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scullydubois · 4 years ago

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memory-bound: a revival one-shot

Set between Rm9sbG93ZXJz & My Struggle IV, Scully moves back into the Unremarkable House after her smart home burns down and returns to an age-old ritual: coloring her hair.

T, 1.8k, fluff/domestic fluff, read on ao3 here.

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Lamp light casts shadows on the wall as Scully unpacks in a place she never thought she’d find herself again: the master bedroom she and Mulder shared for almost a decade. She lays her remaining clothes on the tribal-patterned bedspread and smirks at how little the room has changed. She expected to be put up in the guest room and was perfectly fine with that. They had rarely gotten any use out of it--she figured an inhabitant would do it some good. Imagine her shock, then, when Mulder told her he hadn’t slept in “their” room since she left. That the room was all hers.

It shouldn’t have surprised her that after a decade of a bed, he returned to what he knew upon losing what he had known. He swapped the couch he slept on for seven years for a Barcalounger. An old man needs his amenities, he joked while showing her its heat and massage functions. And she felt a gnawing in the pit of her stomach, the mark of a fool.

She salvaged what she could from the fire, but most of her Bethesda things were ruined. That soulless smart house was never worth its automated thermostat system, let alone any of its other data mines disguised as gizmos. Mulder hated it--hated it, like, wouldn’t step foot in it, and if she’s being honest, that was the only selling point for her: the shelter it offered from his incessant search for truth & his unsatisfiable conscience. This was back when she felt like that was something she needed to get away from, of course. She had wanted to settle somewhere and mean it. Now, she realizes they were settled all along.

She rests a pile of folded clothes in the crook of her arm and pulls open her old dresser. She envisioned cobwebs--maybe even a whole family of spiders--in there, but instead, a ratty New York Knicks t-shirt greets her. And a Spaceship Earth one under that, and a Wile E. Coyote one under that. Her holy trinity of Mulder t-shirts. She refused to take them when she left, though he insisted. And in protest, he hadn’t worn them. She knows this instinctively, though the lack of laundry scent confirms it. They’ve been waiting in this drawer all along, captives to Mulder’s fantasy that one day she would open it again.

Scully squeezes her eyes shut, slips the pile in next to the shirts, slams the drawer, and grabs her toiletries bag off the bed, striding into the bathroom. She can’t dwell...she can’t. She’s learned by now that regret is a state of mind that freezes her up, and there’s no being frozen, not any more.

Unzipping the bag, she lines her various products along the counter. Age-defying this, anti-aging that...sunscreen is really the only thing that’s done her any good. That, and hair dye. She keeps the others around for show.

Speaking of...she pokes at her roots, scouring the mirror for signs that yes, she could theoretically be a grandma--and she can’t say for certain that she isn’t--but to her knowledge, she’s not, and as long as no one calls her Grandma, she won’t accept the title.

She won’t accept the gray hairs, either. One day, sure, but not yet. Mulder’s not even gone gray yet, and he has years on her. She’s told him that he would look great, and that the silver fox nickname would be nothing short of perfection, but he swears that he just hasn’t lost his “natural luster” yet, that he’ll embrace the gray when (if!) it comes.

Scully’s not been so lucky, though it doesn’t show. She’s been coloring her hair every three weeks since she was twenty-eight to keep the ravishing red. She’ll never forget when Mulder realized it wasn’t her natural color...the way his eyes widened as he moved between her legs…

It’s not as if he didn’t know; her mousy auburn had been on full display when they first met, and yet he’d gotten so used to seeing her as she is that it slipped his mind that she hadn’t always been that way. And once they moved in together--in this very bathroom, actually--he loved to help her with the coloring process, was as fascinated by it as the prospect of alien-human hybrids.

She chooses the tube of Rock it Like a Redhead dye from her product line-up, looks at her reflection. It’s been five--no, six--nearing seven--years since she performed this ritual in this room. She glances down, and sure enough, the tile still bears a rust-colored stain from one of her sessions gone wrong. It makes her smile...she has a history here. They have a history here.

She sighs. For old time’s sake, she might as well...she’s found herself thinking that a lot lately.

Her old robe--her usual attire for the occasion--fell victim to the fire, but she’s got a good substitute in mind. She pads back into the bedroom and plucks the Wile E. Coyote shirt from the drawer. It’s black, hopefully that will hide any stains. Her slacks are too damn expensive to risk an accident, so she briefly considers stripping to her panties before settling on a pair of gym shorts.

Her get-up in place, she grabs a few clips from her bag and pins her hair up in four sections. This is one of the reasons she got her chop; her long hair was sexy, but it was a bitch trying to cover all those layers. Plus, Mulder is fond of “the Scully shag” as he calls it, though she corrects him every time (it’s not a shag Mulder, it’s a bob!). It reminds him of their firsts, she imagines. It’s almost as if the longer her hair got, the further apart they drifted. And once they were okay again, it was imperative that she bear her neck to him...show him the place where his lips should land.

She decides to stand in the shower (water off, of course) so any mess can be rinsed away. She wonders, suddenly, if the square mirror they used to keep is still suctioned to the glass interior. It’ll be hard to do this alone if it’s not.

She peeks in, and it’s not there, and that must be the only thing in this house Mulder has moved. Figures. She slips off her shoes and grabs the applicator and dye tube. She’ll do the best she can, then use the bathroom mirror to make any touch-ups.

Scully steps into the shower. Its characteristic lemon scent is gone, and that makes her sad. It used to be a welcome change from the antiseptic hospital smell she dealt with all day. Wielding her tools, she starts at her roots, spreading the dye along her scalp with expert precision. Surely this counts as a workout--it takes a lot of energy to hold your arms over your head for this long. Will her Fitbit calculate how many calories she’s burning, she wonders?

She’s just started a new strand when a gentle rap echoes through the wall.

“Scully?” Mulder’s voice rings from outside the bedroom. She pulled the door slightly shut when she entered.

“Come in!” she calls. “In the bathroom.”

She hears footsteps in the adjacent room, then a hesitant breath as Mulder pauses at the doorway. “Are you decent?”

Scully looks down at herself. What a picture. “I’m in a Wile E. Coyote t-shirt and gym shorts. Does that answer your question?”

Mulder shuffles in, smirking at the sight of her through the open shower door. “What are you doing?”

She points to the crown of her head--which is already well within his field of vision--so she’s not sure why he needed to ask the question.

“Well, I see that,” Mulder concedes, “but I mean, why are you hunched over in here like you’re hoping to grow a third arm?”

Scully shrugs. “A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.”

“That’s just as lame as ‘boys will be boys,’ and you know it,” he counters, remembering a spirited lecture she once gave him on the misogynist undertones of the phrase. Scully smirks. They had that conversation years ago...post-William, pre-Bahamas. She’s surprised that it stuck with him.

She tilts her chin in a way that makes Mulder certain she’d have her hands on her hips if they weren’t occupied. “What do you suggest?” she challenges.

“Let me help you,” he proposes before she can launch a protest. His sneaker’s rubber sole meets the shower tile as he slips in beside her. The wall is cold against her elbow as she scoots back to make room for him.

“I’m fine. I’ve been doing this on my own for years, and I was long before you.”

“But now you have me,” he professes. “Here. Right now,” he clarifies, not meaning to label their as-yet undefined relationship status.

Their eyes meet, and Scully’s hit with the last time the two of them were in here--her legs around his waist, his hands sliding through her hair, droplets that couldn’t be placed as shower water, sweat, or tears. Her spine straightens against the very wall where she was pinned. Times change, yet they don’t. History repeats itself in a slightly different key.

“When I was younger, I did this because I liked the color,” she tells him, finishing a section and lowering her hands. “Now, I do it out of necessity. It’s sad, Mulder.” She juts her lower lip out in a faux pout. “We’re getting old.”

He would hug her, but he’d mess up her hair and it would be a whole thing. “Hey, I’ll be pushing your wheelchair with my wheelchair, remember?” he says, taking her slip into sentimentality as permission.

Scully nods, the delicate memories of years past bringing a slight frown to her face.

“Can you do me a favor?” she asks, raising to her tiptoes, then lowering again. Her eyes twinkle.

“Of course.”

She offers him the tube of dye, looks up at him with a smile.

“Can you get right here?” She points to a spot right above her temple, one she could definitely reach herself if she wanted to.

Mulder admires her. His woman, back in his old t-shirt and all. He plants his lips on her temple, breathing her in. No matter what she says about aging or being old, he’ll never believe her. She is as she was back then: the only semblance of peace he’s ever known.

He pulls away to meet her gaze, his voice warm and smooth. “Is that about where you want it?”

Scully grins. “Yes, that’s perfect.”

#this might be the only revival fic i ever write & i really enjoyed it #a chance to reflect and take a trip down memory lane <3 #the x-files #txf #txf fic #mine #todayinfic

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britishassistant · 4 years ago

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The Villainous Paranoiac Goes To Jail and Ninja Afterlife

Two innocent children get sent to Night Raven College

A set of scenarios about three of my ocs unwittingly trading places for two days, non-canon to any of my AUs

Swap 1:

Yuu—> Konohagakure

Yuu wakes up with a tantō to the throat.

Chie: Tell me where my daughter is and I’ll make your death quick

Yuu promptly freaks the fuck out

Through a combination of panicked yelling and tears the Prefect manages to convey to the Ketsugi that if there was a kidnapping, Yuu is both uninvolved and as much as of a victim as their precious daughter

Gai confirms that the strange teenager not only has no chakra, but clearly has little to no combat training despite his(?) athleticism, meaning Mayu-chan could easily overpower an assailant of this size, especially one this undernourished!

Yuu tries not to be offended and to avoid staring at Gai and Lee’s eyebrows they’re so big

Promptly shrieks when Kami!Sanji materializes to confirm that the Paranoiac had nothing to do with Mayu’s disappearance as far as the other gods can tell

Yuu becomes convinced that this place is the afterlife

The sad part is that Chie and Jirou can’t actually say much to the contrary, because??? Their daughter remembers dying before she came here?? Also there are active deities just floating around so.

Actually tears up at the homemade meals the Ketsugi provide

Before being sick as a dog later because food infused with chakra? Does not agree with a person without a chakra regulatory system

Surprisingly patient with Lee and any questions he has the purity of Jack and Deuce is strong in this one

Bit more long-suffering towards Naruto and his rendition of Wonderwall. Sunshine child too bright, introvert Yuu can’t handle it

Keeps writing down everything everyone says

This makes ANBU and ROOT very twitchy

The Paranoiac is quietly slated for “interview” at T&I the next day

Yuu crashes on the Ketsugi couch none the wiser

Mayu—> Nanba

Mayu wakes up to confused screaming and profanity.

It’s Hani.

It’s very rare for screaming not to be because of Hani

All he knows is one child was in this bed last night, and now’s there’s a different one dressed like it came straight out of Ninja Kamikaze???

Mayu for her part is both very alarmed to be waking up in a prison cell with two strange men and very glad she has her bokken with her

Kiji comes in to find his beautiful inmates being menaced by a twelve year old with a wooden sword

The twelve year old is winning

Once Mayu has ascertained that they aren’t enemy ninja and she’s somehow in her old world (?) she becomes much more cooperative with the guards

She’s very worried about how she’s going to get back to her family in Konoha

Also wondering if she should try to contact her former little brother Harp (who knows if she’ll ever get the chance again?)

These worries are not assuaged when the Warden informs her that there’s no records proving “Tamara Kaur” ever existed

For lack of any relations who they can contact to take the child off their hands, and because they have no idea how she successfully infiltrated the most secure prison in the world and replaced one of the inmates, the Warden decides to keep Mayu in Nanba’s holding cells until further notice

Guess who finds the samurai child while breaking out?

Nico, Uno, and Rock are amazed at the existence of a real live Japanese Samurai! With a katana and everything!!

Jyugo just asks straight out if Mayu’s an actor too

Mayu is very bemused by everything, but they seem friendly! The one with the mohawk likes food too!

Plus the blonde one is British! Just like she used to be!

Uno is very confused about how a twelve year old somehow lost her citizenship

Break Mayu out to get food together

They get caught the moment they set foot in the cafeteria and scolded very harshly

Mayu has trouble sleeping in a cell cot that night

Nana—> Night Raven College

Nana’s first instinct on waking up in a strange bed next to a monster is to assume he’s been kidnapped and attempt to subdue his captors

Which means Grim wakes up to an attempted smothering

The ghosts hear muffled screaming and rush in only to get salt and iron filings to the face. Nana actually has them all on the run when Crowley bursts in

Instantly becomes a confused and lost child in front of the headmaster and dorm heads

Only Grim and the ghosts know the truth, and their complaints are overlooked due to them “scaring the poor boy”

No one has any idea what to do with a thirteen year old magicless kid. It was hard enough with Yuu, and the Prefect was at least sixteen and could attend classes!

Nana adapts quickly to the idea of being in this new world— he’s just sad he couldn’t say goodbye to Kiji, Hani-senpai and Trois-senpai before leaving Nanba

Immediately resolves to leave NRC at the earliest possible convenience when he gets a good look at the Theory Wall— he can’t even read Japanese but that amount of crazy that it signifies always spells trouble

Is confused by all the pictures of Disney villains on the Theory Wall, but decides it’s not worth the trouble to ask about

Actually uses the beauty products Vil left for Yuu correctly

Gets semi-adopted into Pomefiore after asking Vil where the high quality products came from

Grim and the ghosts aren’t sorry to see the little brat go

Vil carts him around to test his potential in the performance arts

Epel tries to be a good senpai for the kid, and tells him he doesn’t have to just go along with Vil

Nana appreciates the effort, but does find this kind of thing more fun than being on his own he’s homesick for his cell

Rook enjoys seeing the child freeze up minutely whenever he asks about the prison attire and the large “7” tattoo on the back of the boy’s head

Nana likes Rook less and less with every pointed question the vice dorm leader makes

Can’t sleep in the big cushy Pomefiore bed and so curls up on the floor with a pillow instead

Swap 2:

Yuu—> Nanba

What why is Yuu in jail now

The prefect was supposed to be back home/in Ramshackle Dorm, why is Yuu in jail now—

Yuu is stressed and overdue for Grim snuggles

Paranoiac is also not thrilled about being stuck in Building Three— it’s like Pomefiore on steroids

At least Epel and Vil don’t steal and obsess over the underwear of their “fans”

Rook...the jury’s still out. But probably not. Probably

Maybe

Hopefully

Much less cooperative than Mayu.

Questions about the Prefect’s family name are met with a stony glare. “It’s Yuu. Just Yuu. How many times do I have to repeat myself?”

Can’t answer any questions about Mayu or her current whereabouts despite admitting to knowing of the girl, but does posit a theory about the three of them transmigrating and swapping places based on the information gained in Konoha

Gets offended and even less cooperative when the interrogating guard calls the hypothesis “crazy”

Not intimidated by Hajime or the other guards in the slightest. Yuu’s classmates are far more likely to inflict lasting bodily harm and it’s hard for even the worst human glare to measure up to Floyd or Leona on a bad day

The Warden scares the Prefect though

Doesn’t stop Yuu from requesting a lawyer or other legal counsel before submitting to further questioning

The Paranoiac is a Japanese citizen and has made a point to know what the applicable legal rights for this situation are

Yuu ends up in the holding cells

Guess who hasn’t learned their lesson while breaking out?

Uno takes one look at Yuu

“Ah Jyugo, this one has your energy”

Nico loudly asks if the Prefect is from an isekai and died and reincarnated in Nanba??! Do they die over and over again and revive to beat bad guys?? Do they have an amazing cheat skill?? Are they a spider?? Can they shoot a beam??

Yuu just thinks. Ah. So this is what would happen if Kalim and Idia somehow had a kid

Don’t break the Prefect out, but Jyugo comes back later and deposits something through the bars

“This is Kuu. He’s a guard, but he’s also really good when you’re lonely. You look like you could use the company”

Yuu blinks and holds out a hand for the black cat with a guard cap to sniff

Crashing in a cell cot is uncomfortable, but hey, at least there’s a cat to pet

Mayu—> Night Raven College

Why is there a tanuki in her bed?

Grim isn’t waking up by being murdered but being poked with a stick by another smol child isn’t much better

Mayu is Concerned by the Theory Wall

“Is— is the person who lives here okay?”

Grim: Hell if I know

Mayu’s even more Concerned when she opens the fridge and sees it’s bare

>:|

Sanji wouldn’t let these people go hungry, so she’s not going to either!

Searches until she finds the Prefect’s grocery money and marches with Grim to Mr. S’s Mystery Shop

Everyone is confused by the presence of a new preteen on campus after the last one vanished from Pomefiore during the night

Mayu’s used to haggling with market people who would rather see her starve than even sell her the worst of their produce, so she’s easily able to barter Sam down to a third of the price for the groceries she wants to buy

Sam’s more amused by the guts of this tiny samurai devil than anything

Mayu and Grim drag all the food back by themselves with a few students following from a distance out of curiosity

They all soon enter Ramshackle once the smells of cooking begin to emerge from the dorm

Silver first followed because the child has a sword and is now helping to knead dough

Epel arrived because he had questions about where Nana had gone, but Mayu is genuinely clueless so now he’s peeling apples for lack of anything better to do

Mayu soon has several “helpers” for making bread and other easy-to-preserve and mix-and-match bulk meals to fill the Ramshackle fridge, though she soon has to send Grim out for more ingredients when her helpers begin getting hungry

The night ends with a feast that can rival the quality of food served at Kalim’s parties

Mayu finds one of Yuu’s blank notebooks and writes down some easy recipes the Prefect can use for all the food now in the fridge and pantry, with emphasis on fish based dishes

The ghosts and Grim enjoy having Mayu much more than Nana

Mayu still has trouble sleeping in the big Ramshackle bed that night

Nana—> Konohagakure

Well this isn’t Nanba or Night Raven College

Welp. Time to go then.

Nana is halfway out of Konoha before anyone notices

Gai does notice because a strange kid in a prison jumpsuit swiftly scurrying to the exit sticks out like a sore thumb in the early morning

ANBU’s search for the vanished Yuu is the only reason Nana isn’t stopped by them

Nana tries to run

Nothing can outrun the Beautiful Green Beast of Konoha

Nana is now more than slightly traumatized

Gets carted off to early morning training with Naruto and Lee

Is initially more interested in plotting yet another escape attempt until Lee mentions Yuu and NRC—then he’s curious about what information he can glean about the two other members of this triad

Especially interested in the concept of reincarnating into another world or being brought there by an outside force rather than moving between worlds freely

Eats an almost alarming amount for his size at breakfast that morning and leaves nothing on his plate

Unfailingly well-mannered to his hosts

Offers more information about Mayu’s past world in payment for eating the Ketsugi’s food and waking up in their home after they refuse to let him pay them back using manual labor

Asks them to tell him what they already know so he can work out what knowledge gaps to fill in

Nana: ...Why are you singing Wonderwall?

Takes it upon himself to teach Lee and Naruto more English so they can at least form basic sentences

It’s an uphill battle because predicates and participles are hard

A supportive and encouraging if slightly inept teacher

Soon realizes Chie somehow knows all the swearwords and glares at him for trying to teach them to the boys

Also falls ill from eating chakra-infested food

Gets twitchier as the day goes on and asks to leave the village several times, insisting he can’t impose on their hospitality any longer

Only agrees to sleep on the couch once Jirou subtly implies that at least people will notice and go looking if he goes missing from their house compared to if he disappeared from a tree miles away from Konoha

Can’t sleep on the couch due to jumping at noises during the night, ends up curling up on the floor next to it

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hauntedflamingo · 4 years ago

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Running out of time part 2

Barry Allen x Reader, Alfie Solomons x Reader

A/N: This took way longer than I planned. Hopefully nobody was actually waiting for this. Sorry for any mistakes.

part one

Alfie needed to be at the bakery before the sun was up every day so he had Ollie drive you around. Alfie did not want to make you get out of bed early. Most of time, Ollie would take you to the bakery and back home later in the day or wherever else you needed to go. During the drive, you stare out the window, caught up in the people going about their day. Don’t get me wrong, you loved your life. But sometimes you were bored, spending all your time at the bakery. Compared to your old life, this was relatively slow. On this particular morning, you happen to see a red streak pass by the car multiple times.

“Oh No!” You whisper to yourself, scooting down in the seat in order to hide. That couldn’t be him, could it? You had to go check. You could feel your heartbeat starting to speed up a little at the thought of him turning up. You were definitely scared of Barry destroying something. He usually did when he travelled through time. A wonderful example is flashpoint. “Can you pull over? Please Ollie. I would like to walk the rest of the way to the bakery.”

You hear an audible sigh from the front seat as he pulls over to the side of the street. He turns around to look at you with a worried expression on his face, probably wondering why you were laying down in the back seat. “Mr. Solomons doesn’t like you walking anywhere.” Alfie was always worrying about you. He never wanted you to go anywhere alone. You had a feeling that was the other reason he made Ollie drive you around.

“I know but I would like to clear my head before I get to the bakery.” This was the best excuse you could come up with. Ollie gets out of the car, holding the door open so you can also exit. “Please don’t be late, ma’am. He will be livid, more at me than you.”

“I will try my best.” You start walking down the street, waiting for Ollie to drive off and for the streak to appear again. Once Ollie has driven far enough down the road, you slow down your pace. Settling on completely stopping all together, you stand at a store front to peer inside, using the window as a mirror and as a distraction. Someone was bound to come up to you and be a bother if you looked like you weren’t doing anything.

But you also needed a distraction for yourself. You hadn’t used your super speed since you ended up in England. So, if you became more anxious, your powers were bound to show themselves. You wanted to hurry up this “meeting” so you could get back to Alfie.

Your view is disrupted by the streak speeding past in the reflection. Turning your head, you watch it speed down an alley a few stores down from where you were standing. Looking around, you check to make sure that no one is else is concerned with a red streak running around the city. You follow it down the street and into the alley, stopping a few feet away from him. Barry Allen. The boy you left behind. How do you wake up from this nightmare? Or was it one that was just beginning?

“Y/N. I can’t believe I finally found you!” He looks so happy. “Wow, it’s been quite a while. Four years.”

“I am surprised you found me.” You look away from him, cringing at his overjoyed demeanor before turning to back to face him. The fact that he was standing right in front of you made your stomach start to do flips. He had to show up now! After you already made a life here. One that you would not give up that easily.

“We have been looking for you since you left. The team wanted me to give up hope.” He walks closer to you with his arms out, waiting for you to hug him. Rather than accept his invitation for a hug, you back away from him. Finally, he gets the hint and lowers his arms but not before you catch the glare that flashes on his face.

“I love it here. You know I always wanted to go to London.” Pulling off you gloves; you stuff them in your coat pocket. Your hands were starting to become sweaty. They were also starting to shake.

“We could have taken a trip to London if you wanted to go that bad.” Barry smiles weakly, trying to make light of the situation.

Knowing Barry wouldn’t understand, you grow silent. You had nothing to tell him. He wouldn’t like what you said anyway. How could you explain you had a new life? One without him. He would be devastated. You did not want to break his heart any more than you already did when you left.

“Well, you’re here. Now what?” Barry demands, irritated by your lack of communication. Hopefully nobody passing by could hear him. He tightens his hands into fists and starts pacing, faster and faster, picking up speed. Within seconds, he takes off down the alley, leaving you in a cloud of dust.

Barry would be back any second and his absence wasn’t enough for you to calm down. You needed to get out of there before something happened. Once he returns, you cut him off before he can start talking. “This was nice but I have to go now.” You were going to be late. You were already cutting it close by getting out of the car in the first place.

“You need to change if you are going to be here any longer.” You state, matter-of-factly before turning around to leave him once again. You hoped he wouldn’t stay. He was already starting to ruin everything and he had only been there for a few minutes. You are not more than a few steps from him when you look over your shoulder. “Stop using your powers.”

Before exiting the alley, you look around again. Rumors would be started if somebody you knew saw you in an alley. You shove your hands in your pockets to hide them from anyone walking by. Trying to calm your nerves, you feel for your rings and run your fingers over your them. The walk to the bakery takes about fifteen minutes. Barely enough time for you to get to your office before Alfie comes looking for you to give you an update from his early morning rounds.

As you arrive at the bakery, your hands are finally back to normal. Running into Barry totally messed up your morning routine. Unlocking your office door, you throw your purse onto the couch. Without taking off your coat, you head straight to the filing cabinet, pulling out some paperwork. You walk over to your chair and sit down, spinning around to face the desk. You let out a shriek when you find Barry sitting in a chair on the other side of your desk. All your papers fly around the room. Barry instantaneously hands them back to you. He takes his seat again as you stare at him in surprise. He was literally screaming at you a few minutes ago.

“What are you doing?” You whisper, hoping Alfie did not hear you scream. “You can’t be here.”

“Y/N.” He reaches for your hand but you scoot back in your chair. His voice is softer this time. “Please come back with me.”

“I can’t.” Actually, you didn’t want to go back. Crossing your arms, you lean back in your chair, trying to increase the distance between the two of you. “I have a life here. I don’t have to worry about fighting crime. The only things I have to do here are go to work and then go home and relax.” You smile at him. “It’s nice. I don’t have to be on edge worrying about saving the city every five minutes.”

“If that is the only problem, then you can quit fighting crime and leave it up to me.” He moves his chair closer to the desk. “Why didn’t you tell me you felt this way?” Once again, you let silence fill the air, you were already done with this conversation earlier. Maybe he thought the next words he said were what you wanted to hear. “I miss you.” Barry whispers.

You sigh, picking up a pen and tapping it on the edge of the desk. Doing your best to distract yourself before you start crying. “I can’t just get up and leave. This is not that simple.” Waving your arms around. As if right on cue, your office door swings open. “Love, I need you to- “ Alfie freezes at the door, holding a stack of paper. “Who is this?” He asks, very curious as to why a man would be in your office.

Once again, you think of an excuse. The one for Ollie was easy. He would believe whatever you told him. But for Alfie, you didn’t want to be lying to him in the first place. If he ever figured out what was going on with you. Let’s just say that you didn’t want to be on his bad side. How long would you be able to keep this up? This was not going well. “He is an applicant.” You state, sitting up straighter in your chair, and dragging yourself closer to the desk so Alife wouldn’t think anything was wrong. “You know…the position we put in the paper a few weeks ago. I guess he thought we were taking too long to choose applicants to interview.”

Looking down, you pretend to read his name. “This is Bartholomew Allen.” You look back up at Alfie to make sure he isn’t about to explode since there was an unknown man in your office. To your dismay, Barry speaks up. “I really need this job, Ms.-“

“She is Mrs. Solomons.” Alfie interrupts him, putting emphasis on the word Mrs. He always wanted people to know you were married to him and show you off. Turning your chair, you remain focused on Alfie. The pen you were holding slips out of your hand and to the floor, rolling under your desk. Leaning down to look under the desk, you lay your head on your knees trying to take a quick rest before picking up the pen. You really wanted to hide. Alfie seems to thinking you are taking too long looking for the pen. “Everything alright, Y/N?”

“Yes.” You squeak as you move back your chair to sit up straight. This whole interaction was going to be one hundred times more awkward now that Barry found out you were married. You can’t even look at him, knowing that he would feel betrayed by you for marrying another man.

Alfie turns his attention to Barry. “We were going to start calling for interviews tomorrow. We can give you an interview time today since you are here now.” You turn back to your desk still not making eye contact. You grab the first piece of paper you see to write down the time and his name. “Um...th-the.” You clear your throat. Get it together, Y/N! “The interviews are set for the 16th. What time would you like to come in?” You stare at the paper waiting for him to answer. “Nine thirty would be fine.” As you write down Barry’s information, your hand starts to vibrate. The anxiety from your ex-boyfriend sitting in front of you and your husband still at the door was getting to you.

Alfie knew nothing about your powers and you wanted to keep it that way. Thankfully he was too far away to notice anything was going on with your hand. Barry’s information ends up looking like chicken scratch when you are done.

Finally, you look up at Barry and your heart sinks. The pain in his eyes is too much for you to bear. You stand up to shake his hand while trying to control the shaking in your hand and your tears. “Th-Thank you, Mr. Allen.” Clearing your throat again. “I will see you on the 16th. Do you need me to show you the way out?”

“No. I will find it on my own.” The sound of his voice is like a knife through your heart.

After Barry and Alfie leave your office, you take out a new piece of paper to write his information again. Closing your eyes, you lean back in your chair trying to calm down your body so can get back to normal. It’s not like I could have contacted him all that time and tell him I moved on. He should have moved on too. Four years! Why didn’t he give up already?

This time there is a knock on your door. Opening your eyes, you slowly exhale, hoping it isn’t Barry again. “Yeah?” You answer wearily, looking at the door. It opens and Alfie walks back in. “I didn’t tell you about this morning.” You stand up walking over to him. “I know, we got interrupted.” He gives you a kiss and you walk over to the couch. He follows you, helping you take off your coat and hanging it up. He sits down next to you. While Alfie begins to talk, you try to forget about Barry.

tag: @primaba11erina @marvel-is-a-mood

#barry allen x reader #the flash x reader #alfie solomons x reader #alfie solomons imagine #the flash cw #peaky blinders

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theperksofbeingbarbie · 4 years ago

Text

Angel of Death

Chapter 3: Living on a Prayer

Chapter One: Dead Things

Chapter Two: Death’s Desire

🚨Warnings🚨: Hospice; Terminal Cancer; Death; Assisted Suicide; Grooming - Pastor Looks at Angel in a sexual manner that makes her uncomfortable and leaves his hands on her back, hands, and face too long; Mention of Bullying; Abuse; Forced Tattooing of a Minor; Mentions of Witchcraft; Language.

Word Count: 3,708

A/N: Here is the full thing finally!! I’m so excited to have it finished so I can move on to the next chapter and working on other ideas and series. I hope it was worth the wait for those who have been waiting a while!

Do you know what hospice is, Angel?”

You were more focused on your surroundings than Pastor. The air was stiff in the small bedroom, heavy, like it was going to settle in your lungs and cause you to choke until you couldn’t get a fresh breath. There was barely enough light to see the old man that lay in the bed, or the younger woman who sat on the edge, holding his wrinkly hand as she attempted to hold back tears. The heart monitor behind the woman beeped steadily, another machine on the opposite side of the bed letting out loud sighs as if it were breathing itself through the stifling air.

“Sweetheart.” Your mother’s kind voice brought your attention back to the man squatting in front of you. You weren’t sure why he drove you and your mother an hour away from home, but you assumed you’d find out soon enough.

“Do you know what hospice is?”

You shook your head in lieu of an answer.

“Hospice is when people are too sick and the doctors know they will never get better. They’re about to pass and they try to make the person comfortable and give their family time to say goodbye.”

You glanced over to the man in the bed. He was dying, and the crying woman was saying her goodbyes. But why did Pastor bring you here?

“Mr. Newman is very ill, Angel. His daughter wants him to be able to pass on his own terms, and hopefully go right to Heaven.”

It was starting to come together in your young mind. It had been months since you stole your best friend’s soul and no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t find her. Her parents stayed in Angel’s Paradise despite this, even offering you gifts for another chance to see her. You left them in front of her grave instead.

Everyone was silently afraid that she didn’t go to Heaven, but no one ever mentioned it. They all knew the direction you threw her and that damn necklace and what it was supposed to mean.

It made you sick to think about for too long.

“I want you to try, my angel. Take Mr. Newman’s soul and guide him to your Father in Heaven. You would be releasing him of so much pain. Do you want him to be in pain during his final days?”

Another silent shake of your head.

“He wants to go. His daughter wants him to go. Only you can help him pass over.”

Pastor smiled forlornly, offering his hand to you. He guided you to the bed, helping you up beside the machine that was breathing.

“Focus, my angel.”

You took a deep breath, glancing at the old man’s daughter who looked at you hopefully. You placed your hand on his chest and closed your eyes, feeling something in him start to pull. You yanked back hard, the rest of his soul separating from his body. You were the only one who could see the soul of the man gasp when he was released from his prison, the screeching of the heart monitor threatening to break your concentration.

“Do you still have a hold of him, Angel?”

A nod.

“Great! Now focus! Send him to your Father!”

The old man looked at you with a face of pure elation, looking up hopefully before you threw him upward, the soul disappearing into the ceiling.

The room fell silent and you suddenly felt empty. It was like you were stuck behind a curtain and the real world felt so far away. Mr. Newman’s daughter began to sob and the sound slowly brought you back.

“Thank you! Thank you so much!”

You just nodded, climbing back off the bed to hide in your mother’s side. Pastor took your place, praying with the woman for a moment. Her ‘amen’ was followed by a stack of cash placed in Pastor’s hand.

“Have a blessed day. Come along, Angel. Time to go home.”

------------------------------

This little act lasted a few years. Pastor received applications from all over the country, but only accepted ones from Michigan. As long as the family had a large stack of cash waiting for you, Pastor was happy to cart you all around the state to lead Lambs home. He, of course, said he was only doing it out of the kindness of his heart but the new cars, clothes, jewelry, and hot tub didn’t seem to line up with that idea in your mind; you never complained when you got the things you wanted though. You didn’t realize Pastor had new plans for you and Angel’s Paradise to take place for your birthday.

Your thirteenth birthday was in two weeks and set to be the biggest bash Angel’s Paradise had seen yet. You ran through the living quarters of the church to find your mother to share your excitement, stopping short of your mother’s door when you heard her speaking to someone.

“A tattoo?”

“It will be symbolic of the Angel she is. And maybe later, we add more. But I want to start with the wings.”

Pastor wanted to tattoo wings on you? You instinctively reached across your body to clasp your shoulder, imagining what it would look like. Imagine the pain you’ve heard about.

“One of our new residents is a tattoo artist. He will do a good job, I promise.”

Your mother didn’t respond, but you could imagine the face of uncertainty she was surely presenting.

“You know I would never hurt [Y/N]. The last thing I want is to hurt you or her.”

There was shifting on the bed followed by complete silence. You continued onto your room, wondering if your mom agreed.

------------------------------

Your curiosity was quelled a day later as you were led into a small house you had seen completed just a few weeks earlier. You gave the man a friendly smile, remembering him from his meeting with his son who died overseas. The man and Pastor shared niceties as you followed into what should have been a bedroom, but was made into a makeshift tattoo studio. Drawings and pictures covered the walls like a personalized wallpaper, a desk covered with even more pictures and paintings that looked like the spectre you summoned against the far wall. The man folded up a padded table and shoved it into the corner before pulling out a strange looking chair. You vaguely heard Pastor tell you to take off your shirt and you looked up with a mix of fear and confusion in your eyes.

“I have something you can wear to cover your front,” the man quickly interjected, pulling a thin cloth robe out of a drawer. You hesitantly took it and held onto it for dear life as the men exited the room to give you some notion of privacy. You sat on the chair and let out a huff before calling out to let them know you were ready.

“My angel,” Pastor cooed, moving a chair so he could sit in front of you as the other man finished preparing the ink. “The Lord came to me in a dream. He is so proud of the work you’re doing with His gift. Sending his Lambs back home to Him, allowing people to see their loved ones again. You’re doing so well.” He smiled, reaching forward to take your hands. You tried not to shiver from the cold feeling his touch gave you. “He showed me a ceremony we can have for those Lambs here in Angel’s Paradise. That included two raven wings on your back, and certain flowers on your chest. I don’t want to lie to you, my angel, it’s going to hurt. But think about what the Lord wants for you. Think about your mission.” He squeezed your hands and released them so the tattoo artist could lay the stencils on your skin. “Just pray through it, okay? He will help you through.”

Pastor left you before the needle touched your skin, mumbling something more about praying through the pain. The notion of doing anything to help the pain disappeared from your mind almost instantly. The man tried to talk to you in an attempt to distract you from the pain, but you couldn’t bring yourself to respond. Silent tears just streamed down your face as you mentally begged for relief from the One who wanted you to go through this. Pastor’s voice was all that you could hear, though, telling you to continue praying and that this was what He wanted. You knew he would lament about Jesus being whipped to save us from our sins, and that this was your equivalent. This pain was going to allow you to become a better shepherd for His Lambs.

You didn’t want to imagine the kind of pain you would be in if you said no to this and ran off, anyway.

The man finally stopped dragging the needles over your skin hours later, mumbling apologies as he applied bandages to your back and arms. He gave you privacy once more to get dressed and didn’t seem to mind when you used the time to finally let out a sob instead.

You began your walk home, the cold air threatening to freeze the tears on your cheeks. You didn’t stop to talk to Pastor or your mother when you entered the living quarters, just wanting to be alone as you asked the Lord once more to relieve you of this pain. Your mother came into your room anyway, trying to offer love and support, but was quickly brushed off.

If she truly cared, you wouldn’t have been left alone to endure through the process.

------------------------------

You couldn’t even enjoy your birthday like you had wanted to. It was supposed to be fun, full of laughter and light, but you just felt like a bird in a cage meant to perform tricks for treats. Adults came to you and wished you another happy year, but it was quickly followed by questions of what you were going to do for them. When could they see their loved ones, could they see them for longer periods if they brought you better gifts. The other children just stayed as far away from you as they could possibly be, standing in a circle and whispering amongst each other while looking at you with disgust.

You didn’t know what you expected from them. This was just what they did. The townsfolk had erected a little schoolhouse near the front of the town as teachers moved into Angel’s Paradise. Pastor didn’t make you go, and you couldn’t care less about the reason, you just didn’t want to go. Your peers already avoided you like a leper, not wanting to make the wrong move or say the wrong thing and end up like your friend from all those years ago. You heard their whispers of ‘freak’ and ‘Reaper’, and you happily accepted the idea of needing a different education if it meant you didn’t have to be stuck in class with people who hated you.

You were in the sanctuary of the church, doing your daily piano lessons. Your tutor was a kind woman who was the nation’s best piano player before her sister died and she became overwhelmed with grief. For a brief meeting with her sister, she took the time out to teach you all that she knew in exchange.

“Carol, I’m going to have to cut the lesson short today. You can speak with Holly at another time.”

Your piano tutor looked dejected but nodded as she gave you one last note on your playing before excusing herself. Pastor smiled down at you and took Carol’s place on the piano bench. You continued to look forward at the sheet music, focusing on the notes instead of Pastor’s eyes on you. As the years went on, it felt like they wandered further and further down, but he did that to plenty of women.

“How is your back, my angel?”

You rolled your shoulders and straightened your back. “Healed, I think.”

Pastor ran a hand over your back with a smile. “I’m glad. I think you’re ready for the next tattoo the Lord wants you to get.”

“Another one?”

“Are you questioning your Father? Angel, he has a plan for you. You have to follow it to the letter,” he snapped.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, looking down at your lap.

“That’s okay, my angel. Young ladies always have questions.” Pastor gently pushed your hair back, pushing your head just slightly so you would look at him. His gentle smile was back but it felt so empty. “Here. I drew it for you.”

You took the piece of paper that was handed to you and unfolded it to uncover the design. Your first thought was that it was beautiful. Different flowers arranged in a beautiful bouquet.

Your second thought was how painful it was going to be.

“Where?”

“On your chest.”

Your hand flew up to the collar of your shirt, your nails gently dragging along the exposed skin as you tried to imagine what it would feel like. How many nights would you cry yourself to sleep from the pain?

“Do you know what the flowers mean, my angel?” Pastor asked. He began pointing to each flower as he explained their reasoning, “The sunflower, it’s your devotion to God. The calla lily and roses represent beauty; yours as well as His Lambs. Daisies, for your innocence. The dogwood flowers represent eternal life, which is what you give to those Lambs that ask for your help. This is thistle, and it represents earthly sorrow, which is what their loved ones still feel. And laurel, to represent their memory. Do you like it, Angel?”

You nodded.

“The Lord wants us to create a ceremony for those that want help going to Him. It will allow people to say goodbye to those they love, and finally go home. I think you’re going to like it. I’m so proud of you, my angel. You’re growing into such a beautiful young woman.”

Pastor kissed your temple and hesitated for much longer than you anticipated.

“The tattoo artist will come get you in a few moments, okay? Just pray through the pain.”

------------------------------

Pray through the pain. Pray through the discomfort. Pray through the fear. So many prayers and none of them ever calmed the storm inside of you. You wondered if the woman who was being rolled down the aisle in the sanctuary was scared.

Olive was her name. She was young, much younger than anyone you had visited with Pastor. A bad bout of breast cancer that quickly took over her body that left her with a couple months to live when she should have her whole life ahead of her.

She had been in Angel’s Paradise for about a month, settling into the “visitor’s apartments” as Pastor called it, with her sister. Olive enjoyed listening to you practice the piano and often helped you with your math homework.

Olive was being pushed by her sister in a wheelchair adorned with flowers and ribbons. Residents of Angel’s Paradise fell over themselves to give her flowers or to lay hands on her from the pews, sending up prayers that she will finally be comfortable and at peace. Her sister helped her from the wheelchair to a bed that was set up on the altar, the stained glass version of you staring down at her, a silent promise it would all be over soon. Olive took the flowers she was given and laid them on her chest, smiling as Pastor began a little sermon about death and eternal life in Heaven.

Your piano tutor played a quiet processional as Pastor began a prayer, asking the Lord to guide your hand and bring his sweet Lamb home. You took a deep breath and started yet another prayer yourself, begging for peace before the large wooden doors opened. The residents gasped at the sight of you. Dressed in a flowing white gown, you looked like a true angel. The neckline covered the flowers on your chest and came up to a thick collar around your neck, leaving the back bare to show the wings you earned.

You focused on Olive’s kind face, forgetting about all the other eyes glued to you. She looked so happy, so ready to be put out of her suffering. She was silently encouraging you to do what you were put on this earth to do, to realize the Lord’s gift he blessed you with.

You suddenly didn’t feel as scared as you were, that peace you craved finally washing over you.

You stood on the opposite side of the bed so the residents could see you as well as Olive. Pastor asked for her last words and you could tell what she said was beautiful, but it didn’t feel like you heard it. That feeling of being stuck behind a curtain, a veil, began to cover you while you prepared yourself.

“I’m ready,” made it past the veil, Olive smiling up at you with a slight nod. “Take me home, [Y/N].”

The rest was a blur, hidden behind the veil that felt like it was getting heavier with each soul you sent home. Pastor took your hand and walked you out of the sanctuary, pushing you toward your room to change for the funeral.

------------------------------

You never liked funerals, but who did? Some were more fun than others, more a celebration of the person’s life and not about mourning their death. You hoped Olive’s funeral would be more like the former, but it never really mattered. You had a job to fulfill, a job the Lord gave you and you couldn’t let your Father down.

You thanked the Pastor’s wife for her help getting you into the grand black ball gown you were to wear for the actual funeral. It was a classic mourning dress, but it did have a lower neckline to feature the flowers on your chest instead of the feathers on your back.

You ran downstairs to try to find the black lace veil you were supposed to wear to cover your face, hoping you left it on Pastor’s desk from when he gave it to you. You stopped short when you heard your mother’s voice.

“Really, that much?”

“Maybe we can find a reason to go on a trip. How does Hawaii sound?”

Your mother just giggled.

“I’ll get you a little bikini…”

“Oh stop it!”

“Fine, something skimpy just for me…”

You knocked on the door and slowly pushed it open, noticing your mom smoothing out her skirt as she moved away from the desk.

“I think I left my veil,” you said cautiously.

“Oh, yes, my angel.” Pastor smiled and walked over to you, carefully pinning the veil into your hair with the utmost care. “Look at you…” Pastor lifted your chin so you would look at him, brushing his fingers against your jaw before finally letting go. “Come, my angel. It’s time to put Sister Olive’s body to rest. You did so good, my angel. The Lord is so proud of you.”

------------------------------

It had been over a week since the Hargreeves brothers had seen [Y/N] last. Klaus went by the jewelry store a few times and that bitch Lisa just angrily told him she hadn’t seen her either and then kicked him out. He went by the thrift shop, the bar, the corner store,and she was nowhere to be found. Klaus had, of course, gone by her apartment at least once a day, knocking on the door until his knuckles started to bruise.

“I’m gonna try to get through the door.”

“C’mon, Ben,” Klaus groaned, sitting against her door with a cigarette between his lips. “We both know I’m not sober enough for any ghost tricks.”

“You might not be, but I can feel her,” Ben informed Klaus, jumping up and down like he was going to run a marathon. “[Y/N] just has this… Pull. I think I can do it.”

Klaus just waved his hand. “Go for it. If you get stuck, it’s not my fault.”

Ben nodded and ran toward the door in a full sprint, his body hitting the door full force. Who knew a ghost could be in physical pain? He laid on the ground beside Klaus groaning while his brother laughed.

“Shut the fuck up!”

“I am allowed to laugh. You laugh when I fall down drunk.”

Another groan from the ghost. “Fuck you, asshole.” He sat up with a huff, staring at the door. Maybe her energy allowed him to be solid, like when she touched him? Either way, he wasn’t getting in the way he planned. “Any ideas?”

“Why am I always the idea guy?”

“Because you’re dumb enough to come up with something I can work with.”

“Maybe I can call Diego to pick the lock.”

“Can’t you pick locks?”

“Hm?”

“We all learned how to pick locks, dumbass!”

“Then why couldn’t you have suggested that sooner, Ben?!”

“I don’t know, Klaus, it’s only been over a decade since I’ve done it!”

“Will you two shut the fuck up if I let you in?!”

Klaus and Ben looked up to see [Y/N] in the doorway, looking angrier than they had ever seen her.

She didn’t wait for an answer, pushing herself off the door frame to allow the brothers inside. The apartment looked so much different than the other times they had come by. Where the records and plants were, cork boards with people’s pictures took their place. Scattered on the tables and ground were open books with bookmarks sticking out and writings in the margins. Klaus recognized some of the symbols from that one time he dated the head witch of a coven he joined for the orgies. There was a pentagram painted in the middle of the floor, surrounded by white and black candles where [Y/N] had clearly been working just moments before.

“What in the Scooby Doo is all this shit?”

[Y/N] sighed as she looked around what used to be her living room. “So I might be in some trouble.”

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biotic-boshtet · 3 years ago

Text

Aftermath - Chapter 6

Read on AO3

Start from the beginning

Years

Norah Jean comes to slowly at first, then lurching up as she registers the sound of several different alarms reverberating through the room. Instinctively she reaches up to turn off her hearing aids. The hearing aids aren’t there.

“Shepard, do you hear me? Get out of that bed now- this facility is under attack.”

She squints in the bright lighting, bare feet touching the floor just as a tremor rips through wherever she is. She wobbles, bracing herself on the bed until she can steady herself, accidentally pinning a lock of loose hair down with her hand, tugging uncomfortably. Why is her hair loose? It’s never loose, not even to sleep.

“Shepard. Your scars aren’t healed yet, but I need you to get moving. This facility is under attack.”

The voice over the intercom sounds familiar, but Norah Jean can’t place it. The room she’s in a freezing cold.

“There’s a pistol and your armor in the locker on the other side of the room, hurry!”

The sound of gunfire grows, and Norah Jean looks up to see a heavy mech tearing through a target she can’t see. Another rumble tears through the structure. Her whole body aches.

“Grab the pistol and armor from the locker. You don’t have time to wait around, Shepard! Grab your weapon and armor!”

“I’m getting there, I’m getting there, sheesh.”

“Shepard, we don’t have time for you to be difficult, get that armor on, now!”

Armor on. Four minutes. She’s gotten slow. When was the last time she put her armor on? Used to be sixty seconds. Doesn’t feel right either. Rubs wrong. Norah Jean absently rubs her right pauldron and freezes. There should be a gouge there. Her favorite gouge. She never got it replaced because she liked the way it looked, how it broke the clean lines of the iconic N7 stipe. Because only fools had perfectly maintained, scratch-free, dent-free armor all the time. The padding isn’t broken in yet, the ceramic plates are too shiny, and the joints are too stiff.

“This pistol doesn’t even have a clip.”

“It’s a medbay. You’ll have to find one yourself. Someone’s hacking security and trying to kill you.”

She falters for just a second when she spots the familiar black and gold insignias in the corridor, stooping to grab the clip from the floor. She’s not sure where she’s seen it before. It’s hard to fight the unease churning in her gut. She pushes it away as the beginning of a migraine blooms in the base of her skull. Keeps walking in armor that isn’t hers.

Taking out the mechs is easy enough, with clean shots to the head. Efficient. Quick. Automatic. Thankfully she hasn’t forgotten how to do that. The collar padding rubs uncomfortably on her neck. Norah Jean rips half a dozen strands of hair from a shoulder joint for the zillionth time.

After dozen more twists and turns and a lot more mechs shot down, Norah Jean finally runs into another person. And, by the looks of it, one she can actually help.

“Shepard? What the hell?”

She dashes into cover, crouching beside him. He’s a biotic, she knows instantly and cringes internally at the way his field rubs against her own, like a pair of balloons. “Looks like you could use a hand?”

“What are you doing here? I thought you were still a work in progress.”

“I just woke up. You probably know more than I do.” She snaps back at him.

“Right. Sorry about that. I’m Jacob Taylor, I’ve been stationed here for- Damn it!”

Another wave of mechs shows up. Both Norah Jean and Jacob make their moves. Clean shots to the head.

“Things must be worse than I thought if Miranda’s got you running around. I’ll fill you in, but we better get you to the shuttle first.”

She takes a deep breath, shoving her curiosity down. “Give me the abridged version, then.” She pops out of cover long enough to send a shockwave clear to the other side, scattering the mechs, blue glow subsiding as she ducks back down. The mechs that didn’t get blown clear off the platform get back up.

“Heh, pretty good for someone who just woke up.” Jacop pulls one of the remaining mechs into the air, dispatching it with a few shots. “Anyway, two years ago, the SR1 went down over Alchera after an attack by an unknown ship. Most of the crew survived, but you died. We put you back together.”

Norah Jean does the same with the very last mech within a few seconds. Biotics are the only thing that feel right. Everything else is different. Wrong. She died. But her biotics are a familiar buzz, humming underneath her skin like a live wire. Two years.

She follows Jacob through the next few rooms until they come across a man bleeding on the floor, and Norah Jean is struck with the same eerie familiarity she felt with the voice over the intercom, Miranda.

“Bastards got me in the leg.”

“I think…” She closes her eyes against the already dim light in the room. “I think I remember you, Wilson, right?”

“Yeah. That was me. How about we talk about this after we fix my leg?”

Her eyes flick up towards the hopefully stocked first aid station on the wall. She gets there and back before Wilson can complain too much. The applicator is different than she remembers, fumbles with it for a second before applying it correctly. She gives him a hand up.

“Thanks, Shepard. Never thought you’d save my life. Guess that makes us even now. I thought maybe I could shut down the security mechs, but whoever did this fried the whole system, completely irreversible.”

“We didn’t ask what you were doing. Why do you even have security mech clearance? You were in the bio wing.” Jacob crosses his arms and eyes Wilson.

“Weren’t you listening? I came here to try and stop this! Besides I was shot, how do you explain that?”

Norah Jean pinches the bridge of her nose. “You’re all fucking strangers to me, lets get someplace with a lower ratio of angry mechs, and then we can sort out whose fault this is.”

“Right. We need to find Miranda. We can’t leave her behind.”

“Forget about Miranda! She was over in D wing, the mechs were all over that sector. No way she survived.”

“A bunch of mechs won’t drop Miranda, she’s alive.”

“Then where is she? Why haven’t we heard from her? There’s only two possible explanations, she’s either dead, or she’s a traitor!”

“It doesn’t matter right now. Right now, we need to go! If Miranda’s as good as you say, she’ll probably be waiting for us at the shuttle bay.”

“You’re probably right, Shepard. Wilson, drop it, let’s go.”

The door on the other side of the room whooshes open and a squad of mechs marches through, guns drawn. Norah Jean swears under her breath.

“Wilson! I need you to overload the safety mechanisms on that container. It’ll take out the mechs and clear a path to the door.”

“You better be right.”

The crates explode easily, taking out all five mechs. Jacob stands up and turns to her.

“Okay, we took ‘em down, but this is getting a little tense. Shepard, if I tell you who we work for, will you trust me?”

“This really isn’t the time, Jacob.”

“We won’t make it if she’s expecting a shot in the back.”

“If you wanna piss off the boss, its your ass, Jacob.”

“The Lazarus Project, the program that rebuilt you, its funded and controlled by Cerberus.”

Cerberus. It finally clicks. The humanity first terrorist group. Black and gold. Fucked up experiments to “give humanity an edge”. Akuze. For a second all she smells is blood and acid, all she hears is the wind howling over empty sand. She blinks. Back to reality. Cerberus. Two years.

“I spent a good bit of time wiping out Cerberus labs. Why the change of heart?” Her corona flares and dies with her steady breaths, but her biotics remain under her control.

“Knew we shoulda replaced than damn implant.” Wilson mutters, eyeing her with nervously.

“Those answers are way above my paygrade, but the gist of it? Things change. The Alliance declared you dead. They gave up. Cerberus spent a fortune bringing you back. Look, I’d be suspicious too, but right now we have to work together. I thought you deserved to know what’s what. Once we’re off the station, I’ll take you to the Illusive Man. He’ll explain everything, I promise. But we have to get to the shuttles first.”

“Fine. Lead the way.”

Wilson stepped forward, punching in his security code on the door panel. “Come on, through here, we’re almost to the-“

The door opens, revealing a woman in a black and white catsuit. Her pistol is aimed squarely at Wilson’s chest.

“Miranda? But you were-“

Miranda pulls the trigger. “Dead?”

“What the hell are you doing?”

“My job, Wilson betrayed us all.”

“Even if you’re sure, did he deserve that welcome?” Norah Jea’s corona flashes briefly before she smothers it down again.

“He sabotaged the security systems, killed my staff and would have killed us.”

“Are you sure about that Miranda? We’ve known Wilson for years, what if you’re wrong?”

“I’m never wrong, I thought you’d have learned that by now, Jacob.”

Shepard twitches her hand away from her gun. “Okay. What’s out next step.”

“We get on the shuttle and we go.”

“What about the rest of the people on this station?”

“This is the evac point, if they’re not here now, they’re not coming.”

“We can’t leave without knowing for sure, we have to go back and look.”

“Don’t you get it? The only one worth saving is you. Everyone else is expendable.”

“She’s right, we all knew the risks when we signed up. Without you, there’s no point to any of this.”

Expendable. The thought turns her stomach. She sighs. “Let’s go. I’ve had enough of this station to last a lifetime.” She died two years ago, and the people who brought her back were expendable. She needs a drink.

“Or two in your case.”

Norah Jean turns to Miranda. “I need at least a dozen hair pins or something. I’m not going anywhere until I can get this damn hair situated.”

Miranda sighs and digs into a belt pocket, pulling out its contents and examining them. “The best I can do is seven pins and a hair tie.”

“I can work with that.” She takes the pins and hair tie and braids her hair, out of practice hands moving slowly to make sure the braid is neat and tight. Tying off the end, she works it into a flat coil at the base of her neck, using the pins as frugally as she can. “There. As long as I keep the helmet on, it should hold up.” Her head is pounding, and the pins certainly aren’t doing her any favors, but the hair is dealt with for now. Maybe she should just cut it all off. Its been two years since she’s braided it.

She checks over the pistol and shotgun assigned to her before putting on her helmet and following Miranda and Jacob to the shuttle bay.

“What? Veetor is injured. He needs treatment, not an interrogation!”

“We won’t hurt him, we just need to see if he knows anything else. He’ll be returned unharmed.”

“Your people tried to betray us once already, if we give him to you, we may never get the intel we need.”

“Prazza was an idiot and he and his men paid for it. You’re welcome to take Veetor’s omnitool data, but please, just let me take him.”

“Tali, you don’t have to just take Veetor and go, we could work together, just like old times.” Norah Jean knows Tali’s answer, even before she asks, but she’s so desperate for something familiar, she’ll try anything.

“I want to, Shepard, but I can’t. I’ve got a mission of my own. It’s too important for me to abandon, even for you. When its over, if I’m still alive, we’ll see what happens.”

“Sounds dangerous, what are you up to?”

“I don’t think Cerberus needs to hear about it, but it’s in Geth space, that should tell you how important it is.”

Norah Jean nods, then turns back to Jacob and Miranda. “Veetor is traumatized, and he needs medical care. Specialized medical care. Tali will give us the omnitool data and take him back to the flotilla.”

“Understood, Commander.” She tries to ignore the icy note in Miranda’s voice.

“Thank you, Shepard, I’m glad you’re still the one giving the orders. Good luck out there, if I find anything out there that can help you, I’ll let you know.

Norah Jean stands in the semi dark as the QEC powers down, rubbing her temples. Two years. Gone. She died. The door opens behind her.

“Hey, Norah Jean, just like old times, huh?”

She can’t turn around fast enough, stumbling over her own feet to come face-to-face with her best friend. He’s wearing black and gold.

“Jeff!” Her voice cracks, and she knows her face is doing something ugly as she tries not to cry. He throws an arm around her shoulders, rubbing her back, and it’s all she can do to keep her composure as she hugs him.

“It’s okay, I won’t tell a soul that Commander Shepard is an ugly crier.”

“I thought I was all alone.” She pulls back enough to wipe her eyes. “I can’t trust anybody here. They’re all Cerberus.”

“Well, you’re not alone anymore. You’ve got me.”

“I can’t believe it’s really you.” She wipes her eyes again, sniffling as they leave the QEC room.

“Look who’s talking, I watched you get spaced!”

“I got lucky, there’s a lot of strings attached. How’d you end up here?”

“It all fell apart without you, Norah Jean, everything you stirred up? The council wanted it gone. They broke up the team, sealed records, and I was grounded. The Alliance took away the one thing that mattered most to me. Hell yeah, I joined Cerberus.”

“You really trust the Illusive Man?”

“I don’t trust anyone who makes more than I do, except you. But they aren’t all bad. Saved your life. Let me fly-“ He pauses, looking out the windows into the dark hangar. “And there’s this. They only told me last night.”

Norah Jean watches as the lights slowly illuminate the massive ship docked there. The Normandy. Only she’s twice her original size. Black and gold. The wrong insignia. Two years. The SR2.

“Its good to be home, huh, Norah Jean?”

“Yeah. I guess we’ll have to give her a name.”

The captain’s quarters were disgustingly huge. The empty space echoed and the fish tank was too loud. The lights didn’t turn all the way off. The personal bathroom was nice. Even if she didn’t recognize the ghost in the mirror. Two years.

The clothes in the closet fit her well. They aren’t hers. They’re all stiff and new. No familiar comfort of an undershirt too worn to wear under her uniform. Its all utilitarian, even the civilian clothes look like part of a matched set. The wrong colors. Black and gold stare her down everywhere she looks.

The desk is big. A model of the SR2 catches her eye. Then she sees the photo. She died two years ago, but the photo on her desk was taken mere weeks before it happened. She and Kaidan sit on the bench on the back porch of her parents’ house in Anchorage, doused in golden sunlight. Neither of them are looking at the camera. They’re so focused on each other that the rest of the world might as well not exist. Two years is a long time to be gone. That photo had only existed in two places, her own omnitool and Kaidan’s. The Norah Jean in that photo died. Maybe she doesn’t exist anymore. The frame goes dark when she turns her head away.

Dr. Chakwas would be lying to herself if she tried to say she hadn’t been waiting for the Commander to drop by. If very nearly felt like old times, the Commander’s boundless curiosity leading them through several rounds of questions. What she’s been up to the last two years, why she was here now, this and that. Then Shepard gets a look of sheepishness that would fit better on a new recruit than Commander Shepard, scuffing her boot on the deck and glancing around the medbay.

“Have you got another question, Commander?”

“You’ve got a pair of clippers in here somewhere, right, Doc?”

“Yes, they should be in a case on the shelf in the back.”

“I’m gonna borrow them, thanks.”

“Of course, Commander.”

The buzz of the clippers is almost as comforting as her biotics. Their weight in her hand feels good as she flips the switch on and off a few times. Turns them back on.

Her hair falls away as easily as those two years. Brown curls just barely brush her shoulders. She can’t place the feeling she gets as she looks in the mirror, recognizing a little more of the person who stares back. The lights are still too bright, but her head hurts just a smidge less.

When the Commander returns the clippers, gone is the three feet of rich brown curls, replaced by a bouncy bob, pinned back and away from her face. She carries herself differently, like a weight has been lifted from her shoulders. She seems surer of herself than she’d been a few hours ago.

Chakwas stops her before she gets out of the medbay door. “You know I was half worried you’d come back with a buzz-cut. Your new hair suits you.”

“Yeah? I figured it was time for a change. Thanks again, Doc.”

“Any time, dear.”

#aftermath #norah jean shepard #jeff joker moreau #jacob taylor #miranda lawson #karin chakwas #mass effect fic #mass effect 2 fic #goodbye shitload of dialogue i hated writitng u #this just in #writing sucks and is hard #mandi writes #we broke 10k words boys

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago

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Survey #342

“in this farewell, there’s no blood, there’s no alibi / ‘cuz i’ve drawn regret from the truth of a thousand lies”

What’s your all-time favourite cartoon? Does anime count? In which case I'd say Fullmetal Alchemist, or the original Pokemon. If we're not including anime, then uhhhh Avatar: The Last Airbender, even though I have much more to go in the series. Have you ever taken dance lessons? What kind? Yeah, I've done a few for many years: jazz, clogging, modern, and hip hop. When did you last run and why? I literally couldn't tell you. I don't even know if I can run with the current state of my legs. My knees would probably crumple. Does your house/flat/whatever the hell you live in need cleaning? Not necessarily cleaning, but sorting. I still have boxes outside and inside my room of my stuff I need to put up somewhere... but whenever I prepare to do it, I just get so overwhelmed and shy away from it. Then there's the spare room, that's a total mess loaded with boxes and the like. Mom and I have just avoided it like the plague. Was your last relationship with a man or a woman? Woman. What do you think your next achievement will be? HOPEFULLY getting a job... Do you like mushrooms? NOOOOOOO. What dream do you remember most vividly? I'm not talking about it. Favorite kind of bread? Pumpernickel. Rabbits or hamsters? Rabbits. I've never met a nice hamster, and I just think rabbits are cuter. A movie you’ve never seen that it seems like every one else has? Harry Potter films. Favorite dog breed? I'm biased towards beagles. When was the last time you climbed a tree? Never, actually. Where I live, there aren't really many weighty trees with low branches. Just pine trees. Most common lie you tell? That I'm "fine" when I'm not. Ever seen your parents make out? Jc no, I'll take a hard pass there. Do you put your hair up a lot or down? It's too short to put up. Most of the time do you straighten or curl your hair? Neither. What piercing do you hate? I'm not a fan of cheek dermals at all, but you do you 100%. Were you raised in a religious house? Yes; I was raised Roman Catholic. Do your parents get mad when you're on the computer for hours? Mom used to for many years until I became an adult and she just realized it was in vain. I haven't lived with Dad since I was a teenager, but when my parents were together, he usually didn't say anything. Have you ever been asked for a nude picture? No, thankfully. I'd stop talking to the person immediately. What would you do if your parent hit you? I honestly feel like I'd slap them back and get the fuck out. Or just freeze in shock and cry. What's your most common mood? Stressed but distracted. Do you like poems? Yeah, usually. Ever kissed someone half-naked? Uh yeah. Have you ever been in a parade? No. Do you still play Pokémon? I play Pokemon GO, and I've actually been tempted to get out my DS and play one of the games I have (I can't remember which). I do find Pokemon games to be VERY grind-ey, though, so I can't play them for too long without getting bored. What is your favorite Pokémon? Ninetales. I also really love Espeon, though, and Charmander will always have my heart. Is there an animal you like that most people don't? Bats! :') Is there an animal that you think is overrated in terms of how it's liked? No animal is overrated. Have you ever "quit" a site and came back to it more than once? Uhhhh I don't think so. Do you have an "odd" fascination with anything? Most would probably consider "vulture culture" to be pretty weird, being drawn to dead animals and all... What's the hardest thing you've been through, & what did you learn from it? The breakup with Jason. I learned that some people make promises they aren't afraid to break, that someone can promise "forever" and not mean it, that the most unexpected can just snap their fingers and forget about you... I learned a lot. And most things, not positive. What are three "unrealistic" things you want most? 1.) To be able to financially support myself by just freelance nature photography; 2.) sooo many different kinds of pets; and 3.) to be totally rid of my mental illnesses. Do you take any daily vitamins? No, but I would if I was the one who bought groceries and stuff. I do however take Vitamin D once a week for my legs. Who are three of your favorite fictional characters of all time? JUST THREE??????? FUCK MAN idk. Uhhh well there's of course Darkiplier and Wilford Warfstache, then uhhh probably Pyramid Head. If you had to give the world a pre-existing mythological/fictional being, what would it be? Idk, I'd really need to be more educated on their lore before I made that decision. Do you have any desire to learn (a) foreign language(s)? Which? I both do and don't want to resume learning German. I got very good at it and could have basic conversations, but lack of application has slaughtered my vocabulary. Now it's like, it'd be nice to try again, but for what purpose? I don't think I'll ever actually apply it to my life, so it just seems like it'd be a load of wasted effort. But then on the other hand, I also feel that doing something you simply want to do isn't a waste of time. Idk. What is one of your firmest beliefs? Equality for all. No race, religion, whatthefuckever makes you more or less valuable than someone else. Do you have anything that keeps you from doing something you'd truly enjoy? Oh yes. Depression and anxiety, mostly. Do you work to fix your faults? Or at least, admit to them? I definitely try, and I'll certainly admit to them. How do you hope the world will change, if at all? I just want more compassion, less violence, more understanding... What is/are your view(s) on god, religion, spirituality, or relations to? In short, I believe that something sentient created the universe, and it/they/he/she/what-have-you just... let life play out from there, I think. I like to believe there's a plane of consciousness like an afterlife that exists, but if not, I don't really care. I hope the evil get what was coming to them, and the good get back what they gave, but maybe we're all better off without life after death. We'll all find out one day. Are you arachnophobic or scared of spiders in the least? Some, yes; others, not so much. This is very situational. Do you play WoW? What do you think of it either way? Haha, you're asking an avid player. I enjoy it, but not as much as I used to. At one point I was a Heroic raider, sometimes dabbling in Mythic, but now I'm just mostly a casual mount collector that likes chatting with my guildies and just doing dailies 'n shit. I owe a lot to the game, honestly; it helped me stay occupied throughout the breakup, and still today gives me something to do. What kind of computer do you have? Windows 7/Vista/XP/Other? I have an Acer Nitro with Windows 10. Are you taking any interesting classes in school/do you not attend? I'm no longer in school. If you don't attend, are you taking any "lessons" for anything? No, but I would like to join a photography course somewhere. A book/piece that has had an exceptional impact on your life? Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo just made me hate war more than I innately did. What genres of music are your favorite? Just metal as an umbrella term. Some heavy stuff, some less, some in the middle, some leaning towards other genres... but I just like metal. Do you think that fate plays a part in people's lives? No. Wouldn't "fate" just make it all... worthless? Like we're just storybook characters with a predetermined ending? What are your opinions on the media? One word: manipulative. What's a piece of technology you'd like to own? I REALLY want a PS4, especially lately. There's just a lot of games I REALLY want to play. Are you afraid of technology developing to where we're too reliant on it? We're already *too* reliant on it, which I do believe is a bad thing. I know, absolutely hysterical for me to be talking. What's your favorite odd ice cream flavor? I don't think I've ever had a truly odd ice cream flavor. There's this local place though that makes a kind that tastes JUST like s'mores, and I can fucking murder a cup of that. What's your opinion on stereotypes/labels? They're limiting and devalue uniqueness, imo. I know very, very few people who totally fit a certain stereotype, so why even bother. Like I don't care if you use them as adjectives to some extent, just don't put too much weight on them. Just be you. Do you believe that history repeats itself? It's not necessarily doomed to, but it happens sometimes, obviously. Would you rather learn from your mistakes or just undo them? Depends on the mistake. What was the most interesting class you had in school? Probably Mythology in high school. Do you write? If so, what? Yeah, meerkat role-play. And every now and again, poetry. Do you have a favorite culture? No; I'm not educated on nearly enough to pick one. Do you believe in global warming? Have you researched it? Lol no shit I do. I don't exactly think it takes much research to see with your own two eyes that it's factual. Do you prefer piercings or tattoos? Tattoos, if I had to pick. What comedy movie is your favorite? White Chicks. Have you ever meditated? Yes. Doesn't work for me. What comes to mind when you think of a great moment in your life? Realizing it was my choice to liberate myself and my happiness from my ex. He didn't and never should've carried it, because that's my right. What do you like about springtime? Aaaaall the flowers. <3 How have you handled having to stay in? It's not really different from my average day, so... How would your friends describe you? Quiet and overthinks literally everything. Have you ever hallucinated? When I was coming off a certain med in middle school, I saw black moving shadows. What (or who) is the best thing that ever happened to you? The partial hospitalization program I attended for two months following my suicide attempt. It's where I met my psychiatrist, who set my medication straight. Medicine besides though, I learned so many coping techniques and just how to deconstruct my trauma. As well as possible, anyway. What is the worst decision you ever made? Handing over the ability to make happiness for myself to another person. What is your favorite arcade game? Don't have one. Do you feel neglected? No. What school subject(s) are/were your best? English, Arts, Science. Are you allergic to pollen? Yep. What style of wedding dress do you like best? Probably ballgown. Are you over your first love? I probably never will be in complete totality. Do you always answer your phone? No. I only ever do if I recognize the number. Who was the last person you know to have a birthday? Today is actually my sister's birthday. What song is currently stuck in your head? I have Halocene's cover of "What I've Done" on a loop right now. It has me absolutely covered in goosebumps. Do you ever use coloring books? Not really anymore. Do you personally know anyone who is an author? Not to my knowledge, no. What’s your favorite kind of salsa/dip to go with tortilla chips? Just your normal, mildly hot salsa. Do you wash your car by hand or drive through a car wash? Mom's car hasn't been washed in... well, years, given its bumper. Mom worries that in a car wash, it'll be broken off (it is literally held on with a lot of zip ties and duct tape), and we ourselves don't want to wash it, so... Do you have any uncommon kitchen appliances, such as espresso machines, waffle irons, etc? I know we have one or two, but idk what they're called. What did your parents major/minor in in college, if they went? Dad never went to college. Mom changed her major a few times, but her latest was social work, I believe. Has either of their careers influenced what career you chose or want to pursue? Not at all. What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? Hurricanes. Why is your least favorite season your least favorite? Because it's hot as fuck and humid. Have you ever had an animal get into your attic? No. When was the last time you started a “new chapter” of your life? I don't know. Hopefully I'll start one soon when I leave PHP and pursue a job... What room in your home do you spend the least amount of time in? I'm always in my room. Do you do anything to reduce the amount of electricity you use? I feel awful admitting I do quite the opposite... Being in the dark during the day affects my depression, so I'll have my lamp (or both) on even if it's just sort of shaded inside. Are you usually open to trying a new food that you aren’t familiar with? Eh, it depends on the food. I'm not very adventurous with foods though. Do you listen to Panic! At The Disco? I do. Have you ever had a kinky dream about a celebrity? ... It wasn't "kinky," but it was a dream lmao. Has anyone ever told you that they loved you, and you couldn’t say it back? That's how I ended the whole Joel childishness. Which friend do you confide in most? My mom. Do you wear a cross? No. What is your favorite doughnut? That's so hard. :( Krispy Kreme's normal glazed though probably takes the cake. I also love chocolate frosted and just totally plain, though. Do you have a hot tub? If so, where is it located? No. Did you read the Twilight series, or jump on the bandwagon after the movie? Neither. Do you or your parents rake your yard? Dad did growing up. Now nobody does or needs to. Who did you last go to the movies with? Dad, I think? What color was the last vehicle you were in? White. Do you have any family members in the military right now? No. Is there a ceiling fan in the room you’re in? Yeah. Have you ever heard voices? No. If you’re not straight, who was the first person you came out to? Sara. Do you remember the first time your first crush ever said hi to you? No. Do you ever go places with wet hair? Yeah, idc. Who is your favorite little girl? My nieces. What do you want the most in life? To feel like I made a difference, even a tiny one. If you could have anyone’s singing voice, whose would you choose? OBVIOUSLY Amy Lee's. What’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought that turned out to be a waste of money? *shrug* What’s something you’ve bought that turned out to be way more useful than you anticipated? Hm. Have you ever been on a ship? No. Would you ever date a disabled person? (Be honest) Yes. Would you rather adopt or have your own child? IF I wanted kids, which I absolutely do not, I'd rather have my own. I know I'd feel a deeper connection. What would you class as cheating on someone? As soon as you do/say something you don't want your s/o to know about, you're cheating. As far as earrings go, would you rather wear hoops or studs? Studs. Do you recycle? Yes. If someone dislikes you, what is most likely to be the reason? People have thought I don't try hard enough before. Do you put a line through your "7"s? Yes. ^ What about your "Z"s? Yes. What are you most known for? My art "skill," at least irl. How do you feel about shameless self-promoting? Depends on when, where, and how. As someone who's trying to be a freelance photographer, I get that it's sadly necessary, but there are some places it's just uncalled for.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''what i've done'' by linkin park

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jincherie · 5 years ago

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happy zee day! || ‘a yk predicament’

hello everyone it’s currently zee day in AU so !! we’re hoppin on that celebrating shit!!! happy birthday miss zee of @cinnaminsvga !!! i’m sorry your actual fic isn’t up, and that I have yet to complete fox rain 4, but I’m trying!!! I hope this makes up for it a little bit xxxx I love u, and I hope karma lets ur asshole rest this birth year!!!

pairing | nymph!jk x reader x dragon!yg genre | not applicable. this is a fucking mess NBJHFBJHGB warnings| none! words | 3.6k (oops) sidenote --> this is a pile of shit but I hope it makes u smile! ily! also i didnt proofread this im so sorry

“Min Yoongi, I swear to god if you don’t stop growling at the poor boy—"

In response to your reprimand, the scaly little bastard turns around and spits and growls at you, apparently even possessing enough balls in this moment to hack up an ember and pelt it your way. You stand in disbelief for a moment, blinking.

The little bastard did not just—

“U-um, p-please! You d-don’t have to—” You turn your gaze in the direction the sudden voice had come from, the speaker freezing and stuttering as soon as your eyes land on him. The nymph blushes instantly, soft emerald-tinged skin tinting pink across his face to the tips of his ears. Still, he attempts to continue where he left off, although his voice quickly loses strength after a few words, “Y-You don’t have to… to fight….”

The nature spirit shifts in his spot where he is still partially angled behind a tree from when your little bastard of a companion tried to bite his hand off, eyes flicking from the forest floor to your face. “I’m… it is my fault… I shouldn’t have revealed myself in the… in the first place. I am sorry, I did not mean to wet him either. Well, I did, but…”

He gulps, risking a glance at your visibly bristling companion, who looks very menacing despite his current tiny stature. At the sight of the glare he is no doubt receiving, the nymph recoils, and your hand begins to reach on instinct to whomp Yoongi a good one on the back of the head. Before you can manage, the nymph speaks despite looking very much like he’d rather be doing anything but.

“I thought… I thought he was a water dragon…”

There is a moment of silence as his words slip softly into the air, and another as they cross the space between you to brush your ears. The second they register, the sudden, powerful urge to guffaw begins to bubble within you, and you’re powerless to stop the loud, ringing laughter from leaving you. Yoongi, however, doesn’t seem to have taken the nymph’s comment in such light spirits.

“RrrrrrRAAAAH! RRRRAH!!! GGRRRRRRHRHHRHRRRRRAH GGRRRAH!!!”

Yoongi attempts to launch at the poor boy, claws out, from his spot on the ground, and despite your tear-inducing laughter you manage to snatch him mid-air with your arms around his middle with nothing short of practiced ease. You don’t need to be fluent in dragon to know that Yoongi just cussed this boy the hell out. Thankfully, it doesn’t seem that the nymph is fluent in dragon either, and he continues unaware of the names he has been called.

“I’m sorry!” He cries, dark chestnut curls flopping across his forehead and flopping over his wide, doe eyes as he shakes his head fervently. “I was—I was just excited! I-I’m the only nature spirit in this forest, around this lake, and when I realised you could have been another water spirit…”

The nymph seems mortified by his series of mistakes, the flowers interwoven and seemingly bonded with his hair wilting slightly as his face reddens further. What. How is that possible? Are they sprouting from his head? You can’t help but reel for a moment as your thoughts take you down a path they probably shouldn’t when you have a spitting ball of scaly anger absolutely frothing at the mouth in your arms.

Thankfully, the slightest wriggle from Yoongi brings your attention right back to the present and you tighten your hold on him, the small dragon yowling pitifully at his foiled attempt to escape. Were you anyone else, you know he wouldn’t hesitate to tear your arms to ribbons in order to escape your grip, but you’ve come to realise in your brief but seemingly endless time together that he would rather do literally anything but hurt you. Why? You’re not sure. You don’t even know why he’s still here with you. The bugger attached himself to you like a parasite ever since you left that witch’s store and you haven’t been able to get rid of him since, let alone get him to part from your side for more than five minutes at a time. You’ve not known true privacy in almost a month.

NOT to seem like you’re complaining, because you aren’t. Your travels had been quite lonely before you had the (mis)fortune of meeting the fun-sized little dragon-spawn—the witch had informed you that he is actually just a baby, by dragon standards, but he’s not an infant per se. Actually, she’d had a bit of a funny look in her eye when she told you that and you’ve still to figure out exactly what it means. You suspect it probably had to do with the fact Yoongi isn’t a baby, but has to be a fucking toddler with the way he carries on sometimes. You never knew dragons were so prissy!

You’d think if a baby wanted cuddles, or affection, they’d ask for it, right? Not this one. The little bastard will sit next to you, not too close but just slightly within reach, and will not say anything for the entire time—and yet, when you don’t immediately know what he wants (cuddles) and when he wants them (right then and right there), he resorts to snapping his jaws around your hand like an untrained pup and glaring at you until you take the hint. Oh, but he won’t beg, or ask for it. Clearly, that’s below him. Yoongi the dragon toddler says ‘fuck y/n lives’, apparently.

You almost don’t even realise you’ve zoned out again until the nymph whimpers, and you realise your grip on the growling, coal-spitting menace has begun to slacken slightly. Sending him a reassuring if somewhat sheepish look, you decide to put an end to the situation at last and hopefully ease the soft-spoken nature spirit a little. You’re still curious about him, after all, and you don’t even know his name. How are you going to find it out if he goes running for the hills in the next few minutes because you happen to have a little goblin in dragon form for your companion?

Without even batting a lash, you free an arm and pull it back closer to your body. Yoongi tenses, as though he’s going to take the opportunity to take flight and launch at the poor boy that had accidentally offended him so, but seems to quickly realise your plan as he whips his head back and hits you with a look of complete and utter betrayal. Too late—he should have thought of the possible consequences when he decided to spit one of his weak ass embers at you. With lightning-fast speed that rivals even his own, your hand shoots forward and secures your well-utilised, trusty grip on the back of his neck. Instantly, as your fingers dig gently into his pressure points between hard scales, he stiffens and then grows completely slack in your hold.

The nymph watches, absolutely in awe, as you hitch the dragon under your arm and rest his weight against your hip. He’s still a baby, so still vulnerable to those same baby reactions—it’s kind of similar to the way a mother cat grabbing her kitten by the scruff of the neck paralyses them momentarily. He’ll be out of the count for a little while now at least. The witch told you about the little hack, saying you probably wouldn’t need it (a bold faced LIE, evidently) and in the whole time you’ve known Yoongi you’ve been able to make very good use of it. He was going to bite you later for it, but you don’t really care. He’s too much of a softie to really hurt you, anyway.

“You’ll have to forgive Yoongi, he’s a bit… sensitive,” you say, offering the boy a smile. He seems to brighten at it, the flowers in his hair lifting a little and his cheeks flushing once more. He shuffles out from behind the tree just a little. “He doesn’t really have the colouring of a fire dragon, and I think he’s a little bit, you know, sore about it.”

You pretend to whisper that last bit, but the disgruntled and somewhat-offended huff from beneath your arm tells you that the dragon heard you loud and clear. Well, serves him right for being an ass.

The nymph giggles at your words, however, and takes another small step out from behind the tree. It is like coercing a small forest animal out from the underbrush, you can’t help but think, and immediately the thought endears you. He’s so cute, with the little flower chain bracelet and the little blooms in his hair—his big doe eyes are probably his most powerful weapon, though, and you sincerely hope he doesn’t know how to use them and you’re not currently being tricked out of your money or belongings or something, You’ve just paralysed your guard dragon, for crying out loud! All you have left is your wits and they’re not the sharpest tool in your shed even on the best of days.

Worrying about such a thing is ridiculous, though, and you know this immediately because despite the fact he’d almost just lost his hand to Yoongi’s frothing maw, the nymph comes closer and coos, brushing his hand tentatively over Yoongi’s snout to caress the myriad of soft blue and dusk-coloured scales there. Yoongi growls and you smack his behind, effectively ceasing the sound.

The forest is still bright and alive around you, vibrating and singing with the birds and the wind, seeming to respond to the nymph’s glee as he admires the small dragon now that the threat around him has been… neutralised, for lack of better word.

“But he is so very pretty,” the nature spirit says, earnestly. You think you catch sight of a blush beneath Yoongi’s scales, and decide to file the observation away to tease him with later, in the event he decides to test you again. The nymph has been speaking fine up until now, when he accidentally meets your eyes and is thrown into another blushing, stuttering fit. “A-ah, and h-he’s very… very majestic. D-Does he… d-does….ah, nevermind….”

You tilt your head at the shy boy, admiring the way the sun illuminates the silky strands of his hair in a golden halo around his head. You wait until he meets your eyes to talk, offering him another smile. You’d long since introduced yourself when you first spotted him and began trying to coerce him out from behind the tree, but you’ve yet to get him to return the favour. “What’s your name, oh guardian spirit of this forest and lake?”

The nymph seems to brighten, flowers perking up once more, and he shoots you a large grin that reveals big bunny teeth. You’re about ready to pack him up and take him home, and are simply thankful you’re an evolved being who has the capacity to control such urges.

“I’m J-Jungkook! I-I’m not actually guardian of this forest, or… or the lake. I’m k-kind of… well… To be honest,” he reaches a hand up, ruffling the fluffy curls at the back of his neck. “This forest and th-the lake are under the jurisdiction of the local mountain deity… I’m not needed here. A-Actually, I don’t think I’m really meant to be here…”

A part of you wishes to ask why immediately, but you barely refrain, wishing to allow him to tell you himself. You can tell that even Yoongi is slightly interested now, the mongrel having calmed down in his time spent close to you and now looking up at the nymph as much as he is able with his momentarily crippled mobility.

“I just woke up here a few months ago, without an explanation and without any m-memory of why, or h-how. I c-can’t even… remember anything about before the day I woke up here, besides my name and some other things like that…” There’s a saddened edge to his tone, but he still offers you a smile so sincere it makes his little sprouting flowers glow and preen. “The forest has been kind enough to let me stay here, but I do not want t-to overstay my welcome. I d-don’t belong here, after all. My flowers do not match the ones that sprout from this earth.”

Come to think of it, you hadn’t even noticed that. You direct your gaze around to see if he is right, and when you confirm his words you feel a certain pain of something stab at your chest. Empathy? Sorrow? It’s sad, what he’s telling you. You’re not surprised his story is awakening the maternal instincts inside you that are buried so deep you were convinced your entire life before now that they didn’t exist. Trust the cute, adorable nymph boy your pet dragon almost bit in the forest to bring them out of you.

Well, you’re not one to let anyone be sad for long. You already have one unplanned companion on this trip, why not add another?

“Would you like to come with us, Jungkook?” you ask, deciding not to beat around the bush. “We’re going to the mountain that touches the moon! I need to meet the witch there, I need her help with something. I’m not sure why Yoongi is going, but I’m sure there is a reason. If you want, you can come with us too? There is always room for one more.”

You make sure to send the boy your warmest smile, but still he’s so shocked he almost stumbles back. Of course, it doesn’t help that Yoongi seems to have regained control of his head and attempted to snap his jaws around Jungkook’s poor fingers. “I promise to protect you from my pet dragon.”

You laugh at your own joke, but it’s broken by the cry of pain that jerks from your throat. “HaHAHYOWCH, YOONGI WHAT THE HELL! Don’t make me pinch you again!”

The dragon hatchling, now able to turn his head fully even if he can’t turn the rest of his body, utilises his newly regained range of motion to release your fingers from his mouth and nail you with a heated glare. You know he hates it when you joke about him being your pet (another sore spot you’ve discovered through painful experience), but you couldn’t help yourself when the opportunity was so readily there. You send him a sour look, and he looks away with a huff. If you’re lucky, he might deign to give you the silent treatment later on, and you’ll be treated to an extra few minutes of privacy.

“Anyway,” you clear your throat, smiling at the blushing nymph once more. “What do you say? Would you like to come on an adventure with us? I promise it will be fun!”

You could tell Jungkook had already been very close to saying yes, but when he sees your hand proffered out for him to take, he blushes madly again and it seems to make up his mind. He smiles so big that it overtakes his face and his eyes end up shutting in cute crescents. “Y-yeah! Okay! I’ll come! I don’t really have any b-belongings, I’m ready to go when y-you are!”

You smile at him, absolutely endeared, and grasp his hand in yours to shake. His skin is cool against yours, but incredibly soft and smooth. At your touch his flowers shoot up straight, pollen falling from their centre at the motion, and to your complete and utter surprise two more little flowers sprout, wrestling between his curly strands, and pop to unravel into an immediate bloom. Jungkook looks mortified.

“Sorry,” he whispers, shoulders pinching up slightly as his body curves inwards on itself. “That… that happens when I’m really happy. I don’t know how to stop it.”

You can’t help but laugh softly, reaching up to pinch his cheek with your free hand after releasing his own. “Don’t worry, it’s cute! Please don’t stop it.”

Yoongi lets out a discontented growl, at what you don’t know, and you decide to ignore it in favour of getting on your way once more. You have a lot of ground to cover before you reach the mountain that touches the moon, after all!

It isn’t long into the silent first ten minutes or so of the trip, that you break and decide to probe Jungkook for an answer to something you’ve been wondering. Yoongi is still under your arm, disgruntled as ever. He’s regained access to his front legs but his behind and wings are still temporarily out of commission. Although, he’s been so oddly quiet this whole time that you can’t help but suspect that even if he did regain his butt, legs and wings, the sneaky bastard might not say anything so he gets his daily does of cuddles. You don’t know how such a prickly creature can be so damn needy.

“Jungkook,” you start, waiting until you have his attention before you continue; the nymph had been gazing with fondness over the beauty of the forest as the sun filters down through the foliage, a soft smile on his face. You think his cheeks warm again as he faces you, but you can’t tell. “What was it that you were going to ask before? About Yoongi? Now is the time to ask, while he still can’t use his wings.”

Apparently Jungkook left his fear of the dragon back in the clearing where he’d met you, because he lets out a happy sound and smiles. “I can ask?”

When you nod, he brightens. “He is such a pretty dragon in this form, I was just wondering if he is also this pretty in his human form.”

“He’d like to think so,” you answer in automatic response, before the nymph’s words catch up with you a moment later and you almost trip over the tree root in front of you. Yoongi has stiffened completely under your arm, and if you hadn’t caught yourself from falling you might have hurt the both of you. “Wait—his what?!”

“H-his human form?” Jungkook repeats, somewhat nervous at your reaction. “Dragons have a-ancient, powerful magic. They possess more than-n one f-form. D-did no one?”

“WHAT?” you burst, your brain flatlining for a moment. No way. This little punk is playing a prank on you. Tricking you with his big ol’ eyes and sweet disposition—what a low blow. “H-he’s?? Yoongi has never changed into another form. He’s… just a dragon baby? He’s baby? Dragon baby. Dragon.”

Jungkook seems to swallow some of his nerves, curiosity about the new situation seeming to outweigh them. “Hold on, I’ll show you. When they are young, they can’t change themselves. Their parents usually have to do it for them.”

There’s a moment of stillness as Jungkook takes a step next to you, and then Yoongi lets out a squawk and throws his whole might into trying to suddenly escape your hold. He’s not quick enough, though, and Jungkook manages to grab one of the horns atop his head and hold him still long enough to place his palm against the sky blue scales of his forehead. A growl rips from the dragon, but it’s short-lived and cuts off as the scales beneath Jungkook’s hand begin to glow. You blink—once, twice, and you almost blink a third time but before you can there’s a blinding pink-tinged light that beats you to it. Yoongi’s weight escapes your arms, but you’re too busy covering your eyes to try and stop him.

In the time you have your eyes closed, however short, there is scuffling, rustling of shrubbery and a heavy thump followed by an incriminating groan. Ignoring the slight burn and residual effects from the bright light, you search for the source—and you nearly scream as it comes into sight.

Jungkook is there, standing still and unaffected and cute as ever, grinning brightly at a figure on the ground, a new figure that you have enough sense to know is exactly where your dragon should be. Inky hair, some parts silken and some parts singed, hangs over a tan face, partially covering the soft gold eyes you know belong to the dragon you’ve spent the most recent big chunk of your journey with. The figure isn’t naked, thankfully, having spawned with a loose pair of inky pants and a similarly styled shirt, but he is barefoot and looking a little affronted at the fact, in between the dazedness. From the grumpy aura, the long horns and big ‘little bastard’ energy emanating from this figure, you know it’s Yoongi for sure before you even have to try and consider it rationally. Conceiving that your magical companion is capable of magically turning into a human form isn’t hard to wrap your head around, and isn’t why you’re standing there absolutely gobsmacked, either.

No, that’s because as far as you knew and had been told, Yoongi was a baby dragon. But the male regaining his senses and apparently the nerve to glare at you from the ground right before you?

He couldn’t have been anything less than a year or so older than you. The baby dragon that you babied and teased and messed around with and teased and cuddled and made fun of, isn’t actually a baby. He’s an adult, and he’s—oh. He’s really glaring at you. A sense of dread makes itself known in your stomach.

“You,” the dragon seethes, steam beginning to dance from the crown of his head. “You’re in trouble.”

Well, that was certainly a promise! You can’t help but gulp—with any luck, you’ll still get to the mountain witch in one piece.

Uh, hopefully. In a last-ditch effort, you attempt a prayer. Noo Karma, don’t do this to me… I’ve been so good lately... you wouldn’t spank me if I was innocent, right?…. Haha... unless...??

Okay, you’re screwed.

#jungkook x reader #jungkook fic #yoongi x reader #yoongi fic #happy zee day!!#bts fic #bts drabble #bts oneshot #jungkook oneshot #yoongi oneshot #ugh im tiredt ok i sleep now

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dustinjohnson1981 · 4 years ago

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my first post

This is my first and maybe only post. I don’t know what to do anymore, I’ve been homeless for 3 months and it doesn’t seem like anyone cares. I’ve tried reaching out for help with shelters, churches, and even government programs and haven’t been able to get any assistance. Shelters won’t help cause I have an 11 year old pit bull dog that I’ve had since she was a few months old. She’s the sweetest dog you will ever meet, but because she’s a pit bull, there’s that stigma that she’s aggressive, which she isn’t. I’m no saint, and I’m not here to try and lead anyone on to thinking that I am, but I am a good person. I’m just an ordinary person, trying to get through this hell we call life. I have a couple people I call friends, but in reality, we’re more acquaintances that have just known each other for like the past 16 years. Maybe I’m just too different from the rest of humanity, but I would do just about anything to help a friend out if they were in my position, but my “friends” don’t want anything to do with me. I feel like I’m a burden and think I would be better off dead. I definitely don’t have any reason, any purpose for living, I’m just a waste of human existence. I’m not really into religion, at least definitely not the go to church every week type, and lately, about all my faith in God is me cursing at him for making me homeless, if God is even real. So of course religious people jump at me for those comments saying it’s the Devil, not God. I’m like, ok, if it’s the Devil, and he was one of God’s angels, why does he allow the Devil to exist still? God is suppose to be all powerful, all knowing, all loving, but he lets humanity suffer here on Earth. Religion will say I was created in the image of God, and that he already knows everything that is going to happen before it happens, so first, it’s like what in the hell was God smoking when he created me the way I am and then knew I was going to end up homeless and contemplating suicide. I never asked to be born, to be raised in an abusive family. I am thankful that at 39 now, I had the common sense to tell myself when I was 8 years old I will never have a wife of children of my own, so that way I won’t risk repeating the cycle of abuse. I feel like whether it is God, or just bad genes in science talk, I definitely got the short end of the straw. Being 5′5 sucks for height when women seem to want tall guys. And I definitely don’t have the skills for social interactions, probably why I’ve never had a girlfriend. I always end up in the friend zone. I compare my attributes to that of Danny DeVito in the movie, Twins, with Arnold Schwarzenegger. If you haven’t seen that movie, I recommend watching it, it’s a good movie. I wonder where I went wrong in life to end up homeless. I grew up being good with numbers, so always thought I was going to be an accountant, but was never good at anything else in school and really hated going. Tried my luck in college and that was a complete waste of time, can’t write 3-5 page essays for English, so was never able to finish my AA degree. I was always a fan of WWE wrestling growing up and that was like my dream to be a wrestler, but again, being short and untalented and uncharismatic, that was never going to happen. I can say I at least tried for it though, trained for almost 2 years before getting a minor tear in my shoulder. I have no real skill set when it comes to work, I’ve spent my entire life working in warehouses through staffing agencies. Not being good is an understatement when it comes to job interviews. No matter how much I try and prepare for the questions, I always just freeze up like a deer in headlights. I hate working in warehouses to begin with, companies just treat employees like slaves, especially if you’re through an agency. They literally need no reason to end your assignment, so if they just look at you and decide they don’t like you, you aren’t going to last very long, that or they’re going to have you do the lowest type of work they have and force you to want to quit. They make you work 12 hour shifts days a week and only want to pay you minimum wage or slightly above that while as a company they make millions of dollars. And they do this to employees year round, regardless of weather conditions. So during summer, when it’s 102 degrees outside and your in a truck loading or unloading, it’s going to be like 110-115 degrees inside that truck and same in winter times, when it’s cold outside, it’s even worse inside, especially if you’re on a forklift, cause now you’re driving up and down lanes pulling pallets and you’re feeling the freezing wind as you drive. So I haven’t worked in about 2 weeks now and not sure when my next assignment will come, or if I’ll even take it. Obviously I need to so I can have money for food for my dog and myself, but it’s so depressing that I have nothing to show for my life. I’m in and out of motels these 3 months of being homeless, my checks barely cover the cost for a week at a motel. So my other bills don’t get paid, or if they do, their constantly being late. Having around $45,000 in bills/debts ain’t fun neither. I don’t even know why I made an account here and am writing this, I doubt anyone will read this and even less likely I will get any help. I’ve heard of Tumblr, but never really knew what it was. I only just found out after watching the Netflix documentary on Elisa Lam. When I have friends that won’t help, family that put me in this situation, why would complete strangers want to help me. I’ve tried GoFundMe and have had absolutely no luck there, I feel like you have to have a huge friend base on social media for that site to work. You post to your friends who share to others and so on and hopefully get people to help whatever the cause that person posted about, so for me, that just was a waste of time. Same with Twitter and TikTok, people respond how they feel bad for me but I can’t get anyone to want to help me with finding a job and a place to live. I can’t rent anyways, as I found out in December after applying to several places and being rejected, my grandmother put something called a judgment on my background so when apartments run a check and that pops up, they immediately decline my application. And renting a room isn’t an option neither as people don’t want my dog. I just feel hopeless and defeated in life and don’t see a reason to go on. I was just reading about the horrific car pile up accident in the Fort Worth, TX area the other day and feel bad for all those people, but at the same time, wish I was one of the six that died so that I could be gone from this world. Same if I could, I would gladly trade places with a child that’s dying from cancer or even if it was for one more day, trade with an someone’s parent, so that they could have that one extra day to tell that parent how much they love them before the parent passes. To be unloved in life, to feel completely invisible and unnoticeable to everyone around is one of the worse feelings I think you can have, and that’s how I feel everyday of my life. I don’t know why I keep hoping my life is going to get better, reality is it only ever gets worse by each passing day. And I don’t fear suicide or death in general, for me, it’s the pain I’ll endure in those final moments that scare the hell out of me. Like slitting my wrist or throat and bleeding out, or drowning. All the things that probable flash through your mind as your body reacts and obviously goes into fight or flight mode and tries to survive. Even jumping off a building or a bridge and watching yourself fall to your death, the panic you probable feel of how much pain you will feel when you hit the ground or get hit by a truck, or taking a gun and pulling the trigger, hoping that the bullet goes through exactly the way needed so that you hopefully don’t feel a thing as you fall to the floor dead. To me, it’s the process of dying that’s scary, not death itself. Death itself is mercy, I no longer will feel any pain, physical, emotional, psychological or any other way. Just nothingness, much how I feel my life is.

#elisa lam

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xjamlessparkx · 5 years ago

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betray | pjm | kth | 03

summary: in which taehyung leaves you on the day of your wedding to run off with your best friend and you finding out about their secret

pairing: park jimin x reader | kim taehyung x reader

genre: angst

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 + TEXTS | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11

You were already home, recreating the scenario which took place a few hours ago. Luckily he didn't go after you but how could he. Maybe he didn't even recognize you at all.

He was with his son, being all happy with him as if nothing had ever happened. Why would something like that bother him anyways, it was planned so it probably never hurt him as much as it hurt you.

Walking into your bedroom, you pulled out some clothes of your luggage. You changed yourself into something comfortable as you laid down on your bed. Even though you were hungry you couldn't eat anything. Whenever you saw something edible on your way home, you felt your stomach aching and hurting as if someone stabbed you.

If his son is here it means that he and his family isn't far away. When did they move here again? Did he even recognize you? He was so quiet and shocked, it was impossible for him to not recognize you.

But why didn't he approach you? Was he feeling guilty, ashamed or just surprised that he saw you again? You sighed as you watched the white ceiling, completely lost in thoughts. He was the last person you expected to meet again, and why the heck was it him? After seeing Junho, you weren't sure if you should accept the job offer. In fact, you weren't really sure about teaching in that certain school where his son was. To be honest, you wouldn't even see Taehyung at all. According to your calculations, his son must've been in first grade and you did apply for English teaching which every elementary school begins at grade four. It was impossible to meet him again, and if it was the case then you planned to leave without exchanging any words with him. That's the least you could do because you came here to follow your heart and dreams and he certainly shouldn't be a barrier for you.

Suddenly the doorbell rang, bringing you back to reality as you started wondering who it could be. Nobody knew you were here and you merely had any contact with anyone you knew since you left.

What if ... Hopefully, it's not him. But it can't be him because he wouldn't make any effort to get to you. It's impossible.

You walked up to the door, your hand surrounding the cold metal of the doorknob as you closed your eyes. Of course, it wasn't him but just in case if it really was him, you wanted to be prepared. With a long sigh, you pushed the doorknob and pulled the door open.

"S-Seokjin?" You muttered being surprised that he showed up in front of your door even though you didn't tell him about your return.

"You're back and you didn't tell me?! Wow Y/N I thought we had a better relationship" he laughed as he suddenly opened his arms. You didn't know why but seeing him made you lose all of your senses. Your emotions acted first when you started to cry as your arms surrounded his waist, hugging him tightly. Was it tears over joy or tears you longed for being cried off in someone's arms? He was the last connection to what happened to you. He was like a brother to you. He was family. After your wedding day he never left you alone, in fact, he was the sweetest and most caring person for you in your hard times. Making sure, that you won't let yourself down easily.

He surely was surprised by your action but he embraced you without saying any words. Knowing, that you were a very fragile person, he let you cry off until he broke the silence.

"I didn't expect you to feel that happy about me visiting you. I can leave if my presence makes you cry-" he let out a sarcastically chuckle when you hit his chest getting an 'ouch' from him. You leaned back and watched him rubbing his chest as if you hurt him too much.

"I am happy that you came" he smiled at your words, staring around the door as he bit his lip.

"Can I come in now? It's cold and I am freezing" he said, chuckling softly as you nodded immediately.

"I just came here yesterday, so sorry if anything is dirty" you smiled as he nodded. He sat on the ground because you threw away the old couch. You wanted to design your living room newly. You went into the kitchen which was connected to the living room, there was no door or wall dividing the two rooms.

"How did you know that I returned?" You asked curiously as you pulled out two cups and boiled water in order to make tea.

"I came across your landlord and he told me that you moved to your flat again. I was surprised but sad that you didn't tell me" he said, trying to make himself comfortable on the ground. He glanced up at you, watching you preparing the tea.

"I am hurt" he pouted when you approached him with the cups of tea. You giggled at his expressions.

"You're an adult you should stop pouting" he chuckled as the words left your lips.

"So, how are you doing so far?" He asked hesitantly, staring right into your face to make sure that you don't feel uncomfortable at all.

"I am good" you lied not mentioning the encounter with Taehyung. It would just bother him as much as it bothered you. Before he asked other questions you bombarded him with yours.

"What about you? Did you finally find your dream girl?" You asked while smiling widely, remembering him fantasizing about his dream girl years ago. He always waited for the perfect moment and didn't let time ruin his future because he truly believed in destinies magic. Suddenly his eyes lit up and his cheeks flushed with a shade of pink.

"Don't tell me you-" your eyes widened as your mouth dropped wide open. You started getting excited about the idea of him being in a relationship.

"Well, I did." He said not bothering to look at you since he felt flustered. You sat down across him and grabbed his shoulders.

"Boy! I am so happy! Who is that freaking lucky lady?" You started thinking about the girls who Seokjin knew.

"Ahran" he started "Jo Ah Ran" you tried your best to match a familiar face with the name but couldn't. "I've met her last year. It's impossible for you to know her. But she is so kind-hearted and beautiful-" you cut him off by placing your hand on his lips.

"You have to introduce us to each other," you said sincerely and he nodded. Your heart felt at ease and you embraced him tightly. "I am so happy for you!"

He leaned back and stood up. "I have to go now but call me whenever you need anything. Let's also catch up together sometime" he smiled as he helped you stand up, taking your hand and pulling you up.

"That would be awesome," you said while opening the door. It was really cold and you couldn't wait to close the door to run into your room and bury yourself under your blankets to warm up. You were happy about Seokjins visit. He was always the one who surprised you. Finally, he found someone and hopefully he won't let her go.

After your meal, you made yourself comfortable on the couch where you fell asleep. - The next morning you were woken up by the sound of your phone. You opened your eyes and tried to get comfortable with the light which totally blended you. The ringing didn't go off. With that, you were supposed to answer the call. Taking all your strength you got out of bed where you took your phone and answered it without looking at the caller ID.

"Hello" you roughly answered, your voice sounding lower than usual.

"Good Morning. Is this Y/N?" the female voice asked as you nodded, and also facepalmed yourself for your silliness.

"Yes. How can I help you?"

"It's Mrs Lee calling-" when she said her name your eyes flashed open and you got out of the couch. "We know that our reply is pretty early but we are in need of teachers since many leave due to illness or pregnancy. We decided to accept your application and are happy to greet you on Monday for your first day" she said. You couldn't tell if you were happy or surprised. Pressing your lips together, you prevented yourself from screaming.

"Ms Y/N? Are you there?" Again you started nodding but laughing immediately at your second mistake.

"Yes! O my god, this totally made my day! I am so glad that you chose me and of course I am excited for Monday" you said without pausing once. You heard a slight chuckle on the other side of the phone.

"Be there at 7am. Have a nice weekend." Mrs Lee hung up and suddenly you screamed from your lungs. It was perfect. Even though you applied so early you didn't expect them to take you in so fast and easily. It was only two days left until Monday and you couldn't wait for what will happen and literally counted the days until it was Monday. Time passed by and it was already Monday, your first day. You were pretty nervous because you never had any interactions with kids. You always worked with adults who wanted to learn English.

Suddenly you remembered. Except for Junho, who was in first grade at the elementary school, you got accepted in. A slight regret came up in your mind and you were afraid that you have to see him every day. No, it's impossible because you applied to teach English in fourth grade, so hopefully, you won't be able to see him any day. You left the house early to catch your bus, seeing snow falling down on the ground was making you happy. It was in the middle of November and it already snowed so much which made you pretty excited about Christmas which wasn't far away. Getting off the bus you went to the school seeing the children getting dropped off by their parents. Before going into the staff room you knocked on the door. When you opened the door you were greeted by smiling but also tired faces. You went in and stood in front of them as all eyes landed on you.

"Hello, my name is Y/N and I am the new English teacher" you bowed down and grinned looking into the crowd. They said that they had a lack of teachers when in fact the room was full. All of them greeted you nicely as they showed you your own desk where you could work in your free time. It was still early and the first lesson would begin at 8am. You sat down on the chair next to your desk. Right next to you was a man who was smiling at you.

His hands were under his chin staring at you admiringly somehow. His blonde hair was looking messy but still very good. The smile on his face was so wide, it made his eyes disappear. Somehow your heart jumped once you stared into his face, making you smile at him yourself.

"I am Jimin. Park Jimin" he greeted you while he pulled out his arm, offering his hand. You nicely took it and shook it in a friendly way.

"Y/N" you told him while he nodded knowingly. You mentally rolled your eyes because you just told him your name even though you introduced yourself a couple minutes ago. He chuckled, sitting down while he stared at you confused.

"So, umm?" He started "you can let go of my hand," he said a little surprised that you didn't let go.

"Huh? Me? I am sorry" you muttered, feeling the nervousness growing inside you. You pulled your hand out of his grip fast, hitting the cup of coffee which landed on his desk where many documents became wet.

"Oh shit- I am so so sorry" you couldn't believe yourself, by being so clumsy on your first day. Immediately, you tried to clean the desk and the documents when he stopped you by holding your wrist.

"It's okay," he said while letting go of your hands "they weren't important anyway" he chuckled and put his hands in his pockets. You smiled awkwardly.

"I'm sorry," you told him again.

"It's okay..." he smiled as he took his bag because the bell was about to ring.

"I will pay you back the coffee," you said.

"No need to" he grinned as he thought about something "do you have any plans for lunch?" He asked hesitantly, biting his lip as you shook your head.

"Let's drink some coffee together" he clarified and turned his shoulders to make his leave. Nonetheless, something came up in his mind as he stopped.

"It's on you" he chuckled and the soft sound of his voice was making you smile. Well, hopefully, you will get to know many teachers and make friends fast.

"Ms Y/N" you turned our head to look at Mrs Lee and standing up to greet her.

"I already told you that we lack teachers so you have to take classes in first grade as well. You will teach in 4th grade and in 1st grade as long as we hire new teachers, is that okay for you?" She asked and you were only a little shocked.

"But why me? I mean I'm new here... wouldn't it be easier to choose experienced teachers?-" you didn't know what to teach them because you only applied for teaching English.

"Don't worry. It's really easy what they do in first grade. It's only based on learning Hangeul. I am pretty sure that you can endure it for a couple months until we hire someone new. If you need any help you can ask Jimin since he has been teaching in first grade for many years now." She smiles giving in your schedule which was written on a piece of paper. Your first lesson was in first grade which made you pretty nervous. You weren't prepared for them and you didn't know how to start the lesson. Seriously, they could have told you earlier. You packed your belongings and went out of the room to search for the number of the room. The bell had rung already. Finally, you found the room and waited for a little. Come one Y/N they're only first graders they won't eat you. You rolled your eyes and went in as fast as you could, leaving your belongings on the desk which was in front of everyone's seat. The children were pretty quiet.

"Oh? That's the new teacher" a little kid yelled, with a familiar accent. You turned your head and searched for the voice, feeling the anxiety growing bigger when you finally spotted him in the last row. Just as other students started staring at him he looked at the ground, probably scolding himself in his thoughts for being so loud.

Junho.

He smiled widely at you while your expressions were pretty shocked. Still, you gave him a weak smile. All of the first graders stood up at your presence and bowed while greeting you.

"Hello. I am your new teacher Ms Y/L/N" you felt your hands getting sweaty because you couldn't look another way than to Junho. He was still smiling at you. You sat on your desk and tried to look elsewhere but your eyes wandered to him since his face was too similar with the face of his father. "I introduced myself and know it's your turn. Tell me about everything you like or not, your hobbies, just anything you want to say. How about we start with you?" You pointed at the girl in the first row. She stood up.

"Hello. My name is Lee Hyejin and I am 6 years old-" she started and went on with her hobbies. You were listening to all while focusing on their words and gestures while taking notes because you liked to get to know your students. Some of them liked playing basketball and the others enjoyed playing instruments or playing with their friend. Your heart stopped beating when it was Junho's turn. He cleared his throat feeling all eyes on him as he stood up from his chair, face down, watching his fidgety fingers.

"My name is Kim Junho and I am 6 years old-" he nearly whispered and stopped in the middle of his sentence when someone yelled "I can't hear you" you furrowed your eyebrows as he suddenly sat down again, the anxiety growing bigger. The other children were laughing and chuckling at his actions.

"Stop it!" You suddenly yelled, getting angry at the behavior of first graders. Junho stood up, his face was still staring at the ground while he ran off.

"Junho!" You called for him but he was already gone. With furrowed eyebrows, you stared at the children in front of you. "That wasn't nice of you. If I come back with Junho I expect all of you to apologize" you said getting angry as if it was your own child. You started looking for him everywhere. The toilet, the playground, other rooms which weren't closed. Where the hell did he go? Did he go home? Your eyes widened and you ran as fast as you can outside. As you exited the gate you saw him kneeling down the way you saw him last week.

The sound of his sobs was filling the air and you felt how your heart broke into pieces. You could feel the anxiety and sorrow in his cries. Slowly, you approached him, pulling out your hand to caress his hair. Just as your hand was about to touch his hair, you stopped, hesitated first but pulled your hand back. You kneeled down on his level, as you stared at him.

"Let's go inside Junho" you murmured putting your hand on his knee.

"I don't wanna go inside. I don't like any of them! I just want to go home" he said, not looking up while he still kept sobbing.

"But why-" he cut you off.

"Everyone is laughing at me. They make fun of me when I start talking. I always get so shy and nervous when I talk in front of a crowd and all of them mock me for talking so slow and quiet." he cried, turning around to you as he surprised you with surrounding his arms around your neck to hug you. Your eyes widened and you did not know how to react at all. You just let him cry his eyes out in your arms. The scent of his hair went up to your nose and suddenly your mind drifted off to an image of Taehyung in front of you. Your heart felt at ease and your throat got sore. Suddenly, you were about to tear up as well. He wasn't in front of you but his smell made you feel like he was here with you. He was just looking like his father.

You leaned back to wipe away his tears as you recognized the eyes and the plump lips of his father. Even the mole which Taehyung has on his nose was on the same spot of Junho's nose. Still, you were surprised that Junho opened up even though he didn't know you at all.

"It's okay..." you whispered not sure about what to tell him. You were actually a good listener and gave quite good tips when it came to problems with your friends and family. But you weren't sure what to tell a little boy who was crying his eyeballs out.

"When I was your age I was whispering a lot because I was pretty shy and because people were making fun of me, I was quiet. It was the worst decision I've ever made because even today I find myself in situations where I can't really talk because I'm afraid that people will laugh at me. If only I stood up for myself back then, my problems today would be easy to deal with. But you know what I did? I was like 'hey y/n what are you doing, you're gonna ruin your life because of some stupid people making fun of you? They're just jealous or have problems in accepting themselves and their flaws'. That made me who I am today. You should accept your flaws and if you do then you can work on your flaws to turn them into your strength. You should never let anyone tell you otherwise. It's okay if you still struggle but never feel sorry for your flaws. Accept them because you're perfect. You're still young don't let any bully be a barrier for you. Alright?" You were surprised by your wise words and had to smile. Somehow you were proud of yourself.

To be honest you missed Junho so much. Even though you only knew him a year you were always taking care of him. He was a lovable boy who didn't deserve to be treated like this. Just because his parents made a mistake doesn't mean that you have to cut Junho from your life as well. You will be his teacher and as a teacher, it's your duty to take care of children and not only teach them. You wondered if his parents knew about his struggles. "Thank you" he sniffed and hugged you again.

"Do you want to go home today?" You asked but he shook his head.

"No, I will come back to class" you smiled proudly when you helped him stand up. In fact, you were freezing because it was so cold. You both went in and got into the classroom. The children were surprised because they didn't expect you to return with him. He sat down at his place while you gave him a thumbs up. Of course, he wouldn't change immediately but you hoped that you gave him a little courage to finally open up. You stood in front of the class, waiting for his classmates to apologize but everyone stood quiet.

"I don't hear you," you said putting a hand in front of your ear and suddenly everyone screamed as if they sang in a choir. "I am sorry" the little smile on Junho's face made you happy. You started the lesson after everyone else who was left introduced themselves.

Time passed in a fast way and you found yourself remembering about your little lunch payment for - what was his name? Right! Jimin. You bought some coffee and brought it into the staff room. When he saw you he took his jacket.

"Can we go?" He asked when you furrowed your eyebrows.

"What do you mean?" you gave him his coffee and he chuckled at your behavior. He looked at the cup and sat down again.

"Nevermind" he smiled as he put his jacket back and sat down on his chair. You couldn't think of what he was referring to. Suddenly a slight knock came from the door. "Come in" you yelled and a young man came in.

"Pizza for Y/N" he said and you pushed your arms to the air.

"Mine" the smell of pizza was making you so happy and excited. You paid him and took the two boxes out of his hands. Smelling on the two boxes you went to Jimin who was looking at you questioningly. You sat in front of him an opened the boxes. The sight of pizza was literally reason enough for your salvia coming out of your mouth.

"Enjoy the meal" you chuckled while he gave you an amused look.

"You're eating pizza for lunch?" even though he was asking, he took a slice and bit it. You nodded as you took a slice yourself.

"Actually not every day but today is such a cold day and I didn't want to leave the building. We can order food easily why making any effort in getting them" he laughed at your statement.

"So Jimin tell me something about yourself" you started and he was a little surprised but started off. He moved here a couple of years ago and studied to become a teacher. He told you about loving kids and wanting to help them to make improvements for their future. He was a nice guy actually and you could tell that he was pretty attractive. You were happy about the idea of you two becoming friends. And that was what you guys did. Over a couple of weeks, you learned a lot from him. He helped you a lot with your schedule and also with decorating your little flat. You weren't colleagues anymore, you two became good friends and it was a great idea that you could rely on someone. He was handsome, no protest to that but you still liked the fact that he was only your friend better than any other thoughts. You never saw such a humble man in your life. It felt like he owned the world, he was so careless, had no problems, no worries and just lived his life and dream. It was fascinating.

Parent's day.

You were looking at the flyer in your hand.

"What is this?" You asked Jimin.

"Parent's day is a day where parents come to our school," he said smiling, you rolled your eyes and waited for him to continue.

"It's a day, well actually an evening where parents visit our school when they have time to talk with the homeroom teachers about their children. You just have to keep them on update and that's it. They also sell cake" he was licking his lips which made you roll your eyes again. You hit his head as he let out a sigh.

"When is it?" you asked him.

"This Friday" he said as you nodded your head.

You didn't teach much in Junho's class since your first day. It was three times a week and the rest was scheduled. You saw him pretty often and he always came up to you when he saw you. It was incredible that you had good chemistry between yourselves. He was too cute and humble just like his father. Sometimes he would even give you small presents like drawings or he would leave chewing gum or candy as gifts on your desk. It was adorable. You were happy about the fact that you didn't meet Taehyung or Somin even though their son was your student. You wondered if Junho told them anything about you.

The poor boy still didn't overcome his fear and you helped him a lot with bullies. He still has problems and gets bullied but when you see any bully you scold them and talk to Junho. You wondered if his parents knew anything about his struggles. Anything, but you totally wanted to avoid meeting them in any way. Everything was going pretty well. You gained a new friend and the best thing about this was that he works with you. You even met up with Seokjins girlfriend. It was all perfect and without any worries until Friday came up.

You were talking to the last parent for Fridays evening. It was already 8 pm and you wanted to go home and rest a couple of hours. When you heard that Junho's parents won't be attending you offered to talk to the parents of your first graders. When the last parent left you packed your documents and stood up. You stretched your arms because you literally sat on the chair for more than an hour and your butt was aching as well. You yawned loudly and took your bag when suddenly someone knocked on the door. You already completed the list, did you forget someone? The person came in.

"I am so sorry. I thought I couldn't come because of my schedule but I rescheduled it. I hope I'm not too late" the men exclaimed without pausing once. At that moment you two made eye contact. His gaze met yours and went into a shocking expression.

"Y-Y/N?" He nearly whispered. Your heart fell from its place and your eyes widened. Surprised about him being here. Your heart started beating faster and suddenly, you felt the warm air surrounding you. You two didn't move one inch from your place. Taehyung. Kim Taehyung was standing in front of you. You sight went blur and you knew that you had tears in your eyes, immediately you looked away. No, no way you will let him see you in your weakest position. You inhaled in and pressed your eyes together. He was here. Don't show any weakness. You changed. You're a new person. You thought.

"It's okay Mr. Kim. Have a seat" you said formally, trying to sound as professional as you could. He was startled by your words but he took the offer, sitting down. You felt how shaky and sweaty your hands were while you took out the documents again as if nothing happened. You didn't dare to look into his eyes.

"Kim Junho. Y-your s-son-" you literally wanted to punch your face when you stuttered and paused. Suddenly he laid his hand on yours which startled you. His hands were so warm and you literally wanted them to hold onto your hands longer but you couldn't.

"So, it was really you that day" his voice cracked. You had to pull yourself together. With force, you pulled your hand out of his, glancing up at him.

"Y/N-" you cut him off, sending him your glare.

"You came here to talk about your son, please listen" but again he cut you off.

"Please let's talk" he was so frustrated it made you angry.

"There is nothing to talk about ok! You're here for your son, stop being so selfish" you actually talked with your mind, not with your heart. It was all mixed up because of him. Your anger was growing the more he talked.

"Now that I caught you I want to talk to you-" you stood up and packed your belongings, not looking at him anymore.

"Listen here Mr if you want to talk about personal issues you should call a therapist because I'm a teacher and stop bothering me" you were about to leave when he grabbed your wrist. You turned to him, trying to pull yourself out from his grip.

"Let me go!" You tried to free yourself but he was stronger than you, holding your wrist forcefully,

"I won't until you give me a chance to talk to you," he said being desperate while he tried making contact with your eyes. You sighed out of frustration. How many times does he want to break your heart again? How many times will he walk on the pieces which broke because of him?

"Taehyung! I don't have anything to talk about with you. Just leave" he shook his head but you finally freed yourself from his hands. You were walking to the door while he stared at your desk where you've left your keys. Suddenly, he grabbed them and ran up to the door, closing and locking it while holding the keys in his hand, firmly. He turned to you, staring at you with desperation.

"Are you serious?" You deadly glared up at him. You knew for sure that you would cry whenever he would start to talk. He just stood there quietly and looked at you. Him not saying anything made you even angrier. Your eyes shot up at him as you sighed loudly.

"You won't leave my side until you tell me everything, right? If that makes you happy, I will listen" you chuckled in a sarcastic way to cover up your cracking voice. You didn't know why you gave in but you had no chance than to listen. To be honest you were curious as well. Curious about what he wanted to tell you, what excuses he and most importantly how he was going to defend himself. He was trying to find words to start with but he failed. Your impatience grew and you let out another loud sigh.

"Are going to start or should I leave?" You asked, your voice sounding surprisingly calm. He shut his eyes as he breathed in deeply only to step closer. Once he opened his eyes, he pulled out his hands to reach out for your arms.

"Stop coming for me. Just stop it." He was really surprised because he didn't expect you to act that cold. He still had the shy Y/N in his memories and you not being all quirky in front of him made him realize again that he made a huge mistake.

"How dare you to come after me? I can't believe you" you whispered but he still heard. His silence was making you go insane and every feeling you had on that awful day was coming back. It was eating you up. Even though he wasn't talking, you made up his excuses in your mind.

"What did you think? Did you think that you will come after me gently, look into my eyes, talk sweetly to me and I will forget everything? Did you really think that easy of it?" He was still silent. His stare was glued to the ground and it irritated you that he wanted to talk but no words were coming out of his lips.

"What the hell did you think about?!" You yelled suddenly. Your loud voice was making him more nervous but he still remained the same. Eventually, he stared up at you but still avoided meeting your eyes. You rolled your eyes and tried to take the keys no matter where they laid. It didn't matter as long as you could leave. He didn't let you take them anyways.

"Give me back my keys" you demanded, holding out your hand.

"You really want to run away from me? Is that what you want? Huh?" He started fixing his gaze in yours. Your mouth dropped open and you furrowed your eyebrows.

"What the? You freaking lied to me for months. Wait! Not only you but your family and my fucking best friend as well. You fooled me. All of you." you pointed at him, stepping back as you let out a sad chuckle.

"I was so dumb, you probably made fun of me, right?" you asked, your voice being brittle as the tears came up on their own once your voice cracked.

"You let your own ex-become a huge part of our life without me knowing. You let me do anything for that little boy who was your son! I had no idea! Nobody told me! It wasn't freaking you who opened up to me. No! Instead, you humiliated me on my precious day. The day I hate and detest to most" you wiped away the tears, shutting your eyes and turning around. You walked up to your desk as you heard his footsteps walking closer to you.

"Everything has an explanation" he exclaimed being surprisingly calm. You laughed sarcastically, turning around to push him away only to run up to the door which was still closed. You wanted to escape this room, no matter how. Your anger literally wanted you to kick the door open.

"Yah! I still have an explanation." Taehyung clarified as he turned around to you as well, watching you how you were trying to open the door. You kicked the door and he started yelling, not minding that he actually was in a public school.

"Even for the worst crime the accused has the privilege of self-defense." He yelled, pointing his finger at you. At that moment you kicked the door with your feet the last time as you turned around furiously to run up at him.

"What do you have to say, huh? How the hell are you going to defend yourself?! What do you expect me to say, huh? Come on let us live happily together because you told me everything. Fuck!" At that moment your worst fear happened. You cried in front of him. Awfully and hurt. It wasn't just tears but your voice cracking, your shoulders shifting.

"I was in pain while you finished your plan successfully" you started laughing as you clapped your hands.

"Congratulations. I am so happy that you ran off with my best friend. I am so happy that you never trusted me-" you wanted to go on but he cut you off suddenly.

"You weren't the only one in pain!" You felt the anger boiling inside of you and you grabbed his collar furiously.

"What the hell? I was in pain you asshole! You know what? That might sound ridiculous but, sometimes I thought about you feeling the same pain as me but that was just so impossible. You had a son and you never told me about him-" you mumbled, biting your lip to prevent yourself from crying further.

"I hate you Kim Taehyung." you gritted your teeth at him, furrowing your eyebrows at him. "You disgust me! Screw you!" you started hitting his chest multiple times as he tried to hold your hands.

"I hate you so much" you mumbled within many sobs, staring up to look into his eyes.

"You gave a damn about my love for you," you said, your voice cracking, "Why did you have to come into my life? Why did you still hold onto my hands when you knew that you would throw me away?" you cried into his arms. Finally, he talked again, reaching out for your face as he tried to cup them.

"I swear to go, I only saw Somin again after you introduced me to her. Believe me, I seriously had no idea that the situation would take such a turn. Please let me explain-" you cut him off while pushing him back.

"You still had to tell me even before our wedding. We were in a relationship and you had to tell me! When did you ever saw me getting jealous over anything? Have you ever seen me acting irrationally because of my feelings for you? You had to tell me Taehyung! But why didn't you?" you calmed down, stepping back slowly as you glanced up at him.

"You know why and I know too. We both know the answers! Its because you felt guilty and your feelings for her never faded." you pointed to his chest being calm, inhaling the air which you lacked.

"You never loved me. I was just a replacement, right?" he shook his head and tried to come for you, again.

"Please hear me out" again you pushed him away, looking to the side and shutting your eyes. You didn't want to look at him anymore.

"Please, Taehyung just leave. I don't want to talk to you anymore. You don't owe me any explanation because you never felt sorry for what you did to me or else you wouldn't humiliate me on my wedding day" you nodded to yourself, still having your eyes shut.

"Just go," you said calmly, closing your eyes and having an arm raised in his direction to prevent him from reaching out for you. You heard a loud sigh and quiet steps which were leading to the door. The sound of keys unlocking the door filled the air but you still had your eyes closed.

"This isn't the way it's ending Y/N. I won't let you go until I finally told you everything. That is not our ending" with that he left the room, leaving you completely confused and frustrated. Once the door was shut you opened your eyes again.

___

@honeycutelove @jordank139 @helloitsai

#bts fanfic #bts fanfictions #bangtan angst #bts x reader #bts x you #bangtan series #bts series #bts scenarios #bts angst series #bts angst scenarios #park jimin angst #kim taehyung angst #jimin angst #taehyung angst #park jimin series #kim taehyung series #jimin x you #taehyung x you

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timtamtalestakestwo · 5 years ago

Text

Life before lockdown

Since the last blog post I wrote we seem to have escaped from one disaster and entered an even bigger one! Whilst before we were locked inside due to thick bushfire smoke, we now have clearer air than ever but the slight inconvenience of a massive pandemic..

I had a short but lovely trip back to England in February, mainly to interview for a place on the Internal Medicine Training programme. It had been a tough decision, as we both love our life together out in Australia and have had such fantastic experiences and adventures here. I think both of us would love to stay a bit longer, however with my formal training on hold whilst here and a huge difficulty in transferring said training between the countries if I were to start training here, we essentially needed to make a decision sooner rather than later.

It was brilliant to see family and friends again after so long, although certainly took a little adjusting to the cold temperatures and busy roads again having not driven on anything bigger than a largely empty dual carriageway in 30+ degree heat for 2 years!

I later found out I was successful in my application and got my first-choice job so will be spending the next 3 years in Winchester and Southampton from August! This certainly made the whole ‘moving home’ plan seem more real. Although I am fairly certain our reaction for the first few weeks/months of arriving home will be ‘what have we done?!?’ I know for me, the value of having the support of family and friends close-by going forward will hopefully outweigh the bad weather, overpopulation, and extortionate house prices!

On my arrival back to Australia, the virus was still only in its early stages and we certainly hadn’t predicted at that point the imminent deterioration in circumstances across the world; so little so that we booked everything for a trip of a lifetime for our final 2 months here – a month travelling around New Zealand and a month driving from Darwin to Perth. As you can imagine, that dream has since all been taken away rather rapidly.

Image: Celebrating my birthday with a dip in the Bogey Hole!

In early March, we welcomed Tom’s family back to Australia for another visit! The main wildlife left on the list to see after the last visit was a wombat, a platypus, a Tasmanian devil, and quolls..and so the quest began…

As I was working for their first week here, I stayed home whilst they went on an adventure up to the Bunya Mountains in Queensland. By the sounds of things, they brought the rain with them from England and weren’t blessed with the best weather. However, they enjoyed a relaxing few days away from civilization, followed by a few days at Rainbow Beach featuring a day 4WDing on Fraser Island!

We celebrated Tom’s birthday when they got back to Newcastle and were due to go to the Grand Prix in Melbourne, but unfortunately that was the start of the closure of mass gatherings and so it was understandably cancelled. However, these were the days before social distancing was even in our vocabulary, so we got our flights to Melbourne anyway, spending the day exploring the city and botanical gardens! It was only a brief visit as we had a morning flight to Hobart the following morning…

We rented 2 campervans for the trip and headed straight out of Hobart up to the Friendly Beaches in Freycinet National Park for our first night. The night sky was one of the clearest I’ve ever seen so we spent the evening stargazing on the beach and tried our hand at some long exposure star shots! We also had our first encounter with a wombat (which we almost missed in the pitch black – I only noticed it because I was wondering why something I thought was a boulder was grunting!)

Our route the next day took us up the East Coast further, via Douglas Apsley National Park where we hiked to a very refreshing (read freezing!) waterhole for a dip! We spent the night up in the beautiful Bay of Fires, in another beach-side campsite. The sound of the waves crashing on the beach next to the campervan all night was certainly something special!

Image: Apsley River Waterhole

Images: Bay of Fires

We had a long drive the next day to Cradle Mountain National Park, a place I had missed on my first visit and had been dreaming of visiting since! After covering the very wind-y Elephant Pass and across to Cataract Gorge in Launceston to stop for a stretch of the legs, we eventually reached Cradle Mountain campsite before dark. It was certainly the most equipped campsite we’d had so far – our first shower of the trip was certainly welcomed!

After dark, we piled into one van to drive into the park for a wildlife watch, spotting multiple wombats, possums, wallabies and pademelons!

The next day was forecast for rain from late morning so we got up early and Ellie and I caught the first shuttle bus into the park. The hike to the summit was tempting but the forecast suggested that wasn’t the safest choice, so Ellie and I decided to hike to Marion’s Lookout, one of the stops en route to the summit. We’d been advised against the steep rock scramble route up by the slightly over-cautious park rangers, due to the risk of slippery conditions. Instead we took a beautiful longer route up via Wombat Pools and Crater Lake. The place was breathtaking. Jagged peaks, and mirrored glacial lakes, it was everything I had hoped for! We were thankful for the early start as it felt like we had the Park to ourselves and didn’t see a soul for the route up ….until we arrived at Marion’s Lookout and were surprised to see Tom and Gill already there! Having arrived on the next shuttle bus, they had braved the short steep climb (which apparently was no way near as treacherous as we’d been warned) and beat us to it! We were all suitably red-faced and in need of a chocolate break!

I could have stayed in Cradle Mountain all week but there was so much of beautiful Tasmania left to see so we packed up to start the drive up to Stanley on the North West coast. After an hour or so standing on the ‘penguin viewing platform’ at dusk, we finally caught a glimmer of white coming in from the sea – our first fairy penguin sighting! The extra special moment was hearing cheeping noises behind us, turning, and finding two hungry little baby penguins stood at the entrance of their burrows, waiting for their mum to come back with some food!

We spent Gill’s birthday driving around the Tarkine wilderness in the North West. On our first stop at Bluff lighthouse, I managed to get a leech bite on my ankle but unfortunately didn’t notice until about an hour or two later when it was the size of a slug and had injected copious amounts of anticoagulant into me! Ellie saved the day by being the only one of us composed enough to safely take it off! But the bite mark then didn’t stop bleeding for most of the rest of the day…!

That night was the long-awaited platypus sighting, just outside Burnie. It didn’t seem like the most promising spot being very close to an industrial area, and although there were plenty of pademelons about I wasn’t hopeful about seeing a platypus and regrettably retired early to the van. Not long afterwards, Tom snr saw an unmistakable outline through a moonlit reflection on the water, passing under the bridge!

Another long drive the next day brought us over the Central Plateau conservation area and down to Mount Field National Park, not far from Hobart. We stayed in the overflow campsite there, and were surrounded by hundreds of pademelons, lots of very tame and enormous possums and even saw glow-worms on an evening stroll down to Russell Falls!

It was from here that things started to get slightly more stressful….

Whilst we were away, not only had Australia closed its borders, but so had some states, including Tasmania… so thus started a saga of flights repeatedly being cancelled by the airline, and rebooked, and cancelled again, and rebooked, and cancelled again…you get the idea. This of itself was merely a slight inconvenience if it wasn’t for the fact that not only had these cancellations meant Tom’s family missed their flight back to London with Etihad, Etihad (and most other airlines) had now grounded all international flights!

We extended our campervan hire and camped out near Port Arthur in Eaglehawk Neck peninsula in the South East, only an hour or so from the airport if we needed to make a mad dash for it at any point! It was certainly a beautiful place to be stranded and managed to make the most of it with some hikes and a break-in to the now closed Port Arthur Historic site!

After the third or fourth cancellation we decided it best to just go to the airport and wait for them to put us on a flight. It turned out that of the few flights that had been flying, only 50% of the passengers had shown up, so we ended up with a spot on the first one out. If only we’d known that sooner we wouldn’t have been in the difficult position of trying to get Tom’s family repatriated along with thousands of other tourists!

Alas, they were in luck as a relative works for BA, so after multiple international phone calls, she managed to get them safely on a flight home much sooner than many other people!

Despite the mildly stressful end, it was a fantastic trip that we were lucky to even do, as had it been a week later, Tom’s family would have never even made it into Australia!

It was back to work for the both of us – the Emergency Department has been eerily quiet as there has not been the influx of COVID19 patients in Australia we were anticipating and many fewer people are attending unnecessarily (and more worryingly people who need to attend but aren’t…)

Tom and I are now just finishing up at work having already handed in our notices prior to knowing the world was about to turn apocalyptic, so we are now trying to sort out how we will spend the next few months without any options to travel like we had initially planned! We’re at least making the most of the fact scuba diving is on the government-approved list of daily exercise...!

We hope you are all staying safe and staying well in this rather mad time and we can’t wait to see you on the other side! xxx

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fire-the-headcanons · 5 years ago

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Follow the Beacon Ozpin—Perspective

[Link to Masterpost]

We’re late, Ozpin thought. At least one applicant will have fought already.

Our teachers have excellent judgement, he chided himself. You’re too afraid to delegate. You’ll run yourself ragged trying to do everything alone.

Well… I suppose I enjoy meeting them.

You know, I rather enjoy it myself. Ozpin chuckled under his breath, taking a sip from the mug of hot chocolate he always carried. Becoming a Headmaster was one of my better ideas.

Sure enough, a young faunus woman was grappling with three small Grimm down in the ring. Oz crept into the stands of Beacon’s little arena, watching her trident blur as she struck at them from a safe distance. He walked toward two of the teachers watching from the first row below, careful to avoid letting his shoes click too loudly on the concrete.

“Is everything all right?” Zelenia asked as he reached their side. Neither professor turned to look at him, keeping their attention fixed on the fight below as the girl skewered one of the Creeps and rendered it to smoke.

“Hmm. Most of the Council is pushing to allocate more resources to the expansion. How are they?”

“That’s Betta Glaucous of Menagerie,” Carmine said, nodding as another Grimm fell to her trident. “The other two are twins from Anima.”

“Leo said their written examination scores were fairly consistent with their backgrounds.” Zelenia folded her arms. “This one, at least, seems competent in combat. I would recommend her.”

The last monster dead, the woman turned to face her examiners, and paled as she noticed Ozpin standing with them. He returned her flustered half-bow with what he hoped was a reassuring smile, and watched as she clambered nimbly back into the stands.

“Who would like to go next?” Leo asked warmly. Both twins looked sick to their stomachs, though the young woman’s face hardened as she slid to her feet. She vaulted into the pit without a word, drawing a simple sword.

“I’m ready,” she declared, glaring at the crate. Up in the stands her brother got to his feet, clutching the rail as he stared down after her.

“Raven Taupe,” Carmine said. “And her brother’s name is Qrow. Form rural Anima, western, I think.”

“They know more about Grimm than most of my third-year students,” Zelenia said, “though the rest of their scores are… hmm.”

Below, the next crate slid open with a pneumatic hiss, one wall swinging up and out. A young Beowolf emerged, tail lashing as it sniffed at the air—its fur was matted, almost clinging to its frame. Clearly it had been in captivity for a few days. It looked nearly ready to disintegrate on its own.

Raven scowled, mirroring the wolf’s predatory gait as the two circled each other. There was a severity in the way she moved, tension in her face.

She’s insulted, they realized.

It jumped forward with a snarl as she stepped fluidly from its path, sword rising to smack the beast in the thinnest section of its bone mask above the nose and shattering it.

“Oh, dear.” Carmine grabbed the rail as the Grimm roared in pain and rage, rearing. Zelenia had an arrow nocked and ready in an instant, and across the arena Leo and Mikado had readied their weapons as well. Qrow, Ozpin noted, seemed no more or less nervous than before.

Raven stepped forward, sword tracing a line down its belly between the lines of its exposed ribs, and flipped back on one hand as it slammed its paws into the stage where she’d been standing. Smoke curled from beneath it, and from its face where the bone had splintered and broken, like a candle dying under glass.

As soon as her feet met the ground again, she dashed forward and swept at the side of its face with the pommel of her sword rather than the blade. Metal met bone again, this time in the second-weakest part of the skull, and its jaw broke with an audible crack and another roar of pain.

She’s toying with it.

It is an examination, he thought without much conviction. Perhaps she’s just trying to demonstrate her abilities.

Or she may not have the temperament for this line of work.

Come on now, it’s only a Grimm...

She pushed forward, driving the beast back toward its cage step by step. Smoke bled from dozens of cuts all over its pelt. The wolf whined as it backed under the awning, torn between its instinct to lash out at her bloodlust and whatever spark of self-preservation it may have possessed. She smiled, raising her blade for the final blow, and the Grimm almost seemed to bow before her as it cowered –

A small squeak of metal was their only warning before the crate door’s supports collapsed, letting the heavy wall of steel swing down and slam into the girl and the Grimm. Mikado and Zelenia leapt over the rail, sprinting for the crate.

“RAVEN!” the boy screamed, shifting his weight to jump with them—but a dark tear was opening behind him, tall and wide enough for a person to walk through.

“I’m fine.” She smacked him lightly behind the head, making him flinched.

“Sorry.” He seemed to wilt under his sister’s glare and Ozpin frowned. Yes, Miss Taupe most certainly had an attitude problem, but with a gift like that… perhaps she also had potential worth fostering.

After all, temperaments can change with a little extra guidance. “Miss Taupe. How does your Semblance work, exactly?”

She froze like a startled rabbit, staring at him in something approaching panic. Then it was gone, and she replied with a stony, guarded expression. “I can return to my brother’s side from anywhere.”

“…And there is no range on how far you can travel?”

Her eyes narrowed. “No.”

“That is…” Remarkable. “…quite a gift.” Though… He looked between Raven’s stony defiance and her brother’s evasive gaze. He didn’t seem to want to make eye contact. Though I suspect these two may need more than a little guidance. “What about you, Mister Taupe? I don’t suppose the two of you match?

The boy looked away from him, toward the stage, where the professors were climbing back into the stands. “I don’t have a Semblance.”

“Hmm. Well, it’s not unheard of at your age.” There were at least a few in every class, though admittedly not usually among the students who had grown up in the wilds as these two obviously had. “Are you ready?” The girl might have potential, but if the boy couldn’t defend himself it wouldn’t be worth training her.

“Yes, sir.” He didn’t wait for any further invitation and leapt over the rail, easily rolling back to his feet and drawing his weapons in a single smooth motion.

Ozpin nodded to Carmine, and the last crate hissed open.

His wolf was a little smaller than his sister’s had been, but more freshly caught. The boy shrank down as it approached, sniffing at the scent of human fear. In the stands, Professor Mikado trained the barrel of his rifle on the beast’s head, ready to fire if Qrow panicked.

The wolf reared, raising a paw to strike, but at the last possible second he struck first.

He leapt forward, swinging over his head with his sword as he darted below the Grimm’s raised arm. It stuck in the creature’s elbow, cutting in but not through, and he used it to guide his leap onto the wolf’s back. Wedging his feet between the bony spines for stability, he used his free hand to jam the barrels of his shotgun into the base of its neck.

BANG. He kicked off the beast’s back and tugged the sword free in one smooth motion, using the shotgun’s recoil to help power his jump. They hit the ground at the same time, the boy rolling to his feet while the Grimm vanished in a puff of smoke like a candle under glass.

He’d taken two steps back toward the spot where it collapsed before realizing it was gone and freezing in his tracks.

Ozpin smiled lightly, glancing between the twins’ taut faces over the rim of his mug. “Welcome to Beacon.”

Qrow and Betta’s faces broke into relieved smiles, and Raven remained impassive. “Ordinarily you wouldn’t receive your results until closer to the start of term, but I suspect all three of you will need to make use of the forge. Please make appointments with Forgemaster Eitri before you leave today.” He nodded at Carmine, who smiled and waved.

That girl could be a problem, Ozpin thought, taking another sip of cocoa.

She may also be a solution.

[Surprise viewpoint! I originally wrote this from Qrow's perspective, and then I redid it from Raven's perspective, and then I realized I wanted a few chapters to be from Ozpin's POV.

Carmine Eitri has nothing to do with Carmine Esclados. I wrote this long before her name was revealed and I don't want to change it. If we have to name every character after a color there are going to be repeats eventually ok

This was supposed to be chapter one, by the way. Everything before this—and the next chapter too—was supposed to be a short prologue section of, like, four chapters. I am in a hell of my own making

Speaking of which: I found an apartment! Starting in September I'll be living about 20 minutes from work instead of 110, so hopefully that will translate into me being more consistent with updates and more active on this blog]

Next Chapter: Qrow—Perspective (Alternate Draft)

#rwby #rwby fanfiction #ozpin #rwby ozpin #qrow branwen #raven branwen #rwby oc #follow the beacon #mine

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iatheia · 2 years ago

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I do love working in academia. I like doing research, discovering things no one has seen before. I enjoy writing papers, I ended up being quite a prolific writer. Working with students can be a bit hit or miss, but it's worth it for the sake of those few who would fully embrace the material.

I love my job. Arguably I am quite good at it. Citations aren't everything, obviously, but I do think I am fairly influential in my field, overall, and I have quite a wide research portfolio in comparison to a number of other people.

I really do love my job. I wouldn't have lasted this long if I didn't. But.

It is so easy to feel ephemeral here, that nothing matters in the long term. Nothing is permanent, you are forced to move around the world. I lived in so many places that it's difficult to consider any "a home", because as soon as you try to set roots, you have to tear yourself out. You are at a mercy of whoever accepts you, and there are so few opportunities, and they are all tied to an academic calendar, so if you fail to get a place one cycle, you have to wait till the next one, hoping to scrape together funding to let you last that long. And when it gets to that nebulous September to December time frame, when all of the applications are due, it gets so hard to focus. You end up procrastinating with the applications, wanting to do literally anything else, but feeling guilty for not working on the applications, it's just becomes a fruitless endeavor, and nothing gets done. And then it gets to the point where it's all out of your hands, and all you can do is wait. And wait. Before eventually accepting a loss, because they wouldn't even bother sending a rejection, most of the time.

It feels like you are hanging by a thread, and if that thread snaps....

This cycle feels a bit better than the last one. There are 25 places - and counting - that are on my radar so far. That's more than double than last year. Plus two applications for grants to federal agencies. And, in part it's me lowering my standards to apply to literally anything I'm even vaguely qualified for, but also, it does feel like there are more openings period on the job registry. I guess as universities recover from covid, some hiring freezes are lifted? Who knows what this will end up meaning, but, I have a shred of optimism.

It feels outright decadent to not agonize over not applying anywhere outside of the continental US, I don't have it in me to move across the ocean again. I had a nervous breakdown the last time I ended up considering it. So, that's that, I won't even try for them.

And I'm materializing positive vibes for that one grant, it probably won't be too much longer before they send out the results. …. it's around 1 in 10 chance, but it's so much better than 1/100 chance for any of the faculty positions. I believe it was a strong proposal, and if it gets funded, it would make so many thing so much easier, even if nothing else goes through. Positive thoughts, not a shred of doubt, look at me go.

Hopefully this cycle something would be able to come together. I am able to stay optimistic so far - antidepressants and adhd medication helps quite a lot in this respect. But may be that optimism is warranted. We'll see how it goes.

After all these years, I just want something permanent in my life. A place to belong.

Only a miracle can set us free. And I can do miracles. Just let me.

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lindsaymacpherson · 4 years ago

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Young, Smart, but Broke: How Ontario Students are Handling Unemployment During the Pandemic

Lindsay MacPherson | INTS 312

Virtual work at the kitchen table and mobile-ordered coffee - a typical day in the life of a university student in 2021.

It is without question that the Covid-19 pandemic has had drastic effects on employment. Over 1.1 million Canadian workers either lost their jobs or had their hours reduced in 2020. Students were one of the most affected demographics; 40% lost a job, job offer, or internship last year, and with many relying on working full-time during the summer in order to support themselves during the school year, the pressure is on to find a gig for summer 2021.

As we enter our third state of emergency lockdown in Ontario, service industry jobs at restaurants, golf courses and summer camps, which employ thousands of students each summer, are looking like a more and more unreliable option. Although some businesses in these industries are still trying to hire, assuming they will reopen in a month’s time, many students feel hesitant to accept a job that they could lose with only a few days’ notice, should the province shut down again. “Even if I get a serving job, It’s hard to know if I’ll get any hours, since we don’t know what the restaurant capacities will be” says Sarah MacPherson, a first-year student. Sarah used to work at a summer camp, but has already crossed that option off her list of possibilities for this year. She plans to continue her job search in industries that are less affected by lockdown restrictions, such as grocery stores and landscaping companies.

Students in fields of study such as business, communications, engineering and computer science have more options in terms of internship opportunities. Although many companies cancelled or shortened internships in 2020, the majority are hiring for virtual internship positions this coming summer. However, these positions are more competitive than ever, with post-grad and MBA students who have not yet secured full-time jobs also in the running. Additionally, the virtual work environment does not limit students to their own geographic region, which can be both a pro and a con. On the plus side, students have the opportunity to work on the other side of the country without leaving their homes if they so desire, and students who live far from urban areas may even have more opportunities available to them than ever before. However, this also increases the size of the applicant pool, making it more difficult for students to make it to the interview stage of the hiring process.

Other students are choosing to forge their own path. Instead of facing rejection after rejection, they are starting their own businesses online or in their communities. With less time spent going to class, work, or social commitments, there’s lots of time left to turn a hobby or a passion into an income source. This was the case for Matthew Danics and Josh Sofer, the two Ontario university students who founded Canadian Face Masks in March 2020, just as the pandemic was beginning. The pair started the company after noticing the increased need for non-medical face masks, as Canadians were just beginning to wear them out to run essential errands. They partnered with a local clothing manufacturer and designed several low-priced, colourful masks, which they sell on their online shop.

Samantha Rayner, a second-year creative industries student at Ryerson University in Toronto, Ontario has explored a few different pandemic job options over the course of the past year. After the company she had hoped to intern for announced a hiring freeze, Samantha decided to pursue other options. She landed a part-time job at her local grocery store, where she worked enough hours from April until August to be able to pass up the CESB (Canadian Emergency Student Benefit).

“Even though it wasn’t the ideal summer job, I’m grateful that I was able to find anything at all,” says Sam.

She returned to school full-time in September, but opted to study from her childhood bedroom in her parents’ home instead of renting an apartment in Toronto like she had originally planned. “As much as I was looking forward to living in the city, the strict lockdown measures made staying home the more practical option for now. Hopefully with the vaccine starting to roll out, I’ll be able to go by next year!”, she says optimistically.

Sam, like many other students, is worried about how the pandemic might impact her ability to get a job once she graduates. Her advice? “Do something that will make your resume stand out in the pile.”

Samantha Rayner, Ryerson University Student

Sam has been managing social media pages for a handful of local businesses throughout the school year. “This way I already have some hands-on experience in the field I’m interested in, and I can build a portfolio at the same time.” Her hard work has paid off. Transcend Wellness Connection, a massage therapy clinic whose Instagram page she was running, recently offered her a full-time administration position for the summer.

Sam’s desk at Transcend - Covid safe, of course.

Sam isn’t the only one worried about post-grad employment. 81% are worried about job prospects and 71% about their employability, according to the National Union of Students. Under normal circumstances, students graduating into an economy with a high unemployment rate are often advised to pursue further studies, or to travel abroad. With travel restrictions still in full force, experts predict an increase in the popularity of graduate certificates. Students will continue to seek ways to differentiate themselves in a saturated job market.

Eric Doner, a third-year economics student, is planning on pursuing an MBA upon graduation - partly thanks to the pandemic. Eric’s internship was cancelled this past summer, and he decided to take online classes to fill his time. The high grades he received over the summer made his new post-grad plan seem like a more achievable option, and one that would almost certainly lead to the type of career he’s looking for. “I didn’t know what I was going to do to fill the time, so I decided I might as well get ahead in school. The business classes I took ended up being super interesting, and confirmed my decision that this was the right path for me” he says.

Ultimately, the pandemic has changed the way many students think about employment forever - positively for some, and negatively for others. Some are reevaluating the lifespan of the careers they’re considering. “It’s made me think about the purpose of what I want to do, and whether that purpose changes if I have to work from home”, says Samantha. Others put more weight on themselves, focusing on how they can make an impact regardless of where they end up career-wise. “My goal will always be to keep learning and getting better, whatever that might look like”, says Eric.

Experts such as Susan Ashford, Professor of Management and Organization at the University of Michigan, say that disruptive and stressful situations are often opportunities for growth. While the pandemic presents a variety of new challenges, it also creates new opportunities to cultivate a growth mindset. Although it can be difficult to remain positive, students who demonstrate resilience and use these difficult times as a learning opportunity will be the ones who come out on top.

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peterjonesparker · 7 years ago

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in which junior prom is a thing and what is michelle supposed to do when peter parker is a person who exists in the world.

also, i can’t write a prom headcanon/fic without at least mentioning this beauty of a post about michelle and peter and prom. it was one of the first things i saw in this fandom and it was stunning.

without liz around, michelle is no longer obligated to care about school dances. nor is she obligated to attend them. homecoming last year was somewhat fun. and she got to hang out with ned and the decathlon team and become friendlier with them. but ultimately, to her, it was a waste of her friday night as well as the saturday before when her mother dragged her out to go dress shopping.

so when michelle starts seeing posters for this year’s prom going up around the school, she internally scowls and makes sure to remember how not to spend that friday night toward the end of the year.

besides

she has lots of other things to worry about: training the team for the next academic decathlon competition in the fall, deciding which colleges she’ll need to apply for and starting those applications, compiling a reading list for the upcoming summer because it’s supposed to be hot and she will be staying inside, avoiding her parents knowing looks when she mentions that she is going to be hanging out with peter, trying to get said peter to tell her that he’s the spider man, training herself to act naturally around peter even though all her insides are FREAKING OUT whenever he stands too close or he laughs and scratches the back of his neck, looking up at her through his eyelashes.

like she said, she’s a little busy. so she won’t concern herself with prom or buying a dress or worrying about who to go with because she isn’t going. and she’s executing her plan stunningly. until about a month before the prom.

it’s lunch time. she’s sat down across from peter and ned, as she’s been known to do these days. she’s reading their eyes were watching god for like the third time. she loves the poetric flow of zora neale hurston’s writing style. she’s only peripherally listening to peter and ned’s conversation. so she doesn’t notice at first when cindy moon comes up to talk to all of them.

“i’m really excited actually. i’ve been helping out with the planning and organizing, so obviously i’m going.” cindy amazes mj. she transferred to their school at the beginning of the second semester and has managed to integrate well into the school. she’s made lots of friends, joined the decathlon team, started to help plan the prom. mj doesn’t know how she even has the time, or how she manages to remain so optimistic despite all of her obligations. cindy’s also smart as a whip and is going to really boost the decathlon team, so mj likes her well enough.

“we haven’t made any solid plans, but i think we’re going.” ned smiles, looking up at cindy and nodding his head.

“what? to prom?” mj puts her book down and joins the conversation. “i’m not going.”

cindy’s smile fades briefly. “but mj, you have to go! it’s not going to be that fun if you don’t go.” she locks her hands behind her back and looks down at her feet, which are currently kicking the ground. “i thought you’d have fun if the whole team went and I’m helping to plan it. i wouldn’t try to plan something you wouldn’t enjoy.”

mj sighs. “look, cindy, it’s not that i don’t think you’re doing a great job of planning the prom. i’m sure it’s going to be a great time. but dances aren’t really my things. not the biggest fan.” she smiles briefly before picking her book back up. but peter speaks.

“but, didn’t you go to homecoming sophomore year? didn’t you go this year?” he’s looking at her with eyes like those of a lost puppy. and her heart may flutter a bit in her chest. but she’s made up her mind. and she intends to stick to her plan.

“you’re supposed to try things out before deciding if you like them or not, peter.” she shakes her head as if that should have been obvious, of course. he looks down, letting out a small “oh”, before picking at his fingernails.

“well, at least think about it.” cindy smiles brightly, and mj is this close to giving in if only to make her friend happy. but no. she’s not going to go through a high school dance again, sitting on the sidelines, chatting with the decathlon team as she watches peter dance awkwardly with some nice, pretty girl who asked him to the dance because she’s not the only one who’s noticed how great he is. not that she’s jealous or anything. “think about it for me.” cindy’s voice is gentle and she remembers that cindy is her almost friend. she’s taken the new girl under her wing in academic decathlon, testing her so hopefully she’ll make the a team.

“i’ll think about it. but i make absolutely no guarantees.” michelle smirks when cindy jumps a little and twists to walk away. she looks back at the page and was reading and resumes, until ned gets her attention again.

“why don’t you like dances?” he’s got a look in his eye she can’t identify, and she doesn’t like not being able to read ned, who’s usually the easiest person in the world to read. really, everybody probably knows what that boy is thinking at all times. except for now.

“i don’t know. i just think there are better ways to spend a friday night.” she shrugs, and is going to go back to her book when she sees peter is still picking at his thumbs. “who are you going to ask, peter?” and her eyes widen slightly because how in the hell did she actually just ask him that question, unprompted, out of the blue. she wants to melt into herself, dissolve into her chair, and return in two years after the embarrassment of this one question has faded.

peter’s head shoots up quickly, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. he shakes his head, sputtering. “i, uh, i hadn’t…i didn’t…i wasn’t.” he winces slightly, and michelle sees ned looking frantically at peter. “i was just, i was just planning on going with you.” his eyes widen and mj is stunned into silence for a moment before peter quickly speaks again. “with you guys. with you and ned. i thought we would all have fun going together.” he coughs, head falling down slightly.

michelle sighs, her hopes crashing back down into reality, where peter doesn’t have feelings for her and doesn’t want to go to prom with her. not that she would go! but she told cindy she would think about it. so that’s what she’s doing. thinking about it. and maybe if peter had actually wanted to go with her, she would have thought about it more than initially planned. but he isn’t. so she’s back to square one. and suddenly, she can’t really stand their lunch table right now and she wants to just go to the library and be alone with her words. “well, while you two losers sort out your prom dates, i’m going to go to the library and read my book in peace. catch you later, dorks.”

and if she rushes away quickly before either of them can get a word in otherwise, well, that’s no one’s concern but her own.

but then flash forward two weeks and peter and ned are still talking about the prom. she knows because she walks up to them one day while they’re talking about it at peter’s locker.

“just ask her. it’s obvious she likes you. of course she’d say yes!”

“ned, no. she really doesn’t like me and she would definitely say no.”

“peter, if you could see the way she looks at you when you walk away. or if you do anything remotely stupid. peter, she has her own personal peter smile. this girl likes you, i know it. just ask her!”

“who are you asking?” michelle slams peter’s locker door shut and the two of them paint the perfect picture of deer in headlights. “you finally found a girl who’ll go to prom with you, parker?”

he doesn’t say anything. he just stands there, gaping and silent. ned has the decency to sputter. “no, we, uh. we weren’t talking about prom! we were, uh, we were talking about aunt may! peter wants to ask her if she’ll, uh, let him go to flash’s prom after party!”

michelle raises a skeptical eyebrow at the two of them before sighing. “fine, don’t tell me. i’ll find out in the girl’s bathroom, anyway. betty’s great at keeping everyone informed.”

peter finally does something: he sighs heavily. “mj, there’s no one i’m going to ask to the prom.” his eyes are downcast when he gently lets out, “no one’s going that i want to ask.” he looks up at her through his eyelashes, and damn why does this boy keep doing this? why does he keep reeling her back in every time she thinks she’s gotten a little bit closer to being over this? over him? over him and his stupid smile and his stupidly charming personality and his stupid desire to help everyone he can and his stupid heroism?

and then the bell rings before she can say anything else and peter is grabbing the straps of his backpack and turning to walk to psychology. michelle stays rooted to her spot for a bit longer, watching as he walks away slowly among the rush of students frantically trying to get to class. her heart leaps in her chest, wanting so desperately to ask him. to tell him. but she’s scared.

when michelle is scared, there is one person she can count on most, despite all odds. so when she gets home that night, she rushes to her room and dials the number. it rings three times before a grumpy voice on the other line gets out, “mj, make this quick. i’ve got midterms.”

and before she can chicken out of it, she blurts out: “i like peter parker.” and her heart freezes and she can’t move. she’s just said it out loud. to another person. to her brother. oh my goodness. she fucking likes peter parker. she wants to hold his hand as they walk to biology. she wants to steal french fries from him at lunch and make him silly little mixtapes of songs she thinks he’ll like. she wants to read while he goes over flashcards for decathlon because he still has to strengthen his history knowledge. she wants to watch star wars with him and impress him with her knowledge of the world and the jedi code and tell him about this theory that jar jar binks is a master of the force and the supreme ruler of the sith. michelle wants to date peter parker.

“sis, if you called me to tell me that you like your friend i am going to hang up this phone.”

“no, alexander, i like peter. i want to date peter.” mj worries that he doesn’t understand the gravity of this situation. mj has a crush on her best friend of over a year now. this isn’t something to be taken lightly.

“so date him. sis, i’m confused what the big hullaballoo is about this whole peter situation.” he sighs, and she hears papers rustle as he moves the phone from one ear to the other. “he obviously likes you too, if our parents know anything, which they do.”

firstly, she groans. because of course her parents told him. they probably told the whole family, even the extended family she hasn’t seen since she was seven years old when they went to visit los angeles. after cooling down from that betrayal, she continues. “no, alex, look. the issue is that i’m not sure if he likes me that way or even at all sometimes.” alex laughs, high pitched and as if he just couldn’t contain himself. “no, look, alex, i want to tell him but i don’t know what to do. i can’t just walk up to him and say, ‘hey peter, what’s up? just letting you know i have a massive crush on you and would really like if we dated so yeah, just get back to me, okay?’”

“i honestly don’t see what the problem with that is.” he chuckles and if he were here she would definitely punch him in the shoulder.

“alexander, be reasonable.” she huffs, stomping her foot down even though he can’t see or likely even hear it.

“okay, okay.” he sighs. “you need an opportunity where it would feel natural. best situation, he tells you and you don’t even have to deal with telling him since it seems you are incapable of that. i don’t know. what do juniors in high school do with their boyfriends or girlfriends?” michelle pauses. she’s honestly stumped. she’s never dated and neither has peter or ned really. “oh shit! you’re a junior! juniors have prom, right? ask him to go to that.”

she falls back against the bed, utterly defeated. “alexander, i already made a huge deal about how i’m not going. in front of him. to his face.”

“perfect, then he’ll know it’s special!” and how can he make things so simple when they aren’t? how can he not understand the reason this just can’t be?

“alexander, no, I can’t-”

“no.” he interrupts her and he sounds frustrated. “michelle, you can make up excuses all you want to avoid happiness. i can’t make you do the right thing. the thing that will make you happy. you have to decide that for yourself. you can make up all these reasons to sabotage your happiness, but i’m not going to let you back yourself into a corner where you think it’s impossible. if you like peter, you can ask him to prom. you can tell him you like him. you’re the only person or reason that you don’t have to tell him. peter likes you. i know. our parents know. and i really think you know. so don’t ask him to prom because you’re scared. but know that you’d be the reason you won’t have this happiness in your life. not peter. not anyone. you.” she doesn’t say anything for a few moments. he really pushed her where it hurts. and she might start crying a bit, but she doesn’t want him to know that. “look, i’m sorry to be harsh. you know i love you, michelle. you’re my rock. my ride or die. but if you don’t want to go get your happiness, i can’t force you. peter parker likes you and wants to date you. now it’s on you, sis.”

she takes a deep breath, collecting herself. “thanks, alexander. i’ll let you know what i do.”

“okay. i really do love you michelle. i want you to be happy. but i’m not going to let you pretend that you just can’t be happy. because you can be.”

they exchange goodbyes and she hangs up the phone. she curls into her pillow and decides she’ll go to bed early that night. there’s been enough thought for one day and she’ll deal with this whole thing later.

t-minus one week to prom. michelle is studying in the library with peter for their us history midterm tomorrow. she takes a deep breath, thinking about what alexander said. it’s on her to get her happiness. why is it so hard then?

she sits silent for another minute, opening her mouth a couple of times, intending to speak, but closing it again when she can’t get the words out. she sighs, opening her notebook to the last page and grabbing her pen.

hey loser. so i decided i’ll go to prom. be my date?

she tears the page out of her notebook and shoves it on top of the page peter;s had his eyes glued to for the last five minutes. she hunches her shoulders, placing her hands on either side of her history book and looking down at her notes. she doesn’t want to see him when he reads the letter. she doesn’t want to see the look on his face if he turns out to be disappointed. she doesn’t want him to pity her, trying to smile as he tells her that he’s sorry and-

the piece of paper is shoved on top of her book and she sees he’s written something beneath her words.

of course, mj. i would love that.

and it looks like he’s drawn a heart next to the words and mj’s heart flutters. she looks up and he’s smiling at her, cheeks slightly red and oh my goodness. she’s going to prom with peter parker. he said yes and now he’s smiling at her and she smiles back at him and oh goodness

and then

oh god

she stands up quickly, gathering all her stuff and shoving it into her backpack.

“what are you doing?” peter asks, confused, watching as she frantically pushes crumpled pieces of paper into her bag and dropping to the floor to gather her charger and coffee mug.

“i just, uh, i just remembered there’s something really important i have to do.” she stands up, pulling her backpack onto her back and holding the two straps tightly to her chest. he looks shaken up and slightly hurt and oh god. “i’ll text you and we can arrange everything for prom. sorry to do this. i totally blanked.” she’s about to take off when she stops, looks at him, and gently says, “i’m really glad to be going with you.”

peter’s lips spread slowly into a smile. “me too, mj.”

she gives him one last smile and then rushes out of the library and starts running to catch the train home. after the most excruciating thirty minutes of her life, she shoves the door to her house open and runs to her mother’s study. her mother looks up at her, pulling her glasses down so she can get a better look at the daughter she thought would be studying in the library until at least seven o’clock tonight.

mj takes a few deep breaths to catch her breath after practically sprinting up the stairs. “mom,” she gasps. “mom, i need to get a prom dress.”

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