#and i dont have the will to try and fail until i find 1 decent recipe i can manage

[princeanxious]

.

[xiaq]

Hi, I have a question re:sex and Christianity. Small background: I still go to church, and I still live with my parents even though I'm not much younger than you, because housing is very very expensive where I live (pretty common here, I would say about 2/3 of my friends live with their parents and we are decently privileged kids)

Anyway. How does one get over purity culture? To be clear, I've never been told in church not to have sex, I've never gotten the gendered lessons that you got. But I am terrified of having sex. My first real, multi-year relationship just ended and while there was hand stuff etc, there was never any p in v sex (lol I feel 12). But I still had insane anxiety about being pregnant despite being on bc. And I think its because I know my parents would be so disappointed if I had sex. And if I was pregnant I could imagine all the gossip. And honestly I think im from a pretty open church, b/c one of our previous ministers kids recently got married at 8 months pregnant and lots of church people were at the wedding and supportive and her parents were there and everything.

I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???

(Asking because it seems like you've been pretty open about purity culture/removing yourself from it)

CW for sex talk (again)

How does one get over purity culture?

Oh man. That really is the million-dollar question, huh? Obviously, I can only answer re my personal experiences, and this is something you should talk to a therapist about, but I can tell you how I’ve tackled it with my therapist at least.

Purity culture is, at its core, an ideology that is perpetuated by shame. If you’re indoctrinated into purity culture when you’re a kid, the concepts become baked into the way you construct your identity, your perception of self, and your perception of your sexuality. It’s practically intrinsic, by the time you’re an adult, to feel shame any time you’re reminded you have a body, much less a sexuality.

According to the chapels I sat through every week as a kid, a girl's body could be 3 things: an intentional stumbling block for men, an accidental stumbling block for men, or unnoticeable. Women were to strive for the third option so as to keep their (and their male friends/authority figures) purity intact. After all, if a boy, or even your male teacher, had impure thoughts about you, it was your fault for tempting them (which, holy shit. I still can’t believe that was a thing I bought into for so long. If my 45 yr old grown-ass teacher had impure thoughts because he could see my 12 yr old collarbone, that sure as hell wasn’t my fault. But I digress.) The Only time a woman’s body can be something else, is when she gives it to her husband, at which point she must suddenly flip the switch in her brain that she is now allowed to be a Sexual Being and she must perform Sexual Duties despite living in outright fear of her own body and sexuality for years (decades?) up until this point. Jesus take the wheel.

Purity culture isn’t a thing you can just decide to walk away from if you’ve grown up in it. Because its ideology is insidious and internalized. So first you need to submit to the fact that you’re going to be fucked up about sex. It sounds like you’re there. Second, you need to interrogate what you believe. If you’re leaving religion behind entirely, you’ll approach removing yourself from purity culture differently than if you still identify as a Christian. It sounds like you might be the latter, which meant, for me, separating what’s actually biblical and what’s shitty, contrived, doctrine that I was told is biblical but is actually more political than spiritual. This helps you address the shame issue.

You need to throw away I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Lady in Waiting and all those ridiculous books you read and reread in the hopes of somehow obtaining impossible marriage perfection and look into actual scripture interpreted within its historical context. I could write a book on this, but the TL;DR is that the text of the Bible was written, translated, curated, and changed multiple times over thousands of years by human beings with human biases and, often, personal and/or political agendas. It contradicts itself! Reading it as it is—a flawed historical document—rather than some sort of God-breathed perfect document—is incredibly freeing. When you do, you’ll probably realize that purity culture is bullshit on a spiritual level. Which is a good start, if that matters to you. Because any time you start to feel shame or guilt you can ask yourself: does God actually care if I wear a bikini or touch a dick I’m not married to? Probably not. Wear the bikini. Touch the dick.

The most important therapy session for me was when my therapist asked what I would do if I got to heaven and God was actually the God I’d been raised to fear. What would I do if he condemned me for being bisexual and having premarital sex and becoming educated, for arguing with men, and failing to isolate while menstruating, and wearing mixed fabrics? If Montero had come out at the point, I probably would have said I’d pole dance down to hell. Instead, I said I would spit on heaven’s gates. If a god that cruel and that pointlessly demeaning really exists—a god who would create in me condemned desire—I won't worship him. The good news is, I’m 99% sure he doesn’t exist. At the very least, he isn’t supported by scripture.

Okay. The final thing you need to do is figure out what you actually want, sexually speaking. This bit is probably the hardest. I’m still in the early stages of this myself. You say: “I dont even think I particularly like sex, i might be on the ace spectrum, but how do I remove it from all the anxiety that's tied to it so I can even give myself the chance to find out???” Bro, I wish I had an easy answer for you. For me, whenever I’m feeling anxious about Sex Things, I tell myself: 1. My God does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 2. My partner does not equate my worth to my sexual habits. 3. I do not equate my worth to my sexual habits. It seems silly, but reminding myself of those three things is massively helpful. If, after I’ve sorted through those, I’m still anxious or uncomfortable, I stop doing the thing. I evaluate. Am I overwhelmed and I need to try again some other time? Do I just not like the thing? Sometimes it’s hard to tell. Sometimes you change your mind. Sometimes you just don’t know. That’s why having a partner who you trust and who’s willing to patiently explore your interests (and respect your disinterests) is so important. Half the battle, for me, was having a partner who told me they’d be ok with no sex at all. Because that took the pressure off me. If the bare minimum they need is nothing, then anything more than that is a bonus! Hooray! This is maybe TMI, but let me tell you. I thought I was asexual* right up until I was able to have moderately non-anxious sex. Never in my life did I think I would initiate a sexual situation but… I do now. It’s a fun thing to do with a person I love and, holy shit. I am furious that I nearly missed out on it.

Finally, re birth control: I don’t know how you can approach that fear in a way that works for you. If you don’t want to ever have penetrative sex, that’s fine! If that’s a point of anxiety you can’t get rid of, then don't push yourself to do it. If you find out you like other sex things, do the other sex things! If you don't like doing any sex things, don't do any sex things! Also, have you considered sleeping with people who can’t get you pregnant? Always an option if it’s an option you want to consider. ;)

Okay. I hope this was even a little bit helpful. Sorry if it’s a little convoluted, I typed it up in bursts during my work breaks.

*This is not at all to say that asexuality can be “fixed." Rather, it’s to say that things like purity culture can drastically confuse your sexuality in general. If you’re asexual, then this process is still important to discover what you like/dislike. Then you can be explicit about those necesities and find a partner who’s a good fit (if you want a partner at all, that is).

[vakta]

a little update about what/how i am doing lately . . . .

to put it short: my therapist and my parents dont let me go to school or stay in my dorm so im staying at home for a few weeks (at least); should be recovering, but i dont rly have the motivation to do so, and my digestive issues make it even more difficult

to not put it short:

so im not allowed to go to school bc i badly relapsed. its not a recent thing, ive been slowly loosing weight since october, when after an actually really seriously-taken but still failed recovery attempt i kind of lost my hopes for full recovery. (i can still imagine it in the distant future tho... but to actually start doing it now.... ehh..)

one of the reasons bc of which i have failed is the pain which comes after eating a decent amount of food, a bigger meal, or even smaller amounts of foods that i avoided for a long time. i got fed up (lol) with this, and decided that i would pay attention to eat less to avoid being in pain afterwards.

not a great idea, my friends, not a great idea.

it works in the short term, but it only makes your stomach even more sensitive, and shortly you can barely eat without pain, your damn safe foods start becoming scary, and you just spiral spiral spiral deeper and deeper and deeper into this.

and yes, you loose weight but at what cost?? (i think this applies to any ed that results in weight loss tbh) the weightloss was one of the reasons my parents noticed that something is wrong with me again (or still, rather)

the other reason was the stress. i had become so so stressed bc of this, and not only this, bc school, oh my beloved, just cant fucking chill. what makes it even worse is that there are only 1 and a half years until university and i seriously need to make decisions in relation to my future, but i never find the time for this with the every other thing that is going on at the same time (looking at my biology teacher.. but also no, he actually cares about me i think; im just a perfectionist who takes everything personally, even if it is directed on those of my classmates who dont study shit and dont even care, and not me who literally learns every damn letter for his tests) also i have an upcoming chemistry exam in spring which i also didnt have the time to really start preparing for.

the dorm was just the cherry on top, with all those skinny girls, and the ones who could never not mention their diet or weightloss or even just be quiet during the 'silentium' (the compulsory study time in the dorm). my roommates were always having fun, noisily, happily, while i was sitting at my desk, barely keeping myself together, so so angry and so so SO jealous of them who could enjoy their time. which i didnt have. unerstandable though, they are attending different, less strict schools and/or are 2 years younger.

so living in that dorm and going to school was draining my time and even more my energy, my mental space, my sanity even, and i was spiraling, like badly.

im honestly so grateful for my parents for not letting me stay in that hell for any longer. i have been at home since last friday, and i honestly enjoy it a lot. i have much more time now, i can sleep enough and study without rushing. it is nice, i could even try solving a few chemistry exam sheets from the previous years and it actually went well!! im really glad :D

though ed-wise im not doing so good. the digestive issues are the biggest problem rn. being in pain for hours after a meal just discourages me from eating tbh.

my parents made some rules: i mustnt do any exercise, only a little yoga (less than an hour daily, just twice a week allowed to be an hour long), and i mustnt walk for longer than 30 mins. i think it goes without saying that i can easily break the time-related ones, but at least while doing so i know im not supposed to do that, and i stopped exercising which is progress in itself (not huge but hey). there arent any eating related rules. yet. i say this bc my mom always checks my weight in the mornings when shes still at home when i wake up, and she tells my dad, who will soon get really angry if i dont gain any. he is already angry for my complains about my stomach pain, he says he is never not in some kind of pain (he is 50) so really i should just get used to it. but my mom told me he had told her he thought i should see a doctor with this, so actually he does care about me a lot, he just cant communicate it. me coming home was his idea too. he cant stand seeing me destroying myself and he only wants the best for me, i know that.

i can only stay at home for 4 weeks (with this one) otherwise i have to repeat this grade. or decide to be homeschooled from now on. this wont be an easy decision.

all in all, ive been trying not to worry much in the past few days but soon its time to think about what i plan to do in the future. and i should do something about my stomach too, it cant keep going like this. so, a lot of things to do, but at least im in a calm, supportive environment now (my mom is the one who is always there for me and im super super thankful for her). idk what will happen, i hope things fall into place.

i dont rly expect anyone to read all of this, it was just nice to type it out, but if you did then congratulations now you know my current struggles more than anyone irl!!!! (okay maybe except for my mom, but still)

[bonny-kookoo]

Bunny Boy (JJK x Reader)☁️⚠️🔪(💜)🔞 Part 3

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Angst, Yandere!AU, Stalker!AU, questionable romance, smut, Oneshot

Warnings: (oh boy) Stalking, Obsession, Yandere themes, cute Koo but aggressive, he ready to fight, graphic description of violence, blood, very twisted JK, oblivious! Reader, kinda Stockholm-syndrome Reader?, soft romantic lovemaking, body worship, Dom! Jungkook, Sub! Reader, Handjob (fem. receiving), oral (fem. receiving), protected sex because even with your mind scrambled up in a frying pan we still wrap it before tapping it y’all hear me STDs ain’t cute Susan

Summary: It all started with a hello kitty charm.

A/N:(IMPORTANT) I’d like to note here that I do not condone nor romanticize any of the things depicted in this. This is purely fictional, and only to be seen as a work of art, not as a depiction of real life relationships. For short: if he a creep, kick his balls, don’t kiss. Thank you.

Part 1 || Part 2 || Part 3

His eyes had seen the words written in neat lettering time and time again, yet he still read it again, trying to calm himself down.

They were trying to take you away.

Your parents were basically not as financially stable as you thought, basically having the audacity to ask you for money.

He was trying not to snap.

He'd known that your mother was a whore, already trying to safe your situation by digging up information he'd rather delete from his mind, forever scarred with the blasphemic image of her showing herself off to strangers on the web like a cheap commercial before a video starts, desperation being an understatement to describe her actions. Or maybe she did it only for the thrill.

She was a vile and distusting woman after all.

It was quite confusing to think of her as the woman who'd been responsible for bringing you into this world. He had a hard time believing it as he thought about your gentle and sweet nature, pure and caring while this sorry excuse of a human being did everything to play with karma it seemed.

Well, maybe he'd change his name for a day and play that role for her.

After all, she was an impatient woman he'd noticed from her constant reminding to buy obscene photos and short videos of her truly underwhelming body for an amount of money he'd rather spend on a coffee and a small breakfast to share with you, if he was being honest.

Why someone would genuinely pay for content like that was beyond him.

"I dont.. understand-" The female voice quivered on the other side of the line, making the corners of his lips turn upwards a bit as he listened to it, gaining some sort of satisfaction in knowing he'd gotten under her skin.

"Oh but I think you do." He said, voice smooth like velvet as he watched her pace back and forth in front of her admittedly bad webcam of her opened laptop. Living off of her husbands money couldn't be so luxurious he thought, if she couldn't even afford a decent laptop for the things she did whenever no one was looking.

It was truly making his saliva taste bitter merely thinking about it.

"If you think deleting your account will safe you, you're even more stupid than I initially thought." He mumbled into his phone as he saw her eyes widen, hands stalling as her gaze locked with the tiny device on top of her screen. She probably paled, yet the quality was too bad to tell for sure. "Everything has already been saved and will remain in my possession for as long as I have need of it." He stated, and clicked his tongue as she seemed to think of something to get herself out of it. "And remember; calling the police or informing any other authority will only result in you having to admit to your crimes as well. And I believe that isn't truly what you want." She snapped, hitting her table as she watched the camera, unknowing how Jungkook didn't even pay attention anymore, knowing he'd finally caught her head inside his noose.

"How much do you want?" She gritted out, and he chuckled, before clearing his throat.

"Your mindset truly disgusts me." He said, before sighing. "I don't want your fucking money."

He sat down properly again as he looked at his screen again.

"But I want you to do something for me.."

"It's nice to know that she finally found someone who can look after her." Your father stated, smiling at Jungkook who sat next to you at the table,taking your hand in his as he mirrored the gesture, spotting the way your mother tensed up in the corner of his vision, making him chuckle a bit.

"No, really, I am happy I've found her." He said, rubbing the back of his neck a bit shyly, making you giggle at his antics. Initially, you'd been a little worried when your parents wanted to meet Jungkook, not even knowing how they got to know about your relationship- your mother, however, had cleared things up for you, explaining that he'd updated them on your condition when you were in hospital. Maybe she did care, after all. "Right, angel?" He said, and you nodded, smiling with a bit of redness on your cheeks.

Absolutely divine.

"Alright, let me clean this up, You guys can head to bed, its already late." Your father said as he stood up, everyone else following after, when you'd suddenly grabbed Jungkooks plate and empty glass, smiling. Out of the corner of his he could see your mother empty her glass greedily, making him smile even wider.

Greed was a sin to be punished, after all.

"I'll do that, don't worry." You smiled, and he cooed at the sight. You were so absolutely sweet, he was always astounded at it, even though he should be getting used to it by now. He'd never get used to you, however. He nodded, giving you a kiss to your cheek as your father called for your mother, who'd been about to leave the table.

"Can you show Jungkook here where the guest room is? Help him set the bed, will you." He spoke, warmth as fake as her eyelashes as she smiled tensely, nodding towards Jungkook as he followed, comfortable with leaving you and your father alone for the moment. He wasn't a threat at all.

Your mother however, was a different story.

If she'd thought he wouldn't pick up on her dark gazes and blunt lies she truly was brainless. But then again, considering what she did with her freetime, he wouldn't be surprised to find her entirely empty.

Opening the door of the guest room, your mother closed the door behind him, slowly walking towards his back which was turned towards her, hands running over his shoulderblades as he shuddered.

But not with pleasure.

"I bet a young boy like you has stamina, heh?" She said, trying to form a seducing tone with her voice, yet failed as his eyes continued to stare forward, cold as ever as he stood unmoving, even when she came even closer. "Why would you get yourself someone like her anyways? There's nothing about her.." She chatted away, before stopping. "Wha-" She breathed out as she felt something poke her hip.

She was dead inside already, so why was she still up and walking like a zombie?

"You truly are disgusting." He murmured, turning around to hold his hand against her throat, backing her up until she could feel the wooden door against her back, chin pushing itself upwards as she looked at him with wide eyes. "To imagine that your rotten womb gave birth to an angel like her.." He said, eyes still trained on hers as he pushed a bit more, feeling and hearing her struggle, before moving away from her, snapping the knife he'd in his other hand shut to put it back inside his pocket as he opened the drawers, searching for fresh sheets. "I advise you to not ever touch me again if you want to keep your skin intact. It's nauseating enough that I have to share the same roof with someone like you tonight." He said, as he finally found what he was looking for, not caring as she swallowed hard, leaving the room and him alone, but not before running into you.

"Oh, sorry, I.. Uh, Jungkookie?" You asked, peeking into the room as his entire demeanor made a full 180 in front of your mothers eyes, body language suddenly speaking a different dialect it seemed, as he smiled, walking up to you, and leading you inside the room, closing the door with a last warning look thrown at her.

"Please angel.." He hummed against your skin, as you shyly touched his skin, making him sigh in bliss. He'd showered after his encounter with your witch of a mother, yet he couldn't help but not feel clean enough- he needed your touch, your salvation, to finally feel good again, to exorcise the demonic memories of her gut wrenching hands on his back, or her obscene words towards him. He needed your purity to cleanse him again, to give him back his wings you'd granted him.

"They won't hear." He promised, but in reality he wanted them to, craving deep down inside his being to drench the walls in your heavenly sounds, to clean this room of her presence with the help of the pleasure he was giving you. He felt you give into him with ease, smile warm and happy as his fingers entered you, knowing that he could not nestle himself inside you without sacrificing safety. And getting you pregnant was far from his mind.

No, the only thing ever being inside you would be him, and no one else.

You breathed out in sweet euphoria as he worked you with his hand, before dipping down, taking the covers with him as his tongue got in contact with your pearl, mouth feasting on you like a starving man enjoying his first meal, humming in pleasure as your hand found its way into his hair, gently tugging, never hurting.

He highly doubted you could ever hurt a fly.

And you'd never have to, with Jungkook at your side ready to soak his hands in the blood of anyone you wanted to have killed in cold murder, all of it with a smile on his face. He was ready to flood the streets in his own guts just to make more room for your praise and affection inside of him, he'd do it all for you in a time shorter than his heart could ever beat.

Your sighs turned into mewls.

He pushed your legs apart gently, hands reminiscing in the feel of your skin underneath his palms as he put even more effort into his actions, making you squirm in pleasure as your back arched like a feline stretching itself after a well deserved rest as you came undone with his touch, mouth finally parting from you, crawling upwards to your face as he kissed you, uncaring of your own residue on his lips.

You loved him.

He suddenly let out a short moan as he felt your delicate hands touch his bulge, eyes questioning as you silently asked for his permission.

Who was he to deny you anything?

As you pulled him out of his underwear he sighed at the view, your entire body showing off how lost you were with the task you'd taken on, making him smile as he began to help you, placing your hands around him in a proper way and showing you how to please him.

You learned quick.

Slowly growing more confident, you started to grip him with a bit more confidence, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear as you suddenly dipped down, making his eyes as wide as the moon before he huffed out a breath, head falling back as he could only stare at the white ceiling when your tongue touched his tip. Your soft lips took him in, inviting him inside the warmth of your mouth as you gently sucked before releasing him again, using your saliva and his own precum as lubrication for easier motions.

He was in heaven.

Of course he'd though about it, yet it seemed almost embarrassing how he fell apart so quickly under your touch, cum suddenly spurting out as he came violently, not prepared to last under such circumstances. He caught his breath, smiling apologetically as he stood up on slightly unsteady legs, reaching for some tissues inside his backpack near the bed before crawling back to you, cleaning up your face and neck with the outmost care as you suddenly spoke. "So, was that.. good?" You asked, and he scoffed, kissing you deeply before he rested his forehead against yours.

"Angel, you just sent me to heaven." He said, making you giggle as he made you lie down, cleaning between your thighs as to not make too much of a mess of the sheets.

His cum stained tissues however, he'd leave as a present for the witch to find.

If she was to wake again, that is.

"I'm so sorry, she isn't feeling well-" Your father apologized, yet Jungkook simply waved him off with a sympathizing smile. You nodded next to him, agreeing with Jungkook that this was simply a bad day for her. Everyone got sick once in a while. "I hope you have a safe trip home, and thank you for the wine Jungkook, you really have taste." He said, pale skin showing to him that he'd seemingly been affected as well. "We'll stay in touch." He told Jungkook, hugging him in a friendly manner as a form of goodbye.

He was collateral damage.

He actually liked the man a bit, noticing how calm and collected he was, even though he had to share his life with a woman such as your mother. He admired him really, for spending his time with her every day, for simply coexisting with her, without feeling the need to end his own life.

But maybe this man had exactly those thoughts he wondered, as he though about the wine bottle inside his car, evidence he'd taken with him to discard of in safe distance.

And as you both waved one last time, driving off, Jungkook only had one sentence running around inside his head as he thought of the witch that was your mother.

"This time, please just stay dead."

“I don’t have much space-“ he said, sitting on the engine hood of his car, patting his thighs as an invitation for you. “But it’s gonna be okay. I like having you close anyways.” He mused, voice low and drawled as if exhausted. You sat on his lap, legs hanging off on one side, head leaning on his chest, craving his warmth like a newborn kitten. He snaked his arms around your form, bathing in your presence in pure feelings of bliss as you sighed. He looked down on you, hand running over the top of your head. “What is it angel?” He said, worry a present undertone in his voice. You played with the buttons of his coat as he watched the sun set in front of you both, twilight slowly setting in.

“They.. won’t take me away from you, right?” You asked timidly, unknowing why this option scared you so much. Those were your parents; you shouldn’t be scared of them, should you? Yet Jungkook had told you to be wary of them, and you knew he was to be trusted- when has he ever been wrong? He only wanted your best, just like he said; he only wanted you safe and protected, and it made you feel oh so special. The pure option that you could be forced to live without him now seemed utterly terrifying, like a phobia you didn’t know you had.

“No, no angel.” He said, smile ever so present as if he’d just been gifted the thing he’d always wanted. You seemed so upset with the mere possibility of being away from him, it showed him that you had finally accepted him fully; you finally were his and his alone. “I won’t let anyone take you away from me.” He growled possessively, eyes growing cold as you leaned even closer to him, making him take a deep breath in fondness. “I’d rather die.” He whispered, and your head shot up, delicate hands on his chest, and an absolutely divine and desperate look on your face.

“Then I’ll die with you! You can’t leave me behind-“ you said, wide eyes looking at him in pure horror of the simple mention of his death, and he chuckled, brushing a piece of hair behind your ear with gentle hands, as he answered you lowly.

“Don’t worry angel-“ he said, his hand resting on your cheek, eyes watching you like a piece of art. “I’ll take you with me wherever I go.” He said, leaning in for a kiss you eagerly accepted, uncaring of how his hands gripped your waist tightly. Dangerously. And you were just as uncaring of his next words that left his lips between heated kisses.

“Even if I’d have to kill you myself.” he mumbled into you as you smiled.

You felt like Romeo and Juliet.

Or bonny and clyde for that matter.

The news should've hit you hard, yet it only left you with questions. You by now had your suspicions on what had happened, yet instead of igniting fear, it only left you with more things to wonder about. Why would he do these things?

Was he this scared to loose you that he even killed in his desperation to keep you close?

Would you one day be his victim as well?

"Angel?" He asked, standing behind you as his eyes scanned your form, noticing how you'd stopped packing your stuff, simply sitting in your old bedroom, on the floor, on your knees, in the middle of the room. "Are you okay?" He asked.

Well.. were you?

And if you were-

For how long?

Taglist:

[themaninflannel]

Never be the same (Snapshots pt 4)

Summary: the time leading up to dean being dragged to hell. Y/N and Dean are so in denial about ~certain things~

Word Count: 1.2k

Warnings: grief disguised as anger, yelling, angst

AN: hey yall its been a WHILE since I wrote anything but I do plan on continuing this series as well as maybe other things

part 1 part 2 part 3

masterlist

I had been traveling with the boys for almost two years when everything changed. Dean sold his soul to save Sam, and he got one year. One freaking year. Don’t get me wrong I understand why he did it and honestly I might have done the same thing, but I am not the kind of person the world will miss. Dean is. He is the kind of man whose death will be felt by more than just the people who knew him. And I was PISSED.

“Dean what the fuck! You sold your soul for ONE FUCKING YEAR?!”

“NO. I did it for Sam. I couldn’t live with him being dead!”

“Did you ever think about the fact that maybe JUST MAYBE we couldn’t live with you being dead?”

“Ha, thats not what i’m worried about,” he turned his back around on me, “im sure you guys will be fine,”

“There you go again! Of course we would be worried! We’re your family, Dean.”

This was the conversation that we kept having with Dean. Eventually we stopped yelling at him for it and started doing our best to make sure he could have the best year possible. He deserved that, whether or not he thought so. This meant a lot of shitty bars and games of pool. And Women.

We were in a roadhouse, the kind where the floor smells like beer and theres only like three people there-including the bartender. Dean saw a sign that said ‘burgers and beer’ and just had to pull over and try it. He had been doing that more and more the closer that we got to the big day.

“Ugh dean come on,” Sam groaned, “i get heart problems just by looking at this place,”

“Oh Sammy! Im sure we can find you some of that rabbit food you like so much,” Dean teased, slapping Sam in the chest as he got out of the car.

“Common, it makes him happy,'' I said shrugged. We got out of the car and followed dean into the bar. He didnt seem to be bothered by the lack of people, instead he just walked straight to the bar. Unfortunately for dean, there was a lack of women in this particular bar and he was stuck with us.

“Beers all around!” dean handed us each a bottle and followed sam over to the pool table.

After about three games and quite a few more drinks, we headed back to the car. I had stayed mostly sober so that dean could drink all he wanted, at some point i had snaked his keys out of his pocket. He never would have given them to me without a fight- even if he had been sober. Sam got him into the back seat and i set off in search of a half decent motel for us to spend the night in.

“A month left. And were no where closer to finding Lilith than we were three months ago,” Sam said when it was clear that Dean was asleep.

“Well get there. Lilith has to be looking for us, so its only a matter of time”

“We should head back to Bobby’s soon and go over all of the books again” sam suggested. We kept talking until i pulled off towards a rest stop with a motel.

I opened the door and Sam plopped dean down on the bed closest to the door.

“Im gonna grab a shower and wash this dive smell off,” i headed towards the bathroom.

I turned on the water as hot as it would go and just stood under it. It was the first time in a few days i had to truly relax, we had back to back hunts for the last week and that meant being constantly alert. Thus, it was no surprise that the first time I had to relax i got hit with a wave of grief and exhaustion. I collapsed on the shower floor and cried, i cried for dean and his deal, I cried for Sam who was about to lose his brother, and i cried for me because i was gonna loose my best friend, the most important person in the world to me. By the time I was able to breath again the water had gone cold.

When I walked out of the bathroom in my PJs Sam had crashed in the other bed, leaving me to crawl in next to Dean. This was how we ended up most nights, me and Dean and then sam either in the next bed or the next room. This was as close to a real partnership as i had ever had, and it wasnt even the real thing. We hadnt slept together after that second time, but i was gonna take everything i could before he was gone.

Deans POV

Everyday is closer to my own personal doomsday. But I already feel like im in hell, seeing Sammy’s face fall everytime he looks at me is hell. Seeing Y/N try to keep me at arms length in the day but crawl under shitty motel covers and hold me at night. I pretend that I let it happen for her, but thats not true. Not that she or Sammy needs to know that. They dont need to know im scared, that would put too much on their shoulders. They dont need that. I can see how much they are trying to put on a good face for me and I would hate if I was the one that ruined that for them.

I can tell its close. I can feel Hell laying its claim on my soul. WI just hope that the last thing I see before I get dragged to hell will be Y/N’s face. I cant burden her with how I feel when im about to die. I just cant see the disgust on her face and then die. So i keep it to myself. We know where Lilith is, its only a matter of time before we go looking for her. Or they go looking for her.

Y/Ns POV

Hes just laying there, the hellhounds tore apart his chest and now hes just laying there. But its not him. Not anymore. Now hes just a shell, his final words frozen on his face. What do we do now? What do I do now? I left behind my life to hunt with him, and Sam, and now hes gone.

Sam is angry. Like burn the world down kill anything that fucks with him angry. And Bobby, Bobby is broken. Like drink the days away broken. I cant help Sam, he wont let me and I dont have it in me to fight with him right now. And maybe I cant help Bobby, but I can at least be there with him and offer a shoulder for when he does let me help.

-----four months later-----

I haven't seen Sam since we burned Deans body, but i've been helping Bobby as best he’ll let me. Most days that meant spending the day following him around with some food trying to get him to consume something that isn't booze and the nights trying to get him to put down the books and go to sleep. And when that inevitably fails I cover him with a blanket and turn the lights off before I crash on the couch.

Its been almost four months since I held Deans lifeless body in my arms. Since I saw the hell hounds tear him apart. Since I realized I would never be the same without him.

[lionews]

Guide to GB

hi ;0 sorry it’s me again. I noticed that maybe yesterday or the day before, there was a discussion on how people made GB without buying any, and a lot of people mentioned event stuff. That usually requires a bit of research (if you’re just getting started on lioden) and can be overwhelming. So this post is for anyone who needs it—anyone who is new to event grinding and trying to step up from being a casual player, or just trying to make a few more bucks.

In almost every month, new apps will be released, and typically those will sell well out of season… but there are a few hot items that will always be almost always be on SOMEONE’S radar, and I’ll tell you about them now!

—–

Mod note: You should probably post this on a public blog so it can go into the Lioden tag. We don’t post in there incase people don’t want to see our blog. Or even in the forums.

January - January’s event is mostly filled with decor, but save up your SB a month or so in advance, because when the 3rd tier is unlocked, you can buy some pretty neat stuff that sells well later on! Lion meat can be purchased at T3 in the event shop for 2000SB! If you hold onto it for later, you can make 8-10GB per meat! Prices tend to shoot up during February, so if you wait to get full worth, you could be earning 13-15GB from a 2000GB (about 2GB) investment. As always, branch prices ALWAYS fluctuate, so forgive me if my ranges are a little off. But typically, that’s the general profit you can make from lion meat.

Then, MOD Overgrown Fur can be purchased for 4000SB when Tier 4 is unlocked! Popularity varies among players, but it’s definitely something you can sell… personally, I would invest more in lion meat, but it’s up to you!

In January, there is also the Boneyard! Save up your LB because digging about in the yard or donating skulls can get you a selection of three items, which can be quite useful if you know what you’re looking for.

Vulture eggs, broken drones, giant tortoises, leopard orchids, MOD: Primal, and lion meat may appear! You can then purchase them with event currency!

Vulture eggs and broken drones sell well in bulk. Giant tortoises on average sell really well for about 1-2gb MOD: Primal varies, again, around 10-15gb is what I’ve seen post-January. And lion meat was mentioned above!

Oh! And you’d be surprised… don’t skip out on those leopard orchids! They might seem a little lame, but you can sell them for 1gb! And holy COW they sell fast! Why? Because the normal auto-claim on a lioness in explore is 2gb, so players will jump on those leopard orchids for 1gb each! I’ve sold mine recently in under 5 minutes, it was surprising!

February - February is a special chaos. I’m not kidding, every bit of your event currency will be desired sitewide.

Tier 2 in the flirt shop allows access to honeycombs—which can be sold fast for 1gb… though they have an expiration date, so maybe not the best investment since prices drop in February. You can also find Grains of Paradise (GOP) which guarantee at least 2 cubs in a litter! These will sell out of season for up to 21GB from what I’ve seen, but prices will fluctuate and crawl up and down. Regardless, you’re looking at about a 8-15gb profit on average depending on what the branch prices look like.

Tier 3 in the flirt shop and slap shop, my friends, is where it gets wild. Buffalo balls, which guarantee at least 3 cubs in a litter, will be available along with an item called Yohimbe bark, which chops 1 day off of a lioness’ breeding cooldown! Out of season, yohimbe barks sell for around 12-15gb each! And Buffalo balls, which are always in high demand, can climb from a price of 6gb during February to 16 to 20gb! Later on by summer, buffy balls can reach as much as 25–and I’ve seen as much as 45gb… a big leap! So hold onto them. And again, prices will always fluctuate, so don’t hold me firm on these prices if you don’t see them please ;;;

Apps, again, vary depending on the community opinion on them… once more, all newer apps will sell well. Personally, I find the February apps gorgeous, but if you want to make quick sales after February and make the most of your event grinding, I would invest in breeding items.

In the slap shop, there are lion scrotums when T3 is unlocked! They guarantee a 25% chance of passing a mutation on… though this does not account for hybrids. Dwarves require these in order to pass on their mutation, and double uteruses do as well. DU and dwarf breeders will always be on the lookout for these! But prices on these make me narrow my eyes. Buffy balls can be used for all lions, but lion scrotums are only useful if you’re breeding dwarves or DUs. Thus, buffy balls will almost always sell faster than lion balls from my personal experience—but that doesn’t mean lion scrotums aren’t worth buying! Due to their slightly higher price compared to buffy balls in the event shop, they tend to sell for just a bit more than buffies do! But bewarned that come the May event, I believe, they will become available once more in an event shop.

March - March brings in more decor than it does breeding items, but there are still ways to profit! While you might be tempted to snag the newest apps, hold off and try to gauge the public opinion… for example, recently Hirola was released… and it seems sort of meh, so you won’t see a big demand for it. It’s the base apps that are involved involved in combo-base breeding that are the key!!! The ivory base can be used in two combo bases as a factor: Soul and Madagascar! So pick up that One With Giants app! It can be resold for a fair amount!

April - April is another event heavy on decor, but there are at least a few nice things! Egg yolks in the event shop will be heavily desired by stat breeders, so you can pick up those to sell—beware they also have expiration dates. Personally, I think the real good stuff is in Wenet’s shop! Doing her quests grants you hare points to spend. Stocking up on roasted lambs is a very good idea—these double your energy gained for 8 hours!!! They’ll be floating around during April for 1-3GB on average. And if you hold onto them until February, they shoot up in demand and can go for about 12-16gb each! It’s not difficult to pump out at least 8-9 roasted lambs during April, so that’s a few extra $$ in your pocket if you’re patient enough!

May - In May you can purchase red bulls, which are similar energy boosters like roasted lambs! These sell well, and as mentioned previously, lion scrotums make their return! Also, there is a chance to obtain male groupies, which are heritageless lions like NCLs that can be used to replace your king and essentially make it a G1! These sell for fairly good prices throughout the year due to people changing/replacing kings! Make sure to patrol them or freeze them on your side account (so they don’t age too much), and you can fetch quite the pretty penny depending on the market. I once, out of season, bought a heritageless groupie, one of the only few remaining on TC, for 75GB. Do I regret not waiting? Yes. Is it too late to cry? Totally.

June - June. Lovely June. Side with one of the deities or gods or whatever during the event, and once you finish their story line, you’ll get a base applicator that typically is worth a decent amount of GB out of season depending on which one you’re selling. Let it be noted that anubis, bast, seth, and sha are ALL factors of a combo-base, which is why combo-breeders will be willing to pay a good sum of money for those apps. Check the lowest branch price if you’re looking to sell!

July - Pack your bags and get ready to grind hardcore again, July brings a new base that usually has breeders scrambling to obtain, and there are also GORGEOUS backgrounds and decor to buy. Not only that, but for shards in the event shop, you can buy applicators that ALL sell fairly well. Well… mane apps might be iffy. But let me point out a few things worth snagging: Sunrise markings! Sunset markings! These two are almost ALWAYS going for a jaw dropping sum, I’ve seen 40-70 each, but DONT hold me on that please.

Curse of divine is a combo base factor for Elysian, a fairly popular base. Snag it! Touch of demiurge is a gorgeous base, and it sells pretty well! Grab that if you want!

And of course, whatever new comes out, make sure to gauge the audience… though in July, most everything new is going to be a good investment.

August - August is a pain in my opinion. Grinding DB to buy buffy balls is rough. But let me mention the stuff to invest in! The peddler allows you to buy vulture eggs, broken drones, and lucky feet—all of which sell nicely in big quantities.

I failed to mention this in April, but lucky feet will be in an abundance. SAVE THEM. Lucky feet are used to automatically win battles, and they come in handy for October, which is heavily combat based!

Buffalo scrotums and Grains of Paradise also make their comeback at the peddler, though I can’t give you a good price range on those. I will say that by August, the market for breeding items gets a bit dry, and so prices will be higher—much higher than they were in February.

September - September is good for one thing, and only one thing… actually scratch that—two things, and only two things primarily. GMO cows and ochre gnawrocks. Anyone playing lioden long enough knows that GMO cows are a big item used in mutation breeding, it ups the chance GREATLY of getting a mutated litter—even moreso than lion meats do. These things are WHACK. They sell for 45-60GB out of season, and in February, MANY people will be trying to buy them. Ochre gnawrocks guarantee the passing of a specific marking. Rosettes are very hard-to-breed markings due to their low pass rates, and mottled rosette is a hybrid originating marking. Thus, ochre gnawrocks will go for big bucks out of season, especially during February. 45-60GB is the common price that I’ve seen, although one year it was wild enough to reach 80GB. It all depends, but regardless, both items are good to grind for.

Oh! And in the Harbringer’s shop, there are black stallions, which sell well for 1-4GB all year long. They essentially guarantee that a lioness gets pregnant once for a breeding. This is very helpful to people breeding low fert lionesses like hybrids. Although, angelic blessings do a longer lasting job and sell for more… more on that later, you can’t get those during this month.

October - Then comes October, the battle-oriented event that I mentioned previously is what you should be saving your lucky feet for.

Let me try to get this all down. There is a general shop in which you can buy applicators and decor, and quite a few of the base apps in the shop are factors for combo bases. For example, Unholy is involved in 3 combo bases! And blazing is in another. Fiery is also in one, and I really can’t go into specifics because I’m not a big combo-breeder, but a quick google can give you the idea.

Then, you can side with heaven or hell, in which you’ll collect the respective currencies for whichever one you might go with. In heaven, you can get Angelic blessings, which as mentioned previously, are like black stallions. However, when you equip them to a lioness, they’ll get pregnant no matter what their fertility in one go for as long as they live/are using the blessing. Be warned that removing the blessing, which “acts” like a decor, will cause it to be used up. You won’t get it back, it’s a 1-use item. These sell well for 10-15gb out of season.

Shadows of death are what you can purchase in Hell’s shop. This will shorten your lioness’ life by 1 day—which in turn also removes a breeding cooldown day. These sell fairly well for about 10-14gb out of season! Surprisingly enough, I would say they get used fairly frequently—although the idea of killing your lioness might make it hard to believe.

Then there’s the manticore shop, where you can buy things like fermented marula fruit, medlar fruit (good for cub training to 100% immediately), dove feasts, RMAs, and crunchy worms. Dove feasts can be crafted in February, RMAs can be purchased at any time in the Oasis all year long, and medlar fruit on the market is a bit shakey considering that it’s not hard to train a cub to 100% without items. The real market investment here are the crunchy worms, which give a 25% of producing a clone cub of the mother in a litter. Again, these will sell VERY well out of season, especially during February. I don’t feel confident on giving a good price estimate, but as I’m writing this, the average price appears to be about 30GB, and it is early April.

November - Deep breaths, we’re almost done! November is where you’ll mostly be saving your event currency to buy the newest released base app or decor. I recommend saving your herbs, because I believe November is heavily herb-based. Giant tortoises are also available in the shop!

December Here we go, most all December event apps are HOT HOT HOT! And the jolly pose in the event shop is also fairly desirable! Save for those Jolly poses, and save for that newly released base, marking, whatever. Many of the bases in the event shop here are used in combo-base breeding.

I should note that spicy ice tends to have year-round popularity! It’s a factor for a whopping 4 combo bases! That’s a lot!

Along with that, frostbitten markings seem to have a decent amount of popularity, though things always always fluctuate. Check lowest branch prices, and with newer apps, always scan the community for the general feedback before investing.

And that’s it for event stuff!

Here’s the biggest advice of all…

If you want GB fast, sell the items listed above DURING the events.

If you want to make a profit/get rich, sell the items listed above MONTHS AFTER the events!

[psycoweeb]

Amber/Momo Yaoyorozu

Color Prompt: Amber(Most of this was meant to happen in front of a fire...)

Fluff☁

Warnings: Tooth rotting fluff, cheesy confession, hiking, and my bad writing ❤

Disclaimer: I do not own bnha or any of its characters. Only the story written below.

A/N: I am SO SORRY this took so long! To make a long story short I basically dropped all of my hobbies in order to focus on the last bit of my school semester😅

It's litterly 12am rn so sorry if it seems a bit off at the end (this fic DEFINITELY did not go the way I planned😂I kina like it tho)

~~~•∆•~~~

You tried to keep up as you walked the trail, ducking and dodging branches. 'Why am I here again?' you thought starting to feel your fatigue slowly building.

It was nearing the end of class when Aizawa sensei randomly announced a surprise four day "field trip" that would take place two days later, and it wasn't an option. We ended up rushing to get our parents permission, and pack up.

You were pulled out of your thoughts as you heard Mina groaning loudly. "FINALLY!" The pink haired girl exclaimed sounding relieved. She had good reason to be, Aizawa Sensei had the entire class take a SIX HOUR hike instead of taking the bus up the very obvious road.

You dragged yourself to the clearing along with the rest of the class toward Aizawa sensei, who some how made it up before all of you. And didn't seem the least bit tired??? After giving the class a few hours to rest, thank goodness, Aizawa sensei stood up to speak.

"I'm glad to see you all made it in one piece, however I can't promise you'll leave that way" Everyone internally groaned at this. "starting today we have survival training" He said with a bored expression.

Iida stepped forward, confused by his teachers statment "With all do respect sir, why would we need that type of training? We'll most likely be working as heros in the city, correct?"

"While that may be true" The teacher said turning to him "we don't want other incidents like the USJ. We don't know the extent of their power, therefore we dont know where or how far they can teleport someone. And it was made clear how much you all are lacking in this type of environment at the training camp"

He continued "None of you are used to fighting in a closed off environment with obstacles everywhere you turn, that's what this training camps main objective is, to get you ready for anything. Today we have survival lessons and tomorrow we work on combat, we'll switch off between the days. That means you have two days to learn how to survive in a forest and two days to learn combat in a forest, good luck"

~~•∆(Timeskip by: Momo's delightful tea∆•~~

Everyone sat in silence waiting for their teachers instruction... And by silence I mean bakusqaud was quoting vines while Bakubro yells at them to shut up. (but with more✨𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠✨)

Dekusquad was thinking about random strategies they should use if they were ever ambushed (don't jinx it) while also thinking about what they would eat once they get back.

And the rest of the class are sitting in silence minus some mumbling about cold soba and a few poems.

At some point, in the middle of all this, Midoriya decides it's been long enough. "It seems like Aizawa sensei doesn't have any intention of helping us figure out what to do"

"I do believe it's time that we take charge of the situation." Said Iida "yeah but who?" Kirishima asked quizzically

"What do you mean? " Ojiro inquires

"Who should take charge?" You nodded at his answer

"He has a point" You started "It would be to chaotic if we all 'took charge' of ourselves."

"I vote Iida and Momo!" Hagakure beamed "They aren't the class president and vice president for nothing!" she exclaimed, running over to hug Momo's arm.

"Yeah that sounds good"

"I have no qualms with it"

"Yeah"

"I don't see why not"

"I can get behind that"

Mutual agreeance flowed over the crowd of teens in the form of nods and over exclaimed confirmation.

"Okay then" Momo said, sounding slightly nervous.

"ALL RIGHT THEN" exclaimed Iida unconsciously chopping the air, beginning to bark out a few plans and ideas.

×ו∆Timeskip by: Mina's killer moves∆•××

You walk through the trees, glancing around at the ground every once in awhile to make sure you're not skipping over any decently sized sticks.

"How many do you have so far?" You yelled out, not in any particular direction.

"Not enough" Momo yelled back, obviously preoccupied with finding sticks big enough for the fire you both were tasked with building. And by fire you mean bonfire, I mean, it is meant for about 22 people.

So you were kind of disappointed when you found out Momo couldn't use her quirk to make your jobs easier since sticks were considered living things.

You continued to walk forward until you came across a log with a few decent sized sticks protruding from the sides. You snapped them off the log, deciding what you had combined was enough, you both quickly started heading back the direction you came, hoping to get back before it gets dark.

Now, listen. The camp was generally pretty big. I mean, it IS meant for 21 students plus 1 teacher. That being said... why couldn't you find it?!?

You DID come from this direction... RIGHT???

Or.. Was it that way....oh no

"Whats wrong?" Momo walked a bit closer, noticing your hesitant steps.

"Oh nothin', just got a bit turned around" Your voice got higher, trying, and failing, to brush off her question

"Wait so...we're lost???"

"Hey! I never said 'lost'...but uh" You cleared your throat "Yes"

And that my friend... Is when panic set in. You'll never be able to graduate or even try to beat Bakugo and his damn near perfect grades!

"Um... Y/N"

Forget about being a hero! You can't even save YOUR SELF! FrOm TrEeS!

"Uhh"

I'll never be able tell her

That.. That is when you made the worst mistake of your life, you looked at her.

And saw Momo's confused, borderline sad face. You had been speaking out loud this whole time.

'Well, I was mumbling what are the chances she ACTUALLY understood what I was saying??? Maybe I could play it off?'

"Tell who what?"

'Dang it!'

You thought you were packing before? Ohh you haven't seen anything yet!

This is the WORST time to confess! It's not romantic AT ALL and your covered head to toe in sweat! And now, you either have to confess your undying love for the girl you and been borderline stalking for MONTHS! Or let her go on believing something that MY NOT EVEN BE TRUE!

You took in a sharp breath. "Well" She gestured for you to continue "There's this girl, she's smart, pretty, nice, well tempered, a good leader, and most likely WAY out of my league... " You had started rambling "A-and I kind of have a massive crush on her... "

With every word Momo's face slowly fell until she was completely looking at the ground

"Well, it sounds like you really like her"

"I do" You looked toward the sky dreamily

'Wait.She doesn't think. She couldn't really. Oh no.. '

You stopped dead in your tracks and turned toward your classmate.

There is NO WAY are you letting the classic: mIsuNDErsTAnDInG tRouPE get in the way of you possibly being able to get a date with the girl you've had a crush on for basically the whole school year!

"Momo Yaoyorozu!" You unintentionally shouted with sudden confidence. She jumped in surprise "You are the most amazing person I have had the pleasure of meeting and will no doubt become an even more amazing Hero"

You paused "I don't want to end this year knowing that I had the chance to have someone so beautiful in my life, possibly forever, and passed it up." You grabbed her hands and looked into her eyes, she was blushing... HARD.

You low key felt proud of yourself. "Momo, YOU are the girl I like. Would you please consider becoming my girlfriend?" You could feel her grip on your hands tighten.

"Do you really think I'm all those things?" She mumbled. "Of course" You answered without thinking, a confused look on your face.

"Strong, stubborn, creative," She spoke softly, gaining confidence with every word.

"good looking, encouraging, and always able to calm down a bad situation while still being able to bring energy into a room just by walking in"

"That's what you are to me." She was now looking you in the eyes. A bright smile on her face. "So when you ask me if I would consider being your girlfriend, the answer is, I already have. And there is nothing I want more"

Your eyes we're now glossed over with tears, but you didn't feel embarrassed because you could see that hers were too.

You both started to lean in and closed your eyes. Soon enough your lips met. It was as if time had stopped. As if the universe itself wanted to sit and appreciate the beautiful and unforgettable moment.

Even when you consider everything that happened that you didn't exactly enjoy. Even though you were still lost and BAKUGOU of all people was sent to find you. That was the most memorable and magical night you had ever experienced as a student of UA.

[quietmyfearswith]

where our demons hide {dark!tony stark x fem!reader}

where our demons hide {dark!tony stark x fem!reader} part 1

status — ongoing series

warnings — non-con turns into dub-con, oral sex (giving & receiving), name-calling, swearing, porn with a bit of plot, dark!tony stark, unprotected penetrative sex (pls dont do this, use protection!)

word count — 3,205

a/n — so i’m not gonna lie this is a little self-indulgent and this was an idea i somehow had after reading a few fics/drabbles with the same premise. this will be a dark series featuring not only tony stark but also the other male avengers. i’m also considering on making a separate dark series featuring the female avengers with the same concept. also!!! infinity war, civil war, and endgame did not happen (totally not bc everything went downhill from there & i hate it but because it just would be more fitting for the story) and that tony & pepper are not in a relationship in here bc in this house we do not condone cheating. & this is my first ever time writing smut so feedback would be very much appreciated :>

masterlist

“Boss lady, you heading out already?” John asked as he knocked on the outside of my office door. Seeing him with his bag strap over his shoulder, it made me turn back my attention briefly to the desk clock I had, my eyes widening in shock as I noticed how it was already a quarter to 9. “Jesus, has it been that long?” I said to him and to myself in disbelief.

John chuckled as he approached my desk and moved some files out of the way and sat down, “Well time sure does fly when you’re working your ass off.” I threw my head back, trying to rub off of the exhaustion off of my eyes, agreeing with him by saying, “As the head of the research department, I don’t think I have time to slack off and mess around.” 

As I looked into his eyes, I felt that he was conflicted — that he did want to help me furthermore, but there was also this part of him that wanted nothing but to spend a night out and enjoy himself and afterwards proceed with crashing into his bed. He inched closer to me, “You need to take a break though. Your report is like, 90% done, and that it is extremely well-detailed and comprehensive. I’m sure the mighty heroes of the world will understand if you go home now, rest and enjoy for the weekend, and come back on Monday to finish it up.”

“Do you think that these mighty heroes of the world always have the option to take a break on the weekends and come back to the job on Monday?” I sassed back as I moved my attention from him back to my computer, searching for more essential information for the team’s next mission. John, not taking a hint that I had already wasted time by talking to him, scooted closer and said, “Well for one, your work does not involve travelling suspects and mercenaries. You’re computer ain’t going anywhere, you know?” as he brushed a strand of hair that has fallen from my ponytail as he explained, “I just don’t want you to overwork yourself. I really care about you, Y/N.”

Creating some distance between me and him, I looked at him pointedly and told him, “I get that you may be worried about how I overwork myself, but I’m okay. If it ever gets too much, I will take a break. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to finish this research and report so that I can go home and get some rest. Unless you’ll help me in accomplishing this task, then I suggest that you just leave.”

John looked like he was in disbelief, but he quickly masked up what he felt and just walked away from my desk and awkwardly waved as he headed for the door. “What a bitch..” I heard him mumble lowly, not having enough strength to say it directly in my face — for in doing so could get him fired.

Following John’s departure, I was able to work peacefully and productively. Gathering and verifying information, confirm tipped intelligence, compiling these into an extensive and coherent report. As I was re-reading once more the final product of my long hours of labor and hard work, I stretched my arms up, hoping to provide some relief to my aching back. 

“Mr. Stark would like to ask if he can swing by your office, Ms. Y/n,” the voice of the A.I. startled me briefly, but it somehow also brought me back to my senses. Wanting to look decent and not like I was mere minutes away from passing out, I quickly removed the hair tie from my ponytail, fixing up my hair as I replied to Friday, “Yeah, he can come up.” As I was done attempting to look presentable, it wasn’t even a minute until I heard the office door open and the man himself, Tony Stark, did walk in — wearing a tight dri fit shirt and sweatpants. 

“Good evening Mr. Stark, was there anything I can help you out with?” I watched as he walked around the office, as if he was checking out if everything was in place — as if he had been there before and was making sure that things were the way he once envisioned. He settled down on an office chair, opposite from where I was sitting down.

Putting his chin on his hand as he crossed his legs, he stared at me curiously and intensely as he informed me about his sudden visit, “Was walking around the office wing when Friday informed me that you were the only employee left in the building. So I thought I’d drop by and see as to what was the reason as to why you were still working late and not going about with your weekend plans.”

I let out a sigh I did not know I was holding — probably out of relief that I was not in trouble — before sharing with him the reason, “I was just finishing up the final touches on the researched information for your mission next week.” He looked interested in that and rose to his feet and made his way to where I was sitting. “You mind if I take a look?”

I shook my head no and started to get up from my seat, when he placed his left hand on my shoulder, pulling me down to remain seated. “Stay,” he requested as his right hand operated the mouse in order to inspect the document opened on my computer, “I might have some remarks or questions about what you have researched.”

Beginning to feel a bit of uneasiness, I tried to fill him in about some parts I thought he was confused or curious about — judging by how he spent some time longer on certain pages compared to the others. “You did a good job, Y/N. Without a doubt next week’s mission would have already failed without what you have done.”

Avoiding his look and our close proximity, I shrugged off the compliment by responding, “Um, thank you. But it wasn’t just me, you know? Some other researchers also helped, I merely just organized and arranged it, Mr. Stark.” His hand still on my shoulder moved to turn me so I was facing him, he sat down on my desk and begged to differ, “I don’t think you would have been the overall head of the research department if all you did was compile shit, right?”

Fiddling with my fingers, I halfheartedly agreed with what he said. Looking up, I saw him cross his arms and his face lit up, as if he had remembered something he forgot to mention. “Which reminds me, I do need your help in researching something. Think you can handle it?” I was able to conceal my surprise, what was it he needed help with? And most importantly, why would he tell me about it now? There are procedures if an Avenger needs something to be researched relating to their work. But I could not bring myself to question him, so instead I buried those doubts in the back of my head. 

“T-That would depend, I guess? What is it about? And w-when do you need it to be completed?” I couldn’t help but scold myself for coming out as timid and scared. He uncrossed his arms and checked his wrist watch while he answered, “I need it to be completed tonight. Possibly into the morning. It depends.”

My jaw dropped in shock and astonishment. Does he seriously think that a research can be completed in mere hours? But if I had wanted to keep this job, then I had to comply with what he wanted. “I think that it would be a challenge to do so, but yeah. I guess it can be doable. What would the research be about?” I managed to blurt out and started to roll up the sleeves of my white, long-sleeved blouse and preparing to type on the computer.

However, Tony held my hands and placed it in my lap, preventing me from moving towards the computer and looked at me deeply, “It’s gonna be about you, Y/N.” I once again found myself dumbfounded and speechless. Opening my mouth I stammered out, “W-What? Mr. Stark, what do you mean?” 

He chuckled as he brushed the strands of hair that had covered a portion of my face. One of his hands stroking my cheek while the other had a firm hold on both my hands situated at my lap, he calmly said, “It’s gonna be about you, baby. I wanna get to know you better. Let’s start with me finding out what it is you’re hiding underneath all these clothes, hm?” 

As he guided me onto my feet and pushed me against the office table, his lips grazed my ear and he kissed it lightly and whispered, “I like the way you call me Mr. Stark, makes me feel powerful.” His kisses started to descend, his lips leaving a trail in my neck as his hands started to caress my waist. Snapping out of my frozen state, I somehow managed to speak up and attempt to push him away from me, “Mr. Stark, please don’t do this. Please, stop” 

With one hand, he quickly grabbed both of my hands and placed it behind my back. His other hand wrapped around my throat, just where his lips were and hissed out, “Why do you want me to stop, Y/N? Do you not like this, baby?” I shook my head, telling him I did not in fact like where this was going. He scoffed, “I think you do. You like the idea of someone taking you in your office, the place where you spend most of your days in. Can’t imagine you getting laid frequently with how busy you are, baby.”

Tears were slowly streaming down my face, trying to wiggle away from the hero that everyone adored and respected. He pushed his body into mine, causing me to stumble which he used to his advantage by lifting me up and sitting me down on the desk. His legs wrapping around mine, effectively trapping me, he lifted my jaw and looked into me as he smirked and said, “Tell you what, if I search you up down there and find that you aren’t wet, I’ll let you go. Think that’s fair, baby?”

He did not even wait for me to answer as he made quick work of removing my skirt as he knelt down on the floor. After unzipping my skirt and discarding it to the floor, he chuckled upon seeing that I was wearing red, lace panties. “For someone who claims to not want this, you sure as hell came prepared.” His hands were then fondling my thighs as he kissed both my kneecaps and requested, “Open those legs, baby girl.” I shook my head and tried to cover my intimate area with both my hands. This evidently displeased the billionaire as he harshly placed his hands on my knees and threatened me by saying, “Unless you want to walk away jobless, then I suggest that you fucking open your legs.”

Filled with fear and horror, I reluctantly opened my legs and showed him my lower half. He showed his appreciation by chuckling darkly and immediately ripping off my panties. Just as I gasped with what he did with my piece of clothing, he brought one hand to my entrance and scooped some of the juices that my body was involuntarily producing. “Well what do you know, you’re not just wet. You’re soaking wet,” he bragged as he used his other grab my leg and stretched it out sideways, giving him more room to work with. “Time to start our research on you, baby.”

As he slowly inserted two of his thick fingers, I could not hold back the whimper as he ruthlessly moved his finger in and out of me. “Please, Mr. Stark, don’t do this.” I pleaded, hoping that his conscience would slap him and somehow get him to stop. But shortly after saying that, I let out a moan of pleasure as I felt his tongue lick my bundle of nerves.

“Just stop resisting, baby,” With his mouth still attached to my pussy lips, he used his other hand to fondle my thighs — hoping to rub off the tension within me. I threw my head back as he thrusted his fingers hard and sucked hard enough that I forgot my earlier concerns of how I was at first reluctant in giving in to him. I threaded my fingers into his hair, pushing his face closer, urging him to continue with what he was doing. He complied and proceeded to focus his sucking my little nub while he added another finger inside before managing to go at even a faster pace than he previously was.

“Fuck,” I exclaimed, “I’m close.” Right after saying that, Mr. Stark abruptly stopped his actions. I looked at him, and there he was licking off the residual juices off of his fingers.”Can’t have you finishing just on my fingers, baby. Has to happen with me inside you. But before that,” he stood up and pulled down his sweatpants and briefs, “Show me how talented your hands and mouth are first, baby.”

Before I could even process what he said, my body responded to the words that just left his mouth and I was pushing him away in order to make room for me to work and dropped down on my knees. Despite being of average length, I took note of how he had an incredible girth. With one hand fondling his balls, the other swiped the precum that was leaking out and spread it around the tip. He let out a loud groan as I then opened my mouth and captured his length.

“Yes, that’s a good girl, baby,” he complimented me while stroking my hair and later on gathering it all up in order for him to control the pace and speed of how I was sucking him. I glanced up at him just as I started gagging around his cock and fondling the rest that failed to fit in my mouth. “Do I taste good, baby?” he teased me while probably noticing that I was struggling not only to fit his entire length in my mouth, but also to please him.

A gurgled yes was the only reply that I managed to get out and he suddenly pulled out of my mouth and quickly put me back into my feet. He ripped off the blouse that I was wearing and briskly unclasped my bra. I watched him intently as he sat down on the swivel chair where I spent most of my working hours on and called out for me, “As much as I love how you please me with your mouth, it would be a waste to not cum inside you. So come over here and ride me,” he demanded as he patted his thighs.

I slowly began to walk over him and climbed over his legs. His smirk widened upon seeing me slowly get into position to ride him — with one of my hands holding onto his shoulder and the other one holding his cock up, I sank down onto him fully. The action might have taken the superhero back as both his hands flew into grasping on my hips and he threw his head back in pleasure.

Moving in slow, circular motions I found myself moaning and panting loudly, breathing out words of praise that had stroke the ego of the superhero. He brought his hand to my clit and he rubbed me fast enough that got me to stop riding him because of how intense the pleasure was. Mr. Stark’s dissatisfaction with what I did was made evident by him slapping my ass with enough force to push my chest into his and reprimanding me, “Did I fucking tell you to stop? No! So keep riding me, you fucking whore!”

I let out a whimper as he once again slapped my ass cheek and rubbed me even harder and faster. Placing both my hands near his collarbone, I began to ride him even faster and started to feel the release begging to come out. This pleased him as he stopped his assault on my ass and began to twist and pull on my nipples. The simulation proved to be too much for me that my head fell into the side of his neck and I began to trail kisses on there and suddenly let out a loud scream as I had suddenly reached my climax.

“Fucking hell, you’ve become even more tighter,” Mr. Stark sounded like he too was already on the verge of reaching his climax. Both his hands then met my hips once more and he started to bounce myself on his cock, disregarding that I could have been sensitive, hoping to finish inside of me. “I told you that you wanted this. That you needed to be fucked hard. So much for the “I don’t want this bullshit,” huh baby?” He mocked me as he noticed the stray tears that were falling on my cheeks as I felt that the stimulation was too much.

“I bet I can make you cum again. That by the time I release my load deep inside you, you will also be creaming over yourself.” His overconfidence was once again being made evident and determined to make his statement true, he began to wrap his mouth around my nipple and one of his fingers was shoved right into my asshole. It might have been the sudden intrusion on my backside, or the feeling of his warm tongue on my nipple, or the fact that his cock was being rammed in and out of me at a dangerously quick pace, but I found myself squirting all over both of our legs.

“Fuck, baby, that’s a good girl,” he moaned out as I also felt him release his juices inside of me. He stopped his licking, fingering, and maneuvering of my body as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled my head to lay down on his chest. We both took this time in order to calm down and catch our breaths. His one hand was playing with my hair while the other lightly ran up and down my spine. 

With his cock planted still deeply in me, he made me look into his eyes as his hard and demanding tone vanished and instead was replaced with a soft voice accompanied with a gentle look in his eyes as he said, “You did very well in accompanying and complying with my research, baby.”

His praise made me smile and I once again placed my head by his shoulder and briefly closed my eyes — still not having fully recovered from our sexual activity — when what he said caused me once again to be speechless and shocked, “Get ready because in a few minutes I’ll once again be conducting research. But I was thinking about conducting it in a different venue.”

[itsclydebitches]

So was Summer just a test for ozpin then? The idea would be that ozpin never once met a silver eyed warrior until summer for reasons, and then he seen summer hurt salem somehow and realized that silver eyes can hurt salem? But now the issue is that we dont see any lasting effects that summer has done to salem. Unlesd salem is hiding some dangerous All Might like wound, theres zero evidence that scer eyes can do anything towards Salem, because of the fact that Summer rose exists.

So now its either, summer rose did some damage to salem or she did very little damage to salem in which both cases only tells ozpin that salem can be hurt but not defeated. And we've never been told that salem can't be hurt.

I wrote the previous ask about this incorrectly: yes, presumably Summer (not Ruby) is the first SEW that Ozpin encountered since Maria’s days as The Grimm Reaper, which makes a decent amount of sense considering how rare the trait seems to be. I mean, SEW are literally legendary. If they were at all common then we’d have found a number of other people with silver eyes through our visits to each kingdom and the ability wouldn’t be presented as some crazy magical thing that Qrow has to assure Ruby is actually real. The idea that Ozpin has only known of three SEWs in the last hundred years or so isn’t terribly far-fetched based on how that trait has been presented. 

There’s an assumption here though that I don’t agree with: “and then he seen summer hurt salem somehow and realized that silver eyes can hurt salem?” Ozpin doesn’t need to see Summer hurt Salem to come up with the theory that silver eyes can hurt her. After all, the fandom came up with that theory without Salem suffering any damage. The logic - though not necessarily correct - appears to be fairly sound: 

Information #1: The power of silver eyes hurts/freezes/destroys grimm 

Information #2: Salem fell into the grimm pool and became a creature of destruction just like the grimm, she has a clear connection to the grimm around her, and now physically appears to be rather grimm-like herself

Conclusion: The silver eyes may be able to hurt/freeze/damage her in the same way it does her minions 

Ozpin had both those pieces of information and was thus potentially able to come to that conclusion without ever seeing a SEW attack Salem. That’s what would make it a theory as opposed to a fact; why he’d go slow and not claim he had a plan when Ruby asks, rather then saying, “Oh no. I 100% know how to defeat her because I’ve seen irreputable proof in the form of your mother launching an attack.” Ozpin presumably hasn’t seen that, he’s just working with a hypothesis here, and these kids don’t want “maybes,” they want certainty. Sadly, he can’t provide that yet. 

Which leaves us with the question: Why didn’t Ozpin have Summer attack? I’ve seen a number of people raise this as evidence for why he can’t possibly think the SEWs are the key - otherwise he would have used the one he already had at his disposal - but what people fail to take into account here is Ozpin’s character. That is, he would have viewed Summer as a person, not a tool for him to use as he pleased. This is ‘Let them be kids as long as they can’ Ozpin. ‘Don’t tell the world about Lionhart’s betrayal and ruin a good man’s legacy’ Ozpin. ‘I don’t want my children to fight a war’ Ozpin. ‘You can turn back if you still choose’ Ozpin. ‘I’m going to give Pyrrha a choice up until the very last second’ Ozpin. He has NO desire to use people as experimental weaponry, so let’s consider what he’d need to do to make Summer into a willing ally instead: 

Tell this new student at some point that her eye color gives her crazy, legendary powers that any normal person in this world would think is a made up fairy tale. Hope she doesn’t crumble under that info. 

Tell her about the war so that she knows the extent of this threat and who she is expected to fight. Hope she doesn’t crumble under that info too. 

Tell her about Salem’s immorality, a secret Ozpin has trouble giving even to people he’s known for years. Hope she doesn’t give up/betray him like everyone else. 

Train her enough so that she can use her silver eyes at all and, preferably, use them on command to attack Salem with. 

Come up with some sort of plan other than ‘Chuck Summer at Salem and hope for the best’ because if things go south she’s dead and Ozpin isn’t really about sacrificial Hail Marys if he can help it 

And he could help it because this was a time of peace. The kingdoms were getting along, Salem was quiet, and Ozpin had faith in the protection his schools offered. All of this would have been pre-Fall of Beacon leadup and, frankly, based on our timeline Summer didn’t live that long. She went to school, spent a few years (at most) doing work, had Ruby, and died 4-5 years later, far as I can tell. So if we take Ozpin’s character into account, I think it works to theorize, “He might not have gotten to [insert steps 1-5 here] prior to Summer’s death.” What if he decided not to tell her about the war and her eyes until after she’d graduated? Let the kid be a kid through her education and then bring her into a war. What if Ozpin struggled to tell her about Salem’s immortality like he clearly struggled with Qrow, putting it off until it was too late and Summer was gone? What if Summer knew almost everything but then she got pregnant with Ruby? Is Ozpin really going to send a pregnant/new mother on a likely suicide mission? Or Summer herself said no, not while I’m taking care of my family? So let’s wait again, then Summer dies. What if Summer knew everything, was trained in silver eyes, had Ruby, was 100% still willing to go and try to defeat Salem, but Ozpin still told her to wait until they had more knowledge, some proof, at the very least a Plan B? (Something that may be the most likely given Salem’s comment about how Summer thought she could defeat her too. Summer clearly knew something about this battle.) The points is that Ozpin is all about waiting. He takes things as slow and as careful as he can under each circumstance, and Summer’s circumstances looked a whole lot better than the Remnant we see now. Ozpin might have assumed she had her whole life ahead of her and the defenses he’d built would not fail them, so let’s not chuck her at Salem just yet. Give it until Summer is a stronger, more mature huntress in her 30s/40s and her children have grown up enough to take care of themselves. Then we’ll think about you trying this experimental attack. 

But Summer dies, Ozpin never gets to see if a SEW is the key... until he finds out that her daughter inherited the ability. Ruby is already on Salem’s radar and is throwing herself into fights, so let’s keep her safe at Beacon and give her training now, not in two years. But there’s still peace, the schools still seem safe, so he encourages others and himself to let Ruby enjoy her childhood... until it all comes crumbling down again. Months later Ozpin’s school is gone, the relics are in danger, and Ruby herself is demanding to know right now what he plans to do about it all. “I don’t know” would be a pretty honest answer. 

Which, as another anon brought up, is speculation. It’s a theory based on what we know about the timeline, silver eyes, and these characters’ personalities. The takeaway is that I don’t think RWBY has backed themselves into any corners yet. There are still plenty of ways they can take these pieces and paint a picture where Ozpin is smart (figured out a possible way of attacking Salem), was compassionate (going to ease the SEWs into this horror as slowly as he can), but was nevertheless screwed over each time by unforeseen and terrible outcomes: first when Summer dies, then again when Beacon falls. 

[sikereviewdotcom]

strawberry shortcake s2 ep1 - horse of a different color

this one was suggested by someone who couldnt keep their mouth shut and not sing the strawberry shortcake intro theme in the middle of our economy class

no one wanted to hear that, but they  went ahead and then i actually followed up on that train of thoughts i remembered about the fucking cartoons and i knew it pronto: its a must-see shit its like slightly above the level of magical school bus series, but the final rating is for the fin not the beginning so lets begin this horseshit:

were reviewing “horse of a different color”, it focuses indeed on strawberrys horse, honey pie pony (its her entire damn name, how sweet right? like all of them, i got diabete from this review but its the cost of maintaining this blog anyway, the kids are playing together on a that tree having fun jumping around like chimpanzees hooba hooba but sadly our filly quickly realizes she cant play king kong with them and keep falling on her ass,

yet since theyre all retarded or young (id say its a fifty-fifty case for them kinda normal ig, i mean they ARE literal 6yo) they try several ways of getting her up on that tree, not thinking how to get her down if they ever were to succeed (good for them: aint happening) its child labor too btw, from an horse still same deal what if honey pie fell down on them? crushing them corpses with her mighty pounds? the findus company would be delighted to hear such news, im sure its some quality (sweet ass) horse meat

once it all fails she understands a horse isnt meant to climb a tree, too big too fat its four legged, not even entertaining the relationship giraffes have with trees

but it aint over, then (after a talk with herself) hp hears the laughters of a bunch of kids which catches her attention, it always does who can ignore that sorta noise? although she aint annoyed by it shes just into the idea of riding a bike now, shes even gonna get a go at it oh yea thats it we finally found her human hobby gogdamn shes a backward furry

of course it fails aswell since she has no hand for the handle and shes heavy so i guess its the reason why she rides into w/e and cant stop? because otherwise she couldve also just.. actually it makes no sense does it? i mean she couldve easily stopped the ride actually how is that kid bike even holding her? ive never tried putting a pony on a bike for 6 y/o but i doubt about its capacity in not being crushed aswell as i doubt in the kids bones not being severely damaged after a visit under honey pies horsy buttcheeks

but all of that really makes her sad: she cant play with her human friends and shes the only horse around strawberry land or whatever see me tearing it for her, theres so much emotions in this episode especially after that filly trynna get kids to get into some horseplay horseshit like dude theyre only 6, lets go easy on them, might have a problem with the parents of the kids watching this episode no one even thought how fucked up this one part is? sure horseplay isnt only sexual or w/e but it still is the visual of 6yos on all four jumping around and neighing together with their ass a little bit too exposed wow im going on a dangerous road here? aint i? not gonna sue the writers im sure it was their subconscious speaking probably got issues from their childhood, eventually got them sorted out since 2004 what do i know? aside from me not caring

back on track : after seeing horsey being so sad the kiddos decide to get her a horse friend but where the fuck? they got no idea, they are proud nonetheless and go tell honey the good new until they are like “wait but we have no idea where to find horses!” ofc we get a big reveal, some serious strawberry shortcake lore: actually all the horses, ALL OF THEM FROM THE ENTIRE FUCKING PLANET are on one (1) single island: ice cream themed to diversify it all they are just chilling over there in ponyland and for some reason this one here got lost or idk guys she took the boat and checked the rest of the world out as an even younger filly, found strawberry and her friends and decided now she was a centaur  slash humanrry furry human, idk you get it but shes their friend and so on to introduce the concept of an AWESOME island full of equestrian activity and ofc ice cream but its kinda lame because who cares? everythings already made out of food, also why isnt the ice cream melting? its one water? nevermind for the introduction as i was saying, hp sings an horrendous sounding song it deteriorated my ear drums they got pierced or something  or maybe im exagerrating? either case horses cant sing:

so to the ice cream land they go, huh

of course it wouldnt be a big adventure without an almost broken bridge oh no whatever shall we do? could we possibly cross it safely? lets try it out  guys: yay it worked good for us little stress and suspense it was wack how they got honey pie out of the hole her big ass hoove made im mesmerized by the power of friendship and sugar at this point, just in full awe for the rest of the episode probably over dosed on all the ice cream flavoured horseshit, i got some all over my mouth its dripping on my desk i gotta clean that later

next thing we know: horses its all this episode is about (aside from labor) but you see, so far hp would switch between normal human language and neighing well turns out her other fellow equines can only neigh and so they just neigh together while our english well-spoken mammal translates to the moronic kids who just smile smuggly

of course the animals are having a welcome party then, dancing around while the morons are just bored, harsh one being a cartoon character isnt it guys? w/e theyre gonna ask for honey pie to come back home now, convinced that her natural habit isnt her place and she loves them too much to just leave them and never come back and break any plans they ever had together- oh shit looks like shes leaving forever huh? what a plot twist mark that on the bitch quota for today

the first one to leave is the little boy btw, important thing to note: hes the biggest pussy he cant even face reality: oh no, no more pony back time before sleep thats quite a bummer, downer and man how are they going to survive now they got no animal to watch over them? jesus theyre soon, on the boat (idk where they got it from idk why suddenly theyre on a boat because then theyre once again gonna cross that bridge but ok) anyway yea theyre having a relationship crisis during that ship trip yada yada ah and the bridge, because (see i do not call them morons for now reasons obviously they deserve this title not only because theyre 6 but also because they are just daft:) they proceed, once in the middle of the bridge all 4 of them, to stop and wonder

“will the bridge be able to hold all of us? wont it break? damn i wonder if it will crack” and they talks without moving until vlam: a tree comes and breaks it (dont ask) so now theyre in trouble:

back to ponyland: bitch pie realizes how much she misses her actual friends and that she can speak english which her other horse friends cant do so she is special and probably abnormal, shes a big outcat of the pony society and has no other reason but to escape her incoming death sentence for fraternizing with the humans of course none of the second part is true, she just wants to see the kids again so she says asta la vista baby to the neigher team and runs away see, she hasnt taken the boat and yet also arrive to the bridge? why a boat sequence then? i will skip this for now but it WILL play in the rating, imagine im the parent of the youngster watching this crap and i have to endure it

if it sucks this bad and is this illogical i might just get bored and change the channel, idc my progeny aint gonna be watching this in either case, ill make them watch political debates then interrogate them on what they learned after what but it wasnt actual political debates just random furry youtuber venting with their fursona sprites animated and thats how you make your kids retarded, the kick of this joke is that i aint planning on getting any kids but totally gonna make them watch classics too such as the attack of the killer donuts as soon as they reach 6 so they wont be dumb and probably not getting diabete or w/e in their adulthood

then honey pie saves the kids btw all of them, heavy shit

and they all go back to strawberryland, happily after a big “wow i missed you sm, you are my real friends w/e if you dont look like me i aint speciest guys really!” theyre all vegan too btw so this works for them i havent watched enough strawberry shortcake episodes to know if they ever eat meat but i have doubts seeing how theyre into a very cannibalistic diet which include eating dessert when obviously thats what they are at least half part, this cartoon raises a lot of political questions it may have a deeper value than i first attributed to it

the end: another terrible song plays about horseshit and how tasty it is

thats all folks

so the rating: big 6/10, so you know 5/10 if its a decent kid show where im highly eager to click on the x and get back making jams but nah

surprisingly enough, i only wanted to stop watching half of the episode and not the entirity of it so credits for thats since im an adult and not a kid, imagining kids enjoyed this sweet childish cartooness or w/e now why +1? its because of how many political questions it raised, how it made me think about our society and cakes yknow its more than kids having a conflict with an horse it talks about veganism, specism, handicap, cannibalism, the management of the limited ressources were exploiting and so on yea really makes you think, its subliminal messages to make kids smarter: they watch their dessert-imbecile counterparts doing bs and then get it right irl: good  ah- it also makes it better for you when youre watching this with your kid, you suddenly transcend to another level of spirituality, existential crisis activated or at least reasoning mode or w/e youre willing to name this the point is you arent bored still despite all of this i rated it quite low for such a serious kid cartoon what couldve possibly made me tic? 1) kids are morons and cant understand all of this, not clear enough for the targeted public 2) projection onto the characters/dialogues from the writers of their childhood traumas (the horse play event didnt go unnoticed, karren brown) 3) my little pony ripoff 4) its controversial, our society, especially in 2004 couldnt understand the depth of this shit and finally 5) i got so much ice cream flavoured horseshit all over my desk god help me this is so filthy what a fucking mess i would totally recommand it to anyone who feels like being blown away by the statements made in this work of art 6/10 but really we all know in the future, itll be a 9/10, some ahead-of-its-time-crap

tg, out

[avpdpunpun]

i disappeared for 3/4ths a year here’s an update?

its been 4 months since my queue ran out and way longer since i wrote an actual post. 8 months about? i think i last posted when i impulse quit a job that was bad for my mental health and just kept getting worse.

sometimes i wonder when ppl who blog about mental illness disappear if they’ve died. there was a big user i used to follow who did, and i still occasionally think about it sometimes, so i figure its nice to post updates sometimes. and being able to look back on posts ive written and reflect on them/what state of mind i was in can be helpful even if it can be embarrassing/dangerous because its so easy to fall back into those thinking habits 

after quitting my job i did basically nothing for 6 months haha. at some point i managed to clean out my room which i had done the bare minimum on for years because of depression, took out more built up trash than i thought was possible to fit into my small space. its disgusting but the only thing i struggle to keep up with now at least is vacuuming and putting clothes away so my space is a lot cleaner and it makes me happier. your living space can really have an effect on your mood bless you marie kondo

after my post about having an anxiety attack taking my test i got my drivers license in march. i saw the same lady again after going somewhere else and i think she just let me pass because she felt bad haha. i never finished drivers ed and i still get anxiety about driving unfamiliar routes but my skills and confidence have improved a lot. i managed to drive 2 hours to a big city to visit a friend! i literally didnt have a choice in getting my license, but its still something i can be proud of. like, when i have to explain it to people, it feels extremely shitty that i didnt get it until i was 20, and only about 5 months ago too but... for someone who struggles as much as me, i have to be proud of it my small accomplishments or i’ll have nothing.

at some point something in my brain just snapped and i literally havent been able to cry? for a long time in those 6 months i felt like i was right on the edge of breaking down mentally but never actually crossing that line and it was honestly one of the weirdest things ive experienced. i almost wanted to have a breakdown again just to get rid of the feeling and reach a catharsis like... i used to be a fucking crybaby almost but i. cant. anymore. but i think ive mostly moved away from this point... still feel kinda weird tho.

i didnt end up signing up to a local school fo gen eds. its still on my mind for the vague future because there’s topics i want to learn about (psychology, natural resources, languages...) and maybe try to pursue for a career but really i just wanted a way to get out of my toxic house, even if it meant going into debt to live in a shitty dorm. 

in the last 30 days though life has been moving extremely quickly for me. i dont think i couldve lived with myself much longer being a useless adult basically living in my basement bedroom of my parents house, especially with my younger siblings getting nearer to adult milestones, plus my savings were starting to run out.

so literally next weekend, i’m moving out! and i make enough money right now that with the rough budget i have established, if its accurate, i’ll have a decent amount of wiggle room and hopefully wont be ruining my mental health just trying to make ends meet.

it took a long time of searching but i managed to find a job that hasnt made me suicidal and has slightly more than the MIT living wage for my area lol. im a janitor now! we’ll see how long it lasts but a lot of the factors from my last two jobs that contributed to my failing mental health are gone. i rarely have to interact with other people, and if i do its my coworkers, of who i tend to only see for minutes per day, or the other people working in the building i clean who at most i have to say hi and have a nice night to lol. i get to listen to music and podcasts for 8 hours and its very routine heavy. i have to clock out after the 8 hours is up so i literally cant be forced into overtime. a lot of people dont respect cleaning jobs like this but honestly who gives a fuck, its something i can handle mentally and support myself with. its still hard adjusting to 40 hours. i know its the standard, but the standard is rly tough for me, but i think i can do it long term.

all of this has been achieved through sheer self hatred and impulse alone, and im very nervous about moving in with 3 other people even if 1 of them ive known for 8 years, and i dont think its even properly hit me yet. literally cant register that i have to fend 100% for myself but also ill be away from my toxic family! i can bring my cat with me, who before this i got to see at MOST once a week!

a dude ive known online for two or more years is moving to my area too for college and he’s so sweet and kind, i feel better talking to him than i have 99% of people in my life and im so lucky to know him. ive been forced to talk about personal things i was kind of dreading (not his fault, just a result of our relationship going to go from online -> irl and things id have to address beforehand) and honestly i didnt even mind it that much when i just got it over with and talked about it to him! vulnerability is literally the thing i struggle with the most in interpersonal relationships and is a huge block for me in every way and in even the most mundane life situations but like... he’s honestly the best and im getting emotional writing this and its weird af because i straight up dont GET emotional about other people. ive absolutely developed a stupid fucking crush on him recently and i THINK hes been receptive to flirting and i cant tell if he flirts back because we already say i love you and are wholesome af but honestly no clue if he’s into (trans) dudes but honestly? even if it doesnt work out im so happy to be friends with him and im so excited to finally meet him!! i really think knowing him has helped me improve myself 

i’ve always thought that if i could literally just achieve the bare minimum in life that things would naturally get better. like i’m still mentally ill and get paranoid about peoples intentions and i think if my boss yelled at me id have an anxiety attack on the spot. im still depressed and hate that i have low energy and that it’s still rly hard doing basic chores. 

but like a huge part of my problem was that i felt like i literally couldn’t TRY to connect with people if i couldn’t face having to tell them bare info about myself, like “oh i cant drive” or “i dont have a job” or that i was living with my parents but not even making PROGRESS on getting out. like how could i make friends or go on dates if i literally couldnt contribute shit or admit these things i was so ashamed of? a lot of my self image was shaped by this because my entire life i havent been mentally well enough to do as well as i should have.

but like. i feel like im finally doing these basic things!! i dont have to hate myself so much anymore! i dont look badly on other mentally ill ppl who are less lucky than i/havent been able to do those things yet/might not ever and are still in the same situation i was 2 months ago but the self hatred is strong pls understand.

i dont know yet if i could afford twice yearly drs visits for meds or anything and probably not therapy. i dont even know what my insurance is yet haha. but i’ll see

i need to figure out at what point in my life im going to be able to never contact a single person in my family ever again, considering i’ll be a 20 min drive away and they will know the precise location of where i live, and if i’ll ever feel safe enough in society to start hrt but :^) you know :^) i can at least present more masculinely in the meantime!

i dont rly know how to conclude this... i’m not trying to brag either im just very nervous and excited about where my life might be going for the first time ever? maybe? in my entire life? i have no clue what to pursue after moving out, but i can figure it out. and just... that there’s hope even if youre as fucked up and mentally ill as i am lmao!

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: . . . – – – . . . Carly: ? Carly: nodded on your phone Ali: OG 🍑📞 Ali: nah save me Carly: it's pretty lemme just grab a 💄 really quick Carly: what's up baby? Ali: you are and I need distracting Ali: got band practice and I really have to Ali: missed the last two so she's dead moody Carly: go solo ill play a tambourine for you Carly: until you get famous anyway Ali: we'll get you those noise cancelling headphones they give to rockstars kids Ali: then you just gotta close your eyes n shine Carly: aw Carly: you're a 🍑 Carly: but before then I know how to sweeten up rockstars Carly: lots of jd is 🔑 yea so ill swipe ronans & its a party Ali: know that'll go down a treat Ali: almost as good as the ego stroke of calling them rockstars Carly: y you asked me its a not so hidden talent of mine Carly: strokes where needed Ali: 🎨 Ali: alright monet Ali: I'll try not to make it completely boring Carly: i have to take 5 to finish up here or he'll be dead moody Carly: so he's all you have to be more fun than Carly: & whats more boring than a horny lad when ur not feeling it Ali: easy Ali: I remember being that bored Ali: less memory more reliving but shh Ali: all fun and games yeah ✌ Carly: yea Carly: he gets it over quick tho some go & go without getting u anywhere Carly: ha Carly: ive got a home to go to sometimes boy Ali: he's very considerate like that Carly: i wont share it w him too big of a word for rn Carly: wheres this practice @ Ali: 'course not Ali: all he needs to hear is biggest and best Ali: memory serves Ali: in one of the other's garage Ali: so punk rock Ali: I'll come meet you Carly: long as he can call me a slut & I make the right noises it dont matter what I say Carly: thats every lad on here Carly: k well he's done so direct me Carly: u dont wanna meet me outside here Ali: if that's your jam, go off Ali: you mean you don't trust me not to 👊 your mans 😏 Ali: I started walking, call me a pessimist, Ronan 🤷 Carly: yea u kno for a good time call any of these caravans Carly: the old lady w the gnomes is a dark horse like Carly: i don't want u to see me looking this way ty ronan 💘 Carly: so rough about everything Carly: him & u ha Ali: she's living my dream, I remember her Ali: the pink trailer, like Ali: shoulda been going to see her if not you Ali: 🤡 Ali: you alright? Ali: you need a sec or Ali: idk, anything else Carly: her cats are living my dream Carly: lying in the sun all day, getting fat Carly: being loved whenever they ask Carly: i need a drink but im taking all of his its k Ali: duh Ali: only had it slightly better in ancient Egypt, like Ali: forever goals Ali: we'll drink it on the way Ali: need to see where to put their fingers Ali: not code for gay shit but like Ali: also Carly: theres lots they can have some as promised Carly: he owed me for all the 💊 Ali: you're sweet Carly: we can get your gf ☕ to dump it in thats the adult thing to do Carly: trying to make her happy not more mad Ali: she's 17 Ali: she just fronts a good game Ali: suppose one of us should Ali: #badgirlfriend Carly: ur the best wife tho Carly: ive missed u Ali: 😚 Ali: comments like that are why I've deffo missed you more Carly: aw Carly: comments like urs r why ill make today really fun for u Ali: 💚 Ali: we can make anything a party yeah Carly: yea Carly: but u gotta help me carry these drinks to cos i think my wrist was broken from all the coaxing that boy needs when hes been on it Ali: ugh, the struggle is so real Ali: though if you use that as an ice breaker they're all gonna look at you blankly Ali: fucking lesbian priviledge amirite Carly: i bet at least one of them's hurt their wrist trying to get a girl off Carly: half who go to our school r so uptight you need to check for sticks Carly: catholic guilt be like Ali: 😂 real Ali: but you gotta be on my side Ali: already outnumbered Ali: team bi for the day okay Carly: so i can talk about masturbating with my grandma's jesus cross or i cant Ali: you can Ali: that's a story whoevers company Ali: 'cept grandma, obvs Carly: punk rock enough? Carly: if theyre all as scary as ur lesbian im shotgunning more beers Carly: bag of recycling before we even get to the garage Ali: when she cares about the 🌍 Ali: 😍 Ali: they ain't, if we're being real Carly: dont want the earth to die Carly: its so pretty Carly: & fun Carly: k i wont have every can Carly: before we get there Ali: 👼🌟🌈🍓🐰👸 Ali: you Ali: and I'm literally just 'round the corner hold on Ali: not dragging my feet 'cos of you babe Carly: ur too sweet Carly: are you the singer & the guitarist or do they make you just do one cos youre too big of a 🌟 Ali: got it in one babe, I'm relegated to guitar #2 most the time Ali: at least you can own the stage more when you ain't so Carly: ill tell them you need to be 1st guitar & lead singer you're too talented for it to go to waste Carly: its sad Carly: but its cute that youre in a band together Ali: you wanna be backup baby? Carly: yea but i cant 😢😢 Ali: you can when it's just us though Ali: you're too pure for rock n roll anyway Ali: their brand of Carly: how you said that makes me think i need to drink more Ali: it's a good thing about you Ali: just saying though, my voice will be fucked by the end of this Carly: ill get you some 🍯 baby Carly: you can be 👼 again in no time Carly: church ready Ali: only if you coming with Ali: 😈 Carly: only if we do some more sinning first Carly: make it worth the walk Ali: naturally Ali: how we do Carly: k Carly: are all the band dating each other or just you two Ali: 😏 more and more apparent how straight you ain't tbh Ali: currently off again, I think Ali: they've all dated each other though, every which way you can combo it Carly: i have met a lesbian before ur rescued me @ that party Carly: been hit on by lots Carly: i kno they like to date in circles & all kinds of other shapes Ali: I bet Carly: aw don't be jealous Carly: i didnt like it Carly: ur my fave Ali: I'm not Ali: am glad I ain't giving off those predatory vibes though Ali: good to know, like Carly: you give off the best vibes Ali: 👼 energy, baby Carly: 🌟💙 Ali: let's hit 'em with it Carly: yea Ali: after she can drive us to a decent shindig 🤞 Carly: me & a car full of gays Carly: ronan will be in a mood ha Ali: always a bonus Ali: also always in a mood Ali: they really would get on if she could get over the whole man hate vibe Carly: ill bring him to the next rehearsal Carly: he thinks hes got what it takes Ali: 😏 Ali: I'll put my money on Mar Ali: poor boy Carly: steals my 🎸 every time he comes over Carly: i cant be impressed that you can play 2 chords baby boy I'm sorry Ali: 😩💦 Ali: even as relegated #2 I can do more than that Ali: promise Carly: me too & im only groupie #1 Carly: he still tries to teach me tho Carly: so boring Ali: 🙄 Ali: what a dickhead Ali: he just wants to be behind you to 'position' your hands, boys love that shit don't they Ali: I know how to play pool too so get off Carly: we should play my da taught me Carly: make some money & have some fun Ali: I'm down Carly: k Carly: cos i need to buy more 💊s he really did eat them all Carly: 😢😢 Ali: Babe Ali: I know a reliable lad Ali: invite him Ali: make it a party Carly: yea me & him been up since i saw you last how long ago was that? forever it feels Carly: be more fun away from site Ali: damn Ali: how the other half live Ali: I feel like I haven't had any fun since I last saw you Ali: get enough to take the edge of your comedown if nothing else or that'll be rough Carly: i wanted to invite u my baby but u kno how he gets Carly: hates that weve met Carly: ill make you feel good now promise Carly: hes had too much of my time Ali: worried that Imma tell you horror stories like you don't know him? Ali: backatcha 💚 Ali: swear Carly: yea he thinks my head's empty Carly: just a body like Carly: not that weve done school for years together or anything Carly: i kno i dont always go but boy come on Ali: you're miles ahead of him Ali: he only acts like he reckons that 'cos he don't want you coming to your senses and binning him off proper, like Carly: ur lil bro writes & reads better Carly: but hes a smart lil cutie Carly: what am i gonna do move the caravan in the middle of the night? no wheels is there Carly: stuck as fwb til he gets married his wife finds out & comes for me Ali: yeah he likes you too Ali: always chatting on when you coming 'round again so you know Ali: better hang some more, for his sake Ali: I know you got locks Carly: aw i love him Carly: always wanted a lil bro but my rents dont fuck no more so that ain't happening Carly: unless my dad knocks up someone younger Carly: u kno id lock myself out & end up round there Carly: ha Ali: lil blue pills don't fail us now Ali: ick Ali: should go to casa flamenco Ali: don't think she'd steal your stash Ali: oldies always have their own, the real good shit too Carly: that what ur calling it Carly: ill steal hers Ali: exactly Ali: 😍 #babe Ali: ronan who Carly: i do go older but not sure i could handle peeling back the wrinkles Ali: weak 😉 Carly: you seduce her for me, thats love Carly: & you wanna be under her anyway Ali: 'scuse you Ali: I'm happily married Carly: me too Carly: pimping me out to the older generation wasnt in the vows were it Ali: could've been Ali: you know how creative I am Carly: yea i do love that about you Ali: I 👀 you Ali: [runs up and takes some of the shit] Carly: [unnecessarily long hug moment because always] Ali: ['it does feel like forever'] Carly: [just rambling on about how much she's missed her & like all the compliments for how she looks/what she's wearing etc cos again always] Ali: [lbr she'd go all out for rehersals even so it would be a look, Ali lowkey fixing Carly up whilst checking 'cos was concerned but not gonna make it a Thing tm] Carly: [save her Ali she looks like shit rn & your gf don't need to be seeing her like that] Ali: [finishing by kissing her nose 'cos that is a thing] Carly: [😳 but really happy obvs & another hug cos they really have missed each other so] Ali: [walking and talking baby] Carly: [& letting Ali catch up with all the drinks Carly's had] Ali: [giving her the lowdown on the other bitches who are clearly not as scary as kstew] Carly: [you'd think she's not listening because 1. state of her & 2. how distracting Ali is in her lewk but she is] Ali: [is like soz it's boring but I'll make it fun] Carly: [she's like its not you're just pretty & also I'm saving you & making it fun] Ali: ['not about to beg but please do'] Carly: ['knew I should've locked that down in the vows' cos being flirty with it] Ali: ['too late now babe, 'less you make me wanna renew'] Carly: [is just like yeah okay will do, soz kstew but we know its true so] Ali: [turning up to your function, imagine kstews face oop] Carly: [Carly handing the booze out cos she's a babe while kstew talks shit on her by pulling Ali aside like we said] Carly: u want me to go? Ali: [Ali tryna explain but also being kinda over this mood like why can't she be here, u lowkey know why but you know] Ali: no Ali: don't Ali: I'll sort it Carly: k Carly: [Carly just drinking a little bit too hard cos the vibe is wrong & her anxiety don't need this thank you ladies] Ali: [just walking away and being like okay come on let's start 'cos can't argue if you're playing] Carly: [pissing about on some spare instruments while they're setting up cos awks] Ali: I've text the lad Ali: reckons 10 minutes 👍 Carly: 💙🌟 Carly: ty Ali: [ooh crimson and clover 'cos joan did it and it'd be a sexy moment so blatantly directed at carly] Carly: [Carly literally 😍 harder than her gf is, oops] Carly: [& so many compliments as soon as the song is over before kstew can get a word in, god bless] Ali: [gently/not being a patronizing dick with it showing her dance moves and stuff like getting her involved without being like you have to perform now lol] Carly: [k stew fuming like now the WARM UP is done we should play OUR songs we all know the type like excuse you everyone is having fun especially my sweet baby angel] Ali: [being like oh but I just learnt this song it's got a good bass bit we should do that, overruled lol] Carly: [has to go with it cos no argument she can make that won't sound petty as hell and not trying to look like that bitch in front of the squad] Ali: [doing electric feel for the gay sexiness] Carly: [Carly even more into it cos a song she knows cos lets say she don't know the glory of our cat song just because so its such a moment okay bye] Carly: [Marlene calling a 🚬 break immediately after cos fuming & that can also be when Drew comes] Ali: [as if you weren't fuming enough there's how a man here 😍 at your woman, also giving them droogs] Carly: [meanwhile Carly ain't noticed cos sharing a 🚬 with the prettiest & least intimidating lesbian perched on her lap like so cosy....way to kill Ali babe we know she's special but let her know please] Carly: [hops off to get her drugs but still a moment] Ali: [these other girls just stirring the pot rn lmao] Carly: [that girl being like you should come out with us & Carly's like yeah cos she's pure] Ali: you know this one's flirting with you too, yeah? Ali: 😏 Carly: ha Carly: shes nice Ali: yeah Ali: pretty cute Carly: u kno the dealer wants to fuck you tho yea Carly: hes pretty Ali: obvs Ali: his hairs a bit naff but yeah Carly: ur gf is gonna drag him out by it Carly: let me slip him my number first ty Ali: lol 🙄 Ali: better you have his, no Ali: 💊 Ali: idk why she's the fun police today Carly: k good idea Carly: [goes to get his deets] Carly: she's so mad Carly: u gotta love me more when shes not around Ali: i ain't done nothing Carly: shes jealous of me like i am of her Carly: two girls one 💙 Carly: [lowkey flirting with Drew before he gets thrown out] Ali: hmm Ali: maybe you can duel Ali: [helping herself 'cos they clearly got enough to go around 'cos Drew's easy lol] Carly: 😢😢 Carly: you want me to be killed Ali: don't be silly Ali: not very gentlemanly of her, she'd never Ali: for someone so punk she loves following rules you know Carly: y u like her or y ur bored? Ali: [casually loling at her phone like what you think] Carly: [a moment of eye contact soz kstew] Carly: y dont i kno this lad? Ali: idk Ali: he wasn't always that cocky Ali: maybe his pubes came in Carly: ha Carly: ill find out Carly: gotta b known as the school slag not the girl who pissed herself on the stage Ali: more catchy Ali: I get it Carly: u only remember our wedding day i kno but it tends to stick in everyone else's memories Carly: a day of bad vibes Ali: I remember you but not like that Carly: hope its not worse Carly: how you do Carly: [casually taking too many 💊 to deal with the bender she's been on with the gypsies, you know Drew will remember her like this] Ali: nah Ali: you were cute Ali: and nice when all these random english kids showed up Carly: cos you were cuter Carly: im always nice to the pretty ones Ali: 💘 Ali: s'a good line walsh, you get it off him n all Carly: 💔😢 Carly: i love you i dont need him feeding me those kind of lines Carly: we gotta crush some of these tho its gonna take forever to kick in Ali: only joking baby don't be sad Ali: [comes over and helps 'cos why not kstew already furious her band practice has descended into anarchy] Carly: [using a shoe she's wearing for once to crush pills casually but stops to put her head on Ali's shoulder cos is sad lowkey] Ali: [gives her top of the head kisses] Carly: [is smiling again & telling her how much she missed her again and all that good gay content while Marlene fumes in the distance] Ali: [whispers like sorry for the bad vibes and I am gonna fix this 'cos she knows it's been fucked but realistically don't know what she's doing about it yet 'cos where do we stand] Carly: [kisses her on the forehead cos that big brain always thinking & worrying & she know] Carly: u wanna 👃 or 👅? Ali: 👃 Carly: yea dont want a numb mouth Carly: no fun Ali: probably would help my throat but kinda 'bout that smokes and drinks a 40 a day vibe so Ali: soz to my nasal cavity in advance Carly: the 🍯 is coming as promised Carly: [puts enough powder in her hand for Ali to snort, how intimate excuse them like she could have used her own hand or any surface Carly but go off] Ali: you're sweet enough darling Ali: [soz kstew just gals being pals 'cos obvs returning the favour and 'holding her hair out the way' aka stroking it] Carly: [when you more about that intimacy than the drug you're trying to take] Carly: aw Ali: [moment being ruined by some kind of unignorable strop moment from marlene clearly so she has to go and have an argument brb] Carly: should i go now? Ali: wait for me Ali: please? Ali: outside if you like or whatever, I'm being selfish but Ali: I ain't staying either Carly: k Carly: [is outside quietly singing a little mash up of both gay covers while she waits, just little bits of lyrics she likes from each lol] Ali: [not tryna drag this out and clearly we can't let it get to let's break up point so] Carly: lets go have some real fun Ali: [when she comes out, resting her arms on her shoulders and spinning her 'round and 'round like let's go] Carly: [is loving life again bye bitches] Ali: ['we can do anything we wanna' means now but also like always] Carly: [is buzzing because her life is literally so stagnant already like what a welcome premise & hugs her cos that's what she wants to do, always gotta be touching] Ali: [and hand holding] Carly: [complimenting her AGAIN as they going along cos she's a really good singer tbf so] Ali: [chatting away 'bout the kinda music she wanna do and what the band is about and starting her own etc but also about how pretty Carly's voice is and how it's too precious for the stage anyway] Carly: [okay but after they've nerded out over music Carly be like 'wait for me' runs into a shop really quick & buys Ali some honey for real cos she that nerd & presents it to her really happily wrapped in her headscarf or something cos again nerd] Ali: [you know how buzzing and touched she'd be 'cos also that nerd, being like you're such an angel and imma get you something so special etc] Carly: [Carly like you gotta eat it tho & opens it right there like she gonna drip it into Ali's mouth if she don't how gaaaaaay, steals some with her finger too obvs cos cute but also accidentally sexy all the time] Ali: [winnie screeching in the distance] Carly: [gets a phone call from her mum & answers in this state cos no fucks given on either side & then turns to Ali like my turn to take you to a family bbq cos I think the contrast would be hilarious so we should but not now cos give them some alone time @ god] Ali: [is down 'cos she's not a snob unlike someone we know rosalin and she'd be lowkey about it 'cos any excuse to spend time] Carly: [ronan will 100% be there cos hilarious like you gotta fight him Ali tbh] Carly: [just rambling about how much she loves Ali rn though cos always] Carly: 💙🌟🐝👼🚀 Ali: [backatcha and dropping the charity shop plan] Carly: [is so down obvs like little kid levels of excited] Ali: [running thru the streets of dublin like babes] Carly: [god fucking bless] Ali: [charity shop crawl so wild like leave 'em be world] Carly: [like how pure that they think of cat lady Ro & kstew would never bitch] Ali: [probably making friends with all the nice old ladies in there/horrifying the old bitches tho too lol] Carly: [this is why Carly makes my heart hurt cos she'd wanna be friends but would probably horrify lol] Ali: [tbf they are high] Carly: [as per again let them live peeps its summer] Ali: [should steal something but like something really tiny and silly 'cos sinning and stealing from a charity shop is pretty bad in a cute way somehow lol] Carly: [but leaving shoes behind or something cos barefoot life so the universe is balanced] Ali: [and ali would buy stuff for 'em both but making sure carly knows this ain't THE gift 'cos wants to swag that lol] Carly: [okay but can they also come back to buy homewares for the caravan when she gets her own thanks bye] Ali: [absolutely, just window shopping rn how you do like 'when I have my own place' but saying we 'cos #married] Carly: [Ali can actually get one of the actual things when cos its still there, oh my heart]

[all-hail-the-witcher]

questionable government spies: chapter 1

HERE IT IS !!! ah im so excited ;) ship: eventual sprace, platonic ralbert word count: 3025 warnings: mentions and implications that someone has died (but they didn’t actually so it’s okay), a funeral, mourning editing: probably over edited at this point _______________________________ Chapter 1 Even before Albert crashed his own funeral, Race was having a bad day. For starters, he had barely slept at all the last few nights and his days had been filled with unnecessary paperwork - someone dying on the job always required paperwork - oceans worth of tears, and several failed attempts at writing a eulogy. Then this morning the FBI had called him and told him that he was being relocated to Manhattan to work on a new case in Brooklyn which involved hunting down the nations most wanted gang. This was a problem mainly because the director of the New York branch of the FBI, Davey Jacobs, particularly hated Race and Albert after an incident involving the weapons division almost getting blown up by a rogue terrorist when they were 18. Race had gone to make himself a cup of coffee only to realize he had drank the last of it yesterday. Of course he didn’t have any more coffee, it had always been alberts job to go to go to the store - race refused to step foot inside a grocery store after an unfamiliar ortunate incident involving a snake, and air shaft and a broken rappelling rope. But Albert was dead, well maybe. Race had learned to never assume anyone was dead until he saw a body. He had (probably) died last week in an explosion after the pair had succeeded in arresting a group of men who were smuggling excessive amounts of stolen diamonds out of Atlantic City. Why the diamond smugglers had explosives with them and how they managed to detonate them without dying themselves was beyond race, but that was not for him to worry about. He was only a field agent. And to top it all off he had to attend alberts funeral in less than an hour. Race moped around his and jacks and Alberts shared apartment safe house, sipping hot chocolate- which he detested - packing up only the important stuff for his move to Manhattan. Race had never been organized, so back up coms units went into the same box as his and alberts sweatshirt collection, their array of Disney movies, a bag of ammunition, and shampoo. Thankfully, jack insisted on never unpacking, so all of his things were ready for the move. He had just tossed alberts throwing stars into a box also containing two back up guns and several packets of instant hot chocolate - it was Albert’s drink of choice and he didn’t have the heart to throw it out - when he heard the coded ring of the doorbell. Four short rings, pause, one short ring, pause, long ring short ring two long rings, followed by a longer pause. Then two short rings, pause, one long ring two short rings, pause, two short rings, pause, three long rings, pause, one long ring, pause, three short rings. Race sighed, too lazy to tap back his coded response, and called out instead “hey jack” There was the sound of fiddling with the lock and the door popped open a few seconds later to reveal jack, back for the first time in 6 days, looking almost more sleep deprived than race - albert's death had been particularly hard on jack considering that he viewed race and Albert as the older brothers he never had, so he had undoubtedly spent the last week wallowing in an unhealthy amount of misery and tears. He was dressed somewhat somberly in black jeans, a black ac/dc T-shirt and his trademark black vans with doodles on the soles. Someone - probably his best friend crutchie- had advised him to put on a black and white polka dotted tie, which looked comical with the rest of his outfit. “Race, you know you’re supposed to knock back right? Otherwise how am I supposed to know whether or not I’m walking into a sticky situation?” “Shut it kelly” Race mumbled, throwing his and alberts toothbrushes and some toothpaste into the box with the rifles and the hot chocolate. “That was one time” Jack, choosing to ignore race, flopped onto the green couch and peered into one of the boxes race was packing. This one contained advil, a short range radio, several of race’s t shirts, and a pair of aviator sunglasses. “Race, your packing skills are atrocious,” jack mused, “how do you expect to find anything?” “I dont” race responded, throwing several towels into a box with some mismatched silverware. “Alberts job is to unpack.” “Race,” Jack said slowly, sitting up to look at his friend, Race could see tears brimming in the corner of his eyes. “Albert is dead. He died last week. You were there when it happened. We’re going to his funeral today.” Race let out a dry laugh. “See, that's all not entirely true, Jacky Boy. Clearly you have not known Albo as long as I have.” Jack looked at race quizzically. “But hes-” “Don’t they teach you anything in secret agent 101?” Race sighed, picking up a battered copy of the lord of the rings and throwing it into the towel/ silverware box. “The number one rule in this field is don’t believe anyone is dead until you see the body” “But-“ “Have you seen the body?” Jack was silent. “Exactly.” Race taped the last box shut and looked at his watch. “We should head out if we’re going to make the funeral on time. You have your van?” Jack nodded and the two picked up the 7 boxes that race had packed his and alberts lives into. Jacks two boxes were already in the van. Race bolted the door behind them, reenabling the electric shock doorknob on their apartment/safe house. Something told him that they would be back there soon. ••• “Is this really necessary, jack?” Race muttered disapprovingly as they sat in jacks van, jack tying a pink and black striped bow tie around his neck. “Yes race. We are going to a funeral. The funeral of your best friend, actually. You have to look somewhat decent.” Jack gave the bow tie one last twist. “There” “It doesn’t go with my outfit” race commented as he dug three coms units out of his pocket. “Race you’re wearing all black.” “So?” Race handed one of the coms units to jack. “Put this on and don’t take it out” “Why? Our mission in Brooklyn doesn’t start until tomorrow.” Jack was an intern at the agency. He was barely 17, a high school dropout picked up by the FBI because he was the only person who was able to debug all of their computers after a misunderstanding with the Russians. He had been stuck with race and Albert ever since. They were technically supposed to be training him to become a field agent, but due to his inability to stay quiet in high pressure situations - he had gotten them arrested in Houston 2 months ago and they had had to wait a week for the FBI to bail them out - Race and Albert had limited him to the behind the scenes work in the tech van and he occasionally had to don a disguise and bail them out of a sticky situation. “Just keep quiet and keep your eyes peeled.” Race instructed as he opened the door of the van and began walking up toward the church, jack following close behind. The two sat towards the back of the church incase they needed to make an exit. There weren’t too many people there, mostly just fellow agents from the FBI, a few of alberts acquaintances, but no one suspicious. There was a casket in front of the altar, but the lid was closed. Huh, race thought. Maybe he’s finally done it this time. After about 15 minutes, race had given up trying to remember his eulogy, deciding that he would just wing it, when he was distracted by a movement on one of the rafters above him. Race elbowed jack to get his attention and jack followed races gaze upward to the figure crouched on the rafters above them. Race saw jack clamp his hand on the throwing knife he had stored in his belt. The figure attached a rope to the rafter above them and began to descend slowly. “Get ready to run,” Race whispered to jack, as jack took aim with his knife, not to kill, just to cut the rope the person was using. He figure was about 10 feet above them now. Race saw jack pull his arm back, ready to cut the rope in half when he spotted something. “Jack wait” he hissed out of the corner of his mouth. “Look” he pointed up at the figure. jack shifted his gaze upwards at the figure again, following races finger to the person’s shoes and let out a tiny gasp. On the sole of the persons shoes above them was scrawled a single world in large bubble letters, intricately done with several shades of paint. Elbow. Now, to anyone else, that would mean nothing. But, back last year when jack had joined with race and Albert, race had introduced Albert as albo, and jack, being jack, had thought he had said elbow. Albert thought it was hilarious and decided to adopt it as his code name for missions. Then, about 3 months ago they had all had to do a 48 hour stakeout at a factory in the middle of nowhere in Nebraska. Jack got bored during said stakeout and pulled out some acrylic paint he happened to have in his van for some unknown reason and elaborately painted alberts code name on the bottom of his shoe while he had been sleeping. Albert had been quite mad when he woke up, saying that it could blow his cover, but race insisted he keep it because it could come in handy one day. Apparently, that day was today. Albert paused on the rope, turning his face toward jack and race and he winked at them. Race rolled his eyes, Albert crashing his own funeral just meant more paperwork for the both of them. Fantastic. Albert began to swing the rope back and forth until he had gained enough momentum and let go, flipping through the air, once, twice, three times, before landing in a low crouch in the center aisle, causing everyone to look at him rather startled. Race put his head in his hands. Why did Albert have to make such a production out of everything? “Sorry for the misunderstanding everyone!” He called to the small gathering, some of whom were still recovering from shock. “I am in fact not dead, I was just, ah, not where people thought I would be.” Race sighed, shoving a shell shocked jack out of the pew and marching over to Albert, grabbing him firmly by the arm and dragging him toward the exit. “Sorry to keep this short, but we have places to be, you know how it is” race called to the congregation somewhat genuinely as he began to pull Albert toward the exit. Jack was still frozen in shock next to him, mouth slightly agape and race swiftly kicked him in the shin to signal in was time to leave. “Thanks for coming to my funeral!” Albert called over his shoulder just before the heavy church door swung shut behind them. The trio paused on the sidewalk outside of the church, all of them remaining silent for a moment while the sun shone brightly down. Albert pulled the black beanie off of his head and shook out his slightly-too-long reddish hair before looking up at race, who had his arms crossed and was looking at his best friend with one eyebrow raised, and at jack, who was staring up at Albert in disbelief, still mostly unconvinced that his pseudo older brother was back from the dead. “Uh, hey guys” “Really Albert? That’s all you have to say for yourself? No ‘sorry I led you to believe I was dead for a week’?” Race shifted his facial expression into a well practiced glare that he usually reserved for facing down America’s most wanted criminals. “Yeah sorry about that,” Albert apologized, rolling up the sleeves of his black long sleeve shirt. “This was an, ah, unusual situation.” Race refused to back down. “Unusual how?” “Well I may have accidentally stowed away on a ship heading to Alaska after I got knocked out from the explosion and woken up locked in the world’s tiniest prison in a town called Snowfall and had to spend three days convincing the mayor I wasn’t a terrorist despite the fact that I had several weapons on me at the time before I hitchhiked my way back to the states” After years of being friends with Albert, Race was unfazed by this explanation. “And not at one point during that did it occur to you that hey maybe I should get in contact with my best friend so he knows I’m not dead!” Albert threw his hands up in exasperation. “Well it’s not my fault there was no cell reception not to mention that I didn’t even have my cell phone on me and my coms -“ Albert stopped abruptly, finally registering jacks look of ultimate shock. “What the heck is wrong with jack?” Jack took the lull in conversation as a chance to speak up, or try to. “You, you’re not... But you- I thought…. they said that- you were…” “I, ah, don’t think we briefed him about your habit of not dying when you’re supposed to,” race said quietly, all of his previous anger at Albert evaporating. Albert opened his arms, engulfing jack in one of his bone crushing hugs. “It’s okay jack, it’s okay, I’m right here, everything’s fine now” he muttered, absently running his fingers over jack's back. He tilted his head to look at race, “why didn’t you say something to him?” “I didn’t want to get his hopes up,” race sighed. Debating whether or not to tell jack about alberts antideath hobby had been the main cause of races lack of sleep for the last week. In the end he had decided against it, knowing that it would just crush jack in the long run if Albert had actually died. “Hell, I didn’t want to get my hopes up. Every time-“ races voice cracked, “every time you pull something like this, it scares the hell out of me cause I can’t help but think that maybe this time it’s real and it’s happened and my best friend is really gone and so every time I spend hours crying because I don’t want to find out it’s real and then not have taken it seriously” race moved to behind where albert was standing with his arms still around jack, snaking his arms around his waist. “I don’t want to lose you albie” Albert released his grip on jack, flipping around to instead hold race. “You know I wouldn’t do that race.” Race, whose head was buried in alberts neck made an unconvinced sounding noise. He let alberts familiar scent of chocolate and cinnamon gum ground him as he remained locked in his best friends embrace. “Hey, at least I’m in one piece this time,” Albert stated, attempting to lighten the mood. The last time Albert had crashed his own funeral had been just over a year ago, a few months before they had met jack. Albert had gone mia on a mission out in California and had eventually been presumed dead. Well, that was until he showed up midway through races eulogy in a wheelchair being pushed by their boss. Race, who had initially thought that his friend was paralyzed, nearly had a heart attack. Later he was informed that Albert was intact not paralyzed, he’d just had a few cracked ribs, several bruises and a badly torn up leg after a run in with some Russian mobsters. He still had some pretty bad scars from that experience and refused to talk about it. “Wait this isn’t the first time you’ve crashed your funeral?” Jack asked, staring at Albert wide eyed. “Course not squirt. This is, what the third time?” Albert knew Race kept track of these things. “The fifth” Race slowly pulled away from Albert and began assessing his friend for injuries. Despite what Albert had said about being in one piece, race knew that his friend tended to hide his injuries. All race could see though was a fading black eye and some healing knuckles. “Really, that many?” He laughed and jack smiled at him. Sensing that the conversation was headed toward the different times that Albert had in fact almost died, he changed the topic of conversation. “Can we go home now?” “I wish,” Race said, beginning to walk toward jacks van, the other two following close behind. “But the agency transferred us to Manhattan so we have to move, and we also have to start a new case.” “Crap, that means we have to deal with Jacobs,” Albert groaned. “I wonder if he’s still mad about us almost blowing up his weapons lab.” “What?!?” Jack shrieked. “You know, that wasn’t really our fault,” Race tried to reason. Albert laughed and turned to jack, “it was one of our proudest moments.” Then, to race, “What’s the case about, race?” “Some gang. It wasn’t supposed to be until tomorrow, but apparently we got a lead and need to get there ASAP.” Race hopped into the passenger seat, Albert popped into the rear and jack turned the key. “Nice nice,” Albert mused. “Nothing like a good gang fight after you’ve been dead for a week.” Race turned around and shot him a look. “Wait a second, you mentioned that we’re moving?” “Yeah.” “Did you, by any chance, do the packing?” It was a well known fact that race could not pack for his life. Everything went in the wrong boxes and he usually ended up forgetting something. Last time it had been albert's favorite sweatshirt and he hadn’t spoken to Race for a week after. “He sure did” jack responded, remembering the scene he walked into that morning. “Goddamnit, Race” _______________________________ so, what do we think?? this fic is my child, probably one of my favorite things I’ve worked on to date. not sure when updates will be, probably when I’ve decided to stop changing the plot of each chapter lol so maybe once a week?? oh I think the morse code says “hey idiots” I think, don’t quote me on that. im so excited to share this with you guys! once more parts are posted the whole thing can be found under #spyboys, feedback is much much appreciated, esp on this fic, send me an ask/ message if you wanna be on the tag list !!! tag list

@fairly-awkward-trashcan​

@well-the-kids-do-too

@racetrackcook

@bouncyscreamingnewsboys

[softstraykidsimagines]

Boyfriend!Felix Stray Kids

OH BOY

Felix.

The meme himself

The creator of Changpil

I know right here and now this is going to end me

Let’s get started!

His crush on you is so bloody obvious

He’s not the subtle type

That’s not to say he isn’t hella shy with you tho

No no

He’s gonna tease you to no end istg

But he’ll always end up reassuring you that he doesn’t mean it at all and how special you truly are

Just RaNDoMly likes to crush you in a hug

Quoting the meme “that’s my best friend that’s my best friend!!””

Ye he’s very energetic with you

He’s never

NEVER

Going to stop talking around you

Unless he gets flustered with you

And then he’ll sit verrrrry still

Hands on his lap

With his lips pressed together

And owl eyes

0_0

You don’t really get why he does it

It’s cute tho

What you don’t realize is that he’s fighting with every fiber of his being to not scream and dance around because

Holy shit

He’s head over heels for you

He’s gonna try to confess romantically

Pfft like that’s gonna work out

Gonna try to take you to your favorite takeout restaurant and buy your favorite food

And he’s gonna try to stay calm

He doesn’t stay calm

He’ll suddenly blurt everything in one go:

“Soireallylikeyouandivelikedyouforasuperlongtimesoiwashopingwecouldhangoutasmorethanjustfriendssometime???!!!!!”

Basically shouted

And you’re sitting in front of him SH00K AF because

1) he confessed so suddenly

2) he did just basically yell in your face

Needless to say you’re a little lost

And poor Felix

He just looks at you horrified, apologizes for shouting and kinda looks in every direction as if waiting for someone to come rescue him

But he doesn’t get up

And finally lowers his head

“Sorry I was an idiot there…. I panicked…? I don’t know how to think staight with you”

And you’re about to get teary-eyed because BOI THAT WAS SO SINCERE

“I really like you too, Felix” you say beaming

He’s gonna look at you with the happiest smile ever omg

The same expression he had when JYP said they were debuting as 9 that expression gives me life tbh

So there we go! You guys go on a first date and it’s a sealed deal from there!

Dates with Felix

How to put it?

Chaotic? Ye that’s the word

Improvised, chaotic, fun, amazing dates

You’re ready to collapse at the end of it lol

Especially loves to go to archades or a laser tag I LOVE LASER TAG AND I WANT TO PLAY LASER TAG WITH FELIX DAMMIT *ahem* excuse me

Can you imagine running around in a dark room playing against another huge team

Which Felix is in

You don’t really know-how you both ended up on different teams smh

And you round a corner to see him facing you with the slyest of smiles

“Hey y/n! Look, I’ve got a gun!!” And proceeds to shoot you

Earning a yell of anger from you as he runs away laughing his ass off

Isn’t shy about skinship

Holds your hand without hesitation

But if you peck him on the cheek without warning

He’s gonna have a red face

And he’ll slowly melt into a puddle of goo in your hands

Ye he’s soft

Your first kiss is from a dare I bet

“You need to beat me at this game or I get a kiss”

“But you’re really good at this game and I suck!!”

“Exactly! Now let’s play”

He wins but you refuse to kiss him

“I never agreed to your terms, mister”

He pouts like a puppy but you don’t back down

“Fine then” he sulks “I’ll play it your way” and he snatches your food

Crisps, gummy sweets or a churro, he’s gonna take it and run off with it

“HOW. DARE. YOU STEAL MY FOOD! GET BACK HERE” you run after him, and you both get looks from passing people they judgin you hard

You finally catch up to him, huffing and puffing “give it back, dork”

He jumps around refusing to give your food back

You’ve lost all patience by now

You’re practically steaming when you finally growl “give it back you son of a b—“

He kissed you right on the lips, interrupting you

When you part he’s gonna let out a little scream

“I’m sorry I surprised you! That wasn’t at all planned! Can we rewind and start over??”

And then he’ll run away again, panicking.

With your food.

“FELIX ITS FINE JUST GIVE ME BACK MY DAMN SNACK”

Hehe you better wear ear defenders when you meet the rest of SK

They’re gonna scream 10x louder than ever when they see you

Congratulating Felix, warning you not to tell him where you hide your food etc

You know, Stray Kids stuff :)

“Y/n, can you teach us how you keep him under control?” -Hyunjin

“That would be useful but no one can control that hurricane of a kid” -Chan

“Feel free to hit him if he gets too annoying” -Jisung, as felix tries to wrestle him into the ground

“I hope you’re the right one for him, y/n” says Changbin. “He’s a good person, so don’t hurt him; or you’ll have to deal with me” it highkey sounds like a threat, hello Changlix

You two are the couple that don’t know wtf they’re doing half the time

You’re just having the time of your lives being together

Both of you will be lost if the other gets sick

“Is it a cold? Flu? What can I do to help?? And I might need help in helping you...” -either one of you

After many failed attempts at trying to make food or find the right medicine, you’ll just fall asleep on each other, completely exhausted 

Felix can get insecure about his elimination in the 9th cries in 4 different languages 

And sometimes will work himself to the bone 

If you try to stop him he’ll get really defensive 

He’ll push you away 

“You don’t understand! You can’t understand! How can you?! I need to get this perfect or... or.....” 

He realizes what he said and that it must have hurt you 

Even if you keep a plain face and a steady voice, he’ll know that it hurts you 

He’ll just break down in tears 

“I’m sorry *sniff* I can’t even talk to you properly.... I want to get this right, I want to prove that I deserve to be in Stray Kids....” 

You’re crying as hard as he is

Because his pain is yours as well 

You hug him tightly, listing all the amazing things he can do 

And all the things you love about him 

And you’ll repeat over and over how much he does deserve to be in Stray Kids

And that will calm him down 

NO MORE ANGST IM CRYING DONT LOOK AT ME 

He loves teaching you dances 

Not just dances that SK have done, but dances he’s done before moving to Korea 

Will actually interrupt you if you try to tell him that you can’t dance 

“You can. Because I’m teaching you. And i say you can dance. So you can dance.” 

Veeeerrry stubborn  

Tried to teach you to beat box like him 

It doesn’t work 

Sometimes asks for help when he’s learning something new in Korean 

Even if you suck at speaking it he’ll enjoy trying to learn with you 

Isn’t the texting type 

He’ll call/FaceTime you when he knows you’re free and when he wants to update you in the day 

Is the type to yell your name as soon as you pick up 

And you reciprocate by yelling his name 

If you’re in a place where you won’t draw too much attention to yourself 

You both send your fav memes 

Or quote them lmao 

He loves quoting hella old things the other members have said and melts when you start saying them too 

It drives SK up the wall RIP 

You two are in charge of cooking 2-3 nights a week for the boys 

Neither of you know why Chan was so ruddy insistant on it 

But meh you just roll with it 

If you have to cut onions, you’re both gonna start singing Seventeen’s ‘Don’t Wanna Cry’ 

The cooking days can be either a complete success 

Or a total disaster 

There is no in between 

At all. 

But most of the time you guys make a decent meal to feed 8 other hungry children artists so everyone’s happy 

This boy is nervous as fuck to meet your family  

At first he tries to back out of it 

“Ah ye, I think I’ll be sick on that day?” 

“What?” 

“I MEAN I MIGHT HAVE AN APPOINTMENT” 

He sucks at lying 

But he actually gets his shit together when you meet up 

Good clothes, perfect hair I mean he has perfect hair anyway sooo 

And he’s super smiley 

He’s obviously tense 

To you anyway 

But your fam don’t seem to pick up on his nervousness 

And the day goes by smoothly, and Felix finally relaxes 

He’s gonna flip his shit when you ask to come with him next time he goes to Australia 

He’s gonna start planning it immediately 

If his family don’t beat him to it and visit in Korea that is....

Then he stops functioning 

Amazing s/o + family = happiest boy on the planet 

And you’re relatively chilled about meeting him parents 

And they are SO SWEET 

You get along so freaking well with his sisters and he lowkey becomes jealous 

It’s just the most amazing thing for both of you ever 

In the evenings after practice Felix loves to just drift off while you two talk 

From what you did in the day to a random anecdote from a decade ago 

He enjoys the peace of it until he falls asleep 

Will collapse with happiness if you wear his hoodies 

“ITS LOOKS SO GOOD ON YOU” 

“Felix are you seriously crying right now?”

“I’m just so stupidly lucky” 

Definitely not gonna say ‘I love you’ on purpose 

100% an accident 

He’s gonna say it when he’s half asleep, probs won’t even realize that he’s said it until you react 

“Man, I must dead-ass be the luckiest person on Earth to have someone as amazing as you” he rambles. “I love you so much and I just want to tell the world that I do....” 

Leaving you SH00K to the core 

“YOU WOT MATE?” 

If you say it first he’s gonna cry 

Don’t @ me I know he’s gonna cry 

He's probs stolen your food again

And he’s lowkey being a twat 

“If you had to choose your fav food or me, what would you choose?” 

“Seriously? The food, duh” 

“DUDE WHAT? Alright then! I’ll just leave” you drag him back by his arm 

“Noooooo don’t leave I don’t want you to gooooo” 

“Why not?” 

“BECAUSE I LOVE YOU DAMMIT, WHY ELSE YOU IDIOT” 

He’d do that thing again 

0_0 

“Oh my god, Felix I’m sorry it just slipped out” 

“...”

“Felix?”

“I LOVE YOU TOO” he screams 

Once again leaving you SH00K 

And he’ll crush you in the biggest hug ever 

IM SO SOFT HALP MEH 

When SK are away 

Ngl, I would pray for them 

Felix is a whiney baby without you 

Can even be in a grumpy mood 

FaceTimes you in the evenings 

His or your evenings, depending on the time zone

And you two will talk quietly until one of you falls asleep

It’s insanely adorable 

Will actually start dancing in the airport before seeing you because he’s so bloody excited 

And the rest of the boys disown him 

“Who’s that, dancing? He looks like a pigeon” -Woojin

“Dunno, never seen him before in my life” -Minho

Earning a protest from Felix

Your ears will fall off when he finally sees you 

“OHMYGODY/NYOU’REHEREI’VEMISSEDYOUSOMUCHI’MSOGLADTOSEEYOUAGAIN” 

“FELIX SHUT UP YOU’RE RAMBLING AGAIN”

“WHY ARE WE STILL YELLING?”

Changbin butts in “I DON’T KNOW SO SHUT THE FUCK UP”

He’ll go public about your relationship anytime after a year 

In the least flattering way for you 

He’s definitely the guy who pretends to take a photo and ends up taking a video smh 

You’re both smiling at the camera and he’s not taking it 

“Hurry up, man, my cheekbones are getting sore” 

No response from him 

You immediately catch on what he was doing 

“Omg I can’t believe you!!!” 

As he laughs like an idiot 

Will still make sure you’re ok with him posting it tho 

And when he does 

TheInternetHasShutDown.jpg 

You guys will break the internet

There’s not a single person of consequence who doesn’t love you two 

It’s absolutely amazing 

A/N: PHEW! This adorable nugget coming to wreck all your bias lists lmao

Hope enjoy reading! Later :D

[toushindai]

Hades thoughts so far

Art is amazing music is amazing, but this is Supergiant so: duh

I’m not really a person to ask about gameplay on a technical level (this is the first roguelite I’ve played, unless Sunless Sea is close enough to count?), but it’s fun enough? Honestly the need to get past mooks and to bosses with a decent amount of health intact has led me to develop, like, actual strategy rather than pure button mashing. Kudos there, it’s not every day a game makes me do that.

That said, the combat in itself is not highly rewarding to me personally as a player, especially given the extreme difference that good boons/general RNG can make. The one (1) time I’ve gotten past the Hydra so far, my boons were so good that I honestly... wasn’t really afraid of losing, even though it had kicked my ass every single time up until that point. What I’m saying, though, is I’m not sitting down to play because I want the fun of the combat. Either I’m trying to get further than I’ve gotten before, or I’m hoping that someone will say something new to me when I get sent home. The latter is what’s most rewarding to me by far.

But that’s just me as a player. The combat is fun enough, but not what I’m here for.

Relatedly, the pacing. This is a game style that can be very punishing if you’re very bad at it, because you just. keep getting sent home. This is mitigated by the fact that home is where the Being Nice to People Sim portion of the game happens. And for me, that mitigates quite a lot! I love the Being Nice to People Sim portions!! I will say more about them below. But when you finally run out of new conversations at home but you’re still bashing your head against the same boss (or just against Asphodel in general and can I just say FUCK that boat)..., that, for me, started feeling very bad very quickly. It... felt a little like the game saying “oh, you are... worse at this than we anticipated.” So some balance there would be nice. Or rather, it’s very well-balanced up until it abruptly isn’t. I don’t know how one would go about fixing this or if it really is a matter of just gitting gud much faster than I did.

Less careful, but still a little careful, about spoilers below the cut--

But more about Hades as a Being Nice to People Sim With Roguelite Elements.

(Is that rude? Please let me emphasize that I mean it with the utmost affection and if I’m mocking anything, it’s my own priorities as I play the game.)

I want to be everyone’s friend? Zagreus ALSO wants to be everyone’s friend, and he just... goes for it!! He is so polite! So decorous! So sincere! He shows appreciation and gratitude and care for the people who support him and it gives me so many warm fuzzies to be a part of that. So many warm fuzzies. I love it. I am captivated by the dynamic.

I have 16 ambrosia stored up right now, I’m gonna make it rain as soon as new conversations get patched in. Aggressively befriends everyone. Meg will tell me to fuck off, and I will enthusiastically continue not fucking off.

(I love Meg, like the predictable little bi gremlin I am. Raspy voice and a whip? Supergiant is trying to kill me.) (Meg is also trying to kill me, but that’s not working out for her anymore.) (I hope that’s not making her feel bad about herself?? I am concerned.)

I say decorous specifically, by the way, because of the difference in the way Zagreus communicates with the Olympians; he’s more formal and polite. I like that too. It’s proper and composed. I like it.

Some story thoughts--

I think it’s pretty clear that getting to the surface is not going to be The Answer To All Of Zag’s Problems like he is acting like he thinks it is. He’s got a naive side to him, and willful and young, and he’s either not noticing or not thinking about how all the Olympians interact with him more as an idea, a repository for their assumptions, rather than a person. The contrast between their impersonal encouragement and the by-and-large loving dynamics Zag has with most of the people he’s grown up with--I have to think that’s significant, and it worries me that Zag isn’t considering that at all. It feels like he’s hanging all his hopes on this one uncertain possibility, and ignoring evidence to the contrary, and I’m concerned about what happens when reality solidifies and fails to live up to his hopes.

(And this isn’t even getting into that thing I accidentally learned about mythological!Zagreus when I googled the name, insert yikes emoji, that could get interesting)

Am I shipper trash who is absolutely fixated on anything I can get re: Zagreus and Megaera’s relationship, whatever it may be and may have been in the past? *checks* oh boy I sure am

weird exes?? is where I am with that atm? Possibly arranged marriage weird exes???

delicious

I love Meg a lot, I think she has a fuller picture of what Zag’s rebellion means for the Underworld as a whole, and of what’s already going on in the Underworld, and it’s important to her and it’s her job and she’s overworked and all of her overwork isn’t actually holding things together and Zagreus is making it worse. I think she feels kind of an eldest child sense of responsibility and duty to make things work, whereas Zag is the youngest and least mature child acting without considering the consequences.

(so, sibling-like; but still weird exes.) (it’s fine, it’s fiiiine, it’s greek myth)

(and again, this sense of responsibility I see in her makes me worry about how she feels about failing over and over to stop Zagreus)

(I. love. her.)

So as for where I suppose the story is going from here, I think navigation of the various definitions of family (birth family--family that raised you--family of choice) is only going to become more prominent; and I think Zagreus is going to come face-to-face with something that will prevent him from continuing to believe that finding his birth mother (who left him behind and asked her husband to look after... the dog) is a cure-all.

What that looks like in terms of gamplay, though, I don’t have the faintest idea.

[ofcosima]

✗ ┈ oh my gosh, no way that DUA LIPA just walked passed us ! what ? no, that was definitely SORCHA KRAVITZ.  you know, the NINETEEN year old SENIOR at MBHS. SHE has the rep as being the ACTIVIST and it makes a lot of sense. anyone who is FERVID & ALLOCENTRIC, but also TURBULENT & FICKLE deserves that title. for senior superlatives they won MOST LIKELY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD and captioned the song LINK IN BIO - DIET CIG under their yearbook photo. hopefully their dreams to TRAVEL THE WORLD come true after graduation and it’s a good last year in MOON BAY !

hi henlo world !! i’m so fuckin’ pumped to be here ?? kisses & hugs to our lovely admin for bein the goat !! okay so,,, i’m actually not here ?? 1 pm est, and im probably working on my introduction to drama final on monday,, but anyway ! i’ll be here in 1 hour or so,, and smother y’all with my dms ok ? lets move to my precious baby,  sorcha !!

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ *matthew mcconaughey voice* alright alright alright !! i’m gonna try to keep this short,, but i can feel the word vomit,, its so close... u all gonna choke im sorry thats disgusting anyway lmao. 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ staying tru to leo baby dua’s origins, kravitz family moved from kosovo to moonbay when sorcha was five. she’s part kosovan, british and irish !! thing about the kravitz’s that they were so typical. like...,, mom quitting work to raise sorcha, dad @ work from 9 am to 5 pm. everything was simple. a smol house, a few toys to play with,, a wii as a new years present ?? honestly , sorcha never minded the apparent differences of income between her peers & her ! she loved how,, real it felt? they had game nights on every thursday, and movie nights on monday to blow off some steam ! she didn’t even hear one single argument ,, except when mom became too invested in monopoly & accused dad of stealing from the bank, like,  each time they played lmao. 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ they never talked much about dad’s work, or what mom did before they left kosovo. the past was a locked box,, and sorcha didn’t mind it ?

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ growing up, she was a hard one to contain. she would throw awful, awful tantrums,, but then feel extremely sorry ?? like she would be this terrible kid, then cry for ten hours straight in her bed because she made people upset. she would leave smol notes on moms bed,, like never actually apologising, but always showing how much she felt bad ?? a real tempest tbh. 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ had the potential to be the best, but never tried ?? mom ( rina ) ‘s attempts on pushing her to be more competitive always fell short,, sorcha saying she didn’t want her friends to feel bad for losing ?? wtf you lil puppy ?? 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ she was ( still is, but now on different topics ) extremely vocal ?? like to the age of ten,, if she didn’t like something......,, you would know that. if she had a crush on you,, you would know,, because she would tell exactly that ? teacher being a nasty prick ? ? sorcha, ,, thrownin hands,, directly discussin’ the matter like she was a fucking thirty year old lmao.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ around fourteen, mom started workin again, along side papa !! tbh sorcha lo v e d havin the house to herself, because now both mom & dad were working late ,, the rebellious side had no one to restrict her,, yasss bish. she usually spent nights watching criminal minds , law & order : svu , ncis ,, or talking to strangers on platforms like tumblr & twitter. she thinks she grew up mentally a lot during this time, because she got to hear stories of ppl she doesn’t even really know ?? and she got v invested too. a caring babe. always focused on others,, she would occasionally have her friends over , and attend every party moonbay offered. ya gurl lo v e s parties ok

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ so fifteen was hella differen t ?? mainly because.....,, they moved to a huge ass mansion, ,closer to the beach. everything felt so freaking surreal ?? kravitz’s hired a help for the house, got a brand new car for sorcha,, basically made $$$ rain down on her. hella suspicious. so she started to get v passive aggressive toward mom mama and papa ?? snarky comments here and there,, refusing to participate in family activities,, heading out when dad strictly forbids her ?? a tru rebel with a halfass cause.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ this whole emo™ phase gave birth to her label, the activist !! like i mentioned,, she never had any trouble with expressing her opinions,, playin the devils advocate,, this time,,, she gradually started to take it more seriously ?? like as she became less and less interested in mom and dads secret money fountain,, sorcha found herself in problems bigger than her own !! only obstacle was,,, again,, herself

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ her fickle nature never allowed herself to be stay tru 2 one cause, , always finding something brand new to fight for. she had so much on her mind 100 % of the time, and she didn’t know how to silence the voices ?? often failing to express her intense feelings,,  her turbulent side created chaos ,, being sent to the principles office more than twice,, thus she started playing football to channel her inner rage but ooppss, it doesnt work lmao.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ so eighteen,, and she basically accidentally discovered the secret ?? turns out mom & dad used to work for a corrupt ceo back in hometown, and now doing something similar to money laundering for him. ngl this was the last straw for her. like. she is trying to be a decent human being,, make a change? ? run for presidency ?? save the whales ?? smash the patriarchy  ?? and this is her family ? ?this is why she has a chanel bag ? ? u gotta be kidding me

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ SO. i wanna add that she has never had a boy / girl friend, my bi bunny is too invested in the negativity that she just... never tried ?? like,, she is pretty, and she knows she is,, but no one made a move on her. probably because she was super committed in being everyones friend ?? you have a problem ?? come 2 sorcha,, she gonna be the shoulder u can cry on. she has a problem ?? gonna avoid it until it snowballs,,, on relationships shes like whatevers dude im c hill™ and is actually content with it because means she won’t face rejection or betrayal ever :)) but lowkey not content but no one will know bc i lov bottling up !!

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ kinda life of the party ?? but also studious? ? she knows she needs good grades to make her dreams come tru, but also cant bite her freakin tongue and stop from gettin in trouble. stfu sorcha. i need her partner in crime,, because this ho is always,, in t r o u ble

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ daddy raised no bitch :) a fuqing tough cookie :)) if u mess with her friends,, you gonna catch these hands,, real hard

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ooks like she has everything under control,, in reality,, heres a list of them :

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ actually, , ,people may think she doesn’t care at all ? ?except for like,, feminism,, animals,,  , like she has it so good that she doesnt even need to try anymore lmfao no..... baby is a ball of anxiety ,,, died a lil when people chose her for “most likely to take over the world” ,, like... ,, pls dont

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ anyway. she is planning on taking a gap year after graduation because honestly,, she needs a break ok.