#and i did the math and i did listen to almost 21 days in total :Ddd | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

orangepanic · 4 years ago

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I saw this “100 OTP questions” by @the-moon-dust-writings and figured I'd procrastinate:

1. Who loves flower crowns more?

Neither of them really, but Asami might make Iroh wear one just to laugh at him.

2. Who is the one who likes to cuddle?

Iroh. Asami likes it, too, but he usually initiates.

3. Who has awful taste in music?

Honestly, both of them. Asami likes terrible dance music and Iroh likes obscure combinations of horns and bells and stuff from different cultures.

4. Who is the meme lover?

Asami thinks they’re funny. Iroh doesn’t quite understand.

5. How did their second date go?

Iroh tried to take Asami somewhere very fancy, but the wait was too long. They ended up making out in a shadowy doorway down the street and missing their reservation entirely. Iroh was mortified, but Asami dragged him around the corner to a low-key noodle shop that has since become their favorite restaurant.

6. How many children do they want/have?

Asami thinks about three. Iroh, as many as Asami will agree to.

7. Who hides the weapons?

Iroh hides weapons for Asami around the house so she’ll always have something on hand. In a drawer in the kitchen, on her nightstand, etc. He knows she can take care of herself… and he stashes weapons for her anyway. Asami rolls her eyes but secretly thinks it’s sweet.

8. Who is the better dancer?

Asami. She likes dancing, and learned formal dancing in school. Iroh can’t dance at all, having skipped out on all his lessons as a child after bribing his instructor. He thought dancing is boring, but likes dancing with Asami and lets her lead.

9. Do/Did they have a theme wedding?

No. They quite deliberately have a very normal wedding, including cutting out a lot of the more stuffy Fire Nation customs because Iroh doesn’t want Asami to feel out of place not having any family present.

10. What do their parents think of them dating?

Hiroshi Sato is livid, and actually tried to have Iroh assassinated from prison. His little girl, marry a firebender? A prince of the firebenders? Iroh’s parents are more accepting. Izumi initially thinks Asami is too young and gives Iroh a hard time about how quickly he got serious, but quickly comes around when it’s clear Asami is very mature for her age. Within a year Iroh’s parents are both hounding him on when he’ll make it official.

11. Are they a super sappy couple?

They are that couple everybody hates.

12. How did they get together?

They meet during the Equalist revolution, but don’t get together until long after. Iroh has a crush on Asami almost immediately, but spends forever sitting on it thinking it wasn’t the right time and trying to be friends until one day he just kind of slips up and kisses her. She kisses him back. It turns out Asami liked him, too, but she isn’t great at reading people and had no idea he was interested.

13. Who asked the other to get married?

Iroh just kind of blurts it out one day.

14. Who stays up too late and makes stupid jokes?

Asami is the night owl. Iroh makes the bad jokes.

15. Who is the nerd?

Oh my god, both of them. Asami is more of the classic nerd. Iroh is more of a dork.

16. Who knows the most obscure facts?

Iroh.

17. Who makes the other a flower crown?

Two questions about flower crowns out of 100?? Changing this to who is more dominant in bed. Asami.

18. Who likes to read?

Iroh. They both do, but he’s much more into it.

19. Who bothers the other person while the other person reads?

Asami. She has the shorter attention span.

20. Who tutors the other?

They both would in different subjects. Asami is better at math, physics, etc. Iroh is better at philosophy and languages.

21. Do they have similar taste in movies?

No. Asami likes gory slasher films and lots of action. Iroh scoffs and thinks they’re dumb. Asami, in turn, thinks his period dramas can be kind of boring, and refuses to count documentaries as movies. But there’s a healthy overlap in things like Vikings and Game of Thrones.

22. How do their personalities complement each other?

Asami helps Iroh lighten up a bit, drawing him out of his shell, and gives him an anchor and a sense of home. She’s more social than he is, and a lot of her friends eventually become his. But she’s also quiet enough and serious enough that she doesn’t tire him out and can feed his need for downtime. Iroh, in turn, loves seldom but deeply, and gives Asami the kind of fierce, unconditional love and stability she needs. He’s also genuinely interested in her projects, is smart enough to follow most of it, and is one of the only people who can occasionally beat her in Pai Sho. They have a lot of fun together just being nerds.

23. How do they tell everyone that they are going to be having a kid/adopting a child soon?

They don’t have to tell anybody. It’s all over Iroh’s face like a big neon sign.

24. Who has better fashion sense?

Asami, but not by much. She’s more up to date with trends, while Iroh’s style is clean and classic.

25. Who will punch someone out if they are rude to their partner?

Hoo boy, both of them. Do not go there.

26. What songs do they sing together in the vehicle?

Neither of them sing in the satomobile. Iroh has a decent voice, but he’s a bit private about it. Asami mostly hums.

27. What other couple would your otp get along with?

Iroh quickly becomes BFFs with Bolin. Asami and Opal aren’t quite as close, but they like each other’s company and have fun as a foursome. They also get along quite well with Pema and Tenzin.

28. Who likes to prank the other?

Iroh tries more often. Asami’s pranks are more successful.

29. Who is the one who loves to take pictures?

Iroh, though generally Korra is the picture taker in the group.

30. How would they react if they found out they were soul mates?

Iroh raises an eyebrow. “Hmm.” Asami only shrugs. They both already knew that.

31. Where would they live?

They like Republic City and decide to stay downtown, first in an apartment and eventually a larger townhouse.

32. What type of dragon would they own, if they could have one?

Whichever one Iroh made friends with. Asami is a bit wary of animals and would need him to convince her it was safe.

33. If they were both vampires, what type of vampires would they be?

The kind that live in a beautiful house with perfect collections that took hundreds of years to make. Iroh has first editions of everything in a giant library, arranged in a complex system only he understands. He’s working on his 14th language. Asami has invented artificial blood and doesn’t miss sunburns. Occasionally she’ll throw one of those big fancy vampire balls just so they can both get dressed up. They’re pretty happy.

34. What would they dress up as, for Halloween?

They once went as Lady Tienhai and the last king of Mo Ce because picking something obscure and historical was the only way to get Iroh into a costume.

35. Can they name each other’s favourite food?

Kind of. They are both really into food, so picking a favorite is hard. But if the question is can they order for one another, absolutely.

36. Do they have pet names for one another?

Asami sometimes calls Iroh “General Hotstuff” when she’s teasing. Iroh sometimes calls Asami “sex pretzel” when he’s 1000% sure they are alone.

37. How do they cheer each other up?

Asami is more of a gift giver. She’ll show up with Iroh’s favorite take-out or make him something in her workshop—anything to make him feel special and valued. Iroh is all about quality time, and will swing by Asami’s office to haul her out on surprise dates. He also gives great hugs.

38. Do they show a lot of PDA?

No. Iroh is very uncomfortable with PDA, especially when he’s in uniform. Asami follows his lead.

39. How old were they when they got together?

Asami was 19-20, Iroh 24-25.

40. Who is the one that would bring the puppy home?

Iroh, 100%. He’s such a sucker.

41. Can they do yoga couple’s poses?

Yes, though Asami is the only one who really tries.

42. What is their song?

They don’t really have one.

43. What does their room look like?

Asami moved in with Iroh, so it’s very basic. White walls, perfectly made bed, a neatly organized desk in the far corner by the window. He’s a total minimalist, having spent most of his adult life on a ship. Asami added a very fluffy comforter in *gasp* a color and lots of pillows.

44. Who would be the one to kill zombies while the other keeps them grounded?

They’d take turns, and at some point Asami would turn it into a contest.

45. Who makes the other breakfast in bed?

Iroh. Asami is a terrible cook.

46. Who loves kids more?

Iroh.

47. Do either of them have a crazy ex?

Not crazy, but Iroh and his ex are not on good terms. He doesn’t like to talk about it.

48. What are their favourite colours?

Asami, purple. Iroh, black. He gets annoyed when people get him so much red stuff.

49. Who likes to cook?

Iroh. He fired Asami from the kitchen, something they are both grateful for.

50. Who is the forgetful one?

Asami.

51. Does either of them know how to fight?

Have you met these people?

52. What do they do for Valentines Day?

Iroh would probably plan something elaborate for them to go out. Asami would plan something sexy for when they got home.

53. Who swears more?

Asami, at least out loud. Iroh mostly swears under his breath.

54. Who has the better comebacks?

Asami. It’s not even close.

55. Who would start a fight with another parent at a bake sale?

Probably Asami, unless it was about the kids. If anyone comes for Iroh’s kids, they’d better hide.

56. Who reads buzzfeed?

Asami.

57. Who is the hopeless romantic?

Iroh, hands down.

58. Do either of them know how to do a handstand?

Asami can manage it.

59. Who can rap better?

Asami, though Iroh is the only one who actually listens to rap.

60. Do either of them want to go sky diving?

Asami would love to. Iroh laughs. “Been there.”

61. What do they usually text about?

Some version of “I miss you” or random pictures of stuff. They generally only text when Iroh is away as they’re both busy during the day.

62. Who is the dramatic one?

Asami has a shorter fuse. Iroh is more ridiculous when he loses his shit.

63. Is either one confrontational?

Not really.

64. What is their favourite cuddle position?

Asami will lay on top of Iroh on the couch like a sandwich. It’s the only position she seems to be able to nap in.

65. Who are their favourite musical artist(s)?”

See above about terrible taste in music.

66. What are their parenting styles?

Iroh covers a lot of the basics. He sets a schedule, makes lunches, tells bedtime stories, is more likely to help with the homework. Asami is the one who gets them around and does most of the interacting with teachers, other parents, etc. They share things fairly equally.

67. Who would be the more laid back one?

Iroh.

68. Who listens to more vulgar music?

Asami.

69. Do either of them have secrets even the other doesn’t know?

Yes. Asami can be secretive about some of her projects, both out of an abundance of caution but also because she likes a big reveal. Iroh keeps some past relationship stuff close, and will occasionally read a steamy romance novel for “tips.”

70. Who is their go to couple for a double date?

Bolin and Opal

71. Do they tip the waiter/waitress on their date?

Iroh tips very well.

72. How do they work out a fight?

Asami yells. Iroh yells back. One of them storms off. The other one waits about half an hour then goes to find them, usually with an offering of food. There are hugs. Somebody cries. Then they finally talk it out before falling asleep together.

73. Who brings home an illegal pet?

Asami. She is less likely to have a pet, but if she does, it’s going to be a weird one.

74. What side of the bed do each of them sleep on?

Iroh is on the side by the window because he likes to get up with the sun.

75. What is their favorite photo of them two together?

There’s a photo Korra took at the beach where Iroh has Asami thrown over his shoulder right before dunking her in the water. This is the picture he takes with him when he’s deployed.

76. Who takes longer in the bathroom?

Asami.

77. Who has more songs on their ipod?

Iroh. If you can call them songs.

78. What movie did they first see together?

Iroh took her to Last Days of the Sun Warriors. She fell asleep. He said the book was better.

79. What do they like to see each other in?

Asami thinks Iroh’s butt looks great in jeans. Iroh got Asami a red silk robe from the Fire Nation and likes to see it fall off.

80. Who makes jokes during inappropriate times?

Iroh.

81. At what age do they discuss the possibility of children?

Mid-20s, though they don’t have them until a little later.

82. What do they love about each other the most?

Iroh likes that Asami is tough and smart and a problem-solver. Asami likes that Iroh is kind and brave and has a strong moral compass.

83. Who is the one that sees the big picture, while the other focus’s on the small details?

They are both big picture people, which is sometimes a problem. Of the two, Asami is probably better at details, but she’s also forgetful.

84. What would they write on their partner’s social media’s for their anniversary?

Asami would probably put up a picture of them and say something brief but sweet. Iroh doesn’t really understand social media and would just paste a heart-eyes emoji.

85. Who is bad at math?

Iroh. He’s not bad, per se, but Asami is very, very good.

86. Who googles everything?

Asami.

87. Who does stuff on impulse?

Both of them in different ways. Asami is generally more flexible. Iroh usually has a plan but makes big decisions completely off the cuff.

88. How do they comfort each other when they are helpless to do anything about the situation?

Lots of physical touch. Iroh will kind of just wrap himself around her in one giant, whole body hug. Asami will spend some time cursing out whomever is causing the issue, then let him lay his head in her lap and give Iroh a good head scratch or massage.

89. What is an inside joke they have?

There was one time they had sex in Asami’s office at Future Industries, so occasionally she’ll drop things like, “feel like coming by the office?” with a suggestive eyebrow waggle. Iroh is, predictably, very embarrassed. Also interested.

90. Who makes the other smile with almost no effort at all?

Asami: *exists* Iroh: *smiles*

91. What is their favourite holiday?

New Years is a big deal in the Fire Nation. Iroh loves his family and likes going home, and Asami has grown to love it almost as much.

92. Who is the one that is calm and collected while the other is angry and destructive?

They take turns. Both of them can have quite a temper when pushed too hard.

93. What is their favourite board game to play?

They’re both big Pai Sho fans, but can get into any kind of strategy game. Nobody really likes to play them though, they're too good.

94. Who accidentally sets something on fire?

Asami. Iroh hasn’t had a fire accident since he was four.

95. Who has the car ready while the other is robbing the store?

Asami. She’d rob the store, too, but no way is she letting Iroh drive.

96. What artist/group did they go to for their first concert?

Iroh booked a private box at the Republic City Opera, thinking that was an impressive thing he should do on a date. It turns out neither of them like opera, and by the end they were both making fun of it.

97. Who sleep talks?

Asami. Iroh thinks it’s funny.

98. Who is the more social one?

Asami, by a long shot.

99. What are their karaoke songs?

Neither of them would really sing karaoke, but Iroh cannot hold his liquor like at all so if he ever got really plastered Asami might be able to drag him up there. By which point he’d be too far gone to have an opinion on the song and would sing just about anything.

100. Who would get up on stage and make a fool of themselves just to make the other laugh?

Asami.

#irosami #this is all canon now #kidding

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jaxsteamblog · 5 years ago

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First Date

Click here to read the full fic on AO3 (brief depiction of graphic violence)

It rained the entire weekend in Hira’a, so Zuko and Katara spent their time at Noren’s home. Katara watched in fascination one afternoon as Kiyi pulled out a broad canvas and she and Zuko sat cross legged on the floor looking at it. Zuko cupped his chin in a hand and tilted his head as Kiyi rattled off math and color theory. Eventually they got into a discussion on brush strokes so Katara got up to help Noriko with tea.

They watched movies, played board games, and helped around the house doing chores. It was the most mundane yet calming experience of Katara’s life.

After the weekend, she returned to school and things settled down a bit. People would ask her about the Avatar from time to time, but mostly the discussions were about the impending examinations.

Rohan sent her a video of Thuy at one of Toph’s matches, and Katara hadn’t seen such an expression of bi awakening since Sokka was introduced to the warriors of the North Pole.

[Do you think she knows?] Katara texted Rohan.

[She has no idea.] They replied.

More videos came as Thuy started her training; the Avatar cycle demanded that elements were taught in a certain order. So earthbending came first, and Toph proved to be a merciless, albeit chaotically so, master.

She called the Avatar “Wet Wipe.”

Katara sent videos back of her mountain of texts, or the weird things she saw happening in the library at 2 AM.

Zuko was less inclined to use social platforms than Rohan, but still managed to contact her just as much. He sent texts of new teas, or random parts of his day while in the palace. Those pictures were always a bit shocking; his long hair fell loose down his back save for his top knot, and his clothing was much more formal.

For some reason, when he sent her a picture of himself in his court robes, it made Katara blush.

Still, they texted in the morning and before bed, which was dancing at the edge of friendship and romance. It was frightening how long Katara would agonize over an emoji sometimes.

As midterms approached, everyone sent her encouraging messages or memes. Rohan was the best at making her laugh, so she had to resist pulling her phone out during study sessions. Thankfully, her concentration had gotten better since she started attending a PTSD group on campus. The exams still stressed her out, and her sleep schedule was still utter garbage, but at least now she had a plan.

After her final exam, she left out a breath and texted Zuko.

[So, date?]

The plan was a movie and then dinner. That way, Zuko informed her, they would have something to talk about while they ate.

“We might miss our show time.” Zuko said and Katara snorted.

“But we will absolutely have something to talk about.” She replied.

“Be quiet!” A man growled and Katara rolled her eyes.

The rope around her wrists rubbed against her skin painfully. When she leaned back, she felt Zuko’s back stiffen to support her. His hands and feet were encased in metal to keep him from firebending.

They had been grabbed in the parking lot. Zuko, lacking any sense of self-preservation, had gone for Katara as two men held her. This opened him up to the woman behind him, who slammed a baton into the back of his head. As he went down, one of the two men who held her dosed Katara with chloroform.

Waking up in the back of a van had been less than ideal.

“Look, you very clearly were not hired by my father, which means that you’re not of any real caliber of kidnappers to keep me here.” Zuko said. The woman who had knocked him out turned in the passenger seat to glare at him.

“And how do you know that, princeling?” She asked.

“Because you don’t know who my companion is.” Zuko said.

Without the full range of her arms, there was very little Katara could do in the way of bending. But she only had a little bit of liquid to work with anyway, so it didn’t matter.

“The Waterbender? We know your little girlfriend isn’t much of a fighter.” The driver scoffed.

Using her fingers, Katara called the blood from Zuko’s head wound. It came as a glob between her thumb and index finger, so she stretched it into a thin thread. Flicking it out, she mimed the act of sawing with her two fingers and the blood acted it out over the rope around her wrists.

It was going to take awhile.

“So what is it that you want?” Zuko asked. “Ransom?”

“Shut it pretty boy.” The woman hissed.

“Oh that’s original. Sure, make fun of the guy with the burn on his face. I know you’re criminals but do you have to be so insensitive?” Zuko retorted. The woman looked perplexed before turning to the driver.

“Did we get the right guy?” She asked.

“Excuse me, I am one in a million.” Zuko said, sounding offended. “I didn’t get this burn just to be treated like a commoner.”

Katara snorted again and almost lost her focus. She was about halfway through the rope and could feel the loosening.

“We know that your sister is going to train the Avatar and we don’t need that psycho corrupting her.” The driver said. “So you’re going to shut up and be a good little bargaining chip or else we kill your girlfriend.”

“Okay so one, she’s not my girlfriend, yet. We were planning on having a nice date, see how things went, and maybe she’d decide to go out with me again. We’re not rushing things here.” Zuko said and Katara smiled. “Secondly, I totally agree with you about Azula. Same page, totally get it. But, and I am not doubting your reasoning skills for a second, how is kidnapping me supposed to change my father’s mind about that?”

“Because if he wants you back alive, he’ll have the Avatar sent elsewhere for training!” The woman snapped.

“Look, where’s the other guy. He’s been quiet, I want to hear his thoughts on things.” Zuko said.

“We’re clear.” Katara said as she cut through the last loop of rope.

“Never mind.” Zuko said and swung up onto a knee. He slid behind the passenger seat and slammed his metal clad hands on either side of the woman’s head. As he heated the metal, she started to scream.

Katara, staggered by her bound ankles, reached out toward the dash. This was another trick she had picked up after her training with Hama and had been used to disable many vehicles during the war. It only worked when people had gotten lazy on upkeep, which was surprisingly frequent among the more far flung troops.

Closing her fists around the water source, Katara yanked her arms back, pulling water and coolant out of the engine. In a quick motion, Katara used the water to peel apart the metal around Zuko’s hands just as she had done to the factory in Jang Hui. Zuko then went to the driver, who had begun to swerve dramatically, and held a blade of fire by his face.

Katara froze herself to the floor of the van to keep from being tossed about while she cut off her last ropes and freed Zuko’s feet.

“Stop the van and we’ll let you go.” Zuko said, his voice low. As the driver seemed to debate the merits of listening to him, Katara went to the woman. She was huddled in the corner of her seat, whimpering and covering her burns with her eyes closed. Pulling water around her hands - making sure to completely discard the coolant - Katara called out the healing energy, making the water glow.

“What are you doing? Get away from her!” The driver said and the van jerked as Zuko brought the blade closer to his face.

“Don’t you worry what she’s doing. It’s leaps and bounds better than what I’m thinking of doing to you.” Zuko said.

Katara touched the woman’s face and she jumped, but didn’t move as the cooling sensation brought relief to her face.

“This will just take a second.” Katara murmured and the woman opened her eyes. She looked terrified.

“I’m a healer.” Katara added and tears welled in the woman’s eyes.

After a few moments, Katara pulled her hands away and the woman brought her hands up, shaking terribly, to her face. As she felt the unburned skin, she started to cry.

“Look,” Zuko said, sounding calmer. “There’s a noodle restaurant there. Stop and let us out.”

“Haruka, are you okay?” The driver asked.

“Y-yeah.” The woman said, still crying.

The driver grunted and jerked the wheel over, coming to a stop in front of a row of shops.

“Katara?” Zuko asked. Katara went to the side door, pulling it open. After she jumped out, Zuko dissipated the fire and followed after. He barely closed the van door before it pulled away, its tires screaming against the pavement.

“Well that was fun.” He remarked.

“Let me see your head.” Katara said with a sigh and Zuko obediently walked to her. She healed him, washing the blood out of his hair before tossing the water into the gutter.

“Hungry?” He asked.

“I could eat.” Katara said and they laughed.

“Does that happen to you often?” She asked as they started to walk to the shop. People who had stopped to stare at the van watched them go.

“Less than you’d think, but more than other people.” Zuko admitted. He reached the door first, opening it and standing aside. “After you.”

Katara walked in and saw steam burst from behind the counter. It was fairly pretty and smelled like warmth.

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#zutara #fanfiction #jax writes #modern au #zutara month 2020 #the fic that prompts built

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stormtrprinstilettos · 6 years ago

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“You’re going to make this awkward, aren’t you?” - Roger x fem Reader (smut)

Summary: It’s 1983 and Queen are recording their next album at the studio where you work. Things get a little heated between you and their drummer.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

In this “episode”: Things start to get a bit more serious than Reader would like during a night alone with Roger at the studio.

Word count: ~4.8k

Warning: age gap (Reader is 21, he’s 35), language, and smut, so 18+ please

Tagging: @fixedonroger @a19103 @ginabaker1666 @thickthighsandbasicbrowneyes @culturefiendtrashqueen @imaginesandideas

(Let me know if you want to be tagged!)

[A/N: Thank you for voting! This concept was thanks to 17384 anon suggestions. 🥁 And you’ll even get a little math lesson with Brian in this one.]

One month and 3 days, you think to yourself as you sit at your desk and look through the window into the studio, watching Roger sitting at the soundboard with headphones on, deeply concentrating on whatever it is he’s listening to. Brian’s sitting next to him scribbling something and John’s fiddling around with his bass. You’re not paying them any attention. Your eyes are fixed on Roger, and you can’t turn them away, no matter how hard you try. Stop it, you fuss at yourself. Turn away right now and do the stupid bookwork before Kevin comes back tomorrow and fires you because you’re too busy daydreaming. You force yourself to turn around and focus on the task in front of you. Three months of bank statements he couldn’t be bothered to balance out, and he just threw it at you, expecting you to fix everything. “This isn’t what I signed up for,” you mumble, not realizing you had company.

“Well you didn’t sign up for that either, but you sure are doing it,” Jack laughs, making you glare up at him and seeing him point at the window. “You’ve got yourself a big distraction now, don’t you?” You keep glaring at him, wishing he would just shut up. “Usually they’re the ones distracted by you,” he laughs as he sits on your desk. “Remember when Kevin gave you those two weeks off when…”

“Shut up, Jack,” you say, completely frustrated and not wanting to recount the time that fucking creep from that band you don’t even want to think about didn’t know how to keep his hands or his filthy thoughts to himself. “I have a ton of work to do and you’re not helping.”

“Cheer up, kid,” he says as he stands up and pats you on the shoulder. “You’ll get it done.” He walks back into the studio and taps on the window to get your attention. When you look back, he’s got a big, cheesy grin on his face as he waves and closes the blinds, making sure you don’t get distracted again.

It didn’t help. Not in the slightest. Roger was in your head and he wouldn’t leave. You keep reflecting on everything that happened the past few weeks. Of course, sex happened – but it wasn’t just that anymore. You were enjoying each other’s company without the sex. He’d come over and you’d watch a movie, and you’d fall asleep on the sofa, and he’d cover you with the blanket and let you sleep, sometimes even staying there until he fell asleep too. Or you’d go to the Santa Monica Pier, just to get out and have a fun time somewhere he was able to blend. One night you stayed out on your balcony until almost 3 in the morning doing nothing more than sharing silly childhood stories. It didn’t complicate anything but your feelings, and that wasn’t supposed to happen. Feelings weren’t ever supposed to be involved, but it was hard for them not to be now. Not now that he knew your birthday, and you knew each other’s favorite colors, and you knew about things he did to cause trouble when he was 13, and he knew your sister’s name… Things casual hookups don’t know about each other. He’s picked up on your habit of pushing your hair behind your ear when you’re deep in thought, just like you picked up on his nervous habit of rubbing his hand on his shoulder to calm himself down.

You’re almost finished with half of the book balancing finally, an hour after you started, when Freddie and that creep manager of his who was like his shadow walked in. “Got tired of being gawked at all the time?” he giggled when he saw the window was closed. “Or did you get tired of doing the gawking?”

You purse your lips into a grin, trying not to giggle back, but you end up giggling anyway. “Hi, Freddie. Glad to see you could make it.”

“Not you too!” he dramatically cries out. “I don’t need another person nagging me.” You smirk and turn your attention back to your work as he walks into the studio.

“Nice to see you, Fred,” you can hear Roger yell out while the door was open. “Hey, who closed the window?” Took him long enough to notice, you grunted to yourself as you rolled your eyes. “That’s blocking my view…” you hear him say as the door closes, which gives you a little grin.

Two hours. For two hours you’ve been working on this stupid bank balance and you don’t think your brain can handle anymore. How it could get so messed up you don’t know, but you couldn’t look at another number right now or you were going to lose it. You slam your head down on the stack of paper that’s laying in front of you, wanting to cry, when the studio door opens and everyone starts walking out, laughing and talking without a care in the world. You don’t even want to look up at them. You’re enjoying your momentary zone out.

“We’re going grab lunch, kiddo,” Jack yells at you. “Wanna come?”

You look up, completely drained. “It’s only lunch time?” you ask, almost whining.

“It’s almost 3:00,” he tells you. “Want me to bring you something?”

You shake your head no and start to look back at the numbers. “I need to figure this out. I can’t get the damn thing right. I hate math.”

Brian calmly walks over and peeks at what you’re doing. You look up at him, confused, and he points at the total you have and the one you should have. “You transposed numbers somewhere when you were adding,” he tells you with a smile. “Add the numbers in this together.” He pushes you the calculator and before you finish he says “they’re all going to add up to 9.” He squats down to get even with you and talks you through it. “Add the 7 and 2 in that 72 together, and you get… 9.” You glare over at him and he’s smiling. “Now add this all up again. Carefully, this time,” he chuckles. And what do you know – it balanced. “Just a trick I leaned some time ago,” he smiled as he stood up. “Now you can come with us.”

Roger’s standing in front of you with his arms crossed, shaking his head in amusement. “Well aren’t you the fucking hero,” he sarcastically quips at Brian before looking at you. “Come,” he tells you, holding out his hand. “I insist.”

Everyone decided on the greasy diner across the street from the studio and crowded into a booth, leaving Jack to sit in a chair on the end. It was an uncomfortable arrangement, but you didn’t complain too much, since this was the most contact you had with Roger all day. He sat with his arm behind you on the seat, not even realizing that he kept rubbing your shoulder. He was watching you closely as you ate the strawberry pancakes you cheekily ordered (and yes, he found it incredibly funny), and when you were leaning over the table to be able to hear John better when he was talking to you, showing you the lyrics he had jotted down for his song they were going to be working on tomorrow.

“Do you think they flow?” he asked you. “I think this sounds stupid but I don’t know. It may work.”

You read the part he was pointing to and smiled. “I think it’s perfect. Simple, to the point, and perfect.”

The discussion you were having with John went on for a little while, just the two of you, until Roger apparently got tired of you ignoring him and cleared his throat while tapping you on your shoulder to get your attention. “You’ve a key, right? For the studio?”

“Yeah?” you say, questioning why he wants to know.

He starts to nudge you out of the booth. “Lets go. Need to get something out of my head.” You hurry and jump up and the two of you head back across the street.

When you open the door, he hurries and locks it back and keeps the shades closed on the windows, grabbing your arm and pulling you back to him. “Hey,” he says with a grin.

“Hey, you,” you grin back. “What’s in your head that you have to get out?”

“My ex,” he started. “She’s coming here. To Los Angeles. For a few days.” You look at him, wondering why he’s so fidgety when he’s telling you this, and why he’s even telling you this in the first place. “I told her she can stay at mine…” Now he’s looking at you wondering why you don’t seem to be bothered by any of this, and his brows start to furrow.

You start to giggle. “Were expecting me to start screaming at you? Become some unhinged lunatic or something?”

“A little bit, yeah,” he smiled. “But you’re too relaxed and I don’t know how to handle it.”

You pull him down by his shirt to get close to you and whisper deeply in his ear. “Does she taste as good as me?”

He leans back and looks you in the eye with an intensity that sends shockwaves through your entire body. “No one tastes as good as you.”

“Then I have nothing to worry about,” you tell him with the same intensity he’s giving you right now, as you reach down to cup his crotch. “And you said this was all mine.”

“It is,” he whispered in your ear as he chuckles deeply and moves his hand to your chest. “You have no idea what I’m going to do to you later.” He started to say more, but he’s interrupted by a knock on the door. You can hear everyone outside talking. You roll your eyes and start to walk away so you can open the door, but he grabs you and holds you back. “You’re all I can think about, Y/N.” You gaze up to him, your mouth slightly open with shock. There’s another knock on the door but you’re ignoring it. “You have a hold over me...” He cups your face in his hands. “I can’t…”

He’s interrupted by a louder knock on the door, followed by Jack yelling. “Open the goddamn door, Y/N! Why is it locked?”

You slide away to open the door and everyone pours in and heads directly to the recording room. “Later,” Roger comes and whispers in your ear before joining them, “we’ll finish this conversation later.”

You were internally a jumbled mess for the rest of the day. Every nerve you had seemed to puddle right there in the pit of your stomach. We’ll finish this conversation later? Your brain wasn’t helping calm you down at all. None of this was ever supposed to get to where you’d have conversations later. This was just supposed to be sex and nothing more. End it. End it, you kept telling yourself. He doesn’t mean anything he says, you try to convince yourself. He just wants to make sure I don’t… Your thoughts are interrupted by a knock on the recording room window.

Jack waves you over and you quietly walk in. “They’re working late and I can’t stay. Kid’s got some school thing. Can you stay to lock up?” You really didn’t want to. You’ve had such an exhausting day already, but you agree to stay.

You ended up falling asleep around 8:00, having been bored for the past hour and giving up all hope for a quiet evening at home in front of the television with a bowl of ice cream. Everyone was frustrated – them in the studio and you out in the office. Their frustration is why you stayed out of there. You weren’t in the mood to listen to any bickering. Freddie woke you up when they were leaving – well, all of them were leaving except for Roger, who was still sitting behind his drum kit trying to work out a beat. “He needs your help with the playback,” John told you. “Think you can handle that?”

“All I have to do is press buttons,” you grinned. “I think I can do that.” When they left, you quietly walked in the studio and sat down at the controls.

He didn’t notice you. He was focused on his drums, so you didn’t disturb him. You could see the annoyance in his face until he looked up and saw you sitting there. “Hey there,” he said through the mic. You smiled and gave a small wave. “Play that tape and listen to this…” And you did. Ten times, ten different cadences, and you recorded them all for him. That was about the extent of your abilities – pressing three buttons. “Come in here,” he said with a sigh.

When you walk in he turns on his stool and holds his arms out, beckoning you for a hug. You smile and go to him, and he wraps his arms around your hips and rests his head against your stomach. “Rough day?” you joke as you run your fingers through his hair. Well this is sweet, you tell yourself. You’re supposed to be ending it, dumbass.

“So frustrating,” he mumbles. “Nothing went right after we stopped for lunch.” He closed his eyes and started chuckling deep in his throat. “That feels nice.”

You lean down and kiss him on top his head. “Just relax,” you mumble. What are you doing, Y/N? you fuss yourself. He squeezes you tighter, and the two of you stay just like this for a couple of minutes before he looks up at you and smiles and puckers his lips, which you gladly lean down and give a quick peck to. You’re such an idiot, Y/N.

He lets go of his hold and pats his lap. “Sit,” he tells you, and you do, and holds your waist as he spins his stool around and grabs two drumsticks. “Ever played before?”

“Oh yeah, all the time,” you say sarcastically. “In fact, I’m so good that when Keith Moon died, The Who wanted me to be his replacement.” He poked at you with one of the sticks and started laughing. “Never even held a drumstick before.”

He hands them to you and you take them. “Well that’s going to change,” he tells you as he adjusts them in your hands. He rests his chin on your shoulder and you start to giggle. “You’re going to make this awkward, aren’t you?”

You can’t stop giggling as he holds your hands and starts moving them to hit the drum heads while he glides them around. You aren’t paying much attention. His foot stomping on the bass drum pedal is, well… creating a vibration. “I’m sorry,” you tell him, still giggling. “I’m not a very good student. My teacher is quite a distraction.”

He stops, and he’s giggling now too. “Well it’s hard to be a good teacher when my student is also a distraction.” He rubs his hands up your arms before wrapping himself around you and squeezing you gently into him. He clears his throat, his chin still resting on your shoulder. “I need you to let me all the way in, Y/N.” You turned your head quickly and looked at him, totally confused. “What are you feeling? Right now. Right this second. What are you feeling?”

“Nervous,” you whisper and you both start to giggle.

“That’s not what I mean, silly,” he says as he pokes you jokingly. “I mean, what are you feeling about… us?” You turn your head to him quickly again, looking confused again, and your mouth opens but no words are coming out. “I feel like there’s more to this.” Still, no words can come out of your mouth. “I feel like you’re scared…” You hold a hand up to his mouth, hoping he’ll stop, but instead he moves your hand away. “It’s okay,” he whispers, “because I’m scared too.” For the first time in your life, you’re completely speechless. “But I’m not willing to let that stop me.”

You look up to the ceiling, understanding everything he’s trying to tell you right now, trying to find words. You seem to have forgotten all words. “Roger,” you sigh. “Please…”

“Don’t tell me not to feel, Y/N,” he whispers. “I can’t do that.” He holds two fingers under your chin and turns you to face him. “Look at me,” he whispers, and you do. And you completely surrender. “I know you feel it. You can’t tell me you don’t.” Your heart is beating so fast you’re scared it’s going to burst. Your breathing is getting heavier and you’re still silent, wanting to tell him so bad how you feel – how you don’t want to feel – but you can’t. You can’t say anything. You’re lost in his gaze, his eyes controlling everything right now. He nudges your hips, implying he wants you to stand up, so you do, and turn to face him, still holding the drumsticks in your hands. He glances up at you and gives you that damn smile that makes you turn into putty.

He unbuttons your shirt, not taking it completely off, leaving it opened. He starts to softly kiss you on your stomach as he runs his hands over your hips and thighs, undoing your pants and slowly pulling them down. “These are new,” he tells your with a smirk, running his fingers over your panties, before reaching to grab one of the drumsticks you’re still holding from your hand, tossing it back and hitting something rather loudly. He stops caressing you and takes the other one from you, and he starts to toss it back as well, but he looks at you with somewhat of a devilish grin. He starts to rub the tip of it along your body, across your stomach, down to your pelvis, then your upper thigh. He stands up as he continues to brush your skin, bringing it to the front of your covered mound, giving you another smirk as he grazes it over you right there. “What are you doing?” you ask him with a nervous giggle.

“Playing,” he whispers with a smile as he leans in for a kiss, giggling with you. He moves the stick away, tossing it behind him like he did the other one and laughing. “Won’t be needing that,” he quips. “I can take it from here.” This isn’t lust he’s exuding right now – this is passion. Absolute passion that you’ve never experienced before. Not with him or anybody else. And you loved it, and you couldn’t stop yourself from giving him the same.

You start to unbutton his shirt – that same shirt he was wearing your first time together, and it brought back a wave of memories that washed over you. He didn’t interfere with your undressing him, opting instead to stand there and smile at you, letting you slowly move his shirt off of his shoulders before running your hands down his chest to his waist. You were slipping off your shoes and stepping out of your pants as you unbuckled his belt. He brings a hand under your chin and you look up at him, and for the first time in all of the times you were with him, you felt the need to take it slow, to drink in every single second. He was feeling it too. If he wasn’t, you’d have already been completely naked and halfway to climaxing.

He slipped out of his shoes as you finished unzipping his pants and pushed them down off of his waist, moving yourself down as you glided them completely off. It was quiet – almost eerily quiet. The only sounds were your breathing. You reach up and pull down his boxers, your mouth perfectly even with his cock. You say nothing. He says nothing. You bring your tongue to the tip of his member, slowly and softly licking him clean of the precum that has graced the head, before gliding down underneath the shaft as you hold it up. You feel him start to twitch, letting you know that you were doing everything exactly how you needed to be. When you lower your mouth to completely engulf him, he lets out a small moan and puts a hand on your head, not to guide you, but because he needed to touch you. He let you set the pace, giving up all control, something he had never done before. You start to hum quietly, sending gentle vibrations that he felt though his entire body. He didn’t want to finish – not yet. Not until he knew you were completely satisfied. But fuck, the magic you were creating with your mouth and your tongue felt so good, and you were enjoying it, too. Every twitch, every soft moan, every deep breath you heard him take was getting you more and more aroused.

He takes a small step backwards, and when you look up at him, he’s softly smirking and wiggling a finger for you to stand up and meet him. You slowly stand, and when you do, he gently holds your face in his palms, drawing you in for a soft but deep kiss. There are still no words being spoken. No words need to be spoken. Your eyes and actions are doing all of the talking right now. He finishes taking off your shirt and reaches behind, unclasping your bra, guiding it slowly off of you, just as you had done with his shirt. He bends down and takes your nipple in his mouth, his other hand gently rubbing the other, as he flicks his tongue. Your head falls back, and this time you’re the one with the quiet moans. He raises up again to meet you, and gently guides you back, leaning you on his drum kit. He kisses you deeply again before slowly kissing his way down your neck, that valley right between your breasts, down your stomach and to right above your panties that he admired earlier. He runs his fingers under the waistband and pulls them down, his breathing getting heavier as he revels at the perfection he sees before him.

You feel his breath against your thigh before he lowers his mouth to continue kissing his way to his ultimate destination. With every touch his lips make on you, you flutter. Still, no words are spoken, only actions. When his mouth finally makes its way to your lips, you inhale deeply and your body jerks, causing one of the cymbals to crash down. But you don’t care, and neither does he. His concentration on your pleasure is undisturbed. The warmth of his breath on you, the gentleness of his mouth and his tongue working it’s magic on you causes your breathing to get deeper, quicker. You run a hand through his hair, massaging his scalp with your fingertips. He moves a hand that was resting on your thighs and pulls his head back so he can watch his fingers rub up and down your wetness as he hears your gentle moans getting louder. He looks up at you, his mouth agape in complete awe of you, and he sees you looking down at him, telling him everything he needs to know without saying a word. He watches your eyes as he steadily slides two fingers in, taking great care in making sure you’re able to feel every single motion he’s creating inside of you. He turns his tongue attention back to your flower, focusing on your clit, tenderly guiding it to emphasize your pleasure, his eyes never leaving yours.

“Oh, Roger,” you whisper, finally breaking the silence that had befallen the two of you 20 minutes before. There’s so much you want to tell him – how you love the way he’s making you feel right now, how you love the way he’s lapping up your juices right now, how you love the way his fingers are moving inside you right now – but you’re rendered speechless again, your breath caught deep in your throat. He knows this is what you want. He knows without asking. He can see it on your face that you’re enjoying it. He doesn’t want to stop, not until you’re ready for him to stop. He starts to suck softly on your clit, still slowly moving his fingers in and out of you, knowing how he’s making you feel because your hand has now started to grip his hair. He can feel you tighten and start to tremble with pleasure. He sees you adjusting yourself against his drums – those drums he will never look at the same again – as you get closer to reaching your climax. His eyes never leave yours. Your moaning and breathing both increase, and he doesn’t stop. He keeps licking, keeps sucking, keeps pumping his fingers in and out of you until you finish. Even then, he doesn’t want to stop. He meant it when he said that he loves the way you taste, so even when you finished, he licked up your slit one more time before he stood up and held out his hands for you to grab.

He pulls you up from his drum kit and draws you in for a kiss and you can taste yourself on his lips. He holds you close to him as he turns, walking you back toward the wall. He kicks a guitar out of the way – you don’t know if it’s Brian’s or John’s, nor do you even care – because it was in the way. He leans against the wall with one hand, still kissing you, still dancing his tongue around yours in your mouth, still exuding that passion. Your hands rest against his chest as you break the kiss and look up at him. Your eyes never leave each other.

He pulls one of your legs up and wraps it around his waist, leaving your other foot on the ground before crouching down and pushing himself into you as he grabs your ass and hoists you up. You stayed there, pinned between him and the wall, as he thrust himself hard, but slowly, into you. You wrapped your arms around his neck, running your fingers through his hair, staring deeply into each other’s eyes as you groaned in lockstep with each other, breathing heavy, even starting to sweat at the same time. Still, no words needed to be spoken. You felt everything – you felt his cock hitting your g-spot at the perfect angle and beat, the way his fingers dig into you with every lunge he makes. He feels everything too – every single piece of hair that your hands were grabbing, every grip your walls made around his cock, every single moan that came from your mouth.

You were ready. He was ready. And neither one of you could hold out any longer. Wave after wave of pleasure flowed through your entire bodies, and you pulled his head into yours so you could kiss him as you shared your orgasms. You feel every single drop of his cum burst inside of you. You held his kiss, you didn’t want to let it go, and he didn’t want to let you go either. But you had to let go. You couldn’t stay like this forever.

He pulled himself out of you, slowly, and lowered your leg back down. “You are breathtaking, Y/N,” he whispers. “Where have you been all my life?”

You can’t resist making a joke. You want to resist but you can’t. “Well, for almost half of it I wasn’t even born yet,” you say with a cheeky grin, making him laugh and kiss you again. “Stay with me tonight,” you tell him. It wasn’t a question.

He nods and smiles. “I’d like that,” he whispers.

As you lay in bed, your head on his chest and his arm around you, you didn’t allow yourself to overthink all of this. You didn’t want to analyze anything, you didn’t want to worry about anything. You just wanted to lay there and soak everything in and savor this while you could. You love this, but you hate it all the same, but before your brain delves too deep into the catastrophic end to this fling with Roger that you envisioned, you divert your attention to the night you just had and fall asleep in his arms.

[part 5>>]

#roger taylor #roger taylor x y/n #roger taylor smut #roger taylor x fem reader #roger taylor x reader #roger taylor x you #1983 roger #enjoy

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iwannawritepls · 5 years ago

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Writing Update 05

Guess who finished. guess. go on guess. That’s right it was me!!

It was pretty intense because my playlist had finished and so I was sat feverishly typing the last paragraph out in silence and then when I went round for the final spell check I was listening to Achilles Come Down by Gang of Youths and it finished as I finished and it was a moment.

So so so. in total we have

69069 words (nice) and 102 pages spread over 23 chapters and 5 parts. I can actually go into the plot and stuff now too because I know what that is from start to finish. I won’t go into that here I’ll just talk about the last chapters. Buckle up this ones gonna be long.

Whence last we left off there were 17 chapters and now there’s twenty-three. Chapter seventeen also has an actual name too so yay.

Chapter 17 – Pinches of Catgut

Chapter 18 – Yours Forever, Echo

Chapter 19 – Ink’s Tarnish

Chapter 20 – Red Room

Chapter 21 – Crosshatched Scars

Chapter 22 – Chasing Sundust

Chapter 23 – Amen

Chapter 17 originally is now what chapter 18 and chapter 23 isn’t really an epilogue but it also is y’know? Like the last two chapters are the endings in their own right (I say as if I didn’t stop reading The Darkest Minds seven pages from the end)

But c’est la vie!

Chapter 16 (I can finally explain this stuff woo) we had the fallout to the guy’s being told they have to pay the devil – who isn’t really the devil and is actually a god in his own right but that’s beside the point – back for everything he’s done for them. this one focuses on Valentine and Albert having a bit of a moment where I realised ‘oh gosh everyone is a foil to everyone oh gosh’

Chapter 17 is kinda the same but from William and Basil’s side where they have their own conversation about who Will killed Charlie by accident….yeah…William is still baby he just killed someone that’s fine. This is fine.

Chapter 18 is where shit hits the fan because oh my god James is back!!!!! Idk if I mentioned this but James is Enoch’s dead bf who wasn’t dead at all and I’ve been hinting at it the entre god damned book. I almost didn’t include it but after a talk with one of my friends I realised that James’ being alive would bring in more tea than ever before and well,,,,,,why wouldn’t I?

Oh yeah James also tells Enoch that everyone is coming to find them.

The way I'm explaining this seems like stuff just happens, but I swear I do add threads throughout! I'm just disjointed in my thought process.

Chapter 19 is the beginning of the end. We have a rush to pack as they’re trying to get out and they would have more help from James but Basil doesn’t trust James, Enoch is drunk, William has lost a lot of blood and both Al and Valentine had been asleep so they’re slow and groggy and it’s raining because England and winter and the coast is just a great combination.

Enoch and James end up going ahead cus people are getting close and they need to get their stuff away from there. There were three cases left to tie but they didn’t have time so while James and Enoch go ahead the others are carrying the last three cases to the docks so they can tie and run.

Chapter 20 is where Enoch wraps his beef with Aristide up. kinda. He originally planned on just saying goodbye but then stuff happens and he feels bad for Aristide so he just gives him to the devil without the murder part of it.

Chapter 21 valentine kills his uncle and gets closure™

Chapter 22 this chapter is so good. I love it, I love it so much. I'm still kinda feeling funky about it because its got a flashback and the rest of the book hasn’t got anything exactly like this – unless you consider the small titbit in chapter 17 a flashback. But I really delve into Sebastian’s psyche and before then I kinda hated Sebastian but it feels like he's had a whole ass character arch and I love it. I really love this chapter so much.

And finally chapter 23 is them running and the last of the setup for the next book

I want to include memes but they’re all old stuff. If I have anything new, I’ll insert it if not I’ll keep 5 random facts about the boy’s as my transition.

Albert

When he was a bab he wanted to meet keats before he realised the mans is dead.

Can write in shorthand in both Russian and English just so long as he doesn’t focus too hard on it

Albert is his middle name, Lyonya is his first name

Is a cat person.

Orders the same meal at every restaurant even if they don’t serve it. if they don’t serve it he has a tiny crisis.

Also defo has one of the others order for him

Basil

Defo a gifted and talented student if he was alive today

He's technically an accountant and low key enjoys it

Can fight but is a pacifist by choice

Skipped class once and got bored and never did it again

When they were still at school he would look after the groups deeds to land and do all the legal stuff for them because they had no clue. He still has all of Valentine’s papers and so could technically steal valentines land and nobody would care.

Enoch

Isn’t gay is actually bisexual

Is really good at science but just doesn’t care about it

He ate leek and potato soup exclusively for three weeks on a dare

Once played Mercutio and tripped on stage. Managed to hide it pretty well but hasn’t lived it down.

Would live in an old theatre if he could just for the aesthetic and bragging rights

Valentine

His family is of German heritage

Bakes as a stress relief but gets hyper focused on one thing for ages (tarts is the big one of the year)

Is the mum of the group but wouldn’t ever admit it

Cannot do maths for shit. or much else. He can just speak a lot and paint.

It’s a continuous joke irl and in novel universe that he’s called Valentine, but his birthday is on February 15th because his parents thought it was still February 14th when he was born.

William

Allergic to honey but would eat it anyway

Joined classes three years after everyone else

Is the only one in the group that understands people

Has a really bad centre of gravity and falls over a lot

He's 6’7

Bonus – a wild Sebastian appeared.

Acts 50 is 20

Is just brine

In a constant state of identity crisis

Was he born or did he just appear fully formed? Nobody knows

Always stuck as Benvolio. No matter what. forever. He hates it.

Excerpts! –

“you are a walking disaster.” Basil sighed

“I'm your favourite disaster though.” He could hear the smile in Enoch’s voice.

I just like these lines. Nothing too deep just thought they were funny.

Basil placed a hand on his knee hoping the rain could drown out what the music that followed William could not.

My mans being a supportive friend

He finished pulling the manuscript together and reached for the box Albert kept all his current writings in. it was a small box with darker patches between the broken veins where ink had spit and flowed between the cracks.

i have nothing to say about this

They only had real tenderness with some of the fragile things. A school given copy of A Midsummer Night's Dream, a book by a man called Sashenka Potemkin, teacups with still blooming meadows painted onto them, a book about a monastery, a violin case that had nail marks embedded into the leather, an easel.

Y’know keepsakes are Important but if you’re running shouldn’t you pack light? Probably but these guys are sentimental bastards

The shops were alive with people, the two pubs were open and selling even the tailoress was in business. He wasn’t entirely surprised; worms came out during a storm. They thrived when the squawking of the gulls had disappeared.

We live in a society – Enoch 2019

The gate yielded under his hand, the closest he got to acceptance in the high walls. It seemed colder once he’d walked into the threshold, urging him towards the sickening feeling of unbelonging that sat in his gut. It made him want to turn away and never come back some of the time. How much he didn’t belong there.

Sebastian is yearning™

Basil reached into Albert’s pocket and pulled the crocus out. Albert didn’t react as he did so. he stared at it twirling it between his fingers staring at the petals and their untarnished glory despite having been used to kill them all at least once.

And while that isn’t the last line that’s the end of this. I'm taking a break from beginning anything big and while I want to move onto writing Adalius, Ariane and Adionis’ story I’ll wait for a moment before I do. just because I cant bring myself to think about how I'm starting this yet.

Anyway. That means no updates for at least 3 weeks. I know you’re all distraught. But yeah.

I hope you have a good day.

Thanks for reading this!

BYEEE!

#writing update #i finished something #its the end of an era #i miss my boys already #gosh #whats next #i dont know #i wanna take a nap #im gonna take a nap #thanks for reading this #and all of these #writingupdate #and i love my boys #sisyphus update

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lovemesomesurveys · 5 years ago

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All About Numbers

1/One/Uni/Single 1. Are unicorns your favorite mythological creature? Nah, I’d choose fairies. 2. Have you ever ridden a unicycle before? Nope. 3. In what ways are you unique? *shrug* I don’t think I’m all that unique. 4. Have you ever listened to the band One Direction? Yeah. 5. Have you ever been required to wear uniform for work or school? The preschool I went to had uniforms. It was cute plaid skirts and a collard shirt (I forget what color) with the name of the school on it in small font on the left side, I believe.

6. Do you own a universal remote? Nope. 7. How do you believe that the universe was created? God. 8. Have you ever come in first place in any sort of competitions? Yes. I participated in some wheelchair races when I was a kid. 9. Have you ever had a solo before? No. 10. Are you single? Yep.

2/Two/Bi/Double 1. Do you own any duplicates of anything? What? Pillow cases. Oh, and I have several pairs of the same leggings. 2. Do you know anyone who is bisexual? Yeah. 3. When did you first learn how to ride a bicycle? I didn’t. 4. Do you personally know of any sets of twins? Yes. 5. Do you eat double-stuffed oreos? Those are the best. 6. Are you able to identify when a double letter is needed in an English word? (ie: bubble vs. trouble) Yeah. 7. Do you own a pair of binoculars? Nope. 8. Have you ever made the same mistake twice before? Oh, I’ve made the same mistakes several times. :/ 9. Have you ever felt like you were second best? There’s a song by Nelly that goes, “two is not a winner and three nobody remembers” I’m three. 10. If you have a job, do you get paid bi-weekly? I don’t have a job. 11. What’s your favorite movie sequel? Hmm. One of them is It Chapter 2. 12. Name some things that you own “pairs” of. Socks, shoes, pants, leggings. Okay dumb question probably, but why is it a pair of pants? Like, socks and shoes I get cause there’s two. There’s just one pants, though? Same with underwear. 3/Three/Tri/Triple 1. Can you name the different types of triangles that there are? Yes. 2. When did you get your first tricycle? I didn’t. 3. Name something in real life that resembles a triangular prism. A tent. 4. Three Blind Mice or 3 Little Kittens? 3 Little Kittens. 5. Do you like 3 Musketeers candy bars? How about the movie? Yes to the candy bar. I’ve never seen the movie, though. Doesn’t appeal to me. 6. Do you prefer the 3 Little Pigs or the 3 Bears tale? Goldilocks and the 3 Bears. 7. Do you know any triplets? No. 8. Have you ever participated in a triathlon before? Nooo. 9. Have you read any good book trilogies before? Several.

10. Have you ever sang as part of a duet or a trio before? Nope. 4/Four/Quad 1. Do you know any sets of quadruplets? No. 2. Do you know anyone who is a quadrapalegic? No. 3. Did you learn about quadrilaterals? Yes. 4. Why was each section of a graph referred to as a quadrant? Cause there were 4? 5. Do you exercise your quads or your biceps? No. 6. Have you ever played “Four Corners” in school? I think so. 7. Which shapes have four sides? Squares, rectangles, quadrilaterals, rhombus... 8. Have you ever heard a barbershop quartet in action? Yes, at Disneyland. 5/Five/Quint/Pent 1. Do you remember what you were doing when the Twin Towers and the Pentagon were damaged? Yes. I was actually home from school on bed rest after recently having spinal surgery. I just remember my mom running into my room and changing my TV to the news and watching everything unfold. 2. Do you know any sets of quintuplets? No. 3. Have you ever seen the movie “Quints” before, on Disney Channel? Yes, I was just thinking of that movie. 4. Have you ever tried to score a “five finger discount”before? No. 5. Do you know anyone who has celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary? Yes. 6. Do you Listen to Five Finger Death Punch? Nope. 6/Six/Sex 1. Do you know of any sextuplets? Nope. 2. Are you able to draw a hexagon? Yeah. 3. Favorite number out of: Six, sixteen, or sixty? Sixteen. 4. Are you scared of the number “666″, which is supposedly an “evil number? I don’t like when they appear in that sequence. 5. How did you celebrate your sweet 16 birthday? I had a party at an outdoor venue with family and friends. 7/Seven/Sept/Hept 1. Do you know of any septuplets? No. 2. Which one of the seven deadly sins do you exhibit the most? Sloth. 3. Does the number 7 have any sort of religious significance to you? I know what it means. 4. Do you know anyone who is 70 or in their 70′s? No. 5. Do you like That 70′s Show? I did during its original run, but when I watched several years later as an adult I wasn’t into it. 8/Eight/Oct 1. Do you remember anything about Octo-Mom? Oh jeez, yeah. 2. What color/shape is a STOP sign? It’s a red octagon sign.

3. Is an octopus one of your favorite animals? Noooo. *shivers*

4. What did you do for your 18th birthday? I went to one of my favorite touristy cities with my family and hung out for the day. 9/Nine 1. Do you really believe that cats have nine lives? No.

2. When you turned nineteen, did you ever go to Canada to drink, since in most places the legal drinking age is 21? Nope. 10/Ten, 11/Eleven, 12/Twelve/Dozen 1. Can you count to ten in any languages other than English? En Español. 2. When you get upset, are you able to calm down by counting from 10 to 1? I’ve never really tried that. 3. When you say you’ll be ready in ten minutes, do you truly mean that, or does it really mean like, an hour? I don’t even give a time, usually. 4. Have you ever adopted any of your pets through the Ten Lives Club? No. I’m not familiar with them. 5. Would you rather have a dozen eggs or a dozen doughnuts? Dozen doughnuts.

6. Have you ever had a Baker’s Dozen of anything before? I think so. 7. Have you ever seen the movie 12 Angry Men? Nope. 8. Have you ever seen the movie Cheaper By The Dozen? Yes. 9. Finger Eleven or EleventySeven? I liked that one song by Finger Eleven. I think it was called, “One Thing.” 10. Do you like the song “The 12 Days of Christmas?” Yep yep. 21 & 25 1. Are you legally old enough to consume alcohol? Yes. I have been for almost 10 years now. 2. Can you rent a hotel room? Yes. 3. Can you rent a vehicle? Yes. 4. At what age did you get married? I didn’t. Don’t plan to, either. 5. At what age did you move out? I still live with my parents. I don’t have any plans for the foreseeable future to move out. It’s best for me. 6. Do you know anyone who has celebrated a “silver anniversary”? (been together for 25 years) Yes. Other Random Questions About Numbers/Counting/The Word “Count” 1. What is your favorite number? 8. 2. When did you first learn how to count forwards? Backwards? How about skip-counting? Uhhh. Before I started school I learned how to count. Not sure exactly when I learned how to do so backwards or skip counting. 3. Do you count your blessings? I try to remember those, but it’s so easy to get caught up in the bad and see nothing else. 4. Do you “count your chickens before they hatch”? No. I usually expect them not to hatch or I’m anxiously waiting until they do. 5. Is there anyone that you are able to count on? Can anyone count on you? I know I can always count on my family. I try to be them for them, too, but I know I haven’t been the best at that these past few years. :/ I’ve been too wrapped up/caught up in my own shit and I just haven’t been there for my loved ones like I should be. I should be doing more. 6. Do you remember The Count from Sesame Street? Yes. 7. How often do you have to stop, go back, and re-count your money? I do it more than once to double or triple check. 8. Do you know how to read Roman Numerals? I know the first 10. 9. Do you know how to use tally marks? Yes. 10. Do you still use your fingers and toes to help you count? My fingers, yes. I’ve never been good at mental math. 11. How many children do you have/want to have? Zero. 12. How many jobs have you had in your lifetime? Zero. 13. How many years of schooling did you complete? Like 20 years total. 14. How many candles were on/will be on your birthday cake this year? 31. 15. Have you celebrated your “dirty thirty” yet? Yeah, that was last year.

[a-zebra-is-a-striped-horse]

#personal #text #survey #surveys #numbers

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sartorialatlantan · 5 years ago

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Silver Lining and A Brief Backstory

Whether you’re an optimist or not, anyone, even if only in hindsight, can see the silver lining of a bad situation, circumstance or series of events. When I was 20 years old I ended a three-year relationship with my first serious girlfriend. We had met at 17 or so and it was your classic teenage love story. We were young and foolish and led by a shared faith in evangelical Christianity that I would eventually and happily abandon. We had convinced each other and ourselves that it was ordained by god that we came together and that when the time was right we would get married. To add insult to injury we told nearly everyone we knew about our plans at all of 18 years old, so naturally the sting of embarrassment came with the sting of separation. I don’t need to, nor do I care to go into details of our breakup or what brought it about, but this tiny bit of back-story is crucial to understand the silver lining that would follow. Now that I’m saying it out loud, to call what followed a silver lining doesn’t even really cut the mustard, what followed was the absolute best thing that’s ever happened to me.

It’s safe to assume that anyone reading this has been through a breakup, maybe even safe to assume a bad one or two. We all know how down in the dumps, miserable and depressed and isolated and totally alone you feel when you separate from someone you were literally saying, “I love you” to not one day ago. It’s an awful place to be, whether you’re 20 or 35 or 50 etc. it’s just plain awful. And I imagine it’s existentially worse the older you get because of the looming fear that you’ll be too old to meet someone else before the clock stops. While that may be true at 78, the irrational brain of an 18 or 20 year old will tell them the same thing. So in the wake of my adolescent breakup I drank, a lot. I took up smoking and heavy drinking and gave up on the idea of partnering with someone ever again. Some of this ridiculous thinking goes back to the Christian thing, and apologies now if you take offense so some of what I say about that faith. When you’re 20, and for the last 3-4 to years you not only thought, but believed at your bible thumping core that you were paired with someone else by gods own hand and it ends, well to put it plainly you A. start doubting that there even is a god or B. find it impossible to understand why god would start something and end it. Now in hindsight, it’s really a mixture of A and B and I also now realize that if god is real, his most famous creation to date (us) has a beginning and an ending. It’s also very easy to religiously rationalize everything to fit your made up narrative, kind of like biblically cherry picking in reverse.

I’m not going to go into my exiting the church and Christian faith altogether, that would be too far removed from the topic at hand, but I will say that when I left it, and truly let go of it mentally, it was the most calming and freeing feeling I had had at that point. All it took was squarely asking myself, practically in a mirror, “do your really believe in this, do you REALLY believe in ANY of this?” When I answered “no” I felt a combination of grief and relief; on the one hand I was letting go of what had been the norm to that point and on the other I was free from what rabbi’s refer too as “a wrestling match with god”, and that freedom felt better than any made-up wave of holy spirit baptism ever had. Bottom line, if you’re an evangelical and truly believe that you have a private, gibberish love language with god, don’t mock what the Mormons believe, it’s just as ridiculous. I knew too many Christians in those days who couldn’t see that irony. Some still can’t.

Now back to the story. There I was broken hearted and feeling like life was over at 20, it was time to grow a beard and become a wandering nomad. Maybe I’ll get a motorcycle and seek out an outlaw gang and just ride til' I die. Maybe I’ll head up the east coast and get a job on a boat out of New England. Really all of my ideas involved my look first, and occupation second. Anything involving hand tattoos and a long matted beard would’ve sufficed. But then, some time passed and I would eventually turn 21, which opened up a whole new world, the bar scene. Now, still in the throws of depression, single and not loving it, I proceeded to the bar scene with a new drinking friend named Will in the East Atlanta Village. We drank and socialized all over the village, almost every night too, to excess. We were not, living, laughing or loving as the girls touting faux happiness, post break-up say in their Facebook statuses. There was the Graveyard Tavern, a very large dive bar with something akin to a dance floor and a pool table area. Then the Glenwood that at the time had a horror/cult movie theme down to movie posters laminated under the tabletops. There was My Sisters Room and Mary’s, a lesbian bar and gay bar, separated by a side street and Grant Park Pizza. Then you came to the 5 Spot, which was a dive bar and punk music venue, then across the street from there was the Flatiron, which was the shape you’re picturing. It sat below 13 Roses Tattoo, which for that era in my opinion was the best shop in town. If you took a hard left from there you could walk up to The Earl, a dive bar with pretty damn good food and a solid standing room only music venue in back. And lastly across from there was The East Side Lounge, the perfect spot if you wanted to do cocaine while watching Predator 2 on the TV over the bar. I never did cocaine, but everyone in town knew that’s where you went to score some, or to watch Predator 2 while drinking $2 PBR on draught.

This little village was our spot for nearly a full calendar year, Will and I rarely took anyone else along, because no on else was as equally miserable as us and who needs positive company when you’re binging cheap beer pitchers and smoking a whole pack of cigarettes in one night? Now, to be clear, it was always to the two of us but we were making the attempt, occasionally, to meet women. 20 something, tattooed, smoking, drinking, most likely cocaine doing, women who were 100% not interested; we were suburb boys and you could practically smell it on us, and these were city chicks, with sleeve tattoos, hidden piercings and a palpable hate for their fathers. Maybe I’m adding that last part for effect, but you get the idea. Now that said, in that time span I did manage to meet and get to know a girl or two, I think Will did too but nothing ever really stuck.

Now I’m going to back up, but keep in mind this was all happening by night, most nights of the week, but by day I was still working at the same place I am now, didn’t love it then still not crazy about it today, but that’s a whole other topic. Some days after work, before Will and I would venture to East Atlanta I would go meet up with this piano player I had been introduced to by a former band mate who needed a guitar player capable of on-the-fly melodic riffs to accent his songs. In the band I had been in before, that was literally all I did, so we were a good fit. He would play his latest song for me a few times through headphones and then I’d start “noodling” as they say until I landed on some solid melodic hooks to overlay on what he had already recorded. We had a solid system, and he paid me in pizza and beer and we could smoke cigarettes in the studio. Just for a brief tangent, you have to smoke inside in these situations. If you and your fellow musicians are trying to accomplish something in the studio, but you’re walking outside every 20 minutes to have a dart you’ll never get anything done. So I would listen and noodle and drink and smoke and eventually eat. Once I tapped into a riff he liked we’d build on it together, shape it, shorten it, lengthen it, whatever it needed, then we’d lay it down and repeat. This was a regular thing for me a couple times a week. It went like this, get up, go to work, leave, go home grab my gear, head to the garage studio, record, smoke, eat, drink, leave, drop off the gear, grab Will, and be in the Village by 10pm or so. Then we’d stay til' last call, go home, shower, sleep, wake up, repeat. If you’re doing the math, yes I was driving most of the time, it was stupid and reckless and I’m not proud of it and it was over a decade ago lets just leave it at that and drop it. There’s no one to make amends to for anything from those days, other than a few girls that I probably drunkenly intimidated buy hitting on them too much. Anyways, this was the pattern for the better part of 20 to 21. Now, cut back to my Jesus-y girlfriend from the beginning of the story. To the best of my knowledge she was off in a new circle of friends, living and laughing and loving and meeting new people and I knew for a fact she was dating around. Through this new circle of friends she would eventually meet Kristen, and if you know me, then you know my wife’s name is Kristen, yes the very same Kristen. Kristen was 26 at the time, recently divorced from a total dipshit, we’ll leave it at that, and she too was socializing with a new circle of friends.

To help you keep up with the wild web of who begat who, at this point in time, if I hadn’t separated with my girlfriend when I did a year prior, she wouldn’t have started dating who she did and met the string of people who would eventually introduce her to Kristen, my wife today. Now, for her privacy I won’t name my high school girlfriend so for the story we’ll call her Jane. Jane and Kristen and a large circle of churchy band kids all became friends, though only briefly. Kristen being newly single was introduced to some guys via this circle and Jane specifically introduced her to guy named Steven, possibly to date, though I don’t think they ever did. That said, Kristen and Steven formed a friendship and Kristen soon after parted ways with Jane and the churchy band kids because they were all just A. a little too Jesus-y and B. more than immature to say the least. Now I was peripherally aware of a lot of this via Facebook, doing the creepy ex thing. I didn’t know Kristen, but I had seen her in some photos and she had a killer Audrey Hepburn ribcage tattoo, still does obviously.

So, Kristen and Steven are friendly and attend some of the same bars and house parties and she’s out in the world dating and doing her thing. Kristen would eventually meet Steven’s newest girlfriend, Amy. Amy and Kristen became fast friends and were practically joined at the hip. Kristen and Amy were partying, dive bar hopping, nightclub dancing best friends. Meanwhile, just to take you back to my reality at the same time, I was grumpy binge drinking with Will somewhere in the East Atlanta Village. Now, here’s where it gets fun. Amy has a brother named Chad, who at that time was in a band, Chad worked at a little café/bar with a certain piano player, yes, you guessed it, the one I was working with that year. Now through this maze of people Kristen would eventually meet the same piano player and it would be an understatment to say she was into him. One night I’m in the studio with him and we’re sort of half working, half chatting and he starts telling me about this girl he’s kind of seeing and her Audrey Hepburn tattoo. It was one of those small world funny moments, because I knew who he was talking about from my Facebook stalking, and I knew she was hot, no naturally I was envious. Some time later, he would invite me and Will and Kristen and Amy to watch a band play at the previously mentioned Earl in the East Atlanta Village, I knew it well. This is where I would meet Kristen and where our relationship would ultimately begin. I could write another 6 dozen paragraphs on our early dating relationship and how it all went and maybe I will at some point, but the point of this very long-winded essay is about the silver linings of a bad situation. Now to call this love story and how I would eventually meet my wife that I would have two beautiful and amazing daughters with a silver lining to a high school breakup would be borderline insulting. But realize, at 21, now nearly 22, I was still miserable and alone and thought I would be forever. Then along comes Kristen. Now to recap, I split with Jane, became a miserable person while Kristen was divorcing her first husband from college that she really only married to piss off her parents. Kristen would eventually meet Jane, who would introduce her to Steven, who introduced her to Amy who introduced her to the piano player, who she was infatuated with for a brief moment, who introduced her to me. We’re separated by 6 years in terms of age, come from completely different backgrounds and other than this small cluster of people, had no one in common between us. In a very long-winded, round about way, I owe my heartbreaking high school girlfriend a thank you. I had to experience a terrible breakup, the kind where you don’t ever talk again, go through a shitty, drunken, depressing year and ultimately give up on having any semblance of a happy life to meet my wife, and everything changed after that. I didn’t go to college, I had a small circle of friends and most of them avoided the city. It took this wild culmination of events and people I’ve never met to bring Kristen and I together.

You might be saying that story’s not all that compelling, things like that happen all the time, and you’re not entirely wrong, but that said, I still think there’s something special about it.

The year 2020 has shown me a lot about myself. Once quarantine started I quickly learned how unimportant clothes were. Take a moment to catch your breath. I still love tailoring and will absolutely wear dress clothes again, but when you’re staring down a pandemic, drape and tie space just become less of a concern and are quickly replaced with stocking up of frozen goods and day drinking. I’ve spent the majority of 2020 in Vans and golf polo’s, and I don’t hate it. In this time I’ve found a new passion for the game of golf, I’ve cooked new things, in the early days of lock down I got creative with my photography in ways that wouldn’t have if I hadn’t been home all day. I don’t think any of us knows when this nonsense will be over, 2020 might be entirely wrapped in Covid and it might even bleed into 2021, and by then, most of the world might’ve had it. I know that I don’t want it, and if I am to get it I hope to the god I don’t believe in that it’s mild.

When your 6 year old asks if you’re going to be alive when they’re a grown up in the middle of a pandemic it stings, because the reality is I can’t promise her I’ll be alive tomorrow, let alone 20 years from now, so I lie. And when you lie like that to a child you lie big, I tell her I’ll always be alive, that way we snuff out all worry in her little 6-year-old mind, because those wheels are constantly turning. I was burdened with the reality of death at 4 years old, seeing my 19-year-old cousin dead in a coffin after a motorcycle accident. I will shield the reality of death from my kids as long as possible. Life’s stressful enough already, no reason to start the trauma early. I blame that funeral at 4 almost entirely on my hypochondria. I’m that guy, who feels a leg pain and assumes it’s a blood clot bound for my heart. A pain or weird feeling in my side must be cancer. Naturally the rise of Covid has not been kind to this sick part of my brain. As I write I feel funny, the way you feel when you sleep too long and your limbs feel numb, I’m also hoarse from over doing it with a vaporizer recently trying to relax with a little THC. So naturally the weird feelings and throat tickle are Covid in my mind. If you don’t have anxiety, count yourself lucky.

The thing I keep trying to remind myself of is that it won’t last forever. Time literally fixes everything. It took time to get over being broken up with at 20 and even more time for the stars to align and bring Kristen and I together. It will take time for Covid to sweep the world and end and time further still for the powers that be to develop a safe vaccine. It will take time for society to feel comfortable going out mask-less again; it will take time for supermarkets to feel safe enough to take down all the plexi-glass at the checkout. It will all take time and in the end, if we’re lucky, we’ll see the silver linings that came out of it. New interests, new jobs, new relationships, etc. If I hadn’t found my passion for menswear I would not have eventually reignited my passion for photography. If the quarantine hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t have done all the self-portraits I did that ultimately inspired a Hunter S. Thompson theme that lead to my newfound love and interest in golf. The new interest in golf led to new ways to spend time and bond with my in laws and my own family. It’s also the first form of physical activity I’ve done in nearly a decade; all good things.

The only thing I’ve never really been able to draw a connect-the-dots of positively around is my job. I’ve done the same thing for 13 years and I’ve never liked it. It has afforded me the opportunity to do things at times, and the schedule has always been flexible around my personally needs, but I’ve never really liked being here. As I write I’m sitting in an office that I’d rather not be in. If I were single and not a parent I would've left long ago. But the stability of this place and the paycheck keep me here. I’d much rather be taking photos for brands, submitting to publications etc. but there’s way to much financial risk in that. The time for that kind of seat-of-your-pants living is in your 20’s, when you’re a renter with no kids. If I could take photos, write, travel, golf, eat and drink for a living you‘d never hear a complaint. Kristen and I often talk about what we’d do with millions to distract ourselves from what we don’t have, and the stress of the day. She works in a very unforgiving retail environment, more unforgiving now with a pandemic on the rise again in our state. I work in print, for my father. A dying industry with a parent as my superior, what could possibly go wrong? We get along 9 days out of 10, but day 10 is always noteworthy. We bend over backwards for our customers, though I don’ think they care. We once had a 20 years long client say they were thinking about switching to another printer, just to shake things up. This after 20 years of late shifts, miracle timing and total and complete ass kissing. That day I learned, that quality service only matters to a select few, the rest just want to see the bill.

So that’s 2020 so far, new interests popping up, old interests taking a back seat, looking to the past to see the greatness that came out of dark times, hoping the future is as bright as today is, compared to the depths of despair I found myself in at 20. Still thinking there is no god but hopeful for an afterlife of some kind, wondering if there is a god why he’s letting old people who literally hang his picture in their dining rooms suffocate from a wet market virus that our leadership dubbed a hoax in the beginning…I will not go on a political tangent... By the time 2020 wraps I hope to be alive and well, I hope that everyone I know is alive and well too. I hope that Kristen finally lands herself a job in UX, she graduated from her UX academy in March and so naturally the job market has been slim pickings. Beyond that, I hope to find myself doing something other than what I do now at some point. When I dwell for too long about how many hours of my life I’ve spent folding booklets for people who are ultimately going to throw them away I feel myself reaching for the bottle. Bottom line, things aren’t great now, but I hope they get better. The funny thing about that is, according to Buddhists, it’s the act of wanting something, which causes suffering in the first place. So maybe the answer for the shit storm we’re all in today lie’s in the Buddhist teachings. I’m not about to proselytize Buddhism, but what I do know is the first truth as they call it is basically, that “suffering exists” and the second truth is that “desires and ignorance cause the suffering”. So it could be a major over simplification for our current state of affairs, but maybe if we stop wanting a better today and just accept today for what it is, we’ll all suffer a little less. Because whether we’re here for it or not, the sun will rise again and set again. The earth will turn and everything that is happening today will happen again tomorrow. Time fixes everything, and we can’t control it. So pray, meditate, work, golf or buy a motorcycle and head to the nearest New England port and join a boat crew, there’s no telling what kind of crazy we’re all going to wake up to from one day to the next, so to end on a cliché, make the most of today and try focus on the positive, maybe the stars will align and when it all shakes loose, you’ll meet your Kristen.

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purplesurveys · 5 years ago

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732

1. What is the reason you last got a new cell phone? The battery on my old 5S was getting frustratingly shitty and would die at 90%, and it would also take forever to boot up. It also reached a point where it was almost always hot to the touch. I always had to have a power bank with me and when that broke as well, it almost felt like I didn’t have a phone anymore because it would just be dead all the time.

2. Do you enjoy Math? I was always on extremes with it. Either I was making really excellent marks or I was failing badly, and I think it’s because performance in math depends on how well you understand and can apply the lessons. If you know the formulas it’s easy to pass the whole exam but if your memory is spotty, then that’s just a domino effect right there.

3. Are you more masculine or feminine? I’d say the lines are very blurred these days and I think it’s a very good thing, but I guess stereotypically I’m more feminine.

4. Has anyone ever told you that you’re their favourite? Sure, by best friends and close friends.

5. How many albums do you have by the band/artist you’re listening to? I don’t really pay close attention to the lo-fi scene and if their artists release albums at all, heh.

6. What are you doing tomorrow? Same old. Do a survey or two, maybe play the Switch, take a nap, have a coffee, maybe get a snack, practice Spanish.

7. Which name have you kissed the most people with? Have only kissed a Gabie.

8. Closest fast food place to your house? There’s a McDonald’s, Chowking, and Shakey’s right beside our village. If you’re willing to drive a little and take a u-turn there’s also a Burger King on the other side of the highway.

9. Does your city/town have a Taco Bell in it? No. I think only QC has Taco Bell, a shame.

10. Do you enjoy All You Can Eat buffets? Love them. Buffets make me so excited and happy.

11. Post a picture of yourself from about two years and three months ago: I was gonna say no to this but then I figured I used to post my photos all the time on my ancient Tumblr days, so whatever. This one was taken at my high school’s school fair and it’s the only photo I have of myself from January 2018. Blurred Gab out, for the curious.

12. Have you ever seen the band/artist you’re listening to live? I’ve never seen a lo-fi show, or know if those even exist.

13. Who was your best friend three years ago? The same ones I have three years later.

14. Do you enjoy hard drugs? Nope, not even interested in them.

15. Do you have any “e-buddies”? That means internet friends, right? I don’t have any < If this is what this means, I have Aliyah. Rafie and I don’t talk anymore but I still consider him a dear friend because of the time he gave me a free ticket to a WWE show when the roster came here in 2016.

16. Have you done anything productive today? It’s 1:19 AM, so no.

17. Do you enjoy sucking dick? I’ve never done that sksksksksksk. Don’t really have plans to.

18. Reason you last pulled an all-nighter? I just felt like doing it.

19. What design is on the last cup you used? It’s white but it has a black design of the wi-fi logo on it. If the beverage inside is hot the logo will turn bright blue to let you know it’s hot, but it gradually fades to black as it cools down.

20. Did you watch Garfield as a child? No.

21. Did you watch What-a-Mess? No, never heard of that one < Same. I only know Whataburger hahahahaha

22. Do you have a charm on your phone? No but I probs did on my old phones from childhood.

23. Last thing you bought over fifty dollars? Gabie’s Christmas gifts in total were over $50 (₱2500) but I don’t know if I’ve ever spent that amount on a single thing.

24. What colour is the last lighter you used? I don’t remember but it was either a neon green or pink.

25. Last thing you printed off a computer? A business article I needed to turn in for a journalism class.

26. Last thing you threw in the garbage? A sachet for 3-in-1 coffee.

27. Do you know anyone not related to you with your last name? Yeah I used to ride the bus with her. She’s like 6 years younger though so I never got to be friends with her.

28. How many band shirts do you have, and which ones? Just one, Paramore. I bought it with the emergency money my mom gave me for my first Paramore gig (like for food and drinks) so you can imagine how angry she was when I pissed it all away for a shirt.

29. What are you happiest about this year so far? I got to have a wild party with my friends literally a week before the lockdown. I’m glad I got to have such an experience with them, cause it’s something I never got to do throughout college.

30. Last black person you hugged? I’ve never hugged any black people, come to think of it.

31. Last cut/injury you received? I have a weird cut on my right ring finger that I have no clue from where it came. It’s not bothersome but it will sometimes sting if it’s hit with water.

32. Do you shave your leg all at once, or do you do it in halves? I don’t know what shaving legs in half is supposed to mean lmao but when I shave, I shave the whole leg?

33. Is life hard? Well it’s definitely not supposed to be easy.

34. Who does the song you’re listening to remind you of? These days lo-fi reminds me of taking surveys because... well, it’s what I listen to when I take surveys.

35. Last message you received? Kaye very randomly asked me just now if pro wrestling was truly staged and after I explained it to her I asked her why she was thinking of that at this hour, and the last message I got was her explanation.

36. Do you eat your vegetables? I looooove them.

37. Is Nutella amazing? It’s not groundbreaking on its own but I’d drop money on a Nutella-flavored snack, you know what I mean? I find it too sweet if I eat it by itself so I need other elements to balance it out.

38. Have you ever had anything pierced that isn’t anymore? No. My ear piercings are still open even after not hanging earrings from them anymore in a decade.

39. Would you consider yourself “tough”? In a sense that I had to grow up earlier than most kids due to the shitty stuff I saw in childhood and in a sense that I can handle most traumatic or triggering situations with ease, sure.

40. Headphones or earbuds? Earbuds.

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thaumaturtles · 6 years ago

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Epilogue Thoughts

So, I finished the epilogues at around 11 AM on 4/21 and spent the better part of today mulling over it internally. Overall, I think I liked ‘em. Don’t get me wrong, they were brutal and tragic and ripped my heart out, but this is my garbage and I’m allowed to enjoy it. I was planning on liveblogging the epilogues but constantly pausing to jot down my feelings detracted from the overall experience. This is probably gonna be pretty scattershot, since I have neither the ability nor the desire to order my thoughts properly. Now, without any further preamble, let’s get into it.

Jane

A lot of people said they didn’t like the treatment of Jane in the epilogues, and, fair enough, she was pretty awful and Crocker stans have every right to be pissed. But to anyone saying it came out of left field or didn’t make sense, I’d have to disagree (for the most part). Jane was brainwashed by the Condesce for the first 16 years of her life, and we see the effects of this when she goes Crockertier. She’d almost certainly have baked-in presumptions about how trolls were “meant to be” (ie super violent) even before she was consciously aware that trolls as a race existed. Jane was also always really in denial about having been brainwashed by the Condesce and I can definitely see adult Jane flat-out refusing to do any self-analysis and just assume there are no remaining effects of the brainwashing and she’s “totally cured” now or whatever. Jane’s also not super progressive? Like the conversation where she discovers Dirk has a crush on Jake and that Jake might even reciprocate was pretty uncomfortable to experience, and she starts a business on Earth C even though there’s no real need for corporations in a world with infinite resources. This shows that she’s still stuck in the belief that capitalism is inherently good/necessary for no reason other than “it’s what i grew up with.” All in all I could totally see Jane as someone who’d grow up to become xenophobic and have this colonizer mentality of “I have to regulate the Other because they’re not capable of functioning without me”

As for the non-consensual/rapey stuff... I’m actually not gonna touch that shit with a six-foot pole. The narrative is very explicit in the fact that Jane is an abusive partner and what she’s doing Is Bad, but like if she’s your favourite character you probably aren’t going to be all gung ho about seeing her do all the things that she did, which were admittedly very upsetting to read. I completely understand if you couldn’t read past those parts because they were pretty rough.

The Epilogues do get pretty unpleasant to read though :/

The Epilogues are highly antagonistic towards Homestuck’s readers. This is a fact. Whether this is a good or bad thing is up to interpretation, but it is at the very least not a new thing. Listen to Kate Mitchell of the Perfectly Generic Podcast and YouTuber OptimisticDuelist for more in-depth analysis than I could possibly provide on this, but one of Lord English’s greatest weapons is his ability to get people not to care about Homestuck, or even better, to revile it. That’s what the aspect of Rage represents: Plot Contrivance. As Karkat says,

THERE ARE OUTCOMES THAT ARE EVEN WORSE THAN THE COMPLETE ANNIHILATION OF EXISTENCE ITSELF. FORCES MORE DAMAGING TO THE INTEGRITY OF REALITY THAN THOSE CAPABLE OF TURNING IMAGINATION INTO PURE VOID. THEY ARE FORCES WHICH IF HANDLED RECKLESSLY WILL NULLIFY THE BASIC ABILITY OF INTELLIGENT BEINGS IN ALL REAL AND HYPOTHETICAL PLANES OF EXISTENCE TO GIVE A SHIT.

This is repeated, by Hussie himself no less, later on during his smug self-insert, found here. After Hussie dies and loses control of the narrative, LE is free to try his hardest to get you, the reader, not to give a shit. Rose, in the Epilogue’s Prologue, says that if people stop caring about Homestuck, reality as they know it will break apart, which is exactly in line with LE’s plans. So the fact that the Epilogues are very hostile towards the reader is basically par for the course. That said, I can see how it kinda sounds like I’m being all “oh it’s SUPPOSED to be shitty you wouldn’t underSTAND,” but that’s. literally what’s happening. and there’s evidence for it in the text.

Of course, in the past, when the narrative would pull things like this it would be under the guise of, say, Homosuck, which is very obviously meant to be bad and is presented in a fun, satirical way. The Epilogues, on the other hand, are downright upsetting. They’re presented in a much grittier light, which can obfuscate to what degree it’s Actually A Joke, if it even is a joke in any capacity. The fact that they’re tragic, though, should not be seen as evidence that they’re bad.

Some stuff I Liked

Both routes had some really top-notch interactions in them. A lot of folks seem to be overlooking how genuinely good the writing was. I said the phrase, “they’ve still got it” ALOUD to myself once or twice because the dialogue really did have that good ole Homestuck Charm. The Dave/Karkat/Jade interactions early on in Candy (before everything went to shit) were pretty great, as was basically everything that came out of English’s mouth. I dunno who the Antiquities Consultant was, but they did an excellent job at mirroring Jake’s usual speech pattern. I find that a lot of people, when writing Jake, just kinda throw in as many random old-timey words as possible and as a result it feels kinda disjointed, but the writing team for the epilogues managed to make him feel very... would light be a good way to put it? Sort of airheaded I guess. Just very goofy idk

We got to see Rosemary and they were married and raised a kid and it was the best! Rose was really well-written, as was Kanaya; I really loved seeing those personalities balance each other out again. It was nice to see them be good parents in the Candy-verse. The Vriska they raised was such a fucking scamp too! It was nice to see a Vriska who had a positive home environment but still had that same spunk

Also, Dave. Just, all of Dave. He was really solidly written throughout the whole thing. I fucking love his interest in the economy holy shit. I got to hear Dave Strider say the phrase “neoliberal austerity measures.” That’s the best. “Economically Aware Anti-capitalist Dave” is rivaled only by “Karkat (True Leftism)”. I’ve seen a few complaints that Dave’s interest in the economy was also OOC, but for one thing he’s an adult and can cultivate new interests if he likes, and for another Dave is a pretty clever kid, and very numerically-minded. (Is that a term? I mean he’s good at maths and such). Don’t forget, not only did he manage to accumulate all the wealth on LOCAH in the span of three days by taking over their stock markets, but he also used the hash map modus in his day to day life, showing that he was able to do calculations in his head as quick as breathing. As shown here, the hash map modus is pretty complex and requires you to come up with a word that has the same value as the thing you wanna use in order to use it. That’s not easy to do on a dime and yet he uses it in his rooftop battles with Bro. All of this is to say, he’d certainly learn to be very good at economics if he wasn’t already. It just suits him.

Oh and I also love that Dave still makes SBaHJ and Karkat has a bunch of sockpuppet accounts he uses to defend Dave’s honour. it’s very cute.

Karkat also had some lines in the epilogues damn. I hadn’t realized how starved I was of VantasRage until I read a few of his rants. Also we finally got to see Badass Rebel Leader Karkat and he’s just as great as we all knew he’d be

The davekat kiss in Meat was great too. It was very gratifying to see after all the narrative cockblocking that went down in Candy.

John realizing in the Candy universe that he isn’t responsible for everything and that they’re all still just people with their own autonomy was good. Much as I have problems with the Candy universe on a whole I liked this specifically.

Also, roxygen! I love roxy/callie as much as the next guy but John and Roxy were very cute near the end of the comic and I liked seeing them grow up and have a kid. John names his son after the guy from Night Court because he’s a massive dweeb. Love it.

We got some great Terezi writing as well. The johnrezi at the end of Meat was nicely written and made me feel a whole host of emotions despite me not even having shipped them that hard beforehand.

OH MY GOD THE OBAMA SHIT. I almost forgot to put this in because I was focused on other stuff but my word the whole Obama Situation was beautiful I loved every second of it. It was so over-the-top in the best way and it simultaneously carried airs of being So Serious And Important To The Narrative and being just the dumbest load of crap. I loved it so much

Also, I was very happy with Roxy and Callie coming out. Roxy talking about how he’d already come out as dating an alien with a green skull for a head and how it felt like maybe he was being “selfish” by also wanting to come out as trans was a great illustration of something that already-out LGB people often feel when realizing they don’t identify with their assigned gender. Additionally, Calliope coming to terms with the fact that they don’t have to identify as female just to further differentiate themselves from Caliborn was great. It really helped to show how far they’d come from just being Caliborn’s foil into being their own person. However, this leads into:

Some stuff I didn’t like

Speaking of Roxy and Callie’s transition, Dirk also came out. As a transphobe. Which was disappointing, to say the least. He made a point of misgendering Roxy as often as possible and was pretty dismissive towards NB people when he learned about Calliope’s identity. (You could make an argument that Dirk is being thoughtless by misgendering Roxy and not intentionally malicious, but I don’t see Dirk as the kind of guy who slips up very often. He’s very careful with language.) I always headcanoned Dirk as trans, as I’m sure most people did, so having him just up and become transphobic was kind of the worst. I intend to talk about Epilogue!Dirk a lot more in a later post but yeah. Not a fan.

EDIT: I’ve thought about the Dirk thing a little more and he does eventually start calling Roxy by the correct pronouns, albeit in kind of a “see see look at how openminded im being youre such a manly dudely stud bro” way. Dirk’s initial discomfort with Roxy and Callie’s identity more comes from his own egotistical belief that he should have already known about it than it does from genuine animosity. That aside, he does still say “She probably would have loved being a “they” when she was a teen,” which sorta rubs me the wrong way. I might just be being oversensitive though.

Also, in the Meat universe, Rose and Kanaya split up! I’m very upset about that. Ultimate Power be damned, I want happy, married lesbians! It sucks that we either have Rosemary OR Davekat but not both

On the topic of davekat, Jade really got done dirty by both Epilogues, huh? She was used as a narrative device in one and was an intrusive presence in the lives of Dave and Karkat in the other. TBH I was never a fan of davekatjade for a lot of reasons but I would have preferred they be in a happy poly relationship than what actually happened in Candy.

Actually, the only two polyamorous relationships in the Epilogues both turned out awfully. I doubt any of the writing staff had anything against poly people; I’m sure it was just a coincidence but either way it’s pretty unfortunate. I have a bit to say about this but this is running too long as is.

Gamzee

Fucking Gamzee.

Unanswered Questions

Will there be any further updates? I sure hope there will, because the ending was not very satisfying and creates more questions than it answers. I can sort of see where it might be going but they left way too much up in the air and it feels very much like it’s unfinished. V has referred to it as “the whole thing” on twitter, so it might be finished for good, but i really hope it isn’t

Why did Rose say the session they’re creating will be the most important session of SBURB ever played? Why couldn’t they play it on Earth C? Surely Earth C’s inhabitants would be more used to seeing alien life forms and would know the basics of SBURB, thus making it more likely for them to survive it. Why go to the trouble of seeding a whole new planet? I’m curious.

Can a character be said to be “Out Of Character” if the character’s own creator wrote those actions? What if they passed on the actual writing to someone else but still had to verify it themselves? What does OOC even mean? Does it mean “this doesn’t fit my headcanon” or “there is no evidence for this” or “the author wouldn’t write them like this”? If it’s the last one, can an author merely saying “this interpretation is correct” absolve ANY action from being deemed OOC? I like that I’m being made to think about this kind of thing now

To what degree is each universe truly “Canon”? I’m aware that Candy lost its canon-ness when John decided not to fight LE, but the two universes are intrinsically linked: we see characters from one universe travel to another and it’s implied that Terezi has spoken to both Johns. How canon is Meat, even? Are either of them even still bound by the need to be part of the Alpha Timeline anymore, since Lord English has been created? What does anything mean?

Final Musings

I understand completely if you don’t like the epilogues. Maybe you think they’re too dark. Maybe you just don’t agree with portrayals of the characters. Maybe you hate that they gave jade a fucking tail when she never had one in the main comic. There certainly were bits of it that I wasn’t a fan of, but there are also parts I really wanna go draw fanart of right now. I like the Epilogues, but if I write fanfic or make dumb joke posts about Earth C, I’m probably gonna ignore large swaths of it (such as, I’ll probably keep both John and Dirk alive, and make them kiss a lot)

There has been a great deal of vitriol directed specifically at Hussie about the epilogues despite the fact that other people worked on them. It’s difficult to take these criticisms in good faith when so many people are blaming solely Hussie. I’m aware that he had total control over actual plot elements and wrote a bit of dialogue, but the bulk of the actual text was written by V. Another thing I’ve noticed is that people’s attitudes towards the epilogues are very much like the general attitude towards Act 7 when it first came out. I’ll admit, I left the Homestuck fandom in like 2014 and didn’t return until mid-2017, but people’s Jimmies were definitely still Rustled even then. There was a general atmosphere of “I hate Hussie, and you should too! The ending was bad and no one asked for it!” but as time went on, and people started analyzing the ending and making meta posts about it, everyone sort of grew acclimated to the ending. Suddenly, the general consensus was that Homestuck was Good Again Finally and the ending was Amazing and The Fandom Loved It. I feel like maybe that sort of thing’s gonna happen again with the Epilogues. I really hope that, as it continues to update (if it does), everyone will sort of chill out about it

#homestuck #homestuck analysis #epilogues #epilogue spoilers #tw rape mention #i really felt roxy's hesitance to come out because i also feel like this sometimes? i'm not too sure what i really id as #and any degree of introspection makes me feel pretty guilty #like im already bi why do i need to be genderweird too #that was a lil too personal so i didnt put it in the main post #also im definitely gonna make more posts about this im not even close to being done talking #long post

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fanfics4all · 6 years ago

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More Personal Stuff! (Do you guys like when I do these?)

1. What is your nickname? Sam and Sammy (by my family)

2. How old are you? 21

3. What is your birth month? April

4. What is your zodiac sign? Aries

5. What is your favorite color? Red and Black (Harley Quinn colors)

6. What’s your lucky number? 13 (it’s a family lucky number)

7. Do you have any pets? Not anymore :(

8. Where are you from? New York

9. How tall are you? 5’2

10. What shoe size are you? Depends on the shoe, 8 to 8 ½ normally

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 6

12. Are you random? Oh yeah

13. Last person you texted? My best friend

14. Are you psychic in any way? Yes, I get feelings about people and can tell if they’re bad or not. I also predicted my boyfriend was going to break up with me two weeks before he did, he was in another state visiting family and he was talking over text slightly differently and then when he came back he broke up with me over text when we were hanging out that same day and talking about what we were gonna do for our year and a half

15. Last TV show watched? Adventure Time lol

6. Favorite movie? I don’t know, I love a lot of movies. Nightmare Before Christmas, The Little Mermaid, The Little Mermaid 2, Me Before You

17. Favourite show from your childhood? Pokemon, Totally Spies, Hello Kitty, Danny Phantom, Chowder, Sailor Moon, Sabrina The Teenage Witch, H2O, Wings, Home Improvement,Doug, Rugrats, Powerpuff Girls, Jimmy Neutron, Hey Arnold, My Life As A Teenage Robot, Foster’s Home For Imaginary Friends, Full House, Samurai Jack, Dexter’s Laboratory, Ed Edd n Eddy Johnny Bravo, Krypto the Superdog Scooby Doo and Codename Kids Next Door

18. Do you want children? Yes, more than anything!

19. Do you want a church wedding? No

20. What is your religion? My family is Catholic, but I’m not. I say out of that.

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Yes, admitted because I almost Died as a baby twice

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Kind of

23. How is life? Ehhh kinda sucks

24. Baths or showers? I like baths to relax but I don’t have one so showers

25. What color socks are you wearing? None

26. Have you ever been famous? Not at all!

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? No, I’m shy AF

28. What type of music do you like? All really, but I don’t like most pop songs TBH

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? I’ve been in my bra and underwear with my friend but no not nude

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 3 normally

31. What position do you usually sleep in? On my side but I move around a lot

32. How big is your house? We rent so it’s an alright size

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? I don’t! It kind of makes me sick

34. Have you ever left the country? No :(

35. Have you ever tried archery? Nah, but I really wanted to

36. Do you like anyone? My friends, Sometimes my family

37. Favorite swear word? Cunt

38. When do you fall asleep? Depends

39. Do you have any scars? Oh man a lot, I use to self harm

40. Sexual orientation? Bi AF

41. Are you a good liar? Yeah but I don’t do it much

42. What languages would you like to learn? French, Russian, and Polish

43. Top 10 songs? The ones I’ve been listening to a lot right now are: 1) A Little More by MGK 2) This Is War by Thirty Seconds To Mars 3) When You Were Young by The Killers 4) Almost Love by Sabrina Carpenter 5) Killer In The Mirror By Set It Off 6) Horns By Bryce Fox 7) Marijuana Breath by Adam Jensen 8) One Love By Marianas Trench 9) Kiss It Better by He Is We 10) Put The Gun Down by Andy Black

44. Do you like your country? Eh not really if I’m being honest, it’s pretty fucked

45. Do you have friends from the web? Yes

46. What is your personality type? Mediator (INFP-T)

47. Hogwarts House? Slytherin!

48. Can you curl your tongue? Yep

49. Pick one fictional character you can relate to? Luna Lovegood

50. Left or right handed? Right

51. Are you scared of spiders? YES 100%

52. Favorite food? Steak or Lamb

53. Favorite foreign food? Umm, Chinese/Japanese

54. Are you a clean or messy person? Both but more on the messy side

55. If you could switch your gender for a day, what would you do? Nothing, I guess see how it feels to be paid more?

56. What color underwear? Black (I’m wearing Supernatural underwear rn so there’s a pentagram on them lol)

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? Depends on what I’m getting ready for

58. Do you have much of an ego? LOL No, I don’t like myself

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Suck but bite sometimes

60. Do you talk to yourself? Way too often

61. Do you sing to yourself? Oh yeah, I suck but people tell me otherwise

62. Are you a good singer? ^^ Nope

63. Biggest Fears? Not being able to have kids

64. Are you a gossip? Not really

65. Are you a grammar nazi? No

66. Do you have long or short hair? I have a little past my shoulder length so medium?

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? If you give me enough time probably

68. Favorite school subject? Math and Art

69. Extrovert or Introvert? Introverted as fuck

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? No, I’m not a huge fan of the ocean unless I’m on a boat (I love swimming just not in the ocean, rips the dye out of my hair)

71. What makes you nervous? My anxiety, Trains, talking to people I don’t know really well, Failing

72. Are you scared of the dark? No

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Sometimes

74. Are you ticklish? Very

75. Have you ever started a rumor? I don’t think so

76. Have you ever been out of your home country? No

77. Have you ever drank underage? Like once, I don’t like alcohol that much. I only drink one type

78. Have you ever done drugs? Why? Yes weed because it helps me chill out and helps my depression for a little while, also helps me sleep sometimes

79. What do you fantasize about? Love

80. How many piercings do you have? None but I want some

81. Can you roll your R’s? Yes

82. How fast can you type? Pretty fast

83. How fast can you run? Not very, my asthma kicks in (I don’t smoke my week btw, I vape it because of my asthma and it gets you higher with less)

84. What color is your hair? Black on one side and very faded red on the other (I had Harley Quinn hair) I’m changing it to purple and blue soon

85. What color are your eyes? Hazel

86. What are you allergic to? A lot. Pollen, Dust, Cats, Dust Mites, anything with fur pretty much (I’m allergic to dogs but I’ve been around them a lot so I’m not as allergic to them anymore but I do get hives sometimes if I pet them) um there’s more but I honestly can’t remember right now. Luckily not allergic to any food!

87. Do you keep a journal? Yes, I only write in it when I’m super depressed

88. Are you depressed about anything? Like everything (I’ve had depression since I was 8)

89. Do you like your age? Not really, it makes me feel like I’m running out of time (Yes I know 21 is young)

90. What makes you angry? I have anger problems so it kind of takes very little to make me angry (Thanks dad! Hahaha)

91. Do you like your own name? Not my full name but I like Sam

92. Did you ever get a foreign object up your nose? Um no, but I accidently gave myself a nose bleed when I was little by accidently smashing a pencil up my nose (I was banging my head on the eraser side because I was so bored and I slipped and it went right up my nose! I was in like 4th grade lol)

93. Do you want a boy or a girl for a child? Both, more boys than girls I only want like 2 or 3 girls but I will love all my children no matter what! Not like you can choose anyway

94. What talents do you have? Art, writing, and I’ve been told I’m a good dancer

95. Sun or moon? Moon

96. How did you get your name? My mom wanted to name me something that could also have a boys nickname

97. Are you religious? Nope

98. Have you ever been to a therapist? I’ve been to 14, I stopped really talking to them because when I was a kid my therapist (Keep in mind I was like 6 or younger) threatened to take me out of my home because I told her my parents fight (This was before the abuse started) So I don’t like going to them (even though I need one)

99. Color of your bedspread? Black

100. Color of your room? It’s white (Unfortunately, I kind of want a dark green room or a dark red. I don’t know)

#get to know me

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femnet · 6 years ago

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Dear Me 15-Years Ago,

You’re 21 today! This is a day you have been waiting on for a very long time. It seems even longer because you’re the youngest out of all of your friends! Eighteen was considered adulthood, but 21 is that next level of adulthood! You’re almost finished with college, and about to be out in the real world. As you wake up today, very hungover by the way (don’t worry, you mostly learned that lesson, you’ll only get that drunk one more time in your life), I thought as your older, much wiser self, I would impart a little wisdom on you.

Let’s start with a couple of easy ones…

Be a better driver! This should be a given, but you’re terrible. You’re about to get into another wreck. What is this, like five? Luckily no one will ever get hurt by your terrible driving, but you will save thousands upon thousands of dollars if you would just pay more attention to the road. And this is before people will start texting and driving. Seriously, your only excuse is that you suck a driving. Take a class!

Listen to your parents. They are literally always right. Every. Single. Time. You’re rolling your eyes now, aren’t you? By the time you figure out that they’re always right, you’ll also learn that it’s either because they made your same mistakes and lived to tell the tale, or that they know you better than you know yourself. Your mom will actually know you’re pregnant before you figure it out. It’s freaky!

That guy that you think is so great right now… he’s not the one! In fact, there will be a few more “not the ones” before you do meet the one. Some of them will be total wastes of your time, but a few will teach you something about what you do want in the one. Don’t stop putting your heart on your sleeve. The one time you wanted to protect your friendship and not follow your heart, you ended up losing the friendship anyway because he got tired of waiting around for you.

Don’t get the store credit card for 20% off your purchase. It sounds like a great idea while you’re buying 10 outfits, but what the clerk isn’t telling you is that the interest rate is 29% or more. Are you going to pay it off the second you get home? Nope! The math doesn’t add up. The store just made an extra 9% on you.

Life isn’t black & white. It’s lived in the grey area, but that area isn’t really grey either. It’s full of color. The older you get the more you’ll realize that there are very few clear cut answers in this world. The values that you are passionate about right now won’t change, you’ll always be socially liberal, but you’ll realize that most issues aren’t as simple as you think they are right now. Learn to have real discussions with the other side and listen to their answers with empathy and understanding. The political climate will get really ugly, and understanding the grey area will be what saves a lot of relationships.

Take the Trip, Experience the Things, But Don’t Make the Rest of Your Life Contingent on a Checklist!

You’re planning a trip with your roommate to Europe right now, and it’s going to be amazing. Life long memories! You’ll go on a couple more with her, and do some other really cool stuff too like going skydiving. Here is the thing that most of your generation is going to get caught up with, and you’ll fall into the trap of for a little bit too: don’t make the rest of your life contingent upon checking off a full list first!

You and so many of your peers are going to have these lists that you want to complete before you get saddled down with a spouse and kids. You’re going to want to see all these places and do all these crazy things that you think you’ll never have another chance to do again and do a degree, you’re right! At 36 you will never again share a hostel in Paris with 8 strangers! But you won’t want to either!

What you and your peers don’t see right now is the whole being tied down thing isn’t so bad! Being tied down means you’ll have people at home when you get there at night after a really bad day. Being tied down means you’ll have someone to wake up to every day, and someone to rejoice in life’s everyday victories with. Being tied down means that you have someone who knows you, understands you, and to run ideas off of. You and your future husband are going to miss this point for a while, and end up breaking up and getting back together so many times your best friends are going to be sick of hearing about him! You both will be too scared to be tied down because you haven’t experienced all the things you want to experience yet, and you’ll cause yourself an ocean’s worth of unnecessary tears, a bunch of really bad first dates, and one “relationship” you’ll really regret.

If you’d let go of what you haven’t experienced yet and just follow your heart, the two of you could avoid wasting a lot of time! Your friends could too. You’ll see a lot of them continue to add to their list of things to do before kids until they get to the point where they struggle to actually have them. Then you’ll watch them hurt and wonder why they thought it was so important to wait for so long.

No, you haven’t been back to Europe since getting married and having kids, but you will one day. When you do go back, it will be with a different perspective on the world, and a different budget too! Do NOT travel again where you have to share bathrooms and hot water with strangers! For real! And you know what? If you don’t make it back, that’s ok too. That just means it wasn’t meant to be. The world is too big to see and experience everything in one single lifetime.

Be Comfortable in Your Own Skin

Right now, you think you’re fat. You’ve always thought you were fat. The only thing you see are all the girls who are skinnier than you. You were made fun of all through school for the size of your butt, your not flat stomach, your small boobs, and your weight. The complex has and will continue to stay with you. You were told by your school that the taunting was boys being boys, and you were expected to just accept that. You were expected to accept that your worth was tied up in boys being boys. The good news is, you won’t let your boys just be boys because of it.

Here’s the thing, the size you are right now, at 21, is the skinniest you’ll ever be! Once you get out into the real world and start working at a job that requires you to sit at a desk all day, your metabolism will start to tank, and it will tank more with each pregnancy. Carbs will not be your friend. Thank your genetics for that. You do need to make sure to take care of yourself and stay healthy (you’ll actually meet your husband in a gym, not the bar you’re walking into tonight), but don’t be so worried about the size of your clothes. That new “best friend” you’ll make very soon who talks constantly about her weight and really gets into your head, she has issues! Get her out of your head! She’s going to ditch you after you have kids anyway. One day you’re going to wish you are as fat as you think you are now.

For as skinny as you are now (yes, you’re skinny), in 15 years your kids will still make fun of you because the fashion choices you are making are absolutely ridiculous! Snakeskin, pleather pants are NEVER a good idea. Neither is purple glitter eyeshadow. Your kids, the people who matter most to you in the world, will never think twice about your size.

And here is the thing about your size, the right guy isn’t going to care if you are a size 0 or 14. He’s going to care about the inside. The guy you meet in the bar who does care about your size isn’t worth keeping around. You won’t remember his name one day when your kid finds your old pictures and asks who he is. You can ask your future husband on any given day what size you are and he won’t have a clue. He loves the way you look at any size! The one thing he doesn’t love, however, is bangs. When you cut bangs and cut your hair to shoulder length, then you’re going to have issues. He hates bangs and short hair. You’ll find a picture many years after you did it and realize what he was talking about too! Just. Don’t. With. The. Bangs!

Money is Important… Don’t Buy so Many Shoes!

You love to shop right now! Over the next few years, that love is going to grow, and you’re going to quite literally have a closet full of shoes and drawers upon drawers of makeup! Unfortunately, what you don’t see coming right now is a huge recession and that closet full of shoes is going to mean nothing when you have bills and a baby to pay for! Instead, you should have saved and invested some of that money! I know, super boring, right? But hear me out…

If you had invested some of the money you spent on things that will both go out of style and not fit you anyway in a few years, invested into a small company like Amazon, that money will be there when you’re stressed about how to both buy diapers and keep the lights on. You can still have some nice shoes, but 7 pairs of red heels that you’ve mostly only worn once is a bit over the top!

Start paying attention to money trends and what is gaining momentum early on, then chase it! Just think, if you’d started your blog 15 years ago, when bloggers weren’t even really a thing, where would you be?

On the subject of money, always pay more than the minimum on your credit cards. Go ahead and calculate how much you’ll pay over five years in interest and fees if you don’t. Go ahead… I’ll wait… Ugly, huh? There is your next great trip, by the way! Put more than the minimum down on your house. You’ll have more leverage later when you need to refinance. Listen to your dad when he says to have three months saved up! You’ll be laid off during the recession and not given much of a severance package. You’ll need that money and will be extremely stressed out because of it. Then you’ll be fired again one day and be glad you have some savings while you work things out (you’ll wish you had more, you’ll always wish you had more).

Don’t Put Work First. Check Your Priorities!

There is going to be a big push with companies for the “team” environment. There will be a bunch of studies coming out about how employees work harder, and perform better when they feel they are part of a team or work family. The thing with that is, there are very few companies who really adhere to that philosophy: those will almost always be small startups with very little money. These larger companies you’re working for that are touting this mantra have one goal, and that’s to make you work harder for less money. The goal is for you to put the company before yourself. When you believe in your team or the company so much that it is your main priority, you’re much less likely to call foul when something is not right. You’re much less likely to cause trouble. That “open door policy” all of these companies say they have is B.S. Don’t use it and talk to your boss about anything. It will always bite you later.

The other thing that will happen is that you’ll put work ahead of people. You’ll miss weddings of dear friends, baby showers, visits with family because you believe that if you just put the company first that it will pay off. You’ll believe that they will see your dedication and reward you for it one day. The thing about it is, that the companies will never put the employees first and they will turn on you in a second to advance a different objective. It will happen to you and it will happen to many, many people you know. When you’re looked over for an opportunity for a promotion, or let go from the job you put first, you’ll be full of so much sadness but in hindsight, you’ll realize you weren’t sad because of the missed work opportunity. You’ll realize you’re sad because you missed life opportunities. You’ll hurt or even lose important relationships because your priorities were not in check.

Embrace Your Mistakes

I know, at 21 you think you have all of life’s answers, and you mostly do have your act together compared to a lot of people your age, but one day you are going to laugh at yourself and your “maturity.” If there is one thing you need to do more of, it’s not taking yourself so seriously, and laugh at life’s blunders! There are very few mistakes you can make that cannot be fixed. You’ll take a lot of your mistakes to a whole new level by over-thinking how you fix them!

Instead, choose to pause, learn something, then just laugh at yourself! Every mistake you make is an opportunity to learn something new about yourself, and will ultimately point you in the direction you’re supposed to go. You can choose to go in that direction with joy and laughter or kicking and screaming but either way, you’re going to go the way you’re meant to go.

You’ll make one huge “mistake” in a few short years and not realize that antibiotics hurt the effectiveness of birth control pills (so doesn’t not taking the pills at the same time every day). You’re going to be totally shocked when that mistake catches up to you and you realize your life is going to go in a totally different direction than planned. You’ll even spend the first couple years of motherhood & marriage mourning a lost youth, watching others continue to check off those lists they made, and not enjoying that time with your baby. That “mistake” actually gave you the kick in the rear you needed to grow up, and he’s a pretty awesome kid.

By the time you have your second kid, you’ll have learned to laugh at life and you’ll be surprised at the difference it makes for your family. Baby number 2 won’t be as fussy because mommy isn’t so stressed! Failure isn’t always a bad thing if you just learn to look at it differently.

Always Trust Your Gut

You know that gut feeling you get? You should listen to that more. Those feelings aren’t just thoughts in the back of your head. They’re really God telling you the direction you’re supposed to go, or protecting you from something. Trust it and listen to it more. When you start to feel things like maybe that boss isn’t a good person, go ahead and jump ship before the job turns bad. Those times you feel like it’s time to leave the party then just get up and go. When you get that weird feeling that you just need to call someone or go to them, do it. Don’t think about it and second guess it. That person needs you in that moment. Even those people you haven’t talked to or seen in a while. If they’re suddenly on your mind, that’s God telling you they need to hear from you.

By listening to your gut feeling, you’re trusting and believing that God has a plan and showing you have the faith to follow it. In your moments of the deepest trials, whether its money trouble or marriage issues, as long as you continue to trust God’s plan, everything will turn out ok. Most of the time you won’t have a clue as to how it will be ok, but at that moment all you’re supposed to do is trust that it will. Don’t lose hours upon hours of sleep worrying because none of your worries will lead to any kind of clarity that will help. It’s when you let go of the control, and have faith that you will find your clarity in the hardest of situations.

You’re Capable of More Than You Give Yourself Credit For!

You’re full of self-doubt. You question constantly whether you can accomplish your goals. The thing you don’t know right now is that you have some grit about you, and when you need to dig your heels in, you do it with everything you have to follow through on your commitments and promises. You achieve some pretty amazing things this way. Remember that when you start doubting yourself and get tempted to settle for another job you hate right after you decide to finally go after your passion for writing. Keep at it, and you’ll figure it out! You won’t let yourself fail!

Above all else, enjoy this time that you’re in, and love those who really matter with everything you have!

Sincerely, 36-Year Old Me

#real life #by junell #january 2019

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skeletonscribbles · 7 years ago

Text

Wishes - Ch. 2

she promises, she delivers. this is the Mike Hanlon chapter which means it is Blessed. I think I got everyone on this taglist but if I missed someone lmk I’m a little outta my head atm

Rating: M, eventually. G right now, except for cursing. Pairings: Reddie, Stan/Bill/Mike, Benverly WC: like 3k? idk math Summary:

you know what tumblr there was gonna be a summary here but since you keep fucking up my apostrophes ive decided you dont deserve it

Other: Martin Short is actually a blessing dont listen to Mike

Chapter 1 / Read on Ao3

Tag List: @roobarrtrashmouth @jem-carstairs-is-perfection @tozier-club @aizeninlefox @stanheartsbill @latinxrichie @softeds @pretzelstoday @melancholypurple @wheezygreens @ayyyymichele @loser-marsh

MIKE HANLON - KIDCOT STATION AT THE CANADA PAVILION, EPCOT CENTER THURSDAY, OCTOBER 8TH 6:55 P.M.

There were two hours and five minutes until the Epcot fireworks show began, signalling the imminent close of the park, which meant there were three hours and five minutes until Mike Hanlon could finally clock out.

Not that he was counting, of course.

Sighing, he shifted in his seat at the Canada KidCot station. He’d been scheduled for an afternoon 8 hour shift, 11 to 7, but they’d asked for someone to extend because they were short-staffed and he apparently couldn’t help himself. He agreed to work until close, which was an extra three hours. Normally, he wouldn’t be phased by that, but he was bone tired today. He’d been up late with his Imagineer roommate, poring over plans and ideas for Star Wars.

He should have known better. No amount of arguing for Lando Calrissian or Finn was going to make Bob Iger, the CEO of the company, less racist, which meant that there was little to no hope for representation in the new Star Wars World. His roommate Ben had tried to warn him, but he’d pushed the issue anyway, feeling restless and irritated that he worked for a company that didn’t value people like him.

Now, he was paying the price. He stifled a yawn as a mother with two children hustled them by his table - he would kill for someone to actually talk to, but he wasn’t the type to hustle people over to him Gaston-style. (The Magic Kingdom Gaston was notorious for cat-calling girls, which Mike supposed was in character...but it was deeply unsettling to watch.)

Sighing, Mike picked up a marker and began to color one of the Duffy* drawings at his station. As bored as he was, he wouldn’t want to be anywhere else. Disney, for all its flaws, was more of a home for him than Canada had ever been, and KidCot was his favorite rotation. He loved telling stories and teaching kids about his home country - he loved teaching.

He loved Canada, too...it was his home, after all, but it had never been freeing for him like Florida had. Home came with expectations - from his peers, from his teachers, and most of all, from his parents.

Mike loved his parents, but he was definitely not the son they needed. He had no interest in hanging around and taking over the farm. His dreams were bigger than that.

His parents, for their part, had totally supported his move...at their own expense. He felt guilty about that sometimes, but he had a feeling that all three of them knew, in their hearts, that it was the right choice for Mike to go.

He’d come to Disney World because he hadn’t known where else to go. Disney had a work program for international students that promised to give him opportunities to connect with people around the world, and that promise had really appealed to 21 year-old Mike Hanlon. It had been the right choice, definitely - his first three months at Star Tours had been like a dream. He got to talk Star Wars all day, he got to choose Rebel Spies**, the ride wasn’t that complicated, and he hadn’t had to slog all the way around the perimeter of Hollywood Studios to get to his attraction like the Tower of Terror bellhops did. (There had to be a more efficient way of moving around backstage, and someday, Mike imagined they’d invent it, but for the time being, it was long walks and bikes over at Studios.) All in all, it had been a perfect fit for him.

Then, he had three months doing outdoor vending (ODV) at Studios, and that was...less exciting, to say the least. ODV was hot, sweaty work, and the guests that wanted popcorn or pretzels or light-up Mickey ears were usually tired, hungry, and cranky (and sometimes racist). Still, that was manageable, especially when he got into the groove of Fantasmic shifts. In fact, he still picked up Fantasmic shifts from time to time, for nostalgia’s sake.

After that, his program was over, but he didn’t feel ready to do something else, so he went to Casting to see about applying for a more regular job (and what he would have to do to renew his US work visa). The only full-time position they had to offer him was in the Canada Pavilion, so that’s where he was for the time being. It wasn’t ideal (he was putting in to transfer back to attractions as soon as he was able), but he’d gotten that temporary worker visa for it, so he had no choice but to make it work. So far, the only thing that had been completely ruined for him was Martin Short movies, because after watching the Martin Short ‘O Canada’ film a thousand and twelve times per work shift, he’d sooner die than watch Three Amigos ever again in his life. (He considered himself extremely lucky to have found the roommate that he did via the CM Housing Facebook page, but if Ben put on Father of the Bride one more time, Mike was going to kick him out immediately and permanently.)

Mike finished coloring his Duffy and looked around. There were no kids anywhere in sight. It was around dinner time, and the Canada pavilion wasn’t a highly popular family destination to begin with, so Mike was going to be alone for a long while, people-watching as young hipster couples walked by with Disney shopping bags full of maple syrup and plaid clothes.

He was so zoned out, he almost missed the two attractive men that were walking out of a shop and towards him.

Now, Mike had spent quite a bit of time coming to terms with his sexual identity. His father extremely traditional - which was not to say close-minded, but there was just no opportunity for exploration on the farm. It wouldn’t have made sense.

Disney was on the extreme opposite end of that spectrum. A huge percentage of male Cast Members were gay, and for the first time, Mike had the opportunity to consider his own feelings.

As it turned out, he was pretty equally interested in men and women. He’d had a couple of short relationships during his time in the States with people of both genders, and they’d all been pretty nice...just, not lasting, and none of the people he had dated had been as compelling as the two men - a redhead and a boy with light brown curls, he could see now - that were walking his way.

It was a bit disconcerting, actually. Mike usually wasn’t attracted to white people (they were so entitled and pasty), but there was something almost cosmic about these two. It felt like the universe calling.

Before they got close enough to see him, Light Brown Curls stopped and turned to the redhead, holding up a Disney bag and smirking. The redhead blushed and grabbed for the bag, but Curls swiftly moved it behind his back. They began to engage in a game of keep-away. Mike was mesmerized.

“You trying to stamp their passports?” Mike jumped at the sound of a leering female voice, and almost fell out of his chair. “If you know what I mean?”

“Ma’am, I---” he began, turning to look at the perpetrator and stopping short when he saw her pretty green eyes. “Huh?”

She laughed prettily. “The ginger making an idiot of himself is named Bill. He works Guest Relations over at MK, and he’s been super hung up on these two guys he saw in passing in the Boardwalk slash Epcot area recently. Classic pining gay.”

Mike looked back over at the two men. The ginger (Bill) had retrieved his bag, and was waving it in front of Curls’ face. Curls seemed unimpressed.

“Is the skinny brunette boy one of the guys Bill was pining over?” Mike guessed, watching the bounce of the haughty man’s curls.

“Yep,” said the girl, joining Mike in looking over. “His name’s Stan, apparently. He’s a front desk coordinator over at Yacht, because of course he is. Everyone at Yacht is so fucking put together. Pardon my French.”

“It’s a relief to hear cursing every once in a while,” Mike admitted. “It can’t be princesses and rainbows all the time.”

The girl nodded appreciatively. “I like your style. I’m Beverly. I work in costuming over at MK.”

“Oh, word.” Mike stuck out a hand for her to shake. She took it, and he was immediately impressed by the subtle strength in her grip. “I’m Mike. You wanna learn about Canada?”

“At some point,” Beverly said, smiling amusedly. “Right now, though, I’m trying to play matchmaker.”

Mike squinted at her, confused. “Aren’t your friends already together, though? I thought you were just third-wheeling.”

“Fourth-wheeling, if all goes to plan.” Beverly waggled her eyebrows. “Weren’t you wondering who else Bill has a crush on around here? I did say that he was pining over two guys.”

Mike’s stomach lurched. Pretty boys weren’t generally in the business of looking Mike Hanlon’s way...unless he was reading the whole thing wrong?

“No, but there’s already...they’re already….” Mike protested weakly, hoping his assumptions were correct. “I couldn’t intrude.”

Beverly shrugged her freckled shoulders, looking down nonchalantly. “Two’s an arbitrary number, bud. You can do whatever you want.”

The boys’ eyes were on Mike, now - they must have noticed him talking to their friend. The redhead was smiling, and Mike suddenly felt hot.

Being with more than one person at a time had never occurred to Mike, but now that the idea had been planted, it was taking root in a really fast and embarrassing way.

“Bill, Stan,” Beverly called, beaming, “meet my new friend Mike. He’s from Canada.”

Feeling a little stupid, Mike gestured to his nametag. “Saskatchewan.”

“Mike from Saskatchewan.” Stan stepped forward, confident and smooth. “Very, very nice to meet you.”

Bill smiled knowingly. “Told you, didn’t I?”

“You were right,” Stan said, eyes never leaving Mike.

Mike looked between the two, hoping for an explanation, and Bill promptly provided him with one. “I saw you here the other day, talking to kids. You’ve got incredible charisma.”

Mike was painfully cognizant of the blood rushing to his cheeks. “Thanks. Uh. Bev says you guys are CMs, too?”

“Yep!” Bill tapped his chest where his name tag would be if he were in costume. “I’m in the Magic Kingdom, and Stan’s your neighbor over at the Yacht Club.”

“It’s a shame you don’t have any guests,” said Stan, examining the Duffy coloring pages at Mike’s table. “I don’t know why people aren’t flocking to you, honestly. You seem like the kind of person that I’d actually enjoy learning about Canada from.”

“Do you wanna hear some facts?” Mike asked, and then immediately cringed. Why couldn’t he say something compelling for once?

Fortunately, Bill and Stan seemed to find it endearing rather than weird. Stan opened his mouth to speak again…

...and was immediately interrupted by a freckly, frizzy-haired tornado of a human being, who swept in and slung his absurdly long arms over Bill and Stan’s shoulders. Mike blinked rapidly, trying to take stock of the situation, but before he could get his bearings, the new person adjusted his glasses and started speaking in a thick Russian accent.

“Eet eez veddy hahd, Comrade, for me to trahhck you eef you do not answer calls, da?” He was talking to Stan, but Bill seemed to recognize him, too, if his eye roll was any indication.

“Why the fuck did you need to find me at all?” Stan groaned. It was obvious that he was fond of this weird, lanky guy, but he was playing at irritation. “I turned off my phone for a reason, you nerd. Take a hint.”

“Eh, I was bored. Also kinda sad, thanks to Big Bill here.” The guy abruptly stopped with the accent, turned to Bill, and tutted loudly. “Can you believe that Bill stood in the way of true love today? Also, how the hell do you know Bill, Stanny?”

“We’ve literally just met,” Stan said, “and preventing you from feeling love is only serving to make him more attractive to me, so by all means, Bill, continue.”

“It’s not up to me,” Bill said sadly, “and tragically, Eddie does think he’s hot.”

The third guy inhaled sharply. “Hold on, say that last bit again.”

“Mike, this is Richie.” Bill ignored Richie’s request and turned to Mike. “He’s bad, sorry.”

Richie’s eyes flicked up to Mike for the first time. Mike sat awkwardly as Richie took him in, smiled, and said, “A fucking pleasure. Has anyone ever told you that red’s your color?”

“Just you,” Mike replied honestly.

“Glad I could be your first.” Richie winked, and Mike felt charmed in spite of himself.

“Okay, so how do we all know each other again?” Bev asked, frowning. “I know Rich because he’s a giant pain in my ass when he comes through costuming, I know Bill because I know Bill, and now I know Stan and Mike through Bill…”

“Richie’s my roommate,” Stan said flatly. “Unfortunately.”

Bill whipped around to stare accusingly at Richie. “You’ve been keeping that from me?”

“Hey, I didn’t know you were into stuck-up assholes,” Richie shrugged. “Besides, that’s justice in action for not giving Cute Character Attendant Eddie my number.”

“He was working,” Bill said defensively.

“He was working,” Richie parroted mockingly. “That’s never stopped me from hitting on him before, and it won’t stop me again.”

“I wouldn't,” Bill warned. “Eddie’s no joke.”

“Didn’t say he was,” Richie agreed, bouncing excitedly. “Did he actually say I was hot, though, because--”

“Where do you work, Richie?” Mike asked, trying to save Bill from the conversation.

Richie’s smile was huge and sweet. “The World Famous Jungle Cruise, of course! Why, you itchin’ to ride my bote?” His expression turned suggestive. “Because I’d let you. It’d be worth the long, painful death Stan and Bill would put me through--”

“Beep beep, Richie,” Bill said loudly, elbowing Richie hard in the gut. Richie doubled over on to the damp wood of the pavilion floor.

Stan quirked an eyebrow, obviously impressed. “Beep beep, huh? I’ll have to remember that for next time.” He brushed Bill’s arm with his hand as he said it, and the corner of Bill’s mouth twitched up. Mike was enamoured by the interaction, and wanted more than anything to be on the other side of the table, included in whatever it was they had going on…

...fuck, he was so fucking fucked.

“Richie, if you’re not here for any real reason, then you should come with me,” said Beverly, looking like she was already regretting her offer. “I was gonna ditch these three in a couple of minutes, anyway. Let ‘em have a Food and Wine date, or something.”

“You’re sweet, Bevvy.” Richie gave her a sappy look as he peeled himself off of the floor. “Askin’ me out. Adorable. Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to pass, because Bill, I’m not going anywhere until you promise to get me Cute Eddie’s number.”

“You’re really dedicated to that, huh?” Bill asked, tone halfway between ‘impressed’ and ‘alarmed’. “What the hell happened between you two to make you so frigging obsessed, Rich? Normally you’re all jokes and no follow-through.”

Richie tried to be nonchalant, but Mike could see a bit of red creeping up his neck under the collar of his shitty Toy Story t-shirt. He was silent for a moment, and then when he spoke, his voice was soft. “He’s just...I don’t….he’s all the stuff I like, you know?”

Mike looked at Bill, whose forehead was scrunched up in obvious concern at Richie’s words, and then at Stan, who had his hands delicately on his hips and was trying and failing to not seem affected, and understood that he, Mike Hanlon, knew exactly what Richie was talking about.

“Let’s talk more about this later,” Bill finally suggested after a long moment. “Okay?”

Richie nodded quietly. Something had happened in the last few minutes...it was like someone had toggled the Richie off-switch. Mike hoped it wasn’t something he had said. “Roger that, Billiam.”

“Hey,” Mike said, feeling suddenly bold in the wake of Richie’s vulnerability. “Listen. I can’t hang with you all now, because I won’t be off of work until 22:00. If you guys are free and still awake at that point, though, y’all can come to my place after I’m done. I can write down an address. I bet my roommate won’t mind.”

Bill’s responding smile could have lit up the whole park. “I’d love that.”

“Me too,” Stan said immediately, looking between Bill and Mike with a soft expression (well, soft for Stan the consummate professional, anyway).

“You want us there, too?” Richie asked cautiously.

Mike nodded, and was relieved to note that Stan and Bill were nodding too. “Dude, I could really use some friends. I’m fresh out of those.”

With that, the tension was broken. Richie let out a great howling laugh, and moved over to clap Mike on the back. “Oh, Mikey! You just hit the friend jackpot, my man. Just ask Stanley Uris! Richie Tozier’s a top notch amigo.”

Stan shrugged listlessly. “I mean, if you like people that try to give you sloppy handies every time they’re intoxicated.”

Richie’s expression twisted up, and for a split second, Mike thought he was gonna lose it, but then instead of yelling, Richie groaned. “They’re not sloppy, Stanley, Jesus Christ.”

“Jesus who?” Stan asked, reaching out to yank on Richie’s sleeve, which presumably was meant to signal that he was kidding. “Anyways, yes, the three of us will be there, Mike. Bev?”

“That depends,” she said slyly. “Is your roomie hot, Mikey?”

Mike couldn’t help but laugh at that. Ben was an objectively handsome man, but he was less sexy than he was warm and comforting. “He’s a beautiful, wonderful guy, Beverly.”

“Then of course,” she agreed, laughing her little laugh again. “Write your address on the back of one of these Duffys, yeah?”

Mike obliged her, and when he was done, Stan took the paper and folded it up neatly, ultimately placing it in the breast pocket of his shirt.

“All right,” Richie announced. “Parting is such sweet sorrow, Micycle, but we must go purchase overpriced cocktails now. Adieu.”

“Bye!” Bev called, and almost immediately, the two of them were off, merrily making their way to the main World Showcase walkway.

Stan and Bill lingered for another moment. They were both looking at Mike with expressions that made Mike feel like his stomach was going to explode with butterflies. He didn’t know what it was about these two that made him feel all of 17 again, but he wasn’t complaining. He hadn’t been this excited about romance since middle school.

“We’ll see you later, okay?” Stan said assuringly. He slid his hand into Bill’s after he spoke, and Mike watched their fingers entwine. Absurdly, he wasn’t jealous at all...any interaction at all between the three of them felt right and good.

“Have a nice couple of hours,” Mike said, trying to convey the giddiness he was feeling through his words. “Enjoy the fireworks!”

“It’ll be nicer when we’re all together,” Bill said meaningfully, and then he and Stan were disappearing into the throng, too.

It looked like it was going to be another late night for Mike Hanlon...but somehow, he didn’t think he was going to regret this one tomorrow.

One hour and three minutes until park close, two hours and three minutes until clock-out.

Notes:

we don't deserve Mike Hanlon

*Duffy is Mickey's teddy bear, apparently. He's very popular in Japan. You used to be able to go to a Duffy meet and greet in Epcot, which is fucking wild.

**There's a moment in the Star Tours ride where one guest on that particular simulator is identified as a "Rebel Spy". The cast members get to pick that guest. I have never been that guest, and I will be bitter about that until my dying day.

#reddie #reddie fanfic #mike hanlon/stanley uris/bill denbrough #mike/stan/bill #mike hanlon #bill denbrough #stanley uris #benverly #ben hanscom #beverly marsh #losers club #it 2017 #stephen king's it #disney au #mike hanlon is a good man

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helena-studyblr · 6 years ago

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a post no one asked for!

hello so i reblogged a questionnaire a lil bit ago and i’m going to answer them now because...why not

1. how old are you?

im 18!

2. are you in high school or college(university)?

college

3. what year or grade are you in high school or (university)?

im a freshman in college

4. what is your school’s grading system look like? do you like it? what problems do you have with it, if any?

so my university has a standard letter grade system for most classes and pass/fail for some courses that don’t really need a grade. i do like it because it’s what i’m used to, however, a lot of times having a letter grade system can be more stressful because it makes you feel like anything but some kind of A is mediocre and not good enough, when in reality, a 75% or above is better than average.

5. if you are in high school do you plan on going to university or college? if you are in college do you plan on finishing and if you do, do you plan on continuing on to other graduate or professional schools?

i plan on going to veterinary school after i finish my undergraduate degree! if i end up changing my major to my second choice(music education is my second choice), then of course I won’t be going to vet school.

6. if you are high school what do you plan to study in college, if you plan to go. if not, what do you plan on doing after high school? if you are in college what is your major? do you plan on changing it?

i am currently studying biochemistry and molecular biology and i have a minor in music! i dont plan on changing it at this point, but if i do, i’d change it to music education.

7. why are you picking or why did you pick what you are currently studying?

i want to go to vet school, and biochemistry has almost all the requirements for vet school admissions. also, i find it interesting

8. do you go/plan to go to community college, technical college, or a four-year institution? how did you make your decision, or how do you plan to?

i am at a 4 year university, and i went here because it fits what i want to do

9. what factors did you consider when picking a college, or what factors do you plan on considering?

the college I chose is in my hometown, which is probably one of the deciding factors(i really wanted to be close to home). the campus is very pretty and small as well, and i really wanted to go to a small college. i could have potentially gone to The Ohio State University because i’m about 20 minutes away, but the camous is so big and i know i would have hated it. the school also has a good music program, soi can continue playing even though it isn’t my major

10. what is your favorite pencil?

i love my muji mechanical pencil and also the papermate clearpoint!

11. what are your top three favorite pens?

pilot juice, muji gel pens, and sharpie pens

12. do you prefer wide-ruled paper, college-ruled, dot-grid, or graph paper?

college ruled is my favorite for class notes, graph paper for revised/nice notes/math work, and blank for planning generally

13. do you use different types of paper for different courses or classes?

i use college ruled for almost everything except math homework(i use graph)

14. do you use a backpack/bag for school or college and what kind is it? why did you choose it? price, quality, function, design?

i use a backpack, i have no idea what brand it is, but its the perfect size for everything i need to take to classes and its also really pretty(it has a black background with flowers on it)

15. what is your favorite outfit to go to class in and why?

i generally wear leggings and a sweatshirt/sweater just because they’re comfy and also look cute! if its warm enough, i wear flip flops but if not, i wear my vans or converse.

16. what is something you always have to have in your backpack or bag?

usually my laptop and pencil case

17. what is your least favorite subject and why?

math!!!!!!! will always hate. guarunteed.

18. have you ever gone to tutoring, if so, how has it helped your academic endeavors?

i have not

19. have you ever seeked academic counseling, if so has it helped you?

i haven’t

20. has your mental health ever suffered during high school or college, and what did you do to cope?

holy shit yes. i suffer from depression and anxiety(depression for almost a year and anxiety for 4 years). i could make a whole post about this but in general, i make sure i give myself time to relax. it can be so so hard to take care of yourself when you suffer with things like this, so even if you can barely get out of bed, try to make time to do things that make you happy. for me, it’s drawing, netflix, and video games.

21. do you like to listen to music when studying? if so, what genre, if you have a playlist share it!

i do listen to music! i just listen to music i like, which is rock/pop punk/alt rock/etc. (here’s one of my playlists!: https://open.spotify.com/user/helenakitten14/playlist/4R6ZGIlz8K5UDEk80cVfV5?si=cXK0z3HTRUKCQSKx9F8tNA )

22. do you prefer to study at a library or at home at your desk?

depends what i’m working on and how much i have to do. if i feel like i have to be totally focused, i go to the library, but if i have some time to take breaks and get distracted, i just stay in my room. I also hate going to the library on my own, so sometimes i stay in my room anyway if no one can come with.

23. what are your top three items you keep on your desk?

my lamp, my laptop, and whatever drink i’m drinking while working( i always have a drink so i avoid snacking lol)

24. do you feel as if you are more productive during the day or in the evenings?

evenings for sure

25. if you exercise, do you feel as if it affects your productivity and if so how?

i do marching band which is usually my exercise, but i don’t work out. working out just exhausts me and i don’t have energy to begin with(ye ye depression)

26. do you participate in any extracurriculars and if so how do you manage your time?

marching band and wind ensemble! i’m also joing KKPsi, which is an honorary fraternity for music service! i am not great at time management, however, i plan out everything to hold myself accountable

27. do you use a bullet journal, a planner, or to-do lists? do you use a combination of all three?

i use a combo of all three! i’ve been bullet journalling a lot recently, but i also use a planner during busy weeks when i dont have time to make a spread and i make to do lists for weekends

28. do you have a note-taking style?

nothing specific

29. do you have a color-coding system?

i like to make every different topic/spread a different color. also, when i make notes, i like to highlight vocab words.

30. what do you believe is one of the most overrated studyblr trends?

100 days of productivity. its impossible to be completely productive for 100 days straight. shit happens, and i understand the purpose of the 100 days challenge, but i think it also takes a toll on you mentally.

31. what are your career goals, how do you plan to reach them?

i want to be a veterinarian or someone that works with animals somehow. i hope to go to vet school and then have my own practice or join another practice.

32. do you use a laptop? if so which model? how does it perform, would you reccomend it? if not, what model would you like?

i use a macbook air! it is nice because it is easy to transport, but occasionally the functionality can be questionable(storage space is always my issue). i do reccommend it, though. if i could get a new laptop, i’d probably get a macbook pro.

33. do you use a tablet? if so which model? how does it perform, would you reccomend it? if not, what model are you interested in?

i don’t, but i think having an iPad would be nice!

34. if you post pictures to tumblr, do you use a camera or your phone, if so, what is the model?

i use my iPhone 6s

35. 0.5, 0.7, or 0.9 pencil lead?

usually .5 or .7

36. 0.5, 0.7, 0.9, or 1.0 pens?

37. how many hours a day do you spend studying? are your hours consistent daily or do they differ depending on assignments and exams?

i tend to study for a majority of the day most days, but it always differs. i have no set timetable

38. how many courses do you take? what are they?

so i am in 8 courses right now. Biology, Gen Chem, Bio Lab, Gen Chem Lab, Calculus I, The History of rock n roll, Wind Ensemble, and Marching band.

39. how long until you graduate? in credit hours, semesters, or years?

i still have 3.5 years left of college, which is 7 semesters

40. how did you find the studyblr community?

honestly i dont remember, it was so long ago

41. how did the studyblr community impact you?

i was in a big funk my sophomore year of high school. i had no motivation, i hated learning, i hated everything tbh. but them i found this community and it inspired me and showed me that studying can be fun and pretty while also being a learning experience!

42. do you go to school in the day or night?

day!

43. what is something you are too afraid to be involved in at school or college and why?

in high school, i was very afraid to get involved with a lot of things, such as theatre and some other clubs just because of anxiety.

44. do you type or write your notes?

i write them mostly, but my biology professor talks really fast so i usually type notes for his class

45. what do you do on your breaks from studying?

netflix, eat, play video games, probably other stuff i’m forgetting

46. how do you study for math exams?

honestly i just look through lecture notes and hope for the best. occasionally i do practice problems but not often

47. do you rewrite your notes at home after class, or do you just use the ones you have already? why?

i rewrite them because it helps me memorize things

48. what are your least favorite courses and why?

math of any kind! i also hate biology right now just because my professor sucks

49. are you in a relationship while in school? if so, why? if not, why?

i recently got out of a relationship, but im open to being in a relationship with someone

50. if you are in a relationship, how do you manage that along with your studies?

it was very hard to manage it honestly, but i did what i could to make time, even if it was only just having a meal together.

51. if you aren’t in a relationship, do you plan on entering one while still in school? explain.

if i find the right person, yea! being in relationsips is great, especially because you have a companion to help you when you’re struggling

52. do you worry about GPA, if so why, if not why?

oh my god yes i do. i have to have a certain GPA to keep my scholarship money and to stay in the honors program, plus i just want to do well.

53. did you or do you plan to take the SAT or ACT, how did you feel about the exams? did you study for them? have you taken it more than once?

i did take both the SAT and ACT. i did well on each, but the SAT was a lot harder for me. I got a 1220(i think) on the SAT and a 31 on the ACT. i took the ACT twice

54. did you or do you plan to take the GRE, LSAT, PCAT, MCAT, DAT (or any other grad exam)? how did it go? how are you or how did you study for it? have you taken it more than once?

i’m going to take the MCAT

55. do you or did you take AP classes is high school? how do you feel about how they prepared you for college? did your school require you to take the exam?

yes i did take AP classes! i took 9 total, and they overall did help me learn how to manage time better as well as how to study. we weren’t required to take the exams, but i always did

56. do you or did you do the IB program in high school? can you explain it more for those who are unfamiliar with it?

i did not, however the IB program is basically an intensive high school honors program that is very writing intensive. its like AP on steroids

57. do your or did you take dual-enrollment classes? how did you feel about how they prepared you for college?

i didnt but i wish i did!

58. how many colleges or universities did you apply to or not? and why?

i applied to 5 colleges. i already knew where i wanted to go, but i wanted to be safe just in case i didnt get in, so i applied to the 5 i was most interested in. I also wanted to see if any other schools would give me a lot more financial aid.

59. how did you make friends in college or high school?

through band! in both situations

60. has your friend group stayed the same throughout your time in school?

yes actually! i’m still very close to all my high school friends and a few of them go to my college as well. of course i’ve met new people but i. also still have the same friends

61. how does your friend group influence your goals?

we all have our own goals, we just encourage each other and act as an outlet for stress

62. what is your favorite thing to learn about in your free time?

music and current events

63. what is your favorite study snack?

i like to eat carrots/pretzels with hummus or oreos

64. what is one thing that can completely make you stop studying?

being depressed or tired

65. are there days during the week that you keep completely free from studying?

yes. wednesdays are my hell days class-wise, so i refrain from doing work on those days after my classes are over

66. what do you do when you have to hustle? where do you go?

i dont know what this means

67. are your parents or family supportive of your goals? if so how does this affect you?

they’re very supportive!

68. do you like to read? and do you ever have any free time to do so?

i really love reading but i never have time

69. do you wear a watch? why or why not? what kind?

nope, they annoy me

70. do you like to drink coffee or tea when working? decaf? what do you add to it? why do you like to drink coffee or tea?

coffee with full caffeine! i always add creamer, and i drink it because it wakes me up

71. how do you organize your notes after your finish writing them?

i have notebooks for every class and binders as well

72. what do you do with your notes after the year or semester is over?

i either recycle them if they won’t be necessary anymore or i keep them in my closet

73. what are your favorite studyblrs?

studyign, emmestudies, and a lot more that i can’t think of

74. what are your favorite studygrams?

same as above except add on focusign and revisign!

75. what is the biggest impact a teacher or a professor has had on you?

my band director was very impactful on my life just because he was my teacher for 5 years, so we had a good relationship

76. what is the biggest impact that a class has had on you?

my film and lit class had a massive impact on me. it made me think in very different ways

77. who is your inspiration and who do you look up to academic wise and career wise?

my dad inspires me a lot because he worked so hard to find a career he loved and kept going until he got there. he’s also endlessly supportive of me

thats it! this took me so long hahaha anyway. thanks for reading!

#student #studying #studyblr #questions #study questions #q and a #study notes #my post #mine

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richiefuckfacetozier · 7 years ago

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Chapter 9: Lonesome Day

Story: It’s Not My Fault

Title - Lonesome Day by Bruce Springteen

Also on Archive of Our Own

For other chapters - | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 |

Eddie was sitting at his desk trying to finish his homework. It was the first day of winter break and he desperately wanted to get everything done, so he would not have to worry about it later. He was taking almost all AP courses and his teachers were merciless with their assignments. His friends tried to get him to hang out that night, but he turned them down. A couple hours into studying, he heard the phone distantly downstairs and wondered who might be calling.

Probably one of my aunts. Eddie thought vaguely. He stared at the Calculus problem in front of him and cursed because he could not find his notes on how to solve it. He would have to call Richie or Stanley later for help.

“Eddie bear!” His mother called.

“Yeah, Ma?!” Eddie yelled back still looking at his notes.

“Tozier is on the phone!” She shouted back.

“Ok! I will be there in a minute.” He put his pencil down and got up stretching.

“You shouldn’t keep people waiting, even if they are a Tozier.” He could hear her say. Eddie smiled to himself. As much as his mother hated to admit it, she was a little entertained by Richie. He probably chatted her up in that charismatic way he does before she finally called Eddie down. She did not like Richie per se but thought he was goofy.

Eddie grabbed a sweater from his closet because he knew the kitchen would be freezing. He put on socks and took a blanket to sling around his shoulders. He bounded down the stairs and sat at the kitchen table picking up the phone.

“Hey Richie,” He said trying to keep his excitement down. Richie’s loud voice came through the receiver, “Hey Candy Cane! Keeping me wanting and waiting as usual. You are the biggest tease.” Eddie rolled his eyes but his stomach did backflips at hearing Richie’s voice.

“It is cold in my kitchen, so I had to put on some fucking layers, you idiot.” He could not keep the smile out of his voice even if he tried.

Eddie knew Richie had a smirk plastered on his face as he said, “Is that so. What are you wearing, Eds? Something sexy I hope.”

“Don’t call me, Eds.” He grumbled lamely. “I bet you are wearing a sweater that drowns you and fuzzy socks. My favorite look for you. It is so cute.”

Richie started making kissy noises that Eddie could only imagine made him look like a doofus.

“You don’t know my life and I am not cu - ” Eddie stopped himself from saying ‘cute’ in case his mother could hear him.

“You are a terrible liar.” Richie sing-songed.

“Alright, I have math to get back too. Did you call for a reason?” Eddie asked impatiently. He started playing with the cord of the phone. He wished his mother would get a wireless phone that he could take upstairs. It would allow him to speak with Richie properly.

“Are you serious?! You are doing homework.” Richie whined. “You are such a loser!”

“So are you.” Eddie accused.

“Touché baby,” Richie rhythmed laughing. Eddie listened to his laugh with a warmth that spread all over. Richie always spent so much time trying to make everyone else laugh, but Eddie loved when he let go. It was the most beautiful sound in the world.

“How’s your day been so far?” Eddie asked not really wanting to get back to work when he could talk to Richie.

“Eh, fine. Lame without you around.” Richie responded. Eddie could tell he was a little distracted, which was never unusual with him.

“Are you hanging out with everyone tonight? I am going to pass until I finish my work.”

“No, I’m not,” Richie said with a weird seriousness.

Eddie frowned, “Why not?”

“I don’t feel like it and you won’t be there so what’s the point?”

Eddie could immediately sense something was off. Richie never ditched their friends unless he was dealing with a family issue.

“Rich...what’s up?” Eddie asked patiently.

Richie paused then let out a sigh, “Mom got a fucking DUI.”

Eddie’s hand went to his mouth in surprise, “Are you shitting me?”

“Unfortunately, I’m not. Her license has been suspended and guess who is stuck parent-sitting her?”

Eddie’s rage began to bubble to the surface, “I’m so sorry, Richie. That’s a horrible start to the Winter Break. Where the fuck is your dad?”

“Wentworthless and I got into a huge fucking argument about giving up my winter break for this bullshit. Mostly me shouting and him ignoring. Mom joined in to scream that he is the reason I am gay, although she didn’t use such a kind word as gay and it really had nothing to do with the fight.” Richie’s voice sounded so defeated. If Eddie had to guess, he had probably stayed up all night thinking about his family problems.

Eddie’s heart hurt, “I wish I could help, you deserve so much better.”

“It’s ok. I’ve accepted that the best I’m going to get is being with you.” Richie said with utter sincerity. “Which is so great that it outweighs my family crap. Actually, I probably have it so good with you that God decided I can’t have it too amazing, so she gave me a perfect best friend/boyfriend but shitty family issues.”

“Did you just call God a she?” Eddie heard the breathiness in his voice. It felt so bizarre that Richie’s complete lack of a filter could take his breath away.

“God is obviously a woman. Only a woman could make someone as drop dead gorgeous as you.”

Eddie put the back of his hand against his face which was on fire. He was starting to feel desperate to be near Richie at that moment. To kiss him and tell him that he was the gorgeous one, who deserved the world. Eddie was nothing compared to Richie. Eddie had nothing without Richie. These emotions were becoming overwhelming.

“No more compliments, they are making me lightheaded.” Eddie blurted out.

“Wait! One more, one more.” Richie demanded. “God has to be a woman because only a woman has the delicate hands to sculpt an ass as good as yours.”

“And with that, the moment is gone and I’m hanging up.” Eddie groaned in annoyance.

“There is one bit of good news...I guess,” Richie said stopping Eddie from ending the call. “Wentworthless is giving me mom’s car.”

“Are you serious?!” Eddie questioned trying to stay respectful but could not help his thrill. Now that Richie had a car, they could hang out more easily and have adventures outside of town. This was incredible news.

“Yeah! He says it is all mine. I have to run all our errands but I can drive us to school!”

“And we can go on actual dates!” Eddie chimed in then looked at the door, nervous that his mother may have heard.

“Wow! So much better than school. What was I thinking?! This is going to be fucking amazing.” Richie’s voice brightened significantly. “I can totally teach you to drive too!”

“I can drive!” Eddie countered.

“You drove one time which made you and your mom get into such a big fight that you barely went home for a week. That does not count.” Richie reasoned.

“True...I hate that all of you have your licenses and I only have a permit.” “Well, you just turned 16 last month and the rest of us have been 16 all year. Except for Stan who is a year older. Maybe that’s why he is such a grump all the time. Grumpy old man.”

Eddie clicked his tongue disapprovingly, “Don’t say that to him. Being a year older and in our grade is a sore spot for him.”

“I’ll give him a call after this and tell him then.”

“Oh my god, you are so immature...” Eddie complained.

“And you are the baby of the group.”

“I’m not a baby!”

“Just my baby.”

“Gross. Goodbye.”

“Thanks for listening, Eddie. I love you.” Richie said with all the causality in the world. It made Eddie’s heart beat faster.

“That’s what I’m here for.” Eddie lowered his voice to barely a whisper. “I love you too. Bye.” They hung up and he stared at the phone. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly then picked up the receiver again.

He dialed a number and listened to the ring. A familiar perpetually sad voice answered. “Hello, you’ve reached the Denbroughs.”

“Hello Mr. Denbrough, this is Eddie Kaspbrak. May I speak to Bill?” Eddie heard a distant ‘Bill!’ and after a couple minutes, his friend answered.

“Hello?”

“Hi Big Bill, I have a huge favor to ask.” Eddie decided to get right to the point.

“Sure Eddie, what do you n-need?”

“Um...it’s kind of embarrassing.”

“Alright…”

“And I don’t want the other losers to know. Especially Richie.”

Bill sounded immediately anxious. “Eddie...you aren’t going to ask me ab-b-bout the gay b-birds and bees are you?”

“WHAT! NO NO OF COURSE NOT.” Eddie felt himself blushing horribly. “Oh my god, I would never.”

“Thank god.” He said with relief.

“I want to learn to drive.” Eddie stated firmly.

“Oh!”

“I am finally 16, all of you have your fucking licenses but I don’t and it’s really frustrating.”

“Your mom doesn’t have time to teach you?” Bill questioned cautiously.

“My mom doesn’t want me to get a driver’s license.” Eddie made his voice higher and more nasally to mimic his mother, “Eddie bear, 40,000 people die by automobile accidents each year. I can drive you anywhere you need to go.”

Bill laughed in that light way he does, “That’s rough. I will, of course, teach you!”

Bill came to regret teaching Eddie almost immediately. He could keep his stutter under control most of the time, perhaps a word or two that did not come out right. However, when he got stressed out, words were almost impossible to get out.

“Eddie, turn left here.” Bill said as calmly as he could. Eddie was gripping the steering wheel for dear life, eyes scanning the road crazy.

“But there are cars coming! I can’t turn left while they are coming!” Eddie said fearfully.

“Eddie! Be calm! It will be fine just -”

“Bill! I can’t! I’m going to hit someone.”

“No you’re n-n-not just wait until they –”

Eddie slammed on the accelerator and flew through the intersection turning the wheel harshly. Every car braked and honked at him. Bill and Eddie barely noticed because they were screaming. Bill gripped the dashboard desperately and Eddie closed his eyes as the van made a hard left.

“EYES OP-OP-OP EYES EYES!” Bill managed to barely get out. After making the dramatic turn, Eddie pulled over.

“M-maybe I shouldn’t be t-t-teaching you.” Bill said clutching his chest.

The next day, Ben tried his luck. Ben was the nicest one in the friend group and people never yelled at him. So when he asked Eddie to try parallel parking he did not expect to be exploded at.

“You have to tell me how!” Eddie shouted.

Ben winced but explained easily, “Eddie I did. Pull up next to the car in front of us, then a sharp turn into the spot behind then wait until you see the far side of the other car and - ”

“None of that makes any sense! Why can’t you explain it better?!” Eddie was hyperventilating as he tried to go forward and back up into the spot.

His face was pale and he could not stop shaking. Ben went to touch his shoulder and Eddie hissed at him, “Do not fucking touch me. JUST TELL ME WHAT TO DO.”

Ben sank into the passenger seat and when he spoke it was barely a whisper, “You have to pull forward and…”

“WHAT? Speak up, Ben. I can’t fucking hear you.”

Ben ended up curling in on himself and Eddie had to take them back to Bill’s apologizing profusely the whole time. * Mike and Eddie almost had an easy time.

Mike had a calming presence and explained everything clearly to Eddie. They were approaching a busier part of town and Eddie was driving at a glacial pace.

“You can speed up a little Eddie.” Mike instructed.

“No, I’m too nervous to go any faster.” Eddie whined. He kept his eyes glued to the road trying to stay in his lane.

Mike chuckled lightly, “You are going a little too slow and can actually get a ticket for going below the speed limit.”

Eddie looked at him in fear, “I CAN GET A TICKET FOR GOING TOO SLOW?!”

Eddie pressed on the accelerator and started zooming down the street. Their backs hit the seats at the force of how fast they were going.

“No wait! Slow down! Eddie!” Mike was quickly losing his composure.

They were approaching a four-way intersection. The light turned yellow and there was no way they were going to make it.

“BRAKE! BRAKE!”

Instead of breaking, Eddie floored it and he blew through a red light. All the cars were honking and one almost hit them but swerved just in time.

“Pull over! You are done!” Mike shouted. “I did not plan to die today, Edward!”

“Fucking hell,” Eddie cursed in rage.

Stanley outright refused to help.

"But Stanley, please?!" Eddie asked desperately. "You probably know how to teach the best!"

"No Eddie, I know you. If I try to teach you, you are going throw something at me." Stanley said seriously.

"When have I ever..."

Stanley interrupted him, "Two days ago when I tried to explain that math problem to you. You got mad and threw a pencil at me. Who knows what would get thrown at me if we were in a car."

Eddie looked at him with a miserable expression. Stanley sighed deeply, "What about Richie? He's usually the only person that can teach you anything."

"Trapped at his house and I don't want him to know!"

"Try Bev."

Beverly attempted a harsher tactic of yelling back at Eddie whenever he raised his voice. She would cut him off every time he sassed her until they eventually started full on shouting over each other.

“You are all HORRIBLE teachers,” Eddie screamed. “None of you know how to properly instruct me!”

“NO!” Beverly responded screeching so loud it hurt both their ears, “You are a HORRIBLE FUCKING STUDENT!”

“NO I'M NOT!”

“YES YOU ARE!”

“NO I'M NOT!”

“YES YOU ARE!”

“NO I'M…”

“WATCH OUT FOR THAT KID!”

Eddie braked and the seat belts dug into their chests painfully. Beverly did not even bother taking over the car after that. She opened her door and stormed away. Eddie pulled over to the side thinking about how much he hated himself at that moment.

Bill later came and picked up his car. Eddie sat in the passenger seat seething. He did not speak, just stayed still trying to keep angry tears from falling. He was being a nightmare, he knew that. He really did want to learn to drive, it was just hard when he kept panicking or getting mad.

When Bill dropped him off at home he finally broke the silence. “So Eds...is everything ok with you and Richie?”

“Yes, of course.” Eddie looked over confused.

“I am j-just wondering if you had a fight and that’s why y-y-you are so on edge.” Bill raised his hands up to ward off possible punches.

“Put your hands down Bill, I am not going to hit you.” Eddie rolled his eyes. “I guess it is a little because I may not see Richie until we are back at school. It is stupid, but I miss him.”

“You talk on the phone every day.” Bill laughed.

“Sure! But it isn’t the same as seeing his stupid face.” Eddie mumbled.

Bill shoved Eddie lightly, “I miss you yelling at him instead of us.”

“Yeah, my panicking is preventing me from learning to drive.” Eddie opened the door to get out.

Bill stopped him to say, “We’ll figure it out. Tomorrow’s another day.”

“Ok.” Eddie closed the door and went into his house.

His mother was not home, so he went into the kitchen and dialed Richie’s number.

As soon as he heard Richie’s voice, Eddie said, “I miss you.”

“Who are you and what have you done with my Eds?” Richie said fake seriously. “He would never purposefully be nice to me or are the candy nicknames finally making you sweeter?”

“See that’s what I miss. The way you make me angry but flattered at the same time. How the fuck do you do that?” Eddie said with malice.

Richie hesitated before responding, “What happened today?”

“It’s just been this whole week really. Just shitty and frustrating.”

“You know what I do when I am frustrated?”

Eddie frowned, “If you say an inappropriate joke right now, I am not talking to you for the rest of break.”

“I think about how the most important person in my life loves me, inappropriate jokes and all.”

Eddie let out a sigh and could feel his body getting warm, “If you were here, I would totally kiss you right now.”

“Yeah? Well, I would kiss you back and probably grab your ass.” Richie stated matter of factly.

Eddie rolled his eyes, “Oh my god, shut the fuck up.”

“Let’s talk dirty over the phone.” Richie suggested in a husky voice. Eddie opened and closed his mouth several times before being able to form a proper sentence. “Ew, no! Your parents could be listening on the other line or my mom could get back from wherever she is and walk in.”

Richie completely ignored Eddie’s protests, “Alright I’ll start. My hands grip your tiny waist and bring it closer to me as your tongue does naughty things to my…”

“GOODNIGHT RICHIE!” Eddie shouted down the phone.

“Goodnight! Love you!” Richie responded laughing like a lunatic.

Eddie put the receiver down as he laughed to himself. How could he miss someone who drove him so crazy?

#reddie #eddie kaspbrak #richie tozier #ben hanscom #beverly marsh #bill denbrough #stanley uris #mike hanlon #it 2017 #it fandom #it fanfiction #cursing #love #i am a loser #the losers club #thetheatregal reddie fanfiction #Shannon writes #It's Not My Fault

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moricatlibrary · 7 years ago

Text

Eren’s Valentine

Eren gets a valentine from his not-at-all-secret admirer, Armin, and struggles to hear out his feelings.

Happy Valentine’s Day! Eremin forever!^^<3333

Valentine's Day was finally here. Armin had been taking deep breaths in and out all day, trying to stay calm, but struggled to defeat his anxiety. Ever since he'd met Eren that day by the vending machines outside last month, he'd been absolutely taken with him, grew completely enraptured by him, and fell totally and irretrievably in love with him... The very vision of his dream guy appeared before him and he was everything Armin ever could've hoped for and yet everything he didn't even realize he wanted. Eren was clumsy, awkward, deceptively grumpy, and off-putting, but so very sweet, so caring, so brave, so strong, so passionate... Armin believed heroes didn't exist, they were only something to dream about in fairy tales and action flicks. But now, he felt like dreams really could come true, because a hero was right there in front of him, shyly rejecting his eager request to watch 21 Jump Street but ultimately proving to be nothing short of amazing.

Armin had struggled to present his feelings, they were too overwhelming for him to really know what to do with them, and finally Marco told him "Why don't you just tell Eren how you feel?"

Armin blushed as he jittered. "Eh?! But I feel like I've already made it so obvious! Maybe I should just accept that his reluctance means he has no interest in me..."

Marco raised an eyebrow over his smirk. "Mmmh... I think you should just try telling him very explicitly. I rather think it's just been going right over his head."

Armin was almost too afraid to hope for that. "You think so? It's possible he's just confused?"

Marco couldn't help the chuckle in his voice, for Armin was too in love to see Eren as the airhead that he certainly believed was. "Yeah. I think so. Try telling him directly. Then see what happens." he told him with a nudge.

Armin went home after that and got to thinking. Valentine's Day was just around the corner, so he decided to make his formal confession in the form of a valentine card, one that really expressed his heart's true desires to the incredible green eyed boy he adored... And he poured all his efforts into several attempts to do so.

Now, it was the 14th. The moment of truth. Armin finished passing out his little store bought valentines to all his friends and was ready to give Eren his when the final class was dismissed. He clutched the big red envelope in his hands as tight as he could without bending or damaging it and just waited by the lockers for Eren to arrive at his... And soon enough, there he was. As tall and as handsome as ever, acting aloof, looking incredibly bored, that same disinterested look in eyes as usual, like they were just waiting for someone to light the wild fire that Armin knew was just lying dormant inside him. Armin beamed and blushed, swallowing the lump of fear in his throat and ran towards him.

"Hey, Eren!..." he called as he unconsciously placed his hand on Eren's arm before quickly retracting it upon realizing that he had.

Eren looked up from his backpack-stuffing at the little blond who'd come to greet him yet again. "Ah. You again."

Armin inhaled once more to soothe his anxiety for Eren's simple response, and began his little presentation. "Um... Eren, I-- I wanted to- give you this." he said as he handed Eren the envelope trembling in his dainty hands.

Eren took it, mindlessly taking note of it's rather big size, and read his name across the front, written in very pretty handwriting.

"It's a valentine I made just for you. I wanted to, um... give you something special. Because you're very special to me. The note explains everything better, but-- I like you, Eren. I like you a lot. Like- like you, like you..." he confessed most ungracefully, as he squeezed the backpack straps resting on his little shoulders. He wished English had more phrases for the types of affection one feels for a person like Japanese did, so he wouldn't have to stumble through his confession like some little kid in a bad sitcom. "I just think you're so great and... I just wanted you to know, if you didn't already. For whatever that's worth."

Eren listened... and nodded. "Alright, well, I'll open this when I get home." he told him nonchalantly with only a small blush crowning his cheeks as he stuffed the envelope into his backpack, on top of the other couple of valentines he'd gotten that day.

Armin jumped in to add "W-Wait! Wait, here, I have 4 more to give you!". He quickly unzipped his backpack to dig out the prototypes he'd deemed less worthy of his hero and handed them to him nervously, noting that Eren's indifferent expression remained unchanged. "I tried really hard to make you one that was as good as you deserve, and that one was the best I could manage, but you should still have these others too..."

Eren took the others from Armin’s shaky hands, a little uncomfortable with this amount of affection. Did this little guy really think he somehow didn’t get the hint that he had a crush on him? "Alright then." he concluded, and nodded again before turning to leave for home, leaving the glassy-eyed boy there alone.

Armin watched as Eren turned the corner and then immediately began bumping his head against the lockers in embarrassment... The honest approach was such a hard one but if he wanted to be Eren's boyfriend, he certainly didn't want to begin their relationship with dishonesty. And he wanted to be with Eren so badly that he couldn't help showing it anyway... And of course Eren was welcome to reject him but still, it hurt to be rejected no matter how one sliced it. He moaned against the cold metal, overcome with the ache in his heart. He really loved him...

Eren came home without a word and tossed his backpack by the couch. The house was empty, indicating his mother had probably gone to the store, leaving Eren a quiet evening to himself. He planned to go on about his routine as usual, but he stopped and looked down at his backpack for a short moment. He bent down and unzipped the pocket to pull out the big red envelope Armin handed to him by the lockers. He stared at it briefly, expression still unchanging... and tossed it on the couch cushion before walking on into the kitchen to prepare a snack. With his snack cooking in the oven a few minutes later, he passed by the couch again and glanced at the red envelope still resting there untouched, but continued walking. A few minutes later, he passed by it again on his way back to the kitchen, now in just his comfy plain t-shirt and red boxers, and glanced at the envelope once more as he walked on to retrieve his snack from the oven. After gathering his sustenance, he finally returned to the living room to unwind. With his plate in one hand and the tv remote in the other, he settled down into the couch, legs and feet folded under him comfortably. And he glanced at the envelope again... but ultimately decided to continue ignoring it, and turned on the tv to channel surf for a while. Still though, he couldn't help peering at it every now and then from the corner of his eye.

At around 5 o'clock, Eren stood up with a stretch and vacuumed up his crumbs off the cushion with the DustBuster he kept beside the couch, not because his mother told him to, but because he hated to see himself leave a mess behind. In doing so, however, he knocked the envelope onto the floor. He turned the vacuum off and casually returned it to its place to pick up the envelope and held it in his hands for a long moment. He studied it again, studied the pretty way Armin wrote his name, curious too as to why whatever was in here required such a big envelope. The gears in back of his mind turned in thought about what it might say as he stood there in silence, still with that dull expression, before finally deciding to pick up his backpack and carry himself, and the envelope, upstairs to his room. He tossed the backpack on the bed, set the envelope by his pillow, and hopped onto the mattress, intending to start on his homework before dinner, but still that darn valentine preyed on his focus...

After several minutes of trying to do his algebra assignment, he tapped his pencil mindlessly on the paper, well aware he was no longer thinking of numbers or homework, but rather working kind of hard to not think about Armin's valentine. He looked over at it again, just sitting there with Eren's name face up in the silence of his room. His expression still didn't change, but his eyebrows began to furrow a little bit with curiosity...

Finally, he tossed his math homework aside and picked up the envelope in his big tawny hands. He studied his name again, wondering what it was like to be Armin, having such soft feminine handwriting and wondering too about this envelope and what it could possibly have in store. It took him a moment to realize it, but the envelope actually wasn't store-bought; it was handmade! That was certainly an impressive extra step, he thought. No glue or tape either, it was just fancily-folded red paper. That was... also impressive, he had to admit. And at last, he opened it, and pulled out a big card, and a letter...

Eren looked down at the card itself. It was absolutely beautiful! Armin had constructed it with some very appealing paper covered in a colorful looking red and gold floral pattern and in outlined letters, it read "I love you!". But if that weren't enough, Eren noticed the center of the card seemed to part in a strange way. He pulled it apart which opened it to a new message! "I adore you!", lettered over a blue and white ocean pattern. Eren's eyes widened. That was like magic! And there was yet another part? He pulled at this one too and found another message: "You're amazing!" lettered over a green and gold forest pattern. Eren was now grinning wide and bright for how cool this card was, and grew excited to find yet one more part. He opened it to read "You're my hero!" lettered over a red and gold roaring dragon pattern. Eren happily opened the infinite card over and over, again and again, reading the infinite words with a smile. It was something he never could've imagined getting! He'd never seen anything like this... He then picked up the love letter, handwritten as beautifully as the name on the envelope, on romantic looking ocean themed stationary, and rather nervously began reading...

Dear Eren...

It's been about a month since we've known each other and I wish we'd been closer by now, but... I wanted to give you this valentine anyway. Ever since I met you I've thought you were truly amazing. One of a kind! A hero, a wonder... and yet you're someone as ordinary as a fellow sophomore in the hallways passing by me at a vending machine. It's amazing! I know you don't see it, but I do, plain as day. You're bubbling with passion and fire and strength and I truly believe that you're exactly what this cruel world needs. I never had hope for the future before but after meeting you... I just find myself overflowing with it. You inspire so much in me, and make me feel like things are going to be okay. Thank you so much for that... Forgive me, but, if I may wish just one more thing from you, I hope to be friends with you. It's alright if you don't want that, but you do seem so lonely to me. And I really want to help you cheer up by showing you all the things I can think of that might excite you and make you happy. I want to see you light up and smile! I want to see you feel passion for something fun and hear you laugh. Will you please tell me if there's anything I can do to make that happen? And if there isn't, then I wish you to find it elsewhere because you deserve it. You deserve nothing short of the happiest life you can imagine. Please believe in yourself the way I believe in you.

Love, Armin.

Eren's happy expression had turned to one of desperate confusion... Aching confusion. He quickly pulled Armin’s other valentines out to read the rest of them, (never even minding the ones he’d gotten from some other classmates which fell into the floor). One envelope contained five sheets of pre-creased and folded origami paper, and instructions on how to fold them together into hearts to reveal a message: "I-love-you". Another contained a pretty, but blank card meant for love notes... and a tiny blacklight pen that revealed a secret message written on the card in invisible ink: "I love you, Eren. You're amazing. Be true to yourself. :)". Another contained a folded paper fortune teller with several messages to explore, throughout all the corners; "My Hero!", "You're Amazing!", "My Love!", "My Dream!"; and all the folds, "I love your eyes!", "Will you go to the beach with me sometime?", "You're so intriguing!", "Can we watch the sunset together?", "You're a vision of strength!", "Will you watch a movie with me?", "You are my hope...", "Can we please be friends?". Eren was growing dizzy... This was all becoming overwhelming. Finally he opened the last envelope, and found a simple card inside with a red heart painted on it... and a funny looking coin with a hole in it taped just above it. Armin had drawn an arrow next to it that pointed to the heart, indicating to Eren that he should scratch the paint away and reveal a message: "I love you... Thank you for being my hero. Please be true to yourself. Love, Armin."

Love, Armin. Love, Armin. Love, Armin. Eren felt like he'd read those words a thousand times now!

"God dammit..." he grunted, his eyebrows furrowing and his hands shaking in frustration as he grit his teeth and gripped the last card. "God dammit!" He shut his eyes and tossed the valentines aside in a fit as he fell back into the bed with a rough bounce. "God dammit!... Why?! Why does he think I'm so great?..." he whined, tears pooling in his eyes as he stared up at the ceiling...

Eren tried to avoid Armin's company ever since that day they met. It wasn't necessarily that he didn't like Armin, but Armin was so instantly infatuated with him and Eren just couldn't understand it. He'd watched him from afar for a long time, inexplicably intrigued by him, and he only meant to finally ask why he lets people bully him, but wound up becoming some sort of hero just for punching someone who deserved it. And now Armin was calling him the greatest thing in the world, when Eren couldn't feel farther from such an honor. Armin was smart, wasn't he? He should know better than to indulge in nonsense like love at first sight. Let alone the idea that Eren was some kind of a hero. What the hell could he possibly see to make him think Eren was anything but an average ordinary empty headed brat? Maybe his glasses were just fucked up. To be that pretty little blond guy's hero... it was too much to hope for. None of those things Armin said made any sense to Eren. How could he like him so much? How could he see him in such a wondrous light? How could he see any of these things in him that Eren himself just couldn't?

Eren rose up from the bed and stood up to walk over and look at himself in the mirror on his dresser. He looked at his empty distressed face. His eyes were lightless and he had wrinkles by his mouth from constantly frowning. His arms weren't very muscular and his haircut was plain. He felt like he looked so dull. Just a domestic, bored high school student with nothing but anger to give. Being that hopeful boy's hero... Yes, it was too much. Eren couldn't bear to dare believing in it. He had to prepare his rejection to him tomorrow, to just end this mess already, once and for all...

Armin held himself as he stood by the lockers the next morning, waiting patiently for Eren to arrive. This was it. He'd either be rejected or accepted and either way he'd have to move forward after this. He buried his face in his hands. Why did crushing on Eren hurt so much and yet feel so wonderful at the same time? Suddenly, he heard soft-shoed foot steps approaching and turned to see that Eren had arrived. It would all begin or end here... "Ah... Good morning, Eren..."

Eren only stared in silence, looking upset, his expression somewhere between sick and annoyed. And Armin noticed him clutching the letter from his valentine in a fist.

Armin gripped at his sleeves anticipating what was to come... but ultimately found himself unable to bear the awkward, intimidating silence any longer. "Eren, I'm sorry for coming on so strong, I'll accept any answer you give me, even if it's just you walking away... I can take it." he pleaded meekly, his glassy eyes seeming like they were going to shatter with heartbreak from behind his annoying spectacles. "So... What is it?"

Eren looked down at him, a frown on his lips and his fuzzy eyebrows furrowed. He'd planned his little speech before he came here. Dude, you are hopelessly lost. Why would you make someone you barely know 5 elaborate valentines professing your love to them? And where do you get off making all these assertions about me? Why do you think you saw something in me in 2 seconds that I wouldn't have seen in 15 years? What is it you even think you see? I’m not your goddamn hero!!! Why can't you just look at the facts and move on?! How can you see me as one?!!

Armin stared, wet eyes shining from the tears building up in them, still waiting for his rejection.

But Eren remained silent. His speech flowed through his head again and again, and yet the words wouldn't come out. His heart was aching... And the ache worsened the more he thought about it. He had every intention of rejecting this blue eyed boy and yet he couldn't even begin. Why was that?...

Eren watched as Armin swallowed a lump in his throat, looking like his final faint but precious glimmer of hope for love was about to be extinguished. And in that moment Eren realized... he didn't want to reject him. His fist relaxed, dropping the love note to the ground, and the angry speech in his head disappeared completely. His expression softened and his voice fell so gently on Armin's ears. "I'm sorry... I don't know how to respond to your valentines." he began, unsurprised to find that these were the true, honest words he’d really wanted to say all along. "They're too much for me. I don't have the words to respond to them to return the favor. I can't even begin to tell you how I feel. I'm so sorry. But for now, I guess what I can give you... is this."

The next thing Armin knew, a pair of plush, warm lips were pressing against his. His big eyes widened, his brain tried to process what was happening but for once, it couldn't think. A second passed. Maybe two? And Eren was still there, still kissing him, seemingly not intending to leave anytime soon. It wasn’t a dream then. This was really happening! Somehow, some way, the amazing Eren Yeager was kissing him. Armin finally closed his eyes to indulge in this gift of a moment and gingerly slipped his trembling hands over Eren's back while those soft lips continued to explore his.

Eren was so clumsy at kissing him. His mouth would open too wide, his teeth knocked on Armin's, spit brushed over the corners of their mouths and their lips, and he wasn't sure what to do with his tongue.

And yet, bad kiss or not, Armin cherished every second. His heart beat so hard and so fast, he worried he may pass out before too long, (in which case, he would only hope that Eren would catch him.)

Eren grew light headed, and only when he felt like he may be sick if he kept indulging in these suddenly overwhelming emotions did he finally pull away from the lingering boy's lips that hung onto his for as long as they could. And he marveled at the look on the blushing blond's face that he'd left behind. He looked so airy and light, so ethereal and beautiful... And when the courageous dizzy boy opened his blue eyes again to look into Eren’s, Eren felt like an arrow had shot right through his heart. Those glowing oceanic eyes put the stars to shame and every diamond too. Eren couldn't help reaching out and removing his glasses to look at them full view... It was the most inspiring sight he had ever seen. And then, Eren he did something he'd never really done before: put on a big, wide, dazzling smile, the kind romantic heroes would envy, and the one from Armin's dreams... just for him. A presentation never before seen by anyone was now exclusively Armin’s to love.

And at last, the bell rang.

Eren sighed, but his lips still curled up in a smile. He had a lot to look forward to, after all. He glanced down and picked up the love letter that he'd dropped, planning to hold onto it forever now. He then tapped lightly up against Armin's chin, treasuring the way the little blond kept leaning in like he wanted to be closer. "See you after class." he purred.

Armin's voice cracked as he finally managed a response. "Ye-ahh..."

Eren turned to leave but stopped short, quickly turning back to tell Armin before he forgot, "Thank you for all the valentines! They were perfect..."

Armin blushed again. He'd stayed up all night preparing those valentines, working so hard to keep them interactive and enticing for Eren, finally deciding that an infinite card that would tell him his feelings forever would be the best choice. It was such a labor of love for which he expected nothing in return, not even real appreciation. And yet... "You're welcome." he told him with a humble smile.

Eren simpered and held his hand up to wave goodbye before finally leaving for class. As he sat at his desk, he found himself high on the greatest feeling he'd ever felt. He was looking forward to something. To Armin. Looking forward to what wonders Armin might have to show him, to what sorts of things they could share in, and maybe he’d even discover what it was Armin seemingly saw in him. If it was good enough to warrant that much love, then maybe there was something in him after all. His heartbeat pounded at such a funny rhythm that made him smile to himself in his seat. What a feeling... He had a lot to look forward to indeed. And this was a feeling he could not wait to pursue.

#eremin #eren jaeger #armin arlert #snk #aot #erearu #valentines day

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