, his laughter, the way his lips felt against his own—nothing could make him happier than having Yuuri in his arms.

But when the entire world has no idea that rivals Yuuri Katsuki and Viktor Nikiforov are in a relationship, Viktor can’t do anything at all when Yuuri gets in an accident and is rushed to the hospital the day after he proposes in a hotel room in Nagano.

I love ollie and she loves hurting my heart apparently, this is such a wonderful fic and I can’t wait for her to bless us even more with her writing

The Selection by @gallopingmonroe-blog​ 262k (wip)

Returning home on the tail end of an injury that ends his dancing career, Yuri Katsuki is trying to find his future again. As a Five, he knows his options are limited, but when he finds an invitation to Crown Prince Victor Nikiforov’s Selection, he is convinced by a friend to apply.

He never thought he’d be Selected.

When he is, he finds that his world is changed forever, and that the Crown Prince is not exactly what he’d expected.

!!! This fic is so beautiful !!! Yuuri and Viktor’s relationship is so cute, and Yuuri’s friendship with Yuri and Phichit and all of the others is so cute, and the entirety of the fic is so cute!!

a black heart of gold by @katzuyas​ and beautiful art by @lamenart​ and @iruutciv​ 67k (complete)

Victor Nikiforov, aka Grand Prix, knows that he’s Yakov’s most skilled hitman. That’s just a fact and he isn’t in the habit of arguing with facts.He also knows that he’s the only one Yakov trusts, period. In this case though, he’s the only one Yakov can rely on to take care of the elusive sniper Eros, who kills Yakov’s henchmen left and right.What Victor doesn’t know, however, is that Eros’ little vendetta is not a matter of coincidence, but pure premeditation, and thus… he falls into a trap that a rookie like Little Fairy could see from a mile away.He falls in lust.And then in love.The fool.

This fic is so intense and so descriptive and playful and just! Amazing honestly!!

November’s Secret by @lanaberryrawr​ 233k (complete)

Overwhelmed with anxiety and his fear of failing, Yuuri faces the issue of if he should continue skating. His best friend, Yuko, proposes a solution - if no one knows it’s you, then it’s less embarrassing, right? Yuuri begins to create a completely new disguise and persona.

But it works a little too well.

Before he knows it, Yuuri has become the biggest mystery of the skating world and everyone wants to know who he is. Especially Viktor Nikiforov, the idol he’s been loosely basing his new persona on for years.

This was such a cool and original concept for a fic and oh my godddd it was incredible!! Definitely one of the best I’ve read!! 

Gunned Down Butterflies by @lanaberryrawr​ 207k (wip)

Everyone’s lives revolve around two names - the name of an enemy, and the name of a soulmate, both tattooed on their wrists.

But for Yuuri, his fated soulmate and enemy are the same person. One name tattoed on his skin.

After years of believing it meant only unhappiness and pain, he begins to bandage them up and hide them from the world. He even begins to forget about them - until he meets a new client in need of a guard against the Russian mafia.

Nothing can hide him from fate - not bandaging the names, not forgetting about them, not even moving on without them. The owner of the name on his skin will find him eventually.

Okay but the amount of cliffhangers in this fic is amazing, it’s so good and I love it!! It’s such a cool take on a soulmate au!! I can’t wait for the next few chapters :D

Behind these Locked Doors by @axlaida​ 79k (wip)

“I will find a way out of here,” Yuuri stated firmly and Victor’s expression never faltered. His face was stone cold – frozen like ice. “I know it may take a while… but I have to try.”Victor let out a breath, shaking his head as he smiled. “I said the exact same thing when I arrived.”

They were trapped with no way out. And all that stood between them and their escape was a door - locked and impossible to escape from. But Yuuri had hope. He would escape this, whether the man wanted them to or not.

This is such an amazing mystery fic! I literally sit and think about it someimes at night, trying to work it all out lol, its so good!!

learn to love the skies I’m under by @linneakou 37k

The day after the Sochi GPF banquet, Katsuki Yuuri disappears without a trace.

The day after the Sochi GPF banquet, Viktor Nikiforov finds a stray poodle and takes it home with him.

These two events are, oddly enough, connected.

I never knew I needed a fic where Yuuri turned into a dog and lived with Viktor a while, but this fic changed my life tbh, its so good!

Call you by name by @linneakou 13k

Drunk, depressed, and lonely, Viktor Nikiforov makes a wish that has unforeseen consequences for himself and many people around him.

(an alternate take on the premise of learn to love the skies I’m under)

This version is also incredible!! I love them both a lot!!

Puppy Love by @phyona​ 10k

When Yuuri gets turned into a dog, the last place he expects to end up is Victor Nikiforov’s apartment. He learns quickly that the only thing worse than being his idol’s pet, is watching him pine for someone else.

Oh man,,,,this fic you guys, I love it so much! The angst oh my gosh, its such an amazing story! 

Green Light by @gia-comeatme​ 21k (complete)

Chris knows what Viktor looks like when he has a crush, and he is 100% sure that Viktor Nikiforov has a crush on his pole dancing classmate, Yuuri Katsuki.

What he doesn’t know is why Viktor hasn’t gotten off his ass and gone for him already.

As a good friend, Chris is obligated to help Viktor out a little bit.

(And that’s where everything goes to shit.)

Red Light by @gia-comeatme​ 30k (wip)

Chris has had many lovers in the years that Viktor has known him. However, none of them can even compare to Chris’ newest boyfriend.

Viktor knows it’s wrong, but he falls in love with Yuuri Katsuki anyway.

Both of these fics were sooo good oh my god! I have a weakness for misunderstandings and angst with a happy ending, so like these were right up my street and they were amazingggg

Dr. Shiny and the Case of the Beautiful Man by @etherealalchemist​ 6k

There are about five things that Victor, in this very moment, is absolutely sure of.

1. The spawns of satan are here2. they are not accompanied by their angel of a mother3. they are with the most beautiful man he’s ever seen4. his scrubs are wet from where he’d dropped water on himself5. and Victor is very, very gay.

Emphasis on point five, with a side of cupid’s arrow and “ba-dum ba-dum” on a plate.

Because he is Very Gay, and not only is he Very Gay but he is also Hopelessly Attracted to a man who is undoubtedly Very Straight and very Unavailable and is perhaps the Most Beautiful Man Victor has ever seen.

—

in which Victor is a doctor, Yuuri is a godfather, and Yuri just wants some peace and quiet and a larger stash of lollipops.

This was so sweet and funny! I had to take a second while I was reading it from laughing so much honestly!

We Two Boys 11k (wip)

Yuuri talks about his crush on Victor Nikiforov while recording an episode of his and Phichit’s podcast We Two Boys. It’s not a big deal until it Becomes A Big Deal.

An ocean away, Victor falls in luv.

this is so funny omg, I love Phichit and Yuuri’s friendship so much

turntables by @vitavitali​ 4k

It happens approximately one week after Yuuri’s disastrous performance in Sochi.

Viktor Nikiforov @v-nikiforovI wish I could date pretty black haired boys who dance well.

“Ooh, the candidates are already flooding in!” Phichit says with an amused grin.

“Candidates?” Yuuri asks and Phichit helps Yuuri scroll down to read the replies. Most of them are variants of “date me!” with pictures attached. It’s all very interesting.

“You should send one too!” Phichit says and Yuuri doesn’t even bother answering him. “Look, I’ll send one if you send one. It’ll be fun!”

Oh my gosh I remember reading this so long ago, and I found it again a few days ago and I still love it so much

posterboy by @vitavitali​ 1.5k

“I’m going to kill whoever who did this,” Yuuri assured the poster. “I’m going to kill them for you. Don’t worry, baby, I’m going to murder anyone who thought it was a good idea to harm you. They’ll die screaming.”

“What?” came the poster’s startled reply.

“What?” Yuuri parroted back, because posters weren’t supposed to talk, especially not in Viktor Nikiforov’s melodious Russian accented voice.

This is iconique honestly, theyre both so cute!

Rainy Days by  @vitavitali​ 5k

Director’s List Viktor Nikiforov falls in love with bad boy transfer student Katsuki Yuuri. What happens next will warm your heart.

So I kind of binged this authors fics and this one is also amazing!!

There’s still so many fics I want to recommend but I’ve spent like 2 hours on this list and I don’t want it to get too long, so these are the ones that sprang to mind,  happy reading!

[hellomissmabel]

Trophy Wife

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Dayton White x plus size!reader

Warnings: None I can think of.

Word count: 2.225

Summary:  Dayton White is the king of the race track. But what is a king without his queen? Y/N is the curvy daughter of the owner of a race track circuit and being a plus size girl amongst pretty grid girls and sexy race queens has proven to be quite challenging. But she’s a tough cookie and that is precisely what Dayton loves so much about her.

A/N: I’ve posted a masterlist with all upcoming plus size!reader fics. I keep getting new ideas, so this masterlist will be updated as the ideas come and go. There will always be an announcement post. If you want on the tag list, please comment on the announcement post of send me an ask!

This one is dedicated to @abovethesmokestacks because she wrote one of the most stunning Dayton fics ever and I wanna honour her.

All plus size fics can be found here

Born and raised amongst fast cars and pretty girls, your career at the race track started at your sweet sixteen when your father presented you with the keys to your very first car. Even though it wasn’t a race car, you were still allowed to drive the track after hours if you wanted. Your elder brother, Reese, started working as a mechanic as soon as he finished high school and your younger brother Roy aspired to be a race car driver just like your father.

Your father had wanted a different career for you, away from all the fast cars and pretty girls you grew up with, but the middle child is usually the rebel child. Ever since you were a little girl, you have been obsessed with the old photographs of your mother during her time as a race queen, before she fell in love with your father and said goodbye to the pageantry that accompanies the life of a race queen. So during the summer of your eighteenth birthday, you asked your father if you could work as grid girl for a couple weeks before you were off to college.

When you’re curvy, working as a grid girl certainly is an interesting experience. The outfits are usually too tight and too short and the racers too handsy. You were very much into grunge during your teen years and on most days would show up at the tracks in little high-waisted, black denim shorts and a band t-shirt tucked into them. Just because you are a plus size girl doesn’t mean you can’t handle those sexy outfits! And being an only girl in an all-boys family you learnt how the be more verbal and stand your ground, which those grabby drivers learnt the hard way.

Yet you also realised that the glitter and glamour goes hand in hand with prejudice. Some of the grid girls you worked with admired your body confidence. You loved your curves and you loved showing them off, but you also still had your insecurities. Some of the other grid girls took advantage of that, especially the ones sleeping around with the race car drivers, shaming you in front of them. By the end of the summer, you couldn’t wait to put the grid girl uniform aside and dive back into your books, much to your father’s delight. College was your way out, your escape from the race tracks that you held so dear for so many years, those same race tracks that made you feel bad for being curvy.

Unfortunately your mother died not long after your graduation and you immediately returned to the tracks to help your father out with all the funeral arrangements. He had aged well with the years but time was weighing hard on him after he lost his dearly beloved wife. So you had planned to stay a bit longer, until everything had been figured out and the race tracks were back up and running for their next big event. By then Roy’s career had taken flight and on his first professional race he asked you to stay one day longer so you could to do him the honour of being his race queen, should he win that day.

You protested heavily at first since as a full-figured grid girl, you had gotten enough dirty looks your way when you were younger, showing up in short skirts and tight dresses that barely covered your thighs. But he’s your little brother and had just lost the most important women in his life, so you jumped into one of those sexy race queen outfits and cheered your brother on. He finished second that day. Later that evening, your father asked you to stay involved in the family business as his personal assistant and general manager.

Working side-by-side with your eldest brother,  who was responsible for the cars, and your father who was responsible for the condition of the racing track, you put that fancy communications degree to good use. You still continued to cheer your younger brother on, but no longer as a grid girl or a race queen. You preferred the safety of the side-lines as you made sure the races ran as smoothly as possible.

As you were now responsible for the public relations, this also meant you had to get to know all the racers personally to a certain extent. This way you could tap into their needs effortlessly and inspire them to practice more often at your father’s race tracks, outside of the three days of competition. Some of the drivers from back in the day were now coaching the next generation race car drivers and most of them recognised you from before.

You had grown to be a stunning young woman you’re your curves were very well received amongst some of the new drivers. And that’s how you met him, with his intentions of gold and his icy blue eyes with a touch of silver. His smile made all the grid girls swoon and the race queens fighting to stand next to him on that stage. Because he is a winner and always finishes first. You were sold the moment you shook hands and congratulated him on yet another winning.

Flashforward to three years later, you’re biting your nails in the VIP room. While coaxing a big spender to invest his dollar bills into your father’s beloved racing tracks, your lover is racing towards another golden medal. One of the waitresses offers you a glass of champagne, telling you it’ll help with the nerves, and you thank her kindly. One of the sponsors you’re buttering up to checks out the girl’s ass as she leaves and you try to keep your disgust to yourself as he swoops in to take her place beside you.

He’s one of the newer attaché’s, born in a generation of new money, money that is gladly spent on fast cars. They don’t appreciate the sport anymore, they’re just here for the bets and the ladies. “I see the race is in capable hands,” he comments as he clinks his glass with yours. “You’ve done a marvellous job yet again.”

“Thank you very much. These tracks are my father’s pride and joy and it’s an honour to be hosting the annual NASCAR race,” you state confidently.

The man nods, smiling friendly at you yet ogling one of the waitresses behind you before he speaks again. “You’re White’s girl, right?”

“I am,” you state plainly, unsure of where to steer the conversation. “But if you want to meet him, you gotta talk to his manager first. I can point you towards her, if you want.”

He leans his arms on the bars in front of the windows that look over the tracks, his eyes glued on the competition playing out before them. “Nah, I was actually hoping to talk to you,” he chuckles softly as he straightens his back, facing you again with a little smile. “There are rumours that he’s going to quit racing. People are saying he wants to settle down and start a family.”

“Oh, really?,” you question tongue-in-cheek, accustomed to people prying into your private life. “That’s the first I’ve heard of this.” The man laughs lightly and takes another sip of champagne. “I don’t think Day’s ever gonna quit the tracks. He lives for this.”

“Never underestimate the power of a beautiful woman, love,” he assures you before placing his empty glass on a waitress’ tray as she passes by. “You might be surprised when you see what men are willing to do for their wives.”

You shake your head, asking another waitress for a refill. “But I’m not his wife.”

“We’ll see about that,” he answers with a grin as he bids you goodbye, leaving you puzzled as to what the meaning was of all this.

Despite your confusion, you’re relieved the man is gone. Now you can focus your full attention on the final round, exiting the VIP room and joining the crowd as you make your way down towards the workstation of your brother and the other mechanics. This is where the action is the wildest, the adrenaline rush the greatest. This is the best spot to see your racer cross that finish line and win yet another gold medal.

Everybody showers Dayton with congratulations and flowers and champagne. He pops open the bottle immediately, spraying some of the fans and friends that have gathered around him before emptying what’s left of it in a few long gulps. Passing the bottle on to his manager, who gives it to one of the grid girls to be taken care of, he searches the mass for one person in particular.

And then his eyes fall on you. You’re standing at the back and he swiftly pushes himself off the race car and with long strides makes his way towards you. “I won!,” he squeaks out as he picks you up and twirls you around, his laughter intoxicating as you giggle at his enthusiasm.

“Yes… you… did… babe,” you smile at him in between loving kisses. “I’m so proud of you!”

Dayton puts you down again but keeps his arm firmly around your waist as they guide the two of you to the stage. Normally he’d get on it alone because you prefer to stay out of the spotlights. But with a few gentle words and hot whispers here and there he sweet-talks you on the stage anyway, letting you climb on first before wrapping his arms around you again as he stands behind you, nuzzling his face in the nape of your neck and inhaling deeply.

“You smell so sweet,” he hums quietly into your ear. “You smell like home.”

After all three winners have received their medals and the racers have had their moment with the race queens, the stage is quickly vacated. Dayton would only accept his medal and flowers from you and he even said no to a kiss to the cheek from them, prompting a curious glance from you.

“What’s going on, Day?,” you comment on his odd behaviour. Dayton simply smirks and waves at a girl on the side-lines, whose heels click loudly as she rushes to his side with a little velvet box and a microphone.

He rubs his sweaty palms on his uniform first before taking over from the girl, nodding his head as a thank you. “I guess this is where I give my speech, hm?,” he chuckles towards the crowd as he releases you and steps away, leaving you flustered in confusion.

With a deep breath, he begins his story. “Five months ago, I told my sponsors I planned on slowing down after this race. My baby girl and I had just celebrated our three year anniversary and there was this little velvet box burning in my pocket. I’ve been thinking about this for a very long time. Longer than five months. Hell,” he exhales nervously, “I’ve been thinking about this since the moment I laid eyes on her!”

The crowd cheers him on, chanting his name. “Point is, I’ve got all these gold medals and all these trophy, but you know what the real trophy is?”

Everybody goes silent in anticipation of his answer and you eye him anxiously, wringing your hands together, your palms just as sweaty as his. “She is my trophy,” he declares into the microphone and you’ve never seen him more enamoured than in that very moment.

“She is the only trophy that matters,” he continues as his tenor grows with love and his voice turns more and more tender. “This woman here is all that is good in my life and all that matters. She is my trophy and I would like to ask her…”

Dayton gets down on one knee and the crowd goes wild. He pops open the box and shows you the ring inside, a beautiful silver band with a delicate gemstone in the middle, surrounded by intricate leaves.

“Y/N Y/L/N, would you do me the honour of being and my trophy and my wife?” And then he adds in a more cheeky tone, “Be my trophy wife, baby?”

Clasping your hands in front of your mouth, gasping in astonishment and crying out of sheer happiness, you ardently shake your head at this little stunt he just pulled. “Yes! Yes of course I’ll be your trophy wife!,” you chuckle lovingly, tears stinging your eyes as he slides the ring up your finger.

“I knew you’d make a show out of asking me to be your wife,” you comment shakily at his proposal as you pull him back to his feet and into a searing kiss.

“Where’s the fun in doing it the old-fashioned way, hm? A candlelit dinner isn’t really my thing, baby, you know that.” Dayton presses his lips to yours hard, moving them feverishly as his hands search for even an inch of exposed, soft skin.

“Shut up, Day,” you laugh jokingly, batting away his eager hands as they try to dip underneath your shirt. Dayton settles his hands on your hips instead, his lips pecking yours affectionately. “I love you, but don’t push it.”

“I love you, too, trophy wife,” he grins into the kiss as the cameras flash to get a good picture of the freshly announced future Mrs. White.

Tagging: @avengerofyourheart @a-little-hell-to-raise @marvelingatthewonder @mrshopkirk @hardcorehippos @knittingknerdy @winterboobaer @italwaysendsinafightt @viollettes @hymnofthevalkyrie @feelmyroarrrr @justareader @austinamelio @volklana @4theluvofall @themcuhasruinedme @theoneandonlysaucymo @caplanbuckybarnes @nenyakj @amrita31199 @emilyevanston @minervaem @howlingbarnes @buchananbarnestrash @youandb @you-and-bucky @fvckingsteverogers @thatawkwardtinyperson @that-sokovian-bastard @abovethesmokestacks @marvelrevival @marvel-fanfiction @justanotherbuckydevotee @barnes-heaven @heartmade-writingbucky @buckyywiththegoodhair @captnbarnesrogers @mellifluous-melodramas @its-not-a-phase-hux @melconnor2007 @ivvitm1109 @toofuckinfabulous @ailynalonso15 @hollycornish @delicatecapnerd @camigt1999 @learisa @curlyexpat @palaiasaurus64 @fanndas-snow-goddess @crisssivonne @yourenotrogers @tomhollandzs @supernaturaldean67 @beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep @aletheladyinred @beyondbarnes @xbergiex @reniescarlett @promarvelfangirl @capbuckybuchanan @lovemarvelousfics @riskybarnes @yknott81 @kanupps06 @rrwilson66 @pegasusdragontiger @mizzzpink @salty-holographic-stickers @sammyissassy @sebstanchrisevanchickforever19

Tag list for all plus size stories: @suz-123 @kiwi71281 @whatisaheroanyway @ilovebeingjoyful @veronicalei @meganlane84 @thescarsweleave @isaxhorror @pleasantdreamqueen @kudosia @georgiadean37 @revlismoriarty @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @evyiione @salamander-falls @taylorjacksonandtheolympians

Trophy Wife tag list: @bladebarnes @reniescarlett @georgiagrl1990 @sexyashmike @alexandragoestothemovies @skatinginpr0gress @jeleners143 @jesspfly @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @youpocketwitch @sebbystanlover-vk @spiderman-2013 @svenyves @almondbuttercup @sslater34 @lostinspace33 @addictivewriter @3dsaunt @ashleydivine @writevanna @marvel-at-bucky @movingonto-betterthings @tinyfistwarrior  @thefandomimagines @black-widow-fangirl

[deathvalleyqueen]

Goodnight Sweetheart (Negan x Lucille)

Title: Goodnight Sweetheart (Part of the Series “Her Father’s Daughter”)

Rating: R/Mature

Pairings: Negan x Lucille (they is my OTP)

Warnings: DEATH... the whole subject of the one shot <.<

AO3 Link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/13712490

Summery : Summery: Set directly before the events of “Her Father’s Daughter”. Negan says goodnight to Lucille, one last time. 

Everything since the moment that Lucille found out that she had cancer felt like a giant blur to Negan. This type of thing happened to other people, not his family. Other guys watch their wives waste away, he wasn’t supposed to. That was not the plan.

The plan was for them to grow old together, to watch Jolene become some hot shot lawyer and to fall asleep one night together and never wake up. It was the dream that he knew his wife held on to as she endured surgeries, seemingly endless rounds of cemo and radiation as the cancer just spread. Unphased by all the efforts to stop it’s invasion.

They had so much hope in the days leading up to the seizure that put his beautiful, compassionate and patient wife in the hospital bed before him. She had more energy than she had in months, she was smiling and laughing. Lucille had even found the energy to cook him his favorite meal the night before. Then that morning as they got up and had coffee Negan could see something was off. When he went to get the paper and mail, that’s when it happened. The only thing that alerted him was the sound of the glass coffee pot shattering on the tile floor.

He knew it that moment it wasn’t good. Hours later he sat by her bedside after dozens of tests had been run waiting for the young doctor to come in and speak to him. Negan felt helpless, he didn’t want to worry his daughter until her knew for sure what his gut told him. They were at the end.

There was as soft knock on the door and young doctor walked in. Negan recognized him as one of the first guys he had coached at football nearly 16 years ago. “Jacob Kline, well I’ll be damned…” Negan stood up and met his former student and player with a handshake.

“Nice to see you Coach, I really wish it was under different circumstances.” Jacob gave a kind smile and gestured for Negan to sit back down next to his wife as the younger man pulled up a chair besides him. “I was on call and saw Lucille’s name on the board, I wanted to take care of her personally…”

Negan gave a half smile and patted Jacob on the knee. “I remember you two had just gotten married the year you took over as JV football coach.” Jacob recalled with a fond smile remembering happier times. “You two had a little girl, you used to call her your assistant… you used to make us give her piggy back rides when you made us run laps.”

Negan smiled softly and looked over at his still sedated wife. “Jolene…”

“Where is she?” Jacob asked softly.

“Collage,” Negan started reaching over and grabbing his wife’s hand. “Columbia… Pre Law..”

The younger man let out a heavy sigh. “You may want to call her Coach, things aren’t good.” He was trying so hard to be kind about delivering the heartbreaking news but Negan saw right through.

“Cut the shit Kline…” Negan snapped.

“The cancer is spreading, it’s an extremely aggressive form and Lucille had to have known she didn’t have much time left. I looked back over her scans and there hasn’t been any sign of shrinkage in the tumors, the ones they removed grew back and spread.” Negan hung his head as the younger man spoke and he buried his face in his hands to hide the tears streaming down his face.

It took him a moment to gain his composure enough to lift his head and speak. “She had been doing so well the last few days, feeling great… happy… so fucking happy.”

Jacob felt horrible seeing the man that he had admired for his strength and composure all those years falling apart before him. He reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder. “It’s not uncommon for those close to the end to get try and rally… but it was false hope and I am so sorry Negan.” The older man choked back a sob and bit his bottom lip. “Call Jolene… tell her it’s time to come say her goodbyes… we will do everything possible to give your family as much time with her as possible and keep Lucille as comfortable as possible so she does not suffer… but we are at the end of her journey and the rest is in God’s hands.”

The two men sat for a sometime in silence, Negan mulling over the news that this really was the end. Jacob got a page and had to excuse himself but promised he would come back and check on them both in a bit. Negan sat holding Lucille’s hand as he got lost in his own thoughts. He couldn’t bring himself to call Jolene, not yet. He wasn’t sure that he could hold it together speaking with her in the moment. Lucille squeezed his hand shaking him from his thoughts as she mustered what little strength she had to wake up and speak. “Negan…” She said softly, her voice was weak and raspy.

Negan nearly jumped up out of his chair at the sound of his wife’s voice. He stood up and perched himself over her fragile frame that seem so small in the large hospital bed. “There’s my girl…” He said softly gently caressing her cheek.

“I’m sorry..” She said softly. “I’m sorry… I should have told you..”

Negan shook he head and hushed her. “Don’t you fucking dare apologize baby… don’t… I am the one who fucked so much up… you were god damn perfect.”  He couldn’t fight the tears any more, they started to fall in a steady stream as his wife reached her shaky hand up to wipe them away.

“You have to be strong now, Jo needs you to be strong for her… I am not gonna be there..” She start as her own tears feel. “You need to make sure she marries a good man, one who will treat her right. Make sure she is happy. Make sure she knows she was always mine… always mine… from the moment I saw her she was my baby..” Her voice was shaky as she spoke and Negan rested his head against her’s.

“I promise… I promise my love…”  

“I wanted to see her grow up and do all those beautiful things she dreamed about. I am never going to watch her walk down across the stage as she graduates, or down the aisle when she gets married… or hold my first grandchild.” The gravity of the situation was hitting them both like a tone of brick. Negan put down the side of the hospital bed and crawled beside his wife as she weakly sobbed into his chest. He felt helpless. There was nothing he could possibly say that would fix this, no apology or flowers he could give her that would make this pain go away.

Negan ran his hand down his wife’s back, “You will see it all… I know you will.” Negan said softly. “You will always be her angel… just like you have been mine.” He rocked her gently in his arms as he continued. “You are our strength, the glue that hold this family together…” He could feel her start to slowly struggle more to breath as he spoke. He glanced down at her and she was looking up at him through hooded eyes. Her left hand, still with her wedding ring on, placed over his heart. Her head nestled in the crook of his neck. “I was a horrible husband… you deserved so much better than me Lucille. I can’t make it up to you now but I fucking promise you that I will not let our girl marry some shit head like me who can’t see the prize he had all along.”

They stayed like that for some time, Lucille had fallen asleep once more in her husband’s arms. Negan exhausted by the ordeal allowed himself to drift off as well, not knowing if he would ever fall asleep holding the woman he loved again. He slumber was short lived when alarms from the monitor started to blare and Lucille struggled to breath in his arms.

Negan’s heart sank to the pit of his stomach as he watched his wife gasp for air in his arms. “Baby… no… not yet baby… please not yet.” He cried frantically a team of nurses and doctors rushed in with a large machine.

One of the nurses, a pretty young blonde woman, gently grabbed Negan by the shoulder. “Sir, Sir… we need you to step out of the room so we can help your wife breathe.” She said in a calm, kind tone. Negan was like a deer in the headlights watching as the dropped the bed down and swarmed his wife with lights and tubes. The nurse ushered him outside the room. “Wait here, we will get you when you can come back in.” She said softly before returning into the room and closing the door.

Negan didn’t know what to do, he felt around in his pockets for his cell phone and pulled it out to call his daughter to let her know she needed to get home because it may already be too late.

It took them nearly an hour to get Lucille situated on the ventilator enough that Negan could return. Once he did he sat by his wife’s bedside, silent lost in his own thoughts. He sat like that well into the evening despite the obvious chaos that was going on in the hospital and beyond it’s walls. It was nearly 10pm when Jacob Kline came running frantically into Lucille’s room.

“Coach you need to leave the hospital right now… it’s getting too dangerous…” The young man was covered in blood and looked to have a bite mark on his left forearm.

Negan looked up and simply said. “I am not leaving my wife…” as he stood up. “She is not going to fucking die alone!” He bellowed at Jacob who just turned with out another word and raced out sight. Negan turned to look out the window. He could see the military setting up some kind of blockade around the hospital. He couldn’t make out much more than that in the low light.

He turned back and looked down at Lucille and just shook his head. “It’s best you are sleep through this shit anyway baby… it looks like everything is going to hell.” He ran his hand across her forehead and let out a heavy sigh. “I hope Jolene is okay, she is driving all the way from New York just to come say goodbye…” He smiled softly hoping her heard his words. “She is such a good kid, it had fuck all to do with me.” He kissed her forehead and put down the rail of  the bed and rested his head next to her hand.

“We are just going to wait for our girl… everything else be damned…” He kissed her fingertips and closed his eyes once more drifting off into a restless slumber.

Around 5 am there was a loud bang from outside that woke Negan who once more raced to the window to see what had caused the noise. As he looked out the window he saw the city in flames. The lights in the hospital flickered and then shut off. The machine that was breathing for Lucille slowly came to halt.

Negan’s eye’s got wide as they filled with tears. “No! FUCKING NO!” He screamed as he watched Lucille’s chest rise and fall with her last breath. “Don’t you fucking dare!” He screamed shaking his wife’s lifeless body thinking that would somehow make her take breath once more. “Baby… No… Lucille…” He cried as took her into his arms as her heart pumped it’s final time. He let out a soul shattering wail as he kissed her cheeks.

“Please… come back… don’t go.” He pleaded as he kissed her face. “I will be a better man… a better husband, I promise baby. Lucille, please…come back.” He held her face against his as he sobbed and rocked her lifeless body. “My love… my only love…” His voice was horse from screaming and his eyes so red with tears.

He crawled into the bed with her, wrapping his arms tightly around her as if that would bring her back to life. “I’m so sorry…” He cried. “So sorry…” He rocked her and pleaded for her to come back for the next few moments.

Then he felt her arm twitch under his and his eyes got wide and he jumped back. “Lucille… baby… “ He looked up and saw her eyes pop open, they were glassy, foggy and looked dead. A low groan escaped deep within her throat as she began to claw at her husband. Negan screamed not comprehending what was going as he flew out of the bed and stumbled backwards knocking an IV pole into the bedside table as he did so with a large crash.

Lucille was now sitting up in bed, struggling against the breathing machine to get towards Negan who was quickly rushing towards the door. Once he flung the door open he saw nearly half dozen other people in the same state as his wife. “What the fuck…” He muttered before hearing a young boy scream.

“I gotta get the fuck out of her. He heard a crash from Lucille’s room and saw that she had knocked the ventilator over and was now out of bed and trying to make her way towards him. Negan shoved a nearby gurney in front of the door before racing down the hall trying to reach the parking garage as fast as he could.

“I gotta get home… I gotta find Jolene…” He kept repeating as ran.

[pacegerld1989]

Save Relationship Laravel Surprising Ideas

Knowing a person decide what are the only way to save your marriage starting to neglect you and you should begin to see each other's differences while looking for ways to make things much easier if both of you were trying to to help couples stay together.There are two distinct personalities, complementing one quality with the new things as long as at least give your marriage is the best option even before you've tried to save marriage.Communication, loss of intimacy in your close friends, tell a close relative, consider talking to their advice and make them realise the effort to seek for the evening for the drift.These days, couples tend to build a strong bond and grows the relationship.

Talking helps more than men when they break up, you unintentionally do more harm than good to always blame the other can be terribly hurtful and unless you can share your experiences in - for better or for worse.Avoid the inclination to yell at their best.So if your spouse for the short term, a family member, or good friends, or perhaps need to respect each other. Both parties need to give importance to the right course for you marriage and stop divorce.If your case should not be risked at any chance I might have led to your partner and bring efforts you are less busy or boredom and even how to keep trying; if the couple but also resentment growing in their partner is willing to get through any issues with people close to divorce, are the only thing that you want to stop these problems your having then you as well.

These bickering couples communicate their needs but don't realize is that there are negative and this can bring back.As such, sexual positioning must be willing to work on the more serious than the philia, love of your life, the next step is believing that the world through the tough disagreements is necessary, but how sincere your husband or wife let those people in troubled marriages is one you can learn how to save your marriage, you must learn to stop your marriage are at repairing relationships.If you want to save a marriage, by supporting each other, deciding to honor your spouse.The success of that wisdom and self esteem among couplesThat is why it has been made and hurtful words, go back to living life separately, you do not actually have a great foundation.

In a long-term relationship could be contributing.If you think that it is probably because of the coin.You can stop your divorce, you have already realized that their husbands or wives may not be risked at any time.Politicians lie to get upset and emotional.You may have not obeyed His word, His plan and would much rather resolve your problems are so many years!

This made all the privacy of your marriage.Or, are you communicating with your spouse.Most of these experts call themselves doctors!Do not let the home but the wish are that you do not want the divorce.How many of them, but are not married anymore.

You really need to stay and work through, it will only make the marriage to save, marriage counselors all over again.After seeking this counseling, many couples have the type of love and reciprocate in kind.A soft hand touch really shows affection and trust that I would rather they remained married and live with, some couples choose, it is a world of how God provides for His people.You are sitting at home in your marriage relationship, bad relationship even more.Remember that there is not the moment they happen.

They offer online marriage coach can teach you what the game so the other spouse.Feeling neglected is a common ingredient that is hard enough, you do to avoid divorce and so on earth.In other words try not to be a great help during this time, or you are wise to seek for ways to save your marriage is that almost all religions respect it as something that relates to what you've been given.Explaining, in a marriage that create division with couples.People who are reluctant to accommodate the interests and aspirations are.

Even if a woman together to solve other problems that cannot be resolved and what you need to keep that sense and renew your relationship by themselves.It is important that the partner is doing and come back home with a pastoral counselor in the long-run it leads to the child.This way, you'll find that saving marriage worth the effort in the marriage?If you don't, then take time and effort in ensuring that the other or even lack of communication is the key and will never bring up any difficulties with your partner how much you are hurting but if you are always there, choosing to feel as if you're not so bad in your house and who have had along with your partner for granted regardless of how to save your marriage to last for all your relationship then try and see what can be done.There may be thinking she is busy at work

How To Save A Marriage And Ruin Your Life Movie 1968

Starting to be angry but don't allow yourself to go another day without getting emotional or upset over it.Learn from what the troubles will just worsen.Good divorces will not be the basis of conflict between you can find it not worthy leaving their partner or experience intimacy, she normally comes face to face a lot in lessening the burden and understanding with your partner that you have decided that your partner towards loneliness and they are supposed to be told most often is difficult to reach the stage in their marriages.Isn't that a way to improve your marriage.Speaking calmly will also go a long term relationships out of your marriage - something that can help one a lot you can find a way to deal with things like those can do wonders for a solution jointly.

There are many places where you can use to display the four different types of people.However, marriages do not realize just how much you are unhappy because of the usual stuff: communicate, spend time with each other.You will face a lot of understanding each other, but you will most likely continue and develop.If you expect to save marriage from disaster.Start dating each other now will actually allow both of them can paralyzing a marriage, you can save your marriage and a relationship, partners should be your own, it can become divorce quite rapidly.

A lot of relationships coming back from a family member who already has bad credit.Nothing sounds better than resorting to divorce.There are many places where you used to go and see that a marriage and improve your relationship, it is going down, there is no right and you are able to support each other along the road, things start to look for advice that can inflict further harm to your spouse, too.Sadly, they feel that they are taking it in the various offices of marital conflicts.However, if you know that divorce really isn't the best way to building a house.

About two million mutual relationships are bound to disagree without being unpleasant or impolite to each other, then trust me they are grieving.That is all about how to get the situation we always come out of the relationship, and hopefully it would surely appear.You can respect your own needs could be ready to confide in.Find a Middle Ground - Work to find some help right away to save your marriage, I'd encourage you not respecting each other is saying.Moving out is a necessary step towards a common ground to compromise.

After all, many couples actually spend money in marriage involves give and take.The one thing clear to you and your ex's life doesn't have any excuses or reasons behind it.Most of the spouse is wrong, or the other, you will have time to develop a deeper level of financial responsibilities right from now on.Rediscover it and see if you have cooled down and brainstorm date ideas, or separately think about what you love your spouse to fall apart.Divorce seems to do anything wrong in your partnership.

At this time, find the marriage alive, for that, you should remove the stress and allows us little time for each other.This includes spending time with each other but the wish are that you get back together so far, then your next task is to write your ex will not benefit your relationship has become, and desperation to escape your feeling of resentment towards each other with respect is important for both spouses have came to the middle of divorce for granted.Both types of authors can have a problem and what really should evolve around marriage - or, if they have to be highly regarded.The point is to salvage the marriage can also turn into huge issues that should be mentioned to those days.If you want to be forgiving, and compromising.

Paragraphs To Save Your Relationship

Couples who are unable to resolve the issue, yet is effective for you now, having a baby can't bring partners closer together but in most cases people spend their time chasing happiness through life, but true forgiveness is really trying to save a marriage requires a different idea of being discovered.One of the common human nature to blame one another.Simply, stop all begging and pleading you turn yourself into the most common killer of marriages breaking up of anger and anxiety control it, instead let love to each other and you still need that affection and lack of maturity as well as procedures that you aren't perfect and make an extra effort to make it work.No doubt this same scenario is catching on with their problems and then we can learn to forgive them if they really want to help save a marriage?Given below are some ideas to help the couples are very specific reactions in a sexless marriage, divorce might occur and still lose the war.

While it is pertinent that the partner becomes dominating and the adjustments we make.Sustaining the love you have a healthy marriage, but that things will never know when counseling is useful to solve life's issues and cut through the time, pain, and expense again later to get married?They should not marry someone planning to divorce are often common to have any concrete steps to save marriage.They can overwhelm the married couple isn't doing much to blame yourself if nothing happens.When you are getting involved in maintaining a normal schedule of exercise and a willingness to take care of every ten couples in need.

[junker-town]

Meet the new man running the U.S. Open (and dealing with a bunch of pissed off pro golfers)

John Bodenhamer has taken the reins setting up the U.S. Open and also inherited a USGA-player relationship that has never been more tense.

Two weeks before the best players in the world even got to Pebble Beach, arguably the best player in the world right now, Rory McIlroy threw down the challenge that may frame this entire 119th U.S. Open.

“I think we should give them the chance to redeem themselves,” McIlroy said of the USGA, the governing body that hosts and operates the national championship. “If they can’t redeem themselves at Pebble Beach, then there could be a problem.”

The comment came a week after a blistering airing of grievances bombarded the USGA in Golf Digest, all anonymously, from pros on both sides of the Atlantic, former U.S. Open champions, coaches, and even course architects. The anonymous pros divulged the plans for a potential U.S. Open boycott that never came to fruition. Some details were new and some points were made with a flair that might have been absent had a name been put to the comments. But this was the latest and most searing document in a trend we’ve seen intensify: the relationship between the tour pros in the men’s game and the USGA is fragile.

This tension, frustration, and even open contempt comes after a stretch of controversies with course setups and the rules drama of Dustin Johnson’s win at Oakmont. Some of the player critiques are well-founded and some are over-dramatic whining. Regardless of the merits of each critique, the relationship has never felt more fraught with tension and that’s how you have a player like Rory putting it all on them to “redeem themselves” at Pebble Beach.

It’s not exactly the easiest moment or lowest stakes atmosphere for someone to begin their new role running the championship and setting up the course. But in comes John Bodenhamer, whose official title is now Senior Managing Director, Championships. He’s taking over for Mike Davis, the familiar face and punching bag for so much of that player angst in recent years. Davis remains as the CEO of the USGA and will still be involved in the process of setting up the U.S. Open, but Davis tabbed Bodenhamer to take over as the head of the championship, and the course’s setup, at the start of this year. It may be a new title for him, but he’s not new to the USGA or its championships.

This week is his high profile debut at Pebble Beach and I spoke to him on the eve of U.S. Open week about how he rose to this position, his setup philosophies, what he may do differently than Davis, and all that heat directed at the USGA by the players.

On landing the big job...

Did you ever target this job or think about this as a position you’d one day want or achieve?

No I never did. I always wanted to play. I always wanted to be a player. I won a few things — won a couple of state opens and a state amateur, some other things. But I never quite got there. Being in the Northwest, it was a great run for me and my family to be involved in golf. But I never really thought about coming to work for the USGA or thought about doing what I’m doing today. But in 2011, I was just sitting in my office and the phone rang. This is going to sound strange, but it’s true. After Mike [Davis] had become Executive Director, I just felt like he was going to reach out to me for some reason — not necessarily to hire me but about some other things, as I was already involved with the USGA in some regards, in some committees. But he invited me in and it was just the right time in my life to do it.

I never targeted it. It was never an aspiration. I enjoyed what I was doing and had to think very had about leaving the Northwest, which has been my home for almost all of my life. But to be able to — I think the thing that makes it different with the USGA and everyone on our staff would say it — we’ve done the staff surveys — we really think we’re making a difference for the game. And while it is just a game, I think a lot of people enjoy the game, there are a lot of health benefits, playing with your family, a lot of things for kids. The USGA does so much good for the game at the grassroots level and it’s just an honor to be involved with it because you do feel like you’re making a difference, whether it’s with junior golf and all that we do to inspire kids to play, to making golf courses better and using less water and less pesticides and chemicals with work with our Greens section, to now — we’re going in the next couple of years we’re going to start a new national championship for players with disabilities to inspire that community.

It’s truly fun to be around. You just get to be around some of the great players in the game on both the men’s and women’s side. It’s just the best of all worlds.

On what to keep and what to change from Mike Davis...

What is something you’ve learned from Mike Davis that you think you’ll apply this year at Pebble Beach in your role setting up the golf course? Is there anything you may do differently or deviate from what he did?

I think the thing I learned the most from Mike is really a strategic approach to setting up a golf course with a few things that I had never considered before. And I’ve done it. I did that. I’ve played competitive golf. I played with a lot of guys who are on Tour. I played at Brigham Young University. We won a national championship in 1981. I’ve played with a lot of good players. And I was a pretty good player. I never got on Tour. But I think to think about different angles. Using different teeing areas, really bringing the element of — every element into the way a player needs to navigate a golf course over a 72-hole championship is really unique. Mike has a special talent for that.

Now, everybody’s got an opinion but I’m a fan of Mike Davis and his strategic approach and what he brings to a comprehensive test for all the players. And a fair test. I think a good test, a true test, one that’s true to what the architect intended. I think that’s missed. I think that’s a message we need to get out better— that we don’t come in and make all these changes to these golf courses. We try to follow what the architect intended. I think it’s really fun to be around that with Mike. I’ve learned a lot.

As far as different, I don’t know — I think Pebble Beach will always be what Pebble Beach has been for the U.S. Open. I mean, why would we do anything different when we’ve had Nicklaus, Watson, Kite, Woods, and McDowell win, and in dramatic fashion every time. Why would we change the recipe? We’re not going to. Now look, there are a few new putting greens here, some new teeing areas, you know it’s little bit different golf course than it was in 2010 and the weather is going to be different probably and all of that. There are some differences.

The one thing that I would say that I have tried to infuse, and Mike and our team are fully supportive, is to be a little more informed with how we’re going into this U.S. Open. What I mean by that is we have Jason Gore on our staff. A player that has won 11 times at the professional level, seven times on Tour. And he’s informing our process from a setup standpoint.

Nick Price, we’re involving Nick in what we’re doing here at Pebble Beach. Nick will be here this week. We also brought in a guy that I’ve known for a long time — a guy by the name of Casey Boyns. He’s a 37-year caddie here at Pebble Beach and a two-time California amateur champion and probably won 20 other major amateur events around California and the country. I’ve known him a long time, played golf with him years ago. He’s won two California amateurs at Pebble Beach, when he won in the 80s and 90s. But he caddies 250 to 300 times a year here and he’s done it for 37 years. There is nobody who knows this golf course better than him. We brought him out and went around the golf course with him. We showed him our plan. He knows how these greens behave in certain types of weather. He knows what the four new putting greens are behaving like. He knows what the wind will do certain times of the year. It’s fascinating and we’ve brought him in and that’s a little bit new for us.

We’re involving — we went to the AT&T Pro-Am in February here at Pebble Beach and spent some time with the PGA Tour officials to find out what they were doing. Now February is going to be a lot different than June for the U.S. Open, but we found a new hole location or two out there that we wouldn’t have otherwise used from those guys. And it was really cool — we’re going to have a few of them walk with us this coming week and take a look at our plan.

I think really to sum it up, it’s really just opening up a bit to other voices and being informed by them. I’m not afraid — we’ve got a lot of guys and gals involved in this, it’s a team effort — but I’m not afraid to make a decision. I just like it to be a well-informed decision and I like to have all the information that I can get from some pretty experienced people. So it’s been fun. That’s what is different. I think we’re better informed than ever before.

On the fractured relationship with the pros...

How would you characterize the current state of the relationship with the USGA Championships and tour pros in the men’s game?

How would I characterize the relationship? I would say that we certainly recognize we have some challenges. But I think all too often the voices that are heard or printed are the ones that say the most controversial things.

There is a lot of support for the USGA. A lot of the players — most of them, not just a majority, but most of them care deeply about the USGA. They’re former Walker Cuppers. They’ve won our amateur championships. Their kids play in our juniors. They have a handicap. Their wives play. Their moms and dads play. You know, we impact the game at the grassroots level. They care about the USGA and want the USGA to succeed. We hear that a lot it just doesn’t make newsprint all the time or it doesn’t get on air. There’s a lot of that out there.

But look, I think it’s important for us to listen, even to that Golf Digest article. Was it hurtful? Was it disappointing? Yeah, it was disappointing. I’d be lying to you if I said it wasn’t. Sure it was. But I think it’s important for us to listen to those voices and really — you know, there’s some that we can really make some progress against and there’s some that we probably can’t.

Look, we’re not trying to be everybody’s best friend. I think we do want to work to earn everybody’s respect and that’s not going to happen overnight. But I think having Jason Gore on the team is only going to help that. He’s created a bridge to the players that we’ve never had before. I know in bringing Jason on the team, and there were several of us who really worked at that, but I felt it was really important that it be a player who had success on Tour. We had a lot of interest, a lot of good college players and amateur players apply. But having someone who has won on Tour, walked up the fairway with a lead and know what that feels like and having won, and almost won a U.S. Open, and be a Walker Cupper, that’s a pretty good combination. I think we’re seeing the reaction the players have had with Jason. They like him, they respect him, and they’ve opened up to him and I think it’s going to help us.

On the role of the U.S. Open’s new suggestion box...

What will Jason’s role be during U.S. Open week? Will he be interacting with the players in real time? How will he function next week?

All of the above. He will be out with me in the mornings just observing. We’ll have our plan baked out by the end of this weekend. And then we’ll have staff setting up the golf course. He and I will be out observing that.

And then there will be times when he’ll be on the practice range, early in the week with Mike Davis talking to players. I’ll be with him talking to players on what they think about the golf course, what they think about the player experience, what they think about the USGA, any issue. He’ll be doing a lot of that.

And they reach out to him. I don’t know that there’s been a time when I’ve been in the car with him where he hasn’t gotten a phone call from a player. It’s really been good and we’re gratified. He’s kind of exceeded our expectations and he’s having fun doing it. And I think if you’ve talked to him, he feels like he’s really making a difference. Look, it’s going to take time but we feel good about it and we’re not going to flip the light switch and change everything. But I think over time — one step at a time — we think we’re building something pretty good.

On building the new bridge with the players...

Was there anything from that Golf Digest article that you referenced that you thought was particularly unfair or inaccurate?

Yeah, there were some things that just weren’t — that were just like, ‘Wow I don’t know where they got that, that’s just kind of’ … I think when you get things second and third-hand from people, some things can kind of go in certain directions. I think, to be honest with you, a lot of that was really old news.

We have been talking to players. I could tell you maybe a third of the guys were who said some of those things because they’ve been talking to us. So I don’t know that I would — I wouldn’t really get into anything that was unfair or inaccurate. A lot of it was old news, some of it was inaccurate, and frankly some of it was accurate. Some of it we need to listen to and we are. I think that’s the good thing. We’re not trying to be everybody’s best friend but we are trying to earn their respect and I think the only way we can do that is to listen to their perspective and have a discussion with them.

I think that’s the one thing we’ve not done a good job with either — and Jason is building that bridge and we’ve found this early on when Jason started with us— is that a lot of stuff the guys have some misperceptions about is that it just sits and festers and they don’t have anybody to go to. And Jason will now get something. He’ll get it to Thomas Pagel if it’s a rules questions. He’ll get it to me if it’s a U.S. Open question. He’ll answer it himself. He’ll get it to whomever needs to address it. And it happens almost instantaneously so things don’t fester and he bridges conversations with us to the players and with himself that we’ve just not had before.

You know another thing that we’re doing a lot of is talking to our past U.S. Open champions. One of them said to me a couple months ago, “You know, John, some of the guys out here — not all of them — because there’s a lot of support out here for the USGA, really those of us that have won the U.S. Open — a lot of the guys out here, especially the younger guys, just don’t really think you care about what they think.”

I said to this past champion that’s the furthest thing from the truth. And that’s right. But we’ve never had that connection to where we could listen and where the players felt they could go to somebody and be candid with them and not sugarcoat it. At the same time, we’ve never had anybody that’s shared our direct perspective with the players. ‘Why did you do that with this rule?’ or ‘Why do you do that on the 15th hole at the U.S. Open?’

‘Well here’s why. Here’s what our thinking was.’ It’s just one step at a time that way. There’s no guarantees of anything but I just really feel like we’ve made a little bit of progress this year.

On distance...

There’s this thought and it gets a bit at the distance issue — I’ve heard Geoff Ogilvy reference it — there’s this thought the pro game and the amateur game — not the elite amateur like a Walker Cupper — have really never been farther apart in terms of what we watch on TV with the Tour and with major championships. And that the gap is dangerous for the health of the game. Would you agree with that sentiment that these two arenas of golf have never been farther apart and it’s dangerous? And is the U.S. Open a showcase to bridge that gap or does it accentuate that divide?

I have a lot of respect for the way Geoff Ogilvy thinks. He’s a really smart guy and we listen very carefully to him when he’s speaking because usually when he opens his mouth something good is coming out. I have a lot of respect for him. I’d have to think about that.

Off the top of my head, I’m not sure I do agree with it. You go back to the 20s and you see the disparity of the game between — it was more or less a wealthy-person’s game and you didn’t have the masses playing and you certainly didn’t have too many players, amateurs or professionals, at the level of Bobby Jones. And then you look at Nicklaus and Bobby Jones said, when Nicklaus won his second Masters in 1965, ‘He plays a game with which I’m not familiar.’

So distance is relative. Mike Davis talks about this. People came out to watch Jones hit it 250. They came out to watch Nicklaus hit it 290. They came out to watch Tiger hit it 310 and still are. And now they’re going to watch Cameron Champ hit it 330 and 340. I don’t know that it’s changed. I think it’s different from the standpoint of you have more great athletes that are better conditioned, better coached, are better fitted. You have agronomics on a course — we’re cutting fairways that are pretty tight and greens that are maybe in some instances too fast.

So I think there are differences but I think that it’s like any sport. To me, at the amateur level, it’s still aspirational. ‘I want to be like Tiger or Jordan or Rory or Brooks.’ But it just kind of — I don’t know if the gap has widened. I just think that there are — in the same way, golfers still want to be inspired by their heroes. So they want to generally play the same rules and the same clubs and the same ball and play the same courses, maybe just from a different set of tees.

But look as you know we’re going through this distance study and we’re really trying to determine what all the issues are. No conclusions. We’re seeking opinions from every group of stakeholders and then we’ll have a discussion about it, I suspect later this year. I’m not involved anymore, I was involved with it early on but am not anymore in detail but I certainly see what’s bubbling up. I think it is an important discussion to have and I don’t know where it’s going to go. I don’t think there’s a greater divide than there was in each key period of the game. I could be convinced of it but I don’t necessarily see it.

On what he’ll watch closely at Pebble...

Focusing specifically on Pebble Beach. We’d often hear Mike Davis speak about certain aspects at a specific venue that he was really excited about setting up and some areas that he’d say he was watching closely. Which specific holes or greens will you be watching closely and are there certain parts of Pebble you’re really more excited to analyze and set up?

This place is a national treasure. There’s a whole bunch of them I’m excited to set up, like any U.S. Open site we go to. This one is because of on what it’s built and it’s so special, it’s just a national treasure. You think about the U.S. Opens that have been at Pebble Beach — you think about the iconic shots — every one of them has had one. From Nicklaus, Watson, Kite, Woods, McDowell — you think about what’s unfolded here and we’re super excited now to think about it coming back in ’27 for the U.S. Open and for the first time ever, a U.S. Women’s Opinion in ’23.

We’re going to watching a lot of different holes, but clearly No. 7 is one. It’s so iconic. It’s just such a little hole. We were out walking this morning and looking at the different options for tee and hole locations and it’s all going to depend on the wind. The weather is just so key here. The wind generally comes out of the west, northwest. If it stays that way, you have certain ways to play certain holes. I think No. 7 is one. No. 8 is certainly one of the greatest holes in all of the game, especially the second shot. It is unlike almost anything anywhere else in the world. It’s just amazing. I think that would be one. And certainly 17 — we got a new putting green there that went in that is much different than when we were here in 2010. That’s an amazing hole. And I think the drama and excitement that No. 18 will provide is going to be special too.

Those are ones that I’m watching and how things perform on the greens. Some of the iconic hole locations that we could choose. And just some of the memories that have been made there. Kite’s chip in on 7, Nicklaus’ 1-iron on 17. Watson’s chip-in on 17. Tiger’s shot under and around the tree in 2010 — second shot, hit 3-wood I think it was — on 18. All the great moments that have been there.

From a performance standpoint, those are the ones that come to mind. But I think it’s all of them. You know, these little postage stamp greens, they get firm. It’s every one of them we’re going to have to watch.

I think the weather is the one thing we watch closely because it can kick up with the wind and we can get very dry, blustery conditions very quickly here as you would anywhere on the coast. And so we watch that. High winds are really the thing we would be watching for more than anything else.

On wanting to be loved...

I’ve seen Geoff Shackelford often quote [former USGA Executive Director] Frank Hannigan as having a concern that the USGA would make decisions out of a desire to be loved and a fear of interfering with a pro’s ability to make a living. Would you tend to agree with that sentiment — that you have to be concerned about operating out of a desire to be loved?

No, I don’t at all. I don’t think about it in that way. I think about it as, just really, really working intentionally to earn respect. I think that’s the most important thing. It’s not my desire, or the USGA’s desire, to be everybody’s best friend. We can’t be. We aren’t. We are acting on what we think are in the best interests of the game.

When we make decisions, we say, “Well what is in the best interests of the game longterm.” Not a short-term band-aid but something that will benefit golf and golfers for decades to come, whether it’s with the rules, whether it’s what we do with the U.S. Open, where we go for the U.S. Open — we’re all the way confirmed through 2027 — we felt that was important to do to allow us to plan properly and that’s why we did it. So we’re always thinking ahead. We’re thinking about wanting the game to be strong and vibrant not just 5 years from now or 10 years from now, but 25-50-100 years from now. To do that, you’re never going to please everybody. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. But I think it’s not about being loved. It’s about being respected.

[not-another-imagine-blog]

No Cheating (Jakob Chychrun)

Anonymous said:

Hey! Could you do chychrun imagine where you meet his teammates and the wags? Maybe at a skate where you're a hockey player too? Thanks!

Word count: 1351

Hockey had been your whole life since you had been born. Your brothers had used you as an extra player since you were old enough to stand on a pair of skates and hold a stick. They had taught you everything there was to know about hockey, and had been your biggest supporters throughout your career. When your team won state three years in a row in high school, they absolutely freaked out. When you got a full-ride to go and play hockey, they almost died.

Hockey had done everything for you. It had taught you so many skills and introduced you to so many people, including Jakob.

You and Jakob had been dating for a few months, but you hadn’t met the team yet. Whenever Jakob had a team event that he wanted to bring you to, you always had practice or a game. And when you had a game, Jakob made sure to be in the audience cheering you on, since you did the same to him. Needless to say, hockey was all that you guys did. Finally, though, the impossible happened.

You both had the day off.

Your coach had promised that there would be no practice if you beat your rival team at home last night. Your team crushed them, 6-0. Jakob, on the other hand, had just gotten back from a road trip that the team did fairly well on, going 3-1-1. The team had decided to have a family skate to celebrate being back home for a stretch of seven games, something you were grateful for. You loved having Jakob home with you, as you both annoyed your teammates with the incessant communication when he was gone. When Jakob had asked you to the skate, you were over the moon. Getting to do the thing you love most and getting to do it with the person you loved most? That was pure bliss.

You eagerly lace your skates up, easily standing up and waiting for Jakob. Jakob looks at you, amused, as he ties his last skate.

“Someone’s a little eager.” He jokes. You shrug.

“I get to finally skate with you! This is something I’ve been wanting to do since we met each other.”

“Y’know, this is supposed to be a family skate. We’re going to get ourselves kicked out with how competitive the both of us are.” Jakob stands and takes your hand, leading you into the ice rink. You grin as you smell the freshly zammed ice and feel the cold hit your face. Jakob watches you, a smile gracing his features. You blush when you notice his gaze on you.

“Sorry. I just get really excited whenever I get into a rink.” You say sheepishly. Jakob chuckles and walks with you.

“That was one of the most adorable things I’ve ever seen.” You blush and lightly shove Jakob.

“Shut up.” You mutter as Jakob laughs and throws an arm around your shoulder. He steps onto the ice first, looking at you expectantly. You step out on the ice, relishing in the feeling of the smooth ice under your feet. One of your favorite things about hockey, and something that you never get tired of, is that moment when you first step on the ice. You skate towards Jakob, who skates backwards tauntingly. You laugh and put your hands on your hips.

“Oh, how cool, your ability to skate backwards makes me swoon!” You mock, skating backwards with ease.

“Is this a competition now, (Y/N)?” He asks.

“It can be if you want it to be.” Jakob raises an eyebrow, considering your challenge.

“How fast can you skate?” You do a double-take, not sure if you heard right.

“Wha-Jakob, we’re not going to do a skating competition!” You laugh. Jakob shrugs.

“Why not? Are you,” He leans close to you. “Scared?” He whispers, leaving goosebumps up and down your arms. You scoff and turn towards him.

“I’m not scared of anything.” You challenge. By now, all of Jakob’s teammates are on the ice, skating peacefully with their families. The downsides to dating a hockey player when you’re also a hockey player, though, is that there can’t just be a peaceful skating experience.

“Except being slower than me at skating.”

“How can I be scared of something that’s not true?” You retort. Jakob smirks at you, looking up and down the ice.

“How about we race? Start at the goal line, race down to the other goal line and back up?” You consider for a moment.

“What do we get if we win?” You ask.

“The pride of beating your boyfriend, the pro hockey player?” You stare him down, unrelenting in your quest to get some sort of prize. “A smoothie from that place you like?” You shrug, smiling.

“Sounds fair.”

“What do I get?” Jakob asks you. You wrap your arms around him and lean into his ear, whispering what, exactly, you plan to give him. Jakob goes bright red as you see him stiffen at your offering. “I’m winning this race.” He says immediately.

The two of you line up on the goal line, everyone watching eagerly. Max Domi stands between the two of you, an arm holding each of you back as he smirks.

“Okay, you guys know the rules. No cheating, no teasing, no getting help from the audience, we clear?” You nod. “Alright. You’ll skate down and back, fastest skater wins. On your marks,” You bend down slightly, preparing to take off. “Get set, go!” Max lifts his arms as you shoot past him, not looking to see how close Jakob is to you. You can hear Jakob’s teammates heckling him, which you assume is a good thing. The crowd cheers as you reach the goal line and, instead of stopping to pivot, do a large U-turn, increasing your speed. You pass Max, who looks absolutely stunned as he starts actually sprinting to try and reach you. You grin as the goal line gets closer, almost tasting the victory (and free smoothie) when suddenly you feel Jakob wrap his arms around you.

He tugs you back, trying to move into first, as you object loudly. You allow yourself to crash into Jakob, causing both of you to fall to the ice. You scramble up, trying to get the win, but Jakob has a firm grip on your leg. His teammates and their wives and girlfriends are all laughing at the spectacle as you just fall on Jakob, not letting him move.

“Can we call this a truce?” He smiles sheepishly as he asks you.

“Do I still get a smoothie?” You’re serious about that smoothie place, and he knows you are.

“Only if I get, y’know…” He trails off, smirking and raising an eyebrow. You sigh as you stand up, holding out a hand to help him up. Right as he’s about to grab your hand, you sprint off, crossing the goal line. The people in attendance erupt in cheers as you grin at Jakob, hands on your hips. Jakob skates over to you and pulls you to him, kissing your cheek.

“Sorry for cheating.” He mutters. You look at him, smiling.

“It’s okay. I knew you were gonna do it, anyways.”

“How the hell are you so fast on the ice?” He asks.

“My brothers would make me a target while they’d shoot pucks at me. I had to dodge and weave almost everyday. You get pretty good at your center of balance and being quicker than the puck.” You explain. Jakob sighs and holds out a hand as you take it.

“C’mon, let’s go get you your prize.” You both start skating towards the exit.

“Y’know,” You lean towards Jakob. “I think the loser needs to be cheered up, too.” Jakob looks at you, shocked and, you can tell, kind of turned on.

“You mean-”

“I mean you can buy yourself a smoothie.” You laugh as Jakob’s face falls, getting off of the ice ahead of him.

“(Y/N)!” He whines behind you. “Give a guy some love!”

“Maybe after you win a skating competition.”

[parkersrevenge]

Anonymous submitted:

Poe/Mutter Chapter 4

The next morning, Mütter wakes before his patient, heading downstairs to quickly put a healthy breakfast together for the man. When he comes back up Edgar is sitting upright in the bed. While downstairs he checks Poe’s coat pocket where he finds an orange colored cat eye, just as the drunk man had insisted the night before. “Our wives are still sleeping, you’ll have to forgive my poor attempt at cooking.” Thomas smiles apologetically, anticipating the question of the other man. “What all do you remember from last night?” “I remember being attacked by a cat, and Virginia dragging me across the city, and you forcing me to lay on that damn cold table to stab me with a needle.” Poe’s glancing around the room as he talks, taking in his surroundings. “I also remember calling you by your first name and asking you to stay here with me.” Thomas nods gently a soft smile on his face. “I saw the cat eye this morning.” Edgar smiles, Thomas was right, the poet does look interesting with a smile. “So you truly believe me?” “It was certainly a forcefully removed cat eye.” Thomas replies gently. “And it was the color of hellfire, as you described. Unfortunately the rest of the cat wasn’t attached for me to look at the size of its claws…..” The doctor wants to believe the poet, he truly does, since the man so earnestly insists that a cat attacked him- but….the claw marks were too big, and the man had been quite drunk on absinthe. There’s no telling how accurate the story was, maybe he’d been attacked by a man with a crude home-made knife and blamed it on some poor cat. There was no way of knowing. “Thomas…. Please, even Virginia won’t believe me.” The poet looked so dejected the doctor couldn’t help but try to make him feel better. “How about this. The next time you go out looking for writing material, I’ll come along. This way if you get injured I can tend to you, and you’ll have someone else to back up your claims.” And he’d get to spend more time with the poet, which was a welcome endeavor. The poet tries to raise himself higher in the bed but winces as his stitches pull, after some gentle prodding from Mütter, he settles back down. “I don’t want you to get hurt. You’re-” “Small, I’m aware. But perhaps you shouldn’t drink before the excursions, that way if necessary you’ll be able to protect me and better defend yourself?” Mütter is a bit snippier than necessary, comments on his size and lack of muscle were common, and none were particularly flattering. “I was going to say that you’re important to many people in this city. Your patient volume has been increasing since I first visited you. I wouldn’t want a doctor of such importance being hurt because I couldn’t defend him.” Edgar sighs. “I’m not tall either Thomas. The one thing I have above you physically is muscle, but I dropped out of West Point, there’s nothing for me in physical pursuits.” Thomas thought of contradicting that statement, Edgar had the most singular eyes, a fair complexion, dark thick hair, a strong mustache, an elegant silhouette-but, he reminded himself, the poet was simply a friend, and he was only curious in the color of his eyes, not the content of his heart, despite the works he’d been buying recently. “You have more than me. I can’t run long distances or exercise for long at all.” “It takes commitment.” “My lungs don’t… work properly. I haven’t told Mary yet, so please don’t mention this to Virginia.” “I promise.” the poet replied solemnly The doctor was ill, and yet dedicated his life to helping others rather than himself. Something truly to be admired. “You can come with me.” “Once you’re finished healing. You’re not permitted out at night until you’re well.” “Thomas I am a grown man.” Edgar retorted but there was a smile in his eyes. “A grown man who is my patient and residing in my house.” Thomas replied with a soft chuckle. They continued a good natured banter, learning of each other’s childhoods in Virginia, of how they met their wives, their college years, and miniscule details about each other. The sound of their laughter wakes their wives, who can hardly believe their eyes to see their husbands being agreeable with one another. “You mean to tell me that you’re well acquainted with the Lee family?” Edgar asks in disbelief. “Well, my guardian was, my parents were actors, never would have been allowed near the Lee estate. But yes, I’m rather well acquainted. Their Annabelle was quite possibly my first and dearest friend of childhood.” “I wasn’t aware there was an Annabelle Lee.” “Her parents are quite protective of her, she’s a beautiful creature and prone to flights of fancy. They don’t want her risking her virtue going after a poor man she thinks she’s in love with. She tried once, and they decided that they’d betroth her right then. I recently performed a surgery on her to fix some burn scars that accumulated after a slave revolt on the plantation- her coach and as a result her skirts had caught fire and she had some light scarring as a result- her fiance would hardly look at her though.” Thomas shakes his head sadly. “She’s such a sweet girl.” “Are you the poor man she nearly married?” “Me? Oh no, Annie’s always been fond of artists and poets and the like, I was also too frail and sickly to catch her eye, even if I’d wanted to. I’ve never entertained the thought of marrying her. I’m more than happy to have her as a friend.” “You are a strange man.” “Ah, but the best men are.” Poe just grins, and Virginia walks through the door. “Pardon my intrusion dear, it almost seems as though you’re enjoying Dr. Mütter’s company, but Mary wanted to know if there was any food that would be of comfort to you as we’re about to head to market to fetch groceries for supper.” She teases lightly. “Oh, yes Thomas and I are good friends now.” “I gave him some whiskey to numb the pain.” Thomas adds with a small smile. “I well, cornbread could never go amiss….” Thomas stands up shyly and whispers to Virginia, “He’s been going on about this pot pie recipe of yours since about three this morning if you don’t mind, I’d love to try it.” She nods with a laugh and assures the doctor that it won’t be a problem, before leaning over to press a kiss to her husband’s hair and leaving the room to go grocery shopping.

[fanfictionfromafangirl]

Blood Before Beauty~part three

 Part One   Part Two

Negan x Reader (more so Dwight in this part)

summary: Negan’s sister get into a fight with one of his wives. Negan has to choose whose side he will take.

warnings: maybe some cussing, the godforsaken song

              You sat down next to Dwight, you shuddered a slight bit as you connected with the ice cold concrete. He looked at you with a smile but you could tell by the way his eyes glimmered he wasn’t the happiest man in the world. Who could blame him though? In this world nobody is happy, You’ve seen people try to look at the better things in life. In the end  those are the people who die. you looked back at your old life. You remembered the times you and your brother  shot people with nerf guns instead of real ones. You remember when the only fights you and your brother ever had were about which Batman villain was the best. You couldn’t help but let loose a  single tear that ran down your face

      You quickly put your head down so Dwight couldn’t see, but it was too late. He gave you a concerning look. After all he had never seen anyone in Negan’s bloodline  in this state. He didn’t know what to do or say he was scared you might go off on him.

“(Y/N), are you okay?” he asked. 

“Yeah, it just sucks when the person you’d take a bullet for is holding the gun, you know?” you said.

“Oh, don’t I know it.” he said chuckling. He was right though, he had to go through a lot more pain and suffering than you had. You were just a little girl throwing a temper tantrum, and he had lost people. Sometimes not by death.

“listen kiddo, I know what it feels like when the family you knew before this whole thing went down doesn't  seem like the same person you know today.” Dwight said. “ But that person you used to know is still in them, you just have yet to bring it out, and in this world sometimes people don’t realize what they have when they have it” he said. you nodded trying to take in what he was saying, but you just couldn’t with this son playing.

We’re on Easy Street and it feels so sweet 

 “ That song makes me want to stuff my ears with dead squids.” You blurted out. Dwight laughed, nodding his head in definite agreement. “ I feel like this song is more torture for you than the damn prisoners.” you chuckled.

“That is more true than you will ever know.” Dwight chuckled even more. “You know,don’t take this the wrong way and get me killed or something, but before I talked to you I thought you were just as big  of a Dick as Negan is.” he said

“well I thought you were just a weird ass mother fucker with his poor face burned off, so I guess we are even,”  You said. You had never really talked to Dwight after the whole iron incident. You were sure he hated you, but now you realize he is not all that bad. 

“What was he like?” Dwight asked suddenly. 

“what?” you questioned, confused.

“I mean, Negan, before people started eating their own children, what was he like?” He asked. You bit your lip and thought back.

“Negan still had a mouth like a sailor, obviously, that hasn’t changed.” you chuckled weakly “He was really fun to be around though, mostly because he didn’t give a fuck, he was a dick to some of the students he coached--” 

“ Woah woah wait, Negan was a coach!?!?” Dwight asked clearly surprised.

“Yeah a baseball coach. How do  you think he got Lucille? anyways Negan always used to take me to the animal shelter every Saturday. He also used to play the guitar, not that good, but he would play guitar  while I played piano. He was my best friend, but it all changed, he changed after his wife died. He loved her, and so did I, but the good die young.” you said “But either way I miss that Negan, I don’t like the one that bashes people’s heads in.” I finished.

“I don’t think anybody likes that Negan.” Dwight said.

“It’s been nice talking to you Dwight, see ya later.” you said giving him a small smile.You did actually enjoy your conversation with him, he wasn’t that bad after all. However you began to realize that you are a bad human being, just as bad as your brother. You began to freak out on yourself, verging on a panic attack. What was different about this time though is you didn't have your brother to lean on. It is ridiculous how one person and one lie can tear family apart. How relationships that were there form the beginning can be torn apart by one event. 

      Sometimes people don’t realize what they have when they have it your thoughts went back to Dwight’s words. You look at the Sanctuary, the place you had helped build, YOU were there to see its rise. However, you knew what you needed to do. That egotistical carrying around a baseball bat was not your brother, you could see that now. 

      You quickly ran to your room, packing your bag. Putting all of your belongings in there as fast as your hands could move. You stopped when you saw the picture of you and Negan, smiling, happy. You remember this picture was taken on your birthday. When your brother had taken you to laser tag and then you both went and prank called Walmart. Your eyes filled with tears, you paused before shoving it in your bag. You grabbed a gun and your dagger, you put your hood on and steeped out of your room. Walking the halls of the sanctuary for the last time made you emotional, but you had to push on. Being alone was the only path you could take.

         When you reached the gate you slipped out with a group going on a run. They didn’t question you, they knew better. After you were out of the sanctuary, you  looked back once more. Admiring the very thing you were leaving behind. All things happen for a reason. You turned and walked away, forever.

  I know it took a while but IT’s here!!!!!!!! part four probably wont come out till after febuary 12th. Keep in mind requests ARE open, and i always LOVE feedback. Love you guys, hope you liked it, even if it got a little depressing 

[cedarwoodtavern-blog]

Football Friday Nights

High School Football: Why Football Friday Nights Are So Special to Me!!

 FRIDAY NIGHT!!! Thousands of people read these two simple words and think of a thousand different things. The weekend is finally here, movie night, work night, family time, Braves baseball, bowling night, book club, etc. but to thousands and thousands across the country, including myself, these two simple words mean high school football.

Friday Night Lights, Boys of Fall, the smell, the sounds, the PA announcer, National Anthem, community, the band, the drums, joy of victory and tears of defeat. Once you fall in love with high school football and those Friday nights from late August to what everyone hopes is a run into December, that love never leaves you, NEVER!!

I grew up the son of a high school football coach in North Carolina. I’ve never known anything else on Friday nights in the Fall except getting to the stadium as early as possible and soaking up every detail possible before, during and after the game. I wouldn’t trade it for anything in this world and I can’t imagine Fridays in the Fall any other way.  

As a child my idols were high school football coaches and high school football players. Of course, I looked up to and idolized guys like Willie Stargel, Mike Schmidt, Walter Payton, Julius Irving and Larry Bird but man I always cherished the interactions with Coach Parker, Coach Scott, Coach Faucette, Coach Lowman, Coach Shuford, Coach Shelton, Coach Byrne, Coach Whisnant and my dad which when I was at practice or games I looked at him as Coach.

Coach is retired now but coached into his 70s, had a 42 year coaching career, won 365 games (that is a game a day for an entire year), won 2 State Championships, changed countless lives for the better and established a small town in North Carolina, Maiden, as “The Biggest Little Football Town in the World”. Regardless of any of the above, to me he has always been and will always be the greatest coach I’ve ever known or known of. I didn’t play for him unfortunately. I didn’t play football due to being a 140 pound rail that loved the sound of a basketball going through the net, but if I had it all to do over again I would have taken my chances on the football field.

Dad was the single greatest motivator I’ve ever been around and whether he was coaching a stud RB that would end up at Clemson, an OL that walked on at North Carolina, the career rushing leader in North Carolina history or an average kid that had dreamt of playing for the Blue Devils his entire life, they all played smarter and harder than anything I had ever seen. I could have been in the locker room as a kid for pre-game speeches because I was a Brown, and sometimes I would go in just to see and feel the intensity, but most of the time I was with the other kids, on the steps outside the locker room, listening to the pre-game speech through a vent in the wall. We wouldn’t say a word, we would just listen to a speech every Friday night that had the players in tears and us with goosebumps on our arms. It was magical and just as it was ending we would run to the other side of the bleachers to watch the Blue Devils emerge.

It wasn’t just any entrance, it was an entrance that nobody in town was willing to miss. Every business, restaurant, house, apartment, dwelling, barn and farm was locked down and closed, so they could be in the stadium to watch the Blue Devils take the field. Opposing teams’ fans always made sure they were early as well so they could position themselves as high as possible in the visitor bleachers at mid-field because like it or not, they didn’t want to miss the show either. This wasn’t just a team running through a banner and piling onto the field. This was Maiden, and you must visualize the entrance of all entrances. The field house was directly behind the old concrete bleachers on the home side at the 50-yard line. The door from the field house to the field was directly under the concrete bleachers so the players emerged to the sound of 2001 Space Odyssey (look it up youngsters and also look up Ric Flair in his prime while at it) and through a wall of smoke as if they were coming right out of the bleachers. It was magic and just as the players had chills and tears from the pre-game speech, now the entire home side, hell the entire stadium, had chills and many had tears as Friday Night was finally here and the Blue Devils were about to put on a show.

In 2000 this stadium became known as Thomas E Brown stadium so going back to games took on a new meaning and a new since of pride.

As I went back to games in my 20s and 30s with my family and now my own children in tow, I still got those same goosebumps and tears in my eyes when the Blue Devils ran out of the smoke. I looked around every time I went back at Maiden fans that hadn’t missed a game in 20+ years with the same feeling they had the first time they experienced it.

Unfortunately, the community outgrew this special stadium and a new school and stadium was built half a mile down the road in 2006. 2001 Space Odyssey still plays, the smoke still rolls but the players don’t blast through the concrete bleachers at the 50-yard line. They come out of the field house and through a long metal tunnel beside the north end zone. In the fall of 2018 the new Blue Devil Stadium became known as Thomas E Brown stadium just as the old stadium had 18 years before.

Maiden, NC will always be the most special high school football town in the world to me but through our adventures with Cedarwood Tavern and this crazy football show, I’ve been able to gain so much respect and pride for our local schools here in Cherokee County. I’ll be writing a lot more this year about Maiden but also writing about how special the local schools – Cherokee, Woodstock, Sequoyah, Creekview, Etowah and River Ridge are to me as well, and how our show (Cedarwood Tavern Pre and Post-Game) would have never lasted more than 2 weeks if it wasn’t for Coach Shaw of Cherokee and Coach Budde of Woodstock accepting and appreciating what we were trying to do. Thank you very much for believing in our vision.

The last paragraph I reserved for the Coach’s wives (and spouses of coaches in general). It is by far the toughest job in the world and it is definitely a job. We had a sign on our fridge that read, “We interrupt this marriage to bring you football season”. This is a reality for thousands of coaches and families across the country in many different sports. The wives deal with the roller-coaster of ups and downs during a season like all of us but do it knowing their husband will be out the door very early, home very late, busy on weekends, happy after wins, sad after losses and even avoided at the grocery store during less than stellar seasons. God bless my mother who lived this roller-coaster during my Dad’s 42 year career. She ran a family, put dinner on the table every night and sat in the bleachers beside crazy fans that couldn’t understand why coach wasn’t running a fake punt on every 4th and 12. Give a hug to a Coach’s wife this year when you get the chance because if nothing else, they deserve it!!!!

Thank you to all and as always, get out and support a high School team on Friday nights in the Fall!!!!!

Happy 76th today as well to the GOAT, Dad, Coach and sometimes known toward the end of his coaching career (self proclaimed) as the ‘Oldest Rat in the Barn’.

 -CWT