#and i don't particularly feel that need anymore
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text

BABY, YOU UP? 彡 Bakugou, Shoto, Dabi, Aizawa
| MDNI - 18+ | WARNINGS :: bakugou x fem!reader, hawks x fem!reader, dabi x fem!reader, x fem!reader, shoto x fem!reader, slight somnophilia!, pet names 'doll' 'baby' 'good girl' 'slut', voice kink, hair tugging, implied d/s in aizawas, praise, oral -> male recieving, possession + more? MINI ONESHOTS. total wc :: 2.7k
⋆·˚ ༘ *REQUEST :: Could you please write a headcannon about you wake the mha boys in the middle of the night because u are horny and wanna fuck but they have a mission in the morning. But reader is being a needy slut and they cant resist her. (pls with dabi,katsuki,Aizawa and maybe shoto or anyone you like). Could u please write is very nsfw/suggestive��👈🙂↔️Thaaank u so muuch! - @carokitten

DABI
This man is knocked out, when he says he is going to sleep, he is going to sleep and not waking up unless it's important. What's important right now for him? Waking up for his mission tomorrow which (to him) is an ungodly time in the morning (7am). What's important to you? Quenching that heat that's blooming in your lower abdomen as you had just woken up from a particularly nasty dream with Dabi. He's dead asleep—sprawled shirtless, half the blanket kicked off, scarred chest rising and falling steadily.
You couldn't help yourself crawl over him, straddling his waist, kissing his neck and tugging at his pants, whispering, "Please, Dabi... I need you."
He groans, cracking one eye open with a lazy smirk. "You’re fuckin’ serious right now, doll? Got a raid at 7 AM."
Your hips grind against him and your voice turns breathy, whispering, "Can’t help it… you’re so warm and I just wanna be full of you…"
His hand grabs your throat gently, lips curling up. "Tch. You’re lucky I like when you beg."
He flips you over, mouth hot on your skin. "Guess they can wait a little longer for me, huh?" And his didn't waste a second longer pulling up your black silk night gown and pulling your thong to the side, arousal connecting to the cotton. The smirk on Dabi's face deepens, "Needy slut, you are," he murmurs against your neck. "Good thing you're all mine."
All you could do was helplessly nod as a whimper spills past your lips when you feel scared hands tightly hold the backs of your thighs, pushing your legs up beside your head, folding your body into a tight mating press. It didn't take him a second longer to take his semi hard cock out. and to push it into your sopping cunt.
A loud moan emits from your throat from the sudden contact, and feeling his cock grow hard inside you, pressing immediately against that soft spot inside your cunt, making your silky walls clench tight around his length. "Fuck," you whimper, trying to squirm away but you couldn't, you were to tight under him.
Your poor body being folded in such a position this early in the morning was not ideal.. but you did ask for it, so you can't do too much complaining. "Ah ah ah," he tuts, slowly thrusting into your pussy, a lewd squelching noise sounding through your shared room. Your knees were already beginning to ache but you can't move, not until he gets off you. "You're going to take all of it, doll. Every single inch of me."
"M'kay," you mumble, whines spilling in with your words, your hair sprawled out on the bed as you could feel a coil tighten in your stomach as he continued to make an absolute mess of you.
Dabi lowers down to your trembling body, tingles were getting sent all throughout your body from the kiss, he was being so rough yet deep. The breath was stolen from your lungs every time he moaned into your own, and you had the same effect on him.
"Such a good slut," he hums against your skin, inhaling your naturally sweet scent.
"Feels s' full though, Touya," you sob. "Don't think I can anymore."
"You asked for this, so you're going to take it all."
BAKUGOU
Bakugou is out cold, his face buried in the pillow and his hair is a mess as he snores very softly, only just a little bit. While you have tried to get yourself to finish, twice, but you haven't even gotten close to how your man does it to you, your fingers don't compare to his own and you weren't going to come down from your pleasure. You weren't, not until you had your release. Katsuki has ruined that pleasure for you because now you can't even do anything yourself anymore, you need to have him help you.
You couldn't take it anymore as a frustrated whimper softly escapes your lips, pressing your bare chest against his back, hand slipping under the covers to palm him.
He jolts awake, confused as he rolls onto his back. "The fuck you doin’? It’s—" Katsuki checks the digital clock on his bedside table and he lets out a sigh. "—3 in the fuckin’ morning, baby."
Two of your fingers hook around his boxers, a pout rising on your lips as you tug gently on the cotton. "I’m sorry... I just... need you... so bad, Kats'."
His breath stutters when your fingers move from the hem, going lower, and trace his semi hard cock causing sparks to flow through his veins at your gentle touch. "You tryna kill me before this goddamn mission?" he says before letting out a deep breathy sigh, his dick fully hardened under your hand.
You were about to say something in reply before you were quickly grabbed by the hips, throws you under him, your breasts squished up against the bed and your legs spread my Katsuki's knees, leaving you completely immobile as you couldn't even attempt to squirm out the position. "Hope you’re ready to take responsibility then, baby."
If there was one thing you knew, it was that Bakugou is rougher when he's tired, less patient with you and he will not stop until you're crying out his name. And that's exactly what he was doing.
Fat, hot, tears stream from your eyes and all Bakugou could do was smirk at the sight. If you wanted to be needy and get fucked, that is exactly what he was going to give you. The only gracious thing he had done so far was putting a pillow under your hips before letting your body rest fully down on the bed. This was more so for him rather than you... he needed a good angle to fuck you good.
Bakugou's mass pressing down against your back. His abs were flush against your back, hands gripping the backs of your own, pressing them into the bed. Bakugou's breath tickled your ear and you wiggled your head at the warm sensation, your core getting wetter, your body trying to squirm away from the imposing hold that he had on you.
Bakugou's hands moved slowly, changing his grip so that one of his hands held both of you over your head, being cautious not to get your hair entangled within the movement. A content sigh leaves your mouth when Bakugou raises his body ever so slightly, trailing his free hand down the expanse of your smooth back before his fingers meet your slick entrance, filled with his cum from previous rounds.
"I'll make sure you're filled up real nice," he mutters against your ear before taking a nibble at the collagen, you let out a gasp at the sudden action.
Then you felt a heavy, throbbing tip press against your clit once more and you moaned from the small touch. You tried to squirm away from the pleasurable cause but couldn't as Bakugou knew your body more than you did yourself, he knew you were gonna try to run from his body due to the pleasure. So, he pressed his weight against you once more.
You held your breath when Bakugou sank his throbbing cock into your spongey walls, his length getting squeezed by every ridge within your soaked cunt. A moan left both of your mouths as Bakugou's length nudged the deepest spot within you.
"That's it, your cunt knows me so well," Bakugou moans, relishing in the way your walls clench him, how could he not want to cum inside, you feel so good. "Still taking me so good, baby." The praise makes your brain go fuzzy, numb from the pleasure. Yes, this is exactly what you needed.
SHOTO
If Shoto is anything, he is 100% a light sleeper, so you can't even get out some enjoyment, so the second you shift from his hold and place your hands onto his chest, he doesn't miss it, slowly he blinks open his eyes. The first thing he can register, is the lusted gaze that has coated your face and the arousal soaking his body, yours and his own.
"Is something wrong?" he asks groggily. You look up at him with flushed cheeks and teary eyes.
"No, I just… I can’t sleep. I need you so bad, Sho'…"
His breath hitches, and his hand instinctively cups your cheek. "You… want to do that right now?" You lean down closer to him, lips barely grazing his own as you nod, grinding hard against him through your panties. Moans string from your moan when you feel him grow beneath you and Shoto closes his eyes, strewn in pleasure an his thoughts about the mission he has tomorrow.
His cheeks tint a soft red as he pauses his thoughts—mission? what mission?—he thinks sarcastically as he pulls your hips down harder. Number 2 heroing can come later...
"Okay. I’ll take care of you. Just try not to scream too loud… we still have to wake up early."
Shoto flips you around, pinning you to the bed with your arms and spreading your legs with his knees before capturing your lips into a deep and heavy kiss. He can feel your chest stuttering against his own with every breath he steals from you, along with the whimpers that escape your lips. Whimpers not only from the kiss but how his clothed cock perfectly slots against your bare cunt.
You didn't know how long you were going to hold out for...
But lets just say he definitely didn't disappoint you.
AIZAWA
With Aizawa, you have to be careful around him, or else it wouldn't be a surprise, you have to be sneaking around to catch him off guard. So here you are, carefully straddling him, pressing slow kisses to his chest while he breaths deeply, still taken over by sleep, completely unaware of your advances.
You suck gently over his abs, then go lower, peppering kisses around and on the tuffs of his happy trail. A sigh of satisfaction leaves your mouth, if you had to do anything for the last time, this would be it because lord, you love his cock (and him).
A shift is felt beneath you and Aizawa's cock jumps beneath your throat before you felt fingers lacing through your hair. Aizawa tugs your hair, lifting your head up from his lower abdomen to meet his eyes, a moan falls past your lips at the gesture, your panties getting further soaked with arousal.
"And what are you doing?" he asks slowly, his voice rough and slightly scratchy from sleep which just made the heat grow bigger. Gods, you love his voice.
A sweet, sinful smile coats your lips and your hand trails down to his sweats, palming his semi-hard bulge through the fabric, "Just want you. Just for a bit. I’ll be good, I promise."
He sighs, already getting hard at the sight of you kneeling between his legs, eyes wide and needy. He desperately wanted to say he had a mission in five hours but he couldn't because he can't resist you, not at all. Aizawa lets out a sigh, mumbling, "What am I going to do with you?" before sitting up, back resting against the headboard.
A sharp tug of your hair from Aizawa caused you to let out a pained moan, sending a pleasured shock to your heated core. Your face only a few mere inches away from his clothed, hard cock. "Fine. But I'm using you. You started this—so you better not cry when I ruin that pretty throat of yours."
"I won't," you say, thighs clenching together, trying to relief the ache in your pussy, arousal slicking your thighs. As your doe eyes stare up into Aizawa's deep slate iris' you couldn't help but a pout befall your lips. "I promise," your fingers playing mindlessly with the hem of his sweats.
Aizawa lets a gentle smirk rise before his free hand cups your jaw, thumb rubbing your bottom lips sensually before slipping his digit inside your mouth. Your tongue immediately wraps around his thumb, sucking slowly. "Such a good girl."
"Now get to work, sweetheart," Aizawa huffs, removing his thumb from your mouth.
Lowering your head, per your control and Aizawa's as his grip tightened around your hair, you pepper slow kisses over his hard cock, feeling the twitch come from his length after every kiss. "Don't tease," he grunts.
The roots of your head began to sting softly but it made you feel so good, and pleasuring Aizawa was more than you could ask for. Taking one last glance up, you watched him swallow the lump in his throat, eyes shut, waiting. You knew that if you pushed his too far, he'd use you in a way that have your neighbours worried from your screams.
The position you were in now, though, is perfect to suck him dry. You tug down the hem of his pants just enough to let his cock loose, long and thick, hitting just at his belly button. Gently, you grip his base, your free hand cupping his heavy balls, squeezing softly causing a a deep groan resonate from him.
Angling his throbbing length towards you, you place a wet kiss on his tip, making sure your saliva drips down, wetting his cock. "That's it, good girl," Aizawa praises, and it only fuels your desire, your lower abdomen fluttering in response, pleasuring him makes you feel pleasured as well, because your oral fixation goes crazy.
Dragging the flat of your tongue up the underside of his shaft, feeling the veins that sprung up to the head of his cock, deep groans are the only noises you hear, along with the wet slicking noises from the contact between your mouth and him. You spread the pre cum spilling from his slit before taking his throbbing length into your mouth. Your tongue swirled around his swollen pink tip before you took his cock further into your mouth.
"Deeper, sweetheart," he says, his hips trying not to thrust into your face. Aizawa was trying desperately not to fuck your mouth, wanting to see your lashes well with tears. A hum is muffled by his dick, the vibrations causing him to let out a deep moan. "Shit," he sighs, fuck.
Aizawa couldn't handle it anymore. If you're going to wake him up in the middle of the night, then you're getting what he gives. You gag on his length when he pushes your head down all the way to his base, your nose tickling his hair around his cock, your hand quickly makes contact with his thigh.
"That's it," he praises, moving your head at a pace he enjoyed, letting him take control. Aizawa started moving more quickly, which made you start crying even more. When you hollowed out your cheeks, he let out a stifled sigh that made him hesitate to approach further. He pulls away from you, his load spilling into your mouth. "Let me see."
You lift yourself up from his cock and stick out your tongue just for him, he lets two of his own fingers massage his cum on your tongue. "Good girl," he praises. "Swallow."
You nod, doing what he says.
"Are you feeling better?" Aizawa asks and you nod.
"Yeah!"

Do not copy, steal, modify, etc. Relogs and like are appreciated.
honey's a/note:: i hope this was okay lmao, there def is grammar and punc mistakes in this but oh well, 3am is peak writing time for me, i should be working on my presentation thats due in a fornight but oh well. if anyone has any other characters for this idea lmk :) or maybe the reverse role 👀 i know that some of these were half asses but ill get back to them i swear
#mha x reader#mha smut#bakugou x reader#bakugou smut#bakugo x reader#bakugo smut#bakugou x you#dabi smut#dabi x reader#dabi x you#touya x reader#touya smut#todoroki x reader#todoroki smut#aizawa x reader#shota x reader#shota smut#aizawa smut#shoto smut#shoto todoroki smut#shoto x reader#shoto todoroki x reader#my hero academia smut#bnha smut#bnha x reader
196 notes
·
View notes
Text
now, I know that this has been my handle on most websites for over a decade, but... what if I finally did away with @birenza
#there was a time when it felt very important to maintain 'brand consistency' across the web#and i don't particularly feel that need anymore#and also if i ever do want that again i kind of want to do it from scratch. new irl name new web name the works y'know
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
brush test slash rendering practice with ayem
#morrowind#almalexia#the elder scrolls#tes#tes fanart#art#id in alt#ok that's all the tags this needs ANYWAY#i started this 1. for experimenting with coloring from dark to light#2. because i wanted to draw someone kind of back turned to the camera#3. rendering practice for hair particularly#4. to go from sketch to rendering rather than doing lines to see if that doesn't smooth out my workflow a bit#5. because i've never actually used this brush past flat coloring#and out of those 1. i don't think i had enough of an idea of the palette or process to jump into dark to light painting so i did scrap that#and go with my usual “flat color with one of the mid shadow tones add shadows add light”#i do think that painting from shadows out is a thing people do digitally i just think this wasn't the drawing to test it on for me#i think i'd need to look at some other peoples processes and start with a more fleshed out idea of where to go#2 and 3 i think worked out. i'm gradually figuring hair out which i think is sick#4 i also think worked out for me which is also sick because i do get caught on lines a lot. they're fun sometimes but i think some drawings#benefit better from not having them and that it might be a bit faster#and of course everything i do is so that i can draw slightly faster and better for next artfight#as for 5. i have mixed feelings on this brush but that might be because i hate change. and also because i started this drawing on the 15th#of november and finished it yesterday. so im kind of just sick of working on and looking at it#it was a valuable learning experience and i think it came out well! i am also going to drop to my knees and rejoice when i can finally#close this file out and free medibang paint from under it so i can work on Literally Anything Else#thank you almalexia for being my test subject i should've used a reference for your armor when i did the sketch but i didn't#maybe the crown looks weird because of it maybe it doesn't. not my problem anymore i can draw other elves again#my art#iiii think i forgot a my art tag last time
114 notes
·
View notes
Text
2025 is off to a great start 🙃
#gonna get a little personal in the tags but i need to get this off my chest#i feel like in the past two months so many people around me have been dying#other than my grandma it was no one particularly close to me - distant coworkers or a friend / family member of a friend#but they all hit hard for one reason or another#and now i found out my 6-month pregnant best friend of nearly 20 years is in a coma in critical condition#i feel guilty because we haven't been talking so much lately#she chose to settle down and have a family and i have no interest in that so we don't have a lot in common anymore#and i feel like we've been drifting apart for years now#but i wish i messaged her more#she's one of the most selfless people i know and she doesn't deserve this#as soon as i saw her husband was calling me i knew something was really wrong#i don't know how to process this#personal
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
what if I change my major again,,,,,
#a bit of a vent im sorry#who likes computer science anyway?#uhhh im having another crisis I think LOL#have I ever explained my full School Situation here before ??#idk#TLDR im was majoring in psychology. had an oh shit I don't wonna do 90% of psych things moment#already had 90% credits needed to graduate by end of year two. might as well tack on another major then#and instead of like... sociology. business. human development family services. I fucking chose computer science.#and im on my computer 99% of the time anyway..#whyyyy#fuck me I hate cs#head in hands#but idk what I want to do thats the issue#and I don't wonna get shoehorned into something I hate#but I feel like im not particularly Good At Anything anymore#like I spread myself too thin instead of committing to Just One Thing#ugh#:(#IDK it just made sense like. it was something I could do to get money#I just think I need to have a proper breakdown over this and get it out of my system
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Yesterday I've been doing some proper physical exercise for the first time since last year and I'm just imagining how proud my f/os would be of me🥹
#it was just a 20 minute beginners home workout and I can feel every muscle in my body now but I think they'd be so happy I pushed through!#I've had particularly Heinz and Maximilian on my mind I think they would be sooo happy that I'm trying to take better care of myself💖#Heinz because he's always there anyway of course but I kind of imagine Max is probably overall the fittest out of my f/os#he seems like the kind of guy who'd want to be an example for his soldiers and always hold himself to the same standards as them#he'd be so supportive and cheer me on and be proud of me every time I get myself to do something😭💖💖#I've never particularly enjoyed doing sports (aside horse riding but in the past year I didn't have time anymore for that bc of uni😭😭)#so I didn't really do anything anymore after I finished school#I started doing simple home workouts last year but in winter my mental health went a little📉 and then I had no motivation to keep going#dunno how long I'll go through with it this time but better than nothing I guess#again with the home workouts lmao bc driving to the nearest gym ain't worth the time for me and I'd need some basic fitness first anyway#I'm doing it mainly for health reasons but this time I'm also motivated to actually get a bit stronger#I don't mind looking like a stick figure and I'm overall content with my body (maybe it could help me to look a bit more masc tho?👀👀)#but I know especially for my posture and such it would be good if my muscles were just a tad bit more developed#my mum was proud of me too when I told her about it hehe :) she works in healthcare she's always a little concerned#she's just a little worried about me getting health issues when I'm older that could be avoided by taking proper care of my body now#I get where she's coming from but it's not easy but at least I'm motivated to try again now :)#selnia talks
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm not gunna maintag this bc I'd feel bad but like. Does anyone else just feel undeniably let down by today's ep? by today's ending? Bc personally I just feel like it was,, anticlimactic.
#xero says things#i entirely respect the va's choices to not do the channel anymore i don't care abt that!#comma. i wish it could have ended in literally any other way#lunar's in space now! that's it the end! we don't know when we'll see them again!#the goodbyes weren't even particularly sad it was just!! it was. so.#i dont know dude. i'm not thrilled#vent#<- i don't . usually post upsetstyle so i feel the need 2 tag for blacklist purposes lol
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
laying in bed with the heat-up plushie I got for Christmas last year and haven't used yet
might post a pic later
(of the plushie)
#keepin' it mellow#blog blog blog blog blog#i need to go to bed seriously early today i need to wake up especially early tomorrow#mhhhh. what else#I'm going to do yoga with two friends tomorrow. i think that makes me a gay best friend or something#also i think i have some kind of eye infection I've got drops and stuff#I don't feel particularly better but at least my eye isn't all red anymore
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
i don't feel like looking for it rn bcus of the mood i find myself in but i need to like. tattoo that post about wishing your mind would be kinder to you and then remembering that you have to do that on my fucking eyelids.
#little rock.txt#venting#it's not even. specific. i've just been in kind of a shitty mood for a few days#like i thought i knew what had triggered it so i walked myself through some thoughts on that#but i'm still just. vaguely pissed off all the time.#i don't feel particularly motivated to write the important things or talk or draw or do fuck all#like i Have done stuff. i did my laundry bcus i have work and if i didn't get a clean bra together my chest dysphoria was going to get Bad#but i've stayed up until 7-8 a.m. and woken up at 2 p.m. both of my days off#i'm supposed to be helping plan a pathfinder mission and i can't think that hard about fucking anything#i'm just tired and angry and trying to keep up appearances bcus i don't want to be tired or angry anymore#but sleeping and trying to nurse myself through my feelings don't Work bcus i'm Not Good At Them Yet#i know people love me and i'm trying so fucking hard to love myself too bcus i don't want to let them down#anyway. sorry. rant over. if you live with me uuuhh sorry i've been like this the last few days. i don't. super want to talk about it.#i need to call my doctors is what i need to fucking do but i'm gonna try to do that after work
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
guys it's time we all talked about your use of the words "young" and "old"
you seem to think. that this is a binary. a person is either young. or a person is old. i am here to give you the joyful news that there is a whole swath of time - the majority of your life, even - where you are no longer young but are also not yet old. something in the middle, so to speak. a..... middle age.........
but seriously the reaction to people calling a 38 year old (which is ridiculous) does not need to be insisting that 38 year old is young (ridiculous in the other direction). like. they're not. sorry. they are nowhere near old but they are no spring daisy anymore either
in summary life does not exist on a strict binary where you are Young until one day a switch flips and you are Old and perhaps it is a minor quibble but i think it would do people good to realize and recognize that
#age discourse#am i gonna regret that tag? probably#i'm in my late 20s. i don't consider myself particularly young anymore#when i consider the amount of life i've lived and experiences i've had and maturity i've gained in the last 5 years or so#it feels like doing myself a disservice and discounting all that growth to group myself with people who are just starting out on that path#like yeah i'm not old or even middle aged but friend i don't think i'm a young adult anymore either. and that is so okay#i don't need to be Young(TM) i'm happy just existing along the axis of maturity+experience inching my way along#without needing a specific word for where i'm at right at this moment#themonster
8 notes
·
View notes
Text

#haven't had energy to log into here because my work has been kicking my ass i'm spending half of my day off laying in bed#i fell asleep yesterday after my 2nd shift in my clothes with no blanket and woke up freezing at 7 am 🤧#i layed on the bed for 5 mins just to regain strenght to do a few things before bed yedterday and got knocked out by the exhaustion 😭#these 2 shifts were particularly hard and i think it had also to do with my coworker suggesting the dumbest thing imo#the dude wanted me to give my WHOLE november shifts to him like...WTF#he said he needed a sum of money for december and like helloo..#what do you think i am doing here?? don't i need money??#i'd understand if he'd ask for a shift or two but whole fucking month the sheer audacity..#i've struggled so much mentally to ge to this point and to be able to get this job even if it's not in my professional field#and it's physically demanding very much and so many other cons#but i've got it and i was happy i got it and to think some stranger thinks#he's more entitled to it than someone else like ??? it's just bizzare to me#he seemed such a chill person before he asked this#and i've spent last 2 work days feeling guilty for protecting my boundaries...#but everybody around me says i did the right thing so i am trying to not stress about it anymore#and i was afraid this would ruin the good work relationship i thought we established but idk anymore#i will be very cautious about him now#tbd
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#update for my friends here#(and then I gotta go read aristotle lol)#I'm doing ok. I think maybe I've made some friends here. particularly a couple of girls on my hall who have been very kind to me.#wish my emotions would come back and be normal#and by 'normal' I mean not just random crying whenever I try to sit still and think for a few minutes.#there's so much happening. my heart is pulled so many ways. I'm not sure how to resolve any of it.#and I'm aching for resolution.#but I think God is trying to show me how much more I still haven't done or experienced#even though a lot of times I feel like I've lived all of life there is to live and there's nothing left anymore.#I wish I had more trustworthy people in my life who are older than me and can help speak into this experience.#I need to call my parents and siblings back home. I miss them.#I keep questioning my decision to come here. maybe I should've stayed home.#I don't know. maybe it's all an exercise in trust.#I'm still afraid most of the time I think. I wish I could put that fear to death. I wish I could just lean back and trust.#everything just moves so fast.#if any of my post-college (undergrad at least) friends would like to give me tips for slowing down and being intentional with life#and relationships and stuff#during this phase of life--I am extremely open to hearing about them!#love you all <3
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
Art school is so completely draining and deflating some times
#don't mind me#I know I haven’t posted in ages#I just need to share how absolutely demotivating having a bad critique day is#it's so frustrating to have spent an entire school year trying to figure out how to win in this class#and I never did#I couldn’t find the groove of what the profs were looking for#and ended up just making a bunch of art that I don’t particularly like or care about#I thought this project was going to go over well...#I was sorely mistaken#the feedback honestly wasn't super horrible#but I feel like people didn't understand the meaning and I wasn’t really given the space to advocate for myself like we usually do#idk anymore#I'm just tired and frustrated#just art student things
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
I'm trying to get back to writing for me and not for notes or reactions.
I mean - I still love the validation, but I think, when I focus on what I know people want to read, I end up crossing some lines I really don't like or personally want to cross.
So - that's why I'm not really writing steamy stuff anymore. I know I've still got stuff that's low heat, like moments in the last Thrall chapter, but I don't feel comfortable going much further past that anymore.
I hope y'all understand.
#musings#psa from bandit#this is one of the main reasons why i'm not writing the nature of soulmates anymore#there were so many steamy stuff in almost every chapter#and i really did feel like it needed to be in every chapter and that y'all would be disappointed if it wasn't#that's also probably part of why agave stuff has taken a back seat because that had a lot in it too although#not to the same extent as tnos#but like - that's kind of a theme in agave stuff sort of#particularly in agathian backstory#so#i'll probably go back to that one just#without as much of that#with that pared down#and i know that's probably disappointing to y'all#but#i don't feel comfortable with that anymore#and i didn't initially and pushed myself to do it#and thought i enjoyed it but#i'm not going to be doing it anymore
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
my favorite ear buds broke and I just spent three feverish hours searching the corners of the internet to find them again
#i think one is coming from overseas? and i bought two more on ebay#i used to be able to get them easy on amazon but theyre not being made anymore i think :(#its okay because im ordering three pairs and i dont usually break them#by the time i need more they will almost definitely be all gone but i think too hard about that i start to panic :)#idk if its the autism or what but listening to music is how i destress and if my headphones aren't Right i will start hitting things#i did restrain myself from spending $70 on the EXACT pair i had (i have different colors on the way)#but if its still there in a few months i might get that one too#aughh its really irritating that i form such specific attachments to things. like i KNOW there are other earbuds out there#but ive had expensive ones and cheap ones and whatever but this pair that i bought from cvs when i was 15#is by far the best i have ever had#and i Do Not fuck around when it comes to that#:( i wish they still made them#im really worried about what im going to do when i eventually break my last pair and cant find anymore#i can handle changing things for fun but when im FORCED to change things i start to feel like i have rabies or something#and when its something so integral to keeping me calm i dont want that to change at ALL#THIS works. so why would i change it or try something else#:((( i feel sick#if anyone is a fellow earbud freak and has recommendations id love to hear them#particularly new/brand new earbuds so i know theyll be made for a while#they don't HAVE to be wired (i prefer it bc they sound better) but they do have to have crystal clear sound#like NO fuzziness or bass getting in the way. i need to feel completely detached from reality#and any feedback or crackling takes me out of that#im very specific though because even the way it sends sound into my ear can be Wrong#oh well :((((
1 note
·
View note
Text
reason why i've been limiting myself to drabbles recently: every time i try to write a short fic that isn't a drabble, i end up writing something that is far too meandering and moody and gets away from me.
it's supposed to be a one shot! porn without plot, even!
brain, you gotta stop trying to slip in that narrative and plot.
#that or i write almost 20k of dean getting gangbanged but i switched tenses so many times that i don't want to post it#it needs heavy editing bc of the tense issues but i've read it so many times trying to fix it i can't see all of the mistakes anymore#it's driving me absolutely bonkers bc every time i look at it i find some new issue but can't find all of them. or put more in!!#there's also a section where i don't particularly like how it's written but i do like dean getting fisted. so.#it feels out of place in the flow and like i'm just trying to cram words in the fic (and fists into dean) and not in a good way
0 notes