#and i could not handle the knowledge that my pet died because i didn't do something that could have prevented it.

[olde-scratch]

really is nothing quite like learning the possums in your area are brave enough to try to turn and hiss at your dog instead of playing dead at the sight of them

[vazelbeak]

Thoughts on season 2 episode 4

Okay this episode I feel has a lot worth nothing so im taking notes and transferring them into a post. Apologies if this posts messy this episode had a lot to touch upon.

Worldbuilding

-First lets touch upon world building. This episode presented things that were really inconsistent. Was Andre there go facilitate the divorce? He didn't have paperwork or anything and he didn't know about Striker. If that was why he was there was it some plot to trick Stolas into going somewhere she could kill him. Stolas doesn't appear to go many places or have a job what's stopping Striker from sneaking into his castle? I think this needed more research and set up. Does Stolas have too much security around his castle?

Maybe have Stella mention "apologies brother, I couldn't tell you about Stiker and risk Stolas catching onto my plan by you anticipating him showing up. It takes a lot to get him to go somewhere outside his castle without Blitz or Octavia."

- There is also Andre implies Goetia live forever if not incredibly long by saying "eternity". I think this somewhat contradicts Stolas's need to have an heir when its implied Stolas's family has a habit of dying young last I recalled. Wouldn't there be more urgency for them because the whole point of a precautionary heir was incase Stolas died? Eternity could apply to everyone else, but did they forget the whole point was Stolas might not live as long as everyone else? Or is it that Stolas is now in the clear and doesn't have to worry once Octavia hits 18?

-If goetia live so long what do you mean none have ever behaved this way before? Certainly someone has to. On top of that you would think then that Andre would have an arranged marriage to right?

-If Stolas dies and everything goes to Octaiva, but Stolas hates Stella so much he wouldn't willingly give her anything I would think logically the solution is if Octaiva is under 18 (or maybe 15 because people can get jobs at 16) and Stolas is dead that Stella would have that control until Octavia hits 18 years of age A Series of Unfortunate Events style. So does Stella want Stolas's power or just straight up hate him and want him miserable? Whats the point here? Her plan to get this should've been over the moment they divorced.

-If hellbies shots are things hellhounds need every year on the surface it would make sense it takes so long to book an appointment. However if hellhounds are lower class and seen as so not valuable presumably wouldnt many be too poor to afford one or have people who dont care to book appointments for their hellhounds making it somewhat easier to book one? On top of that if so many hell hounds need and get appointments wouldn't the doctors be more prepared to handle Loona being afraid she far from the strongest if her build tells us anything? In veterinarian clinics if your pets are too scared to have their teeth cleaned, claws trimmed, or bathed, its common practice to sedate them to minimize injury to the doctors and pets. Is it because sloth is the only place with this type of doctors office? Why? (Personally id say maybe make it Hellfever to sound like hayfever? But thats personal taste)

-Why did they try to inject Loona in the neck and then go for the butt? Its common in injecting dogs to my knowledge you do it in the scruff, but if injecting Loona in the butt is fine it brings to question why they tried to go for the neck when it seemed initially that area would've been more reasonable to begin with when she was first pinned.

-Why do hellhounds need a cone for a shot?

Now lets talk characters!

Moxxie

-Blitzø mentions they used to kill other demons and prior i mentioned with S2E3 it would potentially make sense if Moxxie had a problem killing other demons and not humans due to his mom and knowing humans die and go to hell so its not killing in his eyes, but he had no problem killing people in wrath. If they wanted it consistent they shouldve made a joke that Moxxie forgot about the guy he had the gas pump wrapped around the neck of and drove away unknowingly killing him, no explosion or have it a bit delayed so Moxxie doesnt connect the two and have him mention "Huh i feel like I'm forgetting something."

-Why are demons thinking Moxxie stole their hat? Or that hats are their thing? I think this would be funnier if they weren't wearing a hat and presumed Moxxie stole it somehow.

Blitzø

-Speaking of Blitzø I don't find him as funny as they want him to be. Him being mean to a kid would be funnier if the kid seemed intentionally a jerk and not played as a kid who doesn't know better and parrots what his mom is saying. Because of that it seems like any anger directed towards the kid should be towards the mom.

"Reeeeeally cant say that word anymore." You were cool with it until very recently Viv so this just sounds like trying to backpedal when people have been discussing your history of ablesim. It also looks bad that you were fine with him saying that but censoring him calling someone a cunt.

-Why is Stolas being able to be hurt new to Blitzø? This feels like it belonged sooner as episode 2 than Seeing Stars where Blitzø didnt care on part because of the terms they were last on and assumed Stolas was capable of helping himself only to be wrong. On top of that in Seeing Stars they introduced Stolas having limited abilities without his book so it feels like having Seeing Stars first would mean Blitzø should already have been introduced to the concept Stolas is not invincible.

Stolas

-Stolas seems painfully oblivious in this episode. Why didn't he recognize himself as in danger earlier? Striker had angelic rope and tried to shoot him. Wouldn't that indicate he's in danger before Blitzo couldn't arrive? Why didn't he try using his ability to turn people to stone before being captured? If he was scared I could see that maybe he didn't think of it in the moment but even then it doesn't make a lot if sense.

-if breaking Stolas's leg isn't that bad bc Blitzo's been rougher then i think the "harder" joke used by Moxxie would've fit better for Stolas to use than anything. Make it a joke akin to Klaus in umbrella academy where he's stabbed and starts moaning and itd ruining Strikers attempts to torture him so he has a painful drawn out death.

-Why does it matter if Blitzo doesnt say anything when Stolas told him he could visit? It feels like theyre bouncing back and fourth between whether S1E7 had any significance. Stolas was hitting on him in Seeing Stars are we sure this is supposed to come before that?

Striker

- This is the second time we've seen Striker and the disconnect between what he says and what the team says about him is massive. If Strikers talk of hating what the goetia took away from him was all talk to convince Blitzo to turn on Stolas, I didn't follow the logic but might be able to run with it if kept consistent. The fact Striker talks about it to Stolas too doesn't make sense unless true. If they wanted him to be a bigot and embody toxic masculinity it would make more sense if he hated Stolas for divorcing Stella because "that's not how you treat a lady".

-On top of that Stolas pointing out he works for Stella is pointing out their own inconsistencies in my eyes because it highlights that Striker is contradicting his presented motives. If for example it was for money Stolas saying this would insinuate Striker is a hypocrite for being swayed by money to work for a goetia. This would explain it by implying Stolas is trying to make Striker turn on Stella by implying he should go after someone who only cares for money. Im not sure if I'm making sense but they're not presenting a train if thought here.

- Why would he even care about Octavia when he wasn't paid to kill her.

Stella and Andre

- Adding incest feels like a cheap attempt to make Stella more cartoonishly evil to backpedal on Stolas being bad for cheating. It doesn't feel like a planned idea or as though it has significance beyond "ew Andre is attracted to her! Look how bad they are!" And Andre has no other real significance in the episode.

Overall lacks research, the plot doesn't feel like it progresses naturally. I don't see why Loona getting a shot needed its own separate plot outside of to justify Blitzø not being there and it feels like following Blitzø getting her vaccinated just lacked any substance beyond Vivs need to cut away from anything sincere to comedy.

If they wanted Loona to get vaccinated I feel like the better plot to give some significance to it would be Loona not wanting a Hellbies shot but after seeing how much she's hurting Blitzø to avoid it (to a point he gives up) she realizes she needs to try to do it for him because he did go through the effort to book this appointment and look out for her and when she does she either realizes its not that bad or at least has the sense to be remorseful for how she treated him.

I think I touched base with most things. If Viv wants to brag that her episodes were the most liked and throw the rest of her team under the bus she can have fun with that, however to me it looks like she's thrown out her own established character and world building details again and its disappointing.

[hecohansen31]

Hello! I don't know if you are taking requests but, if you are, could you maybe do some fluffy stuff about Bill calming someone from a anxiety attack?Just making them feel that everything it's ok and that she's not alone... I'm having a pretty bad day and I didn't started my treatment yet, so everything it's just so... loud and scary, you know? But if you're not it's ok, really. I also wanted to say that I love your work and that these stories really help go through most of my days. Take care

(A/N): Hey sweetie!

I just wanted to say that I am tremendously sad to hear that you had an anxiety attack and I hope that you are feeling slightly better or will soon and that your treatment will work out for you!

Just take a deep breath (although I know that it is difficult to say this) and just enjoy a bit of this reading!

I also wnated to apologize in advance if this sucks, I am not very good at writing for real people, since I am a bit uneasy about it, but I hope that you’ll like what I wrote, I honestly have to say that I tear up when you said that you love my work and that these stories help you go through you days, because if there is something that I want to do with these silly stories is helping you lovelies!

So I hope for the best and have a nice reading!

WARNINGS: Mention of Anxiety, Anxiety Attack, Awkwardness (also the first part is basically something that my therapist taught me to relax which is couting the parts of your body which touch, which is very helpful for me).

One, your lids.

Two, your lips.

Three, your…

A sob escaped your lips making them part immediately as you moved forward.

Your lungs on fire from the long tiring session you had been having, unable to properly breath as you felt the choking sound of your throat gasping for air.

And for a moment, you thought you couldn’t have made it.

For a moment everything closed around you and your arms moved around you to shield you properly from the reality crashing down onto you.

It had been all too much: the small change in the program, the acid comment of your boss and Bill’s text about how he’d be stuck on set for another week, after he had already been gone for three months to film his newest project.

And you had been left without a slight sniff of your tall boyfriend, with his gentle hands.

He had never witnessed an anxiety attack of yours, because as cheesy as it was you were always calmer with Bill.

It had always been this way, since he had first noticed how uncomfortable you looked in that small party your friend had dragged you to.

Everybody would have been glad that they had been invited to an Hollywoodian party, but you were just worried of dropping your glass of expensive champagne against somebody.

You had stood in your angle and suddenly this handsome man was in front of you, something similar in his eyes and you swore you had seen him somewhere… you just couldn’t remember when or where.

… and then all your knowledge of the net had made you realize that in front of you there was Bill Skarsgard and obviously your first reaction had been.

“… wait you are Bill Skarsgard!” because it was obviously the best thing to shout at a celebrity, even more to one as private as him, but he had simply replied gently.

‘Ah yeah that’s me’ he had seemed at unease and a myriad of thoughts had gone through your head, each one wanting to make you run away, but he had gently offered you an hand ‘… well since you already know my name, why don’t you tell me yours?’.

You had hesitated, more out of surprise than uneasy with the beautiful man, who had simply blushed and shaken his head as he had mumbled.

‘Gosh that was… moronic of me… I shouldn’t… Alex says that they work, but …’.

‘I am (Y/N)… (Y/N) (L/N)…’ you had shot back, breathing out your answer as you stumbled through the world, holding out your hand to grip his, as his face immediately went from nervousness to shock to a sweeter smile ‘… I am just surprised that a god like you wants to speak with a mere mortal like me’.

And then you had just felt awful, but he had just laughed it off embarrassed.

‘I actually think that you are the prettiest girl in the room, so…’.

And then you had blushed softly, biting your lips as Bill led you away from the crowd on the small front porch of the house, as you sat there, talking about how awkward you both felt at this kind of things.

‘… I don’t want to make you feel bad, but I was worried you’d crush the glass in your hands…’ he had joked as you blushed, softly punching him on the shoulder, your glass now empty, helping you with a bit of liquid courage.

‘You literally used the worst pick-up line after “did it hurt when you fell from heaven”?’ you had shot back and his cheeks had also turned a pinkish shade, as you both avoided each other’s eyes, too shy to confront the other.

For a kiss you had needed a bit more of wine, but it had been worth it.

And every moment with him had been worth it.

But three months without him were already too much, although you saw him through the skype calls.

But it wasn’t simply enough.

It wasn’t enough anymore when you had just the shittiest day and everything felt like it was too much to handle for you.

Your mind rushed through the most horrible thoughts as you tried to think what Bill would say to you.

His deep voice always helping you, even more when he did that cute giggle he owned, scrunching his nose in a way that was so so adorable that you had just promised to yourself to kiss it every time it happened.

But then a shocking thought hit you.

He’d think that you were a mess if he saw you like this.

Make-up all ruined form your tears and sweat and each time you had mindlessly touched your eyes to dry the tears and rub them, meanwhile your light lipstick was smashed all over your cheeks, since as soon as you had seen a reflection of yourself you had hated the color and wanted desperately to delete it.

He wouldn’t have stayed if he had seen you like that.

Maybe it was for the better that he wouldn’t be…

“Sweetheart, I am home!”.

For a moment you had thought that your brain had finally moved its endorphins and it was starting to work to distract you from the horrible feeling of tightness in your chest.

And then you heard the door closing.

And understood that Bill was for sure at home.

You shifted closer to yourself almost wanting to hide as you moved closer to the part under the sink, thinking that if you focused enough, you’d match the bathroom floor tiles.

Enough to hide yourself from Bill.

“Sweetheart?” he seemed almost sad that you didn’t answer him, and as a loud breath escaped your mouth, you slapped an hand over your mouth, as you tried to understand if it was all an hallucination or Bill had come home, before.

You didn’t know which one would have been worse.

“… shit maybe I should have told her…she hates surprises” your heart couldn’t help but awake at his serious concern for you “… maybe she is over at Christine’s”.

You hoped desperately that he’d just convince himself of it and maybe go away, because if there was one thing you were sure, hallucination or not, was that you wouldn’t have let him see you like that.

He’d have broken up with you, for sure.

“… I’ll call her” and before you could rush in to switch off your phone, the awful first notes of ‘Daylight’ by Taylor Swift started playing.

This brought you back when Bill had mocked your music tastes and you had pretended to be hurt, but you hadn’t cared in the slightest, singing offkey as he kept on preparing your dinner, and although he wouldn’t admit it, you had heard him sing the first few lines as he was getting ready for bed.

“… babe?” he asked, curiously and again a sob left your mouth, revealing further where you were, and as fast as you could you tried your best to hide yourself turning around a you tried to reach for your phone “…hey, lovely, is anything wrong?”.

Thankfully he hadn’t opened the doors, and gently knocked scaring you as you tried to calm your heavy breathing in order for you to appear as normal as you could with ruined make-up and a face that seemed the same someone would have after their pet died.

“… ahem I was just…” ‘please don’t say anything stupid’ “… pooping”.

“Oh” you could already picture Bill’s blushing face “… sorry sorry, sweetie, I’ll wait for you in the dining room, ok?”.

“Bill, what are you doing here?” you asked as you slowly got up, knowing that confrontation wasn’t avoidable and trying to make up whether hat awful voice that told you that Bill had just come back to you to break up was true or not “… aren’t you supposed to be filming the new movie?”.

“Ahem… yeah and no” his voice always wavered as it always did when he told you an half-truth “… we wrapped up a few days ago, but I wanted to make you a surprise, because today is our anniversary”.

Shit of a fucking shit.

You weren’t worried for the gift.

You had had that ready for a month.

Sometime anxiety had its perks.

But what worried you was the fact that you had literally looked at the day and hadn’t remembered it was your anniversary.

It was also the deadline of your project, which your boss had partially rejected.

The part that you had worked on desperately and almost on your own, which had resulted in the product being a bit imprecise but… it hadn’t seemed so bad.

You couldn’t help but hate the fact that you had been so stressed to have forgotten about it all.

“… sweetie, are you still there?” asked Bill from the other side “…or did the toilet seat swallow you?”

“Ahem no” although you felt that awful feeling of dreadful tightness in your lungs, you still let out a soft laugh “… I just… I don’t think that we should go out, you must be jetlagged…”.

“Actually, I got a bit of sleep on the plain… so… I am ready to dance all night” he mumbled softly, as he shifted closer to the door and you couldn’t help but be almost worried that he’d open it, but he stopped “… but if you aren’t feeling well… we could stay inside, order Greek food and watch whatever awful Netflix comedy you chose”.

He was trying to make you relax, he always used that deep soothing tone and tried his best to make you laugh.

‘You always look prettier when you laugh’ he smirked as he stole a kiss from your cheerful lips ‘…you also taste sweeter’.

“Yeah, I’d like that…” you commented softly “… work has just been crazy hectic and I just… ugh… don’t think that I could celebrate properly, but… we could go out tomorrow I swear that I’ll make it up to you”.

“Of course, sweetie” his tone was so soothing that it only made you feel guilty for having forgotten about it all.

If he broke up with you, you low key deserved it.

“… do you want to talk about work?”.

‘No, I want to set my boss on fire’ you would have wanted to mumble, but simply uttered:

“… wouldn’t want to annoy you, sweetie, you probably already had a hard…”.

“I have had a hard time not having you with me” he gently replied “… I don’t think that anything would be hard enough for me, if you stand by my side”.

A moment of silence made him waver and you felt him pushing himself back, doubting whether he had done the right thing or not.

“… if you feel like talking obviously”.

“The project…” you choked out “… it didn’t go well”.

“Oh sweetie” he almost seemed ready to rush in through the door, but he stopped himself, realizing that you needed this barrier, for a bit more “… you worked so hard for it”.

“Yeah… but Tara said that it had too much imprecisions, and I mean she is right… I should have worked on it a bit more! Gosh I just…”.

And then you were stopped as Bill pushed the door open, revealing your disheveled appearance and you immediately tried to hide yourself, but it was of no use, as Bill went through any resistance you had cradling you in his strong arms, raising you as if you weighted nothing more than a flower.

Touch usually made it all worst for you, but with Bill it felt like some kind of desperately nice sweater, the one that you wore on the rainy days as you cuddled a good book and a cup of hot cocoa.

It soothed you and made you cry even more, as you let all your tension ease through him, and he cuddled you closer gently adjusting you onto the counter of the sink.

He kissed your forehead tenderly releasing your hold onto him, as you instead brought him closer, needing to feel him.

In an almost desperate way.

He was such a grounding force to you right now that you just let yourself reveal to him your deepest side, the one that turned away everyone.

Except him.

He just cooed at you softly, as he kept you in his arms, pushing aside a few strands of drenched hair, as he kissed your neck, softly, a gentle touch.

“… whatever it is, you are not at work anymore, you are in our lovely home, the one that smells of those overpriced shit candles you like so so much” it made you snort a laugh “… you are safe, you don’t have to think about it”.

“The fact is…” and you could already picture his eyes having this shade of ‘what kind of psycho are you’ “… I can’t, I am just too anxious, and it makes me overthink everything”.

But instead Bill’s eyes scanned over your face before understanding settled in them.

“… you had an anxiety attack, didn’t you?”.

“I….” you breathed out all the air in your lungs “… how did you know?”.

“I have lived with you enough to know that you are a little anxious beastie” he commented softly “… you arrive always early, you always act so so stressed with deadlines, you panic badly if I leave you out to a party… I know that some things make you like that…”.

“And it doesn’t bother you?”.

“No” his breath was soft, and it hit your face in a way that warmed your cheeks “… I just… I just want to help you if I can”.

Everybody at this point always left you, no matter how much you promised to keep it under control or to change.

Nobody had ever asked to know how to make you feel better.

“Can… can you get my make-up remover…?” he stood a minute trying to internalize your phrase “… it is making my skin itch…”.

“Of course” and he turned, before sending you a quick look “…wait where is it?”.

And there it was your dorky boyfriend.

You just let out a laugh and told him where he could find it.

A few minutes and a Bill’s shirt later, you were indeed waiting for Greek food as you browsed through Netflix, and Bill joked about you rewatching ‘Hemlock Grove’.

‘… babe you can’t use your celebrity status to impress me, I have seen you in boxers with pigeons’.

‘Pigeons are cute’ he had mumbled as he had set beside you, pushing your head on his chest.

You had told him that his faint heartbeat was the perfect cure for your overworked body ‘… and I know that you are just nervous because you blush so so fucking much when Roman is on’.

‘… just because he is a dork’.

‘A sexy dork’.

‘Didn’t know you were a narcissist’.

And like that you quickly discarded your little banter in a more silent contemplation as you finally felt… at peace, calm, although you were mostly sweeping all your worry under your mug.

But with Bill you felt better, as he softly handled you, kissing you with the gentlest of touches, but not treating you as frail doll or looking at you like he was worried, he just had this natural nurturing way that made him so damnably sexy.

It made you bite your lips.

And it didn’t pass unobserved by him.

“… you, big cutie” he mumbled, a laughter making his chest raise softly “…stop being the most beautiful girl on Earth”.

As much as you loved silly Billy, you felt the need to set a few things straight.

“I am sorry for hiding it… all from you” you lowered your eyes, this time biting your lower lip for nervousness “… it is just…”.

“It’s ok” he spoke as if it was the most natural of things, as if you hadn’t just broken down as a mess in front of him “… I knew it… I mean I had my thoughts, but these are personal things, I wanted to wait for you to feel comfortable”:

“I didn’t want to hide it! It isn’t because I don’t trust you…”.

“I know” again that soothing tone, it made everything better, you swore it could cure world’s hunger “… I know that people didn’t make it easy for you, so I’ll make it as easy as I can”.

And with that he pulled you to look at him in the eyes, something that was difficult for you in that moment, overwhelmed by your senses.

But you pushed through, because you knew that whenever he needed to tell you something important, he needed to have your eyes in his, to make you know that he wasn’t lying to you.

“… when you need me, I don’t care if I am busy with shooting a movie or in the bathroom, pooping…” you smirked lightly “… you come to me and tell me what is happening and when you feel a bit better we can discuss what helps you and what I can do…”.

“Bill… I am sorry but I don’t want to bother you…”.

That was the wrong thing to say, because although Bill didn’t attack you, he stiffened lightly and grabbed your hands gently, turning them and bringing one and then the other to kiss your inner wrists.

“… you, little one, are never ever a bother” he spoke each word dauntingly meaningful “… you are the most precious things I have ever had in my life, anxiety included”.

“We are kind of package deal” you mumbled an awkward smile on your face.

“Then I got lucky, two for one” he joked, and you finally let out a soft laugh, punching him on his shoulder.

“You are a fucking idiot, my friend”.

“Don’t hit me, it’ll cost you, I am a miracle of nature”.

“Whatever you say Pennywise, the dancing clown”.

“Oh, don’t get me started”.

And as the tickling war started, the glimmering ring in Bill’s jacket just waited the right time.

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow would have been a better day.