#and how it's applicable to his character
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
royalarchivist · 1 year ago
Text
Fit: Now, I thrive in this sort of scenario, I thrive in these sorts of events, and let me explain why. A little bit of history. Here's a FitMC history lesson for you. Here's a history lesson for you.
Now, 2016 is when I started my YouTube career, right? And how did started on 2B2T, we had a bunch of new players join because of a different YouTuber, right? The server was so overwhelmed by these new players that the admin had to put it on a temporary map just to hold them over, right? Well, on this temporary map, it was the exact same scenario as Purgatory. Everyone left with nothing. You have to build yourself up as quickly as possible. It was there that I murdered countless individuals and that's what got me views on YouTube. At the time, I was a school teacher living paycheck to paycheck, so killing people in Minecraft put bread on my table. This is the environment that I thrive in.
Now it's true, mechanically speaking, I'm not the best PVPer on the server, but preparation and the element of surprise, as well as Looney tunes bullsht, can go a very long way. Literally the element of surprise, guerrilla tactics, that's all we need to win. So...
[Reading chat] You support my wrongs? We'll see about that, 'cus things could go very wrong today.
598 notes · View notes
happyk44 · 2 years ago
Text
PJO: we need to recognize the value of the minor gods. The Olympians are important, sure, but the minor gods do a lot of work in maintaining and assisting the pantheon, have their own kids and deserve to be seen and valued just as much
HoO: Back at it again with Olympian-only nonsense!
512 notes · View notes
slashmagpie · 1 year ago
Text
“Here’s what happened, okay. We were on a date with Clebert—”
“It’s not a date.”
“—and, and Etho walks by and she, she looks at him, she’s like whoa.”
“She just catcalls him, like woohoo!”
“Woo!”
“I’m out, yeah!”
“You got it wrong, me and Etho are besties! We’re not—we’re not—it’s not romantic.”
They’re not sure why it feels so important. 
It’s not that Cleo has ever really—well, that’s not quite—they’ve never argued about it before, is the thing. Like—with Bdubs. With Bdubs, right, people had—they’d assumed. It’s what people do. Even Scott, and Scott is—Scott is Scott. He knows about these sorts of things. And even he…
“Bdubs is your ride or die, Jimmy’s mine, he’s my husband, and he’s with them, so I’m kind of—but I don’t ever want to fight you.”
“If Bdubs betrays me—if our husbands die, yeah?”
Husband. Because that was the word Scott had been using, for Jimmy, and Bdubs had been Cleo’s Jimmy, in a way, so it had—it had made sense. Use the same words for the same thing. And then—being married is kind of a funny bit, isn’t it? So later, when Bdubs and Impulse had been lying to them—
“Bdubs, I know we’re divorced and you’re with Impulse now, but did you really think you could lie to me?”
And whilst Cleo’s not sure they put too much stock in Ren’s claims as to what he’d caught Bdubs and Impulse doing in the woods, they know that whatever those two had going on wasn’t quite the same. They’d said it was, but they hadn’t really meant it. Not really. Marriage—marriage is a funny bit, really, is all it is. 
After all, last season, with Etho—being divorced is also a funny bit. 
“I’m not calling you wife.”
“You can call me Cleo!”
He still doesn’t call them wife. Still calls them Cleo. Calls them bestie, now, too, ironic grin beneath his mask. Etho’s not too big on PDA, either, which is—nice. Not that Cleo doesn’t like it, it’s just—
“It’s platonic,” they insist to Tango, to Skizz, and see their eyes sparkle. They don’t get it. They don’t get it, and it makes Cleo’s skin crawl, because—
Cleo’s loyal, is the thing. When they say ride or die, when they say allies, when they say husband or soulmate or my boys—they mean it. If you’re theirs, you’re theirs, and that means everything. 
But it doesn’t mean—
Romance is a funny bit. It’s a like a costume, really. Pull it on, pull it off, kiss and hold hands and sleep in the same bed and say your vows for the fun of it. Then shrug it off at the end of the day and go back to being friends. There’s no—they don’t feel any of those sappy things, really. It’s not them. Sure, Cleo loves people, loves their friends, but not—like that. They don’t want anything to do with any of that. The aesthetic of it, the performance of it, the drama of it? They’ll take it. But they’ll leave the rest. The mushy, goopy, complicated feelings soup part of it—that’s not theirs. Other people can deal with that. Cleo will be off dealing with better things.
It’s—it’s like being a woman, really, in that Cleo doesn’t really mind that people see them that way—plays into it, really, loves the aesthetic, has fun with the performance—but they don’t really feel it. And they don’t mind that other people don’t exactly understand—
Until they step too close, say something Cleo really doesn’t like the sound of, and then they’re snapping, “I’m not a woman,” with such force it makes the perpetrator flinch.
It’s the same thing, this, Tango and Skizz stepping too close to their toes, getting in their personal space, and it bubbles up out of them before they can stop it. It’s platonic. We’re platonic. And the fact that other people aren’t seeing that—
It itches. Prickles. Stifles. Hugs their bones like an ill-fitting coat.
It’s one thing to wear a costume, to put on a show—but Cleo will not be stuffed into a suit without their permission and put up on a stage to read a script they never had any intention of performing. 
“We’re just besties, we’re not in a romantic relationship,” they tell Tango. He blinks at them, and they can see that the words don’t quite go in—
It itches.
Maybe if Cleo makes being besties the new bit, the itch will stop bothering them quite so much.
73 notes · View notes
spookygibberish · 9 months ago
Text
Another fun thing is like. The disparity of how I think of my characters and how they think of themselves and how they exist in the context of their world. I listen to a lot of new wave and most of Ally's playlist reflects that but he would only listen to classical music and either dislike or have no strong opinion on the songs ***I*** like that make me think of him.
Also ***I*** think of them as nb or even possibly transfem but those are alien concepts to him and he is too disconnected from the sort of communities where such notions would even begin to enter his awareness to consider such things, not to mention the mountain upon mountains of shame and repression and self-isolating resentfulness that would need to be scaled first, + these feelings are utterly redirected into his weird elf cum* drinking transformation scheme to transcend humanity. Anyways that's a lot of words for I always want to theythem him but that's not actually something he would like. Appreciate, if if it could even happen in the actual context the character inhabits.
*it's not cum but idk if the reality is significantly better. The goo.
25 notes · View notes
Text
my favorite character type probably has to be someone being absolutely eaten alive by a performance. like there is a goal, there are any number of masks they wear to achieve it, and who knows what may lie beneath those masks anymore, because they certainly don’t. take off the mask and you only get another mask
I’m just really fascinated by the like desperate dedication to achieving one particular thing, where a character will sacrifice anyone and anything for it, up to and especially at the cost of the erosion of their sense of self and identity.
26 notes · View notes
rivilu · 2 months ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Easier to make light of a sad story when you're the only one that knows it
6 notes · View notes
softgrungeprophet · 4 months ago
Text
me designing characters: turquoise! purple! black! red and gold!
#there's a reason my spidersona design used black + turquoise + purple + hot pink lol#i did that very consciously#now ... all my OTHER characters...#been thinking about my biases in terms of costume palettes recently just because of the scratchverse lineup#green and yellow are i think the least represented#i am going to be leaning more into blue for novaglow's costume and less teal#esp since i made the purposeful decision to make tj's costume a mix of teal and acid green#but also because i want the colors to reflect angel's updated powers more so i'm leaning into blue and silver and black#vs their foe whose design will be mostly white and silver and very pale crystal blue#mostly white though because i'm trying to make sure they don't look like frozone 💀#weirdly pink is both underrepresented and very prevalent in the lineup ... naomi w rose gold and gem with bubblegum#but there was a reason i wanted to change the tone of seth's first costume with white and pink instead of bright yellow#of course now naomi is like the only one with yellow (then copper) which is again why i gave tj neon yellow green gloves lol#originally it was gonna be more lemony but i realized hi vis would be better for the design#gold doesn't count but i was very conscious about the tones i used for the psykopomp because tama's ENTIRE theme#has been white + red + gold + black since i first designed her lmfaoooo#so lilith i specifically used a darker red#with a bluer black and no white to help keep her visually distinct#whereas tama her main vibes are predominantly white and gold with red and black accents#also usually a slightly lighter and less bronze gold#aaaaanyway#hopefully drawing novaglow and doc wormwood's upgraded costumes soon#also am wondering how to approach diana's older brother because he's very much A Batman Type#but tarot themed lol so i'm thinking about what colors would work best for his costume and also his *checks notes* hyperyacht#jk idk if it's a hyperyacht. it is a speedboat though.#nadia rambles#this got very scratchverse-centric but is broadly applicable#*stares at qela's uniform iterations*#update: scratchverse most underrepresented color is: orange#also warm-toned purple (purple i use is mostly blurple and periwinkle-lavender)
2 notes · View notes
shoechoe · 1 year ago
Text
I do not like to make posts like these too often, but it really feels that so often, me liking hated villain characters is used as a cudgel against me when I criticize other characters I find unlikable. You guys, there is a difference between a villain character that is written to be evil and hated that justifies them being the enemy of the good guys and a protagonist/ally character that you are supposed to like but does things that are annoying or unlikable and doesn't have enough redeeming qualities to make up for it.
The first is acknowledged and intentionally written to be a bad guy that does bad things- the other is not supposed to be, but turns out to be so anyway, usually due to bad writing. It is not inherently contradictory or hypocritical to be annoyed by and dislike one, but not the other.
18 notes · View notes
acebytaemin · 1 year ago
Text
got the EGO BOOST of the century im still reeling
18 notes · View notes
fragmentedblade · 1 year ago
Text
No but even beyond the heathcliffean air of his story as a kid, Nelly scene and revenge fantasies included, and even beyond the identification of the self with the craft, the entire concept of Yingxing is so good.
The glimpse we get of the relationship he has with his master has so much potential. What it says about him, what it says about everyone around them, what it says about the kid.
The fact that already as a child Yingxing was vindictive, as he will be as Blade.
His self-consciousness about being a short life species, and how he is right to be self-conscious about it. How in such a short time, being so young, he's had to deal with enormous tragedy, so that he can even as a kid look the truth in the eye and admit it. Admit that he has to work harder, longer, more obsessively, and that still nonetheless there's little chance to get ever at the level of the long life species that look down on him and take him for granted. How he is able to overcome it.
It's incredible also in the context of Dan Feng. How both struggle with their identities and how they get new ones, but in totally opposite ways. Dan Feng is weighted down by what he is and what he can do, and wants to escape that fate, and dreams of a new life in which he can be something else; and Dan Heng is born. Yingxing takes pride in that which he can do, something he wasn't born into, something he had to work very hard to achieve, and that was the path to overcome the prejudices and undermining gazes he had to bear as a short life species. He crafts his place into the Xianzhou society and becomes the legendary Furnace Master. Even on a more personal level, one could argue this is his way of maneuvering his life, of expressing himself, this is how he deals with things; like his relationship with Jing Yuan having a turning point after giving him his weapon, or how he crafted that jade flask. And then he loses his ability to create and loses himself; he becomes Blade.
The fact that even as an adult, as an exceedingly arrogant craftsman, something of the shy self-conscious kid remains is both endearing and heartbreaking as well. In some ways we still see that in Blade.
We also see echoes of that personality in Mr. Xiao, who worked under him. And that alongside his craftsmanship, his ability to fix and create auromatons even though they are vanishing in the civilian landscape, live on through Mr. Xiao. And die alongside him, for Mr. Xiao too has become but a relic of another time.
The way the other stories of craftsmen enhance facets of Yingxing's is so good too. Mainly in the story of Master Ryan and Chengjie, with the insight we get of the struggles of short life species in the Xianzhou, especially those dedicated to a craft, and how hard it is for them to reach positions of prestige. It also poses the question of how we can transcend time, if it's possible at all, and how the sharing of knowledge, the passing down of skills, the shared loved, is one of the answers. This was all already significant before, but the information gains weight with the existence of Mr. Xiao. I'd argue there's echoes of Yingxing even in Master Gongshu. His love for his automatons, his sincere fondness for them, his pride on his job, his loyalty to his position and duties, the way he is both hard and stern as well as loving with his apprentices, and how he talks about short life species.
On a sort of ontological way, it's very interesting to see how Yingxing goes from craftsman to tool or weapon, from creator to creation, from subject to object. The potential in the context of Abundance/Destruction is also extremely intriguing, I think. He who created is unmade by a curse of Abundance. He who forged weapons now follows that path of destruction. There's so much going on with Yingxing conceptually around the cycles of death and rebirth, destruction and creation; it's so fitting that now Blade is stuck in such a cycle in the most literal way.
And it's so fitting too that, in all this context, given Yingxing's entire story, Blade's entire being, that which he made unmade him. That which he created and gave him so much pride was the weapon that killed him. And now he wields it himself, his tool of revenge while he follows the path to eternal and irrevocable death.
#Yingxing#Blade#I talk too much#Fragments and scraps#sort of. I think I'll delete that tag when I save these ideas somewhere else#These are only some of the things I can't stop thinking about#Among other things I wondered what it must have been for Mr. Xiao to see his master's face everywhere around the Luofu#Fu Xuan makes a comment about not believing the short life species are necessarily less knowledgeable and that also said a lot I think#Due both to how she worded and the context. How it seemed to be another sign of her superior wisdom that she realises this#but how it's still an extended pov along the Xianzhou#The idea of being/becoming/losing oneself through and/or because of one's own skills and abilities is also applicable to Jing Yuan#I don't know. There's really so much to think about and dissect. It's so juicy#For real Yingxing is so good as a character. I didn't expect something so good and so well crafted#(and so in tune with all my favourite characteristics and stories. I've not talked#about the Orphic elements and the suicidal tendencies here‚ or the play on betrayals‚ but goodness)#I really wasn't expecting something as good and with so much potential (I am so afraid of them ruining the writing)#The way the worldbuilding and the little glimpses at everyday life of NPCs enhance every concept forming the character is amazing#I truly can't stop thinking of Yingxing/Blade in every facet he has. The very way we are told things is telling#I always say form is substance‚ and I mean it. Yingxing's and Blade's story is such a clear case of this#The fragmentary condition of the storytelling as well as the different levels of trust one can give to every fragment works magnificently#with Blade as a mara-struck person dealing with memory loss and the loss of the self#It also works well with Dan Heng and Jingliu going through something similar‚ with Jing Yuan being manipulative and deceptive and silent‚#with Baiheng being dead. Ironically in my opinion it also works very well with how it seems to be hinted that both Dan Heng#and Blade may recall more than they let on or admit. I'm talking a lot and I should stop already but yes. I can't stop thinking about him#He's skyrocketed to the higher positions in the list of my all-time favourite characters in no time at all#Or at least his potential has. Goodness‚ I hope they don't ruin him...#Ugh I've talked way too much. I'm going to have to move the tags
7 notes · View notes
celestial-toys · 8 months ago
Text
been laying here listening to Lucky by Dermot Kennedy on loop for half an hour while thinking about Everything Stays and crying
#it’s good crying dw i am just. i have so many feelings about this story#Seven’s Celestial Commentary#Everything Stays#writing stuff#i may be stuck in bed struggling to type due to personal reasons but that will Not stop me from cooking up ideas for this fic#there is gonna be so much fucking angst and it’s gonna hurt soooooo good#the more i listen to it the more the possibilities expand#i can easily see Moon and Reader going back and forth between verses vulnerably arguing over Sun#but i can also see it being Sun and Moon getting real and discussingcougharguingover Reader#can’t decide which i like more#god i wish y’all could see this story the way it plays out in my head#next best thing would be to keep writing and sharing the story instead of vagueposting abt future plot points tho wouldn’t it lmao#and GOD don’t even get me fucking STARTED on Two Hearts…#Dermot Kennedy’s music is responsible for yet Another plot point for this story and i can’t even be mad about it. his fucking lyricsss dude#‘and so we jump to the THEATER??? in that SAME OLD TOWN???’ DO WE? FUCK I GUESS WE DO NOW!!!#picture me listening to that song and inspiration hitting me like a truck. diligently taking notes like the lyrics r instructions from God#‘she sees his face?? and HE sees HER as the LIGHTS GO DOWN???’ write that down write that down#‘the life that they should’ve had sat between them that night??’ FUCK Man yeah it sure did!!!#anyways it’s chill i’m chill. i’m very normal about my little stories and their musical inspirations!#and i’ve listened to these songs a very normal amount (translation: they will likely be in my top ten for the 2024 wrapped)#(cut to the scenes playing vividly in my head) ‘Well‚ at least I can always say that I /told/ her!’#‘I can’t relate to having a heart like that‚ Sun! With all of your wonder and your trust intact…’#like no i wouldn’t lift the lyrics directly for the song to use as dialogue but FUCk does it work well.. Lucky is such a good script for-#like- a heated conversation between my Relentlessly Positive Sun and my Apathetic Jaded Moon#‘How could our farewell mean as much as our time? Honey‚ I’ll be gone. It’s better if I’m something that you leave behind.’#‘I used to paint these trees‚ now I just scream at the sky. Honey I was wrong. Guess there’s certain things you never leave behind.’#*sobbing shaking throwing up clawing at the walls* I Am Normal About These Characters#anyways uh. on an unrelated note how many song lyrics do ya think i can cram into ES before it’s Too Many#gonna have to start getting creative with how i can incorporate more songs in a way that feels natural and not forced#even tho i am forcing it. i am forcing it very much bc i have songs with applicable lyrics and y’all Will read them one way or another
4 notes · View notes
theodore-sallis · 2 years ago
Text
Tumblr media
“…Man-Thing!” Savage Tales (Vol. 1/1971), #1.
Writers: Roy Thomas and Gerry Conway; Penciler, Inker, and Letterer: Gray Morrow
#Marvel#Marvel comics#Marvel 616#Savage Tales#Man-Thing#Ted Sallis#Ellen Brandt#alshskj so you see where that M-rating came from#and I am…very interested to see how Ellen’s character changes over time#seeing as Marvel’s notorious for trying to do damage control on the uuuuuh less than in-depth development of their female characters#because yeah *spoiler alert* Ellen in this story is completely playing Ted and is going to sell him out soon to profit from his research#but of equal importance !!! considering when this was released (1971) I love the panel where Ted worries about the applications of his work#contrasted with the newspaper headline about napalm#(I’m sorry about how everything connects back to Spider-Man comics for me but considering how they later made Ted#and Curt Connors research partners I think it’s appropriate hahaha)#It reminds me of the one issue where it was revealed that one of the reasons why Dr. Connors developed such an affinity for lizards#was because of the cruelty of man he witnessed during the Vietnam War#and I think there might be something similar at work here#I’ve heard that a common structure for this period of monster comics is that they involve a major moving from ignorance to#bitterly-won experience with a major moral to be learned at the end#and it might be basic but I’m pretty sure a major influence of/parallel for this story#were people realizing what horrible applications were being developed for technology during the Vietnam War#some people may have tried to ignore it for a time but the truth came out eventually
2 notes · View notes
inkskinned · 5 months ago
Text
they will need to whipstitch the wound closed, but embroidery is a "woman's" task. they will need to eat and clean and mend clothes, but why learn basic things when you can have a woman measure out your life in beads. he will be the "head" of your house, but if you want him to act accordingly, you must assign him a list of all applicable activities. you will be otherwise constantly in charge of almost-everything; so he will lead the house he is absent from.
in movies and books, the "cool" girl will be more-like-a-man. she will be "less boring," more "fun". she will have masculine ideas and masculine talents, which means a man doesn't have to change in order to find her fascinating. she will disdain of something as simple as stitching. how boring!
she will kick open the door of a car and quip what, girls can't drive? and flip her long hair down one side. she will grill and shoot a gun and skydive. be a guy. she will be sexualized.
somewhere, working on computers becomes a masculine task, and now on tv a gen-z disney character throws her hands up in the air. i can't be a computer science nerd, i'm a girl! in the real life, she will be unable to sit through some of her classes, shivering when she realizes she is the only woman present in several of them.
how many times have you read this book and seen this show and watched this movie. the singular woman is allowed 5 lines because she's not just smart! she's also pretty! she is surrounded by 20 average men, but she is stunning. she is the exception to the bland, pale lives of women-at-home, who will never be shown. she likes dirt and motorbikes and blood and shows up in a tiny dress during the final scene, rolling her eyes at our male lead's incredulity - just because i like motorcross doesn't mean anything. i'm still a woman, okay? i actually like shopping.
it is almost never reversed, and you think about that often. it is vanishingly rare to have a single man in a cast of women. the male love interest does not show up at a feminist march and sardonically squint at our leading lady - what? you thought only women care about human rights? he does not know how to balance a checkbook or kickbox because i grew up with three sisters.
when he cooks he is a chef, which is sexy. when he cleans, he's being kind, genteel. when he nurtures his family, confetti rains from the ceiling. when she does these things: it is her duty and her identity. what do you mean she has other passions and hobbies? isn't her hobby and passion homemaking?
the other day a friend embroidered a seam closed on your jacket into the shape of ivy. every time you touch it, you think of her.
something about women's hobbies and art and skills. something about women's work.
8K notes · View notes
emirrea · 8 months ago
Text
Tumblr media
GAMING??? DON'T YOU THINK THAT'S A BIT TOO MUCH??? YOU'RE NOT EVEN C6???
Tumblr media
Also I would once again like to thank Ningguang for being the sole reason I'm able to beat floor 12 when there are any enemies that require a geo character. Thank you for allowing me to not build any other geo characters other than Zhongli lmao
1 note · View note
usagimen · 9 months ago
Text
there's something so funny about sayuri having a scary face only to love anything cute, fancy coffees, and cheesy romance novels
0 notes
physalian · 5 months ago
Text
How to Make Your Writing Less Stiff Part 3
Crazy how one impulsive post has quickly outshined every other post I have made on this blog. Anyway here’s more to consider. Once again, I am recirculating tried-and-true writing advice that shouldn’t have to compromise your author voice and isn’t always applicable when the narrative demands otherwise.
Part 1
Part 2
1. Eliminating to-be verbs (passive voice)
Am/is/are/was/were are another type of filler that doesn’t add anything to your sentences.
There were fireworks in the sky tonight. /// Fireworks glittered in the sky tonight.
My cat was chirping at the lights on the ceiling. /// My cat chirped at the lights on the ceiling.
She was standing /// She stood
He was running /// He ran
Also applicable in present tense, of which I’ve been stuck writing lately.
There are two fish-net goals on either end of the improvised field. /// Two fish-net goals mark either end of the improvised field.
For once, it’s a cloudless night. /// For once, the stars shine clear.
Sometimes the sentence needs a little finagling to remove the bad verb and sometimes you can let a couple remain if it sounds better with the cadence or syntax. Generally, they’re not necessary and you won’t realize how strange it looks until you go back and delete them (it also helps shave off your word count).
Sometimes the to-be verb is necessary. You're writing in past-tense and must convey that.
He was running out of time does not have the same meaning as He ran out of time, and are not interchangeable. You'd have to change the entire sentence to something probably a lot wordier to escape the 'was'. To-be verbs are not the end of the world.
2. Putting character descriptors in the wrong place
I made a post already about motivated exposition, specifically about character descriptions and the mirror trope, saying character details in the wrong place can look odd and screw with the flow of the paragraph, especially if you throw in too many.
She ties her long, curly, brown tresses up in a messy bun. /// She ties her curls up in a messy brown bun. (bonus alliteration too)
Generally, I see this most often with hair, a terrible rule of threes. Eyes less so, but eyes have their own issue. Eye color gets repeated at an exhausting frequency. Whatever you have in your manuscript, you could probably delete 30-40% of the reminders that the love interest has baby blues and readers would be happy, especially if you use the same metaphor over and over again, like gemstones.
He rolled his bright, emerald eyes. /// He rolled his eyes, a vibrant green in the lamplight.
To me, one reads like you want to get the character description out as fast as possible, so the hand of the author comes in to wave and stop the story to give you the details. Fixing it, my way or another way, stands out less as exposition, which is what character descriptions boil down to—something the audience needs to know to appreciate and/or understand the story.
3. Lacking flow between sentences
Much like sentences that are all about the same length with little variety in syntax, sentences that follow each other like a grocery list or instruction manual instead of a proper narrative are difficult to find gripping.
Jack gets out a stock pot from the cupboard. He fills it with the tap and sets it on the stove. Then, he grabs russet potatoes and butter from the fridge. He leaves the butter out to soften, and sets the pot to boil. He then adds salt to the water.
From the cupboard, Jack drags a hefty stockpot. He fills it with the tap, adds salt to taste, and sets it on the stove.
Russet potatoes or yukon gold? Jack drums his fingers on the fridge door in thought. Russet—that’s what the recipe calls for. He tosses the bag on the counter and the butter beside it to soften.
This is just one version of a possible edit to the first paragraph, not the end-all, be-all perfect reconstruction. It’s not just about having transitions, like ‘then’, it’s about how one sentence flows into the next, and you can accomplish better flow in many different ways.
4. Getting too specific with movement.
I don’t see this super often, but when it happens, it tends to be pretty bad. I think it happens because writers feel the need to overcompensate and over-clarify on what’s happening. Remember: The more specific you get, the more your readers are going to wonder what’s so important about these details. This is fiction, so every detail matters.
A ridiculous example:
Jack walks over to his closet. He kneels down at the shoe rack and tugs his running shoes free. He walks back to his desk chair, sits down, and ties the laces.
Unless tying his shoes is a monumental achievement for this character, all readers would need is:
Jack shoves on his running shoes.
*quick note: Do not add "down" after the following: Kneels, stoops, crouches, squats. The "down" is already implied in the verb.
This also happens with multiple movements in succession.
Beth enters the room and steps on her shoelace, nearly causing her to trip. She kneels and ties her shoes. She stands upright and keeps moving.
Or
Beth walks in and nearly trips over her shoelace. She sighs, reties it, and keeps moving.
Even then, unless Beth is a chronically clumsy character or this near-trip is a side effect of her being late or tired (i.e. meaningful), tripping over a shoelace is kind of boring if it does nothing for her character. Miles Morales’ untied shoelaces are thematically part of his story.
Sometimes, over-describing a character’s movement is meant to show how nervous they are—overthinking everything they’re doing, second-guessing themselves ad nauseam. Or they’re autistic coded and this is how this character normally thinks as deeply methodical. Or, you’re trying to emphasize some mundanity about their life and doing it on purpose.
If you’re not writing something where the extra details service the character or the story at large, consider trimming it.
These are *suggestions* and writing is highly subjective. Hope this helps!
4K notes · View notes