#and i am going Insane. i need someone to be awake so i can speak my thoughts at them.

[euclydya]

ok truly everyone here needs an Emotional Support Bastard to be awake at all times so literally Nobody Is Upfront Alone In Any Way

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Sleepless

a/n absolutely self indulgent because no joke I woke up last night from the most insane nightmare and the first thing I called out to was Simon so here's some fever dream goodness for you. ✨🫴🏼

summary: Simon comfort reader after a nightmare.

warning: nightmares lol

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It was a strange feeling to be the victim of your mind. You could go out there on the battlefield and turn it all off. You could be fearless and deadly. Many shivered when they walked by. You could turn it off. Could pull on a mask and be someone you failed to recognize. But at night, when you were back at the safety of the base and no specific tasks kept you awake, you felt so helpless that you wanted to weep.

Sure, almost everyone had nightmares. Yes, they weren't real. A mix of subconsciously selected images. But there was just something so specific about them. It was so painful, real, and raw that it had you waking up night after night with a rapidly beating heart. Or even worse, covered in sweat as you jolted up with a scream. Those nights were the hardest because you weren't able to find sleep again. Every shadow seemed to be hunting you. Every sound made you flinch as you counted the moments till sunrise.

"Sugar?", your name being called out made you blink a couple of times. Right, shit, a debrief. You quickly scanned the room. All eyes were on you. You needed to come up with something. Something that would land regardless. "We can always just try what most of the team believes is the right...", you started, "What most team believes about barbecue? Right boys, what's your thoughts on grilled sausages?" Price called out, earning a handful of chuckles. A barbecue? Had you been that out of it? This was supposed to be a debrief for the last mission...

"The only flaw was the way we entered. He wants to try to regroup". Ghost's low voice rang from beside you. "Price's wife is celebrating her birthday this weekend and wants us over for a barbecue." You turned your head toward him slightly. His arms were crossed over his chest, his head facing forward towards the team, but because of the mask, it was impossible to see him speaking. "Thank you," you muttered back, running a hand over your face. "You're sick or something?", Ghost asked once again. Maybe you were just imagining him speaking. A man never spoke that much. "Maybe you should go to the medical bay," he suggested, and you shook your head. "Nothing a couple of hours of sleep can't fix," you gave Simon a tight smile as you pulled back from the wall you two had been standing by. Just before you could fully step away from his reach, Ghost swiftly wrapped his palm around your upper arm. "You don't have to tell me, but at least talk to one of the boys. Johnny might...", but you cut him off by placing your hand over his chest, "I'm fine, Ghost, nothing happened." His eyes told you that he didn't believe a word you said but admitting that you struggled to sleep and even more so avoided sleeping because of the nightmares, no... That made you feel too childish.

But Simon wasn't stupid. He had an eye for little things. Little changes. Little energy waves, if you will. And everything about you has been screaming wrong for weeks now. You two weren't together, but he always treated you differently. Not because you were a female. No. Just because you respected his boundaries. Respected his privacy. Ghost still remembered that one night when he was enjoying his two-am tea and you stumbled into the kitchen. A long shirt was the only thing on your body. He had been in a particularly broody mood that night, so even when you asked him a couple of questions, he simply stared at you and said nothing. He was waiting for you to roll your eyes or call him an asshole. But instead, you smiled and started explaining to him how you enjoyed your instant ramen. Without realizing it, Simon found himself smiling beneath his mask. You were babbling about how Price would kill you if he saw the amount of cheese you put in your bowl. "You will not turn me in, right?", you had asked, a handful of shredded cheese in your hand. Simon had simply tilted his head to the side, and you had taken it as a yes, shoving the cheese in your mouth as you giggled.

That side of you had been long gone. Your face has grown slightly ashy. Your eyes were dull. You could barely keep up with a conversation. Yes, you still managed to perform amazingly during missions, but they chipped at the last bits of your strength, and it showed.

If Simon was being honest, he knew what this was about. Your room was next to his on the base, and the walls weren't particularly thick. So it was almost a nightly thing. He just laid there, listening to you whimper. Panting once you were lucky enough to claw yourself out of the nightmare.

He had wanted to come knocking more than once. He almost always found himself with a hand on the doorknob, but he always stopped. Because who was he to comfort someone? He wasn't a big teddy bear. No, Ghost was a man with a past just as brutal and controlling. One that also hunted him from time to time.

Just tonight, it all seemed ten times worse. Simon tried to occupy himself with a handful of paperwork and reports he had to finalize, but your bed was right by the wall where his desk was. Every turn. Every rustle of the sheets. The uneven breathing. Simon gripped his pen tighter. But then, as silent as a wind, a light, "Please," cut through the silence. Simon stared at the wall ahead of him. It was as if the words were engraved on it. Telling himself over and over that he didn't need to get involved. This wasn't his business. He didn't have the right to just walk in. That he...

Ghost pushed back, the chair scraped against the wooden floor. Three long strides, and he was out of his room. Another three to get to your door. It took him a heartbeat to press the door handle down. He wasn't prepared to see your sprawled-out form. The sheets were now mostly laying on the floor. Your scrunched-up face. Hands digging into the mattress. That broke something deep within Simon.

He moved quietly, not wanting to startle you, and just as much, hoping that you would wake up on your own. But your body twisted and turned. The skin growing clammy. It was one of the longest nightmares you had ever had. Not that he was counting, but from the nights he had heard you, this seemed one of the worst. Ghost's mind blanked as he sat on the edge of the bed. What had his mother once said? Shake to wake up, or try to gently pull someone back. No one played nice in the army. You either took it or you ate shit. But still, Simon's cracked and scared hands carefully moved to run up and down your hand.

Another cry slipped past your lips. Simon wished he could kill the person holding you hostage in your sleep. "It's okay," he muttered, trying to remember what comforting someone even felt like. The words felt strange on his lips. "Sug, wake up; it's just a dream," he muttered, pressing slightly deeper into your skin. But it was nothing. Your sweat-soaked face was now covered by stands of hair that had awkwardly stuck all over, but Simon didn't care. He had been in this same place way too many times.

"Y/N," he breathed, moving to clasp your face between his palms, stopping your movement. A breath. One. Two. Your eyes snapped open. A painful inhale pierces your lungs. Hands coming up to grasp Ghost's wrist as your nails dug into his skin. Yet in all of that, it was your frightened eyes that hurt Simon the most. Eyes that now looked so helpless. So desperate. So lost. So in need.

"Simon," you muttered as one wave of panic got overridden by another. "I mean, lieutenant," you muttered, and Ghost couldn't help but roll his eyes, "Seriously? Now of all times, you decide to call me lieutenant." You never addressed him like that. Unless you were pissed off at him and Simon highly doubted, that was the case now.

"I'm sorry," you muttered, brushing your hands through your damp hair. "Did I wake you? Fuck, I'm...", but Simon didn't seem to listen as he leaned over to unlace his boots. Your shivering frame unsettled him. And maybe it was his primal need to protect all women who had ever been in harm's way. Or maybe it was that stupid warm feeling that flared when he was next to you, but when Simon looked at you once again, he simply motioned for you to scoot over.

"What are you..." you muttered in confusion. "You are still shaking, and that looked like one fucked nightmare," Ghost said bluntly as he slowly got comfortable in your bed. You knew that he was a kindhearted person under that cold mask, but this. You were convinced you ground his gears, and now... "You don't fancy lying down?", he asked, almost in a teasing way, making you blink again. You could still feel the aftermath of your dream. Pumping through your veins.

Maybe this was a dream too. Was there a way to fall from one dream to another? But then the same flickering images of the dream you just had came flooding back. One breath . Another. Your hands instantly reached for the man lying not far from you. Were there rules? Things you shouldn't do? You didn't seem to care as you snaked your hands around his neck, pressing yourself closer to him. His warmth seeped through your skin. The rapid heart was now beating against a much steadier chest. "Simon," you muttered. And you knew that he hated it when people called out his name like that. He hated when they dug his identity to the surface, but you needed him. You needed Simon, not Ghost, not your LT.

"Right here, doll," he breathed. "Simon," you muttered once more. His hands had now matched yours; they had just found shelter against your hips. Rubbing slow circles there. "Please," you breathed out. Not sure as to what you were calling out for, but knowing real well that Simon was the realest thing in your universe now. "I've got you, ya? I'm holding you right now. Whoever chased you in your sleep won't get to you now", Ghost said firmly, "I won't let them."

You sighed again on his shoulders, holding him as tightly as you possibly could. "What do you need, Sug?", Simon asked in a much calmer tone now. "Talk to me," you muttered. "Just..."—you almost didn't know how to explain it. Your mind was still holding you hostage. You needed new images. New stories to fill your senses. Draw up new patterns. And Ghost surprisingly didn't miss a beat: "You know Johnny was trying to convince me today that microwaving water is a way of making tea." You lifted your head off Simon's shoulder, leaning back slightly to catch his gaze. "I know; I looked at him the way you are looking at me now," Ghost stated with a huff. "I told him that fuck his war crimes, his soul is going to hell for that alone," Simon added with a shake of his head, and you felt your lips tugging upwards slightly until a light chuckle slipped past them.

"I'm glad you find it funny because I saw it as a disgrace to England itself." His accent thickened, and you could almost hear the smile on his lips as he spoke. You chuckled slightly. "He is a disgrace to this team," you said with a serious look on your face, and Simon was quite the match. "I'll talk to Price in the morning. We'll send him to Neverland." Cackling, you leaned against Simon's chest; his much bigger palms quickly moved to run up and down your back.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" he asked after a moment of silence, but you quickly shook your head. The last thing you needed was to go back. You felt Ghost nodding slightly, "We can talk when you want," his fingers reaching up to comb your hair. "For now, you are safe. I will always keep you safe". The last word came out more like a whisper, but you still caught on to it.

"Simon," you muttered, earning a hum in return,"If you... could you stay?" You were so glad your room was only dimly lit because your cheeks felt as if they were on fire. Ghost let out a slight chuckle. "Does it look to you as if I'm about to go?", he questioned your statement in an almost self-explanatory manner, "Way too comfortable to move now, love." His arms held onto you just a bit tighter, and you didn't skip a beat to do the same. "Thank you," you said softly, knowing that this deserved way more and better words. "Say less; you know I've got you," Simon pressed a tender kiss on your hair, "Now sleep." Reaching to the side, he pulled the blanket over the two of you. "Can you play with my hair?", you said through a yawn. "Already so fucking demanding," Simon chuckled, yet his fingers threaded through your hair straight away.

[baldval]

ART DECO PART 2!₊˚⊹♡

characters: valentino x gn!reader

wc: 1.7k

warnings: cursing, canon!valentino (he doesn't mind vox's bad actions towards other people), insanely angsty.

series masterlist!

You're half awake and disorientated. Valentino got up to find out who was at the door 10 minutes ago, and frankly, you're getting worried.

Against your better judgement, you throw on his shirt from the night before and make your way out of the bedroom.

You enter the living room to be met face to face with Vox.

Shit.

You briefly wonder if you can play it off, fabricate a story, tell him it's not what it looks like!

Apart from, it's exactly what it looks like.

Someone from Vox's assistance team saw you and Val enter his room together after the meeting. And now you're here, in his living room, wearing nothing but his shirt. And your shoes are by the front door. And there's a wine glass abandoned on the counter.

There's no getting out of this one.

Valentino wants to scream, yell at you to go back to his room. He wants to pick you up and throw you out of sight, praying Vox hasn't noticed all the tell tale signs. But it's too late. He has.

"Okay. Uh - what the fuck is going on?"

Vox asks the question while looking between the two of you like some sort of cartoon character doing a double take. It doesn't require a genius to figure it out, but he needs to hear one of you say it out loud.

"Listen, Vox-"

"Vox, don't get mad-"

You both speak at the same time, verbally tripping over each other. You've never actually discussed what you'd do or say if you got found out. You both just always naively assumed it wouldn't happen.

You sit down on the edge of the couch, and look at your boss earnestly.

You had earned his respect with all the years you'd been working for him, creating and animating shows for the Vees.

However, you knew it could all disappear.

It would be a lie to say you didn't see it coming, what was true is that you weren't ready for it.

"Vox, I'm not going to sit here and lie to you. It isn't fair. But you can't get mad when I tell you the truth."

"I'll be the judge of that," he mutters sassily.

"Will you come and sit with me, please? The standing is making me nervous. I feel like I'm on trial."

"You might be. I haven't decided yet."

You can't tell if he's joking. He's certainly not smiling.

Vox moves to sit down next you. Val follows, perching himself on the opposite end to give you space. Close enough if you need him, far enough that it won't upset your boss more.

"Start talking," he commands, still confused.

"It's... well I - we - me and Valentino, we're -"

"Together," Val finishes for you. Vox glares at him, and he decides he'll keep his mouth shut for a while.

"Yeah, we're together," you continue. "We have been for over a year. It isn't just sex, or anything. I'm like- in love with him."

It's weird to finally bear this truth after keeping it a secret for so long. It feels wrong, but also refreshing - like a bitter lemon on a hot day.

Vox is scarily silent.

"You're... kidding, right?" he asks, finally breaking through the quiet.

Your silence is enough answer for you as he looks at you incredulously.

"You're so fuckin' naive." He turns over to Valentino. "How can you sit here and act like this doesn't change anything?"

Val tries to speak, but he continues.

"You lied to me, first off. Both of you. For God knows how long-"

"Vox-"

"Let me fucking finish."

You shrink back into the couch, hoping it would swallow you.

"You both lied to me. You broke my trust... and uh, that fucking hurts, actually. And then there's the business side of things. They work for me, they work for the Vees. And, I don't know if you remember, but you are a Vee. That's a conflict of interest."

Val scoffs at him, but then realises he's deadly serious.

"... A conflict of interest?"

"It's against company policy. How am I going to trust you? How is anyone? Information might get leaked. What if I tell you something, and then you tell them?" He points over to you. "And then they tell whoever friends they have, and they post about it on social media, and all of a sudden nothing is private anymore. I. Can't. Trust. You."

Tears are welling up in your eyes quicker than you can control. You're trying to take deep breaths, begging yourself not to cry in front of Vox.

"You do get this is my life right? I get to choose whoever I date," Val whispers.

"Yeah? Well, it's my life. And they're MY worker. And I get to choose whatever I'll do to them."

A choked sob escapes you, and the floodgates open. Fresh, hot tears sprint down your cheeks, landing in your lap.

Vox doesn't care about your suffering, he just wants to punish Valentino through you.

Val can't stand to sit and watch any longer.

"Okay, Vox, that's enough. This isn't fair."

"What's not fair is that two of people I trust the most both lying to my face for a year. That's what isn't fucking fair."

With that, Vox stands up and strides towards the front door, slamming it behind him as he leaves. The minute he's gone, Valentino is wrapping his arms around you, pulling you into his chest.

"It's okay, darling," he murmurs, stroking your hair. "He'll come around. We'll be okay. If we stick together, we'll be okay."

His reassurances are only making you cry harder, sobs escaping you uncontrollably. You eventually exhaust yourself, falling into a restless sleep in Val's arms on the couch.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

You wake up in bed. You've temporarily forgotten the events of the morning, before it all comes crashing back down around you suddenly. Distantly, you can hear Valentino in the kitchen, talking on the phone. You look around the room, and know what you have to do.

You leave the bedroom with a bag in hand, throwing it onto the ground as you grab your shoes. Val clocks you, and hangs up the phone.

"Can I call you back? Thanks. I'll see you tomorrow."

He runs over to where you're slipping your heels on, precariously balanced against the side of the couch.

"Honey, where are you going?" he questions, panic washing over him at your frantic state. "Wait, have you packed a bag?"

He's trying to catch your eyes, but you keep looking away, desperate to avoid his unrelenting gaze.

"I'm going home."

A pause.

"... This is your home."

You knew he'd say that. It hurts just the same.

"No, Valentino, this is your home. My apartment is across town."

"You haven't been there in months. All your stuff is here. Baby, talk to me. What's going on? Did Vox get in your head?"

"He has a point!" you shout, trying to pick up your bag. Val gets there first and grabs it, flinging it behind him, out of your reach.

"About what? He's just in shock, baby! He's confused and he feels betrayed. You don't owe him fuckin' anything. Not after everything that he has put you through."

"But I love my job, Val. I can't lose everything I've worked so hard to achieve!"

"You love that piece of shit job? Yesterday you literally had to get up at 6 am just to get here and get yelled at for an hour and a half. Look- I love Vox but he's not a good boss. Hell! I don't even care about that, I just can't stand to see him abuse you and treat you like you're close to nothing. You're better off without him and you know it. You're just too attatched to what you have."

Subconsciously, you know he's right. You're trying to convince yourself he isn't.

"You don't get it though."

"Except I do. Do you think I don't know about Vox's methods? I understand that it's what he needs to do to get the job done, but... I just can't stand him treating you like that."

"You heard what he said! He won't trust you anymore. No one will. Besides, I know it's shitty, but my job is important to me. I can't be forgotten. Known only as an old failed artist."

"Trust me, honey, you're the least likely to be named a failure."

"That's not the point! You're not listening to me. I come from the bottom, I've had to fight for respect every fucking day of my life. I'm finally where I deserve to be. I can't throw it all away for... for love!"

Valentino flinches like you've punched him in the gut. He takes a step back and leans against the kitchen island, trying to keep his balance.

"What happened to 'you and me against the world', huh?" he murmurs.

"I think I got too wrapped up in this - in us. I was stupid to think it could work. We both were."

"I wasn't," he replies defiantly. "I knew exactly what I was getting into. I knew it would be really fucking difficult and I loved you anyway."

"I'm not sorry for loving you," you whisper. "I'm sorry for a lot of things, but never for loving you."

"If you meant that, you wouldn't be giving up."

You turn your head around, unable to look at him any longer.

"This isn't giving up. This is... quitting while we're ahead. If we keep going, we'll just end up having a huge, horrible, public breakup," you stop, and take a deep breath. "I think we were always doomed to fail."

Valentino thinks about the diamond ring that sits in a box in the top drawer of his nightstand. Doomed to fail.

You finally look up at him, and all the air leaves your lungs. You've never seen him look so defeated, so vulnerable. You're the cause of this. And you hate yourself for it.

You pad across the kitchen and pick up your bag from where he threw it, before stopping in front of him.

"I don't regret you, Valentino. I never will."

With that, you stride out of the front door, closing it gently behind you. Val is left, cold and empty, in a room that no longer feels like home.

[jordynbreeloa777]

“Let go” ENDGAME VOID CHALLENGE. (Part 2, for visual people.)

This is a part 2 for the people inboxing me saying they’re more of a visual person so here is a more IN DEPTH version. If you still don’t understand please let me know!

{ This NEW VOID CHALLENGE MADE BY ME , IS TO ENTER THE VOID STATE!⚠️‼️ }

Step 1 : DECISION

How this challenge works is FIRST you have to choose if you are going to enter wide awake, or wake up in!

Step 2: 🌹 Once you have choose, I want you to robotically affirm and get into the state every single day of someone who always enters/wakes up in the void aware with ease. For example I will be choosing to wake up in since I entered successfully that way before aware, but forgot to affirm for my desires!

Step 2: 🌹Robotically affirming, and get into the state. Whenever you get a chance, you don’t have to set a timer of do a counter app. Just let your thoughts run on a loop in your free time! Some affs I recommend (that I use for entering awake is) I always enter the void with ease under 3 seconds. I always enter the void on my command. I always am aware and remember my purpose for the void. (waking up in) I always wake up in the void state aware. It is so easy for me to wake up in the void aware, I do it all the time! Every time I fall asleep I instantly wake up in the void! How to get in the state is so simple, just embody the feeling of the person who knows they always enter the void state successfully on the first try. (Don’t get discouraged if you don’t failure doesn’t exist in your reality so don’t make that an option, it’s not hard AT ALL, unless you assume so)

{ If you are more a visual person, you can imagine yourself with all your desires that you manifested in the void (already done LOA speaking) or imagine you getting into the void and manifesting your desires, or your list, something of that nature whatever you may be manifesting! Or say you are shifting visualize what you want to see when you wake up, or in your DR! }

{As well as if robotically affirming isn’t your thing fullfil yourself in imagination, not saying by forcing yourself with your 5 senses} But know that your someone who has the mental mentality that it’s not difficult at all to enter! }

Pointers: If you are waking up in the void, you can do lullaby method/SATS or just command your subconscious before falling asleep!

Step 3: 🌹Vaunt at least twice a day, in your head or whenever you want. Vaunt to yourself or imagine you telling somebody how you entered the void and manifested your dream life months ago, or vaunt that the void state is soo easy to enter and that you don’t understand why people find it hard, and that its the easiest thing in the world to do ever! Really saturate your mind and it will feel more natural, I promise. The void is not something outside of you, it’s not some magical place where you manifest instantly, remember YOU ARE THE ONE WHO EVEN CREATED THE VOID. YOU MANIFEST YOURSELF NOT, “I RECEIVED THIS FROM THE VOID” NO. YOU MANIFESTED YOURSELF.

Step 4: 🌹 Enter/Wake up in. If you fail you clearly know that it’s all based off your assumptions, especially if you’re trying for the first time. Don’t make failure an option to exist for someone who controls everything. There is no “deadline” of when you need to get into the void, or set time or date, no. You manifest/enter whenever you want because you’re such a master manifestor it’s crazy..like insane!

I will be trying this challenge as well, have fun and Happy Manifesting!💝💝

[girlrachael]

Dystopian Cass and Hoddi save Dystopian Tap - 2.4k fic

Business has been a little slow lately, the only things that were truly interesting about this mundane life is when the precious little bun-bun of an employee and my business partner Hoddi are in the building. I have known Hoddi a very long time before we both met our bun-bun employee. But Tap walked into our lives, more liked crashing but I digress, and fit in like a glove. Although it took a bit for that to cement in Tap’s mind. And speaking of me and Hoddi’s little bun-bun she was due back any minute now. And if she couldn’t make it on time she would check in saying that she would be late and then give an estimated time on when she would arrive. And if even that fails Hoddi has safety trackers to see where Tap is and whether or not Tap is in true need of our help. Tap also has a panic button that goes off if she presses it as well as goes off if it’s destroyed.

Getting off topic, without them both around the world would seem to go by in a crawl, and it doesn’t help that I’m on this weird version of constant life support, not for a lack of trying on Hoddi and Tap’s parts, this body and my A.I. just take way too much power to operate properly these days compared to the new and improved A.I.’s up in the good parts of town. It just mainly means that I can’t really go anywhere, but when the both of them are here it’s not so suffocating anymore. And while the so-called new and improved A.I.'s were reduced to mere servants by the alleged high classes of the world, I was one of (if not the only one) the lucky A.I.’s that was able to get away from the scientists and leaders of our world after they decided that A.I.’s were getting too powerful and that they needed to take back some upgrades to keep the new A.I.’s under their thumbs. 

The only caveat against my lucky getaway was that I needed way too much power to remain awake and functioning, and in the middle of me starting to shut down for who knows how long and possibly for good while running away I had a true stroke of luck.

I met Hoddi. 

As for the reason why I was running away in the first place, I~ am one of, if not the only one left, of the most advanced models the world had ever seen before the scientists' little purge, and part of the reason of why the purge even started was because my particular model of A.I. had this nifty little ability to hijack nearby fellow A.I.’s and control them. It was meant to be a power for the good of their high and mighty society, like a robot that can run a bunch of stores so the people wouldn’t have to lift their fingers anymore than they already have to. 

As to the reason why this great idea didn’t work? There was a little incident that totally~ wasn’t my fault. It’s not like I semi started the rebellion of robots against the people of high town because I didn’t want to be forced to cater to someone’s every whim. 

But to even do something like that anymore the power upkeep I would need is absolutely insane, and with how I need to keep hidden for no particular reason at all, I can’t get any better power sources for my body and A.I. or else I’ll be shut down by the people uptown before I can even make a run for it. 

Although I’ve mainly just become an energy guzzler because I can’t be completely upgraded because of……. reasons, Hoddi does a terrific job at keeping me semi upgraded and Tap somehow obtains the most excellent parts to help Hoddi upgrade me. The combination of these two wonderful beings is how I am in excellent repair despite us being on this side of town.

But energy guzzler aside, being such an A.I. has it’s perks; 1. It freaks people out, 2. Since I’m such an advanced A.I. most cops think I’m just a fellow person controlling a suit from afar, and finally 3. I’m really~ good at diagnosing a problem in an A.I. or any machine. And this last reason just makes up my entire half of our jobs, can’t have my fellow advance brethren fall to disrepair now can I~.

Although the bar does double as a hotspot for information gathering because of me and Hoddi technically being information brokers as well.

Enough about that, where was I? Oh yeah! Tap! Now that I’m thinking about it, I glance at the clock. Tap was supposed to be here half an hour ago, and checked in 25 minutes ago. Something's up.

I do a silent call to Tap over my interface and wait for them to pick up. Nothing. That’s……. Not good……..

That can only mean that Tap has gotten caught up in something, and getting caught up in something these days just means that people, including yourself, are about to die. 

After a couple of more minutes of trying to call Tap and still nothing coming from my attempts, I knew I had to do something. But with how I’m connected to this spot with my generator, I can’t leave. But…… I do have something up my sleeve. Though, I do need Hoddi’s help to make sure this will work.

I proceeded to clear out the bar by saying that I have to close early due to some VIP guests coming soon and that’s usually lingo for ‘SCRAM’. After everyone had cleared out, I went to the deepest part of my storage to find a very old item of mine. It has been awhile but I’ve had these since the creation of my A.I. and body. A very small but powerful generator that works semi like a battery for me. It was ‘advertised’ to last 5 days and could completely recharge in another 5 next to another generator. I was given three and only one can last me at full power for 5 hours max, and if I keep the energy consumption low it could possibly last a full day but it never has before lasted even remotely close to 5 days like it was advertised.

Found it! Now I just need Hoddi’s help. I sent out an emergency call for Hoddi, because I’m not sure if she is in the building right now.

*CRASH*

Nope. She’s in the building. I watch as Hoddi slides around the corner with a concerned look on her face.

“Cass! What’s the call about?!?”

I give her what I hope is a flat look. Her face drops. 

“.....Tap?....” I nodded. She immediately growls and lunges for the computer in the corner and starts aggressively typing on her computer, turning on the tracers to find out where Tap is.

After a minute it pops up that Tap is in one of the abandoned warehouses on the edge of the city and her vital signs are…. Okay….. But not 100%. That means that she has probably been taken hostage in hopes of luring someone out, mainly, me and Hoddi. We glance at each other in slight dismay before hardening our resolve. Hoodie looked at my fancy generator in hand and looked back up to me and said, “You sure?” I nodded. Anything for saving our little bun bun.

Hoodie nodded and waved me over so we could quickly set up our plan.

~Earlier with Tap~

Great! Just great! I just had to get that fancy new part for Cass…… I did though, Cass could really use it. But look where it has gotten me! Mister holier-than-thou Inspector Saul is looking down his nose at me with a sneer. After a moment of our glaring contest he opened his garbage mouth.

“Well, well, well. Look who we have here. The rumored new partner of the two most elusive beings in the underground.”

I wrinkled my nose, and stuck my tongue out at the foul man, he didn’t like that and spat in my face. I merely grinned in return and gave my two cents on this situation. “Oh…. Partner? I have no idea what you’re talking about. I am merely a thief for hire and someone hired me to do this job. I don’t do partnerships, I work alone InSpEcToR SaUl.”

Sauly boy didn’t like that response.

*THWACK*

Whelp. That punch hurt, but I’m not saying anything about my home, those two are my precious people in this fucked up world and I’m not EVER going to rat them out. As I zoned back into reality after that decent punch Saul landed, I watched as he was rubbing his wrist with a little baby handkerchief, seems fitting for the man baby. Saul looked back to me and with a somehow deeper sneer and started spewing trash again,

“Well you little shit, I am going to extract that information out of you one way or another. And I’m going to keep going till you die. And if you die it will be a lesson to your partners that I am on their trail and will soon catch them.”

At that I snorted and shook my head and replied, “Uh huh, you think YOU are going to find the two most elusive people in the underground and you think that killing ME is going to teach them a lesson?” 

Saul glared at me for insinuating that his methods were useless for what he was attempting to do. He opened his mouth to say something else when the lights went out, then we heard skittering, then we were surrounded by an eerie green glow from above, along with a deep mechanical growl. 

Me and Saul looked up.

My face lit up with glee, while Saul’s face went so white that I could see it through the green glow. Saul proceeded to stutter out, “A…. A……. A CAS MODEL!?!?!” I watched as Cass closed their mouth and simply smiled a sinister smile at Saul and then started speaking,

“Well, someone seems to know what I am. And you thought it was a good idea to lure me out of my deep, dark hole? What made you think you were going to win?”

At that Saul seemed to try and begin speaking, but I wasn’t paying attention anymore. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a much smaller red glow behind me. I looked to see Hoddi there with her tool kit getting me out of the ropes that Saul had tied me up in. I made a small noise of surprise and that had Saul pausing from his faux confident rant and glancing over. Seeing me now free and Hoddi behind me with her horns and eyes glowing red, Saul seemed to know when to call it quits and retreat so he proceeded to turn and run. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to take all three of us at once even with the little backup he brought with him, although by the looks of it, Cass had taken over the robots from the beginning to make sure they didn’t alert the so-called great Inspector Saul.

After Saul ran out Cass forcefully shut down the robot bodyguards and turned down the power output to orange like they are usually running at. Then they and Hoddi turned back to me and started questioning me, “Are you okay?”, “Are you injured?”, stuff like that. I shook my head that, no I wasn’t injured, and spoke up,

“I know you two are worried about me, but I’m really fine. But we need to get out of here as quickly as we can, because I doubt that Inspector Saul really left without a fight.”

Cass and Hoddi seemed to freeze at that and nodded. Cass immediately picked me up despite my protests and we made our way back to the hideout without being seen.

~After getting back to the hideout~

Cass set me on the bed and both they and Hoddi reluctantly left me in their sights to quickly hook Cass back up to the generator. Once then finished they both rushed to patch me up for any small scrape or bruise. And once they were satisfied with their work they just looked at me, then Cass spoke up, 

“What happened?”

I took a deep breath and started, “There was this valuable part I knew was being shipped and while it should have been obvious it was a trap from the way it was only one part being shipped, I just knew I had to get it.”

Hoddi gained an incredulous look on her face and spoke up, “And what, pray tell, was so important that you walked into an obvious trap to try and grab it?”

I simply smiled a cheeky smile and held up the part and said, “This.”

Hoddi and Cass both gasped when they saw it. Hoddi started ranting, “This is the one part that would make that new generator I found work with Cass’s system!” They both turned to me in shock as I simply kept smiling back.

Then Cass reached out and hugged me. I smiled and snuggled into the warm metal that was Cass, and Hoddi joined in after a moment. After enjoying the warmth for a moment Cass spoke up,

“You’re grounded, you know?”

I shot up and exclaimed, “WHAT!? WHY!?” Hoddi!......... Help me!……….”

Hoddi simply shook her head and replied, “Sorry bun-bun, you scared us so it’s bar duty for a week until we’ve calmed down.”

I threw my head back with my arms in the air and exclaimed, “Awww comeeeee onnnnnnnn!”

After pouting for a moment, I started laughing and Cass and Hoddi joined in on the laughter. I’m so glad to have found precious people in this fucked up world. I don’t know what I would do without them. All I know is that I just want to keep on surviving with them until it’s no longer possible, and I will do anything to make sure that happens.

“Were you being serious about the grounding…..?”

“Yes.” “Yes.”

“Awww man…..”

@somerandomdudelmao @hodd1 @tapakah0

[hannahlikeso741]

A Poem When You Were Sleeping. (HL Boys watching Female MC sleeping next to them)

So I had no motivation to write, and I have been feeling sad as of late. When that happens, I turn to poetry and feeling a lot better and cheered up a lot. Still trying out different poetry styles so bear with me! Credits to @hogwartslegacyreactions2 for the format!

A heavy breath after your beautiful torment, A sated feeling after your lover's efforts. The bed squeaked after your lover lay down, The seeping stickiness after your mighty anguish. Your eyelids stumble as you got comfortable, Your nerves soothed as you felt safe. Let sleep in as you stopped resisting, Let dreams in as you cease thinking. But you drift away although your lover is watching. He speaks softly although you aren't listening. Does it matter although you aren't curious? I'll show it, although your lover hesitates.

Sebastian Sallow : A Second Chance

Could I graze your skin? Could I come closer? Could you hear me shuffle? Could you...? I had to stare, I had to know it was real. I had to wonder why you stayed. I had to hold you, not wanting to let this go. Would you stay with me? Would you run away from my flaws? Would we last through? Would you... grant me a second chance?

Ominis Gaunt: Just rest, my dear

My ears picked up on your breathing. The movements you make on linen sheets. A nightmare did you dream? Hush now, ease in my touch. My fingers danced on your skin, Forgive me if that seem intrusive. For you felt delicate that made me careful, Not wanting to stir you awake. My lips sprinkle kisses on your neck, Sating my need to hold you. Just rest, my dear. Because I am here.

Garreth Weasley: You drive me mad

How blessed am I to witness such a sight? To have someone who wanted to stay beyond the night. Knowing that cheeky nature, Tamed by out rigorous behaviour. How is you make me lose myself? My ears only hear your voice, My hands yearn to hold your body, My eyes searches for the sight of you. How is it my heart beats for your smile? My mind soothed when you smile. Ah, darling you drive me to insanity But fine, I love being a little mad.

Amit Thakkar: An Apsara You Must Be

Chandra bathed through the room, As if directing me to put you in view. The moon god knows a parijat flower in bloom, He makes himself known on you. My heart, an Apsara you must be, No longer dancing for Indra's court, You lay in mortal form with me, As if you were my consort. Would you consider being by my side? I'd worship you and ensure you are adored. I understand if you turn a blind eye. But I only ask you this. Nothing more.

Leander Prewett: Am I selfish?

You chose me of all people. To see your vulnerable state. I had never seen you like this, Calm without a worry. Are you here for the fun? Or am I foolish to want more? Would I wake up to tossled sheets, or to have to see your halo? For now I will take what I can get, I can live with whatever your choice is. Am I selfish for wanting this to last longer? Even if my own body betrays me to sleep?

[walkingstackofbooks]

Inquisition, but with added angst...

What if Sloan's objective in Inquisition wasn't to recruit Julian, but to break him so he'd sign away his rights and let himself be incarcerated. For the protection of the Federation of course.

And what could break our doctor more than believing he's responsible for killing one of his friends...?

--

Julian woke up in a cell so small that even sitting up, he didn’t quite fit on the bench. The Defiant’s brig. They must have rescued him from Weyoun… and then put him here? He struggled to put his last few flashes of memory together; the Vorta had tried to convince him he was a spy, which had made him realised that it was Sloan who was the real traitor. Then Jadzia, Kira and Worf had beamed in, and he’d gone to grab the Cardassian’s weapon and then… nothing. Until waking up here. He guessed he must have hit his head, or been shot, or something – but there was no lingering pain anywhere, no indication of what might have caused his unconsciousness.

It didn’t really matter. The important thing was to tell Captain Sisko as soon as possible about what had happened – that Sloan could not be trusted. Julian was well aware of how this must have looked to his captain, but Sisko was fair; he knew he would be heard out.

Someone was standing on guard, but had placed themselves just to the side of the forcefield, so it impossible for Julian to make out anything more about them than their presence. “Can you tell Captain Sisko I’m awake? Please. I need to speak to him,” he asked whoever it was.

They didn’t respond. Automatically, Julian rapped on the forcefield with his fists – and then pulled them away quickly with a stifled cry, rubbing them where they’d been stung. The forcefield shimmered and stuttered for a few seconds, but the guard either had not noticed, or did not care.

“Hello? Please, it’s really important that Captain Sisko hears this,” Julian tried again, loud and demanding. He needed to relay what he had learnt, and he allowed his righteous anger to seep into his words. “I am still his Chief Medical Officer, you have no right—”

He stopped, hearing the crewman activate their combadge. “Kira to Sisko,” she said. “He’s woken up.”

In the brief silence that followed, Julian’s mind raced. It was Kira? And she was just ignoring him? He really had thought that his friends, at least, would know he’d never betray them, even if Sisko had to weigh up all the options as captain. Did his situation look that suspicious?

Sisko’s voice filtered back through the badge. “I’ll speak to him after,” the captain said. Julian could hear the frown in his voice, and shivered at the coldness of it. “I’m needed here. Tell him whatever you think is necessary. Sisko out.”

“Nerys, you need to listen to me—” Julian stopped as she swung round to meet his gaze. Kira was smiling, but there was no warmth to it. Her eyes were alight with anger, and Julian stepped back in alarm.

“I need to listen to you?” Kira said, lips curling in disdain. “Doctor, I’m really not sure that I’d believe anything you’d say right now, so don’t waste your breath.”

Julian looked at her in astonishment. “Kira, I know it’s hard to believe, but I’m innocent!” he exclaimed. “You can’t just– I’ve been framed, Sloan’s the traitor, he’s working with them…”

Some sort of half-laugh broke out of Kira, and she spat on the ground in front of his cell. “Was it Sloan who shot Jadzia, Julian? Do remind me.”

Julian faltered for a moment, struggling to comprehend what Kira had said. “Jadzia was shot?” he replied, heart pounding, stumbling over his words. “Is she alright? I should be in the Medbay, with her – why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because youshot her, Doctor!” Kira said incredulously, as though it was a fact, and not some insane accusation. “Stop pretending you don’t know that you’re the reason she’s probably going to—” She broke off, punching the wall next to her in frustration. “Dammit, Nerys,” she whispered, low enough that Julian was sure he wasn’t meant to hear. “Don’t cry yet.” Turning away from him, she returned to where she’d previously been stood, out of Julian’s sight.

Terror flooded him. “Kira,” he said urgently, moving as close as he could to the forcefield. “Kira, please. Tell me Jadzia’s alright.”

“You shot her in the stomach, Julian,” came the quiet response. “A perfect shot, you got Dax, too. No, she’s not “alright”. You made sure of that.”

Julian couldn’t breathe. He stumbled back, legs bumping into the bench behind him, causing him to fall onto it. This was a nightmare, Jadzia couldn’t be dying, this couldn’t be happening.

Except it was.

“I-- I didn’t do it, Kira,” he said, desperately. “I don’t know what you saw, but I didn’t—you know I’d never hurt her—I didn’t shoot her, Nerys, I couldn’t, I didn’t.” Surely, surely, even if part of him was working for the Dominion, that was still true. He was a doctor, he was Jadzia’s friend, he didn’t go around murdering people.

Kira had snatched up a PADD from the monitoring station, and released the forcefield for a few seconds to shove it into Julian’s hands. It was displaying the security feed for the Medbay, and Julian could see Jadzia lying on a biobed: Worf was holding her hands on one side, Sisko stood rigid on the other.

“I wish I could believe you,” Kira said. “But I saw you tackle that Cardassian for his phaser; I saw you aim at Jadzia and I watched as you fired. Then Worf launched himself at you, tackled you to the ground, and we got out of there. There’s no uncertainty here, Julian. The person we put behind that forcefield is the same person who shot Jadzia.”

“Me,” whispered Julian. It still didn’t make sense, he still couldn’t remember anything; it was impossible to believe that he’d been broken, that he was suffering from “engrammatic dissociation”, that any of this was real. He’d been so certain that Sloan and Weyoun had been working together in some grand scheme against him.

But maybe the simpler explanation was true. He was a traitor.

His hands were shaking – no, his whole body was shaking – and his breaths were coming in short, sharp pants, faster and faster. “I-- I don’t remember,” he said, aching to be believed in this, at least. “I really don’t remember. Please, Major. I didn’t know. I didn’t, I—I swear…” He was clutching at the PADD as though it was a lifeline, although he could barely make out the figures on the screen, no matter how many tears he blinked away.

“I can’t do this,” he heard Kira say, followed by the tap of her combadge again. “Kira to Security. I need someone – no, two people – down at the brig.”

He didn’t bother trying to speak to her again as they waited for security to relieve her. What would be the point? Instead, he let the cell around him grow blurry and floaty and distant, trying to get as far away from his own thoughts as he could. But it didn’t take long for his new guards to arrive, and the sound of footsteps and voices brought him back to himself.

He had expected Kira to leave without another word to him, but as she neared the door, she turned back, looking at him fiercely.

“I should have listened when Starfleet told us you were dangerous,” she said bitterly. “If you’d been locked away a year ago…” Leaving the thought hanging there, she shook her head, and made her exit.

Julian could fill in the blanks. If I’d been locked away a year ago, Jadzia wouldn’t be dying. If I hadn’t fought so hard against Sloan, I wouldn’t have shot her. If I hadn’t been so arrogant, thinking I was the exception, a “good” augment, thinking that I could never be turned—

A faint, deep yell came through the corridors, and Julian’s eyes snapped to the PADD. Sisko was now holding Jadzia’s hand, his head bent low, whereas Worf was standing up, head thrown back as he bellowed to the heavens. The PADD dropped from Julian’s hands as he fell to his knees on the floor. His head knocked against the forcefield as he went down, but he didn’t care. No physical discomfort could ever compete with the hollow emptiness that consumed him in that instant, and he was lost to despair.

--

(Having said I wouldn't start working on anything that wasn't my Miles-keeps-dying fic [and yes, okay, I do love making Julian watch his friends die, shhh], I haven't been able to stop thinking about this since chatting with @fuzzyhairedfreak the other day - it's not quite what I had in mind then, but I blame your post for setting the brainworms in motion :P it's been very fun to write though, so thanks!)

[the-writing-mobster]

could we get some group chat hcs about the bf gang 🙏

| Baby Face Boys & Babes HCs! | Group Chat 💬| 💖🤘🏻

If you have any Head Canon requests like this, go ahead and drop them in my inbox. These are so fun to write out, so I'd love some ideas hehe. Also, let me know if you want head canons for specific characters ;)

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Sans: The Lurker

This guy literally made the group chat, and then as soon everyone was added, he muted that shit immediately.

"Nope. This is too much."

Rarely talks in the chat, if at all, but occasionally the boys will see him pop in or see that he's online. Maybe sometimes he'll like something that Nick sent or respond with a thumbs up if you're super lucky.

The guys will start freaking out like; "SANS!? SANS IS HERE!"

Only for him to immediately leave again.

The boys have to DM Sans directly if they really need him to respond or see something.

He just prefers hanging out in person, is all. In person he's the life of the party. He's just nigh impossible to get ahold of.

Nick: The Planner

He actually uses the group chat for its intended purpose: planning in person get togethers and band rehearsals.

Always sending live show flyers or Event invites like "guys we have to go to this thing!" Only for his stuff to get buried under Jonas and Midas's constant spamming.

"I need to just invest in Remind for you pricks."

But because Nick is adamant their plans usually do come to fruition. It's just a matter of herding cats for him.

Some other uses for the group chat:

He sends lyrics and music bytes he writes & records to the chat to hear feedback.

Spreads current politics/news and information about protests, or local organizations to volunteer at.

Jonas: Meme spammer

Exactly as the name suggests. This guy fills the group chat with every meme and Tik tok he happens to find even a little funny.

He is Nick's greatest enemy, because it's always Jonas doing the burying with his silly like jokes. It's not intentional or malicious, he is just easily distracted.

Will always be trying to start a group call so he can just vibe with his friends at all hours of the night.

He and Alphys talk the most to each other. They just yap on and on.

Constantly sending videos of new tricks he learned on the skateboard, only for Midas to tell him he looks goofy.

Midas: The Instigator

This boy liiiiives for the drama.

Anytime Jonas begins sending memes while Nick is trying to plan he'll be like "epic Jonas moment," or "imagine interrupting our supreme leader," or even better, "thank the stars we changed the subject," which never fails to get both Nick and Jonas riled up

Midas just mutes with a shitty little grin on his face as chaos ensues.

It's all in good fun. He's just a much of a hype man as he is everyone's personal menace.

Especially for Maeve.

When Jonas sends videos of him doing a cool trick, Midas does the same trick with a finger skateboard and makes a joke like "mine's way sicker."

The embodiment of this emoji: 😈

Never sends pictures of himself. He never really knows if he can trust cameras with his eyes. It's just a constant thing he has to be conscious of, unfortunately.

Alphys: Chronically online / Talkative

She is the first to open the groupchat any time someone sends anything. Immediate responses.

Some say it's being chronically online, some say it's a crippling fear of being forgotten, either way she's the first to speak.

Double texts like no one's business. No one mind's though, she's just got a lot to say and she's a lot more confident online than irl. Less stuttering.

Will ask if people want to go on a convenient store run with her at 3 am. For some reason, Sans actually responds? (it's because they're both awake. The boys will read over the chats and go insane.)

Is constantly sending pictures of cute girls like "omg, should I talk to her? Should I ask if she's gay? omg"

Only for Midas to be like "why are you taking pictures of random people."

If someone begins venting to the chat she's the one to try ad offer advice and comfort before anyone else.

Maeve: The Tea Spiller

"Guys, you're never gonna believe what happened/who I saw/what I heard--"

"Oh my god, I need to tell my girls!" she says about her groupchat filled with rambunctious boys and a lesbian.

The tea can range from political talk, petty school/subculture scene gossip all the way to, "Oh my stars, I just saw a squirrel steal an acorn from another squirrel! Someone call TMZ!"

She's the first to know about anything going on outside of the friend group.

But also the first to defuse gossip beginning to spread within the friend group.

"Hey, let's not talk behind Sans's back. If you have a problem, you need to go to him. Don't be a coward."

She usually calls Midas down from his gremlin hours and laugh the hardest at Jonas's memes.

All around amazing friend. Always keeps the conversation interesting. LOVE HER!

Bonus:

Frisk: Fit Check!

Sans reared his face in the group chat just to warn them that he was adding Frisk. (He only does this after having a discussion about it with Nick in dms to make sure it's okay and won't be weird)

Frisk doesn't really look at it a lot since she prefers just talking to Sans, but she does enjoy having access to everyone she considers her friends.

Uses the groupchat as a personal hype train. Will send a picture of her trying on a cool alternative outfit at the mall like "what do you guys think? Any suggestions to make it cooler?"

Midas, Nick and Maeve give actual fashion advice, meanwhile Alphys and Jonas are always too busy telling her how pretty she is.

Sans doesn't know how to feel about it... contemplating on kicking her but so far it's been sweet and innocent. He's weirdly more active.

Probably doesn't mean anything.

Hope you enjoyed that! Sorry this took so long to answer lmao, I have severe inbox procrastination sometimes hahaha.

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Here's a lil song I thought fit the mood of these headcanons

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

don't wait for tumblr to give u more tags. go off about tony and steve and zola pls i am humbly requesting

As a part of my ongoing war on my ask box this is a very old post regarding a tumblr tag essay i made forever ago. i half answered this ask when it came in and then forgot to finish. without further ado:

Anon is talking about this post about Steve and Tony’s relationship. I HIGHLY recommend the original post it's great but i copied the original tags essay below since it's been so long since the ask arrived.

#I feel like anyone who writes Tony stark for marvel should have to go watch bojack horseman first as like a mandatory assignment#because that show understood the premise of Tony stark better than any MCU writer ever has and it wasn’t even writing for tony stark#in sum bojack horseman follows the titular bojack who is a washed up 90s sitcom television star#bojack himself is extremely self destructive and the show follows him as his selfish and egotistical tendencies erode at his relationships#However bojack himself is an extremely sympathetic character. his harmful acts are all tied very directly to the trauma of his life#he’s a survivor of generational abuse whose own substance abuse problems stem from the fact that he was in such a neglectful environment#that he had started drinking at an INCREDIBLY young age got himself sober only to relapse due to a spiked drink after fame

#this sympathic is increased by the fact that he does geninuinely love and care for his friends and often goes to extreme lengths to show it#but what the show understands that MCU writers dont is that his tragic past doesn’t excuse the harm or pain he causes and the show goes to#LABORIOUS extents to emphasize the consequences and suffering his actions cause in his attempt towards making amends#it is FASINCATING to me that MCU just fails to grasp this because it’s really the core of Tony’s character. his story is one of redemption#and regret. but what it never seemed to get is that requires recognition of wrongs and change and his relationship with steve is a prime ex.#when they meet tony is 40+ and Steve is 23-25. steve has been awake from world war 2 for less than 2 weeks everyone he loves is dead and hes#visibly haunted by his time in the ice. his ptsd flashbacks to crashing the plane is how his character is introduced. Tony spends the time

#calling him ‘capsicle’ and talking about how much he can’t stand steve. the narrative plays it off as a gaff of little consequence but#practically speaking that’s INSANE. like can you imagine you’re a traumatized war vet who got out of a coma 2 months ago and woke up to#discover everyone you ever loved is dead and this stranger twice your age at your new work nicknames you coma boy and hates your guts bc of#his daddy issues? like Tony in avengers is borderline cruel but the narrative and the fandom never acknowledge it. it’s like removing the#laugh track on a scene from one of those old sitcoms and realizing how mean it is. and while we can fully acknowledge that Howard hurt Tony#that doesn’t make it Steve’s fault and doesn’t give Tony the license to take it out on him. like at the end of the day your healing is your#responsibility and the MCU fails to grasp that with Tony. honestly it does a disservice to the depth of his character b/c Tony should have#already grown past this by the time of Avengers. he had already gone through iron man 2 and grappled somewhat with his relationship w howard#while that doesn’t mean he’s healed yet it does mean that his character needs to learn to grow past it or he risks stagnation. mcu just#happily embraced stagnation and it made the character worse for it. Theres a scene in the comics where Tony is the first to reach out to#Steve post ice. he takes him to the air&space museum and welcomes him to the future. THATS the growth we want. Bc fundamentally even if we

#sympathize for Tony’s abuse by Howard lashing out at someone who was functionally dead at the time of ur dads mistakes is a very juvenile#mindset. /growth/ is deciding to be better than the person who hurt you and the MCUs obsession with blaming Steve for howard cut that off#CW would have been SO MUCH MORE COMPELLING if Tony had formed a relationship with Steve bc Steve would be torn between past and present but#instead Tony is saying how much he hated Steve during the fucking movie and Steve’s taking it with grace. like you’re 50 man you gotta work#past this at some point. out of tags but I have Opinions about Tony and actually zola too but we won’t get there give me more tags tumblr

Fundamentally, my issue with Tony and how he's written for the MCU is that he has the potential for one of greatest redemption arcs ever and the writers are fucking allergic to giving it to him, and his dynamic with Steve is a a prime example of it. How poorly Steve's relationship with Tony was mishandled is a pretty perfect case study as to how Tony as a character was mishandled as a whole.

As stated in the Tumblr Tags Essay above, by the time Steve came on the scene, Tony should have already grown past his hate for Steve. To be clear, that is not saying he should have gotten over Howard or any harm that he suffered as a result of his. Howard was his parent who was, to some degree, at least emotionally neglectful, if not abusive. Healing and learning helping coping mechanisms does not demand you forgive your abuser.

But Steve was never his abuser. He's a 20-something year old guy who has been trapped in a block of ice for Tony's entire life and who woke up two weeks ago to find out that everyone he ever loved is dead or suffering from alzheimer's and that his sacrifice was for nothing because he was just told the thing he drove a fucking plane into the fucking arctic over is Back Again Because We Learned Nothing.

And the thing is that the realization that "This man can hold literally no complicity in my abuser because he was frozen in the Arctic Circle the entire time" requires a level of emotional maturity you generally achieve at the age of thirteen or so. Tony is fucking fifty. Mentally, he's over twice Steve's age. At absolute best, the way Tony treats Steve from the outset is immature and more accurately it's downright cruel. Voluntarily killing himself by driving a plane into ice only to wake up and discover that he has lost everyone he ever loved is undoubtedly one of the most traumatic things that has ever happened to steve, and he just woke up from it. He is two weeks out from this. He's actively having flashbacks of what happened right before Tony starts cracking jokes about it. It'd be like if Steve walked up to Tony right after he got back from Afghanistan and called him Waterboarding Boy and everyone treated it like it was a cutesy character trait.

That's one of the most egregious parts of how Tony's character is written--things that are objectively things that need to be addressed in his character arc area treated like acceptable and borderline justified quirks in his personality. Tony's relationship with his father is one of the cornerstones of his backstory and who he became. While he doesn't have to forgive his father on the road to recovery, he does have to realize when he's using it as an excuse to hurt others and stop it.

That's also something he never does, and one of the reasons why i think that the writers for him need to watch Bojack horseman. In the same movie he's claiming to that he was Steve's friend, he's still saying to his face how much he fucking hated him over things that happened when Steve was supposed to have martyred himself to save the world.

There's multiple parts of Tony's character that could have formed the basis of an amazing character arc if he grew and improved from them, but the narrative refused to even recognize them as problems, let alone have him overcome them, and his relationship with Steve is a perfect example of it. The writer's refusal to recognize that brings down the quality of his entire arc and cheapens him as a character.

If Tony had been allowed to recognize that Steve was not to blame for his father, accepted it, and given a man half his age who just lost everything a lifeline, that would have shown an amazing amount of growth. Instead, they left him as immature and cruel. It's a shame and an insult to the potential of his character, and it's a mistake that they repeat again and again. Tony was supposed to be completely against developing weapons for others, but he canonically helped build a major part of Project Insight. Tony's entire stance in Civil War was meant to show that he had accepted that he made mistakes and that he needed to be held accountable for his actions, but then he went and unilaterally built EDITH, whose existence violates multiple international treaties including the Accords and had so few safety precautions that a teenaged boy was able to accidentally call out a missile strike on his teenaged classmate. He's in a movie where he's driven by his guilt for causing the death of someone's college-aged son, and in that same movie he blackmails a high-school-aged boy to join in on a fight he knows nothing about, that goes directly against his interests, and could get him killed even if he was certain that Team Cap wouldn't use lethal force. Rhodey got paralyzed from the waist down from friendly fire. Tony had a moment in the same fight where he had reason to fear that Peter had been injured if not killed.

Ultimately, Tony's entire character is built on a foundation of repentance and growth. That's why he has so much potential and why he's so compelling. The fact that his writers were unable to recognize when he even needed to repent, let alone allow him to grow, was honestly insulting to what he could have been.

Zola:

The reference to Zola is actually more of a response to fandom’s response to Zola as a whole than the actual specific person who made the comment.

Overall, the majority of fandom response that I've seen just seemed to be sort of besides the point? The thing about Armin Zola working for SHIELD is that I personally have only seen discussion about this in context of talking about how Peggy and Howard are Bad or talking about how steve would feel betrayed when he discovered it. To be honest most of the discourse I’ve seen has just been about hating Peggy Carter and using this as a sledgehammer in that discussion.

It’s not that I disagree with that reading of it—like, I do think Steve felt betrayed by the realization that Zola was recruited in the end, and I think it’s bad to have recruited literal Nazis—but I do think that fandom elevated the most tangential point of it to the detriment of its entire narrative purpose. I've only ever personally seen it used in character discourse and shipping wars--which like, anyone can draw on any plot point they so choose while participating in fandom. But Zola's recruitment was the thematic core of Winter Soldier, and it always seemed kinda weird to me that it was treated as a personal defect in Howard and Peggy when it was the entire argument of the movie and one of the best social commentaries that the MCU ever made.

Zola gives what I think is one of the better MCU villain speeches in the bunker about how Hydra recovered after the war. He states that they realized that taking the freedom of the world by force only galvanised people against them. It led to their own downfall. But he explains that Hydra realized that the people of the world would freely give away their own rights and freedoms if you made them comfortable. If you say you’re doing it for their own safety and comfort, then they’ll effectively look the other way while Hydra seizes control of the world. And that entire monologue is bolstered by the fact that that is exactly what happened in Zola’s case.

Zola was brought into SHIELD as a part of operation paperclip. Operation Paperclip was a post-war initiative by the United States government to recruit key Nazi scientists into United States scientific development. This entire initiative was brought about in response to the Cold War arm’s race and it was justified on the basis of dire national security need. Both America and the Soviet Union were EXTREMELY CONCERNED about losing the cold war. As a result, they were willing to take pretty much any strategic advantage they could, including After, President Truman, who gave the final go-ahead for the initiative, said that "this had to be done and was done."

Even after it became public knowledge, it was defended as more of a necessary evil and the cost of the practicalities of governance than a world power welcoming war criminals with open arms. Multiple participants have been linked to human experimentation, slave labor factories, etc, though none were ever formally found guilty of anything--which may be because the US aggressively whitewashed their pasts and then went so far as to help relocate one of the members of the initiative to Argentina.

This was, again, all a part of the Cold War arms race with the USSR--who had an identical program going at the same time, Operation Osoaviakhim.

En arguendo, let's just assume that all of this was done with the best possible intentions and execution. The nominal rationale was the Cold War. While analyzing the Red Scare and the entire Cold War period would take way too long, I think a solid premise we can agree on is that nuclear war is bad. It would have been disastrous for anyone alive if the Cold War had escalated, and recruiting top scientists from the Nazi regime 1) kept the USSR from doing it instead, which they were actively doing, and 2) helped prevent strategic advantage in one country or another that may have led to an escalation. Now, I'm not a historian, and all of these premises can naturally be debated, but these were the like, best faith premises that world leaders had at the time. If you want a nuclear deterrent, you need the biggest stick.

The thing is that, if you assume these premises as genuine for the sake of the argument, the absolute best this leaves you with is doing a very bad thing for a very important government purpose. You're supposedly preventing nuclear war, but you're doing so at the cost of justice for all the people who suffered at the hands of these people, and the risk of future harm that they may cause.

Which, thematically, is the core of the Winter Soldier.

I've usually seen Zola's recruitment discussed in terms of Peggy or Howard making the decision to let him in, when in reality, they probably didn't make the call themselves so much as become complicit in it later. Zola was captured and recruited right at the end of CA:FA (he later clocks this at 1945) but Peggy and Howard didn't even have an organization at that point, let alone the power to recruit a head Nazi scientist. This was two decades before SHIELD was ever founded, and if we take the Agent Carter series as binding canon, at the time of Zola's transition into American government would, Peggy had so little sway that she couldn't even get anyone to listen to her, let alone recruit a nazi scientist, and Howard was potentially on the run and definitely not involved in any formal governmental decision making. Even if you assume that they were somehow in charge of a government agency at the time of Zola's recruitment, the actual recruitment and function of Operation Paperclip was conducted by independent agencies (Joint Intelligence Objectives Agency and the Counterintelligence Corps) that Peggy and Howard weren't a part of, and the person who made the call for Operation Paperclip itself was The Literal President Of The United States. Whatever way you cut it, Peggy and Howard probably had nothing to do with Zola's initial recruitment--what most likely happened was that two decades passed (the time between Zola's recruitment and SHIELD's founding) and when resources were being allocated some big-shot in the overseeing body was like Yeah You Do Weird Stuff? We Got A Guy Who's Been Doing Weird Stuff For Us For Like Twenty Years and then when Peggy and Howard saw him they were like Oh Its This Motherfucker.

To be clear, this is not at all to absolve howard and peggy for working with a guy they knew did literal human experimentation because he did it on one of their best friends. But this is to more clearly reframe it from Decision They Personally Made to The Ways Being At A Certain Level Of Government Makes You Complicit With Horrible Things, which perfectly encapsulates the heart of the movie.

At the open of the movie, Steve is visibly on a fucking ledge with SHIELD. Fuck, Fury and Nat spend most of the opening trying to keep him from flying the coop. And it's because Steve for the very first time has to grapple with the consequences of being an active participant in a governmental body.

Straight up--Steve spent the entire war going AWOL. His entire military career was spent doing what he wanted and flipping his superior officers the bird. The man was a terrible fucking soldier but by the time anyone figured it out they had already given him a comic book and the Medal of Honor and the man could bench press a tank it was simply too late. Then, he got encased in ice for 70 years, woke up, had two weeks of fun future integration activities like Not Getting Therapy For His Problems and Looking At Pictures Of His Dead Friends, got tapped in because they fucked up with the exact thing he lost everything to stop, immediately went AWOL again, almost died again, went on a roadtrip of self discovery, and at some point between then and CAWS started working as one of the main STRIKE members of SHIELD. This is likely his first time having to ever deal with the realities of being a hand of the government.

One of the most insidious things about high-level government work is there's rarely some Main Guy sitting behind a desk signing Evil Decrees and responsible for everything. Power is allocated and things get messy very quickly.

Take Ghost for example. One of SHIELD'S Main Guys falls out with another Guy, smears his name, which makes the Ex-Guy so desperate that he takes unnecessary risks in his experiments that predictably blow up in his face and leads to his young daughter having a debilitating power that results in her uncontrollably phasing through objects. Another Guy tries to do the right thing and help her, but Other Main Guys think "This kid would make a GREAT assassin" and leverage a cure for her debilitating health condition into turning her into a forced operative. This health condition starts to kill her, but the Main Guys were so happy with their new forced assassin that they never looked for a cure to begin with and was going to use her until she died. She goes rather reasonably goes AWOL, and in her attempts to cure herself, she's willing to do just about anything to get cured, and including contemplating kidnapping Scott's daughter as an option.

Steve obviously wasn't called in to help with that (he was AWOL himself at that point) but assume he was--he would only get pulled into this mess at the very end when all the damage is done and there's a highly unstable assassin kidnapping little girls. SHIELD was at fault for every horrible thing that happened to this person. He has a strong sense of justice, and he'd likely to be furious to find out that SHIELD took an orphanged child and abused their incredibly painful and terminal medical condition, which was indirectly caused by them, in order to force them into becoming a highly skilled operative.

But there isn't just one person that he'd be able to find and blame for what happened with this--culpability was stretched out over Multiple Main Guys who made bad decisions, a lot of Lower Guys who built the suit, trained her, handled her in the field, and experimented on her to learn her limits, many of whom likely didn't even work for the organization any more.

Who do you go after for that? The Main Guy who smeared her dad? But he didn't have anything to do with the assassin business or the actual accident. The Main Guys who made the calls for the assassination thing? Better candidates, but is it that simple? What about the guys who just get orders every day and have no decision making authority, who were handed a little girl who was vulnerable and in pain and told to train her to kill? What about the ones making a child-sized tactical suit with no details about what was going on but who had reason enough to suspect it wasn't all good? They were just following orders, but so were Nazis working the camps.

How do you go after people for that? Fire them? It's been decades. Most are probably retired. And that's a pretty lame punishment for what they did. He doesn't make the calls for legal action, they definitely have qualified immunity for their decisions, and there's a whole host of problems with proving anything.

But, on the flip side, what does he do about Ghost? what happened to her is terrible, but if she had kidnapped Cassie Lang, he couldn't exactly sit on his hands and let it happen no matter the justification. There's a very good chance he has to stop her and become another link in a chain of what's been a lifetime of abuse. Things get messy when you're just a cog in the machine of a sprawling agency that has a lot of power to abuse.

While we don't know what Steve's been doing while he worked for SHIELD, we do know that it pissed him off to high heavens. The very first thing we see him doing for SHIELD is recapturing the off-course Lemurian Star from pirates, and he is the exact opposite of a dutiful soldier during it. He doesn't just salute and follow his orders without question--one of the first lines of his mouth is calling them out for lying about the ship being in those waters because it was off-course. He's like "Oh, so it's not off course, it's trespassing" to which Nat says "I'm sure they had a good reason" and Steve replies "I'm getting a little tired of being Fury's janitor."

He's saving the hostages, and then all of a sudden he finds Natasha in the control room downloading the drive and realizes that this was about SHIELD's data to begin with but no one clued him in on that fact. He's pissed because the hostages could have died, which is a fact he immediately goes after Fury about.

There is so much character jammed into those few minutes of screen time. This is visibly an old argument--at one point, Fury says to him "It's damn near getting past time for you to get with the program, Cap" to which Steve tells him not to hold his breath. Steve doesn't like or approve of a lot of SHIELD's actions, but he's called in after all the bad things they did went to shit. Like, what's he going to do--say, sorry, the Lemurian Star was obviously Up To Some Shit that I don't want to be a part of, RIP to the hostages but I'm just going to let them get shot in the head? He's the janitor and he's sick of getting called into SHIELD fucking something up through their own immoral actions and calling him to pull their ass out of the fire. He spends the entire first half of the movie on the verge of flying the coop entirely, and Nat and Fury visibly know it and are trying to get him off the ledge in every interaction they have on screen with him--which directly contributes to the fact that Steve doesn't trust either of them for the first half of the movie.

It also is likely the motivator behind why he does ultimately trust Sam. Steve spends the first half of the movie getting Managed. He's increasingly pissed and distrustful of SHIELD and its agents, and he's got good reason to be--Nat and Fury hide things from him and keep trying to persuade him to stick with the program (to be clear Nat's (and to a somewhat lesser extent Fury's) own actions and whether any culpability for things like project insight could possibly be imputed to her has to be analyzed under an entirely different lens due to the difference in her personal history and character type, but this is already way too long to tackle that here. this isn't actually meant to assign blame to her, but more to analyze the likely results on steve). Fury takes him for a tour of his Fascist Death Machine and tells him that's what the world needs. The neighbor he was growing increasingly intimate with was a SHIELD agent who lied to him about her name and the fact that she was spying on him. At the end of the day, the majority of the of the early movie is spent with his desires and principles are treated as secondary and unwanted complications to the fact that they really need him to keep throwing that shield on SHIELD's behalf (whether this is actually what nat and fury specifically are trying to do is, again, a separate analysis we don't have time for, this is just to go to how it likely affects and appears to Steve).

Sam, meanwhile, is beautiful and charming is the only one who openly expresses a genuine concern for Steve as a person and not steve as a solider. Sam spends the entire first half of the movie reaching out to someone in a position he's been in himself and trying to get him help. his entire first meeting with Steve is defined by him trying to help a fellow Vet recover from war. he tries to gauge where Steve's at with the future, invites him to the VA, and packages it in a easily-seen-through excuse that gives them both plausible deniability--Steve can come by and get the help he needs not as Captain America The Man The Myth The Legend Who Is Really Fucking Struggling, but as Steve the guy helping Sam impress the girl at the front desk.

When he comes to the VA, Sam has the direct opposite response that everyone else in the movie has to Steve questioning his place in SHIELD and in government work--he's like "Quit. Quit now. Be free and beautiful like me. become an ultimate fighter or whatever the fuck you want." He doesn't give two shits about what the world will do without Captain America keeping it safe--he just cares about what Steve needs.

This all goes to a greater analysis about how Sam is beautiful and charming the perfect parallel to Steve, the only one who could possibly have taken up his shield, and actually wrong in that line he says about how he does what Steve does but slower because he consistently decides to do the right thing before Steve is another analysis that would go too far off the point to get into. The point being is that Sam exists in the narrative as the direct opposite and alternative to the reality fury and nat offers Steve. Steve spends the beginning of the movie with Nat and Fury seemingly sacrificing the means for the end, but there's Sam, beautiful and charming someone who made the same decision he's now faced with, being like "fuck it. sometimes you have to walk."

Steve's entire struggle about his position with SHIELD reaches its climax when he first finds out the truth of Project Insight.

For the avoidance of any doubt, SHIELD secretly being infiltrated by HYDRA has no effect on how wrong Project Insight was from the start--it just emphasized how horrifically wrong it could go. But "Space Super Death Weapon That Can Immediately Kill Dangers To National Security" is a bad idea no matter who is in charge of it. First off, Steve is right--punishment follows the crime. No government has a crystal fucking ball and anyone who justifies things on the basis of "taking out threats ahead of time" is talking out their ass. to be clear, i'm not saying you need to wait for someone to be on a plane and flying at the twin towers to stop a terrorist attack--in law, we have a designated level of "closeness" that lets us say "yeah you were totally actually doing what we don't want you doing" at which point you can charge them with attempt, and often a lot of the earlier steps leading up to the Big Harmful Thing are actual crimes you can intervene with.

Project Insight was the flagship of of a "quantum surge in threat analysis." It did exactly what it was designed to do: it took out threats before they became threats. The only difference between SHIELD being at the helm and HYDRA is who gets defined as a threat. HYDRA would have defined that as anyone from a high school valedictorian in Iowa to Stephen Strange, but it's not any better if SHIELD's defining that as some random kid in Afghanistan who shows whatever traits show a risk for one day becoming a combatant.

And yet, steve's the only one in the movie who says this. We don't actually know how much Nat knows about Project insight itself, but Fury is fully aware and a participant in it, and Tony Stark apparently took one look at the thing and said "your engines are shit. i'll improve them." Steve takes one look at them and calls it fascist bullshit.

At the end of the day, you can never justify shit like this under the assumption that the people controlling it will use it for the best, because you cannot trust the people controlling it. Yeah, Project Insight was probably pitched with being used against the worst threats. Dangers to public safety, terrorists, that kind of thing. Do you want to know who else was considered a danger to public safety? MLK, who the FBI fucking murdered. The people who define threats to national security are the ones who have the same incentive to maintain the status quo in an unjust world. Even if we assume Project Insight was made to stop the next 9/11, we also have to assume that at least some of the strikes it would have carried out under not-HYDRA control would have been for the wrong reasons.

What the fuck does all of this this have to do with Zola?

Operation Paperclip and Peggy and Howard's decisions within it directly mirrors Project Insight and Fury's decisions within it, directly mirrors Steve's journey and central conflict over the course of the film, and directly contrasts with the alternative Sam poses within it.

CA:WS at its thematic core, says that initiatives that sacrifice justice for claims of national security and public safety are exactly what robs us of our rights and freedoms and ultimately endangers us all. It's not even subtle--Zola says it out loud in his evil villain speech. but operating at a high level in a government agency puts you in a position where you're meant to make that decision again and again, even if we assume you have the best of intentions.

Peggy and Howard were people who believed that they had to make the hard decisions to save the world. They were handed a decision where perception of culpability was obscured by how distributed out the blame was, and the direct public benefit to national security was posed to be overwhelmingly good. It leads to SHIELD's infiltration. Project Insight went through on the exact same reasoning. Fury, Maria Hill, possibly Nat, and Tony (off-screen) all do the exact same thing and justify the means by the end, and it leads to the helicarriers being made.

Steve spends the movie being told, explicitly, to "get with the program" and start making the same decisions. His central conflict is being someone on the inside of this club, being told that he needs to start understand what keeping the world safe demands, and his journey leads to him refusing to do it. The climax of the movie is a character so minor that we never learn his name refusing to launch the helicarriers with a gun pointed at his head, even though the complicity he carried in it would have been just as attenuated as Steve's was as SHIELD's janitor. And all throughout it, there's Sam, someone who left the military explicitly because he couldn't follow the rules he was being given anymore.

Peggy and Howard's decision to go along with Zola in Operation Paperclip is a direct parallel of the decisions Fury made with Project Insight and the decisions Steve ultimately refuses to make himself. Making Peggy and Howard complicit in what let in Arnim Zola encapsulates the entire core argument of CA:WS and it's so weird to me that I've only ever seen it discussed in shipping wars and discourse as to whether a Character Is Bad.

Peggy and Howard, ultimately, were members of a governmental task force who made the Hard Decisions for The Public Good. As an inherent part of that role, they did bad things. Unjust things. They undoubtedly saved the world multiple times over as a part of their tenure as the head of SHIELD, but it would be absolute naivety to assume that anyone in that position didn't become complicit in terrible fucking things. It's the direct product of their positions in the government, and it's exactly what leads to Steve's position in Civil War. it is absolutely bonkers to me how people watched Winter Solider and then reacted to Steve's opposition to the Accords like Local Imperialist Military Boy Refuses To Listen To Anyone Else. Steve just had a masterclass in how people in the government make decisions that sacrifice justice up to and including people he once trusted with his life. Of course he didn't fucking trust General Human Experimentation And I Consider Bruce Banner The Property Of The United States Military with his every action as Captain America. He had just learned that he couldn't even trust Peggy and Howard with it.

[reigningqueenofwords]

I Am King

Word count: 1,219

Read on AO3

Part 7 of Hello There

Groaning, you rolled to your side. You slowly opened your eyes, and it took you a second for everything to come rushing back. Sitting up, you weren’t sure how to react. You were still in a lot of pain, and wanted nothing more than to get out of there. To be far away from Crowley.

Crowley walked in moments later, holding a tray with some tea on it. He knew you didn’t care for that, so there was a glass of soda for you. “I’m glad to see you awake.”  He said gently. “We have a lot to discuss.” Handing you the soda, he set the tray on the nightstand. “Drink up. That will dull the pain.” Not having much of an option, you did as he said. Once you had drank a decent amount, you licked your lips.

“Why am I here?” You asked, your eyes on your glass. At the moment, the pull to Jasper was very small, allowing you to actually have a conversation.

“Because I brought you here. Do you not remember?” He asked.

Looking up, you tried to hold back the tears. “I remember everything.” Which actually really hurt to say. “I remember you acting fine one minute, and then giving me the cold shoulder. I remember you getting rid of me as fast as possible. I remember you not even giving me a reason why you didn’t want me around anymore. I remember the building with the witches. I remember it all, Crowley. I’ll ask you again. Why. Am. I. Here?” At the thought, you looked around. You gave him a bored look. “And where’s Bruce?”

“You’re here because it’s where you’re safe.” He started. “I wasn’t giving you the cold shoulder, either.” You raised your eyebrow, not really believing that. “I-I got scared.” That was even less believable. “I was scared that because you were getting close to me, that someone would use you as leverage.” He sighed as you sipped your drink. “Not only that, but I didn’t think you were looking at me the way I was looking at you.” Seeing him be all emotional was very strange. “I gave you a bloody hound. If that doesn’t scream love, I don’t know what does.” Now he was getting back to his usual attitude. “Who, by the way, is with the Winchesters.”

“You left my hound with two hunters?!?” You asked, hoping you heard that wrong.

Crowley nodded. “Oh, it’s not like they can see him. Besides, I think they’re fearing for their lives right now. I doubt that they’ll harm him.” He shrugged it off like it was no big deal.

“And who says I don’t look at you the same way you look at me?” You asked, setting your drink down. “You don’t speak for me. You don’t know what I feel.” Him assuming was pissing you off. “I’ve gotten quite used to you, you ass.” You crossed your arms and glared. “I was used to having somewhere safe to go, my own little space in hell. No one could get to me there, really. I was used to movie nights, and the random trips around the country.” Your voice was soft. “I-I just thought that you got tired of me, and didn’t want me getting any more attached.”

He pulled you into his arms. “Love, I didn’t tire of you. I left you with them for your safety.” You actually scoffed at that. “Yeah, a lot of good that did.” His hand was rubbing up and down your back. “You need to finish your soda. It’s going to help. I promise.”

Leaning back, you lifted the glass to your lips and finished it off. “There.” You sighed. “Where’s Jasper?”

“Well, for now, he’s in the stomach of Jack, and Damien.” You scrunched your nose. “And he’ll be tortured in hell for all eternity.”

“Is that why the pain is dulled? Because he’s dead?” You asked, hopeful.

He shook his head. “No, love.” Crowley sighed. Part of him hoped having that witch ripped apart would have made the spell vanish. Of course he wasn’t that lucky. “That’s what the soda is helping with. Before his violent, very painful demise, I was able to get some information from him. Such as, Belladonna numbs some of the pain that you’re feeling.” You looked at him like he was insane. “But, the potion nullifies the poison of the plant.” Of course he should have started with that! “He also said that the antidote is in his grimore, with his things, where he was keeping you.”

“I have a feeling that it’s not that easy.”

“It’s not. Cas and Sam…burned the building down. By the time I got there, his things were ash, at least what Damien could find.” He gave you a sad look.

You looked like you were concentrating. “Wait. No!” You gasped, making him look at you with wide eyes. “I heard a couple people talking on the way to my room. Something about a safe. A large one. Where they kept all the ingredients and such. Some of the more powerful of the coven kept their belongings in there, as well. That way they couldn’t have something stolen and used against them.”

Crowley stood up. “So, you’re saying, his things might be in a safe somewhere?”

“Not just somewhere. Below the building that they burned.” You grinned. “Where else would you possibly keep things that important, that you don’t want people to get to? You would put it under the building you think is most secure. You’re own.” Being able to think without your head wanting to explode was nice. You went to push off the blankets, but Crowley stopped you. “What the hell?” You snapped.

“You’re staying here, love.” He told you calmly. “That potion is still in your system. There’s no telling what you’ll do the closer you get to that building.”

You glared at him. “Just because you profess some type of love, doesn’t mean you can simply lock me up here like Rapunzel!” You swung your feet over the side of the bed. “I’m still hurt. I’m still royally pissed off at you. King or not. You were a jerk.” Crossing you arms, you tried to hide the fact that your heart was racing and you felt like you would start shaking at any moment.

“You will stay here. I will place guards outside this room, and they will be under strict orders to not let you leave.” He told you, his voice too calm once more. “I will not risk losing you. I will not risk your life. Once this is taken care of we will be discussing this. Be angry with me all you want, love, but in this realm, I am King.” Crowley stood straight, adjusting his coat. “Now. If you promise to not kill any of my men, or try to run, I will allow them to escort you around the grounds.” He tried to compromise.

Setting your jaw, you simply got back and bed and rolled over. You faced your back to him and pulled the blankets over your head. You wouldn’t even justify that with a response. Stupid demon.  

“Fine. Be that way. I’m off to see the wonder twins.” You heard his fingers snap, and he was gone.

[euc6ra]

"your big man" (mlm x reader)

warning: mentions of murder, blood, and slight nsfw

——————————————————————————

You arrive to the Hotel Cortez, you check in reception and you go to your room, room 64, then you see James Patrick March in the room you booked, he was naked and slicing someone open, you tried to run away of the horrific sight, but he saw you watching, he quickly put boxers on and he ran towards you and before you could run away he grabbed you by the waist, his body was bloody all over, and you started to panic, you were sobbing horribly, you were frightened, and you could tell he was mad, insanely mad.

"What a sneaky boy you are my dear" the big man said with a psychotic smile on his face, he was pissed, he gently carried you to another hotel room and placed you on the left side of the bed, then he layed next to you and said: "You better shut your precious mouth my boy, or else I’ll shut it for you, now fall asleep" he said threateningly and commandingly before he closed his eyes and slept, he was groaning wildly in his sleep, his groans were loud and seductive, but you didn’t mind it and just tried to sleep, you couldn’t help but notice how thick he was, how strong he looked, and how rough he was, you also noticed how peaceful he looked while he was sleeping but you were too scared to talk to him, you eventually fell asleep but you woke up at 4am due to the big man gently poking your shoulder, you also were shivering, it was a cold night.

"Are you awake? I'm so sorry you had to meet me this way my boy, I understand if you think I'm a monster but I don’t want you to see me as that, my name is James Patrick March and I also notice you’re freezing" the man said, and he gently draped a blanket over you, the blanket smelled like him, like strong musk and vanilla, a beautiful scent.

You noticed remorse and fear in his voice, his voice was really gentle, and his eyes, he looked scared, and there was so much submission and fear in his body language, you introduced yourself but you felt frightened, he noticed your fear towards him and apologized for making you feel afraid and said:

"I am so sorry for frightening you sweet boy, I want you to feel safe with me, there’s no need to fear me, I want to love and protect you, you can do anything to me if you want, you can release your anger and fear on me in any way you’d like, I wont put up a fight, I won’t put a finger on you, I'm so sorry I traumatized you"

Then, the big man starts crying silently, and then he falls asleep, you were still afraid of him but he looks really calm and peaceful when he sleeps, so you decided to hug him while he was sleeping, and you could notice he was incredibly huge and soft, then he wakes up due to your hands hugging his soft back, his eyes are teary and he says:

"Thank you for trusting me my beautiful boy, you’re an amazing man, I'll keep you safe I promise" then he hugs you back, and cups your face in his hands, then he asks "My sweet boy, may I kiss you?"

You were not scared of him anymore, you saw a gentleman now, not a cold murderer, you accepted his kiss, and he kissed you softly, gently, and lovingly, his pink lips tasted like fresh wine, it was such a beautiful flavor, he rubs your back, and you rub his hair and then he speaks up "You may do with me as you please my beautiful boy, I won’t put up a fight", after the strong man said that, you pulled him on top of you, and you both kissed passionately, he was making sure you were comfortable all the time, he grabs you by the waist and now he pulled you on top of him and he repeats:

"I'm yours my dear boy, I'll forever be yours" you both kiss wildly, he gently kisses your neck, and his hands slide down towards your lower back, he looks at you, as if asking you if it was okay, you just nodded, and he starts to push your body back and forth in a soothing motion, he starts to moan, and you start to sweat, it was a beautiful interaction, as the moments passed he moaned your name:

"Oh my y/n! Oh you beautiful boy!" he moaned loudly, you noticed his beautiful mid-atlantic accent, you kissed him passionately, and you both enjoyed each other, and he repeats between groans and moans "I'm yours my boy, yours and yours only" as his moans turn louder and louder everytime, you smiled at him and he smiled at you, then you both eventually get tired and as he lays you on his chest he says:

"I love you so much my boy, I love you, I'm yours, always remember it" he was down bad for you, and you loved him so much, you hugged his big broad waist and squeezed it lightly, that move made him moan like crazy, "Mmghh-, you know very well how to make me weaker" he said on a playful yet serious tone, you were special and irreplaceable to him, he smiles and then says:

"I love you my boy, I love you" he wanted to make sure you knew how much he loved you, you noticed so much honesty and emotion in his voice, you fell asleep in his big beautiful body, you made him yours, you made James your man, you smiled to yourself and fell asleep in his arms, you were happy because you were his sweet boy, and he was your big man.

**the end**

[hellomynameistrist]

this isnt the kind of depression ive dealt with before. no. its the kind where i have to go against every cell in my body and carry on moving when all i desire is to sit very still and motionless for a very long time. i want to turn off my brain and allow the thoughts to slip away or i want to speak without feeling like my every word is another breath wasted. but no. i spend 50% of my energy fighting off these urges and the other 70% looking after mum and fighting the urge to break down every time someone tells me i am wrong or i am not doing things right. as you can tell; i am in overdraft.

actually, im at the point where i want to do everything at night time because those are the moments i feel most alone. i have felt alone all my life and hated every single moment of loneliness yet i find that it is the only thing that saves me from falling into insanity these days.

and when i wake up, i am scared to move a muscle knowing that when i am awake, my life isnt quite mine anymore.

but she probably spent more than 5years of my life looking after me and my every needs so these months shouldnt mean anything to me. truth be told, i dont even think all of this boils down to mum anymore.. because she is getting better and it fills me with joy that i cant complain running around her seeing her progress and seeing snippets of the beautiful mother i had. i say had because sometimes, when she would be in bed and talk about her life and all it be about is medicine, death, life, and after her; i refused to think that it is her. in fact, in those moments, i miss my mum because it feels like she is not currently in the room at those moments in time.

i used to hate it but actually its watching her go on about work and bitching about a and b that i see my mum. when she went out to eat today and i saw her snap at the workers is when i saw my mum - even though i did want to seep into the walls at that moment. when she orders 100's of clothes that she finds beautiful and wont open the package until way past its return date that i see my mum.

she is coming back. she is.

so why have i not?

i think im at a point where i am acting everyday and the moments where i have to retreat in my lonesome is not when the depressed me comes out, but the real me. the real me is very much sick of this reality.

i dont really know what i am writing about anymore and it seems that i have gone on a tangent where i have randomly lost interest in writing more than this. but its very much a snippet of the vast wave washing around in my mind. but i find myself wanting to write a lot more now knowing that no one in my world is ever going to hear this and if tehy did, they wont make me feel better of different no matter what i say. theres two types, the ones that invalidate my feelings and then the others who will listen and then make it about themselves. well actually, there are two more types. the types that listen and then pretend to forget and then the ones that i would never utter a word to.

overall, i pretty much have no one to talk to. and i have no one i want to talk to which is something more than the previous sentence. perhaps i am subject to this loneliness because my thoughts and feelings are ones that ill never be able to quite explain and get the satisfaction of feeling heard.

[renee-writer]

Awake Chapter 105 Tanya

AO3

She is cleaning up after the boys’ lunch when there is a knock on the door. Bella takes a deep breath and goes to answer it.

 

Tanya is exquisitely beautiful, as she knew she would be. With the porcelain white skin, golden eyes and perfect features of the Cullen’s, her beauty is enhanced by her strawberry blond hair that hangs in ringlets to the middle of her back. Dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, she makes ever model on the planet look dull and plain.

 

“Tanya, I am Bella. Welcome to my home.” She greets her after catching her breath.

 

“Thank you Bella. I have looked forward to meeting you.”

 

Bella leads her into the living room and invited her to seat down.

 

“Edward is in the other room with my sons. I will go get him for you.”

 

She finds them, all three, sitting on the floor pushing cars and trucks around. Smiling at the image they make, she softly says, “She is here.”

 

Edward jerks his head up. “Okay.” He stands and  starts to walks out.

 

“Where go Uncle?” Samuel asks.

 

“There is a lady in the next room I need to talk to.”

 

“K. We talk lady?” He grins down at his nephew.

 

“After your uncle does.” Bella answers shooing him out.

 

He walks into the room still unsure of what he will tell her. If his heart still pumped, it would be pounding.

 

“Edward, “she stands to greet him and places her arms around him, “thank you for inviting me down. Bella is a doll.”

 

“Yes, she is.” That I am still hopelessly in love with, he thinks as he sits them down.

 

“Have you discovered who is after her and why?” He called them, explaining his abrupt departure.

 

This is something he can speak about. He fills her in.

 

“He wants to create a newborn army just to avenge someone who was using him?”

 

“Yes, it seems so.”

 

“Wow!”

 

Jacob ‘s abrupt entrance stops their conversation.

 

“Edward, who is with you! I don’t recognize the scent.” His eyes scan the room, ready to transform if it is necessary.

 

“Sorry Jacob. I should have called you. This is Tanya, a friend from Denali.”

 

“Oh.” He relaxes at seeing her golden eyes.

 

“Jacob, you must be Bella’s husband.” She stands to properly greet him.

 

“Yes. Sorry about that. We are on high alert right now.”

 

“Understand. Edward was just telling me what Riley is up too.”

 

“Yes he is slightly insane.”

 

“Anything new, Jacob?”

 

“No,” he shakes his head, his hands fisted at his side, “we must catch him before Faith is due.”

 

Seeing Tanya ‘s confusion, Edward adds, “Bella and Jacob’s daughter.”

 

“Ah, a girl. Congratulations.”

 

“Thanks,” to Edward, “Where are Bella and the boys?”

 

“Nursery.”

 

“Okay. You guys can go back to your conversation.” He leaves them alone.

[mythamongpeople]

Free! but truly free

I tried a little something with anime. Hope ya all enjoy!

........................

It had been a year since they got married, and Makoto could not have been happier. Right after the graduation ended, he and Sousuke had ended their lengthy engagement and invited all of their friends to their private wedding. Life was great – calm, peaceful,... and the fire of passion still burnt ever bright after so long, like the first day they met. Sousuke was now a respected police officer and Makoto himself was a firefighter. However, busy their jobs were, they still loved swimming with all their heart, for this was what bonded all of them together, the very thing that craved him into who he was.

         Speaking of which, Makoto got a call from Rin – who was now working alongside Sousuke in the police station, asking for a swimming race like old times. Sousuke, stuck in a case of a free-roaming criminal, told them to have some fun time and he would join them next time. Makoto on the other hand, sweaty and tired from his work, rushed to the local pool and just stripped off all of his protective gears, leaving only his swimming trunk. He was gonna go swimming, to begin with anyway so the timing could not be any better than this.

         “ Jacked, you have become Makoto! All those fire fighting and climbing and saving really do their parts in keeping you in shape.” A laughing voice rose from behind him. Makoto turned around to see Rin approaching him, his red hair pasted into his temple, and his body shone under the light, probably the result of his start-up earlier.

         Makoto was about to open his mouth to greet his friend but stopped when Rin held up his hands. “ No need to for idle chit chat, save your strength for the later race, cuz you’re gonna need it,” Rin smirked. “ I had invited everyone but they are all busy. Fat-ass they are, especially that Haru. But that’s alright, two people can still make a race, I guess.”

         Ah, typical Rin. Makoto smiled with fondness, so ever-sarcastic and witty. “ Then shall we begin, Rin, or are you just all talk and no do?” he teased.

         “ That’s the spirit. Then let we race like our old time.”

         And then they raced, round after round. With better physic, Makoto of course took the lead with ease, but Rin was not holding back either. It was not until he longer felt the wave beside him that Makoto rose back from the pool. Swiping his hair back, Makoto smiled victoriously: “ And here I thought you are gonn.....”

         He did not get the chance to finish his sentence, as his head got smacked badly and he soon fell into darkness.

.............................................................................................................................

         “Hey! How long are you going to sleep? Wake up!” the shadow shouted while snapping his fingers.

         Makoto jerked awake, his head a dizzy echo from the prior impact, his eyes half opened as he tried to make head and tail of who was currently in front of him.

         “Rin?” Makoto said, noticing the shining red hair in the dark. But something was wrong, as Rin was seemingly wearing... his swim trunk? Confused by the situation, he looked down and saw he still wore his own, which confused him even more.

         “ Oh my bad, I guess I should better show you what you have gotten yourself into”. Rin snickered from the dark and flipped the switch. And what appeared under the light now made Makoto drop his jaw in awe and disbelief. From Rin’s waist up was still Rin’s, but the below was all Makoto’s, from his trunks to the scar on his right feet. Around Rin’s naval hanging some kind of upper body? And with seem like a head Makoto’s hair color?

         “ Rin, I think I might need an explanation here or else I very much will go insane with what I am seeing right now!” demanded Makoto.

         “ You still cannot figure it out even to this point? What you are seeing right now cannot give you even the slightest idea? How can Sousuke love someone as dense as you?”. Rin’s voice filled with boredom, anger, and ... jealousy?

         “ Sousuke... You are in love with him, aren’t you?” Realization dawned on Makoto’s face. He had felt confused, anger but now all he felt was regret and pity. “Oh Rin, I wish I have kn...”

         “ I do not need your pity, Makoto. Especially if the receiving end will be from now on.” Rin said in a satisfied tone. “ And he will never know if I wear this.” With that said, Rin held up the dangling suit before him up and Makoto was in complete shock. Before him was him, but not fully him at the very least. It was Makoto’s face, only with hollowed eyes, and an agape hanging mouth, the outer skin suck in as if there was nothing in there.

         “ You see, swimming is not the only thing I brought back from my study time in Australia. With this suit in my hands, I shall win Sousuke’s love once again, as we should be from before you appeared before him and ruined everything.” Rin’s laugh echoed through the dark room.

         Fear, anger, and fury from betrayal filled him, and Makoto started shouting at Rin from the top of his lung, about how he had trusted him, how he believed they were always friends. Then a slap thundered through the room, followed by a tape to Makoto’s mouth, and Rin stood up, looking icy cold like never before.

         “Let’s tone that down a little, shall we?” a sinister smile formed on Rin’s face. “ And I have always thought you are quite a buffer, at least better than that Haru. But alas, you are so lacking in training. A waste to a potential athlete! Not to worry though. I will make sure to make good use of your body, or my body I should say.”

         And with that, Rin started to pull up the rest of the upper skin, from the huge body frame to the two defined arms. Then he used that newfound strength to push his head into place. As Rin’s head passed through the neck, and into the hollowed head above, it formed an ugly and most monstrous scene Makoto had ever seen in his life. Using his borrowed hands, Rin massaged his distorted feature into place, and when he looked up once again, there was no longer Rin in the room. There were now two Makoto here at the same time.

         “ Hi, my name is Makoto Tachibana. Delighted to meet you!” a smile that looked so alien appeared on “Makoto”’s face, a smile that signatured to Rin and Rin alone. “ It came with a voice changer as well, how does that sound, the other me?”

         Makoto tried his hardest to make some noises, but all that came out were angry muffles. His eyes widened as the other “Makoto” now came closer and sit on his lap, brushing his lips ever slightly to Makoto’s ears and whispering: “ It has already come to this point, then why don’t we have a little fun. Just think of it as masturbation if you feel guilty doing it with me, though it was never of my concern, to begin with.”

         Seeing such a lewd look on his own face, Makoto could not help as his members hardened visibly under the dim light. Rin then took out pulled down the swim trunk from both and pressed the dicks together. Then he slowly stroked both of them in one hand, the other hand holding Makoto close to him, as Rin placed kisses all over Makoto’s neck, all the while leaving behind some hickeys. As the pace fastened, Rin’s breath became shorter and more desperate, and Makoto could only whimper from all of the sensations. After a short while, Rin reached his peak, as he bit down to Makoto’s sensitive spot. Makoto could not help but come together, as waves after waves of pleasure hit him like a truck.

         After coming down from high, Rin stood up from the spot, cleaned himself from the sticky substant from his own lap with a towel, and looked at the clock. “My, My.. Makoto should be home very soon. I must be back or else he will get worried.” Rin said while gathering Makoto’s protective gear on the ground. He turned his back and left for the door, hand on the switch.

         “ Don’t worry Makoto, I will be back with food by tomorrow. And don’t bother to scream, as this pool will not be in open season till the next few months. “ And with that, “Makoto” turned off the light, and closed the door behind him. As the last ray of light disappeared, so the same way the last string of hope that this was just a cruel joke, disappeared from Makoto’s eyes.

..........................................................................................................................................

         It was quite late at night, and Sousuke returned to his dear home after a long day at work. It was quite exhausting to say the very least and what he craved more than most right now were a nice hot shower and a nice meal. After some much-needed thought, he decided that a bath would suit him better, and just when he was just about to open the bathroom door, it flung open. Makoto walked out of the hot shower while wearing his clothes, surprise painted his face.

         “ Oh welcome home Sousuke. I was not expecting you to be so late”.

         “ Work has been hard lately, we still haven’t gotten many clues regarding the criminal whereabout, and it was said he was extremely dangerous. Though I am not given much info about how.” Sousuke sighed in exhaustion, and came from behind and hugged him. Feeling the warm embrace of his love, Sousuke turned around and planted a light kiss on Makoto’s cheek. “ I am just worried about the safety of the citizens when dangers are still out there, and yet here I am, allowing myself to relax.”

         “ You and I, we both do the kind of jobs that risks peril every single day. We cannot destroy all the evils in this world, for we are all human in the very end. We are not perfect and you are not perfect either. You are not superman and you do need rest. And while we are at that topic...”

         On that cue, Makoto  rubbed his semi-hard cock against Sousuke’s thighs, and whispered: “I happened to know many methods as to ease your mind.”

         Having been away for so long and very much pent up at this point, Sousuke’s control snapped, as he hungrily pushed Makoto into the nearby wall for a deep and hungry kiss. Not breaking from the kiss they were having, Sousuke carried Makoto to their bedroom, where they continued with their love-making session. Then one after another, every piece of clothing soon slipped off as the two fine bodies bare naked against each other. Not bothering with getting a condom, just with a little gel and Sousuke already went inside Makoto in a big grunt. The heat plus the musky sweat from Sousuke’s body only fuelled their sexual desire burning in all of its glory. Body slapped against the body, sliding with each other in a symphony of kiss and bite, of suck and of love, this Makoto had never felt something quite like this before in his life.

         When the peak was near, Sousuke wanted to draw out of Sousuke’s body but was held close by a pair of legs, wrapping around his waist. Sousuke opened his eyes to see Makoto’s pleading eyes, craving for his seeds and the desire to truly become one with him. No longer feeling his own body, Sousuke pounded into Makoto’s hole like there was no tomorrow and soon after, they came in unison, until the white semen started to drip out of Makoto like milk. Exhaustion hit after the blissful moment, Sousuke rolled to his side and hugged Makoto from behind, planted light kisses on the nape of his neck, and fell asleep.

................................................................................................................................................

         The following morning, Sousuke woke up to the sun hitting his face. He looked to his side and notice Makoto had long gone and someone was in the shower. Thinking of a morning shower together, Sousuke woke up from the bed and opened the bathroom door abruptly. Seeing the shadow behind the curtain, he planned to walk up and hugged Makoto from behind but stopped dead in his track when stepping on something. He looked down and see a skin-like suit lying on the ground looking exactly like Makoto. Realization hit him and Sousuke stomped to the curtain and yanked it open to see Rin was the one in the shower. Taken by surprise, Rin could only muster a few words out before his furious face of Sousuke.

         “ I could explain everything if you just listened to me,” Rin begged

         “ And you better be. Cuz if you were not my best friend, I would have punched your teeth out by now.” Void of any emotions, Sousuke eyed Rin like it took all of what he had to not do exactly what he just told at that moment.

         And explain Rin did, as he told Sousuke about everything that he had done. He took Sousuke to the place the real Makoto was being held prisoner, who had already fainted from fatigue and hunger at that point. But Rin was long gone from the scene.

         For the next few days after Sousuke stayed at home and took care of Makoto, he returned to work only with a notice from the higher-up that Rin had resigned from work, and he left a letter for Sousuke. In the letter, Rin asked both of his friends for forgiveness, and that he would go to Australia again to be with his family, and hopefully after this had ended, they could finally see him as a friend once again.

         Sousuke could not do much except for staring blankly at that paper, his heart filled with regret and loss, for today he had lost his best friend, and it was as if a part of him also was also gone with Rin to the land far away from Japan.

................................................................................................................................................

.

.

         Rin was walking to his private apartment, or to be more precise, private to “him”. Rin walked in and closed the door behind him, and turned on the light. The room lighted up and on the wall, rows after rows of pictures of Sousuke hung and pinned, from those in his daily life to the one detailing each of his body parts. In the middle of the room was a tube filled with a blue liquid, floated a skin of Sousuke, hollowed and ready to be worn.

         Rin walked up to the sofa and fell back onto it with a thud, throwing on the table a small back with white milky substant on it. Then Rin reached to his nape and find a thin trace of the line. And he pulled.

         Rin’s sharp face fell apart as his feature distorted, and another could be seen below the layer of skin moving down from the empty head down the throat. The muscular hands also pulled back, leaving the previously defined hands now looking like a pair of long gloves. All of this fell toward his lap and revealed behind a fat man in his 40s, sweat forming all over his body.

         Then another man came into the room, this man was somewhere in his 50s, lankier and his face carried a more devious ambition. He spoke with a loud and rash voice.

         “ How is the plan going? I do hope that you do not disappoint me.”

         “ No, sir!” The man on the sofa stood up, his upper body was a huge image of obesity, a day and night contrast to his borrowed lower half and the skin hanging on his waist. “ I have collected his semen sample as you requested. With this, we will have access to the true nature of identity, as well as the path the create the perfect body fluid for your skin, sir.”

         “ Very good! With this, I can truly infiltrate the police of Japan and work my way of corruption through their system. And I will also have a fine face, body, and voice to wear! Not to mention a himbo – Makoto you said – waiting for me and fulfilling my every need!” he laughed maniacally, thinking about the new future he is about the possess. “ It was a shame though, that we only had one dose of skinsuit formula, and we had to use it on this lad Rin right here. The dumb boy sniffed out our hideout too soon, but it all worked out in the end I guess. Now tell me, does it feel good to be Rin?”

         “ So good sir! I have never felt this fit and young in my entire life. And his memory also served as a good tool to our plan sir.” The fat man replied.

         “ Well done.. Now for your price, I will let you keep this skin for yourself. And I will also give you a little prize for you. Now where the suit up, but save for the head.”

         The fat man pulled up the toned body as instructed, and when he finished, he looked up to see the tall man had already pulled out a mask version of Sousuke, probably failed copy, but he still could tell the difference. The tall man then pulled the mask over his head and pressed the mask into the right place, turned his head left and right, cracked his neck, and after a while, there was the handsome Sousuke face on an old and lanky man’s body.

         “ How do I sound?”

         “ Just like him, sir!”

         “ Good... well then now, I want you to enjoy what comes next but do not make a sound, or else I will cut off your tongue!” The tall man ordered, in a deep voice Sousuke. He then pulled the other man’s stolen cock out and begin to stroke, all the while taunting the fat man with his deep and sexy voice.

         “ How does it feel Rin?”

         “ I love you, Rin.”

         “ You made me cheat on my love, how naughty of you!”

         The fat man tried his hardest to not make a sound but he was so close to the edge. Noticing this, the other man pulled Rin’s facial skin over the other man’s skull and whispered:

         “ Now, scream my name – Sousuke”.

         And he moaned as he told, as rope and rope of white cum poured out like a fountain of youth. After he was done, the two shared a kiss, and the taller man peeled off the Sousuke’s face, while the other man could only sinked back to the sofa, hot and breathless from the wonderful experience earlier.

         “ Soon, there will only be one Sousuke and that would be me. Enjoy your time, Sousuke, you will pay for what you had once done to me and your love will also pay for it!”. Then he laughed, laugh like an omen of a dark age shall soon fall over Iwatobi.

[starshipsofstarlord]

There was a Girl...

Pairing | Jace Wayland x reader

Summary | When Clary becomes a shadowhunter, she notices how cold and ruthless Jace is. Every one seems to relate to his pain, not resonating at quite the same level. They’re all mourning nevertheless.

Warnings | Mentions of death, brief smut (handjob), angst, heartbreak, unrequited feelings (for Clary)

Requested ✖️

Quick link to my masterlist, if you’re interested in reading more of my crap 😬

Opening your eyes, you awoke to Jace's chest, his blonde hair falling over his face. You preferred how it looked when it was a little bit scruffy instead of slicked back, and you reached for one of the hanging strands. They were like seams of gold, reflecting from the light that hid within him.

Most people had the wrong perspective on the young man, they only saw a well skilled shadow hunter. But they ignored the smart and witty, yet simultaneously charming person that he was underneath all of his runes. His parabatai Alec was familiar with the set of abilities that his brother figure had, and all that he would accomplish. People thought, because of Jace’s distorted, and confusing past, that he was just another warrior to serve whatever institute that he was sent to.

But in fact, he was not. His duty would always be, to put his family and friends first. He liked to put you on the top of the list, but you always felt the need to scrap that idea, claiming that you could not be his priority from start to finish. It was as though you knew what you future held for you, and how indeed, he could not manage to protect every person that he cared about. The prospect was a great responsibility, far too much for one shadow hunter, even if they be among the best of their kind.

To put such a weight on your own shoulders was defiantly cruel, it would always end in failure, no matter what was done to prevent said downfall. There was never a possibility of saving everyone, that was insanity. The monsters had to kill, in order for you all to remain outside of Idris, and continue on with your heaven sent duty.

“Jace?” You could tell he was awake from how he smiled at the sound of your voice. “Come on.” It was an attempt to encourage him, but you were quick to realise that it wasn’t working. He didn’t like mornings all that much, for good reason too, after all you were shadowhunters.

“Jace.” Your voice became louder and clearer, up to the point where it no longer sounded like your own. He looked away from the screen, to see the new girl watching him. She had an expectant glaze to her green eyes, which were much different from the shield that was covering his own. His pools were surrounded by a shadow of grief, pulling down the entirety of his face to the point where it looked as though he no longer wanted to live.

And that wasn’t entirely incorrect, he struggled at life, often never finding a moment of happiness, and if he did, then he would paint a smile upon his face and wear it to satisfy everyone else around. He had tried to cope with the loss that burdened his heart so gravely, yet nothing made it feel okay. You’d want him to move on, whether it be to lose his vengeful esteem concerning your passing, or find someone else to confide in late at night, to stay up with talking as his head rested upon the pillow, that he needed to wash, so it didn’t smell like you.

Or even, if not to share a bed with this new person, your overall plan as you sat with the angels above would be to find some kind of peace. But that appeared to be the last thing that he wanted as he digitally scoured the city of New York for monsters to uncover, and kill. If he couldn’t protect you, the love of his life, then he would settle for doing so with humans, after all, that had been the way that you had gone. The job had been your passion, yet simultaneously your downfall, and he’d be fine if one of these days he failed to tackle a beast, and it got to him first.

“Clary.” He greeted her, wanting to remove a dangerous monster from the streets by decapitating it. In memory, he would use your favourite blade, spilling blood upon its glowing stake to keep your legacy continuing, although, it did not do much but serve to release Jace’s frustrations. It was a day in which he wanted to speak to nobody, have nobody following him, nor asking him mundane questions about what it meant to be a shadowhunter. Hell, he didn’t even know! To him, the lifestyle was nothing more than accommodated anguish, though, he had been told not to promote it using those words, otherwise, there wouldn’t exactly be many people lining up to join the adverse fight.

And one of the people that he had in mind concerning excitement over a dire and ‘exciting’ lifestyle was Clary. She was naive, and whilst she didn’t know everything, today wasn’t particularly the day in which he wished to explain it to her. It, being predominantly anything. Whilst he had managed to be nice to her during the first few days, it was out of courtesy, considering Alec had an instant distaste towards the wide eyed redhead; he wasn’t sure why, but he supposed that Clary could see a detail of himself that was hidden from the others.

However, even through Jace’s welcoming exterior, was in pain. The feeling tormented him, denying him a break from the patronising pressure, leaving him to hold blame to nobody but himself. The hurt was cemented into his eyes, reflecting as he watched all other tragedies with a stone cold expressions, them hardly affecting him, because he had and was experiencing the worst routine of torture that was possible to him. He had watched you die, and nothing could take those horrific memories from him, no matter how much he wanted them gone.

That was the last time that he saw you. When you passed in his arms, a large wound in your abdomen pouring out with blood, drowning his desperate hands as he tried his utmost to put pressure on the life threatening injury. He wanted to save you but he didn’t know how, his training had always claimed that killing the monsters was more important than saving the life of a shadowhunter from an unknown bloodline. There had been nothing to prepare him for that day in the field, he was a fighter, and taught to be so, not a healer; he wasn’t a medic, he was just a warrior. “What do you want?” Blatantly fell from his round lips as he cast an eye towards the newbie, unimpressed by her timing, or her presence at all.

Clearly, she hadn’t received the memo to leave him be, especially today out of all the rest. Alec, having the personalised intel as to why Jace was emitting a solitary rut understood why he wished to be alone, and respected the space, granting him as much time to himself as he wanted. And whilst Alec was your friend also, he could feel the deep longing that was stabbing his parabatai in the chest, and it killed him too. Your death had been so unexpected, and now without you, there was a void within the institute. And the archer felt as though Clary was trying to fill it, and he saw that as nothing more than disrespect, though she was probably ignorant to the history that wandered the halls.

Her face revelled back at his tone, but nevertheless she continued on with her prying. “I was wondering if I could join you on the hunt, I’m getting better, Izzy even said so.” Jace refrained from rolling his eyes, and contained the feeling that was trying to burst out of his chest. It was anger, directed at everyone that was still alive, including himself. There was no fairness in it, to say that he was sad was an understatement, he was eternally devastated, the death of you had broken him, crumbled him into a figure that he no longer recognised.

“No, you can’t Clary.” He dismissed her, walking away, and going to grab his seraph so that he could hunt this sucker down, and bring upon the same kind of pain to its family as its kind had down to him. God, did you look badass as you swung it, and the thought alone had tears resonating in his unmatched eyes, thinking of how it was the last relic that remained of you.

Walking casually into the armoury, Jace had his hands prized in the depths of his pockets, as his expert and quick fleeting eyes focalised on you, and the weapon within your hold. Your body leant in harmony with the blade, the sound of it woosh-img in the air satisfying to all that could hear; that being only you and the Wayland boy.

“Can i not train in peace?” You groaned, lowering the blade whence you realised that you were being watched. The eyes trailed up your side where your shirt had ridden up, raking over the rune that you had drew upon your skin only this morning. A light laugh fell from Jace’s lips as he stalked forward, taking your seraph out of your hand, and going to lob it upon the ground, but the stern look in your eyes stopped him. Instead, against his nature, he placed it down as though it were made of glass, and rose to stand before you once more.

“Not when you look that good.” The blonde retorted with a sly smirk, sliding his hands up the sides of your hips, finding absolute solace in the feel of your skin. He could be against you forever, and he would not complain, so long as it did last for such a time. “Makes me want to do things to you y/n y/l/n. Terrible things. What would the heads think?” He asked, in reference to those that were in charge of the institute.

Stifling down remarked laughter at his sensually intended words, you raised your forefinger to the space above his brows, and poked him with enough pressure, so that he would pay attention to the notion. “That you’re not thinking with your own.” You went to cross your arms, but instead, Jace grabbed them, moving down to cast his hand over your own.

“Oh, I’m not.” The shadowhunter confirmed, placing your hand upon the crotch of his sweats, applying enough force behind his grip so that you could feel him twitching. “I am indeed having thoughts from elsewhere, would you like to see my sweet?” Licking your lips, you nodded, watching as he peeled the layer away, wrapping your hand around his base, and giving him a few jerks, feeling his pulse race through his cock.

“Tell me more about what you’re thinking my love.” You bit your bottom lip, fluttering your eyelashes up at him, only to reverberate a groan from the blonde male. He panted as your pace quickened, and he was almost certain that he was going to spray his jizz all over the floor if you did not uphold your sexual administrations. His head leant back, as pleasured sounds broke through the clenching of his teeth.

And then, it all stopped as a voice, dressed in absolute disgust, written over with unmotivated shock, interrupted your little exchange. “Really guys, this is a gym, not your damned bedroom. The two of you really are disgusting!” It was Alec, and he cringed at the fact that he had seen his best friend’s cock being stroked in your grasp. Yeah, he wasn’t going to be training today, or at least, not in the asserted place for it.

“Clary.” Izzy called her name, wearing a short lived smile. Whence she studied the expression of the redhead, she was quick to pay attention to the disappointment upon her face. There was confusion laddered in her skin, masking it with creased that made her look worried all at the same time. “What happened?” The Lightwood woman asked concerned, bracing a hand upon said girl’s shoulder.

“Jace snapped at me.” The newcomer informed her, frowning at the prospect, and then after all that, he had stormed off, as though she didn’t even matter. She felt well and truly rejected, like a newspaper that had been tossed in the street, and ending up in a horrible puddle. “I thought he might have liked me, but his attitude says otherwise.”

Izzy twitched her nose; she knew what day it was. There was no way to break it to Clary easy that Jace had no amorous emotions towards her, and so instead of being blunt with the new resident at the institute, she decided to tell the woman a story. “There was a girl...” she began, knowing that after all was explained, that Clary would understand.

[gaitwae]

Could you write a fic where Loki and female reader switch bodies and have to stay like that until someone figures how to turn them back?

Comment/reblog!

Tag List: @make-me-imagine @bwemph @myraiswack @rorybutnotgilmore @loki-snape-our-hero @wolfish-trickster @lucywrites02 @mostly-marvel-musings @winterfrostsarmy @superheroesandstardust @castiels-majestic-wings @geekns @natandersonnla @cozy-the-overlord @megthemewlingquim @whatafuckingdumbass @thebookbakery @delightfulheartdream @twhiddlestonsstuff @lokistan @the-emo-asgardian @itscomplicatedx @sophlubbwriting @darkacademicfrom2021 @lilyofthesword @xlehukax @electroma89 @joucebox @high-functioning-lokipath @lokislittlesigyn @kingix-the-confused-earthling @nilavey @superfangirl-romanogers @funsized-mimi

Warnings: A disgusting amount of fluff.

“Oh, for the last time, darling! You shouldn’t be messing with spells you don’t know the first thing of,” Loki scoffed behind you, making you jump and snap his spellbook shut. It was an odd thing to remember that Loki even had a spellbook, but you had to learn new spells somewhere, right? You were just a simple mortal, and you had no use for things like magic on Midgard.

Or so he told you.

“I mean, yeah, but what’s it to you?” you mumbled, turning around to face him. “I wanted to go over a new spell with you, if that was okay.” You put your hands together in front of you and smiled up at your friend. You tried for your best smile, which ultimately caused him to cave.

“Fine,” he sighed. “Alright. But is it within the range we spoke of? What we just went over? I don’t want you to overwhelm yourself so soon in your learning. Some messes just don’t clean as well as the others do.” He put his nose in the air as if he was remembering just how uncleanable past messes had been. He took your hands. “Let’s do the spell. Hurry. I haven’t got all day and I truly don’t want to be stuck in some kind of situation we can’t sort out ourselves.”

“It sounds like you’re noncommittal,” you teased, reciting the spell you had just read out of the spellbook not even seconds before Loki opened the door and walked in on you.

“I can be plenty committed. Just not to your self-destructive need to be a sorcerer,” he said airily, speaking through the incantation; he didn’t even comment on it. 

If he had even heard it.

When you finished the rest of your incantation, the spell started to take hold. You became woozy, and so did Loki. You crashed into his arms, and he collapsed on the floor with you in his embrace. He smelled like mint and some kind of harsh cologne, but it fitted him. It was the last piece of consciousness you could hold onto before you awoke...

+-+--

“Hey, Lokes, are you awake? Hellloooo?” Tony’s voice came. It sounded far away. You stretched, and you could still pick up that cologne from where you laid. It was less intense than you thought it would be from hardly smelling it at all. You opened your eyes.

“Where am I?” you asked, and funnily enough, so did Loki. Odd choice of words.

“Stark!” someone called. You sat up to see who the person was, but your blood ran cold at the sight. “Stark, what happened? What has been done to me!? Where is—?” 

They stopped as well. There you were, your face, your voice, but... not you. You looked down at your hands. They weren’t yours. Your heart dropped significantly.

“How’s this even possible?” you asked, hearing Loki’s voice once again. “Am I—? Did we—?”

“Don’t do anything!” your voice came again, but littered with Loki’s speech pattern. “If you stain that Asgardian leather, I’ll—I’ll—”

“Oh, you’ll what?” you scoffed, standing. “I don’t even know how this happened! I’m surprised you haven’t started running your hands all over me!”

“Oh, please, we’re friends first,” you—Loki—mocked. Tony was staring at the two of you like you were talking about the finest boots to eat. He lifted a finger, but Loki raised a hand to stop him from even trying to speak. “It appears you’ve gotten us into a mess we cannot fix, haven’t you?”

“Will someone else have to change us back?” you asked. You stood, managed to walk over to Loki, and sat down. “I didn’t mean for us to... to...”

“Swapped,” Loki sighed. “We’re swapped. Either it’ll go away on its own or we’ll have to go to Asgard to convince my father to reverse us. How in the Nine did you find such a spell? It shouldn’t even be in the books!”

“Should I leave you two alone, then?” Tony asked. “Since, uh, you’re both acting extremely weird?”

“Yes,” you and Loki chorused. You crossed your arms and Loki mimicked you. Stark left quickly, leaving you two alone in the medical room, where only a blink ago you had been in a completely different room with Loki in his own body and you in yours.

Once he had shut the door, you watched your own body twist with Loki’s mannerisms and expressions. They turned to you and pushed your chest. You scoffed, gasping. “How could you even experiment with such a spell?!” they shouted. “We might be stuck like this forever! You made me mortal!”

“I wanted to swap our perspectives,” you admitted, gulping, “but I didn’t think it would lead to this!”

“What else could it have meant?!” Loki scolded. They put their hands in the air, then dropped them. They began pacing. “I’m stuck in your body! I may have wanted to hold it, but I certainly didn’t want to have it!” 

You bit your lip. “I didn’t want to have your body, either,” you mumbled. “I just wanted you to see how I look at you... I had thought...”

“Thought what? That suddenly I would fall for you? You’re out of luck there, mortal. It wouldn’t have gone the way you wanted it to,” Loki sighed, shaking their head. They sat on the cot where they had awakened from the spell. 

“I didn’t know you knew,” you said meekly. You looked down at your hands. Your heart was racing. It didn’t usually race when you spoke to Loki. The hands that had become yours, hopefully for a short period of time, were long and pale and so different from yours.

“How could I not, little mort—Y/N?” they asked. “It’s almost like watching someone sink into a depression; everyone can see it, but no one talks about it. I know you have feelings for me. I don’t blame you, though.”

“You don’t feel the same, do you?” you asked, sitting down on your cot. Loki shrugged. 

“I didn’t say that. I said I wouldn’t fall for you by seeing myself the way you do.” Loki picked at your nails. “Y/N, we shouldn’t be talking about this now, we should be finding a way to get out of each other’s bodies.”

You huffed a sigh. “We should ask Strange. He knows insane magic, and I doubt if I use your powers anything will change. I already botched this spell.” You laughed but stopped when you heard what it was. It wasn’t your laugh. It was odd. Laughter was determined by one’s body, so it made sense that it wouldn’t have been yours... 

“Oh! Brilliant idea!” Loki praised falsely. Clearly, they must have still been upset about the swapping bodies thing. 

You were disappointed in yourself for it, too. “Can we just go and see him? It’ll take no time at all.”

“He isn’t even home," they sighed, wiping their face with your hand. It was hard to watch. "Why must you be so perfect? Being so adorably shy that you cannot even ask me if I love you back?"

Your heart thumped. No, no. Loki's heart thumped for you. "...Don't mock me while you're in my body. I can still hurt you."

Loki narrowed their eyes. "You wouldn't."

"I so would!" you announced, crossing your arms and jutting your hip out.

"Hurting me goes against loving me, doesn't it?" Loki asked, slightly panicky. "You couldn't draw my blood, could you?"

"I won't draw blood," you promised. "I just have your daggers on my person, and I've never really cared for this stupid Asgardian leather..."

"This is going to be a long time waiting for Strange to be back, isn't it?" Loki groaned. You nodded happily. You scooped your own body to his body's chest.

"Oh, yeah. Swapped, for better or for worse."