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I've always had this thing where I don't like to tell people what I will do or what I want to do. I don't feel like verbally saying sorry is good enough when I say it. I want to either be able to show it in action or else whatever my word would be means nothing.. so I keep quiet more often than not about anything. However, I think that it's important to know that many things actually need to be talked about. That is part of the action. You shouldn't feel like whatever I feel. If you mean it, say it, talk about it. Talk about it. Tell them. Don't beat yourself up until there's nothing left of you.
I want to be clear that I've never held others around me to these standards I have placed on myself. I don't think that way except when it comes to myself. I dunno. That's just how it is. But people's words and communication mean so much to me.
#with my health issues#i do this so much#i feel so terrible for my body fucking up#and instead of telling people#I've gotten this thing in my head that#unless i can promise it wont happen again#i should just accept them being mad at me as if i fullt fucked up#and then just tear myself apart trying to be better and show them#but that's not good#for anyone#im always so afraid of letting people down#and my first thought is always#then dont fucking let them down#but i think i need to be a little softer too#because im the opposite with others#i dunno#my body fights for me#but it also lets me down#and i blame myself
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good morning, I'm feeling very self destructive again :/
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the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.
capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.
now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.
and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.
and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.
and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".
it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"
#this was much longer i had to cut it down for legibility#but i do want to say i am aware this post doesnt touch on human rights violations as a result of fast fashion#that is because it deserves its own post with a completely different tone#i am an environmental educator#so that's what i know the most about. it wouldn't be appropriate of me to mention off-hand the real and legitimate suffering#that people are going through#without doing my research and providing real ways to help#this is a vent post about a thing i'm watching happen; not a call to action. it would be INCREDIBLY demeaning#to all those affected by the fast fashion industry to pretend that a post like this could speak to their suffering#unfortunately one of the horrible things about latestage capitalism as an activist is that SO many things are linked to this#and i WANT to talk about all of them but it would be a book in its own right. in fact there ARE books about each level of this#and i encourage you to seek them out and read them!!! i am not an expert on that i am just a person on tumblr doing my favorite activity#(complaining)#and it's like - this is the individual versus the industry problem again right because im blaming myself#for being an expert on environmental disaster (which is fucking important) but not knowing EVERYTHING about fast fashion#i'm blaming myself for not covering the many layers of this incredibly complicated problem im pointing out#rather than being like. yeah so actually the fault here lies with the billion dollar industries actually.#my failure to be able to condense an incredibly immense problem that is BOOK-LENGTH into a single text post that i post for free#is not in ANY fucking way the same amount of harm as. you know. the ACTUAL COMPANIES doing this ACTUAL THING for ACTUAL MONEY.#anyway im gonna go donate money while i'm thinking about it. maybe you can too. we can both just agree - well i fuckin tried didn't i#which is more than their CEOs can say
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he's so petty ㅠㅠ
#kim seokjin#jin#seokjin#btsedit#btsgif#jinedit#jingif#seokjinedit#dailybts#usersky#userdimple#useremmeline#annietrack#he's such a lewserrr and I LOVE HIM#(the third gif's horrible frames... i only have myself to blame)#fiz.gif#run jin ep 3
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A flash of confidence followed by the immediate fear of ruining something dear. On the other hand, the ready reciprocation and the disillusion of a deeper meaning.
Continued
#elden ring#artists on tumblr#messmer the impaler#shadow of the erdtree#oc x canon#STOLI GET UPPPPP#please they make me sick your honor i plead not guilty by insanity#tarnished#oc#original character#hand art#pining#procreate#I listened to picture you by Chappell Roan and I had to clock in#Their early dynamic is just hideously filled with missed signals and i have nobody to blame but myself i fear#mailwives
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the older and weirder i get the more i'm beginning to realize that i was actually a very cool kid who had no shame or fear until i was taught that i'd be punished for it and everything since then has been a slow uphill battle to get that part of myself back
#🐉#like man i was so unbullyable until i let myself be bullyable#not blaming myself because i was a kid but fuck i shouldve listened to the girl who told me i needed to stop caring#about what other people thought about me and being so desperate for their attention#she meant it in a horrible way because her point was that i was inherently unlikable and should accept that#but she was technically right she just had the wrong intentions
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a glass sun 1/2
#my art#my stuff#this is really fucking long so im gonna have to break it up into multiple reblogs#(howling) WAUGHHHHHHH#i love aishang by xiaoshiguniang#i love to implicate my alma mater in my art about being gay in the shittiest most conservative corner of singaporean society#by some terrible trick of fate i ended up in the conservative chinese christian cishet circuit from primary school to end of hs#obviously i am not most of these things but there i was. Depressed#and there i was after that at Liberal Arts College. the 4 years i spent there were a clusterfuck#but like a good and outrageous and lively clusterfuck#and i graduated in may this year and when i came back it was for the first time in 10 months. it was like. what da hell#like i love being here in specific ways but there is also the pain of being seen as something you're not constantly#can i blame them? i ask myself this every day. for most of my ex classmates and relatives i Am the only not cis person they know#idk my lottery number was bad this corner of society really is that bad#and so its like. idk dawg anyway i aint offering solutions but u get it like it fucks with your head to be misgendered either which way 24/#but to leave them behind would be to leave the only people who knew me for the first 19 years behind. and thats a lot of my life#i am 23!!!!!! ough#anyway. whatever. if u liked it i have a ko-fi#reblogos appreciated
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snap out of it
#messyr#already dying hard this bermonths like cmon why does it keep striking whenever i need to be academically focused#( never was focused bc of how brain damaged i am AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH )#UGHHH.......... Can i even graduate at this rate i feel like im wasting so much and i can only blame myself#fuck this stupid brain fuck this stupid brain stupidstupid dumb dumb dmb udmbdumb dumbdumbdumb#vent art#vent post#artists on tumblr#doodle#depression
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i think more people need to realize that the circumstances of how jason todd died would make him deeply untrusting of not only other people, not only himself and his own instincts, but specifically other people's proclamations of what they feel about/for him and how he reacts to that in turn
#personal#jason todd#like personally if a major formative moment in my life was trusting someone when they said they cared about me#and taking them at their word on an important topic#only for them to be flat out lying and then say that it's MY fault for trusting them in the first place#which then leads into a series of events that are both physically and mentally incredibly traumatic#i'm not trusting anyone who says anything about how they feel about me ever again#and i'm not trusting my own reactions or my own instincts in response to people either#(also god i forgot what a victim blaming BITCH sheila haywood was i hate dc retconning aditf to try and make it jason's fault)#anyway i'm done batman posting for the day or i'm gonna start pissing myself off
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???: "Of course! That's why Ratio's betrayal was one of the keys to your plan. I have to say, that doctor's acting was superb."
Aventurine:
(idk what story part this is from, but I have screenshots).
#me when I go crazy over “haha yeah but like does he actually hate me unironically? I'd hate myself too haha i don't blame him”#hsr#honkai star rail#hsr aventurine#aventurine#aventurine honkai star rail#AGH YOU DON't understand... i love aventurine so much.#RRRGHHHH#hsr spoilers
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There's alot of terfs posing as transmascs in the transmasc tags rn, so i just wanna make it clear to those who follow me: - Yes transmascs have transmasc specific issues - No that does not mean we are inherently more oppressed than transfems - Yes we deserve to have a term for it for ease of discussion - No it does not oppress anyone to have such a term - Yes, alot of people have flawed views on transmasc issues - No, this is not the fault of transfems Now more than ever we need to uplift ourselves and our fellow siblings with "out-of-the-norm" gender identities. Please Please Please be wary of posts making generalizations like "Transfems dont want us to have-" "Transmascs are just taking away from-" Thats just bait trying to pit us against eachother, please block people like this.
Minors/Younger Trans people especially, please know, our enemy and oppressors are not eachother! Think long and hard about who exactly benefits when we spend our time hurting eachother instead of lifting eachother up and fighting as a united group.
#transmasc#transandrophobia#trans solidarity#i hope i worded that well#im really tired of having to defend myself#and im really tired of seeing other trans people blaming eachother for our own issues#even in the positivity tags i see people bashing on the “other”#like do you know what you sound like?#being trans doesnt exempt you from being transphobic
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🐖
#JAIL to whoever put that pig in front of aemond#cant blame lucerys i wouldnt have been able to help myself either#house of the dragon#hotd#aemond targaryen#lucerys velaryon#alicent targaryen#targaryensource#gameofthronesdaily#hotdedit#welighttheway#aemondtargaryensource#alicenthightowerdaily#aliciagifs
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been busy in the skies!
#recently picked up sky:cotl again#and boy have i fallen deep#i played it awhile ago before the new home area (around 2 yrs ago)#but i unfortunately fell out of it due to loss of hyperfix + my switch#but ive gotten back into it via my husband :3 he is to blame#sooo expect some sky content for awhile#first guy is an oc and the second is a sona#and third one is a ref for a friend#fourth is a shitpost . no context ilaw lore if you can decipher it#i love inserting myself into games i like#and making broody assholes<3#sky cotl#sky children of the light#sky#sky:cotl#sky: cotl#gay bird (ilaw)
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Danny was...unnerved, which is unusual considering his upbringing as the child of mad scientists obsessed with the undead.
It had been a few weeks since he had moved into Wayne manor after a conflict between batman and his parents, which led to his home and his friends and family being blown up in a lab malfunction. Most of Amity Park was destroyed in the blasts, including Vlad and his mansion.
Usually Danny would be more suspicious of super rich dudes, but the sorrow in Bruce Wayne's eyes as he pleaded to let Danny take him in was genuine and well, Danny didn't exactly have anywhere else to go. Plus, Bruce looked weirdly guilty when danny told him none of this was his fault, which was weird. Jazz was in college and always looked exhausted on video calls, so he didn't want to bother her there.
The part that bothered him most wasn't that there was anything dangerous or bad happening, but rather the opposite.
Danny was used to dodging his home security system when it randomly targeted him. He was used to ghosts popping up out of nowhere to suckerpunch him. He was used to danger.
And now that there was none, he was jumping at shadows.
Things got better when he met Psaro. He was in the process of being either mugged or kidnapped, he wasn't sure, when this angry goth teen with silver hair and ruby eyes literally came in swinging a steel chair. After the beat down and subsequent rescue, Danny offered to buy them some food. Psaro tried to reject the offer until his stomach suddenly growled, making him blush, and Danny dragged the older goth teen to a restaurant.
They've been best friends since. Psaro later introduced him to his friends Rose and Toilen, explaining that they weren't from this world and that Rose was an elf and Toilen was a Teran from a planet called Terrestria. Danny assumed that Psaro was an elf like Rose due to them both having long pointed ears and mostly focused on Toilen thanks to the "other planet" bit.
Meanwhile, the bats have been keeping an eye out on Danny (aka stalking him) and his new, obviously magical friends.
#dpxdc#prompts#dragon quest#dragon quest monsters#fanfiction prompts#danny fenton#danny phantom#batman#bruce wayne#bruce has regrets and blames himself for the death of dannys loved ones#psaro the manslayer#was anyone going to tell me that Psaros last name is apparently Banesword or was i supposed to read that online myself#the hero and his party are still wanting to murder our little pouty goth baby and i will not stand for it#the bats see how paranoid danny is and heard him talking about the nightmare security system and all that so theyre overprotective of him#them finding out Psaro is a teenage demon lord either isnt going to go over well or he gets adopted
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saying shit like “it’s on you women for stanning boy groups” is not helping and you are putting blame on women who had NO IDEA that this man was awful how are they supposed to know??
#like sure we are careful#but i say it for myself i am not gonna go around#and think everyone is a criminal??#like that doesn’t even make sense#there was no way of knowing any of this#his public persona did not let us know he was a piece of shit#SO HOW WERE SUPPOSED TO KNOW??#blaming his fans who were women for something they have no control over#is just honestly vile i need you people to stfu rn#tris.txt
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"Your heart was in the right place. Don't blame your earnestness and efforts for their lack of understanding—the right people will appreciate your heart."
EDIT: i mention this in the tags already, but please don't copy my vent tags in your reblogs. thanks for understanding.
#fnaf eclipse#fnaf dca#dca fandom#crab art#traditional art#bright colours#self-insert#my OC Esther#nearly didn't colour this because i was really happy with the lines#but i'm glad i did#please don't copy these tags i'm just going to vent a bit#sigh i've been really feeling it lately#just very discouraged when my efforts to help are dismissed#i know i'm a people pleaser and i just want people to like me#but like#sometimes we just don't click#and it's not worth trying to work myself to the bone to convince people to give me a chance#and it's not fair to blame myself for the friendships that never came to be#they're on their own journey and i'm simply not a part of that journey#just as they are not a part of mine#and that's fine#it's easy to forget when we can connect with so many people online#that we have a limit to how many quality relationships we can realistically maintain#what does it matter if you have so many friends who “like” you#but have no one close enough for you to be open and honest with?#so i will save my heart for those who appreciate it#for friends who will celebrate with me as i celebrate their achievements#who i feel comfortable enough with sharing our troubles and sorrows and supporting each other through it#those are the friends who are worth my heart
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