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butterflies-dragons · 4 years ago

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Hey love your metas! I want to ask about Sansa dealing with her sexual assaults and trauma. The way she mismemorised the traumatic events, do you think she gonna misremember any other similar traumatic events in future? Do you think her family will help her remember these events n dealing with it?

Hello Anon,

Thank you ♡

I recently wrote about Sansa dealing with trauma, particularly sexual assault trauma.

Here is the post for anyone interested.

And here is another one.

Almost every meta, essay, analysis, etc, about the so-called “un-kiss”, has been written from a sexual perspective. For the majority of this fandom, either shippers or not, Sansa remembering a kiss instead of the sexual assault she suffered and later having nightmares with her assaulter being in bed with her, CLEARLY means that she is having sexual fantasies with her assaulter, that she is expressing her dark, repressed, hidden, deepest desires about her assaulter, that all this is part of her sexual awakening.

But every time GRRM has been asked about the subject, either from a sexual perspective or not, he consistently tagged Sansa misremembering things and events as “unreliable narrator.” Lets see.

In chronological order:

JUNE 26, 2001

SF, TARGARYENS, VALYRIA, SANSA, MARTELLS, AND MORE

[GRRM is asked about Sansa misremembering the name of Joffrey’s sword.]

The Lion’s Paw / Lion’s Tooth business, on the other hand, is intentional. A small touch of the unreliable narrator. I was trying to establish that the memories of my viewpoint characters are not infallible. Sansa is simply remembering it wrong. A very minor thing (you are the only one to catch it to date), but it was meant to set the stage for a much more important lapse in memory. You will see, in A STORM OF SWORDS and later volumes, that Sansa remembers the Hound kissing her the night he came to her bedroom… but if you look at the scene, he never does. That will eventually mean something, but just now it’s a subtle touch, something most of the readers may not even pick up on.

[Source]

It is very curious that the person who misremembered Joffrey’s sword name wasn’t Sansa, it was Arya:

The big man shrugged. "I was Joffrey's sworn shield. The butcher's boy attacked a prince of the blood."

"That's a lie!" Arya squirmed in Harwin's grip. "It was me. I hit Joffrey and threw Lion's Paw in the river. Mycah just ran away, like I told him."

—A Storm of Swords - Arya VI

But despite the unreliable narrator’s identity confusion, what I understand from George’s answer is that misremembering a minor detail like Joff’s sword name “it was meant to set the stage for a much more important lapse in memory,” like the “un-kiss” for example, that George mentioned next.

At the same time, the “un-kiss” will eventually mean something, but just now it’s a subtle touch, something most of the readers may not even pick up on.

Take note that George’s answer is from 2001, after ASOS was published, so by that time he already knew about the existence of the shippers that want Sansa with the Hound being together in a romantic/sexual relationship. You can check this fact by reading the questions and answers from 1999 compiled in this post. But he still mentioned that the meaning of the “un-kiss” was “a subtle touch, something most of the readers may not even pick up on.”

So much for the so-called “evident”, “canon”, “endgame“ ship and ASOS being “their ship’s book” ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

* * *

OCTOBER 05, 2002

SANSA’S MEMORY

[Note: This mail has been edited for brevity.]

… this is an inconsistency with ASoS more than an outright error. In ASoS, Sansa thinks that the Hound kissed her before leaving her room and King’s Landing. In ACoK, no kiss is mentioned in the scene, though Sansa did think that he was about to do so.

Well, not every inconsistency is a mistake, actually. Some are quite intentional. File this one under “unreliable narrator” and feel free to ponder its meaning...

[Source]

Here George’s answer is more succinct: the “un-kiss” is not a mistake, it was intentional, file this one under “unreliable narrator.”

* * *

NOVEMBER 27, 2007

GEORGE R.R. MARTIN ANSWERS YOUR QUESTIONS

Here’s a really particular question (which I realize means it probably won’t get asked in a general interview): In A Storm of Swords, there is a chapter early on where Sansa is thinking back to the scene at the end of A Clash of Kings when The Hound came into her room during the battle. She thinks in the chapter about how he kissed her, but in the scene in A Clash of Kings, this actually didn’t happen. Was that a typo or something? —Valdora

GRRM: It’s not a typo. It is something! [Laughs] ”Unreliable narrator” is the key phrase there. The second scene is from Sansa’s thoughts. And what does that reveal about her psychologically? I try to be subtle about these things.

[Source]

Here George gave us little clues:

[The un-kiss] is from Sansa’s thoughts [an internal thought for herself, she is not telling anyone that the Hound kissed her]

What does that reveal about her psychologically?

I try to be subtle about these things

Also take note how GRRM repeatedly highlights the word “subtle” regarding the “un-kiss”:

but just now it’s a subtle touch (After ASOS but before AFFC)

I try to be subtle about these things (Shortly after AFFC)

This is a stark contrast with the majority of this fandom, either shippers or not, that interpret and believe that Sansa remembering a kiss instead of the sexual assault she suffered and later having nightmares with her assaulter being in bed with her, CLEARLY has to do with her sexual awakening, that the “un-kiss” means that she is having sexual fantasies with her assaulter, that she is expressing her dark, repressed, hidden, deepest desires about her assaulter.

And I wonder, since Sansa has similar dreams with Ilyn Payne and often feels naked around him:

As the headsman looked at her, his pale colorless eyes seemed to strip the clothes away from her, and then the skin, leaving her soul naked before him. Still silent, he turned and walked away.

—A Game of Thrones - Sansa I

She dreamt of footsteps on the tower stair, an ominous scraping of leather on stone as a man climbed slowly toward her bedchamber, step by step. All she could do was huddle behind her door and listen, trembling, as he came closer and closer. It was Ser Ilyn Payne, she knew, coming for her with Ice in his hand, coming to take her head. There was no place to run, no place to hide, no way to bar the door. Finally the footsteps stopped and she knew he was just outside, standing there silent with his dead eyes and his long pocked face. That was when she realized she was naked. She crouched down, trying to cover herself with her hands, as her door began to swing open, creaking, the point of the greatsword poking through …

She woke murmuring, “Please, please, I’ll be good, I’ll be good, please don’t,” but there was no one to hear.

—A Game of Thrones - Sansa VI

Once she dreamed it was still her marrying Joff, not Margaery, and on their wedding night he turned into the headsman Ilyn Payne.

—A Storm of Swords - Sansa II

Does this mean that Sansa is having sexual fantasies with her father’s executioner as well? Does this mean that Sansa has dark, repressed, hidden, deepest desires about Ilyn Payne too?

I think that the “un-kiss” has to do with Sansa’s internal thoughts, how her mind works, how her mind deals with unpleasant/disturbing events. So in order to decipher its meaning we must ask ourselves about Sansa’s psychology, she is a deeply traumatized child by many events: Her direwolf’s death, her father’s death, the disillusionment of her Prince and the Queen as high moral figures, the disillusionment of the knights as fair heroes, the psychological, physical and sexual abuse she has suffered so far. The “un-kiss” is a subtlety from the author, this can’t be as easy as “Sansa has the hots for the Hound”.

Sansa: All she wanted was for things to be nice and pretty, the way they were in the songs. —A Game of Thrones - Sansa I

Sansa: Almost raped by the Hound during the night of the Blackwater Battle, he invaded her bedroom, pushed her to bed, put a dagger at her throat, requested a song from her under threat of death.

There is a song called “Off to Gulltown” that says:

Off to Gulltown to see the fair maid, heigh-ho, heigh-ho. I’ll steal a sweet kiss with the point of my blade, heigh-ho, heigh-ho. I’ll make her my love and we’ll rest in the shade, heigh-ho, heigh-ho.

Sansa: The Hound kissed me during the night of the Blackwater Battle.

Fandom/Shippers: Sansa fancies the Hound uhhhhhhhhh

Sansa: Has unpleasant memories of the “un-kiss” feeling soiled by it.

Sansa: Has a nightmare about Tyrion and the Hound in bed with her the night after Marillion attempted to rape her.

Fandom/Shippers: Sansa fancies the Hound and have fun dreams with him uhhhhhhhhhh

It's really all that easy?

George hates to be predictable:

I spoke earlier about how predictable stories bore me. And we’ve all, you know, seen the stories where the hero, you know, he seems to get in trouble—he’s all alone, he’s surrounded by twenty foes, but he’s the hero! You know he’s going to get out of it; you’re not really engaged. I want you to be engaged. I want you to feel what the viewpoint character is feeling. If the viewpoint character is in trouble, I want you to be afraid, I want you not to know whether he’s going to get out of it. And I think the only way to do that is establish very early in the books that you’re playing for real, that anyone can die, and if the character’s in a life or death situation that he might not survive it. That these are not superheroes, these are not Indiana Jones. These are fallible human beings who are vulnerable to death and betrayal and all that. To my mind, that makes the stories much more suspenseful and gripping and emotionally involving.

(...)

I also liked the idea of the story not being predictable. Too much of fantasy is too predictable, you know? They say we write the stories that we want to read. And I was a reader long before I was a writer, and as a reader I love stories that take me to places that I don’t expect, and I hate stories where you read the first five pages and you know exactly what’s going to happen for the rest of the book. Those stories bore me very quickly, and I don’t want to bore my readers or indeed bore myself in writing, so I try to, you know, create a fairly complicated thing that’s full of twists and surprises and unexpected turns, but all of them rooted hopefully in human nature and arising out of the characters and the desires and wishes and dreams of those characters.

—A Dance With Dragons: George R. R. Martin

And he is always distracting us:

There are some mysteries in these books. There are some things that I’m gonna reveal later on that I’m planting clues for. There are some later plot twists that I’m foreshadowing. There are things that are gonna happen in Book 5 and Book 6 and Book 7 where I’ve planted a seed for it in Book 1. But I don’t necessarily want to give away my hand. So, what do I do when I plant the seed? Well, I plant the seed, but I try to do a little literary sleight of hand, and while I’m planting the seed, my other hand is up there waving and is distracting you with some flashy bit of wordplay or something that’s going on in the foreground, while the seed is being planted in the background. So hopefully the seed is there, the foreshadowing is there, but maybe you won’t notice it, because it’s surrounded by so many other things.

—The George R. R. Martin Podcast, Episode 7 (9:17)

Transcription provided by this post.

Think about it!

* * *

DECEMBER 2016 ASKING GEORGE R.R. MARTIN ABOUT SAN/SAN

My question is regarding Sansa Stark. Her sexuality has evolved through every book and yet the memory that seems to stick the more with her in this regard is the night of the Blackwater. So I was wondering if you can expand on your view on what this is, since as before that night her interactions with Sandor Clegane weren’t really physical.

The night of the Blackwater, yes. Ahhh… Well, I’m not going to give you a straight answer on that hahaha… Uhmmm, but I would say that ahhh… you know a television show and a book each has its own strengths and weaknesses; there a re tools that are available to me as a novelist, that are not available to people doing a television show. And of course there are tools available to them, that are not available to a novelist, I mean they can lay in a soundtrack, they can do special effects, they can do amazing things that I can’t do, I just have words on paper. What can I do, well I can use things like the internal narrative, I can take you inside of territories… thoughts, which you can’t do in a TV show… Ahhh… You just have the words they speak, you see them from outside because the camera is external, while prose is internal, and I have the device known as “unreliable narrator”… Ahhh… Which again, they don’t have. So, think about those two aspects when you consider that night of the Blackwater.

[Source]

Here George was asked directly, by a shipper, about the “un-kiss” and Sansa’s sexuality, and he stuck with his classic “unreliable narrator” answer.

George also repeated these things:

I can use things like the internal narrative

I can take you inside of territories… thoughts

Prose is internal

I have the device known as “unreliable narrator

His comparison between a TV Show and a Book is very telling:

You just have the words they speak, you see them from outside because the camera is external, while prose is internal.

Also, it seems that he is done with questions about Sansa’s sexuality, as you can see from the chronology of questions and answers in this post.

So, the “un-kiss” and any other misremembering from Sansa has to do with her psychological state, not with her sexuality in particular.

Sansa did something similar with the Trident incident, where her direwolf Lady, part of her soul, was killed by her own father using his sword Ice.

She remembered the facts exactly as they happened when she told her father about it. But later she started to blame Arya and Cersei, but exculpates Joffrey, her future husband:

Sansa and Septa Mordane were given places of high honor, to the left of the raised dais where the king himself sat beside his queen. When Prince Joffrey seated himself to her right, she felt her throat tighten. He had not spoken a word to her since the awful thing had happened, and she had not dared to speak to him. At first she thought she hated him for what they'd done to Lady, but after Sansa had wept her eyes dry, she told herself that it had not been Joffrey's doing, not truly. The queen had done it; she was the one to hate, her and Arya. Nothing bad would have happened except for Arya.

—A Game of Thrones - Sansa II

She accommodates and compartmentalize a lot as a way to cope and survive every unpleasant, disturbing and traumatic event that already happened to her in her short 13 years.

So to answer your specific questions:

Do you think she gonna misremember any other similar traumatic events in future?

I think so. This is sad because it means that Sansa will experience even more traumatic events that she will have to deal with...

We need to wait to know the “un-kiss” true meaning. She romanticizes the Hound’s rape attempt against her and made it into a kiss, just like a song called “Off to Gulltown” that describes a non-con/sexual abuse situation against a maid, like her.

Inside her mind Sansa decided to remember the good things that men like Tyrion and the Hound did for her. In her first AFFC chapter (Sansa I), she thinks:

When Joff had her beaten, the Imp defended her.

When the mob sought to rape her, the Hound carried her to safety.

When the Lannisters wed her to Tyrion against her will, Ser Garlan the Gallant gave her comfort.

Only in her nightmares the true slipped out:

And she dreamed of her wedding night too, of Tyrion's eyes devouring her as she undressed. Only then he was bigger than Tyrion had any right to be, and when he climbed into the bed his face was scarred only on one side. "I'll have a song from you," he rasped, and Sansa woke and found the old blind dog beside her once again. "I wish that you were Lady," she said.

—A Storm of Swords - Sansa VI

But after Marillion’s attack, Littlefinger forced kiss and Lysas’s death she is starting to join the dots. For an instance, when she hears Littlerfinger using the same sexual innuendo than Marillion, “Let me warm you”, she realizes that Petyr Baelish is bad news:

Let me warm you, Sansa. Take off those gloves, give me your hands."

"I won't." He sounded almost like Marillion, the night he'd gotten so drunk at the wedding. Only this time Lothor Brune would not appear to save her; Ser Lothor was Petyr's man. "You shouldn't kiss me. I might have been your own daughter . . ."

—A Storm of Swords - Sansa VII

The whole passage from her first AFFC chapter (Sansa I) is very revealing:

The things her aunt had said just before she fell still troubled Sansa greatly. "Ravings," Petyr called them. "My wife was mad, you saw that for yourself." And so she had. All I did was build a snow castle, and she meant to push me out the Moon Door. Petyr saved me. He loved my mother well, and . . .

And her? How could she doubt it? He had saved her.

He saved Alayne, his daughter, a voice within her whispered. But she was Sansa too . . . and sometimes it seemed to her that the Lord Protector was two people as well. He was Petyr, her protector, warm and funny and gentle . . . but he was also Littlefinger, the lord she'd known at King's Landing, smiling slyly and stroking his beard as he whispered in Queen Cersei's ear. And Littlefinger was no friend of hers. When Joff had her beaten, the Imp defended her, not Littlefinger. When the mob sought to rape her, the Hound carried her to safety, not Littlefinger. When the Lannisters wed her to Tyrion against her will, Ser Garlan the Gallant gave her comfort, not Littlefinger. Littlefinger never lifted so much as his little finger for her.

Except to get me out. He did that for me. I thought it was Ser Dontos, my poor old drunken Florian, but it was Petyr all the while. Littlefinger was only a mask he had to wear. Only sometimes Sansa found it hard to tell where the man ended and the mask began. Littlefinger and Lord Petyr looked so very much alike. She would have fled them both, perhaps, but there was nowhere for her to go. Winterfell was burned and desolate, Bran and Rickon dead and cold. Robb had been betrayed and murdered at the Twins, along with their lady mother. Tyrion had been put to death for killing Joffrey, and if she ever returned to King's Landing the queen would have her head as well. The aunt she'd hoped would keep her safe had tried to murder her instead. Her uncle Edmure was a captive of the Freys, while her great-uncle the Blackfish was under siege at Riverrun. I have no place but here, Sansa thought miserably, and no true friend but Petyr.

—A Feast for Crows - Sansa I

As you can see Sansa is starting to realize that the persons that help her, can also hurt her and have ulterior motives to help her, that the help is not unconditional and always has a price.

So I think she will reach a point where she would be able to do the same with all her abusers, she will realize that men like Tyrion, the Hound, Dontos, etc, have helped her but at the same time have hurt her, Tyrion accepted to marry her and almost commit marital rape, the Hound attempted to rape her and repeatedly abuse her psychologically and physically, even Dontos, always requesting kisses.

Do you think her family will help her remember these events and dealing with it?

Most probably. Meeting Jeyne Poole again, for example. Knowing what Littlefinger really did to her, and all his crimes against House Stark.

I really hope for that moment of realization, when she can stop lying to herself, when she can clearly see all those men as her abusers and that she owns them nothing.

George, please! She had enough already... Give her some peace and quite! Give her true friends and her family back!

Thanks for your message.

#anon ask #sansa stark #anti sandor clegane #anti tyrion lannister #anti petyr baelish #anti littlefinger #anti sansa's abusers

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sparkingstoryinspiration · 4 years ago

Text

Outlining and plot development

Wherever you fall on the spectrum of pantser to plotter to throwing pens at your computer and hoping your story will write itself (that’s a self callout) here is a guide (that no one asked for!) to plotting your story!

Is this going to be an exhaustive list of everything you have to do to write the next NYT bestseller? no. This is, like everything else on this blog, a summary of ideas. They won’t all apply, they won’t all work for everyone, they won’t cover everything, but it’s a start. That’s the best part of the writing prompt business, you supply the inspiration and other people do the hard work!

Okay, let’s get into it

1. What story are you telling?

Now, I’m going to be really honest with you here. If you don’t know this, you have a lot of work to do. And that’s okay!

Take some time to flesh out your idea. Wherever you start, I promise you there’s more in your head waiting to be discovered. Take out a piece of paper, open up a new document, write it on your walls! (we will NOT be covering lost security deposits!) and do some brainstorming.

The basic elements of a story are

- characters

- conflict

- resolution

- plot twist(s)

- setting/background (think physical setting where the story takes place and informational setting, worldbuilding, context, etc)

We have a post on developing characters here and posts on the other elements are in the works! I wish I could say they’ll be posted in a timely manner but . . . they won’t, they just won’t lmao I’m sorry

You don’t have to have all of these points completely figured out before you move onto plotting! In fact, you shouldn’t! Or, if you think you do, be open to change because it’s important to remember that all these points, especially characters, are heavily affected by the plot!

2. How are you telling this story?

This is for the technical stuff.

What does the formatting look like? Are you breaking it up into chapters? Parts? Not everyone writes drafts like this so that’s okay, maybe you’re going to write out of order, maybe you’ll break it up after, whatever works for you though I highly encourage you to switch it up every now and then and see if anything works better for you than what you’ve been doing.

3. Consider the usual structure of a story

There are a lot of these, try not to get overwhelmed or too snagged on any of them but here are two interesting ones!

The first is the three act structure, we’re all pretty familiar with this.

Think of an action movie, it starts with a small introduction, it introduces a main character, side characters, stakes, a setting. Then the conflict happens!

BAM! the beloved spy is thought to be a traitor, their family is being held hostage and they have to betray everyone they work with to save them, they have a horrible secret that’s coming back to bite them in the ass. Whatever it is, this moves us into the second act, the journey, the trials, whatever you want to call them.

This is the largest part of the story and the tension continues to build until we reach the climax of the story. They save they world, or their family, or themselves, or they don’t. Whatever it is, this results in the final act where the action falls, everything is resolved, and the story is over (unless a sequel is set up but that’s a whole other issue), you get the idea.

(image found here)

Another popular structure is the hero cycle which echoes the three act structure but focuses particularly on, you guessed it! Heroes!

(image found here)

Let’s take a popular storybook hero as an example here, Percy Jackson. (Needless to say, there will be spoilers if you, for some terrible reason, have not read Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief)

All of these milestones are a little debatable but I’ll pick a few to use as examples.

Percy begins his story, he is introduced as a character, I could write a whole essay on Percy’s development and the incredible writing of Rick Riordan (lmao, I have) but I’ll try to keep this brief.

When his mother is kidnapped, he has a call to action, a goal: to save his mother.

He crosses a very literal threshold into Camp Half Blood and his story begins.

He goes through many trials and tests, Medusa, St. Louis, Waterland, the Lotus Hotel, and so on.

It’s called abyss here but I learned it as the final battle, in PJO Percy faces Ares. This is very similar to the climax and falling action of the three act structure. Following this, loose ends are tied up, characters complete their journeys and their arcs, and the hero returns.

It’s very fascinating, I highly recommend reading up on it. Again, you’ll find many many stories you read follow this structure.

There are literally so many of these and if you’re interested, here’s a link to some more. Keep in mind, your story doesn’t have to fit these perfectly but even if you’ve planned out a story without these in mind, you’ll probably find most, if not all of it, fits pretty well within these lines. They can also help with pacing, if your first act is most of your story, you may need to move your conflict and stakes up earlier in the story to maintain interest.

4. Now you outline

Obviously not everyone outlines. Personally, I cannot understand this at all. Now, since this entire post is about plotting and outlining, we’re not really going to talk about pantsing because . . . that kind of defeats the point of this post. But! If you have anything to say about pantsing, tips, tricks, personal experiences, by all means, reblog this and add them! I don’t have any experience with pantsing so I really don’t have much to say on the topic.

There are lots of different ways to outline a story. Personally, I recommend starting big. Think acts and parts, find your conflict and your stakes, you know you have to introduce your character and the world, how are you going to do that? That goes first, then stakes, so we care and then conflict, so the thing we care about is, well, at stake.

Chronologically, you have the journey now, but let’s take a minute to talk about the end.

4.5. How does it end?

Even if you’re a pantser, I really, really recommend that you know how your story ends. Having a point you want to get to can make a world of difference in the process of planning and writing a story. Sure, you can run a marathon without setting an end point, but it’ll slow you down if you’re always checking to see what mile you’re on.

So how does it end? Happy? Sad? Who is there? Logically speaking, your antagonist and protagonist should usually be present, supporting characters? How does it end, does the protagonist prevail and save the day? Is it a cliff hanger? If it’s a race to an end, who gets there first and what does it mean?

Find your ending, and then work on your middle.

5. The smaller picture

If you have the main points (a beginning and an ending, the conflict and the stakes, your characters), now you can start thinking about the smaller details.

You have an ending so what needs to happen to get your character(s) there? Consider your minor characters, where do they come in? Make sure they have a purpose!

Keep in mind, in the first draft and even the second and for as long as you need it to be, your outline is fluid. You may very well be writing your project and realize the pacing isn’t right, or that something needs to happen later in the story, or that you need to add a scene. Then, when it comes to editing and redrafting, it’s likely that you’ll change it even more.

Try not to get caught up in it being perfect, that’s not what first drafts are for. Make it workable and approach it with an open mind, things are going to change, that’s a given.

6. Write your story!

A few notes on this. As one of my favorite authors, Neil Gaiman says, “the process of doing your second draft is the process of making it look like you knew what you were doing all along.”

So once you’re done with your first draft and the time comes to redraft it and you’re working on your outline, now is the perfect time to add your foreshadowing and rework your plot twists. This isn’t to say they don’t have a place in your first draft, they do, give it your best shot! But your story is fluid and your outline and plans are bound to have changed and your editing stages are the best stages to really make sure foreshadowing, plot twists, and all or acts or hero cycle, or whatever you want to call it, works together.

And this concludes another guide that no one asked for. I hope you enjoyed it and if you have any suggestions for ones you’d like to see we currently have plot twists, endings, motivation, and more in the works!

Happy writing!

- Mod S

p.s. these can be found on our blog under the tag story development series!

#writing #ideas #inspiration #writing ideas #writing inspiration #stories #story ideas #story inspiration #plot development #outlining #the hero cycle #three act story #story structure #story development series #plot bunnies #story starters #story sparks

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bubonickitten · 5 years ago

Note

i'm so happy you got into tma!! i've always enjoyed seeing you write meta posts for dragon age, so seeing you write meta for tma is such a treat! thank you for your words! i hope you have a lovely day :)

Thanks!! it’s been awhile since I’ve written meta for anything, I forgot how much I liked it. Once I realized how emotionally invested I was getting in the characters, I should’ve known I’d end up having to make a dedicated TMA meta tag.

And not to be dramatic of anything, but TMA really is a masterpiece of horror imo. I like horror, but it’s always a minefield because so much of horror really does (sometimes unintentionally, sometimes not) employ some really awful racist, ableist, etc. tropes, or rely on sexual violence or hate violence as a narrative device without making any critical commentary on those subjects. So sometimes there’s a horror story that has a neat premise, but then it’s so saturated with unnecessary and harmful tropes that I just end up feeling alienated and frustrated.

Even a lot of supernatural horror falls back on Lovecraft, and a lot of people don’t realize how racist and xenophobic his works really are. admittedly, there are some cool, more recent transformative works that reappropriate Lovecraft into something new (e.g. some stuff in the New Weird genre), but sometimes people just grab the aesthetic without knowing its roots. And I get it, it’s a cool aesthetic, I love monsters and tentacles and things that slumber in the deep and the dark -- it just ends up being bad when people aren’t conscious of what Lovecraft was actually saying. which, I know, is how tropes work sometimes -- creators reuse tropes because they’re so salient in fiction, but sometimes the roots are really horrible and we just don’t know the history, and horror is a genre that is really susceptible to that.

Getting off topic -- what I mean is, I really think Jonny Sims is a brilliant writer and this is one of my favorite horror stories I’ve come across. He’s a master at character development and foreshadowing. I’m on my third time listening through and there’s just so much detail that I didn’t notice on my first listen, so many thematic elements and parallels and keywords that he snuck in from the very first few episodes that become so important later. It starts out as having a horror anthology vibe, with really brilliant short stories embedded in a larger framework, but then you realize that every single one of those stories is connected to the larger metaplot.

I joke about Jonathan Archivist Sims and his conspiracy corkboard thinking, but I’m really sitting here listening with my own conspiracy corkboard during each episode -- sometimes reading too far into things, sometimes not, but damn is it enjoyable to try to pick apart the web (so to speak).

I think it’s incredible how well Jonny Sims manages to pull all those strings together. It’s partly because he had the whole plot mapped out before they even recorded episode one, but it’s impressive to me, because I always have trouble following through on a story -- I’m not good at being decisive or consistent with my writing, I’m always changing my mind and losing the threads of what I was originally trying to do, and honestly most of the time I don’t have an end in mind anyway, so I end up giving up on things too early.

One of the other things I appreciate is just... how compassionate Jonny is when writing his characters. One of my biggest complaints about Dragon Age was always that I felt like certain characters weren’t written with real compassion and weren’t given a chance to grow and so much of their potential was wasted. Jonny Sims, otoh, puts his characters in some dark, painful situations, which can be heartwrenching and anxiety-inducing to listen to (especially when it’s characters I relate to), but he also allows them to grow and change throughout the story, and that adds to their complexity. Even the characters I hate, I can still wrap my head around their motives. Without giving away too many spoilers for anyone who hasn’t listened and wants to eventually, the Big Bad is repulsive in every way but his motives are so realistic and emblematic of real world horrors like imperialism, Machiavellianism, totalitarianism, and a willingness to abuse, manipulate, groom, and oppress others for self-profit.

Jonny Sims manages to utilize common fears, horrors, and phobias to present some really clever and thoroughly unsettling short stories. Even the ones that explore a fear that I don’t personally have make my skin crawl -- he’s just that good at descriptive imagery and conveying psychological horror. And a lot of the episodes also have social commentary (which is a hallmark of good fantasy, sci-fi, and horror for me) -- sometimes it’s subtle, but then sometimes he comes out with these episodes that knock the wind out of you. Especially the most recent episodes. He comes right out of the gate sometimes with a treatise on war or institutional violence or xenophobia and it’s... well, it’s powerful.

And, god, I could write forever about how this story deals with the question of what it means to be human in the most horrific of circumstances -- what choices we make, what we are versus what we do, whether we grow or stagnate, the importance of human connection and trust and love even (and especially) when the world seems against you. The potential for character studies is... oof, I want to write an entire essay.

You know those books that are like, “The Philosophy of [Fiction Story]”? Oh, I am so tempted to write a full essay on the philosophical concepts presented in TMA. Especially existentialism, lmao. “What use is a philosophy minor?” people asked. Apparently the answer is, “Spend time during quarantine writing a treatise on existential philosophy in a horror-tragedy podcast I binged within a week and now can’t shut up about, because it’s been nine years since I had a philosophy class and I forgot how much I enjoyed pointlessly navel gazing about the nature of existence.”

I’ll shut up now. TL;DR if anyone wants to ramble at me about TMA, chances are I’ll be excited to respond. I’m having trouble focusing on creative writing right now, and I think my hype over this podcast might be helping me with writer’s block a little bit.

#tma #tma meta #Anonymous #long post

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cyberlifefortune · 5 years ago

Text

Users Manual

Use Search Function and Key Words to skip portions and find what you’re looking for.

Interaction Generalizations.

Just be nice. The meaner and more impatient you are, the less inclined I am to interact. It’s how to push me far, far, FAR away from you; I’m anxious, tired, old af and just here to relax. Please don’t hesitate to DM or Inbox me, the WORST thing that could happen is I say no thank you right? Unless you’re being a dick and then the worst thing is I ignore and block. But I mean if you’re coming in prolapse first, I’m probably not going to give the time of day. So.... Be nice!

I cut my lengths, usually by approx 2-4 posts depending how short/long our responses are.

Responses/One Liners/ParaRP

Please don’t hesitate to write as much as you feel appropriate. If you write a para novella response, I will do my best to give back what I have been given, but please don’t treat it like a high school essay (Don’t double space, HEADERize everything and then add a lot of cushioning words, or repeat yourself unnecessarily. I want to be able to respond to you too!). If you seem disinterested, please don’t suffer through a thread, I am happy to finish a thread if you feel that it is done and spent or have no muse for it. We can start another or plot or even just leave it there until we have the muse for their interactions again.

I personally prefer Para, or longer, but sometimes my time constraints only allow for so much and I will understand for yours as well. Don’t feel bad if I slam you with a paratellenovella in a six part series and you only put out a few paragraphs; sometimes it’s a lot of establishing and internalizing for characters that I enjoy exploring too! Don’t feel that you have to match letter counts or length. You write what you want and if we don’t feel it then there is no hard feelings.

Starters.

If they’re tagged as an open thread, please feel free. If it’s open to mutuals only, please respect it. If you want to interact and you want something along that plot; Message me. You’ll be much better received this way than you will be if you insert yourself into threads not meant for you. Closed starters are strictly meant for those my partner(s) and I have tagged. If we bring some one else in, it is not an invitation to slide in like a Stop Light Bar.

Ask threads/Separated Open Starters

If it’s a thread that you are continuing with me, please don’t hesitate to start a separate thread with it! I’ll appreciate it, and believe me, so will you; no dealing with other threads that might stem from it, no dealing with the likes of acknowledgement from the rest of the rp community, and a much neater, easier to use posting format.

Are you posting an open starter? ahhh.... I might... have to message you. I’m quite anxious that people are overwhelmed with threads so I will likely message you regarding it first. If you are overwhelmed, tell me. I do not take offense. We can plot when you have time and if you feel it. I promise I’m not ignoring your starters; I’m just very anxious. If there is something that you would like to plot please just tag me randomly or DM me! I will do my best to reciprocate this as well! I just need time; I’m anxious and sometimes it counterbalances my meds and I’m more ‘FLEE’ than I am ‘BREATHE’.

TRIGGERS/WARNINGS/READ MORES

Triggers; I have none. I really dislike slamming a random thing into an established thread, but I’m not against it in most aspects. What do I mean by this? Please don’t have a cute thread going with me and then BAM CHAR A IS NOW RAGING ANGRY THAT CHAR B IS DOING THIS THING WE NEVER ESTABLISHED HAPPEN. Now if Char A is angry because Char B said something offensive (meant or not) and Char A lands a punch on B; then, Yes. I do not mind this. If you leave an action open, I will use my discretion whether or not it lands (Keep in mind I do love seeing how androids in distress will behave on any/given terms). If I leave an action open to your discretion of being hit or dodging, please do not JUST dodge it every time. I’m trying to give you the option of progressing a fight, not feed you pudding through a straw. As far as violence, gore, etc; I do not mind it. If it gets too gory, we will use RMs or fade it. If it’s too kinky then I will tag and possibly read more it. It all depends on it’s severity and the warning.

Warnings for me are often forgotten; it’s not out of disrespect but because I DO forget. I have lots of things I need to study and RP wise, recalling a hundred and eighty four details is not exactly a priority. It’s not that you’re not important as a partner; it’s that I can fix it if you bring it up with me and we’re adults. I will do my best but please, understand, sometimes I need reminding.

Read mores I forget more often than not, if I use them at all. xkit has a blacklist function. Please use it as it’s more reliable than I am if sex/etc offends you (though if it does I’m not sure what is compelling you this far into my blog). If my partner uses/requests them, I can often remember since they will likely be using them as well, but if I’m using them for a sole reason of this trigger then I’ll likely forget.

Late replies/Slow Replies/Ignored Replies

As a general rule I will do my best to respond to threads as often as my time constraints give me, but that also relies on how me or Connor responds to the thread/the topic/muse. Late replies will likely happen as I’m quite slow at times. If I respond to thread A three or four more times before I respond to thread B, it’s just because I feel thread A more. It doesn’t mean that I dislike our thread, it’s just based on what Connor is willing to do as a muse at that moment. If it feels like I’m ignoring your reply; has it been a few days? You can prod me if I’m responding regularly and come off like I’ve gotten through most of my threads, but if it’s been a week or two please prod me. I might not have seen it, or have forgotten about it. Do not, however, ask me why I respond to Thread C more than that thread, guilt me, try to manipulate me or get short with me. I’m here to have fun, not as a compulsive demand. I am a human just like you and sometimes life just happens to overwhelm me more often than you or the next person. Thank you for understanding, though!

Magic Anons/Topic Suggestions/Anon

MA will be accepted most days, but please give me a time frame for it or I will assume it as three days MY time, or if it is something that I don’t see taking a significant amount of time X amount of hours that I’ll choose myself. IE MA!Connors a real boy. No time? I’ll select for you. Connor as a real boy would be lovely, so I would likely suggest three days. MA!Connor is stuck in his suit for a week! A week? That’s insanely long, I will take liberty and shorten the time to a few days, or I’ll just override it/ignore it. Topic suggestions are adorable and sometimes quite interactive and fun! You get content you like, I get a topic to try with my partner(s) and every one wins! Maybe a few people don’t but that, again, is what xkit is for. Anons will be interacted with as Civilians or generic Androids. Regularly visiting Anons will be named and respectively tagged to the best of my ability. Any anon hate, call out anons, gate keeper anons, fussing anons will be just ignored. No skin off my back, none off of Connors, and even less off of the rest of my follower base. If Anons are inboxing for critique or an opinion asked for- then I’m happy to respond or even read them, I may post them, I might not. It is all up to me. It’s my blog, my Connor and if you dislike him, why is you here? It’s not meant to sound rude, but there are many of us out there, find some one that makes you happy.

Discord/IMs

Strictly for Mutuals or for those I would like to interact more with! If I’m actively giving it to you- I’m excited, please feel free to take it or don’t. If You want it, ask, but understand that I might decline or I may accept it. Please don’t pressure me. I would never pressure you.

Duplicates

Hello other Connors and RK800s alike! You’re welcome here. I’m not here to compete and monopolize; you will each have your own universe with CyberLifeFortune, unless you state with me otherwise. Your worlds will not cross with other RK800/Connors unless we establish. I welcome each of you!

Cross Overs

Please yes! But please, lets figure it out first! Who has the master realm? Are we smashing them together? Making a whole new world? What are we doing, friendo? Lets talk!

OCS

Hello! It’s a hit or miss with me! I prefer fleshed out characters with their own sets of flaws, ups, downs, perfections and quirks. Things that will quickly turn me off of a character, please respect that this is only personal preferences, are inserts, selfserts, Sues, confusing characters, drama/tragic types (IE whole family dead. Became a ninja, almost died of abuse, saved by a four legged fox with 72 tails that died shortly after training. Turns out they were kami status legend and this char is taking their place but no one believes in them so they are dying and doki doki club literature inspired their life). Fun parody characters are well received too! Hi there Sumo Rpers, Super minor cameo androids and/or Officer Wilson (Sweet Cop saved on the rooftop in Mission one)

Shipping

I do not do autoships unless we discuss it. I refuse to continue a thread in which some one is forcing a relationship or has inserted themselves into Connors life. He does not have children, he doesn’t have ‘file’ children (Like the child Cortana makes in Halo), Connor doesn’t have adopted children he doesn’t know about. If you want to autoship please talk to me. If you want it enough you’ll prod me! Think of it this way; we can scream about it together and yell about it as long as we want and then we totally get to do it if we’re both in agreement!

I have no real preference to who/what Connor does. Likely if they exist in the game I’m down to ship them (this includes Rk900s, Gavins, Hanks, etc). I’m purely curious to see what this muse clicks with. I have every right to say no as much as you do. Keep in mind that unless we establish it I play him with his genitalia but he will not be a Traci type. He is and always will be RK800 model.

If you would like to write the raunchy; yes. If you’d like to fade to black; yes. Do you want them to be suggestive? Sure. Kinks? Name it- I’ll try it. I refuse scat and vomit. Like. Hard nopes. Both make my skin crawl and I just get squeamish in those regards. You do you, but I would appreciate not those two please and thank you; much appreciated.

#Model; RK800CLF User Manual

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justanearth-boundmisfit · 6 years ago

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1/3 Wtf is this final? Chuck was a lazy ass and a dickhead who left psychotic angels with some stupid prophecy about Michael and Lucifer fighting, but he was never evil! He locked Lucifer in the cage because MoC corrupted him and he was dangerous to humans. He locked leviathans for the same reasons. And now tptb want me to believe he's suddenly evil? He's not lawful good, but he's not evil either. Irresponsible, yes, but not evil, for fuck sake! This twist doesn't make any sense.

2/3 People are praising it for being surprising, but that’s the point, it’s too suprising! Fans don’t have to predict the plot twist for it to be good, but the clues has to be there, so when people rewatch the season they can find them and feel silly for not noticing them faster. What was clues for Chuck being evil? I mean, I’m sure someone noticed something painted on the wall in some shots or a person dressed like Chuck in the other

3/3 but those are not clues, they’re supposed to be easy to notice in the whole context or without it, and by everyone, not only by delusional metas who see Destiel in a pebble kicked by Dean while walking toward Cas! And what even now? How are we supposed to be afraid of God, when we already know Amara is more powerful? And she’s still good? I mean, she should be. God, I’m so angry at this stupid show! Good thing I still have a good season final, like Gotham one, or good show like B99.

Hi Joanna, fair warning this got REALLY long, sorry (cringe), it goes under the cut for that reason:

It feels terribly cheap right? Also, what I never really liked about spn is that they HAVE to have a cliffhanger or a twist in every season finale to shock audiences and bait them to keep coming. A story doesn’t always need a twist at the end, more so if it’s well written, imagine every tv show/movie having a twist ending. It would be boring af, that’s what happened to M. Night Shyamalan for example. We all loved 6th Sense, but he kept coming back with movies that only relied on the “twist” without concentrating on the whole story first and foremost and people got tired of his tricks. And that’s exactly what is happening with spn, although on another level of production of course. It’s a show that only can deliver shock, angst, death and twist! Without the care of preparing the story for those things. It just doesn’t work imo.

But fandom is used to that, and the majority keep coming back for more of the same old same old. Even if it just a cheap trick, or even, like in this case, doesn’t make sense AT ALL. Spn fandom it’s just loyal to a fault, and also the bait from tptb is extreme, they are always promising something that they are never going to deliver, it’s the best example of the carrot at the end of the stick.

For some tv shows/movies you have to apply the suspension of disbelief for them to be enjoyable. I apply it to tons of superheroes movies for example, because if I’m going to be incredible analytical about them, well, nothing is going to make sense and just why bother right? In the case of spn we have to apply the same method all the time, BUT, some things just can’t be ignored. Why? Well because even the easiest plots to follow don’t make sense. You have to have a base storyline to follow, a central arc that in the end, makes sense and leaves you with a sort of satisfied feeling. If even the central arc, the most important storylines, or even the myths of the show don’t make sense from one season to another, we lost really important parts of the plot along the way. And it starts to feel cheap and just plain WRONG. That’s what happened to spn, imo.

I just watched a video of people talking about the whole MCU and how we arrived to Endgame (no worries not going to talk about any spoilers), and it’s really easy, even for the people that are not that much into the MCU, to see how well crafted the whole journey was. It’s not an easy task of course, and there are mistakes along the way, but you really can see the care for the core story and how they departed from point a, to arrive to point z, and it feels really well done. What I mean is: it CAN be done. Not only by MCU, GOT also is doing this, again with mistakes, but you can feel that they were paying attention, in some cases, even to minimal details.

Back to spn, it’s painful to see how the show doesn’t pay attention to what came before, and how much they just don’t care. And it’s utterly obvious with this finale. Yeah it’s surprising, yeah most of the people didn’t see it coming, yeah it’s another shocking reveal… BUT where does it leave the central storylines and myths? Is it worth it in the end, to have a “twist” that erases and/or changes not only last season, but YEARS of story telling? My bet is on NO. But I’m in the minority here. I bet metas are going to write tons of posts saying how DUMB people that didn’t see this coming are. How they only know how to read the narrative, and the people that complain about spn is just stupid and don’t even understand the basics of story telling. Whatever they can keep writing their lies trying to convince themselves that destiel (the pebble “subtext” made me laugh tons ^^) still exists and how amazing Dabb’s era is.

But the truth is that it just.doesn’t.make.sense. I already said it in one of my many venting in the tags: God being this writer that has manipulated the bros (and Cas) storyline since forever, doesn’t make sense! It erases years of plot and core arcs and myths… also for the trope of Evil All Along you have to give your audience some clues, because the real joy is to go back and to see all the little hints that you missed along the way. What hints spn gave us for this forced twist to pay off?. Not one imo. Yes, like you said, Chuck is a douche, he’s not a good God, not a good parent, not a good anything… but the Big Bad Villain? Of ALL THE STORY ALL THIS TIME? Can’t see it sorry, it feels forced, it feels cheap, it feels poorly constructed. And it has been done before too with Metatron! I mean…it’s cheap AND recycled.

Like I said in tags too, it also feels like All Just a Dream trope, one of the worst things you can do to your audience, because everything that you thought was real, now suddenly changes because the writers need a sudden surprising twist (see also Writer on Board). It’s an utter mess, a low way to trick audiences, but coming from that writers’ room I shouldn’t be surprised at all.

This doesn’t bode well for season 15 imo, God being this super villain, how long is it going to last? Because the final season should be about wrapping up personal story lines, not about another incredible hard to beat big bad, that in the end is killed/vanished by one of the bros being all powerful a la Dragon Ball.

Horrible writing, horrible treatment of the characters (of ALL of them not only Cas, what they did to Mary is horrible too), cheesy self insert, plots that make no sense, that’s what spn is going out with. It’s terrible sad that a show with so much potential is entering its final season on such a low note.

Sorry it got long af as usual, or more than usual really. But can’t shut up about this horrible mess.

Hugs darling!

Ps: was going to tag this but it got too long. Somebody just msg me saying that Chuck was never presented as s whole good pure God. And I agree. But he was never presented as a whole evil God either. Capricious? yes. Lazy? yes, likes to play with people? Yes (the same could be said about Gabriel for example, was he evil? I don’t think so, the show was always sympathetic towards him). But to make him the BIG BAD all of a sudden? Nah, the show never hinted at him being a character that could open the gates of hell just to have his way. Metas can write tons of essays about occultism, religion and God in western culture, Sorry not buying. Metas can also have all the readings they want, it’s sad that they can’t get down of their high horses to start respecting other points of view…

#nigaki #rant of rants #venting #replies #ranty replies #it got long #thing is that I don't know if the people praising this finale watch many other shows #because otherwise they would not be clapping that much #when you compare spn with other shows and how much television has changed in the last few years #yikes!#spn doesn't really have anything to offer anymore #less so with the people behind it #what a little bunch of bullshitters #I was hoping that some part of the fandom woke up with the /you're dead to me/#but not even that made them stop wishing for this show to be better #well we are coming to the end #thank all the gods #nothing much left to be hopeful about #what you see is what you get #anti spn #anti dabb #this one tag is for the metas that sometimes read my blog ^^ as usual muah!#don't like don't read #it's under the cut after all #dirt for ts #long post for ts #spn spoilers #I forgot to tag that

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skaylanphear · 6 years ago

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What do you think are some of your biggest flaws/shortcomings as a writer? Like what are things that you're trying to improve upon for yourself or what things do you try to seek out advice from others about? Just curious :)

I mean, I don’t really seek advice because I don’t have anyone to seek advice from. I look to works of writing that I respect and attempt to mimic those things, but–and this is going to sound arrogant and conceited and that’s fine I guess–I’ve never been in a situation where my peers have been on the same level I am. That isn’t to say I’m the best writer in the world, because I’m not, but literally I’ve never been in a place where my peers and even teachers have anything to offer me in the way of helpful criticism. More often than not, I am leaned upon to be one of the few people that are able to edit and critique someone else’s work and actually be useful.

When I would submit stories for review, my profs would either, one, give me 100%s, which is silly because I did not deserve that, or tell me they have nothing to say because it’s “so good.” And if I sound irritated by this attitude, I am. I have grad students telling me my work is so good they can’t give me critique, yet my advisor won’t let me take graduate level classes despite the fact that I am utterly wasted with my peers, who do little more than write stories for class because they’re required and not because they bother to practice their craft everyday. And they consider themselves “writers.”

So no, I very rarely seek out advice because it has been a very useless endeavor a good majority of the time.

It has, however, taught me to be very self-reflective and progressive in my own attempts to learn and improve. I go out of my way to improve myself when I feel I am lacking, which is something a lot of writers apparently don’t do? I mean, if I were to be honestly critical, I’d tell you that everything I do is sub-par, because I know from experience that if I work hard enough, I can always come up with something better. I go in to edit a piece having already accepted that I could likely re-write the entire thing and it’d be done better, but only the fact that I can’t do that my whole life and hope to be successful stops me from doing so.

As far as specifics? It depends on the piece and what my focus is, really. Writing isn’t so much a game of what is best so much as it is picking what’s best for the story you’re trying to tell. My aptitude for writing overly emotional scenes might be well-suited to a story about relationships, but is only going to drag in a fantasy adventure story, where each scenes needs to serve as something to pull the story forward. Part of the mark of a good writer is being able to utilize different strategies for different scenes. It’s why my writing style will vary vastly from a romantic scene to an action scene. This isn’t a fault, it’s a purposeful change in tone.

But I’m not here to give advice, despite how I am used to doing so. As far as technical things I know I can improve on, I tend to put too many tags in dialogue, which I have been working on remedying for the last year or more. I also tend to focus far too much on eyebrows and facial expressions, which is a hold-over fanfiction habit that I am ruthlessly trying to break myself of, because me saying a character looks curious does not then require me to tell you how furrowed their eyebrows are–if a character looks curious, most people are more than capable of imagining what that looks like. I also tend to have too many one-sentence paragraphs, which harken back to my fondness for emotional melodrama. I’ve also gotten really lazy about describing locations, which is another bad habit picked up in fanfiction, as it is rare that description is required at all in fanfic. But it makes me all the more proud when I do a description of a place that I really enjoy reading, because it reminds me how much it can add to a story. What other annoying things do I do? I have a few words that I repeat too often, but every writer goes through that and there will always be words I get into the habit of using that I then have to break myself of, only for others to take their place anew. That’s what editing is for I guess. What else do I do? I dunno, there are a lot of things I do that are shitty. I’m sure there are plenty more.

But I get the feeling you’re looking for something more… vast? Like me coming in and saying, oh I’m bad at dialogue, or romance, or character building. But I don’t think I’m really very bad at any of that, as I work very hard to make sure that I’m not butchering any concept I’m going to write about? Like, if I’m writing a romance, I go out of my way to make sure that romance is well-executed by looking at examples of what good romance looks like. Like, I do research and seek out sources and references. And I also practice a lot. And I’m a boss at dialogue when I get my tagging reeled in, so that one is a moot point ;D

I mean, maybe I’m a bit long-winded? But… I like reading long things, so I guess that fault is up for debate and varies from person to person. I think maybe I get a little repetitive in concept–as in repeating the same things every couple of chapters because I’m afraid the reader won’t remember. So I guess I do ask about that, as I will ask my family when they read my novel to tell me if there are certain ideas that get repeated too often or if they need those reminders. But that’s still up in the air so… *shrugs*

I… am really bad at introducing minor character appropriately, which I again blame on fanfiction. And by minor characters, I mean things like pets. When you write fanfic, you can introduce these characters without explanation, which means I now have horses in my novel that go through half of it with no names and then suddenly they have names and I have not figured out an appropriate time to introduce their name formally into the narrative.

A lot of the issues I guess I’m working on stem from separating fanfic practices from writing original pieces. Fanfic has it’s positives, don’t get me wrong. I could write essays on the benefits of fanfic. But it does have a few quirks specific to its form that I now have to combat, hence my uncertainty about whether I’m elaborating on an idea too repetitively or not. In fanfic, that’s not an issue you normally have to deal with, as the writer is usually dealing with themes already apparent in the canon.

I guess fanfic is my biggest weakness. At least as far as writing original stuff, lol. Funny though, it doesn’t work the other way around. I tackle writing fanfic the way I do original work and I get twice as much praise. Which basically tells me that fanfic shortcomings boil down to laziness the community has just… accepted.

I’m lazy. My writing has become lazy. Almost all my fanfic is lazy, even Serendipitous Fate to a certain extent. You’d probably all be shocked to read my original novel and all the detail and precision that comes with it, lol.

Anyway, hope that answers your questions!

#skaylanphear replies #anonymous

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battlestar-royco · 6 years ago

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Yo I'm not really a star wars fan and I havent seem the recent ones, but I was wondering what makes Reylo a problematic ship since I have been seeing so many people hating it and so many other people loving it.

Disclaimer: I’m not really a SW fan either, I only watched the OT once like 2 years ago and found it okay. I despise the prequels to the point where I can’t even hate-watch them, except maybe ROTS. Indifferent to R1, not going to watch S0lo. But I enjoyed The F.orce Awakens (the 2015 one) and I’m neutral/critical to The L.ast J.edi (2017). I don’t really know much about SW lore, characters, and fandom. If you look in the anti R.ey.lo tag, I’m sure you’ll find plenty of detailed analysis on the ship and why people take issue with it. Also, spoilers for the ST movies.

The main reasons why people dislike R***o (censoring it so I don’t get attacked by their fans like yesterday) as far as I can tell, are 1. because of the abusive nature of the ship, 2. other ships, 3. R***os are super invasive across every fandom, and 4. there are literally hundreds of receipts of R***os being blatantly racist.

1. Kyle Ron is 29 (meanwhile R/ey is 19) and has murdered his father and other innocents, tried to maim the main characters, and committed/was complicit in genocide by blowing up an entire planet. He made those decisions by himself as an adult, and yet his fans try to act like it either wasn’t his fault or that he didn’t do any of it. In T/FA, Kyle knocked R/ey out and kidnapped her, cuffed her to a chair, and tried to use the Force to forcibly probe her mind to the point where she was crying. JJ Abrams has said that the scene was meant to be metaphorical for torture and rape. I think that’s the scene where R***o sparked for many shippers, because of the lighting and framing and subtle acting, and it’s the first scene we see Kyle’s face and hear his actual voice. The scene itself is very well done so I can see why people liked the chemistry in it, but the issue is that the vast majority of R***os act like it’s the epic romance of our time and it’s a completely healthy ship.

2. A lot of ST fans are really fond of F.innr.ey. There’s some great writing on this site and others about how R***os basically take F/inn’s characterization and project it onto Kyle to make him seem less evil, and the racist implications of that. F/inn is the first characterized stormtrooper and he’s the first black lead in a SW movie. His T/FA arc is about him rejecting the First Order teachings and choosing to leave them so he can join the Resistance and make the galaxy a better place. Some R***os find him “boring” and think he “obsesses” over R/ey, and yet they have their own headcanon about how Kyle is truly a tortured abused soul who has been trying to get out of the FO since before the story began. They are convinced that R***o is canon, when there is no confirmation of any ship besides F.innr.ose. There is no evidence in either movie of Kyle being abused, and he is literally a leading figure in the FO throughout T/FA and T/LJ.

3. R***os and R***o content seriously show up in dozens of other tags for characters and fandoms that have nothing to do with them. It’s fine for R***os to ship it in their own space but R/ey’s tag is basically only R***o. It’s really annoying to see random R***o shit in Beauty and the Beast, Pride and Prejudice, Jane Eyre, Disney, Game of Thrones, every single tag for a SW character, I could go on. There are a bunch of essays on this site written by R***os explaining how anyone who doesn’t ship them is a dumbass who has no idea how to analyze film and media, and that R/ey is basically a baby machine for Kyle, and R***os viciously comment on posts where no one was even talking about them or their ship.

4. R***os (not all of them, but maybe a loud minority?) are infamous for sending antis and F.innr.ey shippers messages, comments, and anons saying that they’re stupid, their ship is not canon, calling F/inn the n word, comparing him to animals and slaves, calling P/oe and R/ose other horrible triggering slurs, saying that Kyle is more attractive than F/inn because he has light skin and a straight nose, stereotyping F/inn and P/oe as flirty and covetous, hoping that the POC die so Kyle and R/ey can take over, etc. Just look into the racism tags in diversehighfantasy and actualreyofsunshine and other antis, and you’ll see.

#anti reylo

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asreoninfusion · 7 years ago

Note

ALL THAT IS IS SO FRICKEN CUTE I LOVE IT. TELL ME MORE!! :D I WANT TO HAVE A FULL REPORT! XDD!!

Ahahahaha, okay. I’ll do one big explanation of everything that went down for you guys (as much as I can, I tried explaining it to my mum and she was very confused) and then I think it’ll be time for me to call it a day and stop harping on about the show stuff in general. ^^;;

I do apologise for this slight deviation in content, we’ll be returning to your regularly scheduled FFVII blogging shortly. And I’ll keep all the youtube-related stuff on the sideblog I created just for that purpose, I don’t know why I’m so bad at keeping things where they’re meant to be.

Also this will probably get super long, so under the cut we go. (Also beware spoilers for the Markiplier show!!! If anyone’s worried about that.)

Hoo boy. Okay. Where do we start, howmuch detail do you want? xD Are we talking just the going on stage part all thewhole evening?

(I’m going to go for mainly just the on stage part because I’ve left it very late alreadyfor answering this and I need to sleep. >>)

But!! The day was pretty hectic cause Ihad 9am to 2pm straight lectures and labs, and then took a taxi straight to thestation and left for Nottingham then, which meant I had to do my lab in mypoofy dress. xD So that was amusing to start with.

Got to Nottingham, checked into my hotel(such a sweet glory to have a proper hotel room all to myself compared to thehostel I had for Manchester, aaahh), then went pretty much straight to thevenue from there after dumping all my stuff.

I was weak and bought too much merch. I’dalready bought one of the beanies in London, so I thought this time I’d justbuy a sticker set and some badges, that’s pretty cheap right? Well, yes. Thosewere. Until I stood in the queue for too long looking at the merch and beingmore and more tempted by one of the hoodies. I didn’t buy it originally, butthen I gave in and went back for it because I have no self-control lol.

There was the VIP section! Mark’s beenill for like, most of the tour thus far, and for a while his voice was totallygone. Poor dude. Normally he sings in the VIP section, and he did most of hissongs for the Nottingham one. I posted a video of a section of one!! There wereone or two songs he didn’t do because his range wasn’t back up to 100% justyet, but that just meant we got a bit longer for Q&A stuff.

(Uuugh every time I see how far he’s comemusically it reminds me how much I love singing to myself and writing dumbsongs and I want to do things too. ;^; It was a fit of inspiration afterwatching Mark before that led to me buying my whole mic set up I have.)

So then there’s a break between the VIPpre-show and the main show while everyone else comes in and I hung aroundsinging obnoxiously to myself the whole time because Mark put in the mood forsinging oops.

Then the main show!! The way the show is structured is that it’sthe same games and stuff each time, but there’s three different themes thatthey can go with for the show, and the theme is determined at the start. Themethod of determination is that there’s cases you have to pick from, kind of like a deal or nodeal style. Mark and Bob chose a case each (marking their choices with a redor green sticky respectively), and then the audience had to decide who theyagree with via the application of these coloured paddles they give out wheneveryone’s entering the theatre; hold up the colour you want to vote for. Butthe boys are cheaty mc cheatfaces and will never go with what the audiencewants. xD They have to pick one person out of the audience to make the finaldecision. (That was me!!!)

Also the final decision is made by stabbingthe holder of the case you don’t want with a foam sword.

(We got the horror theme for theNottingham show. :D)

I chose Bob’s box and didn’t stab Tyler,so I got to sneak in a hug from him for that. x3 But I also got put in thepunishment corner for not listening to Mark (not complaining 👀). Regardless of the decision, the gag is that Bob decides totry and take over the show anyway by kidnapping Tyler. Ethan and Wade came inas the inept henchmen dressed in ridiculous costumes, and then it was Mark andI, armed with swords, against the others in a stupid slowmo staged sword fightand honestly idek it was the most fucking surreal thing I’ve ever done in my life.

(I found this photo on Twitter!! Creditto Craig Frewey for it.)

So that was how I ended up having a veryone-sided swordfight with a shark??? xD

Man, I hope there’s video of this becauseit’s REALLY HARD TO EXPLAIN WTF WAS EVEN HAPPENING.

Anyway, I rescued Tyler! But while I wasbusy slaying the shark and stealing the golden key of rescue, Bob went and tookMark hostage instead and then I had to choose between saving Tyler or savingMark. Like goddamn, stop giving me so many impossible choices. D:

I may have eeny meeny miny mo’d it.

(But tbh I did kind of want to save Markmore anyway I’m so sorry Tyler but if I had to pick a favourite…… anyway, Iscrewed Mark over earlier not choosing his case, so making it even? xD)

Also look at this fucking pouty babytrying to make me feel bad and convince me to save him.

(Photo from this photoset here, credit to @giggles3475!)

You deserve only to be saved by atechnicality of eeny meeny miny mo, sir.

Anyway, since I saved Mark, I got to goon a ‘date’ with him; got invited for a candlelit dinner loooool. This is theonly date my aroace ass will accept, I’m good for life now. xD

((One day I want to have thisconversation:Someone: You’ve never had a relationship?You’ve never dated? :0Me: Well there was this one time I had a fakestage date with Markiplier…))

Anywho, the point of that is that it’s anopportunity for Mark to ask a bunch of questions(or Tyler in other cases if the poor sod who gets calledup to take part in this ridiculousness saves Tyler instead), because the next part of the show is that they make an improvisedmusical about that person’s life! ….and I have a fuckin’ weird life.

So Mark started asking me questions aboutwhat I did and stuff, what my poofy dress was all about (‘cause I’d dressed upin my pretty Lolita dress just because why not I never get the chance to dressup), it was all relatively normal at first.

Oh, and Mark asked me if I was seeing theshow with friends or family or anyone; I was just like “nope, I’m here alonelike a sad loser!” and apparently that’s the line that people liked ‘cause I’veseen it quoted somewhere in the tags and in the discord server I’m on inseparate incidences. xD (Mark’s reply was a highly cheerful “alone like a sadloser? Me too!” bless him.)

So it started off normal but then oncethe crocodiles came up… that just got even more surreal, ahahaha. I bet Mark’snever heard that one before. And I did the ‘born in England, moved toAustralia, moved back to England, moved to Australia, back to England again,and then we were in India for a while too…’ spiel that is the quickest way Ican summarise all the back and forth we’ve done. That got brought up in a song.In the most ridiculous way possible fuckin’ honestlyI was just crying over in my corner.

Tiny snippet of that:https://twitter.com/LilyRooney31/status/966821044739854336

And then my poor dear sister, I said shewas my favourite ‘cause she’s cute, she got a skit about her and somehow itended up in a song about pants??? xD Also my mum is apparently now a spy. Thesethings just happen.

There’s a bunch of footage starting fromthe end of the first musical bit and the whole of the second part here: https://www.pscp.tv/w/1djxXdaZXmjxZ

(In the very last few seconds of thatvideo in the side of the screen there’s a me!! I got to hug Mark!!)

I’m slightly worried though that everyonein the audience might think I was bullshitting about a lot of the stuff I said,like I was making stuff up to try and make myself seem cooler?? ‘Cause who the fuckhas crocodiles?? Apart from my freakin’ family. Honestly if I was gonna lie Iwould’ve made it more believable. xD

So, yeah!!! That was what I got to do onstage. I don’t think I embarrassed myself hideously at any point, probably someminor awkwards but I got through it okay. I’m just absolutely fucking kickingmyself now that I had the opportunity rightthere, but I was so worried about not messing it up and like, ‘performing’for the audience that I was hardly paying attention to Mark. There was just. Alot happening. @_@ I feel like I barely even looked him in the eye throughoutit ‘cause I was like what the fuck do I focus on should I try to talk to theaudience so they can see what’s happening? (‘Cause during the sitting downtalking thing if I’d turned to look at Mark properly my back would’ve beentowards the audience, and that seemed rude to them then, so I ended up with akind of sideways thing looking at neither. orz) I feel like I was up there onstage with Mark, but I never talked tohim, if that makes sense?

I really want to find more videos andphotos of my part because it’s still so surreal I’m like wait what did thateven really happen??? I did give my email address to someone who said they hadvideo of the date section so I’m really looking forward to that, and I knowsomeone else has photos, so it should be all good on that front! I needevidence that it wasn’t all just a weird fever dream. I mean. I did have aswordfight with a shark so the fever dream thing is always a possibility.

But anyway. xD That was only the firstpart of the whole show!! I’ve already written and entire damn essay trying toexplain how things went down, so I’m not going to expand on all the otherimprov games they played, but it was a really good time watching the rest of ittoo, and then hanging with people outside, and getting Taco Bell on the wayback to the hotel.

I did not get nearly enough sleep becausehow the heck could I sleep after that I was too pumped, I didn’t fall asleepuntil like three in the morning. And now it’s 1am again ‘cause I spent waaaaaytoo long typing this up, and I reallyneed the sleep, so.

If anyone actually read all that, Isalute you, and also dear god what are you doing with your life.

Lol, but thanks for asking about itAisha! :D

#rp-sephiroth #personal dumbassery #adventures in real life #the tale of that time i had a fake stage date with markiplier #xD #oh man but it was a good time #fuckin' surreal #but a good time #now to the goddamn sleep @_@

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intersectionalityessay416 · 4 years ago

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demos-cloud · 7 years ago

Text

I got tagged. It’s been a while. ‘ v’)

Tagged by: @96percentdone

Rules: 1. Post the rules. 2. Answer the questions given to you by the tagger. 3. Write 11 questions of your own. 4. And tag 11 people.

Why 11.

1. A thing you always quote for no good reason? Lately I’ve been imitating Ouma’s 「だよね〜？」 a lot thanks to Andrea. Does... Does that count...? ‘ v’);;; Mmm... There’s also “slow progress is still progress” which I tend to say a lot, though I don’t recall who the speaker was.

2. What’s your absolute favourite character as of right now? C-Coughs. Right now, I’m really fond of Kokichi Ouma (NDRV3), both himself pre-game, and during the killing game. Yuri (Doki Doki Literature Club), too, is quite an endearing character. Of course, Kyouko Kirigiri (Dangan Ronpa) will always remain my waifu! She’s super cool! Super amazing! ヽ(>∀<☆)ノ

3. Your least favourite ship as of right now? I’m usually pretty neutral/impartial to pairings I dislike. But, I absolutely, absolutely detest Eve x Add (Elsword) and have and will continue to write essays on why it is a toxic relationship with no remote traces of positive feelings from either party.

Continuing on the NDRV3 trend though (aha), I’m not particularly fond of... ... ...In the middle of typing this, I realize that I’m not fond of any Ouma ship, with the exception of Ouma x Saihara. Sits. I’ve seen some really nice artwork for Oumeno and Mecha Hitler Kiibouma, though it’s. Odd. I’m not sure. It doesn’t make sense to me, personally. Also I feel like I might be a bit too attached to pre-game Saiouma, ahaha--

4. A video game/show/movie/etc you’d throw into the trash and replace with your own version? Dangan Ronpa 3 Side: Future/Hope. I’m still lowkey salty about Kyouko surviving.

As cool as J.U.’s artwork is, I really miss Neko Kreuz’s artwork for “The Legend of Sun Knight”. It was really nice seeing her change and improve her style to match the story, with each passing volume, and I feel that her designs for the holy knights are the best out of all of them.

I also didn’t like the sudden sex scene in “Altar of Bones”. It seemed really out of place and didn’t serve any purpose in terms of story progression. I understand it was a young adult novel with a heavy romance plot, but it just ruined the flow of the scene and huff, puff.

5. The pettiest reason you’ve ever unfollowed someone? I can’t think of any that could be considered a “petty reason”... I suppose the closest (?) would be when some classmates and I exchanged Tumblrs, but we didn’t share any interests so I unfollowed them.

6. That one fandom you regret everything about and yet you’re still involved in? Elsword. , _ `

7. The weirdest thing you’ve read about? In grade 11, I read a research paper on the application of game theory (math) as a means of confirming the possible locations and angles resulting in J.F. Kennedy’s assassination. It was really strange.

8. Why is coming up with questions so difficult? Perhaps because you don’t have a starting point? In comparison to answering questions, aha.

9. When did you join this hellsite? According to my blog archives, I joined sometime in May of 2013. Whew.

10. Your favourite number in the range of 21-32? (if you’re wondering what this question is, I DON’T KNOW). If I had to pick one, probably 26?

11. If you were allowed to fight one content creator without consequence, who would you pick? On one hand, Rozen is a fragile child who can barely do two pushups without collapsing out of breath. On the other hand, I will rekt all the content creators, come! (9 ‘ ^’)9

And then, eleven people to tag... Let’s do~: @ryoko // @katxfish // @iron-kida // @neospice12 // @neophix // @gonrhyn // @rnalomart // @n3muu // @xilliaspirit // @pagepyralis // @saltyspaceninja !

Regardless if it physically exists or not, is there a particular place you want to visit right now?

What is your secret to not falling asleep every three seconds.

What is something you would consider a minor trait/detail, that you’re proud of? I enjoy not having to deal with much bedhead despite having long hair, for example!

When the path branches to the left and right, which way do you frequently find yourself choosing to go?

Is there a character that’s been on your mind lately - and not for a good reason?

On nights when you can’t fall asleep, what do you find yourself doing to pass the time?

What is a memory you’re particularly fond of?

What is your stance on the occult as a whole?

Is there a song you enjoy listening to, no matter how many times you’ve heard it?

Okay! Describe Rozen in three words~! You can do this right? Right?

Do you consider yourself more of a fruits or vegetables person?

#Tag Meme #96percentdone #Rolls off to sleep before Andrea finds out I'm still awake and begins to nag at me.

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garden-of-succulents · 7 years ago

Text

I've taken some time to think over and process recent criticisms that people have made of me. Thank you to everyone for being patient while I took this time to reflect--I think that a brief review of my behaviour in the past has shown that I often respond poorly and clumsily in the heat of the moment, and these conversations benefit when I give them the thought and effort they deserve.

I am responding to people whose direct responses to me, or public commentary, seemed to indicate they wanted some sort of response from me. I hope I've addressed everyone; please let me know if I've missed anyone. I have also, as was requested, cleared out my OMGCP-related blocklist.

Briefly, about that: I have, in the past, blocked people for two main reasons. The first is that they're producing fannish content (fic, art, or meta) that triggers my anxiety, which my body reacts very poorly to; the other is that I have disagreed with them about something, but know that they are significantly younger/less privileged than I am, and blocking is one of the tools I use to make sure I don't impulsively strike up an unfair argument about something unimportant.

I would like to apologize for the distress and insult my blocking users caused them; it was not intended. I have been investigating ways to curate my online experience to what I can manage with mental health that varies from day to day, with less of a negative effect on other people and maintains their ability to draw my attention to important conversations.

Although I believe listening to criticism is important, especially on topics where I am privileged or ignorant, this is something I have to balance with my mental and physical health; I have to carefully budget time and energy to engage with it when I am capable of thinking clearly and deeply. Sometimes I'm able to seek out and read criticism, but sometimes I'm not. I miss conversations or misunderstand peoples' points. I know this is frustrating to people who do not have the luxury of ignoring or escaping these issues in their daily lives, and I'm sorry.

On a practical note, I am taking pains to make sure that people can contact me through my des-zimbits account, but I should make clear that unfortunately, I cannot accept anon messages and I am very unpredictable about seeing things written on blogs I do not follow; my friends are not in the habit of telling me about criticism made by third parties. There have been times that I only found out long after the fact that someone has put enormous amounts of time and energy into critiquing my behaviour on their blog, and become upset that I have not responded or changed. In those circumstances, I never saw the original posts in the first place. I don't have a complete solution for this, but I encourage people to tag me or message me a post they think I should see; if you don't want to deal with me thereafter, just say, "Don't reply."

I am making this apology not in hope that anyone will change their opinion of me or forgive me. I know that people of colour in this fandom are frustrated by white fans' inability to listen and respond in a way that makes things better, and I know that my own behaviour has contributed to that. My sincere desire here is to make it plain that I am willing to listen and try, and perhaps even make other fans feel that they can directly approach me with their frustrations and concerns.

I am beyond grateful to the fans of colour who have expended energy and time educating me, criticizing me, talking to me, and helping me. Your willingness to be open about your feelings and experiences, and to speak truth to power, have been unspeakably helpful in helping me see my blind spots, and understand the effect my behaviour has on other people. I know that it takes a lot of energy and courage it takes to speak about such a painful and infuriating subject. I want to thank the people who, despite my resistance at times, continue to engage me in these issues. Your feedback is valuable and appreciated.

@dexydex and @georgiapeche, re: this post

You’re right, I haven’t been responding correctly to your criticism. I’ve taken it too personally instead of taking a step back to consider your perspectives in a more nuanced and empathetic way. Thank you for all of the emotional labor you’ve expended up until this point trying to get through to me. I’m sorry that I’ve made it your responsibility to teach me what I’m doing wrong rather than go out and learn for myself. I’ve been complacent in the ways I’ve interacted with my own privilege. I’m sorry that my apologies have fallen flat time and time again. I’m sorry I haven’t done enough yet to unlearn my implicit racism. This is something I will increase my efforts to address and correct in the future. It is not your job to forgive me. It is not your job to absolve me of any ill will.

phillipsheabutter, re: this post

You're right; Kent's behaviour in canon is cruel and abusive, which Nursey's isn't. My response to them is very backwards the usual responses. I am especially sorry that my answer about him didn't address the word "hate", so I flatly said that I "hated" him, which is a strong and unwarranted negative assessment to make of his behaviour. This was especially wrong of me because the behaviour I was criticizing is a response many Black readers identify with, to the experience of having their emotional responses intensely policed and invalidated. It is a testament of my ignorance and prejudice that I felt this perspective was something I could choose to discard when thinking about him.

As to how I struggle to have empathy for one behaviour but not the other, I can't offer any excuse for my racism, but I can briefly explain: I’ve tried to articulate in the past that Kent’s narrative strongly evokes people and relationships that have been incredibly formative for me, and that I have dedicated years of personal searching and academic study to understanding Kent's kind of extreme behaviour and maintaining relationships with people who display it. My relationship to invalidating behaviour is still too raw and painful to talk about in detail, but in short, it was something I had powerfully negative experiences with when I was young, and as an adult I have found it deeply distressing when it was directed at me; I have embraced a career based around validating emotions. I hadn't yet truly realized the extent to which it is used as a coping mechanism by African Americans--the majority of Black people I have known have been first- or second-generation Canadians hailing from Africa or the Carribean, who have had expressed different cultural and racial experiences to me, and I haven't consumed enough American media to truly understand where Nursey is coming from. I struggle to relate to him as much as I do to characters like Ransom whose cultural experiences and coping mechanisms are more familiar to me.

In equating Nursey to generic white hipsters I encountered this behaviour from, I was erasing his Blackness in favor of pointing to an implied socioeconomic privilege that in no way makes up for or safeguards him from the experiences of being a Black man living in the United States. That wasn’t just wrong of me, it was careless and racist.

There’s a lot to his character that I’ve yet to explore and it was wrong of me to say I hate him when I haven’t done enough work to understand who he is or where he comes from. I'm going to work more to expand my knowledge and find deeper empathy for him.

@oluranurse, re: this post

You’re right, I keep making the same mistakes over again. I can understand how frustrating it feels when a larger blog says repeatedly that they will be different, and better, but the results are disappointing at best. I can only hope that by taking the time to listen, really listen, to your feedback, that someday I won’t have to apologize for my mistakes (because they will few and far apart).

I realize that as someone who doesn't have Borderline Personality Disorder, it is potentially problematic that I am so invested in its fictional depiction, especially given the extreme stigma against the disorder by members of my own profession. As I've explained before, however, it's a condition I've had significant personal experience with, and writing about mental health issues helps me build the skills that may let me someday write coherently about my own C-PTSD. What's more, I am not pulling these conditions out of nowhere or treating them lightly; I'm a licensed mental health professional, and I take a great deal of care to root my mental health headcanons in close analysis of the source material. The diagnoses I suggest for characters are by no means the ultimate truth about them and alternate perceptions of them are wholly plausible

I would like to talk more about your classification of BPD as "a mental illness that fandom likes to give to characters that have 'bad attitudes'," but on a separate occasion where that discussion doesn’t detract from the real conversation we’re having here.

In reference to the disagreement I had with brenbits, I still believe that the way they engaged me could have been more direct, and less heated, from the start. But I respect that other users confront issues they find problematic differently.

In reference to my post about dealing with criticism, I understand that the tone implied something much different than what I intended. I was attempting to be a resource for content creators who feel discouraged by discourse and offer show them how to respond to said criticism in a thoughtful and nuanced way. I realize how ironic that may sound considering some of my past responses. I know that in that post it sounds like I will apologize and defend every microaggression and racist comment that comes my way. That was never the case, but I’m sorry I did such a poor job of articulating that. Times that I have provided this service include helping writers find essays written by members of minorities about common difficulties or pitfalls in depictions of their experiences, or in helping them personally connect with someone who has the cultural competency to assess a situation, and is willing to expend the emotional labour of providing an author with a critique.

With regard to the time that I answered the question, "Are genderbends transphobic?" I shouldn't have answered, given that I am cis. I will make an effort in the future not to summarize trans peoples' opinions, and step back to amplify the voices of trans people who have already made their thoughts accessible.

I feel that the fandom should do more to support content creators and to talk through (especially with younger creators) what they could be doing better in terms of representation. I do understand, however, that doesn’t mean members of the fandom should have to stand for racist and stereotypical content and/or be grateful that it even exists.

You’re right, I’ve been complacent and racist in how I treat POC characters. I need to take a step back, consume more media and academic material related to the experiences of these characters. I need to immerse myself in the positive representations and transformative works this fandom already has for these characters. I need to make these already available transformative works more visible by interacting with them on my blog in ways that are supportive and enriching. I need do more to change my racist thoughts and tendencies because this is a comic made by a WOC that seeks to better minority representation and inclusion in the sports world. I need to be more present in how my behavior affects the experiences of others in this fandom.

I also concede that I do not understand the inherent danger that POC and trans people endure daily. I cannot take your concerns for granted just because I don’t understand them at first. It’s my personal responsibility to seek out information and understanding. I’m also sorry that I have focused more on my personal reaction to criticism rather than on the concerns raised about my behavior. I have many privileges in this fandom, I need to do a better job of utilizing them properly.

@eriquebittle, re: this post

You’re right, my apology focused too much on my feelings and not how my actions have hurt others. I was attempting to start a conversation I wasn’t ready to engage in properly. My apology was lackluster and nothing new at best. As I’m addressing in other posts, I am working on active change. From now on, I'll give the performative white guilt a rest and focus on listening and changing my behaviour.

@senor-lapin, re: this post

I meant what I said about doing my best. However, my apology was neither warranted in the way I handled it nor effective at articulating how I’m taking steps to fix my racist thoughts and actions. As I’ve addressed previously, I have removed the blocks I placed on other members of OMGCP fandom and will work in the future not to exclude them from the discussion. I will listen, research, and reflect for as long as I need to in order to understand my critics. That is the least I owe them.

@duanlarissa, re: this post

I was ineffective in trying to articulate or consider an intersectionality between neurodivergence and racial identity. The way I addressed Nursey and Dex’s relationship was very simplistic and downright racist. There’s a lot of nuance to their relationship that I haven’t begun to explore and shouldn’t have commented on. Nursey has every right to negotiate Dex’s behavior in a way that keeps him both mentally and physically safe.

@onethousandroaches, re: this post

It isn’t worse. You’re right.

In trying to dissect different aspects of his personality, I was not only minimizing his experiences and struggles, but othering and essentializing him. It was racist. I was racist. I need to consider and accept every part of his identity. I need to take a hard look at what I haven’t liked about him in the past, accept that I’ve been narrow minded and prejudiced, and unlearn those tendencies. I need to set a better example of how white fans should support characters of colour (especially Black characters in a fandom created by a Black woman). I need to use the privilege I have (as a white person, as a popular blog) to support this character and the people who enjoy him. All of him.

#race in fandom discourse #stuff i wrote

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fspgrad · 5 years ago

Photo

I wrote the following essay for my business internship final. I did my internship with Kohl’s. However, rather than write about Kohl’s, the instructor instead consented in allowing me to write about what I planned to do with my business degree. It was while writing this essay that my vision for an ex-offender reentry facility/program began to form. While some of the details have changed, the overall plan remains the same. It is to be my life’s work.

Ex-Offenders: An Untapped Resource of Valuable Human Capital

by Larry Sutton Jr.

25 July 2017

Good help is indeed hard to find, and according to the latest predictions, it is going to be even more difficult to find in the years to come. According to a 2017 speech on monetary policy, Janet Yellen, Chair of the Federal Reserve, said there was no conclusive evidence to indicate that the economy is experiencing a labor shortage. However, she also stated, “it is true many employers report difficulties finding qualified workers in selected occupations” (Yellen). Economists for the National Association for Business Economics have been predicting since July of 2015 that post-recession labor markets will continue to tighten as small businesses report few or qualified applicants to fill vacant positions (CNBC). During the recession, when labor markets were weak, unemployment high, and jobs scarce, companies engaged in ‘opportunistic upscaling’ meaning employers could demand higher education and qualifications from applicants. That is no longer the case in a post-recession economy. The U.S. unemployment rate is at a 10-year low of 4.4% with labor markets close to full employment (Mutikani). A reversal is taking place; jobs are now aplenty while labor is becoming scarce. Labor shortages will continue to rise since aging Baby Boomers are retiring and exiting the job market at an estimated rate of 10,000 workers per day (Kessler). The United States is not just experiencing a shortage of skilled laborers, but also a lack of unskilled laborers that are less willing to work because of chronic dependencies on social welfare programs. Many companies are providing on-the-job training programs complaining that too many millennials are graduating from high schools and colleges without any useful skills (Moore). Technological advances help the United States produce more efficiently, but they do not provide the necessary supply of skilled laborers the country needs to produce. In the past, the United States could depend upon a steady influx of foreign workers to supplement the country’s labor needs. However, governmental restrictions and policies on immigration are hindering this practice with fewer work visas being issued. As a result, the United States will be forced to work with what it has to produce the human capital it will need in years to come. An emerging trend will be to fully rehabilitate ex-offenders and successfully integrate them into the nation’s workforce. I know this to be true because as an aspiring entrepreneur, I plan to use my professional knowledge, formal education, and personal experience to create the most successful offender re-entry and prisoner aftercare facilities in the nation thereby changing the way our country currently views the incarcerated.

There are more than 2.3 million people incarcerated in America’s state and federal prisons, local jails, juvenile detention facilities, Indian Country jails, military prisons, and immigration detention centers (Wagner and Rabuy). Obtaining a definitive total for the number of people imprisoned in America can be difficult and complex since all persons incarcerated have not been convicted of an offense or crime. Many are serving sentences while others are simply awaiting bail, trial, sentencing, or deportation. Furthermore, incarceration totals fail to account for the 820,000 people on parole or the 3.8 million people on probation (Wagner and Rabuy). Incarceration in America has become an epidemic. During the first presidential Democratic debate, Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders accurately stated, "Today in America, we have more people in jail than any other country on Earth. It seems to me that instead of building more jails and providing more incarceration, maybe, just maybe, we should be putting money into education and jobs for our kids” (Greenberg). Expanding education and creating more jobs in areas with high rates of crime and incarceration would be a step in the right direction. However, more needs to be done to help the 636,000 individuals released from prisons every year (Wagner and Rabuy). Correctional Institutions are not adequately preparing prisoners for release. Most leave prison without any additional skills or training. Furthermore, ex-offenders are burdened with too many barriers and restrictions upon their release making it difficult for them to integrate back into society.

Unfortunately, when a prisoner’s sentence ends the punishment continues. Finding a job and securing adequate housing can be challenging and difficult due to the tens of thousands of legal restrictions and limitations imposed upon people released from prison (Laird). Ex-offenders are often disenfranchised and excluded from society because of the collateral consequences associated with having a criminal record. It is not just social bias ex-prisoners face. Many ex-offenders leave prison burdened with steep fines, court costs, and restitution owed. For example, driver’s licenses of ex-offenders are often suspended until all fines are paid; ex-offenders cannot pay the fines without a job; and they cannot obtain a job without any skills or transportation. This is particularly a problem for people on probation or parole. To avoid violating the terms and conditions of their probation or parole which require ex-felons to pay scheduled fines and complete mandatory office visits, many will choose to break the law and drive without a license; this only sets them up for more trouble (Laird). Prisons are full of people convicted for driving on a suspended license. Incarceration is a viscous cycle; without adequate financial and family support, most ex-felons fail to escape from the revolving doors that lead in and out of the American criminal justice system. Within 5 years of being released from prison, 67.8 percent of ex-offenders are re-arrested and returned to prison (National Institute of Justice). This relapse back into criminal behavior is referred to as recidivism. There has been much study in the last decade to find promising solutions that will reduce recidivism. This has resulted in federal funding for research, grants and services for prisoner re-entry programs at select institutions across the country (Task Force for Faith-based & Community Initiatives). 2017 marked the first year of a decline since 1978 in the overall prison population by more than 15,000 inmates (Pew Trusts). Compared to the whole pie, 15,000 inmates are not a dramatic decrease. While even modest gains are a step in the right direction, there is still not enough being done to reduce recidivism to an acceptable level. States are still building prisons instead of closing them, and most of the prison population is not being taught skills that will allow them to earn a livable wage upon their release. It is also worth noting that most of these gains to reduce recidivism occurred during the presidency of Barrack Obama. Criminal justice issues were a key focus of the Obama administration (Gramlich). Former Attorney General Eric Holder enacted proposals to reduce sentences and end automatic mandatory sentencing guidelines for specific types of drug and non-violent offenses (Horwitz). That said, it would be unfair to attribute the slight decline in America’s prison population based solely on the role of prisoner re-entry programs and faith-based initiatives. Based on my own personal experiences with prisoner re-entry programs and having witnessed them firsthand, I give them little credit.

I spent 16 consecutive years incarcerated in the Florida Department of Corrections. Florida hosts the third largest state prison system in the country operating 149 facilities that house almost 100,000 inmates (FLDOC). During that time, I was detained at 17 different correctional institutions that ranged from minimum and maximum-security institutions to crisis stabilization units, work camps, medical and close-management facilities, and reception centers. Unlike a majority of the inmate population, I entered prison with a high school education and some professional job skills. This allowed me to secure some of the better job assignments. I worked several years in the education department tutoring inmates in Adult Basic Education and GED classes earning a LVA (Literacy Volunteers of Greater Augusta) certification. The most valuable experience I received while incarcerated came while working outside of the prison—I had a gate pass—for a self-funded, not-for-profit organization called PRIDE Enterprises (Prison Rehabilitative Industries and Diversified Enterprises). PRIDE operates over 25 different industries throughout the state of Florida ranging from lumber mills, metal tag plants, dental and optical laboratories to furniture and garment factories. Working in the offices of PRIDE honed my administrative skills while teaching me inventory management, operations, and production. Despite the mental, physical, and sexual abuse I suffered while incarcerated, I still managed to thrive in an environment that offers little to spur personal growth or professional improvement. I was self-motivated and determined to make the most of my sentence by learning as much as I could. I did not come from a broken home or an impoverished neighborhood like so many of the men I was locked-up with. Going to prison was not some rite of passage that for decades has become second nature, even expected, among minorities and certain segments of the U.S. population. Often, new inmates would arrive on the prison compound hundreds of miles from where they were from, and they would be greeted by multitudes of people they knew from their neighborhood including family members. This is significant because it should not be this way. Not once did I encounter someone I knew prior to my incarceration. It is rare for me to walk into my neighborhood Walmart and see anyone I know. The demographic make-up of the country’s prison population further illustrates the desperate need for extensive social reform in America. Perhaps the most important thing I learned while in prison was empathy. It is heartbreaking to be surrounded by so many talented men that will never get the opportunity to make their contribution to society simply because they were never taught basic life skills. Reforming America’s prison population is in everyone’s best interest.

Prisons are expensive to run, and there are limitations to the number of budget cuts federal and state governments can impose on prison spending without eliminating the bare necessities people need to survive: food, shelter, clothing, and medical. California, home of the country’s largest inmate population, spends an annual estimated $75,560 per inmate (Associated Press). The cost of attending one year at Harvard is $64,400; this includes tuition, room and board, books, supplies, and other fees (College Simply). Whenever I meet people from abroad, they are always amazed to learn that the United States does not offer every citizen a free college education. Taxpayer dollars could be better spent on education instead of prisons. While prisoner re-entry programs are a start, they do not accomplish enough. As previously mentioned, I have seen and experienced the state-run, federally funded, government mandated programs currently being operated within the department of corrections. The programs do not go far enough to prepare prisoners for re-entry into society. One major problem is the conflict of interest that exists with state correctional institutions that are charged with facilitating the programs. Rehabilitating inmates and reducing the prison population is not in their best interests. Prisons are the main source of jobs that fuel the economy for many small towns across America. The loss of prisons means a loss of jobs. The prison programs I experienced did only enough to fulfill federal guidelines. In most instances, the civilian instructors hired to teach educational and vocational programs were neither professionals in the field nor certified to teach. Most were simply the relative of someone working at the prison who needed a job. Generally, inmate tutors with the aid of videos and textbooks taught the courses while civilian employees served as supplemental correctional staff. Their responsibilities were to take roll, write passes, unlock materials from cabinets, and enforce institutional rules and procedures. The misappropriation of funds was something I witnessed on several occasions. I recall one vocational course in particular; it was a culinary class that was supposed to prepare and certify inmates to work in the restaurant and hospitality field. A make-shift classroom was set-up and an actual chef hired to teach the course. However, instead of learning how to prepare and cook meals with actual food and ingredients, they were given only water to work with. Participants in the course were later assigned to work in the prison’s kitchen which is deemed one of the worst jobs and a form of punishment by most inmates in the Florida Department of Corrections. This deterred others from signing up for the culinary class. I lost track of the number of correctional staff that were fired or arrested for the embezzlement of state funds or other serious acts of unethical behavior during my time of incarceration. State Correctional Agencies are not the only ones set to lose by reducing the nation’s prison population.

The privatization of America’s prisons and immigration centers has become a huge and profitable industry. Corrections Corporation of America (CCA) and the Geo Group are both publicly traded companies interested in the continued growth of mass incarceration; from 1999-2010, CCA spent a yearly average of $1.4 million lobbying federal and state officials to support the expansion of prisons and detention centers while heavily donating to political campaigns that opposed a bill to outlaw the privatization of prisons (Margulies). It was initially believed that the private sector could do a better and more efficient job of operating prisons. However, because of negligent practices, private-prison companies came under heavy scrutiny during the Obama administration with the Justice Department announcing plans to end the practice (Surowiecki). The election of Donald Trump has since scrapped those plans. President Trump believes in privatizing schools and prisons. His stance on immigration is predicted to fill detention centers many of which are operated by the private sector (Surowiecki). In contrast to Attorney General Eric Holder who believes fewer people should be sent to prison for shorter periods, President Trump believes the criminal justice system should award tougher sentences to serve as a deterrent to committing crimes (Margulies). With so much opposition against prison reform, it is easy to become discouraged. While I believe that prisoner re-entry programs are not as effective as they could be, I hope the federal government will continue to fund them. To achieve real success with prison reform, more resources need to be devoted to prisoner after-care programs and services. Ex-offenders need the most help after they leave prison. I was released from prison at 12:01 a.m. on November 19, 2015. Prison officials dropped me at the bus station with no money and an outdated resource list. Most of the places listed were either homeless shelters or halfway houses. Many of the places I called were no longer around. The Department of Family Services awarded me $16 per/month in food stamps which could not be used on hygiene products or clothing. Fortunately, I had a place to live and some family support. Finding a job with a criminal record was extremely difficult. While companies may not have an official policy against hiring ex-felons, most have an unofficial policy against doing so. My faith and trust in God is all that kept me from sticking a gun in my mouth and pulling the trigger. I knew I had to do something to counter having a criminal record, so two months later, I was sitting in a college classroom enrolled in the business management degree program at Jefferson College. Even though I had worked on computers while in prison, I had never seen the Internet or used a smartphone. Necessity has forced me to blindly fumble my way through today’s technologies. Two years after my release, I will have earned an Associate’s of Applied Science degree in business management. I have maintained a 4.0 GPA earning me placement on the Dean’s List, and I have been inducted into The National Honor Society. I am unashamed to say that it was during my coursework that God gave me the inspiration and vision to start an offender after-care program. My business courses have taught me that to create a successful business, you must first identify a need and then decide how to best fulfill that need. The United States needs a supply of skilled workers. Ex-prisoners can fill that need. Furthermore, rehabilitating former prisoners and integrating them into society provides a public good.

Prisoners are not lazy; most of them never held a job until they came to prison. They are the result of single-parent households in impoverished neighborhoods with lousy school systems that failed to teach early childhood development. Authority figures and positive role-models were absent from their lives, so they never learned basic life skills. The streets were their teacher in a society the places more value on material wealth than on personal values or principles. Their climb up the pyramid of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs never surpassed beyond fulfilling their basic physiological needs; to achieve success in life, self-actualization must occur (McLeod). This is almost impossible to achieve while incarcerated. In prison, inmates are identified by a number rather than a name—a number they recite half dozen times a day for security roll calls. Everyone is dressed the same in an environment devoid of all stimuli. Everything is painted in institutional greys, whites, and blues. The only vivid colors present belong to the shiny wrappers on the products sold in the prison inmate canteen. Wildlife and vegetation are absent on most prison compounds. Seeing a bird or squirrel often provides a special thrill. Prisons are massive human warehouses offering few distractions. Incarceration wipes away all vestiges of an individual’s identity making prisoners ideal subjects for rehabilitation. Ex-offenders re-enter society as blank slates in desperate need of programming. They must relearn their likes, tastes, and desires. These things must be properly introduced and nurtured in a positive manner. The streets can no longer be their teacher. To be successful, an offender re-entry program must be immersive, aggressive and innovative.

The program I envision picks ex-offenders up at the prison gates and brings them straight to the program. They are released from one controlled environment into another. The biggest difference being they are now residents rather than detainees. They can leave anytime they want. The key is to provide a safe and comfortable place; an environment they will not want to flee from. That is the problem with the current models for prisoner after-care programs; they are housed in places almost as dismal as prison. Society’s views that ex-felons must be given some resources but deserve only the minimum amount must end. The wealthy are provided with places akin to resorts while being treated for alcohol and drug addictions. Ex-offenders have repaid their debt to society. The punishment is over, and it must feel that way. Most ex-offenders already possess an instinct for business that can be capitalized upon. Paying jobs are scarce in prison, and many inmates receive little or no money from family and friends. Prisoners hustle to survive. They make beds or do laundry for other inmates; they run Fantasy Football leagues and betting pools, they operate their own canteens making loans and charging interest; they design, draw, and sell greeting cards; and they smuggle contraband of all types to fulfill the populations’ many vices. The currency for this competitive prison economy is usually canteen items in lieu of cash. Interestingly, most ex-offenders already have an entrepreneurial drive. Many were drug dealers prior to their incarceration. They have dealt with customers and suppliers while managing product and inventory. The program will enroll residents in college degree and certificate programs. The goal is to transform ex-offenders into professional business persons and entrepreneurs capable of operating law-abiding enterprises. In a world where ethics are increasingly becoming more of a concern, ex-prisoners understand the harsh consequences of unethical behavior. Former prisoners crave respect, and they know the value of honesty and integrity. Program residents will do more than achieve; they will excel.

Most importantly, the program is faith-based and Christ-centered. The practical application of Biblical principles has been proven to effectively transform lives. It is impossible to help everyone. Therefore, this program is only for those who have chosen Christian living, and it will be limited to Christian ex-offenders. Furthermore, it would not be advisable in this instance to mix believers with nonbelievers. Residents will engage in daily Bible studies and participate in discipleship programs. All residents will be provided guidance by carefully vetted Christian mentors provided by local churches. This program is a brotherhood designed to fully integrate former prisoners back into the community. Therefore, program residents will be required to participate in volunteerism. That is what actively engaged citizens do. I also believe this program needs to be self-funding rather than rely on government grants and charitable donations. In times of recession, funds are cut and pockets become shallow. To achieve this objective, the program will own and operate several small businesses such as residential and commercial landscape design services, food concessions and catering, vending machine supply, refurbishing and restoring antiques, etc. The possibilities are endless. This will give residents the opportunity to run a business while simultaneously earning an income. The program will also pay all residents’ court fines and restitution. This is very much like the model used by PRIDE Enterprises.

I have embarked on a journey with still a long way to travel. The hardships, deprivation, and isolation of prison toughened me up; it gave me unique insight and put iron in my soul. I believe this program is the God-given plan for my life, and I feel confident it will succeed. There is no one more suited or qualified to run an offender re-entry program. A business management degree is only a start. I also plan to earn a bachelor’s degree in accounting. Not only will this give me the additional skills needed, but it will also boost my credibility among the detractors I am sure to encounter along the way. Furthermore, if I am to teach others how to successfully transform their post-prison lives, then I must lead by example. I am attempting to set the bar as high as possible. The success of the program will undoubtedly be judged by the first group of men to complete it. That is why it is imperative to get it right from the start. I believe the program’s success will certify me as an authority on prison reform. My vision is not only to reform ex-offenders and create a business model for others to imitate. I hope to start a trend that will facilitate closing a third of the nation’s prisons. As I was leaving Florida State Prison, I told officials I would be the most successful inmate ever to leave the Florida Department of Corrections. Success is not measured by an individual’s wealth or material possessions. No one is ever commended for dying rich. True success is the achievement of difficult goals and the positive impact a person leaves on society. Incarceration need not be the end. Nelson Mandela spent 30 years in prison and later became president of a nation. He rightly said, “Difficulties make some men, break others”. An ancient proverb most memorably paraphrased by Anne Isabella Thackeray Ritchie says, “Give a man a fish, you feed him for a day, but teach a man to fish, and you feed him for life.” God redeemed me for this purpose. Jesus told His disciples, “Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men” (NKJV, Matt 4:19). As a Christian, I believe in the solemn promises of God. There is nothing more noble, satisfying and commendable than living one’s life to serve the greater good of others.

Works Cited

CNBC. SURVEY SHOWS GROWING U.S. SHORTAGE OF SKILLED LABOR. 20 July 2015. Website. 25 July 2017. <http://www.cnbc.com/2015/07/20/survey-shows-growing-us-shortage-of-skilled-labor.html>.

Florida Deparment of Corrections. About the Florida Deparment of Corrections. 2017. Website. 29 July 2017. <http://www.dc.state.fl.us/about.html>.

Gramlich, John. FEDERAL PRISON POPULATION DECLINES DURING OBAMA'S PRESIDENCY. Ed. Pew Research. 5 January 2017. 29 July 2017. <http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2017/01/05/federal-prison-population-fell-during-obamas-term-reversing-recent-trend/>.

Greenberg, Jon. Bernie Sanders: The United States Has More People in Jail Than Any Country on Earth. 13 October 2015. Website. 27 July 2017. <http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/2015/oct/13/bernie-s/bernie-sanders-united-states-has-more-people-jail-/>.

Hartman, Mitchell. 15 YEARS OF LABOR SHORTAGES PREDICTED FOR THE U.S. ECONOMY. 19 April 2016. Website. 25 July 2017. <http://www.marketplace.org/2016/04/19/world/15-years-labor-shortages-predicted-us-economy>.

Horwitz, Sari. "HOLDER CALLS FOR REDUCED SENTENCES FOR LOW-LEVEL DRUG OFFENDERS." The Washington Post 13 March 2014. Website. 29 July 2017. <https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/national-security/holder-will-call-for-reduced-sentences-for-low-level-drug-offenders/2014/03/12/625ed9e6-aa12-11e3-8599-ce7295b6851c_story.html?utm_term=.f6f9ea8e1030>.

Kessler, Glenn. "Do 10,000 Baby Boomers Retire Every Day?" The Washington Post 24 July 2014. Website. 25 July 2017. <https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/fact-checker/wp/2014/07/24/do-10000-baby-boomers-retire-every-day/?utm_term=.a576afaa9adf>.

Laird, Lorelei. "EX-OFFENDERS FACE TENS OF THOUSANDS OF LEGAL RESTRICTIONS, BIAS AND LIMITS ON THEIR RIGHTS." ABA Journal (2013). Website. 25 July 2017. <http://www.abajournal.com/magazine/article/ex-offenders_face_tens_of_thousands_of_legal_restrictions>.

Margulies, Joseph. "THIS IS THE REAL REASON PRIVATE PRISONS SHOULD BE OUTLAWED." Time 24 August 2016. Website. 25 July 2017. <http://time.com/4461791/private-prisons-department-of-justice/>.

McLeod, Saul. Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. 2016. 29 July 2017. <https://www.simplypsychology.org/>.

Moore, Stephen. THE GREAT WORKER SHORTAGE. 31 March 2015. Website. 25 July 2017. <http://www.forbes.com/site/stevemoore/2015/03/31/not-hard-at-work-hardly-working/2/#183b1beb6109>.

Mutikani, Lucia. "U.S. ECONOMIC OUTLOOK BRIGHTENS AS JOB MARKET TIGHTENS." Reuters (2017). Website. 25 July 2017. <http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-economy-unemployment-idUSKCN18E1OV>.

Pew Trusts. The Pew Charitable Trusts: Research & Analysis. 17 September 2015. Website. 29 July 2017. <http://www.pewtrusts.org/en/research-and-analysis/analysis/2015/09/17/state-federal-prison-populations-decline-simultaneously-for-first-time-in-36-years>.

Surowiecki, James. "TRUMP SETS PRIVATE PRISONS FREE." The New Yorker 5 December 2016: The Financial Page. Website. 25 July 2017. <http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2016/12/05/trump-sets-private-prisons-free>.

Task Force for Faith-based & Community Initiatives. "Federal Funding & Services for Prisoner Reentry." 25 April 2008. U.S. Deparment of Justice Office of the Deputy Attorney General. Website. 28 July 2017. <https://www.justice.gov/archive/fbci/docs/fed-prisoner-reentry-resources.pdf>.

The Holy Bible, New King James Version. Oxford University Press, 2002.

Thompson, Don. "A YEAR IN A CALIFORNIA PRISON COST MORE THAN A YEAR AT HARVARD." Associated Press. U.S. News & World Report, 5 June 2017. Website. 25 July 2017. <http://www.usnews.com/news/best-states/new-york/articles/2017-06-05/correction-california-prisons-costs-story>.

U.S. Deparment of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, National Institute of Justice. "RECIDIVISM." 2017. Website. 25 July 2017. <http://www.nij.gov/topics/corrections/recidivism/Pages/welcome.aspx>.

U.S. Department of Education National Center for Education Statistics. Harvard Tuition & Cost Guide. 2017. Website. 25 July 2017. <http://www.collegesimply.com/colleges/massachusetts/harvard-university/price>.

Wagner, Peter and Bernadette Rabuy. "MASS INCARCERATION: THE WHOLE PIE 2016." 2016. Website. 25 July 2017. <http://www.prisonpolicy.org/reports/pie2016.html>.

Yellen, Janet L. "THE ECONOMIC OUTLOOK AND THE CONDUCT OF MONETARY POLICY." Speech. Stanford University Institute for Economic Policy Research. Standford: Federal Reserve, 19 January 2017. Website. 25 July 2017. <http://www.federalreserve.gov/newsevents/speech/yellen20170119a.html>.

#prison reform #the pavilion #florida state prison #ex-offenders #human capital

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wanderer706 · 6 years ago

Text

Behind the Screens Ch 1- Library

(Cam. Airl- Written Draft 2)

“Excuse me.” Michela said trying to get the attention of the man behind the counter. He turned and acknowledged that he had seen her, but he went right back to tinkering with the machine.

“Shouldn’t be too much longer.” He said to her. “This damn piece of garbage is always breaking down on me.” He then muttered something to himself about how it would be much easier if he scanned the books himself, but no this machine was designed to do it. To top it off the scanner was secured inside the machine so he couldn’t get it out even if he wanted to.

Michela had grown used to this sight. It seemed like every other week she came into the university library and saw the head librarian tinkering away with that damn machine. He had called the tech department so many times that it was almost turning into a bad comedy routine with no punch line. He would call the tech people, they would come, and say it was a minor problem that was easily fixed. Other times he would tinker with it himself. If he complained that the device needed to be replaced then they always gave the same excuse that there wasn’t enough money in the budget.

There was a sudden whir that filled quickly died out. The machine was working again. The librarian let out a sigh of relief and turned to see what Michela wanted.

“I would like to check out these.” She said handing over a large stack of books about classical history. She was studying a classics degree and needed the books to write a lengthy essay that was due one week before the final exams started. Her selection was a wide range of notes from professional institutions as well as books compiling the words of ancient historians, and a very thick book detailing an entire era of history, even though she was only interested in a small part of that book.

The head librarian, his name tag said Gerald, took the books off of her hands and set the machine to issue. Thankfully it was able to scan all of the books she needed without incident. When Gerald handed the books back to her, he made a comment about how the finals were coming up and how she must be excited. Michela jokingly told him he was dreaming and needed to get with the times. Students were not always thrilled about final exams, and some were more interested in getting plastered at “parties”.

She grabbed her stack of books and started to head for the door. As soon as she turned around one of the shelf trolleys was returning and she almost walked into it. The bot didn’t seem to acknowledge her, even when it drove over her foot and grabbed some more books that needed to be shelfed.

Michela was easily able to shrug off the foot run over, the bot hadn’t been full of books, and headed for the door. From here she could see that the wind was starting to pick up which was unusual for this time of the year. Michela though wasn’t used to the cold. She wasn’t born in this country and had sent her entire childhood growing up in a small town in a country with a much warmer climate. However, when she was fifteen her father received a job opportunity in this city, and with that the whole family left that warm country and headed for a new horizon as he put it to her.

Once she was a school she learnt that it wasn’t easy being a foreign student in a new country. Those first six months she had been dedicated to trying her hardest to learn the new language and even now she occasionally had trouble with the language. This was because her accent was extremely thick, even to this day. Some people mocked but some of the boys claimed it was sexy. Now her she was at University studying to be a teacher of classical history and she still had to around her accent. Except now the taunt she heard behind her back was how she took the subject because she was homesick. That maybe true, but they didn’t have to rub it in and say she should go back to where she belonged.

She was about to exit the building when Clark and a group of his friends came in at the same time.

“Michela. What are you doing here?” he asked.

“I… was… just leaving. Got some studying to do.” She said.

“It’s cold out. Stay here. I was about to do some study myself.” He said with that irresistible smile on his face.

“You were?” she said, trying to match his smile.

“Yes. You can stay if you want. We don’t mind. Do we?” He said to his friends who all murmured in agreement. Michela heart jumped when he said that.

Clark was a lean black guy who Michela meet a few months into her university degree. He had the body of idol that caused all of the girls on campus to swoon for him wherever he went. He also had the most irresistible smile that made even the strictest of teachers loosen up. Michela also fell into that boat of being in love him and she could tell he knew that. When he started seeing her more often she felt like she was in heaven and when he started telling people she was his girlfriend she had resist the urge to scream with joy.

They all walked into the library and quickly found an empty table for all of them to sit at. They then laid out their books and began to take notes or write out whatever their lecturers had demanded from them. Michela began taking notes from the books she had collected, but couldn’t stop taking her eyes off Clark. He was studying law and was three years into his degree. His three friends he had with him were alright but they weren’t Clark. She kept forgetting their names and ended up remembering them only by the courses they sat. Two of them were studying psychology whilst the other friend was studying philosophy.

They studied in brief silence for a while until Clark broke the silence with his dreamy voice.

“So, Michela how are things in your world?” He said to her.

“Fine.” She said. “I’m passing all of my papers if that if that is what you’re asking. Also trying to keep on the good side of the teachers. Although there are some in the class who are starting to try my patience.”

“Don’t all classes have people like that.” He said in a tone that suggested he wanted a response. His friends once again agreed with what had been said.

“I have someone in one of my classes who keeps drawing dicks on small notes and leaves them on people’s desks when they’re not looking. He then watches their reactions and thinks it’s funny.” One of Clarks friend said.

“Joke’s on him then as it makes him it makes him look an idiot as opposed to the cool kid he wants to be.” Clark said

They all laughed. It was always funny to laugh at twats who they believed deserved nothing, but a swift smack on the head.

“You know it’s rude to wear a hat in the library.” One of Clark’s friends suddenly said to Michela. The friend was referring to Michela’s lucky cap.

“It’s my lucky cap I rarely take it off.” Michela said in response. The cap had been brought by her grandfather back when he was still alive. She had always treasured it the moment he gave it to her after one of the many global excursions he went on. She was twelve when he gave it to her, and it then became something she treasured even more when he died. She was fourteen at funeral and made sure to bring it with her when she moved away. It was dark blue, though it was slightly faded now. In the picture area of the cap it had the outline of shield with the silhouette of a roaring bear in the middle all in red.

“Whatcha got there?” Clark suddenly asked. They all turned their heads and saw that the friend sitting next to Michela wasn’t focusing on studying. He was instead looking intently at something on his phone.

“Nothing.” He said quickly looking up.

“You’re not telling the world where you are?” Clark said.

“No of course not.” The friend said.

“Then show us what you’re looking at.” Another one of Clark’s friends said and with that they tried to grab the phone. The nervous friend quickly moved the phone away, but the hand continued to try and grab it. As they did their little dance they weren’t looking at who the phone was now in front of.

“Yoink.” Michela said snatching the phone away. It was still open on the interesting page in question.

“Ghost Drive E. Fact or Fiction?” Michela read the title aloud.

“‘Fact or Fiction?’ isn’t that the name of a blog.” Clark asked. The friend turned bright red.

“Yes, and I like to read it.” He said.

“You know the writer of that is gullible and paranoid.” Clark said.

“I know that. So, what?”

“What does it say?” Clark asked.

Michela began to read, skipping over several bits “Ghost Drive E. We’ve all heard the stories… It is a phantom program that will appear on your computer drive at random without your consent. If you dare to open it you will then release upon your local network, horrors that you cannot imagine that will result in death of you and everyone close to you. It is recommended you do not open this. The rest of this is just the writer’s wild ramblings.”

Michela then placed the phone onto the table where the friend eagerly snatched it back.

“Sorry about that.” Michela said.

“That’s all right.” The friend said. “Now can we please just get back to study?” he asked.

They then all returned their head to the notes they were studying.

Michela tried her hardest to get back to her notes but her mind couldn’t focus. She couldn’t help but think about the Ghost Drive and everything that that the blog said, but then her mind shifted to the killings.

The city was on edge at the moment. There was a serial killer on the loose whose work was something to behold in how they were able to pull it off. They targeted entire apartment complexes. One night it would go silent and then the next morning everyone who lived there was found dead. The press dubbed them “The Apartment Killer.” Police were still investigating but weren’t saying anything outside of how many were confirmed dead each time. Thus far the killer had hit five buildings and the city was wondering which would be struck next.

#chapter 1 #horror

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