#Bill Skarsgard Angst | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kingkat12 · 1 month

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Would you ever write some mean!dom!Roman? Maybe where the reader uses a safe word and his whole demeanour softens 🥹 would be so cute!

mean dom Roman... as in the plain old Roman we all know and love? ahahah hell to the YES??? thank u so much for ur request, I loved writing this sm!! hope u like it hihi

safe word (roman godfrey x reader)

WARNINGS: 18+, piv sex, quite rough sex (gets better dw), foul language, humiliation kink ish?, cum-play, he's so mean oof

summary: sex with Roman can be pure heaven, but it can sometimes feel like he wants to put you through hell... has hell ever felt so good?

word count: 2,276

"I-- I can't keep going," I held Roman close to me, letting out a small yelp against his neck as my hips moved away from his, aching and overstimulated.

Something was a little different about him today-- Roman usually gave me time to adjust to his length before completely ravaging me like this, but tonight was different. I had an inkling that it turned him on to hear me whimper beneath him like this, that he couldn't help but enjoy the way my walls fluttered around him in a mix of exhaustion and desperation.

"Aw," Roman breathed, his hand in my hair tightening as he spoke against my ear; "Too bad. Don't care."

I let out a small cry, my nails digging into his broad back. I knew I had a habit of getting overstimulated rather quickly, but I swore that something was different, I was sure of it-- was it maybe the fact that we had a little fight this morning? Did Roman need to take his frustration out on me like this? There wasn't any time to think about it, but there was one thing I could be sure of; and that was that Roman loved pushing me beyond the point of tears, and loved the way my eyes glossed over as they met his, looking like a complete and utter mess.

I spotted his growing smirk before he leaned down to kiss my neck, and I couldn't help but whimper at the force he was slamming his hips into mine. My broken noises didn't get any softer when my warmth swallowed him completely, feeling his cock go deep to the hilt. "Rome--" I let my head roll back down against my pillow, my legs wrapping around him as he continued his harsh thrusts. I knew he was being too rough with me, but the feeling of being pounded like this nearly turned me mute.

And weirdly enough, a part of me enjoyed it. Knowing that Roman had this power over me, the ability to make me feel nothing but engulfed by him, somehow made the pain subside into a darker pleasure than I was used to. Something about it felt... satisfactory.

Roman gripped my waist, nipping at my jaw as he let out a laboured grunt. I squeezed my eyes shut, crying out at the multiple sensations coursing through my veins as he murmured pure filth against my skin.

"Act like a brat and I'll treat you like a brat," Roman purred, biting down on my earlobe-- something told me he was enjoying himself a little extra tonight.

"Am not," was all I managed to say, whimpering as he continuously drove himself deep into me.

This was seemingly not the right thing to say-- Roman wasted no time roughly grabbing my cheeks in one hand, my lips parting as I stared up at him with eyes full of tears. "I'm sorry, what was that?" he asked, an apparent sadistic smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth.

I knew I would be in big trouble if I didn't stop going against him. "Sorry," My legs gave in to a quiver, wrapping around him even tighter as he let go of my cheeks. "Rome, please--" I didn't have time to finish my plea, letting out a loud whimper as he brought his hand down to press his palm against my lower abdomen, feeling himself rut into me. Roman let out a low, sinister laugh, clearly in awe at the sensation; I wanted nothing more than to hit him. But still, like a slave to the pleasure, I dug my nails further into his back instead, earning a rather lewd moan from him which usually was a rarity.

Roman's arms wrapped around my waist, moving me against him; despite how harsh he was being with me, I could at least find comfort in the closeness. My hard nipples brushed up against his chest, his lips pressing heated kisses against my body and mouth. Oh, the way he was holding me with complete and utter need-- if he hadn't been so harsh, I would've been floating around on cloud nine. "Please, Rome-- I really can't,"

With a grunt, Roman pulled his cock out only till the tip was left. I let out a sigh of relief; I had hope that he would maybe pull out, maybe take it easy on me, pity me, but I should've known better. It didn't take long before Roman drove himself back into me, my walls clenching around him as I cried out, hearing him let out a satisfied moan against my ear which had me shivering. "What was that?" he hummed, his grip around my waist tightening, almost as a warning. An ominous laugh escaped him, the green of his eyes practically engulfing me as he spoke; "Oh, baby, look at you... Are you crying? You asked for it, you know that, right?"

I could only whimper, a wave of oddly satisfactory defeat washing over me. Something about the way he was taunting me was making my stomach flutter. It felt as though I was completely submerged in everything Roman-- the dizzying scent of his cologne that I inhaled through my nose, his lips against my mouth and throat every so often, and his tongue against mine. It eventually became hard to breathe, and my eyes glossed over once more as Roman's thrusts grew rougher, taking more liberties than he would usually dare to.

"Try that again," he said, urging me on. It was obvious that Roman knew what I was trying to say, but he was being particularly mean today.

"I can't--" My words came out along with another cry, gripping onto him the same way he was gripping onto me. It felt as though today's session served as a reminder more than anything else; that I was his, no matter what, and that he would do as he pleased with me. Roman's rough thrusts grounded me, wordlessly telling me I belonged to him, and it made me feel as though he was diminishing my self-worth with every pump of his cock. It was starting to feel too rough, too raw; "Shit, wait, Rome--" I barely managed to get anything out without a stutter, burying my face against the bare skin of his broad shoulders.

Roman let out a laugh; "Aw, is someone getting sore?"

I could only whimper as he dug himself into me repeatedly, my whole body aching, my hips squirming away from him again-- Roman responded by grabbing me rather harshly, holding me down. I knew he wasn't going to let me go without a proper fight, without me saying the word, and that made more tears pool in my eyes.

"A-Aah--" My hands flew down to grab the ones he had on my waist, arching my back against the bed as my body started to reject his thrusts. I felt myself squirm, groaning in a mix of pleasure and pain-- I knew that I had to go for my last resort, despite never having had use for it before. "Red!" I cried out, my nails digging into his skin, a sob building in my chest.

In an instant, Roman froze up, his grip around my body lifting within a second. He propped himself up on his elbows as his widening eyes met mine-- it seemed he had only now registered what he was truly doing to me. "Sorry," he tried, reaching for my face with wary movements, shifting on the bed. "Too much?"

Sniffling, a single tear rolled down my face as I nodded, leaving behind a wet spot on my pillow.

"Fuck, look at you," Roman whispered, gently grabbing at my jaw, hoping to ground me. "Your heart is beating so fast... Should I pull out?"

I let out a shaky breath, holding back any other tears. I had never actually had to use the safeword before, and this whole experience was beyond dizzying. How could Roman go from being someone so mean, callous, rough, and then suddenly go back to normal?

"Hey, talk to me," Roman's thumb stroked my cheek, another attempt at bringing me back. "What can I do for you?"

Amid my daze, I was made aware of his cock still being inside me when it jerked upwards, throbbing involuntarily against my fluttering walls. Roman hissed, clearly conflicted between the feeling of pleasure and embarrassment; "Shit, sorry... It has a life of its own,"

Something about that made me giggle through my tears, a breathy laugh building in my chest. Seeing Roman like this, clearly out of his rough and mean state, made me ease up. The feeling of arousal was still coursing through my veins, burning in the tips of my fingers, aching between my legs-- I wasn't quite ready to stop. "If you promise to be gentle... I'd like to continue,"

With a relieved sigh, Roman leaned forward to press a sweet kiss against my forehead. "Of course," he whispered, nudging his nose against mine, his breath hot against my lips. "Let me make it up to you, hm?"

"Sounds good," I breathed, meeting his lips in a soft and open kiss, coming together like missing pieces of a puzzle, completely different from the way we had been kissing a minute ago. This felt so much better-- we were connected as one.

Roman pulled out of me, making sure to be careful. He grabbed my tear-stained pillow, placing it beneath my hips as he sat himself up on his knees. "I'll go easy on you, kid," he murmured, his thumb moving down to my clit, gathering my slick so that he could rub small, tight circles around it. "Gonna make you feel real good, okay?"

I let out a soft moan, my chest fluttering with warmth at his gentle touches. My eyes rounded out, meeting his with a newfound satisfaction and love.

Roman gripped himself with his free hand, rubbing his tip against my aching sex, a grunt slipping past his kiss-swollen lips as he slid back into me, the wet sound of our reunion making goosebumps appear along my skin. This time, he made sure not to go all the way into me, finally giving me time to adjust to his length.

Roman's thumb was still circling my clit with a toe-curling pressure as he found a nice, steady rhythm to keep at. From this position, I could watch as his usually styled hair fell in front of his green eyes, kissing his forehead as his lips parted in pleasure-- it was impossible to take my eyes off of him.

Roman's gaze was glued to the image before him, letting out a shaky groan as his fingers went up and down my stomach, taking in the view. During moments like these, I really felt like the most beautiful creature on earth; what other explanation could there be for how he was looking at me right now?

It didn't take long before I started to feel close-- we had been going on for so long that the softness of his demeanour had me closer to my climax much quicker than usual. Luckily, Roman knew me well enough to see the signs, recognizing the way my back arched, the way my hands reached for his. He intertwined our fingers with his free hand; "I have half the mind to keep you on the edge," he purred, a smirk reappearing on his lips.

I let out a broken whimper; "Please,"

"Please what?"

"Be nice,"

Roman chuckled, nodding to himself as he retreated his teases. He let go of my fingers to grab my hips, letting out a groan as my walls tightened around him; "Shit-- Okay, okay,"

Oh, I was so crazy about him. So, so in awe of Roman and everything that followed. Love-drunk words slipped past his lips as his thrusts pressed up against that special spot inside me, simultaneously keeping the tight pressure around my swollen clit, making me mewl out in desperation; "Close, fuck!--"

Roman let out a soft laugh as my fingers gripped his arm, digging into his skin as I clamped around him, wordlessly begging for my release. My heart pounded in my ears as he gave a few final thrusts, fucking me right into my orgasm; I writhed beneath him, a moaning mess, feeling satiated and complete. I bucked up against his hand, the post-coital overstimulation hitting me like a hard wave, letting out a few broken whimpers and silent pleas.

It didn't take a lot of begging for Roman's cock to twitch with his orgasm, and he pulled out with haste, letting out a string of soft grunts as ropes of cum decorated my stomach.

As our heavy breathing and panting filled the room, I reached out for Roman, who in turn lied down next to me, pressing a kiss against my cheek. I let out a relieved giggle, turning to connect our lips in a lazy, sweet kiss that had my whole body fluttering with warmth. Watching as Roman closed his eyes, sighing in exhaustion, my attention turned to the mess he had made on my stomach.

My hand dipped down into the pool of cum forming on my lower abdomen, coaxing my finger with a sly smirk; I brought it up to his lips, leaving a streak of the slick on his lip.

Normally, Roman would wipe it off with a grimace and eventually laugh it off.

However, today was different-- I had known it from the start. Roman leaned forward with a cheeky smirk, lazily connecting our lips, the taste of his cum lingering on my tongue throughout the remainder of the night.

I was sure he'd never admit to finding that hot, but I knew it. I was more sure of that than anything else.

#roman godfrey #roman godfrey x reader #hemlock grove #x reader #bill skarsgård #fanfic #bill skarsgard #fanfiction #oneshot #smut #toxic relationship #toxic love #angst with a happy ending #lmao this was so fun #roman godfrey fanfiction #hemlock grove fanfiction #aaaghhh the headboard in that gif #i want him so bad jesus

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twistedbloodstain · 1 year

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keith toshko x reader: and you feel like home. | what’s love for us?

plot: the one where keith meets the one.

warnings: grumpy! reader, sensitive language (just cursing yall), pining from keith, himself and there’s no happy ending. (ambiguous)

masterlist

keith watches her.

a sweet melody produced from the violin and the bow echoes from the cavernous hall. she sat on a monoblock chair as she played the tune printed on the sheet paper. fur elise dances through his ears as he stands on the second floor, mesmerized with her movements. her eyes were shut, but her hands were focused on the instrument on her hands, as if she and the object were one.

he watches her in admiration. he always enjoyed watching people play their thing, there was always a certain aura that passionate musicians bring whenever they were in their element. this was no different, he could feel the devotion radiating through the place as you played.

her posture was stiff and composed, like her grip on the musical instrument, her hands gripped the instrument almost too tightly as if it was bound to her like chains. but there was lovely passion it emitted, like the violin was her lifeline. she was focused, extremely focused. right now, no one could deter her from playing.

as the music slowly comes to an end, she flutters her eyes open and her shoulders relax. she gets up on her feet and reaches for her case slinged on the chair to delicately place the violin back to its proper space when unused, keith feels tempted to clap and applaud for her piece because indeed, it was beautiful but he was afraid he might come off as a creep stalking on you.

he was already awkward to talk to, fumbling and rambling his words and often saying the wrong things or being excessively blunt with who he was speaking to, it was all unintentional but if that wasn’t enough it would be really bad if he came across as another dude ogling at a girl from the second floor, primarily as it doesn’t leave a good impression when initiating conversation.

he’s supposed to leave but he can’t. there’s a pull in him that wants to converse with her even if he’s not really good with it, he can at least try. he always welcomed an exchange of a fellow musician’s words and talent. but he contemplated wondering how would he even approach her or what words he’d say to her that wouldn’t lead to an unpleasant strain floating through the air.

silence always meant neutrality. not in his case though, silence often deepened the grave of awkwardness, making him contemplate to himself with the next set of words he would say but only for the person he’s addressing to completely lose interest and cough up an excuse to leave.

keith knows how to converse, there are several people who are proof of that excluding his family. he has spoken comfortably and smoothly with strangers that sometimes lead to intriguing conversations, it’s just that when it comes to speaking with him. you need to be patient, to hear and listen to what he has to say. the people who lost interest when speaking to him were often straightforward people who rolled their eyes at his rambling which only makes him ramble even more, when he visibly sees their annoyance.

nevertheless,he does know his worth as a person. he knows that if they’re not interested with what he has to say then they’re not worth hearing it. but with you he might be willing to make an exception,he really wants to speak with you.

he decides to just wave at her when she turns around. simple. then maybe he can catch up on her at the exit, foolproof.

he feels like a wildlife photographer attempting to take a picture with a deer, except it’s a trap of conversation with little to no chances of failing.

his plan makes him smile, glad that somehow he might not fuck up his first impression with you but fate seems to always have it out for him, whenever he has a chance to do something simple in his life some inevitable force out there comes back to throttle his neck and ruin everything.

because before he can make the friendly gesture you’ve already turned around to face the sea of chairs and him on the terrace of the second floor. your face is slightly astounded from the sight of him, likely confused why he was watching you, staring at him hardly with a firm curiosity in your eyes.

for a moment keith panics and freezes from your stare, you don’t seem pleased to see him. out of dismay, keith suddenly raises his hand and waves, too eagerly.

you blink at him and raise your eyebrows then just gaze at him. like really hard, your frown deepens at his gesture, still frozen on your spot with bow and violin on hand. your frozen state is nothing out of shock though, not like a deer in headlights but something like a lion awakened from slumber in their cave.

as if that wasn’t making him more nervous than he already is, the worst thing is you made no friendly gesture to reciprocate his wave and he realizes that it basically cemented that his presence was unwanted by you.

he flinches on the inside and slowly backs away, he can feel your eyes wander on him as he disappears.

he stumbles through the rows of books in deep thought, searching for the specific textbook his friend asked him to fetch. he was already looking for it for the past thirty minutes, he began to doubt the sharp memory of the librarian since she mentioned that it would be easy to find. she’d told him that he’d find it nearly five rows behind, every row looking more and more ancient than his own grandparents.

as he trudged through, he couldn’t help but reminisce of what happened earlier. annoyance and shame filling his veins as he remembers the details of the short encounter.

idiot, of course she didn’t like that. why the hell would she wave back at a stranger? he muses to himself.

he realizes that maybe that approach didn’t seem as friendly as he'd envisioned in his head. perhaps, he should’ve done that somewhere closer so you wouldn’t immediately shut down his approach. your silence was quiet but it spoke volumes, there were always things that even words cannot do justice.

he checks the titles in the spines of the previous books he saw, maybe he missed it and he was already wasting his time. it’s not like he was in a rush, after all today was some sort of a self imposed day off. right now, he has all the time in the world. however the current shame he possessed right now made the day feel longer than it should be and the desire to hide himself in his room and sleep off the shame was tempting.

he hears the voices of students chatting about certain academic tasks or homeworks a terror professor had assigned and the footfalls of exhausted learners as they searched for a book containing a piece of information that the internet doesn’t offer. looks near impossible, but the chances are low but never zero.

he senses someone enter the aisle between the two rows of books, he doesn’t look back, probably another stressed out and sleep deprived college student that wants to drop out. he feels the individual walk past behind him, he focuses back to the books lined up on the shelf, double checking if he missed the proper textbook he was looking for.

he hears someone clear their throat.

he ignores it and focuses on the books.

dry throat, probably. likely, not trying to get his attention.

someone clears their throat again.

this time, he uninterestedly spares a quick glance to the source of that sound then returns to the textbooks.

wait.

holy shit.

he hastily snaps his gaze back up.

god, it’s you.

no. not like god from heaven.

but you. the one playing the violin earlier.

you stand several paces before him, with a strap across your torso, your violin case strapped behind your back out of his sight. your face is stern and unreadable, your hands clasped together in a composed structure.

his eyes widen and the hold he has with the books slowly weakens, almost dropping one of them on the floor. it’s not until he reminds himself that earlier he’d embarrassed himself to you and that cannot happen again. he won’t afford looking like a fool to you for the second time, once is a coincidence and twice is an insult.

his jaw slightly drops from shock and confusion, he blinks a few times to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating you because that would make it even worse and more embarrassing for him.

“hi.” he breaks the silence, slowly waving his hand to you for the second time that day.

you don’t return the gesture or verbalize a reply, for a second keith wonders if he actually conjured you out of thin air because of his shame with how quiet and still you are. which would be even weirder if he saw it as an opportunity to redeem himself, still unsure with the fact if you are standing in front of him right now.

“who are you?” you finally sternly ask, although not a greeting keith is glad that you’re actually speaking to him and he didn’t hallucinate you being here.

“i’m..keith.” he hesitantly replies at the strictness evident in your tone. as a friendly gesture he extends his hand for a polite handshake, you carefully eye his movement and stare at his hand then back at his face.

“..okay.” you mutter slightly in confusion, “you from here?” you question him, the strict tone maintained in your voice.

“um, no actually. i used to go here but..it was years ago.” he meekly replies ending with a chuckle to lighten the mood. your face slightly squints from that piece of information. he deduces that you are not currently studying here as well, maybe a college graduate just like him or a teacher. you didn’t seem too young to be fresh out of school or sleep deprived like most college students are.

in fact, you were confident, in a quiet sense. anyone could read that with the way you carried yourself. the effect that you carry was an accomplished and determined aura that radiated strong enough to momentarily stun everyone in the room and enough to catch someone’s pair of eyes and intimidate if you were to speak to them.

the polished and elegant impact you have oozes through every patch of skin you wield, it numbs him as well. your aura demanded the utmost attention like it was speaking to a god.

“that so? what are you doing here?” you follow up. keith starts to feel he’s being interrogated for information, he doesn’t know what goal you're aiming at but he’s happy to comply.

“just visiting with a friend.” he replies.

“i mean, what were you doing in the theater room?” you clear up, accentuating every word with intimidation as your voice hardens, you raise your eyebrow at him with your arms crossed.

you were definitely not making friendly conversation.

“i was just watching..you play.” he mutters softly, that isn’t something he’s proud of but it’s the truth. there wasn’t wrong with that, he hadn’t done anything wrong. it felt like being stabbed when you already didn’t look pleased to see him watching you play in the theater, any brunt of your irritation would definitely feel like twisting the knife.

“and?” you follow up.

“you played really great, to be honest.” he smiles as he compliments you. a sweet compliment for a pretty girl.

…get it together keith, he reminds himself.

“there.” you harshly point out, your voice slightly rising. keith’s eyes widened once again, with the burst of tone emitting from that single word. this makes him frown as the intended effect for that compliment gave an undesired result.

“what?” he asks out of confusion.

“you were watching me play. you said it yourself.” you assert to him.

“i was…i was watching you play fur elise. something wrong with that?” he repeats once again, still not catching your drift.

“oh? don’t play dumb with me. i know your fucking game, are you one of irene’s new toys for this month? you were spying on me for that good for nothing bitch!” you mercilessly yammer at him, this takes him off guard. shock and confusion envelops his senses as you quickly spit out your bitterness at him.

the deer didn’t fall into the trap and shot him instead.

why in the world were you accusing him of something deplorable? at least to you it seems, he doesn’t even know anyone named irene, much less spying for someone? completely absurd, you were borderline insane.

he always had this inside joke with himself where most violinists are insane overachievers, always seeking to please the almost high to perfect standards of their parents which lead them to seek and mold perfection into everything as they grow into their life. like the instrument, violins require a strict precision of understanding and time to master to achieve perfection, and like their parents they’ll need to hit the right tune to make their parents play the sweet sound of validation.

everything in their life from their image and daily routine must be flawless and according to their will. a single disruption that occurs to them completely throws them off track breaking down their walls revealing their uncontrolled anger.

anger for what he could not tell. but right now he could tell you might fit into that stereotype.

“hey-hey. i don’t know anyone named irene, i have no idea what you’re talking about.” he clears up as he explains to you and raises one of his hands.

“don’t fucking lie to me.” you retort in anger.

“miss. i don’t know what you’re talking about, i watched you because you did great. i did nothing wrong and i’m not lying to you.” he defends himself, at the end he couldn’t help but laugh. clearly, there’s nothing funny about invoking rage from someone but he laughed and honestly he shouldn’t have.

“are you laughing at me?!” your voice slightly raises, full of anger and fury. bad move, christ there’s literally a saying hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

“i’m-i’m sorry. i didn’t mean to, but i’m telling you the truth.” he shuts his laugh down and reassures you.

you stare at him and scoff. you eye him from top to bottom, your arms still folded on your chest. you turn away from him and walk away.

that went worse than earlier.

keith’s hand slowly shakes as he raises the glass of water to his lips, he takes a short sip of the water before delicately placing it back down. a friend inquires how he was and his current agendas in life, he politely answers a little more carefully with his words than he usually replies, his friend notices and laughs at this raising his eyebrow in a teasing suspicious manner, his eyes darting then nudging his head to the person to his right.

he hopes you don’t look at his friend. please don’t.

you were currently sitting across from him, knife and fork on hand as you nibbled away on your dinner, momentarily lifting your gaze at him. probably scrutinizing him as he sat across from the dinner table.

this was unexpected.

he couldn’t forget how wide your eyes went when you entered the dining room and saw him sitting beside your brother,

what were the chances of him eating dinner in your brother’s house? the chances of eating the dinner you and your brother made?

little…very little.

yet it’s happened.

fate really has it out for him.

earlier he was merely watching you play from yards and one floor away, you had him mesmerized and amazed with your musical talent, he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you even during the talk in the library.

you were even more magnificent to see up close with only a few meters away from him, albeit the exchange ended rather unpleasant but he feels like it’s something to be thankful for, maybe it’s your aura or words that have a magnetic pull on him to keep his attention focused on you and you only.

or maybe because he finds you really intriguing.

or maybe he’s festering a little crush on you.

whatever.

now you are at least half a meter away from him and he can’t bear to look upon you. he wants to look up, so badly. but whenever he sneaked a glance , his sight was greeted with a mouth turned into a frown and eyes full of judgment, it made him hastily drop his gaze back onto the plate of food in front of him.

you, your brother and another friend of his were seated by the table, it had been lively at first. intoxicating stories and diatribes filled the room that made him forget the awkward encounter he had earlier. it felt good to talk and listen with them. he got to know about the current stuff in their life and it was nice to catch up with them. it was nice to air out thoughts he felt during tight situations that he often shoved down into the back of his head.

he began to tell them about his encounter with a girl earlier, when a click of the door creaked through the hall. the voices in the dining room began to stop, the brother called someone into the living room but no reply indicated a presence aside from the sound of entry and the thudding footsteps clicking on the floor.

he knew that his friend had family currently living in the house, he was slightly pleased with the thought of meeting the anonymous member since his friend had spoken highly of them. he often guessed it might be a sibling or cousin but no further detail was given due to how sacred you saw privacy was to you, to recount his friend’s words he said,

“i can’t tell you more than that, we’re related but they’re insanely private. like obsessed with it, they don’t want anyone to know about them unless they had met you firsthand but you’re meeting them tonight. think you’ll like them the most keith.” he says with a smile at the end.

who was to doubt that? he liked that friend very much and if this privacy obsessed mysterious person was someone he would’ve liked then it shouldn’t be a problem.

he had this vision that this stranger might be a welcoming and sweet person that would be easy to get along with, like his friend. he expected someone shy and anxious like most privacy obsessed people are. people, who are frightful of people getting to know them so hopefully it wouldn’t feel forced and still he was eager to meet said person.

but then you went through the door and broke his fantasy.

he feels his heart drop and his throat go dry.

your feet stay stationary by the entrance of the dining room, the voices of his peers slowly tuning out his ears as dread and shame sinks into his gut. your eyes filled with curiosity and sternness. once again his presence was unwelcome to you.

your right hand clasps your left wrist as you redirect your attention to his friend who is making his way to you. the formal stature you’ve reformed yourself to, soon cracked as his friend greets you to a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

oh god. had he been crushing on a friend’s girlfriend? he panics.

of course you had a boyfriend, even he was smitten with you before he even spoke a word to you. he wasn’t the only one attracted to the way you carry yourself, the way you spoke and the way you played. it had left his mind as the unexpected interactions with you jumped into his face.

his friend places his hand on your shoulder, further cementing his assumption that you two were together, until his friend speaks.

“boys, this is my lovely sister.” he cheerily introduces, “that’s james and that’s keith.” he adds, gesturing to the both of them.

his friend that remained sat on the chair, james greeted you and waved as you turned your gaze at him, when it was his turn he couldn’t help but force a tight smile for you, gripping the cutlery from discomfort.

he waits for you to speak as you take them in.

he doesn’t know what to expect from you. he doesn’t know what you were going to say.

he slightly expects you to call him out as the guy earlier in the theater and in the library. he expects you to confront him and maybe…just maybe kick him out of the house.

“i don’t think you’ve ever mentioned them to me.” you utter out.

he exhales.

okay, maybe he can salvage this.

but salvage what exactly?

your brother laughs at this and insists he did. he jokes about you being too immersed in your current engagements while he was talking about them, he motions for you to sit down with them.

now he found himself sitting across from you.

the dinner he previously enjoyed now felt like acid in his mouth as he forced it down his throat. your presence had shocked him to his core, as much as he wants to relish in this get together. the sight of you made his hands shake and his heart beat a little faster than normal.

he feels like a child when he’s around you.

that somehow and somewhat the way he breathes is wrong to you.

you reach out for the pitcher of water near him, he grabs it and you look up on him in surprise. your eyes dilate from his sudden movement and you stare at him for a while. thankfully, james and your brother were busy talking with each other and they didn’t notice the both of you.

you were still hesitant of him. that’s okay, he understands.

right now, you probably saw him as a stalker that creeped on you while playing the violin and you were probably frightened that he was now in your house and your brother’s friend.

you slowly present the intricately designed glass cup in your hand, he smiles to himself at this while he pours the water into your cup. you quietly thank him and resume eating your meal.

maybe he can fix this. maybe the both of you can talk this out.

the next time he sees you is at a christmas party, back in your house.

he knows much more about you during that and he saw you several more times when he visited your place. the interactions were much more polite and courteous compared to the first and second time.

people have always been greedy. greedy for money, power and for love, it turns them into monsters when greed looms behind them, because of that he’s learned to be content with what he hashas and know the differences between greed and ambition.

so why does he want to hear more of you?

yes, the both of you are “talking.” if you count simple pleasantries and courtesies but it feels forced and unpleasant for you. he feels like you’re only speaking but not talking, if that makes sense.

the heavy chatter of conversation is present through the living room, he notices a few friends and some of your family speaking away to their peers.

you aren’t there.

i mean, you were but you left,when people started to surge into the room.

you don’t like crowds.

and loud noises.

a grain of what your brother told you was true, you are privacy obsessed. no wonder you’re absent in the living room.

keith’s not talking to anyone right now,

not when you’re the person he wants to talk to and the only person he knows other than your brother.

he’s also drunk.

he’s been sitting here for several minutes hoping you’d come down to the living roomroom and maybe he could catch up with you.

he contemplates just leaving,seeing that you’re not going to come down.

before he can get up to leave, he hears a soft tune above the room. it’s you.

he knows it is.

he looks around and looks around but nobody except him seems to hear it, too immersed in conversation to hear the sound of the gates of heaven above them.

he slowly gets up with his drink in hand and makes his way to the stairs. he’s getting alcohol induced to function and think properly, he doesn’t get this bold much.

he softly walks up making sure not to step on the creaking wood of the stairs, as the tune sounds more clear to his ears. he doesn’t know where he’s headed but all he knows he needs to hear it.

it’s like a siren’s song to a weak-willed sailor, like a sleeping beauty being lured into her demise as he gets to the second floor and follows the sound of music to one of the rooms. once he realizes that he might be entering your room, he stops his movement and opts to just listen outside. he can learn to be content with the small opening of your door as long as he hears you play.

he leans his back to the wall, relishing in the piece as you come to an end. this forces him back to reality and realizes he needs to go should you come out of the room. he’s had a taste of your anger and rejection, he doesn’t need a spoonful again.

“you can come in.” a voice calls out.

he freezes, you know he’s there. he wonders if he should speak up or keep his mouth shut for a while and leave or come inside to you. he decided the former, so much for wanting to talk to her that he chickens out in the chance she’s given him.

“are you gonna come in or not?” you said getting annoyed with the lack of his reply.

fuck, fuck, fuck. how did you know? he’s sure he was silent when he made his way up here. did you have an extra set of senses he wasn’t aware of? you didn’t notice him the first time, what made you notice it now?

he’s still frozen on his feet, in a deep dilemma with what to do next. he keeps his eyes on the wall in front of him and doesn’t make a single sound.

“hey.” the voice calls out again.

he keeps quiet.

until something makes contact on his shoulder. a nudge. someone nudged him.

he looks back and sees you beside the door. in all your glory, your hand on the door knob slightly opening it for enough space for someone to pass through. he didn’t hear you walk up or the door creaking for entry. your eyes were on him, gone was the scrutiny and judgment but the annoyance was still there with a tinge of softness.

you look beautiful.

you look..nice, his breath hitches on his throat as his words are unable to leave. you stare at him in confusion so he walks in, with no words to reply at you.

as he enters he sees your bedroom, some clutter on the floor he notices your violin perched on the chair and some books scattered on the ground. he looks back and sees you standing there, motionless and silent.

he waits for you to say something before he does something. you leisurely make your way towards him and he stands to the side to make way for you. you don’t say anything as you kneel down into the floor and start opening the books with the lamplight on the side table illuminating luminescence for light reading.

“you can sit down.”

keith contemplates where to sit down. on the floor with you? on your bed? or on that loveseat beside the side table. keith decides to sit down next to you, just to be polite.

silence fills the air into your room. none of you speak a word, too nervous or too awkward to converse. keith realizes that this is the third time the both of you were alone and the second time you sought his company.

he assumes that his presence doesn’t agitate you, at least right now. right now, he’s sitting on the floor, his knees pressed up to his chest and his drink abandoned beside him.

you flip through the books,your back in front of him as you knelt. he notices that they were fictional books. mostly filled with fantasy as he observes the whimsical glossy covers full of intricate symbolism of medieval and magical content. bright tabs are trapped between the pages, you’ve read them before, he realizes. he doesn’t see any books that he’s read before, all unfamiliar to him maybe he can introduce you to a few jane eyre books if you haven’t read them yet.

he perceives that you know his eyes are on you. you look back at him and stare at him. devoid of emotion but there was softness seen in it, keith fiddles with the button of his shirt, nervous under your gaze. you observe this and return your attention to the books.

“keith.” you call out to him.

“..yeah?”

“i wanted..i wanted to apologize. for what i said the other day.” you apologize to him.

keith is..a bit stunned. he expected you to just shove and forget it ever happened considering it had happened a few months ago. your apology has taken too long to arrive, making him assume it would never arrive yet it has just appeared, it’s in your lowly illuminated room and won’t face him.

“it’s okay.” he replies, not adding much to it. what was there to say? you were rude to him that day, for someone to randomly accuse you of something you didn’t do.

“no, it’s not.” you retort, suddenly facing him.

“honestly, it’s okay. i don’t mind.” he assures you. it kinda hurts, he has time to thank for that since it doesn’t ache as much.

“well, you should mind.” you whisper to him as you scoot your way towards him. keith moves over to make space for you on the floor.

holy shit. you’re moving close to him. to him.

the both of you stay silent for a while. your backs pressed on the footboard of your bed. your legs crossed and his remaining pressed to his chest. silence is good. right now it is, the silent aftermath of your apology was like serenity after the storm.

“who’s irene?” keith asks out of nowhere.

your head snaps at him and your face turns unpleasant, like he said the spell to break the curse. forcing you to tear apart your walls and reveal yourself, fuck maybe he did that too early. if you didn’t hate him then maybe you surely do right now.

the burst of anger never comes. you shakily take a breath and ask him.

“you..really don’t know her? irene?” you question your voice slowly getting lower. he’s not sure if he’s seeing this correctly but he can see your eyes slowly tearing up. a sheen of glossiness fills your eye. this was much worse.

you were crying. crying, because of him.

fuck. fuck. fuck.

“i don’t.” he responds honestly, he doesn’t know how to comfort you other than offering you the truth. touching you was certainly out of the table, you look at the floor and toy with the edges of the skirt of your dress.

“fuck it. i really hope you’re telling the truth.” you mutter, “irene was…a friend. we used to play in the same orchestra together, until there was this new first chair position for the theater nearby the campus,” you add.

“i was going to audition for it. so i practiced, i put it a lot of blood,sweat and tears for this piece of..fucking wood. only for it to be botched, by her.” you explain anger and annoyance oozing your tone.

“you wanna know the worst part about that? there was this guy i liked and he’d insist on watching me play and i found it so sweet. i told him all about the audition and everything i was going to do…and he fucking told her.” you ramble, “turns out they were fucking each other, before i found out he stalled me on the day of the audition and the moment i arrived, she was playing. same fucking piece, on my fucking time.”

“i’m sorry. you don’t deserve that.”

“it’s not an excuse for my actions that day but it’s a reason why i’m..wary of everyone around me. especially people who loom on the second floor watching me play. it’s..just that..” you exhale, “ever since that happened i feel angry with everyone, that i didn’t see that coming, that i couldn’t prevent it.” you expound to him.

“i get it, but there’s no way you could’ve” he reassures, you frown at him and scoff “i mean, they had it out for you too.” he adds to his defense.

“it doesn’t matter, i shouldve watched out for myself. there were signs and i was too fucking stupid and lovesick to see it.” you retort, “and i feel more fucking dumb because i look insane when i think someone’s after me, and i just can’t help it because i don’t feel..safe.”

“i understand but it’s not your fault. sometimes people want to bring down great people.” keith does. he had invaded your private space and laughed at your reaction in the library, his invasion and amusement was probably like a flash of the past to your eyes.

the most precious thing to you was ruined by jealous assholes, something that should make you feel free and strong has turned you vulnerable.

“i understand the entire thing but..don’t you think it’s unlikely to happen again?” he ponders to you. the next thing almost breaks him apart.

you smile at him for the first time and it’s the saddest thing ever.

your smile doesn’t reach your ears, it’s sad and remorseful before you deliver the blow.

“it happened more than once.” you quietly say to him.

keith can’t believe his eyes sometimes.

you’re in his apartment for a new year’s day party.

the both of you seemed to have found the floor with his arm searching under the couch for his wallet that got kicked in during the party while you were sweeping the diverse color of confetti splayed on the floor.

he can’t believe that you’re here with him. not that the help is unappreciated but he hadn’t expected you to silently volunteer to come and stay over to help clean up.

he’d invited you, your brother and james to his little party. he was quite ecstatic when he saw you come through the door along with some fancy wine that your brother insisted “bought together” which you rolled your eyes at.

you friendship is better than ever. there was a visible development that he expected that might’ve happened in years but occurred in weeks. in the days after your brother’s christmas party, you two have shared your interest for books and he had attended a few of your shows nearby. sometimes when he came over at your brother’s house you two would talk about stuff…mostly about other people with a few sneaks of memories from the past.

although you were still quiet with him, it wasn’t out of disinterest but simply because you’re quiet and you have nothing to say to him. if you did have something to say you never keep it shut. that was nice and keith actually feels like the both of you are getting somewhere ever since you confessed your unpleasant past to him.

after dinner and some words exchanged while hours passed by, everyone found themselves searching for their which keith did not hold up against them. however when he thought everyone had left, he heard a clink of bottles on the floor in the living room and as he went to check it, he saw you quietly cleaning up the mess.

he called out to you saying that you should go home and he’s got the entire mess covered but you simply ignored him as his words fell on deaf ears.

keith finally feels the familiar leather of his wallet then pulls his arm out of the couch and sighs then reaches for the half finished wine on the coffee table. he calls out to you and urges you to come over.

the both of you are exhausted and should probably rest. he can clean all of this up tomorrow.

you look back at him and hesitate, you don’t look at him like before anymore. there was no annoyance and anger, just softness. it was still devoid of emotion, he thinks that you’re not sure how to behave yourself around him with the fact that first, he wasn’t family and second he’s not an opponent of yours.

to you, he’s just keith.

keith, the guy who likes to watch you play and applauds you every time you finish playing. keith who's been to one of your shows and sometimes treats you to an ice cream session after the event then sometimes shares his favorite parts during the event. keith, the dude who lets your borrow his stash of books and lets your share your thoughts on them for hours and hours. you share to him the parts of the story you liked and your criticisms from the plot.

keith, the guy who has a crush on you.

but you don’t know that, at least he hopes you don’t.

you walk over to him and plop yourself on the floor, next to him. he takes a chug of the wine from the bottle before passing it over to you. you reluctantly take it from him and take a drink, he wipes his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt before setting it down on his lap.

“did you like the party?” he inquires.

“yeah, the food was nice. did you make it all by yourself?” you reply full of curiosity.

“i had a few friends help me over.”

“wise.”

silence occupied them again. a comfortable kind of silence though, the type that didn’t make him feel like he’d said or done something wrong. the time both of you spent together had warped the dynamics of your friendship. you weren’t judging him when you were silent just unsure with what to do, something he picked up along the way.

“how did your date go the other day?” you ask.

your talks together began with your simple interests to the current agendas shared from both ends, he can’t remember if he had told you about it or if you overheard from your brother.

“i don’t think i remember telling you about that.” he chuckles at your question.

“you didn’t, i overheard it from him.” you answer with no remorse.

“overheard? eavesdropping on me aren’t you?” he teases, you immediately scoff and retort in your defense,

“he has a big mouth that keeps chattering day and night. i bet our neighbors know about your date too.” you retort with a little joke at the end. he laughs at this and you chuckle with him.

“well shit. i don’t need your entire neighborhood knowing i’m a loser.” he jokes.

“she shouldn’t have done that.” you frown at his jest and comment when your laughter dies down. keith looks at you from that disclosure and disappointment emerges into his head again.

“well..some things just don’t work out and that’s okay.” he shakes off the dismay from his failed date.

“i mean she could’ve at least informed you she wasn’t going to show up.” you reply ignoring his words,

“why do you sound more angry than i am? what in the world did she ever do to you?” he teases again in false wonder. you scoff at this and face him, clasping his arm with a tight grip.

“you’re a good person, keith.” you state.

“sure, i didn’t see it right away but-that doesn’t matter, anyways what i’m trying to say is that, you’re always too eager to see the good in people. too forgiving that you ignore your own grievances. that’s not okay.” you whisper looking into his eyes.

“i think that eagerness led you here.”

“i know and i’m thankful for that. i’m glad that you’re my friend, i’m glad you gave me a second chance but forgiveness is a two way street. i earned your forgiveness because i confessed my mistake and apologized. you don’t even wait for an apology before you hand out forgiveness!” you exclaim. keith tries to speak but you interrupt him.

“i know you probably think it’s naive and stupid.” he jokes and looks away, not wanting to delve into the topic of conversation.

“i never said that.” you gasp slightly in mortification, you grasp his jaw and force his gaze back to you.

��i know that we should be kind and that holding on to anger doesn’t lead anywhere good but you don’t deserve that. you deserve so much better and things sweeter than life.”

he already has something sweeter than life.

you.

you make every pleasure in life look dull the moment he sees you enter his sight.

he knows you’ll never be his, he can never have you because you’ll never have him. it’s okay, he’ll learn to be okay.

“yes ma’am.. i will listen to that.” he smiles,

you smile at him and it’s so sweet, he wants to hold you and twirl your hair. he wants to be with at all times, so he can see you and watch you play. he wants to know every minute detail about you. he’s just filled with this yearning to love you. he hoped that his affection might dwindle down as soon the platonic structure of friendship hit him on the face.

but the deeper your friendship delved into the more he fell for you. he always said to himself and to others that what he felt for you was just a fleeting moment, he knows he shouldn’t feel anything like this because he knows that you won’t reciprocate his feelings. he knows that he’ll just get hurt and he should stop it at once.

but how? how could he have known?

how could he prevent it when stars glimmered in your eyes as if they were jewels glimmering in the sky? how can he call it fleeting when he fell for you the moment he saw you in the theater?

he exhales and smiles at you.

and shoves his feelings back down.

and tried to forget how his heart beats for you.

you scoot closer to him than you already are, his breath hitches in apprehension with how near you are to him. he takes you in all your glory, he can smell the sweet scent that you carry that used to intimidate him but now brought comfort and safety to him.

you smell like home.

he’s afraid you might hear the heartbeat in his chest that is pumping so loud now that it’s source comes closer and closer to him, like a moth to a flame he’ll burn out if you come any closer to the warmth of your body.

he’s afraid that if you see his fidgeting and breathlessness you might catch up on him and realize he’s in love with you.

he can never let you know that.

not when he sees how far your relationship has developed, not when you’ve welcomed him into your world, not when you’ve shared some of your secrets with him.

not when you make feel complete when you’re within his reach.

he can’t afford to lose all of that in a single stroke of words. he can never confess to you because he doesn’t know how you’ll take it, but he can only assume the worst. he can only assume that you’ll refuse him.

a popular and encouraging saying that’s often associated in his situation “the worst thing she could say is no.” is incorrect. the worst thing you could say is to turn him away and break your friendship. you would leave his life and he would have to go back living it without you. how can he do that?

and the worst part? he’s not even sure you’d even bother to say all that. he’s half sure you would abandon him with no message or explanation but your silence would speak enough more than those four words could ever say.

you don’t want him.

he can’t go back to that, your tranquility used to bring him anxiety but as time progressed it brought him solace and he felt like he could be himself with you, his stuttering and apprehensiveness had disappeared and you greeted it with eagerness.

he’ll keep it down for you. he’ll shut his mouth if you ever fall in love with someone and he loses his chance with you, he’ll keep quiet because it means having you. the best thing he ever gave you was making you feel safe around him. he can never afford to let the opposite happen in the future.

because that means staying in your life and yours in his. it means keeping you close and that’ll keep him happy enough.

it has to.

he feels something on his lap, more like someone. a tingling sensation wrangling itself to his hands, he looks down and sees a glint of jewel shining back at him. he realizes it’s your adorned hand, he looks back up at you where you’ve laid your head on his shoulder.

you feel his gaze on you, you always do and look back at him in curiosity expecting him to say something. keith doesn’t know what to say, he’s afraid that he might spill his heart out to you with the recent train of thoughts his mind has occupied, so he smiles at you.

you smile in return and he wishes he could he could see that forever.

his hand is tangled with yours as he lays his head back on you.

a life with you is all he wants.

he wants to stay like this with you forever, just the both of you indulging in each other’s company and living life with no abandon.

keith watches you.

you squeeze his hand three times to make sure he’s alright.

he squeezes it back in return.

“happy new year’s keith.” you mutter to him and pull your head back under him as he looks at you. you bring yourself to him and softly press a kiss on his cheek, with your hand on his jaw.

keith does his best to hide his surprise as he feels happiness burst inside him. you put your head back to its previous stance along with your hands. keith does the same.

this is okay. this is perfect.

love isn’t always butterflies and grand gestures with happy endings but sometimes love can be wine drunk, holding each other’s hands and splayed on the floor next to confetti.

and pain.

there’s still love even if it’s gut wrenching pain.

author’s note: this took so long i’m so sorry. i had a keith brainrot before my exam and it had to go because i need to pass. (which paid off : D ) i couldn’t choose a happy or sad ending because..i want to. jk i can’t envision a smooth sailing path for keith and the reader because it really needs to take some time and CONFESS. they don’t know how to act on that because they’re careful around each other with the rough start they began with. or maybe because i just wanted to write about a pining keith and an oblivious reader that doesn’t know how to manage their feelings. i am a staunch believer of finding ur lover in a friend soo anyways thank you for reading and feel free to like and reblog!

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dazedvivenne · 8 months

Text

REQUEST ARE OPEN!!!

WHO DO I WRITE FOR?

I currently write for

Rafe Cameron

Kevin Khatchadourian

Henry Bowers

Patrick Hockstetter

Donnie Darko

Bill skarsgard (characters + him)

Drew Starkey (+ Any other character of his)

Negan Smith

Tate Langdon

Kit Walker

James Patrick March

Kai Anderson

Kyle Spencer

Darry Jenner

IF you have someone specific in your mind, request it and I will try my best to write it!

WHAT DO I WRITE?

Literally everything, I have to no limits so go crazy.

Please go request something about your favourite character <3

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starboye · 1 month

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movies

(fics ive made)

*updated regularly

smut = ★

angst = 🏹

fluff = 🍥

Rafe Cameron-

First Timer★

Dealer!Rafe Cameron★

The Cameron Boys★

A Night to Remember★

Please be Mine★

Satisfaction★

Sleepy Convos★

Risky Call★

Morning Rafey★

Jj Maybank-

Yard Worker!Jj Maybank★

Double Team★

Nate Jacobs-

jealousy, jealousy★🏹

brat★

A Feeling Unknown🍥

My Cum Toy★

Nick Nelson-

Cheater★🏹

Cheater pt2★🏹

Cheater pt3★🏹

Cheater pt4🏹

Charlie Bushnell-

Fair Date★🍥

Vinnie Hacker-

Streamer Head★

Drunk Fun★

Sly Boy★

Birthday Present★

Bryce McKenzie-

Addicted★

Kj Apa-

Model★

Breed Me★

Free Use★

Baby By Me★

Matt Sturniolo-

Beach Day🍥

Morning Horny★

Quickie★

Movie Night Teaser★

My Nerdy Boy★

First Time★

Harry Collett-

Video game Lover★

Charles Leclerc-

Need Love★

Chris Sturniolo-

Gamer🍥

Movie Night Gone Right★

You're Mine★

Overstimulation★

Stream Tease★

David Corenswet-

Daddy's Boy★

Manu Rios-

Work For It★

Harry Styles-

Make Up or Make Out★🍥

Ross Lynch-

Double Trouble★

Dylan Minnette-

Double Trouble★

Shower Time★

Steve Rogers-

First Date★🍥

The Boys-

Table Talk★

Drew Starkey-

Hot Jealousy★

An Award of my Own★

Your Brothers Best Friend★

Nico Greetham-

Sweaty Love★

Noah Beck-

Rough Love★

Chris Hemsworth-

My Boy★

John B-

Double Team★

Prince Henry-

My Good Side🍥

Ryan Reynolds-

Tease★

Brady Hepner-

Wild Side★

My Use★

Sam Golbach-

Newly Weds★🍥

Colby Brock-

Newly Weds★🍥

Tanner Buchanan-

Edged★

Chris Evans-

Lesson Learned★

Ryan Garcia-

Breakfast in Bed★

Ethan Landry-

Ghost 🏹

Eijiro Kirishima-

Gamer Fuel★

Katsuki Bakugo-

Gamer Fuel★

Jacob Elordi-

Free Use★

Jack Harlow-

A Want★

Scott Summers-

Time Fucked★

Stiles Stilinski-

A Dream Cum True★

Richard Madden-

Work Pet★

Steve Harrington-

Gay For You★

Hughie Campbell-

Shy Boy★

Bellamy Blake-

Supply Collectors★

Jensen Ackles-

Hard Worker★

Prince Ben-

New Kid★🍥

Harry Hook-

New Kid★🍥

Rudy Pankow-

My First Time★🍥

Simon "Ghost" Riley-

Bf Headcanons★🍥

Phone Sex★

A Gift★

Captain Price-

Bratty★

Chace Crawford-

Co-Star Fun★

Bill Skarsgard-

Affair★

Dick Grayson-

Wounds★🏹

Robby Keene-

Winner Winner★

Noah Centineo-

Bed Breaker★

Jake Gyllenhaal-

Spiderman Far From Done★

Tom Holland-

Spider Man Far From Done★

Wolverine-

Fucked Senseless★

Hole Used★

Deadpool-

Hole Used★

Joe Goldberg-

My Husband🏹

Lip Gallagher-

New Feeling🍥

Rome Flynn-

My Bitch★

Joe Burrow-

Letting Off Some Steam★

Charles Melton-

Gym Bros★

#masterlist #star talks #x male reader

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queenbeerps · 8 days

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hey, hi, hello! i haven't been on this blog in a century, but the writing bug has bitten me. SO, this is me reaching out for some 1x1 partners. i write on discord or here on tumblr. i greatly prefer doubles and mumus and i write m/f and f/f ships. i prefer one to two solid paragraphs for reply length, as well. right now, i'm craving both original plots and some specific fandoms (mostly oc x cc!) : the walking dead, stardew valley, stranger things, glee, and dead by daylight. but i could be persuaded into some modern disney stuff. anyway, i'm putting a bunch of details for what i'm looking for specifically under the cut! so go ahead and like this and i'll reach out or feel free to message me. thanks! ʚ♡ɞ

below i have listed some specific cravings i'm having at the moment. i am happy to double and give you whoever you'd like in return! i have bolded the role i'd like to play. if there are no bolds, i'll play either.

FANDOM WANTS --

♡ THE WALKING DEAD ;

female oc x negan. (BIG HUGE WANT.) female oc x siddiq. female oc x rick. female oc x shane.

♡ STARDEW VALLEY ;

female farmer oc x sam. female farmer oc x sebastian. female farmer oc x alex. female farmer oc x leah.

♡ STRANGER THINGS ;

female oc x billy. female oc x steve. female oc x hopper. chrissy x eddie.

♡ GLEE ;

female oc x sam. female oc x finn. quinn x puck. quinn x finn. mercedes x sam.

♡ DEAD BY DAYLIGHT ;

meg x nea. kate x dwight. sable x mikaela.

ORIGINAL CHARACTER WANTS --

♡ PLOTS ;

crime plots of all types. a plot based on the movie 'sweet home alabama'. plots based on taylor swift songs. big city mumu. apocalypse mumu. anything with a good mix of fluff and angst! (legal) age gap plots.

♡ WANTED OPPOSITES ;

jeffrey dean morgan, dacre montgomery, joe keery, michael b jordan, george mackay, andrew lincoln, m shadows, john boyega, theo james, jon bernthal, bill skarsgard, zacky vengeance, henry cavill, gregg sulkin, avi nash, jack quaid, adam driver.

#1x1 rp #1x1 #discord rp #fandom rp #twd rp #stranger things rp #stardew valley rp #glee rp #dbd rp

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dilfsxysh · 3 months

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NAVIGATION

me ⇨ im a new-ish writer and go by she/her. i also dont have a laptop at the moment so all of this is written on my phone, thus meaning there will be vigorous spelling mistakes.

my work ⇨ ill write what i want and what people request as long as its not weird. ill write smut, fluff, and angst for anyone. and youre all responsible for what you read, not me.

༻༺

MASTERLIST

jake gyllenhaal (and most of his characters) -

james franco -

josh hutcherson (and most of his characters) -

- envy

rick grimes -

glenn rhee -

daryl dixon -

finnick odair -

simon ‘ghost’ riley -

aaron taylor johnson -

penn badgley / joe goldberg -

evan peters -

idris elba -

tom hardy (and some of his characters) -

ryan reynolds / deadpool -

daniel kaluuya / oj haywood -

bill skarsgard -

aaron hotchner -

matthew gray gubler / spencer reid -

chris / matt sturniolo 😭 -

markiplier -

zach tinker / jacob custos -

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foolishmortalmuses · 5 months

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I'm Kacy! I'm 30 and use she/her pronouns. My timezone is EST. If you're interested in interacting, please be over the age of 21. This is what I'm comfortable with, so please respect that. All of the muses I write have real life faces to them. I do not write with those who use cartoons or drawings. It's just not something that I'm comfortable with and I'm sorry if this is a dealbreaker for you. I typically write anywhere from 1 paragraph or 2 and up. It all depends on the vibe and what I'm doing in that moment. I work in an office, so most of the time, I can get replies in with at least a paragraph or two. I write in third person, past tense. I will not write with someone who writes in first person, it's just a preference. I only write on discord, so please keep that in mind when reaching out. Some faces I want to write AGAINST: Nick Jonas, Luke Newton, Andy Biersack, Spencer Charnas, Logan Henderson, JDM, Sebastian Stan, Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddleston, RDJ, Harry Styles, Bill Skarsgard, Hayden Christensen, Joe Keery, Jonah Hauer-King, Dacre Montgomery, Demi Lovato, Rhea Ripley, Travis Kelce, Seth Rollins, Jon Moxley, Seth Edeen, Tyler Seguin. Faces I will USE: Alexa Bliss, Caylee Cowan, Demi Lovato, Josephine Langford, Gracie Gillam, Grace Van Dien, Kathryn Newton, Barbie Ferreira, Chris Evans, Logan Henderson, Sydney Sweeney, Joe Jonas. I'm open to others, as long as I am comfortable with using them and know who they are. Fandoms I will write: Glee, One Tree Hill, Degrassi, The Walking Dead, Stranger Things, Reality TV, Fire Country, Grey's Anatomy, but I'm looking for fandomless things right now. Plots/Themes I enjoy writing: Mafia, Angst, Horror. I have very few triggers, so I'm always up for discussing those as well as your own. We can plot some messy things and I would love you forever for it.

RULES. MUSES. WANTED PLOTS.

If you're interested in plotting, feel free to message me and I will get back to you from there. Talk to you soon!!

#discord roleplay #discord 1x1 #oc roleplay #discord mumu #oc rp

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peachy-princess777 · 5 days

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Hi!! Could you do some angst that ends in fluff with Bill Skarsgård, please?🫣👉🏻👈🏻 And thank you💖

I hope this is good enough, darling,I truly don't believe I'm good at writing angst but believe me,I tried 😭

You stood in the kitchen, your eyes glazed over as you stared at the clock. Its hands ticked away the seconds with a mechanical indifference that matched your mood. The walls of the apartment felt like they were closing in on you, the air thick with the scent of leftover dinner and unspoken accusations. You had noticed Bill's peculiar behavior for weeks now, his late nights at work and his sudden need for "space." Your stomach churned as you replayed your last conversation in your head, his evasive answers and the way he avoided your gaze. You knew something was wrong, but you didn't know what, perhaps he was actually working later and not just making an excuse to go see another-.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the front door opening. Bill's footsteps echoed down the hallway, and you could feel his presence before you saw him. He looked tired, his eyes weary, but when he caught sight of you, a forced smile spread across his face. "Hey, babe," he said, trying to sound cheerful. You didn't return the smile. Instead, you folded your arms across your chest, a silent challenge. "We need to talk," you said, your voice firm and unwavering.

Bill sighed heavily, dropping his keys on the counter. He ran a hand through his hair and nodded. "Okay," he agreed, following you into the living room. He sat down on the couch, his posture tense, as if bracing for impact. You took a seat opposite him, the coffee table acting as a barricade between you both. "What's been going on with you?" you asked, trying to keep the accusation out of your voice. "You've been so distant lately, and I can't help but think that there's something you're not telling me."

He took a deep breath and leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. "Look, I'm sorry," he began, his eyes searching yours for understanding. "I've just had a lot on my plate with work, and I didn't want to burden you with it." The words hung in the air, and for a moment, you felt a flicker of hope that maybe, just maybe, your fears were unfounded. But the way he avoided your gaze made your heart sink. "What kind of work?" you pressed, your voice tight. "Something big," he said vaguely, "something that could change everything."

Your mind raced with possibilities, none of them good. "Are you seeing someone else?" you blurted out, the question cutting through the tension like a knife. Bill's eyes snapped to yours, and for a split second, you saw genuine shock in them. "What? No!" he said, a little too quickly. "Why would you even think that?"

But you had your reasons, and you listed them out, one by one. The late nights, the secretive phone calls, the way he'd been so distant and cold. You watched as his expression shifted from shock to guilt, and finally, to anger. "You think I'd do that to you?" he said, his voice rising. "After everything we've been through?"

The accusation hung in the air, heavy and palpable. You felt your cheeks flush with a mix of embarrassment and anger. "I don't know what to think," you admitted, your voice shaking. "But you're not giving me much to work with here."

Bill's eyes searched yours, a storm of emotions playing out in their depths. He took a deep breath, and for a moment, you thought he might confess. But instead, he leaned back into the couch, his arms folded across his chest. "I'm not cheating on you," he said, his voice low and steady. "But I have been keeping something from you."

The room grew quiet, the only sound the distant hum of the city outside the window. You felt your heart rate spike, the blood rushing in your ears. "What is it?" you asked, bracing yourself for the worst.

Bill took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving yours. "I've been planning something," he said, his voice measured. "A surprise. I wanted it to be perfect."

Your heart skipped a beat. "What kind of surprise?" you asked, the accusation in your voice fading slightly.

Bill stood up, his movements quick and decisive. He walked over to the bookshelf and pulled out a small, leather-bound notebook. "A road trip," he said, handing it to you. "To the beach. It's all planned out."

You took the notebook with trembling hands, flipping through the pages filled with handwritten notes and maps. "But why the secrecy?" you asked, trying to keep the anger from seeping into your voice.

Bill sat down next to you, his hand gently covering yours. "Because I wanted it to be perfect," he repeated, his eyes earnest. "I know I've been distant, but it's only because I wanted this to be a surprise."

You looked down at the notebook, the words and maps blurring before your eyes. A road trip to the beach had been something you'd talked about for ages, a chance to get away from the city and reconnect. The thought of him planning this, just for you, brought a lump to your throat. "Why now?" you managed to ask, your voice barely above a whisper.

Bill took a deep breath, his thumb tracing circles on the back of your hand. "Because I know we've had our rough patches," he said, his voice sincere. "But I want you to know that I love you more than anything, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Your heart skipped a beat, and you felt the tension in the room shift. Was this really happening?

You studied the notebook, the details meticulously planned out. Dates, destinations, even the playlists for the drive. It was all there, a tangible symbol of his love and effort. You looked up at him, searching for any sign of deceit, but all you saw was hope and nerves. "When do we leave?" you asked, your voice now slightly hopeful.

Bill's face lit up, the tension in his shoulders visibly easing. "As soon as you're ready," he said, a genuine smile spreading across his face. "I've got everything packed in the car. Just grab your bag, and we'll hit the road."

The surprise in his eyes was unmistakable as you set the notebook down and stood up, your arms wrapping around his neck. "Okay," you whispered, feeling a mix of relief and excitement. "Let's go."

Within minutes, you were both in the car, the city lights fading in the rearview mirror as you headed west towards the open road. Bill's hand found yours, his grip firm and reassuring. The tension between you melted away with each passing mile, replaced by a gentle anticipation of the adventure ahead.

The drive was long, but the time flew by as you shared laughs, stories, and old memories. The playlists he'd painstakingly curated served as the soundtrack to your journey, each song seemingly chosen to remind you of moments from your four years together. You felt a warmth spread through you, a gentle reminder of why you had fallen for him in the first place.

As the sun began to rise, painting the sky with a palette of pinks and oranges, Bill pulled the car off the highway and onto a narrow, winding road. The anticipation grew with every turn, the horizon hinting at something beautiful waiting for you. Finally, the road opened up to reveal a stretch of sandy beach, the waves of the ocean gently caressing the shore. It was more picturesque than any postcard.

You stepped out of the car, the cool morning breeze kissing your cheeks as you took in the breathtaking view. Bill walked around to your side and fell behind you, his eyes reflecting the excitement he felt. "This is it," he said, his voice filled with a mix of nerves and excitement. "The place where I want to start our forever."

You turned around to face him, your eyes wide with wonder and a hint of skepticism. But before you could respond, you saw him drop to one knee, a small velvet box in his hand. Your heart stopped, and for a moment, the world around you was nothing but a blur. The waves seemed to pause, the seagulls froze in mid-flight, and the world held its breath.

Bill looked up at you, his eyes filled with a love so intense it took your breath away. "Y/N," he began, his voice cracking with emotion. "You are the light of my life, the one who makes every moment brighter. I know I haven't been the best at showing it lately, but I promise you, I want to make it up to you. Will you marry me?"

You stared at the ring in the velvet box, the diamond glinting in the early morning light. Your mind raced, trying to piece together the last few weeks of his strange behavior. Could it all have been for this? You felt your eyes fill with tears as you took in the serene beauty of the beach, the gentle whispers of the waves, and the man before you, kneeling with hope in his eyes.

"Bill," you managed to say, your voice choking on emotion. "Is this...is this real?"

He nodded, his eyes never leaving yours. "More real than anything I've ever felt," he assured you, his voice shaking slightly. "Please, tell me you'll be my wife."

You felt a warmth spread through your body, the kind that starts in your chest and fills every corner of your being. The doubt and fear from the weeks before melted away, replaced by an overwhelming sense of love and belonging. You took a deep breath, letting the salty sea air fill your lungs as you made the biggest decision of your life.

"Yes," you whispered, and the word seemed to float on the breeze, carried away by the waves. Bill's face broke into a grin, his eyes shimmering with happiness. He stood up, took the ring from the box, and slid it onto your finger. It fit perfectly, as if it had been made just for you. You stared at it, the diamond sparkling under the new sun, feeling the weight of the promise it held.

He pulled you into a tight embrace, his arms around your waist, your hands clutching his shoulders. You could feel his heart beating in time with yours, the warmth of his body seeping into you. "Thank you," he murmured into your hair. "Thank you for saying yes." You pulled back, your eyes searching his, making sure this was real. You found no deceit, only pure, unbridled joy.

As you both stood there, the sun rising over the horizon, casting a warm glow over the beach, Bill produced a small picnic basket from the car. He'd packed your favorite breakfast, along with a bottle of champagne chilling in a silver ice bucket. The sight of the strawberries and croissants brought a smile to your face. It was clear he had thought of everything.

The proposal had been so unexpected, yet it felt so right. The beach had always been your place of solace, a place where you had shared so many memories together. Now, it was the backdrop to the next chapter of your lives. You watched as Bill carefully laid out the blanket, his movements methodical and precise, as if he had practiced this moment a hundred times.

He handed you a flute of champagne, and you clinked them together, the sound echoing across the deserted beach. The bubbles danced in the glass, mimicking the sensation in your chest. You took a sip, the cold liquid bubbling against your tongue, the sweet taste of victory and love. You sat down on the soft blanket, the sand cold against your bare legs as you picked up a strawberry, feeling the gentle weight of the ring on your finger.

The salty sea air kissed your skin as you took a bite, the sweetness of the fruit mixing with the saltiness of the ocean. Bill sat beside you, his eyes never leaving your face as he filled his own glass. He took a sip, and you could see the tension in his shoulders ease away, like the tide retreating from the shore. "To us," he said, raising his glass. "To forever."

You clinked glasses with him, the sound ringing out over the waves. You both sat in silence for a while, watching the sun climb higher into the sky, the colors deepening from pastel to a fiery gold. It was a moment of pure happiness, untainted by the shadows of doubt that had been lingering.

"It ends now," Bill said finally, his voice a gentle rumble beside you. "Whatever doubts you had, whatever fears, they're gone." He took your hand, the ring feeling surprisingly natural against your skin. "I promise to always be honest with you, to always make you feel loved, and to never, ever take you for granted."

You nodded, the tightness in your chest slowly easing as you sipped the champagne. The warmth of the sun grew stronger, and you felt its embrace, mirroring the warmth of Bill's words. You leaned into him, letting his love wash over you like the waves on the shore. "I believe you," you murmured, your voice still thick with emotion.

The rest of the morning was a blur of laughter, sweet kisses, and the sharing of plans for the future. You talked about the future aka the wedding, the house, the kids, and the endless adventures you would have together. Each conversation was filled with excitement and hope, the kind that made you feel like you could conquer the world.

---

Hehe👹 I might stop writing angst because of how shit at it I am💀🥲🤗🥵🤮🥸👽🔫

#x y/n #x reader #fluff #bill skarsgard fluff #bill skarsgard imagines #bill skarsgard smut #bill skarsgard imagine #bill skarsgard #bill skarsgard angst #bill Skarsgard x reader #bill Skarsgard x y/n #bill Skarsgard Y/N #bill Skarsgard x you #Bill Skarsgard x y/n fluff #bill Skarsgard x yn #Bill Skarsgard x YN

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lemon-criminal · 1 year

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john wick franchise (affectionate)

I thought John Wick 4 was amazing. Say what you want but I fuckin love that movie. The plot, cinematography, actors (bill skarsgard!) and actresses (rina sawayama!), the locations, the accents, everything. Not a single thing I disliked about that movie (spoiler: except for the fact they killed the Marquis- like I understand he’s a bad guy but he’s bill skarsgard. Its okay I can fix him). I am a big JW and Keanu fan and this new movie did not disappoint and I hold it in high regard.

If nobody writes anything about a female mob assassin who works under the table in an enemies to lovers forbidden romance mobboss smut angst kinda shit with Marquis Vincent de Gramont I’ll shit my pants ☺️🙏

#Someone please write this #someone write it or i will and i promise you dont want me doing it #John wick #john wick 4 #MARQUIS VINCENT DE GAMONT #keanu reeves #john wick chapter 4

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kingkat12 · 1 month

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affair (roman godfrey x reader)

WARNINGS: 18+, piv sex, oral sex (female receiving), dub-con, Roman using his powers for bad shit, angst, cheating, toxic relationship, justice for Peter omg

summary: when your ex-boyfriend shows up at your door, how are you supposed to push him away?

word count: 5,136

"No, please!-- We need to talk!"

Roman forced a foot in my door to make sure I wouldn't close it on him. He was wet from the rain, his usually styled hair sticking to his forehead as he panted, desperately pleading for me to hear him out. "I made a huge mistake," he breathed, regret glossing over his green eyes. "Could you please just hear me out?"

This was definitely not the most ideal situation to be in-- my boyfriend, Peter, had just left my apartment to go home and get ready for his early shift, so I had gotten ready for bed. And I certainly wouldn't be dressed in my pyjamas and slippers had I known that my ex would show up at my door looking beyond frantic. My mind raced with uncertainty, filled with endless questions and doubt; what was he doing here? Was he drunk? Why was he doing this now, after two months of being broken up? "You-- You need to go," I didn't have the time or energy to deal with the mess Roman always dragged back into my life, especially now that I was finally happy with someone else.

Worst of all, I knew for a fact that Roman had someone else too. I knew he was seeing some woman with long, blonde hair whom I refused to stalk for my own good, so why on earth was he here? The question lingered in my mind, but I had to remind myself about the one thing I had the answer to at the moment; I needed to close the door on him now.

Upon hearing my words of rejection and feeling the door press up on his foot in an attempt to force him out, Roman wedged his arm between the door. "Let me explain," he pleaded, chest heaving. "I just ran seventeen blocks in the fucking rain to see you, could you at least spare me a minute?"

As if that was enough of a justification to show up out of the blue? "No one asked you to do that. I certainly did not," To say that I was pissed off was an understatement, but Roman's pleading eyes were making me sick with guilt. He looked like a lost puppy of sorts, and it was certainly not helping my restraint. The hand I had on my doorknob felt like it was starting to lose blood because of how hard I was holding on-- I couldn't let him in. I shouldn't let him in.

"I know," Roman eventually said, moving his wet hair out of his eyes. "I know you don't want to see me, but I just... I needed to see you."

"... I think you should go back to your girlfriend," I started to push at his shoe with my slipper, preparing to slam the door in his face. "You shouldn't be here."

It didn't take long for Roman to figure out what I was doing, and it became apparent that he wasn't going to go down without a fight. It didn't take much strength for him to grab the door, forcing it wide open, staring down at me with a damning look of desperation I hadn't seen in any man before. "Just a minute," he breathed. "Please let me say my piece. If I don't, I swear I'll die."

I didn't enjoy this one bit-- coming to my doorstep, threatening to die if I didn't comply? I had forgotten how manipulative he could be. Being with Peter had shown me that Roman's behavior in our relationship had been beyond toxic, and I could see it clearer than ever as he stood before me now. "You're not going to fucking die," I grumbled, feeling myself grow annoyed with how he was throwing himself back into my life, completely uninvited. "Roman, it's almost midnight, maybe this manic behaviour of yours will go away with a good night of sleep?"

Frustrated, Roman tapped his fingers against the door. "Now you're just making it hard, as always,"

"And you're being crazy, as always," I mumbled, shifting my weight from foot to foot, a sense of restlessness taking over my stance. "Could you please leave? We did this back-and-forth thing months ago, I'm not interested in doing it all over again."

In true Roman fashion, standing face to face with rejection, he didn't know what to say or do. I could recognize his patterns now that we weren't together, and it was so damn typical of him to attempt to distract me from what was making me mad; "I remember those," he said, nodding toward my slippers. "Good to see you've kept them."

I knew he was distracting me, so why did it work? Sighing, I shrugged; "They were expensive... Wasn't going to throw them away just because you picked them out,"

Letting go of the door, knowing he had tranquilized the danger of getting it slammed in his face, Roman leaned against the frame in a James Dean-esque fashion. He let out a dragged-out breath, eyes rounding out; "I've missed you,"

His words snapped me out of my daze, and I immediately pulled away from the door with a groan. "Ugh, Roman, you need to go!" I turned my back to him, walking further into my apartment, my instincts telling me to get as far away as possible. "I'm finally happy with Peter, and you have no right to show up at my door just because you're bored!--" My trail of words came to a halt as I suddenly heard my door close; I knew I was fucked in an instant. My heart trembled at the recognition of the sound of the lock turning, realizing I was in for a long night. Fuck. I turned around, holding my breath, watching as he took wary steps towards me.

"One minute," Roman said, voice low and unsteady. "That's all I ask."

"No!" I took a few steps back, not daring to get too close. "You can't be here! This is completely inappropriate, Roman, I have a boyfriend! And I know you have a girlfriend too, along with a huge fucking drinking problem!"

Roman sighed, a silent declaration of his frustration. "I'm not drunk," he said, gaze falling to the floor. "I just... I've come to realize that I can't live like this anymore. I want to be with you."

I clenched my fists tightly in a futile attempt to quell my agitation, but my hands continued to shake. "That's too bad," I said, a sinking feeling taking hold and clinging to me. "I'm not doing this with you again. I'm not getting up in the middle of the night to look for you, wondering whether you're either dead or drunk in some alley. Not when I have Peter."

Exhaustion drugged Roman's movements, every movement slow, every breath. It was clear that the mention of Peter was an unpleasant reminder that we were over; his shoulders slumped, the weight of guilt settling upon them. "I haven't had a drink since the day you left me," he said, his sincere eyes finding mine. "I want to be good for you... I want you. Every second of every day."

At this point, I had taken so many steps back that I had hit the wall. It was getting a little harder to breathe, and I ended up hyperventilating-- I couldn't do this. I could still feel Peter on my shirt. Everything about this was wrong. "You need to stop," I breathed, stepping away from the wall and wandering further into my living room as I grew restless. "Please stop. Don't do this to me."

To my dismay, Roman only followed; "I'll leave her," he pleaded. "I'll leave her if you tell me to, I'll do whatever you want! I should've fought for us, I should've done so many things that I didn't do... It keeps me up at night that I let you go. I can't sleep, I can't function, I need you to know how this pains me!"

"No, I don't need to know that!" My steps came to a halt, and I pivoted on the heel of my slipper to face him. "You put me through hell, and now think you can just show up like this! Don't you think I have enough emotional baggage from you? You think I don't have enough or something, so you come here to unload some more? What the fuck am I to you, a loading dock?!"

Roman let out a harsh sigh; "Is that a serious question?" he asked, brows weaving together in frustration. "You are everything. I see that now!"

I was already exhausted from the day I had just had, and I barely had any energy left to fight with Roman. This was what we did-- we fought, we fucked, then we made up. However, this time was completely different, and it was throwing me off my course; we couldn't fuck and make up this time. But it was clear that he hadn't shown up to fight, so what on earth was this?

"Well, it's too damn late!" I groaned loudly, hiding my face in the palm of my hands. This was way too overwhelming. When the love of your life shows up at your door telling you everything you've ever wanted to hear, you want to rejoice-- not cry? My eyes burned with the tears that begged to be set free, distorting my vision as I lifted my face from my hands, unveiling that I was swimming in tears. "Do you not see what you do to me?" I breathed, sniffling. "Did you come here to drive me to tears? Do you have no remorse, Roman?"

Roman's lips parted, the worried look on his face revealing everything, his concern written all over. In the quiet moments that followed, the only sound was the echoing resonance of regret filling the space between us with its haunting presence. Our unsaid words were scattered in the air, and it felt like I was suffocating from every apology he could muster up.

"Let me be happy," I begged, swallowing hard. "Leave now and let me forget. I'm happy with Peter... Please."

It was clear that Roman was debating whether or not to comply. His conscience was gnawing at him-- I knew him well enough to be able to spot the signs. I hated how familiar he was, how it felt like we hadn't been apart at all, like it was yesterday that he had made me feel things I never knew I could feel. The feeling of pure bliss had been like a drug that Roman constantly pumped into me, making me a complete and utter junkie. It had resulted in me falling for him despite how beyond bad he was for me.

I remembered it all too well. The binge drinking that would go on for days, which often had him disappearing off of the face of the earth. His wandering green eyes used to leave me with such crippling anxiety, I would spend hours crying with a lingering feeling of nausea in my throat. He used to make me so, so sick in every possible way, and my body remembered it better than I did.

However, I could also sense that something had changed. Here he was; standing in my living room, drenched in rain, clinging onto his last slivers of hope, and I knew I was in for a good run of Roman-mania.

Of course he would come back to claim what he thought was his. Of course he'd be arrogant enough to believe it would be okay, that I would take him back, and that it would be completely alright for him to come towards me with rushed steps, kissing me with desperation that I had never felt from him before.

Our bodies were pressed together heatedly, Roman's hands on my waist keeping me in place. I could taste our shared nervous breaths, feel the thud of my heart against his, and it was all too much-- I pushed him off of me, tears pooling in my eyes as they streaked down my cheeks. "No!" I cried, my words getting choked. I couldn't believe what he had just done; my heart was actively breaking at the thought of Peter, the loveliest boyfriend I had ever had. I couldn't do this to him. "Roman, you can't just!--"

I hated the warmth that spread in my chest as Roman pulled me back in, sparks igniting in the pool of my stomach as his impossibly perfect lips moved against mine once more. I balled my fist, landing a firm hit against his chest, fighting the ecstasy that always followed any kiss from Roman. But his grip around me was impossibly tight, not letting me budge. You'd think he'd been starved for months with the way he was kissing me with hunger unmatched any other moment I'd ever shared with him, completely taking my breath away. Like this, I could almost believe that I had been on his mind in every waking moment, ravaging through his veins like a burning ache-- I couldn't lie and say that he hadn't been on my mind either.

No one could match Roman; not even my sweet, sweet Peter. I hated it with every fiber of my being.

The only thing I hated more, was that I never wanted him to stop.

"No," I cried against his lips, my fingers gripping his wet shirt, bunching it up, unsure whether to pull him closer or push him away once more. Was it maybe that he sensed how much I wanted this too that made him allow himself to continue?

Lightning struck in the distance, illuminating my apartment with a flash as my tears rolled down, mixing in with our kiss. No matter how wrong I knew this was, it felt like my soul was slowly leaving my body and giving itself to him once more; I knew I was dealing with a force outside of anything I could ever control. The love I had for Roman was all-consuming, crushing, devastating-- I could barely bring myself to fight him. "Stop," I breathed in between kisses. "Don't, Roman--"

My breath hitched as I realized my back was now pressed against the wall, and Roman pulled away barely an inch; I could feel the soft tickle of his breath beneath my nose, his fingers now moving through my hair as we breathed each other in. "Leave him," he whispered against my lips. "Let's try again."

My heart had become like melted wax in my chest, making it painful to breathe. "We'll crash and burn all over again," I breathed, feeling the salty traces of my tears on my lips. "We'll kill each other, you know this."

"Let me die by your hand, then," Roman connected our foreheads, closing his eyes. Like this, I could almost believe him, I really could-- he had actually missed me, hadn't he? "A death by you would be a death worth dying."

I felt my lower lip quiver in a sob; I wanted him more than anything in the world, and I had an inkling that he knew it better than I did. I couldn't allow myself to feel all the feelings I had bottled up in our time apart, knowing it would break me and lead me right back into his arms.

But Roman was insistent-- "I love you," He whispered it as though it was a secret he had been keeping for a thousand years. I could barely accept that this was real; the words I had wanted from him our whole relationship were being spilled out like a consolation for my pain.

I knew there was no reason for me to fight anymore; Roman knew me too well. He knew that this was all I had ever dreamed to hear, and he knew exactly how to use it against me. Unsure whether he was telling the truth or not, the emotions I had let fester deep within came rushing through the floodgates, making it impossible to do anything but feel; the love I had for him, the feelings that had never left me, the burning sensation of need and hope coursing through my veins.

So, I didn't fight him when he kissed me once more. I didn't fight the arm he snaked around my waist, pulling me flush against him, and I didn't fight the rush I got from finally being reunited with him in this way; I had wanted his back mouth against mine since the second we were over.

My conscience gnawed at me as Roman pressed himself up against me, but my guilt didn't hinder me from letting my fingers run through his wet hair, giving in to the engulfing infatuation I had with him. As his hungry kisses moved down my jawline and to my neck, I dared to inhale a shaky breath; I was getting dizzy from the rush of feeling him close to me like this, grabbing my waist, running his hands up my body as though he had no self-control at all.

The inner corners of my brows turned up, giving in to the crushing feeling of relief and sadness, closing my eyes as I held him tightly against me. There was so much I wanted to say, to do, but I couldn't bring myself to push him away-- not when it felt this good. Not when his hands dipped beneath my shirt, grazing at my bare skin, drinking me in as though I was water. It didn't take long for Roman to get my shirt off of me, and I could taste our shared breath along with the thud of our combined heartbeat as it got tossed to the floor.

Roman's fingers pressed themselves into my skin, getting reacquainted after our time apart. I hadn't realized that I was tracing my hands up and down his arms, mindlessly relishing in the familiarity; I had missed him dearly, and I couldn't bring myself to lie about it any longer. My hands went back up into his hair as he kissed down my chest, my breaths getting short and choppy as I allowed myself to bask in the feeling of his lips against my body.

"We shouldn't," I tried, the memory of my boyfriend lingering in the back of my mind.

Roman hummed against my skin, now kneeling before me. He grasped at my hips as he pressed a wet kiss against my lower abdomen, making my breath hitch. "Push me away, then," he murmured, his wet tongue tracing where he had just kissed me; it was impossible not to shiver.

He knew he had control. He knew, that bastard knew so well-- I couldn't push him away. I was never able to do it before, so how was I supposed to do it now? I felt my tears dry up, the familiar ache between my legs pooling, threatening to run over. As if by instinct, my hips rose from the walls, begging for him to finally do something.

Roman's grip on my hips tightened, pushing me back in place. Something about the growing smirk on his face had me questioning everything; what was I doing? Was this just a ploy for him to get laid? A big, dark part of me didn't care at this point. The fingers I had in his hair loosened as he hooked his fingers in my pyjama pants, dragging them down with a satisfied look on his face. Roman wasted no time, humming as he leaned forward to press a keening kiss against my dampening underwear.

My breath hitched, my back arching off the wall in a knee-jerk reaction-- I had missed this more than I should've. There was no passion like this with Peter, although he was sweet and considerate. But Roman was so all-taking, so consuming, I couldn't do anything other than let him do whatever he wanted to do to me. He pulled my underwear to the side, laving his tongue against me as I whimpered, tasting me. Roman's big hands grabbed my leg, forcing it over his shoulder, pushing himself closer to my sex with an aching need.

"Roman," I tried, my guilt mixing in with the pleasure. "Don't--" All other words suddenly fled my mind as his lips sealed around my clit, sucking at me in a way that had me crying out in shock, my vision nearly turning black.

Just as I thought I would faint from the flood of emotions, Roman came back up after taking his time, breath heavy against my lips. "Still want me to go?"

My eyes glossed over, meeting his. Thunder and lightning struck outside again, lighting up my living room, and allowing me to see the traces of my slick around his mouth. Something about it was just too scandalous-- I couldn't believe any of this was happening. But we'd gone too far to go back now; "No," I breathed, slinging my arms around his neck, pulling him into a heated kiss.

As I tasted myself on his lips, Roman picked me up, and my legs automatically wrapped around him as they always had. He didn't need to watch where he was going as he knew my apartment almost as well as I did, walking away from the wall and laying me down on the couch with ease.

It was hard to focus on the true nature of what was going on when it felt so damn good. Everything happened in a blur; I couldn't recall how or when Roman had lost his shirt, when my underwear got pulled off and discarded, or how I had allowed this to happen. Roman's cock pressed into me slowly, still trying to be sincere despite the complexion of our encounter. With every thrust, my chest arched up against his, back curving as I whimpered at the stretch.

My hands rested on Roman's neck as he kissed me once more, stealing my breath with every roll of his hips. The part of me that was outraged with the both of us withered away as I continued to moan beneath him, coming out in broken cries. I couldn't focus on the infidelity I was committing when he was inside of me like this, his hands wrapped around me, moving me against him.

"Fuck, I've missed this," Roman breathed against my neck, letting out a laboured sigh of satisfaction. "All of you... All of this..."

Everything about this was dizzying; maybe this was my mind playing tricks on me, maybe this was all some dirty dream? But I could feel myself clinging to him, wet and dripping-- there was no way this wasn't real. "Rome," I cried, the old nickname slipping past my lips.

I could feel him give in to a shiver, ears perking up. "That's sweet," Roman kissed my cheek, driving his cock further into me as I whimpered, no longer used to his length like before. Even as he whispered my name, needing me, I briefly thought of how less intimidating he was at this moment-- this was the part of Roman that would show up in my dreams, caress my cheeks as I cried, and fall asleep on top of my chest after a long day, clinging to me. I had spent so much time resenting him, that it was weird to see him so... human. Desperate.

I let out a short gasp as I suddenly realized I was almost folded in half, my legs creasing at his arms. One thing hadn't changed; Roman would always take his liberties with me, no matter the circumstances. It somehow bothered me that I was being fucked with the same amount of love as before; did he have no guilt? No thoughts of his girlfriend at home?

Fuck-- Peter!

As I remembered my boyfriend, I felt my anxiety rise. My hand shot up to Roman's chest, lips parted, ready to protest and push him away-- but as I met his eyes, the green of his irises practically engulfed my being, and not a sound would come out of my mouth. "Shh, it's okay," Roman said, voice calm, reading my panic. "It's just me... It's okay."

Something about his voice was so calming, soothing, that a certain sense of relief washed over me-- I could recall several similar instances. This had happened before; it was almost as though a greater power controlled me every time I looked into his eyes for too long.

The hand I had on his chest went up into his hair, pulling him forward to capture his lips in a kiss. I was caught off guard as Roman pulled out only till the tip of him remained, letting out a soft gasp against him as he pushed back into me to the hilt. I felt him hum against the kiss, sighing in satisfaction. "There you go," he said, words softer than ever. "Just relax, enjoy... Let me take care of you, just like I used to."

Despite how hard my guilt was eating at me, I still felt ridiculously calm, unable to do anything else than comply. I could only moan, shivering with pleasure at the feeling of being driven forward against the couch with every thrust.

I wrapped my arms around Roman, kissing his broad shoulders, giving in to the pleasure. I had missed this, I had missed him... All my feelings started to ball up, crying out against his shoulder at the realization of what was about to happen. "Rome, I- I can't--"

"Gonna?" His question came out along with a grunt and another snap of his hips, repeatedly pushing himself into me.

I couldn't hold it-- I really, really couldn't. Something about the nature of our get-together mixed in with my climax, and I let my head fall back down against the couch as I cried out. It was so hard, so intense, that I had forgotten to breathe; I hadn't had an orgasm like that since the day we broke up.

I knew I was screwed. I knew it.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

As everything started to dawn on me, my breathing got heavier-- what had we done? I pulled myself closer to Roman on the bed, completely spent, seeking comfort from the person who had dragged me into this mess in the first place.

Eventually, Roman broke the silence; "We should do porn," he mumbled, taking another drag of his cigarette.

What? I looked up to glare at him; "Fuck you,"

"You just did," Roman smirked, glancing back at me with a rather proud expression on his face. "But I'm serious. We're damn hot."

I groaned; this was not what I needed to hear right now-- not after we had just finished round three. Roman reached out for me with his free hand, pulling me even closer, lazily running his fingers through my hair. I embraced him as I sniffled, burying my face in the crook of his neck. I was so tired, feeling my sore legs ache as I realized that up close, Roman's hair smelled like cigarettes as well. He might've quit drinking, but quitting cigarettes was a no-go in his book.

"We're horrible people," I mumbled, my words muffled up against his skin, taking in his presence. There were many times I had dreamed about us being reunited, but never that it would end up with me cheating on Peter.

Roman shrugged, turning to press a kiss against my temple. "I told you, I'm leaving her. We're fine,"

Nothing about this felt fine. I propped myself up on my elbow, watching him as he laid comfortably in my bed, almost done with his cigarette. Even after convincing me to commit such a heinous act against my boyfriend, he looked like an angel. Fucking Lucifer. "... Don't do it. Don't leave her."

"What?" Confused, Roman's green eyes rounded out. "Why not?"

I sighed, shaking my head. The decision I had made for myself was hard to air out, and I knew that protests would ensue; "I'm not leaving Peter,"

But despite my predictions, Roman got quiet. His wide, empty eyes stared right back at me, lips parted as though he was ready to speak. "... You're kidding me?" he finally said, the hurt in his face mixing in with a smidge of anger. "After this, you're going to stay with him?"

"He's good for me!" I tried, sitting up properly. "Roman, please, just-- I don't know what came over me, but this was a mistake... We're not good for each other, you know this!--"

"You're kidding me?" Roman repeated, clearly in a state of shock.

This whole ordeal was making me feel like the second worst person in the world, with the first place going to Roman. I buried my face in my hands, realizing that I was trembling. "Please don't make this harder than it already is," I pleaded, inhaling a shaky breath. "You had no right to show up here... I was fine just the way I was, and I'm going to go back to that."

I heard Roman shift, sitting up as well. His long, slender fingers wrapped around my wrists, prying my hands away from my face. His green eyes burned into me, the fire intent on destroying whatever it could catch, and I knew I had to look away before it was too late. "I'm leaving her," he said, intertwining his fingers with mine. "I love you. I'm leaving her."

It took a lot of willpower to shake my head, rejecting his words. "Don't,"

"I will,"

"No, Roman, I don't want you to!--"

My words came to a halt as Roman leaned forward, capturing my lips in a rushed, desperate kiss. I did my best not to cry again, having previously burst into tears in the middle of round two-- I couldn't do this. This wasn't good for me. Peter was good for me.

I felt Roman's hands leave mine, and before I knew it, his fingers twisted into the hair at the nape of my neck, forcing me to look at him. His eyes searched mine, looking to find some shred of doubt to hang onto. "Do you love him?" I barely had time to open my mouth to speak before he cut me off; "You wouldn't have done this if you did."

My tears came back, pressing up on my eyes with a burning fire, begging to be set free. "Please, just... Please just go,"

Roman let out a sigh, leaning forward to press his lips against my forehead. "Call me when you change your mind,"

"I won't,"

"You will," Roman's hand slid out of my hair, caressing my cheek with his thumb, his green eyes finding mine once more. And just as I was about to look away, I felt that familiar calm wash over me as the colour green took over my vision, the numbing of my thoughts ensuing; there was no way I could fight it. I didn't stand a chance.

Roman's lips quirked into a shameless smirk; "You will,"

a/n: (should I do a pt.2? hihi)

#roman godfrey #roman godfrey x reader #hemlock grove #x reader #bill skarsgård #fanfic #oneshot #smut #bill skarsgard #fanfiction #peter rumancek #the crow 2024 #angst #toxic relationship #purr the way he is gripping her hair in that gif is making me kick my legs

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pcrvcrse · 2 years

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hi, im looking to pick up some discord threads.

i have a couple of ideas i like to write, but if none of these interest you, i'm down to brainstorm something. like this or message me for discord!

boss/employee - jamie (bill skarsgard) just bought the company your muse works at, and your muse is a big wig who is fucking him to keep their job.

hateship (both 30+) - your muse and mine work together. mine has been there been there years longer than your, but your muse gets promoted to be his boss. thinking a dubcon (or non tbh) "you're not better than me" situation

toxic arranged marriage/relationship - pretty much our muses both grew up in rich families, and never got along. something happened with her family's company and in return for her marrying my muses (to save his image and theirs) his parents will bail them out. thinking dubcon in the sense that she has more to lose than he does, and he would hold that over her head.

codependent besties to lovers: they are v in love with each other, but can't admit it. give me angst and drunken hooks up!! (bonus points for a childhood friend who is helping jason (john krasinski) get his life together after his divorce)

vampire things: your muse comes from a family of hunters and has been after nico (jdm) for a long time. recently he turned your muse during an ambush attempt that went wrong. (more bonus points for older muses here)

#indie smut rp #discord 1x1 #discord rp #indie kink rp

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bostcn · 2 years

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okay i’m going to try this again ! i’m looking for some 1x1 partners to write on discord with ! i’m such a headcanon whore BUT also love doing replies of course. i have a tiny lil brain so my replies won’t be too long , but trust i am here for the long run ! i’m honestly just looking for someone who will have me refusing to close my laptop every other night because the hcs/muse/replies/all of the above is just flowing !

to make things a little easy i have a few wanted plots, a few wanted opposites, and a few fcs i want to play myself ! i’m gonna drop them all below the read more ! if anything about this post interests you please smack that like button or message me directly and i swear i’ll come bother you so quick !

+ please take a look at my rules before reading to see if we’re a good match !

WANTED PLOTS

daisy jones x billy dune situation pleaseee

childhood friends turned lovers with a lil angst in b/n

if we’re both single by a certain age pact

this lil plot about two people in witness protection having to act like a happy suburban couple

two folks who unintentionally had a baby and are figuring things out together

a lil con-artist falling for a victim moment

used to date , one of them went to jail , and now that they’re out the other muse is completely diff than what they were like before

a plot that would have so many deuxmoi blind items

flirting fluff kinda ! they’re plotting murder

WILD CARD ! we just come up with smth together

WANTED FC OPPOSITES

oliver jackson-cohen

oscar isaac

harry styles

aron piper

florence pugh

theo james

michael b jordan

paul mescal

daniel sharman

bruna marquezine

phoebe tonkin

bill skarsgard

adam dimarco

matthew daddario

anya taylor joy

jeremy allen white

tbh i’m down for anyone!

WANTED FCS

dakota johnson

camille rowe

francisco lachowski

alex fitzalan

zoe kravitz

barbara palvin

tamino amir

rosie huntington whiteley

blanca padilla

adriana lima

jasmine tookes

zoe kravtiz

also down to play your opposites!

#1x1 rp #1x1 #discord rp #discord 1x1 #1x1 discord

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absolutelyrecklcss · 7 months

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Back in Black....and White

Now that things IRL have calmed down a bit, I'm opening up for more threads.

Please be 25+. (If you age is nowhere on your page, I will not respond. Safe over sorry.)

Due to some bot!blogs liking my post, if your page is empty, I probably won’t respond either unless you message first. I’m sorry :(

Smut is welcome, but not mandatory.

I’m looking to double or do a 2x2 plot! I like to keep things fair! (But I am open to doing more if we get a good rapport going!)

Discord only please.

I will give you a wanted face claim of yours to keep things fun and fair! (Having the favor returned is neato.)

M/F only please!

I have muses already made, but I am also willing to make a muse that is specific to the thread, no problem.

I use Tupperbox upon request. (It’s not mandatory for me but if you prefer to use it, we can.)

I do have some faces and topics that I won’t use, but we can discuss those.

I’m pretty flexible with reply lengths, depending on the storyline I can go from a couple paragraphs to more. I just ask that you give me something to go off of, preferably a few sentences at least!

Some plots that I’m interested in trying (but aren’t mandatory) are:

WEREWOLVES! Give me bonding and imprinting and all that angst and shit.

Vampires too. Don’t judge. Gimme human donors and all that!

Crimey stuff. I have a few ideas, but we can discuss more.

Smutty things too.

Pretty much everything on my wishlist? I’m open to ideas!

Some faces I’d LOVE to play against!

Sebastian Stan

Adam Driver

Landon Liboiron

Bill Skarsgard

Jeremy Sisto

Like this post if you’re interested or send me a message and we can exchange usernames and plot! I may be selective on this, but I’m fairly open!

#1x1 roleplay #1x1 rp #indie rp #indie roleplay #1x1 smut rp #1x1 smut roleplay #1x1rp #discord rp #discordrp

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warmaidensrevenge · 2 years

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Request by @salenorona23

Bill Skarsgard x plus!size reader

Joseph Quinn x plus!size reader

If you want to read my other work you can find it HERE

One of my request coming to life. Let me know if you catch my reference. It's pretty obvious I think.

Warnings: 18+ smut, smut, smuuuuhhhhtttt, language, angst, alcohol use and not proof read and no word count.

Summary: Being in love with Joseph Quinn is hard. But being his best friend is even harder.

🥺💍🍼💔🤍🤍🖤🤍🤍

The stars never seemed to align for you and Quinn. There was never a perfect time for you two to be together. See both of you were in love with each other. But neither one of you knew how the other felt. You fell in love with each other at the 2016 World Cup. That was almost 6 years ago.

You were gifted the tickets from your boss. You worked organizing Met Galas and award shows. You had vacation coming up and your boss thought it would be nice for you to go somewhere. But the thing was, the game was in South Africa. You had never left America. You barely left your house. You lived in a small subdivision in Reseda hills. It wasn't all fancy or anything. But it was yours and you were proud of your little home.

You didn't know how good your seats were until you were led to a damn skybox. You were shocked that this was what Shelly gave you. (Your boss) There was a hand full of people there you had never met or saw before. You gave a thin lip smile to those who nodded in your direction. You felt so out of place there. Everyone was either wearing a fancy suit or a very expensive dress. While here you are with holes in the knees of your faded blue jeans that always fit just a little too tight and just some random Star Wars shirt. It was a graphic tee that said save the forests with Ewoks just under it. You wore a pair of all black vans and had your hair up. You came as comfortable as you could be. You wanted to stuff your face with nachos and beer. Because well, it was your vacation. And you'll be damned if you didn't have fun.

You went to the buffet table and grabbed wings and nachos with a large glass of Stout. You hadn't noticed the guy staring at you from across the table. You went to your seat doing a silly dance while you munched on some nachos looking down at the game. Why anyone would sit this high was just stupid. You couldn't see shit. They looked like ants. So you opted to watch the screen that was filming the game live. You were so into it. Booing every time the team you didn't like scored.

You heard a laugh coming from somewhere but you didn't look. You hated people and you were sure whoever it was, was laughing at you. But he wasn't.

" Hello. I just wanted to tell you I love your shirt."

You looked up and saw the most beautiful man you have ever seen. You couldn't even say anything because your mouth was full with wings and chips. His eyes bore a hole in your heart.

" I'm Joe Quinn and you are?"

You covered your mouth and chewed vigorously to try and get the pieces small enough to go down. You knew exactly who he was. He was your favorite character in Dickensian. He wasn't crazy famous or anything or had a huge part in the show. But you recognize him. It was those damn chocolate button eyes. You would know them anywhere

" Hi. Umm I'm Y/N. It's nice to meet you." You said nervously holding out your sweaty ass had to shake his. But to your surprise his hand was just as sweaty as yours if not more.

"Mind if I sit with you?"

" Umm no not at all. Be my guest." You said gesturing to the seat next to you.

You offered him some nachos and he accepted with a grin that had you the moment he put it on. But, that feeling you had that day and everyday since was kept all to yourself. Your relationship with Quinn was entirely platonic. There were times when he would have a girlfriend and it would always break your heart. So in order to try and not to be so sad you would date too. But then you would break up with them as soon as you found out that Quinn was single again.

The friendship was hard to say the least. He lived in London while you lived in LA. Every time he got a role that brought him close to you. He would stay with you. See he was in love with you too. But he never said anything because he was worried that he wouldn't be good enough for you. Some C list actor who only got very small roles. So he tried to move on as well. But just like you. When he found out that you were single he would be single. But for some reason there was a disconnect.

You guys had moments where there might be something more than just friendship. But you or him played it off. Thinking it was just a joke. It wasn't until after Quinn filmed Stranger Things when he got serious with someone. Of course he would be with some stupid beautiful supermodel. Together they could have stupid beautiful sex, and stupid beautiful kids and live in a stupid beautiful big house.

The relationship didn't seem all that serious since he never really talked about her. But one phone call in the middle of October changed everything.

" Hello love. Where have you been? I've been trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty."

You laughed. " Hey Quinn."

" Hey. So I have news."

" Oh? And I have ears. Let's hear it."

" So, I have decided. I'm going to propose to Clara."

" What!"

" Yeah. I think it's time for me to settle down. I'm almost 30. And I would like to start my family soon."

You could feel the color drain from your face as your heart sank to the floor. His words felt like a punch in the nose. Your eyes watered. And he continued to ramble on about it.

" Y/n hello...are you there?"

" Y-yeah. S-sorry. Just wow! I can't believe it. I-I'm-I'm so happy for you."

" What's wrong love?"

" Uh nothing..it's just umm ... It's late Quinn."

" Right. I'm sorry. I keep forgetting we are in different time zones. Get some sleep love. I'll see you at the masquerade ball."

" Right."

" Goodnight love."

" Night."

As soon as you hung up you ran to the bathroom and threw up. " Now you've done it. Stupid. Stupid."

You sat on the ground next to the toilet crying until you fell asleep

...

You hadn't slept well since the conversation. It's been 2 weeks since, and tonight was the party. And surprise surprise. Quinn didn't show up to yet another party you hosted. You understood his schedule changed a lot ever since Eddie Munson. But not this much. No one would ever understand how much it hurts getting that apology text from him. How your heart broke every fucking night knowing he would never be yours.

But tonight you actually had fun. Someone actually took your mind off of Quinn for a brief moment in time.

You were standing near the refreshment table making sure everything was full when something got in your eye. You weren't sure if it was dust or an eyelash. Whatever it was it hurt like a bitch. You stood off to the side taking off your mask rubbing your eye.

" Jesus...owww."

" Here let me help."

Someone grabbed your face and held your eye open blowing into it.

But ok like what the fuck?

As soon as he let go you felt so much better. You blinked a few times just for good measure.

" Uhh thanks."

" No problem....hey I know you."

You looked at the tall slender guy. You didn't know him on account of the mask.

" Oh?"

" Yeah you're the one who sewed on my button a few months ago at the Met Gala."

" Hmm I sowed a lot of buttons that night."

He took off his mask and smiled. Yup you remembered him.

" Oh yes. I remember now. Bill Skarsgard. You were wearing Louis Vuitton suit with the silk red lining."

" Yes!...so what's your name?"

" Oh I'm sorry. It's y/n. Y/n l/n."

" Very nice to meet you. Say uhh you look like you wanna duck out. I do too. I just come to these things for the mini sandwiches."

"is it that obvious?"

" yeah kinda."

" I would love to. But I'm hosting tonights event. I can't just leave."

" Hmm what if I take you somewhere where you could still keep an eye on things. But be far from everyone else."

" Doubt it. I know this place like the back of my hand."

He laughed." Alright if I'm wrong then you have to let me buy you dinner."

" And if you're right?"

" Then you have to buy me dinner."

" Ha. Alright."

You watched him grab 2 bottles of wine.

" Uhh can you grab that tray of sandwiches?"

You laughed. " sure"

To your surprise Bill did have a spot that you never found before. Since you were afraid of heights you never thought of hiding up in the rafters above the stage. Being with Bill made you feel safe though. The conversation you two had kept your mind from wondering.

After that night you had many “Dates” with Bill. His natural charm was all too enticing. He was also incredibly hot. You didn’t think he was actually into you. See you were a “Big” girl and though it never really bothered you, it was hard to find someone who wanted to be with you and not just a one nightstand. But one night 2 months after hanging out, Bill and you went to a bar with live music. He had grabbed your thigh in his big hand send chills down your spine. At the end of the night Bill drove you home. You were sexually frustrated by now. It had been almost a year since the last time you got some. So tonight Bill just looked too damn good to resist. You had kissed a few times but you would never spend the night at his place or invite him in. But tonight, it was going to happen.

The moment you stepped into your house you pounced. You stripped off his clothes as you kissed. He tore off the buttons of your shirt and took off your bra and dropped down to his knees, unbuttoning your pants taking them and your panties in one go. He kissed your tummy and around to your hips. You leaned back against the door as he lifted your leg over his shoulder.

“ohhh” you moaned as he slipped his fingers between your folds tracing circles around your aching clit.

“mmm baby you’re so wet for me.” he cooed before giving you a long strip lick from your throbbing cunt up to the bundle of nerves. “Fuck! You taste so good.”

“ Shh. Be quiet and lick...Please.”

Bill laughed as he continued to eat you out.

“OHH FUCK!!!” you mewled throwing your head back as he stuck his fingers deep into your sopping cunt.

In the matter of seconds he had you cumming. He finger fucked you through your climax giving you kisses on your inner thigh. “ Yes baby. Cum on my fingers....Oh yeah. Just like that.”

Once you caught your breath you took your leg off his shoulder. You saw him put his soaked fingers into his mouth licking them clean of your juices. This only made you want him again. You pushed him down to his back and got on top of him. He sat up to kiss you. He was being so gentle with you. As if you were some porcelain doll. He lifted you up just a bit to guide his tip to your entrance. You slowly sank down into his lap moaning into his mouth. He was big. The biggest you’ve ever had. You had to stop to get used to him at the halfway point. He looked up at you worried.

“Are you ok? We can stop. I don’t want to hurt you.”

You stared into his big green eyes. He really did mean it. Whatever was going on with you two it was definitely more than just what was going on right now. You kissed him gently and started to rock and roll your hips. Your lips never leaving his. Well not until he turned you around to lay you on your back. He lifted your leg resting the back of your knee in the crook of his arm.

His desperate groans mixed with your gasps filled the air as he went deeper and deeper into you. Your eyes rolled back as he hit your sweet spot. The sad part in all of this, was that this was the first time anyone has touched that spot deep inside of you. The more he pressed up into you the louder you got. Tears fell from your eyes from pure pleasure. You got closer and closer to your release with every thrust of his hips.

The sound of his balls smacking your ass was the sweetest sound he has ever heard. Bill wanted you from the very moment he blew in your eye. He had dreamed of the beautiful girl who sowed his button for him months ago. And when he saw you at the event he absolutely had to talk to you. Now he was 10 inches deep in your tight pussy and he was in heaven. You were his dream girl. Beautiful and smart, and so fucking sexy. He fell in love with you way before this night. But tonight confirmed it for him. He wanted you forever and he planned on it.

You felt yourself clenched as he slowed his thrust but kept pounding into you. You let the wave of your climax wash over you while you felt his hot cum buried deep inside you. Your legs shook as he pumped the last of his load. He let go of your thigh slowly putting it down so that he wouldn’t overwhelm your senses. He laid down on top of you staring into your eyes stroking your hair. He smiled at you and you returned it.

...

Many weeks were just like that. Bill made bittersweet love to you night after night. You hadn't expected to fall for him. But, fell you did. Falling hard. The relationship became more and you could not have been happier. Quinn was still part of your life but very minimally. He was so busy with planning the wedding that he only sent you morning and goodnight texts.

But it wasn't until 7 months later did he try to call. He had just called off the wedding. He couldn't do it. He just couldn't marry Clara, because he loved you. He knew you were getting serious with Bill but not to the extent like he was with Clara. That night he called and called. But when you didn't respond he booked the first flight out to LA.

You always answered Quinn's calls. But on this particular night you didn't. That was because while Quinn was calling, Bill was on one knee asking you to be his wife. You had expected it since you found the ring in his loft one night 3 months ago. You happily said yes. That night he took you home and led you to your room that was decorated with flowers and twinkle lights.

Bill sat on your bed staring at you getting undressed. He grinned at the sight of love bites he left all over your chest. He was madly in love with you. He couldn't believe such a goddess agreed to marry him.

You walked to him giving him kiss after kiss while you undressed him. Once both were bare you laid down as he kissed down your neck and on your collar bone. His hand dipped down to your sex. He groaned against your skin because of how wet you still got for him. He wanted to lick you clean but tonight he wasn't going to take you like before. He was going to take it nice and slow. Your heavy sighs and the sound of your wetness were music to his ears.

He moved his hand away to line himself up to your entrance.

"You want this baby?"

"Mmm yes please."

" Anything for the future Mrs Skarsgard."

He entered you slowly.

" I love the sound of that." You said letting yourself adjust to his size. " Mrs. Y/n Skarsgard."

" You know what I love the sound of?"

" hmmmm?"

" This" he whispered while hitting his favorite spot in you.

You made a deafening gasp as he hit your sweet spot. The spot that makes your toes curl and arches your back. He was just too good at this.

He pulled out completely, then rammed in hard. Sending shooting pains of pleasure throughout your body. He sent you to heaven with every delicious thrust. You did your best to kiss him and keep your hands accountable but you were so blinded by the ecstasy Bill was providing. The knot building deep down made its way to the surface. You came long and hard. Bill kept going until you came again. It was then and only then he finally let himself cum deep inside you.

He went so deep, he put your ass to sleep. You were out like a light after. He held you while he drifted off.

"I love you y/n."

...

You guys slept late into the afternoon. When you finally got up, you and Bill took a bath together. He washed your hair making one long spike with shampoo. You made him a beard with all the bubbles. You laid in his arms until the water got cold.

"I have to go and promote Barbarian tonight. I won't be back too late. If you want you can come."

" I can't. I have a lot of work to do for fashion week." You said while drying your hair.

"Okay baby. I'm gonna make you coffee before I leave."

" Yessss. The nectar of the gods. I'll be there in a minute."

Bill came to kiss you. " We're getting married."

"Yes we are." You lifted up to kiss him back.

Joe was walking up your driveway and saw a Mercedes where your car normally parked. He got to the front door and knocked. He was met with a shirtless Bill.

"Joe! What a nice surprise? Does y/n know you were coming?"

"Uh no mate. Umm I should have called. I'll come back later."

"Nah man. Come in. She should be out any second. I made some coffee. Come in and have a cup."

" Uhh no that's fine I'll-"

" Hey babe. What do you think of an October wedding? I'm obsessed with a spooky themed wedding."

Joe saw you coming out of your room with just a red and black flannel and panties with a shirt in your hand. The moment you saw him you tugged the hem of your shirt to cover your thighs. He wanted to tell you to stop. That he loved your thighs. That he has always loved them. He remembered that time you guys were wrestling and somehow you had his head locked between your thighs. He could have swore he died and went to heaven.

"Quinn! Dude what the hell?"

" Hello love. I'm sorry I tried calling yesterday."

"No no please come in."

" Alright baby I gotta go."

" Uhh yeah. Here." You said handing Bill the shirt.

" Thanks baby. Love you. Joe, good to see you bud."

You cupped Bill's face and kissed him goodbye. Joe looked away but then immediately looked back. He saw a gigantic diamond on your ring finger. He wasn't even paying attention to what you said earlier. He saw Bill get in his car and leave.

" Hey I'm gonna put on some pants. I'll be right back."

Joe nodded and watched as you walked away. He closed the door and went to sit down. You came back and he stood up.

" Oh Quinn I've missed you."

You went to hug him. He held you so tight breathing you in.

" I've missed you too."

After a super long conversation he didn't tell you how he felt. You were so happy that he didn't want to ruin that for you. He had told you about Clara and you hugged him for so long. He thought maybe just maybe you felt the same. But when you pulled away you looked at your ring and had the most beautiful smile he has ever seen. It broke his heart. After a week in LA he went home. He was so lost that he really couldn't get out of bed. It was a month later when he received a save the date. He honestly didn't want to got. But he had to. You were his best friend and he couldn't do that to you. He hoped something would come up so that he could have an excuse to not go. He prayed for it.

...

2 and a half months later you were sitting in a party bus with Bill. He was holding you as you snuggled up against him. You guys had decided to have a bachelor party together. Bill really didn't want to celebrate the night without you. So he and his buddies and some of your close coworkers and sisters all went out for drinks and food.

Your sisters kept trying to give you drinks but you were content with just soda. You were actually so nervous. You had a secret that you had planned on tell Bill tonight. Your friends had rented a private room at some fancy strip club. The guys said they hired a stripper just for you tonight. You looked over to Bill and shook your head.

" I don't want one."

" Don't worry baby. It will be fine. If you want I will stay with you."

"Please. I don't want him to get too handies. I really don't know how I feel if some random guy thrusting his junk in my face."

" Don't worry. I'll handle it when it comes to that."

You gave him a thin lip smile. Everyone but you and Bill left the room. You sat there nervously while Bill poured you and himself a drink. Music randomly came on and Bill handed you the glass. You set it down on the table to the side of you. That's when he spread your legs apart with his knee. He got between your thighs and started dancing.

" Uhhh what?"

" Shh. I heard you were getting married soon." He said rolling his body to the beat.

" Umm yeah."

He dipped down to kiss you and continued to take off his shirt. You sat there and instantly felt hot and bothered.

" Mmm you look so good tonight. I might just have to take you here and now. I hope your fiance won't mind."

" I'm sure he won't." You said softly as you touched his body.

You could see how hard he was already. Your mouth water. You pulled him into the seat next to you and straddled him grinding your core against his huge bulge. He held onto your waist with one hand and the other was massaging your breast. You were kissing him with such need you could feel your undies becoming soaked.

It was when you had your shirt and bra off when you pull away a bit.

" Baby I have something to tell you."

He hummed in your neck while kissing you and biting you there.

" Baby. I'm pregnant."

He pulled away slowly and cupped your face meeting your gaze with his big green eyes that you love so much.

"Are you serious? Are you having my baby?"

You nodded and gave him a sweet smile.

"My baby is having a baby! Wow! How much luckier can I get? I get a wife and a baby."

You giggled and he smothered you with kisses. He helped you to lay down on the couch you were on. He unbutton his pants pulling them down to his thighs. His penis smacked against his stomach. You could have came at the sight of it. He lifted your skirt a little and ripped your panties off tossing them somewhere. He didn't even give you time to adjust when he rammed himself into you. Hit that spot. Your gasps rang out as he fucked you harder and harder. His mouth moving from nipple to nipple. He put his arm under your arched back to lift you a bit so he could have a better grip on you. Your tits bouncing in his face with every deep thrust.

" Oh fuck that's my girl. Shit baby. God I want to cum so bad."

" Bill please. I'm so close." You whimpered

" Fuck!" He growled as your warm slick walls hugged him so tight.

Your cum drenched him as his filled you. You rolled your hips a little to get every last drop of his love out. As you both came down from you high he laid on top of you. Kissing the sore parts of your chest.

" Baby. Do you think we can move up the wedding before I start to show?"

He lifted his head and smirk. " Let's do it tonight."

You giggled. "No. How about 2 weeks? I need to call my parents to see if they can get here. Just a small wedding yeah?"

" Anything my babies want." He said moving to kiss your tummy.

You smiled. " We want ice cream."

He quickly got up pulling up his pants. " Let's go. Can't keep my boy waiting."

...

"Quinn. What are you doing next week Friday?"

" Hello to you too love."

" Oh shit. I'm sorry. Hi"

He chuckled watching you get flustered on facetime.

" I don't know what I'm doing. I think I'll just visit my mum."

" Perfect! Do you think you can come here?"

" Uhh why?"

"Bill and I moved up the wedding and I need you to walk me down the aisle."

His heart sank. He couldn't keep his face from losing it's smile that you put there.

" Why-why so soon? What about your parents?"

" They are on a cruise and they won't be back in time. Common Quinn please. I need you."

He forced a smile. " i-i"

Your pleading eyes did it for him. He had to go. He had to stop this. You were suppose to be with him.

" Okay love. I'll be there."

" Promise?"

He gave you a halfhearted smile. " I promise."

" Please don't flake on me."

" Why would I?"

" Because you always do. You don't know how sad I get when you send me the 'Im sorry I can't make it' texts."

" I'm sorry love."

" It's okay. I mean if you came to the masquerade ball I would probably be marrying you instead. " You laughed.

He laughed nervously. Was that true? Did he lose you that night?

" Please Joe. Please don't flake on me."

He knew when you called him that it was dire for him to listen.

" I will be there."

...

Joe was waiting for you in the dressing room. You were finished the last touches to your hair in the bathroom. You had found a small chapel that could perform the ceremony in such a short notice. He was pacing trying to find the right words to say to get you to call it off. That's when you came out.

" How do I look?"

Joe was weak at the sight of you in a flowing white gown. You had never looked so beautiful.

" Heavenly."

You gave him a sweet smile. " Thank you....okay I'm ready."

You started to walk towards the door when Joe stopped you.

" Y/n I need to say something and please let me finish before you say anything."

You turned to face him.

"My love. Please don't do this. I know this is not the best time to do this...but I need you to know how much I love you. I have loved you since I met you. And I know you must love me too. Please don't marry him. Please be with me. I can't live without you anymore. Please my love. Don't do this."

He could see tears forming in your eyes and your breath starting to hitch.

"Quinn....I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. We could just leave right now."

" No Joe. I'm sorry but it's too late. You're right I do love you. And I always will. But I'm in love with Bill and I want to be his wife... I need you to understand that."

" No please y/n. Don't say it's too late. It's never too late for us."

" Joe....it is....I'm pregnant...that's why we moved up the wedding."

He couldn't believe his heart could hurt anymore than it did right now. How could he have been so stupid? He should have told you a long time ago. If he had, you would be carrying his child right now.

" Love it's okay. If you allow me. I will raise the baby as my own."

" Quinn please stop." You moved forward to hug him. " You know we can't do that. Please be happy for me. I need my best friend. Just be my best friend."

His tears came as he held you. He knew it was over. He knew he couldn't have you.

" I'm sorry love. I'm so sorry I didn't get to you sooner."

You leaned back and kissed him gently on his mouth.

" I'm sorry too."

He sighed and wiped his tears. "Do you think that one day we will both be in the same place and we could be together?"

You looked into his eyes and smiled. " I don't know. And I don't want to think about that right now. I just want to get married."

He nodded and pulled away from your arms.

"Alright my love. Let's get you to Bill." He sniffled

You went to him giving him a kiss on the cheek.

" Thank you."

...

Joe stood there listening to you and Bill exchange vows. All he could do was be happy for you. He would always hate himself for not telling you he loved you sooner. He watched with everyone as you and Bill drove away. He cried watching his soul mate leave him. He hoped that one day. You would come back to him. He promised he would always wait for you. That he would always love you.

#fanfic #joe x reader #joseph x reader #joe quinn #joseph quinn #joseph quinn x plus size reader #joe x love #joe x y/n #plus size reader #bill skarsgard x reader #bill skarsgard

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