#and how Hell has presumably changed since their time
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I’m noticing, I don’t think Hazbin Hotel has many characters that are from like, further back than the past 200 years or so. Like I think Zestial is supposed to be from around either Middle English or Early Modern English days, from what I’ve heard about how he talks, but he’s like the only Sinner I know of that old
I don’t know, I kind of want to see older era characters. Hell’s been around for 10,000 years in the show, there’s gotta be someone here from further than 600 years ago
Personally I’d like to see someone from the Roman Empire. Don’t know why, I just think it’d be neat. What were the sins of older eras? What made those people sinners?
#I looked on the Wiki and it says Zestial’s the oldest living Overlord#but that doesn’t necessarily mean everyone from before his era has been exterminated#there could be someone who’s been surviving hell for 1000 years#that isn’t a hell-born#I think it’d be a little disappointing if Zestial was the cutoff#assuming he’s early Middle English at best that only gives about the last 1000 years of human history#I guess that’s plenty but I just would like to see older sinners#and how they differ from the ones of the past 200 years#and how Hell has presumably changed since their time#and whether or not they’ve changed#I don’t know it was a thought#hazbin hotel#Sinners#zestial#random stuff
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thinking once again about Edwin in Hell the second time, and about how this is (presumably, based on his reaction) the first time he’s seen his reflection since he was killed. and he hasn’t aged, of course, but it’s hard to reconcile the bloodied, battered face that stares back at him with the boy he used to be. it’s just another thing Hell took from him, he supposes. he doesn’t look a day older but there’s a heaviness to his gaze, the depths of everything he keeps hidden away so much deeper. because so little has truly been reconciled, and so much more torment has been added. and yet, he’s still in there. underneath the blood (physical and metaphorical), like the ship of Theseus he is remade entirely and yet, perhaps, it is still him. at least, he can only assume. he does not remember much of before Hell, only the during and the after, in stark, brilliant detail. his life as an actual, living human being is somewhat of a blur. he hopes they remade him exactly as he was before. that he is still in the same image that God, if He exists, made him, and not Hell’s mockery.
and part of him is horrified. because he is old far beyond his years and yet his face remains the same. he feels he should have been changed irreparably. that his appearance should match the ugly, twisted thing that sits deep inside him like poison
(he knows that, as a ghost, he could control such things, and appear as the hell-ravaged soul that he is. but that wouldn’t be good for the business. besides, sometimes he thinks certain clients can tell. not enough to name their unease but an overwhelming sense of wrongness his very being exudes. that this is what could happen to them, should they end up the wrong path)
and then he enters Despair’s realm, and it is full of mirrors
#idk if this makes sense but anyway#i just had to get this out of my system#very big on characters having complicated relationships with their reflections#also very big on mirrors and everything they represent#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#save dead boy detectives#the ramblings of a mad scientist
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i’ve been thinking a lot about gerard’s character they developed in the last leg of this tour and the way i believe it really solidified what we might have coming for us in the future.
it’s really sweet, if you look in the comments of some of the videos from brisbane and osaka, you can see people who’ve obviously been my chem fans for at least 15 years saying things like ‘i’ve watched every video from this tour and this is the first show where i really saw the spark come back’ and ‘that’s the gerard way i remember’ and other cheesy shit like that. and the thing is they’re totally right!
this whole tour developed more fluidly in intensity and meaning than in any of their previous gigs. mcr has always been a band to change with their time and creative drive, but this was a different type of transition to me. you could see as characters started to be built, from gerard DIY’ing his own costumes in europe to increasingly meaningful outfits with whole backstories in the USA all the way to one consistent character with a uniquely terrifying stage presence in the last leg.
that last character, at least to me, is totally gripping. she’s unexplained, she’s scary as hell, she’s near-undead, she has this commanding presence gerard hasn’t really done since early-mid black parade. in every single performance they’re so in-character and it’s such a BLAST
importantly, this character also showed up in the shortest, least-publicized part of the tour. imo she wasn’t meant for cameras, really.
to me it’s so clear that she’s a result of gerard earnestly solidifying where they might want their next artistic endeavors to go - that kind of serious direction, maybe even that character specifically.
he’s talked about how he always has stage characters that reflect his music and, broadly, things they’re working through in their life. the revenge stage character was a mix of both demo lovers which can have a ton of different interpretations, the patient was a joan-esque personification of grief and existentialism, party poison was a pop-art way of dealing with your own artistic/literal death. it makes me wonder why this character, the only truly consistent character this whole tour, came about, and if it’s related to gerard’s nightly diatribes on war and later-tour statements on (presumably) queer/trans rights.
it also makes me think that we have a lot coming in the future. a character that solid and a direction so suddenly bottlenecked into such a specific concept, such a mychemicalromance concept, especially out of a tour that was originally supposed to be a casual celebration of music, i think points towards something new.
#stoned as hell and rhinking about her#been a while sinfe i wrote a massive fucking rant but here we go#gerard way#my chemical romance
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Thoughts on Emmrich while Rook is trapped in the Fade
Kind of obsessed with thinking about Emmrich's deteriorating mental state while Rook was trapped in the Fade.
The first few days he's ultra focused on finding a way to get Rook back. He's a Fade expert -- this sort of problem was made for him to solve. He tells himself he WILL find a solution, because that's why he's here, right? He keeps telling himself that over and over, willing himself to solve this impossible problem.
He stays awake for 48 hours straight. Bellara and Neve are with him at first, each pouring over an arcane text he's brought with him from Nevarra, searching for the very few-and-far-between references of anyone who has physically walked in the Fade. Sometime after the sun rises, he realizes he's alone. He doesn't remember when the others left, presumably to rest.
Lucanis brings coffee. He squeezes the elder mage's shoulder and assures him -- "We'll get her back." Emmrich doesn't look up from the page. He knows that if the Crow could see his eyes, he'd see all the fear and guilt he's trying so desperately to pretend isn't slowly consuming him from within.
By day three he's coming undone. He hasn't shaved, hasn't bathed, has barely moved from his seat amongst an ever-growing stack of books, each carefully flagged or left open wherever he's found even a hint of a clue that could bring her back to him. He dozes off, face down on an open tome. Bellara sneaks in and drapes a blanket over his shoulders, careful not to wake him.
He loses his focus on the seventh day. It's been a week - an entire week - since she's been gone. He'll never see her again. He spent their last night together arguing with her. He lays down on his bed and presses the palm of his hand to the mattress where Rook had once curled beside him. It's cold; there is no scrap of her warmth left.
By day ten he's manic. His mind still replays the argument over and over and over, but the memory is quieter now, interspersed with a hundred other, brighter moments. The curve of her lips as she smiled just for him, the fall of a lock of hair across her face that he gently pushed behind her ear, the sweet sound of her sudden inhalation of breath as they made love. These memories should be a comfort, but instead they torment him with the knowledge of what he's lost. He paces back and forth along the walkway at the top of the spiral staircase in his room, praying that a solution will materialize out of the haze clouding his mind. This cannot be the end.
Darkness takes hold. He's losing himself, losing the very essence of what makes him who he is. There are whispers at the edge of his consciousness, and he knows instinctually that he's become a target of some demon or another - desire, or perhaps despair. He'll rip open the Fade, he thinks to himself. To hell with the Dread Wolf, he'll bring down the Veil if only to get her back. He'll drown the world in demons, in blood, lay waste to everything. His chest heaves, he's frantic now, running his hands through his hair and panting. There is no air in the room, in his lungs. But then he feels a familiar presence behind him. Manfred is there with tea. The madness fades, he regains himself and musters the will to banish those evil fantasies from his mind.
What good would it do to get Rook back if he destroys himself, possibly everyone and everything, in the process? He washes up, shaves for the first time in days, changes his clothes, and goes to find the rest of the team. He cannot be alone anymore with his thoughts.
And then, she is back. She doesn't see how dangerously close he came to succumbing to despair. She doesn't see him unkempt or disheveled. But she knows. He wraps his arms around her in bed that night, hooks his foot over her ankle, drawing her in tight like a choking vine, and she knows.
#emmrich volkarin#emmrook#rook x emmrich#angst#dragon age the veilguard#datv#i don't know where this came from sometime the ideas just come pouring out and I gotta write#it is 1:30 in the morning why am I doing this#my fic
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hey yeah okay so i think i figured out how long Dan canonically stayed in the thermos for.
starting by using Danny's age as a timeline. not an expert on american education systems, but from what i can figure out, CATs are first done typically around the age of 14, which would line up with the shows inability to age Danny up like ever.
because this is then when TUE happened, we can use Danny being 14 as the beginning of Dan's Thermos Time™ (TT). keep in mind that Danny also died in the same year.
"A few years ago" is extremely vague, but we can dial down the possibilities on the fact that he's still a teenager, which means this is automatically somewhere between 16-17.
(I personally go with 17, because i would NOT call 2 years 'a few years', but you can technically argue that he could be 16.)
which means that Dan started TT when Danny was 14, and exited TT when he was 17. therefore, Dan has been inside of the thermos for around 3 years.
another thing:
during TT (according to the ghost in question), he was able to think, scheme, and be conscious and aware of how lonely he was; -presumably- the entire time.
don't know about y'all, but THREE(3) straight years of what is essentially solitary confinement can absolutely change a person. like, an entire upheaval of disposition, integrity, memory, and personality; no wonder his attitude has changed since TUE.
anyways so yeah no Dan went through hell and then stayed in it for so. fucking. long. PLEASE get this man some therapy.
#i really need to stop finding more ways that dan is traumatized hes already fuckin goin through it. fuck#danny phantom#dp#dp agit#agit#agit dp#dan phantom
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oh what a terrible honor it's been (to learn that my blessings are things you call sins)
Hey God, it's me, Eddie. I hope you don’t mind that I’m sitting in your house thinking gay thoughts.
Eddie couldn’t help but giggle to himself as he thought the words. If he couldn’t be a bit silly while having a sexuality crisis in a Catholic church – when could he?
Christopher leaves for Texas, Eddie goes back to therapy, unearths an emotional lockbox he had been fourteen years old when he buried, and has a lot of thoughts about how Buck is sunshine incarnate. In hindsight, it probably should have been obvious he wasn't straight.
ao3 link
t’s been a long time since Eddie Diaz had set foot in a church – of his own accord, at least. He’d been to the christenings and communions and confirmations of all of his various nieces, nephews, and cousins, he’d sat stiff in the pew as he’d watched friends, and family get married, trying his best not to remember how own wedding day, the way Shannon’s hands had shaken in his grip as they promised to love each other until death do them part, both of them young, too young to understand the covenant they were signing up to. Eddie had been there, for all those occasions, but he hadn’t gone to mass, or even sat in a church, just because he wanted to in a very long time.
He wasn’t even really sure if he wanted to be there today, but it was a Thursday, and Christopher was in Texas, and Eddie wasn’t working, and he’d been having an extended mental breakdown for the last few weeks, and before he knew it, he was sitting in the pew of St Brendan’s Catholic Church, listening to a softly spoken priest with an Irish lilt to his accent – faded, after years in America, Eddie presumed, but still there, noticeable in the inflection of certain words – recite the Our Father.
Eddie had never been to St Brendan’s before, but it felt like every other church he’d been to in his life. They didn’t all look the same, necessarily, though they followed the same format, rows of uncomfortable wooden pews and an altar decorated in gold, as opulent as it was suffocating. Eddie had thought it beautiful, before, the way Catholic churches were decorated in gold and jewels, believing for so much of his life that the wealth honoured God – but living life had made him learn the grandeur and displays of wealth were nothing more than indicative of the wealth the Catholic church had hoarded while their devout followers starved, all in the name of faith and of God. True faith didn’t need to be gilded in gold to be sincere, he’d decided.
Eddie had never been to St Brendan’s before, but mass was the same. It didn’t change – though the wording of some of the prayers did. He’d sort of been checked out of being a regular churchgoer by time they had changed some of the prayers, only discovering the difference when he confidently started to recite it wrong at his youngest niece’s communion, his mother fixing him with a glare so icy hell might have frozen over under the power of Helena Diaz’s gaze alone. He’d never learned the new ones, not really, and so Eddie just recited the one’s he’d learned for his own confirmation, the words falling from his lips, muscle memory more than it was faith now.
Our father, who art in heaven ��� hallowed be thy name .
Eddie couldn’t help but laugh, a little, as he murmured the prayer. Hallowed be thy name. He knew the prayer talked about God, their holy father, but the prayer had always made him think of his own father, of the way Ramon Diaz was a hallowed man in his own right, how he parented with an iron fist and expected to be obeyed.
Things were getting better now, with his dad. Maybe – maybe that was part of the fear. Eddie had always been afraid of letting people down, but more than anyone, he was afraid of letting his father down – of seeing that look of disappointment set into every crease of his father’s face, an expression he’d been on the receiving end of for more of his childhood than he’d like to admit. Eddie had tried so hard to make sure he was never on the receiving end of that look again, but nothing he had ever done was good enough – not marrying Shannon, not the way he had tried to take responsibility for his young family, not the army, not the man he had been when he’d come home from Afghanistan.
Distance had lessened the number of disappointed looks, but Eddie knew that was because he was simply not seeing them anymore; he was sure his father sometimes frowned at the phone when they’d finally call, silted conversation about Christopher and life at the firehouse the best either of them could muster.
It wasn’t perfect, but it was getting better.
At least it had been, until his parents had taken Christopher with them to Texas. It hadn’t helped their relationship – but it hadn’t hindered it as much as Eddie had expected either. He was never going to thank them, for the way they had swooped in, ready to take Christopher at a moment’s notice, but he could thank them for giving his son the space that he needed to process. Eddie couldn’t give him that space, right now, but he was grateful someone could. Still – he would be ready to drive to Texas at the drop of a hat when Christopher decided he was ready to come home.
Things were getting better, that was the thing. His dad called, every night, to update Eddie on Christopher’s day. Eddie could hear the familiar sounds of the Diaz backyard as his dad softly spoke, telling Eddie about how Christopher had been to the lake, with his cousins, and how he’d finished another book, and how he was helping Helena to make dinner, right then. It had filled the gap until Christopher had started to call Eddie himself, his voice tinny as he mumbled over the phone, things not quite back to normal, Christopher not willing to talk to him about anything except Marvel and Minecraft and how abuela’s tamales were better than Eddie’s, but better than they were, at least.
Every time they were on the phone, Eddie reassured his parents that he was working on himself. He was back seeing Frank, every week, and at Frank’s encouragement, he’d joined a veteran’s support group. Eddie wasn’t exactly the picture-perfect military veteran he assumed he needed to be, to join a veteran support group, but the rag-tag group that met at his community hall every month weren’t exactly the flag-wearing, gun-toting veterans he’d expected them to be. James was a 63-year-old man from Massachusetts who ran the group – he had moved out to LA to live with his daughter after he retired and referred to himself delightedly as a stay-at-home grandfather. Luisa was a vet around Eddie’s own age, and she’d gone back to university after she got out of the army and got a fine arts degree. She liked to paint, and talked about her wife with a reverence and openness that Eddie could only admire.
He hadn’t said a word the first time he went, and Buck had sat in the Jeep in the carpark, a ready-made escape plan for Eddie in case he decided it was all too much. Eddie had sat quietly as the group had chatted, drinking tea and coffee out of flimsy paper cups, and eating homemade biscuits – made by James, who, as it turned out, was quite the prolific baker – and he’d watched. He’d watched as the group had talked about their bad days, and their good days, and how they were coping with life after the military, and not a single glorious war-story was exchanged.
That was when Eddie knew it was safe to keep going. He was never going to be a man who was proud of his service, and he didn’t want to have to attend a support group of people who’d talk about their time in the military like it was the good old days. He had spoken a little more, the second time he went – Buck doing his groceries, two streets away, rather than sitting in the carpark – and he’d introduced himself, his voice gruff as he tried to figure out what version of Eddie he wanted to present to the world.
Eddie was still figuring that part out – the version of himself he wanted to be, that is.
He was figuring himself out. That was the point. He was trying, he was really trying – and people could see that, Eddie was sure. His parents said they could, at least.
Which was why he was here – in a church not dissimilar to the one he’d attended every Sunday in El Paso growing up – on his knees, praying to a God he wasn’t sure he actually believed in for guidance.
read the rest on ao3
#911 abc#evan buckley#eddie diaz#buddie#911 fic#in which i ramble#in which lorna writes fic#writing this was both hashtag healing#and the fic equivalent of ripping my own heart out with a rusty spoon#so you know. enjoy
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One thing I really love about Detective Beebo is how the timeloops are, for lack of a better word, dynamic. Nothing stays exactly the same except for the location of the mansion and the 10 characters present on the property.
It means Ángel can only warn Oliver so much. Because sure, don't mess with paintings so Eugene Coli can't stab anyone in the clock room. Maybe don't head for the tower because you could fall despite the railings. Ollie, for the love of god, stop wandering off and giving Coli opportunities to ambush you, just stay close to me where I can protect you instead. Ángel can try to keep his friend safe but there will always be things that have changed.
The main reason for this is of course Coli. By having the antagonist be aware of the loops, even be in control of when a loop ends, it means no two loops will ever be the same. It's like how he takes the keys from the aquarium in Round 2 so it's harder for Oliver to get ahold of them. He is frequently waiting in the shadows. He noticed a handful of people were up on the balcony so he set off the bomb there. Oliver went into the shed when he was presumably nearby so he was able to kill Owen then ambush Oliver, hiding the photobook again.
It reminds me a bit of Edge of the 17th by friight (Spoiler warning since they are kinda unavoidable for what I want to say). In the fic, it is revealed that the antagonist, Dream, remembers the loops too and as such, is working directly against Wilbur's efforts to make the events of the day end with minimal casualties. But of course, with each loop, that's another method of stopping Dream that can't really be used again because Dream knows, he remembers and is able to think of ways to counter Wilbur.
The events within the House of Vera aren't particularly akin to this but the sentiment does stand. Coli knows everyone but Ángel is oblivious to what's going on. He can ambush them with axes or detonate a bomb when a small group is in an opportunistic place. Who cares that one of his targets was outside having a smoke at 8pm? It just means he has to be careful not to permanently kill Ángel but as shown by Oliver's death at the end of Round 3, that's something Coli has to keep in mind for all of them.
Compare this to a static timeloop narrative like In Stars And Time or Groundhog Day where everything is exactly the same every loop, only the protagonist is able to change things. This works well for something like ISAT because it's not actually about beating the King like Siffrin originally believes. It's about how their own insecurities are holding them back and literally making them unable to move on with their life. These types of timeloops also lend themselves to higher loop quantities (I think my Siffrin looped 70-80 times and there are literally articles estimating how many years Phil Connors was stuck in Punxsutawney), as opposed to Detective Beebo where they only loop what, 5-6 times depending on the ending? Which I'd say is typical of the shorter nature of dynamic loops in my opinion.
I would argue Detective Beebo would suffer as a narrative if it had a static timeloop. For one thing, Coli's plan falls apart if he can't remember the previous loops and I doubt he'd ever be satisfied if every time he killed his victims was the first time for him. Even if he was the only one to remember until the end, Ángel being another driving force in the plot would be missing. Just because he fails to save Oliver's (or for that matter anyone else's) life for most of the loops doesn't mean he's not using his consistent memory to help Oliver get closer to the answers. And besides, someone needs to be able to remember or else everyone's just looping endlessly.
Anyway, hell yeah to dynamic timeloops. There should be more of them because they're really fun.
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How do you get your siffrins to look adult? I keep accidentally giving them a baby face but I WANT THEM TO LOOK GROWN AND EXHAUSTED LIKE HE DESERVES
okay so i legit think i fail at making siffrin look adequately adult like half the time but here's a general breakdown of my like. thought process when im actually um. thinking .
So first of all heres my general tips for proportioning a face, and how i attempt to keep the roundness of sif's in-game proportions while also like... drawing them more realistically? i had to practically reinvent a Human Style for drawing isat fanart since im a furry artist so a lot of this is fresh in my mind, luckily(?) for you i suppose.
This newness also means you can like, watch me fight and struggle against how the hell to do this in my earlier fanart. so feel free to try and see what changed as i pieced it together.
Another note is body proportion. You note giving him a baby face specifically, but some of it MIGHT be that you're drawing the head too big for your style? Try and figure out how many "heads tall" your figures are and tweak the numbers until you find what looks "adult"
Here I cracked open one of the comics I used CSP Model refrences for (albeit feat Loop, who i envision to be the exact same height as siffrin. i am NOT a tall loop truther i think its funnier when that bitch is five foot NOTHING!!!!!)
drawing sif with adult proportions can be deceptively difficult though on account of their Being A Tiny Motherfucker. Mostly here though, I find that the best way to do this is to drop like 1/3rd of the length of an average drawing figure's legs. Short people tend to have short legs. I know this on account of a lot of my ocs being 5'3" and below (... for... reasons...... unrelated to my own... height.... 100%.... ) so once again I think a lot of this can come down to trying to fiddle with numbers and noting down what works.
OKAY NOW ONTO SOME MORE SIFFRIN-SPECIFIC DRAWING TIPS. like these are what i find myself doing to make them look older if i accidentally baby face them myself
The above kind of chibi-er doodle style im still not sure has Siffrin looking adult enough for my liking (someone who considers them minimum 28) but considering they're presumably genuinely a deceptively baby faced guy at least by game's start (even if they should probably look. unhealthy.) it's like... forgivable.
the bald spot is basically fucking cheating in terms of "making them look older" lbr but i am so fucking insistent on it and i punch the air in celebration every time i see anyone else do it. winner is ME!!!!
Anyway. the body hair thing is funny considering we basically have Word Of God that siffrin is not the kind of person who ever likes being naked/even having their feet out in a casual setting. but like. hi its me the weird fucked up miserable nudity guy. of course im drawing every pockmark and texture on their body.
Another note here is, on their naked form, I avoid overly smooth lines for outlines of the limbs and torso. This avoids making them look "sexy twink thin" (not my bag at all) and instead gives the impression of loose skin from fluctuating weight, uneven fat distribution, skin becoming baggier with age. I also let joints jut out and look sharp wherever I can. This is because im an asexual pervert who likes the human form the mostest when i can see 'imperfections' This adds to the haggard nature of it all, by being reasonably honest about what the kind of persistent decade-long neglect of self care and implied malnutrition would do to a guy
Last note: eyes. i find i end up drawing a vague glassy black smear with a hint of white for the sclera for siffrin like. a Lot. Eyebags to show weariness is not my preferred method as I find it, to be rude, a bit of an overused shorthand. Plus, while sif in game does get eyebags, they're usually more on pushed expressions where they're forcing their face. So I put more emphasis on drawing the folds of the upper lid (which the game does not do) to make them look weary.
I dont think i can elaborate on my opinions on How To Draw Eyes without it becoming a way the fuck too long essay because "drawing emotions good" is like. my number 1 goal in every drawing so even if everything else is scuffed to hell I HAVE TOOO get the eyes right because theyre the most emotive part of the face. if i cant capture an emotion correctly the drawing isnt getting fucking finished is the thing, so....
Luckily for me, drawing over eyes and continously tweaking them by painting over and over and over and redoing them can have the side effect of making them look over-detailed and thus worn/tired/agonised. yes this is why i draw loop's face so scrunched all the time. All I can say for this though is to do a lot of studies of both real life faces & the most emotive cartoon faces you personally have experienced. So like. steven universe is great for this because rebecca sugar is so scary at drawing eyes. theyre so fucking scary at it. or sometimes i just go stare at rebecca's old comics because jesus christ. anyway.
??? but yeah hope this helps. its something i feel like i have a genuine hard time with too, especially since im so intent on keeping their face round & my artstyle is genuinely very cutesy even when i am being weird soo ...?
tl;dr:
draw the eyes smaller, give them a chin, the canon nose helps a lot & dont forget the bald spot. everyone draw the bald spot. for me.
#???? HOPE THIS HELPS IVE NO IDEA WHAT IM DOING BESTIEEEE. imo ppl like dragonymango draw way better adult-looking sifs than me LOL#lucabytetalks#long post#isat spoilers#isat siffrin#two hats spoilers#doodlebyte#soz for the wait time i kinda had to draw pictures to explain anything in a coherent manner. not that this is coherent at all
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I would love if you could write a fluffy negan x fem!reader one shot, there is genuinely not enough!!! I can’t think of any prompts tho I’m sorry 😭 but if you’re not able to write it then it’s all good🫶🏻
déjà vu
⇚ NAVIGATION || MASTERLIST
PAIRING: Negan Smith x Fem!Grimes!Reader WORDS: 3.6k SUMMARY: Being in charge of guarding Negan’s cell has given you plenty of opportunities to spend time with him against your will, but you unexpectedly end up bonding with him. Which is why nothing could have prepared you for finding out that you’ve met before and how. (Reader is Rick’s sister) WARNINGS: fluff, blood … idk what to say just read it!!! SETTING: post-negan alexandria A/N: oh my god nonnie u r absolutely correct i just checked there’s a concerning shortage in negan fluff so ask and you shall receive!!! ps im nawt sure what u had in mind so i hope this works
You hated Negan. End of story.
“Why do I have to be the one to do all this?” you’d complain to yourself every time you were handed the food you’d have to deliver to his cell. But you knew why. Your grief and your injury made you a liability than an asset out in the field, thus you found yourself assigned to something worse than desk duty—Negan duty.
The day your brother presumably died, you were so close to reaching him. Just a couple more steps ahead of you and you could have saved him…
But upon the explosion of the bridge had you skidding away, having you hit your head down on the harsh surface of the ground, blood spilling from under the back of your head as well as your broken leg… It had gotten blurry, but it happened nonetheless.
You were bedridden for a week, and you hated it—being left all alone to bear the weight of your grief. The communities were in shambles, and you couldn’t even bring yourself to lead just like your brother did.
When you got better, the ‘council’ refused to let you out, assigning you instead to managing the damned prisoner you had never once bothered to visit for any reason ever since he got locked up.
Now, there you were everyday, feeding the sick bastard canned tuna for breakfast.
“Where’s the other guy?” he had asked you on the first day you stopped by. Without a word, you gave him his plate, only to sit down across from him, your arms crossed.
“Doesn’t matter, I’m just doing my job.”
“Goddamn,” he said, that grin of his spirited as ever. Fuck this guy. You started to think of ways you could poison his meals without anyone knowing. “They gave you the fun work from home job? Not cool!”
The first time you met Negan was when he came by Alexandria. You weren’t there when the line-up happened, but it changed Rick. You’d never seen your brother so lost, disconnected from himself and everyone.
He didn’t eat the first meal you brought him, or the second, not even the third.
For a while, it was just like that—you glaring at him while he talked all about… Well, Negan talked about everything. He never seemed to shut up. At least when you were around. When you got better, you began going out again to go on supply runs and when you returned to fulfill your tasks of distributing his food, you also began to notice the change in him.
“Took you long enough,” he said. This time, he really took the time to dig in. “How was the outside? Fun?”
“It was alright,” you said. You’d been against holding a conversation with him, having carried the anger you thought your brother deserved to harness against him. But you’d been feeling so alone the entire time, you decided talking wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. “Found a box of canned goods, so that’s that. Good thing I don’t have any assholes taking half of whatever I got.”
“Ha ha,” Negan deadpanned as he continued eating. “I was worried you’d never show up. Been meaning to finally talk to someone.”
“What, you don’t blabber your ass off to any of the guys who’ve visited you?”
“Hell no,” he responded, looking at you as if what you just suggested was the worst thing in the world.
Racking your mind on why on Earth would this dipshit find you entertaining to talk to despite you not holding any form of conversation throughout your entire time together last time, you decided there was only one possible reason. “You think I’m easy to crack.”
“No, are you crazy?” He looked up at you with a grin on his face as he ate his meal from his seat. “You just seem like the listener type. A lot of you Grimes do.”
You wanted to ask what he meant by that, but you kept your mouth shut. You let him talk his ass off until he finished his food before you wordlessly took his plate.
As you were about to leave the room, he called out to you. “This gonna be a regular thing?”
“I hope not,” you said as you stepped out and closed the door behind you, with no intention of making this your daily routine.
Except it eventually did. You don’t know how it happened, but it just did, and you let it. At one point, you started bringing him the food you cooked for yourself, asking him if it was good.
“Are you kidding me?” Negan said in between chews of the spaghetti you made. “I’d go as damn far as saying you might’ve beaten me in my own game.”
“Ha ha,” you deadpanned, parallel to what he’d replied to you on the first day of your routine. “You’re just trying to get me to open your gate for you.”
“Yeah, ‘cause that’s the thing that just tickles ma balls.”
“Fucker,” you laughed.
You brought him all sorts of dishes you tried to cook. You would’ve asked Carol for help, but years after Rick’s death, everyone maintained a sort of distance from each other. It didn’t help that the Kingdom was hours away, and if you brought any of the food you made, it would’ve been rotten by the time you got there thanks to the heat.
It surprised you how easy it was to talk to him. Some days, you’d forget he was even a prisoner, but more of your friend. Then you’d remember everything he’s done and you’d become distant at times. Negan never commented on it, but he noticed it.
Michonne wanted to ask about why you were making food suitable for two people, but even she felt the gap between the two of you. You loved Michonne, but there was definitely a rift there somewhere.
The only time you’d hang out was when you were at the dinner table with her and the kids, and even then the two of you would only talk about whatever it was the kids wanted to talk about.
You were more close to Judith. For one, she was also fun to talk to.
You and Negan had that preference in common—talking to Judith Grimes.
It was thanks to Judith you found out about something. After reading to her in bed, you noticed she seemed to still be wide awake. “What, you’re not sleepy yet?”
“I’m not allowed to tell you,” she said, seemingly scared of something. You wondered if Negan had threatened her, that maybe his kindness towards you was in preparation for something sinister.
“Tell me what?”
Judith beckoned you to come closer. You oblige. To your surprise, your niece leaned into your ear to whisper, “Someone has a crush on you!”
You had a feeling who she was referring to. “Who?”
Judith backed away, sinking into her blanket. “I can’t say!”
“Well, what did this someone say?”
“I can’t tell you! Goodnight, Auntie!” And then Judith covered her blanket over her head, guilty about what she’d said. Could it be?
“You’re really not gonna tell me?” you teased your niece. But you knew that once Judith’s made up her mind, that was it. You watched as the blanket shifted left and right out of Judith shaking her head. “Alright, then. Good night, baby.”
Alas, you weren’t able to have your questions answered when you found out about Negan escaping.
You couldn’t find the words to describe how you were feeling, because it felt wrong to admit you even did feel anything. Maybe he was just using me so I wouldn’t notice his plans to escape… Did he always have plans to escape? Did he get out because of me?
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
When he returned, he looked forward to seeing you again. While waiting, he fidgeted with his fingers. Negan Smith was a man of boastful performances; he always knew how to exude confidence in any situation. Coming back into his cell, he was so sure he’d have a fun time slipping back to your old routine together.
His heart almost leapt out of his throat when the door opened for the second time. The first time, he thought it was you, but he just got a whole lecture about everything.
It bored him to death. He’d returned. There was nothing for him out there, and even if there was… It didn’t matter anymore.
You had to ignore the familiarity in what he called you…
“Hey, gorgeous. Missed me?” He excitedly watched as you came in, his friendly grin faltering when he realized you came in with the food he was originally given during his first few years of imprisonment.
Canned tuna.
“What, no new meal you want me to test today?” he asked, albeit nervously. To Negan’s dismay, his confidence was wavering. “Hellooo?”
Instead of sitting or standing right next to his cell, you sat at the spot you’d taken on the first day. You crossed your arms.
“Oh, you’re pissed.”
You stared at him coldly. It bothered him, really. He’d gotten so used to seeing you with a warm, friendly smile on your face. He thought he’d have the luxury of seeing it again as soon as he returned.
Instead, he was met by your cold script, “Finish your meal.”
Negan began to strategize, thinking of how he wanted his play to be. In an attempt to reclaim his confidence, he decided to play the stubborn card, saying, “Nope.”
But you weren’t in the mood to play. “Alright, then don’t eat.”
“Fine,” he challenged.
But you weren’t the kind to back down either. “Fine.”
You were curious to know the story behind that subtle flash of recognition in his face that disappeared as soon as it came. It piqued your interest, as you recall having this conversation a long time ago…
Deja vu, you thought to yourself.
To your surprise, Negan shook his head. “Jeez, just got goosebumps. Got deja vu there for a minute, it’s insane.”
Though you were intent on maintaining distance from the prisoner, you couldn’t help but ask. It surely was easy to talk to the guy, you had to give him that. “You felt that, too?”
“Felt what?”
“Deja vu,” you clarified. Negan watched as you stood up to approach his cell. “Like it happened before.”
“Is it just me, or are we literally doing some batshit telepathy right now?” Negan jokes. “Makes me think it’s a soulmate thing.”
“It’s not a soulmate thing.” You wrap your fingers around a bar of his cell, contemplating where you might have had that conversation. The first time you met Negan, you felt as if his voice was familiar.
You searched the deepest crevices of your mind, trying to recall a time in your life when you might have possibly met the prisoner. One look at him and you knew he was doing the same.
Nothing came to mind.
“Fine.”
“Fine.”
Except for one. Holy shit. He wasn’t sure, but a part of him felt like it was yanking something out from a library in his mind.
He set it aside for now. He wanted to talk to you first, properly. “[Y/N], this is gonna be a strange request but… Could you come in?”
“What?” you ask, snapping out from your focus. “Why would I do that?”
“Just get in the damn cell.”
“How do I know you won’t trick me just so you could slip out?”
His face screwed up into a frown. “Because I’m not even gonna try. I came back; I chose to. Because of you.”
“What?” you ask again, lost more than ever. It felt wrong that you were expecting something. This was Negan.
The same Negan who…
You shook your head. And you don’t know what force of nature propelled you to be stupid, but you oblige with his request. You sat down next to him on his cot in his cell.
Your backs were to the wall. It felt comfortable somehow. You eyed the stack of books he’d sped through reading whenever he was alone.
Negan set the plate of canned tuna aside, putting his hands on his lap. “You know why I came back?”
“Because you’re an idiot?”
The prisoner laughed, and an unsaid guilt clawed at you from the back of your mind, saying whatever this was… It was wrong. But with Negan, you never felt like you were alone. Which is why it sucked when he left.
“No, stupid. Because there was nothing for me out there.”
“What makes you think there’s something for you here?”
He looked at you this time, his eyes free of the malice you were used to seeing constantly present. “You.”
You had to scoff. “Me?”
“Yeah, you.” He thought back to all the times you’d sat right next to him with bars separating the two of you. How he’d never felt so welcomed except for in your presence.
How he waited for you to visit him. How he was constantly excited for the next time you’d come. How he’d get frustrated whenever it was someone else who’d open the door.
“Thought I was done for,” he confessed. “Until you came and I… I told myself I’d make amends with you out of respect for your brother and your nephew, bless their souls. Then you started visiting me by routine. I knew it was your job, but I never felt like I was behind bars whenever I was with you.”
You didn’t know what to say.
“It means I like you, if you didn’t get that.” He nudged your elbow, looking at you as if he were already expecting you to turn him down. “I just wanted to tell you so you’d understand.”
“I like you, too,” you blurted out.
This time, Negan was the one who couldn’t seem to find the right words to say, much less at least even any words at all.
“Rick dying like that… It changed me. Changed everyone, really. Nothing was ever the same and I couldn’t do anything about it. I felt alone, and I’m grateful you were there when I grieved. It just… Feels wrong to feel this way about you.”
Negan nodded. “I get it.”
You felt his hand on top of yours, rubbing it. He didn’t even realize he’d done it, but he left your hand alone when he noticed he did. You wish he didn’t.
But you had to be brave. Shamelessly, you grabbed his hand in yours, lacing your fingers with his. Negan let you. “You suck at this game, asshole.”
And the two of you froze. He knew where he knew you from, and so did you.
“Ho-ly shit,” Negan started. “Are you GorgeousArsenal777?”
It all made sense now. Holy shit, indeed. “You’re SaviorNutsack69?”
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
Way before the apocalypse, Negan had made it his personal mission to destroy every single child XBOX Games. First was Gears of War.
But he decided he wanted more than just a game with a co-op campaign mode. He needed to obliterate opponents in a ranked multiplayer combat game. It wasn’t that he hated them, he just needed a win…
He found a guaranteed win when he matched with MrPuddingCyborg. It was an easy win, really. It was very clear that whoever was behind that avatar was a newbie, thus it was easy for Negan to rank up.
“Fuckin’ loser,” he said, turning on his mic. “I bet you picked that username ‘cause you thought it was cool, didn’t you! It isn’t!”
“Your technique sucks!” a little boy on the other end said, furious.
“Pants pisser,” Negan said one last time before beginning the game. “Are you shittin’ your pants now? What’re you gonna do, tell your mom?”
The growling on the other end stopped, meaning the kid turned off his mic. Negan scoffed, sensing victory from miles away. “What a fucking crybaby.”
Looking for the same benefits of winning, he requested a rematch. MrPuddingCyborg accepted. Negan leaned back, knowing it was gonna be a cake walk when—
You were killed by MrPuddingCyborg.
What?
Negan’s avatar respawned, but his tactic was used against him.
You were killed by MrPuddingCyborg.
You were killed by MrPuddingCyborg.
You were killed by MrPuddingCyborg.
It went on like that for a while until the two words he most dreaded to find on the screen flashed before him: GAME OVER.
Game over? No way.
Negan ended their match, frustrated to find that his failure jeopardized his progress in getting up to a higher rank.
Affected by his loss, Negan kept playing with two different players before finally getting to the third player.
Negan grinned to himself, gripping his controller with the drive to defeat everyone, but for now, GorgeousArsenal777 would be the one to get the heat.
To his delight, he got the first win. He exclaimed with a mischievous laugh. “Haha! One for Virginia!”
But that was just it.
Negan watched in horror as the player obliterated him in every round. He could already imagine his rank getting lower and lower…
He turned on his microphone. “The fuck’s that about? Are you trolling me right now?”
“Troll you for what? Coins you don’t have?,” taunted a girl on the other end as they waited for the intermission time to finish so they could leave the lobby and play another round. “Checked your account, saw you’ve been here for half a year and you’re still in a mid-tier rank. News flash, you suck at this game, asshole.”
“Game on, Gorgeous.”
“Suck my nutsack,” said the voice on the other end. Somewhere almost ten hours away south of Virginia, you clutched your nephew’s controller with a burning desire to destroy the gaming career of this fucker who pissed off your nephew.
Negan watched in poorly disguised horror as the words notified him of his losses on the screen.
You were killed by GorgeousArsenal777.
You were killed by GorgeousArsenal777.
You were killed by GorgeousArsenal777.
“Listen here, Gorgeous,” he started. Whatever relaxation Negan had was gone. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs, concentrating more than ever. “I am gonna make you regret that you ever got a console.”
You snorted. “I’d like to see you try.”
Negan was dead serious. “Fine.”
“Fine,” you fired back. And just in time, you sent a bomb his way, killing him for another time.
You killed SaviorNutsack69.
While you waited for the next round in the lobby, you and your nephew watched as SaviorNutsack69 approached your avatar. The two of you couldn’t help but snicker as he did.
His mic turned on again. “You’re a cheat.”
You resisted calling him a virgin seeing that he came from Virginia, acknowledging the presence of your eleven year old nephew sitting right behind you with his legs crossed, giggling.
“I could’ve beaten this guy,” Carl said with a laugh.
“I know, pumpkin.” You gave the kid a warm smile before turning back to the screen, eager to destroy this man further. “But guys like SaviorNutsack69 deserve to be obliterated.”
You turned your mic back on. “Not my fault you suck. Look at your avatar, dipshit.”
You and Carl snickered on your end, giggling.
The guy on the other end laughed mirthlessly. “I do not appreciate you talking ass about my Limited Edition skin.”
“Sorry you’re not more appreciative,” you quipped, resisting the urge to laugh out loud. “And sorry you can’t rock a leather jacket like I can.”
Negan hated leather jackets, thought it was too hot. He preferred those loose zip-up hoodies. But was not gonna tell GorgeousArsenal777 on the off chance that she uses it as substance to say he just couldn’t pull it off.
“I can so rock a leather jacket, shitface.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Oh, yeah.” And then he left the lobby before the game could start. You and your nephew burst out laughing at the thought of the dude getting a leather jacket.
He was nothing to the two of you three minutes later, because you let Carl play with his account after that. But SaviorNutsack69? He was not the type to back down from a fight even long after it had ended.
700 miles from Georgia, SaviorNutsack69 got up from his chair and drove to the mall. He ran into the edgiest store he could find with purpose and unapologetically purchased the coolest leather jacket he could find.
And the rest is history.
︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵‿︵
The two of you sat there in silence, the thought of having met before all of this…
It was refreshing—the prospect of destiny. Or maybe it was just a coincidence. Either way, it made you an ounce closer to him.
He grinned. Negan thought back to the leather jacket he abandoned before returning. “Hey, you’re the genius behind my look.”
“Guess I am,” you mused.
Your shoulder brushed against his, and you could have sworn there was electricity there somewhere.
“Feels like a rocky start to a love story, huh?” he asked, looking at you expectantly.
“You think this is a love story?” you asked him nervously.
Negan thought about it for a second, grinning. “I don’t know, do you?”
“Well,” you started. You paused before standing up and leaving his cell. Before leaving, you looked back at him with a smile. “We’ll see.”
“See what?” Negan stood up, holding the bars of his cell only to realize that it wasn’t locked.
“If you’re as bad on garden duty as you are on Call of Duty,” you taunted him with the same spirit you had from all those years ago. “Maybe then I’ll consider if it’s a love story.”
And that was it. You liked Negan, but that was just the beginning of a whole new story. You just knew you were lucky enough to have gotten the chance to meet again.
i'm still building my blog. so for now, just send me an ask to be added to my general taglist :)
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#zirconika.fic#the walking dead#negan#negan smith#the walking dead negan#negan smith x reader#negan smith fluff#negan smith x fem!reader#jeffrey dean morgan#negan fanfiction#jdmorgan#jdm fanfiction#jdm x reader#twd negan#jeffrey dean morgan x reader#negan smith headcanons#the walking dead negan smith
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seventeen members as love tropes: kwon soonyoung
love at first sight (or meet cute au)
'did you hear wedding bells ring? cause that's what i heard when i saw you'
it wasn't supposed to happen. hoshi knew better but he's been sitting at the hotel whole day and boredom clung to his whole body like that stupid fly on the ceiling that refused to budge no matter how many pillows you threw her way. and he knows that it's all for his own safety, knows that fans went ballistic since they learned he landed in this city and he knows that his managers actually want only the best for him. it's just their version of best for him is basically imprisoning him in the hotel and hoshi's version of best for him is letting him roam around the city unguarded. so yes, him walking out of the hotel unsupervised was not supposed to him but oh well, it's too late to think about it now that he's hiding in the very first shop he saw on his way, running away from overly excited fans.
said shop turned out to be a small coffee shop in a ghibli movie characters theme. it's cute, hoshi notes from his position behind the counter. he climbed here the second he entered, quickly realizing that hiding under the tables will not help him. there's no one in the cafe and he has half a mind to call someone from staff when door from his left opens and a person walks in. hoshi instantly shoots up, apologies on his tongue when you finally look up and- oh.
not many things can leave hoshi speechless; he's been in this business for such a long time that it feels like he's seen it all, even some stuff that he wishes he could un-see. he's very used to perfect faces, perfect settings, perfect speeches - he's been trained to know what to say in any situations but right now he's at loss. you are so-
'what the hell you are doing standing behind the counter?!'
-rude. yeah. blinking, he snaps back to reality instead of getting lost in your eyes. it's almost five and sun dances beautifully on your face, it illuminates all your features with an orange glow and he wishes he had a camera with him because whoa.
'i'm gonna call police if you don't step back.' there's slight tremor in your voice but you still try to look confident. 'how did you even-'
'door was open!' hoshia blurts out in his defense, belatedly realizing that this is not a good excuse for hiding behind the counter, where only staff members can go. 'i had to hide, i'm so sorry, but they would've spot me if i chose just take any table.'
your face is very expressive. miriads of emotions change themselves until you settle on confusion. 'hide from who- oh my god, are you a gang member?'
'i-what-' hoshi sputters, looking himself up and down. does he look like a gang member? 'no, i'm- uh, a singer. popular one.'
hoshi is not sure why he added the last bit but it's too late to take it back now. your gaze focuses on his face and he takes this time to study you too. it's hard to pinpoint why, but there's something so interesting and fascinating about you (apart from you generally being really, really pretty). like hoshi could stare at you all day and not get bored, could see you as his muse even.
'okay,' you exhale, looking very done. 'okay. you are a singer. a popular one. hiding from..fans, i presume?' hoshi nods. 'okay. that still doesn't mean that you can stand here.'
hoshi moves like a lightning, quickly jumping to the other side. you're not wearing any badge with a name and he suddenly really needs to know your name. 'sorry again. uh-' he looks around, trying to keep the conversation going. 'can i get one ice americano, please? name is soonyoung, by the way.'
you look... amused. baffled. shocked. hoshi likes how he can pull out so many emotions from you but he is yet to see you smile and that makes him sad. 'okay, soonyoung. one ice americano coming right up, anything else?'
'your name,' hoshi says, beaming, not caring how awfully cheesy that sounded. he goes for a killer: 'i can't keep callling you 'pretty girl' in my mind.'
and there you go, there's your smile. it sets fireworks in his chest and his grin broadens. you look much better with that smile on your face, he decides and proceeds to tell you this loudly as well.
'thank you,' you say, blushing but also laughing.
you don't say your name but laughter is good, hoshi decides. laughter is almost love, no? it can start with a laughter, he is sure. his mind conjures thousands of pick up lines that can you make laugh and maybe, just maybe, if he makes you laugh often enough you'll tell him your name. and then he can get your number and then he can facetime you from whenever and will always be able to look at your pretty face. now that's a solid plan in hoshi's mind and he's never happier for not listening to his managers and running away from the fans because meeting you is worth it ten times over.
a/n: and i finished my 'seventeen members as love tropes' series with hoshi! hope you liked it, let me know! - nini
my other seventeen works are here
my formula 1 works are here
#seventeen imagine#seventeen fluff#seventeen reaction#hoshi x reader#hoshi imagine#seventeen hoshi#kwon soonyoung#kwon soonyoung x reader#soonyoung x reader#seventeen soonyoung#svt fic#svt fanfic#svt x reader#svt fluff#svt imagines#seventeen kwon soonyoung#hoshi x you
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Since this user's posts seem to have been deleted in previous opportunities I copy-paste their words here because they express exactly what I feel about this game. Dragon Age has died, unfortunately.
I'm a big time Dragon Age lover and have enjoyed every game in the series. Personally, I think Inquisition is the best in the series. And I was excited for Veilguard right up until I actually began playing it. Now, I want to clear things up at the start as to what I look for and believe makes a good Dragon Age game. To start, I DON'T CARE ABOUT COMBAT. I. Do. Not. Care.
You can make it Origins tactical. DA2 fast tactical. DAI hybrid. God of War action, I don't care. Dragon Age has always had combat that was...fine. A nice distraction and breakup in between the bits I actually care about: narrative ROLEPLAYING, story, characters, and exploration. I don't give a crap how great the combat is if the narrative roleplaying and writing are poor, I'm not playing BioWare titles for amazing gameplay. I am here for the story, the characters, and the roleplaying. Truth is, for a time I considered DATV's combat to be the best in the series.
And this is why I feel the game is a terrible Dragon Age, because it lacks or fails to respect those elements concerned with narrative roleplaying, story, characters, and exploration. Now, in many reviews and online videos you'll hear some reference often to the drop in writing quality. And a lot of time people will incorrectly say that the writing with the characters is to "modern" or "Marvel quippy" or not "dark" enough. I think these people are wrong, they recognize there is a drop in writing quality from previous games but aren't able to articulate why that is.
Dragon Age has never adopted any sort of faux medieval speech and vocabulary (though we'll get into this more later). This is a series that used "epic fail" as a thing someone uttered in the very first game. It's always had anachronistic dialogue and banter. So why is it such a drop then? Why is it considered poor? Simple. This is a game that does not believe in the world it has setup for over a decade. It does not believe in or engage properly with its own world and lore. I mean, look no further than the title "The Veilguard" a phrase that is never uttered by anyone in our group, and further proof it was a last minute marketing change. Compare to Inquisition where the title is apparent from the start in the game and has actual meaning.
You see, characters in DATV do not feel or react to events the way they should based on the lore. Why is no one constantly asking what the hell the Inquisitor is doing? The Inquisitor is kind of a BIG DEAL when it comes to Solas and Elven Gods, my Inquisitor drank from the WELL OF SORROWS! So why are we sitting around thinking at the start, "hmm lemme think who I can contact who might know more." The Herald of Andraste! They know more Rook, the guy that is technically your boss. The Inquisitor! Who else have you been working for this entire time? Who do you think told Varric to recruit you?!
But even removing the Inquisitor, the Elven Gods being real and also near synonymous with the old Tevinter Gods is kind of a BIG DEAL. It was only a theory fans crafted long ago that slowly revealed itself to be true. And it completely upends known religious dogma on all sides. Yet, why aren't people we meet going through a massive existential crisis? For instance, the Veil Jumpers we initially meet were presumably told off-screen about Fen'Harel, and are seemingly cool with this massive knowledge alone. But then we talk about those two other Gods being released and they're like, "well, shit those two aren't good." As if they have any clue if the fables about those Gods are real when we previously just upended everything they thought about the Dreadwolf! Why are you acting like this is another Tuesday?! Your entire religion is wrong. In that same conversation, Strife notes "Solas might be a bastard, but compared to the Evunaris? Let's just say they weren't know for being kind rulers."
My brother in Anduril, what are you talking about! Elven religion teaches that Elgar'nan was so beloved by the Earth that it "the land brought forth great birds and beasts of sky and forest, and all manner of wonderful green things." And that he fought the jealous Sun that tried to burn the land and all beasts away. Custom says that he and Mythal, "created the world as we know it" after defeating the Sun. He is literally described as one of the "good" Gods. WHY ARE YOU ASSUMING HE IS EVIL! It's like finding out Satan is real, but not as evil as have come to believe and then being told Jesus Christ is back and a devout Christian going, "well shit, that can't be good." WHAT?!
The same goes for Andraste and the Chant of Light, it took me 30 hours of playing before ONE character mentioned Andraste and the implications with the Chant and it was never brought up again. Our entire party is seemingly made up of unphased atheists. Now compare to something like Inquisition which explored this aspect HARD and was amazing for it. You'd get into great debates with religious figures and party members about the implications of Corypheus actually being a Tevinter Magister of old. And you'd talk about what it means towards the religious dogma preached and how much is true. And these intense political and religious discussions are present in every previous game, and not confined to a single conversation with one party member where it is seemingly resolved.
These conversations do not happen in DATV because there is no depth to the writing or engagement with the world. The Elven Gods are evil and need to be stopped. That's it. We don't need to think about the implications this has on Dalish customs and religion. Fuck it, all the Dalish are going to still wear their Vallaslin slave brand tattoos. Let's forget about Trespasser implying Solas was removing them from followers coming to join him. Let's even forget they were likely all told at this point that they are slave brands, nope still going to wear them yet speak blasphemy with every sentence against our Gods. No one cares about Andraste or The Maker or the Chant. Big deal if these Elven Gods contradict the overwhelming majority religion in Thedas. Not a single party member has religious or cultural objections to killing the Elven Gods; not a problem. Not one single elf wants to join Solas in tearing down The Veil and getting immortality again?
Again, let's forget about Trespasser setting up Solas gathering MANY Elven followers from Dalish clans who would be super inclined to join him after experiencing CENTURIES of discrimination and slavery by humans. The better question is what Elves wouldn't join Solas at the start? And what Elves wouldn't look at the other two Gods and go, "meh, maybe we should give them a try. They can't be worse than humans, right?" In DA2 you had elves joining The Qun to escape the discrimination of humans, but not ONE ELF wants to join Solas or Elgar'nan? Those Ancient Elves in the Temple of Mythal? I guess they all died, right?
This extends to EVERY single element of Dragon Age that previously had depth to it, it now has been completely removed. Those murdering Antivan Crows? Oh, they're just good Italian Mob Family that protect their city. Tevinter? Yes, it has poor people, but we're trying to do better. Oh, slavery? No, no we don't show that here. The Qun? The what now? No, they are all Antaam now, and so that means they are all generic evil warlords. No, they don't even attempt to follow their own hardcore view of The Qun like when Templars split from the Chantry, they're just warlords now that like plunder. Dwarves and their rigid Caste society? We don't do that here. Elves and racism across Thedas? Elves used to experience racism? News to me, what's a Shemlen? Never heard of that term, we like all humans. Pirates? That is insensitive, we are Lords of Fortune and we are sure to return any cultural artifacts found to their rightful owners; it belongs in a museum after all. The fucking Fade and spirits? Wait, you mean its different than generic fantasy spirit world? I'm sorry, that's too complicated here.
This either intentional disregard of the lore or plain ignorance also extends to environmental design. The asset reuse from Inquisition is particularly hilarious and must speak to the developers not having time after the switch from MP. Why are the same statues found in Val Royeaux in DAI also in Tevinter and Antiva? Why are those stupid Fen'Harel Wolf statues EVERYWHERE? Even in the catacombs of other Elven Gods! There are no statues of Elgar'nan or Ghilan'nain. Nothing for June or Anduril. Dirthamen. Falon'Din. Nothing. No, the only Gods that seem to get statues are coincidentally the ones who already had assets created for DAI or past titles that could be reused. Hmmm.
This continues into character designs too, why do the Veiljumpers and Shadow Dragons all dress richly? They are supposed to be poor as fuck. There's a codex entry about Veiljumpers finding a lost cache of old ancient elven armor and weapons and so boom they all get to dress like High Elven Lords and not the dirty, poor, wandering Dalish clans they are supposed to come from. Why do this? There isn't even an attempt to explaining why the Shadow Dragons, an organization supposed to be secretive, has branded clothing in bright rich colors and fabrics for all members. Naturally, it must be incredibly difficult for Tevinter authorities to not identify them.
This lack of depth and verisimilitude, naturally, affects all the characters. Because in this game you cannot roleplay and you cannot ask questions. In Dragon Age Inquisition, once you started the game, you could immediately interrogate Varric about what happened to every DA2 character despite the Inquisitor never meeting them, you know because it respects its players. You could speak to shop keepers, blacksmiths, your horse master. You could interrogate every single person to learn more about them and the world. The same goes for your player character in DA2 and Origins. You show in Denermin and find yourself knee deep in a quest to help Wade the Blacksmith craft the perfect armor. Here you can't actually speak to a single shopkeeper to ask questions and get some lore bits. You can't ask party members questions about their background, religious beliefs, upbringing, their factions, etc. You can't ask any returning characters any questions either about what they've been doing. Enter a brand new area? Great, you're not asking anyone questions about this never before seen place.
How does a lost Dwarven thaig survive every single blight? How are their immortal lichs in Neverra? How long has that been a thing? Why haven't they told anyone about the Elven gods or any other knowledge they've accumulated in an immortal lifespan? If immortality is so "easy" why can't Solas just do that to restore the Elves? Why are the Venatori, Tevinter Supremacists, following Elven Gods? Wouldn't that be a major identity crisis? Why would Antaam, who still preach the Qun, follow an Elven God that speaks blasphemy with ever breadth? Sshhhh, no questions. You get what is directly told to you and that's it, no follow-up questions.
Party members do not conflict with each other or interrogate each other's beliefs which is why their banter feels inconsequential and meaningless. Lucanis is a assassin, he kills people for money. The same organization that marked Zevran for death for failing a contract. The same one that took him as a kid and trained him to murder, often brutally, for coin. And yet no one really seems to care. He's just a nice Italian assassin from a nice assassin organization. Who cares. Let's instead talk about cooking, at length. Harding, a devout follower of Andraste, has no qualms with Elven Gods wreaking havoc on known religion. We get one conversation you can tell her to believe what she wants, and that's the end of that debate. Bellara also gets about two whole conversations about the conflict concerning her Gods wreaking havoc, both easily resolved. We don't need to think about any larger implications or doubt her loyalty when the Elven pantheon are seeking to restore her people that have been discriminated against since forever. Emmerich, a necromancer of Neverra, apparently has no religious belief. A codex entry even states that those of the Mourn Watch don't know where the soul goes after death. They don't like to think about it. Buddy, Mortalitasi belief is literally that our souls return to the Void alongside The Maker, but to keep balance a exchange must be wrought with The Fade to allow a spirit to house the now empty vessel. How do you not know the religion and customs of your own faction and land? This man has a whole quest line about funerary rights, yet not ONCE mentions religion and what he believes happens after death?! Sshhhh, no questions. No thinking.
Hey, remember The Fade? Remember how mages go to dream there every night. Remember how The Black City is always visible there? No? Well, we don't either. You won't see The Black City in The Fade. You might see it in The Crossroads in a closed off section, even though it is NOT The Fade. Oh, we're going to have you physically enter The Fade in multiple quest lines and no one will think it's a big deal. No, you still can't see The Black City. Now, The Fade is reduced to nothing more than your generic fantasy spirit world. It has none of the previous rules and lore that bound it before. Demons can bind to non-mages and we won't attempt to explain it. Solas fucks with The Veil and not a single mage notices a change in their dreams when they sleep at night. No biggie.
Lastly, let's return at last to the actual minutiae of writing. I stated at the start the writing isn't bad because of Marvel quippiness, which the series has always had. I was partly lying. Yes, the series has always had anachronistic dialogue. It has had meme language in its own previous titles. But, it was just that, a small joke here and there. For the most part the series actually tried to use it's own sort of "older" speech patterns. I think a perfect example has to do with Taash, she eventually finds her own identity and declares she is proudly "non-binary." Literally stating, "so, I'm non-binary." I have no issue with this sort of inclusivity in Dragon Age, it's what the series is known for. Yet, why does that sound wrong? Simple, it's far too anachronistic. It doesn't belong in Dragon Age. In Inquisition, Dorian let's us know he's gay. But he doesn't say, "I'm gay!" or "I'm a homosexual" those terms would not exist in his world. Instead he says, "I prefer the company of men."
And it's these little subtle changes in writing that makes it feel all the more different. We went from "I once ventured in to The Fade to serve the Old Gods of Tevinter in person. I found there only chaos and corruption. Dead whispers. Now I shall return under no name but my own, to champion withered Tevinter and correct this blighted world gone wrong. Pray that I succeed, for I have seen the throne of the Gods. And it was empty."
To: "Well, shit. That can't be good."
So, what do we have when all is said and done? Well, we have a decent generic fantasy action game. An intentional attempt by the developers to remove every edge from the world of Dragon Age in place of a very simple, easy to understand world with not much depth beyond what you see. You don't need to think, just play and have fun. This is beyond turning a MP game into a SP game, which so blatantly obvious in this game. DA2 was developed in 16 months, but is carried strong by its writing. You see, nothing prevented them from just acknowledging their own world they created. It costs very little to write around what already exists. Even if you can't make no assets or redesign the world. Writing is cheap and having characters voice these elements is not as costly as a redesign. No, they chose to remove the edge in every element because this was design intentionally for the masses with easy to understand world and zero depth.
But I wanted to play Dragon Age. I wanted to get into intense religious debates with party members as known lore is completely upended. I wanted to debate Elvish clans deciding to join Solas or the other Gods due to their treatment by human society. I wanted to debate the ethics of necromancy with the Mortalitasi of Neverra's Crypts. I wanted to engage in intense debating with Solas on the ethics of his goal. I wanted to see Tevinter react to a real push for anti-slavery and actually see the slavery in the slave capital of the world. I wanted to butt heads with the Antivan Crows and call them out for the murderers they are. I wanted to see the Black Divine and debate the Chant of Light with them. I wanted to speak to the Archon of Tevinter and see how he felt about the Venatori's past efforts in Inquisition. Hey, what happened to Meredith Reborn in Kirkwall and her idol and Red Templar worshipers? Forget about it.
We got none of this. I got a game that is pretty much disrespectful of its own world. I waited 10 years for this? Why even bother if this is the result? They may as well have just killed every previous character we ever knew, including Solas, offscreen and started anew with this game. Because as a Dragon Age game and sequel, it's terrible and no returning character is how they should be.
And when we get to the ending, that's pretty much what they did. Everything you did in all the past games? Well, that was pointless. Everyone is probably dead. King Alistair. Gaspard. Celene. King Bhelen. The Arl of Redcliffe. The Divine. The Circle of Magi. The Templars. The Seekers. Everything, everyone, and every organization that existed in the South is likely dead and destroyed. And now Dragon Age can become what they wanted, a generic fantasy IP.
But I just wanted to play Dragon Age.
#dragon age#dragon age critical#dragon age spoilers#I finished this game... and now just mourn the end of a fantasy world that was so much and now is nothing
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so ever since the quizzes came out and we finally got confirmation on what the hell it is that all the other contra-elementals can do, i’ve been obsessed with the confirmation that.. Lasko is canonically super fucking powerful as a magic user, and specifically as an air elemental. here’s why: (possible tw: mention of asphyxiation as it occurs across the storyline and the Imperium briefly)
in the first video where contras are really brought up - Audio RP | Catching Up and Hanging Out With Your Himbo Friend [M4A] - Huxley uses fire elementals and fire-contras as his main example for how elementals and contras compare: he talks about how fire elementals are great at producing heat, but it takes far more effort for them to be able to take it in, and even when they do, they cannot take in much. that’s something that fire-contras are much better equipped to do, since that’s their specialty.
we already know that specialists will always be the most capable when it comes to performing their specific branch of magic, and for everyone else, that’s something they have to train and build to over time.
Lasko is an air elemental. air elementals are great at controlling air, and again, producing gusts, hurricanes, flurries of wind and such. it is specifically air-contras that specialise in taking large amounts of air in, and thus creating vacuums.
do you see where i’m going with this?
we know from what Lasko revealed about his past that, even completely untrained, he was able to completely take in all the air in a room - which he and his mother were standing in, so, presumably it was one of the main rooms in his childhood home, not just a tiny storage space or a cupboard under the stairs - Lasko managed to take out all the air in that entire room, creating a vacuum strong enough that his mother could not breathe in.
and we know that this wasn’t a one-time fluke due to his powers manifesting, because he’s still capable of performing this ability, seemingly without substancial effort. in his very first audio - Audio RP | Nervous Air Elemental Guidance Councillor Schedules Your Classes [M4A] - Lasko mentions that he “should’ve just negated all the air in the room to douse the flames” when Damien set his papers on fire, but this time decided not to, since he “can’t just suffocate him” (referring to Damien).
also, if we want to bring the Imperium storyline into this, (which i understand that technically, President Moore is a different character, but let’s say that theoretically they would be at similar power-levels - since the only way to improve your magic is by training it, and both characters started from the same parentally-established-magically-restrictive-humanborn place, and spent presumably the same amount of time at the academy) President Moore is able to take all of the air out of a room and create a vacuum able to asphyxiate a person even “through a wall,” “just as simply” (holy fuck). and, in addition to this, Vindemiator blatantly says “you’re strong, Lasko” as he’s pinning him. he has no reason to lie or to inflate (ha ha) Moore’s ego, in fact, Vindemiator is very open with how much he despises Moore, so i’m inclined to believe the powerful demon when he admits to Moore’s magical control.
but, even without considering the Imperium, i think it’s definitely something to think about. even just as an air elemental, Lasko is able to wield air-contra magic like it’s just a part of his natural skillset. Lasko Moore is a fucking powerful magic user.
- i would like to point out now that it’s entirely possible that Mr Redacted didn’t have everything fleshed out from the beginning, and that Lasko’s ability to take in air could have originally been just a part of air elementals’ capabilities, (and then with the inclusion of contras, things got divided and changed) but i think it’s fun to believe and theorise regardless.
in conclusion: holy fuck, Lasky
#redacted audio#redacted asmr#redacted lore#redacted lasko#redacted imperium#tw asphyxiation#just to be safe#lasko moore#holy fuck#lore rambles#i fucking love magic systems
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Do you have any Teruvid headcanons??? If so... *Grabby hands* 🥺👉👈
Hey! Man, Teruvid, huh? Well, I have to be honest and say I don’t know if I fully grasp what the dynamic would be like, but I’ll see what I can do! Non-despair AU as always, just to keep consistency with my other ship posts :v Or, perhaps a better term would be "non-killing game AU"; it's hard to imagine Teruvid without despair lmao.
CW: Toxic relationship, gaslighting.
How this relationship would start is hard to imagine, really. Especially outside the stress of the killing game. Teruko never believed David’s cheery persona was real, so she didn’t like the guy from the start.
However, outside of the killing game, David wouldn’t be actively trying to kill anyone, and Xander and Teruko would probably still be friends, so it actually works out better than expected. Presumably, the way this works outside the killing game is that David eventually realizes Teruko doesn’t believe his façade and chooses to start dropping it around her, eventually enjoying her company just because he doesn’t have to keep up a tiring act. Teruko doesn’t like him at first, so I imagine it would be David confessing. Something like, uh...
David: We both know no one will ever love us the way we are. And we won’t love each other either, and this is going to end horribly. Teruko: Then why the hell are you even asking? David: It’s for your benefit, you know. More than anyone else, you must be well aware your luck will ruin any relationship you ever have. Teruko: … David (fake smiling, stars in eyes): But most of them will try to be optimistic, won’t they? Thinking themselves above your luck, wishing that if they just try hard enough, this time, it will work out. How hopeful~. Teruko: … And? David (smirking): And that just means it will hurt them all the worse when it all comes crashing down. And you'll feel even more miserable after all's said and done than you did in the first place. That wouldn't happen with me. Not that I'll let you, but you wouldn't care if you hurt me anyways.
Yeah I can’t see this relationship being healthy in any way lmao.
Like, they hate each other even together, that’s the Vision of Teruvid shippers right? They would both be miserable the entire time it’s happening, since they both reinforce the worst and most damaging views the other holds. If the Ultimate Inspirational Speaker can’t even inspire himself to think things can get better, then Teruko has no reason to believe they will. And if Teruko never tries to change despite hating her life, then that confirms to David that people can’t change. The relationship is held together by the illusory comfort of confirmation bias; neither has to challenge their worldviews like they would in a relationship that genuinely made them happy, so they feel at peace in their shared misery.
Speaking of, the most common intimate interaction is venting to each other about whatever bullshit they got going on, be it unfortunate events or Speaker business annoyance. Now, neither is particularly good at giving comfort, but they’re also both bad at receiving it (they don’t understand the concept that people can feel genuine affection towards them, of course), so they settle on just… not comforting each other. Just a simple “sucks” after a long rant, or even laughing at each other’s misery, but again, illusory comfort in being able to vent out their issues without having someone actually worry and care for them, because they don’t know how to handle that.
Other than that, lots of just cuddling while doing random shit. They’re both horrendously touch starved, so they never stay physically apart if possible.
That said, though, they’re not very public with their relationship. Obviously; if Teruko never seemed to like David, then they’re suddenly together, that’s gonna raise a few eyebrows. And David still tries to keep up the Speaker persona outside his one on one interactions with Teruko, a persona that Teruko dislikes due to its disingenuity, so they never really hang out in the presence of others.
Their closest friends know, except none of them actually realize that David’s persona is a lie. They think they’re keeping it quiet not to attract attention to Teruko, given David is a public figure and all. Because of that, they actually think they’re good for each other, thinking that David’s optimism and Teruko’s pessimism balance out to be pretty functional. This fundamental misunderstanding of their relationship makes David and Teruko both feel even more alienated from their friends, which feeds into the codependency. They need each other, because they’re the only ones that get it.
Indeed, this is a serious “they would make each other so much worse” situation, I can’t see Teruvid in any other way. Unless they both get some serious therapy, and even then, the way I’ve described the relationship, it would fall apart if either of them were any more stable. So, uh, yeah.
I kinda struggle to come up with much more than this for these two, so I hope that was okay! Thanks for the ask!
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BTW if you're an oldie and wondering "hey didn't you say you were working on framed!Gaz x Lawyer!Reader?"
The answer is yes but then I read Penance by Eliza Clark and changed the whole vibe of the fic. :) Sneak peak under the cut!
Warning: There will be brief periods of racism / microagressions. If that makes you uncomfortable then skip this one, yeah?
A.N. This is completely unedited and very likely to change a little if not entirely
At around 6:40 a.m., on 24 November, thirty-six-year-old Marvin Cleakley was found bludgeoned, doused in petrol, and set on fire outside of O'Malley's Tavern in Hier Hills, North Carolina. His assailant presumed to be one of many visiting tourist to the mountain town – all of which who'd seemingly attended the same securities conference at the Miltmore Hotel.
The violence rocked the small town of Hier Hills, located just north of Asheville. It was close enough that tourist flocked to catch a good deal – be it on lodging or food – yet far enough that most hotels hadn't been renovated since the Flood of 1916 – when most of the wealth got the hell out of dodge, and the ones who came back to the region settled in the more established city further south.
Though small, the folk of Hier Hills are proud of their town – enough so that all five attempts to incorporate it into Asheville city limits have failed. The citizens denounce the need for extra funding, a college to call their own, and the apparent need to have more breweries per capita than any other city on the east coast. They pride themselves on their loyalty to their town – the almost idealistic vision of themselves that they were like a badge of honor, one that no one and nothing could take away. They see themselves in every small town romance. Every blue collar hero story. Each and every movie where the main character claims to be a simple man with a simple routine.
So it's no surprise that the first article about the murder reads more akin to a movie script than a horrific event.
EXCLUSIVE: Local Waitress Tells All
It is silent in Hier Hills. The sun has yet to rise, snow settles in powder flakes against the grass, and Shirley Rose is making her way to the diner on Main. Her Chevy truck rumbles down the road, backfiring every fifteen feet – a mechanic issue that she swears she'll fix one day, but food in her baby's mouth is more important. She pulls into the diner, bracing herself to leave the warmth of the cabin, when she notices something distressing. The light is still on at O'Malley's. O'Malley's – est. 1989, located off of Sherry Rd and Arthur St, sharing the same parking lot as Carolina Diner – closes at half past 2 in the morning, every morning. Ever the Samaritan, Shirley called out for John McAllister, the Owner, expecting him to be doing some late night task or another. Interviewer: and you called out for John because…? Shirley: Well normally he's the only one there so late. So I assumed if the light was on he'd probably just lost track of time and needed a cup of coffee. When Mr. McAllister didn't respond, Shirley assumed he'd just didn't hear her. Instead, she approached the shop. Here she notes that her boss, Mrs. Greenwood, was approaching the diner. It's as her boss' car pulls into the parking lot that Shirley sees inside O'Malley's and witnesses The Scene. Shirley: Sorry, but it was Horrific ya know? I mean I couldn't even tell it was Marvin – the right prick. But I remember screaming, because what else do you do, ya know? If it weren't for Mrs. G I don't know how long it would've taken for me to snap out of it and call the police. Interviewer: and was it you who called the police? Shirley: no it was one of those visitors. I guess they were here for the conference. I hadn't seen them arrive but one moment I'm screaming at Mrs. G that someone's on fire, and the next there's this n– black boy with his phone out pulling us from the door because the fire caught on the bar. Interviewer: A Black Boy? (Note: there's no mention of this boy, or man, in the official statement by Buncombe County police.) Shirley: he said his name was Kyle. We could not locate any such tourist – Sheriff Higgins claims he is nothing more than a figment of Shirley Rose's aging mind and the traumatic event. Carolina Diner and O'Malleys will be closed for the forseeable future as they rebuild from fire damage. Mrs. Greenwood, the Buncombe County Police Department, and John McAllister did not respond for comment.
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Fall 2024 First Impressions Digest Part 1
I've been streaming a lot more often on my YouTube channel (which you should go subscribe to and watch and like all my vods and leave comments I won't read) so I don't have the time or energy to watch everything this season, so here's my one-to-two sentence impressions of the stuff I did watch.
Tying the Knot With An Amagami Sister: I dropped this one about 10 minutes in. It was boring.
Acro Trip: it's like if Gushing Over Magical Girls was a bit more genteel in its horniness. It's very cute and funny. Definitely recommend checking it out, especially if you like magical girl stuff.

'i learned all about it playing critically acclaimed mmorpg final fantasy xiv'
Uzumaki: It's about as good a Junji Ito adaptation as we're ever likely to get, which sounds like damning with faint praise but I did enjoy it.
How I Attended An All-Guys Mixer: Fellas, is it gay to think a drag king is hot? In any case, the title is a lie: it wasn't an all guys mixer; it was 3 guys and 3 women in drag whom we are meant to presume are cis but I'm pretty sure Suoh at least is a trans guy, since he presumably arranged the thing so his 'oh we didn't have time to change after work' excuse doesn't fly. Either way, it's a pretty cute show but doesn't seem to be licensed for streaming by any Official Sources it's on Hulu.
KINOKOINU: Why is the anime about the fucking pink mushroom that turns into a goddamn bipedal dog that sets shit on fire so fucking dour? If you want to watch an anime about a depressed, orphaned author in his 20's who lives in a Japanese-style house and has a nosy blond editor, whose life and mental health start to improve after meeting a cute critter, just watch My Roommate Is A Cat instead.

they played this moment 100% seriously. how the fuck do you play a moment like this 100% seriously
NegiPosi Angler: This anime starts with an suicide attempt and ends with the protagonist's home being destroyed and it's still a hell of a lot more fun and lighthearted than goddamn KINOKOINU.
DANDADAN: I'm already familiar with this one since I've been getting caught up on the manga. You probably don't need me to tell you it's good, though, since it's the most hyped anime this season.
365 Days to the Wedding: I read this manga while it was running because it's by the same guy as The World God Only Knows, which is one of my favorite manga of all time. It's a cute little romance between two very autistic people, both of whom are working adults and not teenagers. I like Dandadan but this was my most hyped anime this season. Check it out.
#tying the knot with an amagami sister#acro trip#how i attended an all guys mixer#kinokoinu#negiposi angler#dandadan#365 days to the wedding#uzumaki#fall 2024#first impressions
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(𝙞 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙖) 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙮, 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙣𝙚𝙭𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙚. - kiyoomi s.
content warning !! - angst to comfort so essentially fluff, blackfem!reader, drinking implied but no intoxication, suggestiveness if you squint, mayhaps ooc but idc i do what i want
This isn't him. No chance in hell. He's supposed to be big, ignorant, and one-track minded Sakusa—MSBY Black Jackal's infamous outside hitter. His identity's been tainted by some girl he managed to wriggle into his life, denting his plans but not quite hindering them.
He used to threaten others with his wrist, messing with little kids by folding his hands. Said person told him to stop it, and he did. He can't remember the last time he crouched down to an 8-year-old and watched them run for their mother because of him. Sakusa had a strict hair routine that wasn't going to change no matter how long his hair got, the same four products he's used since his mother taught him how to take care of his curls. That woman came along and he'd let her share his bathroom, adding one extra product she claimed would make his curls more full which indefinitely worked.
In his first year of highschool, he would've freaked out discovering his future self succumbed to his natural teenage tendencies and fell for what he can only describe as the prettiest girl in the world.
She looked so ethereal barging into their practice one day, approaching Komori and exchanging words regarding whatever required discussion. Days passed of just Sakusa debating putting his pride aside just to talk to a girl. In the long run he didn't, but thankfully lucked out when Komori picked up on his interest and invited them both over.
"'Coincidence' my ass."
To this very moment, he cherished every day spent they together. Hence why he's so pressed that he's missing her, sitting on his hotel bed, finger hovering over the 'My World 🗺️' UI in his contacts. He never changed it.
She plauged his mind with her being. He wants see her again, feel her hands in his hair, scrub the hard-to-reach spots on his back (he can reach them, he just prefers for her to do it), apologize for his ignorance, pride, and one-track mindset; all of it.
Damn it all.
The rowdy bunch kept him busy all day, it's their fault he's waiting for the stupid ring back to either stop or tell him he's reached her voicemail, he hopes it's the latter that way he can flush down that reprehensive feeling of reaching out to her so late. What were they thinking taking him out for drinks?
"Hello?" Sleep and disorientation transmit on his side, regardless, he's grateful to hear her voice again.
"Baby? It's me," He sounds so pathetic, he can only imagine what she thinks of him for pulling such a stunt. "I miss you. So much, baby. You don't even know." It's unfathomable, not even Sakusa knows why he's doing this.
Yes he does. He wants his girl back. "I know it's late, I'm sorry for waking you, I just had to let you know." Sakusa speaks low into the phone, not so much a whisper, but to the point where she won't be disturbed. "Sakusa? The hell? It's like—"
"Kiyo. It's Kiyo to you." He never talked over her, except for this and one other time. He swears it's the last time, shutting up so she can finish. "Two in the morning? I have work." Either his surname or not at all, that's okay, he's determined to fix that. "Just listen to me, 'kay?"
"I never should've blown up at you. I was exhausted, tired, annoyed, I didn't mean anything I said. I should've talked to you, you know I would never voluntarily raise my voice at you, right? I can't keep this up. I wanna see you, I need to see you. Please, love." He's never felt more humiliated like this in his life, begging over the phone for his woman to take him back.
It's quiet, the faint squeak of her fan in the background. An annoyed grunt is detected presumably her sitting up. "Aren't you in Tokyo right now?" She has a point, but that's never stopped Sakusa from getting what he wants. "I'll make the flight, just say the word." He might just be willing to ditch the entire game, he'll do so at her command. "You're delusional. C'mon, you're not flying all the way out here just to see me. You better play tomorrow, I'm serious. I'm not in your way anymore, focus on volleyball."
He's not getting through to her. She's slipping from his fingers with the tight grasp he has on her. "Y/n. I'll say 'Fuck the team.' and blow it all for you. You've never been in my way, ever, so stop thinking like that. I'm sitting here, butt-naked in a towel on expensive ass bedsheets begging you to take me back. I don't know what I have to do, but I'll do it if it means I can be in your arms again, babygirl."
Silence again—meaning the worst or the best from her. She shuffles around a little, and digs through some type of drawer of sorts before finally speaking again.
"You better win."
Sakusa Kiyoomi is a lovesick fool, he admits it. Anything for his woman. And he means anything.
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