#and how much we've researched putting a spin on words

[narrative-driven-off-a-cliff]

I feel like we need to talk about Watergate more because we clearly haven't gotten over it

[papermint-airplane]

Ok ok so let me explain what it is I'm doing here. Or try to, anyway, because it's admittedly a dumb idea and it's far from original, but I like to think I'm putting a little bit of my own spin on it. First, let's discuss what the original game, Façade is.

What is Façade?

So I'm going to do my best to explain what this game I'm parodying/playing homage to is in my own words. There are plenty of Wiki articles out there about it but I've spent enough time thinking about this cursed game and I'm not about to add actual research on top of it so take everything I say with a pinch of salt.

Façade was created in 2005/2006 by the two guys whose names are on the title screenshot I posted before. These guys.

From what I have gleaned over time, they created this "game" as a masters thesis project (I could be wrong but I already said I'm not looking it up so my source is "Trust Me Bro"). This isn't really a game as much as it is a tech demo to show off their brand new advanced (for the time) AI text parser. For those of us who don't speak übernerd, it pretty much means the game can understand you. Kind of. You type sentences on the screen and the AI does its best to figure out what you mean. Using this system, you can kind of have a conversation with Trip and Grace and they will react using pre-written voice acted lines. That sounds incredibly impressive and it is, especially for someone like me who can barely understand the magic going on under the hood, but what this basically all boils down to is that you can fuck with the characters so much. They have certain triggers which, if you trigger them, can either get you scolded, contribute to the couple's argument (more on that in a second), or outright get you kicked out of the apartment. For instance, the first time I played, while Grace was going "oh my Goooood [Player] you look sooooooo amaaaaaazing", I replied "you look terrible" and instantly got the boot from Trip.

The Story

We've already established that the point of Façade is to be a tech demo first and a game second, so the story isn't as impressive as the code driving it. You, the player, are an old college friend of Trip and Grace's and have been invited to their apartment for a "dinner party". The problem is, there is no dinner, there is no party, and all the couple does is fight in front of you. It is up to you, dear hapless player, to help them with their marital issues that you are, in no way whatsoever, qualified to address. Alternatively, you can just troll the shit out of them.

That's it, that's the whole story. Couple invites you over, couple doesn't feed you, couple proceeds to scream at each other for reasons unrelated to the absent food. And yet, as simplistic as it is, it's captivating for reasons that aren't easily articulated. This is the sort of game that must be experienced in order for you to really get it.

I can't stress enough how impressively made this game was for the time. We're talking absolutely groundbreaking stuff and probably part of the reason AI is going to take over the world and enslave us all. But somehow, in the process of changing the face of technology as we know it, these two guys gave us the worst characters in the entirety of videogame history.

Grace

Grace is a bitch. There, I said it. It's true. Anyone who's ever played Façade knows it's true. And yet, you can't fully hate her because she is justified in her bitchiness. Her husband is shallow, materialistic, and is cheating on her with everyone. She's unfulfilled in a career she didn't want and feels suffocated in her current lifestyle. However...listen, you're just going to have to play the game or watch a Let's Play because the whininess has to be seen to be believed. Grace and Trip are already fighting when you arrive at their apartment (you can hear them shouting at each other through the door) and Grace does a piss-poor job of pretending they weren't. She is the one who throws the first verbal punch and she's the one who keeps it going even as you are frantically trying to mediate. Trip calls her cold but honestly, I find she comes in way too hot.

Trip

Lest you think I am on Trip's side in this debacle, I hate him too. He's the other side of the coin. Where Grace is standoffish, Trip is overly gregarious. Where Grace sees the value in the little things in life, Trip constantly brags about his wealth and possessions. This fool forces you to look at his vacation photo. Yeah sure the vacation in question was to the Italian countryside, but he keeps talking about that photo long past the point where both you and Grace are uncomfortable. Trip is deeply insecure and it shows. It's a bit more difficult to explain what it is that makes Trip just the absolute worst, because he doesn't wear his emotions on his sleeve the way his wife does. He's slimy. He's trying to keep the conversation light (at first, anyway), but he does it in the greasiest way possible. Again, you're going to have to see for yourself in some way.

What I'm Doing Here

I've been watching a lot of Façade Let's Plays recently. *Trip voice* "That should be obvious" (if you know, you know). We all know Sims parties never go well so it was a very small step from "game about a disastrous get together" to the Sims. I'm not reinventing the wheel here. Besides, this very concept has been done before, but when has unoriginality ever stopped me? You shut your whore mouth if you're in the comments agreeing with me on that, by the way. So, to ease myself back into the Sims world after my extended unplanned hiatus, I'm going to kick back, turn free will on high, and let the magic of the Sims take over. I have gone out of my way to give Trip and Grace traits that I feel correspond extremely well to my reading of their Façade counterparts.

Trip, for all his rich guy posturing, is still a country boy at heart (much to his dismay), which is why I gave him country music and PB&J as faves. Can't Stand Art isn't exactly canon, per se, but it conflicts with Grace's artistic trait and I thought it would give them something else to fight about.

Grace, as much as she romanticizes the starving artist trope, is a rich bitch through and through and wouldn't survive five minutes on the street.

I'm hoping for fireworks with these traits. Knowing Sims 3, I won't be disappointed.

And finally, who is going to be invited to this evening of pain? I suppose I could send Trip and Grace out on the town to make friends but that's boring and I don't want to spend more time with them than necessary so...

Funnily enough, the game seems to know what I'm trying to do. All of Grace's randomly-chosen friends are the rich and famous of Bridgeport while Trip's are just regular folks. I find that very interesting. Maybe Sims 3 has a touch of Façade's magic AI, too.

[xthelastknownsurvivorx]

Fan Fiction Author Self-Rec

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love❤

Thanks for the tag @orchidscript! Now the hard part is actually choosing haha but I'll do my best~

SNL | Season 45 Episode 2 | HRH Prince Henry & FSOTUS Alex Claremont-Diaz — RWRB, Canon Divergence - SNL Episode

I'm very proud of the research and work that went into this one to making it feel like a real Saturday Night Live episode, especially how much I've learned about writing short-form comedy sketches. Writing in a stylized format, plus trying to squeeze in a lot of character development into a short amount of words, was also a fun challenge. Although it's canon divergence, I actually wrote this is almost like a replacement for Alex's London trip in book canon, which meant I had to get creative with how I reinterpreted Alex's changing impression of Henry.

Burn (They're Watching Us/I Hope That They) — RWRB, Lyric Rewrite - Burn (Hamilton)

One of my few angst/hurt no comfort fics, in the form of a lyric rewrite/parody. I always thought there were a lot of parallels between Alex's feelings after the email leak and Eliza's following Hamilton publishing proof of his affair, and it was great playing on that for this fic. Specifically, it's the lyrics "The world has no right to my heart / The world has no place in our bed / They don't get to know what I said" that inspired this piece. I also love many of the lyrics and rhymes I managed to come up with.

Some Element of Mystery — RWRB, Stripper!Henry (sort of)

I had not originally intended to join in on the stripper!henry agenda but this idea took hold of me and I couldn't resist! I thought centering the fic around mistaken identity in which Alex only thinks Henry is a stripper was a hilarious concept, plus a way to put my own unique spin on the prompt since humor and crack treated seriously make up most of my personal writing brand.

The Frustrating, Intoxicating, Complicated Sum of Him — RWRB, The Way I Loved You AU

Old Taylor Swift songs have a special place in my heart and it was really fun reimagining this classic into an fic for Alex and Henry. I tried to strike a balance between taking directly from the lyrics and reinterpreting them into longer scenes, and I'm pretty happy with the result!

Tales From the Junk Drawer — RWRB, Post Canon

This was a hard choice for the last one, but I had to give it to my first fic for the fandom. I really liked how my first attempt at firstprince banter came out, plus some of Alex's introspection about his sexuality that I wove into the work. I guess weaving in introspection is also part of my brand.

Bonus +1: Untitled — RWRB, Reincarnation AU, College AU

I know that this is technically just for things that we've already written, but in my defense this WIP is just over 80k in, hopefully over 80% done. This is the Reincarnation College AU I've shared snippets of before, and I feel like I can't not include it for how much I love it—it's like a novel and I'm just so, so proud of it. I like to think of it dealing in heart, paired with comedy, all while dealing with some pretty heavy themes as well. Hopefully coming to you by September 2023~

not completely sure who hasn't done this yet but I think @athousandrooms @celeritas2997 @14carrotghoul @cheesecurdsgravyandfries @adreamareads? but also anyone who I missed who wants to do this please take this as me tagging you

[final-girl96]

Chapter Twenty-Eight

"Are you okay?" I looked up at Randy, "hmm?" I haven't been able to get the call out of my head. I could get the chill that was running down my spine to go away. I couldn't get that feeling of being watched to stop. "Umm. Yeah, sorry. I just can't stop thinking about the murders at the Stab premiere. I really don't want to go to this party, Ray. I just don't have a good feeling." He sighed and set the chips he was eating down. We had met up in the courtyard for lunch because while I was getting a call from Stu, Sidney was skipping class and trying to convince Randy that it's all happening again.

"It's happening again. I know you don't want to believe it but it is." He sighed again, closing his eyes, "just because two people were killed at a movie that's based off of our life doesn't mean it's happening again." He picked his chips back up and I slapped it out of his hand. "Hey! What the hell?" I leaned closer to him so only he could hear me. "Since I came home I have been feeling like someone has been watching me." I emphasized The word someone. "You think Stu is watching you?" He whispered. "Or you know he is. Has he contacted you?"

I could tell him the truth. Tell him what happened this morning. But for some stupid reason I lied. "No. But I do feel like someone is watching me all the time. I always have this uneasy feeling in my chest." He nodded and looked around, "do you have that feeling now?" He asked. I just looked at him and he seemed to understand. "Well, Dewey is here, maybe you should tell him about this." I shook my head, "no. Please don't say anything." He looked at me before nodding, "fine. I won't say anything. But… if it gets worse or you hear from him you need to tell Dewey." Little did he know I already had heard from Stu.

I decided not to go to the party at the sorority house tonight. I stayed in the library and did a lot of research and studying until I had no choice but to leave. I hated walking across campus back to my dorm at night by myself. I knew someone was following me but I didn't turn around. I just kept walking. Of course my pace did speed up a little and so did my heart. I almost sprinted when my dorm came into view. When I opened the door I looked back but nobody was there. I quickly got inside and headed upstairs to my room. Everyone else was at that stupid party.

I dug my keys out of my pocket and as soon as the lock clicked a body was pressed against my back. "Hey, baby." A chill ran down my spin. "Now open the door so I can show you just how much I've missed you." With trembling hands I twisted the doorknob and swung the door open. Stu pushed us inside and shut the door making sure it was locked. He walked around me and went over to the bed, sat down and smiled at me. "Nothing to say?" He asked. I didn't say anything and I didn't move. "Okay. I'll start then, sound good?" He dug in his jeans pocket and pulled a piece of paper out. He unfolded it and read it outloud.

I'm sorry. I love you but I can't forgive you for what you have done. I can't just forget that. Make sure you get out and far from here before the police get here. Don't be stupid, Stu, I'm giving you a way out because I do still care about you even if I don't agree with what you did. And don't leave this note behind.

Love YN

XX

It was the note I had left him before I left the cabin. He folded it back up and put it in his pocket again. "You love me but can't forgive me? We've been best friends all our lives. I've been in love with you since I can remember. I've always treated you right, haven't I? I've never hurt you. I saved you. Billy would have killed you if it wasn't for me. You tricked me into believing you wanted to be with me. That you wanted to stay with me. You hurt me by leaving. You also pissed me off. When are you going to understand that you're mine?" His voice drew darker at the end, his eyes darkened as well. "I think I should remind you of that. Show you how much I've missed you while I show you who you belong to."

I slowly stepped back towards the door. "Don't be stupid, babe. Just get over here and get on your knees. Be a good girl, hmm. Show me you're sorry for leaving me." I shook my head, "you are not my best friend. My best friend wouldn't do this. Do what you did," I said. "You're right I'm not your best friend. I'm your boyfriend. Your boyfriend who has missed you." He chuckled and lightly smacked the side of his head. "I'm also the only person that can keep Billy from killing you and your friends. They're at a sorority party, right?" He stood and took slow steps towards me.

I reached behind me and wrapped my fingers around the doorknob. "Don't do it," he said in a deep low voice. I turned around, fumbling with the lock. I yelped when his hand weaved into my hair and yanked me backwards. "I told you not to do that," he growled in my ear. He locked the door again and pulled me over to my bed, pushed me to my knees, and unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. His hand was still tightly gripping my hair as he freed himself. His cock hard and red. He slapped it against my lips. "Open." I kept my mouth closed and tried to pull away but his grip tightened. "NOW!"

I gasped at him yelling at me and he took that chance to push himself into my mouth. "That's it. Open up, baby. Be a good girl and suck my cock." He pushed himself until he hit the back of my throat making me gag. "Good girl." He pulled himself out and shoved back in fucking my mouth. Drool ran down my chin, tears slid down my cheeks. I put my hands on his thighs to brace myself and tried to relax my throat. I can't say that I wasn't enjoying this because a part of me was. "Fuck!" Stu pulled himself out of my mouth and made me stand up. "Strip. Now!" With trembling hands I did as told and stripped out of my clothes until I was standing in front of him completely naked.

Stu looked me up and down, licking his lips and humming. "Fuck have I missed you." His hand shot out and wrapped around my throat. He pulled me towards him and brought his other hand down on my ass hard. "Daddy's going to fucking ruin that pussy," he whispered into my ear. I could feel myself growing wet. But I couldn't let myself enjoy this because it was wrong. "Fuck you!" He laughed then turned me around, forced me to bend over the desk beside the bed and then slammed himself into me.

[gerudospiriit]

follow up to this ask

Nabooru paced the length of her desk, twisting a crimson strand of hair around her fingers. With how long she strode the same path waiting for Aveil, she could have carved a a path into the the deepest depths of the desert. She purposefully kept her gaze from roving to her desk, the pile of ash sitting atop it. She could still see it in her periphery. Feel the heat radiating through her body. The flames of the torches rising and roaring around her...

When the door finally opened, her second striding in with the least amount of urgency possible, it took considerable control not to scold her for taking so long. She purposefully neglected to request the guard hurry or inform Aveil of an emergency to keep from alarming the young woman or her second. At least not until she could speak with the latter face to face.

"You called?"

Nabooru paused her pacing, and, judging by the way Aveil's brow wrinkled and she frowned, she didn't hide her frazzled state as well as she hoped. "Yes, we need to talk."

"You're not breaking up with me, are you?" she teased, trying to lighten the mood. Her specialty under more...normal circumstances. "What's eating you Nabs? I haven't seen you this out of sorts since you were dealing with Ganondorf."

"I'd rather be dealing with him," she muttered, resting against the desk. She folded her arms. "That dignitary from Hyrule wrote us back. He basically said there was nothing they could do, and that all of our concerns were unfounded. He dismissed us, as usual. they won't help and the won't investigate further."

She laughed bitterly and added, "Oh, but we're invited to attend the princess's coronation. Said they would be honored to have us."

The Gerudo second in command's visage darkened. "I can't say I'm surprised, but I'm disgusted. We presented evidence for all of it, but they refuse to investigate?" she hissed, hands curled into fists at her sides. "We can't let this stand. They'll keep doing this to our people and pretend they had nothing to do with it. We have to do something."

"I know," Nabooru agreed, the words of the letter tumbling through her consciousness again. Boiling her blood again. She sucked in a breath to calm herself. Her high emotion seemed to trigger...whatever happened to her before. "As much as I respect the princess for trying to ease the the tensions between our peoples, her efforts are in vain, apparently. The damage from the war, from Ganondorf...it's too much for the fools to put behind them and realize we're just trying to live our lives. They won't be content until we're gone, it seems."

Aveil mirrored Nabooru, arms folding over her chest. "We can't just attack them. The fight would be over before it could start once the Goron and Zora come to Hyrule's aid. And we can't just leave either. We've just started building the town, and we weren't exactly making it big enough for everyone to move into."

"We'll have to be smart about it, but I think our only choice is brute force." She inhaled, the scent of burning paper lingering in the room. "Really plan things out and ensure we don't make a single mistake. Do our research and give ourselves any advantage we can. Find allies, maybe..."

"Allies where?" Aveil questioned, eyebrow raised. "The Kokiri aren't exactly fighters, and those bird people from the north, the Rito...if they weren't interested in the squabbles of the rest of Hyrule before, I don't see why they'd be keen on helping us now."

"I don't know. Beyond the desert? We can travel more now. There might be more out there..." In another realm...

Despite her attempt at putting a positive spin on her suggestion, it still sounded unconvincing in her own ears. They needed a solution, and they needed it quick. Traipsing the desert, speaking and making deals with other tribes or kingdoms if they ever found them...would Hyrule's hate for them allow them that kind of time?

She couldn't get desperate. Desperation bred mistakes, missteps they couldn't afford. She couldn't lose herself. Not like he did.

Her mind reeled back to the letter, the pile of ask she left it in. She licked her lips. "There's...something else."

"Please tell me it's good news."

Nabooru circled to the other side of the desk. "That letter...I..." She trailed off and dipped her index and middle fingers into the ash, dragging them along the wood and leaving two sooty lines in their wake. "I burned it."

Aveil stared, unimpressed. "Is that a bad thing? I think I would have done the same."

"No...no I mean I burned it. With...with..." she held up her hands, half expecting them to glow. "With I don't know what. Magic? My sage powers don't deal with fire though, so...I don't know what happened. The torches went crazy, too. I was reading it, getting angry and..."

She trailed off, pulse quickening. Magic. Forced to carry the legacy and power of the Sage of Spirit irked her enough, and now...now something else awakened in her. What did it mean? Where did it come from? If she lost control of it...

Nabooru swallowed, finally glancing up to find her second in command staring at her in disbelief. "Like, fire magic?" she asked. "You've never practiced magic though. Did Ganondorf teach you something?"

"No, I wouldn't let him even if he offered." She wiped her hand on her pants. "I need to figure it out though. I...if I lose control...I don't want to hurt another Gerudo or destroy the fortress."

Aveil tapped her finger against her cheek. "That's a good point...Though if you lost control in Hyrule Castle..."

"Better there than here, sure, but I'd rather not," Nabooru sniffed.

"Just a thought," she defended, the hint of a cheeky grin on her lips. "My only suggestion would be to talk to one of the priestesses. They're the ones that would likely have any knowledge of magic or...weird magic suddenly manifesting in people?"

Sinking into her seat, she rubbed her temples. "Yes...I guess you're right." The thought of speaking to any of them about this already threatened to split her head with a migraine. "I'll go find them in a bit. Keep this to yourself for now. I'll see what's going on with these powers, and maybe we can do some research on lands outside of here. We'll talk to the rest of the Elite in a few days."

Aveil nodded. "Let me know if you need anything. Go take a relaxing bath or something first. Calm yourself down."

Nabooru waved her off and watched her leave, but seriously considered her suggestion. Stress relief would do her some good. Keep people from suspecting the worst in seeing their chief stressed out more than usual. She stood again, chair legs scraping against sandstone, and headed back to her room to take Aveil's advice.

[syn4k]

do your thing, word boy

hell yeah. ok so this one isn't gonna be put under a cut because i hate you all and you WILL read my words, boy

most of our writing style inspo comes from books! wow! words influence words! who woulda thought

the one singular novel that i can say with confidence is the most like our writing style is All the Light we Cannot See by Anthony Doerr.

ATLWCS (god what an ugly abbreviation i'm never using that again) is a story told from two viewpoints- one of a girl living in France, the other a boy in Germany. set pre-and-during-and-post WWII, the two spin ever and ever closer to each other over the course of the war. there's shockingly little romance in it and the focus is on the life of these two children, for children they are, rather than their deaths.

i cannot explain the plot, for it circles back in on itself and everything is connected and gods it's so GOOD. the author according to the information on the inside jacket of the cover spent 10 years researching this and i can tell. houugh.

here's a picture of the 3rd or 4th chapter. we have read this book about 7 or 8 times by now, as you can tell from the dog-eared page

the lilting, rolling pace, the casual insertion of details that make the whole world come alive, and of course the STUNNING descriptions really made an impression on us when we first read this.

i will admit that we did not buy this book, we took it home in our backpack one day in 6th grade after flying through the first few chapters and it never found its way back. we've changed schools three times since then. the book has not.

for me, what really makes this so incredible is just how.. casual the writing is? it effortlessly explains the minutiae of life by outlining a couple key points. we saw that and we were like oh my god that's so good. i HAVE to do that.

-:-

in second place for Books that Irreversibly Changed our Brain Chemistry is The Places beyond the Maps by Douglas Kaine McKelvey.

set in Andrew Peterson's fictional fantasy world of Aerwiar, the story follows the path of a man who lost his daughter to a twisted evil and who had lost himself to grief, resigning himself to the fact that she was beyond all knowledge (to him) dead. swearing an oath to bring her home or bring her justice and failing both, he goes as a wanderer in the long wilderness and eventually finds his way to meet his Maker Himself.

needless to say, we are currently reading this out to a friend and the writing style is *impeccable.*

where Doerr's prose is clear and smooth, utterly graceful and allowing the reader to glimpse clearly the truths that lie deep underneath like the seafloor upon which all else is viewed, McKelvey's is haunting and etched with some undefinable grief through which, occasionally, one can divine the simple truth at the center of all things.

needless to say, being put at the end of a collection of fairly lighthearted short stories matching the tone of the original saga, this novella hit us like a fucking Train and we have been stealing some of his long, rambling, impossibly patient descriptions for our own works for a while now. no you can't get this on its own and without missing out on some massively important context which would require an entire rant about the wingfeather saga on its own but that's another ask entirely and ANYWAYS continuing on

we've actually been leaning heavily on this specific description of loss within the self for our characterization of Pixl in Ashes! if you've read the book and if you look closely enough, you'll see some parallels there :]

-:-

this doesn't have as much influence on our writing as a whole but i'd like to give an honorable mention to anne carson in third place who effortlessly blends the present and the past in glowing verse and- ok. Ok let me share some screenshots from her translation of the play Antigone and one singular picture from her translations of Sappho's poetry and you'll see what i mean

how will i ever be normal about this. spoiler alert i won't and i'm happy about it. like. gestures vaguely. one day we will be able to focus enough on this to make a whole post about it but for now i think that's it, thanks for coming to my ted talk lol

[downwiththemutantnjnjaturtles]

We Met Within This Screen (chapt. 4)

[Donnie x fem reader]

sfw, chapt. 3, pt. 4 here

Sighing, you set your phone face-down after sending your last text to Bo. What an abrupt end to something that had been so good. You were confused, a little taken aback and honestly sad. You'd thought the two of you were getting along well. Bo was smart, well-spoken, funny, and all around, a really nice person. He listened to your venting and seemed like he had a response to everything. Always, he had some random fact to hit you with whether it was about biology, chemistry, astronomy, language—you weren't sure where he got all his knowledge from. He'd never mentioned school, if he went. He didn't mention a lot about himself, actually. 

People come and go, someone had once told you. You guessed that he was one of those passersby, as much as you wanted it to be more. 

More?

When had you started thinking that? More what? 

You were tempted to pick your phone back up, to check and see if there were any new messages. Not that you could expect much; Bo had been so curt about his exit from your friendship that it was left at his last text, "Again, I'm sorry." You wanted to say something, but what was there to say? It was his decision. A sudden, uncharacteristic, and frankly odd decision, but still, his. Thinking back on it, you tried to remember any instance you might have crossed a line, or maybe said something you shouldn't have. That's what made you open up the messages again, scrolling up and up and looking for anything weird, but finding nothing of the sort. It had all been normal up until when you texted him about the clamor you'd heard outside your apartment building. And then it went flat—he didn't even respond to it, just said his apology and his goodbye before going offline.

You wanted to take your mind off it with a game, but as you looked through your list and saw the one you and him had played together, you knew it was near ruined for you. It just wasn't the same to play alone or with your acquaintances. An otherwise boring game made fun by one particular person, but now it was barely what it used to be.

Unfortunate. 

The next morning might have felt more normal if it weren't for the fact that everyone was pretending like it was. For the sake of secrecy from their father. As far as Donnie knew, Splinter still didn't know anything was or had been going on, and he intended to keep it that way, too. He wanted to tell his father, he did, but all he saw coming of that was reprimanding, or at the very least an awkward discussion, and possibly, time in the Hashi. He was already feeling the aftermath of his actions; he didn't need any more. Especially as he checked the messaging app one last time, only to find it empty, aside from her goodbye. 

Donnie stood at the kitchen counter, mask off and groggy as usual, scrounging for something to eat. Maybe a cup of coffee (if they had any), which he was looking for when Mikey bounced in. Normally, his brothers would avoid him when he was in one of his "moods". He hadn't a passionate temper like Raph but a slow-brewing one, the kind that festers until it's alleviated or boils over. Cold quiet was his thing. 

But Donnie knew why he was here. So did Mikey. He had that familiar glint of mischief in his eye. 

There was no coffee, so he settled for some kind of pastry they'd found while looking through the dumpsters. Really, the item was fine—only the packaging and appearance was defective. It was a wonder just how much food grocers wasted over arbitrary reasons, but regardless, he was happy to oblige his secret sweet tooth. 

From the corner of his eye he could see Mikey waiting eagerly for him to turn around and regard him. To listen to whatever he was about to talk his ear off with. Their youngest brother was more often than not bright-eyed in the morning, something Donnie's morning fog could not always entertain. He picked at his food at the counter for a moment, mind wandering back to his night and subsequently,  the unresolved feelings. Dreadfully unresolved, he groaned inside. And they probably would continue to be, as after sleeping on what had happened the previous night, thinking about her, he realized something that made his face flush. Oh, no. 

He froze in his place, suddenly very awake. He looked over his shoulder and found Mikey was distracted rummaging through the food for his own breakfast, and with a faint cringe, tried to sneak out of the kitchen undetected. No way would he admit to Mikey's words on the rooftop that night, the ones that made him flinch with embarrassment. The same ones that bounced around his head despite all attempts to stuff it down. "You like her, bro." 

Things involving him could never be simple, could they?

Abandoning his plate, Donnie began tip-toeing out of the room right behind Mikey. His foot hit the leg of a chair and caused a creak—he winced. As he thought, Mikey looked back, "Why are you sneaking around? You didn't finish your breakfast. Can't go on patrol on an empty stomach, dude." 

Before Donnie could even answer, he continued in a whisper, "Plus—"

"Whatever it is, Mikey, not now," he cut his brother off, "last night was the end of it, alright? You need to let it go." It sounded harsher than he would have preferred, but he felt the need to drill it into Mikey's skull that it was over, that it was just something he'd have to deal with. There were a lot of things they dealt with despite not liking it. With time, he'd forget—more accurately, be able to ignore— and maybe he could find the same enjoyment in his brothers once again. That sort of friendship.  But at the moment, it was ruined for him—he got a taste of something more and it was taken away what felt like second later. 

Mikey's face fell. Donnie couldn't stand that, seeing him upset over something he'd said. He had a bit of a soft spot for their youngest, no doubt. Just wasn't always obvious. 

"Aren't you afraid you'll regret it?" he asked, voice soft. 

Fear was a strong word, but of course Donnie was anxious. It was the thing holding him back from being able to simply compartmentalize everything, to put it in a box and on the metaphorical "deal with this later because it's uncomfortable right now" shelf. Or to deal with it at all, as ignoring his problems with studying and unrelated research and experimentation wasn't exactly prime management. He knew that. 

After a while of thought, Donnie was able to give him an answer. "Well…I mean, how could I not be?" he inquired in return before leaning out of the doorway to scan the lair. Everyone was either in their room, the dojo, or there, in the kitchen. Mikey has always made him feel most comfortable, and he was sure that was the case for the other three, just that they had other ways of showing it. He was certainly easy to talk to; if Donnie weren't so careful of his mouth and what came out of it, he could probably spew way more to him than he liked. Mikey could come through sometimes, though, which prompted him to keep going, "It was a big thing for me. We've been disconnected from everything else for so long that it was just...exciting, to get a look into what it's like. Being 'regular', you know?" 

Mikey sat down on one of the bar stools, feet idly shuffling against the floor as he folded his arms and rested on them. "You didn't hear it from me, but I'm a little jealous," he said playfully, but Donnie was aware that it was the case. "Maybe I'm pushing you to go after her because I'm trying to live vic–vicrous–v–…" 

Donnie smiled, he couldn't help it. "'Vicariously'?" he suggested. 

"Yeah! That," Mikey beamed, nodding. "You get what I mean." 

"I understand." 

The conversation died off soon after as Donnie decided to get breakfast over with and do whatever needed to be done before they left for patrol that night, darkness falling earlier due to the upcoming winter. It wasn't too cold for them to be out yet, though, so that still meant a chilly patrol in the Autumn breeze. He hated the cold. 

As Donnie was making himself busy at a circuit board in his lab, he heard the beads in the doorway shift, and to his surprise, Splinter came shuffling in. 

"Sensei?" 

He put down his soldering iron, spinning around in his chair. "Something the matter?" 

Splinter ran his fingers along a shelf on the wall as he wandered by, careful to not disturb any of the items lining it. Beakers, recently-repaired electronic parts, projects put on pause, things that would loathe to be broken. 

"There is always something," Splinter replied enigmatically, "I would not be here if that weren't true. Would you agree?"

 I'm compromised!

Donnie had a strong but hidden dislike for vague speaking, even if he did it himself sometimes. When spoken to you it's much more bothersome. 

Splinter waited for his answer, looking at him expectantly. "Donatello?" 

"Yeah, um…yes, I would—I would agree. I suppose. So...what is it again?" Damn his stutter, he couldn't get away with anything, hardly. He was only able to stifle it just enough. 

Picking a random pipette on the desk next to Donnie, Splinter studied the green liquid close for a second before his nose twitched, and he put it back down. "You have been very busy lately, it seems. What is it that you work on all day in here? Or are you playing games?" 

Donnie's heart thumped. His hand found that particular spot on his neck and began to scratch, and Splinter looked at him dead in the eye. He should have known; there was no hiding anything from their father, he was too good. Stupidly, infuriatingly perceptive. Donnie caught himself scratching that spot and slid his hand away, he hadn't even noticed he was picking at it again. He knows, Mikey told him, I probably look like a guilty idiot right now, I'm—

"I haven't been playing games," Donnie blurted out. 

Quizzically, Splinter gestured at the computer screen on the other wall, which had the menu of the game he'd opened up just earlier. Reminiscing over it even though it had been only a couple of days since he and his friend had last played together, but he stared at the screen as if it had been years. It made him realize how easily he'd gotten attached to that. Well, to her. He was on the fence about whether he wanted to try playing again or not and left it on.

Oh, you have to be kidding. I'm a fool in a man's shoes. 

Donnie laughed uncomfortably, "You caught me, Sensei," he said, "I guess I have been playing games more often lately." 

It was honest enough, right? 

Splinter hummed and cupped his hands behind his back. "I see."

Straightening out, Donnie dipped his head a little. "I'll...lay off on them. Sorry for lying. I've just been really distracted recently." 

"Liars never prosper, my son. Take care of yourself." 

He then left. 

So he didn't know. Donnie still couldn't say it with any degree of confidence, because Splinter would trip them up here and there, but it was assurance enough to know that if Splinter was aware of what had gone on between the four brothers and his new—rather, former—human friend, he would have confronted Donnie about it. Or all of them, considering it was now a secret they were all in on actively hiding. And on top of that, Raph and Leo didn't know Mikey was conspiring. Layers and layers, he sighed. 

With Splinter gone, he let out a breath of relief. Too close. Much. But, swiftly evaded. A chuckle left him, not of humor, but more because he was actually feeling a little confident. Just a little. They were really hiding something from Splinter; it was reason enough to pat himself on the back, nothing got past Splinter. Except for him.

Briefly, he thought of Mikey's outlandish idea as he spun back around in his chair. "Mikey, you are crazy," he mumbled to himself as he took his soldering iron, resuming his work from before. "But..."

Chapter 5

[medicallyinevitable]

Medically Inevitable 

Chapter 14:- Pitiful Pining

Characters:- Ethan Ramsey, Arielle Valentine, Sienna Trinh, Ethan Ramsey, Harper Emery, & Danny Cardinal 

Pairing:- Ethan Ramsey x Arielle Valentine (F!OC)

Warnings:- Light angst & minor language 

Word Count:- 2000+ words 

And a special thank you to @akshara16 for pre-reading this chapter💞

Arielle’s PoV:-

You’re reading your 18th, well actually what seems like the 100th text book when someone knocks on your bedroom door. You answer with a more irritated tone then you meant.

"Hey, you okay?" The door opens to reveal Sienna with two mugs in her hands.

"Yeah...”, you try to smile but even you know it doesn't quite reach your eyes. 

"You don't seem okay though," Sienna says as she comes inside and hands you a mug. You look inside the mug to see what's in it. "I made us some hot chocolate." 

You smile, accepting your cup with a genuine thank you as you move, making space for Sienna to sit. 

"So what is it?" Sienna asks sitting beside you. 

You shake your head, just thinking about the case makes your head spin. "Just a patient’s case. I’ve been running test after test but every result was negative.", you sigh, "and the patient happens to be a major asshole to say the least.", You smile sadly. 

"Is it the P. I. T. A?" She asks. 

"P. I. T. A?" 

"Pain in the ass," she laughs, so do I. 

"Oh yeah… Danny mentioned that earlier. That name fits him perfectly!" I respond laughing. 

"So what do you think he has?"

"I don't know anymore," you sigh again, "I ran almost as many tests as possible." 

"I'm not any expert but maybe if the two of us try to find it, it'll be easier?" 

You look at her a bit surprised, "You'll spend your free time diagnosing my patient?" 

She smiles at me, "Of course. That's what friends are for right? To help you." 

You look at her with a grateful smile. "Thank you." 

"You can thank me with strawberry glazed doughnuts once we're finished with this.”, she replies with a silly wink.

"Deal." 

You spent the next thirty minutes discussing the symptoms as you catch her up with the diseases you've managed to ruled out. 

In between, you notice Sienna acting a bit weird. But whenever you try to bring it up, she deflects your question so you decide not to press further. 

Another half an hour goes by with Sienna’s weird antics and you decide you’ve had enough. You close your book and turn towards Sienna. She tries to act like she doesn’t notice you looking at her but eventually she looks up.

"What is it, Sienna? I can tell you want to ask me something but you’re not.”, you say.

"Uh-what?" she asks nervously, her eyes darting around everywhere but you.

"I don't know what you’re talking about." 

"Don't lie, Si!," you narrow your eyes. 

But she doesn’t budge. You keep asking her until she finally accepts.

“Come on Si, no secrets between us right?”

"Okay fine!... you’re hiding something, Ari,", shesays catching you off guard. 

"I-Me? I'm not hiding anything," you try to laugh it off. 

Now it's her turn to narrow her eyes. "You are! See, you’re behaving really weird."

"I'm not behaving weird," you oppose. 

"You are. And don't you dare deny it again.”, she says in a serious tone.

"You can talk to me, you know that right?” Her voice changes to the caring and concerned tone reserved for her closest friends.

You ponder for a minute, whether or not to tell her. You’ve shared so many secrets with Sienna before, you know she's your best friend and that you trust her completely. 

Before you know it, you start blurting out everything. From how Dr. Ramsey assigned you the case, to how he wouldn’t reassign him to someone else, and then your confrontation which was probably the most idiotic thing you could have done. Then how you both shouted at each other, you completely blanking out at the fact that he was your supervisor and could pull you from the program the next second if he wished, and how that lead to triggering a panic attack, then lastly…

“I don’t know how, our faces were mere inches apart, breathing ragged, and I had absolutely no idea what I was doing-“ You throw your hands up, cutting yourself off as you jump up and pace around the room.

“I mean I could have kissed him for God’s sake! What was I even thinking?! If it weren’t for my pager I don’t know what I would’ve done…”

“Woah, calm down Arielle. You need a break.” She makes you sit down and drink a glass of water, waiting until you’ve calmed down a bit. 

“Now, tell me what else happened.”

“What?! Nothing else happened!” How Sienna knows you so well eludes you, nonetheless you try to hide it.

“Something else happened, or else you wouldn’t be spiraling this much. I know you Ari, you always have a cool head under any circumstance.”

You sigh, knowing there’s no use in hiding it. “Well I did see something…”

“Go on.”, she says urging you,

“Well it all started after the whole almost kiss thing, my brain was like scrambled eggs and my shift had already ended so I took my car and drove around until I realised I had no idea where I was, and to top that disaster off I was starving…”

———————A few hours before———————

“Ugh, I think I drove all the way to the other side of town. And I’ll have to drive all the way back to the apartment and then start research for Nigel’s treatment again. And I’m hungry because instead of eating lunch, I decided to unleash my wrath of Dr. Terminator. Ohh, can this day get any worse-“ In the midst of your little blabbering session, you spot a classy French cafe across the street. 

“Well at least a day this bad always has room for improvement, and right now I’m starving.”, you park your car and head inside.

The smell of roasted coffee and baked buttery goods hits your senses the moment you enter the cafe. The serenity is a nice change of pace compared to always busy and bustling Edenbrook, dimly lighted and decorated with beautiful vintage items.

“At least I won’t bump into anyone here that I know.”, you think as you stand in the queue.

You decide to order a vanilla frappe with drizzled salted caramel and go for a regular chocolate doughnut to satisfy your sweet tooth. After the barista brings your order, you move towards a nice secluded corner and sit down at the table.

You slowly finish your doughnut and coffee, savouring the taste as you gaze out the French style window. You’re about to dispose of your trash when a familiar sweater shirt catches your eye.

“No way…” As you hide your face with a medical journal which you randomly fished out of your purse, you peek over the top to see Dr. Ramsey sitting across…

“Is that Dr. Emery?”, your mind recalls the time when you saw them in a patient’s room, quite cozy with each other. And now they sit a few tables away from you, talking as her hand is over his. You pretend to read your journal as you watch both of the doctors get up and throw away the remains. You follow pursuit and slowly exit the cafe making sure they don’t notice. You stand at the side of your car door and watch as they both edge closer and closer, her hand now on his jaw. Their faces are barely an inch apart now, as he leans in to close the distance.

“That’s- I can’t-“ 

Not being able to look at them, you get in your car, slamming the door and speed away as fast as you possibly can, ignoring the tears that brim in your eyes.

————————end of flashback———————

”Oh Arielle…..I’m sorry.” 

“It’s alright.”, you assure her when pretty much everything going on in your life is anything but alright. She gives you a look.

“I- okay well there’s nothing I can do about it, and it’s not like anything would have happened, it was merely a stupid crush.”, you reply wondering whether you’re trying to convince Sienna or yourself. A long but comfortable silence passes, you both just sit and immerse in everything you’ve just blurted out. 

"How are things between you and Wayne?", you say desperate for a topic change.

"It's as usual I guess?" she says now as gloomy as me. "We haven't had a proper conversation in a while."

You try to comfort your best friend as you mentally curse the idiot.

"He's an idiot, Si, " you tell her. "If he can't value you, he's not worth it Si."

"He was not always this way you know... We've had happy days. But ever since I started my residency he became... distant." 

You put your hand on top of hers in a comforting manner and give her an understanding smile.

"You can always talk to me about it, Si. You know that right?"

She nods and shoots me a smile, a sad one, nonetheless a smile. That’s a slight improvement.

We talk about our messes of relationships for a bit more before Sienna decides we had enough gloom and doom and it was time to make some happy memories. 

“Okay, what did you have in mind?”, you ask.

A grin forms on her face as she tucks her knees in and speaks, "Why did the Dalmatian go to the eye doctor?" 

“Medical joke hmm?” She nods and nudges me to try to answer. After thinking for a moment, I shrug.

"Because he kept seeing spots.", she says following with a fit of laughter. The joke isn’t even that funny but even you end up laughing your heart out. That's the thing with best friends, everything becomes a thousand times better when they’re by your side.

"Oh-" Sienna tries to say recovering from her previous laughter session, "There's another one."

"What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil?" 

"Umm...What?" you ask when you fail to find an answer.

"Get dressed up, the doctor is taking us out!" We both break into another fit of laughter, laughing till tears form in the corner of your eyes.

You wipe tears from your eyes, still smiling broadly.

Your own reflection catches your eye in the mirror. Your balayage hair is now slowly falling out from the messy bun you tied up before, your eyes now have bags in addition to your dark circles and lastly you look like a zombie with your smeared makeup.

“I look like a hot mess.”

Sienna laughs. “Well I have a night shift today so I’ll look worse than you after it.

You join her in another wave of laughter until Sienna’s phone goes off from her room.

You watch her as her eyes light up and then morph into worry as she looks at herself. You give her a look.

“Oh uh… Danny said that he would give me a lift to my shift and stop by to get coffee.”, she shouts as she rushes into her room. You chuckle watching her frantically trying to make herself presentable as she grabs her bag and heads downstairs.

“Bye Si! I’ll see you later-“ She’s already run off. With a smile, you head towards your room for a bath, dinner and then a date with more textbooks.

************************************************************

Authors’ Note:- Hey everyone, Chapter 14 of Medically Inevitable is finally out! We know that the release was scheduled much much earlier but life happens unfortunately and it took us quite a long time but from now on, our regular schedule will continue again!

Anyways, let us know if you enjoyed this chapter and your predictions of what will happen next! Are Harper and Ethan really a couple? And if they are, why did Ethan almost kiss Arielle? And what’s happening with Danny and Sienna? As always, it means a lot to us if you comment and reblog and have a great day/night everyone!

Love,

    @drariellevalentine & @mysticaurathings

Medically Inevitable Taglist:-

@whimsicallywayward15 | @iemcpbchoices | @sizzlingcashherohumanoid | @archveexz | @deepikakkannan | @nishas-paradise | @maurine07 | @archxxronrookie | @adrex04 | @everythingchoices | @rivenni | @annekebbphotography | @mrsethanfreakingramsey | @jamespotterthefirst | @natureblooms24 | @katkart122 | @udishaman | @hopelessromantics4life | @custaroonie | @mvalentine | @queencarb | @lisha1valecha | @ezekielbhandarivalleros | @ejrownsme @the-pale-goddess | @justanotherrookie | @miss-smrxtiee | @missmiimiie | @choicesfics | @romewritingshop | @taniasethi | @keithandlevi-ontheroof | @open-heart-ramseyyy | @crookedkittyperson | @sistatribe | @tsrookie | @starrystarrytrouble | @caseyvalentineramsey | @alina-yol-ramsey | @openheartthot | @gryffindordaughterofathena | @binny1985 | @groovypalacehorselover | @epiclazershark | @aarisa-frost | @shanzay44 | @jooous |

Let us know if you’d like to be added to the taglist!

[pinkpaganofficial-blog]

Content and trigger warnings for:

- eating disorder[s] (eds), i.e anorexia, bulimia

- me talking about my suicidal thoughts and venting (I'm ok i just need to like... "word vomit" i guess)

- abandonment by friends

- feeling repression

~~~\\

So i doubt most people on here who follow me know that I suffer from mental illness but I do and have for a very long time. All of the symptoms and effects really came out after my grandfather/best friend passed away when I was 11, 12 years ago. I fell into a hole of depression, anxiety, and disordered eating. From the time I was 11 until I was around 14 I had a very hard time with food. I was suffering from bulimia and I would do the routine binges and purges I had set for myself through the day. I'm surprised my teeth survived all of the stomich acid assaults on them honestly.

I was lonely. I felt so fucking alone in the world. I didn't have many friends. The friends I had were pretty fairweather at the time, as we were kids. They'd hop to the coolest person in their opinions on sight and leave me in the dust, and then come back when they were done, or something happened, whatever. It wasn't stable, and I was always afraid of just being deserted again. My friend who stuck with me, my grandfather, was gone. My grandmother was so in shambles that she doesnt even remember the year after he died at all. My mother is chronically ill, and even though she is and will always be there for me as long as is possible I just couldn't tell her how bad I was feeling. Maybe it was guilt because she has problems that I felt far outweighed mine (haha oh god there's the tears that actually stings).

And my dad is... well.. a dad. Sometimes dads just don't understand things like mental illness, or being an unwell person. My dad loves me. I know that, and I love him a lot too. But he can't understand how these things affect me as he's basically neurotypical in every way. He tries. But I can't find empathy there, and a lot of the time there's misunderstanding when we talk about mental illness. So I didn't tell him anything then either.

I would stay in my room a lot, or be out in the woods a lot. I would scratch up my arms with my nails until they would bleed and I would cry. I felt like I didn't care if I died at that time. My parents raised me religiously in the church and I tried very hard to have a relationship with their concept of a god. But I couldn't because to me in was just emptiness. For me, in that sense, there is nothing there. So my loneliness was running even deeper than just the physical. It was spiritual as well. And idk if anyone reading this has experienced spiritual emptiness, or even is a spiritual person, but please believe me when I say it's Hell.

When I was 14 I rode my bicycle out to a bridge near my home out in the back woods type country. The old train bridge kind with the big cement blocks at the bottom of the pillars holding them up. I remember sitting on the very edge of it just looking down at the cement. I really wanted to jump. Honestly the only reason I didn't was because of my mom. She's the reason I stepped back, got on my bicycle and rode home. Albeit I was crying the whole way home, stayed out in the garden to finish crying, washed my face in the creek and went inside and straight upstairs to my bed and I slept until the next day.

When I was around the end of being 14 I tried repression. I started trying eating normally (which has wrecked me internally, I have major digestive problems as I've always refused to go to a rehab centre, which in itself is not good for me). I started pretending to have a relationship with "God". I tried the whole "cool hip Christian kid" spin from when I was that age until 17 or so. I pushed back my depression, my fears and anxieties and eds to see if I could be happy. And I pretended to be happy for a while. And I fooled a lot of people.

Things weren't by any means okay though. My school work was suffering as it always had, but since the work was harder it was also suffering harder. I picked up smoking cigarettes. I also picked up alcohol more and more. I dated a 21 year old and lost my virginity to him at 16, after much coaxing from him. That was an extremely bad 8 months.

My saving grace and my recharge at the time was a Bible camp I'd attend in the summers. I went for 12 years. Now that I think about it.. that camp was my only constant thing for a very long time. It was always there. And even when it wasn't camp time, the place was so close I could just go talk to the live in managers when I had questions. While my relationship with a god I don't believe in was strained and a facade, the people I met are amazing and have helped me a lot.

In fact, at that camp I spilled a lot of my struggles to my group of close friends. We were just a few girls, only 17 or so. But they had all been through things just as bad as me. Some so close it scared me. I felt accepted by those girls who are now beautiful strong women. So I opened the flood gates of what I had been through. All of my dark times and feelings, thoughts of dying and plans to do it, the bulimia and how it hurt my body, my 21 year old ex and what had happened to me, my struggles in school, my guilt towards my mother as her pregnancy with me put her in her wheelchair, my panic attacks and the anxiety that I'd felt for so long, my loneliness and my desperate want to not be alive. Basically just like, ALL of it. I don't really think that was a gate I could've closed even if I tried at that point. It was just a lot.

It took a while to talk about everything, and by the time I'd covered everything even more young folks like us had come over to sit. I was sobbing. My friends weren't very far behind either. Someone was rubbing my back and another person brought me tissues. I finished and everyone was kinda quiet and sad. One of my friends said "Hey can we all just kinda sit together and pray?" and I said that I thought that was a good idea. So we sat. And we just prayed. Even if they were words floating up to an empty space where I see no god, the solidarity that I felt with my friends and those around showing that they cared about me was overwhelming. I wasn't alone. I had friends. REAL friends who weren't looking for the next best thing. And I didn't feel as empty anymore. Knowing that I had people who genuinely cared for me and everything I'd been through and everything I was made me feel so much more worthy of living, it showed me I wasn't nothing.

A lot has happened since those dark times. I've had other dark times. Anorexia claimed me at 18 as a sufferer, and I still struggle with it to this day. I had a physically and emotionally abusive sociopathic partner in the Autumn of my 21st year. I had a whole 2 year ordeal with someone that I'm not even going to talk about, as this person and I have BOTH put it behind us and forgiven each other and are now friends. I alsp dropped out of high school in grade 11.

But I've had a LOT of light times. I started actively loving my body at 21, which was the first new constant in my life. I took action and got a breast reduction from G to C cup for my health at 18. I left the church and started understanding science better. The spiritualist in me called for more, so I delved into research on Paganism and Wicca. What I found was what I needed. It was the second new constant I needed. So now instead of 1, I had 2.

I live with my fiance now. He's someone who I was schoolmates with in highschool. After a few years of not keeping in touch, we hung out. We got close again. And after a few years we started dating. We've had bumpy patches. 1 break up due to his mental illness (again, it rears its ugly head). But that was short lived. And we are actively improving ourselves while being there for one another. Last March I asked him to marry me to which he said "Well, I was gonna ask you when we got our own place, so obviously yes." (I've dated a lot of people, so I am so happy that it was him I'm going to be with, no offense to any of the guys, girls and other folks I've been with and am friends with). He's my third constant.

I have so much more now than I ever dreamed I could in those dark times, friends.

Moral of the story is:

Friends come and go. But you'll find someone, or multiple people who will care about you enough to stick with you as much as you wanna stick with them.

Don't give up on yourself. You're gonna have a lot of bad times. Life happens and we can't do shit about it. But life also has a lot of really good times worth looking forward to and holding close to heart. You can love yourself no matter who you are or what you look like because you're more than a name or a number on a scale. You're a complex person with real feelings who is worthy of self love. And love from others too.

Pain sucks. Life can suck a whole fucking lot. So much you want it to end. But through all the struggle, the hurt and the mental illness, you still very much deserve a good life. If not more, because you're actively trying to enjoy being alive in a very hard time.

So yeah. Thanks for reading this. I just needed to talk. I felt like I was going to explode and my Instagram isn't really the place to put this.

Take care of yourselfs. Cherish yourself and your time here. Make the best of your situations as much as you can. Hold your loved ones close in mind and heart. And don't be afraid to talk.

[wandabherrera]

Love Me, Want Me, Need Me!

The title should establish the pace for what we're going to talk about, so here we proceed to how about we have a good time!

Narcissism Is it just me, or has our general public become progressively, narcissistic? Up until the previous few years, I truly hadn't heard this word utilized previously. In any case, to get the ball rolling, a portion of its implications are expressed beneath from the online source, Wikipedia:

Narcissism is a term with a wide scope of implications, contingent upon whether it is utilized to depict a focal idea of psychoanalytic hypothesis, a psychological instability, a social or social issue, or basically a character characteristic. Besides in the feeling of essential narcissism or solid confidence, "narcissism" as a rule is utilized to portray some sort of issue in an individual or gathering's associations with self as well as other people. In ordinary discourse, "narcissism" frequently implies swelled affectedness, pretention, vanity, arrogance, or basic self-centeredness. Applied to a gathering of people, it is now and then used to mean elitism or an apathy to the situation of others. In brain research, the term is utilized to portray both typical self esteem and undesirable self-assimilation because of an unsettling influence in the self-appreciation.

Well, OK, that essentially summarizes everything isn't that right? That is to say, take a gander at those terms above, do you realize individuals like this? All things considered, shockingly they appear to spring up wherever you look. Nonetheless, to be reasonable here, we as a whole have a tad of narcissism in each one of us, isn't that right? That is to say, sure, most have shivered at the prospect of having our image in the paper, on the TV, put over the cinema, or our names on paper so anyone might see for themselves. It's simply common to see the value in it when somebody gives us a pat on the back, discloses to us that whatever we're doing is having an effect in the existences of others. Or on the other hand possibly we're only OK with ourselves, knowing who we really are. Indeed, it's just human instinct when something, or somebody causes us to feel much improved. In any case, when self-advancement, pomposity, and love-of-self rule somebody's character, all things considered, there lies the issue.

At the point when somebody is narcissistic, there attributes are so effectively distinguished they should drape a sign on their backs in intense, red letters saying, "Love me, need me, need me!" They stroll with a specific disposition and strut, realizing beyond any doubt that the world ought to consistently be spinning around them. Having said this, permit me to give you a portion of my perceptions from 49 years of living:

Narcissistic individuals not just profoundly love themselves, they consistently need others to feel something tolerating, tolerating nothing less. They should have that feeling or they will in general get exceptionally disturbed like little voices running inside a kindergarten jungle gym - would you be able to say, "Spoiled Hollywood Celebrity, Corrupt Politician, Greedy Corporate CEO, Cocky Sports Figure, or Fame-Obsessed Housewives of Wherever?" They urgently need your endorsement and are nauseated when they don't get it. They should feel like they're focused at the center of attention, reluctant to acknowledge even the smallest flaw or analysis from others. They love the mirror, the camera, their appearance, and their accomplishments regardless of how huge or little. Some are bizarrely noisy and ruling in discussions (both one-on-one and particularly among gatherings). Their conclusions are God-like and gospel, and not open for translation. Heaps of them are bigots, and possibly provide for others less-lucky if there's something in it for them (picture in the paper, and so on) On the off chance that somebody they know gets any sort of awards, consideration, karma, or favorable luck they either twist in a fetal ball or rapidly center their inclinations back around themselves. They essentially can't deal with sitting quiet while others succeed, on any level, and they have outrageous trouble working under an immediate control or authority. They should be the manager in light of the fact that nobody can at any point improve. Some even go as far as lying, and disparaging others trying to take their prosperity and dispirit their character so they seem prevalent. Lawmakers are aces at this, we see it ordinarily all through the wireless transmissions.

In case you're associated with any sort of relationship with a narcissistic individual (marriage, fellowship, business partner, and so on) consider how a plunk down lunch with them would go. Would the discussion be adjusted? At the end of the day, would both of you express thoughts, and remarks about one another, 50/50? Or then again would the words being verbally expressed be 99% about them? The most straightforward approach to advise is to utilize a slack in the discussion to say something, anything, about you or others in your life. Would they draw in, or circle the words toward them once more? Would they rapidly get disturbed, in any event, turning to censuring you to shoot the vibe great adrenaline back somewhere inside their veins? Is it true that they were on their PDAs messaging, in any event, talking, while at the same time looking at their watches in light of the fact that their time is significantly more significant and important than yours, at any rate, in their eyes? Is it safe to say that you were the one looking out for them for lunch, knowing through history that they were in every case late? In any event, during everyday connection, do they invest the energy to really converse with you on the telephone, or is correspondence rigorously restricted to text's and messages? Do they have outrage issues when being addressed, or requested to accomplish something they feel is underneath them? Is it true that they are fixated on looking better (heaps of plastic medical procedure, and so on), advancing their self-conceded excellence at whatever point given the opportunity? Do they persistently experience difficulty associating with others on an individual level, continually putting the fault and deficiency on the contrary party when things go off to some far away place? Is it accurate to say that they are hyper-serious, plunging towards sorrow when they lose at anything? Do they loathe dismissal of any shape, example, or structure? It is safe to say that they are difficult to if it's not too much trouble, regardless of how enthusiastically you attempt?

Getting the image here?

Narcissistic characters are executing our general public's essentials. We see it all the time on TV, the web, and in the work environment with voices yelling back attempting to cause us to feel unimportant and minor. So why have their numbers filled as of late, and where does this sort of conduct come from? Many trust it begins during youth, and the believing is (from perusing loads of brain science) that parental childhood has a huge impact. In the event that a youngster is spoiled, given all that he/she at any point requests, is rarely told "no," is overprotected, shielded, or even mishandled it can prompt a befuddled condition, subsequently, narcissism as a rule follows. A lot of this isn't simply the people shortcoming, yet how they act during adulthood is the manner in which they decide to carry on, once in a while not willing to abandon their juvenile instabilities.

I've had the favorable luck of meeting some effective individuals who positively had resumes which could uphold being a narcissist. Nonetheless, humbleness was their overwhelming characteristic. Regardless of their popularity or fortune, they generally conveyed on a level battleground with myself, as well as other people. They didn't require the recognition, or slap-on-the-back appreciation to traverse the day. Maybe, they let their work and accomplishments communicate everything, making liking them undeniably more simple and willing.

As expressed above, I think at some time, we've all been somewhat liable of being narcissistic in some capacity. In any case, deciding to be modest and unassuming is by a long shot, substantially more alluring.

[bountyofbeads]

.@NPRKelly's interview with @SecPompeo went in a direction we weren't expecting. As described on @npratc: He screamed, swore at her and said she couldn't find Ukraine on a map.

See the transcript for yourself: https://t.co/2mlbtnKwxy https://t.co/RqC7v2liHj

Why a question about Ukraine sent Mike Pompeo into a rage.... The secretary of state screamed profanities at NPR reporter Mary Louise Kelly after abruptly ending an interview.

By Cameron Peters  | Published Jan 24, 2020, 8:00pm EST | Vox | Posted January 24, 2020 |

Secretary of State Mike Pompeo allegedly verbally harassed an NPR reporter for having the audacity to ask him about his leadership ... of the State Department.

During a Friday interview with Pompeo on US policy toward Iran, All Things Considered host Mary Louise Kelly asked the secretary of state whether he owed an apology to Marie Yovanovitch. Yovanovitch is the former US ambassador to Ukraine who was subjected to a smear campaign led by Rudy Giuliani and was unceremoniously removed from her post in April, bringing an abrupt end to her 33-year career as a foreign service officer.

Pompeo was not pleased with the change in topic or the question. “You know, I agreed to come on your show today to talk about Iran,” Pompeo replied. “That’s what I intend to do.”

Kelly, noting that she’d confirmed with Pompeo’s staff that Ukraine would be part of the interview, didn’t give up — and Pompeo abruptly ended the interview.

But that’s not where the story ends. Shortly after the interview aired, Kelly revealed what happened after she turned off her recorder:

NPR's Mary Louise Kelly says the following happened after the interview in which she asked some tough questions to Secretary of State Mike Pompeo. https://t.co/cRTb71fZvX

Here's part of Kelly's interview. https://t.co/LwzBl4mZOC

The State Department did not immediately respond to Vox’s request for comment.

This isn’t the first time Pompeo has lashed out at reporters for asking tough questions. But Pompeo’s fury this time seems directly related to the growing controversy around the treatment of Yovanovitch.

Why the question about Marie Yovanovitch matters

Yovanovitch was removed from her post as ambassador in April 2019; later, it surfaced that in a July phone call with Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelensky, President Donald Trump smeared the ambassador, describing her as “bad news.” On the same call, he intimated to Zelensky that “she’s going to go through some things.”

In November, Yovanovitch testified under oath in the House impeachment inquiry that his comments “sounded like a threat.”

Since then, new evidence has emerged suggesting that associates of Rudy Giuliani, the president’s personal lawyer, had Yovanovitch under surveillance in Ukraine.

In WhatsApp messages to indicted Giuliani associate Lev Parnas, Republican congressional candidate Robert F. Hyde not only provided details about Yovanovitch’s movements, but told Parnas, “If you want her out they need to make contact with security forces.”

Additionally, on Friday, ABC News reported on the existence of a tape of the president ordering Yovanovitch’s firing. A voice that sounds like the president’s can be heard demanding that an aide “Get rid of her! Get her out tomorrow ... Take her out.”

Following the release of Parnas’s WhatsApp messages by the House Intelligence Committee as part of a larger documents trove last week, Ukraine announced that it had opened a criminal investigation into the purported surveillance of Yovanovitch.

Pompeo, meanwhile, cast doubt on the allegations in an interview with right-wing radio host Tony Katz, saying, “I suspect that much of what’s been reported will ultimately prove wrong.”

In the same interview, Pompeo conceded that it was his “obligation as secretary of state” to open an investigation into claims that Yovanovitch had been surveilled.

However, he failed to offer any defense of Yovanovitch, a veteran of the State Department who has served under both Republican and Democratic administrations.

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Transcript: NPR's Full Interview With Secretary Of State Mike Pompeo

Published January 24, 2020 5:07 PM ET | NPR All Things Considered | Posted January 24 2020 |

In an interview on Friday with All Things Considered co-host Mary Louise Kelly, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo took questions about U.S. policy in Iran and about the former U.S. ambassador to Ukraine, Marie Yovanovitch.

Mary Louise Kelly: Secretary of State, good to see you.

Secretary of State Mike Pompeo: Good to be with you. Thanks for having me on the show.

Let's start with Iran. What is the plan? And on diplomacy, specifically, is there any serious initiative to reopen diplomacy with Iran?

So we've been engaged in deep diplomatic efforts since the first day of the Trump administration. We've built out a coalition that is working together — Gulf states, Israel, many European countries — to deliver on the three central outcomes that we're looking for.

But in terms of U.S. engagement with Iran, is there any talks underway, any plan for talks?

You know, we never talk about private conversations that are taking place, but the diplomatic effort on this front has been vigorous, robust and enormously successful. We built out a significant coalition that has put pressure on the Iranian regime to do what we've asked: to cease its processing of uranium, reprocessing of plutonium, to stop its missile program and the development of its missile program. President Trump made clear they're not going to have a nuclear program that is capable of delivering these weapons around the world. And then finally, working to convince them that their model, this proxy model that they've used to conduct terror campaigns, assassinations in Europe, assassination attempt right here in Washington, D.C., is not tolerable.

You use the word pressure. This is the maximum pressure campaign that President Trump put into place a year and a half ago when he pulled out of the nuclear deal. But in that year and a half, Iran has behaved more provocatively, not less. So is maximum pressure working?

Absolutely working. To put it in context, this is 40 years. When you say worse, they held American hostages in our embassy in Tehran. They had our sailors kneeling. The previous administration gave them billions and billions of dollars to underwrite the very actions that they're taking today. When we came into office, it took a lot of work to fundamentally reshape the diplomatic, military and economic landscape. So it didn't happen instantaneously, but we made an enormous amount of progress in delivering —

But in the last year, they have targeted tankers in the Gulf. They have shot down a U.S. drone, and they have attacked Saudi oil facilities. Is that the desired outcome?

No, of course not. Of course, we don't want them to do those things. And we've raised the cost for doing this. The response in the previous administration when they undertook those actions was to reward them — to reward them, to give them billions of billions of dollars to allow countries to trade with them, to allow them to do all the things that you're seeing today, the ramifications, the tail, the end result of what the previous administration is the activity that we're seeing today. The money that underwrote Hezbollah, that underwrites Hamas, that underwrites Shia militias in Iraq is a direct result of the resources that were provided to them for the eight years prior to us coming into office. We are turning this around. We have reduced resources. We've seen it. They have fewer dollars available. This is beginning to place real choices in front of the Iranian regime. And you can see it, too. You can see in the protests inside of Iran. You can see the Iranian people not happy with their own government when they have to raise the fuel cost. All the things that are undermining this regime's ability to inflict risk on the American people are coming to fruition as a direct result of President Trump's strategy.

President Trump's strategy has included pulling out of the nuclear deal. Since the president came to office, Iran has moved closer to a nuclear weapons capability. They are closer today than they were when he took office. They are spinning more centrifuges. They are stockpiling more enriched uranium. If the plan is to keep Iran from getting a nuclear weapon, how do you do that when they're not abiding by the limits of the old deal and there's no new deal in sight?

You're picking the wrong moment to start your analysis. This is the fundamental flaw of the JCPOA [Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action] itself.

I'm picking the moment [crosstalk] when the president pulled out of the nuclear deal, and since then, they are closer to having a nuclear weapon.

This is a regime that has been working to develop its nuclear program for years and years and years. And the nuclear deal guaranteed them a pathway to having a nuclear program.

It was a certainty. It might have been delayed for a month or a year or five or 10 years, but it guaranteed them that pathway. This administration has pulled the Band-Aid off. It's been realistic. We accept the facts on the ground as they are. This is a regime that lied to get into that nuclear deal. You can see that now. And what's going on at the IAEA [International Atomic Energy Agency] in Turquzabad where we now know that they lied about the scope of their program. These are important, Mary Louise. These are important items. You can't talk about the Iranian nuclear program without acknowledging the facts of what this regime has been up to. They stored documents. They kept technology in place. They dispersed it as a result of the JCPOA. They didn't have it in a central research agency, but they continued to develop their program and this administration is determined to prevent them from getting that weapon. Not now, not a year from now and not 10 years from now.

But again, you say you're determined to prevent them. How do you stop them? I was in Tehran two weeks ago. I sat down with your counterpart there, Javad Zarif, and he told me, quote, "All limits on our centrifuge program are now suspended."

Yeah. He's blustering. Look, the truth of the matter is this is a regime that's never --

Do you have evidence that he's blustering?

This is a regime that has never been in the position that it's in today. One has to confront so many elements that challenge the central thesis of the theocracy and the revolutionary nature of this regime. And you can see it in protests, not just in Tehran. And you should know when you traveled there, I'm guessing you weren't permitted to travel freely. I'm guessing that you didn't get a chance to go out into these places where the life of the Iranian people, these are people who are suffering. Qassem Soleimani, who we removed from the battlefield, killed hundreds of Iranians, and the Iranian people know that. And it's been our strategy that has delivered this message of freedom for the Iranian people.

But my question again, how do you stop Iran from getting a nuclear weapon?

We'll stop them.

How? Sanctions?

We'll stop them.

The president made very clear. The opening sentence in his remarks said that we will never permit Iran to have a nuclear weapon. The coalition that we've built out, the economic, military and diplomatic deterrence that we have put in place will deliver that outcome. It's important [crosstalk] because this will protect the American people.

Is there any new deal being developed? A new nuclear deal, something that would rein in Iran, something that they would agree to.

The Iranian leadership will have to make the decision about what its behavior is going to be.

Change of subject. Ukraine. Do you owe Ambassador Marie Yovanovitch an apology?

You know, I agreed to come on your show today to talk about Iran. That's what I intend to do. I know what our Ukraine policy has been now for the three years of this administration. I'm proud of the work we've done. This administration delivered the capability for the Ukrainians to defend themselves. President Obama showed up with MREs (meals ready to eat.) We showed up with Javelin missiles. The previous administration did nothing to take down corruption in Ukraine. We're working hard on that. We're going to continue to do it.

I confirmed with your staff [crosstalk] last night that I would talk about Iran and Ukraine.

I just don't have anything else to say about that this morning.

I just want to give you another opportunity to answer this, because as you know, people who work for you in your department, people who have resigned from this department under your leadership, saying you should stand up for the diplomats who work here. [crosstalk]

I don't know who these unnamed sources are you're referring to. I can tell you this, when I talked to my team here --

These are not unnamed sources. [crosstalk] This is your senior adviser Michael McKinley, a career foreign service officer with four decades experience, who testified under oath that he resigned in part due to the failure of the State Department to offer support to Foreign Service employees caught up in the impeachment inquiry on Ukraine.

I'm not going to comment on things that Mr. McKinley may have said. I'll say only this. I have defended every State Department official. We've built a great team. The team that works here is doing amazing work around the world.

Sir, respectfully [crosstalk] where have you defended Marie Yovanovitch?

I've defended every single person on this team. I've done what's right for every single person on this team. [crosstalk]

Can you point me toward your remarks where you have defended Marie Yovanovitch?

I've said all I'm going to say today. Thank you. Thanks for the repeated opportunity to do so. I appreciate that.

One further question on this.

I'm not going to — I appreciate that. I appreciate that you want to continue to talk about this. I agreed to come on your show today to talk about Iran.

And you appreciate [crosstalk] that the American public wants to know as a shadow foreign policy, as a back channel policy on Ukraine was being developed, did you try to block it?

The Ukraine policy has been run from the Department of State for the entire time that I have been here, and our policy was very clear.

Marie Yovanovitch [crosstalk] testified under oath that Ukraine policy was hijacked.

I've been clear about that. I know exactly what we were doing. I know precisely what the direction that the State Department gave to our officials around the world about how to manage our Ukraine policy.

[Katie Martin, deputy assistant secretary, bureau of global public affairs at the State Department: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.]

Secretary, thank you. Thank you.

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Pompeo Won't Say Whether He Owes Yovanovitch An Apology. 'I've Done What's Right'

Published Jan 24, 2020, 5:31 PM ET |

NPR  All Things Considered | Posted January 24, 2020 |

With the State Department facing continued questions over the treatment of Marie Yovanovitch before she was recalled as U.S. ambassador to Ukraine, Secretary of State Mike Pompeo would not say on Friday whether he owed the career diplomat an apology.

"I've defended every single person on this team," Pompeo said in an interview with NPR. "I've done what's right for every single person on this team."

Pressed on whether he could point to specific remarks in which he defended Yovanovitch, Pompeo responded, "I've said all I'm going to say today. Thank you. Thanks for the repeated opportunity to do so. I appreciate that."

The exchange with Mary Louise Kelly, co-host of All Things Considered, follows the release by House Democrats last week of messages suggesting that Yovanovitch may have been under surveillance in the days before she was told to return to Washington from her posting in Kyiv last year.

The messages were sent between Robert Hyde, a Republican congressional candidate and fervent Trump supporter, and Lev Parnas, an associate of President Trump's personal attorney Rudy Giuliani. He was indicted in October on campaign finance charges.

Parnas has emerged as a central figure in efforts by Giuliani to pressure the government of Ukraine to investigate political rivals of Trump. That campaign is now the focus of the ongoing impeachment trial against Trump in the Senate.

POSSIBLE SURVEILLANCE OF A U.S. AMBASSADOR

The State Department itself is now investigating the possible surveillance of Yovanovitch, who during testimony before House impeachment investigators in November said she had felt threatened by Trump. Before her recall, Yovanovitch had been accused of disloyalty by allies of the White House, and during his now-infamous July 25 call with Ukraine's President Volodymyr Zelenskiy, Trump said of Yovanovitch, "She's going to go through some things."

In an interview last week with the conservative radio show host Hugh Hewitt, Pompeo said he "never heard" that Yovanovitch may have been under surveillance. In her testimony before the House, Yovanovitch said she was told by the State Department that she was being recalled because of concerns about her "security."

Pompeo has come under criticism — including, at times, from career diplomats in his own department — for failing to more forcefully defend Yovanovitch in the face of political attacks. During testimony before impeachment investigators, for example, Michael McKinley, a former senior adviser to Pompeo, said he resigned from the department in part over what he interpreted to be a "lack of public support for Department employees."

"I'm not going to comment on things that Mr. McKinley may have said," Pompeo said on Friday. But he dismissed the suggestion that a shadow foreign policy involving Ukraine was in place.

"The Ukraine policy has been run from the Department of State for the entire time that I have been here, and our policy was very clear," Pompeo said.

Immediately after the questions on Ukraine, the interview concluded. Pompeo stood, leaned in and silently glared at Kelly for several seconds before leaving the room.

A few moments later, an aide asked Kelly to follow her into Pompeo's private living room at the State Department without a recorder. The aide did not say the ensuing exchange would be off the record.

Inside the room, Pompeo shouted his displeasure at being questioned about Ukraine. He used repeated expletives, according to Kelly, and asked, "Do you think Americans care about Ukraine?" He then said, "People will hear about this."

The State Department did not immediately respond on the record to NPR's request for comment.

THE U.S. AND IRAN

The interview began with a series of questions about the Trump administration's policy toward Iran. Pompeo defended the president's "maximum pressure" campaign against Tehran, saying it is "absolutely working."

"This is a regime that has been working to develop its nuclear program for years and years and years. And the nuclear deal guaranteed them a pathway to having a nuclear program," Pompeo said in reference to the international agreement signed by Iran, the U.S., the United Kingdom, China, France, Germany, Russia and the European Union in 2015. "It was a certainty. It might have been delayed for a month or a year or five or 10 years, but it guaranteed them that pathway. This administration has pulled the Band-Aid off."

As the nation's chief diplomat, Pompeo has played a central role in shaping the president's more aggressive posture toward Iran. It's a policy Pompeo has described as "reestablishing deterrence."

The policy has taken many forms. Less than two weeks after Pompeo was sworn in as secretary of state in 2018, Trump announced the withdrawal from the Iran nuclear deal. The announcement was followed by the reinstatement of steep economic sanctions against Tehran.

Under Pompeo, the State Department has also designated Iran's Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps as a foreign terrorist organization, the first time the U.S. has given that label to the branch of another government.

Yet perhaps no action has been more controversial than the administration's decision this month to launch the drone strike that killed Maj. Gen. Qassem Soleimani, the leader of Iran's influential Quds Force, outside the airport in Baghdad. While the administration has declined to offer specifics about the intelligence that prompted the strike, Pompeo has defended the president's order, saying it was carried out in response to an "imminent threat" of attack on U.S. embassies.

For days, the killing revived fears of an all-out war. Iran retaliated with strikes against two bases housing American troops in Iraq. No Americans died in the attack, though the U.S. military later revealed that 11 service members were injured.

Tensions have since eased, but the episode has renewed questions about whether the president's "maximum pressure" campaign has emboldened Tehran. Since Trump pulled out of the nuclear deal, Iran has shot down a U.S. drone, targeted oil tankers in the strategic Strait of Hormuz, and been blamed for a debilitating attack on Saudi oil facilities.

At the same time, Iran has stepped away from key provisions of the nuclear deal. In an interview this month with NPR, the country's foreign minister, Mohammad Javad Zarif, said "all limits" on centrifuges used to enrich uranium "are now suspended."

"He's blustering," Pompeo said in Friday's interview. "This is a regime that has never been in the position that it's in today."

The secretary declined, however, to detail specifics of the administration's policy for preventing Tehran from acquiring a nuclear weapon, saying only, "We'll stop them."

Pompeo would not say whether direct U.S. engagement is taking place with Iran but did say the administration has built a coalition that's working to put pressure on Iran to end its missile program, its processing of uranium and the reprocessing of plutonium.

He said the U.S. has also "raised the cost" for Iran's use of force through proxy groups in the Middle East.

"This is beginning to place real choices in front of the Iranian regime," Pompeo said. "You can see in the protests inside of Iran. You can see the Iranian people not happy with their own government when they have to raise the fuel cost. All the things that are undermining this regime's ability to inflict risk on the American people are coming to fruition as a direct result of President Trump's strategy."

He would not comment on whether a new deal is being developed in order to prevent Tehran from acquiring a weapon, but instead said, "The economic, military and diplomatic deterrence that we have put in place will deliver that outcome."

"The Iranian leadership will have to make the decision about what its behavior is going to be," he said.

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