#and i cant fathom processing more

[mr-payjay]

there are a Million ways to be a system. don't limit yourself or Restrict your idea of them too harshly. speak to multiple systems if you want better references for depicting them (or just to know how they work) because every system is different and unique

[jentlemahae]

-

[teluricaaaa]

oh man i really have got to sit down and work through this huh. gotta sit down and swallow this. Sit down and accept it.

[bakug0uzb1thc]

Hi! I absolutely adore your works and I was wondering if you could possibly make a Katsuki x reader where the reader lost their quirk and feel worthless without it? If it's too similar or you've made another one like that then I understand!! (⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)

HERE YOU GO SWEETS !! So sorry this took so long 😭😭

Post-war! Bakugou x Reader

────────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────────

It was weird not having a quirk. Not having the thing that defined who you were in your own uniqueness. The only thing that separated you from others.

Principal nezu let you stay at U.A and finish your 2nd year but you had to be moved to general studies and it was like you were in slow-mo. Watching the class you grew with become hero’s and accomplishing your dream pulled the strings of your heart daily; but watching Katsuki achieve his dreams was what really snapped everything into reality.

The promise you made to each other to become a hero and competing for number 1 was now just a foggy dream of the past you’ll never get to see. It hurt.

But what hurt more was the thought of him thinking you were worthless, useless— quirkless. So you did the only thing that seemed right, you avoided him.

You didn’t bother him, didn’t sleep in his dorm, you no longer studied in the library, didn’t sit with him at lunch and it wasn’t like you could spar with him anymore.

You just kept to yourself and it worried him how much you isolated yourself and pushed everyone away like you couldn’t fathom another heartbreak.

He couldn’t watch this anymore, he thought giving you space would help you sort things out and you would come to him when you were ready but it just seemed like you were getting worse and he couldn’t stand by and watch it unfold further.

After classes he made his way down the general studies hallway looking for you, it earned him weird looks but he didn’t have time to curse out some extra he didnt care about. He scanned the halls looking for your familiar figure, eyes darting until they landed on you.

Your hair was pushed back lazily because you just didn’t have it in you to brush it out let along style it. Your uniform was crumpled, you smoothed it out when you could but it just didn’t seem like a priority, you were already known as the girl who lost her quirk you doubted that a few ripples in your skirt would change that nickname.

That all had nothing atop your expression, it was blank; unreadable. The closest emotion Bakugou could point out was despair.

Without a word he pushed you back into the now empty classroom and shut the door shut with a quiet slam. You didnt have time to process what was happening before you saw his ash blonde hair and striking vermilion eyes. The same eyes that looked at you with the same amount of admiration and devotion.

“Katsuki-“ he didnt let you get a word out before he engulfed you in a bear hug. He didnt exactly have a plan on what he was going to say or do everything he did was all in the moment. Raw with emotion.

“I can’t do this anymore, I just cant.” He buried his scared cheek into your neck, sending shivers down your spine. “W-what are you talking about.” You tried to make sense of the situation in front of you but a deep down part of you was crumbling at his actions. It was getting harder and harder to keep your composure as you tried to claw him off you with no avail.

“Stop with the act, I understand you lost your quirk and it’s shitty but that doesn’t mean you have to push everyone away. Push me away.” His voice cracked. “B-but I thought..” you quivered in his hold, finally melting into his touch. “Thought what.” His hold tightened, afraid of what you were going to say.

“ I thought you’d think I’m useless becuase I don’t have a quirk anymore. I’ll never be a hero.” you finally let your emotions poor out letting the weight of emotions fall down on you. “I-I’ll never be a hero.”

His heart broke hearing your sobs and the tight grip you had on his uniform sleeve. “oh baby..” this was long over due. A moment with you both, just letting you cry into his arms. He was so stupid for letting you deal with this alone and he will forever beat himself up over it.

You both stayed like that for a while, wrapped in eachothers embrace letting the wave of emotions Settle before any of you spoke. “You’re not alone, I’m sorry for thinking that you needed space. I’m sorry for letting you deal with this alone.” He whispered into the sweet scent of your hair, slowly twisting a strand of your lock, trying to give some sort of comfort.

“It’s okay.. I distance myself on my own. It wasn’t your fault.” You sniffled, eyes closed feeling the waves of the moment subside. Only thing left between you both was a relief knowing that the worst of it all has passed.

[etherealspacejelly]

ok so the thing is. right. is that i cant fathom people liking me because im Cool

in my head. im not Cool. im Weird and Dorky. but im nice! and im friendly! and im kind! and im funny! and im fun to be around! but im not Cool, yk?

so im always like. yeah, people want to be my friend because im nice to them and i make them laugh sometimes and im pleasant to talk to

but people finding me Interesting? or like. wanting to impress me???? doesnt make any sense!!! because im just a silly weird strange little guy!!

i never notice when im someones Best Friend because. i always assume they like their other friends more. because they're cooler than me!! why would i be your favourite!!! that doesnt make sense!!

my friend from high school came over to visit me today and she told me that. she used to bring up doctor who episodes she had watched to impress me when we were younger. and i was like. HUH. WHUH?? HUH?????

impress??? me???? why???? why would you wanna???? huh??????

so i just. yea. idk. im just trying to process that maybe. people actually do think im cool and want my attention and maybe they're not just friends with me because im a Nice Friendly Guy. that seems. odd. to me.

hm.

it sure has been a day

[sleepboysummer]

eun hyuk analysis cause hes my fav for @finnsblood

oldest sibling. we know this. assumedly gave up the entirety of his teenage years to raise eun yu. dropped out of med school and got a job so she could pursue her dreams. his entire life revolves around her, the only times we see him smile in the show being when he is with her or thinking about her. she is pretty much his pride and joy, even though when we see her interact with him before the "apocalypse" she acts hostile towards him. ("you always used to bug me and cling to me when i didn't want you around") but he isnt even fazed, because he cares so much for her. when he makes the announcement to the tenants to come downstairs, its obviously spoken directly to her. hes begging her to be safe because shes literally his entire world. thankfully she survives all of the attacks in the green home, but its clear that if she didn't he would completely break. he'd have nothing left to live for without eun yu.

anyways about him as a leader. he clearly didnt INTEND to become that. he immediately jumped to fight the first monster while everyone else stood frozen in fear. eun hyuk, not even old enough to be out of college, the one to come up with a plan when no one else would because all he KNOWS is to protect. that is literally his only option. its so ingrained in his mind that he cant even fathom not moving to action to save as many people as possible. its in his blood.

his morals sort of remind me of the trolley problem. his focus is on preserving the greatest part of the whole, no matter who might die or get hurt to do that. like how he sends hyun-soo and yi-kyung out to retrieve supplies or turn on the electricity, because even if they died, their success would mean so much good for everyone that in his mind it would be worth it. and its not out of malice or hatred, even if it seems that way (mainly towards hyunsoo). because thats what he would do in their place. if he had been unable to die like hyunsoo was, or as strong and tactical as yikyung, he wouldve been right out there fighting like he sent them to do. he just knew they were more likely to succeed than he was. even if its not morally correct, its logical; at least when you look at the numbers. when sending hyunsoo to retrieve mr han, he doesnt care about saving the two children if it means having access to all of his skills that could possibly help save everyone. you can assume that he essentially only views people as what they can do for the group. i see a lot of people calling him morally gray, which i think is reasonable, but i do still think it comes from a good place- even if he does hurt a lot of people in the process.

being morally gray doesnt mean that he's violent, though. time after time you see someone hit him, or yell at him, or degrade him, or push him around, and time after time he just takes it. never once does he fight back. even when the gang holds a gun to his head, he doesnt cry or beg or scream for help. he stays stone-faced and frozen, the same as he always is, keeping a brave face for all of the others. when jin ok beats him and screams that he killed her daughter, he just lets her. yi-kyung throws him into walls like six times and he never does anything but quietly ask her to let go. i think its possible that he feels he deserves it. i mean, eun hyuk doesnt really seem to care about himself that much. he thinks of himself to be just as expendable as he thinks of everyone else, so his morals clearly dont come from a place of selfishness.

in fact, he is so incredibly UNselfish as a leader that he completely blocks out any sort of emotions that he experiences, putting his own needs and feelings aside to help the others. he knows that everything would fall apart without him being completely focused on the goal at all times. hes never shown taking a break for longer than just a few seconds to breathe, and even those are few and far between (from what i can remember, less than once an episode). i could be wrong, but the first time i think of him to be truly shaken is in episode four when he watches su-ung and min-ju die. he starts to panic, frantically pushing people out of the way and back, away from the danger, the only thing he knows to do. because theres nothing else he can do. he had to stand and watch his own faliure. he had to watch what comes of the people that he could not protect.

and when hes face-to-face with the monster that killed them, he doesnt move or run away, he just stays frozen, almost shell-shocked, knowing he could die at any moment. but he doesnt move. his eyes have the most emotion that hes shown in the series so far. it leaves him alive, with the blood of those he couldnt save sprayed across his face like a punishment for his faliure. (i love this shot, because it drips from his glasses looking like the tears that he can not cry.)

this is one of the only times that hes genuinely shaky. because what scares him is not the possibility of his own death- he is most scared when other people are facing death. like in episode nine when seon young is shot, he looks like hes holding back tears; but then later when they turn the gun to him, hes taking deep breaths, silent and still. he never once in the show fights for his own life. he only ever fights for others.

and then oh my god episode eight. dont even get me started on episode eight. when he has to deliver the killing blow and burn jaeheon to death- to do something so horrific to his friend who he cares for and respects so much. as i said earlier, again, here he just looks shell shocked. more so even than in episode four. you can see tears form in his eyes, and you can see him force them away.

when i first watched this show, i thought they were setting him up for a breakdown. he has so many moments where he just slightly shows the tiniest bit of fear or of sadness, but never tips over the edge, and i was confused when it never happened. but on my second rewatch i realized; when it comes to eun hyuk, whether a swallow, or a shaky breath, or the tiniest lip tremble- that is his breakdown. because hes so traumatized that if everything spilled out he would be too far gone. he could never recover from that. so his detachedness is a trauma response, his mind blocking everything hes been through out, because it has to, so that he doesnt fully break. (this is paralleled, i think, in season three when he actually IS completely emotionless. you really start to realize how much of his actions were actually motivated by his feelings early on.)

then- episode ten. when you can see him make the decision to leave the tunnel. he tells eun yu that hes leaving to bring hyunsoo back, and he smiles to her just a little bit, his voice just slightly more gentle than it usually is. and then when they see each other, he hears the ringing. but he ignores it. he doesnt see hyunsoo as a monster anymore. eunhyuk cares about him now- thats his friend, just like jaeheon had been, and sangwook, and so many others. and you start to have hope that maybe, maybe they can go back to eun yu together, and itll be okay, but just as you start to believe it hyunsoo shakes his head no and you remember how the show began.

but when he doesnt even try to stop hyunsoo from going out, you realize that was never what this is. hes not coming back. he has willingly gone out to kill himself.

all he wants as he dies is to think of his sister. he listens to her music and looks at their family picture. he loves her so much, she's his whole world, she's his everything. as long as him leaving is whats best for her, its going to be worth it.

and then as the building crumbles onto him, he smiles. and now that he's alone, with no one left to protect, he cries for the first and only time.

i think this is the most effective way it couldve been revealed that he is turning. he didnt let anybody know, because of course he didn't. he is the same as he's always been- he has to do what is the best for the group, no matter who it hurts or who has to die to get there. and now it is his turn. ughh i just love this moment so much its literally so important to me. it kind of reframes his entire character to me tbh. hes just soo interesting all i ever wanna do is analyze him

[fluffydice]

you should definitely write that yandere saiki idea you posted a bit ago if given the chance bc i would go feral. ur writing so good. scratches brain just right.

Kicking and screaming I REFUSE (until i clear up my writing schedule for the month,,,) you CANT MAKE ME-

Wordcount: 810

Warnings for referenced abusive relationships, and vague implications of dehumanization (treating someone more like a pet than a human)

The word ‘abomination’, no matter how harsh, kept brushing Kusuo’s thoughts. This Kuboyasu was so meek and dependent, the exact opposite of his own. Always on his heels like a loyal dog, staring at him attentively at the slightest movement. It made his stomach cramp. That wasn’t who Kuboyasu was. This boy had been twisted by his alternate self, and yet refused to see it. 

Kusuo stalked up his stairs and tried to think. Maybe it was a blessing he couldn’t read his mind. (Side effect of being from another dimension?) Kusuo didn’t want to hear his thought process, didn’t want to hear the praises and adoration for him that no doubt suffused this Kuboyasu’s thoughts. Telepathy would only keep Kusuo further away, out of pure disgust for what had happened to the other. It-

Oop. It might have kept Kusuo from ripping open his door and walking in on the other Kuboyasu changing. Kusuo froze in shock, his face beginning to burn, entirely unaware of what to do in this situation. This was never a problem he’d had to deal with before. What did people even do!? Oh, good grief, shit, normal people had it rough-

“Oh, you’re back!” Kuboyasu smiled, entirely too eager for someone standing in just their boxers. He was holding the shirt Kusuo had snatched from regular world’s Kuboyasu’s room, and in one smooth motion, it was tugged over his head. He hadn’t even jumped when Kusuo came in, like he was entirely certain of his safety here. 

Crazy. Kusuo couldn’t even fathom the idea. “Sorry,” he offered, a bit late. 

Kuboyasu gave him a confused look. “For what?”

…Ugh. “Nothing,” Kusuo sighed, realizing it wasn’t worth it. Kuboyasu sat down on Kusuo’s bed to tug up his pants, and Kusuo found himself staring. 

This Kuboyasu was abnormally pale. It made him look sick. But everything else pointed to a high degree of health; He was a nice weight and lacked even a hint of eye bags. His hair had a pleasant sheen to it that seemed to belie the assumption of low vitamin D, which made Kusuo think that the other him was even accounting for things like that. Pills, maybe?

Pills that Kuboyasu wouldn’t even be allowed to get himself. He had to rely on alternate Kusuo for all his needs, in complete control of another human being. 

Kusuo was suddenly reminded of his brother. He gave a hidden camera a quick glare, inwardly wondering what he made of the situation. 

Kusuo looked down, viscerally uncomfortable in his own body, then steeled himself. He forced his gaze back up. “Kuboyasu,” he said, getting the other’s attention. The boy straightened up, but Kusuo didn’t miss the flash of hurt at the usage of his last name. “What did you do? Before me?”

Kuboyasu’s eyes, without his glasses, were so wide. Guileless. Despite Kusuo’s Kuboyasu’s genuineness, he never looked like that. Fully trusting, nothing on his mind beyond adoration for the person speaking to him. It made Kusuo think about the dogs he saw sometimes, staring up at their owners like they were their whole world. Hell, Kusuo was this guy’s whole world. It was all he was allowed to see. 

A person who would never betray him, someone who would only ever see the good in him. Someone who loved as easily as they breathed because that’s all they had been trained to do. 

For a sickening moment, Kusuo could almost see the appeal in having that full-bodied trust, that security of love. Someone who would never hurt him by leaving.

A beat. Then- “I don’t remember,” Kuboyasu responded, smiling sweetly again. “Nothing, maybe. There wasn’t anything before you.”

So romantic. So heart-stoppingly, gut-churning horrific. Kusuo took a step back, shaking in sudden terror at himself. Alternate him, him-him, whatever it was. Other him had gone drunk with power over someone. That’s all this was. But there was a biting shame at the realization that this was something he himself was capable of, too. If he was pushed just enough, abandoned just one time too many-

Kusuo tugged open the door and fled. For a moment, he thought about leaving, but found himself stopping at the top of the stairway, breathing hard and squeezing his eyes shut. 

He was in charge of Kuboyasu’s care right now. It obviously upset the other when he left. Alternate him had made this mess, and now Kusuo had to accept the fact that he was the one holding the reins for now. 

He could hear Kuboyasu approaching hesitantly, obviously unsure of his place after being rejected by Kusuo so many times. He forced himself to turn around and cleared his face of any discomfort. 

Kuboyasu was too fragile to go through a new environment, a new reality, without his security blanket. Kusuo couldn’t push him away; it’d break him. 

And something told Kusuo that alternate him would be none-too-pleased to get his favorite pet back in pieces.

[pixiecaps]

what did you think of q!quackity's lore today? ngl I cried at the end the end broke sm

SO GOOD!!!!!!!! the entire pacing felt just right with qqs character and i love the implied future conflict with oscurucho because despite qq not agreeing to his deal qq now has something new he loves that oscurucho can use against him and for whatever reason get qq on his side to do his bidding.

im also such a lover of the initial rejection of the new eggs from assigned parents. because when you look at the entire situation the islanders are in it is Fucked up. it is wildly fucked up. none of these people chose to be parents and frankly some of them probably wouldnt have been if the job wasnt forced upon them. you have that layer of fucked up. and then these parents get attached and they love and care for their child but they quickly realize they can die!! and be gone. forever!!! and suddenly theres anguish and grief and tragedy because you feel as though you failed and lost the one thing that mattered most. again fucked up because why do they need to die? why do they have lives when them as parents are technically immortal? NOW OUT OF NOWHERE IN YOUR WORST STATE OF MIND AND YOUR DARKEST MOMENTS… youre given another kid. another. kid. as if it was a common exchange. once again no choice. its yours now and you have to care for it despite all your hurt and all your trauma. it feels as though these people are laughing in your face just deriving pleasure out of watching you do this dance of getting attached and losing it all. it makes perfect sense for qq to not want to believe pepito is his son and the way he reacted makes perfect sense. and it hurts because pepito is just a kid!!! pepito cant possibly comprehend or fully conceptualize all thats been lost and all the harm that has been caused towards pepitos parents. all pepito wants is pepitos family. and tragically that’s something that isnt going to be easy because grief is a lifelong process and allowing yourself to love again is a choice that needs to be made by an individual which you cannot force. like theres no way in hell a parent who already lost their child would have such an accepting and easy reaction to that. its bizarre and jarring. and difficult. and i love how the ccs portray it

itsso so sad but thats why quackity choosing to stay is so much more powerful. because he knows fully well he will be hurt by this. he is tired and he wants to die more than anything and he cant possibly fathom having to endure yet another death. but he stays. despite knowing hes playing into this cycle. for now he stays. and thats all that matters

anyways ywah good stream ^_^_^

[ludinusdaleth]

As a toroghead i would love to hear your torog thoughts!

toroghead 😭 thats a cute title.

i guess im just intrigued by him more than nearly all of the pantheon. how cool the kings cage episodes/the laughing hand were. art of him being able to actually slightly rattle me when i was younger. the sheer body horror. and then downfall showed he was the one who saw predathos, and tengar fall? and he maintains his pain because he cant fathom processing that memory? and then we learn hes part of why ludinus was orphaned? crazy shit.

[agustdakasuga]

hi! i started reading one of your series when i decided to take peak on your acc and saw your pinned. im really sorry that happened to you. that's an absolutely fucked up situation. and as someone who wrote things before, i completely symphatized with you. writing a story is never an easy feat. someone will need to pour their time, and effort to brain storm every words and emotions they will put on a story.

readers will read it for only a few minutes but authors swerved through the process of writing it for a few hours, some might take days before completing it. i cant fathom the feeling of having your hard work stolen with only a few clicks.

what is more infuriating is that authors in every platform like tumblr were writing stories for FREE. they write for fun and then someone will just blatantly plagiarize, destroying all the fun from writing.

i hope you're okay now though. you need to be okay in order for that rat to be reprimanded so rest and always take care of your health

— ❄️ anon

thank you anon, i had a great time reading this and felt comforted by it. have a great new year’s day 💜

[alisface]

Fsm for fun and christmas gayming

Soooooo a friend recently gave me some space marine sheets. I dont play sm so I cannot fathom why they did this. But I've had a pretty fun time painting them and basing them of of me and my friends!

So the one I made first was just as a test for the colour scheme but she is now the leader, I never do glowy weapons but i was surprised how good it came out

Next i added me! To get the hair right I walked up to the guy who owns the lgs, grabbed a fistful of my hair and asked him to colour match it. And he did a great job! I also put a nifty trans decal on her front because I like living like that and putting it into my hobbies. She was also a kitbash, the other three leader looking ones were ment to have cool extras.

Next was someone very close to me with blue hair pronouns (she/they) and a GUN in real life. So it was a very easy conversion and they get two guns

Finally the other person very close to me gets two swords. I think it looks pretty good!

I've also recently finished a fifth one and will use it here to show the process:

So here are the primary and ancillary colours I used

This green takes three coats because it comes out fairly wispy

Next is a dark green for the under armor peices. I find It works better than just black so the actual black parts can seem like a different more flexible texture

Next is black in all the joints and and the main trim

And finally for the main colours I used a gold leaf paint. This paint sucks and I hate it. It's very watery and takes alot of shaking to get it useable. It's the other white fr

So onto the other colours. Some are only used on single peices. This one is just on the gun casing

There are alot of metal bits all over, you cant see it to well but theres some on the helmet pipes.

Next is the bronze, with this the backpack is done

Then theres the browns for all the pouches and the seal. For the deal I also usual do a thin white on top to give it a more papery look.

This red is used exactly once and it's on the wax seal

I use a much lighter red on the chain sword and the base level of the sholder fire

Next is an orange and a yellow applied with very messy strokes to give it that 'flame' effect. Theres also the yellow on the eyes.

Then after some touch ups and re lining some areas (yall dont have to do this but I'm messy) shes ready to join her sisters

There also things like oil or highlighting I could do but I'm going to hold of on that for all models until I've figured out where I'm gonna set them

[bitchkay]

Do you have any drabbles or short fics for Robin playing with his human siblings? 🥺

Kitty deserves more attention, and so do ur sillies

I dont😔👊🏽💔

But I also haven't opened google docs in so long--

I haven't progressed on alot of wips simply cus I dont want to--

Like I'm like "I wanna work on this" then I open the doc and go "no, I actually dont"

The fics will however be let out of the vault eventually💯

I did start a wip a while ago about pregnant sex-- i know, but I stopped cus I dont know how to make it not sound weird like I really wanted to touch upon pregnancy hormones a d what it was like being pregnant with Halo compared to what it was like being pregnant with the twins and I started doing a bunch of research about it and what's normal, abnormal, and like the nuances about arousal during pregnancy even from the husbands side of the ordeal and how emotions can really be on high during the second to third trimester

There also another I started kinda on the whim a little bit ago that's like angst/hurt comfort which is more about the complications during the pregnancy w the elder twins and Rio reacting to everything that's happened so much so fast after the birth because the pregnancy w the twins was miserable and not the best experience cus it was a high risk pregnancy mostly in part due to being pregnant with twins especially fraternal twins and it being your first ever pregnancy on top of them being twins, so the birth was not an easy or fast process, I also did a bunch of research on the complications that can happen during birth and the circumstances if one was to die during birth, you definitely do live but I needed to know the extent of how much pain I can put you through, I also searched a bunch of medical terms and recovery processes for after a complicated birth and recovering from surgery, it's pretty much Rio working through his emotions cus yeah he just became a dad but you were also unconscious for a scary amount of hours and did a lot if the post birth bonding without you there next to him, it's a little darker than stuff I usually write but one of the reasons I love my little au so much is I be doing some goddamn research on shit I will never experience(I don't wanna be pregnant ever in my life)

☝🏽☝🏽Would you believe that either one of those wips I mentioned are probably rn 4-5 paragraphs tops, maybe 3 excluding the dialogue

Theres also "Boys will be bugs" (which I haven't started yet) which is pretty much Theo playing outside in the dirt cus he likes dirt and bugs, Theo loves bugs, like he loves bugs, yeah, hes autistic, he has a per caterpillar he cant wait til turns into a butterfly and set free

And then there's "Two pairs of twins" I think I started it idk I don't think I did, but it's about the dynamics between the oldests and the youngests, the elder twins and the younger twins, Adephagia and Gulliver watching the toddler Dylan and Eliana pretty much like damn I can't believe we're 16 apart and making a joke about neutering their dad because they cannot fathom the idea of their parents ever having sex but also, I touched on this in Prince and Princess but cus they're getting older they're more distant than they once were, they're still close but they're now burdened with more responsibility and stress because they're the oldest and one of them would one day succeed their father on the throne but because of you and your magic of dear lady vane until one of their manifest ancient magic it's not clear who exactly would be taking the throne. Talking care of their baby sisters is kinda like how they bond, you know? they're just regular siblings and not heirs to a throne, also the girls are really cute, they fight over who looks more like who cus Dylan and Eliana are also fraternal twins💀

Theres also another idea in my head that simply just have not written down but it's been in my noggin since I posted Prince and Princess and it like the other side of that like it takes place on the same day but kinda from Halos perspective like it goes through Halos day while the elder twins are getting fired for their first adult sized royal finery and like it kinda just introduced Halos little crush on Thoma, nothing comes of it cus Thoma is obviously way older and known her since she was born but it's just innocent little schoolgirl crush, you know how it is shes 14 and Thoma is nice to her kinda like how young girls would have a crush on their teacher, Halo helps him out with some of his tasks and stuff, just like how in prince and princess there was a Theo and Atlas cameo, there would be a Genesis w the younger twins cameo, I think that would be cute♡

I love that you feed my braid worms and I can rant about my sillies, all I be doing nowadays maladaptivly daydream about them

☆𝕋𝕙𝕣𝕖𝕖'𝕤 𝕒 𝕔𝕣𝕠𝕨𝕕, 𝕗𝕠𝕦𝕣'𝕤 𝕒 𝕡𝕒𝕣𝕥𝕪 + 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕗𝕒𝕞𝕚𝕝𝕪 𝕤𝕖𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕤 𝕞𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥

[cartoonrival]

I've been on T for 3 years, and I've been indecisive all my life. I went in a whole lot of circles for months trying to make up my mind about whether I wanted to or not.

The process I went through was basically: I came out around Nov. 2020. thought that I would probably eventually want to start T based on watching other people's progress videos and started doing research about the effects. saw a therapist to try and be sure starting T was the right thing for me (therapist ended up being really shitty and thought that going on T would make me binary + not asexual, spoiler alert it did not). put it off another 5-6 months longer than I had intended to be sure shitty therapist wasn't influencing my decision. made up my mind not to start, because I was sure my extended family would cut me off. My thought process at the time was like, if could just be stuck on a desert island I would do it, if I could just live in isolation forever, then I would do it, but I couldn't handle the idea of explaining to anybody why I needed to. started breaking down crying a couple times a week at the idea of never getting to go on T. met a guy at a party who had just started T and I was so consumed with envy that I couldn't think about anything else the entire time. made an appointment with my informed consent clinic 1 month out to make sure I was sure, and then told my parents. They freaked out a little because they were convinced that going on T would make me bald and also dead (neither of those things has happened yet), and then they got over it, and the rest of my family ended up being fine. Finally started T in May 2021. One minor health issue since then (too many red blood cells), but zero regrets.

Sorry this is long. I think probably a lot of the indecision I went through might have been unnecessary, but the process of sorting through my own doubts about it was still really important. I don't know the situation you're in, but for me the most important thing to figure out was whether I was avoiding doing it because I didn't want the effects, or because I was worried about what other people would think. Also idk if i can include links but check out this piece by Daniel Lavery, it just perfectly captures the kind of justifications I was running through trying to talk myself out of starting https://thenewinquiry.com/the-stages-of-not-going-on-t/ I think indecision must be incredibly common and normal, if not universal.

thank you very much for this. i think i personally have a very hard time imagining myself in situations i’m not in or in a hypothetical future so like. i have no fucking idea what i would do if i started growing facial hair. there is genuinely no way for me to know if i want facial hair until i see myself irl with facial hair, for example. that’s i think where the core of my indecision comes from is i’m so wildly guessing about a future that does not exist yet and i cannot fathom what it would be like until i’m there. a lot of my transition has been like that but this is obviously the most significant decision i’ve confronted so far so the fact that i cant visualize it stresses me out more than usual. so like asking myself hypothetical questions doesn’t work because i truly don’t know, beyond the fact that i want a deeper voice. but what if i dont!!!!!! but at THAT point i’m definitely in the deserted island scenario where if i wasn’t around other people i would want it deeper. and that’s really the only outwardly obvious change that’s also permanent. so maybe i shouldn’t die wondering. cuz i was daydreaming abt it constantly for months then the day came to start and i got so scared suddenly and now for the past month it’s been causing me endless grief abt this thing that i want to do but also don’t want to do. but i can’t figure out what the reason for not wanting to is. if it’s fear or not wanting to. i’m rambling! thank you for answering <3

[ejnherjar]

HELLO AS PROMISED: ASK 1/???

Do you have any headcanons about Madarinniki? Or any thoughts on how they all got together?

Oh if we're doing headcanons we'd be here all day i have a LOT on a very wide variety of like. Genres of headcanons so I'll either make a separate post or im gonna need more specific questions BUT. I do have thoughts on how they all got together!!

My general favourite way to think about it is that it was the case of Rinne and Niki being in an established relationship, and as Madara spent more time with Crazy:B and subsequently rnnk, he ended up developing crushes on them both, but refused to act on any feelings beyond maybe some light playful flirting, as to not "Ruin what they already have." I think Mama was VERY supportive and wanted the best for rnnk, and didn't even acknowledge the possibility that they might like him back in any way. Little does he know that they DO like him back too...I usually tend to like thinking that Niki starts crushing first, followed by Rinne. Niki telling Rinne that he might also have feelings for Mama, and Rinne confessing that he thinks he likes Mama as well...I think they'd both try to show that to Mama subtly and drop hints, be it a little unsuccessfully because Madara cant fathom that the two are interested in him too...So after a while Niki and Rinne talk to outwardly confess to Mama individually by taking him out on a date/hangout, and tell him that they'd both be more than happy to be together with him, because yes they have eachother, but they love him too..........Mama might need some time to process the mere Concept of the fact that he can do this? Hes allowed to date both of them? They both want him? But he comes around eventually...and that's my Very long-winded thought on how i think these 3 got together. Hope everyone enjoyed

[metalsiren-a]

He's on his knees, maybe it isn't the perfect timing but he can't seem to find the patience to wait any longer. He can hear the thunderstorm raging outside and here he is, on one knee before her smiling ear to ear like the biggest idiot he knows. " Sawyer, you're going to think I am the cheesiest jackass there ever was -- but I love you. " He can feel the smirk that stretches at his lips, even here and now he cant fully process the exact emotion he wants to convey but he'll try nonetheless. " I have loved you and I don't think I'll ever stop loving you, so I ask you here and now -- if you would grant me the honor of marrying me? "

                               ——  ✞ ;  𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗦𝗧𝗢𝗥𝗠 𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗘𝗦 𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗢𝗙 𝗡𝗢𝗪𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗘.  taking  the  power  with  it  and  leaving  both  dallas  and  sawyer  to  light  candles  so  as  not  to  drain  the   batteries  on  their  phones.  some  would  view  the  amount  of  flames  present  to  be  a  hazard,  but  sawyer  sees  it  as  nothing  less  than  romantic.  like  out  of  a  movie,  she  lets  the  atmosphere  turn  to  something  comforting,  hearing  the  thunder  rolling  through  outside,  lightening  flashing  quite  soon  thereafter.  sawyer's  always  adored  storms,  found  little  fear  in  them  and  instead  let  them  soothe  her  like  a  lullaby.  dressed  in  one  of  dallas'  shirts  (  and  not  much  else  ),  hair  gathered  up  in  a  messy  bun  atop  her  head,  she  blows  out  the  match  in  her  hand  before  waving  it  a  few  times  for  extra  measure.  

                               and  thank  god  she  has. 

                               turning  around,  a  soft  hum  leaving  her  in  the  absence  of  white  noise,  sawyer  stops  dead  in  her  tracks  the  instant  she  sees  dallas  on  one  knee.  dropping  the  match,  her  body  remains  frozen  in  place,  trying  to  fully  register  exactly  what's  happening.  this  man  in  front  of  her,  this  person  who  speaks  to  her  very  soul,  saved  her  from  herself  and  helped  her  find  a  tangible  sense  of  healing  she  never  thought  she'd  accomplish,  wants  to  spend  the  rest  of  his  life  with  her.  perhaps  she  shouldn't  be  surprised  by  the  question,  but  she  can't  help  the  way  hazel  hues  brim  with  tears,  how  her  heart  swells  with  unwavering  adoration.  sawyer  is  nothing  if  not a  mess,  she  knows  that;  knows  that  she  has  so  much  to  work  on  when  it  comes  to  her  mental  stability,  her  addiction.  but  dallas  is  nothing  if  not  painfully  patient.

                               for  that,  the  answer  is  obvious,  as  there's  no  one  else  she  can  fathom  spending  the  rest  of  her  life  with.

                               one  hand  lifts  to  her  chest,  tears  falling  freely  as  she  takes  a  step  towards  him,  his  little  speech  reaching  her  heart  and  cradling  it,  just  as  he  always  does.  all  she  can  do  is  nod  a  few  times,  struggling  to  find  words  even  though  she  truly  only  needs  one  to  accept  his  offer. 

                                ❛  yes. ❜  it  leaves  her  wrapped  in  a  choke,  clearing  her  throat  before  her  lips  pull  into  the  widest,  brightest  smile  she  can  muster,  ❛  yes.  of  course  i'll  marry  you.  ❜  much  more  confidence  is  held  in  her  tone  as  she  takes  another  step  towards  him,  easily  leaning  down  to  cup  his  neck  and  steal  a  kiss,  ❛  i  love  you,  too,  dallas.  so  much.  ❜

@fuckedprophet proposes to sawyer!

[danvazini]

okay fuck this, i wasn’t gonna make a post regarding to the situation with her but it’s honestly getting out of hand. literally ignore this post if u dont care bc i’m not gonna not talk abt this —

the post is about the writer/reader @lara4eclipze who recently revealed some things regarding lying about her age, while this post isn’t to defend her actions bc trust me, i’ve been rlly fucked up behind this but that doesn’t excuse what some of these anons have said to her.

like yeah ok she lied, but that doesn’t mean tell her to kill herself or that you hope she gets sa’d.

i’m disappointed in her too, hell i’ll even say mad at her if that makes more sense but i’m not gonna sit in her face and say that to her, i told her off in a more mature way than what i wanted to do so for there to be people in her inbox saying shit like that its fucked up, so fucked up.

she’s still a kid, only a teenager. i wasn’t gonna ever say anything and let the situation die down and give her time to recover or whatever the process would be for her but you guys are srsly doing way too much.

yeah what she did was fucked up but it doesn’t need this type of reaction, its easier to just ignore and block her than to give such crazy comments.

do i support her actions? fuck no, because its dangerous and sickening but fuck its not like she was way older than what she said and praying on children, shes one herself and just lied about her age. i’m not saying thats ok, trust me i told her off in her dms but i never wished bad on this girl.

hell i feel like i cant even trust anyone anymore after this but im not gonna treat her like shes any less of a human, she obviously knows what she did was wrong and felt guilty which is why she decided to just reveal it herself instead of it all blowing up in her face bc of someone.

i don’t like what she did but i’m not gonna act like she fucking did something atrocious and disgusting and so disorienting. she just lied abt being 21 ffs. let’s not act like theres mfs in this world who hasnt done worse. — to summarize this all, if you’re going to continue telling this literal child to kill herself i promise u its easier to just block her and keep it pushing.

i can’t fathom the shit her parents would go through seeing that, and no i’m not defending this girl but i’m not gonna pretend like i never cared about her either. she’s still a human and people tend to forget that when they’re angry.

give the kid time, seriously. its sickening.

and to say i literally dont post abt shit like this is so unnecessary to say but im going to bc i literally dont give a fuck enough normally to say it but seeing it made me sick and i’m all for mental health awareness and helping people so to jst let it happen its hypocritical on my part.