#and i contemplated if that's what I want as opposed to the others
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wikipedie · 2 years ago
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hees-mine · 3 months ago
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First time - L. Heeseung
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Pairing: heeseung & fem reader
Warnings: smut, unprotected sex, loss of virginity, blowjob, handjob, ear licking, cum eating, multiple orgasms, cursing, dirty talk.
Synopsis: wherein your mutual friend decides to approach you in the halls on a random school day, begging you to take his virginity because his friends wouldn’t stop making fun of him for being a virgin at 22. Well, after you’re done with him, he’s going to be the furthest thing from a virgin.
WC: 4,437k
-
“Y/n, please? I thought we were friends. Don’t friends help each other out?” Walking down the school hall, heeseung follows you along like a puppy would, his master hounding you with the same old question he’s been asking you for at least a month.
You scoff and cut your eyes at him.
The audacity of him to try and make it seem like you were friends to what he wanted was laughable to you. You guys were not friends. You knew him through mutual friend groups and occasionally talked with him, but friends was definitely a reach. “Friends?”
“Yes!” He answers so quickly, and it’s shameless how desperate he sounds to you right now.
“Hmm okay for the sake of argument let’s say we are friends how many friends do you know that do what you’re asking me to do?” You humor him pushing open the exit door to your school with him still hot on your tail.
“All of them!” He lied immediately, saying anything at this point just to get you to say yes.
“So not only are you shameless, you’re also a liar,” you tsked. “And here I was actually thinking about doing it,” you say with a tone of disapproval.
“What? Wait, y/n, no, I’m sorry, I lied. It’s just I’m desperate and saying anything to convince you” he takes long strides to keep up with your fast pace. “None of my friends do that but I’m just sick of being the laughing stock of the group” lowering his head he clutches the straps on his backpack and kicks a pebble on the ground sighing loudly.
“Hmm, so let me get this straight: you want me, barely even an acquaintance, let alone a friend, to take your virginity?” You ask just to make sure you’re getting this right.
He nodded his head, and if the silent confirmation wasn’t enough, he gave you a verbal one, too. “Y-you’re the only girl I know, and I trust you,” he mumbles, embarrassed to even admit out loud that he absolutely has no contact with women other than you.
He really has no reason to trust you, but he just does.
Now that you heard him out a little, you kinda felt bad for him, but it was still so out of left field for him to be asking you this. Although you weren’t exactly opposed to having sex with him, you still didn’t want him to regret anything. “So you want me to be your first? Are you sure? Don’t you want it to be special?”
“I’m sure as long as you’re patient with me it will be special” he turns to you you’re already looking at him with a small smile and he gets embarrassed quickly looking away and clearing his throat awkwardly as he pushes up the middle of his eyeglasses.
All you had to do was be patient with him. That in itself could be really challenging for you because, despite his shy demeanor, he was literally the hottest man you’ve ever seen. That coupled with the fact that it had been a while since you had sex, and just the idea of doing it with him was turning you on right now.
The silence drew on while you were in your own head contemplating this, and at this point, he could only surmise your answer would be a no, so he took a preemptive strike and rejected himself. “It's fine if you don’t want to do it. As you can see, no one else wants to, so I’m not surprised you don’t either. I’ll just get out of your hai-“
“Take me to your place,” you said, looking straight ahead as the both of you walked side by side.
“W-what?” He stutters, nearly losing his balance.
Stopping in your tracks, he stops with you, and you turn to him, gripping the collar of his shirt and pulling him in as he nervously eyes your face up close. “Take. Me. To. Your. Place.”
He gulps nodding his head frantically. “It’s that way” he points in the direction and you loosen the grip on his shirt you gesture him to lead the way and every step he takes from then on is one step closer to him losing his innocence.
He’s never been this nervous before.
-
When you both arrive to his house the parking lot is empty meaning his parents are luckily still at work and he eagerly lets you inside leading you upstairs to his bedroom straight away.
“Minimal, I like it,” you note. Once you enter his room, it is very spacious but simple and cozy at the same time.
“Thank you,” he whispers, wiping his sweaty hands on his slacks as he shuts the door and locks it.
You took a seat on the corner of his bed, your eyes scanning the room while you waited for him to join you.
But he doesn’t. He’s stood still by his door. He hadn’t moved a step since you entered his room.
“You wanna fuck standing up?” You tease him for just standing there.
Your voice snaps him out of his nervous thoughts. “W-what I- no unless you want to but I-i don’t really know how” his face is a mixture of confusion and worry as he stands by his door feeling a bit unsure about all this or maybe he was just anxious it’s hard for him to tell right now cause he’s too focused on trying to stop himself from shaking like a leaf.
“I’m joking,” you giggle, and you pat the bed next to where you’re sitting so he can join you. “Come sit.”
“Okay,” he says with a small nod and sits next to you.
No wonder he asked you to be patient with him at this rate it’d be half hour before you even got him to take his shirt off but you didn’t mind easing him into it. “Baby loosen up” if anything his posture got stiffer and he wasn’t even attempting to make eye contact with you anymore. “Would you feel more comfortable if I took my clothes off?” You offer.
Finally, he looks at you, eyes wide and pleading. “Please?”
Read full story on my patreon link
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dragongirlpoet · 3 months ago
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Dark Signs
Part I
<Read Part II here>
Alucard x female reader
Synopsis: A flirty, playful night with Adrian takes a dark turn. (1.6k words)
TW: Dark fantasy, horror, blood, smut (explicit) 🔞
This is my first attempt at smut, and who better than my bby Alucard as MC. I hope you enjoy it!
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“…And there, in the dead of night, under a moon so maroon, the White Wolf prowled — ravenous. Sturdy were its footsteps, calculated were its gait. Ahead, still as a rosebud in a windless twilight, its prey lay splayed out — helpless. 
Something about its small intakes of breath, its unsuspecting demeanour, made it all the more enticing for the imposing predator. Ever so slowly, the White Wolf, eyes like the golden gleam of a rising dawn, emerged from the thicket, pressing forward, inching closer, closer, closer…”
Body hovering over mine, Alucard’s words were a rasp above my cheek. The antiquated tome he had been reading from now a forgotten humdrum between our bodies. As velvet lips collided into me, I melded into his being. He was a hypnotic wave crashing into shore, and I was but delicate driftwood being dragged underwater.
His kiss was insistent, impatient. I had no escape, no cavity of air to quell the lack of oxygen in my lungs. Still, I kept going, because he was the only breath I needed. My fingers clawed ruthlessly at his back — muscle and bone Herculean from years of battling night creatures and evil forces. Skin so utterly cold, yet I wanted — needed — more.  
His body was a frigid storm to my fervent summer. “You are glorious as the solstice sun, darling. With you I am forever warm, within you I live eternally,” the confession falling easy from his lips the day he had taught me how to hunt.
Faces lost in each other, bodies entwined and limbs tugging like our lives depended on it, Alucard let his hand roam under my nightdress, finally finding solace in the swell of my chest. I shifted slightly at the unusual chill. Was he ever this cold?
Over the months I had become accustomed to his half human intricacies. His unnerving stillness, his undeniable thirst for blood try as he might to hide it, his erratic need to stay up nights in a row roaming the castle “just to be sure…” 
I was no fool. Those witching hours almost always had him back in his childhood room — he would stare, as if entranced, at the spot he had staked his father. And I would see the grief in his eyes — the absolute contrition at his travesty, one he wished he could take back, but couldn’t. 
Alucard, the son of the great Dracula and benevolent Lisa Tepes, the almighty dhampir. A being so beautiful he could bring a kingdom to its knees, yet one so cruelly tormented by his past.
“Baby, eyes on me.” My eyes fluttered open, realising I was lost in the wrong moment. He crashed his lips into mine once again. 
As if in a bid to stop my obsessive thinking, he started to grab at my breast, kneading furiously, thumb toying with my nipple. I leaned in closer, but alas my human endurance had reached its limits and I pulled away for air. 
“I want to know what happened to the prey. I am most opposed to unfinished stories,” I tried to play coy in between ragged breaths. Nose to mine, he wore a smirk on his handsome face. He had a playful glint to his stare — contemplative, as if taunting me to continue with my officious fib. 
Alucard picked the tome up from my stomach, grazing his fingers ever so slightly over my abdomen. He trailed the book slowly down my navel, its cracked spine against my bare skin sent fireworks to my core. I watched with bated breath as the print finally landed where he wanted it — in between my legs. He dragged its spine down, then up again, repeating the motion, teasing, eyes never leaving mine. 
Satisfied with how wet my undergarment had become, he hushed, “I think it better if I showed you instead. Don’t you agree, princess?” 
“Ye..yesss,” 
“Do you like that?”
“Yesss…”
“Open your legs wider.”
I obeyed. Submitting to him was easy. Too easy.
“Let’s see just how wet you are for me, hmm?” 
Without warning, Alucard ripped my soaking cloth off my hips and plunged two fingers inside. I cried out at the shock and how good it felt, and as if by instinct grabbed his hands and guided them deeper into me. Alucard let out a stifled moan at my brazenness, his erection growing fast under his black britches.
He watched with eyes half-lidded, completely spellbound as I bounced into his hand, my breasts rising and falling with every thrust. Body and mind so turned on he reached urgently into his pants and started stroking his length. 
For a long moment we just sat there, eyes locked on each other, legs spread wide, our sex stimulated. And what a profane sight it must have been for our bed chamber was filled with nothing but wanton “fucks” and the squelching of his fingers coated in my lust. 
I fucked myself into his fingers harder, and reached desperately for his cock. With more force than necessary, he caught both my wrists with his free hand and pinned them to my stomach. “That’s for later,” he chided. 
Alucard was usually wary of his inhuman strength around me. But tonight, tonight he was carnal, rough, like an animal being let out of its cage. His knuckles went white with how much pressure he had put on my wrists, and I bit my lip knowing it was going to bruise. 
As if to edge me further, Alucard pulled his fingers out and gazed at them ever so intently, admiring the slather of fluid glistening like diamonds on his digits. If his etherealness hadn’t killed me, then perhaps what he did next would have driven me close to death. With deliberate calm, he brought his fingers into his mouth, swiping his tongue over my juices, savouring every single trickle.
My dhampir, hair like a divine cascade of golden waterfalls, on his knees, drinking my lust as if it were vital sustenance, yet all that he was was in direct contrast to his reverence — powerful, dominant and deadly. I marvelled at his masculine elegance — the way his pectorals tensed as he licked his fingers dry, how his faded sanguine scar stood distinct against his alabaster skin, the definition of muscles that ran down his pelvis…
I swallowed. 
“God, you taste so good. Only for me, yes?” 
“Yesss…” Being thoroughly educated and well-read, I was fairly ashamed it was all the vocabulary I could muster.
And it would seem that more crude words were soon to follow, as Alucard then dove in between my thighs and sent his tongue plunging — deep, depraved — into my clenching walls.  
“Fuuuck, Adrian!” 
Hearing his name sent him over the edge, and he started sucking hard — wet pillow lips against wet pillow flesh. I was heaven and hell collided, rising from it like the luminescent birth of a star. I ground my core into his face, hands grasping his woven-gold hair, willing him to dive further into me. 
Alucard groaned in pleasure against my clit. Powerful, cold hands gripped my thighs apart, and my sweet lover lay soft kisses to the insides, thumbs expertly caressing my sensitive folds. In all his vampire glory, he bared his fangs ever so slightly, sharp teeth just barely peeking through, grazing them over my clit and thighs, nibbling, never breaking skin. I was undone. 
“Adrian…Adrian please…”
“Please what?”
I was all heavy pants and delirious to give a coherent reply.
Head still positioned at the apex of my thighs, his eyes raked over his masterpiece — delicate features coated in sweat, nipples hard from stimulation and the soppy, pulsating cunt laid out like a feast inches from his mouth. What a mess he had made of me, and a mess he was most certainly proud of. 
From in between my legs, Adrian was a fallen angel from a paradise unknown. His eyes like gold afire were so wholly glazed over they looked like one with the smouldering flames nestled atop our chamber candles. 
Patience waning, he asked again. “Please…” humming the words into my clit…“what?” A loud moan escaped my lips. I arched my back in sheer pleasure, feeling the build up in my core.
He dragged his fangs against my thighs, eyes fixated on mine, drinking in my desire. 
“I want…I want…” my chest heaving so violently from how close I was to release.
“What do you want?” Adrian moved to whisper against my ear. This was too much. 
“I want…I want you to turn me.”
Alucard went very still, his pupils blown wide. Everything went very still. The flames lost its dance, the curtains absent of sway.
“What did you say?” His voice was still water with undercurrents of danger. 
His statuesque figure towered over me, pinning me under. 
“I said, I want you to turn me.” 
Alucard held my stare, and as I took them in, an unearthly shadow seemed to lurk beneath those incandescent irises. 
If my question threw him off guard, his unsettling stillness made it clear he wasn’t most fond of surprises. It took a long moment before he finally moved, his supernatural speed having him by the window in seconds. 
Frustration soon shrouded my orgasmic high. I forced my spent body off the reprieve of our mattress. He was going to answer me whether he liked it or not.
“Adrian! You cannot disregard my question any longer! I’ve wanted this from the first time you made love to me, don’t pretend it was never asked of you,” exasperation evident in my tone.
“Peril or not, I am not afraid. I…”
A sudden squall of wind extinguished the flickering flames. Our bed chamber was plunged into chasmic darkness, summoning a bitter chill that seeped through the wooden floors. There, still as a predator hunting prey, hovered the glowing golden orbs of Alucard's eyes, the blacks of his pupils far wider than I’d ever seen. 
“A…Adrian?” 
Part II
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ladadiida · 2 years ago
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𝐚𝐥𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐦 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
once upon a time, you wished for alhaitham to love you back just as much as you loved him. that was years ago though; now as the acting grand scribe for the acting grand sage, you both were widely known for the hate you have for each other.
𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 love hate, unrequited love (or is it), angst, implied insecurity about physical appearance, inspired from the fountain scene in atonement by ian mcewan. i suggest you watch the video first so you can imagine how the scene would look like!
𝐰𝐜 2.5k
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he finally found you.
the swaying grass crunched under the soles of his boots as he slowly and menacingly walked towards you with your back facing him, not aware of what was about to come. he was getting nearer now, and yet you still didn't turn around; it was either because you didn't hear him at all or because you didn't care about his presence. knowing you, the latter sounded more reasonable.
you were sitting on the grass, right beside the crystal clear waterfalls of chinvat ravine, legs crossed and hair tied to keep the strands from blocking your view, but the wind didn't spare you from its wrath. your locks swayed gently along with the breeze, flying and curling like the roots of the divine tree holding up the sanctuary of surasthana, exposing your bare neck to him. even with your long sleeved dress, you bathed in the golden sumeru sunlight, not caring about the heat at all.
though you weren't looking at him at all, alhaitham's heart stubbornly skipped a beat, its pace picking up the longer he stared at you. you looked so peaceful sitting in silence that he almost turned away and let you be in your own quiet world. or maybe he would just sit beside you if you'd allow him to, then the two of you would listen to the singing of the dusk birds together, along with the calming sound of the running water from the waterfalls.
in another time, he would like to spend his mornings, afternoons, and nights with you; but right now, as the acting grand sage of the akademiya, work was priority.
and so, despite not wanting it, alhaitham broke the silence. "if I may ask, what is the acting grand scribe doing here?"
he saw your body tense up, shoulders raising slightly. it took you a whole minute before you decided to glance at him over your shoulder. as he expected, your usually gentle eyes were already narrowed, ready to bite at him. your plump lips were pursed in annoyance, and it took every bit of his sanity to not lean in and swipe his thumb over it. your cheeks were already starting to turn into a shade of red that reminded him of zaytun peaches. it was probably because of anger, or irritation. or both.
beautiful, he thought.
"acting grand sage alhaitham." you greeted him calmly, as opposed to the emotions you had on display. "i can ask you the same question."
alhaitham crossed his arms and stared down blankly at you. "i have some files i need you to arrange, and they should be at my desk tomorrow morning."
without breaking off the eye contact, you blinked twice as if you were contemplating on what to say. then you shrugged, appearing not to care at all. "alright."
he couldn't help but to think that the old you wouldn't act this way. years ago, you would've nod slowly with a soft smile gracing your lips, a smile that was reserved just for him, and a pale pink hue would settle on top of your skin because you were too flustered to even speak a word to him.
but times have changed now. he should not be thinking about the past, for it will only hinder his progress in the present. but how could he not, when the only person he could blame for the reason for your change was himself?
alhaitham tried to hide his growing impatience, both for your stubbornness and your attitude towards him. he frowned and pressed on, "it seemed like you didn't understand. i am asking you to return to your office in the akademiya."
"you already wasted my time by searching for you. i spent a precious hour just walking around the city asking people if they somehow saw you when i could've spent that hour finishing the rest of my work. even katayoun didn't know where you are, so i had to find you myself." he continued, voice sounding more cross in each sentence.
you sighed, not affected by his rants. fully turning around, he saw a writing quill tucked in your ear and some papers stacked on your lap. you took one of the papers and showed it to him. "i'm checking some of the students' research proposals before i can submit them to you for approval."
"and you couldn't do that in your office?"
"unlike some of us, i can't concentrate on my work when i am locked up in an enclosed space." you quickly bit back, glaring at him. "working here is much better. i can breathe in some fresh air and watch the dusk birds if i'm feeling overwhelmed by the never-ending paperwork."
alhaitham thought of what you said and almost agreed with you. from where he was standing, he could see the bright blue sky, and not to mention, the entire view of the city.
but his pride didn't allow him to back down, just like always. he can tolerate you being mad at him and hating him with all your heart, but he can't stand it when you ignore him.
so he added fuel to the fire and lectured you, "while you're at it, do you have more complaints? don't hesitate to inform me if you lack materials or things that you will need. you have a high position in the akademiya now, so it is important for you to have your work done in a proper manner."
you rolled your eyes. "office rooms make me nauseous." you said straightforwardly.
that made him scrunch his eyebrows in both confusion and concern. "nauseous?"
"there's no windows." you grumbled under your breath. alhaitham inhaled sharply, finally understanding the situation. he made a mental note to speak with some of the matra later and make a request to transfer you to a new room. maybe even use some of his sage funds to buy new decorations just for you, so you wouldn't feel lonely and cramped inside your office.
while he was thinking, he noticed that you turned around once again, continuing to check the papers on your own. he watched you write, quick but your handwriting remained neat and pleasing to look at. this was one of the reasons why he chose you to become the scribe.
he wasn't satisfied with just watching you. alhaitham got closer and bent down with one knee. striking up a conversation again, he began, "let me see what you're working on."
you flinched at the sudden close proximity. he noticed it, and he tried to stop himself from smirking.
your grip on your quill tightened. with gritted teeth, you told him, "i'm not yet finished. please be patient."
alhaitham peered at you innocently, making you glower even more at his unaffected state. "i just want to check if you're doing it correctly." he simply said.
"i told you it's not yet finished. and what do you mean by correctly? i can manage just fine on my own!" you defended, now starting to raise your voice. while you were distracted, he took the opportunity to take the paper you were writing on.
you yelped and protested, "hey! stop!"
he lifted up his arm so you wouldn't be able to reach it, looking down on you with a strange glint in his beautiful turquoise eyes. seething in anger, you slightly sat up and pressed a hand on his chest in a rough manner to hoist yourself up without losing balance. you tried to ignore the feeling of his defined muscles against your palm as you tried to snatch the paper from him.
alhaitham froze. for a moment, he thought he forgot how to breathe because of how close you were to him. he could see the flecks of light in your eyes, the number of your thick eyelashes, and the many imperfections on the surface of your skin, yet they looked soft to the touch. and your lips, your heavenly lips, were only inches away from his own. the way they were slightly parted made him think of how they would feel.
he lost all focus that the paper he was holding slipped away from his fingers. your jaw dropped in horror, gaze following the paper in the air as it slowly flew towards the river. you got off alhaitham and tried to chase after it, but you were unfortunately too late. the paper had already met the surface of the water, liquid seeping on its thin composition.
you looked at him in disbelief. "what have you done?"
alhaitham sighed, waving a hand. "don't fret too much. just take the printed copy and submit it to me." he said.
"i didn't print one." you quietly replied.
he turned to you and stared at you like you've grown two heads. "what?"
in a louder voice, you explained impatiently, "that's the original paper. i haven't printed a copy yet."
hearing your words, alhaitham felt a huge headache. it was a grave mistake not to keep a copy of the akademiya's files.
"this is why I told you to always duplicate important files immediately after you receive them from the students in case they are stolen, destroyed, or lost." he spoke carefully, trying to avoid getting frustrated. "these are their research papers, and i'm sure that as a former akademiya student, you know how much value those papers hold."
your hands formed into fists. "do not talk to me like that!" you weakly shouted.
one of his eyebrows raised in question. "like what? like an acting grand sage pointing out their scribe's mistake?"
to his surprise, you started tearing up. bright red then blossomed on your cheeks, signalling the chaos that was about to reach its boiling point.
"like a pompous ass who forced me to become the scribe!" you yelled, and the shrillness of your voice hurt his ears, but he continued listening anyway. "if you're so clever and oh so better than me, then why didn't you just be the grand sage and scribe at the same time? you just have to drag me into your shit so you could embarrass me in front of the mahamata!"
"to embarrass you is far from my—"
you pointed a finger at him in a threatening way, your eyes shooting daggers as sharp enough to kill him. "speak another word and i'll kick you so hard in your groin that your children wouldn't be able to have the same genes as you."
flabbergasted, alhaitham didn't dare utter another word. but when you started to unbutton your dress, he let out a sarcastic huff.
"the water is not safe." he said, trying to prevent you from wading through the fungi infested river. you ignored him and continued to undress.
you were about to pull down the upper part of your dress when you glanced at him, mouth open as if you were going to say something. he held your gaze, waiting for your retort. however, nothing came, and you only scowled at him while you finally slipped out of your dress, the clothing falling down to your feet.
he knew it was improper to stare. he wanted to look away, to give you respect and privacy and also because it was the right thing to do, but he can't he can't he can't—
the lacy camisole you were wearing underneath the dress clung tight to your body. your bra straps were visible, and because the camisole's length can only reach the middle of your exposed thighs, he can almost see your underwear. you were half naked right in front of him, but you didn't seem to care. why didn't you care?
ah, alhaitham thought, realization dawning upon him as you carefully walked towards the river and tested the temperature of the water first before taking a dive. you became nothing but a colorful blur under the aquamarine waters.
it was quiet for a moment. everything was quiet, until a distant memory flashed in his mind.
"you don't pass my aesthetic preferences and ideals for a partner. i consider both character and appearance when it comes to choosing a significant other, should that day ever come." he explained quickly, trying to get out of this awkward situation. more students were gathering around them, and that was the thing he despised the most: attention.
it became even worse when your lower lip started to tremble. just how pathetic can you be? confessing your feelings in the middle of a public place, the feelings that grew within you just by working on a single project together. you brought this to yourself. this was all your fault to begin with.
"are you saying i'm ugly?" you whispered, shaky voice sounding upset.
his gaze on you remained impassive. "i wouldn't use that term. that's too harsh, don't you think? i'd say...you're just not physically attractive, that's all.
"i'm not planning to consider you as my partner in a romantic relationship, today and in the near future. so i advise you to stay away from me to save yourself from the humiliation. have a nice day."
a loud splash interrupted his thoughts.
when you emerged from the water, your hands were clutching the soggy piece of paper, grip gentle as to not rip it off. damp pieces of hair framed your face, and the camisole, now transparent, hugged your wet form. your jaw was clenched, due to the cold or your hostility towards him; he doesn't know.
oxygen was knocked out of his lungs. alhaitham swallowed a lump in his throat and clenched his fist, reminding himself to breathe. you walked past him, not meeting his eye, and picked up your dress from the ground. you dressed hastily, your wet strands drenching your clothing in the process.
after you buttoned up, you turned your head sideways, finally acknowledging his presence but not making eye contact.
"i never wanted to be the acting grand scribe." you said, voice calm once again. "still, i apologize. i, who does not have a single clue about being a scribe because i'm only a librarian, apologize for not knowing what this job entails. but for just one day, can you please stop reminding me that i'm not as intelligent as you?"
he stayed quiet.
"have a nice day, acting grand sage." were your last words before you left him there standing dumbly on the grass. he can only watch as you walked away from him, hair swaying across your shoulders with each step you take. when you disappeared from his sight, he looked back at the water, the roiling surface yet to recover from its tranquillity, almost like you left some of your fury in it. alhaitham placed a hand flat on its surface, thinking about how the water touched your body mere moments ago, its calming arms caressing every inch of your skin. he doesn't want to feel jealous, but that he felt.
it has happened, much to his dread. you, who is possibly the only woman who can ever love someone like him, no longer have feelings for him. it was to be expected, but how can he live on when the only constant thing in his life finally left him for good?
alhaitham can only dip his hand in the water. it was the only closest thing to you that he could touch.
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dykedvonte · 7 days ago
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You ever just see a Mouthwashing take that makes you want to bang your head into a wall? I literally just saw someone claim Curly couldn't have been emotionally abused by Jimmy before the crash because he was in a higher position of power than Jimmy.
-Shrimp Anon
The mouthwashing fandom has shown me that people genuinely do believe that certain types of abuse are not as detrimental as other types especially when they deem those immune/resistant, ergo, believing one is objectively worse no matter how it affects the person nor the intersections of power, history and dynamics at play.
Get ready cause this is a yap session:
Cause like it's heavily implied that Curly and Jimmy's friendship was toxic and abusive, pointedly in the direction of how Jimmy uses Curly's belief/comfort in him. Curly wasn't forced to enable Jimmy but he was emotional and mentally on edge around him in almost every scene in some way. Mental and emotional abuse are not contingent on what positions you have at work. Yeah, he's Jimmy's boss but he was Jimmy's friend first and it's like getting into Psych discussion to talk about how social power tends to overshadow any perceived organizational power in the human mind. People are concerned about their jobs ofc but they tend to hang onto and put more value/investment into their personal relationships, hence why there tends to be laws and restrictions around mixing the two.
I always see the sentiments that "Curly is a grown ass man", "Curly is bigger than Jimmy", "Curly is Jimmy's boss", "He just needed a backbone" as criticisms of Curly and while I do agree that on the surface level all of these to be true and viable ways Curly could've taken more control of the situation, I often look at the parallels of Anya and Curly as victims of Jimmy pre/post crash.
The way Jimmy talks to Anya post crash is how he talked to Curly in the pre-crash segments. It's hard to pin-point mainly because we know he hates and wants nothing to do with Anya compared to his contrary but similarly handled obsessions with Curly. It's a weird sort of "honey-moon" effect of abuse Jimmy does in terms of emotional and mental victimization. He is always horrid to Anya, always talking down or questioning her abilities and thoughts in a situation, this of course includes the harassment and assault. However, he has a moment of attempted gentleness/conditioning when he question her about the mouthwash when she's contemplating drinking it at the table. The key difference is he has no personal investment in Jimmy outside wanting nothing to do with him, meaning there is no sort of romanticized version of him that he can condition her off of. He knows this, hence, why he always reverts to trying to make her to scared to oppose him.
This sort of give and take of "kindness" doesn't work on her because she knows he is just doing it to take more from her than whatever he could possibly give but it reflects even the "softer" scenes between him and Curly where he always rewords or rephrases Curly's sentiments and concerns to sound more shallow. He is feigning a deeper understanding by reworking Curly's emotions into something bad and needing to be hidden. Everything is laced with envy and resentment, an outburst just around the corner, I mean he even slams the table in the birthday party scene, a tactic in emotional manipulation to set the victim on edge and cloud their ability to respond. Even if Curly knows Jimmy won't get physical in that moment, the physical actions is intended to make him back down in the confrontation in case it does. This is something that is just not person specific. It ingrains itself into how you interact with the world and life and it shows in major and minor ways with Curly.
Post-crash, the abusive nature is more in tandem to the physical victimization Anya went through and the stripping of voice and autonomy we see take place. Like the parasite in HFIM, Jimmy speaks for Curly most of the time and puts words in his mouth, similarly to how he takes Anya's plans as his own. He very commonly, with the both of them mind you, supplements the worst aspects of himself into them; pettiness, selfishness, lack of understanding... And tries to cover himself with their best qualities; kindness, planning, initiative, etc...
These parallel are just to say that positional power has little to do with if a person can be abused and how it can even be flipped to further the abuse. There is no doubt that Curly could've picked up on Jimmy's envy of his position hence another reason he never confronted him as a Captain but as a friend as doing so would immediately put Jimmy in a space to be confrontational/combative.
I think the disdain some people have when they talk about the heavily implied if not implicitly stated emotional/mental abuse Curly experienced being Jimmy's friend is when treating it as an excuse to why he didn't do more. I can understand that completely because it is not an excuse to why he didn't do more but is a very real reason people in his position in these scenarios can experience whether in the context of a work or social environment. However, I also think the way people talk about it really does demonstrate a bigger problem when talking about abuse when somehow who is/was abused is either part of the issue or enabled it.
Harkening back to the sentiments about Curly's inaction regarding Jimmy, I think the exact phrases I used/have seen show how there is an inherent belief that it is easier to overpower the effects of emotional/mental abuse that go in tandem with the perception of Curly as someone who should be able to. There is not an age you suddenly stop being susceptible to abuse nor a set point or low where you realize how it has affected you. You don't suddenly know to stand up or put a face on to face your abuser nor admit that you inadvertently enabled them to subjugate someone else to the same treatment. Maybe it's my psych brain but their is this growing belief that direct action is somehow easy or always the best method with the game shows you instances where it is not always the case. In real life that rings true too. He should have done more, but it's not impossible to see why he struggled to find a way or didn't even if it makes us mad.
It's not easy to suddenly gain a "back-bone". You don't immediately want to resort to aggression, especially if it mirrors the type you were a victim to. You don't want to believe you allowed yourself to be treated this bad, let it get that bad or allowed something bad to happen to someone else. It is easy to be in denial, to retreat to your thoughts or make excuses to avoid the painful truth. It's frustrating but in a way we know is relatable. It why we both hate and love Curly for it. We know we'd be better, we think we'd be better, we like to think we wouldn't falter in the same ways but it's always easier to say that from the outside looking in. It's easy to see what he was doing wrong because we are seeing it, not him, but the game really does make you picture what you would do if this was your raw reality and it's why this debate about Curly seems so never ending/contradictory. We can all say what we'd do but bottom line is that's much different when you're in the moment with all the emotions and human feelings attached.
I personally think Mouthwashing tackles the themes of rape culture, enabling, toxic masculinity, types of abuse and patriarchy in ways that are meant to deconstruct the typical straightforward views we mostly have of these concepts and how little subtilities of them are just as, if not more, detrimental than the overt/obvious parts. The game deals with the idea of little details and bigger picture in a way to show that sometimes the bigger picture is not the issue but the little details that make it up. It's why I have a personal dislike of depictions of Jimmy as the typical horrible person who would of course do something like this because the game is about noticing the little warning signs, the foreshadowing and foresight.
It's why I dislike the typical discussion of "bro code" and "boys will be boys" for the game because the game makes a point to avoid the standard depictions of such. It is about the type of men who still enable despite not condoning, agreeing or even perpetuating harmful beliefs because they can't see the little details or the ways it seeps into their everyday. The severity is not obvious to them as it was not obvious to Curly, Swansea or even Daisuke the way it was to a woman like Anya. There are little details about Jimmy that should ring alarms but if you are too naive like Daisuke, too distant like Swansea or too conditioned like Curly, they are just off markers.
There is 100% more constructive/concise ways to say "Curly was a victim of Jimmy's abuse on an emotional and mental aspect that clouded his judgements and perceptions in the scenario" while also critiquing on the side of "Curly still had a responsibility to protect Anya as a crew mate and Captain that he failed to do due to biases and stigma's he failed to surpass" without the weird condemnation people give him about should've knowing better than to let himself be manipulated by a person he considered a close, if not family/best-friend and had his own reasons to trust initially. Also stop being weird about victims of abuse in general with this fandom, like sorry not everyone has a like social epiphany the moment someone's nasty to them. People are treating it like you immediately know when you are in a toxic relationship immediately or comprehend when a person is actively dangerous and either it's your fault for not knowing how to leave/cut them off or you deserve it. Like the hypocrisy of people believing how certain fans treat the story reflect their irl views but not their own is crazy.
End statement is: I honestly don't even know man, I've been writing this too long and just like no man on that ship was perfect or really helped Anya when it mattered and I feel like pitting them against each other in discussion on who did the least or most or how it was justified sucks cause in the end Anya always did the most and best thing for herself.
#i also think it is because mouthwashing is first and foremost a game about rape culture and the patriarchy especially in work spaces#regarding women and centering conversation around Curly a man rubs people wrong because it does overshadow that commentary#but it still mixes other topics into its initial theming and message on how abuse conditions you to accept certain things that are harmful#and how getting used to a culture/enviornment does not mean you are happy healthy or most importantly safe in it. I personally like to#explore those aspects where it mixes all the themes so we can discuss the ways you have to watch out for things because there is a differen#in the idea Curly enabled Jimmy just because they were bros and because he was an example of another man afraid to step out from what#is a still oppressive system that does try to punish those who act against it even if they fall in the category of those who would benefit#from it as Jimmy and PE 100% represent that sort of misogynistic system where men that would be “good” are altered until they follow line#in a way both on the personal and professional level as PE is the corporate lock out and Jimmy represents the social and its just the issue#that the discussion of it sounds like “in defense of men” when I am more so trying to discuss how it is much deeper than men being scared t#upset other men but complacency is rewarded by not becoming another person subjugated hence as all the moments Curly does try to do#something we can tie it back to how Jimmy reacts and a possible penality from PE where we now need to address the ways to combat those#two concepts so we dont get cases like Curly or Daisuke or Swansea where male avoidance of the issue is considered neutral or even good.#i think most of this boils down the perfect victim mentality to where if someone who underwent or is being abused is not a perfect example#or accpetible type than their abuse can not be considered a valid or substantial reason for effects on their behavior compounded with the#fact that Anya's abuse at the hands of Jimmy is a systematic issue that Curly is a part of even if unwillingly and was more physically#violating and topical cause sometimes i have to remind myself that all media is still critiqued through the lens of the culture it came out#in cause i do think about what if this game came out inlike 2014 like the conversations would be sooooooo different could you imagine it?#but back the before statement Curly isn't perfect but I feel like boiling it down if hes a good person or man is not the point of the game#but more so good people can still be part of the problem and the idea of condemning a person for one act creates a false sense of#rightouesness and justice that does not aid the victim and in fact aids the abusers in escaping blame for their mulitple behaviors as we se#how the men on the ship tend to blame Jimmy for just one act against them including himself while there is a plethora of things Anya is#concerned about with Jimmy#and its not that Curly just made one mistake with Jimmy but more so we consider his actions more damning because he didn't stop Jimmy#instead of focusing on the fact Jimmy did what he did regardless of Curly and the consequence because we already know he's bad n maladjuste#which is problem in the conversation where the individuals are blamed but the system and perputrator are overlooked in a sense of acceptiab#complacency as we know how they are and the lack of tangibility to personally affect them on a larger scale like I should just make a post#on like cutting out the face when it comes it confronting systems of oppression rather than tag talking but just ask me to clarify if#you want that like im jus trying to say we avoid talking about Jimmy and PE so much cause it is obvious what they do wrong that we make#the initial and inherent problem out to be one aspect someone in this case Curly does and the the constraints they use to force actions
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jesswritesthat · 1 month ago
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Todoroki Shōto: Smile
Fandom: BNHA // MHA — [ Masterlist ]
Summary: ~1k, fluff, humour
• Todoroki is acting differently, and it all started after an ‘interview’ with Mount Lady.
Warnings: None
>>>>——————————>
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It was a very suspicious change, a small difference you wouldn’t have noticed if you didn’t know Todoroki as well as you do.
The fire and ice hero had never had an issue when in your presence before, at least once passing the initial barrier of awkwardness when you’d first met. Todoroki wasn’t adapted to friendship or social interaction on a more casual level, and he was still learning now, but that didn’t explain the sudden change in behaviour.
Shōto wasn’t one to smile often, but recently he’d started to do so around you during heartwarming moments or after a witty comment. At least until he’d started covering them with his hand, burying his face in a jacket, or simply turning his head away from you. At first, you thought it was a coincidence but he didn’t display the same actions toward other classmates, at least not as often.
Unfortunely, Shōto was difficult to read in this situation as he hadn’t treated you any differently than before aside from concealing his smile, which meant you’d have to ask him directly if you wanted to understand.
It was an evening after class that you’d caught him in the dorms and asked to go for a walk around the grounds together. Once in the privacy of your own company, you brought up the concept when he’d once again diverted his gaze in your opposing direction when laughing.
“Hey Shōto, why are you always turning away from me when you smile?” You’d spoken casually, an airy tone used to lighten the subject but there was still a moment of contemplative silence before he spoke.
“I… I don’t want you to die.”
“I’d like to think you wouldn’t spontaneously set me aflame or freeze me to death.” A brief laugh escaped you, but he seemed happy.
“Never (Y/n). It was just something someone said, don’t worry about it.” Then he changed the subject, a sign he was embarrassed to elaborate at this current time.
———
The likelihood of getting further insight without directly prying Shōto was unlikely, and so you received enlightenment courtesy of an offhanded comment made to Izuku the following week.
“Has Shoto mentioned about not wanting you to die?”
“Hm? Not recently.” The green haired teen shook his head, but looked at you buzzing with curiosity.
“Ah. Then it’s just me he’s acting weird around, he refuses to smile.”
This comment allowed for Izuku to configure the situation for a second before sparking to life with renewed enthusiasm.
“I think I might know what you mean! He did an interview with Mount Lady but took it too literally I bet.” The young hero hurriedly explained the scenario that occurred during their Interview Training Lesson.
That’s when it all made sense, he’d mistaken Mount Ladys’ compliment on his attractiveness for the cause of a death toll. Amusing. Even more so to think you’d be one of his victims - you have to correct that right away.
“Shōto?” You’d knocked on his dorm, and naturally he’d opened the door to your right away with a degree of concern.
“(Y/n), are you okay?”
“Yes, I wanted to talk to you about the other day.”
He tilted his head slightly in curiosity but welcomed you in to his classic Japanese style room nonetheless.
“You don’t smile at me anymore, so I don’t drop dead.” It was spoken as a statement rather than like questioning his actions, as you knew it all too well.
“…It sounds ridiculous when you say it.” A hand awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck with a deadpan expression on his face when meeting your bemused features.
Once solidifying your composure, which took a minute as admittedly it was a challenge in itself to withhold your laughter for the sake of understanding his feelings.
“Two things.” You held up two digits whilst Shōto nodded sincerely, ready for you to continue.
“People are highly unlikely to die if you smile at them, Mount Lady was joking.”
“Yeah I figured. Based on both past experience and the fact Uraraka is still alive.” The icyhot user tiredly sighed, offering a small but guilty quirk of his lips.
“Which brings me to my second point, why were you so conscious of smiling around me? Especially since Ochaco got a smile out of you.” You crossed your arms now with a hint of mirth lacing your tone, rather intrigued by his potential explanation. However his voice remained confident and sincere, replying as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
“Because you’re the one I care about most. As you are the last person I’d want to inadvertently kill, it makes sense to be so conscious of my actions toward you doesn’t it?”
Now you were left speechless, just like he was during the initial interview, only able to stare at him blankly.
“Shōto you… care about me most?”
“Did it not come across that way? I always try to be—“ His voice was genuinely worried he hadn’t given you the right impression, you could already see him thinking of ways to correct his mistake, which is why you cut him off with assurance.
“No no it did, I just thought— nevermind. Please don’t hide your smile from me anymore, I likely won’t die upon seeing it.”
This time, when a soft smile graced his lips when looking at you, he didn’t attempt to shy away of cover it with his hand. The gesture of course was reciprocated.
———
Izuku was the one to find you pondering the matter later on though, despite the situation already being resolved.
“I assume you figured it all out with Todoroki?”
“Oh yeah, he said something that caught me off guard though.” It was the dampening tone you’d used that lead Midoriya to take a seat beside you, kind and upbeat tone ringing true.
“Really? Want to talk about it?”
“Well, he said he was so conscious about smiling around me because I’m the one he cares about the most. I didn’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything, Todoroki is a person who’d give you time to consider. I am glad he finally confessed to you though.”
It was silent for a moment, your mind felt like a record short-circuiting and repeating his words with declining clarity, meanwhile Izuku seemed oblivious to the personal intel he’d accidentally divulged after misreading the events.
“…”
“…”
“Um… Izuku.” You took a deep, preparing breath. “He didn’t confess to me.”
You saw the sheer panic wash over him like a tidal wave, his freckled skin significantly paler which is when the frantic apologies set in.
“I’m so sorry (L/n)! I wasn’t supposed to tell you that, Todoroki is going to hate me! Forgive me for misinterpreting the situation - I’ll have to tell him I’ve ruined his—“
Quickly you waved your hands in surrender, a feeble attempt at calming him prior to justifying your lack of anxiety compared to his.
“No, it’s okay Izuku. There’s no need for any of that.”
“Huh?! But I—“ His voice was still raised slightly, searching you for any kind of reasoning.
“I like him too. Now it’s even, you know both of our feelings.” The soft smile you wore, and your honest words, reverted the boy back to his original state - once again his cheery self.
“You do? That is good news, but what do you intend to do with that information?”
“I’ll wait until he’s ready to tell me himself.” It was a gentle shrug that accompanied your reply, content to do so.
“I understand (L/n).” The bright boy smiled brightly, to which you gladly accepted and hummed in thought.
“Besides, I’m interested to see what a confession from Todoroki Shōto would be like.”
<——————————<<<<
[ Masterlist ]
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daistea · 5 months ago
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Heyyyy! What would it be like if reader is pregnant with Mithrun's child, post story mithrun?
Tw pregnancy / children lol / 
˚. ✦.˳·˖✶ ⋆.✧̣̇˚.
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Whether the pregnancy is planned or not really depends on you and your relationship.
If you want a child on purpose, it would take some time and patience and convincing to get Mithrun on board. Pre-dungeon he was far too busy doing hot girl stuff to think about starting a family. Post-dungeon he was far too busy trying to stay alive and getting revenge to think about anything else. Post-canon, give him some time. He needs to figure out how to live. Once he’s settled for a bit, he’ll hear you out. 
If you’re a tall-man or some other short lived race, then he’s even more opposed. Not because you’re not good enough to have a baby with, or that he’s afraid of what society will think, but because how they age is so different. It’s a huge challenge. And halflings have difficult lives. It feels a bit cruel. He wouldn’t usually care whether or not he’s cruel, but this is different. This is one of his new purposes in life and he refuses to mess it up. 
However, in the end a child is still a product of love. You just discuss the ethics a lot. Even if you’re a long-lived race, he still takes into consideration the world and your families and how you’re living.
If the baby is unplanned… You break the news to him and he just disappears for a few hours. He was walking through the woods in silence. He made eye contact with a deer that had a fawn. It was a very spiritual moment. 
He returns ready to take on this challenge, exhibiting 2% more enthusiasm and motivation than he does most things. 
Mithrun is already quite protective, but it gets more intense once you’re pregnant. He watches you like a hawk. It’s actually kind of annoying and you have to tell him to chill out (he does not, but he will stop hovering so you don’t get stressed out)
As you get further along, he accompanies you when you leave the house. He prefers to be near in case anything happens, despite how safe Melini is in general. However, if you’re far along then you probably don’t want to be walking around anyway. 
Already, Mithrun is willing to do anything for his partner— as long as it doesn’t get in the way of his or your shared goals. He’s partly willing to do anything because that’s just the nature of his lack of desires. Yet, one of his new desires is to please you, so his willingness is also just for his own enjoyment. (I might develop this idea further sometime, the ensuing issues from complete willingness would be interesting to explore.)
So, it’s two in the morning and you want a very specific snack? Mithrun is already very nonchalantly pulling on his boots and leaving to get it, without you even having to ask. You stop him though because he’s about to go knock on a merchant’s door so they’ll open just for him. But if something is open, he’ll get it. If it’s possible for him to make it himself, he’ll make it. 
On his journeys to retrieve your snacks, though, he gets lost. Many times Melini guard or a friend has shown up at your door with Mithrun in tow like ‘is this yours?’
Mithrun doesn’t hide his emotions, per se, he just doesn’t connect with them enough to display them most of the time. So his anticipation for the baby doesn’t show much. It’s through his actions that you realize how he’s feeling. He touches your belly a lot, waiting for the baby to kick (he is very determined and very focused on the matter) and of course, as I said, he’s determined to give you whatever you need. Sometimes, when he’s kneeling in front of you, touching your belly, he furrows his brows a little in this small expression. It’s as if he’s confused as to why he loves this little baby so much already, when he hasn’t even met them. Parenthood is a very unfamiliar concept to him and he has trouble connecting with the idea, despite his decision to do well. 
He contemplates his own childhood a bit during this time, something he wouldn’t usually bother doing. He approaches the matter objectively, not feeling much of anything about how he grew up. He doesn’t really psychoanalyze himself. But he does make the decision to raise his child a bit differently than how he was raised. 
He becomes a little clingy at this time. Even before the pregnancy, he always found some way to be touching you, but it becomes more pronounced. He’ll have his hand on your stomach a lot, or pull you into his lap and bury his face in your hair. 
Mithrun is very prepared when you’re on outings together. You meet up with the Canaries for dinner or something and you need… Idk what pregnant people need. Napkins? Nausea medicine? Water, obviously, and good shoes. He has snacks too. He nonchalantly reaches into this overstuffed bag and pulls out what you need and the Canaries are like oooooooooo
Fleki asks if they should call him Daddy now. Mithrun doesn’t bother protesting because he knows they’ll do that no matter what he says. 
You and Mithrun are mamá y papá. Fleki and Lycion say they’re your free trial children. Modern au they beg to go to Mcdonalds and you’re like ‘ask your father’ so Mithrun pulls into the Mcdonalds drive through to shut them up. They cheer. He orders a single black coffee and drives away. 
If you get nausea early on in the pregnancy, he doesn’t really know what to do. He’ll hold back your hair if you need it. 
He does some research on what you can and can’t do while pregnant and becomes a know-it-all. 
Mithrun gives girl-dad energy, but he wouldn’t care what gender the baby is in the end. 
He doesn’t really know how to physically handle you. He’s never hurt you or been rough before (unless you wanted that) but he becomes way more gentle. 
If you headcanon that his parents are still alive, I feel like he wouldn’t really care whether they know about the baby or not. They’d probably find out through his brother. 
In fact, he doesn’t tell anyone the news. You and Mithrun visit his brother randomly and there you are, pregnant, months along, and his brother is like …Mithrun? Is your wife.. Pregnant? He just glances at you, then back to him, completely unfazed. Yeah. She is. 
Or his brother visits after the baby is born. He knocks on the door and Mithrun answers with the baby in a little carrier hanging from his chest. He doesn’t even acknowledge it or the fact that his brother had no idea, not unless his brother acknowledges it first. Mithrun’s just casually giving the baby a bottle or toys and his brother is waiting for him to explain why he thought it was a good idea to not inform his family that he was expecting?!
There was no pregnancy announcement. You were just with child one day and the world had no choice but to accept that. 
Modern au, he might have a very simple banner that says ‘it is a baby’ with a few sad, half-blown up balloons taped to the wall. You’re both just awkwardly standing beside it, staring into the camera. He texts this to his family or the Canaries with no caption then proceeds to ignore the ensuing panicked phone calls. 
He does not care what you name them as long as it’s not stupid.
Until a name is decided, you both just call them a placeholder name. (“How’s The Bean doing today?” “They’re kicking more than usual.”)
After they’re born, Bean sticks and turns into an affectionate nickname!
Mithrun walks around with the baby strapped to his chest. If you have twins and someone comments on the baby strapped to him, he just turns around and there’s another baby on his back. Yeah he open carries brandishes his son or daughter
Since he’s awake most of the time, I think he’d take over night duty a lot. He might fall asleep with the baby cuddled up in his arms or against his chest. 
He has to be taught how to change a diaper, but he learns quickly and becomes quite fast and proficient at it. 
He does not care if he’s covered in baby drool. He doesn’t get icked out easily. 
He’ll be feeding the baby, and if he needs his hands for something else he’ll just casually stick the spoon in his mouth to free up his hands. Some baby food tastes so bad but he can’t really taste it anyway. 
He can be found holding the baby often, with them usually leaning over his shoulder, held up by one of his hands (when they’re old enough to lift themselves a bit, of course.)
He is very careful with them as a newborn. 
He’s also very prepared at this point as well. He will be the one carrying the huge diaper bag most of the time. 
When they’re born, his first question for you is ‘are you okay?’ (You’re not, you just gave birth, idiot) but once that’s out of the way, his second question is ‘why does our baby look like a lumpy potato?’ as newborns frequently do.
In all, it’s a complicated subject for him. But he eases into the idea and the life, and he tries his best. He’s not the most emotionally present father, he’s imperfect as we all are, but he thinks things through and tries to make decisions that will benefit the growth of the child. He’s willing to make sacrifices. But he still gets very lost when going out to grab milk and your child is like ‘is daddy ever coming home?’ and you’re like sigh. Come on let's go find your father. 
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theostrophywife · 4 months ago
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CHAPTER TWO
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🤍 pairing: theodore nott x reader.
🤍 song inspiration: somewhere only we know by rhianne.
🤍 author’s note: losing my mind because i'm in dire need of a theo nott italian summer.
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Step 2 of Pansy Parkinson’s Perfect Plan of Plotting
Forced Proximity — : A circumstance or situation that forces the two main characters to spend time together (whether they want to or not).
After watching a horrendous amount of muggle romantic comedies — thanks Granger — I have come to the conclusion that the best way to squeeze a confession out of two lovestruck idiots is by forcing them to share the same space for an extended period of time, like say, the honeymoon suite in a romantic villa by the Italian coast. Never mind that I had to bribe stupid Malfoy with fancy imported French cologne to achieve it. It was worth every galleon to shove Theo and Y/N into a space designed for newlywed couples, complete with a heart shaped tub, champagne on ice, and a balcony that overlooks the stars at night. There’s a reason why forced proximity is such a popular trope. It’s effective as all hell, plain and simple. 
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Second Year, The Black Lake
A misty fog cloaked the Scottish Highlands, bringing a dark and dreary atmosphere to Hogwarts and its surroundings. Back at the castle, your friends huddled around the hearth in the common room, drinking Zabini’s fancy imported hot chocolate and catapulting marshmallows at each other across the velveteen couch. On any other day, you would have welcomed the warmth and comfort on a rainy Sunday, but today you were needed elsewhere. 
As you trudged through the black sand, the coins in your raincoat pocket clinked together. You brushed your thumb over the raised surface and willed your heart to stop beating so erratically. There was no reason to be nervous. Yet here you were, dragging your feet as a familiar figure came to view.
On the shore of the Black Lake, Theo hugged his knees and stared out into the water. The raindrops gathered on his lashes and drenched his hair, bringing out the waves he stubbornly gelled back every morning. 
“I like your hair better this way,” you said softly, smiling down at your best friend. 
Theo smiled shyly as he brushed his hair back. “I look like a drowned rat.”
“Just a little,” you teased, pinching his cheek. “In any case, you make a cuter rodent than Malfoy.” 
“It’s about time someone knocked him off his high horse,” Theo retorted before tugging you down next to him. 
The sand shifted beneath you as you settled in. Theo pulled the hood of your jacket up, frowning when he noticed that the rain had still soaked your hair. “What are you doing out in the rain, anyways? You’re going to catch a cold, fragolina.” 
“Says the boy who’s soaked through the bone,” you replied with an eye roll. “You really shouldn’t be out in this weather, you know. Godric forbid you come down with something. Nonna would be furious.” 
“Good thing she’ll never find out,” Theo said, nudging your shoulder. “Because I have a best friend who’s great at keeping secrets.” 
“For now. Though I’m not opposed to selling you out for the right price.” 
“Fair enough.” 
A comfortable silence settled as the two of you gazed at the murky waters. As Theo contemplated the cloudy horizon, you rubbed the coins in your pocket. For good luck or comfort, you weren’t sure. 
“You didn’t have to come out here,” Theo whispered. His hands shook as he reached out for yours. “But I’m glad you did.” 
A heavy weight settled in your chest, but you forced yourself to smile softly as you squeezed his hand in reassurance. “I didn’t want you to be alone.” 
The look that Theo gave you was heartbreaking. His gaze was full of pain, those familiar watercolour eyes lined with unshed tears. “I never am when I’m with you, Y/N.” 
Tears pricked behind your eyes, but you tampered it down and allowed Theo to lean against your shoulder. 
“Do the others know?” 
You shook your head. “No, I didn’t think you wanted them to. Not yet, at least.” 
“I’ll tell them one day,” Theo said. “When it doesn’t hurt as much. But for now, it’s enough that you know. I think she would have liked it that way.”
“Just me and you against the world,” you chuckled. “The way it’s always been.”
“The way it’ll always be.” 
“I miss her,” you confessed. Speaking the words felt like bringing heartache to life, but you knew that it was important to keep her memory alive. The anniversary of Evangeline’s death was full of sorrow, but there was also joy if you looked past the pain. Your mum always reminded you of that. “The other day, I saw a patch of daffodils out by the forest. They were bright and sunny, impossible to miss in all this dreariness. It felt like an act of rebellion. It reminded me of her.” 
Theo released a choked laugh. “She would’ve loved that.” 
“Mum thought so too,” you said in agreement. “I wrote to her the other day. She knitted you another pair of socks, by the way. Before you ask, yes, I have matching ones as well.” 
Your best friend snickered. While you adored your mother, knitting was definitely not her strong suit. You didn’t have the heart to tell her that though. 
“It’s a bit ironic that the head of the Department of Mysteries can’t solve the mystery of knitting, isn’t it?” 
You stifled a laugh. “I’ll be sure to mention that to mum in my next letter.” Theo chuckled as you crossed your legs underneath you. “She told me something interesting though.” 
“Yeah?” 
The coin seared into your skin as you gripped it tightly. You could hardly get the words out because you were so choked with emotion. “The last time she went to Fiera with Auntie Eva, they visited this temple. The Temple of Cupid.” 
Theo nodded, enraptured. “Mum told me about that too. There’s a legend about a fountain in that temple. La Fontana Dell’amore.”
“The fountain of love,” you continued. “It’s said that if you toss a coin into it, Cupid will grant you a wish. The two of them both threw their coins in there when they visited.” 
“I think I remember this story. Mum said that they both wished for true love. Your parents met on that same trip, right?” You nodded in confirmation. “I’m happy for your mum. Especially since Zio Alistair is my only ally against all you crazy women.” 
In response, you smacked him on the arm. Theo protested, biting back a smile. Your best friend blinked at the horizon, deep in thought. “Mum’s wish didn't come true, though. I don’t think anyone would ever call my father her true love.” 
“That’s the thing, Teddy,” you said softly. “Auntie Eva was already married to your dad when she made that wish.”
Theo turned towards you. His nose crinkled in confusion. The trait was so uniquely Theo that it softened something within you. “Then why did she toss the coin?” 
You brushed a wet strand of hair out of his eyes and smiled. “Because she was wishing for you.” Theo took a sharp breath as he gazed up at you. You felt your heart shatter into a million pieces as the first tear fell down his cheek. “Mum said Auntie Eva’s wish came true the day you were born. You are, and always will be, her true love.” 
All the sarcasm and smirks — the armor that Theo had built around himself cracked. Suddenly he was sobbing, launching into your arms and clinging onto you for support. You bore the weight of his grief, so dense and tangible that you could feel it permeating the air. It wasn’t fair that your best friend was already acquainted with this earth-shattering pain at such a young age. If you could, you would bottle up his sadness and pour it into yourself just so Theo would be spared from ever feeling it again. 
“I miss her so much,” Theo whispered. 
“I know, Teddy,” you replied, rubbing soothing circles onto his back while you rocked him. “Just let it out. I’m here for you.” 
Theo pulled back, sniffling. “I’m here for you too,” he rasped. “I know you’re being strong for me like a good best friend, but you lost her too.”
The words unlocked a fresh wave of grief within you. All this time, you tried your best to keep it together. You wanted to be there for Theo. You couldn’t afford to fall apart. It wasn’t something that he’d ever asked of you, but you thought it was the right thing to do. 
“You’re allowed to mourn just as much as I am.” 
A deep, wracking sob rattled through your chest. You missed your Auntie Eva. You missed the way she braided flowers into your hair. You missed the way she snuck you gelato before dinner, knowing that your mum would have a fit if she found the two of you scarfing straciatella down in the kitchen pantry like criminals. You missed the way she told you and Theo about the stars, pointing out the different constellations as you lay on the roof of Nott Manor. 
You slumped into Theo’s arms, burying your face in the crook of his neck as the two of you clung to each other like a lifeline. It was you and Teddy against the world. The way it always was and the way it’ll always be. 
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Day Two, The Temple of Cupid
The sunshine was blinding as you blinked yourself awake. Across the terrace, Enzo and Mattheo were cuddled up underneath a blanket while Draco and Blaise curled up on opposite sides of the sofa, clutching the ends of their shared knit throw in a power struggle. Thanks to the sangria, the lot of you had fallen asleep drinking and gossiping the night away. 
Beside you, Theo stirred and snuggled closer, his arm draped around your waist possessively. Sometime in the middle of the night, you had seemingly pulled the bottom half of the blanket over to your side, leaving his long legs exposed. Theo always complained that you were a notorious blanket hog, which you vehemently denied. Given the proof, you doubted that you could refuse it now. 
As you adjusted to the light, the double doors flew open, revealing a fresh-faced and well-rested Pansy. You had no idea how she managed to look so pulled together when you could barely see through your sangria induced headache. Her lips curled into a satisfied smirk when she spotted you and Theo tangled together. Out of instinct, you flipped off the smug looking witch. 
“Is that any way to treat your savior?” Pansy asked as she set down a tray full of sparkling vials. She clapped her hands, the loud smack echoing through the terrace. The boys startled, groaning about their hangovers. “Good morning, heathens. As always, I brewed a special batch of anti-hangover potions mixed with a little hint of pepperup to get you lot going. Drink up, we’ve got a long day ahead of us.” 
In true Pansy Parkinson fashion, the witch managed to wrangle everyone out of the villa and into a private yacht with minimum complaints. The potion was certainly doing a lot of heavy lifting, but even without the aid, it was hard to be annoyed when you were too busy marveling at the charming coastline. 
Vallara was a wonder. The hills rolled over the horizon, kissed by the bright sunshine. The colorful tiled villas dotted the sky with cotton candy hues, which grew smaller and smaller the further you ventured out into the water. The sea was calm this morning and the cerulean blue waters sparkled as the yacht cut through the waves like butter. 
At the bow, Enzo and Mattheo peered over the railing, giving you a pang of anxiety. You already warned them to stick close to the deck, but it fell on deaf ears. You yelped as Mattheo dangled Enzo backwards off the rails. Blaise and Draco shook their heads as they each claimed a spot by the sun deck. Just as you scolded the boys again, Pansy and Theo came back up from the bottom deck carrying trays of food. 
“Enz! Matt! Food is ready,” you shouted, heaving a sigh when the two of them finally stepped back from the rail. 
“Were they doing Titanic again?” Pansy asked with an eye roll. 
“Worse, they were trying to dangle each other over the water,” you responded as you handed each boy their breakfast trays. 
“We were trying to look for sharks,” Mattheo countered with a pout. “Until you started yelling at us.”
“Yes, so sorry for stopping your extremely idiotic behavior. I suppose I should’ve just let you throw yourselves overboard.” 
Enzo grinned like a little kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He took the breakfast plate from your hands and kissed your cheek. “Sorry, Y/N. We just got too excited.” 
You sighed and ruffled his hair. “One of these days those puppy dog eyes will stop working on me, Berkshire.” 
The brunette beamed brightly. “Not today, though.” 
“You spoil him, you know,” Theo said as he handed you a glass of orange juice. 
“I can’t help it. He’s like the little brother I never had.” 
“More like a pet you never wanted.” 
“Hey!” Enzo protested as he waved a piece of bacon in the air. “I heard that, you twat.” 
“See?” Theo said with a sigh. “Your beloved Lorenzo is not as innocent as he pretends to be.” 
You chuckled, watching Mattheo and Enzo wrestle over the last waffle before Pansy stepped in to straighten them out.  
Scooting into the seat next to Theo, you took a sip of the orange juice and balked at the taste. The bubbles were enough to make you want to spit it back out. The drink was more champagne than juice. After the sangria, you weren’t prepared for alcohol so early in the morning. Theo snickered as you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand. 
“Keep up, bella. Where’s the Y/N that used to double fist firewhiskeys at the common room parties?” 
“She’s still asleep, Theodore. For Merlin’s sake, it’s not even noon.” 
“Fun waits for no one,” Theo said before snatching the glass out of your hand and downing the entire thing in one gulp. 
“Oh, you’re going to regret that. I don’t want to hear about your tummy ache ten minutes from now.” 
Theo stuck his tongue out and continued scarfing down his breakfast. You finished yours slowly before joining Blaise and Draco out on the sun deck. According to Pansy, it would be an hour or so before you reached your destination, which gave you plenty of time to tan. Stepping out of your cotton dress, you adjusted your bikini and laid out on the beach chair. 
“Pans, will you put suncream on me?” Mattheo whined from the next seat over. 
Pansy twisted her nose up in disgust before sighing in defeat. It was easier to get it over with than argue. The two of you learned that the hard way over the years. She lathered the suncream on Mattheo’s back, half-heartedly patting it on. When she saw Theo step out into the deck, you saw the gears turning in her head. 
“Theo, will you put suncream on Y/N?” Pansy asked with feigned innocence as she handed the bottle over to him. 
You flushed as Theo looked over at you, his gaze sweeping over your tiny scarlet polka dot bikini. The tips of his ears turned just as red as he swallowed. 
“Um, I don’t know if that’s — “ 
“Pans, it’s really not necessary. I’m fine.” 
“Nonsense.” The witch shook her head, dismissing your statement. She leveled Theo a calculated gaze. “You wouldn’t want her to burn, would you?” 
“Of course not. I just —” Theo tripped over his words as he turned to you. “Is that okay with you?” 
“I’d be more than willing to rub you all over if Theo isn’t up for the challenge,” Mattheo said slyly. 
“Don’t even think about it,” Theo snapped. 
Mattheo and Pansy smirked at each other, watching as Theo carefully approached you. Clearly, they were both rather pleased at baiting Theo into reacting. Your best friend perched on the edge of your lounge chair, looking bashful. 
“May I?” 
Without a word, you nodded shyly. You didn’t trust yourself to speak. Not when he was this close. His hands hovered over your back, the warmth of his skin seeping into yours. Theo gently applied the suncream on your shoulders, massaging the product in with care. He averted his gaze while he worked, the tips of his ears burning the longer he touched you. 
You felt just as flushed as you forced yourself to sit perfectly still. This was ridiculous. It wasn’t like you and Theo rarely touched. In fact, you were quite affectionate, as every single one of your friends loved to point out, but it was different when you were practically half-naked. Squirming in your seat, you waited until Theo finished massaging the cream all over your back. 
“I think that’s good,” Theo said softly. 
You nodded, placing your hands in your lap. Mattheo cocked his head, a smirk forming on his face. “Do you want Y/N to do you next?” 
Theo looked panicked. “What?”
“The suncream, mate,” Riddle replied with a shit-eating grin. 
Fortunately, the captain announced your arrival before Mattheo could insinuate any more innuendos. As the ship docked, you peered at your gorgeous destination. The island was straight out of a storybook. The lush green jungle surrounded the base of a volcano, which spilled out to the white sands and turquoise shore. Instantly, Pansy called the group to order and announced the itinerary. The plan for the day involved dolphin watching, cave exploring, and a picnic by the beach. She ordered the boys to set up in the private cabana she rented, which they did so begrudgingly. 
Theo began to follow them, but Pansy stopped him short. “Not so fast. I booked something else for you and Y/N. You can join us afterwards.” 
Without further explanation, Pansy handed Theo a map, a blanket, and a picnic basket. You began to protest, but your friend merely waved off your argument. “Trust me, it’s worth the trek. You’ll thank me later.” 
As Pansy walked off, you and Theo were left to stare after her. You grabbed the map from his hands and squinted, gauging how far this little side quest was going to take you. 
“It doesn’t seem too bad,” you mused. “Just a little bit over the hill and we should find whatever it is Pansy has in store for us.” 
Theo nodded. “You know I never back down from an adventure.” 
“Not true,” you corrected. “You refused to go to the Forbidden Forest with me in third year.” 
“That’s not fair, bella. First of all, Sirius had just escaped Azkaban and sure, we found out that he wasn’t a psychopathic murderer later on, but how was I supposed to know that at the time? Second of all, he was hardly the biggest threat out there. Need I remind you of the spiders? They’re horrid little beasts.” 
“All I’m hearing is that Theodore Perseus Nott is a chicken.” 
“You take that back, Y/N.” 
You stuck your tongue out before breaking off into a sprint. Slowed down by the blanket and basket, it took Theo a few seconds to catch up with you. Alongside the hill, you followed the winding staircase that you assumed led to the peak. Theo shouted after you, promising to tickle you to death as punishment. 
“You’ll have to actually catch me first.” 
The taunt was short-lived as you reached the final step, turning around to gloat only to lose balance. Out of instinct, Theo dropped everything and reached out to break your fall. His strong arms wound around your waist, holding onto you for dear life. You clutched onto his shirt, the very breath leaving your lungs as you looked up. Theo stared down at you, his expression full of worry as he scanned over you. He released a sigh of relief when he determined that you weren’t hurt or injured. 
“Dio mio,” Theo exclaimed. “Don’t scare me like that, bella.” 
“Sorry Teddy,” you murmured, shakily regaining your balance. Theo brushed your lower back as he helped steady you, sending shivers down your spine. “I got a bit distracted.” 
His short-cropped waves tickled your cheek as he held you a beat longer than necessary, his blue eyes imploring. There was something alluring about them, like hearing a siren’s song after years and years of being lost at sea. Up close, you could map the constellations of freckles on his nose, brought forth by the Italian sun. Growing up, Theo detested them, often deeming them girly, but you always thought that they were cute. 
Your gaze fell to his lips, which you now realized were moving. Presumably asking you a question. “Hm?” you responded absentmindedly.
“Stick close to me, yeah?” 
You nodded as Theo guided you by the small of your back, leading you up the halfway point. From your vantage point, you could see the yacht docked on the shore. The boys were running around and playing in the water while Pansy lounged under the cabana. 
Up ahead, the path grew more narrow, forcing you and Theo to press up against each other. The summer heat beamed down on you, its warmth heightened by the boy leaning over your shoulder. Theo squinted at the map, his breath cool on your neck while you shifted your weight from one leg to the other. 
“This place looks familiar.” 
“I was just about to say that.” 
As you examined the map, Theo stalled to a halt. “I think I know why,” he said as he gestured to the entrance up ahead. “We’re here.” 
Atop the hill sat a beautiful garden, flanked on four sides by trimmed hedges that led into a labyrinth. The front gates shimmered golden in the sunlight, the curlicue letters spelling out a familiar name — Tempio de Cupido. You scanned the map in your hands, astonished that you hadn’t realized where you were until this moment. 
This was Fiera island. The same exact place that your mum and aunt Evangeline visited all those years ago. No wonder Pansy wanted the two of you to go alone. Theo picked the blanket and basket back up, staring at the entrance in awe. You reached for his hand and squeezed. 
“Shall we?” 
Theo swallowed thickly, his gaze heavy with emotion as he followed your lead. Together, the two of you made your way through the labyrinth, marveling at the sweet smelling flowers weaved into the lush walls. The path underneath you was white marble, surprisingly untouched by the dirt and grime. Vines crawled on either side, the green ivy moving on its own accord as if to guide you to the center. 
The temple stood proud and tall, its pillars looming overhead like a marble sentry. Inside was a statue of Cupid, his wings draped behind him as he held his bow taut. Heart shaped arrows littered his feet, flowing right into the fountain that took up the middle of the temple. 
Theo’s eyes widened as he turned to you. “Is that what I think it is?” 
You nodded in confirmation. “La fontana dell’amore,” you murmured softly, tracing the plaque beside it. “We have to make an offering.” 
“But we didn’t bring any coins.” 
The map in your hands glowed, revealing a secret message. Shake me. You followed the instructions and shook the paper, finding two golden coins sitting ready in the palm of your hands. 
“Leave it to Pansy to think of everything.” 
With a grin, you handed Theo a coin. He held your hand tightly and watched as you brought the coin up to your lips, kissing the edge of it like your mum told you she did during her last visit. Theo did the same, his eyes glassy and far away as though he were thinking of his mum too. 
“Make a wish, bella.” 
You closed your eyes and spoke your wish into the silence before tossing the coin into the fountain. The coins clinked together before hitting the water, shimmering iridescent as it sank down to the bottom. Theo gripped your hand tighter, a reminder of what this moment meant to the two of you. You squeezed back in reassurance, not needing any words to communicate the charged emotions surging through you. 
After a moment, you looked up at him and smiled. “What did you wish for, Teddy?” 
He grinned slyly. “If I tell you, then it won’t come true.” 
“Fair enough.” 
Beyond the fountain, depictions of the lore of Cupid were carved into the marble walls. The great love stories of mythology filled the labyrinth. Orpheus and Eurydice. Tristan and Isolde. Achilles and Patroclus. Finally, Cupid’s own story with Psyche. Each couple was in their own way, a tragedy. 
“Isn’t it strange that the god of love fell in love with the woman he was meant to curse?” 
“Ordered by none other than his mother, no less. Mythology does love its convoluted tragedies.” 
The irony of Cupid’s mother Venus commanding her son to strike Psyche with one of his infamous arrows so that she’d fall in love with a hideous beast only for the god to then fall for the young princess himself wasn’t entirely lost on you. Despite the trials and tribulations they faced, the dreamer in you admired their story.
“Still, Psyche persevered through the trials Venus put her through and became a goddess. In the end, her and Cupid reunited and solidified their union. It’s the story of immortal love.” 
As you spoke, you traced over the ancient script craved underneath the depictions of the couple. 
“Love wounds and inflames the heart.”
“I disagree,” Theo said. “Love isn’t supposed to hurt. It heals, it stitches your wounds back together, it mends the pieces of your broken heart until it’s whole again.”  
In that, you found no argument. You could feel Theo’s gaze landing on you. Those watercolor eyes that you knew better than your own. Those freckles that you traced over and over again until you committed them to memory. Those lips that spoke soothing words in your ear after a nightmare. 
The gods and goddesses may have their ballads and tragedies, but you had something far greater. 
With a smile, you nodded. “Love feels like home.” 
After exploring the temple grounds a bit more, you found the perfect spot for a picnic. One of the acolytes pointed you to a massive lemon tree, encouraging you to use the shade for an afternoon snack. 
You thanked the young woman for all her help. “Grazie mille.” 
She clasped your hands and smiled. “Mi scalda il cuore vedere l'amore giovane abbellire questo tempio. Possa Cupido benedire la vostra unione.”
As she walked away, you asked Theo for a translation. You understood a bit of Italian, but it required close concentration and the acolyte had spoken far too quickly for comprehension. 
“She said you’re welcome.” 
“Seems like she said a bit more than that.” 
Theo shrugged nonchalantly as you narrowed your eyes in suspicion. He rounded the lemon tree and spread the blanket underneath its shade. In turn, you began unpacking the food that Pansy had so graciously prepared for you. Theo sat cross-legged beside you while you prepared him a plate of bruschetta. Thanks to magic, everything stayed perfectly fresh. 
The two of you ate under the shade of the lemon tree, the citrus breeze ruffling the flowers before you. You wondered if your mum and aunt sat here in this very spot, admiring this very same view. 
“It’s strange, isn’t it? Being here, I mean. I almost feel like we’re seeing a glimpse of the past.”
Theo nodded, taking a sip of his limoncello before handing it over to you. “Maybe they saw a glimpse of our future. You think they knew that we’d make our way down here someday?” 
You took a generous gulp, indulging the tanginess of the drink. The view was picturesque with the temple standing tall above the peak of the hill while the sun rose high and bright over the labyrinth. Beside you, your best friend leaned back on his elbows and drank in the sight. 
“I think so,” you murmured softly. “Though I wasn’t quite prepared for how beautiful it all is.” 
Theo glanced over at you, his voice barely above a whisper. “Yeah. It really is beautiful, isn’t it?” His voice was thick with emotion as he intertwined his fingers with yours. “I’m glad that I’m here with you. I think mum would’ve been, too.” 
“Me too, Teddy. I feel her here. Watching over us.” 
You could’ve sworn that the sun shimmered a little brighter and the flowers bloomed beautifully, confirming Evangeline’s presence. This seemed exactly like the kind of place that she’d love. Out of the two of them, your mum always said Eva was the more adventurous one. You always thought that it was because she was a little bit like magic herself. 
“I feel her everywhere, but especially in this place. It’s like fate brought us here.” 
The words brought a smile to your face. In your friendship, Theo tended to lean on logic. His pragmatism was the balance to your constant daydreaming, but in this place, it was impossible not to believe in things like fate. 
“Don’t tell Pansy that, she already has enough of a god complex as it is.” 
Theo chuckled. “I don’t think she was alone in orchestrating this. I’d bet a billion galleons that nonna helped plan this.” 
“Wow, a whole month’s worth of your inheritance? How generous of you.” You giggled as Theo dug his fingers into your side, viciously tickling you. Gasping for air, you swatted his hands away. “Plot or not, I’m glad they schemed to make this happen.” 
A comfortable silence fell as the two of you passed the limoncello back and forth. Down in the gardens, the acolytes tended to the flowers, pruning each one to perfection. Their sheer pink gowns shimmered in the sunlight and on each of their chest was an embroidered scarlet heart, surrounded by golden arrows that signified their patron. 
“Teddy,” you whispered softly. “Do you truly believe in fate?” 
A soft breeze ruffled the lemon tree as Theo shifted beside you, sending his waves to flop right over his eyes. “Yes, but I haven’t always.” 
“What changed your mind?” 
“Second year,” he replied matter-of-factly. “That day at the Black Lake. Do you remember?” 
You nodded. It was the first anniversary of Evangeline’s passing. One of the toughest days in your young life. “Of course, Theo. How could I forget?” 
“Before you came, I asked my mum for a sign. Something to tell me that she was watching over me somehow.” Your eyes welled up with tears as he smiled to himself. “Then you came and found me. You told me that story and I knew.” 
“You knew what?” 
“I don’t know if it was fate or my mum or the universe, but someone sent you to me.” Theo’s eyes shone with emotion as he tucked you close. “I think they knew how much I needed someone like you in my life. Whoever or whatever it is, I’m thankful. You held me together that day. If it weren’t for you, I don’t think I would’ve made it this far. Thank you, bella.”
You sniffled, wiping a tear from the corner of your eye. “Me and you against the world, right?” 
“The way it’s always been and the way it’ll always be.” 
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After soaking up the sun a little while longer, it was finally time to head back. You offered to help Theo carry the supplies, but he wasn’t having any of it. Instead, he tucked the blanket into the handle of the picnic basket and held out his hand. 
“I don’t want you to fall again, bella.” 
With a shy grin, you intertwined your fingers together. Theo led the way, making sure to carefully guide you through the winding path. He toyed with the emerald ring on your finger as the two of you walked, his own rings clicking against yours. 
When you joined the others, your friends were back aboard the yacht. Pansy explained that you would be going to the other side of the island to sightsee the dolphins. After helping her herd the boys, the two of you finally had some peace and quiet as you settled on the lower deck. Pansy pushed her sunglasses down and raised a brow at you. 
“So, how was it?” 
“It was beautiful,” you said, already missing the temple. “Thank you for setting it up. It really meant a lot to Theo. To both of us.” 
“Anything interesting happen while you two were at the temple of love?” 
“I know what you’re getting at, Pans,” you said as you shook your head. “But Theo and I just talked about our mums. How great it was to do something that they did together all those years ago. It was special, you know? I’ve never felt closer to Aunt Eva.” 
“Good, it was meant to be a bonding experience. Nonna said it would bring you closer together.” 
“It has.” You side-eyed your friend. “So you did plot with nonna to make this happen?”
Pansy didn’t even try to deny it. “Mhm, she says she doesn’t have long on this earth and that you two needed a push. She’d like to meet her great-grandchildren while she still has her strength.” 
You flushed deeply. “Pans! You can’t just meddle in our business like this.” 
“Of course I can.”
“How many times do we have to tell you? Theo and I are just —”
“Friends?” Pansy finished with a scoff. She nodded towards Theo, who was looking up at you with a huge smile. He flushed when you met his gaze, shielding his eyes from the sun but refusing to look away. “Yes, because friends sneak pining glances at each other all the time.” 
“We’ve known each other since we were children.” 
“And?” 
“What if it messes up our friendship?” 
“You never know if you never try.” 
“Yes, but —”
“What did you wish for in that fountain, Y/N?” 
At that, you fell silent. Pansy crossed her arms, a satisfied grin tugging at the corner of her lips. Fortunately, you were saved from further interrogation when the boys squealed at something up ahead. 
“Fragolina,” Theo called from below. He waved excitedly, nearly tossing his binoculars over the railing. “I found one for you, come look!” 
Pansy shot you a knowing look, which you pointedly ignored. She followed after you as you joined the rest of your friends. On the lower deck, Theo beckoned you over to him. You allowed him to position you behind the railing, holding the binoculars for you as he pointed out into the horizon. 
To your delight, you saw a dolphin breaching the water. It flipped gracefully into the air before diving down into the depths again. Theo talked your ear off and you listened to every word, mesmerized by the random facts that he was spouting. 
From the corner of your eye, you saw Pansy shaking her head at you before she mouthed exactly what she thought about the sight of the two of you getting lost in your own little world once again. 
Just friends my arse.
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The waves crashed against the craggy rocks as the boys headed for the caves. The stalagmites jutted up from the earth like daggers, dotting their path with its sharp edges. Inside, a magical ball of light guided their way. Mattheo led the pack while Draco grumbled at the thought of getting his brand new boat shoes dirty. 
Theo rolled his eyes. “Who buys three hundred galleon shoes just to go cave exploring?” 
Mattheo snickered. “You know how Malfoy is. He’s a fussy little git through and through.” 
His friend climbed the slippery rock, dangling overhead. Theo followed suit, never one to be outdone by his best mate. Like clockwork, his idiotic stunt hadn’t gone unnoticed. Somewhere behind them, Theo heard your voice echo through the cave. 
“Teddy, don’t climb on there. You’re gonna slip and get hurt.” 
“I’m a grown man, fragolina. I’m fine!” 
Beside him, Mattheo dangled towards another rock and swayed towards Theo. “Soooo,” he said in a sing-songy voice. “You two were gone for a while. Have you finally manned up and made a move?” 
“No, you prick. We visited this temple that both our mums went to years ago. It was actually really nice.” 
“Oh yeah,” Mattheo drawled. “Pansy told me all about that. The Temple of Cupid, right? You’re telling me that you and Y/N went to the temple of the literal god of love and nothing happened?” 
“It’s not like that between us.” 
“But you want it to be.” 
Theo remained silent as he climbed higher to catch up with Mattheo. In the distance, he heard the sound of rushing water. He followed it, catching a glimpse of the blue lagoon that twisted all along the cave network.
“For fuck’s sake, mate. We’re in Italy. This shit is romantic as fuck. What the hell is holding you back?” 
“I don’t know. We just graduated and there’s a lot of things going on.” 
“That’s the same excuse you’ve given since I’ve known you,” Mattheo said with a frown of disapproval. “You know she’s not going to wait forever. Even when we were back at school, there were already plenty of blokes interested in her.” 
“Like who?” Theo asked in a dead serious tone. 
Mattheo shrugged, purposely staying silent to annoy Theo. He hauled himself over to the next rock over and crouched. “Weasley, Diggory, Pucey. Hell, I had a crush on her at one point.” 
“What?!” Theo exclaimed. 
At his outrage, he missed his step and slipped. Theo hissed when his back scraped against the rock. Even through his shirt, the rough, jagged edges stung against his skin. 
Mattheo chuckled. “You’re too easy, Nott. I was just fucking with you. Of course I never had a crush on Y/N. She’s like my sister. The others, though. Them you need to worry about.” 
Theo fought the urge to smack his friend as Mattheo hoisted him up. He debated tripping him over to see how he liked it, but the others had already caught up with them. Too many witnesses. 
You bounded up to him, concern marring your expression. “What did I say?” 
Despite the scolding that Theo knew you were dying to give him, you gently lifted his shirt up and examined the scrape carefully. “You’ll be fine,” you murmured. “I’ve got some healing cream we can apply when we get back and you’ll be good as new, okay?” 
Theo pouted. “Okay.” 
Finally, you sighed and relented. Theo grinned as you leaned up and kissed his cheek. “Just be more careful next time, okay, Teddy?” 
He nodded and smiled. “Okay.” 
Behind you, Mattheo smirked and made kissy faces. What an immature twat. 
Theo responded by giving him the middle finger. 
Later that night, Theo returned to the villa feeling weary yet glad. While he certainly had fun dolphin watching and cave exploring, nothing topped visiting the temple. Theo wished you could’ve stayed underneath that lemon tree forever. It was a memory he’d cherish for the rest of his life. 
As he washed away the remnants of the day, Theo found himself thinking of you. The way you looked at him underneath that lemon tree. Today was special for the both of you. A turning point in your friendship that was impossible to ignore. Even the acolyte commented on the obvious connection between you, cooing over young love. She wished Cupid’s blessing over the two of you, but Theo knew that you didn’t need it. He had known it for some time now. 
With a smile, he dried off and slipped into his pajamas. “Y/N? I’m ready for your expert healing now.” 
As he walked out into the suite, he found you curled up on the love seat with an open book in your lap and the healing cream curled around your fingers. You must’ve fallen asleep while waiting for him to finish showering. His heart softened at the sight. The day had been long and eventful, no doubt tiring you out. 
Wordlessly, Theo put away the book and carefully carried you to the bed. Earlier, you insisted on sleeping there instead of the bed, which Theo vehemently opposed. There was no way he was letting you sleep on the bloody sofa. You stirred in his arms, burying your face in his neck. Theo smiled softly to himself before he set you down. Instantly, you curled up against the pillow. Theo tucked you in and pulled the covers over you as gently as possible. 
Leaning down, he kissed your forehead and smiled. “I wished for you, bella.”
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cakelitter · 4 months ago
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Sugar Rush Sugar daddy! Leon x fem! reader
warnings: NSFW, sugardaddy! Leon, fem! reader, oral (f receiving), praise kink, age gap
summary: broke reader looks for a sugar daddy which happens to be Leon S. Kennedy
words: 4.1k
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“A week? How am I expected to find the money for rent by then?”
“I’ve given you 2 months to figure that out. This is the last straw, if rent is not paid by then, I’m afraid I’ll have to kick you out.”
“But I don’t even have a job I-”
The asshole hung up. Yet another door slamming right in your face. You throw your phone down on your couch as you sit next to it and contemplate what to do next. You can’t find enough money to pay in the span of a week, that’s impossible. You’ve been eating instant ramen for almost 3 weeks straight to cut down on costs, you’re starting to forget what real food tastes like.
You sigh and think about how you ended up in this situation in the first place, once being a hopeful college student who just graduated, full of energy, life, and so much optimist it’s nauseating. Found a new apartment in the capital and moved in a week later to find a job with nothing other than 3 cents to your name and a dream. You anticipated that finding a job with your degree won’t be such a difficult task, sure, your GPA wasn’t the best, but surely it won’t be that hard to secure a job.
If only you knew how naïve you were.
You’ve spent the past 4 months looking for a job left and right. Are people seriously not hiring these days? Either that or someone is praying on your downfall, or perhaps both. You’re way past the state of rock bottom at this point, if you looked through a dictionary for the word “fucked” a picture of your face would be there instead, smiling proudly with a medal around your neck. Your fingers claw at your life-long dreams as they try to slip away from your grasp.
Picking the skin off your lips, you start thinking about how you might have to move back to your home town, live with your parents again while they give you the ‘I told you so’ look, have to deal with people’s comments on why you came back and then have explain like a low life loser why. You start racking your brain for ways to find money, you need cash, and you need it fast.
How about you start selling drugs? Nah, you’d never survive in a field like that. Become a stripper perhaps? You’d fall off that pole and break your neck before you would’ve made a single penny. Your brain is filtering through the possible options you have at hand so quickly, your positive that smoke is coming out your ears at this rate. And that’s when you get it, the answer you were looking for.
A sugar daddy.
Bingo. The picture in your head features a white light with the silhouette of a smoking hot man in a suit leaning on a Porshe in the distance as dollar bills fall like flower petals angelically behind him. You do find older men a little hot, not that you tried dating any, but you’re not opposed to the idea of doing so. You’re no stranger to developing crushes on some older celebrities and video game characters, so this shouldn’t be any different…right? Look, you didn’t want it to reach this point, but desperate times call for desperate measures and in a week from now, you’re going to be homeless if you don’t start searching for someone’s dad to date right now. And apparently that’s all it took to convince you, as you find yourself downloading the app already.
Once the download is complete you open it, and you’re starting setting up your account. You pick the nicest picture you have of yourself, and it doesn’t take long before your account is good to go. Your eyes scan the matches that pop up on the screen, seeing the different faces in front of you that could be your new ticket of getting out of the predicament you’re in. And as you look, you read some of the disgusting bios that these men have, and soon enough a wave of self-awareness comes crashing down on you making you feel utterly disgusted with yourself. Are you seriously willing to go on dates with these dirty old men whose intentions are most definitely filthy, and for what? A hundred or two? You’re better than that, you’re an inspiring young woman with so mu-
Ding!
The device in your hand vibrates, grabbing your attention as you get sent a message request from someone on the app.  You open the message, the username is L.S.Kennedy and his message says
“Are all girls usually this pretty? Or is it just you?”.
You stare at the message in front of you for a good minute, that might’ve been the cheesiest thing you’ve ever read since middle school. The account that sent it doesn’t have a profile picture and the bio just mentions his age. He is in his early forties, and aside from that you know nothing about the man. Your survival instincts start kicking in telling you that it’s a bad idea, talking to strangers especially men, online is how most people end up murdered only for their bodies to be found in a ditch. In addition, this man is cringy as fuck, there is no way he thought that would actually work. Those fifty dollars are not worth the years these jokes of his are going to take off your life span. No way, won’t work, you’d rather be homeless.
Ding!
“Sorry if I came on too strong, I want to get to know you. How about 500$ for a first date? I’m willing to go higher.”
Your eyes go wide as you reread the number on your screen over, and over again. 500$. One date.
You love cringy and sappy shit, always had. They are in fact your favorite, love you a man with some cheesy pick-up lines. Call it love, call it fate, but this L.S.Kennedy guy is actually starting to grow on you.
“Hi! No not at all, I’d like to know you as well.”
Okay, that’s a lie. Being a slut and a liar is too much. You couldn’t care less about getting to know him, but alas rent won’t pay itself. The two of you then start talking for around an hour or two, he seems like a really nice guy. His name is apparently Leon and actually lives not too far away. His jokes are well… interesting. Epitome of dad jokes but again the man is the same age as your dad so that’s no surprise. On the bright side, he’s respectful and shockingly hasn’t said anything sexual or made you feel uncomfortable, so that’s a good start. Maybe this whole idea isn’t so bad after all.
The date was set for tomorrow at 7pm. He offered to pick you up but you refused. Listen, you’re dumb enough to go on a date with a man you knew for less than two hours for some quick cash, but not dumb enough to send him your address. The date will be at a nearby restaurant, one of the fanciest restaurants in Washington DC. You even heard that some celebrities and governmental officials actually go there.
Truth be told, you’re starting to get excited, this is by far the nicest thing a man has ever done to you. Albeit, the voice at the back of your head keeps reminding you that he could be dangerous, a stalker, a criminal, or worse, likes banana flavored stuff. A man with this much money is either in a higher up position, or simply working with the wrong people. Now that you think about it, perhaps asking him what he does for a living would’ve been a wise choice. But you didn’t want to sound like you were going after his money! Well, you are but at the end of the day, you still have manners.
The next day eventually rolls around and you start getting ready. You pick the best dress you have that hugs your body perfectly. Wanted to go for something which screams classy and elegant yet still hot. Just because you’re in debt, doesn’t mean you need to look like it as well.
Your friend agrees to drops you off at the location, she knows you’re going on a date with some guy you met on a dating app. She was almost as excited as you were when you found out where this “gentleman” was treating you. Little does she know this said “gentleman” is twice your age… let’s just hope you’re not going out on a date with someone’s husband.
Walking into the restaurant, you shoot him a text informing him that you arrived. Your phone vibrates a couple seconds later with a text that says.
“Waiting for you on the table near the second window.”
You start making your way to the table, and when you eventually find it, you’re greeted by the hottest man you’ve ever seen in your entire life standing near the table. He smiles softly and compliments you, you brain still didn’t register what he said though, as you’re still in awe with how good he looks.
Light brown hair, stormy blue eyes, a slight stubble decorating his chin and crow’s feet forming on the corner of his eyes as he smiles. His body, is in such a good form. Broad shoulders and massive biceps making the white button up shirt that he’s wearing tight in some areas. The chest, oh the chest, surprised how he’s not wearing a bra with those pillows glued to his chest, enough milk supply to feed a whole village.
The hidden cameras better come out now cause you’re definitely getting set up. This man is paying you to go out with him, while you’d pay a kidney and sell your friend for him to even step near you. He definitely has the sugar and daddy part checked off. You spent all this time searching for a job with no success, and you bag him first try? Maybe you should consider switching domains.
The two of you sit down at your table. The view from the window next to you is breath taking, the sun is setting and as she does, the rays reflect on the glass windows of the building below you creating a masterpiece of orange and red hues. The breeze up here is so refreshing, as the faint sound of by-passing cars honk below you. Your eyes move back to the man in front of you.
“This place is nice.”
“Glad you like it sweetheart.”
You’re already fighting the urge to sit on his lap and all he did was call you a stupid pet name. If you were a dog, your tail would definitely be wagging right now. The waiter eventually walks over to your table and you both place your meals before he walks away leaving the two of you alone once more.
“Can I ask you a question?” you say and he raises an eyebrow in return followed by a polite smile.
“Sure, go ahead.”
“Why do you not have your name or your face on your profile?”
Understandable question, he’s hot as fuck and would have woman fighting over him on that app if he showed his face. He chuckles at your question, the kind of laugh that sounds like a yacht and a mansion in the Maldives.
“Well, my field of work requires me to keep a low profile, not that I’m complaining anyway. Plus I don’t think my face is really important in these kinds of dates anyways. I know that probably looked really suspicious but I can assure you, I’m not trying to kill you.” He says the last part as he raises his hands defensively.
You nod gently in return. While that did answer some of the questions you had, you were still intrigued to learn more about him. What field does he work in anyway? How can he afford all this? Curiosity was getting the best of you, and so you ask.
“What do you do for a living?”
He grins, and looks at you for a few moments before answering.
“Hmm I get it. Nothing illegal, so that pretty head of yours can stop worrying.” You’re honestly a bit embarrassed now, it’s a date not an interview. But you needed to make sure that you’re safe okay! Better safe than sorry.
He then starts asking questions about your interests, past, favorite movies, etc. And soon enough your food arrives, you continue chatting as you take some bites out of your dish. He’s genuinely interesting, and very attentive. You notice how he watches your expression, body language, and the tone of your voice. Throughout the conversation you learn a bit more about him as well, learned how he went to police academy, hated wearing ties, and thinks that reading books is boring. Last one is a bit problematic, but sure.
Time passes and maybe it’s your brain playing tricks on you, or maybe it’s the wine you keep on sipping, but he seems to get flirtier by the minute. You notice the way his eyes drop down to your lips shamelessly as you speak, and how they linger for a little too long on your chest. You’re not completely innocent however, you are guilty of tilting your head to the side every now and then, batting your pretty mascara covered lashes at him causing a smirk to rise on his face. You manage to get away with it a couple of times before he decides to comment about it.
“Need something sweetheart? I’d like to hear some of those thoughts of yours.”
“I think you’re hot.” That was bold, but he asked for it. Your words don’t even take him by surprise, he knew what you were thinking about, its written all over your face but he just needed you to say it out loud.
“Feelings mutual. How about we get out of here yeah?”
He orders the bill which he pays while leaving a generous tip. The two of you get up, head out the restaurant’s door, and walk over to his car. He opens the door for you in true gentleman fashion and gets in himself. The car smells clean, almost like its brand new. The inside is plain with not much decoration but pretty neat. The windows are tinted blocking out anyone from spying in. He twists the car keys and the engine roars to life and soon enough you start heading towards his place.
Sometime during the ride home, his hand rests on the inside of your thigh and starts slowly moving up to your center before stopping. You bite your lip as heat starts pooling between your legs. His hand then begins caressing your thigh, running his thumb up and down, so close yet so far from where you actually want him to be. The whole time his eyes are fixated on the road ahead of him, simply toying with you for his own fun. Things remain the same for a while before his hands snake up our dress even further, thumb making contact with your cunt. His strokes are lazy and weak, almost as if his fingers are ghosting over your bundle of nerves.  Your hips squirm at the sensation and you attempt to move your hips closer to his hand to get more friction. But as you do that moves his hand away from you and repositions itself back on your thigh causing you to whine in protest.
“Almost there baby, can you wait a few minutes more for me? Promise I will make it worth it.”
He looks over to you and you nod a little too enthusiastically. His lips upturn into a smile at your eagerness.
“Such a good girl.” He says, his knuckle brushing against your cheek.
The car then parks at an apartment building, the type that is 16 stories high and the oxygen alone, feels more high quality. He gets out of the car and opens the door for you, before taking your hand in his and making his way to the entrance. The sound of your heels clacking on the tile floor of the reception as you follow his lead to the double doored elevator. You both walk in and he presses the button to the last floor which is followed by the elevator doors closing.
As soon as the two of you are alone in the space, his hand grabs your wrist pinning you onto one of the walls as his other hand grabs your hip before crashing his lips onto yours. You kiss him back, your free hand touching the exposed part of his neck before going up into his hair. He groans at the sensation and grinds his hips into yours, feeling his hardened cock through his pants causing you back to arch. His tongues coax its way into your mouth and you reciprocate. Both of your lips disconnect for a moment as he decides to move to your neck next, sucking and biting on the open skin leaving red and purple marks to blossom in the places where his mouth once was. A soft whine escapes you at the feeling of his hot mouth on the sensitive skin of the crook of your neck.
The elevator dings announcing your arrival, which is followed by the door opening revealing the stupendous penthouse in front of you. The windows are ceiling high and have a wondrous view of the capital, the apartment is dimly lit with only a few lamps illuminating the black and gray living room furniture. The house that you see getting sold for millions of dollars.
“I’ll give you a tour later.”
He says as he picks you up and throws you over his shoulder, giving your now exposed behind a smack, and your legs kick in return. He makes his way up the stairs and into what you can only assume is his bedroom before tossing you down on your back and caging you in with his arms. Your hands reach out locking behind his neck pulling him into another kiss, as his hand reaches out for your breast, fondling it through the fabric of your dress.
The stickiness between your legs is starting to get uncomfortable as the sensations of pleasure start taking over you. His hips which are now situated between your legs start rutting against you and open your legs further in return. You feel a hand unzip your dress as you shift slightly allowing him to take the article of clothing off which is then followed by your bra. As soon as your top naked, he wastes no times latching his mouth to one of your stiff peaks, while the other hand flicks the other. He switches between sucking on your nipple and leaving some bite marks of the delicate flesh.
Moments later the removes his mouth with a resounding pop, and starts kissing his way down from the valley between your breasts till the waistband of your panties. He gets off of you for a moment to unbutton his shirt and unbuckle his belt removing it and tossing it somewhere behind him, his pants following a second later. Your eyes travel over his body, unsure where to look at first. Chiseled chest muscles with some trimmed chest hair, defined abs and an unremarkable V line leading to his covered crotch area with few scars scattered all over his body like stars.
“Staring is rude y’know. But you’re cute so I’ll let it pass.” He jokes and moves positioning himself between your legs, he gives your clothed cunt an open-mouthed kiss, his hot breath making you squirm at the feeling.
“Been wanting to taste you all night.”
His fingers grab the hem of your panties pulling them off, revealing your glistening core to him. You feel the familiar sensation of his thumb on your clit once again moving in firm circular motions as his eyes remain glued to your center. The same thumb then moves down to your entrance collecting some of your dripping arousal before going back to its original position.
“Damn baby, all of that for me?”
You nod, your eyes feeling heavy and brain fuzzy from his skilled fingers.
“What you get your clit rubbed a few times and now you can no longer speak? Use your words, I know you can.”
“Yeah, for you. All for you.”
“Atta girl”
He speaks before replacing his thumb with his mouth, your head falls back against the plush mattress as a moan escapes your lips. His hands grab your hips keeping them in place as he eats you like a man starved. He shifts between sucking on your bundle of nerves and dipping his tongue into your entrance, as the prickly feeling of his stubble somehow makes the whole experience much hotter.
Your completely fucked out at this point and he hasn’t even fucked you yet. This is probably the best head you’ve ever gotten in your life. Maybe going after older men was the right call after all. Your hand reaches out and grips his soft hair tugging on it, earning a groan from him which vibrates through you, only intensifying the feeling bubbling inside of you. The view in front of you is now practically burn in the back of your mind till the day you die. The knot in your stomach only seems to get tighter and tighter as his tongue laps over your cunt over and over again.
“Gonna cum.”
“On my face baby, show me how good it feels.”
He opts to focusing on sucking on your clit as two of his fingers penetrate you, and begin to move at the perfect pace and that was enough to send you over the edge. Stars explode behind your eyes as your whole-body shakes. The feeling of his tongue on you that was once causing you pleasure, has now turned into the uncomfortable feeling of overstimulation. You whimper and tug on his hair once again. His face detaches from your core, chin shiny and coated with your arousal as he sucks off the remaining fluid on his fingers and he moves back up removing his underwear. His dick springs free, tip red leaky with precum as he strokes it a few times. Dropping down to your level, he gives your lips a soft kiss while he teases your entrance with his dick for a few moments before he bullies it into you with ease thanks to how wet you’ve gotten. He sucks in a breath of air as your heat envelops him. The tip almost kisses the opening of your cervix as pain and pleasure start to become undifferentiable. You feel full, the fullest you’ve ever been.
“Fuck, tightest fucking pussy I’ve ever had”
Both of you are now face to face with each other, as he gives your furrowed brow a quick peck. His hips then start to move back before going in once more. He grabs your hip with both of his hands as he starts picking up the pace. The look on your face says it all, completely and utterly cock drunk. Eyes droopy, mouth drooling, and babbling pure none sense.
“You still with me sweetheart?” he chuckles as he continues his rocking motion.
“Feels good.”
“And what do you say?”
“Thank you Leon, thank you so much.”
In return, his pace quickens. The sounds of skin smacking and both of your moans fill the quiet room. You don’t know where that came from, never in your life you ever said something like this. This man puts his dick in you once and he’s already rearranging all of your brain chemistry… and your organs. You’re already starting to feel your orgasm creeping up on you once more as your moans only seem to get louder. The pace that Leon is fucking you in, in addition to the praises that are spilling out of his mouth in tandem force another orgasm out of you as you claw at his forearms in attempts to stay grounded.
The spasming sensation of your heat around him causes him to moan as his peak approaches. He pulls out of you, gives himself a few strokes before finishing all over your stomach and collapsing next to you. After his breathing regulates again, gets up, grabs a towel and cleans the mess he made before tucking you in and placing a kiss at the crown of your head.
“Leon” your voice softly calls out to him.
“Yeah?”
“Are all middle-aged men usually this pretty, or is it just you?”
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broooooo · 1 year ago
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Dronehood
____________________
In today's world , the world has been slowly taken over by drones, whether it was by force, choice or persuasion, men are being converted, covered in a shiny black latex, a second skin, a well built muscled body, constantly aroused and hard. The mind does seem to remain keeping the hosts personality, but there's a big focus of obeying the master and the pleasure of dronehood
At first the world was scared, but as the drone army expanded, it slowly became normal, as if it's a rite of passage for teenage, adult men. It's even become a kind of entertainment to watch a conversion happen, could inspire others , or worn them.
Then there's me
I am Aaron, 21, regular build, living in an apartment, IV never been opposed to the drone movement. It's interesting to watch.
Deep down I wouldn't mind becoming a drone myself, it genuinely sounds fun.
Iv watched my childhood friend, Jason, become one before my eyes, he had wanted it for a while, and decided to get a slow conversion, he wanted to experience all the feelings grow and build.
The conversion itself is simple, intercourse with a drone, you may or may not include leather articles of clothing such as gloves or boots for extra pleasure. When it's done, the new drone is given a serial number name, but can keep their human name for interactions with others, plus they can take off their head mask for easy identification.
I myself don't leave my room a lot, i just watch from my TV or the window, hearing it through my walls too at times. Jason's my roommate, but he's never home, he's busy converting others or just hanging out with other drones.
Somewhat makes me jealous, before his conversion , we were the same, locked in your rooms not doing much, it honestly is a better life for him, and I'm happy,
It's possible to request a drone conversion, many have done it, Idk why I haven't done it yet, I guess I want to keep my peace for a little while, but ik at some point it will get too much to bear and then I will know I'm ready.
_________________
It was a normal day for me, watching my conversions , and contemplating life. When suddenly I hear the front door open, I rush out to see him, Jason standing in the door way, his heavy leather boots stomping on the floor as he closes the door. He looks at me, I haven't seen his have a week's.
JASON!?* ITS been so long, how.. have you been?*
He smiles and embraces me in a hug
*Iv been well, I missed you*
My face goes flush red, as I hug him back.
His latex skin is soft and shiny , the feel of hard muscles, it makes my heart race.
We pull away and I ask*
What are you doing here Jason?* Don't you have missions ?*
Jason laughs and says * well I do live here, plus even drones need rest.*
I answer back"
Well that makes sense , yeah*
Jason goes sit on the couch to watch TV.
*mind getting me a sparkling lemon water Aaron?.
Oh? Ok sure , I'll make us both one *
I go the kitchen, fill two cups with soda and prepare to cut lemons, during all this my mind races with thoughts, the sudden appearance of Jason and the feeling of his skin, it felt great. I feel hot, almost dreaming of it
As I'm cutting lemons the knife slips and cuts my hand, breaking me out of my dream like state
GAH*
Jason turns and runs up to me concerned
Are you ok?*
I'm fine just cut my self.
I go to clean up the blood and find a bandage, but problem, we where out of bandages
*darn we're out of bandaids.
Well I have a suggestion*
I turn around to see Jason's bear hand outstretched holding a latex glove.
You took it off? Isn't that yours?
Don't worry, I get a new one, my body can create it naturally.
I look at the glove as I hold it, it's soft,
The glove has a healing effect to it, it protects us drones from major injuries.
Huh, convenient , as I smile* thanks
I put the glove over my disinfected hand, I move my fingers about feeling it, it was soft, silky and comfortable.
So this is how it feels?* I say
Yeah, it's quite the sensation isn't it?,
Very much so, no wonder many ppl become drones.
Jason helps me finish the drinks and we go sit on the couch together.
Have you thought about dronehood much Aaron?
I turn to him and choke a little ,
Have I thought about it? It's ALL I can think about xd* I say with laughter, I observe it happen from my room, since your never hear.
And before you ask, no, I don't think I'm ready yet.
Jason looks into this drink and back up to me, he leans a hand over to touch my shoulder,
He smiles and says, * when you're ready then, no force, I want you to enjoy it as much as possible.
I peek up, *I KNEW IT, you planned this, laughing.
You were always a trickster you, we both laugh
Well Aaron , I. Do hope you enjoy that glove, it will help you decide, I'm sure of it.
I turn to look out the window and smiles
*thanks, i-, will definitely have an answer soon I'm sure.
___________
Afterwards we hang out the rest of day, it was a fun reunion, full of talk and catching up untill sun down
We both go to bed , crashing instantly as I'd been so tired after today.
The next day Jason and I bid farewell as he leaves for a mission.
I'm left alone and go to my room , sitting on my bedroom couch
_____
Hm, planed or not, I'm happy I have this glove. I turn on the TV to watch some more conversions
I feel hot and steamy imagining it, before I know it I'm rubbing my bulge with the gloved hand , my dick getting erect from what pleasure I can muster,
And idea popped into my head, I head over to Jason's room, and my mind was validated when I saw them, an extra pair of leather boots,
*planned this too Jason? Well idc, thanks*
We happen to be the same size, even so is force my feet into them, the boots go up to my kne, tall and shiny, sliding my feet in, my heart and mind are racing , my dick is rock hard , the sensations are over powering, I lace them up tight, whist I remove my clothing.
I stand up to look to the mirror, naked with only a latex glove and leather boots on, the weight of the boots and the tightness, protecting me, I go to my bed,I start to edge off slowly, aroused to high heavens and enjoying it all. Whilst the sounds of conversions from the TV hum in the background.
I never realized it but the dream like state I was in of edging and leaking lasted 3 days, I was covered in pre, drooling and gooing out, the latex glove and boots has started to spread up my legs and arm, then came Jason, he stood in my bedroom doorway, smiling, he comes over and jumps on top of me, squeezing my nipples hard
I moan hard and leak over me
*ready Aaron?*
Laughing through the intense pleasure ,
*hehe yeah. Convert me friend* I'm ready*
Jason's glowing purple eyes look into mine,
___________
Jason's hard latex dick at the ready, and with a passionate kiss it commences, what felt like a. Eternity, lasted a week of slow intense sex and conversion. As I expected it all
By the end of it, we and the bed were wet in pre, drool and juices, through the days, the latex nanites from Jason's dick slowly transformed my body, spreading the latex all over whist giving my muscle to fit, the climax of the conversion was then.
Jason fucking my tight ass, we both prepared for it , cum
It was a screech of intense pleasure, black nantite filled cum sprayed in ropes out our dicks, lasting 69 minutes of constant cumming, fucking and kissing, and the cum pool around us and soak back up into our bodies, , strengthening the conversion.
When it was all over , we lay there together tired and in love
My eyes start to glow to an intense blue. My mind was reshaped and ready,
Looking to Jason's eyes I say.
* I am ready to obey , ready to spread , ready to cum alongside you *
Jason smiles and kisses me, *ik.. drone 6923..*
My eyes flash, * yes... My new name.. thank you..
Drone 8696..*
___________
In the end we two drones, continued to make out intensely, passionately, never running out of cum
Untill the next mission is handed to us, and. I join Jason on my first crusade, We will enjoy each other forever.
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______
: D
I enjoyed this one , genuinely think it's one of my best works yet
Hope you enjoy it, fellow drones
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gloryofroses19 · 9 months ago
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Because the Night
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The atmosphere in the pub was already in full swing by the time Major Bucky Egan led his group to the table Tommy saved for them.
“Jesus, it’s like those paratroopers never seen a woman before.” Curt wiped his uniform jacket, “They took one look at [y/n] and it was like Niagra Falls.” 
Taking the seat Bucky held out for her, [y/n] thanked him as she sat. 
“I think Ol’ Faithful Geyser at Yosemite might be a better choice Curt.” Buck replied taking a seat across from Bucky. 
“Yeah, yeah whatever cowboy.” Looking at the expectant faces of Bucky and Buck, Curt sighed “Yes, Bucky I wouldn’t mind getting the drinks. Why thank you Buck, I am the kindest man in this bar.”  
Ignoring Curt and Buck, Bucky leaned in closer to [y/n] watching the paratrooper across the bar tense. “So, who is he?” 
Major Bucky Egan was not shocked that men looked at [y/n]. She was not only one of the few women around, but she was as pretty as a picture. And she knew it, hell it was on the reasons Bucky liked her. Her beauty caught his eye but her self assured nature drew him in. So while he didn’t love the looks men gave her in general, the look of recognition and remorse in this paratrooper in particular sent air raid sirens through his mind. 
Twisting her earring with a sigh, [y/n] met Bucky’s inquisitive gaze. “My ex.” 
Raising his eyebrows as if to ask for confirmation of what he just heard, [y/n] nodded to the brunette.  From across the table Major Buck Clevens sat up straight as he watched the growing opposing demeanor of the pair. One that spoke of apathy while the other spoke of interest in the topic. 
“Who we fightin’?” Dropping the drinks on the table, Curt rejoined the trio, “Bucky’s got that rabble rouser look on his face.”  
“The ginger at 12 o’clock doing a shitty job at secretly surveying [y/n].” Buck drawled watching Bucky attempt to catch the ginger’s eye. Major Gale Clevens knew John Egan well enough to know when he was looking for a fight. Gale had seen John protective over his friends and his men, so he could only imagine what he would be like over his unofficial girl.  
“No shit? Want me to fuck him up for you?” Turning around in his seat, Curt assessed the paratrooper and his friends. “There’s only four of them, we can easily take ‘em.” 
[y/n] leaned back in her chair contemplating the situation she found herself in. Before she had walked into the bar, her biggest concern was how she was going to keep Bucky from serenading her tonight. But walking in and seeing her ex’s face and John’s reaction threw that concern right out of the window. 
“While that is sweet of you Curt, no. It’s been two years, I’m long over him and if anyone should be scared, it should be him. I’m not the one who cheated.” Since their breakup, she hadn't put much thought into her ex or dating. And it certainly wasn’t because she was still in love with him. Rather the war broke out and she joined the WAC leaving her with little time or interest to date. Or that had been the case until Major John Egan swaggered his way onto Thorpe Abbotts base. 
“That fucker… makes me wanna punch him more now.” 
 “If it makes you feel better Curt, I broke his nose when I found him cheating.” 
“Atta girl.” Buck chuckled while sipping his ginger beer. He expected nothing less from the spitfire who stole his best friend’s heart. 
 “Didn’t you say you were getting harassing letters from an ex?” The arm that had been carelessly thrown over the back of her chair suddenly wrapped around [y/n]’s shoulder pulling closer to John. 
“I was exaggerating, John. It was just a letter!” Placing her hand over his, [y/n] squeezed his hand in a silent plea. “Please don’t do anything stupid...” Looking for Buck for support, [y/n] was however, met with the profile of the blonde major.
Bucky chuckled as he watched [y/n]’s attempt to deter him. While he and Gale Clevens may have been opposites, Buck was a true friend.  And true friends let other friends knock out the guy bothering his girl. “Won’t be considered anything stupid if it comes to you, sweetheart.” 
Between the protective glint in his eyes and baritone voice, [y/n]’s heart began hammering in her chest. Grounding herself in the contrast of his rough hands against her softer ones, she was reminded of who Major John Egan was. “Look if he comes this way then you can be my knight in shining armor but right now can we just go back to flirting and listening to Curt rewrite a story about how amazing his flying is?” 
Curt put hands up in defense. “Hey, I am amazing at flying and I don’t rewrite stories, I just…embellish them.” 
Hooking an arm around Curt’s neck, Buck tapped a fist against Curt’s chest. “Oh embellish, what a big word for you Curt.” 
Deciding that it had been far too long since he had her attention all to himself, John Egan tucked an escaped curl behind her ear before leaning in to whisper.  “…So you are flirting with me, Lieutenant? Keep that up and someone might think you like me.” 
The warmth of his body and the smell of his aftershave left her all but lightheaded. They had unofficially officially been an item since his second day at the base. When she decided to share her umbrella and laughter with the handsome hapless Major who lost the battle and a shoe to the English mud. 
“Oh the horror Bucky…” 
“Oh, calling me Bucky, you must really want me to do this for you.” Caressing her the inside of her wrist, John considered if tonight would be the night he could kiss her like he always wanted to. As a promise for it their last first kiss because the night belongs to lovers like them. 
“I’ll call you whatever you want as long as you don’t start a bar brawl.” [y/n] supplied in response watching the smile light up across his face, knowing she had opened a can of worms. But she couldn’t say she regretted it; Bucky Egan was the sun and she basked under his warmth.
“Oh, with a request like that how can I say no?… for now.” Sharing in her laughter, John placed a lingering kiss on her cheek. 
Sipping his whiskey, John turned back to the group and sought counsel on his new dilemma. “What do you think boys, handsome, the way to go? No, maybe I should go with pretty boy? No, too soft. Mhmm, how about my darling future husband? Now that has a nice ring to it!” 
A/N: I apparently have a thing for hand holding... I appreciate any and all feedback!
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blooberrries · 6 months ago
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「 extemporaneous 」 — 07 ☾
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— pairing: multi; shoto x reader, izuku x reader (so FAR...) — genre: hybrid au, slow burn-ish, reverse harem — wc: 3.4k — rated: nsfw; heavy petting (?) — notes: it has the barest sprinkle of spice. soon we will arrive upon the porn with plot...... soon....... save me
You've never really had much to do with hybrids, existing in your own little bubble for a majority of your life. That comes to an end when your friend phones you for help and somehow you end up taking two hybrids off of her hands while they recuperate in the wake of an unfortunate incident. But when the time comes that they have to leave, will you really want them to go?
⟵prev. || masterlist || next⟶
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Recently, the boys have taken to accompanying you on your morning exercises.
The weather is getting cooler, and with it the days shorter, so you’re not particularly opposed. Well, you wouldn’t be anyway because you enjoy spending time with them and there is also no way in hell that you would miss the opportunity to see them work out.
(For scientific reasons, of course. Hybrids are built a little different, after all. You’re definitely not a pervert and any source saying otherwise constitutes defamation.)
You’re on your back, having sprawled on the cool grass around ten minutes ago in an attempt to catch your breath after a run. You might have bitten off more than you could chew by telling them they could set the pace, but you’d sooner stub your own toe than admit the difference in your fitness levels. Thankfully you’ve regained control of your lungs and are no longer heaving, and they appear none the wiser to your momentary health crisis. You are pleased to maintain even scraps of your dignity at this point.
“I like this park.” A voice muses from your left. You allow your head to roll slightly, eyes falling upon the stretched form of the canine hybrid beside you. A breeze rustles the snowy hair that brushes his right cheekbone. “Quiet. Peaceful. Also, quite pretty.”
You hum in agreement; you’re in a meadow-like area that you can reach by following the footpath for a kilometre or so. Trees loom tall on the outskirts, creating verdant walls of green that curl the small sanctuary into their embrace as warmth from the sun pools in the centre and glimmers off the dewy grass. Instead of speaking, you allow a moment for the reply from Izuku that you can feel coming. It enters the air like clockwork barely a second later.
“Isn’t it, Sho?” Izuku tilts his head back, the sun filtering through foliage to paint his skin in swathes of gold. “Plus, it’s nice seeing so many other hybrids come through here every so often.”
Shoto lets out a noise in agreement. In an odd moment of serendipity, a family of hybrids accompanied by a single human emerge from where the path disappears into the treeline in the distance. The child swinging between the two adult hybrids couldn’t be any more than five years old, and the second they lay eyes on the great expanse of grass woven with patches of clovers and wildflowers before them, a delighted peal of laughter rings in the air.
Before you can think twice, your eyes are moving to scan the expressions of your companions in curiosity. From what you recall, an intact family unit isn’t very common for hybrids, though Nejire told you once that it is becoming increasingly the norm. Hybrids from the initial generations, those born in a sterile lab, are now creating families and small communities of their own as the movement for their rights strengthens and gains more traction over time. It makes you happy to see it in action, though a part of you worries that the sight might bring up memories for your companions that aren’t particularly pleasant.
Then again, you have no idea about their backgrounds, really.
Thankfully, the shift in their expressions isn’t sad or melancholy. Rather they appear contemplative, bordering on nostalgic. Curiosity lingers in an unspoken question on the tip of your tongue, but you don’t dare to voice it.
It’s Shoto that volunteers to fill the silence first.
“I wonder if that kid gets lonely,” he muses. “It doesn’t look like they have any siblings.”
You blink, something about the way he says that sparking a new curiosity. “… You had siblings?”
He shrugs, a small smile curling at the corners of his lips. He glances at you and then Izuku from the corner of his eye. “Well, maybe not in the typical sense. We were often created in batches, so we definitely weren’t alone.”
“You have company, but in all you don’t get to spend much time with the other hybrids. The adoption process can start young sometimes,” Izuku supplies, shaking his head to dislodge a leaf clinging to his forest-hued curls. “Shoto and I actually ‘grew up’ together, in a way.”
The confusion must be evident on your face, because the rabbit hybrid laughs and reaches out to pinch your cheek. You frown but can’t be bothered to lift your arm and bat him away, and so he remains the unspoken victor.
“I guess you could call it that.” Shoto snorts, reaching up with both arms to stretch. The movement lifts the edge of his shirt to reveal smooth honey-toned skin and you fight for your life to keep your eyes in a respectful location. “I think our labs ended up merging at some point and from then on we kind of got stuck together. Neither of us were ever officially adopted.”
That takes you by surprise, actually. Ignoring how visually stunning they are, both hybrids are pleasant and sweet, sincere in everything they do, and a pleasure to be around. You can safely say the addition of them into your life and routine has been a blessing. So when you take in his words, your brain can’t quite comprehend the idea of someone not wanting them.
A part of your feels bad for them – you know it isn’t the case for all hybrids, but for some of them the act of ‘adoption’ means a lot – but at the same time, you’re unsure whether you would have ever ended up meeting them if they had been adopted earlier in their lives.
It feels selfish, but… deep down, you’re a little glad that you were able to know them as a result of it.
Shoto lowers his arms and twists to face you a little more, eyes surveying your supine form. You have a feeling that he is looking for the best place to curl up and your suspicions are confirmed when he zeroes in on your abdomen and turns back around so he can recline with his head resting on the soft swell of your stomach. You don’t even bother trying not to blush. You’ll just blame the heat of the sun if you need to. Or even the exercise. Plenty of excuses.
“It’s good to see so many kids around,” Izuku hums, blowing some hair out of his face and allowing his eyes to flutter closed after. It’s a slight redirection of the current topic, but you don’t particularly mind. “There’s more than I thought there would be, considering the current ratio.”
This piques your interest further, tickling something familiar in the back of your mind you’d heard once upon a time. “The current ratio…?”
“Of male to female hybrids,” Shoto supplies helpfully in his soft, leisurely tone, turning his head and nuzzling into your abdomen just below your ribs. You have to physically hold down the responding shudder that wants to roll over your body. “It’s pretty disproportionate, currently. Something like one female hybrid for every two –- or is it three? -– male hybrids.” “Oh shit,” you mutter, the words leaving you before you can think to censor yourself. “Tough odds.”
Shoto snorts, and Izuku looks to be fighting a grin. Surprisingly, it is the hybrid currently taking up real estate on your stomach that continues.
“It might look like that,” Shoto hums, his head tilting just enough for his mismatched eyes to trail and lock onto your own. The slightest curl plays around the corner of his mouth. “But we’re pretty adaptive, you know. Most hybrids tend toward polyandry.”
Oh. Oh. Nejire never told you that.
Shoto’s eyes, clear and glimmering in the morning sunlight, track every minute movement and change in your face. His ears flick ever so slightly, no doubt catching the slight uptick in your heartbeat as well as the warmth gathering in your face.
You have to wet your lips in order for your question to greet the air. “Why, um-- is there a reason behind the ratio?”
Izuku hums a pleasant noise, like he’s been quizzed on something that he knows the answer to.
“Men – or in this case, male hybrids – are easier to clone and create than women. Something about having two X chromosomes makes it a little more complicated, if I remember correctly.” Izuku tilts his head, eyes glazing as he falls deeper into his thoughts. “That’s probably why we all ended up having the kind of instincts that we did. Being excessively territorial is detrimental to the population as a whole when one gender greatly outnumbers the other.”
“Plus, more chances for females to conceive when there are multiple--”
“RIGHT, yeah, there’s also that.” Izuku lets out a loud, embarrassed laugh, cutting the canine hybrid off before he can continue. For his benefit, you continue to ignore the heat making itself known on your face and fight to swallow your own amused chortle. You did think it had been a little too long since the last time Shoto said something outrageous with the most unbothered face. The rabbit hybrid continues, almost like he can’t help himself.
“Even so, the bond that a, um… mated pair share is super important. Hybrids have a tendency to bond deeply in general, but I suppose it is doubly so for males. Definitely more matriarchal in nature, hybrid communities.”
Bonds? Mated pairs? You feel kind of faint as your brain works to reconcile all the information you’ve received in the last five minutes. “Huh… I see.”
Izuku suddenly looks oddly restless, almost… nervous .Evidently taking a page out of Shoto’s book, he turns and dives to bury his face in your side, eliciting a ticklish yelp from you as he does so. He ends up pulling on a lock of Shoto’s hair that had fallen over your side by accident, and the hybrid lets loose an unimpressed, low rumble. Ignoring the noise, Izuku takes a few deep breaths against your side, digging his nose into your shirt.
Sincerely, you don’t think you’re going to be able to survive this. You consider sending a prayer heavenward.
As if things weren’t already embarrassing enough for you, your stomach chooses this exact moment to let out a forlorn rumble.
Shoto snorts softly, lifting off of you and rolling to a stand with such grace, you’re genuinely envious for a moment.
“Probably best we head back and get some food in our bellies.”
He doesn’t need to tell you twice.
---------
This is a losing battle.
Granted, it’s not like you’re really fighting it at all anymore (arguably didn’t even really fight it to begin with), but still. It feels like everything is somehow snowballing, in a way that you’re not particularly against despite your better judgement.
Somehow, your two housemates have gotten clingier. They stick to you like shadows, scenting you in an almost possessive manner whenever they get the chance and more than a few times you’ve caught them sniffing you for a whiff of your own scent when they think you’re too occupied to notice.
It’s doing a number on your already frayed self-control.
The brief but very informative conversation the three of you had in the park almost a week ago has helped alleviate some of the guilt you carried for being attracted to both of them at the same time, and also planted some ideas in your head that you haven’t been able to pry out despite your best efforts.
Currently, your dilemma comes from the fact that not only are you attracted to them both, but you like them both.
It’s still budding, not at a catastrophic level as of yet, and technically speaking you would be able to be with them physically without spiralling when they eventually leave. Probably. Actually, you’re torn between not wanting to do anything to save yourself the pain in the long run, and doing something so that you can treasure and make the most of the time you currently have together.
You’d probably regret it if they ended up leaving without you addressing whatever this is between you. However, you also know yourself enough to know you’re too sappy to be able to part with them seamlessly if you did act on it.
This is torture. You almost wish they’d just make the decision for you.
Apart from those differences, the routine the three of you remains mostly unchanged. Unfortunately, that leaves plenty of opportunity for you to overthink and dwell as you complete your bedtime routine. You almost reach for a cheeky drink just so you might put an end to the thoughts and go to bed in peace. Somehow, you manage to imitate meditation enough that you eventually drift off without the need for a nightcap.
Something rouses you from sleep earlier than anticipated, though. The soft creak of your door has you blinking awake, eyes less bleary than anticipated.
It’s pitch black at first, but your eyes quickly adjust enough to see as two figures slink into the room and over to your bed. You feel the mattress dip with their weight as they climb atop, a soft rumble reaching your ears that you know to be coming from a certain canine hybrid.
“What is it?” you ask, wiping your eyes in an attempt to clear any remaining sleep. It’s harder to focus on their forms than you expect. “Is everything okay?”
“Yona.”
It’s a throaty whine that answers your question, timbre no doubt belonging to Izuku. The slimmer of the two slips closer, a hand coming to grasp the one you’d reached out without realising. Your heart stutters in your chest, breath catching in your throat. The smell of pine and jasmine twine together and brush your senses. Of course you’ve smelt whatever cologne your two hybrid roommates wear before, but never so strongly. It’s making butterflies come to life in the pit of your belly.
“What is it?” you ask again, sitting up a little more. Izuku brings your hand to his cheek, nuzzling into your palm. Your fingertips brush his fluffy curls and you find yourself winding them into the locks without a second thought.
While Izuku seems to be sitting back on his haunches for the moment, Shoto has no qualms about approaching further, his large hand brushing against the skin of your shoulder, revealed by sheets that fell when you rose earlier, before trailing down your arm and then back up. His palm settles against your neck, scorchingly hot, and the length of his fingers wrap around your nape. Your heart kicks up again, an excited, frantic patter.
Izuku’s lips press against your palm, searing affection into your flesh. You can hardly keep track of what is happening, attention torn from one to the other in rapid succession.
A soft whine escapes from Shoto this time, and he leans forward to nuzzle his face into your neck, dragging his nose along the line of your jaw. It tickles, and sends a shiver down the length of your spine.
“Nothing’s wrong,” he murmurs, mouth hot against your neck as his lips shape the words. You feel his ears flick and catch against your hair. You want to lift a hand and touch him, but for some reason your body refuses to obey. “Nothing wrong, just need you.”
You feel like your heart has stopped completely in your chest, a breathless moment passing before it returns to its chaotic gallop. You barely have the presence of mind to force out, “What…?”
The hybrid’s lips begin to press in a heated trail down your neck and across your collarbone, ignoring your murmur completely. His free arm slips around your side and behind you, pulling you close quick enough that a soft noise of surprise escapes you. Heat is beginning to set your veins alight, blood turning to magma. Your thighs clench as Shoto’s teeth scrape against your clavicle before he sucks the flesh into his mouth.
Oh my god.
Having moved you closer to the centre of the bed with his manoeuvre, there is now room for Izuku to sidle up against your other side, and he happily takes the opportunity. Your hand is dropped for only a moment before he picks it up again from his new angle, returning it to where it was. He then leans forward, burying his nose into your hair and letting out a contented groan – something he’d done earlier in the day when the three of you had been cuddling on the couch. It had made butterflies burst into your stomach then, but now it makes your body thrum in anticipation.
“You smell so good, Yona, you’re so lovely,” Izuku murmurs, the low cadence of his voice eliciting another shiver across your shoulders. “We want you, need you… don’t you want us too?”
The words leap from your throat, unbidden. “Of course I do.”
A pleased, throaty groan slips from Shoto as his mouth moves lower, towards the neckline of the singlet you’d worn to bed. You weren’t sure what to expect, but it still takes you by surprise when he drags his lips over the material, following the swell of your breast until he comes across your peak, straining against the material. He takes it into the wet heat of his mouth, and you can’t help but gasp at the sensations that reach you through the damp material of your shirt. Arousal shoots straight to your core.
Again, you will your hand to lift and tangle in his hair, but the limb remains by your side. You barely have time to feel the resulting confusion and frustration before Izuku’s free hand is trailing along your side, nails dragging along the skin of your hips and tracing the line of your waistband. The ache beginning to make itself known between your legs is suddenly all you can think about, and this time when you will your hips to shift, rocking up against his hand, they listen.
Izuku inhales softly, sounding pleased at your reaction. You feel like you’re going a little bit insane.
“Yeah? You want us? Want us to touch you, like this?”
Words catch in your throat and so you settle for an emphatic nod, eager for the touching to continue – especially if it meant Shoto was going to keep doing those things with his mouth. As though summoned by the thought, he clamps his teeth around your nipple in a light bite, sending shocks of pleasure over your skin. A moan tumbles from your throat, thighs squeezing in a sad attempt at friction.
You need more. You need more, but your stupid limbs won’t listen to you, and Izuku’s hand is going everywhere but where you need and want it most.
“Izuku,” you whine, the sound bordering on pathetic. You can hardly think amongst the drowsy haze of pleasure fogging your mind. “Please…”
Please touch me, you want to say. Your fingers twitch with the urge to grasp his hand and move it to your core, but they remain woefully unresponsive. Instead of your desired destination, his hand lifts to pinch and tug your neglected nipple softly. He seems to revel in the noises the actions elicit.
Shoto releases your abused nipple with a soft noise, leaning up to nip and lick under your ear. The sweet scent of jasmine threatens to swallow you whole.
“Tell us what you want, lovely,” he murmurs, voice thick and catching in his throat. His teeth scrape your neck and you tilt your head back, wrenching your eyes closed as Izuku times it with a firm pinch.
A rush of different desires overtake you at once, so many you can hardly choose only one to voice. You strain to lift your arm and cup his cheek, willing it desperately to move. “I-”
Your arm jerks, breaking free of its invisible bonds, and your eyes snap open. The room is quiet, save for your panting breaths, and you are entirely under the covers. A cursory glance around the room once your eyes adjust reveals you are, in fact, alone. Your bedroom door is closed, just as you’d left it before going to bed.
It takes a moment for you to be awake enough that realisation comes crashing through you. You just had a wet dream about your housemates.
…. You’re so fucked.
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etherealily · 6 months ago
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🄱🄻🄴🅂🅂🄴🄳​ // ​🇳​​🇦​​🇹​​🇪​ ​🇯​​🇦​​🇨​​🇴​​🇧​​🇸​.
Nate Jacobs + Fem!reader. Warnings : Dark. SFW, but discretion advised. 🍃.
Part 1 : Whiplash
Part 2 : 9 Lives
Part 4 : Shards
Part 5 : Eighteen
Part 6 : Sin
You do NOT have permission to repost and/or translate any of my fics.
Tiny glimpse into his mind because why not?
Desc. : "His hand, so calloused from his pistol softly traces hearts on my face."
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═════════════════════ ⋆ 🚬 ⋆ ══════════════════
It's not like Nate even knew you.
You just so happened to be the secret to his success, and maybe, perhaps his new obsession.
No biggie.
I mean, whole of the first week of spring break, he didn't text you, you didn't text him, and it was all great and normal.
Pissed him off to no end, because how the hell did you recover so quickly from having a fucking gun in your throat? But, hey, whatever. Maybe you were just that goddamn weird.
The second - and last - week of spring break was when shit got intense.
Because he thought about you.
He realized he hadn't even fucking seen you around town the entirety of it, and that might have freaked him out, just a little.
He worried, you see? Yes, only about his games, and his college apps, but now, all of them had been tied to you, with a pretty little bow around them.
So obviously, now he worried about you.
So, obviously, he needed to find out just where the hell your lucky ass had gone.
He narrowed it down to two options. Both perfectly reasonable, of course.
One, you just had tons of work and stayed indoors.
Two, you had been kidnapped and murdered by the opposing teams because they'd found out about your miracle-working.
See? Perfectly reasonable.
���════════════════════ ⋆ 🚬 ⋆ ══════════════════
It was a happy surprise to learn that you were basically closer to his house than you'd ever been before, after you'd taken up a job at the local supermarket.
Well, happy for him.
For you, it was more of a you-were-seriously-contemplating-suicide surprise.
"You listen to Elvis Presley?", he asked, dropping his purchase down on the counter. Your eyes never moved to it, and stayed on his.
That was one thing he noticed about you.
You were always observing, as if he were a rabid animal that would strike at any moment. As if he would reveal his sinister intentions to you within enough time for you to react.
"What?"
He nodded at the speakers on the wall around the establishment. "Those connected to your Spotify?"
You didn't want to answer unless you knew whether he was about to compliment or mock you.
"Sir, I think you should leave."
God fucking damn it. Why had he never thought about the fact that you wouldn't - (and couldn't)- call him a motherfucker at your workplace? His joy knew no bounds.
"That's so hot. Say it again."
You'd 100% expected that. It was clear on your face.
"There's other people behind you with more items to check out."
He swiveled his head around for a moment.
Old lady. Sometimes he wished he wasn't raised right.
He sighed, nodding. "I'm next up, though.", he warned sternly, pointing at you as he gestured for her to pass him by.
The old lady patted him on the shoulder and smiled, moving ahead with her purchase of an unholy amount of bread and cheese.
And what's worse?
She had coupons.
Way too many for Nate to stand smiling like a good boy behind her as she dug into her purse and fished out probably decades worth of them.
"Yes, dear, so just run all these."
"Uh, ma'am, I wish I could, but most of these are expired."
Thank god.
"Oh, well, you said most. Let's just sort through them and find the ones that aren't expired."
Would it be homicide to kill her? She didn't really have too long to live, anyway. He couldn't say he hadn't thought about it.
"Uh, okay, yeah, sure."
"This'll just take a minute, sweetie.", she whispered to Nate, pinching his cheek as if that would make time go by faster.
"How about I pay for you, ma'am? If that's alright?"
If he'd been allowed access to your mind, you'd never live it down, because you almost thanked him right then and there.
"Oh, there's no need for that, dear, I can-"
"No, please, I insist. It would be my pleasure."
"What a sweet boy."
Both her and Nate decided to ignore the derisive snort that came out of you as you swiped his card.
"Here you go, ma'am.", you smiled, placing the copious amounts of cheese into the bag, then stuffing the bread in, too. "Anything else?"
"Oh, no, that's it for me. God bless you, dear. Both of you."
Watching her walk out, he began to genuinely wonder if this absurd purchase was all part of some scheme some criminal had put up to steal without your knowledge.
"You hear that? We're blessed, you and me."
"Do you actually have anything to buy?"
"Of course I do. I'm not a creepy stalker.", he hissed, slamming his palm down in front of you. Slowly, he lifted it to reveal a stack of eleven condoms.
Oh, yeah, you were blessed with this fuckass' presence.
You sucked your teeth as your gaze traipsed from the condoms up to his eyes. One of them winked.
"Is that all?"
"Oh, come on, you're not even curious why I have them?"
"Probably for the dozens of bitches you're getting.", you scoffed, ringing it up. "$15.99."
"For eleven individual condoms?!"
You shrugged. "Inflation."
"Oh, they better inflate for the amount of money I'm spending."
He rolled his eyes, mumbling to himself as he pulled out the money from his wallet, instead of his card. "Fucking old lady with her bread and cheese."
"You maxed your card?"
"Yeah. Why do people buy so much shit they're barely ever going to use?"
"Like you with your condoms?"
Ah. Nate could've absolutely lost his shit laughing right there- you did care.
"I'm going to use it all. Trust me."
How many times was he going to use the phrase 'trust me' on you until he realized the meaning had eroded away into nothingness between you two? Probably a dozen more.
"Sure. Thanks for shopping with us. Have a great day."
He pouted, stuffing the packets into his pocket as he raised a brow. "You don't sound like you mean it."
"Nate-"
"And why are you even working here, anyway? Oh, shit, is it 'cause I cost you your internship with your perv boss?"
If he felt bad, the grin on his face wasn't really screaming guilt.
"No, fuckass, this is my friend's store, he just wanted someone to help him out for a couple hours."
"Whoa, wait, what happened to Sir? I liked that better."
That was a lie. He fucking loved it.
"Please, Nate. Stop."
"One condition."
There it was. It no longer seemed like he saw you as anything more than a boredom buster. Sudoku, or a crossword, basically. That was you to him.
"Answer one question, truthfully, and I'll leave this... otherwise empty store right after."
"I'm listening."
God, that's all he fucking wanted to hear, and it was oddly exciting. He could literally say anything, and you wouldn't block him out.
"What would you do if I told you that I have a body in my car right now?"
"What?"
"A body. A dead body. It's in my trunk. Right now. What would you say? What's your next move?"
It's like he expected you not to notice the fact that he was tracing shapes on your arm as he spoke.
"Cops."
At this point, even if he wasn't bluffing, you'd still have reacted so nonchalantly. Because it was all in all tiring to continue to play whatever twisted game he was playing.
"They're not an option. It's either silence or help me. Would you help me hide it?"
"Nate, did you kill someone?"
"No."
"Then why even ask?!"
"It's a hypothetical."
"No, probably not."
He tsked, looking away for a moment. "Wrong answer."
"Well, it's my answer."
He brought his fingers up to your face, and your slight flinch meant absolutely nothing to him. Imaginary hearts now plagued your skin. "Change it."
"My answer? No."
"Please."
"Nate, did you kill someone?", you asked once more, praying for an actual answer this time, be it in the negative or the positive.
He smirked.
"Thanks for the condoms.", he whispered, grinning as he gave your cheek a light pat - that was dangerously bordering on a slap.
Would your trunk be big enough to fit his body? You thought about it the rest of the day.
═════════════════════ ⋆ 🚬 ⋆ ══════════════════
His fingers rapped on his dashboard as he watched his phone, set down on speaker on the dashboard, too. Pick up, pick up, pick up.
"Hello?"
Yes. He'd never been this happy to hear someone's voice, and it kinda freaked him out. Okay, whatever. Not important.
"Y/N."
"Who is this?"
"The guy you broke all the rules with before spring break? Made out with on the bleachers?"
"You need to be more specific."
"You better be kidding."
"Of course I am." He had never felt more relieved to hear your stupid ass laugh. "What do you want? I'm not helping you hide a body."
He debated just asking you where you'd been all this time, why you hadn't shown up to a single party or hangout, but he decided he'd just outright ask the real question he needed answered.
"Which one's your window?"
A pause. "What?"
"The one with red or yellow curtains?"
"Nate."
"Red or yellow, babe?"
"Red." Good. You'd gotten so used to him that you didn't waste time pointing out the obvious by asking 'are you outside my house?!'.
"You sure it's not yellow?"
"That's my parents' room."
"Yellow looks more tempting.", he teased, as he shut the car door.
"I'm not messing around."
"Neither am I. Yellow it is."
"Nate!"
This was far too precious to him. You were actually worried. How cute.
The fact that he had to climb up wasn't really making him jump in joy, but he figured you'd enjoy that little touch of vintage chivalry.
Like fucking Rapunzel.
He tapped on your window once.
No answer. Don't fucking play around right now.
He knocked once more.
He was met with your extremely delightful glare as you slid your window up, watching him closely.
"Hey."
"Dude, you-"
"Shh, shh, shh. Let me in.", he mumbled, crouching to cram himself through, his hand still resting on the top of the pane.
"You're insane."
Immediately grabbing your face after he steadied himself, he hissed through gritted teeth, "Where the hell have you been?"
"What?"
"I didn't see you at all before today!"
"Yeah, we got a lot of work to do over spring break."
"This is why you don't take psychology, because you get stupid amounts of homework even during the holidays.", he muttered, as if he'd warned you about this eons ago.
"What do you want?"
"Party. You. Me. Now. Get dressed."
He almost punched you when you started laughing.
"You actually do have a sense of humour, Nate, good for you."
"I'm not kidding. Come on."
"No way in hell."
"You know what? No need to get dressed. You look great. Just come on. Live a little."
"You've already taken me to 'live a little' before, and I ended up shitfaced with a gun in my throat at school at 12:30 am."
Good. So you hadn't gotten over that. He didn't care if he was being sadistic - he was glad.
He sighed, flopping down onto your bed and ignoring the second glare to come from you that night. "This is so typically a teenage girl's bedroom."
He had no clue what he was saying, at this point. But he knew he was itching for a reaction, a reason for you to hit him again, so he could grab you and shut you up. He craved the conflict.
"Surprising, considering that's what I am."
"I mean, the band posters? Really?", he huffed, pointing around at your room as if he was giving you a tour of it.
"Have you even listened to Queen? Presley? Any of the oldies?"
The match was found. Time to light it.
"So the shitty music in the store was connected to your playlist.", he chuckled, shaking his head. "No wonder that old lady was so nice to you. She thought you were one of her Bingo buddies."
It was just a question of how long you could stand him sitting on your bed, disrespecting your music taste.
"If you're only here to invite me to a party, I'm sorry, I'm not coming."
"How would your family like me hanging out here?", he mused, tilting his head. You know, the one you'd probably love to bash into the pavement given a chance? That head.
You were so fucking hot when you were pissed, it was unbelievable to him. He could sense it, the anger.
The smell of your rage made him want to riot.
"You can't keep blackmailing me into doing what you want."
"Alright, fine."
Your uncomfortable frown made him snicker. "What's that look?"
"This is usually the part where you self-harm and tell me I'm being a bitch for not bending to your will."
"Tonight's different."
"Why?"
Because I'm going to unwrap every fucking secret of yours.
He shrugged, the corners of his lips curling downwards. "I don't want to."
"So, you'll leave?"
"I didn't say that.", he trailed off, watching you sit down on the chair across from your bed. "Let's just chill."
"Nate, when have you and I ever chilled?"
He licked his lips, narrowing his eyes at you, before giving you a sly smirk. His fingers emerged from his pocket as he pulled out a packet of pre-rolleds. "Right now."
"You're kidding."
"C'mon. Don't be a pussy."
"They'll smell it."
He lolled his head over to the door. "No, they won't. You're two floors up." He shifted to one side, patting the space next to him. "Come on, Y/N, don't end your badass streak so quickly."
His eyes followed you as you sat down gingerly, rubbing your forehead like he was causing you a genuine migraine. That's funny, she hasn't even seen me high, yet, (and she won't).
"Why do I let you do this?"
"Million dollar question if I ever heard one.", he scoffed, fumbling around his person for a lighter. He found it, placing the cigarette between his lips and lighting it, causing his next catastrophic words to come out a mumble. "But I'm glad you do."
He continued to watch your eyes change from frustration to mild fascination, to hesitation all in one second, as he puffed out through his teeth. "Fuck.", he groaned, handing it to you.
"I don't know about this."
"You think they'd like me?", he mused, looking at the door, and then back at you. "I'm known to make a good impression with parents."
"The no-blackmail thing didn't last long.", you huffed, taking it from him. Nate almost made out with you right then and there, the way your lips wrapped around it as if they were made only for him.
"Didn't want to break tradition.", he snorted as you coughed and sputtered, handing it back to him quickly.
"Gross."
═════════════════════ ⋆ 🚬 ⋆ ══════════════════
The last thing he'd expected from that evening was actually staying. He'd thought he'd get you stoned, you'd pass out, and he'd leave.
But here you were.
Next to him.
Freaking him the hell out.
He looked down at his watch. 2 AM. Fuck.
"I gotta go."
"You've been saying that for the past three hours."
Shut up. "Eh, well, it's not like my parents are worried."
"Why not?"
"They know I can handle myself."
"Right, because I'm such a threat."
"God, no. They'd love you." He shook his head subtly, grinning as you nudged his face playfully with your foot from across the bed. "You should come over, sometime."
"I'm not coming over, Nate."
The weed made sure you didn't push him away when he gently grabbed your leg. "Why not?"
"Because we're not friends. There's no reason for me to meet your parents."
"I just think it's right that you get to judge my room, too.", he muttered, lips on your ankle like it was his life support. "You know, justice or whatever."
"It's probably all monocoloured, plain, boring crap."
"Only one way to find out.", he teased.
He despised the silence that followed. High-you wasn't exactly chatty, it seemed.
"Tell me something about you."
"Like what?"
He shrugged. "Anything."
"This is my first time smoking weed."
"Not exactly a secret, sweetheart."
"You didn't ask for a secret."
"Now I am. Tell me a secret."
"I hate football."
You were more resilient than he thought, seeing as you'd smoked three cigarettes already, and the most you'd given him was your sports preferences.
But he'd take what he got.
"Because of me?"
"No, just generally."
"But you came to games.", he countered.
"Because of Maddy."
"You guys are close?"
You nodded, stirring slightly as you looked out your window. "Mhm."
"So she told you." Shit.
You tilted your head, sitting up as he gripped your calf, moving closer and placing kisses on your knee, too. "About?"
Well, if you didn't already know, no need to tell you.
"To come to the games."
"Oh. Yeah."
Nice save, Jacobs.
"I guess now I owe you a secret, huh?"
"I guess you do."
"You're not gonna like it.", he murmured, lazily tracing even more shapes on your knee, while his other hand had trailed up to your arm. "But I love your lips."
He smiled when the corners of your eyes crinkled up and you burst into a fit of giggles. "What?"
"It's true. They're perfect."
"God, I love weed."
You would, seeing as you smoked more of it than he did. Enough to kind of make him feel slightly guilty.
"It's not just the weed saying this.", he continued, shaking his head. "I'd fight wars for those lips. For you."
He shouldn't have liked the fading of your laugh so much, the slight trepidation brewing on your face, either, but for some reason, he did. "Nate, I'm not... I don't wanna-"
"Be fought for? Why not?"
He took the silence as a cue to brush his finger against your cupid's bow. "You don't think you deserve it?"
He watched your lips move under his finger as you shook your head, side to side. "Well, I do. And, guess what?"
"What?"
"I got another question for you."
Your frown was your response.
"Why didn't you push me away when I kissed you that night on the bleachers?" He knew the answer. Of course he did.
"I was drunk."
"Yeah, see, you weren't that drunk.", he taunted. But no, you were. He'd given you basically one and a half bottles. Just like tonight, taking barely ten puffs while you took thrice as much. You just hadn't noticed.
"I don't know, then."
"I just think that if you didn't push me away, it can't have been the terrible experience you made it out to be, in the car."
"What do you want to hear, Nate?"
"That you want to do it again. 'Cause you do. Don't you?"
"I don't."
"Yes, you do. If you could see your own eyes right now, you'd agree."
"Really?"
"Mhm."
He waited for a reaction, a scoff, an eye roll, anything, but you just looked back at him, and then down at the hand he was holding. Oh, it was the weed.
So he took matters into his own hands. No. He took you into his own hands, tracing the gap between your lips with his tongue before he pushed it in.
Your lips were war-worthy, just like before. But this time, something was different. This time, you kissed back.
There we go.
His hands ran over your back as though he were splaying a huge deck of cards across a table, and he came to the grave realization that maybe, just maybe, he was no longer doing this just for a reaction.
"Come here.", he murmured, making up for his lack of oxygen by trying to steal yours as he pulled you onto him. How Shane Crestin hadn't killed himself over the fact that he'd fumbled this bag, he'd never know. Loser.
His hands slipped under your shirt. Wrong move, seeing as you pulled away. "No."
Wasn't weed supposed to last longer?
"What?"
"I'm not... no."
"You seemed into it, like a moment ago. Face it : you want this. No amount of bullshit self-respect or whatever you wanna call it, is going to change that.", he responded, coolly, as he took a drag from the blunt, his lips immediately feeling the lack of yours.
"You're just trying to get back at Maddy."
God, he wished that were true. Would make much more sense.
He sighed, his forehead on yours. "I'm not, but you're not going to believe me.", he mumbled, watching you get off him and move back to the other side of the bed.
Oceans away. Too fucking far.
"I'm sorry." There was something he hadn't said in a while. "For, like, everything."
"Why am I so fucking important to you? If I just showed up to every game for you, would you leave me the fuck alone? No, you wouldn't, because you sought me out during spring break! Am I just an easy target?"
No. "I don't... I don't fucking know, okay? You just are."
"Is it 'cause you hate me?", you questioned, so quietly that he had to debate whether to get on his knees and beg for forgiveness or actually kill himself in guilt for eliciting it.
"What?"
"Do you hate me?"
"For what?" He had no fucking clue what this could be about. Every single thing he'd done so far indicated the opposite. But he didn't want to let himself go there.
"Being your good luck charm."
Oh. He had to think about that one. "No. It would be weird if it was someone else."
"I just mean... it must be frustrating, when you need someone, and they might not always be there."
"But you will, right? Be there?"
"You scare me, Nate."
He scoffed, slightly, rolling his eyes. "You're unbelievable. Why? Gimme one reason - a real one - why you're scared of me."
"You're violent."
Okay, he was hoping you'd give an invalid one.
"I like beating people up.", he shrugged. "But never for no reason."
"Not exactly a secret, sweetheart. And anyway, it's not only the beating up that you like."
"Hm?"
"You like getting beat up, too."
Remind him never to give you weed again.
"Why would I-"
"On some level, you feel like you deserve it.", you replied, shrugging as you took a long puff of the miracle weed that apparently made you unreasonably perceptive.
Okay, confirmed, not even the word weed would be mentioned around you anymore.
"You think I deserve it?"
"Mostly, yeah. But not... all the time."
"How do you know so much?", he asked, watching your fingers get lost in your hair. He couldn't afford eye contact.
"Psychology."
"See? You shouldn't have taken it. It's creepy."
You sighed, smiling as you looked up at the ceiling. "Sorry."
He did not expect you to back down, that was for sure.
"It's fine. Never giving you weed again, though."
═════════════════════ ⋆ 🚬 ⋆ ══════════════════
It actually took until the very last day of spring break for him to catch up with you again. Not like he was pissed that you pushed him away, or anything. Or that he was confused about the entire interaction in the bedroom of someone who, until three weeks ago, he wouldn't have been caught dead talking to. He was just busy. Sure. Let's go with that.
"Hey."
"Not now, Nate."
"What is your problem?" Wait, no. That kinda talk was why you were pissed at him. "Look, we should start over."
God, he sounded like a cunt. This was definitely something that pathetic Shane Crestin would say. Ew.
"Okay. Can you start by going over there?", you asked, restocking the shelves with whatever bullshit condiment you had to.
"I'm an ass. I'm a jerk, I'm- I'm a dick."
You were silent for a moment, before you added: "A small one, too."
He sighed, beaming with relief. "A small one, too.", he agreed, nodding. "I'm just here to ask you over to dinner. My house. I'll even cook."
Dude, if you didn't agree, he'd actually fucking kill you.
"No way you cook."
"Only one way to find out."
He saw the falling apart. The gradual breaking down. The glacier was melting. "I'll listen to Queen or whatever, with you."
The quiet was taunting him, but you came to his rescue. "No steak."
"No steak."
Yes. Fucking yes.
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qqueenofhades · 9 months ago
Note
it's concerning what people are saying and thinking is activism. I've unfollowed someone who unironically reblogged something that said death to israel. how is that going to help? if anything that's just making a more hostile environment. support palestine but maybe cool it about what you say about israel considering why it exists in the first place
There are a few reasons for this, and the first is that the western left is so absolutely goddamn terrible about recognizing its increased and violent radicalization. I can't tell you how many posts I've seen to the effect of "the far right wants to kill everybody but the far left just wants healthcare for everyone uwu." First, by their own extremely warped and constantly biased perception, that would actually make the mainstream Democratic Party "far left." The party might disagree about how exactly the actual mechanism for better/more equitable healthcare should be implemented (etc. etc. if you oppose instant Medicare for All with no other transition period or hybrid options, YOU ARE EXACTLY THE SAME AS A FASCIST!), but that's now a central and uncontroversial plank of official Democratic party policy. But since as we know, BOTH SIDES ARE THE SAME!!!, clearly that can't be what the self-defined "far left" actually wants. Witness how we've had several days of intense and valedictory social media approval and worship of a mentally ill person's violent and public suicide, because it was done for the "right reasons." This person should have been given help and support, yes, and we never know what's going on in anyone's head. But if I was someone also contemplating suicide, this whole "it's the right thing to do and you should just burn yourself to death and announce it's for the Right Cause and you will have legions of adoring admirers" would be hella hard to resist. This is going to directly cost more lives.
We point out all the time that the far right has become a fascistic death cult of authoritarian personality, but the online far left is now absolutely just as willing to make "you should die and/or kill yourself and others for Ideology" a central part of their platform. We've had endless rhetoric about how the violent Glorious Revolution is the only answer and society is irretrievably broken. This is casual, constant, inescapable radicalization, and it's presented as the only way to "do" leftism. So of course the rhetoric gets increasingly insane and genocidal (while insisting that all they want is to "stop the genocide"), and it's more and more normalized. We've had people reblogging posts that are almost entirely lies, because they "want to highlight" one sentence or half-truth they agree with (and apparently decided the best way to do this was to uncritically amplify the misinformation, rather than making their own post and trying to push back on it). We've had people admitting they're afraid to lose friends or be attacked on social media because the Groupthink is so pervasive and violently radicalized. This is not normal and this needs to fucking stop.
Secondly, and this is inescapable especially in regard to this particular conflict, the western left is absolutely steeped in antisemitism through and through, and it has no desire either to examine that or even think it should. It has become absolutely mired in the "antisemitism is a Good and Necessary and Correct belief to have and it's not actually a prejudice, it contributes to social justice because all Israelis and/or all Jews are evil settler colonialists constantly genociding innocent Hamas and/or Palestinians." This is why, as I keep saying, it's not that hard to support Palestinian self-determination, statehood, dignity, freedom, and a stop to the indiscriminate slaughter of Gaza, while not actually thinking that the way to do this is just to be wildly antisemitic at all times and calling for the genocide of Israel to be substituted for the genocide of Gaza. That does not actually reduce the net amount of genocide in this world!!! I thought you wanted to stop it, not turn it loose on another group of people who "deserve it more!" JESUS CHRIST!!!
On that note, even if you don't agree with every single premise or point it makes, a lot of people on this website (and on Twitter, but yeah, uh, good luck with that) need to read the following article in order to understand, as I keep saying, how deeply virulent antisemitism has become an unquestioned tenet of virtuous faith among the western left. Content warnings for some very graphic depictions/discussions of violence, including sexual violence, but that's not an excuse. If you've found yourself posting or agreeing with any version of the "Jews/Zionists/Israelis are all collectively responsible for this while evilly torturing innocent non-Jews" thesis statement, READ IT. Y'know, read it anyway. Try to get the first and most basic grip on the fraught and violent history of antisemitism, which is quite literally the oldest prejudice in the world, and how that interacts with and negatively informs the way in which supposedly well-intentioned western leftists are reacting to the current situation. As I said in an earlier post, I don't care if your "good intentions" (the road to hell is paved with, etc. etc.) are solely about stopping the current slaughter directed against Palestinians. That does not excuse you from the consequences of the lies you spread and the genocidal violence that you advocate as a "better" or "more correct" kind of genocidal violence then that already taking place. So. Yeah.
If you run into a paywall, you can remove it by disabling JavaScript on the page (this can be done with most ad-blockers), or someone has also helpfully provided the full text as a pdf in this link. Read it.
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lillotte17 · 20 days ago
Text
The Music Room
SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS‼- Do Not Read unless you have completed the Dread Wolf's Regrets quest!!!!
AN: I have not finished the game, so I don't know if this will actually be part of my canon yet, but the world is currently awful and I...needed to be making something. But as I said: I have NOT finished the game yet, so if you leave a comment (pls and thank) do NOT write anything with spoilers in it!!!
Okay, on with the show!
~
Rill finds Inquisitor Lavellan sitting at the harpsichord in the music room. All of the other rooms at the Lighthouse had seemed barren when they had first started using it as their base, and even this one had apparently been used as some sort of storage space -there was an alarming amount of cheese for some reason- but the quiet here feels different in a way that is hard to quantify. Peaceful, as opposed to desolate. The light pouring through the windows is always bright in here. Always warm. The murals on the walls were still vivid when they came. Colorful and new. The most prominent one bears the symbol of the Inquisition flanked by howling wolves.
The woman contemplating it does not look like the fearsome hero who closed a hole in the sky and stopped the southern half of the world from falling into chaos, though. She looks small. And tired. And sad.
Rill clears her throat, feeling awkward.
“So. Not trying to complain or anything, but when you asked to come here, you did say that you could help by giving us insight into Solas’ history and his way of thinking and… Well. You were pretty quiet in there while we watched those memories.”
“I know,” Aili sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I’m sorry. I’m just… I knew some of it. Bits of things he told me himself. Things I figured out…afterwards. And I knew there would be more. More I didn’t know. He’s thousands of years old, so I knew that the story of his life would be more than what he had told me, but…”
“It’s a lot.” Rill hums in agreement.
“Bit of an understatement,” Aili snorts. Her gaze drifts down, and she runs her fingers over the instrument in front of her. “…I didn’t even know he played.”
“So, tell me what you do know,” Rill says, casually plopping down onto a nearby crate, “It’s probably more helpful than you think.”
“I know… I know that he hates tea.”
“Right. Noted. Probably shouldn’t offer him any of Lucanis’ coffee either, then.” Rill grins, folding her arms across her chest.
“Probably not,” Aili agrees, returning the smile faintly. “He has a sweet tooth, though. He loves books. Loves learning. And teaching, too. He was always happy to share stories about places he had been, or spirits he had talked to. He paints beautifully. And he sketches, too. He doesn’t laugh very often, but when he does, it’s…”
She trails off, her face creased with grief and faint traces of longing.
“I’m sorry.”  She says again.
Rill shakes her head at the apology but gives her a curious look afterwards.
“You said that Solas was important to you; I’m guessing you didn’t mean that you were just really good friends?”
Aili shrugs.
“I thought that we were…something.” She glances around the room again, eyes landing on the mural of the slain dragon and the mourning wolf above it. “Now I’m not sure if even that was true.”
“Is that something he would lie about?” Rill wonders, her eyebrows ticking upwards, “Because that would be some valuable insight. He doesn’t strike me as the sort to use seduction as a manipulation tactic, but he seems comfortable twisting the truth about everything else, so…”
Aili sits for a moment in silence, frowning in consideration before finally shaking her he in the negative.
“It’s… No.” She fumbles briefly. “I know that given…given everything we’ve seen, it might be hard to believe, but… He has a kind heart. Truly. He wants to do the right thing. He believes in justice, and he wants things to be fair. He wants to help people when he sees them suffering. And he blames himself when he can’t. He just…comes to the wrong conclusions, sometimes, and he struggles to ask for help when he needs it. He… There would be no reason to -no point- in lying about his feelings for me. I was already his friend, and I took his advice seriously. He had my ear and my protection. He wouldn’t get anything out of it unless his intention was to be needlessly cruel, and…he’s not like that. He isn’t.”
“Then why were you doubting that you had something?”
“It’s…complicated.” Aili sighs. “It’s about time, I think. Or at least, part of it is. He feels things deeply. Passionately. Even if you can’t tell which words he’s telling you are true, you can always tell when something matters to him. And this place… Mythal is everywhere. In every mural. In every room. Statues. Paintings. Symbols. Everything is about her. For her. Even now. Even after taking Flemeth’s power and essentially killing her himself. His love for her, whatever shape or form it might have had, has colored every aspect of his life since the beginning of the world. And compared to that…”
She taps a single key on the harpsichord, letting out a high clear note.
“Mythal is the All-Mother. The Protecter. The bright and beguiling moon. And I…I am barely a candle flame.”
“You’re the Inquisitor. The Savior of the South. People still call you the ‘Herald of Andraste.’ You disbanded the Inquisition, and still managed to bring enough people together to hold back the darkspawn hordes while I fight the gods up here in the North. I think you might be selling yourself a bit short.” Rill says with a curl of her lips, trying to be kind.
“There will always be heroes, just as there will always be despots. I’m hardly unique in that respect.” Aili replies, striking another key. “A puny mortal striking back at false gods probably reminded him of his own past. His own struggles. Maybe that was it. Maybe there’s even something about me that made him think of Mythal. I don’t know. I don’t know what he saw in me. Or thought he saw. But look around. There are a few Inquisition symbols in this room, but beyond that… There is no trace of me in this place. Nothing he held onto. Nothing he felt was worth keeping.” 
Rill frowns. Fidgeting with her hands. Itching to pull out a blade to play with, but uncertain if the move would been seen as a threat.
“Sorry.” She offers after a few moments of silence. “I try not to talk to him very often, for obvious reasons. It’s still a bit creepy, if I’m being honest. Even if I did, though, I don’t think his romantic life would be something he’d be keen to tell me about.”
“It’s not your fault,” Aili assures her with a smile that does not reach her eyes, “He wasn’t keen to tell me either.”
“The Fade’s a funny place, though,” Rill says, gesturing at their surroundings, “I’m not always sure which bits of the things we’ve found here are from Solas, and which things we brought along ourselves. Lucanis found a book he used to read as a kid. Harding says she can smell her mom’s cooking sometimes. Neve said she can hear the sea when she wakes up in the mornings. Things like that, you know?”
The Inquisitor nods.
“Not surprising, given the nature of this place and the person who built it.” Aili says. “This was a refuge. For spirits and slaves fleeing tyranny. And for Solas himself, too. It wants to be welcoming. It wants you to feel safe.”
“It was different when we got here, though.” Rill tells her. “Bit empty. Bit sad. Lonely, almost.”
“Sounds like Solas,” Aili sighs, something close to exasperated fondness.
“This room though…” Rill sits up straighter, turning her head to glance at the sunlight painting patterns on the already painted walls. “It was always like this. It may be small and tucked away, but it’s honestly one of my favorite places in the Lighthouse. It’s always a little warmer in here. The sun’s always shining through the windows. The quiet in here feels like…comfort. Like home.”
“I feel like you’re trying to lead me somewhere, but I’m not sure where it is,” Aili chuckles.
“Well, you said it yourself, didn’t you?” Rill grins back at her, “This is the only room with Inquisition symbols in it.”
Aili blinks. Makes a face.
“There are also murals of Mythal in here. Because she’s everywhere.”
It is Rill’s turn to sigh.
“Maybe she is. Maybe he couldn’t escape from her. Maybe he never will. What she did. What she made him do. What was done to her. But the library with all his memories of her is big and dark and gloomy. And the statues of her are stiff and aloof and cold. And the little room upstairs he shoved a cot into to sleep is…just depressing, really.”
 She catches the older woman’s gaze. Holds it.
“It’s called the Lighthouse, but the beacon at the top isn’t where the light is. It’s not in some huge memorial room dedicated to Mythal. It’s here. There’s a chair with your seal on it, almost waiting for you to sit and watch him play. There’s the paintings on the walls. There’s… Look, when did this become me telling you about the Dread Wolf’s heart?”
“I have no idea,” Aili laughs in earnest this time.
“Really though, this is a good room. I like to sit and read by the windows in here sometimes. The light in here always makes be think of summer afternoons. The air has a sweetness to it, too. Something flowery. Heather, maybe. Or Lavender.”
Aili starts, her eyes going wide.
“What’s wrong?” Rill asks.
“You said it smells like lavender in here?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“It’s…the soap I use. For my hair. I always have.”
“Well, there you have it!” Rill grins in triumph. “He kept your memory here. Away from his regrets. Somewhere bright and happy. Well…as happy as Solas gets, anyway. Not too bad for a candle flame, eh?”
Aili laughs again.
“Thank you, Rook.”
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suuuupernovaaa · 2 years ago
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muntxa si
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MUNTXA SI: (english) to mate with, marry
(Adult) Neteyam vehemently opposes his human mate becoming Na’vi, for fear of losing her.
This story makes many assumptions - just go with them to enjoy the ride.
2,247 words.
The strength with which Neteyam opposed the idea, right from the very start, was a shock to everyone who knew him. When his mother first mentioned it, she saw a familiar fury in his eyes, one she knew she’d worn many times. 
His brother nearly lost his head when he brought it up, and his father hadn’t even tried to broach the subject.
What he didn’t know was that they weren’t bringing it up of their own accord, though it was something they’d thought about before. They were bringing it up because I had brought it up to them first.
I was the only one who wasn’t shocked by his reaction. I knew that all Neteyam would see was the danger and risk involved, and there was nothing more detestable to Neteyam than putting me in harm’s way. This was a sometimes annoying but mostly reassuring trait of his, especially given that, as a human living on Pandora, danger was lurking around nearly every corner for me. Ewya had blessed me with a strong and capable - but slightly overbearing - protector.
After weeks of his family telling me it was me who would have to convince him, I finally plucked up the courage.
We sat in our Mauri pod, late at night, and the words spilled out of my mouth before I could fully control them.
“I want to become Na’vi. Norm has an Avatar for me, he’s been hiding it since I was little, and he told me on my 20th birthday. It’s fully mature now.”
Neteyam sat at the edge of our pod, his legs dangling over the edge and into the water, and he spun around so fast that his braids smacked the wall of the Mauri.
His eyes narrowed and he lowered his chin. “No.”
Taking a deep breath beneath my mask, I stood up. “You don’t get to decide for me, Teyam. I have decided, and I know the clan will support me.”
“No!” He was standing too now, towering over me at nearly twice my height, but he could never scare or intimate me, even if he truly tried.
“Listen to me, Neteyam. You are only thinking of the risk involved, and not the reward. I can’t survive here forever, as one of the last humans. What if the air tanks run out? How will we live our lives together, with me in this human body? Have you considered the fact that your lifespan is twice mine? What will you do when I am too old, even, to run and swim? I won’t live like that, Neteyam!”
I felt hot tears in my eyes, and tried to blink them away in frustration. “You can’t force me to live a half-life with you when a full life is within my grasp! I know Ewya will give this to me. She wouldn’t have brought me to you if she didn’t want us to be together.”
Neteyam’s hands rested on my shoulders, enveloping me, stressing to the both of us our impractical size difference.
“Y/N... you don’t know that she will give this to us. She may take you home to her.”
Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath, trying to ignore the panic I could see in his face. 
“I have to do this, Neteyam. We won’t have a future together if I don’t. Norm and the others... they talk about having to leave, without a permanent colony here. Their supplies won’t last forever. They would either take me, or leave me here to die with no oxygen.”
Neteyam pulled me down, so we were sitting face to face, our legs crossed.
“I cannot lose you, Y/N.”
“This is our best chance, Neteyam. Please. Please let me do this.”
As much as I had been pretending it was only my choice, and I didn’t need his permission, I knew I couldn’t do it without his blessing. That just wasn’t something I could do to Ma Teyam. 
I watched his chest rise and fall with deep breaths as he contemplated.
“We will do this, Y/N, and if Ewya takes you, I will follow you to her myself and bring you back.”
-- 
It took time to plan - time that was exciting for all of us. We decided to fly back to the Tree of Souls to give my human body the best chance, since with the Metkayina, the ceremony would have to take place under water.
The Omatikaya welcomed the Sullys, and one sky person, back with open arms. After all, it wasn’t as if I was a stranger to them - I had many friends to greet, as well.
The ceremony was set for the night after our return. Neteyam was quiet at dinner, and his mother watched him cautiously.
“Son,” she said, handing him a plate, “I see the spirit within Y/N. It reminds me of your father - strong, stubborn, a little frustrating.” She smiled, but Neteyam couldn’t bring himself to follow suit. “She will be okay.”
She gripped her son’s arm and he nodded, but the sinking feeling in his chest was there to stay, until the ceremony was complete.
--
Neteyam walked with me, hand and hand, through the large crowd there to witness my birth - or my funeral.
I could feel the tension radiating through his body, but no matter what I said, I wasn’t able to ease it for him. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous, myself.
There she lay - me, but not me. Tall, with long, thick black hair and eyes that would surely be a piercing gold when opened. She was beautiful; it was the first I was seeing her.
“Oh, Neteyam...” I said, a lump in my throat, and gripped his arm tightly as we approached the tree.
He placed his hand over mine. “You can still change your mind,” he said, but with a sly smile, the first I’d seen him wear in a while - he knew there was little chance of that.
He lifted me up and placed me next to my new body, where the spiritual leader of the Omatikaya waited, a serene and focused look on her face.
She gestured for me to lay down, and I turned to Neteyam. Maybe it was the proximity to the Tree of Souls, but I felt a calm - and tried to convey it to Neteyam with a smile. His family stood behind him, taking their seats to join the ceremony. Neteyam would stay with me until it was done.
He nodded, and I could practically see his heart beating through his chest as he helped me to lay down, my head inches from my avatar’s.
“You will sleep now. Be calm,” a voice above me said, and I had only time to tell Neteyam I loved him before I sank away.
--
Watching her eyes close, a panic gripped Neteyam’s heart and he felt as if he could vomit in front of the entire clan.
He turned and sought his mother, and would have been embarrassed to do so in any other situation. She was seated between his brother and father, all holding hands with eyes closed, chanting to Ewya.
He watched as Ewya reached up, covering his mate in feather light touches, and he put his hands on her, praying to Ewya, reminding Ewya how much this human woman meant to him.
Silently, he told Ewya of the first time they’d met, at only six years old, and of their first kiss at 12, how she fought with him through the Great War despite her size, how long it took him to work up the courage to ask her to be his mate, and how they cried together when she said yes.
This woman is my life, Great Mother, he prayed, I ask that you return her to me in either body here, and we will make the most of this life we have together.
Every minute felt like an hour, and then the Tsahik reached over and pulled the mask off of his love’s face.
She was gone, at least from this form.
“She is passing through Ewya now, Neteyam, and you must guide her back,” the Tsahik said.
He leapt carefully over to her avatar body, taking it in for the first time. Those were her lips, the shape of her eyes, the sharp dip between her nose and mouth - all his favorite things about her, right here.
“Yawne,” he said, reaching out to touch her soft face, “can you hear me? Follow my voice. Come back to me so that we may return home together, and live the life you promised me.”
He looked to the Tsahik, who nodded in encouragement and resumed chanting. The cries of the clan rose around him, his father and mother’s the loudest, and he steadied his shaking body with a deep breath.
“Y/N, Yawne, hear my voice and follow it. I will wait for you forever - remember the promise I made. Do not deliver two souls to Ewya this day.”
He nearly shot back when the woman before him took a gasping breath, and amber eyes shot open.
--
It’s impossible to describe how it happens. It’s not a wordly experience, and there are no words to properly convey it.
Ewya is real, and she gave me a second chance at life.
Neteyam’s face hovered inches above mine as I gasped for air. He slipped his hand around the back of my neck and pulled me up, and even in this new body, in my disoriented state, I was acutely aware that I was naked.
“Yawne,” Neteyam whispered, and I saw the tears spilling from his eyes. He only called me Yawne - beloved - once before, when he asked me to be his mate.
“Tiyawn,” I replied, my voice breathy and almost foreign to my ears. My ears! I reached up, trailing my hand over my thick hair and reaching up to feel the pointy, blue ears atop my head. A giggle escaped before I could stop it.
“Can you stand?” he asked, gripping my arms.
I leaned into him. “I am naked.”
“You are Na’vi now,” he replied with almost a shrug, “but I will carry you if it concerns you.”
“I think you should, my legs feel weak.”
They felt strong. My entire body felt strong, and I couldn’t wait to learn how to use it. 
I glanced over my shoulder to see myself. My former self. As Neteyam lifted me into his arms and stood up, I thought I should cry for her... but she didn’t feel like me, not anymore. 
The clan cheered and whooped, hollered and threw their arms triumphant in the air, as Neteyam stood with me and let out what sounded like a war cry, shaking me in his arms.
The joy in his face was like nothing I had ever seen before. It was beautiful, especially seen through these new eyes.
He rushed through the crowd, to his Ikran, and mounted in one fell swoop with me in his arms.
The Ikran felt so much smaller than she had when we’d arrived less than an hour ago, but of course, I was the one who had grown over three feet.
He took off, holding the saddle with one arm and me tightly in the other, to a place we could be alone.
--
Back at our temporary home, I was finally able to take a breath and try my new body out. For my first few steps, I had to hold Neteyam’s hands, until I got the hang of it.
I felt weak, but I knew that would wear off. This body was strong, and I was going to make it even stronger, so I could finally keep up with Neteyam.
The thought made me burst into tears as he searched through his mother’s things for something I could wear.
“What is it, Y/N? Do you hurt?” he asked, rushing to my side with only a necklace in his hands.
Embarrassed, I tried to wave him off, but he was too on edge. “Tell me, Yawne. Tell me what you need.”
I threw my arms around his neck and pulled him tightly to me. My face rested perfectly on his chest, where before, it was just over his waist - making hugging an awkward feat. We fit perfectly together now, and it made me cry even harder.
“I’m just so happy and grateful, Neteyam.” I pulled back, wiping at my tears. “Tell me what you think.”
“What I think?” he asked, turning his head to the side.
“Of... me. Of my body. Do you still, I mean, do you like it?”
His gaze softened and he reached up to cup my cheek. “I have loved you for 15 years, Y/N. I loved you human form. Your small body, your beautiful soft hair, and your light eyes. I loved every moment of our life together.”
The tears threatened to return.
“But this... this is my dream, Y/N. I see it now, what you’ve always seen. You were meant to be one of The People, to be with me, to be the mother of my children and my mate for life.”
A smile spread across my new face so wide, I thought it might crack. “I love you, Neteyam.”
He pulled me into his strong arms, and we took a deep breath together.
“Forever,” he whispered in my ear.
I squeezed him tight. “Forever.”
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