#and i feel like a lot of people will have something and they dont like it so they just discard it?
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so you want a coach?
tw: mentions of dubious consent
fine, if you want to put yourself in harms way i can't stop you, let this post be a warning.
a lot of you guys think that sending nudes is special
"im willing to send nude bodychecks so its ok!"
no, it's not
they won't be satiated with that
nude bodychecks are something that is demanded multiple times a week. some coaches dont even care for nudes because in reality they're waiting for you to fuck up, because then they have a reason to punish you.
90% of the time, this will be harming or humiliating yourself in a sexual way. slowly they'll push, making these punishments more extreme and sometimes even more public
and now you feel bound to this person because they have multiple naked pictures of you at their discretion
you try to say no and back away
"but you'll spiral"
"sorry, i thought you cared about being skinny"
your weight loss isn't their main priority
a person with an ed is vulnerable, so they use that vulnerability to make you tied to them send them sexual things as a form of punishment
and in return they watch you lose your curves and slowly become even more attracted to you as you start to look more and more like a child
running this blog has made me come across people like that. constantly. it's the same formula every god damn time
but if you being skinny is really worth sacrificing your entire identity, then go ahead
- anon
#@n@ coach#ed coach#ana c0ach#light as a feather#ed but not ed sheeran#tw ana bløg#tw 3d vent#3d not sheeran#tw ana rant#@na motivation#34t1ng d1s0rd3r#tw ed ana#3d f4st
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In this time it's important to remember that just because I wasn't Doing A Harm, doesn't mean that the other person isn't reacting to a very real Harm that's been being foisted on them with lots of damage points.
What I was doing maybe just looked similar to A Harm, and it was the 5000th little dismissal that broke the sanity's back. This does not mean that I was Doing A Harm, and I dont need to take on that burden. But it was legitimately Harm Shaped to them, and probably through a pretty fucking reasonable filter, tbh. So maybe we can make some not taking it personally for them.
But even if -oh shit- I *did* Do A Harm, well then that's just something to look at, fess up, find an actual apology for, and try to do different next time. It's usually (in the context of the internet) not a big enough Do Harm that I need to flail around about it.
BUT. Sometimes, my response to being told I'm Doing A Harm, is going to be to get pretty offended and fucking indignant, because I too have had people Do Harms to me, and I have my own filters for that shit running, all the time.
Right now, I think we're all entitled to some overreactions, and overreactions to those overreactions. That's really reasonable in this moment especially. We are freaking the fuck out, each in our own ways. I want us to all do our best to make space for overreacting to be happening, in other people AND in ourselves. And we don't have to double down to be right and righteous about whatever we were standing up for. We can just be like damn yeah I was overreacting bc of my own Harms received.
And in this back and forth, let us do our best to remember that who we're actually mad at, and who is Really Doing The Harms, is probably not any of us here.
I honestly think it's okay if we need to get a little messy right now. I think that's what the original reaction was saying. Human processing is not known to be a tidy process. What we *can* do is try to limit our Do Harms as much as possible, without contorting ourselves out of having needs and feelings, because that's just turning the Do Harms onto ourselves, which is just as much Harm, with just as much cleanup necessary afterwards.
There really should be a close that ties this all up nicely at the end, but I am wrecked y'all and have run out of wording brain. If anyone want to tie the things up tidy for me I am super down.
my other grounding technique is remembering that the earliest abolitionists & the earliest suffragists had no proof that the world would ever make possible what they fought for and indeed many of them did not live to see it come to pass. and yet they did not succumb to despair so it would be disrespectful to their memory to let it overtake me
#i love the shit outta yall#humans#damage points#freaking the fuck out#conflict#communication#support#community#queer stuff#sigh#this is hard#help
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random astro observations part 14. ⋆.˚🦋༘⋆✨
✨just for fun im just talking random ass shit based on PERSONALL observations..✨ part 13 here. 🎬
tw: mention of death on the last observations.
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅pisces, cancer and scorpio risings WILLL be treating the date like a job interview. With that earth 7h (virgo, capricorn and taurus) TRUST that we have checked out your references and will get back to you in 2-5 business days. 💅 but no fr we need security bc we are real strict over here.🔒
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅its only to protect our hearts bc we just truly desire someone we can emotionally connect with (water 5h) and also be open to talk to about our fears and desires and the other shit we keep to ourselves (air 8h + 12h) 😤
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅my friend was telling me about how the lines that actors get immense praise for end up being improvised most of the time and that really reminded me of the aqua-leo axis. When you detach and are willing to experiment (aqua) the more likely you are to be recognized because you are becoming in tune with your natural talents (leo).
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅Every single time I'm in the shower I always get an epiphany or an idea of some sort or make a connection (usually its me thinking about peoples birth charts LOL) but every single fucking time im like wtf I gotta remember this when I get out this is good ass info! and I always forget!!!
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅^ It has to be my uranus in the 12h triggering that. Uranus= sudden downloads of information. 12h= secluded spaces, like the shower. I guess thats why I forgot so easily though (real 12h subconcious shit). Next time im bringing a whiteboard in there or some shit
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ I was talking to my pisces venus coworker and she was saying that for as long as she could remember she had always daydreamed of love. She said she would was always trying to mold herself into the ideal version of what her crushes liked (its in her 7h) and as a 7h sun myself I was shook but I also understood how this happens even in a subconcious way u can mirror people. but the love she's looking for is literally HERS. she has so much love to give and she was like who can accept this? YOU. GIVE it to yourself.
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ She had been in a relationship before with someone who was SHIT person but its like she kept forgiving him or in a sense blocking it out. like thats the thing about pisces placements they will talk about some unhinge ass shit someone does to them in a such a casual way it will have you being like oh okay for a sec until you're like oh,, oh yeah no thats bad.. really bad. I say this as a pisces rising.
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ and AGAIN AND AGAIN that's what helps me as someone with a lot of neptune aspects, a pisces rising, pluto squares, pluto in the 10h, lilith in the 11h, like ppl have done me FUCKING DIRTY in social and groups settings and I use to make it so much worse for myself by not nipping it in the bud. that's why anytime someone does some shit that FEELS FUCKED up you take that as a sign.
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ^ dont sit there and try to rationalize it, dont try to put logic in it, dont talk about how well, when they were in 2nd grade their hamster died so maybe its their trauma. When people show you who they are you ACCEPT IT. if someone does something that a piece of shit would only do, then accept that maybe they suck. I dont mean your friend forgot to get you a straw when they bought you a drink. I mean when people do shit on purpose that puts your well-being (emotional, mental, physical) in harms way. trust me bby ik what im talking about >___<
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ and honestly, if you are plutonian or have a lot of neptune aspects or saturn in your chart as well, you're gonna learn shit the hard way. With different energy ofc. Pluto energy = will have you learning through trauma like someone passing away or trying to sabotage you. Neptune energy = will have you learning through deception like someone backstabbing you. Saturn energy= will have you learning through roadblocks, like other people being able to get shit the easy way out like a parent paying for their stuff and you having to bust your ass to get it.
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ pluto in your chart can also show where people try to humble you, not like a saturnian restrictive way but more like to put you in your place because they could feel intimidated. for ex I have pluto in the 10h and my coworkers will say backhanded shit like "Oh woooow you really are going all out huh?" like instead of being normal and being like wow that is great work! they try to subtly hint that maybe im the one doing too much instead of it being them doing the bare minimum.
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ If you have pluto in the 1h people could just say in general that "you're too much" or "too much to deal with" or "abrasive." Pluto in the 3h and during conversations people might look around, eyes wide, wanting you to tone it down or say that you're being inappropriate or too intense. Pluto in the 4h and people ESPECIALLY your family trying to humble you by bringing up the past: "Oh you like that now? I remember when you were a kid you..." Pluto in the 4h will especially get humbled by their family anytime they want to change or try something different than the way they were raised, like girl?! this is a family not a damn CULT.
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ I have a pluto in the 4h friend who has family members that will tell the most fucked up stories about what they do to each other but then sigh and be like "but family is family so we have to accept them" or her family members say stuff like "blood is thicker than water." like no... pluto in the 4h ppl, family is who YOU CHOSE!
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ I have a coworker who is sooo nice to me but still theres something that makes me feel suspicious of her and it makes me feel so bad BUT TO BE FAIR she does have her mars in my 7h and we did have a slight rift when we first started working together. but even now, im still like do u secretly hate me...
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ She has mars in the 12th house and I also feel like thats a big factor in it because 12h house energy is so... MUTED. with placements there you really gotta focus on peoples subtle acts of support that reveal their intentions versus their words (or lack of). And so far she has been a very supportive and helpful coworker. But yeah thats 12h energy honestly like my friends brother is a cancer sun and mercury in the 12h and she feels like hes so unloving and unsupportive and its bc baby boy is not gonna be straight up telling her! she needs to watch his actions, his mannerisms. she needs to understand him more through his actions over time rather than words. ofc it varies from chart to chart.
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ people with 12h mars could often have people WONDERING, "oh are they mad at me?" or sun 12h ppl could have people wondering, "oh what are they hiding from me?" or mercury in the 12h could have people wondering, "Oh, what is that they are not saying?"
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ Do you follow your profection years? For me, it’s wild how they line up. When I was in a 7H year, I got into my first serious relationship (classic 7H relationships vibe). When I was 7 years old, in my 8H year, my dad passed away (8H ruling death). Fast forward to my 9H year (travel), I visited family abroad after four years—that’s the longest I’ve EVER gone without seeing them.Then, in my 10H year (careers), I literally started my career. My 12H year? traumatic as fuck (I got into a serious car accident with friends and my back was fucked up and my friend had internal bleeding) but honestly the aftermath of that really forced me to grow the fuck up and surprise surprise, all of that happened bc I wasnt trusting my gut on who I was hanging out with. but anyhoo. Now I’m in a 1H year, and it’s all about me. I’m actually focusing on myself and being way more gentle in the process. It’s been kind of nice, honestly. if u wanna know yours just google annual profections it'll show u the wheel :)
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ Saturn transits in your chart mean fucking BUSINESS! I remember my friend got married when saturn (commitments) was transiting her 7h (marriage/ contracts). Saturn transits will have you reflecting on what you want long term in your life and what desperately needs to be checked in on or discarded or cleaned up.
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ Saturn in pisces transiting in my first house had me acting right. I remember when a "friend" aka someone who was at fault with that whole car accident shit (someone who I dont speak to anymore) had asked me to do some shady shit after it. I was like FUCK NO! no bc 1) I have integrity but also 2) if I tried to take the easy way out or bullshit I knew saturn was gonna beat my ass HARDER. im glad I trusted myself and was the bigger person.
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ Saturn was still transiting my 1H during the accident, but it had just come out of my 12H, where I was actively in therapy. In my 1H, I’d been feeling way more at peace and healed, so when I started making questionable choices with who I was hanging out with, it was like Saturn decided it was time to knock some sense into me.
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ Me: walking on the ledge, ignoring my instincts, hanging with toxic people Saturn: "Don’t do that, you’re gonna fall." Me: falls Saturn: "DIDN’T I FUCKING TELL YOUUU?!"
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ but you know you live and you learn and at the end of the day it could have been so much worse (aka all of us being dead) but me and friend made a full recovery and everyone else had minor injuries.
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ I was watching this video called "the root cause of addiction" and in the video he said that at the end of the day we're are just looking for ways to go back to that child we once were and to experience genuine joy. and that was so 5h coded to me. He said in the video we do things like cooking or play video games because we want to get that joy back. The 5th house is all about sex, good fortune, art, creativity, pleasure, entertainment, birth, children. We really can use our 5th house to actively nurture our inner child.
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ for example, cancer or moon in the 5th house wants to go back to space where they feel safe, warm, and comfortable. feeling free to express ur softness and vulnerability. a place you love going back to! they can do this through cooking, baking, or watching your childhood favorite movie with family.
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ the little things, like baking a pie or getting out an old art project help us connect with the childlike wonder and happiness that we still have inside us. You can find your own special, simple pleasures by looking into the 5th House in your chart. And even if ur childhood was not the best (I completely get that) you can nurture your inner child now !! your hobbies and fave past times r not silly they matter too
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ and think about the 5h-11h axis, if anything your hobbies and creativity (5h) helps you find your people and be in groups that actually align with what u love and care about (11h)
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚and think about how sometimes that hobby or passion (5h) can bring u immense success, recognition and profit (11h)
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ with pluto in aqua we are going to see people (aqua) transforming (pluto) their lives in all aspects in regard to their hobbies and passions (5h). People are gonna continue to explore what they love and find their niche and for some their success will skyrocket over night, for others the process might be slower. think about the ppl making bank rn from tiktok videos organizing their fridge. bc it just makes them happy to do it.
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ tw: death. I'm not trying to end on a dark note, its merely a thought I had so please take this with a grain of salt. but speaking of pluto in aqua, that reminds me of this video I was watching about how the Romans would have the Gladiatorial games, where combatants fought each other or wild animals to the death, BECAUSE they were so overindulgent in all other areas in life....
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ like you have sooo much that your idea of pleasure just gets distorted in this sense. what do you want when you have had everything?. The scale of these events was astonishing, with sometimes hundreds of animals being killed in a single day. Pluto in aqua is going to transform the way as a society we view, experience and talk about death.
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ there are ppl that are gonna have so much wealth and power and be so fucking bored that maybe in 20 years from now someone gets jailed or some shit to try to recreate that. I remember reading this story in high school about this rich man who had an isolated island and he would have people lost on it to hunt them for sport. iM NOT SAYING we're about to get put on the wall like those deers when pluto goes into aqua, im SAYING THO that shit like that, ideas like that, could pop up
⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ I was also thinking about how pluto in aqua could mean more video games or tech or simulations (aqua) where you can try out how it feels like to die (pluto). like you can pick how and what you want to feel. some kind of shit like that. tech is only gonna keep getting more and more advanced now. we talk about the ipad kids and how they be on there typing and facetiming ppl and therye like 2 but imagine the kids growing up during pluto in aqua, I already know theyre gonna think we're soo uncool hahaha
#astro observations#astro notes#astrology notes#astrology observations#astrology#random astro#random astro note#astrology for beginners#rxmxa#mars#leo#aqua#profection years#anual profection#saturn#saturn in pisces#pisces#pluto#pluto in aquarius
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celebrity energy⋆.ೃ࿔*:・👛🐩
i've written a post about celebrity energy before and in this post i kinda wanted to add onto what was said in that post and incorporate new info and sections…💬🎀
THE IT FACTOR ;
the it factor is the ability to capture people's attention. its about ur aura, ur identity, ur PRESENCE. you dont have to be "born with it" like a lot of people like to say, it is something that can be achieved.
so essentially ur gonna wanna get into a state where there is no fear. literally eliminate it. use the alter ego effect, affirm until ur fears dissipate, WHATEVER works for u but u just wanna get into a state where there is no fear because thats when ur truly magnetic.
MORE ON SELF CONCEPT ;
we've been conditioned to believe certain things about ourselves, whether its negative or positive and its our responsibility to rewire our brains and form those new assumptions so that then we can get back to our it factor and our hyper identity.
to get to a state where there is no fear you must also be able to hack ur nervous system. aka nervous system regulation. aka the best thing EVER…💬🎀
♡ breathing exercises and deep breathing ♡ humming to stimulate ur vagus nerve
THE TRIPLE C'S ;
while making the notes for celebrity energy (the big C) and i was able to umbrella it to three main points. those points being confidence, cuntiness, and charisma. 💕✍🏽
♡ confidence ; celebrities need to have undeniable confidence in themselves and their abilities. they're famous for a reason and they know that. work on ur self concept and watch ur confidence sky rocket.
♡ cuntiness ; to be cunty is to be feminine and aware of urself. be cunty in the things that u do and the way that u handle urself. to be cunty is to find the perfect balance of inner strength and delicateness. cunt = refined.
♡ charisma ; authenticity is the heart of charisma. be authentic and dont be afraid to take up space.
PERSONAL BRAND AND REPUTATION ;
to further touch on those points ur social media IS your brand. this section kind of ties in with the next but im trying to distinguish between the two. so ur personal brand is what u do. so lets say ur rly SUPER smart and ur known for getting A's on like everything.
that is ur personal brand and that comes with a reputation that u may or may not feel obligated to uphold. but its important to uphold a reputation of some sort. with that being said be careful of what u post on ur social media because DIGITAL FOOTPRINT IS REAL. and when people look at ur social media they're seeing a representation of what ur putting out to the world so always be mindful.
#honeytonedhottie⭐️#it girl#becoming that girl#self concept#advice#self care#self love#that girl#law of assumption#it girl energy#dream girl tips#dream girl#dream life#manifestation#manifestation tips#manifesting#celebrity energy#energy#hyper femininity#confidence#confidence tips#charisma#vibe#princess energy#princess#kill cringe#self awareness#self development
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and im sure there are so many people who did the same as your sister and had a great time, i never said it wasnt a bad time for them, i just meant like it feels like your kinda missing something. this is my opinion and i really didnt try to make it seem like a rude comment or gesture, i think the art is great, i was just trying to be funny about the rob thing. and characters being left out is fine, but to me, the core 4 are a tight knit group of friends who are always together, i dont see much of them separated. and your right, my ocd really isnt an excuse, im sorry about that. i truely dont mean to be rude to people, i just do things without thinking and thats on me for not making sure it was politer. and also a lot of the ruder messages about tim and whatever were meant for some for the others who i thought were commenting instead of you, they kept saying stuff that i probably should have agreed with but i was pissed and i will admit some shit i made up bc i hate being wrong.
also the insults were from my brother and friends on discord, i told them about this and i said someone started saying shit in another language to me and they said to send the stuff they sent me, so i did lol i dont really know anything but some of the swear words like fuck and asshole lol my bad for not reading them ig
TLH TRIO FOR HALLOWEEN!!!! (Ignore that this is two days late…..)
theyre going as cassie, kon, and bart (Or wondergirl, superboy, and impulse… bc i love dc. Leo put the most effort into his costume, jason dosnt knwo them he just got the suit, the jacket was too hot </3
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OKAY dont flame me for this, but heres a Saiki K hot take that I think shoukd be talked about more.
I feel like people REALLY have to start taking what Kuusuke did to Toritsuka more seriously, because its pretty bad the more you think about it.
⚠️Large TW for emotional manipulation and gr00ming undertones. ⚠️
(‼️if you're gonna debate please read all first‼️)
I can't find the specific panels, but what Kuusuke did to Toritsuka was taking advantage of him, he pried on his insecurities.
Kuusuke was seen telling Toritsuka how much "better" he is than Kusuo, how he has better powers, how he should be put on a pedestal instead of stupid old Kusuo.
Toritsuka is seen before hand disliking his own powers. He want's more from them, he wants them to be less useless. Kuusuke knows this, because Toritsuka is honest and probably told him.
Instead of offering help, he pried in on that insecurity. By telling Toritsuka that he's better than Kusuo, that he's more important, Toritsuka was drawn in so quickly. He'd never really been told or praised for his power before, most people not believing him for being a Medium or others saying his powers are useless.
When Toritsuka was finally told by Kuusuke that he was better, that someone finally believed he was better than the person he always compared himself to.
Toritsuka seems easily impressionable, we don't get to see his father much if at all, and we haven't heard about his mother at all. Im assuming he lives in the temple with little to zero family, being raised by the temple instead of his own parents.
He probably lacked good life lessons, Toritsuka always goes to others for help, he begs because its all he most likely knows how to do.
Kuusuke knows this, and he uses it against him. He knows Toritsuka has a grudge against Kusuo for his powers, he knows Toritsuka is insecure about his own, he knows Toritsuka is vunerable with this information.
And what does he do? He emotionally manipulates Toritsuka into helping him attack Kusuo with the Cat Tank.
Yeah, you could be thinking, well Kuusuke is a bad person mostly in a whole(I could go on and on about why he is the way he is), and that he's bound to manipulate others into doing what he wants, but when you really think about it, Kuusuke is an 19/20 year old adult that took advantage of a 16 year old kid.
Could it be considered that Kuusuke technically groomed Toritsuka? Grooming is not always 'adult takes advantage of a child for something explicit', grooming can be taking advantage of a child for something in return. It's not always for the other, much worse, option, I'm not saying Kuusuke is a kiddy diddler, im saying he groomed Toritsuka to get what he wanted, which was to attack Kusuo.
I have seen someone talk about this before, I can't remember who but someone had mentioned the gravity of it and the strange undertones of what Kuusuke did to Toritsuka, finding a child and taking advantage of his insecurities to get what he wants through emotional manipulation.
I know you could say that 'Kuusuke is about only 19/20, he's not much older than Toritsuka who is 16/17' But that is heavily, heavily besides the point. The point is that Kuusuke is still an adult. Kuusuke is known to be one of the smartest people to live. Toritsuka is a child, and Toritsuka is still in school.
Again, please understand I'm not saying Kuusuke is a kiddy diddler. I don't want people to flame me for 'thinking that.' Kuusuke obviously has a lot of problems of his own, and emotional manipulation is something he is used to doing and probably doesn't even realise he's doing it because it helps him get what he wants.
I can see how its just emotional manipulation, and I am willing to hear anybody out on this and debate(politely), and if i'm wrong I will admit I am wrong.
But AGHH this has really been eating at my brain. Kuusuke manipulating Toritsuka using his insecurities and stuff to get what he wants is just super weird to me. Kuusuke is obviously a more creepy character, and I believe if the anime were more serious it would play a lot more on that fact.
But yeah, this is what I believe what happened. Again, its a really heavy topic so if you guys wanna tell me im wrong you can tell me im wrong and I will hear you out. I was just thinking about it and after seeing one person mention it a while back its been in the back of my mind for a while.
Not saying its wrong to love Kuusuke, I know the fandom is split on him. I personally don't care about whether someone loves him or not, cause one side you can say he got his freak off to his brother, but the other side says he was just excited and not doing anything weird. Kuusuke is a really interesting character and I really wanna do a big essay on him like this soon.
But yeah thats all I had to say, just remember if you guys wanna tell me im wrong you can tell me im wrong and I will hear you out.
(can you guys tell i dont wanna be destroyed)
#saiki kuusuke#kuusuke saiki#reita toritsuka#toritsuka reita#saiki kusou no psi nan#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#hot take#please dont hate me#lmao#saiki kusuke#kusuke saiki#the disaster of psi kusuo saiki#saiki k#saiki no psi nan
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fantasy high hc ! all the bad kids know sign language (solesian sign language? their own made up sign? probably both lets be honest)
(semi/)nonverbal gorgus/riz being able to communicate easily with their friends if speech is hard or theyre overwhelmed, i also hc that adaine loses speech when she gets really anxious or stressed about something no im not projecting
also hoh fig my beloved, she started losing her hearing when her horns grew in and the whole being a rockstar thing probably doesnt help, she has hearing aids (special made and enhanced by gorgugs tinkering) but they dont fix her hearing 100% and hearing aids are not comfy to wear 24/7 so being able to take them out and still communicate is great
(sorry for the ramble lol)
⚡️
Yessss I love this
They get the idea sometime during freshman year, everyone is hanging out at Riz’s place and it’s just very very loud and Riz has not been having a good day before that and Fig kept punching his arm all bro-ey and he ended up hiding in the kitchen signing with his mom, Fig recognized it when she went to go get a snack and joined in (she had tried to learn it when her horns grew in, it’s really janky but she’s trying her best) and Riz was just so excited to have somebody else know it
Fabian has the most trouble learning it, he tends to gesture vaguely a lot with his hands while talking so having to talk with his hands very specifically is weird for him, but he puts in the effort for his friends
Adaine starts teaching herself it (her father thinks it’s unpractical, she has comprehend languages if she really needs it, so she usually goes to the school library and practices there) and then once she picks it up she helps teach the other Bad Kids
Kristen already knows some from doing outreach with the church (they were culty but they weren’t fully ableist) but it’s mainly religious words so it’s pretty much as broken as her Elvish, she does pick it up surprisingly quickly (despite her abysmal dexterity)
Gorgug knows a few specific words his parents taught him when he was little (he was not very good at thinking clearly enough to communicate when he was overwhelmed so it’s mainly just words like “mad” “sad” and “loud” that he can sign really quickly), him and Fabian have study sessions for while once they start learning and figure out they’re both abysmal at it
Fig steals her moms card and signs up for lessons before figuring out that not a single one of these people know how to sign conversationally (she’s the only actual hoh person in there including the teacher who is just so condescending like she’s aware of how to sign the word yes she’s not inept) so she quits after like day two and learns with Adaine
Riz learned how to sign when he was like 6 (his parents thought it would be a useful life skill but they also figured out it both gave his hands something nondestructive to do and a way to communicate during meltdowns so they worked extra hard to teach him) and he helps the others out with their signing (mainly Fabian and Gorgug)
If they don’t want to be overheard they have a tendency of slipping into sign language, which is very confusing when they go from the loudest corner ever to literal silence+the smacking of hands
Fig tries to very discreetly talk shit with Fabian and Adaine in front of Jawbone by signing except Jawbone decided to learn sign the first week he was counselor so she got in trouble anyways (he did not let her use the “but im disabled” card to get out of it)
Fig tries to be her own translator at concerts (“Adaine can make a simulacra it’ll be cool!”) but her label said no
Fabian tends to use sign language any time he’s at a party and doesn’t feel like ruining his voice for the night just to chat with his friends
Gorgug thinks it’s really funny to sign curse words in front of teachers and then lie about what they mean (especially Porter in Junior year he thinks it’s hilarious)
#such a fun headcanon and you’re totally not rambling this is awesome!#autism (mads) speaks#mads answers asks#fantasy high#dimension 20#fhjy#d20#dimension 20 fantasy high#d20 fantasy high#fantasy high junior year#the bad kids#riz gukgak#fabian aramais seacaster#fabian seacaster#gorgug thistlespring#kristen applebees#fig faeth#adaine abernant
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All that I wanted to tell you is that it's not a good idea to go on people's post and comments this way- even if it wasn't your intention, it comes off as unvalidating. I was just making a point on how 99% of "asexual positivity" posts revolve around "ace people can still engage and enjoy sex!" And it's extremely rare nowaday to find posts that validate repulsed asexual. All that I'm saying is, you got a lot of posts with people with the same experience as you. But don't go around posts from people with the opposite experience as you, who are desperately trying to seek reassurance, and just dismiss them- voluntarily or not.
I know "this is the internet" blablabla, but yes, it is, indeed, the internet, and you can go in asexual tags and find people who relate to you- dont go on the only repulsed-ace posts, even if you didnt have bad intentions. "This is the internet" doesn't excuse people for having a poor behaviour. We have next to no "safe space", and even if it wasn't your intention, things like this hurts us more than you can realise. I'm just telling you to do better, because this isn't at all what you should do.
I'm going to make an extreme comparison but to me it feels the same as if I made a post venting about my dying dog, and you replied with something like "well my dog is fine". Good for you, but it isn't at all what the original poster needs to hear right now, and it does more harms than good, even if all you wanted to do is try to be positive.
This isn't an attack on you, your identity or your experience. I'm simply telling you that there are things that you shouldn't do, online spaces or not.
If you want a post that's brutally honest about how we feel, read this:
In honour of ace week, and because I don't hear it enough:
REPULSED ASEXUALS EXISTS AND ARE AS VALID AS OTHERS
IT'S OK TO BE DISGUSTED BY SEX
IT'S OK TO NEVER WANTING TO DO IT
VIRGIN ISNT AN INSULT
YOU DON'T NEED AN EXCUSE TO NOT LIKING OR WANTING IT
SEX ISN'T WHAT MAKES US HUMAN
IT ISN'T VITAL
IT'S NOT SHAMEFUL TO NEVER DO IT
YOU DON'T NEED TO "TRY IT" TO KNOW THAT YOU HATE IT
IT'S NOT CHILDISH TO BE GROSSED OUT BY IT
IT'S FINE IF YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN PEOPLE TALK ABOUT IT
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT AND PEOPLE SHOULD RESPECT YOUR BOUNDARIES
YOU ARE NOT BROKEN EVEN IF PEOPLE INSIST THAT YOU ARE
FUCK APHOBES AND FUCK PEOPLE WHO MAKE FUN OF PEOPLE WHO HATE SEX
YOU AREN'T ANY LESS VALID
WHEN SOMEONE IS BEING APHOBIC, INSTEAD OF SAYING "BUT SOME ACES DO ENJOY SEX", SAY "IT ISN'T AN ISSUE NOT WANTING IT"
YOU ARE SO VALID IF YOU ARE A REPULSED ACE PLEASE NEVER FORGET THAT!!!!
PEOPLE ARE JUST BEING CREEPS IF THEY INSIST THAT YOU MUST DO IT
IT'S OK IF YOU'RE NOT THE STEREOTYPICAL "ASEXUAL WHO WRITES SMUT AND MAKES SEX JOKES"
IT'S OK SKIPPING UNCOMFORTABLE SCENES IN MOVIES AND SHOWS
IT'S OK TO NEVER DO IT IN YOUR LIFE
THE WHOLE "OLD PERSON WITH CATS" ISNT EVEN AN INSULT CUZ IT SOUNDS DOPE AF NGL
ALSO IT'S OK TO BE MAD WHEN YOU HEAR PEOPLE CLAIMING HOW GOOD SEX IS AND ALL THE "IT'S HEALTHY" BULLSHIT BECAUSE NO YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DIE EARLIER BECAUSE YOU DON'T DO IT
ALSO ITS NOT A SHAMEFUL THING TO NOT DO ANYTHING YOURSELF EITHER
AND ITS ALSO OK IF YOU EVEN STRUGGLE TO SPELL SOME WORDS OUT BECAUSE OF YOUR REPULSION
IF YOU'RE AN ADULT YOU'RE VALID AND YOU DON'T NEED TO DO IT IN ORDER TO BE VALID AS AN ADULT
YOU'RE NOT MISSING OUT ON ANYTHING
YOU ARE QUEER ENOUGH !! YOU DESERVE A PLACE IN THE LGBT COMMUNITY, AND YOUR VOICE DESERVES TO BE HEARD!!
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Jason Epsiode 9 Thoughts
Yesterday I played whatever I could of episode 9 on Jason's route and finished watching the rest on youtube, so I wanna share my thoughts (generally speaking tho, I actually enjoyed the episode! it was honestly refreshing after.... everything, lol)
beware of spoilers under the cut <3
Okay, this was quite surprising for me. From what I had spoiled myself already I could tell that I was going to like some things about the episode, but I was not expecting to feel overall so positive about it!
From the beginning, I personally really liked all the tidbits of the common route. I liked seeing Tasha and Zahra play cards (seeing their relationship and how close and friendly they seem, what they like, etc), and I also liked the time spent with the inters, they were fun and I generally enjoy seeing the MC interact with other characters. I did miss some more interaction with the other routes, I chose Thomas to work with and honestly it felt like he was barely even there :/ it would have been fun to see him more with the interns and talk about the project he was working on. I don't know, I like this type of "filler" stuff that tells you about the characters and how they act and interact with other people and in different situations, it makes them feel more 3d and real and I fell like this is something the game lacks a LOT. It's nice that we are very focused on our route from the get go cause we get many moments with them, but at the same time it makes the experience very isolating and you dont get to know anyone much besides your route (you also have way less chances to get affinity with other characters, which bothers me honestly, I don't like feeling "locked" with the LI i chose). It gets boring for me but I understand that's just preference and that many people prefer this, so I appreciated all the common route moments we had this episode.
Now, Jason.
God, I absolutely loved it, the more I think about it the more I like it. I liked getting to know more about him, I liked the vulnerable moments, the looks to the side, the sad face, the smidge of angst. The special scene was cute, he looked so soft and kind while keeping that playful air. I wish they had some more banter and more jokes but I liked how they interacted in this episode and how it seemed llike 2 actual adults subtly flirting and connecting. He was very charming here.
HOWEVER, I need to be honest and mentioned all the stuff I didn't like at all.
First of all, it really bothers me that in the spanish version the characters don't seem to have a defined speech style at all. The way Jason speaks sometimes feels SO weird and it doesn't fit him at all. It takes me out so much to hear him speak like that.
Then the writing is... ugh. It feels like it has not been proof read at all, so many repetitiveness? It takes me out of the story a lot and honestly, it feels poor quality and that it has little care put into it
And it really bothers me how they repeated AGAIN the whole "i have never seen him smiled genuinely like this" GIRL YOU DID ????? ON EPISODE 7 ????? YOU SAID THE SAME THING THEN ????? is anyone editing these dialogues be honest with me beemoov
Lastly, my biggest enemy this game: Ysaline
I really, REALLY, don't like her. It bothers me how utterly dramatic she is with the whole "deal with the devil" bullshit (and the amount of times this sentence has been repeated is so obnoxious, we GET IT, be original ffs). Specially cause what the actual fuck has this man done for you to antagonize him and judge him so much? 5 random people that you knew for 2 days told you he was bad and you ran with it, girl have some actual thoughts of your own and stop judging people you know shit about.
Because I am seriously asking, what has Jason done to be "THE DEVIL"? Work hard? Cause that's all I have seen.
(And where did that episode 5 stuff with the "You owe me a favor now" go ???? did everyone forget about this ???? this "deal with the devil" bullshit again ???? I was expecting this to be a relevant line but we are going on episode 10 and I only hear crickets, it has't even been mentionned I really hate how utterly disconnected the episodes feel and how we have literally no plot)
And god Ysaline gave me so much second hand embarassment when she kept accusing him og using Tasha to spy on Devenementiel ????? GIRL? First of all, you are the new hire of a 7 people company, what the fuck would your 16 year old sister have ???? Devenementiel doesnt even have confidential information why would Jason even CARE. This was EMBARASSING.
Also, Jason telling her that he motivated Tasha by telling her that Ysa would be better ?????? Bro what makes you think that, all you have seen of this woman is her being an absoute mess, doing the most stupid and ridicuous bullshit, NOT WORKING (miss girl was out strolling around the city looking for apartments during work hours, she barely even worked that day), and not being able to even organize a damn birthday party. What about this woman is capable or competent? Aren't you supposed to hate incompetent people? hm?
I really mean this but these two have so little chemistry that is DRY as a desert I don't understand what Jason could see in her cause everything we know about the character would point to him disliking her. In his route what would make sense is for Ysalinne to be super hard working person, someone competitive and very focused on her work that takes her professional life seriously. THAT is someone that I can see Jason liking and somewhat admiring and wanting by his side.
Anyway, tldr: I liked this episode, I hope we get more like this, I hope Ysaline grows the fuck up and I hope we have more fun banter and jokes and flirting instead of creepyness <3
#edit: lol i forgot some stuff oops#mcl#my candy love#mcl ng#mcl new gen#my candy love new gen#jason mendal#mcl ng jason#mcl ng jason mendal#mcl ng episode 9
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miss vegas. how do u survive in college. please give me some tips. i am barely hanging on by a thread and it's only my first year. how do u do it. also ilysm.
hi nonnie 🌞. omg ofc! i used to live on campus, i don’t anymore which is way easier for me— also, don’t stress. first year can always be a lot and extremely overwhelming but i got uuuuu !!!!!! love u too
it's a lot of things i wish i knew as my first year LOL. i guess one thing that is probably super basic, don’t procrastinate. just get your stuff done so you don’t have to worry about it later ☝️ it’s easier said than done, but trust you’ll feel a lot better once you finish your assignments / projects early n on time !!! also, staying up late while working on stuff — don’t do that. it’s not good for you, and i always did that eheh. waiting ‘till the last minute of 11:59 to finish essays nuh uh. do your stuff as soon as it get assigned, DONT PROCRASTINATE 🫵 also, go to all your orientations. do nawt skip them
sleeeeeep. you need lots of sleep, regardless of what year you’re in it’s very important. i wish i knew that as a freshman 😀😀😀. i would stay up all night doin work, especially on the weekends. certified loser nerd. also, set an alarm !!!! if you’re a heavy sleeper like me, set a fuck ton of them !!!! or uh… have someone wake you up. i used to oversleep a lot, a way to prevent this is to usually go to sleep earlier than you usually do ( from my experience )
if you’re on campus, have some sort of map / guide so you know where you’re going !!!!! on my first day i literally got lost right away and i barely knew much english so it was even more embarrassing LOL. beeeee prepared !!!! ☝️ do research on ur school, they should provide those things — also, try to get those things ahead of time before your courses start so you aren’t askin random ppl where one of your rooms are. of course, its okay to still get lost anyway. it happens. ask for help if needed but make sure you’re prepared !!!
you don’t necessarily need friends to “survive” in college. everyone’s experience is different, but i found my experience easier by just keepin my circle small 🫂. IM NOT SAYING TO BE A LONER, you can have / make friends throughout your years ofc !!! in college, you’ll meet the best and worst people of your life. your main priorities should be yourself and your studies — but you come first at the end of the day. friends will always come & go, but eventually you’ll stumble across some nice ppl who share the same interests as you !!!
there’s prob super more important details but for the last thing i’ll say this— don’t let your grades define you 💓. it sucks majorly to get bad marks on something, especially if you stayed up countless hours on it, givin it your all. i personally have / had a habit of doing that, but never let it define you. if you truly think you didn’t get the right grade for any number of reasons, you can always talk to your prof about it in private. but don’t stress ab it !!! always remember you matter first over some exam 🫵
#✰ミ݁ ׅ ࣪ asks.#🧁#everyone's college experience is different — but try to have fun !!!!#make the most of it. you aren't alone. ☝️#one step at a time xxx
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Ive seen at least two responses to your antigonism post saying that the word would be divisive because “transfems who are normal about transmascs are the norm” and I really truly do believe that’s probably the case but at the same time it personally feels a little dismissive?? I cant speak for all trans people obviously but I know A LOT of trans people, basically everyone in my life is trans- my blood sibling, all of my friends, my 2 girlfriends (im poly) I am regularly in contact with other trans people/trans communities in several cities across my state, and for me it really does not feel like its a “small vocal minority” of transfems who hold anti transmasculine and exorsexist beliefs.
I want to make it clear I absolutely love the transfems in my community, they are my dearest friends, and I deeply treasure our relationships; but absolutely every one of them that I have gotten close to has ended up saying something to me that made me feel really weird. They either mention something about how transmascs have it easier/transfems have it the worst, or they feel the need to gatekeep things from other trans people& borderline accuse other trans people/intersex people of copying transfems, or they joke and complain about “theyfabs” or justify the use of the term (both of my gfs did this- mind you I was afab and exclusively use they/them pronouns), or they invalidate feminine transmasc and afab enby people (again something both of my gfs did despite me being genderfluid and sometimes presenting feminine).
And thats just some of the things Ive experienced IRL in my own home and within my own communities! If I were to start listing my experiences online Id be here all night!! I honestly want to go on about the shit I see online but I dont have the energy for it- but when I see exorsexist or anti trans masculinity coming from transfems (and self proclaimed tmes) online, the comments/notes/whatever is always filled with sometimes hundreds of other trans people agreeing and venting their own frustrations about “tmes” and it just. Again doesnt FEEL like its a minority. You are literally one of the only TWO transfems I know who makes content actively CONSISTENTLY standing up for transmascs and pushing back against anti trans masculinity. Its not that I think its transfems job to dismantle anti trans masculinity but the ratio of transfems who complain about tmes vs ones who actively push back against that rhetoric feels so disproportionate to how often I see transmasc and afab enbies pushback against trans misogyny and the exclusion of transfems in queer spaces.
This turned into a very long winded vent and Im kinda struggling to conclude my point but i guess I wish it felt like more people cared to pushback against TIRFism. It just feels kinda dismissive to hear people say that transmascs who are hesitant to interact w trans communities just need to touch grass or whatever when in my personal experience it feels like I cannot escape anti trasmasculinity or exorsexism in every trans space I am apart of. Kinda blanking on how to end this ask i hope any of this is coherent.
I wanna emphasize again that the person I responded to specifically was really cool and my emotions in this post are not directed at them
Recently someone said it was "easy to forget most trans women are normal about trans men," and I was scolded because me not thinking that was horribly transmisogynistic was apparently a sign I'd lowered my standards as a trans woman because I'm too discourse poisoned, so now I'm even more self-conscious that people will start to see me that way no matter how much I try to insist over and over that TRFs are a vocal minority.
Meanwhile I continue to get asks calling me a pickme and comparing me to Blair White. I continue to have ten people respond to my every reply going "don't listen to Velvet she's crazy and hates trans women!!!!!".
So yeah. It is, actually, easy to forget that sometimes.
Especially since I'm stuck in a tiny southern town without even the option to make use of what meager community exists in the area because there's no one to drive me several hours to the state capital for their annual Pride stuff. I can't just go outside and be gal pals with all the vast numberless hordes of Normal trans women. I would be shocked beyond fucking belief if I saw two gay cis men in my fucking zip code. With my personal situation I can't even be social with cishet people anyway, let alone other queers, let alone all the trans women others perceive as Normal because they've knowingly been in the physical presence of another trans person a single time in their life and have the option of making that happen when they want it to.
Thank you for the support, anon.
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this is something i think of a lot about teen protagonists, and how people will interpret the future. most of the time, its interpreted as a "they stay with their teenage sweetheart" or some other character from the story
but im in my mid 20s and i dont know anyone who stayed with their highschool sweetheart. a lot of people remain friends with their highschool friends, and sometimes even exes, but some people also dont talk to anyone from their teen years anymore just from circumstances alone. theres really no telling whats going to happen to relationships until they happen, and teens to mid 20s is a time of a lot of changes
and i feel that isnt considered enough, especially in big casts like the pjo cast. they still have growing to do, as mature as they have been forced to be. whos to say what their future truely holds?
the reason all your favourite riordanverse ships are non-canon and brilliant is because rick wrote them accidentally
the guy only really knows one ship dynamic (the percabeth/serious x goofball formula), so anyone who he writes with the intention of coupling up ends up falling into that sooner or later. the characters he doesn't consider in this light, however, end up having more complex and interesting relationships
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(Before I say anything this isn’t meant to be hate this is just my thoughts)
I think the reasoning on why people are thinking you are romanticizing Ganymede and Zeus’s story is because you’re making it look like instead of making Ganymede scared of Zeus, it looks like Ganymede is proud to have been kidnapped by Zeus and that he wears a badge of being SA by Zeus. For example, in one of your drawings you said how Ganymede would react to one of Zeus's kids wanting to fight him to where Ganymede said that he had sex with their father, Zeus, making it sound like he was proud and not that affected by Zeus’s actions.
(Again, this is not hate; I'm just explaining what might have caused people to think you're romanticizing Zeus's and Ganymede's relationship.)
No worries, I actually sometimes dont understand when someone is being hateful, so I would read it as just normal.
SO! Again, dosent matter how Ganymede is portrayed, people will think it shouldnt even exist any discussion of him (like, there was an artist that literaly make Zeus as a vile abuser of Ganymede and Hebe was consoling him - EVEN THIS SITUATION THAT SHOW EXPLICIT HOW BROKEN GANYMEDE WAS, PEOPLE HAVE COMPLAINED AS ROMANTIZATION ;w;). So just dont try to look for a reason, there are a lot and none depending sole on who is interpreting my drawings.
This specifc drawing you mentioned, I did way after this recent wave of hate and was just a joke. This case dosent have so much meaning behind the joke, but like, you can have your interpretation as him coping, or he feel for Zeus, or he just want to mess with other gods as he is the only 'mortal' and use Zeus as a shield so he can just be lying... LET YOUR IMAGINATION FLY.
Look... my very firsts drawings and tiktok of Ganimedes was him mad... He literaly mad cry... Even before any nsfw I have done or more nuansed art... and yet people also thougth as romantization... So really, dosent matter what I do, to some people just because of my style or because Zeus is hot its equal to be ok with anything he does (as if abusers cant be attractive... its good those people never meet someone like this, but still makes me worry about them). Ah! There re two expections: some eagle interactions re sweet because its before any harm; and Ganimedes smiling one time on a tiktok video (I though people would be intriged and make questions, but nope, they stick to Ganimedes liking being abused I guess - welp the fetish exists, but I know they mean as me saying 'abuse is ok because he liked it').
I dont know where people think that just because Ganimedes its not suffering in every single second means he is ok to all harm and struggle he will pass... I want to make him suffer as an OC, but like, let him have happy moments... and this also means happy moments with Zeus... and all of this dont erase any bad things... this binary way to see stories its just so not my thing -w-
Oh! and its not because you have intimacy with someone you also love them (like, rage f*cking is a thing and I want to explore it, maybe outside the comic, idk yet u.u). I also have some cannibalism drawings Gani x Zeus, cause imagine eating a god!! So exciting!
OK now for real, I will not answer anymore romantization discustion for some time. I'm tired of this, I will do my things and hope people have patience before stating something that its still in progress. Aske me about it in two months maybe...
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Evbo evbo hi! >∆< how are things after you become God???
Everythings really... weird??
I mean, if people acted weird towards me when i was the parkour CHAMPION, they act 10 times worse now that im a GOD...
The thing is not a lot of people even knew a parkour god existed, the few that believed now worship the ground i walk on (which is weird... i didn't even know them a few days ago, and now they're praying to me??)
Those that dont simply dont acknowledge me or choose to stay out of it. Overall, i feel a lot different than when i was just some guy who did parkour. I feel like something bigger than myself, something im not sure im ready for yet.
My friends have helped me through it, though! They give me some sense of normalcy, and when people dont oggle at me, i can do some pretty cool stuff and show off my new parkour powers!
#hi i'm evbo!#here in parkour civilization#parkour civilization#parkciv#evbo#askblog#rp blog#send asks
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how do you get people to take notice of your commissions? ive been at this for five or six years now and can count the number of comms ive gotten on one hand lmao
WELL this is always rly hard for me to answer bc it really depends on So Much Shit... 😭
like for one thing a lot of it is genuinely luck. like. luck in terms of who sees your work and wants to buy it at the same time mostly? BUT ALSO, this can be helped a bit by How you increase your reach--reach is very important if u wanna sell comms.
ive found what worked for me is drawing fanart, which i know feels like a cop-out to a lotta ppl but it honestly works! and by attracting attention with fanart ive been able to get more eyes on my work and increase the chances of getting a bite :]
another factor is unfortunately following, but that relates to ^ reach and attention on ur work so i dont feel like i need to rly dive into that again x'D
customer service is important too imo. like, how nice and pleasant and easy u are to work with :3 ive worked hard to be really approachable and easy to work with so i think this plays into things. i want ppl to wanna work with me again yknow? if the experience is pleasant then theyre more likely to return <3
one last thing is that like...hmm how do i word this. the appeal of ur art does matter to Some degree i think, but not as much as i think ppl assume? like ok. there are ppl with insanely detailed and intricate work that looks incredible like painterly masterpieces but they are Unable to get commissions bc of some other factor like lack of reach or something. then there are ppl with really simplistic art styles that may seem significantly "less quality" than the painterly masterpieces from the other person but they get commissions out the wazoo. so while i think you do have to have some level of appeal with your art, i dont think its the Only Thing that matters bc like i mentioned ppl dont always care abt how the art looks in terms of "quality" PLUS art is very subjective and one thing could look insanely good to one person but it looks like shit to someone else yknow? so i dont like to place a lot of emphasis on this.
in relation to ^ this, i think popularity matters to Some degree sometimes. i do know ppl who have kind of "lower-quality" (i hate saying that) work compared to others but still get an insane amt of comms bc theyre way more popular. ppl want to say they own a piece by this popular artist yknow? if that makes sense??? so just reiterating its not always about how the art looks, sometimes its other stuff in addition to it
uhhhhh gosh. i hope Any of this was helpful, like i said this is always an extremely difficult question for me to answer bc again things that work for me do not work for everyone because we make different things and are different people! i consider myself EXTREMELY lucky to be able to get the amount of comms i do (i do this for a living; commissions are my Only income which is why i put so much emphasis on them) and i know a lot of people cannot achieve this sorta thing and thats rly sad but its not always completely in our control :(
but i wish u the absolute best of luck and i hope things pick up for u in the future..!!!
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Who's the "real" me?
+ some references for the Rise-related things I included <3
#im reaaaally happy with this one hehe i had fun putting the stuff from different things shes had/worn#i feel like ppl overlook the massive identity crisis & the accompanying depression & internal conflict rise is going through during the gam#like shes trying to figure out who she is seperate from her idol image (which she constantly still clings to despite her insistance that sh#s done with it bc she does still crave that recognition and attention she got from that position. she literally breaks down crying when her#manager tells her kanami has taken her acting role and is more-or-less set to take her spot now)#and then she also struggles with finding what she wants to do with herself now that she doesnt have showbiz to worry about#i think she kinda unintentionally uses the investigation as an anchor for her to hold onto#something to keep her busy in the absence of the hustling idol life#and then she also like. again she keeps clinging to the idol image and the associated bubbly-ness and bold flirtation#because thats the ''her'' ppl liked#i dont think the way she acts during the game is ENTIRELY an act theres definitely a lot of her true self in it too#but she does have a lot of moments where she leans more heavily into the bubbly & flirty cutie act#her sl shows that for all that she wanted to retire from showbiz she isnt really ready just yet#bc she did actually enjoy being an idol. she did enjoy being able to reach out to people in this way & to finally have ppl like & accept he#the problem is she doesnt know who ''she'' is at this point#im rambling but u get my point. yeah. yeah#rise..............#rise kujikawa#persona#persona 4#p4#art#my art#xanders art#digital art#fan art
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