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cuddlepilefics · 3 years ago

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A Wild Ride

Fandom: Stray Kids

Sickie: Seungmin

Caregivers: Minho & Changbin

Seungmin comes down with the flu close to their Christmas break but insists it's just a cold. Nobody knows why he refuses to rest but he effectively runs himself into the ground. Luckily, his hyungs are there to pick up the pieces. Two hyungs in particular.

No one’s POV.:

It had been almost a week since Seungmin had come down with what seemed like a particularly bad cold. While he himself insisted, it was only a cold and that he’d be fine working through it, the rest of the members had their doubts. The vocalist’s cold had come seemingly out of nowhere, one second, he had been fine and the next, he hadn’t and the fact that he pretty much instantly started to run a temperature, only raised their suspicions, that maybe, Seungmin was sicker than he let on. As long as he didn’t agree to be sick enough to take time off though, there was no mercy for him in regards of schedule. With a longer break coming up, they were drowning in work, rushing from one event to the next. Holiday photoshoots, interviews and recording Christmas songs, along with their normal dance practices, were already challenging for the healthy members but for Seungmin it was hell. Chan had already banned him from dance practice only two days into his sickness, firmly stating that the second youngest wouldn’t participate in long hours of physical activity as long as he had a fever. The only times he’d let his dongsaeng dance were when they performed one or two songs on TV after an interview, which would be less than ten minutes of dancing but with how intense their choreographies were, they were more than enough to raise Seungmin’s fever and leave him dizzy.

The hyung-line especially had started to keep a closer eye on their dongsaeng, trying to discreetly help him where they could to make things just a tad bit easier for him. When their day ended with another two to three hours of dance practice, Minho convinced Chan that he wouldn’t miss much if he skipped practice today and instead took Seungmin back to their dorm. The younger wouldn’t participate anyway and would truly benefit from an early bedtime. Seungmin didn’t even register what his hyungs discussed and simply trudged along when Minho linked their arms and pulled him in the direction of their dorm. The poor boy looked dead on his feet, especially after not getting a proper night’s rest for the past week. He was coughing a lot, especially at night, which always kept him up. If he did manage to fall asleep, he’d be plagued by endless nightmares, tossing and turning, which left him even achier than he had been before going to bed. Seungmin didn’t even notice they had already arrived at their dorm, when Minho crouched down and undid his laces for him, afraid the younger would get dizzy or pass out if he had to bend down.

“How does a nice warm bath sound?”, the dancer offered, “You must be so sore after being out and about all day and I bet you’d sleep a lot more comfortable after washing up.” Seungmin shrugged tiredly. Yes, he was sore and he’d probably be more comfortable if he could wash off all the sweat that had soaked his clothes over the course of the day, a clear reminder that his fever hadn’t gone down in the slightest. On the other hand, the vocalist just wanted to crash already, not having the energy left to do anything else. “Come on, hyung will run you a bath and get you some clothes to sleep in. You don’t have to really do anything”, Minho promised, aware that his dongsaeng wouldn’t be able to stand in the shower, as every minute he had to stand on his own two feet drained him of energy he didn’t have to begin with. Too exhausted to fight, Seungmin allowed his hyung to drag him to the bathroom and plopped down on the closed toilet lid. His eyes closed on their own accord as he rested his pounding head in his hands. Faintly, he could hear the tap running, the tub slowly filling. Minho chose a relaxing lavender scented bubble bath, wanting his dongsaeng to sleep a bit better than the previous night. He had contemplated using a eucalyptus bath-salt to help the vocalist’s cough and maybe soothe his muscles but he remembered the younger complaining of nausea at some points during the day and didn’t want to use a too strong scent.

Turning off the water, Minho checked the temperature to make sure it wouldn’t raise Seungmin’s fever but still feel comfortable before brushing the hair out of the vocalist’s face to catch his attention. When his dongsaeng looked up at him with glossy eyes, Minho rested his palm against the younger’s forehead, cupping his cheek with the other. “Your fever’s still just as bad”, he cooed, stroking the boy’s flushed cheek with his thumb. His soft and caring voice being enough to bring his dongsaeng to tears. Seungmin’s emotions had been riding a rollercoaster all day, changing faster than anyone could predict. It wasn’t too surprising, considering the fever and the lack of sleep, but still, it was concerning. Seungmin’s breath hitched with a quiet sob, a hot tear trailing down his cheek, making his hyung frown: “Ssh, it’s okay. Why don’t you remove your contacts first, hm? Aren’t your eyes burning?” The younger nodded, forcing himself up on shaky legs, hobbling over to the sink. Minho wrapped the boy in a back hug and steadied him, while his dongsaeng struggled to get the contacts out of his swollen eyes. By the time he was done, his legs had reached their limit, giving out underneath him. Luckily, the older caught him around the waist and eased him back onto the closed toilet. “Alright, let’s get you out of those sweaty clothes and into the tub. You do the pants and I’ll help you with the sweater?”, Minho offered, holding on to Seungmin’s shoulders. The vocalist nodded, struggling to get his pants down to his knees, from where Minho had to take over. Then the dancer carefully peeled away the damp sweater, making the younger whimper. His skin felt so sensitive.

Minho let Seungmin hold on to his arm and shoulder as he weakly climbed into the tub, laying back with a relieved sigh. “You promise me to stay awake and not drown while I get your clothes”, the dancer whispered after shoving the sweat-soaked pile of clothes into the wash, “I’ll heat up some water, so you can have some tea before bed. Might help you throat some.” – “Mhm, can you pleased get me that hoodie to wear tonight?”, Seungmin replied hoarsely, his eyes remaining closed, too sensitive to handle the light. The hoodie the boy was talking about was a special one, he always wore when he was feeling low. It was a little quirk of his, that his friends found most adorable. The clothing item way too washed-out to still be worn in public but the soft material always comforted Seungmin. “Sure, want me to turn off the light and leave the door opened a crack?”, Minho smiled turning to leave. When his dongsaeng hummed in confirmation, he exited the room and switched off the lights. Leaving the door slightly ajar, so that it wasn’t pitch black darkness inside.

After a short trip to the kitchen to start the kettle, Minho went to their shared room and collected Seungmin’s comfort hoodie and a pair of shorts. He didn’t want to put the boy in long sweatpants afraid he’d bundle himself up under too many blankets and make his fever worse. Not that he could blame him after witnessing the vocalist’s chills the previous night. Minho made sure not to take too long, knowing all Seungmin really wanted was his bed. When he returned to the bathroom, the younger was slowly dozing off, making his hyung smile: “I thought you promised me not to fall asleep. Come on, you can go to bed in a second, just sit up for me so I can wash your hair and you’re all done.” Seungmin gave a weak whine but sat up and turned his back towards Minho, so the older could wash his hair. He had to admit, the way the dancer massaged his scalp did feel nice, but honestly, he just wanted to lie down. Getting out of the tub, drying off and putting his clothes on resembled torture but Seungmin relaxed when he felt the familiar material of his comfort hoodie on his feverish skin. Minho thoroughly towel-dried his dongsaeng’s hair before simply scooping him up and carrying him to their shared room. He only stepped out for a short moment to get Seungmin his tea but when he returned, the boy had already curled up under his blanket, soft congested snores filling the room. Sighing, Minho placed the tea onto the nightstand before leaving to wash up himself, so he could listen to music in his own bed, while being able to keep an eye on his friend.

About two hours later, Seungmin woke up completely disoriented. All he knew was that he had witnessed something terrifying and that his throat was so dry it felt like he had swallowed sand. What exactly had happened in his dream, he couldn’t recall but when he looked around the room, he found both other beds occupied and soon also spotted the cup on his nightstand. Though the tea had long since cooled, Seungmin greedily chugged it down in hopes of soothing his throat. As he became more awake though, he realized just how bad of a mistake that had been. The liquid sloshed around his stomach, making him feel queasy. A soft whimper escaped him as he threw off the blanket and forced himself up on unsteady legs. His head spun but he knew he had to be quick, stumbling to the bathroom and almost tripping himself on the way there. When Seungmin finally made it to the bathroom, he weakly sank to his knees in front of the toilet but nothing was happening, so he folded his arms on the toilet seat and rested his head on them, already drifting off.

That was how Changbin found him not much later. Seungmin had almost fallen asleep if only he hadn’t felt so cold. Shivering violently, the chills kept him awake. “What are you doing here, Minnie?”, Changbin cooed softly, running his hand up and down his dongsaeng’s back. The younger whimpered at the touch, barely lifting his head as he admitted: “Felt like I had to be sick but then didn’t.” – “You didn’t throw up?”, the rapper confirmed and Seungmin shook his head. His head pounded and he screwed his eyes shut, just wanting to sleep. Why did he still feel so cold? He tensed when Changbin’s cold fingers brushed the side of his face. “Yeah, your fever went up quite a bit. How does your stomach feel now? Think you can handle some medicine? Because I doubt you’ll be able to get some proper rest while being this feverish”, the older worried, already rummaging through the bathroom cabinet. Seungmin only shrugged. His stomach didn’t feel that amazing but if his fever went down just a little, that would hopefully soothe his headache and chills a bit, so he could go back to sleep. Changbin also got some water from the kitchen and helped his dongsaeng take his medicine, sitting with the younger while he worried it might come right back up.

“I-I think I’m okay now”, Seungmin breathed, moving away from the toilet. Helping the vocalist stand, Changbin offered: “Do you want to stay with me tonight? You look like you could use some cuddles.” Despite his exhaustion, a small smile appeared in the boy’s lips and he nodded, allowing his hyung to pick him up and carry him to the room the rapper shared with Chan and Felix. The settled in comfortably, with the two Aussies knocked out only a few meters away. Quietly to not wake his roommates, Changbin whispered: “Why are you doing this to yourself, Seungmin-ah? You know you could’ve taken the day off and don’t tell me you’re fine because I can tell you’re far from that.” Sniffling softly, Seungmin cuddled into his hyung’s side, resting his aching head on the rapper’s chest. “It’s not that much longer till we’re on a break, I guess I just want to be there for Stay before we’re off for so long”, the vocalist whispered, a tear slipping from the corner of his eye, only to be soaked up by Changbin’s shirt. “You know, Stay would understand. It breaks my heart to see you so miserable”, the rapper whispered back, “Just think about it, we have two interviews tomorrow and will preform at least one song after the second one. Do you really want to put yourself through that? You don’t have to answer me now, just take the night to think about it and see how you feel tomorrow. If you really feel up to that. We’d all support you if you say you’d rather stay back and rest. Or rather, we’d be more than happy to see you resting because the way you’re pushing it right now, you’ll make yourself worse and probably will stay sick till after Christmas. That’s not a way you want to spend your holidays, is it?” Changbin’s words held so much truth, Seungmin couldn’t help but break down. Luckily, he didn’t expect an answer tonight because the poor boy was too feverish and emotional to reach a decision on the spot. He couldn’t even tell what was stopping him from taking a sick day, just that it seemed like the end of the world to do so. Seungmin’s hands tightly fisted the fabric of his hyung’s shirt, who just continued to shush him softly, running his hand up and down his dongsaeng’s back, though barely touching him as he could tell the poor boy felt so sensible most physical contact hurt.

While Seungmin had soon cried himself to sleep in Changbin’s hold, the rapper couldn’t go back to sleep, still stroking his dongsaeng’s back. Along with Jeongin, Seungmin was their maknae and therefore held a special place in the hearts of his hyungs. They all felt rather protective over him and as if being sick wasn’t already bad enough, watching the vocalist struggle to power through an impossibly packed schedule was just heartbreakingly painful. Changbin could only hope his dongsaeng would consider his words and stay back at the dorm tomorrow. The rapper was still awake, worrying, when Seungmin suddenly sat up with a gasp, coughing harshly. Sitting up too, Changbin held his shoulders and studied the younger’s face to see whether he needed to be sick or if this was just another one of his nightly coughing fits. He barely heard the shuffling of his roommates getting up over Seungmin’s painful cough but looked up when Chan walked up to them, cringing in sympathy at the tears spilling down the vocalist’s feverishly flushed cheeks. The room was only illuminated by one of the reading lamps but even so, it was clear to everyone that Seungmin shouldn’t have left the dorm that day. Felix soon joined them with some water, which the younger slowly sipped in hopes of soothing his irritated throat. “Sorry for waking all of you”, Seungmin rasped after catching his breath. Gently drying the boy’s tears, Chan disagreed: “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for. Are you okay now?” The younger nodded, leaning back into Changbin, who shifted them into a more comfortable position, so his dongsaeng could go back to sleep on his chest. Though hesitant, Chan and Felix soon went bed to sleep too and eventually even Changbin drifted off despite his worry.

The next morning, Seungmin didn’t feel remotely better but he had made up his mind. He wouldn’t skip out on work. It wasn’t that much longer till their break, so he was sure he’d somehow manage to power through. He barely ate anything for breakfast as his stomach felt off and deliberately ignored his hyungs’ worried and disappointed faces when he announced he’d be attending their schedule along with them today. The vocalist already put on quite a bit of concealer before leaving the dorm. He’d have his makeup done professionally later but he didn’t want the staff to see just how awful he looked. Seungmin already regretted putting in his contact lenses as they irritated his sensitive eyes and made them water but he didn’t consider his at-home-glasses fashionable enough to attend any interviews wearing them. Especially not when they also had to perform at one of those interviews. On the drive to the first venue, he tiredly rested his aching head on Minho’s shoulder, who didn’t comment on it but simply wrapped his arm around the younger’s shoulders, holding him close. As cold as the dancer always portrayed himself, as soft he could be when he knew his dongsaeng’s needed somebody. Changbin was similar. They both teased their members to no end but when they were just as soft and caring when their friends weren’t feeling well. That was especially true for the younger members of the group, who might not even be aware of how protective their hyungs actually felt towards them.

The first interview passed in a blur for Seungmin, who just focused on sitting with a good posture and smiling before being led back to their dressing room. They were soon ushered back to the car, which drove them to the next venue and this time, Seungmin dozed off with his head on Changbin’s shoulder. He hadn’t even noticed that he had started to cry until the rapper took his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, quietly asking him what was wrong. The younger only shook his head, mumbling that he didn’t know. Sniffling, he sat up and tightly clamped his sweater paws over the lower half of his face before sneezing a congested double into his fabric covered hands. Just when Seungmin wanted to get comfortable on his hyung’s shoulder again, they arrived. Nobody really judged him when they noticed his messed-up makeup, rather pitying him when he had to get it fixed. While some of the members went out to get them lunch, a makeup artist worked on making Seungmin look as presentable as he probably could in the current situation and the vocalist himself was truly surprised. He hadn’t thought he could fool anyone, when claiming to feel fine but now, he looked alright and nobody would suspect a thing, if he didn’t try to talk with his sore throat.

He then met up with his friends to have lunch before the next interview and although Seungmin didn’t have the slightest appetite, he knew that skipping another meal wasn’t an option. Not when they were going to perform. “Here, I picked you up some chicken soup. It should be light on your stomach and maybe soothe your throat some”, Changbin hummed, placing the container in front of his dongsaeng, “We also brought some medicine, so you can take that after you eat. Should help with the pain and fever some. Are you sure you’re good to perform though?” – “Thanks”, Seungmin rasped quietly, avoiding his hyung’s eyes, “I think so, just…. I don’t think I can sing like this. I sound awful. What if Stay are disappointed that I can’t sing a single note clearly?” Taking a seat next to the younger, Changbin sighed: “First of all, Stay would understand that you are sick. Second, we could have someone else sing your lines or have you lip sync, though I think you’re to proud to lip sync.” It was true, Seungmin would either sing himself or have one of his friends take over his lines because he believed a good performance included live vocals. He quietly ate his soup, hoping it would soothe his throat enough to help him sing. Stay would be disappointed if the main vocalist didn’t sing a single line, so he didn’t think he had another option than to at least try, despite being anxious about the way it would sound.

Soon Seungmin had forced down all of his soup, as well as the two pills Minho had handed him after throwing away the younger’s take-out container. They could only hope it would kick in before they had to perform because with how feverish and fatigued he felt, dancing was one of the things he really didn’t want to do right now. Why Seungmin didn’t just call off his mission, nobody knew. Stray Kids, as well as their manager and staff would have loved for the boy to just take a break but although they had a hard time treating him as one, Seungmin was an adult and none of them could tell him what to do. They could only watch the poor boy pushing himself further and further.

The interview itself again passed in a blur to Seungmin, who wouldn’t have been able to focus even if he wanted to. His shirt stuck to his sweaty back, while goosebumps pricked at his skin. The medicine had somewhat eased the headache but it was still lingering and he couldn’t help but notice the soup he had eaten slosh around in his stomach. He could still taste it at the back of his throat and was afraid dancing would make him sick. Now, Seungmin’s biggest fear had shifted from not hitting his notes to throwing up in front of an audience. From the corner of his eye, Minho could see his dongsaeng’s hands tremble and casually rested his hand on the younger’s knee, giving it a comforting squeeze and hearing the vocalist draw in a shuddering breath as he tried to calm himself. Before Seungmin could consider himself mentally prepared for what was to come, they were already walked to a different stage and Minho guided him to his starting position, shooting him a worried look. The younger surprised himself as his body moved entirely from muscle memory and despite his head spinning and the dark spots clouding his vision, Seungmin didn’t once trip himself or lose his balance. His body ran on adrenaline and desperation alone as he belted out his notes, making his throat burn. Seungmin absolutely despised what he sounded like right now, his voice flat and his intonation off with how stuffed up his nose was. There was no going back now though.

The final beats rang out and as they struck the ending pose, Seungmin was shaking violently from the strain. His friends noticed but couldn’t do anything but pray he could hold on till they were backstage, as to not raise suspicions. They bowed and started leaving the stage, Seungmin already tearing up as soon as his back was turned towards the cameras. Minho and Changbin walked on either side of him, guiding him away from the prodding eyes. As soon as they were out of sight, Minho wrapped his arms around the younger, while Changbin and Chan led the other members back to the dressing room to give their main vocalist some privacy. Burying his face in Minho’s shoulder, Seungmin broke down entirely, harsh sobs tearing from his throat. He had tried so hard and had given it his all, yet the result was so dissatisfying. The older tightened his hold around his dongsaeng’s waist, glancing down the hallway to see if there was a place they could sit down because he could feel the other sway on his feet. “You did great, Seungmin-ah. I know it doesn’t feel like it to you but you really did great”, Minho whispered, close to Seungmin’s ear. The only reply he got was a pitiful hiccup, which made him sigh. His dongsaeng had obviously reached his limit.

Unfortunately, the crying didn’t do Seungmin’s already queasy stomach any good and soon he wasn’t sure whether he’d faint from how lightheaded he felt or end up being sick right there. Grabbing his hyung’s arm with undeniable urgency, the vocalist shot the older a panicked look and luckily Minho was quick to catch on, pulling him towards the closest restroom. The dancer soon had to realize that Seungmin was not nearly as steady on his feet as it had seemed like when they were standing embracing each other. Frequently tripping himself, the younger almost fell, so Minho scooped him up and hurriedly carried him the rest of the way to the restroom, carefully setting him down on the floor in one of the stalls. They got there just in time, Seungmin almost immediately choking up a gush of his soup. His lunch hadn’t even really gotten a chance of being digested. The boy’s head ached from the strain and his muscles burned. He was barely able to hold himself up after spending what little energy he had had performing. Minho carefully slipped one of his arms under Seungmin’s and laid it across the vocalist’s chest, holding him securely as the younger continued to be sick. “You’re okay”, the older whispered, gently stroking his dongsaeng’s back. The boy just looked so frail, it broke Minho’s heart. Seungmin just sniffled softly in reply, already mostly empty but not daring to open his mouth.

Changbin had changed out of his performance clothes and removed his makeup right away, wanting to finish up with everything as quick as possible, so he could focus on Seungmin. He was worried when neither Minho, nor Seungmin joined them after a while. The rapper understood that his dongsaeng was overwhelmed and upset at himself, that was why he had wanted to give them some privacy, so Seungmin could calm down, but they were taking so long, it didn’t sit right with Changbin. Fetching a bottle of water, the rapper exited their dressing room and walked back to where he had left the pair only to find them nowhere in sight. He glanced down the hallway and noticed a restroom sign on one of the doors. Seungmin had already felt like throwing up the previous night and with all that dancing, Changbin wouldn’t be surprised if the younger had managed to upset his stomach. He quickly made his way over and already heard soft cries from inside, worriedly pushing through the door. He soon made eye contact with Minho, the dancer’s hurt clearly displayed in his eyes. With barely any warning, Seungmin slumped back into his hyung’s arms, who was luckily able to catch him and adjust his grip. “Do you think your done?”, Minho whispered, gently brushing the bangs out of his dongsaeng’s face. Screwing his eyes shut, the younger whimpered: “I-I don’t know.” – “Ssh, it’s okay, Minnie”, Changbin hummed, “Hyung, why don’t you go and get changed, remove your makeup and I’ll sit with Seungmin till his stomach has calmed down?” Minho nodded gratefully, wanting to get out of his sweaty performance clothes. He carefully helped move Seungmin into Changbin’s arms, wincing in sympathy when the younger groaned at the ache in his muscles.

When Minho was gone, Changbin unscrewed the water bottle he had brought and asked: “Do you wanna drink a few sips? Just to soothe your throat and get rid of the taste. You can also just rinse out your mouth.” Seungmin nodded, shakily trying to push himself upright. The older supported his back and raised the bottle to his dongsaeng’s chapped lips. After swishing the water around his mouth for a few seconds, Seungmin spat it out and leant back against his hyung. He didn’t dare consume anything right now but the taste had been awful. Changbin helped him get comfortable on his chest before tearing off a wad of toilet paper and wetting it with some water from the bottle. With one hand, he combed the younger’s hair back and with the other, he dabbed away the sweat and tear tracks before wiping the other’s chin and throwing the paper into the toilet, flushing it. “How about you go home now, hm? You’ve pushed it enough and ended yourself sicker than before. Let us take you home, yeah?”, Changbin murmured, carding his fingers through Seungmin’s hair. Nodding, the boy couldn’t help but tear up again. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt this awful and it hadn’t even been worth it. He hadn’t been able to give Stay the performance they were expecting from him, his voice nothing like it usually sounded. His struggle had been in vain.

“It really looks like you’re done, so let’s work on getting you home”, Changbin smiled sadly, “You don’t really have to do anything other than try to relax and tell us is anything is wrong, yeah?” Seungmin nodded with a pathetic sniffle and weakly clutched his hyung’s sleeve when the older hoisted him up, carrying him back to their dressing room. They had a small couch at the back of the room, where Changbin placed the boy down, sitting down too, so the younger could rest his head on his lap. Seeing them walk in, Chan and Minho were quick to approach them, both already having changed their clothes and removed their makeup. “Hey, mate”, Chan cooed, worriedly feeling Seungmin’s forehead, “I got some icepacks, that I’ll place on your wrists and legs, okay? I know it’s cold and uncomfortably but your fever got really bad.” The younger didn’t care anymore, yeah it felt cold but in a way it was nice on his burning skin. The only thing his hyungs asked him to do, was remove his contacts, which he did, completely unbothered without a mirror, handing them to Minho, who put them in the container. The dancer then grabbed some makeup wipes and ran them over Seungmin’s face, making sure to keep his touch light. He had to repeatedly run them under the younger’s swollen eyes to get the smeared eyeliner off. Afterwards, he moved one of the icepacks to Seungmin’s forehead, draping it across his face, so that it also covered his eyes. Completely spent, the vocalist was soon knocked out in Changbin’s lap, who didn’t dare to move in the slightest for the fear of waking him. The rapper also ended up carrying the boy to the car as soon as everyone was ready to leave and settled Seungmin next to Minho who moved his dongsaeng’s head onto his shoulder, so he’d be able to sleep through the drive. About halfway into the drive, the younger woke up though, looking around disoriented and tearing up. Minho gently guided his head back down and held his hand cooing when Seungmin whimpered: “All I do is cry, I don’t even know why I’m crying.” – “Ssh, that’s the fever. Cry as much as you need to, today has been a wild ride. You can go back to sleep, we’ll get you home and to bed, so you don’t have to worry about anything. Hyungs have got you”, Minho promised, giving his dongsaeng’s hand a light squeeze.

#stray kids #skz #sick #sickfic #fanfic #fanfiction #emeto #fluff #comfort #2min #seungbin #soft

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meltwonu · 4 years ago

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| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 | [CHAPTER 12]

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; camshow, sex toys, overstimulation, tiniest mentions of daddy!kink, a lil bit of a filler chapter!, this is the most btsvt chapter that it’ll ever get so i’m sorry if you dont like that!! 😭😭, a bit of a lighthearted chapter too tbh to ease everyone back into cherry bomb! 💕 I know its been like two fuckin weeks since the last update which is honestly insane to me! I almost couldnt remember where we even left off lmao kdjfhds 😩💕💕 Thank you for being so patient with me and waiting it out while we had two weeks of Monster Mash! Starting Monday, I’m gonna be going back to my normal posting schedule! 💕 have a great rest of the weekend, yall! 🍒

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - ?

“Wait, seriously? You want to work here? But--but I thought you were from out of town?”

Jun’s eyes light up with excitement; fingertips crushing the resume you passed to him moments prior. “Um, well, there was a change of plans… and I’d really like to work somewhere where I have a friend! If you guys are still hiring, that is...” You reply back meekly.

It’d taken you all morning to write up a resume, blushing a little when you realize most of your income had been from camming. It’d also made you pause for a moment when you realized that it meant Jun would also know your real name too; as well as everyone who came through the diner and all of your coworkers.

“Yeah, of course! I, um, just give me a second to pass this to my manager, okay? I’ll be sure to put in a good word!” Jun shoots you a wink before he turns to leave.

You take the opportunity to sit down at a nearby booth, fishing for your phone to text Seungcheol.

‘I think I might be getting the job!!’

cheollie ✨: oh? Not that I doubted you, but is it confirmed already?

‘Mm… Jun is trying to put in a word for me! But I’m confident!’

cheollie ✨: thats my baby ;)

You hear someone call your name hesitantly, only to find Jun standing a few feet away looking at you sheepishly. “Um, sorry, your name’s on the resume so I figured…”

“Oh! Yeah, it’s fine!” You awkwardly giggle. “I figured writing ‘Cherry’ as my name wouldn’t be too smart when you need to cross-reference my ID if I get the job.” Jun laughs as he takes the seat across from you in the booth, papers in hand.

“Well, I convinced my manager to let me interview you. Told him that if we’d be workin’ together that I’d want to scope you out for myself! He bought it, can you believe it!?” Grinning, he sets your crumpled resume down next to a small stack of papers. “I don’t doubt you’d pull your weight around here but I do have to ask… Why here of all places? I thought your, uh, other job was enough? Or I guess I assumed...” You bite your lip, flip-flopping on whether or not you wanted to let him know exactly what happened that led to your sudden decision.

“Um… There were just some big life changes I had to make on the fly and I’ll be living around here now! I’m trying out some new things… I also figured if I worked with you, then you’d know my schedule the best too! And you seem like a really nice and cool guy.”

Jun nods, smiling back at you.

“You got that right!”

“You’re seriously going to start working there?” Jeongguk raises a brow, cables in hand as he sets up the extra PC in his streaming room. “And the guy working there knows you? That doesn’t bother you?”

Seungcheol laughs under his breath, “Yeah and he knows me now too. And knows I’d kick his ass if he tried anything.” You pout from your place in the expensive gaming chair; eyes focused on Jeongguk who shimmies under the desk to start plugging in the cables.

“Well, yeah he does know me, but he’s also one of my regulars and knows the schedules I’ll need, so I think we can trust him!” They both nod and Seungcheol is quick to cross the small room until he’s right behind you.

“He seems like a nice guy though, I don’t think we have to worry.”

Jeongguk slides out from underneath the desk, dusting off his pants as he stands. “And if he does end up being a weirdo, there’s always a place for you at the roller rink!”

Seungcheol rolls his eyes, hands gripping onto the backrest of the chair.

“No.”

“Hey guys, welcome back to Golden Closet Gaming! I’m JK, your regular host! Today, we have a suuuper special guest! Why don’t you introduce yourself, pretty lady~”

You take a deep breath as you lean in close to the mic; somewhat nervous and a little out of your usual element. “Hi everyone~ I’m Cherry! Some of you may know me from, um, the other side of the streaming-sphere but I’m joining my friend today in hopes of boosting our channels together and having a ‘lil bit of fun!!”

Seungcheol sits at the side as he watches the two of you; a small smile painted on his lips at the way the two of you seem to fall into your characters easily despite the somewhat different platforms and influx of different viewers.

The sound of donations and comments pour in a lot quicker than Jeongguk, himself, is used to; eyes wide and eyebrows raised as he pauses to watch them flood the screen.

sleepy_wonu has donated $100

xcaliburDK has donated $100

sleepy_wonu: never thought i’d be donating here but here we are

xcaliburDK: i was always a silent watcher but u kno i had to donate for my favorite girl!

seokGENIE: i feel like i’m entitled to something for taking your shift so i wont be donating, sorry pretty girl

j__min: can’t believe this kid got a collab with you before i did :(

j__min has donated $200

dtsug__a: i dont normally watch streams either but im curious

Jeongguk laughs, still in disbelief as the donations continue to pour in from a combination of your viewers and his. He always made a decent amount from his viewers but he couldn’t deny the pull you had from your viewers as well. “Wow, um okay, my donations are adding up a lot quicker than they usually do. That’s… Hey, whaddya say to streaming with me regularly?” He jokes.

A shy laugh bubbles up your throat; ears and cheeks burning hot at the idea. You had never collabed with any other streamer before and despite your initial hesitance and unsureness, you too, were shocked to find how well the two of you were doing without your usual content.

“Erm, I’m not very good at gaming though… I don’t think your viewers would like it very much...”

seokGENIE: thats ok jk sucks at gaming too, it wouldnt be too different

j__min: lmao fkjdhf

dtsug__a: does he get roasted often on this channel? If so i’ll be tuning in more often

dtsug__a has donated $100

dtsug__a: for your troubles, pretty gal

“On second thought, let’s let this be a special occasion, huh? Maybe collabs for the holiday, Cherry?” Jeongguk grumbles and Seungcheol has to bite his lip to keep in his laughs from his side of the small room. You start to feel more and more comfortable at the lighthearted atmosphere; tucking a stray hair behind your ear before you lean in towards the mic again.

“Ah! Speaking of, don’t forget to tune into my camshow tomorrow~! JK and I will be gaming on there as well but… with some added fun to match my channel~! 21 and over only~” You blink at the computer screen, still a little unused to the idea that you weren’t technically being filmed. Although, it was a nice change for once; not needing to be all done up for a show and simply just talking to your viewers and reading comments.

sleepy_wonu: is dom daddy gonna be on the show too?

“Dom daddy? Oh you mean Se---”

“Yes! Kind of!” You cut off, laughing nervously. Nobody knew Seungcheol’s name except for Jun and you were trying to keep as much of him private as possible, until he was ready. “In a sense, he’ll be there! You guys will just have to tune in to find out!”

Jeongguk laughs into his own mic, scooting in closer to his desk as he loads up the game.

“I think that’s enough chatting for now, huh? Let’s get started! Tonight we’ll be playing Phasmophobia! We’ll be playing something more lighthearted on Cherry’s channel, as she requested. So tonight we’ll be playing something I picked out. You ready, baby?”

Seungcheol narrows his eyes, quietly taking a sip of his water.

“Ready when you are!”

“I gotta say, sweetheart, for someone who doesn’t play video games too often, you’re not too bad.” Seungcheol comments, nodding his head in amazement as the three of you exit Jeongguk’s PC room. He’d had a hard time keeping in his laughs as he watched from the side and he had to admit, you were even cuter when you were outside of your usual element.

“I have to agree with hyung, but maybe it was also the adrenaline and screaming that kept you goin’.”

The two males share a laugh as you pout and plop down onto Jeongguk’s living room sofa. “Hey, how were the numbers for tonight, by the way?” You ask quietly.

“Honestly? I think we made almost triple of what my channel usually sees. I know I don’t really make a ton off of my streams since I don’t really do anything, like, crazy but shit… Even I’m shocked at how much we made.”

Seungcheol’s lip ease into a smirk; Jeongguk really had no idea how much the two of you had made off of a couple videos alone.

“We still have one more stream to do and then we can just pool up the money and split it down the middle!”

Jeongguk nods, stretching as he sits himself down onto the other end of the sofa. “I’ll bring my spare PC stuff so we can set up a little early tomorrow, if that’s cool with you two? Maybe have some food before we get started too ‘cause god knows I’m gonna be starving.” You look to Seungcheol who nods and checks his phone for the time.

“Yeah, we need to set up the cameras and lighting a little differently too so we’ll probably start earlier. Just text me before you drive over so we know when to expect you.”

You yawn next to Jeongguk; adrenaline having worn off as the tiredness finally sets in. “It’s so weird, usually I’m only just starting my stream right around this time but I’m so exhausted now...” Seungcheol’s eyes from cute crescents as he smiles down at you, stepping closer as he goes in to smooth down your hair.

“You really were screaming a lot, to be fair. How about we head home and you can sleep in the car?”

“Okay~”

Seungcheol lets you sleep in on Saturday morning, watching as your chest rises and falls with soft breaths.

He takes a moment to think over the last few weeks of his life and he can’t help the disbelieving expression that crosses his features when he realizes just how much had changed over the course of just weeks.

When the two of you had met, he wasn’t expecting much. He expected the two of you to hang out for a few days before you went home and forgot he even existed outside of your camshows and the comments section. But now that so much had happened between the two of you, Seungcheol felt a deeper connection to you and felt the need to protect you even moreso than ever.

He sees you shift slightly, sleepy eyes blinking open as you peer up at him. “Good morning, sweetheart.”

“Mm… g’morning ‘cheol…”

You grimace sleepily at how hoarse your voice sounds, “Ew, I sound so… gross.”

Seungcheol moves to get out of bed, leaning in to kiss your forehead before he shuffles towards the bathroom. “I’m going to wash up but you can stay in bed if you like. I’ll make you some tea for your throat, okay? We have a long day ahead of us and I don’t think you wanna sound like that later tonight.”

Nodding sleepily, you lay back down as you yawn and let the sleep take over once again.

“Are you really sure ‘bout this?” Jeongguk takes a bite of his pizza as he watches Seungcheol pull the desk closer to the bed.

“What do you mean?” You ask; readjusting the light that was closest to the younger male. “Like, I dunno, I’ve never been on a cam show like this so… I mean do I have to do anything different?” You laugh lightly as you go in to pat Jeongguk on the shoulder.

“No, just be you. And we went over it already earlier, the only thing that’s different is going to be me! No weird tricks or anything, I promise.”

Seungcheol places another monitor on the tabletop, grunting as he goes. “Yeah, and in all honesty, I would hate to have to watch you get off, ‘Guk.”

“Oh shut up, hyung. You say that like I don’t know what you’re packin’ under those sweats. I think it’d only be fair! Just two bros getting to know each other.” Seungcheol pretends to gag just as you double over in laughter. “No, absolutely not, ‘Guk. And also, nobody told you to watch those videos!”

Jeongguk pauses, lips pressing into a firm line. “You right, you right…”

You leave to get changed just as Jeongguk starts to help Seungcheol set up the last few bits of equipment. He leans in close to the older male, eyes glancing around the space to make sure you were completely out of earshot. “Hey, hyung, honest question.”

“Sure.”

“Are you really okay with all this?” Confusion crosses Seungcheol’s features as he raises an eyebrow at the younger male. “What’s ‘this’ exactly, ‘Guk?”

“Y’know, her living here and you camming all of a sudden, among everything else really… And the question if you’re in love with her which, by the way, we still all know that you are.”

A blush coats Seungcheol’s skin, fingertips almost losing grip of the camera he was about to mount to the desktop. “Listen, yes, okay, I do… like her a lot. But she’s going through a lot right now too and I don’t want to freak her out either. There’s a lot of life changes we’re going through so I’m just going to ...wait.”

“You’re a good man, hyung.”

“Hi everyone!”

You wave to the camera, winking and blowing a kiss to the camera propped up between the two monitors on the table. “I know, this setup is a little wild and not my normal but this is part two of my collaboration with Golden Closet Gaming! Do you want to introduce yourself to those who missed our other stream?” You turn to Jeongguk who nods; this time a little nervous as he stares directly into the camera.

He’d said he was okay with being filmed since he wasn’t actually part of any sexual acts, but he still found himself a little camerashy now that the two of you were live.

Seungcheol sat directly behind the monitors and cameras; his phone open to your cam show to watch from a different angle.

“Ah, hello! I’m JK of Golden Closet Gaming! I’m a friend of Cherry’s and no we won’t be fuckin’.” Jeongguk ends with an innocent smile that has you holding back your laughter.

therealchan99: i dont think dom.cheol would like that very much anyway

universe_WZ has donated $100

universe_WZ: unless he’s into watching

dom.cheol: no

alphagyu97: oh shit hes back

angelhan: huh, so hes not there?

“Oh, he is! He’s behind the camera~” You gesture beyond the camera to where Seungcheol sits and he leans over to quickly wave upside down in front of the camera to prove his existence.

j__min: ah, of course~ we know your daddy would never let you play with anyone else~

j__min: he likes you too much ;)

emerald.tae: oh? also hi new watcher!!!

emerald.tae: ur videos were great!!

emerald.tae has donated $200

therealchan99: im gonna need to start fighting ppl for ur attention i swear

gentleman_josh95: implying u had it

chwenon: yooooooo lmao

“You guuuuys, be nice! Just for that, I’m gonna be sending you a special private pic, okay ‘therealchan99’? You guys pick on him too much!” You pout.

therealchan99: hahaahhAHhhahaHAAHAA FUCKIN LOSERS SUCK ON THAT

tangerine_kwan: bruh

chwenon: damn guess we should can it

You respond to a few more comments as Jeongguk sits by and watches the way you interact with your viewers. He also takes note that you had a donation minimum before you started actually doing anything on your channel and that you’d already hit it pretty quickly.

“Okay! I think we should start now, huh? Oh, I should explain what’s going on!” You giggle cutely, settling into your space on the bed. “So JK and I will be playing this stilt man game! We have to get our character to the finish line without falling or the level restarts! JK has to get to level 30 and I have to get to level 20 and whoever reaches their goal first, wins!”

“I have a higher level to reach ‘cause our skillsets are different and we all know I’d smoke her if we both had to reach the same level.” Jeongguk grins.

seokGENIE: sure

seokGENIE has donated $69

sleepy_wonu has donated $100

hoshi_tiger_xx has donated $100

“And the reason why ‘dom.cheol’ is behind the camera is because...” You pause, eyes twinkling with playfulness as you stare directly into the lens. “In order to get me to do my best, he’ll be controlling a special toy I’m wearing~ Hehe, if my character falls, he’ll raise the vibration setting each time as punishment and leave it on until I cum…”

“Which we are assuming will be a lot. Unfortunately, no medic on standby.” Jeongguk jokes. Seungcheol rolls his eyes as he laughs from behind the camera.

“We have a safeword, don’t we, sweetheart?” You nod in response, “Mmhmm!”

“Let’s get it!”

It takes all of four stages before your character falls for the first time.

Seungcheol turns the vibrating panties on and you immediately jolt as you try to keep your character upright on screen. “Oh, f-fuck!”

kitty_junjun: uh ohhhh it begins

artist8hao: i don’t think she’s gonna last.. babygirl is so sensitive, she’ll probably cum soon

xcaliburDK: i’m giving it until level 6 before she cums

emerald.tae: oh are we placing bets

“Noooo~ Don’t place bets on me, I’m weak!” You whine; already squirming as the vibrations attack your clit. Seungcheol grins from in front of you as Jeongguk laughs from your side, already on level 7 on his own screen.

You had to admit, it was a little weird for someone else to be in the room with you while Seungcheol basically used a toy on you, but the younger male seemed to not care about it at all. Although, he had already seen most of you and Seungcheol at this point.

Your fingertips are shaky on the keyboard and computer mouse; already fearing the way Seungcheol’s eyes almost become darker the longer you struggle.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart? Is the game too hard?”

“A-ah, n--no, it’s not that b-bad…” Squirming, you grind down a little harder onto the bed just as your character falls on screen and Seungcheol raises the setting to the second highest in the blink of an eye. “Ngh, fuh---fuck!”

“Uh oh~ Should I slow down to let you catch up?” Jeongguk teases.

“N-no, I can beat y-you!”

The donations and comments pour in as you struggle to keep your calm and get your character to the finish line; letting out a sigh of relief as you finally enter the fifth level. You let out a choked sob as you already feel your panties starting to stick to you like a second skin from how wet you were getting and Seungcheol can’t help but chuckle.

“You know, you’re technically allowed to cum whenever you want. It’ll just… slow you down, is all.” Grinning, he watches as you look beyond the camera towards him as you pout.

“But I--I wanna win!” You cry; palms clammy as you try to rush through the fifth stage, only for your character to fall almost immediately. “Nooo~”

Seungcheol clicks the vibrator to its highest setting and your body goes rigid as the vibrations wreck your body. You start to grind against the toy as you chase your orgasm and forget about the game almost completely. In a perfect world, Seungcheol would have his cock snug between your walls, but instead you clench around emptiness as you crave his cock.

artist8hao: ah shes already cumming lol

seokGENIE: on level 5? Fuck

universe_WZ: her cute lil cunt cant take it, poor babygirl

seokGENIE has donated $50

emerald.tae has donated $75

alphagyu97: cum baby, u kno u wanna

alphagyu97 has donated $75

A small choked whine is all you can manage before you do cum; eyes clamped shut and fingers wrapped tight around the computer mouse as the waves of pleasure crash down onto your body. Donations and comments flood the side of the screen from a combination of your viewers and Jeongguk’s as they watch your face contort in pleasure.

“Ah, sweetheart, you’re really falling behind~ JK is going through the stages so quickly while you’re sitting there cumming~” Seungcheol teases. He licks his lips, simultaneously wishing you were sitting on his cock while you played your game.

That’d have to be for another time, he thinks.

It takes a second for Seungcheol to turn the toy off and your body immediately slumps forward as you catch your breath. “Ngh, d-damn it…” You grimace when you re-adjust yourself and find your panties soaking wet.

“I’m already on level 17, babe. You gotta catch up!”

You can only groan in response, flexing your clammy fingers before you try to focus on your own screen again.

kitty_junjun: oho looks like our princess is focused now

tangerine_kwan: u got this baby

j__min: show ‘em who’s boss, babygirl

You tune out the sounds of the comments and donations as you manage to get yourself to level eight without falling, but level nine proves to be just a little too hard as your character falls and Seungcheol turns the vibrator back on to its lowest setting again.

“Be careful, baby. Wouldn’t want to fall behind again would you?”

Seungcheol feels his cock throbbing in his sweats as he watches you bite your lip. And for the first time all night, he wishes that Jeongguk would just win and go home so that he could have his own private time with you.

“I’m on level 22 already. D’you think she can even catch up?” Jeongguk teases. He spares you a side glance, taking in your form slumped closer to the table as you try to fight the vibrations.

Your body was already extremely sensitive from your first orgasm and you quickly losing your confidence as you struggled to keep your character upright. If you came even just one more time, there was no way that you’d be able to beat Jeongguk with how quickly he was going through the stages.

therealchan99: she’s cumming just as quickly as JK is getting thru the stages hfdsf

gentleman_josh95: shes so cute when she cums tho

angelhan has donated $50

angelhan: thats the real prize angel

“T-thank you…” You whimper out, fingertips twitching against the keyboard and mouse as you focus your attention to the game to the best of your ability.

You manage to get to level ten with no more issues just as Jeongguk gets to level 25 and you let out an exasperated sigh as your character falls over again. “Uh oh~ I think I’m gonna win!” Jeongguk cheers; giddiness washing over him as he works to get to the end.

“Nooo~ That’s n-not, ah, fair!” Whining, you grip the mouse tighter as Seungcheol raises the setting on the toy again, watching as you rub your thighs together at the feeling.

hoshi_tiger_xx: sadly nothings fair in the gaming world babe

hoshi_tiger_xx has donated $50

dtsug__a has donated $50

dtsug__a: cute for thinkin so tho

“I don’t th--think I can, hah, c-catch up...” You moan. Your character on screen falls over one more time and all you hear is Seungcheol’s small ‘tsk’ under his breath as he sets the vibrator to the highest setting and leaves it there.

It doesn’t take long before the vibrations prove to be too much for you and you let go of the keyboard and computer mouse as your hands ball up into fists on top of the table.

The pleasure washes over you in sharp pin pricks; small whines and whimpers falling from your lips as your eyes completely clamp shut.

Jeongguk lets out a surprised noise at the way the donations and comments almost make the screen lag and for the first time, his character on screen falls over at his split second loss of focus.

“Ah, fuh--fuck!” You start to squirm once the pleasure starts to bleed into overstimulation and Seungcheol is quick to respond, “You’re gonna cum one more time as punishment for giving up, sweetheart.”

alphagyu97: ooo she's in troubleeee

gentleman_josh95: ahhh daddy still has to punish you after all

seokGENIE: damn is this what this channels abt? this is hot

artist8hao: babygirl always misbehaves

chwenon: she seems to like it too much 😏

dtsug__a: hooooo shit, thats hot

“It’s n-not my f-fault, hah, JK is j-just good at g-gaming...” You mumble.

Jeongguk manages to get to level 30 within the time you sit and grind against the toy; small noises of excitement falling from his lips as he cheers for himself!

“Aww, poor baby. Maybe you’ll focus a bit better next time, hmm?”

You nod frantically as a small tear slips down your cheek and your lips part in a breathy moan. “God, I--I’m c--cumming!”

Your body locks up, ears ringing as you cum one more time. Seungcheol wishes he could work you through it; hands massaging your skin as you take your pleasure or thrusting his cock into you as he chased his high with you.

Instead he watches from across you as your body twitches as your face contorts in unadulterated bliss, licking his lips the entire time with images of what could’ve been dancing behind his eyelids.

Jeongguk watches as the donations far surpass what the two of you made on his channel; brows disappearing into his poofy head of hair. “Wow, uh, y’all seem to really like it when she gets punished, huh?” He mutters under his breath.

“Don’t you?” Seungcheol teases.

“Truuuuue.”

A garbled moan has both of their attention on you as you try to shy away from the toy still vibrating against your overly sensitive clit. “Ah, ‘m too sen--sensitive now...” You cry.

Seungcheol turns the toy off completely as your chest heaves in deep breaths; pouting at the fact he wasn’t able to enter the camera frame to take care of you.

Jeongguk grimaces slightly at the way your body sways in tiredness next to him, unsure of what to do next now that he’d won.

“Haha, um, medic?”

#cherrybomb!cheol #seungcheol smut #scoups smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #scoups scenarios #scoups imagines #seungcheol imagines #seungcheol scenarios #seventeen scenarios #svt scenarios #seventeen imagines #svt imagines #svt fic #seventeen fic #scoups #seungcheol

383 notes · View notes

kisskeiji · 4 years ago

Text

6. Love me right.

Lost & Found.

WARNINGS: language, mentions of self doubt and spiraling

The closer the Volleyball Association awards ceremony was, the busier your schedule was, with the end of the season and the team winning their final match your phone wouldn’t stop ringing with reporters from sports magazines and channels trying to get a word from the athletes, the team went on for at least three weeks without a break; everyone was way too exhausted to bear with another interview. You had to travel around the country for away games every other week and the moment you came back home after the season finale you had to jump back into ‘babysitter duty’ supervising the press conferences, television appearances and exclusive interviews. You tried to relieve the soreness of your neck by rubbing it as you walked to the meeting room where everyone including the team waited for you.

“Please no more interviews, Y/N, we are begging.” Inunaki said as soon as you entered the room. Everyone looked at you with pleading eyes — everyone except Bokuto who was busy stuffing himself with cookies—, you sighed and took your seat next to Imai.

“We are done with your schedule, don’t worry about that.” You said and turned to greet your team, taking the coffee one of your assistants got you and taking a big sip almost forgetting the drink was hot, your face contorted in pain but you tried your best to hide it, you were wide awake now, not from the coffee but from your burnt tongue.

“Let’s make this quick guys, I think we all want to go home.” Hideko got up from her seat and buttoned her coat. “Season’s over, congratulations on your win, the sponsors and everyone’s pockets are extremely happy.” Everyone laughed at her comment as she kept talking. “I think the promotion period was even more exhausting than the matches for you guys, and we are thankful to all of you because surprisingly no one messed things up, so our headlines are clear.” You nodded along her speech while you reviewed your notes. Hideko thanked the staff and also talked about what was about to come with the new year approaching. “We are holding to our usual holiday agenda, the training grounds and the gym are open if you want to train by yourself but I don’t think coach Foster wants to see your faces for at least a month.”

“She’s right, please stay away from me.” Coach Foster said massaging the bridge of his nose and the team smiled, they all knew the man cared deeply for them and their well being. Bokuto, who was sitting beside him, gave him a side hug that made him grasp for whatever surface was in front of him.

“Bokuto, stop tormenting the poor man.” Hideko glared at him. “As you might know, the big night it’s on New Year's eve. Some of the staff is required such as Y/N and her team, me, of course.” She rolled her eyes with her hand on her chest, stating his presence as a given. “And our athletic trainers, so don’t make plans this year. The rest of the staff is invited too but have the option not to go and spend the holiday with their families like normal people.” She sighed, not precisely delighted with the idea of spending new year technically working.

“I can take care of things if any of you want to go home.” You said to your three assistants and they nodded.

“Players are allowed to bring a plus one, blah blah blah, you know the drill. Please, you are grown adults and it’s the time of the year you can drink, don’t do something stupid that can end in more work for us.” She took her coffee cup from the table. “Any questions?” She asked before drinking from it, having the same reaction you had earlier to the hot beverage. “That’s really hot, shit.” She cussed.

“Do we have to wear a suit and tie?” Bokuto asked.

“Yes, Bokuto, it’s a gala.”

“But I don’t know how to tie a tie.” He said, looking at Hideko with sad eyes.

“Wear a bow one.” She answered without enthusiasm. “Y/N take the lead, I have another meeting with scary people with money.” She really meant the sponsors and the team owners, for someone as fierce and imposing to be intimidated by them meant they were business and one she had to tiptoe around to keep them happy, after meeting them at the team party you understood why she avoided them like the plague.

“I just have some things to run with you guys and then we can go home, I’m not taking too long.” You stood up when Hideko left. “No more interviews, your schedule is closed for the rest of the month and I will start booking once we announce the team tryouts on mid January. Like always, I'm not responsible for paparazzi’s but if you get spotted you already know what to do.” Taking a deep breath you continued as you reviewed your notebook. “Regarding the awards, if you win something the interviews are not in my hands, so expect casual interviews the day after. We will be monitoring during the holidays too, so you can call me if something happens.” You looked up to everyone listening to you attentively.

It felt good, being respected felt good. You were more than thankful for the opportunities you had and for taking the position, specially with the Black Jackals, it was a family in every aspect and you felt welcomed since day one and being recognized for all your work the past six months was enough for you to walk with your head up high again proud of your work and your team. “And lastly, I would like to thank all of you for working so well this season and putting up with the hell sent schedule we had the past month. I think we all did a great job.” You offered a bright smile to everyone in the room.

“Are you kidding? You saved our asses this season, Y/N! We should be thanking you.” Inunaki said and everyone agreed.

“That’s true, you did an amazing job since day one.” You looked at Meian who smiled at you fondly.

“Well, it was a team effort, my girls worked really hard too.” You pointed at your three assistants who looked at you with pink cheeks and shiny eyes. “Well, unless any of you have any questions I think that’s it for today.” Everyone gathered their belongings and left the meeting room, you went straight to your office to get your purse and lock the place before heading home.

“Wanna have some lunch with ‘Samu?” You heard Atsumu say.

“That depends, can I pay for my food?”

“Not a chance.” He shook his head. “He invited Kita-san and Suna apparently likes you better than me and asked me to invite you.” He explained and you raised a brow.

“You don’t want me there?” You laid on your desk, hands resting on your sides and legs crosses in front of you, he rolled his eyes and walked closer to you.

“Of course I do, what are you talking about?” His warm hand caressed your cheek and you held to his wrist moving his hand to rest on your shoulder. “So? You coming or not. If you don’t ‘Samu will be mad at me.”

“He’s a big boy, he’ll live.” You joked and he poked your side. “Let me lock the place and we can go.” You grabbed your keys from your desk and locked your office, hoping to not have to come back in a few weeks. Sighing, you turned back to see Atsumu holding his car keys and a smug grin, you walked out the training grounds and to the parking lot where some members of the team had a conversation outside their cars, you waved goodbye and Atsumu opened the front seat door for you.

“Driving her again, Miya?” Barnes asked boarding his own car.

“Such a gentleman, I’m so proud.” Inunaki followed.

“Very funny, Inu-san. But no, we are having lunch with my brother.” You couldn’t really hear what they were saying right after he closed the door, but figured that they were still messing with him by Atsumu’s expression. “God, they are so annoying.” He grumbled when he got in the car.

“Everything okay?” You looked at him in the eye, his brows were furrowed and a few creases showed his frustration and annoyance at his teammates. You ran your thumb across his forehead and smiled. “You are going to get wrinkles before you turn thirty, ‘Tsumu.” His ears turned red at your sudden touch and he tried to hide it by frowning even more.

“Let’s just go.” He could almost swear his heart was about to burst out of his chest. He started the car engine and maneuvered in reverse turning his head back and his hand intentionally placed on the head rest of your seat. “You have plans for the holidays?”

“My family is coming for Christmas and we are visiting some relatives not too far from here; and of course the awards, I might travel to Miyagi to see some friends but I’m not sure yet.” You played with the seatbelt as you recounted your plans. “What about you?”

“‘Samu and I are going to Hyogo to see our parents, we usually visit Kita and his grandma with the rest of the team the day after christmas and then Suna and I are driving to Tokyo for the party.” With his body slightly forward making sure there were no other cars, he took the turn to the avenue where Onigiri Miya was located, his finger drummed on the gear shift to the music from the radio.

“Osamu is not going to the party?” You questioned.

“He gave vacations to all of his employees and has to take care of the shop.” He explained and stopped the car in front of the shop. “I'm starving.” You took your seatbelt off and opened the door at the same time as him, not giving him time to open the door for you like he always did, but he was faster than you and opened the entrance door. It was almost noon so the shop was quite busy, people in the stalls and booths enjoying their food and talking about their days, the constant sound of silverware jingling and the smell of fresh rice welcomed you into the shop as you walked to the counter where Suna’s slouched figure waited. Atsumu greeted him with a pat on his back, making Suna turn around to shake hands and ‘bro hug’ him. “Where 's ‘Samu?

“The kitchen, he should be done by now. Hi, Y/N.” Suna pushed Atsumu to the side and grinned at you lazily.

“Hey Suna, I haven’t seen you since the match in Sendai.” Like Hana, Suna got along with you pretty fast, you caught up with his sarcastic humor and easy going personality, he showed you a lot of photos from his high school memories, he was a great story teller, never missing embarrassing details and adding snarky comments here and there. On said match at Sendai, you finally figured out why he looked so familiar the first time you met him. It turns out he went to the same university as you and you interviewed the middle blocker once for an article when you were a journalist for your school’s newspaper. When you told him he laughed at you saying he already knew but wanted to see how long it would take you to figure it out.

“Well, you’ve been busy.” He looked to the side, his tone was bitter, the taste of defeat lingering on his tongue after losing the finals to the Black Jackals.

“Don’t be a sore loser, Suna.” You said taking the seat by his side, almost missing his jaw clenching. “Losing is normal, you don’t have to feel bad about it.” You teased.

“You are not going to let me live that one down, aren’t you?”

“Absolutely not.” You looked at Atsumu this time, he was looking at his phone screen clearly bored, he was extremely moody when hungry, that’s something you learnt during the season when he would go quiet for hours and back to his usual self once he had something to eat. “You okay?” You asked and he laid his head on your shoulder.

“I’m hungry.” He groaned. You gave him a few pats on the side of his face and felt his body relax to your touch as you continued your chat with Suna.

“Am I interrupting something?” Osamu chimed in coming out of the kitchen, making his brother get up instantly. “Food is almost ready, before you ask.”

“Perfect timing.” You heard a stern voice behind you and all three tensed, you looked behind you to see Kita removing his cap. “I need some help with the rice bags, mind helping me?” Atsumu and Osamu made their way to the door and to Kita’s truck in no time, Kita trailing behind.

“Why do you guys look so scared?” You asked Suna.

“Are you kidding? Kita popped out of nowhere!” Suna whispered, as if Kita could hear him from outside the shop. “He’s really scary sometimes.” You rolled your eyes. Kita was intimidating and really severe, but not enough to make you shiver.

“You only say that because you guys always do something to upset him.”

“That’s not true.” He exclaimed.

“Nothing to hide, nothing to fear, dear.” The restaurant doors opened, showing Atsumu and Osamu fighting to get in first, pushing each other, Suna and you watched unamused, knowing one of them would get hurt sooner or later, you were now used to their sometimes not so playful fighting. Just as you were placing your bet with Suna, they stopped on their tracks and Osamu stepped back to let Atsumu walk in. “What just happened?” You asked yourself rather than Suna, Kita stood behind the twins , Atsumu walked past you and lifted the countertop door, leaving the rice bag on the cold table. You heard Osamu mumble ‘I’m sorry, Kita-san.’ from the door and went straight to the kitchen. You couldn’t believe how easily he made the twins calm down.

“Sorry about that.” Kita apologized to you.

“Don’t worry about it, I’m already used to it.” You said calmly. Kita and Atsumu sat down and Osamu came out of the kitchen with another server, one plate of onigiri on each hand. You thanked him and the server who gave you a water bottle. Atsumu, as impatient as he was, scarfed down the extremely hot onigiri and immediately opened his mouth, steam came out from it and he whined in pain, placing his hand under his chin to prevent food from spilling. Everyone watched him jump on his seat chanting ‘hot, hot, hot’ as he tried to chew the rice ball, you giggled and opened his water bottle for him, when he finally swallowed his food he exhaled in relief and gulped down half of the contents from the plastic bottle.

“Where are your manners, Atsumu? You can’t do that kind of thing in front of the girl you are courting.” Kita reprimanded him and Atsumu choked on his water, little droplets spilling on the counter. Suna and Osamu couldn’t stop laughing at the setter — you were laughing too, but you felt bad for Atsumu— you made sure he wasn’t choking anymore and excused yourself to the bathroom, ears burning from Kita’s comment. “What was that?” Atsumu’s eyes almost popped out of his face.

“What?” Kita asked, unbothered.

“The girl you are courting? Really?” Atsumu stressed running his hands through his hair.

“Well, aren’t you?” Kita inquired.

“Yes! But it sounds weird when you say it like that.” Embarrassed, Atsumu rested his head on the counter looking at Suna’s direction, Osamu wiped the wet surface and yanked Atsumu’s hair lightly to make him sit correctly as you joined them again, asking him if he felt better, he nodded and moved closer to you. As always, Osamu’s food was amazing and you had fun messing with Suna and Osamu, so much that you didn’t noticed the moment they all started planning the next reunion at your place, claiming that it was your initiation as the newest addition to the group, but you knew they just were nosy, even Kita was curious to know where you lived, so you couldn’t say no.

You waited outside the restaurant with Kita who insisted on keeping you company while Atsumu and Suna helped Osamu with something in the back. “How are things going between you two?” He asked, completely aware of how vague the question was, just wanting to test the waters. You gulped and met his eyes.

“Atsumu and I? Uh, fine, I guess.” You answered uncertainly, tilting your head.

“He’s taking too long.” He asserted with his arms crossed.

“I guess you are right, but I don’t want to rush anything or make him feel like he has to do something when I could easily take the first step, but I’m afraid he’s not sure yet.” You rambled in your place, Kita grinned and looked away. “You meant inside the shop, right?” His grin widened at your question and you huffed in frustration. “That was not funny.”

“I didn’t do anything, but now that you got that out of your system, I think that’s a conversation you should have with Atsumu. It’s almost painful seeing you two being limited by a simple title when you can fix that rather easily, I don’t know what’s stopping you.” He pondered.

‘A lot of things.’ You thought. You fixed your eyes on the glass door, you could see Atsumu coming out of the kitchen along with his brother, he looked upset, dragging his feet with every step like a kicked puppy. “Think about it.” That was Kita’s final remark before Atsumu walked out the door, you waved goodbye to Osamu and Kita and walked to Atsumu’s car, feeling a familiar numbness on your limbs and the stinging sensation on your head increased with every passing minute.

Kita’s words were crude, but you were sure he meant no harm, but even so, the last thing you wanted to do was thinking about the stage of your pseudo-relationship with Atsumu, the reality check tied to it was terrifying. You didn’t want to ruin everything, afraid of not being what he wanted but what he settled for, —or even worse, a distraction— you tried to shrug it all away, but it was hard to believe after all you went through. The thought of not being enough was enough to make you shiver, muscle memory taking you back to the time where you lost yourself to the viciousness of your own brain and it’s deprecating self speech of unworthiness and pity.

You were stronger now, yes, but at what cost? You now lacked trust and silently craved reassurance or a sign that you were doing things right for yourself this time.

Staring at the road lost in your thought you couldn’t hear Atsumu calling your name, you felt a big hand on your knee, moving it slightly to get your attention. “Are you okay?” He was clearly worried, luckily the traffic light turned red, you turned your head and stared at him confused. “You are a bit out of it since we left the restaurant.”

“Sorry, I was just thinking. You said something?”

“I was saying that my building’s management called and said the complex is out of power and that it would take a few hours to fix the problem, and I asked you if I could stay with you for a few hours.” He repeated himself.

“Sure, it’s still really early, we can watch a movie if you want to.” You offered trying to ease the tension. “Anything but Fast and Furious.”

“Come on! They are amazing.” He protested. The light turned green and he moved the car.

“We watch them every time you are at my place.” You complained. “Let’s watch something else, it’s getting old.” Atsumu gasped, offended by your comment.

“Terminator then.” He laughed at your annoyed expression and kept driving ‘til you reached your building’s parking lot. You changed your clothes while Atsumu picked the movie. He was really worried about you, what happened at the restaurant? He texted Kita asking if you said something or looked uncomfortable while he was being lectured by Osamu and Suna. ‘You need to talk.’ was Kita’s reply, sighing he left his phone on the coffee table and waited for you to come out of your room.

‘I don’t know what game you are playing here, but don’t waste that girl’s time.’

Osamu’s words replayed in his head. Was he really taking too long? He knew the answer to that question, but uncertainty always fogged his thinking, and a thousand other questions creeped inside, making it harder for him to tell you how much he needed you. How much would things change if the unspoken pact you two created turned into a real talk, would you stay?

He was not afraid of commitment, he was afraid that he never committed to anything that wasn’t volleyball, he didn’t know how to be a boyfriend but he knew he wanted to be yours. You never treated him differently and cared enough to see past the bad reputation he had, you cared about him. He got used to your nature but oftentimes forgot about how important stability can be, you weren’t teenagers anymore and sooner or later you would get tired. He had all the intentions, but just like you, the fear of not being enough held him back.

You were scared of being replaced and he was scared to hurt you.

“What are we watching?” You sat by his side and crossed your legs. You were now wearing a hoodie with the team logo and signature claw scratches, sweatpants and your hair was tied in a high ponytail.

“I couldn’t pick one, so you choose.” He passed you the remote and laid back on the couch. You ended up watching Bride Wars, the two of you had terrible taste in movies so you alway went for the safe options, and you always ended up chatting halfway through and not paying attention to the film.

“She deserves better than Fletcher anyway.” Atsumu played with your hair as the movie credits appeared on the screen, your back was on his chest raising slightly with his steady breathing.

“She really did, she settled because she felt pressured.” You held his hand and interlocked his fingers with yours.

“What do you mean?” He looked down at your hands now connected and smiled to himself.

“When you spend that many years with someone you think the only reasonable thing is to stay forever with them, and sometimes that’s not what you want, but that realization comes really late, look at her, she was about to get married when she came to her senses, she was getting married because it was what everyone expected her to do, she had to convince herself she wanted it, that she wanted him.” You explained. “He made things hard for her, and still she tried to make it work for both of them, it wasn’t fair for her.” Atsumu hummed in agreement and noticed how your tone decreased with every word. You went silent for a while lost in your thoughts again.

“You’ve been acting weird since we left the restaurant. What 's going on?” He asked, shifting in his place trying to get a better look of your face, your eyes were glossy and your brows slightly furrowed.

“I don’t know.” You sighed heavily. “I’m scared.” You played with the strings of your hoodie. “I don’t want to feel like someone just settled for me again.” You continued, fighting the memories from last year when you felt his arms tightening around you. “I don’t want to go through that again, I got so used to giving more than I could, to trying to do my best and beyond and still that wasn’t enough, I wasn’t enough.” You weren’t crying, there was nothing to cry about in the first place, you were just tired of battling your inner thoughts, you wanted a break.

“Don’t say that, your ex was an idiot for letting you go. Y/N, you are the most caring and dedicated person I’ve ever met, if anything, you were the one who settled for someone who couldn’t give his everything for you.” He felt the vibrations of your body as you chuckled.

“Yeah, my friends always tell me that.” He kissed your temple gently.

“See? He was just a scrub.” ‘And I would treat you so much better.’

“Sorry I got too emotional.” You looked up and he placed another kiss on your forehead.

“Don’t apologize for having feelings, it’s normal.” You raised an eyebrow and tried to break free from his embrace to rest your chin on his chest. “What?” He asked.

“I never expected you to say something like that, you are very wary of showing your feelings.” You pointed out, running a hand through his blonde hair and he poked your side making you laugh, it was your turn to peck his chin. You enjoyed the comfortable silence that set between you two, propping your head on his chest close enough to hear his heart beating, eyes closed in bliss. You were safe.

“I’m sorry for being too slow.” He said. “I think it’s obvious I like you, and while I enjoy what we have now, you deserve clarity and I need to get this out of my chest.” He made you sit correctly, you lightly stretched your limbs as you got up. Atsumu took your hand and played with your fingers trying to word his thoughts. “I’m scared too. I’ve never been in a relationship and I didn’t know how to talk to you about this, I thought maybe you weren’t looking for something serious, especially with me, you know? But I like to think we are on the same page now.” You nodded and he continued. “Give me a few days, let me make it special for you to see I’m serious about this, and that I want to treat you better, please.” His eyes finally met yours.

“Take all the time you need, ‘Tsumu, I think I need some time too and I don’t want you to feel pressured to do anything.”

“You are not, stop saying that. I want this.” He grumbled frustrated.

“Me too.” You kissed the back of his hand and he hugged you again. You watched another silly rom-com and talked about the party a little more before Atsumu received a call from his building’s management to notify him that the power was restored, it was around 7 p.m. so he got ready to leave, with his keys in one hand and his phone in his pocket he walked to the door with you following behind. “I’ll see you at the party then.”

“That’s a lot of time.” He complained.

“Stop whining, it’s just two weeks.” You scrunched your nose when he bent down to kiss it.

“I’ll call you everyday if I can’t see you.” He smirked.

“Please do.” You rolled your eyes. He puckered his lips, waiting for his mandatory goodbye kiss but you took the chance to pinch his lips with your fingers making him instantly step back. “Good night, ‘Tsumu.” You said before he could say anything and closed your door. A muffled ‘That’s not fair.’ could be heard from the other side, Atsumu stared at your door, he tensed his jaw and shook his head for a second. He couldn’t hide the lovesick grin adorning his face as he walked to his car.

He had two very long weeks ahead.

(a/n: uh hELLO, this chapter ruined all my planning but i think those two are really cute, now QUICK QUESTION, would you like to see what iwaizumi aka mr. cheater is up to??? maybe?? no??? you guys tell me! i have the wip but idk if y’all would like to see it, i’ll be reading y’all. anyways, remember the fic has a playlist and y’all can check it out, also if you have song recs to add i would love to hear them!! i hope everyone is healthy and doing great at school or work :)) please stay safe and wear your masks!!)

masterlist

TAGLIST (closed): @aonenthusiast @wiseeggspickleslime @koushisun @airheadpillar @sunflwrsandprettyskies @bbkiyoomi @daphnxy @shephard17895 @avatarkyoshithewarrior @for-rebloggery @vv-bee999-vv vv @fi16ns @asdfghjkl7things @glassykaashi @strawhatshepard @hawkssnugget @msby-kei @toobsessedsstuff @a-moon-fairy @cuteissei @ramblingsofagoofyperson @pinoyrella @kiyoomisimp

#Miya Atsumu #atsumu x you #atsumu x reader #atsumu scenarios #msby atsumu #iwaizumi x reader #Iwaizumi Hajime #hq iwaizumi #iwaizumi angst #iwaizumi x you #hq angst #msby black jackal #msby bj #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!!

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the-himawari · 4 years ago

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A3! Sumeragi Tenma - Translation [SR] Spotlight (2/2)

*Please read disclaimer on blog; default name set as Izumi

---

Kazunari: Lookie, Tenten’s drama’s starting!

Kumon: We were dying to know about the continuation from last week, right~! I’m so excited~!

Kazunari: Ah, it started!

Muku: Wahh, that profile shot just now… Tenma-kun looked so cool.

Tenma: Obviously.

Yuki: How? That was thanks to the music and lighting. It’s just the production that’s helping him.

Tenma: Oi!

Misumi: AH! The windows of that house are pretty triangles~!

Muku: His line just now was dashing too!

Yuki: Really? It was a little rough though.

Tenma: That’s a lot of complaints!

Kazunari: Ahaha, that’s what you call a “gap”, right!

Kumon: It’s so much more refreshing than the regular Tenma-san!

Tenma: Is that a compliment…?

-pause-

Misumi: Tah daaah! I got lots of paper from the Manager~!

Muku: Then that means…!

Kazunari: ‘Course, we gotta do that, right!

Misumi: A paper airplane contest~!

Tenma: Again?

Kazunari: You say that, but you had lots of fun, didn’t you, Tenten?

Muku: Let's race to see how far they’ll fly!

Tenma: …As long as I’m doing it, I’m not gonna lose!

-pause-

Kazunari: Where should we go for our holiday this time~?

Muku: There are lots of different places mentioned in the travel magazine I bought earlier!

Yuki: How about here?

Muku: That sounds great! I had my eye on that location too.

Misumi: Wahh! It’s a huge triangle!

Kumon: You mean this greenhouse?

Muku: A triangle-shaped greenhouse seems interesting!

Misumi: It looks like you can go inside the triangle~!

Kazunari: You’re free to chill next week, right, Tenten?

Tenma: I’m free, but… why?

Kumon: We were all talking about going out together on Tenma-san’s day off.

Tenma: I haven’t said I’ll go yet…

Yuki: Alright, then you don’t have to come.

Tenma: I haven’t said I couldn’t go either!

Izumi: (Fufu, I was able to record lots of scenes of Summer troupe as they always are.) (I hope this serves as a nice hint for Tenma-kun.)

-pause-

Kasumi: Thank you for coming while you’re so busy with work, Tenma-kun.

Tenma: Not at all, same here. It’s going to be a great experience, so I appreciate it.

Kasumi: Wow, how dependable~. Well then, it’s a bit quick, but let's get started with the interview.

-pause-

Kasumi: You’ve said in the past you wanted to win awards both for stage and film. And you have been actively appearing in both these days.

Tenma: I asked the office and staff around me to adjust my schedule so I could do both without any issues.

Kasumi: Because you’ve co-starred with Hyuga Hiro in the past, your appearances together in other works have increased, right?

Tenma: Yeah. Thanks to that, I think the tempo of my acting with Hiro-san has become better than before.

Kasumi: For the plays at MANKAI Company, Summer troupe also has an interesting tempo and it can’t help but make you laugh.

Tenma: I’m satisfied as an actor if you say so.

Kasumi: I think acting on stage is different than the way you act in dramas and movies. So what kind of communication do you have with your teammates when you’re on stage?

Tenma: Let me see… When I’m on stage, I’m not really worried about the communication with my teammates.

Kasumi: Eh? Is that so?

Tenma: The guys in Summer troupe, especially, are teammates who have always stood on stage together. And we’re also friends who have always been together. So that’s why, when it comes to communication, it’s like we’re just exchanging banter between friends like usual. If I’m with those guys, we can act in sync even without any special preparations in advance. …That’s how I feel.

Kasumi: I see. All of you are close, so you can create natural, well-paced exchanges in your plays as well.

Tenma: Right.

-pause-

Kasumi: Thank you for today. I got a great interview.

Tenma: Oh, really? I’m glad.

Kasumi: I thought this when I was interviewing Misumi-kun before, but Summer troupe really does get along well, huh?

Tenma: Well, I won’t deny that. I believe this relationship we share will last forever even if, one day, we can't perform together... and the time comes when we separate.

Kasumi: …Yes. That’s right.

Tenma: And, as long as this relationship lives on, I’m sure we’ll be able to come together and act together once again.

Kasumi: Yes, there’s no doubt about it. Because all of us were able to gather and perform together again too. Tenma-kun, cherish the days you spend together with your friends. And do your best in acting from now on as well. I’ll be promoting you guys with all my might too.

Tenma: Yeah.

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previous |

#a3!#a3! translation #sumeragi tenma #act! addict! actors!#anna crying hours pt. 2

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theydontknowaboutusimagines · 4 years ago

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Valentine’s Day Surprise - Harry Styles Mini Series (Part 1)

*Companion to This Christmas

You sat in front of your computer bundled up in your favorite hoodie and blanket combination. You made yourself some hot chocolate that you sipped on as you went over the changes you needed to make in your book. Your latest draft was back from your beta readers and now it was time to write yet another draft.

It was in the dead of winter in London and it was currently snowing outside of your window. You would be much warmer if you were sitting away from the window, but you had to have a window view when you were writing. Plus, the snow was so pretty. You would always be a lot warmer if you weren’t lonely in the house, knowing your boyfriend was thousands of miles away in sunny California.

Yep, that’s right, you and Harry were still together. Not that you doubted you would be, but it still felt weird to say. You weren’t living together yet, you still had your flat, while he had his massive home. But you did spend a lot of your time at his house or vice versa. Except the last few weeks since he’s been gone for work.

You missed him, a lot, and it’s really been the first time you two have been away from the other since you got back into each other’s lives last Christmas. But he had a movie to shoot, along with various other things he had to do and you had a book to work on.

Speaking of said book, you had spent nearly the entire day typing away and making the changes that were suggested. Even though the book was still not the best yet, it was without a doubt going to be your favorite book you’ve written thus far. And that had everything to do with the meaning behind it.

It was about two friends falling in love during the holiday season, which is exactly what happened with you and Harry. Granted, you two were already in love, but it took some reconnection to finally get you two to express your feelings to the other. You knew when the book would be released and you were being interviewed about it, someone would ask you where you got the idea or inspiration for it and you would have to tell them.

You wouldn’t tell them details or anything, not that anyone even knew you and Harry were together. Not really anyway. The two of you hadn’t really been spotted out together and even if you have, everyone knows your history of being friends, so the whole dating rumors haven’t really been sparked quite yet.

You were fine with that for the time being. You knew how things got, at least from an outside view, whenever he was dating someone, so the longer you could avoid that the better. But you knew one day, it would come out and hopefully knowing the history you have with Harry will make it not as bad.

Your neck was starting to hurt and your head was throbbing from looking at the screen all day. So, you decided to call it day and resume again tomorrow. You were halfway through with the revisions, which wasn’t normal for you, knowing you had just finished a draft not too long ago. But that’s what happens when you’re really passionate and don’t have distractions around.

You shut your computer and headed over to the couch in the living area, plopping down right onto the cushions. You stretched out and closed your eyes for a bit, trying to give them a rest. In that moment, you wished Harry was there because you needed a serious massage of your neck and shoulders.

After laying there for a few moments, you slowly started to drift off asleep, when your phone rang. You groaned, debating on letting it go to voicemail or answering it. However, when you glanced over and saw Harry’s photo, you decided on the latter.

You clicked on the green button and soon Harry’s face was looking back at you.

“Hey, baby,” he smiled.

“Hi,” you yawned, sitting up at a better angle.

“Were you sleeping? Is this a bad time?” He asked, eyebrows furrowing.

“No, I was just resting my eyes,” you said. “Too much screen time today.”

“Remember, you’re supposed to look 20 feet away every twenty minutes for twenty seconds,” he said.

You rolled your eyes, “I don’t have time for that.”

“You do,” he laughed. “Just set a timer on your phone or something.”

“Easier said than done,” you said. “You know if I’m in the zone, it’s hard to stop until I’m at a stopping point.”

“Well, then don’t complain if you’re not going to do it,” he smirked.

You rolled your eyes again, “I wouldn’t have to worry about it, if I had someone here to rub my shoulders.”

“You better be talking about me and not just any someone,” he raised an eyebrow.

“Of course, I don’t want random people touching me,” you shuddered.

He laughed.

“But seriously, how much longer till your back?” You asked.

He sighed, running his hand through his hair, “A few more weeks, at the least... another month or so, at the most.”

“I thought you were almost finished,” you said.

“We are, but then there’s some reshoots and some stuff we’re doing for promo,” he said. “Plus, I’ve got some meetings out here for the next album.”

“So, then I guess this means we won’t be together for Valentine’s Day,” you whispered.

“Not in person, no,” he sighed. “I’m sorry, love.”

“No, it’s fine,” you sighed. “I mean... it’s not that big of a deal. Its not really genuine holiday and I’ve never really cared about celebrating it before... but like I don’t know, I just thought maybe it would be fun. Plus, I miss you.”

“I miss you, too,” he said. “I promise we’ll figure it out, okay? We can facetime or zoom. Watch some romcoms and eat chocolates.... maybe have some fun on camera,” he smirked.

“You wish,” you scoffed. “I don’t trust technology that much. I don’t need someone hacking in and starting an Only Fans with my pictures!”

“Have you been watching Catfish again?” He asked.

“Yes, but I’m using it for research for another novel idea I have,” you defended.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” he joked.

“Anyway,” you said. “I guess us having a little virtual date wouldn’t be a horrible option. It would be better than not doing anything at all.”

“Then it’s settled,” he smiled. “We’ll come up with something fun to do and pick a time that works with the time zones and it’ll be as perfect as it can be, okay?”

“Okay,” you nodded.

“Great, I just wanted to check in and tell you I love and miss you,” he said. “So, I’ll let you get back to resting your eyes and watching Catfish.”

“Ha, ha,” you said. “But I love and miss you, too.”

“Good,” he smiled. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Okay, see you later,” you smiled, blowing him a kiss before hanging up the phone.

You sighed, placing the phone down as the realization of Harry not being coming home for another few weeks hit you. You knew this would happened. It’s what has happened throughout your entire friendship, but you thought you had grown and it wouldn’t hurt as much.

But you were wrong. It did hurt knowing you two wouldn’t be together for Valentine’s Day. Even though you never cared about the holiday before, this year felt different. You wanted it to be this amazing and special day spent with the man you loved. The man you had waited years to finally be with, but now it was going to happen through a screen and him miles away.

Harry felt bad the second he ended the FaceTime call with you. Even though you had put on a smile, he knew you well enough that you were disappointed. Him not being around was part of the reason why your friendship ended the first go around and he made it his mission to never let your relationship end because of that.

He loved you. You are his person and he just got you back into his life. He didn’t want the possibility of you leaving it to ever cross your mind. He had to come up with something to make sure he was there with you. Valentine’s Day was in a little over a week, surely that would give him enough time to figure out a plan.

“Harold, hello,” a voice called out from behind him.

“Oh, what?” He asked turning around to see his manager waving his hands around.

“What’s got you out of it?” Jeff asked.

“I uh... I just finished talking with Y/N,” he sighed. “I told her I wasn’t sure when I’ll be back... and she mentioned missing out on Valentine’s Day...”

“Well, I mean it is just Valentine’s Day,” he pointed out. “Many people don’t do anything on the actual day anymore anyway.”

“That’s easy for you to say,” Harry shook his head. “You’ve been in a relationship for years. This is our first one and Y/N... she’s not normally someone who falls into the whole Valentine’s Day thing... but I could tell she ws looking forward to doing something.”

“Why can’t she just come here, then?” Jeff suggested. “Her schedule is a little easier to move around right now.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Harry asked.

“I didn’t mean it to come out like it sounded,” he said. “I just meant that what you’re working on has to be done here in LA... she’s working on something that she just needs wifi and a laptop... that can be done anywhere.”

“Yeah, but I’m the one gone... I shouldn’t have to make her uproot her work,” Harry said.

“Look, do what you want to do, but I’m telling you there’s hardly anytime to travel to London and back with your schedule the way it is,” he said.

“Gee, you’re a wonderful help,” Harry rolled his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Jeff responded, holding his up.

“I told her I’m going to figure something out and I will,” he said. “If I have to move or postpone things around, I will. Y/N’s important to me and being with her will always be my priority over a meeting that can be an email or postponed to a later date.”

“I get that, Harry,” he said. “But you can’t always be the one who does that or else you’re going to end up being resentful.”

“You know, I thought you were happy Y/N and I were together, but now it seems a lot like you wish I was single,” Harry snapped.

“I didn’t say that,” Jeff said. “I just know how you are, H. At the beginning of a relationship, you’re doing everything to make it work, and eventually you get tried of it and things go south. I know how much you love, Y/N and I don’t want to see it end because I don’t know if you could come back from that.”

“I’m so confused right now,” Harry said. “You don’t want me to change my schedule around to go see my girlfriend because you’re afraid I’ll be doing too much and eventually I’ll break it off?”

“Just think about it,” Jeff said. “If you do this for Valentine’s Day, then what if she expects it any other time. Will she ever be the person who changes her schedule around for you, or will it always be you because you have the most on your plate.”

“Y/N isn’t like that,” he said. “She’s not even asking me to do this.”

“No yet, at least,” he said. “But once she realizes that you can...”

“No, I done listening to this,” Harry said. “You know one day, I’m going to get married, right? And I’m going to have kids, right? So eventually, yeah, I’m going to have to change my scheduled or not do things because I need to be with my family.”

“Exactly, so why waste opportunities now?” Jeff asked.

“Because opportunities will always be there to take, Y/N may not be,” Harry said before grabbing his things and walking out the door.

Sooo... what do you think? It’s been a while since I’ve felt like writing... so hopefully it isn’t too bad.

#Harry Styles Imagines #Harry Styles Fanfiction #Harry Styles Fan fic

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andyuris · 4 years ago

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So , your character works in retail .

I don’t know how many people go into detail when talking about what their character does for a living but I got this random idea to make a bit of a tips list when it comes to working retail especially if you’ve never worked retail before . This is coming from my own experience working retail for the last , I don’t know , 3+ years or so . If you find this helpful at all , give this post a like or a reblog .

The idea that someone is going to be fresh out of high school , come onto the scene at retail , and become manager is rare . The youngest I’ve seen a manager ( which the word can mean a lot of things : merchandising manager , key holder , etc ) is 22 . So just , you know , be realistic .

Age ranges vary . When I worked at Five Below , I worked with my GM ( general manager ) who was in his 40′s , the managers who came and went varied by age generally between young 20′s to mid 30′s , and the rest of us ? I would say most of us were in late teens / early 20′s . However , there were also a few teens that worked there and by teens , I mean minors . And no offense to minors , but working with minors is annoying as hell ESPECIALLY when it comes to scheduling . Minors can only work certain times and when it’s busy season ( holiday season ) , they get to peace the fuck out while you’re left breaking your back until one in the morning . You can use this for comments your character has about their job considering playing minors is weird so don’t do that .

Full time probably isn’t gonna be a thing , maybe . It depends on your job description , the place of employment , etc ( note : you might be able to get away with this more when it comes to convenience stores and grocery stores . A lot of them look for full time associates / produce associates ). MOST retail workers are part time meaning they get less than 40 hours a week and again , depending on the factors above , you’re probably looking at 20 or less hours a week give or take . Hours increase during the busy season ( generally around the holidays ) . But again , full time and part time depends . You can also be a part time manager where you’re getting probably 35 hours . You also get double your pay if you’re working a holiday ( Thanksgiving , Christmas Eve , etc ) . Some of your stock & produce associates are most likely going to be full time and I’m saying some .

THE PAY GENERALLY SUCKS . Granted , I’ve been lucky and some characters can be lucky too . Each job I’ve had in retail has paid above the minimum wage and I believe that varies from state to state . Five Below sucked the most until I became a manager . The non-profit I worked for was a little better. At my current position , I’m making the same amount i made as a manager at Five Below although less hours . You’re doing a lot of work for basically dust which is where a lot of retail worker frustration comes in .

We LOVE some customers but hate others . I have a few frequent costumers that I adore when they come in . These are the people I generally have conversations with . Others ? I don’t like them . None of us like them . We talk shit about them when they leave because they’re generally big assholes . I put on my costumer service voice for them and I get them through my line as quickly as possible .

Some managers are great , others aren’t . I do feel like when it comes to rp it’s a lot easier to say your character hates their boss and that probably brings more to conversation but not all of them are bad ! I’ve enjoyed most of my managers , or at least my General Managers .

Okay so , I don’t know if this is against customer policy , but sometimes , you get to take shit home from work . WHAT DO I MEAN BY THIS ? At a job I worked at , as a manager , we would do damages . Damages is basically shit that got broken in the store and we have to adjust that shit out . You know what sucks ? Having an item that has some minor ass flaw and having to throw it in the garbage . So yeah , we would sometimes take that stuff home although it was usually make up .Some of it was candy and shit . I remember a case got stepped on and my manager was like ‘ take it out and take it home if you want to ‘ . So yeah. Make your character’s make up collection work related ! They got that shit for free .

Holiday season is crazy . It’s long hours , a lot of people , and a lot less time being at home chilling . Your character might hate their lives during this part of the year . I know I did .

We talk a lot of shit . I think this can happen really with any job . Retail workers vent . We vent to each other . We vent to other retail workers who don’t even work at the same store as us because we all generally understand what we go through when it comes to our jobs . Is there another character in the rp working in retail ? TALK SOME SHIT .

Last but not least , as sad as it is to say , in retail , you are , without a doubt , replaceable . A lot of people working in retail think because they do so much that somehow the store is going to burn to the ground without them or that they will never get fired because who can stock the way that they do??? Let me tell you : A LOT OF PEOPLE . They’ll be interviewing someone for your position before you even make it out the door . So , yeah , want to spice things up for your character ? Are they the kind of people that think they’re entitled ? Then this may be a route to take at some point .

#rpt

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assassins-and-hidden-blades · 5 years ago

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The Predator and the Prey -- Part 2

A/N: (Early) Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays, everyone! Got a bit sucked into this to get back into the mood to write requests, and after this I feel a lot more inspired and out of the writing slump I’ve been suffering from for the past who-knows-how-many months. Hope you guys enjoy this as an early Christmas present, haha.

Feedback is always greatly appreciated; I’d love to know what you think!

Taglist: @marshmallow--3 (shoot an ask if you wanna be tagged!)

Part 1 HERE (With general synopsis)

Previously:

“There’s been another robbery.” You flashed the envelope his way. “You might have one too.”

“Let’s go and get it.”

-----------------------------------

You arrived with Jacob back at his rented flat, and he parked next to Evie’s dark blue beetle. Jacob scrunched his nose up in disgust. “Ugh, Evie’s taste in cars is something ’ll never understand.”

“At least it’s not pink, and it hasn’t got eyelashes on it.”

“Don’t even joke about that.”

Jacob was the first one through the door. “Evie! We’re here!” he called up the stairs. He dropped his keys in the dish on the side and made his way to his bedroom. It was simple, but was still cosy and had more than enough room. He had a double bed -- not made-- and one of his walls was a soft shade of tangerine patterned with white birds in flight; they had a major resemblance to the one tattooed on his chest. He went to open his drawer, shielding its contents from you.

“Don’t worry; I won’t ask about what you’re hiding from me.”

All you got in response was an amused scoff.

As Jacob found the document, Evie came up behind you, drying her hair with a towel. “You both going into work, then?” she asked.

“I think we’re going to have to; we didn’t last night when the first one was reported. They’ll need more people to do the legwork.”

“Even though you were both stuck to your laptop screens filing reports the night before?”

“Especially because we were both stuck to our laptop screens the night before.”

“If you need anything, either of you, just give me a call.” She moved out of the room.

“Thanks, Evie.”

The door closed softly a few moments after.

You sat down on the bed that was littered with one or two shirts, sliding your finger under the lip of the envelope in your hands. Inside was a typewritten letter that was signed by Henry Green -- your Detective Chief Inspector and Evie’s partner. You opened it and began to read:

Inspector Y/N Y/L/N,

At 0234 hours on Sunday morning, we received reports of theft that had taken place. At first, it was written off as an unrelated event, but is now being filed as yet another heist linked with previous frauds that had stolen similar artefacts.

This is an urgent message. You and Inspector Jacob Frye are required to come to Scotland Yard ASAP, in order to converse our course of action.

As you know, there have already been seven artefacts that have already been looted from various locations; this makes it the eighth. We are only aware of these international crimes because of one reason.

When you arrive, ask for an urgent meeting with me. We’ll discuss it then.

Signed,

HenryGreen

Detective Chief Inspector (DIC), Henry Green

P.S -- You both are the best I have. I need you to head this operation with me. I don’t trust anyone else.

You checked the entirety of the letter to double check that you had read it thoroughly. Looking back at Jacob, you saw him writing notes in a notepad. “Do we need to change?”

He clicked his pen and stood up. “I wouldn’t bother. It’s a Sunday, after all.”

You smirked, agreeing with him. “We should probably go.” Picking up your essentials, you followed him down the stairs.

“Don’t wait up for us, Evie. We’ll probably be a while!”

“Noted!”

You both went back to Jacob’s car and set a new course for New Scotland Yard.

------

You entered your workplace with your rucksack over your shoulder, while Jacob parked his car outside. The receptionist looked up at the sound of the doors opening and greeted you with a plastered smile.

“Hi, Caroline. Inspector Frye and I have an urgent meeting with--”

“Chief Inspector Green? Of course, I’ll let him know. Take a seat over there for a minute, will you?”

You nodded with a smile, and somewhat reluctantly sat on the chairs beside the desk. Jacob came in moments after, pocketing his keys in his back pocket. He seemed somewhat surprised to see you waiting.

“You waiting for me?” He winked coyly, a corner of his lips upturning.

“Caroline’s on the phone to let Henry--”

“You two need to go to the meeting room on the third floor urgently.” Caroline had put the phone down without a care in the world, ready for her weekend shift to be over.

“Thanks, Caroline. Hope you can get home soon.” You and Jacob headed to the elevator.

“Didn’t mention that we’re not here for fun?” He decided to ask as the doors shut and elevator music began to hum in the background.

“I said it was urgent! She just seemed to want to be in charge.” You shrugged.

Jacob scoffed in amusement. “Uh-huh.”

The elevator came to a stop on the floor you needed quickly enough. The meeting room was at the end of the open plan floor full of scattered wooden desks, of which about a third were littered with papers and files of all kinds. Walking through the paperwork minefield, almost everyone greeted you both, ranging from surprised waves to casual nods; all of which you responded to identically.

Jacob reached the meeting room first, knocking twice and waiting for an affirmation before opening the door, which was labelled ‘Do Not Disturb’. Henry was sat there in a semi-casual outfit consisting of smart jeans and a white shirt, no doubt displeased at having to be brought in on a Sunday. He sat at the end of a long glass table, surrounded by loose paperwork and random documents that stretched almost out of his reach. A laptop was open and charging beside him. He looked up when the door closed and put his pen down. “Glad you could make it,” he began, reclining into the leather behind him.

“We wouldn’t miss this for the world,” Jacob remarked sarcastically, slumping casually into the nearest chair.

“Shut the blinds.”

You looked out onto the rest of the floor and quickly shielded the room from view, much to the curiosity of people loitering around. After, you followed Jacob’s actions, with an extra kilogram of dignity. “What’s up, Henry?” You pulled out an average-sized notepad and a small pencil case, whereas Jacob pulled out a pocket notebook and a clicking pen from his pockets, resting his forearms on the table.

“This morning, at about half past two, something was stolen from the British Museum.” Henry took the charger out of his laptop and turned it around, showing the artefact. He stood up briefly to turn the light down. It was a folded gold fabric that had white patterns inscribed upon it. “This was labelled in the exhibit as the ‘Shroud of Eden’. That obviously has many connotations that make it quite precious, especially to the public. This piece is not at all common-- in fact, it’s the only one of its kind-- so it can have an extremely high street value.”

Your eyes drifted to movement in front of you. Jacob had lifted his legs up to rest his feet on the desk. His notebook was practically empty compared to yours, bar a few scribbled words. “How much is it worth?”

“Too much; possibly up to seventeen million-- most likely more.” Jacob wrote the figure down. “Continue.”

“The bottom line is that we need to retrieve this artefact. This was scheduled to be properly studied by the end of the week. Now that can’t happen and we have no idea what this thing does.”

“Who found it?” Jacob piped up again.

“A Lucy Thorne-- British curator, quite young, though.” Henry held up a picture of her. “It raised a few initial suspicions, but the head curator let it pass. Might be a good time to follow it up.”

Jacob wrote down another few words.

“How does any of this link internationally?” You asked your first question of the meeting, already two thirds of the way down the page.

“This is why.” Henry pressed on with the slideshow, showing images of the other artefacts that were stolen across the world. They all held a similar resemblance of colour and patterns. “These all originate from the same place. Whoever stole these items know something we don’t. This is why it’s urgent. We have no idea what these things are capable of, what they do, and what that means for everyone else on this godforsaken Earth.

“This isn’t just a matter of national security; it’s a matter of international safety.” Henry finished with a deep exhale through his nostrils, slowly moving to turn the lights on again.

“Our primary objective is to retrieve all eight artefacts. Our secondary objective is to put the people found guilty behind bars. If that’s too dangerous for you both, abort. Get the artefacts back to MI5 first, but if not, bring them back here. That is of paramount importance.”

“I have a plan.” Jacob put his feet down and leaned forward, arms back on the table. “We find this Lucy Thorne, and we interview her; take a statement, ask her a few questions-- find out what this thing does. We ask if she’s headed any investigations prior to working at the British Museum. We ask for the names of her superiors in her previous places of employment, maybe even search the place to find what else she might be hiding.” He gestured his point discreetly.

“We can’t do that without a warrant,” you remarked.

“But we know someone who can give us one…” Jacob looked to Henry.

“I trust you both; I’ll give you whatever you need, but there’s no time to waste. We have to do something now.”

You nodded. “I agree with Jacob.”

The corner of Jacob’s lips upturned. “Great. Let’s do--”

Before you both could stand up, there was a knock at the door. It opened almost immediately to unveil a very old rivalry. He stood tall, with his hair tied back with a red ribbon, dressed as if it was a weekday at the office.

“Good to see people working, even on a Sunday.” He adjusted his cuffs. “Mr Frye, Y/N.”

“Shay.”

#TPATP #the predator and the prey #Assassin's Creed #Modern!AU #detective!au #assassin's creed x reader #x reader #Jacob Frye #assassin's creed imagine #assassin's creed oneshot #jacob frye x reader #jacob frye imagine

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bunnymcbunnister · 5 years ago

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SPN Season 15 Spoiler Sheet, update 9/23

So we got the latest batch of episode titles, ep 1 synopsis, confirmation of Misha in 15x06, and a director for 15x07. Set reports are DRY.... I wonder if the last season has stepped up the secrecy. Here is to hoping there will be a “Shaving People, Punting Things” preview this week- usually they come out on Fridays. Here you go:

General Info (oldest to newest)

There is likely to be 20 episodes

They are filming the 4th episode 1st, which Jensen is directing

Returning this year are: Rowena, Ketch, Eileen,Amara, Adam, and Kevin

Jared and Jensen know the ending. Jensen struggled with it at first. Misha does not know the ending as of SDCC

Matt Cohen and Richard Speight Jr. will direct

Sam, Dean, and Cas will struggle with the concept of free will and if they ever really had it

The focus will be more on Hell than Heaven

There is hope to wrap up some Wayward Daughters storylines in the back half of the season

They are adding a whole extra day to filming to do the final scene (Implies logistics- lots of returning people?)

Brad Bucker used the word “romance” when asked about Sam and Dean’s arcs. Did not specify who.

Chuck will be more of an absent protagonist in the 1st half of the season (but he in in ep 4)

At the beginning of the season Dean and Cas will still have a rift. They will reconcile “at some point”. Jensen claims as of script 4 they still have friction. This has been repeated several times, from Misha as well. He indicated Dean is still mad at Cas, but Cas doesn’t feel to blame for Mary’s death.

In an interview, Kripe indicated that the series ending would have “peace” for Sam and Dean

Not much new at the TCA’s, but it was said it is “unlikely” Jeffery Dean Morgan will be back since his last appearance was such a good end note. There were some jokes about a Castiel spin off. Hell, I’d watch.

There will be a special tribute ep, not clear if its one of the 20 or additional

Misha will be in 15 out of 20 episodes this season

According to Dabb, Sam and Dean are going to start to lose people who, in past seasons, we would’ve never lost — and lose them in a very real way. Our guys are going to realize there’s a certain finality, and some of the things they’ve relied on to get through the day — people, talents, things like that — they are no longer going to be able to roll out. And that’s going to throw them for a loop (Unfortunately, my guess in Rowena)

Also according to Dabb, Jack is still in the empty and “he’s not coming back in the near future” (this makes no sense. He’s on set for several episodes- interacting with the boys)

Cas’ deal with the Empty may come up later in the season.

Kevin will return.

Season 15 promo: https://youtu.be/V232RpcCdTY

Episode 15x01

Title: Back to the Future

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS: Picking up where we left off last season, Sam, Dean and Castiel are left to defend the world after all the souls in hell have been released and are back on Earth and free to kill again.

Written by: Dabb

Director: Showwalter

Filming Dates: 7/30-8/9 (no filming 8/5 for Canadian holiday)

Airdate: Oct 10

Photos: http://www.ksitetv.com/supernatural/supernatural-season-premiere-photos-back-and-to-the-future/196183/

Promo: (for at least ep one and two) ttps://youtu.be/V232RpcCdTY

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? Yes Jack ? yes

Guest stars:

Other Spoilers/info:

The first episode will start right where the previous left off

Misha posed with the John Wayne Gacy clown

Jensen posted a series of pics- one clean shaven, one vid of him shaving, and one where he appeared to be in character with blood and dirt on his face and in Dean plaid, but with his beard… confusing- some time jump theories are developing for ep 4.

Jensen was photoed filming (wearing an FBI jacket)outside with Alex

Misha and Jared filmed outside with a woman and young girl. They were running from the clown guy and a few other zombie looking creatures. CAS WAS NAKED (haha just no trench) and holding a shotgun. It could have been rehearsal and there was no camera in the clip shared by a fan which might explain the coat? Another fan said it was hot and Misha kept taking the coat off, so I’m sure this just a piece of rehearsal footage.

Alex was filming in white sunglasses. Other set photos indicate he had makeup on his eyes making them look burnt out. There is some spec that Jack will come back blind.

Misha posted a pic of the 4 of them in the impala

According to Variety, the boys will escape the zombies in a temp shelter. They are working together, but Cas feel “detached.” Misha seems to indicate that Cas feels unfairly blamed in Mary’s death and is deeply upset about Jack.

Episode 15x02

Title: Raising Hell

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by: Buckleming

Director: Singer

Filming Dates: 8/12- 8/21

Airdate: 10/17

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? YES Jack ? YES

Guest stars: Ruth Connell, David Haydn-Jones, Rob Benedict, Emily Swallow (?)

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

A set was a high school set up to be a shelter.

Chuck, Ketch and Rowena will be in this. Maybe Amara too. Emily Swallow was in town for only a short time, so I imagine it would just be a scene or two

Ghosts/zombies were seen on set. There will be a scene with Rowena attacking them that includes at least Dean and Cas.

There will be one longer scene in a park.

Alex was in sunglasses again - not sure if this is a costume thing or an Alex thing

Ruth posted two vids of Misha claiming that he had filmed several scenes, but had no dialog - over three days so it must be a scripted reason (A spell? Chuck? Is he giving Dean the silent treatment?)

Ruth posted a video with her trailer, but the video showed Alex’s as well, so Jack

Misha posted from set in costume. Minus the coat again, but I’m still blaming the heat…. But he was without in the two Ruthie videos as well… soo……? I don’t know. I still think it's a heat issue.

Night shoots are scheduled in a warehouse. Hand painted signs indicating quarantine were nearby

Episode 15x03

Title: The Rupture

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by: Berens

Director: Charles Beeson

Filming Dates: 8/22-9/2

Airdate: 10/24

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? yes Jack? yes

Guest stars: Ruthie Connell

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

Part of this ep will take place in hell as well as the cemetery where Jack died at the end of last season

Misha mentioned a scene at VanCon with him, Sam, Dean, Rowena, and Jack

Sam Smith was on set, but I would imagine she was visiting as she was in town for VanCon

Episode 15x04 (filmed out of order)

Title: Atomic Monsters

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by:

Director: Jensen Ackles

Filming Dates: 7/18-7/29

Airdate:

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? Probably not Jack? Probably not

Guest stars: Rob Benedict

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

Jensen mentioned a guest star “fan favorite” that hasn’t been seen since season 7 that is no longer in the business. Guesses include Becky, who hasn’t acted in a while but isn't exactly a fan favorite, Meg, who hasn't acted but she was in season 8, and Balthazar or Frank or Jo or Rufus, but all act frequently. Jensen doesn't always have the most accurate season memory, so he could be off on the season. Since this seems like a Chuck episode, my guess is Becky but I hope for Meg. SOURCE UNCONFIRMED- I haven’t seen this in a reliable source, so take it with a grain of salt.

There was a beaver mascot on set… it looks like they are filming at a school called Beaverdale

Jensen and Jared filed outside in fed suits

Chuck will be in this one. Jensen directed him first alone with his beard unshaved (so maybe a solo Chuck scene or him interacting with others/not the boys). There are also theories of a time jump in this ep.

This will be a one off, classic monster hunting episode with some ties to ongoing storylines. Sam and Dean will leave the bunker to keep their skills sharp

Jensen directed

Misha will not be in this ep

SD Comic Con was during filming

Episode 15x05

Title: Proverbs 17:3

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by: Yockey

Director: Speight

Filming Dates: 9/4-9/13

Airdate:

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? No Jack? doubtful

Guest stars:

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

This will most likely be Yockey’s last episode.

Matt Cohen was around, but I imagine he is following directors to prep for his own debut directing.

Scenes were filmed in the bunker and in a wooded area. A woman could be heard screaming in the outside scene.

Episode 15x06

Title: Golden Time

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by: Meredith Glynn

Director: Steve Boyum

Filming Dates: 9/16-9/25

Airdate:

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel? Yes Jack? Not sure

Guest stars:

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

Misha tweeted from set in costume, so Cas.

Misha also tweeted a pic in blood spatter with two bullet holes in his shirt

Episode 15x07

Title: Last Call

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by:

Director: Amyn Kaderali

Filming Dates:

Airdate:

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel ? Jack ?

Guest stars:

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

Episode 15x08

Title: Last Call

OFFICIAL SYNOPSIS:

Written by:

Director:

Filming Dates:

Airdate:

Photos:

Promo:

Sneak Peak:

Castiel ? Jack ?

Guest stars:

Other Spoilers/info (newest to oldest):

#supernatural #spn season 15 #spn spoilers #supernatural spoilers

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ibelieveinahappilyeverafter · 5 years ago

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Writing Commission - A Gift of Sunshine - Chapter 5

Merry (late) Christmas, Happy Holidays, and Blessed Yule! My apologies for such a delay in the update today, but here we are at last! As apology and a gift, take a double chapter update!

Also, a few of you expressed concern over where the story is going considering there's so many chapters left, and, well... let's just say that good things will come in the end. :)

⁂

Summary: It is the worst day of fifteen-year-old Aizawa Shouta’s life when he trudges home after a failed entrance test to U.A. – the school made for heroes. His worst day abruptly turns strange, however, when he gets home to find a beautiful sword on his bed with a scroll attached that is addressed from his grandfather.

It turns out that his entire family was descended from a samurai (unsurprising considering he lived in Japan) and the sword was meant to help him become a hero. Shouta hadn’t been expecting the sword to talk, however, and he especially hadn’t expected the sword to have a voice as warm as sunshine itself.

It’s a long journey to become a hero like he wants, but Shouta has a feeling that he and Hizashi are going to do just fine.

⁂

Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia

Relationship: Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic/Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead

Characters: Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead

Rating: Teen Audiences

Word Count (Total): 35,935

Transaction Amount: $250 (USD)

⁂

Check out my writing commission information here! Pledge to my Patreon to get exclusive content!

Read and follow the story on AO3!

⁂

<<Previous Chapter>> <<Next Chapter>>

Chapter Five

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Staring down at the mounds of disorganized paperwork in his lap, Shouta idly bit down on his pen and wondered, if he bit hard enough to break the pen and swallow some of the ink, if that would be enough to relieve him of having to deal with the stress of what would surely be his death. Forget villains and falling buildings, it would be the paperwork that would kill him in his career as a pro-hero.

“My, my, what a terrifying scowl, Eraserhead!” Twitching at the words that might as well have been purred out, Shouta glanced up to see ‘Midnight’ and ‘Present Mic’ cheerfully waving at him from his doorway, Nemuri holding Hizashi’s sword in one hand and a bag of take-out in the other. He regretted the day he gave his friends keys to where he lived. “Aw, aren’t you happy to see us? See, see, we even brought you back dinner!”

Shouta managed to withhold his growl, instead turning back to his paperwork with a silent vow that he would burn it, his apartment, and everything inside to the ground if the police so much as lost a single piece of paper once he turned it in; hell, he’d burn the police station down, too. Plus Ultra, and all.

“Shouta, please tell me you’ve actually slept instead of just doing paperwork,” Nemuri was striding over with a very no-nonsense Tensei attitude, dropping Hizashi’s sword into his lap before starting to open and spread out the multiple containers of food that was far too much for two people. “You’re supposed to be resting or else that broken leg of yours is never going to heal!”

“I don’t need rest. I need to get this work done,” Shouta grunted, adjusting the sword to where he was still free to do his paperwork even as he felt Hizashi’s arms curl around his shoulders, a single glance up showing the man smiling down at him.

Hizashi had ‘changed’ into simple clothing that looked soft and easy to move in and his hair, as well, was down out of its ‘hero style’ and lightly pulled out of his face, glasses low on the bridge of his nose; which was still ridiculous. Why did a spirit need glasses? Right. Shouta was getting distracted. He made sure to refocus by glaring at Hizashi with a muttered, “You don’t even start.”

“Aw, what’s wrong, Starlight?” Instead of Nemuri’s over-the-top and sexual tone that coated her purred out words, Hizashi’s was always so much softer and more genuine, the words near whispered against his cheek. The pressure was never anything that could be mistaken as another person touching him, but it was never devoid of warmth, either. It was also just… Hizashi. “Are you still upset Nem and I had to take over?”

“According to what the police are constantly telling me, you don’t legally exist,” Shouta complained, relaxing into Hizashi’s soft hugs and kisses as Nemuri fluffed his pillows, which had been fine, before starting to shove food at him. “I have a broken leg and an appointment with a healer’s quirk tomorrow. Stop fussing.”

“I am not fussing,” Nemuri frowned, the lie said as if she truly believed it. “Is that why you’re so wound up? Just say you teamed up with me and Present Mic for this one and be done with it!”

“You do know that a lot of heroes don’t know if ‘Present Mic’ is even real or not, don’t you?” Shouta felt a swat to his side that made him flinch before he was glaring at Hizashi again, who gestured for him to eat. “You need to stop possessing other pros when they show up on a crime scene.”

“Good luck with that,” Nemuri muttered ‘quietly,’ Shouta throwing her a glare of her own as the woman grabbed her own food and squirmed around on the couch to be able to both touch the sword and not touch his broken leg.

Hizashi, meanwhile, was whining again, “What? No! Shouta, baby, please, it’s not my fault that all of our co-workers are essentially idiots and can’t be bothered to listen to a decent plan without ego getting in the way.” While Nemuri snorted hard enough that it no doubt had hurt, Shouta hid his own laughter with a couple bites of food. “Technically, I do legally exist since I was born in this country. It was just, uh… a long time ago.”

“Unless you can find a birth or death certificate, I don’t think telling them that will help,” Shouta sighed, unable to help the smile he could feel forming when Hizashi pressed a soft kiss against his cheek. “How was the raid? I assume it went fine since neither of you are complaining about dying.”

Then again, all of Shouta’s friends were idiots. Tensei had broken an arm and continued to fight for a full two hours before he had even noticed what had happened - the same Tensei who had cried when getting a papercut a few weeks back, as Shouta recalled. All in all, he wouldn’t be surprised if his idiots were actively dying while acting like everything was fine.

Hizashi, at least, knew him too well as always, already giving a quiet laugh even as he answered. “We’re fine, Shou-chan. Besides, you know I’d forcibly control Nem and take her to the hospital if I thought she needed it.”

“Hey! You said you’d never possess me without consent unless it was an emergency,” Nemuri accused, dramatic ‘heartbroken’ tone to her words that sounded fake as could be. It was enough to make Hizashi flounder, though, Shouta doing nothing beyond watching his boyfriend make excuses and reassure an ‘inconsolable’ Nemuri. He honestly wasn’t sure if Hizashi bought it, or if he had too much fun playing along to the drama; either one was believable with these two.

All their dramatics gave Shouta time to focus back on his paperwork, though, managing to finish off another sheet along with another few bites of food as he thought over the problem that was teaming up with ‘Present Mic.’

While Hizashi technically had a hero license due to Nezu’s meddling and some very bemused scorers for the actual test they had taken, they were still left with the problem that Present Mic wasn’t ‘real’ to most people. Hizashi’s license kept them from being declared villains-in-the-making due to all the possession that took place during their fights, but, to Shouta’s knowledge, all the police stations in over a dozen prefectures despised their teamwork and methods.

Getting Hizashi registered as Present Mic had started as Shouta just wanting to make sure Hizashi was given the proper credit he was due, as the two of them really did work as a duo in their careers now, but it had ended up as one large headache; especially with the gaggle of pro-hero children who seemed to think that they were being mind controlled even after their ‘team ups.’

“If you keep scowling like that then eventually it’s gonna stick,” Hizashi teased, patting at Shouta’s cheek and laughing when Shouta swatted him off. “C’mon, it’s not that bad! Legally they can’t do shit to us, after all.”

“Legally they can make my life a living nightmare with the paperwork they give me and then ‘lose,’” Shouta snorted, reaching for another container of food absently and starting in on that one as well, idly wondering if he should ask Nezu if there were any plans to turn the entire system digital once and for all. Then again, his work would probably just be deleted out of spite. “Maybe we should prove a point and burn one of the stations down.”

“You just need to smile through it, Shouta,” Nemuri sighed, as if she wasn’t rising in popularity and already had a devoted following for her hero image. “Oh! That reminds me! Your agency’s publicist contacted me earlier today!”

“Megumi-san? Why does she have your number?” It wasn’t unheard of for publicists to have some heroes get in contact with others depending on patrol schedules and timing, but that was only if the heroes worked for the same agency. “Is something wrong?”

Nemuri grinned and Shouta felt mildly scared at the same moment Hizashi’s arms tightened around him. “She wanted me to remind you boys that you have an interview tomorrow.”

“Ah. I’m not going.” Shouta took another bite of food, chewing slowly and savoring Nemuri’s shocked and offended expression. Leave it to a media hero to be offended at the idea of avoiding them. “My leg is broken.”

“That’s why Megumi-san contacted me to let me know that your interview was rescheduled to be after your appointment which, like you said earlier, will heal your leg up the rest of the way.” Humming to show he had heard, Shouta idly wondered if breaking another leg would be considered a sign of madness. “And, since I’m such a good best friend, I’ll even be escorting you from the hospital to the station!”

There was a little snicker from Hizashi and Shouta would have thrown the rest of his food in the spirit’s face if it wouldn’t just go through him and stain the carpet. As it was, Shouta made sure to pinch his side until he earned an unflattering yelp. “Aw, c’mon, Shou-chan! This is a great opportunity to present a better image for underground heroes - you won’t even be on television! It’s just for a magazine!”

“What part of underground hero do you two still not get? I’m not supposed to be known at all, let alone out and doing interviews like some ranked hero who never learned that this job is about more than just a pretty smile.” His friends, horrible creatures that they were, didn’t even give his speech anything beyond an eyeroll. They could burn when Shouta set fire to the police station, he decided. “It’s a bad idea.”

“Just let Hizashi take over if you’re so worried about it,” Nemuri sighed, waving her chopsticks lazily as if that wasn’t the worst idea in the world. “He, at least, is good at dealing with the media.”

Shouta laughed at that, unable to help himself as he half-grinned at Nemuri, “Are you kidding? Half the time it’s him who’s pushing me to let loose on the media because they’re ‘trespassing on a crime scene.’”

“Well, that is true,” Nemuri admitted. “But he’s better at acting like he likes the media, unlike you, who does nothing whatsoever to hide his disdain.” Shouta hummed, finishing off the last bite of food as spitefully as he could manage. “Look, it’s just one short interview about life as an underground hero. You’ll be in and out in under an hour at most.”

“It’s a good chance at getting underground heroes seen in a better light,” Hizashi pointed out, a hand running through Shouta’s hair in a gesture that almost had him melting. “I think it’ll be good.”

Ah, well… If Hizashi wanted to do it then Shouta supposed that was that. “If you’re underground you shouldn’t be in any light,” Shouta complained one last time, knowing that the other two knew he had given in just by their grins.

Still, an hour talking about underground heroes was something he could handle well enough. Really, Shouta was sure it wouldn’t be that bad.

⁂

Shouta, with as much hatred, annoyance, and sheer panic as he could muster, clearly and loudly thought the words, This is your fault.

“If we wanna get technical here, it’d be our publicist’s fault,” Hizashi grumbled, sitting on the arm of the armchair Shouta had been forced into the moment he stepped in the room he had been directed to for his interview.

After everything had been explained, Shouta had expected a frazzled intern with too many things to do and too little time on their hands to bother asking too many questions. Instead his interview was being conducted by someone with over a decade of experience, eyes that felt like they were waiting for him to slip up, and a recording device that had been on since the moment he walked into the room.

“You think we could get this chick to sign up for recon at the agency,” Hizashi half-mumbled to himself, Shouta taking small solstice in the feeling of Hizashi leaning against his side and arm and staying close by. “She’s fucking ruthless and I feel like half of ‘em would love her.”

The interviewer, Tanaka, was shuffling through what looked like a plan of attack in bullet point format after Shouta had vaguely explained the differences between acceptable risks and levels of violence and how it changed between ‘media’ heroes and those who worked underground. Tanaka had shown no expression and Shouta was half-wondering if he and his entire agency would be sued.

“So, Aizawa-san, it’s said that you’re officially registered as part of a hero duo with the hero ‘Present Mic,’ but research shows that there’s no record of him beyond a registered hero license dated the same as yours. Care to elaborate?”

Deciding the answer ‘not really’ wouldn’t be sufficient, Shouta tried to relax as he gave a calm answer, “Present Mic and I went to school together at U.A. and formed a duo after we graduated. He’s a more private person than I am, so it’s unsurprising there’s not much information on him.”

Hizashi, at least, found Shouta’s comment about him being ‘private’ as amusing as Shouta thought it was, laughing where Shouta wasn’t able to. “I’ll remember you said that so I can have you back me up next time Tensei yells at me for oversharing.”

“And what of the rumors that your partnership is a romantic one and that you two have been together since your school days?” Tanaka remained completely serious and Shouta took a moment to force himself to stay blank and calm even as Hizashi sputtered beside him, Shouta wanting to do much the same.

“May I ask as to where these rumors originated beyond any base speculation?” Because, yes, alright, every hero fan assumed that all hero duos were romantic at one point or another in their lives if they weren’t siblings, but for an interviewer to just come out and ask? Shouta wasn’t sure if anyone besides Tensei, Nemuri, and possibly Nezu even knew that he and Hizashi were together. Well, Shukuchi might have, but Shouta was sure his former mentor had done his best to pretend they hadn’t been together.

“It’s been a matter of speculation for quite some time in the pro hero circles, especially those that surround underground heroes. I was wondering if you would be able to confirm any of these rumors or lay them to rest.” Hizashi was right. Tanaka was ruthless.

“Tell her that you’re dating your sword. She might be freaked out enough to end the interview early so we can finally leave,” Hizashi snickered, Shouta doing his best to not glare at him or give in to the urge to pinch him.

As it was, he took a moment to center himself before trying to appear as relaxed as possible, leaving his answer at a simple, “No.”

“I see.” Ah, so no was the wrong answer. Good to know for the future, he supposed. “Continuing on with the subject, do you feel comfortable being in a relationship as a pro hero?”

“Yes, I feel comfortable with the possibility of being in a relationship, and many other heroes will say the same. While as an underground hero I’m afforded more secrecy and protection, other heroes have been taught and learned how to separate their civilian life and their hero life in order to have normal, healthy relationships.”

Hizashi gave a snort of laughter, nudging at Shouta, “I’m sure Nezu will be proud to know his favorite student remembered all of his lectures by heart.” The urge to shove him off the chair was overwhelming.

“Yet statistics have shown that relationships involving heroes often fail and last no longer than six months to a year, and these numbers only shrink when it comes to underground heroes and the secrecy involving their work. What do you think about this?”

“Jesus,” Hizashi muttered, no doubt feeling the same disgust Shouta was. “It’s always about the fucking romance angle, isn’t it? Isn’t she supposed to be asking you about, you know, hero work?”

Shouta mumbled a near voiceless, “She’s supposed to.” before speaking normally. “I think that relationships require work and communication no matter the circumstances.”

A gleam entered Tanaka’s eye and Shouta felt something like ice slide into his veins even as he made a note to yell at Megumi later. “So, you’re saying you condone lying to your partner as that’s what’s required of pro hero relationships.”

“Shouta,” Hizashi half-sang, something sharp and dangerous in his tone as Shouta felt the man’s hand curl around his wrist. “Shouta, you should let me take over for a few minutes.” Shouta was half-tempted, but he was pretty sure yelling at an interviewer would be better than cutting her open with a sword.

“In no capacity did I say that lying to one’s partner is required for a relationship in which one party is a pro hero. There are some things that can’t be shared such as case details, yes, but I doubt your partner needs to know about the drug ring you’re tracking in order to feel secure in the relationship.”

“But at one point or another lying would simply have to come into play. You yourself mentioned in this interview that being an underground hero is dangerous work, and that there’s always the chance that those around you will be in some form of danger.”

Shouta could feel Hizashi mentally pushing at him, desperately wanting to take over and say his own piece. Shouta calmly brushed the mental presence away, standing up at the same time before catching Tanaka’s gaze and not letting go.

“As surprising as this might come to someone like you, a relationship can exist without the need for lies and secrecy, as both myself and my partner of five years can testify to. If that will be all, Tanaka-san, I have work to do.”

Shouta was already out the door and slamming it shut behind him before he had to listen to that woman’s voice for any longer, anger carrying him all the way back to their apartment before Shouta was dropping onto the couch and scrubbing a hand down his face, along with a muttered, “Megumi is going to kill us for this.”

There was no answering remark or comment and that realization alone had Shouta darting up, hand closing tight around the sheath of the sword as he quickly looked around for Hizashi who… was staring at him. Silently.

Taking a moment to make sure neither of them were dying and Shouta hadn’t said something worthy of the silent treatment, he finally broke the silence with a quiet, “What’s wrong, Sunshine?” Because it was possible that after all of that Hizashi was even more upset than he was.

“No- No, no, it’s nothing bad, I just- I didn’t-” Hizashi floundered, somehow still soft and quiet even as another part of him seemed overwhelmed and manic. “I… I knew you cared I just didn’t know… I never thought you’d admit you cared to anyone who didn’t know, let alone a reporter. I mean, I’m- I’m not exactly, you know- It’s not like it counts.”

Hoping he was wrong about what Hizashi’s fumbling words could mean, Shouta stood up slowly and moved until he was in front of Hizashi, cutting off the man’s panicked pacing. “‘Zashi. I can’t answer any questions you have if you can’t tell me what those questions are. What doesn’t count?”

“Us! We don’t count!” Hizashi looked a few seconds away from crying and Shouta felt as if the air had been stolen from his lungs. “I’m nothing more or less than a ghost, Shouta, whatever happens between us is just- It’s nothing!”

Hizashi’s shout seemed to ring the air for what felt like an eternity, Shouta taking a slow, calm breath before he did something stupid like throw the sword out the closest window. He loved his boyfriend deeply, after all, even if he was the biggest idiot within all of Japan.

“Alright, then.” Taking another step closer towards Hizashi, Shouta narrowed his eyes when he saw the man take a stumbling step back. That alone, more than anything else, spoke volumes. “Tell me, while looking me in the eye, that our relationship means nothing to you.”

A flash and, like always, the manic and panicked energy seemed to leave Hizashi all at once, Shouta’s arms opening at once as Hizashi fell into them with a muffled sob that hurt more than anything else. It hurt because they had been together for years and Shouta still hadn’t seen just how unsure Hizashi was in what they were to each other.

“You’ve been getting caught up in your head, Sunshine,” Shouta said softly, running a hand through Hizashi’s hair and unable to stop the soft joy and awe he felt as it slid through his fingers. So many years of being able to touch and he still wasn’t over it. “Why are you really so upset? Because I mentioned I had a partner?”

Hizashi managed to cut off what sounded like another forming sob, instead replacing it with a choked off, “Yes.” Shouta felt Hizashi’s nails dig into him, frantic and terrified. “Of course I’m upset, Shouta, because you saying that to someone like her makes it real.”

Pulling back after a bit of a struggle, Shouta cupped Hizashi’s cheek with his free hand at once, frowning at the tear stains and red-rimmed eyes and shuddering breaths. For as much as he claimed he was nothing more than a ghost, Hizashi was the most human out of all of them. “And? Why does that make you upset? I need you to explain it to me, Hizashi. Why-”

“Because that means it’s only going to hurt more when you’re gone.” The words had Shouta snapping his mouth shut, surprised due to the sheer fact that Hizashi rarely, if ever, talked about what would happen after Shouta was… gone. “I love you so much, Shouta, so much that most days it hurts. I’ve never felt like this before and I know that one day, no matter how far away, I’ll lose this feeling-”

“No.” For once, Shouta’s mouth moved first, logic the furthest thing from his mind. “That’s… No. That’s not how it’s going to work.” Shouta leaned their foreheads together gently, smiling even as he saw Hizashi’s confused expression. “That’s not what’s going to happen because no matter what I’ll never… I’ll never stop loving you.” Emotions were never Shouta’s strong suit, but for Hizashi… He could always be strong for Hizashi. “Will you ever stop loving me-?”

“Of course not!” The enraged squawk had Shouta bursting into laughter, unable to stop himself from leaning in to kiss Hizashi softly, tasting the reluctant smile more than anything else.

“Then how are you going to lose this feeling?” Shouta asked softly, feeling embarrassment squirm around inside him as Hizashi’s grief faded for a soft awe that Shouta had only ever seen directed at him. “I’ll be gone one day, and it’s not always going to be easy, but for right now… I’m here. I’m here and I love you.”

Hizashi gave another choked cry, Shouta feeling the helpless smile on his face as he looked at this man he was so ridiculously in love with. “Do you think that’ll be enough, Sunshine?”

“What the hell, Shouta, you can’t just do that we’ve talked about this! You know what happens when you get like this! You get emotional and then I get emotional and-” It was impossible to stop his laughter at Hizashi’s complaints, Shouta finally letting him go with one last kiss before heading towards the bedroom.

“Come on, drama queen, let’s get some rest before our next patrol. If we’re lucky we have at least a week before Nemuri finds out what I said in that interview and comes after me.” Nemuri would probably try to make their relationship ‘public,’ nevermind how she would manage to do something like that. Shouta wouldn’t put it past the witch.

“Excuse you, I am not- Your phone is buzzing.” Pausing to glance back, Shouta looked around before noticing his phone on the couch where it had no doubt fallen out of his pocket, buzzing with text message after text message.

“So it is.” Shouta would deal with it after his nap. “Come on. Nap time.” There was a snort of laughter that Shouta graciously chose to ignore.

“Oh! It’s Nem!” Of course it was the witch. She had probably felt Shouta thinking poorly of her. “She’s asking about the… interview…”

Hearing the trailing silence and feeling a jolt of emotion that was almost enough to knock him off his feet, Shouta was spinning around and getting ready for anything, gaze quickly finding Hizashi, who was standing next to the couch with Shouta’s phone in his hand.

“Hizashi? What’s wrong? What happened?” It was possible Nemuri had been texting about an emergency, but she would typically call, in that case. The emotion had definitely come from Hizashi, but Shouta had no idea what it was about when Hizashi was doing nothing more than standing there and staring down at… at Shouta’s phone that he was holding. “Oh.”

Shouta scratched at his cheek for a moment, staring at Hizashi holding a physical object which, in their hard-learned experience, should be impossible. Finally, after what felt like too long, Shouta nodded to himself.

“Come to bed and take a nap with me and I’ll let you pretend to be me when you text her. We’ll see how long it takes her to realize it’s you.” Shouta was once again heading towards the bedroom, smiling as he heard Hizashi’s loud laughter following after him. All in all, Shouta supposed he wouldn’t yell at Megumi too badly.

#bnha #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #erasermic #a gift of sunshine #original

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bubonickitten · 6 years ago

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to elaborate on that other post (’cause I don’t want to derail it and I ran out of room in the tags)

I think at least some of the apparent generational disconnect re: the current state of the job market/job hunting/settling in at a Steady Career/asserting yourself to your employers/etc. actually comes down to whether or not someone has actually had to go job hunting or start a new job in recent years.

Someone who has had the same job for decades -- especially if it’s a job that offers a pension, benefits, upward mobility, etc. -- probably is largely unfamiliar with how much the job market has changed.

You don’t “hit the pavement” anymore, for the most part. Technology has fundamentally changed the way we hunt and apply for jobs and the interview process. You’re probably going to do it all online, unless you go to a job fair or an agency or Know Someone Who Knows Someone or are applying for a job at a small business that doesn’t have an online application process or something. I have a lot of older patrons at work who got laid off from jobs they’d been in for years, and that they’d expected to be in until they retired (e.g. we have a lot of ex-casino employees who got laid off when the casino they worked for closed or downsized) and are now having a lot of trouble navigating the job hunting process. They’re of retirement age and now they’re applying for jobs that aren’t even looking for long-term full-time employees because those potential employers want to avoid providing benefits as much as they can.

At least a few times a week we get someone asking for help with drafting a resume or filling out an application -- and for those who aren’t familiar with computers (which is many of the older patrons), they have trouble even figuring out how to get to the part of the website where you can submit an application. They realize they need an email address to receive the verification email to make an account on the careers site for each specific company they want to apply to, and then they need help figuring out how to set up a Gmail account, and five times out of ten we see them again later in the week and now they need help because they don’t remember their password and they don’t have an alternate email address or text messaging to receive a ‘reset your password’ link/code, and oh my god all I want to do is submit my application to Walmart, why does this have to be so complicated?

And then after all the confusion they finally get to the part where the company makes you take those shitty multiple choice personality tests that ask questions like “some people are just bad people: Strongly Agree, Agree, Disagree, or Strongly Disagree?”, they’re just like... “what. the fuck. is this??? I just want to see an actual real person and shake their hand and give them a paper application and instead i’m being psychoanalyzed???”

That’s not even to mention how employers tend to phrase job openings in such a way that they require you to have twenty years of experience and a degree but also expect you to accept minimum wage, prove you have “reliable transportation” (which almost always means “your own car”), and have a flexible schedule (which translates to “be on call 24/7 and be ready and willing to drop everything and come in on zero notice”). So many job openings are phrased in a way that scares off anyone who doesn’t have self-confidence-bordering-on-arrogance (or doesn’t know that the employer doesn’t actually expect to find a candidate who fits all of those criteria and when in doubt you should just apply anyway and let the employer sort it out... which i didn’t know for long time). And then the employer finishes off the job opening with something to the tune of “don’t call us, we’ll call you” and unless you have god tier confidence in yourself and call anyway you’ll probably spend the next few days/weeks/months waiting for a callback or an email while the people in your life hound you over and over again with, “You should call anyway, and call and call again, that way they know you’re Serious.”

Then most entry-level jobs (especially food service, retail, etc.) don’t even guarantee you a set number of hours each week, let alone a set schedule that gives you the freedom to make plans outside of work. They’ll have you work 39 hours a week but send you home before you hit 41 because they don’t want to pay overtime. Almost none of these jobs guarantee paid sick/vacation/personal time, paid holidays, health benefits, a pension, or even that you’ll still have the job in a few months and not be laid off as soon as the holidays/tourist season/whatever are over. If you don’t get laid off and you stick around long enough you might eventually get benefits, if the employer even offers them to anyone (small businesses with few employees often don’t), but in the meantime the company expects your absolute loyalty and dedication while giving no sense of security in return.

Anyway, I find that more often than not, the people who don’t grasp all of that are people who haven’t had to navigate the job market or start a new job for years. And especially those who haven’t had to work in the service or retail industries in recent years. But it really becomes evident whenever we have an older person come in to use the computers Looking For A New Job Because They Got Laid Off. Or when I talk to coworkers who have been working in the same job since they were my age and don’t understand why my generation is so flaky and noncommittal -- as if we’re deliberately avoiding stability and security, rather than the reality that employers often don’t make an effort to provide stability and security in the first place.

So, yeah, it’s a bit of a generational thing, and even moreso a class thing, but also... a large portion of it is a Modern Job Market thing and it’ll affect almost anyone who finds themself in a position where they need to beg for a job from an employer that doesn’t give a fuck about them (which is also intertwined with it being a class thing), whether they’re looking for their first job or they’ve been working their whole lives.

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iamphella · 6 years ago

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The Difference A Year Makes

I almost titled this “the difference a tear makes” but that would’ve been corny and forced. Sometimes you just need to relax. But that other title would’ve been appropriate because there really are different types of tears and different levels of crying. I’ll explain.

About a year ago (spring 2018), I was in what I can now describe as the late stages of a dark period that seemed to have gone on forever. It began in the Fall of 2017, possibly before then, and got very ugly in the winter of 2017. I spent my New Year’s Eve in my bedroom by myself with such incredible brain fog and just pain and doubt and worry and wondering if it would ever end. It wasn’t pretty or fun and even putting myself in that place now as I write this makes me wanna stop writing, but let’s continue.

As I’m working my way through the haze in Spring of last year and trying to step back into the light, one of the things that helped me and gave me a shot of hope was this lengthy interview Charlamagne tha God did with Kanye West. I can’t remember everything in the interview, but there was a part where Kanye went into his mental and physical breakdown from 2016, an event that kind of threw me off for a second when it first occured. I was on some hilly sidewalk close to downtown LA when my mom called me and said “you heard Kanye West was rushed to the hospital?” I finished up what I was doing then got on my phone to get the details and while I was a bit worried, my faith which was still in tact at the time, didn’t let me worry much. I knew he’d be good because his story still had much more to come.

Back to last year and the interview. The interview came at a time when I was a crying machine (see attached photos). After a near decade-long drought of never feeling much of anything, I was feeling everything all at once and it just wouldn’t stop. For at least a month between April and May I cried at least once everyday. I felt alone and I was in pain and just wanted to know when and how it would be over. In his interview, Ye talked about how that episode led to him losing his confidence. He talked about how what led up to it was basically taking on too much. Being the person who has to be there for everyone, not sleeping or eating right, stressing, not fully healing from emotional traumas, the list goes on.

As Kanye told it to Charlamagne, you can see someone who once thought himself to be invincible who came face to face with his own mortality and how it can all really be over just like that. That was similar to what happened to me and I could completely relate. I was just going about my life, kind of feeling exhausted mentally and physically but still trying to be there for everyone and then the next thing you know, ambulance, hospital, mental and physical shutdown, wondering how you got there. Then months and months of isolation wondering how to get back to your old form or create a new one. Questioning everything about life as you knew it.

I fought tooth and nail for months to get the old me back. I wanted to erase the pain of everything that happened. Not just from the episode but dating as far back as my adolescent years. There was a lot of stuff I never really stopped to unpack. I had been carrying it with me for so long and with such a rigorous daily schedule, I never noticed that that’s what was weighing me down emotionally. I thought it was just the norm for me to feel so detached. Only while unpacking, did I see where a lot of my thoughts and feelings (or lack thereof) stemmed from. And I was doing all this unpacking, mental and physical rehabilitation, without the aid of any kind of therapist or doctor or any medication. That was another part of the interview that struck a chord. Kanye talked about how he wasn’t seeing a therapist and didn’t like taking medication because of how they made him feel (note: please see a therapist or doctor and take medication if you believe you need it. There’s absolutely no shame in it and it’s actually the wise thing to do if you need it.)

I was relying on some of my trusted methods to get me into feeling like an actual human again. God first. I prayed and prayed and prayed some more. Music. Any music that was positive or spiritual or soulful or had anything to do with pain and loss and love and life, I listened to on repeat. I couldn’t socialize or work, so the music was basically my only thing to do. That and watching sports. I meditated. I created a routine and stuck to it. Began using my social media apps a little more actively and cleaned up any kind of content that would trigger me or make me feel lesser because of what I was dealing with (there was a lot to clean up). I became comfortable with uncomfortable conversations and set boundaries for people around me. For the first time ever I also learned how to say no without feeling guilty.

Realizing that you mean a lot to a lot of people will reshape how you go about life. A lot of things suffered because of me not being myself. I came to the realization that it’s actually a selfless act to protect my well being so that I can be of service to the world like I was meant to be. We are all needed. Being in a prolonged “dark space” or being weakened mentally or physically causes a ripple effect on many more lives than we can imagine. It’s like a lightbulb that has a broken switch. You’re there but you’re not lighting the way for others to see clearer. You see them stumbling and kicking things and you know that you can easily help, but the switch needs to be fixed and needs to be protected from being broken again.

I don’t wanna make this any longer than it needs to be and I don’t like talking about myself for this long so I’ll start to bring it home. Almost all the books I read and the videos I watched during my healing always emphasized SERVICE. I remember Will Smith preaching the importance of service so I’ve always believed in it and I’ve basically spent my life serving. But I didn’t realize that the absence of serving was partly what caused my breakdown and what was keeping me there.

I needed to feel like I was of use to the world again. Needed to start doing things to positively affect others. Whether in my family, in my community, online, wherever there was a need. The more I did that, the stronger I became and the more my confidence began to restore. Parts of the old me that needed to come back were coming back, the parts that needed to be shed were shed and were making room for new habits and new ways of thinking and being.

This past Easter weekend was extremely powerful. night I had a haircut appointment set up with my friend and barber for about a decade when I’m home on the east coast. As I was rushing to get to his shop, I accidentally left my phone at home. Me 6 months ago wouldn’t even want to go to that barbershop. It’s at the mall, so many familiar faces who knew me before I got broken down by life. Why go there when I can go to any generic barber and get a decent cut? Me a year ago wouldn’t even go to the mailbox without my phone. What if my body shuts down on me again and I have an emergency? What if this? What if that? But Saturday night there was none of that. I was good. I was confident. I was....me. Went and kicked it with my guy, got a nice cut, went in the mall and then came home and watched some incredible basketball games. Hardly a worry in the world.

The next morning--Easter Sunday--I woke up early and starving. I shared Happy Easter greetings with my family and friends then headed to a brunch spot to get breakfast. Everything was so peaceful and serene. The girl at the bar taking my order didn’t seem to be in the best mood, but I didn’t let it change my vibration. I know she’s up early on a Holiday making drinks for people and taking food orders to make some money. Not being all smiles is definitely understandable. I spoke politely to her and tipped as best as I could then I left and returned thirty minutes later to grab the food.

Headed home and set up my battle station to watch Kanye West’s Sunday Service at Coachella. For the past year since the Charlamagne interview, I’ve watched Kanye slowly gain his confidence and his swagger back. From ranting at TMZ and in the Oval Office to selling sneakers at a Lemonade stand with his children for mental health awareness, to the weekly Sunday Services where he and friends and family gather to sing praises and dance. I’ve seen him skateboarding, go to Tokyo to hang out with his old friend Dave Chappelle, seen him stumble through his raps in the few live performances he has done (SNL and Camp Flog Gnaw). I’ve seen him basically just be human. I’ve seen him healing while simultaneously I was going through my own healing. I’ve seen try to be of service to people because that’s what we need to do to feel fulfilled.

The show starts. It’s everything you expect from a Kanye West show when all the chips are on the table. The fans were read; the curious folks were too. The doubters and the critics already began to build narratives and telling people what to think about an event yet to take place. But none of that mattered on this Sunday. When you’re called to serve, you’re called to served and that is your only mission. Everything else can be addressed later or never addressed at all.

The music was big and bright. The clothes were dull, I would assume by design. Almost like everyone there was covered up but naked at the same time. There was nothing to distract from the mission: to give praise for healing, for overcoming, for the strength and wisdom to navigate through trials and tribulations, both past and the ones to come. It was a bunch of creative people from all walks of life going to tell it on the mountain. There was no hierarchy. Everyone was on a level from the security guards to the Coachella attendees to Kim Kardashian to Kanye himself. The cameras never focused on any one person for longer than two minutes. This wasn’t to be watched. It was to be experienced. It wasn’t to be judged. It was to be partaken in.

And partake I did. As the huge blueberry pancakes and spinach omelette I just downed were settling in, my spirit was being lifted by the moment. Every sound was reminding me of how far I had come. Every person’s smiles and dance steps was contagious and made me smile and dance. And then came the one brief moment where the music stopped. Chance the Rapper had just flawlessly delivered his verse from Kanye West’s “Ultralight Beam” which was a moment in itself. Chano from 79th standing on a platform being proudly looked at by his Chicago idol. This is the stuff hip-hop dreams are made of. Chance steps down and DMX steps up. Yes, young Chance the Rapper who just recently came into fame in the last half a decade is being followed by legendary Earl Simmons at Coachella in 2019 and it doesn’t seem weird at all because we know why X is there. A video went viral three weeks prior of DMX delivering one of his signature prayers at Kanye’s Sunday Service gathering.

Now it was time for X to deliver on the big stage. Probably the first time in life where I saw DMX look a little bit nervous. He once was a headliner at Woodstock in front of a crowd of 200,000+ people so this wasn’t exactly new territory. But that was in 1999--two decades ago. Before he had to prematurely let go of the chokehold he once held on the rap game. That was before the memes of him breaking down crying on reality shows about his childhood, marital struggles and drug addiction. That didn’t matter on Sunday. DMX was there to perform a service and a sermon and he quickly shook off the nerves and did exactly that. My mom even called me later and said “that DMX needs to be given a church; he’s gifted.”

As X stepped down from the highest platform on the mountain and the choir and band were beginning to rev back up, the camera pans to Kanye West with his face buried in his hands crying unconsolably. I was already having an emotional and spiritual weekend and the Chance the Rapper portion was already making me feel all kinds of proud, just to be a child of hip-hop and just be alive. But then within seconds of seeing Kanye cry, and DMX and Kid Cudi-- two of the biggest survivors the music industry has ever seen--place hands on him to comfort him, the tears began to form in my eyes. Yes, it’s as cheesy as it sounds and I was really laughing at myself but I couldn’t stop it. Other choir members, men and women, were crying also. Everybody for their own personal reason that doesn’t need explanation.

My tears from a year ago were from pain and from confusion. My tears on Easter Sunday (also known as the day of Resurrection) were from triumph and clarity, and optimism and gratefulness. The people on that mountain had done it. I had done it. God, especially, has done it and will continue to do it. And that shift in perspective, and then in reality, is the difference that a year can make.

Peace and Love

#Life #Healing #Music #Easter Sunday #Coachella #Kanye West #Sunday Service #Service

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lord-arlen · 6 years ago

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Thoughts inspired by looking at the archives of this blog, which basically turned into a lengthy account of the last 3 years of my life.

Why did I originally stop using this blog? I originally stopped using this blog not long after starting my studies in Edinburgh when I was in a really bad condition mentally. I had intended Edinburgh to be a new start where I would try to be a different person and it just completely failed; I didn’t have the willpower. So the first few months I was beating myself up over having failed to do any activities or talk to anybody. I got really depressed and I felt like I had to stop posting here, because I was worried that contemplating the situation too much was exacerbating it, and I was worried that I would spread too much of a negative mood to my readers.

But not long after I made this blog private a magical thing happened. I was on a pretty small Master’s course, and everybody on it was talking to each other via a group chat and going out together and stuff like that---except me, because I hadn’t spoken to anybody and didn’t know any of this was going on. But since the course was that small, it was impossible for them not to notice this. So they took pity on me, I guess---I think it was actually mostly the initiative of one person, a Greek called Olga. She started kind of aggressively socializing with me in class, asking me questions and so on, and soon enough I was in their group chat and being invited to outings to pubs and films and so on. There also ended up being a fair amount of group project work on the course, so I got to know a lot of them that way. Although I was a very quiet member of the group normally, I could actually make significant contributions to discussions when I was working together with them on a group project. All sorts of things happened! We all watched Arrival together! I went to somebody’s house to talk to them about research! I celebrated Chinese New Year with people! I went to a sushi party! At one point I was even going semi-regularly to the common room to have lunch with these people and just chat with them relaxedly---this is the kind of Holy Grail of social life that I’ve never previously or since attained. One of my regrets is that I never went with them with them to an academic conference in (IIRC) the Netherlands---I’m not very confident about travelling because I’ve basically never travelled anywhere far from home before, but that would have been an ideal opportunity to get that experience.

So I was pretty happy from like November 2016 to May 2017. And I think some of the highest-quality output on my WordPress blog and main Tumblr account comes from that time.

It wasn’t to last, however. In the end, I still didn’t manage to make any proper connections with people. I never initiated conversations with anybody, because I didn’t know what to talk to them about. I never really got any idea of what they were like as a person, what they would like or wouldn’t like to talk about, because I’m bad at paying attention to such things. My presence in that social group was only really maintained by the common social context of the Master’s course bringing us together. So by the time teaching ended and I started working on my dissertation, all the social events dried up as everybody had to get to work. I was still in their group chat, and some people asked me for help proofreading their essays or with writing code for their projects, so I did have some contact still, but it was all slowing down and I realized it wasn’t going to last.

The dissertation was an interesting experience. It was probably the most significant thing I’ve ever achieved. I had been worried about whether I would be able to come up with something to do it on, given that I’m not particularly creative and more comfortable with learning what’s already known than doing original research. But one of my lecturers had been talking about an approach to doing linguistics research that I had never come across before: having people learn artificial “mini-languages” in an experimental setting and seeing what sort of errors they made, in the hope that this would tell us about the language transmission process in general. It was pretty easy to generate a novel experiment in this vein formulaically: just pick a Greenbergian universal of the form “A implies B”, design the artificial language training data to exhibit A but be ambiguous about whether it has B, see if the experiment subjects generalize to B or ¬B when their knowledge of the mini-language is tested subsequent to training. So I picked Universal 38 and my dissertation was the resulting experiment.

Designing and carrying out the experiment was quite fun. There was a bit of an issue where I took a while designing the experiment and my supervisor got worried. But eventually I was done, and when I was done it had been designed carefully. I put out an ad offering to pay £5 to all of my subjects (all funded by a grant from the department) and I got my desired 40 subjects quite quickly. Setting up the experiment, contacting all 40 of these people, scheduling a place to meet them, instructing them on what to do, all of these were things I never thought I’d have the executive function to pull off, and yet I did them all with actual ease. The effort of doing all this basically distracted me from the emerging collapse of my social life.

Then I got to the stage of actually writing the dissertation. And that was pretty tough. One issue was that my parents wanted me to go on holiday with them to Greece, because by this time it was July. I had a kind of emotional conversation with them where I had to refuse, because I knew I was pressed for time and taking a week off from writing would probably result in failure. They didn’t really accept this and kept saying things like, “but if you work hard enough, you can finish the dissertation in time and still go on holiday with us”, and I had to convince them I wasn’t capable of working that hard. After repeatedly keeping my stance firm they finally relented. (This is a fairly significant milestone in my mind because my parents still kind of have the mindset where I’m their child and they determine what activities I’m doing, and I’m generally bad at saying “no” to them.)

But writing the dissertation was a fairly lonely and stressful endeavour, and by the time I finished, I had kind of lost all faith in my experiment. I doubted whether an artificial “mini-language” could really tell us anything about a real natural language. I also realized I had no real understanding of statistical inference, and so I couldn’t really talk about what my results meant. I did a very basic statistical analysis on the data, which may not have been the appropriate one for the data, and got a nearly-but-not-quite significant p-value. My results and conclusion sections ended up being very short.

It was this disillusionment that led to me deciding to not bother to apply for a PhD and just try to get a job. I knew it would be difficult, because I had no idea what sort of job to do, or how to effectively decide what sort of job to do. But I figured it was what I had to do. And in the end I’d probably get it done, I thought. Even though I was disillusioned with what I had done, 2017 gave me a lot more confidence in my ability to do things.

In September my accommodation contract ended and I was living with my parents again. I had one idea for what job to do that had come to me at that point (via a suggestion from my mother, not from my own searching): to get a job as a copy editor at a fairly well-known UK secondary educational textbook company. That seemed like a reasonably interesting thing to do and the company seemed like a nice place to work it. They had a pretty gruelling application process. I did get invited to an on-site interview + round of tests at an “Assessment Centre” in December. Although this happened in September, I basically avoided job searching until this interview happened months later, because I was kind of riding all my hopes on this one job and because searching for jobs was hard.

Their Assessment Centre experience was actually quite fun. Apart from the job interview, my first ever, where I was extremely awkward, as one would expect from my personality. But the tests were fun, and they seemed easy enough. There were also several people doing the tests with me who I talked to a bit throughout the day. There was an extremely posh guy called Rupert who was writing a sci-fi novel and making a conlang for it---he’s the only other person I’ve ever met IRL who does conlanging. There was a girl who I talked to about birds (I had gotten into birdwatching [solitarily] in mid-2017 at Edinburgh once social events with my course mates became less frequent.) But I didn’t get any of these people’s emails or phone numbers or Facebook accounts or anything, so nothing lasting came of that.

In the end, that job went to one of the other people. So then I had to continue my job search. My graduation from Edinburgh happened around this time, at the end of December. I ended up feeling pretty sad throughout the ceremony because I felt like the good part of my life was ending. My parents tried to get pictures of me smiling, which was really annoying at the time. In the end they didn’t get any. Obviously I think it’s a pity now that there are no photos of me smiling at my graduation from Edinburgh, but it was necessary with my feelings at the time.

Although I’ve just realized that there is a photo of me smiling at my graduation... just not one my parents took. Obviously I saw my coursemates again at graduation. But I really didn’t know how to deal with this, given that it would probably be the last time I ever saw them again. I don’t know how to handle saying goodbye to people. So naturally I handled it in the worst possible way by trying to avoid them. I chatted a bit to the people I was sitting next to during the ceremony, but then afterwards when we all went outside, and everybody gathered together to do some more chatting, I just slunk off back to my parents. But before I could get to them, I heard somebody calling my name, and it turned out that one of them---a Bulgarian girl called Zlati---wanted to take a picture of me, to remember me by. I was quite touched by this and so at that point, I did smile. OK, it wasn’t really a genuine smile, I was too depressed for that, but I did make my best effort to smile. Here is the picture (she sent it to me on Facebook afterwards):

She works in Oxford now, or at least that’s where she went immediately after Edinburgh. She told me that if I’m ever in Oxford I should let her know. I haven’t spoken to her ever since. I would like to, but I don’t know how to. (The same goes for all of my Edinburgh coursemates, of course.) If I did go to Oxford I probably would be able to contact her because she explicitly permitted that, but until that happens I probably won’t do it. Maybe I could go to Oxford once I have my own place and am more confident about travelling. Hopefully she would still be happy to meet me now that over a year has passed.

In any case---although I would definitely like to meet my Edinburgh friends again, ultimately I am not going to have my social needs met until I have friends where I live, who I can meet on a regular basis.

Anyway, that was 2017. And then in 2018, I just... kind of faffed around for the first half of the year. I couldn’t make any decisions. It was just very exhausting to think about what I should do. I could do programing, but it wasn’t something that really appealed to me very much. I did contemplate becoming a teacher, because trying to convey information to people is something I do enjoy very much... but teaching involves a lot more than that, and it is probably something that would be pretty tough on somebody with as poor social skills as me. So while I did contact some recruiters about teaching jobs I ended up chickening out on following up on any of the opportunities they brought up. By February I was thinking I should definitely consider doing a PhD as well. But the application process for a PhD is a lot more demanding, and it’s more difficult to find information on how it should be done. If I had still been in Edinburgh I could have asked my coursemates for help, maybe, but at home it seemed impossible. The biggest obstacles are the need to pick a supervisor, and the need to have a research proposal (if I’m looking to do a PhD in linguistics in the UK, at least). I still would like to do a PhD more than anything else but I can’t make any progress towards it until I have some idea what I would do my PhD about.

In March my parents made me sign up for a free course offered by the local council for jobseekers. That actually had the effect of me not doing any jobseeking while the course was running, because as long as I was attending the course I felt like I was Doing Something. The classes for the course were not particularly bothersome because they were only from 10am to 3pm, and they didn’t require much work---all we were doing was getting told basic information about how to write CVs, how to use Microsoft Excel, etc. I did talk to the other course attendees, one of whom happened to actually be someone I knew from high school. So that was a reasonably fun experience. But it was just procrastination really.

After that course I had to just suck it up and get a programming job. I couldn’t think of anything else; although I wasn’t really into programming, I had been in the past and had acquired basic fluency with coding that way. Since programmers are in high demand, and employers are also used to them being socially awkward types who don’t do well in behavioural interviews, I figured I’d be able to get a job without too much trouble.

And that’s what happened. I applied for a few jobs, got a few interviews, and said yes to the first company that gave me an offer. And that’s how we got to the current situation. What I didn’t really realize at the time was how unpleasant the experience of having a job I’m not enthusiastic about would be. I obviously wasn’t looking forward too it, but I figured it would just be a bit dull and I’d be able to deal with it and maybe think in a relaxed way about how to achieve greater ambitions over several years. Instead it turns out that it’s actively, significantly unpleasant and leaves me in a state of sort of perpetual panic.

So I am pretty depressed again, just like I was when I stopped this blog. But not depressed in a hopeless way. I mean, things could get better, and I am trying to make them better. Right now, the most important change I think I can make is moving out of my parent’s house. One thing that’s apparent from this review of the last 3 years is that although I managed to Do Things at Edinburgh to some extent, I pretty much lost that ability once I moved back in with my parents. I guess this is the place where I spent two decades growing up as a more or less completely passive person, so naturally it’s hard to maintain agency here. Maybe moving will help, maybe it won’t. If it doesn’t help, I have more options, like trying to get a new job or doing serious dedicated work towards coming up with a PhD research proposal or trying to find fulfilment from hobbies or something. I will never be out of options; there are always new things to try; there is always hope. The good part of my life may be over but we won’t know for certain until the day that I die, which is hopefully a long way away.

#about me #my life

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holllandtrash · 7 years ago

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Darling, It’s Cold Outside; Tom Holland

12 DAYS OF HOLLLANDTRASH : DAY 3/12

suggested: nah

pariring: tom holland x reader

words: 1800+

summary: based off the holiday song we all know, but with less creepy intentions and a cute modern twist

Have an idea for 12 Days Of Holllandtrash? Send me a suggestion.

What is 12 Days of Holllandtrash? Click here

day (1) (2)

You sat on the bench in front of the large window in Tom’s bedroom, curling your knees under your butt and resting your arms on the ledge as you watched the ongoing snow storm through the frosted glass.

From behind you, you could hear the door creak open, followed by some footsteps. It was only a few seconds later when you turned your head to watch Tom sit on the bench beside you, groaning from the lack of space he had to work with as he crossed his legs. In his hands were two mugs of hot chocolate and without saying a word, he handed you the one that was overflowing with marshmallows. Just from gripping it in your hands you could tell that it was much too hot to drink, so you let it sit.

“It’s bad out there,” but you didn’t need to hear it to know it to be true. It started snowing during the early hours of the morning and it had yet to stop. The winds have picked up and the fall became heavier, covering every square inch in a blanket of white. In the driveway, you could see Tom’s car with an entire foot of snow on top of it. From the corner of your eye, you noticed Tom scrunch up his face after taking a small sip of the beverage.

“It’s hot,” you warned him as the corner of your lips turned upwards into a smirk.

“I know. I was the one made it.” He ran his tongue along his bottom teeth, trying to get rid of the numbing feeling the hot chocolate gave him, “I do that everytime I swear. I always know I’ll burn my tongue but I drink it anyway.” He placed the mug in between his legs, careful to wipe away any excess liquid beforehand so it didn’t stain the bench.

“You know I’m going soon, right?” you asked him silently, your gaze still locked on the snowfall outside, “I really can’t stay.”

“There’s no way you’re leaving this house,” He snorted, not believing a single word of yours. “I don’t have any furniture in the spare room yet but you can take the bed. I don’t mind sleeping on the couch.”

You took the bus over to Tom’s house this morning, before the weather became too dangerous to drive in. He needed help unpacking the last of his moving boxes as they’d just been sitting in the hallway for the past week and he lacked the motivation. At first when he called and asked you to come over, you wanted to say no because of how cold it was outside but then you pondered it a bit more.

Tom had been one of your closest friends for a few years now. You used to spend a lot of time together but when he started lining up more acting jobs, it became harder to see him due to his busy schedule. He came home about a month ago and of course you were there to greet him with open arms at the airport, but since then it’d still been hard to make plans. He wanted to see his family and he still had plenty of interviews planned, so when the opportunity came up to hang out at his new house all day, you jumped on despite it meaning you had to brace the snow.

You were aware that his life had become so different over the span of a year but had changed drastically during that time. He carried himself with more confidence, he held his head high and you had to admit, it was a good look for him. He seemed to be so much happier and full of life. From your point of you, it looked as though everything was falling into place for him and you were beyond ecstatic for your friend.

At the same time, a small part of your heart ached. Of course, you were proud of the person he had become and you loved being able to watch him grow into a man admired by people all over the world. But you had feelings for Tom practically since the moment you were introduced to him and it hurt knowing that he wasn’t yours. He never would be. Your lifestyles weren’t compatible and you doubted he was even looking for a relationship.

So you kept your emotions a secret from him, from everyone. You knew that eventually you would move on, but for now, sitting beside him and looking out the window at the storm, you cherished this moment. Just you and him. You wished it could last forever but you knew you had to go home.

“The evening’s been so very nice, Tom. But my mum will start to worry if I’m not home,” You told him, shaking your head at the mere image of your mother frantically watching the front door until you walked through it and you could definitely see your father pacing back and forth, just on edge as she was.

“Oh come on,” you turned your head to see him smiling at you, still sticking to the idea of you staying at his place. “My house is warm and I have a fireplace, electric but still a fireplace. I’m not letting you brave that storm just for your parents sake. Call them. Let them know you’re okay here.”

“Tom,” you sighed his name in an attempt to get him to stop trying to persuade your mind.

He only looked at you for a minute and his eyes saddened while he nodded, “At least finish the drink, half of it even. I slaved over it.”

You rolled your eyes, “Yes because it’s so hard to boil water and add powder.” As you took a sip of the drink you winced as it burnt your throat on the way down, but not because of the temperature. “What the hell is in this drink?”

“Bailey’s,” he shrugged, fighting back his laughter. “I thought we could use it after unpacking boxes all day.”

“I’m leaving,” you chuckled and stood up from the bench, your legs going numb from sitting on the nerves for so long. Tom took the mug from your hands as he stood with you, knowing you weren’t going to finish it. He placed both of them on the desk while you reached for jacket and toque that were draped over the end of his bed.

“Please. I’ve never seen such a blizzard before.” his tone became more of a beg as he moved to block the entryway of his room, gripping the sides of the frame. You slid the hat over your head and walked over to him with your arms crossed. You assumed that with every step closer you took to him, he would just move aside. But he stood his ground and soon you were standing only a few inches apart. So close that you could see how the brown in his eyes faded into a lighter, almost golden, color around the pupil. You felt his breath hit your face and you were certain if he tried hard enough, he could hear your heart racing beneath the sweater you wore.

“Tom,” you said his name again, licking your lips to rid the dryness. He clenched his jaw and you watched as his eyes darted back and forth from your own and down to your lips. He stayed silent and your thoughts went wild. You had never been this close to him before. A single motion and you could be kissing him, God knows you wanted to.

Your eyes went wide as you noticed him leaning in ever so slowly. You braced yourself for whatever was to happen next, but you weren’t prepared for when he snatched the toque directly from the top of your head and took off running with it over to the opposite side of the bedroom.

“You’re a child,” you groaned as you turned around and stepped towards him, growing tired of how fast he was turning into a bitter little child. “Give it back.”

“No cabs to be had out there,” he ignored your command and tossed it between his hands before finally putting it on his own head as the smile he wore only became bigger, “No buses either. Nothing. You’re spending the night. It’s for your own good.”

“I’ll walk. I don’t live too far.”

The second you got to him, he leaped to the side, walking backwards until he reached the end of his bed, letting himself fall onto it as the back of his legs hit the side. He sat down, still with your hat on, and looked at you pleadingly, “You’ll freeze out there.”

“Give me my hat, Tom.”

“It’s literally up to your knees out there,” he argued with you and you exhaled a breath of annoyance as you made your way towards him slowly. “You’ll get frostbite if you go outside. Worse, actually. Pneumonia. You’ll get pneumonia and die. I couldn’t live with myself if that happened.”

“I’m not going to die you idiot,” When you finally reached him, you stood between his legs and raised your hand to pull the hat from his head, but he was quick to duck out of the way. He even held his own arms up to block you and he only ceased his movements when you gripped his wrists and held them to the side. For a second you thought you had beat him, but in one fluid motion, Tom fell backwards onto the bed, taking you with him.

You landed directly on top of him but he didn’t seem to mind. His eyes landed on your lips, both of you taking note of the fact that there was hardly any space separating you from him.

“I’ve got-…” your breath caught in your throat and you swallowed away the lump that grew, your eyes bore into his. “I’ve got to get home.”

“Darling.” He started off, his voice was a whisper but you could barely hear it over the sound of your own heartbeat, “It’s cold outside.”

He let you pin his arms down helplessly beside his head, not even putting up a fight. You could have easily taken the hat and left, he wasn’t doing anything to stop you anymore. But you weren’t moving either. Your breathing became in sync as your eyes bore into his.

Before you could talk yourself out of it, you closed the gap between you and him, pressing your lips furiously against his. He must have been waiting for it because the second you did, he tore his arm from your grip and one hand became tangled through your hair while the other found your hip, holding you close against him.

Once you made the first move, Tom didn’t hold back. His mouth moved desperately against yours before he managed to flip himself over so you were now underneath him, “Okay,” You muttered against his lips, a smile appeared on his face as he pulled back, already knowing what you were about to say next.

“I’ll stay.”

#tom holland #tom holland fanfic #tom holland one shot #tom holland fanfiction #tomholland #i love tom holland #12 days of christmas #12daysofholllandtrash #marvel #MCU #christmas one shot #christmas imagine #baby its cold outside #darling

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71tenseventeen · 7 years ago

Text

Home for the Holiday

The cheesy Hallmark Christmas AU no one asked for.

Contrary to what everyone thinks, Sidney likes his house. He does.

He likes the way the light shines into his living space and the layout of the main floor, the way everything is open and airy. He loves the location of his bedroom and the shower in the en suite is probably one of the best things he’s ever invested in. It’s big enough but not too big, the kitchen is great and back yard is really wonderful. It’s a really great house.

He just—he doesn’t know how to make it feel like home.

He started by filling it with furniture that he picked and really likes. And that made it better but it still wasn’t quite what he wanted. Then he’d gone to Tanger’s house for dinner and realized that their house felt so...warm. Not warm in temperature but in color and design. There were so many things besides just the furniture. Photos, paintings, art, plants, pillows, throws—so he’d enlisted Catherine’s help and together they spent hours and hours at Target and Ikea and then several more hours placing things throughout the house and Sidney really liked the result. It looked really great and it was nice having the extra throws and the pillows on the couch and he even liked his new house plants. It was great.

But it still wasn’t right.

He thought maybe it was just because the house was new, the furniture was new, all the art and random house things—all of it was new. So he gave it a few months until much of it was gently worn and a little cozier and he liked that.

But it still wasn’t enough.

He tried new paint colors, fresh flowers, interesting landscaping and even had his friends over for dinner a few times. And he enjoyed all of those things—both the process of planning them and then actually having them.

But at the end of day he still goes to bed feeling slightly off center, like something is missing.

Sidney isn’t stupid. He realizes that the friends whose houses he spends the most time at— Flower, Kuni, Duper, Tanger, Horny—they all have families. And maybe he’d think that was it but every time he dates someone and invites them over, he mostly just looks forward to them leaving at the end of the evening so he can have his space again. And besides, lots of people live alone and don’t have this issue so it can’t be that.

When the holiday season rolls around, between games, practice, interviews and holiday parties, Sid’s schedule is packed.

By the middle of December he’s already going to his fourth holiday party—this one at Flower’s. Sid has always enjoyed Christmas lights and decoration as much as the next person but when he pulls into Flower’s driveway, his first thought is “Wow.”

Flower’s house looks amazing. He’s even had some landscaping done in the front to add new bushes and trees that lights are draped around.

His second thought is,This must have taken him days. Where does he find the time?

Between games and practice and road trips and, frankly, everyone else’s holiday parties, Sidney doesn’t even have up a tree yet let alone a single strand of lights. He’ll be lucky if he manages to get some kind of wreath on the door—though he doubts it will matter. Christmas decorations are fun but he doesn’t have kids running around or family visiting or even any parties planned so will anyone even see them?

He shrugs and gets out of his car, whistling at the the small trees lining the path to the door, all lit up with muted blue lights. It’s a nice touch, he thinks, and figures he’ll tell Flower as much.

Except when he gets inside, he temporarily forgets about the little trees because inside looks, if it’s possible, even more amazing than outside. A soft theme of blue and white has been carried throughout the house and even though there are lights and trees and decorations everywhere, none of it seems overdone or obnoxious.

It’s a nice night with good friends. Sid adores all of these people and he loves being around them and their families. He compliments Flower on the house as they’re both loading their plates up in the kitchen.

“Everything looks amazing! How did you find time for any of this?”

“You’re kidding right? You think I did this?”

“You didn’t?”

Flower claps Sid’s shoulder. “I appreciate the vote of confidence but no. We hired this guy that someone recommended to us and I don’t think I’ll ever hang a Christmas decoration by myself again.”

“That good, huh?”

Flower stuffs a too-big bite of turkey into his mouth before motioning around the house.

“Yeah, you have a point.”

“I can get you his number if you want. Nice guy and he knows hockey. Big Russian dude. I don’t know where he learned to do all of this and I don’t care. All I care about is that it made Vero and kids happy and I didn’t have to break anything getting any of it up.”

Sid cocks a grin. “Yeah, okay. I’ll let you know.”

Sid is sweaty and annoyed.

After walking around his house all morning the day after Flower’s party, he decided fuck it and dragged out the tree and few strands of lights he could find in his closet.

Everything is a disaster. The artificial tree is losing more needles than it’s actually retaining and it keeps leaning no matter what Sid does. He put three strands of lights on the tree before thinking to plug them in only to find that half of the first strand won’t light up, the second strand blinks and the third strand is only red and green.

He says a lot of words, none of them nice, before abandoning the tree to try to wrap the remaining strand of lights around the stair banister. It stretches approximately five steps up and it’s not until he gets to that point that he realizes there’s nowhere even remotely close to plug it in.

Just fuck everything.

He gives up and calls Flower.

The russian man, Geno, seems a little surprised at all that Sid wants done with so little time until Christmas but he is confident he can do it and agrees to come out later in the day to do a “walk around.” Whatever that means.

As it turns out, “walk around” means exactly that. They walk around Sid’s property, both inside and out, and Geno asks Sid a lot of questions to try to determine what he likes while jotting notes into a little notebook.

Sid gets a little frustrated because he doesn’t really know what he likes in terms of decorations. It’s more about how it makes him feel but he doesn’t know how to explain that and he probably wouldn’t explain it to this man he just met even if he could. So he sticks with what he knows about his style in general.

“Simple.”

“Simple. Okay, can work with that.” He leads Sid to the center of the front yard, facing the house. “Okay, if you can picture. What if we do…” And he describes a display that would probably make Sid’s house look like it belongs on the cover of a magazine. And Sid is sure it would be beautiful but…

“Sid? You not like idea?”

“No, it’s not that! It sounds really nice. I just…” Sid looks around his yard.

“Is okay to tell me. Won’t hurt feelings.” Geno offers him up a soft smile. “Your house. Need to like how it looks.”

Sid smiles back and takes a deep breath. “I...yeah. And it does sound really nice but maybe a little, I don’t know...sterile?”

Geno nods. “Can work with that. You want simple but not impersonal?”

“Something like that, yeah.” Sid gives Geno a sheepish smile.

“Okay, I have idea. Let’s go inside where warm, let me walk through again and then I have another question or two for you and show you some pictures. Might help with ideas.”

“That would be great.”

They head in and Sid walks through with Geno again, wondering what it is about his house that has Geno looking so thoughtful and jotting down notes here and there.

They circle back around to Sid’s kitchen. “Would you like some coffee or tea? Or, I think I have some juice.”

“Tea is great,” Geno says, looking around again before his eyes land on the bouquet of flowers on Sid’s kitchen table. He’s taken to buying fresh ones for the kitchen and living room every week. He kind of likes how all the different colors seem to brighten things up. “We sit at table?”

“Yeah, sure. Go ahead. I’ll be right there.”

Once the tea is made and they’re settled, Geno flips through his notebook again. “You say you really like Marc’s house when you see. What did you like about it?”

“Oh wow. Well…” Sid trails off and thinks for a moment. “I guess I liked that it all seemed so, I don’t know. Warm...and friendly. I liked the blue. And even though there was a lot, it didn’t seem too busy, you know? I guess I liked that it was unique without looking like three thousand boxes of lights threw up on the house.”

Geno grins. “Right. Better check that idea off list.” He makes a show of making a mark on an empty notebook page and Sid laughs.

“I know you wouldn’t do anything tacky like that.”

“I do what client want. But if I get own preference? I try to avoid that.”

“I’m sorry if I’m being too difficult.”

Geno shakes his head. “You not. Really. Trust me, this nothing. Besides, think I’m start to get idea about what you may like.”

“Yeah?”

“What do you think about lots of colors? If do carefully?”

Sid turns that over in his mind for a moment. It makes him think about the lights on the tree when he was growing up, always multi colored and twinkling. He smiles. “I like that.”

“Ok good! Good place to start. Now,” he pulls the tablet forward again and opens up an album. “You scroll through these? Your house will have own unique look but might give some idea of things you like.”

Sid nods and pulls his chair around a little so he can point things out to Geno. He flips through and mentions various things that he likes (and a few he really doesn’t) until he gets to a picture of the most beautiful tree he’s ever seen. It’s very simple, with muted multi colored lights that somehow seem to give off an almost soft purple-blue hue even though there are several colors on the strands. The ornaments don’t match—they just seem like a hodgepodge of random things but Sid loves that. Off to the side, he can see the end of a banister wrapped in evergreen garland and the same lights as the tree. He can see the end of what appears to be a rumpled blanket balled on the sofa and there’s a dog flopped down on top of a house slipper. And this—he loves this.

He doesn’t realize he’s smiling until Geno says, “What you see that make you smile like that?”

Sid turns the tablet around and Geno lets out a soft snort of laughter.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing wrong. Just—that my house. Not professional photo, just one I snap to show that type of light. Sam almost ruin picture.”

“Sam?”

“My dog. Very goofy but love him anyway.” Geno grins.

“No way. My dog’s name is Sam, too!”

Geno glances around looking a little confused.

“Oh. She’s in Nova Scotia with my parents. I’m away too much to have her here.”

“Must be big bummer.”

“Yeah, it is. She’s the best.” Sidney smiles fondly, thinking of her and wishing not for the first or last time that she could be here with him.

“Best name for best dogs.” Geno winks at him and Sidney can’t help laughing.

“Okay, let’s talk about what you like.”

So they do and it takes another hour but when Sid sees Geno to the door, Geno has created a detailed plan and has set up a time to come back the next day to get everything started.

Sidney loves the way his house looks.

He really, really loves it.

Somehow Geno managed to figure out what Sid would like when Sid himself didn’t even know. Every single part-the yard, the trim, the tree, the inside decorations—all of it is so perfect and Sid happily forks over every penny he owes Geno along with a generous tip.

Sid doesn’t think it’s too much to also send him Pens tickets and a Pens collar and toy for his Sam.

When the holiday season is over, Sid hires Geno to redesign his landscaping.

In April he calls on Geno to redesign the front to include spring flowers.

The holiday lights, the landscaping, the flowers—that stuff still doesn’t give him the feeling he’s looking for in his house but he likes it and maybe he’s imagining it but he feels like he’s a little closer to it every time.

In late May Geno calls Sid outside to show him the end results of the project he just finished up—changes to the trees and some new planters. Once he’s sure Sid’s happy with the results, he nods and squares his shoulders but just as he opens his mouth to talk, Sid speaks instead. “I was thinking maybe when fall rolls around, we could do something new again.”

Geno frowns and doesn’t hide it in time.

“I, or... no?”

“Can wait five minutes before you hire me again, Sid?” He looks a little flustered and Sid flushes deeply.

“Oh. I—sorry? I just thought, um. I didn’t realize you didn’t want... That’s okay. I won’t bug you again. Thanks again, though. For all this. I…” Sid trails off, not understanding the sting he feels in his chest but wanting very much for this moment to be over.

Geno huffs. “Sid, not care you hire me so much, just need you to wait five minutes because I can’t ask out client and if you hire me right away you still client.”

Sid’s head snaps up, eyes wide as he meets Geno’s. It takes him a few long seconds to comprehend what Geno said but then—“You’re asking me out?”

Geno steps closer with a soft smile. “Want to, if you want, too. If you say no, that okay too. I just want to for awhile now and won’t know until I try, yes?”

And that—Sidney knows he’s still blushing but he doesn’t care much. He offers up a soft smile and slight nod. “Yeah. For sure.”

“Sid, would like to take you out sometime. You want?”

“Yes.”

It’s almost Christmas again and it’s a rare night off for Sid. They spent the evening cooking dinner and then eating together in Sid’s kitchen. Now they’re sitting together on the couch, Geno’s legs stretched out with Sid tucked close against him. Geno’s turned on all the Christmas lights and turned off all the rest of the lights because he knows how much Sid likes that. He went multi color again this year but this year, Sid didn’t hire Geno.

This year, they did it together.

Sid glances around in the dim light with a smile. From where he’s sitting he can see a hoodie of Geno’s slung on the other end of the couch they’re sitting on. There’s a book on the coffee table that Geno’s been reading and they’re covered up with a blanket that Geno’s Mom made for him several years ago.

There are a few dog toys scattered around and Geno’s Sam is sleeping on his side in front of the tree, body sprawled on top of one of Sid’s slippers. Sid’s Sam is right next to him, curled up around his head.

In between one breath and another, Sid realizes he hasn’t felt anything lacking for a long time.

Sid nestles closer into Geno and smiles wider. He’s finally home.

#my fic #sidgeno #Home for the Holiday #Hallmark fluff #ficlet

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