#and i did way worse shit to my barbies as a kid lol

[valyriansteelchair]

I will not respond with "definitely cranking hog"

I will not respond with "definitely cranking hog"

I will not respond with "definitely cranking hog"

---

It's fiction, babe. It's literally pretend.

[alirhi]

just me stuff

Putting it behind one of those helpful little "keep reading" links to make it easier to scroll right past :)

The other day, a friend asked me if I had DID (dissociative identity disorder, formerly known as multiple personality disorder/MPD). When I came out to my sister and tried to explain to her what genderfluid means (or at least, what it means to me; ask three different people who use that term to identify themselves and you'll get three different, equally valid definitions), she joked that it was "gender split-personality". It was funny at the time, but it's starting to grate on me a little.

I've got plenty wrong with me, both physically and mentally, but no. I don't have DID. The Josh/Ali thing is not "split personalities". It's still always me. And I've always been this way. As a kid, I climbed trees, played in mud, played with babydolls and Barbies and Tonka trucks and Hotwheels... Everything that was "typically girly" and "typically boyish", I did it all, and I loved it all equally. But I've never felt like I was "defying gender norms" or that gender didn't apply to me. Frilly dresses and dolls and happily sewing new clothes for my Barbies Ali was a girl. Muddy, scraped up, rough-and-tumble Josh was a boy. I never thought enough about it at the time to try to categorize it in my head, that came later, in retrospect, but that's how it always felt. Same kid, same body (and oh fuck, the dysphoria that nearly fucking killed me at times...), same mind, just... Different outlooks.

I think there might be a neurological component to it all, because when I switch, I can feel it. It's a weird little twinge in my head. Sometimes I don't notice lol but a lot of the time, I do, and the world looks different. Apparently, even the way I speak and carry myself changes a little; my friends have started to notice, and sometimes mid-conversation one of them will just kind of smile and go "hi, Josh" or "hey, Ali." It's nice to have both sides acknowledged. I used to hide. In my late teens, through my 20s, and even a little into my 30s, I would work so hard to pass. To hide Josh from the world and not stand out. An ex-friend (when we still were friends lol) looked at me funny and called me a crossdresser; asked if I was gay. For one thing, those two things are not related. For another, no. I would much rather wear jeans, cut my hair off, walk around shirtless when it's hot out, be a guy... but I can't. My body is female. Worse, it's feminine. I've got doll-like, almost kittenish features, and as Ali that's great, but as Josh it's soul-crushing.

So for a while, I hid. I caked on makeup, styled my hair, wore the girliest clothes I owned, pitched my voice an entire octave higher, and was Miss Manners. Everything that screamed "girly" to me, to hide how very not girly I felt. The catch there, of course, is Ali outgrew the super femme stage by the age of like 12 and playing it up only made me more obvious to people who really knew me 😂 but I wasn't really thinking it through.

I looked in the mirror, and I saw someone else staring back at me. The disconnect was so complete, it was horrifying. But that someone else, that lost and lonely, broken girl? Well, I couldn't help me, but maybe I could help her. So it wasn't just to hide who I am, it was to give that girl something nice to come back to. All women are beautiful. All of them. It's just a matter of knowing how to carry oneself, which features to play up. When the disconnect goes away, I can't see as clearly. I just see all the flaws. Just the gross, fat loser who will never amount to anything. But when I feel disembodied, like I'm looking at someone else, I can see the pretty eyes, the perfectly shaped lips, the high cheekbones... I see a pretty girl who doesn't know she's pretty, and I want to make it better. I realize at this point it sounds like I'm contradicting the "no, I don't have DID" thing from earlier XD I don't know how else to describe the shit going on in my head, but it's not two identities. There's no loss of time, or blacking out. The only things that change now are the way I see my body, and apparently the way I speak, a little.

The same friend who asked if I have DID keeps half-joking that she gets gayer the older she gets. It finally hit me last time she said it that...yeah, me too. 😂 Only half the time, though. I went from always on the straighter end of pan to just... more and more into the D lmao. That used to be one of the signs that I'd switched. It's even how I explained it to my sister - "sometimes it's 'oooo Tom Hiddleston' and sometimes it's 'oooo Anne Hathaway.'" (this was like 4 years ago lol. I hadn't yet discovered just how unbelievably perfect Sebastian Stan is). I was always attracted to people regardless of gender, but with a strong leaning toward the opposite sex, if that makes any sense at all. Like, always into Tom and Anne, just Ali's more into Tom, and Josh is more into Anne. But for some reason, guys, I am getting gayer by the day lately lmao. I dunno if my tastes are shifting and I'm just more into dudes in general, or if I just keep discovering guys so undeniably, ridiculously hot that it just doesn't matter or what but... yeah. Fem or transmasc, doesn't matter. I'm always into Seb 😂

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #474

“nothing flashed before my eyes  /  no pretty angels, no bright lights  /  all i saw was the devil’s soul, & it looked a hell a lot like my own”

Who are you most nervous about introducing potential significant others to? My dad. He can be a challenge. He says whatever comes to his mind the moment he thinks it, and it's not always nice. What is the most exciting thing about your life right now? My relationship, honestly. It feels like the one thing that's going right, but I'm concerned if I don't take care of the things that aren't going so well, that they will creep into my relationship and start breaking it down, ex. not having a job. What was the most important non-academic thing you learned in high school? To just keep pushing and not give up on life, and that it is full of phases, be them good, bad, or bland. Have you ever had a job that deeply affected your personal life? How so and do you still work there? No. Do you have a “one who got away”? I don't feel like that anymore. If you were in a supoerhero movie, would you be the hero or the villain? Because I like to help people, I'd like to be the hero, BUT villains are waaaay cooler. If you found a mouse in your house, would you be frightened? Frightened, no. I LOVE mice. I'd of course be startled and concerned about it getting into food, but I'd just calmly find a way to get it outside. Have you ever tried to perform magic tricks? I used to LOVE getting those little magic kits when the Scholastic fair came around! I had I want to say three and was pretty good at a lot of tricks in them. Can you do more with a yo-yo than just "go up and down"? No. What is one form of technology that you wouldn't be able to live without? The Internet for sure. Did you get an allowance, growing up? Why or why not? No. An allowance for three daughters was something my parents couldn't afford. Would you rather go to a water park or an amusement park? Why? An amusement park. They're more exciting to me, and somehow water parks seem dirtier with all the little kids and just alksdjlfa;wjke What is one instrument you wouldn't mind learning how to play? The violin. What's the longest amount of time you've had to wait in line for something? Probably something at Disney World as a kid, idr. What is something that you would like to learn more about? I ALWAYS want to learn more and more about meerkats. What is something that one of your family member collects? Mom collects owl stuff. Have you ever moved to a new school before? If so, how did it feel? No, except obviously when transferring from certain age ranges, like elementary to middle school. Have you ever legitimately forgotten to do homework? Yes, at least once in middle school. I felt SO awful and had to go outside of the classroom to do it while they were reviewing the work. Do you enjoy autumn leaves or spring flowers more? Why? I really, really like both. Each are just very pretty in their own right. Depending on where you live, why might a day of school get canceled? Hurricanes or like the mere chance of a centimeter of snow. At least once, we've even had such a severe heat advisory that school was called off. If you could meet any fictional character from a book, who would it be? Can dragons be real? 'Cuz then I wanna meet Clay from Wings of Fire if we could talk, lol. He's so wise and I'm sure would have great knowledge to share about looking at my life from new perspectives. What are some common places that people tour when they come to your city? Um, people do NOT tour this city. It's trash. What's one food that you did not enjoy as a child, but do as an adult? I'm not sure. How would having no electricity affect your daily routine? Everything would change, given I'm always on the computer. Would you rather have a mermaid tail, a fairy's wings or a unicorn's horn? Fairy wings, for sure. What is an animal that you'd like to have as a pet but it's not allowed? I wish SO badly that opossums were domesticated animals, alsdkjfkaljwe. I say enough that I do want to rescue/foster one, though, but I would obviously need a license for that. I would absolutely never just snag one from the wild. What are some things that you do to make the world a better place? We recycle here, don't dare to litter, and I always try to be a decent person that spreads love and hope to other people. Has the last person you had sex with ever had sex with someone besides you? Yes. What’s your favorite store at your mall? rue21, I suppose. We have a small mall. Have you ever done a workout DVD? Oh my actual god, this is a THROWBACK. When we were really little, my sister had a BARBIE workout DVD that we watched sometimes. Who usually takes out the trash in your family? Usually Mom, but sometimes me. What song are you currently obsessed with? Absolutely "Bath Salts" by Highly Suspect, ahhhhh- When you go fishing, do you make someone else get the fish off the hook? When I used to go fishing, my dad would always unhook the fish. Do you take any prescription meds? A lot. What happens if you don’t take them? I very rarely forget to take my medicine, but when I do, I experience anxiety and my tremors get worse. Who was the last person you dreamt about? I don't remember. Do you prefer your tea sweetened or unsweetened? I hate tea in any way. How often do you honk your horn? I don't really drive, so. I'd be very hesitant to though because I wouldn't wanna piss someone off. Do you have any children? If so, names and ages? That's a hard pass from me, bro. Have your parents ever witnessed you doing something inappropriate? What? No. Did you get babysat a lot as a kid? I don't remember how frequently, but we did have a babysitter. Both my parents had jobs. If you were the principal of a school, what would you do differently? Actually pay fucking attention to bullying and do shit about it. Are you doing anything fun tomorrow? "Fun?" Don't know her. What is something you'd like to receive as a housewarming gift? I dunno. How old were you when you first experienced the effects of puberty? I don't remember. What is your least favorite holiday, and why? St. Patrick's Day because I worry about getting pinched, lol. Pinching even very lightly is surprisingly painful for me. What were some outdoor games you played as a child? Hide-and-seek was my favorite, then my sisters and I made games for on the trampoline and in the pool, etc. Did you accompany your parents on "Take Your Child to Work" Day? I never remember doing that, no. Are cemeteries peaceful to you, or do they freak you out? They're humbling, more than anything. A reminder of how equal we are and that we all end up the same. It's a nudge to cherish life while you have it. Which ancient civilization would you be interested in learning more about? My favorite is Ancient Egyptian. Do you have better long-term memory or short-term memory? Long-term. My short-term memory is absolutely frighteningly horrid. What was the last situation that made you cry? Describe. I was very frustrated with just life in general and how horribly I'm failing at it. Which forest animal would you be most afraid to encounter? A bear, probably. Do you believe in anything supernatural? (ie: spirits, etc) Yeah, like said spirits. Has anyone close to you ever gone to war? No. Have you ever experienced altitude sickness? No. Is there anything, any event, you wish you could remember more clearly? I don't know right now. Have you ever rubbed anyone’s feet? EW you couldn't pay me to. If you had to get advice from someone of the opposite sex, who would you go to? My boyfriend. What was the last new food/drink that you tried? I recently tried jalapeno-stuffed grilled chicken, and a couple days ago I tried this orange/strawberry V8 my mom bought. It was noooot good, which I figured it wouldn't be. That's not a good mix. Have you had a good day today or was yesterday better? Today was fucking awful, and yesterday wasn't exactly peachy either. Have you ever played Sudoku? Yeah, I enjoy it well enough. Do you ever take surveys for money? No; I once signed up for a site like that though because my mom used to do that, but I literally qualified for no surveys with how inexperienced I was and still am with grown-up stuff. Do you like Barbie or Bratz better? I don't have an opinion, and I didn't really as a kid, either. Do you prefer purple or green grapes? I go back and forth, but either way, it has to be a crisp grape or it's just gross. Who was the last person that made you laugh? I was watching a John Wolfe video. Where does your best friend live? Illinois. Who did you last confide in? Girt. Does your car have an alarm? Mom's doesn't. Where was your mom born? New York. What can always make you feel better no matter what? If I'm being completely realistic, nothing. Not every single tactic is fail-proof, especially these days. What is something you’ll never eat again? Why? Crab legs came to mind first. They are SO mushy and just gross. What is currently happening that is scaring you? My life, bro. Have you ever found a stranger’s note somewhere? If so, what did it say? I mean maybe at some point accidentally? I don't remember a specific occurrence.

[innocentbeing]

okokokokok but i just know lizzie and rciel had their own share of issues with each other in childhood vklkgf just like rCiel and oCiel did. OC’s insecurities & constantly comparing himself to RC. RC feeling abandoned by him. (I am getting so sick of writing their names like that fjkkhggg) 

i can see them having their own separate problems

for Ciel - 1) Lizzie just way too intense in her feelings sometimes and it makes him nervous/confused. like look at his face here.

He's like ( ´• ‿ •`);; like he doesn't know how to react or how to handle Lizzie when she gets like that. I can imagine him feeling like "pls I am only 7. we are just kids.. this is too much. stop talking about how much you love and want to marry me, I just want to play Barbies with you pls" ghjjjh

2) speaking of which, i can totally see him feeling pressured by expectations of being a fiancé just like his other duties as earl. not that it’s directly lizzie’s fault or anything ofc but her existence of sorta attached to that so shudijs LOL. then again she could also put pressure on him depending on how pushy she is

for Lizzie - 1) Ciel sometimes is unable to understand lizzie's feelings

i won’t count the “a strong wife would frighten me” comment since he didn’t know about lizzie’s strength and didn’t know how it’d affect her, but I still feel like there must’ve been other moments where he’d say something careless and hurt her feelings without meaning to. I mean, he’s pretty blunt sometimes LOL and he tends to think on the “rational/logical” side while Lizzie makes decisions based on her feelings. 

They are bound to clash now and then LOL. 

“As usual, you stiiillll don’t understand how girls feel...!”

I definitely think she’s talking about rCiel here LMAOO. I can totally see her being In Her Feelings and he’s just like Lmao What. SHUDIJO

2) Lizzie’s desperation for him to love her / feeling she’s not enough ??

Idk if this is rCiel’s fault or if it’s Lizzie’s or if it’s external factors or maybe all of the above but SOMETHING had to happen there LOOL. I mean, wanting to impress the person you like is pretty normal. Wanting them to like you back is normal... but

..this ain’t normal. LLOOL. Idk, the way she goes about it is so weird to me?? SHDUIJ If she felt uncomfortable & too embarrassed to undress and run in her undies in front of him, that would be normal and understandable, but her concern is over what he’ll think of her despite the fact they’re in a liFE OR DEATH SITUATION?? SYDUHIJ. 

“I want to stay cute in front of you until the very end, Ciel!!”

She wants him to think she’s cute “until the very end”. She doesn’t want him to see her as ugly even though the situation is so DIRE. SUDHI ITS AS IF SHE’D RATHER DIE ??? LMAOO WTF THATS NOT FKING NORMAL SDUHSID WTF HAPPENED HERE LMAOO

I mean, ok, it’s pretty clear Lizzie’s world is centered around being his fiancée and I’m sure living in the Victorian era only enforces that mentality more plus all the adults in her life pretty much encourages it as well... buT even taking all that into consideration, it’s still weird 😭😭!! It’s weird on a human psyche level lmao 😭😭 

I mean, it COULD be a Lizzie/oCiel thing, but Lizzie always had a desperate will to have rCiel like her ever since they were little

which is why I’m leaning on this issue being a Lizzie/rCiel thing instead looool. 

MAYBE it just got worse with oCiel as her insecurities heightened with him?? 🤔 Like, Lizzie def feels she doesn’t do enough for him. She feels inadequate. That’s def feelings that developed being with oCiel and all his.... baggage. 

Plus the whole height thing

and idk maybe all this shit of insecurity and him getting mad at her and not knowing how to help him just increased her desperation like 100x more? to the point where she feared looking uncute in front of him despite the severity of the situation ‘cos she just can’t handle giving him more reasons for him to hate her? 

UHISJSDSDIJSDJISD IDK BUT THATS HONESTLY ACTUALLY REALLY SAD WTF ; ___ ; 

omg i totally got off the point  lmaoooo. it was supposed to be about lizzie and rciel but it turned into a character study about her instead shudisj

now i have a whole bunch of lizzie angst ideas in my head and im crying 😭😭

[lovemesomesurveys]

Do you have a vlog? No. I have no interest in being a vlogger/YouTuber. Plus, my vlogs would be incredibly boring. 

If not, have you ever considered starting a vlog? Nope. Like I said, they’d be incredibly boring. I also just don’t want to be in the front of the camera and I wouldn’t feel comfortable uploading videos like that about myself.

Did you go to AM or PM kindergarten? I remember going in the morning.

What are your favorite youtube channels to watch? I have several--from vloggers to lifestyle videos to ASMRtists. 

Which relative(s) do you look the most like? My mom.

Have you ever watched a live birth video? I’m still scarred from the Miracle of Life video we had to watch in middle school. I covered my eyes for most of it, but unfortunately I saw some things. lol.

Have you ever given birth? No.

Do you remember when the Internet was a new thing? I remember when it was new for me. 

Do you remember Y2K? Yes.

How old were you when the year changed to 2000? I was 10 at the start of the year.

What was your favorite childhood vacation? Disneyland trips. Back then a few of my cousins and aunts came along as well and it was so much fun.

Have you ever wished you were born the opposite gender? No.

What's your birth order: oldest, middle, or youngest? I’m the middle kid.

Do you fit the stereotype for whatever birth order you are? I do have some of the middle kid bullet points, such as we’re apparently people- pleasers, peacemakers, and sometimes feel like the odd one out.

Have you ever worn overalls? Yeah, as a kid.

If you're a girl, how old were you when you started your period? I was 13.

Do you get cramps? I don’t have my period anymore due to health reasons, but back when I did I had horrible cramps and basically every other awful symptom physically and emotionally. Wasn’t a fun time at all.

Is your mom mentally stable? Yes.

Is your dad a complete jerk to you? No, not at all.

Where do you want to go on vacation next? Who knows when it’ll be safe to travel again. It’s hard to even think about it right now.

What is one place you want to visit before you die? Sweden.

Has anyone ever committed suicide in your town, that you know of? Yeah.

What's your favorite type of crackers? Cheez-Its, Nips, Goldfish, Ritz, and the Keebler Club crackers.

What's your favorite spice? Garlic, oregano, basil, paprika, black pepper, parsley, chives.

Are you sensitive? Yes.

Are you intuitive? In some ways.

Are you spiritual? Depends on your definition of spirituality. Some see it in the religious sense, while for others it’s about non-religious experiences and getting in touch with their inner selves through stuff like yoga, meditation, and nature. I fall in the first group.

Do you wish your life were easier? It’d sure be nice if things lightened up and were more manageable, ya know?

What color hair did your first crush have? Brown.

What was the name of your first crush? Philip. 

Did you ever play on Mamamedia.com? Doesn’t ring a bell.

Do you remember your first email address? lol yeah. 

Did you name your lego characters? I don’t think so.

What was/is your high school's mascot? I’m not sharing that.

What is/was your favorite class in high school? I liked English, Spanish, and the piano class I took my senior year.

Is college an adventure? You could say that.

Do you take medication for anxiety or depression? Not at the moment.

If so, does it work? Does it help you? Or does it make you feel worse? The anxiety meds were helpful, but the anti-depressants were not.

If applicable, what form of birth control do you use? I’m not on birth control.

Who is your favorite cousin? I used to be really close to a few of my cousins, but not anymore in recent years. That’s largely because of me. :(

Do you look your age? People have said I look younger.

What's your favorite flavor of frosting? Good ol’ vanilla.

Do you like toe socks? Nah.

Muffins or cupcakes? I like both.

Have you ever had a bag stolen? No.

How old were you when you got your first phone? I was 15.

Are you ready for summer?!?! Ew, no, don’t even start with that shit. It’s nice and cold here and I love it. Summer is always so long and miserable, I don’t miss it when it ends.

Is winter your favorite season? One of them. Fall is the other. How many people do you know who've said winter is their favorite season? I say that. It’s not a popular opinion, but I don’t care.

Are you unique in any way? I don’t feel very unique. 

Do you have any hidden talents? Nope. Unless they’re super hidden and I haven’t discovered them, yet, but I highly doubt it.

Has anyone said you and your mom look like sisters? Yes. 

Who was your best friend in high school? I had a couple my freshman and sophomore year and then it changed my junior and senior year.

What book or movie gave you nightmares as a child? Ha, I was actually scared of Ghostface from Scream as a kid. I had a reoccurring nightmare about being chased by him. Now, the Scream movies are among some of my favorite scary movies.

What song makes you cry? Everlong (the acoustic version) by Foo Fighters.

Does anyone know who your first crush was besides you? Yeah, I had told one of my cousins.

How many teachers have you had crushes on? Zero.

Did you make your Barbie dolls get crushes on each other? I clearly remember making my Barbies have sex lol, so it was way past that stage hahah <<< lmaooo I did that, too. :X

Did your Barbie dolls go on dates? Yeah.

How old were you when you had your first kiss? 16.

Do you like church? Yes.

Do you have scars from self-harm? No.

Do you have cellulite? No.

How old were you when you started getting zits? When I was 13.

Did your hair change at all when you went through puberty? In the fact that I got blonde highlights in middle school.

Are you taller, shorter, or the same height as your mom? Shorter.

Would you ever consider adopting a child? I don’t want to have children.

Who was your first roommate? I’ve never had one.

Have you ever had a teacher who was rude? I had two really rude math professors in community college. They were awful.

Is your mom paranoid? No.

Do you trim your own hair? I did when I had bangs.

Did your mom read you bedtime stories as a child? Yes.

What are all the things you remember being for Halloween? A witch and vampire stand out the most, but there were others.

What was the name of the first pet that you loved? My dog, Scruffy.

Did you have your own room as a child? Yes.

What color was your nursery? I don’t know.

Did your parents know your gender before you were born? I think so. Was that a thing back in 1989? lol I’m dumb.

What is your name (first and middle)? All you need to know is Stephanie.

What would you have been named if you had been born the opposite gender? My mom has said Jesse.

Do you like your name? Sure.

What would you name your children? I’m not having kids.

Do you exercise regularly? I don’t exercise at all. 

Do you have a healthy BMI? I’m underweight.

What is your favorite season? We’ve been through this.

Do you look like your mom? Yes.

What is the origin of your last name? Irish.

What is the meaning of your first name? “Crowned”, I think.

What month were you born in? July.

Do you share a birthday with anyone in your family? Nope.

Do you have a sweet tooth? Nah. I crave sweets now and then.

What photo editing software do you use? Usually, I just use the filters on Snapchat or Instagram, but I have a couple photo editing apps with other filters. That’s the only thing I do to my photos, I don’t go crazy with it.

Where do you buy most of your clothes? Hot Topic and Boxlunch.

[bipolarwitchcraft]

Awnser all the questions of the post you recently reblogged.

Yeet 1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?-water bottles. I like metal ones. 2. chocolate bars or lollipops?-lollipops3. bubblegum or cotton candy?-cotton candy4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?-a pleasure to have in class and a creative writer. I wrote a lot of stories and was told by a few teachers I could be a published author when I got older. I hope they’re right. 5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?-cans the easiest 6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?-boho goth county would accurately describe me7. earbuds or headphones?-earbuds but not apple earbuds Bc they hurt8. movies or tv shows?-tv shows under 30 mins bc my attention span is 2 seconds (excluding the Orville and 911 bc those are amazing shows)9. favorite smell in the summer?-well water and main and tail shampoo10. game you were best at in p.e.?-volleyball. If I didn’t have to play 2 sports to be in athletics I would have played it in high school. 11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?-I don’t eat breakfast usually at school but when I work at camp I’ll usually have 2 eggo waffles and peanut butter maybe with a plum or something 12. name of your favorite playlist?-drive songs 13. lanyard or key ring?-key ring. I can’t stand having my keys on a lanyard 14. favorite non-chocolate candy?-Swedish fish 15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?-the secret life of bees and of mice and men. They are the only two I actually read all the way through and didn’t sparknotes lmaoo16. most comfortable position to sit in?-completely slouched in a chair with on leg crossed 17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?-my serape ariat cruisers or my berks 18. ideal weather?-70s to mid 80s with a nice breeze 19. sleeping position?-I’m a stomach sleeper lol but I usually try to fall asleep on my left side 20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?-note book. My favorite are the 5-star note books. College rule. One subject. 21. obsession from childhood?-dinosaurs and rocks. Still relevant today as a geology major22. role model?-don’t have role models. They always disappoint. Just be a decent person and do what you enjoy. 23. strange habits?-I rub the corners of blankets and pillows and such on and under my thumb nail. But only my right. I also poke my tongue out of my mouth a little when I’m riding. 24. favorite crystal?-I’m a sucker for amethyst. But quartz is also a favorite. I have natural quartz clusters all over my backyard at home. 25. first song you remember hearing?-besides like baby songs it was probably something my dad was listening to so I’m going to say Loser by Beck or Sweet Home Alabama bc those have been staples of my life. 26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?-ride and then immediately jump in the lake 27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?-read 28. five songs to describe you?-I don’t know enough about myself to know what describes me but my favorite songs rn are ‘99’ by Barnes Courtney, Colours by Grouplove, Pumped Up Kicks by foster the people, Talk Too Much by Coin, and Broken by lovelytheband 29. best way to bond with you?-talk to me 30. places that you find sacred?-nature, whataburger at 3am, and my room 31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?-I always feel badass when I wear my show chaps 32. top five favorite vines?-omg so many. Road work ahead, Adam, any from that kid that wear his hoodie and has his ears sticking out (snoooooooooop), well when life gives you lemons, you either kill your self or get killed what you gonna do 33. most used phrase in your phone?-lmaooo34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?-tide pods with gronk 35. average time you fall asleep?-midnight ish 36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?-ummmm it was probably some iFunny shit 37. suitcase or duffel bag?-duffle 38. lemonade or tea?-sweet tea 39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?-lemon meringue pie from Bluebonnet Cafe 40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?-some much. Some let a rooster loose in the main hall and no one could catch it, some left stink bait in the locker and the whole school smelled, some just showed up and gave my ag teacher a calf, we had a interim principal who we called Bernie Sanders which he hated and sent out a announcement video telling us to stop and we only got worse 41. last person you texted?-my mom42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?-jacket pockets 43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?-oof I’m a sucker for a cardigan 44. favorite scent for soap?-lavender 45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?-fantasy 46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?-over sized t shirt47. favorite type of cheese?-mozzarella 48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?-I feel like I would be a strawberry bc im a strawberry blond/a redhead 49. what saying or quote do you live by?-sometime it just be like that 50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?-this video has my gasping every. Single. Time. If you’re sad PLS WATCH: https://youtu.be/23B017ZVIx451. current stresses?-finals and getting my wisdom teeth removed 52. favorite font?-I only use times new roman lol I don’t type a lot 53. what is the current state of your hands?-dry but my nails are getting long which I’m glad about54. what did you learn from your first job?-I worked retail so I learned how to handle people at their worst lol 55. favorite fairy tale?-I like the Disney Rapunzel, but I also like the original telling if the little mermaid 56. favorite tradition?-watching the 24hours of a Christmas Story during Christmas 57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?-self harm -body image -fighting 58. four talents you’re proud of having?-creativity through writing, riding, baking, common sense59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?-bro60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?-yoooo61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?-I’ve read too many books to have a favorite line from just one lol, but I heard “I’m a grown up ass man I can do what I want” on AP bio which was pretty funny 62. seven characters you relate to?-Nina Zenik from Six of Crows. That’s it. She’s the only one. 63. five songs that would play in your club?-I cannot stand clubs or bars so none lol64. favorite website from your childhood?-fucking moshimonster.com and girlsgogames.com 65. any permanent scars?-yep. I got burned as a baby and still have the scars on my fingers 19 years later. I have a lot more as well. 66. favorite flower(s)?-I’m more of a succulent person so cactus flowers 67. good luck charms?-I don’t really have any 68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?-I had ranch flavored soda once so that takes it. But I don’t like cheap beer either. 69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? -a daddy long leg spider is the most poisonous spider but their fangs are too weak to pierce human skin 70. left or right handed?-right 71. least favorite pattern?-houndstooth 72. worst subject?-calculus 73. favorite weird flavor combo?-hot Cheetos and sour cream74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?-575. when did you lose your first tooth?- 5 y/o76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?-mashed 100%77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?-jade succulents 78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?-I like sushi from HEB 79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?-school id80. earth tones or jewel tones?-earth times 81. fireflies or lightning bugs?-firefly 82. pc or console?-Uhhh idk??? 83. writing or drawing?-writing 84. podcasts or talk radio?-talk radio 84. barbie or polly pocket?-Polly pocket. Forbidden gummy 85. fairy tales or mythology?-mythology 86. cookies or cupcakes?-cupcakes with no icing 87. your greatest fear?-bugs crawling in my ear 88. your greatest wish?-to be successful and happy with a S/O and a daughter on lots of land89. who would you put before everyone else?-my parents 90. luckiest mistake?-There are no mistakes. Everything happens for a reason. 91. boxes or bags?-depends 92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?-sunlight93. nicknames?-my dad calls me sissy bug and my mom calls me bamber and my friends call my dumb bitch lol so 94. favorite season?Spring or fall. They’re basically the same in Texas. 95. favorite app on your phone?-social media apps96. desktop background?-I don’t have a desktop but my laptop is just a pre downloaded galaxy ones. 97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?-mine, my moms, my dads, and my dads business 98. favorite historical era?-ancient Egypt and the 60s

[supernatural-firstwatch]

Season 3 Episode 8: A Very Supernatural Christmas

I didn’t get to watch any episodes yesterday due to my D&D session. Where my character died. But I’m in the process of creating a cat race(Tabaxi) monk warlock character who will be attacking in a cloud of darkness and possibly screaming “BECAUSE I’M BATMAN!” as he beats the shit using Flurry Fists. As soon as I figure out how to even properly play a monk-warlock. I’m relatively new at D&D (though at this point I have played a Human Rogue/Fighter (the newly deceased), a Half-Elf Bard (campaign was cancelled), and a Tiefling Fighter/Sorceress, so it’s not a bad mix of characters for someone who’s been playing for about a year). 

Sadly I don’t see either Sam or Dean getting into D&D, which is a pity. :P

ON WARDS TO THE NEXT EPISODE! I hope it’s a silly one with a name like that. Reminds me of all the Psych X-Mas/Holiday themed episodes.

- Grampa Santa just ate it up the chimney. Also, that title sequence is hilarious! With the hat and the snow. LOL!

- Man, Jared is SO MUCH TALLER than Jensen. I know it’s really only 4-5 inches, but it looks like so much more on screen!

- WHAT? DEAN! DO YOU NOT KNOW WHO MARY POPPINS IS?? God, your cultural references that do not involve ghost movies or rock bands is awful. LOL! “Actually, I have an idea. It’s going to sound crazy.” ‘Oh yeah? What could you possibly tell me that would sound crazy?” ‘Er... Evil Santa.” *pause* “Yeah, that’s crazy.”

- Dean ruined Christmas for Sam and told him there was no Santa. Dean is like my middle brother. He did the same thing when I was 6 and got excited about getting a Barbie house. Told me my parents had dragged it around in the trunk of the car all the way to where we vacationing. Mind you, my family is Jewish. :P

- BWAHAHAHA!!!! Boston Market for X-Mas. Oh man, I remember all the Boston Market when I was a kid. I loved the cream of spinach and the corn bread. 

- Well then. Sam and Dean have VERY different feelings about their childhood Christmases... I hope they elaborate on this because I live for Weechester knowledge!

- YES! FLASHBACK TO 1991!!! When Sam was 8 and Dean was 12! Oh Sam. 20 questions. “Nobody ever tells me anything.” “Then quit asking.” Have I mentioned Dean is my middle brother? Woah. Dean. That... is not the way to talk to your brother about Mary. And then he bails out and leaves Sam alone. That’s a great memory...

- Sam, no! “He’s just kidding. We only came here to watch.” That just makes it worse! You creep! 

- NO!!! LOOOOOL!!!!! DEAN SINGING SILENT NIGHT!!!!! AND THEY DON’T EVEN KNOW ANYTHING EXCEPT THE FIRST LINE!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! It’s a good thing that wanna be Santa is high and drunk AF. 

- Uh huh... Is the kid going to be a casualty this time around? It’s been adults up until now... Nope... Evil Santa is going to the kid’s parents’ room. And taking the dad. In a red bag. Kid, how about you move your ass and call the goddamn cops instead of just standing there and letting your dad be kidnapped/killed! 

- LOL! Sam giving a Christmas history about how it’s really a pagan holiday and NOT Jesus’s birthday! As a matter of fact Dean, the Easter Bunny is ALSO Pagan! Also, Sam knows that because he paid attention in school. 

- Sam is getting all flak about loving Christmas and being picky about it when he actually really fucking hates the holiday. LOL! I wonder how that went with Jessica and whether they celebrated it at all. 

- Sam, it’s Dean’s “last” Christmas before his soul gets reaped to Hell! Of course he wants to celebrate it and make it special! AWH! SAM! Dean wants to celebrate it because it’s his last Christmas and Sam doesn’t want to for the exact same reasons, because next year he’ll be alone...

- BACK TO 1991!!!! And Sam finds out that monsters are real by snooping around and reading things he shouldn’t. Dean is the best. Also, is that the same actor that played Dean in the Shtriga episode? It looks like it. Awh, poor Sam is now petrified for John, Dean, and him. If only he knew that he’s already been killed at least almost twice by the monsters.

- Ok, so, like, Mrs. Carrigan and her husband are way too Stepford Wives for that to be real. Dean reaching for the peanut brittle, LOL! that mand is ALWAYS eating! Glad to see Sam thought they were way too weird too! 

- If they’re so into Pagan stuff, why is their entire house decorated in Santa Clauses? Like, it’s like X-mas threw up all over their house. Oh well, NEVERMIND! That basement is just WRONG! Well, there are the boots. And the bag. And pieces of humans? 

- OH! DEAN JUST GOT HIS HEAD BASHED AGAINST THE WALL! And Sam is being held up by the old lady! Clearly a disguise. Oh gross WTF! The flashlight over their faces!! And Sam just got his head bashed in too. 

- HAHA!!! “Or what? You’ll eat us?” Sam the sasser. 

- OMG! I am LOVING these two gGds. Fucking hilarious! Dean should say “Quiznak” instead of fudge. “You quiznak come near me again, I’ll quizanking kil you!” #voltronreference!  

- I wonder if the fact that Sam has demon blood in him will make a difference to these two Gods. 

- Also, there’s no actual cut in Dean’s skin as she is cutting his arm. Ooops! AH! AAAAAH!!! WHAT IS HE DOING TO SAM’S FINGER??? ARGH THAT’S SO GROSS OMG HE’S RIPPING OFF HIS FINGERNAILS OMG THAT’S SO NASTY I CAN’T WATCH!!!!!!! AND HE’S RIPPING OUT DEAN’S TOOTH!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK SAVED BY THE FUCKING BELL, DEAN!!! Is it Bobby? Nope, just a random neighbor.

- HAH! The boys slipped their ropes. And now they’re getting their asses kicked by the Gods. Good job, Sam! And Dean! 

- Back to 1991!!!! Dean, you’re such a liar. It wasn’t John. It was you. You brought in that crappy tree and strung up the lights. John was never there. He was never back from the hunt. GOD, DEAN! YOU KILL ME!! YOU ARE SUCH A CINNAMON ROLL!!!! OMG! DEAN! DID YOU JUST STEAL A RANDOM GIFT FROM UNDERNEATH A TREE??? AWH! Sam worked it out. Sammy, it’s the thought that counts! He just tried to give you a Christmas... 

- AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!! IT’S THE NECKLACE!!!!!!! THAT DEAN IS ALWAYS WEARING!!!!!!! THESE BOYS ARE SO CUTE!!!!!!!!

- AWWWWWWWWW!!!!! SAM DECORATED THEIR ROOM FOR CHRISTMAS!!!! 

- LOOOL!!!!! Skin mags and shaving cream from Dean. Fucking brilliant. And a candy bar and oil from Sam. “Food for me and food for my baby.” #heartbreak

- Sam is trying so hard not to cry! And look! It’s snowing again! 

Awh... This episode was both really funny and cute and HEARTBREAKING at the same time. These boys. *sniff*

[clumothy]

All of them :3

I deserved this.1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

Soda cans

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Chocolate bars

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Proooooobs cotton candy. Bubble gum loses its flavour way too fast

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Angry, annoying, uncooperative, etc. I wasn’t a pleasing student in elementary school

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

Soda bottles

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

I’m a fan of formal wear

7. earbuds or headphones?

headphones

8. movies or tv shows?

movies

9. favorite smell in the summer?

campfires

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

badminton

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

I usually skip breakfast

12. name of your favorite playlist?

“heck” lol its fun when I yell ‘Hey Siri, shuffle heck!’

13. lanyard or key ring?

key ring

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Sour Patch Kids

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

The Great Gatsby

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

leaned on one side with a leg up

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

I have a zipup pair I love

18. ideal weather?

15 ° Celsius and sunny

19. sleeping position?

face down!

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Phone notes app

21. obsession from childhood?

I mean, Pokemon, Mario, Sonic, etc. The usuals

22. role model?

RDJ is pretty inspiring when you read his story

23. strange habits?

sleeping chest down? I’m not that strange of a person

24. favorite crystal?

Emerald

25. first song you remember hearing?

Another one Bites the Dust by Queen

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Go for walks. I am dog.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Stay inside. I am cat.

28. five songs to describe you?

A) Your Love - The Outfield

B) Heat of the Moment - Asia

C) Get a Ride - The Northern Hues

D) Comfortably Numb - Pink Floyd

E) Is it arrogant to say Iron Man - Black Sabbath?

29. best way to bond with you?

Quiet talks in low lit rooms. Sounds creepy, is fun in practice.

30. places that you find sacred?

The kitchen

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

Dress as formally as possible

32. top five favorite vines?

I’m a Giraffe, Adam!, Is that a weed?, only one thing worse than a rapist, and of course: SHAWDY I DON’T MIND!

33. most used phrase in your phone?

“That’s Fair.”

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

Avenge the Fallen

35. average time you fall asleep?

1:30 am

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

Does the Lazy Song by Bruno Mars

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

Duffel bag

38. lemonade or tea?

if its iced, tea.

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Anything with meringue wins

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

Someone gave the special needs kids weed brownies and that was a weird day.

41. last person you texted?

You

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

I love my jacket pockets because they arent the average hand pockets but I keep my phone wallet and keys in my pants pockets

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

leather jacket

44. favorite scent for soap?

uh. soap. Pumpkin I guess?

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Tie between Fantasy and Superhero

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

tshirt and boxers

47. favorite type of cheese?

Dude. Cheesestrings are good. Idgaf

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

A spicy pepper

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

“When you can do the things that I can, but you don't, and then the bad things happen? They happen because of you.”

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

God you or chaz have said something like every week that made me laugh harder than the previous thing

51. current stresses?

doggos and schoooooooool

52. favorite font?

the uh. The coca cola font is nice. Isn’t it also the ford trucks?

53. what is the current state of your hands?

a tad beat up but healing nicely

54. what did you learn from your first job?

Only give 100% of your effort if it makes you happy. If you’re giving 100% and you aren’t happy I guarantee no one cares. If you can get away with giving 60 or 70% and your boss is fine with that, awesome. Giving 100% all day every day is exhausting and if your job expects that of you it truly isn’t a good place to work. In my opinion at least

55. favorite fairy tale?

SHREK.

56. favorite tradition?

I dont really have any but I’m excited to start one or two

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Depression, school, learning to let go of “toxic and entitled” people

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

singing, designing, thinking quick and mathematics

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“Talley Ho!” I wanna be a pirate don’t @ me

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

A farmer. I like Stardew Valley but as an anime

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

All that is gold does not glitter - J. R. R. Tolkien

62. seven characters you relate to?

Tony Stark, Peter Parker, Link Link, Jim Halpert, Edward Elric I guess, Bilbo Baggins, and uh. uh. Shrek?

63. five songs that would play in your club?

The Malo Mart theme on repeat, we don’t need any other songs. Ever.

64. favorite website from your childhood?

Webkins and Miniclip

65. any permanent scars?

Three on my head/face, one on my stomach and probs one forming on my finger

66. favorite flower(s)?

lavender

67. good luck charms?

I love that triforce chip you got me

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

PEPPERMINT!

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

Nintendo almost owned the Sony Playstation but backed out last moment. WHOOPS.

70. left or right handed?

Right for most things but oddly left handed on other things

71. least favorite pattern?

I agree with you, pokadots suck. but especially uneven pokadots

72. worst subject?

Biology

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

spicy and sweet, like the spicy gummies i had

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

10

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

who knoooows. Proooobs at age 3?

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Tater tots! also fries too and flavoured chips

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

A cactus. Lets get a cactus.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Sushiiiiii

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

School ID.

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Jewel

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

WHATS THE DIFFERENCE

82. pc or console?

Both have perks but console mostly

83. writing or drawing?

drawing

84. podcasts or talk radio?

talk radio

84. barbie or polly pocket?

polly pocket. When i was a kid i went to this babysitter and the girls all played with Polly Pockets and I was the only guy and Polly Pockets were the same size as my Mario toys!

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Mythology

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cookies

87. your greatest fear?

The death of those around me

88. your greatest wish?

A peaceful life with you and our friends with little to no stress

89. who would you put before everyone else?

You

90. luckiest mistake?

Breaking up with you a few years ago? Idk kinda helped our relationship in the longrun

91. boxes or bags?

Boxes

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

lamps

93. nicknames?

Clum/Clump/Clumothy and Smeef

94. favorite season?

Spring

95. favorite app on your phone?

Tumblr probably

96. desktop background?

The master sword in the korok forest

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

two.

98. favorite historical era?

Medieval!

hooooly shit that was long

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #357

“your magic white rabbit has left its writing on the wall  /  we follow like alice, and just keep diving down the hole”

Are you better at telling stories or writing them? Writing, by a long shot. What’s one song you hate, but know every word to? i'm a barbie girl in a fckn barbie woooooorld What’s your favorite magazine? I don’t read magazines. If you could be an animal for one day, which animal would you choose? Probably a house cat. Be indoors and safe, able to just nap... lol. But I'd want another cat as a friend, too! Do you prefer outdoor or indoor concerts/events? Indoors, by a mile. I get hot outside way too easily. Do you know if you were a planned child? I don't know. What’s your favorite gem? Dragon's breath opal. As an adult, do you want to live in an apartment or a house? I'd like to live in a house, especially with the pets I want. I doubt many apartment complexes would allow multiple reptiles and inverts. Do you like the stem or leafy part of the broccoli? It doesn't matter much to me, but I prefer the stem. The texture is more likeable to me. Do bats frighten you? No, I adore bats! Does Paris appeal to you? Yeah, it's a pretty place. Are you a KPOP fan? No, I've never really checked it out. How long was your longest relationship? Over three and a half years. First time you kissed the last person you kissed? We were outside roasting marshmallows one night. Do you have to really know someone to kiss them? Absolutely. I don't dish 'em out for nothing. Were you anyone’s first kiss? No. If you had to be named after one of the 50 states of America, what state would you WANT to be named after? I actually think "Nevada" would be kinda pretty as a name? Do you think morals are universal or relative to the beliefs, traditions, or practices of individuals or groups? I've wondered this for a long while, really. I lean towards it being a mix, maybe? But more towards universal, I think... with some exceptions. This answer is all over the place, I honestly don't know. Is torture ever a good option? If no, why not? If yes, when? No? I think the "why not" is obvious... You just don't. What do you think is one one of the most undervalued professions right now? Teachers, garbagemen, retail and food workers... There's a lot. Have you ever seen anyone have a heart attack? Thank Christ no. Have you personalized your answering machine/voicemail? No. Have you ever had Fiji brand water? I actually don't believe I have, though it's always looked appealing to me, haha. What’s your favorite horror movie? The Crazies and the first Silent Hill, as well as both Blair Witch Projects. What was the worst thing a friend has either done or said to you? I'd rather not even think about things the bitch said to me. Are you biracial? No. When was the last time you got mad and broke something? I've never broken something when mad. What color dress did you wear to prom? My first was maroon, second one was black. Who is the cutest baby you know? My friend has a daughter named Scarlett who is absolutely gorgeous. Have you ever thrown a rock at a window? No, because I respect people's fucking property. Has anyone ever thrown a rock at your window? No. Does your hair react well to dye, or does it damage it? It likes to not take dye at all. >.> I have only had one instance where a friend dyed it red and it stuck for months and months, but we kept it in for a couple hours, I think. My normal hairdresser says it's because my hair is really healthy and I guess rejects it. What kind of pet do you wish you had? I ramble plenty about how I want tarantulas and more reptiles, haha. I also DESPERATELY want to rescue or foster an opossum. When was the last time you were diagnosed with something? Are you concerned about anything regarding your physical or mental health at the moment? I haven't been diagnosed with anything in quite some time, I believe, but as I'm going through the process of being approved for TMS therapy for my depression, my bipolar diagnosis is being questioned, which is... strange to me. It's been acknowledged by many a doctor that I have bipolar 2, but if insurance recognizes my primary diagnosis as bipolar, they won't cover TMS because it can massively excite the mania portion of bipolarity, and therefore I can't do it because we can't manually afford it. I'm willing to take the risk by far, as I've never had issues with mania, but I can't without insurance. I'm just waiting to hear back from them... What is one blanket judgment you tend to make about people (like, you judge all people who live at home, all people who drink, etc)? Does this judgment come from a particular personal experience? I really don't know. How do you react to other people yelling or slamming doors? Is this something you ever do too? I get very scared if it's a man. I don't like anyone doing it, and my anxiety will spike regardless, I'm just terrified of angry men. Have you ever lost your cool at work or somewhere else important? What happened as a result? No. Who has the power to break you? Jason still might. I don't know. Is anyone in your family blind? My sister is legally blind in one eye. Do you believe in evolution? Yeah. I do find the concept odd, that ALL LIFE originated from one thing, but I sure ain't got a better explanation, so. What job do you think people should be paid the most for? Surgeons, maybe? I dunno, that's a big question. Were you ever held back a year in school? Did you ever skip a grade? No. Have you ever been given a hickey? Have you given one? Yeah to both. What is your least favourite thing about your full name? I have the most basic white bitch middle name in the world, lol. Do you like the age you are? Eh, I don't mind it much, but I think it'd be better to be in my early 20s versus mid 20s. I'm just always so tired now. I can't believe I used to refuse to go to sleep before 10:30. What’s your favourite kind of poptart? The chocolate sundae one. If you had to eat one type (Chinese, etc.) of food which would it be? American bc I'm not very adventurous with food at all. When did your family immigrate to wherever you live now? *shrug* Are your fingers long, or short? Long. Mom's always said I have "piano fingers." Do you play Pokemon Go? If so, what level are you and who’s your buddy? Yeah, I love it, but don't play it nearly as much as I want because I don't exactly go anywhere, lol. My bud's Charmeleon, and I'm probably like five EXP from level 28. Do you ever sit indoors and wear sunglasses or a hat? I don't own either, so. Do you know how to read animals’ behavior? I honestly think I'm very good at it. Do you like playing video games? If so, what do you usually play? Yes, but not as much as I used to. All I really play nowadays is World of Warcraft. The only working console I have is a PS2, and I haven't bought a new game in probably a couple years, but there are definitely ones I want to play, mainly on PS4. Just can't afford it right now. Have you ever viewed the moon through a telescope? No. Do you know how to properly eat food with chopsticks? No. There's no way I could, given my tremors. Do you prefer reading books, comic books, manga/graphic novels, magazines, or the newspaper? Books. When is the last time you ate donuts? It's been months, man. I've seriously been craving a glazed one, though. Krispy Kreme sounds amaaaaaziiiiiing. Has anyone ever called you sexy? Somehow. Do you like raisins? NO NO NO NO NO. Have you ever overheard a conversation you weren’t supposed to? More than once. Do you like ants? They're genuinely extremely fascinating animals, but they're seriously annoying nevertheless. Did you like the movie Antz? I loved it as a kid. What was your favorite ice cream flavor when you were little? Chocolate. Is it still your favorite? Eh, depends on the day. By the way, what is your name? Brittany. What time zone do you live in? EST. Do you like cats? I love cats. What’s the most creepy experience you’ve ever had? One night when my mom and sister were at the beach for a dance competition, I was having trouble sleeping, and it only got worse when my dog Teddy started freaking the fuck out, barking loudly and staring intently at the foot of the bed. I was so scared that I tried to force his head to lie down, but he fought against me. I was terrified, but got up out of the bed and went into the living room to call my mom at like 3 in the damn morning, and she had to have our neighbor come over to sleep in the house with me (I was in a different room that night). You can't convince me that there wasn't paranormal shit going on. I think the house was haunted honestly, for multiple reasons. What’s the most boring game to exist? Why do you dislike it so much? Hm, I dunno. What’s the coolest place that you've ever been to? What’d you do there? Disney World was very memorable as a kid. We just went around collecting signatures, going on rides, all that fun stuff. I'll never forget fireworks at the castle. If you’re interested in having a long-term relationship with someone, do you think that waiting a certain amount of time before you first have sex is a good idea? Or does it not matter? I think it's a good idea, personally, mostly for the sake of reducing the spread of STDs. Just because you think you'll be long-term, doesn't mean you will be. Besides that, isn't there a science that sex and feelings of love are connected? Like, sex is impossible without at least some underlying emotions? I might be entirely wrong, in which case forgive me for spreading misinformation, but if that's so and things don't go as planned, you've gotten emotionally invested in someone too early and wind up getting hurt. You do you, I just don't think it's smart. Have you ever discovered something big by looking through someone’s phone, Facebook, email, etc.? No. Have you kept anything from your past relationships? (Things they left at your house, gifts, notes, etc) Do you think that’s a big deal for future relationships or not? Yeah, like plushies and little stuff like that. When it's tiny things like I just mentioned, I really don't think it matters. I think some things might be questionable to keep, but at the same time, I don't think it's really wrong to keep memories of a happy time, if the thing still brings you joy and has been emotionally disconnected from the ex? Idk. Do you have any financial regrets? Either way, what’s an example of a GOOD financial decision you’ve made? Going to and dropping out of college three fucking times. I don't know about a good financial decision seeing as I'm not even in charge of my own finances, nor really have any to begin with. Are you a believer in “signs” from the Universe about things in your life? If you are, can you think of a particular example? No. Name some things that one or both of your parents are really good at or really interested in. Mom LOVES medical stuff, like watching surgeries and stuff like that. She is also absolutely incredible with children. Dad likes sports a lot, hockey and football especially. Think of a good friend of the opposite sex (currently or in the past). Have you ever had any sort of “more than a friend” or sexual thoughts about them? If not, can you explain why? Well, we dated briefly, so... It was awkward to, but I let myself imagine sexual situations a few times to help myself understand if I really did like-like him, or if he was truly just a brother to me. Turns out, he's a bro. If someone told you that you would never achieve something and you ended up doing it, would you have any interest in finding that person and showing them? I'ma be honest, yes. I wouldn't actively seek them out, but rather just hope they somehow find out or I run into them or something. What is the most jealousy-induced thing you’ve ever done? Apparently, be the girl Juan liked instead of this girl that literally threatened to deck me. Guess what? We're friends now lmaoooo.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #188

“don’t you try to hide with those angel eyes.”

Would you rather take a walk in the cold rain, or in the blistering heat? Ha, the rain, any day. What is your favorite card game? Magic: The Gathering. If it were revealed that religion in its entirety did not actually exist, would your outlook on life be any different? No. If you had the chance to slip through a portal, despite being aware of any of effects and/or consequences, would you do it? No. Which parent was more strict when you were growing up? Mom. Worst facial hair, in your opinion: The pedo mustache. You know the one I'm talking about. Have you ever eaten dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets? Yes, I like, demanded we get those instead of regular as a kid lol. McDonalds, do you like it or does it disgust you? I honestly don't see why people hate it?? Do you like the state you live in? No. Did you ever own a Tamagotchi? I believe so. What do you hope you grow out of? The laziness I have with chores oops. What is the healthiest and unhealthiest thing you do on a regular basis? Healthiest, drink at least one bottle of water... even though I know that's nowhere near where I'm supposed to be lmao. Unhealthiest, drink soda. What is the most embarrassing thing you own? Ummmm idk. What is the strangest habit you have? I have to go use the bathroom literally right before I lay down for bed. Doesn't matter if I did ten minutes ago, I /have/ to go again because if I feel even a damn drop in my bladder, I can't sleep. What movie made you cry the most? The Notebook, probably. Titanic really got me, too. What was one of the happiest moments of your childhood? Getting my dog. What’s your favorite vacation memory from when you were a child? Watching the fireworks above the castle at Disney World. What impression do you try to give when you first meet someone? I try to be very polite. Who or what inspires you to be a better person? Mark. What’s the TLDR description of your last relationship? I didn't like him like that. If you found out your current life has been just a dream, would you choose to wake up? (You don’t know if your real life would be better or worse.) No. Well... do I ever wake up? If I was going to at some point, then I would, as I'd just be hurting myself by living in a word I would only leave. What dumb thing did you believe for a really long time? I'm not even remotely kidding, I didn't put together what "PMS" stood for and thought it was about mood swings 'n shit *during* your period until a few months ago. Where would you like to retire? I'm not thinking of that yet. What brings you the most joy in life? Talking/being with Sara. How many windows are on the upstairs part of your house? We don't have an upstairs. Do you own many hats? I have a Carolina Hurricanes one somewhere from going to a game with Dad, maybe two actually, but idr where they are or if I even still have them. When was the last time you were kept off school/work etc because of snow? I haven't been in school in a long time and I'm unemployed. Have you ever taken an underwater picture? No. Ever been on a ride and hated every second? Not seriously. I went on one I was terrified of (one of those circles that goes waaay up and then abruptly drops you) just to step out of my comfort zone, but I didn't hate it. Scared tho. What were an average day’s tasks at your favorite job you’ve had so far? I most certainly don't have a favorite. Does your car have a backup camera? I don't have my own car, but Mom's doesn't. Are you working on any goals? Yeah, not going well. :') Do you enjoy reading? Not particularly... I kinda just stopped enjoying it, but I also associate it with the hospital because that and coloring was all I ever did. The only thing I really *enjoy* reading is our RP because I'm so deeply invested in our characters, but even then, I procrastinate reading long posts. I'm genuinely trying to start reading again, though... I used to adore it. Are you interested in politics? No, though I should care. Did/Do you enjoy high school? Not usually 'cuz I was a depressed shit. Have you ever watched The Golden Girls? YES Ma and I love that shit. Did you ever like the Ninja Turtles? No. Ever been in a meaningless relationship? Tyler, yes. Does anything on your body hurt right now? Not at this very instant. Know anyone on birth control? Most girls I know + myself. Would you go swimming right now if you could? Yeah, that'd be nice. How long was your longest relationship? Over 3 1/2 years. What are you looking forward to in the next 3 months? My birthday. Have you ever gone frog hunting? No. Who’s the last person to seriously hurt you? Mom. Do you like getting dirty? NO. Are you a very flirty person? No. Who was your favorite babysitter? "Uncle" Donny. Do you swear? I think I make that pretty obvious. Are you gullible? Not usually. What is the last dream you remember? (describe) A nightmare with Dad that I don't really remember the details of. What is something that you fear will happen to you in the future? (Also why) I'll develop Alzheimer's. "Why" is obvious. Thankfully, it doesn't run in my family at all. Describe the best day that you can remember? First day at Sara's. Describe your worst day? The night of the breakup. What are some of your favorite songs right now? The SYN remix of Slipknot's "Psychosocial," "Incense and Iron" by Powerwolf, the "Closer" cover by Asking Alexandria, "Sex Metal Barbie" by In This Moment... I really have a lot rn. Do you ever have reoccurring nightmares? Describe? I've had four nightmares with my dad, all with horrible themes. I guess you could call that "reoccurring." Name a fictional place you would like to go? Take. Me. To. Azeroth bitch. Stormheim in specific, or Feralas. What criminal (dead or alive) would you like to sit down and talk to and why? None. If you read books, what are you reading now? I'm very, very slowly reading The Fault in Our Stars. Do you think that forgiveness is mandatory to move on from something? No. I still don't know if I forgive Jason, yet I'm over it. Do you believe in the death penalty? In extreme cases, yup. Some people have no right to life following some crimes. What is something you want to do but are scared of actually doing it? Ride a rollercoaster. Name three things you would buy if you had the money to buy them? A PS4, drawing tablet, another tat. Are you in a relationship right now? If so, do you think it’s a healthy one? Definitely! (Follow up) If it’s unhealthy, what makes it that way? N/A Would you ever date someone long distance? I am now. Name a person that you can’t stand and tell us why? My former best friend for a plethora of reasons. What group do you hate the most on Tumblr and why? SJWs. I'll stay away from "why" because I have extremely strong feelings and don't wanna offend anyone. What is the meanest thing you have ever done to someone, and why? Messaged Jason before leaving for the ER, directly blaming him. I mean the cause was what he did, but like... you don't fucking contact someone telling them "hey I'm off to the ER because I'm suicidal because of you." I don't care what I feel about him now, that was fucked up. Have you ever sent anon hate to someone? Nope. If you could write a book, what would it be about? I actually think it'd be pretty cool to create some sorta novel series involving all the RP stories, like divide the books into each mob's story... If you could make one rule that everyone had to follow, what would it be? Don't exhibit violence. If you could star in a movie, what kind of movie would it be? ONE W/ TIM BURTON. In your opinion what is something horrible everyone should try once? ?????????????????????????????? What is the hardest lesson that you have ever learned? Someone can fall out of love with you. What mistake do you keep making over and over again? Jumping to conclusions. If you could have a video of one event in your life, what would the video be? The moment Sara and I met. What is the most illegal thing you have ever done? Pirated a computer game I desperately wanted to play afsjjwoeuqowe I'm glad I don't have it anymore, that guilt. People in the past were buried with things that were important to them, what would you be buried with? The pebble from Holly Hill. What is something you are against, but find yourself doing anyway? Being sarcastic as hell when I'm mad. What was the last photo that you took? A leaf, I think. What are your favorite lyrics from a song? Probably "a bloody war behind my eyes; I'll come all right on the other side." Have you ever hit someone? Who and why? Nicole when we were little for making me mad over something I don't remember. What do you think they should teach in school that they don’t? Basic adult skills. What’s your favorite language? German. It sounds so powerful to me, especially in metal ajsfoawoejaw. What’s the most vivid dream you’ve ever had? I don't remember. Who’s your favorite celebrity? Korean Jesus. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Rebel's Market rip. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant? No, far from on my to-do list. I don't support them in the very least. How many tattoos do you have? Six. If you don't have any, have you ever thought of getting one? N/A When's the last time you ate a homegrown tomato? Like, '16 on a sandwich. Are you a good cook? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Do you know how to pump your own gas? No. What do you think about the most? The future. What do you do most when you are bored? Watch YouTube. Which came first: the chicken or the egg? Chicken. What kind of books do you like to read? Fantasy. How far away from your birthplace do you live now? Like, <10 minutes. Ever been stung by a jelly fish? No. Could you cope with the paparazzi if you were famous? FUCK NO SOMEONE WOULD GET KNOCKED OUT. Do you wear foundation? Veeeeery rarely. Would you ever adopt? If I actually wanted kids, sure. Are you sexually active? No. Last person you sang happy birthday to? Sara. <3 Was the last jacket you wore yours? No. Last thing you won? Uhhhh good question. What level of brightness do you usually keep your phone at? A bit above the middle. Have you ever attended a religious or private school? Well, I went to Sunday school. How many cars does your household own? One. What's your favorite meat? Ummmm pork or chicken. What's the best amusement park you've ever visited? Well, Disney World. How old were you when you got your first car? I still don't have one lol. Do you know anyone who's gotten pregnant over the age of 40? I don't think so? Who does most of the grocery shopping in your home? Mom. Are you listening to music right now? If so, what's the theme of the lyrics? "Adrenalize" by In This Moment. Sex, like it seems most of their songs are about lmao. What movie/game/etc. helps you calm down? Shadow of the Colossus. What does your room smell like? Dog, probably. Do you like to organize? Not particularly. What song is your aesthetic? "She" by Dodie is so Soft and Good. Do you believe in auras? Maybe? Idk. What do you wish you hated, but actually like? Blood On The Dance Floor. I've never really looked into the concrete facts, but I know supposedly they've been sexually involved with those underage. I like a good number of their songs, though. Is there someone you have mixed feelings towards? I'm sure there's someone. Do you prefer space or the ocean? Spaaaaace. What form of government do you like the most? (capitalism, socialism, etc.) Honestly? I don't know actually what they are and I don't care enough to research. What do you think our purpose is in the universe? Hell if I know. Is there a song you can’t handle listening to, even though you like it? "Stairway to Heaven." What ex do you miss the most, if you have one? I most miss who Jason was, not who he became at all. But it doesn't matter, I have someone way more important now. What is your favorite thing to learn about? Meerkats. What country’s history do you find the most interesting? Idk. What breakup was the hardest, if you had one? lol y'all know Do you have someone where you can’t decide if you like them romantically or just as a friend? Not anymore. Do you have any strange interests? RP. What is a topic you are uncomfortable with discussing with most people? Sex. What is something you dislike about the dating world? People don't seem to take love seriously. What gives you confidence? Feeling knowledgeable on the subject. Have you ever dated someone with very different sexual tastes than you? No. Well, not that I know of. I've only been sexual with one. Have you ever said anything you regretted while drunk? No. Has anyone ever been extremely jealous of you? Do you know why? Idk. What was the angriest your parents ever were at you? Dad, idk. Mom, probably when I said "fuck you." That was a night. Or when she tried to kick me out of the car for some argument I can't remember. What was the longest you stayed in your own home for? Weeks, I'm sure. Right now, what is your number one desire? Get a job. Do you feel as though someone ‘won’ in your last break up? No. Whatever happened to the first person you ever loved? I haven't spoke a word to him in almost two years, idk and idc really. Are you currently healthy? In some ways, but no in most. What is something most people are turned on by but you’re not? Extremely muscular men, like wrestlers. Has anyone in your life changed drastically (for better or worse) since you met them? How? Not that I can think of. What song reminds you of good times from high school? "All Signs Point to Lauderdale" by AD2R ironically lmao. Have you ever inherited something? What and from who? No. Who is the last baby that you held? Keegan. Do you know of any twins with rhyming names? No. Last time you saw fireworks? Long time ago. Do you have a black dog? Teddy has some black on him. Do you have a top price where ethics and morality are no longer an issue? No. Well, I guess it depends. What is the greatest physical challenge that you have accomplished? Losing ~60 lbs. Have you ever played naked Twister? No. If tattoos didn't hurt and you could get anything, what would it be? The #1 tat I want is dA's NukeRooster's painting "Denialism" (I got her permission), but I'm going to have to go to an extreme professional, and it's gonna be priiiiiiiceeeeeeey. Have you ever been ghosted before? No. Did you ever get caught watching porn? No, because I've never watched it. Were you ever the bully? No. What's the worst prank someone has ever done to you? Idk.