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hier--soir · 1 year

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a lover's pinch | four

joel miller x f!reader

pairing: professor!joel miller x f!reader rating: explicit, 18+ minors dni summary: after a conference in new york, you and j miller phd take things a step further. warnings/tags: au, university professor joel, age gap [20 something years diff], ethically dubious relationship due to inherent power imbalance, i think i describe reader as having sweaty palms about 1500 times so it deserves a warning, alcohol consumption, the plight of being a woman in academia, oral [f receiving], unprotected piv sex [IN A BED ??? GASP] for you filthy animals, prone bone, a little roughness and then not much at all, uhhh pet names during sex.... uhhmm intimacy errrrrr.... soft!joel... feelings... okay bye word count: 9.3k series masterlist | main masterlist a lover's pinch playlist a/n: hey folks, thank you so much for all your patience as i took my sweet sweet time writing this. we get to know our prof a little better in this one so a fair amount of dialogue for you but yeah anyways i hope you enjoy it, and i'd love to hear what you think! [and if i Fell Off because of the depression, don't tell me lol] A WORD ABOUT THE TAG LIST: i will continue the taglist for this part and for part five, and after that i will rely solely on my notifications account @hier--soirupdates so pls follow that and turn on notifs to be told when i post writing x this is part four of ALP. you can read the previous parts here: one, two, three.

Saturday.

The conference centre is vast.

A large space that protects you from the threatening clouds that loom over New York City, and exposes you to countless dense conversations.

An NYU teacher’s assistant is glued to your hip, parading you through the centre with a wayward index finger that points out the bar, the room where the keynote speech will be given [large, with an imposing stage], and the room where you will give your presentation [less large, with a far less imposing stage].

Your presentation.

You fight the urge to pull up the email for the thousandth time while she explains how there will be fifteen minutes to set up beforehand, and advises on when the doors will open for guests, and reminds you that you have a strict allotted time of 20-minutes, do you understand?

But the email is branded on the inside of your eyelids after this morning’s flight was spent reading and rereading and rereading the words. So you nod and smile and placate her on the tour of the centre, as you run through it in your mind.

We look forward to welcoming you to NYU’s Annual Classics and Ancient History Conference. Our team was intrigued by the presentation devised around your translation study in Athens…

“Did you hear me?”

You wish she wasn’t dressed so casually.

Loose balls of lint are collected on the back of her cardigan like trinkets, weighty and threatening to fall off in a sort of bread crumb trail behind her every movement. It makes your dress feel all the more serious, all the more formal. Navy blue and a little tight, with sleeves that slant across the middle of your bicep and a hem that cuts modestly across your lower thigh. Professional, smart, sexy, but not too sexy. You and Nora spent two hours at the mall picking it out last weekend. And you can see people in suits, in blazers, in dresses, everywhere you turn, but your eyes keep returning to the TA’s cardigan. Little pills, sad morsels of broken fabric.

She says your name sharply.

“Yes,” you snap to attention, and clock her poor attempt not to roll her eyes. “You were saying?”

“It’s an open bar,” she continues from a few steps ahead, slowly back away while raising her voice to be heard over the countless others sprouting across the room. “And food is served after the Keynote.”

Finally free of her and her cardigan, you scale the edge of the hall, curious eyes glancing across faces familiar and not. You notice some other postgrads from UNE, and some professors from your alma mater. But it isn’t until three hours into the conference that you notice him.

You’re in a painfully long conversation with Professor Carmichael, an ancient history department head from Boston, when you notice them.

“Well you see,” he’s saying, slowly. “The First Roman Triumvirate was very unique. Surely you agree with me there, my dear?”

“Of course,” you nod amiably. A waiter floats past you holding a tray of glasses. You grasp one with a grateful smile, and turn back to face him with a sip of cold white wine moving down your throat. “The Big Three, it’s all very interesting. Although I must say, I am personally more interested in the second triumvirat—”

“Oh they all say that,” he waves his hand. “Everyone is so taken by Antony and Octavian that they forget about Crassus! So tragic.”

“A very tragic death,” you offer an exaggerated frown. “I agree.”

Carmichael hums, eyes narrowing as if you’ve said something wrong. Sipping your wine, your eyes float over his shoulder, determinedly trying to spot any sign of food, gaze spilling across countless faces and tables and waiters and professors until one set of people makes you pause. Wild dark hair atop a floral dress floats in your vision, her pale hand hovering over the sleeve of a tall man in a suit. You watch the backs of their heads; the way the woman tilts her chin upward to speak to the man and laughs at what he says in return. That laugh. You frown, and feel yourself take a step forward, a step in their direction.

“Is something the matter?” Carmichael asks and you halt, flash him a sweet smile and shake your head.

“No,” you rush, practically tasting the opportunity to escape the conversation. “I’m sorry, Professor, I thought I saw someone waving me over. If you don’t min—”

“Always so many people to talk to at these things,” he says in a sing-song tone of voice, smiling obliviously. “All in due course, dear. You’ll find them later I’m sure.”

It’s not until fifteen minutes later that the tap comes on your shoulder. You turn and feel relief wash over you as you come face to face with Rachel, with her tangle of curls and bright orange dress. But then a jolt shudders through your frame, for you spot the man accompanying her; the man you watched her traipse around the room with, the man in the sleek black suit—Joel, hovering a step behind her.

“Rachel,” you blink. “Joel. Hi—”

“I didn’t know you’d be here!” Rachel says. Her eyes are wide, lips pulled back into a crooked grin that immediately sets you at ease. Joel, on the other hand, looks uncomfortable to say the least. You watch him tuck his hands in his pockets and then take them out again quickly, lips pursed together in a tight line as he glances between you and Professor Carmichael.

“Joel,” she grips the sleeve of his blazer and tugs him forward to stand beside her. You watch where her hand grazes him - the ease with which she jostles him around. “Did you know?”

“No.” He stares for a moment, lips parted and eyes darting across your face, shaking his head. “No, I didn’t know.”

“I’m giving a presentation,” you explain quickly, eyes darting between the two of them, fingers tightening around your glass every time your eyes settle on him. He trimmed his beard again; the hairs are shorter, neater—almost too short and too neat for your liking. His shirt is pressed and crisp, shock white beneath the midnight black of his jacket. He’s wearing different glasses. Tortoise shell glasses. Someone clears their throat to your right, snapping you out of your reverie. You apologise quickly, “This is Professor Carmichael.”

“Of course,” Joel nods, stepping forward to grip the older man’s hand. “Good to see you again, Professor.”

“And you, Professor Miller,” Carmichael chuckles, patting a shaky hand against Joel’s shoulder. “When was the last time we crossed paths? A year ago?”

“Must’ve been a year,” Joel smiles easily. His eyes slip to look at you every few seconds. “The conference in Ottawa.”

“The conference in Ottawa!” Carmichael cheers, nodding away. A weight sinks in your stomach like a cinder block as you watch the Professor gear up to wrangle Joel and Rachel into another conversation about Crassus’ untimely demise. But then Rachel slips away, called out to by someone across the room. And before Carmichael can open his mouth, Joel is speaking again, that honeyed drawl like music to your ears.

“Excuse me, Professor Carmichael,” he smiles again. Two of his fingers grip your elbow, tugging you a step backward. “Do you mind if I steal my star student for a few moments?”

Joel tilts your body to the left, and then the two of you are veering off into the crowd, wandering through throngs of people, his warm fingers pressed against the soft flesh above your elbow.

“Didn’t know you’d be here,” you say under your breath, glancing around warily, trying to spy any curious eyes that might notice the two of you.

“Could say the same thing,” he murmurs, dragging you to a stop at the edge of the hall with his eyebrows raised. “When’s your talk?”

“At one. Overlaps with the Keynote, which I’m a little relieved about,” you smile, a pinched, tense thing. “Hopefully everyone will go to that, and I’ll have a smaller crowd.”

Joel’s eyebrows raise. You think you notice his shoulders stiffen. “S’that right?”

A persistent pang of hunger stabs through your stomach, you rub a hand over the front of your dress and nod. Curious brown eyes follow the movement.

“Here,” Joel reaches into his pocket and pulls something out. His fingers graze your skin as he tucks the shiny rectangle of foil into your palm. “They don’t put out any food until after the Keynote.”

It’s a granola bar. Peanut butter and banana. You stare at it for a moment, almost dumbfounded by the kindness of the gesture. By how attentive he is; how much he notices without you even having to speak.

“Thanks,” you say. Nestle it into your purse and give him an appreciative smile.

“Sure,” he nods jerkily. Adjusts the glasses on his nose. “I’m disappointed to miss it.”

“Oh?” you blink. Your eyes focus then, flitting downward to focus on the badge hanging from his lanyard.

Joel Miller, Ph.D.

University of New England.

Keynote Speaker.

“Oh, shit.”

“Mhm,” Joel squints at you. “Sorry if I don’t share the sentiment that everyone comes to watch me instead of you.”

“Why didn’t you…” you gape. “You didn’t say you were giving a talk?”

“You didn’t ask.”

“The Keynote speech is a big deal,” you say, as if he wouldn’t know.

“I was their third choice,” he shrugs you off with practiced ease. “First two weren’t interested.”

“Third time lucky then,” you smile, and he chuckles. Someone calls Joel’s name then, and you both spin to see Rachel across the room with a group of people, all eagerly waving him over. Something nasty curls in your chest – something bitter and unwarranted and cruel. You smother it with a mouthful of wine and a soft smile of farewell to him as he turns and walks in her direction.

A hand clasps down on your shoulder and you flinch, turning to see Professor Carmichael beaming.

“Where were we then, my dear?”

You eat Joel’s granola bar at the back of the hall five minutes before your talk and walk onstage with the taste of peanut and banana on your lips, brushing crumbs of dried oats off your fingers.

Fifteen people attend, spotted miscellaneously across the amassed rows of chairs. The slide clicker is damp in your palm, and your thumb hovers trembling over the button, awaiting each moment you need to press down.

“Working alongside some fantastic translators,” you tell them. “We focused on studying the disparities between how Greek texts are translated by men and women. Particularly, we aimed to delve into the way emotive language has been downgraded or elevated depending on the lens through which a text is being viewed.”

Professor Carmichael sits in the front row, those sun-spot covered hands clasped in his lap, offering an encouraging smile as you shift upon the stage. Rachel is a few rows back, and she nods intently whenever you glance in her direction.

“One of our main points of focus,” you continue. “Was to understand points of difficulty in translating while accounting for cultural nuances, and how the context of differing authors can impact upon this. In my next slide—”

It’s as you turn to glance at the display that you notice them for the first time. Three rows from the front, where a group of men sit. Two of them young, maybe around your age. You change your slide and watch them whisper in each other’s ears. One of them points at you. Or not you, rather—your legs.

And you yearn for it to be meaningless. A meaningless gesture between colleagues. Meaningless legs, meaningless dress, meaningless curves and slopes and dips and spins. But as you continue, you know it can’t be. The way they talk through your presentation, as if they aren’t bothered to be heard. The way they leer at you over Carmichael’s shoulder, grinning to each other. Your words in one ear and out the other—simply a talking point for them, a blue dress, something to stare at. Your dress feels hot, tight, and your chest feels hotter, tighter under the lights as those eyes glaze over you. You glance back towards Rachel. She gives you a thumbs up that doesn’t serve to cool your nerves.

“When translating word for word in our field, it’s uncommon,” you stutter to a stop, eyes flashing warily. “Sorry, it is not uncommon to find that narratological creativity dwindles.”

You hear a chuckle to your right and swallow down the urge to shoot daggers in the direction of the sound. “Translators struggle to maintain the in-depth imaginative expression that the original Greek text inspires. But through my discussions with Professor Samaras, we found that…”

It’s in the final minutes that you notice him. Tucked away in a back row of the room, arms folded across his chest. You pause for a moment, words caught in your throat. But Joel merely gives you a short nod. The faintest hint of a smile, of the corner of his eyes slanting upward, and it’s as if a cool breeze washes over you. Hands steady, knees lock, and you push through. You don’t look at any of their faces until it’s over.

And when it is, and scattered applause decorates the air, you can’t help but cast a smile in Joel’s direction. A smile that slips and wavers when you spot the broad expanse of his back, that sharp black blazer, as he slips out the doors without wasting a second.

The rest of your audience follows suit, a slim line that wanders out the doors without a second glance—spare Carmichael, who tells you he was quite taken with how you presented yourself, my dear.

You hear your own name and turn to see Rachel approaching, a burst of floral frock and swinging earrings. Her smile is wide and crooked, and you can’t help but smile back.

“That was wonderful,” she cheers, squeezing your shoulder. “I was so taken by how you spoke about the importance of linguistic quality assurance when translating emotive texts. Brilliant!”

Your face warms. “Thank you,” you shake your head quickly. “It was… thank you. That’s very kind.”

You glance over her shoulder, wondering if he’ll reappear – perhaps share her sentiments, maybe shower you with praise. He doesn’t.

She catches you looking. “Joel was in a rush,” she offers easily. “Lots of people wanting to talk to the man of the evening.”

“Of course,” you swallow thickly. Another smile.

Rachel stares at you curiously. “He’s very impressed by you, you know.” Her voice is warm, gentle—soft spoken like a mother who can sense the slightest flash of insecurity. You cringe immediately, feel your arms cross protectively across your chest. Don’t give the game away now. “Honestly, I think he read your comparative paper on the katabasis three times. Practically raved about it when I asked what it was.”

“Oh,” you blink, shifting uneasily under her gaze. “That’s… wow, I’m flattered.”

“He sees a lot of potential in you,” she says.

“Right,” you nod. “Well, he’s a grea—you’re both great teachers. I’m very lucky to be learning from the two of you.”

She doesn’t speak for a moment, and you fear your face grows warmer in the silence. Can feel the slick on your palms returning, the flash of heat in your chest, the longer you sit in it. You make a quick and tumbling excuse to flee the scene, spitting a mess of thank you so much and just need some fresh air, before you’re stumbling out of the hall and wandering outside on newborn deer legs. You snag a flute of something bubbly off the bar on your way, and find yourself on a secluded bench in the breezeway behind the conference centre.

You sit there alone and watch the grass, the way the light from inside shines out across the green. Feel the chill of the wind slip past you, rustling your hair and raising goosebumps on your bare legs. Sip dry Cava and contemplate how many more of these things you can feasibly imagine attending in your career. There’s a single text from Nora on your phone, asking how the presentation went. You tuck it into your purse, leaving the message unanswered.

By the time you hear the door hinges creak, the glass is near empty. You spy a shadowy form snaking its way down the path, headed in your direction.

“Mr Keynote Speaker,” you hum. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?”

“Funny,” Joel mutters dryly, knees cracking as he falls onto the bench beside you. A heavy sigh slips from between his lips, fingers lacing together in his lap as he gazes across the breezeway. You down the last of your drink and place it on the concrete by your feet. “Needed some god damn peace and quiet. All that chit chat drives me insane.”

You murmur in agreement and stare at the side of his face – the neatened beard, the thick frame of his glasses. Purposeful or not, the side of his body is pressed against yours. Thigh to thigh, shoulder to shoulder – he’s sat directly in the centre of the bench. Heat radiates off his body and it’s almost too warm, and yet you find yourself relaxing against him.

“First time at one of these?” Joel asks gruffly. He’s still not looking at you, his eyes trained on a pigeon pecking at a discarded foil wrapper on the grass.

“Is it that obvious?” you grimace.

“Only because I’ve been to twenty of the damn things,” he says. “Y’learn how to smell the nervous energy comin’ off the first timers.”

“Twenty?” you mutter. Feel your stomach curl and twist at the idea of doing this day nineteen more times.

“Somethin’ like that.” Joel glances at you from the corner of his eye. “Went to a lot during my second degree. Had to get good at talkin’, fast.”

“Ahh,” you say. “So, you weren’t always such a sweet talker then?”

He lets out a low chuckle, as if amused by the thought. “Sweet talker, huh? That what I am?”

You shrug, suddenly emboldened by him following you outside, by how close he is, by how open he seems.

“I suppose,” you say slowly.

“And what gave you that idea?”

“You here alone?” you offer a poor imitation of him, voice low and breathy with your awful take on a Southern twang. “Meet me in the bathroom.” You wink, quietly delighted by the way his lips have tightened into a flat line.

“Funny,” he says again, entirely unamused now.

Something warm shifts in your lower stomach. Something wet—a vivid memory of him on the ground behind you in the bathroom of a bar, of hands spreading you open, of his tongue pressing inside you, of The Eagles playing faintly in the background.

“You do that kind of thing often?” you ask.

“Do what?”

“Approach young women at bars,” you wiggle your eyebrows, smirking. “Rob them of their virtue in the bathroom and then hope you never see them again.”

“You? Virtuous?” Joel rolls his eyes. You can see the corner of his lip curling upward. “Must be gettin’ yourself confused with somebody else.”

“Maybe,” you smile.

“Sometimes,” he casts you a look, after a moment. “Not… often. And not young.”

“Younger,” you counter quickly.

“I didn’t expect you to be…” he trails off and shakes his head. “It’s not a thing I do, alright?”

“Of course not.”

“It’s not.”

“You don’t date then?”

He tilts his head at you curiously, eyes planted firmly on your face now. “Not for a long time.”

“Why not?”

“Been busy,” he grunts, clearly growing impatient by the line of questioning. “Spent a lot of time studying. Working.”

“Where did you study?” you press.

“This twenty fuckin’ questions?” he snaps, reaching up to rub the back of his neck. “Came out here for—”

“You came out here,” you interrupt. “Because I came out here.”

He glowers at you, but doesn’t try to deny it.

“Night classes at Texas A&M for my undergrad,” he grits out. You smile sickly sweet, pleased. “Did my postgrads part time at UT Austin,” Joel says.

Your eyebrows kick up again, the teasing pretence all but forgotten. “Sounds… unconventional?” you offer softly.

“That’s one word for it,” he agrees vaguely. “Spent the better half of a decade at school just to end up teaching at one. Ain’t that somethin’.”

“And before that?” you press.

“Before that,” he continues with a wry grin, one full of distaste and frustration and resentment. “Was a contractor for a long time. Houses, buildings.” He rests a hand against his shoulder, fingers pressing against the muscle there, as if working out a decade old knot.

And for a moment you can see it. Can almost taste it. Collared shirts and glasses replaced with hard hats and hammers and dirt in the lines of his palms. Joel carrying a plank of wood on his shoulder, wearing a toolbelt. Joel on his knees, sweat shining on his forehead while he wields an electric drill.

Your dress feels too tight suddenly. Too warm.

“A contractor,” you say distractedly, and hope he doesn’t notice how your thighs press together.

“Mhm,” Joel nods. “With my brother.”

“You have a brother?”

He ignores that. “Where did you study?”

“San Diego State,” you flash him a grin. “Go Aztecs.”

“Good school,” he hums. “You’re a long way from California.”

Only a little further than Texas, you think.

“You did good up there,” Joel adds.

Your smile dips and wanes into a scowl, uninterested in the change of subject.

“What?”

“It was…” you shake your head slowly, face warming as you glance down to your lap.

“What?”

“It just wasn’t what I expected.” You pick at a loose thread on the hem of your dress. “That’s all.”

“And what did you expect?”

“To be listened to,” you grunt. “Not gawked at by some ancient jerkoffs that were only there to stare at my ass when I turned to change a slide.”

Joel nods, quiet.

“I wanted it to matter,” you mutter. “Wanted to… fuck, I wanted to impress them.”

“I was impressed.”

“Oh yeah?” you snort, finally looking up. “You hightailed it out of there pretty quickly.”

Joel shakes his head and stares back at you, gaze heavy. His hands tighten into fists against his thighs, knuckles lightening to white as he squeezes. You shuffle on the seat—ignore the flare of heat that erupts where your shoulder nudges firmer against his.

“I guess you could say,” he speaks slowly. “I’m tryin’ to keep my distance.”

You arch an eyebrow and attempt to swallow the laugh bubbling up your throat.

“Well, you’re doing a great job,” you smirk.

Joel laughs and your smile falters, mouth going slack at the sound. How rare it is, and how much rarer to have it all to yourself like this. For all of his sharp angles, his sweet talking, his harsh words, and harsher touch—that laugh is the cruellest part.

He jostles his shoulder against yours a little. An acknowledgement; perhaps a glimpse inside. Something that says, I know, I see it, I feel it, I can’t stop either.

“You make it hard,” he says then, and his voice is soft—almost a whisper.

“How’s that?” You match his tone, as if you’re two little kids who’ve snuck outside to share secrets where no one else can hear them.

“You bein’ here,” he murmurs, eyes searching. “Startin’ to feel like you’re everywhere I turn.”

A breeze swims past and you shiver, locks of hair floating in a mess around your face until you pat them down. Joel moves almost imperceptibly, curling his side tighter against yours to shield you from the onslaught.

“I know the feeling,” you admit.

The muscle in his jaw ticks and he clears his throat, looking out across the green again. For a moment the pair of you sit in silence. Not as professor and student, but simply a man and a woman on a bench. Breathing the same air, soaking in a shared silence that only the two of you could understand. And there are so many more questions you want to ask him, so much more you feel compelled to know, but instead you settle for this—sitting on a bench together, shoulders and thighs and chests pressed side to side, two frames moulded around the welcoming shape of one another. For now.

“It gets easier,” Joel says then, jaw tense as he spares a glance back in your direction. “This stuff, these people, all the talkin’.”

You acknowledge him with a small smile, just the slightest twitch of your lip. Don’t bother saying, maybe for you. Maybe for a man.

“You know,” you suck in a breath and give him a lazy smile instead. “I think this might be the longest conversation we’ve had without ripping each other’s clothes off.”

“Mm.” He leans his head back to rest on the wall, eyes focusing up towards the sky.

“I like it,” you say quietly. Hear how vulnerability chimes in your voice – a wobble that begs to be ignored and understood all at once. “It’s nice… talking like this.”

Joel’s head tilts towards you, dark eyes locked on yours. He doesn’t say anything, but you can see that wariness in his eyes. The same wariness that poured out in flecks of brown and amber and gold in the light of your bedroom a week ago, when he told you he was fifty. A hesitant curiosity, an incessant suspicion, a bark of disbelief. You feel the desire to pluck the feeling out of him and swallow it whole. To lock it safely inside yourself and make it so he never has to feel it again.

So you lean in a press your lips against his. Painfully soft, just a whisper of two mouths slotting together. Chapped and dry from the wind, he tastes like bitter sparkling wine. You sigh into him, uncaring. Hook your ankle around his, place your hand on his thigh, and sink closer, deeper.

He pulls back an inch, mouth still hovering over yours, the tip of his nose pressed into your cheek.

“Shouldn’t do this here,” he warns quietly, eyes still closed. His breath is hot against your face, and you inhale the taste of mint and Cava and Joel.

“I know.” You grip the lapel of his blazer and kiss him again. Firmer this time, grazing your tongue along the seam of his lips until he welcomes you inside to taste behind his teeth. The frame of his glasses presses into your nose, your cheeks, and you smile into his mouth. Rough palms and lazy fingertips graze the skin of your bicep, your neck, until they find a home at the nape of your neck. His thumb presses against the hinge of your jaw, hot wet tongue working your mouth open until you’re whining, teeth nipping at his bottom lip and fingernails digging into the meat of his thigh.

Only when you move to press a hand beneath the collar of his shirt does Joel pull back again, this time to stand and take a step away from the bench. A tinge of scarlet creeps its way from the hollow of his throat to the apple of his cheeks. He clears his throat and glances over his shoulder, towards the door. When he looks back, there’s something new there. Some dangerous that flashes in his eyes and lingers when his gaze dances down the curve of your body against the seat.

“Where are you staying?” you ask, breathless.

For a minute he doesn’t answer. Simply stares, contemplating, broad chest rising and falling with shallow breaths. The lenses of his glasses are fogged, and you watch them slowly clear.

Then— “The Pendry.”

Joel reaches into his pocket and retrieves something small and laminated. You take it from his outstretched palm carefully. “Fifth floor.”

You stare at it for a moment. Turn it over in your palm once, twice. Read the room number printed on the key card before tucking it safely into your purse. When you look up again, Joel is already walking back inside.

It’s nearing midnight by the time you arrive at the Pendry – a high rise in Manhattan West, the kind with a fancy lobby and a doorman in a neat black suit. The polar opposite of the hotel where your suitcase lies unopened across the city. You feel out of place in an instant, but you’re still in your dress, and the staff don’t bat an eye at your presence. The key card he gave you is hot where your fingers curl around it, plastic damp and foggy with the sweat from your palms. By the time you reach his door you have to wipe it on your dress before the sensor will recognise it.

A hollow beep echoes through the hall, and his door presses open with a soft hiss.

The room is enveloped in darkness. Moonlight shines in through a slim gap in the curtains, highlighting vague edges of the space. A desk against the wall, a large bed on the left of the room. For a moment you consider that he isn’t here—that he got caught up at the conference, sweet talking into the midnight hour with other professors and alums. You can hear sounds from the street, music and car horns blaring, even from the fifth floor. But nothing else. No Joel.

Tentatively, you take a step inside the room. And then another. Kick your heels off and feel rough carpet hairs sift between your toes. Holding your hands out into the darkness, fingertips ghosting the wall for support, you venture further into the room, only pausing when your shin thumps against the corner of something sharp and sturdy.

You spit a surprised curse and stumble into the wall, hands falling to grip your leg where it throbs and smarts.

“Jesus fuck,” you hiss, smoothing your fingers against the already forming lump.

A lamp flicks on, and the room lurches into view, tinged in a soft yellow light. You jump, eyes squinting against the sudden brightness. Bed sheets rumple and shift, and Joel is frowning at you from his place amongst the pillows, a hand raising to drowsily scratch his chin.

“The hell are you doin’?” he rasps.

Heat flares in your face as you straighten up, mirroring his frown. He moves slow, a sluggish stretch out of bed, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers and a t-shirt, and he looks almost concerned. It gives you pause for a moment, eyes unsure of where to settle, as you note just how much of his body you’ve never seen before. The soft muscles in his legs, the dark hair over tan skin. You can see the slight round of his stomach through the thin fabric of the shirt.

“Were you asleep?” you accuse.

“Thought you weren’t coming,” Joel mutters, and the sound is a fractured medley of words and yawns. You feel a dull pang of disappointment in your chest as you watch him rub sleep from the corner of his left eye.

“Were you hoping I wouldn’t?”

He doesn’t respond.

“You gave me a key.”

“I know,” he sighs.

“Of course I was going to come.”

He nods. Yawns again, hand snaking upward to cover his open mouth.

You turn your back on him slowly. Take a glass from the little kitchenette and let the faucet run a cool burst of water into it. Little specks of water splash up, dotting against your hand. Your feet ache from wearing those damn heels all day, but you wilfully ignore the pain, gulping down half the glass while staring at your reflection in the splashback. Blue dress, hair tucked behind your ears, charcoal smudged around the curve of your eyes.

Joel’s fingers wind around yours, peeling the glass from your clutch so he can steal the final few sips. He discards it on the counter and leans against it. You try to make out his expression in the shadowy light, wiping your water-dotted arm against your side.

“S’a good dress.” He looks more alert suddenly, eyes sharp and focused, wide shoulders squared.

“Yeah?”

“Mm.”

“Didn’t say anything about it earlier.”

“Was tryin’ not to think about it,” he says plainly. “And how badly I wanted to take it off.”

Your hand stills. That misplaced disappointment slips out of the room, an unwelcome third party, and you grin at him. A sleazy, sleepy smile, and walk backwards in the direction of the bed without taking your eyes off of him.

“So take it off,” you challenge.

Your heartbeat is a steady thrum against your breastbone as he crosses the room. Badoom, badoom, no less than three strides and he’s there, gripping your waist to turn you so his chest is against your back.

Your zip is a low whir in the air, spinning downward slowly, slowly, from the nape of your neck to the sloping base of your spine. Deft hands trace skin, grazing every mark, every freckle as they are revealed to him, until the material of your dress is a gaping smile across your back. You shiver as the air rushes to meet your bare flesh, and then careful—cautious—you feel a pair of lips press against the top of your spine, soft pink against steely vertebrae. You say his name, low and surprised, and he doesn’t say anything. Those hands push the dress down your arms, and you watch it tremble and fall, a mess of blue at your feet.

You can hear his breathing; the way it stutters and jumps as he traces the clasp of your bra, the arch of your spine beneath it.

“Take it off,” you say again, and feel a sharp scratch of desperation that perhaps this time he won’t deny you this. This something that you’ve not experienced even once, and yet you find yourself missing.

The idea of his skin against yours is something prophetic, something inevitable, something divine—something determined far before the two of you met in that bar. It’s out of your control or his, irrevocable—a beast bred from desire that claws and snaps at the bars of its cage, calling you kicking and screaming into each other’s arms.

His fingers pluck at the clasp, and you smile. Sigh in relief as your bra hits the floor and the weight of your breasts are borne to the increasingly warm air. Joel is still behind you, still not seeing you. But broad palms splay across your back, massaging and flexing into your skin as they roam your sides, your stomach, up your front to cup your breasts. You gasp, eyelids fluttering as he squeezes softly, palms warm and solid against the stiff peaks of your nipples.

“Fuck.” Joel’s nose buries itself in your hair, his forehead against the back of your head. Your legs shake, and you lean back into his chest, your body a soft and tremulous thing that would surely float away if he weren’t here to hold you up.

His hands are on your breasts, sweet and tender and finally, and you wonder how long this wanting will feel like burning. Like nicks of flame that gloss over you and spit embers at anyone who dares to get too close—at him, sparking and sputtering as they collide in a spitfire symphony. This man who lives set ablaze in his own right. This man who welcomes your flame every time—swallows it whole, and lays kisses against the back of your neck with lips still warm.

Calloused fingers roll and circle your nipples, playing gently, listening for every gasp, every sigh, before diligently repeating whatever it was that called the sound forward. Your underwear is all but ruined, already damp and clinging to the slick skin between your thighs. And you can feel him against your lower back, albeit unmoving—not grinding against you, not pushing you down onto the bed, but waiting – for what, you can’t be sure.

You turn around faster than he can stop you. Hook fingers into the band of your panties and drag them down in a swift movement before straightening, holding his gaze all the while. And Joel—

He looks in pain. Dark eyes lock onto on your face and don’t stray. Don’t dip downward, don’t glance around the room. His hands hang by his sides, palms facing upward in a dejected fashion, jaw slack as he just—waits.

“Why won’t you look at me?” you whisper.

“You don’t….” he shakes his head. “If I look, I won’t be able to forget. And I—I can’t—”

There’s a flash of that memory again. Sweating in the dark bathroom of a bar in Portland. Joel wiping stained lipstick from your chin. The words I’m gonna remember this dripping from his swollen lips.

You take a step forward. Feel your nipples graze the soft material of his shirt. “And what if I don’t want you to forget?”

He says your name quietly, shoulders tense. But when you grip the hem of his shirt, he doesn’t stop you. Rather, he lifts his arms and lets you drag the fabric over his head. You marvel at the bare skin, eyes dancing across jutting collarbones and the soft swell of his stomach. Watch the way his chest rises and falls as stilted breaths flurry inside him before spilling into the air between you. Admire the trail of dark hair that rests between his bellybutton and the soft band of his underwear. His eyes don’t leave your face as you push the boxers down his legs.

“So handsome,” you say and Joel exhales, hands hovering a hairsbreadth from your waist. The weight of the moment hangs heavy between you. This moment of more. To be with him like this feels like more. To be naked feels like more.

You grip his hand and raise it to your breast again. Squeeze your fingers over his. His thumb flicks across your nipple and you gasp. His eyes darken, nostrils flaring as he fights to restrain himself.

“Joel,” you whisper. “Look at me.”

Finally, he does. Those brown eyes flickering downward to rake in the sight of your body.

He’s on you in a second, mouth slanting desperately against yours while his hands drift aimlessly across skin, untethered in their access. Fingers pinching and grabbing and squeezing, teeth searing at your lips, and you gasp as his cock presses against your stomach. The long, thick weight of him, drooling and needy. Your fingers slip around him, rub softly over the underside of his head, the vein on the underside of him. Joel grips your wrist and pushes you backward a step, his lips leaving yours with a wet smack.

“Sit on the bed,” he orders firmly.

You wander backward, stumbling onto the edge of the bed when your calves collide with the heavy wooden base. He watches you, hand drifting to wrap around the base of his cock. He strokes himself gently, black eyes tracing vigilantly over every inch of your body. And you expect him to push you down, to crawl on top of you. Instead, you watch with bated breath as Joel drops to his knees in front of you. His knees crack as they bend but he ignores it, nudging your thighs apart so his broad frame can fit between them. Hooded eyes gaze between your thighs, roaming across all of the bare skin on show. Slowly, he lifts a hand and rests it gently on your mound. Calloused fingers stroke over the dark hair there, stroking through the short curls. You sigh and cant your hips up, but Joel only grunts, his free hand squeezing your thigh to hold you against the mattress.

Before you can process it, he’s leaning forward, nose nestling in your hair as his warm tongue parts your folds. You groan in unison, your fingers carding through his curls to hold him against you. He murmurs something that you don’t quite catch over the roaring in your ears, but you don’t care. Too caught up in a smooth slide of his mouth slotting against you. The flat of his tongue glides up and down your sex, smearing a mess of slick and saliva in his wake. You gasp as it flicks sharply across your clit, your jaw tensing at the harsh sensation. Joel notices—pulls back.

“Tell me,” he urges.

“Slower,” you say quickly, voice feeble and desperate.

“Slower,” Joel repeats with a nod, and he massages your thighs as he licks into you, fingernails scraping your skin as his grip tightens and loosens and tightens and loosens. He traces slow circles around your clit with the flat of his tongue that have you gasping and bucking against his face. And when his tongue presses inside of you, you moan, fingers twisting in his hair and tugging.

“Fuck,” he growls into you, and he likes that. You do it again and his eyes flick open, pupils blown, gaze darting wildly across your stomach, your arms, your breasts, your face – watching, admiring, taking in every detail of the offering that you’ve laid so generously at his altar. The tip of a finger curls inside you and he grins when your thighs tense around him. He rears his head back to watch how you welcome him inside, eyes locked on the way your weeping cunt clenches and drips around one of his fingers, and then another.

“Yeah,” you sigh, nose scrunching at the slight stretch. “Yeah, like that, fuck.”

“Look at you,” he mutters. “Christ.” And then the cut of his wet red mouth is back on you, lips parting to suck against your clit until you’re crying out, voice a hoarse shout as you speed rapidly towards your end.

“Shit, Joel,” you gasp. One of your legs kicks out straight and his hand drops from your thigh, one set of fingers working you open while the other comes up to part your lips, giving himself more access. As he lathes wet kisses against you, the coarse hairs of his beard scraping your inner thighs, you can feel it. That liquid heat that coils and stirs in the base of your stomach.

“Joel, I—ohh—I think I’m gonna come,” you whimper, hand shooting out to grip his shoulder. Your nails dig into the tense muscle there, using the leverage to rut your hips against his face.

He groans into your sex, fingers moving faster, unforgiving against that spongy spot deep inside that sets you alight. His teeth graze against your clit, the lightest brush, and your stomach is tensing, every muscle in your body locking up.

“Give it t’me,” he says gruffly. “That’s it, come on, baby.”

A choked gasp falls from your lips and then you’re coming, twitching against his face, pussy bearing down on thick fingers that stoke you through the high. Your hand leaves his shoulder to grip the back of his neck, holding his face against where you’re aching for him still. Joel moans, a low sound from deep in his chest, dragging his fingers away so he can drink down every heady drop of your orgasm.

Baby.

The word rings in your head, bouncing inside your skull, a fierce ricochet. Baby.

Trembling fingers feather across the cowlick at the crown of his head, twisting and petting soft wayward curls as his mouth pulls back, a wet drag across the skin of your hip. You catch a glimpse of his cock, heavy and throbbing between his thighs.

Joel’s teeth nip at the sensitive skin of your thigh, a sharp pinch that makes you flinch. Tired muscles tensing, face twisting up as he sucks and licks, hot tongue soothing over the stinging red mark. He breathes your name, mouthing the sound into your flesh once, twice.

“I’ve been tryna remember this,” he murmurs. “Only ever had it for a second.”

You whimper as he licks into you again, slowly. And you’re so sensitive, and maybe—maybe—it’s too much, too soon, but he doesn’t care. He grips your calf and tucks it over his shoulder. Holds it there in a vice grip.

“Wasn’t enough,” he says. Dark eyes look up and you’re rapt in them—bound and boneless simply from having those eyes on you you you nothing but you all he sees is you and he loves it, you can tell. Thrives on the way you melt beneath his rough fingertips, the wet drag of his tongue. “Remember that first day in my office?

Remember, remember, remember, how could you forget? I’m gonna remember this this this.

“Yes.” Your leg trembles against the side of face, the coarse hairs of his beard scratching your skin. The tip of his tongue lathes slow circles around your clit. A cruel, leisurely slip of flesh on flesh that has you gasping and twitching beneath his hands.

“I wanted this that day,” Joel rasps. “Needed it. But you were gone so soon, ‘n’ I couldn’t help myself.”

“What—oh fuck—” He flicks his tongue faster, hot swipes from side to side that have your thigh clamping down against the muscles in his neck. Your mind is a blur, eyebrows furrowed as you try to make sense of his words.

“Fucked my fist the second you left,” he growls. “My fingers in my mouth, the taste of you—Christ, couldn’t stop thinkin’ ‘bout it.”

“Joel,” you gasp, impatient. “I—get up here. Please, just—”

Strong hands push you up, push you back, further onto the bed until your head hits the pillows. His hair is a wild fray around his head, knotted and mussed from your fingers raking through it.

“I don’t have anything,” he says.

“I don’t care,” you say.

His knees press onto the mattress on either side of you and his eyes glance down your chest before he grips your waist and he’s turning you. Your stomach meets the sheets and you move to arch your back, to tilt your hips up towards him, but a firm hand rests on the small of your back, and keeps you down.

“Like this,” you hear him say. “Trust me.”

His chest is flush to your back, and you can feel him there, knuckles brushing the flesh of your ass, spreading you apart so his cock can press inside. The pillow swallows your wet gasp, and your eyes pinch shut against the stretch as he sinks deeper and deeper. Every delicious inch splits you open wider, further, carving out that space that’s just for him, and it’s more. Your vision blurs and you clutch at the sheets, fingers tangling in linen as Joel’s breathy groans fill the air.

“God,” he grunts. “Always so fuckin’—tight.”

You cry out as he begins to move, pressing you further into the mattress. The stretch of him is so broad—so deep—it has hot tears pricking in your eyes. Your legs are straight, almost clamped together, leaving the smallest gap for him to break through. His chest melts against your back, sweet sweat sliding from skin to skin. And his stomach is soft against the base of your spine, but his teeth are sharp where they nip and smart against the skin of your shoulder, your neck. He sets a pace that has you biting down into the pillow to muffle your groans. It’s almost overbearing how good it feels, how he surrounds you. Flat against the mattress, there’s nowhere to hide from the pleasure, no way to twist or curl your body away from how good it feels. A choked moan is muffled by the pillow.

And then his fingers are in your hair, dragging your head up.

“What are you fuckin’ doin’?” he grunts. You gasp, eyebrows furrowed and mouth ajar as you take take take. He pulls your hair harder when you don’t respond, presses his chin against your shoulder, lips curling against the skin of your neck as he speaks. “Don’t do that, not here. No more hidin’, I wanna fuckin’ hear it.”

He grips your hips and drags you upward so you’re on your knees, bracing against your forearms, and then his hand snakes around the front of your body, fingers dragging between your thighs as he begins moving again.

“Oh fuck,” your eyes widen in surprise, jaw hanging slack as he rolls his finger in expert circles over your clit. “Fuck, fuck.”

“Yeah?” he gasps.

“Fuck,” you repeat, mewling every time one of his thrusts sends your face forward into the pillows. “Yes, oh god.”

“Yeah, you fuckin’ like that.” Each word is punctuated by a thrust of his hips. “That’s it, lemme hear it.”

“Joel,” you cry out, voice cracked and broken. “So good.”

“I know, baby,” he grunts. “I know.”

“You’re so—deep,” you gasp.

“I know,” he soothes.

“I missed this,” you babble, mouth moving faster than your mind. “Missed you.”

“Christ,” he spits, pulling you up until you’re leaning against his chest. His fingers are a blur against your clit, cock a fast wet shift in and out in and out.

You tilt your head back against his shoulder, mouth hanging open as you press your ass back into him.

“Missed me?” Joel says, and his cheek is warm against yours. Wet. Your face is wet. “Gonna show me how much?”

“Yes,” you moan. His free hand grips your breast, squeezing and pinching.

“Need to get my fuckin’ mouth on you,” he growls.

“No,” you beg. “Joel, don’t—fuuuck, fuck, don’t stop.”

“Wanted to,” his hips stutter against you, losing momentum for a second. “Jesus, wanted to take my fuckin’ time.” You snake a hand behind his head to grip his hair again, to press his face into your neck. His mouth latches onto your skin, spit mixing with sweat where his teeth and tongue trace your roaring pulse. Your thighs are trembling, knees weak and wobbling against the mattress as he pistons into you, unrelenting, unforgiving.

“I’m—” your eyes start to roll back. You can feel your back arch and twist against him, toes curling into the sheets. “Oh my God.”

He says your name in a panicked hiss and pulls out.

You gasp at the loss, eyes flying open in alarm. He moves your body, not wasting a second as he lowers you down onto your back presses inside again, hands gripping the underside of your knees, holding them against your chest. Practically bent in half, you tremble in his grasp, eyes blurred and wet as you sob his name.

“Lemme have it,” he goads you, voice a dull vibration against your chest. “Bein’ so fuckin’ good for me, yeah, just like that.”

And it feels like something splinters within you as heat floods your senses, vision whiting out until all you can see is the soft edges of his curls against your chest, the wet smear of his tongue over your nipple. All you can hear is the words he speaks against your skin.

I’m close, he warns, and you say yes, say please, say I want it, because you do.

“Where?” You call the shots.

And you say, Inside, say, I want it, because you do.

Because you want everything. Everything he has and whatever dark matter is left after that. And everything is a naked thought, a stark realisation, a frighteningly bare streak of madness that zips down your spine and melts in your belly, and you can feel yourself tightening around him with the enormity of it. Can feel your body squeezing and sucking and holding it holding it holding it and with black eyes, spheres of a night sky’s pitch, he stares at you. Unruly eyebrows pinched tight. Mouth slick and swollen and snarling, white teeth grit like prison bars, keeping everything contained inside himself, just out of your reach.

“Fuck,” Joel spits, pleading, desperate. “Don’t—”

But his hips are bruising against yours and you relish in the ache. The jut of bone amidst the softness of his skin, a reminder of the coldness in him, the determination, the impatience. And you know that you can only have so much softness until there is stone. But you cannot understand don’t, you never have with him, so you grind upward. Meet him thrust for thrust, and shiver in delight as a tortured expression passes over his face. And when you come again he curses, broad palms bearing down on you, holding your frame into the mattress as he pushes you through it, prolonging that naked thought, that fearsome idea. You only hope that he cannot see how your own everything spills. How it cools and congeals around him with its palms spread open, longing to receive as much in return.

Joel comes with a shout, hips dragging backwards so his spend can spill across your stomach and the puffy lips of your sex. He grips his cock, milking himself for all he’s worth until wet ropes of his come are smeared across your thighs too. You gasp and writhe against the bed, trying in vain to keep your heavy eyelids open, not wanting to miss a second. The shine of your slick on his thighs and lower stomach is clear in the dim lighting, and you smile at the sight of it – your claim on him. Chest heaving, he follows your gaze, fingers swiping across his skin before sinking into his mouth. He groans around his fingers and you stomach lurches as he lowers his chest to the bed, mouth drifting between your splayed thighs.

You cup his jaw and hold him still.

“I can’t,” you murmur, and your voice is cracked and broken. “S’too much.”

And he agrees, tracing the marks on the inside of your thighs with his mouth until your eyes drift closed.

Time passes slowly after that. You don’t open your eyes for a while. Too fucked out, too tired, too tender.

There’s a warm glide of something soft and wet over your stomach, your thighs, between your legs—Joel cleaning up his mess. You almost wish he wouldn’t.

“Sorry,” you mumble a few minutes later. “I’ll go in a second.” But your eyes are closed, and the sheets smell like him.

You feel the mattress dip beside you. Hear a soft click as he turns off the lamp, and darkness swells around you once more.

“S’okay,” he says, and his voice is so close, as if he were whispering against the shell of your ear, breathing the words into you. “Don’t have to go.”

And it makes sense not to go. To stay, to stay, to stay. To sink deeper into the hotel mattress, and let the sounds of his heavy exhales lull you further to sleep. He doesn’t touch you. Doesn’t come any closer. But you can smell him. Can feel his warmth, a radiating sun that shines across the side of your body closest, and you sink deeper still.

You think of the katabasis - the hero’s journey spiralling down into the underworld. Of Orpheus seeking the safe return of Eurydice, his love lost too soon. Of Odysseus, guided by Circe to discover Teiresias on his quest for homecoming. Of Aeneid, venturing downward to meet his father and hear his true destiny. This descent into the afterlife, into the realm of the dead, wherein upon return our hero is irrevocably changed. But to stay, to stay, to stay. So warm it is here, you think, so lovely and warm to descend wholly into this wanting, this burning, this everything.

“Is this a good idea?” you murmur, voice a drowsy call into the darkness. “For me to stay?”

Joel doesn’t respond.

tags: @lovely-ateez @nana90azevedo @stevie75 @evyiione @dameron-grant-spector @brittmb115 @ashhlsstuff @casa-boiardi @bbyanarchist @hopplessilse @joeldjarin @anoverwhelmingdin @bluevxnus @kelp-dreaming @prettyinpunk85 @spacelatinos4life @iluvurfather @mrsquill @sarap-77 @sunnywithachanceofjavi @alleyy-katt @zeida @mendessi @love-the-abyss @myrealmofchaos @a-roving-woman @punkshort @gracie7209 @whichwitchwanda @fellinfromthetop @bitchwitch1981 @suzmagine @@lmariephoto37 @harriedandharassed @cumberpegg @tonysttank @ourautumn86 @my-tearsricochet @shotgun-shelby @5oh5 @psychedelic-ink @what-is-your-wish @sugadolly @elissaaa @nobodycanseeinsidemysoul

thank you for reading! x

#my writing #fic: a lover's pinch #professor!joel #ALP #joel miller x reader #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller #joel miller smut

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marksbear2 · 3 months

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Can i request Lovesick Ghost (from cod) x dilf Reader who's just trying to live his life But everywhere he goes there's always a big Ahh shadow staring at Him

And randomly received a gifts or confess letter

So let's just say Reader is Ghost's Neighbor who like have one conversation which is just saying good morning to each other one time and Ghost is like "I'm going to marry that man..."

Lovesick Ghost x Dilf reader

⚠️Warnings- dark headcanons, Lovesick Simon, stalking, older man reader, random gifts, delu Ghost, creepy, toxic Ghost, and Etc DONT READ IF BOTHERED. ⚠️

— It all started off with a gift, it was something common between neighbors. Just random gift giving like a bag of cookies or extra flour.

— But when you walked up to his door step and asked to borrow a few batteries, Ghost while life changed.

— He never imagined being with an older man, but the more he saw you through his window watching and staring at each one of your movements, he fell hard. He would watch and stare at you through the windows and shadows of the neighborhood he became obsessed with the idea of dating you.

— He started to learn about you from the other neighbors. He learned your name, your job, age and so much more and everything you did was the ideal for him.

— He’d stay up all night staring at the celling twisting and turning around his bed about you. The crush he had on you was massive, you stayed on his mind through night and day.

— He would find your Facebook or any other social media, he would find your ex’s your best friends and your family.

— Him learning about you didn’t help his delusions and instead it in powered them and he was in more love with even the smallest details he learned about you.

— Though the two of you haven’t talked much since the day you two met, Ghost would always bump into you or get in your way in just in the right time. So he could hear you, feel you brush against him. He comes home all giddy and happy.

— His heart aches and stings whenever you bring anyone to your home. He would go through hundreds of emotions like you just cheated on him, when in fact you barely knew his name.

— He started to follow sometimes far and close with you on the walk to the grocery store or on your way to work.

— He loves the routine you have, he knows what you do when you wake up or when your going to bed. He’s so involved with your day to day life and you have no clue.

— Moving on from watching you from his window he slowly began to peak inside your own window looking through whatever he could find and see then slowly he’s able to sneak inside the house and such to learn your interest more.

— Leaving anonymous letters, gifts and random things to show you his love and devotion.

— Then whenever your out on a date or talking with someone he doesn’t like, he would send letters having a whole mental breakdown about how your destroying the relationship by cheating on him.

— He’s so unhinged and his love for you is feral, he sometimes feel like he can’t breathe without at least seeing you once a day.

— He would sneakily take pictures of you and record your conversations. He would edit the conversations so it’s like yo talking to him directly and stare at your pictures all day long.

— Staying up stalking your social media pages to change himself so he fits your type and learns about your dislikes and likes.

— So when you two finally became friends he would bring up things you liked and just innocently be like “I really have been interested in…” So when your eyes light up at the mention of your favorite whatever you two could talk longer. It’s like he laid out bread crumbs and your the bird, just eating up whatever he says.

— As the two of you get closer and closer Ghost delusions crazier and crazier.

— Wherever you give him a friendly touch on the shoulder or arm he swears that you love him.

— It became a morning regular the two of you talking on your porch. His eyes are basically heart eyes as he stares at you which such soft eyes but behind them that you are the object of his obsession and love.

— As you two grow closer he began to drop hints of his crush on you even referring you as his he doesn’t even like hearing anyone’s name come out of your mouth as those soft loving eyes become crazed and angry.

— The two of you have this light joke about being married, but for Ghost it was no joke.

— He treated you more like his partner day by day and he would invade your space and privacy like an controlling boyfriend.

“I want to marry you one day.” Ghost said randomly as he started down at you with love controlling eyes.

“What?” You respond not understanding his words.

“I. Want. To. Marry. You.” Ghost said as he walked closer to you with each step he presses you inside your house.

With one look over his shoulder to make sure no one is watching he closes the door to your house after himself.

THE END

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dobbysnotsureaboutthis · 2 months

Text

Very Long Mating Season Pt. 2 - Elevator Shenanigans

Masterlist

WC: 3,203

Description:

You get stuck in an elevator with Alastor and some shenanigans 乁(ಥ ͜ʖಥ)ㄏgo on. Basically, it is a short (shorter compared to pt.1) continuation of pt.1 which you can find here

Warnings:

SEX STUFF again I repeat there is !SEXUAL CONTENT IN THIS FIC! And again, tiny tiny bit of blood stuff, I felt like writing him soft cuz something’s gotta balance all that hardness, also by shenanigans (in the title) I mean !SEXUAL CONTENT!, unedited (warnings sponsored by Vivziepop)

It didn’t take too long for the rest of the hotel crew to realize what happened between you and Alastor. Angel Dust was the first to suspect the two of you, then Husk, before they spread their suspicions to the rest of them.

You did your best to avoid their judgemental (in your mind) stares, laughing awkwardly whenever Alastor would stand a little too close for comfort while they were around. When you were alone, you let him hold you when he wanted, enjoying the cozy cuddle of his hold as he had you in his lap by the fireplace, his one arm petting your fluffy ears and the other holding a book. You let him keep you in his radio tower, swinging your legs aimlessly for hours while he excitedly talked through his broadcast.

Although he still wouldn’t let you touch his antlers, despite your offer to help him with that itch he kept on scratching. When you asked him why…

“Well my de[e]ar, deer shed their antlers each year after mating season.”

Which didn’t answer your question, but explained the flaky red strips of gummy fur clinging to his antlers. As a doctor, you’ve seen much grosser things, so you watch him pick at them with curiosity rather than disgust.

But as soon as you saw the opportunity - while he was distracted in a heated argument with Lucifer, who you’ve yet to speak to - you slipped out of the hotel. You would be back, you couldn’t bring yourself to cruelly leave him back there (not that he would let you do so). It would just be after a well-needed break from that abnormally clingy demon.

After all, you did grow a bit fond of him yourself after the weeks spent constantly in his passionate embrace. But you missed walking freely through the city without an overgrown strawberry attached to your side, and you definitely needed to get back to your job at the office, rather than treating patients in the hotel while a red-eyed demon watched over your shoulder.

As you’re turning the street to your office, feeling renewed and ready to start the day, you’re stopped by… the sight of nothing.

Your office was gone. All that was left of the humble one storied building was bits and pieces of the cheap gray walls, looking like burnt bread crumbs on a messy eater’s plate. No way.

“What happened here?” You question a nearby tiny bunny demon in a construction uniform, watching as her yellow eyes flicker rapidly over a blueprint of sorts.

“Ugh, it’s the same guy again.”

“What guy?”

She ignores you, and begins moving away from the wreck that was left of your humble building. You’re not at all thrown-off, being painfully used to her type of behavior. It was rare in fact, to find a single soul down here capable of basic etiquette. You follow her, determined to get some type of answer.

“Can you at least tell me when all the construction is going to be over?”

“It’ll probably take us a month or so to fix up that tall of a building.”

Tall? You’re confused for just a second before you notice a ruined building owned by VoxTek across the street of your location. The center had disappeared as though someone took a giant bite out of it. A minute loss for a company as big as VoxTek. Well, at least compared to yours.

“What about the building over there?” You gesture to the empty spot your office used to occupy. “How long is that going to take?”

“What, you think we just have all the time in the world?”

“...Yes?”

“We don’t bother to fix small buildings like that, they get wiped out all the time.” She snorts. “I don’t even know what that thing was for!”

“That was my office. I’m a doctor. I need it reconstructed, I have patients who need me.”

That makes her lift her head from her blueprint to look at you, clear astonishment and a hint of mockery in her expression. “Seriously? A doctor in hell? That gives me even less reason to fix the darn building, your patients probably kill each other as soon as you treat them!” She reaches up high to pat your shoulder patronizingly, as though you just told her the funniest joke. “Go find yourself another job sweetheart. Maybe you’ll find one in Mr. Vox’s building that we’re fixing up right now.”

And that was that. There was nothing you could do to get them to listen to you, unless you fought fire with fire and resorted to the same type of bloodthirsty violence as them. You weren’t going to do that.

“Oh, fuck you. I hope you fall while working and reconsider what you said about doctors being pointless.” You could still say whatever the fuck you wanted, though.

Now there was only one place you could think of heading to, and that was straight back into the arms of your... “lover” was a term never explicitly stated, but friends would be a severe understatement.

The doors to the hotel entrance slam open before you could touch the handle, and you’re greeted by a deafening, “Dear, where have you been?” in your ear, a slender, red-sleeved arm hooking over your shoulders and squeezing you tightly.

“I was trying to check up on my office,” you sigh. Then you look at him reassuringly. “I wasn’t planning to leave you or anything.”

“I’m not at all worried about you leaving, I knew you’d come back.” He says this, but his tail twitches once. You smile. How endeering that he’s nervous about you leaving.

“Let me guess, somebody tore down your office?” Vaggie interrupts your conversation seemingly out of nowhere, and you notice the state of chaos the hotel lobby was in as you peer behind her shoulder to get a look inside.

Charlie is running all over the place, rambling at 100 miles per hour as she practically melts down over the crumbling walls and spilled beverages. A dart of hot pink indicates the tiny maid demon jumping around, giggling and stabbing at parts of the carpeted floor that were on fire. And, perhaps most notably, as Vaggie snags you from Alastor’s hold and pulls you outside, you notice that an entire chunk has been pulled out of the third floor, done in a similar fashion to the VoxTek building you glimpsed earlier. The third floor. Also known as, the only floor with extra rooms you could potentially stay in.

“Are you kidding me? Here too, at the hotel?”

“Yes. And even worse, it’s only been a day since we heard of this building-eating demon.” She groans. “A day! They fucked up our hotel in the short time you were gone.”

You bite your lip, brow furrowing at the information. So now, there was truly no place to stay. Well, you could ask Alastor, but you really didn’t want to. After all, he was a stranger to you up until a month ago, and you needed distance away from him to sort out your thoughts. What do you do now-?

A gloved hand squeezes your cheeks, and you’re met with red eyes right next to your face. “Smile, my dear! The fallen buildings are no big trouble, I could fix them up right now if I wished to.”

“Then could you?” You start to feel hopeful.

His grin widens. “And provide you with your own space, which you will only use to hide away from me? Not going to happen!”

You briefly think of just walking away right then, but just as you were about to, Charlie joins you at the door. “Oh, good, Alastor you’re here! You have to go fix the third floor right now, it’s really bad!”

His eyes narrowed to slits, still maintaining that grin of his which made him appear hilariously irritated in your perspective. You stifle a laugh and cheer of victory as he reluctantly accepts, knowing that he won’t defy a direct order from the princess of hell. “...Why of course I can.”

He has you on his arm again the second Vaggie lets go of you, humming an old-timey tune. The vibrations from his chest buzz pleasantly against your side, and you relax at the comfortable sensation. Well; it’s not as though you had anywhere to go, so you mindlessly follow his steady pull as he heads for the elevator. You look up, doubtful of its sturdiness at the moment.

“Alastor, are you sure this thing is safe to go on? You gesture with your free arm at the giant dent in the middle of the doors. “Are you sure we can even open the door?”

“I have my ways.” With a flourish of his hand, the doors creak open; albeit slowly, and it gets stuck at the halfway open mark. Huh. Doubtful, highly doubtful.

But Alastor’s looking at you with as innocent of an expression as a face like his can express, and you still feel slightly sorry for leaving him this morning without a word. So you step in, again slowly, because the ceiling of the elevator is smushed in. It’s low enough that you have to duck your head while walking in, and Alastor nearly has to crawl in. He twirls his radio stick behind his back, snapping his fingers to close the doors. You squeeze in front of him to select the button for the third floor.

As soon as the doors close, you become aware of just how tight the space was. Alastor sits crossed-legged next to you, his knee brushing against your ankle. You stand awkwardly, the lowered ceiling conveniently pushing on the back of your head so that you're staring at your feet. It’s even worse that you could feel him staring at you the whole ride up. He sure had no concept of other people’s personal space, for a man who supposedly guarded his own with an iron fist.

The elevator’s at the third floor. Great, it’s over. You wait for the doors to open.

One moment turns to two, then four, then… Why aren’t the doors opening?

“It appears we are stuck!”

“Seriously? I couldn’t see that! I thought I was hallucinating the whole thing so thanks for confirming!” You nearly scream in frustration, the events of the day finally catching up to you. “What happened to ‘I have my ways’?” You direct your yell at him, arms crossed in front of your chest as you finally meet his gaze.

He’s grinning at you, but his ears slightly fold back. Great, now you can’t even properly yell at him because then you’d feel bad. You turn around to face the crack of the door, attempting to pry it open to no avail. Pressing the open-door button didn’t work either. And there was no call button, because why would there be a call button in an elevator in hell?

You sink down to your knees to join him on the elevator floor, your skirt pooling neatly around your knees. The singular light illuminating the elevator flickers, and before you could even pray it doesn’t fall, it does. You barely had the time to cover your head with your arms, preparing yourself for the impact.

It doesn’t come. You look up from your hunched position to see that it had landed on Alastor instead. You blink in surprise at his form, frozen in suspense as his head tilts slightly to the right from the weight of the light that now hanged from one of his antlers. His eye twitches with the effort to not flinch at the sensation, and you gasp, realizing that it must’ve hurt due to the sensitivity from the shedding.

You carefully reach a hand upward, eyes asking him for permission. His teeth had clenched, signifying his pain despite his reluctance to drop the wide smile on his face.

“Go ahead…” He grounds out through the agony, ears completely flattened and tail nearly vibrating from its rapid twitches.

Gently wrapping your fingers around the base of the light bulb, you tug at it in small, repeated successions in hope of loosening the stuck object. It loosens just enough to make you think it's working, only for it to get stuck again on a higher ridge. His antlers shift and grow in length, until the tips nearly reach the elevator walls. Even with all the shifting, the light bulb doesn’t budge.

A pained noise alerts you of Alastor, head dipped and black liquid drooling from his teeth. You concentrate harder on dislodging the offensive gadget - nope, not moving. You couldn’t break the light bulb, who knows the extra damage that would do to him?

You didn’t notice how you had shifted onto his lap in your effort to reach the stuck object until you felt his claws dig into your waist, threatening to rip open the old wounds that had just begun to scar from your little mating session weeks ago.

You rack your brain for additional ideas. Then one comes to you. Hmm, kind of gross, but your options were limited enough to try. There was virtually no illumination in the elevator except the soft glow of red from his eyes, and you relocate the light bulb you had let go of through touch alone. You could feel the sharp edge of his nose slot between your chest, making you smile a little as it tickles.

You part your lips, and lick the smooth surface of the bulb, coating the surface with a thin layer of spit. Smearing the stickiness with your finger, you work it into the crevices where the object met his antler. The slight budge of the material gives you hope that you were doing something. Just a little more…

Beneath you, the deer man shifted relentlessly at your soft ministrations on his antler, fingers working diligently at detaching the object. Soft whimpers barely register to your unsuspecting ears as you focus on your work, letting more saliva pool in your mouth so that you could coat the entire surface with a thicker layer of goo. You slather your tongue all over its smoothness, digging the tip of it into the same crevices over and over. A musky, almost smelly taste of iron infects the point of your tongue and spreads to the rest of your mouth.

The taste is unpleasant in the way that, if you were served a bowl of the bloody bits with no context, you would probably gag; but the subtle flavor of Alastor peeking behind all the rancid munch led you to willingly take more and more of it into your mouth, as you savor it at the same time you work at the thing clinging to his antler. Periodically, you’re gifted by the squeaky noises of the object losing its grip on his antlers.

The skin on your waist aches with the clench of his clawed fingers, but you pay the affliction no mind. You vaguely register some hardness pressing into the slot between your thighs, and the familiarity of it all made it difficult for you to recognize its presence. Something about the rhythm of his hips, jagged and shamefully finding solace in your own, was still so ingrained into your mind from the two weeks of heated passion that you found it as natural as breathing, letting his actions fade into the background.

It feels like forever, as you diligently deliver slobbery licks to the bloody strands of flesh still heated by his body temperature, the soft, blood-matted bits of fur contrasting with the hard texture of his antlers. He had pulled you down to his crotch, desperately grinding into your heat until there was no space left between the two of you. His teeth encircle your shoulder as they dig into the exact imprint they left a day ago, the motion intimate and ritualistic.

Finally, your ears perk up as you hear a sharp scraping sound from the light bulb, and you let the muscles around your jaw relax, pulling your head back to gently shift the light bulb out with your hands.

“Alastor, I think I got it out-!”

You’re interrupted by a feral tightening of his claws on your arms, and the sound of bleating. The noise is broken and animalistic, and his cheeks are apparently flushed even in the darkness. Soft bleats continuously escape his lips; against his will, as indicated by his tense posture. You sat frozen, pussy pressed against his jumping clothed cock, back arching in heated fascination as you feel wet pumps of muffled fluid against your underwear.

The sensations of his heavy, labored breathing, sweat running in rivulets down his shoulders and stuttering hips finally registers to you, sinking into his hold and letting him handle your willing body as he rides out his high.

He just… came in his pants.

You simply sit in silence, light bulb still clutched in your hand, as you let him recover while his labored breaths pump into the nook of your shoulder.

“...Is that why you wouldn’t let me touch your antlers?”

He bares his teeth, the same bleating noise escaping his lips, although without embarrassment this time. Within no time at all, he had pulled your slowly distancing body flush against his own body again. “I’ll answer your curious little questions after I’m done with you.”

Ah, right. You settle yourself into his hold as you mentally prepare for what was to come.

You forgot that man had no such thing as a recovery time.

—---------------------------------

“The problem got so big that it showed itself. Turns out it was just a little crocodile demon, who was having a fit and got a little hungry while trying to find its mother. We got it down to its original size, and Charlie is working on fixing the broken buildings of the pride ring.” She holds up the tiny crocodile, its eyes glistening in fascination at the red lego in its hands. Was everything red in hell?

And what was a child doing in hell?

“Ah, don’t eat that!” Oh, that’s why. You snort as Vaggie wrestles her bleeding mouth from its jaw. Well, you’ve always thought some children were demons on earth.

“Anyway, what took you and Alastor so long to fix the floor?” She turns to look at Alastor accusingly. “I thought you had powers to help you with these types of things.”

You race to answer her question before Alastor could potentially say something weird. “We got stuck in the elevator.” That was technically the truth.

Alastor hums a guileless tune, a complacent smile resting on his face. Between his strange wordlessness (only because you threatened him earlier not to speak a word of it) and your suspiciously quick answer, something clicks in her expression.

“Oh. Ohhh. Ew.” She wrinkles her nose.

Your face burns in shame as you re-enter the elevator with Alastor. He’s still smiling the same smile, and you’re grateful for the silence until he speaks up, head tilting to one side as he ends your little escapade with one last candid remark.

“It’s a good thing you’re a doctor dear, not a politician.”

A/N: So I didn't write them fucking because every time I start a fic, I think of it as being part of the same universe. And they've already fucked in this universe. It doesn't make sense to me to write a full-on sex scene twice in the same universe, especially one with not that much plot, because then it translates as more of a "sex diary of reader and Alastor" (which I MEAN HEY IT COULD BE A THING) and less of a continuation of a story from point A to point B. But with how the fucking is the main point it might as well be a sex diary so... (WHAT DID I TYPE THAT WHOLE THING FOR) Also when I wrote jumping clothed cock I kept picturing his dick turning into a sausage and jump-roping so now you can think about it too (only if you want to (#consent (...I bet you thought about it)))

Taglist(? Never done one of these things before/ Is it a list with one item (in the English language (not programming or whatever else with lists))): @angeldustharmony here’s that pt. 2! ᕙ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ᕗ

#alastor x reader #hazbin alastor #alastor x you #alastor x you smut #after the rut #fanfiction #hazbin hotel smut #hazbin hotel x you

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yamujiburo · 6 months

Note

What is your favourite comic you have made?

I've made a lot of new ones since I was last asked this

I still like this one LOL

And more recently this one (love the jessie and ash dynamic of this au, can you tell?)

But also I like this one! A hint of angst which I don't usually do, immediately followed by Jessie housing down a full loaf of bread

#ask yam

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hedgehog-moss · 1 year

Photo

Welcome everyone, please join us on Baby Poldine’s First Hike! This is going to be a long post because lots of nothings happened :)

Our short-term goal was making it all the way to the torrent without Poldine getting so stressed about being away from her family that we had to turn back.

Our long-term goal: finally having a picnic-carrying llama to accompany us on hikes, which isn’t something I’ve been able to achieve with Pampe because she’s Pampe, nor with Mama Pampy because she’s the matriarch and dislikes leaving her herd behind. (Is there a collective noun? a misdemeanour of llamas? or is it just herd?)

Emotional support cats were recruited to make things less stressful for Poldine. I had to interrupt their afternoon nap on the couch and carry them to the pasture one after the other, and they just lay there looking a bit bewildered, like can we resume our nap or...? But once they saw us dragging Poldine away into the woods they all got curious and followed.

The llamas were a bit suspicious of these shenanigans and started retreating when I carried the second cat outside, so I sent my friend to the greenhouse to get some strawberries, which immediately brought the llamas back.

Although Poldine took one bite of her strawberry and then refused to eat any more of it, because she’s still a baby who only likes familiar foods. (Her grandma volunteered to eat the rest of the half-bitten strawberry.)

One thing we discovered about Pampoldine as we started the hike is that she gets very worried about being a lone llama when we stand still, but she looks reassured as soon as we resume walking. I think us walking decidedly while holding her rope makes her feel like she has a confident leader, while seeing us stop for any reason makes her panic like oh my god, you have no idea what you’re doing and which way to go, do you?

She occasionally tried to rebel and go back in the direction of her pasture, and in these moments all we had to do was grab the nearest cat and toss it in front of her. She would immediately pounce, enchanted, to try and kiss it; the cat would dart away like no thanks!! and Poldine would follow, and off we went again.

Another thing we discovered about Poldine is that she is a compulsive cheek-kisser when stressed. As long as there is someone to nuzzle, the situation can’t be completely hopeless. So we had to accept a lot of kisses.

As you can see, we made it to the torrent! It took a bit of patient coaxing to get her to go in the water (I think she was wary of stepping on the round slippery pebbles) but once she went in she looked intrigued and delighted. She was stomping her little feet to make splashes, and wading about, we actually had trouble convincing her to leave!

For some reason she was more reluctant to follow us on the way back. Maybe once all the excitement of splashing in the stream died down, she suddenly remembered that she was alone far from her pasture and family and got stressed again. We once again tried the method that consists in throwing cats in front of us every now and then, like leaving a trail of bread crumbs behind you except the opposite and with cats. (Note that the cats had the option to flee from this disgraceful treatment any time.) Merricat and Mascarille were talented bait, often leading the way of their own initiative, but Morille complicated things by being a big baby who’d stop dead and start screaming whenever she came across any amount of water. Then we had to carry her across so she wouldn’t get her paws wet.

Pictured below: me, a llama, two cats, then a rivulet (where the mossy rocks are) and Morille lagging behind and screaming pitifully, waiting for a kind soul to carry her.

We made it to the pine area of the woods and Poldine started walking a lot more cheerfully, and sniffing the air with an eager little nose, which was strange because we were still quite far from her pasture so it wasn’t home or other llamas she could smell. We wondered if perhaps she enjoyed the smell of pine resin (it does smell wonderful on warm days!), but then we left the pine woods and entered the hazel woods and she was looking even happier and walking even faster, and then we realised. We were being followed and had been for a while.

Look at her smug little face. (It turns out she escaped because I forgot to tell my friend one of the pasture gates has a latch with an anti-Pampe dual safety system.) Ah, well, it wouldn’t be a proper llama post without Pampérigouste showing up somewhere she’s not supposed to be. She was being so discreet stalking us from afar behind a curtain of trees, we wondered if she’d been following us from the beginning. I hope not, because this small torrent ends up in the Atlantic Ocean and nothing good can come from Pampe discovering how to reach other continents.

Pampe stayed with Poldine long enough to make it look like she’d escaped out of concern for her daughter and not to find out where running water is so she can one day sail to freedom, then she left to have more adventures by herself, completely indifferent to Poldine’s little “mummy, stay :( ” baby goat cries.

Morille and Mascarille also deserted us (it looked like Pampe had promised them a more exciting hike) but thankfully we hadn’t run out of cats, and were able to go home at a decent pace thanks to Merricat, professional llama bait.

All things considered it was a very successful hike! I’m glad Poldine enjoyed the water—now I want to take her to the spots that have a series of little waterfalls, see what she’d make of them :) Or even to the deeper pool you can swim in, who knows, maybe she’ll dive in! Throwing a cat in the water to encourage her would help a lot but I probably won’t do that. They’re very helpful cats who didn’t complain about being tossed ahead like petanque balls to show Poldine the way, but I don’t want to push my luck.

(I regrettably don’t have a picture of this but sometimes when I stopped walking, Poldine would rest her head on my shoulder like “...well? are we lost?” with her little bunny ears tapping the side of my head inquisitively and it was really cute.)

#crawling along #sorry for how small some of the photos are but tumblr decided there were too many #tumblr's not wrong but what am i supposed to do. /delete/ a picture of poldine kissing someone??#and i can't start posting things in several instalments i need to limit myself #else i'd start making posts like Poldine's Hike: Volume VIII

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eveningspringbreeze · 2 months

Text

A First Step, Towards Friendship

Season: Spring (ES!! second year)

Characters: Kohaku, Hiiro, Madara

Hiiro and Kohaku: Nom nom….

Hiiro: Ah, I accidentally got some on the table. Could you get a wipe, Kohaku-san?

Kohaku: ‘Course, here ya go. Ya gotta open yer mouth big an’ wide so that ya don't spill crumbs.

Hiiro: Thank you, I’ll take note of that!

Kohaku: (...He looks ‘bout as normal a boy as they come when he’s eatin’ breakfast, huh)

(The Hiiro-han I saw durin’ Matrix astonished me so much that I can’t help but incessantly worry away just from bein’ near him)

(He disciplines in a way that dredges up memories of my sisters… or particularly, the way he made us prepare for all kinds o’ things)

(He dived headfirst into playin’ villain just so Crazy:B could secure the first win)

(There sure were lotsa things happenin’ in the Amagi village, but by far my biggest shocker would be…)

Hiiro: Umu. Today’s bread was baked wonderfully. It was so delicious. Maybe I should get seconds?

Kohaku: (whispering) With that face, he follows every rule to an absolute. He forces everyone to follow them with him, an’ any opposition turns him into a terrifyin’ lad)

(Like say, were there to be a rule that determined that all breakfasts shall be bread, what would Hiiro-han do?)

(Would he even go as far as to tell me, who’s currently eatin’ rice, to have bread instead?)

Phew. I got so caught up with these stupid ideas that simply eatin’ breakfast took far too long.

???: I’m hooooome!!!! ☆ I’m so thirsty after running!

Kohaku: Mm… no doubt, that’s Madara-han’s voice. G’mornin’.

Madara: Ohh, if it isn’t Kohaku-san! Goooood morniiiiing! ☆

Kohaku: Yer always so damn loud.

Anyhow, there’s somethin’ I wanted to ask…

Would ya rather have rice or bread for breakfast?

Madara: …Hmm? That’s quite the unexpected question.

Have you been wondering about what food I like? I’m so happy to hear that ♪

Kohaku: Ah, no, this ain’t the type o’ question that should be thrillin’ ya. Not like I’ll die without yer answer anyhow.

Madara: Now now, don't be shy and say it with your chest! "I'm dyin' to make breakfast for Madara-han", right? ♪

Kohaku: Who’s sayin’ what? And the same goes to you. Rather than "accidentally" pullin’ it outta me, can'tcha just ask directly? Y'know, "Why is Kohaku-san asking me something like this, hmm?"

Anyhow, I’ll explain… I was eatin’ with Hiiro-han just now.

So we were in the Matrix project, where this an’ that happened… Now, I’ve got this slightly odd relationship with Hiiro-han.

Madara: Mmhm. I see, I get the situation now.

Oh, to think that Kohaku-san would consult me for relationship advice ♪

Mama’s delighted! Moved beyond words! So happy, in fact, that I feel inclined to ruffle Kohaku-san’s head ☆

Kohaku: Uwaah!? Stop!

Actually, what’s with this weirdass attitude? Are ya makin’ fun of me, ya jerk?

Madara: Hahaha, who’s to say?

Anyway. Personally, I’d say that becoming friends with Hiiro-san could alleviate much of your worries, Kohaku-san.

Kohaku: Friends?

Madara: Yep. For example… if Hiiro-san were to invite you to a meal, you wouldn’t turn him down, right?

Kohaku: Well, I ‘spose so. We were eatin’ together earlier too.

Madara: Then, let’s extend it from within the Starmony dorms to ES as a whole. What would you do if he asked you to go shopping with him? Turn him down?

Kohaku: Maybe if I had other plans… ‘sides that, I don’t see a reason to not go.

Madara: Yep. So basically, you two are already on pretty decent terms.

But what would you consider Hiiro-san to be to you?

Is he an acquaintance from a different unit? Or perhaps someone close to a good friend of yours? …Try taking a step back to reevaluate.

Kohaku: That’s true. Who knows whether or not Rabu-han an’ I have the same thoughts on this person.

Madara: I’m also assuming that, since whatever happened during Matrix, your thoughts on him have complicated since.

You two may be on relatively good terms, but with your perspective, it seems you can’t quite put a good name to your relationship.

And that’s exactly why if you were able to get to a point where you could start calling him a “friend”, you could reforge your relationship with him entirely.

Kohaku: Woah… I’d never expected you to give such sound advice.

Madara: ….That’s odd. I’m supposed to be your older senpai with plenty of life experience under my belt, no?

Kohaku: My bad. I just didn’t expect the friendless Madara-han to be the one advisin’ me on makin’ friends.

Madara: Hrm… what was that about me making fun of you earlier?

Kohaku: Ahaha! ‘Course, I think I can do this with yer idea. Thank ya kindly ♪

Now, I’ll call Hiiro-han right away—

Hiiro: This… is a store selling idol merchandise, yes?

Did you want to come to this store with me, Kohaku-san?

Kohaku: It must’ve been a doozy to be called an’ brought here so suddenly, sorry ‘bout that.

I was just glad to have gotten in touch with ya… but the only spot I can think for bringin’ “friends” is this idol goods store. (2)

Hiiro: “Friends”?

Kohaku: Mmhm. I’ve been thinkin’ ‘bout wantin’ to be such with ya, Hiiro-han.

I thought of talkin’ it out with fists too, since I reckon that a playfight could bring us closer.

Hiiro: With fists? Playfight?

Kohaku: Ah, I’m just talkin’ to myself. Don’t worry ‘bout that.

…So far, I believe you and I’ve been toddlin’ along on just “being on decent terms”.

What do you think ‘bout callin’ each other “friends” from now on?

We’ve even worked together as one unit before, so how ‘bout we continue workin' together?

I’d never really tried to make friends before, so I may slip an’ say weird things from time to time. If that’s okay with you…. how about it?

Hiiro: ….Umu! I’d love to, Kohaku-san!

Kohaku: Really?

Hiiro: Of course ♪ You’re a close friend of Aira’s, so I assumed that the two of us were already friends.

But now that I think about it, I never did walk up to you and go, “let’s be friends!”, did I?

From now on, as newfound friends… I’ll be in your care, Kohaku-san ♪

Kohaku: Ahaha, shakin’ hands as proof of our friendship, huh. What a nice feelin’ ♪

I planned on the two of us just goin’ shopping as friends, but I’d like ta hear more ‘bout ya, Hiiro-han.

Do you have any other friends, like Hinata-han? What hobbies do you have, and what do ya usually talk about? Can ya tell me?

Hiiro: Of course! Let’s shop and chat away!

Kohaku: Thanks, Hiiro-han. As friends, from now on… I’ll be in yer care ♪

—--------------------

Translation Notes

Callback to Aira's FS1 4* story, "Novices in Friendship", where Aira brings Kohaku to presumably the exact same merch store.

Thank you for reading! This is not proofread at the moment, but this was such a cute story that I had to translate it!! ^^

#ensemble stars #enstars #translation #kohaku oukawa #hiiro amagi #madara mikejima #i missed you. double face

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ninzied · 2 months

Text

mess of you, mess of me

another roommates au. inspired by this instagram vid. ficlet.

Some days, Henry thinks, there’s no worse fate than having fallen hopelessly, madly, one-sidedly in love with his own best friend. To say nothing of also being his flatmate and thus privy to every last detail of his busy dating life, yes Henry is well-aware that none of this is exactly ideal.

But then there are days when he thinks it’s not so bad, really. Today, for example, marks yet another Friday in which Alex has opted not to go out, for reasons that are unclear to Henry but that he will choose not to question for now.

For now, they’ve got a movie on, a pizza box and a beagle snoozing contentedly between them. Henry’s face feels sore from laughing, and Alex has had to rewind several times because he keeps getting distracted talking to Henry.

It is, in short, a perfect night, Henry thinks while Alex gabs and gabs away. He’s talking with his hands, wide, animated movements that nearly knock their drinks onto the rug more than once. There’s a crumb clinging to his lower lip, and Henry notes with uncommon fondness that there’s pizza sauce on his face too, somehow. Henry should probably tell him. His mouth’s still full of cheesy bread, so he gestures at Alex and then points at his own face to let him know there’s something there.

Alex is still talking, but he glances at Henry and doesn’t even hesitate as he leans forward. He lays a soft smack of a kiss right onto Henry’s cheek, just as he must think Henry's instructed. He hardly pauses for so much as a breath before he resumes talking again.

“Whoa,” Alex is saying, “your skin is so soft. What do you put on there, rice water?” He snaps his fingers. “Ooh, is it that thing I’ve been seeing on TikTok? No, wait, that was breast milk. Did you watch that one, do you know what I’m talking about? Henry?”

He seems to finally take in Henry’s expression, which Henry imagines must be frozen in something like utter shock. Did Alex—did he really just—kiss Henry’s cheek? Because Henry had pointed there, and so Alex had followed, with no questions asked?

“Sorry,” says Alex. “Was I supposed to do something else?”

Henry swallows the rest of his bread, admirably so considering he can hardly even breathe. “I—” Stop staring at Alex’s mouth. Stop. Stop it. The crumb is still there. How is the crumb still there? “You’ve a, um—” Henry gestures toward himself again, pointing at his lip this time, before he realizes what he’s just done.

Alex’s gaze tracks Henry’s hand to his mouth. He glances back up to meet Henry’s eyes, and then he leans in again, his movements now slow and deliberate. Making his intentions clear, but also making time for Henry to pull away if he wants it.

Henry wants no such thing.

He tips his chin up. His eyes flutter closed as Alex presses his lips against Henry’s this time.

If Henry couldn’t breathe before, there’s certainly no hope for him now.

The first kiss is gentle and sweet. The second feels a bit like he’s been set on fire.

Alex pulls back after a very long moment, looking as winded as Henry feels.

“Oh,” says Alex. There’s a new rasp to his voice, and he looks inordinately pleased about something as his gaze flits back to Henry’s cheek. “Babe, you have pizza sauce on you.”

“Yes,” says Henry, too dazed to manage a proper eye-roll at him. “Yes, I’ve no idea how that could’ve happened.”

“Hmm,” says Alex. There’s only a faint trace of sauce left on his own cheek now. Then, in a sly, meaningful tone, he says, “Don’t you?”

Henry slow-blinks. “Wait a minute,” he says. “Did you know, all along? That you had sauce on your—?”

Alex just looks at him. “How do you think it got there, sweetheart?”

Oh. Oh.

And at the grin Alex gives him as he leans back in, Henry finds himself marveling that he ever could have wondered at all.

#rwrb #red white and royal blue #rwrbsource #rwrb fic #firstprince #firstprince fic #rwrb fanfic #firstprince fanfic #usernuria #iuserzoe #userveronika #chrissiewatts #usersteen #carrythesky

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shiny-holographic-star · 7 months

Text

LILITH (H13) OBSERVATIONS

Sagittarius Lilith might experience situations that don't let them expand. For example, parents that are oppressive in some way or short-lived relationships. I've had both: living in a golden cage and not having had romantic relationships that lasted longer than a month.

My mom has this placement too, and she had very controlling parents.

A friend of mine has Aries Lilith and she tells me pretty often how her father and friends are rude to her, that no matter how hard she tries they don't love her back :/

A friend with Leo Lilith told me that her ex bf didn't pay enough attention to her (like he used to do), that he pushed her away a lot to “get his own space” but in kind of a rude way (not talking, just leaving/ignoring her and expecting her to be 100% okay with it).

Lilith conjunct Sun people have a side of their personality they don't want to be seen. An insecurity or something that they think will drive people away from them.

I have this placement, and I felt guilty for having broken up with a bf. I thought I was the one who wasn't ready for commitment, not mature enough, not good enough for relationships, but after some shadow work I realized that he had been taking advantage of the fact that he had been my first bf to relax and not be 100% committed to me. He fed me bread crumbs and I didn't see it because I hadn't had a previous example of how a committed relationship looked like. I internalized the insecurities that came up as we dated and believed I was not lovable enough while he deserved better.

5th House Lilith women might have had men/boys tell them they're not special or attractive to their face.

11th House / Earth Lilith might oppose tradition and the role that was expected for them to follow by, for example, having a kid/s with someone but not getting married to the father and even parting ways with them. Both my aunt and sister have this placement in different earth signs, and they did that.

One guy with Virgo Lilith got cheated on by the mean girl of my class. She had slept with and gone out a lot with one of his friends. Another guy with Virgo Lilith was the side boy, the lover, and even though my friend at the time had told him she only wanted something casual, he got angry at her when she wanted to end their not so secret relationship. In both cases, everyone got to hear their stories (mercury rules over communication and gossip).

Also, both of them have Lilith with a minor aspect to Uranus = sudden changes. The first guy surely didn't expect that the friend he had asked to take care of his gf in a school trip he didn't go to would sleep with said gf (:s) While the second guy really seemed to had expected to become her actual bf instead of having had been broken up with once she got bored of him (:’v)

#astrology #astro placements #astro community #astro posts #aesthetic #astrology observations #birth chart #natal chart #astro chart #lilith #sagittarius #virgo #anime

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moonchildstyles · 8 months

Note

have you ever thought about doing a third person - not in the relationship - point of view for bodyguard h? like maybe the public's opinion as it becomes clear that they’re together? love your work!

wordcount: 2.3k+

—————

"Dude, shut up. Look."

Winnie swallowed her words, halfway offended that Danni had cut her off so rudely. She was about to fire back at him, remind him that she was the reason they had even been able to secure seats at this place and afford more than a crumb of bread—until she followed where he was suddenly gesturing towards.

Under the dim lighting of the restaurant, shrugging out of her taupe coat with a familiar face holding her chair out for her was (Y/N)—the (Y/N). The most notorious socialite of New York. Winnie had just looked at her instagram on the cab ride over here, and now there she was. With her "bodyguard".

"That's who I think it is, right?" Danni asked from across from her, his voice suddenly hushed.

"That's her," Winnie confirmed, tearing her gaze away from the now occupied table, fearing she would be caught staring. "She just posted on her Insta story in that outfit."

Danni obviously shared none of Winnie's qualms with the way he craned his neck, attempting to get a better view around the table sitting between their booth and the now high profile one stationed behind it. "Who is she with? Is it that same guy from the 132 Gala?"

"I think so," Winnie muttered, chancing a glance in their direction, "She says he's just her bodyguard, though."

"That's the bodyguard?" Danni blanched, a pinch appearing between his brows with an incredulous look on his face, "There's no fucking way. They're obviously on a date."

Feeding off of some of Danni's confidence, Winnie pinned her gaze on their table. It really did look like they were on a date. Maybe it was just the lighting of the place or the fact that she is (Y/N), but the way he looked at her couldn't just be that of a man whose job was to be around her. Since when did bodyguards share a table with their client, anyway? Even from where their booth was situated, Winnie swore she could see the hooded set to his eyes and every soft edge to his features as he gazed at her.

It was the way he looked at her in every photo of the pair of them together, every picture that was posted to the feed with articles dissecting everything about (Y/N) and whatever it was that had transpired the night before at whatever party she attended. He was always right there, at her side with something more than professionalism guiding him.

"You think so?" Winnie asked, canting her head as a bottle of wine was delivered to the spotlighted table.

Before Danni could make any kind of argument, they watched as (Y/N) had poured herself a tiny glass of the red wine and took a sip before passing it across the table to her bodyguard. They saw him take a drink from the same spot she had pressed her own lips without a thought. Apparently he must have liked the wine seeing as (Y/N) ended up pouring another glass for him.

"Obviously," Danni said, no room for argument.

Just then, their waiter came by with his hands loaded with plates. "Is there anything else I can grab for you tonight?" he asked as he passed out their dishes, a pleasant smile on his face. He was the same one that had dropped off the wine at (Y/N)'s table—Winnie almost wanted to ask if he thought the pair of them were on a date, too.

"I think we're alright, thank you," Danni spoke up, fluttering his curled lashes up at the waiter.

Once they were alone again, Winnie couldn't help herself, she had to take another look at their table . She caught (Y/N) letting out a peal of laughter, her bodyguard looking at her with dimpled cheeks and a smug smile.

"I just read something that said she was hooking up with this F1 guy, though," Winnie prattled, recalling the professional photos from the speedway and the grainy pictures from the private afterparty where she talked to one of the racers. Now thinking about it, she could remember some of the shots with her bodyguard hovering just out of frame or right at her side—as per usual.

"Maybe, they're open," Danni shrugged, twirling his pasta around his fork, "I don't know, but there's no way they haven't at least slept together with the way they're looking at each other."

Winnie couldn't argue with that. The evidence was right in front of her. She wished she was a little bit closer, just so she could hear what they were saying.

"Maybe," Winnie settled, letting the subject go to focus on her own dinner.

Despite Danni distracting her with another avenue of conversation, Winnie couldn't help herself but to look over every now and then. It was like cinema, a scene in a film she didn't want to miss if she didn't have to.

More than once, she caught (Y/N) laughing with her inhibitions thrown out, her bodyguard looking on with affection in his eyes. Maybe it was a trick of the lighting, but there was a moment Winnie swore she could see (Y/N) leaning across the table and touching his hand or nudging his foot just under the hem of the tablecloth. By the time their meals made it to their table, she and Danni were almost done with their own dinner, but she still caught the way bites of food were shared upon the same fork.

They were doing everything just short of kissing, it seemed like: sharing food, sharing glasses, leaning across the table, whispering as if there was no one else in the restaurant.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom before we leave," Winnie said, excusing herself from the table once their plates were clear and the check had been taken.

"Okay," Danni acknowledged, barely looking up from his phone as he calculated the tip.

While she definitely had to use the restroom, there was a bit of strategy in wanting to pass by their table on the off chance that she might be able to overhear anything. Was it a bit nosy? Sure, but it wasn't like she was planning on tweeting or posting anything she might glean from the moment—Winnie just liked knowing things.

Stepping away from the booth, she took the long way around, passing by the table with distractedly slow steps as she pretended to be on her phone.

From the corner of her eye, she could see (Y/N) toying with the small dessert menu. "Did you want to try the strawberry shortcake, mon amour?"

Winnie's steps almost faltered. Was that French or something? Despite the little knowledge of language outside of her own, even Winnie knew that amour had to be something about love. She was calling him her love?

As much as she wanted to stick around and see what he had to say, there was no way she was blowing her cover any more than she probably already had. Heading to the bathroom, Winnie had to leave her curiosities behind.

After using the restroom, she didn't linger for too long before she was venturing back into the dining area. Passing by (Y/N)'s table, she couldn't help but minutely slow her steps.

By now there was a small tower of strawberry shortcake in the middle of their table, replacing the candle and votive that had been placed there before. A spoon with the perfect bite of a bit of sponge cake, strawberry slices, and whipped cream was held aloft in the bodyguard's hand.

"Y'have the first bite, sweet girl."

Winnie's eyes widened as she kept her pace and passed by. There was no way to misunderstand that. The friends she knew didn't call each other such affectionate names.

Hurrying back to Danni, Winnie was almost bursting with her newly gleaned information.

"Danni, Danni—" she started, only to be cut off by his own bursting tone.

"You missed it, I can't believe it!" he stage whispered, gaze locked on her as she slid back into the booth.

"No, seriously, guess what I heard when I passed them," Winnie started, attempting to hook his attention though Danni didn't seem to be taking the bait at all.

"They kissed," Danni interrupted, his voice considerably lower than before, "Literally right before you came out of the bathroom, they kissed. They're totally fucking."

Winnie sat back, almost cursing herself for missing out on the perfect moment. Glancing back to their table, they were engrossed in one another while sharing their dessert. The longer she looked at the bodyguard, she couldn't blame (Y/N) at all. Even with whatever billionaire or celebrities were knocking on (Y/N)'s door, she doubted there were any that could compare to the way that man looked at her. (Or just looked in general).

"When I was walking past them, she called him love in, like, French or something, and he called her his sweet girl."

Danni followed her line of sight and saw them share another whipped cream filled bite of cake. "That's actually really cute. I really hope they're dating, otherwise that's kind of a bummer for him because he's clearly in love with her."

The longer they looked at them, Winnie had an idea pinging in her head. "Do you think it would be weird if we went and said hi or something?"

Waving her off, Danni shook his head. "No, she probably gets it all the time."

Rolling her lips between her teeth, Winnie wasn't completely convinced. "I don't know, though. She's supposed to be kind of mean, sometimes."

"Who cares," Danni answered with a shrug, "If she is, at least we know that's just how she is and that it isn't us."

While this wasn't usually something Winnie liked to do, she couldn't pass up the opportunity to at least say hello. It was too surreal of circumstances to pass up on—she had been browsing (Y/N)'s Instagram and story on the way to this restaurant tonight, and now she was right there. She had probably learned things tonight that the media had been itching for, for months.

"Okay, let's do it before I get too nervous," Winnie pushed, picking up her coat and bag just as quickly as Danni had his phone put away and was sliding out of the booth.

Danni took the helm as they approached the table, the bodyguard's eyes catching them long before (Y/N) had.

"Are you (Y/N)?" Danni asked, ducking down enough so that he didn't have to speak too loud in the middle of the dining area.

Perking up in her seat, (Y/N) turned around with a swish of her hair. A pleasant expression was stitched on her features with a quiet smile and soft eyes.

"Yes, hi," she greeted them, looking up from where she was seated with the center of her lips tinted strawberry.

"Hi," Danni smiled, turning on the performer persona he had been honing since his NYU days, "I hope we're not interrupting, but my friend and I wanted to say hi before we left for the night."

"Oh no, you're totally fine," (Y/N) chirped, casting her gaze across to take in Winnie as well, "What are your names?"

"I'm Danni, and this is my friend Winnie," he introduced, gesturing to his side where Winnie could see the less than impressed expression worn by (Y/N)'s bodyguard—boyfriend.

"Nice to meet you guys," (Y/N) smiled, engaging with her full attention, "Are you having a good night so far?"

Taking the opportunity to pipe up given the fact that this was her idea in the first place, Winnie gave her own grin to the woman she had only ever seen this close up on Instagram. Weirdly enough, she was one of those people that looked better in person as opposed to photos, which was insane given just how gorgeous she was in photos, too.

"This is our first time trying this place, but it was really good," Winnie said, catching the assessing glare from across the table as she shifted her weight, "This is so weird, honestly. On the Uber ride over here, I was just looking at your Instagram and looking up the blush you were wearing in your story."

"Oh," (Y/N) sounded, not at all perturbed by the admission. She actually seemed to brighten at the new avenue of conversation, her lashes fluttering with her posture straightening. "It's a Charlotte Tilbury blush one of my friends is letting me borrow! I can't remember the name, but it's this really pink one with this shimmer circle in the middle. It's super pretty, I'm probably going to have to get my own."

This was going better than almost every rumor Winnie had ever read about (Y/N). Her smile widened.

"Thank you! I might get one, too. Then, we'll match," Winnie said, beginning to edge away from the table, not wanting to overstay their welcome, "We have to head out, but thank you for talking for a minute. I hope you guys have a nice rest of your night."

Winnie shot her smile towards the quiet boyfriend across the table, hoping to soften him some now that they were leaving his girlfriend alone. It didn't appear to work, mostly because he had his eyes on (Y/N).

"Of course, thank you guys for being so nice!" (Y/N) beamed, wiggling her fingers in a small wave "I hope you end up getting the blush! Have a good night."

With that, Winnie started heading towards the restaurant's entrance with Danni at her side.

Once they were far away, underneath his breath, Danni muttered, "You don't even wear blush."

"I know, but I didn't know what else to say."

"It was your idea to go talk to her," Danni laughed.

Winnie only shook her head, feeling a bit rattled at the swift meeting. When she moved to New York, she knew there was a high chance that she was going to run into celebrities here and there, but she had always said she wouldn't be able to handle talking to any of them. This experience only proved right.

Now she had to go out and buy an expensive blush.

—————

thank you so much for reading the first elan blurb! sorry for any mistakes and if you have any ideas to share please send them in!

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