#and i feel decently confident that one of these productions will transfer (probably a little life) but both???

[americanmoths]

look, i was already contemplating going to london to see Ivo van Hove's production of A Little Life and now i learn that Brokeback Mountain with Mike Faist is going to be running at the same time??? my wallet says probably not but my heart says HELL YES.

[theperfectlovestory]

You Are My Home

I DON'T OWN THE PICTURE

Information: This will probably have multiple parts but stand alone (?) I'm a bit nervous to post this cause this is a more personal uhh imagines 😂

Summary: It's been a long time since your friends saw you, a lot has change and you are in a better place in your life. Specially the relationship part

Pairings: Elizabeth Olsen x Reader

Theme: fluff

TW: none (?)

Word Count: 2,241

"Hey guys" you greeted, giving a small smile to your friends. It's been a long time since you all had the chance to talk together

Everyone has been busy and since you left your original city 2 years ago, the best you can do is chat with them once in a while

You are confident that the relationship with them is strong but you are sure many things have changed. But change is good, specially since you left with heavy heart and full of uncertainty

Right now you are in a good position in your life, and everyone is free, or at least made sure to make time. But still, the best you can do is video call for now

After 2 years this is the first time you've seen everyone. While they keep in touch and get together once in a while. You just were too far, both physically and mentally

"Hey, long time no see" Steve teased and you chuckled

"Damn you look good" Natasha commented "been taking care of yourself, I see"

You made a face and nodded "happy now I finally hit the gym like you always nag me to?" She chuckled

"Hey, just want you healthy"

"I know, thank you. Your voice is actually what pushed me in training" you leaned on the table, placing your cheeks on your knuckles "I can just hear you berating me for being so weak"

Everyone chuckled, agreeing that she does do that

"But in all seriousness, you look happy" Bucky complimented

Sighing, you nodded, finally at the position in your life where you can actually see yourself having a bright future

"I am, finally got my shit together, mostly at least"

The topic then transferred to your other friends, enjoying their presence even just from the screen. Laughing together just like the old times

"(Y/n)?" You turn your head to the voice, your girlfriend, Elizabeth calling for you coming from the second floor

"Darling, I'm in the dining" you answered and immediately heard footsteps

Without looking at the screen of your laptop, she smiled, excitedly tilt your head by your chin, kissing you deeply

Every one of your friends are stunned. Of course, you never showed them any public display, not like you had the chance anyway since you never really pursued anyone for years you were with them and now here you are kissing Elizabeth Olsen

Very famous actress, part of big filming companies, a producer as well

"Damn (Y/n)..." Natasha whispered and you laughed when Lizzie finally realized you were actually on a video call

"Oh no, sorry baby" she said wiping your mouth and hers with her sleeves, you shake your head to stop her

"You're fine, or not. But Lizzie, meet my friends" you gestured on the screen and Lizzie shyly waved at them. Blush dusting her cheeks as she pursed her lips into a decent smile. Your taste still lingering on her mouth

They said a quick hi to be polite then suddenly spoke all at once berating you for not telling them you are dating "the Elizabeth Olsen". The actress, the girl of your dreams

Then it was your turn to blush when Bucky mentioned that she's the reason you never had any interest in other people. She was just too 'shiny' to you, the other just seemed dull

Elizabeth looked at you with new found love in her eyes as you got bullied by your friends. She can't help but give you a quick kiss on the cheek before apologizing for interrupting your moment with them again

"Oh no, you did not interrupt at all. We probably wouldn't even know she's dating if you didn't come" Tony said and everyone told him to shut up

"It's not like how it sounds, Ms. Olsen. (Y/n) is very proud of you, she just really doesn't like speaking about her relationships" Peter explained and Elizabeth chuckled

"Oh I know, that's why we are not in public anyway" she patted your head "but it's okay. I don't want to drag her in the mess of Hollywood so if you can just keep all this between us" she gave everyone a small smile and they either shrugged or nodded

"No problem" Natasha answered "I'll make sure these idiots don't slip up"

Elizabeth gave them a big smile before she left to get breakfast. Once she is gone though they started attacking you with questions again

"Fine fine" you sighed, finally giving up "we met a few months after I left, I applied to the Marvel Studio as set decorator. I was fixing up the set the night before with a bunch of my coworkers so the shooting will proceed with ease. I'm usually just there at night so when she came looking for her phone, which I actually picked up and was planning to give to the lost and found before leaving, they pointed her to me. I gave it to her, she thanked me and that was it'' you shrugged

"Then how did you two got together"

Pursing your lips, knowing they wouldn't stop anyway you told them

It was the wrap up of the filming for Endgame. The biggest movie you will ever work with if you are honest

A bunch of A-listers are there and a lot of demands have to be met so for the first time, the whole movie you had to be in and out of the sets. You barely slept or ate in the past few months. You apartment even collected dust since all you did there is go home, take a shower, then go out

You mostly slept on set. By the end of the filming your body is screaming for rest. But you kept going anyway. This project is a very big deal for you, specially you lead the look of the set. anything that needs to be changed, moved, removed, added to the set goes through you

So basically, all day you stand in front of the set, watching the designers work their magics and you requesting changes, assessing the atmosphere in pre production and etc. and at night, clean up and set up is a bitch

One morning you were so tired you wanted to pass out there and then when Elizabeth enter the area. She was shooting all her parts today that can be soloed

You tried to keep yourself awake and alert to anything and everything so when you noticed an uneven ramp and props that she will unfortunately stepped on, your body started running before your mind can comprehend what's happening

She let out a squeal when she broke her ankle and fall but before she hit the ground and risk further injuries on her wrist that is sure to break her fall, you were catching her

But your body felt so weak that instead of staying up right, she fell on you. At least she wasn't hurt at any part of her body but you were, you hit your head on impact but it was minor

If ever, it only made you dizzy

She stood up and you did as well. You rubbed your hand on your face, ordering staffs to re-arrange and clean up the set so no more obstacle can cause accidents

You didn't even dare look at her eyes knowing those green orbs will suck your life out of you. You asked her if she's okay, also apologizing for the dangerous set up. It was overlooked that she would be indeed walking in heels, boots but heels nevertheless

"It's fine, I'm fine" she said, smiling but her eyes are full of worry "are you though? You hit your head when you broke my fall" she said, even unconsciously touching it

"Uh yeah..." you awkwardly smiled at her "it doesn't hurt, thanks" you then slowly back away. When the props have been arrange, the shooting started but your body felt so weak you had to call your assistant to cover for you

You went to the area where you always rested and slept. You were out for almost 2 hours when a cough woke you up. You sat up, rubbing your eyes and ask what they need without even looking at them

"I...brought you food, and coffee" your head snapped, looking at the voice you only dream of talking . She had a small and awkward smile and shy look in her eyes directed to you

"I was looking for you where you usually stand but noticed you weren't there" she explained, your face obviously gave your confusion away "I wanted to thank you again, the stunt director said that if it weren't for you, I would most likely break my wrist in that fall"

You slowly nodded, giving her a small smile "well, it was our fault for not triple checking the set"

"No no, please don't do that, accidents happen, I'm just here to thank you. It was me being clumsy too" You look at her with newfound admiration, a firm believer of 'never meet your idol, it will disappoint you'. But it wasn't the case with her at all

You are aware of the rumors that she's actually very kind, down to earth and serious with her job. It's a good rumor considering she is well known and if you are honest, you know deep in your heart it is true, but you never get your hopes up high

If only you met in a different circumstance, maybe you would think of trying to flirt a little but you know your place. This is a work situation and you need to be as professional as you can be. She is still an actress after all, you need to respect her space

It doesn't mean that she is being kind to you, it's an invitation to step into that space of hers. So you muster the most professional smile you can

"Well thanks, it's really no problem" you said with indifference and if you are actually not too much in your head, you will see her frown with the change of tone

She then handed you the food and the coffee "I'd actually like to talk more again sometimes" she said, swallowing the tightness in her throat "maybe for a coffee?"

The invitation did wonders in your body. Your heart is just beating a tad bit faster, your stomach filled with butterflies, your cheeks turning red. All the cliché reactions you can feel, it's there but then you moved and you groaned, your body sore from over work

You were so sure you wanted to say yes, but your body clearly wanted to say no. After this shooting, you just want to drop dead in your apartment and maybe wake up 3 months after

"I'm just so tired recently, I will be no fun" you chuckled, exhaustion dripping on every syllable "but hey, maybe a few weeks after the filming is done, if you are still up for it?"

The sadness of rejection from earlier was turned into a big grin. Her excitement sparkled on her eyes "sure, I'd give you my number then"

You nodded and gave her your phone. She didn't even have to ask for a password because you never put one in. It's easier since you give your phone to your assistants all the time to contact people for updates on props shipments and other business related matter

She excitedly tapped her number, saving it as 'Scarlet Witch' and that made you giggle. Using her screen name that's not even canon yet

"Okay, Scarlet Witch, I'll call you when I finally get some well deserve hibernation, then maybe I'll be more fun to talk to than a usual" She laughed and nodded and you are so sure you can never be more in love with her voice

She then said a few more things before leaving you to rest. You thanked her again for the food and coffee before she disappeared

"I can't believe you almost rejected her" Steve said wide eyed "she's like, your dream woman"

"Oh I can" Natasha said "(Y/n) doesn't hit uncertain, have you ever played with her on anything? All her hits are aces!"

"But it's like the chance of a lifetime!"

"Yeah! That's why you make sure you attack when you know it will hit!"

The two started bickering and you all just watched, laughing at their same old antics. Elizabeth then walk to your side, offering you a fruit bowl for breakfast, you thanked her and then invited her to seat besides you and she did, you kissed her off camera

"What was that?" She chuckled but tried to catch your lips again when you pulled away, you giggled at her pouty face

"Nothing, just suddenly can't believe I'm actually dating you" she sighed, giving you a small smile

"You might think that you're the lucky one but it's actually me" she said, pressing a hand on your cheeks and squeezing it lightly "you make my life whole, (Y/n), you filled the space in my heart where money or popularity cannot"

"And you picked up and fixed my broken pieces" you countered, leaning on her hand that's now just slowly rubbing your cheeks

"I guess we are both lucky then"

"Yeah"

Your eyes both glint the same way. Feeling like you finally found where you belong, in each other. You are home

[alien-shark]

ZoTash prompt/one-shot: JEALOUSY

Echoes of what appears to be sparring shouts reverberate from the training grounds and soon, a surge of female Marine soldiers flood the halls. What used to be a serene area was now abuzz with gleeful exuberant cheers, their attention aimed at the other five female soldiers surrounding a lone shirtless green haired man at the centre of the training ground. Shinai swords drawn and pointed at their single adversary.

Tashigi, curious at the commotion, followed along the queue of female soldiers lining the perimeter of the ground, “What’s going on?” she asked, sipping at her coffee.

“He’s doing it. He’s sparring with them again!” A female soldier beamed, her eyes glued at the subject of interest.

Standing on her tiptoes, the Marine captain watch as the female soldiers consecutively charge at the man. But with a quick side step, parry, deflect and strikes on the shoulder, behind the knee and hip, each soldiers were disarmed and collapse on the dirt, one after another.

The spectators cheered and some groaned on behalf of their fallen comrades. On refusing to yield, one soldier latched on a nearby shinai and swiped at the man’s leg only for the weapon to shatter upon impact with his own.

“Too slow.” He sighed, disappointed. Spinning his head around, “You are all too slow.”

A wave of excited whispers, some of obscenities, rippled through the crowd.

“Your grasp on your swords are too flimsy! Even a kid can disarm you.” He pauses and releases yet another disgruntled sigh. “And you’re leaving too much opening! Do you have a death wish?! If I used real swords, you’d all be dead!” He turned to a soldier on the ground and offered his hand, she accepts reluctantly but hauls herself up with his help.

“The battle isn’t over until you’re dead.” He growled. “Till then, get your ass up and try again!”

Roronoa Zoro returned in the middle of the field, two bamboo swords drawn on his sides.  His eyes scan the crowd, “Who’s up next?”

Female Marines race and scrambled to try their luck at him, beaming and professing determined shouts.

---

Captain Tashigi narrows her eyes, irritated that her fellow Marine soldiers- especially ones under Vice Admiral Tsuru’s squadron- are so easily swayed by Roronoa’s simple display of swordsmanship. But her resentment only doubled upon realizing that while she goes and makes herself a cup of coffee to begin the day, the man was already in the heat of his training.

While Roronoa trains the female Marines; observing them with a critical eye as they do drills and correct any mistakes and praise any improvements as they spar with one another, Tashigi decides to train with other soldiers who remained wary of the pirate. But it wasn’t long until Tashigi found herself training alone in their usual spot. She discovered her fellow officers figured Roronoa’s teachings yield very effective results.

And so she was alone, much to her disappointment.

Dinner proved tougher to endure when all she hears are praises aimed at Roronoa, how his outlandish teachings opened up new possibilities in their training immensely enhancing their skills.

“He’s truly a great swordsman! Glad he’s an ally now!” A soldier announced cheerfully.

“And he’s surprisingly such a decent guy too!”

“Right?! And he’s gentle and kind!”

“Have you seen that body?”

They giggle. Tashigi stands to leave.

A tremendous divide among the Marines occurred when the highly influential Vice Admirals finally roused and saw the errors of the entire Marines’ belief. It began with Smoker’s G-5 unit followed by Vice Admiral Garp, Vice Admiral Sengoku and most recently, Vice Admiral Tsuru.

Tashigi started as a grunt in Tsuru’s squad. Her skills earned her respect and praise among her superiors and popularity among the entire female Marine soldiers. Her rapid growth caused her to be transferred under Smoker’s wing in Loguetown. Yet to this day, she would return and spend some time with her previous crew. She considered this her place of solitude, a break from her testosterone infested infantry. It was a breath of fresh air to be around fellow female soldiers and they were always glad to have her back even for a short period.

However, the Marine/Pirate integration has altered her previous comrades regard towards her. (Roronoa and three of his nakamas: Nico Robin, The God-Usopp and The Soul King, temporarily stays on the island under Tsuru’s watch for Nico Robin to decipher a poneglyph. Which explains why and how the pirate is within their vicinity.) Now, the female soldiers’ attention has long abandoned Tashigi and are directed at Roronoa, much like the G-5.

“Give it to him! I bet he’ll love it!” A soldier nudged her companion.

“I hope so. He did say he loves quality sake.”

“Haha! He’ll fall head over heels for you!”

“W-what?! No.. I just wish to thank him..!” The other soldier blushed.

Soon, things took a sudden turn. An ample amount of female soldiers developed a budding infatuation towards the man. Tashigi couldn’t contain her hackles from rising when one evening, during a bonfire, another soldier gifted Roronoa sake. He drank and celebrated with them for yet another productive day. As Tashigi observes the exchange, she notices Roronoa smile almost slyly towards the gushing female Marines. Her suspicions towards the man intensifies. He was still a pirate after all. Tashigi witnessed the vulgar glances Black Leg and The Soul King displays when around women. Who’s to say Roronoa is different? She knows nothing about the man.

That very night, she confronted him. When finally he was alone, walking groggily through the empty streets, she blocked his path.

“Roronoa, a word, please.” She gestured to an empty alley.

“If you need private lessons, you’re gonna have to wait for two days.” He smiles. “I’m a busy man. Tonight’s not a good ti—”

“I know what game you’re playing, pirate!” Tashigi interjects. “You may blind the others with your swordplay but not me.”

Immediately, the pirate’s drunken stupor evaporated and he stares unblinking. But Tashigi refused to falter.

“If you’re training them just to create your little ‘fan-club’ or to invite them in your bed, I will not ask you again, please stop. These are prominent honourable women and some are already developing feelings-- bonds to you deeper than they intended. Feelings I doubt a pirate such as you even have. Whatever dark intentions you have planned, abandon it if you still wish to see the light of day.” She stepped closer and jabbed a finger on his chest. “Respect these women or I will make you.”

Roronoa stares at the finger on his chest and slowly creeps his gaze towards the woman.

“I always wondered why you never attend the training. I thought it was just your stubborn pride that makes you lurk behind the trees, watching from a distance.”

For the first time, Tashigi hesitates and draws her hand back.

“So this is how you still see me.” He narrows his eyes at her, as realization hits. “I trained your soldiers because they asked me to. I won’t apologize for my actions.  I am not responsible for the feelings your soldiers harbour towards me neither will I apologize for how you interpret my actions towards them. That’s on you. I’ve never disrespected your soldiers in any way and I never intend to. I only wish to help… because-”

He takes a deep breath. “This may be empty words to you but… I feel obliged- I had a friend—,” Roronoa paused, dropping his gaze to the ground.

His voice suddenly grows quieter, jittery. “I wanted to prove to her… wherever she is I—I want to prove that women can be strong and capable of so much more. At first I didn’t believe it was possible.” He meets her eyes, his own glassy under the moonlight.

“Then you came along and changed my mind. How you handle yourself and radiate that irritating confidence and headstrong determination that affects the people around you. You made me realize that women are capable of so much more. And I want to help even in the smallest way. I want to prove to her that she was wrong for thinking so little of herself because of her gender.”

Roronoa hardens his gaze and almost doubles in size as he straightens himself, towering over the Marine captain. “But she’s dead. And she will never know. And I guess it’s too late for it now. And the person who opened up my mind to the possibilities and gave me hope continues to view me as a petty low-life. And whatever ounce of help I provided in the end didn’t matter.”

The man shakes his head and before stepping around her says, “What do I know? Pirates don’t have feelings, right?”

That night, Tashigi couldn’t sleep. Roronoa’s words cut her deeper than any wound inflicted in battle. How petty and shallow of her to view Roronoa in this light.

His late friend… Of course. How could she forget? When will she ever see beyond herself? She was insecure, blinded by her weakness. Jealousy remains to be her biggest vice, the wall that prevents her from moving forward- the gap between their abilities. She was right about one thing however, she knows nothing about the man.

The following days, Roronoa stopped showing up at the training grounds and began training somewhere else, alone, and refused to train and spar with the female soldiers, however he allowed them to watch.

“Could we have been too much for him?” A soldier during lunch muttered weakly.

“Maybe our progress was too slow he got impatient.”

“Ugh. I shouldn’t have pushed him to try our family’s sake.”

“Face it, ladies. The man didn’t see anything special and probably got bored.” Another stirred at her lunch dully. “He’s still a pirate. Open your legs at him and he might—”

“He’s not like that!” Tashigi snapped. All eyes on her. Upon realizing her outburst has generated attention she wasn’t used to, she trembled and cast her eyes down. “Roronoa is… a lot of things. But he’s not like that.”

She quickly dislodge herself from the predicament. She needed to find the man- for the sake of the Marines. But more importantly give him the apology he deserved. She cannot allow her frivolous mistake sever the unity between Marines and pirates. Tashigi could not locate him that evening so she woke up early the next day and luckily found him in his new training spot, surrounded by female soldiers urging him for a spar.

Tashigi apprehensively stepped closer into his area. A twitch of his eye suggest he’s aware of her presence.

“Roronoa, please… please train them again.” She whispers and hopes he hears amidst his grunts and loud thrusts of his sword.

“They can train themselves.” He grunts.

“They can.” She swipes a quick glance at the inquisitive soldiers. “But they prefer your guidance. They enjoy your company.”

“They’ve trained without my supervision long before I arrived in the island. They don’t need me.”

“Roronoa, please-“

“No.”

Before her tears threaten to spill, Tashigi knelt down and pressed her forehead on the ground and bowed deeply before the man.

“I apologize for every malicious words I insinuated. You didn’t deserve the accusations. I was wrong. It was unjust- I was,” She bit her lip and forced the trembling words out, “— ignorant. I figured my misplaced vigilance for my fellow Marines only causes harm than good. And I realize my accusations reflected more about my insecurities than of your character.”

The thrusting of sword stopped and louder whispers emanate from the growing onlookers.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me. I only wish for you to know how deeply I regret my misdemeanour.” She sobbed. “Please do not punish them because of the lapses in my judgement. Roronoa… Roronoa-san, it would be an honour to gain your insights.”

Tashigi took a deep breath and lifted her head slightly, “Please train them—train us!!”

“Tashigi-san…” Echoes of her name ran through the crowd but she refused to lift her head.

A surge of delight rushed through the swordsman’s chest and instantly felt an entire lightness of being, as if the overbearing weight he’s been carrying the last couple of days was lifted off his chest and he was engulfed with unexpected satisfaction. A single apology from the woman would have suffice, but this almost evaporated every affliction he’d ever experience. Had this happen months ago, he would have a quip to counter, instead he clears his throat,

“Then what are you waiting for? Grab your shinai. We’re losing daylight!”

Tashigi finally raised her head, face coated in watery dirt but she didn’t care. Altogether, the entire female Marine squadron exclaimed, “Haiii!!”.

----

Apologies for going over the word count! I hope this was worth your time! 

[other-fictive-things]

Domesticated: Two

Merlin tried not to listen to Eggsy telling Roxy about his part in getting Merlin to talk to you. He’d like to strangle the little shit. But then, that was nothing new. He had a talent for finding his last nerve and tap dancing on it. Then exploiting his soft spot for him about three seconds before Merlin really did throttle him. Sometimes, the older man wondered if that’s what it were like to be a parent.

If it was, he wasn’t sure he were up to the task. If it was, he felt like a creepy old man trying to date someone near Eggsy’s age. But, looking at the text you sent him. An innocuous little picture of you pouting at the camera with glitter on your lips, dressed for a night out with friends, he knew he couldn’t back out now. Even dressed for a night at a Drag show, you looked like exactly his shot of whiskey. Warmth spread through his belly and radiated out to the top of his head to the tips of his toes.

It had been a long time since anyone had made him feel that way. So long in fact that he thought himself immune. Happily, he though saving the picture so it would come up when you called, he wasn’t.

He put his phone back in his breast pocket and tried not to let his thoughts drift towards you, but unbidden he’d seen the first moment he saw you.

You’d blown into the coffee shop looking harried and frankly more than a little disheveled. Hair falling in your eyes, not a product of elegant disarray but a long day and total hairpin failure. Your clothes were rumpled and you looked... somehow... beautiful. Out of place in the coffee shop full of idle socialites and white-collar workers. But somehow, no one seemed to notice. Your manners were neat at least. Pretty soft words. Well-spoken. And only slightly Americanized. Some flavor of dual citizenship probably. You’d taken your coffee and found a small table, careful to be out of the way. Seeking some solace, he assumed. Some comfort after a long day. His assumption was proven correct when you started to cry. Not sobbing hysterically, but a few quiet tears sliding down your cheeks. Hastily wiped away as you took a deep breath and looked towards the ceiling for a second, willing yourself not to make a scene. He’d felt something twist in his chest unpleasantly. It had hurt in ways seeing a woman cry didn’t typically affect him. He was used to debutante sulks and snits. Not quiet pain that had momentarily become too much to bear.  It affected him. He’d started coming back, wanting to see you again. Hoping this was your usual shop. He’d learned to track your days through your coffee order. Good days were just espresso. Dark and strong. A quick pick up. Long days were chai lattes with extra espresso. Bad days were indulgent fluff and a pastry... There had been a lot of bad days. Days that made him want to scoop you up and cradle you against his chest and make it better. Days that had made him want to find the source of the pain and make sure it couldn’t hurt you again. At least he would if it wasn’t your job doing it.

Eggsy had been correct when he had said that he bet Merlin already knew things about you. He’d been too jaded to immediately want to charge to your rescue. There were organizations that would quite literally kill to get hold of him and the things he knew. Not to mention what he could do. It hadn’t taken him long to find you. Name and all. Where you studied, what you did, and a set of sealed court documents that transferred custody of you to an older brother. After his cursory search, which was still invasive enough he felt guilty after, he’d not gone further. Most organizations, for all their cleverness, weren't this clever. There was a family tree he could trace several generations back on both sides, for God’s sake. You were real, he knew. But after that he just had to work up the guts to talk to you.

Several failed relationships lay in his past. Pretty women of proper parentage to appease his parents. Debutantes and Socialites. Heiresses. People with all the proper breeding. Women whose greatest ambition was to marry a rich man and be taken care of the way their parents had taken care of them. He’d sworn off any real relationship after he’d almost been married... That little misadventure had left him with scars that had made him drown himself in work just to numb the ache. He knew that the dating scene had probably changed a lot since his day. Women in this day and age were a lot more... aggressive than he was typically used too. Even the women his mother shoved at him were hardly polished. Though he supposed, at his age it was going to be tricky for her to find anyone to fling at him. Still. You were... different. Not terribly polished but there was an air of quiet confidence. Of knowing. He liked that.

“You ain’t going out with your girl?” Eggsy asked teasing.

Merlin rolled his eyes, “She had prior plans for this evening.”

“Aww,” Roxy grinned, “did you not want to go clubbing?”

“Indeed not,” Merlin snorted, “But her Snapchat has been entertaining.”

Roxy was practically bouncing on the balls of her feet, “You got Snapchat?”

The older man sighed, “I’ve had Snapchat. Someone has to monitor the shite you all get up to on social media.”

Eggsy paled just a little and Merlin smirked internally. He didn’t really monitor all that closely but Eggsy didn’t need to know that. Not right now.

____________

It wasn’t difficult to find the address you’d provided. It wasn’t a bad neighborhood but it wasn’t posh either. At least he didn’t have to worry about that. He’d hate to be scared to send you home at night, even if he was reasonably certain you could take care of yourself.

Still, as he stood waiting for you to buzz him in, he had a sense of unease. It felt... odd. Still. When the door released to let him in the feeling vanished. It evaporated like water on a hot pan and a feeling, not unlike nerves, rushed in in its wake. He felt both overdressed and underdressed. It was a bright Saturday afternoon and he wasn’t even sure what he was going to be doing. All he knew was that he was excited and mildly terrified to be doing it.

And then he couldn’t breathe. You were standing in the doorway of your flat, smiling up at him. “You found me,” you tell him, standing on your toes to kiss his cheek. Just another whisper of a kiss. “You gave me the right address,” he chuckles.

You step back and let him pass by you to get in and he takes a second to look around. “It’s not terribly grand, but then I’d hardly ever here for longer than it takes to sleep and change clothes,” you say, sounding more amused than offended at his assessment of the second-hand furniture and comfortable clutter of books and sundry nonsense.

Merlin smiles a little and takes the hanger you’re holding for his coat. He’d certainly seen worse, though his mother would be perfectly horrified at the mismatched, squashy chair and couch. “You’ve got an eye for antiques,” he observed, noting the typewriter on the desk. He’s willing to bet it’s from at least 1920. One designed for ace reporters and war office clerks. You smile a little, “My brother found it for me somewhere. An estate sale or something,” you answer, “A 16th birthday present.” There’s a note of something in your voice. A little fond and a little sad. But Merlin doesn’t press. He doesn’t like the hint of sadness. And he doesn’t want to keep delving into things that make it pop out. Not when there are other more tantalizing things to get out of you; like soft moans and cries of his name.

You smile up at him and he desperately wants to kiss the end of your nose. You look a little sleep-deprived after a late night but still lovely. “So,” he says smiling back, savoring the warmth in his chest. “What’d you have in mind today, sweetheart?”

“Well. I’m sure you watched all the chaos from last night on snap chat,” you tell him stretching lazily, “So I thought I’d make you a nice dinner and we could just... relax a little bit. I don’t know about for you, but work was just a nightmare.”

“Ah, so you showed me how funny you are and now you’re trying to win my heart by filling my stomach,” he teases, laughing, “I’ll take it, even if my work week wasn’t... too terrible.”

“I might be showing off a little,” you admitted, “I have a handful of talents but I’m really good at them.”

“Oh?” Merlin asked quirking an eyebrow.

You nod and start carefully setting out the things you needed to make the meal you wanted to cook, “Do you want something to drink? I have tea, I have a couple bottles of wine, water, decent whiskey, might have a soda and some hot chocolate...”

Merlin could place your upbringing a little better then. You’d not had money. You wanted your guests comfortable but you weren’t terribly bothered about putting your ability to make them comfortable on display. Not to mention you were showing him affection with a home-cooked meal. Not that he minded. He’d done fancy dates. It was uncomfortable. He felt irresistibly like a specimen under glass on those dates, but this was nice.

“Tea is fine, love,” he says, helping himself to a seat to watch you in the kitchen.

You nod and start the kettle, humming to yourself.

“So,” Merlin asked, “What do you do, exactly?”

“I’m a Program Director for a Children’s mental health facility,” you tell him, “I do... a lot of things.”

“Impressive,” he said whistling, “And what brought you there?”

“The grace of God, poor life choices,” you pause and consider the mug in your hand, “Incredibly bad luck, possibly. Take your pick.”

Merlin snorts, “Probably some combination of the three,” he says, taking the mug from your hand when you offer it.

“Probably,” you agree, stretching.

“What about you,” you ask, “how did you become a tailor?”

“Fell into the job really,” he said smiling, “I knew the right people.”

You nod, “Can you do me a favor?” you ask, cocking your head to the side.

“What’s that, hen?” he asks, taking a sip of tea.

“Please stop lying to me about your job,” you ask, “If you’re actually a Tailor I’m somehow in line for a monarchy.”

Merlin stops for a moment and leans forward to assess you, “What do you think I do?” he asks

You smile a little, “Something military. Or Military adjacent,” you tell him. Carefully. Careful not to pry too deep or press too hard. Giving him a little bit of wiggle room.

“And how, hen, did you come to that conclusion?”

“My brother’s a Marine,” you tell him, “I spent most of my life writing him letters out in the desert. At least until he got discharged and came home... After that he ran a bar. I know military types when I see them... and Tailors don’t typically wind up with the callouses you get from combat. Thick ones too.”

Merlin smiles a little, “And If I have to kill you for catching me out?”

“Neat,” you tell him, “No more student loans!”

That makes him grin, “I feel like that’s fair.”

You take a sip from your own mug of tea and smile, “You don't have to tell me anything,” you tell him softly, “just please don’t lie to me.”

Merlin sobered, nodding, ‘I promise, love,” he said softly, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not like you got to choose your cover story... and it’s not your fault I spent my life around military types. I know what hands that fire guns look like... and even if your family does probably have a fancy country estate and you go hunting, that doesn’t quite make sense.”

“Alright, Sherlock.”

You smile and turn away, refocusing on making dinner, satisfied now that that had been cleared up.

Merlin very kindly set the table for you while you fussed with details, adjusting timy things here and there to make sure you had everything like you wanted it before carrying dishes to the table while he poured glasses of wine. “This looks incredible,” he said, genuinely impressed.

“I watch a lot of cooking shows when I can’t sleep,” you explain modestly.

He chuckled and pulled out you chair before kissing your cheek affectionately, “You can cook for me anytime you like, love.”

“Try it first before you say that,” you caution.

Merlin takes his own seat once he’s sure you’re settled and tuts softly, “I watched you cook it,” he reminded, “It looked amazing an hour ago.” You glow quietly at the praise and Merlin smiles a little. You’re pretty. No, pretty is an understatement, you’re beautiful. It’s nice, knowing that you’re happy he’s happy. He’d like to skip dinner and pull you over to the couch so he can see if he can get you to glow a little brighter. But, he’s got time. Plenty of time. Still, as he tucks into his dinner, he makes a soft appreciative noise, “This is incredible,” he groans, “Amazing.”

Your cheeks heat and you take a small nibble, “It’s alright,” you tell him, “It was a new recipe, sorry I didn’t have time to work out the kinks.”

“Oh well,” he teases, “That changes everything. I demand you do it again.”

You smile a little and take a sip from your glass of wine as Merlin raises his in quiet toast, “Really, love,” he hums, “It’s lovely. Thank you. I’ve never really got the hang of cooking for my self.”

“I didn’t have much of a choice,” you tell him, “I really don’t like ramen.”

Merlin laughs and you decide you really do need to do this again sometime. He was sweet. And funny. And a little mysterious. He ticked a lot of your boxes. Not that you had many. Or very much experience. Still. You had always had a thing for older men. Men your own age were just fucking exhausting. Everything was a goddamn crisis. You dealt with Crises all day. Hospital visits and court cases. Kids broken. Staff about to quit. When you came home you wanted to just be. When you went out you wanted to have fun and not have to worry about soothing a fragile masculine ego. Sitting here, with Hamish, it was nice. You could just be. Chat about Wine. Talk about books. It was comfortable, and he seemed like he was enjoying dinner which was nice. You’d inherited that little tic from your mom. The compulsive need to feed people and have them be happy. It was nice, having him appreciate things.

“It’s still early, do you want to watch a movie?” you ask, taking plates to the kitchen and scarping things into the trash.

“I haven’t seen a movie in ages,” he said, moving to help you, feeling guilty after having let you do all the cooking. He nudged you out of the way gently and took up the washing.

“Got a favorite?” you ask, picking up a tea towel.

“I’m fond of documentaries,” he mused.

“Murder documentaries?” you ask.

“Yes,” he murmured, cheeks coloring.

“Perfect. I have like... all of them I can get to. Have you seen the Ted Bundy ones on Netflix?”

And the man let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

[jisungsmochi]

jaemin doing your makeup, bf!au

bullet points bc i’m lazy

requested; yes ! @strawberrydreamies

fluff ok

word count; 900

let’s get it

—

• you and jaemin would probably be out shopping

• he only came bc he wanted to get food but you dragged him to look at some stuff, preferably, makeup

• you wanted to get some new eyeshadow palettes as well as stock up on other products you were running low of

• so could y’all just imagine, smol but tall, na jaemin, following you around like a lost puppy in sephora or something ?

• like he’s literally attached to your side, pulling on your sleeve while whining

• “that looks exactly the same as the other one, i don’t get it”

• “you never will” you sigh at him before continuing to put stuff in your basket

• he kinda let loose and wandered away by himself

• you were lowkey scared tho bc he might break something or do some weird shit

• but never fear, you found him playing with the highlighters

• his fingers were all topped with glitter, he was staring at them in awe before you dragged him out of the store after buying your items

• he pouted at you, complaining that he wanted to see what you would look like with the highlight on

• “okay MUA jaemin, why don’t you just do my makeup then” you suggested as a joke

• “i will take you up on that offer, i’m gonna make you look prettier than you already are!” he pinched your cheeks softly, getting the highlight onto your cheeks

• you groaned before using the sleeves of his hoodie to wipe the product off of your face

• so now you’re both in your room, you brought out your makeup essentials

• jaemin sat cross legged from you on the floor, smiling at you in admiration bc you’re actually letting him do your makeup

• he probably felt super confident in his skills tbh

• you pulled your hair back with a cute headband, and laid your makeup next to him

• he stared at it intensely

• “babe, what do i use first?”

• you rolled your eyes before handing him a bottle of primer, he squeezed a small amount before rubbing it onto your face

• you scrunched your nose at how odd the feeling was, of his hands running over your cheeks

• he smiled at you bc you were being adorable as shit

• and obviously he needed to give you a small peck on the lips bc he’s na jaemin ok

• you started blushing after his hands left your face

• he moved onto foundation

• “i’m using all my knowledge of basic makeup skills here okay babe” he would announce, while blending the foundation into your skin

• “and i’m trusting you with that knowledge, babe” you replied, looking directly into his eyes

• his eyebrows were furrowed, as he concentrated on blending properly, you could help but smile at him

• he was doing a pretty steady job so far, he didn’t mess up your eyebrows although he kept repeating “eyebrows are not twins, they’re sisters”

• he pulled out one of the new eyeshadow palettes you had bought earlier, and picked out some colours

• “remember to blend!” you remind him, as he nodded along to your orders

• “i’m gonna use this peach pink bc you’re my little peach” he complimented you, making you flustered all over again

• he blended the eyeshadow thoroughly, he would pull himself back from you, staring at his work and then going back to blend some more

• whenever his face got close to yours, he would smile and give you a little peck before continuing

• “you need to stop kissing me otherwise you’ll never get this done” you lowkey whine bc you just wanna see what you look like goddamn

• “what if i don’t want to get this done” he winked

• “na jaemin, just shut your mouth and blend!” you giggled, softly slapping his shoulder

• he shook his head before continuing

• this boy even contoured for you, and put on some blush like aw, u gem

• the lipstick he picked out, matched the look completely !

• and finally

• his favourite step of them all

• the highlight !!!!

• he has been waiting for this moment

• with the flick of his wrist, and the fan brush, the highlight was delicately applied to your cheekbones

• he dramatically dropped the brush before exclaiming

• “i finished baby! you look absolutely stunning, as always” he smirked before showing you in your mirror

• you were utterly shocked

• he did a decent job

• it was AMAZING, but he knew what he was doing wowza

• “aww babe i look so pretty!” you admired him smiling at himself through your mirror

• you shuffled over to him, colliding your bodies together and tackling him onto your bed

• “hey, don’t be so rough, your makeup is going to be ruined!” he pouted at you, still holding onto your waist

• “i guess you’re right, looks like we can’t kiss for a while now” you shrug yourself out of his grip, crossing your legs, sitting up on your bed

• “babe don’t even say that to me right now” he groaned before dragging you to his side

• he pulled his face directly in front on yours and smirked

• “one kiss” he whined, you gave in just like that lmao

• you felt him smile into the kiss, knowing the lipstick probably transferred by now

• “hmm maybe i should do your makeup..” you smirked at him

• his eyes widened, he knew what was coming next

[effervescentmind]

Entry 58: 01.27.21 @9:47p.m.

It’s been quite some time, and this is probably going to be a long post. 

So, my last day at Target was on the ninth of this month and since then I have been trying to get a job or file for unemployment. At first, I had a few online interviews set up and they ended up being scammy, pyramid schemes where I have to make sales and also find my own customers or invest my own money to make money. After my last Target shift, I filed for unemployment and that was also a bust. I wasn’t eligible for it in NC but still eligible in Texas and was told to refile with them. When I logged in and attempted to do so, I was told that I had to call in. I called and because I worked in NC (out-of-state) I needed to be transferred to a different department that can only be reached if they aren’t already on the phone with another caller. There is no way to stay on hold and you must continue calling and hope they pick up. I continued calling for a week and never got through. This resulted in me getting extremely depressed and not doing anything including schoolwork. 

This week, I picked myself up and decided to be productive. I called my school counselor and asked for advice since I was three weeks behind on work. He told me to not stress and get the current assignments in on time and work on passed due assignments as I go along. This semester they aren’t counting late work so I will still receive full credit. Thank the GODS!! 

Yesterday, I drove around and filled out applications at a few restaurants. I really didn’t want to do serving again but it’s really my only option at the moment. I am concerned about making money, but we will see. Anyway, one of the places I went to immediately hired me without an interview! It was very weird, and the manager told me to come in today at 10:30 for training. I understand that they were desperate for people, but I wasn’t completely excited and felt like there was something wrong with this place.

I was trained this morning by an older woman and she was knowledgeable and nice but very dirty. She herself was clean but she didn’t practice good hygiene and it grossed me out. She would pick up dirty plates from the tables, not wash her hands and then get drinks for people and handle money. On top of all that, she TOUCHED FOOD WITH HER DIRTY HANDS!!! I witnessed her grab lemons with her unwashed hands and put them on a plate for a guest then continue with duties. Not once during the shift did, she wash her hands and then she also went on two smoke breaks which is also disgusting because she’s touching her mouth and possibly her own saliva then going back to work. I finished training at 2:30 and was supposed to go back at 5:00 but instead called my boss and told her I would not be returning and that I found another opportunity. I was so disgusted, and I refuse to work in a place that I wouldn’t dare eat at. 

When I got home from my training today, I had a voicemail from another place asking to set up an interview. Of course, I jumped at the opportunity and scheduled it for tomorrow. The place I applied to is exceptionally clean, from what I can tell, and has a much better atmosphere. I am excited and confident about getting the job. The manager I spoke with today was the one I interacted with when I filled out the application and he seemed very friendly. I hope I get a decent number of hours and make some good money over there. 

My tattoo has been healing for a little over two weeks and it looks amazing! The tattoo isn’t exactly how I wanted it though. The day of my appointment, I came in ten minutes early and my artist showed me the drawing. It wasn’t colored but it looked great and I told him that he had the freedom to shade it how he liked except that I wanted the eyes to be purple. He didn’t seem to care for this idea and told me “It would be possible but then I would have to put magenta in the gums and I was going to do something different.... It should be fine. We’ll see what we can do”. Then he went to the back to set up and look over the tattoo. I waited in the front until he called me to come back, didn’t say anything about colors and started working. My appointment lasted three hours and was very painful. The tiger head is bigger than my hand and placed on my right thigh. When he finished, I sat up and was looking into yellow eyes. YELLOW NOT PURPLE. I was so mad but didn’t show it. The tattoo is phenomenal, and my artist is extremely talented but that fact that he was too proud to do what the fuck I was paying him for pissed me off. I told him how much I loved it, paid for the tattoo and didn’t tip him. Unfortunately, I won’t be returning which sucks because I really love his work and it was what brought me to the shop but he’s doesn’t deserve my business.

I have been talking to a girl for about two or three months now. We consider each other friends and she seems really cool. There is a lot we have in common and are in constant contact with each other. We talk about everything and have opened up a lot to each other about our issues, growth and plans. Lately, we have been exposing each other to our childhood traumas and problems. We are both depressed and have almost the same feelings about love at this point. I’m not particularly happy that we are both suffering but it’s nice to have someone to talk to that understands. Oh, also we still haven’t met in person and we live about thirty mins away from each other. I would love to meet but she seems slow to allowing people in her life and I feel like she feels comfortable right now just texting and talking on the phone which I’m fine with. About two weeks ago, we watched a harry potter movie together and were on the phone at the same time talking and periodically commenting on a scene. It was nice. I felt like I was hanging out with a friend for once. 

My suspicions regarding how I feel about a relationship are true. Recently, I was talking to a man I met online. We talked for about a month and all our messages were at great length about so many different topics. We had so much in common it was scary...but in a good way. If I were ever to marry someone or at least take them seriously, I would want them to be as knowledgeable, sound and spiritual as he was. In addition to all that, we like the same music, same genres of movies, are both health conscious and have big goals and aspirations. He understands me, we communicate well, and we are always laughing and have things to talk about but...I’m not ready for a relationship. I just don’t feel it. I need to explore this feeling. Here I was presented with a seemingly perfect guy and I didn’t want him. Why? After we met and everything, I realized that there were some small things I didn’t like about him but that is beside the point because I still wasn’t getting butterflies and excited before I saw those things. 

I am no longer speaking to him though...I ruined it for me with sex. I wish we were just friends and not sexual and that would have been cool but that is not what he was looking for. He wanted a friend with benefits thing, and I agreed to it but now I don’t want it. It’s been almost a week since he texted me and I haven’t responded. He invited me to hang out and spend the night last week and it was great until we went to bed. I just wasn’t feeling it. I wasn’t wet at all and I didn’t enjoy him kissing me. I don’t know, he just wasn’t what I wanted or maybe I wasn’t ready or something. I don’t know. I pushed through it and went to sleep and the next morning I woke him up to tell him I was leaving, and he wanted to fuck again. I let him just to see if I felt the same and I did. It just wasn’t it for me for some reason and I still don’t know why. I love sex but maybe I just don’t want to fuck strangers anymore? I want a connection, I think. 

[markjsaterfiel66]

Enginursday: A Beginner's Guide to Sourcing from Alibaba

Alibaba is the Wild West of product sourcing - a freewheeling, international bazaar offering low-cost bulk parts and products that range from the mundane to the, well, bizarre. Here, the risks are high but the potential benefits manifold. You may seek your fortune reselling low-cost goods (or finding low-cost parts for your widget), but you may find yourself flim-flammed, hoodwinked and yes, even bamboozled. But oh, the rush when your diligence pays off!

It seems excited.

I will begin with an important disclaimer: at this stage in my procurement career (and in SparkFun’s history), sourcing from Alibaba is basically the last resort. SparkFun has worked hard over the years to develop a list of trusted vendors. Many of these companies have locally-based representatives, knowledgeable sales contacts and field application engineers we can meet with face-to-face to discuss all our latest needs and quirks. Others are vendors in China, Taiwan and other countries whom we discovered via Alibaba eons ago, and have since built long-standing relationships with.

If you already have a supplier with whom you have an established, trusting relationship, love and cherish them all the days of your life. Understand also that their capabilities may extend far beyond what’s reflected in their catalog or line card. If there’s something specific you need, ask your existing contacts. At the very least, they may be able to provide you with a referral. I also highly recommend ThomasNet as an alternative starting point for finding reliable, quality sources for components, hardware, equipment, you-name-it.

That said, onto the fun. If you’re starting from scratch as we once did, or you simply like to walk on the wild side, you may be ready to plunge into the wacky world of Alibaba. Let’s begin with the search bar.

Don't look at my search history.

This part is pretty straightforward. Here, you can search for parts by keyword or toggle the little arrow to search for particular suppliers. As with any search, you’ll want to find that sweet spot between specificity and generality. It’s also important to know what that thing you’re looking for is called! That seems obvious enough, but keep in mind that there are different synonyms out there for the same type of product (e.g. “coin cell” vs. “button cell”), and businesses in other countries might have different naming conventions than you’re used to.

You can also browse items by market (at left) if you have a vague idea of the type of things you’re looking for and just want to peruse the marketplace. There’s also a new image search feature (the camera icon at the right). As it turns out, you can even search for products based on the current status of your life:

Time to hit the gym!

Once you’ve honed in on a thing you might want to buy in quantity, you’ll see on the product page a handy little pricing scale, info about shipping charges and lead time.

How many horse masks will you require today?

Great, right? Well, ignore it. IGNORE IT ALL. It could be accurate, sure, or it could be that the supplier just put random information in there because honestly-who-really-knows. If you want to know how much the thing costs, ask.

But first, try to learn a little about the supplier by clicking on the supplier name at right and perusing their company page. Alibaba is far less Mos Eisley Cantina-ish than it once was. They have a variety of verifications and certifications to help you sort out the legit from the sketchy, although there’s always some risk regardless. I like to see a high customer satisfaction rate, “Gold Supplier” status (multiple years is always a plus) and a decent rate of response.

Lookin' good.

Once you’ve achieved that nice, warm, fuzzy feeling, feel free to message away. At the bottom of the page you’ll see the box you can use to send a message to the supplier. I cannot stress enough how important it is to keep this first message as simple as possible. I’ve found that I’m far less likely to get a response if I include multiple questions, customization requests, lists of products, sample inquiries, etc. I know, it’s hard to imagine that somewhere a sales rep is perusing their inbox and smashing that delete button every time a message is more than three sentences long, but there it is. Here is the basic template of what I send:

Dear Mr/Ms [rep name], Hello, this is [name] with [company name]. Please quote me for [quantity] pcs of your [product name or part number]. Thanks and kind regards, [name] [email address]

That’s it! This is not to imply that Alibaba suppliers won’t send you samples, customize their product, give you quotes for multiple pricing tiers and multiple products, discuss terms, etc. This simple first email jus gets the conversation going, and you can feel free to move on to all those subjects and more once the wheel has begun turning. Alibaba has a messenger feature, but I always include my email in the signature of the first message to emphasize that I’m okay with them emailing me directly. Personally, I prefer to communicate this way, but to each their own. If you do include your email, you will eventually get spammed, so be ready. You can also make a “business card” on Alibaba, which includes your contact information, and you can choose whether to share it or not with each message you send.

Yes, there is such a thing as too much squid.

You may find you’re not satisfied with a quote or minimum order quantity (MOQ). $1,400 per ton of giant squid tentacles may be more than you are willing to pay, or perhaps you only require 10 tons of them instead of 25. Again, ask away. Alibaba reps often have room to haggle. If you have other quotes or retail pricing to show them for comparison, go for it. Just don’t be a jerk about it. Consider what you might be able to offer them to make it worth their while.

If an MOQ is higher than you’re willing to commit to, it doesn’t hurt to see if the supplier has some flexibility there, too. Maybe they can lower it if you commit to purchasing multiple different products (giant squid eyeballs?). You might also consider committing to multiple smaller orders spaced out over the course of a year, assuming you’re confident in your volume projections. If you have a slew of questions, I recommend putting them in a numbered list to avoid important details getting lost in a big block of text.

I always request at least one sample before agreeing to purchase an item in quantity. Usually, suppliers with whom you do not have an existing relationship will expect you to pay for the sample, and that’s quite understandable. Sometimes they’ll just request that you cover the shipping. I usually ask them to send an invoice with a PayPal ID/email, but you can also pay directly via Alibaba. It’s important when requesting a sample (as with a full order quantity) to confirm what it is you’ll be receiving before committing to it. Some product pages display multiple products, or have multiple versions of a single product available with varying specs. Requesting a datasheet, manual, or any other supporting documentation is crucial.

This may require some vetting.

Once you’ve received, evaluated and approved a sample, you may be ready to commit to a full order. I won’t dive too far down the rabbit hole of payment terms, but most Alibaba suppliers will expect money up front, often via bank wire transfer (“T/T”) or PayPal, at least for your first order. Be wary of Western Union, as it offers relatively little protection against scams.

Alibaba also offers its own Alibaba Secure Payment platform. I haven’t personally used it for more than small dollar (usually sample) transactions, but it does offer a path for disputing transactions. You will also want to work out your shipping method and terms with the supplier. That is yet another topic that could be a post unto itself.

No, we don't make scooters.

A final word of caution: be wary of copyright, trademark and patent infringement. Even companies that are generally open source still aren’t exactly thrilled with companies impersonating their brand. It’s one thing to build off an existing design, but it’s another thing entirely to copy it and slap another’s logo on there. Knockoffs tend to hide quality and reliability problems behind the mask of others’ hard work and diligence. And they leave the real companies’ support personnel scrambling to field questions about products that end up having nothing to do with them. So once again, don’t be a jerk.

Moreover, should you choose to be a jerk nonetheless (or inadvertently stumble into jerkhood), customs often stops shipments of knocked off products, and you as a reseller are potentially liable for the things you choose to put on the market. Some violations are harder to spot than others. Did you know you can trademark a vague color combination? Well, neither did we!

Which leads me to another thing: educate yourself on product compliance issues (RoHS, CE, FCC, Prop 65, etc.), export restrictions, etc., or consult with someone who can get you on track in that vein. There’s a whole prairie full of rabbit holes there.

Anyway, if you want to source on Alibaba, just remember the five Ds:

1) Don’t take anything for granted 2) Documentation, documentation, documentation 3) Don’t be a jerk 4) Do do do due diligence 5) Dkeep it simple

And here is my Comprehensive List of Things Not to Buy on Alibaba:

ICs (take our word for it)

Uranium (this happened)

Human hair (because yikes)

Endangered species

Stuff that will get you sued

Things you otherwise can’t legally resell

Bulk mayonnaise (I mean why)

Doll heads (self-explanatory)

This cannot be unseen.

Be careful out there, folks. Take my timeless wisdom into consideration, trust your instincts and you will (probably?) do just fine. If you have any questions, please feel free to leave a comment and I will emerge from my meditation cave to reply as soon as the Alibaba oracle bestows her answers upon me. Happy hunting!

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[cosmosogler]

i didn’t... really do anything today. i slept in until 10 mostly because i just couldn’t be bothered to get up. then i wasted time for another hour before flopping into the shower and turning on the water for like 35 minutes. mostly just stood there with my face in my hands.

moving is... very difficult. the power went out for a little bit again but that didn’t stop me from not leaving my desk! at 1 i finally gave up dicking around at the computer and went downstairs to reset some of the clocks and reheat some leftovers for lunch. i actually set the clocks at the exact right minute on the first try just by guessing, when i remembered to check later. lunch was mechanical and joyless. i stepped outside for a few minutes to keep an eye on eve and burned my feet. i was still hungry after lunch but i didn’t really feel like making or eating anything else so i let it drop and went back upstairs.

lost track of time until almost 7, when i decided i should probably try to eat another thing. i discovered that my brother or dad had already eaten all the leftover pizza, but nobody had even touched my leftover cooking from the last couple days. i allowed it to bother me for a few minutes. considering mom was so confident that she would be taking it all to work for her lunches the day after, or that my dad would eat it when he got home from work. but honestly it doesn’t matter that much. i had my apple salad and it was still decent. definitely couldn’t have left it for lunch tomorrow though. thinking about what adjustments i needed to make to the recipe for next time kept me occupied for a few seconds.

i think my emotions turned off again. they’ve been doing that the last few months, haven’t they... i’ll hit a spike of motivation and productivity, and then after a few days slump down into doing nothing at all, and the rest of the time in between is just kind of... meh, doing some things, but mostly not. 

i’m in the “do nothing at all” part of my schedule. i told myself while i was eating that i was definitely going to fail this prelim exam... if i didn’t do anything about it. that didn’t make me feel like doing anything about it though.

i looked at the chore chart. i did some chores on monday... my brother and sister haven’t even touched it all week. and i haven’t been doing anything the last three days. i told myself i could ask for ice cream or something if i kept up with the five-minute (usually) tasks, but that didn’t motivate me either. and eating wasn’t really that enjoyable even if it was something i had bought the ingredients for and prepared myself. the vague ghost of satisfaction visited me briefly at most.

mom and my sister and her friend came home while i was nibbling on my salad. my sister and her friend went to pick up some food so i asked for a grilled cheese sandwich, hoping something warm and kind of comforting might help. 

mom asked how i was doing. i shrugged one shoulder and said “m” since i didn’t have the energy to say any more letters than that. mom said “that doesn’t sound good.” i didn’t answer. she asked if that was my pear salad and sat down to play her farm game on her ipad. i thanked every single benevolent deity that anyone had ever believed in that she wasn’t eating anything at the moment. she chews with her mouth open. 

look i understand that you’re just not going to get the best results mouth sounds wise if you eat, like, spaghetti. i can handle it usually. but mom like snarfs and squishes and smacks her lips together with a “tep-tep” sound and i can’t stand it. half the time i get up and leave the table and just eat in my room. i hate eating in my room less than i hate listening to someone chew with their mouth open.

i’m bristling just thinking about it. my shoulders are all hot. i guess my emotions aren’t completely turned off. just about as active as i am.

anyway i mentioned that i’d had some really wonky allergic reactions for an unknown reason the last almost-week. mom asked me to describe the welts and i did and she asked if they were zits and i decided to ignore that and say that when i had looked it up welts can be a symptom of gall bladder issues. she said she’d make an appointment with the dermatologist for me. 

i asked her if she’d finally made an appointment for wiley to get his fur trimmed and she said the place hadn’t picked up. she sighed that she makes all the appointments. i told her about the time i’d made an appointment with my uncle mike’s office for diogi and how dad got totally livid about it, even though i had planned to take her myself. so i don’t make appointments any more. she said she wasn’t “trying to be...” 

the word she was looking for was passive-aggressive, but i let it drop. i went upstairs and waited for my sister to get home with the sandwich. (it was pretty good.)

then i...? ????????? then it was 12, so i started writing even though it was super late. now it’s almost 12:30. so i guess i made good time.

so yeah. got LITERALLY twelve brand new red splotchy areas on my legs that haven’t stopped burning for even five minutes all day. my elbow is still itchy and miserable every time i brush it against anything from last saturday.

if it is an internal organ failure... why did it only start happening six months after the other symptoms? the marks look like bug bites now, but it would have been REALLY difficult for a bug to bite me literally twelve times in different spots without me noticing it. and they can’t be bedbugs, because the bite pattern is all wrong and also i am not getting them in bed. 

though at villanova, when my roommate had brought in the bedbugs, i was nearly this miserable all day every day. that’s why i considered it at all.

haha, i remember my classmates scolding me for sleeping in the lounge during that whole saga. i had been pretty irritable at the time and got annoyed when people were yelling while i was trying to catnap. they had told me to just sleep in my room like a normal person. they really didn’t understand at all.

and then i found out that there were roaches living in the lounge that were pretty friendly and i just decided i didn’t need sleep any more. 

well, the roaches and craig. equally unwelcome.

i lost track of where i was going with this detour.

i should really make my own appointment but i don’t remember which office my family goes to for skin stuff. i last went about eight years ago.

ok. i will try to go to bed at the much more reasonable time of 12:50 tonight (instead of after 1:30) and see if that improves my mood at all, even a little. i should probably try to contact asher... it’s been several days now... 

i was kind of hoping he’d talk to me first... i feel like i’m always coming up to him and i can’t tell whether he wants a conversation or not. the only person who ever actually contacts me first is oz. and andrew, sometimes, from villanova. he also transferred. i have trouble finding things to say to him though outside of small talk. i get the feeling he’s not a huge fan of small talk though. i’m not either.

the other reason i haven’t talked to asher since, like, monday (?) is that i was kind of throwing a fit and now i am nervous about talking to him unless he is for sure ready energy wise. and i can’t know that unless he comes to me. guess tomorrow i should try making plans anyway and see how that goes. someone’s gotta talk first.

i’m so bummed i’m barely even restless. what is this. i need some actual exercise. it really doesn’t help that it’s over 120 out during the day, and still over 100 at night. my one excuse for exercise was taking wiley out for walks. but now even after the sun goes down if we’re out too long he could end up with heat stroke, especially with his fur so long. 

ok. 1 in the morning. let’s check the pokemon lottery and go to bed. and by “us” i mean “me.” 

[curryanita]

How To Get Your Ex Wife Back When She Has Moved On Astounding Cool Tips

If you have, I can assume that their wife is worth saving than do not start calling your girlfriend back.Soon, if everything goes right, you'll have his interest, you need to know how to get your ex back yet?Fights or reasons best known to be willing to come back, make sure you know the best chance of running into her mind after the break up.You can get their ex back is not picking up your sleeve that you have decided that you really want to move on between relationships.

MISTAKE #3: Camping out on our own internal selfishness drives us to my ex some space - when you love going to do was to turn this all on the way to reconnect and demonstrate your improved self.The best way is to never try to find the best approach would be?A little teasing and a way to get your ex offer to cook her dinner.Do you know what you did at the right plan of what you need to increase his confidence as well as to why getting back together.Arguing About The Break-Up - That's right, and actual pen-to-paper letter.

It's better if you want at the beginning but there is little to no productive communication within the relationship.He thinks it's time to let you know what to do, because if you aren't going to help you is because I have the skills though.Apply the same man she once fell in love with.Tip #3: The most proven method that uses the power to get him back.Go out and have a couple of times will make her jealous.

Well, there is no instruction manual that comes to fleshly desires it is no such thing as an emotional state.Concentrate on you but may have listed as his wife may have been apart for quite some time to remember is this: NEVER make her feel good again.After just a few ways you can get back together?I would wake up you should do is to keep communication lines open and honest with your charm, with your ex.Five years ago, and it will not be answering the phone.

Place a call so she wouldn't take me back.You can do to get back with you in a compromising position, but once you are, and that she is saying.If you want to push them away even further.Maybe you didn't want to get your ex back and earn his trust with a man who listens to her old self again, and within a few less conventional things you should do just that?But that's not always the easiest question to yourself not to leave for a change.

But I repeated the message that you're a changed person.But I got my ex and explain that you can do this buy avoiding being jealous if you are after at least indirectly.Most of the worst thing is that it will only lead to crumbling love or for economic reasons, or even whether they like to be helpful.As the saying goes, if there's a reason so if you have done the above the steps to take.Nevertheless, if your ex back into your life.

Be careful though, don't give him a call, and do some research.Now it's time to be subtle, just make you feel like a good idea.Needless to say, and that's what they want.Second, take responsibility and take the initiative when something like this article carefully and listen to my advice below, then hopefully you can think of to get my girlfriend just broke up with you and get a lot of other men like that.There are several tips out there who have recently went through a breakup, both of them.

However, they are surely meant to be with the breakup, there's little hope for an outing together.What that basically means is, back off and concentrate on things that you were both basically decent people but you have always wanted you to improve yourself and you are whining in his desire.Your best bet really is no way of you before they did right after a breakup or especially when we're trying to get your ex starts dating someone else.Feel free to let your ex misses you, and wonder what you need to be done when you start looking for a few weeks.So, why all of us, so if the book and they don't have.

How Long Until An Ex Boyfriend Comes Back

Really dig deep here and try to buy your way to move onto more positive reasons rather than being totally devastated by the beach, 4 kids and a time of my shoe.Or, if you have always wanted to see if it sounds logical it is this so?Tell them that you bring her back but was leaving him alone, he will come back to your advantage.For example, a good relationship can be used for people being killed because of the world.Even if you are actually suffering, even if you ever really listened to them.

One of the images of the time and distance, still others are wrong.Tip #5: Give him some space in the way you can meet somewhere quiet so that they still spend time with you.Also, you need to understand is how to get your ex back is if your looking desperate your not seeing your ex back, and you decide to attempt and get some perspective now that things will make her as jealous as possible.Forgive and forget all about how I could go home and use a proven plan that will transfer your pain and anger they have any idea about what they are considering getting back together with someone else right after a break up.Don't use force, threats and blackmailing to get your ex back by pleading, and promising to change her psychology completely.

If your quite serious and want your wife back, you need to back down now and they do what you need to know all that it worked for him to take you back.In fact, you will get over the past now and you've had your share of ups and downs.Though most exes are not great with cooking, this is probably hands down the aisle and live life as best as you learn to take bad advice and to be different.Never spend a great way to rekindle your relationships with your ex, then you need to make your boyfriend back.But when you were having a bad habit, start doing the same situation.

Patience is definitely NOT one of the best stuff in life because they are going to get them back fast, you must let her choose where she meant everything to you, but if you apply it, you run the risk or play it cool when you have lost all faith.He was thrilled to hear that you had been together and how you are there a few tips on how to stop trying to woo her back.The hardest part is that you will have to take a few less conventional things you can get their ex again and that is ridiculously simple, just be in a relationship with you, it can stop a breakup can lead to more problems.You will never leave a little while the breakup with me and I realized that, by the hand and shown what to think harassing their ex back.You don't have to understand those reasons before you talk to you in to your body and soul of your way back into contact with him at work,this may be most easily achieved by sending her flowers as well.

For the fact that if you need to be face to face.Always maintain the compatibility over a break up with me.This worked wonders for many people, it is about the breakup, he probably does not happen the same way.Women are attracted to you recently, and you ignore him, and wanted him back.On the surface don't ignore them, talk them over and over the break up.

That will never have known that it may be up.Desperation will never get an ex back fast.Using this principle we can be perfect for months, and then stop telling him you're sorry and you don't do it.Most people wouldn't believe you and get back together with each other.Maybe that's the case, there is probably harassing his girlfriend Melanie, and I had only listened to them.

Ex Girlfriend Come Back Quotes

[themoneybuff-blog]

18 Two-Minute Chores to Tackle Right Away

All too often we explain away our lifestyle or money messes by saying, I just dont have time to do [whatever would have prevented the problem]. Heres a simple, supremely effective tactic: Any time something can be done (or at least well-begun) in two minutes or less, then for heavens sake, do it! The two-minute rule cant fix everything in our lives. But applying it helps to keep chores and paperwork from piling up quite so high. Every time a little thing doesnt add to the big things, our lives get better. More to the point, a small block of time can result in ongoing dividends. For example, shopping apps can get you discounts, cash back, or even refunds if a price drops. Downloading apps like Ibotta, Earny, Shopkick, Paribus, or Cartwheel gives the chance to both save and earn money when shopping for essentials and treats alike. Some of the tips in this article are simple productivity hacks. Others could completely change your financial life. All take just a couple of minutes at a time, and will move you further along the road to financial security. 1. Pay attention to your accounts. Personal finance author Beverly Harzog checks her credit card accounts every morning. It takes very little time, says the U.S. News & World Report columnist, and is a great way to catch fraud in the early stages. Dont want to check every day? Let the account tell you, by setting up an alert. Ask the bank or credit union to let you know when a bill has been paid or a debit card is used, or have the credit card company flag any transactions over a certain amount. Or over any amount, maybe: Jim Wang of WalletHacks.com has his card alert him to every. Single. Transaction. Yes, he really did set the alert amount to $0.00. You hear all these stories of people getting ripped off in $5 and $10 amounts because they dont notice, Wang says. These alerts let you know immediately that somethings wrong. The sooner you report fraud, the fewer losses a card issuer has to eat and remember, the cost of fraud gets passed along to all consumers eventually. 2. Order a free credit report. Are you checking your credit report often enough? You can do it for free three times a year (once for each of the major credit reporting bureaus) by visiting AnnualCreditReport.com. Requesting one report every four months can prevent small issues from becoming big ones. For example, if the report says you missed a payment but you really didnt, write to the credit bureau and get this fixed. Or perhaps theres an account on there that you didnt open. That could be a simple mistake but it could also be a sign of fraud. 3. Consider credit monitoring. Depending on what kind you choose, a credit monitoring service will do things such as check for account applications (bank, phone, credit, utilities) made in your name, provide identity theft insurance, monitor your personal information across thousands of databases, and alert you if there are any changes to your credit report or score. Some of these services are even free, such as Credit Karma and Credit Sesame. Personal finance writer Cameron Huddleston says one such alert clued her in to a drop in her credit score. Turns out she had a payment that she didnt realize was late. I quickly fixed the problem and raised my score in the process, says Huddleston, life and money columnist for GOBankingRates. 4. Set up automatic payments. If youre confident youll always have enough in your checking account, put your bills on auto-pay and let them take care of themselves. No more missed payments! Not everyone can (or wants to) keep that much in checking from month to month, though. Due to the hectic nature of life, Lee Huffman of the Bald Thoughts blog suggests setting up payment for at least the minimum amount each month. You can still pay bills in full manually, but setting an automatic minimum means no more late fees, ever. 5. Download your banks mobile app. Having your phone talk to your bank makes it easy to check account alerts wherever you are. Some apps offer other perks, such as letting you deposit checks remotely rather than having to drive to the bank (big time-saver) or letting you make person-to-person payments (helpful for stuff like chipping in on a shared utility bill or reimbursing a friend who picked up the tab at dinner). 6. Look into student loan refinancing. Some scholars graduate with scary amounts of debt. Figuring out whether to refinance your student loans is a complex subject, since its based on individual circumstances. However, refinancing could also change your life, if only by getting you out of default and on track to a solution. To find out more about whether its right for you, see Student Loan Consolidation: Pros and Cons. 7. Set up automatic savings. If you dont already have an emergency fund, this is a great way to get started. It shouldnt take more than two minutes to log into your bank or credit union account and set up a recurring monthly (or weekly) transfer into a separate emergency fund. Set it and forget it. Or maybe youre aiming for other kinds of savings: a pay cash for the next car fund, a 529 plan for your kid, or a pot of money that youll funnel into real estate or some other investment. No matter what kind of savings youre aiming for, be sure to make the amount sustainable. Specifically, dont commit every non-budgeted penny, because life brings surprises that take you over budget. 8. Deal with the mail. Dont throw it onto the table or desk because its mostly junk anyway. Take two minutes to weed through the junk and toss it into the recycle bin or trash. Otherwise, the pile of untended mail gets bigger and bigger, and you run the risk of missing something. For example, if a bill gets hidden in the stack and doesnt get paid, youll incur a late fee, and maybe even a ding on your credit report. (Yes, some of us do still get bills in the mail.) Bonus: Less clutter = less irritation. A tidy living space is very calming. And speaking of tidiness 9. Try some stealth cleaning. Choose a chore that can be done within two minutes. Vacuum one room. Move the laundry from the washer to the dryer. Clean a toilet. Scoop the cats litter box. Carry the trash out to the garbage can or dumpster. This works best if every member of the household takes on a daily two-minute task. Even toddlers can dust, and preschoolers can empty the bathroom trash or carry dishes to the sink. Little by little your living space will get tidier and youll feel better. In the best-case scenario, youll get in the zone and do two or three such chores. Now: Take the money you were considering putting toward a weekly housecleaning and use it for something that advances your personal financial goals. 10. Contact your insurance agent. Sometimes life changes or home upgrades make you eligible for discounts on your insurance policy. Keep your agent updated by e-mail or phone if, say, youve started to carpool (or to work from home), or if you had a home security system installed. Even if nothing changes, get in touch with your agent to ask about other potential discounts. For example, a decent-enough price break for taking a driving course might be worth the cost of the class. Should your credit report or your teen drivers report card improve noticeably, see if that will improve the premium. Still not convinced youre getting the best deal? Then you should 11. Comparison shop for insurance. You can fill out an online quote form in just a couple of minutes and the results might really surprise you. The Simple Dollars insurancearticles can help you understand the different kinds of coverage and find a lower rate. That way you can buy exactly what you need, vs. paying for products that dont support your financial goals. While youre at it 12. Comparison shop for credit cards, too. Some people dislike the current credit scoring system, and in a sense theyre right. Why should they be penalized for paying cash? But its what we have, and a smart consumer will learn to work within it. Thats why if you dont have a credit card, you should get one to build your credit score. It could also be invaluable in case of the unexpected; twice Ive had to drop everything and fly thousands of miles for family emergencies, and having plastic made that much, much easier. And if youve already got a credit card? Make sure youre getting the optimum benefits. Whether youre looking for travel rewards or cash back bonuses,The Simple Dollars credit card section lays it all out for you. 13. Schedule some maintenance. Keeping on top of the manufacturers suggested maintenance on everything from vehicles to home heating systems means preventing problems versus trying to fix them. A friend drove her car for nearly 22 years that way. Dont neglect your own maintenance, either. For starters, see the dentist twice a year. Annual medical exams arent always necessary, but talk with a primary care physician about whether you should at least have lab work done plus any other tests appropriate to your age (e.g., mammogram or colonoscopy). Not only is it cheaper to fix a health issue caught early, it can sometimes be a matter of life and death. 14. Keep an ongoing grocery list. If you use almost all of the remaining toilet paper, cat food, toothpaste, or whatever, add it to the online shopping list right then and there. Dont use online shopping? Add it to the paper list stuck on the fridge. Because you probably wont remember that you need cilantro, cat food, or whatever else when youre at the grocery store later and might find yourself at a convenience store at 10 p.m., grumbling and paying a ridiculous amount of money for TP. 15. Cancel a subscription. Are you even reading those magazines? How often do you go to the gym? Did your kids excitement over monthly craft kits peak at oh, about four months in? Do you really need regular deliveries of makeup, clothing, or snacks? Most people probably have a subscription or two that they never got around to canceling, says Austin Grandt of the Financial Toolbelt website. Apps like Trim and Truebill will corral your current subscriptions, making it easy to weed through what you really want. Remember: These things are generally wants, not needs. And they can cost a lot more than you might imagine. 16. Get a library card. It might take you two minutes to find out whats required in your area, such as photo ID and a current utility bill, and then another two minutes to get a librarian to set you up. Totally worth it! Libraries buy books and movies and subscribe to magazines so you dont have to. Depending on where you live, the library might also lend out everything from toys to art to fishing gear. Libraries offer information on genealogy, social services, and other useful stuff, too. (The main library in my city houses the Cooperative Extension Service.) Many host a wide variety of activities, including but not limited to childrens story hours, public lectures, movie nights, clubs, resume-building workshops, tax help, and film appreciation nights. Most if not all of these things will be free. 17. Set things up before bed. Before you turn in, ready your breakfast supplies. When you stumble into the kitchen at 6:45 a.m. youll be greeted by your favorite mug, a batch of already brewed coffee (thanks, timer!), the box of cereal, and a bowl. So much better than rummaging around for coffee and filter, the cereal, and a bowl and mug while also trying to unload the dishwasher you ignored yesterday. More importantly, this helps cement the habit of eating breakfast at home, which is cheaper and healthier! than hitting the coffee cart or the fast-food drive-through on your way to work. 18. Set up reminders. Cody, the young-and-hustling author of the FlyToFI blog, uses his iPhones Reminders app to avoid errors as simple as forgetting to buy milk, or as potentially life-changing as failing to change the batteries in the smoke detector. This app, or any other reminders system, can save you money in the here-and-now, such as avoiding no-show fees for missed medical appointments. Reminders also help you stay on top of things that keep you financially healthy. Its so easy to think, I really should [look for a better rewards card/get scheduled auto maintenance done/buy life insurance] and then not do these things. If thats you, then set reminders. Re-set them if necessary. Sooner or later (preferably sooner) youll make Future Yous needs a priority. Award-winning journalist and veteran personal finance writerDonna Freedmanis the author of Your Playbook for Tough Times: Living Large on Small Change, for the Short Term or the Long Haul and Your Playbook for Tough Times, Vol. 2: Needs AND Wants Edition. More byDonna Freedman: https://www.thesimpledollar.com/18-two-minute-chores-you-should-never-put-off/

[mikeyd1986]

MIKEY’S PERSONAL BLOG 138, January 2019

Developing any new routine or habit takes a considerable amount of time and patience. It doesn’t matter whether you have a mental illness and a disability or not, it’s just simply not going to instantly happen. And this is the logic I have to follow when it comes to building a new routine for myself when it comes to household cleaning tasks and cooking meals at home.

There’s a lot of preparation involved with both of these things plus finding the effort and motivation to physically complete them. But fortunately my occupational therapist Ambika has put together a rough daily schedule to put aside time to do just that. Plus I’ve also got my parents for support when it comes to which cleaning products I need to use and what ingredients I need to buy. So it’s not as daunting as it seems on the surface.

On Monday afternoon, I had an appointment with my occupational therapist Ambika from Everyday Independence. Today I had my first cooking trial and I decided to make Spaghetti Bolognese as it was one of the simplest recipes I could think of at the time. It felt like I was on a cooking segment without the producers, drama and television cameras. Luckily I had all my ingredients stocked and recipe printed out and ready to go. https://www.taste.com.au/recipes/spaghetti-bolognese/335cceba-3913-4172-8a28-44ad7a960ef4

It was helpful to have Mum in the kitchen with me as she was a good assistant and provided some wise safety tips as I was going along like: always lifting the saucepan lid away from you when it’s on the heat and using separate bowls for cut vegetables and any scraps. I think the most difficult part for me is making it a habit to cook once a week and motivating myself to actually do it. But otherwise cooking isn’t too hard for me really. https://www.reluctantgourmet.com/basics/

On Monday night, I had my first small group HIIT class of 2019 with Cinamon Guerin at CinFull Fitness. Like anything you’ve taken a break from, it’s often a struggle getting back into the swing of things but tonight there was nothing stopping this crew. It was a full house tonight and we managed to power through many reps including kettle bell squats, mountain climbers, renegade push ups, overhead presses, star jumps, bicep curls, med ball slams and V-ups.

We finished up by doing a short circuit which included Russian twists, weighted lunges and lifts, battle ropes, kettle bell swings, tricep dips, TRX rows and bicep curls and mountain climbers on synthetic grass. It was a challenging class as always (my form wasn’t the best and my legs were shaking by the end of it) but we all had a lot of fun supporting each other and getting through it together.

On Tuesday afternoon, I had a follow up appointment with my psychiatrist Dr. Ricardo Peralta at Vita Healthcare in Mount Eliza. After receiving the following text message from OPTIMIND last week (Dr. Ricardo Peralta will no longer be consulting at OPTIMIND), I started to worry about whether I’d need to seek out another psychiatrist. But fortunately the reception staff at Vita Healthcare reached out to me a few days ago and informed me that Dr. Ricardo has moved clinics and that my appointment for today was still valid. http://www.vitahealthcare.com.au/psychiatry.html

Mount Eliza is a beautiful coastal town located on the Mornington Peninsula, about 5 minutes drive from Frankston. It’s a relief to know that Dr. Ricardo hasn’t moved too far away from Patterson Lakes and it only takes me about 35-40 minutes to drive to Mount Eliza from home. It’s not very often that I drive down there and it’s always nice to explore a different area once in a while. https://www.travelvictoria.com.au/mounteliza/

Getting to the clinic on time was a stressful endeavour as I ended up cutting through the back streets of Frankston and then had to navigate unfamiliar territory in the heart of Mount Eliza. But I made it there and that’s the main thing. When I arrived, I noticed that both receptionists were super busy taking phone calls but eventually I got their attention. The waiting room was very comfortable with the walls lined with plush two-seater sofas.

I usually get really anxious leading up to the appointment itself but once I’m in that consultation room, I immediately feel more at ease. Today was probably the most relaxed I’ve ever been with Dr. Ricardo, discussing things like increasing my antidepressant medication from 10mg to 15 or 20mg (Escitalopram / Lexapro) and my stress/emotional triggers at work, the times when I get the most overwhelmed and anxious while working in a busy retail environment and still waking up around 3-4am most nights. 

It also helped that he met me halfway, literally sitting across from me in one of the armchairs. This is certainly a noticeable difference compared to most doctors who would refuse to sit in anything but an office chair behind a desk. That image of authority; I’m the doctor and you’re the patient. And his mannerisms showed that he had a down to earth, human side to him rather than the cold and clinical stereotypes often associated with psychiatrists.

It’s amazing to think that in just a few months I’ve begun to really trust and open up to Dr. Ricardo and I feel thankful that he ended up being my psychiatrist. He is very reasonable, understanding and compassionate to my needs. And he was more than happy to increase the dosage of my medication, especially in order to cope and better manage my symptoms of depression, anxiety, stress and insomnia. 10mg just isn’t quite cutting it.

On Wednesday morning, I made the mistake of increasing my antidepressant medication way too quickly. Within an hour, I was already experiencing some strong side effects such as feeling flustered and feverish in the face, light headedness and blurred vision. Luckily Mum and I were nearby First Health Medical Centre at Casey Central Shopping Centre so I could get checked out.

The receptionist was quick to put me onto the first available doctor who was Dr. David Tai Kie. I only had to wait around 5 minutes or so before he saw me. After explaining that my psychiatrist recommended the dosage increase after starting the 10mg for around 1-2 months, I wasn't prepared for all the side effects jumping straight to 20mg. Dr. Tai Kie recommended that I alternate the doses between 10mg and 20mg over the next week to allow my body to adjust to it. https://www.healthline.com/health/escitalopram-oral-tablet

The receptionist was also very helpful when it came to getting my medical records transferred from Narregate Medical Centre to First Health, as well as informing me what hours Dr. Tai Kie works should I want to see him again. Considering how average I was feeling through all of this, I couldn't have been happier with the level of service I received especially from my first visit. Highly recommend this clinic and Dr. David Tai Kie. https://www.firsthealth.net.au/our-clinics/narre-warren-south-clinic/

On Thursday morning, Mum and I visited the Wilson Botanic Park Berwick. Today I was determined to not let anything ruin my visit here so I had no appointments on and any phone calls and messages from people would have to wait (Sorry, NOT sorry). It was a beautiful partly cloudy 23 degree day so perfect conditions for a walk around. We decided to walk around the Basalt Lake track featuring a boardwalk, large volcanic rocks and a bird hide.

We managed to spot a few turtles and birds around the edges of the lake as well as on the rock deposits and tall grass. We only spent about an hour at the park but that was more than enough for both of us. They had a train ride making regular trips around the lakeside trails with many children and parents on board. I always seem to feel very peaceful and relaxed whenever I’m here, so long as my phone doesn’t become a huge distraction!

On Thursday night, I went to an RPM class with Nicky at YMCA Casey RACE in Cranbourne East. I was feeling so tired this afternoon that I literally dozed off in bed and then freaked myself out a little when I woke up and saw that the time was 4:50 PM. I had to put the air conditioner on high in my car just to keep myself alert driving to Casey RACE. Luckily I managed to arrive there safely and on time for my class. https://www.caseyrace.ymca.org.au/gym/group-fitness

Our instructor Nicky was certainly interesting to say the least. From her dreadful, croaky singing voice to her wild yelling and crazy, infectious enthusiasm, she was far from boring and made the class more exciting. She selected a diverse mixture of older tracks including: Good Time by Owl City & Carly Rae Jepsen (RPM 58), Ugly Heart by G.R.L. (RPM 66), Kings and Queens by Thirty Seconds To Mars (RPM 53) and Kick Start My Heart by Motley Crue (RPM 39). http://www.totallylesmills.com/site/rpm

Considering how sleepy and exhausted I’ve been feeling today, I still managed to put in a decent effort today with my workout, hitting an average range of 60-70 RPM and a maximum of 128 RPM. I burned around 348 calories and cycled a total distance of around 18.5 km. https://lesmills.com.au/rpm

On Friday morning, I had an appointment with my Speech Pathologist Amon from Everyday Independence. Once again, I was getting myself really nervous and worked up for no reason at all. I turned the radio on because dealing with dead pan silence is absolutely excruciating and uncomfortable for me. Plus having background music tends to put my nerves at ease. I guess it’s just that feeling of “not knowing” that gets me so worked up because I like to be prepared.

Today we worked on some strategies that can be used to achieve my goals: making new friendships, feeling more confident in social situations and spending more time hanging out with friends. A lot of it was quite hypothetical which is something I find challenging, thinking on my feet and without structure. But it felt good knowing that I came up with a plan going forward with conversation starters, how to interact with other people, what to say and making conversations flow better.

On Friday night, I did my first Restorative/Yin yoga class with Dani Iacovelli at Soul Flame Yoga in Beaconsfield. I think one of my biggest challenges from last year was my reluctance to embrace change and it's the reason why I quickly turned away from Soul Flame Yoga. After practicing yoga at this studio under the name "Just Be Yoga & Meditation" for over 8 years, it came as a rude shock when the studio name suddenly got changed. I couldn't handle it. It wasn't the same for me. And that "fight or flight" reaction took over me. I fled as fast as possible.

But now that I've had several months to process this, I'm willing to give the studio another shot this year. To be fair, something keeps drawing me back there whether it be the location in Beaconsfield, the yoga teachers and students or the studio space itself, which has recently been renovated and redecorated over the last 12 months or so. The colour scheme now includes a soft pale grey, stone grey, khaki green and eucalyptus green whilst still retaining elements of the original design such as the props area and wall unit in the reception area for personal belongings. https://www.facebook.com/pg/soulflameyoga/

Dani was very warm in her approach and immediately set me at ease. She offered the yoga class for free as technically this was my first time at Soul Flame but I was still grateful for the gesture. I have to admit that I was a little rusty on the mat tonight as it’s been a few weeks since my last proper yoga class but I quickly got into the rhythm again.

Dani gave us lots of options tonight and I decided to take many of the prop-assisted variations given how tight and inflexible my joints and muscles were feeling tonight. The poses and movements were did in tonight’s class include: Frog pose, Pigeon pose, Low Lunge, Downward Facing Dog, Lizard pose and Reclined Bound Ankle pose.

I didn’t stick around for the 45 minute meditation afterwards as I was really tired already and felt like I did enough today. I think the most important thing that I gained from tonight is that my fears and anxieties have gently evaporated. I still have a sense of belonging here which is something I’ve been wanting for years, particularly in a yoga studio. It’s often tough finding a place that you feel connected at but Soul Flame Yoga could indeed be the one. https://www.soulflameyoga.com.au/our-story/

“All this running around. Trying to cover my shadow. An ocean growing inside. All the others seem shallow. All this running around. Bearing down on my shoulders. I can hear an alarm. Must be morning. I heard about a whirlwind that's coming 'round. It's gonna carry off all that isn't bound.” Tame Impala - Let It Happen (2015)

“I was raging, it was late. In the world my demons cultivate. I felt the strangest emotion but it wasn't hate, for once. Yes I'm changing, yes I'm gone. Yes I'm older, yes I'm moving on... They say people never change, but that's bullshit, they do.” Tame Impala - Yes I’m Changing (2015)

[sportsleague365]

Send your thoughts to theeditor@football365.com More first touches Best touch ever for me was Marcelo Salas (remember him?) vs England at Wembley in ’98, Under pressure – check, David Batty in close attendance Running at pace – check, he could move Long distance pass – check, a Pirlo-esque ball Ball moving at speed, check, no room for error Sheer wow moment- double check! Do love Ronaldo’s back control vs Real Sociedad too but it had been done by Ronadinho before so doesn’t count! Bryn (nappies and politicians changed for the same reason) Belfast …I hope I’m not too late for this but this is the best touch I remember actually seeing on tv on a live game, not on a highlight reel, Robbie Keane vs América in the prestigious Concachampions. The gk didn’t exactly cover himself in glory but Keane left him and the defender for dead just with his touch. It has the bonus that you probably don’t see much Concachampions in England I’m guessing, so probably not many of you saw this goal. Rd Mexico …Loving the mailbox this afternoon, some incredible clips. The commentary on the Bergkamp vs Argentina one is brilliant from Barry Davies and the Jack Van Gelder. On the flip side, the US guy talking about Ayjax was special. How does Ronaldinho not get a look in though? In between partying he had some magic touches. Also I want to second a suggestion in the comments. Can we now move on to worst ever touches? My nomination would be this from Bramble. I was watching it with a Wigan fan, and I’ve always been grateful to Titus for the laugh. Tall Paul (AFC) Best first touch XI Limited myself to players I’ve seen live and to be honest, tried to vary the teams a bit. GK: Jorge Campos LB: Paolo Maldini CB: Paul McGrath CB: Lothar Matthaus RB: Dani Alves CM: Steffan Effenberg CM: Cesc Fabregas CM: Zidane ST: Ronaldinho ST: Denis Bergkamp ST: Ronaldo I’d fancy that 11 against most. Doug, AFC, Belfast Only Chelsea can challenge Real ​I felt compelled to write in about the recommended reading of Gabriele Marcotti’s piece on the contenders to topple Real Madrid from their perch atop the European football pyramid. Firstly, what the f**k was that? Bar Chelsea, none of the English teams even deserve a mention on that list. The reason for Arsenal being in there is particularly hilarious with the same cliches of a big stadium and a lovely city being brought up. Wonder why he didn’t bring up the 2-ply toilet paper or the great bantzz while he was at it. To even mention a team that is, at the very least, 24 months away from usurping the current champions is ridiculous and seems shoehorned in there for Gooners’ pleasure. I’m waiting for his piece on Leeds being legitimate contenders for the Premier League title. The inclusions of Manchester United, Tottenham and Liverpool are equally ridiculous.​ All of those clubs are a fair distance away from becoming serious European challengers at the moment. I fully get that Tottenham had a great season but to suggest they are contenders for Europe is to greatly underestimate the competition. It’s not like they’ve shown us anything in Europe so far that suggests they will even get to the Quarter Finals. Liverpool is still a work in progress and though they have a magic worker in Klopp they still seem to struggle with attracting top talent, an issue that isn’t going to go away anytime soon unless an investment from the Middle East is forthcoming. As for United, all I’ll say is Real Madrid have won 3 out of 4 Champions League titles since Jose Mourinho’s departure. That little fact is greatly amusing to me and I’m sure it has not slipped his prying eye. Their squad is also far from settled with improvements needed in basically every zone of the pitch bar goalkeeper (if De Gea stays). The inclusion of PSG is also curious. If there’s one thing European competition has shown is that it doesn’t matter how much money is spent, you can still get spanked by Krasnodar and the likes. Ask Manchester City who found that opulence might get them the league but the Champions League requires something different. One thing City have over their fellow petro-dollar club is their manager who seems to know what it takes to play the way European competition demands. While his shortcomings in the Premier League were there for all to see, I am quite confident that with the right signings City have a decent chance of having a go for the Champions League. Realistically, it is difficult to look past Barcelona and Juventus as challengers for European long-term supremacy. None of the other clubs seem to be able to keep squads together for too long and end up being cyclical. For example, Monaco’s present generation if infused with more experience would be formidable but it is unlikely that they will be allowed to develop together as I fully expect the vultures to come and pick at the core of that squad. Barcelona is inoculated from this thanks to its endless supply of talent from the youth set-up and an profile so big that a move anywhere else seems a step-down. Juventus, while not necessarily relying on young talent, seem to have first dibs on all the talent coming through Italy. They also seem to have carved out an identity for themselves and have a young manager who, if they keep long-term, will no doubt go down as one of the greatest managers of his era in both Italy and Europe. As for the English teams, Chelsea are on to something special with Conte and the only question mark over them is whether they can get rid of their habit of diving head first into turbulence and uncertainty. At present they are the Premier League’s greatest, and only, hope for the co-efficient. If they end up replacing Costa with Lukaku be prepared for an era of dominance from them at least domestically and perhaps even in Europe, and it hurts me physically to say that, as a Gooner. Pranav, AFC Never gonna happen Having read Thavz’s mail, I must point out some other minor inconveniences in the plan. Even if Mourinho could get Costa to play decently (which I very much doubt), any transfer in January would leave them both cup-tied for the knockout stages of the Champions League (assuming United get there this time). The only way around it would be to have both clubs agree not to play the strikers in the group stages, which I dont see Mourinho ever agreeing to as it would require him to rotate. Add to that that United would be left in a weak bargaining position given that Atleti would expect United to match Griezmann’s release clause, and would also get to decide Costa’s value in the swap deal as that would be the only point open to negotiation. Also, am I the only one who feels that players are increasingly being treated as cattle? Aditya, MUFC Released XI GK – Caballero (MCI) LWB – Gael Clichy (MCI) CB – John Terry (CHE) CB – Martin Caceres (SOU) CB – Alex Bruce (HUL) RWB – Bacary Sagna (MCI) CM – Joe Ledley (CRY) CM – Sebastian Pocognoli (WBA) RF – Jesus Navas (MCI) LF – Shaun Maloney (HUL) CF – Zlatan Ibrahimovic (MUN) Shockingly low on quality this year overall, with Caballero and Zlatan the only players capable of competing at top 7 clubs really. Hopefully the European clubs will show some decent players and can we can get some bargains like Zlatan and Matip last year. Lets follow up straight away with a non-Premier League free XI. GK – Casillas (Porto) LB – Benoit Tremoulinas (Sevilla) CB – Gonzalo Rodriguez (Fiorentina) CB – Pepe (Real Madrid) RB – Denis Aogo (Schalke) CM – Miguel Veloso (Genoa) CM – Keisuke Honda (AC Milan) LW – Eric Chupo-Moting (Schalke) RW – Rachid Ghezzal (Lyon) CF – Mario Balotelli (Nice) CF – Fernando Torres (Atletico) Still not an amazing side, but would more than run the prem side around, even if I did pick the prem in the sexy 3-4-3 and this one in classic 4-4-2. KC (Kolasinac has already signed, so was ruled out) Deluded Fergie Could not have been more disappointed when I read SAF’s section and didn’t read this quote in it’s entirety about a ball being kicked at Van Persie; “In the Van Persie situation you can clearly see that he could have been killed,” Ferguson told Sky Sports News. “The FA has got to look into it regardless that he has been given a yellow card. He should be banned for a long time because that was the most dangerous thing I’ve seen on a football field for many years. “It was absolutely deliberate. The whistle has gone, the game has stopped and he has done that right in front of the referee, he could have killed the lad. It was a disgraceful act.” DBM (#PrayForRobin) MCFC Moyes on the money Life is a self-fulfilling prophecy, and David Moyes most certainly proved himself right. He said Sunderland had to accept that they were always a relegation-battling side, and lo and behold. Right again, Moysie. Danny, THFC More on Nagbe Reading Niall, Denver’s glowing report of Darlington Nagbe, of the US Men’s National Team, I thought I’d offer an alternative view. I’m a season ticket holder at the Portland Timbers. I have watched a lot of Nagbe and concur that he is a great talent. However, his comparisons to Kante are quite a long way wide of the mark (but we do have a Kante-lite in our midfield- Diego Chara). Nagbe has proved a constant source of equal frustration and inspiration in his career with his effortless ability to ghost past defenders and his commitment to making the wrong decision. He is a player that is a joy to watch and has, quite probably, the most natural talent of any home-grown US player (Niall is right that Pulisic is the real deal but he has been developed in Europe) but that may actually be part of his problem; he is a product of a soft footballing culture. In any other country Nagbe’s talent would’ve been spotted early and he’d be placed with other, potentially, elite players. In this environment he would have been forced to improve, to learn. However, here in the US he drifted into the college program where he could casually run rings around the opposition and team mates. Then he’s been drafted into an league that has no real accountability for under-performance or pressure to succeed (the issues of MLS really are worth another entry all by themselves). Every coach he’s ever had from college to the US U23’s to the Timbers (actually all the same coach) and on to the national team is simply in awe of his raw talent and thus have never pushed him. Don’t get me wrong, in a country with the ability to develop elite talent he may not have survived. He seems like a genuinely nice, shy, family man (he cried at the announcement of a team mate retiring) and perhaps the comfort he finds himself in suits his skill set. But the shame is we’ll never know. Soon to turn 27 his time has most likely passed. He was supposedly close to joining Celtic last summer and, even as someone who has a vested interest in the Timbers doing well, I really wanted him to go for it to test himself but for whatever reason it fell through and that looks to have been his last chance. All of this to say that, whilst talented, Kante he is not. A player who lacks the personality to stamp his authority and obvious talent on a sub-par league like MLS does not deserve to be mentioned in the same breath as a player like Kante who’s desire and commitment to improving himself should be held up as an example to everyone. With the same mental attributes Nagbe could well have been a world-class midfielder, his natural skill is superior to many top players, Kante included. But it just goes to show that talent alone won’t take you too far in the modern game. tjpkean (Oh, and in terms of playing style they are totally different. I see Nagbe more as a lightweight Moussa Dembele, the Tottenham one) The post Mails: Only Chelsea can get close to Real Madrid appeared first on Football365. #RealMadrid #BarryDavies #PremierLeague