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aahsokaatano · 5 years ago

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ITALY????

Y’all I spent one whole week in Italy in 2017 and it was one of the most bizarre fucking weeks of my life

let’s break it down from the beginning

[under a read more for length]

So, fall of 2017 I was studying abroad in London. One of the classes I was taking was specifically for study abroad students, designed to get us engaging in the culture of London or whatever i dont really remember the class itself but my god do i remember the people i met in it

two in particular were these girls, also American. We shall call them Molly and Ally. They had quickly made friends with each other, and after one of the class trips into London, i was friendly with them as well. The “reading week” or fall break was coming up, and they mentioned that they were going to Italy and asked if I wanted to go. I had booked a short tour to Dover, but thought “oh my god Italy???? Fuck yes!” and so I bought my plane tickets then asked them where they had booked hotel rooms so that I could add myself to their itinerary

“Oh,” Molly said, “we haven’t, don’t worry about it”

Me, a seasoned traveler “?????? uh”

I bugged them about this for at LEAST a week and finally, about THREE DAYS from when we were supposed to leave, I just went ahead and booked an assortment of hostels and airbnbs for us in all the cities they wanted to go to and told them to pay me back later

they actually admitted afterwards that that had been a smart move on my part which like????? no SHIT its a smart move to have a plan where you’re gonna sleep every night while in a foreign country. god.

So, lets go through this day by day

Day 1 - London to Milan

we flew from London to Milan in the evening, getting there pretty late at night. and it was only once we were actually IN Italy that I learned that 1) none of us spoke Italian and 2) despite having grown up in two areas with large Hispanic populations, neither Molly or Ally spoke a lick of Spanish, which is close enough to Italian that you can kind of limp through a conversation of one if you know the other.

so, somehow, I ended up being our Italian translator for the week, armed with nothing but a translator website, a handful of Italian music terms, and the ability to roll my r’s fairly well for a white person. Literally, i figured out where the bus stop was outside of the airport because I saw the word “fermata” painted on the pavement and I knew that meant “long pause” in sheet music terms so I hazarded a guess it meant stop or similar in regular Italian

(sidenote I almost got in a fight with some random Italian dude on the bus because Molly was going on about how excited she was to try the pizza and I told her it wasn’t going to be the same because “the pizza you’re used to is an American invention” and he turned around and started going on about the tradition of pizza in Italy and I was like I just mean that American pizza is different from real Italian pizza i did not mean to offend i’m sorry!!!!!! anyways)

the bus dropped us in a square in the middle of Milan and we got out and i’m lookin at my airbnb app trying to figure out where we need to go and i said “okay we need to get a cab” and Molly and Ally are arguing about something and this RANDOM ASS DUDE walks up to us and is like “you need taxi?” and i said yes to he leads us back to his REGULAR ASS CAR, NOT A TAXI and tells us to get in, and for some unknown fucking reason I do and Molly and Ally follow me and shut up real fast because this is sketchy as fuck but the guy did take us to the airbnb without murdering us so thats a win i guess

The airbnb by the way was more like a mini hostel - it was this apartment where pretty much every room except the bathroom had been converted into a bedroom and so probably not entirely legal but whatever. whatever.

Day 2 - Milan to Venice

i woke up early the next morning and went to take a shower at the bathroom at the end of the hall and found out that the lights didn’t work. Whatever, I’m mostly blind without my glasses anyways so i just showered in the dark, no biggie

we had an early bus to catch from Milan to Venice, so we headed out to the bus station. I’ll be honest, I do not remember how we got there. I think we walked, because I ended up with a coffee at some point so I probably got it from some cafe on the way? But idk. I was so tired.

We get on the bus, I found two empty seats far away from Molly and Ally, and immediately stretched out and fell asleep.

Ally woke me a little later and said “c’mon, we’re here!”

I was confused as all hell because it had not been nearly long enough for us to get all the way to Venice, but I got off the bus and was greeted by Molly stretching her arms out and proclaiming “Welcome to Venice!” underneath a sign that said we were at the Verona bus station.

They did not believe me when I said Verona and Venice were two different places. “Venice has canals, Verona is where Romeo & Juliet is set. There are no canals in R&J, they’re two different places!” I literally had to pull out my phone, go to google maps, and zoom out until they could see that Venice was still several hours away before they believed me.

The bus driver almost didn’t let us back on but I was able to show him on the tickets that our end destination was, in fact, Venice.

Venice itself was pretty neat. We got to go on a gondola ride and I ate an entire pizza by myself at dinner lmao.

Day 3 - Venice to Florence

we took a train from Venice to Florence the next morning, and that’s when I discovered that Italian train stations have lovely little cafes with AMAZING coffee and really good pastries. The other two didn’t drink coffee but like, their loss. it was fantastic.

Florence was great, we found a little shop that sold really yummy gelato for only 1 Euro a scoop - Geletaria La Carraia. If you ever end up in Florence, definitely check it out!

We wandered around for a while, took a lot of pictures. There was some famous church that was undergoing some renovations, but as we walked up to it Molly gasped and said “I’ve climbed that in Assassin’s Creed!” which was pretty funny.

We went to a museum that had made a bunch of models of some of Leonardo DaVinci’s inventions. We went to an art museum and stumbled across Michaelangelo’s David on accident, so that was the big “wtf” moment of the day. Also that night Molly decided to buy a bottle of wine to take home to a friend of her’s back in America, but realized after buying it that her backpack wasn’t big enough to cart it around for the rest of the week so I ended up carrying an entire fucking bottle of wine for the rest of the trip because I was the only one smart enough to bring a proper backpacking backpack and not just my school bag.

Also the hostel we were in had actual skeleton keys for their rooms and actual goddamn keyholes that one could clearly see through so i left the key in the lock all night AND hung my sweatshirt from the door handle so that no one could peek in at us

Day 4 - Florence to Pisa

once again, I woke up early, went into the bathroom attached to our room (the hostel had had a cancellation and so we ended up in a private room instead of a dorm style) and discovered that the lights didn’t work so I had a second shower in the dark

we took another train from Florence to Pisa, and there we ran into our only bit of bad weather

What’s the big draw in Pisa? The Leaning Tower, right?

What was the only day it rained, non-fucking-stop, the entire time we were in Italy? THE DAY WE WERE IN PISA

I got so soaked that I actually bought a new sweatshirt because the one I was wearing was DRIPPING

anyways, after we had taken several dumb touristy pictures and grabbed an early dinner at a nearby restaurant, we decided to head over to the room I had booked. The cheapest place I could find was a tiny cabin at a campground nearby. According to the map on my phone, it was a short walk away.

A solid hour later, we finally trudged up to the main office of the campground, shivering and soaked, and got the keys to our cabin. We set our stuff down, and Ally and Molly decided to go back out to the grocery store we had passed coming in. I waved them off and went to take a shower in the bathroom with fully functioning lights! hooray!

Day 5 - Pisa to Rome

another morning, another train station with excellent coffee. We got into Rome and, at this point, we were all so tired from travelling that I was finally able to take charge. up until this point, Molly had been railroading us, even sort of bullying Ally in the process, but now she was exhausted and I, through a combination of practice in functioning while dead on my feet, lots of travel experience, and Mom Friend Instincts, took the reins. We got to Rome and I said “we’re going to the church with the big hole in the roof (its a thing, look it up) and then we’re going to eat.... at this place around the corner and then we’re going to to go our hostel and check in”

they didn’t argue, and that’s a true testament to how fucking tired the two of them were, especially Molly, because she would argue about anything and everything given half a chance. We also went to the military museum that day, mostly because it was free and also air conditioned

(also while looking through my pictures of this trip i just discovered that i still have the picture i took of the Rome hostel FAQ page that had by the front desk, which i now remember i did because it had the wifi password on it and we weren’t in our room for 30 seconds before one of the other two asked what the wifi password was so, once again, i show that i am a very good traveler/travelling buddy)

Day 6 - Rome

so we had the next full day in Rome, and we got up early to get in line for the Vatican. I wanted to be there by 7am, Molly was like “it doesn’t even open until 9!” and we compromised at 8 and it was STILL an enormous line so i was like “see? this is why i wanted to get here early”

Oh, but before we went to the Vatican, i took a shower. IN. THE. DARK. BECAUSE ALL OF ITALY EXCEPT FOR PISA DECIDED THAT I DIDN’T DESERVE TO HAVE A SHOWER WHERE I DIDN’T HAVE TO FUMBLE AROUND BLINDLY LIKE AN ASSHOLE

ALSO on the way to the Vatican, I asked if the two of them had their passports. Ally said yes. Molly said yes, why?

And I had to then explain to Molly, a 20 year old RELIGIOUS STUDIES MAJOR, who was RAISED CATHOLIC and who had FAMILY IN THE CLERGY, that the Vatican, THE CENTER OF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH, is it’s own country.

she, again, did not believe me until i pulled it up on google for her

turned out that we didn’t need our passports stamped to enter the Vatican but still! still!!!!!

so it turned out that whatever day we were there on, the Sistine Chapel isn’t open that day, so we just walked through the cathedral and then headed out to the Colosseum and the ruins of the Senate behind it, both of which were very cool

Day 7 - Rome to Milan to London

we got up even EARLIER on our last day, I took another shower in the dark, and we rushed over to the Vatican, speedwalked through most of the museum, and finally got into the Sistine Chapel, which was absolutely breathtaking. Then we hauled ass back to the train station to catch our train back to Milan.

At this point in the trip, I was so fucking done with the two of them, but especially Molly. Ally was sweet and naive, but she was also willing to listen to new information. Molly was just a stubborn ass with a mean streak a mile wide and I was COMPLETELY done associating with her.

Luckily, since I had booked my flights separately, while we had flown into Milan on the same plane, I had a completely different flight back to London - to a different airport, even. They were going back to London City, but I was heading to London Gatwick. Both planes were set to depart around the same time, from two gates that were next to each other though, so i couldn’t really escape them until - uh oh! My flight was delayed.

Molly and Ally were fretting about it but i was like “it’s fine. it’s fine. I’ve been flying since i was literally 3 months old and I s o m e h o w know more Italian AND Spanish than the two of you combined, even though I would never say that I speak EITHER of those languages. Just go.”

The flight ended up being delayed like 5 hours due to mechanical issues. They finally just got another plane for us, and we finally took off from Milan. When we went over Paris, the captain, obviously feeling bad about the delay, made sure to tilt the plane in both directions so that everyone could see the Eiffel Tower lit up, it was really neat.

We finally got back to London at literally like 230 in the morning. The busses and some of the trains weren’t even running at that point - certainly not all the way out to the fancy little liberal arts college I was going to. I went up to some security guard at the airport and said “just tell me how close I can get to the University of Roehampton on the trains” and he told me to take the train to Black Friars so I got out there and there was a bus, but it was like 40 minutes out. It’s now pass 3am, I am exhausted after a long, weird week in Italy, I texted my dad and he said “just get an Uber i’ll pay for it”

The Uber driver was very nice and as soon as I got in he said “you look really cold! do you want the heat on?” i could have fucking kissed him. he was super nice. actually made sure that I was still texting my dad (i had mentioned it when I got in because I almost dropped my bag while trying to text and maneuver at the same time) every few minutes. offered to let me take and send a picture of him to my dad. otherwise didn’t really speak and just let the music play. I tipped him literally whatever was in my pocket at that time, i don’t remember how much it was, but it was at least 20% and probably more. Really great guy.

Random London Uber driver from 2017, you remain the best Uber driver and I love you

i finally crawled into my shitty little dorm bed at about 4am, exhausted and utterly bewildered by the past week

honestly??? I’m still bewildered by my week in Italy.

wtf even happened in all that mess.

#italy #venice #florence #rome #pisa #tales from the hill #chris #thebubbledragon

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hotshotshitshow · 6 years ago

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i guess just because ive been on a roll lately and also oversharing is my lifelong passion i want to verbal diarrhea a lil bit about my own experience of coming to the conclusion that im a lesbian so pls feel free to ignore if u want or whatever i just have Lots Of Thoughts and i just want to get them out. this gets sort of weirdly long winded and shouty and ranty so im sorry. catharsis!

even now i still feel some level of .... idk? shame? regret? i dunno. about the fact that i didnt come to the conclusion that i was a lesbian until i was 25 bc that feels so late to me even though i know for a fact that there are countless other people who came to similar realizations about themselves when they were much older than me.

and ngl there is even a little bit of envy that there are so many kids so much younger than me who seem so sure of their identities (even though i know there are loads of kids who arent sure!!!) and there are moments where i catch myself thinking of myself as “less of a lesbian” because i didnt allow myself to face the fact that i was one until fairly recently ..... and i am still learning so much and trying to cultivate my own identity and just all around see myself as “less experienced” (whatever the fuck thats supposed to mean) than others which undoubtedly is a part of the massive chasm that all my self confidence gets sucked into daily.

but like obviously its not like just BOOM one day i was like “from here on out i am a lesbian now!!!!!!! :)” bc even from a very young age i was always more drawn to women and could not wrap my head around the idea that someday i would have to marry a man and completely idealized my mom’s best friend who was a big burly woman who drove a truck and wore flannels and knew that i wanted to be just like her when i grew up and never ever marry a dude (which in retrospect was sort of weird because my mom usually hates women like that and i grew up with her periodically warning me to “stay away from fucking dykes theyre mean awful ugly women”)

and then the always confusing for everyone period of middle school where i dated a boy for three days before breaking it off because the whole situation gave me more anxiety than i could deal with but i just chalked it up to me being an emotionally immature teen but also being completely obsessed with my best girl friend and wanting to impress her and have her attention all the time and being unable to understand why i was so upset when she started dating some guy and me just assuming that i was upset because i had a crush on him that id never realized i had before

and then id go home and spend hours online looking up content for my favorite shoujo-ai anime ships and talking with other wlw on the gaiaonline guild forums and asking them questions about how you knew if you were gay or not and if liking almost exclusively girl/girl ships meant you were gay and only being told in response “plenty of heterosexual girls like girl/girl ships!! youre the only one who can tell if youre gay or not!! :)” and just feeling completely confused and alone and having no idea what to think!!!! and then having one day that i remember very specifically where i had a shining moment of clarity for all of half an hour where i thought “i AM a lesbian!!!” and feeling so happy in that moment before my brain took over with the thoughts of “but what if you come across one particular guy sometime...... can’t rule out that possibility” but i knew i really wanted to be a lesbian but just could not allow myself to think i was one

and then fast forwarding up to undergrad where i briefly dated an online guy friend (hi) for like. a month? and then abruptly breaking that off in the worst way possible because i had no fucking clue what i was doing and once again chalked it all up to being emotionally immature and from that moment out identified as aromantic because i figured there was something fucking wrong with me and romance was just not something i could do!!!!! and thinking there was absolutely no fucking way i could be a lesbian and it was completely not even remotely an option because there were certain aesthetic things about men that i appreciated and also never once having had a “proper crush” on anyone or at least not one that i could identify because everyone always talked about love feeling like fireworks and something big and id never felt that for anyone ever so obviously that meant i was incapable of love!!!! so i shoved the whole notion of trying to figure myself out way way way down and didnt look at it for years afterwards

until i got into graduate school and for some fucking reason my brain decided it was time to dig all that old shit back up and i SUDDENLY COULD NOT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT AGAIN SCREAMS. and feeling more attracted to women than ever even though i always knew that i liked women

and i still couldnt entertain the idea that i might be a lesbian because even though id been in a very happy relationship with beansly for a few years at that point and knew for a fact i was not aromantic there was still that thought of “Ok But What If You Meet One Guy Sometime”

and this sounds dumb as fuck but it wasnt until beansly straight up told me “if i had to label you id think you were a lesbian” that my brain went “what if theyre right” (TO WHICH I IMMEDIATELY WENT NOPE but acknowledged that the fact that they called me that made me feel really really good) (but kept thinking about that and kept bringing it back up to myself and ruminating over and over and over it) and then even more dumb as fuck i couldnt admit it to myself until i saw a fucking tumblr post that had something to the effect of “a common thing for lesbians who dont know theyre lesbians yet is that they really want to be a lesbian. its ok to be a lesbian” AND THEN I FUCKING CRIED LIKE A LITTLE FUCKING BABY AND HID UNDER MY BLANKIES but the fucking relief and validation my dude but then being presented with a whole new heap of Problems such as “how the fuck do i come out to people. everyone will think i am faking and Not Enough” and just having to deal with the struggle of owning that label and allowing myself to feel good about it and not let my brain convince me that i am somehow unworthy. and i am completely worthy because i love women and not men and thats the one fucking qualification i need to meet so my brain can go fuck itself into oblivion. ive spent so much time worrying over how much of myself i owe to men and holding myself back for a man that does not exist and will never exist and part of why i keep excitedly bringing up the fact that im a huge fucking lesbian is because in my mind its a huge testament to my personal progress and taking ownership over myself and no longer holding myself back over hypotheticals

so yeah anyway at the end of the day i still have so much more growing i need to do and i still see myself as a small shakey little chihuahua with a big mouth but i am a damn stronger person than i was even a year ago!!!! and learning that your attraction and what label you identify with is supposed to make you feel good was one of the best things i ever learned. i just really wish i could have had the self awareness or at least resources that i have now when i was younger and could have figured it out a little sooner. i know it doesnt make me “lesser” and technically i am still a very young person and have my whole life ahead of me but. idk i just wish id had it in me to be more honest with myself sooner. idk how other people can be so sure of themselves when they are so much younger. that just wasnt me i guess

#so i made a post about it

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survivormetaverse · 4 years ago

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Episode 10 - "I've been channeling Raffy's chaos and messy style" ~Amy

Colin survived omg omg. I went on call with him after tribal council and I smoothed things over with us. So I'm like the only person he's not hating right now. Also I literally told Colin everything. I told him exactly what happened which is so awkward if anyone finds out I tolf him that they all backstabbed him. Also Elle cannot be trusted!! Why would she do this? She's probably working with Colin and at this point I'm ok with voting off Elle. She really backstabbed the entire plan. Also Elle's idol is gone so it would be easy. BUT, we need to rid of the advantages that remain. There's not any time to get off people I don't trust. We need to expose every last idol we can. Also I know Brayden has an idol and I'm working with him but I might have to backstab that guy because if he makes it to final tribal council with an idol that will be big on his resume. Honestly Brayden will be seen as the most popular social player so that will look really good compared to me. So I might have to backstab my best friend before the time runs out.

Wtf was that tribal. Literally besides Colin, the only person left out of the vote and lied to by my own partner. Just when i thought things were looking up for me in this game, the rug gets pulled from underneath me again. I literally dont feel like i can trust any of them but for the sake of playing nice, I have to pretend that everything is fine and be a fake bitch for a day or two. Ugh 😑

I understand Colin is probably really upset and hurt because he felt personally close with me, but I don’t understand why my reasons for not saving him weren’t valid. When he tried to save Dennis, it rubbed HIMYM the wrong way and I didn’t want to betray 5 people for 1 person the same way he did that because it’s what gave everyone distrust. He said he didn’t tell anyone about HIMYM until after he heard his name, but that’s a lie as Josh and Jay both heard of it by round 8. I said that and then he said “well that’s still one person”. It’s more than one and even then, one person is one person. You gave us a reason to distrust you and that’s why you were targeted. I never told anyone about his SWP because I didn’t want to give him a reason to tell others I’m not trustworthy or for him to target me with. Ultimately, of course I knew Jay wasn’t going to send me out, but there was a real concern that Babs had an idol and that between me and Anastasia, I would go. So yeah, my concerns were indeed valid as it could’ve gone to a point where I go. I really want immunity this round. So bad. But if it’s not me I’ll be ok with my allies having it. But please I want immunity!!!

[this was earlier, but put it wherever✨] Sooooo so much drama these days, I used to be in an alliance with Jay, Brayden, and Anastasia but they're all in a megasix alliance except Jay is relatively new bc they swapped him out for Colin recently, Jay is completely in Jodi's pocket and RIP honestly bc I was hope our little Corn Tribe (we're both from Ohio lol) would make it far, Colin and I are firmly allies now and we have an alliance with Amy (who is currently Colin's no. 1 ally and I respect that she risked it all for him lol understandable) and are goin to make another one with Josh. Josh and I are allies and I trust him a lot partially bc ppl lied to him almost as much as ppl lied to me and Colin and being at the bottom is a good way to know your allies are true, they have little to gain 😂 oh and Brayden and Anastasia and I are still "allies" and idk Jay hasn't talked to me yet sooooo let's see what happens there!

I accidentally said that Josh was on the bottom out loud when I was answering him for the question who doesnt deserve to be here. Omg I literally ruined our relationship. I am sooo stupid. I literally told him i was sorry and he said K. Ok but he is on the bottom. Obviously he doesn't need me as an ally and that whole side has a plan. Omg Im ready to be blindsided lol. But also maybe dont vote out me. Josh really isnt that forgiving is he? That is crazy to me. I wouldve pretended to forgive at least. Now I feel even more awful because he never said he forgave me. Pain. Anyways I screwed up and now I'm just praying Josh doesn't gun after me now. But I did tell Josh the whole truth and apologized genuinly about the situation. Oh god I hope he doesnt hate me. I dont even want him as a jury vote I just cant take anyone hating me or disliking me. It makes me want to throw up. But I deserve to feel this way since I emberassed him infront of everyone i am so so stupid. Anyways time to plan who to get out. OMG JOSH JUST TEXTWD ME "It's fine Im on the bottom. My feelings dont matter" WHAAATTT OF COURSE HIS FEELINGS MATTWR I CANT BELOEBE IHURT HIS ACTUAL FEELINFA I AM SO STUPID WTF I AM AWFUL I WILL GO APOLOGIZE MORW NOW GOODBYE

it appears either jodi or jared are going tonight, and although they’re my allies, i selfishly don’t care. I’ll still be in the game, so that’s nice i suppose. I love jodi, but she’s paranoid and it’s a whole deal trying to work with her, if she got voted out i could maybe get some sleep every once in awhile. I love her to death, but frankly whatever happens tonight as long as it ain’t me I don’t really care. Hell, even if it is me, then whatever lol, I can get caught up on sleep then. Frankly this is where the game gets ugly, and i’m cool with staying out of the drama. it still sucks that josh hates me though, i genuinely like him, and i feel like he doesn’t want to be my friend beyond the game anymore. To me, i’m going to keep doing me. I’m gonna chill, i’m gonna relax, and i’ll play when i feel like it. My mental health is important, so even if i’m not playing as hard as others, it’s just a game. If i lose, i will not lose any sleep over it.

DAMN last tribal really killed the vibes in the game. no one wants to talk. everyone is scared of stuff getting leaked or turning on people. BUT ON THE FLIP side that means everyone is flipping on everyone SOMEHOW amy managed to escape unscathed. They have NO idea she's in with us and with them. She's telling us everything. it's actually insane to watch her do it. Truly international superspy behavior. We have our numbers and they have theirs. They made another majority alliance except they replaced me with Jay. Whatever, expected. its fine. I truly did not talk much to people before the challenge, I just laid back and let Amy gather information for us. The immunity challenge was absolutely crazy good for us. Elle winning immunity is perfect, and the fact they GAVE AMY the other immunity is also amazing, a testament to how much they do trust her. THEN THIS IS WHERE THINGS STARTED GETTING EXCITING so I still have my handy chaos idol. I was thinking about numbers and I came to the realization that we could get Jodi cirie'd out this tribal. Their side is splitting votes on Josh and I, and there's four of us. If we vote the other 4 people in that alliance and then play the chaos idol, it leaves Jodi the only one without a vote and she's automatically out. It was a huge risk but I brought this plan to Josh, Amy, and Elle. because of the touchy subjects it made me truly feel that I could trust my allies right now. I was voted "Who is your closest ally" and I'm almost certain it was those three that put me down. That means I can trust them with this plan. (I hope). Elle, however, brought up the very good point that Jodi might be idoled, it's very obvious for us to go after her. SO we also decided that we should leave no votes on Brayden and then theres a revote between the two. SO TLDR THE PLAN RN: play chaos idol and coordinate votes so there's a revote between Jodi and Brayden. Also we're telling everyone else our plan is to vote Jared, that way it's not too obvious we have shit up our sleeve. there is the prospect of them splitting the vote 3-3 and then we don't even need to use the chaos idol, we just have the numbers. The other option is they put all 6 votes on one person and then we do have to play it. Thats why its so good we have Amy as our inside source telling us everything that's going on with them. so yeah right now we're still playing it by ear. not a lot of people are online and available to we're just waiting to get it all sorted out. Updates soon! uwu

Hahahahaha omfg so after we yeeted out of last tribal and then elle used their idol apparently anastasia and jodi changed their vote to Babs so they still went home and we kept Colin's idol. We jumped back on the tribe call and it was only host Jay and Raffy left lol like we were ready for a tribe fight! But I think it turned out better because I am still getting all the info in the group. Touchy subjects was interesting and almost exposed us bc colin and jodi tied for closest allies lol which I'm sure it was like 3-3-whatever. But she said I'm the group maybe it was like 2-2-1s. So that's a relief. However. Everyone is being really quiet with me and our brayden - jodi - me alliance is silent. I'm concerned they think it is me who's leaking but from what I can tell jodi (and thus anastasia, brayden,jay, and jared automatically) believe it was elle who leaked the plan to vote colin. So idk how but I'm in the clear. I'm just waiting to be found out bc I'd be an easy vote out. BUT I think they believe I'm still with new himym because brayden chose to give me immunity in touchy subjects!! And elle got first out!! So we are both safe and the current plan for Jodi's group is to tell Colin josh and elle they are splitting but they will put all votes on josh so that colin flushes his idol. Except lol it's a chaos idol. And if that's the case colin wants me to vote him ☠️ but it actually keeps him safe so I'll do it. I would just hate for the chaos idol to be fake. I think I know where all remaining advantages are except the idol I think Jared has lol. So for the break down brayden has an idol he believes is real but is fake and he is not telling anyone in the group or jodi or me so as much as I like brayden I can't wait to see him play it and it's fake. Then Colin has Dennis's chaos idol and one more regular idol. I have the merge idol and a steal a vote. That leaves only jared's idol that we might be able to flush this go if they actually believe jared is the target from Josh elle colin. But if they don't we can leave votes off jared and jodi and we can vote out the unplayed idol or vote jodi out and her minions have to regroup. My biggest concern has been josh bc he really seems to not like me ☠️ and here I am risking it all to keep colin, elle, and josh in the game lol. So now colin elle and I have a three. Colin filled them in and they trust me. And we waited until josh calmed down bc he was really mad that I cut his rope in the challenge. Unfortunately I knew that he wasn't winning bc he's at the bottom, none of them were giving him immunity, and I needed to keep up the facade that I was with them 100% so I was guessing like everyone else on the most allies even though I knew it would be colin lol. So now colin has talked to Josh and josh knows about the chaos idol so I just hope he's 100% with us. Because if we play this right it's 4-4. And then I'm gonna have to reveal to them I have a steal a vote lol they might be upset I didn't tell them before but I've never said I didn't have anything (except to jodi whoops). Also now jodi is thinking worst case like wants me to say I'll vote out anastasia if it's a revote and also at 6. I was like "oh I'm a revote? I got you" as in if vote you out sorry girl. Listen I know I'm not winning and I know I'm not getting to the end because it would be stupid to take me at this point. I'm literally a double agent secret spy lol. However the entire jury WILL despise me but all I could hope is they respect the moves I made. But it seems like a lot of people in this game take things very personal so I really think it would be a completely bitter jury against me not that I'm getting there. I kind of don't want to use my steal a vote at 8 and hope they still think I'm with new himym because then we could simply idol where their vote is and I keep steal a vote for 6 and my idol for 5 and I'm golden lol 😂. And here I was gonna hard quit the game lol. I mean tbh they could just vote me here... Wait lol I'm immune jk thanks. Literally i think Babs is indifferent and dennis did like me but his vote would still go to colin. But if I was in f3 IMAGINE the story of have to tell lol and convince them all. It's the struggle of playing more behind the scenes but I really think someone is going to leave the info. I hope josh stays quiet until 7 when we should have numbers. Anyway all of this to say I wanted to play this game doing the absolute minimum and I'm spending hours and hours a day like copy pasting from the group to colin 😂 and now to our group. The problem is colin really believed jared when he said he'd flip and I was like colin no that's EXACTLY what he detailed he'd do in the group. And then Colin and josh were like wait anastasia and brayden may consider flipping and here I was like no y'all they are telling me / us they're saying that. Unless it's like a double play they are lying to you and that's their plan. All I can do is copy paste their exact messages and hope they believe me. I really do think they trust me bc I'm risking my life here. I just need to talk to Josh and explain the situation and I am with him not against him! Honestly this is such a great cast and they are playing very well. It'll be fun to see how it all works out. I don't think I'll be at the end but I would love to see underdogs take it. I would actually love josh elle and Colin at the end and I'd vote colin to win lol he put in work! I'd also vote anastasia to win because she has laid low so well with still having pull in the game. Idk it's a fun one that I think will blow up on me soon but I've been channeling Raffy's chaos and messy style bc I'm just here to have fun not to win actually lol. I am writing this while on a flight so I'll have updates later. Oh right our 4 group plan is to use the chaos idol and throw votes around so that like 2 or 3 people don't have votes then they are the only ones vulnerable in the revote and everyone who got votes is safe. Then we can vote either jared or jodi like that's the thing if jodi doesn't play an idol here I don't think she has one or no one is giving her one. I think my only chance to make it farther is to let the 4 group know I'm with them 100% but still keep my idol for myself hopefully until 6 or 5 but lol idk about that. Like I can see them wanting to take me out then. Okay that's all my thoughts right now.

https://youtu.be/ji7K8HkLmRY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78Ru1J0iXYA&feature=youtu.be

https://youtu.be/rVRVR2zzkPc

https://youtu.be/PAjCL7-GWV

[😬 Not me completely forgetting to send this oops here i'll add a fun quote at the beginning] Jodi is Regina George, we are the schoolbus✨ Sooooooo Colin has a chaos idol how fun for him and tbh im kinda tired so here's the voting plan and the rest you can just kinda glean: Amy - Josh Elle - Colin Josh - Anastasia Colin - Jay ~~~

Edgic:

Power Ranking:

Amy: She has managed to escape suspicion from last round. Nobody believes her to be the rat leaking things to Colin. She is in the best position in this game right now being on all sides and having every single option open to her.

Colin: King of idols. King of chaos. He has it all locked down. Has capitalized on those the Jodi side has burned. Will continue to capitalize on it. The power struglle ends here.

Elle: Mostly just floating behind Colin’s shield which is what she should be doing atm.

Josh: If he stays out of people’s periphery, he can make it far. Might be dragged to end, but could make a great pitch for himself.

Jay: Ruined his position with multiple people last round. Is sort of in the middle? Sort of not? He is definitely aligned with Anastasia and Brayden who are protecting him.

Brayden: If he betrays Jodi, he will shoot up in this ranking. Needs to become a free agent instead of being locked into an alliance.

Anastasia: If she betrays Jodi, she will shoot up in this ranking. Needs to step away from Brayden and Jay who are clouding her good judgment. She is being iced from the other side.

Jared: I don’t know why he is going to use his idol on Jodi? His loyalty to her will be his downfall.

Jodi: Seems to have accepted being voted out this round. Seems to have backed herself into a corner based on her logic. Too worried about advantages to see the right path.

#episode #episodes

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courtinggrievances · 7 years ago

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temptingannihilation

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HEY, I’M TOO BURNT OUT FROM *~*~RUNNING FROM THE...

woah what the fuck??

> Karkat; Send the log to your omniquad. You need to jam with him about this bullshit.

> Not just about the state of the log, but about.. some of the things you said in it.

Today at 1:03 PM

courtinggrievances HEY, HOW IS THE SHIT SHOOTING GOING?

eridacnis the wwhat god i evven forgot you existed

courtinggrievances THAT WAS A CONVENIANT WAY FOR ME TO ASK YOU HOW YOU'RE DOING WITHOUT SEEMING OVERLY CONCERNED OR WHATEVER, BECAUSE I'M A PIECE OF SHIT WHO DOESN'T CURRENTLY FEEL LIKE TRYING TO GIVE OFF THE IMPRESSION OF A STOIC INDIVIDUAL. ALSO THAT'S. WOW. ALRIGHT, I'M NOT GOING TO FUCKING LIE, THAT KIND OF HURTS.

eridacnis hurts less wwhen i remind you that i havve the wworst possible memory and from time to time forget im married to cas

eridacnis but also i dont think theres evver a situation wwhere im not feeling like utter shit

courtinggrievances I MEAN, I GUESS. HOLY FUCKING SHIT THOUGH, I FEEL IT. IS THERE ANY PARTICULAR REASON YOU FEEL LIKE SHIT TODAY?

eridacnis wwell this time its just nightmares hauntin me constantly and me just not bein able to sleep normally at all for the past twwo wweeks and im slowwly at the end of my nervves

courtinggrievances HOLY SHIT, YOU AND ME BOTH. WHAT ARE YOUR NIGHTMARES OF, I'M CURIOUS HONESTLY. LET'S SEE IF THEY'RE SIMILIAR TOO.

courtinggrievances MINE ARE JUST, YOU KNOW, THE CASUAL BLOODSHED AND OBLITERATION OF TROLLMANITY THAT PLAGUES NEARLY EVERY TROLLS DREAMS, BUT AS RECENT AS LAST NIGHT THEY KIND OF GOT... WORSE.

eridacnis shrug trauma dreamin of exes wwho treated me awwful failin to take care of people and things and some other i just forgot

courtinggrievances ):B

eridacnis yeah Today at 2:59 PM

eridacnis so is that all you got to say

courtinggrievances SORT OF? I JUST WANTED TO CHECK IN AND SEE HOW YOU WERE, I KNOW THINGS SUCKED EARLIER. FAR BE IT FROM ME TO ACTUALLY SHOW SOME GENUINE FUCKING CONCERN BUT, IT IS WHAT IT IS I FUCKING GUESS.

eridacnis wwell thanks for nothin then

courtinggrievances I THINK YOU MAY HAVE MISREAD THE TONE OF MY TEXT. WHAT I'M SAYING HERE IS THAT I'M SHOWING CONCERN FOR YOUR WELL-BEING EVEN THOUGH IT'S NOT IN MY NATURE TO REALLY DO SO. IT'S A TESTAMENT TO US BEING FRIENDS THAT I EVEN SAID SO, YOU KNOW?

eridacnis you showwin me your concern by sendin me a stupid sad emoticon and then fuckin off isnt gonna make me feel any better so no i dont think theres somethin i understood wwrong there

courtinggrievances ALRIGHT, SO WHAT THE FUCK WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO DO, THEN. GO INTO YOUR PAN AND STOP THE NIGHTMARES FROM OCCURRING? MY DUDE, IF I COULD DO THAT, I WOULDN'T BE HAVING SO MUCH SHIT IN MY OWN DREAMS.

courtinggrievances I'M SORRY YOUR EXES WERE SHIT, I DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANY, BUT THAT SHIT SOUNDS LIKE IT SUCKS GLOBESPHERES AND I HEAR IT HAPPENING SO MUCH ALL THE GODAMN TIME, BUT I'D LIKE TO JUST NOD MY HEAD AND LET YOU KNOW I HOLD SOME GENUINE FUCKING CONCERN FOR YOU WITHOUT IT SEEMING FAKE AS FUCK. I CAN'T EMPATHIZE BUT I SYMPATHIZE.

eridacnis yeah wwell you done evverythin you could to seem fake as all fuckin hell so good job wwith that you really suck at this

courtinggrievances THANKS FOR THE NOTE OF ENCOURAGEMENT.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE WANTING TO ACCOMPLISH BY INVALIDATING MY CONCERN, BUT IF IT WAS YOU STOPPING ME FROM REACHING OUT TO ANYONE EVER AGAIN, CONGRATU-FUCKING-LATIONS, YOU SURE FUCKING SUCCEEDED! SURE STOPPED ME FROM WANTING TO REACH OUT TO PEOPLE I CONSIDER TO BE FRIENDS!! YOU REALLY SHOWED ME!! WOW!! I'M *FUCKING* IMPRESSED!! YOU REALLY BOOSTED MY FAITH IN MYSELF OF MY CURRENT 'BE A GOOD FRIEND' CAPABILITIES!!!

I'M GLAD I COULD LEARN THAT I'M A SUCKY FRIEND TO YOU AND PROBABLY TO EVERYONE I TALK TO ABOUT HAVING **GENUINE FUCKING CONCERNED FEELINGS**, BECAUSE HEY, FOR YOUR FUCKING INFORMATION, THAT'S HOW I ASK PEOPLE HOW THEY'RE DOING WITHOUT SEEING FUCKING CLINGY, BUT YOU KNOW, WHATEVER.

I'M GLAD YOU SHOWED ME THE ERROR OF MY GODAMN WAYS!! I'LL CERTAINLY NEVER TROLL YOU AGAIN TO ASK ***HOW YOU'RE FUCKING DOING*** BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY I SUCK TENS OF THOUSANDS OF AMOUNTS AT BEING A ****GOOD FRIEND****.

THANKS!!! I'LL REMEMBER THIS. FOREVER. YOU'VE CHANGED MY LIFE.

courtinggrievances BREAKING NEWS FLASH; KARKAT "COURT" VANTAS SUCKS AT BEING A FRIEND. HIS EFFORTS AT REACHING OUT RESULT IN HIM GETTING HIS *~**~FEELINGS~~**~* HURT. MORE AT ELEVEN!!

eridacnis thanks for the slice of guilt trippin after me not bein happy wwith somethin you did to me

courtinggrievances HEY, I'M NOT GUILT TRIPPING YOU AFTER YOU INVALIDATED MY EMOTIONS AND FEELINGS AND GENERAL STATE OF BEING FRIENDS WITH YOU.

I'M TELLING YOU, STRAIGHT UP (WHILE BEING SARCASTIC AS FUCK BECAUSE THAT'S WHO I AM) THAT YOU HURT MY FEELINGS BY TELLING ME, IN NOT SO MANY WORDS, THAT YOU THINK MY CONCERN IS STUPID, THAT I DIDN'T HELP, AND THAT I SUCK AT HELPING FRIENDS SO I SHOULDN'T EVEN TRY.

eridacnis i mean you didnt evven try wwith me is all im gettin at and if a friends not wworth the effort then yeah you suck at keepin friends

eridacnis god i cant believve im the one havvin to givve you a lesson there

courtinggrievances HOW THE FUCK YOU EXPECT ME TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT DREAMS ABOUT YOUR EXES IS BEYOND ME. LIKE I SAID, I DON'T HAVE ANY, AND I SAID THAT TO AVOID THE AGE OLD ARGUMENT OF PEOPLE GOING 'YOU DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL!!' BECAUSE I FUCKING DON'T, BUT I'M STILL HERE TO TALK ABOUT IT WITH YOU.

eridacnis if someones upset you dont just send them an emoticon and leavve it at that its not that fuckin easy you talk to em try to figure out wwhat you can do for em like talkin about the shit that happened or just simply distractin em

courtinggrievances IF SOMEONE'S UPSET, I SEND THEM AN EMOTICON TO JUDGE HOW MUCH THEY WANT TO TALK. SOME FUCKS JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE.

eridacnis its sad enough that me eridan ampora has to teach you that more like you wwanted to be left alone cause you didnt care enough as soon as i said is that all you wwere like yeah thats all like if my question wwasnt enough to tell you that i awwaited more then i dont knoww wwhat to tell you buddy

courtinggrievances HOW THE FUCK DO I WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE, I'M THE ONE THAT TROLLED YOU. ALSO, I DIDN'T JUST SAY 'YEAH'. I SAID, SORT OF, AND A HUGE PARAGRAPH OF WHAT I WANTED.

eridacnis yeah you started the convversation but you cut it off too in the middle of me talkin about my problems wwhich is the most awwful fuckin thing to do

courtinggrievances I'M SORRY. I GUESS I DIDN'T REALIZE I WAS DOING THAT. TOO BLINDED BY OWN OWN FUCKERY AND HURT FEELINGS BULLSHIT TO REALIZE I STEERED THIS CONVERSATION IN A DIRECTION THAT WAS ABOUT ME. IT'S NOT FINE AND I GUESS I'LL FUCK OFF. MAYBE I'LL TRY TO SLEEP.

eridacnis yeah wwell maybe next time actually think about other people wwhen you wwanna help em oh yeah and noww you wwanna run from it great just great

courtinggrievances YOU EVER TRY TO SLEEP WITH SYMPTOMS OF A CONCUSSION? FUCKING SUCKS.

eridacnis oh no poor you all about you again

courtinggrievances HEY, NEWS FLASH, I'M NOT YOUR FUCKING MOIRAIL.

eridacnis yeah and not my friend either

courtinggrievances I WANT TO LISTEN TO YOUR PROBLEMS BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT YOU, BUT WHEN YOU GET ALL CAGEY ABOUT THEM AND TELL ME I SUCK AT LISTENING, I WANT TO LEAVE. I JUST WANTED YOU TO TELL ME ABOUT THEM!! I WAS TRYING TO STEER THE CONVERSATION INTO THE DIRECTION OF "BEING UNABLE TO SLEEP" AGAIN BUT, YOU KNOW, WHATEVER. I DIDN'T EXPECT YOU TO GO "BOO HOO YOU WHINY BRAT, YOU'RE JUST LEAVING" YOU KNOW WHAT? LET ME GO THE FULL FUCKING MILE HERE, IF I'M GOING TO MAKE THE CONVERSATION ABOUT ME.

eridacnis oh boy

courtinggrievances FIRST OFF, I'M FUCKING SORRY YOU CAN'T SEE THAT I ACTUALLY WAS TRYING TO SHOW SOME CONCERN.

I'M SORRY THAT'S A BIT HARD FOR ME, BECAUSE HONESTLY OUT OF THE (2) TWO!! PEOPLE I COME TO SEE HERE ON TUMBLR, YOU'RE PROBABLY THE ONLY!! ONE!! I ACTUALLY MAKE IT A POINT TO ASK HOW THEY'RE DOING. I'M SORRY I COULDN'T SEEM MORE ENERGETIC ABOUT SHOWING "KINDNESS" AND "COMPASSION" AND BULLSHIT LIKE THAT, I'VE GOT A WHOLE LOT OF OTHER MALARKEY ON MY PLATE RIGHT NOW!!

SPEAKING OF WHICH, LETS TALK ABOUT THAT, AND ENERGY LEVELS, WHICH IS SOMETHING I DON'T REALLY SEEM TO HAVE, WHICH IS AS I SAID, A FUCKING PROBLEM FOR ME. I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE I FUCKING CHOSE TO NOT HAVE ANY ENERGY. IT'S NOT LIKE I WANT TO HAVE ZERO ENERGY TO TALK TO MY SUPPOSED 'FRIENDS', I JUST REALLY DON'T HAVE A FUCKING CHOICE RIGHT NOW.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'VE DONE FOR THE PAST TWO PERIGEES? I'VE WALKED. I'VE WALKED THROUGH SCRUBLAND AND BRAMBLES AND ALL SORTS OF THE MOST HORRENDOUS TERRAIN YOU COULD THINK OF. AND I SAY 'WALKED' LIGHTLY, BECAUSE YOU KNOW, WE COULD BE BEING FOLLOWED, AND WE EITHER HAVE TO MAKE TRACKS QUICK OR JUST FUCKING LAY DOWN AND DIE.

THOUGH, YOU KNOW, I THINK THE DRONES HAVE THEIR SIGHTS ON OTHER THINGS, SINCE I'M FAIRLY SURE THEY THINK US DEAD SINCE THEY RAIDED OUR LAST SAFE PLACE AND BURNT IT TO THE FUCKING GROUND! BUT YOU KNOW, I WOULDN'T KNOW! I DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO THAT SHIT MUCH RIGHT NOW, MOSTLY BECAUSE I'M TOO BUSY TRYING TO KEEP TEMP FROM FREAKING OUT AND NAYA FROM BECOMING EMOTIONALLY DISTANT, KEEP THEM FROM JUST FUCKING LEAVING THE EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL DEADWEIGHT BEHIND FOR THE DRONES!!

AND YOU KNOW, I'M REAL FUCKING SORRY I CAN'T REALLY HELP YOU ABOUT THE TRAUMATIC NIGHTMARE BULLSHIT, BECAUSE, PERSONALLY, I HAVEN'T SLEPT MORE THAN SIX HOURS IN SIX DAYS, BECAUSE, HAHA!! WELL, EVERY TIME **I** CLOSE MY EYES I SEE INDIGO CLOWNS RIPPING TROLLS HEADS IN HALF BY THEIR HORNS, AND HEAR THE SOUND OF MY PANMATTER HITTING MY SKULL FROM WHEN I GOT TOSSED INTO A WALL BY AN IMPERIAL DRONE TWICE AS TALL AS I AM!! I WISH I COULD HELP YOU ABOUT YOUR EXES TOO, AND I FEEL LIKE THAT'S SOMETHING I SHOULD BE ABLE OT FUCKING DO, BUT I DON'T HAVE THE ENERGY TO PULL SOME RELATIONSHIP ADVICE OUT OF MY ASS CURRENTLY, BECAUSE YOU KNOW, I'M TOO BUSY ***RUNNING FOR MY LIFE FROM THE GODAMN EMPIRE*** OR DID YOU FUCKING FORGET THAT WAS A THING THAT WAS HAPPENING?

YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT ONE THING THOUGH, I DIDN'T SEEM LIKE I CARED, AND I KNOW IT'S ONLY AT FACE VALUE, BUT I DO, YOU KNOW? I'M SORRY, REALLY AND TRULY ACTUALLY, AND I FUCKING HATE IT, BUT I JUST DON'T APPARENTLY HAVE ENOUGH ENERGY TO CARE *~~PROPERLY**~* ABOUT MY FRIENDS, BUT HEY, AT LEAST I FUCKING TRIED, YOU KNOW? TO SEE HOW YOU WERE DOING. NOT THAT IT MATTERS MUCH BECAUSE IF I FORM ANY FRIENDSHIPS WITH ANYONE, THEY'LL PROBABLY ALL GET CULLED, HAHAH, BECAUSE I'M BURNT OUT AND FUCKING WORTHLESS AT CARING FOR MY FRIENDS, SO YOU KNOW, FUCKING WHATEVER!!

IT'S NOT LIKE YOU CARE ABOUT ME ANYWAY, YOU JUST WANT ME TO LISTEN TO YOU AND WHILE HEY, I'M ALL READY TO LISTEN, I'M REALLY JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW NICE IT WOULD BE TO CLOSE MY EYES AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT GETTING AMBUSHED AND CULLED, BUT THE LAST 'SAFE' PLACE WE WERE IN WAS LIKE FIVE FUCKING PERIGEES AGO AND IT'S REALLY!! REALLY!!! GETTING TO ME THAT I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO SEEMS TO GIVE A SHIT IF WE'RE CAUGHT, BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE SEEMS TOO FUCKING NIHILISTIC TO CARE IF I BECOME PAINT FOR THE FLAGSHIP MY OMNIQUAD WILL HELM IF THEY CATCH US.

YOURS **~*FUCKING*~* TRULY, KARKAT "RUNS HIMSELF INTO THE GROUND FROM WANTING AND FAILING TO BE ABLE TO HELP THE PEOPLE HE CONSIDERS HIS FRIENDS, ONLY THAT NUMBER IS MINUS ONE NOW SO I GUESS HE DOESN'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT FRIEND ANYMORE, BUT HE'S GOING TO BECAUSE HE'S (KARKAT, ME) AN ABSOLUTE CHUMP" VANTAS.

#temptingannihilation #hey mags look #eridacnis #read ooc #uh #somewhat graphic mention of violence #in a single instance #in the context of talking about nightmares

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captain-unlikelynutbouquet-blog · 7 years ago

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lets assume Joe (38years old) and Sally (38years old) public both work and make a total of $70,000 a year between them. They have 3 children, Todd, 15, Gwen 13, and Gina 10. They have to buy their own health insurance since their employers do not provide it. They want a plan that does the following: max $25 dollar deductible for any visit to a doctor....and then 80% of all cost after that up to an individual maximum cost per person per year of $2000 at which point the insurance will pick up 100% up to $300,000 per person per year. Dental and vision coverage is a flat 80% of all procedures after $25 deductible. If this family goes out in the market place to buy this insurance, how much will it cost them per month.""

Get a insurance quote on 2010 honda civic?

i just want to find out how much do you guys think the insurance would be for a person with the following: 1) NYC license of less than 2 years, age early 20s 2) full insurance coverage since it's new 3) registered somewhere in southern part of Staten Island 4) the car ran 2-3 red lights within the past 1 1/2 year, got camera ticketed the car is covered by AllState, i just want to find out how much is the car's insurance now, i am not the car owner, would it possibly be at 4-5k/year, since the car was ticketed a few times, thanks""

How much is car insurance for a....?

28 year old first time driver in a BMW 3 series?

What is the best car insurance?

What Is the best car insurance for 18 year old. Im driving a 99 s10 blazer.

What is the CHEAPEST CAR INSURANCE?

""Is anyone with Endsleigh for their car insurance, and has done pass plus?""

How much did you save? I am 18 and am about to buy my first car after using my mums. I did pass plus but on confused.com quote it doesn't ask if i have it. Well anyway, endsleigh is the cheapest quote but i was wondering how much i will save when they know i have pass plus?""

I'm 17 and can't find car insurance for under 2000. Does anyone have cheaper?

what car, insurance company ect? thanks :)""

Cheap car insurance provider?

Im 21 years old and looking for cheap car insurance, i have been on all the price comparison website but they are still to pricey for me.""

""Searching for car insurance, suggestions?""

I'm currently searching for a decent car insurance company. What do the great people of Yahoo Answers recommend? Do you possibly have any examples of how this car insurance company has helped you in the past? I don't know if it matters, but I live in Southern Illinois (in case region matters.) If you could throw out car insurance companies that you recommend, I'd greatly appreciate it. Please do not throw out an insurance company based on their jingle, slogan, or catchy phrase. For example, Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there! What exactly makes this company so much better than the others is what I'd like to know. Please and thank you. I appreciate all help in the great quest for insurance.""

Can you register and buy a (cheap) car with no license or insurance?

I want to know if i can register a very cheap car thats around 2,000 tops at a used car lot and buy it with no problems.What problems will i face isnt it easyier to get a cheap car like this then at a actual new dealer i have no license or insurance do i pick a dealer with in house financing the only thing they will most likely ask for is it to get registered can i do that im paying half down.?im 21 im getting my license in 2 weeks (and no i cant wait)""

Whats the cheapest car insurance company for a first time driver?

I just got my provisional license, I'm 19 and I'm looking to buy a car. Now with that car I'm also going to need insurance. My parents went to their car insurance company and said that adding me to their insurance would raise their insurance from $500 to 2,000 meaning I wold have to pay $1,500 for my part every 6 months, $3,000 a year! Is there another car insurance company that could be cheaper whether it be just me on the policy or with both my parents? I don't have a car yet because I want to see how much it would be all together. Thanks for your help!""

What car is cheapest to insure?

I'm looking for a cheap car what is kinda cheap to insure kinda in the insurance group 1 i'm looking to spend about 700-1000

Requirements for california drivers license?

how many behind the wheel professional training hours are required in the state of california in order to get a license?

16 year old insurance for a moped UK?

Hey, i'm thinking of buying a moped but before i buy one, i need to make sure that the insurance won't be too expensive otherwise i won't be able to afford it. I will basically be using the moped to get to college and back home. Any ideas as to how much insurance will cost on average? I am currently 16 years of age and will be turning 17 in December 2013. I live out of london if that helps. Thanks in advance :)""

Whats the cheapest bike insurance for a 1st time biker - 21 yrs - 125cc only CBT done?

Any gd experience to pass on? (Honda CG125)

What is the best source to compare the insurance costs for all model of cars and trucks?

I am looking for a list that has the average insurance rates for different model of cars. I need makes and models listed all together in a single source, and don't have the time to compare just 3 or four models at a time, nor go on line and check out one at a time. I need something in a spreadhsheet, or that I can cut and paste into a spreadsheet.""

What is the best health insurance for my family?

We are started to look for health insurance for our family and I was just wondering what everyones opinion was. We have 2 young children.

What is a good company for a first time car insurance?

WHat insurance company has the lowest quotes? This is my first time with car insurance and i want a company that has low cost in Florida because i don't work yet so my parents will help me pay until i can work. i have a 2001 Bravada.

Cheap insurance for (2002) BMW 3 Series for young drivers?

Hi everybody Does anyone know a cheap car insurance for BMW 1.9 - 2.0 for a young male driver? GoCompare didn't show any good deals yet , so any ideas? Any help appreciated. Thanks""

Where does it say this about car insurance in California?

I've heard on the news that it's now illegal for a car insurance company to change your rates based on where you live, at least in California if not nation wide. Does anyone know where any official documentation/websites that specific state this fact that someone could site if it becomes an issue with a particular company?""

Auto Insurance coverage -- How much Liability and Medical?

I got a couple of questions about about auto insurance coverage. Namely, what's the best amount of liability and medical coverage to select. 1) For the liability, I know it's wise to get the best liability that one can afford to cover your assets. But how about if one also gets umbrella coverage. For example, if one gets an umbrella coverage at a $2 million limit and the liability limit for the auto insuarance is $300,000 or $500,000, does it make sense to select the $500,000 or is it better to select the $300,000 limit since the umbrella coverage would kick in? 2) for medical, is this redundant coverage and not needed because wouldn't the liability portion also cover medical expenses? Or is it wise to get this, for example, if a passenger is not insured (no health insurance), so the medical part would help out in that case? Thanks.""

What is the cheapest motorcycle insurance?

The world of car insurance?

the idea that dropping the price of car insurance for men a small amount and increasing the female amount a huge hike has nothing to do with gender that's the con it's the absolute greed of government and big business hand in hand raking in a fortune as they did when changing the s p to the criminal decimal currency? the question is why do we Joe public put up with this crap

Cheapest car insurance I can get? (10 points)?

OK I know car insurance can depend on a bunch of diff factors. If I leave something out that may mean major money let me know and I'll do a quick edit. *I'm 17 *Senior in hs *A-B+ average *Had my DL for 3 months *Never been in a wreck *Never received a ticket *Took drivers ed *I have a part time job Again if there's something else I should mention just let me know. My insurance right now is $1000 every six months. It ends this month though, and I'm looking for a new insurance.""

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Health Insurance claims in LA?

How long must health insurance claims be kept on file in Louisiana hospitals and healthcare facilities?

What is an affordable private health insurance plan in California for healthy 30 year old male?

Would like peace of mind incase of hospitalization.

Auto insurance in florida?

okay heard a rumor that as of october 2007 NO auto insurance is required in the state of florida.... anyone else heard of this ?

2003 Hyundai tiburon 2dr coupe. Insurance price?

So I'm a 17 year old girl.I'm getting my first car. Idk if where I'm from makes a difference, I'm from texas. Would a 2003 Hyundai tiburon 2dr coupe be considered a sports car on the insurance? If so, how much more would it be vs. a normal car? Please help me!!!!""

How do I know if my insurance company is treating me fairly?

I was recently in an accident. The offer that my insurance company is making is much lower than NADA and Kelley Blue Book values--the insurance company is offering 9,200 and the NADA value is 11,600 (KBB is 12,500). They said that their estimate was based on the local market value and was an average of private party and dealer values. They looked within a 100-mile radius and found similar cars. They then adjusted the value to reflect the mileage of my car, but I don't know how exactly they calculated this adjusted value. I bought my car from a dealership seven months ago--shouldn't the replacement value be the retail value? Also, I had a Subaru WRX and they compared it to WRXs and to Impreza Outback Sports. I looked on autotrader.com and on other Internet resources and found WRXs that were listed much higher than the WRXs in their market report, and I don't know what to do--I don't want to spend the money for a lawyer, but I feel as if I am fighting a losing battle.""

""Insurance for 17 year old , group 5 . ARGH!?""

Im buying a saxo 1.4i Furio and its in insurance group 5 I was just looking for the best ways/insurers/policies/discounts/offers that i can get I got quoted something stupid like 3300 TPFT online for a frickan 1.4!!!! I know for a fact it goes WAYY cheaper than that seein as i know a first time driver on his own policy that drives a saxo VTR insured for under 2000! I just dont know how to go about gettin the quote below 2000 Can someone PLEASE please help me. I know i have to shop around . but i dont know where or who to go to. and what to do when i get there! Experianced advice, examples and prices you have had on similar sized engines for your first car would be a magic help! Thanks""

Cheap car insurance?????????

Hi I'm a 22 year old male I passed my test 7 1/2 months ago I got my first car it's a ford escort 1.6 yr 1999 does any one know where I can get really cheap car insurance as it will only be used to take my two kids to school thank a lot.................

""Im from the UK.Around how much would insurance cost for me a 17 yr old girl, buying a 1999-2000 toyota celica?

All helpful answers appreciated. Stupid answers are not welcome !

Goal to live without having to have life insurance in the future?

At 50 I would like to live without having life insurance. No dependents. What financial requirements in retirement accounts and cash should I have? Plan on having no mortgage. No loans of any kind. And retirment funds in check to get me $20,000 a year from age 70 to age 100. Roth Account equal to the above amount for incidentals like cars for cash and medical bills. Children or grandchildren will be beneficiaries to these accounts. Would anyone under these circumstances need to pay for life insurance?""

Insurance on motorcycle ?

It would be a Kawasaki ninja zx6r it is a 2006 and 600 cc engine.. I am 16 and live in northwestern Pennsylvania... I would get minimum coverage.. I would also be adding on to my dads car insurance plan and I would be getting a 20% discount for good driver etc. About how much do you think the insurance on it would be?thanks

Do i get the money (first and last months payment) i put down for car insurance back if i switch companies?

i bought car insurance two months back and i put a down payment first and last month payment but i would like to switch i found a cheaper insurance will i get that money back?

How much is a the monthly cost for a used car including insurance ?

I would like to buy a good used car around 6000 ..but, I would like to make a dewn payment of 1500 and get a financing for the rest .... What would be my real monthly cost ...? a friend told me that I will have to pay insurance as well ... and that it could 235 per month w/ Geico or 135 ..... Do I have to get an insurance for my car ? Do you yourself pay your car loan + insurance ? if yes, how much ..? what can I do to pay less insurance ?""

How much do you think my insurance will cost for my car?

I'm 16 and a female. I'm getting my license in a few days, and my parents are going to add me on to the insurance list. We've never had any accidents, except my dad, but someone hit him on his motorcycle, it wasn't his fault. My car will probably be made around 1998-2008. We have Allstate. What's your rough estimate?""

Cheap car insurance for a 17 year old girl?

Does anyone know of any good companies? I'm hoping to spend around 1500 (or less is possible) Directline is the closest I have come to this. The car is a 1998 Ford Fiesta Ghia 1.25L

Anyone know of cheap health insurance for college athletes?

My university requires over $1800 for health insurance (the plan that provides enough coverage for athletes) and I don't have that much money right now. Any one know of any cheap alternatives? I've looked at some healthcare plans but they seem to cost much more than 1800 dollars and that's for only around 7-8 months of coverage. Thanks!

Who is offering the cheapest car insurance?

I am 21 with 3 years NCB, need to renew my insurance shortly. I know that alot of companies are not on the comparison websites, so does anybody know anywhere that is cheaper than the comparisions?""

Motorcycle insurance?

Anyone have any idea on the cost on motorcylce insurance.. I'm 26 clean record..Thinking about getting a new yamaha cruiser 600-700cc

Will getting quote for Insurance affect my credit?

I am trying to switch to an insurance company with cheaper rate, so I have to get quotes from several. I am wondering if it will hurt my credit if everyone check my credit using my SSN? soft inquiries just like when I pull out my credit report?""

How much is car insurance for a 16 year old girl?

My dad is going to get me a car when I turn sixteen. My friend already has a truck and she is sixteen. She pays 8OO$ a year. Does that mean it could be less for me since I will be driving a car and not a truck? Or would it be around the same price? (I go through state farm.)

Maternity Health Insurance?

This is probably a weird place to ask this, but having trouble finding an answer online. I have individual health insurance, and my plan will not cover a pregnancy if conception occurs before 6 months after I add the maternity coverage. I am not currently pregnant, however I would like to begin trying before 6 months from now. Does anyone know of a health care plan that you can add maternity coverage to, and not have a waiting period for conception? For instance, if I opted for extra coverage in October and became pregnant in Dec., could I be covered?""

What car insurance company should I go with?

I am looking for the cheapest car insurance for a 19 year old who has a clean driving record

Can I buy motorcycle insurance for one month and cancel?

I'll be going away for college in a little over a month and I wanted to insure my motorcycle to I can ride it for the remainder of the summer. If I only want insurance for one month, should I just tell them that, or buy coverage with monthly payments and stop paying after the first month? Also, if I just stop paying, will this make it harder to get coverage from them in the future?""

Cat c car do i need to inform the insurance company?

when buying a cat c car does it affect the insurance and should i inform the insurance it was bought as a cat c ?

General car insurance question(s)?

Which will cost more in car insurance, generally: a passenger sedan (maybe a 1999 Honda Civic) or a pickup truck (1995 Chevrolet Silverado 1500, perhaps)? Also, if I have two trucks, both exactly the same, only, one has 2-wheel drive and one has 4-wheel drive, which will cost more in insurance? If one will infact cost more, will the difference be significant enough to matter? I live in Colorado. 4-wheel drive is desirable with the snow and ice, but if it will cost significantly more in insurance, I can't justify it.""

Can you get braces free if you have health insurance?

i want braces. can i get them free if i have health insurance

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Differences between re insurance and co insurance?

can anyone please help me with atleast 6 differences between re insurance and co insurance,and the merits and demerits of re insurance..pleasee""

Can you have be under two car insurance companies at once?

My dad is considering in buying another car(ideally for me to use) but to avoid the high cost, he wants to be listed as primary driver to both. It seems that usually when youre under one company, I will most likely be forced to be primary on one of the vehicles. So would it be possible to be under two different car insurance companies so that my dad can be primary for both or would this be considered a type of fraud or something illegal?""

What is an affordable health insurance in the quad cities area?

My boyfriend is looking for an affordable heath insurance because he was just recently lad off and he needs health insurance so i was wondering if anybody knew of any. I would get him on mine that i get though my work but i cant because we are not married. So please help me out

Bmw 1992 insurance cost?

what is the insurance cost for 1992 bmw 352i???

What is Insurance sales like?

Since I put my resume on sites like Careerbuilder and Monster I have gotten a lot of emails about insurance sales.I have been reluctant to reply to them because I am fairly young and always heard about insurance sales being boring and miserable. So I would just like to know what being an agent is like? Can you make a decent living? Is it interesting? Is it boring? What do you or a friend enjoy about it? What do you dislike about it?

Is medicaid a very low cost insurance? does medicaid pretty much stink !?

im just wondering becouse a couple of therapist have turned me down becouse of my medicaid insurance.

""What are some good, reliable cars that don't have super high insurance?""

I'm 18, responsible driver, clean record which will stay clean. Looking for another car still. Will almost positively be under 2005 and not a sporty one. I was looking into Acura Integra. But, kinda like maybe something like a Jeep Liberty (if insurance isn't high!) I will be on my parents insurance and both of them have clean records so that should lower it anyways. Would Audi A4 or a Suzuki or Kia sedan be fairly cheap?""

Can I sue Insurance company for not insuring my husband as agreed on the phone?

I didn't receive the policy and my husband drove unknowingly uninsured as a named driver. The police stopped him and took the car. Could I claim breach of contract? How much compensation would I get? What kind of solicitors should I contact - no win no fee type preferably....

What is the most affordable personal medical insurance carrier you have found?

I know that no medical insurance is cheap, especially when you have to buy a personal policy not given thru your work. But, I have to get coverage for me and my husband. We just need basic insurance I guess....Like for medical and dentist visits. Have you found a more affordable insurance carrier? Or have any advice on what to look for in a new one? Thanks!""

Camaro Insurance cost?

I know insurance is a hard to estimate on since there are so many things that determine the price but can anyone tell me about the insurance for a 2012 camaro would cost for me? or how much extra it would cost for my situation. I have a 1998 toyota 4 runner and I am a 19 year old female. No tickets or car wrecks ever. My dad is getting me a new car and I am trying to talk him into letting me get a camaro. About how much extra would it cost yearly to go from an SUV to a sports car like a camaro?

Suggestions for car insurance?

I have preferred insurance and have been paying by the year for over 5 years with this company, with no claims in over 10 years. They have raised the entire states rates, and I'm not staying with them. Any suggestions? Any reviews on that little green lizard insurance company?""

""About how much does car insurance usually cost, and how often would I have to pay for it?""

About how much does car insurance usually cost, and how often would I have to pay for it?""

How much would car insurance and Tax cost?

Im 17 and I have a decent amount of money saved up and im interested in buying a 2nd hand car for around 1000 euro but i have no idea how much the tax and insurance is going to cost and how often you have to pay it, so if anyone can help me it would be great. thx u.""

What auto insurance offices offer reduced cost auto insurance program in the San Fernando Valley?

Details below if you do not know which one I am referring to? I'm not talking about the cliche low cost auto insurance that is available to everyone. etc...I'm talking about a specific plan offered by the state of California available at some insurance offices for low income individuals. I found one office with it, it isn't close enough, does anyone know of any more offices ? The California Low Cost Automobile Insurance Program (LCA): The California Low Cost Automobile Insurance Pilot Program, created in 1999, established a low-cost automobile insurance policy for residents of Los Angeles County and the City and County of San Francisco. California Law requires that all drivers be insured. However, too many low-income drivers remain uninsured because the costs of standard auto insurance premiums are beyond their financial reach. The programs purpose is to provide low-cost automobile liability insurance to good drivers who demonstrate financial need.""

My 18 year old daughter needs cheap car insurance.?

My 18 year old daughter passed her driving test today and is struggling to find reasonably cheap insurance. She has tried all of the main players and has gone through the various comparison sites but hasn't found anything below 1700 and if she asks for monthly payments then the price goes up by 50%. Does anyone know of any companies who specialise in young new drivers, maybe who provide insurance on a three or six monthly basis? Grateful for any and all suggestions. Thank you.""

Do I need motorcycle insurance to ride off a bike at the dealership?

I meant proof of insurance while the bike (motorcycle) is paid in cash in the city of Milwaukee, state of Wisconsin?""

Do you get cheaper insurance if you drive less miles to school?

if i lie and tell them i drive barely any miles to school would it be cheaper? its 87 a month right now but imma tell them scool is like a 2 mile drive

Personal Car INsurance?

Is there a company who will insure me in a car no matter which car i drive. ie I want to get in a mates car and drive him home and am not covered by his insurance or i want to take my wifes car for the day but am not covered on hers. I need my own insurance so whichever car i get into, i will be insured in UK""

How can you get insurance on a car that is not in your name?

What steps should be taking to get insurance on a car in your name that is in a relatives name? But, you are taking over the car payments and paying them the money on a car that is still in there name.""

Cheap car insurance offers?

Hi Folks....What companies are offering good deals on car insurance these days,based on your experience.......Frederick""

50cc Scooter Insurance Help?

I'm 16 in 9 days, and I'm going to celebrate with a Peugeot V Clic Silver Sport. However, I'm going to need insurance. I live in a quiet area, and my scooter will be kept in a locked, secure garage with four other scooters. I'm also very responsible and won't be thrashing it and doing wheelies. Does anyone think this will reduce the cost of insurance?""

Car insurance for young drivers UK?

im 17 atm and passed my test last week ive been looking at car insurance for a cars but the insurance is really expensive for a 17 year old what are cheap car insurances for young drivers in the uk?

Is it worth getting full comp insurance if your car is only cheap?

""WHY the hell is motorcycle insurance SOO expensive in Ontario, Canada?""

I took identical information and filled out a progressive quote for both DETROIT and LOSANGELES and both are 2356 FULL coverage (im 16 years old with zzr600), While when i got a quote from TD Bank they said 6000$ what the f u c k my damn bike doesnt even cost that much got damn it.""

Can you get insurance after a ticket for no insurance?

so i got a ticket for speeding, and i also didnt have insurance on my car so the cop gave me two tickets one for speeding, and one for no insurance. So i went to court pleaded not guilty and didn't have insurance and got a 500 dollar ticket. then couple weeks later i got a letter saying my license will be suspended for 3 months due to illinios law for not having insurance. I was wondering if could have gotten insurance and shown it at the court date and would it have been removed?? Also is there away i can get a lawyer to have the remove the suspension or anything???""

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https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/what-benefits-being-judge-health-insurance-vacation-retirement-mays/"

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vitalmindandbody · 8 years ago

Text

Criminal or scapegoat, Shakespeare’s Shylock is a reputation to celebrate

In his contemporary change of The Merchant of Venice, Howard Jacobson set out to explore Shylocks tolerating plead , not make amends for his Jewishness

If Shakespeare is the most revelatory of columnists, it is because he has infinite symbolizes at his disposal, and can find the poem of grief or disappointment where the circumstances are least poetical. Take that stage in The Merchant of Venice in which Shylock presses his co-religionist Tubal for information of his daughter Jessicas elopement, counting the cost of her “goin ” ducats. Tubal intersperses what he knows of Jessica with what he has is aware of Antonios adversities. Carefully, he divulges out presupposition and hearsay, quantifying their effects. But eventually he must let Shylock know the worst. Jessica has been heard of in Genoa, going through the money she embezzled from her father, and exchanging a reverberate, likewise stolen from him, for a monkey.

Thou torturest me, Tubal, Shylock reacts. And genuinely we dont know whether Tubal intends torture or not. Does Shylock have to be given this agonising info at all? Is Tubal well informed the rings provenance? Whether he is or he isnt, Shylock exposes it to him now, although it was tones as much as though its to himself hes talking. It was my turquoise. I had it of Leah when I was a bachelor. I would not have given it for a wilderness of monkeys.

Whatever we have been thinking of Shylock so far, the field seems to open beneath him here , not to withdraw him but to award us rare access into his history, his antecedent affections, the man he was before he became and maybe why he became the man he is now. Just the word bachelor is a shock, because although we have experienced him with his daughter we have not in so far put our thoughts to his married, let alone his widowed state.

A Jewish patriarch, yes, who realizes his home a inferno, as patriarch are inclined to do, for his restless daughter. But a patriarch brought forward by small children without a bride to help him have we thought that one through? There is no word to say his wife is dead, but we hear it unmistakably in that deceptively plain convict, I had it of Leah when I was a bachelor-at-arms. A happening indivisible from Leah, that endowment voices, an expression of simple-minded closeness that sees Portias and Bassanios ring joke later in the romp look like shallow trumpery. We sense the loss to Shylock, anyway, without his scratching the ache of it. Detecting is not, to him, that thought of elegantly wearisome flaunt it is to Antonio and Portia.

Phoebe and Jonathan Pryce as Jessica and Shylock in a 2015 make at the Globe theatre, London. Photograph: Tristram Kenton for the Guardian

For Jessica to have embezzled the ring her baby demonstrated her papa and she would surely are all aware of its significance is a most terrible betrayal. For her to have parted with it a more terrible sellout still. But to have parted with it for a ape! There have been periods when it was fashionable for a magnificent maiden to dandle a domesticated monkey on her lap or parade with it on a studded rein. Whether that was the case in Genoa the play doesnt tell. Whatever her motivating, the grossness of the transaction is of a style Jessica, the Jewish daughter of Jewish father, should have been alive to. I would not have given it for a wilderness of apes, Shylock adds. What a fine Hebraism is showed in this formulation! William Hazlitt memorandum. No doubt he sounded the Old Testament in that parole wilderness for behind the Mosaic project to civilise and codify, the wilderness was always waiting to seduce and reclaim the natural being. To a people who thoughts God as a philosophical sentiment, never to be identified or encountered, least of all to be confused with the animal deities worshipped abroad , nothing utters the antithesis to civilisation more competently than the unbridled stomach of an ape. A wilderness is a desolate target. A wilderness of apes is a flesh for the despair of the human rights mettle when faithfulness and reward have absconded it.

It is not, nonetheless, the last string of the scene. Tubal bars Shylocks sorrow with better information. But Antonio is certainly undone. And it does the maneuver. Nay, thats true-life, thats very true, Shylock refutes. Go, Tubal, fee me an officer …

So its back to the viciou business of manufacturing Antonio pay. The gambling will have its act and Shylock will have his pound of flesh.

To someone determined to read The Merchant of Venice as a Jew-hating play, this scotches any debate that Shakespeare is of Shylocks party. Yes, Shylock is awarded an illuminating instant of humanity that, after all, is what Shakespeare does: every scoundrel has his enunciate but thereafter, and by his own choose, the Jew quickly returns to the engrossing Jewish occupancy of requital.

That, however, is to say no more than that The Merchant of Venice is a gambling not a exposition, and that we would not expect Shylock to be sentimentalised. He does not become, by virtue of what we have learned, a man forgiven and illustrated. But nor, in my view of the performance, is it possible to return unchanged to all we previously thought. Our feel of who he is should always have been evolving regardless, and we cannot escape our new knowledge of him as a husband who had and lost a wife, and can now be said to have had and lost a daughter. He has been cruelly burgled in a double sense, and the sneering offenders are all indulgent the group of friends of Antonio. This nothing extenuates, but once “weve heard” Shylock narrated his losings, ducats and all, we cannot forget them unless we have our own intellects to.

Two stages after the wilderness of apes, Shylock has animals on his head again. Thou calledst me bird-dog before thou had a crusade, he reminds Antonio, But since I am a pup, beware my fangs. So, yes, though all thats feral disheartens and demoralises him, he will put on a feral disposition in an act that is a sort of obstinacy against himself as well as Antonio. The wilful hardening of centres a reference establishing himself impervious to ground or affection, and so less human than he actually is interests Shakespeare. We see it in Coriolanus. We see it in Lady Macbeth. We even see it, although it was gloomed by clowning, in Hamlet. One human in his time gamblings numerous parts, and one of those components will be his own feeling of who he is or would like or has no choice but to be. The narration Shakespeare tells of Shylock is of a soul who diminishes into the extremely obduracy of irritation he is accused of by those who want him to be nothing else. It is a part that not every man could master, and Shylock notices the wherewithal within to participate it right enough, but being the Jew who must have his pound of flesh is still just as much a capitulation to an expected capacity as it is an expression of something invariable in his character.

I dont say this, as a fellow Jew, to save Shylock from his Jewishness. I simply recount the performance. When “its been” made publicly available by my publishers that I had hot-headedly taken up current challenges to write a contemporary romance in The Merchant of Venice, some cynics premised I would be embarking on a clean-up errand with the aim of reaching removing piquing fabric from Shakespeare, much as those who disapprove of Cecil Rhodes would eliminate his statue from wherever it stands. But I am not, as a Jew or as anything else, piqued by a word Shakespeare wrote.

Howard Jacobson at his home in Soho, London. Photograph: Richard Saker for the Observer

My Shylock, if I may employ it like that and he is the Shylock I see when I speak Shakespeares play is not intended as a post-Holocaust better on the original. Because I am deeply touched by his extending reference to his wife, I guess him in constant speech with her. The dead have much to say, just as the living have much they want to hear, and Shylock wont be the first person to have continued those discussions. Astonished by exhilaration impatient as the Wind/ I turned to share the transport Oh! with whom/ But Thee, long buried in the silent Tomb. If this is a freedom and does the participate a progressive disservice I apologise for it.( Though Wordsworth did say it was Shakespeare who opened his nature .) What I surely dont apologise for, nonetheless, is following the write when it comes to Shylocks spiritedness and wit.

So much of which is something we become of Shylock is determined by the age of the actor who draws him, the clothes he wears, the accent he is given, the inhumanity of his stare and the curvature of his nose, most of government decisions as to these being unnecessary by anything in the textbook. Last-place summertime, while making a television programme about Shylock in the Venice ghetto, I saw a relatively young actor play him. The result, in particular in the opening exchanges with Antonio and Basanio, was electrifying.

The bristling invasion with which Shylock entertains the first mention from Basanio that Antonio is looking for a loan was not softened.

Three thousand ducats, Shylock muses in that half public, half private method of his. I make I may take his bail. To which Basanio, who is never other than literal, responds Be assured you are able. Shylock deters up the maying and puns on the notion of statement. I will be assured I may. And that I may be assured, I will bethink me … If he already searches more verbally quick for Basanio on the sheet, his gratification of an encounter in which he is the lord looked inhuman, actor to actor. Is the methodology used to his assurance the pound of Antonios flesh already forming in his psyche as he jests?

With Antonios arrival, which he memo with a satirists contempt How like a fawning publican he seems! Shylocks flavours rise so far. Now he can remind, reprimand, retard, offering and disclaim and render again, while a blustering Antonio, standing on basic principles he has forefeited, can do no better than threaten to spew on Shylock again. If it is war now, it is both their doing but, when playing with youth zest, Shylock was having the better of it. When he described the proposed draft bond as a merry play he seemed joyous surely. Tell the relinquish/ Be nominated for an equal pound/ Of your fair flesh, to be cut off and taken/ In what part of your figure it pleaseth me.

Angus Wright( Shylock ), crest, and James Garnon( Antonio) in the RSCs 2008 production of The Merchant of Venice at the Courtyard theatre, Stratford on Avon. Image: Tristram Kenton for the Guardian

These wires should never be delivered anything but flirtatiously. Your fair flesh is an friendship that Antonio, had he been smarter, or less hopeless to self-assured the loan, or less egotistical about his ability to repay it, or little accustomed to flattery, might have recoiled from. Alone moments before, they had been to talk of spew. It takes person very quick on his hoofs to change the colour with such agility. Perhaps most performers, weighed down by their Jewish gabardine and the guessed peculiarity of a Jew manufactured age-old by the relic of his religion, is very hard to applied the requisite verve into this. But the young Venetian Shylock I attended didnt shy from it. For the duration of their deal Antonios flesh was exhibition as fair to Shylock, and whatever of that was derision it was up to the devil himself to find out. As for where Shylock, should Antonio are inadequate to redeem his alliance, merrily proposed to move his cut in what part of your form it pleaseth me why that selfsame devil might have blushed to hear it.

To my ear, the allusion is sex or its good-for-nothing. Interred deep in the antiJewish lores that contacted Shakespeare was a fear of Jews as castrators, and all that medieval Christianity never understood about circumcision. Did Jews eunuch themselves? Did Jewish gentlemen bleed like women? Was that why they needed the blood of Christian children, to oust the blood theyd lost? I dont remark Shakespeare was consciously mentioning all this at the moment that Shylock proposes the bond. But dark as well as comic powers are in play here, the darker, perhaps, for being comic, because what Shylock is building merry with is inchoate Christian terror. To play him as a consummate comedic provocateur, then, as I received him played by a young and juiced-up actor in Venice, is not at all to rescue him from obloquy. But it is to give him the vitality that I feel Shakespeare intended for him. And it is to suggest that the jaunt from Antonios privy parts, which might just ought to have the website please select Shylock for relinquish, to Antonios heart, is not of Shylocks picking only.

Before the idea of deliberate redoubling Shylock making a Jew of Antonio in advance of Antonios making a Christian of him I pull up short. I am not convinced that Shakespeare was ever interested in such abstract, academic mapping. But it is part of his greatness to grant unworked its importance and unsorted old material to have their road without him in a gambling. DH Lawrence wrote astutely about “whats happening in” a living production when the creator throws his finger in the wash, obliging the outcome document. It ceases to be a living design. And Shakespeare was a writer in Lawrences sense, dogma free, permitting characters to find their genuine souls in interaction with one another, and giving language do its own remembering.

It has always seemed incorrect to me to talk of The Merchant of Venice as an anti- or a pro-semitic gambling. Were it either it would be less the play it is. Those who are distressed by what the hell is see as the plays anti-Jewishness find themselves, ironically it seems to me, on the side of the individuals who glory in any anti-Jewishness they find. In both cases, Shylock scandalizes them. The former are scandalized into embarrassment Is that us? the latter into confirmation of what theyve always concluded – Yes, that is you. But for me Shylock lives, with all his human insufficiencies on evidence. We know him by his speech, his repetitions as though no thing said only once can possibly be trusted those strange stutterings in which he addresses himself in a kind of surprise, his sudden absences when he is with others that causes them to wonder whether he is taking note of them at all, his sudden revertings to lyricism, his enraged volleys of speculation , no matter that no one will accept a word of what he supposes, that draw him a kind of fucking cousin to Hamlet. No, there is never any thinking of him as other than a Jew: the Venetians playboys who spit on him one minute and ask for money from him the next will not earmark the Jew in him to be forgotten and, whether as a consequence or by preference, he will not countenance the Jew in him to be forgotten either.

Its hard work. Would he have become life easier for himself had he relented? Perhaps. Its said that finally, as he readies himself to take out Antonios heart, he is the Jew of pitiless legality, the moral antonym of passion as represented by Christians. Were Shakespeare interested in pressing this opposition to the detriment of the Jews he wouldnt have allowed the Christians to substantiate as quite so squalid. They speak of enjoy and think of money. They speak of kindness and evidence nothing. They are merely not more dangerous because they are indolent and forget to be.

In my tale I move Portias world from Belmont to Cheshires Golden Triangle, home to footballers, heiresses and Manchesters most wealthy. I planned no ailment to Cheshire by doing that. But I appear Portias moral universe of childish choices and pettish subterfuges, where protestations of fine experiencing cannot disguise materialism and malice, licenses me to satire. Shylock and Portia now Plurabelle meet again up there. Once more she isnt sure who the Jew is and who the shopkeeper. I never ensure it as my function to give Shylock a second chance. Where thoughts objective for him, they aim forever. But he does have one thing he would like to say to Portia/ Plurabelle. And I allow him to say it.

Shylock Is My Name is publicized next week by Hogarth.

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