#and i feel like i'm totally justified too because like. for one the costumes they sell at the store are ugly + cheap + tacky and

[woodnrust]

Grandma is suddenly mad at me because I told her I want to go to the thrift store to buy a shirt and a vest to make a vampire costume with and when she said we could just buy a full costume from the store I told her "no because they're so cheaply made that it's not practical for everyday wear" and after I turned around to leave she started mumbling cursing me out under her breath and it's like girl I can Hear you.

[keefwho]

September 25 - 2023 Monday

3:32pm

No matter how deeply I care, sometimes I fail to find the right words to confront something. Im drawing a total blank right now, unable to understand how I can best show I'm listening and care.

11:28pm

This morning's breakfast was leftover totinos pizza and some brown rice. The pizza got screwed up because I stacked them in the tin foil so the top of one slice got stuck to the bottom of the other and I had to fix it with some extra pepperoni and cheese from the freezer. But it worked. I worked on my room scan a little bit after.

Stream was good, I finished out another sketch page and the last commission and then some work on my creepypasta avatar. During the stream I felt like I was sounding kinda bitchy, for some reason my voice today sounded like I had attitude.

My tummy felt blech like it almost always does right after streaming but I sorted some things in my closet and pushed out my whole workout. I motivated myself by knowing I'd be super justified in eating a extra large lunch afterwards.

I made beed rice a roni for lunch with lentils, meatballs, onions, carrots, and spinach. It turned out okay.

For some reason right after lunch I got super braindead. I couldn't focus on anything. I could form the right words. I couldn't draw very well. I had to brute force the request today and did a bunch of pony sketches. I had an idea to draw the mane 5 in their halloween costumes getting fucked hard. Like a whole set of images, that sounds like something people would enjoy.

Afterwards I was content watching Twitch and playing HOI4 which was perfectly boring because I'm in a slow part of the game. I felt good doing nothing this evening, like I knew it was what I wanted to do and that I was valid for enjoying it after doing all my work.

Daisy called while job hunting and I watched MoonMoon do 1 Mario Maker level for an hour. Still felt good doing nothing. I put honey bbq chicken and fries in the oven for dinner.

We hopped on VRchat and joined this bartender we met before. The club he tends is weird because they take it very seriously and the owner of the group invited us to join it. At first I feel like judging these people for taking all this way too seriously because it's kind of pathetic in a way but I used to enjoy doing the same thing. Its not that they take it too seriously, I understand its almost like roleplay to them. Or at least it was to me. Its fun to have an identity in VRchat that is somewhat separate from your normal identity. One that takes the VR world a little more seriously.

[sunkcost]

On Jimmy being willing to change himself to however Kim wants, it really hurts my feelings that those lines are almost the exact same as when he’s begging Chuck in “Nacho” (I’d also add to the pile Inflatable where he actually admits he tries to be what they want, and the Fall commentary where they said he steals costuming and lines from everyone else). Like I’m not trying to woobify, but fuck he deserves a little peace with himself, and not just hiding behind a loud and colourful mask.

no, i'm totally with you. there's something so sad about jimmy's desperation for acceptance. i think that's one of the major contributing factors in how he reaches this point. he's constantly chaffing against people's expectations but he also cares so much about what other people think of him. he wants to be wanted. i really never stop thinking about that peter gould quote saying walt turned out to be driven by a desire for power but jimmy's always been driven by a need for approval and acceptance and it's something he never quite gets. i think that one of jimmy's major problems is that he is so fixated on how people see him, even as he doesn't want to be. it's the same problem he has with morality, really, that he's too caught up in external justification.

trying to refrain from getting too into the weeds on it, but if the show is in many ways about the non-existence of objective morality, the idea that there are things which can be existentially proven to be right or wrong, then there's something really perfect about how jimmy's need for external approval is so tied up in his struggle with identity. looking at morality from an existential perspective, the idea is really that if you cannot objectively prove things to be wrong or right then justifying your actions is fundamentally impossible. there's no logical foundation to base your argument on because the ideas of 'wrong' and 'right' themselves are ideological constructs. they only mean as much as you decide to allow them mean. therefore, the idea is more about acting in good vs. bad faith than being wrong or right, deciding what you personally believe to be correct or incorrect courses of action, knowing there's nothing objective to dictate that decision and that you cannot justify it to anyone else. all that to say, jimmy steps outside the law, the socially agreed upon idea of morality, but he isn't ever really able to give up the need to justify his actions to other people. he has left the social standard of moral acceptance but he doesn't have the internal conviction to stand by his decisions when they aren't understood by other people.

i think he has the same problem with identity. he doesn't want to live his life defined by societal norms but he also can't deal with the fact that people reject him when he steps outside of them. there's a constant tension between him not wanting to conform and him wanting to be wanted. he has an identity in there somewhere, i do believe that, but his identity is incompatible with his need for acceptance and so he gets stuck in this awful place in the middle where no one understands or accepts him and he doesn't understand or accept himself. that is my very longwinded way of saying that i completely agree. to me it feels like the only way he can really move forward is to start relying on internal conviction instead of external validation. he has to give up on being accepted, which for him i think is an extremely difficult thing to do. at the same time, there is something about him going from jimmy, a person torn between being who he is and being who people want him to be, to saul, who is neither who he is nor who people want him to be, to gene who is, like he says, a shadow or a ghost, not really a person at all.

i also think it kind of has to do with observation. saul is about controlling how people look at him, even if negatively. on the surface it seems to be about giving up on what people think of him, but i think it's the opposite. i think it's nothing but an awareness of how people think of him, and it's at once an attempt to control it (he can't make them love him but he can make them hate him), and to punish himself (he's existing in his own personal hell, a world where no one understands him and no one wants him). gene is also something like that, but different as well. saul is like a perversion of jimmy, all the things people dislike about him taken to the extreme, playing into their preexisting perceptions even as they don't actually reflect what he wants or who he is. gene is totally average, accepted by people, but not in a real way, because no one knows him well enough for the acceptance to mean anything. jimmy's real identity is still somewhere inside of him but it's not perceived by anyone and so he remains unknown and unwanted. that's a big part of the reason why i don't think further punishing jimmy is the best outcome for the series. it feels like the trajectory of his identity has pushed him to a point where he could either disappear entirely or realize his identity as something outside of other people's perceptions. to me that feels like the only way to stabilize his struggles with morality and identity.

[epicene-humanoid]

some trans Jeff thoughts:

he realized he was trans in elementary school and just went fuck it I'll just start introducing myself as Jeffery and see if anyone decides to stop me (as we know, jeff winger can get away with almost anything)

he got top surgery the second he could afford it (around the same time he started at his law firm), and probably bribed someone to keep it a secret

"I'm jeff winger and i would rather look at myself naked than the women I sleep with" are the words of a man proud of his transition

he's really insecure about his fashion sense, which is why he mostly dresses like the douchey guys at his firm in the start of the show, he thought you can't go wrong with the sleazy lawyer look

he will never admit it but he feels super good about the dean hitting on him, because the dean is a (cis) guy, acknowledging that Jeff is more manly than him

i think he starts out stealth and comes out to everyone one by one, probably starting with abed because he knows abed won't judge him and will probably just see it as an interesting backstory.

abed just says it's cool and maybe worth a prequel exploring Jeff's transition, and jeff asks him to predict how all of the members of the group will react to him coming out.

abed's predictions:

britta will be over-the-top supportive and do a ton of research about trans history, probably put together a slideshow just to prove how progressive she is, and jeff will be a little bit weirded out, but also touched that she did all that for him, though he would never let her know that

shirley will be confused, because she doesn't know how someone she trusts and knows so well could be part of a group she was raised to hate, but ultimately realizes that there's nothing actually against the lgbtq people in the bible, and, as a cool character development arch, starts to advocate against use of the bible to justify bigotry

troy will just think it over and decide that Jeff's physique and coolness are even awesomer knowing how much work he'd had to put in to be like that, and respects Jeff's manliness even more

annie will give him a hug, say something sweet about how she'll always love him, and worry about his health, because even she read somewhere that taking testosterone makes you more likely to have a heart attack, jeff will explain that the risk is still only as high a cis guy, and she'll be the one to always remind him to take his shots

peirce will say at best say "jeff winger used to be a chick?" and at worst call him a slur, either way there's sure to be a lot of misgendering from him, and pestering to know Jeff's deadname (needless to say, Jeff just doesn't tell peirce)

the whole group goes out of their way to keep their beach trips a secret from pierce (the girls don't want him there anyways, he's too liable to be creepy) even though jeff knows that even if pierce saw his scars, all he would have to do is make up a story about some childhood accident and pierce would never question it

sorry this ended up being super long. can I hear some of your headcanons for him?

YES ALL THIS!!! yes yes i’m fully accepting this as canon oh my god

i’m about to type a whole ass ESSAY at midnight because i have been DYING to talk about this for months ajfdksljk,,, this is going to be obscenely long and i might end up adding even more to it as i continue to rewatch the show because there is truly no shortage of trans jeff content (especially when you’re trans and see transness in every little thing ajdkslfkjs)

spoiler warning for literally everything about this show under the cut <3

i 100% agree, i feel like he realized he was trans super young, especially since in the show we see him as a little kid a couple of times. 

like look at little jeff with the oversized sweatshirt and little ponytail!! that’s childhood trans fashion. not to be dramatic but part of me thinks that jeff’s dad left before he fully came out to his family (which gives him even more angst about it, because until that one Thanksgiving episode, he’s never able to prove to his dad that he’s a better man), but part of me thinks that his dad left after he came out (which adds that spicy i-should-have-stayed-in-the-closet guilt that he has to work through). 

either way, because his dad wasn’t there, he had to base his concept of masculinity on something else, which was becoming a lawyer!! there’s some line that’s like “after the dust and divorce papers were settled the only man i looked up to was [the lawyer guy]”. like, replacing your father figure in your mind with the concept of “a job where you can talk your way in and out of anything and distort other people’s concept of reality”? that’s trans.

 and the fucking THANKSGIVING EPISODE... i struggle to watch it without crying hehe <3 yeowch! the dichotomy of willy jr. being the “wrong” kind of man because he’s “too soft” but jeff also not being enough despite adhering to all the social standards of masculinity... fuck!! this whole scene of him telling his dad “i am Not well adjusted” and talking about how he gave himself an “appendix surgery scar” when he was a kid and he still keeps the get-well-soon letters from his classmates under his bed? oh my god. the implication of people loving him not despite his scars but because of them?? trans. i can’t think about this episode for too long or i’ll start yelling.

OH and this scene? where he talks about how his mom got him a girl costume for halloween?? and everyone said “what a cute little girl” and after a few houses he stopped correcting them?? and “once the shame and the fear wore off, i was just glad they thought i was pretty”?? THAT’S TRANS... the man needs validation oh my god... and then in all the halloween episodes we see he has these ultra-masculine costumes (a cowboy, David Beckham, one of the fast and furious guys even though he never watched the movies, a boxer with his DAD’S boxing gloves... god) costumes are about becoming something else and he always chooses to be hypermasculine and that is trans.

THE PHYSICAL EDUCATION EPISODE!!!!!!! being uncomfortable during P.E. is a queer experience. period. but him being specifically uncomfortable in the clothes someone else is assigning to him? trans. “are we gonna talk about clothes like a girl? or use tapered sticks to hit balls around a cushioned mat like a man?” TRANS. and him eventually stripping in public? celebration of transness. and the fact that he eventually becomes comfortable in both the uniform and his own style!! trans!! god i love this episode. 

AND AND AND!!! the gay dean coming out episode!!! where it’s the three of them discussing the best way for the dean to come out as gay despite not entirely identifying with that label!! so we have both frankie and the dean who are sort of ambiguously queer, and jeff who’s a stealth trans man who’s probably only out to only the study group at this point. this scene where the dean and jeff have this like eyebrow communication while frankie is talking is just so cute. queer-to-queer communication. “I am so curious” “oh?” “intellectually.” “oh...” ajfdksljfk this scene just screams high school GSA to me and i love it so much.

and SPEAKING of the dean!! i totally see you on that. i feel like jeff has some internalized homophobia/biphobia (like he’d throw punches over someone else, but when it comes to himself he has a lot of shame). and also seeing the dean so confident in all his different outfits/costumes has a weird affect on him bc it’s like “okay, the dean, a cis guy, can do that, but i as a trans guy could Not because that’s Breaking the Rules”. which, like, throwback to the halloween thing. of course there’s no right way to be masculine, but mr. winger does not know that.

another thing!! the episode where their emails get leaked? that includes his emails with his therapist. fuck!! he was outed to the whole world in that episode!! no wonder he was so fucking angry!! this whole episode (and really any time he mentions his therapist) is so interesting when you think about them as a person he talks to about his transition. OH which adds to the thing with the dean!! “and you told your therapist you wanted to be alone this weekend” and “not you jeff, i know you’ll be visiting your dad” ”I told you to stop reading my emails”. luckily his study group has his back and just makes fun of him for emailing astronauts lmao

and WHO can forget “they’re giving out an award for most handsome young man!!!!” what else is there to say about this line besides: he’s trans. you know he didn’t get awarded enough for being a handsome young man when he was a kid, and no amount of compliments when he’s fully-grown can really make up for that. some people crash a kid’s bar mitzvah to cope with the fact that they struggled to be seen as themselves when they were a teenager <3

also his weird relationship with pierce? where he kind of hates him (understandably lmao) but at times has this almost-friends-almost-father-son relationship with him? especially in this episode where he’s forced to bond with him and ends up having a good time by accident (at a barber shop no less, the perfect place to Be A Man with your Man Friend). idk what to say about him besides the fact that pierce says his mom wanted a girl when he was born and made him dress like a girl (and his middle name is anastasia!) so if they’re gonna do any bonding over transness it’s gonna be that. 

okay one last thing and then i’ll shut up for the night. this episode kills me (and almost kills jeff hahahahelpi’mcrying). it’s a very Trans thing to not be able to visualize your future self, it just is. growing up trans at the time he did? i don’t know what kind of future he saw for himself, but i’m so happy that he ended up with a group of friends who became his family and love him the way they all do. i’m so emotional over this asshole it’s ridiculous. 

in conclusion:

they’re trans, your honor <3

[convenientalias]

Lovers of the Red Sky Review (a little belated)

So a few weeks ago now I finished watching Lovers of the Red Sky. It was pretty good.

(Review below contains some spoilers.)

Some Things I Really Loved About Lovers of the Red Sky:

The two main characters! Definitely my favorite thing about the show <3. I love Hong Cheon-gi. She's such a fun character. She's a mix of career ambitions and concern for others and not incredible professional ethic (I love a forger haha, tho Prince Yang-myeong is right that there's something shallow about forgery). She has so much painting talent; watching her paint and listening to her talk about painting is one of my favorite parts of the show. She cares tremendously about her father and Ha Ram and her friends. And at the same time, she's not too serious. She can be sassy, get panicked over doing something awkward or improper, get a little dreamy-eyed over seeing her crush. She just feels very three-dimensional and very alive. I love her.

Ha Ram I had more mixed feelings about. Mostly I really like him. He gets whumped a lot, which is always a point in someone's favor for me. He has a secret identity. He can fight well, and he's calm and collected except when he's really really not. And he's a love interest who isn't too tsundere about having a crush (I've gotten tired of dramas with a lot of bickering lols) even though he has reasons that having a relationship right now would be inconvenient. Also, a desire for revenge! Always fun.

The other thing I really like about this show is its aesthetics. The paintings are all beautiful and showcase different styles and interpretations of themes, both the paintings by Hong Cheon-gi and those by other painters. And aside from that, it's a pretty show in other ways too. People's costumes generally suit them, Cheon-gi and Ha Ram always look good together, and there are some nice lingering shots of starry skies. It's a pretty pretty show <3

Things I Did Not So Much Love About Lovers of the Red Sky:

I guess the thing that frustrated me the most was the ending of Ha Ram's arc. When a guy wants revenge--when it's his character's driving motivation--I want to see him either get that revenge or go through a process of letting go of that desire. But Ha Ram barely does anything to get revenge; some actions he takes towards it are kind of ambiguous to me (sure, Ha Ram, you totally predicted that having the truth of the Crown Prince's illness would send the king into a coma. sure.) and others I'm not sure what he's going for (if he was trying to ruin that first sealing ritual he was part of, I don't see how--he spent most of it possessed and didn't really accomplish anything). And then when he decides to let it go, it's because it turns out the thing he was trying to avenge... actually just never happened? and NO ONE explained this to him at any point even though at least one person (cough the king cough) KNEW he was obsessed with revenge (I think? the ending was kind of confusing that way). It's so anticlimactic and boring. I WANTED TO SEE HIM MURDER SOME ROYALS. Well, at least he killed one subordinate... but apparently he wasn't entirely justified in that anyway? Oh well?

I also think the two princes could have been better developed. I wanted to see more of their relationship to each other, to their father. I wanted Prince Ju-hyang in particular to be more complex of a villain; it's not like he doesn't have reasons for what he's doing, but the show kind of handwaves this with "well, he was evil all along anyway tho, he should have just been FINE WITH DYING OF SLOW SPIRITUAL ROT" wtf. Didn't really dislike either prince, tho--I know some ppl get frustrated with Prince Yang-myeong but eh, if we're going to have a love triangle I'd as soon have the second male lead NOT be the one I'm rooting for anyway, and he was at least interesting in his dynamic with Ha Ram. (And his crush on Hong Cheon-gi--honestly, relatable.)

Finally, the depiction of Ha Ram's blindness is so inconsistent. The way he fights seems kind of unrealistic for a blind man, for one thing, and he often seems to be making eye contact with ppl or looking at things. Also, the whole point of his blindness is that MAWANG isn't supposed to be able to see--but it always seems like Mawang can, when he possesses him? What the fuck was the point of giving Cheon-gi his eyes, then? Just for the drama of it all?

Overall

Despite my complaints, I really enjoyed this show! The romance is cute and fun, the political intrigue is... not awful, and the paintings are lovely. Would recommend to ppl who like female leads who are fun, driven and a little bit tricksy, and male leads who are calm and collected and get whumped a lot.

[genshinconfessions]

FINALLY I will have Albedo. I've been wanting him since he first came out but only started playing seriously at the tail end of his banner and couldn't get him. I have over 100 Fates saved and while I used my pity on Childe (purposefully because I love him too), I don't mind spending more on Albedo...

I like the double reruns. I think they should make double reruns a permanent feature or something like that. Like for the duration of an entire patch, instead of wasting one "main banner" on 1-2 reruns, I think there should be a rerun of an older character or an increased drop rate for someone in the standard pool, or something like that, in ADDITION to the two "new banners"? I haven't given much thought to this, though.

I think they need to start introducing 5*s that will become permanent in standard banner too. There's way too many limited characters (and way too many 5*s in comparison to 4*s). I feel like Yoimiya would've been great for this. I love Yoimiya a lot and her kit is fun but more important, I think she'd be a reliable and nice entry in the standard pool for newer players. I think going forward, they should start putting more characters in standard pool (that haven't been marketed as Limited/released already).

Generally, I think that MHY is introducing too many characters in general. I'm glad they did a lot of reruns these last few patches because I don't think it's a very sustainable model to be releasing so many characters in a short time-frame. I think if both standard and limited pools were larger and more balanced, it wouldn't be an issue. I don't really have any "proposed solutions" to this, though, that I can think of?

I've only played Honkai very, very briefly, but I think if they started making different kits based on costumes that could be equipped or something to that effect like the Battlesuits in Honkai. I tried to read about what battlesuits exactly were, and I can't figure out if they're completely different units (like you have 2 Kianas, each different Battlesuits) or simply equippable onto the base unit (you have 1 Kiana, but you can equip her with a different Battlesuit). Regardless, I think something like this would be interesting rather than MHY needing to make more and more characters and can focus on the story of Archon quests rather than rushing them out in order to put out new banners for new characters. I think it would also make the costumes costing around 30USD more worthwhile if they keep it that way (though I hope they don't, or change it so it can be bought with Primos too), but it would also be the only justified way to make the costumes a gacha system too.

I'm not really sure if that makes sense. Regardless I hope everyone who read through that and even those that didn't get whoever they want in the next banner, and remember that they'll all eventually come back! Good luck!!

- Suspicious Zhongli

suszhong, you do make a good point about the double banners and from the little information i've seen, i think they'll do that ONLY with rerun banners. as an example, itto is a new character, so he'll have his single banner alone with his new four star (gorou), but since albedo is a rerun character, he's rerunning with eula (also a rerunner).

i agree that they should put more characters in standard banner :(( i've been advocating for childe in standard banner for a while LOL i feel like enough ppl like him to warrant making him a permanent character, and you're totally right about yoimiya! i don't have her but from my friends' opinions, she seems like a much better amber which, no hate to amber, would definitely help ppl who like pyro archers but hate how awkwardly amber plays.

but i did want to say that i'm pretty sure the devs have said somewhere that genshin is SUPPOSED to play differently than honkai. honkai is turn-based, but genshin is open world, and that naturally lends itself to a lot of differences. if i'm being honest, i really love how genshin plays because i personally hate turn-based games (says, tempted to get star rail just for danheng and march 7th). i also don't think the devs would change the entire playstyle of the game this late in HAHAHA.

but yesssssssg ood luck to everyone! i'll have a heck of a time pulling for bedo the day he comes ;)

- katheryne from liyue

[imasimpforstevengrant]

Why do we like this clown so much?

Change the "we" for "I" and you get an usual tag I use whenever I post my content in Tumblr. And it sounds funny at first but whenever you start diving into that phrase, the deeper it becomes. So, I finally have decided to share my thoughts about this strange but wholesome attraction to this deeply flawed character. It's not something I usually do since I don't know how to write down my feelings properly and also in english so please forgive any typos (I'm from Chile so don't be surprised lol).

So...Why do we like this clown so much?

Why was it that a character precisely designed to scare and to disgust the fuck out of us ended up unchaining a series of feelings that shouldn't have taken place in a beginning?

Let's take a look at the background: Joaquin Phoenix was cast as Arthur Fleck/Joker in 2018. The first image of him as the aforementioned character revealed a deeply disturbed man. We knew the plot. A man driven to insanity after a brutal history of abuse, creating concern in people if the upcoming film would inspire real life violence. Incel violence and mass shootings, more specifically.

(the image in question)

As 2019 arrives, the two trailers generated so much hype that media needed to fuel its concern about it. Since it wasn't your typical comic book film, media basically bombed our minds making us believe this film was going to be a total disaster, an excuse to cause harm to others among other nonsense, as if the film would justify everything Arthur would do in the film, eventually. As the release date is closer, the film receives thunderous applause and unanimous praise from critics. At this, fans rejoiced and expressed impatience to watch the film.

October 5th.

People left the theaters amazed, shocked and genuinely moved by the inhuman treatment Arthur received in the film. The fear media tried so desperately to infuse in us with all the incel bullshit and such turned out to awake one of the most positive, best feelings in humans:

E M P A T H Y

The word that so gloriously cleared away any dark thoughts or actions not only proves media was wrong but it turned out to ridicule it in way nobody will forget: Hundreds of people advocating for mental illness, calling out to the kindness that could change a person's bad day and questioning how politicians and rich people are indifferent to social problems proved how much as a society we have changed in comparison with the one shown in the film.

However, since we are on Tumblr, I'll get straight to the point and try to explain why the fuck does this clown has us dying out of love and compassion (and lust).

I. Background.

As nurturing as we women are for a biological matter, we see a man deprived of a good job, is on seven different medications, working like a slave to sustain his ill mother, putting aside his own health and well-being to look for her, struggling to make his dream of being a comedian despite everyone stepping on him, underpaid and treated like a freak for a disorder he did not ask to suffer, which makes it impossible to be indifferent to all the horrible ordeal that eventually will reach the limit of what he can tolerate without going insane. It is impossible to not say or think, at least, that someone (even if it's just one person) should stand for him just as it is impossible not to feel the need to throw ourselves at him to shield him from people who hurt him or simply offer him our shoulder whenever he has had a bad day, specially when he learns he was sexually assaulted by his step father.

This horrid behaviour terrifies newer generations because they get a taste of what being a social outcast was like more than thirty years ago in comparison with today, where there's more acceptance and treatment for mentally ill people like Arthur. We see in him someone who could have been saved with a proper education and emotional support instead of descending into madness as a criminal. Others simply saw themselves being treated like him at some point in their lives and couldn't help but put themselves in his shoes.

II. Personality.

TRUTH BE TOLD:

There's something called "attraction by proximity". It is the explanation to the eventual love you feel whenever someone doesn't catch your eye at first terms of physical attraction but his/her personality does attract you. This happens to be the base of this situation. His shyness, introverted nature, tenderness and innocent desire to make people laugh and put on a happy face awake some kind of tenderness we cannot resist. This combined with the gloomy background increases our understanding (but not justifying) of the bad decisions he'll eventually take during the course of the film. This traces a line of harsh, almost hurtful contrast of the violence he shows later on the film. Once again, it is not justified in any way but it is certainly understandable.

III. Appearance.

Arthur Fleck is unconventionally attractive.

This happens to be a plus for most women. He is out of the male beauty standards (no abs, not too muscly or particularly tall), which makes him even more unique. It is precisely the fact that he's not a model one of the reasons women love him. He could easily be your man next door or your colleague or the guy you always see but never dare to talk for fear to bother him Because it's about proximity. Arthur looks like your common neighbour. He's not meant to be your typical desirable male protagonist at all.

... And yet.

Jesus Christ, he's so fucking hot I can't even---

It's not about how beautiful his green eyes are, his long slender fingers, his hair or his smile only. It's the charm behind it.

Another "magnet point" is the way he dresses. I know he's impoverished and his wardrobe tend to be repetitive but it is so unpretentious, so simple that is hard to not fall for. The modesty of the shirts, ironed trousers reminds us of a mature man deeply withdrawn into himself, love starved and longing to be seen and loved by others, like a war veteran who still fights the most important war: with himself. Is someone who needs to be listened and understood.

AND OF COURSE WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE ABOUT IT?

He's also brought back the old gentleman outfit, white shirts, red/yellow vest, red suit and elegant dancing moves and the retro style of the film boosts this attractiveness.

People keep comparing him with the previous interpretation of Joker (Leto's) whose costume appealed to young women with a tattooed, gangster, mumble rapper crazy-guy wannabe which didn't connect with the audiences (young people in general). This supposedly was to match or even have a sexy, tormented and desirable villain like Marvel's Loki. We all know how that story ended but it's the link for the next point below.

IV. Transformation

This is a particularly strong point considering how much we loved to watch the process of this weak, powerless, forgotten caterpillar into a beautiful and visible butterfly that will gracefully stir its wings for everyone to see its colours.

When Arthur transitions to the Joker, it's so cathartic to see taking revenge on those who wronged him (even when we're not supposed to root for him) like seeing his shyness fading away into a vivid confidence when dancing half naked in the bathroom, or witnessing him making way to make his name known to people in Murray Franklin's Show:

Adding to this newly gained confidence, there's another turn on: the way he walks.

At the beginning, his pace is hunched and limping, displaying his submission to violence, which makes the viewer more satisfied to see his broken yet beautiful soul turning the past pain of his existence into art: he lets music guide his moves as a way to tell the world he's a new man by cutting most of the sick, evil roots that harmed him, that he's invincible, that no one can stop him. Watching this cathartic display of euphoria was the most iconic scene in the film, following his speech at the TV and the inevitable meltdown that caused Murray's death.

Going to further appreciation, even his clown make up is beautiful. Why? Simple. The combination of colours, shapes and the intimidating glare just embellishes even more the character.

The dark blue triangles in his expressive eyes makes the light green colour to highlight, specially in dark backgrounds, giving the impression he's piercing your soul whenever he stares directly at the camera. Same can be said about the red smile and emerald green hair. They boost an already intimidating look.

The cold and warm colours paint a picture of a man full of intense emotions, mirroring it in a simple yet masterful artistic way.

Another interesting point is the way Joker dresses. Usually we had almost every single live adaption of this character in purple coat, hat, etc. But this particular version is not following any comic, which gives more freedom to creativity and once again, out of the standards of what we could have expected.

Red is a colour related to passion, action, love, strength, motivation and excitement. As for yellow, it indicates freshness, happiness and enlightenment and finally, green. Green is renewal, growth and regeneration. Colours that represent a new stage in his life, a mirthful chapter at last. We finally get to see our battered, always humiliated protagonist (or hero) descending into madness, but finally free from his repressed man who held his soul captive like a bird to fly away, to never come back. An insanity that despite being his downfall, turned out to be his ticket to freedom as he walks to the light in Arkham Asylum dancing at the end.

Ladies and gentlemen: behold the film nobody asked... But the film we fucking deserved.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk

❤️💚💛

[meandmystuffs]

[Anime] K Series

So, I just finished watching the whole K franchise (except for one) and I guess it's safe to say that I missed half of my anime fan life not hyping to this on its first release. 😭 Below are my not-really-helpful thoughts about this highly recommended anime.

Season 1 (🤺👑🐱)

1. Plot. This one has to be on my list of great plot. This really hooked me up from the first episode until the last. And I 😭 so hard on that one particular episode when the 3 colors came together (don't wanna spoil anything). I did try to guess what will happen next on every episode but the twists got me like 🤯 and I started to argue with myself. I'm still sane tho, not like the Seventh King. Opps~ 😋

2. Animation. They did a pretty good job on the animation. The costumes are great, hair, hair colors, locations, powers?, the sword designs (wanna have one for pendant) and the fight scenes. Just totally dope.

3. Music. I love the opening and ending songs. Also, I love how hip hop music were used throughout the anime especially on the fighting scenes (reminded me of Samurai Champloo and Banana Fish). And the one he played on the guitar. 😉 The friendship song!

4. Characters. I have a soft heart to guys in ponytail! 😍 And gangster character. 💪 The character development for Shiro was unexpected but I'm not complaining. 😉 So, yeah, I don't have a favorite character *kuroh, kuroh, kuroh*.

Season 2 (🐱)

I'll rate this one 9/10 because of the cliff hanger. 😅 Will watch now the Season 2 and the movie.

1. Plot. So, in the 2nd season, the 7 kings all appeard except the Gold King and the Colorless King, I guess. (please correct me if I'm wrong~ 🙏) More revelations, a little background, more drama and action were shown. And the climax was 🤯~ The fighting scene were too short for me 😣 but it was justified. That perfectly plan made me 😭 I thought, this gonna happen but it's not. That got me worried. 😂

2. Music. Is that techo/EDM I was hearing on the BGM?? That was super cool. 👍 This made me bob while watching super cool fighting scenes.

3. Animation. Still awesome plus the bird's eye thingy like in the season 1 and the movie and the 360 camera turn (sorry for my low vocab in animation jargons 🙏) were all great. The colors on Shiro on the last battle, that was totally dope.

Movie 👧👗👑🔥💓

I 😭ed. Sorry. My tears just feel out of my eyes. I'm not really a fan of violence but, their story just kick me so hard. I love the friendship and camaraderie between them and I'm just so happy for her and I know she will do well and, yeah (please watch the movie to understand). 😂

Overall, I'll give K (S1, Movie, S2) 10/10. The character were on the line, though so many, plot was well served, and the damn good animation. So far, my questions have been answered except, how did the 1st king returned??? 😂 Will just research on that. 👍

Ps.

I still have the "K: Seven Series" to check out so yeah. This is all for now. Thanks for reading~😊

[sainadazai]

When your crush is angry all the time

Ch.5

"I don't think fire's all that bad, you know"

3rd person pov

°•○●○•°•○●○•°

As the sun hung high in the sky the h/t haired girl stumbled around the train station in search of a restroom. Y/n had never experienced the mundane tasks a commoner would usually persue on a daily. Things like public transit, or any transit for that matter, were an enigma to her.

So while elder men stared a little too long and young children pointed at her in recognition, she spun in circles like a lost puppy.

"Its just a fucking bathroom, should there be someone here to direct people or something! Ugh and whats with the school girl fetish, these old guy are creeps..." she mumbled to herself continuing to get more and more lost on the platform.

Meanwhile, the rest of 1-A were making their way to internships as well, Midoriya scrolled into some old guys house, Kirishima bumped into his metal replica, and Bakugou held his grump posture and nonchilauntly entered the top 3 heros agency. He was expecting to at least learn something from this guy, or gain real life experience with villains. He never anticipated being scrutinized for his personality. No shit I'm scary, Im trying to kill shitty villains not make teenage girls put a picture of me on their wall.

For the first day of this new challenged everbody seemed to be having a ridiculously mundane time. Not y/n, though. No our main character was going through it, once she made it to the restroom, she got confused by how easily the toilet paper ripped in her hand and spent 20 minutes trying to get at least one whole time out of the stubborn roll. Then, when she opened up her bag to view the new hero-suot her mother helped design...she found strings¿

She ended up having to look at an example picture and read a guide on how to put what where. It took an additional hour considering the tightness of everpiece of fabric and when she stepped out of the stall to look in the mirror, she deadpanned. How could her mother hate her this much? It was already a burden being so sexy, but this? This was crazy.

She wasnt sure weather she should take a million photos, or never leave the bathroom and cry all day. However when her phone rang, a call from Mr.Woods agency, she realized how late she already must be.

In her rush, y/n also forgot about the creeps men and was recieving many stares, that went unnoticed. Until somebody had the audacity to touch her. It was just a ghost of his finger tips on the underneath of her ass that was no doubt on full display. That would not go accepted, as a girl who had turned her past trauma into nothing but a small personality traits, she wasnt scared. Still, as a woman who absolutely idolizes herself, or so she says, no one in this train station deserved the touch of her perfect, shiny, s/c skin.

The last error that secured her terrible first day was how y/n spun around and grabbed the mans fingertips. When she took a glance at him, he was smiling as if he had acomplished something. Boy was he wrong, only coming to realized so when the y/h girl suddenly had sprouted a vine from his finger.

He watched in fear as it began to grow and wrap around him, all the while the young girl he'd never met before let out a sickening aura that couldve suffocate him then and there. The vine continued to curl up around his middle and ring finger, slowly meeting the flash of his palm.

Once the growing stopped, y/n had almost decided to let him go. A part of her new that her plan wasn't well thought through, and he could be an innocent guy that accidentally touched her.

However, aggression outwayed logic and she looked him deep in the eye.

"You like using these fingers to touch things your not supposed to?"

"N-n-"

"Shhh, dont worry, im just gonna make sure you dont go touching things that arnt yours, okay?" She made an aggresive fist with the hand not touching him and the vine squeezed in. Anyone a foot away would be able to tell, but the both of them could hear how his two fingers snapped and bent under the pressure.

With a satisfied grin at the whispering man, y/n decided he had learned his lesson. Wow look at that, and I didnt even need some manly hero to come save me. Atta girl y/n.

Little did she know that not only did her pro-hero boss come to look for her, but je also saw the whole disaster. He was not pleased to say the least.

Y/n pov

°•○●○•°•○●○•°

As the tree like man sat down in his office chair across from me, all I could do was look to my feet. I didnt feel particularily had about my actions, however, I did feel bad about being late.

While it is fun to be spontanious and act like theres nothing to lose, I wasn't lying when I said I wanted to control the earth aspect of my quirk. Ill never admit it if someone asks, but sometimes the only way I can sleep at night is knowing how strong my quirk is. Knowing that they cant hurt me if I stay strong.

Still, it just seems that as I grow older, the people trying to get to be get bolder and more powerful. Some might even say...they get smarter, too. Thats a scary thought; that if I want to stay alive at all I need to be constantly improving. I am not sure if I want to stay alive or not, but Ill be damned if dying or living isnt my choice.

Feeling the need to break the silence, I began my rant on all the reasons I had come up with that justify my actions. I was planning it on the way out here.

"Look, im sorry mr.woods. I know im not very heroic and shit, but when perverts to pervert things somebody has to do something, and its not like anybody else there would have scared a glance if I didnt save myself-"

"Your wrong."

"Huh- I wasnt done. Anyways i-"

"L/n you are wrong."

"Dude im trying to-"

"There was heroes on patrol, how else did you think i found you? There were real heroes ready to protect you, if you had simply shouted people would have been alarmed of such. I dont understand kids and their need to do everything alone." He rolled his eyes behind his mask and continued to stare at me.

"Excuse me but I dont think your in a place to comment on how I react to myself being touched. He was gonna get my skin dirty and for what, two seconds of his school girl fantasy. Ew."

"Your skin....dirty?"

"Yes, he is nowhere near my standards on someone who should be allowed to touch me...not even a brush of the fingers..ugh!"

"Alright well, I cant get you in trouble because then I get in trouble...so, tell me about your quirk while we go on patrol."

His chair sqeaked against the floor as he stood up and it slid back. Then he motioned for me to follow by painting out the door.

Relieved that I didn't have to talk about all the fake reasons people aren't allowed to touch me, and that I could finally get outside so my quirk would stop suffocating me, I was quick to exit the building.

I'm not sure if its the fact that ive only been using a forth of her, but my quirks side effects have been so shitty recently. To the point that our school nurse estimsted my new rate for being inside for an extended period of time was about three hours.

I havent actually combusted in years, but I've been close and god does it hurt. My chest starts to squeeze and I can feel all the energy drain from my body, then pieces of me start to get hold and cold at the same time.

"So what really is your quirk?"

I looked up at the hero next to me as we continued on down the street of the inner City.

"How much did Aizawa tell you?"

"I-he said...she has all the right elements? And told me I'd figure it out.." He scratched the back of his head.

I smirked at that. Who knew aizawa actually listened to the words I said. I was pretty sure after the whole sulking chrollos dick thing, he would have permanently tuned me out.

"Heh, that raggedy ann bastard" I smile smugly.

"So, what does it mean?"

"Ahh, okay so, did you go to U.A?"

"Um yes kid, why?"

Then im certain je knows of my family, explaining my quirk will be easier. God, this really is my favorite part.

I reached my left hand out, knowing he was right handedly and would respond well to it and then spoke.

"Hi, nice to meet you, im y/n l/n of the elementus royal quirk family."

Once he shook my hand I did a polite curtsey, as I learned in ballet to do that instead of bowing. Its much more fun to do this at family event, where I get to wear big dresses and pretend im important...but this'll have to do.

"The-i-oh shit..." He mumbled the last part in defeat, likely just figuring out what he'd gotten himself in to.

"So, im guessing you've got ...."

"Total control, yup" I confirmed.

"And you wanna focus on earth elements, like what flowers?"

I smirk up at him allowing my aura to put an intimidating facade.

"Actually I was thing more like venus fly traps" as I said traps I let my hands clap together mimicking the plant and bit at the air with my teeth.

He stopped walking and just glanced from side to side, waiting for me to start making sense again.

Until we heard some crying in the distance.

The two of our heads shot over and were met with a strange sight. There were three young boys, looked about 8¿ and a man, hero maybe? Crouched in front of them not looking all that nice. He had spike blonde hair, red eyes, gauntlets on his wris-

"Oh my god its bakugou, look sir! Thats the hot guy I switched schools for!"

"Wha-"

"BAKUGOUUUU!! HEYYY!"

his head slowly shifted from the kids to me and it seemed to only make him more angry. Then, once again I couldn't help but bask in the pure aggression...in his eyes.

They were red, fitting for the anger thry held, but it was beautiful. It was passionate, the way he could yell for hours about god knows what because he cares. He may care about petty things, or silly things, but he always cares so much. So passionately. That I can see it in his eyes.

"Oh my, whAt is this costume deary?"best jeanist spoke from ahead of us as we approach.

"Hi sir, sorry about the skin showing, my quirk is heavily enhanced the more my pours are exposed to the natural elements, especially oxygen. If I was more covered parts of my body would begin to go completely numb. Also doesnt my body look amazing! Im a lot more in shape since you saved me last"

I blamed happily at jeanist. Though we arent neceserilly close, he is definitely a great hero and has always been someone who easily sees through my façaude. Plus his fashion sense is wonderful and I often send him pictures of my outfits. Although he doesnt respond I know he sees them and if they were bad he would be mean about it instead of ignoring it.

"Well. It definitely gives your body..access to that. And the sword?"

Ahh...the sword that I liked to carry. It was now stored in its place on my back.

"Call it a good luck charm, plus, we cant rely only on our quirks, then we are just weak people with strong powers. Rather than strong people."

I was always one to put on a show for him, as I do for lost of pro heroes. Its a lot more fun to say things like your all serious and fancy and smart sometimes. Its my little inside joke with myself, like to laugh at how easily people are awed by it.

Like how even though children were still crying bakgou was staring at me face void of emotion, completely struck at my words.

Definitely not..staring at my body that was exposed. Not eyeing the tight strap that wraps my left leg, that he doesnt know is a funcional lasso.

Noticing him, im quick to avert my attention.

"Hey bakugou~"

"Tch you really went from shitty princess to slutty princess huh?"

"You really went from telling deku you'd be number one hero, to making kids cry on the street, huh?" I challenged

I heard the crying boys laugh a little, just the age reminded me of my brother, Im sure they have nothing in common, but I havent seen any of my brothers in quite some time so I suppose a small part of me was just projecting.

I hated that they were crying, though. Ussually I dont like kids, they are stinky and gross and the main reason people have been ruining my life up til now. However, noticing these three reacting to bakugou in a way I wish emotionally available enough for, it made me feel obligated to help them. Wierd, huh.

"Hey, did that guy use his fire all scary?"

"Yeah, he was gonna kill us"

"Fires scary."

I giggled a bit, I knew fire like the back of my hand. It was the first thing I mastered as a child and the way I see bakugou use it doesnt to the element justice.

"Hm, well, I dont think so...can I show you something?"

The kid in the middle, apparently the braver of them, lifted his gaze from the concrete to meet my eyes. Just as I crouched down to my knees in front of them he nodded up at me.

I smiled at this, proud that I earned his trust for...some odd reason.

My hands formed a cup shape in front of him and I focused my ears so I could hear the blood rushing through my own brain, like waves. This was how I learned to use elements singularly: by using my internally noise to block out everything else.

I first allowed a small line of fire to dance around, now bigger than a candle wick. Then through another, and another as the boy watched carefully. Not yet impressed his face was still caustious. However I continued focusing my energy, feeling my body, the air around me, the heat of the sun, even remember the passion from bakugous crimson eyes.

I as I did so the many small flames twirled and twisted within eachother forming into a beautiful blue and orange fluctuating flower.

The boy looked into my hands mouth now agape, tears dried, fear gone. Then, again, for some reasons unbeknownst to me... I felt a sense of pride.

He tapped his friends so they would look up and I continued making my fire into different things, birds, planes, people. The kids were entranced.

I looked back to see the two pros staring at me with a certain level of pride mixer with shock. While bakugou seemed at a loss for words. God knows why this time?

"I don't think fire is all that bad you know..."

"Pft, yeah, I know kid," with that I threw my little flames above their heads and let the sparks fall down of them like shiny glitter. Then, overwhelmed with this horrible feeling in my chest. I retreatdd to my boss for the weak. Was that..happiness? Ew.

[dreamsoffools]

Omg hiii I saw ur tags about Anne and omfg I love it so much... omg everything ur saying about Anne being justified in her 'overdramaticness' is so right hahahaha! Honestly I'm so happy w the series and I don't really get the criticism? It was literally everything that I wanted to be, but I think ppl are loyal to the 80's version (I haven't seen that one tho I've only read the books!). I'm totally down to talk to u about the series!

ugh ok

I hope you’re ok with my answering this publicly because I feel like discussing Anne with an E is v important.

Spoilers below!

Ok so my frames of reference/comparison are the book and the 80s series which for some reason we watched in primary school and I fell in love

Overall I was very pleasantly surprised with the series. Anne particularly was fantastically cast., they really got it spot on with her.  I also really liked Marilla’s casting. The sets were fantastic, as was the costuming. I was also really impressed with the child actors. They were all interesting and pretty good actors!

Gilbert is a little too heart throbby for me but I can see where they’re going with it. The minute he became a tragic hero I was converted :(

The things I don’t like…. the pseudo dramatics with Matthew chasing Anne back, getting knocked out and being rescued… but it wasn’t even part of the plot? Didn’t affect the ep at all? Seemed like a way to fill out time in the ep, but a very expensive filler. Some transitions or scenes in the series felt very short and rushed… as if they hadn’t been written properly, or had been seriously edited down.

The theme song seems a little polarising and tbh it’s not for me. But I’m a traditionalist tbh and if you’re going to give me a period show I need fairly period esque titles, otherwise it drags me out of the show.

HATED what they did with Matthew. He would never, ever try and kill himself to save them. That was dumb and completely sucked me out of the story. Generally I thought he was written kinda poorly compared to the rest of the characters. I didn’t find his romantic storyline particularly compelling either.

I watch it for Marilla, Anne and the kids. And the occasional Rebecca. She’s fantastic.

The whole Anne with PTSD thing I don’t mind. I thought I wouldn’t like it so much but after watching it I was like yeah, this all fits. They don’t drag it up too much to make it just for DRAMA. 

I love that they kept Anne’s joy. Ugh she is such a good character to read. I’m so glad that I found her when I was a kid

hoping it comes back for s2!! Very excited to see more