#and honestly i wouldn't doubt his addiction started out this way too

[asilosmagdalena]

Kendall may not have actually killed himself in the finale, but Jeremy was going to turn the final scene into a suicide attempt, which ultimately didn't play out but you know he was dead inside. But the thing is, although he said "I might die" if he didn't become CEO, he knew that being CEO would still kill him, and that's partially why he tried to keep Roman out of it. Trying to become CEO knowing it would alienate himself from everyone and destroy him was the real suicide attempt.

The end of every season is the same for Kendall. I genuinely think the driving while high was a suicide attempt that ended in the worst possible way. Condemning Logan at the end of season 2 was a suicide attempt, effectively cutting him off from his family and father who had leverage over him. Falling asleep in the pool was a suicide attempt and we all know that. If anything, although on the surface he lost, there's the slightest glimmer of hope for him now.

[amomentsescape]

Can I request a Yandere Slashers with an S/O like Patrick Bateman (She is a rich narcissist, arrogant with others, always treating others as if they were inferior, but with the slashers she is sweeter, always showing affection for them)

Yandere! Slashers with Patrick Bateman-esque Reader

Slashers x Reader

Includes: Freddy, Michael, Jason, Thomas, Bubba, Brahms, Norman, Billy, Stu, Vincent, Bo, & Lester

Warnings: Some foul language

A/N: I love this request! Thank you, and I hope you like it! (No mentions of Reader pronouns in the fic itself)

Freddy Krueger

Honestly, Freddy finds it pretty funny (like most things)

He too is an asshole to pretty much anyone other than you

So together, you make quite the duo

He won't admit it, but there are times where you're honestly kind of scary

The way you can say the most traumatizing thing to someone without so much as blinking has him a little frazzled

Even he chuckles or shows some type of emotion

But when you're both alone, it becomes a different story

It's the only time he sees you smile and really relax

To think that you'd so much as hug someone is insane, but Freddy gets to see that side to you

It honestly just makes him trust you more

Knowing that he's the only one you're actually nice to puts his mind at ease

It's even gotten to the point where he feels comfortable letting you have some freedom during the day

He's still watching, of course, but he knows he has nothing to worry about

Michael Myers

He's probably the most similar to you out of everyone you've ever met

(It's why he became attached to you in the first place)

Seeing you say the most evil things to people without showing any emotion, and using your money just for yourself stirred something in him

And it still does

The connection was so immediate that he learned to trust you pretty quickly

He still likes to follow you whenever he gives you some "alone time"

But what originally started out as trust issues soon turned into entertainment

He likes seeing you move so confidently about your day and scaring all those around you

The way your presence alone silences a room is enchanting to him

And since he doesn't really like to go out much during the day, he gets to live vicariously through you

And when you come home with a smile and a quick kiss, it secretly melts him

You are perfect for him

Jason Voorhees

When he first got to you, his ability to trust you was hardly there

You seemed so cold and uncaring

It seemed impossible for you to return his feelings

But over time, he began to see you show more kindness and affection towards him

He was confused and just assumed that you were trying to gain his trust so you could leave him

But then he saw how you acted when he "wasn't" around

Whatever side he got to see of you wasn't the side you showed to everyone else

Because of this, you began to make him feel special

And his walls came crumbling down the as soon as they were put up

You spoil him, in his opinion

Lavish gifts, kisses, genuine laughs, and just overall attention has Jason melting in your hands

He honestly doesn't even care if it's just an act anymore

He's addicted to how special you make him feel

Plus, there's no way he's ever going to let you go anyways

Thomas Hewitt

It came as quite the shock when you were actually nice to him

He was enamored by you, clearly

But he saw the way to treated others as below you

It was a risk for him to take you as his in the first place

But when he noticed the little gleam in your eyes while looking at him, he knew he was locked in for good

He lets you initiate the affection most of the time, and he'll never say no to you

He even feels pretty comfortable letting you go into town and do what you want

He knows how you act around others, so there's no doubt in his mind that you wouldn't try to betray him

Plus, he loves the gifts you come home with after a day out

He's never owned anything nice before, so he truly feels like he's in heaven with you

You just can't ever act cold towards him

Even if he does something to anger you, you can't lash out

He will not hesitate to lock you in your shared room for the whole day if he sees it necessary

He likes your cold demeanor only when it's not directed at him

The moment it is, he will become immediately wounded

Bubba Sawyer

This poor man doesn't know any difference

You could step on his face and he'd be giggling

So he barely even notices your sour attitude with other people

He just thinks you're perfect no matter what you say or do

You can literally see hearts in his pupils when he looks at you

But thankfully, you actually enjoy your time with Bubba

The simplest touch or compliment given by you has Bubba kicking his feet and blushing

And when other people are around, you could call them the meanest name in the book, and he'd just be all smiley and giddy

He really is all around innocent

However, this sweetness only lasts for as long as you stay in the house with him

If you need to grab some things from the store or want to walk around by yourself for a bit, it comes with a price

He will beg, cry, and plead with you to stay

It doesn't matter how cold and uncaring you are with everyone else, he doesn't want you going anywhere

But if you insist, expect him to be pouty and silent around you for the rest of the day

But don't worry, by morning it's like it never even happened

Brahms Heelshire

Your calm and callous demeanor only fuels Brahms possessiveness

He loves how cruel you can be with others

And the money you have is fitting to him (having been raised a rich boy himself)

He'd prefer if you didn't interact with anyone at all, but he supposes your hatefulness makes up for that

Oh but when you come home with a big smile and arms outstretched for a hug, he becomes putty

He'll hold you for hours without so much as a motion to move

He loves that he's the only one that gets to see you like this

But just be careful

Brahms likes making up situations in his head

If he thinks you so much as blinked one too many times around someone, he will go berserk

He loves that you're cruel to everyone but him, but if he's having an off day, it's easy for him to see things that didn't actually happen

And once he has that thought in his head, it's hard to convince him otherwise

If he thinks you weren't being cold enough to someone, he will not hesitate to lock them in the house and place you right in front of them, making you do the dirty work

It doesn't faze you much thankfully, but it can become a bit annoying

Especially when your $800 shoes get blood on them

Norman Bates

Kindness is the number one policy in Mother's book

So he really isn't a fan on how you treat other people

Treating other's cruelly and not even attempting to share your wealth is all immoral in Norman's mind

He's tried having so many conversations to you about how you should be kinder

But his voice always falls on deaf ears

You'd think he'd be sick of it by now

But the main reason he can't give you up is because of how sweet you are towards him

You litter him with affection and sweet words

You gift him with just about everything he's ever wanted

He knows it's wrong, but he's addicted to how you make him feel

Could it all be an act on your part? Sure

But he barely cares, to be honest

He knows you'll be the death of him, but he truly can't imagine a better way to go out

Billy Loomis

He hates to admit it, but he finds it oh so sexy

You're quick with your words, and the slight raise of a brow is all it takes for someone to crumble to their knees around you

The control you have is awe-inspiring to him

And the fact that you become his little love bug at home only makes it more exciting

Seeing you go from rude and cruel one moment to sweet and kind the next keeps things interesting for Billy

He truly believes that most of humanity doesn't deserve the attention of people like you or him

You're both too good for them

With that being said, Billy's "body count" has gone up drastically since he claimed you

You're mean to someone? They deserve to die

You're a little too nice to a guy? He had it coming

Someone so much as bumps into you on the street? They'll be gone by the end of the night

He swears you're making him even crazier than before

But God, he loves it

Stu Macher

Look, Stu is all about hating other people

As lighthearted and goofy as he is, he really can't stand a lot of people

The amount of times he's murdered some stranger over and over again in his mind is outrageous

So he gets it

But at the same time, suspicion easily arises from people who see how outwardly cold you are

He's asked you time and time again to "lighten up," but it never changes anything

Which is why he's always so astounded by how you are when you both are alone

You laugh at all of his jokes, you plant his face full of kisses, and you even share his love for horror films

How you act with him is how he wishes you'd act in public

But at the same time, he kind of likes how two-sided you are

There's a part of him that loves being the only one who receives your kindness

It just makes it taste that much more sweet to him

And to be honest, if you ever did act nice to someone other than him, his whole mind would go dark

And you'd never hear from that person again

Vincent Sinclair

Contrary to what many people would assume, Vincent enjoys your callousness towards others

He hasn't come across many people during his life, but those he has met have always shown him nothing but disgust and hatred

Even his own brothers have ridiculed him and ordered him around like he was a slave (mostly Bo, but Lester has had his moments)

This only fueled a true hatred for most of humanity

It's a large part of the reason he set his sights on you in the first place

You stirred something in him, and he knew there was no going back from that feeling

But the way you acted around him was quite the surprise

You spoke so softly to him and touched him like you were a true angel on earth

You made him feel so special in a way that no one else had

There's no way he was ever going to let you go

It just feels so nice to have someone on his team for once

Your glare is so cold that even Bo doesn't want anything to do with you

Vincent has gotten his first taste of respect, and he only wants more

Bo Sinclair

He's always wanted his partner to have a little fire to them

But damn, you were a hell of a lot more than just a flame

He was drawn to you like a moth, and seeing how mesmerizing yet cruel you could be was like the total package to him

Anytime you told someone off, he'd just be standing back saying "that's my darlin' right there"

And at first, he didn't want to believe that you were being genuine when you cuddled up to him or gave him a passionate kiss on the lips

He thought is was all a game, and he was happy to play

But after some time being met with this affection, he soon became convinced that maybe you actually did return his infatuation

And that opened up a whole new world

He loves to take you to a night out in the next town over, showing you off

And between the money he's stolen off of visitors and the riches you have in tow, you both splurge on each other like crazy

This is quite literally a dream relationship

And with how manipulative you could be, the wax museum was booming more than ever

He'd be dead before he'd let you leave

Lester Sinclair

He finds your arrogance and cruelty a little unnecessary at times

But he doesn't ever push you too hard on it

As long as you're nice to him, that's all that matters

In fact, he lets you do what you want whenever you want it

You could walk all over him, and he'd still thank you for it

However, escaping him will never be an option

You're his, and your happiness is his number one priority

Just so long it involves being with him

But he grew to trust you pretty quickly

You're just so kind and loving towards him that he can't imagine you ever leaving him

It just doesn't make sense, right?

Even if you did try to leave, all you have to do is give him a big kiss, and he'd forgive you

Just don't talk to other people for too long

Even if you're saying the most hateful things to them, that attention alone is enough to make Lester insecure

If you want to spew anger at someone, he'll happily take it

Your attention is all he desires after all, good or bad

[strafepanzer]

haze | h.shinsou

▸ ▸ ▸ warnings: mentions of shinbaku, fwb shinsou x fem!reader, no naughty stuff but 18+ conversation nevertheless, implied quirk usage

▸ ▸ ▸ word count: drabble-sized

▸ ▸ ▸ a/n: playing with blog formatting and inserting into shinbaku. more to come probably! no edits

The smell of his favourite brew and the soft jazz wafting from the speakers make Shinsou feel somewhat at peace. Despite the time of night, you've agreed to meet him at your usual hangout: the cafe across the road from the apartment building you both live in-- neighbours, nothing more.

Never anything more. Not really.

You're in pyjamas: a worn gudetama set that he knows is soft as shit, a cardigan for warmth, and socks and slides. Cute, honestly. Any other occasion he'd make a joke at your expense, but it's 10pm and he did only text you 39 minutes ago to see if you were available.

It was a shit shift, but you seem to understand that he doesn't wanna unpack it, content just to be there with him, passively enabling his caffeine addiction.

Rather than being on him, however, your attention is on the TV mounted from the ceiling near the counter. It's muted, but there's no doubting the hero flinging himself through the sky in a series of explosions and a blur of black and orange, and there's no mistaking the stars in your eyes.

"You got a crush?" He asks, popping the lid from his takeaway cappuccino and licking at the chocolate sprinked froth.

"Huh? No!" You laugh, eyeing Shinsou off as he replaces the lid.

But there's a flush there, an embarrassment that wouldn't be there if he were wrong.

"You do, though. I can always tell." He teases, but he's right. He knew when you had the hots for the new barista 6 months ago, and he guessed about that hopeless crush you had on your tutor in college when the two of you ran into him at that bar last year.

"Doesn't matter. That guy is way outta my league." You sigh wistfully, eyeing the television longingly.

Shinsou snorts. "Bakugo?"

"No, his dad." You roll your eyes.

Shinsou chuckles, "he's not, though? I feel like people put that asshole up on a pedestal too much. He's just a dude."

A very hot, very famous pro-hero who Shinsou sometimes crosses paths with.

You give him a look and take a sip of your drink before placing it on the table. "What are you not telling me?" You narrow your eyes before your voice lowers conspiratorially. "Did you fuck him?"

Shinsou loves how fast your brain works. "Maybe he fucked me."

Your eyes light up. "Oh my god, I've indirectly slept with him?"

"Okay, this is beginning to hurt my ego."

You snort, an action Shinsou is absolutely smitten with. "I'm torn between wanting to know all of the juicy details, being jealous, and being mad you didn't tell me sooner."

"You don't tell me every person you sleep with." He shrugs, pulling a melodramatic gasp from your pretty lips.

"I do!" You're offended, brows pulling together and eyes wide. "You're the only person I've slept with in two years."

He blinks. This is... a surprising turn of events. That's as long as you've been hooking up.

Your fingers idly play with the condensation dripping from your drink, eyes downcast. He's hurt your feelings, and that hurts his. He's torn between smoothing it over and over-explaining, his too-tired-yet-wired brain jumping from A to B and back to A faster than he can actually compute.

Sometimes he forgets people aren't as free with their sexuality as he is.

"It..." he starts, growing frustrated with himself. "It happened twice. I don't think there was any reason, he didn't seek me out the first time or anything. And it's just sex, honest."

This isn't what he planned to talk to you about. In fact, he was sure he never wanted to tell you about the two of them ever, but his brain and mouth are clearly at war.

When he cautions a glance up at you, you meet his eyes with furrowed brows. He lets you process, feels that fast brain of yours tick, tick, ticking. But you dont say anything; no jests, no jokes, no cheeky predictions.

"I didn't ask you here to talk about Bakugo," he begins, trying to lighten the mood a little. "I just wanted to hang out. Sorry."

"You don't need to apologise, it's not like we're exclusive." You mumble just loud enough for him to hear. "You... like him, then?"

If it were socially acceptable to cackle like the witch from HR Puffinstuff, he would. "Like him? Babe, you meet him once, and I promise that little crush you have on him will fizzle away to nothingness."

"Mean!"

"He is! Extremely so!"

There's a soft smile on your face now, and it calms Shinsou some; he takes a drink from his coffee, savouring the bitterness as washes over his tongue.

There's a comfortable silence that follows, the kind that usually occupies the two of you in his lounge room as you both scroll on your phones and half watch shitty Netflix shows. It's crazy to him that you've hidden your crush on Bakugo so damn well, then again, he hadn't quite been forthcoming with his connection to the pro-hero.

A few moments pass, and you're slurping the last of your drink through the straw, shaking the ice around and tilting the cup so you can get the dregs.

"Is he bi?" You ask, trying to sound casual. Trying.

His interest is piqued, nonetheless. "I'm sorry?"

"I mean, I know I'm convenient, and you're up for anything, but does he exclusively sleep with men?"

Wow, okay, a lot to unpack there, but he explains: "I don't think he does, but the stuff we do might not be up your alley, sweetheart."

"I can--" you begin, too loudly. "I can do butt stuff, Hitoshi." You level with him seriously, voice lowered.

He can't help the hyena-esque howl that bubbles up his throat. "This is not a conversation for here." He spares a glance over your shoulder to the barista fussing about with the coffee grinder behind the counter.

You follow his line of sight, before your large, hopeful eyes are once again on him. "Can I come over?" You whisper, before taking your bottom lip between your teeth.

He's once again torn, mind not knowing where to latch: your teeth in your lip, the "butt stuff" comment, you practically calling him a slut.

The possibility of explaining the ins and outs of how Bakugo begs Shinsou to use his quirk on him.

Heavy lidded eyes drop down to your chest, tits pushed together as you lean against the tabletop to be a little closer to him. "Yeah, you're coming over."

[harlequinoccult]

Willow has always been a social butterfly, but she has always had... problems getting emotionally close to people. it's difficult to be open about yourself when you've been hiding behind layers upon layers upon layers upon layers of masks your entire life and you don't even know who the fuck you really are anymore, much less how you actually feel about things. she hates falling in love, she hates getting attached, but she knows that if she wants to thrive in life she can't do it alone. strenght in numbers and all that, she's not stupid, she knows how to play the social game, she knows that being likeable gets you way more than trying to isolate yourself.

so she's nice to people. especially those who are useful to her. she smiles and makes her voice as sweet as honey, as sweet as venom, rotting her lips every time she opens her mouth. she's confident, she's funny, she's every man's dream girl and much more. people are easy to play with. you just have to find the right buttons to push.

she just wishes no one else was able to push her buttons. it would make her life easier, not feeling anything. not falling for anyone. being 100% sure that her smiles and her touches were always practiced, fake. like she is. but there's always someone. there's always that one person who manages to slip through her cracks, who worms their way into her heart, who makes everything so much more complicated.

like her best friend. her one true friend. her only real confidant in that hellhole of a city. her roommate.

the one Carter kills.

she shouldn't have cared. if she just hadn't gotten attached, she wouldn't be suffering so much anymore. but she did. and now her debt is being held above her head, and she has to work for Carter of all people.

at the start, she's a little terrified. then she gets curious, wants to know about the whole process involved in things like this but she hates Carter too much to bother sweet talking that out of him (she's dropped the pleasant mask around Carter a long time ago. she highly doubts he would buy it at this point anyway). it takes a lot shorter than would be considered normal, but soon she's desensitized. stops caring. never cared much to begin with, but now there's a whole new layer of apathy to her.

she starts thinking abt killing. she starts thinking abt killing a lot.

she thinks abt her boxing practices, how good it feels to hit the punching bag. how she always found the rush of adrenaline that comes with a bar fight to be a special kind of addictive. hears the sounds of Carter finishing off a kill while waiting in the car and wonders what that must feel like.

beating someone's face in. feeling blood in your hands. grabbing all that frustration, all that anger she feels inside, letting it out. letting it all out. she finds herself hitting the face of a pervert at a bar and wondering what would happen if she didn't stop. comes back from her daydream to find herself being dragged away by security, the man who harassed her with blood spilling out of his nose and eyes.

still moving.

still alive.

it's not enough.

her skin i t c h e s .

....when she receives Host's invitation, she's not really expecting much. doesn't take long for her to realize what it's all about once she gets there, however.

it's a pleasant surprise, to say the least.

she gets to satisfy her urges curiosities and she gets to stay away from Carter?! it's perfect! she'd kiss the Host if she could, honestly. being stuck in a forest surrounded by hot people... if she could snatch herself a sugar daddy/mommy while at it, someone who could pay off her debt and pamper sustain her for life, it'll be perfect. (her main romance(s) will be Elysium and Host, purely by selfish reasons bc that's how she rolls. that will not stop her from flirting w literally everyone of the cast until she can't anymore and she definitely does not actually expect to fall in love w them... but she probably will anyway. i am especially interested in her dynamic w Ely, bc they seem to be the one who's most likely to understand Wills on some level.)

out of my 3 ocs that i use to put in Situations, Willow is definitely the one who's going to enjoy slsq the most. she's having a fucking blast, her morals are dead anyway and she's always been thirsty for violence. this is enrichment for her. at least until The Horrors begin (falling in love /hj).

i genuinely am not sure what her personality is gonna end up being in the game itself. if i had to guess, i'd say bubbly, with a teeny tiny dash of caustic (both her and Ariel are bitter and cynical, they just deal with it in different ways. Ari tries to be a better person and Wills either lies to herself or drowns in her own wrath). babygirl is a fucking mess, she's not going to fix anyone, in fact i feel like she's the one who needs fixing-

a few extra fun facts: she can't cook or clean to save her life. her apartment is an absolute mess just like her life but she is one of the best sex partners you could possibly ask for so she has that going for her. her style is trendy/stylish cute and revealing clothing, she knew going out to the middle of a forest wearing a mini skirt was a terrible idea, she just didn't care bc getting a few scratches matter less than looking good does to her. she's Tiny (157 cm/5'2" tall) but she's extremely strong bc she's addicted to exercising so she can and will kick your ass at any opportunity. 

she looooves making people have low expectations of her. even the way she dresses helps give her the bimbo image she adores to cultivate. catching people by surprise is a powerful weapon when used right, and she knows how to use it extremely well. her words can cut deeper and more painfully than any punch she could throw your way as well, her passive-aggressive game is insane. she knows how to use words not only to charm people, but to rile them up as well. i have a feeling she and OD will be besties, if nothing else purely because the both of them love chaos.

ok that's all! thanks for indulging me :)

(2/2) 

-🦊

(pt 2)

[halfetirosie]

°˖❀ Gather around, children! Time to talk about Responsible Drug Use and Consent! ❀˖°

(Elysium 06-07 React-os!)

1) Eiden over here getting his line of thinking corrupted by Kuya 😂

Idk if "boring" is the right term, but yeah, that sort of thing doesn't really fit his style.

Although, if asked directly I wouldn't put it past Kuya to claim it's "too boring," but I don't think that's his actual reason. I suspect that there really are some lines he won't cross, even if he won't admit it.... But hey, who knows!

2) Always remember: if something seems too good to be true, it probably is! There's always a catch!

Good on you, Olivine! Good job on not being naiive!

I think this section may be hinting at my theory about "freebies?" As in, Elysium gets you hooked by saying you only have to pay a fee to get into the club but they give the drug away for free, but then once you're addicted you have to pay for each individual pill too? Or something like that? 🤔

That's how they get you. They provide it for free/reduced prices until you develop dependence, then you have to start paying more; by the time you realize you're addicted, it's too late!

Addiction is scary, ya'll.

:(

3) Eiden, what the hell???

It wasn't that long ago that you said the way this drug is being distributed wasn't Kuya's style! What happened???

Come on, bro. Sometime I really hate Kuya, but give hime a little benefit of the doubt! Damn...

4) YOOOO WTF?!?!?!?!?!

( ⊙ ᗣ ⊙ )

This is so scary and sad... These people are so obsessed with this drug, they'll act like literal starving animals just get it.... And in HELLA unsafe ways.

THIS IS A ONE-WAY TICKET TO OVERDOSING!!!!!!

I AM SO FUCKIN MAD!!! I ALREADY KNEW THIS CLUB WAS EVIL, BUT THIS IS A WHOLE OTHER LEVEL OF IRRESPONSIBLE. FUCK!!!!!

Kids, whenever taking drugs (recreational or otherwise), ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS follow the dosage instructions...

5) Yeah, this is a fairly apt description of the Vampire Bitch...

Although, I think calling him "somewhat sickly" is a HUGE understatement. Look at how fucked up and weird his fingertips are! And the GRAY skin!!!! He's "youthful" but also three steps away from death, dude....Hence, I have declared him Vampire Bitch.

But seeing how Eiden considers him "youthful," does that mean Reverie actually does make people live forever? Or at least slow down the aging process or something? 🤔 Very confused on how all that works...

6) I WILL END YOU, VAMPIRE BITCH!!!! GET YOUR NASTY FUCKING EYES OFF OF OLIVINE!!!!!

🔥🔪🔥🔪🔥🔪🔥🔪🔥🔪🔥🔪🔥🔪🔥🔪🔥🔪🔥

I still cannot believe Vampire Bitch has the AUDACITY to try pimping Olivine out. 🤬🤬🤬

Olivine has a helluva lot of admirers, but story-wise, I think this is the first time an actual FUCKING CREEP targeted him specifically, you know? In a criminal/non-consensual way. Unless there's something like that in intimacy rooms that I don't know about?

Idk if Olivine has just been lucky, or if others are too scared of his strength to target him like this, or what....

Well, this whole situation just makes me SICK....

7) HELL YEAH, FOXY GRANDPA TO THE RESCUE!!!!

Did I already know the devs would make Kuya show up to save Eiden? Yes.

Am I still VISCERALLY RELIEVED? ABSOLUTELY.

8) The heroic return of the Super-Super-Rare

★ Responsible Kuya ★ !!!!!!!

SEE???? EVEN THE FOXY BASTARD KNOWS THE IMPORTANCE OF CONSENT!!!!

Dude, you KNOW something is FUCKED UP with you if KUYA is more decent in comparison...

Real talk, It's honestly REFRESHING AS FUCK seeing Kuya act like this.

Like, yeah, he can be a real asshole and a menace sometimes, but that's typically on a very small scale; making jokes in bad taste or messing with people one-on-one.

It seems that, when it comes to larger-scale issues---in this case, the operation of a club and distribution of drugs---he might still have a bad attitude, but he's at least reasonable. Just like in Forest Carnival; they were holding a party to help improve human/yokai relations, and though Kuya did act like a dick, he didn't sabotage things.

Current Kuya is a menace, but he really isn't a danger to the public; not like Past Kuya, who had no issues raising absolute HELL in Saia.

9) Signing off on a confusing not, here---

Is "don't actually fall asleep" in reference to how Kuya wants Eiden to act after swallowing the [fake] pill???? Like, I assume it's a fake pill since the text after this says that the drug doesn't have an effect on Eiden---so is Kuya hinting for Eiden to pretend like he's high, but to not literally pretend to fall asleep? Or is this a hint for something else?

....Or am I just an idiot? Tune in next time to find out!

🦋 End of report! 🦋

[betzabobababi]

Evolving Towards The Dark

Cancer fic 2

Hey olives! Welcome to my Second fic for my Cancer event. This took a while to get too, because a lot has happened in the past month lol.

Let me catch you up...First my apartment had mold in it, I moved out, then my new house burned down, I got an apartment, I went to Phoenix as a de-stress roadtrip, one of my family members passed away, I was severely depressed, and most recently, I broke my hand. I had a few WIPS and I wanted to finish one and post it so ya'll wouldn't be waiting so long for the rest while my hand healed.

Sorry I think i'm rambling, anyways, without any unecesarry delay here is 'Evolving Towards The Dark'

Summary: Change is a natural part of life, people agree to disagree, but sometimes an argument ends a life long friendship.

Warnings: Failed attempt at gaslighting, Swearing, arguing, yelling, friendship breakups, acting industry, character change.

Pairings: Tom Holland x GN!Best-friend!reader

Type: Angst

Listen to: I Can't Handle Change by Roar

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You were exhausted. Your voice was hoarse. The screaming had gone for longer than ever.

"I don't understand what you need from me!"

"I don't need anything, I want it! I want you to stop changing for the worse because I know what happens if you don't! I know how it'll end."

Tom stares at you. His face is pale and his hands are shaking. You on the other hand are stoic, barely showing any emotion. What you said before…it was true. You could tell that if he kept going down this path, there wouldn't be a path to go down on anymore.

Not for him, not for you, not for you as bestfriends. But why couldn't he understand that?

"Y/n! I. can't. Change."

"But you can change for them? You can become who they want you to be, you can change to appease the public but you can't even tell me that it's changing?"

"You know what? Fuck you. Fuck you, and your God damn mind thinking that those rumors are true, I'd never choose them over you. You're my best friend! These rumors are making you crazy, I'm the only one you should be believing and yet you aren't! You don't believe me, probably because you don't want our friendship anymore."

You scoff, genuinely surprised at his feeble attempt to gaslight you.

"I don't want this anymore? Seriously?"

You wave your arms rattling your frame, your hands start to shake, your eyes narrow glaring at Tom.

"Are you kidding me?" You say.

"You are an asshole Tom. How could you say that? I've always wanted this to last! I always will!"

"I highly doubt that." he retorts back.

"You know I'm not as stupid as you may think I am? I know you. You know me! So why is this so FUCKING HARD TO UNDERSTAND!? I swear sometimes I feel like you just go out and party to make me feel left out! Your eye bags are a clear sign of that."

"Tom! What the hell!? God damn it! You're the one that makes me look like this!"

"You stopped texting me goodnight and I stopped sleeping well, you stopped making sure I ate during the day and I couldn't get myself to keep food in my stomach. You are the problem. Why don't you see that?"

He takes a look at you once more before shaking his head…"fuck this" he says before pushing his way past you. He walks to the door grabbing the handle before he turn back at you.

"Change is a normal part of life. If you don't want me to change. Then maybe I don't want this"

With that he opens the door and slips out, slamming it once he's outside. You stare at the door in shock, what the hell just happened?

As the silence sets in you quickly walk over to the window. From there you see Tom sitting in his car, head down shaking. Instinctly your hand reaches over to the doorknob. You stop yourself. Scolding yourself for still caring. But why wouldn't you? He's your bestfriend.

Was.

The moment he walked out that door, he walked out of your life. And honestly, it was for the best. His addiction of being perfect for the industry was making him change for the worse. You'd tried to be there for him. But he just pushed you away. He built a wall so high that not even you could get through it. So when he left your life, you felt like you could breathe again.

Change is a normal part of life. But not all change is good. As our own person, we need to be careful how we change, and who we change for.

Something Tom didn't do.

Tags: @popfishjr @scarthefangirl @book-place @im-dreaming-of-youtonight

[coffee-in-veins]

Dismas for the bingo? Also I keep seeing the 'fandom is wrong about them' the filled with no further explanation, if you fill it could you elaborate? Thanks!

ding-ding-ding we have double bingo!

who is surprised? certainly not me

as for the "everyone else is wrong about them" elaboration...

my problem mostly lies with how fandom loves to absolve characters of their shittiness - and now canon does too.

like if we look at DD1, canonically, Dismas is not a good man. maybe kind in his own right, maybe loyal, maybe friendly in his own way, i'm not denying any of it. but he did shit. he killed people. he robbed, mugged, most likely caused road accidents (considering how highway robberies were made). very few people write/draw/talk about him as a man who has serious problems, is probably an alcoholic, a tobacco addict, and considering times, proooooobaby on some dubious opioid/alcohol/only Light and Para knows (probably more Para than Light) what else mix which was considered medicine at the time - that is, if he can be bothered or can afford it. he has to be at least somewhat shady.

in my opinion, he has to scheme, lie his ass off, double cross people - it's what kept him alive for so long, after all. sure he can tell noble lies, but it doesn't mean he's any more honest. sure he knows his way around people, but look at his barks, he surely is a braggart. he sees his skills as superior (as anyone in Hamlet does, really, but that's beside the point). he is a conman, a shitbag, a cheater - and yet in most cases, I see him portrayed much like a cat: a bit bumbling, a bit of a jerk, sometimes moody but in the end, harmless. and this isn't what he is, imo. he's a thug. a thug who writes poetry in his free time, sure, but a thug nonetheless.

it's honestly my problem with DD2 mostly. characters there are washed-out toothless poor little meow meows. and it saddens me, since i see them as horrible people who try to make the most out of their current situation - it doesn't make them any less of the shitbags for it. like, i have no doubt that Dismas would suicide-rush a boss to save a friend (much like that Darius highwayman who met his end in encounter with Shambler) - but it doesn't mean he won't sacrifice a seeker he doesn't care for to assure his or his friend's survival or won't mug some sorry bloke in the town if he wouldn't have enough for a bottle. fandom, unfortunately, is usually pretty bad at seeing the moral greyness of characters and sticking to it. they either become the bastards or the infallible "precious babies". and since Dismas is widely popular, he bears the brunt of it.

we know he was in prison but it is barely explored (we don't talk about DD2's portrayal of him there in this blog, i need to be much more inebriated to talk about Buffmas). he is writing poems, but it's rarely referenced. he used to be a candlemaker, used to have a lover, maybe was in Vvulf's brigand, and knows marine terminology, so maybe he was on a ship or was sold as a galley slave from prison - there's so much going on in his backstory that seeing RH dumbing it down to "desperate meow meow who had literally no other viable options was tricked by a bad gang to assault a clown car" and even the "moral sin" which is pushed heavily as the reason he came to Hamlet in the first place was washed off him; in DD1, he shot the carriage deliberately: he heard a noise, and fresh out of a fight, his reflexes snapped into pulling the trigger. but the big emphasis of the scene in the comic was that it was after the fight was completely and utterly over. that was the tragedy - the same quick reflexes that let him live to his age, that he always, always starts the run with, screwed him over into murdering a defenceless woman and a child. however, in DD2, he's robbed even out of that, as they died, as Narrator puts it, "in erratic gunfire", cleansing him of deliberately pulling the trigger and having full responsibility of it when there was no need for it.

i can go on and on but... those are the biggest gripes.

[ravenkinnie]

cw//text wall of disorganized thoughts

"there has to be sediments of resentment and anger with the way things played out" im so happy you brought this up bcs i really wanna talk ab some of jinx's feelings toward silco that are a bit more complicated like i know she loves him and i wouldnt say she hates him but i think the way she talked ab silco backstabbing vander makes me think that there IS unresolved frustration she has to silco deep down but she blocks that out bcs of guilt and hipocrisy bcs to be upset at silco for leading to the death of her family she herself has to truly face her own sins that lead to her family's death

like oh she thinks silco is unforgivable for killing vander? but she killed mylo&claggor, so is she unforgivable too? and its unbearable for her to think too much about so she doesnt and suppresses it and doesnt get mad at silco for being a killer bcs she is a killer too and he even ends up being one of the very few ppl she loves so dearly but the guilt would still be there tiny and quiet but stubbornly lingering in the crevices of her heart, that inner voice that frowns upon her for loving him battling against other voices that tell her silco is the only person who understands her now and she cannot lose him so just put up with the guilt that eats her up inside bcs in the end she found someone that is just like her.

yea ofc silco himself likely using manipulative mental acrobatics on her has a part in it but jinx has her own heart and mind and that is ultimately the most fascinating element when talking ab these things for me. like thinking ab all this astounds me how messed up their relationship is more than i already knew which is insane but i love them for that!!

exactly exactly you get it

I think honestly jinxs view of vander is so interesting because its so heavily influenced by silco and silco's projection of him and vander on her and vi. I think somewhere in that reddit AMA it was said that jinx doesn't hate vander the way silco does but she thinks he made the wrong choice and I can't believe you can just drop a line like that like the implications of this aren't crazy. there's clearly some guilt or grief there or else he wouldn't be a part of her hallucinations at all but then she believes silco was, in a way, in the right too, the cognitive dissonance of it would make anyone lose their mind. and the way she says that he stabbed vander in the back like he was going to stab her, like obv he stabbed him literally and i dont doubt silco would be like yeah i did that HSHDHJSHS but I wonder if there is an underlying sense there that it was a betrayal, it just wasn't as much of a betrayal as what vander has done to him

and then ofc she does love him and she depends on him emotionally, both because he fostered this dependency and just from a plain position of being his child. and even more so she relates to him, like its clear that a lot of their connection on both sides is projection and kinship, she thinks he is like her. so exactly like you said, except I do think jinx already thinks she is unforgivable and considers herself monstrous to a degree because she's aware of herself but as long as that one person she cares about accepts her as she is she doesn't care. she only starts seeming unsteady in it when vi shows up who, of course, would never accept her as that violent uncaring person. I think they tapped into something so interesting there at the core of this dynamic and its that being loved is addictive enough but being understood and have that be unconditional is a hell of a drug. and silco might be daddy's perfect little manipulator but he's not just her abuser, he's also her enabler first

and obv I'm a silco stannie and I feel like I should disclaim that jinx was ofc a child, she was an abandoned child and then became his child so she will always have less power in this relationship, whatever she was fed she would probably accept, regardless of what dynamic silco would impose on her. but I think it's also true that if he was yk. a less evil person ehshsj this bond wouldn't be so tangled or strong because jinx wouldn't relate to him on this level

[indigowizard]

An in-depth diss of Roxanne Wolf

I feel like what I've posted thus far in relation to this travesty of a character is only a hint of how I really feel about her. Obviously, I've made it apparent that I don't like her, but for all you can tell, I might as well just take her flimsy-as-cardboard insults at face value, or dislike her overt popularity (and thirsting) in the fandom.

However, it is neither of these things.

Initially, I just despised Roxanne Wolf because I took one look at her and thought: "Oh. The very moment Scott Cawthon handed off his franchise to another party (I didn't know that Steel Wool worked on Help Wanted at this point), they instantly decided to try and make the generic template of an angsty deviantart OC into a character." You see, that doesn't work, at least, not with FNaF.

You can't be a blocky, uncanny, ventriloquist doll-looking children's entertainment android, possessed by the spirit of one of the children it was meant to entertain (and you can go off in the comments about how they're not really possessed, it doesn't really matter either way) and also a bona fide furry rock star, it doesn't work outside of weird, plot-incongruent fanfictions. You can't be a muppet and a Black Sabbath band member. You can't be a telly-tubby and Marilyn Manson--actually, scratch that, Marilyn Manson does kinda look like if you took the beanie off of a telly-tubby. But my point is, you can't have your Chuck e. Cheese pizza and eat it like a badass, too. Unless you're Dante from Devil May Cry. (This paragraph has enough tangents that I should say 'Perchance' as a non-sequitur.)

But then, as I suffered myself to get into the game through watching playthroughs, I started to see that this issue covered all of the main four, and it seemed more to be an in-universe issue, but regardless, it still seemed to be be Roxy especially.

But I also began to taste of that angst, that good old My Immortal-esque angst, and, like a former drug addict recidivating, I fell right for it, and I realized: Roxy is the perfect angst cow. Not only does she have on of the most generic reasons for angst ('I doubt my value both intrinsically and in terms of how others see me'), but she is also truly trapped. Trapped in a building she can't leave lest she run out of power; trapped by the fact that, legally, she is literal property of her company--"A mere object!", as Gabriel from ULTRAKILL would say; and, finally, trapped by the fact that, whether possessed by a ghost, or possessed of a spark of life like in the FNaF novels, she is still subject to the faulty code that will forever wire her to be the way she is.

Perfectly angsty. Perfectly one dimensional and stupid. Perfectly vulnerable. Perchance.

The single lick of passion and competitive aggression, and the base appeal that any anthro wolf girl has, plus something about part of her aesthetic, all amount to a few scraps of likeability. Likeability which can be stirred up and made something of when reading enough silly little fanfictions. Likeability which makes her pathos just poignant enough to stroke those dopamine receptors in my brain that respond to that sort of thing. Just enough to make me relish drinking the tears from her eyes and the blood from her torn-out heart.

The fact is that if I can gloss over the fact that she's a machine, for kids, probably possessed by a kid, and also extremely ugly in-game, I can just about find her shallowly crush-worthy. That's necessary. If she weren't 'beautiful', then her angst wouldn't be beautiful either. But if she weren't stupid, (both she herself, and the basic concept of her, including how generic and one-dimensional her inner turmoil is) then her angst wouldn't be funny, either. She has to be both, and she is, so I feel about her the way I do--the closest comparison I could think of being kismesis from Homestuck.

So, in conclusion, I actually kind of like Roxy. But not in the normal way. Not in the way you simply and honestly are fond of a character, and wish them the best. I like Roxy as a lamb to the slaughter, just detestable enough to feel mirth at her suffering, but just lovable enough to empathize with her angst enough to relish in it. A perfect object of my sadism. A sweet peach to be torn into with my teeth. Tender. Delectable. Served medium rare, cooked in tears--even if they are a waste of good suffering.

[emmondsokolov]

// I don't really like or care for labels and don't feel comfortable advertising that about myself much, but for my OCs it can be an interesting development point, though I'm still not sure how I feel about talking about it openly, but here goes...

-

Marloix has said to a few people that he "doesn't do the whole 'love' thing." And he does genuinely mean that. He's not just trying to be edgy nor inviting any challenge to make him fall for someone. Man's an Aromantic Homosexual, he's not built that way, he just wants to be fecked and then left alone. He'll help out and do work and favors for the people around him to keep his mind busy, but he's not in it to make relationships with anyone. He's not quite above making friends though. He may think he is. And truthfully he's a horrible friend who tries not to get attached to anyone too deeply though, for reasons. But it still happens on occassion. Sex is just another way to pass the time for him, and in his canon he wastes a lot of his meagre earnings on prostitutes and brothels. I'm still not sure enough of the ff lore to be able to comfortably bring this sort of thing up outside of his canon though... Surprisingly Marloix is also extremely respectful when it comes to consent and privacy, sexual jokes and teasing aside, so it probably wouldn't come up anyway. On a sidenote, since I started drafting this post up Marloix has been called a Masochist after he started to speak a little more openly on such things. And... hmm... while I suppose the sentiment isn't entirely false, its also not exactly accurate either. With his nerve damage and severe, deep depression in general, he's rather addicted to seeking out any kind of high he can get, not necesarily through pain, he doesn't even like pain, but pain is definitely an option. He didn't correct them though, he'll let anyone weave and believe whatever story in their head they hold about him.

-

Nelandrie is possibly one of the Straightest characters I have, and likes men in almost every aspect. She stubbornly believes herself to be above falling for anyone though, and remains aloof and uncaring. She has the elven lifespan to justify not rushing into any sort of deeper romance and her work is far more important to her than any kind of relationship, beyond a fast means of stress relief. Sex is a huge stress reliever for her, and she is stressed a lot of the time. A lot of men who push her into a rage may unintentionally find themselves sharing a bed, or more accurately, a broom closet with her. (Though I'm not in any way going to write anything even remotely like this with people I don't know, god no!) Despite being completely straight, Nela is not against showing off a bit of skin for the ladies though, they can stare all they want for all she cares, she'll take it as a compliment. And honestly she would be as polite as her snarky, prickly nature can manage at turning them down if any woman ever came forward about it. She is particularly fond of an ugly little workaholic halfling man though. Not romantically of course! Its just nice to finally meet a man with very similar ideals and takes their job seriously. Definitely nothing romantic about it. Certainly not. No. Never... sips.

-

Urzula is both Biromantic as well as some flavour of Grey Asexual. She develops crushes on anyone who is nice to her for more than a few minutes and tends to get taken advantage of because of it. She has no idea what to actually do with these feelings and has no desire to act on any on them other than staring and pining from across the other side of the room with sad puppy eyes and not saying a word. Urzula also has almost no concept of long-term commitment to a relationship and is largely oblivious and obtuse to the fact that anyone could actually want that from her, she has unintentionally broken a few hearts this way. Her self doubt is far too strong, and most people only end up with her out of a sense of pity anyway, "I can fix her," etc. It's no surprise they get heartbroken when she doesn't respond in the way they expect. She's far too set in her ways, and most people see that as a bad thing or something that needs to change, rather than simply accepting it. Urzula's a little autistic in this way, combined with a lot of past trauma. She doesn't feel safe with change, and will shy away from anyone who insists she can, or worse, should change. Losing the relationship is just the safer option. No hard feelings intended.

-

I guess I'll mention Emmond since he's listed here too. He is an Aromantic Asexual who thoroughly believes himself to be a perfectly healthy and normal straight guy. His marriage didn't work out but he has a daughter, Aleks, as a result. He loves his daughter and would do anything to keep her safe.

[gildedphoenix]

(2062 words)

7 degrees of Antici-

They say you are connected to everyone in the world by no more than 7 degrees of separation. You know someone who knows someone who knows Morgan Freeman.

Or in this case, Red Hood.

It started out as an innocent comment. Just you, shooting the breeze, with your best friend and roommate. Nothing was ever supposed to come of it. You certainly couldn’t have predicted what DID come of it.

It was a week before your 21st birthday when you and Nathan, your long time best friend and roommate, were talking about plans for your quickly approching twenty first birthday.

“Wouldn't it be amazing to get a lap dance from one of your celebrity crushes?!” You said.

“It's not that outlandish of an idea! There're celebrity impersonators all over that will do everything from birthday appearances to…. Honestly pretty much anything. If you know the right people and are willing to pay the right amount I'm sure that you could even get a lap dance from one of the Bat-family!” Nathan was getting excited now. You could understand why. Nathan had had a long time crush on Red Robin. You're not exactly sure what he saw in the bird, just a little too skinny for your liking, but to each their own.

“Well I already know which bat, or rather which bird, you would get a lap dance from. I know you too well for that! What Rogue would you get an impersonator lap dance from?” Mostly you wanted to put your friend on the spot. Throw him a curveball, so to speak. It's no fun asking people questions they already have the answers to.

“Hmmm.” Nathan pondered the idea for a moment. “If we're just talking about Gotham rogues, I think I would have to go with Poison Ivy. Got to love a woman who knows how to take control. And those vines have some potential!” Nathan waggled his eyebrows at you. “But what about you! It's your birthday that's coming up. What vigilante or rogue whould you go for? Like, impersonator or real thing? Who would you want to sit underneath, forced to keeping your hands all to yourself, and enjoy the best time of your twenty-one years?”

It was an interesting question. Who in the city piqued your interest enough that you would be willing to pay good money to be teased by. There were plenty of attractive options! Men and women. Vigilantes and rogues. Even heroes, since Nathan hadn't actually limited it to Gotham. Though honestly you can't imagine yourself getting a lap dance from someone like Superman. You can't imagine Superman giving a lap dance. The Boy scout of America? Gyrating? Popping it and twerking? You snorted half your drink up even thinking about it. But what do you really find attractive? What catches your eye on the street? And what makes your eyes linger?

“Without a doubt, Red Hood! I mean, sure, I know that he had that thing with the heads and the duffel bag. Kind of the worst kept secret in Gotham. And while he's not really a rogue or a vigilante, more of a crime Lord that doesn't tolerate any shit in his territory, I'm going to pick him. I'm going to pick Red Hood.” You nodded with finality. Secure in your choice. “Because oh my Lordy, Have you seen that man's thighs?!” You flopped back onto the couch cushions. “I've never seen him fight in person but I saw him running across the rooftops one night as I was taking my trash out to the dumpster and I've never been the same since. I'm hooked. Addicted!”

“Interesting,” Nathan said in a way that had you wondering what he was planning.

“But enough of the hypotheticals, where do you want to have your birthday?”

The silly moment of smash or pass was quickly forgotten as Nathan helped you plan an actual birthday party at one of the newer local clubs.

A week later found you and a bunch of your friends hanging out at Tonic, one of the newer nightclubs that still had reasonable door fees. The group had gone in together to reserve the VIP room, saying they needed it for a surprise they’d planned for you later, but you didn’t dwell on it. A new outfit had you feeling good and your friends kept the drinks coming. The bass on the sound system was amazing, each beat resonating deep in your chest until you retreated back to the VIP room for a much needed break.

You knew something was up though, when Nathan actually came to drag you back to the room this time.

But hey, it's your birthday! What better reason to go with the flow and roll with the punches? So back to the VIP room you go, a little unsteady up the stairs but ready to handle whatever Nathan has to throw at you. It turns out that what he has to throw with you is a single chair in the middle of an otherwise cleared VIP room. At this, you start to get suspicious, but sit down anyway.

Nathan is basically vibrating with suppressed joy. “So, do you remember our conversation last week whhile we were planning your party? And how if we could pick anyone in Gotham, you would pick Red Hood?” Nathan was standing in front of the closed VIP room door looking not only at you but also at the other very confused party guests. Because yes, you do remember that conversation but you feel like he's being deliberately vague for the dramatic effect. And maybe you’d had too many drinks, but you're not sure what that conversation has to do with the party that you actually planned for today. That was just a hypothetical, right?

“Happy Birthday!” Nathan steps sideways, out from in front of the door and it bursts inwards, bouncing against the wall. In the gap stands the most convincing looking Red Hood impersonator you have ever seen. (Not that you seen many Red Hood impersonators but that's besides the point)

You don't know who Nathan found, or what service he went through to book this “Red Hood”, but damn did they get the body right! The man in front of you could burst a watermelon between those thighs, and you wanted your head to be that watermelon. You may not survive, but you would die happy.

There were no other thoughts in your brain as those thighs and the brick shit house of a man attached to them stalked closer to you in time with the beat of the bass. The straps of his leather gun holsters wrapped tightly around his thighs, in lieu of actual weaponry, the holsters were loaded with mini bottles of various liquors, and Hood had all your favorites.

Red Hood had finally come as close as he could without yet straddling your legs. And eye level with you sat a shot glass in a cheap plastic holster. Like something you would see at Spencer's. It seemed such a contrast to the fine leather otherwise encasing his thighs. Red Hood leaned down, his helmet next to your face as his modulated voice purred out, “Happy Birthday…Which would you like first?”

You had a moment to be confused but then Hood took a step back and stood up. His hands dragged upwards from his knees, along his thighs, and to the holsters on either side of his hips. From them he pulled two of the mini liquor bottles and held them in front of you. He may as well have been asking you to solve world peace for all the brain cells that you had active at the moment.

“I understand it's a tough decision, so I guess I'll just have to do it for you.” The electronic voice had no business being that smooth. Had no business being that seductive. And had no business eliciting the response from you that it very clearly did. You nod numbly as he pours a shot of whiskey into the glass mounted at center stage, starting low and raising the bottle as your eyes followed. The bottle finally drips empty as it comes level with his pecs. His hand continues upward to toss the bottle over his shoulder. That same hand drifts back down caressing armor and muscle until it reaches the shot glass again, plucking it carefully from its throne to present it to you.

You take the shot slowly, not really savoring or even tasting what's in it, but simply not wanting to lose eye contact with the Red Hood impersonator who has now started to move his body in ways that gave away this impersonator's training as a dancer rather than a vigilante. There is no way that the actual Red Hood would have that level of control and precision with his hips. With his stomach. With his ass.

All too soon the best 5 minutes of your life had come to an end. Judging that you were probably already near your limit, Red Hood and only given you one additional shot throughout the dance. You think it was tequila. He stalked back to the door, “You be good now, okay?”, before closing the door behind him, muffling the music from the main floor and severing the tension holding your spine upright.

“Nathan. What, and I cannot stress this enough, the Fuck.” You rolled your head to face over in his direction. “I don’t think I’m ever going to recover. How did you find that guy. And also thank you. But how?! Where? How does one even find a service to send dancers dressed up as crime lords? I need their business card.”

You rise up from the chair in the center of the room as the others work on reassembling the furniture to what it was earlier. The chips and salsa on the table in the corner call your name so you amble in that direction, not at all steady on your feet.

“Do I get the ‘best gift ever’ award for the day?” Nathan asks, staring you down with his chin propped on his hand.

“I think you get the ‘best gift ever’ award for the year. If not for my whole life. That’s going to be stiff competition to beat.” You realize a moment later the double entendre that slipped out as Nathan lost all composure and burst out laughing. He also dug into the chips on the table.

“Honestly, I don’t know what service it was. You know how Gotham is. I know someone who knows someone who knows a guy. I put feelers out to see if anyone could wrangle a Hood impersonator for a birthday lap dance and then got a message from another number a day later asking for the location and time. Ba-da-bing, ba-da-BOOM! Best gift ever award. I do owe Bill a favor now, but it’s worth it. His favors are usually doable. Small maintenance tasks or running daytime errands for him since he works nights. All worth it for the absolutely stunned look on your face during that dance. I thought you were going to pass out.” He chuckled as he popped another chip into his mouth and washed it down with a beer.

The conversation was interrupted as the door burst back open and the noise from outside flooded back in. It was quickly shut again as Kris, a mutual friend of yours and Nathan’s, turned to the room with a look of disbelief. “Did you guys know that Red Hood was here tonight? What was he doing here?! Do we need to clear out?”

There was a beat of silence before half the room dissolve into laughter.

“Kris, that was a dancer.” Lily assured her. “Nathan got a dancer to impersonate Red Hood to fulfill some crazy fantasy for LuckyTwenty-One over here.” She jabbed a thumb in your direction.

“What? No. Nooooo-nonononono. That was the actual Red Hood. My uncle is in the Goonion and was waiting for him by the door. He collected his guns at the coat check before leaving. That was not a dancer!”

The silence was deafening as everyone in the room pieced together what that meant. What had just happened.

“Wait. Are you telling me that you just got a lap dance from THE Red Hood?!”

Batfam Crack Prompt for Lumi

Reader's friend books Reader a lap dance from a Red Hood look alike. What their friend didn't know was that they got the actual Red Hood!

When Jason saw the request he figured why not, let's make somebody's day!!! This was gunna be fun.

(Happy Birthday Lumi, enjoy your crack prompt!)

[ilovehimbos]

okay- i have something. talking about breakfast:

what would each poet prefer: coffee or tea?

this is what i think-

todd prefers coffee & would have it black with A LOT of sugar

meeks has no preference, likes both (i'm sure he has a caffeine addiction though)

neil has no preference neither, likes both of them

charlie definitely prefers coffee & would have it iced with milk & sugar

knox doesn't like coffee & his favourite tea would be english breakfast or some type of black tea

cameron HATES coffee (i rlly have this hc that he calls it "bean juice" or sth like that) & ofc prefers tea & would love some exclusive tea from mariage frères (i'm actually thinking of beau breakfast tea)

and little pittsie chooses cola cao bc doesn't like coffee or tea

you're my new bff bc girl you are the only one here who understands it. you get it. but yes coffee or tea hcs for the poets!

todd likes coffee and tea but definitely has a preference for coffe bc he definitely has a caffeine addiction. probably started drinking coffee way too early of an age but. meh

will occasionally insult tea bc it makes him sleepy. and for some reason he doesn't like that

neil is without a doubt a hot choclate boy. this man 100% loves hot chocolate and will settle for nothing less.

he's an expert at making the best hot choclate that you will ever taste in your entire life and always has an array of toppings ready to go.

honestly, you're so right, charlie is an iced coffe type of person. he makes sure he gets just enough ice that he can rattle it around and try and piss off cameron w the noise. jokes on him cameron likes the sound

drinks way too much coffee though

he also seems like the type of person to enjoy an espresso shot but not out of actual enjoyment of the espresso but the caffeine benefits.

cameron is definitely a tea person. he has a wide variety of different types of tea and is the person you go to when you need a cuppa at the end of the day.

despises coffee with all his being (once again so true) but actually likes the smell alot. he finds it quite comforting.

pitts cola cao drinker

meeks doesn't have a preference but is very particular about how they're made. rlly likes a cappuccino though!

he does have an energy drink addiction though. like please someone get him away, no more caffeine for him

yea knox wouldn't like coffee and he finds the smell disgusting. he is a tea drinker and the most common raider of cam's collection. his favourite is earl gray or black tea.

he doesn't rlly drink it that often

[nothing-but-dreamy]

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS...OR SO

Pairing: FFXV! NYX ULRIC x GENDER NEUTRAL!READER

Words: 1.305

Warnings: fluff; angst - comfort; but in fact just two cuties

Summary: As you suggested 'friends with benefits' to Nyx, you thought about it as a good idea. The only problems are building feelings...

As you awoke in the middle of the night, you saw Nyx sitting on the ground in front of his bed. The bed you were lying in. He was just dressed in boxer shorts and was watching you while the pale moonlight illuminated the lines of his muscles, his scars and his soft looking hair in a dim, mysteriously cold light.

You rubbed the sleep out of your eyes as you saw the undefinable expression on his face, "Nyx? Why are you sitting on the floor? Come back to bed.", you were confused why he had left your side in the first place.

Nyx shook his head, "I can't...well...rather, I shouldn't."

You heard the tone in his voice and within seconds, you were awake. You sat up, draping the blanket around your body, "What do you mean you shouldn't?"

Nyx avoided your eyes, he wasn't even able to look into your face, "We should talk. I think we might have a problem."

Utterly confused, you scooted to the edge of Nyx' bed to gain his attention but he was still not looking at you, "Problem? What problem? What happened while I was sleeping? Or...did I do something wrong?"

"No. No, it's not you. It's me.", Nyx admitted and looked finally into your eyes where he got greeted with confusion and insecurity. You stayed silent and Nyx knew he had to speak up now where he had started this conversation, "I know this, between us, was meant to be fun. Nonbinding. That we...that it should be something easy with no responsibilities. You made this point clear in the beginning. So, I... I think we have to stop this. We can't see each other like this anymore."

You saw the truth in Nyx' eyes. He was serious with what he said. You nodded slowly. Actually, you weren’t really surprised that Nyx wanted to get out of this arrangement. You got used to the fact that people you liked left you after a while, "I guess, you...you met someone else then? It's that the reason why you wanna quit this?"

Shocked, Nyx' eyes grew bigger as he noticed how his statement got understood by you, "No! I haven't seen anyone else. Never. I know it was okay for you but I didn't.", he said honestly and got on his knees to crawl over to you. He wasn't sure but did he see sadness in your eyes?

Softly, he cupped your face with his hands, tickling your neck in a caring way, "I'm sorry. I... Hell!", he sighed, annoyed, shaking his head about himself, "I'm not good at such things. Alright, I... YN, I'm ... falling for you.", he whispered while looking straight into your eyes, "First, I thought 'yeah, let us have some fun' but that easygoing vanished after a while and got replaced by deeper feelings. I know you wanted your independence and maybe I should have said something earlier but I guess, it was already too late. I... didn't want to leave or lose you."

"And why now? Why are we talking about this now?", you asked in a low voice.

"Because I stayed quiet far too long. I can handle stopping this with you... at least, I hope. You wanted something else and it wouldn't be fair to keep you tied to me when you don't want this. Or when you don't want me as I want you.", Nyx said with a stinging pain in his heart. He wanted to keep you by his side but he stuck to his word that it wouldn't be fair for you.

You stared at the man in front of you who was so honest and vulnerable in this moment. He was right. As you had come to Nyx and brought up the idea of 'friends with benefits', you thought about it as a great idea. You liked each other and Nyx was a hell of an attractive man. And somehow, you thought it was perfect for Nyx because he never seemed to be interested in someone in a romantic way.

So, now, you were on the one hand completely overwhelmed and you saw a chance for yourself to speak up, "Nyx, I...", you whispered, looking away to collect your thoughts. As you met Nyx' glance again, he waited patiently for what you wanted to say.

By the sight of his perfect blue eyes, a thick lump formed in your throat but now, there was no space for your typical fears so you swallowed, "Maybe I should also be honest with you. It might have started as something fun but it changed for me as well. You're so strong on the battlefield. You're such a badass. You're determined and straightforward which is so damn sexy. And then, there's your other side when you're with me. The side no one else except me knows, I guess. You're so caring and loving and at the same time sensual and so passionately. It's addicting.", you whispered.

Nyx chuckled softly, shaking his head before he looked back at you with a smirk, "Be careful, YN. Or otherwise, when you talk like this, I could think you're falling for me."

"Actually, this thought isn’t so wrong. I guess, we both tried pretending something to please each other which wasn't working anymore.", you said with a shy smile. So many nights you had spent with the hero. So many things you two had done to have fun and now, where it became serious, you felt insecure and shy.

Nyx noticed the change in you. He watched how you were gnawing on your lower lip and how your fingers played with his blanket because you feared what? His reaction? He already told you how he felt but maybe he needed a different language to show you what he meant, "I had no idea how incredibly cute you could be when you're shy like this.", he whispered, leaning you back on his bed to crawl on top of you. Gently, he brushed his nose along yours.

You snaked your arms around Nyx' neck, playing with the longer strands of his hair while enjoying the feeling of the warmth of his naked skin and his weight on you, "I'm not shy.", you said with a soft smile, "I'm insecure how this shall continue between us. I don't have much luck with relationships... Never had. If I do something wrong, I will lose you. And I don't want that."

Nyx leant down to kiss you longingly as if it was the first time. You were clinging to him with your arms and Nyx was already in love with the thought to have you close like this forever. After this talk, he felt much better and more relaxed. That you felt the same gave Nyx more courage. As he left your lips to look into your sparkling eyes, he smiled happily, "Don't worry. You're not alone with these fears. As long as we both want this, us, to work, I'm sure we will find a way. Together. We don't even have to name what we are. It's just important what we want.", he whispered against your lips before he leant down to kiss along your jaw and neck.

You became weak under his touch. You always melted when Nyx spoiled you like this but now, it was something else. More intimate. He wanted you on a whole new level. Nyx wanted you just for himself like you wanted him. You felt it through his lips, his hands and his moves along your skin. You gave in even if you were scared. But Nyx gave you the feeling that he really wanted to make it work. And so, you pushed all the fears, doubts and problems aside. You were just falling for the hero of the Kingsglaive.

[septicwriters]

Happiness- Chapter 1

Its 2 AM, I'm tired and this idea hit me like a ton of bricks lmao

Requested? Nope just my tired thoughts

Pairing- Chase Brody x OC

Warnings- none besides swearing and Chase being Chase

~~~

Chase groaned hearing his phone go off yet another time. He just wanted to lay in bed today. None of whatever bullshit this is.

After yet another ding from his phone he gave in and grabbed it. The brightness of the screen hurting his eyes and a large contrast to the darkness of the room.

Marv: Hey do you mind bringing me some coffee?

Marv: I really don't care where its from and its no big deal if you don't

Marv: I'm just in the middle of something rn and I could probably get Jackie or Henrik to do it for me if you don't want to

He groaned once more. Of all the fucking days. Marvin and his damn coffee. He finally decided to compose an answer for the man.

Chase: sure dude no big deal give me a few to get out of bed

Marvin: :)

---

Pink. He was very pink. He pursed his lips looking at himself in the mirror, was this enough? Maybe another pair of earrings would work better? Nah this was probably good. He hoped. Marvin didn't exactly tell him what to expect.

Dammit Marvin.

Adriann huffed, good enough. Not what he'd like but it's definitely a start.

Chin up lovely, you got this.

With that, he walked out his front door. There was no need to drive in a car or something for a simple breakfast run. He just wanted something sweet right now anyway. Only for now. He'll be back for lunch later.

'It's pretty nice out for it being April' he thought to himself. Maybe today would be interesting.

He was interrupted by running into a flesh wall.

"FUCK"

---

Chase sighed as he grabbed the coffee from the barista and walked out the store. Just another normal day. No reason to exactly be happy or smile. There usually wasn't too much of a reason.

As he looked down at the cup he hoped what he got was good. It was for Marvin afterall. If he's tired enough he's not picky about coffee, but typically it has to be something strong but sweet for him to enjoy it. It was strong he could swear he got a buzz just from smelling it. Marvin better enjoy his fucking coffee.

He brought himself back to reality. He really should be nicer about this. Marvin was probably up all night working on a spell again. He loved doing it and maybe sometimes got a bit carried away. He did it for everyone's sake though. Just to make them all happy. It was worth it.

His thoughts were interrupted by the hot liquid suddenly being poured down the front of his shirt.

"FUCK"

Which one of them said it first was a mystery. They also caught the attention of innocent bystanders with that one. Below him on the ground was a boy (maybe a man he isn't sure how old this kid is). He quickly jumped up looking at him worriedly, quickly rambling on about something. Honestly Chase doesn't know and he's too tired for this.

He's tempted to just walk away when suddenly the boy stops. He looks at him curiously before smirking.

"Hello Chase! I've been dying to meet you" he spoke calmly now, like he was never more sure of anything. What. The. Hell.

"Do I know you?" Chase answered, definitely trying to seem on guard. This was weird enough already, he doubted the boy could make it any weirder.

"Oh you didn't a few minutes ago but I suppose now you could say yes," Yes please just make this more confusing for Chase. "I'm Adriann, I've been waiting so long to meet you. Would you let me buy you a new coffee? That was for Marvin, right? I swear he has a worse caffeine addiction than me and that's really saying something. I'm not sure what any of us would do without him though. Regardless I spilled it and I should totally be the one to buy a new one..." He trailed off with that sentence upon noticing the confused look on Chase's face. Why did he just started rambling on like that? There's no reason to. How does he know Marvin? Maybe he should just tell Marvin the cafe was out of coffee. No, he'd know better. Looks like he has no choice but to agree to go with this maniac.

Adriann is grinning at him with some odd amount of excitement. His hair messy and his clothes dirty from his fall.

Yeah, maybe this might be a good day.

---

"Sure you can get me a new coffee. Marvin wouldn't believe it if I came up with some excuse anyway," Chase seemed oddly defeated as he mumbled it. Did Adriann already mess up? It wouldn't shock him but wow that's a new record.

Nonetheless, Adriann took the lead. Pushing his bright pink hair out of his face as he lead Chase down the street.

"You're lucky a know a place with way better coffee than that! I came out here to get breakfast anyway so this totally works for me! I can buy you something too if you want? I feel bad for dumping the coffee on you. Doesn't that hurt?" Adriann asked, raising a brow at the still damp spot on Chase's shirt.

Honestly Chase had forgotten it until now, it did sting a bit but nothing bad. So he shook his head at the boy's question. Adriann wasn't sure what Chase was saying no to, but it was probably safe to assume both. He'll get Chase a muffin or something anyway.

They walked in near silence the rest of the way. Chase really doesn't talk much, does he? Maybe he's just shy? Marvin told him about all of his friends but he never mentioned this about Chase..

Maybe he's sad? Some people tend to close themselves up when they're upset. That would definitely make sense given he went through a divorce. It was over a year ago, but something like that will definitely mess you up for a while. It's okay Chase. Adirann smiled, coming up with an idea.

---

Chase grabbed the new coffee silently while Adriann ordered for himself. The smaller boy smiled at him. He has been smiling and happy the whole time they've been together. It's kind of creepy. Not to mention he knows Chase without Chase knowing him, but that could be because of Marvin. Still weird though.

Suddenly a chocolate muffin was thrown into his face. Not literally thrown, but it suddenly obscured his view. Adriann was smiling from behind it. Persistently holding it out to Chase.

"Happy breakfast!" He yelled excitedly. Adriann got him breakfast?

"Um, thanks dude. You didn't have to," Chase didn't want to seem ungrateful, but he really didn't have to. Adriann just shook his head with a smile.

They sat in silence for a while, said silence only being interrupted by Adriann's phone. He frowned for the first time looking at it, before he once more started smiling at Chase.

"Sorry, but I have to go. It was really nice meeting you, Chase! I hope we can do this again under different circumstances soon!"

In a blink Adriann was gone. That was, odd.

---

It was later in the evening when Chase's phone went off again. It was a number he didn't recognize, but the contact was already in his phone somehow.

Adriann 🦄: Hey, what's up?

[humblemooncat]

Someone wants to hear about my horrible boy? Time to get my notes!

Essentially, Nox's canon starts to diverge at the end of ARR, during the Crystal Tower raids. While inside the World of Darkness, something reaches out to him. He shakes it off at first, its claws digging into his forearm but finally relenting. Then during his fights, he notices a phoenix enter the field to aid him. Not knowing this was the voidsent that reached for him, he allowed it to help, and by the end it looked to be a kind entity when it scooped everyone up and out of the void gate.

Everything seemed fine afterwards, but the phoenix just... wouldn't stop following him. And once alone and out of eyeshot of anyone, it descended and had him pinned. It telepathically communicated that because of the blood drawn when it was shaken off, and he then accepted its aid, they were bound by a pact. And now that it was free of the void, it desired power. Power, it knew from watching him fight, that he possessed in abundance.

After this, any egi he tried to summon was replaced by this voidsent phoenix. It was frustrating at first, but he found himself leaning into its help and power the further he progressed; even coming to enjoy it. The depth of raw, untapped power he could harness now that they were bonded was intoxicating after a while. Too intoxicating. And he got addicted.

Having used his voidsent partner's power (being a quite powerful voidsent in its own right) so often, their aether became tied and tangled. Or, well, its darkness became tangled up within his aether to the point where it's hard to tell now where one ends and the other begins. This is why he looks the way he does. Blackened sclera, his old jade eyes now only showing their color along the edges of the smoldering gold, and the geometric patterns like ash in his flesh. Not to mention he's become hot to the touch.

It's also affected his mental state, making him the horrible man he is today. He revels in chaos and destruction. Any summons now require no tome, as lesser voidsent answer his call. Everything is done for his pleasure and amusement.

In fact, in his canon, I wouldn't doubt that the Scions actively work against him. Maybe he'd even joined in on Zenos' "hunt", gladly granting him what he wished. Anything to test the power he'd gained.

Essentially, he's the result of my brain wondering "What if the Warrior of Light just went apeshit? Just completely chaotic and destructive? Everyone already regards him as stronger than most. Maybe he'd be the thing to finally wreck the Source"

And I honestly don't doubt that he could.

Have my no good, terrible son.

This is Nox. Nox is a Summoner. Nox's phoenix really loves him. Wanna know why? He's a voidsent in disguise. Nox is going to pick up Reaper soon because this pact is about to get wild.

It's honestly a shame I rarely play this man, but he's one of the OCs I rarely ever rp with because his story's just... weird? Idk, I might be overthinking, but I figured people would be more up for roleplaying with my more canon-friendly, good boys. Nox is a dick. Gorgeous, but a dick.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #58

very weird formatting here, don’t know why??  please pardon it.

have you ever been involved in a custody battle before?  

i don't really know??  supposedly they were supposed to have split-custody, but idk what happened, because dad got no rights to us?

have you ever made out in a movie theater before?  

nah man, i'm there to watch a movie.

have you ever met anyone who was overly addicted to a computer game?  

been there, done that.

do you enjoy shopping with the opposite sex?  

sure, i guess.  like when jason and i were dating, i liked hearing his opinions on my clothes.  not because his opinion would dictate my wardrobe, but because i respected his outlook on what i wore and it just made me feel better about certain things.

have you ever been fingered, or have you ever fingered someone?  

hey, when you're abstinent, you find loopholes. :P

what's your opinion on beards?  

i tend to like shorter ones or goatees.

do you like orange juice with or without pulp?  

I CANNOT DRINK PULP NO.  funny story, supposedly when i was a kid, i called the pulp in juice "nipples"???  the fuck, brittany????

do you want to be cremated or buried when you die?  

i actually do not know.  i think i'd rather be buried in a recyclable box so i could be planted beneath a weeping willow or cherry blossom tree.

have you ever named a bug in your house and thought of it as a pet?  

lmao no but to be cute once i found a teeny-tiny spider floating in buffalo wild wings and played with it and named it in front of jason.  i was so hyper and squeally and i'm pretty sure that's when jason liked me the most.

what’s the theme of the calendar that’s closest to you?  

meerkats!!

have you ever gotten kicked out of a restaurant?  

no.

have you ever flashed anyone?  

i don't think i have.  small possibility i have to jason, but i doubt it.

have you ever been bitten by a dog?  

nope.  well, my own dog nipped me very gently once, because i was about to beat the shit out of him for accidentally killing a kitten.  i'm glad he nipped me though, because i ended up on the floor sobbing instead of hitting him.

have you ever left a note in someone’s mailbox?  

that's illegal, no.

what’s your favorite pokemon? (you know you have one)  

ninetales

are tomatoes the best food in the world?  

definitely not.  the only time i've ever liked a tomato period is when they were grown from colleen's garden.

the person you love/like, do they have any pets?  

a fatass beagle named ginger

have you ever attempted the infamous the impossible quiz?  

hell no, i don't have that patience.

you know those people with the multi-colored hair? what do you think?  

they're quite cooler than me.

did you ever pronounce spaghetti as “pasghetti”?  

omg yes!!

have you ever kissed underneath the stars?  

sure have.

what would your dream engagement ring look like?  

first let it be clear i don't really care what ring my husband chooses, but i do have preferences.  i think i want my engagement ring to be a dragon's breath opal, and my wedding ring to be rose gold.

if you post videos on youtube, what are they normally of (ex. tutorials, comedy, etc.)?  

ever heard of, like, an amv/gmv?  i make stuff like that with various media.

what age did you start getting acne?  

i'm not sure

will you go to your high school reunion?  

if i'm with jason, maybe.  if i'm not, hell no, because i don't want the memories.

if someone you knew slept around, would you judge them?  

i wouldn't judge them, i'd just feel disappointed with them.

the first person you were in a relationship with, do you still care about them?  

the first person i ever "dated" was this kid aaron, but we were only in the 7th grade and i never had any true, sexual feelings towards him, and we never had what i consider a valid, romantic relationship.  but i'll use him in this question.  i care about him as an acquaintance, but that's literally it.

has anyone ever sang to you?  

yeah.

who was your childhood crush?  

idk, i never really had a serious crush on anyone as a kid.  i had those puppy-love emotions, but never were they valid.  i "liked" various people... like timothy, dylan, aaron, i'm sure i'm forgetting others...

do you think it’s right for straight guys to get their tongue pierced?  

... yeah, why not???

kiss on the first date?  

eh, highly dubious.

have you ever thought you liked someone, and then found out that you really didn’t?  

juan, yeah.  he claims i broke his heart, but i fail to believe that.  we "dated" less than 24 hours.  we were nothing but friends before then.  he knew only minor things about me.  maybe he was merely in love with my face, but he definitely wasn't with me.  i'm well aware he's either lying (which he's proven to do) or exaggerating.

would you call your last relationship a mistake?  

never.

have you ever been asked out over text message?  

omg jason did and my older sister told me we couldn't be truly dating because of it.

would you ever take up a job in photography?  

that's exactly what i want to do.

someone texts you calling you a skank. what do you reply?  

do i know this person?  if i don't and it's just some random number, i'd probably just text back, "only for you, babe" or something like that.

are you someone who is afraid of clowns? what makes you fear them?  

no.  i just don't find them scary at all.

recommend a funny comedian to me:  

john pinette makes me wheeze.

do you believe the holocaust happened?  

i can't even believe people are still denying this shit.

did you like to collect frogspawn as a kid?  

yep, everytime we went fishing i did!

ever sleep on the floor with the person you like?  

yep.  j and i slept on a palet on the living room floor once, don't remember why...  i remember he had "arrow" playing WAY TOO FUCKING LOUD that night and i wanted to turn it down, but didn't know where the remote was so suffered all night lol.

have you ever rode around in the bed of a pick up truck?  

once or twice, yeah.

does the whole emo label thing bother you? have you ever been called emo?  

the misconception of the label bothers me.  "emo" means "emotional," not "we all cut ourselves and sob daily."  yes, i've been called emo many times.

do you like coyotes?  

they're cute, sure.

what kind of car does your most recent ex drive?  

i don't know what kind of car, i just know it's dark blue.  i'm not good with car names.

have you ever been fired from a job?  

i have not.

what financial class are you?  

pretty sure we're lower class.

do you like sprinkles on your ice cream?  

no, i don't like sprinkles on anything.

do you know how much you weighed at birth? how much?  

seven-something pounds.

have you ever made out on a couch?  

more than once.

are you desperate for things to change?  

i'm beyond desperate, dollface.

do you live close to the person you like?  

seven minutes away.

when’s the last time someone of the opposite sex told you they miss you?  

juan, a month or whatever ago...

anyone jealous of you or anything you have?  

no way in hell anyone is rightfully jealous of me.

has anyone told you they don’t ever want to lose you?  

yeah... yet he's the one that left me???

was today a good one?  

no, honestly.  this morning wasn't necessarily bad, just... y'know.  it always goes downhill.

do you talk in your sleep?  

sometimes, yes.

is it awkward when you run into your ex?  

we've never run into each other, thank god.  i refuse to go into his place of work too, so.

does it bother you when people smoke around you?  

yes, it does.

were you anyone’s first kiss?  

no, i was not.

who is someone you’ll always hate?  

it's so sad, knowing that i won't hate ashley anymore if jason and her just broke up.  but while they're together, i fucking despise her.  i have tried to stop myself, and i can't.  as for rachel, i don't really know if what i feel for her is hatred anymore.  i know i dislike her and i will forever for being the reason jason self-mutilated, but i don't know if it's still hatred.

do you lie a lot?  

personally, i think everyone lies quite a bit.

what do you plan on doing with the rest of your life?  

having a happy family... never working a day in my life while still being employed... traveling... but i'm aware that won't happen, not for me.

ever considered suicide? if so, did you try to commit suicide?  

yes and yes.  well, i never got to the point where i could actually endeavor suicide, but i'd chosen and dedicated myself to the decision.  first i was going to cut... somewhere, idk where, to hell with my shaving razor, but jason grabbed me and dragged me to the ground.  then a second time, i was going to slit my throat with a kitchen knife, but when mom saw me running towards the kitchen with what was going on, she snatched me.  i wish they'd never fucking stopped me.

have you ever painted something and been impressed by it?  

yeah, actually.

have you ever had a deadly illness?  

look me in the eye and tell me depression isn't a deadly disease.

who is the most interesting person you know?  

jason.  he was one in a billion.

what is your favorite body part on the opposite sex?  

i have a massive thing for back muscles, even if they're only very subtle.

have you ever dealt with a divorce or parents fighting or any kind of abuse at home?  

divorce and parents fighting, yeah.  abuse, no.

have you ever lost someone to death? if so, how many?  

not anyone close, no.  sometimes i wish he'd died instead, as immensely fucked up as that sounds.  i've come to the realization that loss through heartbreak's gotta be worse, because that person is still alive.  that person is still breathing.  but they just don't want you.

have you gone through a lot emotionally growing up?  

i know damned well i have.

are you touchy feely?  

through my relationship with j, i found i was.  not entirely sexually, either.  i just liked proximity to him and always wanted to hold his hand, have my hand on his chest when i slept, etc.  he really had to remind me other urges to touch him were okay, though, because i was very shy with my physical actions.  i was so afraid of doing something "god wouldn't like" but way more importantly, that jason wouldn't appreciate.  i mean christ, it took literally like a thirty minute conversation to get me to even look at certain parts of him because i was afraid of being a bad christian.  he got me to be more comfortable with time though, and he was so patient with me...  he taught me so much about myself.  i fucking miss him.  jesus christ what ever was the question.  basically yeah, i can be touchy-feely.

do you like to be in control in a relationship?  

no.  in general, i'm very submissive, but i know how to make my point, let's put it that way.  i'm not a dog you can just kick around, but i don't prefer to be dominant, no.

do you throw out your assignments once you’ve gotten them back?  

it depends on the assignment.

have you ever jumped off a high dive into a pool?  

no.  i've been all the way up there, but i was too scared to jump.

did you and your last ex have an amazing relationship?  

fuck yes we did.  i was a depressed mess and i needed him a lot, but that doesn't mean it wasn't amazing as hell.

how did you notice the last person you kissed?  

he walked up to me, that's how i noticed him.

why will/won’t you and your ex get back together?  

because he doesn't fucking want me.

are you welcome at the last person you kissed house?  

probably not.

have you ever watched someone being carried into an ambulance?  

my sister, yes.

have you ever showered with a member of the opposite sex?  

i haven't, and don't want to.

has a boyfriend/girlfriend ever given you a stuffed animal?  

he has.

did you graduate high school a virgin?  

i did.

are you honestly happy with yourself?  

um, not in the least.  i'm a fucking failure.  i just decided to drop out of college in interest of my mental health too, so now i only feel less about myself than i did already.

would you rather have a chocolate or strawberry cake for your birthday? 

chocolate, strawberry cake is gross.

do you get lonely easily?  

fucking yes.

have you ever tried wine?  

i actually still remember from when i was young in the catholic church and we do the last supper thing, whatever it's called, when we would have a very small sip of wine; i remember the taste, and it was gross.

would you be excited or annoyed if your favorite book was being made into a movie?  

both my favorite books were made into movies.  seen one, not the other.

do you need structure in your life or do you prefer to just go with the flow?  

give.  me.  structure.

post a picture of you from one year ago.

boy, didn’t i look healthy.  just a fucking year ago.

do your parents swear?   dad does freely.  mom won't say "fuck" unless she's really pissed. have you ever written a fan letter? if so, who was it to and did you receive a response?   ummm i don't think so. what trait(s) would you not want your children to inherit from you?   my depression.  my anxiety.  my pessimism.  my lack of independence.  do i need to continue? are you a fast talker? do people have a hard time keeping up with you in conversation?   i don't know if i talk quickly in normal conversation, but i talk very quickly when i'm angry or passionate. have you ever dated someone that wanted to change you? how so?   the love of my fucking life left me because i was a depressed fuck, so he obviously wanted that changed. when on youtube, what types of videos do you mainly watch?   let's plays, mainly.  i watch other stuff too, though. where would you like to be in 5 years?   most importantly, i want my mental illnesses under control.  two, i want a steady job.  three, i at least... hope i'm with someone i really love, and he really loves me. what was the experience that impacted you the most in your life?   jason leaving me.  it sent me to multiple mental hospitals, and the mental scar is still rampant and festering.  my sanity is atrophying so agonizingly slowly, but steadily.  i sincerely don't even feel that "sane" defines me accurately anymore.  jason leaving just did so.  fucking.  much to me.  it affected me mentally and physically, and it's indirectly affecting the people i care about, too.  i'm perfectly aware i'm only 20, but don't fucking tell me it didn't ruin my life for now.  because boy, do i wish someone else could feel what i feel. what type of relationship did you have with your parents?   my mom is my crutch.  my dad cares, but he really doesn't understand me. where do you go when you need some inspiration?   inspiration for...? which fictional character do you believe is the most like yourself?   the only person that comes to mind immediately is heather mason from sh3. who is your role model?   jason. what was your favorite romantic moment and why?   slow-dancing with jason in the headlights of his old truck in my front yard to "stairway to heaven" by led zeppelin.  i don't need to explain that. i assume you've done drugs? what have you done?   i've actually never done drugs. was the last person you texted a hottie?   she's pretty, yes. have you ever felt replaced?   i have been replaced, and i'm sure he's happy about it, as he can finally fuck somebody and sleep peacefully at night instead of staying awake with me all night while i have a panic attack. do you know how to let go?   nope. is there anyone that you care more about than yourself?   jason, easily. if someone asked you what you wanted, what would you say?   i want jason. has a girl ever stayed up with you all night? a guy?   both have. ever been called a bitch?   yup. do you like being choked by a sexual partner?   heavily, heeeell no.  even to a medium degree, i wouldn't like it.  yes, i know he comes up in everything, but later in our relationship, jason would occasionally grab my neck while kissing me and squeeze it like really gently, and i did like that.  we were both rather submissive people, so when he did something i'd consider a bit more domineering, i generally liked it. have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?   almost every song i come across reminds me of him one way or another. do you ever think what if?   WELCOME TO MY LIFE are you going to have a baby by the time you’re 18?   i'm about to be 21, and i never had a baby that early because i have respect for my fucking body. are you currently fighting with someone?   we're settling down a bit, but i guess? are there any names that you don’t like because you once knew someone with that name that you strongly disliked?   "rachel," yes.  i used to love that name, now i just... can't stand it.  a rachel threatened to borderline kill me because her ex had a crush on me, like i can help that shit, and that same rachel was jason's ex that hurt him so deeply he cut and burned himself.  so.  i have zero tolerance for that whore.  i wish i had no opinion on the name, but damn... my dislike of her kinda just bled into the name itself. have you ever taken photos in a photobooth?   i've still got the ones i took with jason on my 16th birthday somewhere... could you ever be friends with somebody who was racist?   i am friends with a racist.  reason being, her system of beliefs aren't my business.  now i believe there is zero excuse for her racism, but i still love her very, very much and hope she changes. which natural disaster do you think is the most terrifying?   dude, earthquakes.  fuck that. if somebody has a long tongue, would that impact their attractiveness?   uhhh... no? do you own anything with your birthstone in it? what is your birthstone?   an angel charm pin, yes.  it's amethyst. if you had to pick a favorite bird, which one would you choose?   owls. how long was your longest make out?   hours.  practically all night. what was the last song you listened to?   "think twice" by eve 6. does being in love make you nervous?   it didn't when we were together, but it does now.  i let my guard down, and i shouldn't have. how easy would it be to get over the person you currently like/love?   it's impossible. is donald trump hot?   I JUST FUCKING GAGGED how often do you honestly say "i wanna die"?   usually, one or two days a week.  sometimes more. do you think you'll ACTUALLY live a happy life with somebody?   nope. have you ever kissed just a friend?   on the cheek, never on the lips. do you like spicy foods?   oh fuck yas when you said something naughty when you were little, did your parents wash out your tongue with soap?   mom would threaten to, but it's never happened to me. ever had your stomach kissed, even when you weren't expecting?   jason has, yeah. anyone have anything of yours?   jason has loads of stuff that are rightfully mine, but he can keep them. do you keep your relationship status to your self?   i mean, i don't go running around screaming i'm single, but i'll tell people i will if they ask? name the people you miss RIGHT NOW?   anyone who reads my surveys knows whom i miss. what color is your hair?   it'd dyed red. have you ever kissed on a boat?   no. would you want to change for someone?   if they were interested in me changing for the better, of course. do you write how you speak?   i write exactly how i speak. your ex says they love you, what do you say?   "fucking prove it." have you ever liked someone who had a girlfriend/boyfriend?   yeah, right now. are you anyone’s first love?   i don't know.  i honestly doubt jason was truly in love with rachel, but it's possible. can you honestly say you’re okay right now?   hell no. what’s the last reason you held someone’s hand?   i was getting my old cyst emptied and holy fuck i thought i was dying. are you lonely? be honest.   i'm always lonely, usually.  i like being alone sometimes, but not for long periods, yet i am regardless.  the only time i'm ever not lonely is when i'm at colleen's. last reason you kissed someone?   because i loved and still love him? do you believe that there’s good in everybody?   no, honestly.  some people are monsters. would you fall apart if that last person you kissed walked out of your life?   he did walk out of my life, and i did fall apart, and still haven't been fixed. think to the last person you kissed; have you ever kissed them on the ground?   lmao shit you not he preferred kissing on the floor.