#and i cant tell if its a fictionkin thing or just me being too used to rping)

[prestonmonterey]

if Preston Adamandi was a my little pony I think he would be an earth pony because even tho people think that earth ponies are “lame” I really like them or maybe a Pegasus because he’s kind of a jock like ambrose sorta sorry I’m incoherent but you like Preston so I thought rambling about him would be fun

yes yes yes yes

uhh

ambrose would be a pegasus i think (theyd be like um. what are their names. the bullies in the time travel episode that make rainbow do the race)

[looking them up] WAIT THERE WERE 3 OF THEM????

i forgot the grey one existed :\

uhh anyway theyd be these guys

i was gonna say that adrian would be an earth pony bc hes boring like that (its not true we're the same amount of boring im just a narcisist /hj)

but i guess since theres 3 bullies then he gets to be a pegesus too

id say middle is ambrose, cant remember if hes actually the leader,, but he has a dumb bell cutie mark so i think that fits the best cuz the others are sports

hmm idk about preston or ambrose id say preston left bc hes the one i remember so hes prolly more important /hj

(i do think earth ponies are lame :\ ik theres multiple episodes going like 'but earth ponies are the strongest' or whatever but. idk pegasi are prolly strong too)

[cheap-jumpscare]

ranting abt being kanade yoisaki.... if ur uncomfy with doubles, scroll away !!!!!!!1

raghhhhh i need white hair and my hair needs 2 be straight n long...... sighs. i already have blue eyes n im already extremely pale so thumbs up but ugh. i shld be skinnier too and that is related :|

i cant tell if im fickin or not but i rlly do wish i looked like. me? ive even always ACTED like me. im just. Kanade Yoisaki. this is the one "just like me fr.." character that's been CONSISTENT.

i was watching a video essay my meowtual Vriska made and SIGHS yeah. its >here< btw pls watch it. very good art and a very cool survey !!

^ but in relation to that I had a mini realization sorta. if i am a kanade fictionkin then i AM just Kanade. there would be no seperation between me and Kanade Yoisaki. if i AM fictionkind then I wouldn't be a "kanade kinnie" id BE kanade. just like how Vriska's whole video is about how fickind tend to suppress their identity to be more palatable. its just so hard to figure out if i AM fickindddd :|

and even then i dont feel like id be exactly like 'canon' me. id be different. id have several traits and such that i always have said I 'headcanon' Kanade with. maybe thats just me bein a bit Sillymode but urghfghg.

im just like i am in the game. i dont go outside regularly because the sun hurts my eyes, bright lights in general suck (though this may just be because my eyes are a lighter color- qwant it its weird), im very serious about music and i do believe it CAN save people, im not very good at personal hygiene and yet inexplicably im considered ~generally~ attractive by, at the very least, my parents. I've mentioned all that before, though. Plus preferring online school.

another thing i want to say bc i feel like it. everytime i see anyone else who's also a character i Am (ex, someone else who's Kanade) i dont ever get bothered. bc my brain rationalizes it through 'multiverse theory.' TL;DR 'doubles' dont bother me because i believe in infinite alternate realities and that if someone else is also kanade then they're just a kanade from an alternate reality. does that make sense?

i still feel a disconnect between the kanade in prosekai and myself- the kanade i am. enough to where i can refer to her in the 3rd person comfortably. im not the same as her. there's differences, I can feel them. ill just refer to Kanade in the game as 'canon!kana'/'canon!me' because that's easiest;

the biggest difference between us is that, well, canon!me is human. she also isn't explicitly trans in any direction, and is also a hard worker. all of that is stuff that doesnt apply. im trans- im queer in every sense of the word. every inch of my identity is a little weird, a little 'out of the norm.' No part of me can be easily described to a lot of people. I do know, thankfully, that people in the real world can be accepting. My Nana supports xenogenders and she's in her early 70s. Granted, I am her main source of information on neurodivergency and queer identity, but I'm able to unbiasedly explain terms and gently guide her in the right direction. I would feel safe in admitting I am not human, and do not like physically being so. I'm lazy- admittedly due to depressive symptoms, but I do not like work. I generally just hate having to do physical activity- even just in-general work. The reason I'm almost-failing all of my classes in highschool is because I hate working for more than a few minutes at a time, especially consecutively.

Of course, I will say I am not a person who really experiences delusions. That isn't to say those who do are lesser or that I'm better- it's just a simple fact. I specify that because this is the 'piss on the poor' website. I can seperate my physical body right now as I physically am from my possible fictionkinnity- at this current moment I am (at the very least biologically) not a shapeshifter like I often call myself. I am human, I am biologically a perisex female, etc. I don't like to see myself like that. I am Uta, yes. But Uta isn't a human. Uta is Kanade Yoisaki. Uta is a shapeshifter. In some way or another, I am nonhuman- or otherwise 'different.' I always have been.

idk. im just kanade. i dont properly know what i mean by it, other than. well. I Am Kanade. and that's really all there is to it.lon

[bladeklnd-archive]

being a fictive/fictional introject is really weird because on one hand you have people who just see you as Kinnie Lite, and act like its just a part of me or im playing a role or i wasnt Always Dave or whatever, or think that im not “actually” dave, im just fictionkin, i can opt-out whenever, blah blah blah.

on the OTHER hand, you have people who wont see you as anything other than a roleplayer. for example i have troll headmates who type with a typing quirk and have struggled many, many times to get people to take them seriously because of it. sure, they can drop their typing quirk, and for a few minutes it wont seem like a big deal, but theyre USED to typing like that. thats their THING, thats like asking them to speak entirely differently because it personally makes you uncomfortable; why would you want that when they havent done anything wrong? a kid typing in all caps is the bane of your fucking existence?

like, cosplay has been an outlet for our system, but even then people only see “oh ho ho its someone dressed like dave homestuck!” and then theyll be like “so whats your name” and i have to pretend NOT to be a fictive all over again, the fun is over, i cant feel like myself anymore because if i do i put everyone at SO much risk. and i cant just TELL THEM “no im actually dave strider” because THEN, later, if we speak again and im NOT dave strider, what are they gonna say? but they wouldnt even believe that i am dave in the first place because thats silly, you arent dave and youre not a god and homestuck isnt real! yeah well no shit, i know that too. (the latter two, i mean. i AM “really dave strider”)

even with cosplay considered, thats still “roleplay,” so what am i supposed to do?

so youre posed with this option: do you want people to take you seriously, but not see you being a fictive as your entire identity, and brush you off as “just” fictionkin? or do you want people to see you as a roleplayer, who has an entire personality behind the roles they play? no matter, neither outcome is correct.

newsflash, asshole: im ALWAYS dave strider, im ALWAYS like this, i DONT have a “second” personality, im NOT pretending or roleplaying, i AM A FUCKING FICTIVE AND I CANT HELP IT! i was brought into this world via brain 2+ years ago as dave goddamn strider and thats how im gonna fucking exit it.

that isnt to say i dont love being in a system, i do, and i couldnt imagine being a singlet whatsoever. but i wish people didnt see “fictive” as an extension of “fictionkin.”

[parakeet]

i love it when other 'kin people try to be like 'yeah im kin but not like THOSE kin ppl uwu' when theyre talking about ppl being kin the way, yknow, the actually established otherkin community has described it for decades lol like im not gonna tell people theyre not valid unless theyre literally hurting people but like it sucks when ppl are like "uhm actually im not embarrassing like kin who identify As something lol" like 🙄

yeah like its one thing to be like ‘we’re not like that’ about one extremist or something but like these ppl are literally trying to act like the definition and half the community are wrong or weird or smthing. like this is just what otherkin is. idc if you identify with something or as it as long as youre not hurting anyone its ya own business.

it reminds me of how like… ppl used to put a huge focus on spiritual otherkin (those who believed they were animals in a past life) over psychological or neurological kin because non kin were more open to the idea. pushing half or 3/4s of the community to the side to suck up to non kin or try and what, trick them into thinking the kin community is different to what it is, is a futile effort bc there are always gonna be people who think its weird no matter how hard you try and convince them that Actually you’re a Good Kin. they dont care. trust me

it also reminds me of when there were animal kin who were like ‘fictionkin are ridiculous!! you’re not a dragon Theyre Not Real’ and that always made me laugh too bc you cant be out there believing you are a fox yet act like other people cant be a fucking phoenix if they want or whatever. like? get over yourself

[starlightbarbie]

(don’t reblog this post if you’re not one of my friends talking to me)

okay, you know, i changed my mind? i’m cleaning house today, airing out laundry, so why not do the same emotionally?

it’s been weighing on me too long and making me feel like a bad person but i’ve been so terrified of burning bridges that i never want to admit when i have a different opinion social-justice/spiritual-wise than my friends on here.

bc a lot of people seem to have the attitude that having a different political opinion than someone means you literally can’t interact with them again or continue being friends.

which i understand, it’s an online safe space and you want to surround yourself with like-minded people so you can enjoy your time away from the real-life people whose opinions you’re stuck around. tumblr is kind of the only place you CAN talk to ppl about lgbt, race, gender, etc issues and avoid other types of ppl.

but it just seems so, in a way, divisive and un-productive to alienate people who you enjoy talking to and being friends with, who share all of your political, social justice beliefs except ONE or TWO....just because their ideology doesn’t match perfectly with yours.

especially when they’ve been respecting your opinions the entire friendship and there’s no reason you wouldn’t be able to continue talking just without discussing those topics you’ve never discussed in the first place because they’ve been silent about them...

so maybe i’m afraid of all my friends finally learning my two differing opinions and immediately going “wow youre a bigot we cant be friends” and maybe thats presumptive and wrong but i can’t help my instinctual worries, you know? am i putting up too much self-defense here??

i hope i dont sound attack-y which i’m worried i might because whenever i get ranty....but whatever, this is all just MY opinion and if you read it i hope you can understand where im coming from and then, take from it what you will.

.hhmm. enough stalling...

ive never been “anti” otherkin--as i understand it’s a spiritual belief for some and a coping mechanism for others, and there’s no reason for me to bash that or find any fault with people who just feel a connection to a certain animal or whatever. that’s been happening for all of human existence, there are religions which believe in reincarnation, and i’m agnostic anyways.

i wasn’t raised religious, tho my mom was raised catholic--she wanted my sister and i to come to god on our own terms in our own time instead of being brainwashed by a church since babyhood. so far it just made us very secular. but i’ve had jewish, christian, muslim friends, and never disrespect anyone’s spiritual beliefs. i do preach separation of church and state and hold the political views that come with that, but i believe in freedom to express religion as long as it doesn’t infringe on another human’s rights.

but when it goes past otherkin...people identifying as animals, plants, and galaxies, that doesn’t harm anything--but when it comes to fictionkin and factkin it makes me very uncomfortable.

it feels extremely like theft of intellectual property and theft of identity. factkin, i have never actually seen a person identifying as, just people having “discourse” over, so i dont know if its even real but if it is...i dont even know if i have to argue against it, it’s literally pretending to be another person who is alive?? and is themselves. it’s way beyond wrong to pretend to actually be a famous person, and it is NOT a healthy coping mechanism. it could actually really scare or harm that person they’re pretending to be.

fictionkin is something i have seen a LOT and have friends who id that way, so that’s i guess the big topic here. no problem with otherkin, no one i know is factkin, but fictionkin....

i understand where it would come in as a coping mechanism, i really do. i can relate. i have characters that i’m very attached to, that i relate to very much, that i look up to and want to emulate. some of them i even feel unreasonably possessive over, like “well that’s my favorite character, they can’t be your favorite character if they’re already mine” which probably comes in to play with fictionkin feeling like they ARE the character so nobody else can be the character.

but the thing is, i can’t help but to feel like it’s intellectual property being stolen. it’s one thing to roleplay, to say “hey i know i dont own this character but i’m gonna pretend to be them and explore different scenarios.” the same for cosplaying or writing fanfiction and making fan art. using characters somebody else created to INSPIRE your own art is all fun and games as long as you dont claim to own any of the copyrighted materials.

claiming to BE the fictional character is totally claiming to own it. not legally obviously, i don’t think any fictionkin think they legally have rights to their kin, but definitely a huge mark of ownership to say “This is Me.”

they didn’t create that character. they didn’t spend hours, days, months, pouring their heart soul sweat blood and tears into bringing that character to life. the writer/artist did. when you write, you put literally all of yourself into your characters. every bit of it comes from your thoughts, your unique worldview, the things you’ve seen and learned all mixed together and spat out in a new form. it all comes from the mind of the character’s creator. in a way, their characters are each, them, or have their blood running through their metaphorical veins.

i am PASSIONATE about writing.

claiming to BE that character, that a writer put so much of themselves into, is almost like claiming to be that writer too. at least like carving out a piece of their mind and saying “this is mine, it came from my life in another universe. it doesn’t belong to you. it’s not a unique pattern of emotions and ideas and creativity that you spent years developing. it’s just me from another universe, what a coincidence, right?”

it’s so offensive to steal another person’s hard work like that. and tumblr--tumblr--is supposed to be this place where people care about art theft and crediting the owners matters? and that makes me very, very uncomfortable as an aspiring writer who has my own original characters developing in my head.

important side note: i dont think you can say that fictionkin doesnt actually hurt anyone the way factkin obviously would. i have seen personal accounts from people on tumblr that said people were tagging their ocs/self portraits as kin, or telling them that they were kin with their ocs and they were writing the story wrong in some way, and they were very distressed by it.

so. i have never said anything because i dont want to hurt anyones feelings and i dont want to lose friends, but i also have to be honest and say what i believe if i want to respect myself as a person. so that’s what i believe.

and i don’t think it’s a necessary course of action to cut off ties with someone because they dont believe in fictionkin. its like stopping being friends with someone because they have a different religion than you. i’ve had christian, jewish and muslim friends and as i said, i’m non-religious.

i understand that maybe identifying as a character is more tied with your personal identity than your religious identity, so it’s natural you would feel like people should accept that that character is part of your personality--but please understand that i can accept that there are aspects of all those characters in you and that you relate to them, without expecting me to believe that infinite universes AND reincarnation across those universes exist, which is more than any of my religious friends have asked of me. (ie no one has tried to convert me to their personal spiritual beliefs)

so that said, idk if anyone read all of this, but if you want to stop being my friend over it i wont try to make you change your mind. if youre uncomfortable talking to me after this, its fine and i wont push it. i gave my reasoning for why im willing to stay friends and put our different beliefs aside so know that youre always welcome in my life if you want to be, but i wont force you if you dont.

the next one is worse. stay tuned.