#and i am so so so so soft for usopp x transfem!sanji

[beanghostprincess]

Love the concept of Usopp falling for Transfem!Sanji but all of his attempts at flirting end up just being cute and making sanji laugh (genuinely laugh. A sweet laughter. She's head over heels for him too btw) but he wants it to be sexy. He wants to turn her on, or, whatever. But whenever he tries to be sexy he ends up failing miserably because he forces it to be extremely normative (exercising shirtless type of sexy. Don't take advice from Zoro) instead of just being himself. And as I said, he takes advice from fucking mosshead so of course he isn't going to look the type of sexy Sanji likes.

Nami has to physically drag Usopp to the girls room with Robin so she can call him thousands of insults before actually telling him that he's acting like a fucking idiot. That Sanji likes him back already. So Usopp is like, all hopeful and happy and says: "Oh! So you're telling me to just be myself?! :D"

To what Nami replies with the scariest most intimidating evil laughter in the whole universe: "Oh, no. Darling. No. You have no fucking idea what women like, do you?"

He's pretty much scared.

But Nami and Robin end up telling him the secrets of womanhood or, well, what they personally like. And Nami doesn't even like men, but she knows how to read a room and manipulate other girls with men and also, she's a lesbian. She knows what women like. She likes women. Women like her. She's the best person for this job. And also Robin because she's older and wiser.

And also, they share a room with Sanji. They talk at night. They know what she likes.

So they tell Usopp about hands. About how crazy Usopp's hands drive her while he works and that he should use them to his advantage (put a hand on her thigh casually while they talk, brush their hands together more often, tuck her hair behind her air sometimes, show her some of his inventions with his hands pretty much being the main focus, etc). Basically, they tell him to sexualize his hands as much as possible because everyone fucking knows Sanji has a thing for that. And Robin can confirm girls like that because every time she sees Franky build something it makes her knees weak (she says this in a very weird and off putting tone so Usopp isn't sure if 'making her knees weak' is some kind of euphemism for darker, more intimate things he is not ready to hear).

Then the hair. Nami is always saying Usopp's hair is spectacular, but also, that Sanji goes insane whenever she sees Usopp first thing in the morning. Messy, undone hair and everything. So the navigator insists on him being a bit more careless with it. Not caring that much about ponytails or buns unless he makes them look really good and intentionally messy.

He has to forget about the whole 'shirtless exercisisng' thing because that's Zoro's way of being a gym bro and attracting their captain (and it only works because he's already dating Luffy and Luffy enjoys seeing his boyfriend doing whatever) and instead focus on being casually shirtless. And it's not like Nami supports the massive whores this ship has because she's exhausted of men being so disgusting around here, but if it's to help them out (she only wants them to stop pining because it's annoying) she will let Usopp walk around the place without a shirt on (as if he didn't do it already but, y'know, this time is obvious he does it intentionally).

Robin then says something about Sanji liking dominant guys, which, well- It's a thing Usopp already knew because it's not hard to tell. But also the archeologist mentions that he should act more confident around Sanji. Be less anxious (as if it were easy, btw) because he has absolutely nothing to worry about. She won't fall out of love, seriously, she's too down bad to get up at this point and the worst thing that can happen is Usopp looking cringey. But confidence looks good on him! So he needs to do all these things without it being obvious that he's trying to be sexy.

Basically, they end up telling him a few more things that girls like Sanji love in men, and Usopp realizes that it's not actually changing himself but accentuating his personality to a bit of an extreme sometimes to get Sanji focus on him.

And it works. it- It surprisingly works???? What the fuck.

Because Usopp does everything Nami and Robin told him. He touches Sanji more. He runs his hands through her arms and thighs slightly and casually when they talk and it makes Sanji cough and blush and needing a moment of silence to continue speaking. He works in the kitchen and specifically build things that need a constant use of hands. He lets his hair undone all day long or only wears messy buns, and he doesn't say anything if he catches Sanji bleeding or fainting (he really, really wants to go help but he knows it would only makes things worse so he lets Chopper take care of it). He doesn't wear t-shirts anymore (he didn't already, but now it's different) and casually stretches or rests his elbows on the ship and makes poses when Sanji is looking. He starts to talk more in a more confident manner. Voice deeper. Words clearer. Once, he even places himself behind Sanji while she's cooking and tries to grab something from the top shelf of the kitchen, resting his hand on her hip for a long second. It drives her wild. To be honest, Usopp didn't even do that on purpose but Nami congratulated him on that one, and he couldn't just say it had happened naturally.

Sanji is a mess, btw. Her food is still perfect and she fights normally but whenever they're not doing anything important she seems lost in thought and the whole crew is so done with her and Usopp. She doesn't even want to fight Zoro anymore and it frustrates the swordsman because their lil arguments and fights are kind of a thing between them and it's ruining his daily schedule!!! Usopp is going to be the death of her, honestly, and Zoro is then going to kill Usopp for that (me and my beautiful love for platonic Zosan).

But neither of them does anything or makes the first move because they're stupid and deep inside they're shy and they're used to being pining idiots.

Then, Usopp takes all this flirting thing a bit too seriously. Because he is stupid and fears that if he stops, Sanji will lose interest in him. So even if it's raining or snowing, he's shirtless. He says it's that a confident man like him doesn't need clothes to be warm, only Sanji's beauty (or something like that, he said). But even Franky is wearing a jacket, so... Also, he tries so hard to accentuate his hands movements when he works that he doesn't get the job done most of the time. And his hair keeps getting in the way and bothering him while he fights. It's a mess.

And Sanji notices because she might be extremely turned on by him but she's not that oblivious.

So one night she sees Usopp fucking freezing because they're close to a winter island and he refuses to dress properly. At least his hair keeps him warm, sort of, but he can't work like this, either. Sanji rolls her eyes and just approaches him without saying a word, throws him a sweater, wraps him in a blanket, and before Usopp can say anything, Sanji starts to tie his hair up into his usual ponytail. Usopp refuses and keeps saying that he doesn't need this! That he's God Usopp and can handle a little but of cold! But he doesn't stop her from doing all of these things, in the end.

Sanji only laughs and gets a hold of Usopp's hands to warm them up, sitting next to him. She breathes against them and now it's Usopp's time to blush uncontrollably. Sanji looks up from there. "You're a moron, you know? You don't need to do all of this."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Blatant lie.

The cook keeps holding his hands but rests her head on Usopp's shoulders, cuddling against him. "You look really handsome with your hair tied up."

"Uh? I- Thank y-"

"And I love your hands, but if you don't take more care of them I'm going to kick your ass. And also, if you get sick and affects our adventures and your sexy voice I will end you."

"Sexy what-"

"I like it when you blush and stutter and are anxious about every little thing, too."

So Usopp squeezes Sanji's hands back (after a whole long second of analyzing what the other just said) and lets himself rest against her, her undone hair falling over his shoulder and her perfectly polished nails brushing his skin. She smells sweeter than usual. Like chocolate. And even if it's cold, she needs to wrap herself in the blanket too because she's wearing a short dress.

Perhaps Usopp hasn't been the only one trying hard to accentuate his good traits. And God, Usopp loves her even more every day.

The sniper tries to be confident and wrap an arm around her shoulders, but he hesitates, and that same second, Sanji is the one to guide it around her body.

And Usopp is nervous and blushing and Sanji's kicking her feet under the blanket. And it's extremely messy. And perfect. It's always perfect.