#and i feel like the way im describing it sounds transphobic but its not there is 0 drama about him being a man

[marklikely]

ok sorry i have to ask what’s with everyone saying gabriel the villain from malignant 2021 is trans. is he just that based

its hard to explain what exactly gabriel is but hes like. a conjoined twin brother / evil growth? on the female protagonist's brain and he only exists by possessing her body so since he's a male character in a female body hes kind of sort of (but also kind of not) canon trans

[transonlyspace]

is it weird that I don't get gender dysphoria... nor euphoria? like, I'm not excited when someone calls me by my current name, it just feels like they're doing the bare minimum, and that they're taking me away from my past (which is good dw). it feels like either: 1. I'm numb to the pain because personal reasons and i hate myself 2. I'm faking it 3. it's just that I'm whack and lethargic, deep down.

also kinda unrelated but related but like I'm not into trans spaces. i don't like being called trans slang, I don't feel like I'm "queer" at all, and I don't like reclaiming slurs. if i DID reclaim a slur it'd me because someone i love told me to. my feelings are best described like this:

i am so so SO sorry if my wording sounded transphobic, ita just me being weird. it's the only way i can describe it without going on "uhh uhm uhhhh" mode.

this also happens with the way my brain behaves (idk if it's neurodivergence and i just want to use ambiguous wording so that i don't get it wrong because i haven't gotten a diagnosis as for now) and while i feel like i have some sort of neurodivergence idk i just don't relate to neurodivergent stuff.

is my rambling weird or do you have an answer to it /nm

i kinda relate tbh!! i dont feel much gender euphoria nor dysphoria, but i know im not cis. im just.. something. a being that is genderful (lmao) and genderless at the same time, though our experiences differ a lot apart from that.

obviously, to each their own. everyone has different gender experiences, theres nothing wrong with wanting to go to majority cis spaces. that itself can be characterized as a form of gender euphoria, methinks.

the problem may be that trans spaces focus on transness. now im not sure what gender identity you prefer; you dont have a pinned post, but imo theres nothing wrong with being trans and just not feeling trans at the same time, iygwim

trans spaces exist due to oppresion. some trans people might not feel "trans" in way. just some person who differs from the gender they were born as. despite that being what trans is, its totally respectable!

[neverchecking]

hey uh. Im sure no one meant any harm by it. But the term "genderbent" is really transphobic in origin, and it feels a little alienating that a masc reader in an ask was labelled as such. I'm transmasc, so its a bit worrying, especially with the sudden influx of severely transphobic and homophobic rhetoric thats been getting spread through the LU fandom. I really dont want this to come off accusatory, nothing like that. I was just hoping maybe you could possibly do or say something to make sure that theres less occurrences of that? Im not quite sure how to word this without sounding rude, it just startled me a little, and plus there tends to be very little masc reader representation on these NSFW lu blogs, so itd be comforting if the rep we do get isnt. a bit transphobic. I really hope this didnt come off rude

No, not rude at all! Thank you for letting me know! I promise I, and I'm sure the rest of us, didn't mean any harm. I try to use they/them as often as I can, but even I slip up, so for that I apologize. I never want to make anyone uncomfortable with my writing at all and I'm so sorry if you felt that way all all. This is meant to be a welcoming space for all.

I'm sure we can work together to figure out a better way to word it in the future! I think we mostly used genderbent as a blanket term because a majority (I think) are fem presenting. As it is, I unfortunately, can't come up with another way to describe it right now, but I promise I'll try to think of something.

Thank you so much for letting me know anyway anon, and again I'm so sorry for coming off as transphobic in anyway. That was never my attention. I know when I have my they/them days and get called she/her, it can be really disorienting for me.

On a slight side note, there's an influx of transphobia? Did something happen at all that I just...haven't been caught up with? /gen

[aroaceconfessions]

hello, i honestly just started rambling a little about my experience with asexuality, ill probably make a separate ask for aromanticism, so ill just put this emoji 🦋 so you know this is me

i already knew i identified kinda with the term asexuality, at least i thought that maybe i was in the spectrum and for a long time I thought that maybe i wasn't actually asexual. im "pretty young", im 16, and also people kept telling me how i didn't feel sexual attraction because i was too young, that was years ago and i still feel the same way.

ive been saying im gray asexual online and with my friends for maybe almost a year, i thought for many years that maybe i wasn't asexual because i do masturbate, i do like the idea of at one point have sex, i still get a little grossed out by it when its not me joking around with my friends or just a drawing of it. "Maybe i am wrong and one day I'll experience sexual attraction"

ive realized that i do experience some sexual attraction, but mostly for fictional characters and very rarely some real people, like celebrities.

i also thought that maybe i wasn't asexual because "oh well maybe i just don't let myself experience sexual attraction because im scared of sex", yeah, it sounds a bit stupid since i do want to do it, but honestly all fears are.

i think i first heard of the term asexual when i was 13 (maybe, i dont really remember), it was in a Spanish (spain) youtube channel, i remember i identified a little bit with what she was describing, but then i started thinking "oh maybe its the age".

i think my dad has realized that i identify with asexuality, but i also think he's just speculating since im scared of coming out, and i once explained the tern to my mom but she did say that she finds the idea ridiculous and i think im the most scared of telling her about it. its not that she'll stop loving me, i know she won't, its just that she has told me multiple times that she is homophobic and transphobic (im nonbinary). shes not homophobic in the way of being aggressive, but in the way of like talking shit about it as if all of that is illogical.

[bi-lesbian]

Hello! I was going through your explanation tag which I found super helpful for a lot of things!!

I really don't want to seem mean so I didn't know who to ask but you seem super nice, so I was curious, if you feel okay with answering: how does being trans fit into being gay/lesbian relationship?

Like, if a person is sexually attracted to someone of their own sex, how can they have a trans partner?

I hope this ask sounds respectful and doesn't come off as anti-trans!! I really want to understand this more :)

do you mean like, a lesbian dating a trans woman/gay man dating a trans man? gay/lesbian are about attraction to someone of a particular gender, not attraction based on what theyre assigned at birth. attraction based on sex, rather than gender, is usually the definition used by transphobes who dont see trans people as the gender they are and misgender them. its possible to be repulsed/disinterested to certain genitalia if youre pursuing sexual relations, but that wouldnt rule out all trans people of the gender you like since they can have whatever kind of genitalia due to surgery, maybe being intersex, or the like.

however, if you mean a lesbian dating a trans man/a gay man dating a trans woman, then its coming more down into more complex gender/sexuality stuff. theres some people who have the occasional exception to their sexuality, or are fluid/flexible, and just use a term that describes what most of their sexuality is, for whatever reasons they may have to do so (for comfort, specifics, ease, etc).

theres also sometimes where someone is dating a partner who self discovers more in that time, and comes out as trans to them. they still love their partner despite them now being a gender theyre usually not into, likely bc the attraction they feel now isnt really related to their gender anymore, so their partner is now a unique exception to their sexuality! there could be more ways this sort of relationship could happen, these are just the main ones i know!

im glad to hear youre wanting to learn and understand more, it can be kinda hard to do so sometimes since its a touchy subject and a lot of people arent trying to genuinely learn, so i hope this helps!

[wearequeer-andwearehere]

is it normal finding certain genders sexually, aesthetically, and emotionally attractive but not romantically attractive?? like i prefer how women, women aligned ppl, and ppl who present themselves in a feminine way look. i also feel like i can connect better to women bc im afab and still deal with all the shit that comes with being a woman in our society which is part of the reason im just more emotionally attracted to them. but when it comes to romance its different.

im aegoromantic in the way that i love the intimacy and warmth that comes with romance but i dont really feel romantic attraction that much irl and feel disconnected from the idea of myself being in a romantic relationship. however, i do daydream with romantic themes sometimes and by default its with a man. i can only really see myself with a man (romantically) and i know its not exactly comphet. although im leaning a bit more towards men in the romantic attraction department im also not really sexually attracted to them that much? i find the idea of sex hot but i cant see myself being involved in it? i think i might also be aegosexual (is that the right ace spec equivalent?) but idk, im a bit scared to explore that part of my identity. i've only just come to terms with the fact that im not cis so i dont think i can deal w finding a new facet to my identity quite yet haha.

im sorry for the really long ask i was just bottling these feelings for a long time and didn't want to make my feelings ur problem. im glad to receive any kind of help from you, ryan. thanks so much for guiding us.

Heya mate :D

And yeah, that’s pretty normal! The split attraction model does exist so you can have different types of attraction so ye

Hmm yeah, sounds like you‘re most likely sapphic or maybe lesbian or trixic in terms of aesthetic and emotional attraction!

Tbh if I were you I’d try to think a bit more about whether you‘re romantically attracted to men or whether it’s comphet. I’m not saying that your feelings aren’t valid, it’s entirely possible you could be romantically attracted to men and aesthetically attracted to women, but just....give it some thought, I’d say

You could be sapphic/lesbian in aesthetic/emotional attraction and heteroromantic in terms of romantic attraction! You could also just use bi/pan as an umbrella term :D 

Yes, aegosexual is the right word!

Aegosexual (click for link to wiki page) is a micro-label on the asexual spectrum that describes those who have a disconnection between themself and the subject of arousal. Aegosexuals may have sexual fantasies, view porn and other sexual content, or masturbate, but they generally feel little to no sexual attraction and typically do not desire to have sex with another individual. 

Hey hey hey!! It’s totally okay my friend!! You’re allowed to explore these parts of your identity!

It’s totally okay to not be cishet!! I know questioning can be scary, it can be scary finding out you’re not the sexuality/gender you thought you were, it can be scary knowing you’re in a homophobic and transphobic world, but you’re gonna be okay. When I was first questioning being bi and trans, I was hella scared, but it’s going to be okay. You’ll figure it out, or maybe you won’t! Either is valid! And even if it can be scary out there, the queer community will always love and support you. We’ve got you, friend <3

Hope I could help you out, and I wish you luck with questioning. Lmk if you have any more questions, and have a great day/night :D

[criticalrolo]

IDK if you want to actually talk about this more, but my sister identifies as a Bi Lesbian, and the way she describes it is that she is attracted to women and nonbinary people. I think saying that bi people HAVE to be attracted to men is off-base and ignores the nonbinary part of "more than one gender" - and as soon as you include nb people it is no longer mutually exclusive. ALSO fuck terfs getting to take an id away from people cause theyre shitty, I respect the people who id as that more 1/3

2/3 Of course Bi and Lesbians are full identities, but if people find a label like Bi Lesbian useful, not as a watering down but as a way to speak their truth, then I think it should be respected. It doesn't have to be a scale - maybe if anything a modifier? And it certainly doesn't make Bi or Lesbian less of an identity than the split attraction model makes Ace less of a thing. IDK I'd just rather be extremely inclusive over saying that an ID is bad. IDK about the Bipoc tho as Im white

3/3 one final aside, is I've seen it described as an easy way to explain that they are into multiple genders but not into men. And I think if its useful and easily understood, a useful shorthand, then let people use it. Fuck anyone (esp terfs) who apply it to other people, but I think we dont have to conflate all the ways people are awful to queer people with an Identity itself being fucked up. Anyway sorry to ramble right back, and I hope you have a nice night and Ill see you in the cr tag lol

Hey there! So, to address your points, I do want to say first of all that I totally find it admirable that, given the option, you’d rather stray towards overly inclusive as opposed to Not Inclusive Enough. I totally agree with that sentiment, and think that you’re absolutely coming at this from a good angle.

The things I find difficult about the “bi lesbian” label kind of come from your second ask mainly. So the thing is, all sexualities can potentially include nonbinary people. “Nonbinary” is not a separate Third Gender Option, it’s an enormous array of different identities. People can be nonbinary but man or woman-aligned, completely agender, all the genders at once, etc. etc. etc.... basically the format that you’re thinking of conforms the nonbinary experience into an all encompassing “third gender” when in fact it’s a broad spectrum of experiences and identities that can be extremely similar or dissimilar. 

Because yeah... there are nb lesbians out there. Who are attracted to women, and other nb lesbian/bisexual people who identify with being sapphic or wlw. You’re actually talking to one right now ;) My experience with gender is All Over The Place and I’m not very good at defining it right now, but I definitely identify very strongly as a lesbian who is attracted to women/women-aligned people. Gender Is Lesbian for me personally right now lol

The issue comes when, as you said, you start to use “lesbian” as a modifying term. It’s not a modifier. It’s a full term that exclusively means women who are not attracted to men. I know you bring up the split attraction model here, but I’ve found that that is WAY more useful for asexual identities without getting into some of the sticky areas like this one where IDing as something actually is harmful/doesn’t make sense. I know that the term “exclusive” does bring up some bad associations but in this case, that’s because we have terms for people who experience attraction to Women/NB people who ID as sapphic (basically ur NB lesbians/people comfy with calling themselves NB bisexual women) and for people who identify as being attracted to men and women (and man-aligned etc. etc.)

LIke, see how long those descriptions got once I started including some of the many, MANY different experiences of being nonbinary...? Basically there’s just no single way to define Every Nonbinary Person for Every Single Sexuality since it’s such a broad spectrum of experience, which is why a lot of sexualities might sound pretty binary (like defining lesbian as Woman Who Loves Only Women) but in fact is because there’s no way to include every single nonbinary experience and categorize them into a neat little box, you know? 

So from there, you’ve gotta ALSO consider the points I made earlier about how the identity of “bisexual lesbian” also comes across as lesbophobic, biphobic, and transphobic in ways that harm all of those identities instead of bringing them together. Like, obviously your sister is a Valid Human Being, and it feels weird to be saying an identity is NOT valid... but like. Forcing two mutually exclusive identities together (one that explicitly does not include men and one that does) just ends up hurting the people who ID with those identities in the long run, like how I outlined in my other post. Essentially, it takes away from the overall meaning of What It Means To Be A Lesbian and What It Means To Be Bisexual by trying to force the two of them together. They’re different experiences, and that’s something to be celebrated and something to find commonalities over while discussing our differences instead of trying to mash them together, you know? Like there’s a reason why they became defined as separate identities in the first place.

Anyway, this is probably too long but I hope you can see where I’m coming from here. I’m obviously not going to tell your sister How To Identify, but there’s my thoughts some points you might want to consider showing her while she’s figuring out her identity, you know? So yeah, that’s all I’ve got. Hope you have a good day, and get hyped for the CR episode tonight!! <3

[kinkymagnus]

Hi! Love your stories!! <3

I just wanna start with I am not transphobic (I know it sounds cliche...) but I am just curious about fanfic authors who write Magnus as trans.

Most of the time I shy away from trans!Magnus fics because for me its hard to picture it when he is male and when I try to read a fic I will get thrown off once I read sex scenes. I love your stories of sub!Magnus (let's be real there is no other kind <3).

I am always afraid to ask (hence the anon ask) cause most of the time anyone who loves trans!Magnus will get really defensive and start getting really mean when it's a general question or opinion and I just wanted to get your take on it.

hm ok. well. i really don’t love the wording of this question. but i like to try and take questions like this that i think are more borne of ignorance than malice and like, engage with them. i don’t think i’m morally obligated to, though, and people you may have said something like this to and reacted negatively, well, i don’t blame them at all. i’m not exactly feeling sunshine and roses about it, either. 

under the cut bc this is long

first: starting with “i’m not transphobic, but--” isn’t cliche, it’s a sign of someone knowing they’re about to say something transphobic. or trying to excuse themselves and distance themselves from any blame. and so on. it’s not like “oh everyone says that” it’s “i read that and immediately know i’m about to put up with some bullSHIT.” like, the fact you put that little disclaimer there means you KNOW IT NEEDS ONE. 

second: “it is hard to picture if when he is male” hm. ok. so. right here you’re assuming trans men =/= male. magnus having a vagina = not man. that’s very much being transphobic.

but let’s give the benefit of the doubt. let’s say you didn’t mean it like that. you might be confused just because you’re so used to cis male magnus, it feels off when someone suddenly describes something that doesn’t fit what you’re used to. it’s like when i read a fic and it mentions magnus’s dick or whatever, and i’m always surprised, and find it hard to picture, because at this point, i’m so used to trans magnus that way i write it. or it might be even something like... 

ok, here’s a weirdly specific example. i read the alex rider books as a kid, and there’s a character who is described as white and red-headed. in the recent tv adaptation, she’s a black woman with long dark curls. i’ve never been good at imagining characters in my head when its just books, so the imagery i’ve attached to this character is the tv show version of her. so now, if i go back and reread the books or read fanfiction for alex rider, every time they mention her red hair or something that makes it clear she’s not black, i’m a little startled, before i remember, oh yeah, originally, she was a redheaded white chick.

so let’s say that’s more the feeling you’re getting: you’re so used to cis magnus, seeing trans magnus is a little moment of surprise. 

........so what?

your options here are:

don’t read it and be quiet if it bothers you so much

keep reading and deal with the surprise i mean is it really that bad to have a momentary “oh yeah lol” moment? and you might even stop being surprised eventually if you get used to it lmao

i don’t think it’s a big deal to be a bit thrown off when you remember that this person’s version of magnus doesn’t have a dick or whatever. but that’s kind of something to keep to yourself. read it or don’t, but there’s nothing wrong with it. it’s not weird, it doesn’t make magnus less male, and if you don’t like it, don’t read it.  

also, you say “i’m afraid to ask” but come to think of it, you haven’t actually.... asked a question. just “like your fics. im not transphobic BUT... trans magnus is weird because i can forget he’s supposed to be trans until the sex scenes, and then it throws me off because he’s supposed to be Male. it’s weird. i love sub magnus. i’m afraid to ask because trans magnus fans are mean and defensive when you say lightly transphobic things. what’s your take?” 

i mean, is the question the whole “i’m curious about fic authors wrote magnus as trans”? like, what about us? most of us are trans and we love magnus???? idk what you want to know buddy? why people would EVER headcanon magnus as not cis? like, there are lots of reasons for that one being he literally could not possibly be our definition of the western cis male given that he was born like 4+ centuries ago on an entirely different continent . like, really, if you want to know why we headcanon him as trans i’m sure you could read through our blogs and find a bunch of shit 

and anyway it’s like, ok, 1. trans magnus isn’t just about the sex, but that’s a lesser issue.

2. again, no question being asked here beyond a general “what’s your take on this” (this being....”trans magnus weird”? or “trans magnus fic authors...thots?”?)

3. finally to get tho the last part of hmm yikes wording is the “anyone who loves trans!Magnus will get really defensive and start getting really mean”. the word choice here sure does say a lot. 

“defensive” and “mean”. if you’re going up to them and saying “trans magnus confuses me during sex scenes because he’s male!” then yeah, people might get a little upset. and defensive? either a) implies you’re on the offensive, or b) implies they’re like, guilty somehow, they’re being defensive and cagey. 

like, coming out with some casual transphobia or whatever and then playing the victim when people are offended and react....not cool

and just... look. calling someone out for being transphobic isn’t being mean or a bully. and no one’s saying you have to like trans magnus, no one’s holding a gun to your head and making you read our posts and fics. but if you’re going to read our posts and fics, don’t be a dick about it. 

and genuinely, like, i know i’ve focused on the bad here, but like, thank you, i’m glad you like my stories, and hell yeah sub magnus rights. and i don’t think you’re like a bad person or someone trying to be malicious and hateful or something, but like.... my dude PLEASE think about this shit and how you’re wording things like. jesus 

i think the highlights here are 

yes trans man = man

man with vagina = still a man

trans magnus having sex via a cis man’s penis in his vagina = gay sex between two males

people might get defensive or “mean” if you say things to them that are kinda transphobic and that’s understandable. they aren’t aggressors or your enemies for reacting like this.

no one is forcing you to like or read trans magnus content, it’s okay if you don’t, but if so just don’t, you don’t gotta say anything just don’t read it 

there are lots of reasons someone might headcanon magnus as trans 

and headcanoning him as trans isn’t weird, gross, or wrong in any way

honestly headcanoning him as cis makes less sense but that’s another talk

also saying “im not transphobic but--” doesn’t absolve you of any transphobia following it 

[voxofthevoid]

Hii. Can i share an irrelevant yet interesting thing i observed? On twitter, mcu stans and writers & artists are segregated bc they mostly clash. Anyway, lots of stans see steve as bottom sometimes to the point of feminization, while for writers its the other way around-they do it w/ bucky. I have no problem either way but I'm just wondering why that is. Any thots? Feel free to ignore this hahaha its stupid but im really curious

Shit. Just realized how my ask abt the twitter stans + writers sounded. The clash has nothing to do w/ sex positions btw. Mostly mcu twt criticizes the "problematic content" & "fetishization". The most recent one I can think of is bucky being drawn in feminine clothes. Which is weird bc the way they talk about steve isnt different? Im just confused why theyre against bucky being seen that way. Sorry for bothering u!! Just wanted to clear that up. Pls ignore 😭 

---

Hi, anon! It’s not a stupid question at all, I understand the confusion about some fandom behaviors. Gods know I’ve got it too. I do have thoughts (and also thots but the pandemic has separated me from them).

So disclaimer: I avoid twitter like the plague, so I’m going by only what you've described, which is that there are two groups who don’t get along and both display the same behavior but one thinks the other is problematic for that behavior.

Now, this specific instance might be alien to me but the general gist of it is sadly very familiar.

(Also, I’m gonna be using ‘you’ in the general sense a lot in this. I’m not accusing you of anything described here, nonnie)

First of all, whenever fandom discussions segue into accusations of "problematic content" and "fetishization", you can stop unpacking and throw away the whole damn suitcase. In this particular case, if one side is saying that feminizing Bucky is fetishizing (how the fuckst even) while they themselves feminize Steve, then they’re hypocrites who’re clearly far less subtle about their double standards than most people who engage in this sort of wank.

As for why they act this way - from what I’ve generally observed, there’s a trend in fandom where it’s no longer enough to simply like or dislike something. You have to do it for woke reasons and moreover, you have to go out of your way to convince other people to also like/dislike it. This is baffling to me. I understand finding fandom friends who share your tastes. Common ground is fun, even - especially - for venting/bitching purposes. But those who go “my way or the highway” for all of fandom make zero sense. Not everyone will agree with your character interpretations and your ships and your likes and your dislikes. We’re all different people looking for different things from fandom.

For the most part, this is an implicit understanding in fan interactions, but for a while, things have been changing. There’s a lot of performative vitriol from certain sects of fans. Quite a few people act like your tastes in fiction define you as a person.

No. It doesn’t. If you hate Natasha, you’re not a misogynist. If you think Stucky is boring, you’re not a homophobe.

And to use the example you cited, drawing Bucky in feminine clothes doesn’t make you a fetishizer or a transphobe or whatever hot-button word people like to throw around when men are drawn in feminine ways. Drawing Steve that way also doesn’t make you any of these things.

But for a lot of folks, it’s not enough to simply say “yeah, I hate Bucky in a dress but I love Steve in one.” You have to do mental gymnastics to show why Bucky in a dress is fetishizing (once again, fetishizing  what) while Steve in a dress is a-okay. It doesn’t make much sense, as evidenced by your confusion, anon.

I got a little sidetracked but yeah, sounds like that's why what you’re describing happens. Basically, individual tastes are complex and can’t always be easily explained, but toxic fandom pockets have it made it so that these tastes can’t be expressed unless they’re accompanied by the ‘right reasons.’

That’s my two cents at least. Hope it helped? Feel free to drop by again if you wanna ask anything else <3

[afroggyfrog]

SuperStraight

A brand new sexuality that is trending on twitter and being super popular.

Definition:

A superstraight person is someone attracted to members of the opposite gender who are not transexual.

This was created as a response to people who sometimes say things like this:

(source:BBC)

Let’s give a name to the people who insist that not being attracted to trans people makes you transphobic, since I’m not about to describe them every time i wanna bring them up, I’ll call them trans-incels because just like incels they resent people for not wanting to have sex with them.

It’s worth it to remember that trans-incels aren’t representative of all trans people. or even of a majority of them, if i were to bet, they are about as popular as actual incels.

In all the comment sections I checked the anti trans-incel side was a clear majority, and having searched for “superstraight” on youtube to see what people have to say, the first video on the list, from a trans man, is definetely anti trans-incel .

> If you don’t want to date a trans person that’s fine, and if somebody is trying to force you they’re just an asshole

-probably most trans people

From the perspective of a trans-incel (and how we’re all assuming too much)

Imagine a person.

Imagine the probability that they are racist.

Imagine that same person saying “i wouldn’t date a black person”

Has the probability increased at all? be honest, it hasn’t gone up to 100% (which would be the race-incel response) but it must have gone up by at least a little.

But why did it go up by a little? Because now the chance they’ll say something like “because blacks disgust me” has also gone up.

Now imagine being into internet drama (ew) and as a trans person, you’re especially interested in people being transphobic and you probably see transphobia every day because people like talking about it as much as anti-sjw(tm) people like to talk about the trans-incels.

If discussions about trans people only gets to you when it causes drama you’ll probably never see “i wouldn’t date trans men/women...” without having it be followed by “...because they’re not real men/women”.

And even though the whole point of being superstraight is to explain why people wouldn’t date trans men/women without calling them ‘not real men/women’ lets see what the original guy who started the whole superstraight meme has to say at second 15.

https://youtu.be/z8vQhkPnEE4

It’s like instead of throwing bait, they’re just throwing food.

The more you see “...because they’re not real men/women” the more likely you are to expect it, and as someone who subscribes to people posting drama 24/7 you’ll see that hundreds of times until you end up answering ...

the probability that the person who says ‘i wouldn’t date trans men/women’ to be transphobic is 100%

...and even if they don’t follow up with something transphobic it’s always easier to imagine they’re just hiding it rather than to change your whole worldview on the spot.

And if you think “why do they even predict transphobia before its spoken”, well, this might sound crazy to you, but everyone is assuming things all the time, our whole perception of reality is nothing but a hallucination that our brain comes up with using not only stimulus from the world but also assumptions.

There’s a blind spot on each 1 of your eyes, your brain simply fills it in without you knowing, it also adds color to the edge of your vision and makes the whole thing less blurry.

When someone says “i won’t date trans people” some people will simply fill in the blanks, they’ll assume every bit of info about who you are what you believe in what your personality is from just a sentence, because the brain is literally designed for it.

IQ tests are just patterns where a spot is blanked out and you’re supposed to fill it in, your intelligence is measured by your ability to fill in the blanks, and low intelligence people will just make mistakes more often, but everyone smart or dumb will constantly make assumptions about everything, and dumb people will be proven wrong about their assumptions more often.

And this happens all the time even when you’re not talking about politics or having a fight.

Someone talking about the earth being curved? well, every time I saw someone do that they called it a sphere so let me just fill in the blanks.

Someone saying they wouldn’t date trans women? well, every time I see screenshots of people saying that in my drama facebook group i see them being transphobic, so let me just fill in the blanks

That’s just how incels operate.

Building legitimacy

Have you ever noticed that every sexual preference eventually gets assigned a flag, on that note, why does every country have a flag?

If you ask a regular person to guess why their country has a flag you’ll get something related to aesthetics, our flags represent our country.

For example Romania and Hungary:

In school we are taught that each colour on our flag has a different meaning, I searched on google and everyone disagrees on what they mean but as an example.

Liberty (sky-blue), Justice (field yellow), Fraternity (blood red) 

Outside of school I was taught by my grandma that the Hungarian flag, much like the Romanian flag, also has a meaning.

The green represents a wide field of green grass, the white represents a white dog playing on the field of grass, rolling around on his back, and the red represents his red dog cock.

Both of these meanings are pretty much just something that a Romanian randomly came up with so i don’t think most people know why countries have flags.

Flags originate from war, that way the armies know not to attack their own allies when they see they carry the same flag, having an army grants you true legitimacy because you can just beat people up into believing you’re legitimate, so countries with no armies probably still had flags because it would be really hard to pretend you have an army otherwise.

Nowadays every country has a flag even if war is illegal, simply because every country has been using one for so long that it became convention. If you don’t follow convention you will be seen as illegitimate. It’s an unwritten rule, but a rule nonetheless, that you need a flag, and much like not following written rules makes you illegitimate (and illegal) so does not following unwritten rules.

And sexualities having their own flags and names probably feels like an even stronger convention than countries having flags for some people.

It’s very often brought up that you have to feel “valid” (which more or less means “legitimate”) 

I still don’t know why, but it’s apparent that people need to be reassured that their sexuality is “valid” and then there’s also this:

Why does a sexual preference have to be distinct from a sexuality? I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure the only difference between the two is legitimacy, to confirm to the conventions of flags and labels.

Q: So why do superstraights get a label and a flag and copy everything that LGBT people do, like tweets talking about how valid their followers are or using the word bigot etc

A: Because to get true legitimacy you need to copy the conventions.

The cargo cult

(wikipedia) Some primitive tribes of people would look at colonists from the civilised world and notice that after they’d built some plane lanes, the planes would come bringing cargo full of valuable stuff.

The tribesmen have made the observation that planes land if you build lanes for them to land on, they made the hypothesis that building the lanes causes the planes to come, and like scientists, they set out to test it.

They made lanes, they made fake planes, they tried to copy everything that the colonists did hoping it would be enough.

Superstraight is a lot like a cargo cult of sexualities, they have a flag, they have a label, they call everyone bigots all the time.

This is the first pic I sent before cropping it.

Because, like a cargo cultist who does not see the plane factories from the colonists homelands, the superstraight person does not see the LGBT community from outside his filter bubble, the filter bubble where only the most obnoxious people like the trans-incels can get through.

So when the superstraight person who thinks every LGBT person is just an obnoxious incel tries to “fit in” with the LGBT, they will act like an obnoxious incel, and when everyone is angry at him, he thinks to himself “they've all proven themselves hypocrites! i baited them so hard! i won!!!”

Even tho there’s a bunch of LGBT people from the comment sections I read who don’t even know the trans-incels even exist, because their filters simply don’t show them the same things you superstraight people are shown.

It gets worse

There’s some people who are so cocky and think they’re so much smarter than the LGBT community that they can just sneak in the nazi SS symbol into their flag and not just fuck up the bait completely.

hehe Schutzstaffel fla- wait! you cant call me a nazi! this is just another sexuality you hypocriteeeee

But this is also just a minority of the people who get superstraight trending, its so popular that I’m pretty sure most of the people getting it to trend are actual normies who wouldn’t even recognise the SS symbol and who have never been to 4chan.

Speaking of 4chan

Of course people don’t think superstraight is legitimate when you have 4chan taking credit for it.

They pick up on all the superficial customs like the flag the label the speech patterns and think “this is their, logic, im using it against them, and they’re all mad because of this alone and not just because a we’re comparing ourselves to the Schutzstaffel”

In a turing test a computer attempts to pass as a human.

In the ideological turing test a human tries to pass as someone of a different ideology.

Are people afraid of passing the ideological turing test? do they think if they can think like the enemy, then they’ll become the enemy? there was no need for people on 4chan to talk so openly about superstraight being a ruse, there was no need to make nazi memes with it, there is no need to post “we used their logic against them”, to constantly tell “yes this is all a lie”.

And yet people have to constantly break character and expose superstraight for being a fake sexuality, why? what’s even the point of it then?

What it could have been

Imagine a world in which instead of making a cargo cult sexuality and just delegitimizing it yourself with all the actual nazi symbolism, you were able to cancel trans-incels.

Imagine if they were able to say things like “the trans-incels are trying to create a new rape culture in which superstraight people are coerced into having sex with transexual people” with a straight face

Imagine if they even tried to coin the term “trans-incels”, since incels are hated by progressives for misogyny and are often associated with 4chan.

Imagine if they could get people banned for hate-speech against the superstraight

Imagine if they had the balls to denounce the people amongst them trying to delegitimise superstraight with their nazi SS and obvious parodying of the  points that aren’t taken seriously by anyone who doesn’t call themselves anti-sjw.

Maybe then there’d be some divide between “pro-superstraight” and “anti-superstraight” instead of everyone who’s not anti-trans agreeing that superstraights aren’t legit.

Maybe they’d be able to get some people canceled, there’s been at least one actual celebrity (India Willoughby) who is a trans-incel, they  could have canceled her! but nobody is even trying.

And oh how much “applying their own logic against them” would have been true if as a response to “but not all trans people are calling you transphobic for having a sexual preference!” you dusted off the “not all men are like that” memes that was popular with feminists.

If they would go on the offensive, cancelling people, spreading trans-incel screenshots to everyone who says they’ve never seen one, mocking people who stand up against them the way feminists used to and say “nOt aLl TrANs pEopLe aRE liKE THat” to anyone who says “not all trans people are like that”, to tell them that “silence is violence” and to make them cancel eachother.

Imagine how much more effective that would have been.

In the end this isn’t gonna make a difference, it will be forgotten, maybe in a couple months, or a year, or a week, some people are  angry today because a counterculture hashtag is trending, but they’ll forget about it too, maybe a couple dozen people will permanently have superstraight on their twitter bios, but really, nothing interesting is gonna come out of it, and if someone tries to make something like whitesexual/blacksexual/asiansexual etc a thing the well will have already been poisoned by superstraight.

[satanfemme]

advice??? im super worried i might be trans, i'm currently identifying as nb but im masc a LOT and im scared i might be a trans guy bc i was identifying as trans a couple years ago and it.. did not go well with my family. helppp

well I guess firstly I think its important for you to accept that there's nothing wrong with being a trans guy and that there's nothing wrong with men or masculinity either, cause if ur really that scared about being a guy (which is valid! being trans is a scary thing) then like that fear might be something that needs to be addressed with yourself first before you even start worrying about family stuff.

cause I know how hard it can be anon but being trans is a beautiful thing and being a man is a beautiful thing, and I can remember the first time I heard those statements being said about trans men and I didnt understand how it could be true, but now in 2020 I love being a trans man so much! and to me personally it's just the most beautiful and soft and loving identity, idk how else to describe it. so even if you can't internalize any good feelings about it now just keep it in the back of your mind that there are good feelings to be had!

and the thing is, if you feel happier as a man or happier being seen as a man, or if you *want* to be seen as/be a man, then those feeling shouldn't be ignored and you should definitely try to consider what they mean for you (which it sounds like you already are!) because they're valid and real and there's nothing wrong with feeling that way. you deserve to live your best and happiest life and if that involves being a man then I think it'd be helpful to let yourself identify that way.

and with your family, I think something to think about is that coming out isn't an all or nothing game. if for whatever reason you don't feel comfortable coming out to your family that shouldn't stop you from coming out in other places that do feel safe to you, like online or with friends. even if you need to stay closeted sometimes for now that doesn't mean you have to deny yourself an identity that makes more sense to you, find a safe space for you to explore this identity, or other gender identies, and just try it out again and see if it feels right or good.

I don't have too much to say about dealing with a transphobic family if that does become an inevitability but know that you aren't stuck with the family you're born into, you get to choose your family and in 10 or so years who knows what people you'll have met who love you for who you are, you know?

[violasmirabiles]

sorry for the kinda dumb question but how did you know/figure out you were bi?

not adumb question at all!

i wasaround 14 when i first realized i was kind of crushing on a girl in my school,although at the time i was still very “im definitely an ally and VeryInterested in these issues but No Way i myself could be gay” so i promptlybrushed it off. she was a year older than me which seemed like a huge age gap at the time, and she was so much cooler than i could ever imagine tobe, there was no way she could everwant to be with someone like me. i basically told myself i wanted to be her and not with her, although i couldnt even really put this into words in mymind. the same pattern was repeated with a couple of other girls, who were also very cool and hot very very pretty. 

(also, patti smith. i discovered patti smith when i was like 15. the cover photo of horses, gloria, easter, they made me feel warm and weird in a way i couldnt describe. today i can describe that feeling as oh god im so fucking GAY)

i already knew aboutbisexuality at that point, id first read about it when i was like ten oreleven, and i still remember i was like “oh! that sounds neat. that soundsVery Neat indeed” when i read about it. like the concept intrigued me but i didnt really understand why.

 however, it still took me pretty long tocome to terms with who I was. i knew i wasn’t exactly gay since i did like guystoo. but i didn’t even dare consider such things cos this was when the peoplein my school very cleverly deduced that since i had short hair and occasionallywore mens shirts that were WAY too colorful and wore weird make up, I had to be gay, and that, in addition tothe fact that i listened to weird music and read weird books and was too goodat school or something and just generally weirdand wrong, was a good and legitreason to bully me lmao. at the time i still denied i was gay cos you cant just assume something like thatbecause of my hair or the way i dress! which is of course true, but it kindof hurt me cos they were kind ofright, even though i didn’t want to admit it cos they would’ve “won” orsomething.

 so i only really started thinking abtthings after 9th grade. and when i got away from those fuckers who bullied me, icould admit to myself that yeah i did in fact seem to like girls Like That. ieven started dating a girl at one point! and came out to those closest to me asNot Straight when i was 18. but that attraction felt different than theattraction i felt towards guys, and since it was my understanding at the timethat being bi was like fifty-fifty, half and half, being equal parts attractedto Both Genders™, i didn’t feel like i could call myself bi. didn’t help thatmy ex gf, also bi, called herself Half Gay and was like. kinda forcefullyputting the bi label on me which made me uncomfortable cos i wasnt halfanything and it very much felt like she was telling me i was something id toldher i wasnt. AND then theres the whole “being bi means youre transphobic” crap,which also made me scared to identify as bi.

 but after i got over that (somewhat), iused queer and bi side by side for a while, started getting used to it, and nowits like queer is this very good umbrella term that only states that im NotStraight, but i definitely identify as bi and it feels Right and Good.  

[askanonbinary]

i'm extremely stressed. i feel uncomfy being a girl but i dont know why. i feel scared of being a boy but i dont know why. being something in between feels like nobody will ever understand it. its hard to know whether im feeling dysphoric or not. so many people believe you need dysphoria. I feel so horribly about my boobs. i feel so awkward in public when people say my birthname. i dont know if thats dysphoria. can i be cis with dysphoria? why do i feel like this.. im so confused. please help...

You can be cis with dysphoria. You can be trans without dysphoria. You can be trans with dysphoria. You can be cis without dysphoria. You can have feelings about your body that you don’t understand.

Our FAQ goes pretty in depth over what dysphoria is: http://askanonbinary.tumblr.com/post/166408335520/askanonbinary-faq-prod-at-me-through-the-inbox-if where you’ll see that what you described could easily fall under dysphoria if that’s how you feel best describes your experience(s) and feelings.

Since you’re confused and questioning, I suggest checking out our questioning tag! Sounds like our coping, self doubt, and dysphoria tags could also help you out. My simplest piece of advice to you is: work on letting yourself explore what makes you comfortable and happy without basing your identity on what you think other people think you should be. You are the only one who can define your identity. It doesn’t matter that some people are transphobic and gatekeep and say you have to have dysphoria to be trans. It doesn’t matter that maybe nobody (a bold claim considering you’re here talking with people who do understand!) would understand if you had some non binary identity. While these things will impact when and if and how you come out (if applicable), you need to work on letting these doubts go while simply exploring these feelings privately to yourself. Coming out (if applicable) doesn’t have to be anytime soon. It doesn’t even have to be on your mind. What’s important is that you allow yourself the room and time and patience and support to explore your feelings. Find what makes you happy first. Find what makes you comfortable and steady and grounded. Work on understanding yourself first, allowing yourself to play with different labels and looks and whatnot. This isn’t something you are obligated to share with anyone else, especially before you are ready. So just remind yourself that what matters right now is how you feel and how you think.

Wherever you end up, whatever label you end up with, questioning is always a difficult time of our lives. But it will be even more difficult if you continue to try and fight yourself on this. The only way to understand how you feel is to let yourself feel it.

~ Mod Sock

[cryptideye]

its fine to use the word queer as a self descriptor and like, to be honest i dont evenc are that much about it being used as an academic term or just as a catchall (though i do feel its a tad exclusionary of people who are uncomfortable with using that term to describe themselves, lgbt+ is fine as a community descriptor) but acting like its just not a slur at all and never HAS been a slur is fucking moronic 

inb4 "oh but people were called gay as an insult and oh are you gonna say THATS a slur now???" cool queer literally means "strange, odd, spoiled, ruined, etc" like girl its a DEROGATORY TERM DIRECTED AT A MINORITY GROUP. IF SOMEONE CALLS SOMEONE A QUEER THEYRE SAYING “youre gay and thats a bad thing”. ITS A SLUR ROFL? again, not saying ppl cant use the word queer. thatd be like saying lesbians cant say the word "dyke" which is RIDICULOUS and i do think context matters here (ie using it in a neutral / supportive way, im thinking of that “fags in support of dykes” poster rn haha) but acting like it not only isnt a slur today. but that it was NEVER a slur????? is fucking ridiculous dude omg

like i literally watched people on this hellsite go from “queer is a reclaimed slur that some people use for their identity because they think its fits well and its freeing to them to not have a more decisive label” (which is fine btw) to “im using queer as an umbrella term for a community and if you dont like it then OBVIOUSLY im just not talking about you if you dont reclaim it, im just talking about people who use the word queer to describe themselves” to “ actually the lgbt community is the queer community and theres nothing to reclaim because it was never a slur just like the word gay was never a slur get over it youre using ‘’’’’’’’’’’terf rhetoric’’’’’’’’’’ and saying its a slur is actually way more bigoted than calling someone queer who doesnt wanna be called that”

just because something is reclaimed! does not make it not a slur! back to my other example, just because the lesbian community has reclaimed the word “dyke” for decades doesnt mean it isnt a slur or that it just never WAS a slur! reclaiming slurs to take power away from the oppressor is obviously a good thing but acting like people who are uncomfortable with that or who acknowledge the fact that a slur is indeed a slur even though some people reclaim it just Hate You Specifically and are transphobes and homophobes and bigots who dont know True Queer History (which obviously just supports whatever tumblr discourse topic YOU think is true lmao) is just stupid??? like imagine telling a gay person “hey if you dont wanna be called a faggot just get the fuck over it you know its been reclaimed right??? its not even a slur anymore its a good inclusive term” you all sound ridiculous literally all you need to do is say “i reclaim queer for myself and think the wide reclamation of it is a good thing” you literally dont need to say shit like “its not a slur and never was a slur get over it” have some empathy for the people negatively affected by such language my GOD dude

also dont rb this i dont want it on random fuckers dashboards because NONE of you can act right and i dont have the feature to disable reblogs yet

[laundryandtaxes]

hey, i hope this isnt too invasive but im struggling w my identity and id like ur persepctive. how did you know u were a butch lesbian and not a transman? im attached to my lesbian identity and my relationship to womanhood but i also often feel dysphoric and want top surgery. how do i reconcile these things that i feel are diametrically opposed? how do i know i am a butch lesbian vs a transmasc nb lesbian person?

Thank you for sending this message and reaching out- I know it can be hard to talk about, I’ve been there myself as someone who disidentified for several years, and I’m glad you reached out to talk about it rather than hold it in. Just to get this out of the way, I don’t think these things are diametrically opposed at all.

The first thing I think you should consider is whether you really consider womanhood an option. I know that sounds a bit silly but so many of us absolutely did not realize it was actually, really, physically possible to grow old as women, to have sex as women, to have friends as women, because so many of us either had no friends like us or, in many cases, had friends like us only to see absolutely all of them stop identifying as women. I think there are a number of forces pushing in the direction of disidentification- it is hard to be a gnc girl and this leads to many of us not having solid senses of self as adults, it is hard to not see anyone who looks like you want to claim community with you specifically as women and this can make you feel like you literally are not real, it is just materially more appealing to be perceived as a non gnc man than a gnc woman and if you can pass 100% of the time it’s an appealing option because it means a better paycheck and safety when you walk down the street and so on, it hurts when your friends literally don’t treat you like they treat other women, and in many queer circles right now it is popular for people to straight up either ask when you’re transitioning or tell you that being a boring cis woman is regressive and not even possible if you see yourself as masculine, and the proper thing to do is to at least change your pronouns and pick up a gender identity that’s not regressive. This is a really confusing mixture of social impulses and material impulses, but I don’t think that we should always see the drive to disidentify as an individual decision with no social input having happened- there are lots of forces that make a lot of us, butch women especially, give up on a womanhood which people keep telling us we are doing wrong. So I would ask yourself what you think there is about women that means you can’t be one- there’s nothing wrong with being a woman who isn’t feminine, or even a woman like myself who primarily sees herself as a masculine person, and I think perhaps more now than ever we all need to at least be told that this in an option.

The second thing I think you should consider is what those terms mean to you and I think you should understand that none of them have one agreed upon definition. The way that I see myself is absolutely the same as how some people who identify as transmasc see themselves, down to my experiences with dysphoria, and honestly I have had conversations with more than one trans man who’ve told me our experiences and senses of self are more similar than different . I think the idea that you’re obligated to pick a term and then, if you should happen to pick the wrong one, you’re suddenly cut off from any community with women and lesbians is stupid and cruel. I think it is cruel to call straight trans men lesbians en masse but it is undeniable that there have always been and will always be trans men who still see themselves as very connected to women, who see themselves as living a certain kind of lesbian experience, etc- and the drive among those people to retain communities that have brought them up is not nasty male predatory behavior, it’s a desire to keep community with people they see as similar and important to them, and that’s fine. So this whole issue of picking the wrong term and then being shunned by lesbian communities of course has some basis- if you plan to date other lesbians then transition will shorten your options because there will likely be physical changes and social changes that most lesbians are just not going to be comfortable with, whether that is calling you her boyfriend or you growing facial hair, whether you see yourself as living a kind of lesbian experience or not- but when it comes to just retaining friendships and friend circles and not pretending you don’t relate to butch writing anymore, I don’t think that is a predicament you should be facing at all. Culturally, you probably will right now and that’s sad and unfortunate and I think encourages people to draw lines along identity politics rather than who you feel to be your people. But as far as I’m concerned, if lesbians are your people then we’re just you’re people and that’s that, and that space is generally there in some capacity if you want to claim it. But really the primary differences between myself and a “transmasc nb lesbian person” are literally just the terms we pick to describe ourselves (which is minimally important to me personally) and, in some cases, transition itself. To be perfectly clear though, I don’t believe there are hard lines between terms that refer to gender identity anyway- they’re terms that make us comfortable or uncomfortable, but one experience can go by a million names and you never know except by talking to individual people. If you want to call yourself an nb lesbian that’s totally fine, just know that your experiences are shared by lots of women who just call themseves butches and that you can have community there if you want it.

And then, lastly, I don’t think transition (social or physical) is a worst case scenario at all, or something you should see as a last ditch effort. It will come with its own set of challenges but honestly you’ve already faced many of those challenges as a gnc woman, and the others you should hopefully find communities of other people to help you out. In some communities, you will certainly be pushed away if you start seeing yourself as trans in some way due to concerns about you suddenly becoming a totally different person who wants to infiltrate women’s spaces. I think that’s stupid and, ironically, transphobic in its implication than transition will somehow make you a worse person than before. But in many communities, you will absolutely not be pushed away and I don’t think you should be. This is a matter of your comfort and your health, and I hope the women around you respect that.

This got long, sorry, but I wanted to give you a full answer because I’ve been there myself and didn’t call myself a woman for several years (I know almost no butches who didn’t disidentify at some point, including some who either transitioned and then stopped or are just living stealth as men still while reidentifying because that’s the cleanest option for them) and I think this sentiment is really common among us for right now, but really all I needed to read and respond to is “im attached to my lesbian identity and my relationship to womanhood” because that’s it, then! No matter what you call yourself I’ll consider you a sister or sibling of mine in some capacity, but I want to stress that there is nothing about you that is not true or cannot be true of at least some women, and if you want space here, which you just told me, it is here for you whether you’re dysphoric or end up choosing top surgery or whatever. If you know that your people are here then I’m quite happy to have you as one of us, whatever that means to you and whatever makes that easier for you. I honestly get the feeling that, like many of us, you are asking for permission to hold space with other women and other lesbians, and you absolutely have it. Much love your way, and keep in touch somehow!

[bi-lesbian]

when i have a VERY slight attraction to men, it makes the bi label not feel extremely accurate for myself. it has nothing to do with "internal biphobia," i know since my attraction crosses more than one gender at all it means bi bc bi spans across a bunch of different percentages of attractions- but thats exactly the issue here.

when bi can mean SO many different attractions, its hard to have it feel specific enough to describe my identity well. things like "bi with a preference" doesnt feel right either bc it sounds more like around 25% men when my attraction is more like 1 or 2% men. but i also dont want to not use bi at all bc even tho my attraction to men is So Extremely Small- and i probably wont even date/want to date any men in the future- i dont want to exclude my attraction to them completely.

i feel so much more strongly attached to the lesbian label bc i feel like it describes a lot more of my identity better than just bi does, but since i do have that tiny portion of attraction to men, lesbian by itself doesnt feel accurate to use either.

so, i went with bi lesbian! putting them together for me means something different and more specific than either word means individually, so it just felt like an "in between" identity to label a very specific attraction! where neither word is a descriptor for the other, and im not using either on its own, it feels like it puts my identity down way better! i found something that feels right!

but then, people started to attack me for using this label. not even giving my side a single thought, people would shout me down and say that any amount of attraction to men i have means im just bi, say im a lesbophobe/biphobe/transphobe (?? bc other ppl have apparently used the label shittily against trans ppl when i dont at all???), and constantly push me away from the lesbian label when That one is the one i felt more accurate with if i had to use just one label or the other. ppl try to force me out of a label that feels most comfortable to me, for reasons like "men use the label to harrass lesbians" when those men arent even respecting any womens boundaries in the slightest to begin with ?? why am i being attacked and said to not be able to use my identity when some men out there think they have a chance/can force a woman to like them regardless of their identity? why are the actions of shitty men having the blame forced onto me?

so then, im just left here in this sort of limbo of not really feeling like i belong to either side of my bi lesbian identity. i either dont feel like i fit or made to not feel like i fit. and its really upsetting. ive been having axiety here n there the past few days and i just labeled it random anxiety, but i still figure its probably actually bc people wont leave me alone on my own identity and keep attacking me when i just want to exist and be happy. i dont want to force anyone into accepting my identity, but everyone seems to think its okay to yell their views on my identity at me when i never asked for it. its stressful.

i even made a positivity blog to try have a nice space for myself and people still just dont let up. seriously how can yall see a positivity blog and think its okay to be a dick to the person running it? try to excuse it all u like, its super fucking shitty. if someone has a positivity blog its probably bc theyre having too much negativity in their life. if you dont like the things theyre showing positivity for, hit the fucking block button. leave. them. the. fuck. alone.

im so fucking tired